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xwesley · 1 year

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tyler lawrence gray. he/him. cis male. › spotted at the met steps , wesley lafleur , most likely listening to hysteria by muse with their airpods pro . the twenty one year old gained quite a reputation , known to be - impulsive yet + adventurous to anyone who knows them . you'll easily spot them when you hear about the loud banging of the drums at ungodly hours , a laptop with deleted history and secrets , green eyes gazing into the sunset , snorting lines off your cellphone as your agent urgently calls you , followed by toy boy by moschino . latest nepoupdates article talks about wesley lafleur rumored to be the reason behind the divorce of uppereast side’s favorite couple after sleeping with both of them , but i guess any reputation is good reputation .

basic stats ;

⟶ full name: wesley frederique lafleur kapone ⟶ nicknames: usually just goes by wesley or wes ⟶ three things he likes: people who smell good and have general good hygiene, profiteroles, making fun of people from reality tv shows ⟶ three things he dislikes: dirty fingernails, being alone with his thoughts, instigators ⟶ gender: cis male ⟶ height: 5 ‘ 10 ⟶ age: 21 ⟶ birthday: august 18, 2001 ⟶ zodiac: leo sun, aries moon, capricorn ascendant ⟶ right handed or left handed: left handed ⟶ eye color: emerald green, looks light hazel depending on the lighting ⟶ hair color: light brown ⟶ piercings and tattoos: a cartilage piercing on his left ear, usually covered by his hair, earlobe piercing on that same ear, no tattoos ⟶ languages spoken: french ( native tongue ), spanish and english ⟶ sexuality / romantic orientation: homosexual / homoromantic ⟶ place of birth: marseille, france ⟶ last five songs listened to: trust in you by the offspring, if i’m james dean, you’re audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens, shadow moses by bring me the horizon, i’m not okay ( i promise ) by my chemical romance, faint by linkin park ⟶ five aesthetics: black nail polish and golden rings, a laptop with constant deleted history, a flirtatious smile, turning up your music loud emo music to drown out your heavy thoughts, smudged eyeliner and dilated pupils after a crazy night ⟶ character inspo: harlan briggs from wolf pack, ian gallagher from shameless, effy stonem from skins, even bech næsheim from skam ( og skam )

background story ;

wesley was born in the french city marseille to french parents lisa kapone and alain lafleur, five minutes after his twin sister ( wanted connection ). his father was heir of lafleur lounges ( basically hotel resorts and lounges similar to a french version of hilton hotels ), while his mother was miss france in 1999 and a well known fashion designer ( the vera wang of europe, if you must ). him and his sister were born into a lot of money, practically a golden spoon in his mouth, spoiled to the core. anything he wanted, he received, and shortly after the twins were born, his parents got married, basically those parents that are head over heels for each other, an envy worthy love story with golden twins – they were the it family in europe, that rich, opulent family in the public eye that everyone wanted to know

his childhood was anyone’s wet dream. he was rich, he was spoiled, and his parents loved him more than anything in this world, that much was evident, and for the first few years of his life, wesley was a happy kid. around the time he was seven years old however, he began showing unusual signs

! tws for very brief mentions of self mutilation, please skip over this if it triggers you, your safety comes first ! the first time he showed a sign that perhaps not everything was okay for him was in his classroom, at not even eight years old. without thinking about it, wesley stuck his finger inside a sharpener and sharpened off nearly the entire nail from his index finger along with his skin. when his mother rushed to pick him up and asked him why he would do that, his exact response was “i don’t know, i just wanted to feel something, i’m sorry”

it was an emotional day, but after making sure he didn’t seriously damage his finger, his mother turned a blind eye and pretended like wesley’s actions were normal, never telling his father the real reason behind what happened to his finger, and claiming one of his classmates accidentally slammed the door against it. wesley never debunked his mother’s lie, and never really spoke of it. it was a topic they both knew about, but neither one of them bought it up ever again

for the remainder of that year and the next, things were okay, for the most part. it’s mostly him, his sister and his mother, or him, his sister and his nanny whenever his mother couldn't be around, considering her job. his father however, is barely present. by the time wesley is nine is when he unintentionally catches his father cheating through listening in on a phone call. not sure what to do with this information, he doesn’t know if he should tell his mother or not. really, he doesn’t have to decide, because soon enough, his mother catches his father in the act and it just turns into a huge argument

that happy, perfect family they once were is no longer there. his mother forgives his father, but things are never the same again. wesley didn’t understand why she forgave him for what he did, but really, it was just for the appearance, for the sake of keeping the family together and, because she had too much to lose. by the time he’s ten, they move to the states in an attempt to patch things up, but it only gets worse from that point on

wesley’s father is never around, and, as a way to cope, his mother turns into one of those wine moms that spends her day daydrinking with her group of friends and taking valium and xanax, quitting fashion altogether and living off the fortune they've already created. it’s like his mother is there, but it’s like she’s also not really there. wesley’s form of coping is through music, mostly the drums

soon enough, wesley learns to take care of himself, as his mother grows more and more detached from his life. in a mansion filled with fast cars, work staff and anything anyone could ever dream of, wesley has never felt more alone

his early pre teen years, literally age twelve, is when he begins to realize that there might be something wrong with him. he doesn’t know what it is, but he realizes he hates being alone with his own thoughts. it gets too loud, it’s too dark, so he attempts to do everything in his power to try and distract himself, but it’s easier said than done. his mind is already a dark place, but soon enough, it becomes even darker

! tws for overdose, death, self harm, mental illness and baker act for the next two bullets, please skip over this if it triggers you, your safety comes first ! one day, when he comes back from school, his sister is at a friends house, so he does his usual routine but his mother never comes out of her room, clearly drunk to ask him how his day was. when entering her room, he notices she’s sound asleep, or at least, this is what he thinks. fast forward a good five hours and wesley decides to try and wake her up. finding her unresponsive, he immediately calls 911, only to be told that his mother passed away from an overdose. with the amount of pills and alcohol that she mixed together, her body just couldn’t take it. obviously, wesley’s father, and his sister, rush back home, the first time he’s seen his father in over three weeks, they just mourn together. that day, wesley was never really the same person again

the day of her funeral, right after, wesley finds himself in the bathroom, angry with himself. why didn’t he walk in sooner? why did it take him so long to realize? why is it all his fault? his thoughts consume him, one thing leads to another, and he finds himself punching the bathroom mirror, over, and over, and over again. to not get too into detail, his father hears him having a break down, walks in, and immediately calls the police on wesley when he see’s the condition his hand is left in. this is the first time he was ever baker acted, he was involuntarily admitted for five days. during this period, he officially gets diagnosed with bipolar disorder with mostly psychotic manic episodes, gets put on abilify ! end of tws !

as much as he hates it, it does help, for the most part. his father becomes a hundred times more present in his life, practically watching him like a hawk, making sure he takes his meds, but he can’t help but feel like there’s something missing in his life. like there’s some hole in his chest that he can’t seem to fill, but he can damn well try

his teenage years consist of him coming out of his shell and trying just about everything, from narcotics, to alcohol, to first times, you get the idea. he’s quick to realize that he gets a lot male attention, and he uses that to his advantage. hooks ups and partaking in drug use become a frequent thing for him, and by the time he’s around fourteen is when he starts building his social media platform

it’s funny how easily it comes to him. he posts pictures on instagram and immediately starts gaining attention because of his looks. this, during the years, opens doors for him. it starts off with modeling gigs, then sponsorships, then a few commercials, until he’s landing small movie roles, extra roles in tv shows, and finally, permanent character roles on both, before he’s even of legal age

his coping mechanism is narcissism and narcotics, or 'nn' as he calls it. it’s just so easy to act like he’s better than everyone else when he couldn’t hate himself more, despite the countless thirsty comments on his posts, those people just don’t know him. he manages to make a name for himself in the industry, leaving his past behind him, but… it can really only be so long before it all catches up to him

headcanons ;

wesley tends to bury up his childhood traumas. from his cheating father, to his mothers death, to the time he got baker acted – he keeps this side of himself hidden. in a way, he wants people to believe that he’s perfect in every sense of the word, when his mind is really a crippling mess. that’s why his hair is so big and curly, because it’s full of secrets

he hasn’t taken his medication in over two years already and he never wants to take it again. it helps him, but he hates feeling like he has to rely on something to be ‘normal’ like everyone else. as long as no one knows about his personal life, he’s more than fine with that

he blames himself for his mother’s death. it’s honestly one of his biggest regrets and childhood trauma’s, knowing that if maybe he had realized sooner, something could have been done. he replays that image over and over again in his head and he hates it, it’s something that genuinely scarred him

he’s one of those people that you would never even remotely imagine has the conditions that he has. he’s so cynical, it’s scary how easily he can convince you that he lives a perfect, envious lifestyle

he’s like… a whore. anything to get his mind off shit. he loves attention, whether it be negative or positive. maybe it's the attention he lacked growing up, but he just wants to feel valid in whatever way possible

this is a huge secret of his, but at around the age of nineteen, he did some camboy shit on a dare. the only problem with this is that he really enjoyed the attention he received from this and he kind of? low key continues to do it. he wears a mask, so no one knows it’s him, but the desperate, thirsty comments are such a stroke to his already inflated yet damaged ego. he can’t help that he loves the validation strangers give him, and if no one knows it’s him, what’s the harm?

his hobbies ( or job description ) consists of playing the drums, modeling, acting, posting pictures, and secretly, getting behind his webcam for thirsty people online ( you know where this is going ). he has a youtube account in which he posts drum covers ( literally think like matt mcguire and tobines on youtube ). he’s a good drummer, takes it as a stress reliever, just banging on shit if he’s had a rough day

deep down inside, wesley knows that he has a problem. he’s very well aware of that fact, but he stopped going to therapy and getting genuine help when he was of legal age. his father can’t force him anymore and he refuses to let anyone know just how dark his thoughts really are

has a huge scar across his knuckles from where he punched the mirror repeatedly that day, but tells people it’s from a fight he got into ages ago, shows off about it and all, but if people really only knew the truth

he just wants to be loved secretly, but a part of him feels like he’s not worthy of shit, so meaningless sex, flings, and drugs it is. i genuinely don’t think there’s a single person that knows him for him, because he thinks that if he ever shows this side of himself, no one would ever want to stick around, it’s so much easier to just detach yourself

coke problem? most definitely. that’s awful for bipolar disorder, but he’s an idiot, so what else can even be said in regards to this

he hates being alone with his thoughts, which is why he enjoys partying so much. he’ll go to three after parties once the party is over, just wants to have a good time, turn up the music to drown out just how depressed he really is

he really enjoys working out. it keeps his mind occupied, he likes the idea of having a nice body. kind of overly obsessed with his looks as well, because secretly, he kind of feels like him being attractive is the only thing he has going for him, hence the camboy stuff, hence the influencer status

he has a bunny he named honey bunny, he impulsively bought him after getting stoned out of his mind and named him equally as stoned. he loves this bunny with his entire life, definitely his emotional support animal

constantly paints his nails black, doesn’t like any other color, will wear black eyeliner when going out to parties, honestly believes that clothes shouldn’t have a gender, just does whatever he wants

he really loves music that can be considered emo. bands like sleeping with sirens, asking alexandria, my chemical romance, falling in reverse, etc, have gotten him through some really hard times. definitely an emo boy at heart, even if he doesn’t give off the ‘vibe’

huge leo energy. you will feel his presence as soon as he walks into a room. loves and hates himself and can be a big cry baby so again, typical leo energy

regarding the rumor on his app, it’s 100% true. he really came in between a ten year marriage, without any solid reason behind it. the worst part of all is that he isn’t even romantically or sexually attracted to females at all, but he enjoyed the attention and company of the wife of the man he was hooking up with, so he figured that if he slept with the man, he might as well sleep with her too. like go back to therapy man, you have issues

he has freckles all over his face but is actually pretty insecure about this. anytime he’s about to do a photoshoot, he asks the make up artist to cover up his freckles. he doesn’t like them, at all

his next mental breakdown is long overdue, but lets see how long he’s ‘okay’ for. sociopath energy, he will break down crying and then look in the mirror and pose with tears running down his cheeks... like bye lmao

wanted connections ;

i bet i can’t remember you… no, i actually really can’t remember you: this is a messy connection, but give me a guy he drunkenly gave a blowjob to at a party and genuinely cannot recall doing it. your muse probably remembers it but wesley? watch him go damn that’s crazy… who are you again?

you can’t stand me you say? then sit on my face: ahh, the i hate you so much but we always end up sleeping together connection. someone who really can’t stand him yet they end up having sex anyways. watch his narcissistic ass go ‘you love me’ ( no you’re annoying af )

why are we friends? look at the shoes you’re wearing: very very unlikely friends, friends who have no idea how they even ended up becoming friends, but are friends anyways, watch him tell this unfortunate soul all his gay adventures

you’re the most irritating person i’ve ever met: someone who genuinely can’t stand him whatsoever. at all. not even a little bit. it’s very easy to hate him because he’s the worst so i don’t even blame this person

i hate that i don’t hate you: an unrequited crush. an unfortunate soul who likes him but he’s just the worst. he’s also the stupidest person ever, so he would be completely oblivious to this crush as well

let’s talk shit about everyone in the room: besties who trash talk everyone, no one is free from the mouth of these two. watch someone walk in with sweats and get roasted for absolutely no reason at all

or, we can brainstorm!

birthchart ;

#nepofm.intro #death tw #overdose tw #mental illness tw #hospitalization tw #drug use tw #mentions of self mutilation/self harm tw #lmk if i missed a tw tbh

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tench · 2 years

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Reading tags under my wip and honestly I have a little rant nobody has to read

I really don't know how you can like the current Warcraft lore. Like, for as long as I remember, wow writing was literally "living will envy the dead (and thank god they killed half of my favorutes in the first years, rip two of them who survived), but maybe it is a prime example of growing up after the new status quo was installed? A character is forbidden to be relevant more that a half of the expansion and everything must be sacrificed for the status quo, which stagnation and segregation". I mean in a depressive way it can be related to fow for example Luke from the latest Star wars trilogy was written. In this type of storytelling you can not have new heroes be created without violently putting down your old ones. But the way oldies, for example Arthas, Sylvanas went from compelling characters created around certain ideas, as "corruption of power and how even the "nicest" of people given unchecked reign within the system can turn out to be radical assshats and go violently autocratic" and "retaking the power from your abuser and turning it against them even if "it is too late for you you are already only shadow of your former self", later down the line turned into almost tumblr like typical american comics bullshit like "my son never did anything wrong in his life, it was all the squids that were stolen by us from one dead racist. And that woman is bad, but it's a given, she's like dead and sexy and the Horde need to be doing war crimes. Oh wait no, she has no agency either". The Horde treatment btw is very poorly going with them wanting Thrall to be that pure Moses like figure and as they were actively putting him on a pedestal, they could not make him be associated with the Horde politics as they needed you know, "a baddie" leading "the bad faction". And so they made Thrall at best in his "white coat" on his hight horse to absolutely helpless and complacent. The writers... seem to have something to say about left politicians I assume. Also how every fucking time it is either outside force or "Horde doing the thing again". There is a reason why I am going back to Warcraft 3 and not like WoW classic or Lich king, though I had a tone of fun playing the mmo.

#should I even tag it as Warcraft?#idk

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thenewdeadseascrolls · 2 months

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Judges 9: 34-38. "The Disappointment."

Wherever there is a successful toadie there are the persons he put down, ridiculed, made fun of and persecuted. In our culture they are transgender persons. Every success of our current toads, the Republican Party depends on their ability to persecute trans persons.

Transgender persons are members of the human community and medical science has nearly perfected gender reassignment, so there are no reasons why society can't do everything it can to get along with, support, understand, and turn the transgender community into an asset.

So in addition to doing what is best for society by integrating legally required protected classes into the mainstream, the process forces screw ups and fuckups like the Republicans out of power. Two party systems are frowned upon by the Torah and especially the Melachim which states they are a strain on the people, so protection of protected classes solves many of society's problems.

In the previous frame we discussed sentience. In spite of the fact sentient populations are the goal of the Torah, there are states higher still than this, and this is explained by what is called a company. Companies consist ofpersons who are capable self-governing their passions for the purposes of refuging others.

Toadies gather to spread manure about other people and legalize persecution. In the next frame, Abimelek, the King of Toadies has to face the music after the kingdom rebels.

Like his opposition, he hides in the field but instead of mounting a proper defense, he makes things worse by spreading lies in four directions. He is in an utterly enenviable position because instead of volunteering reforms to the people he is called out, and for this he will likely be castrated:

34 So Abimelek and all his troops set out by night and took up concealed positions near Shechem in four companies.

35 Now Gaal son of Ebed had gone out and was standing at the entrance of the city gate just as Abimelek and his troops came out from their hiding place.

36 When Gaal saw them, he said to Zebul, “Look, people are coming down from the tops of the mountains!”

Zebul replied, “You mistake the shadows of the mountains for men.”

37 But Gaal spoke up again: “Look, people are coming down from the central hill,[c] and a company is coming from the direction of the diviners’ tree.”

38 Then Zebul said to him, “Where is your big talk now, you who said, ‘Who is Abimelek that we should be subject to him?’ Aren’t these the men you ridiculed? Go out and fight them!”

Before we analyze the Gematria we have to define some of the topography mentioned above.

A mountain top "unlocks the box", it is the beginning of revolution. The Gematria says mountain tops are 770, "movement, sweat." Sweat means one is getting ready to shout the Shema, ie, to realize one is an independent unique person who deserves to be free.

Persons who are not men but are shadows of mountains, like the Mormons are people are those who complain all day long they can't freely oppress others. The number and density of their ridiculous arguments as to why they should be able to do this are those omnidirectional arguments mentioned above, they do not lead anywhere.

The central hill is Sinai, the diviner's tree is the Burning Bush, and The Big Talk came from God.

This ties all everthing in these stanzas above to the conversation between God and Moses, who was a defunct prince, and then Moses and the Pharaoah, the King of Toads as to the proper fate of the Israelites who were getting sweatier by the minute as the Seder became iminent.

The similarities to the needs of Jews to be done with the bullshit of the Mormons forever and ever cannot be ignored.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 34: Abimelek set out by night. The Value in Gematria is 4048, דאֶפֶסדח‎‎, dafesdah, "A printer."

Moses is the only Printer in Judaism. False printers are not allowed.

v. 35: The Son of Slaves stood by the entrance of the city gate. The Value in Gematria is 7013, zapsag, "the stripe of 13." The answer to false printers is presentation at age 13, the Course outlined in the Torah.

v. 36: “You mistake the shadows of the mountains for men.” The Value in Gematria is 9968, טטו‎ח‎, "clean."

To be clean is to consume Kosher food, food that is washed and prepared properly. One can't just talk to anyone on the street about the Torah, one must discern when and how the Words of Moses are applied and this cannot be done around certain parties as certain parties are nasty and digusting.

v. 37: A company is coming. The Value in Gematria is 5744, הז‎דד‎‎, the zedd, "the party side of the flank."

Once everything is purified, then everyone eats. The goal of the Torah and this Shopper's Guide to Jewish Identity is to create a Kosher guest list to a party or Company that can lead mankind to Mashiach. Which list one wants to be on- the pure or impure- will always be a choice.

v. 38: Go out and fight! A company is not formed just for the purposes of opposition. This creates party politics. Companies that consume Kosher ingredients organize for holy purposes and these all lead to Mashiach.

The Value in Gematria is 12019, יבאֶפֶסאט, ibafesat, "You will be disappointed".

The reason the Torah was written and the Shema after that is because mankind is incapable of devising the ethical system contained within by itself. We need to the Words of Moses superimposed upon our minds until the superconcsious self is able to take over and participate in civil societies alongside other sophisticated persons.

Failing this, we will be what we are, modern men who live in highrises instead of caves, with missiles instead of clubs. Our disappointment with the human race over this is the key to our salvation.

The cure for disappointment lies in the ways we target the efforts of our governments. Governments are measured by their successes in the following areas.

Property ownership.

Security of basic services.

Citizenship and personal liberties.

Interstate trade.

Sustainability.

Individuals and governments that stray from these five areas do not succeed and are in fact in violation of the Torah as well. Toads who depend on popularity within some groups and the persecution of others are in clear violation of all that is considered acceptable by sane and spirited persons and viable systems of government. As the Gematria says they are worth fighting for.

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specialops · 1 year

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He couldn’t remember exactly what had happened—icy blues fluttering open and his head feeling as though he was hit by a ton of bricks. Trying to adjust to the new scenery around him, what he could remember was that he was out in the forest in the Soviet Union—doing his duties as a spy to get all of the information he could from Volgin and the Cobra Unit—and taunting John for fun at this point, as they had…something going on. However, that was only between the two of them.

Shadow Moses was absolutely unfamiliar territory. Not realizing he had been sprung into the future, the young soldier cracked his neck as he got to his feet—checking and confirming that he had his weaponry in check, atleast. It was cold—though being from the USSR, Adam had been through the harsh Russian winters. This was nothing for him.

The gunshot from his revolvers were loud; bodies falling to the ground with a heavy THUD. Accused of infiltration—unsurprising. Shooting other soldiers had become habit—and he was uninteresting in doing any talking. What would he say, anyway? They wouldn’t believe that he had no idea where he was—he’d be killed on the spot.

Revolvers spin before being put away; slinking away quietly to avoid any more altercations. He needed to find out where he was, and how to get out of here. Keeping an eye on how different everything looked—some things felt so…modern? It was unclear, but he had to focus on getting out of Shadow Moses.

Gaze glanced over—and he could see him. Familiar hair, facial structure—he didn’t take into the account that the other man was much younger quite yet. Glancing around himself quickly—no one was around except the two of them. In which relief had washed over him ( though still on guard ), he rushed his way over to Snake, “John—“ arms wrapped tightly around his neck; an embrace—affection only show in during private affairs. A deep breath taken—non hostile for now, Adam pulled back, scanning his features—

No eyepatch. Younger features. He looked like John, but—

Brows furrowed and he let go; steps taken back; revolvers spinning in his hands after removing them from his holsters and pointing them directly at the other. He never felt like such an idiot—but he sure did in this moment. “You’re not Naked Snake.” Then why did he look like him? “Who are you?”

// @futurespacess

#verse. — | 𝙵𝚄𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙿𝚂.#𝙲𝙾𝙳𝙴 𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴: 𝚁𝙴𝚅𝙾𝙻𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙾𝚃. — | adamska ivonov.#futurespacess #david I am SO SORRY lamo #*lmao

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feversxmirrors · 2 years

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unorganized thoughts on yesterday as i drink my black coffee and sit with all the memories:

- alex g is just.. he's fucking incredible. he was side stage most of the time before his set and i couldn't stop glancing over at him and the band and he had this stupid lil bucket hat on and they all chugged a bottle of wine together and talked to tv girl a lot and it was just so cute. i cried during gretel, i think he noticed lol. i really hope he plays in a regular venue here soon bc i need the full experience sooo soso bad

- tv girl was so fucking good!! pantyhose and cigarettes out the window were probably my favorites they played, but i would absolutely kill to see not allowed. regret chugging an agua fresca (that i paid mfing $15 for smfh) and hard seltzers beforehand though bc i had to leave 2/3rds in to run to the bathroom or i would have pissed myself before alex came on but i kinda wish i just pissed myself haha

- speaking of that i'm glad i was buzzed when huddy was playing bc.. yeah self explanatory

- i adore we the kings live, that was probably one of the most fun sets and i felt like i was back at warped tour when they were on

- anthony mfing greeeeeen <3 i don't know much saosin (more a circa and tsoaf and solo listener) but goddamn they were great. makes me mad that they were so early in the day on the main stages bc i would have replaced their set time w taking back sunday's set time fr, they deserved it w how hard they went

- i was so happy we caught adtr's set, we weren't planning to but it was a huge nostalgia bomb and they know how to fucking work a crowd, and they played all my old favorites

- okay.. major thing. major. i of course was so fucking elated to see bright eyes live for the first time when i've been waiting to see conor my whole life pretty much. i cried mad during their set, i felt the biggest part of my heart soar when they played easy/lucky/free. but i fucking hate that it was in this setting. i felt so fucking bad for him, for the festival people treating him like shit, for the crowd treating him like shit. he was so fucked up during the set that it was majorly concerning. i've never seen him in an angry kind of drunk. it broke my heart to see him look like that, to see him forget the words and slurring his speech so bad and for being so self deprecating and mad. the whole time during and after i just really fucking hoped he was okay. it makes me feel selfish to hope that i can see them again in a different setting but like.. i can't think of that being my bright eyes experience at the same time yanno.

- on a brighter note, FUCKING BMTH!!! i want to kiss oli sykes holy shit they were so cool their set slapped so haaard (even though nitpicky but i wish they played more older jams). i think jacs and i pretty much held the energy of 100 ppl bc no one moved around us or jammed at all and it was disappointing we got stuck around ppl waiting for paramore and mcr but i didn't even care bc i was having the Time of my Life jamming to shadow moses. this is sempiternal!!!

- ohhhh paramore, beloveds, babies, angels, precious souls. i have so many things to say but i can't even comprehend how great they are. everything about them. hayley and zac just know that you are a huge reason i am the person i am today and i am forever grateful for that <3

- lastlyyy THE GARDEN!!! i'm so sad we didn't see the first half of their set but i went full on bonkers when we got to them. the pit was so fucking good and i love them all so so much thank you for ending the night on the perfect note!!!

#ace types #this is a doozy apologies lol #but wwwy was definitely an experience (•:#also on another note this fest was probably the most safe and organized fest i have ever been to and i'm very grateful they did that

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stardustnfreckles · 3 years

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To celebrate the DeanCas100k on ao3 here's a list of my all-time favourite Destiel fanfictions:

CANON VERSE

A turn of the earth Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Early seasons!Dean keeps meeting Cas at the most random moments, till he isn’t anymore... Definetly a must read.

In the shadow of your wings

Set after the S11 finale. Dean kinda breaks Cas’ heart. Because sometimes he can be thick SOB. The Cas finds a new shiny and witty italian boyfriend and Dean’s not happy about it. and now Sam is missing, Mary is back and Dean has a mixed bag of feelings he has to deal with. Probably my favorite canonverse ever.

Like moses and batman and James Dean dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas.

A masterpiece in characterization by saltyfeathers. I loved everything, The dialogues, the flashbacks, the way Dean and Cas emotions are portrayed. There’s angst and internalized homophobia but also confort and IT IS JUST SO GOOD OK?

The best bang for your buck It’s not like Castiel knows who this GotImpala67 person is. There’s no personal information listed on their profile. Except that they’re male, thirty-seven, from Kansas and, apparently, they like inserting things inside themselves.

Cas plays dumb even tho he really is not and I love him for it. Dean is the kind of buyer who leaves detailed reviews of the products he buys (which is the best kind if you ask me) I love the writer’s style and their sense of humor. It’s short although I never get tired of re-reading this one. Also Bring up the deep & Till the juice runs from the same author are with mentioning.

Kisses by sunflowers beds by fanforfanatics & Watched by K_K_TiBal

This two fics have a on thing in common: At the end of both you’ll be asking yourself how can less than 5k hurt you so much?

I cried, then I smiled and cried some more. This fics will crush you in the best way possible.

Take me home country roads The most IC Deamon!Dean I’ve ever read. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.

What’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles aka queen of post S15 fix-it fics

That black dog ache A simple case turns Dean upside down as he attempts to deal with the effects of a particularly strange love spell.

The perfect gift Castiel has a big problem concerning Dean... thankfully, Sam is always around to help

Really short Crack!Fic about Cas being clueless and adorable.

So says the sword by komodobits

Actually I suggest to go on their ao3 profile and read EVERYTHING.

The profet must die

Dean starts reading Chuck’s book out of curiosity and ends up having a epiphany about his apparently not so much platonic relationship with a certain angel of the lord.

A room of one’s own All Dean wants is a little privacy. Cas doesn't understand.

It mostly smut with a bit of healthy angst and great amount of humor.

My Roots Take Flight After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

Reverse!Verse set in season 4. It’s interesting to watch their relationship develop even if the roles are reversed.

The hands that bind me Dean is struggling with adjusting back into the civilized world after a year of fighting for his life in Purgatory. He's going to need some angelic assistance reining in his darker impulses.

If your’re into BDSM/Sub!Dean/Dom!Cas/Hurt/Confort/Dark themes then that’s the fic for you.

What has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? Dean is an octopus 🐙 and it’s weird but also kinda sweet.

Cuckoo and nest For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. it puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

Established relationship/ they’re really bad at communication/ fluff / hurt confort

Put up your dukes Dean can't sleep. Cas offers to tire him out.

Along my restless palms Ever since Cas started staying in the bunker, Dean’s been having these crazy dreams—dreams that feature him and Cas in absurd, tawdry scenarios like something out of a filthy paperback. Dean chalks it up to exhaustion, or some monster messing with his head, anything to ignore the real cause: Cas in his personal space, in various states of undress, and, wow, way more muscular than Dean would’ve expected. But if it’s just physical lust that’s the cause, then that’s an easy fix, right? No big deal. There’s definitely nothing else that his subconscious is trying to tell him. Absolutely not.

last but not least Pretty much anything by xylodemon. The atmosphere and the way characters are portrayed are *chef kiss* There are a lor of case fics and they really feels like actual episodes from supernatural just way less omophobic and more fun.

#deancas100k #Destiel recs #Deancas rec list #destiel fanfic #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester

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1rintooru · 3 years

Text

Little Agreements

Pairing: teacher! Sugawara Koshi x gn! reader

Themes: fluff, enemies to lovers

Word Count: 2k one-shot

Warnings: light swearing - that’s all!

Summary: You and Sugawara are rival teachers at a reputable elementary school. Even though you can hardly stand each other, your students have started shipping you together and it’s just awfully annoying! Little do they know, you’ve been keeping a secret from them the entire time.

a/n: teacher suga is good suga... this was so fun to write and purely self-indulgent - i can't get him outta my fat brain🥴 but enjoy anyways..!

You clicked your pen once. Twice. Three times. Perhaps to an outsider it would appear that you were annoyed – impatient even, but you knew it was nothing more than a habit, much like the restless tapping of your foot or improper care kept to personal belongings. You eyed the worn-down mathematics book that was currently being hastily shoved into a backpack, the spine barely keeping the pages glued together.

“Looks like you’re all set to go,” you proclaimed, putting down your pen and eyeing the student in front you. The boy beamed, yanking the zipper of his backpack shut and throwing it over his shoulder.

“Couldn’t have done it without ya, teach!”

You nodded and smiled appreciatively. You were flattered but you couldn’t take all the credit. The boy you were tutoring for a couple weeks now always claimed he didn’t care for school; you still remembered how he once told you that sports were ‘where it’s at’ – whatever that meant. However, the improved grades paired with the purple shadows under his eyes told you an entirely different story. He’d made his way to the door, his hand already grasping the handle before turning around, an impish grin plastered on his face.

“Even though you and Sugawara-sensei are cute together, we’re still gonna beat your butts!”

You bolted out of your seat and glowered at the young boy.

“Don’t you have other classes to tend to?”

He smirked at your chagrin.

“I’ll see ya around!” he shouted, sending you a quick a wave goodbye before finally leaving the room. You plopped back into your seat upon hearing the door close behind the student, rubbing your temple discontentedly.

Ah. Of course.

How could you forget the school speed quiz? It was an annual event that the school implemented three years ago as a means to motivate students and raise class scores. The idea was that a group of children would be chosen to represent their class and be quizzed on a variety of subjects – the questions becoming increasingly difficult as the game progressed. At the time you sneered at the idea and even complained to the school director that it would only waste funds and resources. Now you were glad that he didn’t listen to you, though he could have skipped laughing in your face. With that being said, the event was a double-edged sword. It made you incredibly happy and filled you with pride seeing students find the joy in learning again, but on the other hand it only exacerbated the teasing comments from the students. They adored seeing you two together and you never could quite wrap your head around it. After all, you and Sugawara were rivals.

Your eyes darted down to your wristwatch: fifteen minutes left until next period. Not a whole lot of time, but just enough to shotgun a coffee and have snack in the solace of the staffroom. You hurriedly tidied the mess on your desk, arranging everything to your liking for the next class before finally stepping out into the bustling commotion of the school hallway. Excited chitter-chatter and non-discreet gossip filled halls as you found yourself surrounded by young children. Each face was familiar and you could have assigned a name to every single one. Even the tall one with fluffy gray hair and gentle brown eyes with the recognizable birthmark.

Wait, no – that’s no child; that’s Sugawara.

He walked towards you with a pep in his step and a bright grin, parting the busy hallway like Moses as students stared at him slack-jawed and awestruck. He was the school celebrity, proven by the sheer number of students that called out to him as he passed – and he loved it. You tried to swerve around him, but it was surprisingly difficult to escape through a sea of grade schoolers.

Damn it, just when you were looking forward to that coffee!

“Here, like I promised.”

Sugawara’s voice rang clearly as he firmly pressed a stack of essays into your hands, the weight of the stack momentarily catching you off guard. Your eyes instinctively scanned the first page laying on top. As per usual, your students performed well in academic pursuits but that wasn’t what bothered you.

“Green glitter gel pen?” you teased, lifting an eyebrow questioningly.

His hazel eyes gleamed confidently. “Hey, we agreed that I would help grade assignments that you couldn’t catch up on – you never said I couldn’t use my colored pens!” He mirrored your teasing lilt before continuing. “Besides, from a psychological standpoint the color green is more uplifting and motivational than a harsh red.”

He wasn’t entirely wrong. You both had agreed that you would tutor his students in mathematics and sciences while he would help grade assignments to take some of the workload off your plate. But that didn’t make his claim any more convincing and it only made you roll your eyes disparagingly.

“That pseudo-science is why I’m the one tutoring your students.”

“Geez, point made Y/N!” he scratched his head embarrassedly, the other hand defensively creating a barrier between the two of you.

“Y/L/N,” you quickly corrected him.

Sugawara’s posture visibly deflated at the curtness of your words. As mature and gentle as he was, he had a tendency to have his heart on his sleeve. You felt a little guilty and even considered saying something to mince your words, but the opportunity was stolen from you as a group of young girls skipped past, snickering as they went.

“Oh my god, Y/L/N-sensei and Suga-senpai are flirting again!”

Your secure stance faltered as the unsuspecting comment hit you like a brick, nearly making you drop all your papers. Sugawara’s eyebrow quirked upwards, thoroughly amused by your loss of composure. You hoped that the heat you felt in your face couldn’t be seen from the outside as you gingerly smoothed out the folds of your sweater.

“Suga-senpai?”

Sugawara’s playful grin immediately dropped as he noticed the daggers you glared at him.

“Huh?! A-ah it’s not like I told them to call me that! It – it just kinda happened.”

Seeing him so flustered would normally have made you smile, but you weren’t going to give him any kind of reassurance. Besides, it would have only worked as ammunition for privy students stalking your conversation. So instead, you simply shook your head, an exasperated sigh just barely escaping from your pursed lips.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I have a coffee waiting for me – and you have recess duty, have you already forgotten? So, if you’ll excuse me.”

You gave him a patronizing poke on the shoulder as you moved past him, beelining towards the staffroom.

The two of you were so vastly different in your teaching methods. You took your work seriously and prided yourself in the academic success of your students – your class always scored extraordinarily well. You were stern but incredibly ambitious and dedicated to your craft. Sure, Sugawara was popular with the kids, but playing the role as best friend wasn’t going to help them pass their classes. You failed to understand why most of the schoolchildren were obsessed with you two being an intimate couple; even prior to the school speed quiz event the two of you were rivals. His laissez-faire teaching methods didn’t mesh well with your own – in fact, you resented them. That’s why it was akin to pouring salt into a fresh wound when each year your respective classes tied during the annual event.

You decided to ignore the thought. This year was going to be different.

****

Oh, how you loved being the one responsible for cleanup duty.

At least, that’s what you would say if it weren’t that you were the only one responsible for cleanup duty.

As you watched one of your students – a petite girl with long dark hair – collect a pile of dirt into a plastic dustpan, you began to wonder how Sugawara roped you into this. Again. You and him had a lot of agreements, for the sake of professionalism of course, but this was not one of them. The school day seemed to drudge on forever and you were not spared from any incessant comments, even in its final moments. Ironically, one of your pupils turned into somewhat of a teacher as they explained to you what ‘shipping’ and ‘OTP’ meant.

Why on earth would they consider you and Sugawara something like that?

You dismissed the remaining students after carefully examining the room. The floors were cleaned and the whiteboard was spotless, but the wastebasket hadn’t been emptied and the desk arrangement was crooked. It wasn’t exactly up to par with how you usually left the room, but you were no heathen and you noticed just how lethargic everyone was becoming.

You also needed to find a certain someone that deserved to be chewed out.

That certain someone was found in the school’s gymnasium, excitedly talking to the school volleyball team that was retiring for the night. The frustration you felt immediately melted once you saw how animated Sugawara became as you overheard his motivational tangent. His passion was infectious and easily fired up the young boys in yellow and blue jerseys listening to him.

Was this where Sugawara always disappeared off to?

It was a silly question, really. Seeing him zealously offer game strategies with the biggest grin on his face made the answer obvious. You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling awkward as all the children – and Sugawara – turned to face you. The boy you had tutored earlier today, now clad in a yellow jersey spoke first.

“Well teach, did ya know that Sugawara-sensei was a volleyball player in high school too? He was a setter, believe it or not!”

You could only stare dumbfounded as your eyes bounced back and forth between the braggadocious athlete and a proudly grinning Sugawara. The lack of response on your end began to unnerve the gray-haired man as the corners of his mouth began to twitch downwards and his eyes glossed over with doubt.

You shrugged, “I don’t really see it, honestly.”

The both of them gasped in unison. The young teen stared at you dumbstruck – his jaw would’ve hit the floor if it could, while Sugawara staggered backwards as if a spear had punctured him in the chest.

“She’s a tough cookie, Sugawara-sen–” the teen’s underhanded comment earned him a swift kick from his teacher.

“Well, I think it’s time to call it a night. How about we tidy up and retire for the evening?”

And just like that, Sugawara had roped you into another cleaning duty. Thankfully the volleyball team was still so fired up from his speech earlier that the tidying up went by remarkably fast. Eventually you and him stood alone in the building, after finally saying your goodbyes to the remaining kids.

He looked at you and cocked his head to the side, to which you nodded in response. Perhaps it was a simple unspoken agreement or maybe it was just a force of habit to head home together. Regardless, it was hard to imagine it any other way.

The cool autumn air greeted you the moment you stepped out of the gymnasium. Goosebumps pricked your skin as a crisp autumn breeze embraced you, sending a shiver down your spine. The sky had turned into a watercolor of fiery oranges and deep purples as evening drew closer. You glanced over to Sugawara, nestled in the layers of his scarf and his hands hidden in the pockets of his coat.

“Do you have regrets?”

Sugawara paused, brown and orange leaves twirled with the wind just short before his feet, but that wasn’t what stopped him. He was clearly perplexed by your question.

“Regrets?” He scrunched his nose as though the word itself repulsed him. He dug his hands deeper into the depths of his pockets and his features visibly softened as he pulled out a golden ring. It gleamed magnificently as the rays of the setting sun reflected off the band. Seeing him fit the ring snugly onto his finger prompted you to do the same, pulling out the velvet pouch that protected the ring within it. Sugawara smiled as he watched you slip the ring on, fondness etched into his features as he extended his hand towards you. You happily obliged and entangled your fingers in his.

“How could I ever have regrets with the life I have now?”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #sugawara koshi #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #selfmade

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writeroutoftime · 4 years

Text

power couple

pairing: tommy shelby x reader (requested by: anon)

summary: when michael and gina try to push everyone out of shelby company limited, you and tommy remind them who the real power couple of the family business is

warnings: swearing? (it’s peaky blinders, what can I say)

word: 1356

a/n: I know that this request has been floating around a bit, so I hope you enjoy my take on it. my hope was that the reader came across as a badass, but I’m nervous it comes across as kinda cringey. anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this story, and I like what I came up! please enjoy, stay safe, and have a lovely day!

oOoOo

Even after so many years, the people of Birmingham parted the streets for you and Tommy, just like the Red Sea parted for Moses. Royalty could be another way to describe the power the Shelby family name had – not that you would ever abuse your power. Everyone knew not to threaten the authority you and Tommy has as a couple. Well, almost everyone.

When you and Tommy entered the Garrison, you entered with your arms linked together. It was an equal share of power in your relationship; no one followed in the shadow of the other. You had been with the Shelby’s since the beginning and had ‘risen the ranks’ with Tommy as the company grew.

“Alright, let’s get this meeting started.” you said and gathered the attention of the room. “Let’s make this quick. I promised Charlie I’d be there for his violin concert, and I’m not going to let my baby down because you fucking lot can’t get along.”

While there was a laughter around the pub, they knew there was truth to your statement. Tommy chuckled as you settled against the bar, drink in his and your hand, before he started the meeting. It wasn’t until he gave Michael the floor that you gave your full attention, particularly worried at Gina’s smirk.

Michael began to explain a new business opportunity for the Shelby Company Limited and called for a restructure as well. It was thorough and seemingly legitimate, but you couldn’t get behind his justification. Eventually, Gina chimed in with her two cents. “It’s simple mathematics.” she stated.

“Is it now?” you asked sarcastically, though before you could continue, Tommy subtly squeezed your hand.

The next thing you heard Michael say shocked you even more. “…I will organize an expansion into America.”

Internally, you wanted to slap Michael, but instead you kept a cool exterior for the moment. Who did Michael think he was? After everything this family did for him, he wanted to organize a coup. After all that money he lost, and Tommy taking him back, he wanted to go back to America on another business venture. As Michael went into more detail, you caught Gina’s eye, and she offered you a proud smirk over her husband’s speech. In return, you stared her down and smirked yourself when she was the first to back down.

At the same time, Tommy remained uninterested and dissatisfied with Michael’s presentation. He looked around, sipped on his whiskey, and even lit you a cigarette, which you gladly accepted. Once Michael began to talk about the ‘new generation’ and what they could offer, you scoffed.

“Tommy, y/n, you both can still do the good work you’ve always wanted to. And you can be around for Charlie’s life and any other children you have.” How dare he make any remark about your lifestyle when he led a similar one, or on your parenting style.

Your anger continued to simmer as Michael addressed the other’s in the room, but it boiled when he got to Finn. There was no way that Finn would betray his family and galivant off to New York with Michael. Besides, if he did, it would almost definitely break your heart. Finn was like a brother to you – sometimes even a son – after you had been around nearly his whole life.

Gina then handed Michael a folder. “Here is my proposal.” he said. The smack of the papers against the table echoed throughout the almost silent room. “I will be managing director, and you can be non-executive chairman.” he told Tommy.

“And what about me?” you all but spat because you weren’t about to let Michael pushed you out of the company you had helped to scale.

Michael sensed the tension and chose his next words carefully. “There’s a spot for you too, y/n. Take a look at the future.” he said, now to both you and Tommy.

Tommy shared a look with you, and you nodded, your minds in sync. “It’s quite cold in here, Michael.” Tommy spoke as you accepted the proposal and promptly threw it into the fire, satisfied with the crackle as the flames destroyed Michael’s vision.

“Tell them the truth.” Gina injected, her eyes narrowed, as Tommy tried to move on to the next matter of business. “They can take it.” she mocked, then took a long drag of her cigarette.

Your eyes shifted expectantly towards Michael, as did Tommy’s. “Tell us the truth, Michael.” Tommy said calmly, though his voice was low and dangerous.

There was a tense pause before Michael looked between you and Tommy. “The Americans don’t want to deal with an old-fashioned backstreet razor gang. Those days are done.”

No one spoke at first after Michael’s profound statement. You heard Arthur shift, uncomfortably, in his chair, and the others in the room cast their eyes toward the ground. You walked towards Michael, and with each step, your heels reverberated throughout the room, menacingly, and you only stopped when you were mere inches from Michael’s face. “This backstreet razor gang made you who you are, Michael. You’d be nothing without us.” you snarled.

Before Michel or Gina could retort, a Lee burst into the pub, claiming that Barney had escaped. Tommy yelled at them to get him back, which left only you, Tommy, Michael, Gina, and Polly in the bar. Though, not before Arthur whispered to Michael fuck the Americans, and you gave your brother-in-law a smile and a nod of approval.

“I’m doing this for you, Tommy.” Michael said, ignoring everyone else in the room in a last-ditch attempt to save face. “It’s time, and you know it. Mum’s leaving, John’s dead, and Arthur needs help. Do you want y/n to meet a similar fate?” he asked as Tommy turned his back to Michael and leant against the fireplace. “You’ve fucked up one too many times.” he added as a low blow when Tommy didn’t respond.

Everyone, but you, flinched when Tommy threw a bottle of liquor into the fire and watched as the firer grew larger. There was a moment when you felt the heat that stifled the room, and it just wasn’t from the fire. Then, when Tommy turned back around, Michael shoved a blade in his face.

“Go on, cut me. Like the good old days. Or,” Michael proposed. “see this for what it is. A natural succession that must happen.” he pleaded with Tommy.

Tired of Michael’s bullshit, you stepped between him and your husband. “Listen here, Michael. Tommy and I gave you a place in this company, but you’ve betrayed us. Now, I’m glad you’re so worried about me, but you should be worried about yourself if you keep talking like that. Because us ‘razor gangs’ can still mess with you and your wife. You may be delusional enough to believe that you’re helping us, but don’t believe everything the Americans tell you. We’re family, Michael.” you said, feigning sweetness. “We know everything about you, and we can make your lives a living hell.” you threatened.

Tommy, proud of you and finally satisfied with Michael’s shocked expression, offered you his arm once more. “Don’t mess with me or my wife, again, and don’t be here when we come back.” Tommy spoke with finality.

As the pair of you left, you stopped next to Gina and stopped down to her level. “And you, tell your family”

“Let me guess.” she interrupted, bored. “Don’t fuck with the Peaky Blinders.”

“That’s right.” you responded condescendingly. “And don’t forget which couple holds the power in this company. Really, it’s just simple mathematics.” you said as you and Tommy began to walk towards the pub’s doors. “And wipe that smirk off your face, Michael.” you added even though his back was to you.

Michael and Gina’s confidence waivered as they watched you and Tommy saunter down the street, arms linked again. If they believed they could dethrone you and Tommy with the prospect of an American business expansion and money to keep your docile, they had another thing coming. You and Tommy ruled Small Heath, and you weren’t going to let anyone take that away from you.

#tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine

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missrkl · 3 years

Text

The Temple Chapter Three

Rachel felt the fire burning within her. A growing passion blazing like a fiery furnace. She wasn’t going to take this sitting down. Enough people had been lied to and hurt by the very same people preaching love, prosperity and peace. As the newspaper journalist once wrote about the place when placing a review on The Temple “like a bunch of quacks.” Although the journalist was talking about Adon’s Elysium language rather than the people themselves being quacks. Maybe they both meant it differently. Rachel didn’t like that. How dare the journalist make fun of Adon’s Elysium language, Tongues. It was a high privilege to learn to speak this language, in which Rachel herself was affluent in. Despite being angry about the segregation within The Temple, she was angry even more at those who dared to trash talk the place. She could trash talk the place because she came from there, but for an outsider to come in and trash the talk the place and it’s people without an ounce of understanding was just wrong. That was on a whole other level. Rachel felt the fire burning within her getting stronger. She was still here in the park with the gang, but now they were on the move. It was getting late and they needed to meet inside somewhere. Usually Ecclesiastes had a place. They followed him silently trudging through the park like a panther, voiceless, silent. This was their strength, they weren’t called The Voiceless for nothing. They trudged out of the park and walked down the road as different cars passed them by. The Temple’s meeting would have ended by now, and right by schedule the stragglers would soon be leaving the place. They always had eating after a meeting in the downstairs hall. One thing The Temple was good at was their impeccable timing. Schedules always ran on time, sermons always finished on point and in time, dance lessons, choir rehearsals always finished on time. Even the stragglers that left behind at the last moment always finished on time. Obedience to the highest degree. They were always obedient to their leaders, quick to listen and slow to speak, a trait of Adon, one that Rachel was proud of. Despite all the drama behind the scenes, there was many things Rachel knew was a divine privilege and something to thank Adon for. Like their sermons, highly theological, highly biblical and highly ethical, highly political, highly correct almost 99% of the time. Their training was also known for its highest quality that even outsiders wanted to join in but they couldn’t get in unless invited. It was rare for an outsider to make their way into their training. If there was one thing Rachel could boast about The Temple was the obedience of the people. Some people would argue that you couldn’t really blame the people, it was the leaders who made all the decisions, even in small group circles. It was very well controlled. Even friendships and social circles were highly controlled units, hence The Voiceless always remained voiceless.

They stood in the quiet darkness that shrouded The Temple as it was late. It was 930pm by now, the cleaners would be finished by 10pm. So they bided their time by sitting behind the wall, lurking in the shadows. Ecclesiastes had extra keys, they could use the downstairs hall without turning on the light, but relying on candles instead. They didn’t want to get caught. As they waited for the cleaners to leave, Rachel watched as Charles closed up. Charles was one of The Loyalists, he had been here a long time, his entire life in fact. Rachel watched Charles look around checking the place just before walking to get into his car and drive off. They waited a few minutes just in case he had forgotten something, but he didn’t come back. Ecclesiastes went up and opened the door and they all piled in as quiet as a mouse. Still silent they clambered down the stairs as silent as a cat’s furry paws hitting the carpet. They entered the lower hall and some of the gang went about taking out their candle sticks and candles and put them up in strategic places.

If there was one thing that Rachel was passionate about it was more than just about the segregation within the community, it was more and this something more was what Rachel was going to address the crowd this evening, after dinner. The people in charge of the food this evening took out their food they had stacked in their bags. Spaghetti, fried chicken, rice and beans, vegetable soup, bread and water. Something for everyone. Rachel sat on one of the chairs and tucked into her food. She wasn’t about to make small conversation just yet, she still felt the fire burning within her and it was burning so much that she knew if she didn’t speak it she herself would get burned. After dinner Rachel stood up at the front with Ecclesiastes by her side. Rachel raised her hand for the gang to become silent. Then Rachel spoke and said these words ““The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit. Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God. And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:3-8, 10-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

They had the Holy Spirit, they were obedient to Him, the Spirit of Adon. Since they had the Spirit of Adon they could not remain voiceless and shouldn’t be treated like they have nothing good to say, as if they had no fire burning within them, like The Elites. Despite their hypocrisy they too had The Spirit of Adon, it was just their flesh crowding his voice out.

Rachel had paused for effect as the people listened, then she continued “ “Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:12-14, 16-17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

They too were Adon’s children, they too were heirs to Christ, they too had their place in the kingdom and should never be treated as if they never did belong. Rachel continued ““Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:33-39‬ ‭NLT‬‬

They did belong Adon, they were created to bring him glory too, and nobody, nobody was going to push them out. As Rachel stepped down from the front of the crowd, Ecclesiastes decided to speak something and got up in front of the crowd. Ecclesiastes was also a dark skinned man, darker than Rachel, he was a black man with black hair and black roots. He was a man with strong physical structure, good solid build and muscles from all the physical training he had done growing up. This is what he said ““I looked long and hard at what goes on around here, and let me tell you, things are bad. And people feel it. There are people, for instance, on whom God showers everything—money, property, reputation—all they ever wanted or dreamed of. And then God doesn’t let them enjoy it. Some stranger comes along and has all the fun. It’s more of what I’m calling smoke. A bad business. Whatever happens, happens. Its destiny is fixed. You can’t argue with fate. The more words that are spoken, the more smoke there is in the air. And who is any better off? And who knows what’s best for us as we live out our meager smoke-and-shadow lives? And who can tell any of us the next chapter of our lives?”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭6:1-2, 10-12‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Ecclesiastes paused for effect and then continued ““A good reputation is better than a fat bank account. Your death date tells more than your birth date. You learn more at a funeral than at a feast— After all, that’s where we’ll end up. We might discover something from it. Crying is better than laughing. It blotches the face but it scours the heart. Sages invest themselves in hurt and grieving. Fools waste their lives in fun and games. You’ll get more from the rebuke of a sage Than from the song and dance of fools. The giggles of fools are like the crackling of twigs Under the cooking pot. And like smoke. Brutality stupefies even the wise And destroys the strongest heart. Endings are better than beginnings. Sticking to it is better than standing out.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7:1-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Ecclesiastes was addressing all the fun and games of The Temple, they were far too focused on all of their events than they were in sharing The Gospel of Christ Jesus, or loving their neighbour like they loved themselves. No, they were far too focused on labelling people, placing them in categories that they think fits their mould. Religion, Adon Hates.

Ecclesiastes concluded ““I’ve seen it all in my brief and pointless life—here a good person cut down in the middle of doing good, there a bad person living a long life of sheer evil. So don’t knock yourself out being good, and don’t go overboard being wise. Believe me, you won’t get anything out of it. But don’t press your luck by being bad, either. And don’t be reckless. Why die needlessly?”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7:15-17‬ ‭MSG‬‬

The Temple was far too focused on being good and perfect all of the time. Like The Elites, everything had to be just so, they led the entire church not just in worship, but in everything. They were held at a higher standard by Adon, and Adon wasn’t happy with the effects of their overly religous behaviour on silencing and labelling people as voiceless.

Rachel felt the fire within her die down, she had spoken what Adon’s spirit had told her to say, she was obedient to him, not man. They were above the law, because they obeyed the voice of the Spirit of Adon. Rachel had a flashback to when she first encountered Ecclesiastes and he had begun training her there in the shadows, she had found a way out of this broken society and being labelled a voiceless meaningless nobody that would forever be banished by society into a pit of despair with no hope for their future but being a silent witness to everything going on within The Temple. At least she was out now she had said to Him, indeed she was. This is where she belonged, fighting to bring The Gospel of Christ Jesus back into the midst of The Temple, getting rid of all the divides within The Temple and making sure everybody loved their neighbour as they loved themselves.

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belliesandburps · 3 years

Note

Followup with MGS4 Peace Walker and 5?

History has a funny way of repeating itself. :P

This one's actually gonna be long, so I'll cap it here to spare those uninterested in non-kink posts the burden of having to scroll past this fanboy rant. 'XD

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

3. It's Okay

Soooooo...not a controversial opinion to say that I don't think MGS4 is GREAT. I adored it when it first game out, and I still enjoy replaying it from time to time. But good lord, so many of the interviews shed light on a LOT of this games problems.

Some backstory is required. Hideo Kojima was done with MGS by this point. He planned to move on and leave the series to the younger generation. But then, there was a lot of internal conflict and struggle to determine what MGS4 should be after Fukushima quit (AND was rumored to have been murdered by the Yakuza...how that rumor started...and became a SERIOUS rumor that millions believe, I do not know...). So Kojima came back, course corrected, and the end result was kind of a giant mess.

I'm not talking story because, there's just way too much to unpack. But as a game, MGS4 can't decide what sort of video game it wants to be. It had a brilliant idea that had never been done before with its Battlefield Stealth, which were the best parts of the game. And then they get dropped two acts in, and what gets replaced in their stead is not nearly as fun.

The game had substantially less boss fights than its predecessor, and a lot of them were mechanically simplistic or just didn't let you get creative with how you fought them. And we later learned there were a lot more bosses planned, more gameplay sequences planned, and an entire other PMC group that got canned in favor of the Scarabs so Shadow Moses could be guarded by machines instead.

There's a lot about MGS4 that I love. I think the first two acts are amazing, ESPECIALLY Act 2. I think the mechanics are great. REX vs RAY is criminally fun. The sheer buffet of insane weapons gives the game a good amount of replay value. And the graphics still hold up to this day!

But what I finally realized is that the game juggles way too many ideas and doesn't give any idea the time they deserve to flourish. Battlefield Stealth could've CARRIED MGS4. But it gets dumped before we can get our moneys worth. A disguise sequence could've been really creative, having to juggle different identities with OctoMask every time one identity is burned. But it's only used once and wasted because it's only used for a terrible tailing mission that doesn't let you actually explore the European City. And too many of the action set pieces are kind of bland except the bosses and piloting Metal Gear.

MGS4 should've been MGS4. Not MGS's "Best Hits."

Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker

1. LOVED it!

I know this is unpopular to say, but I'll say it. Peace Walker is one of the best Metal Gear games ever made. I adored almost everything about it. The gameplay improves on MGS4 in most ways because it doesn't juggle a billion ideas all at once. It's MGS4 stripped down to stealth action from start to finish, and that's all I wanted. The level design is great. The insane volume of guns changes the entire feel of combat in later post-campaign gameplay. The mission select options mean you can jump into all the parts of the game you enjoy the most. There's TONS of bonus missions that are really inventive and fun to replay. And the story is one of the best in the series. It's straight forward, very tight, characterized well, and is the best iteration of Big Boss to date.

Peace Walker's also the FUNNIEST MGS game by Kojima as well. There's so much more personality and levity to everything, to the point where Big Boss often feels like an MCU character. That might sound bad, but it's really not. That corniness fits MGS PERFECTLY, and I'd argue is tonally spot on for this series. MGS doesn't need to be dark, gory or explicit. It's a silly series that's about giant robots, corny bad ass super agents with an anti-nuke message.

The only downsides to Peace Walker are the QTE's and the boss fights. This was a feature that only ever appeared in this game and for good reason...it was fucking terrible. So basically, you had cutscenes that forced you to do various QTE's or else get dinged on your ratings at the end, even if you played perfectly. Fairly minimal, but then, you get to Strangelove's torture. And this is the single most rage-inducing part of any MGS game ever made. It's an insanely physically painful button mashing sequence that will leave your fingers raw and your PS3 triangle buttons jamming. And the ONLY way you can replay one of the best missions in the game (the prison escape where you have no items) is by redoing that sequence over and over. And the boss fights? While inventive, they're all just grindy bullet sponges with no personality, no stealth tactics, and no room for creativity the way you can get creative with every other MGS game's bosses. This was the biggest disappointment for me because the stealth and combat mechanics of PW are great and would've been SO good against human enemies like what Portable Ops had. Instead, every boss is a mini-Metal Gear all voiced by the VOCALOID AI from the mid 2000's, and each one takes forever to destroy. It sucks because PW had a TON of bosses, but only a few of them are any fun, and that's only if you have weapons that are strong enough that they don't take ages to destroy.

But asides from the bosses, the REST of the game is so damn good that I don't even care because that's just one element to a much larger, grander game. Which is even more impressive when you consider PW was originally on the PSP before the PS3 port. And this game has more content and replay value to it than most games I've played since.

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

1. LOVED it!

Hooooooookay...so, I've rambled about my storybook romance with MGSV for YEARS now. (Just ask @twistedtummies2, he's been subjected to my fanboying of this game more than anyone in existence XD) But there's a reason I regard this game as one of my all time favorites and the best MGS game to date.

It's REALLY freakin' fun.

Kojima had been re-energized by the time he got to MGSV. He'd been working on the game around the time he finished Peace Walker in 2010. He KNEW it was his final MGS game and wanted to do something completely different...

...He wanted to make a game where the central focus was on...waaaaait for it...the gameplay...

MGSV was designed to be, what he described, as a toybox. You have these missions that all take place in structurally unique outposts like any level in MGS. And the missions are designed with the structure needed so that they all feel different, but all remain so open ended that you can play them countless different ways.

MGSV's game model is everything GTA SHOULD'VE been. It fully embraces the open world freedom and incorporates that into the missions flawlessly. And it plays in such a way that stealth and combat both feel like they were the primary point. In MGS, combat is usually a last resort. But with MGSV, you can fly into an outpost blasting away on your helicopters mini-gun, shoot up the bad guys, rescue your target, throw them back into the chopper and fly away while "The Final Countdown" blares on your choppers loud speakers.

Every method of gameplay is valid and the controls, the enemy AI responsiveness, it's all, bar none, the best I've experienced in ANY video game. Sneaking around feels tight and tense and combat makes you feel like Jack Bauer on adrenaline. (I mean, he IS the voice of Venom Snake)

And I really like the story for the most part too. Its weaknesses are really glaring. Namely, the "Fun" of MGS is completely devoid in the story (which is really odd since it's FRONT AND CENTER in-game). Venom Snake only has maybe six minutes of dialogue in the entirety of this 30+ hour long game. And the way Skull Face gets completely undercut right at the home stretch is something I have NOT stopped bitching about for almost six years, and my friends can personally attest to that.

That and the ending feels too abrupt.

We know that Kojima got fired by Konami's VP and said VP scorched the entire production company after that and made a series of dickheaded decisions that pissed off a LOT of fans, burning much of the good will Konami IP fans had towards the company. But that had nothing to do with MGSV's abruptness. That was the plan from the start because only Kojima would think to end the entire series on a plot twist like that.

And I think the issue isn't the twist at all. In fact, I LOVE the twist. The issue is that the game should've continued beyond it so Venom Snake could cope with the truth and realize how badly he'd been screwed. I think even people who hated the twist could've been won over if there was a little more to the games epilogue than Episode 46.

Also, the games boss fights were a tad underwhelming. Not the fights themselves, I LOVED all five of the games bosses.

Oh? There were twelve?

No. I meant what I said. Because so many of the games bosses are rematches against the same bosses. All MGSV has is the Skulls, Quiet, Eli, The Man on Fire, and Metal Gear. They're great bosses that do everything the best MGS bosses always did; give you tons of options, incorporate combat AND stealth, have varied attacks AND even have multiple methods to sneak around the boss and avoid the fight completely. But for a game as long as MGS, you need more variety. And frankly, the bosses NEED more personality. Skull Face should've had more XOF assassins acting as the bosses in the game along with the ones we have. Elite assassins like Quiet, with their own powers and specialized weaponry so the fights feel completely different from the ones we have. And oh yeah, SKULL FACE HIMSELF SHOULD'VE HAD A GOD-FUCKING-DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!!

Buuuuuuut those issues don't even matter if for all the games issues, I still replay it frequently when it's almost six years old.

So yeah! There's the massive rant you totally didn't ask for! :D

#ask belliesandburps #mgs4 #mgsv #peace walker #metal gear #metal gear solid #seriously #i'm very very VERY bitter about how Kojima did Skull Face dirty #here's this really great villain with a super complex backstory and motivation #whadduya wanna do with him kojima-san?#I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!#we'll do...absolutely nothing!#he'll show up in five missions out of a thirty nine mission long game #he'll talk at venom snake a few times and do some cool things #then right around the time we're supposed to fight him?#a random twelve year old will hijack metal gear through a PSYCHIC twelve year old and crush Skull Face before we can do anything cool! :D #hold your applause children! :D #................we weren't clapping kojima-san...........#also sins of the father?#heaven's divide?#donna burke is amazing #seriously she is an in-freakin'-CREDIBLE singer #sorry cynthia hall #i got love #but...#whoooooa-HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

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pemdasblog · 3 years

Text

PEMDAS - Special Year-End Edition - Albums

I love end of year lists because I like consensus, rankings and numbers. But consensus is all based on who gets to rank, and the people who get the most access to major publication rankings are white men, so the numbers are tainted by white supremacy, misogyny, and many other forms of bigotry.

Which makes it even more interesting to see what gets ranked where.

Here’s a Google Sheet I made of all the lists and I created a formula that basically measures how many times an album placed on a list as well as how high it placed on that list. I’m going to keep updating this list as it’s not done, but it’s fun to play around with right now!

According to my formula and the critics, the top 10 albums of 2020 (in order) are:

#1: Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

#2: RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

#3: folklore •• Taylor Swift

#4: Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

#5: Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

#6: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

#7: Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

#8: Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

#9: Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

#10: Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

I also have a fun, unranked albums list brewing. I’ll release that at the very end of the year.

Click below for all of the publication lists!

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• ABC | Double J

Dan Condon

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Crossover •• Emma Donovan & The Putbacks

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Sharecropper’s Daughter •• Sa-Roc

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Chose Line •• Benny the Walker

South West •• L-FRESH the LION

Far Enough •• Cable Ties

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Nyaaringu •• Miiesha

You Be the Lightning •• Tracy McNeil & The GoodLife

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Suddenly •• Caribou

Our Two Skins •• Gordi

Down In the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Distance •• Jess Cornelius

King’s Disease •• Nas

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Batflowers •• Washington

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

ENERGY •• Disclosure

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Paid Salvation •• A Swayze & The Ghosts

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Unity •• Gordon Koang

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Child in Reverse •• Kate Miller-Heidke

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Aloha •• Son Little

The Modern Medieval •• Something for Kate

II: The Next Wave •• Quakers

Rome •• Josh Pyke

Fallow •• Fanny Lumsden

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

Original Cast Recording •• Braille Face

Colour by Number •• Leah Flanagan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

What You Gonna Do When the Grid Goes Down? •• Public Enemy

Feral •• RVG

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The best albums and songs of 2020 •• BBC Culture

Nick Levine

Best albums of 2020

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

folklore •• Taylor Swift

6 Music Recommends Albums of the Year 2020 •• BBC Radio - 6 Music

BBC Radio - 6 Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

The Universal Want •• Doves

Deep Down Happy •• Sports Team

The 50 Best Albums of 2020: Staff Picks •• Billboard

Billboard Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Circles •• Mac Miller

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Manic •• Halsey

Tickets to My Downfall •• Machine Gun Kelly

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Colores •• J Balvin

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Before Love Came To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Emmanuel •• Anuel AA

Love Goes •• Sam Smith

Suddenly •• Caribou

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

B7 •• Brandy

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Mesa Para Dos •• Kany García

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Kid Krow •• Conan Gray

Hecho en Mexico •• Alejandro Fernández

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Blame It on Baby •• DaBaby

Top 10 Albums of the Year 2020 •• Bleep

KiCk i •• Arca

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Cape Cira •• K-LONE

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Help •• Duval Timothy

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Shadow of Fear •• Cabaret Voltaire

Tara Clerkin Trio •• Tara Clerkin Trio

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Complex

Jessica McKinney, Andre Gee, Eric Skelton, Edwin Ortiz, Khal, Angel Diaz, Will Schube, Shawn Setaro, Lucas Wisenthel

After Hours •• The Weeknd

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Circles •• Mac Miller

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

The GOAT •• Polo G

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Wunna •• Gunna

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Muse In Her Feelings •• dvsn

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Angelic Hoodrat •• Kenny Mason

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Young & Turnt 2 •• 42 Dugg

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

One and Only •• Sheff G

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Limbo •• Aminé

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

Anyways •• Young Nudy

Legends Never Die •• Juice WRLD

Industry Games •• CHIKA

Reasonable Drought •• Stove God Cooks

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

King’s Disease •• Nas

While the World Was Burning •• SAINt JHN

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

Featuring Ty Dolla Sign •• Ty Dolla Sign

Detroit 2 •• Big Sean

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Consequence of Sound

CoS Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Gigaton •• Pearl Jam

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

Forgotten Days •• Pallbearer

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Suddenly •• Caribou

Everything Is Beautiful •• Princess Nokia

As Long as You Are •• Future Islands

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Shamir •• Shamir

Lamb of God •• Lamb of God

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

The Greatest Part •• Becca Mancari

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Liz •• Armani Caesar

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

The Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Crack Magazine

Help •• Duval Timothy

Indigo Dream •• E.M.M.A.

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Duma •• Duma

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Metal Preyers •• Metal Preyers

From Avoca Hills to the World •• Citizen Boy & Mafia Boyz

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

To Feel Embraced •• Sparkle Division

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Snoopy •• CS + Kreme

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Pain Olympics •• Crack Cloud

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Cape Circa •• K-Lone

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Modern Bliss •• Roza Terenzi

Ten Billion Angels •• Zora Jones

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Second Language •• Minor Science

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Deep Technik •• MoMA Ready

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Pillowland •• Jam City

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

The 15 best albums of 2020 •• Entertainment Weekly

Leah Greenblatt, Sarah Rodman & Alex Suskind

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

After Hours •• The Weeknd

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

American Love Story •• Butch Walker

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Exclaim!’s 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Exclaim!

Exclaim! Staff

God Has Nothing to Do with This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Suddenly •• Caribou

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Pantayo •• Pantayo

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

græ •• Moses Sumney

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Legacy •• Aquakultre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Devouring Ruin •• Wake

How Ill Thy World Is Ordered •• Daniel Romano’s Outfit

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

DNA Activation •• Witch Prophet

Peaceful as Hell •• Black Dresses

Where Only Gods May Tread •• Ingested

Circles •• Mac Miller

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Stygian •• Atramentus

ELEMENTS Vol. 1 •• TOBi

Reliever •• William Prince

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

Finds You Well •• Khotin

Underneath •• Code Orange

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

The Best Albums of 2020 •• FLOOD

FLOOD Staff

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Women in Music Pt. III •• Haim

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Shrines •• Armand Hammer

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

Si Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios) ∞ •• Kali Uchis

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

The Gigwise 51 Best Albums of 2020 •• Gigwise

Gigwise Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ohms •• Deftones

Circles •• Mac Miller

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Sex, Death & The Infinite Void •• Creeper

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Archer •• Alexandra Savior

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Night Network •• The Cribs

I Disagree •• Poppy

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Modern Dread •• Denai Moore

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

We Live Here •• Bob Vylan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

925 •• Sorry

Got To Be Tough •• Toots & The Maytals

græ •• Moses Sumney

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Three Mile Ditch •• The Wytches

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

In This House •• Lewsberg

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Monument •• Keaton Henson

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Hyper Romance •• Jadu Heart

Container •• The Wants

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

In Waiting •• Pillow Queens

The Reson for Hardcore Vibes •• Joe & The Shitboys

Gorilla vs. Bear’s Albums of 2020 •• Gorilla vs. Bear

Chris

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT || Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Weaving a Basket •• Sea Oleena

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Fires in Heaven •• Salem

Galore •• Oklou

What’s Tonight to Eternity •• Cindy Lee || Cat O’Nine Tails •• Cindy Lee

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Taken Away •• Moodymann

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Alletiders •• Alle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Because of a Flower •• Ana Roxanne

How Much Works •• Sweet Whirl

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

The Don of Diamond Dreams •• Shabazz Palaces

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Hunger for a Way Out •• Sweeping Promises

Your Hero Is Not Dead •• Westerman

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Remote Control •• Discovery Zone

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Help •• Duval Timothy

Yes •• Shinichi Atobe

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

I Was Born Swimming •• Squirrel Flower

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Mia Gargaret •• Gia Margaret

I Feel Alive •• Tops

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Crooner qui coule sous les clous •• Oï Les Ox

Bobby Joe Hope •• Jon McKiel

Motherhood •• No Joy

Land of No Junction •• Aoife Nessa Frances

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Cave Vaults on the Moon •• Tan Cologne

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

A Mythology of Circles •• Faten Kanaan

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Good Songs for Bad People •• Drab City

Roped In •• North Americans

Sorceress •• Jess Williamson

Phoenix: Flames are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Fantasy Chapel •• Riches

Ride Lonesome •• Young Ejecta

Shimmering Basset •• The Green Child

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• The Guardian

Ben Beaumont-Thomas & Laura Snapes

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

folklore •• Taylor Swift

græ •• Moses Sumney

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Suddenly •• Caribou

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Circles •• Mac Miller

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Karma & Desire •• Actress

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Three •• The Necks

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

The Best Albums of 2020 Ranked •• The Line of Best Fit

The Line of Best Fit Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

The Baby •• Samia

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

The Worst Generation •• Che Lingo

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

We’re New Again: A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Beginners •• Christian Lee Hutson

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Show Pony •• Orville Peck

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

The Amanda Tape •• THEY.

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Whatever, Man •• BLACKSTARKIDS

folklore •• Taylor Swift

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

Without People •• Donovan Woods

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Warnings •• I Break Horses

So When You Gonna... •• Dream Wife

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Now or Never •• Giggs

SISTER •• Mina Tindle

Circles •• Mac Miller

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

EDNA •• Headie One

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Best Albums of 2020 •• The New York Times

Jon Pareles, Jon Caramanica, and Lindsay Zoladz

Simmering Emotions, Louder Explosions Jon Pareles

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

SIGN •• Autechre

The Art of Taking One’s Time Jon Caramanica

Southside •• Sam Hunt

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Poems of the Past •• Powfu

Changes •• Justin Bieber

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

and 27 more for a chaotic year...

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Trap Tumbado •• Natanael Cano

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

City on Lock •• City Girls

Underneath •• Code Orange

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Positions •• Ariana Grande

A Rock •• Hardy

Violence in a Quiet Mind •• Haux

AUNTIE •• Ian Isiah

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

Levon James •• King Von

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

God Made a Woman •• Lauren Mascitti

LP5 •• John Moreland

Before Love Came to Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Rosetta •• Dua Saleh

Jesus Is Born •• Sunday Service Choir

Easy Money Baby •• Myke Towers

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

The Dream •• Hailey Whitters

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Rebel Yells, of Passion and Fury Lindsay Zoladz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

The Best Music of 2020 •• The New Yorker

Amanda Petrusich

No. 1 •• Etran de l’Aïr

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & the Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Honorable Mentions:

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Un Canto por México Vol. 1 •• Natalia Lafourcade

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Sheldon Pearce

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Mutable Set •• Blake Mills

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

APOLLO •• Fireboy DML

Couldn’t Wait to Tell You... •• Liv.e

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

The 100 Best Albums of 2020 •• Noisey (Vice)

Noisey Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT || UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

EDNA •• Headie One

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Bartees Strange •• Live Forever

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

Shame •• Uniform

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Full Wack No Brakes •• Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Cruisin’ with Junior H •• Junior H

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Inlet •• Hum

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Eternal Atake (Deluxe) •• Lil Uzi Vert

Lament •• Touché Amoré

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Rich Slave •• Young Dolph

Fires in Heaven •• SALEM

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

City On Lock •• City Girls

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to O’Block •• King Von

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Àdá Irin •• Navy Blue

Featuring Ty Dolla $ign •• Ty Dolla $ign

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Grime MC •• Jme

Viva el Perreo •• Jowell & Randy

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

The Goat •• Polo G

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Common Prayers •• Walter Martin

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Eternity of Shaog •• Esoctrilihum

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Corridos Tumbados •• Natanael Cano

The Prince of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

A Muse in Her Feelings •• dvsn

KiCk i •• Arca

Circles •• Mac Miller

Rise Above Hate •• Unknown T

I Love You 2 •• Hook

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

From a King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

12th House Rock •• Narrow Head

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself •• Okay Kaya

Growth & Development •• 22Gz

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Weight of the World •• MIKE

Auto-Pain •• Deeper

Bino Rideaux •• Outside

Tearless •• Amnesia Scanner

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

U-Void Synthesizer •• Machine Girl

Take Time •• Giveon

Pure X •• Pure X

Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2 •• Tkay Maidza

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Starmaker •• Honey Harper

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Have You Lost Your Mind Yet? •• Fantastic Negrito

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

7G •• A. G. Cook

Vibras de Noche •• Eslabon Armado

Immersion •• Primitive Man

Supergood •• Duckwrth

The Weather Up There •• Jeremy Cunningham

Underneath •• Code Orange

El Androide •• El Alfa

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

SIGN •• Autechre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Occupational Hazard •• Mozzy

The Freelancer’s Blues •• Dougie Poole

4 Da 304′s •• KentheMan

Best Music of 2020 •• NPR

NPR Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Adès Conducts Adès •• Thomas Adès

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Expectations •• Katie Pruitt

Data Lords •• Maria Schneider Orchestra

Underneath •• Code Orange

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Regresa •• Buscabulla

Dawson: Negro Folk Symphony •• ORF Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Small Death •• Samantha Crain

Pauline •• Ashley Ray

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Siti of Unguja (Romance Revolution on Zanzibar) •• Siti Muharam

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

My Turn •• Lil Baby

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Spider Tales •• Jake Blount

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Debussy • Rameau •• Víkingur Ólafsson

Muthaland •• Bbymutha

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

En Español •• The Mavericks

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

The experience of repetition as death •• Clarice Jensen

Inside •• X Alfonso

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage / Metro Boomin

some kind of peace •• Ólafur Arnalds

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Don’t Feed the Monster •• Homeboy Sandman

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Paste

Paste Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

græ •• Moses Sumney

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to Conceptual Beach •• Young Jesus

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Healing Is A Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Youth Pastoral •• Ben Seretan

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Inlet •• Hum

KIND •• Thanya Iyer

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Ultimate Success Today •• Protomartyr

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shadow Talk •• Cafe Racer

Source •• Nubya Garcia

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

The Baby •• Samia

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Celebrated By Strangers •• Catholic Action

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

Somewhere •• Gum Country

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pitchfork

Pitchfork Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

græ •• Moses Sumney

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Melee •• Dogleg

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Hannah •• Lomelda

Help •• Duval Timohy

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

KiCk i •• Arca

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Room for the Moon •• Kate NV

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

how i’m feeilng now •• Charli XCX

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 60 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pop Matters

Pop Matters Staff

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •�� Yves Tumor

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Outland •• Ital Tek

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

3.15.20 •• Childish Gambino

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Suddenly •• Caribou

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

Before Love Come To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The Cycle •• Mourning [A] BLKstar

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

The Universal Want •• Doves

We’ve Landed •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Eno Axis •• HC McEntire

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Ultrasonic •• Field Works

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

VOICES •• Max Richter

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Neon Cross •• Jaime Wyatt

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Amazones Power •• Les Amazones d’Afrique

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Piano Equation •• Matthew Shipp

Making a Door Less Open •• Car Seat Headrest

Silver Tongue •• TORRES

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Wooden Cave •• Thin Lear

Quietus Albums Of The Year 2020 •• The Quietus

The Quietus Staff

Dances/Curses •• Hey Colossus

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Energy Is Forever •• UKAEA

Help •• Duval Timothy

Be Up A Hello •• Squarepusher

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Guerilla •• Nazar

Only Darkness Now •• Alison Cotton

Alles in Allem •• Einstürzende Neubauten

SIGN •• Autechre

First Seance •• Land Trance

Duma •• Duma

These Charms May Be Sung Over a Wound •• Richard Skelton

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Type II •• Sex Swing

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Common Task •• Horse Lords

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

7 Weapons Series •• Howie Lee

Zoom •• Upsammy

Free Humans •• Hen Ogledd

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker & The New Breed

Cumbia Siglo XXI •• Meridian Brothers

Serpent •• MXLX

Because Of A Flower •• Ana Roxanne

Forever Underground •• Phantom Posse

There Is No Year •• Algiers

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Mestarin Kynsi •• Oranssi Pazuzu

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Edna •• Headie One

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Glory Days •• Heather Leigh

Blues •• Lamin Fofana

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

To Kiss Earth Goodbye •• Teleplasmiste

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Barbarians •• Young Knives

Fast Edit •• Still House Plants

Jp4 •• Junglepussy

Loom •• Katie Gately

Flower Violence •• Blóm

A Late Anthology Of Early Music Vol. 1: Ancient To Renaissance •• Jennifer Walshe

Cantus, Descant •• Sarah Davachi

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Endless Wound •• Black Curse

if i don't let myself be happy now then when? •• More Eaze & Claire Rousay

Seven Storey Mountain VI •• Nate Wooley

L’Inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Rock Sutra •• Sun Araw

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Heaven To A Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions Of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Returner •• Closed Circuits

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Lamunan •• Antonina Nowacka

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof

Não Fales Nela Que A Mentes •• Nídia

SKEEN •• Mariam Rezaei

Winterreise •• Jerskin Fendrix

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

how i'm feeling now •• Charli XCX

Superstar •• Harry Pussy

The End Of Their World Is Coming •• Dead Meat

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

KiCK i •• Arca

World Serpent •• Memnon Sa

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Cwm Gwagle •• Datblygu

Beyond The Floor •• Geld

Trinity •• Laylow

The Big Exercise •• The Homesick

Malibu Liquor Store •• Shit And Shine

Couldn't Wait To Tell You... •• Liv.e

No Era Sólida •• Lucrecia Dalt

Abscess Time •• Pyrrhon

Thug Ambient •• Dale Cornish

Pillowland •• Jam City

Crabs In A Bucket •• Nines

Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss •• Regis

Prole Art Threat •• East Man

Evil Spirits Who Prowl About The World Seeking The Ruin Of Souls •• Haq123

Toutes Ces Horreurs •• Satan

Figures •• Aksak Maboul

Mind Hive •• Wire

2020 •• Magik Markers

Training Day 3 •• Potter Payper

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

Nah Nah Nah Yeh Yeh Yeh •• Luminous Bodies

Aux Pieds De La Nuit •• Nyx Nótt

6 •• Pharaoh Overlord

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Rolling Stone

Jonathan Bernstein, Emily Blake, Jon Blistein, Jon Dolan, Patrick Doyle, Brenna Ehrlich, Jon Freeman, Kory Grow, Christian Hoard, Joseph Hudak, Elias Leight, Angie Martoccio, Claire Shaffer, Rob Sheffield, Hank Shteamer, Simon Vozick-Levinson

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

City on Lock •• City Girls

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Plastic Hearts •• Miley Cyrus

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Manic •• Halsey

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Shamir •• Shamir

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

After Hours •• The Weeknd

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Got to Be Tough •• Toots and the Maytals

Traditional Techniques •• Stephen Malkmus

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

McCartney III •• Paul McCartney

Haunted Painting •• Sad13

Alphabetland •• X

Aftermath •• Elizabeth Cook

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Growth •• Kareem Ali

Love Is The King •• Jeff Tweedy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Albums of the Year 2020 •• Rough Trade

Rough Trade Staff

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Song For Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

Beyond the Pale •• Jarv Is

So When You Gonna •• Dream Wife

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Bedroom •• bdrmm

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

England Is A Garden •• Cornershop

Galore •• Oklou

Protean Threat •• Osees

Ultra Mono •• Idles

Suddenly •• Caribou

What Kinda Music •• Tom Misch + Yussef Dayes

By The Fire •• Thurston Moore

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Wu Hen •• Kamaal Williams

Wake Up! •• Hazel English

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Jump Rope Gazers •• Beths

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

There Is No Other •• Isobel Campbell

Head Above Water •• Brigid Mae Power

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Old Flowers •• Courtney Marie Andrews

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Loco •• A Certain Ratio

Ummon •• Slift

Coriky •• Coriky

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

That’s How Rumours Get Started •• Margo Price

Introduction, Presence •• Nation Of Language

some kind of peace •• Olafur Arnalds

Walking Like We Do •• Big Moon

Bug On Yonkers •• Damaged Bug

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Home •• Romare

Infinity of Now •• Heliocentrics

3D Routine •• Mush

All or Nothing •• Shopping

Fading •• Pole

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Heritage of the Invisible II •• Aqulies Navarro + Tcheser Holmes

Blue Hearts •• Bob Mould

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD •• Nick Hakim

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Myopia •• Agnes Obel

Anywhere But Here •• Habibi

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Invisible People •• Chicano Batman

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

Cenizás •• Nicolas Jaar

Straight Songs of Sorrow •• Mark Lanegan

Friday Forever •• Everything Is Recorded

Pleasure Line •• Video Age

Happy Birthday •• Sneaks

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Voices •• Max Richter

Even in Exile •• James Dean Bradfield

The True Story Of •• Bananagun

Making a New World •• Field Music

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Midnight Manor •• The Nude Party

The Juice That’s Worth the Squeeze •• Cherry Pickles

The Long Goodbye •• Riz Ahmed

Colourfield •• Dan Michaelson

Stray •• Bambara

Collector •• Disq

Gentle Grip •• Public Practice

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Tender Epoch •• Rudy De Anda

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

Alphabetland •• X

The Land that Time Forgot •• Chuck Prophet

Up in the Air •• Bent

Mind Hive •• Wire

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry x Kenny Beats

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

High Risk Behaviour •• Chats

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Articulation •• Rival Consoles

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Marigold •• Pinegrove

It’s Only Us •• Monophonics

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Superstar •• Caroline Rose

Truth or Consequences •• Yumi Zouma

Mother Stone •• Caleb Landry Jones

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Slate

Carl Wilson

ALBUMS

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Diet Cig, Bully, The Beths, beabadoobee, Beach Bunny, Mitski, Torres, Down Time, and Emily Brown

Beginners •• Christian Lee Huston

Down in the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

Artlessly Falling •• Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Zurich Concert •• Jaimie Branch & The Dave Gisler Trio

Beverly Glenn-Copeland

Here It Comes Again [EP] •• Cate Le Bon & Group Listening

L’inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Solar Wind •• Joëlle Leandre, Robert Dick, and Miya Masaoka

Memory Game •• Meredith Monk & The Bang On a Can All-Stars

Fra Det Onde •• Fra Det Onde & Emil Nikolaisen

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Positions •• Ariana Grande

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Songs for Pierre Chuvin •• The Mountain Goats

Getting Into Knives •• The Mountain Goats

Day of the Tiles [EP] •• Human Hearts

Island •• Owen Pallett

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Home Time •• Darren Hayman

Alphabetland •• X

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT || Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

We Are Sent Here by History •• Shabaka and the Ancestors

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Universal Beings E & F Sides •• Makaya McCraven

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

To Know Without Knowing •• Mulatu Astatke & Black Jesus Experience

Dutch from the 5th •• Dutchavelli

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Stormzy & Skepta

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

J Hus, Headie One, Tion Wayne, D Double E, Blanco, Young T & Bugsey, Kojey Radical, AJ Tracey, and Ghetts

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

America the Beautiful •• Kahil El’Zabar

Omega •• Immanuel Wilkins

Good Days •• Chicago Underground Quartet

8: Kindred Spirits •• Charles Lloyd

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

The Way It Feels •• Maddie & Tae

But I’d Rather Be With You •• Molly Tuttle

Bridges [EP] •• Mickey Guyton

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

High Off Life •• Future

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke || Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Descendants of Cain •• KA

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Fretted & Indebted •• Alasdair Roberts || The Songs of My Boyhood •• Alasdair Roberts

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rejoice •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Love-Lore •• Deerhoof

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof || To Be Surrounded by Beautiful, Curious, Breathing, Laughing Flesh Is Enough •• Deerhoof & Wadada Leo Smith || Surprise Symphonies •• Deerhoof

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Stereogum

Stereogum Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Manger on McNichols •• Boldy James & Sterling Toles

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Lament •• Touché Amoré

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inlet •• Hum

Hannah •• Lomelda

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

925 •• Sorry

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

World House •• Mil-Spec

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Viewing •• Stay Inside

Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress •• Gulch

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

KiCk i •• Arca

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

SIGN •• Autechre

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

græ •• Moses Sumney

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

FREE I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Take a Chance on Rock ‘n’ Roll •• Couch Slut

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

As We Suffer from Memory and Imagination •• Nuvolascura

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Best Albums of 2020 •• TIME

Raisa Bruner & Andrew R. Chow

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Agüita •• Gabriel Garzón-Montano

We’re New Again - A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Miss Anthropecene •• Grimes

Celia •• Tiwa Savage

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Uproxx

Uproxx Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Circles •• Mac Miller

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial •• Roddy Ricch

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Cuttin’ Grass - Vol. 1 (Butcher Shoppe Sessions) •• Sturgill Simpson

Fine Line •• Harry Styles

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Black Habits •• D Smoke

What We Drew 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Limbo •• Aminé

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

The GOAT •• Polo G

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Talk About It •• Blimes and Gab

Everything •• Kota the Friend

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Wunna •• Gunna

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Imploding the Mirage •• The Killers

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Better •• Deanté Hitchcock

Queen of Da Souf •• Mulatto

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Heaven or Hell •• Don Toliver

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Behind-the-Paywall Lists:

LA Times

The Economist

12 notes · View notes

muteoilydiscolour · 3 years

Text

Year in Review

Yes I’m posting this way into January. HOWEVER, time isn’t real. I started making this post in Dec and then left it in my drafts, which is something I do pretty much every year! So let’s pretend ‘this year’ means 2020

a picture of you taken this year

This was at an fun exhibition in a huge decrepid warehouse, when things were briefly open in October

talk about movies this year

I work in a cinema so usually watch a lot of movies, but that hasn’t happened as much this year! I managed to miss out on two films because of lockdown 1 + 2 - And Then We Danced and Saint Maud, which I still really want to see!

My fav films I watched this year are The Lighthouse, Parasite, David Copperfield, My Own Private Idaho, Ema (I guess, the plot was wild but the production is great), Shirley, Sunset Boulevard and Nausicaa

talk about television this year

GUYS. It’s taken 6 years but I have nearly finished The X-Files! Or, I’ve made it to season 9. I’ve been a bit put off because I hate Doggett but Reyes is cool and there’s still a lot of fun eps! Other faves from this year: Drag Race UK, What We Do in the Shadows, Succession, I May Destroy You, Feel Good, BoJack Horseman, Schitt’s Creek, Ratched, and Pose (not from this year but I finally watch s2 and loved it!)

talk about books this year

I have literally read 3 books this year: Convenience Store Woman, Song of Solomon and The Body Keeps the Score. All good, esp the latter 2. I bought a bunch of books just before lockdown but then my brain dissolved into a fine mush. I’ve just started The Brothers Karamazov, which I’m enjoying! I didn’t realise Dostoyevsky could be funny.

talk about food this year

food is lyf

My birthday is at the end of March so I spent it essentially alone (my housemates were around but they don’t count), and I spent several hours making and icing my birthday cake.

At the beginning of lockdown I got into making myself nice breakfasts of waffles or pancakes with lots of fruit/yoghurt/honey.

Some recipe recs:

Leek, Pesto and Squash Pie (I made this with added peas/kale/veggie sausage, and mashed potato on top)

Jambalaya (I make this without chicken and use veg stock)

Spaghetti alla Puttanesca (I have only recently started to appreciate the greatness of spaghetti)

Salted Caramel Pear Cake

Carrot Cake

talk about music this year

Spotify playlist of songs I’ve enjoyed this year!

Fav albums:

Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters

Sufjan Stevens - The Ascension

Porridge Radio - Every Bad

Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA

Moses Sumney - Grae

Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind (this is currently on repeat!)

Perfume Genius - Set My Heart on Fire Immediately

Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure

Dorian Electra - My Agenda

Having some of my favs release albums means I’ve been able to read lots of interviews with them, such as this Fiona Apple interview.

talk about art this year

I was lucky enough to do a London trip at the end of Feb (and met @angelsofashes IRL!) so I got to look at a bunch of art then, although I think just went to the White Cube Bermondsey and the Tate Modern extension which I hadn’t got round to visiting before.

OH and in the National Portrait Gallery I discovered young Charles Dickens is my doppelganger which I still find hilarious.

something that made you proud this year

I finished my Graphic Arts MA in January and got a distinction! I worked so hard on my final project so it was nice to have that recognised even though it’s essentially meaningless. I also was lucky enough to have a final show.

Other than that, proud of everyone for making it through I guess!

something that made you laugh this year

A lot of bad memes, such as:

something that made you sad this year

*Gestures at everything*

something that made you happy this year

Friends, sunshine, watching people walk their dogs

your favorite photo this year

idk, I take so many photos - but here’s a nice cat refusing to face the camera

what you learned this year

I’ve kind of learned how to use After Effects! Slowly getting better at animation

travel you did this year

I managed to do a few trips around Devon/London/Kent in Feb/Mar, which was pretty lucky. Aside from that... uhhhhhhhh

I also bought a railcard in Feb lmao, and they’re not refunding or extending them, of course

Something which caught your interest this year

I’ve been listening to podcasts all the time (as a substitute for actual company I guess!) Literally one of the few things keeping me sane. Some recs:

You’re Wrong About

Museum of the Vanishing Dog (shoutout to tumblr user @boyhood!)

Caraboo Projects loops

talk about politics or current events this year

uhhhhhhhhh

tbh the US election was a welcome distraction, esp as it happened when I had to Covid isolate - nice for an election result to not be disastrous for once

3 goals for next year

Find somewhere to live (I’m being chucked out of my current place this summer because, mysteriously, they want to make it a student flat)

Survive/stay healthy if possible

Maybe search for that elusive 5-figure salary

talk about things you are excited for next year.

uhhhhhhhhhh

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#year in review

5 notes · View notes

lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

Trust (Rated NC17)

Summary: After close to a decade of not seeing one another, a box shows up at Aziraphale's bookshop, its contents a reminder of emotional wounds ...

... and a cry for help. (4931 words)

Notes: So yeah, apparently I lied when I said I was finished writing au's based off of @whiteleyfoster's 'Prince of Omens'. This idea hit me quite out of the blue, that by creating the Prince of Omens au, it sort of altered the timeline of the original story, which then led me to imagine filling in the gaps of history with stories starring this version of the characters. This takes place, I would say, sometime between the Blitz and the 60s, which may have fed into some of the decisions taken place by the characters between that time. Plus, I thought it was a very romantic, touching, and hot moment for the two of them, being sniffed out by Hell. Anyway, let me know what you all think <3

Read on AO3.

Please say you trust me.

Those are the only words written on the gold card tucked inside the box that shows up at Aziraphale’s bookshop on Thursday afternoon, packed alongside a few other choice items: a white blindfold, a pair of golden handcuffs, and a hotel room key. There’s no return address on the box, no name on the card, only the initials AJC.

But Aziraphale didn’t need those.

He knew.

Before he opened the box and saw its contents, he knew who’d sent it.

He could sense Crowley’s magical signature all over it.

Aziraphale examines the contents for a long while, his heart pounding in his chest. They’re not a random collection of offerings. Aside from how Crowley means them, each one is symbolic.

The white blindfold harks back to the ribbon that has become so sacred to Crowley - the one Aziraphale tied around the plant he gave the demon back in Egypt.

The meaning behind the cuffs comes from around that same time.

Standing on the banks of the Red Sea, watching Moses tend to his flock of the faithful as they readied themselves for the journey on, Crowley had gazed across the water in the direction they’d come, the bitterest, sweetest expression of sorrow on his handsome face.

“What is it, my dear?” Aziraphale had asked. “Why do you seem so melancholy? All’s well that ends well, don’t you think?”

“How is it,” he’d said, staring at the water, unable to look Aziraphale in the eye, “that I can continue to be such a tremendous failure?”

“How can you say that!? None of these people would have been able to escape Pharaoh if not for you! You’re a hero!”

“But just as many lost their lives because of me! Because I was too arrogant to be specific with my instructions! But that’s just who I am … what I do …”

“No, my dear …” Aziraphale put a hand on his arm “… that’s not true at all. Stop saying that … please …”

Crowley turned to Aziraphale but with eyes shut, unable to take his kindness, accept his sympathy.

“It’s humbling. They showered me with riches, built me a temple. I’d planted myself as a God among them so I could stir up a little mischief, but they tempted me. And like an idiot, I fell for it.” Crowley shook his head. “To be brought to my knees, have that torn away … it makes me realize what I really am. What I’ve been all along.”

“Lesson learned then,” Aziraphale said. Crowley’s eyes snapped open, heartbreak dulling their shimmering gold depths. “Because you are what you should be. And that’s free.”

Crowley’s brow furrowed. “W-what do you mean?”

“The temple, those clothes, the gold - they had strings attached. They kept you beholden to Pharaoh. Turned you into a slave.” Aziraphale shifted Crowley’s gaze away from the water and aimed it towards the land, to the people gathered there. “By doing what you did, helping these people, enduring, suffering … you’re not a slave anymore. Not to Pharaoh. You’re free.”

Aziraphale recalls those words, the smile they’d brought to Crowley’s face, the embrace that followed, the dozen kisses and more … and he frowns.

Because where it’s true that Crowley freed himself from Egypt, he’s still a servant.

As is Aziraphale.

They’re both in the same boat - conscripted to a higher power that commands their moves, often using them as pawns.

Or worse.

As toys.

And they play with them the way spoiled children do.

Roughly.

If they break, Heaven and Hell will consign them to the bottom of the toy box and find new angels and demons to replace them.

Aziraphale has a sinking suspicion that’s part of what’s going on now - Hell commanding its servant, holding his feet to the fire. But to do what, Aziraphale hasn’t a clue.

The words written on the card are a linchpin.

Please say you trust me.

Aziraphale had said something similar to Crowley when they’d made love in his temple and he’d used his precious white ribbon on him as a blindfold.

Crowley repeated the sentiment back to him when God sent Death to reap the first born. Death would have reaped Crowley, too, if not for Aziraphale. Crowley promised he would try to save the innocent but that Aziraphale needed to have faith in him.

Aziraphale said - “Always, my dear.”

Faith.

Trust.

Aziraphale and Crowley had known one another for 2500 years by the time they met up in Egypt, but it was during that time that Aziraphale truly learned to trust Crowley. Crowley had been gifted Aziraphale’s trust during the years they spent watching over Moses. He lost it, but earned it back in spades. Since then, he’s run to Aziraphale’s rescue time and time again, saving him from beheadings, bombings …

… re-assignment.

And despite this cloak-and-dagger, Aziraphale trusts Crowley now.

Aziraphale didn’t know Crowley was in town. They hadn’t seen one another in close to a decade. Aziraphale knew Crowley would turn up one of these days, but not like this.

He holds out hope the objects in the box are for pleasure, but he’s sure they’re for business. Trust or no, that makes him nervous. He doesn’t like not knowing what’s in store for him. The real torture will be in waiting, guessing.

But, luckily, not too long.

Aziraphale finds out the following night.

He had no idea when Crowley would call for him. He’d hoped Crowley would come for him himself - show up on his doorstep in a smart black suit, all seductive secrets and sly smiles.

A car comes for him instead, driven by a human chauffeur.

A block away from the hotel, he senses them.

Demons.

Lots of them.

Lurking around corners, hiding in the shadows, ducking out of sight.

Watching him arrive.

Even on this main thoroughfare bustling with people, there are more demons around than he’s ever felt in a single place.

His body goes cold.

“Long night?” Aziraphale asks the driver, making small talk to keep his mind off of whatever’s waiting for him ahead. It feels like a trap, every molecule of his celestial form screaming at him to get out of the car and run, that he’s been betrayed. But he can’t think like that. Crowley wouldn’t put him in harm’s way.

He has to believe heart and soul he wouldn’t.

Especially not after that note.

Please say you trust me.

“You could say that.”

“Where are you headed after this, my dear?”

“I’ve been hired on for the night by the blokes who hired me to get you,” the man says, peeking at Aziraphale through the rear view. “Good thing, too. Heaven knows I need the money.”

“Hard times, hmm?”

“It’s my daughter Liza,” the man says with a lump in his throat. “She’s come down sick. The doctors here don’t know what to do for her. We’re hoping to take her to the states. We’ve heard there are doctors there that can help her.”

“I see.” Aziraphale scans the streets around them. Something doesn’t feel right (on top of everything else that already doesn’t feel right). Evil clings to this man, though, in his heart, he is good.

It’s not him, Aziraphale discovers as he reaches out with his angelic senses. It’s the company he keeps. He’s been hired by demons. Not Crowley but others. They’ve promised him a great deal of money to be their errand boy - escort prostitutes around the city and deliver some dangerous packages to some powerful people.

But they have no intention of paying him.

Because he will not survive the night.

He’s disposable. A nobody in the grand scheme. That’s why they hired him. That’s what the demons are counting on - cruel since demons can masquerade as humans and do their own dirty work.

But it’s loads more fun to trick some unsuspecting mortal to do it for them.

In the end, after he’s taken part in some shady deals (unbeknownst to him) they’ll have his soul for Hell. It’s a demonic loophole. (They have enough lawyers to ensure them it’s sound.) And even though Aziraphale wants to maintain a low profile, he can’t let this happen.

The chauffeur pulls up to the curb in front of The Savoy and puts his car into park.

“Here we are,” he says, looking over his shoulder at Aziraphale. “Do you need help up to your room or …?”

“Not at all, young man.” Aziraphale reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rolled-up wad of notes bound together by a rubber band. The driver waits patiently for Aziraphale to count out his tip. His eyes blow wide when Aziraphale hands him the entire thing.

“I … are you serious, sir?”

“Yes,” Aziraphale says with a smile. “For a job well done. Best ride I’ve had in ages.”

“I … I can’t accept this!” the man says, an expression of pain passing over his face as a voice in his head - probably his wife’s - screams, ‘Yes, you can, you idiot! Don’t argue!’ “I only drove you twelve city blocks!”

“You can accept it, and you will.” Aziraphale snaps his fingers, using a little angelic magic to cease any more arguing. “And now you’re going to drive straight home, pack your family up, and head to the airport. Get on board TWA flight 530 to Los Angeles, and get your daughter well.”

A second snap of his fingers sees to that. Liza will greet her father at the door to their humble flat completely cancer free. But Aziraphale needs to get him and his family out of town. He knows what will happen when the demons discover this man has skipped out on his duties.

Needless to say, they won’t be happy.

“Thank you, sir! I … I don’t know how I could ever re-pay you!”

“I do. Forget you ever saw me. And forget the men who hired you.” Aziraphale snaps one last time, gets out of the car, and heads for the front door. He pauses when he hears the car pull away from the curb, watching it drive off into the night. If a demon ever does manage to catch up with him, they should be able to tell that his mind has been wiped by an angel. That and the fact that he’s blessed should keep them off his back.

Aziraphale shows his key to the doorman, who directs him to the room he needs. He declines any more offers of help and continues on alone.

For a Friday night, it’s pretty mellow at The Savoy. Most everyone is out on the town, living it up. Which means no one notices the middle-aged man in the cream-colored coat slip down the hallway and take the elevator to the top floor.

No one will notice if he disappears.

He starts out with shoulders squared and head held high, carrying the box Crowley sent him tucked under one arm. But as he walks down the quiet hall, the demonic smell growing stronger and more pungent with every step, the box creeps out from underneath his arm to his chest where he hugs it close.

He stops in front of the door and fits the key in the lock, his hands shaking as he does. He breathes out slowly, counts to three. He hasn’t even unlocked the door but he feels him on the other side.

Crowley.

In this room.

Waiting for him.

Crowley summoned him here and now Aziraphale is about to turn himself over to him.

Him and about a dozen other demons.

His heart double-thumps with excitement.

His head swims with fear.

He unlocks the door, pushes it open.

It opens unto darkness.

“Hello?” he calls inside, reluctant to take a step in but he knows he must.

Please say you trust me.

Those words ring in his ears. They aren’t simple words, not easy. They have weight to them, a history.

They’re a plea.

It’s not until he closes the door behind him that he notices Crowley’s silhouette standing beside the foot of a large bed over by the window.

The door locks behind him without him touching it.

It’s more than a bit unsettling.

Aziraphale walks over to the bed and sets the box down .

“Crowley?” he says, waiting for the demon to acknowledge his arrival in any way. Aziraphale wants to rush into his arms, kiss him on the mouth, whisper words of love against his skin.

But a voice in his mind tells him this isn’t the time for that.

It’s ridiculous. He knows he’s in very real danger of being discorporated but he can’t help noticing … Crowley looks stunning. He’s been growing his hair out. It’s not long yet, but it’s not short either. It’s just long enough for Aziraphale to run his fingers through, wind the strands around and pull him close. He’s dressed for bed - barefoot, black pajama pants, and shirtless, the planes of his chest and his flat stomach on enticing display. Even his scar - that horrible scar from Aziraphale’s flaming sword - looks delicious in this low light.

Positively kissable.

And he’s not wearing his glasses. Not hiding his eyes.

Though he’s never had to hide his eyes from Aziraphale.

Crowley doesn’t look at Aziraphale as the angel inches closer, eyes searching his face for an explanation. Aziraphale gets within touching distance, but Crowley takes a step away.

“Take off your clothes,” he commands.

“Wh-what?”

“What’s wrong, principality? Did I stutter?”

“No,” Aziraphale says, fighting to maintain a composure that’s a feather’s touch away from shattering like a plate glass window, “you didn’t. But I …”

“Then be a good little angel and obey. Maybe you haven’t noticed but you’re not the one in control. You have no power here.”

Snickers travel around the room and from the strangest of locations: in a closet, under the bed, on the ceiling. Aziraphale doesn’t look up to check. If there is a demon hanging from the chandelier above him, he’d rather not see it with his own eyes.

Stunned into silence like Crowley slapped him in the face, Aziraphale slips off his coat and lays it on the bed, then reaches for his shirt. With every button he undoes, his mind reels, searching for a solution. From the smell of this place, there are demons everywhere - in the room, in the hallway, on the street outside. So running is not an option. He could miracle his way out, but that would cause a paper trail he’d have to explain to Gabriel, which would lead to three possible outcomes: one - Gabriel reprimands Aziraphale for the use of a frivolous miracle (because, apparently, saving himself is considered frivolous); two - this incident starts a battle with Hell, which may not end well for Earth as a whole; or three - Gabriel presses Hell for answers and Hell offers up Crowley as a sacrifice.

Aziraphale can’t risk hurting Crowley any more than he could risk hurting Earth. Plus, that would leave Crowley at the mercy of Hell since his mission would have failed.

Aziraphale has no choice but to play along and hope that an explanation comes to light.

He’ll keep you safe. He won’t hurt you. He’ll explain this to you. Trust him.

“Everything,” Crowley says when Aziraphale stops at his pants, his voice undeniably softer when he says, “I want to see everything.”

That softness, more than anything, encourages Aziraphale on.

When Aziraphale has completely undressed, Crowley approaches. His eyes - a serpent’s eyes from rim to rim where they’d normally appear a bit more human - are uncharacteristically unforgiving, but Aziraphale doesn’t miss the subtle once over Crowley gives him, how it causes him to miss a step.

Crowley reaches out a hand. Aziraphale thinks he’s reaching for him, his body starving for his touch. For a second, Crowley seems to consider it. But he grabs the box instead. He opens it, exposing its contents. He reaches inside and pulls out the golden handcuffs. He grabs Aziraphale’s wrists, locking them in front of him.

“C-Crowley? What’s going on?” Aziraphale asks, starting to get nervous, the other demons in the room an ominous presence even though he doesn’t see them. “You’re going a bit fast for me.”

Crowley leads Aziraphale to the bed, maneuvers him like a dog on a leash by the chain of those handcuffs, has him climb up on it and kneel on the mattress. Then he takes Aziraphale by the chin and stares deep into his eyes. “Pay attention, principality, because I won’t tell you again.” Crowley starts to speak, posturing on about how Aziraphale is his prisoner, how he’s there to serve him, please him, bend to his whims. Aziraphale hears him, his words playing in the corner of his mind like a scratchy record on an ancient gramophone, warped and skipping, out of tune.

But what he hears louder than that are the words Crowley projects to the forefront of his brain.

Words that tremble, steeped in fear.

‘I need your help, angel. Please? Do what I say? They’re watching.’

Aziraphale sees Crowley gulp, feels his own throat ache with the bob of his Adam’s apple.

Crowley’s power is fueled by his imagination. That’s one of the things that makes him unique among demons. Aziraphale and Crowley had discovered long ago that he can make Aziraphale hear whatever he wants him to hear, even over long distances.

He’s using that power now to communicate with him.

‘I know you feel them. I can’t explain but I promise, I won’t let them hurt you. I swear it.’

Crowley takes the blindfold out of the box and starts tying it over Aziraphale’s eyes.

‘I … I don’t understand, Crowley,’ Aziraphale thinks, knowing Crowley will hear.

‘I’ll explain later but please … please say you trust me.’

Aziraphale nods. ‘Always, my dear.’

‘And no matter what I say … know that I love you.’

‘I do.’

Crowley knots the blindfold twice - once to secure it, a second time to stall, giving him a moment to gather the courage he needs to say what’s coming next.

‘I need to compel your wings. They want to see them. They want to see me … force you to reveal them.’

Aziraphale shudders, memories of having his wings ripped into existence by other demons flooding his thoughts.

Crowley sees. His hands ball into fists.

Having one’s wings compelled can be an uncomfortable, even painful business.

It’s also the ultimate humiliation.

But for Crowley, Aziraphale would do practically anything.

‘Of course. Just … be careful.’

‘I will,” Crowley promises, his voice thick with curses and a deep hatred of himself that Aziraphale can’t help but feel. He wishes he could put a comforting hand on his shoulder and give him strength.

With any luck, there will be time for that later.

Aziraphale breathes in deep, trying to relax when he sees Crowley raise a hand. Aziraphale closes his eyes, surrenders control of his wings to Crowley, telling himself it will be okay.

He’s with Crowley. His Crowley. The Crowley he’s known and loved for thousands of years. They’ll get past this hurdle, attack the next.

They’ll get through this together.

The pinch in his shoulder blades feels all too familiar and almost sends him into a panic. He recedes deeper into himself, reminds himself of better times he’s had with Crowley in bed. The room goes silent, the demons observing on the edge of their seats, captivated by the events unfolding in front of them. In the midst of that silence, Aziraphale can hear his own heartbeat.

Immediately following, he hears Crowley’s.

Then their breathing mixed together, the mingling of it bringing a wash of calm to Aziraphale’s mind. A blue glow builds beneath his skin, filling the room, casting eerie shadows of the hiding demons across the floor.

Then his wings begin to appear.

With his eyes closed behind the blindfold, Aziraphale doesn’t see the glow, can’t notice the demons. He feels the heat of Crowley’s power sink into his skin, spiral through his body, coaxing his wings out of hiding with the caress of hands born of fire.

Aziraphale gasps when his wings break free and unfurl, a completion in its own right.

An intensely intimate, highly erotic experience.

Aziraphale stretches his wings when Crowley relinquishes control of them. It is part of the dress code for angels on Earth to keep them hidden, but he feels comforted by them. They soothe him, give him a sense of security.

‘Aziraphale …’

Crowley’s voice pierces its way through Aziraphale’s calm. It’s both welcome and a harsh reminder that this isn’t the end of their ordeal. There’s more to come.

‘Yes?’

‘I need to … umm …’

‘Just tell me, my dear. I’ll do whatever it takes to get us out of this.’

Crowley hems and haws, but he can’t find the strength to say. ‘They’ll want it to look like I’m forcing you.’

‘Do what you must.’

Aziraphale could very well choose to see through the blindfold but he decides not to. He stays in the moment with Crowley, let’s the suspense of his next move well up within him, give the demons in the dark the smell of his anticipation to feast on while they mistake it for fear.

He hears a rustle of fabric, feels Crowley’s hand on his head, a whimper rising from the demon’s throat.

He doesn’t want to do this. Aziraphale knows he doesn’t want to do this.

Crowley pushes down, dragging Aziraphale’s head to his crotch. Aziraphale pretends to struggle. But when he feels the head of Crowley’s cock nudge his lips, he forgets to protest, forgets that they’re in anything even close to danger.

Because he loves Crowley. Crowley loves him.

And it’s been too long since they’ve had one another.

Aziraphale opens his mouth and slowly, ever so slowly, slides down over him, licking along the way, the way he knows Crowley likes, doing his part to remind him that they’re in this together, that he’s with him whatever it takes.

Crowley threads trembling fingers through Aziraphale’s hair, bites his tongue to keep from moaning Aziraphale’s name. He thrusts up with his hips, pushes down lightly, his body begging with every twitch for Aziraphale to go faster.

For him to get this over with, put him out of his misery.

Because Crowley has dreamt of this - just this - since the last time they saw one another.

It’s cruel that he should get it now in front of prying eyes.

He rises to his knees, putting his hands on Aziraphale’s head and taking over, assaulting his mouth shallowly, trying to make it appear to the eyes around him that he’s fucking his mouth, violating him, hurting him. He doesn’t do this to his angel. He’s never done this to him. He wouldn’t.

But it’d be too easy.

It feels too good.

Not just the physical sensation of Aziraphale’s mouth around him, but the pushing him.

The forcing him.

The demon inside him rises up with each thrust, whispers in his ears to snap his hips harder, push in farther, hold Aziraphale’s head flush against him till tears leak from his eyes with the strain of his corporal form holding its breath.

But he can’t do that, he repeats to himself. He won’t do that. He won’t give in.

He won’t become like the owners of those coal black eyes watching them.

“Stop,” Crowley mumbles, mostly to himself, slipping out of Aziraphale’s mouth, regretting it the moment the cool air touches his skin. “That’s not how I want to finish. Hands and knees. Now, angel!”

‘Tell me to stop,’ he projects, ‘then beg me not to. Really sell it.’

“You … you can’t do this!” Aziraphale scrambles to obey, rolling onto his hands and knees. And even though this is fake, his nerves scatter, wondering about the origin of the edge in Crowley’s voice.

The fiery yellow simmer in his eyes, the one he’d glimpsed before the blindfold.

“Please, Crowley! I … I’m begging you! Don’t …”

“Sorry, angel. I want this too much. I need this too much.”

Crowley doesn’t give Aziraphale time to get comfortable. He grabs him, shoves his face to the sheets, spreads his cheeks apart, lines his cock with the angel’s entrance, and pushes in. Pushes hard.

It doesn’t hurt, but Aziraphale cries out.

Crowley curls black painted nails into the soft skin of Aziraphale’s hips, leaving bruises that rival the scars on his back. But even through this facade of violence, Aziraphale feels Crowley’s love. He still tries to make this good for Aziraphale. Crowley leans forward, presses the odd kiss against his skin, plays with speed and angles, searching out new spots that will make Aziraphale’s eyes roll, his back arch and his toes curl, make him moan louder despite himself. The thought that others are watching should make Aziraphale burn with embarrassment but he doesn’t care.

It’s been so long.

And he’s missed Crowley so much.

“No …” Aziraphale whispers, the fight fading from his voice. “Don’t … stop … d-don’t stop …”

“I claim you, angel,” Crowley growls. “Soon you’ll feel my fire inside of you. From this day forward, you can never escape me. I’ll be able to find you from here to the ends of the Earth. You’re mine. You belong to me.”

“Oh …” Aziraphale squeaks. Crowley’s words sound rehearsed but they feel real.

Like a vow.

“Yes,” Aziraphale moans beyond improvisation. “Yes, I … I belong to you. Claim me, demon …” he continues, his voice dissolving into gasps. “Claim me … I’m yours …”

Crowley shudders at those words.

‘Oh, Aziraphale.’

‘Crowley …’

‘I love you …’

‘I love you, too.’

“Oh,” Aziraphale sighs. “Oh Go---”

Crowley grabs a handful of Aziraphale’s hair, pulls his head back and crashes their mouths together before he can finish. “She’s not here right now,” he says, his voice heavy with anger and regret. “Your words belong to me, angel. Your moans, your whimpers, they’re mine. Say it!”

“They’re … they’re yours. All yours. I …”

Crowley cuts him off with a kiss, his body shaking as he comes inside his angel. Aziraphale follows, his knees giving out, sliding out from under him. He lands on his belly with Crowley on top of him.

His favorite position to be in, all things considered.

Through his orgasmic haze and the utter joy of coming in Crowley’s arms, he hears a mass of uncomfortable whispering, some sinister laughter, and one derisive snort.

Aziraphale feels the demons retreat, slide into the shadows, evaporating into the black.

“They’re … they’re satisfied,” Crowley pants, the relief in his voice seeping through Aziraphale’s skin and winding around his heart. “They’re going back to Hell. Hastur isn’t happy about it but they … they won’t hurt us.”

Hastur.

Aziraphale’s breath hitches.

Hastur was there.

A Duke of Hell.

Aziraphale had convinced himself that the demons in the room were minions. Underlings. He had no reason to believe that, really. No proof. It’s simply something he assumed.

But Hastur?

Who else had been there? Who else had watched?

Beelzebub maybe?

Will they report to Satan?

To the Archangels!?

Aziraphale knows that some of the higher demons do.

Will Michael find out? Uriel?

Will Gabriel?

Too soon, the warm glow of satiation, of being wrapped in Crowley’s arms again, his cock buried inside his body, siphons into the chill around them.

“I … I don’t want to stay here,” Aziraphale says, starting to shiver.

“Neither do I.” Crowley unfurls his own wings. He curls them around Aziraphale, wrapping them both up tight. Then, with a snap of his fingers, angel and demon disappear.

***

“It was a test,” Crowley explains, lying side by side with his angel in a different bed, a different room, grooming Aziraphale’s wings with careful fingers. “I wasn’t performing up to par for Hastur. I failed my performance review.” He chuckles. “First time in history. So I had to come up with something big. Something that would get them off my back for a few centuries.” From behind, arms wrapped around him, his chest pressed to Aziraphale’s back, Aziraphale feels Crowley swallow hard. “Hastur was adamant it was your fault. My associations with you, no matter how few and far between, were making me soft. They were planning on coming after you to get to me. I had to do something to get us both off their radar. Corrupting an angel …” Another hard swallow “… was the worst thing I could think of.”

Aziraphale smirks. “Little do they know I corrupted you a long time ago, my dear.”

“It was selfish, a-and it was wrong,” Crowley stumbles. “And I’m …”

Aziraphale tilts his head back, kisses Crowley gently on the lips. “I didn’t despise it, my love. I quite like role-playing with you. Maybe, someday, we could do it again. When it’s just you and me.”

“I didn’t want to turn you into a spectacle,” Crowley says, refusing to let Aziraphale absolve him so easily. “That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t want to humiliate you. I just … I didn’t know what else to do. I …”

Aziraphale kisses Crowley again when he feels tears roll down his cheeks that aren’t his own.

“You kept me safe,” Aziraphale whispers. “The way you promised. And I’m not going to lose you. We won’t lose each other. It was worth it.”

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