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ratwithhands · 1 month

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Hi, Viewer Discretion:

This AU is about a nonexistent fictional mental health condition. There is imagery of straitjackets and other restraints, as well as mention of discrimination based off of health conditions. If you are uncomfortable with this content then please feel free to click off and enjoy something else. Thank you.

Dressing Sketch

Uniform Sketches

League Party sketch

Sketch dump for Battle Addict! This art has been gathering dust for a few months 😭 only just remembered to post it here.

These sketches are from Ver. 3 of Battle Addict, aka Battle Addict Twins, where both of them get the HCCM diagnosis.

The base idea for Battle Addict is that while most people enjoy Pokémon battling, there comes a certain point where one's love/obsession for battle starts bleeding into the rest of their life and becoming detrimental to their everyday life. This is usually called Combative Mania (CM), which is present in a large part of the population (40%-60%) hence why battling is so popular and so many different forms of it are made to keep people satisfied. The extreme form is Hyper-Competitive Combative Mania (HCCM), wherein a person spends so much time and energy for battles that it starts to affect their physical/mental health as well as their social life, since they neglect them in favour of their obsession.

Often what divides CM patients from HCCM patients is what they're willing to give up for battling and the extent of their knowledge regarding battles. CM patients usually only have a casual interest in battling or just enjoy the thrill of battling, but operate normally and have other interests outside of battle. They have basic to intermediate knowledge of battling, and can often partake in research or battles.

HCCM patients will often forgo food, water, sleep, school, work, and relationships in favour of researching and competing in battles. It is the only thing they find interest in and they devote most of their time towards it. Patients often memorize entire charts of statistics and different strategies and counterstrategies for battle, with different patients often having a certain subject they specialize in. Most patients with HCCM are unaware that they have it, they either assume that they have CM or that they are completely normal and just enjoy Pokémon battles. They often go into fields that work directly with researching Pokémon or battles, such as professors, scientists, gym leaders, elite four members, league workers, battle facility operators, and so on.

Ingo and Emmet do not know they have HCCM. They engage with battle and researching battle in a way that they think is typical for a hobbyist. Ingo tends to read on academic papers, textbooks, and study guides regarding the statistics and capabilities of Pokémon, whereas Emmet takes a more hands-on approach in studying Pokémon anatomy and battle strategy. Ingo often charts and studies natures, EVs, IVs, stat spreads, abilities, moves, and their properties. Emmet sketches anatomical diagrams and studies of Pokémon, including skeletal structure, musculature, organ systems, and physical appearance, highlighting pressure points in the body for executing the most damage and for keeping his own Pokémon protected. He also tends to read into psychological studies as well as conducting his own long term tests to predict a person's strategy in different situations. The two feed into each other's interests, teaching the other of their own discoveries and celebrating breakthroughs together. As a result, their total knowledge of battling is immense, which led to them becoming Subway Bosses straight out of college.

The two lived and worked fairly normally; they were very passionate about their work and it provided a way to sate their need for fighting on a regular basis, as well as giving them the space to experiment with different fighting styles and analyze others' strategies. Of course they still continue their studying outside of work, which often leads to them trying different methods or revisiting recorded battles to see how they could improve. The twins still believe their hours long discussions, piles of notes, and stacks of study materials littered around their house are perfectly fine, only stopping to reconsider after a comment from a coworker highlights how they must be crazy or incredibly disciplined to have as huge of a win : loss ratio as they do.

They end up taking the issue to a psychiatrist after dwelling on the idea for a few days, which is where they get diagnosed after a few tests and a description of their lifestyle and interests. Their case is considered moderate but could easily escalate into severe if left unchecked, though the main concern is whether this would make them a threat to other people due to their work and prominence. Obviously they don't want to lose their jobs, but this kind of thing could get them removed from the League Council if it got out, so they have to consider whether they share this information with their employers or not. Ingo thinks it'd be best to keep it under wraps, but Emmet fears that this could be used as blackmail and argues that they need to release this information themselves before someone else ruins their lives with it. Eventually they do take the diagnosis to the League Council and it gets out to the public.

Emmet takes the fall for Ingo, claiming his case is severe whereas Ingo's is mild so that the League Council will be more distracted with him to bother Ingo. That ends up with Emmet getting a new restraining uniform because the League no longer trusts him to handle himself in public based off his diagnosis. Neither of them are particularly pleased about this, but Emmet tells Ingo to look on the bright side. Emmet actually starts to find the jacket to be more of a little challenge than a hindrance, as it adds an extra level of difficulty to battles that he's been looking for, but Ingo still thinks it would be better if he hadn't had to wear it at all. This unfortunately extends to League parties where he has to be restrained to even be allowed entry, which he is much less happy about.

This post is getting ungodly long as it is but there's also a branch off of this concept where Ingo and Emmet land in Hisui together and Emmet's uniform looks like this. He deconstructed the uniform he was given to modify his jacket since by that point he had a bit of a sentimental connection to it and didn't want to just swap it out.

(Bonus fun fact: Ingo and Emmet decided to pull the biggest gag on the Pearl Clan when they first land by pretending to be one person under the alias Eki. Ingo is the polite one in the dark coat by day, and Emmet is the energetic one in the white coat by night. "Day Eki" is more popular with other Wardens and older clan members, whereas "Night Eki" is more popular with the village children and insomniacs.

The whole Warden Eki concept is technically its own AU in the background but it did originate from Battle Addict. Also I already drew Emmet in the Pearl Strait I can't take that back)

Anyways uhhh there's more let me see if I can condense it:

The twins went to a University specifically focused on battle (Champion's University), where they ended up studying subjects in their specific interests. Emmet took psychology of battle and Pokémon anatomy to learn about the weak points in trainers and Pokémon, and Ingo took general statistics and study of moves which are exactly what they sound like

The twins use the Vs Recorder all the time, both to track their own progress and to observe how passengers fight. It's often stuck to the glass windows to catch the Pokémon in the middle of the car, though they have considered buying Rotom Drones expressly for this purpose

Emmet actually has a stack of different studies on weak points in the human body but he doesn't share that with anyone, not even Ingo

Emmet's study of trainer psych has led to him often predicting tactics before they happen and dodging/countering them with his Pokémon. He often challenges himself to predict a person's team, moveset, and strategy based on appearance, gait, and body language, sharing his guesses with Ingo in case he makes any useful observations

Ingo and Emmet are possibly the first instance of causing "learned HCCM" in their Pokémon because after the training that they do together, the Pokémon have developed their own independent bloodlust and have started memorizing the move strategies that the twins have them use

Sometimes to celebrate fully completing a study on a particular set of Pokémon, the twins will eat one. This is mostly as a treat and an inside joke, but they will research what's in season/allowed and go hunt for one. Ingo is usually the one to catch it, and Emmet is the one to cook it. There's some really goofy shitposts about them going after pseudo-legendaries overseas, or Palkia's leg in Hisui

The twins can perform full medical care on any Pokémon and can often grind for hours nonstop since they can heal their teams themselves. They also save a lot on healing items this way

After releasing their diagnosis, the perception of the twins have gone in wildly different directions. Some people treat them as subhuman or as monsters, some people don't care, some people call them psycho yandere boys on twitter. Emmet tends to get more of the negative connotations, Ingo tends to get the more "positive" ones. Emmet also tends to get a lot of stares due to his restraint and status as a crazed fighter, which he pretends doesn't get to him

I think that's everything, I'm going to go collapse. Hope you guys enjoy 👍

#tw straitjacket #straitjacket #tw mental health #tw mental illness #submas #submas au #au #ingo #subway master ingo #ingo pokemon #nobori #emmet #subway master emmet #emmet pokemon #kudari #Version 1 is Emmet being absolutely deranged and Ingo getting him locked in the psych ward out of fear for his reputation and #Version 2 is Ingo being crazy and throwing Emmet under the bus when he almost gets discovered #for those who were wondering. Version 3 is best because they get to be obsessed and they drag each other further in together ♥#honestly this probably outranks Severed for my riskiest AU so I wonder how this is gonna turn out #hope this won't be the end of my career #anyways fun fact: this song is inspired by an old submas song!#Maniac Man led to me making the first version‚ then eventually I kept sketching until we got here #oh I just remembered‚ there's one scene from this AU that I think would be really funny to draw #The subway gets an overcrowding warning one day because they're holding a special event and passengers keep coming in while the twins are o #they were STARVED for battles that day though‚ so they call a Code Indigo and essentially turn the Multi lines into a 2 on 6 to get through #more passengers faster. They were absolutely exhausted by the end but damn if they didn't have fun messing around with the passengers

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cerise-on-top · 17 days

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Could you make a cute alphabet for Valeria?

Hey! Sure!

Fluff Alphabet for Valeria

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

While Valeria does love going shopping with you above most things, she’d actually love nothing more than to go stargazing with you. Although she has no idea why, she actually really likes looking at the stars and knows a few stories behind some of the constellations as well. Not very many, but she can tell you a few. She isn’t even that into space, but something about looking at the endless universe and realizing its beauty just gets to her. Loves doing that with you whenever she can.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She loves the fact that you speak your mind whenever you feel like it. Valeria doesn’t particularly like guessing games and the uncertainties that come with them, she’d much rather have all the information she can get from the get go. So you telling her what you think without sugarcoating everything is a nice change of pace since everyone else usually hides things from her to get on her good side. You’re honest, sometimes even blunt, and she can truly appreciate that.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

If someone hurt you, then she’d go after them and teach them a lesson. A not very kind and gentle one, mind you. Anyone who makes you feel bad deserves to freeze in the ninth circle of hell, being chewed on by the devil himself. However, if you’re feeling sad for no apparent reason, then she’ll try to distract you by taking you on a shopping spree or getting you your favorite food. She’s not at all good at comforting people, but she tries. If you have a panic attack she’d try the same thing, except she’d speak a bit more softly with you than before.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Somewhere in a nice mansion, with a few trustworthy maids, where everything manages itself, she’d share her empire with you. On the one hand she doesn’t want you involved in the slightest in all of it, but on the other hand she sort of wants you to become as successful as she is in her business. She’d love to rule over the cartel with you, she’d love for you to be as cunning as she is. However, she knows that likely won’t ever happen, largely because she’s just that careful, but she can dream about it.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Valeria is dominance personified. Sure, you can make some suggestions and she’s more inclined to listen to you than someone else, but she wears the pants and it’s blatantly obvious in your relationship. Whatever she says goes, even if you can get into fights because of that. If she tells you to hide, you will. If she tells you to not tell a single soul about your relationship, you won’t. Although she may not always know everything, she usually knows what’s best and what she’s doing. She wants the both of you to be safe.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

I don’t think she’d forgive easily, not even you. She can be a very petty woman, even with you. While I don’t think she’ll let it out on you as much, she would definitely yell at you when she’s angry enough. Sure, she’ll try to be more on the rational side with you, but her anger gets the better of her and she’ll raise her voice at you. If you start crying then she’ll calm down a bit and forgive you more easily, in fact she might try to yell a bit less as well. However, it takes a proper apology from you for her to forgive you.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

It may not seem like she’s all that grateful to have you around, but she is thankful for you. She doesn’t have a lot of time for you, she sometimes gets hurt for one reason or another and doesn’t always tell you, when she’s home she doesn’t always take care of the chores. However, she’s truly grateful for you to care for her as much as you do, she doesn’t take it for granted. She does try to spend time with you whenever she can, she tries not to worry you with her injuries when she has some, she does try to do the chores but she’s usually too tired to do them once she’s home. However, she’ll try to show her gratitude by buying you expensive things. Again, she’s not good at being affectionate.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yes, there are plenty of things she doesn’t tell you about. She doesn’t particularly like talking about her past all that much, even if it wasn’t all that traumatic either. Unless you somehow know about her having been part of the Mexican army, she won’t mention that either, having had too many regrets there to properly enjoy talking about it. If you ask her about her past then she’ll give you a cocky grin and tell you to figure it out on your own if you want to know about it so badly. Valeria may love you, but you really don’t need to know everything about her, some things are better swept under the rug.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Valeria may have become a somewhat more kind and patient person once she’s been with you for a while. She’s a businesswoman, so she knows how to deal with ne’er-do-wells. However, if you ask her to spare someone’s life, if you tell her to not be as mad at her people for messing up, then she might listen to you. You’d be the only reason some people are still alive at that point. Sometimes she’d remember what you said and might become a bit nicer. It doesn’t happen very often, she has a business to run, but it happens.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Valeria is a very jealous person. Someone talking to you for too long, you talking about someone in a more adoring tone than you should, someone being too friendly with you, it all pisses her off. Especially if that person makes you uncomfortable. She’ll get pissy and cranky, she’ll tell that dumb bastard to fuck off and leave you alone. She won’t claim you as hers in public, she won’t sling her arm around you or anything, but she will glare at anyone too close to you. Also not afraid of telling you how ticked off she actually is. Give her a lot of attention and she’ll calm down again.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yes, Valeria is a very good kisser. Back when she was still single, women would actually flock to her just to feel her tender touch and kisses, that would leave anyone breathless. She knows what she’s doing and she does it so incredibly well, she’ll always leave you yearning for more of her. I think your first kiss was her pinning you against the wall and just going for it, after she made sure you liked her as well. She loves feeling like the bigger person and flustering you whenever she can.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It would be such an expensive, elaborate thing. You’ll be going to the most expensive restaurant, you’ll be going to see a musical or an opera and then she’ll buy you a nice gift. Basically anything to please you and court you in her own way. She has too much money anyway, so why not spend it on you when she can? Afterwards, ever so confident, she’ll tell you that she likes you in a romantic manner. While she may be a bit nervous about your reaction, she tries not to seem too anxious about it all. She can usually play it off well enough.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, she sort of does want to get married, on the other hand, she really doesn’t. Does she really want that sort of commitment to someone for the rest of her life? The thought scares her. Besides, she wants to keep you safe as well, so she can’t really afford to marry you as she is. Just being partners is enough for her, in all honesty. She leans towards not wanting to marry you, but her situation could change at any point in time and she might want to someday.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Cariño/a or querido/a, she really doesn’t like going for anything more fancy or romantic. She’s not a verbally affectionate person in the first place. And even then, she usually just calls you that when she’s drunk. She’s more affectionate when drunk anyway, but her Spaniglish is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t speak both languages.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

She tries courting you immediately as soon as she’s figured out she’s in love with you. Lots of gifts, tries to spend more time with you. Hell, she might just send you some money just because she can as well, especially if you need some. It’s not too obvious she’s in love, it only seems like she’s playing favorites, which she definitely is. She expresses her feelings by taking you on lots of coffee dates and just talking to you. If you’re very close then she’ll invite you to her home as well.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

She keeps your relationship a secret from the world. She’s a very dangerous woman, she could have anyone killed within days. However, she could, in turn, also be killed at any point in time. The same goes for you if anyone were to ever find out about the both of you. She really doesn’t brag about you, she doesn’t like PDA either and will actively advise you against being affectionate with her in public. All of that stuff stays behind closed doors.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

If you’re ever afraid to talk to someone, she’s got you. You want to change your order? You wanna make a new friend? You wanna compliment that stranger on their cool shirt? Valeria can easily do all of that and more for you. She talks to many people on the daily anyway, among them lots of strangers. She’s not afraid of talking to people, quite the opposite, she’s very good at talking to them. She may be blunt like barely anyone else, but she’s got a certain charm and charisma as well to her. If you’re on her good side, then chances are you’re settled for life.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

She’s not very romantic. Sure, she’ll cuddle with you on the couch when she has the time and watch a movie with you, but she won’t call you any embarrassing nicknames and dance in the rain with you. She’s far too practical for that. In fact, she doesn’t really like most romantic gestures in the first place. She’s not averse to them, but if she doesn’t have to hug you from behind then she won’t complain about it either. She loves you, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not a romantic at heart.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Valeria supports you, I can tell you that much. She has enough money to buy the world if she wanted to, so she can buy you just about anything you may want or need. You wanna learn how to drive? Here’s a Porsche. You wanna become a world renowned chef? Tell her what ingredients you need and they’ll be delivered to your door the next day. She may not have the most encouraging words for you, but she tries to help you in a way that doesn’t feel awkward to her either. She tries really hard for you, even if she may not always succeed at it.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

She doesn’t particularly need anything new all the time. Sure, sometimes she’d like to go to a new country with you, if she has the time, but she doesn’t get that urge very often. She really does prefer doing the same things with you over and over again when she can. However, that’s a rarity in and of itself since she’s not at home very often, so she doesn’t get to see you a lot either. That’s probably the reason why she prefers having a routine in the first place, she doesn’t always have one at work.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She probably knows you very well. She’s a very observant woman, so she can tell when you’re upset, when you’re happy or when you need something from her, for example. However, she’s not an empathetic person at all. She really can’t feel what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t bother her either. Empathy would just get in her way at work, so she really prefers it that way. That way she can judge situations more objectively as well. She’s not a very emotional person, except when she’s angry.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

The relationship is pretty important to her, but I don’t think she’d want to give up her cartel for you. As mentioned before, she’s not a very romantic person. She values her status as El Sin Nombre a lot and wants to be respected by everyone. She worked hard to get where she wants to be and she really doesn’t wanna give all of that up. Sure, she values you more than many other people, but she won’t give up her job for you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Every year she looks forward to going to a Christmas market with you. If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t celebrate that holiday in the first place, but she does like going to a Christmas market, taking in all the colors, drinking some hot beverages and maybe going on a ferris wheel with you as well. Even if you really don’t wanna go, she’ll drag you there at least once a year. Naturally, she’ll be the one to pay for everything, but she will feel a lot of sentiment if you pay for her this time around.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She’s not a very affectionate person. She may praise you for a task well done, but she won’t be overly romantic with you. She sometimes likes kissing and cuddling, usually she doesn’t mind it, and sometimes she absolutely abhors any and all physical affection. Naturally, she’ll tell you how she feels that day. She much prefers to show her affections through spending time with you at a cafe and talking to you and giving you gifts over cuddling in bed all day. It’s truly rare for Valeria to initiate any sort of physical affection. Except when she’s drunk, she’s more inclined to cuddle then.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

She usually just calls you when she can, no need to beat around the bush too much. She doesn’t keep a picture of you on her out of fear of something happening to you, so her options are limited. Sometimes she thinks about the things she’d like to do with you once she finally gets back to you again. However, she’s usually too busy to miss you too much anyway. Tries to get back to you as soon as possible, though.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Valeria would kill and torture for you. She breaks the law on the regular anyway, but for you she’d break every law at once. If you’ve been together for a very long time, then she’ll take a literal bullet for you as well. It’s not often someone gets that sort of privilege, so you should feel really honored. She’d have some of her men killed just to make sure you get to smile again. You’re more important than them anyway. So yeah, Valeria would go to great lengths just to make you happy.

#cod #cod x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #I am not taking any more of these in their entirety and that's final #I'm gonna put my foot down this time #also ya boi passed their first theoretical exam today and I am very happy about that 🎉#now it's only the proper theoretical exam and the practical one as well and I'll finally have that driver's license!!#I got 100% and 92% today so I did really well too :3 #now I finally don't have to study as much anymore and can devote my time to other things such as writing #however I won't have time to write tomorrow since I'll be at my country house with my parents and we'll be grilling there!#there's so much I need to do these days: write for my blog. write a letter every day. journal #I do a lot of writing these days and it's kind of exhausting actually #but hey at least there's very little to do at work so I can usually do as I please there for now #however it's extremely boring as well unfortunately #well it's only for this month afterwards I'll be swarmed with work again #not sure if that's much better actually

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crest-of-gautier · 9 months

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THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE !!! RYOMINA IN SPLATOON 3!! the ryomina of splatona 3!!! fuck yeah!!! love wins!!!

#splatoon 3 #lizz.jpg #lizz.gif #YEAHHHH YEHAHHH YEAHHH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOWLONG THIS TOOK #'how hard is it to take pictures in splatoon' ? not that hard but when you're trying to get ryomina and souyo to show up at the same time #it is VERY HARD #we had to reload manta maria pb over and over to get them to show up next to each other orz i feel so insane for this #that was actually kinda exhausting LOL #thank you silk for taking these pictures for me! i appreciate it. none of these were by me LOL

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not-your-bro · 8 months

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THE WITCHER 3: BLOOD & WINE ribbon ending vs. prison ending

#something something the way theyre always trying to protect/take the fall for each other #regis being like this from jump vs. geralt unexpectedly getting regis back & being newly determined not to let any harm come to him #feeling very normal about it #anyway sorry if this has been done i didnt do an exhaustive search #i just had a pre-ribbon save and i'm off work this week so naturally i'm spending my time unwisely lmfao #the witcher #the witcher 3 #tw3 #geralt of rivia #emiel regis #blood and wine #geregis #geralt x regis #witcheredit #tw3edit #my gifs

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ryonello · 11 months

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valorant catgirls on the brain again .... fade this time :3

#fade #valorant #hazal eyletmez #sorry for no art for a while ! i have been um . going thru it #this month has been the worst for a long time i am having a lot of SHit Happen ALL AT ONCE but i keep trucking #🥺👍#my car kaboomed . and i need to buy a new one . and everything costs so much #+other financial shit happening BUT ITS FINE BC I HAVE A BUNCH OF CONS NEXT MONTH #i am goign to be exhausted but i am going to be okay . staying strong staying positive crying a lot but thats fine it is like that sometimes #hope life is treating yall better than me rn <3 #sorry for spontaneous vent in tags on unrelated art oops #anyway ! :D #i will be at adelaide ozcc next weekend / melbozcc the following weekend / sydnova the weekend after that !#ALSO super lookign forward to smash and avcon in july !!!! will have new merch for them if they arrive in time :]#but yes . back to binging totk to cope :] maybe new link art when i have free time again i love him so fuckign much its insane #mwah #my art

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amethystina · 24 days

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Darkness and Light

Fandom/Pairing: The Devil Judge - Gahan

Length: A collection of shorter ficlets, more will be added as I write them

Rating/Warnings: Ratings and warnings will be stated in the author's notes of each chapter

Summary: This is a collection of shorter Gahan ficlets, unrelated to my other fics unless stated otherwise.

Each chapter is a separate story of varying lengths.

Enjoy, my darlings! 💜

GO HERE TO READ

#The Devil Judge #Kang Yo Han #Kim Ga On #Gahan #The Devil Judge Fanfic #Darkness and Light #My Fanfics #Amethystina Writes #Not me talking about a new fic but then suddenly posting a completely different one #That I just pulled out of nowhere #In my defence #It's only 3 600 words #And I DID finish the UNGODLY long sex scene in the other fic #But was too exhausted to want to edit it right away #So I ended up writing this instead #So yeah #Surprise?

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reanimatestar · 8 months

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non-exhaustive list of top x things on itch.io that fuck severely

#omens #all of these are free and most of these are playable in browser <3 #arranged in alphabetical order. i felt that it would be unfair to rank them because they're so different from each other but i wanted to #arbitrarily sort them. <3 #most of them have content warnings i think but if they don't you can ask me <3 #i say non-exhaustive because i've only included projects that are finished on here. if i added projects that are in progress it would just #be endless i feel.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 3 months

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The way I get into horror is drawing something I'm really scared of. (Like the fear of spiders or clowns) I feel like if you turn your fear into art it doesn't seem so scary anymore....and since have the fear of the one ocean half of my drawings are based around water it helps somewhat to get into the horror mindset. (To me anyway!)

i would Love to do that, however my fear of spiders is like. they scare me to the point of tears <3 i Cannot look at them much less draw them <3

#because this is good advice! and i try!#but the only other things that actually scare me are like... things ive never drawn #so its Exhausting to have to learn an entire new thing yk?#and also my brain is tired in a way where the creativity is so fuckin low </3 #thinking of Anything takes concentration that i often lack #also im... not really scared by a lot? not Genuinely?#i go out alone into the pitch black woods at night to stargaze. like. lmao #the only thing i have a genuine fear of is spiders!#rambles from the bog #i mean... bogs creep me out. and i guess im scared of drowning. especially drowning in a bog.#but. eh.

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dwtdog · 1 month

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he gets the same grace to express losing his friend and to support shelby, after that his opinions mean nothing to me

totally fair! and i feel the same

i do think though, that when things are over, we do need to remember to be better than drantis. obviously we have a million and half reasons to dislike a lot of ccs now, but if we all we ever talk about is who we hate and the terrible things they're doing, we're going to drive ourselves crazy and we'll all end up miserable

#cq.asks #not targeted at u anon dw <3 #it's just something that worries me a little bit with so many twitter users coming over #part of what made dttwt suck so much was that so much of their posting was just about antis and ccs they disliked #and it was fucking exhausting to be around #and agian just want to reiterate #having conversations about what other ccs like tommy are doing is chill and necessary even #we just need to not drag out it 🙏#ok that was my psa thank you for reading xoxo

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thedreadvampy · 5 months

Text

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment.#we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious.#like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe.#but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats)#and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills.#we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home!#and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

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