#WITH FUCKING CONFIDENCE TOO BRO

[fallingprophetically]

"How could up thirst over some serial killer who would probably kill/hurt you at any point??"

Bruh How would it be any different with any other "man"?? Like at least with these bitches I can fucking see how fucked up they are, they do not fucking hide it behind some fucking mask of shitty kindness or politeness or whatever the fuck and wait till I goddamn leave my drink to fucking drug me or some other fucked up thing shitbags like that do. These fictional serial killers would have more decency and respect than any other "man". Like Jason for example, yeah? That mf be the most respectful bitch. Why? HE WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE MY TITS LET ALONE FUCKING ASSAULT ME CAUSE OF THEM. HE'S OVER THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM AT FUCKING LEAST. EVEN BRAHMS AND BILLY WOULD BE ABOVE THAT FUCKING LINE AND THEY'RE THE PERVERTS OF THE GODDAMN FANDOM. THEY'D HAVE MORE FUCKING DECENCY AND RESPECT THEN SOME OF FUCKERS WHO'D CALL THEMSELVES "MEN" "Ohhh you should start a family😊😊😊" WITH WHO??? THE FUCKING WALL???? LIKE I'D SERIOUSLY HAVE BETTER FUCKING LUCK COMING OUT UN FUCKING HARMED BY SMEARING FUCKING ANIMAL GUTS ALL OVER MY FUCKING BODY AND WALKING THORUGH A FUCKING SAVANAH. "You should have kids, they'd be the best thing to ever happen to you😁😁😁" LIKE I WOULD EVEN WANT TO BE PREGNNT. PREGNANT FEM PRESENTING PEOPLE ARE AT A HIGHER FUCKING RISK OF BEING ASSAULTED THAN NON PREGNENT FEM PRESENTING PEOPLE. AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO BRING A CHILD INTO THIS FUCKED UP WORLD, LET ALONE A FEM ONE. AND WHO'S TO FUCKING SAY I'D EVEN RAISE A GOOD KID??? MY KID COULD EVEN END UP BECOMING PART OF THE FUCKING PROBELEM. Some people are just so fucking oblivious and others are just fucking disgusting.

#I got a slideshow tiktok on my fyp showcasing “men” commenting horrendous fucking shit on fem presenting people's posts #some were fem presenting people sharing shit boys had said to or around them #some of it was so fucked #and some had included fucking KIDS #LIKE HOW COULD SOMEONE SAY THAT KIND OF SHIT???? #WITH FUCKING CONFIDENCE TOO BRO #i went to the godamn sound AND THERE WAS MORE FUCKING TIKTOKS FUCKING LIKE THAT ONE #i'm so fucking pissed off #like kids #FUCKING KIDS BRO #WHO SAYS THAT KIND OF SHIT??? #this isn't the kind of world I wanted to live in #let alone bring kinds into #and it's all over the fucking world too #there's no goddamn escape #not all men #but which ones then #cuz i just fucking want to be able to be fucking safe #this world is so fucked #sorry #i think i just needed to rant or vent or whatever the fuck #the wosre part (to me) is the countless young ones who think murder is the worse that could happen #in such a fucked up way #i would prefer that #cuz i already lived through some shit #and i don't think i could again #but i feel so bad that i think the young ones should think like this too #i dont fear death #and i think they should too #cuz theres always something so much worse

[bearfeathers]

i love that scene where francis actually decides to be the teensiest bit vulnerable with james by telling him he's there because sophia asked it of him. because james, instead of being understanding or anything, hits him with the "miss cracroft who rejected you, twice as i heard it?" and when francis, clearly bothered, responds with "you discussed this?" there's this little pause where you know james is just fucking sitting there like

#the terror #amc the terror #james fitzjames #francis crozier #fitzier #it makes me laugh really hard sorry #he's so fucking awkward trying to walk it back too #like just digging himself a deeper hole #no bro he was just confiding in me fr that's all we weren't making fun of you don't be mad bro pls

[leafeater-dilflover]

someone should make a compilation of rhys darby mispronouncing things. it would be hours long bc a good 10-20 minutes of any episode of the cryptid factor is just rhys struggling to pronounce things. and beyond the podcast there’s just so many other examples!! i would do it myself but i’m too lazy

#rhys darby #the cryptid factor #i love the way he speaks #and when he laughs at the way he can’t pronounce things #and it’s simple things too!!! #i was just listening to an episode of the cryptid factor and he was reading an article and struggling to pronounce meager #so he spelled it out #and buttons and dan were like… that spells meager 🤨 #god he’s such a fucking idiot sometimes i love him #ep2 he said polo instead of polio with the confidence of… well himself #lmaooo #and david was just like ??? #bro u okay?? #and he’ll just make up new words all the time cause he can’t be arsed to pronounce something correctly l #my post

[elegyofthemoon]

MORE GUSH PASS FOR YOU BC YOU'VE BEEN ENJOYING THEM SO MUCH AND I'VE BEEN ENJOYING READING THEM!!! 🎟️🎟️🎟️

also thank u for ur tags on the kylilah wedding fic i'm ;A; waAaAaAAAA meliora crying.png ilysm

TY I LOVE YOU and i love abusing these gush passes so much when i'm like "i need to write a whole essay right now to express my feelings or i will set myself on fire" so guess what you're about to get.

But anyhows~ of course!! ^7^ kylilah wedding fic was just so cute how could I resist reading all of it and commenting? the writing was just so beautiful and so perfect ;; v;;

I accidentally went off to Sophia about Birthright!Leo specifically and yes, sure, I haven't touched Fates in a while (last time I did I'm pretty sure it was for. March? OR FOR LEO'S BIRTHDAY ACTUALLY.), and I genuinely thought I forgot everything tbh because of fixation on coughs Other Matters coughs but talking to Sophia and watching myself slip a bunch of thoughts made me go "ohhhh oh no you're still insane about Fates and Leo specifically... cool cool cool cool-"

Something that'll always come to mind when it comes to Leo is just how much internal conflict the guy must have with feeling like he has to Fit A Specific Function to matter to anyone but also wanting to have someone to talk to - someone who wouldn't put him down for being "weak." And when the "fitting a specific function" is the "reliable one" or the "strong one", then it becomes hard to really allow himself a chance to really allow himself to be vulnerable. He basically creates his own issues this way and it sucks more because I feel like this only gets worse for Birthright!Leo who later becomes king and now the whole country's relying on him. Like how does that play out for a guy with his whole complex exactly?

There was a "work in progress" fic that I had wanted to write that basically was supposed to be a snapshot of his life growing up, following after him and this Need to be Needed, coming from his time with his mom and the way I thought about how she must have raised him and how that plays into who he is today, but I think that fic got shot up in flames due to New Knowledge Acquired That Made Me Want To Stab the Fic With a Knife. normal. real normal snow. Which I will not get into because I actually didn't finish the whole context because I was just eheh~ a littleeee~ mad but that's fine lmao we're fine lolololol we're totally cool 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼(sobbing on the floor)

He's very fun to write for this reason though. Finding ways to balance out between this internal struggle at a given situation makes him very very attractive to write lol At least I try my best to do so anyhow haha I don't necessarily feel that my writing does him a disservice, but I do feel like it borders between weighing in too much into certain aspects of his character instead of holding the true weight he has, but that's a conflict I'm willing to put up with if it means getting to explore his character a little more in my head lmao

And sorry to track back, but I also think a lot about like. the affection with his family. I think a lot about how in his support with Corrin and Camilla, he expresses how much he wished to have the same attention that Corrin does; he just isn't sure how to do it unless the emotions were bubbling from his mouth and he speaks at a breaking point, to which he'll try to mend it with a "Apologies. That was unlike me. Anyways-" and tries to move onto something else LITERALLY JUST TALK DUDE!!!!!! COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU NEED!!!!!!!!!!

But he doesn't. He doesn't because time's told him that if he voices his own weakness he will get punished for it. It's something that I had contemplated specifically about how he was raised by his mom, and only to find out that that is also something he was raised to believe within the royal family (via the voice drama that I had to actually stop watching because I was just sad). He can't allow himself to be weak because he is always expected to be strong.

And for that reason, the name "Leo" is very fitting for him, I think. There's a really really good fanartist's comic on his name and it definitely contributed to the way I appreciate his naming and temporarily served as inspiration for the way I was going to take the fic, but you know. Didn't go anywhere.

I also just wish he knew he was loved. It's very clear his family loves him, but the way he was raised misconstrues this "love" for "shame". Yes we all tease Leo because he's so strict on himself and it's nice to see him have little flaws here and there. We poke fun at it and all, but how does that feel for Leo who's probably had his flaws shamed most if not all his life? It's the reason why he's so strict on himself after all, and they wonder why it is he's so strict on himself.

Anyways. Long story short, and quite the winding road, I love Leo's character a lot. I kinda forgot how much I did until Sophia and my conversation kinda wandered over to Fates talk and then Leo and I had to sit down and cry for like. Several paragraphs apparently about it

And the thing is, I'm not exactly sure if this is all intentional writing or if I just fixated so hard and made stuff up that this is the version that makes the most sense to me for his character. At the very least, all of this serves as the backbone to the way I write him. And as I said: it's very fun :)

But anyways, TY for the ask

#anyways this is all stream of conscious by the way. theres no structure to this i just let myself maul the ask #because i couldn't hold myself back #now imagine if i had the confidence to talk about current interests bro. if i had that confidence i would become God :) #but no~ alas the heavens have nerfed me with social anxiety #it is only when i'm REALLY feeling it that i have little moments of slipping into godhood weehee 🤭🤭 #answered #sowwy friend ik u rb my gushes but not this one im scared LOL #tullaytullahs #i need to find a way to save this for myself too #mostly so i can go back and look at it and go 'sir what the fuck are you talking about'

[nspolaris]

read the sunshine court and have never been more impatient in needing a second book my god

#tsc #tsc spoilers #tagging bc im talking in the tags but holy fuck im ngl i came into the book as a jerejean shipper but now im shipping him with EVERYONE #him and renee were so sweet god i cant #him taking her photo and thinking about rainbows 😭 #but also excited for my man Jeremy bc he's got layersTM like an onion #need to know why he doesn't like his family and if he ever confides in Jean to convince Jean to confide in him #but also them oggling each other was hilarious #jean said his name once and had jeremy kicking his feet and twirling his hear #jean's braim shutting off whenever jeremy is shirtless avdhdj #need them to get together but i love Jean and his story and im so glad i reread aftg before reading this book #obsessed with jerejean as individuals and i love how much Jean appreciates the othrler Trojans #GAAAAH #also heart was in my ass when Grayson attacked Jean and thank god my boy neil sent out a hit on that fucker #also people realizing neil looks insane to other people like um yes...literally everytime he opens his mouth even in his POV #he says some scary shit bro 💀 #adding more tags bc i forgot to talk about kevin but i also can't get over their angst its just so good #their time together at evermore and jean teaching him french only for it to be the used against him by accident #they're too fucked up to ever really be friends again but they've both got their own support systems now #thinking about them meeting to do the interview ... chewing on glass #i have to go ravage ao3 now

[mooseonahunt]

If I make a grammatical error/typo/write a sentence that doesn’t make sense in English, that’s because my first language is Spanish.

But if I do any of that in Spanish, it’s because my main language is English.

I’m covering all my bases i am without fault I’m so so very flawed and I butcher both languages so horrendously

#someone corrected my Spanish in a fic when I was so confident I wrote/said everything correctly #and it was basic stuff too so now I’m wondering what other stuff I fucked up #and also why nobody has ever corrected me before?? I speak Spanish EVERY DAY and nobody is telling me #when I am saying things wrong or how to correctly use phrases/words #I appreciate the person who corrected me so much #but I am also mortified because BRO SPANISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE THIS IS EMBARRASSING FOR ME

[cinnabeat]

i should catch up with twsb.......

#and also tcf #tcf id have to reread from the beginning #like the first book beginning bc i need to refamiliarize myself with whatever the fuck is going on in the second book #twsb is just a matter of putting aside every scrap of embarrassment i feel and just reading #alas jesse is just so.......everything he does is so #i cant even explain it hes just So #its a nightmare reading him do anything with full confidence while you the reader know otherwise #even worse that its 1st person pov like bro. BRO. #actually tcf i stopped reading partially bc i was confused and also didnt want to wait for weekly updates but ALSO bc the lack of alberu was #devastating to me #i miss him #truly my blorbo from that book lmao #anyways ill catch up to twsb eventually............. #you know what else i need to catch up on.....natsuyuu................ #the next season of the anime is gonna happen too i need to brush up on it #i also need to clean my room but thats not relevant LMAO #michi tag

[whynotimtired]

Omg I was so distressed by the fact that they were playing When Its Cold I'd Like to Die at all that I completely forgot to think about the fact that they played it when will died in s1 and Joyce and hopper brought him back and now when max died and El brought her back

#stranger things spoilers #st4 spoilers #will byers #max mayfield #el hopper #i just rewatched the scene to make sure cause i have anxiety abt saying the wrong thing and i literally started sobbing like immediately #ANYWYA #fuck bro oh my god #that shit was so fucking sad #no literally its been like five minutes since i wrote that last tag im still crying bro #i dont waaannaaaa swimmmn #FUCK dude #anyway this mostly means like. narratively she will probably come back #to complete the parallel #they were both the last episode of the season too. methinks.....i am right #unbridled confidence for NO reason kcnzjdbs #me

[soopysoap]

bailey brainrot

#yes #thinking abt bailey and gender identity #and like very shyly asking if it would be ok for sage to refer to them with they/them pronouns too a little bit into their relationship #and being super sheepish abt it at first but slowly becoming more confident as more of his friends accept this without question #even tho he still hasnt told liam abt it yet but he doesnt think liam has to know anyway #also thinking abt senior year bailey just literally never going anywhere without headphones #and how music was his fucking LIFELINE at the time #totally projecting but bro was rocking 100k+ mins every spotify wrapped #and again totally projecting but senior year bailey was fs not passionate about much EXCEPT FOR music #get him started and he will Not stop #also slapping down out of nowhere that he skateboarded in hs. just because i feel like it is a very bailey thing to be skateboarding around #town with his headphones drowning out the rest of the world #that was def his transition from high on drugs & disconnected from reality to disconnected from reality but with music as a constant source #of distraction to just being a lot more grounded as an adult #guys. i love bailey. #ocs

[dallasstarsdyke]

narc supply pinterest board save me

#im doing Bad #why so confident the self hater #i keep thinjing of brand new shit too #'yr fat' bro you had to dust some neural pathways off to even think of that. are you good #'my art looks like ass they probably only put it up because im nice' #< guy who would usually describe himself as good at academics but not that nice (?) #and of fucking course i left my painting at school and cant work on it the whole weekend unless i figure something out at the art show tmrw #i hate it here

[chososlilprincess]

Virgin Choso who doesnt know why he feels hot one day when he looks at you, something twitching in his pants and his face turns pink from…embarrassment? He doesnt understand these new feelings that come with having a human body, and he doesn’t know why he’s reluctant to ask someone about it. Not you atleast, he couldn’t ask you. What if you thought he was weird? or creepy? why does he even care? he’s never cared about silly things like what others think of him.

When he eventually confides in his younger brother Yuji, he tells him something he can’t pick whether is terrifying or exciting. “its normal bro, you just like her,” he tells him like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and when you like somebody they often make you feel uh…horny,” Yuji said grinning. Choso gets more and more embarrassed as Yuji tells him the basics of the birds and the bees.

Now Choso was in his bed, rock hard in his underwear after thinking about you for a little too long. He thought of what Yuji told him to do when his cock starts feeling weird, he had to ‘jerk off’ which his brother had told him would ’help the ache in his dick but make his feelings for you worse’

Choso sighed and reached a hand down to touch his cock, not yet reaching into his underwear. He sucked in a breath, it was terribly sensitive. pathetic.

He thought about you as he rubbed himself with his hand, thought about how you look when you laugh, about your pretty fucking eyes. The prettiest ones he’d ever seen in his almost 200 years of living. He shudders, and when he looks down again there’s a wet spot forming in his underwear, right where his tip was placed.

He feels dirty, he feels like a pervert. Thinking about his pretty friend while doing something so nasty. It feels wrong. But he needs it, he craves it.

He reluctantly pulls down his boxers, watching as his cock springs up, and it hurts. He thinks of you again, about that one time you stumbled over your own feet, and put your pretty little hand on his chest so you wouldn’t fall.

He touches his tip and he whines. fuck. it’s red and sensitive and little beads of what he assumes is pre cum, leaks out.

He starts playing with himself, grasping his length softly and stroking it once. He lifts up his tshirt and puts it in his mouth, to not make too much noice. it feels so fucking good already.

He begins stroking it slowly. up and down, just doing what feels good. He spits in his hand and brings it back to his cock to continue jerking off. He whimpers.

He’s so desperate for you to like him, for you to touch him, for him to be yours. And for you to be his. He closes his eyes, and he pictures you next to him, your smaller hand replacing his own, stroking him, telling him you love him. He thinks about kissing your pretty lips, holding your cute face in his hands. He thinks about being inside you,

his dick twitches as he groans, spilling his sticky load on his stomach while his whole body shakes. He stares at his mess, breathing heavily while he comes down from his high.

fuck. He wants you so bad, he needs you.

and Yuji was right, the ache in his now softening dick is gone, but the ache in his heart only got worse.

part two here

#choso kamo x reader #choso kamo smut #choso kamo x you #kamo choso x reader #choso fluff #choso smut #choso x you #jjk choso #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #choso x reader #choso x female reader #choso x gn reader

[aoifereal]

Went to Thorpe park today and some like 13 or 14 year old teenage boy kept finding me and my friend in queues and rudely asking me shit like "are you a boy or a girl" then laughing with his friends. One time he was doing this for a few minutes while we waited for the saw ride and I kept giving stupid answers like "I don't know, what do you think?" or "does it matter if we're all going to be killed by him in a few minutes?" or whatever and this clearly isn't the response he's trying to get out of me so he pulls back to his group of friends and they lean over the bannister away from us and confer in hushed tones for like 5 seconds before he re-approaches me, confidence returned, and asks "do you have a willy?" like it's the ultimate slam dunk. Funniest shit I've ever seen me and tanner cracked up and didn't stop laughing for like a whole minute

#aoiferealposting #gender feels #cw transphobia #it was so fucking funny they were so confident about it too 😭 #and like they think they have social power because im a transgender or w/e and they totally would if they were adult men i would have been #scared. but youre a teenager bro youre just c #deeply pathetic

[alethonym]

unbelievable how many things are clicking into place. i can't put them into words right now though there's too many and they're slippery

#my stuff #adding on as i collect: #feeling like I'm barred from my own sexuality #not remembering events and needing people to remind me #lifelong identity issues #the way my ex literally lives in my head rent free and i thought it was twin flame telepathy or something. ngl i still believe in telepathy #like just in general being able to communicate with people in vibes but. that's beside the point here i think #back to the point: my strategies of coping with bad situations being basically 'whatever I'll just dissociate' #so called intrusive thoughts but they're really just like advice or jokes or whatever sometimes a lil scary too but yeah #NOT EVER FEELING CONFIDENT STATING ANYTHING ABOUT MY BELIEFS OR ATTRIBUTES BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS CHANGE............... #the fucking literal maps i used to draw like bro... #i didn't think it was MINE i thought it was like a spiritual structure of the universe or Something. very embarrassing. #sorry for putting it all out here like this. i just want it available later #also i just deleted my tags on another post without really thinking about it but literally yesterday i was still talking about how i #'see myself as one person its just a loose definition of what an identity is' like i tie my identity to the body no matter what #that's another thing like. that time i learned to Trust the Body above all else #i didn't really understand why i was even having trouble with something like that #but also i somehow thought it was normal #more or less #feeling like i was a different person based on who i was talking to. i thought i was just masking autism or like idk mirroring y'know #looking for ways to talk 'to myself' and i had a requirement that it needed to have an option to reply like a friend in a chat could #like just messaging myself wasn't good enough #looking back it's so... like.. this makes a LOT of sense #THE WAY THAT FILLING OUT PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENTS FEELS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INTOLERABLE #like i can do a basic one because. we have learned. but it's torturous overall #some of our past experiences with 'synchronicity' taking on a whole new meaning .. #definitely there's still god and magic involved though #in some but not all instances of synchronicity

[mrfoox]

Team: accidentally flirts with people and give them the wrong idea/get myself into spicy situations I wasn't prepared for

#miranda talking shit #Its bc i think its a joke. I cant seriously see anyone being intrested with me #So i can talk big... But then someone acts and im like bro.... You actually want to touch me? #What the fuck.....? Hsjfmmvlslskf and then idk hkw to act or react #Bc at one hand its nice but im not prepared and then i can end up in situations im not actually ok with #Im apperantly great at (fake) flirting. Im used to doing it and have since i was 13 but the older i get the more i realize #I shouldn't do it ... To me it's fun man. The few times i can seem confident and say shit is when i think its a joke #As soon as shit gets REAL i freak out bc it goes against my beliefs. Why would you want to touch me? Im hideous #But then again i do kinda enjoy starting shit... Or rather. Ill push others to start shit #The amount of times ive said things bc i want to see others reactions are too many... I #Am so into people's reactions i love them. As long as theyre not negative then yeah too bad #My autism is at play again i believe... I just want to see reactions and faces and hear voices that arent the normal ones #I always give strong af reactions but havent met anyone who gives them back so i get anything im like 👀! #I really start shit with words but wont ever do so with action bc then i can step over lines man #Only time it worked when i really wanted it to but assumed it wouldn't was with oliver #I really wasnt going to do anything but then i saw him acting different so i was like (: lets see what happens if i say this! #And then i blush and get embarrassed bc he escalated it. I would have loved to get that situation back bc it was so fun

[likeumeanit9497]

the re-do | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: y/n participates in the triplets' "dirty q&a" video, where she accidentally infers that her experience losing her virginity to matt back in high school had been mediocre. instead of taking offence, matt makes it his mission to show her just how much he has improved since then.

warnings: SMUT; established friendship; m/f oral; unprotected p in v; dirty talk; 18+

notes: hi guys! this is my first ever one shot so pls be gentle with me (i'm genuinely so terrified to post this). it has absolutely NOT been proof read forgive me, but i hope you all enjoy <333

“Guys why am I actually nervous to film this?” Nick proclaimed from his place in the backseat of the car beside me. “No I am genuinely so scared right now.” Replied Chris from the seat in front of me as he began passing out our respective orders from McDonalds.

“We can’t act nervous or else the fans are gonna go even crazier than they already will.” Added Nick as Matt adjusted the camera on the dash. “You’re sure you’re gonna be able to handle the inevitable shit talking that’s gonna come from all this?” Matt asked as he turned to face me in the back. I took a deep breath but nodded. “The more they see me the more desensitized they’ll be. They’ll have to eventually get over it.”

As one of the triplet’s closest girl friends, I had been on the receiving end of a fair amount of hate from their fangirls on the internet. Because I had known them since elementary school, I had been a part of many of their earlier videos when their fans had still been pretty chill about our friendship. But over the past year, a new wave of younger fans had found the videos and had made it their life mission to publicly bash me any chance that they could. It became too much when, a few months ago, one of them decided to spread a rumour that Chris and I had slept together based on nothing other than strategically edited clips of us smiling at each other. It was then that the guys and I had made the decision to keep me as out of the public eye as possible.

However, the guys had sat me down last week to explain how fed up they were with how restricted they felt they had been in their content. They wanted to make an attempt at reclaiming a fandom built primarily of viewers closer to our age, and they thought that the best way to try that was to ignore the petty complaints and make content that they wanted to make. So, since I had been staying with them in Los Angeles for the month, I had agreed to not only be in one of their regular videos, but I had agreed to be in their ‘dirty q&a’ video. I couldn’t lie, I was a bit nervous, but mostly I was excited that my friends were finally confident enough to make videos with more extreme topics.

“Alright guys, ya’ll ready?” Chris asked, intaking a sharp breath while his hand hovered over the record button on the camera. We all responded with a falsely enthusiastic “ready!”, and the camera was turned on.

“Alright, first question,” Nick began after his long-winded introduction filled with disclaimers and explanations for their change in content. “How many people have you slept with?” Already with the first question, it was obvious that the guys were tentative about answering. “Bro I don’t know, next question.” Chris responded, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “What do you mean by ‘I don’t know’ Chris?” Asked Matt tauntingly. “I mean I haven’t fucking kept track of everyone I’ve slept with.” He responded bluntly, before realizing how bad that had sounded. We all, however, erupted into laughter immediately. “Okay okay it’s not that bad guys I swear, I just have a bad memory is all.” He attempted to remedy his previous answer, but all three of us continued to laugh.

“Matt, how about you?” Asked Nick, to which Matt simply held up five fingers to the camera. “Same with me.” Nick agreed before turning to me. “Y/n? Spill it.” I rolled my eyes before answering truthfully. “Seven.” I shrugged, and I caught Matt’s smiley eyes through the rear view mirror.

“Alright next question is…” Chris was scrolling through the responses to their Instagram threads. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Sixteen” We all responded in unison, and immediately buckled over in laughter. “Not all at once though ya’ll.” Nick explained through his laughter, while mine and Matt’s eyes flew open and Chris’ laugh turned into hysterics. “Well…” Chris began before he was cut short by the three of us telling him to shut up. “I’m definitely gonna have to cut that one out. Sorry you two fools, I kind of set him up there.” Nick rolled his eyes as he looked between Matt and I.

Ironically enough, the fans had been half right in their rumour about Chris and I sleeping together. I had slept with one of the triplets before, but it wasn’t Chris.

When we were sixteen, Matt and I had decided that we wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It had been a no-strings-attached decision, and our friendship thankfully never wavered after it was done. Both Nick and Chris had already lost theirs that same year, and we had both just kind of wanted to get it over with. Obviously, this piece of information was known only by Matt and I, and of course Chris and Nick since they had barged into the room while we were in bed together. Even though the vindictive side of me would love to have the fans know this piece of information and shatter their dreams, I knew that the fallout would be an absolute nightmare.

“Okay let’s see…” I had been handed Nick’s phone to choose a question to answer and was scrolling through my options. “Here’s a simple one. Favourite position? Mine’s speed bump for sure.” I placed the phone down, satisfied with my confident answer, only to be met with multiple pairs of confused eyes. “I beg your pardon? The fuck is speed bump?” Asked Nick as he took his phone back. “The one where you’re kinda just lying flat on your stomach with the guy behind you. Trust me it’s chef’s kiss.” I responded simply. Chris’ facial expression turned from confusion to one of understanding. “Ohhh yeah that’s a good one.” He replied as he dapped me up. “Great, gonna have to edit that out too unless you want the rumours to get really bad again.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. “Shit, sorry Nick.” Chris said, giggling slightly.

“Let’s just move on.” Matt said as he began scrolling on his own phone. “Best and worst sexual experiences.” He read off of his screen. There was a moment of silence while we all thought of our answers. “I had a girl throw up on my dick once. The problem is I don’t know if that makes it the worst or the best though.” Said Chris, earning a loud groan from each of us. “You’re sick.” Replied Matt, giving his brother a disgusted look.

“I mean I guess the worst sex would probably be my first time right? Like that makes sense right?” Asked Nick in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Chris’ confession, to which I nodded in agreed response without thinking. I caught Matt’s eyes in the rearview mirror again, this time seeing them filled with a pleading expression. Realizing what I had done, I silently prayed to the universe that my action would go unnoticed by the others. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, my head nod didn’t make it past Chris, which was made incredibly clear when he mumbled to Nick behind his hand that was hiding his smiling mouth from the camera.

“Did you see that?” He asked, and Nick looked confused so he continued, “Y/n agreed with you about her first time.” He managed to get out before erupting into laughter at the expense of his brother. Matt threw his hands up in the air once Nick joined Chris in his giggling, and I winced from my place in the backseat; also mouthing an apology to Matt’s reflection in the mirror.

“Bro come on it was my first time! I guarantee you were trash your first time too.” Matt said in an attempt to repair his ego as he threw his empty cup at Chris. “Maybe so, but I don’t have the girl who I lost it to here in the car to confirm it.” Chris snarked back, playfully nudging Matt’s shoulder. “We all gotta start somewhere dude.” He added when Matt didn’t respond. As Nick continued choking on his own laughter, Matt crossed his arms and stared out the window, very clearly wishing he was anywhere but there in that moment.

“Okay okay,” Nick began catching his breath. “We need to cool it because 90% of that what we just filmed is completely unusable. Let’s please just try to make it through this video without exposing Matt and Y/n’s bumpy sexual history again.” He pleaded as he began scrolling through his phone to find new questions.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

“God, that was rough.” Said Chris as we all climbed out of the parked car. We had finally finished the video. It took us an hour to film, and would still be edited down to just twenty minutes of content where we weren’t exposing big secrets or directly fuelling past rumours.

“At least it’s done. It might be a while before I ever want to do that again.” Nick responded as he opened the garage door leading into their house. “Agreed.” Added Matt from behind me as we climbed the stairs to the main level. We all walked over to the fridge to grab drinks, as if the beverages would clean our dirty mouths.

“Alright,” Chris began after a hefty chug from his Pepsi, “I’m going to my room. Matt, Nick, get on Fortnite with me.” He began descending the stairs. “I’ll get on once I shower Chris. I have a desperate need to scrub this FILTH off of my body.” Replied Nick, and he began walking towards the stairs leading to his bedroom. “Y/n, come upstairs whenever you want to go to sleep and I’ll get off the game.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared at the top of the stairs.

Matt and I were left alone in the kitchen, him sitting at the table and me sitting on top of the counter in between the stove and the fridge. Swinging my legs carelessly, I decided to break the silence first. “I’m really sorry about all of that in the car Matt. I didn’t mean it.” He looked up at me and chuckled. “Yes you did, and it’s not a big deal. I know I wasn’t great back then.” He responded before taking a drink from his can. I smiled softly at his response but decided to leave it be. There was no use in trying to deny it. The sex was just boring, short, and awkward; the way that most first times are. At least he didn’t take any offence to it.

“You know,” He began after a few moments of silence, his eyes shooting to mine as he stood up from his place at the kitchen table. “I’ve gotten much better.” A playful smirk travelled to his lips as he began walking towards my frozen figure on the counter. He stopped just a few short centimetres away from me, so close that I could reach out and touch any part of him that I wanted. I couldn’t tell if he was fucking with me, until I felt his early signs of arousal press lightly against my knee.

My throat was dry, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Even though Matt and I had slept together when we were younger, the dynamic was much different than now. The proposition came about awkwardly, and we were a fumbling mess with very little understanding of how it felt to be aroused. But in this moment, I was very very aroused just from this conversation.

In my silence, he placed a firm hand on my hip, rubbing his thumb across it gently. “I can do just about anything. Just let me know how you want it and I can give it to you.” My stomach did a somersault at his words, and I felt my panties dampen. He used his free hand to push my legs apart so that he could stand in between them, and my limp hands subconsciously moved up to grab onto his shoulders. At the first sign of my willingness, Matt quickly leaned forward and peppered soft, teasingly slow kisses along my neck. His lips travelled up to my ear, where he bit the lobe playfully before whispering, “Well, tell me. How do you want me Y/n?”

His words caused me to clench on nothing and I nearly moaned from the anticipation. With him still waiting on my response I whispered back, “You can do anything you want to me, Matty.”

Without missing a beat, he attacked my lips with his own and I melted from the immediate relief. I moved my hands from his shoulders up to the base of his head, and as his tongue danced along with mine I pulled gently at his messy hair; my own mouth filling with a moan falling from his lips. His right hand traveled up my grey hoodie to find that I had nothing on underneath, and he lightly brushed the bottom of my left tit with his thumb. Suddenly his hands moved from under my shirt and gripped my ass as he effortlessly lifted me off the counter and into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stumbled towards his bedroom.

Once inside the undisturbed room, he placed me down on his desk, my ass hitting the mouse and causing the computer to turn on; casting a light on the otherwise dark room. He wasted no time in removing my hoodie, leaning me back slightly so he could easily twirl his tongue along each nipple. I hummed in pleasure from the warm, wet sensation of his mouth connecting to my skin, and brought my hand down in between our bodies to softly run my hand up and down his clothed hardness. After a few moments, he pushed my hand away and dropped to his knees in between my legs.

Pulling my grey sweats off my body and pushing my thong to the side in one quick motion, Matt took a moment to relish in my swollen, dripping hole. “I don’t remember you being this wet for me last time.” He smirked as he looked up at me with blown out pupils. “Let’s see if you taste the same.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head at his filthy words, and a moan slipped from between my lips as his mouth made sloppy contact with my sensitive bud. I subconsciously grabbed onto the back of his head, suffocating him with my heat as he continued to suck and kiss my clit. As his tongue worked on my nerves, he released a guttural moan that vibrated against my heat, causing my back to arch at the intense feeling.

When we had done this all of those years before, Matt’s movements were lacking in confidence. He had fumbled around my clit blindly, and had ate me out cautiously as if he was afraid of hurting me. Now, this Matt had clearly gained experience, as my stomach was already beginning to fill with the familiar pressure from the build up of an orgasm once I watched him find all of my most sensitive spots; his eyes blissfully closed.

Suddenly, he pulled his mouth away from my heat and I groaned at the loss of contact. He straightened his body back up to my level and brought his face so close to mine that our noses were touching. “Kiss me. I want you to know how good you taste.” He whispered through his glistening bright red lips. More on fire than I had ever been in my life, I immediately attached my open mouth to his, moaning at the distinct taste of my sweet arousal on his tongue. As we deepened the kiss, his fingers found my heat and he ran two of them up and down my folds to collect my wetness before slamming them into my cunt; finding my spongey g-spot on the first pump with his curled fingers.

My head rolled back, lost in the euphoric feeling of his fingers filling me up, and he watched my facial expressions intently as the wet sounds of my upcoming orgasm filled the space between us. “Holy fuck, Matt.” I slurred, my voice coming out choppy as his fingers continued to relentlessly pound into me; never losing contact with that one spot that drove me crazy. “I-I’m gonna-” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the very beginning of my orgasm roll over my body.

Suddenly, all of his movements stopped and my eyes shot open out of frustration. In the time since my eyes had screwed shut, his own had darkened in arousal. My body trembled from the sudden halt in its pleasure, and he smirked at me. “You want to cum, sweetheart?” He asked, his kind words a harsh paradox to his sinister expression. Still, I nodded eagerly to which he pulled his fingers out of me completely before leaning up and placing his wet mouth right against my ear.

“You’re gonna fucking wait for me.”

I attempted to squeeze my legs together to take some pressure off of my throbbing, unsatisfied core as his vulgar words scrambled my brain, before he pulled me off the desk and pushed my head down so that I was now the one on my knees. Confused, I looked up to find him gazing down at me. He gestured towards his clothed member. “Go ahead.” I grinned slyly.

My turn.

I had made an attempt at giving him head the first time we had sex. Just like him, I had struggled with confidence due to the sole fact that I had no clue what I was doing. Since then, I had had plenty of practice, and I was excited to now be the one to show him my improvements.

I grabbed onto the waist band of his pyjama pants and pulled them down to his knees. With only his tight red boxer shorts covering it now, the outline of his thick cock and the small wet spot at its tip from his pre-cum made my mouth water. I brought my mouth up to the skin on his lower stomach, right above the Calvin Klein logo on his boxers, and began peppering excruciatingly slow kisses along the light sprinkling of hair there. I glanced up at him through my eyelashes to find him peering down at me with curious lust, his mouth open slightly and his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

After a short while, I grabbed his boxers and pulled them down to meet his pants at his knees. His hardened cock smacked his stomach on its release from the tight material, where it left a wet patch from his pre-cum. Grabbing it with my left hand, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth and stared up at him as I let it all drip down his swollen member. After pumping my hand for a few strokes, I placed only the tip in my mouth as I watched his eyes dilate. I swirled my tongue teasingly along the swollen tip, tasting the the saltiness of his fluid. Eventually, I began pumping my hand up and down his shaft in rhythm with my head bobbing along the top half of his cock. He shifted on his feet at the new sensation and let his head fall back. I kept my pace agonizingly lazy, knowing that it would drive him crazy.

With my tongue, I licked a strip from the base of his ball sack, up his shaft, and to his tip, earning a hushed whimper from his lethargic mouth before he grabbed my hair and shifted his hips. Looking down at me and holding my head firmly in place, he began thrusting his hips as he kept me still. He started slow, but when he realized that I could take more his pace began to pick up and his cock began to hit deep in my throat. I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes, and saliva began to drip down my chin. “Fuck you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He grunted out through each thrust. I lifted my hand to cup his balls, giving them gentle squeezes that seemed to send him towards his climax.

As a moan fell from his lips, he pulled my head back so that his dripping cock sprung free before he got the chance to fill my mouth with his cum. He stood there for a moment with his eyes closed taking deep breaths as if he was fighting the urge to finish right then, before he opened his eyes and gazed down at me. “Get on the bed.”

I pulled myself up off the ground and, on shaky legs, walked over to his bed with him following close behind. Once I reached the edge of the bed he stopped me, turning me around to face him and pushing me down so I would sit. “Put your feet on the bed and pull your knees up to your chest.” He commanded, and I did as I was told, albeit I was a bit confused. “Good girl.” He praised me as he pulled me right up to the edge of the bed before pushing my legs further apart.

Placing one of his knees on the bed beside me, he lined his cock up with my entrance; rubbing it tantalizingly along my wetness. Placing one arm around my waist to brace my body, he slowly pushed his cock inside of me right there on the edge of the bed. His trusts were slow but harsh, and the position he had placed us in made it so that my cervix was barrelled into each time his hips met mine. He placed his sweat-coated forehead against my collar bone and released small breathless grunts with each deep thrust. “So fucking good Matt. Oh god.” I whined as his pace began to increase in speed. He planted his teeth into my shoulder as we fell back onto the bed; his body now completely on top of mine as he continued to drive into me.

He lifted his head and looked fixedly at my fucked out face, his eyes glossed over in erotic pleasure. With this visual, I was brought back to the first time we had fucked, in a position so similar to this one. His rhythm was slower and much more tentative, and we were both certainly much less pleasing to the other, but still I suddenly got hit with a wave of recognition in how much we had both grown since then.

I was pulled out of my trance by Matt’s commanding voice. “Move back real quick and get on your stomach.” I did as I was told, feeling the emptiness that came from his dick sliding out of my soaking wet pussy. Assuming he wanted me in doggy, I got on my knees and arched my back; my head and shoulders pressed firmly against the soft mattress. I felt the bed move as he climbed on all the way, and in a moment of animalistic desperation I pushed my needy cunt subconsciously back to meet heat of his cock.

“No.” He stated simply, his veiny hands massaging my ass. Confused, I looked over my shoulder as I waited for him to explain. He had an ominous smile as he moved his gaze from my fully exposed cunt to my face. “I wanna see if your favourite position is really worth the hype.” He used his hands on my ass to push it down flat to the bed before adjusting himself so that he could line up correctly. Still looking over my shoulder with glazed eyes, I watched his expression as his cock sunk into my core once again. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyelashes fluttered slightly from the new sensation that the position gave him as he bottomed out. “Oh fuck.” His eyes were fully shut now as he stayed still for a moment. Small beads of sweat traveled down his stomach as I took in the beauty of the man who was making me feel so so good.

Getting turned on even more just from Matt’s visual pleasure, my walls clenched subconsciously and I whined, “Please keep going Matty.” His eyes snapped open and landed on mine, before he leaned forward — one hand beside my head and the other planted firmly to the small of my back — and began pounding into me relentlessly.

The depth of this position allowed me to feel every inch of his cock, and it became impossible to keep the moans and strings of profanity from escaping my lips. This seemed to be the case for Matt too, as over the sounds of my own moans and the wet sounds of our bodies connecting, I could hear the gruff throaty moans of his own pleasure. “Fuck. You’re so fucking tight Y/n.” Even though I was aware that we were both making far too much noise that Chris and Nick would definitely hear, I couldn’t get myself to bring it to Matt’s attention, as the animalistic vocalization of his indulgence was bringing me closer and closer to my climax.

“I-I need to cum Matty.” I managed to vocalize as my nerves began to unravel. “Hold it. Want you to cum with me.” He responded, leaning even further forward so that his body was practically lying on top of mine. He took a free hand and wrapped it around my throat, lightly squeezing the sides as my pleasure became dangerously close to bubbling over.

“P-Please cum for me. I can’t hold it anymore.” I begged, digging my nails into his silk bedsheets and feeling my walls quiver each time he drove his cock into my cervix. His breathing became hitched in my ear and his movements became sloppier. Biting my ear, he asked, “Where do you want me to cum, Y/n?”

Without wasting time, I moaned my response. “Cum in me please. Want you to fill me with it.” At that, Matt slammed his twitching cock into me a few more times before finally telling me what I so desperately needed him to.

“Okay sweetheart. Go ahead and make a mess for me.” Even before his words fully left his dirty mouth, I gave into the overbearing pressure in my stomach and felt my intense orgasm over-take me. Practically screaming his name, my pussy convulsed uncontrollably. I felt the immediate relief and heard the gush as I squirted along his cock and down his legs. “Jesus.” He moaned out as his body suddenly stilled. As my legs shook, I could feel his cock twitching inside of me; painting my walls with his cum.

After we both came down from our highs, catching our breath and reconnecting with our minds, Matt slowly pulled his dick — freshly bathed in my own juices — out of my swollen core. With a satisfied sigh, he threw his body onto the bed beside mine. Both of us laid there for a moment, facing one another with glazed over expressions, before a shameless smile crept onto Matt’s face.

“Well you definitely didn’t squirt the last time we slept together.” He chuckled proudly, and I knew his ego had been inflated. I rolled my eyes. “Well, you didn’t whimper the last time we fucked either.” It was my turn to smile as he covered his face bashfully. We laid there in silence for a moment, both of us lethargic and fucked out.

“If that was anything like when ya’ll lost your virginities then I am extremely impressed.”

Matt and I both shot our heads up and looked around the room for the origin of that familiar voice. We were alone, but my eyes focused on the lit-up computer. On the screen, Matt’s Discord was open to the group with Nick and Chris. I turned to look at Matt, who had also clearly made the same discovery that I had, and whispered, “Did you for real leave the channel unmuted?” He tucked his lips together and shrugged apprehensively, before climbing off the bed and over to the computer.

“Chris, how much of that did you hear?” He asked into his headset. I heard a laugh through the mic. “Oh Matt, I heard it all. Good work. I’m a proud brother.” I covered my face in embarrassment as Matt rolled his eyes. “Fuck off. You’re a perv.” He mumbled to his brother, but I caught the small smile that tried to creep to his lips.

“I’m gonna need a fucking lobotomy to get over the trauma that I was just put through.” I heard Nick’s voice now through the mic and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Bro you could have just left the server, you act like I forced you to listen to the entire thing.” Matt argued with his older brother. “You think I stayed and listened to the ENTIRE thing? What are you crazy?” I was full out laughing now, despite the embarrassment. “I left as soon as I figured out what was happening, but I still heard waaaay too much.” Matt laughed now and muted his mic — perhaps a bit too late — then walked back to where I was on the bed, propped up on my forearms.

“Whoops.” He simply said as he pulled his boxers back up. I shook my head and smiled shyly. “We are literally never going to be able to live that down.” I replied as he draped his body along the bed beside me again. Rubbing his eyes awkwardly, he shrugged softly. “Well, at least they’re gonna have to stop teasing me about my skills.” I smacked his arm playfully and he responded by grabbing me swiftly and pulling me to his side.

“You were impressed, weren’t you?” He asked teasingly, as he held me close. I closed my eyes and sighed, “I was, Matt. Really, really, impressed.” He giggled into my neck at my truthful response and I swatted him once again.

“I’m glad we got our re-do. I’d been wanting that for a while.” He said after a moment. I looked at him with a smile and ruffled his hair. “Me too, honestly. I always knew you had some potential in you.” I teased.

“Well, if you don’t want to have to face Nick right now, you’re welcome to sleep in here tonight.” He offered and I sighed in relief. “That would be great, actually.” I said as I began to sit up. “Let’s get cleaned up first though.” He began as he got up and grabbed us both towels from his closet, “You’re not allowed to get under my sheets until you wash my children off your thighs.” My eyes shot open at his disgusting choice of words and I quickly covered myself with my towel. “Matthew Bernard you are sick!” I exclaimed as we both headed towards his bathroom. “Sure am. But so are you.”

He pulled me into a hug while we stood in the bathroom waiting for the shower to warm up. As he rubbed circles on my back with his hand, I sighed. “I think this is the secret to good friendship.” He chuckled before asking, “What is?” Playfully, I smacked his ass over his boxers. “Fucking the shit out of each other once in a while.” He laughed and pulled away from the hug before getting into the shower; leaving the glass door open so that I could follow him. “Shut your weird ass up and get in the shower with me, friend.”

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you

[tgcg]

tell your loved ones

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:01 --

TG: hey im on the john

JOHN: hey, dave is taking a dump.

TG: taking a shit just so were clear

JADE: jeez!!!!!!! even when im not online i have to hear about it

TG: i know you care so youre first to know

JOHN: i'm just giving you a heads up for the bajillion messages you will definitely have about this when you get home.

EB: god, thank you. that is awesome. dave fans everywhere are gonna go NUTS for this truth nugget.

EB: hey, i am at the store with jade!

TG: tell her the news

EB: i did as soon as you first pinged me, don't worry.

TG: hell yeah see you just fucking get it

JADE: well tell him i say congrats!

EB: she says congrats.

EB: also that you left your "yeah! woo!" machine at her place.

EB: and that you are gross and smell like a dog took a dump on a fart even when you aren't crapping during our conversations.

TG: goddamn

EB: jk that last bit was me heheh. but she nodded!

EB: so anyways, a yeah woo machine?

EB: what the hell even IS that?

JADE: its more or less a machine that yeahs and woos

TG: its basically a machine that yeahs and woos

EB: ok, yeah, that is pretty much exactly what jade said too. apparently this is supposed to be obvious.

JADE: its pretty self explanatory!

TG: pretty self explanatory stuff

TG: anyways im gonna tell karkat this time i think im ready for that

EB: oh shit (LOL), that's a pretty big deal, right? good luck dude.

--

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:03 --

TG: ok karkat can i be unbelievably candid with you is dj crabapple ready for this

TG: this is a really big deal for me but like no pressure

CG: SHIT, IS EVERYTHING OK?

CG: DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE.

TG: no no its good i just really need to confess something

CG: WHATEVER IT IS, TELL ME. I'M HERE.

TG: alright

TG: deep breath strider

--

TG: im dropping mad logs like bars in the ablution block vantas

TG: shit is on fire

TG: downright heretical like a shat outta hell

TG: and since im feeling penitent i figure our pesterlogs are pretty much akin to a confessional booth right

CG:

--

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:04 --

TT: Hey Dave.

TT: Are you, by any chance, taking a shit right now?

TG: damn word spreads fast on the information superhighway

TT: Yes, I have had the news forwarded to me via this bountiful virtual dimension of knowledge and culture we call the World Wide Web by a fellow enthusiast, one ectoBiologist.

TT: Frankly I'm heartbroken you didn't come to me about it first.

TT: Please, divulge to your loving sister the nature of your bowel movements, in exhaustive detail. Highlights in a notarized list, an overall ranking grade of your experience, whether you would recommend it to your friends, et cetera. These would be among my most pertinent avenues of inquiry.

TG: you were next on the mailing list rose im already on it

TG: boutta weave a verbal tapestry no holds barred just for you about my rambunctious foray down in brown town

TG: stay tubed

TT: Thank god. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't peruse your commodal follies like the morning gazette.

TG: dont act like this has educational value rose

TG: we all know my daily bullshit has got a laugh track

TG: like damn what kind of gazettes are you getting

TT: The best kind, Dave. Only the best kind.

TG: thanks for the vote of confidence

TG: wait gimme a sec karkat pinged

TT: Of course. I understand it's quite a big deal for you.

--

CG: OK.

CG: SINCE THIS APPARENTLY SKIRTS THE FRESHEST BUDS OF OUR BRO-DOM'S BURGEONING FROND NUB, I *ALSO* HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SHARE.

CG: I HOPE YOUR REFLECTIVE ABLUTION VAULT IS STOCKED WITH FUCKING RUMBLESPHERE TRANQUILIZERS, BECAUSE THIS EXCHANGE IS ABOUT TO GET SHITHIVE MAGGOTS.

CG: LISTEN CAREFULLY.

TG: whats up

--

CG: I AM ALSO ON THE LOAD GAPER RIGHT NOW.

TG: oh shiiit

CG: DON'T UNCLENCH YOUR EXPLOSIVE FUCKING SEED FLAP JUST YET, BECAUSE THERE'S *MORE*!

CG: I AM *ALSO* TAKING A CRAP.

TG: oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

CG: OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

#dave strider #karkat vantas #davekat #homestuck #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #june egbert #j egbert #comix #tell your loved ones #idm if this isnt rly well written i just did it 2 make myself giggle