#also about my life being a social experiment

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Do you have a list of good sex ed books to read?

BOY DO I

please bear in mind that some of these books are a little old (10+ years) by research standards now, and that even the newer ones are all flawed in some way. the thing about research on human beings, and especially research on something as nebulous and huge as sex, is that people are Always going to miss something or fail to account for every possible experience, and that's just something that we have to accept in good faith. I think all of these books have something interesting to say, but that doesn't mean any of them are the only book you'll ever need.

related to that: it's been A While since I've read some of these so sorry if anything in them has aged poorly (I don't THINK SO but like, I was not as discerning a reader when I was 19) but I am still including them as books that have been important to my personal journey as a sex educator.

additionally, a caveat that very few of these books are, like, instructional sex ed books in the sense of like "here's how the penis works, here's where the clit is, etc." those books exist and they're great but they're also not very interesting to me; my studies on sex are much more in the social aspect (shout out to my sociology degree) and the way people learn to think about sex and societal factors that shape those trends. these books reflect that. I would genuinely love to have the time to check out some 101 books to see how they fare, but alas - sex ed is not my day job and I don't have the time to dedicate to that, so it happens slowly when it happens at all. I've been meaning to read Dr. Gunter's Vagina Bible since it came out in 2019, for fucks sake.

and finally an acknowledgement that this is a fairly white list, which has as much to do with biases with academia and publishing as my own unchecked biases especially early in my academic career and the limitations of my university library.

ANYWAY here's some books about sex that have been influential/informative to me in one way or another:

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (Laura M. Carpenter, 2005)

Sex Goes to School: Girls and Sex Education Before the 1960s (Susan K. Freeman, 2008)

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (Mary Roach, 2008)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women (Jessica Valenti, 2009)

Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex (Amy T. Schalet, 2011)

Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships (Meg-John Barker, 2013)

The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Realities (Rachel Hills, 2015)

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Tranform Your Sex Life (Emily Nagoski, 2015)

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2015)

Too Hot to Handle: A Global History of Sex Education (Jonathan Zimmerman, 2015)

American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus (Lisa Wade, 2017)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers' Rights (Juno Mac and Molly Smith, 2018)

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen, 2020)

Pleasure in the News: African American Readership and Sexuality in the Black Press (Kim Gallon, 2020)

A Curious History of Sex (Kate Lister, 2020)

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity (Peggy Orenstein, 2020)

Black Women, Black Love: America's War on Africa American Marriage (Dianne M. Stewart, 2020)

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (Jane Ward, 2020)

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021)

The Right to Sex: Feminist in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021)

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021)

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023)

#bookblr #sex edventures 2024

[vicvinegarandhughhoney]

Dennis Reynolds is AUTISTIC!!!!

(At least, I headcanon him as such).

Here's why:

Sensory issues:

If you've watched the show, you probably already know what I mean, but Dennis really struggles to deal with sensory input. When there's a loud noise, he often covers his ears- like in Family Fight:

or he gets frustrated, lashing out at diners for being too loud (The Gang Dines Out), getting annoyed at Frank for chewing gum too loud.

It's worth noting that later on in this episode, Dennis can hear Frank chewing gum from the other room. He's clearly hypersensitive, and perhaps this even goes to explaining a little bit why his room is soundproofed? Could it be that rather than not wanting people to hear what's going on inside, he's desperate to block the noise coming from outside?? (this was suggested by @kod-lyoko , and I LOVE IT).

There are SO many examples of Dennis plugging his ears (often when the others don't react in such a strong way):

There are way too many examples to list here, and too many images I could give (the above were taken from @dennisboobs ' gif set) but hopefully you get the impression.

Social issues:

I feel like this one is pretty self-evident, but I find deconstructing the things Dennis does super fun, so I'm going to explain anyway: Dennis does NOT know how relationships work. There are a great deal of factors at play to cause this (I would argue that his early experiences in life definitely moulded his view in an unhelpful way) but the systematic way he looks at interactions REEKS of autism to me.

The DENNIS system is hardly peak autism representation (it's certainly not the bright and bubbly stuff people often talk about), but the fact that he has a system for romantic/sexual interactions, both for men AND women, feels super autistic-coded. He quite literally has a script which he follows to make interactions easier, one which he sticks to rigidly. And if anybody tries to implement this carefully thought out system incorrectly? Well, he'll let you know (e.g in The Dennis System episode where he blows up at Mac and Charlie for not getting it right at the fair).

He masks his social deficits well, but sometimes things don't go to plan. Sometimes, the girl on the cruise ship runs away, and Dennis announces that 'that's not supposed to happen'.

He comes off as creepy, but that's not his intention. He doesn't understand the way he's perceived by others in general- he thinks he's the King of St Joseph's, not realising he was actually an outcast all along. Just like a lot of autistic people, he didn't understand that he was on the fringes of society until it was thrust in his face, and that hurt.

Speech:

While Dennis often appears to speak pretty normally, there are a few occasions where his frustration causes this mask of normality to slip.

In The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby, Dennis is caught off guard by the hipster's reading of him, and immediately goes back to Frank and Charlie, parroting almost the same words he heard right back to them, despite not seeming to understand them at all (perhaps a form of echolalia?).

"I'm out here trying to make a difference, and you're over here rummaging around in the trash like a couple of narcs! Okay, you can't just come down here with your mainline cashmere, mousse... quaff... hairspray, and start being like, a suburban tool!"

It's also worth noting that even the poetic way he speaks when he's angry could be a trait ?? As a recently diagnosed autistic person, in my report they spoke about how I used 'idiosyncratic' language (basically, peculiar language lol), and listed terms like 'connoisseur', which I guess were deemed pretty formal for casual conversation.

And it got me thinking, who else do we know who uses VERY idiosyncratic language? Dennis. Reynolds.

"The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these halls, like the gust of a thousand winds"

"Begone, vile man, begone from me!... I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds!"

"You didn't tell me there was to be pollen!"

Etc... etc...

The way he repeats 'savages, idiots!' during his rage at the frat bros feels very autism coded to me. Repetition of certain words and phrases is common!

Heightened emotions:

Again, something that I didn't know until I myself was diagnosed is that for a lot of autistic people, we spend most of the time at a pretty 'flat' emotional state, but when we do experience emotions, we experience them intensely. Frustration turns into anger, sadness turns into despair, happiness turns into ecstasy- it's why some autistic people might be misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder!

This, of course, fits well with the way Dennis experiences emotions. He spends a lot of the time believing he doesn't have any at all, and when he does feel something, it's overwhelming.

"And I have feelings! Of course I have feelings, I have big feelings, okay? And it hurts."

These lines hit hard regardless of the extra weight you put on them, but when you see them through the lens of autism, through the lens of a lifetime of misunderstanding and overstimulation, it makes them hit even harder.

It hurts him to feel. His emotions are so strong that they're painful, and he's never been taught how to deal with them, because nobody even knew he had them in the first place.

Stimming:

Finally, I think Dennis stims. A lot. If you search up 'Dennis Reynolds autistic' on this very site, you'll find gifsets and videos illustrating this.

He has a few very common ones, like tugging on his earlobe when he's anxious, playing with his fingers, etc, but if you pay attention to him even when he's in the background of scenes, you'll pick up on a lot. Dennis is constantly moving, and while you could suggest this is simply a result of Glenn's ADHD, I'd argue that some of these stims happen so frequently in Sunny specifically, that there's no way they're coincidental.

Glenn makes a lot of very specific acting and directorial choices in Sunny, so why dismiss these as choices too?

That's all I can be bothered to type up now, but here's my case for Autistic!Dennis ! Of course, he's a complex character so there's always room for different interpretations...

but as an autistic person, I hereby claim him as One Of Us™.

#iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #its always sunny #autistic dennis

[radicalexchange]

I am "radqueer" to an extent. I believe that terms such as "transdisabled" and "transrace" both dismiss the struggles of their respective communities, but I believe things such as "transage" are completely okay. I also think that "lesboys" and "mspec lesbians" are, for the most part, invalid identities. Even if I do have a negative opinion on lesboys and mspec lesbians, I do believe that the queer community has no need to go against eachother while we still have so many people attacking us as a whole. Queer people should come together to fight injustice against us, not fight our brothers, sisters, and others in arms.

Transdisabled and transrace are both terms that dismiss the struggle that both disabled people and people of color have both gone through for basic human rights, and in some disabled people's cases their struggle to have a stable life.

Transdisabled - As someone with Autism, I struggle with a ton of things socially due to my disability. A "transautistic" person just feels like a slap to my face, because they are taking the "silly" and "cute" parts of autism while dismissing the struggle that some actual autistic people go through on the daily. I can't even begin to understand why someone would "feel as though they were meant to have [disability]", because if you don't have it then you clearly weren't meant to and will never truely be able to see the world in the exact way they do. Not to mention how a lot of these "transdisabled" people inforce stereotypes of the disabilities they're "transitioning" to. I have lost friends and had close bonds with family severed because of things I've been hyperfixated on, my struggles with tone, and many more autistic traits. I've been denied certain things because "an autistic person won't be able to do that!", and I've been told "you're just being lazy and using your autisim as an excuse" while I was crying due to overstimulation. Being autistic is something that I personally wish wasn't apart of me at times, but as every disabled person will learn, my disability is a part of me that I will have to learn to live with and manage.

Transrace - I won't go in too much depth about "transracial" people, because I myself am not a person of color. In my opinion, "transracial" completely dismisses the struggles that people of color experience around the world. If you are white and "transition" to a different race, you will still never fully understand the struggle that people of color have getting jobs or the way they're judged on the street. Also, every time I've seen a "transracial" person they simply live based on the stereotypes of that race which sounds beyond insulting. Claiming to be apart of that race while still inforcing the harmful stereotypes that they've been fighting for years just screams loud and incorrect.

Transage & others - I can get behind some transids though, like transage or transspecies. The only issue I have with these sorts of identities is the romantic and sexual aspects, but from what I've experienced in my years on the internet that hasn't proved itself to be a problem outside of bait accounts. I understand the want to be older than you are, and feeling as though you were meant to be an adult or a child. Sometimes I too feel as though I know more than the average child, not intillectually, and that I would maybe function better as an adult. I've also experienced the feeling that I should be younger, because I am not very emotionally developed and if I were younger that wouldn't be a problem anymore. It's an understandable feeling, and something I myself have experienced at some points. I wouldn't say I am "transage" or whatever a person who's age is fluid would be called, but I can understand the appeal and I support those who identify as such.

As for lesboys and mspec lesbians? I believe that this issue shouldn't be a priority while queer people are still being arrested, assulted in public, denied jobs, and more for simply being queer. I disagree with the idea of mspec lesbians competely, but I can understand lesboys in some contexts. But in the end, who am I to judge two consenting people in a relationship? It's not my place to decide what you do in your freetime, as long as both parties are okay with it.

Lesboys - I disagree with the idea of lesbian men, as the definition of lesbian is "non men loving non men". Though I can understand genderfluid people or nonbinary transmasc people being lesbians, and using the term "lesboy" to describe their experiences. Transmasculine people are not always "men", they are "masculine". I dislike the idea of a transgender man being a lesbian, because it defeats the purpose of "non men loving non men".

Mspec lesbians - The term "lesbian" is not an umbrella term for any nonman who loves nonmen. If you're looking for an umbrella term that accurately describes this, the term would be "sapphic". If you are a non man who loves men, you are by definition not a lesbian.

#Read pinned if you have a strict dni. #radqueer #transage #lesboy neg #lesbian boy neg #lesbian boy #mspec lesbian neg #mspec lesbian #transrace neg #transrace #transdisabled #transdisabled neg #rq #opinions #politics #queer #transid

[missmastectomy]

hello, pretty freshly detrans here. i finally understand what all those ‘annoying cis people’ meant when they said gender isn’t a feeling. like, actually, i fully comprehend it now. if you unpack all those supposed ‘gender feels’ it all wraps back to stereotypes and gender roles, whether you identify as a soft boy or a big rugged stereotypical man like i did. because that’s all gender is. and holy shit, i feel duped!

you’re telling me i could’ve spent all this time being a hot hairy butch who defied the social expectations placed on women but i was so entrenched in the idea that i was somehow a man, which is DEFINITELY a real innate category of being and not a made up social class assigned to a given sex to give them more power (sarcasm) that i lost half my family to it? that i argued with people i know and love over it? that i experienced trauma in the church because of it? only to realize that gender itself isn’t even real, something i knew the whole time but hypocritically refused to apply to myself. i’ve been scammed. i dressed up my personality in a blue box and told myself it was a boy. fuck.

at least there’s freedom in sight now. sorry to rant in your inbox, i hope it’s relatable if nothing else.

I completely understand. I also used to feel annoyed when “cis” people said they don’t know what feeling gender is like. The thing is, though, trans people’s gender feelings are actually very easy to understand once you get to the bottom of what dysphoria is. Often trans people will describe their gender identity as stemming from dysphoria, a disconnect between the mind and body. The discomfort and desire to be the other sex is so strong that people transition and the vast majority of trans people describe that as the state of “being a woman/man,” instead of “hey, I’m a bio female/woman transitioning in order to cope with dysphoria.”

I talked about it before, but if you understand why women get harmful cosmetic surgeries because they cannot stand living in their bodies, or why anorexics will hurt themselves in pursuit of a perfect body, you already understand half of trans identity. People often try to reinvent themselves when they’ve been rejected or traumatized. People often try to mold themselves into someone else, someone you were “always meant to be,” but ultimately never will, because the image you’ve created in your mind is completely fictitious.

Most trans people operate like this. Ime there are vanishingly few trans people who recognize that their sex doesn’t change and that they are ultimately still men or women. Most consider gender to be innate, therefore they were always actually men or women. Few acknowledge that it is basically a lifestyle choice. Honestly, a poor one at that, considering the adverse effects it has on your body and social life.

Some transmeds cite sex dysphoria as the reason for transition, but where does it come from? They often argue that transsexuals have brains that map out the body of the opposite sex and that causes the dysphoria, but there’s poor evidence for this. Ask a trans person how they knew they were trans and they will say 1) they always felt uncomfortable in their body/didn’t connect with others of their sex or 2) I’m a boy/girl but engaged in stereotypical activities of the opposite sex. It’s really just a bunch of made up nonsense to explain the suffering a lot of gnc, gay, whatever people experience.

A lot of trans people don’t realize that everyone else also has “gender feelings,” but they just don’t describe it with the language trans people do. Because of this disconnect, trans people often take this as evidence that their gender identities are real and infallible. But if you talk to, say, a woman who was very masculine as a child and didn’t fit in with girls, you will literally hear the same feelings of discomfort that most transmen describe. The difference is that these women grew out of it or learned to cope and accept themselves. Most transmen do not.

The conditions for trans identity to form are a combination of wrong place wrong time. I have a hard time not feeling sympathetic for the old fashioned transsexual types who recognize bio sex because I understand how debilitating dysphoria can be, but the religious mumbo jumbo speak of the modern trans movement is insufferable and harming thousands, if not millions, of people. It’s time to come back down to reality.

#detrans #gender critical #detransition #mail #radblr

[shinhati]

I haven't seen bridgerton, (outside of like clips) but I am actually curious about your opinion on eloise. Everyone reduces her to a not like other girls and annoying and privelidged but personally from the clips I've seen she does makes valid points (maybe awkwardly so and a little condescending but I just can't help but roll my eyes at the people who hate her because it always seems to come from such shallow...choice feminist lense) i have plans to watch it (mostly BECAUSE of the Eloise clips ive seen ngl) but I wanted to see your opinion on her as it seems you have a different take on her compared to what I've seen.

absolutely i will take the bait i love talking about my opinions. eloise is there to discredit feminism so you can turn your brain off and enjoy the show

eloise is my favourite character she says exactly what im thinking and she's right about everything. the "marriage mart" IS demeaning. the rules and norms of polite society ARE ridiculous. she IS being restricted and oppressed because of her sex - principally she is denied education when ALL her brothers are college educated

maybe i relate more than most because i also know what it's like to have a mother who is constantly on your ass about finding a man and getting married and how it's the highest form of happiness a woman can achieve

but eloise's feminism is put there for you to mock and roll your eyes at. the script wants you to see her as annoying judgmental and hypocritical. they frame her against daphne: isn't daphne so admirable for being so pragmatic? she doesn't complain like eloise, she plays the game even though she knows it's not fair. why can't eloise shut up and appreciate she's not the only one suffering? why can't she be happy for her sister's success with romance?

they frame her against theo: how dare eloise be concerned with her own experiences oppression and not prioritize the plight of the poor? she doesn't know anything about real suffering, she just victimizes herself because she's bored and narcissistic. if she REALLY had any conviction in her beliefs she would burn her life down to make a point.

they frame her against penelope: how insensitive and bullish she is for forcing her friend to agree with her radical politics (even though penelope never says shit to eloise that implies she doesn't agree). see how penelope can be smart and entrepreneurial AND appreciate romance? why can't eloise do the same? she's just bitter and lazy when compared to the TRUE feminist: a woman who can walk both worlds. see how feminism doesn't have to come with an annoying antisocial distain for romance? see how eloise is complaining about nothing actually and everything is fine for women because she could just shut up and make money by writing?

annoying? - i don't find women speaking up about their oppression whiny but the writers obviously want you to

judgmental? - all of her judgements are correct. "why can't she understand other women want different things ☹️" choice feminism indeed

hypocritical? - it's not hypocritical to acknowledge and complain about the ways you're being hurt without testing the limits of your chains, being oppressed is not a moral fault. dignity and freedom are not actually things eloise should have to earn, they are owed to all women regardless of action. and she IS doing something: she's avoiding marriage, she's reading as much as she can, she's writing a novel, she's TALKING and facing social consequences for refusing to conform

you ever notice how eloise is the only character ever condemned for being wealthy even though all the other characters in the show are also wealthy? and she doesn't even have her own money - it's her brother's money

eloise is, consciously or unconsciously, a message to young outspoken women to shut up and assimilate and be happy for patriarchal conforming women. it's just a phase, it's silly, you'll grow out of it and find a man

she also reinforces the perspectives of women who want to disagree with her: the penelopes and daphnes and violets of real life. women who want to make decisions about romance and femininity while feeling superior and not like a vapid antifeminist. they've secretly known all this time they're more practical and intelligent and happier than those miserable radicals, and now they can happily hate eloise in the open

most importantly she's there to sell the lie of the bridgerton fantasy. the bridgerton setting is unromantic and uncomfortable for exactly the reasons eloise proports, for women to be able to enjoy the show they need to be able to banish the eloise in the back of their thoughts and the easiest way to do that is to set up a character to embody those ideas and discredit her. oh you've noticed how this premise is suffocating and nightmarish? good now that we've acknowledged that let's move on with the steamy romance

the writers said how do we frame perfectly reasonable normal feminist ideas so that women feel comfortable disagreeing. eloise is a feminist but her character is antifeminist

[euphor1a]

So, do you guys ever feel like your life is a social experiment🧍🏽‍♀️

#🌺; aleyna rambles #lzkdhsjsj #sorry for dipping i have my finals going on lmao #the hardest part is over tho ☺️ #anyway i’m tired and miss jungkook 😔 #rewatching his lives are not helping as much it used to 💔💔💔 #how are you guys it’s been a while a feel like 😞 #also about my life being a social experiment #it’s like you’d think it can’t get worse than this. there’s no way. #and then it does 😭😭😭 like FUCJ IM TRYING MY BEST HERE WHY MAKE IT WORSE #2024 going horrible so far and january alone felt like a whole year with everything going on 😖 #ok enough of that i hope everyone is hopefully doing well and if not i’m sending you a big hug and the comfort food of your choice 👍🏼 #i shall answer some asks and queue some posts 👯‍♀️ #also hi to anyone new here 😊! sorry if this is the first post you’re seeing from me after following #we struggling in this house 366 days 😩

[heavencasteel420]

It is amazing to me that the show has a character who:

Explicitly says “my father forced me to kill and I was good at it, but I hated it”;

Makes multiple efforts to walk away from a fight where his opponent is doing the absolute most to provoke him and, upon finally snapping, handily beats him;

Stabs a dude with a pair of scissors in self-defense and immediately looks horrified at himself; and

Can stomach all kinds of gross and scary shit unless it involves harm coming to his little brother, whom he obviously has a lot of baggage about protecting.

And a not-insignificant number of people are like “his neurosis is that he feels bad about not being a fighter or a badass.”

#jonathan byers #it also feels like a very…meta? insecurity to give him #people who watch tv shows with a lot of action care about characters being badass #in real life most people have other concerns #that’s kind of my problem with how Eddie is written #that’s the problem of a tv character who knows he’s a TV character #also I didn’t grow up as a boy so I didn’t have the same experience #but as a girl who was really far away from being a socially acceptable girl for most of my childhood #I don’t think a lot of people get how that experience can cause you not to value what the in-group values #because it’s not attainable and you’re not getting to experience the rewarding part #I remember a friend’s mom telling me some mean girl was just jealous because I was smart #and I thought ‘I don’t think she really cares about being smart. we don’t value the same things’

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[amazingspider-z]

Continuing to be back on my bullshit, I'm rounding out the year with the next installment of my Blue Beetle au nonsense or.

AKA @wazzappp 's Blue Beetle headcanons give me life and I'm yoinking them because. Everyone deserves a little body horror. As a treat.

(Well. Except for Oo'Li, by virtue of being the type of alien (yk more or less) that the scarabs are using for that sweet sweet basic DNA template)

Anyway, following my timeline of Jaime ending up with his second 'upgrade' after the reboot re: Khaji Da's last ditch effort to keep him from smashing into the ground of terminal velocity, Xiomara and Roma end up more buggified after their altercation with the Crimson Scarab in issue...2? I think, when their powers get drained, in the same vein of their scarabs getting inventive with ways for their hosts to defend themselves in power drain scenarios.

In keeping with their power-sets/specialities, Roma ends up with a scorpion-esque tail (yes ik that's not an insect but if she can manifest tentacles Im saying it counts) and retractable claws, while Xiomara has fully armored hands/gauntlets and extra insectoid legs

#jaime reyes #oo'li a'barr #roma lopez #xiomara erazo #reachling au #it took me almost a. month and fighting for my life against art block (and ok. being distracted by ghost rider) but i made it #kicking and screaming but i made it #yeah idk why i added fancy dress even tho. i lost steam soo fast its just. some social/public event about the Horizon idk #anyway roma and xiomara might have escaped reachification but buggification leaves no prisoners #speaking of which. technically ig the Horizon are fairly alien-y for. a protagonist alien species (<so has to be bc of the Reach) but #can always be more :) #it is. soo obvious i started using references 4/5 the way into this but. whatever its fine #and ok. the teasing between oo'li and jaime did get me #....it might just bc bc i made jaime like. 1/3 reach and i think the hypothetical interplay would be fun #the cultural barriers! the flipping of it being his humanity that's new to oo'li vs the uh. everything else hes got going on #its about the vibes (<aroace and yet again leaning into relationships as a thought experiment maybe but. whatever) #also she's taller than him and yk. thats always fun

[itspileofgoodthings]

Well, I actually have the most mundane of questions, but it’s been so long since I’ve been in an English class that I feel like I’ve completely forgotten (and I’m curious how you do it): how do you go about reading a book as a class? Do you assign them the chapters to read at home and most of them actually do it? Or do you give them class time to read? Do you have the kids who try to spoil the rest of the book for the class? Basically, how does one teach a book in the year 2024?  😀

And do you have your students annotate inside their books? (I know the English teachers in my school require the students to do that, and I get why, but I inwardly shudder every time I see a student marking up a page.) 

Haha I love this question because I too am always asking myself how DOES one each a book in 2024?

It’s sort of a combination. I absolutely assign reading every night (almost) unless it’s Shakespeare or any play in which case we read it all in class. But for a novel there’s a couple chapters a night. I read aloud to them a lot too. Sometjmes I make them read aloud to the whole class, rotating kids who read. Sometimes I assign a chapter to be read in class silently with questions or quotes due at the end of the reading. Sometimes I put them in groups and make them read aloud to each other. There’s no one way that works for sure and of course ultimately I have no control over how much they read and I’m not naive enough to think that most of the reading assigned for homework doesn’t get skipped most of the time buuuuuut.

My bottom line is that I believe it’s my job to get excited about the actual text itself (easier for me in some cases than others but overall pretty easy because it does fill me with excitement) and then commit to taking them on the journey of the story with me. And my goal—that I’m sure I often don’t reach—is to make that experience so much more fun if you have actually read. And the way that I teach is pretty text heavy which is why I always make sure I’ve read the chapters for the day and am not just relying on my memory because the way I do it is just sort of absorbing it all up like a vacuum-cleaner, schwooooop, and then either pulling stuff out of the reading to look at directly or directing them to do the same thing. So the big thing that I have going for me, if any, is buy-in. Is getting kids excited about actually reading the actual text. I also speak often and passionately about the evils of sparknotes etc. not because they help kids get better grades or whatever but because they present you with the husk and shell of a story, stripped of all that makes it interesting, and that by reading that alone they’re reading something so dry and dull and are not achieving what I always want them to achieve —which is, have an Experience with the Literature.

Again, it never works perfectly by any stretch and there are so many ways I want to explore in my quest to get better at it but overall I think, at my very best, I can create this wave of energy and excitement in the story itself which is the most organic and ultimately most helpful way to get them to want to read.

Also no haha. I don’t let them annotate! Though occasionally kids DO of course. But sometimes they bring in their own copies in order to do that. The spoilers absolutely happen and are annoying but I sort of get by it by moving on very quickly and/or talking about how it’s often not the ending but how you get there that makes it interesting. Because that’s just true!

#gosh does this answer make sense #I am so passionate about doing it well and there are huge gaps in my teaching in terms of concrete stuff #but I am doing ….. Something in terms of bringing literature closer to them #and that’s what I want to do! #also love love love the bonus of getting to reread great works over and over until they start sinking into my brain #and I think (well I usually don’t think about it) but I think that the experience for them of watching me read it again #(and sometimes literally I won’t have time to read I need 10 minutes to finish this chapter and tell them to shut up) #(while I sit there and read it) #reminds them that I AM committed to doing the work with them. that I am actually doing it and that I want to! #and idk I think that is both a rarer experience and one that’s kind of underrated in terms of how much warmth it can create #because I have nothing in common with 16 year olds we couldn’t be friends in real life without it being very weird/possibly inappropriate #but in class we have a Thing to be friends about #we have a shared goal! and not just an arbitrary one but a deeply beautiful one #idk. there’s still a lot of boredom a lot of pushback a lot of disinterest #but I’m always amazed at how often kids do want to …. idk sink their teeth into something real #it’s REAL food for their minds. and the hunger for it is there even if they decide they’re too lazy to join the group #my goal is to —merely by the situation itself—make you feel left out of the fun if you refuse to do the work #so you can CHOOSE that but it’s less fun. it’s cold. it’s boring and it’s isolating #because refusing to do the work and insisting on being a little toad SHOULD come with natural social punishments in the form of exclusion #from the best kind of fun. it often does NOT. but yeah. I think I’m also getting better at shutting down toad behavior from adolescent male #this is where teaching co-Ed helps because there are some girls who are like ‘if you stop my learning I will kill you’ #not ENOUGH girls but some #ooooof this is a long answer but literally always on my mind #thank you for asking!!! also haha I assumed you were an English teacher yourself!

[countess-of-edessa]

the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.

#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today #not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek #out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview #and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i #believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of #life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave #this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not #I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw #but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate? #and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no #because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account #im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in #when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview #(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that) #(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?) #(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)

[eternal-reverie]

Something in the back of my mind has been bothering me for a long while, and I figured out what it was. I have this tendency of censoring myself when I speak? I dance around a subject, which I keep hinting at, but never explicitly say what I want to say, and when someone doesn’t pick up on that, I get disappointed when they don’t help me open up to the topic.

#the disappointment deepens and I guess the fear of truly opening up of showing my self flaws and all is scary #in short I’m scared to have an opinion!!! #also when people ask me what I’m into reading to watching oh man I feel the pressure to pitch it and possibly defend it #and instead I just vaguely share what it’s about for the sake of not spoiling the experience #then the envy I feel when other ppl share wholeheartedly what they love and take their time with it explaining #and they explain it so clearly and I wish I could do that #click clack #the problem was so vague it’s taken me awhile to discern #I’m guessing this all stems from being made fun of or dismissed for my interests 😔 #a long time ago but the effects still linger #the fear of being perceived is all wrapped in me #I do the same thing here. it bleeds to all the ways of socializing this day and age #I wish I were one of those ppl who have a more lively social life online and talking to ppl regularly #but my first instinct to a message is to close the notification and leave it for later because it’s so intimidating!!! #it feels like I have to perform an image that’s guaranteed to be liked rather than just be me authentically #ok I got to the crux phewwww uhhh lol got all my vulnerabilities out in the middle of the night

[butchcharliee]

☆

#i feel like there's something wrong with me like #i never know social cues and i talk about myself too much in conversations #and i never mean to do that #i literally have no idea how to get to know the other person without freaking out #and talk about myself bc thats all i know #also i feel like i end up saying weird stuff out of nowhere or i say it in a really weird way #then i make that other person uncomfortable #i have such trouble making friends #i always feel like im performing a facade and like if im being myself #im either boring or really weird #there's literally no in-between #it's been like this my whole life #i try hard to seem normal but im genuinely a weird person #not in a cute quirky way #just weird #could be a cute quirky way #but idk i used to freak people out when I'd be myself when i was young lol #do other people experience this? like is this normal or what ;-;

[chuchayucca]

Tbh I'm surprised nobody else has brought up the idea of Richard being abused too

It feels like a lot of potential for it and an explanation (aside from their status) as to why Roy never got help for it either -- Richard thought it was normal.

Now this is just making me imagine a scene where Carmen remarks that Roy will "grow out of it" (it being his behavior) like Richard did in front of the other Hatz and Ross and Robert just share a Look

Anddd now I'm wondering how much Carmen knows

TW for discussions of fictional CSA/SA and mentions of alcoholism

Me too, I thought it would be an obvious assumption but I guess not.

Exactly, I’ve seen the fandom explore Carmen and Roy’s relationship regarding his CSA but never with Richard. I think it’s ashamed because there’s a lot you can write for the relationship, even outside of their CSA.

Omg that’s a good scene idea. The Hatzgang are realized there is a deeper issue, and Roy has to unfortunately unpack that generational trauma. I can see how learning his dad is a possible CSA victim, like him, starts pushing Roy to tell his parents but also discourages him because basically Richard unknowingly knew Roy was SA but never recognized it because he doesn’t know he was SA too. I also believe Richard normalized his brother’s actions too. It’s truly devastating how Richard indirectly contributed to the normalization of Roy’s abuse but he doesn’t know it’s SA. He believes those fun “games” him and his brother played were normal family bonding activities and is happy to hear his son is getting along with his brother, a brother he admired when growing up.

These headcanons might change as the series continues and the deeper I get into research.

I headcanon Carmen doesn’t know anything but has suspected something was off a few times. She never thought anything of Richard’s behavior at first because he alway been this way. When they became adults, she started questioning as Richard still had issues with intimacy at that point in their relationship and his alcoholism was at its worst. (Short ver: Richard started drinking at a young age to cope with trauma of his SA and the Uncle encouraged this, buying him alcohol for various reasons. Modern day, Richard is a functional alcoholic but has gotten better with his drinking)

As of the moment, Roy’s parents are unaware of Roy’s CSA. The day the Uncle died, Roy did get in trouble but for separate reasons. Carmen and Richard were mad at Roy for hanging out with “plebeians” and sending them to one of his uncle’s private properties. Roy doesn’t feel comfortable telling them yet because they’re snobby, judgmental people, so he assumes they won’t react well.

#sorry if the length bothers you #This idea has been taking up my brain #There is so much to unpack about this idea like Richard’s life in the past. the generational truama. and Roy’s life in the present #I also want to apologize if some headcanons are poorly implemented. I feel there was certain headcanons I have that wouldn’t make sense- #without other pre-lore headcanons to explain them and I didn’t know to add them smoothly #I have so many thoughts for this AU they obviously focus on Richard’s youth and Roy in current #I’m currently interested in fleshing out Richard’s youth and how he dealt with the CSA without knowing it #Especially the social side of like being a boyfriend and having dumbass friends who also are dealing with their own issues. develop their- #own terrible habits. and encourage one another toxic behaviors because they were stupid teenagers #I do have a scene in mind when Roy eventually tells Carmen and Richard about his SA and have written a little for it #Like I’d mentioned there’s a lot of potential with this AU and I want to see the fandom talk about Roy and Richard’s relationship- #More so regarding their CSA experiences. I believe it can be a powerful story to write #Though one thing I don’t like about it is how I have to write for the Uncle and give him a character #just a awful character to write for #eugh #BTW I do have a sensitive reader for this AU but criticism is still very much welcome #spooky month #spooky month roy #spooky month carmen #spooky month richard #answered asks #ChuchaYucca.text #tw csa mention #tw csa #tw sa mention #tw sa #tw alchoholism

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy #been feeling weird as hell these past few months #like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days #or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day #idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this #just thinking #meposting #I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying #I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult #I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad. #whatever #I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that #dissociation #me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though #she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety #and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’ #I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time #I’m so solid now #so stuck in the ruts of capitalism #fuck capitalism #I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled #sorry I love talking #and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn? #it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing #I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence. #like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5. #overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names. #can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school #bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude #I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time