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#and how he is able to make mistakes
worstloki · 7 months
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Thor 1 has so much banger dialogue and visuals that are that way because of the very specific context they’re in and I love that for them despite all the tilted angle shots 💯✨👍
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luck-of-the-drawings · 2 months
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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There isn't much discourse about how Mike went from saying that El was a weapon in s1, even encouraging the others to use El's powers when she was still recuperating after finding Will in the void, to then in s3 accusing the others of being reckless with her powers, saying she's risking her life for no reason.
Now, I want to make clear that I'm not bashing Mike here, this has less to do with what he's doing being right or wrong. What this is about is how Mike went from doing something himself, to calling out other people for doing it, without acknowledging that fact and why the writers chose to frame it all this way.
You might think it's insignificant, but these two following scenes are clearly being paralleled to each other. And so the fact that Mike himself is acknowledging this as something to be critical of, makes me wonder what exactly is going on in his mind...
I want to preface this scene from s1 by saying that Mike is giving very off vibes here. I know that I certainly viewed this scene as romantic the first time I saw it, but since rewatching it recently, I was getting completely different vibes.
They literally make a point to focus on Mike being distracted, on the verge of impatience. Then, the way El reacts upon Mike getting up abruptly, gives this feeling of uncertainty about Mike's consideration for her in this moment, as she's clearly not what's on the top of his mind right now. And it just makes you wonder, are we truly supposed to be feeling peak romance rn?
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I never realized how out of place this scene was until now (or is it...). It's just such an odd choice to have El resting her head on Mike's shoulder for comfort, only for Mike to cut it short with him being distracted, and with Dustin and El looking awkwardly at Mike like "Okay?...", then followed by a scene where he's trying to convince the others to use El's powers to help.
Here we have s1 Mike displaying behavior that s3 Mike was calling out the others for displaying:
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Here we have Lucas, who was very, very critical of El being dangerous ALL of s1, and yet now in complete contrast to that, he is showing more consideration and common sense for El's well being than Mike, the supposed love (at first sight) interest ...
'That's the most important thing, remember?'
A question, followed by Mike just standing there in silence, like he's only just now really thinking about El being safe as their main priority... This is something that combined with everything else unfolding over the course of this season and the seasons after, that makes Mike's behavior a whole lot easier to understand.
I'll have to make several other posts about this, because there are a lot of aspects to it, but for now I'm just going to focus on these two parallels.
Here we have what happens in s3, with Mike being critical of the others doing something he himself literally did in s1:
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In fact, how careless all of you are.
THIS. When Mike makes it a big deal to call out everyone for doing something he himself has already done, he's outright admitting that it's something that he believes is wrong, and by not even slightly acknowledging his role in doing something similar in the past, it's very likely that he feels guilty about it.
This was probably his way of trying to make it right, by standing up for El in a way that he didn't before because he was treating her like some superhero and not a real person back then.
It's just that the word love slipped out, in the heat of the moment. And El, upon overhearing this, is seeing this development of Mike herself, with s1 Mike going from, yes being more kind and considerate than the other 2 boys in the beginning, but still sort of expecting stuff from her without her being able to verbally agree to it, to now having developed and changed to saying that one of his big priorities is her safety.
El is taking this as being evidence he went from not loving her, to loving her. Another reason why it's pretty obvious El didn't believe Mike's monologue, bc she herself witnessed Mike develop his apparent romantic feelings for her over time, and so him saying it was love at first sight, was probably the catalyst that made it abundantly clear to her that he wasn't being truthful, bc she knows it's not the truth. She's not stupid.
Again this isn't about Mike doing this back then or even the others doing it now as being bad vs. good, this is about the writers going about it this way, sending a message that Mike feels guilt, enough to try to make things right, but is apparently not ready to unpack the actual guilt that is beneath the surface which lead him to this point.
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And then there's this scene, which... it's actually terrifying how obvious it is they instructed Sadie and Caleb to lean out of that shot with Will and Mike reacting to El entering the room... Like... It's SOO obvious when you watch it now what they're trying to hint at without saying it.
Not only are they hinting at Will's feelings, because that is part of it, they're also hinting at Mike's internal struggle. Will is always on the back of his mind whether he's willing to address it or not. And all while that is happening, he is feeling unaddressed guilt about how he treated El when they first met and spent that one week together helping her run away from the bad guys while also looking for Will, something Mike viewed as being worthy of El using her powers...
I'll have to make the other posts regarding this soon, because it all starts to click what's going on with Mike when you look at all of these things together.
While Mike is just a kid like pretty much everyone else in this story, and while he didn't mean any harm by asking El to help them find Will (none of them did), I think that's kind of the whole point?
I think that he got lucky superman landed on his doorstep, who just so happened to be in danger herself, giving him his own purpose to help her too, with her needing him as well, and so it became a situation where they both needed each other.
But because El could literally not speak, it's not like she could really voice her feelings about things they were doing, beyond yes and no. She had Lucas sort of being critical of her, with Mike encouraging El to do things that would make the others see her as being worthy of sticking around so they can find Will. It goes without saying she felt obligated to do these things, even if they didn't outright tell her she had to or else. We literally see almost all of these scenes with her doing stuff for the others being instantly juxtaposed with scenes of Brenner doing the same. It's not the same scale of severity, but it is an acknowledgment that although she is outside of the lab, she still feels like her powers are what define her and it's all people want from her.
I think what it comes down to, is that in that moment when she is sacrificing herself to the demogorgan at the end of s1, we are seeing in real time Mike realizing what he and the other's have been asking of her this whole time, without outright asking her.
And you can literally see the retaliation and devastation hit him all at once. The instant regret, where he's backtracking and El stops him from even trying.
'Goodbye Mike' singles him out, because while he was the one out of the three that showed her the most kindness from the start, he was also the one who at the end of it all, was still expecting her to risk her life for them...
And that just makes it hit so much harder when you think about how that made Mike feel in that moment.
And then in s2 how that impacts Mike and his journey going forward.
His breakdown at the end of s2 upon her return.
His behavior in s3-4, in relation to him juggling his relationship with Will and El, now that they are both in his life at the same time.
It all starts to make sense.
I won't go too much into it because those other posts are bound to be long with a bunch of pictures too!
But on that note, there's at least one thing Mike isn't acknowledging, and it's literally what led up to the unintentional love confession that then led us to 10 more episodes of miscommunication because of it...
It's going to be important for him to address this guilt for him to fulfill his arc and to also close off his expectations that he has to have a romantic relationship with El in order to keep her in his life at all.
The audience themselves seeing this and being forced to face it is also going to make it a lot easier for them understand why Mike did what he did, not only because he's a queer kid in the 80's who has every reason to doubt and repress, but also because he understandably feels sort of indebted to El after everything.
It's more complex than him just falling out of love with her and falling in love with Will because of XYZ.
I think there is a lot of guilt and shame and trauma connected to their meeting and the events that followed. And addressing that is going to give a lot of closure to the ending of the story and also the beginning.
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#i feel like mikes arc always comes off as convoluted to most viewers bc they’re missing the whole picture#like this is literally canon#Mike went from doing something to saying other people doing it was wrong without acknowledging his role in that from the beginning#and so ppl using that development as aww he loves her now…#doesn’t even work when apparently he loved her since the moment he saw her…#not being willing to pay attention to how they are building up mikes arc#dancing around all of his actions with#everyone makes mistakes bc they’re children and that’s okay#and just leave it at that…#bc yes obviously all of the characters should be able to make mistakes and be forgiven#but were ignoring the elephant in the room here#it’s canon Mike feels guilt for how he treated el in s1 yet he hasn’t acknowledged it…#instead of acknowledging his history of doing something similar#he’s pointed out everyone else doing it as if they’re doing something wrong he himself would never do…#as if he doesn’t have first hand experience#they could have actually made this moment romantic and genuine IF they wanted to#they could have had mike open up about how he used to do that#but after getting to know el and realize she is her own person#it made him think differently and he wants to do better by her#then maybe when she confronted him in front of everyone he could have said it again or asked to be alone to say it to her directly#and to apologize for how he acted in the past by expecting stuff of her#and THATS why he is extra cautious now#and then got her reaction#instead they give fans the impression Mike is the ideal male love interest#who is perfect for el#with this moment being one of their top reasons#and it’s a scene where he avoids confronting series long built up guilt…
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sciderman · 9 months
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What are some things cable likes about peter?
nathan's type:
red mask ✅ tight suit ✅ kind of stupid ✅ filters sadness through the prism of humour ✅
bonuses peter parker has to offer
cute hair ✅ cute butt ✅ cute everything ✅
#sci speaks#i think cable likes how upstanding peter is. like peter's just a good guy. he's such a good guy.#and i think. being able to read people's thoughts. nate probably doesn't know a lot of people as Good as peter.#like peter's good because he's kind of just... simple. he has simple wants and desires and he's not ever angling for anything.#peter's just so good. and i think nathan is definitely fond on him because of that.#i know i complain about this mindset that peter is pure of heart yadda yadda#I HATE that. i hate the trope where peter's like an angel who is pure of heart. he's not. but.#he's not deceptive or hungry for power or morally righteous or anything. he's just a guy. and that makes him better than most heroes.#i think that's something to admire peter for - that he doesn't let power go to his head and he's flawed but not in a superhuman sort of way#he's flawed in a human sort of way.#he doesn't make cosmic mistakes that effect the balance of the earth (well. he didn't.)#he makes small mistakes that effect his personal life and his relationships but he's trying so hard.#he's so. so small potatoes. and i'm sure nathan just. loves him. peter small potatoes parker.#admires a guy who's living his life like that. without cosmic worries or massive ambition. just a guy who wants to be happy.#i think it's funny how wade equates nate and peter in his head as similar because they're both 'heroes' or whatever#but nathan and peter have such polar opposing philosophies to life. polar opposing that they'd still probably admire and envy eachother for#peter envying nate because he's ambitious and powerful and has a freaking floating ISLAND or whatever#and nathan envying peter for being able to grant himself happiness.
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birdricks · 6 months
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thinking about rick admitting to only helping with the war because he wanted bp to respect him. and not realising the irony in admitting this and how it loses him that very respect
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#WORST FUMBLE IN HISTORY.#birdrick#ok but genuinely. bp must REALLY care for rick to trust him still after like. EVERYTHING#i think they were close enough that bp can understand ricks motivation for doing things better than rick himself at times#(eg: rick not telling him abt his daughter)#so while bp may not agree with rick on a lot of things he still gets and respects Why rick does stuff#and same like vice versa#bp was able to put aside his hurt to tell rick to call him if he needs#and rick was able to root for bp at the wedding despite clearly hurting#etc etc#i think bp would have a good grasp on how rick could come to see everything as pointless#depsite not knowing abt the portal gun EXPLICITLY.#just as rick would have an understanding of why tammy and birddaughter mattered so much to bp#but i think rick gets wrapped up in himself a lot#him making like. the exact same mistake after reviving bp as at bloodridge is.. crushing#he just forgets. or like it doesnt occur to him in the moment that people might not want the same things as him#but ohhh man. it hurts so bad#rick doesnt hold any grudges toward bp it seems. like as much as he throws insults around all he ever does is try to support bp#like even w bloodridge it seems more that his avoidance was due to being embarrassed of what he did#BUT. memory rick thinking bp is the asshole. implying again bp thought at least for a while that rick rlly hated him for it#but yet they still consider each other their closest friend. and both love each other and would drop everything to help each other#fuck my life man. seriously#wtf was i talking abt. i forget im just rambling npw#ohhh they make me explode.
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bylertruther · 1 year
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do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?
that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.
maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.
like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.
he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.
of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.
so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.
of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.
just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.
#will byers#byler#mine#long post#will#anyway. this is how i always interpreted the i hate WHO i am line especially in conjunction with the word ''mistake'' + being different#within the context of EVERYTHING that's happened to will and continues to happen to him and how unique it is to him in this narrative#bc rly. if you were will.... wouldn't you feel like a mistake? even outside of that outside of the supernatural i'm speaking to my#friends that have ''Something Wrong'' with them. when something happens to you and you're not the same after and you're surrounded#by people who are able to move on and be normal—don't you ever have those moments where you feel like a mistake? when you're#growing up and still interested in your same old interests but your friends start moving on and then you see that they went back to#those interests in your absence—don't you feel like you were the problem then? when people are able to be brave and you can't#find it within yourself to overcome your fear—don't you hate that feeling? don't you feel that negativity towards yourself when you#know that you SHOULD do something but you can't bring yourself to and it works against yourself? like. everything that has happened#to will E V E R Y T H I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!! can easily make anyone no matter what part of him you relate to the most understand that#u kno wht i mean? anyway. i jus wanted to bring this up bc his life is a fucking tragedy even without the gay stuff n his current pov on th#and the way that That conversation always centers on fear and bravery it's like. obviously being gay is not easy in that era but i don't#think that line is ''i hate being gay'' with no factoring in of the great many things that have happened to him which alienate him further#as well as with how he does want mike to know and his alan turing poster and his talk with jonathan etc etc#his conflict has always centered around how other people treat him and his issue with that bc that's what makes him feel bad#that just because he's different that doesn't mean that he's Different and must be treated as such#he's different and has people that make him feel BETTER for it like look at s2 for example all of those talks abt using what he perceives#as a weakness abt himself as a strength that no one else can bring to the table. and in s3 when he still believed in being a nerd#and never getting girlfriends etc but when it came from mike thts when he called himself stupid n started down this path bc now#there's that sprinkle of doubt. n tht doubt is the scariest thing in the world—understandably so#also. he literally has an evil monster in his brain like bdkfjhsbkdjhfbskj IT'S JUST A LOT.#he is different for many reasons and has even more reasons to hate Who he is the kind of person that he is#jus my take 😁👍
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dogboyjackkennedy · 4 months
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thinking about the line "You can never undo what I've done to her, you know." again.
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avisisisis · 5 months
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To add a little more to that post about how peaches represent SWK and Mac's relationship:
In the mountain, Macaque is the one to crush the peach in his hand. He offered it to Sun Wukong, and when he didn't accept it and instead yelled at him, he destroyed it and threw it on the ground
In the end, it was Macaque who left first, not the other way around. Now, their broken relationship isn't completely his fault, but he did play a part on it
SWK screamed at him when he tried to mend their friendship, so instead of trying again, he left. That's what broke their relationship for good. Not Sun Wukong yelling, not Liu'er Mihou not looking for him, but Macaque leaving and (as far as we know) not coming back. La gota que colmó el vaso, we could say. Stuff had already been going on between those two. SWK never seemed to genuinely listen to Macaque and his promises of staying forever were empty (he never would've been able to stay in one place for so long) and Macaque never even bothered to communicate his negative feelings over this, so when he warned him he was ignored
Sun Wukong left again and again and again, looking for more power to "be strong enough to protect them", and eventually he lost sight of why he was doing it. But no matter how many times he left, he came back. Macaque didn't
#they both did what they wanted from the other#swk wanted mac to be able to leave when he wanted on the condition that he'd always come back#mac wanted swk to stay w him and be loyal to him the same way he was to swk forever#swk promised they'd stay there forever but even if he had tried he would've eventually broken that promise#the one time macaque left swk on his own he never returned#they both hurt each other so much#it wasn't a one-sided thing like so many ppl believe#“oh but swk left and killed macaque! he's a selfish shit!” “but macaque abandoned swk n hes technically the one at fault for everything!”#shut up#i'm not gonna say neither of them were at fault. cuz they both were#but it wasn't one-sided#now the difference between them is how they act about it. swk is trying to be a better person and to not repeat his past mistakes#macaque gets angry and torments mk (who is a child especially compared to him) for being close to swk#and tries to convince him that swk is a terrible mentor when in reality he's never hurt mk (yet. and even then it wasn't intentional)#most of mk's problems w swk come not only from the fact that swk sucks at communication but also from teh fact that everyone's+#talking shit abt him. they're saying swk sucks n make mk doubt him n himself when swk rlly is just trying his best#anyways i'll get more into that later#lmk#lego monkie kid#sun wukong#the six eared macaque#liu'er mihou#swk#the monkey king#shadowpeach#lmk season 4#peaches#avis talks#avis' post
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bhaalble · 8 months
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Like in general I just need it beamed into the minds of everyone posting in the Astarion tag: not all sexual trauma manifests in not wanting to have sex forever. Not all sexual trauma manifests in only wanting soft loving sex! And it is not actually that strange for a guy who has been routinely forced into submissive positions against his will to prefer to be dominant in sexual encounters he has control over! You have to actually listen to this man not talk past him!
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absentmoon · 8 months
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i don't think fark can eat but he can like cooking. also.
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slugandthorn · 4 months
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Annoyed in a very normal way that his portrait from school is the same length as his hair during the game. Don't worry about what's in the tags I'm sure it's a normal amount of text.
#.txt#BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE. The long hair is clearly better. i am happy to have the original image over my stupid phone edit.#im fact checking something kn the wiki and apparebtly in the manga he has a turtle neck instead of a dress shirt. gagging#i feel insane for this i cant find an answer. when he killed kens mom he was a freshman it was two years before the beginning if the game.#like. MAYBE he finishes that year. he didnt attend a second year right???#so assuming he actually gets to live. and he goes back to school. hed have to restart there. and at the point junpei and the bunch would#be his upperclassmen and THERES NO WAY he would be able to deal with that. hes getting his japanese equivalent GED.#that was actually a side tangent because. well. anyway.#the MAIN point of the post: how only knowing characters from fiction AFTER a life changing event that has probably caused#a major personality shift and seeing that in his character design.#i feel like this applies. to a lot of my guys. but i feel like its also exacerbated in this case because akihiko and mitsuru knew him before#and we have no idea who that person was HES NOT IN THE FUCKING FLASH BACK AUURGHH. MAKE THE SPRITE.#this is sickening for shinji. given how sweet he is. whilst slowly killing himself. theyre so funny for that.#also design nitpicking. the pale skin obviously. also a controversial thing. i do like him having darker hair in p3d.#even if it was probably done to distinguish him from akechi. light brown hair doesnt suit him as well. imo. the only guy who thinks about it#p3d bias because they gave us the canonical beach outfit we never got and i just want him to have more outfits so bad.#im sorry im not a peacoat fan. ill allow the heels.#CAN I SAY HOW MAD I AM HIS FUNERAL PICTURE IS HIS FUCKING SPRITE. AND NOT LIKE AN ACTUAL SCHOOL PICTURE. JUST GIVE. AN ARTIST A DAY TO EDIT#im watching the funeral now <3 mistake.#insane the school held a funeral for a student who hadnt attended in almost two years.#top ten junpei moments though.#WHY ARE THEY AT SCHOOL THERES NO WAY THEY SLEPT.#mitsuru misses her fucking FRIENDD 😭#i wont be addressing All That Shit the akihiko goes through. know it also makes me 🛀#alright. repressed emotions expressed. back to doing stuff.
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puzzlekinq · 2 months
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
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#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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JhinThresh server encourages my High Noon obsession, more at noon
Another ramble by a gay cowboy, about gay cowboys, for my gay (cowboys in spirit) friends.
Some NSFW, nothing directly explicit but there's some level of detail. OOC as always but I've been informed I'm based so... hopefully it's based this time, too?
This specifically is about them being drunk. To start, I headcanon Jhin as an emotional drunk (imagine him getting all emotional about his horse loving him too and practically crying in front of a probably sober Thresh who finds this adorable and jealousy-inducing, because Jhin should giving HIM all that attention) and Thresh as a more relaxed drunk--as in he gets a little more loose-lipped. This will also involve my bartender High Noon Jax, because why shouldn't it. We all know these idiots cannot do anything about their feelings without being beaten over the head with a lamp.
More of another "things I wanna write but probably won't" than a headcanon ramble, but whatever. Jhin comes in to the bar, and Jax already has his first drink (of four) ready by the time he's even at the bar. And, of course, being the weirdo bartender; Jax is already asking him if he's asked out Thresh yet. Giving advice, teasing him. Jhin doesn't respond much, just finishes his drinks and gets out as quick as possible. But now there's an issue; he's a bit drunk and now he has Thresh on his mind. Given that I said he's a more emotional drunk earlier, this is a much bigger issue than he thinks it is. He just heads to the barn, because really what else is there to do when you're a drunk cowboy (aside from fucking and/or killing)?
Thresh is there. He watches as Jhin cries over his horse, talks to it. He's jealous for a few minutes. The horse is getting all this attention, and not him? And then Jhin asks his horse what he should do about his “weird feelings” for a certain man. He doesn't mention Thresh's name, but now Thresh is even MORE jealous. Who's this other guy stealing his victim slash weird crush? Unforgivable. I haven't really imagined much past this, and I'm no good with smut, but Thresh probably gets a little drunk himself, reveals himself to Jhin, who is now cagey and cold to Thresh due to not wanting to admit the guy he loves was him, and then Thresh fucks him because he's jealous. Maybe involving a riding crop. And Thresh's chain/rope/thing. And possible admission of feelings. Who knows.
And a second part… flirting. Their flirting is really weird, because they don’t. They just do a LOT of homoerotic touches and things for each other. Both of them realise this, but neither rationalise it correctly and think the other doesn’t think it’s homoerotic. They think they’re enemies/rivals/begrudging friends, despite both of them feeling attached to the other. I went over the physical homoerotic touch aspects in both of my previous rambles, but I guess I’ll go for other ways here.
Thresh tends to braid Jhin’s horse’s hair the same way he always does it. He doesn’t do a particularly good job and Jhin always scolds him and says “that’s not how you do it, you fool” etc etc until he’s giving Thresh a lecture on how to braid hair. This goes on until Jhin ends up just grabbing Thresh’s hands and “guiding him” (aka just doing the whole thing for him) through it. Thresh knows full well how to braid hair after the first time; but he continues to do it just so he has Jhin’s full attention. As I’ve mentioned he cannot rationalise this in a normal way (“This is torture because I’m taking his time and energy away from more important things, to make him easier to break”) and neither can Jhin. He likes teaching Thresh but he’s not sure why (it’s because he likes feeling in control, as well as the feeling of having Thresh as a captive audience) and instead chooses to think it’s just because he likes being correct. It’s flirting, just nonverbally.
On the same note, Jhin tends to make an effort to argue with Thresh over things. Anything, regardless of how monotonous or how pointless the argument is. He likes getting an anger reaction out of Thresh. He finds it hot (which he mistakes for just being an adrenaline addict; they’re not all buddy-buddy so he figures it’s only natural to get worked up by your enemy/rival getting angry at you). He gets genuinely upset when Thresh doesn’t react or argue back or even concede. He wants something other than constant teasing or silence, and when he doesn’t get that something, he gets a bit fussy and usually ends up touching Thresh in some way to rile him up. Sexually or non-sexually, it doesn’t matter. It gets a reaction and he gets to touch Thresh, so it’s a win-win.
If we combine the two, drunk flirting. Jhin gets emotional, so with enough provoking from Thresh usually you can get a flirty comment—albeit vague and a bit unorthodox—from him. He still tries to maintain a mask of indifference or hatred towards him when drunk but he falls on his face and ends up letting a few things, whether they be emotions or words, slip. Thresh, being loose-lipped, is usually the one to end up very explicitly flirting with Jhin when drunk. Compliments his body, calls him cute and pathetic, says he wants to hear him scream. He, of course, has some level of plausible deniability with these comments when sober, but when drunk he doesn’t tend to defend himself. He never admits it’s flirting, but he’ll not say no. Oh also they both get horny when drunk so if they’re later in to their homoerotic rivalry they probably fuck. Up to you.
Also… please read the tags of this post. There’s a few little related side tangents in there, if you’re interested.
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maschotch · 1 year
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You mentioning the fact that they're profilers is so real bc like it honest to god ASTOUNDS me how badly they all read hotch like he so so so so clearly cares for every member of the Bau WAAYYY more than he cares for him self and he's literally never shown otherwise??? Like even the whole drill boss stuff or whatever tf he said he's never aggressive with the group if they mess up he's always understanding but fair and most is pretty much the first one to comfort them (if the script allows) UNLESS he's going through some shit IE the whole divorce plot and foyet AND IT BAFFLES ME HOW EVERYONE FUCKING MISSES IT CONSIDERING ITS THEIR J O B
they’re all kinda bad at profiling each other but istg they have to TRY to understand hotch so poorly… i’m trying to think of a moment where he yells at them when they’re not directly putting themselves in danger or in the immediate aftermath of him getting attacked in his fucking home, but i cant think of anything?? he doesnt like being harsh with them and he learns the hard way with the elle situation that it doesnt get them anywhere. the only time he was unduly upset w someone was with emily in the beginning and that’s only bc he thought she was either a nepotism hire (which she kinda was) or a plant for strauss (which she kinda was)
he’s “strict” but like?? is he?? he does half their paperwork for them and they dont even know it. instead of doing things by the book and getting reid fired, he turned the other way and let him work through his drug problem. maybe he says “no” sometimes, but he usually relents anyway—like when jj has a feeling ab a case or when he calls the fucking vatican for emily. if he was a drill sergeant, would he let garcia keep a bunch of clutter on her desk and dress in bright clothing?? he doesnt coddle them or anything bc that’s not really his personality, but he’s gentle w them and even praises them when he knows they need it. he doesnt always step in and help when he should (i think that honestly has more to do w him being self conscious than anything—he doesnt want a drill sergeant/bully to make things worse), but he keeps a close eye on each of their wellbeing and will quietly urge one of the others to help out if someone’s in a tough spot
sure he doesn’t smile a whole lot and he’s known for his perpetually neutral face, but at the same time it’s not very hard to tell how he’s feeling. he’s effective at his job, he’s good at playing the tough guy, but tbh he let’s things get to him easily. he takes their criticism to heart and does his best to be better. he HATES seeing any of them hurt: ever notice how after what happened with elle he never uses his own agents as bait like that again? he either uses himself (like the fight club episode) or one of the team volunteers and he relents (like emily in the omegaverse swingers episode). they misread his social awkwardness as being cold when really i think he’s just mildly uncomfortable being the center of attention in an unprofessional setting.
it’s wild to me how frequently they misjudge him. i think he kinda knows and almost encourages it?? while still considering their judgements genuine?? morgan is a great example: of all his subordinates, morgan has worked with him the longest, since before he was in charge of the team. so you’d think morgan would have the best insight. but morgan has a complicated relationship w authority figures and tends to be automatically defensive out of habit. essentially, he’s been projecting on hotch since day one and has been blinded by the convoluted series of lenses he sees hotch through: as a constantly rotating mixture of buford, stilinski, and his father. it’s prevented him for actually seeing hotch for who he is, and hotch seems to make no real effort to correct any of those presumptions. but hotch still takes it personally when morgan criticizes him (prob bc it feeds his own negative view of his self worth and uses it as justification for whatever self loathing bullshit he’s on)
basically, hotch knows everyone has skewed perceptions of him and is fine letting their delusions continue uninterrupted—encourages it, even. he’s more comfortable receiving scathing remarks, even if they’re inaccurate, bc it allows him to continue his own delusion ab his place in the world. if they hate him (or if he thinks they hate him), it gives him a reason to hate himself. which is why i think he kinda likes that they’re bad at profiling him. it’s a way to receive that negative attention without actually being vulnerable. it’s a very very passive manipulation—more like he’s allowing them to manipulate themselves—that feeds his self loathing. i think he does it on purpose, so i cant necessarily fault the others for so drastically misunderstanding hotch. especially since they do get better at it over the seasons: they’re able to see through his defense mechanisms a little more, even if they still cant see him clearly
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wonder-worker · 6 months
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“Edward IV was never the sole, undoubted representative of the kingship before I47I. The crowned, anointed and, most important, de facto king of nearly forty years standing, was still alive, never abdicated and was never deposed; he was free until I465 and safe thereafter so long as his heir was beyond Edward's reach ... Barnet, Tewkesbury and the prompt murder of Henry VI, the moment it was safe to do so, alone changed all this and secured Edward's de facto kingship at last. The 'first reign' was in fact the road to the throne.”
- B.P Wolffe, review of “Edward IV” by Charles Ross
#edward iv#english history#that's a really good point I think#Edward IV was definitely in a wildly different and far more vulnerable situation from other 15th century usurpers#Henry IV and Richard III both had the usurped kings in their control and both Richard II and Edward V were childless so their usurpers#didn't have to worry about direct heirs#Henry VII defeated Richard in battle and was thus not only able to avoid the stain of regicide but was also able to gain added legitimacy#God-given victory in battle; divinely ordained triumph etc#Richard III also didn't have any legitimate heirs & hadn't formally declared anyone else his heir either#(and was himself viewed as an usurper himself by many)#So without discounting their difficulties they were all ultimately 'de-facto' kings from the beginning. Meanwhile Edward IV lacked that#across his 'first reign' and still somehow managed to get through which I think is actually pretty impressive imo? All things considered?#Ofc that's not to say that the circumstances were totally neat-and-clean for Henry IV Richard III and Henry VII - that's laughably untrue#But it was fundamentally different and more 'secure' in comparison to *Edward IV's* specifically#(John Guy talks about this in 'Tudor England' as well)#That's not even getting into how Edward IV was so much younger than the other three usurpers (he was 18 to their 32 30 and 28 respectively)#when he ascended the throne. So ultimately I think that his first reign was certainly very different and more vulnerable#which I definitely think this should be kept in mind when evaluating it - particularly if the evaluation is comparative in nature#(eg: in terms of internal opposition; foreign opposition; support; room to make mistakes etc)#On the flip-side it's also VERY indicative where Richard III is concerned. Because however morally distasteful his usurpation may have been#on a personal level - he WAS ultimately the de-facto king and the best option for dynastic continuity. And was clearly attempting a#policy of pardon and reconciliation where his brothers' followers were concerned. So it speaks volumes that despite that - despite#having nothing to gain and everything to lose - so many people rebelled against him or defected to a rival claimant who could#at that point offer them no such manifest advantage whatsoever
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garciapimienta · 7 months
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I was pissed about the match yesterday but not as much as I am today
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