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vivwritesfics · 6 months

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10 Things I Hate About You

Sirius Black x Evans!Reader

Lily Evans isn't allowed to date. Not until her big sister does. At least, James Potter thinks so. What better way to rectify this than to get Sirius to date her. That shouldn't be hard, right?

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Lily Evans was not allowed to date. At least that was what James believed. He believed the reason she wouldn't date him was because of her sister.

Her crazy twin sister who was a loner freak. She was pretty, sure. Just as pretty as Lily. But she was abrupt, aggressive and, quite frankly, scared most people off. She was unashamed in voicing her opinions, not giving a crap on what anybody thought.

Lily Evans wasn't allowed to date because Y/N Evans wasn't dating. It wasn't a jealousy thing, it was a protective older sister thing.

"You don't need to waste you time on the guys at this school, Lils. You should just be focusing on your studies and getting the best grades you can," she said as she sat, stretched out on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, book open in her lap.

Lily let out a huff and returned to her homework. She knew there was no point arguing with her sister. And, it wasn't even like she wanted to date anybody, it just would have been nice to have the option. Especially when James Potter ramped up the flirting.

James Potter. He stared at her across any room they were both in. Pranks had gone wrong because he was too busy staring at Lily.

He'd asked her out several times. But her answer was always the same. She always turned him down and blamed Y/N.

So, James had to come up with a solution. He liked Evans, so damn much, he just had to get her sister out of the way.

Moony would never go for it. He was already sort of friends with Y/N. Academic rivals who had found friendship. They compared homework, attempting to correct each other. Which worked out great for James, Sirius and Peter.

Peter. Y/N would never go for him. Especially not after she'd caught him peaking into the girls hanging room after quidditch practice.

That left James with one last friend: Sirius. And might have well as been perfect for the job.

Sirius accepted. If it finally got James with Evans, he'd do it. Plus, Y/N was a challenge. If he managed to date her, he'd hate dated the biggest bitch in Hogwarts.

Of course, Sirius had the impossible task of getting her to agree to go on a date with him first.

On Sirius' first attempt, he waited leaned against the wall beside the doorway into charms. It wasn't a class they shared, and Sirius only knew where she was because he'd asked Lily.

So, he'd skipped his own class and waited outside of hers.

The girls in Y/Ns year giggled and batted their eyelashes at Sirius as the walked past. He flashed that ever charming smile, but that was the only attention he was going to give them. They weren't the one he was looking for.

"Hey," Sirius said as Y/N walked past.

She spared him a single glance and kept walked, not answering him.

It was a good thing thing Sirius was a persistent person. He followed Y/N away from her classroom, towards Muggle studies. "You got muggle studies?" He asked.

Y/N snorted. "What do you think?" She mumbled. "Haven't you got any classes whatsoever?"

"I might," he replied, leaning against the wall.

Y/N finally turned to look at him. She wouldn't admit it, but she noticed it, noticed his rolled up sleeves, his loose tie, the way he wasn't wearing his robes.

Sirius Black was undeniably attractive, sure, but Y/N wasn't looking to date. And good facial features weren't the only thing that mattered to her. So far, Sirius was all aesthetically pleasing facial features.

"I might want to stay here and walk to you."

Y/N scoffed and walked into Muggle Studies, leaving Sirius where he was.

***

"I'm telling you, James, she doesn't want me. She wants nothing to do with me," Sirius said as they lounged around in the common room.

James shook his head. "Come one, Padfoot. Every girl wants you, so why doesn't she?"

Before this whole ordeal, Sirius had wanted Y/N, but it was in the same way he wanted every girl. It meant nothing and the feeling would pass as soon as something had happened between them. But the more she rejected him, the more he wanted her.

So, with the help of Remus, the boys devised a plan. They were going to throw a party in the common room. And if Y/N and Lily came, and Lily saw Y/N with Sirius, maybe James might have a chance.

They spent the afternoon preparing everything, getting records together and sneaking alcohol into the grounds. Using the tunnel that led to the shrieking shack, Sirius and Remus managed to get to Hogsmeade. From there it was easy enough to by something to drink and get it back to the castle.

By the time the Gryffindors got back from dinner, the boys had the party in full swing. All that was missing was people.

It didn't take much to convince people to join their party. First, second, third and fourth years were ushered up to bed, since the marauders didn't want to be responsible for a bunch of drunk Fourteen year olds.

It was Peters job to make sure they stayed upstairs while everybody else partied. Sirius' job was handing out the drinks and Remus' job was to keep things rolling while James flirted with Lily.

Y/N was one of the last to make it back from dinner. Her sister had gotten to the common room first, and was already sat on the couch beside Marlene McKinnon, drink in hand.

Once Y/N walked into the common room, she scoffed and went to make her way up to her bedroom.

But Sirius caught her, getting in her way and handing her a drink. "Stay for a while," he said over the music and the chatter. "Have some fun with your housemates."

"I'm busy," said Y/N as she stared at him.

Sirius insisted, pushing the drink into her hand. "One drink, that's all I ask," he said. "Just one drink."

Reluctantly, Y/N took it. But one drink turned onto two, and two drinks turned into three. Soon Y/N was dancing on the table to the Queen records Sirius had put on.

Other students gathered around, laughing and watching as she danced. But Sirius could see it, see her slipping and falling from the table. So, he strode over, pushing his way passed the other Gryffindors, who let him pass without protest, and grabbed a hold of Y/Ns hands.

"Let's get you some air," he called over the noise.

"But I'm having fun!" Y/N shouted back, throwing her head back as she swayed from side to side. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Sirius practically pulled her from the table. He wrapped his arms around her, leading her out of the common room.

Sneaking through the halls of the castle was hard enough on a full moon. But, with a drunk Y/N Evans clutching onto his arm, it was damn near impossible.

Sirius hid her in an alcove with him, holding his fingers to her lips as Slughorn came past. Y/N let out a giggle and licked Sirius's finger, but he quickly placed his hand over her mouth.

Once Slughorn was gone, it was easy enough to get Y/N outside. Sirius walked her down to the Black Lake, sitting her down against a tree. "How are you feeling?" He asked, sitting down beside her.

Y/N let her head fall against his shoulder. "My head feels fuzzy," she complained, shutting her eyes.

"That's because you've had too much to drink." Sirius pulled a carton of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled one out. He put one between his lips and lit it.

As soon as Sirius took the first puff, Y/N reached for the cancer stick. He gently batted her hand away, wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "You'll throw up if you smoke this," he said and Y/N just nodded his head.

***

She didn't want to talk about it.

Some Gryffindors laughed as they passed her in the hall, but Y/N's harsh glare was enough to shut them up.

She hid herself away in the library, in the darkest corner as she read through books. For one she wasn't studying, reading for the pleasure of it.

When somebody walked towards her, Y/N turned away.

When Sirius Black walked towards her, Y/N scoffed and shoved her nose deeper into her book. If there was one person she didn't want to talk to, it was the person that got her drunk.

He sat opposite her, drumming his black nails against the desk. "How you feeling today?" He asked, using his finger to lower Y/N's book.

She glared and lifted it back up. "Go away, Sirius."

"I'll go away," Sirius replied, "If you go to Hogsmeade with me."

Again, Y/N scoffed. But this time she stood up and walked away from him. She checked her book out of the library and strode out, all while Sirius watched her go.

Goddamn he wanted her.

He needed Remus's help.

Sirius met his friend in the Gryffindor common room. "We need to do something," he said as he paced in front of the fire place.

Remus was sat back, looking cool, calm and collected. Of course he was, he had virtually no part in this whole Lily and Y/N plan. "Do you think it's really fair that you're chasing her just so that James can date her sister?"

Stopping his pacing, Sirius stared at his friend. He wanted Y/N Evans and he wanted her bad.

Remus let out a sigh. "Have you ever noticed that she's always reading these romance novels?"

"So?"

"You'll need to do some sort of gesture, something big and romantic," Remus replied, running his hands through his hair.

Some big, romantic gesture, huh? Sirius could do that.

***

Y/N had never received a howler before. Never, not in her entire life. With her parents being Muggles, they didn't know how to send them. So, when the owl dropped the red envelope into Y/N's lap, her sister stared at her. "Who on earth sent you that?" Asked Lily as Y/N picked it up.

She shrugged her shoulders and unsealed it. Immediately, the red envelope and letter inside became a mouth. A mouth that started singing. "Oh my god," Y/N mumbled, hiding her face from everybody else in the great hall, eating their breakfasts. She'd never been this embarrassed in her life, not even when she'd gotten incredibly drunk last week.

The Howler sang Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen as Sirius came and sat opposite her, smirking with his ring covered hands clasped together. "This is from you, isn't it?" Y/N asked over the singing.

Instead of answering, Sirius climbed up onto the table. He sang along with the howler, kicking dishes of food away from the table. And, when the song was over, he held out his hands towards her. "Y/N Evans, will you go out with me?"

The embarrassment had turned into laughter. As embarrassing as it was, Y/N loved it. It was amazing. It was the most Sirius Black thing in the world.

But Y/N didn't get to answer him, not when Professor McGonagall came striding towards him and pulled him from the table. He waved at Y/N as he was dragged away to detention.

"What on earth," Lily muttered, shaking her head as Y/N stood up from the table.

"I don't know, Lils," Y/N said and ran office.

She knew exactly where to find Sirius. McGonagall had him in her office, writing line while she watched over him.

Y/N knocked on the door and waited for McGonagall to let her in. When she shouted, Y/N strode into the office. "Hey, Professor. As a Muggleborn student, I have some questions," she said and walked over to the window, pulling McGonagall's attention away from Sirius.

It took Sirius a moment to catch on. So, Y/N kept talking, kept holding McGonagall questions. "So, do how do Muggleborn students come to be?" She asked.

Sirius's eyes went wide. He stood carefully pushing his chair back while McGonagall was turned around.

But she went to turn back. "Like, do I have a magical family member from a few generations ago?" She asked as Sirius tiptoed towards the door. "And, how come Lily and I are both magic but our sister isn't?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Evans," McGonagall said, keeping her eyes on her as Sirius made it out of the door. Y/N got herself ready to run. "But I don't have time for this right now. Can't you see I'm busy?"

"You're right, Professor. I'm sorry," Y/N said and swiftly walked out of the office.

She got away quickly, before McGonagall could call her back and ask about Sirius's whereabouts. Y/N wasn't sure, anyway. Sirius was long gone by the time she got out of the office.

Suddenly, Sirius appeared out of nowhere. He strode forward and tapped Y/N on the shoulder. She turned quickly, ready to tackle her attacker, but when she saw Sirius, she relaxed. She went to say something, but he beat her to it. "Meet me on the astronomy tower later," he said and walked off again.

***

James walked towards Lily and placed his arms around her shoulders. "Word on the street is your sister is seeing Sirius," he said as they walked.

Lily didn't remove his arm, but she didn't give him the time of day, either. She just kept walking, as though James wasn't there. "So, now that your sister is dating, how about I take you on a date?"

"A date, James, really?" Lily asked, finally pushing his hand away.

James nodded his head. "If Y/N is dating, why can't you?"

Letting out a huff, Lily turned to face him. "Okay, if I go on one date with you, will you finally leave me alone?" She asked and James nodded.

One date. All he needed was one date.

***

Y/N made her way up to the astronomy tower. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a knitted sweater, keeping herself warm as she walked through the castle.

Sirius was already up the astronomy tower, a picnic set up in front of him. He had the blanket, the basket, a candle surrounded by food. It was simple food, sandwiches and snacks.

"Wow," Y/N whispered as she walked over to him.

Sirius grinned and spread his arms. "Surprise," he said and sat on one side of the blanket, gesturing for Y/N to sit opposite him.

She took her seat and Sirius passed her a biscuit. "So, what is the deal with James and my sister?" She asked as she leaned back, looking across the castle grounds.

Sirius shook his head. "He really likes her," he said and ran his fingers through his hair.

Y/N let out a snort. "I think the whole school knows that."

"No, I think the whole school knows that I like you," Sirius muttered with a smirk.

They spoke the whole evening long. Even once the food had been eaten and they were comfortably full, Y/N and Sirius stayed where they were, talking about their lives. Y/N learned about his home life and just how shitty it was. She told him about being Muggleborn and how spiteful her sister was.

They were sat beside each other, Y/N leaning against him as he watched the stars. "So, why don't you date?" Sirius asked her. "You're gorgeous, I know so many guys that would be so happy to be in my position right now, so why am I the lucky guy?"

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. "I've just always wanted to be more focused on my studies," she said.

Suddenly Sirius placed his finger under chin and tipped her towards him. He kissed her, slowly gently, eyes closed as his lips moved against hers. He tasted of smoke and mint, the taste intoxicating. Y/N couldn't get enough.

She ran his fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp. Sirius let out a whine and pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. He couldn't stop the smile crossing his face as they just sat there.

There were footsteps, making their way up towards them. Y/N and Sirius pulled away to look at who was approaching.

"Lily," Y/N said as she stood, moving away from Sirius. "What're you doing up here?"

And then James appeared behind her. He grinned when he saw the two of them, both of them breathless. "Thanks, mate," he said as he and Lily came up the stairs.

Y/N stared at Sirius. "What does he mean?" She asked, picking up her things. "Sirius, what does he mean by that?"

"Y/N, listen, you've got to understand-"

But that was enough for her. Y/N turned on her heel and walked away from him, running down the steps and back to the common room.

Sirius spent the next few weeks trying to speak to her. He waited outside of her classrooms and tried to corner her in the common room, but Y/N marched away from him, a furious look on her face.

She was furious. Furious that Sirius had just asked her out for James' benefit, furious that she had fallen for him.

She was hurt, incredibly hurt.

She hated the way she felt around, the way he made her heart flutter. She hated the way his gaze heated her cheeks, hated the way her hand felt in his. She hated the way he smelt like cigarettes, hated the way he tasted of smoke and mint, and hated the way she loved it. She hated that he'd taken her on her first ever date and hated the way she loved it. But, most of all, she hated the way she didn't hate him.

Y/N sat in the common room, reading her book. She was constantly looking around, making sure Sirius didn't appear in front of her.

Suddenly, a couple of books appeared on the table in front of her. They were held together by a piece of twine, held together in a neat bow. Beneath the bow was a small note, her name written on it. Y/N grabbed a hold of it and turned it around.

'Forgive me? - S'

Y/N looked across the common room, meeting his gave. She gave him a quick nod and went back to her book, a grin splitting across her face.

#sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black x female reader #sirius black smut #sirius black x reader smut #sirius black fluff #sirius black x you #marauders #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #marauders fluff #marauders smut #marauders x you #marauders x reader smut #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader

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exhaslo · 8 months

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Kinktober Day 21- Yandere!Miguel x Reader (Breeding/Lactation Kink)

(Requested by reader, also early update bc I'm playing Spiderman 2 all weekend)

It was no lie to anyone that Miguel was a stressed man. His eyes packed more bags than someone did for travelling. You knew better than anyone the pent up tension that man carried. Miguel had the fate of the whole multiverse on his shoulders, plus his shitty Alchemax job. The man barely had time for sleep and himself. Even so, he always managed to find time for you. Miguel had to since he was your loving husband, after all.

You were just a regular person, but you worked with Miguel at the Spider Society. You were the front desk receptionist. Your job was basically to turn people away who accidently entered the building. Apparently which happened a lot. It was an easy job and one where Miguel could keep his eyes on you at all times.

You had been with Miguel for over two years. The man was head over heels in love with you. The moment he proposed you immediately said yes. You were happy to live a life with him. You shared his burdens and he with you. Miguel always said that you were his only stress reliever. Just seeing you each day made his tension melt away. He always joked about locking you away so no one but him saw you. It was cute.

That and the hours of dumb fucking sex. Miguel had a breeding kink. He was always determined to fill you to the brim with his cum, always threatening to get you pregnant. It turned you on so much. Miguel would fuck you anywhere and everywhere. One time he was so horny that he was drilling your pussy right at your desk. He did not care if anyone walked in, just as long as he got to fill you. There have been says where you couldn't move because of how much he fucked you.

"Amor (love), what are you thinking about?" Miguel asked as he approached you from behind. You jumped,

"Miggy, I told you not to scare me!" You whined before hugging him, "I was just thinking about getting a new dress for our date night."

"Hm?" Miguel glanced at the website you were looking at, "But we're having that at home, amor." His eyes glowing bright red towards your exposed breasts,

"Awe, but Miggy, ca-W-Wait," You pouted softly as Miguel's hands already started to roam your body, "S-Someone almost walked in on us last time!"

"Then they'll know that you're mine." Miguel hissed lowly, sucking against your neck, "Nadie puede estar cerca de usted. (No one is allowed to be near you.)"

You trembled under his touch as Miguel already started to pump your pussy with his fingers. Miguel refused to teach you Spanish, saying something about him enjoying your confused expressions. When in reality, he did not want you to know about his dark secret. Placing you against the desk, Miguel inhaled to the sound of your moans. Those sweet, sweet cries, only for him. Miguel made sure that no one got to touch your body.

When Miguel first laid eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. He did everything in his power to keep other men away from you. He was Spiderman after all, what's an injury here or there? Miguel just pushed you in the right direction for him. Playing the perfect boyfriend until you were convinced that he was. You were so cute as you fell into his trap. Miguel had you all for himself and he was going to make sure it stayed that way.

"Mírate, chupándome la polla tan bien. (Look at you, sucking my dick so well.)" He groaned as he started to pound your pussy from behind. "What is it that you want, baby? Tell me."

"N-Need you to fill me," Your moans were getting louder as he pressed you into the desk. Miguel brought your waist closer to his, making sure to hit you deep each time,

"Te he entrenado muy bien. Todo lo que quieres es que te derrame mi semen todos los días. Te doy mi hijo. (I've trained you so well. All you want is for me to pour my cum into you every day. Give you my child.)" He groaned lowly, giving you his first fill, "Gotta make a mami out of you, right?"

"Y-Yes!" You moaned out.

Miguel licked his lips as he kept going. One was never enough. He needed to make sure you knew your place. He flipped you over, placing you in mating position. Your breasts were bouncing out of your top. Miguel licked his lips as he went to squeeze your breast. You let out a sharp gasp as a sudden release of tension was given to you. Miguel's eyes sparkled as your tender breasts started to lactate. Your adorable face screamed embarrassed while he chuckled,

"Don't look away," Miguel leaned down and started to suck against one of your breasts.

"H-Hah, M-Miggy...T-That-"

You squirmed under Miguel, a new sensation burning throughout your body. Miguel was sucking against your breasts hungrily. You were reaching your orgasm and fast. Miguel felt you squeeze against his cock and continued his harsh pace. He switched to your other breast, wanting to share the love.

"Miguel!" You cried out, panting heavily after your orgasm.

Miguel released your abused nipples, watching your milk drip down your body. He pumped you a few more times with his dick, making sure to fill your womb. Once he was done, he fixed your attire and sat you back down in your seat,

"That was delicious, mi amor. We'll continue this later."

--------------

It hadn't even been an hour since Miguel filled you that he was back. He caught you leaving the bathroom and proceeded to fuck you in the stall, giving you another few pumps of his cum, while enjoying your milk. You body was starting to grow sore and it was no where near time for you to go home. It was like Miguel was under a spell. He kept groping your breasts, wanting you to cum from just his touch. You weren't sure if you were going to last the day.

"I need more water," You sighed softly, feeling dehydrated.

Right as you were about to stand, someone walked into the building. A young confused looking man approached you with what looked like a file in his hand. It was probably another lost interview candidate for the building behind the Spider Society. You told the young man that he was in the wrong building and when you went to stand, you fell. Your legs had given up on you from all of the rough sex Miguel gave you today.

"Are you-"

"Back off." Miguel hissed as he towered over the young man in his suit.

The young man fled in terror. Miguel cussed under his breathe and went over to you. He grabbed your arm before lifting you into his arms. You knew he was mad. Miguel always hated it whenever any guy talked to you. He wouldn't even let you order food if it was a male cashier. He was so protective and jealous that you found it cute, but annoying sometimes.

'Sorry," You apologized as Miguel took you home, "I was going to get a water."

"Then let me know. I'll do that for you," He grumbled.

You pouted towards his childish behavior. Once you arrived home, Miguel made sure you got hydrated. He took your pants off, massaging your legs to try and give them feeling again. His eyes trailed towards your pussy, seeing his cum still leaking out of you. A low growl escaped his lips as he pushed you against the bed. His suit disappearing before he started to stroke his dick,

"¿Por qué sigues desobedeciendome? ¿Ni siquiera puedes guardar mi semilla dentro de ti y dejas que otro hombre te hable? te voy a castigar amor. (Why do you keep disobeying me? You can't even keep my seed inside you and you let another man speak to you? I'm going to punish you, love)" He spat, shoving his dick inside your drenched pussy.

"M-Miguel! N-No more...It's too much," You whined. Miguel groped your breasts, giving them a good squeeze, "Hah~ Ah~"

"Voy a hacerte madre. Darte una muy buena razón para mantenerte alejado de los demás. ¿Tienes esperando en casa toda hinchada por mi culpa? (I'm going to make you a mother. Give you a damn good reason to stay away from others. Have you waiting at home all swollen because of me.)" He groaned, ravishing your cunt.

Miguel ignored your cries as he took your nipple in his mouth. The warmth of your breast milk going down his throat. How could he ever let you leave the house again after this? Miguel needed to be stricter with you. Gripping your hips tightly, Miguel let out a grunt as he filled your womb once more. Your body arched, moaning out in pleasure. Despite your cries, your body always told Miguel what you wanted. You could never be too full.

"Are you learning your lesson?" Miguel asked, releasing your nipple for the other one. You shuddered in response, "I can't hear you,"

"Y-Yes, Miggy."

"And what is it you learned?"

"Mhm, I-I won't," You whined as he kept bullying his cock into you, "I-I'm yours. O-Only yours-"

"And?" Miguel rubbed your clit as he pounded you harder. You gasped, moaning louder,

"I-I'll do as you say. N-no talking to other men, a-and...ah...ah~ M-Migu-" You shook as you reached another orgasm. Miguel chuckled as he gave you another fill of him,

"Good girl,"

Picking you up as he finished, Miguel carried you to the bathroom. He sat you between his legs in the bathtub, messaging your breasts. His whispers about how sexy you were made your brain foggy. Miguel loved the fact that you were lactating for him. His hands kept wandering all over your body, marking you as his.

------------

You ended up working from home afterwards. Miguel said it was for your protection. You were so madly in love with him and blinded by his true nature that you obeyed him. Miguel always rewarded your obedience. You were his good girl. He made sure you got what you wanted as long as it did not involve leaving the house without him. Miguel made sure that you were always with him everywhere else. If you even stepped out for mail without him, he would punish you.

"Now, what is it that you did wrong?" Miguel asked as he pounded you from behind harshly. You gripped the bedsheets, sobbing from the overstimulation he was giving you,

"M...Ma..." He had made you cum so many times you lost count. You could barely form a word.

"Can't understand you when you're so fucked out and full of me," He said with a smirk, "Oh? You're lactating even more...I wonder if this means I succeeded." He hummed lowly. You moaned loudly as he went to fill you again,

"Mig....s'much....mhm..."

Miguel lifted you up as he gave you one last load. He turned you around, holding your waist up so nothing would spill out of your pussy. He licked your breasts, enjoying the lewd expression on your face. You learned your lesson alright. You were never going to disobey him again. You were his good girl. Miguel smiled as he rubbed your belly,

"You're going to be a mami, amor. I'll have to reward you later,"

"Mhm,"

You just laid against the bed, slowly falling asleep from exhaustion. You were happy and contempt with your life with Miguel. Even if it meant losing your freedom to him. Miguel could have never been happier, especially after finally breeding you. And he wasn't going to stop after just one. You were stuck with him forever.

#kinktober #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel

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bratzforchris · 3 months

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Comfort, M. Sturniolo

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ

Summary: Matt's been burning out. It's taken a toll on his body and his mind, but luckily, you're always there when he needs you most<3

Pairing: Matt x feminine reader

Warnings: Burnout, mentions of disordered eating and anxiety, panic attack, pet names (baby, pretty/sweet/handsome boy)

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: This was a random little idea I had while I've been out of classes and work sick! Soft hurt/comfort Matt makes me so 💗 Expect a lot of writing this week while I'm on spring break and enjoy this lil story<3

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ

Being a content creator was an extremely stressful job, and you knew that. You had to constantly be worried about numbers, engagement, and what looks would or would not get you media attention, good or bad. Although it may not be the same as a regular nine-to-five job, it was still incredibly taxing, and that weight was wearing down on your boyfriend roughly and quickly.

Matt had been teetering on the edge of burnout for a while now, but just chose to ignore it, figuring if he didn’t acknowledge it, it would stay at bay. He knew you could tell; in fact, he knew everyone could tell, but that didn’t stop him from working day and night, constantly editing, pitching ideas to his brothers, and planning new videos. He refused to let you or Nick and Chris help him, not-so-logically thinking he had to ‘pull his weight’. In Matt’s head, Chris was the funny one, Nick was the editor and the smart one, and you had your own job at a local boutique downtown. You all didn’t have time to hear his issues, he thought.

“Matt? You in here, love?” You knocked on the door to his office, worriedly gnawing on your lip.

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend since you arrived home from work two hours ago, but you knew he was here because his car was in the driveway. At first, you had left him to his work, figuring he would come out when he was done with his tasks, but now, it was nearing dinnertime, and even the smell of food cooking on the stove wasn’t luring him out. You waited a few beats, not hearing an answer, until you decided to take matters into your own hands. You would never intrude on Matt’s personal space, but truth be told, you missed your boyfriend loads, and you were also slightly worried.

Matt was hunched over his computer, fingers flying furiously over the keyboard as he typed out an email. He didn’t even look up from the screen until you tapped him on the shoulder, to which you only received a turn of the head and a tired, watery smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Dinner’s ready, baby,” You whispered softly, massaging his shoulders. “I missed you today.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he sighed, rubbing his temples and then turning back to the computer. “I have some stuff to do.”

“Matt, you’ve been in your office since I got home, darling. That was over two hours ago,” You protested gently. “You gotta be hungry, bubba.”

The awful anxiety started to creep into Matt’s mind at your questioning, not because of anything you were doing, but because he knew you were worrying about him, and he didn’t want that. “I ate earlier.” he lied, wincing at how easily the untruth rolled off his tongue.

“There weren’t any dishes in the sink or the dishwasher and there weren’t any takeout containers. You didn’t eat, love.” You said firmly, but not unkindly.

You had been noticing for a few weeks now that Matt was eating less and less, abandoning breakfast and usually after dinner dessert in favor of working in his office. You figured the issue would resolve itself after the influencers got out of their ‘busy season’, but here it was, two weeks later and Matt was getting worse, not better. You knew your boyfriend struggled with anxiety even before YouTube, but that wasn’t going to make you brush the issue off.

“It doesn’t have to be a whole meal, but you need to eat something.” You continued as you massaged his neck and shoulders, him still facing the screen.

Your boyfriend didn’t say anything, and you almost thought he was ignoring you, until he turned to you, blue eyes full of unshed tears. “I can’t,” Matt cried, beginning to choke on held back sobs. “I have so much to do.”

“Bubba, you can take a break. It’s okay,” You kissed his forehead. “No one is going to be mad at you.”

“But what if I’m not doing enough? What if Nick and Chris think I’m just letting them do all the work? What if…” Matt was cut off by his own shallow breathing, hands moving to fist his feathery brown hair.

“Matt,” You interjected firmly. “You are panicking. You need to breathe. Copy me.”

Over your year of being with Matt, you had found that a firmer voice with no pet names usually got his attention better than an overly lovey-dovey voice when he was panicking. Matt finally looked at you, his hyperventilating slowing down as he copied your breathing. In for four, out for four.

“Good boy.” You smiled, gently praising him as he relaxed against his office chair.

Matt didn’t even argue when you closed out his computer. He just sat back against his chair, massaging his temples. You gently took his hand, leading him to the living room and guiding him to the couch. You knew he needed to eat, but right now, getting him calm and relaxed was the first priority. You sat down on the couch, allowing Matt to lay his head in your lap. You two didn’t speak for quite a while, allowing him to fully calm down first. Finally, you spoke, running a hand across his body and through his hair comfortingly.

“Do ya wanna talk about it, handsome boy?” You asked kindly.

“I’m just stressed,” Matt sniffled. “I have a lot to do and Nick is already stressed so I tried to help him with editing, and,” he paused to catch his breath as tears rolled down his face. “And some people have been making mean comments about me lately.” he cried.

“Oh honey,” You said sympathetically, kissing his forehead. “I’m so sorry, pretty boy.”

“They say I’m not as entertaining as Nick and Chris cause I’m quiet.” he sobbed softly.

“Baby, that is the furthest thing from the truth,” You told Matt, kissing his forehead. “You are sweet, kind, and funny. Anyone who says otherwise is a miserable internet troll who takes their problems out on people they don’t even know.”

“Mhm,” Matt sniffled and nodded, curling further into you. All was silent for a while as you cuddled until your boyfriend’s stomach growled. “My belly hurts.” he whimpered.

You pouted, running your hand over his stomach comfortingly. “It’s probably because you’re hungry and stressed, honey. Those two things don’t mix well. Do you feel like eating some dinner?”

“No.” Matt said flatly, avoiding your eyes.

“You have to eat, baby. You don’t even have to get up from the couch and it doesn’t have to be a heavy meal, but you have to eat.”

“Fine.” he mumbled, desperately trying not to cry again.

“I love you, handsome.” You slid out from under him, softly covering him up with a blanket, before kissing his forehead with a little ‘Be right back’.

You padded into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar and an apple. You also refilled Matt’s water bottle that had been abandoned on the island with fresh water. Before you went back to the couch, though, you snuck into your shared room and grabbed Matt’s stuffed pug, Mr. Wrinkleton, off the bed. Based on your own anxiety experiences, you knew having a comfort object usually helped, and your boy needed all the help you could offer.

By the time you made it back to the couch, Matt’s tears had slowed, but he was still visibly sniffling, blankly staring off into space while pulling the blanket closer to his chin. It broke your heart to see him like this, but for now, you were going to focus on comfort; you two could tackle solutions to the problem later.

“Look who I brought,” You whisper squealed, handing Matt his stuffed animal. “He missed you.”

Your boyfriend smiled softly, clutching the plush animal to his chest. Mr. Wrinkleton had been Matt’s biggest comfort (besides you) for as long as he could remember, and that didn’t change now that he was an adult. He shifted so that you could once again sit down on the couch, before laying his head back in your lap.

“I brought you some food, too.” You placed the snacks in Matt’s hand, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Matt didn’t speak much as he chewed thoughtfully on the granola bar and apple. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to you; he was just so exhausted that talking seemed like an extra task. Once he had finished, he placed his trash on the coffee table and then turned over so that his face was smushed against your body. You laid in silence for a while until you softly spoke, running a hand through his hair.

“How are you feeling?” You asked softly.

Matt shrugged, snuggling further into the blanket. “My stomach still hurts a little. I’m just really stressed.” he said sadly.

“I have an idea if you’re up for it.” You smiled.

“And that idea would be?”

“Come on, I’ll show you,” You gently took Matt’s hand, making sure he had his blanket and stuffed animal and then led him to your shared bedroom. “Lay down on your back.” You instructed.

Once Matt had gotten himself into a comfortable position, you straddled yourself across his legs and pulled his shirt off, admiring what you saw for a moment. Your boyfriend was gorgeous and toned with tanned skin and a beautiful sleeve of tattoos that you loved to admire. You stole a pump of lotion from the bottle off your nightstand and began to massage his skin, taking extra care to rub his belly gently and massage the knots in your shoulders.

“God, Matt. Your shoulders are so tense, honey.” You hummed when your hands met a particular knot in his left shoulder.

In response, your boyfriend let out a soft moan, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the soft pillows of your bed. It sounded sexual, especially since you were straddling him, but Matt didn’t give a damn. The only thing he could focus on right now was the soft glide of your hands against his skin, melting all his worries away.

Once you had finished your massage, you cuddled up next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. “Did that help a little?” You asked.

Matt nodded appreciatively, burying his nose in your neck while holding his stuffed animal to his chest. “Mhm.” he mumbled happily.

“I’m glad, sweet boy,” You whispered, kissing the spot behind his ear. “You know you can always come talk to me when you’re feeling stressed, right baby? I won’t judge you, nor will I ever be too busy for you.”

“I know,” Matt blushed. “I’m going to work on asking for help instead of trying to handle everything alone…” he whispered softly.

“I’m so proud of you,” You hummed, giving him the soft praise he so heavily deserved. “You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, you know that?”

“I am pretty great.” the giggle and smile you had been waiting to hear all evening finally crept into Matt’s voice.

Even when his anxiety and worries got the best of him, he would never lose his ‘Mattitude’, and that was just one reason on a very, very long list that you loved this boy with your whole heart.

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @idek3000hi @melguilbert

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here<3

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faatxma · 1 year

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Blooming Seedlings

Pairing: King George III x Reader

Synopsis: You were truly surprised when you saw that the seeds your husband planted started to become seedlings.

Warnings: Fluff

You have been feeling nauseous for a while now but ignored it. As you started to feel dizzy you knew something was up with you. It has been two weeks since your Honeymoon period ended. You and George spent every minute together from waking up in each others arms to stargazing at night.

Your were currently knitting as you observed George pacing around nervously, he was writing a speech for the British council members something he has to do every other month. As he had his duties you also had yours which were picking your Ladies in waiting.

'Stop pacing my love, you’ll do a wonderful job believe me.' You said as you stood up placing your hands onto his shoulders.

'I don’t know why I’m so nervous.' He chuckled turning around to pull you into his arms. You giggled pecking his lips knowing that he was truly improving regarding his illness. You remembered like it was yesterday where Reynolds got you and told you what George had planned. Knowing that the Royal Physician was known for his torturous therapy methods terrified you.

You were happy when you could stop it even before it began. You loved him the way he was, as a mad man as farmer George and king George at the end of the day he was your husband and you loved him.

He wanted to get better for you, you appreciated it but he was enough and will always be enough.

'Will you be alright without me?' He asked nudging you nose cutely. You nodded it’s only going to be a day and Brimsley and your handmaid Emilia would be with you.

'Show them who you are, my love.’ you smiled stroking his cheeks. As you suddenly felt nauseous but you tried to suppress it, but George caught it.

'Everything alright my dear?' He asked with concern in his face.

'I’m alright nothing to worry about my king, now go show them what you are capable off.' You grinned walking him out.

'I’ll see you tomorrow night.' He said placing a long kiss on your lips.

'Have a safe journey.'

After George and Reynolds left you decided to take a walk through the Garden it was a nice sunny day that quickly turned into a gloomy one. You heard Brimsley suggesting you to return but as stubborn as you were you ignored his suggestion. You saw Emilia and some other maids picking flowers for your bedroom. Something they did, every three days they use the dried ones as scent bags for your wardrobe which leaves a nice floral scent.

They greeted you as you passed and you greeted them back. But before you could even focus your attention on your walk you felt dizzy, your head started to throb and your were sure you could vomit any second.

The change in your body demeanor was picked on quickly by your Maid Emilia who was about to ask if everything was alright. But before she could to that your eyes rolled back and your body dropped to the ground.

And all you could hear were screams.

'What is with her, I demand an answer' you heard the hushed voice of your husband behind the door. You were confused he wasn’t supposed to be back that soon. You didn’t remember what had happened but the way your head was throbbing, you knew that you must’ve fainted. You opened your eyes seeing that you were in you chambers covered in blankets.

'-george, George' you muttered trying to get someone’s attention and by the gasp you heard and the rushed steps towards you, you could see your maid Emilia appearing next to you. She looked like she had been in distress but you could see it changing when she saw you wide awake.

'Your Majesty, thank god you are awake' she said reaching for a cup of water to give it to you.

'What happened to me? and where is my husband here?' you said tiredly trying to sit up so you could drink some water. Emilia helped you take a couple of swallows until you turned your face to the still visible argument outside.

'You fainted yesterday and I called to doctor immediately to exam you your Majesty.'

‘Yesterday? I’ve been unconscious that long? What of my husband why is he here what about his speech?' You asked her confused.

'The doctor is outside with him, your husband just arrived from his council meeting, after he heard what happened.' She said picking on her fingers nervously.

'I want to see him please.' She nodded walking hastily to the door. You could hire her talk even if it wasn’t that clear.

'Your Majesty she’s awake and asking for you.' Before she could even get back in your husband rushed past her without a glimpse.

'Oh darling' he said with glassy eyes, he looked exhausted and you felt bad that you hadn’t said anything before.

'I’m fine, George' you said showing him a small smile grabbing his hands gently.

'No, you aren’t you should’ve told me that you didn’t feel well, I’d have never left you.' He muttered pressing kisses to the back of your hands.

'What of your speech?' you asked.

'Forget the speech my wife just fainted do you really think my thoughts are still on that? You should’ve told me that you weren’t feeling well.' He said frustrated.

'His majesty is right my Queen, someone in your condition should’ve said something earlier.' The doctor said walking into the room with his intern behind him.

'What condition?' You asked nervously, was it a incurable disease? Or something remotely close?

'Oh my apologies my Queen I thought you were well aware that you are 7 weeks pregnant.'

'Y-you said pregnant?' you heard George say next to you.

'I’m with child?' you asked feeling your tears escaping your eyes. You were with child the whole time without even noticing. If you think back your monthly period hasn’t been coming in a while and the tenderness in your breast was also an indicator that you were pregnant.

'Yes your Majesty congratulations I’ll be going now. If you need anything feel free to call for me.' With that he left you alone with your husband. Your staff also departed but not without congratulating the both of you.

When the door closed you husband leaped up to engulf you in a hug, you could feel his lefty hand on you lower stomach were a bulge was starting forming.

'A little king or a little queen' he whispered happily to himself trying to process what he just heard.

'You are going to be a father.' You said gently wrapping your arms around his neck.

'And you are going to be a mother.' he leaned down pressing pecks onto your face.

'Seems like it didn’t take to long until my seeds started to become seedlings making your womb bloom, my love.'

'They sure didn’t take to long and with no time our little bundle will find the daylight.'

#king george x reader #king george iii #bridgerton #queen charlotte #bridgertonedit #bridgerton fanfiction #king george bridgerton #lady danbury #violet bridgerton #young king george #young queen charlotte

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nataliasquote · 2 months

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Is It All For Nothing? | n romanoff

Summary: You just want a friend. Is that so bad? How is it fair that everyone else gets one but you. What did you do that was so wrong?

Warnings: idk. just depressing stuff ig

Pairings: none. a small bit of Nat x reader but all platonic

wc: 1.3k

notes: I wrote this in 45 mins in one sitting. It’s written in a different pov than usual and idk if it even makes sense. I just typed and didn’t stop until I was done 🤷‍♀️ the idea just came to me and yeah :)

-⧗-

Frankly, being on the sidelines sucked. Everyone knew it yet no matter how many times someone engaged in small talk to be polite or proclaimed they were there to talk to everyone, somehow you were always left out.

It didn’t matter where you were, loneliness followed like a dormant disease. High school sucked, you were a nobody, but thankfully those years were in the past. But your fifteen year old self didn’t realise that your isolation would carry right on over into your adult life.

And sure, it wasn’t all bad. The nights spent chatting with new friends you’d made that day left you on an all time high, but that just made the fall that much harder. And when the low inevitably came, you could only laugh at yourself at your naivety, because why would things suddenly change? You weren’t someone people stuck around for.

Unfortunately, Shield agents were no different. Those in your cohort were nice enough to say hi in the hallway or invite you into group conversations. A couple even chatted with you over lunch. But you knew they only did it because they felt bad. You saw the difference in their demeanor; you were a spy for god’s sake. They were so much happier with their friends, and that didn’t include you, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it did.

There was one agent who’s attention toyed with you that little bit more. Natasha Romanoff was a couple of ranks higher, both in social and training status. But she was always kind, no matter what. You conversed whilst waiting for your training session, mainly her listening as you talked. She was sweet, despite her intimidating facade and before long she had you completely wrapped around your little finger.

For a month, you both chatted any chance you got. If you saw her in the cafeteria, you’d make a beeline for her table, smiling at the other agents as you sat down. She responded to you, her eyes holding yours as you spoke, seeming actually interested in what you had to say. She would joke with you, calling you out with a laugh which sent a flush to your cheeks. You didn’t care what she said, she was talking to you. That’s all that mattered. Maybe this was where your life changed for the better. Evenings that followed those days would be blissful and you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, feeling on top of the world all because of the redheaded Russian.

However, as the weeks went on, days would go by with no contact. At first you just thought she was going on more missions; that was her job after all. But then you’d see that flash of red hair in a meeting room or one of the agents talking about something Natasha had said earlier and it hit you sharply in the throat.

Was she just like everyone else? Playing the pity card, building you up only to leave you hanging once she got bored? Natasha didn’t seem like that kind of person, but had essentially placed her on a pedestal, so of course she could do no wrong. That was your downfall.

Emerging from a debrief with Maria Hill, you tucked a stack of files under your arm and stepped out into the hallway. And there she was, a soft smile on her lips. You reciprocated it and made eye contact, opening your mouth to speak. You hadn't spoken in a few days and you hated to admit it, but you missed her.

But Natasha clearly didn’t feel the same. Her eyes caught yours and then darted to the floor, her feet picking up the pace as she walked past. “I’m sorry Y/n, I’m busy today. We’ll talk later.”

Except she wasn’t busy. Because there she was, standing at the end of the hall laughing with another agent in your cohort. It shouldn’t have been, but it was like a punch to the stomach and you quickly turned around, retreating back into the room you’d left to avoid her seeing you watching her.

You knew that agent. They were friends, everyone saw it. And she was nice enough to you too, but jealousy coursed through your veins and turned you into a green eyed monster.

What did she have that you didn’t? Besides the ability to win Natasha over, obviously. Every single interaction you’d had with the redhead suddenly started replaying in your mind, frantically scanning to see what went wrong. Did you overstep? Were you too pushy? Too clingy? You just wanted a friend, was that so hard to understand? Was it so bad to want?

You thought about texting her, but decided against it. You didn’t want to know the answer. What if your worst fears were confirmed? That she only spoke to you out of pity, and quite frankly didn’t want anything to do with you.

It hurt. It really did. Countless times you wished that she was the one that would change your bad history of making friends. Because when you were around Natasha, nothing else mattered. The days of no contact slipped out of your mind. You’d forgive her for anything in a heartbeat… maybe that was the problem.

You thought the world of her. And she saw that. ‘Never meet your heroes’ that’s what they say, isn’t it? And maybe she wasn’t quite at hero status for you, but you looked up to her. Praising her work when she returned from a successful mission, commenting on the ingenious moves she made to lead her team to victory. She was everything you wanted to be as an agent, with one seriously important factor.

Everyone loved her.

Everyone loved her, and nobody knew you. She was the prize rose and you were behind, stuck in her shadow. They didn’t see you as anyone but the agent who sucked up to Natasha. They didn’t see how hard you worked, how many hours you trained, how much effort you put in. And they never would. Because it was too much. You were a try hard.

A try hard in a room full of effortless people.

Effortless just like that other agent was. She’d been rumoured to move up into Natasha’s ranks and onto her mission team, leaving you struggling in the lower levels. It felt almost childish, yearning after the attention of one single person. But no matter how hard you tried, or how casual you tried to be, Natasha would never see you as anything other than a fan girl.

You knew she was capable of giving you what you desired, you saw it with that other agent. The way they laughed together, developed inside jokes and anecdotal phrases that they brought up in group discussions. You saw the way Natasha’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name, how she gushed over her but also teased her at the same time. Their effortless banter had you choking back tears as you sat one table over, watching with blurry eyes.

You wanted that so badly it hurt.

But if you stopped trying, stopped reaching out, stopped lusting after the perfect friendship you so badly craved with her, would she notice? Or would you fade into the background, silently, without a word. Maybe she would be happy, now that you’re no longer bugging her.

Maybe it’s for the best.

#natasha romanoff #marvel #fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #friendship angst #marvel angst #black widow #natasha romanoff fanfic #scarlett johansson

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roosterforme · 8 months

Text

The Younger Kind Part 32 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is used to feeling comfortable around you, so when he arrives home and things feel strained, he wants to understand why. The more you tell him about what has you so upset, the more he wants to try to fix everything. But you don't know if he can do anything to mend your confidence.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 5600 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Nat called and texted the next day to check in with you and Noah. It didn't matter how many times you lied and told her that you were just fine, she said she wanted to be sure. But you knew you were barely holding on, and the next two days without Bradley were going to be really hard.

Because now it wasn't just the USB drive. It was also your hand. And the broken glass. And the way Noah cried. You were currently curled up in Bradley's bed with Noah sound asleep in your arms, and you didn't even want to go to work tomorrow. Your hand was aching, and the gash looked terrible. Even though you had done your best with it, you knew you should have gone for stitches. But you also knew it was too late for that now.

After a moment of contemplation, you decided to keep Noah in bed with you for the night. You opened up your email one more time with the arrival instructions from Bradley even though you had them memorized. But you didn't want to mess this up.

When you got to work the next morning, while you were still trying to decide if you should report the break in, another layer of embarrassment was added. Dr. Kelly pulled you aside and glanced down at your hand as she said, "Would you like me to take a look at that?"

You'd done a pretty terrible job of bandaging it up on your own. "Sure," you said softly, and she unwrapped it and winced.

"This didn't happen at work, did it?"

"No," you replied quickly. "At home."

She met your eyes with startled ones. "This is a nasty, irregular cut. You live with your boyfriend, correct?" When you nodded, she added, "If there's any sort of issue with... violence at home, please know that you can always come to me."

Your jaw dropped open, and you gasped. "No! He's not even here, he's deployed! It was an accident!"

"Okay," she said right away. "I believe you. Let me get it cleaned up. It's looking angry, and you should have probably gone somewhere for stitches over the weekend."

Instead of responding, you silently followed her to one of the exam rooms where she carefully disinfected your palm and applied an adhesive that would work on your skin. "I can reapply it later this week for you."

"Thanks." As you got back to work, you were starting to think you should have reported the incident with the police. Panic rose inside you as you were instructed to prepare some vaccination syringes for the ten year old in exam room five.

Should you wait until Bradley got home on Wednesday? Should you call the police after work today? Your cut up hand was bad enough, but Noah could have been the one who got hurt. And you'd honestly never be able to forgive yourself if something happened to him. You had protected him from Meredith in the park, so why was this any different?

You rushed back to Bradley's house after work and ran inside, completely exasperated by his old man tendencies. You had to search for the list of phone numbers he gave you which would have been much better if he just saved them to your contacts in your phone.

Noah needed to be picked up in the next forty minutes, and you didn't know how long she would be in her office, but you tried to reach Tracy anyway. When you gave your name to her receptionist, you were shocked that he put you right through to Bradley's lawyer.

"I hope Bradley thanked you for me. The Red Bulls were very sweet of you."

You laughed at Tracy in spite of the fact that you felt like crying. "It's the least I could do." Then you took a deep breath and said, "I was wondering if there is any way you can help me? I don't want to end up with Bradley having to pay you if you give me advice over the phone or anything like that. But I think I need some help right now even though he should be back on Wednesday."

"Your boyfriend basically has me on retainer for you. What do you need?" Tracy asked.

"Retainer?" you asked. No, that couldn't be right.

"I was given explicit instructions to help you with anything you might call about. We're not going to worry about any billing, because he certainly wasn't worried, okay? What can I do for you?"

You sucked in a deep breath as you paced around the kitchen. You felt defeated. That damn USB drive was on top of the refrigerator. The coffee machine you could barely figure out how to use was on the counter. The list of phone numbers in Bradley's handwriting was on the table. So you walked out back and forced yourself to say, "I think Meredith broke into my rental which I had already moved out of. And I saw her at a gas station before that."

There was a long enough pause that you were about to repeat yourself, but then she said, "I think that if she did break into your rental, it was purely out of spite. Because I actually have some news about Meredith that I was waiting to tell Bradley. But I think you and I should have a conversation first, and then you should decide if you want to call the police."

---------------------------

Bradley just wanted to get off this aircraft carrier. He had one night left in this fucking bunk with Carl, and then he could go home to his cozy house and sweet son and your warm, welcoming body. Maybe you'd let him snuggle with you and Noah on the couch, and then after Noah's bedtime, he could take you to bed. He couldn't stop thinking about every single way he wanted to have you. And then he could fall asleep with you wrapped up in his arms and your soft breath on his skin.

He was almost getting hard just thinking about it. It had been a long time since he had someone to come home to, someone who was waiting just for him. He felt like he wanted to reward you for it. God, he wanted to give you everything. He had to tuck his hands up behind his head in his bunk and force himself to try to go to sleep. But he dreamed about your voice and your fingertips on his face.

The following day went quickly as they docked in the afternoon. Once he was able to text you, Bradley was pleased to see that you were more responsive.

I'm docked, Princess. We got in a little early, but I haven't deboarded yet. I know you're at work, but I can't wait to see you whenever you can come pick me up.

My Princess: I'll be there by four with Noah. We missed you so much!

When he was able to finally collect his things and start down the ramp, Bradley's heart was thudding in his ears. It wasn't four o'clock yet, and he knew he might have to wait for you to get there, but then he was pleasantly surprised. As he started walking along the fence to the parking lot, he spotted his Bronco in the last aisle. You had parked it away from everything and everything else, and that brought a smile to his face.

And then he saw you, carrying Noah and hurrying toward him in your new work scrubs that he hadn't even seen yet. A smile broke out on his face as he rushed to close the distance. "Noah! Princess!"

"Daddy!" Noah squealed with delight, practically jumping from your arms to his. Bradley wrapped Noah up in his right arm and kissed him all over his face, reaching for you at the same time with his free hand. "I love you, Bub. Did you have fun with Princess?"

But you hesitated. And when Bradley met your eyes, he was still reaching for you, but you were only very slowly stepping toward him. "Come here," he rasped, slipping his arm around your waist until you were snug at his side. "I love you." Those words seemed to do the trick as you melted against him, and your chin tipped up as you looked at him.

"I missed you so much," you told him, your voice soft and maybe a little sad? And Bradley kissed you hard and heady in front of everyone including Noah, letting his hand rest on the swell of your butt. He didn't care. You belonged with him. He wanted you there forever.

But even though you were clinging to his uniform shirt now and returning his kisses with a soft moan, he could tell you were holding back. He trailed a few kisses along your jaw back toward your ear and whispered, "I love you, Baby," and you shivered for him. But when he reached for your hand, he found it was bandaged up. And you looked at him with barely concealed frustration. He could just tell something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked, repositioning Noah in his arm and letting his son's cheek rest on his shoulder. He kissed your fingers and ran his thumb along the bandage. "What's wrong with your hand?"

You tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let you. "Can we talk about it later? Tonight?"

"Yeah," he agreed, suddenly even more apprehensive. "We can."

"Great," you replied, leading the way to the Bronco with your fingers loosely tangled with his. And while Bradley walked with his lips pressed to his son's forehead and his duffle bag on his back, he was worried about you.

You were still quiet when the three of you pulled into the driveway and headed inside. "I have a lasagna ready to go in the oven," you told Bradley when he followed you into the kitchen. "Should we start doing your laundry?"

He laughed softly as he put Noah down in one of the chairs and dropped his bag to the floor. "Princess," he whispered, reaching for your soft cheek. "Baby, I don't care about my laundry. I don't even really care about dinner, but I love that you have something ready to go. I just want you to tell me what's bothering you."

He watched you swallow hard, and he thought he saw your eyes dart toward the top of the refrigerator. "Bradley," you muttered.

"You know I thought about you nonstop, right?" he whispered, remembering how it felt to have his fist connect with Carl's face as he made sure he got his polaroid back. "On repeat. I just wanted to be home." He kissed your lips over and over again, stroking your soft skin with his thumb. "So I'll take care of whatever has you upset. You know I will."

You just nodded and let your eyes flutter closed. And all you offered him was one word. "Later."

After dinner was eaten and cleaned up, Bradley spent some extra time giving Noah a bath. The tub was absolutely filled with toys, and Bradley ended up removing his soaking wet undershirt, kneeling on the floor in just his underwear and service khakis. "I missed you so much," he said, kissing his son over and over again. "But I know you had fun with Princess."

Noah held out a green duckie for Bradley to take before he said, "I want Princess to be my mommy."

Bradley met brown eyes that matched his, and he easily said, "I do too, Bub. She would be really good at it." You already were good at it. But something was wrong, and he needed to figure it out. The two of you weren't acting the way he had hoped you would after being apart for weeks. And now he was questioning whether or not you'd actually want to marry him someday.

It was late. Definitely after Noah's usual bedtime. He was yawning now, but Bradley had been so excited to see him, he let him stay up. With one more big yawn, Bradley scooped his son out of the tub with a towel and drained the water. Then he stopped in the living room where you were sitting on the couch, and he let Noah give you a goodnight kiss. And he leaned down and kissed your cheek as well. "I'll be back out in a minute. We'll talk."

"Okay," you said softly, and then Bradley was thankful that Noah was already falling asleep as soon as he was in bed. On his way back out to the living room, he stopped in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of merlot and a bag of Skittles he had stashed away.

After he opened the bottle and took a sip, he met you in the living room. Your gaze took in his naked torso as you bit your lip, and when he handed you the wine with no glass, you took a sip from the bottle as well.

"Let's talk?" he asked, settling down next to you. He opened the bag of candy and patted his thigh. "And snuggle? I've been saving the wine and Skittles for our reunion, but you'll have to remind me which color goes best with merlot."

He could tell you were trying not to smile as you scooted across the couch and onto his lap while you sipped the wine. "Red, Daddy. Red Skittles pair with merlot."

"Yes," he rasped, kissing the side of your neck. "That's right. Now that I'm all yours again, just like I'm supposed to be, why don't you tell me what's bothering you?"

You handed him the bottle in favor of the candy, and you crunched on a few pieces before you said, "I moved all of my stuff in. And I used your address for my new hire paperwork."

Bradley had to hold back a moan. That sounded so fucking perfect to him, he wanted to take you on the floor right now, right in the middle of the area rug. But instead he just tightened his arm around your waist. "Mmhmm, you know just want to say to make me happy. And you did so great with Noah. I knew you would be perfect, Princess."

But then you met his eyes and held up your bandaged hand. "I had to call Tracy on Monday," you said, and Bradley's heart dropped.

"Why?"

You pressed your lips together and looked down at the bottle of wine before taking it from his hand and drinking some more. "I saw Meredith at the gas station near Noah's daycare," you whispered, your voice soft and harsh.

"She broke the restraining order?" he growled. "What the fuck?"

"It was just a gas station," you replied quietly. "And I think she was already there when I pulled in." Bradley was about to rage, but then you kept going. "But then someone broke into my rental, and I cut my hand when Noah was with me. And it must have been Meredith, so I called Tracy, because you weren't here, and I wasn't sure what to do." When you took a deep breath there was a little sob with it that made Bradley clench with the need to protect you.

"Shit! I wish you didn't have to do this by yourself," he replied, heart skipping faster. "But I'm proud of you. What did Tracy say about Meredith?"

"She helped me file a police report, and they said they are looking for evidence, but my landlord is pissed off that the window is broken. He was supposed to have a new renter move in this week, and he's threatening me about paying for another month. He told me to fix the glass, but the police won't even let me. And you and I are supposed to go meet up with Tracy tomorrow." You hiccupped when you finished talking.

"Shh," Bradley said, setting the bottle down on the end table and pulling you to his body so your cheek came to rest on his chest. "Baby, I'll take care of it. But back up, and go slow. Did Meredith threaten you or Noah?"

You shrugged against his body, and Bradley focused on every single word you had to say about the gas station and your broken windowpane and the note that was left. And how the police and Tracy both agreed that there's probably not enough evidence to prove anything one way or the other. And then you seemed wrung out as a tear slid down your cheek when you said, "Tracy did tell me that Meredith was on trial for the fraud charges I brought up against her during the custody hearing. When I saw her at the gas station, she told me I ruined her life. And then my window was smashed, probably just because she's such a horrible bitch."

"Make sense," he mumbled against your hair. No wonder he had several unread emails from Tracy that he knew he still needed to go through. Shit. You'd dealt with an awful lot in his absence. He wondered if that meant Meredith was being sentenced. "And we have an appointment with Tracy tomorrow?"

"Yes," you whispered, curling up tighter against his body. "During my lunch break."

"Okay." He kissed your forehead and ran his hands up and down your back. "I'm still off tomorrow. I'll drop you off at work in the morning, and then I'll come back for you whenever you want. And we'll go talk to Tracy, and I promise you, I will take care of everything." You were practically shaking as he added, "Because you take care of us."

You were nodding as you finally looked up at him, and as angry as Bradley was about more bullshit from Meredith, you and Noah were safe. And Tracy would probably have more information for him tomorrow. But right now, you needed someone to take care of you for a minute. "I love you," he promised, considering how exhausted you looked. "Let's take a shower and get in bed?"

Whether you were nodding in agreement or because you were still shaky, Bradley wasn't sure. But he carried you into the bathroom and set you down gently as he turned the shower on. Once you were undressed he helped you in and carefully unwrapped the bandage on your hand. There was a jagged cut on your palm that made his heart lurch. "I'll clean it and rebandage it, Princess," he said, trying to hide the anger in his voice. You didn't deserve any of the shit you'd repeatedly gone through since you met him.

"Okay," you whispered, and as soon as he was out of his khakis and underwear, you were pulling him in with you. Bradley was helpless in his feelings for you. Very carefully, he took his time and washed you so you didn't irritate your cut further. And he let himself just enjoy the feel of your body against his as he gently held your hand.

When he turned the shower off, he wrapped you in a towel and carried you to the bedroom. Everything looked exactly as it should: your purple crown was on his bedpost, everything was tidy, and the bed looked inviting. But you still didn't look relaxed as he helped you into his gray sweatpants and a soft undershirt before bandaging your hand again.

"What will make you feel better?" he asked, pulling on clean underwear as you climbed into bed. "Tell me, and I'll do it. I just want you to know how much I missed you and how happy I am that you moved all your stuff in while I was away."

You peeled the blanket back on his side of the bed and whispered, "Snuggle with me?"

You looked so perfect and innocent, and Bradley slid in bed with you and collected you in his arms. "Come here, Baby. Let me tell you how much I love you."

----------------------------

You started to fall asleep in Bradley's arms while he rubbed small circles on your back through his undershirt which you were wearing. You had been on the brink of erupting into tears all night, and you hadn't even mentioned the USB drive. And now that he was home, you didn't know if you were strong enough to bring it up at all.

If he knew it was in that box in the attic, then you were going to make a fool of yourself. And if he forgot about its existence, he was going to think you were snooping through his things even though he gave you permission to use the attic. Either way, you weren't going to mention it, at least not yet.

There were too many other things to think about anyway. Like whether or not the police found anything in your rental. And how you were going to fix the window. And if Meredith was actually going to attempt something with you or Noah, or if she was just bitter that she might be facing jail time.

"Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley's arm tightened around you as he kissed the top of your head.

"Just sleep, Baby. I'll be right here."

As you dozed off, you realized you didn't have to be on full alert at the moment. For the first night in so long, you could just sleep and know he was with you and Noah. And then you were out.

Next thing you knew, it was light inside the bedroom, and Bradley was waking you up with gentle kisses on your face. You reached for him, and then his body weight was on top of you as he chuckled. "Baby, we'll be late."

"Good, I want to stay in bed all day," you whined, but soon you were dressed in your scrubs and making breakfast while Bradley got Noah ready for daycare. You hated the way you felt like you were holding back being as physical as you wanted to be with your boyfriend.

And then a flash of panic shot through you. He must have been expecting you to have sex with him last night, when instead you fell asleep as a bundle of nerves. You were still a bundle of nerves, but now you felt like crying as well. But he was acting so normal when he brought Noah into the kitchen to eat pancakes. "Just leave the mess in the sink, and I'll take care of it later," he said casually, reaching for your good hand to give you another kiss.

But you were thinking about the USB drive, and your meeting with Tracy and your job. And you barely kissed him back this time. "Okay," you agreed before picking at your breakfast.

Bradley looked concerned now, and he continued to look concerned a little later as he pulled into Noah's daycare parking lot. "I can take him in," you muttered, but he had already turned off the Bronco's engine.

"Let's go together," he replied, eyeing you skeptically as he climbed out to get Noah. And when you were walking in, side by side, Bradley asked, "Will you tell me what else is on your mind?"

You just shook your head, because you didn't want to get into this right now. But he took your hand anyway. And of course the same girl was working at the front desk with her clipboard.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw! Good morning!"

"Hi, Casey," he replied smoothly, his fingers laced with yours.

"How was your deployment? We really missed you here." She gave you some serious side eye, and you just knew she wished you weren't even around.

"It was fine," he replied, setting Noah down and kissing him. And then Noah turned to you for a hug before he walked back to the playroom. Then Bradley tugged you a little closer to him and wrapped his arm around you before signing the clipboard with the back of your body snug up against the front of his. He kissed your neck while Casey watched. "Let's go before you're late for work, Princess," he whispered next to your ear.

He handed the clipboard to Casey without even looking at her, and you were so mixed up inside, you wanted to scream. Five minutes ago, you were dreading the idea of being intimate with Bradley without showing him the USB drive first, and now you wanted to fuck him in the front seat of the Bronco.

"Listen," he said, voice stern as he pulled out into traffic and headed toward your medical complex. "Something is bugging you. I want you to be honest with me. After we talk to Tracy together, you and I are having a conversation later today. And by the end of that conversation, I want you and I to feel the way we are supposed to feel again. Because you moved all your stuff into the house, which I think is us officially taking the next step in our relationship. And I'm used to feeling comfortable when I'm with you. Okay?"

You pressed your lips together. There was no getting around it now. "Yes."

-----------------------------

"I really like Tracy and all, but I was hoping I'd never have to come here again," Bradley said as you and he rode the elevator up to her office.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, running your hands down the front of your now wrinkly scrubs. "It's probably my fault."

Bradley did a double take. "Your fault? How would this possibly be your fault, Baby?"

You sighed and exited the elevator, and Bradley just wanted you to look happy again. "Because I'm the one who mentioned all of Meredith's insider trading and shady deals in the first place."

"Hey," he said, leading you down the hallway with his hand at your back. "This is one hundred percent Meredith's fault. And the fraud charges were probably coming whether or not we said anything about it during the custody hearing."

Then Tracy's receptionist was waving the two of you past his desk without question, and Bradley thought that was either a very good or a very bad sign.

"Meredith is in custody," Tracy announced as soon as her office door was closed behind Bradley.

You gasped and said, "She's in prison."

"Yes. Now have a seat," she replied, pointing to the small conference table. "Because we have some things to discuss. Welcome home, Bradley." Then she set down a copy of Meredith's mugshot and arrest information.

"What a warm welcome," he muttered, skimming the paperwork. "She turned herself in?"

"She did," Tracy told him, taking the empty seat across the table and cracking open a Red Bull. "Probably broke the window at your place for fun as her last hurrah before turning herself in."

"Did the police find anything?" you asked her. "My landlord is so mad about the window."

Tracy just kind of shrugged. "Like I told you before, it's probably a lost cause. Nobody picked anything up on a doorbell camera, and it's impossible to tell exactly when it happened since you haven't actually been living there for a few months." You nodded, and then Tracy asked, "But if they do find evidence, would you like to press charges?"

"No," you replied immediately, and Bradley leaned in a little closer.

"Are you sure? We can absolutely press charges if you want to."

"Come on, Bradley," you said quietly, even though Tracy could still hear. "I don't want to cost you any more money. And I can't afford Tracy on my own."

You looked at him with pleading eyes, and he leaned in even closer to you. How many times had the two of you had this fucking conversation? Too many for him to keep track of, and it annoyed him every single time. "Look at me," he whispered when you started to turn away. As soon as you met his eyes again, he kissed you softly. But his voice was rough around the edges as he said, "I would defend you with my life. Why would my money be any different? Why is that the thing that is always too much for you?"

With a soft gasp, you gaped at him. "Your life?"

"Yes, of course," he said, brow furrowed. "So I really need you to stop making a fuss about everything else. Because it doesn't matter compared to you. Or compared to Noah. Or compared to us. And I'm getting pretty fucking sick of having this conversation over and over again with you."

"Bradley," you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck. He chanced a glance at Tracy, but she was simply scrolling on her phone now. And he could hear tears in your voice as you said, "Money isn't as important as you either."

"Exactly," he growled, holding you tight. "Fuck, Princess... don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. But if you want to press charges, if there's even a reason to press charges, I will gladly pay for Tracy. She's expensive as hell, because she's very good."

"That's right," Tracy murmured, still scrolling.

You pulled away from him and kissed his scarred cheek a few times before you said, "Can I think about it? I mean, Meredith was probably just acting like a petty bitch because she could."

"We can wait for a police report," Tracy supplied, setting down her phone. "And I can get more information about Meredith as well."

You nodded and looked up at Bradley. "That's what I want to do."

"Then that's what we'll do," he agreed right away.

"Tracy, do you know when I'll be able to replace the window? My landlord is threatening me with another month of rent."

She just snorted. "Send me a copy of your lease agreement. I'll make him cry."

When the three of you stood, Bradley could tell you seemed more relaxed, and he kissed the now dry tears from your cheek. "How much do I owe you for today?" Bradley asked Tracy as he took your bandaged hand in his.

"No worries. I'll bill you."

"Worth every cent," Bradley told you once again as you rode the elevator back down.

You had your head resting on his chest as you pulled out your phone, and he could see your screen as you said, "Dr. Kelly texted me. She told me to just take the rest of the afternoon for myself."

"Do you want to head home?" he asked as you tucked your phone away again.

"Yeah, I'll make us lunch."

"Perfect," he replied. "And then we can talk."

And you seemed fine on the way home, changing radio stations in the Bonco and talking about how you hoped Meredith would have to serve the full fifteen years she was being threatened with. Bradley didn't really give much of a fuck about Meredith as long as you felt safe and happy. As long as things went back to normal for the three of you.

But as soon as you walked into the kitchen, you seemed apprehensive once again. He watched you carefully get some butter and cheese out of the refrigerator, claiming you were in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich. But then you tossed everything onto the counter and spun to face him.

"I can't take it any more, okay?" You were nearly shouting at him, fists clenched at your sides. Your pretty face was all pinched like you were in pain.

"What?" Bradley asked, rushing to you. "What's wrong?" And then he saw one rogue tear streak down your cheek. Something was making you cry again, and he needed to know what it was.

"She's so many things that I know are horrible, but she's also so many things that I wish I could be... but I'm just not." You took a deep breath and reached up on your tiptoes to take something down from the top of the refrigerator. "I just want to know why it's here, okay?" you asked him, your hands shaking as you reached out with a blue USB drive on your bandaged palm. "Just don't lie to me about why you have this, Bradley. I know it's a few years old, but I just don't understand why you had it in the attic with Noah's baby clothes."

He took it in his own hand, and it seemed familiar. When he looked up and met your eyes, you were crying and trying to swipe the tears away. "I'm confused..."

You pointed at his laptop which was charging on the table, and said, "Just tell me the truth," as you sobbed.

Bradley opened the computer and tried to keep a wary eye on you at the same time. But as soon as he inserted the USB drive and the folder automatically opened up, he heard you softly say, "I can't," before you rushed out of the room.

He was still baffled as he tapped on the video thumbnail. And then he wanted to throw the computer across the room. His blood ran cold as he remembered making this video. The details were hazy, but when he heard himself tell Meredith that he loved her, he wrenched the drive back out of the laptop and heard it clatter across the floor as he ran after you.

"Princess!"

----------------------------

Fix it now, Daddy!! You better fix it! I hope you enjoy your babysitter story @beyondthesefourwalls and thank you @mak-32

PART 33

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genshin-scenarios · 9 months

Text

meetings, memories, just for you (lyney x gn!reader)

Summary: You’re a Fatui agent who works under Childe, accompanying him on his visit to Fontaine. There you meet Lyney under the guise of your civilian personas, and it’s not until later when he finds out you’re also part of the Snezhnayan group. However… what he’s more worried about is how to win your affections, as he aggravates (feat. Aether and Paimon’s company) about how to court you.

A/N: Many thoughts and head empty… I got this idea while I was doing chores and really wanted to write it out, so hope you’ll enjoy!

Content warnings: Spoilers regarding context for Childe’s appearance/presence in Fontaine!

Wordcount: 3801

All things considered, your job as an agent under Childe’s authority was less stressful than that of other Fatui you’ve met. Much of your work involved assisting him with diplomatic paperworks, arranging travel plans, and the occasional combat.

While you’d like to say he’d taken an interest in your talents (a hydro vision bearer with a ‘life-stealing’ fighting style), the truth lies in how he’d found you at his family home while delivering something from Pulcinella. You were a regular recruit, and so was weak to his siblings' demands to join them in the snow and help build a gargantuan snowman. (We need more hands! Could you spare a few minutes?—it seemed like they took one look at you and you’d passed some sort of vibe test.)

To be honest, you didn’t have anything important to do save for returning to your base and waiting for other small commands, thus you ended up joining them. What a surprise it was for Childe then, to return home for a visit and see you there; he’d asked if you were working under anyone in particular, recognising your uniform, and asked you to go hunting with him (also for his family’s dinner, so how could you refuse after they’d given you snacks for the road?) And after witnessing your potential in combat, he offered you a place as his subordinate.

It wasn’t a prestigious role, but you made your way up the ranks with enough practice, and his younger siblings much preferred having a familiar face be the point of correspondence between him and themselves when Childe was in other nations - so here you were. An odd inbetween of subordinate, assistant, and friend (loosely termed, seeing as you did your best to not overstep despite how down-to-earth he was).

When he’d told you to arrange a visit to Fontaine, you could tell that Childe was in a low spirited period. His vision started to refuse his commands, and with every battle he’d leave with an even worse mood - all you could do was wordlessly heal his wounds. Your specialty involved trapping targets and healing your allies based on the damage done to enemies, which your peers used to say was akin to ‘balancing the scales’, whatever that’d meant.

Childe was feeling better after you’d first entered Fontaine, yet when he mentioned giving you his vision for safekeeping you were quick to rebuff that you weren’t going to be able to guard it safely.

“Why not pay a visit to Aether, since he’s here?” You’d suggested. Frankly speaking, you were just hoping his usual cheeriness when it came to the Traveler would occur. “In the meantime, I will investigate the matter you assigned to me, Sir.”

That was what you were doing, going around Fontaine in hopes to learn more about the nation’s prophecy. Childe felt drawn here after his bad moods began, and so you hoped to find more clues regarding his dreams of a whale’s shadow.

It was easy to introduce yourself as the assistant of an important noble (not particularly false, since Childe had the mora to show for it). From your questions came responses that either thought the prophecy was farce, or divulged whatever ‘insider information’ they could. Some were quite the gossips, so you at least had an entertaining time listening to them.

“And so, it was said the Hydro Archon would be the only one left on her throne, weeping a sea of tears.” The man dramatically said, eyes shut for a moment of silence. “...Though of course, it’s nothing to worry about with the Chief Justice here. He’s very reliable, and would surely find a solution if it was really true.”

“It seems that not many people believe in its warnings,” you reflect.

“Well, there are better things to focus on if you were living here.” He boasts. “You should try watching one of the court proceedings when you have the time. Once you immerse yourself in the drama of it all, surely you will understand.”

“I will remember that.” A smile graces your lips, preparing to part ways now that you’ve gotten his input on the topic. “Now, if you would excuse me—”

“Pardon me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion of the prophecy?” A voice interrupts your conversation, belonging to a young man with violet eyes and a tear-shaped mark on his cheek.

“We were indeed.” Your expression easily melts into welcome. “Does the topic catch your interest, Mister…?”

“Just Lyney is fine.” He gives you a wink, picking up your hand to kiss your knuckles in greeting. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Checking his pocket watch, the man you’d been speaking to earlier bids you both farewell after exchanging pleasantries with Lyney, mentioning that he was looking forward to the ashen-blonde’s next show.

“A show?” You couldn’t help but ask, curiosity pulling you away from your mission just slightly. “Should I be addressing you more formally, as a celebrity of Fontaine?”

“Just hearing my name from your lips is lovelier than any title.” Lyney laughs, and you wonder for a second if saying such words is second-nature to him. He’s quick to take a proper look at you however, and refocuses the topic. “So, you’re a visitor interested in the prophecy of Fontaine - may I ask where this interest comes from?”

You start to walk alongside one another as you converse, the picturesque city passing with your words. “Well… if I have to be honest, it is because of my employer.” You’re well-versed with twisting the truth into a pretty facade. Not many people are accepting of the Fatui. Your exasperated gestures are perfectly authentic however, when you think about the paperwork you had to do for Childe back at Liyue. “I work as an assistant of sorts for him, and take care of menial tasks or passing interests that come to mind.”

“Sounds like a taxing job.” Lyney pauses, contemplating. “Say… If I had a way to alleviate your stress, would you want to try it?”

“So long as it’s not hypnosis,” you joke, but are leaning towards him nonetheless. Seeing it as a sign to continue, Lyney puts on an easy smile and picks up his hat, flourishing and tossing it into the air.

“Keep your eyes on my hat, or you might just miss it.” Deft fingers catch its brim, before presenting it to you with the inside exposed. “Could you check if there’s anything inside?”

Not sure if you were supposed to touch it or not, you instead give it a careful once-over, lowering your head to look closely. “Nope, nothing’s there.”

“Ah, but what’s this?” He moves his hands in wide arcs, flourishing props in the air like a dancer. Taps the hat twice, and a flurry of playing cards rush out and dive towards the ground. In feigned surprise, Lyney moves his hands to catch them. “Oops—”

Only for the cards to catch fire, and out came a pair of doves that flew into the air, up and away.

You don’t think you’ve blinked since Lyney started his trick, which only left you more flabbergasted at the sudden turn of events. When he finally bows and places his hat back on his head, you fight the urge to inspect it once more for some magic pocket.

Collecting yourself, you clap for him, lips pulled into a true smile this time. Lyney’s gaze lingers on the way your eyes crinkle, and he crosses his arms behind his back as he peers at you expectantly.

“How was that?” Eager for your praise, Lyney blinks up at you with the ghost of a smirk. “Did I manage to steal your attention?”

“You certainly did.” Shaking your head, you bow with a hand atop your heart, playing along with his theatrics as you expressed defeat. “With a miracle right in front of me, it’d take a lot not to be in awe.”

A miracle, huh? There’s a twinkle in Lyney’s eyes that you can’t quite decipher. “If you enjoyed that, I’d be happy to perform for you again one day. Or if you’d like to attend one of my shows, I’ll be sure to reserve you a front row seat.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.” While you’re very much interested in watching his performances, you didn’t want to feel like you were taking advantage of this encounter. Plus, you were technically here for work. “...But if I manage to get a ticket amongst your other fans, I’ll make sure to cheer the loudest so you’d know I was there.”

There’s a moment where Lyney seems like he’s about to laugh, but holds it back gracefully and nods at your proposal. “I’m sure that even without that, my eyes would be drawn to you all the same.”

What a flirt. “We never did talk about the prophecy, in the end.”

“I didn’t want to be just another passing survey to you.” Lyney shrugs, giving you a mischievous smile. “But if you’d like to meet up another time, I can certainly divulge what knowledge I have.”

“Was this part of your plan, too?” You joke. “Are all magicians the scheming type?”

“I was simply thinking on my feet.” You didn’t say no, which was enough to keep his spirits high.

Suffice to say, when you returned to your room that night and finished writing up a report to give to Childe, the Harbinger was quick to ask you about the flower tucked into your hair.

A flower that you did not realize was there until Childe had pointed it out, asking if you met someone today.

Cheeks burning at the realization you’d not only walked around the entire city with this, but also that it was a Rainbow Rose associated with passion and romance. There was only one person that could’ve gotten close enough for this; Lyney.

So of course, in a very mature fashion, you swore to yourself to not let this go the next time you meet him. You wore the same rainbow rose as a brooch when you attended his show, which seemed to delight the magician greatly. After a few more encounters, you could say that the both of you were friends.

…Well, somewhere between all of that, you became aware that Lyney and his sister also belonged to the House of the Hearth, which functioned under the Knave. Your superior had an obvious dislike for his colleague, but you put that little fact behind you. (It wasn’t like a person’s superior defined who they were. If that were the case, were you supposed to be as battle-forward as Childe?)

But whether or not Lyney was aware you were also a Fatuus leaves room for guesswork, until one day, without your knowledge, he’d seen you in the distance - about to call out to you in his usual manner until he noticed your company.

It was part of his job to at least be aware of who the harbingers were, even if he didn’t have to know their histories down to a tee. And seeing you, obviously quite familiar with Childe, made a number of conflicting theories jumble in his head.

What was your relationship with the Harbinger? Did you know Childe’s true identity? Were you and him…

Thankfully, Aether was quick to clear up his worries when they ran into each other a few hours later, after noticing that Lyney seemed more distracted than usual. At their explanation of how you were Childe’s subordinate, your explanation of your job finally fell into place.

With one concern dealt with, another arose; if you worked closely with a harbinger feared on the battlefield, were you truly impressed by Lyney’s own tricks?

A part of Lyney’s pride sunk as he overcomplicates the matter in his head, covering his eyes as if to fight off a headache. “Aether, what do I do?”

“What do you mean?” Paimon asks in confusion. “Isn’t this a good thing? Since you’re both Fatui, you don’t have to worry about them being afraid of your history!”

“How can I impress a person that’s seen much more in their life than the average audience?” His words make little sense, but Aether fights back a laugh; this was simply Lyney’s slow acceptance of this newfound information. He must truly hold you in high regard to worry about impressing you.

“Your magic tricks impressed us,” Aether reminds him. “And we’ve fought a lot of enemies, and gods, including Y/N’s superior.”

Paimon agrees. “Mmhm! And Y/N even apologized to us afterwards, telling us to go easy on Childe after he… ah… The point is, they're nice despite working for that troublesome guy. So… cheer up?”

“I saw them wearing a rainbow rose in their hair the other day.” Aether adds. “That was yours, wasn’t it?”

As if conjuring the image straight into his mind, Lyney’s now covering his face for an entirely different reason. “They’re wearing it?” God, his cheeks are burning.

Why is it that every time he thinks of you, just the memory of your smile is enough to make his brain malfunction?

‘Brother, you know I care about you, but aren’t you worried you’ll never get anywhere if you’re not straightforward about your intentions?’

Perhaps it was time to take Lynette’s advice… and as she’s told him before, there are some things that they don’t have to handle alone, so long as they involve the right people.

When you’re assigned to do an errand with another Fatuus in Fontaine, you didn’t think much of it. While you were capable of fighting and exploring on your own, diving underwater in a foreign nation was probably not a good idea for you to tackle by yourself.

What you didn’t expect however, was for Lyney to be said Fatuus; and your brain immediately makes the link back to Childe’s unusual tone earlier, telling you to take your time while investigating the underwater ruins. (And also to get a cool souvenir for his siblings, if you saw one.)

You’re understandably nervous after Lyney explained how to breathe underwater, saying that once you get used to it, diving in is easy. He’s quick to notice your apprehension even as you steel yourself to jump, repeating to yourself that this was for work.

“...But for now, it would be discourteous of me to just throw you into the deep end.” Lyney’s gaze grows soft, offering you his hand. You take it, trying not to look too relieved that he’s simply leading you in by walking from the shore. “Close your eyes, hold on to me… Alright. You can open them now.”

It’s beautiful underwater, is the first thing that comes to mind.

Lyney watches you fondly as you take in the sea around you; colorful plants, sea creatures roaming, and the wonderful sparkle of sunlight sifting in from the sky.

“It’s breathtaking,” he voices your thoughts, though his gaze is on something else closer to him. Lyney clears his throat, swimming forward, still holding your hand. “While I can’t take credit for this, it is quite a magical sight, no?”

Now that you’ve calmed down, you notice the faint elemental energy emanating from the both of you. The way his hat still manages to stay intact makes the corner of your lips tug. “It is. Thank you for your help.”

You’re about to release his hand now that you’ve found your balance, but Lyney is quick to pout. “You don’t want to keep holding on to me?”

“I don’t want to be a burden.” You laugh, untangling your fingers for the sake of practicality, then nudging his shoulder playfully before swimming off to explore. You can hear his chuckle from behind you as Lyney matches your speed, leading the way to the ruins which may hold clues about Fontaine’s fall.

It feels more like a rendezvous than a mission, to be honest. Lyney tells you stories about the times he and his siblings would come down here, and how Freminet was more familiar with diving, though he’s happy to be chosen to be here with you instead (at your poking, Lyney does admit that this might’ve been arranged with the help of one golden-haired traveler. You’ll have to thank Aether and Childe later on, you suppose.)

Your conversation falls short when your eyes land on an otter, immediately captivated by its cute form and the seashell between its paws. You try your best to maintain some professionalism, but it’s clear in the way you keep glancing back that you’d give anything to get closer and say hi.

With a gesture to get your attention, Lyney leads the way towards the otter, offering it a present to enter its good graces. It tilts its head at the romaritime flower in Lyney’s palm, which then begins to glow a warm amber from the inside with a gentle application of pyro.

Effectively charmed, the otter swims over curiously, making little noises as it flips around in excitement at the sight of the flower’s changing hues. It looked like a shifting sunrise, and you took the opportunity to perform a trick of your own using your vision, manipulating hydro to form tiny fishes that swam around the three of you.

How can Lyney put it… If it was possible to extend this period of time for an eternity, he’d be more than happy to live in this moment forever.

Underwater, there is no one to perform or keep facades for. And with you, a part of himself has always felt more at ease; as if it was fine to spend a moment not as the mystical magician he’s known and adored for.

While he does enjoy seeing your eyes widen with awe at his magic, Lyney thinks it’s more dangerous for himself to become so relaxed in your presence. Just what would he do if he forgot to put his mask back on once you resurfaced, and the weight of water became too much for him to bear?

Maybe he can figure out a better way to memorialize this excursion; he’s heard quite a bit about preserving flowers in resin, so perhaps there’s also a way to add colors to the ornament to replicate underwater hues.

A few hours pass as you explore together, darting between shipwrecks and ruins, and the occasional battles with mechas or aggressive creatures. Somewhere along the fourth wave of mechanical enemies you were starting to wonder if Childe sent you to a dangerous spot on purpose to - as he might put it - ‘bond over battle’ and impress your crush.

While you certainly didn’t want Lyney to think you were useless in combat, every time you spearheaded an attack felt slightly performative as you destroyed the mechas. You felt like there was a gaze burning into your back. Not one of hidden assassins, but the magician who’d been oddly silent compared to his usual self; as if contemplating something.

(It would take much provocation for Lyney to admit it was because you looked very cool, and he doesn’t know why he’s starting to get bashful about the way you expertly disposed of the enemies, vision singing with a wonderful glow. It’s almost like a dance - more graceful than violence was allowed to be.)

(In other words, he was trying not to speak unless he was sure his voice wouldn’t come off as unsteady, seeing as his mind was starting to blank at how attractively reliable you are.)

Perhaps if you were on land, Lyney might be quick to join in this little game of impressing one-another. But here, his arrows could only do so much. And while effective, pyro could not travel as far underwater compared to your element.

He’s slowly realizing that without borrowing the abilities of hydro constructs around the ocean floor, he might’ve been fully assigned as the rescuable maiden in this situation.

While disenchanting, the thought also makes an idea spring into his mind. Before you could turn and tell him you were done gathering samples (and thus you could finally go back to the surface), Lyney casually tells you to hold on for a second, as there was something in your hair.

“Huh? But I didn’t feel anything—”

Surrounded by nothing but open space and marine treasures, Lyney steals your breath away with a kiss that ties a promise from his heart to your fingertips. He decided that so long as you were gracious enough to welcome his presence, he would fold to you like a flower opening its petals, enveloping you in his warmth whenever he could.

Even with nothing to threaten you here, his hands snake around your waist and shoulder, pulling you closer as if to hide you from the light filtering from above; as if that would take you away from the illusions of magic that he so expertly crafts, for something more ‘real’.

It’s a kiss to tell you that this is real. This moment, the reasons behind his touch and glance, and the fact that he’d very willingly spend hours and hours at the bottom of the sea with you, no strings attached, without a complaint from his lips.

In fact, was it a little selfish for Lyney to enjoy monopolizing your attention in this way? Not having to fight against the bright colors and sounds of the beautiful court of Fontaine, with honest-but-lengthy endearments falling from his tongue as if stopping would mean one less second under your gaze?

You’d never once complained about his lack of talkativeness today, compared to his usual demeanor which presents himself like a spell to dazzle the senses. Never commented on his gestures that feel more gentle than luring; and though both parallels are true aspects of himself, he was starting to think you understood the grandiosity of his character. Lyney the Magician, who steals hearts and does the impossible.

Both statements were true, though perhaps in a more meaningful way now than in the eyes of the public. He can scarcely believe it himself whenever you return his affection, alert but not evasive of his approach.

A week later, a parcel arrives for you. It’s a glass orb with a rainbow rose at its center, with smaller pieces of romaritime petals surrounding it, like glitter falling on an angelic stage.

There are layered traces of pigment in the resin, reminding you of the day you spent underwater. Suppose it was largely successful of Lyney then, for your first thought to be that the rose reminded you of his charm. Not as a motif of allurement, but echoing the kind wishes behind his actions.

You always liked how the roses he’s made you associate with himself were not red, but pink. The latter suits him a lot more, in your humble opinion.

#lyney x reader #lyney genshin impact #lyney x you #genshin lyney x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin reader insert #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin writing #genshin scenarios #traveler wishes

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dilfscvm · 1 year

Text

Fitzgerald Grant x Female! Reader

Hi! This is my own work, I wrote it and I much don't like to have it posted in other social media flatforms without my permission.

WARNINGS : This contains smut, if you don't like such content please skip it and don't read it. Vulgar words has been used also. Do excuse my grammatical errors and typos, correct me nicely or else I'll block block you. English is not my first language:)) Enjoy reading!<33

Special thanks to the owner of this gif<3

“I told you to stay away from him!” Fitz yells at you, he's in the pit of rage and you know you just crossed the line.

Making him jealous because you wanted to make him pay at what he did to you a week ago. He thought you got over it, but looks like his naughty wife has a better plan. And that is to make him angry. What's on his mind right now?

I'll get you bend over this dining table, fuck you and breed you.

That's what his brain tells him to do. You're his property, you're his and he doesn't like to share. And you absolutely knew it. That's why you make everything on planned.

"I'm sorry, but you really need to stop working." Fitz firmly stated, you're shocked at his sudden statement.

"W-what?" you scoffed.

"I said... I want you to stop working." he repeats as he slowly strode over you, like a lion ready to attack its prey. His eyes tells he craves. You stumped in front of him, face to face, nose almost touched. Eyes raged.

"I. Won't. Stop. Working." you said what is to be said, "I love my work, Fitz, I love working as a professor and you know how much I love my work and you can't just barge here in my office to tell me to resign and stay with you at the white house and fulfill my duty as a first lady. How did you get in here anyways?"

"You don't need to know how I get here, what you need to do is to get all your things and sign these resignation papers and let's go at the white House." his frown deepen, but you can see his eyes averting from your eyes to your lips, his breathing getting heavy as you argue with him.

"I won't resign just because you're jealous of my colleague who haven't done anything but to do his job." you continued. He scoff, he backs away a little shaking his head.

"Believe me, you will." and that's the last thing he said before he walks out your office. You stared at the door where he just walked out of, jaw drop, can't believe that your husband can do such things.

Well he's the president of the United States after all.

You're at his birthday party, talking with some guests. Not paying attention at your husband who's been such a attention seeker for you.

Since he made you sign those resignation letter you give him silent treatment that he deserves. He can't just manipulate you just because he's jealous.

“Dance with me?” you heard a voice from your back making you turn around. It's your colleague, the man Fitz don't ever want to see.

“Well why not.” you giggle and took his hand that been waiting for you to take.

You wanted him here. His name is Race, and he's a colleague, a married man but it's a private marriage. Fitz were a fool, he doesn't even let you explain it, and now, you will take advantage of it.

Race lead you to the dance floor where there's already some people who's dancing, including your husband who's with a old lady which you can recognise as the 40th president's wife.

Well watch me turn the tables around, darling.

“So, I bet he still doesn't know.” he smiled at you which you returned with a naughty smirk.

“This is a lesson, he has been fooling himself. You know that I would never cheat on him, I love him too much to break his heart.” you factly stated. He sighs as he slowly sway you, syncing with the music.

“I know that you cheeky minx.” he whisper that makes you both laugh together.

Both of you continued to dance and talk about random things up until Fitz finally notice, well actually you've seen him, he got his eyes on you. Watching you dance with the man he despise right now, and all he wanted to do were to yank you off him and take you right in front of everybody, specially him. You're playing with fire.

“Ma'am if you'll excuse me.” he politely smiles at the woman who nods with a smile. As soon as he turns around, his face contorts into a deep frown, raging eyes glued at you.

He walks with power, greeting every person he walk pass with a smile then immediately turns back into a frown as soon as he looks at you.

“I think that would be great, I like it and I know-”

“Mind if I steal my wife for a while?” firm, and low husky voice. Fitz says as he folds his arms across his chest. His face shows it all. Anger, rage, jealousy... Lust.

Well you were about to say that you like race's idea to surprise his wife for her birthday.

“Why sure, Mr. President.” race politely agrees as he smiled at the man, not paying attention to fitz's face, looking like he's ready to punch him.

Fitz did not waste anymore time as he possessively pull you away from him by your waist. He then pressed his lips on yours, taking you by surprise. Race sealed his lips containing his evil grin. Success.

You on the other hand, didn't give what Fitz wants. You did not kiss him back making him pull inches away from your lips.

“You like him don't you?” Fitz slowly said. You stared at him, slowly, a smile formed in your lips, mocking him. You know it makes him more hungry for you, and you like every bit of it.

Knowing your husband, he loves you so much, he's a very territorial, possessive, and obsessive at you. Well because you're his wife, and he needs you to know it.

“I love you.” you smiled at him. He'll say it back. No matter how he's mad at you. You know he will.

“I...love you too.” he whisper, as he look down on your lips, almost looks ashamed. I know you too well.

“Dining room.” you whisper at him before pulling away to walk out of the room.

“What?” he asks confusedly. His brows knitted, his signature look. You smiled evily, seductively bit your lower lip as you said;

“I know you like it anywhere, baby.”

Fitz is a kinky man, you must declare.

A knowing smirk were now plastered on his face making you giggle.

“Meet you there, baby!” you turned around and walk off.

Did he waste more time? Of course he didn't. He quickly walk off the room full of guest and walk towards dining room, where you waited there. Wearing nothing but a pair of black lingerie and a black stocking.

“Y/N-” his breath caught above his lungs as the view in front of him completely astonished him. “What's all of these?” he asks, as his eyes continue to hungrily Starr at your body up and down.

You hop ontop of the table and crossed your legs. He slowly walk towards you.

“A lesson.” you simply said when he's already standing right in front of you and tries to open your legs.

“A lesson for what?” he looks confused. You smirk and parted your legs, you hooked him with your legs on his hips and forcely pull him using it.

You put a finger on his lips and it just parted for you, “You know what you've done, Fitz, and now I'll teach you.. A.. Lesson.” you lean closer to him, he thought you will kiss him, so he lean forward to reach your lips but you pull back. “Ah, ah, darling... You need to be taught and punished—”

“Screw you.” that's all he got to say before he slam his lips on you, you tried to pull away but you're too intoxicated at his taste and scent. He kissed you hungrily, both hands on either side of your cheeks. Both with heavy breathings, both were panting, and moaning in each others mouths, as their tounge collide, exploring the insides of it adding more heat down your womanhood.

Fitz grab ahold of your stockings and rip it apart making you gasp into his mouth. But keep on kissing him still anyways. He pushed your legs more apart and start to kiss your neck. His hands were now roaming you body, specially down your area.

“F-fuck, Fitz.” you moaned as his kiss went down your cleavage, to your stomach up until he reached where you wanted him to be. He place a kiss on your lingerie, as his eyes stilled on yours.

“You can't punish me. I will punish you... For being such a brat, for ignoring me, for teasing me, you think you'll get away with it? Think again...” he snarled. You scoff at him. He just smirked. That devil smirk he always does when you both on bed. It turns you on.

“Fuck you.” you smile and press your lips on his kissing him ever so roughly as your hand went to his belt and undo it. He slapped your hand away and grab a hold of your ass and yank you off the table and put you on your feet as he turn you around, panting as he retrieve his breath, as well as you. He continue to kiss on your neck as he unbuckle his belt and push his pants down.

“Fuck you, you mean.” he chuckles, he ripped your panties and thrown it on the floor leaving you gasping. There's nothing can make you more turned on than you are now.

He latched his lips again on your neck as you grab ahold of his head pushing him more to it, moaning as you did. Fitz let his mouth open while he teased your hole with the tip of his enormous cock. Confusedly you is when he put his hand tightly on your mouth, but it didn't take long when he rams his cock inside of you with a guttural groan, trying to contain his own sounds.

You swear if he hadn't covered your mouth, you would scream. You never got used to his cock, up until now.

“I will never get tired fucking this sweet, tight pussy of yours, Y/N.” he whisper erotically in your ear, while you left there moaning in his palm, grinding your hips with his as he thrust slow but you can feel the roughness.

“Now tell me, my sweet, does teasing me satisfy you?” he asks as he slowly fastening his thrust, breathing were getting more heavier. You shook your head. “Liar.” he grunts, he let's go of your lips and push you down the table, making you lay your front to it as he grab onto your hips and continue his bruising pace. He pause a little when you began to moan, as much as he wanted to hear it, you must minimise your moans so no guest will get traumatised, “Please do be quiet for me, sweetheart, there's people outside. I don't want them knowing I'm screwing my bratty wife while I have party to be at. Wouldn't want to look disrespectful yeah?” he whispers at your ears. You only nodded, panting. “Good.” he smirk before he bit your ear gently. He then suddenly pushed in roughly making you squeal and him shushing you.

Fitz won't let you dominate him, we'll at least not now. He doesn't have much time for you to tease and edge him. But he will let you do that later, when no one's in the house.

He spread your ass to watch his harden cock penetrate your wet cunt, he couldn't help but whimper looking at the beautiful view. He sure is won't ever get enough of you.

No one can ever make his cock this alive, only you, his wife. You always turn him on even in small things you do. Like the way you walk, you talk, your smell, he gets turned on easily, if it's you who'll make him.

“Fuck, Fitz, I'm close.” you quietly moan, Fitz was too lost in pleasure. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pull you against his chest as he thrust up to help you cum for him. He's nearing, as much as he doesn't want this to end, he has visitors to entertain.

“Darling, I'm gonna cum.” he whisper against your skin. His eyes closed, mouth open, eyebrows were knitted, pleasure takes over him. “I know you want to cum too. Cum hof me.” he place a kiss on your neck.

“Fitz..” you moan, almost out of breath. His hand went to your breast and squeeze it tightly as he left his other arm wrapped around your waist. “Ah! Fuck!” your walls clamped around his cock that enough to edge him, and leave him moaning as you cum.

“Oh God, you feel so good.” he groans through gritted teeth. He continues to thrust in you as he breed you, filling you with his cum—wait he breeds you?!

“Fitz!” you yell at him. He frowned at you.

“W-what?” he says panting.

“You finished in me!”

Not to be rude but you both talked about having another baby and he said it's not the right time yet to have another one, and you agreed with it.

“So?” he asks confusedly. He's still inside of you, still thrusting very slowly as he just reached his climax. “You're my wife, I have the rights to do so.” he said, he slowly pulls away making you bite your lip. You turn around to face him.

“Yeah, but I thought you don't want another baby yet?” you ask, he sighs and pull you closer to him as he wrap his arms around your hips.

“Jerry's not a baby anymore, he's four—well he'll still remain our baby but I miss having a small human in my arms,” he chuckles. He place a hand on your cheek, a finger in your lips and continues; “I want to have another baby, I know that you also want another but I choosed to deny you. I'm sorry.” he whisper, your eyes were glistening as he rub your cheeks.

“Thank you, and I love you.” you smiled at him, which he returns.

“I love you too.” he says back with a chuckle. You giggle and tiptoed his lips. Kissing him deeply and passionately.

It didn't last long when he lift you up again and sat you on the table before he push you on your back. He pulls away with a smirk dancing on his lips.

“Fitz!” you giggle when he pulls a chair and sat on it before he pulls you by your tighs to the edge of the table. He smirk at you making you part your lips.

“What? I'm hungry.” he teasingly said before burying his head between your tighs leaving you breathless as you throw your head at the back, moaning as you did.

#fitzgerald grant #scandal #olivia pope #imagines #oneshot #y/n #wattpad #romance #tony goldwyn #actors #readersgonnaread

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beenbaanbuun · 7 months

Text

seventeen’s reaction to their youngest member getting injured

choi seungcheol

has already lost 10 years of his life just from worrying about you

loses 5 more when he has to accompany you to the hospital because of your broken leg

he tried to save the lecture until after he knows you’re okay, but he can’t help it when the leader in him comes out

the conversation *cough* reprimand *cough* lasts for the whole car journey and by the time you’ve got the the hospital, you’d already been blocking it out for 10 minutes

“you need to be more careful,” he said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he might be frustrated, but he still wanted to show you he cared. “it might be a broken leg this time but who knows what it’ll be next time!”

at the end of the day he just cares about you too much to see you hurt

yoon jeonghan

if it isn’t bad, he’ll just tease you about how clumsy you are

probably still teases you if it is bad, but when you start tearing up because of how much it hurts, will immediately stop

causes hell just to make sure you’re getting the best treatment possible because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t make you were were as comfortable as possible

eventually calms down when you assure him you’re fine and you feel perfectly alright with what you’d been given

leaves 80% of the lecturing to seungcheol and just gives you a tiny one himself, mostly about how you’re not allowed to worry him

once he knows you’re feeling a little better, a switch will flip and he’ll go back to his regular annoying self just to try and get things back to normal

“well at least you didn’t fall down the stairs,” he laughed before cutting it short just a few seconds later, “oh, wait… never mind, you did!”

hong jisoo

was the only one around when you cut your finger open with the kitchen knife

doesn’t know what to do so he sends a text to seungcheol and shoves your hand under the cold tap for a while

tries to cheer you up but doesn’t really know how to when you’re bleeding profusely and crying just as much

eventually lands on his usual method of doing stupid shit just to get the tiniest smile out of you while you wait for anyone else to come and do the important part of patching you up

“keep your hand there,” he tells you as he lets go of your wrist and steps away from you, “get ready to feel better.”

100% does that silly little dance of his which has you cry laughing instead of just regular crying

you almost forget how much it hurts and shua considers his job done!

wen junhui

kind of clueless on what to do when you go to him with a bloody nose and tell him you got hit in the face playing foot volleyball

sits you down on the sofa whilst he frantically google’s how to stop nose bleeds

asks you to go and grab tissues before realising that you’re the one he’s supposed to be helping and goes to get them himself

winces a bit when he gets blood on his hands but remembers that he’s doing it for you and the grossness of it goes away pretty quickly

tries to talk you through the pain, letting you know about what he’s been doing with his day and what he’s planning to do later

“and then you came in to talk to me and i think that’s it,” he finished up recounting every second of his day as he switched the tissue for a clean one, “and then later i’m going to head to the practice rooms to-”

definitely forgets about your injury once the bleeding has stopped and boops you on the nose only to profusely apologise when you wince in pain

kwon soonyoung

if you could run away with a sprained ankle, you definitely should because hoshi will turn up his clinginess by about 80% the moment he hears that you have an injury

will not let you out of his sight until he knows you’re okay again

unfortunately for you that means you have a permanent body guard telling you what you can and can’t do which gets very old very fast

you cant even hide from him because god knows he will seek you out and yell at you for walking on your bad ankle too much

might be overbearing but in reality he just wants you to get better as quickly as possible because it makes him sad to see you in pain

“sit down and let me do it,” hoshi shouted as he noticed you trying to get a bowl of cereal for yourself, “and you wonder why i like to keep an eye on you…”

you eventually give into the clinginess in the hopes that he’ll get bored after a while… he doesn’t…

jeon wonwoo

freezes when he spots you crying and holding your wrist in front of the stove

literally does not know what to do in this situation because he usually palms it off onto one of his other members

but he’s the only one around and you’ve just been burnt and desperately need someone to help

so he walks over to you and drags you to the sink with your good wrist, all whilst muttering complaints about how you need to be more careful

strokes your hair when you’re running your wrist under the cold water to try and soothe you just a little

“you’re okay, y/n,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “i know it hurts but the longer you hold it under the water, the less it’ll hurt in the long run.”

passes you along to the next member that comes along but will check up on you every few minutes just to make sure you’re okay

lee jihoon

his first response is always ‘go find seungcheol’ when you go to him with an injury, but sometimes he’s the only one around and you look so upset and fuck… he’ll have to deal with this

very methodical about it - asks you what’s wrong, finds out what he needs to do, does it

he’ll try and hide his smile as you tell him about what stupid thing you were doing that got you hurt this time, but tries to hide it because at the end of the day, you’re still injured

usually shuffles in close whilst he’s bandaging you up just so you can lean on him in it gets too painful at any point

he refuses to complain about you leaning on him when you’re hurt because how can he deny you physical affection when it’s obviously making you feel better

in reality he just has a soft spot for you and uses you being hurt as an excuse to let you hug him with no complaints

“there we go, kid,” he rubs your arm affectionately, “all patched up…”

lee seokmin

panics because oh god his kid is hurt and he doesn’t know what to do and WHERE IS SEUNGCHEOL

will sit down and hold you close while he rings around the members to try and find one to come and help

he claims the cuddling is to help soothe, but you both know it’s so he can calm himself down more than anything

eventually gets ahold of another member and begs them to come home and help

breathes a sigh of relief when they agree; now his only job is making sure you’re calm and comfortable and nothing hurts too much

cue seokmin literally becoming your butler for the next 20 minutes whilst you wait for someone else to get home because he needs to make sure that you have everything you need

“do you need more tea?” he asks as you take the final sip. not even a second passes before the mug is taken from you and more tea is poured. “i’ll get you some more, just so you have it if you want it, okay?”

kim mingyu

tries his hardest to help but he can’t help but gag when you tell him about how you trapped you fingers in the car door

doesn’t know what to do so he literally wraps up your whole hand in gauze and calls it a day - it’s someone else’s problem now

spends more time trying to cheer you up than he actually does helping with your injury because at least he knows how to make you smile

tells you bad jokes until you can’t breathe from laughter and you’re begging him to stop

he stops but only so you can get your breath back, and then he starts again because laughter is clearly a great pain killer

“if it’s more jokes you want then it’s more jokes i have, pipsqueek,” mingyu smiled at you as you frantically shook your head, “no more jokes? well that’s boring… how about this one? why did the old man-”

continues until someone more qualified to deal with your gross injury gets home

xu minghao

doesn’t lecture you in the same way seungcheol does, but definitely gives you a speech about how you shouldn’t be putting yourself in dangerous situations

rolls his eyes at you when you try and pass the blame onto another member who you claimed to be your ‘partner in crime’ because he knows it was definitely just your own clumsiness

still tries his hardest to help clean up the scratch on your face that you got from who knows what - minghao had zoned out part way through your convoluted story

lets you squeeze his hand if the antiseptic makes your scratch hurt too much

even let’s you pick out a cute bandaid to put over it just because he knows it’ll cheer you up

“if your stylist gets mad at you, don’t come crying to me,” he grumbles as he presses a kind kiss to the bandaid, “it’s your own fault, no one else’s.”

tells you to be careful before you go running off to cause more trouble

boo seungkwan

very much an ‘i told you this would happen’ kind of person, even if he had not ‘told you so’ like he says he did

will roll his eyes when you get brought back to the dorms with a cast on your wrist, but is the first to help you carry your stuff inside

yells at you if you even think about lifting a finger but complains about how you’re making him do everything for you

you always tell him if it’s that much trouble you’ll do it yourself, but he’ll just glare at you and tell you to stop talking nonsense

threatens to tell seungcheol whenever he catches you with your arm out of your sling

would actually go through with it if he thought you were doing any real damage to your arm

“the doctor wouldn’t like you doing that, you know,” he muttered as he watched you stretch out your aching limb, “neither would seungcheol…”

choi hansol

vernon knows that if you go to him with an injury, you have exhausted literally every other option you have

literally clueless about what to do when you walk up to him with a black eye because you ran into a glass door

google is his best friend as he frantically searches how to reduce bruising

has no qualms with sending you to retrieve your own ice pack from the freezer as he does some more googling…

won’t do much to try and cheer you up other than putting on a movie and grabbing snacks for the two of you to share

doesn’t complain about holding your ice pack in place when you fall asleep on his shoulder… after all, it just means more snacks for him

falls asleep himself before the film is over and your ice pack ends up on the floor… so much for trying to reduce the bruising

lee chan

probably his fault you were injured in the first place so he makes you promise that if he helps then you won’t tell any of the older members

you only agree to the deal when he offers to buy you a meal as well as helping you clean and bandage the cuts on your knees from where he tripped you

he honestly tries his hardest to help, partly because he feels bad and partly because he doesn’t want to face anyone’s wrath when they find out he’s the reason you’re injured

tries is the main word, though, as he ends up having to get help from someone else anyway

he chooses the least likely member to get him in trouble and together him and mingyu puzzle over what to do about your knees

you eventually end up guiding them through the process of cleaning them and then wiping them down with antiseptic before bandaging them

“do you think i did a good job?” he asks once the bandages were secured over the grazes. you glared at him. “fine, a good enough job for you to not tell on me…”

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt scenarios #svt fluff #seventeen fic #seventeen reactions #svt fic #svt reactions #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt addition #seventeen addition #svt 14th member #seventeen 14th member

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yanderes-galore · 22 days

Note

Can I request a short scenario about Gojo falling in love with Sukuna’s favorite lover? They got unsealed first & was discovered by Gojo. Darling tried to escape one problem only to acquire an even worse one

Darling is gender neutral and it’s Romantic Yandere Gojo

~Anon~

The plot was a bit complicated yet vague so I hope the idea I came up with works ^^; I don't know much about the Heian Era so I am guessing. AU where Jujutsu High is actually Jujutsu University for the sake of ages and plot.

This deviates from the request a bit but I hope you enjoy it anyways :) The end is a bit butchered as I had no ideas :( The yandere behavior is vaguely implied, I wish this was executed better but I was working with what I had. Constructive feedback is appreciated.

Possible Manga Spoilers, Please read with caution.

One Long Century

Yandere! Satoru Gojo Story (Ft. Sukuna)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Violence, Possessive behavior, Slight rivalry themes, Jealousy, Stalking, Darling hates relationships, Themes of toxicity in relationships, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

The Heian Era was known as a legendary time for Jujutsu Sorcerers. After all, this era was where Sukuna and Kenjaku originated from. Speaking of which, there was another Sorcerer that history recorded who dealt with these two.

You were Sukuna's favorite lover, out of all the partners the King of Curses had, you were his best. You were experienced in utilizing Curse energy, which made you a favorite. However, you never wanted to be tied to the monster.

Sukuna took you as a partner due to your abilities as a Sorcerer. While you were originally his enemy, he broke you in due to his strength. You were never stronger than him but he liked your potential. Truthfully, your plan was to die trying to take him out.

You never got such an easy fate.

No, instead Sukuna contacted Kenjaku to speak of immortality. You understood Sukuna wished to live forever, but you fully expected to die here. Unfortunately... Sukuna didn't want to waste such a good partner.

"Make them a cursed object, too. I want them to follow me eternally."

You were never like Sukuna. No, your morals were more pure than his. You had the morals of more modern Jujutsu Sorcerers.

Protect the weak... For you are strong.

Against your will you were made into a sealed cursed object. You reluctantly lay in wait for a time where you can awaken. With the body of a host... you can be reborn.

Even if you didn't wish it.

---

For a century your cursed object was passed around and stored. Legends and rumors told of your relationship with the King of Curses. It was often said that you could calm the King of Curses if things ever got out of hand.

Eventually, like some of Sukuna's fingers, you found your way into the protection of Jujutsu University in their Cursed Warehouse.

You weren't chosen to be reborn until enough of Sukuna's fingers were collected. Higher-ups realized that if something goes wrong they should have you ready. Which lead to a host being chosen...

And you being reborn.

It felt... strange to be reborn in the modern age. Everything was so different, from the amount of Sorcerers to even the clothes and buildings. You were brought back for a reason it seemed.

You feel like you're being judged.

You can't blame these modern Sorcerers for suspecting you. Sukuna was known for sadism and being known as his favorite lover didn't help. However, you did your best to prove your true allegiance.

Any side fighting Sukuna works for you.

You didn't meet Satoru Gojo until you were allowed to be "used". Their wording disturbed you, yet you try not to judge in turn. They have their reasons to be worried.

Unfortunately... meeting Satoru Gojo comes with reuniting with... Sukuna.

You were told that Sukuna had taken host in a student named Yuji Itadori. Satoru Gojo was given the job of being his teacher and being a handler. Your job?

Stick by them both... and keep Sukuna under control.

You loathed the idea... but you hated the idea of Sukuna going unchecked more. As a result, you comply with the order. This makes you part of Gojo's group.

It also gets you involved with Gojo and Sukuna... the blights of your life.

---

As expected, being in the group started uncomfortable for you. Gojo was curious of an ancient Sorcerer such as you. One who wasn't malevolent... but kept alive for some reason.

Admittedly you weren't as strong as Gojo... but you were up there.

You then met the younger students who accompanied him. Yuji (Sukuna's vessel, according to your intel), Nobara, and Megumi. They were all quite interesting and powerful in their own right... and over time you found yourself attached to them.

Then there was Sukuna, the King of Curses and your supposed lover. He festered within Yuji, much to your disgust. You dreaded whenever he took control.

You could never have a normal conversation with Yuji without Sukuna popping in to taunt you. He was unfortunately still flirtatious, seeing you as his lover. He didn't care if you hated him... just like all those years ago.

You wished you could just stay enemies with him.

You wished you weren't brought back.

Arguments often occurred between you and Sukuna. It was usually verbal as Gojo was around to prevent physical fights. For the sake of everyone around you.

Speaking of Gojo, you often spoke with him. You both often acted as mentors and guardians to your group. Originally, the air between you was tense.

Then Gojo realized he could get along with a strong Sorcerer such as you from ancient times.

You don't mind Gojo at first. He helps you adapt to modern times now that you're able to be out and about around other people. You two even bond well in battle against Curses.

Sukuna often mocks the fact Gojo is so close to you. The King of Curses is still possessive of his remaining lover. You often hear Sukuna vowing to take you back once he takes full control of his vessel, Yuji.

You plan on preventing that with Gojo.

You help Gojo train his students. For the most part you stay out of the way of other activities unless it's Sukuna related. Occasionally you even help with Kenjaku issues once those become known.

Soon months begin to pass and Gojo grows more... intrigued. He knew attachments could be dangerous, especially with an individual as mysterious as you. However...

It didn't stop Gojo from falling for someone he shouldn't have.

Gojo's obsession with you doesn't go unnoticed by Sukuna. In fact, he often acts out more around Gojo. Which leads to more work for you.

You begin to notice things when Gojo leaves your side less. He often excuses his actions as the higher-ups just wanting to keep you monitored. You believe it since Gojo is technically monitoring two dangerous Sorcerers.

In reality, Gojo can't keep his eyes off you.

He originally didn't want to think of the idea of being in love with you. Yet despite the difference in your eras and origins, Gojo still managed to be playful and interested in you. You even played along.

If anyone was worthy of Satoru Gojo...

It was you.

---

Gojo is really your only guide to getting around this new age. You have power, but without him you could've been misguided. At least, Gojo seems to think so.

As you work with Jujutsu University, Gojo only seems to grow closer to you. He often asks how you manage to get Sukuna under control and what you've learned throughout the ages. If anything, you're the most valuable asset he and the rest of the Sorcerers has other than Yuji/Sukuna himself.

Gojo's strange behavior doesn't get better as you work with him. It perplexes you. After all, you aren't that much of a threat. So why is he so close at all times?

If only you knew the true extent to his feelings.

You haven't thought much of romantic relationships due to your circumstances. After all, Sukuna is still around and he's turned you off to such relationships. Which is why it disturbs you when you notice Gojo's... obsession.

It's fitting that the strongest craves the strong, no matter how forbidden it is.

However, when you see the signs, you're reminded of how you were treated all those years ago. The possessive glares, then hostility towards those who don't accept you... it's familiar.

Gojo's much nicer and more playful than Sukuna...

But it appears they're both their own type of monster.

Whenever Gojo pulls you into an embrace, you shove him away. Whenever he playfully teases you, you go cold. You don't wish to be trapped again....

Yet Gojo never stops to consider his actions....

His hold on you is always tight. His confession for you was rather sudden once he did say it. When you tried to refuse, his behavior didn't change.

In fact he only seemed more violent towards those you fought against... Including Sukuna.

"We're good partners, aren't we?" He asked you, a smile on his face. "So wouldn't we be good... romantically?"

You hate that you still persist even now.

Even now, when you just want to rest, Gojo's there. You begin to dislike company of any type by this point. Yet you're forced to endure as a Jujutsu Sorcerer.

Originally you could deal with him being overly affectionate. The hugs were even originally comforting. You kept telling him you didn't like him romantically, but he seemed to ignore such a thought. You were tired of him constantly being by your side no matter where you go.

Although, snapping would only bring you trouble.

If you snapped, the higher-ups would order you exorcised and their control over Sukuna would falter. That or Gojo himself would seal you so you're harmless. As much as you hated it...

A century ago you told yourself serving Sukuna was your duty. Now, in modern times, you tell yourself that serving alongside Gojo is your duty. It didn't matter what happened as long as the weak were protected....

It was once again your duty to please.

Gojo was so focused on you two being strong together, he never thought about what you think. In his eyes, the strong belong together. No matter what.

Instead of piercing red eyes, you're met with glowing blue ones. Instead of the King of Curses, it's the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer. There may be differences...

But in the end you're still left with a monster...

A monster that has so much more power over you... A monster that claims to love you... Just to take everything you have all over again.

A long century has passed... and nothing has changed.

"We'll be unstoppable, won't we, baby?"

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 8 months

Text

With Discretion - Part 2 **

Part 2 is here! We'll get to learn more about Harry's side of things and be exposed to a bit more of the mess Caleb is in, and of course...the reconnection of Y/N & Harry! I hope you guys like it! I think there will be a 3rd/final part to this fic:) Read Part 1 HERE & find my masterlist HERE.

Warnings: verbal argument, dirty talk, oral (f-receiving), hand job, p in v (unprotected), creampie, breast play, infidelity,

WC: 14.2K

… SIX MONTHS AGO …

When Harry saw your smiling face at the bar, asking him about some fictional business trip to Tokyo, his lips involuntarily turned up in a smile. He hadn’t forgotten about you because you had dropped a huge bomb on him when you revealed to him that his CFO was married. He didn’t care too much about his employees’ personal lives, but after learning that he started to notice how big of a flirt he was around the office. Those observations then led to him dedicating the occasional thought to you and how you might be fairing. He was pleased to see that you seemed to be doing well.

But there was also a part of him that felt sad for you . He thought that perhaps the knowledge of yet another lie Caleb had told you would weigh heavily on you and surely break you but he was surprised that as the night carried on you were the most composed out of your friends. You didn’t seem like you were upset in the slightest even as you drank, which was what usually drew the emotions out of people. You were having fun and singing and dancing, talking with everyone as if your life was a dream. Harry wanted to get in your head and see for himself what it was that you were thinking; he couldn’t stop looking at you…you were too beautiful to not draw his gaze so he kept looking until you were looking back just as much. And after an hour he was planted beside you, talking to you and flirting a bit and it didn’t seem to bother you. You were flirting back and he was having a lot of fun getting to know you. You were smart and kind and so much fun to be around!

What he was enjoying the most was that you seemed to be on the same wavelength internally and that was rare for him to find. Harry was great at connecting with people on the surface, but it was special for him to meet someone who made him feel like they got him. And you seemed to get him really well, he could feel this pull…an attraction that he hadn’t felt to another person in far too long, and it was electrifying and it was keeping him on his toes. He knew that there was nothing he could do to fix your situation with Caleb, but he wanted to go out of his way and shower you with kindness and chivalry while he could and maybe something in your head would click and make you leave that sorry son of a bitch, Caleb. “Harry?” You said as you came up to him.

“Yeah?” He asked, placing a hand at the middle of your back as he leaned his ear down to your mouth.

“I think I’m gonna head out. Cecilia is way too drunk, I want to get her back to the hotel before she blacks out on me somewhere and I can’t do anything about it.” You explained, “But thank you for including us tonight, it was so kind of you!”

“S’not a problem! And look, I have a car waiting around the block, I can help you take Cecilia to her hotel. Are you also staying there?”

“Yeah, we all are! But don’t worry about it! Stay and enjoy, have fun!” You assured him.

“Don’t know how much fun I can have after you’re gone, love.” He flirted and you smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment.

“Sure, sure…”

“I’m serious and also about taking you guys! I’ll feel better knowing I left you both safe and sound, alright? Please, s’no bother at all.” He said over the music and you sighed.

“OK, alright. I really do appreciate it, Harry.” You said with gratitude drenching your expression.

“Not a problem. Alright, let’s get to it.” He said as you started to get your things together.

Of course, there was a bit of traffic, even at 1am, and he watched as you ran your fingers through the top of your friend’s hair before gently massaging her scalp after she had laid down in your lap. He wanted to feel you like that; to be close to you and to smell your perfume and feel your fingers in his hair as he dozed off.

He continued talking to you, this time asking if you worked or if you had any projects you did in your spare time. And well, he learned that you ran your own event planning company, you had two masters degrees, one in Business Strategy & Leadership and the other in Finance & Accounting. You also enjoyed music, cooking, swimming, and traveling. Between the two of you, you had a lot in common, talking made the drive go by way too soon. But when you arrived at the hotel you two were in stitches as you tried to get Cecilia out of the car.

“I wonder if they have a wheelchair? Or maybe they’ll let us use one of the little luggage carts the bell boys use?” You asked through your laughter and he sputtered out a laugh.

“Unlikely. I ummm, I’m positive I can carry her.” He said to you.

“Oh my god, no. You’ve done more than enough tonight, Harry-”

“Just let me show off a bit, alright Y/N?” He teased and you giggled.

“Don’t think you need to carry Ceclia for that, but alright…” you smirked and he chuckled.

He was careful as he pulled her out of the car and well, he asked you to ensure the skirt of her dress wasn’t ridden up before you made your way inside. He noticed how friendly you were with the staff as well and that put a another good feeling about you in his chest. He wanted to know…to understand… to be able to rationalize Cal’s infidelity because from everything he had seen so far you were an angel in the flesh. Sure, some people were totally fake and had this dark side hidden within them. He’d fallen victim to that since he was young because of his family’s money and well, now his own money, so he could tell those people apart with ease now and if you were one of them he was none the wiser.

Before he knew it you guys were in the lift and you were looking through your friend’s bag for her room key. You looked relieved to find it and then shared a story about how one time in university the “responsible friend” was given the room key but lost her purse at some bar, so you all had to wait to get a replacement at the front desk. However, they had all been quite drunk so it complicated a fairly simple plan and a few of them ended up blacked out in the hallway and you and another girl had to drag them into the room when you got the replacement key.

“Are you the put-together friend, then?” Harry asked and you giggled.

“After my undergrad, yes.” You said and he chuckled.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, I was the only one who was going to grad school. I got into the Marshall School of Business on a really good scholarship, I couldn’t do anything to risk losing that. I had to have my wits about me at all times. The USC network is just so extensive, especially in LA, so I would probably run into another alumnus randomly at a taco bell at midnight. They’re very gossipy as well so while in school it’s good to just be on your best behavior.” You explained to him.

But soon enough you were leaving Cecilia in her room and he just wasn’t ready to leave you yet. So he offered to take you up to your room. Yeah, he’d been thinking about possibly kissing you or more throughout the night because there was chemistry between the two of you. The electricity was buzzing and he wanted so badly to see what would come of all of that attraction in an intimate setting, but you were married…to his CFO nonetheless! And well, he just had to ask you about what the deal was between you and Caleb. And he was shocked to learn that you’d been married to him for seven years though because Caleb had never once mentioned a wife and had always brought other dates around for parties or work outings and he felt angry at Caleb now. He wanted to tell you that this one affair wasn’t the only one, but that wasn’t his business to share. But it was shocking to him…he didn’t know how you kept your composure when you knew about his infidelity…he mentioned something about getting revenge on Caleb and he got a bit worried when your expression changed, maybe he had pushed you too far? And he was awaiting your response.

“I mean…thankfully, I don’t think I need that validation from anyone else.” You explained. Harry’s lips turned up in a smile as soon as he heard the words leaving your mouth, “I know who I am and I am happy with who I am, in every way. And not to sound arrogant, but I know what I bring to the table as a partner and if that’s not enough for someone then… their loss.” You said with ease.

Harry was absolutely blown away. He felt like his world had come to a screeching halt at your response. If he didn’t already like you before, he did a whole heck of a lot more now. He’d never met a person more put together than you and it was like a breath of fresh air. He had done a lot of challenging and painful work on himself in therapy, so he often found that most people lacked in self-worth or had no self-awareness, but you did. You were at his level mentally and emotionally and in truth, he had struggled finding partners because there was never really anyone out there who seemed to be on his level as well. If you’d been on a date he would’ve proposed to you then and there.

“You’re absolutely extraordinary.” He said without a single hint of inhibition.

And well, next thing he knew you were kissing ardently and then he was making you come over and over, showing you exactly how you deserved to be loved on. He was showing you how he would love on you if he were your man. And just getting to sink into you…he hadn’t had an experience that pleasurable in years. He was infatuated with your body and how it reacted to his. He wanted to ask you what felt good because he needed to make sure that he was doing exactly what you liked so that you could get off with intent. And hearing his name dripping from your beautiful lips was otherworldly. Everything about you was perfect and he made sure that he was treating you as such. You definitely needed the fuck, but you needed his tenderness and romancing just a little bit more. You needed to feel appreciated and seen above all else and he was going to give that to you while it was his chance to. Because as much as he was enamored with every part of you and longed to get lost in you, he knew that this was a first and last. A mere fluke of luck in his insignificant existence on this earth.

After everything he did to you, you had passed out almost immediately after he had cleaned you up. You were tucked safely into his side, cheek smushed against his brawny chest. His right leg was tucked securely in-between yours and his hand was smoothing up and down your lower back and just a bit of your bum. He couldn’t sleep without experiencing you like this for a bit. He wanted to see your soft and delicate features up close without alarming you in anyway. He wanted to get to smell you long enough to figure out what that perfume you were wearing was. He wanted to imprint in his memory what your skin felt like bare against his.

Harry was infatuated in a way he hadn’t been since he was 12 years old! He used to get sick to his stomach with adoration for another person and he felt it now, that everything was stirring up inside of him. He’d always felt things very deeply, but he hadn’t felt something so big in quite a while. It could be overwhelming to feel so much, to be so vulnerable all the time, he’d been hurt so often in his youth due to the heart he so proudly wore on his sleeve. So he learned to toughen up, mastered stoicism, and became the level-headed tycoon he was today. He taught himself discipline, routine, predictability…so that he wouldn’t ever be caught off guard again. But then, there’s always someone who’s just so perfectly honey-sweet that they get through the cracks. And you were exactly that. Even after your first meeting he thought of you often…another pretty picture that lived in the gallery of faces in his brain. But yours always stood out. He did hope he’d see you again, and it seemed that fate was on his side because there you were resting safely, with total trust in his arms…

The stoicism returned the following day because he didn’t want to risk perhaps being a toy in a game between you and Caleb…because if you asked he would be there for you again however you wanted him. He’d be at your beck and call if it’s what you wanted. But even still, you were kind and assured him that he was right, that this couldn’t happen again and that was that.

…ONE WEEK AGO …

Harry had imagined that it would be a while before the impression you’d left on him would fully wear off…that he’d stop fantasizing about you eventually…but here he was, six months later and feeling his irritation swelling as he watched Caleb flirting a bit with Tamika, his intern. Tamika was great. She was the top undergraduate business student at NYU. And yes, Tamika was a beautiful young woman, but he had boundaries unlike some people, and she was also gay. Maybe Cal didn’t know that, or perhaps he didn’t care…after his encounters with Y/N he started to realize just how much of a flirt he was. But as long as people weren’t complaining or Cal wasn’t wreaking havoc amongst his employees there was nothing Harry could really reprimand him about and that kind of pissed him off.

“You’re crazy, Cal!” Tamika laughed as she came up to his office door and opened it up the rest of the way, “Give me just a second and then I’ll leave you guys to it.” She assured him. “Harry, Dr. Dopico’s assistant called, her meetings are running about an hour late. I called Dean Sundaram and he said he’s flexible to what you decide. So do you want me to push your dinner plans or reschedule the meeting with NYU?” She asked him.

“Depends on what Caleb’s here to tell me…” Harry said as he smiled at Cal. He had been working on landing this potentially huge account that would be the thing that pushed him into billionaire status by the end of the year. There was some suspense in the air, but when Caleb started to grin, Harry chuckled knowingly.

“We got it.” Caleb confirmed and Harry was elated. Tamika was screaming, jumping up and down because she had been involved in the investment proposal writing and service planning that was presented to this client. This was huge for her resume and CV for grad school. Harry liked hiring students because he felt it was important for them to really apply what they learned in class, like he had. His dad was a beast in business and now Harry was too and he wanted to give others the same opportunities to learn and grow in a real world setting. But more importantly, being a billionaire would help him to launch forth tons of charitable and educational projects around the globe, like the one he was meeting Dr. Dopico for. He wanted to do more and be able to help more people and now, he could do it at a scale that actually made a difference.They all hugged briefly in celebration of what this meant for each of them.

“I’ll push your dinner reservations and update your talking points for the meeting with Dr. Dopico.” Tamika said before hurrying out of his office.

“Excellent job, Caleb! This is great news.” Harry was beaming despite his internal irritation towards his CFO. And then his smile dropped a bit as he wondered if Caleb would be sharing his big news with you tonight or someone else?

“Man, we all put in our piece. I’m glad we understood the client and them us, that’s what it came down to.” He smiled happily.

“Great work leading the team for this account though…ummm, I know I’m more reserved at work but I think this calls for a celebration with the team that made this possible.” Harry said, as his mind shot back to you. He wanted to see you.

“Oh no Harry, don’t worry about that-”

“No please, I insist! This is huge, I just want to properly thank you all for your dedication. Nothing wild, just a dinner? A nice formal one at my home up in Quogue, we can do it there. Everyone can bring a date and I mean, as you know, I have plenty of guest rooms if anyone gets a little too drunk, there’s room for everyone.” He said and Caleb smiled.

“If you’re really up for it I’m sure the team would really go for it.” Caleb assured.

“Cool. I’ll get something together tonight and send you guys an invitation. Plan for next Saturday, alright?” He said.

“Sounds good, thanks Harry.” Caleb said before heading out.

… PRESENT DAY …

Harry wanted to see you again, that’s why he had planned this dinner. He knew that the chances of Caleb bringing you tonight were next to none, but he just needed to take the shot in the dark because he was losing his mind thinking about you and not knowing. And maybe seeing you on your husband’s arm would be the thing to snap him out of this infatuation he had over you. Harry was a bit nervous as he had just run off for a moment to make a quick phone call to his dad that he’d been putting off for the last hour since he was awaiting Caleb’s arrival. He hoped to God he didn’t miss you making your entrance if Cal did bring you along.

“Yes dad, we have exclusivity. Alright…yes, bye.” Harry mumbled and hung up before shutting off his phone, no more work, he deserved to celebrate tonight.

“Mr. Hargrove has arrived.” Gerard came up to him informing him, like Harry had requested he do earlier.

“Oh, wonderful! Ummm…did he… bring anyone with him?” Harry asked and Gerard nodded, “Anyone you recognized?”

“No, but ummm, sir. He’s…married? He’s brought his wife.” He said and Harry couldn’t even suppress his smile.

“Are you sure?” He asked he asked with a pounding heart.

“Yes. He introduced her as such.” Gerard shrugged.

“Was she the most effortlessly beautiful woman you’d ever seen?” Harry asked, twinkles of adoration were already visible in his eyes.

“I couldn’t say…the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen is my wife.” He said and Harry grinned.

“That’s really good, mate.”

“Thank you, sir.” Gerard smiled timidly.

“Alright, I’ll go say hello.” Harry said and headed back to the large, bright dining room. He tried to be slow about it so that he could spot you first but you weren’t there. But he did see Caleb lingering near the bar, his eyes fixed on something else. He was alone, so he decided to approach him first. “Cal!” He called out to Caleb, who then turned quickly and immediately smiled. “It’s great to see you.” Harry stated with a bright, charismatic smile as he extended his hand to shake Caleb’s.

“Hey, likewise! Thanks for having us over.” He said as he shook Harry’s hand quickly. Harry smiled a bit brighter as he pulled his hand back, he didn’t miss the detail of Caleb thanking him for having “us” over. Maybe you were here.

Harry was about to respond when a bright color in his peripheral vision diverged his attention from Caleb; he turned in it’s direction and he swore that the earth stood still as he saw you descending into the dining area. You were a vision. Your beauty and confidence commanded the attention of the room, he swore everyone grew silent as you looked around with a kind smile on your lips, eyes darting around to find a familiar face. Finally your eyes met his and he was fighting against every instinct that made him want to rush over to you with a smile so wide it hurt.

Harry felt the air being stolen from his lungs at the sight of you in that gorgeous gown and the way it framed your body. You looked sensational and his fingers were itching to get to touch your skin again. He longed to trace all of the spots that were exposed on you with his lips, kissing at you delicately and with reverie. He had no idea how he would be able to not just stare at you all evening long, it would certainly be a challenge. He was already shaking off the sinful thoughts he was having of you as you approached.

“Ah, perfect timing!” Caleb’s voice called him back down to reality, “Harry, this is Y/N, my wife. Sweetheart, this is Harry Styles, CEO of the firm.” Cal introduced you two. You were smiling up at him cooly, but he could see the sparkles in your eyes as they met his own once more. And oh…? Were you using the triangle method on him? Harry couldn’t help but gently bite down on his lip as his eyes glanced down to yours briefly.

“Mr. Styles, it’s wonderful to finally meet you.” You said to him as you extended your hand and he was gentle as he took your hand in his and gave it a shake.

“You as well, Y/N. Call me Harry, I insist.” He said with what he imagined was a polite smile, but to you he looked like a kid who was trying too hard to keep a secret to themselves. You wanted to hug him and it was almost cruel to have to pretend like you didn’t know of each other.

“Alright. Thank you, Harry.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“Can I offer you guys a drink?” He asked and you were the first to nod.

“Please.” You said quietly, but with zeal.

*********

You nearly had a cardiac event when you saw that Harry was already with Caleb when you walked in. You were hoping to at least have something to hang on to prior to interacting with Harry. It excited you that he was so excited to see you, or so it seemed! You were just as thrilled to see him, even just feeling the warmth of his hand in yours made you start to spark up from the inside out. Your throat suddenly felt dry and you needed a drink, so you were quick to accept when he offered to head to the bar.

“What can I get you, Harry?” The man at the bar asked with a smile.

“Just a whisky highball for me-”

“Make it two, please.” You spoke up and he glanced to you with a small smile.

“2 whisky highballs and for you, sir?” He asked Caleb.

“A scotch, neat.”

“Coming right up.” The guy said and turned to start on their drinks.

“Well it’s good to meet some fellow whisky lovers.” Harry said, sparking up some conversation.

“Right! I got lucky with this one! Usually women can’t handle whisky.” Cal added and you saw how Cal’s mildly sexist statement made Harry furrow his brows a bit.

“I don’t think it’s so much a sex thing, it’s just the flavor is definitely one to train your palate for. Everyone struggles with it a bit at first.” Harry said and you nodded in agreement. “I mean, in my experience, women handle their liquor far better than any men I know.” Harry added and you smiled.

“I have to agree with Harry. Don’t see too many women forgetting to be decent human beings after a drink or two.” You said and Harry chuckled, but you could feel Cal’s unamused glance on you for a moment. “Well anyway, your house is gorgeous, by the way. Can’t wait to see it in the daylight.” You complimented and he nodded.

“Oh, so you two plan on staying tonight?” Harry asked with an arch in his eyebrows, his eyes quickly finding yours until Cal spoke up.

“Yeah, we’re staying. I want to let loose tonight and I do not trust her driving my Quattroporte.” Cal chuckled and you let out a fake chuckle, but Harry didn’t miss as you rolled your eyes.

“Well I hope you’ll enjoy the stay. I mean, if you’re early risers, the sunrise is definitely something you don’t want to miss.” Harry said, his eyes meeting yours briefly.

“Here is the scotch neat.” The bartender said and when Caleb leaned forward to grab his drink you and Harry smiled at each other briefly, “And the two whisky highballs.” He added, causing you both to turn and also reach for your drinks. You all took a moment to try your drinks and you hummed.

“This is excellent. Thank you so much.” You complimented the bar tender.

“Thank you, enjoy.” He said before turning around to clean his area a bit.

“Well, now I know who to invite to the whisky bars.” Harry said with a charming smile and Cal chuckled.

“Definitely! We do know some pretty great ones in the city, don’t we sweetheart?” He turned to you and you nodded.

“Yeah. Haven’t been in a while but I’m sure they’re still stand up places.” You assured.

“What do you mean? We just went right around easter!” Cal looked at you incredulously and you knew that wasn’t true because he hadn’t been around consistently until the summer.

“Maybe you’ve gone with someone else more recently.” You said to him and his eyebrows furrowed, “A client or a friend perhaps, we haven’t gone there together since…at least a year ago.” You pointed out and he frowned a bit.

“Oh, you’re right…yeah, I think I went with someone else. Sorry, sweets.” He said and you smiled and shook your head.

“S’alright. You deal with lots of people so the outings blur together, I’m sure.” You assured him and he chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah. Ummm, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, can you hold this for me?” Caleb asked you and you nodded.

“Sure.”

“When I’m back I’ll introduce you to everyone else.” He assured before he excused himself to you and Harry and then hurried off. As soon as he was gone you put down Cal’s drink on the bar top as you felt the tension between you and Harry becoming palpable. You turned around to say something to him when another woman walked up to both of you.

“Excuse me, Harry?” She said and he turned his attention to the young woman who had walked up.

“Hey, Tamika! Glad you could make it!” He greeted her happily with a hug. She then proceeded to introduce her girlfriend, Giselle to Harry as well.

“This place is incredible, thank you so much for inviting us.” Giselle said and he nodded with a smile.

“Of course, happy to have you guys here! Ummm, let me also introduce you guys to Y/N, Cal is her husband.” He said and Tamika’s eyes widened.

“Oh wow! I didn’t know Cal had gotten married. Congratulations! I’m Tamika, this is my girlfriend, Giselle.” She greeted and you smiled.

“Oh yeah, thanks! Nice to meet you Tamika and Giselle.” You said, extending a hand to one and then the other.

“Tamika is my intern/assistant. She’s the top business student at NYU and she’s just finishing up her undergrad.” Harry bragged and you smiled.

“Oh wow, congrats! Are you thinking about grad school?” You asked Tamika, who nodded.

“Yeah! Applications are due soon and I’m just trying to narrow down my options.” She explained to you.

“You know Y/N, Tamika is interested in USC…” Harry mentioned to you with a small, suggestive grin and your eyebrows arched up.

“Are you really?” You asked as you turned back to her and she nodded.

“Yeah, but it’s so competitive so I’m keeping my options open.” She explained.

“Well I ummm, I actually went to Marshall for my MS degrees. So I have connections, I still keep in touch with a lot of the faculty there. I can certainly put in a good word for you if you decide to apply.”

“Wait. Are you serious?” She asked with shock in her eyes and Giselle was just as shocked.

“Completely serious! I mean, if Harry’s working with you I’m sure it shows a lot of promise and potential. USC would be lucky to have you.” You said with a smile.

“Yes, she’ll take any help you can give her. I’m going there so please anything to help us reunite!” Giselle cut in and you all chuckled.

“I’ll give you one of my business cards before you leave, that way you can reach out to me when you apply. I’m sure I can set up a little meet and greet with someone on the admissions board.” You said to her.

“Wow, yes I would love that. Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, of course. What about you Giselle?” You asked her and then she went on to explain that she was actually also going to USC but to the Thornton School of Music, it was her first semester. This gave them all something more to talk about before Cal returned. Caleb seemed to have good rapport with Tamika, which aided in allowing you and Harry to continue stealing glances of each other as they spoke.

But soon enough Caleb was excusing you both from Harry’s side and taking you around introducing you to a few others. He wasn’t really flaunting you like he said he wanted to though, something was off with him. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he seemed distracted even, leaving you to do most of the talking to his coworkers while he just darted his eyes around the room. It was hard to focus on the people you were meeting when you could feel Harry’s gaze burning into you from across the room. It was making it hard to focus on the people who kept asking you questions about yourself and trying to hide their surprise as Caleb introduced you as his wife. Obviously, you knew about Cal omitting this information from Harry and from Gerard earlier, but it was getting to you the more it happened.

“Hey Cal, nice to see you!”

“Hey Amir! Likewise.” He said shaking the man’s hand.

“Thanks. This is my son, Louay. He is interested in business so I brought him along to show him how we reap the rewards of it.” He chuckled, smiling at the young man with pride. “And who’s this lovely lady on your arm?” Amir asked and Cal turned to you for a moment.

“Uh, this is my wife, Y/N.” He said and you politely extended your hand out to him. But Amir’s eyes rounded out as his eyebrows arched up in surprise.

“Oh wow! I had no idea you were married!” He said with a bright smile and shook your hand. You felt Cal’s wary gaze on you but just continued smiling at Amir as you greeted him and then his son. But Cal knew you well enough to notice the anger and frustration that were radiating off of you. You made some small talk with Amir and Louay and were interrupted by one of the staff announcing that dinner was about to be served. You glanced towards the table and your eyes met Harry’s who quickly glanced at the seats nearest to where you were before looking back at you. He wanted to sit beside you…but how? Unless you or him sat in the middle…which just wasn’t going to work.

“Cal, project leader, come here man.” Harry called and Cal grabbed your hand and pulled you along. You bit your lip as you thought of something and then slipped your hand out of his and he turned around and your eyes met.

“What’s the matter?” He asked and you gave him a look of irritation.

“Why’re your coworkers so shocked to meet me, Cal?” He sighed.

“Not now, Y/N.” He said lowly, pleading eyes on yours as you crossed your arms stubbornly.

“I don’t want to sit beside you.” You said and he sighed.

“Fine.” He accepted before he turned around to walk the few feet to the table, but you sped ahead of him.

“You can sit beside him, Harry.” You said and then took a seat beside a woman named Andrea. She’d been a bit shy, but you felt better knowing Harry was beside you and Tamika was settling in across from you. As soon as he scooted his chair in you felt his thigh brushing up against yours; it was a tight fit around the table, so you were all a bit close. Your lips twitched up in a smile when he glanced at you quickly. He spread his legs further and you nudged at him a bit, trying to keep a straight face. Caleb was distracted talking to the person on his left and so Harry reached off to the side, as if he was going to grab his chair, but then you felt his fingers just graze the outside of your thigh. The slit on your dress leaving your skin exposed and available for him to touch. You let out a breathy giggle and his lips twitched up in a small grin. When you glanced up at him through your lashes he bit his lip for a second.

“I wish I could have you as my main course.” He whispered with a smirk and then placed his hands back on the tabletop. Your body tingled as a chill passed through you, you wished that you could touch him at the very least. Every now and again your thighs would brush, but he was mostly talking to Caleb and you were just focused on your food because if you looked at Harry you would end up doing something stupid in front of all these people.

When the first course was brought in you smiled excitedly at just how beautiful and delicious the starter looked. It was a miso citrus salad, your mouth watered at the fresh scent emanating from the dish. And then you felt a gaze on you and you quickly looked up and your eyes met with the girl sitting at Tamika’s left, as soon as your eyes met her gaze flitted off to something else. Over and over it was happening, you kept making awkward eye contact with her. Finally you got the chance to look at her while something else had her attention; you wanted to see if maybe you knew each other from somewhere. you observed the slightly pained look in her eyes and the small frown on her lips. So you followed her line of sight and stopped at Harry, but he was leaned down eating his food. And when you leaned back a bit and saw Cal mirroring this woman’s expression the realization hit you like a ton of bricks. That was her! His mistress. Suddenly you lost your grip on your fork and it clanked against the porcelain plate loudly several times, causing everyone to look at you. You blinked a few times and forced a smile.

“Sorry, butter fingers.” You excused and everyone chuckled before they resumed their previous actions. You look down at your plate of food and suddenly felt disgusted by the fish and vegetables that had been unbelievably appetizing just moments before. Harry cleared his throat and you turned to him.

“Are you alright?” He asked lowly

“I ummm…I think so. I just…” you started and then just shook your head, “Never mind.” You smiled and forced yourself to have a bit more food. Thankfully, there was a nice break between the main course and dessert and so you took that time to go to the room and grab a business card for Tamika from your purse. You were just putting your wallet away when you heard the bedroom door open. You had hoped it was Harry, but when you heard the door click shut behind you quietly you knew it was Caleb.

“Are you upset at me?” His voice was soft and had a hint of caution to it.

“You’ve been seeing someone else and she’s here tonight, isn’t she?” You said instead as you turned around, hands on your hips. You just wanted to know how much there was to it. You were ready to face this right now.

“Y/N-”

“She’s the only person you haven’t introduced me to, but she keeps looking at me from across the table and I saw how you two looked at each other-”

“She didn’t know I was married.” He said immediately and a sardonic smile came onto your lips.

“No one did! Apparently.” You said with irritation as you threw your hands up in irritation and he came closer to you.

“Look, we can be rational about this-”

“I think I’m responding pretty rationally to this situation, Caleb. Everyone thinks we’re fucking newly weds when I’ve given almost a decade of my life to you! We’ve been married seven years and you’ve been hiding it from people for three years?! Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? Why did you even ask me come tonight?” You questioned him and his lips dropped into a small frown.

Maybe you didn’t love him like before, but having to hear over and over that no one knew about you was embarrassing and it was shaking your confidence to some extent. Why had he hidden your marriage so vehemently from everyone? Was it really just to be able to fuck around or was he ashamed of you for some reason? The not knowing was clawing at you horribly.

“I’m sorry. I just like to keep my personal life as separate as possible from my work and-”

“OK, that’s complete bullshit! Why would you do something as personal as fucking a coworker if you wanted to keep the personal and professional separate?” You challenged his rationale and he ran his hand down his face, a physical sign of his stress weighing him down.

“Y/N, I don’t think this is the time and place to talk about this.” He said cooly.

“Then I’d like to leave so we can discuss this at home.” You said with finality.

“I don’t want to go yet, Y/N. And I know I’m in no position to ask this of you, but I’d like to get my thoughts together before we talk about this. It’s…it’s a lot.” He said and you rolled your lips together as you felt your eyes starting to well up a bit as your simmering anger started to reach its boiling point.

“Fine.” You said softly and just walked past him and out of the bedroom.

You closed the door behind you and just took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly to calm down. You hated so much that you cried when you were angry, but the emotion was just not one you felt often enough to know how to deal with it properly. You squeezed your eyes shut for a second to will the frustration away, but you were absolutely humiliated. It was believable and even excusable for Harry not to have known Cal was married. One typically does not to talk about their personal business with their boss, but to blatantly lie to everyone else he worked with and communicated with day to day? That was something else. Once you were calm enough you made your way back to the dining area. As soon as you sat down you felt the woman from across the table looking at you. You just glanced up to her, catching her gaze for a few seconds and she went beet red before looking away.

You could only imagine how she felt having to see you there. He lied to her too and by the looks of it, she hadn’t taken it well. Suddenly everything started falling into place…the reason for why two months ago out of the blue Cal was home more and loving on you even more and spending time with you…something had happened between them and ruined the relationship, if he had been with her this entire time. He could’ve been with multiple people to your knowledge.

“Is everything alright?” Harry’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and you turned your head to him and shook your head.

“Is there another room I can stay in tonight? Or even just a motel or something nearby? I don’t want to be here anymore, Harry. I need to be as far away from Cal as possible.” You said softly and he frowned.

“Uh yeah, there are bedrooms upstairs as well. But I can find out about a motel nearby if you’d prefer that.” He offered. You saw Cal returning to the room from your peripherals.

“I’ll let you know.” You said before you turned back to the table and grabbed your cocktail and drank the remainder in one go.

Shortly after, dessert was being placed before you all. It was a gorgeous tiramisu, one of your favorites, but you only picked at it for a bit, not really in the mood to eat or to chat with anyone any more. Harry would’ve probably talked to you, but Cal was engaged in a never-ending conversation with Harry so that he could constantly keep an eye on you; you could feel Cal’s scrutinous gaze on you. You just felt like the odd one out and you wanted this night to be over.

Even when you all migrated to a lounge room to chat you noticed that he had tried and failed several times to approach this other woman. After about the third attempt Cal just started ordering drinks with reckless abandon and eventually headed off with a couple others to the billiard room, or at least that’s what you heard from their loud and drunken conversation. Harry was busy bidding farewell to those who were heading home for the night. It looked like Tamika was getting ready to go and you’d been meaning to chat with her again, but the woman from across the table had been with her the whole time. But as of now, she was nowhere to be found so you approached Tamika and Giselle before she returned from wherever she had gone to.

“Are you guys heading off as well?” You asked the two.

“Yeah. I’ve got a big exam on Monday that I need to study for tomorrow.” Tamika explained.

“Oh OK, best of luck! Ummm here’s my card though. If you decide to apply to Marshall let me know and like I said earlier, I’d be happy to help you network with the recruiters and faculty.” You reaffirmed.

“That’s just really kind of you, Y/N. Thank you so much. If there’s anything I can do to repay you for this-”

“Oh my gosh, no Tamika! If you decide to go there just keep doing your very best, that’s all.” You said, “Of course if only to make me look good…” You joked with a giggle, despite your low mood, and Tamika and Giselle laughed along with you.

“You’re too sweet. I hope Cal brings you around more!” She said and you just nodded and smiled, “If he doesn’t I’ll badger him about it.” She added with a playfully menacing tone and you just chuckled.

“You guys are all great, I’m glad I was able to come along tonight.” You said genuinely. You were about to ask them how far their drive was when Tamika lit up a bit.

“Dani!” Tamika called out as she looked past you and waved at the person she was calling over. You turned around and saw that, that was the woman from across the table and she looked petrified, “Come here!” Tamika insisted and you swallowed thickly as she made her way over. Her eyes darted around the room, probably trying to find Caleb, but he was drunk and playing pool in another room of the house. When she was finally within reach, Tamika dragged her into her side, “Dani, this is Y/N. She’s Caleb’s wife!” She informed her excitedly and you saw in real time how Dani’s face started to pale as she swallowed thickly, which could only mean one thing. You looked around, trying to act quickly before she puked all over you, her friends, and herself. Finally, you saw a garbage can near the entrance of the room and just grabbed her hand and dragged her over to it. You had just put it in her hands when she started to throw up. You looked away, starting to feel disgusted at the sounds of her heaving and Tamika and Giselle rushed over to her.

“Wow, good save.” Giselle said to you and you just nodded as you turned to Giselle with a relieved expression.

“Yeah, I’d know that look anywhere.” You said as Tamika rubbed over her friend’s back as she just spat the taste out of her mouth. Dani’s tearful eyes met yours and you just offered her a sympathetic smile. Poor woman.

“Thank you.” She rasped out and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You assured her. Just then Harry walked in and his eyes widened a bit upon seeing you four huddled up at the entrance of the room.

“Harry, have you got some mouth wash and pepto or something for Dani? She got sick to her stomach.” Tamika explained to him and he nodded.

“Yeah, of course! Follow me.” He said and they went off with him, trash can and all.

“If her boyfriend comes back can you tell him we’ll meet him in the foyer?” Giselle asked you and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You said with a smile and a nod.

“Thank you. And it was so nice to meet you, thank you for being so kind.” Giselle said as she hugged you briefly.

“It’s no problem at all! Drive safe.” You said and she thanked you as she hurried off to catch up with Tamika. It was just moments later when the man who had been sitting beside the person you now knew as Dani, came into the room and glanced around. “You’re Dani’s boyfriend?” You asked him and he nodded. “She had something to take care of with Harry and Tamika, they told me to tell you that they will meet you in the foyer.”

“Oh, cool. Thanks.” He smiled before hurrying out of the room.

There were just a few more people in the room you were in, but they were laughing and chatting amongst themselves, so you were once again the odd one out. You decided to head off to the bedroom you’d been given and just get the toiletries you had unpacked back into your bag so that you could be ready to relocate. A few light knocks on the door caught your attention and you hurried over to open it. You saw Gerard standing there with a polite smile.

“Good evening, Miss. Mr. Styles informed me that you wanted to change your sleeping arrangements?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes, please.” You said and he nodded.

“Certainly. He mentioned that you wanted a bit of space. I can offer you a bedroom upstairs? I called the motels in town and they are all booked out unfortunately.” He explained.

“Upstairs is just fine.” You assured him with a smile, “Thank you, Gerard.”

“Not a problem. Can I take your bag for you?”

“Oh no, it’s alright. Just show me where to go.”

“No Miss, I insist.” He said and you smiled at him as you grabbed your overnight bag and handed it to him and he smiled, “Wonderful, follow me.” He said and you followed him through the house. You could hear the absurd commotion from the billiard room and just rolled your eyes as you followed Gerard upstairs. The lights on the sconces were dimmed, but you could still see how beautiful everything was. “I’m going to give you the room that Mr. and Mrs. Styles stay in when they visit from England.” He informed you, “You’ll have a balcony and a lovely view of the water from it.”

“Oh wow, thank you. I hear the sunrises are to die for.” You hummed.

“They certainly are captivating.” He agreed with you. He opened up the door when you finally arrived and he switched on the lights. Your eyes widened at the beautiful, modern set up of the room. You swore you had seen this room on Pinterest or something. A king sized bed, all to yourself? Yes, please. You thought as you smiled.

“This is amazing.” You said as you looked around. Gerard had just set your bag down on the little bench in front of the bed.

“I’m glad it’s to your satisfaction. Now the lights can be controlled with this remote.” He explained, showing it to you and then placing it back down on the bench. “And your bathroom is through there.” He said pointing to a door in the far right of the bedroom, “There’s a small cabinet by the shower that contains extra towels and washcloths, you can just leave them in the hamper if you use anything. The closet is in there as well. And the balcony is just through those doors.” He said pointing to the double glass doors that were partially covered by some long, floor length curtains.

“Perfect, thank you.”

“My pleasure. And, I am sorry if I contributed to any unpleasantness between you and Mr. Hargrove. I had no intent to stir up-”

“Oh my god, no.” you pouted at him in endearment, “Don’t feel bad about a thing, Gerard. Frankly it’s…been a long time coming. It wasn’t because of you.” You assured him, “I appreciate your help tonight.” You smiled at him.

“Is there anything else I can do for you before I head out for the night?” He asked.

“Can you just thank Harry for me? Just for, indulging me.” You said with a small smile.

“Certainly.” He nodded.

“Thank you, again for all your help. Good night.” You smiled at him.

“Good night, Miss.” he said before hurrying out of the room.

Once you were alone you dimmed down the bedroom lights before drawing the heavy curtains and slipping out onto the balcony. You shivered for a few seconds as you adjusted to the slightly cooler temperature outside as you leaned against the railing of the balcony. The lack of light from the bedroom helped you see the starry sky even better. And you sighed in relief as you could hear the waves crashing into the shore not too far off in the distance. The peace and silence in your brain lasted for just a few minutes.

You just couldn’t stop thinking about Dani now…how she literally threw up at the sight of you. She probably felt awful and guilty and you wished you could just tell her that you weren’t angry at her. That you didn’t blame her. She had been deceived just as much as you had. What was frustrating for you was that you were completely in the dark about Cal. You thought you knew the man you were married to, but evidently that wasn’t the case. It didn’t even matter what you lost at this point, there was no way of moving past something like this. Your marriage was through…both of you had cheated now, so what was the point?

The sound of a door closing startled you and you whipped around quickly and saw Harry leaning back on the bedroom door. He offered you a timid smile as he started to walk across the space, but it was contagious to see his smile widening the closer he came. He met you out on the balcony and as soon as he was before you he sighed in relief and grabbed your hands.

“You look absolutely divine. You’re exquisite. Literal perfection.” He hummed softly, “Been dying to tell you all night.” He complimented you. His voice was soft as he spoke to you and you smiled at him coyly.

“Thank you.” Was all you could say as every other thought in your head vanished as you stood before him. Finally.

“Want to talk about what happened?” He asked you.

“I probably should.” You said and he smiled.

“I’ll listen if you want me to.” He assured you and you sighed.

“So obviously no one knew Cal was married and like…I don’t know, it got to me. Like I just feel humiliated a bit. Like…I don’t know if he did it on purpose to just, push me over the edge? But like, how did he expect people to react? And I think…well, I know now actually, that he’s been sleeping with some woman named Dani.” Harry looked surprised, “I don’t know for how long or if there’s more. She’d been avoiding me all night and Tamika introduced us and she just…got sick. I mean, she obviously didn’t know he was married and god, she probably feels like the worst person, you know?” You said with a frown. “Like how could he do that to someone? Poor woman.” You shook your head.

“So you’re upset that the other woman is feeling guilty.” He asked with a small smile and you shrugged.

“I know how insane that makes me sound but like…she didn’t know about me. That’s not fair to her. And like, I’ve at least known for a bit and have made peace with it…but who knows how she found out that she was the other woman. From the way he’s been acting I’d say it wasn’t good.”

“So what now?” Harry asked. You knew that his question was a lot more complex than how he posed it. There were subliminal implications that were being addressed without him having to ask them directly and it made you feel just a little bit better about all of this. He still cared. Whether his interest in you was platonic, solely carnal, or even romantic, he was asking because he wanted to know what this could mean for you two.

“Cal said he wants to talk about it after he gathers his thoughts because “it’s a lot”, or something like that.” You responded as you turned back to the vast darkness ahead of you.

“Do you think he wants to end it?” Harry asked cautiously.

“I have no idea, but I want to end it.” You said with certainty and well, Harry had no business feeling happy about that (selfishly, of course) but he remained composed with a slight furrow in his brow as he listened to you, “I mean, what’s the point of this sham of a marriage?” You asked through a sardonic laugh. “He’s been unfaithful for who knows how long, I’ve stopped letting myself love him and have also…committed adultery. Thank you very much for that, by the way.” You added with a teasing grin and a side glance, he smirked in response.

“Happy to be of service. By the way.” He replied haughtily and you both laughed softly. “So you…you want a divorce?” He asked to clarify and you nodded.

“I first thought about it after we spent the night together.” You shared, “I just…realized how much of my own heart had been out of it to like…go through with what we did and not feel remorse or anything close to it. But then he started trying again and so I took that card off of the table. But now that I’ve learned he’s been lying to everyone and living a double life I feel like I’m married to a stranger. Like who was I kidding? This has been over for a long time. So stupid…” You sighed in disappointment.

“You’re not stupid. A marriage is a huge commitment. Of course you’re going to try if you see him trying. But hey, now you’ve seen all the facets of the situation and you’ve made a choice for yourself, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You responded softly.

“Are you…are you alright?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just…letting the reality of it all sink in.” You said before exhaling. The exhale felt cathartic, like all your troubles would be gone soon just like that little puff of air released from your lungs. The silence between you two was nice, only the sounds of the waves on the shore were detectable and it was perfect.

“Can I…hold you?” He asked, breaking the silence and you nodded up at him and he turned and stepped closer as he opened up his arms and you stepped into his embrace. You inhaled deeply as your head rested against his shoulder and his arms squeezed tight around your body, “What can I do to make you feel better?” He asked and you smiled.

“This.” You assured and he smiled, “This is perfect. I needed a hug after this shit show of a night.” You hummed and he smiled as he let his cheek rest atop of your head. A comfortable silence settled over you both before you spoke up.

“I’m sorry it sucked so much for you, but it was kind of perfect for me.” He shared and you smiled, “I threw this party just…hoping Cal would bring you along. It was a fucking long shot but he did!” he chuckled and you did as well, “And now you’re here and I couldn’t be more pleased.” He said happily. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I didn’t know you were throwing the party until we were about to arrive.” You confessed and he chuckled, “He had said it was with a few work friends, so I had accepted because I was just excited to meet some people Cal worked with. He told me to look sexy so he could "show me off”. When I found out about this being your party I was scared that you’d think I was just trying to seduce you by showing up like this.” You said and he chuckled.

“I know we don’t know each other that well, but I know that’s not how you are.” He said and you smiled.

“Yeah, definitely not.” You assured.

“You do look sensational though, you definitely met the mark.” He said and you chuckled a bit before you both just settled into the comfortable silence. He felt like a friend you’d known for ages. He was a person who you could be your authentic self around. It was rare to feel so safe with someone.

“Harry…do you think there’s any left over tiramisu?” You asked randomly, “S’my favorite dessert but I couldn’t really stomach mine when they served it.” You explained and you felt his body shake a bit as he chuckled.

“S’my favorite too so I know they made extra if only for me to take it home.” He responded, the smile he was wearing made evident by the tone of his voice. “Wanna get changed or get down there like this?” He asked.

“I think change first. Don’t want to risk getting the dress dirty…knowing me, I eat like a child.” You said and he chuckled as he gave you a bit harder of a squeeze before he started to let go.

“Alright then. I’ll change as well and ummm, I’ll come by and get you, yeah?”

“OK.” You smiled. You walked back in with him and left him at the bedroom door before he was off down the hall. You watched him until he turned around and gave you a final smile as he disappeared behind the last door down the hall.

You proceeded to slip back into your own room and got your pajamas out of your bag. You also decided to get your makeup off while you were at it and were just toning your face when there were a few knocks on the door. You hurried over and opened it up to let him in.

“Just need to get my moisturizer on and then we can go.” You said and he nodded and followed you inside. He busied himself with closing up the balcony and just waiting for you at the foot of the bed. “Ready.” You said as you came out of the bathroom and he smiled and started guiding you down stairs. Upon making it down you guys could hear the muffled sounds of the others who had stayed in the billiard room. It was nearing 1am and they were drunk, so hopefully they passed out quickly. Harry guided you down a dark hallway before he pushed open a swinging door and switched on the lights. You had to blink a few times to adjust your vision, but then he switched on a warmer pair before getting the fluorescent ones off.

“God, I forget how bright these are.” He whinged and you giggled.

“This is like a proper restaurant kitchen.” You hummed as you looked around.

“Yeah, I usually use this home for holidays. Obviously, we don’t want to do the cooking then so we hire a chef for when we stay here. Or we do a lot of parties here as well, so again, it’s just convenient for how it’s used.” He explained as he headed over to the refrigerator and then he turned around quickly, “By “we” I mean my parents and other family.” He clarified and you chuckled.

“I figured. Gerard mentioned something to me about how the room he gave me is your parents’ favorite room to stay in or something?”

“Yeah.” He smiled and then looked through it to find the extra serving of the cake and he finally did and pulled it out. “Here we are.” He said and put it down on the counter before grabbing some forks, “Are we being civilized or eating from the container?” He inquired.

“Whatever you think is best. But be warned that I might feel like I need to eat it all if we have it in the container.” You joked and he chuckled.

“Plates it is…” he played along and you giggled as he just grabbed one from a nearby cabinet, “We can share.” He said as he came back over and you sighed as he started digging into the surface of the cake to break off a piece for you two.

“Fine…” you accepted dramatically and he smirked. Without even asking he just stopped and pulled his fork further back to make the slice larger, which caused you to laugh softly. “I was joking.” You clarified and his eyes drew away from his task and met yours knowingly.

“No you weren’t.” He said with a grin and you just laughed. Once he got that done he put the container back in the fridge and when he turned he found you already digging your fork into the cake. “Didn’t even have the decency to wait?” He scoffed jokingly and you grinned.

“It looks incredible.”

“Yet you wasted a perfectly good slice at dinner…” he quipped back and you groaned and tossed your head back dramatically.

“I’m sorry!” You croaked out and he laughed and instinctually reached his arm out to wrap it around you and pull you into him. You went with him easily and when you glanced up at him he was smiling down at you.

“It’s alright, I forgive you.” He said softly and your lips curled up in an easy smile.

“There’s like…a vibe between us right? Like I’m not delusional, right?” You asked and you saw him flush a bit but he nodded.

“Yeah, definitely.” He said and you giggled.

“To there being a vibe with us or that I’m delusional?” You asked and his smile widened as he realized what he’d said and he chuckled, his eyes darted away from yours briefly out of the nerves he felt tickling through his body. Then there they were again, those gorgeous green eyes meeting yours again. They were so vibrant despite his widened pupils, a tell tale sign of his attraction. You wondered how big your pupils were right now.

“The vibe.” He clarified meekly and you hummed.

“I don’t know, but it just feels like I’ve known you for a really long time. It’s really nice.” You said with a simple shrug.

“Maybe we’ve met in other lives.” He said quietly.

“That’d be pretty cool actually.” You responded with a pensive look on your face. “Am I allowed to kiss you?” You asked him and he instantly bit his lip as he nodded and started to lean down. You started to press up on your toes to meet him halfway. It felt extraordinary to feels his smooth, warm lips pressing into yours gently.

And when you pulled back the smack of your lips felt like it echoed and your eyes blinked open and then his did as well. This hungry look was exchanged between you, practically forcing you to kiss again. And again, and again, and again in quick little pecks. After the next one he just groaned and smeared his mouth against yours sloppily before pushing his tongue into your mouth. You moaned at the intensity at which he came into it. Your skin was littered in goosebumps and a delicious tingle shot down your spine to your toes and then flew back up to your core. You sighed in pleasant surprise as your pussy’s muscles tightened up and fluttered around absolutely nothing at all in response to his hands sliding up under your flowy pajama shirt, sliding up your back and then scratching down it with a bit of force.

Your hands fisted at his shirt almost as if the action tethered you to reality. You loved the place your mind went to when you were around him. Again, a feeling of safety came to mind and you kissed him back harder and reached for his arms and pushed them down to feel your bottom. As soon as he got there he took over, feeling groping, squeezing your butt like he’d wanted to all night. He also wanted to kiss that little sliver of your lower back that was peeking out of the cutout on the dress you wore.

“Can I pick you up?” He mumbled and you nodded before huffing out a yes. He reached down to your thighs and picked you up before placing you on the counter. His hands were on your face holding you still as he licked into you slowly, savoring your taste just in case your paths didn’t cross for a while again. “Can I go down on you?” His deep voice rasped out, lips smearing against yours as he spoke into the kiss. Your widening smile interrupted your kiss, “What?”

“I’m just…so happy to hear you ask that. Been getting off to the memory of how fucking good you are at that. I came so many times I think I saw God.” You laughed softly and he grinned.

“Like that you think of me when you play with yourself. I do too.” He confessed. “One time I even…said your name when I was with someone else.” He said and you winced.

“Ouch…how’d they take it?”

“Not too good.” He chuckled, “When we slept together…it was way too good.” He said with a reminiscent grin.

“Yeah, like oddly perfect!”

“Right. Like you were made for me. We fit so well.” He said as one of his hands came off your face and rubbed over the crotch of your shorts quickly. You sighed and parted your legs further, giving him more access to your achingly needy pussy. “Do you have underwear on?” He asked and you shook your head. He smiled and slid his fingers into your shorts through the leg opening. He rubbed over your sticky and swollen crease before wedging his fingers into it and swirling around your clit in slow and steady circles. You exhaled slowly in satisfaction, grinding your hips against him, getting yourself even more wet for him, he loved hearing it almost as much as feeling it, “God you’re so fucking wet for me.” He smiled and you hummed.

“Mhmm…Ready for a taste?” You asked and he nodded, “Go on then.” You encouraged him and he kissed you once more before dragging your shorts down by the elastic band. You lifted your hips up to help him out and he just dropped them on the ground as he crouched down and spread you open wider before delving in without a second to waste. You moaned in satisfaction as his thick, warm tongue lapped over your sensitive clit, catching just at the top of your opening every time he licked up. Your toes curled and your fingers dug in his hair as the edge of your orgasm caught you by surprise, hitting you almost as quickly as a strike of lightening. “Oh fuck, don’t stop! Don’t stop! I’m going to…I’m going to come!” You gasped out as you pushed his head closer, you were desperate and impressed by just how quickly your yearning for him caused your undoing. Harry sped up his licks and after one, two, and three accurate and precise licks right to your throbbing little clit your thighs started to tremble and your breathing to hitch a few times before you just moaned out his name. He moaned into you, staying true to his mission as you ground your pussy against his face, drawing your orgasm out, shivering as he kept licking at your clit like that until you felt like you were on fire. You stopped breathing for several moments, the feeling stunning your existence into a pause. Harry’s breathy chuckles against you interrupted the pleasure.

“Breathe, baby.” He reminded and your inhaled sharply.

“Fuck keep going!” You demanded, he didn’t hesitate before delving back in, this time sucking at your clit until you were trembling again, moaning in ecstasy as that double orgasm swept you into an orgasmic oblivion. Your ears rung and your brows furrowed as those magnificent and addicting feelings coursed through every inch of your body. “Thank you! Fuck that’s so fucking good…” you praised and he hummed against you, making your tummy flutter as he started to reduce the intensity of his mouth on you as your orgasm started to dwindle. You swore there were little shocks randomly nipping at your legs and you started to massage his scalp after the hard grip you had on his silky hair. He kissed your clit before kissing your left thigh and pushing himself up to attach your lips together. You loved the taste of yourself on his tongue, it was erotic and made you feel so proud of yourself. “Mmm…wanna feel you inside me.” You mumbled and he sighed.

“Should we go upstairs? I don’t have a condom on me.” He muttered against your cheek before kissing you there.

“S’okay. Want it just like this, just you and me.” You said softly, your eyes flickered up to his so that he could clearly see your intent.

“Don’t tempt me like that, baby.” He shook his head with a devilish grin twitching his lips up to the left.

“M’serious! I got an IUD after I found out that Cal was cheating.” You shared and his eyebrows arched up.

“Oh…I mean, if you really want to. I don’t mind either way.” He assured you.

“I want it. Like really, really badly.” You grinned and he smiled.

“OK.” He stated decidedly. His lips pressed to yours once more and you started to tug at his shirt. He reared back to strip it from his body and he dropped it to the ground before reaching for the hem of yours. You raised your arms to aid him as he undressed you. He smiled and his hands went right to your breasts. He gave them a firm squeeze and you chuckled as he groaned in excitement. “Sorry, I just fucking love your body. Been dying to touch you again.” He breathed out and you smiled. His hands then slid down to your hips as you reached for his sweats. You needed him now.

You tugged at the white ties that were fastening the bottoms to him more snuggly. Once they were untied you tugged down on them until they just dropped down his legs on their own. Your mouth watered as his thick cock fell forward, bouncing a few times from how heavy he was. You immediately brought your hand up and spit into it before wrapping it around his tip, playing with it as he moaned in pleasure. You stroked up and dragged his foreskin to the tip before stroking down and sliding it back away from his thick and leaking head. He filled you up so fucking good, it was too good to be true…

“Please fuck me, Harry.” You begged, inciting an absolutely feral response in him and he nodded before he pulled you back down to the ground, turned your around, and guided his tip to your entrance. He rubbed through your sopping folds, enjoying just how aroused you got for him, he pressed himself against your entrance and you moaned in anticipation of being stretched open around his enviable girth. Your eyes were screwed shut as you waited for him to push in. He started to surge forward, opening your little hole up with his ragingly stiff cock. Once he got about halfway he reached into your hair with one hand and grabbed you tight at your hip with the other as he plunged the rest of the way in hard. You both moaned, shrouded in ecstasy at the feeling of him being inside of you again. You’d both been waiting, dreaming, longing to be connected this way again. He pushed you down into the counter to properly bend you over and you gasped as your bare chest was smooshed into the tiramisu, the ceramic plate scraped against the counter from the collision.

“The cake!” You laughed quietly and he chuckled, but proceeded with thrusting into you and started increasing his pace.

“Fuck you feel so good!” He hummed in delight, relishing in the feeling of your slick walls creating a feeling of suction and pressure around his pulsating erection. He’d been dreaming of having you again and this felt better than the last time because now he knew that you wanted him just as badly. He shifted a bit and then grinned as he heard you gasp when he plunged right against your spot; he couldn’t forget that. He loved just how easily you’d fall apart in pleasure when you were stimulated there.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed as he started to quickly thrust into it, making your legs feel like jello. You reached down and found your clit and you started to rub, making your eyes rolled back as a satisfied smile curled onto your lips. Your fingers were a blur as you rubbed tight little circles against your clit and your tummy started to clench up and then inevitably your inner muscles and walls started to contract around Harry’s cock. He choked out a moan and squeezed your hips hard as he started to thrust harder, you were seeing stars now, “I’m about to come!” You warned and he groaned.

“Come on then, baby. Cream all over my big cock. Show me how fucking good we are together.” He grunted markedly and you moaned a bit too loudly but neither of you had a single fuck to give as his filthy talk pushed you over the edge. You smiled and dropped your head back against his shoulder as you started to come undone. He held you up as your legs became all wobbly beneath you with the aftershocks of your orgasm. He wasn’t slowing down just yet though, his thrusts were getting harder and more erratic; you were impressed by the strength he had. “I’m so fucking close…shit!” He hissed and you tightened up despite your sensitivity and he moaned deeply, “Fuck…I’m right there, baby!”

“Come inside me.” You suddenly requested and he groaned, “Please, Harry.” You keened and he swore he was imagining it.

“Yeah? Want me to finish inside your delicious little pussy?” He panted and you nodded.

“Please. Want it all inside! Need to feel you coming inside.” You begged and he panted heavily.

“Fuck, I’m…oh fuck, I’m coming!” He mumbled quickly before surging his hips forward and then tugging your hips back against him. He ground his cock into you as you felt him twitching with each rope of come he was unloading deep inside of you. Harry swore he was about to lose consciousness from how hard his orgasm hit him. He felt his knees trembling and one of his hands came up over yours on the counter, interlacing your fingers while simultaneously gripping to the counter for support. His deep moans were vibrating deep into your soul, or at least it felt that way as his body was smushed right against yours.

You could feel his warmth filling you up until you felt a bit dripping down your sticky folds. Harry caught his breath as he held himself in you for a few moments before slowly pulling out of you. “Oh shit, s’a lot.” He muttered quietly, “Hang on to the counter for a sec.” he instructed and you nodded as he hurried to grab a hand towel from the counter behind them. When he returned he dabbed at your entrance.

“I swear I’m in another dimension.” You mumbled and he chuckled.

“Push a little bit for me.” He instructed. You did as you were told and he ran the towel over your swollen and throbbing pussy again, the fibers of it tickling you just a bit. You then felt him drag it down your right inner thigh, before he sunk to the ground and cleaned whatever had dripped down to the floor. “Good to go.” He said softly as he pressed a kiss to the small of your back, to that spot he’d been dying to kiss ever since he saw you.

He then got up and you turned around and he chuckled, your tits were certainly smeared over with mascarpone and coca powder. You shrieked as he lunged you onto the counter again and you grabbed the edge of it and squeezed as his lips found your already pebbled nipple and sucked it clean before licking over your supple breast, cleaning it of his favorite dessert. He hummed contently as he sucked a little mark against the the underside of it before moving over to the other one. Your fingers raked through his curls and you tugged a bit when he sucked at your nipple too harshly, pulling it into his mouth forcefully before biting down on it a bit until you giggled in slight discomfort until it dissolved into a moan and he smiled and popped off of it loudly. He chuckled and then kissed up your sternum, neck, jaw, and then your lips again. Your smile was sincere as he rubbed his forehead against yours a few times, making the moment feel a lot more intimate.

“Alright?” He asked you.

“Yeah, just still coming off it.” You assured him and he smiled.

“Good.” He hummed before closing his eyes and you did the same, just basking in the intimacy you shared until a thought crossed your mind.

“Once again I did not get my cake.” You sighed and he chuckled.

“Well you got something…” he joked and you sniggered, “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a new slice.” He assured you before planting a kiss on your cheek.

“Ummm…do you want to stay with me for a bit?” You asked timidly and he smiled.

“Definitely.” He confirmed.

So after getting dressed and getting another slice of the tiramisu, you were both making your way out of the kitchen quietly. You guys could still hear everyone else down the hall laughing and chatting animatedly, though you could tell they were all plastered. You made your way up the stairs and Harry dragged you down the hall to his bedroom, well it was more like a suite, so you cuddled up on to couch he had in front of the TV and you shared your cake as you watched Friends re-runs for a while.

“We should get you to bed.” You heard his voice through your drowsiness and yawned.

“Good idea.” You concurred, but you nuzzled closer to him instead of making a move to stand.

“Want me to carry you?” He asked and you smiled.

“If you really want to.”

“Yeah, come on then.”

But after attempting and failing a few times because you both couldn’t stop laughing or making a serious attempt he just had you hop on piggy back. You leaned on his shoulder and held on tight as he walked you down the long hall and to the other bedroom. He walked you into the bathroom to brush your teeth and waited for you in the room. When you returned, a bit more awake now after dealing with the cold water, you cooed as he had turned down the bed for you.

“Thank you, you’re too sweet.” You said caressing his cheek and he tutted.

“S’nothing. Get in.” He said and you did just that. The bed was as divine as it looked, you wanted one like this for yourself. He sat on the edge watching as you got comfy and once you were, you peered up to see him smiling down at you. Harry traced the high point of your cheekbone with his thumb, such a sweet and comforting gesture.

“I ummm, I just want you to know that this isn’t just a sex thing to me.” He said quietly, “Like I’m not nice to you with the intent to fuck you. I like what I’ve seen of you so far and I just want to be there for you, you know? I want to get to know you. And I know things could get a bit complicated if you and Cal end things, so ummm we can just be friends until you resolve that if you want?” He asked.

“I think that would be wise.” You accepted. “I like you too and I also want to get to know more of you and I just don’t want to fall into something complex that could…hurt you while I’m already in the middle of this mess.” You said with a smile and he nodded.

“Sounds good. And I mean, I’m sure it’ll be hard even if your hearts aren’t in it anymore, so you call me when you need me, yeah?” He asked and you smiled.

“I will.” You assured and he smiled as he reached for the bedside table and handed over your phone so you could unlock it. He put his number in before setting it down on the bedside table again.

“There it is. I’m sorry it started out as a weird night, but I hope I made it a bit better for you.” He hummed and you giggled.

“That’s the understatement of the century, Harry.” You pointed out and he grinned bashfully.

“Don’t want to be too cocky, you know?” He said humbly and you shook your head with a grin.

“Well yes, you made it better. Thank you again for everything tonight.” You expressed your gratitude.

“Course, love.” He said and kissed your lips quickly before making his way out of the room.

You sighed and rolled onto your back with a big smile; you were completely enamored and taken by his way of being towards you. Of course, deep down you were a bit nervous about the big tell-all with Caleb, but you knew you were going to be alright after getting all of the information from him. There was nothing left to fight for with Caleb. Your heart was already drifting in another direction and you didn’t intend to do a single fucking thing about it.

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rebouks · 18 days

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Previous // Next

Hiiiii Robin aka Bird Boy!

Sorry I took a bit longer than usual to reply but dad suddenly decided he’d had enough of the forest and we went back home! I thought maybe it’d be fun to wait a bit longer and show you our house and stuff. I don’t really like moving around all the time but I guess it kinda gives you lots of new stuff to talk about so that’s something.

This is our house! It’s not as big as yours looks but there’s only two of us and we’re not always here so it makes sense that it’s not massive. Dad usually rents it out whilst we’re not here cos he says it’s better for the house that it’s looked after but I know he means it’s better for his bank too lol!! I guess it works out for me though cos he says I can put as many plants as I want in my room as long as I keep them alive so they’d die if we left it empty every time we left. He says it’s like I brought the jungle inside hahaaha, I like it though!

The last person who rented the house was one of dad’s old work friends and he left this cool telescope for me to play with since I’m “so keen about the stars and shit” HIS WORDS! I know you’re supposed to use it at night but it’s kinda fun to spy on people during the day too. Like I’m pretty sure our neighbours are getting a divorce cos I overheard the guy moaning about the lady to my dad once and sometimes you can hear them yelling and see them waving their arms at each other through the window or on the balcony (don’t tell anyone though hahaa!)

I think dad’s kinda happy to be back (look how bushy his eyebrows are though ahahhhahah) he spends a lot of time fishing but I know it’s only a matter of time until he gets itchy and runs out of money again. Half of me wishes he’d get a good job here so we wouldn’t have to move around all the time but the other half is glad to leave. I guess it’s kinda nice here AND I was born here but I don’t even like swimming and there’s water and beaches EVERYWHERE ugh..

I guess I don’t really think Sulani feels like home anymore, not since mom died. It’s pretty and it’s nice but something is always missing so it’s kinda lame too if that makes sense. Maybe that’s why dad likes to leave sometimes too, I’d ask him but he’d probably get upset so maybe not! I was gonna leave that part out cos it’s a bummer but we don’t really keep many secrets from each other so I said it…

Anyway, dad’s a pig and never cleans ANYTHING and I think he got bored of me complaining about how big and heavy the vacuum is cos he got me a cool mini one (it’s a “sorry we move around so much but here’s a present so shh” present but I’ll take it hahaa) he took it off me for a few days after I hoovered some crumbs out of his bed and sucked up his headphones by accident but that’s his fault for eating cookies in bed when he should be sleeping.

Oh and since there’s not many fun rocks to find or dig up here I decided to start up my shell collection again. I found a few nice ones I guess but I really want to find a conch! Dad said they’re pretty rare but you’d think with all the stupid sand and beaches around here that I’d be able to find at least ONE even if it was a tiny one but not yet! I’ll let you know if I do though!

Anyway, I’m kinda sad we left Granite Falls in the end cos it was so close to the holidays I hoped maybe your family would go camping again and we’d be able to explore together again. Hopefully next time we move we’ll move even closer to where you live so there’s more chance we’ll get to see each other! A bird pooped on me the other day though which dad said is supposed to be lucky so I decided to believe him and hope we get to hang out again one day SOON (after I had a shower anyway because EUGH!)

Hope you’re okay and glad to be done with school for the summer!

Love Alex :)

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #alexandra sampson #brodie sampson #alex letter wooooooooooooo #🤸‍♀️#imagine the spying her n robin could get up to with his abilities and that telescope #sdkjsk

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 1 year

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Glutton for Punishment | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hello, hello! I am back back back again. My life has been busy, y'all. School is kicking my ass. But this fic has been like 94% complete for like a month, and I finally got to finish it! yay!

wordcount: 8939

Warnings: angst, self harm, Bucky's trauma

Bucky collapsed onto the bed with a defeated huff. The mattress rippled under his weight and jostled the computer resting on your thighs. His chest rose and fell with another dejected sigh. His meetings with Fury never went well- but they weren’t always bad. Sometimes, things between them were cordial. Neutral. This was not one of those times. Bucky wanted to sink into the bed and never come out. He wanted to dissolve into the earth and disappear. The only thing anchoring him to reality was, as always, you.

“Hey, how’d it go, babe?” The comforting lilt of your voice floated through the air. Maybe drenching your words in overt positivity was too much, but it seemed necessary. Maybe if you could coat your voice in optimism, it would fix whatever plagued Bucky. But you knew it was useless to hope.

He didn’t answer. He just stared up at the ceiling, a blank expression on his face. Coming home to you after a bad day or a shitty meeting was always his saving grace; being near you brought him peace. But he hated bringing the shame home with him.

“That bad, huh?” you ditched your laptop and laid next to him, propped up on one elbow. “What happened?”

Silence. He didn’t tear his eyes from the ceiling. Didn’t even blink. He just gazed upward- hopeless.

In the quiet, your fingers traced up and down his arm. You pressed kisses to his shoulder. He always had a way of shutting you out before allowing you in. It wasn’t personal; it was just his process. He opted to suffer without your help until the pain ate away at him. And when there was almost nothing left, he tore down the walls and welcomed the onslaught of comfort.

“He said it was my fault.” Bucky tried not to sound too pathetic. He knew you worried about him- a lot. Knew that his misery always hurt you. Seeing him in pain brought you nothing but heartache. But his efforts did nothing to hide the anguish in his voice.

You didn’t want to make him repeat the whole ordeal, to relive whatever messed up shit Fury said to him- but you needed context. Your words were soft, your voice gentle. “He said what was your fault, baby?” Bucky didn’t deserve more blame, more guilt. Though none of what he did was his fault, a lifetime of remorse rested heavy on his shoulders after his Winter Soldier days. You wondered how much unjust blame he could carry before it crushed him.

Bucky sighed, “All of it. Everything that went wrong on that last mission- the explosion, all those agents getting hurt-”

“What? You weren’t even the lead on that job- how is any of it your fault?” Heat rose in your chest. Your heart pounded against your ribs. Defending Bucky was your first instinct, your first priority. And while he accepted the shame with which Fury saddled him, you immediately turned to protection. To rage.

Bucky shrugged, “he said I’m the most experienced, so I should’ve known better than to let the lead take our team into the lab.”

“Wait- he said you should’ve argued with the mission lead?”

Bucky nodded.

“But didn’t he reprimand you last month for that exact reason?”

Again, he nodded.

“What the fuck?” Wrath sizzled beneath your skin. No one was allowed to treat Bucky this way- not even Fury. He contradicted himself and put his hypocrisy on full display, knowing Bucky hated himself too much to argue.

“I can-” Bucky’s voice came out hollow. Empty. Guilt had him in a chokehold. “I can see where he’s coming from…”

“No, don’t do that.” It wasn’t a reprimand- but a reminder. You laced your fingers with his, “You know it wasn’t your fault.”

He refused to make eye contact. “I mean, I could’ve spoken up-”

“You weren’t even with them, were you? Didn’t Fury tell you to hit the warehouse on your own?”

He nodded.

“So how is any of it your fault, Buck?” Fury sent Bucky into a tailspin with almost no effort. He knew exactly which buttons to push, which wires to pull. Fury made him his puppet, his scapegoat. He made Bucky work harder than anyone else and never delivered the praise he deserved. Instead, he met Bucky’s efforts with tongue-lashings and bitter insults. With blame.

“I don’t…” he shrugged. “I don’t know- but it feels like it’s on me. A lot of people got hurt and I am the most experienced. I should’ve said something-”

“But if you did, Fury would’ve called you into his office to tell you that you’re arrogant- like he did last time.” A deep breath filled your lungs and calmed your system; anger wouldn’t help Bucky. You needed to channel that energy into comforting him, easing his mind.

You softened your tone, “You know you can’t win with him, Buck.”

“Maybe because I tried to kill him… twice.” Finally, he looked at you, “And I can handle being called arrogant- those agents got hurt, doll. That’s different.”

“I know it’s different. I’m just saying… you weren’t involved. You did what you were told- what Fury told you to do.” Your hand cupped his cheek, he leaned into your touch. “And if he wants to get mad at you for that, he’s a piece of shit. He knows he fucked up, and he’s pinning it on you.”

Bucky pulled you close. He curled in on himself with you at his center, his head resting against your chest. The logical part of his brain believed everything you said. It disregarded Fury’s false accusations and willed the blame to dissipate. But the rest of him took Fury’s every word as gospel. It rejected your assurances, categorizing them as obligatory kindness from a significant other. Shame feasted on his soul. He didn’t want to feel this way, but it came easily. By now, it was second nature.

“Thanks, doll…” He lifted his head and brought his face to yours, “I appreciate you.” He meant it; no one ever supported him like this. But you always listened. You were always there for him, even when he was too ashamed to look you in the eye. You showed him patience and kindness and led him out of the dark more times than he could count.

He dotted a few soft kisses to your lips, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Wait-” Your hand caught his as he tried to get up, “I love you.”

A shy smile pulled at Bucky’s lips. He once again met your lips with his, needier this time. “And I love you.”

He stripped off his shirt and, immediately, your eyes landed on it. By now, you knew better than to stare. But sometimes, you couldn’t stop yourself.

The first time it caught your eye, you couldn’t avert your gaze. You noticed it right away- how could you not? It drew your focus the first moment Bucky removed his shirt in front of you. You didn’t think anything could ever distract you from his perfect body- but you were wrong.

A massive bruise splashed across Bucky’s skin. The cluster of broken blood vessels was dark at the center- nearly black. It exploded into by purples and blues that stained his right shoulder and eclipsed his chest. Sometimes, an angry, red haze leaked from the edges like a wine stain. Greens and yellows- signs of healing- colored the border every now and then. But no matter how many times you bore witness, they never seemed to overtake the tones of violet and navy.

For whatever reason, this thing refused to heal.

On more occasions than you could count, you asked Bucky about this large indigo mark. And he always had an answer:

“Ran through a wall”

“Jumped out of a plane”

“That John Walker asshole hit me with Steve’s shield”

He did, indeed, have a dangerous job and a penchant for peril. For taking risks. But no one else on the team ever seemed to have a bruise like that. Even you received your fair share of stitches and broken ribs, but never anything as persistent as Bucky’s bruise.

Wasn’t he a super soldier? Wasn’t he supposed to heal fast- really fast? His other injuries disappeared like they’d never happened; why did this bruise stick around?

“I think you need to get that looked at,” you told him once, “it can’t be good that it never heals...”

Bucky shrugged it off with a smile. He kissed you on the forehead and thanked you for your concern. But he didn’t get it checked out. He downplayed the massive bruise eclipsing his body and moved on, just like he always did.

“What are you lookin’ at?” Bucky quirked a brow at you, his shy smile making another appearance.

You shrugged, “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“It’s not- it’s not that bad,” Bucky did his best to hide his bruise with his vibranium hand, but the colors extended far past what he could cover. “I’m used to it.”

Something had to be wrong with him, right? Something inside his body had to be out of order. The first time you saw it- the first time you saw him without his shirt- was six months ago. How long could a bruise last? And how long did he have it before he showed it to you?

Why hadn’t the serum fixed it by now?

Bucky was well past his expiration date. He lived more years than the universe intended, and his body suffered enough trauma for a hundred lifetimes. He was strong, he was a survivor. But every time you stole a glance at the inky spot on his skin, anxiety blocked your airway. Part of you wondered if this mark signaled his end. There was a chance that his body already started breaking down, that all those years of abuse caught up with him. Maybe his bruise was a harbinger. Maybe his days were numbered. Maybe he was dying.

Maybe you were about to lose him.

Those kinds of thoughts pushed bile into your throat. You shoved them into the darkest corners of your mind and did your best to lock them away, but they reappeared from time to time just to hurt you. Taunt you. Bring you to tears. And while Bucky made his way into the bathroom and turned on the hot water, you remained fixated on the inky spot. On his demise.

Bucky did his best to let the shower cleanse his mind. He told himself he’d let it all go- all the guilt and the blame. He knew he didn’t deserve it. But his shame didn’t run down the drain. It didn’t wash away with the warm spray of the shower. No, he remained coated in it, dripping with it, no matter how hard he scrubbed. And though it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, he never welcomed its reemergence.

A sliver of levity wriggled into his chest as he emerged from the bathroom. He found you reading in bed, your brows knit together in that cute way he loved. But your focus shattered when he stepped into the bedroom. He watched you dogear your page and shut your book as he climbed into bed.

“You don’t have to stop reading because of me, doll-”

“I was only reading while I waited for you,” you extended a hand in his direction and tugged him closer. He didn’t need to know that you only opened your book to distract from your crippling anxiety about his condition. He didn’t need to know that you read the same paragraph over and over and over without retaining a word. “Now that you’re here, I don’t need any other form of entertainment.”

“Is that so?” He narrowed his eyes at you and gestured to the book resting on your chest, “I’m better than Dracula?”

“Way better. So, the guy drinks blood and sleeps in a coffin-” You shot him a wink and knocked your book to the floor, “big whoop.” A dramatic eye roll and a quick laugh accompanied your comments about Bram Stoker’s masterpiece. But a sudden seriousness banished your playful tone as you gave Bucky a once over. He didn’t look any better- not that he ever looked bad. But the hot shower did nothing to help him relax. All his muscles remained taught. His brow still furrowed. The tension in his jaw seemed to turn to concrete. He was hurting.

“How you doin’, Buck?” A gentle hand smoothed over his shoulder and slid down his arm. “You okay?”

A manufactured smile spread across his face. His shoulders rose and fell in an all too casual shrug. “I’m fine- I’m good.” He couldn’t seem to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds.

Another tug of his hand brought him closer. “You don’t seem fine…”

“No, really. I’m okay,” he brought your hand to his lips and pressed kisses to your palm. He was the farthest thing from okay; it was written all over his face. And though he did his best to put on a façade for you, you saw through the cracks. A heaviness lurked behind the grin he wore. A deep sadness darkened his gaze. You knew he probably spent the entirety of his shower replaying Fury’s words and berating himself within an inch of his life.

An extra helping of guilt dropped upon Bucky’s shoulders as he studied you. One of your nails dug into the cuticle of another. Your smile remained tight and tense. He could practically see the anxiety surging through your nervous system. And it was all his fault. You were worried about him, upset about him. How could he do this to you when you brough him nothing but peace?

He found it in him to take a deep breath, to let his shoulders fall a fraction of an inch. “It’s just gonna take a little time for me to get out of the shitty headspace Fury put me in. I’ll be alright-” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, “I promise.”

Fucking Fury. He seemed to allow everyone else chance after chance; he granted grace to every other member of the team. Everyone but Bucky. “You wanna get some sleep, then?” you cupped Bucky’s cheek, “hopefully, you’ll feel better in the morning.”

Bucky nodded. He reached over and flipped off his bedside lamp before giving his pillow a few adjustments. He got settled under the covers and waited for you to do the same- but you didn’t. You laid there, watching him.

“You gonna turn your lamp off, doll?”

“Not until you’re all situated.”

Bucky looked down at his perfectly arranged covers and then back at you, “I’m um, I think I’m settled, baby.”

You quirked a brow at him, “Are you though? Come on-” you found his hand under the covers and pulled him closer. “Assume the position, Barnes.”

He let out a labored, tired laugh. “Baby, thank you, but I can’t. My hair’s still wet, you’re gonna be cold-”

“I don’t care- you had a rough day.” You could practically see the war raging within Bucky’s psyche. He was dying to crawl into your embrace a disappear into your warmth. But he couldn’t- not tonight.

“It’s okay, doll. You don’t have to, it’s-”

“Come onnn, Buck. You knowwww you waaaant toooooo.” You gave your chest a few light pats, beckoning him to you. “I know it always makes you feel better.”

Of course, he wanted to. Something about resting his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat, and feeling your hands in his hair eased his soul. Even on his darkest, most soul-crushing days, he found solace with you. But guilt still gnawed at him; Fury’s rant played on a constant loop inside his head. And after what he’d supposedly done, he didn’t feel as though he deserved your love.

“Baby, I know you feel bad; And I know you’re trying to deprive yourself. But guilty or not- which you are not-” you gave his hand a squeeze, “you deserve comfort.”

A touch of heartbreak colored your voice. You were desperate to help Bucky, nearly begging him to grant himself some grace. Some care. In his attempts to hurt himself by staying far from your embrace, he’d hurt you instead. He’d made you sad, filled you with worry. He wondered if he’d ever be able to do anything right.

In an instant, he did as you asked; he’d do anything to make you feel better. His head rested against your chest, his wet hair dampening your shirt. It sent a rush of goosebumps over your skin- but you didn’t care. A deep sigh left Bucky’s chest as he melted against you. He often swore his body was made to fit yours, that he only existed to touch and be touched by you.

“See? Isn’t that better?”

“Mhmm…” he sighed, “much.”

You ran a hand through his wet hair, “Good. Now, let’s get some sleep. Okay?” You flicked off your lamp and wrapped your arms around Bucky, willing every ounce of your love into his body. He’d feel better in the morning- you knew he would. He just needed time and rest and a little love. And you gave him more than he ever dreamed of.

But around two in the morning, a strange sound vibrated on the edges of your consciousness. The dense ‘thud’repeated endlessly, like an eternal metronome. It resounded inside your head, mixing itself in with your dream until it finally woke you.

With your face still smushed into your pillow, you muttered Bucky’s name. The sound stopped- maybe you imagined it. Maybe it really was just part of your dream. Silence settled over your room once again and lulled you back to sleep.

But only a few minutes later, that sound woke you once again.

Your words came out sloppy, heavy with sleep. “Whass tha noise?”

No answer.

“Baby,” you said, more alert this time, “You hear that?”

Bucky didn’t respond.

With a groan, you forced your eyes open. There was no sign of disturbance or struggle; nothing out of the ordinary caught your eye. Everything was in its place- except Bucky. And when you pressed your palm against his side of the bed, the sheets lacked any remnants of his warmth.

This wasn’t like him- not anymore, anyway. Back when you first got together, Bucky left the room when he woke from a night terror. He’d slip out of bed and escape to the living room, forcing himself to withstand his panic attack all alone. But one night, you found him on the living room floor- desperate for breath. He clutched the corner of the rug and gritted his teeth, willing the anxiety to receded.

He flinched when you touched him; he didn’t hear you approach over the pounding in his ears. But the second he saw you, he reached for you. His sickly white knuckles regained their color as he released his fists and collapsed against you. He dropped his head into your lap, falling forward with the weight of his trauma. And he allowed your voice to soothe his racing mind. He let you guide him out of the agony.

Of course, he apologized for waking you. For inconveniencing you. Of course, you wouldn’t hear it. And when the panic finally subsided, he let you walk him back to bed. He buried his face in your chest and thanked you a million times over. After that night, you made him promise to wake you when these things happened- no matter what time it was. You made him promise not to suffer in silence. And he agreed.

You didn’t know he had his fingers crossed.

“Buck?” the anxious pounding of your heart boomed in your chest. “Baby?” You kicked the blankets from your body and abandoned your bed. Slivers of light made their way through the blinds and splashed across the floor, allowing you to search through the darkness. He wasn’t sitting on the floor or in the armchair near the window. Nor did you find him in the en suite bathroom.

“Bucky?” The hall was empty and the office void of Bucky’s presence. And while you searched for him, the sound refused to cease. It echoed through seemingly every fiber of the apartment. It haunted every space. Unfounded worries threw themselves at you, fighting to topple you to the ground. What if Bucky was hurt? What if he was gone?

No- he was fine. Of course, he was. Right? He had to be. The home you shared was safe. Nothing here could hurt or harm him in any way.

Well, maybe not nothing.

The thudding of your heart grew loud in your ears, nearly eclipsing the mystery sound all together. Part of you even doubted the existence of the noise- maybe it was just your anxiety getting to you. Maybe Bucky was in the kitchen grabbing a late-night snack, perfectly safe and happy.

But when you rounded the corner into the living room, all doubt fell away. Shards of your heart did the same as you stood in shock, watching the source of the sound reveal itself.

Bucky sat on the floor near the window, his back resting against the couch.

His metal fist hammered against his right shoulder again and again, beating the flesh a sickly blue.

The utter shock stole your breath, forcing it violently from your lungs. A burning erupted from your chest and spread through your every cell like wildfire. The floor seemed to tilt and ripple as a wave of dizziness sent you nearly collapsing into the closest wall. And through all of it, the sound persisted. The sickly thud of metal striking skin, striking bone.

But there was no time for your shock or sadness or heartbreak. Bucky needed you.

“Buck? Hey-” In only a few strides, you made your way to his side. But he didn’t look at you. He didn’t meet your eyes when you sat down in front of him, nor did he stop his assault. “Bucky, baby, can you look at me?”

He didn’t. He simply forced his hand against his chest over and over, no matter the pain.

“Bucky,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It came out more strained, more desperate than you’d ever heard it. The sight of Bucky doing this to himself almost made you sick, the sound covered you in goosebumps. A flood of saliva rushed into your mouth, warning you of the impending threat of vomit- but you forced it down.

Every time you asked about it, every time you wondered what caused that bruise- you never imagined it was self-inflicted.

“I need you to stop, okay?” Your words came out frantic, “Can you- can you just look at me for a second?”

His hollow gaze remained fixed on the floor. Anguish twisted his features, pulling his face into a pained mask. But his eyes held no life.

“Please-” your palm landed on his bruised shoulder mere seconds before the next strike. The force of his vibranium fist was sure to shatter your hand, but you didn’t care. You’d do anything to stop him from hurting himself. Anything to ease his pain. And if you couldn’t make him stop, maybe you could soften the blow.

But just as his fist once again neared his shoulder, he stopped. “Move,” his voice was low, almost timid.

“No.”

“Doll,” his eyes remained downcast, “I need you to move your hand.”

You refused. “I’m not gonna move, Buck. I’m not gonna let you hurt yourself.”

Finally, he dragged his shame-filled gaze upward. His despondent look sliced through you, cutting right to the bone. This was worse than the vacant stare he wore moments ago; this was utter misery. “Please…” his voice caught in his throat, barely pushing its way past the tension. “Move.”

But your hand remained; you’d keep it there until the end of time if you had to.

Warm, salty tears breached your lips as you spoke, and only then did you realize you were crying. “Buck, why are you doing this?”

“Because I know you won’t.” He clenched and unclenched his metal fist in a never-ending cycle, itching to resume his efforts. “None of you will. Not Sam. Not Hill. Not ever Fury. So, I have to.”

“Of course, we won’t. Why- Why would we?” It was an unfathomable thought.

“I need- I deserve to be punished. I deserve to face consequences for my actions.” The words fell from his lips in what resembled a recitation, like he had a script to follow. Like he’d said this before. “There are always consequences…” Again, he pulled his hand into a fist; the vibranium whined under his strength. “There have to be consequences.”

“There were consequences- your meeting with Fury? That was the consequence.”

He shook his head, “It’s not enough- people got hurt.”

“It’s more than enough…” With your free hand, you reached for Bucky’s cold fist. He resisted at first, almost scared to be without his method of punishment. But he never could resist your touch. One at a time, you uncurled his fingers from his tight fist. You pressed his cold palm against your chest and held it there, allowing the beat of your heart to vibrate through the metal. “Especially because you didn’t do anything wrong. People got hurt- but it’s not your fault.”

Bucky ached to maim himself. He needed to feel pain. Needed to get what he thought he deserved. But he couldn’t bring himself to tear his hand from your chest. And though you blocked his bruise and made punishment impossible, he liked the way your palm felt against his black and blue skin. It was the one part of him you always shied away from for fear of hurting the already tender flesh. But your touch soothed the deep ache.

“Baby, how…” you swallowed the lump forming in your throat, “how often do you do this?” You weren’t sure you wanted the answer; just the thought of Bucky doing this to himself day in and day out filled your chest with storm clouds. But you needed to know.

His words held a deep shame, “Whenever I deserve it.”

“Buck, you’ve had that bruise for at least six months...”

He shrugged, “I deserve it a lot.”

Everything inside you burst into flames. You wanted to tear Hydra apart, to destroy them for what they did to Bucky. They altered his sense of self so violently, so irreparably, that they changed who he saw in the mirror. He viewed himself only as a vehicle for destruction, a receptacle for other peoples’ wrongs. They drilled into him an acceptance of abuse, of pain, of torture. And now, he didn’t know how to operate without it.

“No, you don’t- you don’t deserve this.” A small quiver forced its way into your voice, “even if this whole thing was your fault- which it wasn’t- you wouldn’t deserve to be hurt.”

He stared at you for a long moment. Sometimes, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t comprehend the sentiment that he didn’t deserve pain and suffering; that he wasn’t always to blame. It was almost like you spoke different languages. Shuri may have eliminated the Winter Soldier programming and rendered his trigger words useless, but she couldn’t remove his shame. His guilt. His instinct to assume blame.

“I can’t do anything right-” His right hand gripped the edge of the rug. He needed some way to release his tension, his anxiety. The fabric bunched inside his fist and twisted with his every move.

“It seems like no matter what I do- or don’t do- someone ends up hurt. That says something about me, doesn’t it?”

“No. It doesn’t.” You slowly removed your hand from his metal wrist and found his right fist. He eased the tension in his grip with your help and released the corner of the rug. It fell crumpled against the hardwood, struggling to regain its shape. “Buck, you always say that you blame yourself because you think you’re a bad person. But I actually think you blame yourself because you’re a good person.”

He gave a small shake of his head.

“You’re willing to shoulder whatever guilt or blame other people put on you- regardless of whether you deserve it- because you’re not selfish.” He was, in fact, the least selfish person in the world. He’d set himself on fire to keep you warm. Would move heaven and earth to make you smile. He was loyal, devoted. He cared about you, about his friends, without ever putting himself first.

“And you haven’t buried yourself in ego or pride like some of the other guys we work with.”

Bucky let out a soft laugh.

No, he didn’t bury himself in ego; he had no ego. His self-image wasn’t inflated or overexaggerated. He just wanted to do his best. To help. To offset with light some of the darkness he caused.

“And maybe it’s your way of seeking redemption- not that you need to be redeemed,” you gave his hand a squeeze. “But maybe part of you feels like if you accept enough responsibility, it’ll make up for the things you were forced to do as the Winter Soldier.”

He let out a sigh from somewhere deep within him, somewhere he didn’t know he had. It seemed to him like he’d been holding on to this truth, this breath, since the day he escaped. And here, in the darkness, he released it. “I just… I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore.”

“That’s the thing Buck,” you gently stroked a few fingertips across his massive bruise, “You never were.”

His forehead fell against yours. The two of you sat there, motionless, for what felt like forever. Cars moved on the streets below. Thunder rolled through the sky. Rain drops tapped against the large windows. But neither of you noticed.

“If I move this hand-” you tapped your once again fingers against his bruised shoulder, “are you gonna do it again?”

He shook his head.

With great hesitancy, you removed your palm from the evidence of his self-inflicted punishment. It looked worse in the eerie 2am lighting, like a black hole formed on his skin; you feared it might envelope him completely if you let it. Your lips replaced your hand, leaving the softest of kisses across his skin. Bucky let loose a small sound- something like a whimper- as you traced the bruise with your mouth. He let a few tears slip down his cheeks.

“Thank you…”

You took a moment to drink him in. He was stronger than humanly possible. Hugely muscular. Nearly indestructible. But in the middle of the night on the floor of your living room, he looked so small. So fragile. His shoulders caved forward, and his read remained bowed. His voice wavered. His right hand shook ever so slightly. He was a man haunted, possessed by his past. Fearing the future. He was hurt. Broken. Lost in others’ perceptions of himself. He lay trapped under his need for validation from those around him. He sought approval from people who never dreamed of granting it.

You wondered if he’d ever be free from his ghosts, or if they’d follow him until he became one himself.

“You don’t have to thank me,” you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “All I ever want is to be there for you when you need me.” The tremor in your voice matched Bucky’s. Pure hurt rendered the air around you thick and heavy. You ached for Bucky, and he, in return, ached to be anyone but himself.

“What do you wanna do? We can go back to bed. Or if you don’t feel like sleeping, we can hang out in here and watch some tv.” You ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, “Up to you.”

Bucky’s mind still raced. His brain sat stewing in a deep pit of sorrow and anguish. But he was tired- exhausted. And while his mind wanted to stay up for a while, he let his body decide. His chest and shoulder screamed with pain. His skin stung. Each breath forced a sharp agony into his consciousness; he knew he must’ve cracked a rib. “Let’s-” he grimaced as an inhale filled his lungs, “let’s go back to bed.”

As gently as you could, you helped Bucky from the floor. He smiled when your hand found his as you led him in the direction of the bedroom. The two of you shuffled down the dark hall in silence with no clue what to say. Bucky wanted to apologize; you wanted to drown him in promises of your love.

Bucky stopped short when you paused, almost running into you. You turned to him suddenly, eying his bruise in the dim light. “You go ahead, okay? I’m gonna grab you an ice pack.”

“Doll, thank you, but I’m fine-”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “does it hurt?”

He shrugged; the motion made him wince. “I mean, yeah. But it’s-”

“Exactly.” You pushed up on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek, “I’m gonna get you an ice pack. You get your ass to bed- I’ll be there in a second.”

Bucky whispered a ‘thank you’ and headed in the direction of the bedroom, leaving you alone. But just as he turned the corner down the hall, guilt wrapped around his ankles like a ball and chain. He was stuck; his need to apologize rendering him frozen. He watched you turn in the direction of the kitchen and wondered what he did to deserve you. “Hey, doll…” he called after you. “I’m sorry for waking you.”

“Nothing to apologize for. I promise.”

“But I-”

“You’re doing your best. You’re coping in the only way you know how. That’s not something to be sorry for.”

Bucky shrugged, winced, and disappeared into the bedroom, eager to escape your line of sight. Everything you did, you did for him. And though that knowledge should’ve eased Bucky’s soul, it only added to his guilt. He marked yet another tally to the long, long list of ways in which he didn’t deserve you.

The walk to the kitchen wasn’t long- but it provided a sliver of extra time for you to cope in private. If Bucky knew just how much this upset you, how heartbroken you were, he’d never forgive himself. He, instead, would add that knowledge to his ever-growing mountain of shame. He’d adopt a new method of self-punishment, something more subtle, easier to hide. And he’d never express his guilt or shame to you ever again, all to save your feelings. You couldn’t do that to him; he deserved an outlet, a sounding board, a space to vent. You’d never dream of robbing him of that.

“Alright, here we go,” you pushed open the bedroom door. “I got you one of the big ones, cause that thing is massive, and-” If you didn’t look up at the right moment, you would’ve crashed right into Bucky.

He stood near the foot of the bed, just inside the door, almost vibrating with anxiety. It rolled through him in waves and placed tremors in his hands. He didn’t stand a fighting chance.

His massive frame looming in the darkness almost blocked your path completely- and scared the hell out of you. “Shit-” You tripped over your own feet and stumbled backward, but Bucky wouldn’t let you fall.

He caught you in the nick of time, snatching you from the air and righting you on your feet. “Oh, hey- I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

Without a word, you pressed the towel-wrapped ice pack to his skin. Though he detested the cold, the sensation awarded him much needed relief. A deep sigh left his chest as his pain receptors deadened and the constant, months-long throbbing subsided. This was the first thing to put his pain on pause in- he couldn’t remember how long.

You searched his face for any indicators of discomfort, “How does that feel?”

All he could do was nod. The two of you stood there a while as Bucky drank in the relief. The muscles in his shoulders released their tension, his breaths came a bit easier. But something dark lurked beneath his quiet surface.

“Such a gentleman, waiting for me to come back before getting in bed,” you threw him a wink.

Bucky’s attempted laugh came out broken, disjointed. To his credit, he tried to laugh for real. He wanted to put this whole night behind him and slide into bed with you. Under the covers, surrounded by your body heat, nothing could hurt him. The skeletons of his past couldn’t claw out of the ground and wreak havoc on his psyche. But a nagging dread yanked at his heart.

He couldn’t pretend things were resolved. He couldn’t forget his troubles and intertwine his body with yours like the knit of a well-loved sweater. The crushing weight of Fury’s blame sat atop his shoulders, growing heavier by the second. But he couldn’t find it in him to tell you, to ask you for help.

“Come on, let’s go back to sleep. Okay?” You tucked the ice pack into Bucky’s hand and started toward your side of the bed, “I know you’ve gotta be exhausted.”

But Bucky didn’t follow. He didn’t join you, didn’t even nod. He stood there, stuck, his feet anchored to the floor. The cold pack ate through his nerve endings until his hand went numb. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t fill his lungs. They felt shallower, somehow- like they lost all capacity.

His deadened fingers fell open, allowing the ice pack to fall against the floor. The sound pulled your focus, halting your efforts to right the sheets and blankets.

“Buck?”

He didn’t answer.

“Hey…” Quick steps brought you face to face with his empty stare. “Is everything-”

His knees met the hardwood as the weight of his anxiety forced him into submission. He fell against the cold floor with a sickening thud, his body shaking with the force. His head bowed; his spine curved forward. Ragged inhales forced their way into his ever-constricting lungs.

“Please-” he begged through choppy breaths, “if you won’t let me do it myself, I need- I need you to.”

“Buck, I’m-”

“I need you to hurt me.”

His words gutted you.

“Baby, no.”

He begged over and over for punishment. For pain.

Bucky fell against you the moment you joined him on the floor. His head lay buried in your neck, his sharp breaths fanning your skin. He begged through the tears, through the torment, for pain. And you refused. Instead, you gave him the lightest, softest affections you could manage.

Under different circumstances, your gentle touch would’ve saved him. It would’ve brought him comfort in his moment of distress, grounded him during a bout of panic. But he didn’t want kind hands. For the first time, your soft touches prolonged the agony. The light circles you rubbed against his back filled him with impending doom. With misery. He wanted torture. Agony.

And even if he were dying, he’d willingly sacrifice his last breath to ask for punishment.

As carefully as you could, you helped Bucky lay down on the floor. How his body continued to run remained a mystery to you. He was drained, physically and emotionally. He was hurt. Panic ravaged his nervous system and pumped him full of cortisol. He was running on empty.

“Let’s try to relax a bit, okay? Let’s try to breathe-”

He shook his head against the rug, “No, I need- I need it. I need you to- can you…” His words came out weak- but desperate.

Your hands raked through his hair and massaged his knotted muscles. Over and over again, you swore your love to him. You showered him in assurances and words of kindness. And though he was grateful when sleep won him over, it didn’t stop his efforts. Even as he finally dozed off, he begged.

“P- please…” he sighed, his eyelids fluttering. “Need you… need you to.” His hand twitched, his brow furrowed. “Hurt- hurt me.” Hearing it didn’t get any easier.

For what must’ve been the millionth time, you refused.

And while Bucky slept in your arms, you remained wired. Every cell in your body swam in a cocktail adrenaline and cortisol. You wondered if you’d ever sleep again. Just when you thought Bucky’s story couldn’t get any darker, it seemed to do just that. His life was all shadows and wormholes wrapped in an inky abyss. No stars, no moon. Just shapeless, unsettling, endless night.

He deserved better.

The sun rose as you fell asleep. Your mind shut off; your body gave out. Thinking yourself in circles while Bucky slept in the safety of your arms depleted your every ounce of energy. Worrying this much didn’t seem healthy; you didn’t think it was even possible to feel such deep concern. You never knew how taxing crying could be. But Bucky was worth it- hands down.

No part of you wanted to fall asleep; Bucky couldn’t be left unsupervised. But a biological need for rest demanded you get some shut eye. And while you slept off the gut-wrenching night you’d spent with Bucky, anxiety seeped into your dreams. Images of Bucky maiming himself flashed behind your eyes. You saw him bloodying his body, abusing himself. His bruise haunted you.

Waking in bed threw you for a loop. Only a few hours ago, you’d dozed off on the throw rug covering your bedroom floor. But when you opened your eyes, you found yourself snuggled under the duvet with Bucky’s body under yours. His arms held you tight, your face nuzzled into his neck. This was how things were supposed to be.

It was then you realized- your head lay against his bruise. Even in your sleep, you did your best to protect him from himself. He wouldn’t dare strike his shoulder and risk hurting you. But the weight of your skull had to hurt him, didn’t it? He was sore, miserably so. Just the pressure of your palm resting against his bruise the night before made him wince- surely, your head was too much. With the utmost caution, you pulled your head from his chest.

“It’s okay- doesn’t hurt,” his voice was weak, full of exhaustion. You didn’t know he was awake.

“Oh. Okay, good. I, um,” you looked around for a few seconds. “I don’t remember getting in bed.”

“We didn’t- well, you didn’t.” He couldn’t believe that after everything he put you through the previous night- all the pain, the heartache, the worry- he let you fall asleep on the floor. It was selfish of him, inconsiderate. He should’ve insisted that you get in bed. He should’ve done what you asked and crawled under the covers with you. He failed you- again. “I didn’t want you to sleep on the floor…”

Your lips met his skin in a chain of soft kisses, “You know I don’t mind.”

“But I do,” he returned every kiss you granted him.

He woke nearly half an hour after you finally dozed off and found you curled up against him. Your head rested against the cold hard wood; the itchy rug left marks against your skin. A small shiver rattled up your spine and pushed you closer to Bucky’s warm embrace; it was too cold for you to sleep without a blanket. His body begged him to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t- not yet. He lifted you from the floor, his shoulder aching with the effort, and tucked you into bed with all the care in the world. Only then could he fall asleep once again.

“I’m sorry about- about all of it,” he said. “Last night was-”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” you pulled your face from his chest, “I just wanna know what that was about.”

Bucky hoped that acting innocent would save him. “What?” Maybe if he pretended like he didn’t know what you were talking about, you’d move on. Maybe you’d tell him to forget it and save him the explanation. You didn’t.

“When you asked me to…” you gave a small shake of your head, “to hurt you.” The pain in your voice sliced through Bucky. He wondered if words could make him bleed.

“Oh. Yeah. That was… I was out of line,” his jaw tensed. “That wasn’t okay. I know I made you uncomfortable- I’m sorry. I never wanna upset you. I was being stupid. And selfish. It wasn’t fair of me-”

The shame practically dripped from Bucky’s lips. You could almost see in running down his chin, staining his skin. He expressed his remorse for things that weren’t his fault, for things he couldn’t control. He told you how sorry he was for his trauma responses and the anxiety that held him hostage. Maybe one day, he’d believe you when you told him he didn’t have to apologize. Today was not that day.

“I’m just worried about you, Buck. And I wanna help in any way I can-” you took a deep breath, “I just can’t help in that way.”

“I know.”

“Can you maybe tell me- can you help me understand?”

He remained silent for a long while. If he stayed quiet long enough, he could avoid any further distress on your part. With his silence, he could provide solace. But no. You had a penchant for knowing what made Bucky tick, no matter the pain it caused you.

Your unflinching stare drilled through him until he couldn’t take it any longer. “I needed you to hurt me because that’s what I’m used to. I’m used to punishment,” he finally said. “Because when I fucked up at Hydra, there were consequences. They’d beat me within an inch of my life to get the message across.”

Of course, this was a sad truth you already knew. But hearing it aloud- from his lips- gutted you. The image of a cowering, broken Bucky sent bile rushing up your throat. You could see him lying in a cell somewhere, his blood staining the concrete as Rumlow tore him apart. And of course, he’d never fight back- he couldn’t. Not unless ordered to.

“And now, that’s what I’m accustomed to,” he rested a hand against his bruise, almost on instinct. “I don’t know how to operate without it. I thought I’d be happy to never experience it again but… I feel like I need it.”

Showing Bucky kindness and understanding sat atop your priority list- but you couldn’t grasp his perspective. It didn’t make sense. He lived a life so foreign to you, so utterly other, that the things he said often left you confused. While the two of you had many similarities and things in common, some experiences would simply never be relatable. Some stories could never be shared.

And similar to how Bucky couldn’t understand your flagrant disregard for locking the front door, you couldn’t fathom why he’d beat himself blue.

“Why, Buck?” It wasn’t that you wanted to know. No, the truth could only serve to hurt you. But you needed to understand. You needed to untangle every knot within Bucky’s psyche and help mend his frayed edges. In order to help him, you had to first grasp his perspective. “Why do you ‘need’ it?”

“Because I know I deserve it.” The words came out course, almost aggressive. Bucky shot you a sheepish look, his method of a wordless apology. The next time he spoke, his voice was softer, his tone more even. “I’ve been conditioned to expect it. And waiting for that pain is- it’s torture. It’s almost worse than the punishment itself.”

He thought back on all the beatings he received as result of fucking up missions. On one occasion, they broke all twelve of his ribs in one sitting. Another time, they turned almost his entire body blue with bruises. But the times they made him wait it out were far worse than any bloodshed. He jumped at every sound, lost the ability to think. To sleep. To breathe. Every moment fell prey to the anticipation of agony. Bucky shuddered.

“I keep expecting pain. I feel like I have to look over my shoulder.” The urge to tear himself apart scratched at the inside of Bucky’s skull. If he could just deliver his punishment- if he could just get what he knew was coming- he’d be okay. By destroying his body, he could soothe his mind. But with you so close, staring at him with your blood shot, heartbroken eyes, he was stuck. “It’s like this sense of impending doom that doesn’t end unless I get what I know is coming.”

Things fell quiet as you thought over his words. Anxiety was an old friend you knew well. It accompanied you through everything, never leaving your side for more than a few days. But what Bucky described- that was the stuff of nightmares. That was misery.

“Hang on,” you tripped over a detail in his story, “then what happened last night?” You didn’t mean to sound skeptical- it wasn’t like that at all. You believed every word Bucky said. One part, however, didn’t quite make sense. “Last night, you got your punishment. You got the pain. Why did you ask me to-”

He sighed, “Last night was different. You caught me. I had to stop- I’ve never done that before. I’ve never stopped right in the middle. I was only out there a little while before you found me.” His vibranium hand pulled into a fist and slowly released. He did this time and time again as the urge hurt himself gnawed at him. “I didn’t do enough. It felt like holding in a sneeze or something. And when we came in here to go to sleep, I still had this sense of looming pain, an impending punishment. And I knew you wouldn’t let me give it to myself. So, I asked you to do it.”

The far-away look in his eye dissolved as he came screeching back to the present. Guilt dragged his features downward into a near scowl. “But I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.” The remorse weighed more than he could shoulder. If he thought he knew what guilt felt like before, he was wrong.

“It’s okay, Buck.” You knew the memory of Bucky begging you for punishment would haunt you forever. It took up prime real estate in your mind and cut you deeper each time you paid it attention. But he couldn’t help it; this was part of his journey. When you started dating Bucky, you knew he wasn’t a ‘regular’ person. Darkness and demons followed him wherever he went, filling his mind with horrors most people could never imagine. Of course, there were going to be speed bumps and rough patches on the road of your relationship. But he never did anything with malice in his heart. He was simply trying to survive. “I know you’re just doing your best-”

“My best is pretty shitty.”

He was always so callous with himself, so unforgiving. It wasn’t fair. “Baby, you’ve made a lot of progress.” He was a completely different person than he was a few months ago. He’d worked hard every day to wade through his trauma and find himself on the other side- all while saving the world. “But it doesn’t all have to happen at once. You can’t heal from everything in one fell swoop. It’s not linear. It’s a slow process-”

“Really slow.” He let out a huff and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. Part of him wanted to run; he couldn’t believe he’d subjected you- the kindest, most loving person on earth- to this corner of his awful reality. But he knew being without you was a fate worse than death. Worse than Hydra.

“I don’t want to do this-” he motioned toward his bruise. “I don’t want to hurt myself. But I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to heal the part of me that’s always looking over my shoulder for a punishment.”

You smoothed his hair back and let your hand drift down his cheek, “You don’t have to do it on your own, Buck. Maybe you should talk to someone-”

He shot you a pointed look.

“Not Dr. Raynor. Someone else. Someone with empathy.”

Bucky gave a firm nod and a quiet laugh. “Okay, yeah. That works.

“And in the meantime, whenever you feel that impulse, I want you to tell me, okay? I want to help you through in whatever way I can.”

He tried to protest, but you silenced him. “I’m in this with you- full stop. I’m with you for all the hard stuff and the things you hate about yourself. I’m always in your corner.”

He snaked his arms around you and pulled you as close as possible, relishing in the feeling of your heart beating against his skin.

“This is a pain-free household, okay? We don’t do punishments here. We don’t hurt ourselves, and we don’t hurt each other.” You wiggled a hand free and offered Bucky your pinky, “promise?”

Not hurting you was a given; Bucky would never dream of causing you pain. But refraining from hurting himself was another story. The need sometimes possessed him, drove him to harm himself when the guilt grew too heavy. The look in your eyes, though, pushed him to promise you. You held such love for him, such adoration. And he knew you meant every word you said. You were going to help him through, to support him, no matter what.

He linked his pinky with yours, “Promise.”

“Good.” You pressed a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away, “hey, do you have Fury’s address?”

Bucky cocked his head to the side, “Uh, yeah. I think it’s in my notebook in the office. Why?”

In one swift motion, you slithered from Bucky’s arms and slid out of bed. “Oh, no reason,” you sighed as you headed for the door, “I’m just gonna egg his house.”

———————

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