It’s a skill, to look inside yourself, one you have mastered. The endless corridors and shifting thoughts are mapped so very carefully. This all takes time, of course. And those twisting hallways are so very difficult to map. It would be so easy to get lost. You know this space so well. Wouldn’t it be a lovely place to stay? So well-known and comforting. Why go back? How nice, how easy, to dissolve, to hide from the rest of the world and all the people in it. Why bother, when you are so good at looking inside yourself. Like enlightenment, the self. Retreating this far inwards is like retreating just as far out, into the vast ether. So comforting. The thing that was you looks at the thing that was the old woman. There is no you anymore. Goodbye.
tagged by: yoinked from @hexenjagd!
tagging: I am hitting you with beams that make you do this
⸢ inbox ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ in character ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ mirror ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ musing ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ headcanon ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ dash commentary ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ dash game ⤑ dryden ⸥ i never ask twice.
⸢ main verse ⤑ dryden ⸥ you know who i answer to.
⸢ redacted verse ⤑ dryden ⸥ out of options.
⸢ victor verse ⤑ dryden ⸥ the devil you know.
⸢ crack ⤑ dryden ⸥ i am clowning.
⸢ dynamic ⤑ dryden ⸥ it takes no prisoners. ⸤ maul ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ dryden ⸥ i would never bet against you. ⸤ qi'ra ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ dryden ⸥ evil grows in the dark. ⸤ talon ⤑ mayxthexforce ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ dryden ⸥ i hope you take the shot. ⸤ han ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ maul ⸥ how are you so good to me?? ⸤ kenobi ⤑ mayxthexforce ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ you tell me you love me like it will be the last time. ⸤ master ⤑ mayxthexforce ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ eyes don't lie. ⸤ rajeev ⤑ mayxthexforce ⸣
⸢ dynamic ⤑ anakin ⸥ someone who feels like sunlight. ⸤ padmé ⤑ alootus ⸣
i've got a silly little pit mix back at my parents house i love very much!!! big baby, whines about everything, 10/10 would recommend
📕 — favorite book/series?
i have never liked anything casually so if there is a fantasy/sci fi series i WILL mold my whole life around it. pj/o, shadowhunter/s, th/g, *mumbles* twiligh/t, all of those i spent a considerable amount of brainpower on. i sadly fell off the book grind during college so haven't read much aside from comics in a while, but most of those have a special lil place in my heart
✏️ — how long have you been roleplaying on tumblr?
👵 oh fuck, it's definitely been 10+ years. I started in group rps and then made an indie teen wol.f blog in the olden days that just opened the floodgates to indie rp
💻 — how many friends have you made in the rpc? feel free to tag a few of them!
VERY many!!! truly the reason i've stayed around so long and the majority of my enjoyment is the connections i've made with some truly wonderful people!!! hailey ( @appleyed ) is my bestie for the restie and i've told her every waking thought i've ever had for the past 7 ish years (math check lol). my beloveds @ownmidnight , @failrobin , @proditeur , @hopeforce , @motelhours , @roysenal , @webheadedhero, tara, carrie, insu, sim are all people i hold very near and dear to my heart <3
If your F/O is a minor and you're an adult, you're still a valid selfshipper! Regardless of canon year your F/O was born or canon age in the source, regardless of if you age them up or down, regardless of if you age yourself/your insert/your OC up or down, regardless of when you fell for your F/O and what age you did, it's still a valid selfship!
At the end of the day, your F/O is not real. Your F/O is a doll, an idea to play with. And playing with that is no one's business but your own! Your F/O loves you no matter how old you are or consider yourself to be!
i got over the "i can't visit a country if i don't know the language" feeling
nature everywhere
night markets were so fun!
at least half of the population wears a mask at all times (even outside of taipei where the air quality is nicer!)
every train station + tourist spot had a stamp area so now i have a lil booklet filled with taiwanese stamps :,)
food! especially boba and soups :DD -so much liquid.
traveling on the back of a scooter is so mind-numbing, i love being a passenger princess
the bad parts
taipei's air pollution is a lil sad but def not the worst
getting over the jetlag and post-vacation sadness T_T
they killed that duck that i saw in that one tumblr post
overall summary
i think that taiwan is an excellent place for people of all places to visit! especially if you know english, everyone is really nice to english-speakers and makes an effort to gesture-speak or google translate through every conversation
this may be insensitive, but i think that the "made in taipei" brand (country pride of having many ~cultural influences) really works for tourism. previously, i saw friends and co-workers take their japan trip and do all the kawaii things (sanrio store, snoopy cafe, studio ghibli museum, etc), and got sad. taichung really embraces manga, anime, and other kawaii-adjacent things, and it satisfied my desire to go to japan. i've been having a hard time with co-existing with appreciating the good side of japan (mostly art and media) and learning abt the bad sides (colonial history), so it was nice being able to get a positive experience with low "double-think"
on post-vacation sadness
idk why but this was the first time that i came back from a vacation and i was Sad. like, maybe it's bc i got my period mid-trip and it was some weird post-period hormonal thing?? but i doubt it
looking back, i think that i have never truly been Alone until this trip? when i solo traveled in sp+pt, i was able to talk to the people in the hostel and go out with them. i wasn't able to talk to anybody bc a majority of the tourists spoke either mandarin or japanese, and idk either of those languages. i think that i was alone with my thoughts for too long -> leading to being on my phone too much -> leading to random bursts of crying (?) that lasted through a week after coming back to the US. it was bad enough that i took off all my jewelry and almost cut my hair X|
also any instagram posts that mentions taiwan / east asia kinda ruins my whole day. i wanna go backkkkkk
lessons learned
it's okay to be lost emotionally and physically! being alone is a constant battle of self-love and The Void
i need more international friends bc visiting them in their free time + their country of residence in their work time is so fun
i need to take more pictures of myself! i think somewhere in this trip i convinced myself to download dating apps again and i have no good pics. i also can't post a "taiwan photodump" on insta :(