#NO FUCKING WAY I'M GONNA WORK MY ASS OFF AND HAVE KIDS MAKING ME PAY SO MUCH FOR A TOY TO PUT IT IN THEIR HANDS

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Me: *Goes in line holding the Rocky Recycle Truck toy*

Toy Store Clerk: Is it a gift? Son, cousin?

Me with the widest smile ever: Nah don't worry about gift wrapping, it's for myself!

#Shame? WHAT EVEN IS THIS WORD #You should've seen his face he was stunned for a couple seconds and “wow nice” #Dude there was a Rubble & Crew playset that costed like ONE THOUSAND REAIS #This Rocky + recycle truck was like 130 #NO FUCKING WAY I'M GONNA WORK MY ASS OFF AND HAVE KIDS MAKING ME PAY SO MUCH FOR A TOY TO PUT IT IN THEIR HANDS #NAH MISTER #THIS FOR ME #And you better guess I'm playing with it too #Again what even is the word shame Idk it #On a second note I should be trying to save for a new laptop too #Welp #Paw Patrol #Rocky #Paw Patrol Rocky

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Dear Diary. . .

18+ for some smut. . .

Steve thought a lot about people's sexuality since Robin came out to him on the floor of the bathroom at Starcourt. Well, he thought about it a lot more. Before, it was only a casual thought. How could two members of the same sex do that? Not in like a hateful way but more in a curious way. How could two men have sex? He usually spent time on it, thinking about it. . .too much time thinking about it, really. That should have been his first clue, but at the time, he shook those thoughts away by telling himself that he was just being overly judgemental like his dad. Now, he was thinking about it a lot more, and he couldn't quite figure it out until Eddie Munson walked into Family Video one afternoon.

"It's fucking freezing! I can't believe Keith made us come in. I swear that I'm going to do it this time," Robin said. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You keep saying it, but then it never happens," Steve chuckled.

"There's no one even here!" Robin complained.

It was the middle of December and pretty damn cold. No one would be crazy enough to escape the warmth of their homes just to get a movie. He was quickly proven wrong, though, when the door opened and Eddie Munson walked in.

"Jesus H Christ! It's freezing in here. Do you guys have the air conditioner on in the middle of winter?" Eddie asked.

"It's broken. We couldn't fix it, and we couldn't get anyone to come out," Steve said.

"And you guys didn't just say 'fuck it' and go home?" Eddie asked.

"We can't really afford to do that," Steve said.

"Really? King Steve can't afford to take one day off? The man with his own castle or so I've heard," Eddie said, and Robin scoffed at him, scowling.

"You mean, my parents' house? Yeah, no. It's their house and like they've told me since I was six: It's their house and they just allow me to live there. They made me start paying them rent the minute I didn't get into any college, and they threatened to kick me out without all my stuff if I didn't pay up on time, so no I can't really afford to say fuck it," Steve said. "And the thing about being called King Steve are the assumptions that come with it. They assume that because I was born into money that everything that comes with it is mine. That I have it easy. You know, you can have all the money in the world but you can't pay your parents to love you. I mean, I don't know. Does it make you feel good when people call you freak?"

"Jesus. . . No," Eddie said, looking properly shamed. "Look, sorry, man. I can fix your problem for free."

"Which problem? People calling me King Steve or my parents not loving me?" Steve asked.

"Well, I can't fix those problems, but I can fix your heat," Eddie smirked. "Let me go get my tools."

He left the store, leaving Steve alone with Robin.

"He's lucky he apologized and offered to fix the heat, or otherwise I would have kicked his ass," Robin muttered, and then she paused. "Your parents are home, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Steve muttered.

"You know, my dad put bunk beds in my room like I'm a kid or something. Want to have a sleepover?" Robin asked.

"Only if I get the the top. A top for a top," Steve said with a smirk.

"Ugh. You'll get bottom and like it," Robin said. "You know, my parents love you. I think you should take up their offer and -"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Eddie made his way into the store. He shook his toolbox at Steve.

"Lead the way, Harrington," Eddie grinned.

"I'll mind the store, although I think it's pointless. I don't think anyone else is crazy enough to come out in this weather," Robin said to Steve. "You mind him."

"Thanks," Eddie grinned cheerfully as he followed Steve into the back.

Wordlessly, Steve watched as he took off his jacket and got to work. The other man was wearing a tight red sweater. It was so tight that Steve could practically see his. . .wait, are those. . .are those nipple piercings? Steve swallowed. Why couldn't he look away? The movement of Eddie rolling up his sleeves tore his attention away from the man's nipples. There was a tattoo of a creature controlling a puppet on his forearm. He stared at it while he worked and wondered if there were any more tattoos on Eddie's body. Steve tilted his head to the side as he pictured taking off Eddie's sweater to look for more, his mind picturing Eddie's piercings. He could imagine them so clearly, and Steve could see his own hand reaching out to brush his thumb over the piercing. Suddenly, Eddie's underneath him, and Steve is reaching down to take it -

"All done!" Eddie's voice called out.

"What?!" Steve exclaimed.

He realized what he was feeling now. The familiar pull of arousal in his stomach is something that he immediately recognized. Mews being eaten by a demodog! Mews being eaten by a demodog! Yeah, that did it. Eddie was staring at him now with his big brown beautiful eyes, his plump lips looking ever so kissable. Shit.

"You okay, man?" Eddie asked. "Where did you go?"

"Oh, nothing, sometimes I just space out," Steve said, trying not to blush.

"Yeah. I do that, too. I fixed it!" Eddie exclaimed proudly. "Am I forgiven now?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," Steve said. "Thanks."

Eddie shrugged on his jacket and shook his toolbox at him.

"I'm going to go put Bert up now," Eddie said. "And then look for a movie."

"Bert?" Steve asked.

"My toolbox. Problem?" He asked.

"No, it's cute," Steve laughed.

Eddie looked at him for a moment as if he was trying to figure him out.

"Hm. Dustin was right. You are an interesting dude," Eddie said.

They walked out of the back together, and Steve continued to watch him as he walked out.

"It's definitely warming up," Robin said. "Thank God!"

Eddie walked back in and started browsing the aisles, Steve’s eyes never leaving him. Robin unscrewed her bottle of water and started drinking.

"Yeah, I can definitely picture myself having sex with that guy," Steve said, and Robin started choking on her water. "Jesus, Robin. Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?! Are you okay? What the hell, Steve?!"

"What?"

Later that evening, after they got off of work, Steve and Robin immediately got settled up in her room. A random radio station was playing in the background. They were laying on the floor, their feet pressed against the wall, as they stared at the stars on Robin's ceiling.

"So, let me get this straight - something which we apparently both aren't - you kept trying to picture how it worked between two men, and apparently, that made you think that you were homophobic?" Robin asked.

"Pretty much," Steve said.

"Okay, you're going to have to start telling me all of your thoughts outloud so I can tell you if you're wrong or right," Robin said. "I'll do the same thing with you."

"Like we're diaries?" Steve asked.

"Exactly like we're diaries, Steven," Robin said. ". . . Diaries who give feedback."

"What if they're dirty thoughts?" Steve asked.

"I'm a fully grown lesbian. I can handle it," Robin said. "I want every single slutty detail."

"Okay," Steve said.

"For example: Dear Diary, my platonic soulmate realized he wasn't straight today. He also came out to me. I want him to know how proud I am of him and how much I love him," Robin said. "Even if he is attracted to boys."

"Dear Diary, I came out to my platonic soulmate today after finally accepting that I can be queer. . .that I could be bisexual like Bowie. I don't think I ever could have gotten to this point without learning from her. If she hadn't trusted me, then I wouldn't have been able to put so much trust and courage into accepting myself. I'm so proud of her, and I love her so goddamn much," Steve said. "Even if she is a pain in the ass."

"Aw, Steve," Robin said tearfully and took his hand, interlacing their fingers together. "You know what my favorite thing about our friendship is?"

"What?"

"We're both bitches," Robin said and they both burst into fits of giggles.

After that, Steve wished for more interactions with Eddie, but whenever he went to pick up Dustin from Hellfire, Eddie would scowl and look away whenever Steve tried to wiggle his fingers at him. Eventually, it just became awkward, so Steve stopped trying. He didn't even look at him anymore. Steve even tried approaching him in the grocery store just to ask what his problem was, but Eddie took off and ran out of the store without buying anything. Eventually, Steve realized that Eddie clearly still saw him as King Steve and wanted nothing to do with him. So Steve stopped trying, disappointed, and rejected. Instead, he tried moving on by going on dates, and eventually, Steve pushed Eddie to the back of his mind. . .then spring break rolled around. It all went to hell, and suddenly, he was fighting to save Eddie from being convicted of murders he didn't commit while also trying to stop the earth from splitting open.

Luckily, it was all a success with some injuries. Unfortunately, Eddie still needed to be hidden from the town, and Steve's house was the best place for him. He was currently resting in Steve's guest room, bandaged heavily as he was worse off than Steve but not so bad that he needed a hospital. Steve was pacing downstairs. Now was the perfect time to talk to him. He couldn't run away this time. Steve sighed and walked up the stairs. He entered the room without thinking and without knocking. Eddie froze, his unbandaged hand down his pants. He quickly pulled it out.

"I had an itch!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Uh. I can come back," Steve said.

"No, seriously! It was an itch!" Eddie exclaimed. "I was just thinking about you."

Steve’s mood changed pretty quickly. His cheeks turned pink, and he grinned. He slid carefully onto the empty space beside Eddie. He used an elbow to avoid laying on his stomach.

"Really?" Steve asked.

"How could I not? You pulled me out of hell, man," Eddie said. "I wish I could thank you properly, but I can't even get out of bed."

"You can thank me by letting me do all the work," Steve said.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Eddie said, looking at him, confusion as he started to disappear under the covers. "What are you - Oh! Oh! I think there was a misunde - OH, fuck it! It's such a good one. JESUS H CHRIST!"

There was a popping sound from under the covers as Steve peeked out from under the blankets.

"Do you want me to stop?" Steve asked.

"No! Get back down there," Eddie said and pushed his head down. "I can't believe - I, uh, thought that I hated you and I, uh, I uh, I didn't understand why I did. Oh, fuck! It's why I ran - I shouldn't have - Steve, Steve, I think I'm going to - God!"

Steve plopped down on the empty spot beside Eddie, smirking as he licked his lips.

"I didn't think I would be so good that I'd get a name change," Steve said. "God. God Harrington."

"Cocky asshole," Eddie replied. "So, what does this mean? Is that all I'm good for, or do you want more from me?"

"I think I would like to try more with you," Steve said softly.

"Me too, and once I get better, I am so returning the favor," Eddie smirked.

"There's a lot of things we're going to do when we get better," Steve said as he leaned in close to Eddie's face.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Steve placed a soft kiss to Eddie's lips, smiling when Eddie started kissing him back. Steve pulled back.

"The first thing, though. . .I'm so making you sleep on the couch," Steve said.

"What?!" Eddie yelped. "Why?"

"Well, one, you forced the kids to choose between Lucas and Hellfire. Second, you didn't stick to the plan, and you nearly died in Dustin's arms," Steve huffed.

"But I - yeah, no, that's fair," Eddie mumbled. "I do feel bad about making them go through that. I'm going to work my ass off to make it up to them."

"I know you are," Steve said softly. "Luckily, you've got the rest of your long life to make it up to them."

"Thanks to you," Eddie said, and Steve bit his lip. "You want to tell Robin, don't you? Go ahead."

Steve went downstairs and into the kitchen. He picked up the phone, twirled the phone cord around his finger, and dialed Robin's number.

"Hello?"

"Dear Diary. . . I totally went down on this really cute guy. . .bit of an asshole. . . but he's working on it. . ."

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #bisexual eddie munson #bi4bi #robin buckley #lesbian robin buckley #robin & steve #platonic stobin #platonic soulmates #platonic with a capital p #stranger things fanfiction #rueleigh writes

[axyer]

"(FUCK YOU YOU AQUAMARINE ANGRY LITTLE SHIT!)"

Atop the tall podium, rinsed in an iridescent, golden hue, a celestial rim washing down each corner; trimmed by a dusty silver, shivering with a pearly shine.

"[WHAT DID I DO, HUH? EXACTLY WHAT? DID I STAND WRONG? DID MY EYESIGHT MAKE YOU JEALOUS? AM I OFFENDING YOU WITH MY ABILITY TO SHUT UP?]"

The audience, cornered in the nooks of their seats, twitched and bowed at the rancorous uproar.

"(WELL IIIIIII'M SORRY, I HAD TO CARRY US ALLLLLL THE WAY HERE, YOU GODDAMN CUCK!)"

"Guys…" A well-heighted man, head the shape and hue of a noble planet. "You both won, you don't have to–"

"[WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'CARRY', YOU TURKEY-BRAINED BODY ODOUR-FRAGRANTED PURPLE MASS OF DEPRESSED RODENTS?]" Mind tightly roared from the crease of his lips, whipping his brand new sun trophy onto the podium; a hard, metallic clatter snapping into the flooring. "[IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME, WE WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE INFORMATION OUT THERE ABOUT OUR RIGHTS TO THIS SEAT!]"

"(ARE YOU KIDDING? EVERY CHONNY JASH FAN LOVES ME! I'VE GOT FUCKING APOLOGISTS! YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE WHO FRAME YOU AS THE NARRATIVE'S VILLAIN 'COS YOU SUCK THAT BAD!)"

"[YEAH, AND WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SET UP YOUR KEYBOARDS? AND TRANSLATED SHEET MUSIC INTO SOMETHING YOUR SORRY ASS COULD UNDERSTAND? AND–]"

"(SHUT–)"

"[AND FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET UP YOUR STUPID FUCKING AIR-CONDITIONER, BECAUSE–]"

"(I PAY FOR YOUR PAINKILLER PRESCRIPTION!)"

"['(OHHHHH, I CAN'T FOCUS IN THE HEAT! BUT I WEAR BAGGY HOODIES AND TWO-LAYERED PYJAMAS AND)–']"

"(AT LEAST I DON'T EAT MY GOLDFISHES!)"

"[AT LEAST I DON'T PLAY FNAF SONGS ON THE PIANO AT FOUR IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!]"

"(I WROTE THE BEST SONGS FOR OUR ALBUM! WITHOUT ME, OUR STORY OF HOW WE SUFFERED (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF YOU) WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN KNOWN!)"

"[NAME ONE PERSON WHO USES GOOD DAY AS AUDIO!]"

Words torn from mouth and crashing into each timorous ear surrounding the two, pronounced in a very ired, Australian tongue.

Arms furiously stretched and swung and feet stamped to enunciate visible outrage.

"Yeesh, Moon… I always thought our relationship was bad, but it seems like sun and moons across the universe can get so much worse…" Sun shivered, a quick tug on his coarse yet metallic collar, punctuated by a swift glance to his lunar counterpart. "Over where we're from, we have to deal with living in a giant animatronic mall and occasionally the works of cross-dimensional madness. But over there, it seems to me they really need to learn a lesson about getting along!"

"I could take them in a fight with a small dresser tied to my dominant hand." Moon stared, unblinking, body as stiff as a long rock.

The other contestants watched as the words were rocked and tossed in a staggering hatred.

At one point, Heart's wings had enlarged to mimic that of a threatened bird inflating its stance to appear larger; Mind's chest hummed with the overwork of his fans.

Suns and moons from all sorts of solar systems stationed across the multiverse watched in horror.

Two of them were those guys from Nimona, but I don't know dick about shit about Nimona so you gotta use your imagination for that one.

"Right right, you two have your trophy, just…" The celestial staff member disarmingly motioned their hands, gazing down at the two halves. "What are you going to do with your prize money?"

"(Oh, I'm probably gonna use it on an invasive wildflower and a seven hundred AUD life-sized Lopunny plush.)"

"[To pay off my severe prescription zolmitriptan debt that I'm four months behind on because I spent half my yearly salary on a car that I ended up crashing because of a migraine.]"

Happy tiny niche fandom winning against FNaF and Nimona for all who celebrate

Reblogs > Likes

#chonny jash #cccc #chonny's charming chaos compendium #cj hms #the Sun and moon duo tournament #cj mind #cccc mind #chonny jash mind #hms mind #cj heart #chonny jash heart #cccc heart #hms heart #cccc fic #chonny jash fic #cj fic #hms fic #cw profanity

[ohtobeleah]

But the fact we know Dot will eventually call Rooster 'Dad' makes my heart swell

Terms of Endearment Masterlist

AAAHHHH my heart just burst inside my chest thinking about this. I feel like it would just slip out the first time, and Bradley would be caught so off guard that he kinda just freezes? But not because he doesn't want to be known as dad, but because you’ve just never spoken about it before or mentioned if you were comfortable with it or if Dot should even be calling Bradley her dad because well, he wasn't biologically.

“You're her father in all the ways that matter though Bradley, so if she's comfortable enough with you to call you dad then I'm okay with it too.” You barely blink after Bradley brings it up. Dot had called him dad at the kindergarten pick-up. She’d come racing out with a drawing she had done just for him, Like she’d done in daycare a million times before. Although this time she’d come racing up to him, jumped into his arms, and squealed two words Rooster knew he’d never forget and would never stop hearing in his dreams.

“Hi Dad!!”

“Okay, well good chat babe.” Bradleys just pressing his lips together and nodding softly, hoping that it wasn't just a one time thing. It's not. Dot calls Bradley dad whenever she isn't calling him Rooster, which had replaced Tooster a few months ago because her speech therapy had actually been working much to Bradleys shock horror. He missed Tooster.

But as Odette gets older, her attitude evolves and when she's fifteen? The spitting image of her mother and a pain in the ass, Dot is calling her uncle Jake to come pick her up from a house party she’d snuck out to attend. Only the cops had shown up and she high tailed it out of there so fast she ended up down at the beach crying. Jake doesnt come and get her, he rings Bradley who's jumping out of bed so fast he doesn't even put shorts on, boxers will just have to do.

“You’re not even my real dad!” She's yelling, a sobbing mess in the passenger seat of Bradleys Bronco, he’d just finished giving her the third degree but told her if she’s gonna do this type of stuff she has to tell him because he just wants her to be safe. “Where do you get off telling me what to do?” And Bradley hates himself for it because he knows it's not good for the Bronco but he's pulling over on the side of the road and slamming on his brakes so hard it sends both him and Odette forward for a moment before their backs hit the seats again.

“Listen here kid–” Bradleys gritting his teeth, clenching his jaw and pointing his index finger at the fifteen year old whos sitting next to him with alcohol running though her system and he fucking knows she high as a kite just by the red in her eyes. “I may not be your biological dad? But I'm here aren't I?” Rooster points out the elephant in the room. “Ive changed my fair fucking share of shitty dippers and I held your hand while I taught you how to rollerskate and ride a bike and I mashed your stupid bananas just so you could throw them in my face anyway.” Dot was dumbfounded, Bradley had never raised his voice at her like this but someone had to smack some sense into this kid before it was too late. “I pay half your school tuition and I make sure you don’t starve to death whenever your mothers working late and need I remind you I’m your legal goddamn guardian, your last name is Bradshaw! So no–I’m not your ‘real dad’ but I don’t need you giving me shit when I’m here and always have been here and always will be here and that deadbeat dickhead isnt and never fucking was.”

It’s silent for a moment while Odette just takes in what the fuck just happened—usually Bradley was pretty passive, never one to raise his voice. But she’d clearly upset him. He’s putting the Bronco into gear again, shifting the gear stick in frustration as he pulls back onto the main road cautiously—his attention now back on the road as he whips the steering wheel around with one hand.

“Your mother would be beside herself if something happened to you kid, so just do me a favour here? and tell me where you’re going, no questions asked.” Again, Roosters met with silence as the fifteen year old just tries to process everything Bradley had just said when her head is spinning and she can’t tell if her fingers were real or not.

“Do you reckon he knew I was defective?” Dots letting her head rest back against the seat as she tries to hide her tears while looking out the window. “That’s why he didn’t want me?” Odette Bradshaw was too young to remember what you’d been through to keep her safe, let alone know why her biological dad wasn’t in the picture.

“You aren’t defective Dot—“ Roosters sighing, he’s still fucking pissed but he can sympathise. “He just isn’t a good person, it was never you.” If there was a conversation Bradley Bradshaw knew not to start without your permission it was the topic of Dots biological father. “But I love you? Isn’t that enough?”

“Please—“ Odette scoffing, picking at her cuticles till they started to bleed a little. Huh, guess they are real after all. “You love mum and you love Riley and you love Nick—“ She’s pausing, her bottom lip quivering as she turned to look at Rooster. “But I was just the package deal.”

“You have no idea how much I love you kid—“ Bradley’s chuckling to himself as he flicks the indicator on. “You’re my daughter, end of story.”

“Yeah but like, you don’t have a choice?” Bradley could tell by the way Dot was slurring her words that she was gonna be sick by the time they pulled into the drive.

“No I don’t have a choice with Riley and Nick—“ Rooster explained. “Because I created them, I have to love them regardless, but you? I choose to love you and I choose to put up with your recklessness and I choose to get up in the middle of the night to come get your drunk ass because I love you and I choose to love you.”

“Really?”

“If you throw up in the car I may have to re-evaluate but yeah kid, you’re stuck with the ‘not real’ dad for life.” By the time Rooster is pulling into the drive your standing at the front door in your dressing gown, arms crossed—glasses on, looking all kinds of angry.

“Oh fuck she looks pissed—“ Dots groaning all the while Rooster is laughing.

“Hey you wanna be a rebel you gotta own up to the consequences of your own actions.”

“Please don’t tell her I’m high—“

“I’m not gonna tell her shit are you kidding me?” Rooster raises his eyebrows in utter disbelief. “Im not suicidal, you’re gonna tell her yourself.”

“Dad!” Dots pleading, begging Rooster to help her out. He thinks it’s hilarious, laughing as he watches you march down the three patio stairs.

“Oh so now it’s dad when you want a bodyguard huh?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**~

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87 @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse

#terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #bradleybradshaw #bradley x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw

[steddieas-shegoes]

thought of this last night and it made me giggle

"did you just fart?"

"no, it was Dustin."

"dude you can't blame him if he's not even here."

"sorry. habit."

This is funny if you put this far enough in the future that they don't even live in the same state as Dustin anymore so that's what I'm doing 😂

Casual nights in bed with each other were rare these days; Work schedules leaving them so exhausted that they barely had time to shower and get into bed before they were passed out.

But they shared one day off together every few weeks, and it usually meant getting chores done or running errands together, the domesticity of basically married life winning over fucking over every surface of their apartment.

Other things happen when you've been together for a while, things that you don't really think about until it happens and then you realize this is just how life is gonna be.

Eddie was focused on his guitar, writing down some chords for a song he'd been working on for two weeks. He was supposed to have it finished already, but he was struggling, and the producer who wanted it was riding his ass "in the not fun way" according to Eddie.

And then Steve caught just a smell.

"Did you just fart?"

"No, it was Dustin."

"You can't blame him if he's not even here."

Eddie looked up from his guitar and looked around the room, like he was just realizing he wasn't actually back in Hawkins surrounded by the kids who were all college graduates by now, spread out across the country.

"Oh. Sorry. Habit."

Steve rolled his eyes, filled with a fondness for the man who he'd marry if he could.

"Open a window at least."

"But it's coooooold."

"And this is the price you pay for letting it loose in our bedroom."

Eddie sighed but stood up, opened the window, and sat back down.

"How's the song coming?"

"It's not."

"Need me to leave?”

"Do I need my muse to leave while I write stupid love songs that make us money about him? No."

Steve blushed, and relaxed back into the bed, listening as Eddie finally finished the song.

Basically married life was perfect.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #headcanon

[strangerhottotties]

Ty's Kinktober | 11. Anonymous Sex with Eddie Munson

Summary:

Warnings: MINORS DNI +18, Seriously. Sex clubs, voyeurism, exhibitionism, drinking, inappropriate drug use, consensual sex, anonymous sex, Steve being awkward as hell, virgin!perv! Eddie because I love him.

A/N: I want to say thank you to my wonderful readers. I'm really trying to work on quality for you guys instead. I've pretty much just been doing nothing lately. I have no excuse besides the fact that sometimes you just gotta hibernate. In true GoblinGirl fashion, I was just kinda dancing around my dwelling and eating for like 2 months.

A reward for a great quarter and for Eddie graduating, Rick had called it. Eddie's turn in the upside down, and all the craziness that went with it had really increased his risky behavior and made for a great monetary motivator. Because despite his friend being a drug dealer, he still wanted the best for Eddie. He was the older brother that Eddie had never growing up. Rick wanted to mold him, churn him out as someone better than he'd ended up. Besides, Eddie was there to market to the high schoolers who wanted cheap weed.

Steve Harrington was crammed in the backseat, shifting uncomfortably. Every time Eddie looked back he had to hold in a cackle at just how terrified his friend looked. He'd cracked a couple nervous jokes about dealing drugs tonight. Eddie's reassurances to both of them lead to Rick shaking his head often.

Eddie spent the reast of the ride pestering Rick.

As Rick pulls into a parking lot filled to the brim with cars and trucks and other things, Eddie catches a glimpse of the building, people filing in. "Is this a strip club? You know we have those in Hawkins, right? We didn't have to drive all the way to Indianapolis just to see some tits." He chirps as a woman in a skimpy leather makes her way into the building. He could hear the thrumming of music from the building.

"This is better than a strip club. You gotta make a reservation to get into these places. This is the only one in the state."

"What is it?"

"Here," Rick chuckles, nudging Eddie. From his jacket pocket, he dragged out a thick roll of money. "This is for you both. Entrance fee is two hundred, if you want a room, it's another hundred for an hour. You got a grand here." Eddie's brows shoot into his hairline.

"Is this a brothel!?"

"What is this? The Middle Ages? No, man, this is a sex club. People show up to meet people and fuck. It's a good time. The only people they're paying in there are the bouncers and the bartender."

"I'm sorry did you just say sex club?" Steve baulks.

"Yeah, I did. Now, get your ass out of the car and have your I.D.'s handy."

"Hey, what if we see someone who we know." Rick passes Eddie a look. They tread on ahead and Eddie feels his belly roll with excitement at the idea that he might actually loose his virginity.

"Aren't you the Freak of Hawkins?" With an encouraging nudge, he leads on. Eddie feels his heart racing in a familiar way as they approach an awaiting bouncer. There is a crowd out the door. He follows the lead and glances at the rows of skimpy college girls and crowds of frat brothers in sheets made into Togas.

They pause at the front of the line where red ropes cart them off. A burley giant guard the door with a wicked mean sneer. "Please, look at these two." One kid at the front calls, looking like how Eddie expected Steve Harrington to turn out. Clean, pressed and swimming in nothing but Daddy's money.

"Rick. I'm gonna need some ID from those two." The bouncer grunts, giving the two runts behind him a doubious look as Rick gives him a pat to the shoulder.

"Were celebrating."

"Celebrating what? Bought a new trailer?" The kid in line chirps. Steve scoffs at him.

"Excellent quarterlies," Rick grins at the kid, looping his arm over both of their shoulders. Eddie gets the whiff of his cigarettes and cheap cologne. "And my best investor." The kid rolls his eyes at them As Rick starts to lead the two young men in by their shoulders.

"Vinny, do me a favor and don't let this kid chase any of the girls inside away."

"Just what I was thinking, Rick." Up goes the rope. Eddie grins at the guy as they pass into a dark red hallway.

"What! You can't be serious! You're letting white trash dictate whether or not you let me in! You're gonna regret-" The shut of the door seals off the rest of the entitled pricks words. Loud music replaces the sound of it. Eddie is appreciative of whatever guitarist was playing.

They approach a counter with two cashiers. Both assistaning people to start. "It's not about money in here. Just remember to wrap 'em up boys. From personal experience, gonorrhea is not fun." Rick tells them as they form a line to wait, and he hands them both a roll of condoms. Eddie is nudged by Steve, trying to see through the round window on the door. The throngs of people are bathed in the bright red light of a repurposed disco ball.

He follows Steve's eyes toward the rule board behind the Cashiers.

No minors.

No fetish shaming.

Clean up after yourself.

Always use a towel.

No outside food or drinks.

"I'm not gonna see some guy's dick, am I?" Eddie gives Steve a bewildered look.

"It's a sex club, of course you're going to see dicks."

"Eddie," Steve hisses.

"This is so fucking weird. I thought we were going drinking."

"Oh, they've got a bar." Rick replies like Steve was more worried about being able to get a beer, then he steps up to the register.

"Let's just get a drink, and if it's too weird than we can go." This has got to be at least a little cool if it's worth a two-hundred-dollar entrance fee." Steve narrows his eyes at him.

"I'm not gonna look at your dick." Eddie passes Steve a disturbed grimace as Steves words. "Wait, that came out wrong."

"Sure it did," Eddie chuckles and walks to the counter to pay. Steve mutters to himself in mortification. And watches a woman in a tiny black dress hang off of someone old enough to be his grandfather head up stairs on the opposite side of the room.

"What'll it be?"

"Uh, entrance?"

"First time?" The cashier grins at him. "What package would you like?" The cashier spreads a menu out in front of Eddie with a flourish of his hand. Steve approaches with interest. "It can be a little overwhelming at first, you know, a lot to take." Eddie watches as the cashier passes Steve a hot look once over. He pats Steve on the back with a chuckle. Steve shoots him a panicked look.

"What... what would you suggest for two... young... straight guys," Steve hints. The cashier gives him a lofty chuckle.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'm here all night. Our basic services include the bar, where you're welcome to order from our fabulous bartenders. I recommend Lindsey's Liquid Marijauna. It goes down smooth and packs a mean punch, while you look for a potential partner for tonight or simply watch the exhibition."

"Exhibition?" Steve asks. Eddie clears his throat.

"Probably people who liked to be... watched."

"Oh," Steve chimes while his spreading blush creeps down his neck. "Yeah, of course."

"That's the Classic package, but really, why stop there when you could sample the whole spread."

"There's more?" Steve chirps nervously.

"So much more," the cashier purrs. "The Gold package gives you all of that, an hour in one of our personal rooms, with a fully stocked mini bar, access to the buffetroom where you can choose what and where to eat, and the pool if you'd like to cool off, but I never recommend water as lube."

"That sounds kind of unsanitary."

"We pride ourselves on cleanly. The pool is also treated every night."

Eddie passes an impress look onto Steve. "Can I ask about the togas?"

"Yes, that's a very exciting event we're having tonight. If you want to you can purchase our VIP package and you can have access to go where you please, including Mount Olympus, it's the orgy room. There will be an excellent spread of fruit and wine before we name tonight's Love Goddess, Aphrodite. It'll be put to a vote. She wins our best suite in the house." The cashier holds up a brochure that showcases an expensive looking room, wall lined with every toy you could want. "And will be allowed to spend the night with whomever she chooses, and all of our ladies who have signed up for the competition have marked that they are single."

"Yeah, and how much extra is this VIP."

"Two hundred total for VIP access."

"You didn't think I'd lie to you, now, would you, Eddie?" Rick jokes, as he appears with a gold streak of paint down his left cheek.

"Never, man." Eddie slides the wad of cash out of his pocket and fishes out four hundred for the both of them."

"Would you like to reserve a room tonight? We have several rooms available for reservation."

"Let's see how the night goes," Rick interjects.

"Absolutely." The cashier chirps and then checks the twenties Eddie rolled out. With a satisfied smile, the cashier lifts his brush up, stroking it through gold paint. "Come forward my little Sex Club virgins!" Eddie steps forward with an awkward chuckle. A nervousness is sinking into his belly.

The paint is cold as a gold stripe is swiped down over his forehead, left eye and onto his cheek, stopping as it neared his mouth. When the cashier leans back, he moves to let Steve step up and the Cashier takes his time detailing a heart on his left eye in gold. "All set, go forth and prosper, boys."

Eddie feels his heart racing as Rick animatedly leads them out of the lobby and into the barroom. It's a club. The room thrums with life. The band is playing something dark and sexy. Edgy enough that Eddie doesn't completely mind the vibe. Above the bar he sees the exhibition. His heart leaps in his chest at the sight, like it was wrong. Despite him anticipating it, the sight of people actually fucking so publicly above the bar gave him a start.

The tits pressed to window as he watched a woman get railed buy a man dressed in a toga. Beside them was a man getting a blow job and the final room was empty for now. The bar was busy. The dance floor even more so, packed with people dancing to the live band playing in the corner.

"Let's get started with my last surprise of the night, at least as far as you're both concerned!" Rick shouts. He passes them each a little white pill. "Only one."

"What is this?" Steve shouts back.

"They call it Exstacy."

"What's it do?" Steve demands.

"What do you think it does?" It's at the bar he gives them a good luck and instead begins to trot after a blonde in a toga.

"He bailed quick."

"No kidding. I'm just surprised he didn't get a drink first."

"We definitely shouldn't take this, right?"

"Nah, he wouldn't give us anything crazy. Drink water with it and you'll be fine." Eddie waves down a stunning bartender with smokey eyes and cleavage. She rolls up.

"This is so crazy! What the fuck did we just pay four hundred dollars for!?"

"Dude, to get laid! Come on, you complain about all the sex you have and you can't handle a sex club?"

"That's in private! That dude is getting blown above the bar!"

"What can I get you virgins to drink!" Steve gasps in offense at her playful grin.

"Two beers. Whatever cheap shit you got."

With a quick lean below the counter, she withdrawals two cans of P.B.R. and sets them down in front of the two. "Someone as Vanilla as you, this is a cruel joke from your friends I guess. Stick out at the bar, Rick will be a while."

"Vanilla? I am not vanilla." She snorts at him.

"Sure," she hums leaning onto the counter with a flirtatious undertone that Eddie picks up on. He rolls his eyes and is gratefully distracted by someone pushing her way around him. She has to brush up against Eddie to get to the bartender. She weasles around him so quickly that she's essentially pinned against the counter and him. He's about to bitch at her because someone is now bumping against his front and back and Steve's climbing onto the open stool, but then he gets a waft of her perfume and decides it's not so bad. He can't see her face, but he gets an excellent view of the stunning curls that are piled on top of her head.

"Lindsey, please, I need a drink."

"You're supposed to be getting ready for the competition!" The bartender scolds but reaches for a glass. She fills it as the girl who Eddie isn't minding.

"Yes, hurry, they're herding us into the orgy room." The girl blinks and shakes her head. "Fuck, I can't believe that actually came out of my mouth."

"You're the one who wanted to show Jean up with your costume."

"IT'S AUTHENTIC!" The bartend laughs and passes her a drink that's blue and most definitely almost straight alcohol.

"Yeah, yeah. Now run for this month's rent!" The girl twists around with her drink and finds Eddie. He's nearly knocked flat at her and finds that he goes mute for once, only offering her a his most charming smile. She sucks in a breath, he sees it in the way that her chest expands. And he doesn't miss the gold paint that is like big winged liner or the gold lips she's sporting.

She tries to lean to go around and he leans with her by accident. Or maybe subconsciously he wants her to stay. She's pretty. And soft. And not wearing a bra. He'd like to fuck them, certainly. "Uhh, excuse me?" She tries awkwardly.

Eddie immediately feels his chest tighten at the girl who was... cute. Very cute.

Steve smacks Eddie's shoulder. "Dude, you have to actually talk to a girl you know."

"I fuckin' know that, asshole." Eddie snaps back. The girl's eyes widen, and she passes an anxious look back at the bartender.

"Uh, it's pretty packed in here and I've got to get to the orgy room!"

"Do you want some help to get there?" Eddie offers. She blinks at him in surprise.

"No thanks," with that she slips right past him.

"She a friend of yours?" He chirps. The bartender smiles a chesire cat smile.

"Yeah, she's not as intimidating as she tries to be. Give it another shot. You're just her type."

"Devilish?"

"Sure, whatever you wanna call it. A suggestion: ask about her dress." Steve doesn't hide his grin. Eddie watches the way the lights make her dress glow all the way across the room. He decides that he's up for a challenge tonight. And he'd really like to fuck her.

....

Eddie doesn't stick around Steve who is hitting on the bartender relentlessly. She's laughing at his jokes at the very least. He explores slowly, finding Rick locking lips with a babe in the pool room. His clothes are soaked through, and the woman is working on unbuttoning his shirt. Eddie tries not to stare and lets his eyes pass the people sloshing through the pool with a game of volleyball. That didn't particularly appeal to him, so he moved on. The buffet was something new.

There was an actual buffet with a steaming spread that actually smelled really good. Some people were eating, and they were also watching couple eating things off each other, feeding each other.

He found the entrance to the Exhibit. And than he came to the gated off section. The Orgy Room was guarded by a bouncer. Only people with gold paint on their faces being allowed through. VIP access, he realizes. He throws back the MDMA, washed down with his beer before he even approaches the room.

The interior is decorated with the sheets and shimmery drapery. There are couches and ornate furnishings. Cushions and hookah, the room smokey and thick around the pond that was the centerpiece. Or it felt like one. The fountain already had people gathering.

The contestants were lining up on the stage at the far end. He grinned when he spotted the girl from before, sipping on her drink at the back of the line.

He found that he wanted to make her face lose that sour expression, wondering what she might look like when she was laughing... and then he wondered what her face would look like after she came. He's imagining her hair sweety and messy - falling out of the careful hairstyle she had. Face flushed and sweaty.

This room drew him in more as he moved slowly though the gathering people. Some of them already celebrating the festivities. She spots him halfway through the room. His eyes are on her. She straightens her shoulders up and tilts her head at him. Still, he approaches, holding her gaze until he stops a few feet from her.

He doesn't actually know her, so he can't be biased, but he thinks she's going to win. "Hi," she replies, not having to shout in here. Although her voice is stern, it's not tight enough to be completely dismissive. "Did you follow me in here?"

"What's authentic?"

"Excuse me?" She asks in confusion.

"At the bar. You said 'It's authentic'."

"Oh... my attire," she offers nervously. She glances down at herself.

"Are you saying it's historically acurate?" She seems to light up as she realizes he's actually asking about an interest.

"Yes, this is a chiton, it's the bottom layer. The upper class wore more dyed fabrics cause they were more expensive. At least until the forth century. That was around the time that the Greeks and Romans started to sew." Eddie find himself smiling down at the excited explanation she gave him.

"It looks really good. Did you make it yourself?"

"Yes! I even hand stitched the embroidery!" Eddie grins at that.

"Really? Can I take a closer look?" He asks. She opens her mouth but is cut off when they announce for everyone to find a seat because the competition is about to begin.

"Shit," she curses.

"Do you want to talk about it more after?" Eddie offers. Her eyes light up at that.

"Oh, you're really trying to get your dick sucked." His eyes widen at her bluntness, but her grin tells him she might not just be joking. "Deal. I want a sofa though!" He grins with red cheeks before he nods once and glances around. There's one close to the side of the stage that he quickly claims. He doesn't miss the stack of black towels nearby, he reaches for the hookah as the girls prep to walk on stage.

They're introduced as the Greek Muses. Eddie catches a glimpse of the fruit that's presented in a bowl. He snatches the grapes as the bowl to munch on as the night starts up. They introduce her as Clio, the Muse of history. He wonders if she chose that herself. She takes the crowd with statuesque pose. Eddie grin when she looks genuinely surprised that she got first place. She gets presented with a scroll of some kind, a basket of things Eddie couldn't see, and a voucher for the best suite in the building for the entire night.

The other women leave the stage as she's lead up to the chase that's decked out with an extravaganza of everything Greek. "Let's let our Aphrodite take her choice of Lover." Eddie's ear perks up when he catches that particular line. The woman's eye's find his immediately. Then she points and Eddie's got to drop his grapes to follow her up on stage. He feels hopeful when she

"Congratulations," he greets as she sets her things on a table. He sits himself on the end of the chaise lounger and watches her make herself comfortable.

"Ha, thanks, I just wanted to place higher than Danica."

"Who?" He asks.

"The red head. She's in my Latin class, she was bragging about winning last month's nurse contest and that she would win the Aphrodite contest. We argued, I said she should be authentic and she laughed at me for it. Besides, Lindsey said it was gonna be in the orgy room and I thought it was an excellent way to study something first hand that the Greeks actually did!.... And I really wanted to beat Danica."

"You want to study orgies, Clio?" Her ears perk up at that and she grins.

"I'm a history major, with a minor in Greek studies."

"Smart and beautiful is a dangerous combination," he offers. She snorts at that and snatches up a towel. "Towel?"

"I don't want to sit bareass on that couch," she replies casually as she shakes out the towel and drapes it right next to Eddie. "Did you get the hookah started?"

"Yeah, here." He offers her the pen, he feels confident enough to ask her a more risqué question. "So does that mean you're not wearing any underwear?" She glances at him as she straddles the chaise he'd chosen.

She hits the hookah with a grin. "Do you play a game?" Eddie realize she's correct very quickly as her skirt billows just slightly. Eddie finds himself laughing softly. There was an intimacy that came from this. Genuine. Any doubt in his mind that he wants to fuck her all night is far from his mind.

"I like games," he breathes. She was leading him like a horse. He was eating out of the palm of her hand eagerly.

"No lies. No names." He considers it out.

"Not even first names?" She draws another hit as he asks.

"No, for tonight only, let's act like lovers. Passionate and unhinged and we'll never see each other again. A perfect night for only us. No holding back. A genuine connection that ends in the morning." Eddie smiles and leans forward to hit the pen between them.

When he sits back, he blows sweet smoke across her.

"Anything for Aphrodite," Eddie affirms. She grins a dazzling smile at him and then eagerly leans closer. She captures his face, studying it with an open affection that makes his heart race in his chest. And then he takes initiative. Her mouth tastes sweet and coconuty. Thankfully, he'd had experience in this regard, when Kathy Higgins had made out with him to get free weed.

He liked when she gasped into his mouth under the full, eager kisses he was giving her. Her hands funnel into his hair. A groan shudders out of him without his control when she tugs it. He could kiss her for ages. The first taste of her already hardening his cock in his pants.

"Did you know the Greeks used olive oil as lube?" She manages to murmur against his mouth.

"And they wrestled naked with it, right?" He gasps back. He can feel her smile against his mouth her tongue flicking out against his open mouth.

"Mhmm." Eddie breaks away from her panting.

"Can I touch you?" Her cheeks are pinking in the same way his are. He sees how dilated her eyes are and decides that she likes what he's doing.

Her hands drop to his and the next thing he knows, his palms are filled with the soft and heavy mass of her breasts. Her nipples were hard, he could feel.

"Holy shit," he breathes out as he focus on one of his favorite parts of a woman's body. "I have to tell you something," he hums as she encourages him to squeeze.

"Yes, Lover?" She hums.

"Don't be surprise if my first round is quick," he rumbles.

"Been a while?" She hums playfully, diving in to mouth at his neck. He shudders under the heat of her mouth and the nipping of her teeth.

"I'm a virgin."

Eddie grunts as a hand snaps over his mouth. She glances around them. "Careful," she urges. "You say that and they'll swarm you." She pauses to regard him for a moment, a stern look on her face like she was trying to think too hard. "How experienced?" She whispers before peeling her hand back.

He shakes her head at him. "Kissing." He expression is still bewildered. "Are you okay with that?" Please be okay with that. Please be okay with that. Please be okay with that.

"Yeah. If I'm going to far... just say so."

"My safeword is bat."

"Bat?"

"Yeah, is there anything uncomfortable for you?"

"I'll let you know." He grins and leans up to kiss her jaw, his mouth is sloppy but she doesn't seem to mind. He experimentally drags his teeth over her neck and is rewarded with a fierce shiver.

"Defintely don't mind the teeth," she sighs out and he's chasing her as she leans back. Eddie follows her until she's pressed below him into the fabric.

"Can I eat your pussy?" He asks, feeling hopeful.

"Not yet," she hums. "Gotta work your way up to it."

"Patience."

"You said passion earlier," he taunts back, words muffled by her collar bone. But he used that to turn around and go back to her mouth.

"Don't push," she hums, "Pull me closer instead." A rising disappointment in his throat snaps into white hot arousal. She pulls him by Steve's shirt down on top of her and he can feel the heat of her cunt against his own arousal. He gives her a shaky sigh before grabbing a handful of her thigh and drives his hips into hers.

She gives him a low moan and his pride soars. He rocks back against her when she arches into him. In just a few moments there is a building between them.

His hands reach across her thighs, sprawling as widely as he could so he could feel as much as he could. His hand feels the curve of her ass as he sinks his fingers deep. He uses it as leverage as he ruts against her. Her mouth is eager against him. "Let me taste you," he groans. "Please."

She pants below him, eyes far away.

"You want to eat it that bad?"

"Yeah," he answers lamely. She rolls her eyes at him.

"Fine," she sighs. Eddie slides off part of the couch so he can kneel before her spread legs. He can smell her and is shocked by the deep arousal it rises in him. He always did have a gross fascination with pussy. He starts with kissing her thighs, that was always something girls cooed over in the PG-13 scenes that they loved so much.

It works though, he decides as she spreads wider for him.

First taste is fantastic. It's briney and filthy. The flavor fades on his tongue the more he laps at her, parting her lower lips to lave his tongue through the dewy residue she was creating. He sinks his tongue harshly into her cunt and she arches completely off the chase.

"You can use some of the food, too." She pants.

"Please touch my clit," she begs softly. His eyes snap to hers, unable to deny her. Especially when her voice was so tempting. "Show me," he groans. She sends him a desperate look and then slips her fingers down between her folds to do as she's told. He sees it, all red and inflamed. His mouth was on it before she could say anything. Then she's arching completely off the chaise.

Between her legs, his head shakes rapidly back and forth. She sucks a harsh breath in, he pushes her thighs further apart to lick as deeply into her as he can for a little more. She gasps when he sinks both of his thumbs into the hot little hole he had been so focused on. He parts her in hopes of tasting just a little more.

She's crying out under the changing assults he was testing against her. Loud whimpers when he discovered that he could push the hood back on her clit. He loved everything about this, he discovers. The taste, the smell, the feel and sight were all grounding him to this. She was getting loud as he slurped his mouth across hers. "Oh, baby," she cries out finally, in a hoarse whisper. "Oh, baby, please, just a... just a little more."

She was close. He paused only to gain leverage, hoisting her thighs higher and spreading her wide to drive firm licks to her clit directly. Hands jerk the hair at his scalp and he groans against her. She was rocking onto his tongue as he watched. He couldn't help it, her chest was heaving, breathing shallow and desperate. Little moans filtering into it. "Oh, fuck, please, please, I'm so close, please!"

His heart spasmed in his chest as she shot him a fierce look, one with big eyes and flushed cheeks. Lips parted. So while maintaining eye contact, he sucks hard. Her eyes lead the arch back, rolling into the back of her head as she arches off the chaise. She's so fucking loud it nearly hurts his ears, until she clamps her quaking thighs around them. His tongue finds where she's leaking, just so he can taste it again.

Until she pulls at his head, dragging his face out. "No- no more," she whimpers with glassy eyes and a wobbling lip.

"Just one more taste?" He pleads with her. She gives him the most pathetic look.

"Want... want to..." she glances between them at the bulge he's sporting.

"You want to fuck?" He questions. The smile she gives him is sinful as she nods.

"Do you want to fuck me?" She asks, he reaches up to cradle her face.

"More than I need air to breathe."

"Here or the room?" Eddie bites his lip.

"The room."

The room was nicer than he'd ever been in. There were toys that lined the walls but he could barely focus on anything other than keeping her mouth sealed against his.

Together they fall onto red sheets and he hikes her thigh up onto his as he grinds his cock into her. She's squirming below him, still sensitive from his attention downstairs.

"Pants," she grunts. He eagerly shucks them down, sighing in relief when he's no longer being crushed by denim. "Hey," she hums and he leans back to evaluate her. "Is it really your first time?"

"Yeah," he offers her and she bites her lip with a hesitation he's not sure he's reading right. "If you don't want to I under-"

"You don't have to use a condom, unless you want to." His brows raise and then he's just dragging Steve's shirt off him.

"You sure?"

"Mhmm, want you to feel it. Really feel it." Eddie groans as she grinds the wet folds of her cunt over his.

"Fuck, now?" She nods with a gentle smile and he slides his cock forward until it notches on something. Then there is resistance, just enough for him. "O-ooh, fuck. Fuck. Oh, fuck, you feel good." She whines as he splits her apart slowly. He sinks to the hilt with little effort. "You feel good. So good. Fucking Goddess."

She moans below him as he draws back, just to sink into the end of her. He's already close. He can feel it. Coming with a low groan and a stuttering of his hips. She holds him to her chest stroking over his hair. It's quiet for a moment, and then his hips begin sawing back into you slowly.

He's still so hard, dragging his cock through his own spend just to watch it spill out around him. You're so expressive, he can't help but study your face while he stares. Neither of you are blinking.

"You came a lot," you murmur through your eyelashes.

"I'm not done, yet," he replies. His hands grasp at your hips before he really starts to kick it up his pace.

"UH!" You cry out, "Shit, you're big! Oh shit! Oh fuck!"

"That's it! Louder," he orders. He watches you hook your hands behind your thighs and draw your knees up by your shoulders. His hands slide over your ass to take the place of yours, pinning you more effectively as he begins to snap his hips into yours, moaning at how tight it makes your cunt.

"My pussy's so wet! Oh God! Baby! Never stop! Oh please, oh please, oh pleaseeeee! Uhh!" He felt you tightening as the obscene noises fill the room.

"You gonna cum, princess?" Your eyes snap to his and he feels the fluttering of your cunt.

"Hard," you gasp out. "Fuck me hard, please! Wanna cum on your cock! Oh gooooooood!" You scream, a heavy sob shuttering out as you tighten impossibly around him. He can't hold out through it. Your moaning and trembling are enough to have him cumming. He groans as he watches more thick spend spill out around his cock, still imbedded deep in your pussy.

"Jesus," he breathes out. You let out a shakey laugh that shoves his cock from your cunt in the prettiest of ways. "Fuuuck."

"Got another fuck in you?" You whine with a neediness that has Eddie chuckling darkly.

"Oh, honey," he hums. "Give me five minutes and you'll regret asking that." He drops down to mouth at your neck. It's vicious.

"Wanna leave sore," you pant underneath his next assalt.

"I'm going to be insatiable for you, just you wait, baby."

#tys kinktober masterlist #kinktober 2022 #kinktober #day 11 #eddie munson smut #eddie x reader #eddie imagine #eddie #eddie munson #stranger things season 4 #hellfire stranger things #stranger things four #strangerthings #sex club

[daydadahlias]

i want to hear the glee thoughts and feelings

ok ur so gonna regret u asked this

So, I watched glee way back when in middle school (before I knew what a lot of the words they said meant <3 I remember watching the first time episode and having no fucking idea what was going on <3) and I really loved it!! who doesn't love a jam yknow?? and, obviously, i attached myself to Blaine very quickly because his voice is just my favorite and he puts out nothing but bangers. this last week, I've gone back and rewatched seasons 2 and 3 (because that was peak Blaine Anderson) and - because I'm the world's most needlessly passionate person - I'm getting a little fucking worked up about it !!

It will never fail to bewilder me how much of a literal SHIT HEAD Kurt Hummel was. Like, I know that we as audience members are supposed to align ourselves with him because he's an OG character and he's a queer kid just trying to be himself or whatever, but frankly it doesn't pay that much to "just be yourself" when yourself SUCKS! kurt fucking SUCKS dude. He is so whiney and so selfish and blatantly rude. and he is a shitty ass boyfriend to Blaine!

this is also rooted in my absolute maniacal frustration that Blaine never gets to be a character of his own. His character is always (throughout the entirety of the show) written within the context of Kurt and Klaine. It's very much Ken and Barbie-esque with the whole "Ken only has a good day when Barbie looks at him." Like we never get to know anything about Blaine's personal life except for ?? a throwaway line that his dad (who we never meet) is homophobic? and also that he was gay bashed when he was 15. And, just to bitch about that, it will never not piss me off to insane lengths that Kurt wanted to go to prom so he made Blaine go with him even though Blaine was blatantly triggered by it. The literal dialogue exchange in the episode (S2E20) is Blaine detailing this very traumatic experience and saying "this is just a bit of a sore spot for me" and Kurt replies "this is perfect." LIKE WHAT?? WHATTTT?? what do you mean it's PERFECT?? your boyfriend is clearly uncomfortable and triggered by this!! do not make this man go to prom with you!! And then, in that same episode, Kurt very blatantly outs Blaine's secret trauma to his family without any fucking care whatsoever for what Blaine actually went through (which is crazy considering Kurt was bullied too and should have some goddamn sympathy for the situation??). and look at my boy!! he's CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE!! does Kurt give a fuck?? no he does not! and he literally never apologizes for this!!

gif credit (love this set and creator btw)

This is after they're dating and there are MANY more instances when they're dating that Kurt blatantly bulldozed over Blaine's boundaries with reckless fucking abandon. And any single time they ever get into an argument, Blaine has to be the one to apologize to KURT? like even when Kurt is the one who cheats on him in Season 3?? Blaine has to apologize to him for being insecure?? Or in Season 5 when Blaine is experiencing a lot of insecurity (which was also a crazy arc considering how attractive his actor, Darren, is?? and I always loathe when shows add unnecessary fatphobia plotlines for literal skinny characters but that's a different tangent) and he told Kurt and Kurt's response was quite literally "I'm not going to apologize for being better than you." Like that's a fucking insane thing to say to your boyfriend who is standing in your kitchen crying, saying he's scared you're "going to wake up one day and realize [you] don't love him anymore" (S5E16). AND THEN?? IN AN EVEN MORE INSANE TURN OF EVENTS?? literally a handful of episodes later that's EXACTLY what happens!! Just out of the blue, Kurt decides he doesn't love Blaine anymore and breaks up with him?? Which was an absurd plotline?? (as most plotlines from season 4 and on are).

I'm also just going to add that Ryan Murphy does not know Blaine Anderson like I do, clearly, because there is nothing at all in his character that insinuates he'd be a cheater especially considering his ENTIRE PERSONALITY REVOLVES AROUND KURT. which is some fucking lazy ass writing, I'm just gonna say.

Also, further defending Blaine and calling Kurt out for being a SHITHEAD! there's that whole episode "Blame it on the Alchohol" where Blaine and Kurt go over to Rachel's house for a party and Blaine gets literally blackout drunk and kisses Rachel during a spin the bottle game. Immediately, the fact that Kurt gets so upset over them kissing says a lot about how self-involved and psychotically jealous he is (considering he and Blaine were NOT together at this point and Blaine had literally actively said he did not want to be in a relationship with Kurt).

And then this will also always bother me?? Blaine was blackout?? So Kurt drove him home?? and let Blaine sleep in his bed??? with him??? which, based on the way Kurt was acting and how possessive he always was over Blaine, this was Weird. Like if you can drive your drunk friend somewhere, why aren't you driving them back to their OWN home?? especially when Blaine wakes up in the episode (looking very cute, I will say) and his immediate reaction is "Where am I?" Like that's fucked up???? And then, later, in the same episode, Blaine says he thinks he might be bi and Kurt goes off his fucking ROCKER. and is so blatantly biphobic !! and it's gross !! and the only reason he is is because he wants Blaine to himself even though Blaine literally said he wasn't interested!!!

including gifs of drunk!blaine bc he's cute <3

And to talk down to your supposed best friend?? And act like you know him better than he knows himself?? yeah it was fucked up and biphobia is never cute. and, also, all Kurt ever did was pretty much blatantly pressure Blaine into dating him?? Like he was constantly all over him and then, the second they got together, the writers were like "ok and now blaine's only personality trait is loving Kurt." Which never made any sense to me considering that Kurt is constantly talking down to him? He constantly (multiple times in multiple episodes) complains about how talented Blaine is. Which is just not something you fucking do to someone you supposedly love and respect??

Before they were even dating, Kurt complained to Blaine that he "always has solos" and "right now, it feels like we're Blaine and the pips" and also a very underhanded comment about how "I know we're all supposed to be do-whopping behind Blaine while he sings every Katy Perry song" (S2E16). All of these things are just blatantly belittling? Also, tea time, but Kurt's ass was not fucking talented enough to be making bold ass claims about how he should be singing lead vocals.

Once they're dating, Blaine and Kurt both try out for the musical. When Kurt finds out that Blaine is trying for the lead, he immediately becomes standoffish and Blaine clearly panics, making a comment about how seniors should get the leads, not juniors. And Kurt goes "yeah that's usually how it works!" So then Blaine completely fucking forfeits the part! He auditions for a side role so that Kurt can get it and Kurt won't see him as a "threat" but then, because Blaine is so fucking good (and better than Kurt cough cough), he gets cast and Kurt is fucking pissed about it !!! (S3E02).

Once they are dating, Kurt literally cheats on Blaine, then claims that it's "okay" because it's "just texting" and, when Blaine says he's hurt, Kurt calls him crazy?? (S3E17) He never once apologizes to Blaine for what he did, only saying "I'm sorry if this upsets you but it's okay" which is not a fucking apology!! And Blaine ends up being the one apologizing to Kurt at the end of the episode, saying that he's insecure!! But Kurt does about fuck all to actually care for him!! And, during that scene, he says "Do you know how many times I've had to sit on a stool and watch you perform?" Like how fucking shitty is that to say to someone you love? Literally All Kurt does the entire series is make Blaine feel bad about how good he is??

there's a lot of other moments where Kurt is really just blatantly fucking mean to Blaine but I'm going to stop there because this is getting <3 really long <3 and I'm going to take a deep breath.

ANYWAY CONTINUING ON!

Blaine literally transferred schools to be with Kurt because Kurt pressured him into it?? Like there were literally scenes where Kurt was like "you should change schools" and Blaine went "aww no I don't wanna :(" and then Kurt continued to pressure him into it?? it's not something he ever should have even proposed in the first place?? But then when Blaine actually did transfer - and made it blatantly clear to Kurt that he did it for him - all of a sudden Kurt was like "aw noo u shouldn't have done this for lil ol mee!" (S3E01). Which was some BULLSHIT! but i am gonna include a gif of new kid blaine because look at this fucking cutie !!!

gif credit (i luv u klainegifs)

ok so, after Kurt pressures Blaine into going to his school and all of Kurt's friends are blatantly fucking mEAN to Blaine (despite him being the most talented member of the club cough cough), there's the scene where they all go to prom. Now this one.... oh this one makes me mad. And this makes me mad because it's just clearly rooted in the outright racism of Glee. And here's the reasons I'm mad:

Darren Criss (Blaine's actor) is Asian-American but Glee pretends like Blaine Anderson is a white character.

A fun fact for you about Glee is that Darren Criss auditioned for Glee's first season with his natural hair (big, fluffy, curly, beautiful) and he did not get a part. However, he auditioned again for the second season with his hair short and gelled back and he did get the part. Notice anything fucking weird about that???? he was just as fucking talented with the curly hair !!

Glee gels Blaine's hair so fucking much in later seasons that he literally develops helmet head. Look at the difference between season 2 and season 6:

LOOK AT HIS FLAT ASS HEAD !! ITS LIKE THEY PAINTED HIS FUCKING HAIR ON !!! RELEASE HIS CURLS RIGHT THIS INSTANCE!!!!!!!!!!

4. There was one episode (a different prom episode in season 3) where they did release the curls. and they pretended like my boy was UGLY!?! LOOK AT HIM

he's literally precious. But also, the producers of Glee went out of their way to try and make his curls look bad?? like they purposefully tried to give him bad hair?? and make fun of his natural curls?? and this was kurt's actual fucking reaction to seeing his boyfriend's natural hair for the first time:

he says "oh my dear god" in horror. like kurt literally go fuck yourself. Everyone is so fucking mean to Blaine when he ungels his hair!! and it's because they're RACIST!!!! name one curly-haired character in Glee. I'll wait.

I never liked Kurt but him reacting so cruelly to blaine's natural hair (and then Blaine never ungelling his hair again) is one of my biggest problems with him.

in conclusion, I will never fucking forgive the way that Glee treated Blaine. My beautiful baby boy and his bowties deserved better.

the end.

#pigeon #anon #you shouldnt have asked bro #anyway <3 that's my jessay of the day <3 #it's 12:30 i should sleep #goodnight! #also blaine was and will always be the best singer the show ever had #so it was a fucking waste to not give him his own plot lines outside of kurt !!! #ryan murphy give me ur show right now i need to fix this.

[quinnfabrcys]

he loved her, he loved her, he loved her. she was a like breath of fresh air, he told her, she made him feel normal. where have you been all my life, quinn fabray? carter loveless. as in jane austen's if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. but all men do is lie. and let their mothers treat their supposed love of their lives like shit. let it be known, quinn fabray is a certified feminist. but celia loveless is a certified cunt. the older woman who hired a private investigator to look into her son's girlfriend and decided to throw it back into her face, use it to embarrass her. did you know quinn was a teen mom? oh, yeah. then she just gave up the poor thing. couldn't even take responsibility. we don't have to worry about you giving up a future grandchild, do we? and that stupid rich person laugh. followed by her daughter's stupid laugh. now she wanted to jump over the table and in her best friend's words go all lima heights on her ass, that's what santana would've done. carter immediately moved the knife on her plate out of sight. as if he knew. "mom —," "you know, celia, we have a lot of common. i didn't raise my kid, you definitely didn't raise your kids, so i don't think you should be giving anyone parenting advice, you cunt," how dare you. where do you get off talking to me like that? "oh, are you upset? you have so much botox and fillers i couldn't tell," her attention moving to his sister right after, "and they had to pay half a million dollars to get you into usc because they thought you were too stupid to get in on your own and they were right!"

"you called my mom a cunt, my sister stupid, quinn, and you don't see anything wrong with that?" the man ran his hands over his face because of course this was so stressful for him. "i'm sorry, were you there when beth was brought into it? how it was so funny that a sixteen year old girl gave her baby up for adoption? i had to defend myself because you sure as hell weren't gonna do it. she did it to embarrass me, carter," the blonde immediately shot back. ""babe, she didn't mean it, that's just how she is sometimes. okay? i just think if you apologized first and were the bigger person —," and in that moment she understood why so many women snapped and killed their boyfriends and husbands because jesus christ. men were the worst. santana was always telling her to get a girlfriend for a reason. "not only am i not apologizing to leather face and her dumb ass daughter, i would never have children with fucking a pussy ass momma's boy, carter," santana lopez would be proud. she'd be even prouder if her best friend let her beat his ass, but that wasn't really an option at the moment.

dainty gold ring cladded hands ran over the yale university diplomas in their respective frames. two degrees in social work. lima, lima, lima. she put six hundred and seventy miles between her and lima when she went to new haven. then it was eight hundred when she moved to boston. lima, ohio. typical middle america. she tells people she's from columbus when they ask. well, it's close enough, because people from big cities would rarely know where a little town in the middle of ohio is. the town that she so badly wanted to escape once upon a time. she no longer thinks of her hometown like that. something to run from. instead it's something that welcomes her home no matter what's going on in her life. and right now she needed to be home. so there she was. in what once was the office of emma pillsbury, making it her own little piece of mckinley. maybe it's true what they say, that one way or another, you'll always find your way back home.

william mckinley was like a time warp. and finn hudson was everywhere. ten years felt like just yesterday and a million years ago all the same time. her chest hurt so bad the last time she was here as if it often did. the past summer. her friends always keeping their promises. by now, most of them were married or had kids. yet, quinn was content with being aunt quinn, aunt q, or 'inn, for the littlest ones. her baby was thirteen and she still remembered how much that shit hurt, so she was fine, thank very much. by now, all the students who ever knew finn hudson had graduated and moved on. to current students, he was solely the name on the auditorium. time was such a weird thing. with the sound of footsteps coming closer and pulling her out of her thoughts, the blonde turned around to see who it was. a smile immediately etching on her lips, sam evans. a magnificent duet partner, an even more amazing person. maybe the one that got away. "hi, sam," she spoke up, green eyes settling onto his blue ones. "you think this school's big enough for the both of us?"

#and if my wishes came true it would've been you.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1077: Bartending with Uncle Rodin (Persona 5 x Bayonetta x SSBU)

2:34 p.m. at the Gates of Hell Bar.......

Ren: (Standing Behind the Bar With a Confident Smirk on his Face) Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to my first and lastest creation....(Presents Two Small Glasses of Red Colored Drinks) Passionate Crimson Flaré~

Enzo: (Amazed at the Drink In Front of Him) Ooooooooh.....

Rodin: (Crosses his Arms as He Examines his Drink Closer) The name could use a little more work. But the drink itself does look promising. I wonder.....

Enzo and Rodin takes a sip of their respective drinks. It wasn't long for the duo to take a liking to them in question.

Enzo: (Turns to His Boss Next to Him) Holy shit, Boss. This creation of his taste fucking phenomenal!

Rodin: Wouldn't go that far. (Begins to Nod as his Taste Buds Starts Kicking in a Bit) ('Mm') But this is pretty delectable. (Turns to Ren in Front of Him) Not bad, kid.

Ren: (Smiles Proudly) Thanks! I wasn't kidding when I said this was my first time creating something like this, but I'm really glad the Bardtending Class is paying off somewhat.

Rodin: That's good and all, but what exactly makes you wanna take up this job in the first place?

Enzo: Yeah, not that we don't want ya here obviously, but you seem like the kinda fellow who would be more interested in the undercover business if anything.

Ren: Funny you mentioned that tidbit. I was planning on becoming one at one point, but I thought about all the times the legal system screwed me over in the past. So I decided not to go through with it in the end. 'Sure Makoto can do a better undercover agent than I ever could anyways.

Enzo: (Raised an Eyebrow in Confusion) Makoto who now?

Ren: Makoto Niijima. (Puts on a Cheeky Grin on his Face) My one and only Queen~ (Shows his Uncles a Picture of him and his Girlfriend Together on his Phone) We started dating back in high school and been a romantic team ever since.

Enzo: (Starts Holding his Chin and Nodding With a Grin of his Own) Aha!~ That girl looks like a real keeper, I'll tell ya what.

Rodin: She must be if you call her Queen.

Ren: ('Sighs Dreamingly') Oh you have no idea.....She's smart, resourceful, always does her best to lookout for others, and can definitely kick my ass anyday of the week~

Enzo: (Let's Out Heartdy Laugh) Hahaaa!~ Girl who can kick your ass, huh? I never expected any less from one of my nephews!~

Rodin: (Rolls his Eyes) They're OUR nephews, moron. And of course you would be into that dominance shit. Your own wife been kicking your fatass since the day you first met her.

Enzo: (Shrugs Casually) True. I may be the resident punching bag in the relationship, but it's still leagues better than being coped up in a bar all day and night being single, bald, and moody-(Quickly Notice his Boss Glaring at Him Before Sweating Bullets) I-I don't mean you, of course, boss! I mean, you're bald too, b-b-but like in a more sophisticated way in, ya know? A-And who could ever resist a bald man owning a bar, am i right? (Chuckles Very Awkwardly)

'Silence'

Enzo: (Clicks his Tongue Briefly) You know, I JUST remembered....I had an assignment or two I had get done by the end if the day, you know the one with mafia business and whatnot? (Slowly Starts Getting Up From his Table and Points at the Door Far Behind him) Yeah, I should....go out there and get my lazy-ass started already. (Turns Back to Ren With a Smile as He Gives him a Handshake) But hey! It was nice to finally have the opportunity to meet you, Renny Boy. I don't know why your mothers didn't introduce you to us sooner, but that's neither here nor there. Stay safe and try not to work your ass off to death, alright? Business here been going slow here for God knows how long and I doubt the boss man is gonna do anything to make more interesti-

Enzo turns back to see Rodin still glaring at him.

Enzo: I-I'mma gonna....head out now.....(Starts Walking Backwards Before Turning Around and Sprinting his Way Towards the Exit)

Ren: (Waves Goodbye to Enzo) It was nice to meet you. Uncle Enzo!

Rodin: Try not to trip your ass on the way out!

Enzo: (Turbs Back to the Duo on a Far Enough) Huh? WoahwoahwoahWOAH!-

The loud sound of trash cans falling and cats yelling cam be heard as Enzo trips outside.

Enzo: ('Groans in the Distance') Ah gee....What a fucking start to the day......

Ren: Hm. (Starts Nodding Before Smiling a Bit) He seems pretty cool.

Rodin: Who? Enzo? ('Tch') Please. (Takes a Cigar From Out his Coat Pocket and Uses his Finger to Light It Up) That fool's more of constant headache if anything....(Starts Smoking From his Cigar Before Exhaling it With a Sigh) But I'm glad you're taking a liking to us at least. You seem like a nice kid, or rather young adult.

Ren: Thanks. I'm glad I have opportunity to meet you two as I am happy to be here. I'll do everything I can not to get in your all that much.

Rodin: I wouldn't worry too much about that if I were you. Just keep doing what you've been doing and everything can go smoothly from there. (Points at Ren) Also, don't get too experimental on the drink, ya hear? Their bitter taste is a whole lot stronger than it looks and I don't wanna deal spent an hour or two trying get these drunk fucks out of my bar.

Ren: (Simply Nodded at the Request) Right.

A few minutes has passed by and there wasn't any customers insight, which for Rodin, is a blessing in most disguised figure. As Ren finishing up cleaning the used glasses for today, a thought suddenly occurred in his mind as he speaks.

Ren: Hey, Uncle Rodin, can I ask you something?

Rodin: (Looks Up at Ren With a Magazine in his Habd) Yeah, shoot.

Ren: I....know this might not be my business or anything, but.....Is it true that you and our goddess mom had bad history with one another at one point?

Rodin: Me & Palutena? (Sighs Heavily at the Particular Memory) Yeah.......something like that. I mean, I'm indifferent towards her nowadays, but she still despise me with every fiber in her flesh abd bones.

Ren: Really.

Rodin: Damn right. And it all started wayyy back when I was just your average, run of a mill Angel. (Let's Out a Chuckle) Well, actually, I wouldn't go that far. I was actually pretty well respected for the most part, taking charge of the creation and half of Paradiso's population and whatnot. The women wanted to fuck me and the men would write an entire essay why they wanna be me. That was, until the day I got fed up with the job and higher ups to the point I rebelled on the system entirely and boy, let me tell you that they were NOT happy about that at all.

Ren: Not even mom?

Rodin: ESPECIALLY your mother. You see, she never admits this to anyone, but back then, your mother was a fan of mines, said my contribution inspired her in someway. So once she found out about my insurgency that day, she teleported her way to the battlefield and tried to kill me herself.

Ren: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Shock) You're kidding.......

Rodin: It's true. That woman did everything in her power to end my existence one way or another. But I'll say this much: as loud and obnoxiously preachy as she was....(Smirks a Bit) She's actually one the few worthy adversaries I had in a real long time.

Ren: So she hated you for that long, didn't she?

Rodin: ('Heh') "Hated"? Boy, she still hates my guts even when her and your momma started dating. But I suppose as long as she keep treating y'all with the respect and care, I shouldn't have any reasons to worry. (Pulls Down his Glasses as He Raises his Eyebrow at Ren) You do like having her around as your Goddess Mom or whatever, right?

Ren: (Happily Nodded) Yeah, how could not? She and Witch Mom went out of their way to adopt and raise me as their own. (Frowns a Bit) Which is more than I can say about my actual parents......

Rodin: You had a shitty home life?

Ren: ('Sigh') Somewhat....It was mostly strict if anything. It wasn't long until I was framed for a crime I didn't commit that they moved me away to Shiyuba, labeled me as a disgrace to the family's name, and disowned me altogether. But as sucky as that was....(Starts Smiling a Little) The move did help me start my life over and meet the people I've grown attached to over the recent years. So there's that at least.

Rodin: (Smiles Back at Ren With a Simple Nod) Good, good. The world we live in is filled with cruelty and disaster, but It's nice to see some folks out there finding a better outlook and living the best life for themselves, away from their past sufferings.

'DOOR KOCKED OPENS'

????: HEEEEEEERE'S HADES!

Rodin: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes at a Familiar Face) Speaking of disasters......

Ren: 'Sup Hades. What brings you here?

Hades: Ohh nothing too grand. (Makes his Way inside the Bar) Just checking up on how my nephew is doing on his first day as a bartender.

Rodin: (Turns to Ren) Y'all appointed this fool as your uncle?

Ren: Not really. He declared himself as one a while back. (Leans in and Whispers into Rodin's Ear) He's not even close being the best uncle in the entire Smash Family.

Hades: (Glares at his Self Proclaimed Nephew) Hey, my ears aren't broken, I heard that! (Crosses his Arms Together) And I'll have you know that have set a good enough example for each of you ungrateful brats as a parental figure.

Ren: (Gives Hades a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Really? Then why did showed Pitto that one scene from Toyoko Tribe last year on the first day of October?

Rodin: Wait. You mean one with that big lipped fucker and-

Ren: Yeeeup. And let's not forget the time you made him watch three episodes of Boku no Pico a year or two earlier just for shits and giggles.

Rodin slowly turns his head back towards Hades with a menacing glare on his face.

Rodin: What in the everlasting hell is wrong with you?

Hades: ('SIghs in Defeat') Look, I was bored at each of those times alright!? I didn't think they would actually sacred him THAT badly.......

Ren: Yeah, well they did. (Chuckles Lightly) And honestly, you deserved every beating that came your way after that. (Whispers into Rodin's Ear Again While Snickering) He got whopped by goddess mom AND Pitto's girlfriends.

Rodin: (Forms a Conniving Looking Smirk on his Face) You don't say?

Hades: Hey, they only beaten me by surprise! I can handle all three of them easily in a rematch, Palutena especially!

Ren: Really. So if I were to call her right now and ask her to come over here, you'd still fight her?

Hades: Yeeeup! (Crosses his Arms Again) Your Best Uncle in the Mutliverse Hades us not afraid of anyone. Not even all your mothers.

Ren; No one ever calls you that. (Shrugs) But hey, it's your funeral.

Ren takes his phone out of his pants pocket and begins his call. He waits for a few seconds for the beeps to go off until the words "Hello?" from a feminine voice finally reach into his eardrums.

Ren: Hey, mom, how's its going?

Rodin: (Turns to Hades) You're about to enter a word of eternal pain, you know that?

Hades: (Puts on a Cocky Smirk on his Face as He Scoffs at Rodin) Oh please, like she would ever step foot on this bar alone. She still hates you, remember?

Ren: What's that? You said you're coming over right away to beat him up!?

Hades' sudden begins to widens as he mentally hears the sound of broken glass ringing in his ears and a hint of fear slowly rears it's ugly head as shown in his facial expression.

Ren: And you don't care if you have step foot in Uncle Rodin's bar to do so!?

Rodin: (Went Back to Smirking at Hades) You were saying?

Hades: (Glares at Ren) Ren, what the hell did you tell your mother!?

Ren: Ohhh nothing too major~ Just the fact that I told her that you said that she's too much of a wuss to fight you again and you could vaporize her easily.

Hades: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) VAPORIZ- Ren Amimaya, you know DAMN well I never said anything about vaporizing her bitch ass!

Ren: (Holds a Finger Up at Hades as He Continues His Phone Call With Palutena) .....Yeah, you heard that too, right? He just called you the B word.

Hades: (Angrily Grits his Teeth While Whispering to Ren) STOP TWISTING MY WORDS AROUND, BOY!- (Quickly Pauses Himself Before Taking a Deep Breath to Calm Down) You know what? It's fine, Hades. This is just an elaborate prank to fuck with me us all. Nothing more.

Ren: Hey, Hades, someone would like to have a word with you.

Ren holds up his phone and pits it on speaker mode as the caller in the other line begins to speak.

Palutena: HADES, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FILITH! I'M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW AND- (Continues Ranting and Screaming on the Other Line

Hades: (Finally Scared Shitless) Fuck this, I'm not ready to die again yet! Hades out!

And with that Hades finally disappears in the instantaneous speed of darkness much to Ren's satisfaction.

Ren: (Turns Speaker Mode Off and Put the Phone Back in his Ear) Don't waste your time coming over here, mom. He chickened out and left......Uh-huh.....Yep......('Sigh') Yes, I know. I shouldn't call you during work hours. This was just too funny of an opportunity to pass up, you know?.....Yeah......Alright, I'll bring you and Witch Mom something back once I get off.....Love you too. See ya.

Call Ends

Ren: (Turns to Rodin) Hey, you don't mind if I take some of your bags of Hellish Beef Jerky with me back home, do you? It'll only be for an evening.

Rodin: Knock yourself out (Puts on a Proud Smirk on his Face) You deserve it after scaring Hades' dumbass out of our establishment. 'Truly grateful for your service here today so far, boy.

Ren: (Smiles Softly) Thanks. I'm really glad to be here.

@keyenuta

@mariah2014

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

@princekirijo

#persona 5 #bayonetta (series) #super smash ultimate #ren amimaya #rodin #enzo (bayonetta) #hades #palutena #makoto (mentioned) #bayonetta (mentioned) #first day at work #humor #shumako #uncle rodin #family bonding #hades is hades #edited

[tammyfeabakker]

Had a nice Thanksgiving.... I didn't take pictures damn! I was very stoned and so happy to see my Chloe and DJ. Yes I was happy to see him too! He just needs a little work. He has come along way got a new job! I'm so proud! They seen the house... Chloe is talking bout moving back home. I hope so! We got plenty of room in the back for their camper. My Emily was talking bout moving back to Galloway. But after they seen the scenery here. Changed their minds. Chloe came down through Buena. She said it was like 1999 again. Stores mom n pop she seen a toy store she said reminds here of Christmas. That was Richland. Where we wanted to be but there were no houses available never will be. Probably because the area is beautiful very country. Milmay is hard to come by 2 there was 2 houses. We even walked the hood. It jus makes you wanna get out.. my Katy has been so bitchy. Jus bitches bout everything. There was a puddle of something under the table. DJ seen it. I said what is that? Katy right away had to say something on what I said. I'm so glad she doesn't have kids. Because obviously you can't say anything about anything. Well me anyway. All I said what is that?( It turned into WTF! ) What I can't say anything without a fucking comment coming out her mouth. Then she makes her self look stupid. I'm out in the cold ass rain taking the trash out! I hear someone talking. It's Katy out the window. Now I'm at the end of a ten car drive way. I had to stop wtf I was doing to walk all the way to her. She does it in the house too. I have to stop what I'm doing. To fucking hear her. Don't come talk to me directly no . She also pissed me off yesterday. Hypocrite. Talking bout TJ being petty. I have 6 bowls for 2 cats. Peaches doesn't like her dry food with her wet food. There's 2 for Merlin. I prepare breakfast and dinner for them. I got why is there 6 bowls? Now the fucking water is free. She's like I pay. For the service of cleaning them. I'm like fuck you. A dabble of soap and electric for the hot water what .000001 cent of electricity. Now I feel for TJ even though he hates my guts. Why probably because he thinks she moved out for me or talking shit on him why she left. Couldn't be further from the truth. I'll take it to the grave with me why she moved out. But if I gotta hear this bullshit I know he had to be going out of his fucking mind. I love her but I'm at my wits end. Lillie her dog can't control herself sometimes and pees in the house. According to Katy it's my cats. I only hope she finds someone really fast because there's gonna be a murder suicide. Then she freaks out telling me I have to take Lillie out twice but I have to work more. So how the fuck am I suppose to work more take the dog out at 12 n 2? She really needs to step off. I'm doing something she ask me to do something. I get I ask you to do something for me and I pay everything she needs to stop. She has fucked my life up. My car I blame on her and TJ because they kept taking it back to Brian ripping me off and them. They think I'm in a right and wrong contest. I'm not I was right though he was ripping us off. Jus giving him money. Not fixing my car. We got a 24 dollar electric bill. To much I said Sara n Craig is 500 dollars a month. Well their not taking care of you. Trust me tried to leave since I'm a problem. She hunts me down...Do to her making decisions on my life. Like I don't want you cleaning anymore. Now Katy said it. I ignore her she comes down on me. So I left then bitches bout taking care of my shit. She did to me before. TJ and I will take care of your expenses. I'm like well. No sooner that came out my mouth she's on the phone calling my people that I quit. Her and TJ tell me I gotta get a real job early in our living together. She's like TJ found this for you. I got the job. But it was the fucking worse decision ever!!! But I had a nice day yesterday anyway.

[incarnateirony]

A well walked "magical" path, spiritual path, gnosis path, whatever you call it--should always, always make more, not less sense as it goes on without having to delete, change, or ignore substantial parts of the past achieved to get there.

And I don't mean random confirmation bias readings of signs like Oh, I Adulted Once Because I Talked To Myself And It Worked, R E A L. No I mean, your whole ass life should be making sense. Things you were confused about ten, twenty years ago should be making sense. The whole universe should start making sense by the time the average man is reaching a midlife crisis, and instead you're in midlife gnosis.

It can be the little things; vagrant messages we heard that seemed to have no sense or context but did years later; it can be major things--for example, I used to fail miserably at controlling my astral self, but the further I grokked along not only did I understand and get reigns on that within reason, but realized it's part of something far larger, and always has been, and from there up that ladder I'm looking down and back now, and so on.

Your old journals. Your old dreams. Your old interests. The parts of yourself you forgot when you were just starting out. Strange in jokes you didn't get at the time. It should all be making more, not less sense. If you have an actual path, it's going to look like an actual plot with a direction by the end, even if it looked random or arbitrary at the time.

If at middle age you realize you've been on the wrong path, first you must accept, you have probably been on the wrong path almost your entire life. In the very least, at some point you substantially diverged. To repair this, you must identify when you lost your way, and your self, and turn back and go allll the way back. You can't cling to the parts you built up on the way. You can't try to part together a broken machine with broken parts. Some parts may find their way to the new spirituality model you develop but you literally have to completely deconstruct where you fucked up, or you keep building on a busted ass jenga tower.

If you insist on doubling down in a Bad Path direction without turning around, or just blindfolding yourself and turning off into the weeds instead of being willing to inspect your missteps behind you, you will only spiral worse. Because you keep going more and more away from where you're meant to be.

One often has to look back to the origins to find their endings.

One thing I disagree with Crowley on, I don't think it's necessarily too late for anyone to start unless they do it last minute in their octogenarian years or something. Crowley deadass says in his letters, like, nah, you're screwed, you're never gonna spiritually wake up, you're trying to do at 40 what you should have done at 14. You're gonna have to deconstruct yourself five times as hard and long, you will literally die before you achieve this.

And like. I definitely get the sentiment. I too am tired of people pretending they can doorkick in with their favorite brand of diabetes, a googled moon spell, and the current popular ontology or concept and just function the same as the elders. It's fucking infuriating, adults acting like children with zero self inspection. I get it. Again. Quarter century here. And still have stuff I can learn and master. I can't imagine how fucked up I'd be if I let the general world shape me first longer than puberty, oh god. But then you get people decades entrenched and wondering why they can't catch up. Cuz you refused to fuckin pay attention at the start, and if you want to get ANYWHERE in life, first you must admit you've done fucked up your entire life, and it's all busted, and you need to break it down to fix it, cuz you got work to do kids.

But I also do want to believe people CAN try. I'm just. Yet to see it in anyone over 30, really. That's why I'm like, you're either called or you're not, yo. If it was in you, you probably would have been looking earlier. If you were looking earlier and got lost on the way, figure out where the fuck you got lost, stop getting loster in your own habits.

[geekns]

you sound like the qanon conspiracy freaks who were convinced there were litter boxes in classrooms for kids to piss and shit in lol. was gonna try engaging in a meaningful dialogue with you but since you’ve got your head so far up your ass you’re interpreting genuine kindhearted asks trying to help you as vicious hate and bullying, im not even gonna bother. i just wanted you to know you sound like you ingested horse antiparasitic to treat covid. also ps who the fuck is anne? are you just making up a person to blame everything on bc you can’t admit that you showed your entire ass and multiple people have come to clown? okay anyway you’re too bitter to waste the rest of my high on so byeeeeeeee!!!!

I have not ever been involved with the QAnon movement. Have no fucks to give, never thought any of it was real. In fact, I think it was controlled opposition. I don't fit inside your tiny box, Anne.

I haven't received any genuine, kindhearted asks in a very long time.

If you thought you were being kind, you are absolutely delusional. I am not here to conform to your hot takes. Who do you think you are, what gives you the right to tell me how to live, what to think, what to feel? I'm not here to be your echo chamber.

Oh yes, the Rona.

You want to know what. I feel sorry for you. That "horse antiparasitic" has been prescribed to humans for decades. The only reason the Rona Vax was able to be pushed into production is because the doctors and the MSM and the government lied to you. If they were to admit that a drug, one that's worked for decades, could work in this instance as well, then they wouldn't have been legally allowed to use people like lab rats.

And guess what? Now the people who were gullible enough to take the jab are paying the price, and it's horrible. Turbo cancers. Blood Clots. Heart attacks. Strokes. Bell's Palsy. Sterilization. The list keeps growing and growing and y'all still think you weren't sold snake oil? Wake up!

There had never been a vax for the common cold and the one they have provided still doesn't prevent the disease from being contracted or from spreading. That's a bunch of science fiction, germ theory doesn't even hold water and hasn't done so for 100 years. They were trying to prove it during the Spanish Flu and failed.

I feel so sorry for everyone who is living through this dystopic nightmare, even moreso for those people who are still hypnotized and refuse to acknowledge what they allowed to happen to themselves.

Anne is short for anon.

Specifically hateful anons. It's a term that the Reylos coined because so many people were hating on them. It's been in Tumblr usage for years. It's got "Sure Jan" vibes. An Anne is almost always a Karen. Someone who irrationally expects to get their way and be thanked for their tantrum. And what y'all have most definitely been acting like today is Karens.

I haven't shown my ass, WTF is that even supposed to mean. I mean, do you want me to moon you like in Braveheart or something? It's not my thing but I could probably find you a clip.

No, I'm not surprised that the brainwashed clowns showed up, haters gotta hate after all. It's like you guys get off on making yourselves look as idiotic and small as possible. I've always been perplexed: why do you think it's okay to tell people that they're full of "hate" if they don't agree with your delusions. Why would it ever be okay to tell someone that they should kill themself? Be forced to put up with abuse? Be raped? Does it make you feel powerful??? Because you sound pathetic.

So good, go away, rethink your life, since drugs seem to make you act like a fool that can't be taken seriously.

#oh hi anne #protest #i really thought it was all one anne #little did i know that the clown car was here to tp my house

[nwhk]

Fare thee well, 2023

Aaah..

Yeah exactly. That's the first thing I said out loud when I tried to think about 2023 in retrospect

Can you believe that it's only a few days until 2024? I have not even finished processing half of 2023 let alone entering a new year..

Honestly I have no idea how I dealt with this year - mostly giving myself the peptalk cause girl can't depend on no one for that. You gotta kick your own ass, sometimes. I lied. It's most of the time.

Because truth be told, it's you against yourself 90% of the time. You can't choose the environment nor the situation you're in but you can, at least, control the way you react to it. (Trust me, in my head, I've been on rampages a few times)

Looking back on 2023, it was a roller coaster. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. Hold on, scratch that. It felt like being thrown in a fucking washing machine and being told not to scream - but eventually seeing light in the end

Yeah. Exactly like that.

I feel like I was thrown in situations so uncomfortable that I didn't get to tell that it was uncomfortable - it was more like God throwing stuff at me and told me to deal with it - and I did.

See, that's the thing. I never thought I had it in me to handle all of those things thrown at me. I used to think, nah that's not gonna happen to me. I used to think I GET to choose, but the universe said otherwise, obviously.

I lost a friend this year to Cancer. We used to be so close but my God, it was really a wake up call how fragile life is. How short life is! May Allah rest her soul amongst the beloved – really puts into perspective the things that we think are important in this life

I also lost a friendship that I really valued and tried so hard to keep this year. But I guess, one can only get hurt so much, so this one had to bite the dust. I'll cherish all the memories, for sure, but I believe wholeheartedly that we would be better off out of each others' lives and I wish her all the best

.

.

On a positive note, I went on two vacations this year - Kuching in July and KL & Penang in December. Where did I get the money with all the expenses on my car that I had to pay for this year? hahaha God indeed works in mysterious ways

and when they say people show their true colours when you live or travel with them, it is so true and I learned a lot in that regard and it did build my patience and get my mind blocking game strong

and as a cherry on top, my sister decided to give birth while I was away. Sister of the year goes to....? Yours truly. I have a new nephew ya'll and it is such a lovely addition to our family and even more lovely way to end the year - baby screams. I'm kidding. He's a good boy.

I don't know, but I feel like my mind went through a lot of shifts and lots of tweaking here and there throughout this year. I definitely learned a lot and it has definitely helped shape my character. Have I transformed into a better person? Not really. I really do feel like I am still a work in progress and I have gotten better in some areas more than the others, and other parts I feel, I have not started on or even identify them yet.. maybe I will next year?

I also learn that having people who love you and accept you as you are is hugely underrated - you need it and it makes this whole life journey more bearable. Those who feel your joy and your pain - those count, and I wish everybody has at least this one person in their lives.

Watching my parents grow old was really the highlight of this year, I feel. They played a major part in opening my eyes this year. I have taken for granted a lot of things - the way I would get mad how my mom would bang my door to call me for dinner every night - I don't get to experience that anymore. Mom can barely walk let alone walk to my door. A lot of things. How the tables have turned. How they have become so dependent on me now

Now I'm the one who has to call for dinner - to bring dinner to them. To worry if they have anything to eat while I'm away for work etc. I'm less worried now because my sister's home at least for a few months

There were moments where I caught myself wishing to turn back the hands of time. Wishing for this and for that but only to realise that all I have is now and for me to make it count and with all thats going on in my life, I am afraid to lose sight of this in the midst of all the chaos. It can easily be the most difficult thing in the world

I have no idea what 2024 is going to entail but I am trying to make sure that I enter the new year with a positive mindset. The grateful, blessed mindset with a new outlook on life. Wish I knew years ago that this is what growing up is. I used to always believe that life was like a tug of war where you have to fight to win and so I lived life on survival mode mostly. When I was told to relax and take life as it is, I panicked - in my mind that if I let go just a little bit, life will come crashing down

Now I am slowly accepting that I am just living life as it was written. Life will give to you naturally and all you have to do is navigate and make good decisions and most importantly, have a good heart and good intentions with you all the time. I believe God knows and acknowledges all that we do

What will be, will be - and so it is.

Happy New Year 2024, everybody!

This ship is only sailing towards the Northern Star

Note: I began writing this post a probably a week before 31st

[rareslikespastelpink]

Alright

Uh I've been anxious and stressed all week. So anxious that for the last 3 days my heart was beating a mile a minute, not eating as much and having a hard time sleeping. Been waking up at like 2 am almost every day.

I was so stressed my hair fell out again. It looks like it did pre-cortisone injections and so here we are back at square one with hair re-growth.

Monday I was going crazy because I didn't have the option to drive, but my insurance is so good that they got me into a rental the very next day. The adjuster texted me on Wednseday and my car was towed to the dealer as well same day. So things went smoothly with that.

I know it's gonna cost alot, these kids not only fucked my locking mechanism but fucked up my ignition as well. Don't get me wrong, the battery was probably super dead. But not even my lights on the dashboard came on. Even when it wouldn't start, my lights on the dashboard atleast came on.

Also my smashed in window. Fuck those kids. Fuck you for thinking it's cool to steal a car for a challenge and having no empathy for the person you do this too. You're fucking up that persons lively hood you asshats.

And I don't give a fuck about their brains not being fully developed. They can still be taught that trying to steal someones' car is wrong. I do understand we make mistakes when we're young, but this is a huge no no and a big mistake.

Also fuck Hyundai/Kia for their idiotic dumbass response to the situation. And fuck the US for not making it a law for car makers to put immobilizers in cars before selling them here.

If you try to steal someones' property you deserve an ass beating when caught. End of story. Or shot, either one is fine.

And I know once I get my car back, it's gonna get broken into again. So I'm gonna pay it off by the end of next year and get rid of it. I can't have a liability like that sitting around.

I'm looking at either a nissan rogue or a toyota rav4 or even a volvo sedan. It really just depends.

For now I found a kit that turns your car into a push to start, which these bitches can't steal it. So once I do that, I'm gonna leave the doors unlocked and put a note in the window. Also probably gonna find a way to take the emblems off the car. I'll do everything I can to deter these dipshits.

And since this is such a big thing, it might take a long time for them to get the parts for the car. Just ugh fuck them kids.

The sad part is I live in a relatively safe area rightnow as well. But no area is safe anymore if you have a Hyundai/Kia from these idiots. I've even read stories of the cars being stolen while people are at work.

So yeah got 7k left on this loan. My plan is to do 500 every two weeks, even 400 will do it. I just gotta have a very tight budget for it to work, not even including my debts I need to pay off. But I can do it. Probably gonna need a second job to make it possible, it'd only be 2 days a week though.

Then apply for my systems admin certificate, then after that finishes, apply for college. Have no idea where dating will fit into that, but I'm gonna do online classes. Eh I'll find a way to really make it work. This packed schedule will only be temporary and not permanent.

Also try to find a better paying job next year that has more opportunities for me to advance. This job doesn't have such opportunities and so I'm considering it dead end at this point. But I'm not quitting immediately.

Then I didn't text him because he seemed mad at me on Sunday. And that's okay, but what if I fucked up already? Q.Q

I should not have posted after getting his number or questioned his interest in me. Bleh. But it's okay and it's not that big of a deal. My brain is overthinking way too much of what to say. Just say hi it's blah blah and then go from there.

I don't know I'm just scared and going off the adrenaline from everything that's happened.

Can also just ask him questions about himself since I never really talked to him. But that was all a me problem. But it's okay.

I mean he already pretty much knows everything from reading on here since I'm an idiot. But that's okay as well.

As much as I want to stress over these things. I shouldn't or I'm gonna probably over do it and just make everything frustrating.

Also I really don't want to put anymore energy into posting on here. I'm gonna really stop. I know alot of it was me being anxious, scared, paranoid, unmedicated and not being able to regulate my emotions.

But I'm working on it. I want to be the best me I can be, not just for myself but for the ones I care about as well. It's perfectly okay to show emotion and be seen at my worst. Nothing wrong with that at all. But I want to really get it together and be seen at my best as well.

I'd say I'm genuinely a decent person or atleast I try to be and all that matters is that I try. Like I said, my goal is to be a nice person, stop being passive aggressive and just communicate more, stand up for myself more, mind my bussiness and stop worrying about what other people are doing. If they're not hurting anyone who really gives a fuck?

Also when I get into a relationship be a good partner, even with my tightly packed schedule. Cause' next year is going to be really busy.

My goal is to really flourish and if that's what I want then it'll work one way or another.

But yeah I'm done. I want to put my energy into really making things work. Also try to re-kindle old friendships and strengthen my current ones. Now that I feel a bit more stable, I know it's possible.

And no new years resolutions. I'm just gonna take better care of myself, drink more water and eat healthier. That's it. So bye, will probably be on here to reblog stuff, but that's it.

I'm sorry for anyone that had to deal with crap and my shenanigans on here. 😭

I love you! Q.Q

[yurhighnessmio]

✍You are cursed. Every evil deed you perform reduces the time you have left to live. However, good deeds will grant you more time.

Short Story #3 - February 15, 2022; Tuesday; 11:58pm

Do I push this random old woman on a busy street or do I help her cross the road?—was probably the hardest question I had to ask myself in my life.

I am a villain. Well, to be more specific, I'm just a petty thief...who is also, not only hot looking—mind you—but also pretty much of a great guy overall. Don't question that, you don't have to.

Although, I'm kind of an ass, I don't deny that. I mean, what thief isn't a piece of shit, really? Yeah, I steal. Maybe beat a few motherfuckers up here and there when I feel like it. No biggie.

Though, I have to admit, it's not like I have a choice but to do this. This shit happens apparently when you drop off of six grade just because you feel like it. Don't blame me—How was I supposed to know things were gonna turn out this way? It ain't my fault.

You live with what'chu got, and you learn to like it. I mean, I do one job: I steal a few wallets a day then BOOM—I get cash. No working in the office listening to a bunch of good-for-nothings yelling at you to do better. No struggling to pay shitty bills you ain't wanna pay. No wasting hours working all day only to be payed what? Fifty bucks? No. None of that.

You hear how great that is? Damn.

But, you see here, I'm kind of in a bit of a mess and stuff. See, something's happened...I met a bitch, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada—anyways, she got herself a lil too pissed. If you know what I mean?

See, in the thievery industry, you gotta at least have a clue who tf you're messing with. Can't just put your hands in just anybody's pants, if you catch my drift—although, yes, sex? Do your own thing when it comes to that. Fuck a stranger, fuck a friend, fuck a teacher. Do it...Bless you.

Back to the thing. I make her a little mad. She's not happy about it. I made her lose her shit. She's not happy about that either. Stuff happens, yada, yada, and now everytime I do my shit, I'm fucking dying.

Like, what the fuck? What'd I ever do to her dumbass? I returned her wallet, didn't I? Maybe not the money and the credit cards, but the wallet. And isn't that enough? Piece of shit needs to humble herself a bit. Really.

Back to the point, alright, I live, I do my job, right? And all of the sudden, everytime some crazy stuff happens, I feel this fucked up urge telling me that I'm 'bout to be 56 years away from dying. Like, what the hell, man. I mean I get it, I'm not complaining, 56's a lot—I'm actually really satisfied when it comes to that but, you know, what the actual fucking fuck? You know?

Ain't no one's supposed to know shit like that. What am I? A wizard? I ain't no Potter kid, alright? And I can't even tell nobody 'bout this shit cause they'll just think I've lost my cheeseballs...probably will laugh like dumb motherfuckers too, them pieces of shit. All because of that bitch—

At first, I didn't care and sort of ignored it. Cause, duh? What's a bro gotta do when you suddenly feel something telling you that you're dying in 56 years? Exactly. Nothing.

So I continued my shit but fuck, man, the number just keep droppin'. I keep on telling myself, you know, this is all me. It ain't real.

But then, I get this great idea to be a little, and I mean a little, experimental about it. It's sort of like, a guessing game, right? I guess what happens if I do this, I guess what happens if I do that, if I hit someone in the face, if I fuck their wife that I see in the pub, you get me? And man! It was the funnest mother fucking shit I've ever done in my life.

Like, I can say stuff like, "I wonder what's it worth hitting you face?" And they wont know jackshit! Ha! Things were too good. If it were gonna go down regardless of the things I do, then I might as well have fun with it.

So I punch a drug dealer's face—Awesome. I fuck a priest at the altar—Hilarious! I push a bro out of his own fucking balcony—he didn't die, there was a pile of trash below him, but he did sprain his leg and smell like shit—Fucking. Wicked!

Then one day, I walk out of a convenient store after pick-pocketing a few wallets and suddenly I feel my life bar says:

30 minutes; 42 seconds.

What...do I do...? What do I do? What. The. Fuck. Do. I. Mother. Fuckin'. Do?.....Bitch, I run! That's what I do.

I don't wanna fucking die. Yeah, I didn't believe this shit at first. Was it stupid? Who tf knows? Do you believe a motherfucker is robbing a bank before he pulls the gun out? Hell no. You embrace your own cajones. That's wha'chu fuckin' do.

To say that I choked on my own spit because of it is an exaggeration. Though, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to do anything about it. So I make sure not to lose my wallets and instead lose my damn shit as I try to look for something nice to do.

It's happened so often than not that when I actually do something nice for once, I get older. No, not get older, like, I don't die. Not like, the immortal type of not dying—I don't even know if that's possible—just, I don't die as early. I live longer—if you understand.

But what the heck can I even do? I don't wanna go around town like a moron going on and helping people for the rest of my life. I have a job. A responsibility to take care of my own ass—nevermind the mention of helping other people. I'm hard enough to maintain as I am.

All because of that bitch. I mean seriously, who does these to people? Witches! God, I didn't even think those things existed—If I knew, I would've backed the fuck out that instant but I didn't. Now I'm dying! What the heck—and I thought I was an asshole?

Looking for something nice to do at the side of a road is not so easy when there's really only one person I can help out: an old woman in her midnight dress and a cane that looks like she could have diabetes, maybe arthritis, who knows?

I gotta help her. But, then again, Help? Really? What am I, a bitch?

My blood is boiling and I don't really feel like helping an old piece of shit like her. I groan as I walk close, eyes darting to the road and back to her. I'm having a crisis:

Do I push this random old woman on a busy street or do I help her cross the road?

Vehicles of all kinds—cars, cheap ones, expensive ones, trucks, motorbikes, ambulances(three of them)—look like they're irking to run over a poor old lady right about now.

I remember the bitch that made me this way. Doing her Harry fucking Potter bullshit on me like there won't be consequences. Wait 'till I discover the existences of witch police. Definitely gonna get her sorry ass arrested.

I'm too pissed. Too pissed to even wanna move an inch from where I stood—staring at her like a damn predator. I am not into grannies, don't even start.

So I push her—mentally, as I actually lend her a hand and help her cross the street, holding her hand like old peope do in tv's.

"Why thank you, young man. Not very many people offer to help old folks like me these days. Your mother must be so proud!"

"Whatever, man." I can't even look at her.

When I reached the other end of the road, I drop her off. It was a fairly large town, but not many people like to go out. So, I wasn't surprised when all I saw at the other end was a mother, her child, and a beggar that seemed to be distracting the woman by insistently begging for coins.

The granny gave her thanks, and walked away. I feel my bar change.

1 day; 29 minutes; 32 seconds.

That's it? One!? I thought, Not to complain, but I worked too hard walking with that old hag's pace just to be added one day to my life. Whoever's in charge with handling my shit is a selfish prick and they fucking know it.

Out of anger, my eyes wander just enough to  see how the child is actually holding a lollipop. My stomach grumbles and I smile at the midget. Then I grab the lollipop and run for it the opposite direction before shoving the thing in my mouth.

I laugh like it's the end of the world. I could hear the child cry. I could also sense my bar change.

28 minutes; 56 seconds.

Son of a bitch.

🌟

Questions?

Comments?

Advice?

No?

Have a great day.

#literature #short story #oneshot #writing #writing prompt

[flaresanimedump]

Ok ok I have thoughts about Monstrum Nox again.

1) Desperately wanting Jules got me through the earlier chapters. I love that boy. Also like that they didn't make him die, but it totally made sense given that Zola had been working on a cure as a side project for 500 years. It didn't seem like an asspull with that context. Very few diseases last 500 years. Jules's dad came along at just the right time.

2) Credo's laugh tic was the only annoying thing about him. He was the perfect brute character. Sadly I forgot about him the moment I got Jules.

3) Everything about white cat was bad. Everything. Her gift was the worst to use. Her plot was atrocious. "Stealing from the rich to give to the poor is bad, despite the fact that the poor are being taxed more because of the circumstances of their birth and my family's company is poisoning them." Even if she saw problems with her methods, the easiest thing to do would be to set up a partnership with the doctors that let the slum residents get free medicine for the poison her dad was filling them with. Pay their medical bills at the source, you walnut. Setting up a flower shop for them to spend their non-existent medicine money on as a way of making amends? Are you kidding me?

3.1) AND ANOTHER THING. The sidequest where her dad tells off that paper maker for having a shitty product shows that the writers have no clue how business deals work. If Pendleton said nothing about the quality as it declined (and the guy didn't know it was bad so we know he didn't), that shit's on him. Throwing away business partners of 100+ years the moment something better comes along without a goddamn word to why is in fact how you get backstabbed in the business industry (which is exactly what happened, and one day he's just going to get his ass assassinated).

4) Yufa fanclub, president: me.

5) I didn't love the switches between Adol and Adol. It was especially bad when I had to remember I couldn't double jump. But also the prison scenes were really boring.

6) Chatelard's point thing was infuriatingly pretentious. I wanted to kill him so bad. AND THEN THEY MADE ME SAD HE DIED WTF.

7) Chatelard and Lucien's brother were married.

8) Emo Adol. In 2019. Astounding. Amazing.

9) Aprilis and Zola were. The best. Aprilis really comes off as a total himbo when you take into account the fact that she climbs the bell tower to pose and grandstand like an emo before every battle and any time someone mentions Zola she's like "...yeah he's unique." meanwhile Zola's off killing god and everyone on the team is like "why did you even ally with this crazy mother fucker in the first place???" and she's like "well." and then Zola comes back and is like "so I successfully killed god for you Aprilis because he fucked up real bad, so I cleaned up his mess while I was at it and also gave my notes to this one doctor so we can cure your other friend and I can bring people back from the dead but I only care about you and like 4 other people so I'm gonna retire." And everyone is like "I;m, sorry what." and Aprilis is like "see."

10) there was nothing, nothing more satisfying than getting to kill the general who abandoned Chatelard to die, the bishop who was "just following orders" when he sentenced Aprilis to death, and the king who ordered Aprilis's death. Thank you Zola for giving me such intense catharsis this Christmas. Thank you Zola for tormenting them but not really being all that crazy about any of it. Zola I love you so much-

11) Zola picking up Grimnir's goddamn job and eventually being the reason the region even survived Grimnir's shitty plan. Zola being the only one who was looking to the future with respect to the Nox. Zola becoming god-adjacent just to save Aprilis and their friends. Zola retaining that power after the nox was gone, but having achieved his goal, putting himself back in his own ancient body. Despite having the ability to create new bodies which he actively did for Doll. Just because he didn't do any of it for himself. He didn't even need to live with the friends he worked tirelessly, for centuries, to give normal lives to. He only wanted them to live and be happy all along. He never lost sight of that goal and he retired and gave up all his power the moment he reached it. He could still do it again but he won't. Because he's THE BEST FUCKING BOY OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

12) me sitting there in love with Zola cheering him on like "do you want help Zola sir you seem like you've taken on a lot and I can do legwork like a champ" until he says "I pulled the gods out of your memory, Adol!" and my reaction was literally "oh no honey there's a reason Adol killed them..." was quite possibly the greatest gameplay experience I've had in a decade.

#ys ix monstrum nox #I loved so many characters in this #and then Zola came along and blew them all out of the water #look at him go