#also saying 'it's right because that's just how things are in this world' is missing the point entirely

[etaleah]

Seems like there are some headcanons about Shadow being tortured or otherwise mistreated/abused by Gerald and the other scientists, so naturally there’s folks saying, “There’s no evidence for it! That never happened!”

But here’s the thing: there’s more than one kind of torture. And I would argue there’s more evidence than you’d think.

When we think about torture, our brains tend to default to the most extreme examples, like water boarding and cracking a whip, but those aren’t the only ways to torture somebody. It’s worth remembering that Gerald literally implanted false memories into Shadow’s brain. He made it so that Shadow could not trust his own memory. His own head was lying to him. He thought an altered memory of Maria was real. How is screwing with someone’s memory and mind like that not a form of torture?

It’s also worth remembering that Gerald Robotnik and presumably his research team were VERY willing to cross or at least bend ethical lines to get what they wanted. They were willing to make a literal deal with the devil, potentially sacrificing all of humanity in the process. They did the same thing that the parents in My Sister’s Keeper did, create a living being with the intention of saving another living being, without any thought to how the created living being would feel about that. Gerald refers to Shadow as “It” in his diary in SA2, revealing that he did not see him as a person. And this is without even getting into the fact that Gerald was crazy enough to blow up the whole world because of what a few military folks did. A plan that would have gotten Shadow killed too and almost did, not that he cared.

You’re telling me that guy wouldn’t have been willing to medically abuse Shadow and insist it was justified because Maria?

To me, the most interesting what-ifs about Shadow being mistreated on the Ark are situations where he doesn’t know he’s being mistreated, because he trusts the people around him to have his best interests at heart, since at this point he has very limited life experience and doesn’t think he has any reason not to.

Do I think Gerald or the scientists ever took off their belts and beat him? No. There wouldn’t have been any reason for that and Shadow wouldn’t have allowed it. But do I think they could have crossed a few more ethical lines during their tests and research on Shadow? Absolutely.

I could see them getting Shadow’s consent to do a blood test and then taking a little more blood than they actually needed to see what else they could do with it, not caring that it would weaken him or make him dizzy. I could see them telling Shadow that a procedure is for Maria’s cure when it’s actually for weapons development, or telling him something won’t hurt when it will, and then acting like they didn’t know. I could see them knowingly pushing Shadow past his limits during the testing/training and then insisting he just wasn’t trying hard enough. I could see them not offering him pain relievers even though he’s in pain because how else will they get an accurate measurement of the ultimate life form’s endurance and healing capabilities? And hey, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? They don’t have to tell him that pain relievers are an option.

You’d be surprised at how well abusive family members can hide their abuse. Sometimes they hide it so well that not even the victim knows they’re doing it.

And honestly? I think there’s a reason that, out of all the people who would have been on the Ark, Maria is the only person Shadow misses. I think there is definitely a reason he never mentions missing anyone else.

#shadow the hedgehog #sth #project shadow #space colony ark #shadow and maria #ark siblings #sonic the hedgehog #gerald robotnik #maria robotnik #sonic games #sa2b #sa2 #my thoughts

[jamiethebee]

(In which I spiral down a rabbit hole with Midoriya that has little to do with @codenamesazanka 's original post that started this (x).  FYI I sorta separated Deku/Izuku to indicate Deku as the hero and Izuku as the person outside of heroics.)

I started thinking about this post again (see the link above) and how Deku doesn’t really understand that non-perfect or sanitized victims exist AND still need to be saved and not by destruction. (The "maybe killing someone does save them" thing is a great way to assuage guilt but it's a stupid copout.)  Deku (hero) and more importantly Izuku (person) doesn’t really understand that though because he WAS a “perfect” victim.  Midoriya stayed quiet and inconspicuous and didn’t make a fuss about the bullying or discrimination he faced, he just kept his head down and hoped that something would change without any real effort on his part.  And if he had died as a result from the bullying he would’ve been hailed as an unfortunate victim (of who? or what? Don’t worry - isn’t his death so tragic? oh well now on to our next news story -), so any critique of society and the individuals who reinforce the status quo don’t actually have to do anything.  I know there’s more nuance here and lot of cultural things happening with this all but I’m not gonna dig into that right now.

Moving on!  Quite frankly the boy didn’t live long enough to get out of his childish mindset and get some “righteous" anger at the wrongdoings and failings of society.  All Might came along when he was still starry eyed and hopeful to lift Midoriya out of the trajectory of his life and Izuku never had any time to get to the point where he comes to terms with the hurt caused society’s rejection of his self and get angry about it.  As such, he can’t understand the league.  It probably doesn’t even occur to him that he's missing that understanding because for him it worked out - he got the attention and support to be able to escape the circumstances of his birth/quirklessness and to leave the box (deku) that society shoved him in. Twice and Toga never had that support – they both lived how they needed to in order to survive in a world not meant for them until they broke down.  (Maybe that's why Vigilante Deku AUs were so popular back in the day - they speedran Midoriya past the hopeful kid stage and to a point where a lot of the fanbase was in their own lives - seeing the issues in the world and wanting to affect change.)

Izuku, for all that he claims to want to connect to the villains, hasn’t given enough thought or empathy to understand how continuing to live a life where you don’t fit in with society can be deeply hurtful as well as the emotional repercussions of having unchangeable parts about yourself be reviled.  This isn’t to say Izuku had it easy -  of course Izuku went through hardships but.... there’s a big difference between living through stuff as a kid and finding a way out of it vs living through that, growing up, maturing, and in turn looking critically at society.  But I can’t bring myself to fault Midoriya for those exact reasons because he's just a kid. He doesn’t have the perspective to see outside of himself – at least not for the villains.  Because that seems to be too far of a stretch for him?  But Todoroki was close enough to Izuku’s mindset for him to help back in the sports festival arc.  I also acknowledge that he's a teenager and IS capable of critical thinking, but from what we've seen, his schools have never actually made the students examine the world they live in - which is a different skill from quirk analysis or historical or literary analysis or the various writing exercises that students go through. 

(Believe me – you can have the brightest kid but, most of the time, unless you point out the shortcomings of their mindsets, it won’t occur to them to look further.  (Not necessarily assuming that they’re wrong, but rather that their consideration of life is not as expansive as it should be. Especially for a kid wanting to be the greatest hero and save everyone.)  For example: many abled bodied people don’t realize how inaccessible places can be until someone brings it up to them or they find themselves in that situation (like a temporary crutch or wheelchair).  It’s through no fault of the able bodied person that they weren’t aware enough to consider it in the first place, but what they do once they realize physical accessibility is an issue, is on them.)  Back to the point – hero society never calls attention to it’s own shortcomings despite the proof quite obviously existing and the people within society don’t seem to spare much thought either. The adults who have seen more of these instances are then of course more culpable in this than the kids who haven't.

So, Midoriya was also failed by society (cough all might cough) as well, but he chose the hero path - to save people. We see him starting to consider the deeper issues in his talk with Uraraka, and the few times he “tries” to talk to various villains shows that he is aware enough of underlying issues - which makes it his duty as a hero to do something about it.  In that way, he is at fault. He chose a profession to devote his life to that should require this of him.  And through his hero work, Midoriya has seen the problems in society and yet he’s chosen to turn away from them (and by problems/them I’m referring to the villains “too far gone to save” and the issues they represent). 

(Sorry Midoriya, but considering we’re nearing the end and you haven’t shown any growth in this area….. I am faulting you for metaphorically pushing your head in the sand.  I do want to be wrong though.  I really want the kid to prove me wrong.)

And he’s able to turn away from them guilt free, in part, because he’s gotten the proverbial thumbs up by his classmates that it’s ok and that they’ll just be better and be model minority heroes and that will fix the problem! Because they’re positive representation!  Or something?  If you can put your mind to it that will fix things! Just try harder! Again, very idealistic but they are kids, so it comes with the territory.  (Horikoshi didn’t have to make them unquestionably right in that approach though.  Toga and Uraraka coming together for the win! The Shoji and Spinner match up not so much.)

Overall, there’s something about how Deku still fit into society's boxes in an acceptable way and never truly faced what existing outside of "acceptability" was like.  Don’t get me wrong it’s tough to live in the mha world as a quirkless person and of course it has its problems and restrictions, but that’s still a box that society provides for, even if the society in question doesn’t like it. 

And I'm not saying that Izuku had to live through a terrible life to understand the villains!  Just that, he has the capacity to look outside himself and be empathetic, but the application of it is lacking, despite knowing there’s problems, despite having LIVED with some of those problems. Extrapolate, boy!!!! You don't need empathy to reach out to others but the whole compassionate/kind Midoriya thing has been touted since the beginning! So I want to see it!

(Not sure how much sense this will make to people, but there’s a maturity that comes about with either time or certain circumstances that can be hard to grasp unless you’ve lived through it.  And quite frankly, Midoriya hasn’t. He went from a perfect/acceptable victim to the top tier of society (heroes).)

(Basically: Midoriya never **matured in the restrictive environment he grew up in and can't emotionally connect with the league who did, because of that. Instead he seems to have internalized the "if they were better" or "if they were truly good" then there wouldn't be a problem because just look at his classmater!, so villains being villains is their own fault and no one else is culpable.)

**centers on the idea that someone starts off as hopeful in regards to their discriminated position in life and over time matures to understand how society supports that discrimination and come to terms with the hurt that it's caused them personally (and in this case to fight back against it)

also, if you made it this far, i'm just having a fun time reading codenamesazanka's posts about the latest chapters

#my hero academia #bnha #the bee talks #i promise i have nothing against midoriya! but there's a lot of build up with him that's gone nowhere currently.... #having thoughts! having so many thoughts! #honestly i just feel bad for horikoshi. from what i gather he didn't want mha to drag on this long or it took a different direction #and he's been working on it for so many years. i don't fault him! it's his story! but i can still have a fun time analyzing it #ok i've stared at this for too long. i'm posting it and heading out #mmm is midoriya letting his own life experiences cloud his judgement of the villains? perhaps! #i would love to sit those kids down and make them learn how to reflect (in the academic sense)

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

Maybe Part VI #7:

"Let's find out how much you want it."

"Let's find out how much you want it." additional tags: playful dom ian, grumpy sub mickey, petnames, foodplay, stripping

Despite their air conditioner crapping out on them at the hottest time of day, Ian is positively buzzing with childish energy. Because of it, maybe. Perhaps the return of sunny, sweaty afternoons is bringing out the silly billy in him, just like old times.

Mickey doesn't have that problem.

Where Mickey has also known a stifling summer childhood, he differs in the way that he's grown very comfortable with their air conditioner now that they've got it. Which means when it's broken, he's got something to say about it. Loudly. He's bitchy and grumbly and Ian wants to mess with him so fucking bad.

So when the impulse flairs to strike, Ian goes for it, sneaking up behind his husband and snatching the popsicle he just took from the freezer right out of his hot little hands.

"The fuck-" Mickey's turning on his heels in a heartbeat, swiping at the air where Ian holds it just out of reach. "Get your own!"

"Both know this is the last one."

"Yeah, and I fuckin' had it, so paws off!" He goes for another attempt, one hand bracing himself against Ian's sweat-damp chest, the other swatting way up over both their heads.

But Ian's got the height advantage - has too many things working for him, the popsicle wrapper crinkling as he holds it out of reach. "How bad do you want it?" he asks, the playful curl of his grin betraying him immediately.

Mickey doesn't have that problem. "It's too hot for this shit, man."

"It's not that hot."

"It's a hundred fuckin' degrees in here."

"Thermostat says 84 - I just checked." Another attempt. Ian slips the prize out of reach just in time. "And since when do you care about a warm house?"

"Since you got my ass trained like a fuckin' air conditioned poodle, bitch. That's when."

Ian's eyebrows lift as he stares down at him. He's willing to spend some extra time on that imagery, he thinks.

Maybe a little later, though. There's a couple things he wants to take care of first - like his sweaty, shirtless husband getting all handsy and rubbin' up on him like this.

With a new dash of spice to his playfulness, Ian takes a step back, interested in how Mickey stays put.

Another, then, until he's leaned back against the counter.

"Want it bad, huh..." he teases, enjoying how Mickey's eyes track the popsicle as he lowers it back to a reasonable height. "Let's find out how bad."

In front of him, Mickey has been given space to calm down. To simmer, simply, his hand coming up to rub over his eyes. "Man, I fuckin' told you I'll share the fan after I-"

"Oh," Ian interrupts, his slump backwards casual but decided. "I'm not talkin' about the fan, baby."

It's the tone shift of the century. Playful heat to rival the climbing thermostat. And no, his husband does not miss it.

Mickey lets out a great big sigh, but if he thinks he's hidden away the morbid curiosity lurking in it, he's dead wrong. "Whaddaya want." Simple. Cut and dry.

The corner of Ian's mouth quirks in absolute delight. "Take your shorts off."

The moment that stretches between them is dead silent - not even the hum of the air conditioner to fill it.

Then. "You fuckin' with me right now?"

"You want the popsicle?" Ian counters. And when Mickey makes a dramatic hand gesture that equates to a bitchy obviously, all he does is shrug, his brows bouncing in a clear then you know what to do.

It would be surprising, really, how quickly Mickey folds and starts shoving his shorts down. But there's just something in the air today. "Un-fuckin'-believable..."

Ian watches contently from his place against the counter, enjoying the reveal of those thicky, milky thighs. Even when the discarded shorts immediately get tossed at his face.

He snatches them out of the air just in time. Drops them on the counter behind him. Nods down to Mickey's boxers, like it's the easiest thing in the world to say. "Those too."

And oh...that little spark in Mickey's eyes could catch flame and spread in a bunch of different directions right now. Ian can't wait to see which one.

"Better hurry, baby. It's melting."

Soon it'll be a juicy, drippy mess.

And so will the popsicle.

The huff that comes out of Mickey is supposed to be pointed - he just knows it is, because he knows his man. But even with all this room between them, there's nowhere to hide the rush in it - the annoyed horniness - especially as he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and then pushes them down to his knees, revealing what didn't even need to be said.

Ian grins to himself, tilting his head in amusement while he watches Mickey's cock hang heavily between his legs, before standing at attention right along with him.

Gorgeous.

"You happy now?" he asks Ian, standing naked and hard in the middle of their kitchen.

And oh! What an understatement.

Ian brings the end of the wrapper between his fingers but doesn't look away from Mickey - doesn't move a single muscle more than what he needs to pull the popsicle free.

It's definitely melting - sticky red juice dripping down the thawing sides of it.

Damn.

"On your knees."

Mickey blinks. Flicks his eyes from the popsicle back up to Ian and his order. The spark has definitely caught.

And Christ, does he look beautiful as he does it, his skin flushed and sweaty as he gives in one more time and kneels right on the kitchen floor for him.

Ian hums, the urge to play with him finally too much to handle. Not when he looks like this. Not when those eyes stay on him as he approaches, just a step away now, and then says it. "Lemme see that tongue."

Because this isn't about the popsicle anymore, is it? It stopped being about the popsicle a while ago. The evidence of that is right in front of him, the wildfire in Mickey's eyes spreading downward as he blinks up and Ian, and then silently sticks his tongue out flat for him.

Just as he was asked to.

Ian takes a second to appreciate the sight, a nasty thrill jumping through him and between his legs. "Mhm... Definitely want somethin', don'tchya sweetheart?"

And really, he's waiting very patiently. Has done almost a complete attitudinal 180. So Ian is happy to reward him, holding the popsicle upside down by the stick and hovering it over Mickey's open mouth.

Slowly, the melted juice drips down the sides of it. Pools at the tip for a moment. Gathers, sugar and anticipation clinging. And then finally, it drips right onto Mickey's tongue in a sweet, chilly splash.

Mickey stays very still for it, only shifting a bit to save his knees. Ian will get him up off the floor soon. But for now he's having too much fun watching that tongue curl up - flick over the tip of the upside-down popsicle.

Ian's dick jumps in his shorts - the power of suggestion. "That taste good, baby?" It's got to with the way Mickey tilts his head up closer, wrapping his lips around the tip to suck at it without a word.

Yeah. This is definitely not about the popsicle anymore.

Ian grins, slowly twisting it...pushing just a little bit more into Mickey's mouth...pulling it away and loving how he follows after it, his lips cherry-red and probably oh so sweet as they try to stay connected.

He brings the popsicle all the way into himself, holding it right at lap level, dripping and begging for another lick. And yeah, it's 84 degrees in here, but god damn does it feel like it's about a hundred when Mickey knees forward and then wraps his hands around the backs of Ian's thighs - wraps his lips around the popsicle - bobs his head forward with a nasty slurp as he swallows the whole thing down.

"Holy fuck..." Ian smiles, practically giddy. He swears this wasn't what he was aiming for at the start, but he's more than happy to see it through, all the concentrated action getting him good and hard behind where he holds the stick.

Mickey must know what it's doing to him. Must be making these nasty, wet slurping noises as payback, his eyes never looking away from him as he pulls off and licks his tongue flat up the underside of the popsicle.

Jesus Christ, this is so hot. Ian can't help but play along - joins in and runs the juicy red tip all along his chilled tongue. "So fuckin' sloppy..." It's too much. He's too hard. He's way too into this, what started off as just a bit of fun now spiralled into something nasty and playful and- "C'mere," he gives in, pulling the popsicle away and helping Mickey to his feet so he can get in real close - immediately lick over his cherry-sweet lips and right into his mouth.

Micky groans. Melts. Is so pliant in Ian's arms and letting him do fucking anything, his breath hot as Ian sucks on his perfectly chilled tongue.

Ian won't remember setting the popsicle down. But when they come out of the bedroom later, it'll be nothing more than a sticky red puddle on the counter, dangerously close to Mickey's shorts.

[ send me a smutty one-liner ]

#needed a distraction so here we are :) #gallavich #ray writes #smutty one-liners

[idontplaytrack]

Janis shows up drunk at Regina (or reader, depending on what you want ig) and she is just a really dumb drunk, and Regina takes care of her, pretending to be annoyed but finds her to be weirdly endearing and cuddly 🫶😭

It’s You That I’m Missing

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: drinking, angst & fluff, coarse language

They no longer hate each other. But it still gives Regina a shock of her life that Janis shows up at her door, drunk off her ass

Regina was sat before her vanity, doing her nightly skincare routine when she heard a string of obnoxiously loud knocks come from the foyer. She contemplated ignoring it, obviously not expecting anyone to be over at her place, at this hour of the night no less. It was nearly eleven.

The same string of knocks were heard again, followed by a, “Hello?”

Regina’s ears perked up as she sat up straight, squinting. Quickly, she stood up and peeked out the window. What on earth? She hurries downstairs to let the girl in. “Oh. Good, you’re home.” She laughs, evidently drunk.

“What are you doing here, Janis? Why are you alone?”

“I’m always alone.” Janis laughs again, dryly.

Regina squints, telling her to sit down. Janis plops down on the couch. “Where’s Damian?”

“He has the flu.” Janis answered airily, finger wagging around. Regina hesitated, but sat down anyway. “And where the hell did you go?” Regina says but quickly bites the inside of her cheek. “Nowhere. I drank—” Janis inhales sharply, “At home, then I came allll the way here.”

Regina asks, “Why?”

“I…I don’t know, Gina.” Janis sighs, throwing her head back against the headrest.

‘Shit’ Regina thought, ‘That nickname. I haven’t heard that in years.’

“I know we don’t hate each other anymore, but why did you just show up here like that? The girls don’t even do that.”

Janis groans, facepalming, “I don’t know. I don’t know…why I decided to come here. I was bored— then your address was somehow the only one I remembered.”

“What? Come on, you don’t have to lie.”

“Lie, for what?” Janis looks at her right in the eye, “You know what I don’t get? That I can’t seem to forget you calling me that fucking name in middle school for months. You knew it was wrong, and yet you did it. That is so fucked up— being a kid was no reason for you to do it.”

“Janis…I’m sorry.” Regina apologizes. She wasn’t even shocked.

“Yeah, it won’t cut it. It’ll always stick with me and it sucks because I have someone who loves me now and I love her. So damn much, but it still haunts me.”

That, shocked Regina. Regina didn’t know that Janis had been dating someone. You.

“You meant the world to me and you just became my biggest bully overnight.” Janis laughs at the end— a little thing she had when drunk. “But whatever right? Let bygones be bygones? Everybody loves you now, but yet people like me, like my girlfriend have to be so careful about where we go because some people hate people like us. “Janis, you don’t have to forgive me. But if there’s anyway I can make it up to you, please. Tell me.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Janis answered bluntly, “I honestly don’t know why I came here…thinking things could somehow be different. But the truth is? Things will never be the same anymore. They haven’t been since the second you called me that name— along with everybody else.”

Regina was stunned into silence. She also recognised this behaviour of Janis’. How she’d avoid crying by laughing it off. “Me coming here was a mistake. I shouldn’t even be talking to you. I have y/n now.”

“Where is she?”

“That’s all you have to ask me?” Janis bites back a scoff.

“Why isn’t she taking care of you? You’re wandering the streets alone.”

“She couldn’t come over to my house. Her parents were arguing and she couldn’t leave.” Janis blinks profusely, “I should— I should probably go.”

Janis tries to stand up but Regina stops her. “No, stay here for a bit. Until you sober up.”

“Okay.” Janis pouts, snuggling up in a corner of the couch. Regina couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, her heart melting. “Do you feel like you might throw up?”

“What?”

“Are you nauseous?” The blonde asks again.

“Ohh, yeah.” Janis realises.

“Alright, up we go.” Regina focused on getting her back on her feet and to the bathroom down the hall. They sit in silence for awhile. Until Janis threw up a bit. “My God, how much did you have to drink?”

“I…lost count.” Janis says, eyes drooping shut, “After three.” She holds up her three fingers in front of Regina’s face but she could barely hold her own head up.

‘Damn it.’ Regina sighs internally.

“I wanna sleeeeep.” Janis whines.

“Okay.” Regina helps her up and into her own bedroom. “Sleep.”

“In your bed?”

“Well, would you rather be on the floor?” Regina snarked unintentionally, catching herself too late, “What if you feel sick again and need to get up?”

“If you want me to sleep in the bed, I’ll sleep in the bed.” Janis didn’t put up too much of a fight anyway.

“Good.” Regina says flatly, “Just sleep.” Once Janis crawls under the covers, Regina does the same beside her, contemplating putting a bolster between them but Janis kept her distance and faced away already so she just allowed herself to start drifting off.

“Good night, Janis.”

“Night, Regina.” Janis murmured.

————

“Oh, God. I showed up at your door out of nowhere and you just let me sleepover?”

“Because it was late and you were drunk off your ass.” Regina reasoned, “Sit down and eat your breakfast.”

“Aw, you made me breakfast?” She teases.

“I can throw it away if you don’t want it.” Regina plays along.

“Didn’t say that.” Janis sulked and sat down at the table, “Thanks.”

What Janis told her last night wasn’t forgotten but she wasn’t going to bring it up again. Janis was now back to her usual self— she didn’t want to upset her again. All Regina could do from now on was to focus on being a better person and not hurt someone else again.

“Last night, you told me you were dating y/n. I didn’t ask, you just…told me. And if you didn’t want anyone to know—”

“Ah, it wasn’t like we were hiding it anyway. We just don’t really…do PDA.”

Regina nods, “How’s your head?”

“Feels like it could explode.” Janis jokes, shoving a forkful of pancakes into her mouth. “Take an Advil before you go. Do you want a ride?”

“Nope, thanks.”

“Do you need a ride?”

Janis glares at her, exhaling, “No. I’m gonna walk over to y/n’s after this.”

“Oh? She lives nearby?”

“Yes, she does, Regina.” Janis smirked, “I’m surprised you even knew who I was talking about.”

“I know people outside of my own circle, Janis.” Regina replies, feigning offence.

“Not that.” Janis stifles a laugh, “It’s just that she’s more of an introvert. She doesn’t really talk to that many people often. Obviously, you two haven’t talked.”

This was the most time the ex-best friends have spent together since middle school. It was bittersweet— Janis missed her best friend, someone who was hers, someone who she thought she could spend the rest of her life with. But what did little Janis know? Nothing much. Now older, she knew better than that. Some stuff’s just gotta hurt until it doesn’t anymore.

Regina misses her too, but knew after last night that she was definitely never getting that friendship back ever again. Life had to go on. But that didn’t mean that they couldn’t be on good terms now. Acquaintances.

After breakfast, Janis departs. “I’ll see you around, Janis.” Regina brings her to the foyer. “Yep.” Janis nodded, giving the girl a crooked smile, “Thanks for uh, watching out for me last night and breakfast.”

“You’re welcome.” Regina flashes her a similar smile. Regina hesitates, but Janis was engulfed in a hug eventually. After an initial shock, Janis hugs her back. “See you, Jay.”

“See you, Gina.”

With that, Regina watches the brunette leave before shutting the front door and continuing with her day. Her heart ached, but she also felt knowing that she had some sort of closure from the monstrosity of a situation back in middle school— she had a crystal clear understanding of where Janis stood regarding the situation and where she herself stood in Janis’ world. Nowhere like before, but now better than it has been for years.

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N: Can’t sleep, but at least something came out of it lol😓

#auli’i cravalho #renee rapp #janis ‘imi’ike #regina george #janis ‘imi’ike x regina george #rejanis #lesbian #gxg #wlw #fluff #lgbtqia #queer fic #mean girls 2024 #mgmm fics #drabble #blurb #short fic

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 16!!!

My friends! I have heard your cries! You are worried about Muriel and yearn to know what has become of them! Rest assured, they are in this installment.

Let's do this.

Beginning || Previous || Next

*****************************************

After a moment of commiserative silence, Sardis gets up to go to the bar for another round of drinks. He says sometimes magic just isn’t as good as a properly mixed drink, and leaves. You’ve barely had a sip of your fishbowl.

Jesus is a 13 year-old boy who is white and rich and lives in Los Angeles with his rich parents. The world is doomed.

Your brain is still simmering in the sauce of despair when Anathema suddenly leans in close, pushing glasses to the side as she does. She gets as close to the middle of the table as she can, and you look her up and down because you’re pretty sure the table is sticky (and you’re too scared of the answer to wonder why).

“Okay, listen,” she says urgently, “I need to tell you before Sardis gets back. I got a call from Newt. Muriel’s missing.”

Whatever you were expecting to hear, it wasn’t that. You feel like you’ve suddenly been dropped into ice water. Muriel’s….missing.

“Missing how exactly?” asks Crowley.

“Like missing missing,” Anathema says. How is it that something so vague can clarify her meaning so well? “They went to see a movie, and Muriel just disappeared. He hasn’t been able to find them anywhere.” You don’t have the words to speak yet, but the expression you turn towards Anathema seems to be enough for her. “Listen,” she says to you, “They had every reason to think that it would be okay. The Metatron was after us, remember? He wants us.” You turn your eyes back to the table, wishing that Anathema hadn’t moved your drink away. You could really use something to hold on to right now.

“Right,” Aziraphale begins in a take-charge kind of way, “Tell him that there’s a summoning circle on the floor in my bookshop--”

“-- He tried that already. He says he just got voicemail, and...uh...dial-up.” You’re not looking but you can feel Anathema’s expression without seeing it. Who in the universe still uses dial-up??

“Oh,” Aziraphale sounds deflated.

“Maybe they just popped out to the shop?” Crowley suggests. The question sounds ridiculous and even sarcastic, but what he means is maybe they’re okay and not actually in any trouble at all, and maybe they’ll come back safe and sound and everyone will have a good laugh about it later.

“I mean, it’s possible,” Anathema answers, apparently also understanding what Crowley meant, “But honestly, I don’t think it’s likely.”

“Well regardless,” says Aziraphale, “I highly doubt the Metatron would do anything to harm Muriel. Heaven doesn’t work that way, least of all him.”

“No,” agrees Crowley, “They usually outsource that sort of thing to Hell. Might be able to twist an arm and find out if they...ah...mmm…know anything.” You haven’t looked up yet, but you’re pretty sure Crowley noticed that you haven’t said anything halfway through that suggestion.

Muriel is missing. Your friend. Your wholesome, lovely friend, who came to earth dressed like a lighthouse and who you persuaded to adopt argyle. Your friend who spun around to music with you even though they don’t dance. Your friend who watched the first time you had to calm yourself down from a panic attack and gave you a button to help you with the next one. It’s still in your pocket, you remember. You pull it out and stare at it in your palm. A good large-but-not-too-large plain green button. A good thing to fiddle with whenever you’re anxious. Suddenly you feel tears around your eyes, and maybe it’s the alcohol, but you can’t exactly fight them back. The most you can do is keep yourself from sobbing with worry. Everyone else is still discussing what to do.

“Listen,” Anathema is saying, “I know it’s hard, but we can’t stop saving the world to go back and look for them. The Metatron could be using Muriel as bait for all we know, and we’d be playing right into his hands.”

“Well surely we can’t just leave poor Muriel either,” Aziraphale replies.

“No,” Anathema responds, “I suggested he call Adam. If anyone can help him, Adam can.”

“Do you think” You finally say, “that Muriel knows? That they know we’re coming to find them?”

“I don’t know,” Anathema sighs, “I like to think that they know us well enough to have hope. Wherever they are.”

“Perhaps we could send them a message,” Aziraphale suggests.

“Mmnn,” Crowley seems to agree, “We need to make sure it’s something the Metatron wouldn’t pick up on. Like a secret code or something.”

The three of them start to discuss what kind of message or code you could all send Muriel. Meanwhile, the only thing you find yourself able to do is fidget with the button. The debate has gotten the other three nowhere when a lightbulb goes off. The button.

In dramatic fashion that only Crowley could match, you slam the button on the table. Everyone stops their discussion to watch as you grab the miracle enabler out of your pocket and tear off the number 2 with your teeth. As you spit it to the side, you watch and notice that it stays gone. The miracle went through. Anathema blinks.

“Okay,” she starts, “First of all, I get that you’re upset and that’s perfectly reasonable. But this stuff is important so next time can we please forgo the dramatics and discuss with the group first?”

“Sorry,” You say, even though you’re not.

“What message did you send them?” Crowley asks. In response, you hold up the button.

“You see this? Muriel gave this to me before we left. To help me with my panic attacks. As...as comfort.”

“Okay...” Crowley says. You see Anathema and Aziraphale exchange a look.

“So I sent them an exact copy,” You finish.

“That’s rather clever,” Aziraphale sounds impressed.

“Yeah, not bad.” Anathema agrees. “But next time please tell us first.” You nod in agreement and take a sip of your drink just as Sardis returns with more for everyone else.

Hang tight Muriel, you think to yourself, or Muriel if they can somehow hear you, We’ll find you. We won’t leave you on your own.

********************

Muriel scrivened away at their desk. It was hard to come back to scrivening after having such a lovely time on Earth, but they had been told it was an emergency and that they would be able to come back later once everything had been sorted out. Muriel hadn’t realized that what they’d meant was paperwork. They looked around their office and sighed. Every square foot of it was covered with teetering towers of file folders, leaving no way to see anything else. Not that there was anything else to see ever, it was Heaven after all. They had so much to catch up on.

“How are you doing in here, Muriel?” came a voice from among the towers of folders. Muriel jumped in surprise.

“Oh! Ah, I’m doing alright Metatron,” they answered, “It’s a lot to get through, but I’m starting to make some headway I think!”

“That’s excellent!” The Metatron replied. He wound his way through the stacks until he could see Muriel’s face. He smiled kindly. “I really am so grateful that you were able to return and lend us your help. As you can see, things have gotten a little out of hand in your absence.”

“Yes,” Muriel said, “Of course, Metatron! I didn’t realize that I was leaving everyone with so much. Please pass along my apologies to them.” The Metatron nodded with a thoughtful hum.

“It is the nature of our work, Muriel,” he said, “That we do now know or understand our own importance or place in the workings of things while we are doing them. It is not for us to know, after all! But when someone strays from their role, when they leave for a time and their absence is felt, then we often find out just how vital we are. Not one of us is a ‘nobody,’ we are all incredibly important in the workings of God.”

Muriel nodded. “Yes, Metatron, of course!”

“Ah Muriel,” Metatron said fondly, “You are a most diligent and dedicated soul. Be well assured that the Almighty knows just how grateful we are for you and your continued contributions.”

“Oh! The Almighty?! Really?? Wow! Thank you Metatron!” Muriel sat in awe. They had always thought that they were nobody really. But this whole time they had been so important that even God knew! Muriel looked around at the endless towers of files with new inspiration and purpose. If God knew that they were valuable, then they must do their very best to live up to it! “Don’t worry, Metatron, I’ll get all this sorted out!”

Only…

“I have utmost faith in your abilities, my dear,” Metatron began, “And yet I do sense a small seed of doubt. Is it perhaps something I can help you with?”

Muriel nearly jumped again. Could he read minds? How had he known?

“It’s nothing really,” Muriel said sheepishly, “It’s only...I wish I could have said goodbye. Newt must have been so worried for me to just leave so suddenly. My friends might all be very worried about me.”

“Well why would they be worried?” The Metatron asked jovially, “You’ve come back home! You’re much safer and happier in Heaven than you could be anywhere on Earth.” He looked at Muriel’s unconvinced expression, and relented to a thoughtful smile. “Although I suppose we could send them a message for you. Let them know that you are perfectly alright, and have returned at our request to save us from all of this,” he waved his hands to gesture at the mountains of paperwork. Muriel brightened.

“Oh that would be wonderful! Very kind of you, really Metatron. Thank you ever so much.”

“My pleasure, my dear Muriel,” Metatron cooed, “I shall be back to check on you later, shall I?”

With that, he left and closed the door.

“Ah! Metatron!” Saraquel called to him, speeding over, “Your Grace,” she nodded her head in deference, “Is there anything you would like for the Scriveners to...well...scriven? All of our paperwork has been redirected elsewhere and now I have scores of angels with nothing to do.”

“There is always something to do, Saraquel,” the Metatron smiled kindly, “I have the utmost faith in your abilities to lead. As always.” And he left.

Back inside the office, Muriel was beginning to feel much less...enthused. Now that Metatron was gone, the fatigue of tedious work was returning. There was just so much to do. And to think they had left all the other scriveners with all of this. They felt terrible for that. This was…horrible. This was...just so overwhelming. Muriel took a selfish moment to drop their head into their arms. This felt endless. For a short time, Muriel focused on breathing, before a small clatter made them look up. There was a green button on their desk. Carefully, Muriel poked at it. It was definitely a material object. How strange! They picked it up and examined it for a moment before recognition hit them. Oh! They knew what this was! They had given a button just like this to their new friend! The one that God had sent to help save the world with Aziraphale and Mr. Crowley! A smile of relief spread across Muriel’s face, and despite themselves they hugged the button close like it was the most precious thing in all of Heaven. Thank God. The Metatron had sent them a message, and now they knew everything was alright. For a minute there, Muriel had been worried that he wouldn’t.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #aziracrow lasts forever #aziraphale x crowley #good omens fandom #ineffable fandom #muriel #anathema device #anathema #metatron #good omens 3 #good omens season 3 #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #fanatic intervention #part 16 #fanfiction #fanfic #sardis #the angel of sardis #we're all in this together #let's write #poll fic #come play with us #muriel and the green button #heaven is nothing but paperwork

[islandtarochips]

[MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM: UNKNOWN]

"Koa Nakiu.

Hope this message reaches you well. I've always wanted to say that you've been one of the closest aids I've ever met, and I'm grateful for your kind companionship. But now, with everything in my control, I just wanted to say this very thing to you — that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you went through all that pain just to come this far. You never deserved that in the first place. And I'm sorry that I have to let you go, as well. Maybe one day, I'll see you again. Because right now, we all are balancing on a tight string and a huge pit surrounding darkness is waiting for one of us to come down. I can't let that happen. I need to make things better, in my power.

That's why. I would only want you to tell the rest of our allies.. that they shouldn't worry about me. I could be everywhere, making sure you all are okay. Tell Aleks and Charles that I'll be fine, because I've vanished from the world now. Only for the sake of them, and for the world.

Your truly, Vorona."

Arthur's Note: I shall answer this one...with a ONESHOT story. Here it is! (And sorry @welldonekhushi for taking so long! It took me a while to find some time and ideas to get this right. Hope this is ok...)

-----------------------------------------------

“Vorona? Who the fuck is Vorona?” Koa asked himself after reading this mysterious letter.

He had found it in his drawer after withdrawing himself from the party. The party that they are celebrating for winning the war. Him and the gang had saved Europe from Perseus who was about to release the Nuke all over the area.

And they have stopped him. All thanks to Bell for telling them the location of where Perseus was at.

Koa had kept staring at the letter, trying to figure out who would put this paper into his drawer before heading out to finish the mission.

He also questions how this mystery person knows his name and knows about Aleks and Charles. He thought it might be a threat but the way he reads sentence after sentence.

It…doesn’t sound threatening at all. It somehow makes him feel…guilty all of a sudden.

Koa rubbed his head as he felt puzzled. He wanted to know of who actually left this letter in HIS drawer and how they know about him. Until he smells a familiar scent from the letter.

He slowly put it up close to his face as he took a good sniff from it. The scent of a cologne mixed with a smoking smell from a cigarette. And then it triggered his memory of seeing someone recognizable.

Koa looked at the wall as he remembered now. “...Bell?”

He imagined the Russian man smiling at him softly.

“What the-” 

He looked back at the letter as he felt something bad had happened. Something happened that HE wasn’t there for the man he called his close friend and brother.

He read it again as his hand started shaking.

Why does he feel the heaviness in his heart?

Why does he feel like his body is shaking so much?

He folded the letter and put it in his pocket before walking out of his room. As he saw the gang is still partying. 

Park, Sims and Lazar were talking. While Hudson was getting annoyed by Woods drunkenly talking to him as Mason was just laughing.

And then saw Charles and Aleks were chatting away remembering a good time.

But where is Adler and Bell?

He walked over to Charles and Aleks as he got the two attention.

“Koa! Hermano! You’re missing yourself with the drink that you like!” Aleks said with a cheerful tone and with a bright smile; as she grabbed another cup that was on the table next to her. She walked up to him before she saw Koa’s expression. “Hey…you ok? You seem like you saw a ghost.”

Koa looked down at Aleks, seeing her worried expression. He cleared his throat before looking around. “Have you seen Bell and Adler? I need to talk with them. Or…make that Adler.”

Aleks pondered a bit as she tried to remember. “Um…well…I only saw Adler. I was also questioning where Bell was as well. But I didn’t ask him yet.”

 “Then where is Adler?”

“He should be outside smoking.”

Charles stepped in looking at the two. “What’s going on?”

“Koa was just asking where's Adler and Bell.”

Charles was taking a sip from his drink before looking around. “Hmmm. All I can remember is that it was only Adler who came in last. I don’t think I’ve seen Bell anywhere.”

Charles saw Koa’s expression had turned pale and saw he didn’t hear him. “Nakiu? Helloooooo? Earth to NAKIU.” He snapped his fingers in front of Koa.

The big man jolted at hearing the snap of the Professor’s fingers. “U-Uh- Sorry! I um…”

“¿Estás bien? What’s going on?’ Aleks asked as she looked even more worried for her Māori friend.

Before Koa could answer, he saw Adler walk back in. “I’ll be right back.” He quickly walked past Charles and Aleks as he hurriedly walked up to the CIA man.

“Adler!”

Adler turned his head to see Koa walking up to him so quickly as he stood firm. While flicking his cigarette away. “Yes, Nakiu?”

Koa got up to him as he took a deep breath and looked at him. Looking deep through this man’s sunglasses that he always wore wherever he goes. “Adler…I…I need to know. Where is Bell?”

Adler raised his eyebrows a bit after hearing that question. Before looking away to avoid the Captain’s gaze.

Koa knew something was up. He kept asking him that same question. “Adler. WHERE is BELL?” He saw him trying to turn away from him but he stopped him.

“Don’t you fucking turn away from ME, Adler. ANSWER my question.” Koa started to protest while blocking his way.

“MOVE. NAKIU. I got other business to get done.” Adler warned the Captain.

“The business shit is ALREADY done!”

Aleks quickly stepped in between the two before looking at Koa. “K-Koa, calm down. What’s going on?”

Koa started to point at Adler as he didn’t listen to Aleks. “Where IS he, Adler? I just want to KNOW!” He didn’t pay attention to anyone else except to Adler. He was so focused on getting an answer from this CIA agent. He KNOWS that he had something to hide.

He’s feeling impatient but did his best to stay cool.

Charles also stepped in before touching Koa’s shoulder. “Nakiu. You need to calm down.”

Koa shoved his hand away before pushing Aleks aside gently as he took a step forward towards Adler. 

The Agent took a step back as his back touched against the wall. While staring up at the angry Captain.

The rest of the gang saw this as well as they walked over to see what was going on.

Mason stood next to Aleks. “What’s going on? Why is Koa like this?”

Aleks was just looking worried as she wanted to stop Koa from doing anything stupid. But somehow deep down inside of her tells her to wait and see. “I-I…I don’t know. Koa kept asking Adler where's Bell…”

“You know…I was questioning that too.” Woods said as he took a step in. “Hey ADLER! Where IS Bell huh? I thought he was with YOU.”

Adler was silenced as he was just staring at Woods, who is a bit drunk, through his sunglasses before looking back at Koa.

The Māori man was towering over him a bit, he was DESPERATE to know where his friend, his ally, his BROTHER.

“ADLER. PLEASE. I’m begging you. WHERE is BELL?”

Adler was still being quiet as he looked away. Koa was getting annoyed at this. He took another step forward, cornering Adler, and glared at him. “ADLER! Where is BE-”

“HE’S GONE!”

The garage was in deep silence after Adler had yell with those TWO simple words. The words had cut so deep into Koa’s heart.

Aleks, Charles and everyone else in the garage were shocked to hear this. Except for Hudson, Sims and Park. For some reason...

Koa was just standing there with wide eyes. “W-What…?”

“He’s FUCKING gone, Koa! You happy now?” Adler said with an annoyance in his tone but with a small guilt mixed with it.

Aleks was covering her mouth in shock. While Charles was just standing there also being shocked and was gripping his glass.

Mason walked over as he touched Koa’s shoulder while glaring at Adler. “Russel. What do you mean he’s GONE?”

“What did you do to him, Adler?” Woods asked the question as he took a step forward while glaring at him.

Adler was silenced again as he sighed trying to find the right words.

Aleks looked at Adler with saddened eyes. “Adler…?”

He was about to say something before jolting at Koa, grabbing him by his leather brown jacket and getting his back slammed against the wall.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?” Koa yelled, making everyone panic.

Mason quickly grabbed Koa’s shoulder trying to pull him away but he’s too stubborn and strong to be pulled back. “KOA! CALM DOWN!”

“Koa! Let go of him NOW!” Hudson ordered the Captain.

But he didn’t listen as he slammed Adler again against the wall. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO BELL?!? TELL ME!”

Adler groaned as he grabbed onto Koa's arms. “Let GO of me, you bastard! Get OFF!"

“Not until you TELL me what you did to the man who had HELPED us!”

“For fuck sake- LAZAR!” Hudson rubbed the bridge of his nose before pointing at Lazar.

Lazar stepped in and helped Mason to pull Koa away.

The Captain struggled to get out of their grip while still yelling at Adler.

Charles scoffed seeing this scene before looking at Adler. “Answer the DAMN question, Adler. What did you do to him and WHERE is he?” Then he glared at Hudson. “I know YOU have something to do with this as well.”

Hudson glared back at the Professor. “What made you say THAT?”

“Don’t play the dumb shit game here. You both are in the same agencies to SAVE the world but I know deep down that you’re just a bunch of BULLSHITS.” Charles snarled at both of the CIA agents. “So tell us the truth or I might reconsider Nakiu here to disfigure BOTH of your faces.” 

Charles gave them both a daggered stare as he took a quick swig on his drink down to his throat. Before Adler sighs in defeat and fixes himself up.

“The CIA had already put Bell under a death sentence. We’re only using him and keeping him alive for some information about Perseus.” Adler explained.

Aleks was confused as she looked at Adler. “DEATH sentence? What does that supposed to mean?”

Hudson stepped in to answer that. “Which means that he’s already no use for us after this mission.”

Everyone was stunned. Except for Park and Sims as the two looked away. Koa caught the two as he glared at them. While still being held back by Lazar and Mason.

“You two know about this DIDN’T you?” Koa said with anger.

“Hey man! I’m just a guy who solves problems! Which, in case you FORGET, that I provide materials for y'all. I didn’t know about the death sentence until NOW!” Sims raised his hands in defense.

“Yeah, by putting a SYRINGE into his fucking EYEBALL?”

“You WHAT?” Mason looked at Sims and Park with a dumbfounded look. “You put a syringe into Bell’s EYES? WHY?!”

Park motioned her hands towards Mason to calm down. “It’s the only way to get his memory back for him to tell us of where Perseus was at.”

Woods walked up while pointing his finger at her. “BULLSHIT! He could’ve died from how many times you have to put that in him!”

Hudson stepped in between Woods and Park. “Alright ENOUGH! Let’s just take a breather!”

Aleks was just looking at the gang back and forth before looking at Adler who was just standing there. “Adler…why would you do that? He TOLD us of where Perseus was at. And yet, you decided to…to KILL him?”

“That wasn’t my choice. He’s already on a death sentence under the hands of the CIA. It’s unfair, yes. Which is why Hudson wanted me to end him instead of them.”

“You CAN’T even think of another way to let him stay? O-Or let him walk freely just for a bit?”

“It’s not that simple Aleks-”

“It should’ve been simple!” Aleks yelled at Adler as tears slowly appeared into her brown sad eyes. She could feel a small pain piercing into her chest. “He TRUSTED us! He trusted KOA! He trusted CHARLES! He trusted WOODS! MASON! ME! EVERYONE in this fucking safe house!”

Everyone was looking at Aleks, seeing her for the first time being upset. Of course, she’s upset most of the time but not like this.

“¿¡¿CÓMO PUEDES HACERLE ESTO?!?” She walked up to him as she pushed him back. “¡¿POR QUÉ TIENES QUE HACER ESTO?!”

She started to hit him against his chest with her fist while still crying and yelling at him. Before Charles walked over and gently pulled Aleks away from him. He comforted her a bit before he gave a disappointed look at Adler.

Adler was just staring at Aleks who was crying as he was about to reach out to her. “I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not.”

Adler looked at Koa seeing him walking up to him. Lazar was about to grab Koa but stopped himself as he knew that the Captain needed to say something.

“You’re not SORRY because if you were you wouldn’t killed him.” Koa said as he blocked in front of Adler from Aleks. Towering over him again. He looked at the CIA Agent as he wanted to end him so badly. But Koa had been learning all of his life. Since the very beginning of him joining the army. He didn’t come this far to end with violence to someone who he was working with.

He took a deep breath as he slowly leaned back. “And even if you DIDN’T. You still won’t trust him.” He looked at Adler with sadden eyes before he slowly dug into his pocket and brought out the folded letter. The letter that he had found from his drawer.

Everyone was looking at Koa confusingly as they saw a paper in his hand.

Koa was just staring at the folded paper.

Breathing calmly before clutching onto it and looking Adler straight into his eyes. Through those ridiculous sunglasses “I’m done.”

Adler raised his eyebrows after hearing that from the Captain. “What?”

“I’m DONE. I’m done with this mission. I’m done with this war. I am done with you and your CIA bullshits.” Koa slowly looked at Adler with seriousness in his eyes. “I’m going back to New Zealand. Going back to the Army. And I would appreciate it if you NOT contact me. EVER.”

Adler was dumbfounded to hear this from Koa. It was unexpected that he would actually let one person who had passed. Could make him quit.

Koa then glared at Hudson. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I’m sure there are other people who would like to be your little PUPPET.”

Hudson was silenced when the Captain had pointed out to him. Which he looked away.

Koa kept his glare as he looked at Park and Sim. “I thought you guys knew better. Then being DESPERATE to solve or finding the answer.”

Sims rubbed behind his head and looked away. While Park looked at him with guilt as she rubbed her arm.

Koa sighed calmly before turning around to look at Woods and Mason. “Woods. Mason. It’s…an honor to be working with you both. I apologize that this meeting won’t last long.” 

“Hey, we understand your struggles. And…we’re sorry that this is a twisted night.” Woods said as he put his hand out to the Captain. “It’s nice meeting you, Captain.”

Koa looked at Woods' hand and smiled at him a bit before shaking his hand.

Mason also did the same with Koa and gave him a hug after. He appreciated this from him.

So Koa leaned back and gave him a nod before walking over while looking at Lazar. “Lazar.”

“Captain. ….I…” Lazar was trying to find words to say but seemed like he was too ashamed to even speak.

But Koa understands and just gives him a reassuring smile before patting his shoulder. “It’s alright, Lazar. I’m not blaming you.”

Then he got to Charles and Aleks. He slowly looked down at the woman who was crying still. He could see pain in her eyes as if she was blaming herself for not knowing the truth.

“Aleks…” Before he could say anything else. He suddenly felt Aleks hugging him. Koa showed his expression of being worried for his dear friend. As he hugged her gently.

“Lo lamento…” Aleks said it between her sobbing.

It broke Koa’s heart to see this woman who he called sister like this. He gently leaned her back and placed his hand on her cheek before wiping her tears away. “No lo seas. No lo sabías.” He said it softly before smiling at her.

Aleks was still feeling guilty when she saw Koa’s soft smile. She just smiled back a bit before hugging him again.

He chuckled as he didn’t reject another hug. And saw Charles was fixing his glasses. “Are you crying?” Koa cooed at him in a teasing way.

“Tch. As IF. I just got something in my eye.”

“Uh huh. Riiiiiiiiiiight.”

The Captain chuckled as he saw the Professor walk over. Seeing him sigh before running his hand through his brown hair.

Aleks leaned back and wiped her tears before looking at the two.

Koa and Charles were just staring at each other. Despite them hating each other, teasing each other and even getting on each other’s nerves. Koa knows deep down that Charles cared.

“Soooo. Wanna hug it out?” Koa asked with a small smile.

Charles rolled his eyes as he fixed his glasses before putting his hand out to Koa. “A handshake would be sufficient.”

The Captain smiled a bit as he took the Professor’s hand and shook on it.

“As much…as I despise you from the very beginning. I will be missing your annoyance around here. It will be quiet without you.” Charles said as he looked into Koa’s eyes. As if he meant it really well.

“Getting soft on me, Charlie?” Koa said with a teasing grin.

“DON’T make me take my words back, Nakiu.”

Koa laughed a bit before smiling at Charles and then at Aleks. “I…I’m really glad that I have met you both.” He said it softly.

“We’ll see you tomorrow when you go out.” Aleks promised as she wanted to see her friend one last time before departure.

Koa just smiled at her. “I would like that.” Then he sighs before turning to face everyone. “I’ll pack my things.”

After that, Koa had left to go to his room to get his things. Of course, he doesn’t want to leave. He doesn’t want to go away after everything that they have been through.

With some laughter, arguments and working together.

But…

It wasn’t the same without that ONE person that he deeply cared for. Hoping it’ll give him a second chance to change once and for all. And now…he lost it. AGAIN. ----------------------

Words: 3040 Characters (Left -> Right)

Koa "Hunter" Nakiu -> Me

Aleksandra Clarke R. -> @alypink

Charles "Charlie" Moore -> @deeptrashwitch

Vasili "Bell" Sokolov -> @welldonekhushi

#cod oneshot #call of duty #call of duty oc #cod oc #call of duty black ops #cod black ops cold war #black ops oc #captain koa hunter nakiu #oc: aleks #charles moore #vasili sokolov #friends ocs #mutuals oc #frank woods #helen park #alex mason #russel adler #jason hudson #lawrence sims #eleazar lazar azoulay #eleazar azoulay

[honeybcj]

hi han! how are you?

popped on to tell you how much i miss your bottom barty and was wondering if you would like to share your thoughts about him some more pretty please?<3

hi loonie! i’m doing pretty well today, thank you for asking <3 how are you doing? i hope the day is treating you well! i would loooooove to talk more about bottom barty!!!!

— when it comes to barty bottoming, it’s like, a process kind of. in past relationships or hookups he just lets himself take control. and when it comes to bottom barty, i think a lot about this with rosekiller because evan is the one person barty trusts with everything inside him, and letting himself lose control like that, just give it up and let evan make him feel good, i think that is so beautiful.

— based on my convos with @panchashire and his art of barty in a collar, i cannot envision having it any other way. i know sub and bottom are too completely different things, but this is a moment where barty is completely submissive while bottoming. ev keeps him on a leash, the pretty black leather of his collar resting around his neck.

— bottom barty is the only behaved barty!! literally in any other situation barty is just like my world, my rules, you must do right by me, yada yada, but then you’ve got barty on his knees or spread out, flushed, on the bed, and he just listens so prettily. every single time.

— this dynamic also goes really well with ev’s lower sex drive. again, big shout out to pan and his big brain. it allows for the opportunity for ev to make barty feel good, which is something that he does really enjoy, while not letting him be uncomfy in the situation because he isn’t in the mood to be touched like that.

— barty is a big whiner and loves receiving praise. he knows he’s always been really good at things, but the praise never really came. and the first time ev told barty he was being a good boy for listening and playing with himself so well, barty folds like a cheap plastic lawn chair. they definitely keep up the praise often.

— when barty feels like bottoming, he often does like to ride ev. he literally feels on top of the world. literally because evan is his world (i’m feeling soppy what can i say). ev loves watching barty take what he needs, stroking his flank and thighs, tracing the little tattoos all over his torso and legs.

— i want disciplined barty on his knees, staring up at evan with wide eyes and pleading to suck the strap, so fuckin bad. ev knows just how bad barty wants his mouth full. he’ll sub out completely and let ev fuck his mouth until barty is crying and drooling everywhere, frustrated as he humps against the air until evan finally fingers him open and fucks him into next sunday.

#han’s asks #loonie tag <3 #barty crouch jr

[dcviline]

h.otd is really the only fandom where you'll have people calling characters "narcissists" for making choices with their bodily autonomy that don't entirely align with what society demands of them

#᯽ ooc. ⊱ ── ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞ #the amount of insane shit I have seen today besties #I need to scream in the tags for a minute so look away if you don't wanna see fandom negativity #(not about the rpc but about a particular fandom on a broader scale) #I gotta be careful liking art or anything from this fandom bc one minute I'll like a piece of art about characters from the show #and then suddenly I have the most batshit misogynistic insane bullshit takes I have ever seen in my fyp #this is part of why I side eye the whole team vs team approach because while it can be fun #as long as we are all in collective agreement to be mature and not fucking weird about shit #this fandom as a whole cannot fucking behave when it comes to women and I say that with my full chest #and you will see people justifying misogyny and homophobia and femicide and all kinds of vile things #to woobify their favorite Bad Boys or project onto the person the fandom has decided is suddenly the most tragic lesbian in the world #bc people are obsessed with proving their favs are objectively right somehow (especially when they're NOT) #you don't . . . have to justify every single thing a character does?? to validate the fact that you like them????? #if you don't have the mental maturity to accept that characters in this fandom often do some pretty fucked up things with no justification #you . . . don't need to engage with this fandom. at all. #if you can't admit 'oh this thing my fav did was super fucked. they were wrong for that but I still like them' #this is not the fandom for you #bc you will blink and suddenly you are spewing violent misogyny YOURSELF to defend A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER #defending r*pe culture. defending misogyny. defending homophobia. #saying women in the story should kiss up to the patriarchy and uphold it because 'it's the right thing to do as a woman' #fuck outta here #also saying 'it's right because that's just how things are in this world' is missing the point entirely #YOU are not a fictional character living in this world. YOU are the reader who is supposed to judge this BY YOUR OWN MORALS #also the amount of people verbally attacking a black actress for speaking out for her character?? defending her character???? #to the point where the show had to issue a fucking statement on it???? #lot of people suddenly so comfortable being racist pieces of shit all over some fictional white boys #this is why I try not to engage with h.otd side of the fandom (rpc excluded) as a whole #bc the amount of nasty behavior is truly disproportionate #I'll probably delete this soon I just saw someone pull the 'narcissist' card #and saw another person say some racist shit about b.ethany a.ntonia again and I'm pissed about it

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt my dupe ocs again... Maybe Quinn does have hashtag issues actually

#rat rambles #oni posting #oc posting #theyre very well known and liked amongst all the colonies as y'know. they helped found all of them. #and theyve always been very friendly and kind and they have always taken their responsibilities incredibly seriously #and when they get time to be on a planet they relish it as they have a great deal of appreciation for the beauty of these worlds #but one thing that has always been a thing for them is that they've never rly had like. friends amongst these colonies #partially because of them having to travel constantly but even when they get time to hang out more theyve sort of unconsciously trained #themself to be a bit emotionaly detached from those around them #it also doesnt help that theyre a digger and usually one of like 2 or 3 on any given planetoid #which earlier on meant thar they rarely encountered other dupes and late on left then with little to do as most of the ongoing work was #already being managed by others specifically trained for the role #so the isolation started to get to them and they started to get rly antsy and didn't know why or how to fix it #when the printing pod went offline they were one of the ones more calm abt the matter due to them being generally more used to the unknown #and this combined with their general good reputation lead to a lot of dupes looking to them for direction and answers alongside burt #this actually made quinn feel rly good for a while since it was their excuse to actually talk to ppl regularly and in more personal ways #theyd hear out ppls anxieties and ideas and newest passions and goals and theyd actually feel like theyre hearing the words said #they liked the feeling of everyone wanting to be around them and seeking them out even on other planetoids #they'd get phone calls and people taking breaks from their work to come say hi and it made them feel real #but as time went on and their fellow dupes became more and more self reliant they began to seek them out less and less #because why bother someone so important and busy when you dont need to right? #and this lead to quinn going wait no why did you all leave me again :( #it felt like before but worse because now they actually had started considering a lot of these guys friends #and they still had no idea how to reach out themself without a work reason and as such they sorta started dissolving again #and its during this time when they start missing the pod and start to get more upset that shes gone #they end up returning to the original partially to be closer to her and partially because it feels the most like home to them #there they start to slowly learn to reach out themself as they sort of sit in a corner watching burt work while shaking like a small dog #this at first is very unwanted by burt who is stressed as hell but they end up forcing him to stick to an actual shift instead of just #working until he passes out and this allows them to hang out while they force him to have downtime with them to keep him from exploding #it becomes a nice comfort time for them both as they rly havent hung out much since the first like 100 cycles or so

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

i feel like noting something rn for the non-brazilians

rozzi’s journal has a moment that implies she was nicknamed bela/bella (from isabela, or isabella, depends on whether the parent is close or distant from the brazilian equivalent of kayghtleighn parents, which is something like my sister’s classmate who was named ysabelly)

that wouldn’t happen, i think. i’ve only ever seen isa as a nickname for isabela. partially because, like

you know how calling someone bella is like ooo it sounds ~foreign~ so americans pull that shit all the time in media with a foreigner that’d speak french, italian, or spanish when they’re flirting with a lady?

it’s not a foreign word here. when directed towards a person it’s basically like saying they’re gorgeous or beautiful. brazilian translation of beauty in beauty and the beast is bela

it’s choosing to call a little girl a word that deliberately means beautiful. yeah, there’s non-weird connotations, but it would sound kinda weird and a bit creepy, so if you had the choice you’d just pick the other part of the name that will not sound weird

realistically she’d be nicknamed isa and to me it’s mildly funny that they could not get the names 100% right every time because of a technicality

#not a quote #to explain that last bit in a tiny bit more detail #marcelo is definitely a realistic name. just not a name i picture in a kid. i picture my uncles or the guy in my college class #who's like married with kids #but when they had isol they introduced francisco. which. I GUESS. MAYBE. IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE #i'm not gonna say no brazilian is named francisco but i'm gonna say it's extremely unlikely #more of an argentinian name i'd say. missed your dart in the world map a bit #isabela is the perfect name. pretty. age-appropriate generally. very common #but that bella fucking shot me dead upon first reading #i simply cannot imagine that happening ever #i guess it was a catholic orphanage. there's a joke about catholicism in here somewhere #today has been weird! i have been reading about the cold war and the brazilian dictatorship and then bella #all to the tune of the pression (você é você). very hart floyd song #i noticed the period of the cold war matched with the dictatorship and researched it a tiny bit #you would be surprised at how all brazilian calamities had us-american involvement somewhere! #'it can't be all of-' it is! every single time it's 'and also the us slipped a fifty to this party because brazil being in disarray helps' #in this particular case the dictatorship was good for not letting us have communism #so they helped finance a coup! wouldn't be the first or last time they do that! #apparently jfk was one of the people who was suggesting it first too. 46 days before getting shot in the head #which is the only thing keeping me from getting angry right now because that's so funny #new stupid jfk assassination theory! it was actually brazil all along! you thought it was russia or the cia? it was brazil baby #cebolinha did it. tudo de acoldo com o plano >:) #sometimes you make jokes just for you

[wavernot4love]

alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget

(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):

(note there will be setlist spoilers)

- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!

Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).

also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.

(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)

- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.

- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.

- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.

- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)

- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.

- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include

- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)

- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍‍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh

- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.

- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).

- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.

- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.

- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.

- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)

- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)

anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)

edit: someone added a few more!!!

anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.

and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.

this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!

#it is safe to say i have genuinely endless respect & admiration for this person who happens to be my favorite artist in the world #i could not be happier or moreso in my neutral state of how i feel like things should be than i am at the ag show #also the more i hear him talk the more i realize homie reminds me of... me. #not in a “me modeling my behaviors after him because i look up to him” kinda way #though i certainly have picked up on small things there like i tend to with folks #like phrases and the like #but no #moreso just in a “the two of us happen to share some innate similarities in regards to a buncha stuff” kinda way #just an observation. in hindsight i wonder if i subconsciously picked up on this back when i was first getting into his music #n that contributed to it resonating with me so much #i don't know man i just know i'm glad 2 have this dude's music in my life and to see homie thriving #truly hope we can meet @ a show sometime soon so i can dive into how much of a positive impact he's had on my life. i have so much to say!! #i tried to make that happen at this show i really did #i just guess it wasn't meant 2 happen then. and that is okay!! i know it will whenever it's meant to. #going back to what i said about everything just feeling.... right at the show i keep thinking about how while i miss that already #and am kinda having a crisis where in my head i feel like i'm still there (or should be) as opposed 2 here back in regular just. life #i'm just glad and lucky moments like this show are a real thing that can be my life at all. #basically i just mean the vibe of ag shows feels like everything i define my life by really #realized as something/place i can actually physically experience. #shows r my safe space that embody everything i dream about when i'm just going about day to day life #live music is everything 2 me & that's only amplified exponentially by folks like anthony that get it & turn shows even moreso into a home #thanks for reading if you have #i'm truly glad to have this space where i feel like i can talk about Everything #i love that on here the “oversharing” thing is just a thing everyone does #actually that ties back to what i brought up about anthony #i respect how unapologetically open that dude is in ways that might be “too much” for some people & really connect 2 that #point is i am so grateful for days like this and music like this and people like this #anthony green #circa survive #wavernot4love talks ag tunes

[be-good-to-bugs]

why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel

#the bin #shes also the only normal person in my family #and when i say normal i mean it in a treats other people with respect way not in a societally normal way #cause she the least 'normal' of my family in that way. which is a good thing. be a freak. autism makes u cooler by default #idk. she sthe only person who i feel like actually cares about me and my opinion and wants to hear what i have to say and views me right #i wish we talked more when i was younger. shes so nice. i hope when i move we can houngout together more and maybe watch some movies #and talk abt stuff or smth. we r probably gonna play some games together soon which is nice #i miss her. i think i can also talk to her abt how our other sister kinda sucks. i know she views her pretty highly or at least used to but #i still think i can. i dont think itll make her uncomfortable. #ive been looking over the past years with my other sister and they havent really been any good mostly #ive just been so isolated and sad that it was better than nothing but its past that point now #if id had other people to talk to then i wouodnt have soent so much time with someone making me feel worse #i also think shes just made me a worse person overall. more judgemental. the past year ive become very against that trying hard to not #and she gets very upset with me when im like hey. yknow. id rather assume the best of random strangers not doing anything that bad #i dont wanna assume everyone is an inconsiderate asshole because they arent. life circumstances we dont know about could be #the reason for this honestly pretty mild inconvenience. if u wanna think otherwise then thats fine but dont day it around me #idk. im tired of it. im still super sad but ive become a much more bright and hopeful person because im trying to be #it actually sucks to view the whole world as horrible and everyone around you ass horrible #idk. maybe i can get my other sister to do the fun stuff with me i dont like doing alone #cause it makes me unbelievably sad to realize i dont have anyone to ask anymore at all. period. but maybe it doesnt have to be that way

[avese23]

Tiktok needs to learn the difference between original meaning of a song that’s meant to be related to by the public, and mostly there for audience consumption versus the auditory documentation of first hand or second hand trauma.

The issue is the appropriation and neglect of mass pain— a practice that is actively silencing the voices of those still hurting.

That’s not comparable to a person with body insecurities related to a song written by someone who happened to have different body insecurities if you close read the lyrics. At that point who tf cares that song was meant to speak to people on an individualized scale if that speaks to you that’s half of the purpose.

#blogging at 2% mental battery again #avese has a thing on prins mind #this probably only makes partial sense in which case #good it means youve missed internet people being internet people #this isn’t about any one song but while writing the tags I just remembered how territorial people got over sweater weather #it’s not even about being bisexual but people freaked out when it because a non bi exclusive trend #and the same people will go back to walking all over black people with no care in the world #frustrating af being queer and not white sometimes cuz damn people say some wild shit #also for context the types of audio I’m specifically thinking about that have been grossly appropriated are clips from holocaust movies #or songs about slavery or the civil rights movement etc

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

#adulting #advice

[iholdwhatican]

reunions

pairing: art donaldson x reader x patrick zweig

length: 3.8k

tags: y/n is art donaldson's wife ; birthday party ; surprise visit from patrick ; art is down bad ; patrick wants y/n ; possessive!art ; the boys are fighting ; no use of y/n ; pining ; sexual tension

summary: you want to make your husband's birthday special, so you invite his attractive, charming, estranged childhood best friend in the hopes that they'll make amends. surely nothing will go wrong, right?

author's note: i can't stop thinking about them i am so ill. this is the first of presumably many challengers works. and yes i did make a new blog just for this, don't judge me. this is a drabble that was stuck in my head but I do have more for it should it be wanted! preferably something that leaves you sandwiched in between them :3

originally posted by iholdwhatican

You told yourself this whole thing happened out of the goodness of your heart. You’d just wanted to be a good wife and make your husband’s birthday the best it could possibly be. Because Art Donaldson was the most amazing person you’d ever known, and he loved you, and he deserved the world. There was nothing off limits when it came to him, no line you wouldn’t cross. 

You knew how much Patrick had meant to him, how much he missed his best friend. Your cheeks hurt from how wide the stories made you smile, how happy he sounded when he recounted the things he’d gotten into with the eccentric tennis player. And you knew how sad Art was that they didn’t talk anymore. 

So what better time to remedy that than for his birthday? That was a wonderful surprise, right? Right?

Upon meeting Patrick Zweig, your first thought was how the hell this man got along so well with your Art. Not to say he was a bad person, but he was just so… much. He was cocky, indomitable, the kind of person that knew what he wanted and what he was worth and wouldn’t settle for anything less. He was a force not to be reckoned with, no matter what. He was also unbelievably charming (and not bad on the eyes, which you would never admit), and you hated the way his sweet-talking got under your skin. 

He asked you how Art was. You told him he was fine. Retired, now. Making the most of a quiet life. You’d just celebrated 3 years of married life. He asked to see wedding photos and you didn’t miss the sadness in his eyes at missing the event. You happily obliged. It was the most romantic day of your life, after all. 

And you couldn’t help but internally pat yourself on the back. Patrick missed him too. You could mend the broken bridge between them, and your husband would be thrilled. He’d reward you for your good work. 

You asked Patrick to come to Art’s party. To make contact again. To come back into his world. He only hesitated for a moment, asked if Art knew and was okay with it. 

The lie slipped off your tongue easily. Of course, he’s wanted this for a long time. It’s a surprise, but a most welcome one. You didn’t have details on what happened between them- only knew of a falling out while Art was in college- but it couldn’t be that bad. Anything could be overcome, right? 

Patrick accepted and you hoped the lump in your throat was from excitement and not dread. You thanked him for meeting you, told him you’d forward him the details, and went back to your husband. 

The day of the party came, and you were so nervous you could hardly take it. You’d spent the last couple of days working yourself into a frenzy, convinced that this reunion was a terrible idea and your husband would hate you. You had no right to bring an estranged friend back into his life, on his birthday no less. And without saying a word to him. 

God, what the hell was wrong with you? 

You gripped the edge of the kitchen counter and downed your third glass of water. It did nothing to soothe the dryness in your throat. Or the pounding of your heart. You wondered how fucked you’d be at the party if you took a Xanax right now. Or five. 

Just then, Art peeked his head into the kitchen, donning a sweet smile when he spotted you. He looked as handsome as ever, sporting a well-fitting polo shirt and khakis. His hair was growing out again, starting to show those boyish curls you’d fallen in love with all those years ago. He made his way over to you, wedding band sparkling on his finger, and your heart melted. 

You loved him so much. Had you ruined his birthday with your stupid meddling? Maybe even ruined your marriage? 

“Hey, beautiful.” He greeted, sliding a hand around your waist and kissing your head. It was a familiar gesture, a normal one. He loved touching you, keeping you close. You loved it just as much, “The cake was just delivered. You went way overboard, as usual.” 

You pretended you weren’t overcome with dread and cupped his cheek, “Shut up. There’s no such thing as overboard. You deserve this, okay? You deserve to be celebrated.” 

Please, please don’t be mad at me for inviting him. For bringing him into our world. Please still love me. I did it for you. I’d do anything for you.

His eyes crinkled as he smiled- in that perfect way you adored so much. He leaned down to kiss you again, this time on your lips. It was gentle and caring and everything you were to each other. It made you want to cry. Art was everything. All you wanted was to give him the same. 

The doorbell rang, breaking you two out of the moment, and your husband pulled away. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Well,” He spoke, looking at you like there was nothing else in the world, “That must be our first guest.” 

You hummed happily, “Guess it’s time to celebrate you, Birthday Boy. Shall we?” 

“We shall.” He teased, doing a mock bow as he offered you his hand. You took it, laughing, and the two of you made your way to the front door. 

You took a deep breath and tried not to focus on the unhappy way your stomach was churning. 

The first hour of the party went by with a pleasant lack of reunions-turned-altercations. Patrick had yet to show his face, and you wondered if he might not come at all. Part of you was relieved at the idea, while the other couldn’t help but be frustrated. 

He said he would come. What if the surprise didn’t end up being a bad thing? How would you know if he never showed? 

God, you needed a cigarette. 

You’d spent the entirety of the party so far glued to Art’s side, being his doting wife as you made conversation with everyone. Your eyes continued to stray to the door, looking for a certain dark-haired man. Every single time, you were disappointed. Disappointed, yes, but not surprised. From what you’d heard, Patrick wasn’t really someone who could be counted on a lot. 

Maybe this whole thing was just a big mistake. And maybe the part of you that truly felt let down at not getting to see him again was something you should never, never look into. 

You patted Art’s chest and stood on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “I’m gonna check on the food. I’ll be back.” 

He nodded, smiled, and pressed a kiss to your temple. His arm released its grip on you and he continued his conversation with an old Stanford buddy without missing a beat. He was fucking incredible. At everything. You were crazy about him. 

The food didn’t actually need to be checked on. The caterer was high-quality, and they knew better than to fuck up one of your events for your husband. You had full trust in them- you honestly just needed a breather. This whole night had felt like a cold fist clenched around your heart. 

Instead, you grabbed yourself a large glass of wine and made your way to the patio to enjoy some cool night air. 

The area was blessedly empty, allowing you to slip out of the hostess facade. You were more than happy to do it, especially when celebrating Art, but the circumstances tonight were making it much harder than usual. Which was, of course, entirely your own fault. Way to go, you! Knocked it out of the park tonight, didn’t you? 

You sighed, leaned against the railing, and took a long gulp of your drink. The weather was slightly chilly, and it felt amazing against your heated skin. Already, you were finding it easier to breathe. And think, for that matter. 

“Shouldn’t you be at the party, Mrs. Donaldson?” A familiar, spine-tingling voice spoke, breaking you out of your peaceful moment. 

You whirled around, eyes landing on Patrick fucking Zweig leaning against the wall of your house. A lit cigarette hung from his lips, his hands nonchalantly tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. They went well with the button-up shirt he wore, a stark contrast from the shorts and hoodie he’d had on when you first met. He looked good- really good. Enough to make a pit grow in your stomach. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” You blurted out, thankful that the darkness was shrouding your red face. His face was just barely illuminated by the orange glow of the cigarette, and you watched as he looked you up and down, “Also, how’d you get back here? I didn’t see you walk into the house.” 

Patrick kicked off the wall and walked over to you, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth. His curls fell over his forehead, and you found yourself fighting the urge to brush them out of the way- the same way you always did to Art. You swallowed deeply. What the hell was wrong with you? 

“I told you I’d come, didn’t I?” He responded matter-of-factly, blowing a puff of smoke into the air. The smell made you nostalgic. You and Art had made a pact years ago to quit together, but God did you miss it sometimes. You licked your lips and tried (and failed) not to stare, “I snuck in through the back. Thought it’d be less messy that way.” 

You had no idea how he’d been able to get back here, but you decided you weren’t gonna ask. It didn’t matter in the long run, anyway. Besides, he was probably right. You had no idea how Art was gonna react, and it was smart to have it happen in an isolated area. 

“Probably smart.” You muttered, taking another swig of the wine. The feeling of his eyes stayed on you, burning into your skin, but you didn’t meet his gaze. You didn’t want to think too hard on why. 

“He doesn’t know you reached out to me.” It wasn’t a question, but you responded to Patrick’s words regardless. He’d find out eventually. 

“No.” The admittance came out with a heavy breath, like you were releasing the weight that had been on you all night. In a way, you were. You ran a hand over your forehead, “I don’t know what happened between you two, he doesn’t talk about it. But I just- I’m terrified he’ll hate me for bringing you.” 

Why the hell were you pouring your heart out to this stranger? What was it about him that drew you in so much and made you want to bring down your walls? How was this charming man already under your skin from one damn meeting? And how the fuck were you supposed to explain any of this to your husband, his estranged best friend? 

You needed another drink. Or ten. 

“You really love him.” Again, not a question. But you answered. You had to. 

“More than anything else in this world.” 

Patrick offered you his half-smoked cigarette and you took it without thinking. The sting of the smoke in your lungs was like coming home. It was so good it almost made you cry. But lots of things made you want to cry right now. You could taste mint on the cigarette, like he’d been chewing gum before lighting up. The same kind Art always chewed. 

It made something flip in your stomach. 

“Well, from what I can tell, you’re pretty great. Super caring, based on how far you went in an attempt to make him happy. Shit, you tracked me down, which is a feat in itself. And you’re gorgeous, obviously. I’m surmising that you’re basically the whole package.” He spoke calmly, as if every one of those words didn’t make your heart jump into your throat. You chugged your drink to use it as an excuse for your rosy cheeks, “So I don’t think there’s any way he could hate you. Even for inviting me here.” 

You were speechless for five long seconds as he took the cigarette back and inhaled. Then you finally got your brain to stop lagging, “You don’t even know me.” 

“I know enough.” He countered, continuing the pass back and forth of the cigarette, “And I know Art. He wouldn’t marry someone beneath him. The fucker somehow always gets the ones way out of his league.” 

You didn’t comment, but you knew what Patrick was referring to. Tashi Duncan. The now pro-tennis player that he’d had a thing with back in the day. You didn’t know the details, but you knew she was a point of contention between the two men. 

Honestly, you tried not to think about Tashi. She was gorgeous, super talented, and an overall seemingly great person. Art had passed up on that for you, and it got to your head a lot. You wondered if he regretted it. Or at least wondered what his life could’ve been like. 

You didn’t think you were out of his league. In fact, you thought the opposite. Not that you needed to tell Patrick that. Your insecurity and jealousy issues could stay yours alone. 

“Well, I don’t know about that.” You murmured.

The cigarette began to dim as you took the last drag, flicking it off the balcony and down into the grass below. With both the alcohol and nicotine gone, you started to think you probably needed to get back to the party. Your husband would be looking for you, and you didn’t want to keep him waiting. You just had to figure out how Patrick would fit into the equation. 

“If you weren’t taken, I’d be trying to charm the fuck out of you right now.” 

The statement caught you completely off guard. You looked over at him, eyes wide, and tried to keep your cool at the sexy smirk on his face. God, he was so fucking attractive. 

You blinked once, twice, a third time, “What?” 

His smile grew at your flustered state, “I have great taste in women, and I’d flirt with you if I could. So I’m saying you’re definitely a catch. And totally out of Art’s league.” 

You licked your lips. Subconsciously, “I’m pretty sure that was flirting.” 

“Was it?” He didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed, “Oops.” 

You ran your finger over the rim of your wine glass, trying to think of something to say. You came up empty. You were married- to this man’s childhood best friend. To the love of your life. He shouldn’t be flirting with you. And you definitely shouldn’t be enjoying it. 

“There you are! I was starting to worry.” Art’s voice broke the tense silence, and you turned around to watch him making his way to you with a smile. Then he spotted Patrick and his smile dropped as his face filled with recognition, “You- what the hell are you doing here?” 

You opened your mouth to speak, to explain and mediate the situation, but the dark-haired man beat you to it. 

“Your pretty little wife invited me.” He said, which was probably the worst thing he probably could’ve chosen. You internally buried your face in your hands. 

Art’s jaw clenched and his eyes lit up. It took you a moment to realize that the expression was anger. Honestly, it took you by surprise. It was extremely rare to see him angry, and never was it directed at you. And though he was looking at Patrick, you were terrified that in this instance it was. 

“Let me explain.” You immediately choked out, clutching your empty wine glass like a lifeline, “I really just thought that-” 

“She thought you missed me and wanted us to reconnect. As a birthday surprise. Isn’t that sweet?” Patrick butted in, throwing an arm over your shoulders. Art looked ready to murder someone (probably the tennis player holding you), “I doubt it was easy contacting me, but she managed. All for you.” 

You laughed nervously, ducking your head, “Well, that’s not-” 

“Let go of her.” Art demanded. His voice was cold and dangerous. Possessive. It made something twitch in your core. Oh, you liked that. 

The brunette didn’t hesitate to do as he was told, holding his hands up in surrender, “My bad, man. I just feel like we’re already such close friends from hanging out together. Don’t you think so?” 

The last part was directed at you, and Patrick nudged you. You gave him an incredulous look. 

The charming, sweet man you’d just been talking to was gone. He was replaced by a cocky, near-disrespectful antagonist who was trying to egg your husband into some kind of altercation. And he was using you as the bait. 

You couldn’t lie that you were frustrated, but it did feel a bit nice to be in an almost tug-of-war between the two men. You liked being an object of affection or desire. 

“You should head inside, baby.” Art spoke to you, though his furious gaze never left Patrick, “Our guests will wonder where the hosts went. I’m gonna talk to Patrick for a minute.” 

You’d be damned if you told him no. Even though this situation felt like a mess that was definitely all your fault. Damn you for inviting Patrick. Damn him for being so captivating. And damn Art for loving you so much that the sight of another man touching you made him see red. This entire thing was like a whirlwind. 

“Okay…” You whispered, moving towards your husband and the house. You gave Patrick a small smile, hoping to convey your thoughts to him. Please don’t hurt him- he’s my world. Then you stopped at Art’s side and placed a hand on his bicep, “I’m sorry if this was a bad idea. I just wanted to make your birthday special, is all. I didn’t mean to fuck it up.” 

He finally looked at you, just long enough to give you a loving smile and a shake of his head, “You didn’t ruin anything. I’m so proud of you for doing all this for me. Don’t worry.” 

Then he kissed you, only to stop and pull away, “Is that- were you smoking with Patrick?” 

You sucked on your teeth and nodded, “Yes, a little. I’m sorry. I just-” 

But then he was kissing you again, hard and needy. Like he wanted to fuck you right then and there. Your face burned bright red, and you could feel Patrick’s eyes on the two of you. Art had never acted like this in all the time you knew him. But right now, within thirty seconds of being around his old friend, he was putting on a show to prove that you were his. 

You belonged to him. And he wanted Patrick to know it. 

You really, really fucking liked this. 

When he pulled away, you felt dizzy. From both the kiss and the wine you’d downed. You barely had time to take a breath before he was lightly patting your cheek and sending you inside. You managed to take a look at the two men before rejoining the party. They just stared at each other, like they were in a standoff. 

It was unbelievably hot. 

As you went back to your guests, lips still tingling, only one thought was coming to you. 

You wondered how long you could keep Patrick around, just to see what it would do to your precious husband. 

#challengers #challengers movie #challengers 2024 #art donaldson #art donaldson x reader #art donaldson x you #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig x you #challengers fic #challengers fanfic #art donaldson x patrick zweig #challengers x reader #challengers x you #art donaldson x reader x patrick zweig #tashi duncan #charly writes!!