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livingdarwinaward · 5 years

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Watch the Time

This is, believe it or not, based off of this @just-shower-thoughts post.

TW: death, death of a parent, violence

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Be careful of when you use the watch. The more you use it, the faster your time runs out, my father had said when he gifted it to me. And I had been, until I’d come home from school one day to find my father dead on the floor, his watch stopped on zero, and strange men in the house with guns.

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20 years, 5 months, 7 days, 3 hours, 23 minutes

4:47 p.m.

The house loomed over the forest, a monument to ancient wealth. I jogged down the road toward it on my way home from school. Goddamn Mr. Jones, I thought. He’d refused to change my grade for a test where I just knew I’d gotten everything right, but he’d marked seven wrong.

I unlocked the door and walked in, about to call for my dad when I heard footsteps. Too many, too heavy. People had broken in. I walked as quietly as I could through the entry to the living room, nearly tripping on something. Someone, actually. My dad. I stared at his body, then noticed his watch on the ground next to him. 00:00. He’d used his time, and I watched as the face changed to the time on the clock in the hall. I grabbed my own watch.

Everything became a blur after that. I vaguely remembered grabbing a knife from the kitchen after I’d thumbed the button on my watch to stop time. I still remember the way I’d crept through the rooms of the house, tracking down the men who’d broken in. The clearest memory I had as I ran to the next town, then the next, and more after that, was the feeling of vindictive rage and satisfaction as the knife slit the men’s throats.

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I’d drifted after that, surviving on the money and clothes I’d brought from the house in my grief filled flight. I’d wallowed for a few days after I’d come down from the adrenalin that had pervaded in the immediate aftermath, then I’d shoved those feelings down as far as possible and did my best to survive.

I ran out of money a few weeks later, and used my watch to steal more when I absolutely needed it. I tried to avoid stealing, but I didn’t shy away from using my watch to help people. News reports showed up about an ‘invisible vigilante’ stopping crimes across every town I went through.

Bodies piled up and I didn’t care. Nor did I care about how much time I was using.

Then the mercenary work started.

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19 years, 3 months, 17 days, 13 hours, 2 minutes

3:14 a.m.

The man had said that this job would be fairly simple-- just finding and bringing a particular gun to a drop location across the city.

I stood outside the gang headquarters and took a deep breath. After I pressed the button on my watch, I slipped inside and through the hallways, cursing when I realized that I hadn’t been told where the gun was.

The building was big, and the halls were mazelike. I continued to grumble as I stalked through them in search of something small enough that it could be hidden almost anywhere in the rooms I went through.

“I think I can rule out any storage rooms if he needs a very specific gun,” I told myself. If it was that special of a gun, I figured it would be kept separate.

One door caught my eye as I walked past. The door was ornate, but there were what looked like badly patched holes all over it. I opened the door. Inside the room, a man was behind a desk and staring down another, and the man near the door looked terrified. I decided to start my search in the desk. In the first drawer I opened, I found the gun. It lay on top of a file and near a few really nice knives. It wasn’t hard to make the decision to take one knife to replace my own shitty little pocketknife. I took the gun and the plainest of the knives.

Deciding to take no chances with getting caught, I walked across the city to the drop spot without restarting time. Dropping the gun, I made myself scarce and restarted everything.

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My mercenary work continued, as did my vigilante work. Years passed. I no longer paid much attention to how much time I had left, and nearly forgot my father. I heard from people around town that the local gangs were getting more and more aggressive between them. From what I’d heard and gathered from my employers and jobs, my actions were providing a lot of the reasons for the increasing aggression.

I didn’t care much for the gangs, but I did my best to make sure as few people were caught in the crossfires of the rivalry as possible, and that formed a large amount of my own vigilante work.

Things went well, for the most part. At least until one assignment went very wrong.

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9 years, 7 months, 15 days, 2 hours, 47 minutes

3:35 p.m.

In hindsight, some of my time saving methods may have been a bit too risky. I could have sworn I'd been out of range of the security cameras on the gang's compound when I'd stopped time, but I wasn't. Apparently.

It was also obvious (now) that the gang I'd been working against actually looked at the security footage.

Now here I was, sitting in a shitty holding cell in the basement of the compound because they'd seen the footage and even before my next assignment one of the gang members had seen me in the street and nabbed me. They took my watch, too. Damn them.

It took me a bit too long to realize that my cellmate was a bit too still. Way too still, actually. He wasn't even breathing. I thought he was dead for a while, then I realized that nothing else was moving or making sound. Time had stopped.

Shit. They used my watch. I didn't quite know how the watch worked when someone other than me used it, but I hoped it wouldn't have some sort of bad effect. With my luck, they froze with the rest of time and I’m just stuck here with no way out. I had no weapons on me-- the gang had taken those along with my watch and basically everything else that wasn’t my clothes. I looked at the door. Solid metal. I was in no way strong enough to break it down.

When I got up to look at it, I caught a glimpse of a hinge that looked weak. I pushed on the door near the hinges. When all of the hinges rattled, I grinned. One of the hinges had a loose pin that had rattled and seemed to loosen. I tugged on it, and it loosened a bit more. Another few minutes allowed me to completely wiggle it free.

Eventually I got all of the hinges free and got the door open from there. After I gave the other man in my cell a last look, I left the cell and went through the compound in search of my watch.

I’d started my search in the offices of the base, and when I got to the office with the bullet-riddled door, I peered in.

The leader of the gang was standing in front of his second-in-command holding my watch and looking angry. Both people in the room were frozen in time. The gang leader seemed to be frozen mid word. I walked forward and plucked my watch from his hand, then caught sight of the man’s hand pointing toward some papers on the desk. I looked at the papers, curious. Then I cursed, grabbed them, and fled.

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I hadn’t just fled the gang’s compound. I had stopped by my hiding places throughout the city and gathered all of my supplies before fleeing the city altogether. Just like the time my father had been killed, I left in a daze. I’d only seen a glimpse of the papers, just enough to see my father’s name. When I made it nearly halfway across the country from where I’d started, I finally resumed time.

When I read the papers fully, I found myself in a rage. Apparently the gang I’d been working against had been the ones to kill my father after their services had been bought by some anonymous sponsor.

I wanted revenge.

Finding who had called on the gang to kill my father took years of careful investigation, but I eventually found them. An old man-- a disgraced police chief who had been corrupt, working with gangs to build his fortune with agreements to never arrest any of them for it being his main crime. My father had apparently uncovered his crimes and he’d been fired and my father had been awarded much of his fortune, and when he’d come out of jail, he’d gotten his revenge.

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12 days, 7 hours, 2 minutes.

5:45 p.m.

I’d just finished dismantling the gang, only leaving the leader alive. He wouldn’t be for very long. I stepped into his office, and grinned when I saw him frozen in the middle. I pulled out my knife.

After I’d finished with the gang leader, I started time again-- just temporarily, just to give all of them time to die, and so I could deliver my message to the gang leader. Then I paused time again.

I dragged the body of the gang leader to the woods, making sure I left no trail. Once there, I unloaded my supplies: a shovel and pickaxe. Then I got to work.

Twelve hours later, I looked down at the hole I’d dug, then threw the body down it. I set off to find a deer in the woods. When I found one, I killed it and butchered it, making sure to be sloppy. I threw the meat down the hole with the body, them mostly filled in the hole. When there was only a little bit left, I put the deer bones into the hole and finished covering it.

Then I made my way to the old man’s house.

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I looked at my watch. I had five minutes left. Jimmying open the lock on the front door and creeping up the stairs to find the old man, I grinned to myself. This was all I needed for revenge.

When I got to the room the old man was in, I slipped in and restarted time. The old man jumped about a mile in the air when I seemed to appear out of thin air in front of him.

“Who are you?”

“You killed my father.” I said, pulling a knife. “That’s all you need to know.”

The old man spread his arms. “Well I would like to know what to call my would be killer. It’s just polite, you know?”

“I haven’t told anyone my name in years-- why would that change now?” I asked him.

“Because I’d like to know who you are avenging.”

I looked at my watch. Thirty seconds left. “Enough talk,” I snarled, then lunged forward with my knife while pressing the button on my watch. Time froze, and I plunged my knife in the old man’s chest.

I restarted time, then leaned down to the man’s ear. “I don’t have a name. Not anymore. Call me Morrigan.”

As the man took his last breath, I stood up and looked at my watch.

Five seconds.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Then everything went black.

#writing #my writing #fantasy #original #time travel #sort of #why is mr. jones the only character in this to actually get a name #magic #urban fantasy #referenced violence #referenced death #vigilante #vigilantism #revenge #running away #grief

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daihell · 6 years

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For the Best Chapter 9

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The Venatori was dead. That knowledge should have been more satisfying than it was. In the end, however, it still left them here, with Elden still wounded, shivering violently and fading fast with no guarantee of survival and all Dorian could do was wrap him protectively in his arms. He just hoped that Elden could find some measure of peace, knowing that the person who had done this to him was dead and could never harm him again, for whatever that was worth.

For Dorian’s part, he wouldn’t find peace until they were back at Skyhold with Elden on the mend and he wouldn’t accept anything less. He would not lose Elden, not now, not when they were so close. And if death was inevitable, Dorian wasn’t going to give in without a fight. He could feel Elden going slack in his arms, still trembling, so he picked him up as gently as he could and carried him back to the stretcher. He laid him down, pulling off his own cloak to drape over Elden before checking his pulse. It was there, if faint, thank the Maker.

The battle wasn’t over yet, more red templars were already arriving and Dorian knew they had to get out of there. Every second they were held up might be Elden’s last. As he surveyed the scene, Cassandra suddenly appeared as his side, taking the rope tied to the litter. With her dragging Elden, Dorian was free to blaze a trail, quite literally as he let loose a fireball into a cluster of red templars. They broke through the line as they charged ahead, Dorian feeling a pang of guilt as the majority of their little group remained behind to cover their retreat.

It wasn’t enough though. The templars just kept coming, breaking through the ranks of their allies and giving chase. Dorian paused long enough to get a shot off, causing spikes of ice to shoot up out of the ground, skewering a few templars. But then the sound of rustling branches in the tree above startled him and he spun around, hand already wreathed in fire, barely stopping himself in time when Sera dropped to the ground beside him.

“Maker, Sera, you’re going to give me a heart attack. Maybe this isn’t the best time to sneak up on me.”

“Yeah, good to see you too, where’ve you been?”

“We got a bit held up,” Dorian said.

“Tell us when we’re back at Skyhold,” Bull shouted as he and the others that had been separated from them since rescuing Elden ran past him and Dorian was fairly certain he’d never been so relieved to see them all.

As they positioned themselves on the path, ready to receive the templars, Dorian turned and sprinted after Cassandra and Elden and the scouts still with them. When he caught up, Elden looked so pale. Dorian felt like he couldn’t breath as he begged the Maker and anyone else who might be listening not to take him, not now, not yet. And when Skyhold finally came into view, Dorian couldn’t even bring himself to feel relief, knowing that he could still lose Elden even without the threat of templars.

Skyhold erupted into chaos the moment they crossed the gate, confusion and fear at the sight of the Inquisitor, but Dorian hardly paid them any mind. He was vaguely aware of Cassandra yelling commands, preparing to go back out there to assist their friends.The rest of them didn’t even stop, several soldiers simply heaving the makeshift litter up onto their shoulders so they could carry Elden inside. Dorian followed close behind. No one tried to turn him away and he wasn’t sure if his determination showed or if they were all simply in too much of a hurry to even notice his presence.

To Dorian, it felt like he had been sitting there in the corner of Elden’s room for hours and still nothing was certain. Someone had come by at some point to see to his own wounds, and while he had tried to wave them away, he hadn’t had the energy to really put up a fight. He let them do their job, as pointless as it was. He only had a few cuts, some patches of skin on his face and arm that had been exposed to the elements too long, burned red and blistering from the cold. It would have healed on its own given time.

Dorian’s eyes never left Elden’s bed. He could barely see him through the cluster of healers around him but he kept straining to catch a glimpse. He wasn’t sure if he expected to see Elden lying there, ashen, no longer breathing, or completely well, smiling at him as if nothing had happened.

Vivienne arrived at some point, taking charge of the healers who came and went despite how drained she looked. No doubt the others who had stayed behind to fight were back as well but Dorian couldn’t leave as much as he wanted to assure himself that they were alive. He couldn’t leave Elden.

It took Dorian by surprise when the healers filed out, leaving him and Vivienne alone with Elden. He stood and approached slowly, his breath catching in his throat, terrified of what he might see. Elden was alive, lying shirtless on his bed, nothing evident externally to indicate the trauma he had been through. And yet he was so still, his chest barely rising and falling with his shallow breaths.

Was this it? After everything Elden had suffered, would he truly die here, slipping away in complete silence? He’d always known that not everyone would be getting out of this war alive, but not like this, not consumed from the inside, mind and body, left empty and still until he simply wasted away. It was too cruel. Elden was so full of life, he was good and kind and never deserved so much better than this.

“There was more damage than expected,” she said. “We’ve done all we can, all that’s left is to wait.”

Dorian nodded, feeling numb. “Go rest, I’ll watch him for a time.”

Perhaps Vivienne knew arguing was pointless or she was simply too tired because she left him there, staring down at Elden. The door had barely closed when the tears began to fall. It wasn’t fair. Life never was, though. It kept taking the good out of the world, first Felix and now possibly even Elden. And once again Dorian was left to helplessly watch as the people he cared for most, that deserved life and happiness more than anyone, slowly wasted away. There was fury and rage, but it gave way to a hopeless emptiness as he took Elden’s hand, holding it tightly as he curled in on himself, shaking in silent sobs.

Dorian never left Elden’s side if he could help it. The inner circle stopped by to see Elden from time to time, for whatever good that would do, and the healers had scheduled visits throughout the day and night so he wasn’t exactly needed there, but he didn’t care. Servants brought him food that Dorian often forgot to eat and Varric brought him his documents containing everything he knew about red lyrium, everything he’d learned trying to cure his brother. It wasn’t even certain that the notes would be relevant since Elden was human, not dwarven, but at least it was something for Dorian to do.

The healers were keeping him stable, but there was no guarantee he’d ever regain consciousness, that his mind and body could ever properly recover from the damage the corruption had caused. A week had past when Elden’s eyes finally opened. Dorian hadn’t even noticed at first, so intent on the book he was reading, but slight movement caught his attention and his heart felt like it might stop, feeling relief and apprehension in equal measure.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked, trying to hide the urgency and desperation in his voice as Elden turned to look at him.

“Dorian?” Elden said in confusion and Dorian wasn’t entirely sure if that was due to uncertainty of the answer or simply a reaction to the odd question.

“Do you know where we are?” Dorian asked next, feeling hopeful despite himself. He could speak, he was aware, surely these were good signs. He sat forward and took Elden’s hand, book forgotten as it fell to the floor.

Elden glanced at the room before answering. “Skyhold. We made it.” He closed his eyes with a relieved sigh before his eyes shot open again and he looked to Dorian again in concern. “What about the others? Are they--”

“All fine,” Dorian soothed.

It was just like Elden to worry about others despite the state he was in and honestly that did wonders to reassure Dorian. The relief he felt was profound and he sighed, letting out a breath he felt like he had been holding for years, silently whispering a prayer of thanks as he lowered his head suddenly feeling exhausted, bringing a hand up to wipe at his aching eyes.

Dorian had imagined so many different scenarios of how this could have played out; Elden trapped in a nightmare forever, seeing friends as demons, or perhaps he would simply be empty, no spark behind those bright green eyes, unable to speak or function on his own. But he was awake and aware and Dorian couldn’t be more overjoyed. No doubt Elden was thirsty as well. He helped him sit up enough to press a potion to his lips before laying him down again.

“I imagine, by the end of this, we’re all going to be sick of the taste of elfroot,” Dorian joked, the silence getting to him. Elden looked completely exhausted, the simple movement leaving him wrecked, so Dorian pulled the blanks up and tucked him back in. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake next.”

It looked as though Elden might say something, but he was simply too tired and quickly fell asleep. Dorian was left with his thoughts, which he was growing increasingly tired of. Now that he felt hopeful for Elden’s condition, he couldn’t help but think of other things. Like whether or not he had any right to be here now, to see Elden like this. They weren’t in a relationship any longer, did he have any right to stay at his side? Would Elden even want him nearby?

Although Dorian supposed he would gladly accept Elden figuratively casting him out of his room if it meant he was well enough to do so. Not that Elden ever would. He was much too kind. And right now, he was still weak and Dorian had no plans to leave him alone. Elden had wanted him there before and Dorian wouldn’t go as long as that still might be the case. And someone needed to keep an eye on him.

A cold breeze prickled at Dorian’s skin, rousing him where he had fallen asleep in the chair at the inquisitor’s bedside. He shivered, trying to remember if he’d left a window open, but as he sat up, his gaze fell on the empty bed and he froze. Panicked, he was on his feet in an instant, looking wildly around. He spotted Elden standing there on the balcony which was a relief, but he was so still it was unsettling.

Dorian was at his side in mere moments, gently taking Elden’s arm and leading him back into the room, closing and locking the balcony just to be safe. Elden hadn't looked as though he’d planned to jump, but Dorian had no intention of risking it, not with memories of Elden standing on the cliff’s edge so fresh in his mind. Besides, Elden’s skin was cold to the touch, a startling contrast to the burning fever he’d had so far.

“Let’s get you back to bed, shall we?” Dorian suggested. Elden looked dazed and barely seemed to comprehend what he was saying. “You really shouldn’t be out for a stroll, you know. I’ve never seen a patient so determined to tear their stitches. You best be careful or Vivienne might not sew you up next time.”

“Is this real?” Elden asked, looking more through him than at him. “Did I really get away?”

“Yes,” Dorian said as soothingly as he could. “She’s dead, remember? She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I thought— I thought I was back there. I don’t—“

He looked so lost and confused. All Dorian could do was put an arm around him and guide him into bed. “It’ll be alright, you’re safe, you just need to rest.”

“And you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yes,” Dorian said, before second guessing himself, worrying that that might not have been the answer he’d wanted. “If you want me to be, that is?”

“Please,” Elden whispered, his eyes already sliding closed as if they were far too heavy to remain open a second longer. “I’m scared, what if this is the dream?”

“Shh, I know,” Dorian said, bundling Elden in blankets, using his magic to warn the room again. He took Elden’s hand and held it tightly between both of his. “You’re safe now. No one can hurt you now. Just rest.”

In the morning, when the healers arrived, Elden was in good health, seeming alert and present to all of their relief. After so long terrified and on edge, Dorian felt like he could collapse. When had he last gotten a full night’s sleep? He couldn’t bring himself to believe it was all truly fine, however. What if there was some other complication? What if the red lyrium had taken hold after all and suddenly reappeared?

But despite everything, Elden was looking healthier and gone was the confusion from last night. Perhaps it had simply been nightmares confusing him. Up until now, Dorian had been at the edge of the bed, holding Elden’s hand tightly in his own, but now he sat back farther, giving Elden space despite the way he desperately wanted to reach out to him, touch him. That wasn’t his place any longer. It took him some time but eventually, once they were left alone again, he finally brought himself to speak.

“Can I stay?” Dorian asked, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain even to his own ears.

“Do you want to stay?” Elden asked, his expression frustratingly hard to read.

“It’s a simple question,” Dorian said, irritably getting the better of him. “Surely you can answer with a yes or a no instead of turning it back on me.”

“Of course I do, but not if you don’t want to be here.” Elden said, his expression earnest and how could Dorian be annoyed with him for that? “Won’t you tell me what you want? Do you want to stay?”

The careful mask Dorian always wore broke and Elden could see all of the fear and desperation and sadness he had tried so hard to keep hidden all this time.

“Yes,” Dorian whispered. Elden reached out to him and he took his hand and Dorian felt guilty for it. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”

“What? How could any of this possibly be your fault?” Elden asked looking genuinely confused.

“Our conversation, before you left,” Dorian said, unable to look him in the eye. “You wouldn’t have been distracted if it wasn’t for my poor timing.”

“My, you do think highly of yourself,” Elden said, but it was a joke and he was smiling fondly at him.

“Have you met me? I assure you I have good reason,” Dorian said, but it was his usual deflection and he knew it wouldn’t fool Elden for a moment. “If not that, then would you care to tell me what happened?”

“It was a foolish mistake. We were actually planning on traveling that way anyway to investigate the red templar sightings. But I found tracks and foolishly followed them. I may have been too preoccupied to realize how dangerous that was, but that’s hardly your fault. I had plenty to fret over with the endless stream of meetings with the advisors. And perhaps I was trying to prove to myself that I could handle it alone.”

Elden looked away guiltily and Dorian remembered everything he had said while injured, so terrified of failure, of letting the Inquisition down, so sure he had no right to lead them. Dorian hated that there was so little he could do to help, but he could at least keep Elden from dwelling.

“Honestly, you have nothing to prove, but I must admit, now that I know the truth I’m a touch disappointed this isn’t about me after all,” Dorian joked, pleased when Elden pushed him playfully and Dorian couldn’t help but chuckle.

“So what do we do now?” Elden asked.

“I’m not sure. I expected you to be more angry than you seem,” Dorian admitted.

Elden was silent for a moment, staring at their hands linked together. “Would you tell me why?”

They needed to have that conversation sooner or later, might as well get it out of the way.

“For that I definitely owe you an apology,” Dorian said with a sign. “The truth is, I lied. I was afraid the rumors were growing out of control.”

“I told you, I don’t care about them.”

“But I do. I’d never be able to forgive myself if it ruined your reputation.”

“They’re going to find a reason to hate me matter what I do.” Elden said. Dorian knew it was true but it was just so infuriating. Elden was good and kind and did more than anyone in this war and yet still people were looking for any reason to turn on him. “Maybe what we should have done was put out our own rumors, about how the Inquisitor is incredibly weak and the only reason the Inquisition has made it this far is because of his friends, especially a certain Tevinter mage who keeps helping him pick himself up every time he falls apart.”

“No need to depreciate yourself on my account,” Dorian said with a sad smile.

“It’s the truth, though. I-- I just wish you’d talked to me about it.”

“I know, I should have.” Dorian said quietly.

“And I understand why. I might have felt the same if our positions had been reversed and I can’t fault you for that. I just miss you. Just do me a favor, even if you don’t want this, don’t push me away. Your friendship means a lot to me.”

Dorian laughed weakly. “I didn’t realize any of that was still an option.”

“As long as you talk to me about what’s bothering you,” Elden said. “You’ve been there every step of the way for me, but I want to be there for you as well.”

“You already have been. Too much, I fear. That’s the problem here after all.”

“I’ve done nothing,” Elden said with a little laugh.

“Says the Lord Inquisitor,” Dorian said but he sighed, looking at Elden seriously. “I just don’t understand. How can this be so simple for you? How can I possibly deserve any sort of second chance?”

“Dorian, I’m anxious all the time, everything in my life is complicated. But when I’m with you? All of that is quieter. I can finally hear myself think for once and all I want to think about is you. I like being around you, I like making you laugh and seeing you smile. If you don’t— if you don’t feel the same, I won’t fault you for it. we can end things here, go back to being friends. But if you do, then I want to try. I want to be at your side and I want to see where this goes, you and I. I know the journey won’t be easy, it never is, we will both have to work hard at it, but I think it could be worth it. But more than anything I want you to be happy, and if walking away will do that then it’s what I’ll do. But making yourself do something that will make you unhappy will only leave us both miserable.”

Dorian had to cover his face, to try to compose himself. How could he possibly deserve this man? He always did have a habit of sabotaging himself. Rebelling back in school, against his father. Then there was his inevitable fight with Alexius, pushing his mentor and subsequently Felix, his only friend, out of his life.

When he’d come south, he’d promised himself he would do the right thing, he’d be better and he’d make a difference. But once again, when happiness was within his grasp, he’d pushed Elden away, ruining the only relationship that had ever felt like this, that had ever been so real. Elden was much too good to offer him a second chance. Dorian could simply hurt them both all over again.

“I’m certainly not blameless here either,” Elden continued. “I should have insisted we talk, I knew something had been bothering you, but I was afraid. So I left without a word.”

“No,” Dorian said, hating the idea that Elden might blame himself for this. “I didn’t exactly leave things open for a conversation.”

“We’re supposed to be in this together, remember?” Elden said too earnestly. “We’re on the same side.”

“You are right, of course,” Dorian said, rubbing at his face. “I fear I’m at a loss, because as selfish as it is, I don’t want to walk away again. Where do we go from here?”

“How about you come up here and get some rest,” Elden said with a fond smile. “We can talk more after we’ve both rested.”

With his urging, Dorian crawled onto the bed. Elden curled against him, keeping his hand held tightly in his own. Having Elden’s familiar warm weight against him was such a relief. He knew things weren’t back to normal, they still had a long way to go, but the fact that Elden didn’t hate him was more than he had hoped for. He knew he’d made a mess of things, he knew he had hurt Elden and betrayed his confidence. He would make it up to him, he would do what he should have from the beginning, stay by his side through all of this and make sure he could still smile by the end of it. And he’d make sure Elden was never hurt again.

“Maybe I’ll have Leliana see what she can do about the rumors. And I’ll have her send you a list of everything she’s heard about you too.” Elden said suddenly, taking him by surprise.

“Why exactly would I want that?” Dorian asked.

“It’s not all bad. In fact, it’s mostly positive. The majority seem to find our relationship sweet.”

“Me? The evil Tevinter Magister? Sweet? That’s certainly a new one.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Elden said with a sleepy yawn. “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“Of course,” Dorian said, kissing the back of Elden’s hand and threading his fingers through his hair.

He paused, contemplating the weight of his words. There was so much to be said, so much to do. There was regret and affection and reassurances, but how could he ever put it all into words? How could he convey his sincerity? It would never be enough, would it? Instead, he would do everything in his power to show him all he felt until there was no doubt left in Elden’s mind that he was treasured. As Elden’s breathing slowed in sleep, Dorian whispered a single word, hoping desperately to convey at least a fraction of everything he felt.

“Amatus.”

The corner of Elden’s lips twitched up into a slight smile. He knew the significance of the word, all it represented to Dorian. It was terrifying how well Elden knew him, to be honest. But then, Dorian wouldn’t have it any other way. It was comforting, in a way. Regardless, Dorian would call him his beloved until the end of time if possible. There were still doubts and fears, things in his past that couldn’t so easily be banished and this horrible certainty that they weren’t all getting out of this alive. But they were in this together. And Dorian never wanted to let him go again.

#dragon age inquisition #dorian pavus #dorian x inquisitor #pavelyan #inquisitor #elden trevelyan #fanfic #for the best #cal writes stuff #aaaaa ive been fretting over this for too long #time to end it #i hope this is at least a tiny bit satisfying #after everything #how do people even have these sorts of conversations lmao #i dunno #i didnt want it to seem too quick or unrealistic #hopefully it works and makes sense

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thedappleddragon · 4 years

Text

Day 101 (Sunday June 21)

We were supposed to go to my uncle’s house today for father’s day, but neither my dad nor grandpa were feeling well so we didn’t go. I also slept in until 1pm when we were supposed to leave at 11am whoops. I talked with my dad about it in the kitchen while I made some breakfast. I hung out in the kitchen for a while, then spent the next 2 hours wandering about the house and backyard drawing my dnd oc Valka. Twice while I was drawing I got really bad stomach pains for no reason so I might be a little sick, idk. The file corrupted when I tried to save the time lapse but the colored lineart was mostly intact so I was able to re-do it pretty quickly. I spent some time outside with my sister and we both sat on the hammock. I spent a lot of my time today on tumblr and TikTok like I do most days and honestly it’s a problem. I clocked just 2 minutes short of 9 hours a day on my phone on average. But today wasn’t as bad because I spent a good chunk of time today organizing characters for art fight, submitting references and cropping thumbnails and writing descriptions. I was thinking about submitting 2 of my ocs Snake and Worm, and I started lining a sketch of both of them, but I lost motivation and didn’t finish. I’m thinking of making a collage of sketches for each character I’ve already submitted as additional reference instead of putting them all individually or rendering them all as their own references. Even tho artfight is still over a week away I’m exited. Uhhh what else about today happened. My dad brought home food from city barbecue and OMG it’s really good. Their potato salad is to die for I stg. Also my cat is being dumb and skittish and not wanting to eat food when I put her dish on the floor and she doesn’t want to come to my room. But I accidentally stayed up until 5:20am so I’m going to try and sleep now good night 🌙💤 ⭐️

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #corona diary #in unrelated news my temples are breaking out for no good reason #and i surprised myself by chugging a while mug of water. usually i have to quit before i reach the bottom of the cup

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ladytitanium · 7 years

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1,2,7 to 17, 19 to 23, 25 to 70

OKAY SO this got suuuuper long and I’m gonna answer it under a readmore but thank you so much for asking!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Definitely Minecraft. I got it around 2012 and played it whenever I could, although shortly afterwards I moved on to playing a lot of TF2 with some online friends.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.

TF2 and Portal 2 were the first things I ever wrote fanfic for, so I’d say those two are big and important for sure. More recently, though, Transistor and Pyre have been inspiring me to pursue more art and music.

7. Any games you have multiple copies of?

I have Portal 2 for xbox 360 and PC.

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?

I had a copy of Link to the Past in great condition, but my ex stole that and my entire SNES so :/

9. Most regrettable purchase?

No Man’s Sky is the obvious answer but I think I have some steam games lying around that I bought and played once, or just never touched. Not sure which ones, though. Usually if I’m going to spend actual money on something, I try to make sure it’s good first.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?

No, but I’d like to someday.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?

Not in the sense of meeting people in an mmo or anything, but I’ve definitely bonded with people I’ve met over a mutual love of games.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games?

Nah, not really. I’ve been picked on more for not having played enough games, honestly.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?

I’ve never played Overwatch or most online competitive games, or any MMOs aside from like 5 hours of gw2.

14. Favorite game music?

Anything Darren Korb, the composer for Supergiant Games, has made. Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre OSTs will always have a special place in my heart. Honorable mention goes to the Portal 2 soundtrack.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?

I……. have a triforce tattoo…….. on my left wrist……………

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?

I tend to like watching people play games rather than doing competitive or couch coop type things, so it’s hard to say. I used to hang out with my friends while we all did playthroughs of the Mass Effect trilogy, though, which was wonderful.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game?

Nah. Had some arguments over the Souls games, though.

19. Favorite handheld console?

3DS, definitely, although I do have some nostalgia for the good ol’ GBA.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?

Portal 2, although it’s been a few years since I’ve played so I might not be as familiar with it as I once was. Barring that, Stardew Valley.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?

I can’t think of any, honestly, since I almost never played anything as a kid.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?

The occasional Zelda t-shirt, and my old Aperture Science tanktop. I’d wear more if I owned more.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?

TF2, I think? I used to play for hours every evening.

25. Were you ever an arcade game player?

Sadly, no. My mother thought arcades were giant wastes of time and money and would corrupt me and make me stupid.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?

No, I don’t get competitive much.

27. Game that makes you rage?

Any kind of roguelike makes me angry just thinking about it. I hate losing progress. Really difficult platformers make me frustrated and angry too.

28. Ever play in a tournament?

Dear god no.

29. What is your gaming set up?

Currently, none. I have a shitty, half-broken laptop.

30. How many consoles do you own?

I own a Switch and a 3DS. I have access to an XBONE though.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?

I’ve never tried a Virtual Boy, but leaving the 3D on high on my 3DS is something I’ve only done once due to the nasty headache it gave me.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?

I don’t think so, no.

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?

I had a Sonic handheld game from a happy meal, does that count?

34. Do either of your parents play video games?

My dad does, a lot. Mostly MMOs. I think my mother did too, but mostly Civ, some ancient Egypt themed MMO, and Guild Wars, from what I can recall.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?

I worked in a game store for about six months late last year/early this year. It’s the best job I’ve ever had.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?

Oh, tears, absolutely. Plenty of games have made me cry. FFXV, Persona 5, Transistor, Portal 2, the list goes on.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?

I actually have played it! Perks of working at a game store that sells Ataris. I was utterly baffled by it, so I think “worst game ever made” is a fair title.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?

I really enjoy all the walking simulators/art games I’ve played. I know a lot of people say they aren’t real games or whatever but I think most of the ones I’ve played are genuinely enjoyable experiences.

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?

...Portal 3, but with the same writers+VAs+team in general. I know that’ll never happen now but I need it like I need air.

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?

Motion controls can be hit or miss. I think they need to be integrated well and very functional to be enjoyable. Like, wii sports and stuff? I loved it. Those tilt puzzles in the shrines in BOTW? Absolutely horrendous. As for VR, I really want to try it someday. I think it’s neat.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into?

Roguelikes, Souls-like (where the only purpose of the game is to be as difficult as possible so people who master it can be snobs about it), and any realistic online-only FPS things like Call of Duty are the three main things I will never, ever touch.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?

Pokemon Ruby, absolutely.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?

All through the second half of high school, tbh.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?

I’ve never actually gotten to play arcade games much.

45. How are you at Mario Kart?

I’m only decent at Mario Kart Wii, because I played it a lot.

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?

Absolutely! Animal Crossing New Leaf and City Folk are games I love dearly and have spent a LOT of time on over the years.

47. Do you like competitive games?

Almost never. I only ever played TF2 with friends, and that pretty much extends to any competitive game I might play. Only with friends, and only sometimes.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?

So. Long.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?

Yeah, mages are kind of my thing. I get jumpy when I have to do a bunch of melee so I tend to prefer to stand back a little. I always went full biotic in Mass Effect for that reason.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?

That’s a tough one. I’ve had a few concepts over the years, but none that have really stuck with me.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?

Yeah, definitely. I lose track of time really easily if I’m absorbed in something.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?

All Pokemon games from gen 4+5.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?

Any DLC that adds characters or plot necessary for the full enjoyment of the game should be free imo. Skins/weapons/maps/non-essential quests and missions can be behind a paywall. Like, ME3′s From Ashes DLC should have been free, and I go back and forth between whether it was cool to have Citadel and Omega DLCs behind paywalls, but all the weapons/armor/alternate appearance packs I’m totally fine with being paid DLC.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales?

Only when I have money.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?

I never played any Sims games.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?

Never played Roller Coaster Tycoon either.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?

Minish Cap, I think? I tried to 100% Super Mario Galaxy but I couldn’t ever quite do it.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?

Oh, shit. Uh. Animal Crossing New Leaf, Pokemon Sun (or Moon), and... I can’t pick a third one. Probably something with multiplayer.

59. Do you play any cell phone games?

Yeah, but most of them are just little time-wasting puzzle games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code?

Yes!

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?

I’ve never traded in a game but I might if I bought a physical copy of something I didn’t like.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?

Does the Switch count, since till Splatoon 2 came out I only had BOTW on it? I’ve considered getting a PS4 just for P5 and Horizon Zero Dawn.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament?

I went to GenCon a few times when I was really young but I barely remember it, and I’ve tagged along to a handful of Warhammer 40k tournaments with my dad, but that was also like 10 years ago. So no, not really.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?

I’ve never bought a TV or monitor myself.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?

I had an Action Replay for shinies in X and Y.

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?

No, my first phone was a Windows phone when I was 14 because my mother hated technology and wanted to control me so a phone was way too much freedom and entirely out of the question :/

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?

I remember the first time I beat Portal 2, sitting on the floor in front of the TV and crying tears of joy. That was pretty great.

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?

I wanted to, but didn’t go to arcades enough.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made?

Transistor. Can’t think of a single bad thing about it, honestly. Persona 5 and Horizon Zero Dawn are near-flawless too.

70. Very first game you ever beat?

The first game I beat was Pokemon Ruby, but idk if that counts since I shared with my brother, and I think my dad had to help us beat the Elite 4 because we were young and didn’t grind enough. I took turns with Portal 2, too. Portal 1, maybe?

#anonymous #goodsola shh

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