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mandobatemans · 10 months

Text

intrigue (Tom Wambsgans x f!reader)

warnings: infidelity, fingering, unprotected piv sex, soft!dom tom, size kink kinda, biting, greg, do NOT have sex with the head of conservative news organizations irl!!!, i am a shivcel fr anything negative abt shiv in here i didn't mean it ily siobhan 🫶, NSFW UNDER THE CUT

word count: 4,740 (i got carried away)

A/N: this is loosely based on s4 e7 but there's no real timeline so it probably takes place like somewhere around season 3 or 4? this is my first succ fic so...enjoy 🤗 & also this took me SO long to write i'm so deeply sorry to anyone who was waiting

also posted to ao3

Tom had never been a fan of the whole “open marriage” arrangement. When he thought back to that fateful night (fateful night…who else would say that about their wedding night?) what he remembered most was the look on Shiv’s face when she told him that she wanted an open marriage. On their wedding night.

It was more for Shiv anyway. Tom rarely thought about actually acting on the arrangement, whether it be out of love for Shiv or loyalty to her father, he wasn’t sure. Sure, he had kissed someone here or done oral there when high on coke, but he had never actually fucked anyone else.

Something was different, though, tonight. Firstly, they were hosting a Waystar/ATN event at their apartment, and despite being chairman of ATN, he wasn't even sure what the evening was for. Shiv had told him about it last minute, casually mentioning it as they were being driven to work, like it was dinner at Logan’s rather than hundreds of media moguls and politicians to host. Actually, dinner at Logan’s felt equally, if not more, important than tonight. A better equivalent for how nonchalantly Shiv had mentioned it would be Connor inviting them somewhere.

Secondly, Shiv had suggested, outright, that they both find someone to hook up with at the party tonight. Earlier in their bedroom, after getting dressed in silence, Shiv had turned to Tom while putting her earrings in to share the idea. He knew she would be acting on it whether or not he did, and why shouldn’t he? It had been a while since he had gotten laid and was verbally (and physically) assaulting Greg a lot more as a result.

Did he just pick someone? How did you approach someone and say, “Hey, I’m in an open marriage but I’ve never actually done anything more than get my dick sucked with anyone else…anyway, let’s fuck!”

Tom fidgeted with his glass as he surveyed the room.

Despite your personal beliefs and the endless human rights violations that Waystar was affiliated with, their (and by extension ATN) events were some of the most lavish you'd ever attended. As a political journalist, it was standard for your company to send a journalist or two to whatever soirée the Roys were throwing. Everyone took turns, and this time you had drawn the short straw. It hadn’t been too bad so far, you thought, although perhaps you were jinxing yourself. You had kept to yourself mostly, chatting with other journalists you frequently saw around the city on assignments, snacking on the hors d'oeuvres, and listening to the ridiculous conversations political and media bigwigs were having.

You had been to an event hosted by the Roys before, but they were usually at ATN, Waystar, or some expensive venue. Being invited as a member of the press to Shiv Roy’s apartment felt strangely intimate. You were certain this was some calculated business move on the part of one Roy or the other, but you honestly didn’t really care. Whatever drama was happening within Waystar Royco was contained within the Roy family. You were simply here to supplement a piece your coworker was writing on the atmosphere of this political season.

It was only an hour into the party when you had collected all the quotes and interviews you needed, and sampled almost all of the hors d'oeuvres. Your boss expected journalists to stay for most, if not all, of the night for these things, in case some political bombshell were to happen. You were pretty sure nothing too monumental was going to happen in this room full of suits, especially with all of the Roys notably absent from the festivities. Even Shiv, whose house it was, looked like she wasn't paying any attention to what was going on in her home. In fact, she had been in the corner all night, talking to some prominent New York and D.C. women, important enough that you knew their faces but not important enough for you to attach any names to them.

You checked your phone for the time. You could probably get away with leaving in another hour if you made up some family emergency as an excuse for your editor. Even another hour seemed like ages. Maybe you could re-interview some people? Speak to some guests whose quotes would never make it in the article just to kill time? Sighing, you opened your messages, thumbs hovering over the chat with your editor, putting your journalism degree to use by brainstorming an excuse to get you back home in your bed before ten o’clock. When you turned around to pace while you typed (a nervous habit), you found yourself face-to-face with one of your hosts.

It felt like a fucking cliché. Literally bumping into someone at a party? If one of your writer friends wrote something like this, you'd tell them it was bullshit and things like that didn't happen in real life. Yet here you were, inches away from–

“Tom Wambsgans, Chairman of Global Broadcast News at ATN.” He introduced himself, reaching out a hand for you to shake.

You returned the handshake, grateful that he wasn’t offended by you bumping into him. “I know who you are.”

“And I know who you are.” He paused. “That sounded stalkerish, didn’t it? I meant, I know who you are because I’ve read your articles.”

“You have?” You were surprised. Your company and your articles in particular were considered left-leaning, the very opposite of the stories ATN ran.

He nodded. “Gotta keep up with the competition. I’ve seen some of your features on the network, as well.”

“Really? I would have thought you would just watch ATN all day,” you teased.

Tom made a face and then shook his head. “No, no, no. Plus, I wouldn’t really call any of our journalists ‘journalists’ so much as pretty faces. You do your own research and look good on the camera. That’s impressive.”

You raised an eyebrow and Tom’s eyes widened, processing what he had just said.

“God, I do sound like a fucking stalker.”

You laughed, “Just a little bit.” You let him cringe for a second, then smiled to reassure him. “No, but I’ve seen some of your interviews since you took over ATN. You look good on the camera, too.” You paused, before adding, “Maybe that makes us both a little stalkerish.”

His eyes lit up at your response, earning a genuine laugh (the first one that night not faked for some suit, he noted).

“Uh, sorry for bumping into you. I wasn't looking where I was going,” you explained, waving your phone in your hand for context.

“Ah, cell phone. The curse of the twenty-first century.”

You furrowed your brow involuntarily for a moment. He wasn't how you expected the spouse of a Roy to be like. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, you weren't yet sure.

“I’m making a huge ass of myself, aren't I?” He sighed. “I’ll leave you to the party–”

“No! It’s okay. Stay,” you heard yourself say. It was Tom’s turn to raise an eyebrow. Okay. You found him attractive. And even despite his eccentric comments, you also found yourself wanting to talk to him more. You were, however, purposely avoiding looking at the wedding ring on his finger.

To Tom, it all seemed too perfect. You, for example. He was being honest when he said he had seen and read some of your work and that he enjoyed it, and he did sometimes watch other networks to get an idea of the competition, but he had left out the fact that there was something about you in particular that made him watch the entire segment when you happened to be on air. And the fact that sometimes he'd scroll through your articles online and imagine you reading them aloud to him. But he wasn’t a stalker. And now you were here, in his house, on the night that his wife had all but shoved him into the bed of anyone that he wanted.

But still; one pleasant, slightly flirtatious conversation didn't mean you wanted to ride off into the sunset with him. Or, more accurately, go upstairs with him.

He scanned the room for Siobhan. Although it had been her suggestion, and he knew she had acted on the arrangement before, he still felt like it was somehow a trap. Like she’d hire someone to hide behind the bedroom door that night and catch him with his pants down (literally) to use as blackmail.

But sure enough, she was across the room, laughing at something some lobbyist had said, and resting her hand on the other woman’s arm slightly longer than a casual touch would last.

The longer he thought about it, the more confident he felt. If you were interested, he wanted to spend the night with you. And maybe more. But he was getting ahead of himself.

“It's kind of loud over here. Come on,” he gestured with his head toward the opposite corner of the apartment, one not occupied by any guests save for an elderly politician snoring on the couch.

You followed him, nodding when he asked if you wanted another drink before picking a champagne flute off of a passing server’s tray. He handed it to you once you reached the corner, your hands touching during the exchange. It seemed like even more of a cliché to feel sparks fly at this tiny touch, so you ignored that, as well.

“You host these kinds of things often?” You asked, leaning against the wall and taking a sip of your champagne. The room was full of very important people, though none of them seemed to be talking about very important things. You couldn't quite wrap your head around why a high-level executive who had married into one of the largest media conglomerates was wasting his time talking to you (flirting with you?), but you had seen stranger things in this city.

He grimaced and shook his head. “No, no. I’m usually just a guest.” Tom laughed and took a sip of his drink. “And not a very important one, at that.”

“I’m sure that's not true. I mean, how many people watch ATN? And you’re in charge of what airs or doesn't air.”

“1.89 million,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink, “Outside of the office, nobody’s really worried about what I think.”

“Not even your wife?” You stopped after you said the words, giving your brain a second to catch up with your mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect, I–”

“No, no, no, no, it’s okay,” he assured you, reaching out to rest a hand on yours consolingly. Tom leaned in closer so only you would hear him, unnecessary considering the secluded corner you two were in.

“But no, not even my wife.”

Your eyes darted to his hand atop yours, suddenly aware of how large his hands were. They almost completely covered yours, and they felt so comfortable and right there, like–

“We have an open marriage,” he suddenly said.

“Oh.”

Tom seemed disappointed with this reaction, quickly removing his hand from yours and adding, “That’s just to say that, our marriage is, uh, unconventional, so her not caring what I have to say isn’t that unusual.”

You were still processing the feel of his hand on yours, much less the revelation that he actually might be flirting with you and that it actually might go somewhere. By the time your thoughts caught up with you, it seemed like he was about ready to excuse himself and go scream at his reflection in the bathroom.

“Well, I’m sorry about that,” you responded, mirroring his gesture from before and resting your hand on top of his to comfort him. “You don’t deserve that, really.”

He scoffed. “You don't know what I deserve.”

You looked up at him, taking the time to absorb the look in his eyes that revealed just how much he was going through.

“Uh, Tom?”

Tom rolled his eyes and turned away from you to snap at the source of the interruption. “What, Greg? Can’t you see I’m having a conversation?”

“It’s just–well, Shiv is leaving with someone.” The taller man gestured at the door, where sure enough, Shiv was weaving her way through the crowd toward the elevators with the lobbyist from earlier, her hand guiding her by the small of her back.

Tom bit the inside of his cheek. “Well, Greg, we do have an open marriage. So, everything’s fine. Now, scram.”

Greg looked between the two of you and hesitated for a second before nodding and disappearing back into the bustle of the party.

Tom turned back to you. “That’s Shiv’s cousin, Greg. I’ve sort of taken him under my corporate wing, so to speak. Showing him the ropes and all that.”

You nodded, finishing your champagne.

“Well,” he said.

“Well,” you echoed.

He paused for a minute, though it seemed to last much longer than that. “You’re writing an article about this party, right?”

“Yeah,” you responded, unsure of where he was going with this.

Tom leaned in, lowering his voice. “What would your editor say if you got a behind-the-scenes look at the party?”

You raised your eyebrow.

“Of course, you'd have to come upstairs…” Something shifted in his tone. You were well aware of what the change implied, and you’d be lying if you said you didn't want to jump at the offer. This wasn’t you, though. Sleeping with a married man? On top of that, not just any married man, but the host of the party that you were covering for work. It sounded like a problem you’d encounter on an Intro to Ethics exam. But any moral qualms you had about the issue were pushed out of your head when you registered the way Tom was looking at you.

“Of course,” you repeated, nonchalantly, setting your empty champagne glass on a nearby table.

Something flickered in Tom’s eyes. “Shall we?”

“Lead the way, Wambsgans,” you replied, gesturing dramatically.

Neither of you spoke for the entire walk away from the excitement of the party to the quiet of Tom’s bedroom. It looked much like you had expected it to look: modern, chic, and impersonal. You were sure Tom (or Shiv) had some personal items somewhere in the house, but the bedroom was so clean and styled that the only indication anyone slept or dressed in there was some of Shiv’s makeup and jewelry strewn haphazardly on the vanity.

When he had closed the door behind you, Tom stepped closer to you experimentally, as if he was afraid you'd flee like a wild deer if he moved too fast. You stepped closer as well, which seemed to give Tom the permission he was looking for. Within seconds, his mouth was on yours, his hands cupping your face, all tongue and teeth. There was hunger and desperation in the kiss, but it was hypnotizing, beckoning you deeper and deeper. He was almost doubled over to reach you (god, he was tall), so you shifted your weight to stand on your tiptoes.

Tom broke the kiss, leaving you with a confused look on your face.

He shed his suit jacket, throwing it carelessly on the floor. Next, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. Tugging on the length of his tie, he loosened it enough to undo a few buttons at his collar, revealing an inviting expanse of chest hair.

“Turn around,” he told you, snapping you out of your male-stripper-fantasy gaze.

You did as he said, something in his tone going straight to your core. You felt him run his hands from your shoulders down your arms, then down your hips and up to your waist, the action bunching up the fabric of your dress. He moved your hair to the side, pressing hot kisses to your neck that made your eyes roll back.

“Can I take this off?” He whispered, his lips trailing up to your ear.

You nodded in response, trembling momentarily under his touch. Tom unzipped your dress, helping you push it down your body and step out of it. He unhooked the back of your bra without moving further. It occurred to you then how wrong this was, to be sleeping with someone else’s husband in their own bedroom, but to your surprise, you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about was the heat of Tom’s gaze on your bare back. You took your bra off the rest of the way and discarded it on the ground next to your dress. Once in only your underwear, you turned back around to face him, watching his eyes follow every curve of your body to drink in the newly exposed skin.

“Wow,” he said, simply, reaching out to grab you by the hips and pull you closer to him. “You’re gorgeous.”

Grinning, you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him again, cradling his face in your hands. You felt him smile back into your kiss. Before you knew it, he had you pressed against the wall, totally enclosed by his larger form. He went from kissing you on your lips to your neck to behind your ear to your chest, as if he couldn't decide which spot deserved the most attention or for how long.

One of his hands slid down to the waistband of your underwear, the cold metal of his wedding ring a shock against your hot skin. You made eye contact with him as his hand slipped between the fabric and your skin cup your cunt, whining when you felt his touch. He seemed to get off on that, capturing you in a kiss again at the same time he slipped a digit into your wet heat. You were too hot; you pressed your hand to his chest to stabilize yourself and pushed your underwear down your legs and kicked them off. Tom smiled at this, getting right back to pumping his finger in and out at a pace that almost made you melt down the wall.

It was probably a power trip thing, you thought, you totally naked and him almost fully clothed. You didn't mind because it was kinda hot, but it wasn't what you had expected from Tom based on the unassuming, Midwestern image of him that was circulated in columns and by the Roys themselves. But, then again, you hadn't expected to find yourself in this position at all when you left your apartment earlier that night.

The pace of his fingers felt so good, so intoxicating, that now that you had him, you needed more of him.

“A-another one,” you whined between kisses.

When you opened your eyes to look at him, Tom had a smug look on his face. Sure, it was arrogant, but it turned you on, so who really cared? “Yeah?” he asked, “You want another one?”

“Tom,” you hissed, gripping onto his shoulder as his finger curled in just the right way that it made your legs go numb.

The look remained on his face, but he added another finger nonetheless. Tom appeared to inhabit both extremes when it came to sex: he really wanted to pleasure you but he also really wanted to do what he wanted. Luckily, those two wants aligned.

He was making you feel so good that you needed to have more of him. Your kisses got sloppier, each so desperate to be further molded with one another that your tongues tried to push impossibly further into the other’s. Tom shifted his hand so he could angle his thumb to rub slow, tantalizing circles on your clit as he continued to pump his fingers. Your grip on his shoulder tightened–you feared your fingernails would leave dents in his skin–but like so many other things tonight, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You could feel the pressure rising in your middle, your cunt clenching around his fingers in anticipation of your impending orgasm, but then it stopped.

You opened your eyes that you hadn't realized were squeezed shut to look at Tom, who had his hand in front of your face, fingers glistening with your slick. “Open,” he encouraged. You obeyed, accepting his fingers into your mouth and licking them clean with a ‘pop.’ He stared at you like you had hung the stars in the sky. He jerked his head toward the bed. “Sit.”

There was authority in his commands, but you didn’t fear him; from the short amount of time you had spent with him, you knew he was at his core a sweet man. You would admit to yourself that you had been curious how his awkward, nervous energy would translate into the bedroom, but once alone, he seemed to be a different man.

You watched him strip off the rest of his clothes eagerly, smiling up at him once he rejoined you on the bed totally naked. He must’ve noticed you staring, because he asked: “Do you want me to put on a condom?”

You shrugged, shifting your eyes back up to his own. “No, it’s okay. I'm on birth control.”

He sighed in relief. “Good. I don't even know if I have one in here.”

“Then why’d you ask?” You laughed, encouraged by the smile that crossed his face when you did so.

“Seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. If you said yes, I would’ve sent someone to go get one or borrowed one from–”

“Tom?”

“Yeah?”

“Just fuck me already.”

“Alright. If you say so,” he teased, leaning down over you to kiss you. Both your lips were red and puffy from all the kissing and some biting, but it didn’t matter. You could feel his cock pushing against your stomach from the angle, so you reached down to take him in your hand and pump his length.

“Fuck,” he murmured against your skin, face buried in your neck as he pressed kisses to the every inch of available flesh, “Fuck…Can I?”

“Please,” you responded, noticing a little desperate hitch in your voice that you ignored. Tom licked his hand and cupped your sex with it, running the pads of his middle fingers through your folds a few times to collect the wetness between your legs. Gently, he guided his length into your opening

inch by inch, watching your face for any sign of discomfort before bottoming out.

You should’ve expected his dick to be big from his height, the size of his hands, his nose, whatever, but you hadn’t considered just how big. It was quite a stretch to take him fully, but he gave you all the time you needed to adjust and get comfortable. When you were ready, you bucked your hips up into his to give him the okay.

Tom took your permission to move and ran with it, grabbing your left leg and placing it over his shoulder before pressing you down further into the mattress with his body weight so he could thrust into you at a deeper angle.

You lifted your head to meet him to return to making out, the sensation of his tongue down your throat even more erotic now that he was inside of you, as well.

His thrusts were deep but not as aggressive as he had been with his fingers. He wouldn’t vocalize this, or even admit to himself that he was thinking this, but he wanted this to last. As much as it was supposed to be a hookup–emotionless sex–he found himself wanting it to happen again, despite his attempts to push those thoughts deep into the recesses of his mind.

One arm was thrown around Tom’s neck, hand gripping a fistful of his hair. Your other hand went down to your clit, beginning to rub circles to match the pace of his thrusts.

“You wanna cum again?” He teased, “Again, when I haven't cum once?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, playfully, slipping your finger down from your clit to lightly stroke the length of his cock that wasn't fully inside of you.

He let out a moan, eyes twinkling as he snapped his hips a little harder, snickering when you gasped in response.

Tom caught you in another kiss, resting his weight on his forearm that was positioned next to your head. You arched your back up into him, urging him deeper, which he obliged. “Touch yourself,” he said, disconnecting his mouth from yours just long enough to give the command.

You smiled into his lips, rubbing your clit again as his thrusts became sloppier and jerkier. He was holding on until you came again, despite his earlier cockiness. The moment he felt your walls tighten around him, he let go, spilling inside of you with a grunt.

He pulled out, rolling off of you to lay beside you.

Tom was still catching his breath, and you watched his chest heave for a few moments. “Hey, you okay?” He asked. “Everything alright?”

You smiled, nodding and reaching over to kiss him again. “I'm good, yeah. You?”

“Perfect, actually.” Tom smiled back at you. He found himself lost in the moment, lost in your eyes, lost in the connection you two had just had, and it was too much for him. Quickly, he sat up, ready to change the subject. “You need to clean up?”

You furrowed your brow at the sudden shift in his demeanor, but going along with it nonetheless. Despite him just having been inside you, you didn't feel like it was your place to mention the change. “Yeah. Can I?” You asked, gesturing vaguely toward the bathroom.

“Yeah. Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Towels are above the sink.”

You flung your legs over the side of the bed and stood, heading toward the bathroom. “I’ll just clean off real quick, then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“No, no, no. I mean, you can stay the night. If you’d like, that is. I could call you a car, though, if I’ve made some awful faux pas and you don’t want to look at me for another–”

“Tom.” He focused on you again after his brief spiral. “I would like to stay.”

He grinned. “Great, that's great.”

“Just let me–” You waved your hands around your lower body, “–clean all this up.”

“Yeah, of course, sure. I’ll be here.” He added the last part in a quasi-sing-song voice.

At the sound of the shower turning on, Tom rose to locate his clothes and try to clean up. He pulled his boxers back on, taking his dress shirt, pants, & jacket to be thrown into the hamper. They really should be dry-cleaned, he considered, but found that he couldn’t be bothered. As for your clothes, he wasn’t sure what exactly to do with them, so he laid your dress across a chair in the bedroom and left your bra and underwear on the floor. He was still considering whether he should pick them up or not when you came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your torso.

Once you had dressed in your undergarments again and Tom had given you an undershirt to sleep in, you started to wonder what all this meant. If it had just been a hookup, why were you staying the night? You had thought you’d feel dirty and disgusted with yourself, spending the night in someone else’s bed with someone else’s husband, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what that said about you, what it meant that you were perfectly comfortable talking into the night with Tom, both laughing and sharing stories long after you had agreed to turn the lights off and get some sleep. That almost made it worse, you thought, that it wasn’t just sex. That made it dangerous.

After you had drifted off, Tom spent a few minutes watching you sleep. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear, watching the worries of the day wash off your face while you slept. He knew it was wrong to be more comfortable in this bed with you than he was with his own wife. But that was something to deal with (or repress) in the morning. Here, now, with you wrapped in his and Shiv’s bedsheets, your form against his chest rising and falling with his breaths, he could pretend it was meant to be like this.

@swiftcession @greenwrldsz @zirrocom @lukas-matsson @ledtassoo @bluecruz97 @rita-lean @grainyimag3

#my fic #tom wambsgans #tom wambsgans x reader #succession

204 notes · View notes

angrelysimpping · 2 years

Note

hewwo! can i request the male LI's getting flashed by their S/O. like, she lifts up her skirt to show that she's not wearing underwear?

(think it's just standard DoL relationships to warn for)

Alex

It's been a long day on the farm. Alex is just about to start working on clearing out the next field when she tries to get his attention.

He doesn't mean to ignore her, really! He's just so focused that he doesn't hear her calling his name.

And then she screams

Alex's head snaps up, adrenaline shooting through him as his eyes dart over the field, looking for the source of her distress.

His eyes land on her, questioning.

She’s got a sly grin on her face, one that sets Alex on edge a little.

"What are you-"

He cuts himself off as she lifts her skirt, exposing herself.

For a moment, Alex can't look away, eyes locked on her pussy. She giggles, and Alex adverts his eyes, face going pink.

Her laughter turns into a shriek of delight as Alex tackles her to the ground.

The fight she puts up is all performative, a quick scuffle in the dirt before Alex has her pinned under him.

She lets out another breathless laugh as the farmhand fumbles with his overalls.

Avery

It's been a lovely evening.

All night Avery has caught people giving him envious glances, mouths watering as he paraded his date around.

Then comes the end of the night, arguably his favorite part.

His hand rests high on her thigh as he pulls into the hotel parking lot, giving the soft flesh a quick squeeze before telling her to head on up to the room.

It's just a fleeting moment, his name said in a low voice to catch his attention.

She's quick, so quick he could almost believe it didn't happen at all.

But it did.

In one swift motion, she pulled the hem of her dress up just enough to show off her bare cunt, the words "Avery's Monopoly" looping across her pubic region.

Even as the corners of his mouth twitch into a frown at the thought that someone might have still seen something, his cock twitches in his trousers.

She lets go of her dress, the fabric falling back into place before she saunters off.

Avery's eyes flicker over the area, making sure no one else witnessed what he just saw.

It's at that moment that he realizes exactly how calculating she is. There are no cameras pointed at this spot, no windows where any peeping toms could lurk. No one else. Not a single soul.

She'd planned this. Made sure he was the only one who saw.

Avery parks in record time.

Eden

The thunk of an ax splitting wood is such a common sound in the clearing that Eden really should be able to ignore it.

But he doesn't.

Not today.

Not after another lonely night.

He lets himself get caught up in the chopping. In the hefty swing down. In the creek of the wood parting for the ax. In the feel of the handle in his hands and the sun warming his skin.

It's a moment of sudden awareness that Eden feels how his shirt is soaked through with sweat; damp fabric clinging to his body. His mood only sours further as he yanks the fabric away from his chest, only for it to settle back. He grumbles, yanking the shirt up and over his head, letting it land on the ground without a second thought.

The moment lasts long enough that Eden becomes aware of the eyes on him.

His head snaps up, scanning the clearing.

And there she is, his wife, standing right where the forest encroached on the clearing.

He's about to call out to her, becon her over and pin her to the ground. A proper welcome home.

But she cuts him off.

She yanks up her skirt.

Eden's not aware of how he licks his lips at the sight of her bare pussy, but he's plenty aware of how his cock swells in his pants.

Before he gets a chance to do anything, she turns on her heel, sprinting into the forest with a laugh.

Eden doesn't hesitate to tear after her.

Kylar

One of Kylar's favorite ways to pass time is to follow his darling around.

She's so pretty, so beautiful. He has to make sure no one tries to touch her, hurt her.

He can't let anything happen to her.

If that means following her around in the hot summer sun and during the harsh winter nights, he'll do it. He loves her, after all. A little sunburn or some numb fingers are a small price to pay, he thinks.

He just doesn't want her to know, doesn't want her worrying about his own health.

She wouldn't find it strange or weird, he doesn't think. Not when they're in love. This is what people who are in love do, right? Protect each other?

That's why he's following her as she makes her way home late tonight.

Maybe he could get a scrap of her skirt? Something to hold onto, to remember this lovely night?

Or, maybe not. She's already at the orphanage door.

She turns, and Kylar ducks into an alley. She didn't see him, right?

She's scanning the area when Kylar peeks out. His stomach does a flip as she seems to notice the small movement, eyes locking onto him.

Before he can pull back, she grins, quickly yanking her skirt up.

It takes Kylar a moment to process what's happening, that she's flashing him, that his darling's naked pussy is on display in the middle of the street.

As suddenly as it starts, it stops. She turns and scurries inside the orphanage.

Kylar stays rooted to the spot, stunned.

He's not sure how long he stands like that, peeking out of the alley, eyes wide, and fingers digging into the brick wall.

A sharp pain, a sliver of brick biting into a fingertip, and he comes back to himself.

Kylar slinks behind the orphanage, cock pressed awkwardly against his pants as he moves, intent on checking the security of her bedroom window.

Robin

Robin mutters under his breath as the screen flashes bright red and his character dies. He's usually great at this game, but not today.

He can't focus.

All day his girlfriend has been teasing him. Kisses between classes and wandering hands during lunch.

He'd waited for her after school, had wanted to walk with her back to the orphanage, maybe invite her into his room.

Maybe rest with his head between her leg, maybe kiss her all over and make her squeal, maybe make her laugh and moan and cum on his tongue and-

The screen flashes red as his character dies.

Robin sets the controller down with a sigh.

It's useless, he can't focus on anything. He should just go to bed early or something.

He's about to stand when his door flies open and there she is, his missing girlfriend.

Before Robin can say anything, she yanks her skirt up, giving him a fleeting view of her pussy before she runs off with a giggle.

Robin is only stunned for a moment before he's scrambling after her.

Sydney

Sweat drips off the tip of Sydney's nose as he finishes off some of the last weeds encroaching on the temple garden.

It's been a long, long day.

The worst part is, his beloved couldn't come to the temple with him this afternoon! She was working on a project for school and had to go collect mushrooms in the forest.

Understandable, he guesses. Still, he wishes she was here, talking with him, keeping him company. Wishes he could see the way her shirt would cling to her back and chest while working, arms flexing while pulling weeds, sweat running down her neck, the way her lips would look pressed to a cool glass of water, and-

He should talk to Jordan. All these thoughts clouding his brain, there must be a solution. Something. Anything.

A way to get his chastity belt off, a way to see her, have her, worship her.

The snap of a stick in the forest bordering the temple garden breaks Sydney from his thoughts.

It takes Sydney a moment to process what he’s seeing, his beloved girlfriend standing at the edge of the forest.

Her eyes flit around the garden and Sydney is right about to ask her what's wrong when she does it.

When she pulls her skirt up.

Sydney swallows thickly at the sight of her.

She’s gone before he can collect himself; before he can go to her and drop to his knees in front of her.

Sydney stays in the garden, willing his erection away, before going back into the temple.

There’s got to be a way to get his charity belt off.

Whitney

Whitney leans back against a row of lockers, lounging as he watches students mill around in the crowded hall.

Classes will start soon, but he doesn't care about that. Whitney's barely listening to his friend's chatter as he scans the halls.

His slut has yet to show.

Bitch.

She better show up soon.

He might start thinking she was avoiding him if she didn't.

And he'd make her pay if that was the case.

Ah, there she is.

She’s on the far end of the hall, but Whitney would recognize his slut anywhere.

The hall is too crowded for him to bother pushing his way, through.

So, he settles for watching her.

And there’s plenty for Whitney to look at.

The curve of her neck, the swell of her chest, the expanse of skin between her school socks and skirt.

She shivers, glancing around the hall as if she can feel his eyes on her.

When their eyes lock, she gives Whitney a sly grin.

Whitney frowns, unsure what such an expression from his slut might mean.

Until she pulls her skirt up.

A cheer goes up from Whitney's friends, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

She’s following his “no underwear” rule.

Whitney kicks off from the lockers, but she’s already gone, the echo of a laugh reaching him.

She better be in maths.

#degrees of lewdity #alex the farmhand #avery the businessperson #eden the hunter #kylar the loner #robin the orphan #sydney the fallen #sydney the faithful #whitney the bully

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destinyc1020 · 9 months

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tom unfollowed darnell AND deja?? damn what they do to him loll not them getting caught in the crossfire 😂💀

Yea girl lol 😆

I documented some of the stuff that happened during their breakup here:

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crashdevlin · 10 months

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Losses and Gains 5- Messages

Author’s Note: This is the fifth chapter of Losses and Gains, the second part of To Have it All. This is Something More...from Jensen's side!

Summary: Songs can convey messages...and sometimes they convey the exact one Jensen wants conveyed.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader, background Reader x Tom Hiddleston

Word count: 3191

Story Warnings: open marriage, mentions of depression and heartbreak, bad things, alcohol as a crutch, anger, fighting, mentions of divorce

~~~

Drunk on set is not a good look for anybody, but sobbing on set isn't a good look either, and I knew I had to numb the pain in my heart to get through a workday. Having seen Y/n with Tom on the Late Show and in several red carpet interviews where he didn't let his hand stray from her lower back, it proved that Y/n and Tom were going to last. They were stuck on each other, and I lost her.

I got bitter with Danneel again pretty quickly. As soon as she mentioned my drinking, I stopped holding it back.

"So, what, you're gonna take away my liquor like you took away Y/n? I'm not allowed to have anything I want?"

Dee scoffed loudly. "I didn't take Y/n away from you! She chose to leave you to find happ-"

"She left because you were a bitch, and you made her feel cheap and used when I made her feel appreciated and loved, and now she's with a guy that holds her hand and touches her possessively on red carpets, and you drove her there because you got jealous of her when it wasn't-"

"You fell in love, and she was ruining everything! I was within my rights to put her in her place and-"

"I never should have let you meet! You ruined everything. I ruined everything. She did nothing, but you ran her off, and that's not okay!"

"No, she was a complete angel who did nothing but steal you from your wife."

"She didn't steal me! You gave me away! You encouraged me to be with-"

"I gave you what you wanted! And, ya know what, I'll give you what you want now, too," she said before hanging up on me. I was too hammered to be worried about what that might mean.

Gino messaged me a couple of days later. What did you do? Why is D talking to a lawyer?

Shit.

There was no positive thinking my way out of this. Danneel was going to divorce me. Y/n was happy with Tom. I had fucked myself out of everything good in my life. So I doubled down on my drinking.

Jared must've gotten worried when I stopped answering the phone. I mean, it died, I didn't charge it, so there was no way to answer his calls or texts. I was busy with my scotch anyway. He came by the condo, used the spare key I gave him before Y/n even moved in, and picked me up off the floor in my bathroom. How I ended up there is a mystery for Glenlivet and me.

"Jesus, Ackles. What have you done to yourself?"

"Doesn'even madder, man. Nuffin madders."

Jared sighed, a sad understanding in his eyes as he set me on the edge of the tub and kneeled in front of me. "What happened?"

"Danneel’s done. Y/n's done. I'm done. Nothin' madders."

"What, the show doesn't matter? The fans don’t matter? I don't matter?"

"I didn't say-" I started to argue as his phone beeped with a message. He grabbed me a glass of water and handed it to me.

"You've fucked everything up, but that doesn't mean you get to fuck my stuff up. You're gonna sober the hell up and get dressed, and we're gonna go to work, Jensen, because when you're down this low, you have to find something to fight for. It's not Dee or Y/n, so let it be me. Let it be your kids. Let it be your goddamn dog if you need. But you're gonna find something…" His words trailed off as he pulled out his phone. "...to fight for. Gimme a second. Drink that," he said, pointing at the water as he dialed a number and walked a few feet away.

I strained to hear him, curious about what could steal his attention from me at that moment. "You okay?” he asked quietly. “What’s wrong? What’s the problem?”

“Whossat?” I asked, cringing a bit at how slurred the words were.

“Doesn’t matter, dude. Drink your water.” Jared snapped, looking over his shoulder at me as I tried to stand. He turned his attention back to the phone, and his tone softened a little. “You better not hang up on me. I have time and energy enough for both of you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He doesn't talk to a lot of people like that. Firm, supportive, brotherly. I knew it was her. I needed another drink, and water wasn't going to do the trick. “Okay. I understand that. Where are you right now?” he asked. I imagined she responded that she was in London or somewhere far away with Tom. Far away from me, from Jared, from anyone...and she seemed to be having trouble too. But not me-trouble...her-trouble, brain-trouble. I used to be the one who'd help her.

“Did you talk to him?” Jared asked as I picked up the bottle from where it rolled under the sink. He pulled the phone away from his ear when he noticed me. “Damn it, Jensen, put down the scotch.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Padalecki. I’m fine.” It was a lie, but who cares?

“We have to be on set in three hours, and you need to sober the fuck up.” That was the truth, though. Unfortunately. Jared turned his attention back to her, and I set the bottle on the bathroom vanity. “Sorry about that. Have you talked to him?” He nodded as I ran warm water and splashed my face. “Okay. How have you been sleeping?”

He listened to her answer, nodding. “You're not drinking, are you?” Jared cleared his throat, seeming purposely to avoid looking at me. “Not anything? When’s the last time you hit the gym? You know that can help a lot.”

He nodded as I took a drink of my water. I contemplated a sandwich or a bagel as he adjusted the phone. "Look, I know that hotel has an on-site gym. Get some sweats on and go jump on an elliptical.”

By the way he smiled, I knew that she’d agreed. He was good at making people take care of themselves. I looked down at the water in my hand and took a drink.

“You know that you can call me anytime you need me.” She said something that made him look over at me. “Yeah. Hey, are you going to be making it to Toronto?”

I scoffed and stood. “She’s not gonna be there when we’re there, Padalecki. You’re not gonna get to see her. Nobody gets time with her except Loki.”

Jared gave me a look between tired and sad and kept looking at me as I leaned against the sink and took another drink of water. “Is there any possibility that I can convince you to stick around and have lunch with me on Sunday?” I was eager to know what she’d say, so I leaned a bit toward him. I couldn’t hear the words, but I knew she responded that she’d have to ask Tom. “Well, come on…he doesn’t own you, Y/n. If you want to see me on a Sunday, you should be able just to do that.” Jared sounded just as irritated with that answer as I was. He sighed and adjusted his beanie. “Okay. Feel better. Text me when you know if you can make it to lunch. Bye.”

I cleared my throat and left the bathroom, heading for the kitchen to get myself something to soak up the whiskey. “Trouble in paradise?” I asked, pulling open the fridge as Jared followed me.

“It’s none of your business. You need to focus on your own trouble.”

“Right. Which trouble is that gonna be?” I grabbed a takeout container from the diner I ordered from three days before and tossed it in the microwave without looking at the food. “The fact that Danneel is gonna divorce me? The fact that I can’t go a day without crying lately? The fact that I’m ruining your life too, just by being attached to you? Which trouble should I focus on?”

“Danneel is gonna divorce you because you couldn’t get your head out of your ass.”

I shrugged. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

His eyebrows went up. “It doesn’t matter? It doesn’t matter that your wife is going to divorce you?”

I shook my head. “Nah. I’m too tired for this shit.”

“You’re too tired? To fight for your marriage?”

“I’m too tired to fight for any-fucking-thing.” The microwave beeped as it reached 0, and I pulled out the pancake breakfast. “I’m just physically and emotionally exhausted, Jared.”

He scoffed and scratched his eyebrow. “This is the stupidest shit you’ve ever said, man. You need to fix this.”

I nodded and flipped open the takeout container. “Yeah. Would’ve been easier before all this shit.”

“Yeah, probably, but you gotta think of your kids and your future. Y/n isn’t part of that anymore. Dee…well, she might not be either, but you gotta make things easier. Do me a favor, Ackles…if you have to drink, do it on the off days…and less hard liquor. You might be Dean Winchester, but you don’t have his plot armor liver, right?”

I scoffed and nodded. “Yeah, okay. Beer, it is.”

“Thank you,” he said, and then he hugged me. Jared’s got magic hugs…and I almost felt better for a few minutes.

Just for a few.

~~~

<<Are you singing for Toronto?

I stared down at my phone for a while. It was a perfectly normal question that Steve Norton asked before every convention. Am I singing for the Saturday Night Special? Used to fill me with apprehension, then with giddiness, now though…sadness. I used to get up and listen to Y/n. I used to sing with her. We used to have the time of our lives backstage and then head to my damn hotel to make love. What was I supposed to do?

But Y/n was going to be there. She always was. She loves singing…and I could at least listen to her and get lost in some memories of the better times…and maybe I could get a message across in the meantime. Maybe I could use Saturday Night Special to get her to understand how much pain I was really feeling…in a gentle way. In a way that wouldn’t hurt her. In a way that said I was hurting, but I was gonna be okay. Maybe.

>>Yeah. I’ll sing one.

I kept tabs on her through Twitter and stuff for Friday. She seemed good. She seemed happy. She always seemed happy. I had to wonder how much of that was bullshit, though, because she had just been on the phone to Jared less than two weeks ago. She was just having troubles bad enough to call on the moose. But she did the karaoke, and she took pictures in the green room, and she smiled and laughed with the fans at her panel. She seemed put together.

I wasn’t even close, but I put some concealer on under my eyes and gel in my hair. I put on a leather jacket, and I went to SNS. I made a point to stay by the door so I could see her when she arrived, but Jason pulled me away to talk about something completely insignificant that completely distracted me, and I barely noticed when she walked in. Rob walked up to confirm what I was singing, and I acted like I had hardly thought about it.

“I dunno. I’m not really feelin’ upbeat music. Want somethin’ powerful, painful. So, no ‘Whipping Post’ or anything Eagles or whatnot. I’m thinking…Johnny Cash’s cover of ‘Hurt’.”

Rob nodded. “Sure. We can pull the acoustic out. I think that’ll sound awesome. You, uh, you doin’ okay, though?”

I smiled as bright as I could. “I’m great, Rob. It’s gonna be an amazing show.”

Rob smiled back and turned to look at Y/n, and I couldn’t ignore her anymore. She was standing just ten feet away, and she had to have been listening to us. “Y/n, are you gonna do ‘Gunpowder and Lead’?” he asked.

“No. I-I told Stephen a week ago that I was doing ‘Dead Flowers,” she squeaked. She was stumbling over her words and singing a depressing song. She was all out of sorts. For some reason, seeing it up close made me feel a bit better. She wasn’t happy…and that meant I didn’t have to work to maintain her happiness. I didn’t have to let her be happy with Tom because she wasn’t fucking happy.

I looked away, angry with myself for even thinking that shit. It’d be petty to rub it in her face. It’d be shitty.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry. I forgot. It’s on the setlist and everything. Shit.”

“It’s cool. There’s a reason there’s a setlist,” Y/n said with an awkward smile. Rob just nodded and walked away, leaving Y/n and me just standing there. “Well, this is gonna be a depressing set. Swain should cover it with ‘Mama’s Jam’ or something.” Her trying to break the tension made me wanna have a big ol’ glass of Jack, so I walked away toward the plastic folding table they set up a makeshift wet bar on. I had just gotten there and was about to pick up a Solo cup when I heard, “Don’t drink.” I could almost feel her forcing herself to say the words; the way she spoke was so apprehensive and sad. I set my hands flat on the table, forcing myself to stay turned in the opposite direction, facing away from her where I couldn’t see her face, and she couldn’t see mine. “It’s not helping you.”

“That’s not any of your fucking business now, is it?” I spat out in a kneejerk reaction. But it gave me a chance to remember that I’d told Jared I would lay off the whiskey. I grabbed a beer from the cooler next to the table and walked away to let the others distract me.

The night went by pretty easily, but then Y/n got up on stage. ‘Dead Flowers’. “I feel like the flowers in this vase…They’re sittin’ in a vase, but now they’re dead. Dead flowers.” Shit. I felt that in my soul. The worst part was that I could tell that she felt it in her soul, too. She wasn’t happy. She missed me. She felt like dead flowers, so why wasn’t she coming back?!

Was it too complicated now? Was she still scared that Dee was leaving because fuck, that was already pretty much a done deal? Was she afraid of the backlash if she left him? Was he just…better even if he made her sad?

Her voice started wavering in the second verse, but that’s when the band came in hard, so they covered her for the audience…but not for me. Not for Kim or Bri. Everyone could tell that she had wrapped herself up in her emotions, and it was hitting her. As soon as she got down from the stage, Kim and Briana ran over to be with her. They took no time holding her and whispering to her. It made things a little better for me because I couldn’t comfort her, not that I was in a comforting mindset in the first place, but they could. She still had other members of the Family that would lift her, even when Jared wasn’t around. That was good…and it meant that there would be support for her when I got up there and sent my message.

Looking out at the audience as Rob grabbed his acoustic and stepped to the side, I saw a sea of people who just adored everything about me. Of course, none of them knew the mess I was underneath the mask, under the smile and the makeup and the leather jacket. Fuck, some of them would have adored me more if they knew I was falling apart. They would have loved the emotional honesty of the thing…and maybe that’s why so many of them went star-eyed when I started in on those painful lyrics. “I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real.”

I put every ounce of my emotion into those words. Every drop of misery and heartache into “And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.” because I wanted her to feel it. I wanted her to know. I wasn’t drinking to put some guilt trip on her. I wasn’t drinking to help me. I was drinking because I had to…because it was the only way.

I waved at the fans, gave a slight bow to them to show my thanks, and then I slowly descended the stage area. Y/n was frantically wiping at her eyes. Her cheeks were wet, and she had obviously been bawling by the puffiness and redness in the whites of her eyes. She got the message. She felt it. Good.

~~~

“So, you got the chance to see her tonight, right?” Jared barely greeted me on the phone call before he jumped into the hard stuff. “Are you okay?”

“She’s not okay. Jared, she’s not happy.”

I could hear him sigh. “She said she’s-”

“She’s lying!” I insisted.

“How do you know?”

“Because I know her!” I rubbed my eye and licked my lips, feeling guilty about snapping at him. “I know her, and she isn’t okay. She’s singing about dead flowers and crying…and she called you a few days ago so I know you know she’s not-”

“She was having a bad day. She’s allowed.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, she wasn’t having a bad day. She’s having a bad life, but she knows she made her choice. She’s not happy. She’s not-”

“What do you expect to do about it? Like you said, she made her choice. Did she give any indication that she regretted making that choice?”

I shook my head and sat on the edge of my hotel bed. “No. But…come on, Jared. You know this doesn’t sit right. You know she’s not happy.”

“I know that she’s had a few low moments, but that doesn’t mean she’s not happy. I have low moments, too.”

“It’s not the same.”

“How exactly is it different?”

“I…I don’t know, but it’s different. This isn’t…Jared, just…when you see her tomorrow, fix it. Make her tell you what’s actually wrong.”

“I’m not going to make her do anything. But I’ll figure out if she’s okay and do what I can to help her. That’s the best I can promise.”

“Guess that’ll have to do.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Right.” I hung up and flopped backward on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few moments before I let my eyes close.

#cassie writes stuff #spn rpf #jensen x reader #angst #divorce #tom hiddleston x reader

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atwas-gaming · 3 months

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I've been thinking about this for quite a while and worried about saying this and coming across like some crazy UTDR fan (which I will readily admit to be guilty of, anyway, lol), but the OST's for both Undertale and Axiom Verge have some similar leitmotifs.

First off, I AM NOT SUGGESTING ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWO SOUNDTRACKS, MUCH LESS THE TWO GAMES. To my knowledge, Tom Happ and Toby Fox may never have even met. They may not have even played each other's games. I'm 99% certain they had no influence on each other.

But I do have a conclusion that I will get to at the end (and yes, a lot of you will probably think it's crazy), so please keep reading.

youtube

Undertale fans will probably notice a familiar 3-note arpeggio in Apocalypse. It's the one we call "Gaster's Theme." It's not exactly the same, but it's similar enough to make a UT fan rewind and re-listen.

This 3-note arpeggio appears in other tracks in both AV games, it's just most noticeable in Apocalypse.

The other one I noticed is a little easier to miss. It's at the very end of Inexorable:

youtube

Listen closely and you can hear the intro to Another Medium. Listen even more closely, and you realize that this leitmotif is just The Axiom, slightly rearranged.

But what's interesting is, there's no connection between Axiom Verge and Undertale! At least, none that I can imagine (and I have quite the imagination). Axiom Verge was released on March 31, 2015; Undertale was released on September 15, 2015- the same year, but almost 9 months apart. Since AV came out first, there's no way Tom Happ was borrowing ideas from Toby Fox, unless the 2 men actually have met IRL- I don't know, but I kinda doubt it, as Toby was nothing but a ROM-hacking, clickbait-posting, Homestuck composer working on Undertale at the time of AV's release. And I highly doubt Toby was stealing anything from Axiom Verge- Toby's a highly prolific musical composer in his own right, and while he's not above taking inspiration from others, he's always been open about where he got his ideas. So far, none of my research is indicating that he took inspiration from Tom Happ. And we know how Toby feels about giving credit where it's due:

So, if there's no connection between the two, and no known crossover of ideas, what point am I trying to make?

That this is evidence of God's presence in the creative community. Disbelieve that if you want, but that's the hill I'm standing on. God is everywhere, and He doesn't just favor the "good little Christians" with wisdom. He gives ideas to everyone. And it seems to me that, in 2015 and the years leading up to it, He decided to give 2 different men the same 2 prominent leitmotifs for their games.

And if that's not enough, let me also remind you that both games have a similar core theme of being stranded in some alternate universe (which may or may not be just a dream, in both AV and UTDR); AND both Tom Happ and Toby Fox have made statements that suggest the possibility of divine inspiration. Tom Happ's statement can be found here; and while I can't find the post anymore, I do remember Toby saying at one point that he has been surprised by the number of connections that fans have found in Undertale that even he himself didn't notice.

If this isn't God's hand at work, then I don't know what to call it, because it's just plain awesome.

#axiom verge #undertale #tom happ #toby fox #God's will #divine inspiration #call it crazy if you want but this is what i believe #God. is. EVERYwhere.#play both games yourself #listen to both soundtracks yourself #read and listen to interviews with the creators yourself #you can't tell me you don't see any similarities at all #i'm convinced that God is in this #in both of these

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daddy-suguru · 2 years

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𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥’𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐞

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ▸ Suguru lives out some of his darkest dreams with you. His newly claimed bride and favorite devoted follower.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ▸ 6.6k

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ▸ dark nsfw, cult leader! savoir! dom! possessive! obsessed!suguru, devote cult member! service sub!reader, title use of sir, knife play - blood play, huge praise kink, ‘worship’, fingering, squirting, suguru shows off his strength, oral, breeding - you're on the pill, corruption kink, suguru has to teach you, throat fucking, dacryphilia, age gap - Suguru is in his mid 30s while reader is early 20s, size kink, fucking in a church, suguru gets you to beg, hints to mirror sex and hints at pussy eating, dirty talk

Suguru asks you, "Is my word not the word of god himself?" And he can see the internal struggle on your face. As you fight with the previous teachings of purity that he knows has kept you a good little virgin well into your twenty. Since, like him, you grew up in this church.

You keep your answer short, "Yes sir."

Over the years Suguru had worked himself into the head position of the head of the church. And you have supported him along the way, helping him organize events and giving him words of encouragement. While never prying into his more secret plans for the church.

Suguru tells you with a soft grin, "Don't worry, you will be my wife as well. So we are simple enjoying ourselves before we will marry in front of the whole church within a month. It's already set. The lord believes I've served him well, so he is merely giving me my reward, you. Who else should be my wife other than you, after all?"

Looking him in his dark warm eyes, knowing that he wants you to strip before him and the cross and bend over for him. You whisper, "I don't even know anything about...lovemaking..." Just the way you struggle to say the word is adorable. "But I would happily be your wife. It's just I wasn't expecting you to choose me. Shouldn't you want an older woman to suit you better?"

Suguru assures you, "You're not supposed to doubt yourself, which is to doubt my choice. When the lord told me to find the best women to stand by my side and help me lead this church to see the light of God and his glory, you were the first women that came to mind. Always so eager to help me, also so willing to seek my advice when you're struggling." He leans down and presses his lips to your neck.

You softly gasp, as you softly grab onto his dark sweater. Suguru didn't have to tell you, you weren't his first women. He could let you believe in that lie, since you would be his favorite and this last. He couldn't risk you finding out about him having some stupid affair and losing you.

The only reason that he had lied and was so pushy tonight is that a member of Suguru's church, Tom, had come to him for help on how to date you. So Suguru is going to make it very clear to everyone that you're his.

Suguru softly kisses your neck and you whine in disappointment. "You were always very obvious that you liked me as well. This is why we are going to become one tonight under the eyes of god. You want to be with me, don't you?"

You whimper, "Please, sir." Your body warms up, with most of the heat pooling between your legs. Something that Suguru often caused within you. But it had never been this intense before.

Suguru sounds too happy to tell you in a low, deep voice, "I always loved hearing you call me that. I've wondered for so long why hearing you say that made my cock throb, but now I know it's because God made us for each other." At hearing him say cock, you blurt,

"Sir!" And Suguru chuckles as he pulls out a knife holding to your throat. And you don't even question why he has one as you look back into his dark eyes.

You were waiting for him. The very thought of you giving him your virginity has been something Suguru thought about over the past year. And here you are at long last. He didn't want to wait much longer to hear you crying that he was too big to be inside your bleeding pussy.

Suguru tells you, "I'm holding a knife to your throat and the look in your eyes has only gotten hungrier. Put your hands on the altar, with your cute butt in the air, for your future husband and father to your kids." He wondered how long it would take before you became cock hungry for him. Since he wouldn't stop fucking his cock into you until your pussy got used to his cock and enjoy his fat head hitting your sweet spot.

You walk up to the altar that you’ve seen Suguru preach at every Sunday morning and Wednesday night for the past several years. Since you would never miss a service, something he made a note of.

Bending over and placing your hands on the altar, you ask, “What if someone catches us?” The way your voice shakes and the soft trembles of your body is making Suguru's cock throb. As his cheeks flush with heat and he wonders how he is so worked up at the sight of bent over in front of his altar. Where he has placed the bread from your savior on your tongue, and let his fingers linger as you close your mouth. While he lets the thought of your lips wrapped around him, his cock slips through his brain before he shoves them back.

“The sight of my future wife will bless them and be the last thing they see before I blind them for their transgressions against what is mine. Since you won’t be quiet for me tonight, anyone who passes will know. If they follow the sound of your whimpering and screaming voice, they only have their curiosity to blame.” And you shiver as Suguru's fingers trail along your thighs as he slides up the fabric of your skirt.

Suguru lets out a low, slow whistle, before he says, “Babydoll, are you always soaking your panties around me, or are you more excited now that I have this?” You rub your thighs together and Suguru presses the flat of the blade on your clothed pussy and you become still. As you confess,

"I'm sorry sir, I've thought about going to the doctor's to see what's wrong. But it's embarrassing to admit something is wrong with me down there. Since I make a mess whenever I see you, I can't help it. Please help me, Sir." Suguru moves the knife to your cheeks as he turns the blade on your skin but doesn't cut you.

He gives you the kindness of getting used to the feeling of his knife. Since you know nothing about sex, he could make you his perfect submissive. And tonight after tonight, he could have any way you want. You didn't even question his proclamation of violence towards another for seeing you naked. Just as expected, you are so devoted to you would do anything to please him.

"Your pussy is supposed to react this way to me. This is just further proof that God created you himself to be a gift to his chosen one, correct babydoll?" He presses his clothed bulge against your covered-up pussy. As he drags the tip of the knife up the waistband of your panties. Which he slips the knife under as he cuts the fabric quickly, making you gasp in shock,

"Sir!" Your cheeks are burning at the idea of the first man staring at your pussy. You try to calm yourself by telling yourself and Suguru,

"My body is yours," Suguru pulls away and cuts the other side of your panties. Before he takes off the fabric and lefts it to his nose to smell your sweet pussy as he watches your pussy clench around nothing. As you say,

"As it is God's will that you enjoy his chosen one, enjoy his gift however you want to. I will do my best to behave for you every night and be a lovely wife you are proud of." Your submission and willingness to be his breedable trophy wife is like a drug, giving Suguru a tingling high as he decides that his own pants and underwear are too uncomfortable around his cock. He tells you,

"Take my cock out. I want to see the face you make when you see me. Don't disappoint me now." He wants to cut your cheeks, but he also wants to ease you into this, to draw out the corruption of someone so pure that had the misfortune of falling into his sight. Since another would make love to you in a gentler way than he would.

Suguru couldn't say that he doesn't love you, which is why he took such quick and drastic action to make you only his. His love was more intense, craving something from you that required you to endure pain mixed in with intense, overwhelming pleasure. Something that you would come to learn since he would make you worship him and then reward you for your sacrifices of taking everything he gives you.

Turning around and getting on your knees the way you have in front of him many times. Only before you had your hands clasped together in prayer for guidance through your problems. He would always place his hand on top of your head. Sometimes you would come and kneel for the sake of having the comfort of his hand on top of your hand.

Now as you kneel, Suguru doesn't touch you as he waits for you to be the one to touch him. His smile widens as he sees your hands shake as you reach for the button of his suit pants. You look up from his button as you slip it out and grab onto his zipper, dragging it down as you bite into your bottom lip. You look so beautiful on your knees, looking so unsure yet excited with his cock so close to your face.

Letting your bottom lip go so you can tell him, "Punish me as you see fit if I disappoint you, Sir." You want him to see how serious you are about pleasing him as you pull his zipper down. And Suguru tries to see if you have a praise kink by saying,

"I adore how you submit yourself to me." You pull his pants and underwear down and Suguru groans at the relief his cock gets as it springs free. Your eyes go wide, as you take in the curve of his cock, and the veins that run from his pink head down to his dark trimmed hairs. Suguru finishes by saying,

"Sweet devotion deserves a reward don't you think." You look up at Suguru and his cock twitches at the sweet sight of you kneeling in front of him while looking up at him. With your snug yet modest sweater hugging your body. And your skirt is pooling around you. He had dreamt of ruining you in this outfit many times since you've worn this combo to service. Which is why he complimented you in hopes you would wear more skirts and snug sweaters, softly ask,

"Can I show my devotion a bit more Sir? I want to show you my gratitude for everything that you have done for me." Your eyes flick down to his cock that is so close to your face. He has been there for you throughout the past few years of your life more than ever, with helpful advice and even giving you a hand in moving to a place close to the church just down the road. So you could be on call should he need help with anything.

A house that Suguru is thinking of moving into, so the two of you could have a private place away from church for extra worship. Suguru presses the tip of the knife to your cheek, slowly dragging it down to your jaw as he says,

"You may, by opening your mouth for me." You open your mouth and stick your tongue out. As Suguru grabs your cock and he places his warm, thick cock head on your tongue. The pre-cum that had trickled down his head rubs onto your tongue. He tells you,

"Close your mouth and keep your tongue stuck out. And I want you to keep your eyes on me." You look up from the dark patch of hair into his dark narrow eyes. Your cheek is burning along with your pussy. Which is dripping onto the floor and you worry about the mess you're creating.

A thought that is forgotten when Suguru slowly pushes his hips forward the moment you close your lips around his head. Your lipstick smears on his cock when pulls back after a shallow thrust into your mouth. So you can get an idea of what Suguru is about to do to your mouth. Suguru asks,

"That isn't so bad, is it? You can be a good girl. And it there and let me get myself off with your sweet mouth that so often follows me in prayer." Even though you can't answer, as he pushes his cock past your lips, he goes deep into your throat. And even though you've been trying to relax your throat, you still gag around him. The way your throat squeezes him while showing him a thick bulge, Suguru lets out a groan. That echo in the large congregation room.

Trying to keep the tears from running down your face, you rapidly blink three times. Before you furrow your brows as a fat tear rolls down your cheek. As Suguru keeps his cock buried in your throat. He says,

"I'm going to be the only one who knows how you look with your mouth stuff full of cock while your beautiful eyes well up with pretty tears. You can cry for me. I want to see your makeup running down your pretty face." He pulls his cock out and you take in a quick breath from your nose. As a few tears trickle down your cheeks. He softly coos,

"There we go. You look so pretty." He folds up his knife, and he undoes the top few buttons of his white button-up. Suguru stops about halfway through, leaving his loose shirt hanging off his frame. While giving, letting you see for the first time his thick, male tits.

Suguru smirks as he sees the way you stare at his now exposed chest. He says, "Such a pretty, warm, and wet mouth for me to make love to. You want that don't you to find out how your savior makes love to love to his favorite devoted little lamb." You accidentally groan and the vibrations go up Suguru's cock, pooling in his heavy balls. This gives him the idea to tell you,

"Hold my balls and softly massage them with one of your hands." Suguru forgives you for looking away to ogle his chest since you look back up into his eyes a second later. As your tears fill with mores tears when Suguru thrusts himself balls deep into your mouth, your nose pressing into the short dark hair of his pubes.

You lift your hand to fondle him. Suguru is warm, soft, and heavy in your hand. You softly roll the palm of your hand while watching Suguru's reactions. And taking his heavy groans that make your pussy ache as a sign he is enjoying himself.

Only this time, he pauses there, as he unbuttons the rest of his shirt. "I'm going to leave my cock deep in your throat, be a good girl and hold it for me while your massage my balls." You gag around him before you can relax your throat. And he groans,

"Fuck take me just like that, my sweet darling. Keep playing with your husband's fat balls. You are such a good little wifey." Suguru has to forgive you again for looking down when he slips his shirt off. Since he loves the star-struck look as the fabric slips off his broad shoulders, built by his years of working out to ensure he stayed in great physical shape. The importance of taking care of oneself is a part of his teachings.

It is something that so many lost souls who lack self-esteem like yourself flock to. Hoping to possess the confidence and success that Suguru himself has. He plans to build you up and worship you as long as you behave for him.

Suguru pulls his cock back after he peels his shirt off his thick arms. Which flex as he does. And you decide quickly that you adore the way you can see the hard muscles moving under his skin as he moves. But you can't let yourself watch as you look back into his eyes, wanting to hear his praise.

Suguru reminds you by saying, "There will be plenty of time to stare at the rest of me while we are married. But for now, I need to see you crying as I fuck my cock into your mouth." His words are dirty, unlike anything you've heard before. But you don't want him to stop, you want to hear him praise you in every filthy way. And to hear him talk about what he is doing to you in his smooth and soothing voice.

Thrusting his cock into the back of your throat as your hand stills and you are just cupping his balls as he sets a steady pace. And you can't help but whimper as his cock rubs against your tongue, the softness of his skin, the taste of his pre-cum when his head is in your mouth.

Along with the ache of his thickness stretching your throat, and the heavy groans, his chest rising and falling with shaky breaths. As his cheeks turn pink and he runs his hand through his hair.

Your wet thigh mouth makes him forget his air is in a man ban. Which is now hanging messily. So he slips the band out of your air, a simple action that looks so good when he does it. All of it is making your body burn and your pussy wetter. Suguru groans,

"I love fucking your little throat so much. You are taking me so well, gagging around me and squeezing me with your throat." The way his hair is slipping past his shoulders, framing his handsome face makes you even more certain you are at the feet of God's savior worshiping. Since Suguru appears to be an angel in your blurry vision.

Suguru slips his cock out of your mouth and says, "Tell me how you are feeling." You stay on your knees looking up, blinking away tears and trying to catch your breath.

"My pussy is dripping on the floor, and I'm so warm and I'm getting frustrated. Not at you, sir, but at how I'm feeling. It's too much." Suguru wants to fuck your throat some more, but he knows you have a few years of spent of sexual frustration that is catching up with you while you kneel before him. So Suguru tells you,

"Go sit in your normal spot, that you pick up from watching me so closely with those pretty eyes of yours." There are so many times that Suguru wanted to ruin you where you sat with your thighs pressed together and your eyes glued to him.

Your attention is addictive as if he is the only one that matters to you at that moment. The look of utter adoration and devotion for him. Therefore, a part of him hates that you have to look away from him to go sit down in the front pew.

To where he follows you, Suguru is standing in front of you when suddenly his face lights up and he says, "Put your sweater underneath yourself so your blood doesn't stain it." There is no horror on your face, no question about why you are going to be bleeding, only obedience. Which is rewarded with a soft kiss on your forehead before he gets on his knees in front of you.

You breathe, "Sir, I'm so happy that you chose me for this." Your heart is pounding as he cups your cheek with one large hand. You lean your head against his palm as he rubs his thumb from side to side. He tells you,

"I know you are my darling. I'm excited to be the first and only one to touch you down here. " You hear his knife flick open and feel the cool flat blade press against the inside of your thigh. He moves the knife so that he is dragging the tip in towards your pussy lips. He tells you,

"I going to cut your thighs." There is a slight panic that flashes in your tearful eyes that melts as he slips one finger past your lips. You don't know how badly he wants to corrupt you, to teach you that with pain comes great pleasure. So that you crave it more.

Suguru curls his finger inside of you, slipping it out and smearing the wetness of your clit. Before he slides his finger teasingly around your pussy hole. As he presses his thumb to your clit. He watches your face as he rubs soft circles into your clit and he explains, "Because I want to see you bleed and how much you can handle from me." You nod your head before you remind him,

"If I am God's gift to you, then enjoy me in full, as you will whenever you need to. Regardless if I'm awake or not, my body is yours." He rewards your answer by slipping his finger past your lips. And the way your head falls back, as your lips part and your eyes flutter shut as you let out the pretties moan of,

"Suuuggurrunnahhn-" You can't hold back a single sound. As your tight pussy clenches around his finger, he rubs the soft gummy insides of your pussy. Your lips wrapped around his finger, wet and begging for him to taste.

So he slips his finger out and your lift your head, and open your eyes to see him sticking his wet finger into his mouth. The groan he makes while he stares you in the eyes has your pussy clenching around nothing. He slips his finger out of his mouth and says,

"Call me by my first name. I love the way you say my name when you are crying it out so sweetly." He slips his finger past your lips and the whimpers fall from your lips as he curls his finger inside of you. As he feels for that sweet spot that will have you trembling the way he craves seeing. He groans

"Such a noisy pretty baby for me, aren't you?" He moves his thumb back to your clit. And this time, he quickly drags the knife across your skin. As your moans become a whimpering cry and then you whisper,

"Thank you for cutting me." Suguru leans in to hear you better. And the way you whimper, "It hurts so much." Has his cock throbbing, but he knows he has to ignore himself for a little while longer. Since you are whining,

"Your fingers feel good." You are trying to talk the way he did to you before, so you ramble more about how you are feeling,

"It's both overwhelming, but I can handle it. Please cut me some more while you touch nghhnnn please, please please Suguru." You break down begging for him so easily as his finger grazes that spot he has been looking for. And so he slips another finger past your lips and spreads them out as you jerk your hips. And Suguru encourages you by saying,

"Finish what you were saying." He wants to hear you talk about your pussy more and how much you love how he touches her. Since just two of his fingers are making you lose your mind and become so undone so easily. He knows you are going to be utterly drunk off his cock. And that he wouldn't be able to stop until you become limp and about to pass out.

Suguru can finally understand how one can get drunk off another. Because of the way you are staring up at him with your lashes clumping together with your tears. And your mascara running down your face with your smeared lipstick.

Your kissable lips can't seem too close as you whine, moan and cry for Suguru, endlessly unable to keep quiet. As he closes his two fingers and softly rubs that spot. While he rubs your soft and puffy clit and the way you close your legs yet spread them back open after he adds another cut to your thigh. Your sweet reaction, soft wet pussy, and beautiful cries are better than Suguru dreamed of when he has his fist around his cock late at night.

You close your eyes as you say, "Please cut more some more while you play with my pussy." Suguru leans down and softly kisses underneath the two shallow cuts he has made. That has blood already beading up along the small slice.

Then Suguru adds a third cut that goes through the first two. And this time your pussy clamps down on his fingers as your hips jerk and your cry turns to a sob of, "It hurts," that becomes a moan as he quickens the pace of his fingers, "so good. It's so confusing, Suguru." Suguru folds up his knife, setting it on the floor between his legs..

He grabs your thighs and he squeezes near the cuts, his breath becoming shaky as it hitches at the sight of your blood trickling down your thighs. Since he knows it's going to smear when he takes you in a mating press. Suguru coos,

"That's good little baby, that's how it's supposed to feel. I'm worshiping your sweet body, and partaking in the sweet sacrifice of your virgin body." He had thought about what position should he first let you have his cock and the mating press is always the one he circles back to.

It is just too perfect, keeping you from running from him. While he has you spread open and he can see your pussy, face, and the way his cock is going to bulge inside of you.

Not only that, tonight would mark the night Suguru would finally let you know something that he has always known; that you have always meant to be his. And tomorrow afternoon, when that foolish man asks you out, you'll be able to tell him you are already engaged to Suguru Geto and set to wed in a month.

"Something happening you might want to-" you are gushing before you can finish. As you place your hand over your face, embarrassed by the thick creamy juices squirting from your pussy onto his fingers.

Behind your hands you mumble, "I'm sorry." Suguru reaches up with his free hand as you keep whining. As he slips a third finger into your sensitive pussy as your squirt comes to a dribble. Suguru would have to clean up the mess himself after he put you to bed, but for right now he says,

"I'm so proud my baby is a squirter." He slips his fingers out, and he grabs your thighs, smearing your slick on your skin. He presses a soft kiss to the cuts, his warm tongue tracing over one of them before he moves his head towards your pussy. You place your hands on his hair without thinking about it. As his soft bloody lips press against your wet slit.

Quickly pull your hands away, as Suguru slips his tongue past your lips before he pulls away as well. As your mind is stuck on his tongue slipping inside of you more so that the words coming out of his mouth,

"I wondered how long it would take before you touched me. Do you want to feel my soft hair, my warm skin, my large built figure as I play with your soft, squishy, smaller body?" You don't answer instead you whimper,

"You kissed my pussy." He smiles as he leans in and kisses your lips. You follow the way his lips part. And Suguru slips his tongue into your mouth.

All you can taste is your pussy and blood in Suguru's deep kiss.

You never thought your first kiss would be like this. It didn't matter. You are tangling your hand into his soft hair, trying to hold him close anyway, anyway. Even going further as you wrap your legs around his wide waist. While you slide the other hand down his chest, dragging your nails as you let out a needy whine.

Suguru can't help but groan as you finally let go of thinking and did what felt most natural to you. As your lust overcomes any nervousness, that Suguru had been enjoying.

Suguru's cock, and balls are aching from the neglect. So when he breaks the kiss he tells you, "I'm going to give you your reward for being such a good girl for me. Your reward is my cock inside your sweet pussy. You want that, right?" You sweetly nod, as you bite into your bottom lip while reassuring yourself that if he fits in your mouth, he could fit in between your legs.

Suguru cups your butt cheeks before standing up, lifting you off your seat as you make a soft sound of surprise. And then cling onto him even tighter than before. With his lips so close to your's Suguru says,

"My beautiful wife wants to be rewarded by having me make love to her pretty pussy. Say it." He had gone easy on you tonight, he could ease you in, corrupt you bit by bit. Until you begged him to do these things to you without being told to.

You press a soft kiss to his lips before you say, "I want your cock in my pussy as my reward for being a good wife to you. Please let me have your cock in my pussy." The last part comes rushing out in your need to feel the pleasure Suguru gave you once more.

Suguru reaches down to grab his cock, rubbing his tip along your slit. The soft wetness of your lips on his cock head makes him groan before he says, "Look at you becoming a woman for me tonight, and you doubted my choice. Tell me your pussy is mine and ask me to put my cock inside." He holds back on pushing you down on his cock, and slipping inch after inch into you. Until his cock head kisses the back of your pussy and he can feel the bulge of his cock inside of you pressing against his belly.

You could be in a mating press in the air. Every thrust from his hips would bounce you. All you have to do is hold on to him until he makes you both cum. Then he can take you up to his room within the church for round two.

You press soft kisses on his jawline and then you say, "She is your pussy, Suguru. Please put your cock inside your pussy. I've been so good, waiting for my reward." You are a quick learner, or maybe it's out of lustful desperation that you are begging him so well.

Suguru moves his hand on your butt cheek, up to your hip and he lets you have only his tip. You whine, "Give it all to me Suguru." And he pushes you down on his cock, your pussy.

The tightness of your pussy, even though he fucked you open with his thick fingers, is giving him some resistance. As Suguru pushes his hips up to meet yours. While he moves, he slips both of his hands underneath your thighs, getting them high on his flexed upper arms. While he holds onto your waist, Suguru stays still with his cock deep inside of you.

The way you stretch around him and clench your soft walls so tight it's almost painful for Suguru. Who has to take a moment to get used to behind inside of you. As he takes in the pretty face you making with your parted lips and your eyes rolled back. He softly coos,

"Is my cock too much for your sweet little pussy? Tell me, baby. I want to hear you say every dirty little thing to me, sweetheart. I love you so much. We have been made to love each other like this." He softly kisses away the tears he is making you cry. Before he says,

"It's why it feels so good. God created your soft pussy to squeeze my cock just like this. Isn't that right?" He slowly pulls away, but your pussy doesn't want to let him go as he feels you tug with him.

Your words are sloppy and slurring, "Riiight Suguruuuu." He can't help but smirk at your response as he moves his hands down from your side to your hips.

Both legs are burning, with your left leg burning more than the right, from getting pressed up against your side. The pain is mixing with the excitement at how effortlessly Suguru holds you in the air is making your stomach flip. While the painful pleasure of his heavy thick cock sliding along your soft gummy pussy. And you swear you can feel some of his veins when you keep your pussy clenched around him.

The swirl of emotions and sensations is making you a mess in Suguru's grasp. As he slowly fucks his cock into your pussy. And you cup his face as he wraps one of his hands loosely around your throat. The thought of him squeezing excites you for a reason that you don't care to understand as you ask,

"Squeeze?" There is the nervousness that faded away earlier bubbling back up inside of you. Which makes Suguru's smile stretch into a wild smirk as his grasp on your throat tightens and his pace quickens. And the loud smacking of his hips fills your ears as every thrust makes you bounce before you fall back down on his cock.

Suguru lowly says, "Sweet little baby, taking me so well, doing everything I've told you to do. And begging for my cock, touching me so sweetly. Baby, you've always been my favorite follower. I can't wait to have you by my side during worship and in my bed." And you can't pay attention to his words, as the feeling of his cock rubbing that sweet spot that his fingers were earlier consumes your every thought.

Suguru turns around and walks towards the altar, where he presses you against the wood. As he uses the wood against your back to make his thrusts harder. Since he wants to throw you over your edge before he quickly cums. He moans,

"Your pussy is too damn good princess, I can't hold back much longer. I want to fill you up but I want to taste your sweet pussy after this. How am I supposed to enjoy the flavor of your pussy if my cum is mixing with it?" You slip your hand out of his hair, scratching down his back as he groans. And he roughly bites down on your shoulder.

You would cry if Suguru's large hand wasn't crushing your small throat. Suguru almost breaks through the skin before he lets your shoulder go. And he softly kisses his bite mark then he says lowly in your ear,

"It's ok. I can always fill you up with my cum right after. And you can watch me while I do in the mirror in front of my bed." He loosens his grasp on your throat. You take in a sharp gasp, which becomes a weak cough as you turn your head away.

Only for Suguru to grab your chin and turn your face back to him when you are done. So he can spit in your mouth. You swallow his spit and stick your tongue back out as you clench around him, cumming for the second time that night.

The sensitivity and the light-headedness and the fact that you first and you're only will be your long-time love makes it hard not to cream on Suguru's cock.

Suguru says, "You are going to be a good girl and watch me fuck you in front of it. So you know how beautiful you are while taking all of my love." You didn't know love would be so rough yet feel so good. Or maybe that is Suguru.

The way he makes you feel always made you feel confused. But like you always did with Suguru, you simply accepted it as you whine,

"I love you Suguru. Give all of your love. Please don't want you to hold back." Your sweet confession has Suguru about to cum. As he pulls out of your pussy and he roughly forces you onto his knees.

His cock is near your face, so you open your mouth again. As he sticks his cock deep into your mouth, something thick and warm hits the back of your throat. Suguru is roughly panting as he runs his hand through his hair and keeps his arm bent. And this time you can't take your attention off his flexed arm and his thick fingers in his soft dark hair. With his cock still in your mouth he says,

"That it baby girl swallow all of my thick cum." He watches you swallow before he slowly Suguru pulls his cock out of your mouth and he whips your lips clean with his thumb before he tells you,

"Stand up." And the moment you do, Suguru takes you off your feet, cradling you to his wide chest. Which you press soft kisses too which makes him mummer, "I love your kisses baby. You are so sweet for me, so perfect, my love." He presses a kiss on top of your forehead and ignores the mess he has made with you as he takes you to his hidden room within the church.

Suguru throws you onto the bed, and he grabs a pillow that he hands to you. He says, "Use this to put your face on, but if you hide your face, I will spank your cheeks. If you watch your pretty self while I eat your pussy out from behind, then I'll reward you by cumming in your pussy next. How does that sound?"

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romanarose · 1 year

Text

Boys of Summer

Francisco "Catfish" Morales X Benjamin "Benny" Miller

11k words (a monstrosity)

All fanfic masterlist : Triple Frontier masterlist

Summary: Over a series of summers, Benny and Frankie meet, and realize they aren't who they thought they were. For the better part of 20 years, they grapple with their sexuality, and a myriad of factors that get in the way of them being together.

Warnings: LOOOOOTS of internalized homophobia, mentions of gay bashing, homophobia, Tom is a piece of shit, yeah I can call what he does a hate crime. Internalized biphobia, Frankie doesn't realize bisexuality is an option, worry that Frankie would "turn" Benny gay. chunks of this takes place in the early 2000's, and they don't really have words or education for what they are going through. Some minor smut, handjob, humping, semi public ig? their far enough away. angst angst angst.

A/N: Pedro Pascal is like 12 years older than Garrett Hedlund, but for the sack of this fic, it starts with Benny at 19 and Frankie at 21.

This is my 3rd TF fic titled after a Don Henly song. First End of the Innocence, then Leather and Lace, now this.

********************

Summer 2003

I can see you

Your brown skin shinin' in the sun

I see you walking real slow and you're smilin' at everyone

Benjamin Miller leaned against his piece of shit pick up truck, smoking and waiting to catch sight of his older brother and the guys he was bringing home on leave. Two years ago, Will joined the army straight out of high school, desperate for a reason to get off the farm and away from their dad, leaving Ben to deal with it alone. Things weren’t as bad as they used to be; after Benny began his growth spurt, much later than most boys his age, Benny had shot up, and he suspected their dad didn’t want to risk the fact Benny could probably beat his ass in return now. Ben always thought he’d leave as soon as he could. Maybe not the military, he wasn't one to follow orders, but maybe he’d run off somewhere, go to a big city where no one knew him or the Miller family name. Maybe he’d pick a new name, pick a new self, he wouldn’t have to be a Miller, from a family of alcoholics and meth addicts, he wouldn’t have to be Benny, the scrawny, lanky teenager he couldn’t seem to grow out of even though he’d put on muscle the last few years. He certainly wouldn’t have to be ‘Will’s brother’ the insanely gawky kid who was only saved from most of the bullying by being under Will’s protection.

People liked Will, and for good reason. He was handsome, played football, and still got great grades. He was easy to get along with for both girls and guys, and responsible. Sure, he’d go to the parties out in the corn fields, but he’d collect car keys and only hand them off to the dd’s. Girls like having him around because they could trust him, and he kept an eye on everyone's drinks and who went home with who. Will didn’t care if you’re his teammate, if a girl was sleeping off a few drinks, no one's going in that room, and the only people taking her home are her friends. Will wasn’t quick to fight the way Ben was, he managed to push down all the horrible things that had been inflicted on them, channel it into being productive, and now he was in the army, rising quickly through the ranks and making friends easily.

He’d heard these guys' names tossed around on phone calls here and there, but he didn’t know anything about them, really. In truth, Ben was less than thrilled that he was bringing them home. Granted, their was some unresolved feelings of abandonment that had already been festering for years, and it didn’t help that Will was bringing back two guys he’d never met before to take up more of his brothers time, as if they didn’t see him enough? But ma told him those guys didn’t have family, and it wasn’t right to leave them alone over 4th of July when they were 'serving our country'. That wasn’t really the issue. The issue, deep down, was that these three had something going for them, something happening, somewhere to be. Ben didn’t. It was the first week of July, Ben had graduated nearly 2 months ago, and he had no plans, no goals, nothing to do besides work on the farm through harvest. Technically, he could work on the farm the rest of his life, but he didn’t want that. He needed direction, and was looking for guidance. They were just a reminder he hadn’t found it yet.

“Get that shit out of your mouth, Benny boy!” Will's voice bellowed over the crowd, jovial but serious. He hated smoking.

Ben looked up from where he was kicking rocks with his boots, and saw his brother approaching him. Before it could be stopped, Will took him in, rubbing his knuckle on Benny’s head.

“Ah shit! You’re almost too tall for a noogie!”

Despite Ben finally growing, he still was an inch shorter than Will, and was ever-wishing he had grown a few more, but at 19, he realized this was probably it.

“Hey man” Ben tried to hide his excitement in a blase tone, but his face struggled to keep back the grin, excited to see Will after his 9 month stint in Poland.

“These are the guys”

Benny’s eyes fell on Santi first. He was shorter, handsome, his hair was shaved, strong jaw and dark eyes. Santi smiled enthusiastically lip curling with his smile as he shook his hand, saying it was nice to meet Benny after all this time. He seemed nice.

But then Benny saw Frankie, and he felt like everything shifted for him. Benny never considered himself gay, as much as people in middle school and early high school called him all the slurs in the book, Benny never considered himself much of anything, really. He had lots of friends, many of whom were girls, but Benny never dated them, except for Savannah in 7th grade but that was just because she asked him and what was he supposed to do? Say no? Well probably, but that little ‘romance’ fizzled out within a few weeks. Since then, Benny hadn’t felt much attraction to anyone. When other men were gawking over Jessica Alba or Gwen Stefani, Benny simply didn’t look at anyone, wondering for a long time if something was wrong with him.

Then there was Frankie. In his early youth, Francisco Morales was a bit on the gawky side of things as well. Big nose, big ears, a face that was still settling in and an awkward army haircut, but at first sight, Benny didn’t notice any of the features that he later found so handsome, he just noticed his eyes, and that’s all he needed. For the first time in his life, he felt seen, understood. Frankie’s eyes were pretty brown, large and not unlike a puppy dog, but had a sadness to him, a depth Benny couldn’t help but be drawn to.

“Hey, I’m Frankie.” The shy man stood until Santi elbowed him, only then did he extend his hand to Benny. “Benny” He wondered if Frankie could tell the way his hand was shaking, was it as hot and clammy as he felt? His grip was strong, not aggressive but reassuring, secure.

The Will insisted on driving, saying it was his truck, although Benny had inherited it when Will left, and the piece of shit sure as hell wasn’t going to make it to their west coast base, and a Benny sat in the back of the truck with Frankie, he felt hyper aware of everything he did, everything he said. He tried his best to act normal that day, as introductions were made, as their ma smothered her favorite child, and their dad pretended like that scar on Will’s arm didn’t come from him. They were a perfectly normal, happy family. As predicted, Benny didn’t get to see much of Will that day. Will had better things to do, better things than his annoying younger brother, he had army buddies to introduce to all his loser high school friends who were back in town for the summer.

Frankie wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with him. His usual social anxiety had been buzzing non-stop, but after meeting Will’s younger brother, it was ten fold. The boy was striking. Long, shaggy blonde hair pulled back in a backwards baseball cap, in a way that whenever he took it off to run his fingers through, Frankie found himself starring. He wanted to feel it in his own fingers. All week, he found himself waiting for glimpses of him, at breakfast when Benny walked by, grabbing a piece of french toast and saying hi before hoping in the jeep of a friend, or when Frankie, Santiago and Will ran into him at the gas station buying beer even though he absolutely was not old enough, but the cashier was a friend. Everyone was his friend, it seemed. Will had described him as such. Social, loud, fun, the kind of guy you want at your party to keep it going, but who you really know nothing about. Benny knew everyone, but no one knew him. Frankie knew what their dad did, how he beat them, and the more glimpses he got of Benjamin Miller, the angrier it made him. He already hated the man for doing that to Will, his friend, but something about Benny made Frankie want to protect him at an animalistic level. He was so cheerful, so polite to everyone, so genuine. Will didn’t spend a lot of time at the farm, for obvious reasons, but when Benny was around, he made more than polite conversations, he actually listened.

Frankie had operated under the assumption he was straight most of his life. He had sex with plenty of girls, so that was it, right? You like girls or you like guys. There wasn’t a secret third option… was there? No. He wasn’t going there. He wouldn’t allow himself to think it, and he would simply ignore every heart palpitation and the way his eyes followed everywhere Benny went.

It had been a few days at this point, several days of Benny attempting to not make it too obvious he was staring at Frankie’s strong jawline and alkaline nose every fucking chance he could. A bit of stumble had grown on him and Santi, Will preferring to keep clean shaven, but the other two enjoyed not having to shave for a few days. It was fourth of July, and as midnight approached, Benny sat on the porch smoking a cigarette and drinking his dads beer when Will’s- his truck pulled up, the sputtering engine coming to such a stop Benny wondered how many more starts it had left, and to his surprise, only Frankie stepped out.

“Hey” Benny called out as to not startle the boy as he sat in the darkness, not wanting to attract mosquitoes.

“Oh, hey man” Frankie nodded, his baseball cap tilting in the moonlight.

“Where are the others?”

Frankie slowly stepped up the stairs, a nervous energy buzzing around him. “They're all still going. Party got a little crowded for me, so they said they’d catch a ride over.”

That sounded like Will. Benny was certain Will had picked up on Frankies stress and given him an easy out.

“Well, there’s plenty of beer in the cooler if you want some” Benny kicked the red cooler to the side of him, and nodded his head over to the otherside of the porch swing he was on.

Frankie seemed to be considering, but eventually he took Benny up on his offer, settling uncomfortably down on the seat, as far away from Benny as he could get.

“Relax, man, I don’t bite” Unless you- no no no, not doing that

With a small smile, Frankie relaxed and moved just a bit closer, and attempted to open the tab of the shitty beer.

“Here.” Benny took the beer from Frankie’s hand, noticing the man’s chewed down nails, and opened it for him.

“Thanks” He mumbled before taking a drink. “It’s nice out here”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. It’s my quiet place, away from-” He gestured indoors “All that”

“Your mom seems nice”

Benny didn’t miss how Frankie didn’t say anything about his dad. Will must’ve told them.

“Yeah. She is. She deserved better.” Then Benny waited a minute for a reply.

It was barely a whisper. “You do too.” There was silence for a while, and Frankie worried he crossed a line. He barely knew him… but he felt like he did. Benny lightened up his mood whenever he entered the room, he planned the days around trying to see him again…

“Thanks, man” Benny spoke softly, with a smile.

A quick change in conversion was one of Frankie’s best skills. “So, fourth of July, no parties for you to go to?”

Benny’s laugh was loud and joyful. “No, I was definitely at one. May or may not have gotten in a fight”

That caught Francisco’s attention. “You?” He couldn’t imagine that ray of sunshine getting in a fight.

“Yeah” Another laugh. Benny obviously wasn’t taking it too seriously. “I don’t even remember what it was about, but I lost, so I had to leave.” Benny then reached back to switch on the porch light, illuminating the graphic bruise forming on his eye.

“Jesus Ben!” “Relax man” Ben grinned. “This is far from- what are you-” His words died there.

Frankie took off his shirt, and whatever else he was doing or saying was completely lost on the younger man, he was too busy shamelessly staring. He was lean, petite hips, but the definition of muscle was prominent. Not ripped, but toned in a way you naturally build in the military. Frankie’s shoulders, even in their youth, were broad, and Benny couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way his shoulders moved as his arms worked their way out of the shirt.

Unsure what took over him, that instinct to protect took over Frankie. He took off his shirt, scooping ice from the cooler and wrapped it up in the shawty material before walking over to the other side of the boy. It wasn’t lost on Frankie that Benny was staring. “Scoot over” he demanded.

Looking up at Frankie with adoring blue eyes, he did as he was told.

Frankie sat down next to him, carefully laying the make-shift ice pack over his swelling eye. “Stay still”

“Yes drill sergeant” Benny teased, ever playful.

Frankie looked over at him with a rare smile as fireworks a few farms over went off. “Beautiful” Frankie said, staring at Benny’s eyes, but nodding to the fireworks.

Benny made no attempts to hide. “Yeah. Beautiful.”

Summer, 2004

I thought I knew what love was

What did I know?

Those days are gone forever

I should just let them go but

Benny had been waiting for this since May. Will and the guys had visited, and it was Frankie who suggested Benny come out and visit them in August. By the time it had rolled around, it had began to cool off a bit up north, the last week of august offering great hunter weather. Frankie and Santi had moved high enough in the ranks that they could move out of the barracks, opting to still share a bedroom apartment to save money, but get away from the people that caused Frankie so much stress. Will preferred to stay on base. Frankie had said Benny could stay with them, and Santi agreed. Benny was hesitant, but when Will practically begged, said he had someone he wanted Ben to meet, and how could he say no to his brother wanting to spend time with him?

And how could he say no to spending the week in Frankie’s home?

Frankie had spoken to Ben a few times in the last year, Frankie somehow always finding out when Will was making phone calls and having some random question to ask just to hear his voice for a few minutes. That week in May was spent with Benny and tagging along with more and more of Will’s antics with his friends, starting with Frankie inviting Benny along drinking once, and ending with Will banging on Benny’s door at 4 AM, telling him if he wants to go fishing with them he’d better fucking hurry. Frankie was a natural peacekeeper, bridging the gap that had formed between Benny and Will in their adolescent. Will always protected Ben, was always there for him in emergencies, but he viewed Benny as a little brother, a child, even as Benny hit another growth spurt, pulling him up another two inches and making him taller than Will. When Benny picked up the guys that May, Frankie found himself flushed and flustered at the boys new height, admiring how much he seemed to have come into his own. By the time August rolled around and Benny came out east, the awkward 19 year old had given way to a strong, tall, man. His hair was longer, to his shoulders, shaggy, and with the white t-shirt and jeans made him look like Kurt Cobain, someone Frankie only recently realized his damn near obsession with the singer had to do with a crush he was sporting, something that it was becoming harder to ignore had transferred to his friend's younger brother.

“Hey man” Benny greeted Frankie with a pat on the back, and Frankie could swear his fingers lingered on his spine. Was Benny gay? Will never said anything about Benny dating one way or another, and it wasn’t exactly like Frankie could just ask, and Frankie wasn’t entirely sure himself. He’d hooked up with plenty of girls in the year he met Ben, it wasn’t like he had turned gay… is that how it worked? Are you straight one day and then one day you meet a golden god of a man suddenly you’re gay? If that was it, Frankie wasn’t gay, he could still get hard for women… so why did he want to feel Ben’s skin, why did he want to hold Ben when he was frustrated, smooth out that furrowed brow or kiss his pouting lips, yank that hat off his head and run his fingers through that raggedy blonde hair and give it a pull…

Benny absolutely purposefully trailed his hands down Francisco’s back. He wasn’t sure what entirely was going on between them, but he was sure he wanted to feel more of his warmth. The day he saw Frankie at the airport last year, he was certain everything changed, like something woke up that had been waiting, waiting, waiting… Now he could recognize it, he recognized why he never dated; he didn’t want women, he barely knew if he wanted men, but what he did know was he wanted Frankie… Ben found Frankie in the center of his fantasies, who he thought of when he took those long showers or when he was lonely and cold in bed, wishing Frankie’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him as his dad screamed about something or another in the kitchen. He still felt like a scared child in his dad's presence.

Benny longed for the sense of comfort, the bit of direction Frankie provided in his limited presence, the way, when Benny was on the phone with Will, he could hear Frankie in the background say ‘Oh hey, can I talk to Ben real quick? Something’s fucky with my truck’. The way, after Benny answered some stupid question Will could’ve answered himself, Frankie always asked how Ben was doing. Sometimes Ben said fine, and you? With the desperate hope that Frankie would give him insight, some small sliver of his life to understand him better. Sometimes, if things were bad, Benny might casually bring it up ‘Oh, just fine, just kinda wishin’ I’d went to college like my friends, you know?’ And Frankie would always offer some words of encouragement, something quick and simple that didn’t sound strange from Will’s end, but always made Benny feel better, just to know that Frankie thought Benny was doing ‘Just fine’

The ‘someone’ Will wanted Benny to meet, it turned out, was a man named Tom Davis. Tom was several years older than Will, and was a rising star in the military world. Benny was apprehensive. Tom bought Benny and Will dinner, and asked Ben a lot of questions on his interests in skills, suspiciously interested. Ben learned a long time ago that people who care this much want something from you. Or they're Frankie. Only Frankie asked him this many questions, and actually paid attention to the answers. After diner, Tom offered to give Benny a tour of the base, and although Benny didn’t really care, the guy had bought him dinner, and grandma Miller raised him with manners, so he agreed. He just wanted this over so he can get back to the apartment and spend time with his brother and the two men he had come to see as companions of his own, Frankie and Santi.

A few days later, all three of the guys had requested the day off for a hunting trip with Ben, just a few hour drive into the Washington forest in Frankie’s pick up. As everyone unloaded their equipment, Benny slide up to Frankie, his arms firm against his, and he could swear he saw Frankie blush. “Truck made it out here fine.” He commented cooly.

“Uh, yeah. She’s a good truck.” He replied, not able to meet Benny’s eyes when the kid was this fucking close and christ, did he know what he was doing?

With his best attempt at a playful tone, his voice dropping low as he grew closer to avoid anyone hearing. “Damn that’s crazy though, considering the amount of times you told me she wasn’t running.”

Frankie’s large brown eyes flicked over to Benny’s blue ones, and he froze. Was Benny flirting? Was Frankie going to flirt back? What would he say? He felt the words stuck inside him, until Will came around the corner. “You two go north, I’m going east with Santi, we’ll meet up at the ridge around noon and recovine, sound good?”

Benny spoke, knowing Frankie was likely too flustered. “Sounds good.” When Will walked away, Benny followed after, leaning over to Frankie as he did “Just you and me, Frank”

Christ, Frankie thought, that kid would be the death of him.

As the pair progressed shooting small game, Benny teasing Frankie on his lousy aim, Benny had lost his flirty edge, and Frankie was thankful. Maybe Ben picked up on his anxiety and took a step back. It wasn’t that Frankie didn’t like Benny… flirting? Is that what it was? It wasn’t that he didn’t like it, it was that he was nervous, terrified, honestly. Neither had put a name to whatever the hell it was, Frankie never even called Benny on his own, as much as he would want to this last year. Frankie didn’t want to push anything. It felt fragile, it felt delicate, it felt sacred, something that was just him and Ben, putting a label or talking about it… that would bring the real world in. So Frankie settled for small moments and side glances, for little bits of ‘that’s great man!’ when Frankie had news to share. It was what it was, but Franke wondered how long they could go like this.

“What did Tom want with you?” He asked Ben as they knelt behind a log.

Behind his shooting glasses, Frankie could still tell he rolled his eyes by the way his eyebrows raised. “Tryna recruit me. Will’s been dropping hints about it, I figured this was coming.”

“Don’t” Frankie spoke quicker than he thought possible, causing Benny to turn. “Why? Will said Tom’s high up, he can get me stationed out here with you guys after basic and AIT”

The thought of Benny on the same base as him, seeing him whenever he wanted… Frankie wasn’t sure if it was good or not. Could he keep his hands off him if he was around all the time? Certainly not if Ben kept this up. If anything happened, and that was a lot of assuming anything was happening now, Benny and him would lose their careers. The army operated under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which was a fancy way of saying ‘you can be gay but not really’. This hadn’t been a problem for Frankie, seeing as he wasn’t gay, isn’t gay, he reminded himself. Whatever was going on with Benny was just… friendship, right? It was because they understood each other, it was just bonding, brotherhood, jesus, not everything had to be gay, guys can still be friends.

The fact he wanted to kiss that stupid smirk off Benny’s face most days was an aside.

And it was wrong, wasn’t it? Frankie had been raised catholic, and Benny was raised Southern Baptist… Frankie wasn’t sure how much Benny still practiced, but he knew he went to church… could he really be the one corrupting him? Maybe Benny just needed to meet the right girl. How could he take away Ben’s chance at a happy, normal life? He deserved that. He deserved everything, everything Frankie couldn’t give him.

He hadn’t realized how long he had been thinking.

“If you don’t want me around, you can just say it” Ben joked, but there was a hint of hurt there, the way it often was when Benny tried to joke his way out of situations.

“That’s not it.” He tried to reassure him, but his creased eyebrow told Frank it wasn’t enough.

“You don’t think I’d be good at it?” Another half-joke. “I know I don’t follow orders the best-”

“No, I think you’d be great at it.” Benny paused, letting the rabbit he was aiming at hop away. “Then what is it?”

“You’re too good for the Army”

Despite Frankie’s sincerity, Ben scoffed. “Yeah okay”

“I mean it” Frankie caught Ben's eye, speaking with an intensity. “You’re a good kid, the army will break you down, take apart everything that you are, make you one of those assholes that walk around base like they're top shit. They’ll make you see things, do things you can never undo, and you’ll never be the same. I can’t stand to watch that shine in your eyes fade, Benny.”

For once, Benny had no smartass comment to make, simply taking the time to look at Frankie’s eyes, and allow the compliment to sink in. He thought he was good. “Thanks, Francisco.”

For a moment, they stayed like that, a lingering tension while Frankie waited for Ben to make a move, while he yelled at himself to do it. He could figure out the rest latter, he could figure out what he was later… right now, he just wanted Ben… but he turned away, and they went back to their sights.

“Frank, look…” Ben whispered, nudging his camo shirt and pointing into the woods. “A coyote. You want the shot?” Benny offered.

“I’d never make it” For being in the Army, his aim was shit.

“I’ll help you” Ben offered, scooting closer to Frankie, and fuck, he was wrapping his arms around him…

Ben’s stubbled face pressed close to Frankie’s clean shaven on, helping him aim. “It’s okay, Ben, you take it. You’re a better shot than me.”

“That’s why I’m helping you, dumbass.” Benny angled the gun. “Santi will be so fucking happy proud of you.”

Frankie tried to take steadily breaths, tried to focus on something other than Benny’s sweat and warmth and smell…

“Do you want me to stop?” Ben’s voice was low again, he knew damn well what he was doing, and he was giving Frankie an out.

Frankie considered it. He considered saying yes, and never dealing with the things he felt again… “No.”

Soft and sweet, Benny breathed against him. “You’re shaking.”

“Yeah, I am. But don’t stop.”

Summer 2009

I never will forget those nights

I wonder if it was a dream

Remember how you made me crazy?

Remember how I made you scream

It wasn’t for a few years that Benny realized why Will had Ben meet Tom rather than give him the pitch himself. Benny had been groomed from that day forward to join Tom’s team he was assembling. A year after Benny joined, Will, Santi and Frankie joined his handpicked special ops team, Delta Squadron, quickly taking them away from Benjamin despite the suggestion Benny would be near the others. For a few years, Benny had an incredibly unstable military life. While others were trained with people, growing bonds, Benny was shuffled from one place to another, learning special skill after special skill. That was why he was recruited. Benny tested off the charts in the ASVAB, his physical ability in its prime, agile, fast, and strong, and his skill with the gun as well as mechanics putting him way past the others, confirming what Will always suspected, but their small-town school unable to accommodate for.

Benjamin Miller was a one in a million talent.

By 25, Benny was a highly trained special agent, surpassing them in nearly all aspects, and was brought onto Tom’s team. No one even dared suggest nepotism from being Will’s brother, the kid was incredible.

The shuffling around had been intensional, they didn’t want him forming bonds outside of the ones Tom knew he already had, and certainly didn’t want him falling in love with some girl. This meant that when Tom called him and offered him a spot, Benny didn’t really have much of a choice. There was nothing for him at the base he had been for two months, but Special Ops had his brother, Santiago… and Frankie… years later, he’d grow to resent that, the way Tom manipulated his career in a way not even Will had any idea of. Will simply wanted to make a good connection for his brother with someone he knew could help Benny rise to his potential. What resulted was a high skilled, borderline genius 25-year-old with no contact with family or his hometown, no other friends, nothing else that mattered other than his team, certainly not himself. Benny was lonely, so his devotion to the four of them was intense.

Tom had done this in some respects to the others, pushing the older three together during bootcamp and conveniently making sure they were stationed together after their individual training, working the strings to make sure they were specialized the way he wanted. Benny had come along slightly later, after he heard Will glowing about his talented brother who was ‘wasting his life in some shithole middle Florida hillbilly town’. Everything was exactly as Tom planned, creating a team by Frankenstiening people in a working machine.

And man, did they work.

There was absolutely nothing their team couldn’t accomplish. After many, many hours with Santi, Pope, as he was known now, Frankie, or ‘Catfish’, was a top shot, able to take down targets from far off highs. His best skill, however, was his ability to fly anything. Benny was constantly in awe of him, the way he just jump into any chopper or plane and go, the man was incredible. Benny watched him in fascination, but it wasn’t just Cat, it was all of them. Benny loved them all indescribably, a family he never really had. He always had Will, his big brother watching out for him, protecting him, now he has three more. Tom had become a father figure to Benny, hell, to all of them, someone who brought them all together, albeit under manipulation that wouldn’t become clear for decades, but by that time… it was all there, the love, the brotherhood, it was too late to do anything about it.

Not only did Ben have Tom, a strong father figure to lead them, but he felt cared for, physically and emotionally safe in a way he never did as a child, even with Will trying to shield him. Not only did he have the guys making sure he didn’t die on the battlefield as he did them, there was always someone making sure he ate, checking in on him when he was withdrawn, noticing when he was depressed in a way his mom couldn’t be bothered to. Santi was never too busy with his own problems to ask Benny what was on his mind, was never too drunk trying to drown his anger and hurt to make sure Ben got home at night; unlike his mom, who Benny pulled a blanket over when she was passed out on wine as Benny stumbled home at 4 am after walking 3 miles because he got shoved out of an ATV, with only Will waiting up for him in their room.

He had a family, he had direction, he had guidance.

Except with Frankie.

The downside of the constant moves, even within Delta, was no one really had time to find anyone, not long term. This was just as fine for Benny, never wanting to deal with the inner struggle still going on in his head. He simply refused to believe he was gay. It went against everything he had grown up in, everything he was raised in. In church, promising he’d burn in hell, his dad promising him and Will he’d fucking kill them, his schoolmates who kicked Benny in the stomach in 6th grade calling him a fairy, and telling him he told Will they’d kill him. Despite, at the time, Benny thinking Will was all but invincible, he didn’t want Will hurt, so he put up with that treatment for months until they found someone else to torment. Everything about what he knew of himself, and what he knew about being gay didn’t match. He was army, he was a farm boy, raised on church and hard work and beer and fucking hell, how did it make it sense that he'd dream of Frankie filling him up? It didn’t, so he simply ignored it. Benny was a flirt, that certainly didn’t stop, hell he flirted with Santi. If you’ve ever been around military men, you know how they are the gayest straight men you’ll meet. That’s how Benny justified it.

So they spent one summer on Coronado Island, San Diego, occasionally shipping off somewhere but lucky enough to spend a lot of time on the beach, Santi smacking his ass, and Benny staring at Frankie shirtless and trying not to make it obvious. Santi had really come into his own the last few years. If Benny was gay, and he wasn’t, Benny wouldn’t mind being with Santi, Pope having found his way in a few sex dreams, but Frankie? It was different with Frankie. Frankie was electrifying. Every time he watched his torso rise out of the water, grown out curls wiping back droplets of seawater like a cheesy rom-com, every time Frankie tackled him back into the water, yelling insults in spainish while giggling, he couldn’t help feel like it was just them in the entire fucking ocean. The team spent hour after hour in the ocean, sometimes doing swimming drills, but a lot of BBQ’s, a lot of games, and a lot of wrestling. So much wrestling. Frankie’s firm body tangled up in his…

Frankie felt his resolve dissipating every day. It had been a relief to him, almost, when he, Santi and Will got moved somewhere else almost as soon as Benny got stationed with them, he couldn’t fucking take it, couldn’t take looking at him nearly every fucking day. In the 5 years since Benny joined, the boy had completely come into his own. Benny was strong, capable, charismatic, and fucking hot, his deep voice nearly knocking Frankie off his feet every time he spoke.

And when he sang?!?!?!?

Frankie did not know he could sing, or play guitar, but him and Santi together around the fire was fucking beautiful. “This ones for you, Fish” Benny nodded, his backwards cap doing fuck all to keep his hair out of his face and thank god they were allowed certain hair styles because Benny, as hot as he was, did not pull off the shaved head well. Only Santi seemed to look good like that.

“Been practicin’ this for yuh” Santi explained. “Know they're your favorite”

The tell-tale chords of ‘All Apologies’ strummed from Benny’s guitar, Santi singing and Benny harmonizing.

'What else can I say? Everyone is gay.'

Ironic.

Frankie couldn’t help but smile even harder at that, two of his best friends having practiced one of his all time favorite songs for him having him grinning already. He knew this was Benny’s idea, he couldn’t count how many times Frankie made Benny listen to this album while they cruised around in his truck over the last 6 years. Benny had become everything to him, his best friend, his life blood, the heart of the group. Benny could make them smile even the hardest days, but he knew when to shut his mouth, when to simple wrap an arms around them, when to just be there. He was the glue, a last minute addition to what Frankie was slowly realizing had been them being pushed together, but an addition they never would have functioned without. And right now, Frankie wasn’t sure he could function much longer without Benny’s lips as he watched him sing, that sweet, deep voice he wanted so badly in his ear.

They had reserved a cabin by the ocean so they could all drink to their heart's content without having to drive, and one by one they went to bed, Benny promising to take care of the fire, leaving only Ben and Frankie on the beach, beer in hand as they laid on the blanket in the sand.

“I liked the song, Ben, you have a nice voice. You should sing more.”

“Thanks, man.” Benny was thankful for the darkness covering the blush on his face.

Frankie couldn’t help it, he needed more from Ben, he needed to know where he stood, where they stood, if it was anywhere. “Bet it works wonders on the ladies”

Benny laughed at that, his loud, boisterous laugh Frankie loved so much and would do anything to hear. “Yeah, not a lot of girls coming this way.”

“I don’t believe that for a second” Frankie turned to look at Benny’s strong features, taking in every detail as he moved ever so slightly closer.

“Yeah” He chucked. “You got me. They’re trying, but this” Ben motioned to his body. “Is on lock”

“Really?” Frankie laughed, but he wasn’t sure if Ben meant women, for men, for just now… he couldn’t be a virgin at 25… could he? “No women?”

“Yeah. On lock down like a penitentiary, I’m not a man-whore like Santi.” From Frankie’s view, Benny’s chest shook with laughter at his own joke, but Frankie was too busy looking at his ever-smiling face, still staring at the stars.

Frankie hesitated, but spoke, nervous and slow. “I was wrong, you know.”

“About what?”

“I said the army would break you, but here you are.” Frankie’s town was borderline whimsical, soft, barely a whisper above the crash of the ocean and the caw of the seagulls, practically a declaration of it’s own. “They never took you.”

At that, Benny turned to him, his face suddenly so close to Frankie’s close enough he could…

“Waddya mean?” Benny asked, his hand, flat against the blanket, inching closer to Frankies.

Frankie could hardly focus. This was his chance, tell him what he means to you, tell him that he is your fucking sunshine, how on days when you don’t know if you can get up, he’s there, and you do it for him, you’d do anything for him…

Benny was entranced. He rarely got to see Frank this close, certainly not for this song, able to soak up every detail, every line on his skin and oh god, did he soak it in. the curve of his nose, the way the bones of his face dipped and curved were locked into his memory, he was fucking perfect, he was his strength, his guidance, the north star that, no matter how cloudy things got, was always seen, and would always show Benny the way. He waited, he waited to see what Frankie would say, if it was enough to give Ben permission to make a move, to say something more, to tell him how badly he’s wanted him all these years and how Benny just wished Frankie would do something about it if he felt the same.

Finally, Frank spoke. “I told you, back on that hunting trip that the army would destroy you, make you do things you’d never come back from, you’d never be the same, you’d lose that light in your eyes, but it never left, and I don’t really think it’s going to, is it? It’s just you, you’re just sunshine... My sunshine.”

Benny’s breath hitched at that, as it always did when he was Frank’s anything. Whenever he said something as simple as “my friend” or “my teammate” Benny felt a surge of pride, even though it made no sense he felt like Frankie was claiming him.

“Yeah? You’re sunshine?”

“Yeah” Frankie was working up the courage. Kiss him, kiss like you’ve wanted to for 6 years, everything else be damned, everything else will sort itself out.

“What I said earlier?” Benny’s pinkie touched Frankie’s, ever so slightly. “About no women?”

“Yeah?” Frankie wrapped his pinkie around Benny’s. His.

“I wasn’t joking. No women. No men.” Fuck, he said it outloud, it was practically an admittance, something deep and dark and secret he never dared speak, but it was spilling out now, his whole heart pouring to Frankie, he was ready to tell him everything.

But Frankie froze. “No men?”

Benny couldn’t read his expression. Something in the air had shifted, but their fingers were still interlocked… “Yeah… nothing. I haven't…” It was Ben’s turn to feel nervous, the anxiety that usually radiated off Frankie feeling like punches of ocean waves from his heart. “Not with anyone. Anything… with anyone. At all. Kissing ‘n such.”

The boy was a virgin. He hadn’t had his first kiss yet. All this time, Frankie had operated under the assumption that Benny had all the experience when it came to this, the way he acted, always so natural and confident, flirting with him… Frankie had plenty of experience with women, and it couldn’t be that different, could it? Before he could really stop himself, he moved in, gentle and slow. He wanted to be Benny’s first kiss, and he was pretty sure Benny wanted him to be his too. It all felt so innocent, so youthful, the clean-slate feel Frankie always got with Benny, like nothing he had done, nothing that had happened to him mattered when Ben was around. It was tentative, but the way Benny leaned into it told him all he needed to know; Benny wanted him too.

But Frankie, as usual, quickly got wrapped up in his own head. Benny was innocent. Benny was uncorrupted by the army, by anyone, he deserved more. Frankie couldn’t give him a family, they couldn’t get married, they’d lose their careers and could lose everyone they loved, what did the guys think? They never talked about things like this, he didn’t know where they stood, really… Frankie could risk it all for Benny, but Benny… as Frankie pulled away, he looked at Ben, youthful and pure, his surprised blue eyes intense and waiting, waiting on him… He couldn’t let Ben risk everything for him. He wasn’t worth it. Ben still had a chance. He just needs to meet a nice girl, and he’ll be fine. He couldn’t do anything to Ben that couldn’t be undone, he had already taken his first kiss and God, that was enough.

As he pulled back, his pinky slowly moving away from Ben, he could tell Ben was waiting, waiting on him to say something, do something…

“Benny-”

“What’s going on here?” Tom’s voice was over them, and neither Benny nor Frankie had any idea how much he saw…

The urge to protect Benny took over all else, he whispered, so, so quiet “I got this” Before sitting up. “Got the liquor spins, laying down.” He lied. They had a few drinks, but not enough to make anything spin.

Tom looked them over, arms crossed and glaring, Frankie had a sinking feeling Tom saw, and he prepped himself to take the fall. He could say he made the move, Benny didn’t do anything…

“Yeah.” Tom said. “Maybe it’s time to go to bed”

Frankie gave a nervous laugh. “Probably a good idea” and nudged Ben to move.

Benny was uncharacteristically quiet as he walked past Tom to the room him and Frankie were sharing, anxious to talk to Frankie about what happened away from everyone else.

“Benjamin.” Tom called over his shoulder, not even looking at the much younger man as he froze in his tracks. “Stay with Will tonight. Wake up Santi, tell him I said move, no questions.”

The fact Benny didn’t argue, didn’t question or whine was a telltale that he knew he was caught, and wandered through the door of the cabin like a kicked puppy.

Frankie wanted to hold him, to put himself between Benny and whatever words Tom would say to him in the morning, any harm that might come to him… but someone had to act like nothing happened. He tried to move past Tom’s overbearing body, but Tom fisted his hand in his shirt, throwing the shorter man up against the wall of their small cabin, his forearms pressed against Frankie’s throat.

“I don’t care what you are, I don’t care what weird shit you do, but I don’t want it going on in my team, or we’re going to have a problem” Tom emphasized his point by thrusting his arm harder, impairing some of Frankie’s breathing.

“We weren’t-”

“Bullshit!” The large man bellowed. Tom was a man to be feared, 6’4, strong and broad, with a temper that echoed underneath his ability to lead, a fear under the skin of their respect. Tom was capable of harm, they’d seen it before. They all were, but Tom… nothing came before the team, and what Frankie and Benny were doing put the whole team at risk. “I saw what happened, Catfish. That kid,” Tom let go of his hold, and gestured to the cabin “barely knows anything outside the army and that podunk town he grew up in.”

As much as Frankie was scared out of his mind, he felt defensive of Benny, and Tom’s claims of naivity. “And whose fault is that?” Frankie called out Tom’s role in manipulating Benny’s life.

This earned Frankie a fist to his jaw. It wasn’t terribly hard, Francisco knew Tom was holding back significantly.

“How do you think Ironhead’s gonna react when he finds out his brother is a homo? You wanna be the one that puts the divide back between them? And how about Pope? You think he’s going to want to take those fishing trips with you if he finds out you wanna suck his dick”

“I don’t…” but the words died in his mouth. He didn’t want Santi like that, but Santi was his best friend, his brother, he wasn’t sure what he’d do without Santiago in his life. And what about Benny? Will had been the only constant in his life, the only protection he could count on, the only person that Benny knew, without a doubt from the day he was born, would be on his side. There was no way Frankie could get between them, he couldn’t be the one to make Ben lose a promising career.

“Don’t make me have this talk with Benny.” It was a threat, a threat to harm Ben the same way or worse he had just done to Frankie.

That was what did it, the final straw. The thought of Tom hurting Ben was enough for him. Benny wouldn’t lose his career. Benny wouldn’t lose his brother. Benny wouldn’t lose his found family.

“Understood.” Frankie nodded, not looking at Tom as he felt his jaw swelling.

“Go.”

Humiliated and ashamed, Frankie went into the cabin, deadset and determined to keep Ben at arm's length from then on, for both of their sakes and for the sake of the team. Benny would have a normal life, he’d find the right girl and he wouldn’t have to worry about a life of sin and abuse and isolation from the people he loved.

“Hey” Benny popped out of the shadows, worried eyes checking for Tom. “Thank for, um, that-” Benny tried to apologize, but Frankie didn’t look at him, brushing past to go to the room he’d share with Santi tonight.

“Go to bed” He mumbled gruffly.

“Frank-”

But he was already opening the door, and Benny didn’t want Santi to hear anything.

Frankie slunk into his room, unsurprisingly finding Santi up, woken from his sleep in the room he had with Will. Frankie was thankful for the off lights, however, as he felt rare tears brimming at his eyes, and Santi would be able to tell immediately.

“Everything okay?” Santi asked, voice soft with sleep.

Frankie almost lied. “No.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“No”

A pause, before Santi asked his final question. “Something happen with Ben?”

Frankie felt his breath hitch and his body freeze as he began to lay down. Did Santiago know? Did everyone know and the only people too stupid to see it were him and Benny? No. Santi wouldn’t want to share a room with someone like him if Santi knew what he was.

Gay. No other way about it, Frankie was gay. He liked women, and he liked men, and Frankie wasn’t even sure if that was a real thing but that’s what it was, unable to deny that fact he wanted Benny in every fucking way two people can be together.

Closing his eyes tightly and hoping the moon light that came through the curtain wouldn’t show the tears that streamed down his face, Frankie replied to Santi honestly. “Yeah. Something happened.”

Summer 2015

Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac

A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back"

It was at get together at Will’s, Frankie and Benny had drifted into their own private corner, as they tended too, even after everything.

“So. You hear the news.” Ben started, talking quietly, out of earshot of the others loudly chattering.

“What news.” Frankie asked, Benny’s question was pretty vague but he had an idea what this was about.

“Supreme court ruling. It’s legal everywhere in the US now.”

Frankie couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. I things are starting to change.”

Summer 2019

Now I don't understand what happened to our love

But babe, I'm gonna get you back

I'm gonna show you what I'm made of

It was different after the kiss, Frankie was different. Benny often wondered if Frankie was mad at him, angry that Benny didn’t stand up for them, that Ben couldn’t admit to what had happened, what had been happening between them for 6 years. Should Ben have stayed? When he saw the bruise on Frankie’s jaw, he knew right away that Frankie hadn’t run into a cabinet, he knew Tom did something to him. Benny should’ve stayed, should’ve protected Frankie the way Frankie had always protected him whether as Catfish or as Francisco, the way he’d continue to for the next several years of their careers together, even if he was distant.

Benny was furious at Tom. Not furious enough to confront him, however, that would require anger and stupidity, Tom could fold even Will. He wanted so badly to say something, to tackle Tom down and make him pay the morning he woke up, watching Santi ice Frankie’s jaw. Benny wanted to quit, or rather, not re-enlist when the time came… but the time came slowly, and as Frankie’s jaw healed, so did the tension between everyone by the end of the last mission. Trauma bonds people together, and when they all made it out safely, they were all so glad to be alive, everything else stopped mattering. That was the thing about the military. You see things, you do things, but you do them with people, a bond that goes beyond logic and reason when you watch people die together, sometimes at your own hand. Frankie was never quite the same, though. They didn’t spend long hours cruising around in his truck listening to Nirvana, and there was a clear disconnect between him and Tom. Frankie practically clung to Santi most days, and when Tom retired and things began to fall apart, Frankie only stuck around as long as Santi did.

For the next year and a half, Santi was the de-facto leader of Delta Squadron, but it was fairly obvious this was only to keep things going until everyone could leave, not wanting his friends to start a new squadron or some useless job for a few months. No one wanted to re-enlist. Will was out first, only leaving if Ben swore he’d leave when the time came. Benny promised, and he did, moving into an apartment Will leased for them to keep Ben out of their dad’s, who had gotten much worse after their mom died in 2007.

Tom started selling houses, and he sucked at it. Santi did for-hire policing and paramilitary work no one asked too many questions about, except when he came around asking if they wanted a part. Will got a job at the VA and did speeches, stuff sounding similar to the one he gave Ben back in 2004, but his main job, it seemed, was the same one it had been since they were kids; keeping Benny alive. Frankie got a legitimate piloting job, until he got addicted to coke. That didn’t stop him from having a baby with a girl he fought with all the time. That fucking killed Benny, he couldn’t stand to see their pictures, not when they looked so happy but the sparse phone calls he got when Frankie was high told him otherwise. He loved his kid, however, that much was obvious.

“Hey man, you still up?” Benny asked as he wandered outside to the deck Frankie was standing on, having a drink.

“Hey. Yeah. Couldn’t sleep. Missing Elena.” Frankie pulled out his phone, flashing a picture of him and his daughter on the home screen.

Benny smiled at the cute kid. “She’s beautiful, Frank”

Frankie gave a sad smile as he put his phone away. “Thanks. Not really sure what the future looks like right now, however.” A pause. “Jess broke up with me. Said if I went, it was over.”

“Frankie…” Benny turned, sympathetically. “C’mon man, you didn’t have to come. Santi would’ve found another pilot”

“Yeah” Frank scoffed. “He would’ve. That’s why I came.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Frankie chugged his beer, and went to head inside.

“No, come one Frank, what does that mean?” Benny asked again. “Don’t shut me out again, man.”

But Frankie, even though he paused, walked inside.

They had never been the same. There was a divide, a distance between them, and Benny often regretted that kiss. Not because he regretted Frankie, no, he would never want anyone else to be his first kiss. Frankie was probably the only person who didn’t laugh their ass off at him not only being a virgin at 25, but never having kissed anyone either. No, Ben regretted the way they changed after that. On his end it was perfect; simple, slow, soft… he might have done more with Frankie that night had they not been interrupted… but they were, and Benny lost his friend in a lot of ways that night.

Things had gone, to say the least, badly. Thank’s to Tom’s greed, Will was shot, and Benny nearly died falling out of the helicopter Frankie piloted and despite the fact they had hiked miles today and about fell off a mountain like that poor donkey, Frankie couldn’t sleep. He always killed Benny, he almost killed all of them. Since that night on the beach, Frankie kept his distance. They were still friends, they were still there for each other, they were still brothers… but it wasn’t the same.

“Frank. You up?” Benny whispered from where he lay.

Frankie signed. “You know damn well I’m up.”

“Can I come over?”

Frankie was laying down slightly away from the others, typical for him when he was in a mood. “Yeah.”

Quietly, with the others knocked out cold, Benny moved over to where Frankie layed. “You’re overthinking again, aren’t you”

“Of course I am.” Frankie spat. “I almost killed you.”

Benny laid down, facing Frankie but keeping distance, not wanting to push him. Benny had the experience now, spending the last few years taking trips out to Miami, exploring the scene there. Sex, he had plenty of experience with. Relationships? Well, he had all but given up on. It wasn’t that he was holding out for Frankie, he wasn’t, but no one was ever him. He never felt that connection, that free, relaxed, simple way that they were. He never met someone who’d listen to John Denver with him even though they preferred grunge, just because they knew it was something Benny loved. They never asked about Will, about his cousins, they never checked in on the anniversary of his mothers death and never reached out when an uncle died. No one had been through things with him the way Frankie had, been there as long nor as steadfast, no one was him. Never would be, he supposed. So Benny resigned himself to this, to taking what he was given, what he was allowed, what Frankie was comfortable with.

“Stop.” Benjamin spoke firmly, but quiet, as Frankie avoided his gaze. “Don’t. You didn’t almost kill me, you’re flying is the only reason we lived. And whatever happens, we all made our choice to be here, and we’re all doing the best we can.”

“Except Redfly” Frankie grumbled.

This caused Ben’s face to split into a wide, youthful grin. “Yeah, the jackass.”

Benny was always the one to call out other people’s bullshit, always. Frankie couldn’t held but smile, closing his eyes as he tried to keep in his laugh, prompting Ben to do the same thing, the pair quietly giggling together like they had in their teens.

“I missed you, Francisco.” He said, suddenly serious, shuffling slightly closer.

Frankie tensed, but made no attempt to move away. “I’ve been around”

“You know what I mean. It…” Benny’s voice was suddenly very, very quiet, checking over Frankie’s shoulder to make sure everyone, especially Tom, was asleep. “Ever since that night, you’ve been… distant.”

Frankie refused to look at him. “Why are you doing this right now.”

“We could die tomorrow, Frank!”

“Shut up!” He hissed, looking over to check they hadn’t woken anyone.

“Frankie!” Benny still was quiet, but his voice was harsh as he guided his face to him. “C’mon, man, after everything that just happened, everything that we’ve done the last 10 years, you wanna just… leave this here?”

Don’t let him in, don’t let him do it, don’t open your eyes because if you open your eye’s you’re FUCKED, you get one look at those baby blues, it’s over.

“There’s nothing here, Ben” Was he talking to Benny, or trying to convince himself.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

It was. And Frankie did know it.

“Look at me, Francisco.”

And just like that, Frankie opened his eyes and christ, had Benny always been this close? Had his eyes always been this pretty? Of course they had, he was stunning, everything about him was amazing, and it was incredible to get to see it this close again, the way he had thought about for the last 10 years.

Tentatively, Benny reached out to touch his patchy, bearded face. “What did he do to you, Frankie?”

He wanted to close his eyes, wanted to will Benny away and go to sleep and he pretended he wasn’t in love with Benny for the last 15 years, as if Benny didn’t occupy his spare thoughts and he didn’t think of stuffing himself in Benny’s ass every other time he fisted himself.

The words came out strangled and pained, worry and anxiety that plagued him constantly swirling in his head, but he couldn’t tear himself away from his eyes, from the man’s warmth. “He said he’d hurt you, Ben” Frankie held back tears, even as he felt himself press up against Benny’s body, sharing in his warmth.

Benny held him steadfast. “Oh sweetheart… Always protecting me… that's why you came here, wasn't it? to protect us?" With his thumb, he caressed the same jaw Tom swung at all those years ago. “I should've stayed with you, I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, it only made sense for one of us to get it.”

Tracing the features of his face, Benny soaked in in, and this time, when Frankie closed his eyes, he knew it wasn’t because he was hiding from him. “That’s why you got weird, isn’t it? Because of the kiss?”

“You were young, Ben.”

“I was 25”

“No, I mean… You hadn’t kissed anyone, I thought... maybe you hadn’t met the right girl, you had so little life experience, I didn’t… I didn’t want you to lose everything because of me”

Ben nuzzled his forehead against Frankie’s, the older man’s skin giving him more warmth than the burning money had. “You were worth losing the army, Francisco.”

Shaking his head, Frankie fought against it. “Not just that, I didn’t know how Will would react, Santi, your folks… I don’t know what you believe anymore, I don’t want to be the one to corrupt you-”

“Frankie, look at me.” Two hands this time, Benny guided Frankie’s face to him, noses bumping with the closeness. “Will and Santi, I don’t think they’d care. They might be a bit confused at first but they want us to be happy. Tom is gonna have a problem but after the shit he pulled today, I ain’t plan’n on talking to him anyway. And I’m not going to hell. I believe in God, a God of love, and I can’t believe he’d be against this, because this, this is love.” It was Benny that kissed Frankie, who eagerly opened his mouth to him, the kiss all encompassing and desperate, fueled by the locked away passion of all these years. “Before you, I never… I thought something was wrong with me, nothing turned me on, I thought, well I guess the term now is asexual, but when I saw you with Will that first day, everything changed. I realized… I never even looked at men because I didn’t think it was even an option. With you, everything made sense. You were the only thing that ever made sense to me.”

Frankie wrapped his arms around Ben, bodies pressed tightly as their mouths bumped together, in and out of kisses as the confessions poured out. “I’m sorry, Benny, I just wanted to protect you, I just wanted you to be safe, that’s all I ever wanted, Ben” The relief he felt was insurmountable, to be here, to be with Benny, finally holding him, kissing him. He wanted more, he wanted so much more, he wanted Benny naked in his arms, he wanted to make Benny feel good.

“I know, baby, I know, shhh, it’s okay, Francisco.” Benny pulled him tight against him, feeling the growing erection in his pants matching his own. “Can I help you with that?”

Frankie hesitated, so Ben reassured him. “We don’t have to do anything, we got all the time in the world, but they won’t wake up, I promise. They're out cold.”

“Y-yeah” There was nothing Frankie wanted more in the entire world. Benny reached a hand to palm the bulge in Frankie’s pants, Frankie pressing soft kisses into his neck. “Sorry, I’m usually a little more in control in these situations.”

“It’s okay, you got plenty of time to show me what you got later, just let me make you feel good, after everything today, we deserve that.” Carefully unbuttoning his pants, Benny pulled his cock out. The sheer size of him was no surprise, he’d seen it in the shower and taking a piss before, but fully hard and in his hand? Fuck, Benny thought there could be nothing better.

“Fuck, fuuuuuck, Benjamin…” Frankie groaned as Benny stroked him, rutting himself against Benny’s leg. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe I waited this long to feel you.” He knew he was crying, but he couldn’t stop it.

“Hey, hey” Benny’s free hand played with Frankie’s hair. “We’re right where we need to be”

“Thank you, Benny, thank you.” He was breathless, on the verge of spilling over so soon, but god, wouldn’t that be embarrassing? But Benny felt so good, and they waited for so long…

Benny took his own dick out, not wanting to get sticky cum inside his pants he’d have do god knows what in tomorrow.

They were cold, laying on rocks and backpacks of blood money, it was messy and hushed but it was uninhibited, and so unabashedly them, finally being able to express to each other what they meant.

“Can you come for me? Hm?” Benny asked, speeding up his movements for both himself and Frankie, who was clinging to him like a rock in the storm.

“Don’t know if I can be quiet Ben, you feel so fucking good.” Frankie was practically whimpering.

Guiding Frankie’s head to the crook of his neck, he held him close, cradling his head. “Let it out, Francisco, let it go, it’s okay”

Muffled by Benny’s warm, sweaty skin, with a choked sob, Frankie came on Benny’s hand, Ben’s own release following soon after with the sounds of Frankie’s pleasure. They laid there for a moment after covering themselves again because it was fucking cold out and staying there in each other's embrace. In the most Benjamin Miller fashion, he cleaned up with hundred-dollar bills, throwing them away into the dry brush.

Guiding Benny to turn over so his back was to Frankie’s chest, pulled flush against him, Frankie wrapped his arms around Benny in a protective grasp, holding him close, basking in the shared warmth on the cold mountain.

“What about the others?” Benny asked him.

“Let them see. I don’t care any more, don’t wanna hide. I love you.” Frankie promised, his racing thoughts finally as ease, allowing him to get some much needed sleep.

“Frank, promise me…” Benny’s voice trailed off as sleep pulled at him as well, safe and warm in Frankie’s strong arms.

“Anything, Carino.”

“If we live, we’ll finally figure this out, we’ll finally do something about this.”

“Think we can? After everything we’ve done, I got the baby, and who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, and-”

“Yeah,” Benny wrapped his arms around Frankies, scooting back to feel every bit of him he could. “We can figure it out, all of it. Things are different now, way different from when we were kids… we can get married, raise your daughter, have a normal, happy life, together.”

“Yeah. You and me, together. Happily every after.”

“Happily ever after.”

Whatever came in the morning, whatever Will or Santi thought, whatever bullshit Tom pulled, whatever happened or whatever they had to do, it would be okay, because he was right where he needed to be. In his arms.

I can tell you my love for you will still be strong

After the boys of summer have gone

*******************

Goddamn. Shit almost got me a few times, I'll tell you that. When Frankie was explaining to Benny why he got so distant, I almost lost it, and I had a lot of feelings writing Tom. I struggled with finding the write words, bc I 100% beleive tom is completely homophobic and would use worse slurs, but despite the fact I am a bisexual woman, I cant bring myself to type them.

For the record, no one brought it up. Tom didn't say a word to benny or frankie up through his death. Even after everything. Benny still was upset because it's Benny, and he is attached to everyone.

Santi knew Frankie and Benny had feelings for each other, so he wasn't surprised, and Will was a bit confused, but its not like he hadn't suspected it before either, but ofc he supported them.

I hope ya'll like this. If you want more Benny/Frankie, conside checking out the Awakening Series. It's mostly various group sex/ threesomes, etc but it's a continuing exploration of sexuality and romance, and a different take on how Benny and Santi find each other. Also if you're looking for more M/M Triple Frontire work, plleeaasseee go check out this series, its a fucking incredible Santi/Benny series and the writer just had inspiration for chapter 4 so maybe if ya'll show her appreciation and love for this amazing series they'll keep going!

Might be the last fic I write for a hot min. due to car problems, i need to pick up extra shifts and I got papers comign up I need to work on so you might not hear from me a whole lot, but I love you all!

taggimg my usuals, but I know its not a reader fic so if its not your thing no worry!!!!

@luciannadraven33 @welcometostayingawake @howaboutcastiel @in-between-the-cafes @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @littlenosoul @apollo-enthusiast @milkymoon2483 @kittyofalltrades @howaboutcastiel

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Part 2 here

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