#T was also one hot drag queen in the Learn To Fly video

[ayakashiramblings]

ABC NSFW Headcanons - Kuya

@dany-ryujin Hope you like it! Kuya is getting up for this... wait, no, that came out wrong... so did the ‘W’ part so if you can, scroll past it.

A - ‘Aftercare’ (What they’re like after sex)

Sleep.

Does this mean I can skip the letter ‘Z’?

Ok, but he will make sure you are also in the mood to konk out. If not, well, he can help with that...

B - ‘Body’ (Body Part of Yours he Loves)

Has a hard time choosing, he loves all of you.

But if he was forced at gunpoint (hopefully not Aoi’s), he would have to say it would be your upper arm.

You know, the fleshy bit? The one that can he can pinch and squeeze like some red bean buns? 

Sobs after reading about Teach.

C - ‘Cum’ (How does his cum taste like/look like)

Bruh, this man lives on ice-cream and omurice.

Unless he has a hidden diet forced by Koga with pineapple juice or something, get ready for the saltiest semen.

On the bright side, he has enough for creampies. In fact, he ejaculates a great amount because he technically has a cloaca which... I suspect could bring added stimulation and amount.

Only does it though if you allow.

D - ‘Dirty Secret’ (DUH)

They say birds can’t fly and have sex at the same time. 

BUT WHO SAID A TENGU CAN’T DREAM?!

E - ‘Experience’ (Does he know what he is doing?)

Nope. None. Nada.

You wanna know why? 

Koga couldn’t even drag him to any ladies. 

Honestly, he’s pretty devoted if you think about it. 

The good news is that he is spontaneous and somehow has great instincts if the kiss in his story at the end wasn’t good enough.

F - ‘Favourite Position’ (Again, duh)

Ok, his favourite position would have to be something that brings maximum pleasure to you and maximum comfiness for him when he wants to sleep with you...

... Like actual sleeping.

So he goes for spooning.

Great for some close, tender cuddling time with an added bonus. All he has to do is tuck one of his wings under his girl, they lay side to side and he can start stimulating her clitoris by hand AND his other wing, pressing up against her from behind. 

Remember, feathers provide extra sensory excitement so he will be caressing you downstairs while sliding in and out. 

G - ‘Goofy’ (Serious or humorous?)

It’s more of his ways of seducing you... that somehow crack you up and also turn you on with his efforts.

Pfft... Kuya tries to learn several mating dances from different kinds of birds to the point when MC (secretly recording) shows the video of it, she just thinks it's some funny move... 

But Koga and the rest know better and start blushing furiously. 

It's only when Aoi accidentally scolds her for showing a 'porno' that Ginnojo shyly offers her a book on the topic.

Yes, they have books on that topic, IKR?

MC rushes over to wherever Kuya is and starts distracting him with sexy times so that he NEVER EVER DOES THAT AGAIN.

Until she learns the dance moves later.

H- ‘Hair under THERE’ (Pubic Hair Treatment, does the carpet match the shades?)

Doesn’t even know what a shaver is.

wHat iS tHat?

After getting more intimate with you though, and if you are more comfortable with him being ‘plucked like his fellow cousin the chicken’, he will trim the bush of black and blue curls. 

Will kinda like to have a couple preening session whereby you both shave each others’ glorious wall of hair. 

I- ‘Intimacy’ (How they are doing the moment, romantic aspects)

He’s actually in the top three for this. 

Cuddling, nuzzling, whispering teasing words and talking about each other’s day (mostly yours) and just the simple act of lying naked together in bed... 

Heck, his eye contact with you makes you blush more than anything else because his gaze is so steady and it’s like he’s looking at the whole world when he does. Plus, his eyes are one of the prettiest. 

He refuses to just let it end with several mere orgasms is all I’m saying.

He did NOT work that hard just for that kind of release. 

J- ‘Jack Off’ (Masturbation)

Sorry peeps. No sexy jack-off here because he is that LEVEL OF LAZY.

Even when he gets together with you and he is getting a serious case of blue balls, he’d rather wait for you to tend to them. 

Grabbing himself feels like he is cheating on you... with himself. 

Kuya, hun. That is not how it works. 

Even mutual masturbation doesn’t work because he wants to completely focus on you unravelling for him, and not get distracted with his own needs. 

K- ‘Kink’ (One or two of his kinks)

I think I have said this before but you being completely ready and needy is already something.

A praise kink. Somehow, the words flow more naturally when he is in the mood and it seems like he doesn’t have to think of some utterly sugary stuff. 

It just spills from his lips.

You fresh out of a bath is great because not only is your skin warm, soft and smelling nice, he gets you dirty after all that cleaning you did.

Then the two of you can have shower sex! Yay!

L- ‘Location’ (Favourite places to do the do)

So long as Koga doesn’t mind the verandah.

Spoiler Alert: He does and pays for a hotel for both of you to goddamn leave.

“You’re the best wingman.”

“GET OUT!!!”

Don’t worry, Koga isn’t mad with you... it’s Kuya who has to worry.

Ok, but really, Kuya would love it in a place with some height to it.

Which is why... his favourite place is the rooftop of your place.

Sorry, Dad.

M- Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you slip… something into his pocket. Your underwear, a condom or an inn key. Boom! You will feel something get excited right next to it.

Because it means you are going commando and only letting HIM feel it, mhmm...

N- ‘No.’ (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Don’t even think about exhibitionism. He needs places to nap with his eyes open. 

And he can’t do that if both of you are kicked out...

O- ‘Oral’ (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Oh god, help. He is... horrible at first. 

Both at receiving and giving. 

He said you had a wrinkle down there the moment he just brushed a feather against you.

Which is why he is bad at receiving. CUS HE DONCH DESERVE IT!

Don’t worry, he learns to give and even alternates.

Slow and steady when he wants you to beg, fast and furious when he wants you to bend and scream.

Helps that he massages you first and pays attention to your inner thighs, mons and labia.

P- ‘Pace’ (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Starts with a nice strip-tease if you still have any clothing left...

Even if you trip during the whole thing.

Laughs while picking you up and rewinding the whole moment, he knows you guys have plenty of time.

Somewhere, Aoi and Koga are screaming.

It better be good enough so that he can fully appreciate everything you have to offer.

Q- ‘Quickie’ (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Nope, too fast. And he can’t guarantee a nap in between. 

Also fears you getting exposed to the others since most quickies happen in random places.

And your naked body is HIS only.

R- ‘Risk’ (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Heck yes/no.

Too much energy = No

Like if he has to be doing all the whipping, with no switches in between, it’s gonna be pretty sad. 

He may act reluctant but somehow, he has gotten you out of those clothes and started trying out the new moves you suggested.

S - ‘Stamina’ (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ironically, one of the highest. 

If you’re up for it, it can be a good whooping 7 times. 

Apparently, the refractory period for him is pretty small.

The thing is, he struggles to contain himself because ho damn, you looking so fine.

So he will try to make sure you are well stimulated so that all he has to do is feel you and let the waves of pleasure ride over the BOTH of you.

T - ‘Toy’ (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

What? Something that can do all the work for him?

Heck yes. 

Probably is the most loyal customer of whatever sex shop there is. Nipple clamps, vibrators, dildos, plugs, floggers... 

Only wants you to review it and sometimes makes use of his wind powers to lift you into an impossible but oh-so-good position that hits your G-spot.

Is a bit shy if you use any on him but will appreciate the gesture... so long as you eventually become the last to be played with. 

U - ‘Unfair’ (how much they like to tease)

Bye-bye. You’re gonna get blown away...

At his remarks. 

Case in point: ‘Wrinkle down there’

He will stop the moment you beg with the breathiest voice possible though.

V - ‘Volume’ (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He might moan if he really is caught up in the moment but he would rather not because he is probably going to make sure you don’t wake up the neighbourhood or something.

So he sticks to expressing himself with heavy pants and muffling himself with giving you a hickey somewhere.

W - ‘Wildcard’ (Random Headcanon)

Him getting together with you ended the Kuga ship. Koga being the cougar.

Get it? Cus, Kuga sounds like...

Yeah, ignore this.

X - ‘X-ray’ (How is the package?)

Straight as an arrow (and again, sinking the Kuga ship). Girth is average but THANK GOD IT IS LONG.

Rocking briefs and his 7 inches. 

Like his geta.

Y - ‘Yearning’ (How high is his sex drive?’)

Imma gonna be honest. I don’t think it’s high compared to the rest.

BUT he can keep up with you. 

Would expect at least once a week but is far too willing to accommodate. 

It’s just that, he finds that any time with you is great and your company is great, clothed or naked.

Z - ‘Zzzz…’ (How fast do they fall asleep?)

... Why was this even needed???

#kuya the tengu #ayakashi romance reborn #ayakashi: romance reborn #ayakashirr #ayakashi rr #ayakashi kuya #arr #voltage inc

[whalefairyfandom12]

Your Love’s a Fucking Drag (But I Need It So Bad)

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different. 

A/N: So I just checked the masterpost and apparently it’s almost been a year since my last chapter. Open apology to Rachel and anyone that still reads this for the massive delay--hopefully I won’t take another year next time haha. Also the Halloween parts are because I was going to post this in October/November until I lost power so enjoy some seasonally appropriate spooks.

Word Count: 3383

tw; language, smoking, smut

co-written with botanistlester

Masterpost

Chapter Ten

There were certain facts in life that were indisputable. Beyonce was queen, Jar Jar Binks was a stain on humanity, water was wet, and Dan Howell was hot. And because it was indisputable acknowledgment of the latter was normal, healthy even. It didn’t mean Phil was gay or anything, just that he had eyes and appreciated aesthetically pleasing things.

So noticing the strangely attractive combination of sexy and adorable that was Dan’s still damp hair was a perfectly heterosexual thing to do. Phil was just confident enough in his masculinity to notice.

Dan was surveying himself in the mirror, arms crossed. A black and white plaid shirt tapered around his waist over a pair of black skinny jeans. “How do I look?” he asked, turning to pose dramatically. It should’ve looked ridiculous--and it did, but Dan broke character, smiling widely enough for his dimple to show and fuck if he didn’t look good.

“Yeah. Really good.” Phil cleared his throat, mouth dry. “You’re leaving your hair curly?”

“I was thinking about embracing the hobbit hair on a more permanent basis.”

“Why?” The word emerged more incredulous than Phil had intended, but the unrelenting curliness of his roommate’s hair had always been one of his favorite subjects of complaint.

Dan made a contemplative sound, reaching for his jacket. “It never stays straight for one. I step outside and if there’s any humidity I look like a deformed hedgehog. And…” he trailed off, shrugging. “I guess it doesn’t look that bad when it’s shorter.” He slung his coat over his arm, popping open the door. “You sure you don’t want to come?”

Phil shook his head. “I don’t want to crash your date,” he said, supportive smile strained.

“What?” Dan blinked at him uncomprehendingly. “What are you talking about?”

“Your romantic evening with Cheryl?”

“We’re just going as friends,” Dan clarified. “We talked a few days ago and realized there was no point in letting something like what happened ruin a perfectly good friendship.” Personally, Phil wasn’t sure how cheating could be summed up as casually as ‘something like this,’ but he nodded anyway. “So you wouldn’t be crashing. I think Jo and Avery are coming too.”

Phil choked on his own spit, book tumbling to the floor. Dan was there in a flash, dusting the cover off and handing it over. “Sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “I was just surprised.” Surprised was putting it lightly, considering one of the last times he’d seen Dan and Avery together they looked like they were going to punch each other. He sighed, making a face as his gaze returned to his English. He did have the whole weekend, and part of him wanted to be there in case anything happened. “Okay,” he said finally. “If you’re sure.”

Dan’s expression lit up. “Positive.”

Phil rolled off the sofa, shoving his feet into his trainers. He wasn’t anywhere as dressed up as Dan, but he figured Illuminati t-shirts were always in style. “One condition, you have to share your popcorn.”

Dan rolled his eyes, lips pressing together in a smile. “And here I thought you actually wanted to spend time with me.”

“I do, but it’s mostly about the food.” Phil ducked through the door, Dan following and locking it behind them. “Did you grab the key?”

Dan jangled the keys in his pocket. “What kind of fool do you take me for?”

“One that usually does.”

The boy elbowed him in the ribs. “Shut up, spork.”

Phil elbowed him back, smiling. Dan’s nicknames devolved on the daily, and he’d be lying if he said they weren’t at least a little endearing. “What movie are we watching?”

“It. I’m excited to see it, but in terms of movies coming out at the end of this year I think I’m more hyped for Star Wars,” Dan said. “I really hope they don’t show the trailer because I’ve been trying not to watch it. I want it to be full immersion.”

“For it to be a ‘star war’ does it have to involve multiple planets or does it just have to happen on a planet far far away?” Phil mused. “Like if someone on Tatooine was learning about World War II would that be a star war or an earth war?”

“I think it has to involve other planets?” Dan said, frowning. “So earth war? I still don’t understand why Kylo Ren built what was basically a clone of the first death star. I get he had a thing for Vadar but that was stupid even for him.”

“I think that’s just called bad writing,” Phil said wryly.

Dan laughed. “I think you’re right. There’s a special place in hell for plot holes. They’re not even a pet peeve anymore--they’re ruining my life.” He pulled out his phone, turning it on to reveal a picture they’d taken at Marzia’s last month. Dan’s arm was slung over his shoulder, free hand making his signature peace sign. Phil had pulled a face at the last minute, crossing his eyes and making a fish mouth. “We’re running a few minutes late,” he said.

“I don’t mind missing the previews.” Phil gave him a wary look. “Are you going to fall off your chair when there’s a jumpscare?”

Dan’s eyes widened in horror. “I hadn’t even thought of that. Jesus.”

“I’ll pretend to spill my Pepsi so no one sees.”

“Thank you Phil. What a true friend.”

“I try.”

“Seriously though,” Dan said, with another glance at his phone. “We were supposed to be there ten minutes ago.”

“I’ll race you there,” Phil offered. “And by race I mean run three meters before collapsing on the ground from lack of exercise.”

Dan was grinning, already getting into position. “It’s on Lester.”

-

“Are you going to make me sleep with all the lights on again?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded. “Protect me dad. And also move over.”

Phil rolled his eyes, sliding further into the booth nonetheless. They were grabbing dinner post movie before heading back to campus, and he was crammed in between Jo and Dan in the middle of the bench. Cheryl and Avery were draped over each other across the table, and the rest of them had come to a mutual agreement not to disrupt them for the sake of everyone’s innocence.

“I didn’t think it was that scary,” Jo said, winding one of the straw wrappers around her finger. “More suspense than horror.”

“I might have some clown related nightmares,” Phil said. “But only for tonight, not the whole week unlike someone I know.” He turned towards Dan, nudging him with his foot. “I could always tie a red balloon to your bed when you’re least expecting it.”

Dan narrowed his eyes. “Only if you want to me to put knives in the cereal.”

“What? Why?”

“Because then,” he said empathetically, face centimeters away from Phil’s. “Maybe you’d learn your lesson Lester.”

“Save the domestic shit for the bedroom,” Avery interrupted loudly. He and Cheryl had finally remembered they were two separate entities and dismounted, though Phil noted with some amusement that their knees were still pressed together under the table.

“Only if you do,” Dan retorted.

Avery huffed amusedly. “Fair point.” Surprisingly, he and Dan had gotten along fine so far. He and Cheryl spent most of the evening off in their own world, and the few interactions had been civil enough.

“Hey Phil.”

Phil looked up at the sound of Cheryl’s voice, chewing on the end of his straw absentmindedly. “Yeah?”

“You’re coming to my party this weekend, right?”

He spat his water onto the placemat, Dan patting him on the back helpfully. “Sorry?”

“Dan already said he was coming,” Cheryl continued.

“I did?”

“--And you can be his plus one! It’ll be so much fun.”

Phil couldn’t help but remember what had happened the last time he’d attended a party Cheryl had promised would be fun. “I’m not really a party kind of person.”

“Please?”

He met Dan’s eyes, raising a questioning eyebrow. Dan inclined his head, shrugging as if to say if you’re in. Resigned, he looked back to Cheryl. Hopefully the alcohol would be stronger this time. “Okay.”

-

Thursday afternoon Phil came home to two boxes of flying saucers, enough Cadbury eggs, Aero bars, and Galaxy chocolate to feed his entire English class, and another box of what he was pretty sure were Maltesers sitting on the floor. Dan was sprawled across the carpet, phone in one hand and a Mars bar in the other.

“I’m glad you remembered to buy food for game night,” Phil said. “But I think you might’ve overdone it a little.”

Dan smiled innocently, holding aloft a bursting bag. Phil didn’t even want to know where he’d been hiding it. “Actually, that’s mine. This is for tonight.”

“I don’t understand how you we haven’t died from a heart attack yet.”

“Says the one who ate all the marshmallows last time we tried to bake.”

“I have no idea what you’re on about.”

“Or the chocolate chips last time I wanted to bake cookies?”

Phil shook his head disapprovingly. “We really need to take care of the mouse problem. They keep eating all of our hard earned ingredients.”

“Yes, because I’m sure the mice have developed opposable thumbs advanced enough to open packaging.”

“It’s possible. Can I at least have a Cadbury egg?” Dan tossed him one wordlessly. “Thanks.” He settled next to the other boy, back resting against the sofa. “Do you want to watch the episode of Riverdale we missed?”

Dan held up a finger in the universal wait for it symbol, pulling his laptop out of his bag and opening it. The page was already queued to the episode, and the cursor hovered over play. “I thought you’d never ask.”

-

Phil adjusted his grip on Susan’s arms, eyes widening in amusement at his reflection. Because he wasn’t already broke enough, he had a slightly unhealthy hobby of investing in strangely wonderful crap that had very little actual use. The stress mushroom had been bad enough, but he thought maybe the inflatable gargoyle could be considered slightly worse. Or better, depending on your point of view.

“What the hell is that?”

Phil patted Susan’s head, beaming. He spun to face Dan, throwing his arms out in a dramatic pose. His inflatable Halloween costume had arrived this morning, but he was only just getting a chance to try it out. “What do you think? It’s for Cheryl’s party.”

“I think it should go back to Hell where it belongs,” Dan said. He reached out and poked Susan’s head, making a face. “Do I even want to know where you found this?”

“Her name is Susan, and you know how Amazon suggests things for you?” Phil shrugged, an impressive feat given his current position.

Dan shook his head. “I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“I think they had a pink version if you’re interested.”

“You know, I think I’m good.”

Phil bent over, giving him a headbutt from Susan. “Try laying on it. It’s really comfortable, actually.”

Dan gave him a look. “No thanks.”

Susan gave him another headbutt. “Come on.” His roommate gave a long suffering sigh, resting his head against the gargoyle’s shoulder. “Weirdly comfy, right?”

Dan sighed, pressing a hand against his forehead. “Yes Phil, I love having an air pump bore a hole into my pocket.”

“It’s okay Susan,” Phil said. He leaned further back and patted one of her horns reassuringly. “I still love you.” He jumped as something vibrated in his pocket, locating his phone. A picture of he and Maria at their senior prom flashed across his screen as he swiped to answer. “Hello?”

“Hey Phil! Are you still coming up this weekend?” Susan knocked into the refrigerator. Shit. Maria correctly took his silence as an answer. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

Phil wondered if it would be too much to ask the floor to swallow him whole. “Maria I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I forgot.”

“So you’re not coming?”

He collapsed on his bed, cradling the phone against his ear. “I was invited to a party this weekend and I said I would go.”

She made a disbelieving sound. “You hate parties. Can’t you just cancel?”

“I would, it’s just…” he glanced towards Dan, who was graciously studying through his phone like it held the basecode of the universe. “I promised Dan I would go.”

There was a pause. Maria’s voice was icy when she spoke again. “Dan, huh? Well you promised me you would visit a month ago and I’m the one you’re dating. Or have you changed your mind?”

“Of course I haven’t changed my mind,” Phil said defensively. Okay, so maybe he’d been bad at remembering to call and he’d almost forgotten to wish her luck on her last exam but he’d been spending a lot of time with Dan lately, and maybe it wasn’t so strange Maria was questioning his feelings.“I love you, Maria. You’re the only person I want to be with.”

Her tone softened fractionally. “I love you too. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten upset. I really am glad you’re making friends. I guess I just miss you.”

Phil winced, shrinking under the guilt. He was really losing points in the boyfriend department. “I miss you too,” he said. “But next weekend I’m all yours. I promise.”

He could hear Maria’s smile through the phone. “I’m holding you to that. Have a good time at your party.”

“Thanks. Happy Halloween.”

“You too. Class is starting, but I’ll talk to you later.”

Phil ended the call and returned his phone to his pocket, waving a hand in front of Dan’s face. “You can stop pretending to play Angry Birds.”

“I never pretend about Angry Birds.” He held up his phone. “I almost beat my high score too.”

“Sorry to kill the streak.”

“Is everything okay? It sounded like it was getting pretty intense.”

Phil sighed, starting to roll over before remembering Susan and thinking better of it. “I completely forgot I was supposed to visit her this weekend.”

“I don’t mind if you’d rather do that,” Dan said. “She is your girlfriend, after all.”

“It’s okay, we rescheduled for next weekend.”

Dan stared at him for a moment, expression uncharacteristically unreadable. “If you’re sure.”

“Positive.” Phil reached for the Susan’s kill switch, watching it the gargoyle deflate. “Remember? It’s going to be the most fun I’ve ever had.”

-

Phil was not having the fun he’d ever had. At least there hadn’t been any crying so in that aspect it was already better than last time, but he supposed that was a pretty low bar. In the end he’d left Susan at home, but he wasn’t sure if he stuck out more being the only person not in costume. He’d worn a Halloween themed jumper at least, and Dan was similarly dressed, but even Avery had made a lame attempt at a zombie costume.

“I feel slightly underdressed,” Dan said, echoing his thoughts. “Maybe we should’ve looked harder for the cat ears.”

“I don’t know,” Phil said. “I think my costume as ‘internet introvert that finally left the house’ is pretty scary.”

Dan laughed before screwing his features into a mask of terror, pressing a hand to his heart and backing against the wall. “Get it away from me! It’s hideous!”

Dan’s laugh was infectious, and for a moment Phil was able to forget the stares from everyone around him and the way his shoulder was plastered uncomfortably to the arm of the person beside him. “You should’ve gone as a rat to embrace your true self.”

“I take back everything I said earlier. You’re a terrible friend.”

Phil shot him a look of pure betrayal, or as close a one as he could muster anyway. “How fickle of you Daniel.”

Dan opened his mouth to respond when a third year shoved him into Phil as she pushed past. Her breath smelled like beer, laugh loud and intoxicated. Phil staggered under her and Dan’s combined weight, bracing himself against the wall and knocking into the man behind him. Dan managed to regain his balance, mouthing an apology. The music swelled as the song switched to an electronic remix of Call Your Girlfriend that was a little too loud to be comfortable. Phil wondered how bad it was that he’d only been here for half an hour and he was ready to leave.

Dan wrinkled his nose, plugging his ears. His lips were moving again, the sound inaudible. Phil made an ‘x’ and pointed to the door, inclining his head in question. Dan frowned, shaking his head. Phil sighed, leaning in. “Do you want to get out of here?” he asked, raising his voice.

Dan looked relieved. “I thought you’d never ask!” he shouted. It was all the warning Phil had before he turned and plunged headfirst into the crowd.

Despite his roommate’s height Phil lost track of him after a few seconds, and quickly found himself pathetically and hopelessly lost. Sweat was starting to gather at the base of his neck, and he stumbled to a halt, standing on his tiptoes and scanning the crowd. Still no Dan--not that he could see or hear him anyway over the blood rushing in his ears that was almost as loud as the music and infinitely more headache inducing, He took a step and tripped over the couple beside him, the boy’s elbow catching him in the throat and knocking the air out of his lungs.

Phil had gotten lost the first and only time he’d ever gone to America. He and his family had taken an afternoon trip to the mall, but he’d gotten distracted by the Pikachu plushies and when he looked again everyone had disappeared. He’d been seven then, but the feeling of abandoned terror was the same.

He forced in a shuddering gasp of air, pulse thudding under his fingertips. The room felt like it was getting hotter, or maybe it’s just him because he can’t breathe and he doesn’t know where the door is or even a bathroom and he can’t find Dan and everything is so loud and he thinks he might die here and--

“Phil!” Dan shoved through the crowd, coming to a halt with visible relief that quickly turned to concern. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, forcing himself to speak past the tightening of his throat. “Outside.” Dan’s expression softened in understanding, and he reached for his hand. The pressure was familiar, grounding and reassuring as Dan led him along the edges of the room to the door. The exit had never looked better, and Phil fumbled for the handle with his free hand, sweat slicked fingers slipping over the brass. Dan nudged him out of the way and pushed it open, ushering him outside.

He relaxed at the first breath of fresh air, sinking against the wall. He exhaled shakily, head resting against the brick to face the stars. From out here he could tune out the music, and he dropped Dan’s hand to wipe his palms against his jeans. “I’m sorry for making you leave,” he said. “I don’t mind if you want to stay.”

Dan smiled, something in the gesture subdued. Guilt twisted at the knowledge that it was probably because of him--because he couldn’t walk the fifteen meters to the door like a normal person without almost having a panic attack. “Trust me, I’m more than happy to leave. Do you feel any better?”

Phil nodded. “A little. Thanks for not leaving.”

“I would only consider it if you actually did put a red balloon in my room. I think we still have Chinese in the fridge,” Dan suggested lightly. “And there’s season two of Stranger Things to finish.”

Phil managed a weak smile. “That sounds great,” he said, conveying as much gratitude in those three words as he could. He wondered what he could’ve possibly done to deserve someone like Dan as his roommate, but whatever it was he was thankful. Somehow he always knew he what he needed, even if Phil himself hadn’t figured it out yet.

Without thinking he reached for Dan’s hand again, falling into step beside him as they headed home.

#ylafdbinisb #your love's a fucking drag (but I need it so bad) #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phan au #fanfic #fanfiction #phanfic au

[cipzi-shop]

Daddy 2020 Mask The One Where I Was In Lockdown T Shirt

It will come out for another year they talked about a Daddy 2020 Mask The One Where I Was In Lockdown T Shirt lotand for those you estimate the LiveWire late last probably is one of the pioneer the pilot dealers so I will be getting the LiveWire for sure next year so if you’re interested in the electric vehicles that me out because I will have a lot of content with the LiveWire when it comes out but it will be out for the year person hears a some more trikes death to you got traction control is trike replacement braking system drag towards the control noted they went away from the air suspension guys they went away from their suspension on the like now know I glad to have you got an adjustable hand adjusted between preload now yes the audio also limits of the 114 guys the regular ultra classic they have a 107 still the blue say is gorgeous guys I shot the CVO’s at the beginning of this video so you want to seeand you can realign this videoand I publish it now by Mr Max on beer for sure I said is a good bid I like John I saw a lot of a last request guysand on to stop every sinand at 50 minutes yeah those are new socks that five I guide the reader to haul the suspense I try glideand add traction controland now the trikes got a big improvement this year were seeing Mario is Mario I night I severally know you got any magenta Chinese got major overall this year thanks guys every sellout thank you very much any last request some Mike legacy yeah I could figure out a is a 48 so I was out of the 48 as is the electric are on the Blue Max as they call it Blue Max nothing different on the Fortier guys you will you will come as a question of the details of the 48 know the 40 I’m sure use a custom paint color so that can you look differently at 48 the 42 usually painted on the minor regular 40 right now they added the case on a 48 the Blue Max different that the custom color that electricity lines on it my favorite like so farand I’m a fan so far the ethics field is newand fresh I think the mass by five to buy a brand new bike this year it was a CDL I like the new CVO road by Xeroxand I seriously but still it’s hard to say guys that I still love my street by special 35 guys in my history by special again yeah the diner is gone sorry I no more Dina guys for United guys out there the new soft those are better for as much as people don’t like to except that then you thought the frame is better than the old Dina’s so suck it upand gastric Bob or low rider Arafat Bob because they are better bikes I got close friend employees are giving her Dina’s right now to get a new soft out because they’re coming to the reality that the new framing is not the frame is better fly guys on the signoff in the uppermost in our if you want to see some new stuff you can realign this videoand check out some of the silicon thought you got The 2020 roadster which is’s performance focused sportsterand I think that indicator of performance is going to be the frontand despite got a outside our frontand from chalets need to build this breaks what those two things do get a lot of confidence under braking getting a lot of suspension performance in your rang a little bit more aggressively the way to achieve is with a little bit stiffer front suspensionand easily get really hard on the brakes not have a lot of break guide to help you control the movement of the bikeand is still this breaks they can really prevent any kind of break fate so when you Canyon Road stopping at high speeds overand over again experience that letter starting to get softerand softer we just saw there that we had Abdul lines going towards the front brakes what those dude is that it is indicated this bike is equipped ABS which is optional on this model the guy a low set of handlebars relatively low barley standards which was in a slightly forward leaning writing position does make you feel it’s for your overall security analog tachometer with the digital speedometer I think I really also indicates the performance focused nature of this bike making tachometer front center in day lets you know exactly where you are me the engine gradsand as you shiftand downshift more accurately little more confidence this is the 3. 5 million words according to Caro we’re taught Lord Acton’s axiom all power corruptsand absolute power corrupts absolutely I believe that when I started these books but I don’t believe it’s always true anymore what I believe is always true about power is that power always reveals when you have enough power to do what you always wanted to do NEC with the guy always wanted to do so that an email that quickly mean the thing we spent the last eight seasons assessing overand are now months late getting to our spicy hot takes a big thingand say the stories don’t need to have a point or weren’t intended to have a point that this was intended to have a point since it ended with Dragon burning the symbol for such a character driven show really the main issue down to that the charactersand we will start with the fact that by the end of the show the Indy outlined a lot of plot points without giving much thought as to how characters might be motivated to reach those plot points to a huge chunk of season eight is spent on dialogue rationalizing plot points that don’t really make sense the student be half as many as a beautiful green snow should do nothing today lifted the moment the case fell the battle was over to a friend that just burned 54 in the county know they don’t make sense of they have to spend a lot of time rationalizing them is on memory keep all the stories in order for the plot to progress as outlined everyone especially characters in earlier seasons were defined by the cunningand intelligent decayand a total dummy woman is my season eight this was you might say foreshadowed in season seven by little fingers downfall which only works of every character involved in the subplot took a bunch of stupid pills that you little finger doesn’t like that Ari is back so he tries to pit the two sisters against each otherand play some surviving for some reason despite knowing what an untrustworthy ass hat he is that I now switcheroo stand accused of metadata stand accused of treason how do you want charges Bayless hello everyone knocks down many an intelligence unit watches this worthless subplot bleed out on the floor because the character of little finger is redundant nowand we don’t know what to do with him so goodbye to it takes Ariand sunset entire season to realize they’re being played over nothing basically but here in season seven everyone cut a case in addendum’s which only worsens in season eight forgot about beerand sleep in the idea that the sisters were on the little fingerand were just playing along the whole time is good head cannon in theory by well here’s a quote from Isaac instead writing plays brand actually seen that clearly got cut a short scene with salsa where she knocks on brands doorand says I need your help or something along those lines so basically as far as I know the story was that it suddenly occurred to something that she had a huge CCTV department at her discretionand it might be a good idea to check with him first before she gets her own sister so he just ranand ran tells her everything she’s known she’s like oh no sounds you have been done duty after the should show that was season five sums onto stand there happy that at least one of the women got to be in charge without having to be put down Michael Geller that if we made for a moment be honest with ourselves her entire character has been one massive train wreck ever since season fiveand little fingers like hey Mary the son of the guy who murdered your entire familyand she’s like all okay this is the fast track to Raytown escapeand in season seven she completes her evolutionand the lady finger stripped of all Pecos because to be in the female empowerment shedding your humanity until you are a stone cold badass but you know the kind you only does some hideously inhumane executions to be clear I am not on the sponsor he trained I just think they popped a squad over her character just like they did everyone else my season eight everyone’s gushing over how smart something is she’s evolved into her final form unlike in earlier seasons where her intelligence would come out for these moments of her being more quick thinking that people expected and it would be bad the amount of ore by her playingand her enemies arrogance so you’ll be outside the gates the bank doesn’t discuss plans for super goes through grace to write to close reading about God’s they see my brother will you pretend she now gets these girl badass moments that built not on the lesson she learned includes landing is set on high sciences earlier defining attributes was her compassion that she cared about people despite the pain she was in the books she never loses essence of compassion but get smarter about figuring out who is worthy of itand who is playing her for their own advantage here in the show that warmth is totally extinguished compassionand appeals to goodness her friends not as a strength but as immature weakness that she needs to outgrow sheep little guy was she dreams you never learn new empowerment sunset doesn’t act like someone who would take pity on a drunk night in Joffrey’s wrath or someone who would have any ounce of empathy for someone like the house like she didn’t seem to something the Crips doesn’t bother trying to call me other womenand children what she did during the siege of King’s Landing in season two new empowerment song to spend the whole battle trash talking to NARA’s between final Dragon Queen who unlike salsa is out there risking her life out the tool will be dead season it keeps telling us what something is she thought that she smart that she shrewd but nothing in her actions support that earlier something would know to keep her mouth shut about someone she was suspicious of me while new empowerment sunset won’t shut up about how much she doesn’t like to NARA’s Y during some of the entire Kings landing storyline keeps herself alive by feigning loyalty to Joffreyand Circe with you paying for the cost have mercy on us all to me even if she did plan on undermining to NARA’s I guess the Indy kind of forgot that one of salsa’s most important lessons is when to feign respect to Delhi what dragons eat anyway whatever they want something evolution mirrors the Starks as a whole the compassionand ability to define the Starks is one of their biggest asset in the end they’re no better than the Lancers’s trust you will don’t know you know she’s not one of us change their house motto from winter is coming to you got mine because that’s female empowerment of the show runners I’m glad I got raped actually Mr the hound it made me a cool girl badass finger stayed in the so something is a northern separatist now for some reason even though now is not the time they remember what happened lost dragons both yet nothing nothing happened when a on the Conger invaded the North Bend the knee immediatelyand join the seven kingdoms without a fightand nobody died the countryside was not burning aided the time was called the King who knelt for a reason I guess someone kinda forgot they remember what happened lost dragons both sworn I read the lowest king in the north was tarring stock human needs my ancestor egg until Gary there are cases to be made for an independent North doing well in the past this whole situation in winter felt we have written for season eight data actually makes pretty good case for United seven kingdoms will you sure dead howling to feed the great the good thing we got to reach a part of the seven kingdoms which also happens to support the nurses claim it wasn’t even that they had it on lot before the NARA showed up with all these mouths to feed this time he wouldn’t have enough food special enough the armies of the North back to defend with how are we going to feed our own people was a problem at the beginning of the season is set upand promptly ignored what dragons eat anyway you know what salsa it doesn’t matter don’t worry your empowered little head about itand join us dragonsand supplies from other regions now that it’s winterand you all have a common enemy you seem determined to dislike like they did yesterdayand will get to the nearest but what they did the sauces depressing sauces only purpose the season is to have an unfounded suspicion of the nearest which only proves to be found in when the nurse does something completely nonsensical otherwise the nurse has essentially given all of her resources to defend winter felt east on the promise of the guy in chargeand salsa still like now I don’t like the cut of her gym Y by the end of the stupid dumb battle of winter felt the nurses prove yourself worthy of being a queen about as well as one can expect in this universe is forging alliances doing battle keeping her promises to her followersand to her allie The stink eye over to NARA’s makes no sense she never even lived to the target area is hurting her family the operative word Matt King burned her grandfatherand uncle to death but she sure did Circe you know their common enemy whose family wiped her own out sauces mistrust of the nurse only makes sense if you’re writing from the end forward telling us she is smartand her intelligence is really just writer clairvoyance giving salsa suspicions without giving her any reason to have them other than the writers know how the show will landand they want something to look smart Dragon Queen does not have to do them or maybe I do know sauces jealous because the nurse is pretty surely they would never come I anyway within the fan favorite recall that my seasoning held late season five is nothing to doand no reason to be here that people like him so here he is planning a different ending for bronze plate when I had some character development seven during the Lutra attack Ron loses his goal in a very symbolic moment even leaves it to risk his life in a big way to save Jamie with no mercenary reason for doing so is this a sign of character development is Braun changing his ways knowand guess who gets the worst subplot of all time you do you do you boys are of goldplated so Circe asked Bron to go murder her brothers as you do she do the trees Bron fast travels to winter felland holds the Met arrow pointand tells them he thinks their side will win because dragons so he blackmails Jamieand Terryand into giving him our God will hike better than okay so for those of you playing the home game high garden is the capital of the reach of the now extinct house Tyrelland the breadbasket of the seven kingdoms the most populous yes there are probably still many Tyrell’s next in line to claim the reach to say nothing of the other great houses in the reach with a much better claim to theand install certain no name is Lord of high garden because of black male under a queen that was only clean for five minutesand yeah that’s going to go over well with all these other lesser houses in the reach high God but okay we do not see Bron again into the finale where not only is now the master of coin money before the rules but hearing is apparently made good on that whole promise made it gunpoint thing so Braun will go to Fargo paramount reach of most of you should have written offand that good night liked Ariana Harris but okay here he is still cooland in a season has turned pretty much all the charactersand the stupid dumb dumb Zakaria situation for shit because the plot needs them to be open there is one character who tactical nosedive probably hurts the most one character was arguably done dirtier than the nearest season it’s Lord Ferris the best there is the master of whispers becomes the master of loud treasonous conversations great creek like Ron Taveras is a fan favorite but the show runners clearly had no idea what to do it after season for because his character starts wildly deviating from his passion but like to stuff you should select to pick up your shit out of I guess in his case they’d figure right around this laterand they did so by making the smartest guy in the realm of total dumb dumb there is in the books wants to instill a guy on the throne who may or may notand probably is not be the lost son of Ray Gardner egg on target areaand the next in line to the throne if we have a target area restoration fans call him saying on the show we don’t have they gone but there is need something to do so at the beginning of season five interiorand cross the narrow sea with the express intent to support the nurse now even though there is totally try to have her assassinated in season 1 last night it asked how to I do would have to be done apparently she’s willing to move past that is when the training of the Eno in a world where executions are routine this seems like kind of a reasonable threat he has tried to have her assassinated beforeand here we are one season later again with poisoning dragons but then in season eight he will she make a sad face at dinner meeting you’re not really getting to me runners I guess she does ignore his shitty advice which has no consistently been shitty ever since they got to West Roseand is in this case as it turns out wrong from a tactical perspective they do in the battle easilyand with minimal casualtiesand know they did next need to restand no food was never an issueand resources were never an issue so why bother having this conversation but there is finds out that John Snow is the actual egg on target areaand was he has the better claim to the throne does what he wantsand you know what is the season for some trees in the well I will dedicate myself to seeing you behind because I want to dragons in the best rationality can come up with Rivera’s wanting to support John over to NARA’s is the philosophy that the best person to rule is the person who specifically doesn’t want to rule if you consider the best to be someone who doesn’t want Robert was neither not local recently have no interest in being well meaning as John keeps failing upward so that tracks mentioned nominally being for the good of the realmand then immediately reversing your state the moment you see a young guy whose neighborhood County love him be like wow yeah that some leadership material right there is a map which makes them more appealing to the rules of Western the problem is only makes sense if you are the audienceand you seen John Snow’s temperament for the last eight seasons there is on the other hand has not there is no reason to like or trust John Snow other than he likedand trusted Ned gas who wasn’t actually his father anyway there’s only just met John Snowand in universe has no reason to think that he’s a better more tempered choice than to NARA’s unless he knows what the audience we the audience know about John Snow but from the outside looking in the narratives all over the place John Snow’s only been in charge of the North for like a weekand it’s kind of been a shit show came back sure what for the first three episodes of season she’s a war hero dragons that sacrifice half for troopsand one of those dragons to save humanity the only thing she doesn’t upset for that mildly questionable is the patient about wanting to takings landing except she’s not wrong about anything mentally have left exhausted the fight better if you have time to restand recuperate well clearly they don’t I promised you I would look you in the yardand speak directly if I ever thought you were making a mistake well maybe your advice shouldn’t have been so uniformly badand maybe he was mad that she went against his advice but that particular advice again ended up being wrong King landing was stupid easy to take because battles are easy now because we need to wrap this shit up the city last time it was attacked by note better than anyone it will for tomorrow’s based on what those dragons have the fortitude of hummingbirds up until now it seemed pretty evenly matched you know whatever Solaris who has sacrificed all the rally much power to the nearest immediately switches sides the second he discovers that there’s a poutyand decisive male alternative with great hair but the nearest has at this point done nothing to make Barris logically want to switch sides one time she went against her advisers advised before this was to save John Snow you know that guy that there is wants to betray to NARA’s forand so he starts telling everyone who John Snow is doing so makes more or less the exact same mistake that led start date in season one only way stupider this is way more recklessand way less motivated than what Ned did in season one John abdicated that other thing you can do I don’t want to never tell John Snow knew a guy who did abdicate until your mama screw this of John Snow Jones there’s a scene in the second episode of game of thrones season one in which John Snow asks Ned Stark met his motherand then responds with this stream burden motion to’s this is eventually going to come to something emotionally charged an important so are you even start with this long section from the moment in many ways John Snow is emblematic of everything wrong with the way the series handled its resolution a big emotional profound set up with the flaccid confusingand meaningless pay off from a plot perspective most of the major letdowns from all of the moment to set up are pretty much tied in the John Snow the Whitewater plot of which John was the key point of view character are plus L equals J the mystery of John’s parentage which kind of indirectly kicked off the plot of the whole show John Snow being brought back from the dead by the Lord of lightand of course John’s love for to NARA’s culminating with her murder done in an uncharacteristically dishonorable way after Johnson is resurrected they keep making this big deal about how he must’ve been brought back for a reason to you wants realize why I don’t know what indeed was the point well considering the call you did during the long night I’m guessing the Lord brought you back so you can blue ball to NARA making her go crazyand ultimately instill brand the broken on the throne good job Lord of late like her plot was this existential threatand been built up for eight seasons predicated on a historical long night that lasted an actual generationand nearly wiped out humanity last generation casos is making was John’s principal antagonistand his main motivation for the run of the show but not only was the big bus easily stepped away by a character that had nothing to do with the Whitewater plot the long night was about as long as a viewing of Titanic with a couple of bathroom breaks downand instead of merely living out humanity it wiped out about one half of one Army seamstress the author argues actually Western Markand we learned that after that’s done it doesn’t enter that the world of men was to preoccupied with political squabbles to worry about an endless fortified zombies because all you need to do in the existential threat is the one special knife of no importance is a recurring problem which ties in with what we were talking about the last episode subverting expectations despite the fact that it doesn’t work for the story are used training as a faceless man builds not at all to this could have been anyone with a strong tenure jump yeah the fact that the 19 focuses is wrap on Brandon John Snow means that Brandon John Snow should have been involved here is a Mina Jones now needed to do this but he needed some resolution other than spending the battle screaming at his new archenemy on the Dragon tended I also saw one idea that Shearman Cheney killed 19 you know bring that old Kingsley are thankful for that would’ve been cooland give Jamie a reason for existing but enough of it made sense John’s main motivation is farting out of existence without any of his involvementand after it’s overand the only thing that has materially changed apart from the bloodletting of a couple of supporting characters is that the nurse finds out about John being a target areaand which not only has nothing to do with the why walkers really think they have in this world it probably would have happened eventually anyway but with regard to John learning the truth about who he is never really reacts to it the King go talk to supervisionand protection of the realm of revelation is momentous especially someone like John Snow whose entire identity was wrapped around his pastor Ness starts Boston installed bus the dog Boston is about the ship. And I saw the importance of being awake and after I had my child I thank God every day for knowing what I know about these fucking every single one of them told their victims what we did is a secret don’t tell mommy or daddy that’s not a roll that’s how they roll but the story I wanted to you about my daughter was when she was an infant she was probably about a month or two old and you know they were people in the family that didn’t that had a problem with me for some reason they would always call DCF and send DCF to my house all the fucking time never came to visit the child will call DCF down these yet that child is sick and needs to be examined when this motherfucker has never been to the house to visit the fucking child once right now is ridiculous in itself so one day I get a call DCF and S Department of child children and families are important so I called these yet is cold it is rainy that they right and the DCM woman says we got an anonymous tip that your daughter was sick and we need to date we need to take a downtown for an examination

Source: Daddy 2020 Mask The One Where I Was In Lockdown T Shirt

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[ask-squiphigh]

I wanna see the headcannons

//Pride day Hc’s about the Squip Squad:

- Rich and Jeremy became really close after the whole squip thing so like, they made T-shirts that kind of match? The Bi Guys T-shirts.

- People think they’re dating and they’re like??? No we’re not????

- Brooke loves to collect things and keeps them for memories and stuff? Yeah she ends up with a bag just full of stuff.

- Jake ends up with so many new pins, you thought his jacket was jingly before? Well it’s really jingly now!

- Somebody said that Michael would probably make a good Drag Queen and homebody just thinks about that for the longest time.

- Chloe said that if he were to actually do it she’d love to do his make up and she’d love to be a drag king.

- For next year’s Pride Chloe and Michael are the best drag King/Queen’s at the pride nobody can stop them.

- Also! They made a float for pride and since they’re so extra they definitely make a float one year. Jake’s making it fly a bit up in the air, Jeremy’s working the heck out of those lights, Chloe turned into this beautiful lion Christine is sitting on top of Chloe singing in Freddie Mercury’s voice and Rich is doing a light show with his fire.

- Michael, Brooke and Jenna are their just dancing together having a blast it’s amazing everyone’s having fun.

- Michael liked to travel through people’s phones and leaves nice messages in them like ‘Have a nice pride!!’ 'Good vibes!’ 'Hope you’re having a good time!!!’

- They’re all just having the best time ever and nothing can stop them.

- They’ve totally gone to Pride in cosplay, and regretted it because it was so hot.

- - At first Michael doesn’t want to go? But it’s not like 'OH I DONT WANT TO!’ It’s like… sounds cool but I just…. Want to stay home, it’s very loud and there’s a lot of people,,,, but they convince him to go anyways! And he ends up having a blast.

- Christine wanted to go since the beginning! She was so pumped for it! But with all the noise and screaming she got like,, sensory overload and Jenna goes out with her until she can calm down, she makes her these make-shift ear plug because!! She was having so much fun!!!! She doesn’t want to leave just yet!!!!! (Bobs burgers anyone?)

- They have to keep an eye on Christine because! There’s so many colors! And she’ll get distracted by the smallest things and sometimes they’ll keep walking and then all of a sudden be like ’????? Where’s Christine????’ And she’s just staring at this really pretty float with so many colors! God she loves colors!

- Jake and Jeremy are like one of the best dancers in the group so when it’s time to dance It’s About To Go Down.

- In pride people also love to show off their powers to people, and the squip squad love to see new powers and powers that are similar to theirs but it’s not like theirs and they learn new techniques! They learn so much at pride too.

- Jake probably accidentally hit somebody in the face while dancing because he got too into it.

- They Squip Squad end the day by going to somebody’s house and ordering pizza and they’ll all just end up in one big cuddle pile.

- Jenna’s also constantly recording everything, people think she’s a YouTuber vlogger or something and try to get into the video but really she just likes to relive happy moments so Hello random stranger! You’re now forever in my video!

- Since Christine has photographic memory she knows how frequents there constantly.

- “Oh hey you’re that one person who dressed up as Ursula and ended up accidentally choking on confetti!!”

- “?? Yeah?? Hello!”

- These are just a few but long story short they have a blast at Pride

#be more chill #michael mell #Jeremy heere #Brooke Lohst #Chloe valentine #Rich Goranski #Jake Dillinger #Christine canigula #Jenna Rollan #squip squad #hcs #these are all rlly messy bc I jotted them down as they came to mind! #god I love them #mod asks #also I'm on mobile sorry abt not being able to put it under a cut!!

[weareinterwet-blog]

Nick Crompton x Hot Dog Man smut

⚠️THIS STORY IS 100% A JOKE⚠️

TRIGGER WARNING: If you are retarded enough to find Jake Paul or any member of Team 10 entertaining and you ACTUALLY enjoy their content, I suggest you click off right the fuck now, we don't need any triggered 12 year olds, we are triggered enough ourselves.

This story contains mature content, and mentions of rape (for like one sentence). Please do not read this if you are under the age of 11 or have not yet learned about The Birds & The Bees. We also make numerous jokes about Nick Crompton's weight.

Now with that out of the way,

Let's get on with this shit show.

HDM= Hot Dog Man

Omniscient POV

    The Team 10™ house was bustling with all the members vlogging and such. Nick Crompton sat in the office, reading an e-mail from a friend who wanted to visit. After he finished reading it, Nick got off his fat ass and waddled into the living room. There he found Jake Paul spread eagle on the couch, taking a break from his latest prank video (taxing work, honestly). Nick knew he had to ask him if the Snapchat king himself, the Hot Dog Man, could come visit. It was the Team 10™ house rules and if he broke any of them Jake would kick his fat ass out.

    "He-Hey lad. Can I invite over, um, a-a friend?" Nick asked in his thicc British accent.

"What kind of 'friend', fat King George?" Jake chuckled.

Oh how Nick hated when Jake's greasy Ohio ass called him that. Fucking cunt.

"Well mate, he's a sensation on Snapchat. We could get a lot of views and advertisements if we collab with him while he visits."

Jake thought about it for a moment. "Well fine Britty Titty. He must collab with us or else you will be kicked out of Team 10™". God he's a fucking dickhead

Nick still put on a fake ass smile. "Thank you chap! This collab will be litty, trust me!".

Nick was filled with excitement. He couldn't wait for his first Grindr hookup, but he couldn't let Jake know. He already had a threesome with the Martinez Twins, and oh boy those pollas de españa were as thicc as Cristiano Ronaldo's thighs, and if Jake wasn't fucking yet another bitch in the other room at the time, all three of them would have been deported.

    Nick had spent the last hour preparing his room for HDM's visit. He made sure to have xxx(tentacion)L condoms and mustard flavored lube in his drawer next to his bed. He already prepped his richard. The juicy Snapchat king would be arriving at 8 pm and him and Team 10™ would be collabing the next day; if Nick's ass could withstand it, that is.

    Nick hoped the neighbors wouldn't call the cops on them during this collab, he wanted to make a good impression on HDM.

~~

(Time skip brought to you by the Martinez Twins thicc pollas.)

~~

    Jake called Nick from the kitchen, saying that the door rung and it was for him. Oh god save me Queen Elizabeth. Nick eagerly jumped out of bed (after many attempts), quickly wiping the jizz on his hands against Jake's door handle when he walked by his room. Take that you Ohio. Fucking. CUNT.

    Nick stomped down the stairs and made his way to the front door, and saw a young girl who was around 15 and probably didn't consent to what Jake Paul was going to do to her probably tight yet virgin pussy.

Probably.

But then he saw him.

He saw that thicc juicy meat encased in that tight ass bun.

The Hot Dog Man.

This part includes mature content. Proceed with caution

HDM calmly strode into the Team 10™ house and greeted the overweight Brit, casually brushing his hand against Nick's outer thigh when he walked by. He then walked over to Jake, who was already getting up on his new bitch.

"FUCKK OH BABY YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ALISSA. GIVE ME HEAD NOW UNDERAGE OHIO SEX SLAVE! THAT PUSSY SOOOOO TIGHT!"

Nick was embarrassed by Jake's extreme act of PDA (Me at school everyday tbh.) and turned over to HDM. "Don't worry, he always does this. His dick is really small (like the authors of this shit's will to live), and he cums in like 6 seconds."

HDM chuckled, "Just like his vines."

After the two settled down from their fit of laughter, HDM started to become curious and asked, "Wait a minute, how do you know that? How do you know his dick is small and he cums in 6 seconds?" he paused, grasping Nick's greasy and supersized fish n chips. Nick was sHooK, and his fish went flying. Holy Cow! The Queen is raising my mEmBEr.

Nick gave HDM a Team 10™ house tour, and even showed him (yO iT'S) Tessa Brooks hardcore masturbating to RiceGum and Alissa Violet's "It's Every Night, Sis" (Let's be real, that was a bop). Ah, how he loved his second yet nightmare of a home.

~~

('Notha time skip brought to you by those crispy fish 'n' chips that Nick shoves down his gullet, and occasionally asshole)

~~

Nick could notice HDM getting impatient. His relish flaps were so dry and crispy. Oh no I have to get them moist and wet.

"I have the 'equipment' set for our 'collab'." Nick casually told him. HDM gave him a smirk that made Nick's piener-wiener even more hard than it already was. With this, Nick dragged HDM to his room.

"Don't worry Niqqi, i brought some extra equipment" HDM said, WHIPping out several ropes, multiple types of gags and WHIPs, and bondage harnesses.

"These may be a bit small for you big boy". He said, taking out the harness.

HDM then reached over to Nick's bedside drawer to look for some lube. He didn't want to hurt him because his ass was probably really tight with all that fat surrounding it.

But once HDM opened the drawer, he was met with a distasteful surprise.

HDM had gone from 💯 to OVER NEIN THOUSAAAAND

(I'm so sorry.)

"FUCKING MUSTARD? DADDY IS GOING TO FUCK YOU WITHOUT LUBE YOU FAT BRITISH FUCK!"

HDM didn't even care about the other Team 10™ members hearing him. He was fucking pissed at Nick.

Nick's face filled with dread. I don't want my pooper to die! But it was far too late.

"Get on that pool table you fucking Wale" HDM said, getting out a ball gag and a bondage harness.

Nick obeyed his new master. I must please his mEmBEr

"Now there Niqqi, daddy will only shove his Ball Park™ mEmBEr into your filthy crumpet asshole if you do as I say and don't cum too early."

Nick obeyed, stripping all his clothes, letting his fat greasy rolls free. He climbed up on the pool table, stomach and dick down, and made a slight crack on the side of the table.

"Now there Niqqi boy, do you have a cock ring lying around?"

Nick shOOk his head. "Ple-please don't WHIP me daddy. Th-there is a-a stale o-o-onion ring (OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS, THEY HAVE LAYERS) that's t-triple fried i-in fish 'n' chip batter. It will keep that hard mEmBEr of yours nice and erect."

"Now you fat fuck, you aren't getting my mEmBEr this easy. One WHIP for you for being a naughty boy."

Nick tried to scream for his life, but HDM was one step ahead of him. He had already secured the ball gag in his big gullet. HDM also secured the bondage harness across the brits flaps and tied a thicc piece of rope that attached the harness to the pool table.

"Resist you fat fucking whore" HDM firmly said, getting his finest leather whip and whipping the brit's asscheeks. They jiggled. Nick's screech was muted by the gag.

~

Nick's screams were slowly becoming moans, and Nick awaited every single WHIPcrack against his bum. Obviously HDM could see him enjoying this, but it is all about his own pleasure first. After another ten minutes, HDM removed the gag from Nick's mouth and untied the rope.

"Flip on your greasy back you fucking teabag. It's daddy's turn to feel the pleasure."

Nick did as told, and allowed his fat flaps to bounce back on the table. HDM tied the rope back on , exposing Nick's hard mEmBEr. HDM climbed on top of Nick's literal pile of fat , almost like an animal. He turned around in an almost 69 position and had his own beefy and ketchupy cock dangling in front of Nick's literal black hole of a mouth.

"You succ it until I tell you to not. If you make daddy cum too early, daddy won't fuck you. If you reject daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you. If you gag in response to daddy's mEmBEr, daddy won't fuck you."

Nick understood, and HDM slowly lowered his mEmBEr into his mouth, almost like a fisherman lowering his fishing pole into a murky ass lake full of fish with mercury poisoning. Nick savored HDM's mEmBEr, licking all around and taking more into his gullet. He even succed so far down, he could taste the stale onion ring at the base mixed with the salty pre-cum and loose pubic hair. Oh I LOVE onion rings.

But HDM wasn't satisfied. Yes, his member was being served to Nick like a bucket of Ohio Fried Chicken™, but he felt Nick wasn't trying hard enough for him. HDM slowly reached his hand to Nick's own stiff mEmBEr, and gave them a few violent and robust tugs. Nick gave a soft moan, and started to lick and succ faster and faster. He pulled his head up to get more and more of HDM's juicy as fuck mEmBEr, which was glazed like an artery-clogging doughnut in pre-cum, and HDM let go of his. He pushed more and more of his meat into Nick's fat fucking gullet, which Nick gladly sluurped up. I love pre-cum and onion rings.

HDM reached over to his bag, which was hung up against the side of the pool table, and grabbed a spiked collar and a huge penis gag, tying the mEmBEr gag to the spiked collar.

"If you resist, you will choke little Niqqi. Now before you take this mEmBEr in, what do you say little fat as fuck bitch?"

Nick hesitated.

"Mah-My coc-collar is po-poppin".

HDM violently strapped the Cock gag into Nick's mouth, and grabbed the mustard lube. He threw it on the floor in disgust. He then reached his hand up to stimulate his little meatball nipples until a stream of fresh ketchup flowed down his hard meaty body. He collected a glop onto his hand and rubbed his cartoon fingers, making them gooey and moist. He shoved his fingers, one by one, into Nick's tight asshole. Nick's flaps, yet strapped down to the table, gave a violent bounce after every thrust. Just like playtime at home.

Nick was very shocked about how long HDM could last. He had been savoring his mEmBEr like a lollipop for over 10 minutes, and HDM only heavily moaned a few times.

"Alright Niqqi, succ me until I almost cum. If daddy cums, daddy won't fuck you, remember? If Niqqi does a good job, daddy may fuck you."

Nick wanted that fucc. He began to consume the mEmBEr as if it were an extra large slurpee from that American fat convenience store 7-11. HDM started to moaaaan.

"SUCC ME HARDER YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKING FUCK."

The obese Brit followed HDM's command and swallowed more of his foot-long™ of a mEmBEr down his gullet. Once HDM's hit the back of Nick's throat, he gagged. This made HDM more angry than he already was at the fact that Nick's fat ass only had mustard lube.

"DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING GAG, YOU WHORE?"

HDM started to vigorously thrust into Nick's mouth, and every time Nick screamed in protest, HDM only went harder

I'm not going to be able to fucking speak tomorrow. Nick thought. This was all too much for him and he was having trouble breathing. Just as he let out another scream that was muffled by HDM's juicy mEmBEr, HDM shoved his mEmBEr all the way into Nick's mouth. He let out an extremely loud moan and busted a fat nUT into the back of Nick's throat. "Swallow all of it." HDM ordered. "Shouldn't be too hard; all you do is eat". Nick followed his command and swallowed all of HDM's thicc and creamy load, and loved the salty yet sweet taste it brought.

"mMM. Tastes so good, Daddy."

As Nick thought the two of them were done and tried to get up, he was met with a forceful push that sent him right back on his greasy back. "Oh we ain't fucking done yet. I still have to fuck your ass; I didn't prepare you for nothing." HDM said with a slight smirk on his face.

Nick gulped. "Y-yes daddy. Of c-c-course."

The sight alone of Nick Crompton's round face red and covered in his own spit made HDM become hard yet again. He even saw a bit of his fresh jizz along Nick's fat fucking lips. HDM got his hands which were pink from the cum and ketchup mixture, and flipped Nick's fat body over, and analyzed his asshole. He adjusted the onion ring on his hard and bulbous mEmBEr to make it even harder.

(Oh boy here it comes.)

Without hesitation, HDM violently thrusted his mEmBEr into Nick's entrance with a profusely loud moan. This caused the Brit to let out a cry of pain and pleasure. "Ooh you're so fucking tight, it almost didn't fit". Nick moaned in response as HDM kept viciously thrusting in and out of Nick's black hole.

~

For five minutes, Nick's ass had been on fire. He thought it would've been nice if HDM could've at least given him a warning before he went full throttle on him. But after those five minutes, oh boy was Nick having the time of his life. Every single move HDM made inside him made Nick scream in pleasure; which he could now do freely without the gag in his mouth.

After another five minutes, Nick felt this shock go through him that he had never felt before. This caused him to let out probably the loudest sound he had ever made in his life. "OOOOOH FUCK DADDY KEEP FUCKING ME LIKE THAT!!".

HDM then angrily slapped Nick's fat ass and shouted "DID I TELL YOU TO FUCKING SPEAK?"

HDM then abruptly pulled out of Nick, which caused him to whine in protest. "I'm sorry daddy, it just felt so good". HDM sighed "Alright, but if you pull that shit I'm leaving this fucking place".

He then continued what he had started, and Nick could feel the wrinkles of HDM's mEmBEr brushing up against his anal walls. It took a few minutes for HDM to reach that special spot again. Once he did, Nick started screaming again. He had never felt this kind of pleasure before, not even when he had the threesome with the Martinez Twins.

~~

(Time skip brought to you by HDM's fat nUT)

~~

After around another 10 minutes of HDM pleasuring Nick Crompton with his juicy foot-long™ mEmBEr, HDM was getting close to expiring, and Nick could sense it.

"The Big thicc daddy is getting close to releasing the 2nd cum, isn't he."

HDM didn't have the energy to yell at Nick again, instead he was overcome by a wave of ecstasy.

"SAY MY NAME, NICK. SAY MY BLOODY FUCKING NAME"

"DA-DADDY, DADDDY DA-DADDY". With one final thrust, HDM exploded deep inside of Nick's asshole, Nick cumming all over his stomach and the floor. Oops, I'll have to clean that up later. He pulled out and they both expired.

"Oh you are such a nasty fucking fat ass bitch"

"I know daddy"

The two lovers were fast asleep on each other, HDM's ketchup mixing with Nick's stomach grease. All of the sudden, Jake Paul and his bitch burst in, followed by all the members of Team 10™

"I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW YOU WEREN'T INTO PEOPLE. YOU ONLY LOVE FOOD YOU FUCKING FAT ASS LITTLE BRITISH CRUMPET CUNT", Jake screamed.

"¿Qué pasa con nuestras pollas españolas?" Emilio asked.

"¿No fuimos suficientes para ti, gordo culo?" Ivan sneered

"WHY DIDN'T YOU RECORD IT FOR ME TO MASTURBATE TO?", Tessa, who was the angriest of all, exclaimed.

"I SWEAR TO GOD WHY DID I MARRY YOU, YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Chance shouted.

~

All of the sudden, Nick wOkE up sporadically and sat up, waking HDM in the process. "What the actual fuck are you doing?" HDM asked, quite annoyed that he was woken up from his deep sleep. "Oh sorry, chap. I had a really bad dream that all the Team 10™ memebers walked in on us". "Oh well, we might as get up, it's almost 9:00am".

Nick reached over to his bedside table and looked at his phone. Oh shit he's right. We have to be down by 10 or I'll be kicked out of Team 10™.

Nick took a breath before he would start his long journey of getting out of bed. Once he tried to get up, he felt the most excruciating pain he had ever felt before in his nether regions. HDM saw his grimace and chortled. "Did daddy do you too hard last night?". "YEA-oWw!" Nick abruptly stopped himself from what he was about to say. "Oww, my fucking throat hurts Jesus Christ". "Don't speak then." HDM said. Nick nodded in agreement.

After twice as many attempts it takes to get out of bed on a normal day, Nick waddled over to get some fresh clothes from his wardrobe. Once he got his way-too-tight clothing on, Nick stomped his way down the stairs to the living room yet again; not even worrying about what HDM was doing.

~

"YoOOOO Nick, I got a surprise for you!" Chance shouted at Nick with a eager smile on his face. Oh for fucks sake.

"Wöt is it mate? A bitch that's more tolerable than Tessa?" He banted back.

"hAha, no. It's much better than that."

"Then wöt is it mate, I have to go see the Ohio cu- I mean Jake so we can start our collab with Hot Dog Man." "Okay, I know it's not food, but it's-!"

All of the sudden Chance pulled out a taser and put it right near Nick Crompton's face and turned it on. Nick shouted with utmost fear. "AH WHAT THE FUCK YOU OHIO CRACKER?!!"

Chance just screeched in response while the other Team 10™ members jumped into the living room; some with cameras, some with more tasers which frightened Nick even more.

"LMAO YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FAT FUCKING FACE!!" Anthony yelled putting the camera in Nick's face.

"Good job, Hubby. You got him real good." Tessa said to Chance with her annoying southern accent.

"Alright, Alright. Let's settle down now, we have to start filming our collab with Hot Dog Man." Jake addressed to the rambunctious 20-year-olds. For once he's actually said something I agree with.

~~

(Time skip brought to you by Jake Paul's quality content)

~~

After Chance and Emilio set up the equipment for the video, the rest of the Team 10™ members and HDM sat down outside to start filming the video. They would be filming a "Truth or Dare" and it would be going on Jake's channel, of course. Nick hoped the Team 10™ wouldn't get too rowdy, as the neighbors would call the cops on them again.

"This should be fun, shouldn't it?" HDM asked Nick, slapping a hand on his lower back; knowing it would cause Nick a great pain. He winced. "Y-yeah."

~

When Tessa was about to pull out her second dare, all the Team 10™ members all turned their heads to the loud knock that could be heard from the fence followed by a loud voice bellowing,

"HEY, YOU FUCKERS. DO YOU MIND SHUTTING THE FUCK UP FOR ONE GODDAMN DAY. SOME OF US HAVE NORMAL LIVES AND YOU GUYS ARE PISSING US THE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR CHILDISH SCREECHES!"

"Oh fuck off!" Nick replied back, and they all laughed and continued on with the video. HDM smiled at him.

The fucking end

I am sincerely sorry if you read this thing all the way through. Welp, that's all folks.

#badsmut #jake paul #logan paul #nick crompton #memes #hotdogman #hot dog man #food #team 10 #tessa brooks #alissa violet #rice gum #leafyishere #sjw #gay #lgbt #bodypositivity #communism #capitalism #sad #depressed #trigger #safespace #feminism #martinez twins #boi #emoji movie #the long haul #not my rodrick #mood

[cynthiajayusa]

What’s Hot: South Florida: Aug. 31 – Sep. 4

Thursday, August 31

The Boardwalk presents the GRAND Finals for Golden Boy. The 10 preliminary week winners will come back to compete for the $1,000 in cash chosen by the audience with the secret ballots you receive at the door.

Friday, September 1

The Pride Center at Equality Park presents a fundraiser from 5-8p.m. at Flip Flops Dockside Eatery. Donate $10 to the Pride Center and choose a free cocktail or appetizer. This event is sponsored by Foresters Financial.

The Boardwalk invites everyone to celebrate Labor Day Weekend with them as they feature Adult Male Film Star Jaxton Wheeler live and in person with 2 shows nightly and a meet and greet tonight, Saturday and Sunday.

Club Fort Lauderdale presents is annual coupon sale from today until September 10, where for $84 you get 9 visits instead of 7.

Saturday, September 2

Kash Patel and Asta Parking presents live in concert, Bollywood singing sensation Shreya Ghoshal with full grand symphony orchestra from India at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. This is the only show in Florida, with tickets starting at $45 at BrowardCenter.org.

Rumors presents the Beer Olympics at 1 p.m. to benefit the Smart Ride. There will be six tournament style games with 12 teams of six members each. The cost is $10 per member and there will be a gold, silver and bronze winner.

The Ramrod presents Pig Dance #109 (first Saturday of every month). This month stars DJ Vlexxx from 10p.m. to 3a.m.

The Club Fort Lauderdale features their monthly (Due to popular demand, NOW BI-MONTHLY) Res-Erection Naked Blackout event at 10 PM. This is always a sold-out event so get there early! In addition from today through and including Monday they feature a free poolside luncheon at 1p.m.

The Manor Complex presents, A Black Fort Lauderdale Weekend event: “XXX-Treme,” starring DJ Tony Moran. In the Ivy Dance Lounge and Patio, Noche Latina Saturdays presents special guests Sasha Lords and Kalah Mendoza, along with DJ Larry Larr and sexy Latin Go-Go papi’s. Saturdays at the Manor are from 11pm to 4am and feature NO COVER before midnight and only $7 with Manor card after midnight and $10 without (18-20 is $12 all night).

WATCH:

Sunday, September 3

Gary Santis presents the 19th annual Black Fort Lauderdale event at the Manor nightclub. The once a year event will star DJ Tracy Young and direct from RuPaul’s Drag Race Adore Delano. General admission is $15 through Sept 1, and $20 thereafter, and VIP is $20 through Sept 1 and $25 thereafter. VIP includes VIP entrance, photo with Adore and a private bar; (limited availability so buy them now at Showclix.com.

Flip Flops Dockside Eatery presents its monthly T Dance, the only T dance in Fort Lauderdale on the Intracoastal. The party is from 4-7 p.m, hosted by Amanda Austin with DJ Robert Lavalle. This month’s special guests are Melissa Hilton, Dee Dee Van Carter, and Fantasia Royale.

Monday, September 4

VH1 announced “Ricky Martin: Behind The Vegas Residency” will premiere tonight at 10p.m. This one-hour special will give viewers access to Ricky Martin’s seven week preparation for his Vegas residency. Every candid moment, career flashback and intimate encounter with his friends and family will give fans an up close look. 

Kickstarter Campaign

Local recording artist Shemuwel LaVoz has started a kickstarter page in order to fund the full production of his new song “We Will Exist”.  The lyrics speak to the importance of living from the inside, the importance of feeding and learning and developing the power of his spirit.  How each of us going through that process becomes more aware of how similar we are in our differences.  It’s about overcoming obstacles and learning to fly in the fullness of our authenticity.  This song is meant to speak peace and success to the tumultuous world we now live in.  The song has received high praise as a demo, and has been compared to “We Are The World.” The Demo has been remixed by Tracy young, Gustavo Scorpio, Ryan Maragh, Ranny Zamperlini & Drew G.  Each donation tier comes with its own unique reward or rewards (photo, downloads, etc.).

Upcoming Event

On Sunday, September 23, the Ramrod will be celebrating their 23rd anniversary with a balloon drop at midnight, with $1,000 in cash and prizes, and as always the free Ramrod 2017 anniversary pins.

Hot Stuff

Courtyard Café is celebrating their 10th anniversary with a $500 scratch and win instant game. The game starts September 1 and ends when all tickets are gone. In addition, Courtyard Café is now serving liquor. Congrats to Shawn, Nick and the entire Courtyard staff on 10 fab years!

Check out Care Resource’s “Health Connection” live-feed show. The latest episode titled, “Growing to Further Serve South Florida” includes Stewart Stein, Practice Manager with Care Resource. He discusses Dr. Canas MD and Associates becoming part of Care Resource. The episode also includes information about how the health center is expanding by building state-of-the-art facilities. Their bi-weekly live-feed video series on Facebook and YouTube titled “The Health Connection ” airs every other Wednesday at approximately 1p.m. The show features their health center’s Medical Providers, expert staff and local community partners presenting some of the latest health information in an interactive setting on a wide variety of topics and more. Make sure to tune-in, engage online, interact and ask questions in real-time.

This is HOT

MADONNA announced that her record-breaking Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour will be released September 15, by Eagle Vision on digital download, DVD and Blu-ray complete with bonus content, and an audio CD of highlights from the much-heralded tour. 

The Material Girl will also release a live album featuring 22 songs from the Rebel Heart Tour, available on double CD and digital download.

The Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film was recorded around the world and features both live and behind the scenes material, as well as previously unreleased footage culminating with performances at the Qudos Bank Arena (formerly known as the Allphones Arena) in Sydney, Australia in March of 2016.  Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour is co-directed by Danny Tull and Nathan Rissman, both of whom have worked extensively with Madonna on her feature films and tour movies.  The DVD Cover art was designed by Madonna fan @_AldoDiaz.  

The track list for Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film and live concert album span all decades of the iconic superstar’s illustrious career, including songs from her chart-topping Rebel Heart album to classic fan favorites. Of particular note to longtime fans will be the new interpretations of some of Madonna’s timeless hits.

Praise includes: Madonna is Unstoppable (New York Times); Doesn’t Miss a Beat (Washington Post); the Queen of Pop…an inspirational figure (LA Weekly); the ultimate professional (Entertainment Weekly); on fire (Rolling Stone); an authoritative diva far from the end of her reign (Time Out New York); the genre’s greatest icon (Boston Herald); immeasurable (Detroit News); Queen of the World (Willamette Week); bigger, if not better than ever (San Diego Union-Tribune).

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/08/30/whats-hot-south-florida-aug-31-sep-4/ from Hot Spots Magazine http://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2017/08/whats-hot-south-florida-aug-31-sep-4.html

[demitgibbs]

What’s Hot: South Florida: Aug. 31 – Sep. 4

Thursday, August 31

The Boardwalk presents the GRAND Finals for Golden Boy. The 10 preliminary week winners will come back to compete for the $1,000 in cash chosen by the audience with the secret ballots you receive at the door.

Friday, September 1

The Pride Center at Equality Park presents a fundraiser from 5-8p.m. at Flip Flops Dockside Eatery. Donate $10 to the Pride Center and choose a free cocktail or appetizer. This event is sponsored by Foresters Financial.

The Boardwalk invites everyone to celebrate Labor Day Weekend with them as they feature Adult Male Film Star Jaxton Wheeler live and in person with 2 shows nightly and a meet and greet tonight, Saturday and Sunday.

Club Fort Lauderdale presents is annual coupon sale from today until September 10, where for $84 you get 9 visits instead of 7.

Saturday, September 2

Kash Patel and Asta Parking presents live in concert, Bollywood singing sensation Shreya Ghoshal with full grand symphony orchestra from India at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. This is the only show in Florida, with tickets starting at $45 at BrowardCenter.org.

Rumors presents the Beer Olympics at 1 p.m. to benefit the Smart Ride. There will be six tournament style games with 12 teams of six members each. The cost is $10 per member and there will be a gold, silver and bronze winner.

The Ramrod presents Pig Dance #109 (first Saturday of every month). This month stars DJ Vlexxx from 10p.m. to 3a.m.

The Club Fort Lauderdale features their monthly (Due to popular demand, NOW BI-MONTHLY) Res-Erection Naked Blackout event at 10 PM. This is always a sold-out event so get there early! In addition from today through and including Monday they feature a free poolside luncheon at 1p.m.

The Manor Complex presents, A Black Fort Lauderdale Weekend event: “XXX-Treme,” starring DJ Tony Moran. In the Ivy Dance Lounge and Patio, Noche Latina Saturdays presents special guests Sasha Lords and Kalah Mendoza, along with DJ Larry Larr and sexy Latin Go-Go papi’s. Saturdays at the Manor are from 11pm to 4am and feature NO COVER before midnight and only $7 with Manor card after midnight and $10 without (18-20 is $12 all night).

WATCH:

Sunday, September 3

Gary Santis presents the 19th annual Black Fort Lauderdale event at the Manor nightclub. The once a year event will star DJ Tracy Young and direct from RuPaul’s Drag Race Adore Delano. General admission is $15 through Sept 1, and $20 thereafter, and VIP is $20 through Sept 1 and $25 thereafter. VIP includes VIP entrance, photo with Adore and a private bar; (limited availability so buy them now at Showclix.com.

Flip Flops Dockside Eatery presents its monthly T Dance, the only T dance in Fort Lauderdale on the Intracoastal. The party is from 4-7 p.m, hosted by Amanda Austin with DJ Robert Lavalle. This month’s special guests are Melissa Hilton, Dee Dee Van Carter, and Fantasia Royale.

Monday, September 4

VH1 announced “Ricky Martin: Behind The Vegas Residency” will premiere tonight at 10p.m. This one-hour special will give viewers access to Ricky Martin’s seven week preparation for his Vegas residency. Every candid moment, career flashback and intimate encounter with his friends and family will give fans an up close look. 

Kickstarter Campaign

Local recording artist Shemuwel LaVoz has started a kickstarter page in order to fund the full production of his new song “We Will Exist”.  The lyrics speak to the importance of living from the inside, the importance of feeding and learning and developing the power of his spirit.  How each of us going through that process becomes more aware of how similar we are in our differences.  It’s about overcoming obstacles and learning to fly in the fullness of our authenticity.  This song is meant to speak peace and success to the tumultuous world we now live in.  The song has received high praise as a demo, and has been compared to “We Are The World.” The Demo has been remixed by Tracy young, Gustavo Scorpio, Ryan Maragh, Ranny Zamperlini & Drew G.  Each donation tier comes with its own unique reward or rewards (photo, downloads, etc.).

Upcoming Event

On Sunday, September 23, the Ramrod will be celebrating their 23rd anniversary with a balloon drop at midnight, with $1,000 in cash and prizes, and as always the free Ramrod 2017 anniversary pins.

Hot Stuff

Courtyard Café is celebrating their 10th anniversary with a $500 scratch and win instant game. The game starts September 1 and ends when all tickets are gone. In addition, Courtyard Café is now serving liquor. Congrats to Shawn, Nick and the entire Courtyard staff on 10 fab years!

Check out Care Resource’s “Health Connection” live-feed show. The latest episode titled, “Growing to Further Serve South Florida” includes Stewart Stein, Practice Manager with Care Resource. He discusses Dr. Canas MD and Associates becoming part of Care Resource. The episode also includes information about how the health center is expanding by building state-of-the-art facilities. Their bi-weekly live-feed video series on Facebook and YouTube titled “The Health Connection ” airs every other Wednesday at approximately 1p.m. The show features their health center’s Medical Providers, expert staff and local community partners presenting some of the latest health information in an interactive setting on a wide variety of topics and more. Make sure to tune-in, engage online, interact and ask questions in real-time.

This is HOT

MADONNA announced that her record-breaking Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour will be released September 15, by Eagle Vision on digital download, DVD and Blu-ray complete with bonus content, and an audio CD of highlights from the much-heralded tour. 

The Material Girl will also release a live album featuring 22 songs from the Rebel Heart Tour, available on double CD and digital download.

The Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film was recorded around the world and features both live and behind the scenes material, as well as previously unreleased footage culminating with performances at the Qudos Bank Arena (formerly known as the Allphones Arena) in Sydney, Australia in March of 2016.  Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour is co-directed by Danny Tull and Nathan Rissman, both of whom have worked extensively with Madonna on her feature films and tour movies.  The DVD Cover art was designed by Madonna fan @_AldoDiaz.  

The track list for Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film and live concert album span all decades of the iconic superstar’s illustrious career, including songs from her chart-topping Rebel Heart album to classic fan favorites. Of particular note to longtime fans will be the new interpretations of some of Madonna’s timeless hits.

Praise includes: Madonna is Unstoppable (New York Times); Doesn’t Miss a Beat (Washington Post); the Queen of Pop…an inspirational figure (LA Weekly); the ultimate professional (Entertainment Weekly); on fire (Rolling Stone); an authoritative diva far from the end of her reign (Time Out New York); the genre’s greatest icon (Boston Herald); immeasurable (Detroit News); Queen of the World (Willamette Week); bigger, if not better than ever (San Diego Union-Tribune).

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/08/30/whats-hot-south-florida-aug-31-sep-4/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/164793069125

[hotspotsmagazine]

What’s Hot: South Florida: Aug. 31 – Sep. 4

Thursday, August 31

The Boardwalk presents the GRAND Finals for Golden Boy. The 10 preliminary week winners will come back to compete for the $1,000 in cash chosen by the audience with the secret ballots you receive at the door.

Friday, September 1

The Pride Center at Equality Park presents a fundraiser from 5-8p.m. at Flip Flops Dockside Eatery. Donate $10 to the Pride Center and choose a free cocktail or appetizer. This event is sponsored by Foresters Financial.

The Boardwalk invites everyone to celebrate Labor Day Weekend with them as they feature Adult Male Film Star Jaxton Wheeler live and in person with 2 shows nightly and a meet and greet tonight, Saturday and Sunday.

Club Fort Lauderdale presents is annual coupon sale from today until September 10, where for $84 you get 9 visits instead of 7.

Saturday, September 2

Kash Patel and Asta Parking presents live in concert, Bollywood singing sensation Shreya Ghoshal with full grand symphony orchestra from India at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. This is the only show in Florida, with tickets starting at $45 at BrowardCenter.org.

Rumors presents the Beer Olympics at 1 p.m. to benefit the Smart Ride. There will be six tournament style games with 12 teams of six members each. The cost is $10 per member and there will be a gold, silver and bronze winner.

The Ramrod presents Pig Dance #109 (first Saturday of every month). This month stars DJ Vlexxx from 10p.m. to 3a.m.

The Club Fort Lauderdale features their monthly (Due to popular demand, NOW BI-MONTHLY) Res-Erection Naked Blackout event at 10 PM. This is always a sold-out event so get there early! In addition from today through and including Monday they feature a free poolside luncheon at 1p.m.

The Manor Complex presents, A Black Fort Lauderdale Weekend event: “XXX-Treme,” starring DJ Tony Moran. In the Ivy Dance Lounge and Patio, Noche Latina Saturdays presents special guests Sasha Lords and Kalah Mendoza, along with DJ Larry Larr and sexy Latin Go-Go papi’s. Saturdays at the Manor are from 11pm to 4am and feature NO COVER before midnight and only $7 with Manor card after midnight and $10 without (18-20 is $12 all night).

WATCH:

Sunday, September 3

Gary Santis presents the 19th annual Black Fort Lauderdale event at the Manor nightclub. The once a year event will star DJ Tracy Young and direct from RuPaul’s Drag Race Adore Delano. General admission is $15 through Sept 1, and $20 thereafter, and VIP is $20 through Sept 1 and $25 thereafter. VIP includes VIP entrance, photo with Adore and a private bar; (limited availability so buy them now at Showclix.com.

Flip Flops Dockside Eatery presents its monthly T Dance, the only T dance in Fort Lauderdale on the Intracoastal. The party is from 4-7 p.m, hosted by Amanda Austin with DJ Robert Lavalle. This month’s special guests are Melissa Hilton, Dee Dee Van Carter, and Fantasia Royale.

Monday, September 4

VH1 announced “Ricky Martin: Behind The Vegas Residency” will premiere tonight at 10p.m. This one-hour special will give viewers access to Ricky Martin’s seven week preparation for his Vegas residency. Every candid moment, career flashback and intimate encounter with his friends and family will give fans an up close look. 

Kickstarter Campaign

Local recording artist Shemuwel LaVoz has started a kickstarter page in order to fund the full production of his new song “We Will Exist”.  The lyrics speak to the importance of living from the inside, the importance of feeding and learning and developing the power of his spirit.  How each of us going through that process becomes more aware of how similar we are in our differences.  It’s about overcoming obstacles and learning to fly in the fullness of our authenticity.  This song is meant to speak peace and success to the tumultuous world we now live in.  The song has received high praise as a demo, and has been compared to “We Are The World.” The Demo has been remixed by Tracy young, Gustavo Scorpio, Ryan Maragh, Ranny Zamperlini & Drew G.  Each donation tier comes with its own unique reward or rewards (photo, downloads, etc.).

Upcoming Event

On Sunday, September 23, the Ramrod will be celebrating their 23rd anniversary with a balloon drop at midnight, with $1,000 in cash and prizes, and as always the free Ramrod 2017 anniversary pins.

Hot Stuff

Courtyard Café is celebrating their 10th anniversary with a $500 scratch and win instant game. The game starts September 1 and ends when all tickets are gone. In addition, Courtyard Café is now serving liquor. Congrats to Shawn, Nick and the entire Courtyard staff on 10 fab years!

Check out Care Resource’s “Health Connection” live-feed show. The latest episode titled, “Growing to Further Serve South Florida” includes Stewart Stein, Practice Manager with Care Resource. He discusses Dr. Canas MD and Associates becoming part of Care Resource. The episode also includes information about how the health center is expanding by building state-of-the-art facilities. Their bi-weekly live-feed video series on Facebook and YouTube titled “The Health Connection ” airs every other Wednesday at approximately 1p.m. The show features their health center’s Medical Providers, expert staff and local community partners presenting some of the latest health information in an interactive setting on a wide variety of topics and more. Make sure to tune-in, engage online, interact and ask questions in real-time.

This is HOT

MADONNA announced that her record-breaking Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour will be released September 15, by Eagle Vision on digital download, DVD and Blu-ray complete with bonus content, and an audio CD of highlights from the much-heralded tour. 

The Material Girl will also release a live album featuring 22 songs from the Rebel Heart Tour, available on double CD and digital download.

The Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film was recorded around the world and features both live and behind the scenes material, as well as previously unreleased footage culminating with performances at the Qudos Bank Arena (formerly known as the Allphones Arena) in Sydney, Australia in March of 2016.  Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour is co-directed by Danny Tull and Nathan Rissman, both of whom have worked extensively with Madonna on her feature films and tour movies.  The DVD Cover art was designed by Madonna fan @_AldoDiaz.  

The track list for Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour film and live concert album span all decades of the iconic superstar’s illustrious career, including songs from her chart-topping Rebel Heart album to classic fan favorites. Of particular note to longtime fans will be the new interpretations of some of Madonna’s timeless hits.

Praise includes: Madonna is Unstoppable (New York Times); Doesn’t Miss a Beat (Washington Post); the Queen of Pop…an inspirational figure (LA Weekly); the ultimate professional (Entertainment Weekly); on fire (Rolling Stone); an authoritative diva far from the end of her reign (Time Out New York); the genre’s greatest icon (Boston Herald); immeasurable (Detroit News); Queen of the World (Willamette Week); bigger, if not better than ever (San Diego Union-Tribune).

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/08/30/whats-hot-south-florida-aug-31-sep-4/