yesterday was valentine’s day and SO MUCH happened with zeenunew 🥰
there were inactive at first, didn’t post anything (although fans on twitter suspected that it was because they were on a date) and then tutor on his livestream said that “other couple went on a romantic date”. shortly after that we got an update!
valentine’s 2023:
zee and nunew went to a japanese restaurant and had bbq, shabu and sushi.
after that it was time for gifts:
zee gave nunew valentino earrings and SOMETHING ELSE WE DONT KNOW ABOUT 😭 but nunew likes to gatekeep so he said he’s not gonna show it yet
nunew MADE chocolate bears for zee. like actually MADE them, from scratch. nunew’s dad said on twitter that when nunew came back from their phuket trip at night, he still stayed up making those bears until around 1am. oh my god my heart is gonna burst, he loves his boyfriend so much 😭
during their very short ig live zee was also teasing nunew about those bears, but when nunew pouted and complained that they didn’t come out pretty, zee said sth like “how is it not pretty?? it’s very cute. nunew made it with his whole heart so im going to eat it/accept it with my whole heart” AND OH MY-
after their own livestream there was also a domundi company livestream on youtube and they went WILD
they had to do squat with their babies on their back. james was SO DONE with znn lol and of course our fair player nunew tried to tickle james’ feet to make them lose lol
also - nunew and james clowning max’s flexing is best friend forever energy and i don’t make the rules 😌
NAT WAS SO CUTE DURING THIS AND THE TINY BABY VOICES HE AND NUNEW USED AHHHHHH
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And I will stay alive for my future self, so they can one day learn to be kind to who I was as a child. And I will teach them to honor who we used to be, so they can remember the comfort of what once was our untempered flesh and gentle soul. Me and myself are each a fresh wound and a rough scab, bearing respectively the gift of green faith and honed will.
This has been in my draft for a while because I was determined to post this only after I knew what I should write underneath it. I’ve read a lot on the concept of healing the wounded inner child since even before my c-ptsd diagnosis. However, I’ve sought as much comfort in my little self as they had in me. Looking back, I was an impressively emotionally-intuitive kid. I remember well how I used to think, the things I would write to my future self; they were wiser and gentler than I could ever hope to be as an adult. Needless to say, the little poem above is inspired by the aforementioned experience. Sure, big me is armed with a more developed pre-frontal cortex and access to invaluable resources (coping mechanisms, therapy, on and offline communities) , but I struggle to rediscover/reinvent my identity. Little me was the biggest vestige of my lost personhood. So yeah, this might be just a huge self-indulgent projection with my favorite character, but thinking that post-S3 Hunter would also be in my shoes is not completely baseless. 16yrs old Hunter is the fresh wound (a lot of things happened before his teen years, but I’m going to interpret the events of Hollow Mind - which happened when Hunter was 16 - as the ultimate boiling point in his trauma timeline, hence the ‘fresh wound') and 20yrs old Hunter is the rough scab. Each version of Hunter could be dealing with a different set of trauma-induced symptoms. I think his loyalty to Belos kept him going as a child. Being doubtless was important to Hunter back then; it held his sense of self together. And maybe when he survived and was rewarded the time and space to grow into his own person and live for himself, there was this lasting emptiness. I feel this sort of emptiness even today. My only reference of what ‘wholeness’ felt like was when I was obedient to my family. I equated self-abandonment as the righteous norm. The symptoms I deal with today are definitely different from when I was Hunter’s age pre-time-skip. Now that Hunter is in a safe space and an adult post-time skip, he might also need to seek that strength from his younger self. Reminding himself of how far he’s come and the parts of him that he'd like to keep from his past. The parts that he knows in his bones are purely his - not instilled by Belos, not inherited from Caleb.
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I never posted these over here cause I'm bad at upkeeping my tumblr page, but today seems like a good day for sharing some fruity pirate brainrot. I love them all.
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