#This... got a lot longer than I expected it to!

[httpiastri]

NSFW alphabet – op81

author's note: hello again, rushed to finish this after quali today. mclaren second row lockout heck yes !!! anyways idk what i think about this one, first time posting something abt oscar in many months?? hope u enjoy tho :)

nsfw content below !! minors dni !!!

a – aftercare (what he is like after sex)

oscar is the biggest sweetheart after sex (when isn't he, though?). so so so gentle and caring for your every need. he'll be forcing you to drink some water, making sure you're cleaned up properly, helping you out with soothing lotions if your skin is sore.

lots of lots of kisses! forehead, nose, cheek, temple kisses, and especially little pecks on your lips. he loves having you rest on his chest after it all, fingers brushing along your skin or tangling in your hair. and there will be so many praises, "you did so well" and "you felt so good" and "you look gorgeous right now, did you know?"…

b – body part (his favorite body part of his and also his partner's body)

oscar has a thing for collarbones. they're like a magnet to his lips; his lips are automatically drawn to them. he loves to brush his thumb along them, seeing you shiver when he places fleeting kisses on top of them, and most importantly leaving little lovebites for only the two of you to see and know about. oscar is also in love with your breasts, no matter how big or small they are.

can't believe i almost forgot to write your eyes… i will get back to this later but your eyes are definitely one of his favorite things about you. watching you blink up at him innocently, watching your eyes flutter closed, watching them roll to the back of your head… oh he's smitten.

on his own body, he really likes his thighs. if he got to choose, he would have you sitting on his lap at all times. 24/7, no matter the occasion. the sight of you getting off just by riding his thigh is one of his absolute favorites, he loves flexing his muscles under you and guiding your hips down onto him.

c – cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

since he's a fan of your boobs (well, everything in the chest area, to be fair), he loves to pull out and spill his load over your breasts. he won't do it every time, but he savors the chances he gets. totally has a few pics of you with his cum all over your chest, dripping along your collarbones, saved for the moments when he misses you the most.

d – dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his)

maybe not a dirty secret per se, but oscar has a little submissive streak... he sure does love begging a little, pouting and whining to get what he wants. and i mean, who could say no to these eyes looking up at you?

e – experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?)

well oscar went to school for longer than a lot of other racing drivers, and boarding school for that matter, so i think he's been able to get quite a bit of experience. he knows a lot, but it's more important to him to get to know you and what you like. his prior experience doesn't matter as much as the experience he gains together with you.

f – favorite position (this goes without saying)

oscar thinks you're the most gorgeous thing ever so you bet he doesn't want to spend even a second not getting to look into your pretty eyes. anything where he can watch your face contort or relax, and your eyes squeeze shut or blink up at him, makes him so weak. he loves a classic missionary, especially if he gets to hike one of your legs over his hip and especially if you put a pillow under your lower back because he knows you love it. and when you're enjoying himself, he enjoys himself, too.

seeing you ride him makes him a little crazy though, but don't expect him to keep his eye contact with you during it; his eyes will be firmly glued onto your boobs as they bounce up and down, he can't help it.

g – goofy (is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous? etc.)

oscar is a soft giggler during sex. he isn't overly serious but not overly humorous either, just a good mix. he's low laughs when you're whining for him, playful coos as reactions to your impatience, and a lot of "baby, let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?" with teasing smiles. he's just not scared of a little humor because sex doesn't have to be so strict to him; it's just a cozy time you spend together and he wants you to be as comfortable and relaxed as you can.

h – hair (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he's no naked rat, but he likes to keep things neat. a bit trimmed, not super short but also not long. though i also feel like he definitely adjusts to your likes and what you find attractive.

i – intimacy (how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect)

sex isn't just fucking to him; sex is lovemaking. he loves to be romantic with it. celebrating birthdays or anniversaries in your bedroom with little candles everywhere to set the mood, rose petals in a heart on the bed, with a cozy bubble bath after. and even when it's not a big occasion, he's very soft and romantic. he has a few playlists he loves to put on, he knows exactly what to say to get you in the mood and where to press his lips to draw out your oh so sweet sounds. oscar is all gentle touches and soft glances.

j – jack off (masturbation headcanon)

that one time when you accidentally walked in on him jacking off because you came home early from work/school, he was so extremely flustered – but he also found it very arousing. when you asked him if you could help him out, he couldn't help his hasty nods and the way his heart skipped a few beats in his chest. watching you settle on his lap, your hands starting where his had left off, fingers brushing up and down along him teasingly... from that day, he replays the image of you giving him a handjob in his mind whenever he does it himself, and he loves to get your help whenever he doesn't have a lot of time but needs to get off before a race etc.

k – kink (one or more of his kinks)

marking. 100%. he'll be lowkey and casual with it, not really saying much about it, but after a while you come to the realization that he leaves quite a lot more lovebites than anyone you've been with before. the inside of your thighs, your hips, your ribs... but especially your chest area. they won't usually be where anyone can see, because he likes to keep your sex life private, but there have been occasions when he's been a bit extra riled up (or jealous) and he just couldn't back from leaving trails of hickeys down your neck. he just adores the thought of you having a physical reminder of who you belong to, even if they fade after a while.

l – location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom is the #1 favorite, but he's okay with other places too. he especially likes your bathtub, especially when the lights are dimmed and you've got some pretty candles spread out in the room (and downed a few glasses of wine possibly).

m – motivation (what turns him on, gets him going)

oscar loves lingerie. if you wore any lingerie, he would be turned on instantly. he just can't help it. i also feel like he's the type to just get turned on from mundane, domestic things. like, seeing you cooking? watching you do your nighttime routine? it's a reminder him that you're there, you're real, and you're his. there's nothing hotter than that.

during the actual lovemaking, he gets a little crazy whenever you say his name. especially when you're about to come and his name slips from your lips in the form of a breathless whimper and he can feel your insides contract around him. it could make him come instantly.

n – no (something he wouldn't do, turn-offs)

nothing where there's even the slightest chance that you'll injure yourself. nuh uh. he also dislikes things where you won't be able to easily quit if anything were to happen, like bonding. the idea of you being tied up when the fire alarm goes off or you get a panic attack makes his skin crawl, it's his worst nightmare.

o – oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i don't think he has anything against receiving it, but it won't happen unless you initiate it. he's very certain about not pressuring you in that way; he knows it's not always your favorite thing to do and he respects that.

i see him as someone who loves to give it, though. especially if he can take his time with you, rile you up with soft kisses and gentle caresses of your skin.

p – pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

oh i totally see oscar as more slow and sensual. as we've covered already, sex is lovemaking to him, and he's in no rush. he wants to enjoy every second of it, and make sure you do too. foreplay can last for an eternity with him because he loves preparing you for what's to come.

q – quickie (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he'd rather take his time with you and do it properly. if he really needs to blow off some steam, he'd rather just jack off or have you help him out if you don't have any time. if you're going to have sex, he wants to not be in any rush, and he wants to have time to properly take care of you after.

r – risk (is he game to experiment? does he take risks? etc.)

he's definitely open to experiment. he might want to try more things than he's willing to admit; even though he's fully comfortable with you by now, something still makes him a bit nervous about talking to you about it. he wants to find a 'good opportunity' to bring the idea up, but it might take him some courage to do it. he'll be very gentle, shy eyes blinking at you, voice soft… "only if you're okay with it, of course!" and "you really have to tell me if you don't want to. you have to promise me", maybe even making you pinky promise that you indeed do want to try the thing.

he'd be over the moon if you insinuated it, though. anything you're up for, he's automatically up for, too.

s – stamina (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)

i think his stamina is quite good. when i say that he loves taking his time with you, i mean it in that way, too; he can go on for hours. if he needs to take a break, then he'll start focusing on you and making you feel good instead. neither of you will ever get tired, he just keeps on going until he's satisfied.

t – toys (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?)

i wouldn't say he's the biggest fan of them, but he doesn't have anything against them, either. he's much happier if he gets to be the person to make you feel so good. though, the thought of you using your toys on yourself when he's not around really gets him going, and if anything, he's okay with you using them on yourself even when you're together. (fic abt osc watching you use your vibrator hereee)

u – unfair (how much he likes to tease)

not as much as some other people (*cough cough* his teammate *cough cough*) but he does enjoy it. he really likes teasing fingers dragging up and down your ribs, fleeting kisses all over your skin, brushing your hair away from your face as you're waiting for him to do something.

he does it in a gentle and sweet way that should be interpreted as just cute but it makes you furious sometimes? because he can be so slow it's infuriating and you want him to just get on with it already. he'll be pretending to think things through or fiddle with a belt, and you'll just go crazy because he should be touching you but he's just finding a bunch of excuses to keep you on your toes. he loves to see you squirming and whining beneath him, holding your hands away easily with a 'tsk' when you try to release some of your tension yourself since he's so goddamn slow. (blurb ish on this topic hereeee)

v – volume (how loud he is, what sounds he makes, etc.)

a lot of heavy breathing. i see him as a groaner, but he's not overly loud with it. he lovesss to talk you through it, though. "are you ready? is this okay? tell me if i need to pause. that feels so good, you're doing so good."

w – wild card (a random headcanon)

oscar LOVES praising you. it just happens naturally because he thinks you're doing so well and he loves you so much, he must tell you. "that's perfect, love. i love it when you do that. god, you feel so good. look at you, taking me so well. and looking so beautiful while doing it? there's no one as good as you..."

x – x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

just a bit longer than average but it's the thickness that makes him stand out. even after being together for a long while, it takes you a good amount of foreplay to stretch out for him, and it still feels like he's splitting you open once he finally slips fully into you.

y – yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

nothing too special i'd say, he loves a good few rounds but he enjoys a sweet, romantic night of another kind just as much.

z – zzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterward)

a sleepy boy in general but most of the time, he gets a little energy boost out of sex instead. he will be the last to fall asleep pretty much every time, which is also because he just wants to enjoy the moment for as long as he can before eventually falling asleep. he adores having you in his arms after doing his aftercare routines, drawing little shapes into your skin as you start to fall asleep. once asleep, though, he sleeps so well & heavy. it'll take three alarms and you bribing him with kisses for him to actually wake up before 1pm.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x yn #oscar piastri x y/n #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri scenario #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x yn #f1 x y/n #f1 smut #f1 fluff #mclaren #mclaren racing

[ruershrimo]

take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 8: late

ao3 link for additional author’s notes | playlist | prev | m.list

chapter synopsis:

' “Kugisaki Nobara. Be honoured, boys,” she says, stance confident, “I’m your group’s girl.”

She’s so cool. '

---

You meet the girl of steel, though you've yet to get closer to her. Luckily, you have friends around the corner like Yuuji— and Megumi, too, but it's a little different with him.

word count: ~7k; tws: none for now :)!!

short a/n: hi i’m sorry i was away for so long!! life got a little busy and this chapter took a while to write. I will preface it by saying that this one is quite boring, though, but the chapters to look forward to a bit more are the two next ones!! lots will happen there :). thank you for your patience and i’m so sorry again!

25-6-2018 

By the time you’re back in Jujutsu High’s campus, night time has already shed its shadow against the world, black over Tokyo's fulgid skyscrapers like a veil, the sky devoid of any stars. Tokyo is a metropolis of glittery, coruscant lights that litter the land, with parks and crepe shops and cafes galore. And oh, how you love it every time you come back, from its 90s movie mood to its futuristic innovations. 

Dr Ieiri really had planned everything, as if she’d always expected you to be here: she’d got you a room near her office, even helped to clean some of it up, and promised you that you’d still be merely a room away from the one other female student currently in the school. Once the last first year— a girl— arrived, she’d be staying right next to you. 

“So? How long do you think you’ll be staying?” Dr Ieiri asks, “I know you’re planning on just giving someone something, but you’re going to be here for much longer, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright, but I’ll give you a heads up first. Staying here and operating as an actual sorcerer here, or a doctor for sorcerers like me or your father— it’s a far cry from the last time you were there. I won’t force you to help me when I need it, but you’re still going to be demanded of at almost all times, and I know you’d be the type of person to try to save people as much as you can. You have to be ready for that— the strain and all.” 

So she knew what you wanted better than you did. “I am.” You’ll ask that of your father later, to tell Sugisawa Third that you’re transferring to a religious school in Tokyo. They knew too little of you to think of whether you were religious or not anyway. 

“I’ll help you so you can still take things easy, okay?” 

“...okay. Thank you, doctor.” 

26-6-2018 

Dr Ieiri smokes less than you thought. Really, the night that you first met her was the first time she’d smoked again in five years, according to her. She attributed it to nostalgia and reminiscing on old memories before asking you to just go to bed— it was almost two in the morning. But you thought it made sense that the ones who were made to heal were the ones who mourned what was unhealed the most; you weren’t the only one stuck playing long-gone memories like a panoramic film on loop, a permanent backdrop in your mind. 

“You need to get a good night’s rest,” she’d said, but now you’re walking down the desolate hallways again. It’s fine— if there’s one thing about actually going against your parents for the first time instead of solely refuting them verbally in heated, mangled arguments, it’s that it’s insanely liberating. Before this, you’d have never even considered it an option, yet now it suddenly exists— that autonomy; suddenly, there isn’t a need to follow whatever order you’ve been given. And yes, you do respect Dr Ieiri and probably everyone else in your life, but you can choose not to abide by what they tell you just because you don’t want to— you decide it. No justifications, no reasons or polemics. Just pure responsibility and autonomy of yourself. You can’t fathom now, why you’d been scared of it before, or whether you’d even realised you were. It still feels unfamiliar, like a thrill, like adrenaline from treading on a tightrope above pits of deep, all-encompassing water, but in a week or so you’re going to have become used to it. 

From your room, if you walked all the way to the end of the hallway, you’d see the first year boys’ dorms. You don’t take the letter with you— that’s a bridge to either burn or cross another time, when you’re not right about to sleep. 

Careful to make as little sound as possible, you knock the door, hoping he’s awake. 

You hear his groggy steps as he seems to trudge himself along, before the door opens with a creaky whine. “—it’s one in the morning,” he frowns, “What do you want—” 

“Hi, Megumi.” 

He closes the door. You wait outside for a moment. 

Megumi opens the door again. 

“...I should’ve told you I was here, actually,” you say. 

“It’s one in the morning,” he goes, “Why aren’t…” he blinks his eyes awake a little, groaning as he rubs his temples, “Why aren’t you asleep? —no, why are you even here, really…” 

You’re going to regret your replies come morning, probably; they’ll sound stupid by then. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, but that doesn’t really bother you. “I’m sorry. It’s just, um, I actually wanted to give you something, I mean— I’ll give it to you tomorrow or one of these days, but I was just bored. I just got here, and I’m just going to help Dr Ieiri with some things, um. …sorry, did I wake you? You should rest, actually, it helps your injuries heal faster; sorry for waking you—” 

“—no, not… not really. Don’t worry about that,” he states, “But you should still go to sleep anyway. It’s late.” 

“I can’t sleep.” 

He opens the door and heads inside. An invitation for you to enter, it seems, because he turns and waits for you, the door ajar as you hesitate in front of it. 

You come in. 

His dorm room seems quite similar to the one in his old home, actually, the only difference being how his room now is only just a little larger than the one you were in at fourteen. (You wonder what happened to it, whether Tsumiki still lies on her bed with her phone for a maximum of five minutes at the same time every day.) The two of you sit on the foot of the bed, the lack of light unquestioned. Just like things were two years ago. With the lights outside his window, the bustling city still abuzz with their izakayas and night clubs, your eyes can trace over an outline of his sharp face and spiky hair.  

“How long will you be staying?” 

“Quite a while, I think.” 

“...which is?” 

“Probably more than a week.” 

“Wh— then what about school?” 

“Oh, I kind of, um… threw it away. I don’t know, um. My parents knew I’d be here for a long time. I think I’m just going to transfer here. I’ll leave it all behind that way.” 

He sighs, “I know, but that… that just sounds like a thoughtless decision.” 

“The only part of it that I put thought into was whether I’d run away and live or stay and rot there. So when Dr Ieiri gave me a chance I just took it. And I’ll keep taking what she gives me. If not, then… I’ll be stuck dwelling on it for the rest of my life, I think.” For so long, you’d been trying not to do so; to not take that life-determining chance, to decide to dwell yearningly instead of live, and to appease your parents so at least your mother would have that sliver of assurance, but not anymore. They wouldn’t be in your life forever. 

“So you’re doing this just so you won’t live a life of regret? You’re doing this just for yourself?” 

“It’s the same thing as doing this so that I can help people. It’s two sides of the same coin. Not everyone has what I do.” 

“You sound like Itadori,” he says. The way he does so makes your chest ache slightly and you don’t know why. But nobody is as selfless or as much of an unstoppable force as Yuuji is. Nobody, ever. You turn your eyes away from him even if he can’t see you do so in the dark. 

“But Yuuji takes that to the extreme, I’m…pretty sure. I’m just trying to do what I can because I can.” 

You move your right hand to the side, fiddling with yourself, empty hands trying to find something to do. It bumps into something— something warm and soft. Skin. 

With imaginary chills running along your body, you feel Megumi’s left pinky finger loop itself around yours. He clears his throat, breaking the silence, and you look at him again, at the vague shadow before you. “—that’s…that’s my hand.” 

“Oh. Ah, okay,” you say. It feels right this way— comfortable, nervous, jumbled, calm— 

Your hands move slowly, your fingers trying to steady it like steering around an old, shaky wooden boat with only a paddle, set and ready to embark on a journey. Quivering, you pull your right pinky finger away before your hand is fully enveloped under the hold of his. The heat from his palm on the back of your hand transfers itself right to your face and neck. It’s summer, but it feels cold and hot in the best way possible. “Do… do you want me to let go? Do you want me to stop?” 

“...no. I don’t think so. Do you?” 

“No. I want to stay.” 

“Okay. Me too.” 

He does. 

In the silence you sit up, biting your bottom lip, your nerves like jelly and your brain probably fried if not for the lack of sleep. For a moment you decide to look at him, and you see him swifty turn his head away from you as soon as you do so. 

(—so he’d been looking at you?) 

What wakes you up is the sunrise, an early morning. It’s been embedded into your brain to wake up at seven sharp no matter how late you slept. 

He’s sleeping, his face down, water in his eyelashes— you suppose that’s why he has such crystalline eyes, viridian ones that remind you of summer and life and protection. Jade and grass. Shifting into rather uncomfortable positions so as to not wake him, you pull yourself away. 

His hand still remains snug over yours. 

‘Just friends’ don’t do things like this, you think. But at the same time, ‘just friends’ don’t fight curses or heal those who do so, and ‘just friends’ don’t have a third person they had better relationships with before they broke apart while constantly thinking of each other and decided to at the very least become active figures in each others’ lives again. 

This is scary, moving all too quickly. You’re being grabbed by the waist and thrust into a paraglider; you’re flying in the vast expanse of a boundless, unnavigable sky, manning a paramotor with no previous warning or idea of how to do so. 

But he's very beautiful like this. Hair so black it’s blue, eyelashes woven of silk, a jaw so sharp yet so smooth. The sun greeting the sky as it ejects itself from the inky-hued horizon. You don’t know if there’s a creator, or if there’s a god— you’ve heard of Christianity and many other kinds of faith, though you’d never really dabbled in any of them. But you’d definitely thank someone like that, because scenes like these are proof that someone like that exists, and that that someone is an artist, a masterful artist. So he must have created you and given you an apt appreciation for beauty and art, too, as well as someone like Megumi who was beauty and art. 

‘Just friends’ don’t think like that. 

But you still will anyway. You can allow yourself that. 

He makes a tired little noise as he wakes up, taking in a deep inhale. “...did we really—” 

“Yeah. Um. —wait! I should, um, probably brush my teeth first, my breath probably smells horrible right now, sorry—” 

“Oh. No, it’s fine, I should too—” 

“Yeah, I think I’ll go back to my room too; I don’t want doctor suspecting anything, ah—” 

“Oh— okay,” he releases his hand. 

It’s strange to have things like these— little snippets and moments that remind you to just have fun and be a kid. For years— maybe your whole adolescent experience so far— every day hailed with it a new matter to tend to and worry about, and every day you subconsciously wondered if you were wasting your life away, doing nothing but fantasise of a faraway fancy in which you could use the only potential you had for something. 

But who knew that it was so simple, yet so profound: that the excitement and memories that you yearned for could be obtained just from wanting to do so? That if you wanted to do something, you could just up and do it? 

You like it, though. The paralysing, dizzying feeling of it all, breaths caught in your throat and you can’t say anything without stuttering. The last time you’d felt it, it was Yuuji: you’d had yourself emotionally constipated to the point you choked it all up within you, toned things down and muted the intensity of it all before you even felt it. But it was fun then, and now this is much better. It would seem delusional to hope for anything else. There’s not much of a fantasy for you to look to and put yourself into a deluge of daydreams about, but for once you want to feel something without the implications. That must be what being a teenager is like— you’d seen it time and time again in movies, with cliques and girlfriends and gossip sessions, but you’d never had the luxury to have them yourself and be a girl like that. So this must be what it’s like, at least a semblance of it, with its fun and frivolities and feelings straight from familiar flicks. 

Not quite the time to put a name to it just yet, but it’s fun. At least, you can do it a little longer. It feels like a breath of fresh air after chaining yourself down like an anchor to the seabed. 

You rush to the door. “I’ll see you later? For breakfast,” you try to smile as calmly as you can while you turn back to look at him again. 

Thank goodness Dr Ieiri wakes up at eight whenever there isn't much work for her to tend to. 

You set a mission for yourself: hold Megumi’s hand again at least once in your high school career. 

Now that’s how to live without regrets, be a teenager, and have fun. 

Are you being delusional? 

You don’t know what Fushiguro Megumi is to you now, because ‘friend’ doesn’t sum it up well enough, ‘stranger’ doesn’t do the two of you your deserved justice, classmates isn’t the actual term, and ‘boyfriend’ is way too far from the truth. 

So to have dreams like that; thoughts like that, you think as you brush your teeth, you’re probably making a fool of yourself again. 

There’s something going on here and you don’t know what it is. And even if you’d told yourself you were fine with it, you don’t know how long everything else will be. 

It makes you feel like an idiot. 

But in your head you're filled with thoughts and, for a lack of a better term, hindrances. Did he sleep well? Do friends do that? Or was it just the two of you who’d do that? Was there even any meaning behind it all, any implications on your relationship due to this? This way you’d drive yourself insane before you could even get to breakfast. 

Did he like it, though? Could he have liked it, the sight of you sleeping next to him? Of vulnerability? No, he couldn’t, right? Yet, if he did, then—

You needed to calm down. 

(What about the letter?)

Maybe this was adrenaline: you’d run and take a few bites of breakfast before anyone else did, heading back to your room after you had done so. This way, nobody would see you. (You weren’t calm enough to do this, what made you think, in your sleep-deprived mind, that you’d be mature enough to handle this the next morning?) 

Just as you’re planning strategies to spend the whole day holed up in your room and avoid contact with anyone for it all, there’s a knock on your door. 

“Took so much to talk to the dad alone—” he says, his voice muffled as he speaks to someone else, “I could never stand that old geezer! If he’s like that I’m glad I never had to know how much worse his wife is.” 

It’s Gojo, you can tell. There’s a slight mocking tone in the way he does everything, in the way he says and laughs about the most out-of-pocket shit ever— this is one of those times, because you can almost hear what you think is a feral maniac with the voice of an idol laughing like a loon as he bangs against your door as if he’s trying to kill it. 

“You probably shouldn’t hit it so hard.” Dr Ieiri’s voice. 

You open the door. “Yes?” 

“He’s saying that you should come as backup, and I thought it would help you be put on the spot. It’ll teach you how to operate with clarity as you work,” Dr Ieiri explains. 

“Besides, you won’t even need to help that much. It’s just that this way, you’ll be able to do so if it’s needed while we’re here to guide you. Think of a baby taking its first steps with the help of its parents. If it gets dangerous for them, I’ll step in and you can heal them, but if you can’t heal them enough, we’ll just bring them back to Shoko,” Gojo cheerfully adds. Dr Ieiri nods along with him. 

“Ah… okay.” Your first “actual” lesson as an “apprentice”, then. 

“But first, you should change,” Gojo tells you, handing you a set of clothes, “Here. It’s a spare standard uniform that we keep for special cases. Now you can match with Megumi!” 

Your eyes widen, unsure of whether to laugh nervously or slap him or dash in the opposite direction— shawty a runner, she a track star.  

“I’m so sorry that he’s like this,” Dr Ieiri goes. Joking or not, she’s right. You’re sorry she’s dealt with him for so long, too. 

“...thanks.” 

“Don’t bully my student, Satoru,” Dr Ieiri orders, and you kind of like the sound of your new title. 

You wonder how Gojo got used to teleporting with his cursed technique, but you suppose that it comes with the innate ability to switch from one scene to another so rapidly without feeling at least a little sick— like how the shift from the quiet of the dormitories to the bustle outside of Harajuku has you feeling right now. The brightness of the summer sunlight feels like an intrusion as Gojo sets you down and you open your eyes again. 

“Wow.” 

“Oh, it’s [Name]!” 

Megumi looks away. He’s probably embarrassed to hell and back right now— angry at you, even, maybe. You weren’t sure anymore; you couldn’t even think. You try to let the heat rising up to your face subside without fanning it, steadying yourself beside Gojo, swearing that you’d like to be invisible just this once. 

“Sorry for the wait! I had to take up a call. I brought [Name] over here for backup too to get a grasp of the on-field experience.” Gojo says, waving at them, “Oh! Your uniform made it in time.” 

“Yeah! It fits great! Though I noticed it’s slightly different from Fushiguro’s. Mine has got a hood.”

It does fit him, you think, as you look at Yuuji. It looks better on him than it did when he sent you pictures of it over text. It’s easier to look at him now than Megumi. 

“That’s because the uniforms can be customised upon request.”

“Huh?” Yuuji tilts his head to the side, “But I never put in any requests.” 

“You’re right!” Gojo smiles, “I was the one who put in the custom order.” 

“Huh… oh. Well, cool!” 

“Be careful,” Megumi goes, “Gojo has a habit of doing that kind of stuff. So why are we meeting up here in Harajuku?” 

“Because,” Gojo clarifies, “That’s what she asked for.” 

“Oh!” Yuuji starts as the four of you walk out of the station, “You’re wearing the uniform too, [Name]. Looking good!” 

“Really? Thanks. I mean, I like the skirt. The uniform makes me feel like a fancy princess in a fancy school or something, but the skirt looks a little like it belongs to an elegant office lady.” 

“Uh, yeah,” Megumi follows, “You… look good. In the uniform, I mean.” 

You force out a laugh— “Haha, uh… you too. I mean, everyone would look good with these uniforms, right?” Wow… 

“...I guess so,” Megumi replies, looking in the other direction. 

If you see Gojo stifling his laughter in front of you, no you don’t. 

“We- we should get popcorn. I read online that said you could get really tasty popcorn at one of the shops in Takeshita Street.” 

“Yay, popcorn!” Yuuji exclaims, “I want some!” 

“Sure,” Gojo chuckles, “The shop’s pretty near here anyway. This is your guys’ first time in Harajuku, right, [Name] and Yuuji?” 

“Ah… yeah, and now that I think about it, Yuuji had never been out of Sendai until recently, actually. Right?” 

“Yeah, but I thought you’d have been to Harajuku before.” 

“I mean, I used to live in Tokyo, but I didn’t really move around. I think the most famous place I’ve been to is Shinjuku-Gyoen. Really pretty garden…” 

“Oh… then we should go around Tokyo one of these days!” 

“Yeah,” you smile, “We should! But you could spend a whole week exploring and you still wouldn’t see all of it,” you remark, “It’s a good idea, though.” 

“Fushiguro, wanna come along?” 

“Uh, sure…” Megumi goes, avoiding eye contact with you. You do the same. 

“...hey, is everything okay between the two of you? How come you’re so shy with each other all of a sudden?” 

“H-huh? Ah, no, no, it’s okay.” 

“You said ‘no’ twice. You usually only repeat words like that when you’re really worried about something,” Yuuji says. Curse his affinity for knowing you. 

“But it’s fine, though. Don’t worry.” 

“Uh… yeah. What [Name] said.” 

“You sure?” Yuuji asks again, a bit concerned. “Okay, then.” 

The rest of the walk mostly goes in silence— Yuuji excitedly heads for things to buy, from funky accessories to buckets of snacks. By the time it’s over and all of you are near the 400 yen corner, he’s decked out in all the Tokyo tourist gear, there’s popcorn in his hands, and sunglasses with frames spelling out “ROOK” on his face. (Maybe because he’s a rookie?)

There’s a well-dressed girl in front of you— you wonder if it’s her, but she isn’t wearing the uniform, so it probably isn’t— and a man most likely bald and wearing a wig with his black-and-white business suit. “Well, hello, there!” the man says to her, “Are you on the clock right now?” 

“No, not right now,” she replies. 

“That’s great! You see, I’m looking for potential models. That’s what I do! Would you be interested?” 

He’s scouting for models? 

There’s a sliver of hope in you that he looks at you next and asks you that question. You’re sure it isn’t going to happen, but you suppose you would like being told you were pretty by having a job associated with people who were— there was no chance, though. In Tokyo, the vast metropolis that it is, there are so many with better looks; better faces, prettier hair, nicer bodies— or people who dress better, walk more confidently; people who are adequate in all the ways you aren’t. 

The thought slightly shocks you, in reality— you haven’t thought about how you may not be able to compare with others since the time when you really did realise that Yuuji would never like you (not in that way, at least, and it still hurts to think about it). You never thought you’d feel that way again, and you never thought you would have to be surprised by such thoughts that had been brought in by something akin to envy or jealousy. 

“I’m in a hurry right now,” the girl denies. 

At least she probably knows just how beautiful she is. 

“Hey, you!” another girl calls. This one is just as beautiful— prettier than you, with brown (probably dyed) hair, and pretty brown eyes to match. She’s wearing the same uniform as you save for some titivations at the skirt, and she looks way better in it than you do. “What about me?” she asks, pointing at herself, “For that modelling gig. Hey, I’m asking what you think about me.” 

She’s so confident, it’s so cool… 

“Oh, well uh… I’m in a hurry at the moment,” the man says. Little bitch boy. 

“What the hell?” she asks, holding the man by the collar, “Don’t run, come out and say what you think!” 

“Wait, she’s the one we have to go and talk to? This is real embarrassing,” Yuuji says. 

Megumi mutters under his breath, “Yeah? So are you.” 

“I think she’s an icon,” you express. 

Gojo waves at her, amused, “Hey, we’re over here!” 

The girl slams the locker door shut after she places her backpack— a really tiny, cute pink one— into its pit of shopping bags. Probably to buy pretty clothes. She’d look really good in them. 

“Right, so now we have our three students! Oh— [Name] here isn’t really a student, by the way, I’ll explain later,” Gojo informs the pretty girl, “I’d like you to meet—” 

“Kugisaki Nobara. Be honoured, boys,” she says, stance confident, “I’m your group’s girl.” 

She’s so cool.

Oh, she’s judging them, you think as she stares at the boys. 

“I’m Itadori Yuuji. I’m from Sendai!” 

“Fushiguro Megumi.” 

“Ugh,” she lets out, “This is what I get to work with? Great, just my luck.” 

“She took one look and sighed— that can’t be good,” Yuuji says. 

“Are we going somewhere from here?” Megumi asks. 

“Well, we do have all three—” 

“All four—” Megumi interjects. 

“Ack— no, no, Megumi, I’m not a student, hold on—” You don’t want to be something other than a ghost, not right now, because then you’ll have to deal with whatever you’ve done in the last twenty-four hours that you’d rather beat around the bush and eventually forget about than anything. 

“Okay, we do have all four of you together, and since three of you kids are from the countryside, that means…” he pauses for effect— were you really “from” the countryside, though, if you’d moved around so much that you had no sure idea where your roots were? “...we’re going to Tokyo!” 

You and Megumi watch as Kugisaki and Yuuji chant the city name over and over in unison before arguing over where to head to. But this is Gojo— so there may be a catch somewhere that you just haven’t found yet. 

Megumi looks as annoyed as ever, much like the expression his younger self used to have when his eyebrows crinkled in exasperation from your antics. 

“If you quiet down, I’ll announce our destination,” Gojo begins, and the newly formed pair quiet down, “Roppongi!” 

It’s probably just something like an abandoned building in Roppongi, not Roppongi in all of its glamour itself. 

It’s an abandoned building in Roppongi. 

Gojo explains the situation after Kugisaki and Yuuji’s outrage— “There’s a big cemetery nearby. That, plus an abandoned building, and you’ve got a curse.” 

Kugisaki stops her raging when she finds out that Yuuji is still learning about how curses are formed. “Wait, hold up here. He didn’t even know that yet?” 

“To be honest…” Megumi starts to explain. 

She looks horrified after. 

(If you could, though, if you were anything other than a ghost right now— you’d tell her of how selfless and brave Yuuji is, of how incredible he is that he stopped at nothing to help his friends. You’d tell her that this was what made liking him as easy as breathing air.) 

Before the two of them head into the building, Gojo hands Yuuji a cursed tool— you’d never actually seen one before. You wonder if he’ll be able to wield it well enough: you know he has it covered, but you’re still worried about him anyway. (You always are.) 

And he gives Yuuji a challenge, too, though it’s more like an ultimatum. “Don’t let Sukuna out, okay?” 

Soon the three of you sit down near the building— there’s a block of concrete that you wonder why it was placed there for, and Gojo gestures for Megumi and you to sit down there. 

“Hey, you should be sitting here. I’m fine with standing.” 

“Nah, just take a seat. I’ve got to be on standby anyway.” 

“But you’re the teacher. You should get a better seat. And I’m not injured like Megumi, so I’m fine with standing.” 

“Pft,” he snorts, “You think I actually care about that sort of stuff?” 

You pause. “I… guess not. Thank you. Sorry again.” 

Gojo squats down instead, only his feet on the floor. “See? It’s better this way. Just you and Megumi in your own little world—”

“—please stop.” 

Megumi turns away from you again in embarrassment. 

“Anyway…ah, Kugisaki is really pretty,” you state, “And she seems really strong. I’m still worried, though. What if the curse inside is stronger than anticipated…” 

“...I think I’ll go in too,” Megumi says, “Someone needs to keep an eye on Itadori, right?” 

“You should rest and let your injuries heal, though. I mean, I could help you with that, but I’m supposed to wait for their injuries first—” 

“Well, the one we’re testing this time is Nobara,” Gojo highlights, “That Yuuji… he’s got some screws loose: he’s fearless— these things take the form of terrifying creatures who try to kill him, yet the guy has no hesitation at all. And he doesn’t have the familiarity with curses that you have. We’re talking about a boy who used to live a normal high school life. By now you’ve seen plenty of sorcerers and you’ve seen them give up because they couldn’t conquer their fear or disgust, right?” he explains to Megumi. 

He’s right, though. For someone who had no idea what curses were just a bit more than a week ago, it’s amazing how he can acclimatise himself to such a new life so quickly. When you’d first learned about curses and jujutsu sorcerers, the only reason your life stayed that way was because actually becoming a victim of it seemed like merely a faraway hypothetical, something that couldn’t affect you— up until your father revealed his cursed technique and you exorcised that curse in the store a while after. That was when the ghastly figure of reality that was jujutsu society reared its head and pricked you with its cold finger. As happy as you were after you’d exorcised it, you could feel that empty pit forming in your gut— you did it, thank goodness, but what now? And as your heart raced while you helped that lady, you didn’t address it. 

You supposed the benefit of your position was not having to at all. 

“Hasn’t Kugisaki already dealt with curses before, though?” 

“As we know, curses are born from human minds, so their strength in numbers grows in proportion to the population,” Gojo teaches, “Do you think Nobara understands? Tokyo curses are of a different level than those in the countryside.” 

The curse you handled before would be on the weaker side, then. “In what way?” you ask. 

“Their cunning— monsters that have gained wisdom will force cruel choices upon you where the weight of human life hangs in the balance. [Name], when you fought that curse last time, did it seem to be sentient or self-aware?” 

“...I mean, I guess it seemed like it couldn’t really see the other person there. It was just me and the lady who worked there, so… no.” 

“Well, to put it into perspective, [Name], the curse, had it been one from the city instead, could have done something like take the lady hostage to sort of threaten you and keep itself at large. So this test is to see if Nobara is crazy enough.” 

It wouldn’t matter, though— you were the healer, the medic, the doctor. Whatever level of martial prowess you were supposed to have didn’t concern you. 

“And speaking of tests, [Name]…” Gojo begins, “One of these days, you’ll have to get one too. As someone about to take Shoko’s role, this is your first test as a medic— every mission you get sent to will be a test in that aspect. But as a sorcerer…” 

“Hey. I’m not an actual sorcerer, though, remember? And you should speak with Dr Ieiri first if you want me to expel curses like one and all.” 

“Well, I didn’t speak to Dr Ieiri. I spoke to your dear old dad!” 

“What?” 

“Took a lot of convincing, but—”

“He didn’t tell me anything about this. I’m sorry— I know you just treated me well and gave me a better seat, but why didn’t you think to ask me first? It’s not like I ever really wanted to fight, either. And they were on-board with that. It’s just— why would you change that?” 

Megumi sighs exasperatedly, “Seriously, what is this?” 

“Yeah! What is this, Gojo?” 

“Okay, okay: I’ll share a secret with the two of you, then. You’ve always been tied together, so there’s no use in me telling either of you just to not tell the rest. Keep it between yourselves, okay? Think of it as another part of your shared bond,” Gojo says. 

You purse your lip. (Your mother did that a lot. There is nothing you can do that your parents are not entwined in even now; the roots of them have been planted so deeply into your life, ingrained so deeply into your psyche.) “Look, I just want you to answer me, Gojo. Why did you do it?” Why ruin a consensus that took years of compromise and arguments to settle on? 

“...because you can. I mean, it’s your philosophy to be like that, right? If you have the ability to help someone, do it.” 

“I mean, in essence, yeah, but what kind of point are you trying to make here?” 

“That I think with that mindset you’d make a pretty good teacher. You know,” he sighs with a faux furtiveness, “Your father had that same mindset, with his strength and his intelligence and his kindness, and he was one of the best teachers you could ever have. He wasn’t an actual teacher, but… he was the kind of geezer who people thought were wise and would seek guidance from. A great guy, actually. But to cut to the chase, what I’m saying is that I want you to be a sorcerer who knows how to fight, too, instead of just the doctor in the corner that you believe will be the peak of your potential. I think you can do better.” 

“So? I mean, as bad as it sounds, I don’t want to.” 

“That’s why I just want you to try. I want you to have that test and become an actual student here. Shoko doesn’t mind you not becoming one because she thinks they won’t send you on missions if you’re considered ‘too valuable’ by the higher-ups. But I want you to become my student— I’ll give you time to think about it, but look at this way: you have abilities that exceed what you think of yourself— imagine how it sounded to other sorcerers when they heard of you back then, a thirteen-year-old with a late-blooming cursed technique grasping control of it instantly and defeating a grade two curse, even healing the person left behind. Face it: you’re technically a prodigy. The only thing that separates you from others like you is your humanity that troubles you with a reluctance to believe you can actually do anything.” 

Harsh. “...I’ll think about it. But why spring it up on me now?” 

“Maybe you know too little. O-kay, children, listen carefully. Little [Name]’s father would be a relatively famous sorcerer just because of his partial position as a healer, right? For all your life, you were sheltered and protected by your parents who never wanted you to enter into the jujutsu world. I even spoke to your mother herself, remember? Told her that you’d probably be a window but that you could still use cursed energy. You hadn’t shown signs of a cursed technique yet, but we hadn’t considered that it was because prior to that you never had to use it— the countryside areas you grew up in were practically devoid of any curses that your mother and father wouldn’t have already killed themselves. So, with your father’s quote-en-quote ‘fame’, what makes you think that people wouldn’t have wanted you as a jujutsu sorcerer from the start?” 

Just like that the worlds in your head have had worlds of meanings added to them. 

“So? What do you think, [Name]?” 

You turn to Megumi. When you’re backed out into a corner, your eyes scrambling for a place to put them, you turn to Megumi. 

His hand moves hesitantly to your shoulder, ghosting over it like a teapot over a china cup. “...whatever it is, you’ll do well. Gojo just likes to pull stuff like this.” 

It feels warm. You won’t be in trouble if you don’t run away from this. It’s nice. It’s calm, his steady hand on your shoulder as your heart feels like it’s about to take a nosedive. “...thanks.” 

“Give me some time, Gojo.” 

Yuuji and Kugisaki come back with a little boy in tow. 

“Ah— you’re back!” 

“No injuries, [Name]! We’re all scratch-free! The kid has a bruise on his knee, though.” 

“Oh. Can I see it, please?” you ask the boy, kneeling to his height. 

The boy pulls the left hem of his pants up, revealing a fresh violet blot on his skin. 

“Would you be okay if I touched your knee? I can take the bruise away for you.” 

He nods and soon it’s gone, his skin pristine and new. “Woah,” he goes, “Thank you! Was that magic?” he asks, eyes full of childlike wonder. 

You giggle. “Something like that. Could you keep it a secret?” you make the best welcoming and kid-friendly grin you can as you place your index against your lips. 

“Okay!” he whisper-shouts, smiling wide. 

Kugisaki and Yuuji rest by the building while Gojo, Megumi and you bring the kid back home. 

“You know, I wanted to say, big sister,” he starts, looking up at you, “You’re really pretty!” 

(So cute!!) “Ah, really? That other girl is really pretty too, though.” 

“You too! You could be like a model on a poster!” he exclaims, “Oh wait— I live over there! Thanks again!” he points to the turning on the left. 

“Haha, thank you,” you reply as Gojo waves at him, “Take care of yourself!” 

“I will! Bye-bye, big sister!” 

“Are you hungry?” you ask Gojo and Megumi. “Ack— I feel lightheaded.”

Megumi turns to you in an instant— “You didn’t eat enough for breakfast?” 

“Guess so,” you reply, “I should be fine, though. I think I just had something on my mind the whole day and I couldn’t feel the hunger or something.” 

He whips his phone out. 

“Oh, there’s a famous tonkatsu restaurant back in Omotesando,” you suggest as he scrolls through restaurant options. “I think Yuuji may want to eat something like steak, though, and I don’t know what Kugisaki likes. Is there anything you want in particular?” 

“I’m fine with anything,” he says, “But it’s Gojo’s money we’re going to be using, so we should probably make the most of it.” 

“Mm… we can eat beef steak in Ginza, I think… ah— Yuuji’s grandfather always called it beefteki. I’m surprised I can still remember.” 

27-6-2018 

“Hi. It’s one in the morning, Megumi,” you greet him as he stands outside your room’s door, “Can’t sleep?” 

“...yeah,” he admits sheepishly, “Sorry about this.” 

He sits down on the bed. “Nah, it’s fine. It’s like we’re going to keep doing this,” you start, “Our special ritual. Something like that. I mean, we help each other in this way, right?” 

Your hand strays upward a little, nervous as it inches toward his shoulder. 

He brings your hand there and places his own hand on top of it. “Yeah,” he replies contentedly, “But I… wanted to ask,” Megumi begins, “What Gojo said. Are you going to become a student?” 

“I don’t know. I mean, looking at how things are going now, I may. It seems like things are leaning more towards me being a full-fledged sorcerer. Haven’t had the time to think about it.” 

He seems to pause for a moment, to reconsider something one last time like a record in his head. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

“I should take you to see Tsumiki first.” 

You nearly gasp. “She wants to see me?” After all this time? “I’m happy, but… wouldn’t she be busy, though?” 

“No… I mean… you really should take a look at her first. Then you’ll see what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry, but I just— I really should have told you sooner.

“Told me what?” you frown. Learning of this feels a bit like restarting and going back to square one somehow. 

“I’m sorry, can we just… do something else for now? Just… please be patient with me a little longer. I’m sorry you have to do that so much.” 

“…okay.” 

You wake up to his figure being illuminated shyly by the light of dawn. In the tiny bubble that the two of you share— of intertwined paths, secrets, lives— and the sensation of waking from a late night, you realise just how much you want to stay there forever. 

This morning, you don’t rush back to your room and hastily go through your routine. All you do for a while, for what feels like it lasts for a century yet lasts for too little time, is look at him, at his steady, quiet breathing as his eyes are shut comfortably tight.

taglist:

@bakananya, @sindulgent666, @shartnart1, @lolmais, @mechalily, @pweewee, @notsaelty, @nattisbored

(please send an ask/state in the notes if you'd like to join! if I can't tag your username properly, I've written it in italics. so sorry for any trouble!)

#aaa so sorry for being gone for so long #got a little busy #finally!! done with this one!! #it's quite boring though #um... please look forward to chapter 9 and 10 it's less ass than this chapter lol #so sorry!! #jjk x reader #take me back (take me with you) #jjk megumi #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #megumi #fushiguro megumi #megumi fluff #megumi angst #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #jjk x fem!reader #fem!reader #ruer writes #megumi x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #megumi imagine #fanfiction #jjk fanfiction

[lahulotteshitpost]

***Sorry this started out as a rant***

The idea that you only reciprocate someone's love if you can be open about your feelings or date them is honestly insulting.

I find it especially mature from the Doctor to admit she can't date Yaz, knowing it will break her heart.

In LOTSD, you can clearly see the pain on their faces (both of them), but it's the kindest thing the Doctor could have done. Their relationship would have been unhealthy. We know this because we've seen the Doctor losing herself and being a terrible friend to Yaz.

And the Doctor knows that, she knows her mental state won't allow her to actually be in a relationship. She knows the relationship would be toxic, she knows she's been a terrible friend, she even admitted it in Flux but admitting it didn't fix her.

I've lived longer, seen more, loved more, and lost more.

- It Takes You Away

Yaz, I'm sorry. I didn't let you in to what I was doing... what I was looking for. I shouldn't have shut you out.

- The Vanquishers

But the point is, if it was going to be anyone, it'd be you. But I can't. Because at some point time always runs out.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

Not because I don't want to, because I might. But if I do fix myself to somebody I know, sooner or later, it'll hurt.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

The Doctor is very clear:

- she's not been a good friend,

- she loves Yaz,

- she wishes she could date her.

Being in love, even when it's reciprocal, doesn't always end in a relationship. Sometimes, even "trying" is impossible.

They can't be together, because the Doctor can't bring herself to do that. She's been desperately trying to avoid feelings and attachments since she fell into that Sheffield train. Of course, it doesn't work, and of course it's not a healthy coping mechanism, but this is something people go through.

Yaz understands. And I will argue that Yaz got to confess her love to the Doctor in LOTSD, they both expressed their feelings indirectly.

My nani says, courage is knowing something will hurt and doing it anyway. Mind you, she also said it's the definition of stupidity.

- Legend of the Sea Devils

This is Yaz telling the Doctor "I love you, I wish you could get over your fears, but I understand.

(And there is a lot to say about consent, as, clearly, understanding despite the pain is also the healthier reaction. You cannot force someone into a relationship, Yaz has often been mistreated by the Doctor but in this very moment, she is not a victim.)

There's a reason why she adds that bit about "stupidity" and it's not just to make the Doctor laugh.

Their romance is a slow burn with no happy ending. It's incredibly bittersweet, but it's also very real.

Mentally ill people who avoid relationships are often ashamed of it, we don't openly talk about it because it's definitely not "normal". You can be traumatised, depressed, anxious, but you're still in a happy romantic and sexual relationship, obviously.

Except when you can't.

I started shipping Thasmin during Series 12, initially believing it to be unrequited. I never expected it to be more than subtext, in a way it subverted a lot of my expectations.

I'm no different from most shippers, I was hoping for a kiss (every Doctor had one!) although I expected it to be disappointingly non romantic (à la Nine/Rose).

A kiss, the ultimate romantic trope!

Doctor Who didn't give me what I was hoping for.

It gave me something that I desperately needed.

Home.

Representation.

When you are one of those fucked up queer people, afraid of people knowing deep down you can't date, avoiding feelings and relationships because this is how your traumas shaped you, do you really get to see yourself?

Thasmin isn't every queer person, it isn't even every sapphic you will ever meet, but no story is. And their queerness isn't the cause of their doomed love, which I find extremely respectful and far from usual tropes.

I can see myself in them, at different stages of my life. I know some aro/ace spec people see their relationship as very queerplatonic and also felt represented.

Maybe you don't, and that's fine. You don't have to see yourself in them, you don't have to like this story.

Just understand other queer people will.

#Thasmin #doctor who #yaz #thirteen #the Doctor #yasmin khan #yaz khan #thirteenth doctor #queer #jodie Whittaker #mandip gill #romance #aroace #sapphic #lgbtq #queerplatonic

[doberbutts]

Also just because I've been getting some harassing anons and replies on my post ever since that one self-identified Zionist blog got BIG MAD at me for posting the Palestinian flag (ironic considering like 3 days later when I reblogged something Jewish I had people then BIG MAD at me for that too.......)

Skoll, I took on knowing I would probably have to euthanize him for his aggression. From the very beginning the deal was that I was his last stop since he was a known abuse court case dog who was taken from his most recent owners and languishing in a kennel environment but deemed otherwise unadoptable due to severe aggression. The agreement was that I would have him for however long it would take to determine if he was fixable and then either I'd fix it and keep him or I'd euthanize. He bit me three separate times when we were still learning each other, and then attacked me randomly for the crime of petting his head, an act of affection he normally would approach me to request. I euthanized him at the advice of literally everyone involved with his case, and a few days after I euthanized him I got a letter from the state telling me either I put him down or animal control would take him and do it themselves. Pennsylvania is very strict on what they consider a mauling or a maiming and the resulting bite from his attack was very severe. I have had multiple people, including vets, neurologists, and behaviorists, tell me that they think he had rage, a seizure disorder which causes uncontrollable aggression, when I describe what his random bouts of attempting to attack literally the first thing he locked eyes on looked like.

Tiki, I rescued because I wanted a tiny dog and a dog that would live longer than a doberman, because dobe lifespans are hideously short due to their health problems. Within about 5 minutes of driving away with her, I realized she was very, very sick. We stopped at the vet before we even got her home. Over the next several months and constant ER visits we discovered she had hydrocephalus and also an immune condition that was slowly eating her lungs. She crashed during a procedure that was supposed to be our last attempt at fixing the lung problem as by then we knew the hydrocephalus would kill her anyway and we were trying to extend her life as long as possible. I dropped her off for the procedure, they called me on my way home, and I turned around so I could be there to say goodbye.

Creed died from cancer 🤷‍♂️ mast cell cancer is THE most common cancer in dogs as a species and it's a genuine coin toss if removing the initial tumor fixes it or if it's too late by the time you notice, because it forms on scar tissue so it hides by looking like a regular scar. Creed had a bunch of nicks and scrapes from running around in the woods on our hikes. One of the earliest scars he ever got is what killed him in the end. Losing him is what turned my blog from what it used to be, all dogs all the time, to what it is now. Ironically, he lived roughly the average lifespan for a doberman at 7.5 years old.

Phoebe, I was not involved in the decision to euthanize her. She came to me once again very sick, and I did my best to fix the problem, but it seemed to be a lot bigger than me or her other owner had expected. Her other owner took her to multiple specialists more local to her, and finally we came to a tentative diagnosis of a liver shunt. Her condition degraded rapidly and she went blind and began having seizures, and her other owner made the choice to say goodbye. Surgery was not an option due to her already bad condition not being certain she would actually survive anesthesia. I knew that she was not doing well, but I was not informed that she had died until several months later, despite my asking for updates because I suspected she'd passed. I don't disagree with the choice, I just wish I'd known when it happened. What we thought was just a chronic hookworm infestation and possible pancreatitus from the long-term damage from the hookworms turned out to be much more serious, and deadly, when it stopped responding to treatment.

If you have any questions on my capability as a dog owner to actually keep dogs alive, I'd like to direct you to the fact that Creed and my other actually-purchased-from-a-breeder dogs have lived good long lives. I keep getting sick dogs in rescue despite being told they are healthy, and that is exactly why I refuse to rescue dogs anymore. I'm tired of breaking my heart while cleaning up a problem someone else created. This is the part of rescue that doesn't get shared- what happens when someone loses the rescue lottery again and again and again with sick and mentally unwell dogs that are doomed to die before they've had a chance to truly live? I'm tired of being that someone. I'm tired of loving dogs and hemorrhaging money in a desperate attempt to fix them and feeling the weight of their bodies in my arms when that wasn't enough and they die anyway.

At least I can say Creed had a good fulfilled life as my constant companion, even if he didn't live nearly long enough compared to what I wanted.

[somedayillbepeterpan]

I am sleep deprived from the Dublin + Galway premiere (let's face it, I've been sleep deprived for the past 2 months) and I'm already experiencing withdrawals.

So, I am ranking Luke and Nic's outfits for the press tour. This is solely based on my emotions and opinions. I have no idea about fashion at all but I do love looking at beautiful things. This is also solely the press tour 'fits. I have purposely excluded the premiere/first look outfits when they have all the cast with them. There are also some outfits I've missed as I can't seem to find where to source them other than on social media posts and the quality is bad.

I love all the outfits and I think it's what's added to this World Press Tour experience. Nicola's courage to wear some of the outlandish outfits (as per her words) sparked something in me. And waiting for Luke to smile on the red carpet was like a secret game.

But the point is-- THEY ALWAYS SLAYED.

This is ranked from lowest to highest. I've put it under the line so as not to overwhelm timelines because this has gone longer than what I thought it would be.

Excerpt - 6th rank - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

They looked like they came out of a medieval play where she is the all-powerful mage and he is the most decorated knight.

8th rank - Milan, Italy

Their outfit in here looked so sweet. The simple colour aesthetic was so easy in the eye. I especially love Nicola's headband and Luke's chiseled beard. I don't know if anyone have pointed out his elven ears but they are adorable.

I rank this 9th because I've seen them both don similar outfits before and because this was coming off from the Australian premiere, my expectations was a tad higher.

7th rank - Galway, Ireland before they went to the theatre

I love Nicola's blue coat and the nod to both the Bridgerton and Featherington colours was a nice touch. Luke looks handsome but I don't think brown is his colour as his complexion looks washed-out with this outfit. Again, just my opinion. Do not kill me.

6th rank - Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

There are a lot of people I saw who had a beef with their outfits for this leg but I actually really love both of their outlandish look. I have a weakness for long coats on men so this is already a win for me for Newts' look. But Nicola's dragon-esque dress wowed me. It looks good on her but I think the beef that people have is not so much about the outfit but the place and time where she wore it. BUT-- let me direct you to Zendaya's robot-esque press tour outfit for Dune 2 so to each their own. And don't come at me with how the dress doesn't accentuate her figures. It accentuate it very much and I'm so happy seeing her curves in all out display.

They looked like they came out of a medieval play where she is the all-powerful mage and he is the most decorated knight.

5th rank - Toronto Canada

Gosh, I love NIcola's dress and red duvet (again, her words). I think, I always love it when Nicola wears a boob tube dress because let's be honest, her breast is her greatest asset. Not to be crass but I am a proud fan of her perfect breasts. I also wished that Luke showed his blue shirt because if you look at it closely, it's not your usual men's button shirt. I would've loved to see how it accentuated his long torso. I don't think full stripes flatters him because he is already looks long. But he did have that old hollywood look with this outfit.

4th rank - Dublin, Ireland

Them matching is always a treat and it happened for the whole of the Ireland leg. They looked like that cool couple that you always see on your feed and feel equally in awe and jealous of. They both looked sooooo sexy with these outfits.

3rd rank - Sydney, Australia

This was what got my attention on the whole press tour and started my sleep deprivation. I woke up and I was blasted with this gorgeous photo of them holding hands and the wave of chemistry hit me like a firetruck. What more, they were right at my backyard and I didn't know until it was already too late. That custom Richard Quinn dress on Nicola was utterly gorgeous. She looked like an angel to me. And again, Luke in a long coat with a white singlet?? Hwooo... it did wonders to my blood.

2nd - Galway, Ireland

Knitwear is also my weakness and the fact that they were both dressed by the same designer was such a treat to see. I loved that they honoured Nic's heritage. And also, cmo'n, that hat on Nic was so cute. Also, anytime a man in a sweater always make me weak.

1st - Dublin, Ireland (everyone's favourite, I think)

THEM MATCHING WAS EVERYTHING! It was like watching them on their way to their wedding. Luke's jacket, Nicola's custom dress, and the accessory nods to Bridgerton icons -- the bee and the flower-- made this matching outfit so special. Them holding hands is always a treat but seeing them so celebrated on Nicola's hometown was so touching to watch.

I have never followed a press tour like I have done this one. This is the only press tour that has managed to grip my attention and I'm very happy to have been part of the whole experience.

I NEED THEM AGAIN. I ALREADY MISS THEM.

#i already miss these beauties #polin #bridgerton #netflix #nicola coughlan #luke newton #bridgerton seaosn 3 #bridgerton season three #netflix bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #penelope x colin #penelope featherington #colin and penelope #bridgeton season 3 #bridgerton 3 #penelope bridgerton #bridgerton press tour

[in-flvx]

I keep thinking about Edwin's dad. We know nothing about him other than he knew a lot of colourful words for people he judged. Words he said often enough that edwin picked up on them and took over his dad's judgement on people, which he keeps mirroring a century later. Edwin's family was very obviously well off, so his read on people is heavily coloured from this. He also seemed to look up to his dad, his opinion mattered to edwin, and only Charles calling him out on it because of the comment edwin made about crystal, which made him rethink that.

And it's such an interesting window into their relationship, and their social standing at large as well. It's obvious through their behaviour, down to their accents, that they aren't from the same class. Charles likely got into the boarding school through a scholarship, probably a sports scholarship (he says that it didn't matter to his dad how good he was, or how good he was at sports, he'd still get beaten) while edwin probably got in as an expected part of his life conjecture. And their first meeting is borne from compassion and a mutual understanding. But edwin used the insults his dad taught him often enough towards Charles that the latter started looking them up. Charles, due to his own upbringing, seems very used to, and takes it lightly, to be called bad things. Which is were his parental abuse and being British Indian come into play. Its par for the course. Rather words than belts and stones, probably. And he knows that edwin genuinely loves him and is committed to him, even before the confession, so he puts even less weight on them.

But yea... just thinking about Edwin growing up with neutrally okay parents, for that time. Teaching him the accepted forms of bigotry of their time. Burying his own homosexuality deep within himself. He is then surrounded by other kids who share his parents believes, and keeps to himself to stay safe. Getting into detective fiction due to his love for mysteries and compassion for the wronged parties. Spending 70 years in hell, where he probably unlearned a lot of his learned bigotry.

Getting out, and meeting this lower class, half dead, half Indian kid, who tells him he got beaten to death for protecting someone. And Charles is funny and smart, and inquisitive, he oozes charisma, charm and compassion. And he is everything Edwin's own parents are not bc of that. So Edwin falls for him. Is glad about the companionship as well, after 86 years of loneliness, 70 of which he spent in literal hell, Charles is the beacon of light, and of difference, he always craved in his own life and death. It helps that he knows that Charles won't stay long. Edwin can be open and soft, without fearing consequences, bc Charles will go to the afterlife soon anyways.

But then Charles decides to stay. With him. For him. Which is a whole other conundrum, and also exactly what Edwin had craved for longer than he knew. But edwin is still at the beginning of unlearning his upbringing, and Charles doesn't seem to mind at all when Edwin speaks his mind. So he goes on with it. He can be crass and insulting, and speak his mind, and he only learns after 30 years together that Charles might actually hurt from the things Edwin says to him, and other people. Things his father had taught him...

#edwin payne #charles rowland #dead boys detectives #dead boys detective agency #dbda #payneland #charles x edwin #edwin x charles #chedwin

[dream4jk]

How I Reprogrammed Beliefs & Self-Concept to Manifest

Only recently when I revisited the Law of Assumption/Attraction have I been able to properly consciously manifest my desires. Here's how I did it with my belief system and to improve my self-concept:

Recognized my triggers related to my desires. Why am I feeling this way? I noticed that most of the internal monologue I had when being triggered was the wounded version of me trying to navigate life in a 'safe' way. A lot of it was reliant on the reaction of others towards me - "If I do this, will they get mad at me?". This perspective made my weak self-concept feel like she wasn't good enough to receive good things in life.

Gave compassion to my younger self. I gave room for this wounded version of me to feel the way she felt and acknowledge her hurt. After that, I decided that part of me was healed and no longer part of the picture. Whenever I get triggered again, I look back to that younger part of myself, acknowledge that it was a different time and that I didn't know as much as I know now, and let it go again.

Built a new foundation. I was able to recognize that my weak self-concept and reliance on the beliefs instilled in me growing up were the cause of my blockages in conscious manifestation. Knowing all this, I got rid of my old story and built a new belief system for myself. This was done by robotic self-concept affirmations, rampages, subliminal, and only consuming content that empowered me and did not bring me down.

I can now safely say that my self-concept has improved waaay much more than I expected in 2.5 months, leading me to easily manifest my desires instantly. This is a reminder that you can do too, but find ways that are catered to your needs.

We already have our dream life, babes!

Moving with love, dream4jk 🌼

#loattraction #loassumption #loa blog #loa tumblr #law of the universe #law of assumption #law of attraction #manifest abundance #how to manifest #manifestation #manifesting #manifest your dreams #dream life #manifest sp #manifest it #affirm and persist #affirmdaily #affirmyourlife

[kairithemang0]

curtwen masquerade ball curt dips owen in a ballroom dance can't see owen blush like a maniac that's it that's the ask

So, would they know it's each other?

If they didn't, maybe it would have Curt being like "oh this guy is so hot..." and not knowing Owen is working with him on a mission or something

Hold on gonna just write about this and see where it goes (will not be edited, probably. very much a first draft)

Curt brings the mysterious man away from the party, his mask still draped over his face. He holds onto the man's wrists, his hands hot as he holds the cuffs of the man's suit jacket. They found a quiet corner, Curt's face still coded red under the mask. He listened to the man's laugh, which felt like being stabbed with knives of sweetness. He wanted to know if the man was as flustered as he was. He wanted to look back and ask him to take the mask off, so they can have a real face to face.

"Not used to being dipped now, are you, love?" The mysterious man pushed Curt against the wall of the corner they found themselves in, the only light illuminating the blue and purple mask of the man was the glimmer of moonlight from the window near them. Curt's clothes felt tight, he loosened his tie a bit. The mysterious man watched him like a vulture about to attack, ready to feast on all the skin Curt let himself show.

"It's not the first time, I simply wasn't expecting a man with your charms to show up tonight," Curt tried his hardest to be able to breathe, to keep his cool while his face began to burn with a mix of embarrassment and the feeling as if he could melt into the man at any second. He almost forgot he was working, still looking for his partner for the mission. Owen Carvour, he assumed he hadn't shown up yet. It gave Curt time for this moment, this sweet perfect moment.

The man touched Curt's collar, brushed a finger along where the fabric ended and Curt's skin began, "Your skin is surprisingly soft, love," he grinned under the mask, letting out a grin as Curt moved his neck away from the touch out of instinct, "You're cute, aren't you?" His accent was rich and gorgeous, Curt wanted to be surrounded by that voice he had for ages.

Curt didn't respond to that. He was a lot of things, but he would've never described himself as "cute". But if this man was saying it? Curt wanted to say as loudly as he could that he was the cutest man to ever live.

"You've gone quiet, what's on your mind?" The man's finger trailed up his neck and onto Curt's chin, before he made his way to Curt's trembling lip and pressed his finger into it just enough to where he heard Curt let out a quiet whimper, "Now that's a noise I didn't think could come out of your mouth, love."

"Yeah well, you've got a lot to learn about me," Curt choked out, he could barely hide it anymore, not that he was trying to. He felt the man's chest push against his, Curt didn't realize how close his face had gotten to his, he couldn't tell if it was his eyes playing tricks on him or if his face was really as red as Curt thought it looked. He was gorgeous either way.

The man laughed, and trailed his fingertips back down Curt's face, letting it travel lower than his collar and down to his loosened tie, loosening it more with his delicate finger, "Maybe I do. I'd say we should start with names, but this isn't the setting for that, is it?" Curt could practically smell his breath that was a mix of mint and pure sweetness that made Curt feel like he was going to go on a sugar rush just from breathing it in. Curt closed his eyes and his chest rose as the man touched the buttons on Curt's shirt, "Maybe I'll buy you a drink later, find somewhere with less risk."

Curt practically melted, and unable to contain his eagerness any longer and grabbed the man's face and kissed him. Curt strung his hands through the man's hair, as he felt the mask slip down the man's nose and fall to the floor. Curt didn't let that stop him, and the man grabbed his shoulders and pushed him hard against the wall.

The man's lips tasted just as good as Curt thought they would and was painfully disappointed when he felt him pull away. It was too short, he needed it back. Curt watched him, his brain beginning to work again. He knew the face, he recognized it even though he didn't look as flustered in the picture as he did now.

"Hello, Agent Mega. A pleasure to meet you," Owen Carvour fixed his hair and held his hand out to Curt, who through the confusion and desperation to feel his perfect skin again, shook it firmly.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Agent Carvour."

Again very much a first draft, still fun to write (you didn't ask for a fic, sorry :/)

#spies are forever #tin can bros #tin can brothers #owen carvour #agent curt mega #curtwen #fanfic #should i finish this? #up to yall #saf fanfic

[dark-elf-writes]

I can't stop thinking about Clint with the Avengers in one emergency mission that is taking a lot longer than expected and Sally or Paul tries calling Clint and he has to shoot an arrow quickly so he hangs up while saying "Can't talk now, Steve duck!". And five minutes later Percy appears on Mrs. O'Leary, kills most of the bad guys and goes: "Hey, pa, you got mom and papa worried, please don't answer like that, mom had a bad experience with short phone calls because of me. Anyways, if you want to go home now, the casserole is still warm. Hi Nat! You can come too!" And that is how Percy meets his pa's coworkers.

After a couple of girl nights between Sally and Natasha they end up deciding that if Sally's baby is a girl, she will be called Natasha Estelle Jackson. Also Thalia starts leaving propaganda for the hunters in Percy's house in case Nat is interested

“Barton.”

Clint pretended not to hear Stark, instead choosing to look Percy over. It wouldn’t have been the first time his hearing aid had gotten taken out in a fight after all. He was rather infamous for breaking them before Tony had taken over making them.

Percy was grinning, his hair tangled and a faint scattering of golden dust caught the light when he turned. Clint wondered if he had found the monster before or after charging head first into an Avangers Grade threat, then decided he didn’t want to know.

“Barton, you still show online. I know your ass can hear me.”

Clint thought about turning his hearing aids off, just to be petty, but Percy was turning, looking over his shoulder while he talked. “Mom and Papa are worried about you, just so you know. They’re kind of blowing up the group chat and I happened to be in the area so I thought I’d tell you.”

Before. The monster dust was from before.

“Perce, we talked about this…”

“Barton!”

Percy flinched so hard at Stark’s sudden shout, in person now as he hovered roughly five feet above their heads rather than over comms, that he nearly tumbled off Mrs. O’Leary. Clint lunged to steady him, just barely grabbing hold of his leg. Sally and Paul would be upset with both of them if Percy got another concussion and ambrosia could only do so much.

(Not for the first time Clint wished he got more of his father’s talent for healing. It certainly would have made his life a lot easier, along with trying to keep up with Percy.)

“Stark,” Clint couldn’t keep the growl out of his voice, but Percy thankfully didn’t flinch again. “Stand down.”

“What do you mean stand down? That’s a hell hound! And a child! A demigod! Where the hell did you get a demigod child!”

Percy blinked, looking between Clint and Tony, then seemed to come to the conclusion that whatever was going on wasn’t his problem. “Well I told you mom and papa were worried so that’s my job done. Oh, and dinner is ready… which will be in the oven waiting for you when you’re done with all,” He gestured vaguely somehow managing to encompass mostly Tony. Stark let out an affronted sound. “Oh, hey Nat! Mom said you can come to dinner too. Well she didn’t but she will when I tell her! Love you! Don’t get ate!”

With a click of Percy’s tongue Mrs. O’Leary bounded off down the street, leaving Clint alone with the rest of his team who were all looking at him expectantly.

Clint turned off his hearing aids and wished he had his own hellhound to help him avoid this conversation.

#the elf talks #pjo #mcu #Clint loves his team he just didn’t want to mix their crazy with his home life’s crazy #I’ve decided this is early avengers and none of them knew the others were demigods so Steve Clint and Tony are all pointing at each other #or well Steve and Tony are pointing Clint is thinking about his family #Nat has already left for Sally’s cooking tbh she has her priorities straight #also Percy whenever he sees Thalia: STOP. TRYING. TO. RECRUIT. MY. AUNT. #Thalia always ready to throw down with Percy: I. WILL. NOT.

[crescencestudio]

Alaris Release Question

i have a question to ask you all it is very important so pls vote if u have an opinion!!!!

long story short but alaris won't be able to have a full release this year (WAH!!). i'll explain a bit more under the poll for those who are curious, but it's just not looking like it'll be in the cards.

i am as sad (if not sadder) than you all are, which is why i got to thinking about a different release approach. i know devs have done segmented releases in the past, so i was curious if it would be something you all are interested in! There are two ways this can go:

Release Alaris in segments. This would mean releasing the four Central routes first which means getting content sooner and then releasing the two Fae routes later

Traditional Full Release. This would mean releasing all of Alaris at the same time, but would of course mean waiting longer before you can play the full game.

at the end of the day, each one has its own pros and cons and what i'm most interested in is what you as players would want.

SOOOOO..... Please vote for which you would prefer! Either way, Alaris will be $5-$7 so there won't be a price difference between the two options. The only difference is when you'll get access to the content!

regarding the release, it's not for any serious reason, it's just not looking possible with where we are currently at </3 even though we've made a lot of progress, there's still so much to do in the dev process. and that last 10% of polishing a game is always way more time consuming than you might expect.

as u all might know, we are about halfway through the year now that we are in june and while it is exciting we have entered beta access for kayn and will start the beta phase of development, i'm not quite as far along with alaris as i would've hoped for a full release. even if i were to go full speed ahead, i like to give about a month for playtesting each route so we can polish the game as much as we can before public release. which means even if i was able to get each route out every month until the year ends, it won't be enough time for a 2024 release.

i was thinking a segmented release could allow for players to get content sooner and might ease some of the pressure on me for releasing the full game as soon as possible. and with there being something like a "human" faction (the central routes) and a "fae" faction (kuna'a and aisa), the game kinda nicely divides itself, especially since the fae routes uncover most of the overall story's plot/mystery. but it all depends on whether players would be interested in that too hence ✨poll✨

#alaris

[patchver-mel]

Saw aromantic trending so I wanna rant share about my experience being aroace :D

It never really occurred to me as a kid that I was different when it came to romance and stuff. Whenever my friends talk about crushes, I often think about an entirely different topic cause I could never relate. It never interested me since I never felt it. People would have crushes on others in school, celebrities, or something else. But it never occurred to me that having no attraction wasn’t the norm since I always thought I’ll find the “right person” someday. I was just like “everyone gets a romantic partner eventually, why should I rush it?” Which is why I didn’t feel out of place for my lack of attraction. I was never rushed by my peers, but I was taught that love eventually happens.

Figuring out and accepting I was aroace was definitely a slow burn for me. I knew what the label was and I think I kinda identified with it but it felt like a label I tacked on cause I was always thinking in the back of my mind that I’ll like someone someday. Overtime, I realized that the present is what matters when identifying as something, and right now, I can confidently say I’ll never feel sexual and romantic attraction. I’ve come to accept that I’m aroace and I’m very proud to be.

Upon this realization though, I’ve seen how much this world and a lot of people in it values romance. So. Much. Amatonormativity. There were multiple times where I would hang out with a friend of a different gender and friends of that person would be like “oh wow u finally got a partner” or something. Like, we were just talking, which is something that, literally, everyone does. Sometimes I feel like everyone expects me to marry when I don’t want to. One time my sister was talking about her celebrity crush and my mom said “everyone has a celebrity crush” and when I replied with “I don’t,” she said “aww” like it was sad or something. And I don’t understand why?? It’s not a bad thing to not have a crush on a popular person. Also, I’m glad the internet lets me see other people are also aroace cause a lot of the time, I feel lonely. Literally all the people in my life have either had a crush and/or been in a relationship. I’m not sad I don’t feel that same attraction, but I would like someone in my real life to talk to about this, someone who’s able to understand the lack of feelings I have, someone who has the same ideas about amatonormativity. Yeah I’m good with being alone, but it can get lonely when it feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t feel romantic and sexual attraction in a 100 mile radius. I don’t got a desire to partner up in any kind of relationship, so I have to accept that I’m most likely not the first priority for anyone due to me not being their lover.

Despite those struggles, I’m still very glad to be aroace. It feels so nice to know that I can live a life that’s not pictured for me already. I don’t want a partner, I don’t want kids, I don’t want to marry, and other stuff. Anyone can do that, but I love not feeling crushes. I don’t hate romance or sex, but I don’t really care about it when it comes to real life. I never felt like I had to conform when it came to romantic relationships and I’m gonna keep doing that. If someone had a button that could give me romantic and sexual feelings, I would take the batteries out and shatter it into a million pieces, cause I’m damn glad to be aroace.

This thing turned out way longer than I expected and I know I’m a little late for aromantic visibility day but I just wanted to pour all this out. Thanks for reading all the way if u did and happy pride month y’all :>

#lgbt #lgbtq+ #aroace #acearo #asexual #aromantic #maybe I’ll do more rants like this #I’m so sorry it’s long

[basilone]

A blurred photograph + complexion for a MOTA character of your choice! Juno xx

Three months later and I'm finally getting 'round to filling this one. 🫣The time was apparently very, very right for this! Thank you for sending it. 💙

tug of war

“Fuck this. I’m fucking out. Some fucking bullsh–!”

Max winces as the door slams shut behind Lottie, effectively muffling the pilot’s tirade enough to no longer be understandable. One-Eye, furthest away from the door, casts a dark-eyed glare over Bucky’s shoulder toward the window. Undoubtedly Lottie has already stormed outside, not yet close enough to curfew to warrant trouble, and is making a case for herself being someone else’s problem. Max doesn’t track her any further than that, though One-Eye keeps peering over Bucky’s shoulder like it still matters what the hell Lottie gets up to these days.

“Draw straws?” asks Nora, casting a glance at everyone left in the room.

“Not it,” snaps Max, in tandem with Push’s coughed rejection.

“She’d put me in a headlock,” snorts Brady. His expression turns sour. “Again.”

“I’ll do it.”

“John,” says Major Cleven, sounding too tired to be surprised at Bucky’s volunteering. “Let Ace do the talking”– and Max is not imagining the collective wince that shudders through the room at Major Cleven saying Ace instead of Lot –“don’t push her too hard.”

“I’m a friendly face,” says Bucky, smiling so brightly that everyone can tell he’s lying. “She left her jacket. Gonna bring her that, before we have to ask the Ruskies how to defrost a pilot.”

Major Cleven’s hand folds around the letter Lottie left on the table. “You do that.”

Max swallows as conversations around the room begin to pick back up as soon as Bucky moves to leave. Nora and Crank certainly make a concerted effort to loudly discuss the camp’s insane music program with Brady and the rest, which Max leans back from solely because she's already told Brady anything but a funeral dirge is a waste to play these days. She doesn’t want to see their expressions shutter at the reminder of death again. She’d been too vocal about it, just like Bucky had, just like George back in England would not shy away from discussing it on the tarmac.

She watches Major Cleven’s eyebrow rise before he folds Lottie’s letter in a too-neat, too-precise manner. Sees that same letter go up in a flutter of flame – fed to the candle so decisively that it’s gone in the blink of an eye – and turn into a pile of ash in Major Cleven’s food bowl. There’s something hard in his expression. Chips of ice in his eyes and the flicker of deep-set fury around his lips. Max studies her kneecaps, knobbly in this too-big uniform, as soon as his gaze comes to rest on her bunk.

None of this is normal, but almost everyone pretends it is.

“Mama sent a letter,” offers Benny, next to her, voice remarkably steady for someone who’s just met the full brunt of Major Cleven’s silent communication. A DeMarco family letter is maybe the closest tether to sanity Max has got. “Papa included instructions on how to stitch the bedding. They’re both asking about you.”

“Yeah?” she says, leaning back against the wall, coming shoulder to shoulder with him. “What’d they want?”

“Ask how you are, if you’re getting through that cough from a few weeks back okay,” he says, nudging her slightly as if to underscore the ridicule of the mail’s slowness. “Mama’s asking if she can write to you, or if you’re expecting letters from anybody.”

Max frowns. “The hell would anyone be writing me for? Unless you count Val and George,” she amends, seeing Benny’s deepening frown out of the corner of her eye. “They’ve been writing to One-Eye and me, but George is also writing to Bucky and Val’s real busy and all.”

“That’s your crew family.”

“Only one I got, dumbass,” she shoots back, rolling her eyes for emphasis as she turns to face Benny. “I haven’t got a big family. Or any family. All I’ve got is some blurry photograph of a man who might be my daddy, might be a total stranger. Can’t write to what you don’t have, yeah?”

“I’ll tell mama.” His eyes crinkle with his smile. “She’s already adopted Frosty. She’s got room for one more.”

“Yeah, but you and Frosty are, uh, you’re all Italian and all,” says Max lamely, waving her hand as if she can shoo Benny’s stupid idea out the door again. “This complexion of mine? Pretty sure this”– she motions, rolling one sleeve up for emphasis –“is too damn dark to be Italian. First goddamn thing Huglin asked me when he clapped eyes on me is if I was one of those Tuskegee airmen. So much for being white-passing, huh.”

“You’re just very tan,” he says levelly, which she snorts at only because she’s used that excuse a million times before. “Doesn’t change the fact that my mama wants to write to you.”

Her eyes sting, then, and she has to cast her gaze to the top of her bunk until she’s certain she won’t do something stupid like cry about it. “That’s not fair,” she whispers, barely loud enough to be heard over the din of the music discussion. “I-If you… If you knew how many times…” How many times I wished someone would see me and take me in like that. She swallows the wish back down. Settles on the truth. “Folks don’t give a shit about orphans like me.”

Benny shrugs. “It’s just letters, Max.”

Max stares. “It’s never just letters with your family, Benny.”

“Yeah, so, maybe it’s not,” he says, setting his mama’s letter down. It covers the pages full of neat, looping script Max recognizes as Darlene’s – Darlene’s done all the lettering on their planes, she’d know it blind – as well as a shorter scrap of paper with the same script that’s not addressed to Benny at all. “But I’m getting real tired of updating my folks about you girls all the time, barely have enough space left to tell them how I’m doing,” he chuckles, “so be a peach and write to my mama for me sometime? You can do it with One-Eye and Push if you want, saves me even more space.”

“Right, because you’re such a poor little victim baby.”

“Cry myself to sleep about it,” he grins.

“Benny,” says Max, admiring, “sometimes you can be a real cunt.”

“All in an honest day’s work.”

“Honest, says the man who’s hoarding a letter to Lottie,” she says archly, nodding at the scrap of paper that’s still sticking out. “You gonna give her that?”

“Later.”

“Never.”

“Jesus, Maxine, I said later.”

“When? Because I’ll bunk with the fucking Ruskies on the day you hand her that,” she says, shuddering to herself. “Captain Petrov said he’ll find us a place with their bomber girls. I might even learn more Russian.”

“Captain Petrov needs to stop adopting everyone who reminds him of his little sister,” grumbles Benny back, expertly dodging Max’s question about the letter. “Hey, Buck”– and it’s a done discussion, apparently, which Max folds her arms and scowls about –“did you know Petrov put an offer in to adopt the girls?”

Max’s scowl almost breaks when Major Cleven’s confused which girls, Benny? mingles with Benny’s exasperated sigh and gesture at the room at large. And she’s gone and said it now – something else for them to focus on, something for Brady to mutter furiously about – and Benny’s already slipping off her bunk and conferring with the Major in low-voiced tones before Max can say she doesn’t think Captain Petrov would whisk them away without permission.

Her hand hovers over Benny’s letter a moment before she snatches it off the bed.

Dear Bernardo, she reads, settling in a huddle against the wall, eyes roving over the page until… She stops. Give little Maxine our love, it says, and she’s not…

She’s not ready for a thing like that.

She’s not at all prepared for something like that. And Benny won’t get that – not with his family like it is, not with Darlene writing to him like that – and Major Cleven will get it a little too well – she’s seen the way he holds his fork, all quick meal on the go – and she doesn’t want to talk to One-Eye about it because One-Eye still believes people can be good without wanting something from you.

There’s only one other person in this damn camp who’ll know something about what it means to be loved in spite of your own efforts to reject it.

“I’m going for a walk,” she announces, slipping Darlene's letter to Lottie into her large sleeve.

#masters of the air #mota #mota fic #mota oc #bernard demarco #oc: max #plus the rest of this sorry little collective in camp #Max is a troublemaker okay what can I say #basilonewriting

[basementloser]

I would've loved an episode in which Danny and Dash switch bodies.

I imagine it happens because Dash is talking to Kwan about how cool Phantom is or something, and at some point he says "Man, I wish I was Danny Phantom!"

Of course Desiree hears this, she appears before him ("So you have wished it, so shall it be!"), and the next day Dash wakes up in Danny's body. Danny Fenton's body. In Danny's room.

At this point he's pretty familiar with Desiree, and he assumes she just heard him wrong, befause Fenton and Phantom do sound alike. ("Huh, how weird! How has no one noticed this before?" We hear Wes screaming in the distance as Dash makes this observation.)

But there is no way in hell that a puny little nerd like Fenton could be Dash's hero, so something must've gone wrong. He decides to find Desiree and correct his wish.

-

Meanwhile, Danny (to his horror) wakes up in Dash's body.

He assumes he overshadowed him for some reason, but when he tries to leave, he finds out he doesn't have his powers. He also doesn't feel Dash's presence in the body.

"I know i asked for a growth spurt, but not like this!"

This isn't good.

-

Dash makes his way downstairs, and is immediately greeted by Jack Fenton, who has a million chores for him.

"Come on, Danno! Those ghosts I fished out of the ghost zone with the Fenton Ghost Fisher™️ aren't gonna put themselves back!"

Before he can object he is pushed into the lab and has to fight a couple of ectopusses. This goes very badly at first, until Dash remembers the bit of ghost hunting training Danny gave him and his classmates, when they had to rescue their parents from that big pirate ship.

As soon as he's done, exhausted on the floor (Damn, Fenton really needs to work out more!), he hears Jack yelling down the stairs.

"Son, don't forget to change the ecto filtrator! You don't want Amity Park to blow up, do ya?"

More dangerous chores keep getting added for longer than Dash thought was humanly possible.

(At some point Jack gave him some fudge, which helped.)

How does Fenton live like this???

-

We switch back over to Danny, who is now looking around Dash's room. He already knew about the cute pink teddy bear collection, but he didn't expect to find what can only be described as a fan shrine to Phantom.

There are newspaper articles, pictures, merch ("Wait I have merch? How come i didn't know that? Who is selling Phantom merch?" it's Tucker), and a poster.

(the b-story of this episode is Sam & Tucker running a Phantom merch line, and trying to stop the Box Ghost from stealing all the boxes of merch.)

Danny keeps looking around Dash's room, and finding out more about him through his stuff.

At some point he finds Dash's diary. He contemplates if he should read it or not, but in the end he decides that since Dash is always such a jerk to him, he doesn't care about morals and reads it.

Reading the diary, Danny starts to feel kinda bad, because in the entries Dash actually seems human. He's insecure, and he actually struggles with a lot. He's afraid to talk about what he's going through.

His parents are very absent, and the A-listers kicked Valerie out when her life wasn't perfect anymore. He doesn't want that to happen to him.

(I personally headcanon Dash as an extremely closeted gay guy with a lot of internalised homophobia, who hasn't stopped trying to convince himself that he's straight, but his struggles could be about anything.)

After reading all that, Danny starts to feel kinda bad for him.

-

Over the course of the day ghosts keep showing up to fight or talk to Fenton, and Dash is incredibly confused by this. Also Danny must have a weird cold or something, because he's been exhaling cold air at random all day.

"I AM THE BOX GHO- Hey! Wait! Why are you running away? You never run away. You always trap me in your cylindrical contraption of doOoOoOm!" (The Box Ghost is wearing a Phantom t-shirt, and is holding a box full of other Phantom merch. After Dash runs away, Sam and Tucker appear, chasing the Box Ghost through the street, trying to get the merch back.)

Later Johnny 13 shows up to fight, because he and Kitty broke up for the 4th time this week, and he wants to let out some steam. "Shouldn't you change for our fight, kid?" Change into what? Wait he wanted to fight, right? Dash puts on his gym uniform, and boxing gloves. Johnny looks at him weird, but doesn't question it. They have a little boxing match in the backyard.

Youngblood came by to play astronauts with him, and was very disappointed that Danny didn't fly up to space with him. (Wait didn't that dead kid kidnap Dash's parents??! Also why in the hell does he think Fenton has the ability to fly?????!! And breathe(!) in space?!!!)

After finishing what seems like a billion ghost related chores (and dealing with way too many ghosts), Dash finally manages to get out of the Fenton house, and starts to look for Desiree.

-

Danny walks out of Dash's room, and runs into Dash's dad. He opens his mouth, but he doesn't seem to care about what he's going to say. "Son I am so incredibly disappointed in you." the dad starts, then continues to list all the reasons he is a huge disappointment who should try harder. "Those weird little bears in your closet!" and "Why don't you have a girlfriend yet?"

The whole interaction is horrible, and makes Danny appreciate his own parents (weird as they may be) so much.

Dash's mom also berates him about being a disappointment, because they found his Phantom collection ("He is a GHOST, Dash! He's dangerous!"), and because his grades are so low. ("What do you mean tutor? Just study harder!")

They threaten to take Pookie away if he doesn't get his shit together.

-

At some point Danny has deduced that this body situation must be some ghost bullshit, and he decides to go to Fentonworks.

Then he runs into Dash in his body, and they have a little spiderman moment

After the internal shock and "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY GET OUT!"s have gone around, Dash tells Danny what happened.

Danny informs Dash that most of Desiree's wishes become permanent after 24 hours. They decide to team up to get Desiree to undo this wish before that happens.

It's noted that Dash didn't say the word "puny" or any other insult, when he says "I really don't wanna stay in your body.".

We see a compilation of Danny and Dash searching Amity Park for Desiree, and other wishes she has granted. They fight off a couple of small ghost things together.

(during this compilation we see Sam and Tucker chasing the Box Ghost around. "How is he this hard to catch?? We've done this millions of times already!!!" -"Well maybe if you didn't drop the fucking thermos!")

After the fight, Dash sighs and says "Man, I had no idea how difficult your life is, Fenton. I've only been living it a day and it sucks."

they have a little heart to heart, and Dash sincerely apologises for bullying Danny so much.

"why did you want to be Phantom anyway? I assume his life isn't that easy either." Danny says.

"I dunno, man. I just thought it would be cool to be, y'know, going ghost."

White rings appear around Dash. He turns into Phantom.

they have another moment like this:

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"I"M- I- YOU- YOU'RE PHANTOM??!!!"

"NO! YES! NO TIME! FIGHT HER!!!"

Because of course, this is the moment that Desiree appears, and starts fighting them.

"I dont know how!!!"

The beginning of the fight is very awkward, with Dash not knowing how Danny's powers work, and Danny not being used to fighting Desiree without his powers.

Eventually they get the hang of it, with Danny telling Dash how to activate and use certain powers in the moment, and they defeat Desiree.

All the wishes get undone, and they suck her up into a thermos.

After that, they talk about Danny being Phantom. Danny tells Dash the story of how he died got his powers, and Dash shares some of his secrets with Danny so they're "even". (it's some stuff that wasn't in Dash's diary. Danny doesn't mention that he read that, but that can be conflict in a later episode)

They aren't friends yet, but it's a start. Now that he walked a mile in Danny's shoes, Dash feels so bad about bullying him all those years, and he starts to question his life choices. (start of a Dash redemption arc i guess). He promises to stop bullying in general, and help out Danny however he can. (He also promises to not tell anyone about Danny's secret identity.)

(The episode ends with Sam and Tucker, having finally caught the Box Ghost, only to realise that in the chase/fight all the merch got way too messed up to sell, so it was all for nothing. Tucker throws the thermos down in frustration, the Box Ghost gets free, grabs the Phantom shirt he wore earlier, yells "BEWARE!" and flies off. Sam sighs and gets ready to start chasing him again, but Tucker stops her. "I give up. Let him have the fucking shirt.")

#the next episode we see dash in the background trying to apologise to all the nerd he stuffed in lockers #running after mikey like “please forgive me!!” and mikey is like “AAAA WHY R U CHASING ME!!!” #danny phantom #dash baxter #danny fenton #desiree #danny phantom prompt #this got a lot longer than i expected #feel free to add

[lloydfrontera]

lloyd asks javier to kill him. his parents are dead, the queen is dead, the entire continent is in ruins, everything they worked for is gone. but he can fix it. he can fix it. he just needs javier to kill him. it's ok, he can fix everything, he can save everyone he just needs javier to kill him when he tells him to.

javier refuses. of course he does, lloyd is all he has left, he's all that's left for him to protect. he promised to protect him with his life how could he ever kill him.

but lloyd insists. he says it's the only way. he can save them, all of them, all of it, he can save everyone, he just needs javier to do this for him. it needs to be javier, because it has to be quick and it needs to be precise and there's no one in the world lloyd trusts more. he already trusts javier with his life, now he's just trusting him with his death too.

and they fight and they argue and they go back and forth and they beg and they plead but lloyd doesn't budge and in the end there's very little javier can deny lloyd. he trusts him far too much for that.

and so the day comes. lloyd talks and javier listens and it feels like the words aren't for him but it doesn't really matter anyway.

javier asks if there's really no other way as he has a thousand times before. lloyd says there isn't as he has a thousand times before as well.

trust me, because he understands what he's asking him to do

alright, because he already does

and javier steadies his sword and he steps forward.

and he wraps his arms around lloyd, pulling him close, until the space between them dissapears completely, tightly like he's afraid lloyd will vanish if he lets go

lloyd hesitates because they had never been the type to hug like this, but he's about to die and he's scared and he knows how cruel of a request this was for javier so he allows himself to hug back

and that's when he feels the sword piercing his back, going through his body and straight into javier's chest in a motion so fast it ends almost as soon as it began, with both of them impaled by the same sword

and he wants to scream and rage because this wasn't what he asked, this wasn't what he wanted javier isn't supposed to die, he's not allowed to die, it's the whole reason lloyd is doing all this-

but javier's aim is perfect as always and he can already feel himself fading away. quick and precise, just like he asked

and he's tired and their legs gave way beneath them at some point but javier is still holding onto him and it's. it's nice. to be held like this.

so he closes his eyes

and lloyd opens them back in his room, breathing fast, the cold of the sword in his back and the warmth of javier's blood on his hands still painfully, vividly real in his memory

it's just one future, he reminds himself, it won't happen that way

he won't let it happen that way

he won't end up impaled like that

javier won't end up impaled like that

he won't allow it

(he almost laughs as he feels the scythe piercing his stomach)

(one out of two isn't so bad)

#i talk a lot <3 #the greatest estate developer spoilers #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #llojavi #i am haunted by the failed timelines you don't understand #this got a lot longer than i expected it to lmao #javier asrahan #tged

[faunandfloraas]

It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.

#even silly shit like bringing up drinking even tho staff has clearly told him not too #like yeah its silly but its still sticking to his guns of being like we arent actually children anymore thanks #the food thing too like in an old 2 kids room he said something about not being able to eat on his bday bc they were filming so evidently #there was a moment in time when he caved to the shitty diet obsession kpop had but ever since hes never really said anything like it again #instead hes telling everyone to eat well and reminding people to have dinner or lunch every other day #even the comment about growing his hair out but then being like lol the stylist probably wont like me saying that or whatever #and like the yeah im going to the gym but im not lifting. dont expect me to bulk up. im doing it for stamina<< that made me cackle #bc i did see people on twt being like but what if seungmin got buff tho omg hed be so hot 🥺 Well him bein buff isnt what this is about #so he went and made sure people were realistic. not everyone needs to be noticeably cut yk #idk maybe bc i watched most all the skz content all the way through #and now i go back and gif stuff i notice patterns more easily than if youve been here for longer and havent watched older stuff #for a while- maybe? idk its just funny but i also see takes a lot and have to stop myself from going No <3 #anyway this is my obligatory insane ksm tangent of the week. see you in 5 minutes. #🐶

[arcanacenturia]

GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS

Something's so not right in S2 though.

The only time we "see" God is whenever she talks to Job and just blabbers stuff at him because she's bored af and doesn't have anybody to speak with except maybe the Metatron.

When Aziraphale tries to talk directly to God in S1, the Metatron tells him "Speaking to me is speaking to God" and categorically refuses to listen to Aziraphale's request.

That's weird. That's so weird.

We have no proof that he's actually relaying all this information to God. She hasn't appeared to anyone in centuries. He's also aware of Aziraphale's will to stop the arma-fucking-geddon.

He's aware of Azi's relation to Crowley.

As I've seen stated somewhere on Tumblr earlier, he's aware that just by trying to perform a teeny tiny miracle together they performed a huge ass one that triggered alarms in Heaven and succeeded in separating the two, because he's aware, and could be scared, of their combined powers.

Okay but why would he need to separate them?

A second too late, he told Aziraphale about The Second Coming, which is most likely linked to a new Armageddon again.

Related to that, we never heard God herself about the destruction of earth. Anything said about it is told by other characters. Note to myself: list up who talked about it.

The Metatron seems to be hiding something. Unlike the other (arch-)angels he's not naïve, he wears a black coat, he doesn't sugarcoat his speech to humans (and my synesthesia says he speaks Spiky, and not a good spiky).

I think it's also noteworthy that Crowley & Aziraphale don't communicate, not with words, Crowley never told Aziraphale about what Gabriel told him but he also never told Aziraphale what he found out about Gabriel in S2. He never told Aziraphale that his bosses were planning to restart Armageddon until Gabriel went Nah, that it's the reason the Metatron demoted him. He demoted the current Prince of Heaven for stopping it, then promoted Aziraphale, who is a lot more tame and also has been a cause of Armagenope to fail, to lead it.

I don't think Crowley fell because he asked questions to God. I think he sauntered vaguely downwards because he asked too many questions to the Metatron, that would put his plan in danger.

This bitch is SHADY AS FUCK and I'm honestly so eager, so curious to see what he (and season 3) is going to bring us. I wonder if he's lived among the humans, too. Besides, I feel like he's going to try (and maybe manage) and use Azi as his marionnette for whatever stuff he's preparing.

And I feel whatever he's preparing is really against God.

Thank you Neil Gaiman for this ending because even if it HURTS it's so interesting. There are so many things that could be going on behind the heartbreak. I could be going on about how Crowley probably even found out part of what happened. I've seen people speculate with good arguments that Crowley lost part of his memory after falling, and if it is the case that could be another thing done to prevent Crowley from stopping the Metatron.

There is SO MUCH that could be, so much that WILL be, and so little that we can know.

No matter in what form, I'm so excited to see how this will develop in the future.

#long post #Maybe I read too much into this but also that's how my brain works #I think we've been focusing a lot on the last apparition of the Metatron in the series and not enough in older ones #Especially the apparition in S1 #This got way longer than I expected #I'm so scared to post this tbh I don't know how it will be received #I could be wrong!!!!!!!!!! #I'm just excited #Also I got the greenlight to post it #Good Omens #Good Omens 2 #Good Omens 3 #Good Omens season 2 #GOS2 #GO2 #go2 spoilers #good omens s2 spoilers #aziraphale #go 2 speculation #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #gomens #gomens 2 #Metatron #God #Heaven #Speculations #go3 #go3 speculation