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#to be and now here i am all the time it feels like. bored.
jeannineee · 1 day
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coming up lavender, part two
cassian x reader x azriel
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part one
author’s note: thank you guys for the love on part one <3 i’m very excited about this series!! comment or message me to be added to the taglist!!
summary: the high lord of the night court and his inner circle have taken reader from her home—the only one she’s ever known. what awaits her now? what interest could they have in her?
warnings: angst!! emetophobia warning at the beginning--it's brief!! ptsd, reader recounts her traumatic childhood. misogyny, and other canon-typical themes. this is an 18+ series.
Hands collide roughly with wooden flooring; grit your teeth as you rise to your feet. A poorly-stifled chuckle has you whirling around, glaring at the assailant: Cassian.
"Welcome to the House of Wind."
The Illyrian grins, despite the ire in your expression. "You'll get more used to it over time--winnowing, that is."
You hunch over, finally hurling the contents of your stomach. At least it didn't happen in the great hall.
"Eventually, that won't happen, either," Rhysand adds from beside Cassian as he plucks seemingly invisible dirt from his tailored suit. Where the rest of his inner circle had gone, you couldn't be sure.
You dry heave a few times before standing straight once again, and ball your hands into fists at your sides to mask their shaking. "What do you want?"
Rhysand waves his hand, disentegrating the mess you left on the floor, then studies you for a moment, face unreadable. "For now?Nothing. Nuala and Cerridwen will show you to your room. We'll start training in the next few days. Once you're settled in."
Instinctually tense as a hand grabs your arm from behind you. "Don't touch me," you hiss, only to immediately relent and flush with embarassment as you meet the eyes of the two females Rhysand mentioned. "I'm sorry."
"Nonsense. We should've said something before touching you," the taller of the two murmurs, an all-too-familiar pity lacing her words. "I'm Nuala," she points to the shorter female beside her, "My sister, Cerridwen."
You give the sisters a tight-lipped smile, and follow them out of the main room. And try to ignore the way shame weighs on your chest as you feel the males' eyes boring into your back--surely noting your reaction.
~~~
To your relief, no one bothered you the first two days, besides Nuala and Cerridwen to ensure you were eating and drinking.
Until now, with Morrigan at your door. You recognized her from court, though the two of you were much younger. Before your power grew, and you were shut out from the world.
"Are you adjusting well?"
Take a step back as she enters your room, cross your arms over your chest as a defense. "Hard to adjust when I have no idea where I am, or what I'm here for. I barely know who any of you are. Who you are, even."
"You can call me Mor, for starters," she says, trying for a smile. "I'd rather let Rhys explain exactly why you're here. But know that you're safe. You're free."
Your brows furrow, words caught in your throat as you consider the weight of Mor's words. Free. Free. Free.
Slowly, Mor takes your hands in hers. Squeezes gently. Understanding in her eyes. She's been here before.
"Would you like to see the library?"
Eyes light up. You nod; blink back tears. "Yes, I would."
~~~
After mere minutes in the library, you decided you would be content to spend the rest of your life there. You likely could spend the rest of your life there, with countless books still left unread.
Mor gets distracted by a couple of the priestesses, leaving you to your own devices. Fingers trace the dusty spines of books far older than you, far older than the space they reside in.
Heavy footsteps sound behind you, and you turn, to once again be met with Cassian. Hair tied back in a knot, sky-blue shirt with a few buttons undone, showing off a chiseled chest--
You silently curse yourself, thanking the Mother he can't read thoughts. Can he?
Clear your throat, arms once again wrapping around yourself. Wrack your brain for something casual to say.
"There are a lot of books here."
State the painfully obvious. Way to go, genius.
A smile from Cassian that sends your heart aflutter. "Not used to seeing so many books, I take it?"
Hold his gaze, fingertips digging into your arms out of habit. "We--my father had a library in our estate, but it's much smaller. I wasn't permitted to enter very often."
Cassian stares. "Oh..."
Realization dawns on you, and you bark a laugh. "I can read. It was one of the few things I could do, back...home." You falter on the last word, tasting bitterness on your tongue. "It's simply discouraged for women in the Hewn City. Deemed 'uneccessary.'"
He shakes his head, and somehow, you can feel his disgust, his rage.
Shrug off the feeling, try to muster a smile. "Well, if the House of Wind is this beautiful, I can only imagine what the city is like."
Cassian smiles. "Velaris is beautiful. I'd love to show you around, eventually. There's this restaurant by the Sidra that--"
"Eventually...?"
He nods. "We have to make sure your powers aren't volatile--"
"Volatile? I've spent decades shielding my power from other people. What makes you think--"
"We don't know what to think, y/n. We don't know you. We haven't seen your powers, beyond what little you showed the day we rescued--"
A bitter laugh. "Rescued. Does wording it that way make you feel better?"
Cassian's expression hardens. "What else would you call it?"
Bite your tongue, ignore the way your power stirs underneath your skin. "Am I free to leave the House?"
Cassian sighs, face quickly changing to one of pity. "You have to-"
"Stop looking at me like that. Am I free to leave the House? To explore the city?"
A long breath. "No. But you can explore the entire House. I can fly you around--"
Arms tighten around yourself as you scoff. "Then I suppose I've simply traded one prison for another."
Turn on your heel, ignore the way your chest oddly aches with each step you take. "I'm going back to my room."
Mor appears from behind one of the shelves as your start climbing the stairs. "Do you need help getting back?"
"I can find it myself. Unless I need an escort, too?"
The pair look away; picture of shame.
You don't spare another glance to either of them as you leave.
~~~
The corridor to your room feels tighter than usual, windows smaller. Loose another shaky breath to leash the panic threatening to spill over.
At least you weren't in your father's grasp. That had to be something. But what did you trade it for?
Racing thoughts cease as you spot shadows swirling at the end of the hall. They recoil suddenly as you gaze at them--as if shocked they were caught.
"If you have something to say, Shadowsinger, best to ask me to my face."
Nails bury in your palms as you wait for a response, heart thumping behind your ribcage.
Shadows dissipate as a figure walks through. Not quite as tall as Cassian, but he still towers over you. Visibly marred hands tucked into his pockets, wearing a gray sweater that looks so comfortable you consider stealing it from him.
"You're observant," Azriel says, lips turned up ever-so-slightly.
Roll your eyes, fight off a smile. "For someone of your position--the renowned Azriel Shadowsinger, one would think your shadows would be better hidden."
Smile widens, revealing pretty white teeth. "They were hidden. I've never seen anyone notice them so easily." As he speaks, confusion paints his face for only a second before disappearing. "Are you okay?"
His eyes dart to where your hands still remain in fists. He can likely hear your heartbeat, smell your panic.
Stiffen, rub your hands along your sides. "I'm fine. I'll be fine."
He seems inclined to question further, but thinks better of it. "Alright."
Pick at your nails, glance down the hall. "I hate to be rude, but I was trying to go--"
"To your room."
"--to my room."
You laugh as the two of you speak in unison. "Yes. My room." You offer another smile, begin to walk past.
"What's your name?" Azriel questioned.
You turn, arch a brow. "There's no way you don't know my name. Rhys, or someone had to tell you."
A shrug. "I forgot. Remind me."
Liar. You smile.
"Y/n."
"Y/n," Azriel repeats. You try to bury the way your cheeks warm, hearing your name on his tongue. "Have a good evening, y/n."
You nod, and hurry off to your room. It isn't until your door is shut that you realize your smile hasn't left your face.
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echobx · 6 hours
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It's... complicated?- Rafe Cameron × polyam!reader & JJ Maybank × polyam!reader
summary: you're in a relationship with Rafe, but a one night stand with JJ turns into more and suddenly you find yourself entangled in a relationship that you don't plan on getting out of any time soon
general warnings: cheating, angst, fluff, smut, swearing, lying, reader being a bitch, talk of marriage angst warnings: mention of death, downward spiral, self-doubt, fighting (verbally), fighting (physically), traumatized reader smut warnings: p in v (unprotected), oral (f & m receiving), 3 way, cnc, creampie/cumdump, spanking, dirty talk, praise kink, degradation kink, (heavy) pda, subdrop adjacent, aftercare, foreplay, toy use (not primarily), overstimulation
word count: 19k
author's note: this started as a Rafe fic but immediately my brain fucked me over and then I was too deep to change it so I kept it and decided to explore the throuple idea. I wanted to not have it be cheating plot but I couldn't figure out how to do that while keeping the set dynamic, so I hope you're gentle with me on that :) I genuinely hope you enjoy it, it's the longest one part one shot I've ever written lol (p.s. I wanted to do dvp here but I couldn't find an appropriate place for it, but if you want it, I can write it separately)
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“Can you maybe not do lines on my boobs tonight? Last time you got some on my vintage Chanel dress and I haven't managed to get it out yet,” you ask Rafe while leaning in the door of his room, watching him get ready.  “I'll just buy you a new one,” he shrugs and buttons his shirt up. “That's not the point, babe, and you know it,” you shake your head, swaying your perfect curls. “It's also vintage, and you can't just buy a new one. Besides, I paid for it, not you.”  “You mean your dad paid for it?” he eyes you with a smirk playing on his pink lips.  “Nope, pretty sure that it counts for me now,” you smile, faking it as per usual when the topic of your dad comes up. “Dead people can't pay for shit.”  He steps over to you, tilting your chin up and kissing you. “Let's not talk about him. Instead, we can go and have fun, all right?” 
“Eugh, whose house is this?” you scoff as he stops the car in the driveway. The mansion isn't even half the size of your own, and it makes you feel a little disappointed.  “Hey, be nice,” Rafe smiles and takes your hand up to kiss it before getting out and opening your door for you.  “I am always nice,” you tell him, but he knows it's a lie. Your way of being nice is what other people would call bitchy or bossy. You aren't nice like people want you to be, not since your dad has died. He was the only one who you had tried your best for.  “You know I love to see your claws out, but I have to sell shit tonight, so none of that, please,” Rafe begged, his arm tight around your waist.  You roll your eyes and look up at him, “fine.” 
The party is already going, and a few people greet you while walking in. You find Topper and Kelce rather quickly, taking your seat next to Rafe you let your eyes wander as they talk.  “You know, you guys are boring as fuck,” you groan after having had to listen to them talk about golfing for twenty minutes straight.  “Since when are we here for your entertainment, y/n,” Kelce scoffs, but he gulps as you get up and lean over him.  “Maybe you should suck a dick to fix your fucking attitude,” you snarl and walk away towards the kitchen. You never cared what Rafe's friends thought of you, you never cared what anybody thought of you. 
“Look what the cat dragged in,” you roll your eyes at the blonde boy, who's leaning against the counter. His ring clad fingers are holding onto the solo cup, but the flirtatious smile is just for you. You had gathered as much over time.  “One day, you'll beg, y/l/n,” he says and takes a sip.  “Not if I make you beg first, Maybank,” you smirk and take the bottle of tequila to fill two shot glasses.  “I never beg,” he counters, and you laugh.  “Oh, I'd bet my BMW you do.”  “Does Rafe?”  “I won't tell you that, you'd just go runnin’round tellin’ people,” you poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue and hold the shot out for him to take. “Be happy that I'm keeping him on a leash. He'd have ripped your head off by now if I didn't.”  You watch him take the shot, and follow. The slight burn in your throat wakes you up, and the warmth in your stomach is familiarly cozy.  “And why would he do that?” JJ asks, tilting his head to the side.  “‘Cause you won't stop staring at my tits, Maybank,” you bite your lip and take the step over to him, leaning in and whispering into his ear. “I know how you look at me, as if I'm the ultimate price. But you wouldn't even be able to handle me on your best days, pretty boy.”  “You underestimate me, princess,” he whispers, and you pull away to look at him fully.  “Maybe in another life, Maybank,” you wink at him, grabbing the bottle of tequila and making your way back to the couch. 
“What he want?” Rafe asks as soon as you get back and take your seat by his side.  “Nothing,” you sigh and kiss Rafe's cheek, leaving a lipstick mark behind. He doesn't need to know how much it riles you up when JJ flirts with you. How much you have to suppress the need to kiss him whenever you see him. It doesn't even make sense why it is like that.  JJ and you have nothing in common, and you are happy about that.  You love being in a relationship with Rafe. You don't care much about love anyway, so why would you need to love the person you are in a relationship with if they are perfect on paper? Rafe is everything your dad had wanted in a future son-in-law. He comes from good money, takes care of the people close to him, and knows how to act around money. You don't need to love him to build a good future with him. After all, your grandparents had done it the same way. And when you look at your own parents' life together, you keep wondering if it had really been the wisest decision to marry for love.  No, love was overrated, and so was whatever you felt when JJ looked at you. 
“You sell any yet?” you ask straight out, and Rafe clears his throat and gives you a look that doesn't really make sense to you. “What?”  “You know they won't buy shit when you're here, unless you act it,” he whispers to you and you roll your eyes.  “Fine, but only one,” you cave, and for the next few hours you play the dumb girlfriend. For some reason, all of his buyers are some type of misogynistic asshole, and the only one who you could talk to without feeling looked down on is Barry. But Barry never gets invited to the parties, because he doesn't fit in.  To you, he's not much different than the businessmen your dad had worked with, the same ones you would have to deal with once you were officially taking over the company. 
“Baby, c’mere,” Rafe claps on his thighs, and you turn to straddle him, giving him a single warning glance to not fuck up.  “Love when you use my tits for it, babe,” you giggle stupidly, but internally you feel like throwing up. And it just gets worse when he puts a little line of the fine powder on your skin and dips his head down to snort it off. Your eyes cross with JJ's as soon as Rafe's head is down, and he vanishes from your vision the moment Rafe comes back up, wiping his nose.  “Thank you, baby,” he smiles and kisses you. It's a show. When you moan into him and buck your hips; and for once you're not sure if the show is for his clients, or for the blonde Pogue who can't keep his eyes off of you.  “I wanna go upstairs,” you whisper to Rafe and he nods.  “Just gimme ten and I'll meet you there.” 
You get up and walk off, towards the stairs. A quick glance back to Rafe, who's focused on counting money, before you take the stairs, downstairs instead of up.  You decide to take a look around. The pool is a perfect 80 °F and if you had swimming stuff with you, you'd consider swimming for a while. Training a little to clear up your mind.  “Didn't you tell him you'd be upstairs, waiting?” You hear JJ behind you and turn around.  “And? I changed my mind. He doesn't care if he fucks me here or at home,” you shrug and JJ shakes his head.  “God, you really are something.”  “What do you want, Maybank?” you sneer, walking around the pool towards the sauna at the end of the room. The sound of your heels on the concrete floor echoes through the huge room.  “Why are you with him if you hate him so much?” he asks and starts walking closer, following you.  “I don't hate him. I hate his friends, anyone but Barry, basically. I hate how he acts around them. But I don't hate him,” you clarify, and JJ nods.  “But you don't love him.”  “Who needs love anyway,” you smile. The picture-perfect smile you had practiced in front of the mirror since you were 12, the same one you had to relearn when your dad had died. It was an ironclad mask.  “I forgot, you don't have a heart,” JJ smiles but drops it instantly.  “Tell me what you want, or leave,” you roll your eyes at him and he steps closer. Your heart starts racing as he leans over you, brushing a curl from your face and tucking it behind your ear.  “What do you want?” he rasps quietly and your eyes flutter, it's a reflex, and you don't know why. You don't understand why he has this effect on you.  “Nothing,” you press out, and his thumb ghosts your lips.  “I don't like when you lie to me, y/n,” JJ whispers, and you can't stop yourself from getting lost in his blue eyes. They are so different from Rafe's. JJ's eyes are bright and hopeful, they feel like happiness entrapped to you. And you can't stand it, because this isn't how it's supposed to be.  “Tell me what you want,” he demands, leaning down to smell your neck, his nose brushing against your skin and giving you goosebumps.  “It’s neither appropriate nor allowed,” you hush, and he chuckles.  "Since when do you care about any of that? You make the rules on this side of the island, don't you, princess?” 
You blame it on the tequila when your lips find his. You blame it on the daiquiri when he leads you into the cold supply closet, without pulling out of your kiss. You would blame it on the coke, when he pushes your dress up and sinks into you; but you hadn't had any coke that night. 
“Fuck, you're so wet for me, baby,” JJ groans, he had sat you down on a lower shelf, and you did your best to hold onto the metal structure that was pressing into your back.  “Shut up and kiss me, asshole,” you gasp, and he does just that. His kisses are wet and sloppy, just like his fast thrusts. But you can't stop kissing him, not only because it feels like heaven and hell combined. But mainly because you know you'd be screaming by the way his cock keeps kissing your cervix.  “You're so good at taking it, princess. Fuck, you feel so good,” JJ moans, and you can't help but feel pride in how much he seems to love it.  “Look at it,” you demand, and he dips his head, focusing on where you are connected. Your slip tucked to the side, but it's ruined anyway, it had been from the moment on he had started to flirt with you.  “What's that say,” JJ asks, his thumb rubbing over your tattoo, making you smirk.  “Eat me, Maybank. It says, eat me,” you moan, and he grins.  “Next time, princess,” he growls and starts rubbing your clit in harsh circles. You don't understand how he does it, but he has you moaning even louder, and clenching around his cock in the matter of minutes. The band in your stomach is ready to burst, and you don't think you've felt this good ever before. It feels like he's made for you, but you know that can't be the case.  “Cum for me, pretty girl. Soak my dick,” JJ breathes into your ear, and as soon as you come undone, he pulls his hand from your clit and shoves his fingers down your throat to shut you up.  You feel afloat and completely dazed when he pulls his fingers out and clasps his hand over your mouth. 
“Shh, quiet,” JJ whispers, and you hear footsteps outside the closet. If someone finds you, you're screwed.  “No, she's not down here either. Check upstairs again, man,” Rafe's annoyed voice carries through the door, and you stare at JJ. You're not scared of what might happen to you if Rafe found out, but more so that he'd finally snap and actually hurt JJ like he had threatened so many times before.  Rafe is still outside the door when JJ decides to start fucking you again, and your eyes roll back uncontrollably. He knows how badly you want to make a sound for him, but you can't let yourself.  As soon as his footsteps carry Rafe back upstairs, you let out a loud groan, pulling JJ into a kiss and purposely squeezing his dick just to prove to him that you're the one in charge. And when his hips stutter, and he spills out inside of you, you don't even mind it. You like the feeling, especially when he keeps fucking it into you, muttering incoherently about how good he fucked you. 
“Do you always praise yourself after?” you ask him after having pulled your dress back down.  “Do you always cheat on your boyfriend with Pogues?” he smirks, and you push him back against the shelf.  “If anyone finds out about this, you are dead, you understand? Either you shut up, and hope for a second time, or I can ruin your life. I don't need Rafe to do it for me, I can do it all by myself. Do you understand?” You poke into his chest and he nods.  “Good,” you take a step back again, and he grabs for your chin, pulling you close again.  “I have one question, princess. Has he ever fucked you raw?”  “I don't trust him enough for that,” you reply, and JJ snorts.  “Why'd you let me, then?”  “You don't sleep around as much as you pride yourself, Maybank. I mean, you're not bad, but- Well, it all comes down to the circles you run in and the ones you don't,” you give him a mean smile and open the door to go look for a bathroom. 
“How do you plan on not letting him find out if he never-”  “I told you, he does what I say. If I say no, he's not getting any,” you tell him and turn a corner towards the bathroom.  “You really got him wrapped around your finger,” JJ laughs.  “You too,” you grin before sitting down to pee, you don't care that he is standing right next to you.  “Didn't you literally call Cally R. disgusting for insinuating that she doesn't mind peeing in her boyfriend's presence?” JJ laughs.  “First of all,” you say while finishing up and standing. “Cally R. is a lying slut, the only reason why she keeps having to piss in front of her boyfriend is because she can't get rid of her std. And why doesn't it go away? Well, because little miss piss queen keeps on fucking Tyler Folly on the side. Calling her disgusting was the kindest thing I could do to her.”  “And the second reason?” JJ cocks his brow up.  “You're not my boyfriend, Maybank. And getting rid of your shit inside me, is kinda necessary unless you want me ending up like Cally,” you give him a threatening smile, and he holds his hands up in defense. “Good.”  “I'm just wondering if it's not hypocritical, with the whole fucking on the side and all,” he mumbles before wetting a towel and trying to remove the red lipstick marks from his face.  “I don't claim to love my boyfriend, and Rafe never claimed to love me. He thinks we have an open relationship on his side. I don't see why it can't be open on both,” you shrug and pull the lipstick from your bra to reapply it.  “Was I- was I better?” JJ mumbles, rubbing his hand over the nape of his neck.  “Could you choose between your two favorite types of food?” you ask, and he starts to grin.  “You know, that's a weird metaphor.”  “Simile,” you correct him, and he exhales a laugh.  “You're a real smartass, y/l/n.”  “And you can be glad you're pretty.”  “Pretty enough to fuck your brains out,” JJ turns you towards him and leans over, his lips ghosting yours and when he pulls back you exhale a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. “See,” he smirks.  “If you want to do it again you can't fuck around, and most importantly you won't tell a soul. But then again, who would even believe you,” you scoff and turn around to leave, taking the stairs and vanishing in the crowd before anyone had noticed where you had come from. 
“Where were you? I was looking all over,” Rafe sounds concerned and hugs you, out of courtesy, surely. Rafe rarely hugs you unless you ask for it, or the social obligations call for it.  “Just here and there, I went upstairs and forgot why. I'm sorry, babe,” you tell him, and he lets it go.  “Hey, y/n, wanna play a game with us?” Topper asks, and you turn to look at the group of people gathered, your eyes get stuck on JJ for just a second before they snap back to Top.  “Sure,” you smile and push Rafe into a chair, sitting down sideways on his lap. 
It's a dumb drinking game, just like always. It stays rather boring until Topper's new girlfriend gets to speak, and you instantly regret your choice to take part.  “Never have I ever had sex with someone in this room,” she giggles and falls back down into Top before they each take a sip of their drinks.  You take a sip, focusing on Rafe, but Rafe is staring right across from where the two of you are sitting.  “Why does Maybank keep staring at you,” he whispers in your ear and you shrug.  “He's a creep, you know that, babe,” you try to calm your boyfriend down, but you know it's not gonna help much. 
“Never have I ever cheated,” JJ says and takes a drink, but the chatter went mute as soon as the words left him. “I thought we were being honest, guys. God, you guys really are some Kooks,” he laughs and stands up to leave. His eyes are yet again fixed on you, but this time you can't force yourself to look away.  “Maybe cheating is just a Pogue quality,” you say, and a few silent mumbles seem to agree with your lie.  “You must know all about that, princess,” JJ smirks and tips his non-existent cap to you before turning and walking away, out of the house and into the darkness.  “He’s so weird,” Topper's girlfriend lets out a disgusted grunt.  “Was he even invited?” Topper asks and I roll my eyes.  “They don't check invitations at the entrance, stupid,” you laugh it off. “He probably stole something,” someone out of the crowd suggested, and you stood up in a light fit of anger, before you realized that you couldn't act on it.  “What would he steal here? Cheap candles from Target?” you scoff and walk off. “Rafe!” you call out, and he takes a moment before he meets you outside by the car. 
“I didn't wanna go home yet,” he complains.  “And? You have to drive me home. After that, you can do whatever the fuck you want,” you scoff at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest.  “What's up with you?” he snorts, opening the door for you and letting you get in.  “I'm tired and annoyed by these people who think they're better than anyone else, just because their dad's play golf and fuck their secretaries,” you mutter, and he stops asking, dropping you off at your house and driving off as soon as you are inside. 
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Weeks go by in which you don't even see a glimpse of JJ. You manage to push the memory so far back into your brain that you don't even dream of it, well, not as often.  And when Rafe fucks you, it's good, it's great, but you don't feel as complete after as you had with JJ. 
“Best pussy in the fucking world,” Rafe groans as he pounds into you from behind. Your face is pressed into the duvet and your ass is high up in the air. He had been stretching you out for what felt like hours. It was good, he hit every single spot inside of you perfectly, but you couldn't get yourself to cum.  “Would be so much better without it, baby,” Rafe rasps, and you're not really listening, just nodding and groaning in response to whatever he's saying.  Before you can actually register what is happening, he has pulled out and slammed into you again, but it feels different. You can feel him more clearly, every single vein on his thick cock, the soft tip that kept nudging your cervix as he went deeper.  “Fuck, I love you, I love this pussy so much,” Rafe moans and without a single warning he cums inside you, filling you up and clouding your mind. You gasp, close to an orgasm but not yet there and if he'd just- but he pulls out and you all you can feel is used.  “Shit, did you not,” he pulls you into him, having fallen into the sheets by your side, but you put on a smile.  “It's okay. Next time,” you tell him and get up to clean yourself up. You curse yourself for losing yourself in your thoughts about JJ instead of paying attention to what your boyfriend had said to you. And now you had two guys thinking they could fuck you over anyway they wanted.
“Are you okay?” Rafe asks as you leave the bathroom wrapped in your robe.  “Yeah, just next time, maybe warn me beforehand. Probably would've been better if we had both finished,” you say and roll your eyes while your back is turned to him.  “Why are you getting dressed?”  “I have to buy q tips, we don't have any left,” you lie and he scoffs.  “You could just ask the help to go buy some, and I could make it up to you. Come on, baby,” he slaps the empty bed to his left, but you shake your head.  “I just need some air, all right.”  “Fine. But text me so I know you're okay,” he sighs and gets up to take a shower. 
You basically run out of the house, jumping in your car and driving off towards the Cut before you realize you don't even know where to go.  You pull out your phone and scroll down a long list of contacts before you find his number, saved under three Xs to remind you to never text him, but here you are, doing just that.  “Where are you?” you type out and hit send, a second later a text appears on your screen.  “why?”  “Tattoo” is all you say, but the three small dots stay for a while and then they vanish. You are about to curse him out when a text pops up.  “you know the Château?” “Routledge?” “yes” You put your phone away and start driving again. Maybe you'd have to thank Topper's weird obsession with Sarah for knowing where the house was, but you really couldn't. 
As soon as you arrive, you kill the engine and jump out of your jeep, stomping towards the porch.  “What the fuck are you doing here?” Kiara sneers at you, but you don't pay her any attention. You grab JJ's hand and drag him into the house.  “That's the wrong way,” he chuckles and holds you back from going deeper into the house, pulling you to the side and into a small bedroom.  “Tell me what's wrong,” he asks, wanting to hold onto you, but you brush him off.  “He said he loved me,” you yell at JJ even though it's not his fault, nor can he do anything about it.  “And that's bad?” he raises his eyebrows at you and you huff.  “Yes. Yes, it is. You don't fuck someone, not let them fucking finish and then tell them you love them,” you hiss quietly, not wanting his friends to be able to hear it all.  “I see. I can help with one of those,” JJ smirks and pulls you into a kiss. A kiss that makes you forget why you even came over. Like a snip of his finger, he had erased all the bad thoughts and feelings inside of you, replacing them with warmth and desire.  “They didn't believe me,” he whispers against your lips before bringing them into another kiss. You pull on his shirt, and he takes it off.  “Told you they wouldn't,” you smile and take your own shirt off before starting to fumble with his shorts.  “Now they have to,” JJ chuckles and pushes his pants down, leaving the boxers on. 
He pushes you onto the bed, kissing you all over, especially focusing on your tits, and you nearly cum just from that. His skilled tongue toys with your nipple while his hand squeezes the other tit mercilessly.  “You have the best tits, baby,” JJ moans against your skin, squeezing them another time before trailing his lips down the valley of your breasts and over your stomach to the hem of your jeans shorts.  “Are you sure?” he asks while looking up at you, but the way he's lying between your legs is godly. His unruly hair is hanging into his face, his lips slightly parted in a mischievous smile.  “I'll go ask one of the others if you don't want to,” you tease him, and he nips at your hips. “Don't ever suggest that shit again, princess.”  “Noted, but only if your tongue’s as good as your dick,” you smirk.  JJ takes his time taking off your shorts, teasing you and edging you on, and you want to drown in the feelings he can so easily conjure in you.  “You smell different,” he notes and presses his nose against your slip. “I'm not gonna do this when you smell like him.”  “I told you,” you sit up on your elbows and look at his disgusted face.  “You didn't say he fucked you raw. That's different, and you know it,” JJ complained and sat back up.  “I don't see the problem. It's an easy fix,” you shrug and pull him closer by his neck. Your lips press against his until you have him lying underneath you. 
“See, easy,” you grin down at him, pulling his boxers down just enough to let his hard cock spring free.  “Aren't you pretty,” you whisper to his pink tip, placing a kiss on it and tasting his salty precum.  “If you do that again, I'm busting a nut. You gotta warn a guy,” he laughs nervously.  “Cute,” you giggle and lift yourself up, pulling your slip to the side and brushing his throbbing tip through your aching slit. You let out a sigh of relief as you sink down on him, the familiarity makes you feel better instantly.  Fucking JJ is easy, it's messy, it's freeing.  You don't mind that he can't keep himself from cumming when you do, because he's ready instantly as if it never had happened.  You claw at his chest while you bounce on him, screaming of pleasure and not caring who can hear you.  Your pussy sounds obscenely wet, and can feel the mix of your many releases spill out of you and onto him. But JJ doesn't care as long as you keep fucking yourself with his dick, he doesn't even mind having to take over when you get a cramp in your leg.  He's moaning and cursing worse than you, calling you all kinds of dirty things, but mostly he's showering you with compliments, which turns you on even more than you had ever thought.  And when he finally pulls out, your pussy is still clenching, pushing out all of his and your cum. 
“Would you look at that, princess. We should definitely not clean you up and send you back home just like that, show him who's actually better at fucking this pretty pussy.” JJ says and takes two fingers to push his cum back into you.  “J, please,” you beg him to stop. You are overstimulated and sore, so sore you feel like you might not be able to walk properly the next few days.  “Oh, but we haven't even done what you promised me, princess. You wouldn't let a poor guy starve, would you?” JJ gives you a pout and moves back to kiss your swollen cunt. A jolt goes through your body as he does it another time.  “You taste so sweet, baby,” he moans into you, his hands massaging your thighs; tongue dipping into your hole and nose brushing against your clit.  You moan and mewl as he slowly kisses and licks you to your orgasm, you can't even remember how many you've had that day, but what you do know is that the last one was the best one. 
“Where'd you learn to use your tongue like that?” you ask him out of breath as he's lying next to you.  “Natural talent, y/l/n,” JJ boasts and turns his head to kiss you, twisting his tongue with yours and then pulling you closer. His hand is harshly gripping your thigh, pulling your leg over his own; while your own hands are entangled in his hair. There's a sense of security in the way he kisses you, like you know he won't leave even if you'd tell him to.  “JJ-” you try to pull away, but his lips keep on chasing yours, even when you try to get his attention by biting him. So, you pull on his hair, holding his head in place and making him whine with it.  “S’unfair,” he murmurs.  “I have to go home, it's late,” you remind him.  “You could stay, I could show you how much better I am at morning sex,” JJ tries to convince you, but you know it's impossible.  You let go of his head and twirl a strand of his hair in between your fingers. “It's a charming proposal, but you know I can't. He'll come looking for me, and we don't want that to happen, do we?”  “I’ll let you go if you answer me one question.”  You roll your eyes at his antics, but agree to it anyway. “Deal, dumbass,” you smile. “Why’d you text me?” JJ whispers, and you sigh, turning around to look at the ceiling.  “I don't know,” you lie.  “I think you do, you're just lying to yourself if you say anything else. Because I wouldn't have told you to come by if I didn't feel the same,” he admits and nuzzles his face into your neck.  “It's a polar opposite. And I never thought- It's difficult to know you want a specific thing when you never had it, and once it’s there, it's hard to forget about it. And he won't give me that, I know it,” you explain quietly and JJ kisses your neck in response.  “I would never even consider not letting you cum, baby,” he hushes against your skin, and it gives you goosebumps all over. It's cozy and loving in a way, and it might just scare the life out of you when you realize that you crave this affection he's giving you.  “I have to go,” you press out and jump up, leaving JJ groaning as he runs his hands over his face. You find your clothes pretty quickly and put them back on, while he stays in bed, lying there looking like a Greek god.  “You look severely fuck out. I like it,” he grins, his head propped up on his hand. “Walk of shame material?”  “Nah, nothing to be ashamed of.”  “You know that's not what I meant,” you sigh and leave the room to go look for the bathroom.  “Left,” JJ calls out, and you turn left, towards the end of the hallway and enter the small bathroom. You don't understand how they can live in such a narrow space, but you know mentioning it will not end well. 
Your curls are standing up in every possible direction and your eyes look extremely tired.  “See, not bad at all,” JJ smirks, leaning in the doorway of the bathroom.  “Do you have a hair tie or something?” you ask, and he steps behind you and pulls a drawer open. You pick out a simple black hair tie that could easily pass as one of your own, and wind your hair into a loose knot.  “Tell me again why I should let you go back to that asshole?” JJ asks, laying his chin on your shoulder.  “One, because he's not an asshole, and two, because he's gonna kill you. I don't want to see you dead, you're really good at what you do,” you say while looking at him through the mirror, and the smile on his face gets deeper as you speak.  “The secret side piece,” JJ flashes his brows at you, and you can't stop the light chuckle that leaves you. Charming and sweet and all you should ever want and need- “I really have to go now,” you remind yourself, and he lets go of you. 
When you walk out onto the porch, your eyes meet Sarah's and your heart stops, but you can't let yourself get caught up in it. You know, she hasn't spoken to Rafe in a whole year. She surely won't break that silence just to tell on you.  Your feet quickly move you towards your car, but before you can open your door, you are harshly turned around and pushed against the metal.  JJ kisses you so hard, you wish you could go back inside and do it all over again. His hand is holding onto your neck while the other is gripping your waist. It feels like the best kiss in your entire life, and it awakes something inside of you that you had long thought dead. The tiny flutter in your stomach is as faint as a gust of wind in spring, but you know it's there, and you know it'll just complicate everything else with it. When he pulls away, he does it slowly, leaving an abundance of small, soft kisses on your lips before running his thumb over them.  “She won't tell. None of them will, I promise,” he whispers and you nod, believing him.  “You should go. Didn't know kissing alone could turn a guy on like that.” You smirk innocently as your hand traces over his erection, and he can't even hide it because he hadn't thought about putting on anything more than underwear.  “That's all you,” JJ whispers and kisses you one last time. “Text me,” he says before stepping back and letting you get into your car.  As you drive off, you can see him flipping off his friends before going inside; and then the house, and all of them with it, vanish as you make your way back home. 
“Where were you?” Rafe bludgeons as soon as you get through the door.  “Out. You don't need to know everything, you know?” you snap at him.  “You didn't text and were gone for hours, y/n.”  “Shit, you sound more like my parents then my parents ever did,” you laugh and make your way into the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice and downing it in one go.  “Excuse me for giving a fuck,” Rafe barks, and you roll your eyes.  “If you hadn't been selfish, like fucking always, I wouldn't have walked out.”  “I wanted to make it up to you. You left!” he counters and you gulp hard.  “Tell me what you would've done. Something that puts me first for a change or no?” Your blood is boiling and there is nothing that can stop your fit of rage. It had been easier to look past Rafe's selfish tendencies when you hadn't known any better, but now that you do, you can't help but get annoyed at him for it.  “Where's this coming from now?” he laughs, pacing along the room.  “God, why can't you fucking open your eyes! You know, sometimes I fake it just so it's over quicker,” you spit out, but he knows it's a lie, it's the one thing you promised each other to never lie about.  “You never tell me what you want either,” Rafe says, and you hate that it's true.  “Would you do it if I did?”  “I can try,” he raises his shoulders in what feels like defeat to you, but you can't be sure.  “Good,” you glare, but you know it's unnecessary.  “Now?” he asks, somewhat hopeful, but you shake your head.  “Maybe tomorrow, or whenever. I'm tired right now,” you sigh and make your way upstairs to take a bath. 
The hot water is soaking your body, and you close your eyes and let it play out again. How JJ kept kissing you as he fucked you senseless, how his praises worked way better for you than Rafe's degradations. How he had kept looking up at you with his head buried between your legs.  Your hand travels down between your legs, rubbing soft circles on your clit, and it's not enough. Your fingers plunge into your pussy, curling perfectly, but it's not enough. You can't reach, and it frustrates you.  You step out of the tub, dripping wet as you make your way into the bedroom and Rafe doesn't complain when you straddle him. And he complains even less you start to fuck yourself with his dick. It's not something you’ve ever done with him, but he wants to be better for you, and he doesn't mind as long as he gets to fuck you one way or the other.  “Tell me how much you want me,” you moan softly while bouncing on his huge cock. The light stinging feeling his size always causes you just adds to your pleasure.  “You're so fucking hot, fucking me like the slut you are,” Rafe rasps, holding onto your hips.  “No, something nice. Tell me something nice.” You shake your head but keep going anyway.  “Uhm, okay… You're fucking me so well, baby,” Rafe says, but his eyebrows are furrowed until you moan louder.  “Yes, more.”  “I love your tight pussy, baby,” he groans, and you fall down on top of him, kissing him, but it doesn't feel at all like you had hoped. He tastes like whiskey, but you craved the mix of weed and beer. Yet all of your thoughts about it fly out the window when he stops your hips and starts pounding into you from below.  “Faster,” you gasp into him, biting his lip and digging your nails into his shoulders. It's mind-bending, they way he fucks you and his uncontrollable noises turn you on even more. Rafe grunts and moans like you've not heard it before, and you wish you had made him try it earlier. 
“Fuck, baby, tell me you're close,” Rafe moans, and you press your face against his shoulder, feeling the band inside you tighten.  “So close, babe, don't stop,” you cry out and snake a hand down to your clit rubbing harshly and suddenly JJ's words echo in your mind.  “Cum for me, y/n. Be a good girl and let go.” You scream when your orgasm rips through you and Rafe follows just a second later, pushing in deeper and painting your walls in his pretty white.  “Keep going, just a bit,” you instruct him, and he fucks his cum into you with a few more thrusts until you tell him to stop again.  “That was probably the best sex we ever had,” you sigh, still not ready to get up and have him leave you.  “Definitely top ten,” Rafe pants and runs his hand over your back.  “No, definitely the best,” you argue with a smile and he caves.  “All right, the best.” 
After having cleaned up you're back in bed, and cuddled into his side, your head resting on his chest.  “Why didn't you tell me all that earlier? We could've done this already,” he whispers, and you don't know how to come up with a good lie.  “I don't know. Maybe I hoped you'd figure it out on your own one day.”  “It's very different from what we usually do,” Rafe mumbles, brushing over your hair.  “I like how you fuck me, but sometimes I need something for me. I need control too,” you whisper and he kisses your head.  “We can do that.”  “Good.”  “I love you,” Rafe sighs, and you can hear his breath slow as he falls asleep. 
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Your dreams are haunted by JJ, always, and you wish you could turn it off. Sometimes Rafe gets to him, other times you see yourself living the Pogue life, as if that was ever something you'd even do as much as consider. But tonight it's different from any other time. 
You are at home, Rafe is sitting at the kitchen island, and JJ is lying on the couch. They are both aware of each other and not actively trying to murder one another. The whole scene makes you incredibly suspicious, but it just gets worse when two blonde children come running in.  “Dad!” one of them yells and both JJ and Rafe pick up their heads.  “What's up?” Rafe asks and gets up from his seat, giving you a loving smile before leaning down to the child and talking to it.  “Well, your friends are pretty fucking stupid for not getting it,” Rafe tells the child and JJ snorts.  “Yeah, what's not to get? My wife has another guy, and we play daddy roulette every single time.”  “Daddy roulette?” you ask and furrow your brows at the two.  “You said it's better to not know. Removes the thing for fighting or whatever,” JJ explains.  “This one, definitely mine,” Rafe points at your stomach, and you look down at yourself to see yourself severely pregnant. Your belly is bigger than you'd ever imagined and it feels even worse.  “Why is it so big?” Your heart starts racing, and you feel like you're about to fall over.  “That's because we're having twins. You got a Maybank and a Cameron in there, baby, just like you love it,” JJ grins and your vision goes blurry. 
“Y/n, will you please stop screaming? I was trying to sleep!” Rafe groans after shaking you awake.  “Sorry,” you mumble and turn away from him.  “Bad dream or what?” he asks.  “You don't have to pretend to care,” you whisper, and he snakes his arm around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest.  “I do care, but I also really need to sleep, baby,” he mumbles and kisses your neck a single time.  “We should just sleep,” you mutter and this time you are allowed to get your few hours of dreamless sleep instead of being haunted by your mistakes. 
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Weeks turn into months, and one hookup every other week turns to some every other day.  The more Rafe tries to focus more on you, the more you seem to crave JJ and the lightness of what you have with him.  Like the quick fucks in the Country Club restroom, or the “business meetings” you tell Rafe about. After all, you really don't have a choice, because where Rafe is still reluctant to go down on you, JJ is offering it every single time, even when you are really not capable of cumming another time.  You know it would be technically easy to break up with Rafe, but you can't. You promised your dead father to marry a good man, someone from a good family. And Rafe is exactly what your dad had in mind.  And even if that wasn't the case, you still couldn't, or just don't want to, really.  You like that every girl on the island seems to want what you have, especially with both boys on your leash. You like that people are scared of you, because they know Rafe does what you tell him to, and not because he’s scared, no because he knows it's the best way to live his life. What most people don't know is that although still rich, the Camerons had suffered a dent in their savings, and not a small one. But you, you are secured by a long line of rich assholes. Old money. More than you could ever spend in a lifetime. Which just means that Rafe doesn't have the faintest idea why he should ever leave you. You are his perfect package deal. 
“boat day?” The text from JJ rips you out of your thoughts, and you praise the fact that Rafe has the day packed with meetings.  “sure” you reply quickly and get back to doing your hair.  “I should come pick you up”  “no, you really shouldn't.” You shake your head at his dangerously stupid idea. The boat thing is after all already risky, you don't need to up the chances of anyone finding out. “Will be there in 30.”
“What the fuck is she doing here?” Kiara scoffs as soon as you get out of your car.  “I invited her,” JJ shrugs as if it's nothing special and keeps walking towards the pier.  “You shouldn't get to invite anyone, especially not the Kook bitch who keeps fucking you on the side to get back at her even worse Kook boyfriend,” Kiara complains. “I'm not getting back at anyone,” you smile at her, knowing how much it must enrage her that you keep your cool and calm exterior.  “Just, please be nice, Kie,” JJ yells from afar and you hide your grin.  “John B!” Kiara hollers and walks back into the house, while you keep standing there, leaning against your car. As soon as JJ comes back they all gather on the porch, discussing the matter of your attendance. 
“You know I can hear you, right?” you say loudly after Kiara had called you a slut the third time in a row. “Then why are you still here?” she snaps at you.  You stroll towards the steps that lead up the porch and walk to where they are standing. It's not that you are particularly happy that they are all there too, but you at least have the decency to be nice to them, if not for anything but JJ’s sake.  “I'm interested in what your issue is here,” you ask and Sarah scoffs.  “Maybe that you're a horrible person. Using JJ? Cheating on my brother?”  “Oh, a horse can only be that high,” you smile at her.  JJ tugs on your hand and makes you look at him. “You said you'd be nice.”  “I am nice. I'm not the one calling people slut and whore and what else y'all can come up with for me. But I'm not gonna stand here and hear these insults if they can't even take one back. And for the record that wasn't an insult, it was the truth and y'all know it,” you say and John B runs his hands through his hair, visibly on edge.  “Are you kidding me? You literally insult us all the fucking time,” Kiara spits at you, and you can't help the tiny laugh that escapes you.  “I don't insult Pogues, you guys have it hard enough as is, but… you're not a Pogue, Carrera. I guess that means you're fair game, because that one,” you point at Sarah, “is basically family, as much as I hate to say it, and you don't go against your own.”  “You’re not my family. You'll never be,” Sarah shakes her head.  “Okay,” you roll your eyes at her.  “Can we just-” JJ tries to get control of the conversation, but Kiara stops him.  “No, we can't. If she's here, I'm leaving.”  “Y'all are the worst fucking friends in the world,” you laugh and take a step back, ready to leave. “Incredible.” You turn around and walk back to your car, JJ right behind you. 
“Don't leave, please,” he asks, and you stop in your tracks, turning around on the dirt and looking straight at him.  “I tried, you can't tell me to do more than that. I'm not gonna be called a whore and slut every five fucking minutes. It's appalling how your friends can't even pretend to like me for a few hours, but I'm supposed to do so while also being insulted. I'm not doing that. I'm sorry.” “I'll make it up to you, just don't go,” he begs and you shake your head. “No.” “What do you mean no?”  “I mean, no, because you have nothing to make up to me. They are the ones constantly fucking up. Last time you told them beforehand, and suddenly they all had different plans. They hate me,” you tell him, but he didn't seem to wanna hear it.  “Can we just try and-”  “I did try. Don't force me to do this, J. I can't do this if they can't even manage to not call me names,” you say quietly, and he takes your face in his hands, warm and calloused.  “Will you wait just another few minutes and if I can't fix it, we will go to my place. Sound all right?” His voice is low and raspy, and it's making you wet just a little bit.  “You never invited me to your house before,” you whisper, blushing and pressing your thighs together to try to get rid of the growing desire between them. “It's an equally favorable outcome to the other thing then?”  “More favorable to me,” you smile and lean up to peck his lips. “Use that magical charm of yours,” you whisper and push him back to go talk to his friends. 
Half an hour later you're all sitting on the small boat somewhere in the marsh.  “You want a beer?” JJ asks and hands you a can. “You know how to shotgun, right?”  I can pretend I don't so you can show me,” you smile at him and he laughs.  “That would be cheating.” You grin at him before taking out your keys, plunging a hole in the can and chugging it in a matter of seconds.  “Impressive,” JJ notes before shotgunning his own can and dropping some beer on his sun kissed skin. You don't even think about it when you lean in and kiss the droplets away. Your kisses trail upwards, along his neck until they connect to his mouth, and he kisses you like his life depends on it. His hands come up to hold your face, while yours are in his neck, twirling the hair at the nape of it.  “I should shotgun a few more if this is the new process,” JJ smirks, his forehead leaning against yours.  You blink slowly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and giving him a small nod. “M-hmm,” you hum, and he places another kiss on your lips. 
“Should we, uh, play a game or?” Pope suggests, and you turn to shift your focus away from JJ and towards the people he calls his friends.  “What type of game?” you ask with a genuine interest.  “Truth or dare,” Kiara suggests with a mean smile on her face.  “Who starts?” you ask and give her a polite smile, serving its intended purpose when she rolls her eyes.  “Truth or dare, princess,” JJ asks and turns your head towards him with a simple nudge of his finger.  “Truth,” you whisper.  “Why did you come when I asked?”  “Because I like you,” you gaze into his blue eyes, and he smiles, “for more than the incredible sex also. It's actually pretty fun with you.”  “Definite win on my end,” he whispers.  “Truth or dare… John B,” you say before turning your head to look at him. He gives you a confused look, his eyes jumping between JJ and you.  “Truth,” he shrugs.  “Do you actually hate me or do you just hate me because your girlfriend hates me?” Your smile is sugar sweet, but the glare you give Sarah could definitely make milk curdle.  “I mean, you're a Kook and I don't understand what this is,” he gestures at JJ and you. “But I guess, I don't know you enough to hate you or like you.”  His answer genuinely surprises you because you didn't think he'd be honest and not just say the thing Sarah wanted to hear. 
The game goes back and forth with a few dares and a few harmless truths in between, until it's Sarah's turn, and she glares at you as if she wants to actually kill you.  “Truth or Dare, y/l/n?”  “Dare,” you reply quickly, and her mean smile grows wider.  “Call Rafe and tell him where you are,” she demands. “It's 2:30pm, he's in a meeting. I'm not gonna call him during a meeting just because of a stupid game,” you scoff and laugh at her stupid dare.  “How do you know he's in a meeting right this second?” she hits back at you, and you can't help but laugh even more, but you catch yourself and answer a bit more seriously. “I have his schedule memorized. That's what you do when you're a good girlfriend.”  “A good girlfriend wouldn't cheat!” she screams at you. “You think he doesn't? That's a pretty narrow-minded way to look at it, sis.” You know the new nickname has her boiling, and the little sadistic part of your brain loves to see it. “And you don't get to talk about cheating, everyone is aware of your timeline errors.”  “I never loved Topper,” she defends herself, as if it makes her morally superior to you. “And I don't love Rafe, but you at least had a fucking choice because your shitty life was never bound to you marrying whoever your parents pick so you ‘get to’ inherent what would rightfully be yours anyway. So don't fucking tell me what to do with my life, because everyone else has always done it too, and they had more legitimacy for it,” you yell at her, unintentionally spilling more of your secrets than you had initially wanted to, and they all go quiet. The only thing you can hear after you're done is a few frogs, the birds close by, the waves crashing against the boat and your heart pounding in your chest.
JJ pulls you in closer and hugs you while placing soft, calming kisses on your neck.  “I wanna go home,” you whisper to him, tired of having had to pretend, even if it had just been for an hour.  “Let me talk to them. I promise it's gonna get better,” he says and gets up.  There's no doubt in your mind that it won't. Yet you don't understand why you keep giving him, and with it, them, one chance after the other, when you wouldn't usually give anyone even a second chance. You look out onto the water, your legs propped up, arms around them and your head lying on your knees. You think back to the last night you had with your dad, before he had died in a horrible car crash. T-boned by a drunk driver who hadn't seen a red light. You think about how you had tried to convince him to change his mind, that you could run the company without a man by your side, that you were good enough. But all your pleas had fallen on deaf ears. And your mom isn't any better. She decided to stay away, vacating in Palm Beach and only coming home every other month to make sure you are still alive. She deals with grief like that. By sunbathing and drinking and pretending like everything is fine and perfect and not at all in shambles.  Instead, you decided to close off your heart, and that worked for nearly two years until JJ decided to charm his way into it. You don't like it, the thought of feeling all this pain again. Or worse, to know once you let yourself love, the pain will be inevitable. People leave one way or the other, that's how life has always been and how it always will be. 
“Hey,” John B rips you out of your head, and you don't even turn to look at him as he sits down next to you.  “What do you want?” you say in the meanest way you can conjure, but it still sounds pathetic.  “I'm sorry about your dad, I know he died a few years back. I, uhm, I just wanted to say I understand how hard it can be to live up to their expectations, especially after they-”  “I don't need your pity, Routledge,” you snap and look at him. “You don't know anything about me. You don't have to pretend to care.”  “I was just trying to help,” he apologizes and gets up again. 
Your mind wanders back to the night, to the pain. It's scarily easy to revisit that memory. Seeing yourself standing over the table in the morgue, having to identify that, “yes, that's my dad,” because your mother had broken down as soon as the message had come through. You were keeping yourself together for her, for everyone around you who came with their condolences and expected a consolation prize for caring the bare minimum. You remember taking the ring from his cold, stiff finger. You remember having to pick out the casket, the suit, the food, where and when and how and-  You feel like your lungs are empty, like you had stopped breathing air, but pain and desperation instead. Tears are building in your eyes. You can't blink, can't let them run, can't let anyone see you cry, especially not these people. The only one who has gotten to see you cry ever, apart from your parents, is Rafe. And maybe you are aware that you can't leave him because he knows the part of you that you try so hard to keep hidden. Because he was the only one caring for you when everyone else was solely relying on you.  And now you are hurting him, in a way you never thought you would, but you can't help it, you're too far in it now. You need to tell him, needed two months ago, but you hadn't, because you were scared of breaking his heart. Because you know telling him might mean losing the one good and secure thing you had going for yourself. Maybe you never considered it love, because it doesn't look like the love from the movies and books you basically inhaled in your early teens. Maybe you do have a childish outlook on love after all, because whatever connects you and Rafe goes deeper than that. 
“You okay?” JJ asks, standing over you, and you muster a faint smile for him.  “I just really wanna go home now, I'm sorry,” you apologize for it, although you know you're not the only one at fault for it. You're soft for him, because he needs it, because you need it in a way. But it's so different from Rafe and you don't know if you can survive without either of them. If you could, you'd put them in a blender and get the perfect boyfriend out of it. But life isn't a fairy tale. “It's okay,” he smiles and kisses your forehead before turning to the steering wheel and starting the engine. 
As soon as you're back at the Château you get off the boat and basically run towards your car. If not for JJ, you wouldn't even think twice about ever coming back. But this was his second home, his happy place.  “Hey, y/n, wait a sec,” JJ calls after you and you stop to turn around.  “I don't care if they like me, J, but I'm not gonna be able to do this again. Not like this. I really want to, for you, but if they can't bring up the same amount of- They need to try too, all of them, and not when I accidentally tell them my whole life story so they can pity me. I'm not gonna do it that way,” you say softly and he nods.  “I understand. Will you text me that you got home safe? Please,” he whispers and you nod. There's a moment of silence, insecure and heavy, as if he doesn't know what to do, so you do the only thing you can think of to stop the awkward moment from prolonging. In a quick motion you lean up and kiss his cheek. 
As soon as you come home you text him a quick “am home” and turn back to wallowing in your sadness.  It takes Rafe another two hours to get back home and as soon as he walks in, you jump into his arms, trying to find the little security you knew you could always hold onto.  “Hey, baby, what's up? Huh? Missed me that much?” Rafe asks with a light chuckle while holding you up, with one arm around your waist and the other holding onto his bag.  “Missed you,” you mumble into him, not wanting to actually tell him why you are feeling down, but you know you need to. Soon. Very soon.
He puts down his bag and carries you into the kitchen, sitting you down on the island and taking your puffy face in his hands.  “What happened?” he asks softly, softer than you know him.  “I don't want you to be angry with me,” you whisper, and he prods the inside of his cheek with his tongue before nodding.  “I won't be, I promise.”  “I, uh…,” the words get stuck in your throat, and you feel the tears well up again.  “Whatever it is, you know I love you,” he says, and it makes your heart feel even heavier.  “I've been seeing someone else,” you whisper, and he takes a step back, laughing and running his hands through his hair. There is no mistake in how mad he is, because this was a new level of mad, one you haven't seen before.  “Who?” he barks and you flinch. “Who is it, y/n?”  “No, you'll hurt him. I won't let you hurt him,” you shake your head, and he steps closer again.  “Why should I give a fuck about how you feel right now? Huh?! For how long have you been cheating on me?” he screams into your face. “Rafe, please,” you beg softly, and he takes a step away again, and a second later his fist lands in a cabinet door.  “How long, y/n?” he yells.  “Four months,” you whisper and he laughs.  “You gotta be kidding me.”  “I didn't know- It's confusing and then today-” you stammer, and he interrupts you.  “You were with him today? That's why you're crying? And you expect me to not go and kill that guy instantly?”  “I love you,” you yell at him, and he stops, furrowing his brows and looking at you more confused than you have ever seen him. 
“What?”  “I think so, at least. It's very confusing,” you mumble, looking down at your hands.  “Is that supposed to be an apology? You tell me you've been fucking some asshole on the side and think it'll all be made okay by finally telling me that you love me after two years?” His anger is back, but he's still confused, and you don't know what to do about it. All you know is that you need to be truthful about it, as much as you can, as much as he lets you. “I know it doesn't make sense and I know it's not an apology. I don't mean it like that. But today, things were said by other people, not him, he was trying to help- I don't know what I feel,” you shake your head.  “None of that makes any sense, baby,” Rafe runs his hand over his face.  “I didn't think that what I felt for you was love because no one ever told me it could be like that. But I do. I love you and I made a horrible mistake, but I would have never known- I can't survive on just one. I need both of you to be happy,” you say, and he steps closer, harshly taking your face in his hand.  “Who!”  “JJ,” you whisper and his hand slips down to your throat, holding you tight enough to restrict your blood flow, making you dizzy.  “You let a dirty Pogue fuck you? And then you come back here and pretend like nothing happened?”  “I love you,” you are practically begging him to not hurt JJ, your own well-being has become secondary the moment you decided to tell Rafe about it all.  “Is that why you wanted to do all that new shit?” he laughs almost hysterically, squeezing a little tighter and your vision starts getting blurry.  “Please,” you choke out, and he lets go again.  “You know what the worst part is? That this started making more sense in the last few months, and now you're tellin’ me it's because you’re fucking Maybank on the side. That's fucked up, y/n,” Rafe shakes his head.  “I never got mad at you for cheating on me,” you remind him quietly, it's a low blow, but you know it's gonna do the trick. His escapades early on in your relationship, and even a few slip ups in the first year after your dad hadn't bothered you much anyway back then.  “No, but you never got mad at me for anything because you don't have a fucking heart. You were acting like a fucking robot until-,” he doesn't even finish the sentence, only shaking his head yet again.  “I don't understand why, Rafe. You have to believe me. And I tried not to. I did. For months before. And then it happened once, and I tried to stay away but then you- you hurt my feelings and I had no one else-” you stammer, and he glares at you.  “The best sex we ever had? Because you had just fucked him?”  “I know you. You're not happy with all I need. And everything you can give me- It's not enough, and I hate myself for it. I wish it was but it isn't. And I can't keep on trying to change you. I won't do that to you. It's not fair to either of us,” you whisper.  “You think you can have us both? Maybe we should call your little boy toy and ask him what he thinks, because apparently you value his fucking Pogue opinion more than me!” Rafe snaps and rips the phone from your back pocket.  “Rafe, please don't,” you cry, and he smirks, but it's neither playful nor sweet, it's simply vicious.  “Oh, I have a way worse idea, baby, and you won't say no because you love me, right?” he taunts, and you nod slowly, knowing whatever’s to happen next won't be the last punishment you receive for your crimes. 
Rafe throws you over his shoulder and carries you upstairs and into the bedroom. Throwing you on the bed as if you weigh nothing.  You know not to move when he's in a mood, he'll do it by himself or give you strict orders to follow. Doing anything on your own account will just make it worse for you.  “Take off that horrible dress,” he barks while walking into the closet to pick out a tie and get his special box for you. You do as you are told, and he comes over to you, pulling on your arms and tying your wrists together behind your back so you can't use your hands anymore.  Then he pulls on the strings of the tiny bikini you had on, having expected to go swimming before you had left for JJ’s. The flimsy piece comes undone and Rafe slaps your ass a single time, but it stings harsh enough for you to whine a little.  “The more you cry, the worse it'll get,” he threatens, and you try to swallow the pain as he sits and pulls you to lie over his lap, spanking you for half an eternity. And even when he's done and goes over to softly massaging your butt, it's still stinging, and you don't know how much more you can take if this was the start of it. 
“You think that was enough? Or do you deserve some more?” Rafe asks and you gulp before replying quietly.  “I was a very bad girl,” you say, just like he always wanted to hear. It had only happened two times before that he had decided to play these games in such an extreme way. The first time you had drunkenly flirted with some Touron and Rafe had decided it was the best way to teach you a lesson. That was a month into your relationship. The second time was a week before your dad had died, and he keeps telling you that he regrets doing it, but you know he doesn't. You had made fun of his family that night, just a little bit, but it had been enough to grant a punishment.  But neither of those come close to the pain you imagine he must be feeling right now. And you rather let him take his anger out on you than go and hurt JJ. That was the better option, surely.  “Yes, you were, baby. That's why you're gonna do whatever I say now. You know the rules. And if you cum I'll hurt you some more,” Rafe pulls you back up and you nod.  “Won't cum.”  “Good. Now lay down and let me fuck your throat,” he says, and you hesitate for a second but do it anyway. He's aware that you don't like it, not because it's not fun, but because he's simply too big for you to be able to breathe properly while doing it on his terms.  
Yet here you are, lying on the bed with your head hanging off the edge. But before he tells you to open up, he goes to his box, taking out a tiny device and smirking mischievously.  “You know what, we're doing it differently tonight,” Rafe pulls you up to sit. Then he goes to bend you over and for a moment you think he's just gonna fuck you, but instead he shoves the toy into you, filling both holes without any prep, and you cry out at the unexpected intrusion and the low vibrations of the toy.  “No. You're not gonna cum from that, and if there's anything on that when I pull it out, I'll make it hurt worse. Do you understand?” He warns and you nod.  “I understand.”  “Good. Kneel,” he orders and points at the rug in front of the bed and you follow diligently. 
When he tells you to open up, you do it, and when he tells you to moan around him, you do it, and when he tells you to look into the camera, you do it, albeit reluctantly.  Rafe doesn't care that you're close to choking on his cock, or that you can't stop the tears from streaming down your cheek. He doesn't care that your jaw will hurt for the two following days. He doesn't care because he knows it's still not enough punishment, and you know he's right.  Once he's happy with his little video, he tells you to get up and lie down again, and once you do, he pulls you towards the edge of the bed again and goes back to fucking your throat. What you can't see, because his balls are in your face, is that he's gone back to filming you, especially the part where his dick goes so far down your throat that it's visible on your neck.  Somehow you managed to blend out the vibrations in your pussy and ass, the low intensity was barely doing anything to you but edge you on more and more. 
“You're a real slut, aren't you, baby,” he huffs after pulling out and manhandling you to be face down before him. Your legs are propped up and spread wide as he harshly pulls the toy out, and you can't help the gasp that escapes your throat.  “Tell me you love me again, and I might stop,” he rasps, and you are about to say it, but just as you open your mouth to speak, he thrusts into you. An obscenely loud moan is all you can conjure before he starts ramming into you.  “Tell me how much you love me!”  “Love you, Rafe. Love you and your cock so much,” you cry out and a second later your phone lands on the bed right next to your head.  “Look who called to check up on you, baby. Tell him how much you love when I take what's mine!” Rafe demands and your eyes fill with tears as you see the screen.  “What the fuck is this?” JJ asks and you sob.  “Rafe, no,” you cry.  “You want him so bad, he has to know what it means to share you. Because I'm not letting you go, baby,” Rafe growls, fucking you harder and your tears keep on streaming.  “Princess, it's okay. Focus,” JJ tells you through the phone, and you don't understand why he didn't hang up immediately.  “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Rafe, please,” you beg, but he won't stop, not until he's got what he wants.  “Tell him how much you love me,” Rafe barks, pulling on your hair and yanking you towards him. “You don't get to make any demands tonight, baby. You know what you did to me!”  He pushes you back down, and you land face first in the duvet, sobbing uncontrollably. “I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry,” you are close to hyperventilating. Your body is sore and tired, but he won't stop the attack on your poor pussy.  “You hear that Maybank, she loves me!” Rafe says, jealousy drenching his voice, and picks up the phone. “But I still don't think she deserves to cum. Do you?”  “You're sick, Rafe,” JJ hisses through the phone, but your mind is starting to go blank, the noise of his skin slapping against your own, and the quenching sound of your pussy is filling your ears.  “No, she's sick. One dick isn't enough for the little bitch. Nah, she needs two fillings to feel better about herself,” Rafe laughs, and you're so far gone that you can barely hear him anymore.  “Princess, focus on me. Come on, pretty girl,” JJ pleads and you nod absentmindedly.  “Shit, stop,” Rafe moans, but you can't. JJ's soft, loving words of encouragement have triggered your release, and you really don't have any control over it.  You moan so loud you think the whole island might hear, but you don't care, actually. And when you push your ass back into Rafe he loses his game and cums so hard that he collapses onto you almost instantly. 
Panting you lie there, incapable of saying a single word, but at least JJ had disconnected the call.  “I get it now,” Rafe pants and pulls you into him, hugging you and kissing the top of your head. “Maybe I can learn to live with it.”  “Love you,” is all you manage to say before your exhaustion takes over, and you fall into a deep dreamless slumber. 
You don't even feel like getting up the next morning, but you do it anyway. Pulling on one of Rafe's shirts to feel a tiny bit of familiar comfort you prod downstairs after having cleaned up the tiniest bit.  “Good morning,” Rafe says as soon as you step into the kitchen.  “Morning,” you walk past him, kissing his cheek just like any normal day. But unlike any normal day, Rafe isn't dressed yet, he's only got his shorts on and something tells you he had planned it.  “I don't think you should get to wear my shirts right now. I'm still mad at you, remember?” he nods at you, and you sigh, wanting to turn back and go change, but his hand shoots out to hold you back. “Oh, no, no. You're gonna take it off here. And you're gonna eat without it on.”  “But I don't have anything else on,” you complain quietly and he shrugs.  “Not my problem.”  You pull the shirt over your head and hand it to him. “Anything else?”  “Actually, yeah,” Rafe gives you a lopsided grin before sitting you up on the island. 
It stings when he pushes into you, stretching you to your limit without any prep. But it's a punishment, you shouldn't enjoy it anyway.  His grunts and curses and intensely hard thrusts make you whimper, but at least he doesn't tell you off about it this time. Instead, he encourages you, wanting to see the tears and as soon as they start running his thrusts grow sloppier.  “I brought waffles as a peace offering,” you hear JJ's voice and footsteps that are coming closer. Your head spins around, and you stare at him across the room. The shock on his face tells you that he had just as much been blindsided by this as you, and it takes him another moment to drag his eyes away from the scene. But Rafe just laughs and keeps fucking you.  “Look at him, he can't even look at you while I fuck you. How the fuck is that supposed to work, baby?”  “As if you'd like to see it the other way round,” JJ snaps back at him, his back still turned to you. But the pain is too much, you can't take it anymore.  “J, please,” it's a mere whisper that leaves you, but he walks over to you anyway, avoiding looking at Rafe.  “It's all right, I'm here,” JJ whispers to you while caressing your hair, and you look up at him, into his pretty blue eyes.  “Make her cum,” Rafe demands and JJ rolls his eyes.  “You know, if you were better at it, she would've never fucked me in the first place,” JJ glares at him, but you pull on his collar, kissing him and moaning into his mouth while Rafe keeps fucking you.  “You're doing so great, princess. Such a good girl,” JJ praises you and your stomach starts filling with tiny butterflies.  “More,” you moan and JJ looks up at Rafe. “Touch her,” he orders and for some reason Rafe does what he says and starts rubbing harsh circles on your clit.  “Oh God!” you scream, so close to your release that you feel like bursting. Your back lifts off the cold marble and your lips tremble. “That's it. Look at me baby,” JJ whispers and when your eyes meet his you feel afloat, just like the first time. “Let go,” he hushes, and your eyes roll back. You scream and feel how hard it is for Rafe to keep fucking you, but he tries anyway until he can't hold back anymore and fills you up with his hot seed.  “That was better than last night,” Rafe pants while tucking himself away and JJ comes around to pull you up and carry you upstairs. 
“Is this what you want?” JJ asks quietly after sitting you down on the toilet. Your voice is strained, but you only manage to nod a yes.  “We'll have to put down some ground rules, because I really don't wanna be in a situation where I find out what Rafe looks like when he finishes. That was way too close already,” JJ says while letting in a bath for you.  “I'm sorry,” you rasp, but he shakes his head.  “Don't apologize. If I hadn't told you to come by yesterday, this wouldn't be happening. And you should save your voice,” he smiles. 
The hot water helps with the pain, but leaning back into JJ and being with him without having to think about what might happen if someone finds out is freeing. It's nice and good and feels a thousand times better than before.  “I don't care if they get it or not. I know you can't help it,” he whispers to you, softly massaging your sore thighs under the water. “Stupid hearts,” he sighs.  “You okay?” Rafe asks, standing in the door, and you turn to look at him and nod. “Good. I have to go to work,” he says and takes a few steps over to kiss you softly. “Love you,” he whispers and turns around to leave without waiting for you to say it back. 
The following days are filled with planning and talking and fighting over phrasings, but in the end they manage to come to a conclusion that they can both live with. The easiest one at that. You get to choose, anything and everything when it comes to what happens between the three of you, in this weird new relationship you found yourself in. 
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Most nights you find yourself sleeping in JJ's bed instead of your own, but Rafe doesn't mind it much, never having been much of a cuddler himself. But when it gets to your darkest moments, you don't trust yourself enough to talk to JJ, maybe it's stupid, but somehow you can't change it.  Yet you also don't think you'll ever regret your decision, especially when you're waking up to JJ plastering you with kisses before slowly fucking you awake. Or when he goes to eat you out while a boring movie is playing.  Or when Rafe comes home frustrated from a meeting and uses you in any way you let him, and sometimes he even lets JJ join and not just sit there and please you mentally. 
Your new favorite thing has to be sucking off JJ while Rafe is plowing into you.  With every deep thrust of Rafe's hard cock into your clenching core, you moan louder around JJ, and it's even harder for him to not cum as soon as he sees your puffy lips wrapped around his dick. And you love to swirl your tongue and play with his balls a little, slapping your lips and cheeks with his pretty cock until he begs for you to suck him dry. 
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The days in between when you get time to recover properly are filled with surf lessons from JJ or going shopping with Rafe.  It's passed the point where only the three of you and the people close to you know about the arrangement. Especially parties start to be a boiling pot for dramatics. 
You're at the Boneyard, playing stupid drinking games with JJ, having fun the way teenagers are supposed to be.  You're aware that the people around you talk, but you couldn't care less because you're on cloud nine, too happy to let anybody ruin it. But JJ is the complete opposite. The more people he hears, the more agitated he gets.  “What’ya say?” he snaps at some guy, pushing him back.  “Chill bro,” the boy tries to laugh it off.  “No, repeat what you said, asshole,” JJ pushes.  “Only the biggest of sluts need-” He doesn't get to finish the repetition of his words when JJ's fist lands in his face. You yell for him to stop, but it's like he's in a trance. It takes both John B and Pope, who storm over from the other side of the party, to pull JJ off the guy.  “What the fuck, bro,” John B shoves JJ backwards but J just laughs.  “He deserved it.”  “Why ‘cause he said something mean?” Pope snaps, and you cross your arms in front of your chest.  “You wouldn't get it, Pope,” JJ shakes his head and looks up at the night sky. “Y'all just don't get it.”  “We don't, because it doesn't make sense,” Pope counters and you scoff.  “Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean it's shit or that we're horrible people for it.”  “I didn't say that,” he shakes his head, but you're done with them, you have been for a long time.  “C’mon, J,” you say and start walking towards where you had parked your car. 
At home, you start by cleaning him up, kissing him all over in the shower until he pins you against the tiles. His kisses are forceful, and he's groping at your ass and thighs. Picking you up and fucking up into you while you moan and gasp. He doesn't give you time to cum when he finishes and puts you down on your feet.  This is different from what you know of him, but it intrigues you too. JJ turns you around and snakes his arm around your thigh, pushing two fingers into your sore cunt to stop you from spilling out.  “I know I should've asked, but it's gonna be great. I promise,” he whispers into your ear before leading you into the bedroom and making you lie down.
JJ is standing in front of you, your legs pressed to your chest, and he’s holding onto your hips as he fucks you. It's not loving and soft like any time before. It's harsh and fast, and you like it too much. You like the sound of his claves crashing into your ass, the way his balls slap against your skin. The wet noises your pussy makes when he drags his cock out of you just to slam right back in. And the way your tits jiggle with the movement. Your hands are clawing at the sheets when JJ starts playing with your clit, making you cum in a matter of seconds. You know you'll be there for hours when he shoots his cum into you and just keeps going. You haven't quite figured out which way you like it better; with JJ’s incredibly small refractory period, or Rafe's stamina to hold out for just how long he wants to. 
“Who's gonna clean that up?” you hear Rafe ask and your head spins around to look at him. Your mind is blurry with pleasure, your mouth agape and JJ doesn't stop and rips another orgasm from you. Rafe has never actually watched him fuck you, but something about this is making him want to stay and watch.  Your back arches up again, and JJ grunts and curses, filling you up for the fifth time that night, and you watch Rafe's face contort in a light confusion.  “You just keep going? Maybe you should give her some time, dude,” Rafe says, and you shake your head at him.  “She'll have time once I'm done,” JJ growls, and it sends shivers down your spine, making you roll your eyes back. “Isn't that right, baby?”  “Yes, yes, yes-” you scream each time his cock pushes against your cervix as if he wants to pass through it. “Want your cum, JJ, all of it,” you babble, maybe you like giving Rafe a show too.  “Good girl,” JJ moans and cums another time, making you clench around him with ease. 
“You see that,” JJ smirks down at you, and you prop yourself up on your elbows to see the tip of his dick poking against your stomach. “That's it, princess,” he praises you before pushing down on your stomach, and you fall back, moaning, incapable of holding yourself up with the intense pleasure he's giving you.  “Give me my phone,” JJ orders and for a moment you have forgotten that Rafe is still there, still watching. He hands JJ his phone and J points the lense right at where you two are connected.  His free hand is back to rubbing torturously harsh circles on your clit, making you mewl and cry out.  “Cum for me, princess. Make me proud, baby,” JJ hums, and you let go of the tension. Screaming his name and squeezing his cock so hard that he cums almost instantly, pushing in farther and holding himself there until he's all done.  And once he's pulled out, he goes down on his knees before you, pointing the camera right at your pussy, clenching around nothing and pushing all his cum out of you and letting it drip down onto the rug. 
“What she do?” Rafe asks just as JJ comes back from the bathroom, a wet washcloth in his hand.  “Nothing,” JJ mutters while cleaning you up, but you can't move, not yet. Your legs feel like they are made of rubber and your mind is empty, only having enough capacity to listen to their words.  “Why'd you do this then?” Rafe points at your utterly fucked out state.  “Do I ask you why you do what you do? No. Just let it go,” JJ snaps at him and leaves for his room.  “You could at least change the fucking sheets!” Rafe yells after him, but it's no use. 
“Y/n, are you okay?” Rafe whispers and picks you up, holding you in his arms while you regain your strength.  “Frustrated,” you mumble and look at him with your glossy eyes.  “Maybank? Why?”  “Fight- Asshole-” you stammer, and he carries you out of the room and towards JJ’s.  “What did you do?” Rafe barks at JJ, your body still tightly wrapped around him.  “None of your fucking business,” JJ hisses.  “It fucking is when it ends with her losing all bodily capabilities, you ass,” Rafe yells, and you try to cover your ears, but it doesn't really help.  “He called her a whore, and he had to pay for it. I don't care what they say, but they don't get to insult her,” JJ explains harshly, and you start to slowly feel your toes again.  “Doesn't explain why you nearly fucked her into subdrop,” Rafe shakes his head and caresses your back. “You can't just do shit like that, and you know it.”  “She said she was okay with it.”  “She's a fucking people pleaser, asshole,” Rafe snaps, and you lift your head from his shoulder.  “Please stop,” you whisper, and he wipes a tear from your cheek.  “It's okay, baby,” Rafe whispers to you before turning back to JJ. “Don't let your fucking anger out on her without making sure she's alright.” “Noted,” JJ says, and you can practically hear him roll his eyes.  “Good, because you gotta aftercare the shit out of her now. I'm not cleaning up your messes, Maybank,” Rafe tells him and basically hands you to him as if you were nothing more than a puppet. 
“I'm sorry, love,” JJ whispers, placing you in the hot water and running his hand through his hair.  “S’okay,” you mumble and look up at him with a droopy smile.  “I'm gonna clean up, and then I'll be right with you, all right?” He kisses you gently and leaves again.  You think back to it, the moment he snapped. He looked like a different person, more like his dad in a way, and although you never even saw Luke Maybank up close, you know it’s true. You know the rumors are true. He didn't tell you, but in your heart you know it.  If his friends hadn't come, he wouldn't have stopped. If they hadn't showed up, the other guy would be dead. If it hadn't been for you, none of it would've happened.  It’s a rather quick spiral that you go down, and you can't stop yourself from crying, not even when JJ comes back and looks at you rather confused.  “Hey. Hey, pretty girl, don't cry. It's okay. You're okay. I'm here,” he tells you and pulls your head to his chest. But it doesn't help. You can't stop feeling like it was all your fault, all the pain in your life is your fault.  “Rafe!” JJ shouts, and it only takes a minute for him to run in.  “What you do now?”  “Nothing, I came back, and she's crying, and she won't stop,” JJ defends himself.  “Go. You seriously have no clue,” Rafe shakes his head and takes JJ's spot next to you. 
“What's wrong, baby,” Rafe whispers to you, holding your face in his big hands.  “It's my fault. I killed him. It's my fault,” you sob and he shakes his head.  “No, it's not. You know it's not,” Rafe assures you, but you're too far gone for it to work. “I did it. I killed him,” you cry and he clenches his jaw.  “Y/n, you didn't drive that car, it's not your fault. Please, listen to me,” Rafe pleads, but you shake your head, not wanting to believe him.  “Hey, hey, look at me,” he orders, and you turn your eyes back on him. “Three things you feel, name them.” “Pain. Tired. Sad,” you answer slowly.  “Four things you can touch.”  “Water, you, me, bathtub,” you reply a little faster and he nods.  “Five things you see,” Rafe whispers, and you look around in front of you. “Towel, shower, robe, painting-” your eyes get stuck on the blonde boy that is standing in the doorway of the bathroom, “JJ.”  Rafe snaps around to look at him. “I told you to leave!”  “What's wrong with her?” JJ asks quietly, and your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach.  “Leave!” Rafe yells, and it takes a moment for JJ to realize that it will have consequences if he doesn't. But Rafe had already turned back around to you, stroking your hair. “We should get you to bed, baby.”  He dries you up and puts you in a shirt of his to sleep in, before laying you down in your bed and turning off the lights. 
When you wake up, you're alone, and you decide to not get ready and just go downstairs the way you are. Before you can meet the boys in the kitchen you overhear them talking and stop in your tracks.  “That doesn't make sense,” JJ says.  “No shit. But that's just how it's been ever since. Your stupid fight triggered something, and the day is coming up in a week- It's a fucking minefield this time of year,” Rafe sighs.  “So we distract her?” JJ asks and Rafe scoffs.  “That's just delaying it. No, you just gotta stay with her and make sure she won't spiral. And when she does you have to keep telling her that it's not her fault, and pull her out of it. The naming thing always works,” Rafe replies.  “And what if it doesn't?”  “I don't know.” 
You turn the corner and pretend like you had just come down the stairs, walking straight to the coffee machine.  “How did you sleep?” Rafe asks with a smile.  “Alone,” you say and take your mug, nearly burning your tongue as you take a sip.  “I'm sorry, y/n, for yesterday and all,” JJ apologizes, but you just shrug.  “Shit happens.” Pretending to not care was easy, too easy.  “I’m gonna be at the office all day. You think you're gonna be all right?” Rafe asks and you nod.  “I don't know why we shouldn't be.” 
You spend your day training, not having done so in too long for your own liking. The water calms your mind and gives you enough time to reflect on your life choices.  You know Rafe is right. You know that it's not your fault. But the guilt you feel around it doesn't just vanish because of it. 
Later that day Rafe texts you that you're having dinner at the country club with his dad, meaning JJ isn't allowed to come.  “I'll just enjoy the view right now,” JJ smiles and watches you get dressed. The underwear set is new, and you can tell by the way he's looking at you that he wants nothing more than to take it off again.  “If it was my call,” you start, but he interjects.  “I know, but it isn't. Besides, I don't really give a shit about family dinners and all that fancy bullshit.”  “Sarah will be there, and John B,” you remind him, but he shrugs.  “So what?” “Have you talked to them at all in the last few weeks?” you ask and JJ rubs over the light stubble on his chin.  “They didn't reach out either.”  “They are your family though. That's what you told me,” you whisper. “I have a new family now. I have you,” JJ smiles and takes your dress from the clothing hanger.  “That's not enough, and you know it,” you say while stepping into the dress and letting him zip it up.  “It's enough for you,” he says, and you sigh, looking at him through the mirror in your closet. “But I'm a heartless bitch with more money than anyone else on this island. I don't need anything more, and if I did, I could just buy it.” Your fingers fumble with the necklace until JJ takes it from you and places it around your neck.  “I know there's a heart in there,” JJ says while holding you from behind, his right hand resting on top of your chest.  “Horrible. We should go get a knife and cut it out,” you whisper with a smile and he kisses your shoulder.  “You'd kill me if I said what I was thinking right now,” he mumbles against your skin and your heart stops for a moment, scared that he would say the dreaded words that you knew would definitely complicate your life even more. “Then you really shouldn't say it.”  “I should, but I won't,” he looks back up, leaning his head against yours, smiling. 
The dinner goes rather smoothly, although Sarah still gives you a side eye and once the Camerons are gone, John B asks how JJ is, but nothing more.  “Boring as ever,” you complain on the drive home.  “Glad he didn't ask when we're getting married,” Rafe exhales a laugh.  “Hmmm, let me think,” you tap your finger against your chin in a joking manner. “We can fuck them all over and just fly to Vegas right now.”  “Wouldn't be the worst idea we ever had,” he laughs and takes your hand up to kiss it just as he turns into your driveway.  “My mom expects a huge white wedding. At least a hundred guests,” you sigh while getting out of the car.  “We should start planning then,” Rafe grins at you, pulling you into his side and kissing the top of your head.
“What happens to that one, once we get married?” Rafe asks you, pointing at JJ who is standing in the kitchen with nothing more than his boxers on.  “They should make this harem thing legal,” JJ says and shugs the rest of his drink.  “A harem is one guy with many women, dumbass,” you laugh.  “The opposite of that then,” JJ shrugs.  “Sure,” Rafe rolls his eyes at him and JJ flips him off.  “Sometimes I think you guys forget who's the boss around here,” you say and zip your dress open, letting it fall to the ground and walking upstairs. “First one up gets to start,” you call out and hear them arguing already. 
“Just because you're first, doesn't mean you know what you're doing,” JJ complains.  “Fine, you start then, genius,” Rafe scoffs, and you furrow your brows, it was unusual for Rafe to give in and let JJ do anything to you unless you specifically asked for it.  “What's the plan here, boys?” you ask with an anticipating smile on your lips.  JJ pulls you into his arms, kissing you deeply and pushing you against the bed. The backs of your knees hit the wood and you fall down.  “Just relax, gorgeous,” he muses and drops down on his knees before you, taking off your heels and letting his hands run up to your thighs. You sigh into it, the feeling of his fingers digging into your skin and the kisses he leaves on the inside of your thighs before unclasping the lace body right on top of your pussy.  JJ rolls the fabric up to reveal your stomach, kissing and nipping at your skin; biting your hip and making you jump in surprise. He loves to tease you, and you'd never tell him to stop, ever.  He comes up to kiss you, pushing the lace up even farther and helping you take it off completely. Kissing your neck and leaving marks you hear him chuckle, then his lips meet your ear, and he whispers, “you think he's taking any notes?”  Your eyes dart over to Rafe who has pulled a chair over and is watching you carefully. “Maybe,” you reply.  JJ hums, picking up his head to smile at you. “Hopefully.” 
JJ kisses down your neck, following along your collarbone and to your tits. He sucks on your nipple, grazing over it with his teeth before he pulls on it and your back arches up.  “Would be neglectful to not give you the same attention,” JJ says to your other tit, and you would tell him off if he wasn't squeezing your sensitive nipple right in that second. His hand is playing with your sore tit while his mouth attacks the other. It's overwhelming and perfect, and you don't see any reason to hold back. Your moans and gasps fill the room, and they continue on even once he has let off your boobs and moved downward again. He sucks hickeys into the soft skin of your thighs, making you mewl and squirm.  “Tell me what you want me to do to you, princess,” JJ demands, and you grasp into his hair to push his face into your clothed cunt. He blows a little against your wet slip, and you instinctively want to close your legs, but he holds them in place.  “You should let me take this pretty thing off first,” JJ smirks and you lift your hips. The tiny slip is off faster than you can say your own name. 
“Tastes so fucking sweet, baby,” JJ moans after licking over your wet pussy, his tongue dipping between your folds and torturing your clit a little.  “Hold on, princess,” JJ smirks up at you and your hand finds his hair, tugging on the fine strands as he plunges his tongue into your pussy. His nose presses against your clit, and with every stroke of his tongue, he edges you closer.  “More, JJ, please,” you moan, and he starts to suck on your clit while pushing his fingers into you. Curling them and sucking harsher, almost biting down on your clit, and you can't help but grind your hips against him. When his fingers come up to your face, and you lick them off, you already feel like you're about to explode.  “Cum on my tongue, baby,” JJ hums into you, licking long strides up your pussy before pressing his tongue flat against your entrance and rubbing his nose on your clit.  You keep rolling your hips and moaning his name as you come undone for him. His new technique isn't as good as the old one, but you're not one to complain about it. JJ gets up and wipes his face on a small towel that Rafe hands him, but you can't stop staring at the wet spot in his boxers.  “Again?” you ask JJ with a smile and he shrugs.  “Can't help it. You taste too good, baby.” 
You hold your hand out for Rafe after sitting up, and he takes and intertwines your fingers. He's still in his suit pants and shirt, looking down at you with a lustrous smile.  “You look really hot in this,” you whisper and nod, but your hands wander to the buttons, slowly opening the shirt until you can push it off his shoulders. His abs look so rideable to you, but you are still unsure if he'd let you once you ask.  “You're way hotter, baby. Next time I get to take off the fancy shit,” Rafe growls, his hand  cupping your tit, brushing his thumb over your tit, but his eyes shift towards JJ. “You understand?”  But JJ just holds his hands up in defense and sits down on the chair.  “Take the pants off, babe,” you pout at Rafe, and he slowly opens his belt, pulling it out and dropping it to the side. It was like he was doing a strip show for you, and you loved every second of it.  Rafe pushes you to lie down, your hands pinned over your head as he kisses you aggressively. His free hand gropes at your tit, and you lift your hips to press your wet cunt against his hard cock.  “Always so needy,” Rafe mocks you before going down on his knees between your legs.  He's aggressive and fast, sucking on your clit with so much pressure building that you are scared he's gonna rip it off. But your screams just turn him on even more. His tongue thrusts into you with a harsh pace, and you try to get away from him, but he's holding you in place.  “Curl it,” JJ says and Rafe listens, curling his tongue up and ripping an orgasm out of you in a matter of seconds. 
“J,” you pant and Rafe wants to get up, but you close your thighs around his head. “No, you stay. J, come here,” you tap the bed right next to your head. They do as you say, and while Rafe is eating you out another time, JJ is fucking your throat and praising you.  Before JJ can cum you pull him from your throat and pump his cock slower, trying to pace him just a bit. But when you look at the two boys, so helpless when it comes to your wants and needs, you can't help yourself.  With a quick move you have J’s dick back in your warm and wet mouth, swirling your tongue and hollowing your cheeks. Your hand is massaging his balls, and he throws his head back and fills your mouth with his salty cum. It feels so good, you cum instantly, creaming all over Rafe's pretty face.  “Definitely doing this again,” you sigh, falling flat into the bed and not planning on getting up anytime soon. 
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The engagement dinner is jarring and the only reason you can get through it is, because Rafe keeps reminding you that it'll be over soon, his hand resting on your thigh the whole night. 
But the engagement party, the weekend after is fun, is actually fun.  You invited everyone you knew, including JJ's friends and Barry, who you hadn't talked to in ages. You spend the first half of the night tightly wrapped in Rafe's arm, smiling and laughing at some things his friends say.  Sitting on the couch on Rafe's lap you let your eyes wander, and they get stuck on JJ who is visibly uncomfortable while nipping on his beer.  “Maybe a blowjob will lighten his mood,” you whisper to Rafe, but he shakes his head.  “No, but honesty might.”  “What do you mean?” you ask and look at your, now, fiancée.  “I mean, he's been miserable and fighting it ever since we brought up that this would be happening. Not like you have much of a choice anyway,” Rafe shrugs lightly and runs his hand over your back.  “How do you know he's miserable?” you wonder, eyeing your boyfriend across the room.  “Because I use my eyes, and to be fair, I'd be pouting too if you wanted to marry him instead of me.”  “And what am I supposed to tell him? He knows I don't have a choice if I wanna keep the company,” you sigh.  “The truth. That you love him,” Rafe whispers and kisses your cheek.  “You can't know that,” you shake your head and he laughs.  “I see the way you two look at each other. I love you so much baby, but you've never looked at me like that.” “That doesn't mean anything,” you fight his words, not wanting him to be right about it.  “I mean, you can try it with the blowjob, but I think the truth would be better,” Rafe smiles and slaps your ass, signaling you to get up. 
You're dragging your feet walking over to JJ. “Look at that, a Pogue in a Kook mansion,” you tease with a smile.  “Hey,” he mumbles without looking at you.  “You okay?” you whisper and he nods, avoiding your eyes.  “Why shouldn't I be?” “Because you've been avoiding me all day.” You reach out your hand to hold onto his and as soon as your delicate fingers close around his, he stares at you. Pain filled blue eyes and a merely unnoticeable tremble on his lip.  “Do I have to be happy about it? You want me to be happy about the fact that you're leaving me?” he hisses at you, but you feel like a weight is lifted off you, a soft smile tugging at your lips.  “Come on, I need to tell you something,” you whisper and lead him upstairs to your bedroom, unlocking the door and stepping inside. 
“Why did you bring me here?” JJ asks, his hand is holding onto the bottle for dear life. “Sit with me,” you say and place yourself at the edge of the bed. He follows reluctantly, yet again avoiding to even look at you.  “JJ, I'm not leaving you,” you whisper and he scoffs. “Sure you aren't.” “I'm serious, J. Just because I have to marry Rafe, doesn't mean anything changes between us.”  “Sure it won't, until you want to have kids, and then it's no longer appropriate,” he mutters, and you don't know how to convince him. Maybe Rafe was right with his assumption about him, about you. But the thought of it is debilitating.  “When I have kids they will have my name, JJ. Do you not want kids?” you ask and he sighs.  “I don't just want any kids, y/n, I want your kids,” he whispers and turns to look at you.  “Why would you think I'll leave you then?”  “Because you are marrying Rafe. Starting a family with Rafe. Just like the plan was. I'm nowhere close to being part of that picture,” he talks himself down, and you really have no more words left inside you. 
You take his face into your hands and kiss him. Your heart is racing while looking at him and your throat feels dry, but you know you have to do it. And you know Rafe is right, you've known it ever since you let JJ compromise your thoughts from the very first time.  “I love you, JJ,” you whisper, and his eyes go wide.  “You sure?” he asks and as soon as you nod he pins you down onto the bed and starts kissing you. Your giggles and the soft attempts to get away from him are making it even better, until he has you pinned right where he wants you, and you are panting, looking up at him.  “You're so beautiful, y/n,” JJ whispers, diving down to kiss you, sloppy and with a smile on both your lips.  “We should go back down,” you whisper and he shakes his head.  “Not yet.” “They might be looking for us and I don't-”  You don't get to finish your sentence when his lips find yours again. He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth and entangles his tongue with yours until you moan into him.  “I love you, y/n,” JJ whispers, and nuzzles his face into your neck. 
And before you can think twice about it, your little make out session has turned into the best sex you've ever had with him. JJ is sitting under you as you softly roll your hips. He's buried so deep into you that every miniscule move is sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His hands are rubbing over your hips and ass in a perpetual motion, while yours play with his hair.  You think you could stay like this forever, just you and him in perfect synchrony; in love.  And the only time his eyes leave yours is when he dips his head to suck on your tits, or kiss your neck.  When he turns you around to lie down and thrusts into you, it's like he's fucking you for the first time. A plethora of praises and a dozen more “I love you’s” fall from his lips while all you can do is moan and babble incoherently about how much you love him too. 
When you find your way back downstairs, after what felt like an eternity, his arms are wrapped around you. JJ is himself again, flirty and always joking, and so incredibly more touchy than before.  “I see you made up,” Rafe smiles and holds his hand out, for you to take your seat back on his lap.  “Excuse me, you had her all night,” JJ complains and pulls you away, just to sit down right next to Rafe and let you kiss him like you had wanted to.  “No more trouble in paradise?” Rafe whispers to you and you shake your head.  “I love my boys,” you sigh.  “And I thought you went with the blowjob,” Rafe teases you and you roll your eyes.  “I could've gotten a blowjob?” JJ gasps quietly and softly pinches your thigh.  “You get those all the time, dumbass,” you giggle, and he smiles at you, completely enamored by your whole being.  “To think I get to be this lucky just because I couldn't stop staring at your tits, princess,” JJ whispers.  “Pretty nice tits,” Rafe agrees with a mumble.  “Pretty nice dicks,” you giggle and cuddle into JJ, bathing in the newfound closeness and in your mind you're already planning it all out; the kids, the dog, and the two loves of your life. 
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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho
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lokisprettygirl · 1 day
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Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)
Read Chapter 5 here// Series Masterlist
Chapter 6
Summary: Your anger gets Daemon in a bit of a trouble. Something really awful is going on at the king's landing wellness center.
Warning: 18+, smutty scenarios, crude language, boring chapter, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.
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You found yourself idly picking at your cuticles as you waited for Dr. Vis to enter his office. You had been called in for a discussion and your gut told you that it was about Daemon. Despite working at the center for two years now, you couldn't even remember the last time the two of you had shared a full sentence but since Daemon had arrived you were on his radar for some reason.
As you heard him entering the office, you stood up to greet him. However, Dr. Vis gestured for you to sit back down,
"You are Y/m/n's daughter, correct?" Dr. Vis asked you as you sat down. You nodded, feeling a rush of emotions at the mention of your mother “She was a lovely lady, always so polite and warm” he commented but you couldn't really tell whether he was genuine with his compliment or not. You didn't think of him as a person who'd remember a custodian of all people.
“Yeah” you smiled as you didn't really know what else to say.
"There's something I'd like to discuss with you about Daemon" Dr. Vis said, and your heartbeat quickened at the mention of his name.
“Daemon-?” You questioned, much to your surprise your voice came out really firm.
“He's been under my care for years now, but I have never seen him so violent as he was with those guards” you gulped as he said that “I visited them and they confessed to me why Daemon attacked them” he continued,
“Why?” You asked him, pretending as if you didn't know the reason already.
“Because of you” he paused for a moment before continuing “those men perhaps said something nasty about you, which i assure that there will be repercussions for such a behavior but that is the reason Daemon attacked them, now if there's one thing i am certain of is that Daemon doesn't do anything that would not serve him in return” he continued
“I'm sorry i don't understand what you mean” you responded as you tried to keep your voice neutral.
“I'll be plain with you y/n, are you offering him services beyond your duty as a custodian?” Your eyes widened in shock as he questioned you plainly. The implication of the question left you feeling embarrassed and angry at the same time.
“Absolutely not, I take my work seriously and always treat patients as such” you mumbled confidently, the confidence came from the anger you felt at his insinuation, even though he wasn't completely wrong.
There have been touching and inappropriate conversations between you and Daemon but it was all over last night, you didn't want to get involved with him again especially if he was entertaining the likes of Shyla as well.
“Daemon is a borderline psychopath y/n, you must know what that means right? He's charming and highly manipulative but everything he does is for his own gain” Dr. Vis said with utmost conviction. Daemon might have been an arse but a part of you knew he was far from being a psychopath with no empathy for others.
“Why does he call himself a dragon?” You asked him so Vis let out a laugh but it wasn't the sort of laughter that could bring anyone any comfort or understanding, on the contrary it chilled you to the bone.
“Because he's sick, why did you ask?” he mumbled, his tone was dismissive.
“It's just I found feathers in his room and when I questioned him he told me that they belonged to him”
The smile on Viserys's face disappeared as you mentioned that, a part of you knew you shouldn't have said anything to him, what if he hurts Daemon more? You felt the sinking feeling in your gut for letting the words slip out of you in nervousness.
“Feathers you said?” He looked at you confused so you nodded “He must have hidden those in his belongings when he came here," Vis repeated, watching you closely. “Guards must not have checked his bag properly. It's just a part of the act, y/n.”
You gave him a nod as he said that.
“Is there anything else you want from me?” he smiled and looked at you intensely as you said that
“Keep me informed if you find other suspicious things in there”
“Sure” you stepped out of his office, rolling your eyes throughout the way. What did he think of himself? And Why did you tell him about the feathers? The guilt was only going to get worse as the day goes on.
As you made your way to room 393, you found the guards doing the thorough search of his belongings. Great job y/n.
Daemon was already tied up to a chair and handcuffed in the corner of the room.
“Ummm can I proceed?” You asked John so he nodded.
“We are almost done, do you want us to leave him like that? For the sake of your safety?” John asked you so you looked at Daemon, there was a definite smirk on his face that most instantly vanished at your response.
“I'd like that, thank you” you glared at Daemon and you could tell he was confused by the sudden change in your demeanor.
As the guards left you quickly went on to do your work, ignoring Daemon altogether. You were acting like a scorned ex-girlfriend and it took you a minute to realize that.
You heard him sniffing as he looked at you up and down before he spoke to you.
“You're upset..why?” He asked you but you ignored him again and that was enough to rile him up.
“Heyy talk to me alright?” He raised his voice a little bit so you glared at him
“i don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you and i don't want anything to do with you” Your words were harsh and your tone was cold, making it clear that you wanted nothing to do with him and that was your plan but then his eyes flickered and you could see that he was hurt by your response.
“Why? I apologized yesterday, you forgave me-” you cut him off mid sentence before he could go on,
“And then you decided to fuck Shyla”
As your words sunk in he snickered at first, went quite for a moment, and then cracked his neck in disbelief.
“Bravo..I was wondering why I was being raided first thing in the morning. What did you say to Vis , hmm?” he asked, voice full of hurt and confusion. You knew he felt betrayed about you going behind his back.
“It was a slip of the tongue. I didn't mean it” you defended yourself and though it was true that you didn't share the information just to hurt him, you knew he'd feel hurt anyways.
“Oh why don't you accept it that you did it on purpose?” he asked you, his tone remained loud and snarky.
“Perhaps I did, now we are even” you retorted so he chuckled again.
“Oh are we? You can't hurt me because you're hurting, isn't that what you said yesterday”
“Don't turn this around on me alright? You don't get to be upset with me” your eyes welled up as you felt the surge of emotions coursing through you.
“I share those things with youuu, I choose to do so, because I believe in you or I did at least”
You didn't answer him as he said that. What were you supposed to say? You shouldn't have told Dr Vis about the feathers, you regretted doing it as soon as you had opened your mouth but you felt on the spot in that moment, what you had seen last night coupled with the nervousness you felt under Dr Vis’s suspicion made you feel so angry and you took it out on him. These days you were doing things you never thought you'd do. He really was driving you insane.
“You know what your problem is?” He asked as he suddenly rose up from the chair, breaking the rope and the handcuffs in one quick motion as if it didn't take a single ounce of strength.
He stepped closer, until you felt like he was practically looming over you so you crossed your arms defensively,
“Tell me, what do you think my problem is?” you challenged him
“Your problem is that you don't listen or ask for explanations, you just assume things.. you're so fucking judgemental..you saw her visiting me and just assumed that we were fucking in here” He spoke angrily, his jaw clenching, teeth gritting, face contorted with rage.
“I don't care if you're fucking her”
Now that was purely a lie which even you couldn't deny.
“Huh then why are you acting as if I have broken your heart?” he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I am-” you didn't even know how to justify your behavior. What was it to you if he was sleeping with other women? He wasn't your boyfriend.
“I don't want to be a part of this ..i can't..I can't.. feel this way that I am feeling, I don't like it ..it's hurting me and I don't like it” you trailed off, barely able to form a sentence that would actually make sense to him.
“I didn't ask you to come to me, to tend to me, to steal for me, i didn't ask for those things” his eyes welled up as he spoke, he felt as if he was losing you forever and it didn't feel right at all but if he was hurting you so badly then he didn't want to add to your misery either. If he was becoming too much to deal with he would not force you to be his friend or more.
“Right”
You looked at the shredded ropes and the broken handcuffs as you reached for them to clean it up. How did he have such marvelous strength? A part of you really wanted to believe that he was something extraordinary, but then he was also not well, he was a patient.
“We didn't fuck..i didn't touch her like that” he mumbled suddenly and your heart skipped a beat, you couldn't tell whether he was lying or not but then he really didn't have any reason to lie to you.
“Why else would she come to see a man who had supposedly harmed her?” You asked him as you grabbed your cart so he chuckled.
“She wanted to confirm a rumor she had heard at the hospital and she told me why she had lied that day”
“Why did she lie?”
“Why do you care? You didn't want to be a part of this right?” he mumbled sarcastically so you bit on your cheek and nodded.
“Right”
With a heavy heart, you silently turned around and left his room. You had made such a big fuss, and for what? You couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for how you had behaved. Not only had you made the entire situation worse by telling Dr. Vis about the feathers, but you had also acted like a terrible friend and betrayed Daemon's trust in the process.
During Lunch hour he caught you staring at him, he knew you wanted to talk to him, it's not as if you had many friends here, he was starting to think that he was the only person you had genuinely befriended in a long time, your aversion to men wasn't just limited to sex but the whole idea of intimacy in general.
Later that night when you went to bed you felt extremely upset about the whole situation and you really missed him, perhaps you shouldn't have jumped to conclusions so easily, eyes can be deceiving and a part of you trusted him when he said that he didn't sleep with her..
As you heard the knock on the door, you quickly leaped out of your bed and ran towards the door but composed yourself before opening the door.
“You know if you apologize I will forgive you” he mumbled as he walked past you and pulled down his hood. You knew you owed him a genuine apology for how you had acted this morning.
"Daemon, what are you doing?" you asked, shocked as you watched him frantically open every drawer in your room, rummaging through your possessions. You didn't see what he had taken, but you knew he had taken something and tucked it away in his pocket.
“Apologize darling” he mumbled as he turned around to look at you so you crossed your arms.
“Im sorry, I didn't mean to rat you out..that's not the kind of person I am .. usually” you looked down as you spoke, your heart felt heavy and he could sense your discomfort so he walked towards you.
“Why did you go into his office?” he asked, his tone now gentle.
“He called me in, Darryl and Jacob had told him that you attacked them because they had made a joke about me” Daemon was silent for a moment as he processed your words.
“You know about that?”
“I heard last night, that's why I wanted to see you, and then I saw Shyla and assumed -”
“That I was fucking her.. and that made you upset” he was smiling as he finished his sentence so you rolled your eyes.
“Yeah whatever, he asked me if I was offering you uhhh bed services or something for you to get so upset about a stupid joke-”
“Joke? They were insulting you..these people that you work with and trust so blindly”
“I don't trust them..I don't trust men ..i know how ugly they can be..but you can't attack people-” you responded as you felt a sense of frustration.
“I can and I will again if I hear anyone talking filth about you”
His words were bold and confident, and they didn't fail to have an impact on your already budding feelings. As he spoke, you found yourself staring at him, unable to look away. Despite everything that had happened this morning, there was still a connection between the two of you that you couldn't ignore.
“And why is that?” you asked him so he grabbed you by the shoulders as he pulled you even closer.
“Because you're my friend sweetheart..I care about you, is that enough?”
“You can't attack people Daemon” as he attempted to pull away from you you reached for the collar of his hoodie and for a moment he was taken aback,
“I appreciate that you did..that you care enough about me but I don't want you to get hurt again, okay?” he couldn't help but smile as you said that. You worried about him, that much he knew.
“Alright, next time I'd hurt them less enough that they're not hospitalized” he said as a matter of fact so you let go of him, not knowing whether to reprimand him for being so stubborn or kiss his stupid face for being so protective of you.
“What did you steal from my drawer?” you asked to cut the tension so he stepped away from you.
“I'll show you woman..calm your gorgeous tits” he mumbled with a grin evident on his face, his words making you feel flushed instantly.
“Other men can't make a joke but you can talk to me this way?” you mumbled to hide your giddiness.
“I only do it because you allow me to, the day you'd ask me to keep my mouth shut for real, I'd never go against your words”
He always knew how to warm his way into your heart again, didn't he?
“If it's a scissor or a knife you better give it to me right now” you mumbled to steer the conversation again so he smiled and pulled out the scissors from his pocket, his hand wrapped around the handle, a part of you feared for his safety, he definitely was unpredictable and unstable at times.
“Daemon give me that please?” You mumbled softly as you stepped closer to him so he chuckled lightly.
“Ohh you beg so sweetly darling..but don't bother I'm not going to hurt myself i promise or you for that matter” he assured you and it did make you feel better but you still wanted to snatch that scissor away from him.
“Then why do you have it?” you questioned him softly so he smiled again.
“Trying to prove a point”
You couldn't even understand what he was trying to do so the shock and fear you felt was unimaginable when he started to chop away those beautiful locks of hair on his head.
“Daemon– “
“Calm down darling I can hear your heartbeat it's so loud…it's just hair …they grow back”
“Why are you doing this Daemon?” your eyes teared up as you questioned, a part of you felt awful seeing him chop those silver locks so carelessly.
“Just told you, I'm trying to prove a point”
“What point?”
“You wanted me to show you, that night you asked me to open your eyes so that's what I'm going to do”
“Cutting your hair is going to accomplish what?”
“You'll see”
Once he was done cutting his hair in a haphazard manner he walked towards you and grabbed your hand as he went down on his knees.
“Touch them” he spoke firmly but his tone was demanding and soothing at the same time.
“Why?”
“So you'd know they're real, that I'm not fooling you with a wig”
You hesitated for a moment but eventually wrapped your fingers around his scalp. He closed his eyes as you ran your fingers through his locks, and you heard him purr softly when you pulled on the roots lightly to confirm that they were indeed real.
“What now?”
You asked him softly so he chuckled, as his eyes raked over your inflamed cuticles he brought each finger to his lips and kissed on them one by one as if his kisses would soothe the burning sensation.
“Now you wait” you sighed deeply as he said that.
“Why don't you just come and see me when you're turned into a dragon?” you asked him softly so he sighed.
“It doesn't work that way, sometimes I can only grow my wings, the other times my hair is the only thing to transform, at times I'm able to build fire with my fingers but I lack the control, it comes and goes instantly, the reason why I have been so confused all my life is because everyone around me made me believe that I was losing my mind and at times i thought so too but not anymore” he mumbled, his voice laced with frustration but you could tell that he was choosing to trust you again with his secrets and mysteries. Or his delusions.
“You can..build fire?” you asked him so he nodded again as if it wasn't the craziest thing in the world.
Could that be the reason why he was burning like a furnace all the time?
“Okay, then I wait” you mumbled softly so he rose up slowly and hugged you tightly before he left that night.
However two days passed and his hair still looked the same, it looked really awful and you could tell that he was getting antsy about it as well. He clearly felt embarrassed and frustrated but dragon baby or not, you were going to help him get through this thing. Perhaps this was a coping mechanism for him , something he had developed as a child to cope with the loneliness he had surrounding him..
Three days later you finally dragged him out of his room and took him to the groomer in the facility to get his hair fixed. You liked how the longer hair looked on him, it made him stand out and if you were being honest with yourself it gave him a distinct aura but as he said it was just hair and it would grow back, at least he wasn't hurting himself.
As you assisted him back to his room he seemed a bit gloomy so you stepped inside and closed the door to offer him some comfort.
“Why are you sad?” You asked him so he sighed.
“Now you think I'm full of crap” he muttered, as if he was expecting you to judge him and call him a lunatic.
“I don't think that way” you responded.
“You certainly don't think very highly of me” he mumbled, his eyes seeming as if he was close to tearing up.
“That's not for you to decide” you told him confidently so he snickered at first but as you walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist to embrace him, you could see his defenses breaking down. “Besides, I don't care whether you're a dragon or not, I don't care whether or not you can turn into an otherworldly creature. I just care about you and I don't want you to get hurt” you mumbled as you looked up at him and you could tell he wasn't really expecting that, he was expecting you to make fun of his delusions and not be such an angel about it.
“So it's not a problem for you if I am lying about it?” he asked curiously so you gave him a smile.
“I'm sure you think you're not lying, it's real in your head and i believe that”
As you laid down in your bed that night, your mind was filled with mixed emotions. You couldn't stop thinking about the situation, and you found yourself feeling guilty about what you had done by telling Vis about Daemon's supposed feathers. You knew that you had made a huge mistake, and you really wished that you were capable of taking it back somehow but it wasn't possible.
The next morning as you dragged your cart into his room, you quickly beelined towards the bedside lamp, it was dark in his room and you heard the shower running already, which was a surprise as he often slept until late..
As he came out of the bathroom you had your back turned towards him so he smiled,
“I want to show you something” he mumbled in his “I'm sexy first thing in the morning voice” so you shrugged in response.
“Put your clothes on first..or just a cloth would do” you requested him so he grabbed a trousers from the closet and put it on.
As you turned around, you were greeted by a shocking sight - there he stood with a long, wet, silver mane cascading down his shoulders, almost reaching his waist.
As he approached, you took involuntary steps behind but there wasn't much room for you to hide. Was that a wig? How did he find it if it was? It can't be real right? What would you do if it was real? What would that even mean? You found yourself going through an existential crisis at the moment.
As you hit the wall, he placed his arms around you to entrap you between him and the wall, and he smelled divine, which wasn't really fair to you, you must smell like cleaning chemical products all the time, you thought..
You finally dared yourself to look up at his head, particularly at those long luscious thick hair.
“Touch it” he asked you as he let out a whispering voice so you shook your head, your eyes already teary so he grabbed your hand and brought it closer to his head before he leaned down and pressed his nose into your neck like always.
“Touch them please” your fingers eventually clutched around the roots of his hair and you sighed, from the relief but also the weirdness of the situation.
“Pull” he whispered in your ear so you closed your eyes and pulled on his strands slightly to confirm that his hair was actually real. It was all real.
“How?” You asked him a stupid question so he pressed his head up and looked at you intently.
“You know how, you just don't want to believe it”
“You turned into a dragon last night?”
“For a moment, it was enough”’
“What if I'm crazy.. and this is a hallucination? Just my mind playing tricks on me? What if this is not even real? What if you're not real” you looked up at him with your teary eyes and trembling lips so he tilted his head. He didn't expect you to understand this, not yet, nobody did, but at least you didn't run away from him at the first sign of trouble, last night you were in here telling him that you'd care for him no matter what, even if he was crazy and delusional you showed him that you'd stand by him.
His hands dragged up from the side of your waist and your breaths picked up immediately, his fingers then trailed the side of your curves, making your knees feel weak at the touch.
“Would this feel so hot if you were hallucinating darling?” he asked you as he opened the buttons of your cardigan, your fingers clutched around the waistband of his trousers.
“Daemon-” you whispered his name as his fingers glided over your chest, your nipples became erect quickly, the thin bra you had on did nothing to hide your shame. As he finally touched the aroused clothed nubs you almost combusted.
“It's all real, I'm real and I'm trying to show you who I am” he whispered in your ear as he cupped your breasts in his palms and rubbed his fingers over your bosom.
“How? Why? It can't be real Daemon” you asked him, not in the sense of judgment but disbelief. You found yourself annoyed by your own questions but he smiled instead.
“I don't really know, i wish to know why I am this way and I'll figure it out, that's why I'm here” he told you as he brought his palms up to cup your cheeks, thumb grazing over your lips tenderly.
“I'm sorry I am trying to make sense of it, I don't want to hurt you, I'm sorry if I still seem doubtful but I'm trying” you mumbled almost quietly so he nuzzled his nose against yours to calm you down.
“I know, i know sweet girl, thank you, nobody has tried before, nobody cared enough, just you being here is important for me”
You got on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck to hug him, the scent of your hair calmed him for a moment but then he heard something and he immediately had you pressed against the wall with his hand wrapped around your throat, a moment later the door flung open.
“What's going on over here?” Dr. Vis asked so and you felt Daemon's grip around your neck tighten for a moment before he let you go.
“Your stupid fucking maid can't even do her job properly” he stormed towards Vis so he glared at him, a moment later two guards entered and handcuffed Daemon, you knew if he wanted to get out of their clutches he could have done so easily but he didn't even try.
“Are you alright dear?” Vis asked so you nodded, you knew Daemon pretended to attack you in order to protect your job and your image in front of Vis but you didn't think Dr. Vis was a man fooled so easily.
“Yes, I just need a moment” you mumbled as you caressed your neck and fixed your cardigan as you moved towards your cart to get the fuck out of there.
“What is this hmm?” Vis asked Daemon as he flicked his long hair to mock him.
“For a doctor you surely are dense”
The remark earned Daemon a slap on the cheek and then he was dragged out of the room for his therapy session.
The possibility of Daemon being an otherworldly creature was becoming more probable day by day and you didn't know how to accept it. How was it even possible? Did his mother sleep with a dragon? Or she was a dragon? Dragons existed? There were other human dragon hybrids in the world or he was the only one? Your brain was running a mile per second with all those thoughts in there.
Later that night you somehow were able to sneak into his room, there was a mark on his cheek and it made your heart clench for him,
“This is not right daemon..he can't treat you like this all the time, you're a patient here, not a prisoner” you mumbled softly as you caressed his cheek so he sighed,
“We need to stop seeing each other like this” he mumbled suddenly but it didn't really surprise you, you knew it was becoming dangerous for you both.
“Mmmm I'll stop tomorrow..did he not question the hair?” You asked him so he shook his head.
“He blames it on generalized hypertrichosis, claims that i have had it since birth”
“Even with the condition you can't grow 12 inches in a night-” you said to him and you could see the grin forming over his face “Shut up”
“I didn't say anything”
“You're doing it in your head”
“Head is definitely involved darling”
“Shut uppppp ..” you mumbled again so he grabbed your chin and leaned into you to kiss your forehead.
“They're beautiful” you mumbled softly as you grabbed a lock of his hair between your fingers, they were silky and so shiny as if he had just returned from a hair salon.
“Would you cut them a little bit shorter for me?” he asked you so you hummed in response before you spoke.
“Mmmm I definitely can but you should keep them for a night, I can braid them for you”
He was definitely happier about the prospect of getting his hair tended to so he excitedly sat down on the floor after passing you the brush. You carefully brushed the tangles and braided it from the sides before you tied those ends together in the center, he looked beautiful, you couldn't really take your eyes off him.
For some reason you just knew that this particular memory was going to stick with you for a long time to come.
The next morning, as you went about your morning routine, you couldn't help but feel a sense of curiosity wash over you. When you saw two policemen in the corridor with Viserys, it piqued your curiosity more than ever before. The police had been around the center quite a few times, usually when a patient would run away. You decided to investigate, and made your way towards the cafeteria, hoping to find answers. As you entered the room, you saw Shyla crying, and Dina trying to comfort her so you approached them as well.
“What's wrong?” You asked her so Dina sighed, her response wasn't what you could have expected even in your worst nightmare.
“That previous patient Tanya from 393? Her body was found in the woods nearby last night”
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zippidi-dooda · 2 days
Text
"What are you?" You asked fearfully, staring into the bright, dual colored eyes of the thing that tripped you.
"Hehe, you fall so easy, Shrimpy!" The cheerful creature chirped. Half his teal body was propped up by his arm across the sand while the other half splashed in the ocean waves.
On his lips there was a wide smile that revealed a gleaming set of razor sharp teeth.
"What are you?" You repeated more firmly.
The being swished his tail, splashing up mini waves behind him. "You're a long way from home, ya know. Only the sailors and merchants come out this far."
You pursed your lips, thinking of how to explain yourself.
It's true normal folk don't normally come out past the city walls, there was no real need too. But you had to come here. There was no way you'd spend another minute trapped on that small island with all the same people that you know all the mundane details and traumas of.
Just hijack a small ship with some food and supplies and you were out before anyone noticed you were missing.
Though, you couldn't just tell this thing that.
So you countered with, "Aren't you too? A long way from home I mean."
The creature laughed and pulled himself closer, dragging himself forward using only the strength of his upper body.
The serpent-like agility was very unusual and rather frightening. With a slight squeak, you crawled back, bumping into a rock.
"S-stay back!"
"Aw! Are ya scared, Shrimpy?"
"I swear, you stay back or I'll ... I'll ...."
"I'd like to get in a fight with a real human so do me a favor and give me all you got, hm."
You swallowed slowly, eyes bulging as you watched him.
The smile fell from his face and he let out a sigh. "You're so boring."
Now it was your turn to frown. "You aren't so fun yourself, you know."
"Say, what do you guys wear all those clothes for? They're the reason so many of you drown so fast."
"They're ... for modesty."
"They're stupid."
You narrowed your eyes at him. "Listen here, Mister, not everyone can afford to have scales and fins to cover our bodies. Clothes help us stay warm when it's cold and are a symbol of one's status."
"Haha, you guys can't even keep warm? Humans are so weak." The creature reached for the brown bag haging across his chest, pulling out a rusted fork. "What's this?"
"Huh?"
"What do you use it for? Jade thinks it's for your hair but that doesn't sound right to me."
"It's ... for when we eat. We pick up food with it."
He laughed and reached for something else. "You guys do too much. What's this one for?"
You reached for the small pipe he held, brushing off some soot. "I'm not sure you could use it all drenched like this, but people use it to, uh, to smoke."
"What's that mean? To smoke?"
You brushed your hands on your shirt and stood up. "Well, it's certainly been ... a day, meeting you. But I need to get going now. Good da-"
"Wait! You can't go now," the creature gripped onto your ankle to prevent your leaving. His grip was vicelike compared to when he tugged to trip you earlier. "You have things to show me."
"Like what?"
He released your ankle and proceeded to dump the contents of his bag at your feet.
"I really don't have time for this-"
"But you have to! I didn't come all this way just to see a human walk away." The being crawled up to your height, pulling himself up by bunching the fabric of your clothes.
You struggled under his weight and held him as best you could, without recoilling from the slimy feel of his skin.
"Okay, okay! I'll-I'll come back tomorrow to answer whatever weird questions you have. Just get off me."
You propped him against the rock behind you and backed away, brushing your clothes back into place.
"You're not gonna come back."
"What? O-of course I am."
"Promise?"
Briefly, you looked over your shoulder at the walled city you were trying to leave behind. Then to the not so far distance where boats swayed near the shore, waiting for their tether to be cut and released beyond the horizon.
You should have left the island sooner.
"... I'll be out here again."
"You better." He grinned. "Or else I'll have to come get you myself."
***
The next few days you spent going to that same corner of the island, meeting with the (what you now know to be) merman whose name was Floyd, and telling him everything he wanted to know about anything. And missing your golden opportunity to leave in the process.
You should have left the island sooner.
Not that he cared. All he wanted was to learn about the "goofy" things humans had created. He was just as interested about the land as your people were about the sea, even if he didn't care all too much about you humans.
He really want shoes but without feet to wear them he could only voice his longings, playing with the end of his tail mindlessly.
He had made you tell him everything you knew about land and begged you to bring him little knickknacks and tell him in full detail how they were used.
You may have gotten tired of his whining and relented to bringing him things from your home, ignoring the comments made about "Hey, this thing went missing, it was here a second ago" as you left the house.
Today, you brought a small dish decorated in dotted mushrooms. It was really a statement piece rather than a dish to eat off of so you thought Floyd may be more interested in it compared to a normal dish.
As you walked to your usual spot along the shore, you found a familiar head bobbing halfway above the water.
"You're here early." You stated sitting in front of him.
He watched you silently.
Perhaps he was upset about something. But he often switched from one mood to the next in seconds so you hoped your trinket would help cheer him quickly.
"Look at this," He took the dish from your hands. "Now, it's not as ... mm ... I dunno, interactive? As the other things, but lots of humans have things like this. It's just something to show off."
He swam closer towards you, leaning his upper body against the shore. He smiled brightly.
"To think you'd guess my favorite thing by happenstance. Thank you kindly, I'll be sure to repay you in full one day."
He ... sounded odd.
Maybe he was sick?
"It's fine. Are you ... feeling okay?"
"Just swimmingly."
You forced a smile. Of course he'd say it like that.
"You'll be here tomorrow, same time, yes?" He asked.
Not like you had much of a choice. As quickly as Floyd could become happy, he could quickly become angered and he stated multiple times how much he'd like to squeeze you. You hadn't experienced it much, but his strength was nothing to laugh at. "Yup."
"Good. Azul will be pleased. I'll expect you no later." He smiled at you then vanished into the water.
***
As promised, you arrived on the dot at the usual place and Floyd was waiting patiently.
Upon seeing you, he smiled and waved you over. "There you are, I have something for you."
"For me?" You were surprised.
For as long as you had been meeting with him, Floyd had never brought you anything from his home and you never thought he would. So as unexpected as this was, it was a bit touching for you.
He handed you a small, shell shaped vial filled with a lime green liquid.
You smiled. "Thank you."
"Drink it."
You uncorked the top with pop. "You drink things underwater?"
"Sometimes. As different as your and my kind are, we are still similar."
You nodded and took a sip.
Then you immediately gagged. It tasted downright horrendous!
Floyd was quick to lean forward, tilting your head back and pushing the vial back to your lips. "All of it. You wouldn't want anything bad to happen now would you?" He was beaming.
You closed your eyes and scrunched your nose, doing all you could to keep yourself from throwing up.
"There you go. See, not so bad was it?"
You coughed and broke away from him as you took the last drop. "What was that!?"
"Nothing harmful. We've wanted to show you our home as a thank you for your hospitality towards us. Be sure to thank Azul for his gift."
"What?" It was becoming harder to breathe.
Floyd grabbed your hand and began to drag you forward.
"H-hey ... don't ...."
His smile never faltered as he pulled you deeper and deeper into the water. His chuckled rang through your ears and you began to gasp for air.
You tried pulling away. "Fl ... oyd ... I can't ...."
This was bad. If he didn't let go and kept dragging you under, you'd die from lack of air. Why did you ever trust him in the first place?
...
"Open your eyes, you'll miss all the sights."
You opened your eyes.
You could see normally and ... you could still breathe?
The merman swam skillfully, webbed hand holding firmly onto yours.
Everything moved in a blur.
At first, all you saw was an endless blue. But as you swam deeper you saw an ocean of color. Yellows, greens, orange, and everything in between. Swaying seaweeds and branching coral. All sorts of fish swimming merrily, bubbles trailing in their wake.
It was, "beautiful."
"Indeed. I hope you'd like to visit more often."
"Yeah ...," wait, you could talk? "Hey, what was that drink you gave me?"
"A potion to help you breathe underwater. You should adapt here quite nicely."
You began to smile.
Though it tasted god awful, you were glad it gave you the opportunity to see all of this.
You peacefully watched the bright sights all around you.
But then you kept going deeper and deeper until the array of colors turned to dark purples and navy blues, an infinite darkness stretching before your eyes.
Faster your heart began to beat.
"Um, Floyd ... where are we going?"
"Hm? To see Azul. Oh, and I'm not Floyd."
"... what?" Your heart seemed to stop.
Everything was getting darker and you could only look at the merman fearfully. His mismatched eyes seemed to glow dangerously.
You tried to stay calm, your only option was to stick to this creature. You were too far out, way down under, you couldn't see and you had no idea how long this potion would last. If you tried to get away now, you'd surely die.
So you could only hope you weren't lured out here to become a meal.
The creature pulled you alongside him through the gaping mouth of a long dead sea monster, into the pits of its stomach. The light seemed to have been wiped out completely.
You kept away from the bone walls and held the being's hand tightly.
You should have left the island sooner.
Soon, a soft purple light hit your eyes and the sound of jazz music filled your ears.
Instead of a barren expanse filled with bones of past victims, you were led into an elegant room similar to the high end restaurants back home.
Mer-people of all sorts sat at tables, chatting, eating their food, and enjoying the relaxed atmosphere.
This ... wasn't at all what you were expecting.
"Shrimpy!" A familiar voice called.
You were then wrested from the creature beside you into a tight hug from someone who looked exactly like him.
Their tail coiled around you a few times over, the end of it still floating in the water, their grip suffocating.
Then, just as quick as they had grabbed you, they pushed you away, glaring. "Shrimpy! You gave Jade a gift? I thought those were just for me. And it was mushrooms. I hate mushrooms. Why don't you ever get me anything I like?"
"Now, Floyd, it's not up to us if they wish to share with us both. And anyway, I think it's quite endearing."
You looked back and forth between the two. They were the same in every way, shape, and form, the only difference being their mannerisms and voices. Their gray and amber eyes the same, the strand of black hair the same, yet both features mirrored the other like a reflection. It was like you were seeing double.
The one who had brought you here smiled coyly. "Oh dear, they seem a bit shook up."
"Oi, Shrimpy, he's not your favorite is he? It's me, right?"
"... wh-who have I been seeing every day? Was it not 'Floyd?'"
"You've been seeing Floyd. But he's said so much about you that yesterday I couldn't help my curiosity getting the better of me and decided to visit. Floyd, you did mention me to them, didn't you?"
Floyd curled himself around you again. "Don't remember. Jade's not important right now, Shrimpy. You've missed me, haven't you?"
"Come now, Floyd, your dear twin matters much more to you than you've said, yes?"
You looked back and forth between the pair. Your day couldn't get any weirder, could it?
Jade held onto one of your hands. "Azul's been anticipating your visit as well. He's such a needy-I mean, friendly person."
Floyd uncoiled himself from you and held onto your other hand. "Yeah, he was annoying at first, but now he has something he wants from you so he wanted one of us to bring you to him. He's such a pain."
The pair swam you forward, past the tables of guests towards the back of the place. A row of shells and pink seaweed hung like a door in front of you. The twins parted them and pushed you in.
You gulped.
Though not very scary, the room held an intimidating air around it. It was decorated neatly with a large table at the center. There were, what seemed to be, cushioned chairs for you to sit on and behind the table was a large shell shaped opening in the "back wall" of the room.
The room was lightened, but the opening was shrouded. You couldn't tell what was there.
"Come in, come in, my dear. One mustn't lurk in doorways, it's rude." A kind, smooth voice beckoned.
Long, inky tentacles spilled from the crevice, snaking towards the table, attached to a blue eyed man drawing forward.
You gaped for a moment before walking up to the chairs. "Wh-who are you?"
They chuckled, "A bit nervous are you? Don't worry, this is all done with your best interest in mind. Jade, Floyd, go bring our guest something to drink."
"I'd rather not!" You spoke up, thinking of the potion you had drank earlier. "I-I mean no offense, I just ... had some already."
The being hummed then gestured to the chairs. "Take a seat. It must have been quite an adventure getting here. You humans aren't quite built to get this far. But I hope you liked your journey under the sea, I think it is quite lovely here."
In your seat, you nodded slowly.
"Wonderful! Now, let me introduce myself, I am Azul Ashengrotto, I run this place and may I say, I have been quite looking forward to meeting you."
He leaned against the table, "Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled that Floyd ran off during work hours but thinking it over, I believe it is a marvelous thing he got to meet you. Good mer-human relationships are difficult to come by so I'm glad you've been so kind to him."
He filed through the papers on his desk. They glimmered gold.
"He's been kind to you, hasn't he? Jade as well?"
Jade and Floyd smiled.
"You wound me, Azul."
"I ain't interested in hurting Shrimpy yet."
Azul glared at them. "I wasn't asking you two."
"Th-they've been ... fine." You shook your head, "what's all this about?"
"Straight to the point, hm? Then let me explain. I want you to help me out."
"...how?"
Did he want you to tell him what things were like Floyd did?
"Oh, it's simple enough. See, being a human yourself you'd know all the best human cuisine. I'd like to incorporate some of that into my restaurants, us mer-folk are fascinated by your kind, you see, and would love a taste of what your kind loves. I'd do it myself, but I'm afraid paper recipes don't do well in the water and your kind is quite ... unnegotiable when it comes to us approaching you."
He selected a paper and turned it over, sliding it across to you. "Contract," it read.
"If the situation permits it, I'd also like to incorporate other human favorites into my other branches."
You frowned, confused.
"Is that really it?"
"Yes, dear. And in return, I can help you get that freedom your heart so desperately desires."
"How did you-"
"Oh, I can always tell. A gift of mine you could call it. You won't have to stand on that land you know everything about again. I can put you in a place you'd never find all the mysteries to, a place with so much to explore you'll never feel the need to leave. Filled with others you'll never fully know everything about."
You looked up at him. "You can do that?"
"Easily."
Maybe your chance to leave your island hadn't left you yet. You could be free, you could live each day where nothing was the same and you didn't know everything about everyone around you for the rest of your life. And all it would take is telling him how to make what humans like.
Azul handed you a fish bone shaped pen and an inkpot. "You'll have all you've ever dreamed of."
"... what's the catch?"
"Oh no, there's no catch per-say. You may take as long as you need and may choose to go wherever. But, you can't leave until we've perfected everything and you will need to return to me the moment I need to know something else about humans. Business is a long, tedious venture you know, and we can't sell something without high chances of prefecting it everytime. But it'll all be worth it in the end I assure you."
You frowned.
You weren't a professional chef, you couldn't even perfect the meals you knew well most of the time, much less the high end stuff he might be expecting. And regardless of if by chance you did help him perfect it quickly, he could ask for something else anytime you were out exploring the world and you'd have to go right back to him.
Wouldn't be much freedom or exploring would it?
You shook your head and pushed the paper back towards him. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think I can accept."
"... how unfortunate. I do hope you manage to get where you want to be on time."
You stood up and turned to leave, "And I hope you get ... get to ...," you took a deep breath, "make what ... you need to ... s-soon ...."
You took a step towards the door where Jade and Floyd were still waited beside.
Then you took another breath ... and water filled your lungs.
You choked and quickly covered your mouth. Then you tried to take another breath and water choked you once more
What was happening?
You dropped to your knees.
"Oh dear. Azul? How long did you say that potion would last?" Jade said.
"About an hour. I suppose it does take quite a while to get here. Especially since you couldn't swim as fast with our guest with you, their body wouldn't be able to handle going any faster than you had, and our chat did take up a lot of time."
You tried to keep yourself from coughing and making the situation worse.
"Eh? You told Shrimpy the potion wouldn't last forever, didn't you, Jade?"
"I was so excited to bring them here it must have slipped my mind." Jade smiled "empathetically" at you.
Your lungs tightened. You could barely take it anymore.
"Oh man, Shrimpy's going to die."
"Yes. Another poor, unfortunate soul will be lost to the sea ... unless."
You looked at Azul.
He lowered himself so he was at level with you, contract in hand. "Unless I adjust this contract here to say I'll simply save their life out of the goodness of my heart. The meaning of freedom and saving can be used interchangeably. After all, who doesn't feel free after being saved?"
You nodded desperately, gagging in futile attempts to keep your remaining breaths.
Your skull felt like it was being crushed by a pulverizer.
Three ...
With a tentacle, he dipped the pen in ink. "Though I suppose it'd be better to write a new contract with just that on it since our client here doesn't want this old one. But that'd take far too long, our poor dear would be dead by then."
Two ...
You were freezing with a chill you had never felt before.
Gagging again, you snatched the paper from his hands and reached for the pen.
"Now, now, you must think about this carefully, dear. What if you make a decision you'll forever regret?"
You didn't care anymore, you just wanted to live. You snatched the pen and hastily signed your name.
Azul grinned.
... one ...
Your eyes closed and your body went limp, the contract and pen floating from your hands.
Then, you weren't entirely sure what happened next.
Something had been pressed against your mouth and after a moment you were able to open your eyes, still dazed but feeling normal again.
Floyd had wrapped himself around you, "Yay! Shrimpy, we're gonna be friends down here forever now."
Jade held onto your arm, brushing your hair back gently. "I do hope you don't mind sharing your stories about land with me directly."
Azul stood above you, smile wide as can be, signed contract in his tentacles. He leaned forward, cupping your cheek.
"I'm so glad we were able to come to an agreement my dear. Oh, there's no need to thank me. I look forward to working with you. After all, this contract binds us. For all eternity."
You should have left the island sooner.
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neighborlystudios · 2 days
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・﹒・ from vault 32 [1]
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Summary: You got approved for a marriage partner from Vault 31 after not finding a suitable boyfriend in your own. After meeting your future husband, and standing ready to saw your vows, you both agree to call it off. But they couldn't not have a wedding- so you chose his cousin.
Warnings: 18+, arranged marriage
Pairing: Norman MacLean x GN!reader
Notes: Yes I love him and Cooper I am a man of many tastes. Also this was too long for 1 part so I broke it up. Where my Norm lovers at???
Parts: 2
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Today was the day- you were getting married! Despite not dating much, you were excited yet equally as nervous since your new spouse was someone completely unknown to you. Sure, you had crushes here and there, but all the guys here were so...boring?
Nothing about them were interesting to you, they were all the same, so that led you to seeking out Vault 31 for someone. This was completely normal so it wasn't odd, if anything, it was just a matter of time. Well, the time came and was now just moments away from seeing your soon to be husband.
"We're so proud of you...we'll miss you but, just know that we we'll always love you" Your mother sniffled as she adjusted your appearance here and there, ensuring that you were as perfect as can be. You assured her that you would visit once a year and that everything was fine. You, your family, the overseer, and few other dwellers of your vault who you knew stood outside of the entrance to 31, and you were nervous. Then, the door slowly opened.
There he was, standing in the center just like you were with your vault members. He was tall, and attractive, but you didn't know what to even say. Then, your friend bumped into your shoulder as a sign to say something as everyone else was silent, anticipating you and your future husband to say something.
"Um...hello" That was not the ideal first impression, but you couldn't help it! You could hear your friend groan from the awkwardness, which was understandable.
"Hi, I'm uh...Chet. You can call me Chet! Haha...yeah, Chet" Either he was having an off day or he didn't seem too interested in you. Was there supposed to be some sort of spark? Because you know you didn't feel anything and it was obvious that he didn't either. Awkwardly laughing along with him, internally cringing, your graze drifted over to the much shorter man beside him.
Oh he was cute. Shorter than you, but he had short, black hair and all you could really describe him as was cute. Why couldn't you have been paired up with him instead? Your eyes and his eyes both met and only then did you feel that spark. But before you could fully process what that means- their overseer ushered everyone to their vault so the wedding can begin.
"Hi...Chet. So...excited? Nervous?" You tried to make small talk as you walked beside him, but it was if everyone around you could sense that this wasn't going to work out.
"Well...if I'm being fully honest, I was put up to this" He leaned closer and whispered in your ear, the honesty caused you to gasp but then you realized that you needed to be secretive as he whispered it to you.
"Oh...but why?" You whispered back, slightly concerned. Your gaze drifted back to the shorter man standing on the other side of him and you caught him staring back at you.
"Well uh...I may or may not have a crush on my cousin, Lucy. So they uh...thought this would help me get over it. Namely her father, the Overseer" Turning back to Chet, you just stared at him as that was...unexpected, to say the least. Clearing your throat from how awkward it got. you didn't feel bad about not marrying him anymore. Stealing another glance at the shorter man, you looked back at your arranged husband and he looked back and forth between the man and you.
"Ok- either I'm stupid or do you guys like each other?" You slightly jumped as he was suddenly louder than before, causing a few heads to turn in your direction before facing forward again.
"Chet!" The black haired man scolded him and hit his shoulder, causing Chet to say "ow".
"This is Norm, he's my cousin and Lucy's younger brother" Chet smiled as he introduced the man who you fell for far too quickly, you awkwardly smiled at him and he did the same back.
"Hi Norm, nice to uh...meet you"
"Nice to meet you too..."
"What's going on?" A girl with long, dark hair whispered from the other side of Norm, curious of what you were all discussing.
"Nothing, Lucy!" Chet and Norm both yelled in hush. So that's Lucy... After that- you made small talk about some things from your lives and before you knew it, you were on the small stage ready to say your vows, looking at him and he was looking back. But you both knew that this wasn't going to work out in the slightest. Staring into the crowd mixed with his family and yours- you found Norm looking back at you. His expression seemed...pained, almost. Did you both genuinely fall for each other while you're marrying another man? Like sure he was really cute...but you just felt drawn to him in a way Chet wasn't.
"Do you?" The sound of the officiate shook you from your thoughts as you looked back, humming to have him repeat it.
"Do you take him to be your lawfully wedded husband?" You stuttered as you stared at Chet, he looked as equally as worried about this, not wanting to go through with it. So you said the first thing you thought.
"No"
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nerdy-frog98 · 4 hours
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Okay I’ve had several days to think about it, and I’m not upset about Eddie’s cheating storyline anymore.
Nobody asked, but HERE’S why.
Eddie is an incredibly traumatized character. The military experiences (+ his dead friends), losing his wife so suddenly & without closure, and a couple near death experiences will do that to you! Add that to parents trying to take his child away ON TOP OF feeling like he needs to give Christopher a mother at any and all costs…? Maybe a little bit of Catholic guilt sprinkled in there too.
Season 5 was not my favorite for a myriad of reasons, but one thing I did like about it was Eddie’s complete mental breakdown. It felt like a long time coming... BUT. His mental breakdown didn’t even really scratch the surface of his issues, and there are still a lot of things he needs to face before he can truly be at peace. One of those things is Shannon.
The effect that Shannon’s loss had on Eddie has, in my opinion, never been explored properly. We got a little of it in season 3 with the illegal fighting, and then hints of it again when he was with Ana, but it never felt like closure to me. It felt like season 6 tried to give him closure (through Marisol), but it wasn’t satisfying because it was more or less a duller version of what happened with Ana. “Moving on” for his sake, but with no real emotional repercussions. Maybe this is just a personal opinion, but his story has felt like a ticking time bomb to me since the moment he broke up with Ana. His breakdown in s5 wasn’t the real bomb though.
Now imagine being Eddie, a guy with a lot of unresolved guilt and feelings for a woman who died right in front of him. Imagine you see a woman with that dead wife’s exact face. I can honestly say I have no fucking clue what I would do in his position. What he did- erasing Marisol in his first conversation with this lookalike Kim, then later lying to Buck to meet up with Kim- is morally not okay. Sure. Would any of us act in a rational way?
I’m not meaning to justify cheating, but I do genuinely believe this is one of the only ways that stubborn ass was going to figure out his issues in a way that might actually help him move on. He’s being delusional with Kim, and once the ball drops, I believe there’s a great big breakdown waiting for him on the other end.
People often accuse Eddie of being the most boring of the 118, and I hate that assessment so goddamn much. Eddie is probably one of theee most complex characters (besides Buck) in the entire show. He’s self-destructive, kind, loyal, patient and impatient- he’s a good father and a good friend, and he’s FLAWED. That is why I love him so much.
So no, I don’t hate this storyline. I am genuinely excited to see where it goes.
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reyreadersblog · 8 hours
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My unpopular TIG opinions.
Since y'all are expressing opinions out here..who am i to leave out? Now have in mind that these are MY opinions, some of these are unpopular some of these are NOT, some of these are even underrated facts but let's just ignore that..
(Please don't hate me)
1. I DON'T CARE ABOUT EVE, and i don't want her to be with Grayson..bcs APPERANTLY and very unfortunatly there are people out there who ship Gray and Eve..crazy..i know, i really don't care about her, i already made a whole post about why i don't like her at all, she's a manipulator, she's a liar, she's a backstabber. She traumatised poor Gray and threatened Ave. I respect your opinion if you like her and i truly understand where some of you are coming from, but i just can't manage to like her, don't hate her i just dislike her. Even if she gets a redemption arc..i can't seem to understand how i'll like her character after what she has done, but if i will..."forgotten but never forgiven"
2.underrated characters, there are so many of them in this books, for example Zara Hawthorne. I love her honestly, i could never hate, i understand she may have done some wrong things...but i love her nontherless♡♡ and same goes for Alisa Ortega.
(Honorable mention) also come on, give my man Oren some appreciation he deserves, you think following teenager around is easy? Even if it's his job and he gets paid, it's still tiring..😔
3. Uhh..i am scared to say this...i prefer Nash and Alisa to Nash and Libby...WAIT, WAIT, WAIT...DON'T KILL ME YET..LET ME EXPLAIN FIRST🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻, i saw @hawthornesbiggestfan 's post, and that encouriged me to say this, read that post bcs that explains exacly how i feel. I love Nash and Libby, they're super cute, i can't wait for their wedding and think they are going to have a very happy family...but..i'm still at the restaurant😔, EVEN THO we never got to know Nash and Alisa's story, smtg about those two had me invested in them from the beggining, like imagne Alisa growing up and Nash slowly developing a tiny crush on them..young love..passion..childhood lovers...love confession..ughh, also the fact that Gray, Xan and Jamie already saw her as their family, like an older sister. Such a shame we never got to see their story. Again, i'm not saying i dislike Nash and Libby tho if it had been love triangle between Nash, Libby and Aliso...i would choose Nash and Alisa...
3.Avery is freaking underrated, yk what's sad? SHE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER, and she doesn't get enough hype (i've made a post about this too) meanwhile people are swooning over Hawthorne brothers, and yes i am one of them but i love Avery to death, i even saw someone comparing Avery and the brothers saying "oh she's so boring..Hawthorns are way better than her..blah..blah..blah" technically they were saying fuck poor people, i know for a fact NONE of the brother would last an hour from where she came from (iykyk), she's a girlboss, and a main character for a reason.
4. As much as i love Averyjameson, i have to say their story is pretty much over, We'll probably get some cute moments from them in tgg or in games untold, but they ARE NOT a main couple anymore.
5.TGG IS A NEW SERIES, please understand that it's new book series with new characters (at least most of them) stop attacking JLB, it's her books, it's her choice.
6.Lyra Kane's haters don't make sense to me, especially those one who mock, and laugh at her lovers saying "you don't even know her, i'm gonna laugh at y'all when she turns out to be Eve 2.0" uhm...sir..miss..shut it. I respect your opinion if you're a Lyra netural bcs it's true we don't know many things about her and i totally understand if you can't love her yet, but don't hate, we know we're delusional most of the times, but that's what headcanons is for, for fun, alight, let people have fun.
7. Will all due respect i have...Averygrayson shippers are...dumb..yikes..sorry, but it's the truth, i'm tired of talking about this, it's been 4 books, Avery is happy with Jamie, they're perfect for each other, their relationship status is great and Gray is most definetly getting a new love interest..but of you still ship and have faith in them..do so..who am i to stop you? Just don't be disappointed when it won't be ture.
8.i may be judging too early but Savannah and Gigi being in the game..doesn't sit right, tbh honest it'a NEPOTISM at it's finest, i love both of them so much..but..nah. again, idk for sure..it may be some trick, it's JLB after all.
9.there are too many repetitive charcter traits..Jameson and Rohan, Grayson and Savannah, Gigi and Xander, Eve and Emily, every single dad, exept for Isaiah.
10.Speaking of Isaiah, he is extremly underrated, i mean he is the best dad in the series and somehow people talk about Sheffield Grayson more than him.
Sheesh...don't kill me in the comments please, i'm too young to die🙏🏻😔
(I'll probably do a part 2...
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bleedingichorhearts · 2 hours
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𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲: 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐤 (𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓)
𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Happy late, late Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mothers out there! Have some time to yourself. :)
𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.
TW // SMUT/NSFW, Dubcon, Cervix, Yandere Themes, Goggle Translation.
𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗:
Маленький мир - Little World (Russian)
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Pushing off a rock, I hurriedly made my way through the rocky coral. Desperate to leave the red waters of this place. Having been here for far too long for my tastes despite that creatures… adamant argument.
He would block any attempt I would make out of his nest, lowly rumbling at me; scolding me for even to attempting to leave before he would usher me back to his nest. His clawed hands gently but firmly leading me back. His eyes never truly moving away from my form that settles back down in his cave.
It confused me at first. Why would he want to keep me in the grounds of his nest? Were their other predators out there? If there was, I’m sure Spartak eats them for breakfast and I’m sure that he does because I have never seen a creature so… muscular like him; strong and huge even. So I let him lead me back to his nest, getting bored when he leaves to do… whatever he does in the sea. Getting fed up and tired of being stuck in the same place over and over again. What was the reason I was in here anyway?
I honestly don’t remember. I’ve have been here for who knows how long? I’ve been very patient with him as well. Not wanting to… anger such a creature like him with bad manners, but I have a deep feeling that’s what he wants. Not to anger him, but to stay with him. It was obvious on what he was doing. I was no idiot to not notice the early stages of entrapment.
Perhaps, if I attempted to communicate with him he would… change his ways of his acts? It was hopeful thinking with his bulky form looming everywhere every time I glanced at him, but the more I stay put in his nest, the more I get eager to leave when he leaves. The more I just want to claw out from underneath his gaze, his hold. It eventually lead me to spill my thoughts out to him right on a silver platter. Too much built up frustration and emotions settling harshly on my shoulders.
Yet, he has still have yet to coo, growl, snarl, rumble at me through out my frustrations towards him and his confiscating ways. His golden eyes never leaving my own when he rises from the water pool; up and over me. His hand carefully settling on my cheek, it had me fumble my words for a moment.
Perhaps, he did not realize what he was doing was wrong to a base line human? Maybe it was in his culture to have a female hang back and care for the nest while he goes out? Oh, but he should know the deference from his female species and my species, it had to be obvious!
“Маленький мир, if I had known you needed more care, I would have provided you more.” He had spoke after my rant to him. His clawed thumb moving up and down against my cheek. Something I haven’t noticed he was doing until after his words.
“This- this is not just about care Spartak! This is about my freedom!” I argued; whined, placing my hand over his that rested on my cheek. His eyes briefly flicking over to the small action. “I want to explore the waters over your territory. I want to be able to swim with you near the surface of the water. I want to touch the warm sands of the beach. I want to go back to the land.”
His thumb stops running across my cheek then. His golden eyes filling with thoughts; narrowing down at me. I was afraid then I have admitted something I shouldn’t have, but it needed to be said. I wasn’t going to be stuck in his cave forever. It was never the plan to.
“Please, Spartak. I am only human.” I beg up to him. Fighting the urge to look away from his own eyes that give nothing away of what he was thinking. I have spilled now, there is no take backs on what I have said to him.
“…Fine, but some… accommodations will be in set in place, Маленький мир.” He huffed after a while of his eerie silence. His body leaning down to my level. His breath tickling my skin. “I hope we can agree to the terms?”
“If reasonable, yes.” I respond quickly, sudden hope rising in my chest. Not completely aware of his praying eyes and his tongue brushing this teeth.
“Разумно... да.(Reasonable... yes.)” He rumbles, siting still for a moment before he shoots forward, taking me by surprise. My heart jumping at his unexpected suddenness as he lips press up against mine. His teeth nicking at my bottom lip as I gasp. Getting a mouth full of tongue from him.
Putting my hands on his jaw for the support. I groan when his tongue brushes up against his nick on my lip, giving it a little sting. His tongue wrapping around my own before he pulls away, a huff escaping me when he does so. His tongue licking his lips with a slight grin on his face.
“Ты связан со мной.(You're connected to me.)” He rumbles out in a different language I have yet to understand myself. My own tounge licking out my own, wounded lips as he leans forwards again, quietly purring next to my ear. “Нет выхода, маленький мир.(There's no way out, little world.)”
I shake my head, pushing off from another rock. Now was not the time to think about the past, I had a sea creature to evade. I possibly had, maybe a few hours before he notices that I’m gone from his nest. Having left from it right before one of his nightly hunts I have patterned him down on.
“Маленький мир!” I felt the waters and rocks rumble around me, my hands gripping the side of the rock as I breathed more air from my small rebreather more than necessary.
Maybe I had less time than I had thought?
“Я думал, у нас есть соглашение?(I thought we had an agreement?)” I could hear him through the water. His tone very… undeterred, very calm. “Что случилось с нашим соглашением?(What happened to our agreement?)”
“Я сделал что-то не так?(Did I do something wrong?)” I can hear the questioning tone in the language, bubbles coming out of the rebreather as I hurried to at least find a hiding spot from him.“Я тебя обидел?(Have I offended you?)”
“Маленький мир, come out. I know you are there.” It sounded like he had whined, a high pitched ring going through the waters before all seemed quiet again. The swiftness of fish swimming through the water not creating a current. The corals not moving a muscle. Even the water seemed still in this darkened area.
It was too still.
My anxiety to get caught suddenly spikes, my hands desperately working up at the rock above me. Having found a falling cave entrance here just a moment prior to the silence, the stillness. Bubbles taking up my view as my neck and back tingles of being watched. My gut flipping in my stomach.
I gasp when sudden weight is pressed against my back, pinning me to the rocky wall in front of me. Bubbles continuously obstructing my vision as I could feel a hand rank up from the bottom to my neck and through my hair. A rumble pressing up against my back. “Нашел тебя, мой маленький мир.(I found you, my little world.)”
Both of his hand keep me pinned in place from head and waist. His chest pressing up against my back. Rumbling all sorts of vibrations through my body. “Возвращайся в мое гнездо.(Come back to my nest.)”
“Не заставляй меня умолять.(Don't make me beg.)” He grumbled, and It’s like I could hear him in my mind, making me feel all lightheaded that I had thought I was losing my oxygen, and out of panic. I’ve managed to grab ahold of a rock above me, dislodging the cave entrance and slashed it back at Spartak behind me.
His hand claws at my back, tearing at my suit as he rears back in surprise. A hiss coming out of him while I made haste to crawl through the opening of the cave, desperate for multiple things. Desperate to leave the water.
“Маленький мир!” He hisses behind me, my body wiggling through the opening and into the cave with a lucky air pocket inside of it. My body breaching the surface as I scramble for any type of land to take a rest on. My body exhausted from all that panic I have felt in that split moment.
I whine when I swim some more and touch the risen, sandy surface of the cave. That I could stand up on another surface than Spartaks nest. My knees failing me as I splash back down into the thin surface of the water, simply resting there for some sort of comfort; relief. My hand taking off my rebreather from my mouth and tossing it somewhere else in the air pocket.
“Твои действия причиняют мне боль, маленький мир.(Your actions hurt me, little world.)” The creature speaks out loud. The sound of water moving behind me bringing a shiver down my spine. “Тем не менее, я их не понимаю.(However, I don't understand them.)”
“Are you… trying courting me? Showing me your Сила?(Strength?)” He asks, his shadow engulfing my body. “Showing me your confidence and bravery?”
His lips press up against my back, starting at my lower back, just above my cheeks. His hands resting on my cheeks, squeezing them together and thumbing them as his lips slowly trace up my back until he gets to my shoulder blade. His cold, slimy tongue lapping up my wound that he created by his own hands, a low rumbling hum coming out of him. “Такое хрупкое маленькое существо.(Such a fragile little creature.)”
I hiss at him through my teeth, my hands forming into fists. Too exhausted to actually say anything much to this sea monster as my wound stings at his… mouthy actions. My body laying pinned across the sands in this cave as he purrs and a coos at me. His hands sliding gently from my cheeks of my diving suit and down my hip dips. His face nuzzling into the back of my neck “Такой прекрасный маленький мир, ты есть.(Such a beautiful little world, you are.)”
“Всегда полон маленьких секретов.(Always full of little secrets.)” He purrs, his breath fanning against my shoulder. His clawed hand carefully tearing any last piece of suit away from me. Leaving me tired and bare underneath him.
“Spartak.” I whisper his name into the layer of water underneath me, unsure for the reason. Maybe I needed to have something else ground me as well? Maybe I felt like I needed to apologize to him? Maybe… I just said it for it to mean a lot more than it does?
I gasp as this cold slick slides between my folds. Slowly going up and down between them, teasing me. Coating my folds with its slick. A spark of arousal shooting from my stomach to my core.
“Я начну этот процесс.(I'll start this process.)” Spartak hums, rocking his hips slowly. His hand squishing my cheeks together then letting the go and watching them bounce. “Чтобы обеспечить нашу связь.(To ensure our connection.)”
His hands suddenly grip at my thighs and pull me down on him. His cock that was teasing my folds slipping straight through. Brushing up against every single nerve as he sheathed himself to my core. A deep rumble vibrating through his chest as I whine out at the unfamiliar feeling of his cock.
It felt… different, almost silky like. Not so… rough, dry, wet? I couldn’t tell if I should be gripping the sands or not, it was so different than what I have expected this to feel like. Oh, but the girth of him was undeniably pleasurable. How his cock did not leave space inside of my pulsing walls untouched.
He thrusts once and that has me griping at my palms. A barely restrained mewl being said into the water as he thrusts again and again. My body rocking with his thrusts. His chest brushing up against my back again, pressing down on me, keeping me in place.
“Это то, что тебе было нужно?(Is that what you needed?)” Spartak hummed, nuzzling into the back of my shoulder, giving it a kiss. His chest vibrating against my back. “To have claimed you as mine?”
He groans when my walls tighten around him, pulling him in. His teeth gently nibbling at my shoulder as he shifts his angle, gaining a cry of his name. A shock of pleasure running through my body.
“Khorne, Это то, что тебе было нужно.(That’s what you needed.)” He mumbles into my skin, his that same spot again and again. Slowly picking up pace. “Чтобы я претендовал на тебя.(For me to claim you.)”
“To have you as my mate.” His tongue laps over my wound again, do doubt needing more… care to it with all his strong movements inside of me. Mewls and moans escaping my lips. “Такая нуждая мелочь.(Such a needy little thing.)”
He thrust a bit more harsher now. Seemingly desperate to hear my endless cry’s of his name. To have me bounce forward to he could drag me back down into his cock that infinitely touched all the right places. Making me feel like some jellyfish underneath him. My thought process only being enraptured with him and the pleasure he brought me.
“Spartak!” I cry out louder, my walls tightening around his cock. His teeth latching onto my shoulder, breaking the skin as he moans out, pushing himself to the hilt. The tip of his cock pressing up against my cervix, pushing his tip through it as his cock twitches inside of me. My mind going numb at the feeling of his hot cum flooding my insides.
Weirdly, with his cock at my cervix never brought any pain to me like it should have. Instead it brought me unforgettable pleasure to shoot all my nerves out, a chocked cry of his name ripping through my mouth. Pleasure filled tears running down my cheeks and mixing with the water below me. I couldn’t even think except how his cock filled me up to the brim, leaking around his cock and dripping down to the waters below.
Spartak feels how his Маленький мир goes limp underneath him, submitting to him. His teeth still latched onto her shoulder as he purrs at her submission. His hips rocking into her walls that gone slick with his seed. Yet, she still pulls at him and his pulsing cock, still feeding her womb with his seed, his mark.
He rocks his hips forward more, a low growl leaving his throat. His Маленький мир whining and shivering underneath him as he pumps more of his mark in her.
He acknowledges the fact he could turn her with his teeth latched into her shoulder like this, but he doesn’t really feel any concern for it. If she doesn’t turn she’ll still be with him either way; land or water. If she turned out to be a creature like him? All the more better to keep her by his side; in the nest with him. To admire and care for his Маленький мир.
“Такой хороший маленький мир.(Such a good little world.)” He groans, his arms locking himself around her smaller body. His mouth coming off her shoulder as he licks at it, savoring her taste between skin and blood before nuzzling into her neck. Inhaling her scent that shifts on him as he purrs into her ear. “You will forever be mine, Маленький мир.”
His маленький мир only whines and mewls up at him when he starts up again. Making sure this his mark took place wherever she try’s to run.
“Мой, мой, мой.(Mine, mine, mine.)”
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gentlethorns · 23 days
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okay i'm struggling again
#she bork#tbd#idk i'll be fine life is just very mean and unfair and worst of all ordinary and dull. i go to work i come home i do nothing worthwhile.#weekends are never long enough and i never get to cram enough into them to enjoy myself. if life was mean but also generous and glamorous i#could maybe put up w it bc for every low there would be a high but it's not. it's just mean and you hit that low and then instead of it#being followed by a high you just end up on a plateau and eventually you hit another low. god i just don't think i was supposed to live in#this ordinary boring tedious life like i'm not made for it. not in a pretentious arrogant way but in a way that's like i'm going fucking#crazy like i have cabin fever but w my life rather than my environment (which tbh maybe they come down to one and the same). idk sometimes i#want to just blow up my life and go somewhere else and do something else and have fun and not feel so weighted down by responsibilities and#bills and worry about money specifically. like i was miserable in high school but now i think i look back on it fondly bc 1. no true#responsibilities or high stakes and/but 2. the stakes always FELT high like i was CONSTANTLY up and down and euphoric and depressed. not#healthy at all but it always felt like something was HAPPENING and now it just doesn't. i have always though that bored was the worst thing#to be and now here i am all the time it feels like. bored.#and again at the root of everything is that life is mean. mean mean mean. sometimes shit just HAPPENS that's bad and fucks you over and#there's nothing you can do about it. and again if there was something guaranteed to make up for it that would be fine but there's not. you#just have to recover and let it go and move on. and i'm not good at that
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helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3
some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it
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simgerale · 2 months
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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iceeericeee · 6 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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toastsnaffler · 3 days
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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cinnamon-notes · 14 days
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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)
#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact#with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes#but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost#become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their#hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed#and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they#lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never#had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant#really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you#just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs#capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont#care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem#and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did#try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found#yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i#crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary
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colorful-horses · 2 years
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The more I think about High Guardian Spice, the more perplexed I become
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hauntingblue · 2 months
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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