#SSEW

[fromthewondersystem]

Alters: Who Am I?

Oftentimes with DID/OSDD, it can be difficult to tell who you are. Our system kind of has a list of questions we go through, and I thought I might post them to see if anyone else finds them useful. I’ve added some too.

Do I have an accent/speak a different language? If so, what kind?

What gender feeling do I have (masculine, feminine, androgynous)?

What pronouns do I use?

What age do I feel like (adult, middle, little)?

Am I an extrovert or introvert?

What main emotion am I feeling or goal do I have?

What music do I like?

What’s my favorite color?

How long/what style of hair do I have in innerworld?

Do I feel shorter, taller, or around the same height as the body?

Do I have any pseudomemories? If so, what are they?

Do I seem more like an ANP or EP?

Do I feel non-human in any way? If so, what do I feel about me is not human (wings, horns, etc.)?

What hand do I write with easier?

Do I need glasses?

Am I having any functioning issues (motor, vocal, etc.)?

[Insert things specific to one or a few alters in your system that others don’t experience or do.]

Please feel free to add on with other questions you might use to help yourself distinguish who you are, as this is not an exhaustive list!

#summersystemeducationweek #syseducationweek #SSEW #summer system education week #sys education week #alters #did #osdd #system #who am i #identity confusion #switching #info

[lordcatwich]

here!! No spoilers here really with all the lore that's been uncovered about him lol but thought y'all might want it

#doctor finley rose 🪀 #ssew

[serendipminie-writes]

How old is Madame Minthe really?

Couldn’t tell you. She looks young but even I’m not exactly sure how long she’s been alive.

#writeblr #oc rambling #ssew #ssew rp #secret society of evil writeblrs #madame minthe serendipity 📖

[evil-lordcatwich]

*A loud knock can be heard coming from the front door. Opening it reveals a cross, stuck a few meters in front of the door, that's about 5'2, with rat corpses neatly arranged in top and all around it, making it look like it was literaly made of rats. On top were younger ones, starting from baby hatchlings, and getting older going down. In the middle, "short?" was written using rat cadavers of different sizes that seemed completly covered in... Blood? It definetly looked like dried blood*

*No one was to be seen in the area*

Finley took a minute to realize what he was looking at. He produced some kind of loud, shocked, strangled noise and froze, heart pounding, staring at the…. Whatever it could be called. Their fingers dug into the doorframe. They couldn't take their eyes off the cross. It took him a while to muster the force to push himself away from the door and stumble forward to investigate. He reached out, tentative, and let his hand make contact with one of the corpses, but immediately jerked back from the feeling of the unnatural cold. Breath intensifying, he circled the cross, still shocked, beginning to mumble something.

“She didn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. Tone it down, dude, tone it down she doesn't know she doesn't know tone it down she doesn't know she doesn't know she doesn't FUCKING KNOW!”

Finley’s soft words devolved into yells, and he threw the pen he'd been holding into the bushes in a rage. He turned and looked at the cross again, at the top in particular, where the babies were. “Oh my- I can't-” shuddering, Finley covered his face with his hands for a moment, then peeked out again, dropped his hands. His movements seemed quick and random. He briefly paced back and forth before stopping and turning to face the word.

“Short,” he muttered in confirmation, answering the question mark. “Short monster. Gremlin. Goblin. Kobold. Snotling. Imp.” Finley abruptly reached out and dug his fingers between the rats, tearing the cross out of the ground. He dragged it into the lab, fueled by rage, and leaned it against a wall. “Dead rats. Let's see how you like dead rats when they're attacking you in the afterlife, Camy- No- no. We're not killing her. Don't. No. Bad move. Bad move, Finley,” he told himself. Finley left the room with the rat cross inside, tears in his eyes. “Let's come up with something worse.”

#doctor finley rose 🪀 #ssew rp #secret society of evil writeblrs rp #secret society of evil writeblrs #villain rp #ssew #finley the rat🐀 #he is mad. he is enraged. no one is safe #he's boutta cause a thunderstorm #finley nooooo

[thelawsofphysicswerentharmed]

#Exoskeleton Wolfsbane Griffin #ssew #ssew rp #secret society of evil writeblrs

[campfire-collective]

trauma

i have written four hundred thousand words of fanfiction. (many more, but it's hard to keep track of the ones i haven't published.)

when i was thirteen i.

don't talk about that.

when i was eleven i.

don't talk about that.

when i was six i.

don't talk about that.

i wasn't abused i just. i wasn't abused. it wasn't like that. i wasn't abused. don't think too hard about why you startle when people approach you don't think too hard about the day you stopped wanting to be touched don't think too hard because it wasn't like that.

when i was fifteen, i went to my boyfriend's house and.

when i was seventeen, i went to prom and wondered if.

when i was sixteen, i was taken to the er, and i cared more about.

i'm subsumed in everything. i'm surrounded by opinions. why did you care why won't you let me try why are you sad why why why why why none of you had to stand there and take it.

i can't let this out. i'm not allowed. whatever destructive behavior you're thinking of: i won't do it. i'll just sit here and scream and scream and scream and when i can't keep it bottled up any longer, i'll write.

when i was ten, my mother found one of my journals and.

when i was eleven, my grandmother found my fanfiction account and she.

when i was twelve, i texted my friend, "please stay on the phone," and when my mother got home at two am, i couldn't explain why i was crying.

i'm good at looking put together. (i'm the part that gets bottled up so i can look put together.)

that hurt me. (it was not abuse.) that hurt me. (this is because people will use your weakness against you.) that hurt me. (don't let them show.) that hurt me that hurt me that hurt me that hurt me i will grit my teeth and keep it together and carry the pain in my hands in my jaw in my chest in my heart.

they say a lot about trauma and past and present and i'll be honest, it's too mixed together for me to tell. i'm not stuck in the past, i promise. i'm moving forward. i'm fine, i've just forgotten how to feel.

when i was three, i learned people will not help you, because i believed it when someone told me.

#mine #mod sparrow #general tw #ig? #abuse #child abuse #honestly idk how the fuck to tag this #here's my entry for trauma #ask to tag #summersystemeducationweek #syseducationweek #ssew #ok to rb #forgot about that lol #oh and #vent

[circulars-reasoning]

Ironically, today’s prompt for system education week was “dissociation and memory loss”

And I uh. Forgot what day of the week it was, dissociated most of today, and have little to no memory of what we did!

Lol.

#summer system education week #summersystemeducationweek #SSEW #syseducationweek #this is kinda a cop out I know #just been a rough day #💙

[morgan-says]

Written for the alters day - this didn't turn out how it was originally meant to. The actual thing is under the cut, hidden mostly so people don't have to scroll past if they don't want to.

You know, I'm known as the asshole. The one that blows up and leaves a mess for others to clean up. I'm so bad that we made an entirely separate account for me to have my own blog. Satan is more civil than me.

All this sounds pretty persecutory, doesn't it? In all actuality, I'm a protector.

I'm the one who snaps when we get pushed too far. I'm the one who breaks off abusive or neglectful friendships or relationships. I'm the one who goes maybe a little too far just to make sure that they won't mess with us again.

After all, if it's not me, who is it? Not the littles. One can't stand conflict and another is so caught up in the trauma she holds that she refuses to front for fear of it happening again. It won't be our host - they're too afraid of having nobody that they'd rather be used and neglected and abused then told they're overreacting when they try to speak up for themselves.

So if not me, who else?

I've gained a little reputation among the system, and some people outside who've gotten the joy of being on the bad side of my temper, and you know what?

I'm okay with being told I'm "the closest thing to an evil alter that we have" (thanks, asshole, for sending our host through that loop). I'm okay with being known as the asshole. I'm okay with being pushed away for fear of me screwing something up.

Why am I okay with this? With being, what others would call, mistreated?

Because I'm doing my job. A job nobody else up here wants to do.

So I'm okay with being pushed away. I'm okay with it all. Because eventually, inevitably, they always come back to me and I do what I can to make life better. Whether that means dropping assholes like hot potatoes, or snapping at someone who's intentionally triggering our psychosis. I'm okay with it.

Because I have a job to do. And I will do it.

One of my proudest moments? It actually came recently. Our host stood up for themself, all on their own. I wasn't there to back them up, I wasn't there to take over when it got too much. They did it themself.

When I don't have to do my job? Sure, I may not front much for those times, but that's good. It brings the collective far less stress, especially the host. I don't like being triggered to the front often, so when I am, it means we're in some deep shit that the host can't handle alone. And I don't like that. Because they're strong. And if they can't handle it, it means someone beat them down until they were weak again and I had to be strong for them.

I don't want to be strong for them. I want them to be able to be strong on their own. I don't want them to need me, but they do, so... I'm here. I've been here since the beginning. And I'll be here forever. Because nobody else will do what I do, will take over those hard decisions and moments of "is this worth it"

I have a job to do. Nobody else will do it. So I have to. And I'm okay with that - I'll do it. I'll do anything they need.

Even if they hate me afterward.

#syseducationweek #systemeducationweek #summer system education week #ssew #idk how to tag i dont tumblr often #morgan muses #protector #did system

[serendipminie]

Oooh part 2 I love them

#asks #ask answered! #lovely mutuals #ssew rp #ssew #secret society of evil writeblrs

[fromthewondersystem]

What is DID/OSDD?

DID is dissociation

DID is never being in the moment

DID is seeing life through a fog

DID is feeling like you’re living life in third person

DID is living life in a dream where reality doesn’t even feel real

DID is feeling so disconnected from your body, like it’s not yours

DID is confusion and fear when you look in the mirror

DID is amnesia

DID is not knowing half your life

DID is questioning every picture thinking how could that be me?

DID is thinking you’ve slept through the day, missing important events and deadlines

DID is not knowing what you did today, or even five minutes ago

DID is forgetting who you are, your name, birthday, address, what you like

DID is being bewildered about what life you’ve lived and what life you haven’t

DID is alters

DID is never knowing who you are, just that you’re “you”

DID is confusion about your identity, in a million different ways

DID is not having control over what you do or what you did

DID is never being alone yet still feeling incredibly lonely

DID is denial

DID is questioning if you had trauma

DID is questioning if it was bad enough

DID is questioning if your own memories are hiding something from you

DID is wanting to know what’s hiding but being terrified of the answer

DID is spiraling into doubt because you must be fake, this isn’t real

DID is locking yourself out from spaces and people who could help because of this fear

DID is being worried you actually don’t have it, but just as worried that you do

DID is trauma

DID is having been through so much and wondering if it will ever stop

DID is hating yourself and treating yourself like trash because you were taught to believe it’s what you deserve

DID is having no one to turn to for support

DID is wishing there was someone who would give you unconditional love

DID is never feeling safe

DID is falling into another trauma right after getting out

DID is convos between alters and inside jokes and taking a break from life sometimes or getting to be the happy version of you that never got to exist growing up

DID is terrifying, horrible, sad and angry and hating, confusing, stuck in the bad parts of life you’ve always had to deal with and never knowing anything about anything

DID is meeting others with OSDDID and crying, because oh my god, there is finally someone out there I can talk to, someone who understands what I’m going through

DID is being grateful for this community, even if there are some cracks or flaws, because for once, you don’t feel so alone

#summersystemeducationweek #syseducationweek #sorry this is so late in the day but technically still the fourth for me #poetry #did #osdd #system #community #dissociation #amnesia #denial #trauma #alters #what is did/osdd? #SSEW #summer system education week #sys education week

[lordcatwich]

I can't stop making picrew images of this guy

These are all from different times (except for two they're around the same)

but

FINLEYYYYYYY MY BOIII

#lore #i have no idea what i'm doing lmao #secret society of evil writeblrs #ssew

[serendipminie-writes]

I can't stop thinking about SSEW aodaiofjwifejjfkwj

Ach me neither I love it so much, it's the best idea we ever had

#asks #ask answered #writeblr #writing #writer friends #other writers #lovely mutuals! #ssew #ssew rp #secret society of evil writeblrs #finn 🐈💛

[evil-lordcatwich]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I need to start working on a new product. The old idea isn't developing as quickly as I'd hoped. It's fine, though! Completely fine. I am not fuming at all. The decrease in new customers as a result of lack of new material isn't real. It can't hurt me. Ugh.

#doctor finley rose 🪀 #ssew rp #secret society of evil writeblrs rp #secret society of evil writeblrs #villain rp #ssew #finley the rat🐀

[evillittlebookworm69]

Merry Christmas Eve. How did you get into my lab yesterday?

(-@evil-lordcatwich)

*Dr. Einar jumps out of her chair, as she doesn't notice Dr. Rose before he speaks, because she was paying too much attention to what she was doing*

OH MY GOD YOU SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME-

*She takes a deep breath before speaking again, in a calmer manner*

Merry Chirstmas Eve to you too, Finley. *She looks at him for a few seconds* And about your question... I suggest a trade of information. I will tell you how I got into your lab when you tell me how you got into mine. A fair exchange if you ask me.

#doctor cami einar 🧪 #doctor finley rose 🪀 #secret society of evil writeblrs #ssew rp #villain rp #secret society of evil writeblrs rp

[campfire-collective]

so today (technically yesterday) is communication day.

i guess.

i get frustrated. every time i find something that works, i stop using it. which is silly and obvious and i know there's a message from em in the notebook, but...i can't bring myself to read it.

sometimes i have good communication, sometimes i just close my eyes and say, "i don't understand why i'm behaving like this."

i don't have anything exciting to say about this subject. i just keep trying. maybe eventually it'll stick.

#mine #summersystemeducationweek #syseducationweek #ssew

[circulars-reasoning]

Summer System Education Week!

Today’s Prompt: Alters

The experience of having alters is… odd, to say the least - especially as an avid RPer and writer. I’ll keep the ramble under a cut, since it’s so long!

Tw for sui ideation mentions.

When I was in high school, we conceptualized ourselves as “characters who took over for Rice when she got too stressed out from life.” It was just me (Wade) and Sierra back then, and we thought of ourselves as two halves that made up who “the body” (or, Rice, in our minds) was. We would switch between home and school - Sierra got school, because she could be a badass bitch there, and I got home, cause I was everything I felt my parents wanted.

But then new alters formed. It was slow - sometimes we didn’t notice at first, and sometimes we did. When Sie formed, it was when our “friend” (quit ions meant for sarcasm) was threatening to leave our friend group because “nobody loves her anymore.” Sierra had started fronting at home more, which confused us, but I started just. Fading back. She was the host now - she could do whatever she wanted. (Not healthy I know now). And suddenly, Sierra was just so stressed out that… Sie was there. It felt like Sierra was just gone for a few minutes, and in her place was this child, crying, just begging for the friend not to leave because we craved that love so much.

Sie was sudden. Numb, who came not long after, was not. He formed because we were suicidal. I really struggled the most with wanting to lull myself - but it was all just passive ideation. Over the course of a few months, my depression started getting worse. We felt… so dead. And one night, when I was just sitting in bed, crying without really feeling it, the emotions suddenly hit again and I couldn’t handle it - and then Numb was there. And the feeling was completely gone.

We’ve gotten a LOT more splits since then. All of them have one thing in common; they came when we were even the slightest bit stressed. Debra split when we were at our most suicidal. LED split when Debra was harassing us night and day, to help handle the persecutor thoughts. Curtis split when we were so tied up in our sexuality and how “it was an abomination” (my parents words) that we let ourselves get hurt more than we could understand, at the time - we were just about 15 or 16. Ve split when our switching became unmanageable as we had it, and she switched when nobody else could. Roy split in the shower one day, when we were caught in a flashback. Octavian split when triggered by social media. And Avery split when I finally, finally came out as who I really am.

I’ve never written it all out before, especially for people to see. But I am happy to share it now. Nobody is EVER obligated to share (this is highly personal, after all). But I’m sharing this for a reason: I keep seeing lately that alters can form for any reason. But I feel as though that’s not true; I think alters form due to stressors in life, and adapting to handle them. That’s not “for any reason” - that’s a specific one!

Now, after we’ve done a lot more therapy and thinking about our splits and why we formed, it’s a lot easier to figure out “is this an OC or is this an alter.” OCs, we create on the spot. We “step into” those characters for RP. It impacts our behavior, before and after RP, when we RP those characters. But it’s so fundamentally different from how alters form and front. Alters aren’t created on the spot - we don’t “purposely” create them. They are created during stressful events, unlike OCs. And rather than “stepping into” a character, we would describe fronting as “someone stepping into me.” Switches feel like a dance (though sometimes it’s more of a yank than a waltz!). They’re very physical - moving between two things, rather than becoming one thing.

I hope… ANY of that makes sense. We’re going to be posting more individual stuff today from each of us, with folks permission of course. 💙 This is just my big post describing EVERYTHING. Have a wonderful day!

#alters #SSEW #summer system education week #summersystemeducationweek #systemeducation #day 2 #tw sui ideation #splitting #switching #did #osdd #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #OSDDID