#and im not even sure if you can get one without a diagnosis??

[storm-of-feathers]

christ.

#i love joe i do #but the fact that i can hear his snoring through earplugs closed doors AND while in a separate room is #its takin a toll #i think its getting worse tbh but i cant like tell for sure bc its always been super bad and loud #before people start ab sleep apnea: healthcare is a nightmare rn and he doesnt seem to want to see anyone ab it #which. idk i guess its not that serious?? the most it affects him is i dont sleep in the same room anymore #bc i have real bad misophonia and snoring is one of Those Noises #plus like even if they invent the worlds best earplugs that block out all sounds forever #he snores so bad it vibrates the mattress #so... now we got our own sleeping spaces #but hes still like snoring really bad #connecticut was kind of hell bc theres only so much anyone can do #he's also a very heavy sleeper so its not like i can wake him up #and im a very light sleeper #so even when i go to bed first and get to sleep alright when he comes in or lays down i wake up #we've tried like #a wedge pillow some weird mouth guards this chin trap thing some nose strip things #i do genuinely think its sleep apnea so we need a cpap machine i think but those are expensive as fuck #and im not even sure if you can get one without a diagnosis?? #well. thanks for reading my vent #i promise our marriage and relationship is fine and tbh better than a lot of other people we know's... #its just this one thing #:(

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Hi! i was wondering if you could do the boys (frank, matt etc) with a reader/ partner whose almost always tired, like a cat? i have a condition where i can’t stay awake long and struggle all the time i think the most i can do is 5-6 hrs then im out like a light

Anon, I totally feel for you. I am currently pursuing my own chronic illness diagnosis, and it is VERY difficult to get through a full day without a nap. Fortunately for the both of us, I don't think any of the boys would mind!

Frank

Heavily inspired by the Jon Bernthal “Naps are for Chumps” video, Frank is NOT a nap person.

But he would be such a good partner whenever you needed to rest. And if you had told him about your condition and how it impacts you, I think he’d even demand that you sleep if you seemed the slightest bit tired. 

If you were running out of steam and your eyes started drooping, he’d pull you against him on the couch or in bed, throwing a blanket over the two of you. Pressing a kiss to your head, he’d keep reading his latest book as you nodded off. 

If anyone tried to interrupt a nap, they’d be met with the deadliest glare of all time.

I don’t think he’d nap with you, but I also don’t think he would criticize you for needing extra sleep. I think he would simply add it to the list of things that he loves about you :)

Matt

This man has the exhaustion of a bear that just woke up from hibernation so he would totally sympathize with you. 

He has far too much guilt to rest with you every time, but he’d take so much care in crafting a cozy space for you in his apartment. 

After picking up on your needs or having a conversation with you about it (depending on how comfy you are telling him), he’d start hoarding soft blankets and fluffy pillows, making sure to place them in every possible place you might want to curl up. 

He’d inevitably start reading your body’s signals as your relationship develops and help you if you start feeling fatigued while out and about–making up an excuse to your friends or whomever and escorting you home–holding you close as you drift off.  

His favorite time to find you napping is when he gets home from work or a late night. Finding you wrapped in his sheets or clothed in his shirts will never be less than adorable. 

Mikey

As someone who was devastated when he was recently diagnosed with epilepsy, I think Michael would take your condition incredibly seriously and indulge your every need. 

He’d encourage you to rest when you needed, look for relaxing activities for the two of you to partake in together. Like cooking comfort foods, watching movies, listening to podcasts, etc

Napping with you wouldn’t phase him for a second. He’d happily curl up around you whenever you needed his extra warmth, after offering you one of his sweaters of course. 

If he comes home to find you sleeping, he’ll take extra care to not wake you, stepping softly and reading quietly in an armchair across from you.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil #frank castle #charlie cox #marvel #matt murdock x you #the punisher #frank castle x reader #my writing #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock fic #matt murdock my beloved #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #human disaster matt murdock #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fic #daredevil mcu #daredevil netflix #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #netflix daredevil #frank castle x you #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle imagine #frank castle x female reader

[heymacy]

hi! i haven’t seen mickeyless seasons so i wanted to ask if ian ever has issues about being bipolar like he did with mickey? like him breaking up in s5 for not wanting to see mickey hurt and s10 when he asks if he’s crazy for wanting to be with him! i think i read somewhere that caleb? maybe had a talk about self love or whatever to ian but that dude was horrendous ( not that trevor was best for what ive seen ) so im not sure that counts ahah

hi anon!

yes, ian grappling with his disorder is a very very big theme throughout seasons 6, 7, 8, and 9. in fact i would argue that aside from him becoming an EMT, the bipolar storyline is his most significant one (i typed out my response and it got very long so i'm going to put it below the cut 💛)

in s6 he is fresh off of the diagnosis, the breakup, and coping with mickey going to prison (and he was definitely trying to cope, he still loved him and seeing someone you love locked up is immeasurably hard. i feel like we don't talk about this enough). he feels very aimless and it isn't until an incident (he's a bystander to a car crash and rescues a woman from a burning vehicle) that he finds his new path (becoming an EMT, which he does by the end of s6). caleb was absolutely awful in so many ways but the one good thing he did do was encourage and support ian in finding a new life path, which is the only credit i will give him. there's also a deleted scene in s6 that is so, so important re: understanding how mentally ill people are viewed and treated in society and of course ian's monologue about how he's good at his job because of his illness, which is one of my favorite scenes in the entire show.

in s7, he's getting healthy again and taking his meds, but it isn't without struggle. there's a very poignant and important scene (part one, part two) with lip where he expresses his struggles with his disorder and how hard it is for him to cope with taking his meds and listening to the warning signs for episodes (he was behaving in ways akin to a hypomanic episode/showing signs of slipping into an episode just before the conversation happens). by the end of the season, after he leaves mickey at the border, he's still relatively stable, but the emotional triggers of leaving mickey behind + monica's death start to take a toll on him, which we see in s8. there's also the trevor of it all in s7, but that's a whole other issue. trevor did not have a positive impact on ian's self-esteem whatsoever and even went so far as to demand ian forgive monica and "move on" after knowing 0.1% of the history between the two of them. that scene in particular makes me unfathomably angry and i just know it was deeply, deeply triggering for ian to hear that from someone he cared about.

in s8, we have the gay jesus storyline, which i absolutely detest and hate to discuss, but it's part of his story and it needs to be acknowledged. he's taken advantage of a lot this season, propelled towards some sort of fucked up end goal with very little control over his circumstances, and it quickly spirals out of control. while the writers never explicitly state that ian is hypo/manic during this season, you can watch the progression happen if you pay close enough attention. despite not being given a lot to work with, cameron did a great job at playing the nuances of bipolar disorder this season, showing ian's descent into hypo/mania as the gay jesus movement grows and warps.

in s9, he's in prison for the first time and is noticeably manic. after being released, he starts seeking out meaning and purpose in religion. eventually he's forced to face the consequences of his actions and pleads not guilty to arson by reason of insanity, not only defying the wishes of the gay jesus followers (they feared him going public with his diagnosis and pleading insanity would delegitimize the movement) but also finally choosing to really acknowledge his disorder, reckon with it, and make peace with it, in a strange sort of way. it's a very important and pivotal moment for his character and cameron absolutely delivers during his plea monologue.

if you've see s10 you know how his self-worth takes a hit regarding the marriage storyline, and how he's so terrified of marrying mickey because 1) he doesn't know if he's capable of being a good partner because he doesn't feel like he had good examples of healthy marriage standards growing up and 2) he isn't sure mickey knows what he's signing up for re: his disorder and everything it entails. which, of course, is not the case, because mickey doesn't love him in spite of his disorder, he loves him completely, and his disorder is just a part of that. he wants all of him, always, and that's a huge plot point in s10 and s11 ("i gotta worry, you're my husband" scene my absolute beloved).

anyway. the short answer is that yes, ian spends a lot of time grappling with his disorder and the realities of life as a bipolar human. he deals with issues regarding his self-worth, his purpose, and his relationships. speaking as a bipolar individual, i can say with absolute certainty that coming to terms with your diagnosis is a long, arduous process that takes many years and a lot of commitment to achieve. it's not easy, and though the writers dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines in the show, they did a pretty damn good job of showing how hard it is to cope and live with the realities of bipolar disorder and everything that entails.

if you ever want to see more of his journey, gallavichscenes on youtube has playlists of all of ian's scenes in season 6, season 7, season 8, and season 9. i highly recommend watching the show in its entirety but if you don't want to do that, i recommend at the very least watching the rest of ian's storyline. it colors so much of his story and mickey's and it's hard to fully comprehend the extent of their relationship without understanding that storyline. i hope this answered your question! sending tons and tons of love 💛

#i hope this provided some clarity on his mindset and storyline! #if you have any other questions feel free to drop in any time 💛 #macy babbles #anons

[balanceoflightanddark]

Well... I don't think that Azula hallucinating Ursa is her first hallucination.

Her reaction is slight initial surprise but then she's immeadiatley just ... annoyed. She isn't shocked or freaked out at all. It's like she's used to it. She talks to the hallucination as if it was just another day. Then she smashes the mirror, like she is fully accquainted with the fact that this isn't real.

That's not the reaction of someone who sees and hears their lost mother for the first time. No way.

(Ofc some people don't like to headcannon in this direction of her having long-lasting mental illness and prefer to think it was just a single breakdown. Which I get and is super fine).

Just thought, objectively looking at the scene, there's no freaking way this was her first hallucination.

It looks like she's been dealing with this for quite some time. And surely alone. She couldn't show weakness to Ozai. And I don't think the royal palace is big on mental health.

;

Headcanon that fits this:

Despite Azula's betrayal of Ozai (lying to him, failing him etc.), he still planned to keep using her because... that's what narcissists do. They use you as long as you can be used. And Azula is super useful! Why would he throw her away after all she did for him? When she is still so desperate for his "love"? When she could still be so very useful to him?

He wanted to keep using her, but when he saw Azula starting to "lose her mind", he decided to ditch her.

Iroh: "She's crazy and she needs to go down"

Ozai: "She's crazy... gotta ditch her. (...) Better give her the throne she never wanted so she doesn't kill me. Lmao if she turns on me im dead this bitch has blue fire, killed the avatar and conquered Ba Sing Se. She different. I still can't read maps and fire only comes out when angry"

...okay. Let me just preface this with saying that Ozai's last sentence is hilarious, is completely in-character, and should be framed.

I should also say that...since we're gonna be going into territory which is a bit of a sore subject for myself, whatever I say is not an attempt to tear you down. I do not believe in that and will try to keep this as levelheaded as possible.

With that said, while I certainly respect your opinion on Azula...I still don't believe that she has a mental illness that results in recurring hallucinations. We only have the one scene and there's only so much we can get from that. And I certainly don't think we should base everything we know of a character over their worst and lowest moment. I know because...I was guilty of that with Zuko.

But I digress.

This masterpost belongs to my dear friend @prying-pandora666 who goes into quite a bit of detail concerning Azula and mental health if you're interested. But the crux of it is, when looking at it from the lens of a professional, we don't have any evidence that Azula was mentally ill. Does that mean she wasn't? No. Of course not. It's just we don't have too much onscreen evidence to make a definitive conclusion.

And even if Azula was mentally ill (I don't think she was and was probably suffering from a mental breakdown), one should be careful to make sure it's not overemphasized to the detriment of her upbringing and Ozai's bullshit. After all, even the best kid wouldn't last too long under his parentage without getting SOME kind of trauma.

As for your headcanon, I don't necessarily believe Ozai was aware of Azula's deteriorating mental state. She didn't show any signs of it initially and he left before things got really bad. In this case though, I'd pin the blame more on Ozai's lack of focus on Book 3. Is it possible he saw the signs? Yeah, and I can believe that. Doesn't make him any less of a scumbag for abandoning her. I'd argue it makes him even worse since he left her when she needed him most after years of presenting himself as the only stable adult figure in her life.

And as a quick aside, can please stop using the "crazy and needs to go down" quote as evidence? Eshasz and Greg Baldwin both said that Iroh was in the wrong there for saying that.

...sorry. I have autism which can be constituted as a mental illness, so I get a little bit tender when discussing this. There's nothing inherently wrong with Azula being mentally ill like so many would say and you're completely within your right to believe she is. My personal advice would be to just...be careful is all. Treat Azula as a person instead of a mental illness, never try to give people the wrong idea about mental illnesses or misdiagnosing characters (especially minors) and you'll be fine.

#azula #princess azula #atla #azula deserved better #azula meta #ozai #ozai's a+ parenting #azula mental illness #anon answered #anon ask #ask answered #ask me anything

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hey, um, this feels like a silly question that I should have seen the answer on here somewhere for, but...

What is your opinion on self diagnosing autism?

I really want to seek a formal diagnosis because there are so many signs that I'm autistic; I've taken every single test you've linked on your blog with really high scores, I've realised a lot of common autistic experiences are things that I've had that I just thought I was insane for, and that having so many sensitivities when it comes to food and textures and smells and lights and things not always being exactly as I think they should be isn't just....a thing that I go through, by myself, that I can't get over because I'm not trying hard enough- that other people struggle with the same things all the time, but they have autism and that's something I could never even consider that I might have too until other people asked me because they thought I did.

I'm sorry for going on- all this is to say, I do want a formal diagnosis, but because I'm trans/autonomy is a concern if I were diagnosed, and because how hard it might be to even get one since I don't have anyone around from my childhood to attest to how I was when I was young, I don't know if it's even something I can or should do. At the very least, it would take years for me to get to a place where I could pursue it.

I've been agonizing and doing so much research over the past several months, and I'm so so sure, but I'm also really afraid of diagnosing myself with it, let alone communicating that to the people close to me. I don't want to be one of those yucky people who lie about having autism. All I want is to feel like it's okay to seek community with people who experience the world more similarly to me, and like I'm allowed to ask for resources and utilize things that I need to function better in day to day life without unrightfully claiming something that I might not actually have.

So, um, I just wondered, what do you think about self diagnosis, as someone with autism? Is it wrong to do it- is it wrong that I've even thought about it? I don't know what's okay at all, and I really feel terrible about even thinking I could.

Thank you for taking the time to read this even though I drabble on.

Hi there,

Im not a doctor or a professional, but I’m completely okay with self diagnose as long as you do the proper research. (Not looking things up on TikTok or anything like that. I know there’s some actual neurodivergent there trying to help, but I think it’s filled with so much misinformation than information.

I was diagnosed in 2009, but I I was diagnosed with Aspergers before it was changed into Autism Spectrum Disorder.

And it’s completely up to you if you want to a official diagnosis. Some people find it helpful, other not too much. If you want to try to get an official diagnosis, then you need to find a good psychiatrist/psychologist (I don’t know which one diagnoses disorders).

But that might be a but hard.

Sorry for rambling there. My main point is you can definitely diagnose yourself if you do correct resources and some symptoms that you think you have.

I hope this answer your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[faiiryteethh]

hey! i hope this isn’t too personal, but how did u go about getting diagnosed with autism or how did you bring it up to your doctor? i’m pretty sure i have autism but i don’t have a diagnosis and as a woman in her 20s i feel embarrassed 😭

okay so, actually i was having all sorts of issues that i now know are autism related and i didn't really know why and i spoke to my doctor and my therapist about it. they both were actually the ones to tell me i should get tested and they were the ones that referred me to a specialist in my area. my therapist even told me she couldn't diagnose me herself but she was willing to bet on the fact that i was on the spectrum just by what i've told her and the things she observed about the way i talk to her and other ppl when i was doing group therapy, etc. i honestly didn't really know anything about autism other than common knowledge and actually some misconceptions too. i was actually kinda shocked when i was told to get tested. my therapist had given me a referral and was trying for quite a while to get me a date to get tested. and then i brought up my sensory issues to my doctor and had a longg talk with him about other things i was experiencing emotionally and physically. and thats when he suggested getting tested too. after having a 2nd person tell me the same thing i asked if he could help set up an appointment and once HE put in the referral i was scheduled for a test in a matter of like a week or 2. so overall it took 2 separate referrals and about 3 months of waiting for the actual test.

sorry if that sounds confusing. basically when my therapist referred me 3 months went by and then when my doctor put in a 2nd referral it only took about a week. im not sure if it moved along faster because of my doctor or that just happened to be the time i got an appointment. either way it took a little while and it wasn't a quick process.

i've heard other ppl tell me different ways they went about getting a diagnosis. for example my mom's best friend got diagnosed as an adult and she actually scheduled the appointment herself without any referral. so i know it can be done. i really hope you get the answers u are seeking soon! i know i only just recently got a diagnosis but i know how frustrating it can be to not know whats going on with yourself or to feel like an alien most of the time. please don't feel embarrassed. you know yourself better than anybody and if you feel like you may be on the spectrum then you are absolutely right about wanting to get tested. even if you find that you aren't autistic you will at least know for sure and you won't always be wondering. and you may even uncover some other issue that you don't know about.

my bf was tested for autism as a kid and he's not autistic but he found out he had adhd by the same ppl who did the testing. i know it feels awkward especially if you are unsure. i felt the same way leading up to my diagnosis because i truly never imagined that thats what i was dealing with. but after finding out for sure a lot of my anxiety has been eased in a way. because i finally have answers to a lot of things in my life. sorry for the super long post. i've had this in my inbox for a while now and i didn't want to answer it until i had time to sit down and explain everything i know for you💜

i wish you the best of luck and i hope things go smoothly for you🥰

#ask

[atypicalstrong]

heeeeeeey these meds are great actually. like i'm simultaneously mad/frustrated with all my old doctors and myself for never suggesting or seeking out mood stabilizers before. like i didn't remember this, but according to my records my old psychiatrist recommended 2 years of ECT without ever having given me a mood stabilizer to try. like. that's wild. it makes me so mad. just bc my diagnosis back then was major depression and cyclothymia, mood stabilizers were never considered but electroshock WAS...

but also, and more importantly, i'm just so THRILLED to have them now. like. i thought my brain was just broken beyond repair. and in a way it is, but that doesn't mean i can't do daily maintenance. i haven't felt this good since 2019. at least.

anyways the point is, if you have bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, maybe try taking a mood stabilizer BEFORE agreeing to ECT. even if you're young. no one explained to me that mood stabilizers (specifically anti-psychotic class ime, not anti-convulsant class or lithium) could help where anti depressants failed. I didn't even know I had a cyclothymia diagnosis until 3 months after I started ECT.

just because you've tried lots of anti depressants or anti anxiety meds, doesn't mean there aren't meds out there that can help you. do your own research. make sure you know all your diagnoses. get second and third opinions. ECT should always be a last resort for suicidal depression and/or bipolar patients. (obligatory "i cannot speak to ECT when used to treat epilepsy that's a totally different ball game")

you don't have to keep living like this. there are other options. it can and WILL get better even though it's not easy.

#bipolar disorder #bipolar #cyclothymia #cyclothymic disorder #major depression #major depressive disorder #ect #ect therapy #electroconvulsive therapy #mood stabilizers #disability #mental disability #mental illness #neurodivergence #uhhhh idk what else to tag that's actually relevant #just ya know..... if a doctor tells you there are No More Drugs to try and instead wants to shoot lighting through your brain #maybe get a second or third opinion before you agree #seriously wishing i had

[mueritos]

Autism is not something you question, ask your terapist or whoever gave you your gender dysphoria diagnosis to assess you. Those tests on the internet are not reliable. People who get diagnosed later in life don't do so because they seek it but because they are admitted for co-morbidities.

any neurodivergence is always something u question, especially when u live in a society that is not built for people with neurodivergencies.

therapists are not all ideal, and I think your assumption that i got my GD diagnosis from one is funny, any doctor can prescribe you with that shit without much question. The reason why im looking to research more into autism is because my therapist told me to, and so I can better equip myself with the language needed to advocate for myself. I have already spoken to my therapist about this several times but unfortunately, not every therapist is even equipped or informed enough about autism to guide people seeking information or a diagnosis.

yea, obviously all of those tests have a huge disclaimer to not use them as a way to diagnose. but they sure as hell help me understand what are my neurodivergent traits, especially on things that were completely normal to me or about things I never thought about. they provide me questions to delve deeper and understand where I fall on them.

there are a lot of people who seek a diagnosis because they just simply want to know, IF theyre even of the privilege to seek an official diagnosis. people can seek answers to things that are a concern to them regardless of the severity. Sometimes it just helps to know. It helps to know so that you can better understand yourself and how to navigate your life. I have many friends who have self diagnosed themselves with various other neurodivergences because they know they have it, and having the word and the community helps them understand how to cope and learn.

so yea.

#muertoresponds #theres a lot im finding with how to cope with autism and avoiding meltdowns and overloads that i relate heavily to #to the point where i realized maybe something was up #i didnt even know i was struggling with sensory issues and social situations until i began learning more about autism #and about how to self sooth #and i realized that i was doing a lot of the same things folks with autism were doing to self soothe and regulate #people dont have to struggle profusely to seek a diagnosis or answers #maybe they just realize that theyve learned how to adapt #but man how much longer will that hold for idk #because i have been socially isolating a lot more now that i know i can #that i dont have to talk to people in a bright happy tone or that i dont have to go to parties or large functions #shit like that

[vilha-alder]

The fun part of being disabled without having any actual oficial papers is that you still somehow expected to function fully while you literally cant

Im pretty sure that besides autism I definetely have something physical, cuz im laying on bed rn cuz my knee joints, while not necessarily hurt, but like... quite uncomfortable so i cant really sit

And i only ever worked in retail, and that would be fine if i was even able to find aome kind of work, but i can only dream of working being accessible for me. So sometimes it feels like im just surviving and on the outside i just spend lot of time at home, either laying on the bed or on good days sitting near PC.

And with autism i have a diagnosis from psychiatrist, private one unfortunately, cuz in ukraine if u're 18, then FUCK U U CANT HAVE AUTISM GOOD LUCK

And if i want to get a job, any job, i shouldnt disclose it ij the first place cuz...ableism yasss

Fuck im tired of this honestly.

#personal #rant #disabled

[nanjokei]

some oc "verses" i have (verses? stories? idk)

too complicated to explain without a decade of context so i wont for now

high school detective story where everyone is stuck in a time loop. they keep repeating the same cases over and over until it gets kinda comfy, and both detectives (both girls btw, and yes there is _something_ there but watch out) are differing degrees of The Joker, but eventually the routine is broken and it becomes apparent that theres Other Stuff is going on and there are a few others who are aware of the looping to their own ends. anyway one of the detectives is actually the one who trapped them there because Reasons. tbh the setting is a bit weak bc i came up with it as a teenager but i like it too much to rework it<-you can ask about this one but im shy

famous people of varying levels of noteriety are kidnapped and made to participate in a reality television show where death is on the table. three characters present are estranged childhood friends with A Past. the two above are linked to this, it shares characters and setting all the way through. most prominently several characters from the bullet point before this are involved. one of the main characters is the younger brother of someone involved also. im not sure what the endgame of this one is but theres timeloop bullshit in this one also<-this ones messy but you can ask probably

everything is linked through the same metaverse (its a long story) but all together there are some stuff that are less loosely connected. also yeah due to it all being a part of the same metaverse thats why sometimes there is time loop bullshit. also um... a lot of higher beings messing with people for no reason

more fantasy premise and a little more gag. kind of? but a hero coming down from a line of chosen heroes is dispatched to the line of duty to vanquish.. some kind of evil (no one is even sure what) but right in the beginning someone sets the convent he was picking up his companion from on fire. theyre seperated and he is accompanied by a different woman instead. from then on he ends up picking up nothing but the "wrong" party members, specifically people who are actually supposed to be bosses. meanwhile the actual proper party members to be become enemies. i really like this one. <-if you ask me about it i will probably tell you more

magical girl thing, idk, to be honest i made this one up when i was 16 so i dont like the concept that much, it was edgy but didnt make sense, i wanna rework it so the characters arent high schoolers anymore. its nothing objectionable just cringe in a way that isnt fun. so i dont have much to say about it, but it also exists as an arcade game in the main timeline thing so im mentioning it

mecha premise, when aliens come down to challenge earth into a fight to extinction FOR FUN, supplying them with all manner of advanced technology and blueprints to build giant mechs to level the playing field. this was kept a secret, kinda like some area 51 shit. decades later in 2011, a number of young adults (18~26) who have specific traits as outlined by the aliens are put into cryonic sleep. they were promised it'd be for 25 years, but the project stalled, and then a world war broke out, and the waiting time ended up actually being nearly a century. they wake up to a delipidated base with very few actual staff, to the point where most of them have to become bridge bunnies, and many of the things promised to them in the future turned out to not be possible (for example one of the candidates was terminally ill and was promised a cure, or even just a proper diagnosis but woke up only to be given a medicine to treat it indefinitely and with no promise of continued effectiveness). there is also a little time loop bullshit here. sorry. also the government also made their own mechs and end up poaching a few from the candidates throughout the story. later on Something secret happens sorry i wont say. <-i might tell you more if you ask about this one because i like it very much also. but also because its the newest

@nanjokei

#rambles #im trying my best bc people expressed interest in oc stuff!! #im not good at opening up about this stuff though :3 #caren ocs

[allsadnshit]

hi izzy im 22 and i have a family history of endo and have been experiencing frightening symptoms and i dont really know who else to talk to in this regard and i hope this isnt rude to send. i am just curious how u went about getting ur diagnosis and what u think are some good first steps for someone experiencing these things. my mom spent a lot of time on a lot of endless painkillers as i was growing up. and im very afraid of reproductive care bc of how archaic it is! love you thank you <3 theres no need to answer if u feel this is too invasive, i appreciate ur time

It's honestly a head start that you already know you have a family history of endo! Although diagnosis is still difficult to get considering surgery is the only official way to get one...you're honestly much more likely to be recommended a surgeon etc if you have your families medical records with it! So that's really good!

Unfortunately I will say for myself and the people I know personally with endo, getting excision surgery wasn't a relief for symptoms as it has often been advertised for some people, so in terms of pain management I don't want to be getting more surgeries myself so I wouldn't tell anyone else too either! That's a pretty personal choice considering risks and recovery, so you will have to think on that pretty seriously if you think excision could help you and make sure you are looking into what the hospitals near you offer.

For myself, diagnosis was really important since I don't have my moms medical records to assist me with understanding my health. I don't think I could be where I am at recovery, management, or socially without having the official diagnosis from laparoscopy so that was really important to me, even though diagnosis didn't do anything for me in terms in qualifying for disability or anything like that! Unfortunately with the medical system you need that paper trail if you plan to do anything in the hospital system in the future, so I am ultimately glad I got my diagnosis even though it hasn't changed things for me in terms of lifestyle or pain.

If you want to start with an obgyn, that's what most people do! And they probably won't let you talk to a specialist before you rule out the basics with getting scans and blood tests first to confirm they can't more easily see why you are in so much pain. But even if your obgyn doesn't help you, you can at least search for a surgeon after that initial intake process being able to say "I already had tests and scans done, it was inconclusive, so I need to move towards surgery for diagnosis".

Obviously I won't have a solution or answer for the broader scope of what to do because even if you do have endo, it's dynamic and can affect people so differently that it really isn't a one size fits all. If anything, I really really do NOT recommend going on any form of hormone or birth control for pain management no matter how hard it's pushed on you. I really don't believe in that method and it's another way to cover up symptoms rather than getting to the root of healing or understanding.

The biggest changes for me have come with lifestyle: changing my diet to healthier less processed options which means not eating out 90% of the time and cooking with really good quality ingredients, getting a nutritionalist who's worked with endo before, cutting back on manual labor working hours, and processing the trauma of chronic illness in therapy and pin pointing places in my life that need my attention or serious over haul for me to rebalance my stress. Stress and endo are soooo tied together because it's hormone effected so it absolutely cannot be overlooked.

Sorry to hear you are suffering in this way! I no longer take any pain medication because of a similar fear. I recommend tiger balm muscle rub lotion on your lower back, getsomedays cramp cream on your front, and a hot rice heating pad on top for pain relief + drink water + sleep well at all costs. It's a marathon not a race!

[transsexualism-archive]

tips for dealing with chronic illness that i wish someone told me when i first got my diagnosis:

as a general rule, people aren't supposed to feel pain or distress every single day. try to compare your pain levels with other people's. even if it's "not that bad". even if you think something is normal

talk to other chronically people. find your community. reddit forums >>>> webmd

i cannot stress this enough check with your doctor if and or how your meds interact with each other, especially if you're starting a new medication

put your meds where you can see them, whether it's your bedside drawer or your desk or the kitchen table. stick post it notes everywhere you can see. set an alarm. set three alarms

for the love of fuck don't drink if your meds don't mix with alcohol. or at least drink responsibly. personally i find that im okay if i have one glass of wine or a beer after a full meal; if you do prioritise drinking over whatever side effects you will potentially have, drink responsibly

that being said, you're allowed to have nice things sometimes, whether it's drinks or a food you can't really eat, or going to bed later

if you need to spend a lot of time in bed, invest in a bedside drawer, or just put a spare chair next to your bed. stuff i try to make sure is always within my reach: water, pain relief cream, tissues, charger and headphones

big water bottle or just straight up a huge plastic bottle near the bed and/or your pc. if you don't like drinking water, juice or soda work just as well

coke zero has anti nausea properties because they put too much artificial sweetener in it and have to counteract it

sleep schedule. lack of sleep can make your pain levels a lot worse

you need to eat. if you don't have energy to cook, ramen and instant soups/instant mash potatoes are a godsent. there's all kinds of dry instant meals. snacks aren't the same as a full meal, but if you have issues with eating a bag of crisps is better than nothing

learn what your body needs. try to notice if there's any patterns. how many hours of sleep do to need? how many spoons do you have on average? what makes your symptoms worse? what makes them better?

mental illness is just as much of an illness as a physical syndrome. you wouldn't expect someone with a broken leg to walk as fast as someone without one. if you're dealing with depression you shouldn't expect for yourself to do the same amount of things as a person who isn't depressed

you can and should ask your doctor as many questions as you need. ask your doctor if you can contact them outside appointments. from experience, most psychiatrists are okay with being texted if you're in a crisis situation and need help/advice immediately

sometimes you're just not able to do something or perform at the same level that people without your condition can. it's really frustrating but you shouldn't have to push yourself to do something which is harder for you than it is for others

write shit down. as someone who is dealing with memory loss, often if i don't write something down it's gone from my brain forever. whether it's notes app or a cute notebook or just a random piece of paper that's lying around, developing a habit to put something down in writing if you notice it is helpful. if journalling is something you enjoy, keeping a mood/other symptoms tracker is a great idea. there's also journalling apps, and different kinds of trackers

half assing things is better than not doing anything at all. wash one plate instead of the entire dishes. clean one part of your room. eat one bite

your body is your friend. don't do things that are bad for it, or at least try to aim not to

that being said, sometimes you do end up choosing to do something that you know you're going to regret later. plan it ahead so you have time to rest after. f e if i do a lot of walking i need to clear my schedule for the next few days because i know i won't be able to get out of bed tomorrow

learn your patterns. what makes you feel better? what alleviates your pain? if you feel bad right now, or on the contrary your symptoms are more manageable than usual, is there something youve done differently today?

sometimes dealing with illness is like taking care of a small child. sometimes the child is throwing a tantrum. sometimes you want to strangle the child

self dx is valid. that being said, if you have an opportunity to see a doctor, absolutely go do it. even if you don't think you actually have the thing. even if it's not that bad. even if it's not disabling. it doesn't hurt to have a medical professional look at your stuff

most importantly, be patient with yourself. most likely you have limitations other people don't, and that's okay. some people can run a marathon and for some walking from their room to their kitchen is a challenge, and neither is better/worse/more valid. physical weakness is not a personal flaw

#pls tell me if theres typos i double checked but yknow #long post #chronic illness #ref #not putting this under a cut btw #advice column #ira talks

[thefinalwitness]

i slept all day and im still severely hurty but i think. we're getting there. o|–< im including a readmore to catch up new ppl who are curious bc ive found being open about my chronic pain has helped inform others to their own so!!!! i like sharing

i've had a gradually worsening chronic illness since 2019-2020—it's hard to say for sure when it started, but my physically demanding job at a retail store slowly went from perfectly doable to 'i cant even survive a four hour shift without multiple episodes of hiding in the bathroom just to let some of the pain subside'.

i ultimately had to quit that job in early 2021, and at the time had a writing job that i thought, surely this will be okay! i was wrong. it was so hard to work as consistently as was needed of me. i spent so much time just writing and then sleeping so i might recover fast enough to do more writing. i was ALWAYS late on deadlines no matter how hard i tried.

eventually that job closed down in general, so naturally i lost it, but i know in my heart i would have had to quit within 6 months otherwise. that was late 2021. i've been unemployed since, with no disability because despite ongoing, regular visits with doctors, we dont know WHATS wrong with me, therefore i do not have a diagnosis, therefore i cannot qualify for disability in my area. yippee!

so that's the backstory! i started pain meds last fall and theyve helped A LOT. i can have fun sometimes! i went to pride this year for the first time since 2019!! there's definitely still something wrong, and lately i do believe it's still worsening (at a slower rate than before i was getting treatment at all), but i've gotten through a lot of the guilt for being 'an unemployed, unproductive human being' and have learned how to be kinder and patient with myself. it's not my fault i'm sick. it's not my fault 'my best' doesn't look like other people's. my family loves me not for what i can do for them, but because they just love me.

it's hard to feel your ability to Do Things slip away. how i cant go to amusement parks anymore bc the trip would wipe my ass out for weeks. how i cant even go to a barbecue next door some days bc everything just hurts too much. the simultaneous RESILIENCE you build, the tolerance for your own pain that makes you second-guess if it's even real. it took me so long to realize what i was feeling was NOT normal, that most people don't have to RATION their activities, their chores, their BASIC HUMAN MAINTENANCE to make sure you don't screw yourself over for tomorrow by being in too much pain to move.

today was bad. i had a really stressful day yesterday, and woke up in so much pain it was literally all i could do to sleep. couldn't eat, couldn't go to the bathroom, couldn't sit up, could BARELY speak. it was like my body was screaming at me, "we should be in a COMA right now, we should be UNCONSCIOUS, this is not something humans were designed to consciously endure." and that's WITH 6+ months medical pain management. it genuinely scares me imagining what this would've felt like today if i WASN'T on my meds.

i'm still very in the woods, but i'm trying to make the most of my situation! i'm open to questions if you want to learn more about this, as one of the biggest things that made me realize i needed help was OTHER PEOPLE being open about their chronic condition. it's not pretty, by any means, i've left out the grossest realities here, but i think it's important to share, in case i can do for someone what those people did for me.

thanks for reading!!!! i appreciate being heard on this too. it's scary, i still worry people will think i'm lazy or a crybaby, so it means a lot when people take the time to try and understand.

<3

#yoshi talks #medical / #chronic pain /

[nippleplayer0]

Heyy you should like, totally give me a MILGRAM matchup ykyk 😘 (pref male character’s but any is fine lmao!)

My names Minn and I am Female but use any pronouns

I’m an African American Woman, with brown skin, brown eyes and curly hair (mostly loose but sometimes in braids!) I’m pansexual

My personality : I’m the calm person mostly, I’m quiet and I like to read manga and play VN’s, bc lonely. I can sometimes be very loud without realizing it and spend most of my times playing music. I also have ,recently diagnosed, ADHD (probably important)

My Favorite Things : Ice Cream (COOKIE AND CREAM ESPECIALLY!!), VN’s (Visual Novels), Jackets (I’m a collector for some reason), Music , Manga, The quiet

Dislikes : Roachs, snakes, creepy dolls, some clowns

Im 5’5 - 5’7

Had to put everything ykykykykykykykyk

Um I match you with me ?! /j

I match you with..

SHIDOU KIRISAKI ✂️

He enjoys your calm nature, he finds it easy to get along with you, you make him hurt a little less

However, he is also very amused by how loud, and excited you can get. You never fail to put a smile on his face

He seems like he enjoys reading, I imagine you two will often sit in a comfortable silence while reading.

He checks out some manga he noticed you like !! He loves checking out your music and book tastes

He'd probably bring home random mangas and say "it seemed like something you'd enjoy."

He's very patient with you, though his doctor field focuses more on physical health, he still is aware of mental health, and makes sure that your late diagnosis hasn't caused anything else to effect you

If there's ever a roach, dw 💪💪 He's in there for u bbg

if he ever notices one before you he just quietly gets up and gets rid of it before you can even notice !!

He likes playing VNs with you !! He finds the stories enchanting, don't be shocked if you find him playing them in his free time as well lolol

If he ever finds any jackets he thinks you'd like, he gets them without a second thought. As a doctor, money isn't too big of an issue, and there's nothing he wouldn't do to see you smile.

Cute date nights would probably be watching any anime adaptations of your favorite manga with each other while eating ice cream you made together !!

[effervescentdragon]

Totally unrelated but i have a question about adhd: how did you do as a kid? (Sorry for being noisy i'm just struggling so much to get a diagnosis cause i was a gifted kid and a calm one and blah blah blah, but i genuinely don't know what else could it be and even the docs don't know so :))) it would be so helpful to hear someone else experience! Only if you're comfortable sharing obv)

Okay so, i only got diagnosed like a couple of years ago so as a kid... shit idek. Some things make sense in retrospect when i think about them now, and i havent unpacked a lot of shit from my childhood yet so idk how much help i will be. So firstly i am hugging you. Then.

I was a kid like 20yrs ago, and i was gifted, precocious, smart af kid with parents that encouraged me in everything i did, and as you may notice, i generally have a very forceful personality and a high opinion of myself, which was always the case. So i coasted on intelligence a lot, only doing assignments at last moment and all that classic stuff. As for the emotional disregulation, you gotta understand that adhd wasnt a thing 20-30yrs ago. Not even as a concept, not where im from. So i always knew i had a lot of emotions but i trained myself to control them, tho i really, really didnt succeed a lot of the time. I am also very charming and can talk my way out of almost anything, so i used that and all the other leverage to minimise the possible negative impact of what i now know was adhd shit on my life. I also think i was very lucky because i had a father that stood by my side come hell or high water, and i knew that even if i did fuck up, he'd support me without question, and a mother that would do the same, albeit in a different way (adhd has a genetic component and im p sure i got it from my momma). There were a lot of things that couldve probs be handled better, but hey, spilled milk and all that shit, im too tired to cry about it now. Kaiidth. :)

I think i was just quite lucky in some things. Also, my adhd got so much worse during covid than it ever was before, but the quality of life improved for me immensely after i finally got the correct diagnosis and meds. Before that, i just kinda ran with it? Adapted? Figured out ways to cheat the system (my awful brain)?

I dont know if this is in any way helpful. I hope you get the right diagnosis as soon as possible fron the bottom of my heart.

#adhd tag #hugging you #akira answers asks

[abyssal-system]

It's late and we can't sleep so I thought I might as well use this blog for its actual intended purpose for once (a diary), so this post might be a little all over the place. im sort of stream-of-consciousness'ing this.

block the tag "#personal" if you dont want to see (potentially sad) personal ramblings / posts from us. be safe, curate your dash, i understand.

things have been very quiet system-wise lately. i think we have a new(?) alter but I'm not sure How new or why they split. I'm not even really sure if its not my imagination tricking me into mistaking an already established headmate as a new split...

i've been thinking about them for a little bit. They seem to go by Hadal (though thats also just a catch-all name for the system when we dont know whos fronting) and i have a sneaking suspicion that they've posted on this blog before.

I havent been dissociating as much lately which is good but ive also not been switching at all which is... not a bad thing really, i guess, but it certainly doesnt help ease my fears of Being A Faker.

i know that systems have quiet periods, and i know that me being frontstuck and also unwilling to change that (fear of loss of control is a pain) so thats probably the reason why, but its still unnerving being the only one around.

ive also been thinking about the logistics of getting a diagnosis... I have a lot of fears about the medical system and abuse within it, particularly being stuck in a mental health facility against my will with no way out. its prevented me from coming out as a system to my parents (who... I feel like theyd understand. not Understand, but im not in any danger if they know. i just worry itll change our relationship in some way, like they wont think im Me anymore) and its prevented me from seeking treatment and understanding of my disorder.

the online system community is also rife with toxicity and misinformation and i do not whatsoever feel safe interacting with people who seem to snap at others without warning, so I dont have many system friends out of fear of reliving past friend group drama

I imagine that the feeling of total isolation I feel is common among other systems, but it doesn't really help to know that. my near-debilitating anxiety controls every part of my life and prevents me from seeking help when i otherwise would have.

it also doesnt really help that the one time i tried to find a dissociation specialist, the only one i could find that said they were queer friendly was 4 hours away in another state.

... i might look again. I might just tell my parents so they can help me look for a therapist.

I worry about that though. I worry that since my plurality doesnt really impact my life all that much (i dont switch very often, I dont have amnesia barriers, and i dont lose control of my body fully when i switch out) that either means Im Faking or Its Not Bad Enough To Worry My Parents Over. Its Not Bad Enough To Drive Across The State To See A Therapist For It when i have a perfectly decent one less than 30 minutes away

... i dont know. it feels like i have all the pieces to get the ball rolling on ... Something? but im not really sure if its worth it. we barely have enough money to keep the pantry full for a week, let alone to switch therapists and drive for hours just so i can Maybe get coping mechanisms or something.

.... I dont really know how to end this. i hope this wasnt too negative for this blog, i know i try to focus on positivity and lighthearted subjects.

please be kind in the notes. there is a (very scared) person behind the screen and I am trying to be better about opening up about my worries. kind advice is always welcome though! if it doesnt help me it could potentially help somebody else.

#this is very personal #apologies #personal #diary #long post #hadal.txt