#as if I don't constantly feel like shit about it. i want my school work done too. i just. can't focus. can't sleep. can't do anything. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 1 year

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there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo

and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".

it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.

and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.

there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society

at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this

and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".

hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.

the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy

and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.

and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?

#writeblr #warm up #this is something im legit still unpacking the effects of #btw this is one of those intersectional feminist blogs #gender plays a role but let's be honest - this silencing comes from disrespect which can come from MANY things #white women will do it to women of color #it exists in many forms and permutations #but fuck that video made my blood run COLD #you know it's bad out there when my HORRIFICALLY right-wing trad cath father even admitted ''it's bad out right now''

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wachtelspinat · 4 months

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i can't help but feel like my drawing days are kind of over. not entirely, i'll still be drawing from time to time. and deffo not because i want to. but i'm having this exact same feeling since mid 2022, since i was really struggling with my elective period, i kind of disconnected with art there and never truly found my way back. on top of everything that came after - moving, starting a job and working to be good at it which leaves such little room for other things because i can't handle my life well - there is just so much horrible shit going on. and i'm having a hard time comprehending it.

a part of me also feels very stupid for drawing one thing for almost 4 years now constantly, but another part of me knows "hey, but this makes you happy". it's a constant battle in my head because online spaces are like school grounds, and i don't actually wanna stand in the corner as that one kid that just can't shut up about that one character. but then again all i ever did was drawing fanart so... what does it. who gives a shit. be cringe and be free alright. but it kinda feels so hollow, esp. when you're at it for so long. a lot of mutuals move on. some are not even active anymore anywhere. and i wonder what happened. plus a huge chunk of the tone of the fandom has changed. also with the source material getting butchered so hard (since the release of ow2) it just kills the fun. playing this game used to be fun. playing this game was one thing that helped me getting through the last meters of university. it's like watching the downfall of the simpsons again without making the comparison too set in stone, just... this thing that used to be decent and nice and watching it getting ruined in real time (broken promises about pve, the recent gameplay changes?? the lore was fucked up from the start but they kind of tried, now it's just skins for 20+ dollars) while still having feelings for the characters is shit. anyway...

i recently went through a big folder of stuff i'd drawn at the age of 12-15 and there were so many fucked up but cool monster and cyborgs designs and just silly stupid stuff and all i could think of was that i felt so distanced from it, like i don't even know i think this is normal? because a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened and i knew i've drawn all this but i wasn't able to locate the person who did in my present me now and... it's just so normal that things move constantly forward but i feel like i missed huge chunks and passed a few stops and now i'm kind of lost.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore. i just feel sad because it feels like sth is slipping out of my grasp or sth has changed tremendously and i don't know how to make damage control.

i keep trying tho, i try to draw once a week at least. it's just like as soon as i take a step back and look at it i don't feel it at all. gonna continue tho, until it makes sense again i hope.

#this got a bit deep for saying i don't feel like art and i don't feel like it since 2022 #sorry for whining about this topic for so long already on here and twitter #but i've been drawing since 2004 and i can't deal with the feeling #of it slipping away #also ppl always recommend doing OCs or getting a new hyperfixation but #tbh i don't have the big brain powers for this #can't just switch or come up with sth new on the spot #esp with work #work is just very all consuming on so many lvls

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mysticheathenn · 1 month

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Where Does Your Life Require Focus?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is all about where in your life you need to put more focus on This could be school, work, friendship, family, etc.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Pile l:

Tarot: 5 of Cups (reversed), Queen of Cups (reversed), The Wheel (reversed), 7 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, Queen of Swords (reversed). Clarigyer for 5 of Cups (reversed): 10 of Wands & King of Wands

"Every time I leave something keeps pullin' me back, me back. Telling me I need you in my life." - Chingy. This feels like a toxic love connection pile l that either you are currently in or you recently left. This may be with someone you have an on-and-off relationship with or this could be a repeating cycle of constantly meeting the same type of people to date with the ending always ending the same way. Either way with all of your Queen cards in reverse....I need you to stand up. The part of your life that requires your main attention right now is standing up for yourself and seeing your worth. Stop letting people play in your face, love bomb you, and make you feel less than the royal person you are. I feel a lot of you have been putting in most of the work in this relationship and you're tired of falling for the sweet nothings that they whisper in your ears to get you to calm down when you express how tired you are of their shit. Smooth Operator by Sade played in my head. You're tired of the sneakiness, the lies, the love bombs, and the gaslighting for a few of you, you're just tired of the same old story but something in you can't seem to let go because you don't value yourself let alone your time. You always don't feel as if you can do better than what you are or have been currently dealing with (this message is only for a few of you.) Just like Smokey the Bear's slogan says "Remember only you can put out wildfires." Well your slogan for this reading is "Remember only you can stop these cycles" and it starts with loving yourself, standing on business, and not going back to the people who keep hurting you all because you are afraid of being alone, the dick/pussy bomb/, or lack of belief in who you are to catch someone better.

Extra Messages: Oracle: You deserve love. Remember always that you deserve a love where you feel at peace, happy, and fulfilled. A love where you can relax your fight or flight system.

Pile ll:

Tarot: 8 of Swords, The Fool (Both Upright), The Moon,,, 7 of Cups, The Lovers, The Hierophant (All Reversed).

You deserve to follow your heart and passion pile ll. You are the only one holding yourself hostage to the things you want in your life. I believe most of you have been receiving signs and synchronicities to take the leap in the direction that has been calling you for sometime but for some strange reason you are hesitant to jump. It's as if you are stuck in the mindset that what you are currently doing is something you have to keep doing and you keep feeding yourself lies, fears, doubts, and imposter syndromes to keep yourself stuck in one place when you are meant to answer the call. Whatever that call is for you, this could be work, moving to a new city, state, or country, applying for something like a loan, or starting a new business..etc whatever it is, it is time. I'm getting the image of Lion King when the monkey goes to Mufasa and tells him it is time and he holds up Simba for all to see on Pride Rock. It is time for you to show the world your gifts, talent, your presence. Whatever this is your guides want you to have faith and step out not fearing that bad things will happen. I'm getting the question "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" Whatever is the first thing that comes to mind is that thing you are meant to do. Stop limiting your options to what is in front of you. The world is your oyster and you are meant to experience life through the eyes of fulfillment and abundance.

Extra Messages: Oracle: Prosperity, Clarity, Protection, and Compassion You are protected to take the leap in what you want to do with your life. Trust spirit that they won't let you fall and have compassion and faith in yourself that you will succeed.

Pile lll:

Tarot: The Hanged Man, 6 of Pentacles, Strength, 7 of Wands, Page of Wands (reversed), 6 of Swords (reversed), Queen of Wands (reversed)

Some of you may have been drawn to Pile ll. Pile ll was all about following the call of their heart and soul. You pile, pile lll is all about persisting and not giving up on the call. 6 of Pentacles is all about victory some of you are letting your doubts seep into your mind causing you to spiral out of control a bit because while you know things will happen you aren't seeing any proof or movement in your life or plans so it's causing you to even doubt your creativity, gifts, talents, and even yourself a bit. Stay strong and hang in there. Right now you are just in the limbo of your desires but they're on the way, just have faith. Cancel the noise that keeps trying to pull you under. Ignore those who keep questioning your every move because they secretly want you to fail and you are not going to let them because you are strong. The hard part was starting what you have done, now hang in there and keep going down this road. There are no rainbows without a little rain and stormy weather. You've got this boo. Don't walk away from what you are currently doing everything will pay off. In the meantime do some affirmations, work on other projects to help keep your mind busy, hang out with friends, and plan for this victory to happen because it's coming you just need to have patience, keep the faith, and don't give up.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None. Just keep the faith, persist, tell people who keep questioning what you are doing to mind their business, and be happy for yourself and bring more happiness to your life.

Pile lV:

Tarot: 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, 3 of Cups, 9 of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords (reversed)

This pile has two messages but the main message is there are quite a few of you who are daydreaming a lot about financial abundance, celebrating wins, new friendships, etc but you aren't willing to put in the work to achieve these things because you either have been hurt in the past and not wanting to deal with people or it's easier t daydream than to actually go after what you are wanting. Then there are the select few of you who need to balance your work life. You are all work and no play and you are facing burnout. For some of you, your burnout is causing you to rethink everything that you want and have done so far in your life when in reality you just need a break. Go to the spa if you can afford it, or do a DIY spa treatment at home where you run yourself a bath, buy chocolate-covered strawberries, or watch your favorite shows, and maybe even take yourself out on the town. Either way, you need to show yourself some grace and slow down. You will get to the financial abundance and celebration in due time but you won't be able to enjoy it as much because you are constantly wearing yourself down. Nothing bad will happen if you decide to take a day off. Now for those who ar daydreaming about success without doing anything, you may just like pile ll, be called to view pile l. Pile l is all about answering the call of their heart but you...I don't feel you have anything specific per se you want to go after that will bring you financial abundance. All you know is you want it and you're not acting on coming up with ways of trying to achieve it because you believe it's hard. You're belief system and lack of direction are holding you back pile lV for those who resonate with daydreaming.

Extra Messages: Oracle Messages: None The world will not explode if you decide to take a day off. Don't run yourself into the ground. For others, find your passion, try something for fun and see where it leads, or even try the thing you have had on your mind for some time and see where it leads. Roald Dahl — 'You'll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.'

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

#spirituality #witchblr #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pick a card #tarot cards #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick an image #pick a photo #pick a picture

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 24 days

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WIBTA For telling my partner I'd like to bring my ex into our relationship?

I'm copying this over from r/relationship_advice, because the responses are giving me the impression they don't really get what polyamory is & I'm hoping tumblr does. For reference: there's me (29M), my ex (28, Trans Man), and my partner (30M).

My ex and I were best friends in high school, went to the same college, & dated through the tail end of undergrad, for about a year and change. We ended things on very good terms, the only reason we broke up was a difference in life paths: I stayed in the city to get my Master's, he traveled constantly for his work (he's a sculptor who makes these huge custom multimedia pieces, they're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've seen). We fell out of touch for the most part, but I'd see him popping up on social media occasionally, or he'd text me when he was in town and we'd hang out, along with some other school friends.

The last time I saw him before our present situation was about 3 1/2 years ago today. We went out for drinks, he came back to my place after, and we ended up hooking up. He stayed in town for about a week, and we hooked up a few more times, and then he left again. He sort of dropped off the face of the earth after that, but he'd always been pretty sporadic, especially when he had a big project, so I didn't think much about it.

Not long after that, I met my current partner. He's truly one of my favorite people in the whole world; he's incredibly thoughtful, and earnest, and passionate about his morals & principles (he's an environmental lawyer), and more than anything, he's someone I never feel like I have to pretend with. He asked for my number, we had our first date a few days later, and ended up staying awake the entire night just talking about anything and everything, so we went ahead and got 5am pancakes and called it our second date. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, we've been moved in together for about 2, and while we've had the occasional fight or rough patch I can definitely say I love this man, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

So, the big change.

About a year ago (~2 years since seeing my ex, my partner and I have lived together for about a year at this point), my partner and I are having a night in, and there's a knock at the door. It's my ex, looking absolutely ragged, holding a 15 month old baby. As in, a baby who was conceived 24 months before then. Yep, it's pretty much what you're guessing. I let them both in, we had a sit down in the kitchen, and he told me everything he'd been doing in the past 2 years in between me cussing him out for keeping it all from me in the first place. I really do want to keep this as short as possible, so to give you the super condensed version:

She's my daughter, he's completely sure about that, there's no one else he's been with the math is even close to correct for

The second he found out he was pregnant, he more or less panicked. He's got a whole Thing about feeling like he's irresponsible/not a "real" adult, and this really set him off, so telling me felt like "admitting to fucking both our lives up" at the time. His OB/GYN said some pretty awful shit to him about not being more careful as a trans man too, which just made it all even worse

Because of all that, he'd genuinely planned to just never tell me I have a daughter & raise her completely on his own, but a few things compounded to force his hand:

The birth was really rough on him, and his recovery was slow enough he was having trouble going back to work, to the point where money was getting tight

On top of that, our daughter has celiac disease, and between paying out of pocket for blood tests & spending more on baby food she's safe to eat, things got desperate enough he went and took out a really dodgy loan from a scummy payday company

He was at our door because all of this had finally spiraled to a point where he'd lost his apartment, they'd been sleeping in his car for about a week, and he couldn't think of anything else to do

I think I was probably feeling every human emotion in existence at the same time through all of this, but the thing I remember most from the whole conversation was the way my partner kept drifting right back to the baby, and the soft way he looked at her. We put my ex & daughter up in a hotel room for the night and told him we needed to talk, and we'd discuss our options in the morning, but I think even then I kind of knew what our answer was going to be.

Sure enough, for the last year and a half we've been co-parenting our little girl, all three of us. We didn't want to juggle who's got her, or force my ex to find a place to stay, so we've turned my partner's home office into our daughter's room, and redid most of the downstairs layout so my ex could move into an actual bedroom, rather than just sleep on our pullout couch in perpetuity. We finally succeeded in convincing him that rest and recovery was more important than trying to contribute to the house finances right away, and it's been magical watching all that stress and terror slowly fall off him. It's like he's a little more alive again every time I look.

Which is where my question comes in.

I'd like to restate, I love my partner 100%. None of this changes that whatsoever. If I ask, and he says no, that will be the end of the discussion for me completely. But I have eyes. My ex is, objectively, a very attractive man. I know we work well together, and I have to admit I'm very curious to see where that same chemistry could lead now that he's not on the other side of the country half the time. I've also been noticing these little moments between him and my partner. Nothing I'd consider crossing a line, but I've caught my partner checking my ex out several times, as well as vice versa, and they get along remarkably well. Sometimes I'll go to enter a room, and see them both sitting there laughing and chatting and playing with our baby, and I'll just hang back to watch because it makes me so happy.

Add to all that, we're pretty deeply ingrained in each other's lives now. My partner and I don't often go out on dates alone anymore, but the last few times we did it felt as if my ex was missing from the table. We watched a movie together last night, and my ex sat in the middle of us with his feet in my partner's lap and his head on my chest, and it felt just as natural as my arm on my partner's shoulder. It's not about just having sex with him, and it's not that I'd want to invite any old person into our relationship. I know we already all love each other, and I think there's potential for that to become romantic between the two of us and my ex.

It just feels as though we're all holding our breath, waiting for someone else to say it first. My ex certainly isn't going to bring it up when he's living rent free in "our" home (it's his home too, but he doesn't seem to see it like that yet). My partner grew up sheltered enough that I'm not sure he's ever heard of polyamory at all, so he's not going to bring it up. That just leaves me.

My problem is, if I'm wrong about what I think I'm seeing, or if I bring it up the wrong way, I can't take it back. I don't want my partner to feel insecure or betrayed, I don't want my ex to feel pressured or put on the spot, and I definitely don't want my daughter to lose any of us, which I know could happen if we aren't all on the same page. Or worse, if we do all date and it goes badly.

Should I just keep this whole thing secret? Is that even worse? Would I be the asshole for opening this can of worms on everyone else?

Help!

#aita #am i the asshole

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arandomdai · 4 months

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Persephone Lost Herself To Marriage

⚠️ Warning: I'm just saying my opinions (and theories) like everyone else. So put your tin foil hats on, it's going to be a LONG read. Enjoy!!!⚠️

• The Realization

This was/is a cry for help. She's finally admitted something that we (some of us) already noticed. The fact that she's so worried about her blue corpse of a man's feelings, while in denial about killing hundreds if not thousands of mortals in seconds...is nasty work. Like okay you don't know yourself, good we are getting somewhere. But are you willing to change your ways like finally admitting that your Mom was right, Minthe was right (about you and your man), Zeus was right (where he says they didn't know each other long), finally realize your selfish and a murderer, etc. Like I wanna see the change, not this boohoo act. And speaking of Demeter, she is a little bit at fault for why Persephone acts like this. If she would've told her about being a FG, teach her how to defend herself, help her control her powers or help make her own decisions, none of this wouldn't happen. Now Persephone (this her own fault here)is trapped with guilt, a blu gru, and a whole population of shades coming in. Once this is over, I pray to God that she wakes up, and leave that man, live in the mortal realm, and hopefully come to terms/works on herself to know who she is because her being a Queen is not one of them.

•Hades Is Her Downfall

This man never loved her. He wanted to sleep with her knowing he had a girlfriend (Minthe at the time) and when she was only 19 years old !!!(smdh 🤢😒), somehow he shows up in her nightmare saying, "I Know That I Can Smell Your Ambitions As They Rot At Your Feet.", he didn't let Persephone tell him what happened, lies about everything, disrespects Demeter, never gave Thanatos a real apology, never actually going to therapy, etc, need I say more? This man genuinely hates powerful women. He sabotaged Demeter's right to rule the mortal realm, gets angry when women stand up for themselves, preys on the vulnerable and young, dangles money over them, had an affair with Hera behind his brothers back, etc, and Persephone still thinks he's husband material... chile. Like how come she doesn't see those horrible qualities and notice that he brings out the worst in her? Real men don't treat women like this. To be fair, that first genocide she caused was all her fault, like yes they were playing in her face, but she didn't need to start killing people. But you know what she did, she was willing to help the shades get into the Underworld (and he was mad about that 😒). Now we're on to our second genocide, and this man was the cause of this as well (mostly her fault but still). The fact he said "I can't stop her from trying." Like yes you can Blunocchio 🙄. I'm so tired of him, and his evil ways. Persephone really needs to understand that man was never in her corner, and if he was, he would've left her alone from the very beginning. The lesson is don't EVER let a man be your downfall and try to make you feel powerless. If he can't take how powerful you are, he was never the one and he's an insecure a**hole.

• There Was Always Someone

Hydros tried to warn Gaia

People thought Rhea was stupid for loving Kronos

Probably someone close to the Missing Goddess tried to warn her

Demeter warned Persephone

Do we see the pattern? Constantly losing yourself in love with abusive men, getting your powers drained because they wanted to prove that they were worth loving, and trying to prove the haters wrong (looking at you author)? Well, yes. Persephone had her twenties to look forward to (school, TOGEM, and starting her future), but made a man child the #1 priority. Had her thirties (self reflection, getting her shit together, realize she can do bad by herself.), but still managed to keep him in the #1 priority slot, instead of her and her own mother. Like does she not get that her mom is her real best friend? These fertility goddesses (excluding Metis 🤢) wish that they would've listened to those people/or families, and saw from their point of view that their men weren't no good, and go from there. Like did Persephone ever think about what Zeus told her ( his back story about what happened to Rhea), nope. Just ignored it because she never listens, and loves finding out the hard way 🙄😒. If the author wanted a real ('cause let's be honest, it's not) feminist retelling, she could've had Persephone look at the fertility goddesses differently, Seeing there struggles, learn that Demeter just didn't want to see her get hurt, and walk away from him (but in a perfect world I guess 🫤). Remember y'all there is always someone in your corner that is looking out for you and/or showing they love you.

• Persephone's Fate

Until she starts listening to the right people, know how to think for herself, and realize that man ain't crap, she's doomed. Years from now, she's going to be trapped in a marriage full of regrets and shattered dreams, sparkling and useless if you will. Hades will continue to use and abuse her. Hell, wouldn't be surprised if he started cheating on her like he cheated on Minthe. Also, wouldn't be shocked if she becomes the next Hera, after all she was just her stand in. Hades would take most of her powers, someone defeats him, and puts him in prison somewhere, she starts seeing him, and no one else can. Would that be something? I mean he was in her dreams telling her that her ambitions will rot. Also people wouldn't want to come around her, and she gotta live with that for the rest of her life. Demeter, lasion, and her son living life to the fullest, so who can she call? She is stuck in a tragic cautionary tale of a fertility goddess. Someone that wanted to prove the haters wrong, wanted to be worthy of loving, and a victim of a man's abuse and manipulations.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus criticism #it was hades all along #lore olympus critical #tin foil hats

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blossom-works · 8 months

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Mommy and Daddy Bear

"Chris! Claire!" Leon calls out to his friends. They are locked inside two Alcatraz jail cells. The Redfield siblings are pale, gritting their teeth from whatever is hurting them. The DSO agent tries to force the cells open, but they are locked shut.

"Look behind you, Leon." Claires points. Her arm is shaking, but she is determined to make her friend look behind him. Following her finger, Leon spots someone else in the cell behind him. The entire room is dark, so he turns on his flashlight.

"Babe!" Leon drops his flashlight and crawls to your cell. Like the Redflields, you are gritting your teeth in pain. Your skin is pale too. Leon reaches inside the cell to cup your cheek. Through his gloves, Leon can feel your rising temperature.

"What are you doing here? What happened? Where are the kids?"

Drowsy, you try your best to answer him. "They...They're with Helena. Some woman tried to ambush us but I managed to hold her off." Your wheezing worries Leon even more. There are two times Leon has seen you in a similar state. Both were when you gave birth to his children.

"Help! Get us out of here!"

Leon turns around and in Claire's cell is Leon's target.

"Antonia Taylor...I'll deal with your ass later." Screw his mission. His wife is more important than bringing in some rouge scientist. He needs to get his wife home to their kids.

Leon rubs your warm cheek as an act of comfort. "I'm gonna get you out of here, sweetheart. Don't worry."

Suddenly, the lights flicker on. Jill and Leon pull out their guns and point them in opposite directions. The man in charge, Dylan Blake, introduces himself and his insane plan to the entire group. One of his bio-drones stings Leon in the back of his neck, weakening the man. From your line of view, you see the same woman who tried to take your children jump down from the floor above.

"You bitch." You groan out. You wish you had your gun on you so you could shoot the woman between her eyes. The woman disarms your weakened husband and kicks him to your cell. Reaching your hand out, you squeeze Leon's shoulder.

"I get it now. The attack. The virus. You got them from Arias. That's why she's here." Leon wheezes out. The virus is coursing through his veins, slowly shutting his body down.

"Leon," You exhale. "That's her. That the bitch that tried to take the kids."

Dylan's voice echoes the large, empty room. "You killed poor Maria's father. It was only fair for her to take away your family, Leon. Unfortunately, we underestimated your wife's condition. Even at three months post-partum, she was able to put up a fight. Left a bruise or two on Maria. I've got to say my friend, you have yourself quite a catch."

"Screw you, you bastard!"

"My kids and wife are innocent! You had no right to go after them!"

Dylan goes on a tangent about how everything the BOW fighters have fought for was a lie. They are nothing but pawns for powerful people to use. Dylan nit-picks at each of them, even you.

"And poor Mrs. Kennedy...I feel bad for you the most. You married a man who is tied down to his endless, grueling job. He even got your family mixed into his mess. What kind of a man does that to his family?"

You defend your husband through your gritted teeth. "Leon didn't do shit to our family. You're the one who endangered our family, asshole! My husband does everything he can to protect us so kindly fuck off!"

Leon has always questioned his ability to protect his family. He is constantly gone throughout the year and for an unknown amount of time. Your husband tries his best to be there for his kids and for you, but work gets in the way. He even worries about being present in their early lives. Leon does not want to miss out on their important firsts. He never wants to end up as the dad who misses out on his kids' school events, games, and recitals. Dylan is good at hitting a man in his Achilles heel.

Maria grabs onto Jill's hand, making her drop her gun from the pressure she applies. To protect their only chance at survival, Leon pulls out a flash grenade and tosses it in the middle of the hallway. When the flash clears, Maria steps onto Leon's chest. The more pressure she uses, the more her heeled boots dig into his skin.

"Leave them, Maria. They're all about to turn anyway."

Reluctantly, the woman obeys. She haughtily looks down at you who is glaring at her. Cursing the woman for going after your family. Silently proclaiming your revenge.

All week and terrified, Leon does his best to distract you from the pain. "How are the kids?"

"They should be fine. Helena was with me when Maria decided to drop by. She took the kids while I stalled Maria." You grip your side in pain. "Man that bitch packs a mean kick."

"She," Leon groans. "She knew where we lived?" You nod. It astonishes you too. Everything about your family is classified thanks to DSO's protocol. Information about their agents and their families is pretty much untouchable with the exception of a few.

Being the angel she is, Rebecca shows up with her vaccines. "Thank goodness I made an extra." She tries to give Leon the vaccine first, but he rejects it. No way is he going to get better while his wife is still sick. When everyone is vaccinated, you all know the battle is almost over.

Picking up Jill's gun, you turn around to face your husband. "Let's go get that bitch."

---

The fight between you, Leon, and Maria is an exhausting one. It takes the two of you a while before your full strength is back. Something must have been injected into Maria because she is what you describe as a "super soldier". Maria is a good fighter, but she fucked with your family. She broke into your home. She tried to go after your precious kids and use them as leverage. The woman fucked with the wrong set of parents. And she put her nasty ass foot on your husband's face! So not cool!

When Leon regains his strength, he double-kicks Maria. His last kick is about to send Maria to her death, but you want to be the one to do it. You take the disheveled Maria and shove her from behind with your foot while bending her body down to a certain level of height. The metal rod sticking out, pierces through Maria's head, killing her instantly. You and Leon have peace of mind knowing that the woman after your family is dead.

Leon drags you away from Maria's body and brings you into his chest. Your hug only lasts a couple of seconds because the control room starts to shake.

"We are so going on vacation after this." You say.

Leon laughs and nods his head in agreement. You guys are definitely booking a trip when you get home. He hopes that Eri will not remember whatever happened in your home. Levi is only a few months old but his sister is two. Leon does not want Maria to be one of Eri's earliest memories. Leon can only hope that your maternal instincts protected Eri from early childhood trauma.

---

The fight on Alcatraz Island is over. The six of you sit outside as you wait for backup to arrive.

"Well...I know what I'm taking away from this."

"What's that?" Rebecca asks.

"Prison tours suck." Leon's dorky remark makes everyone laugh. You lightly shove him to the side before he swings his arm around your shoulder. "So, where we goin' for vacation, love?"

"You were serious about that?" Chris asks. Leon announced that he and his family were going on vacation after this mission, but the BSAA operative thought Leon just said that in the heat of the moment.

You hum. "France? I've always wanted to see the Palace of Versailles and I'm sure Eri would love to go to the Disneyland there."

Claire raises her hand like a kid. "OOO! I wanna go too!" As much as she travels because of one thing or another, it is never where she wants to go and do what she wants to do (besides survive of course).

"France sounds good. Jill? Rebecca?"

Jill shrugs her shoulders and Rebecca says that she could use a vacation after this week.

"Wait a damn minute, It's a family vacation. Kennedy only." You slap your husband's arm for being rude to your friends.

"C'mon babe, these guys are practically family. Besides, free babysitters."

Hearing "free babysitters" immediately changes Leon's mind. He loves his children, but having the chance to have their mother to himself is just too good to pass up. Eri is an easy kid to watch, she just needs to work on her potty-training skills. Levi is formula fed so he does not need to be on your boobs every two or three hours. This means that mommy and daddy can have some uninterrupted "mommy and daddy" time.

"Alright, fine but you guys are paying for yourselves."

---

Story inspired by "Family Matters" by @not-another-leon-blog

#fanfiction #x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #resident evil 5 #resident evil #re4 #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy imagine #resident evil imagine #resident evil 6 #resident evil death island #resident evil 4 #resident evil damnation #resident evil infinite darkness #resident evil vendetta #re leon #reader insert

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kaicubus · 2 years

Text

Dating Wayne Headcanons

☆.｡.:*

warnings : violence, physical violence ((not towards reader)), protective wayne, blood, mentions of weapons like knives and guns, mentions of an abusive ex, cursing, sex mentions but nothing explicit.

pairing : fem!reader x wayne mccullough

authors note : STREAM WAYNE ON AMAZON PRIME PLEASE I LOVE THIS EMO BAD BOY WITH MY ENTIRE HEART!!!!!!!

☆.｡.:*

- It really wasn't supposed to go further than a few dates, but after he took you to multiple run down diners and nights spent in vacant parking lots on the curbs with strawberry and vanilla milkshakes, you started developing feelings towards him. Genuine ones.

♡ Before you met him, Wayne had never kissed anyone. You're his first girlfriend so he’s kinda lost when it comes to anything intimate. All he really knows is he wants to be around you constantly and wants to protect you, and that you tend to look cute 10/10 times without fail. Before you came along, no girl would ever think once about getting with Wayne, so he’s also kinda caught off guard when you awkwardly slide your hand into his.

“What are you doing?” He instinctively retracts his hand out of unfamiliarity.

“Holding your hand?” You say.

“What is this — a boyfriend girlfriend thing or a Y/n thing?”

“Both??”

Eventually, he gets the hang of it and really enjoys holding your hand to the point where he forgets that sometimes you're attached to him and will swing his arm inhumanly strong, causing you to practically fly into the air.

With kissing too, he quickly grows fond of the feeling. Once he’s hooked, he can never go back. Even if it’s when you two are hanging out doing nothing, Wayne sneaks a few kisses here and there but it always ends in a full blown make out session to fulfill his attention needs.

♡ Without fail, when Wayne gets in fights, you're there to clean his wounds. Since he doesn't care until you start to worry, you've become accustomed to bringing a few band-aids and alcohol wipes at least on you wherever you go.

“You don't have to do this shit, Y/n.”

You wrap his knuckles with bandages , “Just stay still, ok? I have to clean your face next.”

((He secretly likes it a lot, keep doing it.))

♡ When it comes to showing affection in private, he prefers kissing your lips more than anything; pressing soft kisses against the corners of your mouth, working his way to the middle of your lips like it’s a reward. He also really loves touching the back of your neck and feeling all the wispy baby hairs that hug your skin.

♡ Wayne’s big on physical touch, so much so that if you ever don't give him his daily dose of hugs he gets visibly sluggish, upset, and less tolerant of everybody’s bullshit. In fact if he sees you with someone else touching their arm or hugging them goodbye before you give him a big ol’ smoochie, he’ll walk over and get it himself.

♡ Speaking of jealousy, there’s no way this boy isn't a jealous person. Especially when it comes to you, his literal saving grace, his girlfriend, he sees everyone as a threat. Classmates at school, club members in your after school club, your guy friends, and random people on the street; no one escapes Wayne without getting a death stare or three. If they try anything though, that’s when all hell breaks loose, as well as someones arm.

♡ He’s not an outwardly jealous person though; he won’t throw tantrums and explode on you if he feels insecure about your relationship with a guy. Instead, If Wayne sees a guy flirting with you, he just automatically assumes he doesn't know his place in your life. So without of making a scene, he’ll walk up to you and smugly wrap an arm around your shoulder and stare bullets into the guy before you give him the time of day and pay attention to him.

“Yeah, Wayne?”

“Hm? Oh, nothin’. Who’s this?”

He tries to act intimidating in social settings, but he doesn't have to try hard at all. If anything he’s more of a silent jealous type where he just observes the person and analyzes them completely before knocking their teeth out.

♡ If you show ANY ounce of fear around someone, especially someone doing business with Wayne, his eyes harden and he changes into a human weapon complete with a totally non-lethal bat with nails hammered into it!! He has aimbot.

♡ Even if he is A Wayne, he’s still A guy and is pretty awkward with certain things. Dude will smash a guy’s head out any given time of day on command but gets nervous when he has to buy you pads or tampons because there's just so many of them. Occasionally, he subconsciously cracks a few dirty jokes in between his sentences in hopes he’ll impress you, basically saying ‘hey I can be funny too, I’m not totally spooky.’ but regardless, you laugh at his jokes which makes him really happy.

♡ Wayne is also like, painfully sweet. He’s trying his best, since it’s all new to him, and you can see that.

“I got you these.” He holds up a small flower bouquet.

“Wayne, these are daisy weeds, fleabane, and white clovers wrapped in wrinkled caution tape. I think there’s a dead bee on this one here.” You stare at the mixture of weeds in his hands.

“Do you like them? I can get you more if you want.”

♡ There’s not a single moment of his day where thinking of you doesn't cross his mind. Wayne will smile, completely smitten with your eyes, your hair and your body. Remember when I said he’s a Wayne but he’s also a guy? Yeah. When he’s not deathly injured or when the two of you aren't running from someone with a gun, free time is spent in the back of a car or on your bed in a heated make out moment.

♡ During sex, his hands are ALL over your body. Mostly your hips and thighs, but he’d be lying if he said he didn't like touching your boobs too.

♡ He has a tendency to ‘accidentally’ leave articles of clothing in your possession in hopes of seeing you wear his shirt or his flannel or his denim jacket throughout the week. Sometimes you find half your closet just stuffed with random t-shirts that weren't there before only to find out they're all Wayne’s.

♡ Wayne has this really cute habit of spinning you around like you're dancing even if there's no music playing and out of the blue. He thinks that the way your hair sways when you spin is just really pretty and he can’t help but say it too.

“Why do you always spin me around?” You chuckle and rest your arms over his shoulders.

“I just think you look really pretty today.” He grins ear to ear.

“How come you say that every day then?

He shrugs, “How can you be so pretty every day, Y/n?”

#wayne mccullough #wayne #dating wayne #wayne x reader #wayne series #wayne mccullough x reader #wayne headcanons #wayne amazon #wayne mccullough imagine #kaicubus

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ohara-n-brown · 3 months

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[WARNING: Rant]

Sometime made a post going 'Love the trans women in your life while they're still here'

Someone added 'Trans men and Nonbinary too!'

And this was the response.

My response: Cut this shit out, you're acting literally ridiculous.

First of all - no it's NOT an All Lives Matter moment.

ALL LIVES MATTER was created by white people who DON'T experience racism to silence the experiences of those who DO experience racism and die at the hands of it.

A transmasc or nonbinary person saying 'Us also!' is a not the same.

It's a group of people who DO experience transphobia adding to the experiences of those who ALSO experience transphobia.

It's A LOT MORE like a black person going 'BlackLivesMatter' and sometime commenting '#StopAsianHate too :)' and OP going 'wow fuck you read the room you're being racist.'

That's like a Gay person speaking out against homophobia and how it's wrong. And then a trans person says 'Transphobia too!' and suddenly it's 'Read the room. This isn't about y'all. Why do y'all have to bring yourself up always. This isn't about gender. Read the room-'

Sounds familiar to y'all? It should. I'm reading the room and the room is saying you just fucking hate another group of oppressed people lol

Another oppressed person who experiences the same violence as you adding their voice to your choir is NOT the same as white people using their privilege to silence others who experience racism when they themselves don't.

SECOND OF ALL - (tw death mention under cut)

YEAH THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO ADD 'Celebrate your trans brothers while there here' on a post you know..

considering a transmasc non-binary person got fucking beat to death on school grounds exactly a month ago.

Remember that??? The one whose death is being actively covered up by school, law, and state officials on a systemic scale??

Also - a fucking trans man from NJ is still missing as we speak (Elliot Ganiel)

But calling attention to that is like being a MRA??? Talking about a children deaths in a school bathroom and missing people are like being MRAs whose main concerns are women playing video games or some shit?

No. No it isn't.

Y'all misusing terms like MRA and yelling 'That's like all lives matter!!!' clearly show youdon't understand how oppression works in the slightest.

If you try to compare any white racist movement to an oppressed group of people - YTA.

One of us gets fucking killed with no justice, LGBTQ crisis line calls skyrocket, and when asked about it state officials say and I quote 'We don't want that filth in our state!!'

- and when we talk about it amongst people in our community it's 'read the room!!' or 'wow really MRA like'

Fucking bite me.

And before - 'Oh but they didn't have to put it on THAT post, they could've made their own'.

Did you not hear what I just said. A transmasc teen was beat to death and misgendered publically statewide.

Maybe transmascs would like to feel included by the community at this time? So they can feel safe? Safety in numbers? And maybe want to feel like the wider community cares when shit like this happens - which clearly.. y'all don't.

Cause when a transmasc kid is literally killed - and we see a post saying 'Love your transfemme friends whine they're here!' and add the same - only to be told to read the room - it tells us 'You only have a month or so to morn. They died last month? Why are you bringing it up now on a post about appreciating trans people before their death??? Read the room. That was for us only. Stop trying to hog all the attention'.

Like damn sorry for wanting to feel like my community would care if I got wiped off this fucking earth silly me. Silly us.

When we start the conversation on our own we're ignored. When we try to contribute our experiences to other conversations we're told to shut the fuck up and read the room and then compared to actual racists and sexists.

You constantly compare us to people who DO NOT face oppression - cis men and white people - in order to silence us, despite the fact you know we face oppression in ways both groups could never even imagine. You think you're slick. You're not.

BITE ME. HARD.

#'thats so aLl LiVeS mAtTeR'#as a black person: no it isn't and it's insulting you think that #'all lives matter' isn't just annoy derailment it's about the fact that white people are not opposed so they don't need ALM #ALL LIVES MATTER is fake solidarity because white ppl don't need the solidarity #Transmasc people DO #DO BETTER HOLY SHIT #a lot of y'all are fucking heartless and do not understand intersectionality in the goddamn slightest #no takesies backsies I said what I said #queer #ftm #transmasc #transandrophobia #transphobia #transgender #nonbinary #enby #transphobia mention #tw death #tw assault

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obsidianbaby · 11 days

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Don't Love Me Like A Brother - Prologue

Brothers Best Friend Series - PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 1 -

series synopsis - ronnie's younger brother, tyler, is a famous youtuber & influencer and is best friends with the sturniolos. This series will be following ronnie's life as she befriends the triplets and catches herself developing feelings for a certain someone...

**series will contain smut as it develops but warnings will be added to those specific chapters

**found myself writing a few flashback chapters before present day just to build up the established friendships bc I'm impatient and don't want the slow burn to drain anyone 😭

warnings/notes - no smut in this as it's just the prologue to introduce y'all to the story.

a/n - starting this series and im very exciteddddddd i hope y'all fuck with a slow burn, friends to lovers best friends brother type beat. Buckle up mfs it's gonna be an angsty ride

a/n pt 2 - im not gonna share who ronnie develops feelings for just yet I want y'all to be on edge okok enjoy MWAH xx

__________________________________

PROLOGUE

ronnies pov

having a brother who's famous on social media is humbling to say the least.

The amount of fan girls who have followed my accounts just because they're obsessed with him makes me question many people's sanity (including my own).

But tyler is one of my best friends. And thank god for my dad, who from the jump, did not tolerate any misogynistic bullshit from my brother.

Raising two kids as a single dad after my mom passed away (before ty and I were older than the age of 5) was tough for him and he embraced the times when he needed support (like when i first got my period, bless his heart he bought almost every type of menstrual product off the shelf).

His values were the perfect structure for us to grow up following; respect, open communication, giving our best efforts to everything (even if the only effort we could offer up was a 60% instead of a 100%)

My childhood friends would always whine about how "chill" my dad was. And it's not cause he didn't care, (he probably cares too much) but he didn't want to shield us either, knowing we need to learn how to exist in the world without him constantly up our asses.

"As long as we can talk about shit at the end of the day then we're good" one of his favorite mantras he would spew to me and ty when we would get caught doing something you might call a "right of passage" as a teenager.

And since it was just the three of us, we've always leaned on each other a lot. Sunday family dinners at nans' every week, taking turns helping my dad at his shop after school (he's a car mechanic), movie nights every thursday night where my dad would close up shop early, setting up the projector in the shop garage and ordering us pizza. My brother has been a best friend to me since I held him in my arms at the age of 3 when he was born.

And of course, we have the usual chaotic fights to the death like most siblings do, him pranking me in the most annoying ways, me making fun of his dumbass, him eating all of my food, me stealing his cool clothes, him begging me to uber him around everywhere, etc.

But we also just really enjoy each other's company too; going on late night walks around town, sitting in bed staying up talking all night, playing mario cart for hours (id always kick his ass), going adventuring together to forests or beaches, hanging out at the skate park together (me laughing at him eating shit and him chasing me around trying to whack me with his board), us both ditching our friends to stay at home and yap to each other instead, us having campfires in the backyard with both of our friend groups together, working on restoring mom's 1967 ford mustang together that she left us when she passed.

So when he came to me a few years back, during the pandemic, asking my thoughts on him posting on youtube, I was in full support (after teasing him that no one would find him, an 18 year old lanky white boy about to graduate high school funny or interesting. I have to keep him humble ya know?)

But his first few videos on youtube went viral and his following kept growing daily, especially when he started posting on tiktok too.

He's had me (and even my dad) featured in his videos which i don't mind at all (since im the one that's editing them)

I can see why the internet loves him (i did help raise him of course).

But since he's hit over 3 million on youtube last year, he's been doing a shit ton of collabs with other influencers and youtubers; the sturniolo triplets, larray, emma chamberlain, jake webster, tarayummy, vinnie hacker, carrington, etc.

And these days I try to stay behind the scenes as much as possible, trying to enjoy my solitude away from the opinions of crazy fans. (why do they care so much about what im doing anyways?)

Yet he understands (thank god) and he's always inviting me to come hangout with the friends he's made through social media, and i can't lie and say i don't enjoy being in the company of such dope (and attractive) people.

END OF PROLOGUE

______________________________________________

a/n - hellooooo i have a few more parts already written for this but im gonna wait to see how this post goes first (because i have a dire need for validation and praise) anywaysssss thank you for reading mwah xx

#sturniolo #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #chris sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fanfic

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neobomb · 7 months

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give into things i (dont) want to [lee jeno]

(yandere ish) creep/stalker! popular fuckboy/badboy!jeno x christian!reader, hints of shy boy! (kinda dumb) naive! christian!mark x reader. Part of the give into things i (dont) want to series. Warnings: mature themes, toxic behaviour, manipulation, stalking, forcing??, inappropriate behaviour, choking, menstions of perv behaviour, MDNI, there will be smut in part 2 Word Count: 2.3k Summary: Jeno is on a mission: to assist his friend Mark in getting with you. But is he genuinely helping Mark or leading him down a questionable path? © 2023 @neobomb. Unauthorized copying, translation, manipulation, or alteration of this work is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

“Would you really do that for me?” Mark's eyes sparkle with hope. The excitement bubbling within him was palpable, but Jeno knew he had to temper it. For the longest time, Mark has had a crush on you, yet never mustered the courage to approach you. It was heart-wrenching to see, truly pathetic.

“Don’t worry, you can trust me.” Jeno assures with unwavering confidence. “She will be head over heels for you if you just do as I say.”

Mark is overly trusting to believe that Jeno, of all people, will help him get with you. You, L/N Y/N, the one Jeno has been hopelessly in love with over the years, the one who captured the heart of THE fuckboy Lee Jeno. Jeno's deep feelings for you are something he'll never confess. He's vowed to himself to admire you from a distance, never allowing himself to get close. Jeno understood his nature, believing that a pure, innocent soul like you shouldn't be entangled with a bad boy like him. However, that doesn't mean he'll let anyone else get near you, especially not Mark.

“I trust you, Jeno. You’re the rizz king after all.” Indeed, Jeno had been with more girls than most guys his age. With his captivating looks, undeniable charisma, and seasoned charm, he can enchant just about anyone he desires. Flirting was second nature to him. For Jeno, it was not just about the sex; it was a way to establish himself as the school's most sought-after boy. A simple power move.

“I’m just… a bit uncomfortable with some of your suggestions.” Mark says, sounding skeptical as he scratches his head. “It just seems a bit… odd… maybe creepy even.”

“I promise you, girls love that shit.” Jeno takes a step closer to the clueless boy. “Haven’t you read Twilight and all those cliché romance novels that girls love? Girls are fucked up enough to eat that shit up.”

"You're right." Mark concedes, deciding to place his trust in Jeno. After all, Jeno has no reason to lead him astray, does he?

"Let's do it then," Jeno says, extending his hand towards Mark for a handshake, to which Mark readily reciprocates with a firm handshake.

The deal has been sealed. Jeno has Mark right where he wants him. Mark was just dumb and naive enough to believe the bullshit Jeno has been telling him.

—

A handwritten note was attached to the string of the bouquet with tape.

Dear Y/N, Not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind. Your lover, lee.

It began innocently enough – with sweet intentions and harmless beginnings.

Then there were the photographs — snapshots capturing moments in your bedroom, some pictures intimate, others harmless.

new message from lover lee: new image has been sent

Then, items began to vanish — your favorite cherry-flavored chapstick, your bra and your panties were the first to go.

What started innocently has now morphed into something more ominous.

In your room, a place that is supposed to be your safe haven. An unsettling feeling grips you—a paranoia over who might be watching. A faceless someone, so infatuated that they'd shadow your every move. You find yourself overly aware of your surroundings, constantly casting a discreet glance over your shoulder, wishing for no one to be standing right behind you. Thankfully, it is clear. It always was.

It's become so unnerving that sleep eludes you. Night after night, you retreat to the corner of your room, ensuring every window is securely fastened, window blinds down, your gaze fixed intently on the doorway that separates your sanctuary from the main hallway. Clasping your cross necklace close to your heart, you'd whisper prayers, hoping fervently that no one lurked nearby. It had become a routine at this point.

–

The bell chimed resonantly through the corridors. Finally, a reprieve from these tedious classes, Jeno mused. He strides down the hallway, eyes darting to the windows of each classroom, searching for a glimpse of you.

There you are, seated at a desk away from the windows, with sun rays casting a gentle glow on your delicate cheek while you hold a book. To him, you are the epitome of beauty, with an innocence in your eyes that captivates as you survey your surroundings. You appear deeply fatigued, as though you haven't had a moment's rest in the past month.

“Y/N, I’ve noticed that you look very tired lately. Is everything ok?” Lifting your gaze from your desk, you find Jeno looking at you with evident concern.

"Uh, yeah, I'm okay. Just some trouble sleeping," you reply, your voice carrying a hint of surprise at the sudden attention from Jeno, the school's renowned handsome bad boy. You rack your brain, realizing you haven't actually spoken to him since preschool days.

"Hey, Y/N," Mark says, appearing behind you with a wide smile that briefly startles you. "I noticed you at church last Sunday. I didn't want to intrude… you seemed deeply engaged in prayer…. as one should be..." Mark winces slightly at his own awkwardness. Your presence has a way of making him momentarily lose his grasp on social cues.

“Anyways…” Mark casts a meaningful glance at Jeno, hinting that he should give the two of you some space. “I’ve been wanting to ask you… if… you might want to… maybe… go… uhm…. I’ve been wanting to tell you something and it’s very important.”

“Uhm… ok” you respond in a confused tone, looking back at Jeno. “I want to do it somewhere, preferably more private… uhm… maybe dinner at Kun’s… this evening…” Mark stumbles over his words, stuttering through the simple sentences.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" you clarify, boiling his words down to their clear intent. “Yes…” the shy boy confirms.

Mark is undeniably cute — a devoted Christian, diligent, yet reserved. You have always had a little crush on Mark, but you never anticipated that he would make a move. The realm of dating had always seemed uneventful to you; you felt as if you were invisible to boys. But not until this very moment. Going out with Mark couldn't be harmful, could it? At the very least, it might provide a welcome distraction from your current stalker situation.

“Yes, I would love to.” you answer with a radiant smile, sending the timid boy into cloud nine.

Mission one complete. And so Mark thought…

–

On this typical Friday evening, the restaurant buzzed with activity, patrons streaming in and out. Amidst the bustle, you notice Mark seated at a table tucked away from the main dining area.

"Hi there," he greets, rising to envelop you in a friendly hug. "I got here a bit early and took the liberty of ordering for us — Peking roasted duck… I hope that's alright… it's your favorite from the menu." His remark piques your curiosity. It's oddly specific knowledge for him to have. You have barely talked to Mark. How did he know your preferred dish? Strange.

"Please, have a seat," he offers, pulling out the chair for you. With a moment of hesitation, you take the offered seat.

“I’m curious about what you’ve been wanting to tell me. Seems like you were very eager to spill it out.” Perhaps it was premature to confront him, but your curiosity was too strong to resist. But with your question, you can almost feel Mark's panic. His hands tremble slightly as he opens his can of soda.

He inhales deeply, steadying himself before he responds to your question: “I have to confess something. Uhm… I wanted to … uhm tell you … that I’m … lee, your lover”

You stare at him in stunned horror, mustering all your composure to prevent yourself from trembling with fear and revulsion. The revelation hits you like a thunderclap — Mark Lee, the same person sitting across from you, is the stalker who has been haunting your nights with fear.

“I can’t fucking believe it. You scared me shitless.” You immediately rise from your seat, getting yourself ready to leave the restaurant.

“What do you mean?” Mark says in a confused tone.

“The letters, flowers, …. the creepy text messages, … the photos of me in my room, … my fucking missing underwear, constantly feel like I’m being followed, it’s all you??” Struggling to keep your voice level, the sense of betrayal washing over you was unparalleled.

“What?” Mark yelled in question “What do you mean photos?? missing underwear? All I did was send you secret letters.”

“I swear to God it’s not me, Y/N.” Mark pleaded with you, his eyes imploring, begging you to believe him.

“Nothing you say can change what I’ve heard.” You declare, swiftly collecting your belongings before storming out of the restaurant.

It had never crossed your mind that Mark, the quiet, church-going boy who seemed devoted to his faith, could be capable of taking such extreme actions. The revelation seemed surreal, almost too contrived to be true.

—

A few months have passed since the unsettling discovery of Mark's unsettling behavior. Every ounce of your bravery has been summoned just to face him at school each day. Whenever he attempts to draw near, desperately trying to weave a tapestry of excuses, you fend him off with the threat of a restraining order. There's nothing he could say now to sway your resolve.

In the span of those tumultuous weeks, you found solace in Jeno. As the days passed, you and Jeno grew increasingly close, an unforeseen twist given that the popular boy had seemingly never noticed you before — or so it had seemed. But his kindness and understanding provided comfort, especially when others doubted your account of events.

"Thanks for walking me home from church, Jeno. You really don’t have to do it again. I promise you this will be the first and last time." you say, casting a wary glance at Mark, who lingers near the church entrance. Having Jeno's company is a source of comfort amidst the chaos, even if your home is just a two-minute stroll from the church.

"Of course, it's the least I can do to ensure you feel secure." Jeno says, casually draping an arm around your shoulders while guiding his bike with his free hand. His steps seem confident, almost familiar with the path to your home, despite the fact that in all the years of your acquaintance, he has never once been at your house, or even close to it. You try to dismiss the peculiar sense that he knows the way a little too well, reminding yourself that he's never been invited over, but the thought lingers, troubling in its implications. Strange, you thought.

Just as you near your house, the skies open up, unleashing a sudden downpour. You urge Jeno to come inside, suggesting he wait out the torrential rain before he ventures back home. To pass the time and since Jeno had never been to your place before, you decided to give him a tour.

"Oh here is your favorite place to sit and read" remarks Jeno, his tone carrying a hint of familiarity as he observes the cozy corner of your living room. How did he know it was your favorite reading spot? His ease within your home is uncanny, almost as if he's retracing well-known steps rather than discovering them for the first time, inadvertently reversing the roles of guest and guide. Strange.

The final stop of the tour is your room. Pointing to a large photo album, you say, "Here are snapshots from my childhood," and you flip it open to share a visual journey through your past. You point to a cherished childhood photograph, depicting a younger you, grinning with abandon, your face comically smeared with Peking duck sauce, as you gleefully twirl noodles around your chopsticks.

“Oh you looked so adorable while eating peking roasted duck. Must have been your favorite dish for quite some time. I guess some things never change.” He smiles at a particular photograph of you. It was a response that strikes you as odd. You hadn't mentioned your favorite dish to him before. Strange.

“How did you know about my favorite dish? I’m pretty sure I haven’t told you about it.” you query, attempting to piece together the perplexing puzzle that has been preoccupying your thoughts. Upon hearing your question, a shadow flickers across Jeno's features, replacing the cheerful, lively demeanor of moments ago with something more somber. The spark in his eyes dims, giving way to a serious, almost foreboding intensity.

“What do you mean?” He inquires, his lips curling into an uneasy, almost disconcerting smirk.

“I… I just think you’re acting a bit… uhm… strange. It’s the first time you’ve ever walked me home, and you seem oddly familiar with the area I live in…. and you seem to know my house like you've already been here before … uhm … and you pick up on these small things I haven’t told you about before.” As you address his odd demeanor, a growing sense of regret takes hold with each passing second; his eyes darken, casting a shadow of menace that chills you to the bone.

In that instance, Jeno aggressively pins you down onto your bed. One hand holding your wrist, the other at your throat.

“You know too much, Y/N. You should’ve just kept your pretty little mouth shut.” He whispers in your ear before tightening his grip around your neck until you are no longer registering his words. His voice faded into a muffled echo as your thoughts withdrew into a separate reality. Your hands clutch at his wrist, attempting to loosen his hold, while your eyes nearly close from the sheer force of the moment. His grip on your neck slackened, and he watched as you sucked in breath, your complexion regaining its normal hue as vitality slowly reclaimed your shaken form. As you caught your breath, Jeno abruptly pressed his lips against yours. The fervor of the kiss was overwhelming. Saying hello to lee, you did.

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lovely-peace · 10 months

Text

Whispers of the Heart

Summary: When you're just pretending to date your crush, are there many worries. And then there is your ex-best friend, whose words still haunt you...

Pairing: Sirius black x hufflepuff!reader

Warnings: past toxic friendship, past toxic relationship (not with the reader), insecurities, self conscious , fake dating

I don't have much time to write from now on so I made this part shorter, sry /wc:+2300

Masterlist

Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

"You can go now." Madam Pomfrey looked at me critically. "And take care of yourself."

I nodded and gathered my things. I hid the flowers among my belongings and sneaked back to our common room. There were only a few people there as it was evening. But those who were there cast curious glances at me.

"If the whole school thought there was something between us, would you be ashamed?"

Part of me wanted to hide, while the other seemed to be flying. I was excited and scared at the same time. These feelings could only be triggered by Sirius, and that scares me.

I rushed up to our room with my things. The other girls were awake and looked at me surprised. Lydia seemed to recover first. "You're feeling better! I'm so glad; you really scared us."

I had to smile crookedly. "I'm sorry."

I unpacked my things and sorted them back in. Lydia and Maya just watched me. Eventually, Maya broke the silence. "Hey, I can't stand it anymore, what happened? You have to tell us!"

She sat on her bed and looked at me with an expectant smile. I don't know exactly why, but that somehow made me happy. Seraph had never asked about me or shown any interest in what was going on with me.

Without her, I almost felt lighter. Was it wrong to think that?

"It's complicated; I'm still overwhelmed by everything that happened," I said finally. I had now finished putting everything away, and the flowers were smiling at me.

When Lydia saw them, she squealed, "Are those from Sirius?" Her voice was very high-pitched.

I nodded. "Does one of you have a vase? Or a cup, that would work too."

Eagerly, Lydia rummaged on her bedside table and finally gave me a cup. I thanked her and filled the cup with water, placing the flowers inside. I put them on my nightstand, and they looked radiant.

"Are you two a couple?" Maya asked with a smile on her face.

Shit.

If I say now that we're a couple, it feels like I'm lying. But if I claim the opposite, then the truth about Sirius will come out in the next few days.

"Wasn't Seraph with him until three months ago?" Lydia asked, and my feelings of guilt returned and plagued me.

"Yes, Seraph was with him," I finally said, staring at the flowers.

Lydia said nothing for a while. Then she cautiously asked, "What does she think of him and you?"

I tensed unknowingly, and the flowers seemed to lose some of their shine. "She's angry. She made it clear to me this afternoon that she wants nothing to do with me."

Maya sighed. "Honestly, I'm glad you have nothing to do with her anymore," she said.

I looked at her surprised. "Why?"

She looked nervously away. "Well, she always dragged you around with her and kept us away from you."

My eyes widened. "Did she?"

Lydia laughed nervously. "Yes, she constantly made it clear that you belonged to her, and we shouldn't take you away from her."

That didn't sound like the words she threw at me.

Maya shook her head and looked at me with a sad smile. "And when she saw you with Sirius, last Christmas, she immediately went after him. Even though she had no interest in him before. I'm glad you're with him now and not letting her hold you back."

Did she know I had a crush on him? Had she always known that I liked him and still said all those things? Had she known all those years I admired him from afar, and yet she talked about me to him? Did she still flirt with him? Did she still come crying to me when he broke up with her, expecting me to take her side?

"Hey, are you okay?" Maya looked at me concerned. I just nodded and smiled at her.

"Can I still have breakfast with you tomorrow?" I asked eventually. Maya just smiled at me.

"No, you can't. You have to!" she said. "We have to look after you so you don't end up in the hospital again!"

Lydia giggled excitedly and hugged me. "I'm so glad you're feeling better! From today on, we're all friends, okay??" she asked, looking excitedly into my eyes.

I smiled and nodded. Then she hugged me again and squealed with excitement. Maya and I laughed along.

This was one of the most beautiful evenings I had ever had.

"(Y/n), wake up, we need to go to breakfast!" Maya called before disappearing into the bathroom. I turned to the other side of the bed, trying to fall back asleep. I almost succeeded, but then a pillow hit me.

"Don't fall asleep again! Come on." Lydia called from the other side of the room. I sighed and sat up. I rubbed my eyes and searched for my things to get ready.

When Maya came out of the bathroom, I quickly slipped in and got ready. I looked in the mirror, and even the green hair didn't bother me that much.

When I came out, Maya and Lydia were already waiting for me. I smiled at them, and we went to the Great Hall together. I was so happy that even the looks from others didn't bother me. Until I saw her gaze.

Seraph looked at me as if I were a disgusting insect daring to buzz around. She wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes. Suddenly, I felt insecure. But Maya pulled me along to our place.

We sat down at the table. Maya sat next to Lydia, and I sat across from them.

"To be honest, I have no desire for Professor Binns' class," Maya sighed loudly. But then she looked at me with a curious grin. "I'd much rather hear what's going on with you and Sirius."

I laughed nervously, hoping it was just a joke, but she kept looking at me that way. Eventually, I sighed. "It's complicated," I said finally. To be honest, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how he wanted to pretend we were together.

Lydia giggled. "I don't know what you mean; he seems totally into you. I mean, he's staring at you right now!"

My eyes widened. "Is he?" I asked and turned around slowly. And sure enough, Sirius was looking into my eyes, smiling at me while James was telling him something. I smiled back cautiously and turned back around.

Maya looked at me expectantly. I quickly lowered my head to my breakfast and ate something. Then she sighed. "What do you have as the first class today?" she asked finally.

"Transfiguration. It's not bad; we worked well last time and already solved the assignment," I replied, trying to collect myself.

Lydia clapped excitedly. "I have Transfiguration too! You have to explain it to me, please, please!"

I laughed. "Don't worry, we can sit down together and look at it again."

Suddenly, both of them became quiet and looked behind me. Then they grinned at each other and lowered their gaze to their food.

"What's -"

"Darling, how are you?" Sirius asked and sat down next to me. He smiled at me warmly. My gaze wandered first to him, then to his friends. James was just grinning, while Remus continued to eat. Peter was also looking at us, and they weren't the only ones.

I saw glances directed at us from almost everywhere. I laughed nervously and suddenly felt very tense. "I'm good," I finally said in a softer voice.

Sirius didn't let the audience show at all. He just smiled and brushed a green strand of hair from my face. "I'm glad. Do you have time after school today?"

I could barely get words out and just nodded. He grinned even wider as if I had saved his day. "We can go over the material you missed yesterday. Does that sound good?"

I smiled back at him unsurely. "Yes, that sounds great." I thought he would then leave, but he stayed and looked at me critically for a moment. "How much have you eaten today?" he asked, almost like my mother.

I laughed at that. "I've eaten a lot already; I have witnesses!" I said, forgetting the others who were watching us.

Sirius looked over at my friends and grinned at them. "Take care of her, okay?" he said playfully, and Maya and Lydia just nodded and grinned.

"Hey, it happened once, it doesn't happen all the time!" I said, but Sirius turned away from me now.

"You can only say that when you don't end up in the hospital wing again this month, love," he said, and I could hear his grin. Lydia wiggled her eyebrows at me, and I had to laugh.

When I was finished, I took my things and wanted to go to Transfiguration, but then Sirius took my things and smiled at me. "Let's go, love," he said and turned around to leave.

"I was actually going with Lydia," I started, but Lydia shook her head and made frantic hand movements.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, looking at me inquisitively. I shook my head and smiled at him. "You don't have to carry my things, you know?"

He looked at me critically. "Darling, maybe I don't have to, but I want to! Is it so hard to believe that I want to help my girlfriend?"

Maya grinned at me, and Lydia's mouth was open in astonishment. I suddenly felt way too hot and light at the same time.

"Come on, let's go," he took my hand and held both my and his things pressed against himself with the other hand; I don't know how he managed that. Warmth flowed through my hand and slowly spread through my body.

We walked through the corridors, and when we were alone, I wanted to take my things back, but he held them up so high that I couldn't reach them.

"Forget it, I'll go through with this completely now! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I gave you your things back the moment we're alone? I can give you the answer: a bad one!" he said with a smug grin.

I blushed against my will. "But you're not really-"

He suddenly looked at me with a look that made me immediately regret what I was about to say.

"You know, when we're not in front of others, then you're not really-" he interrupted me with a quick kiss on the cheek, silencing me.

He smiled at me, almost nervously. "What if someone sees us when we thought we were alone? No, if that happens, then I'll take care of everything, you can count on that."

Before I could say anything in response, we were in front of the Transfiguration room, surrounded by people. He put my things on my table and winked at me before going to his seat.

James finally sat down next to me with an amused grin on his face. I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile.

"So…" he began. "How did it happen?" He looked at me expectantly, which made me laugh nervously.

"Why don't you ask Sirius?"

James just rolled his eyes. "He never wants to say anything about it."

I smiled at him briefly. "Then I probably shouldn't either."

Before James could ask more questions, the lesson began.

The hours flew by, and after each class, Sirius would take my things and carry them to the next one.

At first, I tried to convince him that he didn't have to do that, but he remained stubborn, so I eventually gave up. I didn't understand why it was so important to him. Carrying my things wouldn't make any difference in how others perceived us. He was only doing it for show, not because he wanted to.

But I wished so much that he genuinely wanted to do it. Was that wrong?

Was it wrong that it somehow made me happy? I liked the feeling of someone doing something for me because they wanted to. Did that make me a toxic person?

After the last class, Lydia approached me before Sirius could. She looked around for him first and saw him engaged in a conversation. Then she smiled widely at me.

"You're going to the library later to study with him, right?" she asked me, and I nodded.

"If you ever have some free time with him, could we study Transfiguration together? I'm really bad at it," she pouted slightly and looked at me with pleading eyes.

I chuckled. "Of course, we can do that. I should have some time tomorrow."

She looked at me with a questioning gaze. "Don't you think he might have plans with you tomorrow and want to do something together? Because it's not that urgent for me, I can ask someone else."

I looked at her in confusion. "Why would he want to do something with me tomorrow?"

She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "Tomorrow is his Quidditch match, hello?"

"After the game, he probably wants to celebrate with his friends, right? I don't want to interfere with that," I replied, feeling somewhat uncertain. I thought he would want to spend time with his teammates after the match, not with me.

"How would you interfere with that? You would just join the celebration, right? Why do you think that?" Lydia said with a puzzled expression.

Every time I asked Seraph if I could join her at the Quidditch celebration, she always told me that I would only be a bother. And even now, I believed her more than myself.

"I don't know, somehow I feel like I would just be a nuisance there," I said cautiously, but Lydia gasped in shock.

"You would never… Wait, did he tell you that? If so, that's super toxic—"

"No, no, he didn't. He didn't have to say anything. We haven't talked about it," I reassured her, but before she could say anything else, someone cleared their throat behind us.

We turned to see Sirius, who was looking at me with that indistinguishable expression again.

"Can we talk for a moment?" he asked me, but it sounded more like a desperate demand.

I simply nodded and wondered how much he had heard and if I had said anything wrong. He took my hand and began pulling me with him, and Lydia held my other hand.

"Don't get any wrong ideas, Black," she said, trying to sound serious and threatening, but her slightly raised corners of the mouth betrayed her. Then she let us go.

Sirius almost dragged me through the castle until we eventually went outside. He led me to the Black Lake, where he finally sat down. I cautiously sat next to him.

He stared out at the lake, still wearing that intense expression. Eventually, I couldn't stand the silence and asked him, "What's wrong?"

He glanced at me briefly, then looked back at the lake. He picked up a small stone and threw it into the water. It skipped four times.

"I wonder what you think of me."

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

He threw another stone. This one skipped five times. "Sometimes, you say things that sound like I'm not voluntarily with you. Sometimes, you look at me as if you expect me to take advantage of you. You have this look as if you don't trust me."

"Please, Whisky, as if he ever really wants to have anything to do with you! He was a jerk to you from the moment we first met; you just don't interest him!"

I could still hear Seraph's laughter distinctly.

I looked at him and wanted to reassure him, but I couldn't find the words. He looked at me, and his gaze was so intense that it took my breath away.

"Is it so hard to believe that I enjoy being with you?" he whispered, so softly that I could barely hear it.

"No, it's not," I tried to reassure him. He looked back at the lake.

We didn't believe each other.

He chuckled softly and closed his eyes. "You have that look again," he whispered.

We remained silent for a while, simply listening to the sound of the lake. We sat there for a while, and at some point, I felt his gaze on me.

I turned to him and saw that he was looking at my green hair. He raised his hand but stopped midway. Then he looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry that the prank hit you. Does it bother you a lot?" he asked, looking at me with big eyes.

"I do want my old hair back, yes," I said, looking back at the lake.

"Why?" he asked, still looking at me.

I laughed at the question. "Have you seen me? I look terrible with it." Even worse than usual.

He was quiet for a moment. I looked back at him, and his gaze softened. Suddenly, he pulled me towards him and enveloped me in his arms. His warm arms gently wrapped around my body and stroked my back.

"I find you beautiful, with or without green hair. Besides, it looks great on you, love. I think we need to take you to an eye doctor," he whispered in my ear.

I felt myself blush and buried my face further in his arms. It felt like my body was on fire. How could Sirius trigger these feelings in me?

"Let's go to the library; we still need to study yesterday's material," he whispered to me after we had been in that position for a while.

I pulled away from him and nodded to him. He smiled and took my hand again, setting off another fireworks of emotions within me.

"You don't need me at all!" said Sirius dramatically after we finished with Defense Against the Dark Arts as well. I laughed and handed him his notes.

He watched me as I wrote down my own notes and marked the important things. Eventually, he got up. "I'm going to grab one of the spell books real quick to explain Charms better to you, okay?" he said, and I gave him a thumbs up while continuing to write.

I packed up my Defense Against the Dark Arts stuff and took out my Charms materials when I saw her.

Seraph was sitting in the other corner of the room, smiling at me, sending a cold shiver down my spine. The other Slytherin girls sitting at her table were the ones who were also at the party. They were her roommates.

Slowly, Seraph got up and approached me. I lowered my gaze again, hoping she would walk past me. But she stopped in front of me.

"He's helping you catch up with the material, right?" she said, and I heard the grin in her voice.

I looked up at her, wondering how I had never noticed the coldness in her eyes before.

"He probably just went off to fetch one of the books that could help you, right?"

I lowered my head again and looked at my notes.

"Can I tell you something? He did the exact same thing with me. He probably invited you to his Quidditch celebration, just like he did with me. He's just using you as a replacement, can you believe it?"

I tried to tune her out, but I couldn't.

"Oh, Whisky, you're so blind. Why don't you ever listen to me?" Her voice was gentle, and a part of me let her words in.

"He's just passing the time with you." With that, she turned around and walked back to her friends, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

When Sirius came back, I couldn't look him in the eyes. He returned with a book, which he proudly presented to me.

"I was a bit unsure at first, but with this book, I can easily explain the spell to you-"

I felt sick as Seraph's words replayed in my head. "Can we do the rest tomorrow? I'm feeling quite exhausted," I said to quickly get away from here.

He looked somewhat disappointed but then nodded. "Sure, but take the book with you and read Chapter 4 about Household Charms. It should help." He handed me the book.

"Thanks, Sirius," I said, putting the book away safely. I wanted to get up and leave, but he suddenly reached for my hand.

"Will you come to the match tomorrow?" he asked, looking vulnerable all of a sudden.

I smiled weakly at him. "Yes, I'll be cheering for you. Slytherin shouldn't beat you guys."

He nodded briefly but didn't let go of me. "And would you celebrate the game with me afterward?"

I nodded in response, feeling something warm inside. But as he smiled back at me, Seraph's words came rushing back.

"He's just passing the time with you."

I pulled my hands out of his and quickly left the library. He didn't follow me.

"You had that look again," the older Black whispered as he watched her leave.

Taglist: @theofficialmadman @fanboyluvr @fjdjsiskcjfj @starsval @olkathedestroyer @helloitsmeeeeeee @xamapolax @maripositanoctruna

#marauders era #marauders #the marauders #dead gay wizards #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #sirius x reader #sirius black angst #sirius black x reader #sirius black fic #hufflepuff reader

378 notes · View notes

jjsmaybank20 · 1 year

Text

Finally Got the Girl

Maddy Perez x Fem!Bennett!reader

Summary: Maddy had feelings for you before you graduated, there is no denying it. What happens when you come home for summer break, a little different than you were when you left?

Warnings: language, mentions of smut, mentions of Nate (🤮)

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Requested by someone over on my wattpad. Hope y'all enjoy this!

navigation euphoria masterlist

---

You had always intrigued Maddy. She knew of you because she knew everyone, but she really only paid attention to you at first because you were her best friend's little sister's best friend's older sister. Distant connection, but enough of a connection that she decided that you were worth watching.

You were a quiet girl, the calm to your younger sister's storm. You were the type of person that adults would talk about, whispering things like, "Don't doubt that one, they're going to be gorgeous someday." When Maddy knew you in high school, you were awkward, lanky, and constantly nervous, but nonetheless attractive in your own way.

The two of you were close, some would say closer than friends should be. The only real fights the two of you would have would be about Nate Jacobs, Maddy's then-boyfriend. You hated him with a burning passion after what he did to your sister, and any chance you got you would pick him apart. You didn't understand what she saw in him.

She couldn't help but be saddened when you went off to college, but she was happy that you had made it out of East Highland. You had managed to stay in a hidden back corner of her mind, making her believe that the feelings she had had for you had been practically forgotten, but as soon as you came back for summer break, they came rushing back instantly and even more intensely than they used to be.

Because while you were away at college, those adults's predictions about you had come true. You had fully grown into yourself, flaunting a new air of confidence that you never used to have. One contributing factor of this was that you had gotten absolutely jacked.

Maddy's first encounter of your practically new self was at the Howard residence. She was hanging out with the girls, Rue mostly being there for Jules and Lexi, when they all heard a car pulling into the driveway. Confused, Cassie moved towards the window of her room to try and catch a glimpse of who might have just arrived at her house. To her surprise, a familiar tall, muscular woman pulled herself out of a stylish sports car and folded her sunglasses before hooking them on the neck of her muscle shirt.

"Holy shit, is that Y/N? Goddamn!" The rest of the girls crowd around the window, trying to spot you as you walk towards the front door. As soon as Kat sees you, she gasps before exclaiming, "She got hot! I'm sorry Rue, I know she's your sister, but I would totally let her rail me and I'm not even gay."

Maddy rolls her eyes, muttering to her friend, "That's a pretty gay thing to say," even though she was thinking the exact same thing. The group hears the doorbell ring, making them all rush towards the stairs but trying to stay out of sight. They watch Suze open the door before hearing your distinctly deeper voice.

"Hey, Ms. Howard. My mom said that Rue was here? Just wanted to say hi to my little sister, and maybe a few old friends if they're around." Suze stares at you in shock for a few seconds, surprised by your new stature, before pulling you down into a hug. "Holy crap, sweetie! I almost didn't recognize you! Have you been working out?" The older blonde woman playfully squeezes your arm to accentuate her question.

They hear you laugh uncomfortably before Rue pushes her way through the pack and runs down the stairs towards you. She practically jumps into your arms, and you let out a groan and a laugh before squeezing her tightly. "Hey, RueRue. How are you doing?" You then pull back and give her a serious look, stating dangerously, "You better be staying off those drugs. I am not dealing with you going to rehab again. If that happens, the drugs won't kill you, I will."

Rue laughs, saying, "Yeah, yeah. I haven't been doing any of that shit. My girlfriend's really helped me out." You smile at her, and Rue waves towards the stairs, gesturing for the rest of the group to come down. They slowly make their way towards the two of you, and the people you already know you pull into a hug.

When you get to Maddy, you hold her tightly in your arms. "Mads. I missed you." Maddy buries her head in your neck, breathing in your scent. You hold her for a while longer before Rue uncomfortably clears her throat. You pull back awkwardly, turning to Jules and missing the silent conversation that Maddy and Kat have with their eyes.

"You must be the girlfriend. I'm Y/N. Now, at some point I'll probably give the protective older sister speech, but for now I just wanted to say thank you. You helped Rue get better, and that automatically puts you in my very good graces." Jules smiles at you and introduces herself. She holds out her hand for you to shake, but you shake your head and pull her into a hug.

Once everyone has been greeted, you clap your hands and exclaim, "Okay. I just stopped by to say hi, and also to tell Rue to be home for dinner. Invite your girlfriend. I am going to head out then-" Maddy can't seem to stop herself as she blurts out, "Stay."

All heads turn to look at her, each showing a different expression. Kat's and Lexi's displaying shock and realization, Cassie's and Rue's lean more towards confusion, and yours surprisingly holding nervousness and an expression that Maddy can't quite place. She looks down at her feet, feeling embarrassment quickly taking over her, but thank goodness Lexi notices and covers for her as fast as she can.

"Yeah! We haven't seen you in months, Y/N/N. Hang around for a bit. Please?" You sigh and nod, and the girls cheer before dragging you upstairs. You hear Suze laughing behind you as you get pulled towards the inevitable interrogation about college, love, and probably sex.

---

Almost as soon as you sit down, the questions come at you, rapid fire. You gesture for them to slow down before pointing at Kat and saying, "Go." She nods before shooting a mischievous look towards Maddy.

"Any special someone? I bet the girls are all vying for your attention. You're fucking hot." You laugh at her boldness and shake your head. "Nah. Haven't met the right person yet. Went on a couple dates, most of them turned into one night stands or they just didn't work out."

Maddy can't help but be happy with your answer, even if she was jealous of the women who were able to sleep with you before she could. You catch sight of her elated expression, which makes you smile. If you were being honest with yourself, ever since you had met her, you had hosted a healthy crush on the feisty latina woman.

You thought it would fade when you left home, and when it didn't, you tried to distract yourself with other women. That didn't work either. Every time you slept with someone else, you couldn't help but imagine that it was Maddy underneath you, moaning your name.

You are snapped out of your fantasy when Rue calls your name. "Huh? What's up?" She shakes her head, smiling. "You're still so fucking spacey. Pay attention. Cassie asked about hot dudes or some shit." You laugh, pulling out your phone, which causes multiple confused looks to form on their faces.

You pull up a couple of pictures of your friends from college, passing your phone to Cassie. You point to two brunette boys, a blonde, and a raven haired boy. "Okay, so. The tall brunette is Jack, the short one is Liam. The blonde is Turner. That last one is Ben. All of them are single and honestly, quite annoyingly desperate. You're hot, you basically have your pick."

Cassie 'ooos', and the rest of the girls crowd around to look at the boys besides Maddy. You glance over at her before moving to sit next to her. "Your not still dating that fucker, Nate, are you? Not looking at the boys cause you're being loyal to the asswhipe?" She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head.

"Nah. I've been into someone else for a while now." You smile at her, rolling your head to the side. "Who? Give me a hint." Maddy pretends to think about it for a second. "It's... your mom. She's just too hot." You shove her shoulder good-naturedly, muttering, "Oh, fuck you. But seriously, who is it? I wanna know who I have to beat up to get into your heart."

Maddy practically chokes on her spit at your bold statement before trying to recover some shred of her dignity. "Well, you can't really physically beat yourself up, can you?" She watches as the smile on your face grows before you grab her phone from the floor in front of her and hold it in front of her face to unlock it. She watches you, confused, but all you say is, "Putting my number in. Got important shit to text you about."

---

Mads 💖

You

if u work on a farm, and ur job is to take care of chickens, u are a chicken tender

Mads 💖

this is the important shit that u needed to text me about?

You

just a thought, dont be a hater. also, nope. im taking you out tomorrow night. be ready at 7ish, i'll stop by ur place.

Mads 💖

do i even have a choice?

You

yes ofc, but im assuming you want to go out with me.

Mads 💖

true

aight i'll be ready and waiting

You

can't wait 😉

---

Maddy stood anxiously by her front door, waiting for the doorbell to ring. She had spent at least 3 hours on the phone with Kat trying to get ready. She finally settled on a revealing but not 'too slutty' dress, in the words of Kat.

When the ring of the bell finally sounds throughout the house, Maddy practically throws the door open. There you are, standing slightly in shock, prepared to ring the bell again. You are wearing a white dress shirt with the top buttons undone and nice black pants.

You stare at Maddy for a few seconds, in awe of her. You finally shake yourself out of your stupor, holding your arm out so that she can hook hers around it. "Your chariot awaits, M'Lady." Maddy pushes you playfully, and you grin back at her.

"We have a great night planned. First, a restaurant. Then, a moonlight stroll on this super dope path I found. Then we can do whatever you want." Maddy nods excitedly, and the two of you hop in the car and head towards the restaurant that you had chosen.

---

The restaurant had been delicious, and Maddy couldn't help but swoon at your chivalry and adorable charm. You seemed to have put up a confident front for the rest of your friends, but deep down you were still that same shy, insanely intelligent kid that she used to watch.

As you walk through the park, you chat with her about the most random things. Suddenly you stop, forcing Maddy to back pedal so that she is even with you again. She is about to ask you why you had stopped, but then she catches sight of what you are looking at.

A beautiful pond that is sparkling with moonlight is directly in front of you and you can barely stop yourself from moving forwards and closer towards it. Maddy comes up beside you and slowly weaves her fingers through yours. You turn to say something to her, but your breath gets caught in your throat. The moonlight is reflecting perfectly on her, making her hair shimmer and her eyes glitter.

Instead of speaking, you quickly move your hands to cup her cheeks and kiss her quickly. When you realize what you had just done, you pull back quickly and try to turn away, apologizing profusely. Maddy just shakes her head and cuts off your apologetic rambling with another more intense kiss.

You freeze for a second before melting into the feeling of her soft lips on yours. She tastes like strawberries, and you feel her grab your face to try to pull you closer. Your hands find her waist, and you pull her flush against you, causing her to let out a soft sigh. She nips your lip, which makes you groan, and soon your tongues are intertwined and dancing together.

When you finally have to pull away for a breath of air, you rest your forehead on hers. "That was..." Maddy nods, finishing, "Really good. Really, really good." You let out an elated laugh, pulling her in for one more short but still intense kiss. When you look into her eyes, you ask, "Will you finally be mine? I really like you Mads. So... be mine?"

Maddy grins at you, replying, "I'm already yours." You reconnect your hands, and walk the rest back to your car, enjoying each other's company. Since you had met her, your goal had been to be Maddy's person. In high school, you had never had the confidence. But now, you finally got the girl.

---

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