#and of course the line of trees

[victorluvsalice]

Valerian Root, of course! And some more Mandrake, because it was available. If he’s growing plasma fruit for Smiler, he might as well get magical plants for himself! Even if he hasn’t really dabbled in alchemy yet. . .should have him get going on that! But yes, he headed over to the garden island to pick up all the unusual plants there, then proceeded back to HQ to search the bookcases for tomes. Didn’t find any, but he did find a fairy familiar orb! Which is nice, but -- I am going to just have to steal the dragon one in L. Faba’s quarters, aren’t I? I was TRYING to get it legit. . .

Anyway, after that, Victor chatted a bit with Simeon about magic and asked if he could get a new spell -- Simeon obliged by teaching him Delicioso, the food-creation spell! Nice. :) And from there he flew over to the shopping island, haggling with the ghostly Cameron at the Familiars, Wands, and Tomes shop before browsing the wares and realizing there was nothing he wanted there. Meeh. At least he got a cool fossil rock before he went back home! And the experience was apparently good for his taste buds, as he was able to taste and identify all the plants he’d picked up during his travels! (For reference, he has chamomile, fireleaf, morel mushrooms, false morel mushrooms, huckleberries, muckleberries, and elderberries.) I promptly put examples into the greenhouse for him to plant later once I got the planters sorted.

Meanwhile, Smiler felt the need to be social! With an ordinary human, specifically, thanks to their custom want. I had them fly over to where I could see Bjorn Bjergson wandering around, but by the time they got over there, the want had suddenly rerolled to “BECOME a human,” which, not happening. So I had them chat with their friend Sofia Bjergson (also wandering around), before whipping out the guitar and singing a few songs out in the countryside like a traveling bard. XD I mean, it DOES feel very Smilerish.

Alice came home around then -- without a promotion, boo. :( Gonna have to suffer the shitty bed for a little while longer, Victor! She was all about getting her paint on, so I had her go start a large abstract, while Smiler once again attempted to finish their mechanism, and ONCE AGAIN got zapped. I swear, that bench absolutely LOVES frying sims. *grumbles* So it was off to do yoga for Smiler to get their head in order. And to show off their ridiculous yoga outfit, which I kinda love. XD

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #the smiler #Victor is going to grow ALL THE THINGS #well maybe not ALL the things #but most of the things #I'm trying to organize the greenhouse so similar plants are grouped #flowers veggies fruit unusual #and of course the line of trees #it's been a process #slowly coming together though #and yes Victor is slowly but surely becoming more magical #I need to get him a cauldron #I have actually moved some stuff out of the barn recently #(this is about a playsession behind where I'm currently at) #next time I play I might just have to commit to a 'building episode' #and get this damn house finished #or closer to anyway #anyway enjoy Smiler's crop top #queued

[wasyago]

not drawing for others. not drawing for myself either. playing video games. okay? yay

#some more screenshots from my hardcore world <3 it's going good #built that tree from the last two pictures today :3 it's no bdubs level of course but i like how it turned out! #i think im slowly getting better at custom trees and building in general! happy #that building on the uhhh 6th image is my favorite so far! it houses my bee farm and it's so cool and vibrant and funky!!! loving it #the building on the 3rd image is also pretty good. it's an inn with a restaurant on the 1st floor and villager housing on the 2nd! #it's cozy in there but on the outide i think it could do with a bit more dress up. that part of the town is still in development so im sure #it'll come together eventually! like. with another house across the street and maybe some banner lines between them it's gonna look great #i also took that screenshot with my normal playing fov and not the low-good-for-screenshots fov so. yknow #welp. that's it for now i think #mining and building and also crafting #<- made the tag for it finally! check it out if you wanna; there's the previous set of screenshots as well #yagotalk

[tora-the-cat]

An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.

......right?

WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.

meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!

'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.

'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.

Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT

'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!

#shout out to @Obihoe cause this started as a tag comment on one of your posts that got WAY too out of hand. just like old times lol #team 7 #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #team crackhead #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasusaku #doesn't have to be but like. Yeah #for the record no disrespect to my boys Naruto n Kakashi I love them dearly. but like. they got their issues. that's half the fun of team 7 #And Sakura has her problems with Sasuke too!! But her problems have nothing to do with understand him or his motivations or his personhood #and more to do with. Well. her absolute dogshit empathy. Emotionally disregulated ass. #'if you leave me I'll feel just like you did when your parents died' My beloved. Iconic. Great line. No notes. She's really just still so #inexperienced and naive that means she can explain and predict and KNOW him and his actions but still not empathize. She can say shit #like that with a straight face because she's never FELT loss like this before (except that minute she thought he was dead on the bridge) #so she can't imagine a worse pain. Just assumes it can't GET worse because she has no emotional concept of 'worse'. so it must be the same #she's literally the only person with a chance of convincing Sasuke to take her with him to Orochimaru because he's SASUKE of course she #knows all the right pressure points and keywords and concerns and stuff that she needs to convince him. #she's literally playing a little diolouge tree game with him. And maybe even winning up until that line! it's the dealbreaker

[light-of-the-two-trees]

colour coded genealogy of all the characters in the silmarillion and how they're all somehow related

#or as an irl friend called it: the incest map #behold the fruits of my labour [read: truly disturbing obsession] #also how everyone tends to say that the house of finwe is the one marrying their cousins. you're right of course but please also look at: #elwe and his brothers. dior's and nimloth's lines form a circle. so do celeborn's and galadriel's. not to mention elrond #honestly the descendants of those three nelyar are doing it like no one else is [/mildly horrified and rather intrigued] #and it was not void #elves #mortal men #the silmarillion #silm #lotr #meta #<- sort of?? #legendarium tag #yes eru is on the tree. it's barely canonical in an actual relation sense but it's funny so *shrugs* #anyway here

[almea]

Oh, I'm very slow and just realized the thing where they'd get stuck walking in a loop was most likely specifically because they were trying to get to the tree rather than because they weren't following Alyx's story.

#Annie babbles about RWBY #rwby spoilers #I guess????? #I think the Curious Cat's 'You do not go to the tree the tree goes to you unless of course you're me' line makes sense now lmao

[code31-onthedancefloor]

you know what im just putting it in a separate post. this is my own ulixes backstory - content warning for parental+familial abuse/neglect.

Another stupid mistake.

Ulixes had forgotten to wash and put away the dishes. This had the immediate effect of enraging his father - who was hitherto consumed in a bad mood - and the expulsion of Ulixes from the family home for the night. Moronic of himself, Ulixes thought, to provoke him so thoughtlessly. Muffled in the kitchen and its yellowing white tiles with that awful, guttural shout, until Ulixes turned and ran - ran out the back door, to where his father would not follow under the siren call of another pyrholidon from the fridge. 

And so he sat, looking up at the house and the pale sky above it. An entire wooden thing slumping dauntless before him. It rotted and shook and groaned through stormy nights, as if aware of its absurd and depressing existence. Embarrassed by the silence of its residents. Apathetic to the omen of another hard winter. On the little porch around the back that nobody ever used - where it wouldn’t dampen his trousers - Ulixes wondered into the thrice-unread pages of his book: why doesn’t it just fall? 

Yet, the clocks kept turning, and the mice wouldn’t stop running through the pantry. Little scampering-scratching in the walls beside his bed. The pigeons that nested in the chimney each Summer. Ulixes Bücher, tucked away where no-one would try to find him. Empty pantries. Cold bed. Crumbling chimney. Ulixes, tucking himself away. That was the way of things. That was how nature was slowly reclaiming the Bücher household. Day by day. Night by night. 

Especially those long, long nights which were as black as pitch and twice as humid. Where he as a little boy would toss and turn and dream of the entire wretched house collapsing. In those dreams, he would wake up in the morning, surrounded by and buried in rubble - the mounted deer head, the ripped clothes, the four-poster bed in his parent’s room, the fine china that was never used - and Ulixes, sole survivor, a tiny dot in the wreckage, emerging. Fifteen tumbling steps to the left, and he would happen upon the remains of the family jewels. In this childish fantasy, Ulixes would sell the jewels and move far, far away. It didn’t matter where. The house just needed to fall. So why didn’t it? 

In a fit of frustration, he snapped his book shut. Wind tousled his hair as he meandered through the overgrown garden: through the long furs of grass - the deadnettle, which his older brothers would pick the flowers off to jokingly whip at him - past the old pine trees, all the way to the back. Here, a shed almost as old as the house itself stands vigil against the elements. A slightly brighter shade of wood, still dulled by years of use and disuse. A musky hint of rainy evenings past, warping the walls. Windowless. 

And no lock, of course - nobody would just let themselves into here, not in the East. Not where you were picked off the street and sent back across the canal for the most minor of public infractions. Except, nobody in the Bücher household has repeatedly accessed this little hovel either. Perhaps since his grandfather, as far as Ulixes knows. He did woodwork, or something to that effect, in his spare time. Back when they employed house-servants, this place could possibly have gone over the rusting equipment with a dust-rag. Now, all the erstwhile sawdust has simply blown away; a blessing for the jacket on Ulixes’ back which is quickly going to become a mattress under the dented, discoloured workbench - one of the only things nailed to the floor. 

He doesn’t know how many hours his grandfather spent here. By all accounts, he was a silent old man, praised by Ulixes’ siblings for scoring a once-in-a-lifetime engineering commission from a previously blossoming city. In fact, the Bücher household seem to have a thing for dying before Ulixes ever meets them. Apart from those who still remain in the house, he knows of one cousin who moved away to Jamrock, never to be heard of again. Every other member is locked in an eternal, poisonous game of one-upmanship over dinner, concerning wage brackets and managerial positions. Quoting the spiteful rants of his oldest brother - there used to be openings. And now there aren’t. Honest, skilled workers like he are forced back across the canal for work, where the jobs are cheap and the turnover is cheaper. His Aunt, spitting into a wine glass about mingling with the lower people, how the trickle-down up-swing has faded, how stagnancy has strangled her aspiration of a nice car and the subsequent respect that would blossom on everyone’s faces when she turns up in that. 

They have made it abundantly clear that whatever blessed the Bücher family three generations ago is never doubling back. The repairs the home direly needs will never be happening. Even if they did, the resounding result would simply be putting a plaster on a stab-wound. It doesn’t matter how much junk his father sells to put him through a return-on-investment education. So, why doesn’t the house fall? 

He breathes the afternoon light, perched in the doorframe; leaning. In contrast to the opulence of his grandparents’ tailor-made mansion, the shed is a utilitarian thing. Cuboid and sturdy, with its thick walls and insulated door - telling the tale of a person who would be complained away from the porch by neighbours or would not be dissuaded from partaking in outdoor hobbies in Winter. A floor softened by work boots. Flecks of paint and glue and oil staining in intervals. The whisper of pine needles reverberating around. So much wood, he thinks, like a little hole in a tree. A bird’s nest, from which he is watching the grey bulb of the sky grow dimmer and dimmer. Until the trees and the too-tall fence and the grasses turn into a shadow-puppet show. Until all Ulixes can hear is the wind. Until Ulixes can no longer read his book - only able to see a vague outline of his hands, and the stars still somehow shining through the city smog. Until he whistles, and the air stops whistling that jaunty little tune back into his ears, and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. That is when he shuts the door to the shed. 

It is warm, Ulixes’ little nest. Thrumming with that insulation, that warp-curved geometry. It does something comforting to your brain, such like a reinforcing example does for a belief you already hold. He parts his chapped lips, and pushes his tongue to the back of his throat. A little click of sound is released. A pushing of a particularly satisfying button - or the trigger pulled on an empty gun-barrel? 

The click bounces off the walls. It is an instantaneous cacophony, finished in less than a second. But it reels back his mind from wandering back to earlier, where the dishes were stacked and dirty and his father’s face was… 

Click. Click. Click. 

Echo. Echo. It never fails. Nothing is used against him, here - where no one will look for him. 

Ulixes opens his book to the middle before resting his head on it. He knows by experience the floor will mercifully not hurt his body come morning. A jacket, brown, coming apart at the seams, slung over his thin frame. 

Tonight, he dreams again of the house falling down. The wind; terrible and exacting, will extricate the foundations from the tumour of Revachol East and tumble it in a chef-swirl across the street. Miraculously, it would ignore The Shed, just as Ulixes would awake the next day to ruins, only to completely disregard its contents in favour of walking into the encroaching Pale. As if there was something in there for him. In there, where the air whistles back at him. 

#this boy has two refuges and it is Books and Shed #i hope i spelt pyrholidon correctly. oh well #i kinda left things vague here because i dont have a full family tree planned out or anything #and i dont really expect that to be happening anytime soon #i headcanon uli to be along the 'kim' line of 'repress everything until you forget it and then never think about it again' #which uhhhh. aha. i might be projecting. (<-they have DPDR) #it's MY flashfic and I get to choose the mental sickness #but unlike steban - ulixes doesnt mention his family in-game *at all*. he is at the book club to Follow Steban #and of course they align ideologically. but steban actually gives his ideas the time of day. he *listens* - despite not agreeing with #everything he says. he doesnt lash out. he is Gentle. #and what about that - to someone like ulixes - wouldn't make him want to follow steban into the pale? #also la revacholiere makes a cameo here. brief hints of what is to come. #disco elysium #ulixes bücher #echo maker #txt

[whystrain]

When doing Yard Work, Why Strain?

#fishing #landscaping #lawn care #tree care #bass #freashwater fishing #safety #saltwater fishing #outdoors #walleye #arborist #pole saw #carpal tunnel #recreation #made in U.S.A. #groundskeeper #tree trimming #golf #golf courses #cemetary #grounds #weed whacker #line trimmer #hedge trimmer #lineman #utility #tendonitus #rotator cuff

[unproduciblesmackdown]

meinnnn gott i was like boy this song can't be 8 & a half minutes....well the first 6 minutes of the video are phyllidia krampington loosing george salazar the krampus on everyone & their asshole (here her cousin, b/c although i swear on my life i have seen [phyllidia seducing the krampus via baby it's cold outside] photos, in this 2018 show that sequence is definitely about her trying to fuck melvin cooterstein in the ass. (note that she mentions the xmas villain's long-lost daughter harriet, as the [why are you so evil? / i don't kneauuraeaough....but it definitely doesn't have anything to do with xyz] but no long-lost presumed dead spouse, who would've been already mentioned in the 2019 show at this point though that's no incontrovertible evidence it's not relevant in this show. & my hypothesis is that if melvin is a long-lost anyone, phyllidia would be His long-lost daughter. but 50/50 could go either way! a beautiful relationship ft. the convenience of all these colonoscopies he keeps scheduling)) and then we meet the fancy tree! and don't get around to singing until phyllidia's exit & the krampus's partial sendoff to go feel better having some snacks (i.e., mingle & meander)

#it's GONGEOUS in here #fantastic delivery on ''until you all poo out of your butts'' #the krampus does seem to have a range of Half Demonic Half just some guy & fairly timid/sensitive really but glad to be here #of course doesn't Actually continually disrupt the show or strike anyone's asshole with birch reeds hence the need for a pickmeup tiramisu #that's tiramisu as a generic term which is something i'm making happen in my own vocabulary #& from there things can diverge lol...not being seduce in this year or 2019's so seems in that case: trying to fuck the fancy tree #who has a mwah line about this as exquisitely delivered as you see here. but i can't recall it exactly Need to be rehearing things #and Need this energy and delight and magic to go into [cyril krampus 2023 baby it's cold outside video PLEASE (please) PLEASE (please) #x 2 baby please. hit post....will do the Opposite of hitting your asshole with birch sticks. stand facing away from your ass wielding like #ostrich feathers & moving them in the gentlest patterns away from you. for being Great this year] #joe iconis christmas extravaganza #phyllidia krampington #apparently not always but here indeed with some relation to #the krampus #who based on knowledge & documentation does seem to have been frequently portrayed by george salazar #got that :3 little voice going lmao. she yelled at me....loud :'3 #krampus just wandering around peeing in bernedette peters' plaintain chips. maybe humping a tree's skirt (costuming not needle collecting) #you know how it is #Youtube

[bitchfitch]

Tbh i think I'd be less against the idea of golf if courses used the game as an excuse to create massive reserves for native insect and plant life instead of just mass tracts of overwatered ecologically dead grass.

Bc like, golf courses are the only sort of public trafficked land I know where there are immense amounts of social rules telling you to be as kind to the ground you are standing on as possible. No cars to rip up delicate patches or for insects to be bashed against, no one is going to go wandering off into a patch they shouldn't because doing so means admitting they fucked up and would get them dirty. and everyone there is paying Massive wads to be there.

and like, that's the dream for a nature reserve. But, it would also be a massive benefit to the sport. Instead of every golf course across the globe being functionally interchangeable aesthetically, each course would have a completely unique look and feel. complete with wild life making the whole thing feel Alive and giving you something to look at while brantworth the 3rd is teeing off.

All while the rich fucks who keep these places afloat would be able to boast about 'charitable donations to a nature reserve ' to further incentivise adoption of a more unique and ecologically friendly use of the land.

#like the amount of land the golf part of the golf course takes up is piddling. with trees and bushes being planted to break the line of #sight between holes. Thats where you put the native plants that can house host species for endangered insects #because its Real fuhken hard to get people to give a shit about insects and their role in the ecosystem. so you usually have to #couch conservation efforts for them in something else. Like a neat and pretty golf course

[katierosefun]

ooo oooooo it’s going to be one of those tiring days!

#caroline talks #tw vent #it's just. being told 'just use this as an excuse to become stronger' #i don't know how many of those i've got left in me bestie! #i've been telling myself that for just about twenty years now! twenty years of me telling myself 'just endure it just endure it' #the way that's been my mantra for like. years. #the way i see my life as a fuckign. running track. #you know. just run one more lap and then you've completed a mile #yes that's fine. but did u know i hate running on the track. #and running a mile always sucks when you're running on a track because you always remember #that you are going in fucking circles. #if you were going in a straight line running a mile feels so much more enjoyable #but when i tell myself 'just endure it' i just see myself running on a fucking track #just one more lap. just one more lap. #and then i feel the high of completing another mile but then i also remember. i'm going fucking nowhere! i'm still on the same stupid loop! #i'm still seeing the same stupid trees and the same stupid benches and i'm running on the same stupid red ground! #nothing has changed except maybe the time of day! #'endure it just one more lap just use this as an excuse for yourself to go stronger' #yes of course but also have u considered. i am so sick and tired of running the same goddamn track! #anyways can u tell i really hated gym class

[buckynats]

Absolutely making shit up as I go. Still finishing the other one and then I have to figure out how to attach them without ruining it all. I actually made my own pattern and cut fabric out to it without crying or panicking this time. So that's progress.

(Ignore how uneven those look, that's my abysmal posture at work. They do actually match in length when I'm standing still. And despite the lighting weirdness, it all matches.)

#something about following instructions is anathema to how my brain works #I opened sewing tutorials about three times over the course of working this out and closed them every time #far too many things on those. tick marks and hem lines and exact measurements #no thanks #plus I lost the last sewing machine in a flood and never got around to replacing it #we're doing this with glue sticks and fabric glue and prayers like nature intended #I tried handsewing one of the seams and gave up twenty stitches in once I realized it wouldn't be the end facing out #not like anyone's going to be up close and inspecting these or anything #visuals only #really hated how small and sad the original lapels on this coat were #enter: gumption and needless suffering #is this method replicable? absolutely not. will it help anyone else? absolutely not. was it fun? no #but I do feel accomplished #anyway #been a while since I've been costume crafty #my brain needed a project #pay no attention to time flying by before the end of the week #this'll be done tonight if I have any say in it #shoutout to the 1.25 per half yard scraps of fabric from dollar tree #the fact that the blacks match is actually a miracle considering how impossible that usually is #r.txt #cosplay stuff

[sp-ud]

My neighbor... does know that trimming the branches of our tree won't un-crooked his tree right? It will just not get more crooked.

#spud rambles #sorry he actually has people with actual lifts.to trim our tree for once #and im still so annoyed #it isnt illegal cuz its over the property line but like #bruh #amd of course its the day both my parents are out

[sploon-fic-fan]

can we make jack to the future a copypasta

Hey guys! Very excited about today’s video. A huge thanks to Lenovo for giving me their amazing brand-new phone, the Phab 2 Pro: The world’s first phone with Tango*. Which kinda feels like a piece from the future just dropped right here in the present. And that’s exactly why I decided to make a very special time-travel episode of jackask.

Question 1: “Do you believe in the possibility of time-travel?” I literally just said that this is the time-travel episode of jackask. Please try to keep up. punches ground beef

Question 2: “If you could go back in time, what’s one thing you’d change about your childhood?” Well, I would probably confront my middle school bully and tell him I grew up to be a big YouTube star. Of course, then he’d be all like, “what’s a YouTube?” You know what, that question sucks, next question.

Question 3: “Would you travel to the past of the future?” Listen up, HoOLiGanLLaMA, I’m about to blow your mind. takes bite of burger Mm, that’s good meat. So I’m taking my Phab 2 Pro with me to travel through space and time in my own personalized, home-built time machine. Purple, red… Oh yeah, green one, that’s good, I think that’s good… Lemme measure with my phone real quick. Okay, measuring the dimensions with Tango’s AR measurement tools to make sure everything lines up. Looks good. OPEN! throws chair against tree Let’s go! Just so you know, time travel is not instant. So while we’re waiting, how about I just answer some of your questions?

“How do I tell my parents that I’m goth?” What you can do is travel to the future where, uh, you outgrow your goth phase. Boom, problem solved.

“How many stars are in our galaxy?” Good question. To find out, we’re gonna go all the way back to 1590 to ask the man himself, Galileo. screams Galileo: If only we could see the heavens instead of relying on our mind’s eye. Jack: Whoa, shut up for a sec. I think I can help you guys out. Galileo’s Associate: ¡El diablo! J: No, it’s actually called ‘augmented reality,’ it lets me see a fully scaled model of the solar system. The sun, the Big Dipper, the Little Skipper, the Unicorn, the Unicran, some other ones… Oh, really quick, do you guys know how many stars are in our galaxy? You know what, I’ll just look it up. Thanks anyway, bye! G: He was a bit of a jerk, wasn’t he?

“What is your favorite video game?” Not really a fan of the new ones, I don’t really have the fingers for ‘em, so let’s go all the way back to 1972 to play the first video game.

J: Hey guys! What are we working on?

Guy with Glasses and Mustache: Well, I don’t mean to brag, but we’ve created something revolutionary. You see, this rectangular paddle hits this round circular ball, and then that ball travels across this empty black space where it meets up with… another paddle! Haha!

J: That’s really tight, guys, and you’ll be happy to hear that you helped pave the way for AR games. Check this out

Woman with Glasses: What is it?

J: It’s the future. So, you’re trying to hit this target.

WG: Where are the cords?

J: No cords. Here, look.

WG: Honey, we should get one of these!

“What do you think it will be like in the year 2150?” Ugh, finally! A good question! Let’s go to the future where people can finally wrap their minds around this crazy technology! It’s time to go Jack to the future! record scratch Get it? Uh, Jack to the future, it’s-it’s a pun on a famous movie, uh, where Simba loses his dad, um, wait… yeah, that’s right, yeah.

J: Oh my gosh, you must be my great great grandson!

Jacksfilms Look-Alike with White Hair: Get out of my home.

J: Let’s grab a picture of the handsome boy, huh?

JLAWH:

No. J: Just gotta add a dragon, and boom! It’s pretty cool, right, little dragon popping up and everything. You body language says ‘yes’.

JLAWH: No.

J: Not a little?

JLAWH: Nuh-uh.

J: Not even a little?

JLAWH: …No.

J: Yeah, no, I-I’m busy too, I gotta get back to my time machine. It was really cool catching up, hehe! Call me! Or, you kn- aw, it doesn’t work like that. Uh, call me anyway, man.

All in all, that was a pretty good trip. Oh, and Lenovo, thanks for the free phone, not giving it back, hehe. runs into lighting equipment Not paying for that! Not paying for that! Not my problem!

#Hey guys! Very excited about today’s video. A huge thanks to Lenovo for giving me their amazing brand-new phone #the Phab 2 Pro: The world’s first phone with Tango*. Which kinda feels like a piece from the future just dropped right here in the present. #what’s one thing you’d change about your childhood?” Well #I would probably confront my middle school bully and tell him I grew up to be a big YouTube star. Of course #then he’d be all like #“what’s a YouTube?” You know what #that question sucks #next question. Question 3: “Would you travel to the past of the future?” Listen up #HoOLiGanLLaMA #I’m about to blow your mind. takes bite of burger Mm #that’s good meat. So I’m taking my Phab 2 Pro with me to travel through space and time in my own personalized #home-built time machine. Purple #red… Oh yeah #green one #that’s good #I think that’s good… Lemme measure with my phone real quick. Okay #measuring the dimensions with Tango’s AR measurement tools to make sure everything lines up. Looks good. OPEN! throws chair against tree Le #time travel is not instant. So while we’re waiting #how about I just answer some of your questions? “How do I tell my parents that I’m goth?” What you can do is travel to the future where #uh #you outgrow your goth phase. Boom #problem solved. “How many stars are in our galaxy?” Good question. To find out #we’re gonna go all the way back to 1590 to ask the man himself #Galileo. screams Galileo: If only we could see the heavens instead of relying on our mind’s eye. Jack: Whoa #shut up for a sec. I think I can help you guys out. Galileo’s Associate: ¡El diablo! J: No #it’s actually called ‘augmented reality #’ it lets me see a fully scaled model of the solar system. The sun #the Big Dipper #the Little Skipper #the Unicorn

[joycrispy]

Awhile ago @ouidamforeman made this post:

This shot through my brain like a chain of firecrackers, so, without derailing the original post, I have some THOUGHTS to add about why this concept is not only hilarious (because it is), but also...

It. It kind of fucks. Severely.

And in a delightfully Pratchett-y way, I'd dare to suggest.

I'll explain:

As inferred above, both Crowley AND Aziraphale have canonical Biblical counterparts. Not by name, no, but by function.

Crowley, of course, is the serpent of Eden.

(note on the serpent of Eden: In Genesis 3:1-15, at least, the serpent is not identified as anything other than a serpent, albeit one that can talk. Later, it will be variously interpreted as a traitorous agent of Hell, as a demon, as a guise of Satan himself, etc. In Good Omens --as a slinky ginger who walks funny)

Lesser known, at least so far as I can tell, is the flaming sword. It, too, appears in Genesis 3, in the very last line:

"So he drove out the man; and placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." --Genesis 3:24, KJV

Thanks to translation ambiguity, there is some debate concerning the nature of the flaming sword --is it a divine weapon given unto one of the Cherubim (if so, why only one)? Or is it an independent entity, which takes the form of a sword (as other angelic beings take the form of wheels and such)? For our purposes, I don't think the distinction matters. The guard at the gate of Eden, whether an angel wielding the sword or an angel who IS the sword, is Aziraphale.

(note on the flaming sword: in some traditions --Eastern Orthodox, for example-- it is held that upon Christ's death and resurrection, the flaming sword gave up it's post and vanished from Eden for good. By these sensibilities, the removal of the sword signifies the redemption and salvation of man.

...Put a pin in that. We're coming back to it.)

So, we have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword, introduced at the beginning and the end (ha) of the very same chapter of Genesis.

But here's the important bit, the bit that's not immediately obvious, the bit that nonetheless encapsulates one of the central themes, if not THE central theme, of Good Omens:

The Sword was never intended to guard Eden while Adam and Eve were still in it.

Do you understand?

The Sword's function was never to protect them. It doesn't even appear until after they've already fallen. No... it was to usher Adam and Eve from the garden, and then keep them out. It was a threat. It was a punishment.

The flaming sword was given to be used against them.

So. Again. We have our pair. The Serpent and the Sword: the inception and the consequence of original sin, personified. They are the one-two punch that launches mankind from paradise, after Hell lures it to destruction and Heaven condemns it for being destroyed. Which is to say that despite being, supposedly, hereditary enemies on two different sides of a celestial cold war, they are actually unified by one purpose, one pivotal role to play in the Divine Plan: completely fucking humanity over.

That's how it's supposed to go. It is written.

...But, in Good Omens, they're not just the Serpent and the Sword.

They're Crowley and Aziraphale.

(author begins to go insane from emotion under the cut)

In Good Omens, humanity is handed it's salvation (pin!) scarcely half an hour after losing it. Instead of looming over God's empty garden, the sword protects a very sad, very scared and very pregnant girl. And no, not because a blameless martyr suffered and died for the privilege, either.

It was just that she'd had such a bad day. And there were vicious animals out there. And Aziraphale worried she would be cold.

...I need to impress upon you how much this is NOT just a matter of being careless with company property. With this one act of kindness, Aziraphale is undermining the whole entire POINT of the expulsion from Eden. God Herself confronts him about it, and he lies. To God.

And the Serpent--

(Crowley, that is, who wonders what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil anyway; who thinks that maybe he did a GOOD thing when he tempted Eve with the apple; who objects that God is over-reacting to a first offense; who knows what it is to fall but not what it is to be comforted after the fact...)

--just goes ahead and falls in love with him about it.

As for Crowley --I barely need to explain him, right? People have been making the 'didn't the serpent actually do us a solid?' argument for centuries. But if I'm going to quote one of them, it may as well be the one Neil Gaiman wrote ficlet about:

"If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization." --Robert G. Ingersoll

The first to ask questions.

Even beyond flattering literary interpretation, we know that Crowley is, so often, discreetly running damage control on the machinations of Heaven and Hell. When he can get away with it. Occasionally, when he can't (1827).

And Aziraphale loves him for it, too. Loves him back.

And so this romance plays out over millennia, where they fall in love with each other but also the world, because of each other and because of the world. But it begins in Eden. Where, instead of acting as the first Earthly example of Divine/Diabolical collusion and callousness--

(other examples --the flood; the bet with Satan; the back channels; the exchange of Holy Water and Hellfire; and on and on...)

--they refuse. Without even necessarily knowing they're doing it, they just refuse. Refuse to trivialize human life, and refuse to hate each other.

To write a story about the Serpent and the Sword falling in love is to write a story about transgression.

Not just in the sense that they are a demon and an angel, and it's ~forbidden. That's part of it, yeah, but the greater part of it is that they are THIS demon and angel, in particular. From The Real Bible's Book of Genesis, in the chapter where man falls.

It's the sort of thing you write and laugh. And then you look at it. And you think. And then you frown, and you sit up a little straighter. And you think.

And then you keep writing.

And what emerges hits you like a goddamn truck.

(...A lot of Pratchett reads that way. I believe Gaiman when he says Pratchett would have been happy with the romance, by the way. I really really do).

It's a story about transgression, about love as transgression. They break the rules by loving each other, by loving creation, and by rejecting the hatred and hypocrisy that would have triangulated them as a unified blow against humanity, before humanity had even really got started. And yeah, hell, it's a queer romance too, just to really drive the point home (oh, that!!! THAT!!!)

...I could spend a long time wildly gesturing at this and never be satisfied. Instead of watching me do that (I'll spare you), please look at this gif:

I love this shot so much.

Look at Eve and Crowley moving, at the same time in the same direction, towards their respective wielders of the flaming sword. Adam reaches out and takes her hand; Aziraphale reaches out and covers him with a wing.

You know what a shot like that establishes? Likeness. Commonality. Kinship.

"Our side" was never just Crowley and Aziraphale. Crowley says as much at the end of season 1 ("--all of us against all of them."). From the beginning, "our side" was Crowley, Aziraphale, and every single human being. Lately that's around 8 billion, but once upon a time it was just two other people. Another couple. The primeval mother and father.

But Adam and Eve die, eventually. Humanity grows without them. It's Crowley and Aziraphale who remain, and who protect it. Who...oversee it's upbringing.

Godfathers. Sort of.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale #good omens meta #I have no idea if I've made a coherent point here but I'm tired of this being in my drafts; RAW FEELINGS IT IS #it's about being sent to destroy and instead staying to love and protect and nurture I'M CRAZY I'M CRAZY RAAAAAAAGGHHHH #gnu terry pratchett

[soyoursoulisgreen]

5, 11, and 30 for the artist ask meme!

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

It's increased over time! Well, actually, it's been a bell curve, kind of. Maybe more like a roller coaster lol. Obviously before I was online I wasn't sharing any of the stuff I drew; I drew for about seven years before posting anything - casually, for my own entertainment - and then for a while I was posting almost everything in some form or another; if I didn't post the original doodle, it was because I cleaned it digitally! But I got pretty burnt out on that haha - it does still come and go in cycles lol. Nowadays I probably keep back about 30% of what I draw? Although it can be hard to quantify - if you upload to an audience of zero, is it actually online? Haha ♪ Or an audience of one! Just because it's shared using the internet as a middle man, does that count as "posting"? :0 I don't know! I think it's an interesting question tho!

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

Yes! It really depends on what I'm drawing; my go-tos are always Reddit story readings since I don't have to think too hard about picking one, they last a while, and they keep my auditory brain occupied while my hands and eyes are busy. For a couple days of Requestober, especially the Portal/Stanley Parable days but also the song prompt, I was listening to themed stuff - GLaDOS lines, Narrator lines, the aforementioned song haha. I hate having to stop to pick the next thing! It makes editing my footage harder and throws off my flow :P

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

A lot of my Law Abiding Citizen stuff probably - LAC is such a good series!! I wish more people would see it/were still into it. We're few, and I was late to party, but my love still burns! If I had to pick just one thing tho, I think it'd have to go to one of my Just Desserts comics - I cried while drawing it initially, and I still think Charm's transition from her smiling-crying face to her angry-crying face is so well done ♥

#Woah an original post #Ask #Ask me #Thank you! :D I had to think about these! Especially the first and last one! #I've been trying to find a good balance of drawing for myself/allowing myself space to mess up while also being proud of things #It can actually be hard to thread that needle lol - sometimes I'm like ''Well it's alright :/ But this bit is good! But out of context....' #It can be hard to be judicious! I really do want to show off a lot of it but I also want to leave room for myself! #I've been working on an all behind-the-scenes project over the course of October :3c #I'm almost ready to start compiling it! I'm buying myself a bit more time haha ♪ #And of the audience of none thing - that behind the scenes project? Technically it's online right now - but on my Patreon lol #Tree falls in a forest and all that haha - it's a secret for as long as anyone else dictates! It's interesting :3 #Plus there's also the thing of showing your online friends but not the wider public - where's the line? #How many people have to have seen something for it to count as being ''posted online''? #Even still - I always draw for myself haha ♪ I just also happen to share a lot lol but that's kind of a side effect of being pleased pfft #I have gotten so dry on things to listen to haaaghhh - I know I have a bajillion podcasts at my disposal but my brain is so pickyyyy #It has to be low-stress and not a bummer but interesting but not Too interesting that it becomes Inspiring- pfbtl >:P #I'm actually listening to something right now as well lol - I listen to music when I write and stories when I draw :D #I can't get 'em mixed - brain is picky lol (But really it's because it engages different parts of my brain that need attention) #It was also hard to answer the last one since I still kinda consider myself a fairly small artist haha - I like a lot of my art! #Even my old stuff :D Sometimes even especially my old stuff! #What counts as underrated when a lot of my stuff trends towards being on the quiet side? :0 #That said I've been absolutely delighted by the Property of Hate and Portal turnout ahh <3 <3 Makes me happy to see them being enjoyed!! #Anyway sorry for going so long apparently I had Thoughts™ lol

[buggachat]

adrien never went to public school / adrienette have never met AU where Ladynoir are dating but Marinette has beef with Adrien Agreste™ on twitter, spurred by her interest in the fashion industry and her friendship with Mylene. ads are all over the place of Adrien promoting products like air in a bottle and NFTs and just generally so many products that are extremely poor taste/bad for the environment. Marinette tweets about beauty standards in the industry and all the shit Gabriel brand does to the environment and how Adrien Agreste perfectly encapsulates it all.

Adrien, of course, never responds to any of her tweets. her tweets are just white noise in the background. she is nowhere near on his level. one day Marinette tweets out something akin to "if I saw Adrien Agreste irl i'd punch him in the face" and her twitter gets banned for Threats of Violence, Alya draws attention to the injustice of it via the Ladyblog and suddenly "I want to punch Adrien Agreste in the face [gets banned]" becomes a bit of a meme. NOW people know who Marinette is and are listening to what she's saying (on her new account or whatever). Chat Noir also tweets that he wants to punch Adrien in the face

A hashtag trends. Marinette caves and starts tweeting about the scandals of the industry on her Ladybug twitter too. Adrien's twitter and instagram comments are flooded with both threats to punch him but also just generally critical comments like "nice pic and all but are you not going to address the sweatshop allegations?". Adrien still does not address it. At most he turns comments off. Marinette is gnawing at the wood of her desk.

Then a Ladybug and Chat Noir identity reveal happens.

Marinette is stunned. Absolutely mouth agape. Cannot form words. Chat Noi— NO, ADRIEN— ADRIEN FUCKING AGRESTE looks at her and is like "oh ha :) .... Marinette Dupain-Cheng, right? You're the girl who wanted to punch me hahaha"

after recovering from her world being shattered, she's like...... "hahaha...... um............... yeah...... uh..... so you... DO know who i am. and you're just. ignoring it then. hahaha... ok... thats....... fine..... anyway..... u-uh...... im not... gonna actually punch you. but. um. k-kitty do you um. maybe want to stop promoting deforestation and all that"

he's like "I don't"

she's like. "yes you do. literally in your newest ad you said to the camera 'who needs trees when bottled air is the way of the future'. like did you really read that line out loud and not see a problem with it"

"yeah, that wasn't me"

"what are you talking abou—"

"it's deepfaked"

"..... what"

"all of my ads in the past few years are deepfakes. I complained too much so my father fired me. turns out that i signed away all rights to my face and voice to him when I was 13 or something. he can just use my face and voice and name however he wants. he generates ads. i dont even have access to the 'Adrien Agreste' twitter or insta accounts. sometimes he makes me do runways but beyond that I'm not involved in all."

"... ... ... ... ... what"

"yeah haha... :") im sorry. i wish i could help you more. but he never listens to me. i don't like it either, i.... i've asked him to stop sooo many times. but he never listens to me. i hate seeing my face used without my consent but haha.... i don't... have any rights here so. sorry. i really wish i could help more"

and now marinette hates "Adrien Agreste"™ ads/posts EVEN MORE and is threatening to kill Gabriel Agreste himself. all while kissing the real adrien agreste silly