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#and now we think it's addison's disease
piratefalls · 1 year
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there’s been so much going on in the last like two weeks and i am so tired and it’s coming up on final exams at work and that’s going to make me more tired and i am now double tired in advance
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cage-cat-yt · 1 year
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Big art dump (also happy autism awareness month!)
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Ok so first thing was just some art I did for autism awareness month because this sort of thing means a lot to me. These are all just headcanons (except Kayz and Cain but that's cause they're my ocs and canonically) so if yoy wanna hear more about them don't be afraid to send an ask!
Next page I'm actually super proud of, and Khalil is just so fun to color omg omg! Also the Geist and Khalil one was fun to draw. The ship art too once I got the sketch done.
Third thing was just some sketches I wanted to do, I accidentally made Jack's skin tone a little dark (I use Rose beige but used brick brown by accident- oops) but I think it still turned out good. Also the Orange addison is slaying that pose
Next 3 things was an art project for school. We had to make (or remake) album covers or music posters, so I decided to create a theoretical Tesla album! It turned out pretty good, could've done better on the shading tho.
Then there's some sketches for an au where Drunk Guy gets Hanahaki disease! I'm still messing with it but can talk about it if you wanna hear ^^
Then I drew Spamton because I love him and I needed comfort that day really badly.
Then final thing I redrew a scene from entry 61 because I was feeling bad lol.
Also I'm doing better now for people worried.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Remember to hydrate and I hope you have a good day :)
Characters
Jack Walten (The Walten Files) <3
Sophie Walten (The Walten Files)
Zero_One (The Living Tombstone)
Hit the snooze girl (the living tombstone)
Jay Merrick (Marble Hornets)
Engineer (Team Fortress 2)
Claire (Jack Stauber's Opal)
Yellow Guy (Don't hug me I'm scared)
Katz Macpherson (Josef and Sauer)
Cain Sephtis (Josef and Sauer)
Tim Wright (Marble Hornets) <3
Khalil (The living tombstone oc)
Geist (The Living Tombstone)
Drunk guy (The living tombstone) <3
Wiw guy (The Living Tombstone)
Orange Addison (deltarune)
Unnamed tlt ocs (same species as DG, which in my hc is mostly human but having some tombsona in them, not enough to make much of a difference tho)
Tesla (The living tombstone)
The entirety of the tlt cast on the back part
Spamton (Deltarune) <3
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bella-caecilia · 2 years
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Okay, since it also came up in a recent lecture I had, I did more in-depth research on the history of pernicious anaemia and its treatments. So, now I'm presenting to you the key insights (I'm only boring you with the most central medical and historical information lol, it won't be a very scientific abstract, so no technical terms I think)
Quick basic information: pernicious anaemia is a severe condition resulting from a vitamin B12 deficiency due to malabsorption because of a lack of intrinsic factor which is necessary to absorb vitamin B12, now rather well treatable with high-dose vitamin B12 supplements.
So, for temporal classification, DA - A new era takes place in the summer of 1928 (an interesting year for pernicious anaemia, but more of that later). Dr Clarkson suggests that the diagnosis of pernicious anaemia isn't as fatal as only years before. He says there is a new treatment that isn't pleasant but poses a real chance for Cora to not succumb to the disease. The way it's portrayed in the film I feel like the great health scare Cora has in the story is nearly eliminated by Clarkson's last statement but I don't think that is very realistic.
The clinical presentation of pernicious anaemia was first described by Thomas Addison in 1849, and it was first referred to as "pernicious" anaemia in 1871 by Michael Biermer. Only around the year 1920, the role of the liver in haematopoiesis was discovered as an important step also in the treatment of pernicious anaemia. The belief was that the high iron levels would help the patients produce more blood, not knowing the deficiency was actually the vitamin B12 (also pretty high in the liver). Before it was used as a treatment for patients suffering from pernicious anaemia, however, there were studies on dogs. Around 1926, raw liver was first suggested as a treatment for humans. This diet (which relieved the former diet that was mainly rich in iron and low in calories + not very successful) consisted of huge amounts of raw calf's liver daily(!). Fun fact: because of that, calf's liver was only available and restricted to medical purposes at that time.
But different to what Dr Clarkson (or maybe more the makers of the film) suggested, it wasn't the long looked-for cure. Yes, raw liver did improve the patients' lives but it was still a severe condition and the treatment didn't promise a long life. Patients still died from the condition after not too long. Also, what Dr Clarkson might be trying to get at with his comment about the unpleasant nature of the treatment, it was very hard to consume such amounts of raw liver daily and posed a real struggle. In 1928, the first extract from raw liver was produced, not meaning that it was available for treatment in the English countryside or even in London offices right away. Maybe Dr Clarkson is already talking about the extract (which is actually more proficient than liver and maybe what JF was thinking about) but I don't think it's realistic that such a fresh subject of research was available to Cora at that time. Maybe some years later, since in 1931, the extract was first given intravenously to a patient because they didn't respond to the oral cure and this multiplied the positive effects of the treatment. It was the chosen treatment until the 1950s when pernicious anaemia could be specifically treated with vitamin B12 preparations (high doses and often life-long).
I don't want to say, Cora didn't get proper treatment or the prospects presented in the film were entirely wrong but I think her immediate future might have looked quite a bit different than the atmosphere and feeling that the film leaves us with (also with the rather happy and rosy last time leap we see in the film) suggests. I think it took at least more than a year (probably longer) for her to reach a point where she could lead a relatively fully pleasant life again. For pernicious anaemia to be diagnosed, she must have already been in a rather severe state. Could be worse probably if she could hide her symptoms so well but she definitely was seriously ill. I think the raw liver was a torment for her (which she probably didn't like to show). Depending on how quickly and well the liver extract was available to her and how advanced her condition already was, in the worst case, the symptoms and causes of the condition might have worsened (including next to fatigue, also depression, memory loss, and more severe gastric symptoms) first before she received a better treatment. In a better case, she could eventually live a rather uncomplicated life with her symptoms going back due to a timely treatment with the extract, which would accompany her for the rest of her life, though. Maybe, her rank and Robert's determination helped her to get early access to the much more promising treatments. (Poor Robert, will be surrounded by medical stuff and information forever now.)
I think it is rather safe to say, that she won't follow Violet in her footsteps of becoming an aged dowager matriarch of Downton.
And another unnecessary medical fact I don't want to know but I'm sharing with you because you have to suffer too, is that both, Cora and Robert, have a high risk due to their different medical histories to develop gastric cancer.
Okay, enough of the rambling :)
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clovercoin · 2 years
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CloverCoin July 2022 Artpack n Updates
>>> Patreon Post Welp. July was.... a very unexpected train wreck here at the end. Still have a couple of July Patron Customs I'll be finishing up this week so we can get started on this month's order. So you'll be hearing updates very soon! Where to start... Well. Round 2 of commissions is completed and shipped to all customers. I'm so thrilled with my work lately and makes me incredibly happy to do this. ~~~
Big family death updates in the information below.
Early/Mid July I got pretty under the weather with my period, took about 2 weeks to recover. Back on all my meds now and feeling much better, but it took up a lot of my free time during July. Right here at the end of the month our Uncle passed away from heart attack.  Our grandmother has also just passed away this week from a bad fall she couldn't recover from.  My father this last week was hospitalized for staph infection. Today we got further news he's in more critical conditions and most likely will need permeant dialysis. We are waiting for more updates. Junior, our rottie / middle dog, had a small injury during a dog walk this month. His bad leg with the ACL repair started to audibly pop every single time he walked or ran anywhere. He seems to be distracted by it. We have refilled his puppy advil and giving that to him twice a day which is helping. Junior has been to his general vet, they can't do anything for his leg and suggest we go to the surgeon who worked on his ACL injury. So we have that scheduled and waiting for. Junior did have to return to his general vet, his blood work and came back with high levels and we are currently doing more testing to see if he has Addison's disease. We are still waiting for results. If you would like to help us out at all with Junior's vet bills, I have a ko-fi goal where I've been logging payments I get for art, adopts, & donations.  And I've been just having a little bit of personal drama in my own life. I'm just really struggling and it is affecting my friendships. So... I think we can all conclude July sucked. It's been... A long month. And it's all still not over. We're constantly on the phone with Prov's Mother to talk about dad and what medical decisions we need to be making and that he will be happy with. So unfortunately it's going to spill over into this month while we work with our family to... get everything organized.  Both prov and I can not afford to travel or go to anyone's funeral. We are very upset by this and would like to be there and support our families. But with covid and an active pandemic we are required to stay in isolation for my health. Prov will be taking 2 weeks off from his work to... just grieve and recover. We'll spend this time cleaning up our home and start meal prepping. I would like to think we will stream too, we need lots of distractions right now. Prov's school loan payments also start this month so we will have an extra $300 bill every month I have not planned for whoops. I will not be taking any time off work because with Junior's vet bills coming up we do not have enough in savings. And if he is diagnosed with Addison's it will be a pretty big monthly bill for his medications. I need to start working harder and pinching more pennies now while I have this bare minimum head start. So my  goal is to do a lot more kitchen cleaning / meal prep to save money on delivered meals. Do my patreon speedpaint tier rewards for last month / this month. And if there are any spoons left, I'll be opening for Round 3 commissions. Probably only make three slots in the next opening just because I'm wiped out and don't want to overburden myself. And... I think that's everything on my plate. I think. I honestly might have missed stuff but... I'm so scrambled right now. Please know I'm trying my best. I am here. I'm going to keep trying. Thank you everyone for the support. Thank you for taking time to read this. AJD . ART
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post-futurism · 4 years
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lightofthemagdalene · 3 years
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An Introduction
Why hello there! I'm Ceci, but you can call me Echo or Billie or Corr or anything that speaks to you really! My pronouns are she/her/hers or they/them/theirs, and I'm an Irish-American witch who's been practicing to various degrees since I was a tiny child! My parents and extended family raised me on folklore and fairy tales, and while I wasn't raised by pagans I sure did become one pretty quickly!
I started working with An Mórrígan sometime in 2010/2011, and I haven't really ever felt the need to look elsewhere! I occasionally work with Brigid and am getting ready to start my studies on An Dagda and Cailleach in the near future! Still, most likely you'll only hear me talking about Herself as she and I have gotten pretty used to each other.
Learning and understanding lore is something that is very important to me, anything I mark as a UPG is NOT intended to be thought of as truth for all. I also make rather a point of not discussing my relationship with Herself with people, as in my philosophy most people's experiences will be rather different and you should develop your own relationship and not try to model it off of mine. I ask that you do not try to talk about your own personal relationship with Herself with me, but I am ALWAYS happy to talk lore or just general experiences and practice!
Some of my devotional practices include not lying and always (kindly) correcting misinformation whenever I can! Just a heads up, if we start chatting and you claim something Irish as "Celtic" or say a UPG that's been mass produced (i.e. the idea that An Mórrígan is a sex goddess) I am gonna correct you! I'll even provide sources if you like! Please do not interact with me or my blog if you're not ready to be challenged on appropriated beliefs. I mean any and all corrections only with the greatest love and care.
I am also becoming educated/practiced in journeying/astral travel, I practice kitchen witchery and herbalism, and I'm getting into foraging via my companion Duir who is teaching me!
Essentially I am a draoí in training (via the Irish Pagan School which you should check out) with leagues to go! Come study with me!
Now, moving on, I work with several spirits. Two of which (Addison and Amara) are pseudo-headmates, though we've balanced out a lot in recent days and I currently think of them as something more akin to what most in the pagan community call "spirits"! You'll see me post quite regularly about the two of them, and also will likely hear a good deal about my three main spirit companions Duir (a puca-adjacent creature who I have known a long long time but only recently reconnected with), Roxie (a juvenile raccoon), and Orias (a kind of reaper from another world, related to Addison and Amara).
Orias, Addison, and Amara are all part of what I will tag as my personal pantheon! They (in addition to several others) come from a very different place with very different practices! I learn from them and they learn from me, it's a great time! If you're ever curious about them PLEASE don't hesitate to ask! I love talking about them and having more info in the tags will likely help anyone else trying to figure out who the fuck The Magdalene is!
All my companions' posts are tagged with their names, so it won't be too hard to find out more on them as I get more posted, but in the meantime I'll consider this their brief little introduction.
My asks are always open! Feel free to drop in any time to ask me or my companions a question, or request an ogham reading! I also make ogham sets from sustainably sourced (read: I cut it myself from my own forest property, typically from dead,invasive, or diseased trees) and they can be commissioned from me via ask as well.
Amara will occasionally be up for offering readings! If you would like a reading from The Magdalene be prepared to send us a piece of music which represents either yourself or the issue at hand for her. Ask your questions with honesty and vulnerability and she will be as helpful as she can.
In addition to all that I'm a mentally ill queer NB woman with an open door policy and a lot of love in me. I hope to find some more community here as well as a place to express myself!
It's been a looooong time since I did anything on tumblr! I look forward to getting to know you!
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ask-dahlia-mist · 3 years
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Update on health
OOC (Hello there sweeties, I am the owner of this blog and I think it is only fair that you know why I disappeared all of a sudden. Well that is a very unfortunate story but one i will tell without reservation. I have been very ill most of my life, I have suffered from my early childhood (I believe 10 or so). I was rushed to hospital with acute renal (kidney) failure, collapsed lung, full body sepsis, heart attack and brain attack. I was placed in a coma to stabilize me and thank goodness I was not in there for too long otherwise I’d become stir crazy, heh heh just a little joke. There are many types of illnesses and diseases in this world, some are very visible and some are not. I was blessed with one of the less visible ones. Addisons Disease. What is Addisons disease one might ask, well the body used something called adrenaline for more than just adrenaline rushes. It is basically what keeps us alive, what keeps us from simply going into shock. When the adrenal glands above the kidneys are damaged they no longer produce cortisol which is what the body uses to make adrenaline. I have been living with this barely manageable illness my whole life with other diagnosed illnesses on top which were triggering stress which in turn triggered my Addisons. For the past few years I have been in and out of hospital with a myriad of symptoms, for the sake of things I felt like I had the flu almost daily, even right now as we type I feel drunk, I feel like I have brain fog and yes I feel nausea. Thankfully my long journey is about to come to an end because in recent scans and tests they have have pretty much established that I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis) which would explain why my Addisons medication feels like it’s not doing it’s job. There is inflammation in my brain, the cortisol goes to fix it instead of replace what my body is lacking with the Addisons. So yes, a quick peek into the life of Dahlia-mod. I really do hope we can get back to our regular posting soon. I go into my next appointment on the 8th of December so I hope to be diagnosed then and there and can finally begin treatment and some relief from the constant duress that has become my daily life.)
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oboevallis · 3 years
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will he be okay?
TW: Chrons disease
ive mentioned in a story before about how bennys character is based off my friend and i, so i asked him if it was okay if i added this into this story and he agreed, he was diagnosed with Chrons disease when we were in third grade, and he’s been such an optimist through out all the struggles he’s faced throughout the years and ive never had such respect for someone or have met anyone stronger, i hope everyone is doing well and staying safe
"I'm going to go get the kids from he school bus, and make sure they don't bring home any more stray dogs." Link said as he stuck his head through the door to the nursery.
"Alright, just make sure they're quiet when they come in. I'm hoping this guy will go right to sleep once he's done eating."
"I'll make sure of it." He assured as he quietly shut the door. Before he left he secured the dog on his leash and made his way to the bus stop.
Once his kids got off the bus they ran to him, or so he thought. The pair leaned down to pet the dog, unintentionally ignoring their father.
"Hello to you too." Link did his signature wave trying to catch his kids attention.
"Sorry Dad." Scout apologized as he jumped up to hug his father. "I just missed Rex, and it seems like he missed us."
"He did, he stayed by the window all day waiting for you two."
"Aww, that's kind of sad." Scout replied taking the leash from his dad, trying to show that he could handle the responsibility of a dog.
"Well he's happy now." Link ruffled his son hair in attempt to comfort him, he looked back to see his daughter trudging behind. He walked over to her and picked her up. "Everything okay? You seem kind of down."
"Yeah." The girl sighed leaning her head on his shoulder.
The father looked at her daughter, concerned. For the past couple of days she seemed to be down, he was starting to worry that she was feeling left out. He didn't want her feeling like the cliche middle child, he wanted her to feel loved and attended to. Before he opened the door he reminded them to be quiet to allow their brother to sleep.
"How was school?" Amelia whispered as she walked down the stairs to be met with her family.
"Good!" Scout whispered, as he unbuckled the dogs leash. "I got 100 on my spelling test!"
"Good job!" Amelia congratulated. "And how was your day Addie?"
"Fine." She sighed walking away as her father let her down.
"Is she okay?" Amelia asked her husband as the girl was put of ear shot.
"I don't know, she's been quiet since she got off the bus. Is she feeling left out do you think?"
"Maybe? I mean we've been pretty preoccupied with the baby. I'm gonna talk to her tonight."
_______________________________________
"So which story are we reading tonight?" Amelia asked her daughter as she sat on her knees by the bookshelf.
"Can I just go to sleep?" She asked turning around to face the wall.
"I'm sorry me and your dad have been so preoccupied with Anders, it doesn't mean we love you any less. We still love you so so so much." The mother was met with silence, She stood up to sit on the edge of her daughters bed placing a comfortable hand on her leg. "Alright you don't have to talk, but you still have to wake up early tomorrow for book club even if it's Saturday."
"I'm not going to book club." This statement shocked the girls mother, there was never a week she missed it if she could help it.
"Why?"
"I just don't want to."
"Did you and Benny get into a fight?" To this her daughter started to cry. Amelia moved herself so she could embrace her daughter. "What happened?"
"He hasn't been in school for almost two weeks. And I don't know if he was at book club last week because we went to see Anders." The girl cried into her mother's chest.
"He could have the flu. We'll see if he's at book club tomorrow and if not I'll cal his dad."
"No, I don't want to go without Benny."
"Okay." Amelia kissed the top of her daughters head and allowed her to cry.
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"What'd his dad say?" Link asked when his wife walked back into their sons nursery.
"They're still running tests, but they think he has Chrons disease."
"God, poor guy." Link sighed, as he rocked his son to sleep. He knew what it was like to grow up in a hospital, and it sadden him that such a good kid like Benny had to go through that. "Are you gonna tell Addie?"
"No, not until they confirm the diagnosis." Amelia kneeled down at the rocking chair where her husband and son resided, and rubbed her sons head. "With Christopher I didn't really have to watch him suffer that much, I-I just can't imagine watching your kid be in so much pain everyday and your powerless to fix them."
"Me either."
A knock on the door, taking them out of their conversation. Their daughter slowly opened the door, and smiled at her parents.
"What did his dad say?" She asked as she walked over to admire the baby with her parents.
"Well, um he's sick so he's at the doctors right now. Their gonna run tests to see what's going on."
"And their gonna fix him?" She asked hopefully, a smile plastered across her face. The couple looked at each other unsure of what to say to their daughter.
"Their gonna help him feel better." At the moment there was no cure for the condition, but there was treatment to help manage the pain and to keep it from progressing.
"That's good, I can't wait till he's back at school." Addison stated before she left the room.
"Did we just give her false hope?" Amelia asked biting at her nail.
"No, no, kids are resilient, and they can live pretty normal lives with the condition. I mean he probably won't be at school too often, but I saw kids with the disease while at the hospital and their still normal kids with normal lives." Link assured.
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It had been three weeks since Bennys diagnosis of Chrons disease had been confirmed. His dad called Amelia, asking if Addie could come by and say hi. Benny was pretty upset, and wanted to see his best friend.
"Hey Addie." Amelia leaned in her daughters doorway.
"Hey mommy." She laid in the middle of the floor, watching her fan spin around. Her mother moved to lay next to her.
"Do you remember when we talked about Benny being at the doctors?" The girl nodded in response. "Well he has something called Chrons disease. So his intestines are inflamed, which causes him to have a lot of stomach pain." She tried to state it in the simplest of terms and the less scary version.
"Okay, when do they do surgery to fix it?" The five year old asked.
"Well surgery isn't going to fix this, he may need it in the future to help him, but this doesn't get cured. The doctors are looking for a cure, but they've figured out how to help people manage it and not feel as bad."
"Oh." Amelia could see the sadness on her daughters face. "He'll still go to school right?"
"Well he'll try, but probably not a lot."
"How will he learn?"
"The teachers will probably send work home to him, and a tutor will come by and help him."
"Will he still be able to play?"
"When he feels up to it."
"What about reading?"
"He'll still be able to read."
"Can I see him?"
"Yeah, actually he asked if you can come over tomorrow." The girl nodded vigorously in agreement, she could tell the girl was trying to be strong. The little girl wrapped her arms around her mother, allowing tears to stain her shirt.
________________________________________
"Hi." Addie shyly greeted as she stood at his bedroom door.
"Hi! Come in!" He cheerfully said, waving at her to walk in further. "Let's color, I printed out some new coloring sheets.
"Okay." She agreed sitting next to him on the floor and picking up a crayon along with a sheet of paper. "Do you feel okay?"
"They gave me some medicine, it helps a little bit."
"Does that hurt?" Addie asked pointing to the IV in his arm.
"No, and can we not talk about my sickness and just color?"
"Yeah." Addie smiled brightly, she wanted to help her friend but she was relieved that they could pretend everything was normal.
"Did your mom have the baby?"
"Yeah, his name is Anders. Oh! And we got a dog!"
"Really?! What kind of dog?" He matched her excitement, he knew how much she wanted one.
"We're not sure we found him hurt in a park. His name is Rex though."
"Next time we go to he park you need to bring Rex and I'll bring Buddy. They're gonna be best friends just like us!"
"Best friends." Addie smiled looking at her friend before she continued to color.
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professorspork · 4 years
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ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY
I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.
now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)
this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut
one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.
I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.
then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.
I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.
I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 
and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.
before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.
swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.
went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.
then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 
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gennadrew · 3 years
Text
Theodora
Genisis Delgado
Professor Rosema
English 1208
12 December 2020
Theodora
I turn on the T.V. and see the news headlines. John F. Kennedy has been assassinated. As I finish my breakfast, I walk into my bedroom and grab my bags. My granddaughter is arriving today to take me on my first trip to the United States. I do not know how to tell my family that I do not want to go. The U.S. looks like a strange place and very different from my homeland. How could I possibly be happy in a place that is so violent and very much in need of change? I know my own land needs improvement, but I have been here my entire life. This is my home, but I must leave it behind. I am told that I have dementia, but I cannot wrap my head around the idea of forgetting my loved ones. My thoughts are complete and concise but when I open my mouth all I hear is gibberish. I cannot explain that I am afraid. I cannot defend myself. I am 70 years old with a bad hip and all I can think about is hiding. It is too late. My guest knocks on my door and she is the spitting image of my daughter.
I try to find the words to say “Jaqueline”, but I just give off a confused stare. My son tells me that my guest’s name is Jenny. She is as pale as ghost and her hair changes color in different light. Jenny is just like her mother. She walks towards me and leans in for a hug. I stand frozen, incapable of moving an inch.
Things are not supposed to be this way. A grandmother should be able to recognize her grandchildren. A mother should remember her children. Their President should be alive. I should have control over my thoughts and actions but instead I am here. I am in the arms of a complete stranger. Jenny takes my bags and puts them in the taxi. I want to say thank you but instead I say, “Why are you stealing my luggage?”. Jenny gives off a slight chuckle and says, “Mama Dora, I am not stealing anything. We are going away for a while”.
I shake my head no, but everyone says yes. As we drive off, I think to myself, “If Kennedy can unite an entire country while having Addison’s disease, then I can enjoy the time I have with my family regardless of the dementia”.
We are now at the airport. To my left is the family I am leaving behind for some time, to my right is my granddaughter who I hardly know. We make our way to the correct gate and say our goodbyes. We are now alone, and Jenny guides me to my seat on the plane. The seats are cold and hard and the seat is hollowed which shows that is has held many passengers.
We learn that our seats are not next to each other and it causes a disturbance on the plane. People curse us and one man in his late twenties’ yells at us to “Move out of the freaking way!” I panic and start to hyperventilate. Jenny is very quick to defend me against impatient passengers, something I wish that I could do for myself. She says to him, “Don’t you dare speak to my grandmother that way. Do you think she chose to have a debilitating condition? She can’t help her situation, but you can help yourself by choosing not to be an asshat.” The plain falls silent as the man has 80 eyes turn to him. A young couple offer us their seats and Jenny and I are grateful.
The plane is taking off and I can feel flutters in my stomach. I start to scream, and Jenny gives my hand a tight squeeze. She assures me that everything will be alright. I believe her. Jenny hands me a small stone and tells me that flying makes her nervous too. Jenny says that the stone helps her stay calm and that it would do the same for me. I do not argue. I grab the cold green stone and clench my fist.
After some time, I forgot about the feeling in my stomach. The women next to us begins to make conversation. She asks about me and my condition. Jenny explains that I have dementia and that I am visiting my family after 23 years of separation. The kind woman begins to cry and tells Jenny that she is a great granddaughter. We learn that the lady is also 70 years-old, and I cannot stop the salty tear from running down my face.
At 70 I wish that I looked and felt like the kind lady. She can recognize her children, she can chase after her grandchildren, she can communicate well, she can make her own decisions, and I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.
“Was it a cup of coffee? An apple?”, I thought, “Oh no. I remember it now. I had oatmeal because it is easy enough to eat with these useless dentures.”
The kind lady apologizes for upsetting me, but I just wave her off. I knew that she meant no harm.  She is a sweet woman. Anyone would be lucky to know her. I wonder if anyone feels the same about me.
A few hours pass and we arrive at LAX. My family is waiting at the baggage claim with elated looks on their faces. I want to say that I am happy to see them but instead I cross my arms in disapproval. My family is too excited to care, and they throw their arms around me.
We arrive at a tall apartment building much different from my own home. The roads back home are cobbled, homes are only one level, and the only people I share an address with are family. Here things are much different. Here no one wears shoes around the house, here no one worries about leaving the water running, here no one seems familiar.
I miss home. Everything about this place is strange. Everyone is so sad and confused. I don’t seem out of place anymore because everyone is a little lost. There is all this talk about equality, and I think it is a good thing but very little has changed since we got here. I hope that a change can be made soon because I then I might like it here. They say Johnson has some big shoes to fill and I can see why, he is a very tall man.
Every day is a little easier for everyone and I feel at peace. I am getting the care I need and in return I offer my family a distraction from politics. I am reintroduced to my family every day. Every morning starts off with them saying, “Good morning Mama Dora, do you remember my name?”. I mean to say yes, but I always shake my head no. They sound like a broken record, but I know they are trying their best. I wish I could tell them how grateful I am for all of the sacrifices they are making.
A few weeks go by and strangers don’t seem so bad anymore. Some are vicious but others are lovely. The mailman comes to visit almost every day and sometimes he brings some bad news with him. They call it “bills”, but every day he brings me a smile and that is the kindest thing a stranger can give me. I am not sure when I will return to my home, but I feel safe here. I think it is ridiculous to have ever felt fear about such a quiet place. I may not have control of where I will end up, but I am happy to be in a place wear I am loved. I am happy to know that others feel lucky to know me.
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meg91596 · 4 years
Conversation
Were the Lincolns Chapter 3 Figuring out what to do
Having a child that is sick isn’t what I planned for when Scout was born. Honestly I never thought that I could even want to have another after Scout but then Annabel came into our lives. After Annabel was born we were a happy family I married Link and we had the two kids, but then Michael, and Jacob came along. I love those boys and thought that our family was complete with the 4 kids considering I had already technically had 5 kids one that didn’t live past birth. I think about Chris every day and wish that he was here to see his younger siblings but he is protecting them in another dimension. Link and I were a happy family then Elizabeth came into our lives. We love our 1 year old little girl, but we thought she was going to be our last child then Elsa Grace came into our lives. Now that we have 6 kids it’s a journey that Link and I love every moment of even trying to adjust to our big family.
It has been nearly 4 hours since we got a diagnosis for our little Annabel Josephine Shepherd Lincoln. Our poor girl has a rare intestinal disease. Hopefully with the assistance of the doctor in Boston or even seeing Alex could help her. Link and I do feel helpless for our little girl though. We sent our other children to be with Meredith, Winston, and Maggie while we focus on our little girl, infant daughter, and oldest child. It’s hard to be separated from our 3 other children but we needed to do whatever we could so that we could be there for our children. Hopefully today we may be able to get ahold of the doctor in Boston or even Alex. Scout has lost his temperature but he still can’t go to school because he has the Chicken Pox or we think it is because he did get a shot for Chicken Pox like all of our children well except for Elsa. Hayes is doing tests to find out what is going on with Scout but I think it’s the new laundry soap that is causing this.
“Amelia, Elsa is crying I think she is hungry.” Link said handing over the baby. “Okay I’ll give her some food. Hey have you heard anything from Dr. Frankford on anything for Annabel?” I asked. “No apparently Alex is on route to see Anna though so maybe that helps, oh and Cooper, Charlotte, Georgia, Caroline, and Rachel are here.” Link said. “No Mason?” I asked. “No just the girls this time let’s not forget he is 10 years older than his sisters and they are the same age as Bailey.” Link said. “Wow 23 already man where did the time go?” I asked. “Oh honey you know where it went between working, and having 6 children.” Link said. “Amelia how are you?” asked Charlotte. “Oh I’m good tired I have Scout and Annabel here for testing.” I replied. “Maggie and Winston have another baby?” Charlotte asked. “No this is Elsa Grace Shepherd Lincoln.” I said. “Wow so you actually have 7 now?” Charlotte said. “Yes we have a brood of kids.” I said.
She held Elsa and fell in love with her. Since she had the triplets she has never wanted to imagine her life without them. They brought love into her life that she didn’t think was even possible. We went for coffee at the hospital and talked about things. It surprised me that Addison, Jake, Henry, and William were on their way to see as well as Violet, and Lucas. They normally come to visit around the time of Christopher’s birthday not around Scout’s birthday considering Scout was born 2 weeks before his older brother would have been 8 years old. It’s hard to think about that but it’s true. This time they are coming because they feel that I need the support with everything going on with Annabel. Link also called his parents, and my mother so that they could spend time with our other children while we focus on our daughter. We sound like awful parents trying to spend what time we need with Annabel.
“Well Dr. Shepherd, and Dr. Lincoln Scout Adam Shepherd Lincoln is fine he just has an allergic reaction to something. Has he eaten anything new, or has something in the house changed.” Dr. Hayes said. “Cormac was his throat raw when you tested him?” Link asked. “Yes it was do you have a clue as to what it was?” Cormac asked. “Yes he had pineapple, and he also had honey in his ice cream sundaes we all had could he be allergic to something like Honey?” I replied. “It is very likely that he is allergic to something so we are going to do an allergy test to find out what he is allergic to.” Cormac said. “Okay will he be okay?” Link and I asked. “Yes he will now he may have some reactions to the tests but don’t worry it’s procedural.” Cormac said. “Mommy how is Anna I’m fine I’ll be all better soon I’m just really itchy.” Scout said. “Anna is doing okay honey are you scared for your sister?” Link and I asked. “Yes I don’t want her to go to be with Uncle Derek, and our big brother Christopher.” Scout said crying. “Amelia I got it this go comfort with Charlotte, and little Elsa or check on Anna.” Link said. “Okay honey but I’m going to see Annabel to see how she is doing.” Amelia said.
I Walked into my sweet daughters room where she was excited to see me rather than having doctor after doctor coming into her room. She wanted to see little Elsa and her brothers, and Eliza. She knew that Scout was in the hospital but wanted she wanted her dolls, and favorite blanket. I went home with Elsa and came back with some of Anna’s dolls, and her favorite blanket in hopes of making her day. It was a tiring day until Alex Karev came and took a look at Anna’s chart to suggest we still talk with the other doctor for an idea but he thought giving her some medication would help with her pain in her stomach.
“Thank you Alex for coming hey how is Alexis and Eli doing?” I asked. “There doing well but can I talk to you about Anna’s medical needs.” Alex asked. “Okay what are we going to do?” I asked. “Well with her disease it is suggestable to give Anna a gluten free diet but if she can’t keep it down then I would stick with the tubal feeding that she is currently on.” Alex said. “Okay we will keep up with the tubal feeding because I have read about her disorder and I don’t think she will be able to keep her down.” I said. “Momma am I going to get better soon because I want to go home and go back to school.” Annabel said. “I hope so baby. Daddy and I really want you to get better and that’s why we are going to see another doctor.” I said. “Mommy why is my form of celiac disease bad.” Annabel asked. “Celiac Disease? What don’t you have some intestine disorder?” Scout asked. “I don’t know. Mommy and Daddy don’t I have Celiac Disease and an intestine disorder?” asked Annabel. “Yes honey you have both but we are going to see what we can do.” Link and I said. “Momma we missed you.” Jacob, and Michael said. “Boys you’re here where is Auntie Meredith or Auntie Maggie?” I asked. “Sorry I meant to call but Maddie Pierce fell down in daycare and I need to be here.” Maggie said.
I know Maggie needed to be with her daughter but it was good to have my boys and little girl here to be with the family. I always enjoy my children when they are around as they fill my life with joy when I thought I was broken especially after Christopher died. Scout, and Link saved my dying soul but I still blame my tumor for everything. But my six children and my husband are my life as are my friends I hope Link and I can help our daughter to make her comfortable until we can go to Boston to help her.
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batglinda-blog · 4 years
Text
They didn't all have to die -- a moment of reflection as US Covid deaths reach 100,000
(CNN)The first tragedy of America's bleak coronavirus milestone is that 100,000 people didn't have to die. The second is that no one knows how many more will perish before the pandemic fades.
The desperate toll passed into six figures on Wednesday afternoon: 100,000 victims, who were living Americans several months ago, when the viciously infectious virus made landfall. The landmark is a story of lost mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings, spouses and even children. Families are shattered, and the dying expire alone. They can't even be mourned owing to social distancing — one of Covid-19's cruelest impositions.The 100,000 include Americans like 44-year-old Martin Addison, of New Jersey, the type of dad who'd do Donald Duck impressions to delight his infant son. Geraldine Slaughter of Detroit, who was in her eighties, died from Covid-19 within days of her two sisters.
The virus has been disproportionately infecting communities of color. Black Americans represent 13.4% of the American population, according to the US Census Bureau, but counties with higher black populations accounted for more than half of all Covid-19 cases and almost 60% of deaths as of mid-April,
a study
by epidemiologists and clinicians found. The virus has also exploited monetary divides, as
infections at meat-packing plants show
, while many white-collar workers work from home.The victims also include the living — the more than
30 million Americans
whose livelihoods disappeared in the most dramatic collapse in American economic history. A generation born amid the fear of 9/11 just graduated high school during another national trauma. Families near and far haven't gathered for months — and may not for months to come.
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But a pandemic -- a signature moment alongside civil war, world wars, assassinations and economic crises, in the near 250-year history of the US -- is also a political, governmental story. Politicians, few so vociferously as President Donald Trump, want the credit when things go well. So must they carry the can when they fail.Covid-19's assault is a once-in-a-century event, and no set of detailed plans, war games and batch of epidemiological theories could have prepared the nation for every unknown challenge.Yet it's also true that the US has been plagued by one of the most mismanaged, and certainly one of the most politically divisive, coronavirus mitigation efforts in the world.In years to come, in inevitable congressional commissions and medical research, there will be plenty of blame to be shared.Supply chains outsourced to China, Beijing's own response to an emerging public health disaster, the World Health Organization's missteps and loopholes created by a US federal system that often sparks power struggles in disasters will be criticized. The way state governors were slow to recognize the threat in nursing homes could turn out to be one of the most egregious mistakes.But despite his crisis-defining
comment
back in March -- "I don't take responsibility at all" -- much of the blame must fall inevitably on Trump. He didn't address the grim milestone until Thursday morning -- and after tweeting or retweeting two dozen other messages ranging from stoking a culture debate over wearing masks to criticizing the Democratic governor of Michigan -- when he called it "sad" and extended his "heartfelt sympathy & love for everything that these great people stood for & represent."Such moments of national peril are exactly what presidents are for. There is a reason the buck stops on the commander in chief's desk — that's the place where the problems that no one else can solve land.Trump's 2016 convention vow — "I alone can fix it" -- and his entire leadership model of fomenting divisions, inventing his own facts and distracting from his failings by sparking new scandals has been irredeemably exposed. The steadily rising fatality toll brings its own awful judgments — that no number of attacks on the previous administration or raging tweets can disguise.'We have it totally under control'Experts said that the death toll could have been lower had the government and the health system been ready."It didn't have to happen if we had been prepared," William Haseltine, president of the think tank ACCESS Health International, said on CNN's "AC360" on Wednesday."It was totally predictable that another coronavirus was on its way," Haseltine said. "The mechanism exists, the stockpile, the drugs," he continued, adding, "There was a hole in our safety net."Dr. William Schaffner, a professor in the Infectious Diseases Division at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center, said the US needs to continue "socially disturbing" routines for some time to prevent many more deaths."I'm in deep mourning as a person. I'm in deep mourning as a clinician, and also as a person who works in public health," Schaffner said on CNN's "Erin Burnett OutFront." "Many of these deaths could have been prevented, but going forward, we want to prevent many, many more deaths, right?"The verdict on Trump's failure to stand up a rapid and nationwide coronavirus testing effort and his frequent and premature declarations of victory would not be so harsh had he taken the obvious approach of a pandemic more seriously.China locked down Wuhan and Hubei province on January 23. Hong Kong, which turned into a model of how to flatten the curve, recorded its first case at the same time. The White House has disputed when and if Trump was warned by US intelligence agencies about the coming storm. But it was all over the news — and given the interconnected nature of the globalized world it was obvious that it would soon arrive in the US.More alarm bells rang on March 8 when Italy clamped a lockdown on its Lombardy region amid a massive spike in infections.Yet Trump spent the time between late January and announcing a "15 days to slow the spread" initiative in mid-March in denial, floating misinformation about the virus and creating an alternative reality in which it might "miraculously" disappear."We have it totally under control," the President
said
on January 22. "We pretty much shut it down coming from China," he said on February 2. But concern was already rising in the US public health community about what came to be seen as the almost certain spread of the virus to the US and whether the country was prepared for its onslaught on hospitals.On February 25, Nancy Messonnier, the head of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, infuriated the White House by warning that disruptions to daily life in the US could be "severe."She told schools to start thinking about closures and businesses to prepare for telecommuting in a prediction that turned out to be an entirely accurate summation of America's destiny.The preferred White House narrative was delivered the same day by economic czar Larry Kudlow — not for the first time in the weeks to come that an unqualified political appointee would pronounce on medical matters. "We have contained this. I won't say it's air tight, but it's pretty close to air tight," Kudlow
said
."We have had tremendous success, tremendous success, beyond what people would have thought," Trump said the next day before launching into one of his frequent tributes to China's President Xi Jinping, weeks before turning on China when he needed a scapegoat for his own government's under performance.Weeks of denial worsened the tollIn years to come, Trump's denial in the early weeks will likely come to be seen as one of the most damaging passages of the crisis. It contributed to the disastrous deficit the US later experienced in developing a testing infrastructure — already hobbled by a failed CDC diagnostic kit — and the shortages of protective gear for emergency responders and doctors and nurses.The megaphone given to a President is one of the most effective methods of girding a nation into action. When it is silent, that causes its own issues, as the lack of urgency shown by many states in preparing for the onslaught shows.A Columbia University study released last week found that had the US started social distancing a week earlier, it could have prevented the loss of at least 36,000 lives.In the New York metro area alone, 17,500 fewer people would have died if the US had acted one week earlier, Columbia epidemiologist Jeffrey Shaman said.New York's leaders put the blame on the Trump administration's failure to build a robust testing system that would have shown how deeply the virus had penetrated the community.The first months of the pandemic's deadly path across America were dominated by fierce political arguments over deficiencies in testing needed to assess the virus' hold on the country.In recent weeks, with most hotspots concentrated in big, more liberal cities and urban areas, a bitter debate has unfolded about the pace of opening the shuttered economy.Trump says that the US has "prevailed" in the pandemic and has frequently boasted that the United States now leads the world in testing — a claim not supported by the crucial, per capita metric. According to the latest data from the Covid Tracking Project, the US has now conducted 15 million tests during the pandemic. Data collected by Oxford University shows that the after a slow start, US testing is catching up. The US has now carried out 45 tests per 1,000 people, ahead of countries like Canada and the UK, but trailing states like Australia, Italy and New Zealand, which has been widely praised for its handling of the crisis.While Trump would like to boast the world's best Covid response, the data doesn't bear out his claims. The US has a rate of 30 deaths per 100,000 in the population, significantly lower than hard-hit nations like Britain, France and Italy. But the US is worse off than Germany with 10 deaths per 100,000 in the population and South Korea with 0.52 deaths per 100,000, according to figures prepared by Johns Hopkins University. There is currently a mixed picture of the pandemic in the US suggesting a pivot point could be near. Currently, infections are rising in 14 states, are steady in 17 and falling in 19 states.What's to come
The Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, or IHME, at the University of Washington has now shifted its prediction for US deaths down to 132,000 by August, amid signs that widespread wearing of masks is helping reduce infections. That figure doesn't take into account a feared spike in the virus in the fall.Still, the wearing of masks has become a fierce political controversy with
Trump refusing to wear one in public
as some conservative supporters portray such precautions as an infringement on basic freedoms. Trump's presumptive 2020 opponent Joe Biden on Tuesday
called him a "fool"
for taking such a position.
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drferox · 5 years
Text
Genetic tests for Addison’s
@doctorrichardstrand said to @ask-drferox: I am looking to get a standard poodle in the next year or two, and as I've been researching breeders I've noticed many of them test for a wide range of health issues, but not for Addison's. Is it something that can't be tested for easily? Is it not a concern that it can be passed down from parents to pups?
Ah, I know this one! Addison’s disease is low-key my favourite endocrinopathy and I looked into this a long time ago while arguing with a labradoodle puppy farm.
In short, the condition is a lack of corticosteroids being produced by the body. So in an individual dog you can measure their cortisone levels and things that are affected by cortisone, such as sodium and potassium ratios. Cortisone will go up in a sick or stressed dog, but it does not do that in an Addisonian dog. It can’t.
So you can screen an individual dog as to whether they have it now, but this is useless for breeding programs.
Firstly, because gonads (testicles and ovaries) also produce some steroid hormones so their presence will mask the existence of Addison’s disease and they wont get diagnosed with it until much, much later in life.
Secondly, the definitive test is currently an ACTH stimulation test. You measure cortisone, give synthetic ACTH, and measure the cortisone again to see what response you get.
Problem is that synthetic ACTH medication is ridiculously expensive, I mean a single dose is over $100 wholesale, and it’s frequently out of production. Supply is very inconsistent with only one company making it, and no direct alternatives. So testing lots of dogs on a regular basis is not really practical, may not be reliable, and just generally not done.
There was a genetic test in very early development around 2010, I think from UC Davis if I remember correctly? They were seeking lots of samples from labradors and poodles at the time to develop a genetic test for Addisons, but I don’t know if they got anywhere with that research.
The reason they might have hit a hitch there is that we don’t know what exactly sets Addisons off.
But, we do think it’s an auto-immune attack from the body towards perfectly normal cell types, and this is supported by histopath results and Addison’s disease occurring with other conditions which are thought to have the same underlying cause, namely type 1 diabetes and hypothroidism.
And the whole ‘running in families’ thing is a little weak if you look at just Addison’s on its own, but if you add Hypothyroidism and Diabetes to that tree, it is more convincing that there’s a predisposition to all three conditions which can be inherited.
So such a genetic test for Addison’s, if it reaches development, might not be specific for Addison’s, but an increased risk of developing one or more of these conditions.
So unless there’s a very new test on the market, that’s why breeders aren’t currently testing for Addison’s Disease. Their breeding dogs will have no symptoms anyway and the genetics gets kind of complicated.
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wickedapollo · 5 years
Text
Addison Thompson and the Lightning Theif
Greek Gods and Vampires, Oh My! 1/?
Honestly, If I had the choice between a room with Nancy Bobofit, and this. I would chose that Freckly tea-bag anyday. It's not that Fied trips were bad, no not at all, I just would have much rather have only the one shaperone than two.
But my vote didn't matter, at least not to anyone else. Mosy Yancy Fieldtrips, ask any other student, were torture. I mean, if they wanted us to participate in any actual activities, they should take us somewhere fun. Not a Metropolitan Musuem for Art. Who finds dead things fascinating like that anyways?
The bus jostled over a curb and I was thrown into the back of the seat in front of me. My face plastered to the unclean leather, making my face hot, almost to the burning point. My body was sliding, towards the incredibly disgustingly unclean floor. I panicked, grabbing the back of my seat and trying to heave myself back into the seat.
That failed. I wound up on the floor anyway and now had to get back into my seat discretely without being yelled at. A pretty feesable task if Mrs. Dodds didn't have a sonar radar for every little thing I do. I did my best, pretending I had been laying down and got uncomfortable. She didn't yell though, which I was glad for.
In the seat next to me, which sat my two very Best Friends, sat Percy Jackson and Grover Underwood. Percy was fairly small for our age, but I could bet he'd be tall when we were older, he had a wild head of dark hair, which was always disheveled no matter how you looked at it, and Sea Green eyes that were filled with mischief. Grover didn't seem to get so lucky, his hair was an almost carmel-y color and a curly mess, his eyes were a soulful brown that reminded me of a puppy, his skin was dotted with freckles. Poor boy had an odd Muscular Disease in his legs.
I looked over just in time to watch a red and brownish colored sandwich chunk flop onto the top of grover's head. He tried to shake it out, but it simply made it worse. I frowned, glaring back behind him to see who'd thrown it.
Nancy Bobofit was winding up to throw another junk of Ketchup-Peanut butter sandwich at him. I clenched my teeth, if Mrs. Dodds and Mr. Brunner wouldn't have yelled at me, I gladly would have thrown one of Grover's crutches at her. I think Percy had the same idea, but it didn't really occur to me until she'd lobbed the piece at Grover and he dodged it while trying to calm Percy down.
"That's it." The boy had grumbled, starting to stand before Grover pushed him back into the seat. His head thudded against the seat and he gave Grover a look.
"You're on probation." Grkver hastily reminded him. I shifted in my seat, the idea of Percy actually being expelled mind boggled me. Yes he was troubled, that's what Yancy Academy was for, troubled kids. But Percy had this weird little way of making Grover and I calm that made me wonder why he wasn't friends with everyone. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."
"Unless she did something unsavory." I grunted, moving my legs into the isle to face the two. Both boys looked at me like I'd grown two heads.
"I don't sven know what that means." Percy grumbled, turning to look out the window at the dreary, boring New York Landscape. I frowned at him, then I had to remind myself we were in different English Classes.
"It means shady, Percy." Grover grumbled. I perked up as Percy whipped back around to face me. He looked very intriguded by my idea, which honestly wasn't a very good one.
"Miss Thompson, Feet out of the Isle please!" Mr. Brunner called from his seat in the back. I turned immediately and seated myself against the the window. No one sat by me, honestly ptobably because I had no female friends.
...
The high pitched whir of Mr. Brunner's wheelchair as our group walked through the museum was beginning to get on my nerves faster than I wanted it too. The museum was probably a great sight to see if there weren't like thirty of us, but all in all, all of this stuff looked great. I'm not entirely sure why ancient things appeal to me, I mean, sure. It's history and every moment we breath is history in the making, but the idea that something has lasted for so long? Enchanting.
We had gathered around an about thirteen feet tall statue, a stele. I was half listening, mainly because Nancy and her gang were too busy laughing at something. But the chips and scars in the collumn made me sad, a young girl about our age? Young people's funerals made me sad, the idea that they died so young without being able to finish their lives? Utterly a fearful and painful reality some people had to face.
I wasn't paying attention to anything, not really. I was mainly contemplating that poor girl's death, why would someone want to kill a young kid? It made no sense to me at all. I doubt I could hurt a fly without breaking into tears.
There was giggling off to my left and Percy turned to glare at them, trying to focus on Mr. Brunner's speeking. I shifted and stared straight ahead as the giggling just reached an octive higher.
"Will you shut up?" Percy hissed, probably much louder than he intended, because everyone was snickering as Mr. Brunner stopped and stared at us. I felt like one of those frogs in science class, carefully being disected and looked over.
"Mr. Jackson," the teacher sighed and looked over the rest of us. I shifted i place picking at my cuticles and trying to look anywhere but at him. "Did you have a comment?"
Percy's face was redder than a tomato. I guess I expected that though, Percy had a knack for doing things like this. "No, sir."
Mr. Brunner wasn't frowning at us anymore, which I was glad for, but when I turned to look away Mrs. Dodds was there, practically breathing down our necks. I did well in School, I was never late, the lowest Grade I'd ever gotten was a D+, and even then it was because I wasn't there for the lesson. I was started when Mr. Brunner held up a pen and pointed to a picture on the stele.
"Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" I recognized it easy, I mean. Sure, I enjoyed school, to a degree, but Mr. Brunner's class would always be my favorite. I had an A+ in there, and I was not about to loose it because Percy couldn't remember the name of a Titan and his children.
"That's Kronos eating his kids, right?" Percy sounded unsure, and I wanted to thwop him upside the head with something. I understood that I had a very, very wonderful memory. Which is probably why Grover and Percy would practically beg me to study with them before exams. But Percy was probably the most thick skulled kid I had ever met.
"Yes," Mr. Brunner nodded, but his voice sounded strained. Almost like if you were annoyed and trying very hard not to show it. "And he did this because...?"
"Well..." Percy shifted his weight nervously, and he focusing above Mr. Brunner's head. I fought the urge to let my hand shoot up, because Percy had been asked a direct question, it would have been rude. "Kronos was the King god and-"
"Titan." I whisper-hissed quietly, and Mrs. Dodds' eyes narrowed at me. I swear, if she turned out to be half snake I might have cried. I didn't understand what I'd done to make her dislike me so much, but I wish I could take it back.
"God?" Mr. Brunner raised an eyebrow at Percy questioningly.
"Titan," he corrected himself, glanced at me almost in thanks, "And... Uh, he didn't trust his kids, who were gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-"
"Eeeew!" One of the girl's behind us made a gagging sound and I wanted to hurl the wad of cash in my pocket for the gift shop at them, but that would be wasteful.
" -and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," he continued sounding strained. He looked a little panicked, but I mean I would be too. "And the gods won."
A lot of the kids around us were laughing like giddy school-girls. I wanted to cower behind Percy right then, because I could feel Mrs. Dodds' eyes on me, almost like she was trying to pry something out of my soul.
"Like we're ever going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on aourjob applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.' " Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, rolling her eyes. I agreed whole heartedly, when was this stuff going to be important? Like, yeah maybe, if our parents decided they didn't like us and tried to eat us, we could just feed them rocks? Highly unlikely.
"And why, Mr. Jackson," Mr. Brunner looked pointedly behind us at Nancy's group and flinched when his eyes trailed over us, "To paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"
"Busted," Grover mumbled, the corner of his lips twitching. I smiled, aiming my face at the floor so Mrs. Dodds wouldn't see me.
"Shut up," Nancy hissed, looking like shd wanted to claw him to pieces. Her face was bright red, maybe even darker than her hair. I was glad Nancy at least got in trouble in Mr. Burnner's class, Mrs. Dodds seemed to think she was an Angel.
Percy looked like he was contemplating, and our little run in just now probably didn't help. He shrugged one shoulder, and then the other. Then both at once went up and he sighed defeatedly. "I don't know, sir."
"I see, Miss Thompson," I flinched and looked up apologetically. I didn't think I'd done anything wrong, "Do you have an answer?"
"I-I uh..." I swallowed, what was I supposed to say? 'Yeah, if our parents eat us'? "I-It's not like we are going to use it, sir, not unless our parents decide to eat us."
"Very well, half credit to both of you," he sounded disappointed. Like someone had just cancelled his favorite show, and he'd just heard about it. "Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods had been living and growing up comepletely undigested in the titans stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scuthe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds would you lead us back outside?"
"That sounds like a story for family reunions." I whispered to Grover as we began to walk outside. He smiled slightly, like he did find it funny but he wasn't going to say so.
"Mr. Jackson, Miss Thompson." I flinched, and turned to look back at Mr. Brunner sheepishly. I felt like sinking into the floor and hiding, I didn't feel like being yelled at, or weeded out from the group.
"Sir?" Percy asked, I didn't mean to but I stepped closer to him, half hiding behind him and half peeking around like a terrified animal. Grover continued, looking back almost sadly.
"You must learn the answer to my question," he told us, looking both of us over carefully. I shifted and Percy looked a little confused.
"About the Titans?" I asked curiously, practically leaning over Percy's shoulder.
"About real life. And how your studies apply to it." I frowned. Yes it was interesting, but who would use this stuff unless you were an Archeologist. Percy let out a small 'oh' in reply.
"What you learn from me," he said, and took us both by the arm, "Is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from both of you."
I will never understand Mr. Brunner. I get teacher, during the summer I live with two, but Mr. Brunner's class was fun and eventful. He used a sword sometimes, those were the best days. It was always great, he and my father would have gotten along well. My father had owned a patch of land on the Missouri-Arkansas border that had once been a Peach Orchard. It'd been in our family for generations. He'd found a bout of oil under the surface, struck it rich, and finished his history degree in colledge and came up here to New York. I hadn't done well in the public schools here, so he sent me to Yancy. He claimed it'd be easier, but I was so homesick sometimes I thought I could just float back to the little farm house we'd had.
"Of course, sir." I managed, nodding as Percy mumbled out his speel. Mr. Brunner nodded and took a look at the stele. The object put a melancholic feeling in my chest, like my Grandma had just died again. He dismisses us and I felt like running out of there.
...
I never liked thunderstorms. Usually they meant that it flooded the cornfields and meant there was no surplus for that month. We'd managed to get back with Grover, and I felt like pelting Nancy Bobofit eith my apple, she shouldn't steal from people. What if they needed those things? At the beginning of the year she'd given me this little silver bracelet, said I could keep it. Turns out she'd stolen it from our P.E teacher and I got blamed. Of course my father and mother had rushed down immediatley and were not happy. No one would listen to me that I hadn't stolen it. Only Percy and Grover listened, I guess that's how we made friends.
I had found myself sitting beside Grover, more like laying really. The mist from the fountain had dotted my clothes and skin, but I really didn't mind.
I was too busy staring at the sky to really notice Nancy walking towards us. Though I don't know how you can miss her, bright red hair and all. She dumped her half-eaten crustable in his lap.
"Oops." She grinned wickedly, if I had the opportunity to wipe that grin off her face and rub dirt in her mouth? I would have. Maybe even shove her face in a cow pie, that would have been good.
I'm not entirely sure what happened next, because there's not really a logical explanation. It looked like the water formed to snakes and grabbed her by the arms and just tugged her in. I let my mouth drop. How on earth does something like that happen?
"Percy pushed me!" Nancy screamed, suddenly a blubbering mess. Mrs. Dodds practically just appeared next to us, I was far too busy staring at where the water was to care about what was actually happening. I must be going crazy right?
Mrs. Dodds made sure Little Nancy was okay, promising to buy her new clothes from the giftshop. My heartbeat was in my ears, Percy hadn't pushed her. But then she turned on Percy.
"Now, Honey-"
"I know," he grumbled glaring at the ground. I frowned, he hadn't even touched her. "A month erasing workbooks."
"Come with me." She growled, waiting for him to stand up so she could practically eat him alive.
"N- Wait! It was me! I pushed her, Mrs. Dodds." I shakily stood, fidgiting with my fingers. Grover looked possibly ready to start with his excuses. Percy's jaw had fallen open.
"Miss Thompson, I don't believe-"
"I did Mrs. Dodds! I pushed her. Let me make up for it please." I pleaded, wringing my hands togwther nevously. Who was I kidding? Mrs. Dodds would eat me alive and then what would I do? Serve detention? Make my dad shake his head at me?
"Miss Thompson, I do not condone lying."
"I pushed her, Mrs. Dodds." I tried again, she narrowed her eyes at me and I tried my hardest not to change my expression.
"You-will-stay-here." I felt figity, I knew somehow she wouldn't listen. Just a little voice in the back of my mind. I dropped back into my seat beside Grover.
Percy gave us a sympathetic look, more of a 'come save me' look honestly. I felt horrible. How was I supposed to do anything if I couldn't even cover for Percy? Even Percy could come up with a better story than that.
I watched as the two of them disappeared into the Museum. Grover put his hand on my shoulder, trying to be comforting. It kind of was, but when I looked up at him, he wasn't looking at me. His nostrils were flared up angrily, like he smelled something disgusting.
"Not again." He whispered and was out of his seat in seconds, practically running towards Mr. Brunner. I was so caught up in Grover looking frantic that I didn't notice Nancy.
She slammed her hand against the surface of the water, and droplets flew at me. They were cold, freezing in fact. I flinched and looked over at her.
She was absolutely soaked. Her clothes were tightly stuck and she was shivering. I felt kind of bad for her, shivering like that. I was twmpted to gove her my jacket, but it was the only one she hadn't stolen. I also knew if I did I wouldn't get it back.
I looked back and noticed Grover was walking back over. Or at least, to the beat of his ability. He sat between us, and Nancy got up to move. I shivered slightly, hunching over.
A wave of warmth flooded over our little group. Things started shimmering, and I was getting a headache. I shook my head, trying to clear it. There was a split second where everything spun and I felt like my memories were being rewritten. I stuck my hand into the fountain and splashed my face.
"I hope Mrs. Kerr doesn't mess him up too bad." Grover sighed, looking towards the door of the Museum. Wait... What?
"Grover... Who's Mrs. Kerr?" I asked, turning to face him. His mouth opened but he hesitated, looking at me funny. Like he'd come to a realization, like he found out we had a paper due tomorrow, and one that took awhile.
"Addy, Mrs. Kerr, our Pre-Algebra teacher?" He looked slightly startled. Like I'd sprouted a second head. I raised an eyebrow at him, like he was crazy. Which he was, we didn't have a teacher named Mrs. Kerr.
"Grover, our Pre-Algebra teacher was Mrs. Dodds." I wrapped a strand of my dark hair around my finger, frowning at the crimping of the curls.
"No..? We never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds." He tried to convince me. He really was trying. But Grover was a terrible liar, he hesjtated before he said anything about it and he was looking at me strangely.
We were too busy arguing to notice Percy coming out of the Museum. It was beginning to rain, so most of us gathered around Mr. Brunner's umbrella.
"Addy, there's never even been a Mrs. Dodds. I don't even think there's one in New York."
I am so doneeeee my writing just keeps getting worseeeeeee.
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avidfanficwriter · 5 years
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The Other Sister (Chapter 1)
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Characters: Steve Rogers(AU!) x OFC.
Summary: After five years of marriage, Steve Rogers finds himself questioning everything that his wife, Annabel has ever told him thanks to the impromptu visit by her troubled younger sister: Addison; whose existence he’s just learned about fives years prior. His only question now is: who verison is the truth? His loving wife? Or the troubled sister? 
Ratings: M.
Warnings: Mentions/indications of depression, mentions of sexual abuse, indication of mental abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse. (Warnings will be updated as chapters come)
Authors Note: It’s not gonna be pretty. I’m sorry for the you know, skipping out on everyone and neglecting my blog. I’m better than that, you know that. I know that but I’m trying. Believe in me. :)
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. 
There's a scene in dramatic movies that always seem to be shot in the same way, a simple setting, two people, one is nervous while the other is calm.  The person who is lucky enough to be calm eventually notices the odd behaviors from the other and questions it. They're given a jaw-droppingly shocking statement. The kind that makes them choke on their drink or forget how to breathe. At first, they don't know how to react. It's a pot full of emotions, anger, sadness, annoyance or worst-case scenario disgust. They question how they are going to get over it or understand it.
That moment of being unclear how to continue is how Steve felt right now, only instead of just a flurry of emotions, there's a nauseous feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach.
"-ay for a while." He doesn't have the faintest idea what his wife is saying now, after the first few words she spoke, he's blacked out the rest. It takes a few moments to gather himself, followed by another to convince himself he won't vomit. "One more time..." he asks.
His wife, Annabel Shaw-Rogers cocks her head at her husband. "I said Addison needs a place to stay for a while." He nods. "I told her no but she was insistent on it, something about doctors orders. She's probably just got out of rehab again. Once a junkie always a junkie." She trails off in annoyance.
All Steve can do is nod in response, he's chewing on his bottom lip trying to not scream. "The sister who was in and out of jail the last few years?"
"Uh-huh."
Another nod. "The sister who pops drugs like they're candy?"
"Uh-huh."
He clears his throat and rests his hands on the counter, staring at the wall ahead of him. "The one you don't hear from unless she needs something?"
Annabel chuckles and walks towards her husband of five years, she reaches out to him, wrapping her tanned arms around his waist. "Baby, I only have one sister. All of the horror stories you are about to ask are indeed about her." She takes a moment to rub a calming hand down his chest. "She's going to have to stay here if not, she'll never let that be the end of it." The sentence is ended with a loving kiss on his cheek and she leans into his body, trying to use her affection as an apology for the cards they have been dealt. For Steve, it'll take far more than a simple kiss and hug to rid the horrid taste in his mouth. She'll invade their privacy, ruin their home, invade the wholesome environment they have. Her drug-diseased handcuff ridden hands would be all over his home, infecting it. The air would be toxic, everything would have to be replaced, their home would need to be replaced.
A new home, new furniture, new clothes. He'd be out of money by this time next year.
If that wasn't bad enough, Addison Shaw was trouble with a capital T. The woman had trouble etched in her bones, her blood was filled with negativity. The only way to explain young Addison was everything bad that one person can do, Addison had done and then some. The two sisters were miles apart, Annabel was beautiful, sweet and brilliant while Addison was problematic, untrustworthy and downright awful.
They were cut from two different strands, good and bad. To Steve, part of it would have made sense if one of them was bad if their daddy had a criminal history or even mommy but both parents were normal, average. Met in college, fell madly in love. Their mother was a stay at home mom, dad was a banker. They stayed out of trouble, minded their business, went to church on Sundays and said their prayers before bed. They were loving parents to beautiful girls, Annabel, their oldest, his wife. A dirty blonde haired girl who had dreams of being a singer. Their youngest, Addison was a brunette with-how he remembers hearing their mother describe as-big beautiful hazel eyes with the tiniest hints of green. There were no hopes or dreams used to describe her, no happy or cute memories that followed after any mention of her. It was always just Addison and then silence.
The idea of Addison... staying there in his home, ruining the atmosphere. Forcing he and Annabel to live on edge to accommodate her. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. However, this was his wife, the love of his life. He couldn't say no if she had already said yes. She had to be dealing with far more issues than his own, this couldn't have been easy on her.
"How long?" He finally asks with a deep sigh.
It takes her a while to answer which scares him, "A few weeks." That's an arrow straight in his heart. He's already envisioning his gravestone, 'Steven Grant Rogers. Died from: sudden cardiac arrest brought on by wife's junkie sister.'
"Fine..." He says with another sigh. "But she doesn't stay in the house."
"Where are we going to put her, baby? The doghouse?"
Steve smiles. "If we had a doghouse, that wouldn't be nice enough for her."
Annabel agrees, pulling her arms from Steve. "Where then?"
"The guest house."
"It's not finished with the remodel."
"The kitchen is the only part left, the room, living room, and bathroom are done. She can survive with half a kitchen." He remarks.
"Just means she'll have to be here when she wants to eat."
Steve wanted to strangle her, probably the only time on this earth that he had the urge to do so. A day he could handle, maybe two but an unspecified amount of weeks was hell on earth. Hell, literary, as if they had taken a one-way ticket to the bottom of Satan's ass. "I'll get the contractor to finish the kitchen within the week, pay him double if I have too."
The contractor comes as planned and is less than happy about the sudden change, "In a week? My guys are gonna be workin' double time."
"I know, I get it. I'll pay you double-triple what you were getting. I just need this done by Monday." With a heavy sigh, the contractor agreed, apologizing ahead of time for the noise they would soon be faced with.
They had noise and he was having nightmares, a horrible combination. Steve was on the brink of losing his sanity and the worst had yet to come. The impending doom of Addison's arrival was rapidly approaching. Each time he closed his eyes, it was followed by a possible outcome of Addison living with them. In one, she burnt down the house another threw a rager when they went out to dinner and the worst was her overdosing in their kitchen. Her arrival was eating him up.
"Addison is aware we are gonna have rules?" Steve asks over dinner one night, over the sound power tools echoing through the home.
"I'm sure." Annabel nods, chewing her food and staring at her cell phone.
"Are we going to have to hide all the medicine?"
Annabel drags her eyes from her facebook feed to stare at Steve blankly. "I hadn't thought about that." She clears her throat. "Probably. She'll probably wind up overdosing on cold medicine." The tone of her voice is full of malice and humor.
It was crude place in time now that Steve found himself chuckling at the statement, instead of being overtaken with disgust. He always saw the best in people, believed that everyone deserves a second (Or more) chance. He extended olive branches, forgave the unforgivable, he was the embodiment of a good guy but times had changed. "You're okay with this, right?" Annabel asks in a small voice.
"Of course." He lies.
"Steve, are you really?"
He exhales deeply, "Baby, she's your sister."
"Only by blood." She remarks. "Trust me, If you could change your genetics, I would be first in line." There's not a hint of humor in her voice, she truly would. As depressing as it sounded, Annabel was ashamed to admit she had a sister almost as much as her parents were to say they had two daughters. He remembers taking Annabel on their first date, they talked about their families, there was never a hint that she had a sister. Annabel had spun a web that led him to believe she was an only child.  
In fact, Annabel never spoke about her, nor did her parents; it was like she never existed. It wasn't until their wedding that Addison dropped the bombshell of having a sister that left Steve speechless. It was nearly the end of their romance. "You have a sister and you just what? Forget to tell me about her?" He shouted in anger, slamming the front door behind him as he stomped into their new house. "We've been together for three years! Are those even your actual parents or are you waiting to introduce me to the real ones in another three years?"
Annabel turned to face him, sighing and running a hand through her hair. "Steve, calm down." She pleads.
"Don't tell me to calm down, you've been lying to me for three years."
"I wasn't lying, I just didn't tell you about her."
He groans, "That's the same damn thing." He heads to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge and quickly gulping it down. The only way he can think to calm his nerves is drinking alcohol also another way to keep his mouth busy instead of shouting.
"Listen, Steve..." He ignores the next thing out of her mouth, pleas spill from her red-tinted lips about their upcoming wedding, 'it's only a month away', 'we can't call it off now! What am I going to tell my parents?'. Excuse after excuse yet she avoids the topic at hand. Her sister, a sister that she never once spoke about. That her parents never spoke about. Their family album had no pictures of another child, the pictures littered through their home was void of this mystery sister.
"Why?" He asks, refusing to divulge into talk about their wedding, one mention of it and that would be all she'd focus on. He feels betrayed and used. He starts to question everything she's ever told him, even questions the validity of their relationship. "H-how.... how does someone lie about having a sibling?"
"It's complicated."
Steve's eyes go wide and he leans in, chuckling. "Complicated?" he questions, setting his beer down on the counter in front of him. "Hey, Steve, I have a sister. Yeah, her name is Mary, she's nineteen; lives in Alabama, don't see her much. How is that complicated?"
Annabel sets her purse down on the counter in front of Steve, sighing heavily. "Okay... I was going to tell you, I planned on telling you but it just... isn't easy." She closes her eyes and swallows deeply, he notices her hands, she's squeezing her fingers. "We don't talk about her."
"We?"
"My parents, me; my family." Annabel lets out a nervous chuckle, realizing for the first time in years, she's confessing what is suppose to be a lifelong secret. "Her name is Addison and she's twenty-seven years old and... I don't know where she's living, I ran into her in Miami on the girls trip a few months back but I don't know where she's at right now, I haven't since she was sixteen."
It's even worse than Steve expected, however, he's not entirely sure what he expected. "What do you mean since she was sixteen? If she's twenty-seven now that means you're only two years apart." Annabel nods, ashamed. "What does that even mean?"
Annabel can hardly stand the look of confusion on her husband's face. There's no stopping now, she had to continue for both of their sakes. "You need to understand she put my parents through hell. She was horrible, a bad kid, beyond bad. She did drugs, threw parties, refused to go to school; refused to come home, drank. Anything she could do, she did. My parents tried, I tried. They sent to her to my uncles to try and help her but she nearly burned his house down." It's as if a weight has lifted off her chest, the lie that she had forced herself to believe is finally free. "She was unfixable. Getting worse as the days went by."
"And you just gave up on her?" Steve questions in an angered tone. "She was a kid!"
"No, we didn't!" She raises her voice, getting insulted by the accusation. "My parents tried like hell but it never worked. She never let it and they couldn't do it anymore, my dad was on the verge of losing his job, mom was having a mental breakdown. One day, my dad had enough he threatened her if she continued, he'd make her leave. She didn't change. The next day, she came home high and he packed her a bag and kicked her out. Called friends and family told them to not let her in."
"How old was she?"
"Sixteen."
"Six-Sixteen? She was sixteen years old?" He questions in shock. "Your father kicked your sixteen-year-old sister out of the house with nowhere to go?" The thought is unimaginable to him, an innocent child out alone in the world, battling the street of California with no one to help her. It made him sick, he could barely look at her.
"It sounds bad, I know."
He nods, chuckling being the only thing he can do that doesn't wind up with them ending their engagement. "I don't think you do."
"I wanted her to come back, I looked for her but I couldn't find her."
It's a lie or a comedy skit, it has to be. It doesn't seem plausible. He's met her parents, her fathers is the sweetest guy in the world, her mother loves with all of her heart. The first time he met her, she demanded a hug and that he comes over every holiday, birthday and Sunday for dinner. The idea that they, everyone's dream parents had kicked a child out of their home. "So, you guys just what? Woke up a few days later and said we only have one daughter. Gee, what a nice day?"
Annabel cocks her head in annoyance, "No, One month of her being gone, turned into three and then it was a year and before we knew it life was so much easier without her around. My parents weren't fighting, I wasn't missing school because of something she did. We didn't have any police around the house, it was just simple. Normal. A happy family." She finally sits down on the bar stool, feeling exhausted. "Eventually we realized anytime we talked about her, my mother got sad and my father was angered. People didn't understand it either when we said what happened and we found it easier to not talk about her. We just pretended she didn't exist."
Steve doesn't understand, he can't even begin to understand. If he had a child, he couldn't imagine turning on them. Casting them out with all dangers in the world that they could succumb to. No matter how horrible they were, he'd never give up on them. He couldn't. It wasn't in his blood. "You never heard from her until a few months ago?"
Annabel nods her head, brushing her hair behind her ear before she begins. Another jog down memory lane that breaks his heart even more.
It was a few years later before her name was spoken again in the Shaw household, they had a phone call in the middle of the night from a detective in Texas, Addy; It softens his heart just for a second when Annabel uses her nickname, it shows she still cares somewhere in there. Addison was found in a cheap, rat and drug infested motel unconscious with signs of sexual assault. It had taken her three days to finally talk to police and another three for her to confess her first name. it was luck or a miracle that they discovered her purse trashed in an alley.
"Do you know how late is it?" Her father, Gregory had shouted into the phone. His voice rough and full of sleep.
"Sir, I apologize for the disruption. This is Detective Amanda White from the Austin Police department, sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news. We've found your daughter, Addison Shaw."
The detective went on to confess the details of the case, Addison refused to talk, claimed it was a misunderstanding. An accident, she fell while getting dressed but all evidence said otherwise. They had found the doer but she refused to press charges and point the finger at him. He shrugged and simply told her, "I only have one daughter." In his mind, Addison had made her bed and whatever path she was on, was her own doing. After that, anything that reminded them of her was gone, pictures, drawings, baby boxes. She was merely a blip in their past. As far as anyone in their lives would know, the Shaw's had one daughter, Annabel.
"My dad didn't care," Annabel says with a look of pain. "my mom nearly died but she would have followed my father to the ends of the earth without second-guessing when he said never mention her, we didn't."
Annabel goes on about running into her baby sister in Miami on her girl trip. Her last trip as an unmarried woman, the last hurrah. It was the hotel she was staying in that she found Addison. Not recognizing her at first, it had been so long since she'd seen her that time had corroded her image.
"Addison?" She questions on a whim to the young girl with brown hair tied in a ponytail and dressed in a hotel uniform. "Addy?" It was her, beyond all belief. Their eyes met and Addison was a deer in headlights. It was an awkward reintroduction, two sisters split by time, coming face to face.
"I'm getting married!" Annabel shouted midway through the conversation, her happiness leaking through. "I want you to be there." The words came out before she had a second to rethink her sentence.
Addison said nothing in response. It was a brief silence and a deep sigh before she answered, in a distant voice with cold eyes. "I hope you have a good wedding."
"No, Addy, I want you there. It's my wedding day and I want my family there, all of my family." Her sister is still silent, staring at her like she's never met her. Which is nearly the truth, they didn't know one another. Other than their names, they were strangers. It had taken some convincing before Addison had responded with, "If time works out, maybe I'll think about coming." Annabel left her phone number with her, asking her one last time before she left "Just come, okay? It'll be fun." She didn't think it would work but this morning when she woke up, there a text message from an unknown phone number that simply read. "When is the wedding again? And where? -Addison." She texted back immediately, eyes still blurred from sleeping and another text arrived a few hours later. "I can come if you still want me too," Annabel responded by sending her the ticket details and saying she couldn't wait to see her again.
"So, she's coming to our wedding?" Steve finally questions, rubbing his eyes and wishing he'd bought more beer.
"Yes."
"And what do your parents think?" He asks.
"I haven't told them and I'm not going to."
"Anna..."
"Steve, it's my day, if I want to invite my sister that is my choice."
"Fine." He agrees, walking around to the counter to engulf her in his arms. The good guy inside of him begins to think it could be the best thing to happen. The family could mend, forget about the past and begin again, Something good could come from their wedding. "This could be a fresh start. A way to move on from the past. A restart." He’s fooling himself with the agreement but his biggest flaw was always wanting to see the best in people, if she wanted her to be there, he would do that for her. For their family. 
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inkdrawndreamer · 5 years
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I've been marathoning "Kill Count" videos (Dead Meat is a great horror channel btw) since last night, and I would like to take an opportunity now to call John Kramer out on his classist bullshit.
Now, for a lot of Kramer's victims, I can understand why he'd choose to trap them because they are actually guilty of some heinous or otherwise extremely shitty thing (like domestic abuse, sexual abuse, etc), but I've noticed that there are an awful lot of trap victims who were guilty of nonviolent crimes or who just...didn't do anything that was obviously bad. I am starting this rant with Adam because he's the first person I can think of to appear in the series who fits this bill, and also because he has my whole heart was wronged six ways to Sunday from the very beginning. Kramer calls him "angry and apathetic, but mostly just pathetic", which is BS already considering how hard he fights to survive throughout the first movie, but we also see enough of how his life is before being trapped to get an idea of how unfair that is.
His only real crime was stalking Lawrence Gordon for Detective Tapp, which, yeah, isn't great, but is no worse than how the average TMZ employee makes their living. Plus, even if he wanted to turn the job down, that kind of work isn't something that pays well, and even for a twenty-something living alone pre-recession, Adam is clearly on the poor side. Even if the guy's a bit of a loner, so what? Doesn't mean that he wants to be, or if he does, he certainly doesn't deserve to die alone in a shitty bathroom because of it. The same can probably be said for Addison from Saw II and Brenda from Saw IV, both prostitutes who appeared to only be guilty of...being prostitutes. Again, even if Kramer wanted to justify punishing them on the basis of them selling their bodies or whatever, most people who turn to sex work don't do it because that was their dream job. It's often a last resort, plus it's only a viable means of income because there are people willing to pay for it. They probably didn't have much else by way of job prospects at the time, and if that's how they had to make money, neither of them deserved to die for it.
The deaths of these characters in particular rub me the wrong way considering how much of a focus there was in Saw VI on punishing those who take advantage of people who are poor, sick, and otherwise disadvantaged. Kramer goes after predatory lenders, plus both William Easton and several members of his insurance company, and in the process, he also shows a simultaneous lack of empathy for the kind of people he is angry at Easton and co. for victimizing. A good example of this would be the vice trap Easton wakes up in at the beginning of the film, which requires both him and his janitor, Hank, who is also stuck there to hold their breath for as long as possible. Hank is a longtime smoker who is automatically put at a disadvantage due to related health problems, which Kramer even acknowledges. Naturally, Hank dies, despite the fact that he was not responsible for the same kinds of crimes that Kramer blamed Easton and the rest of his company for committing. Even if Hank's guilt is rationalized as being because he worked for a shady insurance company, that's still on the lower end of the pay scale as far as jobs go, and it's the kind with long hours and intensive work. If his being a smoker was Kramer's big issue, that still doesn't take into account that tobacco companies often target minorities and people of lower income for much of their consumer base. Plus, diseases like COPD that can be related to smoking are often considered pre-existing conditions and are used to deny insurance coverage to people all the time. For being so pissed about getting denied insurance help during his cancer treatments, Kramer didn't seem very empathetic toward the guy who has probably been similarly screwed over and in no way had any influence over anyone's insurance getting denied like Easton did.
The final straw of this particular side of Kramer's assholery is that he was most likely pretty damn wealthy. Flashbacks revealed that he was a civil engineer, and as of 2004 (when the first movie came out), civil engineers in the U.S. made an average of over $77,000 a year. He had enough money that he could invest in multiple rental properties and build himself a murder workshop. He was loaded. Aside from the whole cancer treatment debacle with the insurance company (which, let's face it, is criminally overpriced no matter who you are), I doubt the man has had much experience with having to live hand to mouth much in his life. He targets several characters for actions that about five minutes worth of critical thinking could easily trace back to having to live off of low or sporadic income, and/or the mental and physical issues brought on by living that way (and that's not even including the deaths of people we didn't get as much background on, such as victims of the barbed wire and flammable jelly traps in the first movie). I can definitely understand wanting to punish the insurance company, and yeah, John Kramer has had a rough life in several other ways, but he is still a fucking hypocrite: one who is apparently smart enough to have 27 backup plans for any given plan he makes, yet somehow can't understand basic things like the relationship between socioeconomic status and mental illness, drug use, criminal activity, etc.
Anyway, TL;DR John Kramer is an asshole, and thank you for reading my rant.
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