#and for anyone that knows me that is a HUGE deal

[harucchii]

Why ARE you proud of your asexuality, exactly? And how did and does it shape how you are as a person, having a natural lack of sexual attraction to anyone? What makes it important enough to celebrate? I'm asking genuinely because I don't understand and would like to. Thank you.

Hi! happy pride month :D

I am proud of my asexuality because is a part of me!! is something that affects the way i see people and for obvious reasons my relationships and trying to hide it or change will only lead me to be miserable

through my whole life i experienced things differently when it comes to attraction to people, i never seemed to develope crushes on my classmates or celebrities, cause i just.. didint care? to a point my mom got worried and straight up asked me if i was gay because my lack of interest "was not normal"

when i was in my first long term relationship my lack of sexual needs and desire was a huge issue that would lead on fights very often and my former partner to feel unloved as i would prefer just to cuddle or watch a movie. This back and foward with him and constant fights made me feel like efectibly was somethign wrong with me and transformed sex more of a chore than something im supposed to enjoy or want

thing which developed a huge sexual trauma on me but also helped me to understand that, that relationship would never work because i just could never deliver what he wanted and his needs were different than mine. we were just hurting each other

i also got sent to doctors by my mother as to find what was "wrong" with me as my lack of sexual needs was not "normal" for her

there is so much i had to deal and endure my whole adulthood because of this, because i experience thigns differently

now. more big and more mature i can confidently say, im asexual. I celebrate my asexuality because There was nothign wrong with me and the way i experience thigns is just different

i celebrate it and i mention it as an important part of myself because i know i will not be able to be in a fullfiling relationship if my partner is not aware of this fact or not willing to accept it

i celebrate it because doctors didnt found anything wrong in me and i just love differently. and asuming that lack of sexual attraction is part of an illness hurts people who might be dealing with this feelings!

I celebrate because in a hyper sexualized world i dont really seem to fit in, AND THAT IS OKAY, because the way i live my life should not affect others and they way they live theirs

i do feel romantic attraction! i can fall in love and love other person!! but i just cant deliver what most people would be expect in a relationship and that is okay!

And finally i celebrate to ensure online that the people who experience love differently just like me are not alone in this journey and will be okay :3. just a lil bit of emotional support for who might feel broken due what others say to them

I apologize if i repeat myself or i wronte something wrong as english is not my main language

have a good day!

#asexual #asexuality #pride month #happy pride 🌈

[weird-an]

"You know, the weirdest thing happened today," Wilson begins casually, but in the way House knows he's internally shaking with anticipation. "HR asked for my marriage certificate."

"Which one?" House asks, sucking loudly on his strawberry milkshake - well, technically Wilson's, but who can really tell.

"The one from this month," Wilson says, his big eyes all knowing. "They even congratulated me."

"Peculiar." House keeps himself busy with the milkshake.

"June is a good month to get married," Wilson continues and his fingers tap nervously on House's desk. "But I can't remember getting married."

"If you repeat an act often enough, it becomes forgettable," House offers innocently like he hasn't tried to forge Wilson's signature to the perfection until he was able to send it. With an extensive, dramatic story of an illness that made it impossible for anyone to meet him or witness the ceremony. It's a rather terrible condition - being House's husband.

"I don't remember you proposing," Wilson grits his teeth.

"That was you," House says truthfully, because he's still got the ring. "In public!"

"I repeat: I don't remember getting married either. House, what were you thinking?" Wilson doesn't sound as upset as he thinks he is.

"We drank a bottle of champagne that evening." Wilson just didn't know what they were celebrating. It was definitely not House skipping clinic duty for the sixth week in a row - he isn't an amateur after all.

"Why are we married and why didn't you tell me?" Wilson grabs House by the collar. House nearly isn't able to set the milkshake aside, but somehow manages.

"You're so close to swearing happily forever after to yet another nurse," House explains, staring Wilson into his huge stupid beautiful eyes. "But the only relationship you keep investing into is ours."

Wilson opens his mouth and closes it again. He's wearing his fuck me cologne. House resents it for its meaning, but it smells good on him.

"But what about the sex?" he asks, still tugging at House's collar.

"Wow, that's your only worry?" House is a little surprised, he didn’t think it would be that easy. "Not the drugs but the penis?"

Wilson's eyes flicker down.

Gotcha, House thinks. Bye bye heterosexuality.

"Only one way to find out," Wilson says, pressing his lips on House. House kisses him back with all the longing he had saved for years now.

Wilson tastes as good as he looks.

"Glad we saved that one for marriage," House jokes, a bit out of breath.

"You owe me a honeymoon and a bachelor's party," Wilson grumbles.

House can deal with that.

#house absolutely would do that #he's got the tickets and karamel booked already #hatecrimes md #gregory house #james wilson #hilson #house md #house x wilson

[the-badger-mole]

Swept Away

Katara took a deep breath. In through her nose. Out through her mouth. She wasn't nervous. Not really. Not in the sense that other people mean when they say they're nervous. She wasn't scared. She was eager. In a few short minutes, she would be a wife. She would be Zuko's wife. He was going to be her husband.

"Are you sure about this?" Suki asked for the thousandth time. "Really sure?"

"I am." Katara opened her eyes and turned to her sister-in-law. She couldn't fight the smile that spread over her face. "I'm more sure of this than anything in my life. Zuko's it. He's the one."

"Katara," Suki sighed. "Look, I get it. Zuko's incredibly hot. He's smart. He...seems really nice, but-"

"Suki," Katara started to say, but she didn't get a chance to complete her thought.

"Katara, you've known him three months!" Suki burst out. "You've only been dating for eight weeks! You are the most straight laced person I've ever met. Why are you doing something this...impulsive? You're not impulsive!"

"What are you talking about?" Katara turned from the mirror to face Suki directly. "I'm exactly this impulsive. Don't you remember Jang Hui? My protest about gender equality for STEM fields at the North Pole? The time I started a rally for prison reform?"

"Okay, fine," Suki relented, rolling her eyes. "When it comes to social justice, you are very impulsive. But, this? Katara, you're getting married! Without your dad here. Without your GranGran! I know how much they mean to you."

"They mean the world to me," Katara agreed. "But you know I've never cared about a huge wedding. I love Zuko. I love him. I don't see why I should have to wait to make him my husband just because it would take too long for Dad to fly over to see us get married. We'll have a big party...a huge one later. And everyone we love will get to meet and celebrate. But this feels right!"

"Right?" Suki snorted. "It feels right to get married without telling anyone but me and your brother?"

"Yeah," Katara said. A wistful smile tugged at her lips. "I know it sounds crazy, but...I can't wait to marry him. I literally cannot wait. I've never felt this way about anyone. You know! I know you do. Sokka told me you and he started talking about marriage two months in." Suki rolled her eyes skyward and groaned.

"Yeah, talking about it!" Suki repeated it. "We didn't actually get engaged until a year in! We got married on our second anniversary!"

"Zuko and I don't want to wait that long," Katara laughed. "So we've on a faster timeline. So what?"

"What if there are things you don't like about him?" Suki pressed. "What if he's....I don't know...super anal about the way you put toilet paper on the roll? What if he doesn't wash his feet in the shower? What if he...he hates cats?"

"Did you know Sokka's every annoying habit when you married him?" Katara challenged. Suki made a face at her and sucked her teeth.

"No," she admitted. "But I knew a few of them! I knew enough to know that I could deal with the biggest ones."

"So do I," Katara said. "I know that Zuko likes his food unreasonably spicy. I know that when he's angry, he shuts down and needs a day or two before he can talk about it calmly. I know he thinks rom-coms are a wasted of a perfectly good evening. But I also know that he already values my opinion and will make decisions with me. I know he's put in so much work unlearning toxic traits he was taught as a child, way before he and I met. I know he has the softest heart underneath the hard layers. In three months, he's become one of my closest friends. I trust him, and he trusts me. I love him, Suki. I want to marry him now.

"Um..." Suki swiped at her eyes with her knuckles, and blinked rapidly against more tears. "I get that. I do! I just don't want you to regret doing it this way. I don't want you to regret not having Dad here to walk you down the aisle. Or not having Gran Gran help you into your gown. Don't you want a first dance with Zuko?

Katara turned back to the mirror and considered her reflection. As a girl, she had pictured her wedding. Her dressed in silk and looking the best she's ever looked, and her father walking with her to meet her husband. It was exactly as Suki said, with her dancing with her new husband while people took pictures and tossed confetti. Her extended family together and celebrating.

"I don't need it," she told Suki. "Did you know that the only family that Zuko has is his uncle? His mother is dead. His father is a monster. His sister won't speak to him. He wouldn't be alone- he has friends- but, it wouldn't be the same. Plus crowds make him anxious.

"So he asked for this?" Suki frowned. "He wanted to get married at City Hall?

"No, this was my idea," Katara assured her best friend. "He said he was fine with whatever I wanted. But Zuko's an introvert, and a little agoraphobic. The only buffer he would have would be me and his uncle. He wouldn't enjoy himself. Not as much as I would want. There will be plenty of time later to celebrate with the people we love. But not all at once.

"Dad won't like it," Suki warned. Katara shrugged.

"He'll get over it once I explain it to him," she said. "And he'll love Zuko. They have a lot in common."

Suki stared at Katara for a long while, wracking her brains for something, anything to say to her sister-in-law. She came up frustratingly empty. She should have more objections to her best friend and sister marrying someone she's only known a few months. Katara was convincing. She was very convincing when she wanted to be. Finally, Suki threw her hands up in surrender. If Katara was making a mistake, then the next best thing Suki and Sokka could do was make sure they were at least close enough to help her if she needed it.

"Sokka's not thrilled," she told Katara. "I promised him I'd talk sense into you before it was too late."

"It's been too late for a while," Katara chuckled. Suki nodded and laughed with her.

"I see that now," she said. "Sokka's going to be so disappointed."

"I hope that won't cause any issues with you guys," Katara's brow drew down in worry. Suki just waved her off, though.

"Nah," she said. "I'll just tell him I'm pregnant if he gets too riled up." Katara gasped and leapt up from her seat.

"Are you joking?" she squealed. Suki grinned and shook her head.

"I just found out a couple of days ago," she said. "I was going to take him out to the game this weekend and have it announced on the jumbotron, but I'll use it to distract him from your questionable decision making if I need to."

"I'm so happy for you!" Katara said pulling Suki in for a hug. Suki hugged her back tightly.

"I'm happy for you, too." And to her surprise, Suki realized she meant it.

#atla #zutara #katara and suki #surprise! we got married! #hakoda took it better than anyone expected #katara was right #after she explained why they did what they did he was cool with it #iroh is surprisingly more upset #but it doesn't last that long #he gets over it in a week

[fckedupnerd]

This mf was the hottest Mat has ever been and nobody can convince me otherwise. Fickelgruber the one true love of my LIFE. 💚💚💚💚

#wonka 2023 #mathew baynton #mat baynton #fickelgruber #felix fickelgruber #only man ever #I love him SO MUCH #hottest Mat character for me now #yes he even surpassed Sam Pinkett #and for anyone that knows me that is a HUGE deal #but WHEW this man right here #fucking perfect #he is so gorgeous #if evil why sexy #main character energy frfr #fuck I want so much fic of Slugworth domming him pls #is that so much to ask #I’m not very good at writing the sex part of fic #but god I hope people who are good at that part imprint on these two and especially Felix as much as I have because WOW I need it #down so bad #will never recover from this film #wonka #wonka movie #ficklegruber

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

#chilaios #that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao #HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID #they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well. #and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah.... #'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact. #she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns. #'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ... #that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked. #'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver #to see chilchuck . BEET. RED. #because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW. #She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach #miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in #she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing? #chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT #AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO #chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear. #Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that. #between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks - #'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums. #rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit. #i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way. #i think . I think it's hot. #enough to turn you to drink isn't it! #u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant? #does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it #a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world. #whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care #lesbiance

[kunfetti]

thank you, moonbin. rest in peace.

#moonbin #it's been an emotional few days and I've had so much trouble processing and dealing with this #I got into kpop in one of the lowest moments in my life - and it/the community has helped me get through more than I thought I could #Moonbin and Astro were a huge part of that #This hurt - it hurt a lot more than I thought it ever would #I can't even begin to imagine what Sua - the rest of Moonbin's family - Astro & his close friends are feeling #All of my thoughts are with them #And to every other fan struggling with this: you aren't alone #And if anyone needs to talk - please reach out #I know there are a lot of incredible fans on here who are willing to help - and I'll do my best to make myself available for anyone #addy.gifs

[possamble]

Post. That. Sad. CHIAPTER.

I genuinely appreciate this so much but that poll is not encouraging so far LMAO

#asks #fic #a little creature #i mean i know it's ultimately up to me and not even a big deal at the end of the day #so thank you for indulging my ridiculous people pleaser anxiety LMFAO mostly it's just #60% of the reason i even post my stuff is to make people happy so im kind of like. yeeg. #knowing that ffxiv 7.0 is going to fucking nuke my schedule for any non-work writing... this might be a little much #and it's like. i put it as a poll bc i know it's a huge bummer to tell someone *not* to post something they've been working on #and i wanted to gauge the general sentiment without putting that kind of pressure on anyone #i think at this point i am going to post it as soon as its done bc ive been working on it too hard #and if i start resenting it then it's all over #but i am gonna take some extra time to add in that final scene ive been waffling over to soften the blow #i was planning to cut it bc it's not like 100% necessary it just adds more flavour to the existing stuff #but if i might have to leave the next update for another couple months it's probably better to end it on like a softer flashback

[lovelaceisntdead]

So. Chappell Roan.

#my friend took most of these because my five year old samsung could not cope #i will be talking about this forever btw. i don't leave my house ever. #yeah these photos are awful sorry we were being in the moment #i had SO much fun #this was a HUGE deal for me too and I'm really proud of myself #i managed to stand the whole time! #didn't faint didn't lose any limb function didn't even really dissociate that much #also. does anyone know the bassists @. asking for a friend. #i also looked really fucking hot i would like that on the record. #posting these mostly for me and also B #Chappell Roan

[cloud-somersault]

I literally can't stand the way this stupid chapter went down. Chapter 7 has been a pain my ass the entire time, I can't even look at it without being pissed. And now posting it has left everyone confused, and I hate that added on confusion, as if this AU didn't have enough going on

I know it's not a big deal, but I hate disorganized things. I think it reflects badly on me and makes me look like I don't have my shit together, plus I deadass cannot stand what I wrote!! Even now!!

Ugh, can we all collectively forget about this...stupid reordering of chapters. I'm so pessimistic about it, and I'm glad I didn't delete it, but it's hard to see the silver lining right now

#constellations fic #this is such a huge fuck up in an otherwise crisp chapter release schedule #im a week behind. and now im doubting everything #i hate that people dont know whats going on even with my notes #because it's going to be confusing. to everyone. i cant expect people to remember chapter titles #or the order of them. most don't even read them #for people to remember is a big deal but like #with how spread out updates are. thats wishful thinking #i honestly dont expect anyone to remember anything. when they do I'm so surprised #i just wanted to make this as easy as possible #and I'm so fucking tired #i can't do long things like this anymore. there were too many elements #this is why i thrive with longass chapters #doing it this way is such a pain. it's not for me

[monstersandmaw]

non-drider fans who follow me, you can come out again now. I've reached the end of my drider reblogging frenzy. i'm going to go write the drider lad commission, and then maybe make some dinner so you're safe from spooders for now

#drider #sorry for anyone who's not here for spooder monsters #i know there are a few of you who can't stand them #i just think they're neat #but i get it as someone who used to be HIGHLY spooder-not-cool #actually loving driders helped me be way more chill about real-world spooders #i can catch and release spooders now without having a meltdown #mainly because they're harmless (house spooders are huge by UK standards though) even if they're a bit spoopy #if i had to deal with an actual danger spooder i might not be chill #oh man catch me waffling in the tags again #this is what a week of very very little sleep does to a ghosti #insomnia whoop #anyway no more drider reblobs for now

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

#sophie speaks #tw vent #like. what. what??? #i do try not to upset anyone with trauma dumping or whatever but sometimes that bites me in the ass because people assume I'm not strugglin #struggling hugely #had one of my most violent meltdowns ever recently and it was after pushing myself to do something #and you know. thats on me #but saying like #im NOT trying?? #i dont want to start any problems but oh my GOD what do you think being sick constantly does to a person #what??? #trying to be a proper adult here but i am quite upset #idk how are you supposed to deal with shit like this #express this has upset you and that you are having a hard time #but then they dont believe you?? #trauma dump it is. hope you enjoy my psychiatrists notes #like im level 2 support needs autistic. i need a little fucking leeway or i genuinely try to kill myself #i KNOW its pathetic i KNOW its weak but my number one priority is keep myself alive #im so tired #ive been suicidal for like 7 years now #my life sucks so incredibly hard and I'm in constant pain and that just #it doesnt make me willing to deal with this shit #cripplepunk core lmao #cripple and im going to kill you #this is just geniunely upsetting #i feel like i need a good cry #i really am so tired #i feel like i just dont want to do this #why am i paying for this? why am i doing this? #if im not enjoying this why the fuck would i do it

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i want to compile a list of horror media that people need to watch before they call genloss groundbreaking incredible material. like yall are soooo so deeply entrenched in copium toting this thing around like its the best piece of horror media in the world when like. theres no horror. there has literally been no horror. how are we watching the same thing. go watch gemini home entertainment or marble hornets or daisy brown or unedited footage of a bear or this house has people in it and then come back to me. dont fucking talk to me until youve consumed some horror media thats actually good first!!!!!!!!

#sorry i KNOW i said i wouldnt genloss post too much but it just makes me so fucking angry #as a very very very long term horror enthusiast and aspiring horror creator #i feel fucking insulted every time i see genloss being listed as something incredible . when. #theres no horror or comedy in your horror comedy that was originally advertised for two goddamn years as an arg n then analog horror and th #like. pick a theme. give me literally anything. its so bad. im so angry. and i DONT get angry at media. #i actively try not to grt angry at media and legitimately havent since veryyyy early middle school. #so the fsct that this thing is making me so mad is a huge deal. #anyone who has known me for any number of years knows like. i dont get mad about shit!!! #especiallt shit that doesnt rlly matter like fictional media!!! i dont like to expend the energy on that!!! #so when i say genloss makes me so angry to the point where i was literally #sweaty and out of breath after aster and i got off the phone talking abt it the other day #i need you to understand i am not a hater #like #ughgrrghrggghghh #go fucking watch saw (2004) youll have a much better time than watching whatever bs this is #ranboo makes this big long post about how his project is better than aevery other horror short film #and doesnt deserve to be put on a shelf with the rest of them as if theyre beneath his genius vision #and then gives us this cheap heartless garbage that isnt even unique in its badness. #hes just using ideas from other things but doing it worse!!!!!! theres nothing new!!! theres nothing unique!!! #two years of promotional content and like 5 hours of livestreams and they have not given me a single #character or story beat that is interesting enouhj to care about. you cant have horror without first #giving your audience something to care about and then snatching that thing away from them. urhhggghghghgh #reaction time #genloss neg #genloss crit #sorry. im trying to keep the hater posting to a minimum but im so. exhausted

[ehlnofay]

in the midst of a little depressive episode at the moment I fear and it's causing me to Ponder... in a weird way I'm almost grateful. like this is UNBELIEVABLY better than it used to be, even as much as it sucks in the moment. I wish I could go back to find myself at twelve years old hiding out in the school toilets and tell them that as long as we stick it out for long enough then one day the outsize bad emotions will be triggered by actual definable events and they'll be a noticeable change from our baseline. I'm not ✨recovered✨ and I don't know if I ever will be - I think I might have spent too many developmental years creating terrible patterns and associations to be able to straighten it all out - but it's Better and I'm able to know that it can continue to get better, too. and that's fucking huge.

#fay gets uncomfortably personal on her video game blog. NOT SORRY. #idk it's just crazy to think about #I really struggle to tap into this space enough to remember when I'm not actively in it #but I was SO FUCKING SICK back then. I was a child. and I was so fucking ill. I didn't know how young I was and I didn't realise how #disturbing it would feel down the line #(obviously. you don't lie down on the road in the middle of the night thinking 'I can't wait to suddenly remember this moment #in several years so it can become a sticking point in my psyche') #but like. that's my brother's age that's my sister's age I work with kids that age and it's so fucking young! and I'm so young now! #and I bet in five years I'll be going 'what a small little child... crazy' all over again #but like. idk. I was SO ILL. and I don't think it's like people say they thought they'd be dead by a certain age #it was a possibility for me but not an inevitability #but I don't think that I could have foreseen being better #in such a material way. you know. like I can't imagine myself ever fully healthy #or as close as anyone can get. I've had all this shit for so long. the idea of not carrying it anymore is honestly unappealing #like what would I even do without it. who would I be. how could that possibly happen #but this shit is BELIEVABLE. it's not gone it's just better and when it crops up I can deal #and I wish I could take the me of back then by the shoulders and say THIS IS NOT FOREVER!!!!!!! #ride it out long enough and you'll learn to live with it!!!!!!!! #it's just. really fucking huge. and I am so grateful #peace and love on planet earth!!!!

[hella1975]

Hi hella! I love love your writing and have done so for years and liked your posts but above all else I am a social media lurker at heart. But I wanted to tell you that following you for so long I’ve seen you go off to college and strike out on your own. Your self reflection and how you move through your life is so inspiring. I feel like your proud distant auntie sometimes cheering you on from afar. Growing up and going through school and into your adulthood is so confusing and frustrating and depressing sometimes but I’m a bit on the other side now and can tell you you’re doing so well. Absolutely killing it and it’s a privilege to read about. Your openness often has me reflect on my own life! I appreciate you bestie 🫶

reading this was genuinely so emotional BESTIE WHAT THE HELL

#IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE I PROMISE I MEAN THIS IN THE MOST POSITIVE OF WAYS #because it just made me really reflective ig? like so much of my life and so many of my issues surround this huge isolation #either ive been made to feel isolated or ive used isolation as a coping mechanism or even that i romanticised my own capacity for it #but regardless i have a really rigid acceptance that im on my own through life #and as a kid that was terrifying and was probably what got me in my head so much #like staring at the enormity of it all and going 'i am alone. i am a singular vessel whose intricacies are inaccessible to anyone else' #and that is TERRIFYING. and yes while it will always be true to an extent ive realised it doesnt have to be entirely #you can share yourself with others and find love in that and friendships and it's taken me years but this year more than any #i feel like ive finally come out of a very long dark tunnel and no one else around me has any idea that any of this is a big deal to me #bc they never had any idea what i was going through #but like?? at some point or another you guys started tagging along and i overshared a shit ton lmao #and a lot of you have been here for YEARS and like. wtf you're RIGHT ive taken you guys along with me for everything #my sexuality crisis my writing journey getting a new job starting uni going into second year making and losing friendships #testing out romance listening to music watching new shows. like every part of myself that's too small and silly to share irl is something #i tell you guys without a second thought like i started this when i was SEVENTEEN and now im twenty you guys have acc watched me grow #im so emotional over this esp bc lately ive focussed mainly on the DOWNSIDES of me being online in these years #idk i needed this more than you know bestie tysm for sticking by my side and same for the rest of you <3 ily ily ily #ask

[weirdlizard26]

so bizarre to me that my love language is apparently recording music for people. how did this even happen

#wl26 #<- little weirdo #SORRY I LIKE MUSIC AND THE ACT OF SHARING IT!!!!!!!!!! #i feel rly guilty abt it sometimes bc it feels so selfish. like hi i made art and im showing it to you so you can look at or listen to it #and you might not like it but i made it for you specifically because its related to something you enjoy #but its not actually the thing you enjoy. its just something that i made about it because i also enjoy it #and im scared the ways we enjoy it are completely different which means youre gonna hate the thing i made #but i will show it to you anyways because i love you and its the only way i know to say it #n a couple of time ive wanted to write a song for someone and gotten so excited about it and then had the horrible realization that #this is so. so oddly specific to me and this is just something i do out of love for friends #and it really isnt any bigger of a deal than any other handmade gift #and i think it can easily qualify as a handmade gift even though it doesnt involve making anything with hands #except for sounds i suppose #but yeah its just something i do. but. outside of my tiny little world. writing a song for someone might seem like such a huge gesture #and i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable or have the wrong idea about me or think that im doing a big thing to get something in return #and idk why im so scared of that like ive never been in a situation where people misunderstood me like that #but i guess. the very concept of being misunderstood is so painful to me gdfkgjd #this wasnt supposed to turn into a big post sorry. just want a normal brain that doesnt make me feel guilty abt everything please #wouldnt that be so nice #this isnt rly abt anything btw i was just going through my music folder. listening to my stuff from 2018 #5 years... god

[heybaetae]

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#sent my mom those bts x harry photos this morning thinking she’d find it cool #since she likes harry #but she literally just. didn’t care and it kind of hurt bc it’s such a huge deal for me #to see him and the boys in the same frame #i thought i’d get some kind of reaction and i just didn’t #so i felt kinda shitty about it #but then my younger sister came over and she came in my room to look around #and started asking me questions about bts while looking at my pc collection #and then she let me pretty much give her a two hour crash course on bts #while asking questions and letting me show her music videos while she tried to study their names/faces better #and it made me feel good bc i never have anyone around to talk to them about out loud in detail #or rave about them with or anything bc my parents don’t careeee so i suppress it all #and i literally said to her ‘i never get to talk about them’ so she just. let me #mind you my sister and i butted heads so much when we were younger bc we’re so close in age #we have very different music tastes #she will likely never stan bts and that’s FINEEE lol #but it’s nice that she respects my love for them and has even gifted me things/merch and keeps her eyes open for things #knowing how much they mean to me #she’s the only one in my family who really supports it without any weird resistance or fakeness like my parents do #even if they do sometimes try to show interest i know it’s not that genuine #anyway long post just feeling nice that my sister cared about the most important thing in my life even just for a little bit