#and thats on the health classes they dont teach

[criesingayscale]

Sasuke comes out, a little bit

#and thats on the health classes they dont teach #canon mangacap #anime #anime memes #naruto #sasuke #naruto shippuden #uchiha sasuke #sasuke uchiha

[scaredofmyocs]

I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long

#talk post #i love this blog i want to live here #I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg #but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before #WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY #(yelling at a mirror) #seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately #and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week #making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts #and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again #this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row #but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school #and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing #and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year #and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it #like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me #PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE #i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean #i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy” #but things only work for so long #i hate the passage of time #anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff) #walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor #ramble #hit post

[cats-thoughts]

"My main goal in life is to have a yellow kitchen. I want a yellow kitchen because yellow is my favorite color, and I think it is a good color for a kitchen to be. I also set this goal out of spite for the school system pushing younger kids into having huge goals when Living is Enough. Big goals are overwhelming. I want a yellow kitchen."

#vent tags sorry #my gaming concepts class is getting on my nerves #first they dont tell me i have the class until 4 weeks in i get a message like 'ay u havnt logged on in 4 weeks u got stuff 2 do' #'its on another website btw' #and then its not. its not even teaching me gaming concepts. #this is just PE and Health all over again #they make u fill out 'this is what i ate today and this is how much sleep i got and this is how much exercise i got' #and 'this is what i want to do better/how i can do better' #and it just feels like im getting shamed every time i have to say 'i only ate a mac n cheese cup today' #'i have not exercised. i slept more than 12 hours' #so far the only game related things i have heard abt is ESports and shooter games #i didnt even want this class. i wanted chemistry. why did u give me Gaming Concepts I Did Not Want This #I dont want to learn about the shooter games I play EXCLUSIVELY minecraft and sometimes slime rancher #i cannot answer 'what my favorite class to play in video games is' because i dont have one #i just play sandbox survival game and sometimes hypixel minigames #please i beg of you #LET ME FREEE #anyways they asked what my Big Goals In Life were like. Sir that is None Of Your Business Im Here For Video Games #so thats my answer. yellow kitchen :]

[mirsvintagesonytv]

BSD College band AU

Look i have so many au ideas that im not prepared to write but i think theyre cool so theyre going on here anyways heres one brief outline of a band au thats been floating around my head for the past few days:

-Dazai Osamu, lit major. He starts a band with his sister Yosano (pry the sibling dynamic from my cold dead hands i dare u). He's perfectionistic and controlling since this is his dream, and isn't ever happy with the suggestions that Yosano makes for members of the band. He's the lyricist of the band, and plays guitar and piano. He was a piano prodigy as a kid, being forced to compete by their foster father Mori when he was young, but always preferred guitar. He's the rhythm guitarist. He's obsessive over music and will neglect his own health over the band (he almost always is sleep deprived and has bandages over his hands from overplaying the piano and guitar until his fingers would bleed)

-Yosano Akiko, bio major, she helps Dazai start the band. She plays violin classically but was the one to teach Dazai guitar when they were kids since she rebelled against Mori. Now she plays bass guitar. She does vocals occasionally, depending on what Dazai's vision is with the lyrics.

-Atsushi Nakajima, a down on his luck 3rd year in high school who just got kicked out by his foster parents after he turned 18. He played guitar as a kid and is a prodigy. He met Dazai one night after he tried to kill himself bc college sucks, and Dazai sees his guitar case, since Atsushi was busking at the time to pay for a hotel room, and is asked to join the band. Atsushi agrees bc why not, and Dazai lets him move in with him since he doesn't live in dorms (him and Yosano have their own place) He's the lead guitarist in the band.

-Ranpo Edogawa, Yosano's best friend and a criminology major. He has nothing to do with the band, but he's their biggest supporter. He works at a cafe alongside Poe, where the band frequently plays since Ranpo convinced the owner (Fukuzawa) to let them play there.

-Akutagawa Ryuunosuke and Gin, high school students and friends of Atsushi. Atsushi recommends him to Dazai who begrudgingly lets them join the band (Gin is their sound tech, and Higuchi later joins to become their manager) They compete over who gets Dazai's validation since they both look up to him (which dazai is like literally why. you should not be doing that Yosano is gonna kill me) He plays bass alongside Yosano. (also side sskk bc slay)

-Kouyou Ozaki, sociology major, she meets Yosano at a party where she sings karaoke and Yosano decides that she wants Kouyou to be their vocalist. She initially refuses since she's busy with college stuff, but introduces Yosano to her friend Verlaine (a psychology major), who's adoptive brother Chuuya is a drummer, and is looking to join a band. Later they make a deal that if Yosano can convince Chuuya to join she will too. Which miraculously does happen. Kouyou is their main vocalist.

-Nakahara Chuuya, lit major. He plays drums and guitar. He used to be in a band in highschool that got fairly popular with his childhood friends called "The flags". The band split up when they all went to different colleges though. He is in Dazai's lit class and they have a rivalry. Yosano asks him to join the band and chuuya refuses bc he HATES DAZAI. They do not get on WHATSOEVER. But after a lot of bickering and fighting Dazai gives in and lets him join (he says its bc he wanted Kouyou on board, but doesnt mention how he saw Chuuya playing his songs solo at a open mic at a bar nearby and was mesmerized) They eventually become friends. Chuuya is their main drummer but helps with lyrics sometimes. (bc i need soukoku writing songs together pls)

-The two other main bands are the hunting dogs (consisting of Teruko, Jouno, tetchou and Tachihara, except Tachihara's brother is the leader instead of Fukuchi bc i actually dont care about him sorry), and the decay of angels (but its just the russians lmao its just sigma nikolai and fyodor and sigma is sick of their shit)

-Dazai knew of the flags before and liked their music but is unaware that Chuuya is the same person that was in the flags.

-He falls for chuuya first and hard. (also making dazai ace bc #slay ace world domination) and chuuya also likes dazai but is like unsure of whether its reciprocated, and since both are shit at feelings its just pain as everyone else has to watch them pine over each other for like months.

-Kousano bc slay band lesbians <3 Yosano is very vocal about her love for Kouyou and is constantly asking her on dates etc, even though Kouyou goes weeks thinking its a joke.

-Chuuya's first band wasn't the flags, but the sheep, which ended with the sheep stealing the songs chuuya wrote and claiming credit for them, after chucking him out of the band. He's still salty about it years later, especially when Yuan attempts to get in contact with him when Dazai's band starts playing venues and getting popular.

-idk if i'll write any more for this but it popped in my head and im actually attached to the idea lol <3

#bsd #soukoku #dazai osamu #skk #slay #bungou stray dogs #chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd headcanons #bsd fyodor #bsd imagines #bsd atsushi #bungo stray dogs #band au #modern au #bsd band au #dazai #dazai x chuuya #akutagawa #they are slaying #kousano #yosano akiko #akiko yosano #fukuzawa yukichi #yosano x kouyou #ozaki kouyou #yosano #bsd kouyou #bungou stray dogs kouyou

[raspberrysmoon]

ugh @rtcshipweeks is sm fun but also i did not mean for this to turn out how it did - day 7: favorite penny ship!! spacedolls

maybe cw for death and talks of death/funerals? its sweet i promise but it might be a bit sad

ricky potts wasn't good at making friends. nobody really wanted to be his friend, anyway.

until penny lamb arrived.

she was strange. she came from the commune a few towns over, so she wasn't quite acclimated to such a big environment. something told ricky that she wasn't sure what she was doing. ever.

she stumbled through conversations, barely passed most classes, and couldn't seem to get a hang of anything religious.

but everyday, like clockwork, she came up to ricky during lunch, sat down and started to talk to him. the first day she did it, she admitted that she wasn't sure how to talk to him since he couldn't talk back, but that she wanted to try. he laughed, and nodded to her, pulling out his aac device and introducing himself.

and they talked every day from then on. he started to teach her sign language, and she told him she was teaching her brother so she could get use out of it when she wasn't with him. she helped him fend off bullies, or ocean, with her arguably scary 6' frame and linebacker shoulders. he helped her with homework, and carefully explained the bible when she needed him to.

he met her brother- ezra- and she met his parents and cats. he was forced to teach her the signs for.. less school appropriate things after his mother joked that they should be careful, and always use protection! and that you should at least wait until you're 18. penny giggled at him when he explained it with a warm face and shaky hands.

that also led into him mentioning his lifespan after shooting down her question several times.

'25.' he signed flatly, 'my lifespan is around 25. maybe 30 if i get lucky.'

he could see the moment her heart cracked. "thats not very long."

he shook his head, 'no, it isn't. but life goes on, right?'

she hummed half-heartedly. "i guess so. does it upset you?"

ricky smiled, shaking his head again. 'i've had years to accept it. i'm not happy about it, but my body can only do so much for me. thats okay.'

penny nodded slowly, and he could almost see the gears turning in her head. "do you have a bucket list?"

he blinked, meeting her gaze. 'yeah, i do. i've been told its pretty short, though.'

"whats the first item?"

1. have a picnic on the beach

2. go skydiving (maybe???)

3. get married (for love !!)

4. swim with sharks

5. go apple picking with mom

6. write a book (and publish it !!!)

7. mushroom picking

8. dye hair pink and purple

9. pierce ears

10. play paintball

and it kept going for pages. penny couldn't imagine a long bucket list if she tried, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

"well, why dont we drive to the store and check one of those?"

1. have a picnic on the beach

2. go skydiving (maybe???)

3. get married (for love !!)

4. swim with sharks

5. go apple picking with mom

6. write a book (and publish it !!!)

7. mushroom picking

8. have pink and purple hair

9. pierce ears

10. play paintball

it took nearly six years to clear the list. ricky was turning 22, and his health was starting to decline a bit faster than he would've liked.

penny stayed with him the whole time, never once willing to leave his side. she helped him and his parents plan for his funeral as it approached, and she promised that any cats his parents didn't want to or couldn't keep would go to her and her brother.

by the time ricky was 24, there was one item left on his list.

3. get married (for love !!)

penny honestly couldn't stand for that. traditionally she knew that the man proposed, but she had pushed him to take this seriously, and he was always able to say no.

and so, penny lamb bought a ring and asked ricky potts to marry her. finally, after nearly eight years, she got to ask.

and he agreed, tears streaming down his face as his hands trembled into a yes, yes please, yes.

and ricky could finally cross off the final item on his bucket list.

they were together in their house, surrounded by cats and trinkets from friends, burrowed under blankets and pillows when he died three years later at 27.

she loved him, and he loved her. until his very last breath, he loved her.

#ride the cyclone #rtc #rtc ship weeks #ricky potts #penny lamb #penny ride the cyclone #ricky rtc #spacedolls #death cw #i feel bad i didnt mean for this to be angsty #whoopsie

[sungsuho]

18 and 19<3 and 2. if you have an answer for that one

YOU JUST WANT TO SEE MY GUYS SUFFERRRRRRRRRRRR but ok. i stay silly. im going to ignore the cop out answer of 'finding his mentors dead and mangled corpse' (cjh) and 'the people he grew to lead and trust suddenly trying to kill him and chase him away, resulting in him having to kill some of his best friends to survive' (shua). because thats the obvious one

18. a memory that still makes your OC angry?

choi jaehui was orphaned very young as a child and every adult he had in his life viewed him as a worthless burden upon them, so every time he sees children treated as lesser-beings he gets REALLY angry because he knows what it was like to be treated like that. thats why whenever hes asked to come in as a guest speaker for a school he always says yes, on condition that he gets to teach the elementary classes (this, of course, makes the headmasters running the school angry because they believe anyone can teach children the basics, but only a master like choi jaehui can teach and answer questions that more advanced classes might have)

for shua one thing that gets him consistently angry is when people look down on the abilities of the people he has lead and trained, because he takes it as an insult in his ability to teach and pass on skills. he finds it incredibly insulting when someone says one of his students is talent less, even if he only taught them for a short amount of time

neither of them really have a 'this one very specific thing makes me get angry when i think back on it' moment in their lives, at least not anything more superficial than like. my crush called me ugly >:( kind of things. its more of actions towards others that they see that makes them mad. lol !

19. a memory that still makes your OC sad?

as i said choi jaehui did not have the best childhood, to say the least, so he always thinks back on his childhood with a sort of melancholy, but one moment that he always remembers with sadness is when he was about 9 or 10 and he found a cat injured outside his house, and he asked his aunt and uncle if he could keep it and nurse it back to health, and their aunt and uncle made some sort of remark of "we already have to spend extra money feeding and taking care of you, why would we ever take in an animal as well?" it makes him so :( when he thinks about how he wasnt able to help the cat. he tried his best to find someone who could take it in but was unable to, so the best he could do was leave it at the closest tavern and hope someone saw the cat there and decided to take it in

(and no the cat wasnt shua. thatd be funny and a certifed yaoi moment but it wasnt shua it was just some random cat he found)

for shua MAN ive been here for like 10 mins trying to think of something. he had a pretty good life before he got betrayed by the people he trusted the most and had to flee for his life and become an outlaw i cant really think of anything in his life that LINGERED that left him sad. before all of that. not anything with substance at least again stuff like 'i was rejected by my crush :(' or whatever but not anything beyond that

2. describe your character's voice. do they have a voice claim?

Man youre the voice actor guy not me. i dont really think about this stuff but choi jaehui is very soft spoken. he has the kind of voice that makes you feel Calm when you listen to it. when he takes on the mantel of the like. king of the underworld or whatever it becomes a lot more Sharp and strict sounding, but he is still overall a very soft spoken guy

for shua its like. i cant even describe it TO BE HONEST its a lot like how i hear jotchie in my head which means nothing. bratty is not the right word but i cant think of anything else. very arrogant but also very needy sounding LOL. i cannot describe his voice well....

#this took me 30 mins to type out and write #i should create a tag for them #cjh #sure #thank you for indulging my insanity

[manie-sans-delire-x]

there are men dealing with men's issues. the problem is that radfem organizations have gathered power and influence and in many areas will actively lobby to prevent resources being given to orgs that help men. there's many cases of attempts to open shelters for men being shut down by lobby from feminist orgs. there's the fact that it is impossible to have a broad movement of "men's rights" specifically because it will be discredited and nipped in the bud by certain feminist interest groups. yes, sure 'MRA's are in big part responsible for this too. but like, outside of completely backwards and assinine 'versions' of feminism such as radical feminism, there's is a conscience that on a political and social level, equality of genders cannot be achieved if women's needs are held in higher regard than men's or if men do not have proper resources to help themselves. this is the part where modern intersectional feminist movements advocate for deep structural changes (dismantling the patriarchy) in order for *everyone* to have resources necessary for their well being. society as it is doesn't care about men's well being or actual self determination. when it comes to mental health for instance, men have significantly fewer resources than women do. this is why more and more men participate in feminist movements. in the long run, feminist ideology and politics have a better chance of advancing the cause of equality and just general improvement of life quality for everyone, then creating a specifically "men oriented" movement. actual conscious feminism is rooted in class consciousness, anti-capitalism and anti-colonialism, and these things affect men as well women, although in different ways. this is why there's a place for men in feminism, and why feminism is also concerned with men's issues. these two things are interconnected and do not exist in a vacuum. you seem like a smart person, you should really stop listening to radfems. there's plenty of other "types" of feminism or feminist schools of thought that are much more anchored in reality. not to mention that the Venn diagram of radfems and fascists is practically a circle. the whole bio essentialism thing, considering males as inherently abusive and automatically usurpatory vs. women is the same trick as labeling any group of people as "inherently dangerous and incapable of change and therefore They Are The Enemy". not to mention how fucking hopeless that is. what's the point in all of this if people are just "born this way"? that means theres no possible future where things can be better. radfem mentality is counterproductive at best, toxic and dangerous at worst. what kind of 'feminists' get female s.workers incarcerated to "save them"?? what kind of 'feminist thinker' teaches women that any penetrative sex is rape??? stop listening to batshit insane people...

Woah, when did I even mention radical feminism? I am capable of my own thoughts you know, why are you assuming I'm being influenced by extremists? None of my beliefs about sex equality are extremist, they're very basic feminist concepts. I definitely don't think incarcerating sex workers is saving them or any penetrative sex is rape. Definitely dont think all men are evil or whatever either. I've never said that and I would never believe such ridiculous things. So no, I'm not "listening to batshit insane people" at all actually. So wtf are you talking about with that?

Are they shutting down shelters for men, or simply saying that men should not be allowed into women's shelters? Because thats very different. The first is fucked up, men deserve equal help. The second is very reasonable and I back that.

Also I would be careful about the use of the phrase "mens rights" because men are not lacking rights. Nowhere in the world is there a law that denies rights to men for being male. I know I used it too lol, but that was because men like the ones I spoke about love using that phrase. But theres a huge difference between societal issues mainly affecting a certain sex vs that sex being denied rights. There are societal issues which affect mainly men, absolutely, and resources for men are indeed lacking compared to womans. Not because of malice towards men but because women are the vast majority of victims of domestic violence, trafficking, single parents, etc. They genuinely need it more. And thats not like a "win for feminism, fuck men lol" thing, thats actually the whole problem to begin with isnt it? -that women are disproportionately being victimized, in almost every category of crime. 

“This is why more and more men participate in feminist movements” Are they? Because all I ever see are men hating on feminism, saying there is no longer a need for it, and denying the extremely extensive damage that men as a whole have been committing upon women as a whole for thousands of years. I would hope this is true though.

"In the long run, feminist ideology and politics have a better chance of advancing the cause of equality and just general improvement of life quality for everyone, then creating a specifically "men oriented" movement. ... This is why there's a place for men in feminism, and why feminism is also concerned with men's issues. These two things are interconnected and do not exist in a vacuum."

I absolutely agree that issues are interconnected and complex, and I agree that men should care about womens issues and women should care about mens issues. I think you misunderstood my post. My post was complaining about men who dont care about sex equality issues- for men or women- until it negatively affects men/a man, and then they use that to complain about feminism or somehow discredit womens rights movements. 

#asks

[surpriserose]

🎹 i get unreasonably angry anytime i hear an ed sheeran song, not only do they all sound the same but the way that he targets ellie goulding despite them never being in a relationship is so fucking creepy and despite her shutting down rumors of them ever being together it still follows her everywhere i HATE him

No its literally so fucking gross and people just don't remember that when it comes to his reputation 😒

I personally hate him because i saw this picture of him on stage with beyonce and shes in like this full on fancy gown and heels and shit and hes just...in a t shirt and jeans like?? Die!!!! Put in some fucking effort

PLUS i remember i had to listen to one of his songs thats like about this homeless drug addict dying and its so like...i dont know how to describe it in any other way but tragedy porn and you know the middle class white women who listen to him ate it up because i heard it in my health class in our drug unit either right before or after we got a YOUTH PASTOR to teach us sex ed 😐😐😐

#Also i literally had to type this 3 times because tumblr just like...crashed or something they love ed Sheeran i guess #Drug mention #Ask to tag

[officialkatie]

just putting a long vent under a read more (i hope)

i should have guessed that after a week of sleeping well (bc sick) i wouldn’t be able to sleep. also i hate my monday class. i have 10 left but god at what cost its completely unbearable and the professor is one of the reasons i dont want to teach anymore. how could you say to people going to school to be a teacher “youre gonna be so stressed and good luck bc it sucks”

i know i dont want to be a teacher anymore and im finishing my degree to get the job i DO want. but at the same time i dont want any job. i hate working. how do people do it. how has my high school italian teacher taught in the same place for 51 years and still going? how does he not feel defeated? i havent even started a Real Job yet and i hate it. i havent had a moments peace or a day without something looming over me since ever. since at least before covid. but then that added ANOTHER thing to loom over me that will never go away.

i hate that i have to have a checklist in my mind of all the things i have to do before i graduate. it should be easy!

-finish classes

-student teach

-get certification

but its NOT that easy. bc in order to finish classes thats this semester. thats 10 more sucky mondays with an awful professor in which i also have to observe 15 hours at a school (on top of the 100 required hours i already did, im not currently in a school and i didnt know about this and we were all so pissed and just another reason i hate this professor), 1 more week of incredibly intensive classes which GREAT! more time for the stinky class. 9 more tuesdays bc the schedule is so weird, all while working part time and doing homework and figuring out student teaching and having personal responsibilities and a relationship and maintaining my health. its no wonder im sick. then once the semester is over its work work work. bc i cant work while i student teach. no break for katie. i have to focus on holidays and pretending to care about people who cant even remember my birthday. its not that hard to remember. i remember all of yours so whats up with that. then i go to orientation for student teaching and then i do it. i dont know where yet! bc i have to email the man who’s been screwing me over every step of the way (another thing for the to do list). and once a week while i student teach i go to a seminar class. a new update to the academic schedule means my class could end at 10:40 pm. who does that. i live an hour away from campus. if my class ends at 10:40 im going to fail. then i do that for “75” days (in quotes bc there’s not even 75 school days in the spring semester yet thats my requirement?) and then i graduate. should be easy peasy. then i go to the real word and back to my part time job while i look for real job so i can move out and live with the one person who gets me and doesnt make me feel bad for living. and we’re gonna have a great life together but thats another to do list. find an apartment find a job move pay rent pay utilities try not to kill yourself make friends even though you’re socially inept ever since leaving college and your social life is in shambles. eat healthy.

im literally a mess and im so congested and i hate not sleeping and this is just making it worse. i have james taylor in my head and my stomach hurts so bad bc i ate like shit today. i wish i could turn off my brain and i tried using headspace app and thats another thing. i updated my student status and they sent me a confirmation. yet charged me for full price. and you cant even unsubscribe yourself. you need to email someone and so i did and they sent me back “we got ur email! sorry we’re taking so long:(((“ and charged me with a full smile on their stupid faces. if i can figure out how to rip from that app you bet your asses i will

i really need a break.

i feel so bad getting this degree and its not bc im wasting my own money. my parents are paying and they’re so supportive and dont care that id rather do something education-adjacent and my boss at my part time job says she’d be so happy to have me while i figure my shit out after graduation. all i have to do is drag my lifeless body across the stage at graduation. i have a part time job after that and i wont be tackling things alone after that. i have good references and im qualified for the job i want. all i have to do is get there but its SO HARD and i can’t stop thinking about how much its going to take to get me there. its like looking at a number line. sure YOU see the whole number integers but to me there’s a universe in between 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5. im trying so hard to not get caught up in those universes but man does that take brain capacity i do not possess.

if i have to work forever into an endless oblivion im going to hit myself in the face with a brick. i love having days off and going to museums and walking through the park and going around to coffee shops and record stores and just enjoying life. if my quality of life enjoyment is diminishing NOW what will it be like when i have to go to work every day instead of having off two days a week for school and to catch up on life?? am i doomed to be boring and hate life?? how can i live if i cant LIVE? (2 am drama,everyone.) the thought of taking “personal days” seems like hell to me. i just dont want to work on a schedule like that. i can give 10000% at work its been seen its been done but i control the schedule right now. take that away and it’s over

at least my dog barking at 2 am did not wake me up. i am already up sir and i feel like my butt is on fire. and my legs are so restless.

and another thing? he’s barking bc my sister is coming home. ever since she moved back home things are worse for me. she’s so messy and i am so not and it really gets under my skin and overwhelms me. and she is inconsiderate of other people and takes my stuff. why do i have to parent my older sister. doesnt she know she’s building up my resentment for her. i dont want to spend time with her and my mom looooves to guilt me about it bc of her relationship with her sister. but then she and my dad go and mumble under their breath about how they cant wait for her to finish her masters thesis (not gonna happen,im gonna graduate with my masters before her and she’s two years older than me and has been working on thesis for 3+ years now) and leave bc she’s turning our house into a trainwreck. why cant she just live with her boyfriend who is (to me) deadbeat. nice guy but like i dont even know what his job is? is there one? (also not fair to him bc the standards for partners in my family have been set verrry high: see above future roommate. he is universally adored while sister bf? jury is still out. also i maintain that my sister is a homewrecker. i guess both figuratively and literally at this point.)

anyways my tumblr is getting laggy so i guess thats my sign to end this. im sure that i will not sleep.

#katie’s journal

[pillybaxto]

Abit of a crisis

Hello, its 9 Jan 23. haha I am having some kind of crisis now. Where to begin .. Ok, so I went for ceramics class over the weekend and the teacher's backstory was really inspiring. Basically she was born into a family of potters and she has been doing pottery for like 20 to 30 years now. even went for a degree and all. and went into graphic design etc. and thats how she started her brand and now into teaching as well. so if i start my craft now, i can be her in 10 years time. technically i have pillybaxtoodles - but i dont know what to do with it. lol! its still more of a hobby. and i feel i can do more with it. i think like whoever said, i need to find my style and work on it.

second of all, I realise that im saving too little. Lol. Apparently you should have saved 3 times your annual salary excl. CPF. I am wayyy below. And to be honest, I have been making use of last year and splurge like crazy. I am the grasshopper who sang all summer. the problem is i find it hard to quit grabbing to work - so used to it and it allows me more time to sleep and all. lol. but i realise if i dun grab to work, i can save ALOT of money because grab is really blood suckingly expensive.

third of all, I feel that my house and wedding dust have finally settled and I am ready to have children. But now, my health is kinda like shit. My weight is really high - highest yet. And just started new job lol. Lol. I feel all these could go away if i had discipline.

the discipline to sleep earlier, so I can wake up early to avoid grabbing to work. Which lets me save money and get my health into shape. Discipline to not watch so much tv so I can exercise and sleep early and not snack. Discipline to not buy ock or unhealthy food that will ruin my life.

come on shirley, get your shit togther. Lol. After being sick with cough, sore throat and runny nose for the last 3 weeks, I really want to get my health back up. So yea, I will. But knowing me, it will be a 3 minute thing where I will just be bored and go back to my own ways

I think its ok. Lets just do this one step at a time. Need to find a way to be more accountable .. But snacking and nua-ing is so shiok.

[benderclub]

day 41 of highschool

mandarin was neato, my old teacher may be coming to our class so thats fun

during lunch i talked about abed, i dont remember the context though

during pride was the first law and debate club meeting. wyatt was there, i didnt know anyone else though

bio teach was back, learnin all about cells and shit (makes literally no sense to me)

health makes me want to violently slam my head against the desk

we literally did jackall in theatre i did homework the whole time

i had tech crew after school so i moved shit around

i listened to music and waited outisde for my uncle while reading a comic book and it was very nice

i called my ma to see if she had any information about what the fuck homecoming is, and she gave me the basics

thats pretty much it

goodnight tri state area

#benderclub year 1 #benderclub.txt

[ace-with--a-mace]

im just so tired man :/

#nobody would care they'd get over it in less than a couple days #idek atp #everything is goin downhill #dressing decent so if i spontaneously alivent ill be nicely dressed for whatever happens when you d!e #sjsjskask thats a joke im sitting in pajamas crying over things im overreacting about lol #dont know what defines mommy issues but i think your mother telling you that you being genuinely sick because (even tho shes a nurse)- #-she decided to have a group of people go out for her birthday n everyone got sick for a couple days but you had it worse cuz you've always- #-had health problems that youre overreacting and if you end up w covid and die nobody in the family will care because youre selfish- #-and a burden counts #the relationship i have w my parents is... very complicated #i can never please her or do anything right w her #i cant have any opinions w both of them too like #i told them about how my teachers are actively deleting my homework submissions and dont read my emails so i get tons of 'missing work'- #-and they dont teach the online portion of the class; but its /my/ fault because im not 'paying attention hard enough' #and even with the bundles of 'missing work' im getting; i have to make sure my siblings finish all their work and if my sibs get bad grades- #-(B's or below) then its my fault and i get in trouble while my sibling gets little to no punishment #make it make sense #so yEah im spiraling in the dark trying to Aliven't but also not cuz thats selfish but its also not because based on my own mom's words: #i could end world hunger and find the cure to cancer but get punished for leaving a plate in my room and get told to 'be more like my young- #-er brother" because he 'washed the dishes' (he doesnt do jackshit i do everything but he gets the credit for existing #honestly the worst part is that the 'rents continue to belittle and insult and threaten me for the smallest fuck up in the other language- #we speak cuz they think i dont know how to speak it. like??? and if i leave so i dont breakdown i get in trouble for being disrespectful #lmao basically legally being able to move out is way too far and i cant take this bs anymore but im afraid of what happens after death so- #im contemplating whether or not i should od lol #tw od #tw suicide mention #tw suicide #oversharing in tags because i can #l speaks #shut up l

[scrivenger-grimgar]

im on a fucking ROLL today so im gonna scream some more!!

i guess this would be in the AACK Au, so search for #accidentally a criminal kokichi in my blog tags for context

kokichi actually subconciously uses his talent a lot, so he ends up in a lot of weird situations.

one of these occasions is his accidental founding of the #CHANT club at HPA. it stands for “No CisHets & NeuroTypicals” and it literally just starts from him being really wary of Kaito because he’s really obviously a cishet neurotypical manly-man and that is threatening.

tenko notices him avoiding kaito and is like “thats suspicious... that WEIRD.” so she confronts him about it in private and he’s actually rather honest about his answers, which confuses her, but she learns that he’s scared bc “cishet neurotypical vibes” and thats how she learns that kokichi is transmasc (born intersex) gay boy struggling with what she can identify as paranoia and intrusive thoughts and probably a lot of other undiagnosed things.

the others start to realize that tenko is treating kokichi a little different than before, calling him “rat boy” or “criminal” or “bastard” but not “degenerate male” anymore. gonta is the first one to figure out that kokichi told tenko about either the mental health stuff or the lgbt stuff, and just like, joins them for little hang outs. so its just a transmasc gay boy, a transfem lesbian, and a demi-panromantic ace boy hanging out together, and they’re all neurodivergent.

eventually himiko starts tagging along with tenko to hang out, and ryoma and rantaro are worried about where their boss has been dissapearing to, and they end up gaining a lathargic enby aro/ace, a depressed pan cat lover, and a depressed autistic lesbian demigirl witch.

the meeting go on for a few months, before nagito, chiaki, and izuru (who’s currently fronting) find them and are confused??? what are our underclassment doing???

for context, they are found sitting on the grass behind the school, skipping wednesday classes. rantaro is singing backstreet boys while weaving handmade metal bug ornaments into gonta’s hair as he writes his most recent thesis, muttering in spanish about a malaria outbreak in brazil. ryoma and himiko are guiding tenko through making her first d&d character, with kokichi contributing every now and then, but he’s more focused on painting numbers onto the resin dice he made for the group as a gift.

izuru just straight up walks over and sits down next to gonta, talking to him in english about the brazil malaria outbreak, while chiaki stands in shock for about two seconds, before taking over for ryoma to help kokichi with the dice sets; there are several jokes about dice that dont quite make sense, and kokichi complains about needing to make more die sets, before they settle into singing backstreet boys with rantaro.

nagito takes a spot next to rantaro, who’s done with gonta’s hair, and rantaro starts teaching him how to hand make wire jewelry, telling him everytime the wire breaks that “its fine, i can just melt it down later. nothing’s being wasted and your learning, you arent doing anything wrong.”

so they gain a forgetful manic gay demiboy with low selfworth, an insomniac gray-ro/ace gamer girl, and a system containing an autistic transmasc bisexual disaster analyst and an autistic pan enby emo who mimics talents.

they keep adding people to the group like this.

mikan, local lesbian nurse with severe social anxiety, & her gf ibuki, autistic adhd bisexual musician who struggles with volume control.

mahiru, feminist lesbian photographer mom, & her gf hiyoko, mean lesbian brat girl with poor communication skills.

mondo, gay biker boy with anger issues, & his bf kiyotaka, autistic gay sociology/gender studies major with OCD, plus they’re half adopted kid chihiro, genderfluid programmer with social anxiety.

#accidentally a criminal kokichi #oma kokichi #amami rantaro #chabashira tenko #gokuhara gonta #yumeno himiko #komaeda nagito #hinata hajime #kamukura izuru #nanami chiaki #tsumiki mikan #mioda ibuki #koizumi mahiru #saionji hiyoko #owada mondo #ishimaru kiyotaka #fujisaki chihiro #hoshi ryoma #momota kaito #the no cishet neurotypicals club #AACK #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa: killing harmony #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa au #dangan ronpa #super danganronpa goodbye despair #super danganronpa 2 #drv3 #sdr2

[flockofdoves]

i think a lot of why i struggle so much with essays (and really just composing and organizing any writing) is because there’s so many steps in between the basic steps other people can articulate it to be broken down into. and i recognize that everyones different and certain things come with practice but when people say ‘make an outline of your essay, heres the format for an outline, now just flesh that out and you’ll have your first draft!’ as if thats an easy first step i really really struggle.

there are soooo many steps that go into making an outline/any individual part of writing and its all so recursive. i’m sure with experience i’d get more of a sense of what works for me and how/when to shift between different modes that are needed for writing but i just really struggle in general with organizing my thoughts and formal writing feels like everything needs to be reverse engineered in a really painful way when i struggle with a lot of executive functions needed for it and when i also basically have no practice with writing successfully planned essays in all my time in school because of various circumstances (didnt complete almost any essays my junior/senior year of high school but passed bc teachers either let me pass with other skills i demonstrated in class or just passed me bc they saw i had gone through traumatic experiences that year lmao. then in college i didnt have to take a basic writing course bc i got a 5 on both my AP english tests and then i had health withdrawals/dropped out of almost every class with significant papers afterward) and now am being thrown into contexts where college and even graduate level writing is expected of me.

i hope that some day essay writing can be a skill i can utilize to better express myself in a lot of contexts, and i can imagine that the problem solving aspect of fitting together a cohesive argument or piece of writing and crafting sentences could be really satisfying to me in a similar way to other creative endeavors i enjoy, but right now the steps just overwhelm me and it makes me feel stupid when people helping me like my mom (who literally teaches writing intensive college courses) talk about things like theyve elaborated all the steps and its still not enough for me but i dont even know if it would be possible for other people to detail it to a finer point that i feel i need than they have already because the rest might just rely on how things work specifically for me.

but i also have to work at such a time limit meeting deadlines when theres so much else going on in my life as an independent working 22 year old so its scary feeling like i’ll ever be able to build up even adequate skills to not be constantly in this position and failing writing intensive classes the rest of the time i’m in school

idk. lmao idk if anyone will read this bc the fucking paragraphs here def exemplify part of the problem but if anyone has any advice or resources or commiseration or anything i’d really appreciate it

#cpost #at very least found out a new strategy using zotero and scrivener to have getting and organizing sources and quotes be more seamless.. #barely anything to do with actually Writing but at least i'm not wasting even more time focusing on that side of stuff now

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Could I possibly get a Katsuki x reader since you are taking BNHA asks? Just one where the reader gets hurt and tries to hide it cause she doesnt wanna make him worry. But he finds out and hes just #angryboi. With as much fluff as you can manage. Pretty please?

You knew as soon as you hit the wall, you were fucked. Your eyes screwed shut and you groaned, struggling to gather yourself before the cloud of dust cleared.

God everything hurt. It was throbbing all around you, like you were stuck in fog. No one would blame you if you forfeited the match. They might give you a little shit, but overall they'd understand. they all saw it.

However, Bakugou was watching your training match, you couldnt worry him, you couldn't make a fool of yourself. It wasn't an option right now. Not for you. You peeled yourself from the wall and ran foward, ignoring the sharp pain in your head and side. You yelled as your hand moved foward and rock surrounded your opponent.

The girls green hair grew and rushed towards you. Somehow you managed to dodge and before you knew it, by a hair, you had won the fight.

Your quirk wasn't really compatible with hers, it'd been hard. She was good. But sheer will took your side, you guessed.

Class 1A cheered for their champion as you left the ring.

You just needed to get to recovery girl and you'd be fine, nobody needed to know. Alas, you didnt make it far before you were dragged to the center of attention by uraraka.

And so the game began, pretend that there was no pain, keep your face from showing it.

She spoke casually, laughing as she normally would have, trying to avoid the stares her best friends and her boyfriend were giving her.

"You did so well! Took a hit too, are you okay?" Uraraka grinned, hugging you again.

"Hah- thank you! It was tough, she's stronger than she looks. I'm okay though, it wasn't too bad." You returned Uraraka's smile and high five Kamanari.

"Kirishima and Iida are the only ones who've beaten her so far."

"Well, 'shima and I have similar quirks. Only I control rocks and I've been hit with so many of them that it just doesnt hurt anymore. I dont harden."

"Do you think you'd be able to control Kirishima?"

You paused and looked at the red haired male. "I don't...I don't think so...?"

"You should try." Kamanari and Mina nodded.

"I don't think I want to do that-" You were interrupted by someone pulling your arm and leading your away from the group. You inwardly groaned at the harsh tug but didn't fight it. Next you were standing outside, looking at Katsuki.

"Hey," you smiled slightly.

"Hey." He replied, eyes still dark and glaring. "Theres something wrong, what is it."

"Nothing! Nothing, just tired."

"You're lying to me." He grumbled.

"I'm not!"

"Were you hurt?"

"No-"

"You were."

"I'm sorry.."

"Why'd you let yourself get dragged all over if you were hurt." He growled, taking your hand.

"I didn't want anyone else to see or worry. It's- It feels weird when they do...too much attention." You shook her head.

"Then you should've just left, ducked and kept walking." He mumbled, looking at you hand. His gaze slowly moved up your arm.

He didn't like the bruises starting to form.

"I couldn't just ignore them."

"You could've." He glared and moved his hands to your sides, using his thumbs to gently press against them. "Does that hurt?"

You winced. "Yeah, a little."

"Scale it."

"Five and a half."

"Thats more than a little." He grumbled. "What about your head? Does that hurt?"

"Yeah, actually. It does." Your left hand came up to hold the side of your head. It pounded. Not fun.

He grumbled something else and licked his thumb, bringing his hand up to wipe some dirt off your cheek. "Dumbass. When you get hurt, take care of yourself. Don't worry about worrying anyone. The only thing that matters is you and your health."

"I'm not a child, Katsu," you mumbled, puffing your cheeks out. Atsumu, hand fell to your side again. "Besides, awful hypocritical coming from you."

"Don't care what I do. I care about what you do." He took your hand again, leading you down the sidewalk. "Let's go."

"Recovery girl?"

"Yeah. Recovery girl."

"She's gonna yell at me," you whine. "I don't want her to yell at me."

"Don't care."

He just kept walking. You smiled slightly. He wasn't walking fast. He was walking at a pace he hoped would keep you from too much pain.

People thought he was an asshole, which, well he was. But, he was attentive and with the right people- his friends; he was caring in his own way.

"If heroing doesn't kill me, recovery girl will."

"She talks a lot of shit, but she cares. Sorta."

"More than sorta," you squeezed his hand. "Like you, she cares aggressively."

"Cares aggressively?" He deadpanned, his gaze flickering to you for a moment before returning to the path.

"Yeah." You clear your throat. You lowered your voice an octave, "Dumbass! Next time you get hurt- tell someone. Don't be an idiot and hide it. Then we can't help. That's you."

"Fuck /off/."

"I swear! You students are a mess. Dies your teacher do nothing to teach you? You're so self sacrificial- this is gonna hurt a little bit sweetheart- you need to be more careful instead of rushing in like a fool! That's recovery girl."

"Ha! That was horrible."

"I think you mean spot on." You smile. "It's okay to laugh, it was funny."

"I'll leave you here to go alone." He threatened.

"You won't, nice try though."

He rolled his eyes with a small smile. "Idiot."

"Thank you babe."

#bnha bakugo katsuki #mha katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine #Katsuki x reader #Bakugou x reader #Katsuki Bakugou x reader #Bakugou Katsuki x reader #My hero academia #My hero academia x reader #mha bakugou #bhna bakugou #bhna Katsuki

[thoi2020]

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

#good luck!!! #sorry for the unpunctuated typing this was long i cba <3 #anonymous #again this is just from my experience plus teachers' advice that i liked and saw worked #tw iit jee #lmk if u wanna know sth else? #hope this helps #long post