#also have to mention the reverse of like getting more interested in random things bc it could be relevant to the OCs fhsfks

[magnolia-sunrise]

raises my hand i have a quastion: how do your other interests affect/influence your ocs and storytelling?? :0 (also i hope the next month is much kinder to you!!)

waaaa wow thank you for a very interesting question as well as the well wishes <3 its been just kind of a sludge of bad times in our household but hopefully spring will bring better days soon!!

and i would say these days i let myself get influenced by my interests A LOT and its really fun :D i think outside of art my main interest is in films, books and experimental theatre and especially horror genre. i try to purposefully surround myself by interesting and different ideas and art because so often it inspires me with my own stories or characters. like buying random art books and zines, getting into comics and manga that people mention or recommend, going out to see the new indie movie whenever i can, following people who are so passionate about their own craft and stories that it makes me more passionate too. i think admitting to those influences and letting them clearly show is a form of expression and communication as well, like look reading all of Steel Ball Run deeply rewired my brain and im very happy about that and im happy to let my JJBA inspirations show!! or that time i travelled to see Hozier in the summer and the live performance of Eat Your Young was soooooo much, when i got home i had to paint that one vibrant pink and blue piece directly taking from the stage design of that tour!

for example Wolfgang was borne out of my frustration with mainstream android / robot media of the time (Westworld, Detroit Become Human, Blade Runner 2049) but also the history of the robot genre and its lack of accounting for transness in general, as well as my interest in neonoir genre and crime fiction/ detective archetypes and characters who don't fit into those archetypes neatly (thinking Twin Peaks and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). and then so much about how they present has come from my interest in high fashion. and many parts of their story and personality are influenced by music in some way or another as well, and their world has grown bigger feeding on different and newer inspirations etc etc

i'm not a writer primarily, and so i feel like developing characters and worldbuilding sometimes doesn't come easy to me or it's just kind of piece by piece of random arrangements so i try to open my mind to this strange organic process of letting things inspire and influence me and see how it affects what's cooking and rotating inside

i also always think of how Berserk so clearly started out influenced by predecessors and contemporaries like Fist of the North Star, JJBA, Rose of Versailles and Hellraiser and has become this absolute monument that has influenced so many other artists and creators. and if you're familiar with those other works, how interesting it is to read it and recognize the influences. it's like it's own type of language in a way, it's almost like you get to know a little bit more about the artist too if that makes sense

#answered #this turned into a long ass answer once again fhhsfs #thank you again <3 #also have to mention the reverse of like getting more interested in random things bc it could be relevant to the OCs fhsfks #i read so much about 5th-15th century clergy in europe......

[janecrockeyre]

scum villain is a greek tragedy disguised as a regular tragedy disguised as a comedy disguised as a danmei

this is going to be long, and this is only PART ONE.

a.k.a, Analysing the plot of Scum Villain’s Self Saving System through Aristotle’s Poetics, because I Have Mental Issues

Part One: Introduction and the Tragic Hero

Scum Villain’s Self Saving System is a tragedy disguised as a comedy, unless you’re Shen Yuan, in which case it’s a mixture of a romance and a survival horror. It's a fever dream. It's a horrible, terrible book that made me feel new undiscovered emotions when I finished reading it. 

The thing is... SVSSS shares characteristics with some of the most famous tragedies in the West, such as Oedipus Rex, Medea, Antigone, the Oresteia... if you haven’t read these, I’ll explain everything. But the gist of my argument is this: SVSSS is the perfect tragedy. In triplicate. 

Tragedy as a genre is old as balls and so it has meant slightly different things to different people over the last few thousand years. I'll be focusing on ancient Greek tragedy, which was performed at the yearly Festival of Dionysus in Athens during the 500-350s BC (give or take a hundred years). Aristotle, when writing about this very specific subset of tragedy, had no idea that one day Scum Villain would be written, and then that I would be using his work as a way to look at Shen Qingqiu’s Funky Transmigration Mistake. Anyway!

Greek tragedy greatly influenced European dramatic tradition. I have a lot of opinions about white academics idolising and upholding the classics as the "paragon of culture" but I'll withhold them for now. I have no idea if MXTX has read Greek tragedy or not, so don't take this as me saying they are writing it. 

In my opinion, tragedy is a universal human constant. We are surrounded by pain and hurt and none of it makes any sense, so we seek to process that pain through drama, art, literature, etc. We want to understand why pain happens, and how it happens, and try to make sense of the senseless. The universe is cold and cruel and random. Tragedy eases some of that pain. 

On that note: Just because I am analysing Scum Villain through a Greek lens doesn't mean that it was written that way. I'm pasting an interpretation onto the book when there's probably a very rich and deep history of Chinese tragedy that I just don't know about. If you ever want to talk about that, please, god, hit me up, I would love to learn about it!! 

Anyway, tragedy. MXTX is excellent at it! Mo Dao Zu Shi? Painful dynastic family tragedy. Heaven Official's Blessing? Mostly romance, but she managed to get that pure pain in there, huh? 

But in my opinion, Scum Villain holds the crown for the most tragic of her stories. MDZS was more of a mystery. TGCF was more of a romance. Neither of them shy away from their tragic elements. 

Scum Villain would fit right in between the work of Sophocles, Euripides and Aeschylus. How? Let me show you. Join me on my mystery tour into the world of "Aristotle Analyses Danmei..."

Part One: The Tragic Hero

What is a tragic hero? Generally, Greek tragic heroes are united by the same key characteristics. He must be imperfect, having a "fatal flaw" of some kind. He must have something to lose. And he must go from fortune to misfortune thanks to that fatal flaw. 

There are two (technically three) tragic protagonists in SVSSS and all of them are tragic in different but formulaic ways. Each protagonist has their own version of “hamartia” or a “fatal flaw”. 

Actually, hamartia isn’t necessarily a flaw - rather, it is a thing which makes the audience pity and fear for them, a careful imperfection, a point of weakness in the character’s morality or reasoning that allows for bad things to happen to them. For example, in Oedipus Rex, the king Oedipus has a “fatal flaw” of always wanting to find the truth, but this isn’t exactly a flaw, right? Note: this flaw can be completely unwitting, as we see with Shen Yuan. It can also be something that the protagonist is born with, some kind of trait from birth or very young. 

Shen Yuan

Shen Yuan’s “hamartia” is his rigid adherence to fate and his inability to read a situation as anything but how he thinks it ought to be. He believes that Bingmei will grow into Bingge, and it takes several years, two deaths, and some truly traumatising sex to convince him otherwise. 

Shen Jiu

Shen Jiu’s fatal flaw is his cruelty. It is his own sadistic treatment and abuse of Binghe which directly leads to his eventual dismemberment. This is kind of a no-brainer. Of course, it isn't all that simple, and as an audience we pity him for his cruelty as much as we fear it because we know it comes from his own abuse as a child. This just makes him even more tragic. Delicious. 

Luo Binghe

Luo Binghe’s fatal flaw is a complicated mix of things. It is his position as the “protagonist” which compels him to act in certain ways and be forced to suffer. It is his half-demonic heritage, something entirely out of his control, which sets in motion his tragic reversal of fortune when he gets yeeted into the Abyss. He also, much like Shen Yuan, has the propensity to jump to conclusions and somehow make 2 + 2 = 5. 

As well as having their respective “flaws”, all three protagonists match the rough outline of a good tragic hero in another way: they are in a position of great wealth and power. Even when you split the different characters into different “versions”, this still holds true. Yes, Luo Binghe is raised a commoner by a washerwoman foster mother, but his dad is an emperor and he also ends up becoming an emperor himself. 

Yes, Shen Jiu is an ex-slave and a victim of abuse himself, but Shen Qingqiu is a powerful peak lord with an entire mountain’s worth of resources at his back. 

Shen Yuan is a second generation new money rich kid. 

Bingge is a stereotypical protagonist with a golden finger. Bingmei is a treasured and loved disciple with a good reputation and a privileged seat by his shizun’s side. 

In a tragedy, having this kind of good fortune at the beginning of your story is dangerous. Chaucer says that tragedy is (badly translated into modern english) “a certain story / of him that stood in great prosperity / and falls out of high degree / into misery, and ends up wretchedly”. If we follow this line of thinking, a good tragedy is about someone who has a lot to lose, losing everything because of one fatal point of weakness that they fail to address or understand. 

If we look at Shakespeare, this is what makes King Lear such a fantastic tragic protagonist. He is a king in control of most of England, who from his own lack of wisdom and excess of pride, decides to split his kingdom apart to give to his daughters, favouring his murderous, double crossing progeny, and condemning his only actually filial daughter to death. He loses his kingdom, his mind, and his beloved daughter, all because of his own stupidity.

This brings us to:

Part Two: Peripeteia

This reversal of fortunes is called peripeteia. It is the moment where the entire plot shifts, and the hero’s fortunes go from good to bad. Think of it like one of those magic eye puzzles, where you stare at the image until a 3D shark appears, except you realise the shark was always there, you just couldn't ever see it, waiting for you, hungry, deadly, always lurking just behind that delightful pattern of random blue squiggles. 

Each tragic hero has their own moment of peripeteia in SVSSS, sometimes several:

Shen Qingqiu

In the original PIDW, SQQ’s peripeteia presumably occurs when he finds out that Bingge didn’t perish in the Abyss but has actually been training hard to come and pay him back. There’s really not much I’m interested in saying here - as a villain, OG!SQQ is cut and dry, and the audience doesn’t really feel any pity or fear for him. As Shen Yuan often mentions, what the audience feels when they see OG!SQQ is bloodlust and sick satisfaction. There is also the trial at Huan Hua Palace, which I will talk about in Shen Yuan’s section. 

Shen Yuan (SQQ 2.0)

One of SY’s most poggers moment of peripeteia is the glorious, terrifying section between hearing Binghe for the first time after the Abyss moment, and getting shoved into the Water Prison. 

“Behind him, a low and soft voice came: “Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu’s neck felt stiff as he slowly turned his head. Luo Binghe’s face was the most frightening thing he had ever seen.

The scariest thing about it was that the expression on his face was not cold at all. His smile wasn’t sharp like a knife. Rather, it showed a kind of bone-deep gentleness and amiability.”

This is the moment of true horror for Shen Yuan, because he knows what happens next: the plot unfurls before him, inevitable and painful, and he knows that death awaits him at Luo Binghe's hands (lol). Compare it with the bone deep certainty with which he faces his own downfall during the sham of a trial later in the chapter (I’ve bolded the important part):

“In the original work, Qiu Haitang’s appearance signified only one thing: Shen Qingqiu’s complete fall from grace. [...] Shen Qingqiu’s heart streamed with tears. Great Master… I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’ll actually suffer if she speaks her words clearly. This truly is the saying “not frightened of doing a shameful deed, just afraid the ghost (consequences) will come knocking”!”

After the peripeteia is usually the denouement where the plot wraps up and the threads are all tied together leaving no loose ends, but because this tragedy isn’t Shen Yuan’s but the former Shen Jiu’s, it’s impossible to finish. 

Shen Yuan cannot provide the meaningful answers that the narrative demands because 1) he doesn’t have any memory of doing anything, and 2) he wasn’t the person who did them. Narratively, he cannot follow the same path as the former SQQ because he lacks the same fatal flaw: cruelty. 

This is why Binghe doesn’t kill him - because he loves him, rather than despises him. And this is why Shen Yuan has to sacrifice himself and die for Luo Binghe in order to save him from Xin Mo: because the narrative demands that denouement follows peripeteia, and SQQ’s fate is in the hands of the narrative. 

(Side note: I believe that this literal death also represents the death of OG!SQQ's tragic arc. The body that committed all those crimes must die to satisfy the narrative. SQQ must die, like burning down a forest, so that new growth can sprout from the ashes. After this, Shen Yuan's story has more room to develop instead.)

It must happen to show Bingmei that SQQ loves him too. And this brings us to Bingmei.

Bingmei

Bingmei has two succinct moments of utter downfall. The first is a literal fall - his flaw, his demonic heritage, leads his beloved shizun to throw him down into the Abyss. From his point of view, SQQ is punishing him simply for the status of his birth. He rapidly goes from being loved and cherished unconditionally, to being the victim of an assassination attempt. 

He realises that he is totally unlovable: that for the crimes of his species that he never had a hand in, he must pay the price as well: that his shizun is so righteous that no matter what love there was between them, if SQQ sees a demon, he will kill it. Even if that demon is Bingmei. 

The second moment is when SQQ dies for him. Again, from his point of view, he was chasing after a man who was struggling to see him as a human being. Shen Qingqiu’s death makes Bingmei realise that he has been completely misunderstanding his shizun: that SQQ would literally die for him, the ultimate act of self sacrifice from love: that SQQ loved him despite his demon heritage. 

Much like King Lear holding the corpse of his daughter and wailing in sheer grief and pain because he did this, he caused this, Bingmei gets to hold his shizun's cold body and cry his eyes out and know that it was his fault. (Kind of.)

(Yes, I’m bringing Shakespeare into this, no I am not justifying myself)

Maybe I'm a bit sadistic, but that scene slaps. Let me show you a comparison of scenes so you get the picture. 

Re-enter KING LEAR, with CORDELIA dead in his arms; EDGAR, Captain, and others following

KING LEAR

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:

Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so

That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!

I know when one is dead, and when one lives;

She's dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,

Why, then she lives.

[...]

 KING LEAR

And my poor fool is hang'd! No, no, no life!

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,

Never, never, never, never, never!

Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.

Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,

Look there, look there!

Dies

Versus this scene in SVSSS: 

Luo Binghe turned a deaf ear to everything else, greatly agitated and at a loss of what to do. He was still holding Shen Qingqiu’s body, which was rapidly cooling down. It seemed like he wanted to call for him loudly and forcefully shake him awake, yet he didn’t dare to, as if he was afraid of being scolded. He said slowly, “Shizun?”

[...]

Luo Binghe involuntarily held Shen Qingqiu closer.

He said in a small voice, “I was wrong, Shizun, I really… know that I was wrong.

“I… I didn’t want to kill you…”

PAIN. SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL PAIN. Yes, I know Shakespeare isn’t Athenian, but he was inspired by the good old stuff and he also knew how to write a perfect tragedy on his own terms. Anyway. I’ll find more Greek examples later.

This post was a bit all over the place, but I hope it has been fun to read. Part Two will be coming At Some Point, Who Knows When. This is a bit messy and unedited, but hey, I’m not getting paid or graded, so you can eat any typos or errors. Unless you’re here to talk to me about Chinese tragedy, in which case, please pull up a seat, let me get you a drink, make yourself at home.

ps: if you want to retweet this, here is the promo tweet!

#svsss #scum villain #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #greek tragedy #hello followers this account has been silent for a long time but today i bring you whatever this is #long post #i am gonna cross post more art here from my twitter i think #you guys really like my shitposts on here

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)

#obey me #tma #cursed tma x om crossover #obey me headcanons #tma the entities #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor

[palukoo]

ooh Idea- donna is AMY’s assistant for the au asks?

ooh boy okay!! this got really fucking long because of course it did! yk, the post said 5+, so!! there’s like 11 bullet points that are all very long under a cut

donna still does go to the bartlet campaign first. i think she maybe leaves a little bit in because she realizes she doesn't like campaigning that much, because you aren't getting anything done yet, and she wants to be getting things done now. or maybe, actually, when she leaves the bartlet campaign for her boyfriend, she's too embarassed to go back after breaking up with him, and ends up looking for other ways of working in politics

how she ends up working for amy, and where amy is working are really, really funny conceptually to me. because i'm a little obsessive about where amy is working when but the timelines don't make a ton of sense? she'd either be at now or the wlc, probably, and either is fine bc tww is also pretty vague on what amy actually like functionally does? she's a political director iirc, but i make her more of a lobbyist, bc she does some lobbying in canon, but she also gives speeches and does debate prep? idk. anyways, i like the idea of donna just going into the wlc or now bc women's rights! but i also think it's kind of hysterical if it's more pointed/less random, like josh either suggests it or mentions amy in passing and donna is like oh that sounds fun. i feel like she may actually apply in this case, but who knows? anyways, amy is impressed by her work ethic and sense of humor and her experience with the bartlets and josh (and her reasons for leaving, if its about not liking campaigns) and hires her on the spot

oh god, the banter is so fun to think about. i mean, i've genuinely written so much about just like. how amy and donna bounce off of each other, because it's fun, and because it's them it's probably flirtatious, but amy would absolutely not genuinely make a move on her assistant. i think they also both help a lot with the other's self doubt or whatever, with donna pushing amy to do more but also to take care of herself and take a step back sometimes, and amy just showing that she cares about donna's opinions and insights into whatever they're working on, and sort of forgetting that she's her assistant and not her co-conspirator, and sort of calling donna on her constant bad dates in early seasons, too ("don't go on that date, donna" "jealous?" and maybe she is, sort of, a bit, but that's really not the point. "disappointed in your taste. or your concept of yourself." "what's that mean?" "you could do better." "could I?" "yes." "then give me something better to do tonight, amy." and amy doesn’t ask her to stay) (don't think about amy finding out about dr. freeride and the conversation that would follow don't think about it don't think about it)

oh but things get fun once we get to a point where amy's there in canon, because you now have donna working with josh again in a roundabout way, and she left him, and she still feels guilty about it, and she can sort of see the glimpse into what it would've been like, if she had stayed. and amy and josh are like. just a mess, obviously. my brain is also stuck on the concept of that conversation amy and josh have in women of qumar but in reverse ("are you dating donna?" "no." "i heard you might be" "i'm not" "she's cute." "she's my assistant." but it also has a lot more. implications for him to hear that than for her to, so. that's fun). i kind of have no idea what amy and josh's relationship would look like in this au so. not gonna dwell on that. (except to say that the concept of donna "gather ye rose buds"-ing amy about josh is Really fucking funny, partially bc amy would just be like "he's a thorn not a bud")

when amy gets fired, donna's upset with josh about it, because she's spent the last... three and a half? years working with amy, so she's probably more on amy's side here, even if she will admit it was kind of reckless. donna's given a chance to stay at the wlc, but she goes with amy, which amy is baffled and terrified by, because she doesn't know what to do with that kind of loyalty (”you’ll never lose me amy” “please don’t say that”) and because she... doesn't have a job, really, at the moment. she pays donna, anyways, and makes sure she has a job with the stackhouse campaign with her if she wants it. donna takes it, and doesn't question why amy's doing it. she doesn't question why amy leaves, either, and amy doesn't get why she comes with her, again.

around when amy gets hired by abbey (and brings donna on with her if she wants it, which of course she does) amy kind of snaps and asks her why she keeps working with her, why she won't stay somewhere and climb up a ladder or go anywhere, she's qualified as hell and could and should be working a better job, should be doing anything other than following amy over cliff after cliff, should not be working for her at this point, and... donna kind of thinks its obvious. she loves working with amy, loves that they do new things all the time, that the work feels important, loves the opportunities amy has given her and that the work feels important. amy sort of lets it rest and throws herself into work with abbey, and we finally get to have donna with the whole group again somewhat, but its a conversation that they sort of keep having without really having, until donna finally snaps and says something like "do you want me to quit?" or "do you want to fire me?" or "do you want me to leave?" idk, and amy maybe says yes, and maybe doesn't answer, and that's commencement (of course the idea of donna and josh doing "you have to get amy" and "are you in love with amy" is also really. interesting to me bc of how you'd have to make it work and i don't not have thoughts)

once things have settled, a little bit, after zoey's gotten back, donna goes to amy and tells her like "i'll resign. if you don't want me here... i'm not gonna make you fire me, but if you don't want me here, i'll go." and amy is a mess of a person, so she's like. "okay." and donna's naturally upset by that, and oh, this is happening during constituency of one, by the way! so donna leaves, amy gets yelled at by jed, goes to josh's office and sort of has a breakdown about everything, and when he says "apologize, you gotta apologize" he means to jed and to donna, and she goes to jed and quits and everything ('this building isn't very conducive to relationships’ hits here, huh) and tells him that he or abbey should hire donna, that she's incredible and one of the best people she's ever worked with, and she leaves.

donna takes the job (i'm not sure about specifically what job? i do really like the concept of her being abbey's cos for a lot of reasons but idk if she'd be like "qualified" for it at this point? maybe she gets taken on as like an interim cos for her but abbey just keeps her, anyways. or it could be something in legislative affairs bc i loved angela and donna working together) and feels too weird and sort of hurt to reach out to amy even though she does get amy well enough to sort of get it, she's also too insecure to really get it. someone mentions, in passing, at some point, that amy told jed to give donna a job, and she's sort of touched and sort of insulted and it's all complicated, and abbey or whoever reassures her that she has this job because she deserves this job, not just because amy recommended her. very highly.

cj probably points out a lot of stuff about amy and their relationship to donna in my no exit analog bc i love a good bottle episode, and cj being friends with both of them and being super perceptive is so important to me. i will also not be discussing gaza here bc i honestly don't think in this au that donna would be going

she and amy run into each other either at some fundraiser thing abbey and amy are both speaking at, or in some lobbying meeting or something, and amy's glad to see her doing well, and it assuages a little of her guilt over the whole thing. they have a really awkward conversation, something like "are you enjoying the new job?" "yeah, i really am. i guess i should thank you, since i hear you helped me get it." "you don't... it kind of felt like the least i could do." "yeah, well. thanks, anyways." "i miss you." "then why did you tell me to leave?" "you're the best assistant and probably the best friend i've ever had, you know." "so you decided to ensure i was no longer either?" "i was kind of only going for the first one." “well, you always were an overachiever.” and then they have to like. go and do their jobs bc they’re very busy people. but things are a little better between them now

finally, at some point, god knows when or how or why, donna’s probably made a joke about it, or something, and amy just says something like “i didn’t want you to work for me anymore because i knew you could do better, could do more, than being my assistant, but i didn’t want to tell you to leave.” and donna, who gets amy just nods and says “i appreciate that. i really did love working with you, but i appreciate that. could’ve said that then.” and amy laughs and rolls her eyes, and donna gives her a look. “is that the only reason you didn’t want me to work for you anymore?” and amy just shakes her head, and donna starts to say something, expects to have to say something, but amy kisses her and says “i’m really glad you don’t work for me anymore.” and donna laughs and says “i am, too.”

#asks #answered #claudiasjeancregg #amy gardner #donna moss #tww #honestly this was really hard for me bc one of the things i really like about donna/amy in canon is that donna has never worked for amy #like theres power dynamics obviously but that amys never been a part of the chain of command that donnas in. not really #but this was fun to think about and figure out how i could make it work #i also genuinely think amy would've either promoted or gotten donna to run way earlier but need that maximum drama #ALSO this just turned into fic whoops #the dialogue was just easier than explaining it but also its not like. fixed entirely to be in their voices this is too open for amy lmao #also of course i made this gay :) i would also love it just as an amy donna brotp concept but yk

[astroninaaa]

Hot takes

Ranboos character is incredibly boring, he does nothing for the plot. On top of that he is such a Mary sue since everybody loves him and overall he lacks any enemies. Not to mention the pacing of his current arc is frustratingly long.

Tubbo had a promising character arc during the whole L'manburg president wall arc where he exiled Tommy. I was excited to see him develop only to have him do a full boring circle and go back to square one of being a dynamic yet flat character who's potential is on the bench catching dust alongside Niki's, Fundys, and Erets.

Wilbur shouldn't have been revived at all and Ghostbur being sent on a train in Limbo without having a decent character arc is so disappointing like Jesus they slaughtered my boy-

I'd fucking ascend if Tommy finally had a good character arc were he developed as a character and didn't just reverse it minutes later, especially since the whole story somewhat revolves around Tommy like please at least let him mature a bit.

Kinoko kingdoms residents should have just teamed up with Eret and made a whole cool arc where they access the damage dream did to them and work on making a big ass kingdom like I would love to see it since that group has barely developed throughout all arcs.

Ranboo and Karls lore is basically the equivalent of filler side quest that does nothing to the overall game but is interesting enough to grab your attention initially.

Thanks for listening I'll be here all night!

gonna answer them one by one wait

meanwhile, send me a hot take!!!

1. agreed, honestly. i think he adds a bit to the story by making other characters get some development (c!tommy and c!sam specially), but narratively he is quite useless. i think his character has a lot of wasted potential (at least for now). i agree 100% that he's a mary sue he is THE mary sue of the server. i do agree with the pacing of his arc as well- it's just very very much only internal conflict and nothing else but there's only so much you can do for development with monologues and introspective moments. it's not necessarily bad and i get that there's people who like it, i'm just not one of them bc it's not the type of narrative i like to watch/read.

2. yeah, that's true. as much as i adore c!tubbo and he's my favorite character with absolutely no doubts about it, he is in need of some development. i do think he gets it from time to time tho- the whole nukes thing, building the interrogation room, getting walls around snowchester -, all of them are signs of who he is and of how everything that has happened to him affects him. that's important. it'd be nice to see it more worked on, but i believe that's something that will come with time (or not. cc!tubbo is not the biggest rp fan tho so i don't even mind)

3. ngl i LOVE c!wilbur being revived that was something i was so excited about bc i feel like he's someone that's gonna make the story move and i want that. i want that so bad. please c!wilbur make things happen. i was extremely upset with ghostbur's demise, tho. ghostbur deserved so much better and the prospect of him just being stuck in the train station forever is really, really disappointing, specially since cc!wilbur has said he has no plans for ghostbur anymore.

4. mmmmmmm hard disagree. i think c!tommy's getting good characters arcs ever since the smp started. cc!tommy is definitely one of the better writers in the smp and i love him for it. the thing is that c!tommy's arcs are a lot of "one step forward, three steps back", which can be really, really frustrating, but still works and sets a coherent pace to his characterisation. i like it, but i get where you're coming from and respect it

5. AGREED ABSOLUTELY AGREED like what was the point......... of starting a whole new kingdom......... if they had, as you said, just joined c!eret, that would've been amazing in so many ways. it'd add so much to plot, like fr. i love that idea and i support it so bad. specially bc kinoko kingdom just feels... empty? i guess? idk i feel like it has no history or depth to it but maybe that's just me. wouldve liked it a lot more if they had merged with someone else- even fucking c!niki, since they just built on top of her city without any regard for her lmaoooo

6. oh, c!karl's story is definitely a sidequest to the main story, but i don't think that's a bad thing. it's mostly irrelevant to the smp and, honestly, id prefer it if they kept it that way with exceptions to like.... add spice? like with the masquerade episode and the egg that was just SO GOOD bc it didnt really matter overall to the story but it gave the egg arc more depth and i think that's super, super cool and i hope they do it more. i like the idea of a little spin-off happening alongside the main story, it's just cool and can add a lot to the smp if done right. for now, i like it, bc i believe it's doing just that, and the whole thing with c!karl and the other side and the inbetween bits is quite interesting and makes the "random character travels through time" sidequest just,,,,, more than it would be without it. about c!ranboo......... mainly yes but also no? like, i think if it's worked on then his lore will stop being just a sidequest. i wish they explored his relations with c!dream more, bc, to me, that was the most interesting and curiosity-inducing part of his lore. everything else feels too disconnected from the important things happening rn. idk tho that might be just me LMAOOOOO

#hot take ask!!! #c!ranboo critical #c!tubbo critical even tho i defend my boy #idk who else #LMAO

[smores100]

once again we’re in full agreement lol. What’s your take on s3 remakes you’ve watched? Wondering how you feel about Skam FR as it’s kind of a similar situation to me where the chemistry & beauty is there but the writing and style is iffy (overwrought &overdramatic). My favorite s3 is druck. As a wlw I had high hopes for españa but it was p slow/v desexualized—a whole discussion, but my other gay friend & I were disappointed given how remakes with guys don’t hold back in that respect.. Thoughts?

Honestly re: wtfock tho I really do wonder if they had like one good writer in the room surrounded by fools. Bc it really does feel like some group projects I’ve been in where I feel like I’m the only one who’s not a fucking fool and carry the whole thing while having to fend off bad ideas (but when the majority rules, those bad ideas/execution get put in). I wonder if that’s what happened w wtfock.

re: wtfock, lol group projects are the worst….idk what wtfock’s writing process was like, but i’d love to know it. according to their wiki there were 3 writers this season? all seem to be male, naturally. did the two other writers have good ideas but there was a main writer who overruled them and did his own thing? or maybe they’re the rl one brain cell squad, that would explain a lot :p in any case, i’m unimpressed (friday’s clips did not help with that).

as for the other part of your ask….oh damn i have so many Thoughts on that, lol. this is probably gonna get long and messy, but you asked for it!

* druck - my absolute favorite. it’s the only one i’ve watched since s1, so that definitely played a part in my emotional investment and attachment. still, there was more to it than that. it was the closest to og imo in vibe and style (it felt small, real, lowkey, quiet, natural like og, as opposed to - as you said - overwrought and overdramatic + overproduced like the others); they cast an actual trans guy to play a trans character, if you wanna talk about a skam remake doing something REVOLUTIONARY? druck is the one; i loved matteo’s and david’s characterizations, how they both had a bit of isak and even in them, and the role reversal in some scenes, made things feel fresh *and* fit their characters/story; i LOVE that teens matteo and david were played by actual teens michi and lukas!! they’ve completely ruined me for all other remakes, bc thissssss is how it’s supposed to be! thisssss is how it should look like! THEY ARE KIDDOS. and they (druck and michi/lukas) truly captured what it’s like to be young and fall in love for the first time, the awkwardness and the nervousness and stuttering and fumbling around, the softness and pureness and innocence of it all!!! also they have THE BEST dynamic - other people might prefer all the hot kissing and steamy making out and the smouldering looks, but me? i just couldn’t get enough of their dumb chaotic energy, best friends who love each other deeply and are also constantly little shits to one another. gimme them pranking each other and playfighting every day! and then being soft and THE HANDS and matteo being a clingy koala basking in david’s affection :3 i also loved how for the most part they didn’t just copy/paste og’s storyline, they made some changes and knew how to make *other* changes accordingly for it to make sense and fit the story *they* were telling - for example, replacing the ‘call your gf’ scene with matteo’s panic attack/breakdown (one of my fave scenes), or their reunion at the end of ep 7 (replacing the desperate kissing + sex with a comforting and relieved yet also bittersweet and melancholic hug), or even matteo getting advice from his drug dealer instead of the school’s doctor, lol. also THE BEST BOY SQUAD, hands down. and matteo is my favorite isak bc to me he felt like his own character instead of just another isak, he was different and reletable and a constant Mood. that being said - it wasn’t perfect and it had its issues. there were a few times when i did feel they stuck too close to og scenes and it didn’t *entirely* work for me, just felt a bit off; i will forever be disappointed that they didn’t directly address and acknowledge matteo’s mental state/depression, bc there were enough signs imo to indicate that he did suffer from something. they mentioned ‘therapy’ in mia’s, alex’s and kiki’s cases, i truly thought they would with matteo as well, but alas, they dropped the ball on that one; i was extremely upset with david’s outing, but i’ve since calmed down and have managed to see it in a more positive light, tho i still have mixed feelings about it and am not fully on board with that decision, still wish it had been done differently (but at least! it wasn’t brushed off and was addressed immediately and eventually led to david having agency and yelling out his pain!!! which was good and important and cathartic); also eps 8 and 9 were pretty messy writing-wise, things either didn’t make sense or would’ve made more sense had the clips were organized differently (that random ping pong clip….?). overall tho, the good outweighed the bad, and it remains my fave

* skam france - now that’s a tricky one. the way i felt about it in the first half of the season, is different from the way i felt about it in the second half of the season, is different from the way i feel about ever since watching druck’s s3. it’s funny you should say how similar it is to wtfock for you, bc i’ve been thinking the same thing for quite some time. those neighboring countries sure have a shared flair for the dramatic! fr’s s3 was pretty much the first s3 i watched (i gif-watched half of skamit, couldn’t get into it). i wasn’t planning to (i was extremely unimpressed by the couple of s1 eps i tried watching, and same by axel’s acting in those first two seasons), but even is the loml and they got me gooood with their eliott pov trailer, which might have affected my excitement over it during the first half. back then i really enjoyed it for the most part, despite some clips being rushed or missing the point thus not fully having the required effect (their locker room scene, for example, or the ‘generalizations are bad’ convo), or how much i hated basile (a character so obviously written by a man it’s amazing), or the cheesy piano music. there were enough good things for me to focus on instead (more in a bit) that i could ignore the things i didn’t like or weren’t as good imo. however, all the positivity got sucked out of me when yann noped tf out after lucas came out to him bc WAY TO MISS THE POINT OF SKAM!!! and things went downhill after the director’s IT’S NOT DISNEYLAND IT’S FRANCE 2019 comment. i’m getting all upset just thinking about it, but to say *that*, to explain that horrendous decision bc lowkey homophobic reactions are realistic!!! only to THEN be all ‘haha jk yann isn’t homophobic! we just wanted you to *think* he was! he’s actually an awesome friend who took several days to reflect on all his past wrongdoings while his bff was at home having a nervous breakdown bc he believed his bff hated him!’ ughhhhhhhhh, miss me with that shit. great that they had yann apologizing for his past comments, but the way in which it was done was for pure shock value and angst, completely ooc for his character (all season he was all ‘tell me tell me tell me let me help let me help let me help’ only to do *that*?? nahh), and interesting how out of everyone the only black character was the only one with a negative reaction (remind you of anyone), highlighted even more during ep 7 aka the ott lucas coming out tour. then ep 8, that should have been 100% all lucas and eliott and building up to eliott’s manic episode suddenly had that weird random pov changing clip in the middle of it which truly wtf, basile was still basile, lucas thanked chloe for outing him, more scenes felt rushed, they had sex in school where people could come and go in front of huge windows in broad daylight and luckily didn’t get poisoned from licking all that paint! and i did not like the flatshare, i absolutely hated mika and lisa kicking lucas out of his room - which he pays rent for! - and manon not even trying to put up a fight, and them being like ‘roommate isn’t just a place, it’s a way of living. that’s a family, and you’re more like a cousin.’ ‘a second cousin.’ ughhhhhh and then when eliott was recovering from his depressive episode, they *still* didn’t give lucas his room back or at least let eliott stay there, he was sleeping on the couch, i’m aldjlajdafj. can’t believe i’m gonna say it, but TAKE NOTES FROM WTFOCK. tl;dr there were some good moments in the second half, but i was feeling bitter more often than not about certain things, so my enjoyment wasn’t as high as when it first started. and after watching druck, druck’s brand is definitely much more my style. plus, i was already struggling with making myself believe axel and maxence were in their teens, but after druck it’s completely impossible, so i just pretend they’re in college or something lol. all my issues with it aside, i’d still rate it higher than wtfock, bc overall the writing was better, more coherent, and made much more sense. i also liked lucas’ friendship with the girls; i loved that instead of copying the underwater kiss + 21:21 like some others have, they came up with their own thing i.e. polaris, which i thought was lovely; the lucas/manon crying in the middle of the night together in front of the tv was one of my fave scenes of the season; also love how we were introduced to eliott on the first week! and they spent time together! and specifically the piano playing scene, ohhhh; and in general elu are sweet and i reeeeally like axel and maxence and their friendship. so yeah, it had some major issues, but i’d rather have a coherent story with something done for shock value and drama ONCE than an incoherent story with several shock value moments.

* skam espana - sorry to hear you girls were disappointed! i only watched half of it, so i can only comment on what i saw. i decided to binge watch s1 and give s2 a shot when i heard they were giving cris isak’s story - it felt a bit weird to me, but it was also something different and new, and i did have an appreciation for their decision to have a wlw season (also much more revolutionary to me than showing a gay bashing), so i was intrigued and willing to try it. sadly i didn’t really vibe with s1? it’s totally a personal preference i think, maybe even a cultural thing idk, but it felt very fast and loud and hectic to me, idrk how to explain it. i was just more into the chill more lowkey vibe of druck and skamnl. but i still gave s2 a shot, and idk, it still wasn’t my cup of tea. i thought it was ok for the most part, but there were some things that bothered me - joana/cris felt underdeveloped to me? and things b/w them felt like they were moving so fast from the second they met, like jona was so intense and forward ALL THE TIME, they had like 6 almost kisses in a really short time, like shhh slow down. i remember disliking their ‘call your gf’ scene, it felt really petty and kinda mean to me? bc i felt like joana came on to cris *really* strongly and *very* frequently, so cris was more than entitled to feel hurt and betrayed when she found out joana had a bf, but then cris was kissing a dude and joana positioned herself and her bf in front of cris so she’d see them kissing too, and i just didn’t like bc seriously?? cris is valid, just apologize to her and explain?? idr much else tbh, they had some really cute and sweet scenes afterwards, i’m still against doing the underwater kiss + 21:21 so i was kinda meh about that (tho aesthetically speaking it was BEAUTIFUL, and i’m like, fiiiiine girls deserve an underwater kiss too, i’ll allow it just this once!), and that cuddling clip in ep 6 i think was sweet and the last one i watched. like i said, i was less vibing with this remake, and iirc it was going on during druck’s s3 and skamnl’s s2 - which were my faves, plus skamfr was on too i think and i was lowkey following it too, so….there was just too much all at once and something had to go, and it was skamesp. it was also around the time when panaphobia-gate happened, so *shrugs* i’m not wlw myself so your opinion on it being desexualized is probably more valid than mine? i just know when i did watch, there was a lot of kissing and making out and being cute and touchy with each other, so i thought it was ok? as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t need to see a naked butt or anything like that to *get* it lol, i thought they were lovely! but that’s just me. i will say that my faaaave part was most definitely the cris/amira friendship. they were so wonderful! one of the best skam friendships imo. i might one day go back and finish the season just for the heck of it, but they didn’t do anything major or highly offensive that made me have negative feelings towards it, it was just a personal preference + circumstances (too many remakes!) that made me be less into it and drop it before the end.

#phallusophical #replies #sorry for the gigantic wall of text! #but like i said - you asked! haha #i'd put this under a read more but my blog theme makes it harder to read there so....sorry! #all those who aren't interested in my opinions just quickly scroll past this just this one time ty #aaaaanyway hope this answered your question??? 😊 #skam remakes #long post #druck #skam france #wtfock #skam spain

[jq37]

thoughts on this week's ep?

**spoilers for broadway brawl**

***Before we start, I remembered as I was typing this one of the important notes I lost from last week’s recap: Interesting that Christmas seemingly went off without a hitch. I expected Santa to come back into play somehow (like, someone would check on him to make sure Christmas was still on or he’d call them in to help or something) but he hasn’t, at least not yet.***

My guys, my guys, my guys. Was that something or was that something?

I think I am on record as saying that combat is my least favorite part of ttrpgs generally speaking because I’m here for the RP but when a combat episode shines it really freaking shines (see eg: that first combat ep of Bloodkeep where everyone went full Galaxy Brain except for Matt who couldn’t hit a single thing) and this is such a good example. This is easily a top five ep of the season for me, maybe top three so let’s get into it and break down why it was so awesome.

We start right where we left off with Titania and members of her court having come into the theater to beat the tar out of Misty mid-show.

Quick note: At the end of last ep, it was set up so that Misty was thrust on stage right after hearing the mirror was on stage which would place this fight right at the top of Act 2 but at the start of this ep, Brennan seems to indicate that it’s taking place during what would be the closing number. Which would make more sense but imagine you go see a play, the first act is super dope, and then the second act is an insane, minute long fight that’s pretty unconnected to the plot and then a buff, naked, beautiful man tells you the show is over and you should leave. Wild. Anyway.

Pixies with tommy guns in inherently funny.

So one of the things that makes this fight really great is the way it directly ties into the story in a way besides “These bad guys are in our way.” Misty is using this show as a part of her reincarnation spell so if the show is messed up, it fails and she’s on her last life. Brennan has a cool mechanic of making her roll death saves every round at a difficulty lower than her modifier (which is s/t crazy like 11) but that gets harder with damage done to her and performance checks failed by other players who decide to jump on stage. It’s a great way to make the battle feel like it has more personal stakes and it’s my fave original Brennan mechanic since the Family in Flames Sophie’s Choice situation.

(I love that the death save counter is changed for theater comedy/tragedy masks for this. Nice touch.)

Em, Esther, and Wally are also at the fight which is clutch.

Also, Sondheim is specifically here which is an insane detail to add just because.

WILD that no one knows what’s going on with the ritual initially because, as Lou almost does, getting all the civilians out is the smart move and it would COMPLETELY ruin Misty’s plans instantly.

Lou having Kingston take the stairs bc’s he’s 50+ years old and has no time for that nonsense has equal but opposite energy to him doing extra rolls for Fabian to do unnecessary parkour before a simple attack because Fabian’s Like That.

Murph fireblasts the hell out of Titania’s foot soldiers right off the bat from outside of counterspell range which is very cool.

“Give me a performance check for the cockroach.”

“You’re upstaging me bitch?”

Another great thing about this fight is that because of it’s theatrical nature, everyone’s RPing it more than a usual battle ep (or more intensely maybe is what I mean).

Titania hypnotizes Don Confetti and his goons into fighting for her.

“She doesn’t know she’s in a play but she does sing most of her dialogue which is helpful for you.” Titania is just Like That.

Pete drops an erupting earth and drops a sick 37 damage on those same minions Kug got.

I didn’t notice before but yeah, Ally does roll die like a f-ing beyblade champion.

Emily hearing Murph’s low key, offhand comments and cracking up is great.

“Get Sondheim!” (Emily and then Ally: WHAT?!)

Actual living dude Stephen Sondheim being involved in this fight is just so ridiculous and fun and crazy.

We go around to Misty’s turn and she has to beat a 28 (upped from 10) and she fails which feels worse than a normal failed death save somehow.

Lou, in a very good RP move, tells Pete to tell Misty to end the show so she can tell them not to so the group has a valid reason to not evacuate which is a thing they (or at least him and Ricky) would obviously want to do.

Sophie, the madwoman, jumps out of the balcony, grabs a costume, then runs on stage. Emily’s glee at being told that her grabbing the costume will give her advantage is great. She’s always trying to figure out how to make the most of her moves. She is the living embodiment of the concept of method to madness (which is from Hamlet since we’re talking Shakespeare today). 

Ox is constantly dying (Brennan!) but also it’s like, why was he even there before the fight started? I’ve never seen a non-service dog in a theater.

Ricky: Is this part of it?

Oh, forgot to mention that everything that happens on stage is kinda shielded by the Umbral Arcana so everyone watching thinks it’s part of the show, which is a cool plot detail.

Ricky gets fULLY NAKED (Emily, with perfect comic timing: Now do I roll with disadvantage?) and leaps into the fray. He casts Protection from Evil and Good on her which (1) He does by Magic Mike body-rolling on her while he’s naked and considering how much shorter she is that her raises some interesting questions about positioning and (2) is the most clutch use of this spell I’ve seen in a while. It’s a spell I always wanna take as a Paladin because it makes sense character-wise, but I’ve never been able to actually use it because we’re never fighting fiends, fae, or celestial.

Brennan’s dime change change reversal of the critic’s comments on Ricky’s body rolls when Zac re-rolls his 11 makes me glad I never had to face him in a debate team setting.

Ally: What’s Esther’s deal ;)/Brennan: *Esther’s Weapon Stats*

“Your only secret you’ve ever had in your life is that you have a crush on her.”

Wally has a beautiful singing voice and a working knowledge of Midsummer's which is wild.

Lou’s periodic, “My man”’s when Ally/Pete does something cool. He’s very dialed into being Kingston.

Ricky’s aura keeps everyone near him from being charmed and Misty saves everyone else w/ a nat 20 counterspell. Few things in D&D are more satisfying than a well executed counterspell.

Titania trying to get Pete to be her consort or something when he just over the super posh Priya is very funny.

“I mean between me and Sondheim, get Sondheim!”

“DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK TONIGHT?” (“We did have homework.”)

Anyway, Misty has one success now!

Misty tries to use puppet to get Titania to drop her crown and it doesn’t work. Brennan says the crown is Crown of Stars which I looked up and it’s actually a spell, not a physical crown, but I’m assuming he used the mechanical effects of the spell on a physical item.

Brennan doing all these musical/singing bits when he absolutely doesn’t have to. I love it.

I love Ricky and Sophie being the two martial fighting heavy hitters of the group. Like, the two fighters, having the spellcasters’ backs.

I hope the one kung fu fan in the back of the theater never sees another Broadway show again because he’s gonna be so disappointed. 

“I’m just so inspired by that beautiful penis.”

Murph, out of character, verbally acknowledging how insane what they’re doing is. I love when someone pauses in a game of D&D to just recite what’s currently happening out of context so everyone can appreciate how crazy it is. D&D. Gotta love it..

Emily and Siobhan have a quick conversation in the background about whether Sondheim did Les Mis or not (not, that’s Claude-Michel Schönberg) while Brennan and Murph are Ring nonsense.

I also was mildly suspicious of Alyssa so I’m glad Kingston checked her out.

The entire roast of Brennan when he’s selecting D6s is an instantly iconic D20 moment. I can’t do it justice. You kinda just have to see it.

“Someone call Wizards of the Coast!”

Em, Wally, and Alyssa go out when Titania puts out a huge spell that blinds Kug.

“Yummy, yummy, tastes like ass.”

On Misty’s next turn, she rolls a fail which makes it 2 failures to 1 success. Brennan mentions that a nat 1 counts as 2 failures and a nat 20 counts as 2 successes. I’m sure that won’t be relevant later because you can’t foreshadow things when dice rolls are completely random.

Misty fails on puppet again again and Titania goes full Wicked Witch of the West on her and starts Jonesing for those shoessss.

Emily’s Emily(tm) move of the session is doing a flying leap at Titania, hitting her with a stunning strike and having Brennan retract the Box off Doom he was pulling out because she can’t save when she’s stunned. She just plummets out of the sky.

Don Confetti respecting the sacrament of marriage as he goes full Opera ghost and tries to garrote Sophie.

Ricky (still naked) grabs the crown from Titania, tosses it to Misty, and, with some improv and a good charisma roll, makes the show suddenly make sense to the very confused but entertained audience.

I’m so glad that Murph decided to turn into a bear and that they made the Winter’s tale ref. I should have had faith in Brennan and Siobhan, the theater nerds. Exit pursued by a bear y’all.

Lou and Emily bonding over being proud of their die for rolling well when they lend it out for a big roll.

Really wish Pete had wild magic surged in this fight. Just to add that extra bit of chaos. 

With a very good turn (no damage taken, no performances failed) Misty only has to avoid snake eyes to get through this turn. She leapfrogs over that low bar and rolls a nat 20, instantly fulfilling her win condition. At this point, the play is superfluous and Titania is still down.

“Brennan lost and now he knows reddit is gonna eat his ass.”

OK, remember how I said earlier that Misty seems like the kind of character you nudge a little temptation at just to spice things up? Yeah, her killing Titania and getting the crown of the Seelie Fae makes me a liiiitle apprehensive, but we’ll see how that turns out.

“I killed my queen! This is America we don’t have royalty here.”

“Bear, I don’t know who you are, but take me on your back, let me ride on stage.” —creator of West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim

Misty charms the critic at the show to make sure they get a good review which is such a fae thing to do.

Kingston’s clearly not loving attacking Don and Co. post “real fight” what with his whole Do No Harm thing (well, that’s Dr’s but same principle applies I assume) is a good character detail. For that matter, so is Ricky just taking Titania’s crown and not beheading her which he super could have done while she was down but it would have been very incongruous with everything else about him.

Brian “This isn’t Loony Tunes” Murphy throws Sondheim as a projectile weapon at a pixie who snaps the pixie’s neck and then does a monologue at the audience.

I love it when someone rolls low on an insight check and Brennan gives them useless info and then they repeat it in their character’s voice.

4 mins from the end of the ep, Siobhan realizes there are two Perrys in this story for the first time and has a bigger reaction to that than almost everything else in this ep except her nat 20.

Ricky looks for costume faun legs to cover his fully out dick instead of costume pants or even his own pants.

Misty starts glowing with reincarnation energy and she runs into her dressing room for privacy. Also, she still super hasn’t told anyone what’s going on. (ALSO, assuming she’s gonna make the world think she died, it’s gonna be wild for the company of the show to have their leading lady put on the performance of her life and then die on opening night).

“Who am I to refuse a crown when it’s placed so deftly upon my head?”

You know that behind the scenes thing where Brennan is like, “Yeah, I knew Siobhan was gonna steal that book,”? I got some of those vibes during the crown scene.

The implications of what Misty did are gonna be left until next ep but Brennan says something about her creating her own court and it looks like she’s recruiting followers in the promo. IDK how I feel about that (these stories tend to have great power--especially tied to powerful magical items--as a corrupting force) but I am very excited to see how it goes down! See you then!

#the unsleeping city #dimension 20 #asks #galfast

[daesofthepen]

So I really like KHR fics that make Namimori into a tightknit community of retired assassins, mafioso, etc. I would like to write a fic like that at some point.

Current ideas I’ve picked up from a variety of fic:

The idea that flames can be infused into items (I.E. rain flames into someone’s tea to calm them down or knock them out)

Like mentioned above, that Namimori is full of retired trained professionals. Added to this: You have to be Really Good in these professions to make it to retirement, so they’re all Pros in their fields.

Skies being able to harmonize with each other. I like the idea of each Sky being a “solar system” in a larger galaxy. Or at least, Skies harmonizing means everyone in both Sets gets a boost. They get even more boost if there are more than two Sky sets harmonized.

Kawahira and the Arcobaleno Curse isn’t the final boss antagonist of the fic. It could be aliens that arrive on Earth a la sci-fi movie, I just want it to have a different endgame fight. Not to mention, it would be cool if all that harmonizing-among-Skies power boosts had a proper antagonist to go against. Mafia-Earth vs Some-Aliens ftw! (Could also be, like, deep ocean species or underground species, but then I could feel bad cuz they already lived on Earth too...)

The girls of KHR getting more screentime. I’m tempted to have one of them be the protagonist of the fic tbh. I know some people do fem!Tsuna when they want a female protagonist, but there are perfectly canon female characters that already exist and don’t get enough screentime in both canon and fanfiction? I like Tsuna well enough, but I kinda want to write about someone else.

I like Haru, so it’ll probably be her. Plus some noncanon Sky Flames bc I want to experiment some with that.

Okay but like, consider a Sky in Namimori. They are young and civilian-raised, so they don’t realize they’re putting their Flames into the objects and locations they visit often. This means that when they visit the park, the playground emits Sky Flames for hours afterward. If they lay in the grass for long enough, the grass remains stained in Sky Flames for days. You could even go as far to say that their bathwater has Sky Flames, so it’s even in the plumbing of Namimori. Namimori becomes a town full of remnants of Sky Flames. The “harmony” element works to calm residents, similar to Rain Flames but less effective since it’s not what they’re for, and also increase their patriotism(?) for the town.

Consider: With Tsuna’s Sky Flames sealed, another Sky unknowingly gets claim for the town of Namimori without any other Sky contesting it. This is Namimori’s Sky. 

Tsuna unlocks his Flames later on in life and -- even though he has stronger Sky Flames -- he doesn’t challenge for the claim. Tsuna’s personality always felt like someone who would enjoy following someone else’s lead more than leading himself. I can see him bowing to someone else’s leadership if that person wasn’t a murderous psycho out to kill him and his friends. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all.

Some thoughts on Flames and the quantity a person has: If a person has a parent who had active Rain Flames, that not only increases their chances of Rain Flames, but they would grow up to have more Rain Flames than some random schmuck without Flame active parents who just happened to unlock Rain Flames. And two parents with active Rain Flames would almost guarantee Rain Flames in their offspring AND their kids would have more of it. Yes, I’m taking the Naruto-chakra route.

So Haru, born of two civilian parents, would have less Sky Flames than Tsuna. To reverse on that whole only-follow-the-strong-and-”pure.” Sometimes the best guy for the job isn’t the strongest.

It’s also been forever since I’ve read KHR so I’m going by the wiki, which says Haru did gymnastics and went to the private all-girls school in Namimori. Probably will include some original characters to fill in as teachers and students to flesh out the town more. And -- of course -- the girls’ parents will all have backgrounds in all kinds of illegal activities.

Imagine: Haru goes to compete with another school from another town and most of the town shows up bc hell yeah that’s our Sky. 

If I want the KHR girls to have more screentime, I might have them go to Haru’s school, too, or have non-school-specific clubs which they all join. It could be like a book club. Or a let’s-make-the-pervert-disappear Statistics club. The retired mafioso and assassin adults of Namimori would find it adorable and sometimes help by hinting at the best way to go about a plan.

On one hand, it makes sense that the seal on Tsuna’s Flames is done very well and doesn’t leak. On the other hand, Tsuna attracting Haru’s attention? Not that Haru would realize what is grabbing her attention for a long while. She might assume it’s a crush lmao just like canon.

They also meet earlier so Haru gets her crush sooner, so she can get over her crush earlier, too. :3

You know what let’s go full indulgent on this fic and also include Verde. 

Let’s say that while most of the time Haru’s father is absent, maybe he works as a mathematician for a big tech company alongside engineers, he sometimes gets to go on work trips to Expos and conferences to help promote the company. After Haru’s mother died, Mr. Miura became determined to financially provide for their daughter, so she could go to whatever school she wanted and into whatever field she would choose to devote herself to.

Mr. Miura gets permission to take Haru to a conference, so she can look around, meet people, check out if any job descriptions interest her, etc. That’s where she meets Verde, who’s there pitching some of his inventions. 

They talk, find common ground in their passions, and maybe -- completely by accident -- they harmonize. 

I like to imagine Verde as a very straight-to-the-point kind of person, so through him Haru eventually starts learning about Flames and (to a lesser extent) the mafia. 

Verde has many labs and hideyholes around the world, but he moves his main lab to Namimori. And because he’s a professional inventor, technician, etc., he isn’t just lurking. Verde gets contract work by the town of Namimori and maybe some other richer families around Namimori. It probably doesn’t pay as well as he deserves, but he also gets a direct say in the safety of his Sky, so. Also, he probably is hired online/overseas constantly. He’s, like, a working professional you guys.

But anyway, Namimori goes through a (not so) minor technological revolution. Hospitals get upgraded, there are now cameras with face-recognizing technology which keep track of everyone who goes in and out of Namimori. Official underground bunkers, We start getting sci-fi up in here.

Close to when Verde first arrives, he notices that Namimori is protected by Mist Flames, a barrier that just makes people notice Namimori less unless they were directly heading there. With some Flame sensors, Verde manages to track down the source/core of the system to Kawahira’s shop.

Verde figures out pretty quick who Kawahira is and, as an Arcobaleno, he HATES Kawahira. But Verde doesn’t try to kick him out of town because that Mist barrier? Super useful for protecting the town.

Through the combined efforts of Haru and the gang, Verde, and Namimori citizens, Kawahira and Verde agree to work together to try to come up with an alternative solution for the Arcobaleno curse. 

Both of them have YEARS of notes, so it’s easier to figure out what they would need:  Flame-based perpetual motion machine. The problem would be making a machine that works not just in theory. Gotta make sure that while the Flames cycle continuously through the machine, non is being lost because of subpar conductive metals, and the entire thing would need a material that is really good at keeping Flames IN the machine instead of being lost over time because a large surface area increases heat lost, etc etc. 

Adding some money problems for realism. Not including Verde and Kawahira, who have a personal investment in this project, they would need to hire an entire team of engineers, mathematicians, maybe some electricians, and at least one accountant to keep track of spending. Most of which need to know about Flames already to not break omerta. And then on top of that, a lot of their prototypes will be experimenting with different materials for Flame conductivity, etc. This stuff gets expensive over time, even if they have a lot of money saved up.

But anyway, eventually they get a working prototype. It just happens to be absolutely minuscule compared to the size it will have to be in real life to support the entire PLANET. So Verde presents the prototype to Viper to ask for funding --because this small prototype would show that it IS possible-- and afterward, they have no more money problems. Plus, all the other Arcobaleno find out through the grapevine and all are more than happy to pitch in in any way they can.

So the project has the opportunity for smooth sailing. 

And then the aliens arrive.

#katekyou hitman reborn #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #Fanfic ideas #this got long and it's barely at the aliens #i actually looked up perpetual motion machines #no one has made one that actually works in RL in case u're curious as to how hard it would be to make one #speaks #Sky Haru fic

[pennyfynotes]

8.17.17 // 4:00pm // guide to freshman year of college

so... you've finally finished high school and you feel like you're on top of the world. then you realize you're going to college, where you'll be a super small fish in a very large pond. which is totally ok. here are some tips to make your transition to college easier. good luck! xoxo, m

ps. i also have a post about making friends here. 

1. contact+coordinate with your roommate. your roommate will likely be one of the first people you meet at college and your are going to have to live with them for at least a year (unless something goes terribly wrong). take the time to reach out to them and figure out a little bit about them. from a more practical standpoint, you might want to find out what time they're planning on moving in and also figure out how you're going to split the cost+share the larger items. 

>>>when are they moving in? there are a couple ways to approach this. you can try and move in at the same time so you can have equal input as to how to organize the room and who gets which bed/desk etc. you can also move in at different times to minimize the amount of people and mess in the room at once. if one of you really doesn't care about their bed being next to the window or stuff like that, this might be a good option. if you've gotten really close with your roommate after talking to them, maybe have them call you and take a picture so you can hash it out. that is if they get there first. you could also reverse the roles.

>>>who's bringing what? there are items that you both don't need to purchase. these might include: a full length mirror, microwave, fridge, coffeemaker/electric kettle and other things of that nature. try to figure out how to evenly split this. if one person gets the fridge (probably ~$100), then maybe the other person can get a couple of the smaller, cheaper items. there is also the option to just "split the bill" but (my mom brought up an excellent point last year) then there is the hassle of determining ownership at the year's end, especially if you don't plan to continue rooming together.

2. read as much as you can about move-in day. it's always going to be chaotic, that's a given. however, try to figure out where you need to go and how you're going to get there. and don't just look at a map and say "so my dorm is here, we can just unload in this random parking lot". chances are the university will have a system set up and it's a pain if you try to go to the wrong place. be as knowledgeable as you can to minimize frustration and chaos. if there isn't a lot of information available, pay super close attention to any signs around campus. now is not the time to be watching netflix on your phone.

3. get the important stuff done first. unpack your stuff, get your ID and all that jazz. it's important to be friendly and get to know people, but don't get too sidetracked and wind up with no way to get into your building because you didn't get your student ID. a way to combine making friends and getting things done is to go as a group to get important papers.

4. savor time with your family. if you're lucky enough that your family has come with you, don't blow them off. say proper goodbyes and the like bc you probably won't see them for a while (unless you like super close to your college).

5. get to know your roommate in person (+ maybe set some ground rules). your roommate doesn't have to be your best friend. but at least try to get to know them, they are putting up with you for 2 semesters after all. if there are things you know that will annoy you, try to address them and put down some rules. you might have to make so accommodations, but they will probably have to too. the way i see it, rooming together isn't about friendship (though it can be), it's about peaceful coexistence. 

6. figure out how things work. common things that are a little tricky are: where are things/facilities/buildings, how does the bus system work + how does the meal plan work. you will likely have some sort of upperclassman advisor/counselor person, so get these questions answered before class starts. you don't want to realize you went to the wrong building or are on the wrong bus 5 minutes before class begins. it's not a big deal (profs are pretty understanding), but don't give extra stress the opportunity to arise.

7. get your textbooks. this is so important. some teachers will start using the textbooks right away and it's always easier if you've gotten them in advance. however, be smart about getting textbooks bc those things are damn expensive.

>>> rent from amazon. this is so amazing. a lot of the time you'll be able to save a fair amount of money by renting rather than buying. there's always the option to buy at the end of the rental period. if you find out you don't need the book you can return within the first 30 days with a prepaid shipping label for a full refund.

>>> buy older editions. chances are, you'll be able to get away with using the older edition of a textbook. some profs might be really picky or assign hw out of them without providing an edition conversion chart (tho you may be able to find one online), but you can probably do it. exhibit a: there was no option to rent y orgo textbook and the newest (recommended) edition was $100. i got the second most recent edition for about $6. 

>>> google for pdf versions. sometimes you get super lucky and find pdfs of textbooks online for free. some people prefer paper copies of books, but saving the money and the weight in my bag is good enough for me

8. find a study buddy. admittedly i did not do this, though it probably would have been helpful. find a friend or buddy in each class you take that can give you notes if you're sick or that you can study with/ask questions to. you will also be able to suffer together. there is strength in numbers. 

9. join clubs/extracurriculars. you might become really good friend with your hallmates or you might not. sometimes it's easier to find friends in clubs because you have similar interests. they're also a great way to meet upperclassmen and make those connections. upperclassmen are always helpful.

10. reinvent yourself. not saying you have to give yourself a total makeover, but if there are things that defined you in hs that you don't identify with anymore, you can change that. it's hard to change yourself and other people's assumptions of you when you've known them since 1st grade. you have a clean slate now. if there's something you want to leave behind, go for it. 

11. don't lose yourself. this may seem rather contradictory to the previous statement, but don't give up everything you are. college can sometimes be overwhelming and you'll find yourself letting go of things you love like certain hobbies or interests. if you still love it, dont let it go. make time for it. you might not be able to keep up with it to the same extent you did in hs (which makes me sad and is quite unfortunate), but don't let it die. 

>>> same goes for personality/values. it's so tempting to change yourself to fit in. remember you don't have to

12. if you need to go to class, go. as i mentioned earlier, i'm not as much of a proponent you should never skip class mantra. if the lecturer is good and you get good information from lecture, then you should go. if the lecturer is terrible and you have other better resources to get your information from, you might be okay just not going. 

13. try not to fall behind. it will take you forever to catch up. sometimes you have to sacrifice being prepared for one class to study for another, but try to avoid this as much as possible. once you do that, it takes forever to get back up to speed in that other class. chances are, once you hit your first midterm in your first class, they're never going to end. you might be used to having 3 weeks in between tests, but oftentimes in college they're spaced in such a way that you don't get much of a break. like i said, falling behind is a nightmare. 

14. take care of your mental health. your health is still the most important. you won't perform well if your mental health has gone out the window, so do make time for that. more on that here and here. 

best of luck as you enter college and (as i always say) i'm always here if you have more questions or need more advice :) xoxo, m

#pennyfynotes #back to school #tips #advice #organization #student #studyblr #college #university #productive #jiyeonstu #jiyeonstudies #hufflepuffwannabe #rhubarbstudies #heyjul #noodledesk #eminotes #artemistudying #athenastudying #focusign #prostudy #universi-tea

[nerdymedzebra]

Round up of my mentions of MCAS reactions

“ Escape to the mountains for breathable air! I know grass makes my throat swell up and my chest get tight, but but I've not known what my other triggers are. Til recently. I downloaded the weather Channel app on my phone and now it alerts me during Ozone Action/Warning Days, and woops, they match up with my swelling, too. So this weekend I saw that the grass pollen was high AND it was an ozone action day, and tho I hate using the car on such days, my house apparently doesn't protect me from bad air (and I sure as heck can't afford an air purifier) so I just needed to escape. Picture 2 is just outside of Boulder, where I live, and my throat was already swelling up before we made it out of the area. But by the time we got into the mountains, it was calming down again.thank goodness! And TG for accessible overlooks, like in Pics 1 & 3! No hiking required to see prettiness. :) “

“ Whoa there, face. You look like you've been outside in the cold for an hour.. But I haven't left my couch all day! It's hard to get with this annoying portrait filter I can't turn off, but you can see the diff between my face and neck. I usually look much more pallid and anemic! ) I always say I have very little skin involvement with#MCAS (and I've only had hives once in my life) but I wonder how much of that is true and how much is just me not putting two and two together before. Like, my face has felt hot all day, I used to call this "fevering", but I've recently realized it's only my face that's hot and red, so it's prolly MCAS flushing, not a fever at all. Which is interesting that before I had an app for it, the only way I knew I was about to start my period is that I'd get one of these "fevers" for an hour or two the night before! I must be reactive to one of my own gd hormones. 😅😅😅 Yup, sounds like an MCAS thing! As I'm on my period now, (tho I don't think I usually am flushed at this poiny/for this long) and my stomach still feels full of good from yesterday, and who knows what else, but maybe I'm just reacting to a bunch of stuff. My face is redder irl, and I startled myself a few minutes ago when I went to the bathroom and saw my face. I've NEVER seen it this red while just sitting around the house! “

“ Oops I ate an often-trigger food without tacking my Cromolyn first. :( I feel like I have a fever and my belly is angeryyyy. Sighhh. “

MCAS & Cromolyn

(Jan 2019)

#MCAS: where normal food can make you shiver violently while your face blazes and your stomach thinks it's been poisoned.

Woops forgot to take my Cromolyn Sodium before eating. ☹️😷😱☠️

Also, this is what it looks like. Supposed to take 2 viles 4x a day, but I have yet to remember all 4 even once. :-x

Edit 1 hour later: my stomach and face have calmed down, but now my heart rate Is in the 130s as I'm laying here, and I feel like if I open my mouth I'll be like a megaphone and the sound of my speeding, thumping heart would loudly reverberate through the house.. It honest to God feels like my heart has grown wings and is violently trying to escape my chest.

“ Ok you can't really tell here, but my face is rosy. I'm wondering if these random few-hour "fevers" I've always gotten are really jus t flushing? Does your face feel warm and tight and similar to when your fevering when you're flushing from #MCAS? Or Allergies? We are house sitting a doggo, but I'm allergic, and I'm feeling it way more than I have before when we've watched him! Waaah. "I need vogmask, but for my eyes!" Me, earlier. “

“ Wait, what?! I react to freshly cut grass exactly the same in all months. Could it really be from different things?! Although maybe I do react differently. I feel wayyy itchier lately and maybe less swollen sinus cavity & throat, but I've only recent started noticing how itchy I get when I'm walking outside, particularly if I'm sweating even minutely, which could mean it's started up recently, or not. Adhd makes it so hard to keep track of symptoms :( :/ Fwiw, I think the same allergy test that told me I was allergic to grass said mold as well... 🤔 This post brought to you by my overwhelming need to scratch all my skin off. (Also my skin doesn't seem to really turn red til I scratch it, then it gets v angry btw). #allergy #GrassAllergy “

“ Ugh, motility issues are more than just delayed!! My psych had me request a emptying study from my GI to check for RAPID emptying (bc my meds don't work if I eat with them and she needs the results for dose adjustments) but this report is clearly looking only for delayed. Now, I sometimes do experience delayed for a few days a month, but I don't mind it much, it's the rapid that screws with my meds and makes it risky to eat at a restaurant without hanging around a half hour afterwards in case I have to run to the bathroom (in those cases my dysautonomia (and pain) also flares while my stomach is emptying, then I seem to get hit with reactive hypoglycemia or whatever it's called. Ugh.) Nausea is only a small symptom a few times a month, max, yet it is THE symptom on this test. Annoying. As I said day-of, my stomach was behaving that day, so I'm not surprised it was normal, but from the penciled in average emptying time I found, it does suggest that even when it's not acting up, it is a bit faster than normal. “

“Post treadmill stress test dinner. Vegan Pad Thai. It's been almost two hours and my muscles are still goop and I'm still extra shakey. My body did not approve. I'm surprised I made it a whole 5 minutes tho, tbh. “

“ Reverse progression of my chest today. I just now took the first picture. I removed the electrodes 6 hours ago, and boy, my body still wants it to be known that, I guess the gel that was over the round electrode itself, And to a lesser extent, the sticky stuff, was v annoying. When I first took the Holter monitor off, it was really only red on the circle bits, and where I'd been scratching (see pic 3). But then once they were off, I scratched a bunch because OMG, and that left me super red itself (pic 2) now where the sticky bits were seem red too. Is this normal, or allergies or mast cell (I've never been tested for it, but I think I should be) or what. 6 hours seems a long time to still be so red! “

Gastro follow up: Endoscopy, MCAS talk!

(Apr 2018)

During the appointment I told her that I had less rapid gastric emptying than I had been before, but more constipation and fullness-- but especially BLOATING.

I don't think I fully realized how frequently I have the sensation of bloating or stomach discomfort, because, I have noticed, when I experience it, I instinctively... eat... MORE. Especially crappy foods that frequently cause the rapid gastric emptying symptoms. That makes sense, but it's interesting to realize since I was doing it pretty unconsciously! But it hasn't been super helpful lately AND I've gained 10lbs in the last month alone! (after having gained 30+lbs in the ~8 months prior!)

And finally, I told her that I had been reading up on Mast Cell Activation Syndrome/Disease lately and it's fairly likely that I have it, and it seems to have a huge effect on the GI system. Surprisingly, her eyes widened a bit and she said that, in fact, she had just been to a conference this weekend, and they talked about Mast Cells as a cause of Functional GI Disorders! So, she said she will read up more on MCAS & EDS/HSD and how they influence the GI system.