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naowominutella · 3 months

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Prepared for first of march

but seariously.. does anyone else do this . Like walk around and gift decorated pins to their classmates??

#1 march #pins #me #kinda blurry ngl #What have i done #Hopefully no one sees this #My sister did #rl damian #Damian the guardian

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henbased · 11 months

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I was awoken at 7am to my cats mother who is a stray were technically supposed to be fostering but it’s been 2 years biting me so fucking hard because she wanted some attention

#📌#call that half-domesticated #the funniest part is I Did Not Want To Foster Her #my sister did #guess whose all moved out tho

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kfcede · 4 months

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My youngest sister went through a phase when she was younger where she'd just... eat my homework.

Trying to explain that your baby sister ate your homework is a disaster and no one ever believed me.

#siblings #my dog did not eat my homework #my sister did

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diari0deglierrori · 6 months

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I was sold by the harp already, it reminds me of my childhood

#also not bad #I wanted to learn to play it at some point #my sister did #for a short period of time #but I used to hear harp at least once a week

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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sage-is-in-fact-very-tired · 11 months

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playing skyrim, and this fucker is named trampoline-

#look i dint have any name ideas #my sister did #so #trampoline they are-#a tag to help find my own posts

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marisatomay · 2 years

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blah blah blah aging tumblr population etc etc if you are ever visiting a family that just had a baby, and you know that they have other small children, bring a little something for each of the other kids. it doesn’t have to be anything fancy but, even the most charitable, well-behaved child starts feeling left out and lonely after the nth visitor brings gifts and attention for their parents and new sibling and, either isn’t there for them at all or the only engage with them about their baby sibling, especially since their parents have probably been completely consumed with the new baby. make their day and they will remember that bit of kindness and attention from you forever.

#like i still remember when my brother was born my sister and i were bored shitless in the hospital and really lonely #because all of the attention was on our parents and nate #or if people did even say hi to us it was just to ask if we were excited about the baby #but when my aunt visited before even saying hi to my parents she came right up to emma and i and gave us each a beanie baby #she’s the eldest of four so like. she Understood.#and that meant so much to us skjfkdjdjkfdkdkdk #yes this happened in 2000 yes i still remember it what about it!!!!!!!

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dingbatsy · 2 months

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I was today years old when I learned a vixen is a fox, not a deer. But I made this already, so enjoy!!

#radiostatic #staticradio #voxal #alastor #vox #radiosilence #hazbin hotel #my art #look i wasnt the only one who thought a vixen was a female deer #my sister did too #so we're both dumb HAHA #i think i mixed up vixen for venison #who knows #vox is still a fuck boi #so there

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grimfantas · 3 months

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10 years in the future for Nanako-chan

#nanako dojima #persona 4 #yu narukami #ryotaro dojima #tohru adachi #a little sister... a LITTLw sister. you expect me to not fawn...? to not crumble? ok....#go on. look....... go on. GO ON!!!!! (crazed) (eye twitching) (i like these 4 and nana-chan especially)#hope you like my older design for her...#funfacts i said on twitter so i'll put on tags here:#adachi did his time in jail quick. yu's 27 and still looks the same. pretty bancho #i think nanakos signature color would change from pink to yellow. yu doesn't actually wear any yellow at all in p4g IIRC #but it is a color you associate him with the most. i want nanako to adopt that color. BUUUTTT #for self indulgent's sake she does wear pink to get yu to dote on her more. (reminds him fondly of baby nana-chan)#(AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)#oh yeah and adachi's a hag. i think his fashion is handpicked by yu probaably.#(thinking if i missed anything else) ahhhh........... nanako-chan... return for p6 or something. ok byeee!

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radroachmeat · 3 months

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#my fav image everrrr she did say that. In the game #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout #veronica santangelo #my sister made this #<- she got mad i didn't tag that

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valeovalairs · 3 months

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My sister, who does not have a tumblr account and instead leeches off of mine, drew something on my iPad and wanted to share with the other good omens fans