#anyways. anyways.

[scintillyyy]

alright, here it is: the crocky jr!tim au nobody, and i mean nobody, asked for (for u, @zahri-melitor)

so we start our au at a very good place to start: croc "kills" tim during J:LL

except, he doesn't kill tim. he almost does, he beats him up pretty badly, and then snaps out of his jokerization seeing a beat up kid. croc then decides to enter a "protect kids" era, and disappears with an unconscious tim into the sewers.

meanwhile, huntress just finds some bones and tim's robin costume, clearly destroyed by croc. they think tim has been killed by croc, but killer croc is nowhere to be found

and they have more pressing issues: dick has gone to kill the joker

which he does, just before bruce et al show up. bruce throws dick off the joker and starts cpr. dick finally realizes what he's done.

however since tim is "dead" due to joker jokerizing all the villains, this leads to a major rift between bruce and dick. dick can't look at anyone because he killed the joker and because tim is dead. he goes on a self-destructive bender because of this in particular dick fashion partially due to how he *thinks* bruce is handling it, or lack thereof.

because bruce has done an analysis of the body and has realized that the body they found is *not* tim. does he tell anyone this? no ofc not. because he wants to find tim before he tells anyone he thinks tim might actually be alive. he's bruce. he's not known for good decisions. he does pay a large amount of money to send the brentwood boys to a semester in, like. switzerland to hide tim's "death" from jack. this is one thing that dick does NOT approve of, he thinks they should tell jack. this furthers the wedge between them. let's just say that bruce. doesn't adopt dick at this time. it's not a good time.

meanwhile tim has amnesia from his beating and lives in the sewers with killer croc. he kind of thinks croc is his dad and if there's one thing that can't fix his eternal sense of duty and tendency to make himself suffer it's amnesia. so he wants to help his dad. so he gets a costume--he is no longer tim drake, robin. no. he is now crocky jr. fear killer croc and his new sidekick.

we're actually going to insert steph-robin here because she thinks her boyfriend died & becomes robin to avenge him. dick also doesn't like what he feels is her swooping in to replace tim before he's even cold in the ground which is also why he's avoiding gotham. however, this doesn't work out super long for her, not because she makes a mistake but because bruce gets framed for murder and steph gets left out in the cold. this also completely sidetracks bruce's looking for tim thing he's got going on. which leaves tim as crocky jr.

so we're in a very bad place here. dick is depressed and destroying himself and hasn't even come back to help with the bruce thing, bruce is in jail for murder, steph is out in the cold, and tim is now a supervillain sidekick with amnesia. thank god helena and dinah and babs and cass still exist.

because huntress has been on a rampage for killer croc on account of she thinks he murdered robin. she finds him...and his new sidekick, who she recognizes right away. she tries to get through to him but he doesn't remember her :( but he does still try and stop killer croc from hurting her, even if he can't explain why he doesn't want her hurt

she's like "wtf do i do here" and eventually settles on calling oracle who's like "gdi. we need to call nightwing". since nightwing is currently not talking to anyone in gotham she sends dinah and cass to go beat him up and tell him robin is still alive.

bruce broke himself out of jail. he is being thoroughly ignored. he's okay with that. sorry bruce. babs is trying to investigate the fairchild murder on her own with cass, but. bruce is not making it easy.

anyways nightwing comes back. he fights croc for tim. tim doesn't recognize him until dick does a quadruple somersault and then all of tim's memories come back

which, now he's one the side of good! but he's still terrible fond of killer croc now. killer croc took care of him. he'll always be a little bit crocky jr. forever even as he makes his return to the robin mantle :)

i suppose now that tim's back they all band together to prove bruce innocent. after bruce gets his head out of his ass, he's also like "yea i knew you didn't die tim". dick punches him into the memorial case.

#tim drake #anyways. anyways. #i hope you enjoy this silly little thing

[boywifesammy]

me up at 3 am thinking about how spn writers coded sam winchester as a genderqueer SA survivor using ingenious metaphorical plotlines that evaded early 2000’s media guidelines and the only people who understand this are the crazies on tumblr that want to cannibalize the main characters

#oc #supernatural #spn #spn meta #sam winchester #queer sam winchester #this show makes me go nuts #did they KNOW? did the writers know what they were doing #when they wrote lucifer and the cage and sam getting violated in every possible way #AND THE DEMON BLOOD PLOTLINE? #and the thousands of ways that it can be analyzed #sam’s low self image. his toxic relationship with ruby. needing to have control over his own body. #feeling inherently wrong. being villanized for addiction. how addiction has highs and lows #anyways. ANYWAYS.

[genderificationbeam]

gerard and joan // vampires will never hurt you, our lady of sorrows, bill and ted et al

#gerard way #my chemical romance #joan of arc #i brought you my bullets you brought me your love #proof joan of arc was trans #anyways. anyways. #our lady of sorrows #vampires will never hurt you #bill and ted #winona ryder #et al.

[kamariya]

i want to read girl interrupted meta i want to read girl from nowhere meta i want to read black swan meta i want to read gone girl meta i want to read Jennifer's body meta i want 'sad girl', 'female rage' and 'good for her' medias to be treated with respect instead of being reduced to an aesthetic, fuck it

#swan stuff #anyways. anyways. #girl interrupted #girl from nowhere #black swan #gone girl #Jennifer's body #YOU SEE HANNIBAL META. SO WHY NOT THESE

[loveofastarvingdog]

oral fixation guy posting about a fictional character's flaccid cock. this doesn't mean anything btw i just think the penetration game in this podcast is insane. tubes in cocks and thermometer up the dick and pulling out catheters etc etc.

#timothy's txts. #crazy how the penetration is never. well it's never in a sodomy way it's very often in a sounding way. i will not explain and yes i am sorr #for saying these things. #the ONE time. when he stabbed his hand. that was interesting. also not going to be crazy guy but uhhhh that was for gordon... #anyways. anyways. #journey through the red valley 💥🥩 #minors dni #nsft

[the--firevenus]

What I would give for more male merlin x valen rn kabsownslsnd dura please bless me with speed and motivation to draw them more often cuz I'm STARVING rn

#I'm... In shamble.. I need... Iahsjsbwkd #venus rambling #valen x merlin #valmer can be their ship name but I'm 89% that's also some real person /character name somewhere too lol #Anyways. Anyways.

[bugging-robot]

Gonna be honest, lads. I don’t really mind the little spindly spiders that reside in the corners. They’re not scary and they usually hide away and mind their business.

HOWEVER.

The ceiling space above my bed is not a maternity ward. Get outta here.

#spider #real bugs #lmk any other trigger tags I need to add #also sorry for the visual nightmare of a spider on a popcorn ceiling #awful to look at and decipher #anyways. ANYWAYS. #UM. EXCUSE ME??? DISGUSTANG #ugh they’re usually so skinny and liddol and now you’re LARGE and VISIBLE enough for me to take a picture and post it

[tallytals]

barbie,,,,,,, wukong,,,,,,,,,,, swk barbie,,,,,,

#monkie kid #tally talks #i saw the movie like a week ago and oUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHH #i have ideas #or vibes i guess its really just vibes #anyways. ANYWAYS. #loz has me by the throat but i managed to escape long enough to think abt smth that wasnt related to them #them being zelda and link and the champions and mipha and sidon and ZELDA and LINK AND ZELDA AND ZELDA AND ZELDA

[buckttommy]

being a girl is actually The bravest thing a girl can do

#jack.txt #anyways. anyways. #time to read

[kindledrose]

grian 🤝 jonathan sims

- british guy who Watches 

- wears those sweaters + glasses that are fun to draw 

- funky colored eye imagery

- can and will mess with stuff they Absolutely Should Not Mess With

- cat energy

- needs to sleep

#- blorbo material #do people draw jonathan sims with wings? #they should. just because of this #you gotta give him the wings w the eyes all over them yknow!! grian hermitcraft style #anyways. anyways. #tma #hc #<-- purely organizational tags nobody is going to see this haha

[traumxrei-archive]

DEER IZUMI GET !!!

IM SO HAPPY ??? i did a 10 pull bc i didn't wanna wait for the free ten pull (i was dead set on getting him anyway—)

BUT HE CAME ??? he's actually here. the lights turned rainbow and i was just chanting in my mind "pls new di, pleaseeee new di–" and it was and i was like "PLAY IZUMI'S VOICE PLEASEEE" AND IT WAS ACTUALLY HIM DHDHFHHFB

ig i'll use the free 10 to get the nazuna card or wish on other scouts :'))) <- happy tears bc i saved a lot of dia for the upcoming eventsss yyayyyy <333

#/trau rambles #WHAT THE FUCK #GACHA PAYNE #except it's Gacha Ws #A WIN IS A WIN !!! #anyways. anyways. #i need to post my actual update on what i've been up to lmao #enstars #izumi sena

[boywifesammy]

s5e11 sam, interrupted is THE EPISODE. it’s a fucking cinematic pipe bomb. watching it is like chewing on glass and swallowing propane. it is wonderful, it is amazing, it is EXCRUCIATING and i love it. allow me to explain.

(under the cut because i ended up rambling lol)

like, yes… it is extremely ableist. it is extremely offensive. it is an overdone harmful caricature of psych wards and horrific to watch but that is EXACTLY what makes it so good. i’ve never seen spn as a horror show but man this episode?? the psychological distress of it, the unease, the dereality??? it has me frothing at the mouth.

as someone who has tics and PTSD i have first hand experience being labelled as Crazy so that’s the lens i’m coming at this from. this episode is most definitely not a reliable source for mental health info but the way they portrayed martin’s character kinda got me. him stuttering over certain words, his general paranoia, how they clearly address that he went through a deeply traumatic event but that he’s still useful as a hunter even though he can’t do the things he used to before. i don’t think the writers intended for this episode to be viewed the way i did but man i am shaking it around in my cranium like a snow globe.

just the first few minutes of it is insane. dean acknowledging that sam was high on demon blood and that the apocalypse wasn’t his fault. seeing the absolute absurdity of the show in perspective with real life. dean admitting to his psych doctor that he's an insomniac, alcoholic, and incapable of holding long-terms relationships with his usual blase nonchalance, then immediately clamming up when she hits him with the "let's talk about your father." ??!!! i know dean is The daddy issues character but i love when they call him out like that.

and how can i Not point out the blatant assault and objectification… wendy forcefully making out with both sam AND dean. them both getting probed by the fucking monster of the week not even 10 minutes into the episode. SAM BEING TIED DOWN. i cannot explain to you how much i love seeing him restrained. the moment i saw sam tied down and angry i literally vibrated out of my skin that boy must be helpless and restrained more often it is beautiful.

on a sort of related note: high sam. yes. just yes. the little nose boop. him telling dean I Love You. getting all emotional about how much he cares about his brother. the themes of his autonomy being stripped. him being drugged up against his will when he’s a recovering drug addict????? INSANE.

also one thing that really stood out to me was dean being diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious delusions. which, yes, is inaccurate, but seems more like a misinterpretation of his PTSD symptoms. dean isn’t schizophrenic but he IS paranoid and he’s trained himself so thoroughly to weaponize his feelings that even to HIMSELF he seems narcissistic, when he’s really just scared and desperate. he externalizes his self-hatred as this overfed bravado but it’s because if he was honest about how he felt about himself the guy would simply fall apart.

expanding on that note… sam&dean meta on how they react to trauma & grief. dean immediately clams up and becomes anxious and terrified. he shrouds himself in so much false confidence but he genuinely hates himself so fucking much. so much that he just sits with his pain because he thinks he deserves it, while sam wants to externalize. he’s angry and that scares him because of what’s in his blood but the truth is that he has every right to be angry. he wants to be gentle but he has so much repressed rage that it bursts out of him and leaves him terrified in the aftermath. dean on the other hand wants to be angry but he’s so scared and critical of himself that he shuts down.

and the ending. my god the ending. dean telling sam to wrap it up and stuff it down. it’s excruciating to watch because dean’s advice is fucking shit but it’s also heart-breaking because it puts into perspective just how much these boys have on their conscience.

they PHYSICALLY cannot deal with their trauma. it is so awful and overwhelming that they could not function if they remembered it, so they forget about it. they push it down. they hide it away, and it’s so fucking refreshing to have an episode that acknowledges that they do that because THAT IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE. it is quite literally a SURVIVAL tactic. people who are severely traumatized will wipe their memory of traumatic events because they cannot function with it in the peripheral. this is a clear manifestation of sam and dean’s PTSD and how when they’re faced with these problems, their emotions take over and they completely lose themselves, whether that’s due to fear or rage.

the horror of this episode isn’t the wraith. it isn’t the silly little monster sucking out people’s brains. it’s the thing inside you. it is the imagery of these people hanging or with slit wrists being passed off as suicidal because they’re mentally ill. it is the ugly truth of trauma and the ways it twists your memory and self-worth. it is the inherent belief that someone is worthless if they are psychotic or paranoid. it’s the way the episode puts that perspective on sam and dean, shows them what it’s like to hallucinate and drags up their own repressed memories and puts them on full display. it is TRULY horrifying and it is GRIM and NASTY because it is about the human psyche and the horrible ways it can be twisted. it’s a fucking phenomenal episode if you can read the subtext and get past the whole “scary psych ward bad” wrapping.

#oc #supernatural #spn meta #episode analysis #spn 5x11 sam interrupted #sam and autonomy #dean winchester #sam winchester #tw ptsd #tw sui talk #tw sa #tw drugs #hello :) #tagging triggers because this one is a bit of a doozy #i went a little bit crazy watching this episode could you tell #i am very sorry to dump my ramblings on your dash but HEAR ME OUT HERE— #anyways. ANYWAYS.

[kirnet]

Rereading w*yhaven book 1 bc I miss tea so much and girl… UB is truly awful arent they lmao

#i mean like the complete no action that allows a bunch of people to get killed + they don’t really care all that much + the lying and #thwarting the investigation #+ the fact the narrative never allows you to really push back on any of it #like tea immediately discovers the ‘undead’ blood. like she knows there’s some weird shit going on #if these chucklefucks just told her what was up from the get go she would have fixed this situation in 2 days tops #anyways. anyways. #ramblings

[zorelle]

I feel myself changing interests 😞 unfair. I made a life here where tf do I go now 😩

#spnblr #... Sad! #the fucking prequel didn't help #half my dashboard is filtered these days #I feel like I really WANT to want. to be here lol #on the other hand my mental spn is so far off the original material that watching it is like upsetting lmao idk #and I never got to work on it fr I was planning on doing it next year I have a fic mapped out like 😩 let me still be interested #Nov 5 is literally in a couple of days let me have that at least😭 #Pleeeasee *gets dragged out the door by pure dread personified as a bodyguard just doing his job* #anyways. anyways. #this is fine I'll be fine #😩

[sweetnessfollowsmp3]

hiii mutuals i haven’t been that active in a few days bc i am going through it a little bit

#i’m at a summer program and it’s so goddamn exhausting #don’t get me wrong i’m incredibly lucky to be here #but i’m having to mask all the time and i am so tired #and idk how to explain this but i’m masking so hard i kind of dissociate? #i’m acting so different than i actually am that when i look in the mirror i have a weird moment where it’s not me i’m looking at #anyways. anyways. #negativity #rant tw

[babydarkstar]

okay science poll how many of you who like pedro pascal have a dad that looks like him. additionally how many of you have issues with said father

#i just ahad an epiphany while thinking abt my type in men #and boys ive crushed on in the past. #tan skinned dark hair from somewhere close to the equator #anyways. #also he could literally be my dad like he’s 3 years younger than My Father #anyways. anyways. #kms.