#anyway sorry if this has been done i didnt do an exhaustive search

[not-your-bro]

THE WITCHER 3: BLOOD & WINE ribbon ending vs. prison ending

#something something the way theyre always trying to protect/take the fall for each other #regis being like this from jump vs. geralt unexpectedly getting regis back & being newly determined not to let any harm come to him #feeling very normal about it #anyway sorry if this has been done i didnt do an exhaustive search #i just had a pre-ribbon save and i'm off work this week so naturally i'm spending my time unwisely lmfao #the witcher #the witcher 3 #tw3 #geralt of rivia #emiel regis #blood and wine #geregis #geralt x regis #witcheredit #tw3edit #my gifs

[thechangeling]

Out of our heads Out of our minds

So evil writer brain decided to cook up and incredibly toxic kitty fic because apparently I'm a terrible person lol. Blame @ilikebooks8 for letting this see the light of day.

The title is based on the song Out of this world by Bush.

Cw: slightly nsfw, violence, cheating, incredibly toxic behavior, beloved characters making bad choices, and implied sex.

Kit returns.

He returns to Ty with the same dazzling smile and charming witt, only now he seems to have grown even more impossibly beautiful as time has passed.

Now he's all hard lines and defined muscles and piercing sinful blue eyes that make Ty so angry he could scream.

Kit laughs and Ty wants to tear his insides out. Wants to rip Kit's heart right out if his chest just like he did to Ty. The painful gnawing rage of a betrayal that still stings after all this time. And yet still, Ty heard Kit was in danger and he came running like a man obsessed.

Ty knows deep down now matter how angry he is, he could never let anything happen to Kit. Nothing permanent anyways. Sometimes when the ache becomes to difficult to bare, Ty imagines punching that stupid smirk right off of his face. Or choking him hard enough to leave bruises. Of course Ty would never actually do such a thing. The sight of Kit in pain, any sort of pain is just too unbearable.

And that's the worst part. No matter how angry Ty gets he knows it can't last. And no matter how painful it is to be near Kit again, he still feels this unexplainable pull. This whispering in his ear to get closer and closer. To reach out and touch.

But it's stupid, and it's wrong anyways because Ty already has someone. Anush who was by his side the whole time at the scholomance and has never betrayed him. Anush who is sweet and thoughtful and gorgeous. Ty should be happy. After all, wasn't this what he always wanted? Someone to be there for him?

So he tried to distract himself from Kit by throwing himself into spending time with Anush and working the case. That's all Kit was now, just the latest problem to solve. A supernatural disaster. They would save him and stop the oncoming war and everything would be fine.

And then Kit would be gone. Blind panic teared at Ty's insides at the thought. There were these moments with Kit where they would make eye contact, or they would bump into each other in the kitchen and their fingers would brush and Ty would just desperately want to wrap Kit in his arms again.

He wanted to ask if Kit had really meant what he said that day on the beach. Sometimes when Kit stared at him with that soft sad smile on his face Ty wondered if they were going through similar things. Sometimes Ty wanted to tell him that he wished he had never met Kit either.

Kit Herondale was dangerous and unpredictable and loving him was like holding a live wire. But funnily enough the same could probably be said about Ty. Especially lately.

He felt like he was constantly in pain. Like his body ached with invisible wounds that made it impossible to breathe. The world was brutal and unforgiving, berating him with constant noise and blinding lights jabbing hot pokers into his brain. And the people with their sickly sweet smiles as they demanded he bare his soul.

But what if there was nothing left anymore? What if his soul had died with Livvy? Ty tried to cling onto the things that made him feel better. He hid away in his favorite spot, listening to his favorite music and pouring over Sherlock. Repeating the words to himself over and over again like they could pull him out of this tailspin. Ty distracted himself with Anush's sweet kisses and wandering hands as he tried to turn his brain off for once in his life.

But his soul was screaming out for another person to be the one touching him. He wanted Kit and that was infuriating. It made no logical sense. Not only was Kit responsible for breaking his heart but he also was notorious for playing fast and loose with his own life. Ty couldn't spend all his time constantly feeling like his heart was living outside of his body. Constantly in danger of being ripped open by some dark and evil thing.

Ty had everything he thought he wanted. But it still wasnt enough.

During another sleepless night, Ty found himself wandering the institutes halls. At this point he was simply just overtired. Too many nights spent worrying or studying or reading instead of sleeping. Now his body doesn't remember how to rest. Ty was far too exhausted to operate on logic or reason so he found himself standing outside of Kit's door, wondering absentmindedly how he got there.

Ty placed his hand against the door, fighting the urge to open it and walk through. He can remember the first time he waited outside of Kit's door, just like it was yesterday. He had no idea at the time why he was so drawn to the mysterious boy who had shown up at the institute after Ty had threatened him with a knife. The boy who turned out to be a lost Herondale. And honestly after all of this time Ty still couldn't explain it.

This is a bad idea, He thought to himself as he slowly turned the doorknob. This is a terrible idea. Ty, driven by pure need like fire under his skin, pushed the door open.

Kit was awake as Ty suspected he would be, sitting by the window and staring out into the night sky. Under the moonlight he was glowing. He turned around to stare at Ty, first with a look of shock, and then that same hallow desperation Ty had been seeing on Kit's face lately.

He also looked angry.

"What the hell are you doing in here Ty?" He sounded exhausted. Ty almost felt guilty in a sense. He stared at Kit for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know," he whispered, staring at the ground. "I suppose I was compelled." Ty let his gaze slowly rise up Kit's body, drinking it in.

Kit scoffed harshly. "Compelled? By what exactly, Tiberius?"

Ty looked up at Kit's face in surprise. He rarely called Ty by his full name. Ty really didn't like how it felt. Cold and distant. Ty sighed, pushing his fingertips against his collarbone and tracing it slightly.

"I don't know. I guess I just needed to know. I need to know why you left me." Ty tried not to let himself sound desperate or weak, but he had become worn down by this point. He couldn't keep up his defenses much longer.

"Why didn't you want me?" He muttered. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

And there it was. The painful truth that Ty had been avoiding. The fact that Kit had tossed him aside just like so many had before. Like Paige. Like his father. He had always tried so hard to make people happy. To live up to their expectations. But in the end it didn't matter how hard he tried, sometimes there was just no pleasing certain people.

Sometimes it seemed like there was no point in being good and following the rules if nothing ever changed. If Ty always ended up in the same place. If people always saw him as a problem or an inconvenience or worse, then he could just live up to their expectations. Be selfish and cold and cruel because no amount of begging and smiling was going to earn him respect.

Kit glared at him in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are? Coming in here to play mind games with me?" Before Ty could register what was happening, Kit was storming towards him and shoving him up against the wall with a loud thunk.

The feeling of Kit touching him again after all this time was dizzying. Kit was shorter then him so he needed to crane his neck a little to look up at Ty, which meant that his throat was completely exposed for Ty to stare at.

"I told you how I felt and you did nothing! You ignored me!" Kit cried. "I wanted you more then I've ever wanted anything Ty! I still do!" Tears were streaming down his face. Ty stared at Kit, completely frozen. His wrists were pinned to the wall by Kit's hands and their faces were inches apart.

Ty struggled to collect himself. "I didn't know what was going on," he gasped out shakily. "I was a mess Kit. I just had to get her back. But-." He cut himself off. It was all for nothing. Ty had lost Livvy in the end and he had lost Kit as well.

Ty shook his head. "Does this mean that you love me?" His voice sounded so far away. Like the words were being pulled from some unexpected place within him. Kit let out a soft gasp and squeezed his eyes shut before fixing his expression into a blank slate. He leaned forward slightly so that their lips were just barely touching, then gently trailed his mouth across Ty's cheek to his ear.

Ty felt him smirk slightly before Kit whispered in his ear. "Go to sleep Ty. Go back to your boyfriend."

And before Ty had time to think, he was lashing out. He shoved Kit backwards as hard as he could with a snarl. Kit went flying across the room and slammed into the opposite wall. If Kit had been human it probably would have knocked him out. Ty stared in horror at what he had done as Kit clutched his ribs and groaned.

"You seriously have some anger management issues!" Kit snapped at him, glaring pointedly. Ty knew that. When he was younger he used to have fits of uncontrollable rage all the time. Words didnt come easily to him so he would hit, scratch, bite or throw whatever was closest to make people realize he was in pain. When he wanted to say "don't touch me" or "you hurt my feelings" but he just could make the words form properly, he would get angry. And then he would lash out.

Ty thought he had been getting better at managing his emotions and communicating. But there was something about Kit Herondale that just evaporated every last bit of logic and reason he had until all that was left was the urge to scream.

Ty gaped in shock, searching for the right thing to say. "By the angel Kit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that I swear!" He pleaded. His fingers were beginning to shake and flutter at his sides. He tapped desperately against his thigh, scratching at the material of his sweatpants to try and calm himself down.

Kit just shook his head and laughed humourlessly. "Honestly Ty, we should just tell the Seelie Queen not to worry. And Janus, and all the other people who want the first heir dead. You'll destroy me just fine on your own." He gaze was piercing and ruthless.

Ty's breathing was frantic and erratic as he shook in agony. He could feel he was on the urge of a meltdown.

Kit pulled himself to his feet. He stared at Ty longingly and then smiled slightly. A genuine smile. "But honestly what a way to go. Does that answer your question sweetheart?"

Ty gasped soundlessly, his hands shaking at his sides. He fought to get a hold of himself. Kit studied Ty for a moment, then slowly began to approach him.

"Why are you here Ty? Why did you come here exactly?" Kit was speaking in a soft lulling voice as if he was trying to hypnotize Ty.

"I'm here because I miss you," Ty admitted. "It's confusing. Because I'm still mad at you. But I can't stop thinking about you." Ty felt as though he was close to crying, which was concerning because he rarely ever cried.

Only for Kit.

Kit scowled at him slightly. "You're with someone else, remember?"

Guilt instantly pierced through Ty's chest. "Yeah I know, I'm a terrible person," he said bitterly. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had been trying this whole time to distract himself from Kit. That he was using Anush. But that was technically true. Ty saw the opportunity to lose himself in a pretty boy with an honest smile who loved him wholeheartedly.

Ty thought he could forget but then here he was. All roads led to Kit Herondale.

Kit sighed and reached for Ty, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. "You arent terrible. You're spiraling. And you come to me like I can save you from yourself? Please," Kit chuckled. "I can barely save myself."

"I don't need you to save me."

Kit stared at him with an expression that was hard to place. Then he smiled, but it wasnt a kind smile. It was a satisfied, knowing smirk. Kit traced his thumb under Ty's chin then back up to his lips, forcing them to part slightly.

"You think I don't know why you're here love?" He cooed in a voice that was both soothing and alluring. You think I don't know what you're after?" Kit sighed, sounding a little worn down. "If I was a better person, a stronger person. I would tell you to leave." He dipped his hands down underneath Ty's shirt.

Ty shivered at the cold feeling against his skin. He dropped his forhead down to lean against Kit's, revealing in the contact. "Lucky for you," Kit whispered against his lips, "I'm not."

Ty felt the last string of his self control snap as he kissed Kit roughly, grabbing onto his torso and pulling him closer. Kit responded to the kiss eagerly, parting his lips for Ty and laughing deliriously as their lips met again and again.

Kit was tearing off Ty's shirt as he walked him backwards, closer to the bed. As soon as he had slid it off if Ty's body, Kit tossed the shirt aside and went back to kissing him. Ty felt his knees hit the bed frame and he fell backwards onto the soft welcoming mattress, pulling Kit down with him.

Kit kissed a line down Ty's neck to his pulse point and Ty groaned, burying his fingers in Kit's curls. He was lost in a sea of pure desperation.

"Tell me to stop," Kit whispered between kisses. Ty froze for a moment. Then he understood.

Kit was giving him an out.

Ty responded by pulling Kit even closer and letting his head fall back against the pillows.

He closed his eyes and let Kit Herondale ruin him.

The morning after was the hardest. Ty pulled himself from Kit's arms and forced himself not to look back.

And that was when he finally cried.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WHAT THE HELL FAE! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS OMG 😭

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #kit herondale #ty blackthorn #twp #tw violence #tw cheating #cw toxic behavior #cw toxic relationship

[vityuuwrites]

Know we didnt talk in a while and I hope u okk now... also wondering if u wanna do a vicuuri x never let me down?

Chose a random nr from my playlist and it was kinda lucky :)

ahhh i’m good now yeah, ty for worrying!! hope you are too <333 i’m sorry this is so late ASKSKS i hope you like it!! i might or might not have written most of it during a lecture whoops,,, also ty for the request! 

-

Victor is used to hiding everything behind a smile.

He never talks about his feelings – there's no space for them in skating. Maybe there was years ago, when he was still bright-eyed and hopeful, when love coloured his every move, his every jump and he was filled with indescribable joy after every performance. When skating was something he did because he loved it and not only because it was the only thing he was good at.

But now, Victor is Victor Nikiforov. He's Victor Nikiforov, the living legend, an untouchable god in skating no one could come close to, who was naturally good at it. Someone who never made mistakes, never faltered – he was the one person everyone wanted to catch up to, to push out of the top.

If they knew how lonely it was there, maybe they wouldn't want it because Victor is alone and he has to be alone. He has to be alone because he can't show any weakness to anyone.

Yuuri Katsuki is not like that.

It is almost like every single one of his emotions is etched onto his face, in the furrow between his eyebrows whenever he's anxious, or the shy turn of his lips whenever he's happy. His eyes sparkle when he's excited, his arms moving with the speed of his words. Victor feels warm whenever he looks at him.

He never thought that the man who swept him off his feet – quite literally – at that banquet so long ago would one day be moving in with him. He never thought that this level of happiness was possible. Not for him.

It made him want to be more open with himself. He wanted to share the parts of himself he kept hidden for so long – the lonely, broken parts of him that he never let anyone see – with the world.

Or just with Yuuri. There wasn't much difference to him, after all.

It was hard, though. His mind was, is and forever will be a dark, dark place that he sometimes sunk into. It was never as bad as Yuuri had it, he didn't think, but his thoughts were still hard to escape.

Victor Nikiforov is 28 years old. He is 28 years old which means his body is a ticking bomb just ready to go off at any seconds.

He knows he only has maybe one or two good seasons left. He can feel it in the hollow ache of his muscles all the way down to his bones, in the way his knees buckle when he lands a jump and his stamina is starting to get worse.

He only has one or two good seasons left in him and he doesn't want them to go to waste.

Maybe deciding to get back to skating was a bad idea. Maybe Victor should have let himself be blown out like a candle while he was still at his peak, suddenly and without a warning before people around him started noticing his weakness.

But he wanted to skate with Yuuri.

Him returning to the ice made Yuuri happy.

Victor lives for making Yuuri happy.

“Victor?” Yuuri says, breaking Victor out of his thoughts. Yuuri turns from the pan he is hunched over. His eyebrows crease with worry. “Are you ok?”

Victor forces a smile as he taps his fingers against the marble island stretching out over the middle of the kitchen. “Of course I am, Yuuri. Why’d you ask?”

Yuuri fully turns to him. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we’ve returned from practice.”

Victor hesitates for a second too long and he knows that Yuuri sees right through him. Still, he glances away as to not face his gaze. “I’m fine.”

Yuuri frowns but he does not pry, just turns back to the omelette he’s making.

Victor is grateful for that.

-

Victor is laying in the dark with the soft buzz of snowflakes hitting his window a backdrop to his thoughts. His hand is curled around Yuuri’s waist, rubbing the warm skin while Yuuri’s hair tickles at his chest and his breath strokes across his collarbones. He watches the cracks across his ceiling, like cracks under skates that split the smooth surface of the ice.

His eyes glance at his hand that spreads out across the sheet. The golden ring glints in the sliver of moonlight. His lips curl into a smile.

It is the only gold he ever won that does not feel like a shackle around his neck.

“Yuuri?” he whispers into the peaceful room. “Are you awake?”

“Mmm,” Yuuri murmurs and shifts in his hold. Bleary eyes turn to face him. Victor’s hand tightens on his waist. “I am now.”

Victor huffs out a laugh as his eyes turn back towards the ceiling. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispers. “I was just checking.”

Yuuri’s hair tickles him through his silk pajama top as he shakes his hand. “It’s ok, I don’t mind. We don’t have practice tomorrow morning, anyway.”

“True.” He keeps his gaze on the ceiling. “I’m still sorry.”

Yuuri’s hand moves from the sheet to hold Victor’s. He gives it a squeeze.

“Yuuri?” he says again after a minute of silence that presses heavy against his chest. “Can I…” He bites his bottom lip as he struggles to say something. Anything. He knows Yuuri will not judge him if he does.

The words still get stuck in the back of his throat.

Yuuri lifts his head from Victor’s chest and shifts higher to tilt his head so their gazes meet. “Victor?” he says softly.

Victor loosens a shaky breath and searches his eyes. He squeezes his hand tighter. “I’m scared,” he finally manages to choke out and sighs as tears gather at the corners of his eyes. He roughly wipes them away with the back of his hand.

Yuuri blinks. His hand grips Victor’s and gently pushes it away in favour of wiping the wetness away himself. “Of what?” he whispers, hand lingering against his cheek.

Victor nuzzles into it like a kitten and gives another shaky sigh. “I don’t know,” he says, gritting his teeth together. He looks back up towards the ceiling so he does not have to face him. “Nothing. Everything.”

“Is this why you’ve been awfully quiet today?” Yuuri asks. His voice is soft and caring and Victor wants to weep. He does not know why; it is just pressing heavily against very being.

“Maybe? I’ve just been too stuck in my mind.” He presses an arm over his eyes to hide the tear that slides down his cheek. It feels freezing cold. “I hate it. I hate it so much.”

Yuuri’s hand squeezes the hand he’s holding. “Victor…” he leans in to wrap his arms around him, pulling his head against his chest. Victor’s shoulders shake and he burrows his face into his chest as he gives a silent sob.

“Is there anything I can do?” Yuuri’s warm hand strokes circles into his scalp. Victor releases another shaky breath.

“I’m scared,” he says again, voice tight as he attempts to gather his thoughts. “I’m scared, Yuuri.”

Yuuri presses a soft kiss against the crown of his hair. “It’s ok, let it all out, it’s ok,” he whispers and Victor feels something inside of him break. His tears flow out freely, and he hiccups as he clutches at him like a lifeline.

“ It’s just,” he starts and scowls, his tears staining Yuuri’s sleeping shirt. “It’s just… I’m scared this is my last good season. I’m scared because I’m 28 and skating is the only thing I’ve done for more than 20 years. I don’t know how to do anything else, I don’t want to retire but I also know I need to because I – I can feel it. I wobble on jumps, I get tired too easily, I’m one knee injury away from retiring anyway. But I also don’t want to retire yet because – because you taught me to love skating again and I’ve just started to enjoy it again and – and ---”

Victor grits his teeth together. Yuuri just silently holds him.

“And I don’t want to let you down,” Victor adds in a near whisper as he grasps at him tighter and curls up into himself. “I know you want to skate with me and I want to skate with you and even saying that I want to skate is amazing because I was going to retire this season but I really, really want to but I’m scared that if I return I’ll just let everyone down. Everyone expects me to be so amazing all the time but I can’t be and I know I need to retire before I’m forced to by an injury.”

Victor takes a deep breath and slumps against himself. He squeezes his eyes shut.

Yuuri’s hand moves to rub his back. “How long have you been sitting on that?” he asks, voice feather-light and gentle. Victor gives a little laugh.

“A while,” he admits. “I’m… not used to talking about my feelings. I didn’t think anyone would care as long as I skated alright.”

Yuuri’s lips find the crown of his head again. “Thank you for telling me,” he says and when Victor looks up at his face, bathed in pearly moonlight, he sees he is smiling. Victor closes his eyes when Yuuri brushes his bangs out of them.

“I hope I didn’t pressure you into returning to the ice,” Yuuri continues and cups his cheek. His hand is warm against his freezing cheek. Victor sobs and nuzzles into it again, trying to control his breathing.

“You didn’t, I did it because I wanted to skate alongside you.”

“Good, because I never want to pressure you into anything.” His lips find his forehead. “You’d never let me down, Vitya. Never. You can flub as many jumps you want, you can retire, hell, you can move to Antarctica and stay there to, I don’t know, study the penguins alone, I would always be in awe of you. I would always love you.” He hesitates. “You know that, don’t you?”

Victor sobs louder and presses his hand against his mouth. “I-I’m trying,” he admits. “I’m…Not used to that.”

Love always felt conditional to him. If he skated well, the audience loved him. If he behaved (though he rarely did), Yakov loved him. If he scored well, Russia loved him.

If he stays untouchable, if he overworks himself into exhaustion, if he stays the living legend, the world loves him.

“Oh, Vitya,” Yuuri breathes and squeezes him closer. His hands fist at the back of his shirt. “You don’t have to do anything special for me to love you. I won’t love you less if you fuck up, if you’re not always the best. You can never let me down. You saw me at my worst and you never ran away. Why would I?”

“I—I don’t know,” he says, voice shaking. He bites back another sob and takes a deep breath. “It felt like you would.”

“Never.” Yuuri starts stroking his hair again, hand shaking the tiniest bit. “You’re stuck with me, Vitya. I can’t promise you that you won’t fall and injure yourself tomorrow. I can’t promise you that your body won’t catch up with you.”

Victor glances up at Yuuri’s face when Yuuri’s hand urges him to look him in the eyes. He sniffles, another tear leaking down his warm cheek.

“But what I can promise you,” Yuuri continues and gives him a watery smile as he wipes it away. “Is that if those do happen, I’ll be here. If you decide you want to retire, I’ll be here. I won’t leave you. I could never leave you. I love you too much.”

Victor throws his arms around him and sobs softly into his shoulder, shaking as Yuuri’s hand warms him down to his core when it draws nonsense shapes Victor’s too lost to recognise.

“I love you too,” he answers shakily when a few minutes pass and his breathing starts to slow, his shaking a mere tremor compared to how he began. He pulls away only slightly, so slight their chests still touch, to give Yuuri a watery smile just as the moon peeks out from behind a thick cloud and sheds a sliver of light over Yuuri’s porcelain-smooth face. “I love you so much.”

He buries his head into the crook of his neck again, pressing a soft kiss to the warm skin he finds there. “What have I ever done to deserve someone as amazing as you?” he breathes in deeply to ground himself.

“Existed,” Yuuri says and brushes his hair away from his face before their hands twine again.

Victor starts softly weeping anew.

#yuri!!! on ice #yoi #yuri on ice #victuuri #viktuuri #vikturi #victuri #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #(ngl you were probably expecting me to do yuuri #but i really wanted to dive into victor's head a bit oops) #yoi fanfiction #lyre plays #fic: unconditionally #fanfiction #y!!oi

[backtobackbakubabe]

Stuck in the Middle with You (Part 3)

Bakugo X Reader

Words : 2280

*****************************************************************************************************

How? How has it already been five days? The two of you had fallen into a routine that was borderline domestic. Bakugo was an early riser so every morning you could expect to wake up to a fresh pot of coffee and some kind of breakfast. Pancakes were usually his go to. It could have been because you had a shit ton of pancake batter... or maybe he had picked up on the fact you really liked pancakes? 

After breakfast he would do some kind of workout, sometimes using your backyard to do sprints or using your lawn furniture as weights. You had to admit he was kind of... hot when he got all sweaty. You’d never let him know that though. He’d let it go straight to his head and you'd never hear the end of it, So instead of watching him workout like you wanted to , you would usually curl up on the sofa with your iPad and do todays crossword puzzle. 

Then next on the list was you binge watching criminal minds with him and you both would bet on who the killer was. You always won, which Bakugo always pretended to be mad about. He would call you a cheater because this was what you did for a living. You’d both bicker and complain but without fail you'd always end up leaning on him and he would always pull you closer. It was nice. 

Then when dinner rolled around he would do his best to teach you how to cook. That was the deal after all. He would growl under his breath every time you did something wrong but he’d never actually scold you. Instead he would patiently help you fix it. This was a whole different side to him you had never seen. To be fair you had really only spent time with him in school, and in group settings. Maybe this was normal one on one behavior for him... you’d have to ask Kiri. 

Tonight he was teaching you how to make home made sushi. He insisted it wasnt as hard as it looked but you didnt believe him. He said that about everything he had taught you so far, and so far it was all really hard. 

Cooking with Bakugo was... rather difficult. He was a great teacher and actually way more patient then you would have thought, it was just... his proximity. He was always right next to you or leaning on you, sometimes he’d take your hand and try and to guide you through the motions. As comforting as you found his presence, your brain would just shut down when he was that close to you. You’d find yourself lost in your thoughts. 

Today was no different. Right now he is right next to you showing you how to roll the rice paper and you started your usual spiral. Is he mad he’s stuck here? Does he like teaching you to cook? Wow he smells nice. Why does he sleep on your floor every night? Is it comfortable? Does his back hurt? Should you invite him to sleep in your bed? Would he think thats weird? Should you tell him to go back to the couch? Would that hurt his feeling? Wow his body heat feels great. Wait...  did he stop talking?

“OI! Earth to smalls! I swear you’re always so hyper focused when watching tv but it when it comes to cooking its like you check out completely! You’re the one who asked me to teach you how to cook.”

You blushed and gave him a quick shrug, “You're right I’m sorry. I am trying though. It’s just sometimes I get stuck in my own head.”

Bakugo softened a bit as he turned to lean on the counter and look at you, “Yeah I know. Usually I dont have a problem with it but the kitchen isn't exactly the best place for you to go all space cadet. It’s full of things that can and will cut you, burn you, and squish you....”

A vision of a first aid kit popped into your head and your lip quirked in a soft smile. You didn't mean to take peaks into Bakugo’s head but sometimes it was like his thoughts were screaming at you. Begging for you to see. It was almost like he wanted you to know that he would take care of you if you got hurt. “I’m a big girl Bakugo. If i get hurt it won't be any ones fault but mine. But I will try to focus a bit more, I promise.” 

You put your hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, “So what’s next?”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes at you, indicating he didnt think the conversation was over. He picked up the finished plates of sushi and headed towards the kitchen table? “Now we eat and you tell me what you were thinking about.”

You blushed as you took your normal seat across from him. “Do we have to?”

Bakugo stopped mid bite, “Uh... yeah. Eating is kind of necessary to survival y/n.” 

You rolled your eyes, “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Bakugo smirked, “Well maybe I’d know you better if you actually talked to me. You were the one bitching the other day that you didnt know anything about me... come on... what had you stuck in the cramped little brain of yours a few minutes ago?”

You huffed as you threw your hands up in frustration, “Same thing as always! You! Its always you. Not in like a weird way or anything... I swear... It’s just... I dont know!”

You saw the faintest of blushes grace his cheeks before he composed himself, “What about me?” 

You took a sip of your water as you searched for the right words. “I just... I tend to over think every single aspect of my life. And right now... you’re basically the only thing in my life. I keep wondering if you’re happy here or if you’re miserable being stuck here with me. I wonder if you’re back hurts from sleeping on the floor and if I should offer to let you sleep in the bed. Then I wonder if that’s creepy. It starts as something so innocent and then it just spirals until I fall down the rabbit hole... completely lost in my own head.”

Bakugo nodded as he took another bite of his sushi, “Sounds exhausting... Why not just ask me instead, and save yourself the trouble?”

You eyes widened, “What do you mean?”

It was his turn to roll his eyes at you, “I mean idiot.. instead of getting tangled up in wondering about me and my feeling just fucking ask... No. I am not miserable, I actually find your company to be pleasant. No my back doesn't hurt from sleeping on your floor but I can't say the same for my shoulder. No it wouldn't be creepy to ask if I wanted to sleep in your bed... honestly I think that's very sweet of you and as long as you were comfortable I may even take you up on it... There yeah see... problem solved.... anything else I can clear up for you?”

It was like this weird buzzing in your head that you hadn't even noticed was there had finally stopped. Was it really that easy. “Yeah actually... would you mind if I joined you during your workouts sometime? I’m not in as good as shape as I used yo be... but..”

“But nothing... of course you’re welcome to join. I won't go easy on you though. Never have and I won't start now!”

You bit back a smile as you mind wandered back to the all the times at UA you stood across from him during training. He scared the absolute shit out of you then. His intensity had really done a number on your anxiety. But honestly whether he knew it or not it had also helped you prepare for the real world. “I wouldn't expect it any other way believe me.” 

After diner you both got ready for bed and instead of watching tv in the living room you had decided to just go ahead and get in bed. You had expected him to stay up a little later but to your surprise he walked in a few minutes after and stood at the end of your bed, “So what's the deal? Am I sleeping on the floor or what?” 

You gestured to the empty side of the bed, “That side’s all yours. I’m sorry in advance if I accidentally hit you. It hasn't happened in a while, but I’ve been known to thrash around when I’m having intense dreams.”

He smirked, “As if it would even hurt. I’ll be fine. It’s your bed anyways, thrash around all you want.” 

You pulled out your iPad and started on a new crossword puzzle. 

Bakugo crawled in to bed next to you and took a peak over your shoulder. “May I ask what is with you and crossword puzzles?”

You shrugged, “They’re fun. They keep your brain sharp. They’re relaxing. And sometimes they are excellent distractions. I love all puzzles though. Not just crosswords. I love anything that makes me think. I mean look at my job. Sometimes I feel like I’m just playing a game of clue.” 

He scooted a bit closer and after a few minutes of silence he reached over to point at one of the clues, “ Nitroglycerin... thats the answer.”

You smiled, “I’d say I’m surprised but if you know about anything it’s about what blows up.”

He held a crackling hand close enough for you to see but far enough to not be dangerous, “Well I sweat the stuff, so of course I’d know about it but I’ll have you know I’m fucking smart. I’m not just a hot piece of ass. I got better grades than fucking Deku half the time. What app is that... I’ll show you.”

You giggled as you helped him download the puzzle page app on his phone and he immediately started to try and complete puzzles faster than you. You could hear him cursing under his breath when he would get stuck and once you caught him trying to take a peak at your screen. 

“Katsuki! I know you are competitive but I never would have believed you to be a cheater!” You hid your screen from his view as your eyes connected with his slightly embarrassed look. 

“I’m not a cheater! It’s not cheating! It’s just... reconnaissance...You had information I needed and I simply observed to gain that information...”

You swatted at him, “Oh you are so busted!”

He laughed “Shit calm down woman! You said it yourself! You fucking solve puzzles for a living! I needed all the help I could get!”

You sat up straight, “What happened to ‘I’m fucking smart. I’m not just a hot piece of ass’?”

He sat up too inserting himself into your personal space, “I am fucking smart! You’re just...” His voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper, “fucking smarter.”

You were now on your knees jumping up and down, “Oh my fucking god! Did Bakugo Katsuki really just admit that someone was better than him at something?”  

He hid his face while you jumped up and down in celebration but when he looked at you he looked happy, “Yeah yeah, whatever smalls. You win this time but there’s always tomorrow.” 

You got back in you spot and grabbed the remote to turn on the tv, “I’ll probably beat you tomorrow too. But dont worry Katsuki... at least you’re still be a hot piece of ass..” 

He gave you a light shove as you picked something to watch. It didnt take long for you to drift off. In fact you had fallen asleep much faster than you usually did. And for once your dreams where pretty tame. No bad memories haunting you, no anxieties dragging you down. Instead you dreamed about the UA sports festival, and this time you won instead of Bakugo.

When you woke up you felt a pressure on your back as well as a vice like grip around your hip. You didnt know what was more surprising, the fact you woke up before Bakugo, or that he was currently spooning you. 

You cleared your throat and wiggled a bit to try and wake him up but he just groaned, “Uhhh y/n could you not wiggle your ass when I’m right behind you.”

You scoffed, “I wouldn’t have to if you were on your side of the bed.”

He squeezed you tighter, “I wouldn't be on your side of the bed if I hadn’t had to physically restrain you so you’d stop hitting me last night...”

You blushed, “I’m sorry... I did try and warn you...”

His eyes still closed, obviously still tired, “It’s cool, you calmed down as soon as I held you.”

You put your hand over his that was still wrapped around your waist, “Well I’m awake now Bakugo and I promise I won't hit you. You can let go.”

He just nuzzled further into your back, “Well I’m still tired and I don’t want to. You’re the perfect size for a teddy bear smalls.”

You tried not to, but you snorted, “Ground Zero needs a teddy bear to sleep?”

He froze before he shoved you almost off the bed, “Shut up smalls... I’m gonna go make coffee.... and lots of it.” 

You watched the muscles in his back as he walked across the room in nothing but a pair of shorts... fuck... you were in over your head. 

#bakugo #Katsuki Bakugō #bakugo katsuki #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo imagine #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #mha x y/n #my hero academia

[iamsonyeondone]

plus one // kim doyoung

♥  florist! doyoung x wedding planner! reader 

♥  fluff!

♥  2.5k words

as much as your job required you to run multiple errands and search for whatever the bridezillas were so persistent to having

it was still something you had fun doing especially when you get clients who were unexpectedly easy-going

but even if they werent, you tried your best to look at the brightside

and maybe also confide in the multiple shop owners you had gotten to know through your job

irene, the owner of the boutique that you would always recommend to your clients, is always a sweetheart to you whenever she sees you drop by to check on the dresses

when i meant sweetheart, i meant the kind where she really takes care of you like a motherly figure

“are you sure you’ve gotten enough to eat? wendy stopped by with lunch and she brought some extra. have lunch with me?”

or “did you stain your dress shirt again? change into this one and i’ll take care of that stain,” as she casually whips out detergent and fabric softener from in between the dresses????

but you also have the bakery where you accidentally become the food critic for kun because he cant trust his nephew's friends because they’ll eat anything edible

especially jaemin who may or may not have sneaked behind the counter to make his own concoction of coffee because kun wouldnt’t let them in

but thats because the last time they went into the kitchen, they nearly burnt the building down

anYways, whenever you meet kun its always the usual “try this” “yn what do you think?” “is it a little too sweet?”

and you try your best to give whatever knowledge you have from cakes that your clients have ordered

and kun would have this big smile, thanking you before he rushes off to the kitchen again

aside from the two most loveliest people you’ve ever met on the job, theres was one other person who wasn’t as lovely

or at least not as welcoming

kim dongyoung, the florist you always order from but you just wished he would be a little less,,, sarcastic

it’s not like you hated him for being him

you just cant wrap your mind around the fact that nearly every sentence that comes out from his mouth would be sarcastic

like that one time you couldn’t pronounce peonies and pronounced them as ponies instead and he looked at you with That Look

as if you couldn’t pronounce cat or something

“this isn’t a stable yn. if you wanted to see horses, this isn’t the place you should be going to,”

and sometimes he gets on your nerves when you call out to him and he just ignores you because you’re just dropping by to check on the bouquet order

and he just goes like “did yall hear sumn?”

but one day, when you were absolutely exhausted from tending to a third-level bridezilla aka the second worst kind, and you had your last stop at the flower shop

you went in as per usual and asked if doyoung had already prepared the bouquet you asked him to prepare the day before

and doyoung scoffs, “you think?” 

and it wasn’t even half as bad as he usually teased you

but you’re suddenly in tears and it most definitely caught doyoung off-guard

like he’s always seen you remain firm and strong no matter how annoying he gets most of the times

but to see you in shambles like this made him feel like the biggest douchebag on earth

instead of showing you the bouquet, he brings a tissue box from his desk and wipes your tears, repeating his apologies as much as he could

and as your sniffling and hiccuping from your breakdown, doyoung curses in his head

because he’s the biggest idiot, getting his heart shattered just by looking at your distress

“kun came by because he wasn’t on shift today and knew you would be coming later so he dropped off some bagels and coffee if you wanted. he said it was another experiment,”

while your throat still felt like a pit was stuck in it, you nodded your head slowly while doyoung fetched the paperbag and a cup from his desk

the two of you sat in silence while you nibbled on the bag, thinking to yourself to thank kun when you see him

and doyoung just sits on the opposite side, leaning back on his chair with his arms folded

and you feel like he’s burning a hole through your head with his eyes and couldnt help but take a few glances his way

and he’s just staring right at you

as if he was too far into dream land to notice you were looking back at him

the way his face looked a little solemn, which was unusual for you to see him in that state

that was until you remembered the little breakdown from earlier and your eyes shift away from his dark ones

you couldnt handle the silence any longer, fidgeting in your seat as you sipped your drink

“im...sorry for earlier. it was a rough day and-”

“i’m the one who was supposed to apologize, you don’t have to,” he cut you off, sighing as he combed through his hair with his fingers

“yeah but it must’ve been awkward seeing me be a crybaby,”

and doyoung bites his tongue from agreeing with you 

“we all have our moments, im just glad you dont see mine,” 

you gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your chest, an obvious attempt to lighten the mood

“kim dongyoung cries too,”

“ha ha very funny. I’m not a robot you know,” he rolled his eyes and somehow, seeing you with that growing smile on your face lifted a weight he didnt know had been on his shoulders

“anyways, i need to close up shop now so make sure you got all your things,” he waved his hand, dismissing you as he locked up the back room and packed his belongings

just as you slung your bag over your shoulder, a picture of him and kun as well as their friends were framed and put on his desk

and you weren’t sure how you weren’t able to spot such a striking photo full of a huge group of guys

but when you see doyoung smiling so brightly in the photo, you couldn’t help but smile as well

“if you’re done oggling my friends, you could maybe get out before you get locked in?” he raised a brow, leaving the door open as he waited for you to leave

as he locked the main doors, you couldnt help but imagine that big grin on his face

“why don’t you ever smile as often?” you questioned him out of the blue

“i dont see a need to.” he replied nonchalantly, walking off once the entrance was locked

“whatever floats your boat i guess. by the way...” you trailed off, stopping him in his tracks as he turned back to face you

“thank you, doyoung,” you smiled, waving him goodbye before rushing off to the other direction

for some reason, your cheeks felt like they had been lit on fire and the tightening feeling around your chest felt unfamiliar

and while you were too busy fussing over symptoms that would have been obvious to the public eye, doyoung watched your figure disappear while a smile grew on his face

with a small chuckle he turned the other way and huffed

“maybe smiling isnt that bad,” he mumbled under his breath, taking slower than usual in his walk back home

a week passes and said third-level bridezilla's wedding had finally arrived

and you've never felt more tired than you did in your entire college life

with barely 2 hours of sleep, you rushed around the venue with your clipboard in hand, checking things off your list once they were prepared

after the main hall had been done, it was finally your time to do your job as councellor for the bride but a tap on your shoulder stops you from rushing to the waiting room

"yn? cant believe you forgot something so important," doyoung smirks, pointing to a bouquet of fresh flowers in his other hand

you sigh, thanking him profusely as you took it carefully into your arms

your concealer wasnt doing a good job in hiding your dark circles, and the stray strands of hair that were sticking out from your once styled hair made you look unkempt

"is there anything else you need help with? im free for the rest of the day," doyoung asks without hesitation

remembering the mental breakdown you had that day was a good enough reason to ask you

"i dont- i dont think so but i need to go and see the bride before it starts and then check if the groom's ready and most importantly the rings and the ringbearers are probably with the groom too-"

"I'll check on the groom and the ringbearers, while you go tackle that monster in the waiting room," he chuckle

and you see this wide smile plastered on his face

and for a split second, your heart nearly jumps right out of your chest

but when the thought of the bride comes wrecking through, you thank him once again, running down the hallway with your clipboard close to your chest

while doyoung jogs off to find the groom, his heart racing for one reason only

as your calming the bride down with the second box of tissues, trying your best to maintain the makeup that the makeup artist had painstakingly done for 2 whole hours

doyoung was more than ready, already ensuring the groom’s outift as well as the ringbearer who was the groom’s adorable nephew

all that’s left was to wait for the event to begin

once the bride had calmed down and successfully did not wipe the hours of work on her face, you checked on the bridesmaids before heading off to the venue

just as you walked down the halls, you see doyoung walking ahead of you

as quietly as you could, you sneaked up behhind him, grabbing his shoulders and scaring him

yet doyoung didnt even make a sound

until you pouted and he couldnt resist letting out the most sarcastic yell paired with the most unamused expression

"sheesh, you could've just stopped at not reacting rather than give me the shittiest one you've ever given me," you huffed, brushing your stray strands of hair as the both of you walked side by side

"but it was entertaining seeing you fail, so it wasn't really a failure was it?" he teased

and yet the endearing gesture of his to brush the annoying strand of hair behind your ear is the only thing you can notice

"y-yeah whatever. besides, is everything ready on the groom’s side?” you questioned, avoiding his eyes

“he’s practically ready to say his vows right now. what about the bride? heard she had the sixth mental breakdown today,” he chuckled while you groaned, massaging your temples

“she started crying about her double chin because she’s been stress-eating the past week so the make-up artists had to contour her chin a little more,” your story made doyoung burst out laughing, and although it caught you by surprise, you laughed along, relishing in the rare moment

“let’s get this over and done with,” his smile still shining after his laughing fit

“we?” you raised a brow

“you really think you can handle this bridezilla alone?” he smirked

“let’s do this then,” with a final look and a loud thump of your heart, you and doyoung head over to the venue 

everything went on smoother than you had planned - the bride only started crying after her vows, the cute nephew didnt trip over his own two chubby feet and everything was done just as it did during rehearsals

you couldnt control the relieved smile on your lips and doyoung might have not be able to control his eyes from watching you every once in a while, his smile mirroring yours

“now all that’s left is the reception in two hours. see you later then?” you asked doyoung while everyone else scattered out of the venue

“of course you will. before i go, wear something blue,” he flashed you another smile before rushing out of the doors

did he...ask you that for the two of you to match?

you shake your head from the clouds while your heart raced once more

doyoung really has a way of creeping into your heart

as the reception began and you were walking from one end to another to ensure everything was ready, you dont notice doyoung walking in with a navy blue suit, his hair swept back

because if you did, you would have stopped entirely and knocked into one of the waiters

which was something you nearly did if it werent for one of the bride’s sisters

“did i see what i think i saw, yn?” in a second, doyoung was now in front of you and that damn smirk of his on display

“shut up, you didnt see anything. and anyways, why did you ask me to wear blue anyway? i had to ask irene to borrow me one,” you sighed, brushing off imaginary dust off of your outift to distract you from how good-looking doyoung had become

not like he wasnt good-looking in the first place

“to match with me obviously, i can’t come here uninvited so i guess i’m you’re plus one for now,” he shrugged when in reality, its making it hard for him to breathe and difficult for him to not only focus on you

“i completely forgot-”

“yn! thank you for helping my sister with her wedding- oh is this your boyfriend? is he the one in charge of the bouquet?” the sister’s bride grins wide while the two of you exchanged anxious looks

“y-yeah, he’s the one who arranged the bouquet. how is the outfit change going?” you mustered up a sweet smile to cover your raging heart as you linked arms with doyoung, nudging him to play along

“oh everything’s fine, dont worry about it. by the way, if you guys ever plan on tying the knot, dont fret to call me, i will gladly lend a helping hand,” but before she could go on about marriage, she was pulled to the side by her cousin, leaving you and doyoung 

“to make this easier, why dont i just be your actual plus one?” doyoung shrugged, sneaking his fingers to intertwine with yours instead, making you freeze on the spot

“what?” you nearly snap your head from turning to look at him

“did i stutter?” he squeezes your hand, a small smile adorning his face

“wait, the feelings are mutual?-” you stutter, still wide-eyed from his sudden confession

“oh god you’re such an idiot, but i guess you’re my idiot now,” he let out a tired chuckle, holding you by the waist and pressing a gentle kiss to your temple

kim dongyoung was actually a lovely florist

he just had no idea how to handle ‘feelings’

a/n: its been so long since i wrote that im having so much trouble making sense of my words but i hope you guys like it!!

#kpop #imagine #scenario #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #reader #reader insert #bulletpoint scenario #nct #nct 2018 #nct u #nct 127 #kim dongyoung #kim doyoung #doyoung

[xampomi]

Exes & Angels | jjk

• genre: high school au | romance | mystery

• pairing: ex!jungkook x y/n

• warnings: jungkook's not using underwear (there's a reasonable reason for that); ¿maybe jimin has a crush on Jungkook¿ ; trust issues; I dunno

• summary: jungkook’s rambling

Jungkook was having a shitty day so far.

First, he forgot to wash his underwear in the weekend, so he just decided to go commando today bcs wtf was he gonna do at 6 in the morning?? Then, when running to class, he bumped into some weird guy.

"wtf man. Wanna fight?", the little guy said.

For a moment, Jungkook stopped dead in his tracks because he though he saw some fucking sparkling halo above boy's head. But Jungkook didn't sleep much that night anyway so.

"N-not now. Sorry. I'm running late.", which was technically true. The thing is Jungkook didn't care. And he didn't really wait for the sparkling guy's answer.

As soon as Jungkook entered the class he sat at his regular seat, the window's view being extremely appealing to him.

As all of us can imagine, Jungkook was a smart kid but he didnt really care since he knew he was also extremely hot. That thought came to his mind numerous times. He knew that he should probably quit high school and become a stripper. He was definitely done with this shit. In addition, that would bring a lot of fast easy money.

"Fuck, i forgot about breakfast.", he remembered, thanks to his body's noises. Then he try listening to class but that didn't worked that well for him since he has tendency to zone out real easily.

However, two knocks in the classroom's door echoed through Jungkook's ears and for some reason he was suddenly attentive to what was happening in the real world.

Soon after the knocking was heard, the teacher stood there like some earthquake emergency, in which he should tell the students to keep calm, keep calm but if you wanna come back to your mama, walk quickly.

Then he woke up. "Come in".

When the door opened, a dark-haired girl appeared She quickly smiled to the teacher as she entered the room. "Good morning. Sorry to interrupt your class", she said in a low, innocent voice, although something on him told him that she didn't really care about his class. But he was no more interested in what was happening so he just dropped his head again on the table.

"Don't worry. What do you need, y/n?", he couldn't see what was happening but Jungkook knew that the teacher's teeth were about to fall down if he kept smiling like that to the girl.

"Could I borrow... Jung Jungkook? He's from this class, right? Mr. Robert wants to talk to him", y/n kindly asked.

Something was wrong. Everyone knew Robert was done having conversations with Jungkook since what happened in the canteen 2 months ago. Or perhaps he decided to finally let that go of that. He hoped so. He didn't wanted to talk about that again. Besides, Namjoon deserved it.

Maybe this time Mr. Robert wants to finally have a real conversation. Maybe about last week's fire alarm's break out.

Oh well.

"Ah!", the teacher dropped too happily. Then he seemed kinda regretful. Yeah. Hide the excitement, you bastard. "Go talk to the principal, Jeon."

"Oh no, I can't What about your class? I was so excited about hearing about the... effect of.... molecular evidence on....the classification of...hm... organisms.", I said already reaching for the door. I don't know if you noticed but I was being extremely sarcastic.

"Ooooh, don't worry.", yeah, he prolonged that "oh" like that. He was also being sarcastic but I know that deep inside he would miss me. Everyone those.

"You know I always open an exception for you every time you need to do things outside my class, Jeon. C'mon. Go talk to the principal." He pointed to the door in a very nonsarcastic way.

"I will come back for you.", I didn't really said this. But it would be funny. Because I would never come back.

Now in the corridor, Jungkook felt real freedom. He could finally go home, eat pancakes and dress some sweatpants or something that wouldn't make his dick itchy.

"Ya. Where do you think you're going?"

Shit.

"You know I'm really grateful that you let me out of there. Seriously." He made a dramatic pause. Then he decided to push him hair back and for a second, he though he saw her rolling her brown dark eyes. "But we broke up, y/n. You need to find yourself another man."

For a moment she looked kinda offended. Then remember she had more important things to discuss with him.

"lol that's what's i've been trying to do. I though it was pretty obvious I was trying to seduce Jimin. I mean, he's cute as hell. He just.... he doesn't look normal, okay? And not the "He's-just-too-good-to-be-true"type. I mean, it's obvious that a man like him could never be compared as a simple human. Have you ever had a good look at him? He's a God. He's just beautiful and kind, and talented,and sooo funny. Absolutely boyfriend material,ya know. And his buttcheks?? I could never think of a better--"

"Okay, okay. I get it. And?"

"He isn't normal, jungkook."

"As you've been telling me."

"He seriously isn't normal."

"Who is?", I smirked. "Just tell me who this Jimin guy is already bcs i think I've never heard of him."

She frozed a little. Then she slowly approached him.

"Buy you saw him, right? I know you did. I saw you this morning with him. That's why I came to you.", she had her eyes real open by now. "You're the living prove that I'm not crazy. You're the only one who always believes in me, right?"

Jungkook took a good at her. She no more looked like the shy, innocent girl that came for him in the middle of class. Sure, she still looked like the typical social butterfly. She was always the type of person that just loved to befriend people here and there. Now she just looked kinda exhausted. Still beautiful, but exhausted.

So yeah, jungkook was fricking out a little bit. Something was wrong with her. He needed to calm her down, so he could go home.

Then she suddenly went closer to him, her voice quieter than before. "I also need to tell you about the weirdest part, BUT you need to promise me to keep secret. Promise me."

"Okay, go on."

"I'm serious, kookie. "

"Don't call me that. I told you before, right?"

"Do it."

"I, Jeon Jungkook, promise that I will never tell whatever you're about to tell me."

"I think I killed him."

Jungkook frozed. For some reason his vision started getting blurry. He didn't eat anything since yesterday. He needed to eat.

"Sorry. Can you repeat that?"

"It was an accident, Jungkook. An accident." Her face has becomed red, her eyes watery and her body shaky. "C'mon. If you don't believe in me, who will?".

"But I talked to him this morning. He's not dead, y/n"

"He really is."

"That's so fucking impossible, y/n." He pushed his hair back, but not in a seductive way anymore. "You can only be lying to me rn. What the fuck happened?"

She avoid jungkook's eyes. "I don't know! One minute we were just making out inside the school depository and next one, he--"

Jungkook hoped he wouldnt regret his next words.

"Prove it."

"You still won't believe me, do you?"

"Y/n. Where's the body?"

"If I show it to you right now....will you believe in me? Will you promise to believe forever in me?"

Jungkook looked around. He was not in the right mood to see a dead body rn. But It was 14pm and for some reason he saw no one.

He should probably come back to class anyway.

"The body is still in there here, ya know."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Obviously is hidden under some blankets I found in there. I can show it to you."

"Did you call the policy?"

Now she frozen on her feet. "No, ofc not. I can't go to jail. I can't. Please believe in me, Kookie. We could just go. As we talked about bef-"

Jungkook should definitely become a stripper after this. But for now, he needed to call someone. However, the phone was inside the classroom. He couldn't call the police without a crime. He needed to see for himself. Yeah, played with fire alarms but dont fucking mess with 911.

If that boy really was dead, y/n needed to be arrested. That's the truth. He will eventually need to discuss it with her. Just not now.

"Let's go, then", he finally decides.

"Yey", she said but not that excited - she even seemed a little disappointed?? - but took his arm between hers anyway and guided him from corridor to corridor.

When they first arrived the depository's door, Jungkook was expecting to her to free his arm but she didn't. She wasn't stopped trembling. She killed a man and can't stop shaking wtf. She was afraid. Well, Jungkook was the one who should be afraid. I mean she had a lot of time to get accustomed to the cadaver. But more than that, Jungkook was hungry. Poor Jungkook.

The next moment,he saw y/n taking from her pocket a metal key. How did she get that? The innocent shy girl who could never lie to anyone, was no more a good girl.

She unlocked the door. "You'll believe in me now, Kook." And they stepped inside.

"It's too dark", he said.

"I know, dummy. I'll search for the switch."

The light went on but he still couldnt see anything.

"Where the fuck is the body? Are you lying to me again?"

"What do you mean? He's right there. Look.", she started pointing weirdly to the floor in front of them. She looked mad. Almost like there was something there that only her could see.

'Y/n. Where's the body. I'm serious now."

"Right here, Kok. Come closer."

He did. He did come a little closer.

"I would never lie to you. He's right there. Right there."

Still searching for something , Jungkook collapsed on the floor after the strong sting he felt in his neck.

2/7.

#bts #exo #got7 #blackpinga #twice #ioi #pancakes #rrede belvet #1a1 #fanfic #kindasad #fuckboi #smut #angst #sexystuff #uwuw #ariana grande

[theres-no-paradise]

Sorry not Sorry

Chapter 9 

Summary:  A random number wakes you up early on a Saturday morning. But it doesn't stop there. The stranger keeps on sending messages, and you have no idea what is happening, when you start to develop feelings for the unknown person.

Pairings: Tom Holland  x Reader [submit your name: How it works]

Y/N your Name

Word Count:  1415

Warnings: none

A/N: Sorry for the late update. This is more like a filler chapter, with the next one, the main part of the story will start, so we are working ourselves into the plot now! I hope you still like this little short update. :)

Chapter 1  •  Chapter 2  •  Chapter 3  •  Chapter 4  •  Chapter 5  •  Chapter 6  •  Chapter 7  •  Chapter 8 Chapter 10

A few days have passed since Tom had left the country and you were sitting on your sofa, home alone, staring at the little rectangular device on your table. You knew, he was busy filming this new film he had mentioned before during one of your conversations. It excited you a lot, thinking about it but there was also this weird longing inside you. A little twitch in your chest, that always appeared when you thought about Montreal and how far it was away from London. How far away he was. You grabbed your phone and opened the messenger, typing in a quick message for Tom.

You: How’s Montreal?

Once you pressed the send button, you stared a little while on the screen until it automatically turned black. A frustrated groan escaped your lips as you threw yourself backwards on the sofa. It was late in London so it must've been sometime after Lunch in Canada. Maybe Tom had a little break or day off, who knew but you hoped for an answer soon.

It felt like ages and it was close to midnight when your smartphone vibrated and indicated a new message. Tired and a little groggy you got hold of the device and checked out the message, that was shown on the screen. You sighed and rubbed your eyes from the bright light that was irritating your them before you got to read the message.

The Spiderman: Really loving it so far. How have you been?

You: Glad to hear! I’m tired.  And drowning in paperwork. I’d love to burn down my office at some point.

That was true. Work has been very exhausting the past few days and you had to work overtime most days. It was good on one side because it made you think less about Tom. On the other it still didn't matter because even if you had one single thought about him, you knew you missed him. A lot. It was too early to admit though, so you kept quiet about it and tried to avoid this topic at any cost.

The Spiderman: Someone needs holidays

You: not affordable lol

The Spiderman: You can have Tessa. She’s a great Stress relief and that's basically like holidays too :)

Did he really just write that? Did Thomas Stanley Holland offer you to have his dog for stress relief? You sat up in your bed as your re-read the message out loud. You weren't imagining this message but yet you still repeated what he wrote, just in case there could be a misunderstanding.

You: You'd actually allow me to have Tess? Like for real?

The Spiderman: I saw you two together. I trust you with her.

You: You're crazy!

The Spiderman: Well, I tried to help

It seemed that he really meant it but you didn't feel comfortable, having a dog in your apartment that you only met once. It was also unclear if there were dogs allowed on this property anyway, you needed to check that out for sure.

You: If my stress level rises even more, I’ll get back at your offer

The Spiderman: Sure thing! Any Plans tonight?

You laughed at his question as you made yourself comfortable on your bed once again.

You: Nah, just staying in, binge watching Stranger Things

‘And thinking about you’, you thought, but didn't write. It was awful how fast this boy had you curled around his finger even though you tried to tell yourself, that it needed to develop slowly. That was definitely the opposite of careful and slow but whenever you talked to him, you couldn't care less.

The Spiderman: Sounds fun. I’d love to join

And there it was again. The little attempt of Tom flirting with you.

You: I don't think you'd enjoy watching with me

The Spiderman: aww don't say that. I bet I would!

You: I’ll let you try it once

The Spiderman: Promise?

You: Promise.

And after that, you fell asleep peacefully in your sheets, the TV still on in the background.

The Spiderman: I’m bored. Entertain me

You were surprised when you heard your phone buzz as Toms message appeared on the Screen. You didn't expect him to message you so quick after the other night, since its only been a couple of days. Of course your exchange of messages got less than in the beginning but that was only because the two of you were busy working and the time difference didnt make it easy on you either.

You: Got nothing to do?

You messaged back, as you got into the train that’d take you back home from work.

The Spiderman: Sitting around and getting makeup done

You: lol your ugly ass needs makeup

You imagined Tom sitting still in a chair with a woman standing next to him, plastering all kinds of colour on his face to make him look suitable for his role. You giggled at the thought and reacted to the next message, that came in just before arriving at your destination.

The Spiderman: I need to look beat up lmao

You: Don't you always look like that?

There was no response until you got home. At first you thought he might be mad at you but his countermessage made you laugh out loud and you were pretty sure, that Tom was smiling as well.

The Spiderman: Well, I might look beat up but at least I'm no babyface grandma!

You: But even when I'm 50 I’ll still look like 30, So i've got that goin’ for me

The Spiderman: True though. A real keeper

You: Go away

The Spiderman: :)

Groaning, you put your phone back on the table. How was it even possible, that this guy made you laugh so easy? You shook your head in disbelief about Tom's words. Keeper. He said you’re a keeper but did he really mean it that way? ‘Stop Overthinking!’, you scolded yourself but it didn't help. You got this warm fuzzy feeling inside of you and liked it. You started to like the way Tom made you feel and the anxiety about the thought of you two dating started to fade.

It was the middle of the week and you were utterly bored when you arrived back home from work. Not knowing what to do with your time, you grabbed your laptop and started to surf the internet. You went from News sites to Facebook, checked out Twitter and at last you found yourself checking out videos on Youtube. Then something kinda hit you and you typed in Toms Name in the Search bar. ‘Okay, lets see what happens’ you thought, as you pressed the enter tab on your keyboard.

Many videos of Tom in different interviews popped up and you watched through some of them, smiling like a donkey in love. After you’ve seen a few, something else popped into your eyes and with a curious look you clicked the video. You had no idea what would come up next.

You: You have my heart and we'll never be worlds apart

The Spiderman: ??

You: Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star

The Spiderman: Oh no …

You: Baby, 'cause in the dark

The Spiderman: Stop

You: You can't see shiny cars

The Spiderman: I got it

You: And that's when you need me there

The Spiderman: This is hilarious

You: With you I'll always share BECAUSE

The Spiderman: I'm gonna block your number lol

You: When the sun shines, we shine together Told you I'll be here forever Said I'll always be your friend Took an oath that I'm a stick it out till the end

The Spiderman: You've seen the lip sync … I got it

You: You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, EH, EH, EH

The Spiderman: Are you finished?

You: I pissed myself watching it

The Spiderman: Would've loved to see your reaction :D

You: How did you do that?

The Spiderman: What do you mean?

You: The dancing!! Where did you learn to perform like that??

The Spiderman: Uhh, I went to classes and been in a musical? Lmao

You: What are you even??

The Spiderman: :D

You: No seriously. You're unreal. Some Alien or what not

The Spiderman: I can teach you some stuff if you want

You: Nah, I'm a potato. I'm not even able to stand next to you without tripping.

The Spiderman: Noo you’d do great. I'm a good teacher

You: I bet you are

The Spiderman: ;)

Taglist: @hollandorks  @beardedsteveslut @ilivefortomholland @casualprincess77 @agirlwithpointlessideas @isabellamozarella03 @MENDES-HOLLAND @thiswildfire @wastedheartnat @hollandbaby @moonofmy-life @smileylaurens @random-fandom-lady @heartoftheadventure @blackazkaban @augurydemon @homecomjng @punkass-potato @unfoldingdaydreams @thefriendlyneighborhoodspidey @rivedale @tiffanypooh@claraholland

#sorry not sorry #sns #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader

[actuallyadhd]

This is quite long, so I’m putting in a Read More. It is responses to all of the Support Sunday posts for this week. Please note that I don’t necessarily agree with all of the suggestions given here. -J

“ takenforpomegranate’s Submission: Right now my biggest issue is driving. I keep zoning out on the road and since someone stole my radio I don’t have music to put on. To top it off there is no ac in my car. I try to focus but I keep loosing it and I end up running lights, almost hitting cars, etc. I don’t take medication since I’m not diagnosed officially either.”

I am so sorry that someone stole your radio. Is it possible to use one of those old disk music player things, walkman was it and place it on your hip or if you have a smartphone or music devise to play- if not- Is it possible to have maybe a stirring wheel cover that is plush or- I guess you cannot squeeze stirring wheel covers like a stress ball maybe that’s bad advice sorry. Would singing while you drive be good music to play while you drive? I heard some people with adhd need to knit while they watch movies but I suppose singing isn’t knitting. I am sorry about this, about your radio. Are you able to take the bus for now so you don’t get any car crashes? Would a friend mind lending you one or buying you one and you could pay them back? Or do they have an extra or old music device of some kind you could borrow? Sorry if my advice is bad.

“Anonymous’s Submission: I’m really struggling with my temper and impulse control. I can just completely flip out at the drop of a hat and I really upset the people around me. Or I’ll do or say something super insensitive or situationally inappropriate (e.g. blurting something out in my outside voice when I’m indoors) without thinking and I can’t take it back :( then everyone is sad or mad, including me and I’m racked with guilt, shame or embarassment.”

I am also impulsive and have outbursts of anger too. Not that you shouldn’t take accountability for your actions but our brains or I think it has to do with dysfunctions of the excutive function, so your inability to think before- well mine too at times is due to that. Adhd and excutive dysfunction. You yourself aren’t defective, your actions can be not great or awful but that does not mean you are awful. Appologize, then let the hurt party stew over it and decide whether to forgive you. It might hurt. I have impulsively said things in explosive anger that have really hurt people and I feel bad for and some have broken ties with me. I am not nessarily entitled to people keeping up social ties with me, though it’s okay to miss them and grieve if that happens as that’s normal. Anyway where was I going with this? You definitely are not defective at all. There’s a ted talk by Brene Brown called the power of vulnerability and she does another one on shame and her definitions of shame was something like and the person who feels shame thinks “that action makes me defective.” Guilt is something like “my action is bad but I am not bad.”

I was thinking of saying educate your friends about your adhd or send them links abour excutive dysfunction though I am not sure if educating your loved ones and friends about your adhd, say after you accidently hurt them would come off to them as you trying to excuse your behaviour. I have exploded in impulsive anger at percieved slights which is I think because we have adhd I learned off a link off this blog that it can be triggered by rejection- or I think that is due to my rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I am sorry I forget what it is called. There was a great ask I saw a few days ago on this blog about someone’s therapists giving them tips about- what was I getting at? If you believe in any dieties you could pray asking your deity or deities to help you have compassion for your own mistakes, outbursts and other things if that helps whenever you have an unpleasant self hatey thoughts in your head about your actions. I really like this song in Steven Universe called “here comes a thought”. There is one line in it I really like about “it’s just a thought, just a thought just a thought it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. We can watch them go by from here.” I don’t know if this would help but to riff off this line you could say “they are just mistakes” multiple times or “everyone makes mistakes” multiple times and it’s okay it’s okay. Whenever I have uncomfy thoughts or I try to think in my head they’re just thoughts it’s okay. Maybe if you want list the things that have been causing or that sparks the outbursts. You could ask yourself “what is the crappy thing thay caused me anger?” “What is a validating response I might say to a hypothetical friend with adhd that reacted similarly?” Lwhy has this made me made?“ “What is the evidence that this is awful?” “What is the evidence or maybe evidence that this is not as awful as I think?” “What are the silver linings of this that bothered me if any?” “On a scale of 1 to 100 percent how much did this bother me?” “Is there a in the middle thought?” I am sorry if this is bad advice I also struggle with impulsivity and anger issues. Ignore this if this is horrid advice I am sorry. This got long I am sorry.

“ adhdkirabraginsky’s Submission: i’m trying to do research on the 16 colleges in my preliminary list, so i can make a final decision, but it’s turned into the mental equivalent of trying to climb a sheer cliff with no equipment. i know that i need to try to making it less overwhelming, and just focus on one school or even one item at a time, but, easier said than done. i’m also going to try voicechatting w/ some friends while i do it, so i can bounce ideas off of them and have them redirect me when i get distracted.”

Sorry this is overwhelming you could also listen to music or white nouse or ocean sounds while doing all this if this helps you be less distracted.

“Anonymous’s Submission: I’ve been struggling with a project all week, putting it off for other things, and I know it won’t take me THAT long to finish, but I just… I’m having trouble gathering the drive to encourage myself to want to do it… let alone having the energy to actually work on it… I’ve tried both carrot and stick encouragement and… I just don’t care.”

Excutive dysfunction is awful. I sometimes cannot get the motivation at all to do chores or get out of bed. I am sorry you are not finding the motivation. Perhaps rest and do lots of self care and pampering yourself till you do. Are you also exhausted by the project? Maybe this is bad advice and I don’t know if this will build motivation but tasks can be draining of batteries and maybe self care and play fills them back up. I watched a ted talk called the power of play and how a polar bear was hungry and wanted to eat a wolf, or so it said in the ted talk and the wolf was playful so the bear decided not to eat and was amused or something and started to be playful too. You are probably wondering what this has to do with motivation but i think play and self care can maybe build up your mental resources. Don’t be hard on yourself if you cannot complete the project. Are their friends you could ask for help on the project? I read this tumblr post about how when we have trouble with motivation because of excutive function it helped that person to admit there are somethings they cannot do on their own and to get help or something. I am sorry if this didnt help

“ bopbingsoo’s Submission: So I’ve been out of work for the last three weeks and my adhd has made it hard for me to move forward. I feel a bit paralyzed and I’m really struggling in making any efforts in updating my resume, searching for jobs and applying to them. I’m also scared to face the constant rejection that I’ve gotten before when I was applying for jobs as well. I just feel so overwhelmed. ”

I am so sorry you are overworked and understandably overwhelmed. I think taking time to rest when you are working so hard to find a job is important and self care. Your fear of rejection is understandable. And apparently I read a study that the place in the brain where physical pain is and rejection are similar so understandable that you would find that unpleasant. I don’t know if this would work for you or maybe would freak you out more but I heard about cognitive behavioural therapy that there is something called de cautastephize where you think of the worst that can happen and ask yourself how you could plan to cope with worst possible sincerios or something. That might make you more anxious though. I don’t know if using a website called 7cups to talk annoymously or at least I think you can talk annoymously to vouleenteers, havent used it mysrlf but heard good things, anywya if you want to talk about your fears and overwhelment. Possibly taking time to inhale in for maybe five seconds and out five, or slow in and out breaths doesnt have to be five secondly exactly could help your nerves. Also stretching. You could also tense your muscles for ten seconds and then untense them for ten seconds, rounds of this one muscle at a time for ten seconds. I read mindfulness can help with tension and fear feelings but i also heard ir can make some people disassiate. Sorry if this hasn’t helped. You deserve more relaxation and less overwhelment. I hope things look up for you.

“Anonymous’s Submission: I got into my top choice unis and have to decide between them but don’t really know what to do. My mom doesn’t have much confidence in me managing on my own so I’m a bit concerned that I’ll end up failing and very conflicted. At this point I’m almost just trying to figure out which one will be easier for me instead of where will I enjoy being.”

Your mother does not sound very nice about that, is she projecting her own lack of confidence or maybe is she projecting her own confidence issues onto you or issues she had in school onto you or she being overprotective? My parents are massively so and it has made me doubt my abilities. You got accepted into two colleges though, that’s awesome! Congrats! I am sorry your mom is having lack of confidence in you that’s not fun. Well it’s your decision of what’s right for you but if you got accepted for two colleges you must be competent. I dropped out of high school due to struggles with a learning disability and bullying and my adhd. You made it this far in your studies like through school and as long as you do self care, pamper and take care of yourself during college, whatever college you choose will be good for you. I am very influenced by my parents but I am not my parents and I don’t have to be them or defined by their expections of me. We are not our parents expectations of us, we can be our own people and since you got through your high school years though it was probably unpleasant at times I assume you managed your studies decently maybe with assistance and you can do that with your college too. I heard there are councillers in college. Maybe this is dumb advice I am sorry. What I mean is though I love my parents I am not them nor their expectations same as you. Maybe you could list ten things you are competent at for a month everyday.

“Anonymous’s Submission: I’m really struggling with meds rn. I was switched to bupropion in the month before classes ended (and my school health insurance along with them). I think it’s making the executive dysfunction way worse tho bc, while I have one more month left in the rx, I just can’t bring myself to find a new psychiatrist and make an appointment so I can just stop taking this medication already. I know I need to make the appointment so I can safely stop the meds, but i just can’t. I don’t know what to do.”

My parent went cold turkey on the pain meds and then quickly started new ones and they got into a coma and while they are not dead other things caused them to be severely brain injured when they woke up. Be careful going cold turkey. A relative also went turkey off an antidepressant and felt like crap for a week or two. Maybe look up the effects of going cold turkey off your meds, going cold turkey on different meds have different effects. You don’t have to go but be careful. What I mean by cold turkey is just going right off your meds by not slowly weening.

#submission #Anon #ADHD #Actually ADHD #Support Sunday

[celestialallstars]

Episode #6: “Can i PLEASE get a blindside.” - Jared

ok so basically the game has been sooo quiet and ive like.  felt dead. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc of it and i cried on my couch (KNOW THERE WAS A LOT MORE THAN THIS LKSDJGKLDSGLS I WOULDNT CRY PURELY BC OF THAT) but yaaa and now im better but like the entire day i was throwing up in class (or like feeling anxious im exaggerating sorry) about going home.

i didnt want mo out but with that being said i didnt want anyone out?? after i mentioned to him that stephen/mo were targeting each other, rhys came to me with the idea that like him jared chloe and i should make a chat, and i was down for that bc it would secure my positioning and like ALSGKSDG who'd flip on an alliance THIS early.. right?? right..

chloe was really not talkative with me. stephen/jared were active so i appreciate that immensely. im just thrown off. i dont really know who i can or cant trust.

OK ALSO SIDE NOTE CHRIS SENT ME [IM NOT EXAGGERATING] 55+ MSGS SPILLING TEA ABOUT HOW THE TUATHA HAD AN OG ALLIANCE WITH EVERYONE BUT MITCH + MAYNOR - which i knew about but LASKGLDKS AHHHH. and he leaked that stephen wanted kori/bryce targeted and i leaked that to bryce to further stephens target. IM JUST SO MESSY LOL

also i kind of predicted a swap likeee omfg. and i dont know how i feel. i kind of felt safe on my tribe??? but like.. oh no. anyway, my tribe isnt super dominant in challenges or anything (compared 2 the other tribe who has bryce/stephen/drew), but i think we can win a lipsync since we have a woman, gay men, and a metrosexual male who has an outgoing personality (and i mean that in the nicest way obviously). IDK I HOPE WE WIN BC THAT TRIBAL WAS HORRIFIC AND I LOVE MO SO MUCH AND AHH.

ill probs give a video soon in more depth with what chris said. yalls deserve it.. oops period.

I HOPE YALL CAN FORGIVE ME. im eating hotdog. bye bye love u all.

Wow I like the whole tribe! Alyssa is probably my front runner of talking and honestly she's great! I am in her spell ahhhh but hey JARED is here too woo! I think at least with Mitch and Zach too I'll be safe but I'll see! This challenge could either go really well or really badly for us but I'm excited to do anything creativity!!

I absolutly love my tribe at the moment, i'm getting along well with alot of them except Kori who i haven't spoken to much at all but im confident in our abilities to win! Jared is talking a little bit about wanting the game to pick up a little bit and i agree to some extent however blindsiding someone just for the sake of a blindside isn't smart gameplay so im just gonna lay low nd continue making those strong bonds here there and everywhere to hopfully come out on top should we end up at tribal

Can i PLEASE get a blindside

________________________________________________________________

hi it's 6 am but rhys fucking filmed vertically so if we lose he automatically has my vote

I feel good but also scared. I dont think I'll do as good of a job as I hope, but it also is turning out decently so far. My biggest concern is time. With having work tomorrow, I can only do the editing on my lunch break of 90 minutes, then whenever i get home which probably wont be until 6, given the upload time that leaves me with about 3 hours in total. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Rhys and Jack's stuff, as i think it'll be easier for me to do it then. Regardless, I'm gonna be a zombie but LOL this is the second Wednesday in a row I stayed up late except this is not for school and instead of 3 hours, ima get 2 hours of sleep haha that is so sad and funny and heebee jeebee zoinks, alright goodnight

Two things: 1) there's really nothing quite like making a fool of yourself multiple times in a single org, just to be immune for one round. 2) i am horrible at looking for idols

So Matt just told me he thinks we’re gonna have a double tribal right before merge which is like ew I hate that throw it out please, speaking of throwing out uh Kori can go because he’s wearing on my nerves like yes we’re gonna get things done on time calm down please and thanks.

these people are actually delulu if they think that video is winning. no fucking way we are winning. time to go to tribal!

So the swap has happened, and I get what is almost probably my worst case scenario player-wise. All of my close allies, with the exception of Kori, are currently on Cyrena. Meaning that winning immunity isn't even really good, since it puts them in danger.

I think there's a way to make this bad situation good though. Getting to finally work with Michael, Matt, Loris, and Drew can actually be a blessing in disguise. If I get on their good sides now, they might clue me into their plans once merge rolls around. That's the hope, anyway. For now my goal is just to survive being swapped with a bunch of people I've barely spoke to!

The past 24 hours have been major toughie for me. Staying up late and then trying to manage editing a video, work, and time constraints, and I won't lie, its been exhausting, but I didn't want to let my tribe down, or anyone down I guess. A little ways through, I kinda felt pretty defeated and then learning at last minute it was due an hour before I predicted made me panic A LOT internally, but it does seem like the tribe likes it so if we do lose and if they do vote me out, I can look back at this and feel like I did something right.

Well a lots happened and to be honest at times life and this game move too quick for me to even remember if I've mentioned it. We swapped, and I'm trying to just keep myself afloat however I can.

The challenge was overly stressful and I have no idea if we'll pull it out. Editing has been so stressful and I've found new appreciation for the people that do it. I just hope whatever I whip together will just be enough so that I can breathe and really take stalk of my new situation.

So, I haven't been around a whole bunch recently. However I'm glad we didn't go to tribal, that could've been  a reason if my name came up. So I'm glad I have time to more cement my bonds on this tribe and keep my name out of peoples mouths.

We JUST WON IMMUNITY WOOHOO. I was kind of nervous with a music challenge considering the only other one I did previously I did not do the greatest in :P. Both videos were amazing and im so glad Eve and Jones's mom liked ours significantly greater than the other one! As far as my position is concerned, I am reunited with Jared and our relationship is still strong I think so that's good. Stephen I am HOPING will be ok by just latching on to Kori at least for premerge. Those two are still the ones I trust the most, but I also like Alyssa Chris and Zach. I WISH i could connect more with jack, but i feel like every time we play together it gets more difficult to hold a conversation, so that's a yikes. Jared myself and stephen are diligently working on the idol search, but it's likely already found. I'm pretty sure there are too many components for someone to just find it by themselves

WELL. Im a target tonight! God we really do love that for me. We really do. Kori, eat my fucking ass. You leave me on read all the time. And then you have the NERVE. THE ACTUAL NERVE. to be like "omg stop slipping in my dm's!" Boo if you didn't leave me on read constantly then maybe i would actually want to speak to you! an actual moron. And then STEPHEN HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY to me like "ya lol i'll be at tribal i'll make the decision between you and Kori at tribal!". BOI. THAT IS NOT HOW YOU GET TRUST IN SOMEONE. Its fucking ridiculous. Thank god Michael is in my corner, hopefully drew and bryce too. I am NOT getting 15th right now, no way. I am BETTER than this. i am going to make it work, tim gunn style. maybe its time to break the fajitas and channel their energy once again

Why do I go on the initiative literally ever? I'm clearly bad at it, I wasn't even remotely thinking things through and I SHOULD have let Stephen or someone else suggest someone but no I had to be mildly greedy and wanna send home Matt whom I barely DM.

I already flopped editing the video, and now here I am flopping the social/stategy game that I love playing supposedly.

Of course I tried reaching out to Michael and Drew FOOLISHLY because I wanted to build trust and maybe work with them. So naturally Michael tells Matt because ofc they'd be close as would Drew probably since he and Michael have been together since Day 1. As it stands I'm stuck praying Loris is gonna vote with me and it just sucks because I'm so bad at this game.

I'm trying to keep a cool head right now because there's still time. Stephen and I are trying to work logistics, see if we need to switch the vote to say Michael in case of an idol, but I'm not sure Loris/Bryce would be on board for that.

There's a pretty good chance that I'm definitely dead. But I'ma fight to the bitter end!

Today I learned from Stephen that Kori is in some dangerous water. He I guess said Matt's name to Michael who told Matt and now them and Drew are voting Kori. However Bryce and Stephen and perhaps Loris are all voting Matt. Now this is good if it works because honestly that group having to endure their numbers dwindling is good for my game. It only leaves Jack and Alyssa but I think we better be careful because I can see both of them slipping through the inevitable war zone that is gonna be happening.

Today's been a pretty informative day for me. After losing the immunity challenge by a hair, I was worried because I didn't think I had bonded very well with my current tribe through One World, luckily for me, that doesn't seem to be their biggest concern at the moment.

During the initial stages of the vote, I talked to Kori and the two of us decided Matt would be the easiest target to take out. I was leaning towards voting Matt because we hadn't talked very much, so hearing Kori was on board right away simplified things for sure. Bryce and Loris both seem to be on board with it too so I shouldn't have anything to worry about at this point.

In the morning, things got a whole lot more complicated. Matt found out he was the target through Michael, and began his campaign to get Kori out instead of himself. I'm not entirely sure why Michael decided to do this, but it doesn't make much of a difference at this point. Matt campaigned to me, and I sorta pretended to be on the fence. I was listening to what he said, but Kori is realistically one of my closest allies, there's no way I'm voting him out to side with people I had just met.

Once campaign season got under way, I had a conversation with Chris. Chris tells me that on original Orfeo, him, Loris, and Zach believed there was an alliance of Chloe/Sharky/Drew/Michael formed. This explains not only why Sharky was seen as an easy boot on swap-Tuatha, but also why Michael wants to keep Matt instead of Kori. With Chloe re-joining after tribal, him/Drew/Chloe/Matt would form a tight majority. Without Matt, they're a minority.

I proposed an idea to switch the vote from Matt to Michael or Drew. I said it was because I was worried about an idol, but this alliance is the real reason I wanted to do it. However, Kori, Loris, and Bryce are comfortable with the status quo and since it's not my neck on the line I didn't feel the need to push too hard.

Me, Kori, and Bryce now also have an alliance with Loris, which is cool? I haven't gotten very close with Loris yet but he seems like a smart player tied to Chris and Zach which spells good things for us working together in the future. Assuming I survive this vote and have a future, of course.

hi I think I might make it past final 15 that’s nice umm... I suggested an alliance of me Bryce Stephen Kori to counter the potential power of chloe Matt Michael and drew once chloe joins our tribe because my brain is massive. but now we’re like scared for idols . scary shih anyways like how r u I’m good.

________________________________________________________________

oh huh tribes r gonna be even again next round... so I have to make this conf by default just in case of a you know what wait no anna u said no more 24 hour challenges QUEEN ... thank god I can’t be bothered to delete this so she’s being SENT

Right now there's so many things running through my head with the introduction of Matts vote steal, because realistically i could convince him to give to me or i could keep him around as a potential shield. I don't want to do it to the guy but also a vote steal could shift the tides of the game in my favour later down the line. so it's a difficult decision and one id rather have more time to contemplate.

Wooo ok operation vote steal is a go and next round we’ll be swimming in green hopefully but with one world sis og tribe lines just ain’t it!

God im over this tribal. Like ugh these people really are under Kori's mist so like im probably going home. Do I think i might be able to survive? a small glimmer of hope says yes, but i'm not confident. God im just... so annoyed at this. Im clearly on the outs here and I just HOPE i can pull through i just am so scared. I know if i do leave though that I have fought my damn hardest to stay tonight. Im trying to think of the positives because its hard to do so because im being sad atm.. UGH. the fajitas really have failed me tonight, their light has dimmed and their guidance is no more. i am now with the darkness. we r one.

Oh my fucking god my heart is breaking. Matt is basically in such a deep hole he's going to go home, unless he plays an idol. And Alyssa has an idol. And she doesn't think it's smart to use it on him because Michael says he's just gonna go home next round. His social game hasn't been up to snuff and they're gonna boot him regardless, so she wants to keep us with power and let him go. And I agree with her. Which kills me. I'm usually able to just be a robot when it comes to this like yes I will make the smarter decision if it means I'll be emotionally torn, and this is such an instance. Luckily, it's not my idol to give up. Yes Alyssa says it's "our" idol but it's her call end of the day. I just... fuck. This is all stars man. And I'm actually starting to feel, for once.

Well it's about an hour before tribal and at least on it's surface it would seem Matt is going. I'm not confident though because any number of things COULD happen. I'm hoping there's no idol play, just because I feel like pre-merge just isn't a good look for me.

If Matt does pull something off, then kudos to him, and if it's me that'd make this my final confessional for the season. I've had such an amazing time playing and while I feel like I've been playing a lower key game on purpose I feel like I'm doing what I can to really come into my own. I hope the bonds I've made are gonna stick and that everything works out for us.

But if it doesn't I guess I'll have to find a way to be ok with that. This has been such a unique All-Stars experience so far, and I hope I can take what I've gotten from it and make myself better for it. (Also highkey hopefully this isn't my last confessional and I'm getting sentimental for no reason.)

________________________________________________________________

Kori is voted out 4-3.

#shinebright #episode

[lazytacomoon-blog]

Why do we call Obamacare healthcare? It isn’t! It is health INSURANCE!?”

"Why do we call Obamacare healthcare? It isn't! It is health INSURANCE!?""

And those with this insurance find it very difficult to find health CARE because doctors and hospitals will not take this horrible convoluted insurance.  Even when they FIND doctors and hospitals who WILL take this monstrosity"",I would recommend that you try this internet site where you  can compare quotes from different companies:""

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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What is the payment you make to the insurance company called?

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Where can i find cheap renters insurance in nj?

Why isn't the Affordable Healthcare Act more like car insurance?

I'm just wondering why no one thought to copy how car insurance works to work with healthcare. Think about it, we'd save a lot on government spending. Those who buy healthcare, are covered through insurance. If you don't buy healthcare, it is up to you to buy it, and if you're asked to show proof of health insurance and don't have it, you're fined. It's simple, easy, and perfectly understandable by anyone. So.. if it works for car insurance... why wouldn't it work for health insurance?""

How can I find affordable auto insurance quote online?

How can I find auto car cheap insurance quote?

""Young married couple, low cost health insurance with Rx?""

I'm going to get married soon (not RLY soon but i have to start thinking about some things in advance) and I have to get health insurance. I'm really confused by it but I've been doing some reading about it and some figures about the kind of finances we are going to have and all I really know at this point is that we can't afford more than 200 dollars per month and that has to include prescriptions and everything. My soon to be husband is really healthy, only real issue is near-sightedness. I'm a little more sickly, I have asthma and allergies and the same eye problems. I keep them all pretty much under control but I need my meds. What plan would be best for us so that we can keep costs low and still get me my Rx?""

In North Carolina...How Do Get A Car && Insurance??

In What Order Do I Have To Get A Car My Licence && Insurance??

Can I use my car that is under my dads car insurance?

Since i'm a new driver and 18 years old. My insurance rate will be up and can be very expensive. Can my dad just put his name and stuff on my soon to be new car? (Subaru BRZ) after all he is paying for it so technically it's his I guess lol

How much would the insurance cost with a 17 year old male driving a 1987 ford bronco 4X4 v8?

just wondering because i might buy one as a driving project truck

Does this car legally have insurance?

My friend just purchased a new car and the temporary registration Is in her name but the car is insured under her moms policy without her listed as an additional driver. So if she is stopped by police will they coincided this car insured or uninsured? Also when it's time for her permanent registration will the state accept a proof of insurance on the car without her name on it? We live in Georgia by the way.

Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?

I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""

Why do we call Obamacare healthcare? It isn't! It is health INSURANCE!?""

And those with this insurance find it very difficult to find health CARE because doctors and hospitals will not take this horrible convoluted insurance.  Even when they FIND doctors and hospitals who WILL take this monstrosity"",I would recommend that you try this internet site where you  can compare quotes from different companies:""

Is it better to cancel health insurance when it reaches $1700/Month for a young family of four?

Is it better to cancel health insurance when it reaches $1700/Month for a young family of four?

Blue Cross/Shield health insurance?

Is this Insurance corporation a good one or a bad one to have as a health care plan?

Car Insurance Questions?

How Much Would Car Insurance Cost Approximatly For A 27 Yr Old Male With An Owned Vehicle? Do You Pay Every Month Or How Does It Work?

How long can you take leave for NJ short term disability?

I've been at my current job since December so I am ineligible for FMLA. However, I understand that short term disability for pregnancy gives you 4 weeks prior to your anticipated due date and then 6 weeks after. Is this correct? Can this amount of time change if your company uses a private insurance plan vs submitting directly through the state.""

What would my insurance be for a kia forte?

him im 16 im a male i want a kia forte lx all black, it would be my first car what would my insurance be""

How much should an 18 year old female pay for car insurance?

I live in Nevada and am 18 years old,I am paying 1,000 for a six month premium.so thats like 200 dollars each month.I thought that was normal but then all my friends were telling me I was paying too much.One of my friends pays only 1,300 for a full year and she has a brand new car and is younger than me.I have a used 1995 honda passport.And its only liability im paying.I have been in no wrecks at all and have had no tickets.My driving record is clean.My friends were shocked,they said i was getting ripped off,they told me I should only be paying like 100 dollars a month.is this true?Even when I had my older car i was still paying 200 a month and it was an old 1988 beat up honda with liabilty and that doesnt sound right at all.my other friend as an old car and pays 80 a month.Im with a local company and i went with it because my parents told me it was the cheapest and I figured they were right, I figured all the bigger companies life state farm and progressive would be more.""

Will this decrease/increase my insurance rate?

#NAME?

How much will my insurance go up with 4 speeding tickets in 1 and 1/2 years?

I just received my fourth and fifth speeding tickets in the past year and a half. Yes, I know that is completely ridiculous. I am still covered with my parents auto insurance and while my license is not suspended, my parents will not allow me to drive anymore if they find out about them. I attended traffic school for 1/5 citations, so it should not show up to my insurance company. Does anybody happen to know how much my insurance rates will increase with these last two tickets, or if they will even still cover me? Thanks!""

Can someone help me with car insurance?

i am 16 years old. live in louisiana. birthday march 20th. completed drivers ed. probably going to drive a 2006 nissan sentra. and i was wondering how much my monthly insurance rate would be? if i would get it in my name? i am expecting it to be pretty expensive.

Does anyone know of any kind of affordable health insurance?

My husband works independantly and needs health insurance in the Atlanta area.

Are you going to purchase health insurance as required by law ?

Now that the public option is off the table ? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul Where's the guarantee that it will become affordable ?

What is the cheapest auto insurance in texas ?

What is the cheapest auto insurance in texas ?

How much is insurance for mopeds?

i dont want specifics but what is the range? More that car insurance,same less?Is it really worth it?""

Need help on polo 2004 1.4 car insurance and road tax?

hi can anyone tell me or give an estimate how much the polo 2004 1.4 will cost me for insurance and tax, am 21 and this will be my first car help""

Car insurance--rates hiked after filing claim for hit & run?

do car insurance companies hike your rates if you file a claim for someone else doing hit & run damage to you? I've heard stories of car insurance companies doing that--even if ...show more

Car Insurance - Do I have to pay it all at once?

It's that time...I'm looking at cars. But as a student, I'm trying to keep costs low because currently I don't have tons of money. What I'm wondering is, for the car insurance, do I have to pay it all at one time or could I pay it in monthly installments?""

Can I get earthquake inusrance for my fish tank?

Does such a thing exist? I live in Southern California and people keep saying we're due for a big one and Im pretty sure it would break my tank.

Drivers test question - Getting insurance before taking the drivers test is required. where is the cheapest?

Hello, I am 18 years old (turning 19 next week) and I am ready to take my drivers license. But before taking my driving test, It is required that I have insurance for my car (my dads car). So, I was wondering - where can I get the cheapest car insurance in California? I did check on Geico, but their alittle too expensive. PS: my permit expired by July 19th, so I have to hurry. So please, help me out! even the slightest information can be very helpful! Thanks""

Why is my insurance so cheap?

I am a 19 year old male, and I own a 2011 Nissan Altima SL. I live in Baltimore City (which has the highest rates in the state) and have a speeding ticket and a not at fault accident. I carry 100/300/100 coverage with matching 250 deductibles. I also have vanishing deductible, accident, and minor violation forgiveness. I pay 172.00 per month. I thought I could save a few bucks and switch companies, however, I quoted literally every company available in MD and the lowest I found was 580 a month for the same coverages. Thats a HUGEEE difference! I am starting to wonder if something is wrong with my policy. I have had it about a year with no issues, and my not at fault claim went through smoothly. I am the sole policy holder, and no, my family is not with Nationwide either... What could cause such a difference? Any ideas?""

How much will a small tooth chip cost without insurance?

I live in Southern California just so you can get an idea... Okay, last night I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and laying down in front of him. As he was going to take a drink from his glass I stretched and accidentally elbowed his drink and heard CLANK! and he got up to spit some stuff out of his mouth. The chip isn't big at all and it's on the front, left tooth on the outer corner. It's very small (almost unnoticeable if you're more than 2-3 feet away and he's smiling big) and it LOOKS as if it would be an easy fix. I have assured him that I will pay for it as he owns a barber shop and his presence is important to him and I feel very badly. How much do you think this fix (looks easy!) would cost me without insurance AND do dentists take payments? I am getting dental/medical from my work in a couple of weeks but I don't think it would cover him. Please let me know and sorry this is long!""

What is the required age for a young driver to drive a VW T4 or T5?

What is the minimum age limit to drive either a T4 or a T5 VW van and does anyone know a rough estimate on how much the insurance would be?

Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

I have just phoned to change my insurance over to another car, and was told twice that it was declined - firstly, he said due to the group of insurance, and secondly, I was told that the operator had a system problem. I am a bit concerned as I know my credit rating is bad at the moment, but I am trying to better it, and I don't know if this is why my insurance was declined? I thought that they had to tell you if they carry out a credit search, but nothing was mentioned and I don't particularly want it going against me if it was searched twice. I have paid my insurance for the year, and was going to pay any extra instantly, so there would be no need for a credit search as far as I can see. Does anyone have any more information on whether they credit search you or not for this?""

What type of insurance should I have for my cars?

My husband and I are trying to pay off some debt and we think we're paying too much for auto insurance. What coverage limits should we have? We have a 2001 Ford F250 and a 2000 Ford Excursion that are both paid for. Both have small amounts of body damage, not that noticeable but we know we're there. We will likely only turn in a claim if they get totaled. We've thought about going down to the state minimum but not sure how risky that is. We turned in a hail damage claim last year and had a horrible experience with it. Right now our coverages are: Bodily injury $250k/$500k Property damage $250k Medical Expense $100k Uninsured/Underinsured Injury $250k/$500k Uninsured/Underinsurued Property Damage $100k Right now we pay $543 every six months.""

Are insurance rates different for a lifted Toyota Tacoma rather than a normal one?

I know i'm getting a used Toyota Tacoma, under 100K mileage, and I really want a lifted one, but I need to know if insurance rates are different?""

Insurance after admitting responsibility car crash?

i have admitted responsibility at the scene when i crashed my car into someone elses. i have since found out that it will make my insurance go up horrendously. yikes!! how much is my insurance likely to go up? im worried

Why do we call Obamacare healthcare? It isn't! It is health INSURANCE!?""

And those with this insurance find it very difficult to find health CARE because doctors and hospitals will not take this horrible convoluted insurance.  Even when they FIND doctors and hospitals who WILL take this monstrosity"",I would recommend that you try this internet site where you  can compare quotes from different companies:""

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-dental-insurance-clarksville-tn-donald-harris/"

[dazedsapphic]

its like lets break down my revelation from the beginning of our falling out to the end i realise now, when i didnt before, that he was having a mental breakdown. he told me. and i did not realise. they can happen anywhere at any time, but i did not realise. because this had never happened before. because he had yelled at me before like that, over the same thing - my buddhist practice. it was my fault that i did not realise, but those words he said to me were still said, and they still had emotional impact that i could not handle. he knows i am not good with death. anyone who knows me knows i am not good with death. i have had death - suicide - threatened and attempted in my presence too many times to be okay with it. he was having a mental breakdown. but that does not change a thing that was said or done. it does not change what he threatened. it does not change the names he called me. it does not change that i now understand his feelings. i had a mental breakdown that night because i did not realise he was having one. i was terrified because the one thing that quickly sends me into relapse, into panic, that really triggers me - is death and suicide. he was having a mental breakdown. that does not change the fact that i did, too. our relationship was that of a dependent and their codependent. i realise that i could have done things differently. i could have done what he told me to do - not take care of him constantly, not cater to him. he told me not to, because it would not help things. but i did it anyways, because that is what i thought needed to be done. i hid my feelings. "you're not overbearing. you're not doing anything wrong. it's okay. i'm not overwhelmed." because i knew. i had told him once before that i was overwhelmed and stressed because of him - because of our financial situation, and he was sent into turmoil. every time he did something and i expressed distaste, that is what would happen. he would say things like "i know im shit. i know im overwhelming. i hate myself too. sorry im such a burden" etc. he may genuinely have felt that way. but also, those were guilting statements. which made me continuously want to reassure him that he had nothing to feel bad over, even if i was hurting or exhausted. he told me to tell him when my feelings are hurt by him. i did once. he made a joke, as he always does, and i looked at him, and i frowned, and i told him he had been a little rude to me. he got pissed. he called me a "sensitive asshole" who "couldn't take a joke." he refused to admit that he might have been offensive. i let it go. whenever i didn't want to do something with him, he would get upset, talk about how i'm not doing a certain thing with him constantly, and then bring it up over and over again after he came back, as if i was obligated to him. he would bicker with me about it. when i went to temple on sundays is when he seemed most displeased. i know he hates the idea of religion, but one should remain respectful all the same, as it is helping me and has allowed me to establish strong connections. i wonder if he disliked it less for its practice and more for the fact that it took my time away from him. i would drop plans for him. come home for him. make breakfast for him. pay for everything without a second thought. make sure he had what he needed. make sure he had what he wanted. ruined most of my relationships with other people for his sake, yet it wasn't enough. and i recognise some of this is my fault. i let him do this to me by coddling him. i let him depend on me so much that it drained me. neither of us wanted this. he did not want to depend on me and i did not want to get so tired. but that is what happened. and i let it happen because i felt obligated for it to be that way. as soon as i started to pull back from him and take a second for myself is when things became troublesome. i decided to leave the day he made that threat towards me, because that was my final limit. i recognised that inadvertably, the situation had become abusive. it shouldn't have, and i know he did not intend for it to resemble such. but when you are stick in a codependent relationship, that is what it becomes. abuse. mental and emotional. that is almost never the intention. he told me i triggered him for calling him an abuser, but i my eyes, that is what he did to me even if he does not see it. his jokes were cruel and he would not apologise even if i appeares upset. he would yell at me for practicing buddhism. he continuously badgered the idea that our friends were not good into my head (they're fine, by the way.) he would fight me whenever i wanted time to myself. he would sometimes guilt me for it. he would guilt me for other reasons to. he would sometimes gaslight me if we were arguing. all of this is due to his mental illness and myself being his codependant. but that does not change the fact that it happened. i could be his friend. spend time with him. take care of him. be with him. but i could not live with him, and i realised that too late. i am not emotionally capable currently to take care of someone else. let us talk about how i "screwed him over." our deposit was $624. i paid $400 of it, his parents paid the rest. june rent was $799. i paid all of it. july rent was $799. i paid $450. august rent is (i think?) $300 or around there. august is what i did not pay. just the other day when we had gone to kelley's island, before i decided to move out, he told me he "didn't care about credit card debt anymore" but the moment he is left to pay $300 by himself, it suddenly becomes an issue. he did not seek a job until june, and he did not get that job without my help. he "put in applications" over spring semester. if i remember correctly, he only put in four. the entire semester and put it off. he did not search. he did not put in the effort. he did not work to save what money he made at work, despite having made less than i had. i had money to spend and he did not. it is not "my fault" and i did not "screw him over" wheb by this logic, making $180 every two weeks at his (our) workplace, or more, he would have enough for rent. he is only staying 10 days into august. if he was so concerned with rent, he should have moved in with his parents. they wanted him to and stated such in front of me. i moved out because i could not handle it. everything that was done to me may have been unintentional. it may have been due to his mental state. it may not have been. but regardless, it does not change the emotional toll ot took upon myself as well. he agreed with me that this is the best decision for both of us, yet he continues to say cruel things. he told me to leave and threw all of my things into the living room, yet he is surprised that i left. he threatened to "show me crazy" yet didn't understand why i did not speak to him and spent all of my time outside of the apartment. he told me he had apologised for what he had done. but he never said "i'm sorry." he told me he had done it in his own way, i just didnt see it. tell me, if you do not perceive an apology as such, was it even given? attacking me and telling me how i am wrong, and then using words to guilt me is not an apology. "im not using my mental illness as an excuse," he says, then going on to say that his mental illness makes him do it. he sent his friends after me on social media, when i simply made an observstion. "everyone blocked me." i wasnt pissed off or sad. there was simply no need to go to those lengths. subtweeting me, sending people after me - acts of pettiness. threatening to throw all of my shit out, to remove me from the lease, to "show me crazy" and "make my life hell" - even pettier. yet he called my silence and refusal to speak to him "passive aggressive" and "mean." i did not want to start more conflict and it was the easiest solution. i am not mad. i do not regret our friendship. i do not hate him. no one hates him. i wish i had done things differently. i wish he did not have to suffer. i am just shaken, and i am a little sad. it was not just my fault. it was not just his fault. both of us were in the wrong.

#personal