#Sorry I just need to be upfront abt it

[sunsetsandsunshine]

Bruh the Anon that keeps sending me TADC tickle headcanons please stop 🌝

#Sorry I just need to be upfront abt it #I JUST explained how I’m not “in the fandom” #Like sure I watch it and reblog stuff related to it but I don’t like it like that #The only characters I like are Gummigoo and Jax #And Pomni sometimes #It’s just not my thing man #So please stop #Because I’m just going to delete the asks #Please and thankings you /ref #Emery’s rambles

[pagodazz]

your post abt sexualizing the emh characters and actors was based but lets be real we all skipped the princeton tapes anyway

Im going to be so upfront rn. and don't take any offense I'm not mad or anything but I'm definitely gonna get heated HELP.

I listen to the Princeton tapes almost everyday, I revisit the transcripts often when I want easy access to the dialogue. The Princeton tapes might actually be my favorite part of the everymanHYBRID lore. It's so important to everything you need to know for the whole series and it helps explain so much, especially when it comes to vinnie as character.

the Princeton tapes have so much to offer and I think it's such a shame that this fandom chooses to ignore all the effort that the everymanHYBRID guys put into this series. The Princeton tapes has never failed to make me emotional HELP. it's beautiful shit. So I'm so sorry anon I literally cannot agree with this at all because the Princeton tapes are my absolute everything. I genuinely relate to Princeton Vinnie (& also Roger) more than I might relate to anyone on the channel. They're so real, and I wish more than anything they were more than tapes but at the same time I love it so much it's so perfect.

Also while during my most recent rewatch I've realized that in the series HABIT himself will use quote's and shit that Princeton Vinnie himself has said.

This one always sticks out to me, because it feels like habit pulled those words RIGHT out of Vinnies mouth only to in turn use them on him. Of course the Lexi video predates when the tapes came out, but canonically the tapes happened WAYYYYY before this, considering it takes place in the late 80s.

this goes with my idea that HABIT himself has probably had access to those tapes (atleast at some point) and he did he's research on Mr everyman here. but that one is just my personal opinion and I don't expect people to agree.

While people think that the Princeton tapes are daunting and take too long, they're literally shorter than emh as a whole series if ur watching the right shit.

these videos are basically the full in depth EMH lore and it has videos in it that long since been deleted.

If you're getting into everymanHYBRID and you're not getting into all the lore and then you're gonna go an act like you know everything it's genuinely so??? because you're literally missing out on KEY information.

like did you guys know habit IS in the tapes 😱😱⁉️⁉️⁉️ did you WATCH finding fairmount all the way through????

did you know Evan and Jeff are there ⁉️⁉️⁉️

ALSO ??? PATRICK FROM MLANDERSEN0?????? DUDE???? HES IN THERE. THE RAKE FUCKING TALKS TO VINNIE IN THERE.

did you know that EVEN VINNIES DEAD FUCKING GIRLFRIEND LEXI IS THERE. IT HAS SO MUCH INFO. YOU LEARN WAY MORE SHIT ABOUT FAIRMOUNT AND THE MINETOWN FOUR IN IT. IM GENUINELY SO AT A LOSS RN. HELP IM TOO AUTISTIC FOR THIS ASK. BECAUSE IN NO WORLD WOULD I EVER DREAM OF SKIPPING THE TAPES.

#everymanhybrid #slenderverse #emh #vinnie everyman #vinny everyman #habit emh #habit #evan myers #jeff emh #steph emh #james corenthal #the princeton tapes

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

#evacuating emotional baggage through a long rant that you dont have to read #this post is for me and me alone really. i feel better after writing it. thou rverything is still catastrophic #there will be grace

[hangeuda]

Tom Kaulitz fluff alphabet

A mosquito bit my ass while I was writing this 😭

Activities-what they like to do in their free-time with their s/o:

He will usually just talk and flirt with you. If you want, he'll try and teach you to play the guitar. Or if you're in the band he'll practice with you sometimes.

Beauty-What do they love/admire about their s/o:

He loves everything about you. You're literally perfect to him. But, if he had to choose, he'd say either your eyes or the way you stand up for the people that you love/care about.

Cuddles- How they cuddle with their s/o:

Usually he's the big spoon or laying on your chest. If he's had a long day, he won't ever say it, but he wants you to just hold him and play with his hair.

Dreams-How do they see their future with their s/o:

He loves you a lot and definitely wants to stay with you as long as he can.

Emotions-How do they express their emotions around their s/o:

At first he won't talk about how he feels, but after he broke down in front of you and you comforted him ( I'll write a fic abt it, maybe.) He started talking to you about things more.

Family-Do they want one?if they do when?:

He wants a family with you, but when you guys are a bit older.

Gratitude-How grateful are they in general?Are they aware of what their s/o does for them?:

He is so grateful for you, like believes he is the luckiest guy cause he has you. And he's aware of everything you do for him and y'all's relationship.

Honesty- Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o?Or do they share everything?:

He tells you everything. If there was ever something he's hiding from you, it's either a surprise or a present.

Injury-How would they react if their s/o got hurt:

He loves you a lot and would be so so upset if you got hurt. Even the tiniest scratch freaks him out.

Jokes-Do they like to joke around or prank you?

Yes, he loves pranking you. Him and the band pull pranks on you. Dw you always get him back 🫶🏻

Kiss-Are they a good kisser?What was the first kiss like?:

Obviously he's a good kisser. Y'all first kiss was very needy and shi. (y'all def did the hanky panky 😔🙏)

Love-How do they show you they love you?:

He does literally anything for you. Need something all the way across the city? He's alr on his way.

Marriage-Do they eventually want to get married?If so when?:

I think he wants to get married, but again, when y'all are a bit older.

Nicknames-What do they call their s/o?:

Baby and any other cute German nickname (I'm too lazy to write them all out sorry)

On cloud nine-How are they like when they are in love?Is it obvious to others?How do they express their feelings?

It's so painfully obvious. He stops sleeping and flirting with other girls when he realizes he loves you and he's so sweet to you. Tom and the band def noticed quickly.

PDA-Are they upfront about their relationship?Do they brag with their s/o in front of others?Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?:

Yes, he loves letting people know you're his. Like "yeah, all this is mine. You can look but I'm the only one who can touch". The paparazzi has so many pics of y'all making out or being close to each other. He always has a stupid grin on his face too.

Quirk-Some random ability that they have that is beneficial to the relationship:

No matter how busy his schedule (I nearly had a stroke trying to spell that) is he always makes time for you. He's also super understanding.

Romance-how romantic are they?What would they do to make their s/o happy?Cliche or rather creative?

He'd do anything to make you happy and he can be romantic when he wants. But, imma be honest, he's not very creative.

Support-Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals?Do they believe in them?:

He will support you no matter what you want to do. He's your hype man and #1 fan.

Time-How long did it take for you to get together?:

It took y'all around a week to get together officially.

Understanding-How good do they know their s/o?Are they empathetic?:

He knows you so well, he is so sweet and patient with you. Yes, he is empathetic.

Value-How important is the relationship to them?What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in life?:

He loves you a lot and your relationship means so much to him. Considering it's one of the few long term, serious ones he's been in. But, if he had to choose between you and the band, he'd choose the band.

Wildcard-Random fluff headcanon:

Sometimes when you guys are eating together, he'll wait for you to look away then he'd steal some of your food and act like he doesn't know where it went.

XOXO-Are they very affectionate?Do they love to kiss and cuddle?:

He is extremely affectionate, his hands need to be somewhere on you 25/8. He loves kissing and cuddling you.

Yearning-What they do when their missing their s/o:

Mans fr acts like it's the end of the world when he starts missing you. But, he'll look at your pictures together or listen to a song you like. If his guitar is near and he can play at the moment he might play it.

Zeal-Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship?:

Yes, he'd do pretty much anything for you and really wants y'all's relationship to work.

Holy shit that took fucking forever and I had like 2 strokes while spelling shit, us stupid people out here suffering frfr 😔

#tokio hotel imagine #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz imagines #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz fanfic #tokio hotel x reader #not proofread

[beneathashadytree]

HI omg can i request an x reader where sanji confesses his feelings to reader (reader obviously reciprocates) whilst drunk and he's super emotional abt it all? i feel like he'd be an honest drunk and it's rly cute to think abt :")

INTOXICATED - VINSMOKE SANJI X READER

Warnings : alcohol consumption, hints at Sanji’s personal traumas and self-image issues, Sanji displaying obvious symptoms of PTSD, a lot of curses, Sanji might seem OOC because he’s quite literally shit-faced drunk, this isn’t proofread, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : angst to fluff (I think?)

Word count : 2.2K words (not sorry)

Additional notes : Hi love! So glad you picked Sanji, seeing as he’s (very obviously) my absolute favorite character. Writing this was the highlight of my week, given just how many creative liberties I took with this. I tried to incorporate his own reservations about actual love and his PTSD, without actually divulging much about his backstory (because when has he ever been upfront about his past, really?) I hope I did your lovely request justice, so let me know what you think💗💗

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Heavy thumps in the kitchen had long woken them up, startled out of their sleep and frowning as they dressed themselves up enough to be decent. The only person who dared enter the kitchen at this time of night—3:30 AM it was—was Luffy, and even then the only sounds one could usually hear would be that of him whining after struggling and failing to unlock the fridge. The current noises were rather alarming, to say the least, and they had to mentally prepare themselves for anything to go down.

As they neared the light of the kitchen, they heard another heavy sound of knocking, along with a slew of curses that had them picking up the pace, realizing that the voice belonged to Sanji. If he was in the kitchen at this hour, then it was most likely he needed help with something. After all, what other reason would he have to be in the kitchen so early?

… Apparently, an entirely different reason.

Leaning against the kitchen door, they watched as the usually composed cook lost all gracefulness he possessed, stumbling over the chair he’d clearly overturned while walking around. In one hand he cradled a bottle of hard whiskey, the other leaning heavily against the dining table with the half-empty glass, as he struggled to sit back upright. His blue eyes were glazed over and just the tiniest bit unfocused, an involuntary pout on his lips as he set the bottle down and slumped against the chair.

The sight made their concern grow tenfold, having never seen him so drunk—and on whiskey, too. “You good there, Sanji?”

He jumped a little in his seat, an adorably startled look on his face as he finally noticed their presence by the door. Slowly, his shoulders untensed and his lips relaxed into a dopey smile.

“Oh, ‘s you. Care for a drink with me?” he gestured to the table, “I’ve had three… wait, five?” he mumbled to himself, a small contemplative frown on his face for a second, before he smiled once more, “C’mere, c’mere. Bottle’s good.”

They sighed, perching themself on the chair to his right and leaning over to snatch the bottle from him, much to his dismayed protests. “You’re shit-faced drunk. I don’t think you should be having any more.”

“One more please, ‘kay?” he quietly asked, pushing his glass towards them, “Jus’ one more.”

Eyeing him skeptically, they gave in and began to pour into it. “Alright, but that’s the last one for tonight.”

Within seconds, the blond had downed it in one go, a content smile on his face as he set it down. A trickle of whiskey had dribbled past the corner of his lips, the messiness only serving to make him somehow more enticing to look at. With his flushed cheeks, half-closed eyes, and wet lips, he looked like the perfect picture of tantalization.

Still, with how intoxicated he was, they could only shake their head at him and reach out with their thumb to swipe at his face. “What’s got you in this mess?” they asked, watching as his cheeks grew redder at the skin contact. Cute.

“Wanted a drink, ‘s all,” he slowly replied, eyes hypnotized as they followed them. “Everyone’s asleep, so I could… unwind a bit, y’know?”

Something not unlike sorrow panged in their chest. Seeing him in that state was a little… sad. Their voice was steady as they asked, “Anything on your mind?”

For a few beats he remained silent, his gaze settling on the table and his index finger circling the rim of his glass as he contemplated an answer. When he finally seemed to have decided on something, he simply shrugged. “Fair bit of things, here ‘n there.”

“If… if there’s ever a time you feel like sharing, just know I’ll always listen.” That same feeling thrummed in their chest as they watched him visibly melt, his expression morphing into one they couldn’t recognize but felt indescribably protective of. Something about him in that moment was so vulnerable and almost fragile, that it completely countered his cool-headed, often detached demeanor when it came to matters concerning himself. It’s something they’d always noticed about him, and watching it crumble right now in front of their eyes was precisely why they had trouble breathing.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Sanji groaned, his slurred words both sweet and surprising as he folded his arms on the table and buried his head in them, “Really. What ‘m I gonna do with you?”

Chuckling at his muffled voice, they inched a little closer, a gentle hand on his head and carefully brushing through the soft tresses of his hair. Silky smooth as always, even when he was quite clearly feeling terrible. Everything about him in the moment resembled a cat, and the imagery was too endearing for them not to grin at. “What do you want to do to me, then?”

Propping his head on his hand and causing their own hand to fall and rest on his arm, his eyes flickered to their lips. He was being so painfully obvious that it was nearly impossible for him to hide his intentions like that. “Fair bit of things, here ‘n there,” he mumbled again, before sighing. “You… you make me feel weird.” He glanced up at their eyes, encouraging him to go on, and so he did, his voice growing a little more agitated. “It’s stupid, ‘cause I know. I know I can’t get too attached, because… I’m me.”

“I’m a little confused here. You’re Vinsmoke Sanji, yes?”

“That’s-that’s exactly it,” he frowned, frustration etched onto his face, “I’m not… not built to do… whatever this is, without fucking things up.” Deft fingers reached up to tug at his hair, a tortured look in his eyes. The alcohol might’ve loosened his tongue, but it seemed like it did nothing to quell his muddled thoughts. “But then fucking… looking at you makes me want things that I don’t deserve.”

“Of all the good things on earth, there isn’t a single thing you don’t deserve,” they gently said, squeezing his arm in an affectionate manner that they’d always done to him in passing—something they now realized he’d probably never interpreted correctly. “Sanji, you of all people are supposed to expect kindness and love from those around you. You’re a good, selfless man. What else do you need to do to feel like you’ve earned it?”

“Don’t say stuff like… like this. End up wanting to be a selfish bastard.” He turned away, momentarily brushing a hand over his face as he grunted. “‘S enough that I want you when I can’t have you.”

Their heart was thundering in their ears as the gravity of his words settled. The fact that he was laying everything bare right in front of them without even being aware of doing so had guilt gnawing at their insides, but they knew damn well that if they didn’t give him the opportunity to speak now, he’d chain his words on his tongue and never speak them again. He’d tie himself down with them and take them to the grave if he had to.

“What makes you think you can’t have me, though?” Their question came out quieter than expected, the complexity of their own emotions making it hard to ask.

“Because… I’ll never be loved, and that’s how it is,” Sanji said, before giving them a wobbly, terrible attempt at a smile, when his eyes were shining with unshed tears underneath the warm kitchen lights. “Look at me, all pathetic. Shit, wouldn’t want to be w’ me either. Couldn’t even talk without ‘most a whole fucking bottle. No one wants all that.”

Blinking back the tears in their own eyes, they swallowed thickly. With every words he spoke, he drove a knife deeper in their heart—not out of offense, but out of hurting for him; as though they felt the horrible pain of every laceration at his own self. “You haven’t once asked me if I did. You’re assuming things.”

“Can’t hurt if I don’t… won’t hope for it.” Shrugging, the cook rolled his shoulders back and leaned against the back of his chair, closing his eyes for a second as a tremor ran through his body for a second, before he sharply inhaled and mumbled under his breath. “God, I could fucking use a smoke…”

Fumbling hands went in search of the pack of cigarettes on the table, but theirs settled on top of his, halting him in place and startling him enough to open his eyes. “Tell me what you want with me. Tell me everything you feel, and then some,” they firmly said, fingers wrapping around the back of his hand as they did.

“I—“

“I’m not leaving you alone tonight, Sanji. I’m keeping you company right here.” The intensity in their eyes bore into him, praying that they could reflect every single ounce of determination to stay by his side. “So tell me precisely what it is that you want, and I promise you I won’t shame you for it for a single second.”

His face crumpled, and he hunched over once again, hazy eyes trained on his lap. A beat, then another of silence, before trembling lips parted to speak the words. “Want to… hold you in m’ arms. Kiss you ‘very damn minute till I can’t breathe. Love you, but not hurt for it. Have you love me back ‘n not have to fear—believe ‘m not good ‘nough. Even… even call you mine, without having to worry that I’ll fucking wake up the next day and… and you’ll be gone.” He hadn’t even noticed it, but a lone tear had escaped and trailed down his cheek, as he tried to muster up the strength to look up and smile serenely, but it only looked ridiculous when he didn’t even have it in him to do anything but fall apart at the seams. “Foolish, huh?”

“Yes,” they hummed, hand reaching out to ever-so-tenderly wipe at his cheeks, where the tears were now openly falling, “Truly foolish that you would think that I wouldn’t want that too.”

“Don’t—don’t be cruel,” he chuckled derisively, looking anywhere but at their face as their hand trailed to delicately brush his hair. “Don’t lie just to… comfort me. I’ve long accepted this.”

“Sanji,” their voice was hard as they said his name, hands stilling his face in place before he could turn away and ignore their words. “I mean it when I say that I truly do love you. Don’t let your reservations blind you from realizing that I tell you that every single day without actually saying the words.”

The man sniffled, looking smaller than he ever actually did. Turbulent emotions flitted across his face, and they could almost name every single one of them; stunned disbelief, hesitance, a deep, deep sort of sorrow whose origin they couldn’t precisely pinpoint, and immense hopefulness laced with a silent plea.

Please don’t toy with my feelings. Please don’t feed me false hopes. Please let this be real.

Whether Sanji was begging them or some deity above, they weren’t so sure. They remained patient, letting what they’d just said completely sink in before they could ask for a reply. A minute or two later, they got one in the form of a tentative, slow question as they gently brushed at his brow, an unconscious smile on their face as they traced the curve of it.

He took in a shuddering breath. “Will…will you wait?”

“What for?”

Finally allowing himself some semblance of tranquility and comfort provided by someone else, he leaned into their touch. Something about the eager look in his eyes (yes, even as they hooded over with inebriation and pure emotional exhaustion) sent the warmth pooling in their tummy, and their heart racing in their chest.

“For me to… to tell you ‘verything. ‘Bout me.”

If he’d tried, he would’ve been able to read the sheer relief and unadulterated joy they felt in that moment. They nodded, so quickly that, had the moment not been this fragile, it would’ve almost seemed laughable.

“Take all the time you need,” they reassured him, meaning every word. His eyes began to flutter shut of their own accord, tiredness winning over with the ease that settled over him (and probably encouraged by the bottle of liquor already in him). Once they saw that, and noticed the way he began to sway forward towards the table, their heart went out to him. How he’d functioned with that emotional turmoil the entire time without uttering a single word of what resided inside him, they had no idea.

“Don’t leave,” Sanji murmured weakly, his eyes almost completely shut now as they brushed his hair with their fingers, the fondest smile on their face.

Pulling away just to take his jacket from the back of his chair and fold it underneath his head, they made sure his head was rested comfortably as he slipped into the world of dreams. His breathing began to even, and they felt their heart swell to twice its size at the sight of his usual busyness tamed to absolute stillnes and serenity.

Sidling their chair next to the man they loved so much, they plopped down with the intention of falling asleep beside him; even if they would wake up with a sore neck, they wouldn’t dare leave his side right now. Careful not to wake him up, they pushed his bangs up, exposing both his eyebrows and pressing a feather-light kiss to each, mumbling sweet words against his flushed skin.

“I’ll be with you when you wake, and every day afterwards, Sanji.”

Taglist: @stories-that-shaped-me @finch-ya @wifeofkyojuro

#imagine #oneshot #fluff #anime #angst #one piece #op #strawhats #strawhat pirates #straw hat sanji #one piece x reader #one piece fluff #one piece angst #op x reader #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji angst #vinsmoke sanji fluff #vinsmoke sanji oneshot #sanji #sanji x reader #sanji fluff #sanji angst #sanji oneshot #one piece sanji #one piece vinsmoke sanji #op sanji #op vinsmoke sanji

[22degreehalo]

The more I think about it the more I'm just. obsessed with aroace Yuno!!!!

Like c'mon... 'The wanted wanting the wanter /isn't that just too perfect?' She's not doing this compensated dating because she needs the money or has any huge past trauma, there's something else attracting her: it's that normal relationships feel so fake and dishonest (meanwhile even if her clients get feelings for her, it's not her fault because she was upfront that this is a transactional thing) and with these types she can have full control of what goes on and when and where and why!!!

Which is Also making me think of. Complicated slightly fucked up Yuno+Kazui friendship.

And FIRST OF ALL I'm. very new to this fandom and haven't read Most of the drama CDs hahahaha so this is just my first impression BUT

so she approaches him early (i have no idea if any of this is canon im sso sorry this is just what I want. right now.) because guys like him are common clients (either bc they're divorced and lonely or want to feel young again or whatever) but he's just easygoing abt it but Firm No. ('I'm old enough to be your father.' 'Haha, yeah? Isn't that the point?') And genuinely doesn't seem interested which is kinda annoying but whatever.

So she kinda tries or or two approaches with him, like playing the more sexy role of her second MV, but still he's not giving Anything back At All, and honestly it's weird that she's even trying this hard? Normally it's the other way around??? Like it's not like he can even pay her in here so.

She stews a bit and wonders if she does genuinely have feelings for him finally which'd be both annoying and a relief, and honestly it just Fits that that'd be how these things go lmao that she finally has real legit feelings for a guy with no interest in her. (And Mahiru is probably super excited about it bc this is early when she's still perky and happy and wanting to push them together.)

Maybe at some point Kazui does admit that he feels lonely without someone physically there with him to touch and be close to. So Yuno finally gets him to lie in her lap or vice versa or whatever. But it feels sorta weird. And he gets a bit somber. And wonders aloud if this is what it would've been like to have a daughter.

And she just. Gets up and leaves.

She's had guys say stuff like that before. Sometimes cause they pitied her and wanted to 'save her', which was frustrating, and she'd cut them off immediately. Usually because it was some kinda fucked-up incest roleplay, which she enjoyed; more than most roleplays, actually. The sweet lovey-dovey rps are okay but kinda false and make her feel weirdly guilty; the more messed up ones, she can relax in. Fucked up familial relationships, fucked up romantic relationships: what's the difference?

But Kazui actually meant it. No ulterior sexual or compassionate motives.

She apologises later saying that it's because they never hashed out their red flags or what the scene would be about, but she's the professional here and she didn't make sure that happened so it's her bad. And he just seems to accept that, and says he doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. And seems to mean it.

There's some commonality between them. A willingness to hold themselves back. To not talk about things that people don't want to talk about. This dance of fake affection, until it's impossible to tell what one's true feelings are anymore.

She likes having her relationships set out in clear words, without the actual emotional honesty of having to delve into her own psyche. But now she sort of wants to share things with him, and she has no idea what to do with that. And on his side, he senses some similar circumstances between them, but he still isn't yet able to be honest about what he knows about himself deep down. But maybe if he was, he could talk to her.

There's some talk abt sex among the prisoners. These two are expected to have the most experience, but she's kinda like 'sex is okay. It feels good and it's a means to an end.' And he's weirdly mysterious about it all but claims that his perspective is closest to hers, which confuses everyone else.

And............somehow from that they end up being able to have a conversation about Not Wanting What Society Wants You To Want and the weird relationships you have with all that and the ways you do or don't get what you Actually want, an d it's all very good and meaningful but idk I haven't thought that far yet hahahaha that's as far as I got before I had to type it all up :')))

#milgram #aromantic Yuno

[honeybcj]

heyo! while i was never an anon i did immensely enjoy all your replies to them (and the anons as well ofc)

but im sorry that u had shitty ppl in ur inboxes (from what ive understood in ur reasoning for why ur turning off anons), it frustrates me to no end how dehumanizing the online experience can be, and the awful ways ppl think they can act when theyre “anonymous” (bc tumblr obviously knows- side thought id love if future jobs would be able to pull up d-threat msgs and stuff bc while nsfw stuff isnt anything companies should be concerned abt, i think life threats and otherwise should be! end thought)

i hope that ur inboxes clear up of that negativity (if that’s what it was, or rly whatever it was that caused this action, i hope they leave u alone), and that u can take some time for urself to just remind ur self that UR AMAZING!

ppl fucking suck sometimes. but know that you are an INCREDIBLE writer (genuinely captivated anytime i scroll by ur posts- i have to stop and read), and LOVELY from the sounds of everything!!

as well, if it were bc of like grossly inappropriate stuff that would be socially frowned upon, then ppl need to have a mandatory class in fucking elementary school abt boundaries and the extent to which certain thoughts are to be shared to the masses.

anyways, i send love, hugs, and positivity your way<3

it’s evening where i am so im sending off with a goodnight, or good afternoon, or good morning depending on when u get this!

i hope the fun anons who inspire ur microfic moments send u more ideas:)

hi lovie <3 you have no idea how much this means to me. (i did see your other ask before responding to this one, but i still wanted to be able to thank you and give a little extra clarity on the situation). yes, the other day i did receive an anonymous ask telling me to kill myself for supporting trans people and giving characters trans hcs.

i know i don’t have to explain myself to a single person, but i do want to say that i have worked immensely hard to get to the point where i am mentally and i’ve overcome multiple obstacles in my life that deteriorated my mental health. to have a message like that come through, it really hurt me. i didn’t want to allow myself to slide back into old habits, so i simply turned my anons off for the time being. i’m hoping this will come to a close soon, but i wanted to be upfront and honest about what has been going on.

i appreciate your support and kindness more than anything. it means the absolute world to me to know that there are people that are genuinely kind souls with the best intentions. i’ve been immensely fortunate for the interactions i’ve had on here, and i hate that one comment has ruined to fun and joy for some people, myself included.

one day, i do hope to turn anons back on, but for now, they remain off. giving you a big ole kiss for being such a sweetheart. again, i appreciate you so very much. thank you kindly for you generous words and sweet soul. i hope that you have a great rest of your day/evening. you deserve it <3

#han’s asks #loaf tag

[cutiehoneyyyyyy]

How do you feel about old people being creeps on this shitsite?

uhhh tbqh (this is going to be long so i'm sorry in advance) i have had a few Slightly Popular TM accounts on various platforms since i was a kid and i would not say that tumblr has a particularly bad problem with this but i think that rly comes down to what u urself define as people being creeps and how much of ur personal life u are showing/what u expect to get out of ur interactions w/ people on the platform, and a lot of it also comes down to how u urself are able to navigate the activity u generate

2 expand upon this: i have a lewd girlblog and i am posting pretty risque photos regularly + i am upfront abt my age and so are the people who follow me, so i knew what i was getting into when i made it and can quite honestly tell you that nobody (of any age tbqh) has been an absolute shit creeper 2 me. if anything a lot of ppl have been super supportive & kind (which was not necessarily expected one way or the other bc i was just doing this For Myself TM, and in any case think i am pretty resilient 2 internet backlash as a result of having had popular accounts b4 so i'm grateful for how it has turned out!) but for an example of something that was Creepy And Not Okay, when i had a tiktok i had one scenario where a man in his 50s started stalking me IRL (bc i was filming shit in pretty recognizable public places + lived in a big city so lots of opportunity 4 ppl to realize who/where i am) when i was 14/15 and pretended to be my uncle to get into my school, which was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and definitely crossed a lot of lines 4 me and made me reconsider how i handle stuff online (if u have read my about that is also why i am pretty adamant abt keeping my twitch/stream stuff as far removed from this blog as possible - not rly bc i think it would be a HUGE deal, but bc my following/friends there just know me as a faceless game streamer and i do not think that community needs 2 be aware of who i am 4 it to thrive yknow? those people r following me for my gaming, not what i look like, which is kind of an accomplishment to me tbh)

so when u take into consideration the context, like, teens trying 2 game minding their business but having 2 sift through creeps or like, a literal teenage girl trying 2 just make videos for fun on tiktok but nearly getting kidnapped lmao, that sort of attention (from anyone of any age tbh) is really unacceptable and weird (at best) but can definitely border on dangerous/frightening... so 2 end this (probably way too longwinded) response, there are definitely quite a few ppl who interact w/ me on here who are double my age or w.e but it has never been in a way that has been uninvited based on the content i'm posting- i've had a lot more "unsolicited" creepy dms from boys a lot closer to my age than older men fwiw lmao. like i said, the general reception 2 this blog has been overwhelmingly positive and i've enjoyed my experience here thus far but i am also honestly pretty decent at avoiding uncomfortable interactions bc i've been a girl on the internet for my entire life and this is nothing new

[lovestrucksuggestion]

hey, sorry if this is too much or smth, but i really don't wanna tell anything to my friends i fearike it'd be "too real" AND OBVIOUSLY I WANT IT TO BE REAL BUT, i don't know, i feel like i'll jinx or fuck it up somehow if i tell it;;

hello, again, okay so, a few weeks back we had this thesis project 6 per group and ive had converstaions w all of them except for 1.

by this point i was lamenting over a past love, we werent necessarily together since we were like, idk 14 or smth when it happened and its been 7 years, we kinda drifted apart after graduation since i thought 'it wouldnt last anyway' and i kept rejecting their advances for a year or two, but i still liked them;;; anyway back in 2020 we got in touch again and i told them that i still liked them and i was just dumb and all that and they seemed to return my advances and ofc i asked if they were comfortable and not just going w the flow yknow and they said yes so.

i confessed and they said not yet cause of school stuff but they do like me still and so i said id wait, THEN it was all okay since we joke and all that but they always seem to reject when i ask them directly about us or like even just to meet up or smth, and ofc i get it so i try not to bother them too much until valentine's rolls in and they post smth on ig with them and their friends and theres this girl with a solo shot of her being goofy and smiling and i just.

idk i took it as a sign to stop since he always used to do that w me before so yeh.

and then like with school i just got lost in all it and directed every ounce of my passion so we finished some stuff quite early, theres only 2 big ones of them we needed to do so a member suggested to split the work between us six. one of thems easier than the other so i got grouped with the guy i havent talked to, kinda scared abt it but all was fine. i added him (lets call him graham) on facebook so we could talk in messenger about planning what to do and all that, then after i found that he's friends with another group member who happened to be someone im close with, kinda AND they messaged me so i asked whats up cause i thought it was abt the project and they reply with smth along the lines of "nothing, graham's just rlly overjoyed since u addrd him cause he likes u" AND IM WHAT CAUSE IM P SURE WEVE NEVER MET then he follows it up w "ure his type, smart and hardworking" AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO TELL THAT IM A FALSE ADVERTISEMENT CAUSE IM RLLY NOT ALL THAT AND IM SCARED OF DISAPPOINTING ANYONE

anyway they let it be and i didnt think much of it cause maybe theyre just messing around yknow so nothing much happened, we finished the project and everything's all right until we were grouped for another thing through our society/club whatevr and i was kinda nervous since its my first time meeting them and everything was fun actually turns out it was graham's bday last tuesday so i greeted him and we joked a bit cause wednesday's the club thingy, i didnt even know what he looked like since his pfp's from when he was a kid

wednesday rolls in and im in the library with a friend, a mutual friend of ours and he said hello to me and i was so happy somehow??? I DONT REALLY GET IT MYSELF I USUALLY TAKE SO LONG TO ACCLIMATIZR TO SOMEONE BUT LIKE THE CLUB THINGY WENT WELL AND WE WERE JOKING BY THE END OF THE DAY AND I JUST, i think i like him as well?? he even asked to take a picture with me he seemed so nervous i wanted to hug him I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ITD BE OUR WHOLE GROUP IN THE CLUB but it turns out it wasnt so !!!!!!

thursday comes and we messaged a bit (he chatted first, abt the thesis) we were in a seminar and i was a bit late that day so i was at the back and our other classmates r upfront w him so never really met, until a friend of mine and i were going home and we MET THEM ON THE TRAIN ISTG MY HEART WAS JUMPING UNTIL I GOT HOME SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE WALKING

okay sorry but like, tldr, im a bit afraid that i only "like" him cause he liked me first, yknow after i waited for the previous person and evrything for so long and receiving little to nothing ++ i think his expectation of me's kinda high im neither smart nor hardworking im just anxious all the time so i have to do my work quick or else i'll die and some part of me's still doubting his feelings for me as just a prank cause nsjdhbf idk im not really pretty too so whats up why is this happrning but he's so fucking cute (generally) and i am falling as well and im scared cause we'd be graduating in a year so what if this also doesnt end quite well and i end up losing a friend?

i kinda also wanna just come up to him and invite him for a date but yeh :( and yesterday my phone died and i was stoked to meet him but he wasnt at uni so i was kinda sad then i find out the previous person i like messaged me and idk they were kinda flirty and i feel bad if i leave them again cause ive done it once and i was only left with regrets so what if im just repeating history aaaa its so hard to like manage everything too if graham and i somehow manage to be together im not great at balancing things what if i let him slip away or smth

again sorry for this i just wanted to know what other people think i really wanna shoot my shot at the same time i feel like im a people pleaser so yknow what if im just doing this cause of attention or smth idk huhu thanks in adavmce if u answer this but no hatd feelings if u dont thank u boo

Hello, you seem very stressed out! Please take several deep breaths, put on some calming music and remember that none of this is life or death.

First of all, you're right to let this past love go, it's simply not in the cards and I'm proud of you for recognizing that. Throw the whole man away, if he makes you feel bad(even if he's not doing it on purpose!) you don't need that drama.

I'm not going to diagnose you with anything over the internet, especially not based on one interaction, but I will say that in this ask specifically, you are exhibiting pretty high levels of anxiety and worry that it might be good to speak to a professional about. Your university should have free mental health services, if you have insurance you can call and ask what providers they cover, and failing that, there are many therapists and psychiatrists who offer sliding scale coverage for low income patients.

Alright, now that's done, what needs to happen here is something that I know you will not like, but is pretty much mandatory-you need to have a conversation with Graham. It's okay if it turns out you only like that he's interested in you, and when you get to know him you're less into him. You're not asking him to marry you after all. It's also okay if you're not smart or funny or hardworking (I think you're being too hard on yourself, but even so, it's okay).

If you talk with him and express your interest, you can set a boundary on how you like to be complimented(i.e., low pressure compliments that don't comment on your abilities) and specify if you want something casual just to see how you vibe. Even if you graduate, you might stay together, or you might not. You definitely won't know unless you try.

Also, who cares if you want attention???? you're human, that's totally natural. You're not gonna go to Needy Jail for it.

All that to say:

go to therapy

figure out what you want (in general and from Graham specifically. You can do this in therapy)

stop talking to past love

start talking to Graham about what you want

remember that even if things end up less than ideal, it's okay

#relationship advice #love advice #advice #anxious anon #come back and tell me how it goes!!! #im rooting for you!!!!!

[pansyfemme]

so one of my cats scratched me today and it hurt real bad but now i've got these cool scars on my hand hell yeah

also i've got a project to finish and idk if i'm gonna get the real boost i need to do it right (i Will do it, im just gonna hate it), specially because i thought it was already like 99% done and the teacher hit us with the revelation that it was more complicated than that, she hadn't previously stated it and it was so annoying

i've got like a bunch of crushes going on and im not sure if they're that or if it's my inability to differentiate between platonic and romantic feelings, because i Definitely think about like kissing them and such but only one do i think of more than the others

how have you been doing? got any drama or stories to share? im out of ideas lol

sorry abt the cat scratch! that sucks but scars hell fucking yeah.

big projects in school always suck i hated that part of highschool tbh. It feels like teachers are never upfront as they think they are tbh…

and the crush thing is very relatable. i could not tell u how to tell the difference, i don’t think theres any clear way. at least not one that my aro ass knows.

as for me, im like. sleepy. i worked bascially for ten hours on a painting yesterday and i am. sleepy bc i was up till 2. but im hoping to finish today at least. there is literally never rlly drama in my life, i stay out of shit by the virtue of being a total loner. My brother pisses me off a little as always but i rlly dont need to get into that lmao.. thanks for talkin w me tho, it means a lot

[girl4pay]

hey im in my first year of uni, really struggling, and looking for a therapist. did u find DBT a helpful therapy? i know that i don't want to do CBT, so i've been heavily considerikg DBT

hi love i’m so sorry to hear that! i did find dbt helpful and i do badmouth cbt a lot but without like dumping my whole life story on you i think i and a lot of other people often find cbt based therapy unhelpful and unpleasant to undergo bcus in the hands of a therapist who is less patient or aware than ideally they would be it feels very similar to being emotionally manipulated. my last therapist actually used a lot of cbt tools and i love and adore act (acceptance + commitment therapy) which is i believe an offshoot of cbt, but it was helpful bcus the therapist i had was giving me space to be honest and take my time and decide i wanted to consider other mindsets myself rather than just telling me ‘hey wouldn’t it be helpful if you thought x instead of y?’ like yeah no shit but first we have to get into WHY i think x, what parts of x are creating effects i do not want in my life, which parts of x i still consider reasonable, yadda yadda. i’m saying all this to say that how your therapist administers therapy matters as much as the therapy methods they use. you can think about what specifically you need but just for context i’m going to give you what i think and ask about when looking for therapists: mostly i look for people who radically respect the autonomy of their patients. that can manifest in a lot of ways: you can ask them abt their thoughts on a harm reduction approach to self harm/addiction. you can ask them about HYPOTHETICALLY exactly what would you would need to say that would result in them sectioning you. you can tell them upfront (if its true but i feel like this does end up being true for a lot of people) that it’s likely it will take a couple sessions for you to trust them and you may lie to them. you can ask them about their experience w (x) aspect of yourself (culture/history/sexuality/etc) the first session really should be like a job interview! someone who gets uncomfortable w these questions or is offput or condescending in their answers is v possibly not going to be respecting of your autonomy and treating you like a person throughout your therapy w them, and then no matter what therapy you do it will just feel like being stuck in a room w the worst adult you ever interacted w in your childhood 50 minutes a week. on top of that, once you find someone who DOES respect your autonomy you can tell them abt your concerns about dbt vs cbt and they can explain their methods and you can figure out together if it’s a good fit or if they can tweak their plans or help you find another therapist. i hope this was helpful in getting you support i’m sending you love!

[spiked-mall-goth]

oh my godddd i forgot to give you all the stupid silly life updates after i came backkkkk ugh okay long post now.

these are out of order and i do not care.

went to my favorite used bookstore and came out with some really fun stuff! the lady at the counter is kinda new there and she is just so sweet i love her.

same day i went to half price books and got the first season of the muppet show on dvd!!! i was so excited abt that. i took it up to the counter and the guy working there was like 'shucks, i knew i should have bought it earlier lol. i want to get the whole show on dvd' and i may or may not have autism blasted this poor man with my extensive knowledge of the muppet show dvd releases. he was certainly not expecting me to go on for like two full minutes but he was nice about it :3 (i was killing myself forever for like two days bc whhyyyyyy cant i just be normal to people)

flea market!

very nice lady invited us out to her storage shed bc she recognized me and my brother, and asked if we wanted to go look at her old electronics before she put them out in the front of the store. guess what? i finally got a new vcr dvd combo playyerrrrrr!!!!!!!!! FUCKING YAY. the one in my room has been down since last JULY. so i am no longer menace in the living room!! it was for sure a gamble bc she said she had no idea if it worked or not, but thankfully it did and i got it for ten bucks!

was at my usual dvd store and got a good handful of movies! he recently started selling other things too, like old collectables and shit, so he has a nice glass counter set up. so i go up to the counter to pay and i look down to see an elvira midnight madness giant gila monter tape. so i was like uhhhhhmmm.. how much is she.? and he was like four dollars you interested? and i was like um yea yes please. problem is i always pay in quarters and i need to get some bills out of my wallet. so i just kinda plop my handful of quarters (like five dollars worth) on the counter like sorry about the quarters... and as i was pulling out my wallet he goes 'oh no i dont mind. they all spend. besides i put all of ur quarters in a jar back here' AND THEN PULLED OUT ONE OF THOSE BIG ASS MASON JARSSSSSS. OH MY GOD. anyways... he also started telling me about the two SEPARATE times hes met cassendra peterson.

also i got a coca cola drinking glass. this is not really exciting but it is to me so im mentioning it.

i went to go see the new ghostbusters in theaters! it sucked really badly! also i forgot that ghostbusters is just always lying dormant in my autism brain. please help i am drowning in ghostbusters rn

I GOT A VERY FUN BOOK IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!! ITS A BEHIND THE SCENES MAKING OF BOOK ON HELLRAISER III HELL ON EARTH!!!! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO EXPLODE ITS SO MUCH FUN TO READ OH MY GOD!!! PLUS IT CAME WITH A HELLRAISER BOOKMARK WITH A FILM STILL IN IT!!!! SO COOL EXPLODING FOREVER

speaking of hellraiser iii, my older brother is going to help me digitize my vhs tape so i can then burn it on a cd so i can watch it forever!! i cannot handle the concept of my tape wearing down and losing my special version forever. so i would like to have him preserved b4 it gets to that point.

had birthday dinner last night lol. (my birthday was in january). but it was good!! i went to this little china cafe i grew up eating at, and then we went to the most specialist grocery store!! yayyyyy!!! i got a donut that im eating tonight and a cherry coke and it was so much fun <3 <3. i came home and finished btvs s5 while eating my left over cream cheese rangoons. it was such a good night <3 <3

while i was out last night we went to the dollar store (to purchase said cherry coke) and there were these two sisters in line with their mom, doing sisterly things making fun of each other yada yada. i really wasnt paying attention i was waiting for my younger brother to meet me upfront so i could pay. and then i hear 'noooo!! its not emo!! shes a goth!!' and the older sister is like 'its all the same!' and then younger one was like 'NO ITS NOT!!! i know shes a goth i know it!!!!'. it was so funny i started like laughing in the store, they were like 10-14 and possibly making fun of me but idc. made my day

at one of my favorite thriftstores, they have a new employee. the first time i met her i wasnt quite ready for her to just walk up to me and be like. 'your cool i can tell, i saw a pair of shoes earlier i think you might like' and then walked me over to show me these like fucking gorgeous black studded boots and i was like mouth agap like nooooooooo i wear a size TWELVE in womens shoes :(( and she was like ugh me toooooo i woudlve bought them myself but i wouldve had to remove a few toes lol. and then just walked off ?? i am getting better about talking to strangers in public, but i am still never like ready for it. so anyways, i come back a few weeks later and she sees me and is like HEY! and came over and started chit chatting with me, sh ewas telling me how she used to dress like me in the 80s and how much fun she had and stuff. and im just sitting there looking at this like 50yo christian woman like 'hwuh' bc i cannot stress to you enough that this woman talks faster than light and is so full of energy. and she was telling me about all of her old favorite clothes diys because 'you look like you make your own clothes' and all this stuff. and then she walked off and a few minutes later she came back with her phone and showed me a picture of her in like a full steampunk get up???? like corset and goggles and hat and very large hair and makeup and was like 'yeah this is what i dress like in my spare time, cant commit to full time dress anymore'. idk i just want to all to know that i love this woman so much shes the best.

far less fun my depression nest is back :(( i wanna clean it out but OUCH my legs have been hurting for like eveeerrrr

house sat :Db !! was locked up in a house by myself with a bottle of wine, half a bottle of tequila, a flask of whiskey, a vibrator, and tubi.com . i had a very good time! (also i got paid $130 and food for my four day total stay)

uuhhmmm trying to think if anything else fun happened while i was gone...

i had tacos for dinner! mmm yum!!

OH YEAH I HATE LIVING IN THE SOUTH WHAT THE FUCK. our sink water has smelled and tasted like wet dog for almost a month now. we have a water filter that at least makes the water not smell or taste but there is no WAY that is safe to drink. we had to buy on of those big ass water jugs to wash our dishes with. showers have to be kept to a minimum and we've been relying on hand sanitizer to keep our hand as clean as possible. yes we have called the water company MULTIPLE times. they insist our water is fine <3

i finally got new glasses!!!! i can see now! my prescription doubled in my right eye only! my left literally went up just enough to need a new lens.

okay i think thats long enough lol. love yooouuu mwah mwah mwah

#spikes RAMBLES #DEAR GOD ITS SO LONG SORRY

[a-random-guy-on-the-street]

short review!

its tøp's new song, Next Semester. i immediately listened as it released. i didnt bother reviewing Overcompensate cus i was okay with the song. but this one is a of a let down for me.

(tw for mentions of unaliving oneself)

i love the lyrics. the storytelling on this one i found quite dark and sad but more blatant than usual. tyler isnt new to writing Very Dark topics, but i dont think he's been this upfront with a story. i think hes mostly more descriptive and poetic in the past (?). (i hope im using words correctly, its like ass o-clock as im writing this)

sounds like the songs talking abt a failed suicide attempt or an accident. the narrator talks abt how they sometimes get flashbacks but theyre getting better and wants to start fresh on a new school year. wether hes telling his own story, telling someone else's, or playing a character, is a bit unclear.

compared to other songs hes written within the same topic (i'll say like Guns for Hands or Migraine) hes less descriptive. some songs can be blatant, especially recent ones (like Neon Gravestones and Redecorate) but Next Semester just straight up tells you what happens. not as sugarcoated as vessel or sai, not as poetic as some songs on trench either.

i enjoyed the lyrics quite. but sonically it let me down.

the song starts with what sounds like a rip-off of the ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop". at times, i dont mind stuff like this. pop punk can sound a bit too uniform and im used to it. but tyler sounds so sleepy... it lacks the energy needed to at least elevate a part thats boring and repetitive, especially at the start of a song. this continues for abt half of the song.

the second part is really pretty tho. with the keys and a pickup in energy with tyler Finally waking up his vocals. also a really anthemic chorus with the little "wooooaaaaooohhh" thing. i've listened to this song a total of 4 times after the release and im already singing along. and then theres the ukulele outro. reminds me of like 2018 when i would listen to cavetown, mxmtoon, all that kinda stuff.

i have a feeling Clancy will be another mixed bag of songs.

overall the song sounds very nice but it cant be helped with the fact that it got REALLY dragged down by the first half. it got me thinking, was that punk part really necessary? cus it just didnt fit the vibe (of the lyrics and the second half of the track).

i hope we'll hear better tracks later on.

4/10 -> 5/10

im sorry did i say "short"?

[edit: after listening a few more times, i also appreciated the transitions between parts arent jarring or awkward. also tge song sonically grew on me a little but still not a fan of the first half.]

[theaspers]

inazuma is around the corner and people are still hung up over zhongli giving his gnosis away, stepping down from being an archon and him not being able to tell the traveler abt khaenriah despite him saying that he wishes he could 😌

#somehow i always end up on zhongli slander tiktok and its unpleasant 😐 #sorry if i keep saying this LMAO yall should know im a severe apologist when it comes to my favs 😭🤚🏻 #tired of people being critical and then hiding behind ‘its a joke’ like is it. is it rly 😐 if u wanna be critical then just. be upfront abt #it. like no need to hide behind ‘its a joke’ like yikes

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

#ask #trying this new thing where i tag people in the body of the post instead

[yanderefantasies]

So I was thinking abt the Yan harem and the enemies to love troupe n shit last night in my room

I tend to reenact a lot of stuff I make up (Possible maladaptive daydreaming maybe lol) And oh my GOD I got so heated just thinking about it

Imagine you and your bestie arrive and this manor that makes you play death games over and over again while also having 15+ guys on your friends ass and them trying to kill yours

I like to think survs get revived after they've bleed out or died (Just to keep the drama going yk) So even if they did jump your ass, a day or two later, they'd see you waiting at the lobby table waiting for a new match to start.

An old problem with a new and improved solution (more creative ways to 💀)

I thought of various possible ways for the harem to not stab the reader in the back every five seconds. One of them was the reader giving in and helping the harem out in exchange for some slack.

Reader: Look, I dont want ANY beef with ANY of yall. So let's make a deal.

Naib: I don't want to make any sort of conversation with you

Reader: Then I guess you guys don't want a very useful asset to get to my friend huh

William: Why should we trust you?

Reader: Believe it or not, I'd like some PEACE and QUIET in my life for a change.

Naib: We could just kill you right here if we really wanted to

Reader: Whether you do it or not won't change anything. I'm just gonna come back and annoy yall even more. So let's just call a truce.

Naib: ... Start talking

Then reader goes on to blah blah, I'll slip yall into their room, blah blah, I'll do individual set ups for yall within the month, blah blah, playing lowkey forced match maker.

It may seem messed up to sell out your friend for some insane creeps, but hey, it keeps you from being on Aesop's embalming table.

Buuuutt, after a while of doing this for maybe 2 to 4 months, they start to look at things other than your friend and their shit for once.

Reader: C'mon Norton, it's your day.

Norton: *Follows in silence*

Reader: Don't take anything too obvious, and don't be too loud.

Norton: I know. You don't need to tell me everytime, *Opens the door to your friends private room with a bit of excited force and enters*

Reader: *Closes door behind him* Fucking creep...

Reader's Friend: Oh, Y/n! What are you doing here?

Reader: Holy!- fuck, don't scare me like that F/n.

Reader's friend: Sorry haha. Uh, did you leave something in my room from the last time we hung out? I just saw you close the door.

Reader: Oh, yeah! I just left one of my accessories! You know how forgetful I can be.

Reader's friend: Oh okay. Anyway, if you could move so I could get to my room, that'd be nice-

Reader: Wait! Didn't you just come from a match!?

Reader's friend: Um, yeah, but the Hunter was Michiko, but she didn't injure me. We got a tie.

Reader: Well you must be parched then! Let's go get you something to refresh yourself with!

Reader's friend: Well, no, it's okay, I'm already well adjusted back to good health, I just want to be in my room-

Reader: Don't be Silly! *Turns friend the opposite way* You're probably exhausted from all that running! I would know.

Reader's friend: Y/n, you're acting kind of strange. You've been around a lot of the guys lately. Have they been rough with you again? I saw you've been near Norton this afternoon too.

Reader: What? No, of course not! I've just been getting on better terms with them and making new friends, that's all! And Norton isn't mean at all! He's strong, loyal, and intelligent. His love for crystals and special rocks and stones makes him a charming man! He may seem cold upfront, but he's really just a nice guy once you get to know him...

Reader's friend: Oh well, that's nice to hear. I'm glad you guys are fixing things up. I remember the last time one of you fought. It really wasn't pretty.

Reader: It's okay haha. We're all good teammates now.

Norton: *A cold sweat mess*

He was fucking relieved you didn't snitch or let his darling in.

But he was also glad you praised him.

Aw yeah it's all coming together

They don't really know a lot about your friend since they're all trying to hog them to themselves. Your friend also doesn't really know much about any of the harem guys either because they keep getting thrown in different situations everyday and keep running back to you for help.

But you know a lot about the guys. You obviously needed to know their likes, dislikes, interests, and personalities so you could set them up on, 'coincidental dates' and so you could help them over some relationship hurdles.

Antonio: What do you mean I can't keep them in my room?

Reader: I MEAN THEY'LL BE TRUAMATIZED AND THATS LITERALLY KIDNAPPING-

So once the harem realized, "Oh shit, I have more of an emotional connection with Y/n than with F/n." They're gonna go fucking feral and treat the whole manor apart for a week or two.

How could they betray their one and only darling by falling for another? Yeah, sure you understood them more and helped them resolve some of their relationship issues. And yeah, maybe you did make them regain confidence in themselves and supported them throughout even the most awkwardest dates.

You helped Andrew become less guarded and more comfortable with conversation. He needed it in order to somehow talk to your friend, but instead, it just made him like you more than them.

They don't know him like you do.

Fan and Xie were on the brink of wringing your neck the first time you tried to tell them to regulate their anger and jealousy from showing it openly.

Just bc ur a hunter don't mean you gotta do that-

The only reason you weren't killed in that moment was because you did it in F/n's name. It was incredibly infuriating and difficult, but once you three worked it out to some degree, they found out that your methods calmed them quite a bit.

Without your exercises and guidance, how are they ever gonna go on?

They need you to stay and continue with them.

Once they either burn everything they have that belongs to your friend, or they toss it back into your friends room, your are f u u u c k k e d

When the time comes to confess that they were blinded by your friend and have now opened their eyes to see the your truth, you'll be fucking appalled.

It's probably gonna take a little while before they use force to tell you that now YOU'RE the DARLING.

Reader: You needed to see me Ganji?

Ganji: Yes. There's something I need to talk to you about.

Reader: If it's about F/n and your date, don't worry, I've got it all set up and ready to unfold.

Ganji: No, it's not that.

Reader: Then what? You trying to murder me while you still can to get your anger out or something?

Ganji: ... No

Reader: If it's not about F/n or training, then I'm leaving.

Ganji: No stay, it is about F/n.

Reader: Okay. Spit it out.

Ganji: I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now, but I don't think I have just the right words for it yet. Even then, I can't wait any longer.

Reader: ... Go on.

Ganji: What I'm trying to say is, that, F/n means, lot to you and me, but lately, things have changed.

Reader: What do you mean?

Ganji: *Walks towards you* I mean that, F/n isn't the one I want. They aren't the one I need.

Reader: *tenses up* Then, who?

Ganji: You.

Reader: ...

Reader: If you're trying to fuck with me, it's not working.

Ganji: Why would I try to trick you?

Reader: Um, hello?! Every man here has been chalking up their body counts with mine over the last couple of months. It only stopped when I gave in and started to help yall!

Ganji: But, that was then, and this is now.

Reader: Well I hope it is! Because now, I'm going back to my private room, and leaving this conversation behind. Good night Ganji.

Once this convo happens with at least 4 to 5 guys, you're gonna be crying out of fearrrr

You're friend has been kicked to the curb, and now you've been pushed to the center from the stage wings.

Reader: *sees their friends destroyed things scattered upon their room with a note on their bedside table*

Note: Dear Y/n, It seems you still do not believe me even after our little quarrel, but, do not fret. I've long forgotten about that other survivor. You now fill my mind, and this time, it's true <3

This is evidence of my devotion and affections that are now addressed to you, and only you.

Your forever admirer, Eli Clark

Reader: What. The. Fuck.

Reader: IM SO SCREWED. THIS IS IT. THIS IS KARMA ISN'T IT?! IT'S THE HELL I'VE CREATED FOR MYSELF. BUT STILL, WHYYYYYYYY

Things are gonna get 10x worse lmao

I’ve always despised enemies to lovers since the love in the end never seemed genuine whatsoever- I feel like Reader would constantly assume that they’re either fucking with him, or just gonna kick him to the curb once they find someone new, like they did with his friend.

So it’s just an endless cycle of Reader being scared, angry, confused, and probably sad- assuming that the guys are just lying. Though to them, they really are just in love with Reader- they’ve come to terms with the fact that Reader’s friend honestly wasn’t that good or interesting of a person- they were just blinded by the fact that someone was polite and kind to them for like two seconds.