#Tw ableism

[schizopositivity]

Hi, sorry for bothering you. Could you explain the "grippy socks" phenomenon thing? I have tried looking it up but the only thing I found were actual socks so I think I'm missing some context.

It's an online term that refers to the type of socks they give you in psychiatric hospitals (with the rubbery bottoms to prevent slipping on the hard floors). This goes over the origin of this as a meme:

But with that has come plenty of sanist memes as the socks are a visual representation of people who have been in psychiatric facilities, and will use "grippy socks" and terms like "crazy" interchangeably. People also try to make it cute sounding by calling a stay at a psych ward a "grippy sock vacation", belittling what the experience is actually like for a lot of people. The meme has also been used to restate the old, misogynistic "joke" that "crazy girls are better at sex" with the new saying "grippy socks, grippy box" (eww). It's also worth noting that a lot of people using this phrase in memes haven't actually been to a psych ward themselves, they use it to describe their mental state like "I'm afraid to be too honest with my therapist, I'm afraid they'll put me in grippy sock jail". Which is a little frustrating as someone who has had psych ward stays, it's weird to see people use it to describe themselves when they haven't actually had to go.

#answered #grippy socks #grippysockvacation #tw sanism #tw misogyny #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #sanism #tw ableism #ableism #mental health awareness

[shitswiftiessay]

Taylor getting roasted on twitter for that awful lyric and her awful dancing

And swifties are being racist and ableist as usual

#shit swifties say #anti taylor swift #parasocial relationships #toxic swifties #tw racism #tw ableism #fuck taylor swift #the toilet paper department

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! Want to double check that I've done a decent job of avoiding disfiguremisia, and try to turn it into great counter to hatred instead of just an okay one.

Preface: I have a form of memory loss and likely brain damage so I cannot always phrase things clearly although I will try my best.

Personally I do not feel happy reading escapist stories as that happy ending is not achievable for real people. We don't get to live in a place that's completely safe and free from judgement. I'd like to write people in a hostile world who find love and safety and community, however this does necessite writing hostility. I want to make sure I'm doing so with care.

I would like to make sure that the hostility written as tension does not tar how I write how one of the main characters. He should be written with dignity and respect even when he is not being treated well by those around him.

One of my characters is blind and develops severe burn scars. He wears a blindfold to help with photophobia and sensory overwhelm, but takes it off when its dim. (CVI plus autism.)

While he does wear a cloth coverings in public due to ugly laws, he views it as a ridiculous requirement and happily removes this mask when with friends. He also enjoys that being visibly strange or somewhat unnerving to most people means that shallow people who judge by appearances avoid him.

Question: what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia? I have him being content with his face as it tells a story of his life and he's a blunt, forward person, not covering his face for most of the story despite laws necessitating that he do so, and a few other things too (and many side characters with facial differences and deformities also).

Also none of the central plotlines centre around facial difference. He's joining a servant rebellion, befriending a bitter exile intent on status at all costs, and discovering the truth of history. (Also a mind controlling octopus being is involved and a semi sentient moon amalgam thing but don't worry about it everything's fine.)

I think later books will be a more effective counter due to lack of ugly laws and him finding a lovely interest. I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world. I want his happy ending to feel real.

I respect the hell out of escapist fantasies it's just that they do nothing for me personally. I really want to write someone dealing with a lot - more than I ever have - and coming out the other end happy. Yes this world is hostile and will judge me but I can find joy despite it all. Some say the world is universally cruel but I have not found this to be the case. It is wise to be wary but myself and friends can create small sections of time and space where no precautions are necessary. Am I not part of the world? Are not they? The world is not universally cruel as long as I and those I treasure live in and we are not extraordinary, simply uncommon, and what is uncommon is still a great bounty. (Something to that effect.)

I'm set on what I want to write but the specifics I'm more than happy to change in order to bring joy. Do you have ideas on how I can do this full idea full justice?

Hello,

before getting to your actual ask, I have a "few" questions about the premise of the story itself.

You mention that you don't like escapist fantasies - that's fair. Taste differs; you can write whatever and that's great. But I do find the insistence to write a story about a specific type of discrimination as an outsider rather strange. If you want to have facial difference representation, I assume you want to have readers with facial differences, correct? I mean, I don't think that many able-bodied people would be too interested in it specifically considering most don't know what it is. So okay, this is supposed to be a story of characters with facial differences overcoming centuries worth of hatred and all that. Arguably more, considering that disfiguremisia and ableism go all the way back to Biblical times.

Why are you the person who needs to tell this story?

Just as people with facial differences are readers, we can be authors as well. We tell our stories. I will take an #OwnVoices book over a one that isn't that any day, and this fact will influence the rest of this answer. I'm a firm believer in #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs and all when it comes to this stuff.

Have you talked to people with facial differences who would be interested in the kind of story you want to tell? Do you know what they want to see from an author that's not taking it from their own experience? I don't count here, because as I made clear before, I'm not and won't be interested in it. I also don't know anyone in the community who has ever said "I wish more people without our experiences wrote about how hard it is to be us!". You need to make sure there are people who want this.

So, have, or will you, reach out to those that could like it? Sensitivity readers, random people online who like to read about disfiguremisia in their free time, advocates who work on media-centric problems? Anyone who would enjoy it is automatically a better candidate to help than me. I'm too jaded, I suppose.

If you want to talk about people with facial differences in such detail and setting, you need to get to know us. One guy with a specific set of opinions from a blog on Tumblr isn't that (thank god), but I guess I can serve as a reminder that not everyone will be excited to read a book that represents them in some way. We still have preferences.

To write it, you need to involve yourself in the community, start actually spreading activism about our issues. Preach about Face Equality and celebrate when our once-a-year week happens in May. See what disfiguremisia causes. Share our efforts to get all the problematic garbage off the big screen. Read our stories. Understand us as people who are incredibly diverse, and that not all of us like to be described as strange or unnerving.

If you only want to talk about our suffering as some quota to fill on a "types of discrimination" list, it will always be flat and inauthentic, and if you don't put in the effort it's pointless. We don't want tragedy porn, and we don't need to be included in every story about struggles that just wants some brand-new type of bigotry in it. We want authors who care about us, the living and breathing people. And sometimes it might mean respecting our opinions on writing disfiguremisia.

Here is a great post by @writingwithcolor explaining the effects of tragedy exploitation. Not everything there applies, but I would consider it a very valuable read.

If you think about all this, and decide that you are ready to write such a heavy, community-based story, go ahead to...

Actual Answers! Hooray

what other things might I be able to employ to counter disfiguremisia?

Sympathize with him. Disfiguremisia is a tragedy, it's brutal and it hurts. It's traumatic and impossible to forget, even if it wasn't happening constantly just to remind us that it's still there. On this note, I would recommend you research writing characters with PTSD.

Have him think about it. Sometimes I get home after getting stared down on the street and just want to yell. You don't forget a microaggression or a hate crime after five minutes. Let him vent and let him be upset. He can have flashbacks or recall similar situations that happened in the past.

I'm glad that he's aware of disfiguremisia unlike a ton of characters who are somehow always unable to figure out that it's a problem. If the ableism he's facing is so systemic and severe, individual people will be even more extreme. You can have him remember that the shop owner was a slur-spitting bigot, or that his neighbors avoid even talking to him. I want him to call them out - in retrospective, at the moment, in his head, whatever - on what they're doing. Throw a "not this fucking thing again" or something in there.

The minimum is to make him feel like a human with an internal thought process, who is able to actually experience what's happening to him, and for it to have long-term effects.

Also, outside of the whole disfiguremisia thing and me being overdramatic, check out our #blindness tag, and research burn scar care. If you don't show the boring and mundane, it will only feel closer to tragedy porn; just a sad thing one after another.

I will also do my best to make the counters feel real and feasible - I want it to feel like an achievable option for those who deal with prejudice in the real world.

This I think is the part of the ask that made me the saddest, and not because of what you wrote. I tried to think of achievable ways; ways that we did it, tried to do it, and are doing it, and one-by-one I crossed them out as "didn't work", "no one cared enough" or "kinda worked but honestly, it didn't". Face Equality is basically non-existent, not matter how much it hurts me to admit it! We are trying our best, and it doesn't work. It's just plain hard for me to come up with suggestions for this.

In fiction, I suppose that personal resistance is the way when it comes to this. I don't think there are feasible systemic changes that could happen that don't border on magical thinking or get into the "singular glorious revolution that somehow fixes everything and everyone lived happy ever after. We fixed racism, yay!". This just sucks.He could try to educate the people who are willing to listen - that's somewhat what I'm trying to pull off here on this blog, I guess. Sometimes it works, often it doesn't, but in his situation it wouldn't hurt to try.

The fundamental part here will be whether your character is able to find a way to make the ordinary person care in the end. To me, society who still hates us just as much, with a small group that thinks we're okay isn't a happy ending. The opposite, rather. It's cold and isolating to know only your friends could value you as a human being, and downright sad to imply that we should be happy for that. I don't mean that everyone should love us in every story, but there's a difference between The Ableism being represented by an antagonist or two versus the entire world except for the main characters.

If you decide to go forward with this story, I do hope your other readers with facial differences enjoy it!

mod Sasza

[This ask was submitted before my announcement of not taking questions regarding this subject matter. As of publishing this, it still applies.]

#mod sasza #anonymous #face difference #disfiguremisia #tw ableism #long post

[mime-rodeo]

what is it with people nowadays using the word “narcissistic” as a replacement for toxic or abusive? even if we are ignoring the fact that this sounds ableist towards people with NPD (which we shouldn’t ignore btw but just for the sake of this argument) y’all are not even using it in its ORIGINAL definition, as in “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves”. you’re just using the word for whoever slightly pisses you off. “my friend was kinda rude to me yesterday, she’s so narcissistic” IM BEGGING YOU DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND PICK UP A DICTIONARY

#it’s the tiktok brainrot #people are misusing so many medical terms nowadays just for the sake of sounding smart #gaslighting is another example of this #no the starbucks employee wasn’t gaslighting you stop using words you don’t know #tw ableism #npd #(i’m not npd btw but i do feel for people with npd who have to deal with this shit everyday)

[some-pers0n]

Saw a thread on Twitter of "gifts to give a person with ADHD and autism" that was full of stereotypical and quite frankly patronizing items, so here's a list of I (autistic individual) want instead as a gift

Money

Fourteen billion dollars

Free coupon to kill somebody with my teeth

Suitcase full of money

Cool looking rock

Scratching post for me to sink my claws into

An albino elephant

The head of Jeff Bezos mounted on my wall

Uncooked rice

A cup full of blood

100k in cash

#autism #ableism #tw ableism #actually autistic #adhd

[zebulontheplanet]

Just a reminder that people who still live with their parents as adults deserve respect and for you to stop being ableist. There are multiple reasons someone could still live with their parents! From invisible to visible disabilities, finance issues, and more!

Stop using the “well they’re gonna turn into a creep living in their parents basement” punchline! It’s disgusting. STOP. BEING. ABLEIST. STOP. FORGETTING. THE. POOR.

#autism #zebrambles #actually autism #actually autistic #visible disability #invisible disability #neuordiversity #neurodivergent #physical disability #financial issues #society #ableism #tw ableist language #tw ableism #Zebplanet

[neurospicyyy]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

#neurodivergent #adhd #neurospicy #neurodivergence #actually ocd #neurodiversity #neurosparkly #neurospicyyy #asd #autism #disabilities #disorders #ableism #tw ableism #makes me mad #mad #angry rant #annoyed #I’m mad :) #stuttering #motor skills #fidgeting #stimming #eye contact #lazy #comfort object #Eye contact is not a way to tell if someone’s lying #actually adhd #actually neurodivergent #social anxiety

[a-sip-of-milo]

Was watching a documentary type thing with my parents today and one of the scenes showed an athlete visiting some school thing specifically for autistic children.

The entire time, they were shedding light on how hard it was for the parents living with an autistic child, how exhausting and how shameful it is.

Not ONCE did they acknowledge what it must be like for the child to live with autism. They were offering all this support to the people around them and none for the child whatsoever.

Fuck “autism mums”. Fuck parents who make their child’s diagnoses and issues all about them.

#actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #autism #autistic #actually autistic #tw ableism

[identitty-dickruption]

there is a difference between a disabled person saying “in my perfect world, I wouldn’t be disabled”, and someone saying “in my perfect world, disability doesn’t exist”

the first is understandable. being disabled can be really fucking hard. pain is not fun. fatigue is not fun. meltdowns aren’t fun. relying on constant medical intervention is not always great, either. there’s nothing that says a disabled person HAS to love themselves, and it’s not inherently ableist for a disabled person to wish that they were different

the second is eugenics. that’s the long and short of it. you wish disabled people didn’t exist? well we do exist. oh but you wish they didn’t? how do you plan to achieve that, bud? it’s just straight-up eugenics

#tw eugenics #tw ableism #disability

[hussyknee]

People seem to think this is fake because it's written in English. Apart from the racism in believing that Arab doctors and nurses aren't fluent in English (a second or official language for half of Asia), Palestinians have deliberately been addressing their audience in English on every social media, from journalists to children, because they know speaking English to Westerners immediately makes people more human in their eyes. Because language is one of the ways the imperial cultural hegemony conditions us (yes, everyone in the world) to see who qualifies as "people" and who are simply a mass of bodies who were always made to suffer and die. Gazans know this deeply, which is why they have been using English to beg and plead through social media, "We're not numbers! We're not numbers! We're people like you, we speak your language, we deserve to live!" all the while they're systematically slaughtered.

Israeli forces also encircled Al Shifa Hospital yesterday and bombed it for several hours while shooting dead anyone trying to flee including medical staff moving between buildings. Not sure whether it's still continuing because WHO lost all communications with its staff there a few hours after. The last new report said that thirty-nine babies had been removed from the incubators before the power went out. It's extremely unlikely they will survive.

Please understand that these atrocities depend on the war of attrition between governments and public attention. The momentum of public outcry is difficult to sustain through repeated stonewalling and bureaucratic intractability. When we're flooded with these reports and a sense of futility and despair replaces the anger, it allows compassion fatigue to set in and the violence to become normalized. Massacring hospitals, killing sick children and openly targeting humanitarian aid workers (Netanyahu just declared the UNRWA is in league with Hamas) will become simply more news articles that fade into the background, and open genocides will soon become part of the "lesser evil".

Take care of yourselves how you can, take distance where needed, but please never tune out and give up on the two million people for whom we are the only witness and hope. Never stop boosting and sharing the news and posts you find, never stop getting out there and joining every protest you can, however small. Anger burns out, which is why activism must depend on an immovable sense of justice and uncompromising value for human life. It's not just about Gaza, it's about the kind of evil our generation will be coerced into accepting as unchangeable and inevitable hereafter.

#but also like it's a lot about us and especially you in the West #every bomb dropped on Gaza brings us closer to the brink of‚ if not a world war‚ an eruption of regional conflict #with devastating economic and environmental effects across the world #I'm tired of repeating this and my followers are prob tired of seeing it #but someone has to #war of attrition like I said #free Palestine #tw child murder #tw child death #tw baby killing #tw ableism #disability justice #war crimes #gaza genocide #save gaza #gaza under attack #palestinian genocide #israel is a terrorist state #knee of huss

[sunlitmcgee]

the concept of a freakshow never fully went away. nowadays people collect posts/screenshots of disabled/mentally ill people literally just Existing Online and put them on their accounts with the intention of displaying them for people to hurl abuse towards. And they think that this is a Normal and Moral way to behave and carry themselves.

#tw ableism #ask to tag

[schizopositivity]

In case anyone thinks this type of sanism doesn't happen on Tumblr

#tw sanism #tw ableism

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

“Don’t let your disorder define you”

Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?

Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?

Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.

#chronic illness #autism #adhd #intellectual disability #did osdd #personality disorder #cluster a #cluster b #cluster c #cripplepunk #madpunk #neuropunk #tw ableism

[gutsygremlin]

I hate hate hate hate HATE that most of the time when I’m searching for info on autism the results always regard autistic children and are written by allistic adults for allistic parents who hate autistic children

Like I’m just going “hehe hey google do other autistic people sensory seek in carbonated drinks” and Google is like “DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC BABIES REALLY LIKE DRINKING DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC DRINKS LIKE SPRITE AND COKE BECAUSE THEY’RE DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC BABIES!!!!!”

Best friend. The autistic kids you’re writing about so unkindly are going to become adults. And they’re going to be unhappy when they read that shit.

#actually autistic #asd #autism #autizzy #autistic adult #tw ableist language #tw ableism

[theautisticfroglord]

anyways parents who record/post their autistic child having a meltdown are awful people :)

#“but its for awareness!!!!” shut up #there is no excuse #actually autistic #actually autism #meltdown #autistic meltdown #sensory issues #autism #autistic #tw ableism #ableism #autism moms #proship dni #<- this is so those ppl dont interact w this #ik it's unrelated but it's for my safety 🫶

[thexspiral]

Y'all people do not understand how fucking harmful ableism towards systems is. You really do not get it. It fucked me up so bad. My ex partner said straight to my face "Your DID makes me kinda uncomfortable."

I was so open about my system. I was healing. Our amnesia was getting better, we could communicate, trauma wasn't as scary when we were all working together. All of that is gone now and it's because of how my ex partner treated my system.

I can't be open about it anymore. I feel like I have to hide it. I feel disgusting. I feel like no one will love me. I'm scared to switch because I feel like my partner might leave me if I do. My ex made me SCARED to have an already scary disorder.

Ableism is a beast that can destroy people with a single sentence.

#scott rambles #scott vents #vent #did #osdd #system #plural #plurality #multiple #ableism #tw ableism #actually did #ableism tw