#well. thanks for reading my vent

[storm-of-feathers]

christ.

#i love joe i do #but the fact that i can hear his snoring through earplugs closed doors AND while in a separate room is #its takin a toll #i think its getting worse tbh but i cant like tell for sure bc its always been super bad and loud #before people start ab sleep apnea: healthcare is a nightmare rn and he doesnt seem to want to see anyone ab it #which. idk i guess its not that serious?? the most it affects him is i dont sleep in the same room anymore #bc i have real bad misophonia and snoring is one of Those Noises #plus like even if they invent the worlds best earplugs that block out all sounds forever #he snores so bad it vibrates the mattress #so... now we got our own sleeping spaces #but hes still like snoring really bad #connecticut was kind of hell bc theres only so much anyone can do #he's also a very heavy sleeper so its not like i can wake him up #and im a very light sleeper #so even when i go to bed first and get to sleep alright when he comes in or lays down i wake up #we've tried like #a wedge pillow some weird mouth guards this chin trap thing some nose strip things #i do genuinely think its sleep apnea so we need a cpap machine i think but those are expensive as fuck #and im not even sure if you can get one without a diagnosis?? #well. thanks for reading my vent #i promise our marriage and relationship is fine and tbh better than a lot of other people we know's... #its just this one thing #:(

[mondaymelon]

vent

#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles! #vent art #is so siilyyyyujosdiafklm #cx #this is from yesterfday night #im ok now <3 #my head was just hurting a lot and i felt like shit and thoughts!! mmm. thoughts #i dont have thoughts very often #top left text reads “the emperor” #other text i will not elaborate on <3 thank you #cw vent #tw vent #warnings added all is well

[mitamicah]

An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"

I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.

When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.

Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.

The lines that especially spoke to me are these: Ja ko pijana budala Ali čaše nisam popio Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe

I’m acting like a drunk idiot But I haven’t had a single glass I think I’ve fallen in love with you

As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.

The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.

While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.

The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.

I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.

It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.

The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it: Baš ja Koji nisam verovao Da za nekim biću lud

Yes, me who didn’t believe I would be crazy about someone

I read this as a very much an aspec experience.

You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.

Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.

You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.

That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.

#my first try making an analysis that I can remember so please be kind #I just couldn't stop thinking about it #almost cried when I read the lyrics #and this may just be a sappy song idk but it spoke to me this way #so I offer you my aro and ausitic reading of it it here #thank you to jokeroutsubs for the quick translation that gave me the chance to babble about this song #I feel so honored having been in the crowd that heard it the first time live :'3 #I really adore sta bih ja too but mostly for how catchy it is #it is pretty as well when you know the lyrics #but this prechorus chorus just spoke to my aching queer platonic aro heart #okay I am done venting now #joker out #bluza #the blouse #mine #micahs thoughts

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics #right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it. #not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context. #just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one????? #the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect?? #the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene???? #what's there to hate??? #and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly? #i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements. #this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate. #and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space. #this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading. #btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this #for a reason that does not exist #as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION. #like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves. #if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings. #jessica's controversial star wars opinions #sabezra #(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol) #it was written in humor not in hurt :)

[scarlet-alleyway]

Small Update

Hi, guys... First things first, I am so sorry for suddenly disappearing on everyone after the last update for this story in late November. I've spent the last week trying to figure out the best way to word this, but it's still a bit difficult for me. It's a bit of a long post, so I'm adding a cut here to let you keep scrolling if you'd like, no worries! TLDR: Story update(s) expected within the next two weeks ^_^

December was great! A little rough, but I actually did a daily drawing challenge on my main account and had a lot of fun right up until New Years. Then January happened, and uh - Things didn't go great. I really don't want to get into detail, and I'd hate to make anyone feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, but I unfortunately went through something that completely wrecked my ability to trust and feel safe around people larger and stronger than me.

By the time I was able to get out of that warped state of mind, months had passed? I genuinely feel like I just blinked, but here we are at the end of March now. Time flew by, just like that. Anyway... I didn't want my experience to seep into my writing. At all. And now I'm feeling a lot more confident that I can actually do that again.

So, hopefully within the next two weeks we'll be back on track ^_^

Thank you all for your patience. So much.

And if you've reached out to me in anyway during my disappearance, thank you so much.

I'm still gathering the courage to respond to people individually again, because it's been so long, but I have most likely seen your message and stared at it for a long while trying to figure out what to say in gratitude and failing miserably. Wishing everyone a wonderful day/week/month, as always.

#apologies to anyone who felt ignored or wronged during my disappearance #the explanation it doesn't make it right but it also felt really weird responding as if i wasn't dead online for a few months #anyway #update #vent #idk what this is #i'm rambling again #because i can't send you all warm food and beverages as thanks for staying and sending well wishes :( #okay... okay bye #thanks for reading

[toxiccaves]

<3

#sry i just wanted to draw something for them. even though its not very good #was a bit hard to draw through tears. its been hard. #i need to vent in the tags so please pardon if its not smthn u want to read #ive been so struck with guilt for what i didnt do and what more i shouldve done. the pain of how alone i feel now #but they did so much for me. they were the only family i rlly had here. they helped me grow to be more responsible caring and loving #and i just am overwhelmed with how much they both meant to me and just how much love was shared. im so thankful to them for everything #theyve been with me for nearly half my lifetime!! it really felt like we were going to be together for an eternity. #i hope theyre doing well wherever they are now. i hope theyre getting to do everything they couldve ever wanted #its still really hard to process all of this and how everythings so different now. i miss them both so much. #i love you kitt. i love you stinky. always and forever <3

[irritablepoe]

Little rant about my friend and consuming media lmao

Ok how do you consume media and still have NO IDEA who even the main character's name is? I recommended tma and bsd to a friend - well he started both. I ask him about it - like who his favourite character is or what he thinks of it - and he's so.... Confused almost? Like he just shrugged and said that he actually had no idea what was going on - which ok is kinda fair with bsd but like. you know the characters at least. Each one of them is introduced in some dramatic way, you can't MISS any of that and surely there's at least one character that gets your attention/that you relate to/that you find interesting. I mean ok maybe you forget the name or sth, but you at least remember the characters when I describe them to you, right? But no, my friend had no idea who for example Dazai was - DAZAI?! Like. What???? Or Atsushi.. the fucking main character???? Or chuuya???? Or - anyone??? I was so perplexed. How can you watch something and still have no idea about what you're watching?

The same happened with tma. I recommended it, he listened to the first few episodes. I asked him what he thought of Jon. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHO JON WAS I MEAN WHAT???? Oh idk he's just the guy reading the fucking statements. Before every statement he says "audio recording by Jonathan Sims" like how can you... miss that?

Idk, am I just consuming media so intensely or is he just... I don't even know.... Disinterested in engaging with the media one is consuming? It's not even that he doesn't like it. I asked him and he said it was good. But what exactly does he find good when he has no idea about. like. anything.

#vent post #personal #ranted to my mum about it as well and she said it might be bc he's stoned out of his ass the whole time #hhhhh #but i think more and more people don't have media literacy anymore #like they don't consume media critically they just watch whatever gets their attention first #it feels so dystopian.... #like wasting your time on those types of media just so that you're passing the time and not engaging with it #idk if that makes sense #i think I'm kinda hurt as well bc i thought we could talk about these series together #i even watched some of the things he enjoyed but he doesn't have a clue about them either #he always says that i become the “expert” on those mediums anyways so he doesn't have sth to add to the conversation #but that's not at all what i want? like I'm not the expert of anything i just want to talk about what he enjoys #and maybe get him to talk about things i enjoy as well #this all feels so bitchy I'm so sorry #ok rant over ig #thank you for reading all of that🙏💕

[flagsontheland]

.

#i don't really do the vent in tags thing but i don't really want to talk to my friends about this for now #but i HATE my body's trauma responses #and i don't know how to stop it ugh #i felt bad about something i said to someone who means a lot to me #and i texted him an apology #and my body was like (: time to uncontrollably sob!!! #and then he said i'm all good and HE apologized for his side of it and said he'll do better #and my body was like #ohohoho let's cry MORE #idk maybe i just haven't slept well lately so i'm more emotional #but i just wish i could practice healthy and humble communication without my body and brain making it a whole ordeal #anyway this whole week has had really good things but also really shitty mental health things #but i'm hoping to rest today #and i have an 8 hour shift tomorrow so hopefully that'll get me out of my head #anyway thanks for reading

[chaoticgouda]

#nonbinary #(saved this bc the first tweet op posted felt mean and made me uncomfortable) #but I still wanted to vent about this because what is restraint and boundaries online amirite #so here we go again: #I feel uncomfortable being called my irl name everywhere except at work and I feel like that’s bc the worksona i crafted #is so irontight that I’m fine being a Lady there but it low-key rankles me anywhere else #idk if that’s a gender thing or just a case of apathy and extreme alienation from myself though #I’d rather die than ever talk to my co-workers about other pronouns or anything though bc the gossip would spread throughout work within- #the hour. and it’s not like people would be really awkward about it (I hope) because I think I’m generally liked by my coworkers. but I’d #hate to be pitied or misunderstood. and it’s not like i have dysphoria or anything so I don’t personally feel justified in calling myself #trans. I’m just alienated from womanhood. but that could also be because i don’t have an interest in most socially-expected ‘woman things’ #and bc I’m not mentally well or het. and that inherently separates you from the expected Girl Experience. #this is really rambly and nonsensical okay I guess if I really thought about it I’d love to be called Krill by everyone because it has less #baggage and feels more like me. but i’m not necessarily upset at being called my RL name. I don’t have dysphoria I just have mild ick. #like I’d prefer being considered a They and not being expected to be any gender at all. but it doesn’t kill me inside y’know #it’s fine. #if you read through this weird personal ramble then thanks ig?

[exp123mon]

Gonna steadily (re)post art in bulk fried in Glaze.

#myart #original character #character design #now my tantrum is finished i will post stuff lol #seriously though it was bad timing my mental health has been shit since my mum died in january and i was gonna do something this month sinc #its ovarian cancer awareness month and thats what she died from #was gonna open kofi to take donations for doodles to give to charity but the tumblr ai thing was just another huge turd #from the universe in the cereal bowl of my life #“um actually instead of you being productive how about fuck you :)” - the universe whenever i try to do literally anything #anyway these tags are making me seem very mentally stable so maybe i will stop hehehe #but seriously don't be concerned i just need to vent somewhere. i actually feel i turned a corner this week with the grief but. ugh. #a shit shower is still a shit shower even if you manage to find an umbrella yknow #on the bright side i subbed to sheezy art and i'm really impressed with it so far #well if you read this far thanks for reading. sorry for being depressing. take care of yourselves and each other!! #dang i needed this vent more than i realised lol #rant

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism

[studiousbotanist]

#does a bear blog in the woods #just phantom period stuff fuckingbw my brain chem i think is whats going on this week ! #i knew the new tfb would rip emotions outta me but im messed uppppp . #ive been single the longest ive been in a Long Time now ... #theres good and bad . theres so much cooking in my head from these few months #dealint with grief . bad job . good job now #and still working on getting my life and health togethwr #and im really trying to craft and make shit again . its So necessary for your soul and ive been neglecting #tabletop has helped so much and roleplay will too qhen i get into it #in the mean time though . im LONELY !! im in a mood where being by myself is Torrrtureeee . butnive also been overstimmed ! #i was very somber earlier cuz i jusf did Not have rhe energy to be up and do shit ..wjich is why i called out #but was just thinking the thing i miss most abt a relationship is always having some1 to hang out w or be around #especially physical side cause i am very physically affectionate !!! and tryin to get back to it . #its been hard cus of well ...trauma and also the pandemic . overthinking . itd help if i cried i think #i coulsve put this all ina read more ..too late now LOL ! #i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly #but good gd its difficult when we are All exhausted . and when i judt Need the vocal speak vs typing #if u read all this mess thank you LOL . ill be okay . ive got to let myself feel this

[mel-loly]

-“That hurt.”

#this art is not intended to be beautiful or anything like that. because this is just a “vent” #I ask that you please do not ask me what happened or why I posted this vent.. #you don't have to worry about me either. I might not be doing so well and I'll admit that. but don't worry. it's going to be okay! #you guys know i'm a person of faith. and hope is something i don't lack either. so i'll be fine. i promise <333 #you don't need to say anything either! this post is just something to ease my pain of keeping this feeling a little #it's good sometimes to vent to someone that way (in my opinion) #so.. yeah. I'll be fine! also- I will still continue posting and also doing my best to answer all of you. so- no need to worry. okay? #thank you a lot for reading and have a wonderful day/night💛 #vent art #vent post #personal vent #vent #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️ #my art blog #art #my art #my art <3 #art mel #my art style #things about me #tw: depressive thoughts #? #I'll be fine! <3 #personal thoughts #personal things

[midnight-pluto]

sorry bookies i will be going on a hiatus for the rest of January due to ✨issues✨ 😔😔

#rin’s rants 🥀 #im going to put the rest of this in tags as a way to vent so dw pookie u can keep scrolling 🫶🫶 #but yea I just feel myself chasing after likes on each post as this site has become a way for me to feel noticed and I don’t wanna that #ig it all started when i got shadowbanned and my blog was unnoticeable for a week and that rlly effected me a lot more than it should have #like mentally and physically which it honestly shouldn’t have #I’ve been chasing to get attention on this blog ever since by (if u noticed) updating multiple times a week and only posting what does best #all of my short smau’s and jjk are basically my way of getting that feeling of satisfaction of pleasing a big audience #even tho im def not a big blog im making this post like i am 💀 whoops that sounded a lil pick me mb #i jus wanna take some time to get out of that mentality and go back to making posts regardless if it won’t do well with tumblrs algorithm #but uh if u read all of this thank you #thank you to everyone who have followed me and liked my posts #ilysm /p

[brookheimer]

#again this is all my fault i had a week to do this i just can’t seem to do any work unless the deadline is within like . 24 hours #otherwise i can’t get myself to focus or care #thanks brain. #the film one will be easy though i can bullshit it bc my profs give out B+ as the highest grade apparently so i should stop writing A papers #for them and just get the same grade for less work . unfortunately i love writing papers (even though i hate it) and can never actually #like phone in a paper like even when i try to i end ip getting into it by the end #i’m so bad at just being like yeah let’s write a B paper. i canyyyyttttyt ! which is so annoying bc i’ll get a B in this class anyways bc #it’s 300 ppl and they don’t read the papers they just give everyone a B+ so WHY DO I BOTHER #praying that for the first time in my life i write a mid paper on purpose and it takes an hour or so #then i can focus the next 12 hours on the paper i both want and need to do well on #well maybe not NEED like i’d prob get an A in the class if i got a B+ or even a B maybe on the final #but it’s my last class ever (transferring😬) with my favorite professor in the world . i have never gotten below an A- from him on a paper #and that was only in my first class w him like i’ve gotten all As since so i NEEEEED to go out w a bang. seriously. i like him too much not #to!!! it’s also a topic i’m rly interested in except also i still don’t actually know my thesis. i just have 20 pages of brainstorming and #research. don’t know what i’m doing w it yet tho #agggggghh #so mad at myself — went to bed at 7 FUCKING PM by accident bc i hadn’t slept in 40 hours and forgot to set an alarm for like 6 to try and #make up for all the work i didn’t do yesterday so now here we r. aaaagggggggh #sorry for the personal vent in the tags but this is my blog i can vent if i want to (to the tune of that one song) #i’m actually insane why am i subjecting myself to this. and even worse why am i (ADHD #depression insane) transferring to one of the like 20 schools in america that’s more academically demanding than the one i’m at rn. why am #i making things worse for myself. #except blah blah blah not really i’m fine academically and honestly except for finals (which is always just a procrastination issue w me) #cld provably use smth a little more demanding at times like i need classes hard enough to actually convince my brain that i need to do yhe #readings lolll like i genuinely always Want to do them bc they’re things i am honestly super interested in i just a) am so bad at focusing #and b) am Disturbingly good at bullshitting like i typically am one of the most talkative ppl in classes despite doing 1/2 or less of the #readings.. and like not even to get a participation grade. just bc i can skim it and immediately have things to say ab it #that’s why i won a like national award in high school for a paper on a book i didn’t actually read😬 except i had WANTED! to read it! #that’s the issue like. if u know u can bullshit something how do u get ur adhd brain to get the message that u actually want to read it #raAaagh ok personal rambling over o know it’s prob annoying bc like i Do do well in school n i am grateful i just wish i was healthier ab it