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#atinywhore
atinywhore · 6 months
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stuffed
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pairing: jongho x (fem) reader
word count: 2250
genre: spicy spice :)
warnings: soft dom jongho, biting, lots of praise, fingering, size kink, sorry not sorry, but yo can't convince me that jongho doesn't have a thick cock so, low-key breeding but he just likes to fuck her raw idk what kinda kink you call that (psa: use a fucking condom bitches), uber romantic to lol I feel like he's such a softy, gets off when you come, I think that's all.
an: this is the first fanfic I wrote since returning from my hiatus so it took me a little to get back into the writing and rediscover my own writing style! So I hope you enjoy and please interact and give this lots of love! Happy Turkey day whores ;)
taglist: @mingigoo @ravenjoongie @wickeddarkness-place @whatudowhennooneseesyou @teezers99 @mirror-juliet
The boys love to celebrate American holidays with you. Every year you have fireworks and hot dogs on July 4th, and you always host a thanksgiving day meal. This year is no different. It’s a three day prep event for you and you can’t forget the cooking still needed the day of! Just to say it, it's a stressful but very rewarding day to be able to have a nice meal with the people you love most in the world. They always try to schedule events and showcases around the actual day of thanksgiving so they can celebrate with you. Last year they couldn’t and it really made you upset. It was the first time in three years that you weren’t able to celebrate your favorite holiday with anyone. They saw how upset it made you and they were determined to make it up to you this year, especially your boyfriend Jongho. He took the days leading up to the holiday off of practice for their next comeback to help you prepare the food. 
It was the day of thanksgiving now and despite the help from Jongho, you still were behind. You appreciated his help so much and you knew why he was doing it, but you had to go back and fix the stuff that you assigned him. Most of the time he just sat on the other side of the island and just watched as you moved around the kitchen. 
“Baby can you help me with the turkey.” You asked without looking up from the stuffing you were preparing. 
“Mmm” he replied standing up. You looked up to give him a smile to show your appreciation, but when you looked up you paused all your movements. This happens often. Ever since you two started dating. Jongho’s presence is so big. His shoulders are twice the size as your own and his biceps are almost as big as your head. From the moment you saw him you were attracted instantly. He loves to remind you how big he is and how small you are, especially in the bedroom. Sex with Jongho is very romantic and tender, with a hint of kink. He loves being on top, entrapping you beneath his thick, muscular body. He’ll lean down and speak hot things into my ear to make my orgasm that more intense. You can feel your face warm and your pussy grows slick with excitement. You try to look away before Jongho can see, but I know he knows what I'm thinking about. We haven’t had sex in over a week because his schedule has been keeping him in the studio all day and late into the night, and there was  a huge project that you needed to get done before you could start the thanksgiving prep. 
“What do you need me to do baby?” Jongho says as he steps behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and places a quick kiss on my neck. You can't help but giggle and instinctively push your ass into his groin. He lets out a little moan into your neck. Before you can get swept up into what's about to happen you kinda push him off of and turn to face him.
“Can you please turkey from the other counter. It’s too heavy for me to lift baby.” He nods and you give him a quick kiss on the lips as a thanks. Turning back to the counter you remember the potatoes that have been on the mixer and rush over to turn the machine off. Lifting the top of the mixer up and removing the mixing attachment you lick some of the potatoes off to make sure the seasonings are right. The butter and salt coats your tongue and you can’t help but moan a little at the taste. You feel a familiar presence behind you once more. 
“Taste good?” Jongho whispers in your ear. His voice sends a shiver down your spine and jolts of electricity straight to your pussy. Your knees go wobbly but his grip on your waist keeps you grounded. 
“Jongho..” You attempt to protest, but it’s weak. 
“Yes, baby?” He says peppering kisses down your neck and onto your shoulder. His hands smooth up your torso and one stops at your breast to tease your nipple beneath the dress and apron you are wearing. His other hand moves up to your neck moving your head to rest on his shoulder so he can have better access to your weak spot. 
“I need to f-finish.” You manage to get out as he sucks on the sensitive part of your neck
“Oh yeah baby? Finish what?” 
“The m-meal. The turkey n-needs to be st-tuffed.” 
“I think you need to be stuffed, not the turkey baby.”
You can’t help but give in to him. Your body continues to sink into his embrace and before you know it you feel your ass rubbing against his thick cock straining beneath his jeans. He continues to suck and leave marks all along your neck and when you reach back and caress his cock, he growls and bites your neck at the contact. You can’t help but let out a gasp. 
“Fuck baby. I need you now.” He says, as he turns you around and throws you over his shoulder. He easily walks the two of you toward the bedroom. In this position the skirt of your dress is bunched up slightly toward your hips exposing your pussy to the cold air of the room, you shiver at the sensation. You start to squirm in anticipation. While keeping your locked on his shoulder Jongho flips your dress the rest of the way up and uses his thumb to tease your entrance. 
“Someone is wet for me.” He says continuing to play around with your pussy. Jongho shifts his head to the closest part of your thigh and bites it hard. You squeal and moan at the pain. He kisses your new mark before tossing you onto your bed. “The things i’m going to do to you (y/n).” He stands at the end of the bed looking down on you and the only thought that is going through your mind is, big. His wide form casts a shadow over you and you can’t help but shiver at the form before you. He lets out a frustrated sigh before he grabs the collar of his hoodie and pulls it off in one smooth move. He pauses with the sleeves of the hoodie still on his forearms, the material gathered at his middle covering his bare stomach. His broad and muscular chest is now exposed revealing the deep heaving breaths, you realize your own breathing matches his. He is pointing daggers at you with his stare, it's so intense and pointed that you swear your heart skips a beat. His eyes shut slightly as his head tilts left and right, the movement accompanied with the popping of his neck joints. He lets out a moan and his usually big eyes, now half lidded, are pointed at me once more. He removes his arms from his hoodie sleeves and his full torso is now bare. He doesn’t have a full set of abs, but the area is muscular nonetheless. His hands now reach for the button of his jeans but he makes no move to unbutton himself.
“Why is my girl still dressed?” He asks with a shit eating grin lighting up his heated features. He extends his strong hands to help you to your knees. Your shaky hands make a move to undo the bow tying the apron to your figure, but you can’t seem to get the thin straps to budge. You look back up at him to see his arms crossed, making his shoulders look that much broader and stronger than he already does. 
“Need some help baby?” You nod still not able to find your voice, lost in the fog of arousal. He pulls you to your feet, keeping one arm around your waist and the other makes quick work of ripping the fabric off your body, leaving you in your favorite black dress. He turns you around and slowly unzips you from the dress. As the fabric slides from your body you are hit with another rush of arousal. The dress hits the floor and Jongho makes quick work of your undergarments. His hands explore your body, your moans echoing you in the room. His thumbs tease your nipples the way you like as he leaves kisses and hickies on the untouched side of your neck. Once he has you melting in his hands he moves one down over your stomach stopping at your pussy. 
“I bet you are going to be so wet for me baby.” He slides two fingers between your folds, groaning at the state of your pussy. He sinks his teeth into your neck again as he rubs circles around your clit. Your breath hitches and your moans get louder.
“That’s it baby. Sing for me.” He coos as he continues his motions. Kissing and moaning into your neck as he rubs your clit. The build up is coming at you fast, your breathing becomes more erratic and you find yourself swearing Jongho’s name. 
“Fuck- Jongho! I’m-m gonna cu-m.” His thumb takes over for his two fingers so they can slide into your pussy. You gasp and the new sensation sends you over the edge. Your eyes shut and your entire body goes fuzzy with your orgasm. 
You don’t really feel it, but somewhere in your comedown Jongho moves on to the bed. He positions himself between your legs and resumes pumping his fingers in and out of your dripping pussy. His back is bent showing off the strong muscles to your hazed eyes as he takes your nipple into his mouth. Pleasure erupts from you again. He moves to your other breast and he hooks his fingers inside, skimming his fingertips over your g-spot. He releases your nipple with a ‘pop’ and removes his fingers from your pussy. You start to whine but stop when you see Jongho take his fingers and suck them clean of your juices. 
“You taste so good, baby.” He smiles and leans in to kiss you. Your lips move against each other like a dance. He takes off his pants and underwear and repositions himself at your entrance. 
“You ready for me baby?” You nod and he doesn’t move.
“I need to hear you baby.” He gives you a longing look, and places a kiss on your forehead.
“Yes baby. Please.” He smiles and pushes himself into you. You hiss at his size as he stretches you. He moans as he slides his full eight inches inside you. He slowly pulls himself back out, repeating the movement. The pain slowly turns to pleasure and you begin to feel the slow build of another orgasm rise inside you.
“Fuck (y/n), your pussy is so good.” He pants. He flexes his hips harder and harder slamming his cock deep inside you.
 “Oh baby, I can never get enough of you.” The mix of your moans and curses fill the room and create a beautiful symphony. He continues to moan sickly sweet confessions into your ear, making your building orgasm hurdle faster toward release. 
“Baby, I’m so close.” You whimper into his general direction, unable to focus your eyes due to the overload of pleasure fogging your vision. You run your hands up his arms dragging your nails along his smooth tanned skin until you reach his shoulders where you sink your nails. He growls and pounds harder into you hitting that special spot causing your moans to grow louder and more intense. 
“Fuck, come for me baby. Come for me (y/n).” He leans down to kiss you, claiming your mouth as he fucks you. The pressure continues to build until you come again. He follows after you shortly, filling your pussy with his load. After a few moments he slowly pulls his dick out of you and watches as his cum spills from your entrance. 
“So much better than that turkey.” You can't help but burst out laughing. He looks at me confused, but after a minute he understands the joke. 
“It sounded like you fucked the turkey then me.” You say sitting up on your elbows, your smiling face looking at his now rosy one. He grabs both of your cheeks and plants a big kiss on your lips. 
“Seriously, I have to finish the turkey. The boys will be here in 6 hours!” You jump up from the bed, forgetting your boyfriend's cum spilling out of your pussy and running down your legs. He laughs as you run from the room and into the bathroom to go get yourself re-ready for the party tonight. 
—------
Hours Later:
Everyone is gathered at your dining room table and starting to dig into the meal you have spent days preparing. Yunho and Hongjoon are talking about the latest comeback and how the dance routine is going to go with the new title song, Wooyoung is basically flirting with San and the former is pretending not to love it. 
“This turkey is delicious (y/n)!” Yeosang praised.
“Thanks Yeo!” I raise my drink toward him.
“The secret is in the stuffing.” Jongho added. You kicked him under the table and gave him a dirty look, He just smiled and leaned over to kiss your cheek.
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mingigoo · 3 months
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look after you || k.hj (m.)
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🩺 pairing ⇢ nurse! (fem) reader x struggling musician! Hongjoong
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🩺 synopsis ⇢ after a long night at work with little to no sleep, you nearly doze off on your way home, hitting a tattooed, spikey-haired guy in the middle of the road. Panicking, you run out to help him and go with him to the hospital, only to lie and say he was your husband so you could go back with him. Well, when he woke up, he didn't exactly take it the way you thought he would...
🩺 genre/au ⇢ enemies to lovers (kind of), some angst, smut, fluff, hospital au
🩺 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, injury, car accident, hospital scenes, unprotected sex, undefined relationship, mention of possible suicide attempt, Hongjoong is a scruffy underground musician, trauma with touch, tattoo!joong, grumpy sunshine, cum shot, biting, teasing
🩺 word count ⇢ 10.3k
🩺 taglist ⇢ @atinywhore @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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A/N ⇢ this story is purely fictional! I am not nurse, and do not have unlimited knowledge on this topic. However, I am a healthcare worker, so I know a little, but not a lot. I am sorry for any information this is incorrect. This is meant for entertainment purposes only. This is not meant to take place in reality.
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They never prepare you enough for the things you might see within the hospital walls. 
Nothing is ever enough within those few years of education, the desperate attempt to create life savers. No one tells you how much it hurts to see a child suffer until death, a mother, a daughter.
You just wanted to be something. Do something. Be like the girl you dreamed of being as a child—a child who put bandaids on her mother, all over, decorating her like a painting. Sometimes, your mother would act like she was hurt, just for you to play make-belief, “stitching” up her “wounds.”
And here you were, in the hospital locker room, tears falling silently down your cheeks as you unclipped your hair, letting it fall just like the tears. You sniffed, hiding your face in the locker, although no one was around to see. It was embarrassing enough to yourself—you couldn't believe you were crying. You just…couldn't stop.
The day was rough—just too much. Too much death, too much sadness. This wasn't what you dreamed of. You never thought about how hard it would be to put a smile on your face to a patient, right after witnessing someone leave the world. To act, really. You should've taken up that career instead. You were pretty damn good at doing it—well, until you landed behind the curtain.
You haven't slept in ages. It's been constant insomnia on top of twelve-hour shifts, sometimes even longer, and once you are able to lay down, the only thing you hear is the sound of a patient crashing, the cries of family members. It had you questioning your profession. Your devotion. Your childhood.
As you made your drive home, for some reason, the lines on the road soothed you. Your eyes began to beg for sleep, rolling back ever so slightly as you continued. The gentle patter of rain graced the windshield, the red hue of the stoplight in front of you nearing. 
You stopped at the light—pausing to look at the city around you. The city was bright, even at the dark hour of midnight. People were walking, carrying on,  bar lights bright, apartments lit up in an array of colors. You took in a breath and closed your eyes.
And you closed them a little too long when a car horn sounded behind you.
You jumped, feeling apologetic for holding up the line, and continued forward. People passed you with impatience, but you didn't care. You kept going, crawling, really, till you felt sleep creep up once again, shutting your eyes. You drifted off, only for a short moment, and suddenly you awoke with haste—but not quick enough. In your headlights stood a man, walking across the street, and you didn't have enough time to move. You slowed as best you could, tires screeching, praying to anything, anyone, that this was your imagination.
As your car came to a screeching halt, you hit the man with a thump, causing him to crumble to the ground. You gasped, now wide awake, a scream caught in your throat.
You swallowed hard, hands shaking as you pulled over as best as you could and put your vehicle in park, looking around for any sign of someone. 
No one, absolutely no one, but you and this man you just hit. Just a few blocks back, the city was bustling, bars were hopping, but now, it was like a wasteland. You stepped out of your car, gasping for air, and sprinted through the rain to get to the man.
He was lying still, his head bleeding, his back on the asphalt. His black clothing hid the damage he received from the hit, hiding his body, his black hair covering his face. The only thing you saw was the black ink of a tattoo on his hand as it grasped the road.
“Oh my god,” you breathed, kneeling down to him. You assessed him as best as you could, fighting an anxiety attack. “I am so sorry, oh my god.”
He groaned in response, his arm visibly broken. You hurriedly dialed the emergency line, panting, nearly in tears. You didn't even think about the consequences of this action—you were only worried about the man, the stranger, in front of you. 
After nearly crying once more on the phone, the paramedics explained that they would arrive quickly. You hung up and looked over the stranger once more. “Are you alive?” you asked like a dumb ass, nearly face-palming. You were a nurse, goddammit. Act like one. 
You leaned over him, as gently as possible, putting a finger under his nose, and you felt a soft breath hit it. You checked for an airway obstruction, but nothing. He was breathing fine. In pain, but breathing.
The man tried to move, to roll over sharply, but you quickly bellowed, “Wait, please, you could have a spinal injury,” you pleaded, and surprisingly he stopped. “Don't move.” You caught a glimpse of his face. A large cut near his eyebrow painted his skin crimson, but his eyes were beautiful. His lip was cut, too, and you felt immense pain just looking at him. God, what if he was homeless? He looked it. What if he didn't have insurance? Oh god—
You saw how much blood was coming from his head as he looked up at you. His eyes were hazy, like he wasn't really seeing. You hurriedly looked around for anything to stop his bleeding, and when you found nothing, you took your coat off, then your scrub top, and you quickly put your coat back on. You held your shirt to his head as gently as possible, applying pressure, praying that the paramedics would come soon—
Your anxious thoughts were interrupted by sirens. You let out a sigh of relief.
When the ambulance pulled up, two men came to you with a stretcher. You were barely alert enough to hear them say anything. You mumbled a few things, your hands shaking as they set down the gurney. You mumbled to have them put on a neck brace, chest tightening at how the man cried in pain. You let out an ugly cry with him, but no tears fell. They gently rested him on the stretcher, his head steady, but his arm—
“Are you crazy!” you hissed, standing up quickly. “His arm….he needs his arm stabilized!”
“I’m sorry, mam,” the one man condescendingly said, giving you a dull look. “We know how to do our job. We don't need your input.”
You huffed. Mam? Mam? That was insulting. “I’m a nurse, I also know what I’m talking about.”
They ignored you like everyone seemed to ignore you. They began to move away, but a small object caught their eye that lay right where the man was. You picked it up, finding it to be an empty wallet—you’d give it back later.
They rolled him towards the ambulance, and you followed, forgetting about your car, and everything in it, leaving the scene behind. The paramedics didn't seem to care that you went with them, so you sat in the vehicle, watching them treat the guy you hit. You wanted to throw up as they treated him, as you sat still, like a worthless piece of paper. A crumbled-up piece of paper. Yeah. Crumbled. 
When you arrived at the hospital—a hospital that wasn't yours, you walked beside the homeless man, nearly reaching for his hand. However, your race with him was put to a stop as the emergency room staff stopped you as he headed into the wing.
“I’m sorry, only family members are allowed inside,” the woman softly muttered, her eyes genuine. 
She reminded you of yourself.
What….what if this man was really homeless? What if he had no help, no insurance, no family? You had to do something. You’d feel horrible if you didn't do anything.
“I’m—I’m his wife!” you blurted out, louder than you intended. 
The young lady gave you a heartfelt look and nodded towards the door. “Go ahead. There’s a waiting room inside. What’s your name? I’ll let them know you’re the guardian.”
You told her your name, sparing no second longer than needed, and you ran into the emergency room, sitting down in a hurry.
It was now a waiting game.
For what seemed like forever, a doctor came out into the waiting room, looking right at you. 
“Miss y/n?” He asked.
“Yes?”
He cleared his throat. “….You are Kim Hongjoong’s guardian?”
You paused, almost forgetting your whole spiel at the entrance. You remembered the name from his ID in his wallet, and nodded sharply, standing up quickly. “Is he all right?”
“He sustained many injuries, but nothing too major. His arm is broken in three places, and that will limit his mobility quite a lot. We set his arm, but he might possibly need surgery.”
You nodded, relief washing over you. Good, minor injuries. Phew. 
The doctor pondered for a long while as he stared at you. “The paramedics stated that you were the one to hit him with the car.”
You sighed. “Yeah, he came out of nowhere—”
“Why was he walking alone so late at night?”
You looked around the waiting room, seeing only one other soul in the corner seat, sleeping. You wondered about what to say, as your little white lie was becoming a web. 
“I uh….he works late?”
“He was intoxicated at the time of the accident—”
“He works at a bar?” you tried not to sound like you were questioning that statement.
The doctor deadpanned and then sighed. “Listen, I’m sure there's stuff that’s none of my business. So I’m going to choose to ignore this,” he nodded toward the emergency wing. “But you’re welcome to go see him. He’s awake now.”
You wondered for a second whether you should go back there. If he was going to rip your head off for lying, for hitting him with your damn car.
You nodded, telling yourself to grow some damn balls. “Okay, I’ll see him.”
The doctor led you to a room at the very end of the hall, the lights dim. There, in front of you, was the man you hit. He was all bandaged up, a large one spanning around his forehead, covering some of the spikey black hair. His arm was wrapped in a cast and held up for circulation, and his eyes were wide open. Right on you.
“Your wife is here,” the doctor spoke nonchalantly as he entered with you. However, you were stationary at the door. 
“Wife?” he scoffed, coughing a bit. He tried to sit up, but you put on your act, walking up to his bedside. 
“Don't move,” you spoke sweetly, eyes pleading. The attractive man just furrowed a brow, his lips curling down in a grimace.
“We’re gonna keep you here for observation tonight, and see how you are doing in the morning to keep an eye on that arm of yours.” The doctor quickly did what he needed to do and left, leaving you alone with….your husband?
The pretty homeless guy spared no second in the questioning. “Who the fuck are you?”
Your eyes widened, looking down at him. He gazed up at you, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked. A tattoo peaked out of his hospital gown, where it met the skin of his neck. 
“Listen,” you sat down roughly on the seat next to the bed. He watched you emotionlessly. “I’m sorry—I didn't see you when you walked across the road. I take full responsibility,” you breathed, getting nervous under his gaze. 
You were expecting him to scream at you. Well, at least to freak out in some way. It was more alarming that he sat still, completely still, his mouth set in a line.
You blinked.
“I don't care, it’s fine,” he sighed. He showed no emotion, nothing. Not even a twinkle of anger. It was the look in his eye that told you that maybe, just maybe, he ran in front of your car on purpose.
Your eyes widened at the man in front of you—at hongjoong in front of you. He looked distraught tired, brown eyes never leaving your face as you gazed at him. He raised his eyebrows slightly, tilting his head.
“You can leave now,” he huffed, eyes dropping to your open mouth before darting up back to your eyes. “I’m not sure why you're even here in the first place.”
It was your turn to scoff. You crossed your legs in irritation at his lack of care. “Well, maybe because I hit you with my damn car? Maybe I’m worried, maybe I feel horrible, maybe I wanted to see if you were going to be okay.”
Hongjoong just blankly stared. He didn't show any signs of pain, of anger, of anything, really. 
“You don't have to worry,” he spoke eventually, turning away from your gaze to look forward. You watched the tattoo dance against his neck as he moved. “I’m fine. This is all fine.”
You didn't know what to say, how to feel. Your head was spinning, all the tiredness washed away. It pained you to see him so empty, so barren, even though he was a stranger. “I feel like I need to do something for you.”
He bit the bottom of his busted lip, as if forgetting. He made a face, the only expression he’s shone. “No need.”
“But I need to,” you leaned forward, closer to him. He turned to you, eyes void. “I’ll pay for your hospital bill, maybe treat you for a dinner, I don't know—”
“Don't,” he hissed. His eyes grew dark, the fire in them rising. You nearly shrunk back in response to his sudden change of attitude. “Listen, just forget about this, about me, all of it. I don't need your money, or your time, or—” he paused, his anger faltering as he looked at you. “Just…just carry on with your life. I’ll only affect it if I stay in it.”
You frowned, wondering what he meant by that. It didn't matter, though. Your guilt was all-consuming—and the fact that he most likely ended up in front of the car on purpose really was overbearing.
After a second of just…staring at one another, you sighed. “One meal.”
He didn't make a face. Didn't change his plain, empty expression. You looked at his starless eyes, his pale skin. You had the need to brighten him up, to heal him. That was your job, after all.
He opened his mouth to speak, but a nurse came in before he could say a word. You immediately straightened, putting on a smile, hoping he would keep up the act even though he had no reason to. You didn't want to be kicked out—not right now. 
“How are we feeling, Hongjoong?” the young nurse asked, a smile on her bright face. 
“Fine, I guess.” His response was toneless. The nurse still bubbled around, checking his vitals. You watched as he stiffened as the woman touched him. 
She looked at you, arching a brow. “Oh? Are you the wife?” she let out a hum of appreciation, then turned her gaze to Hongjoong. “You’re lucky with this one. They said she freaked out when they didn't stabilize your arm and when they wouldn't let her inside the emergency wing! She must really love you to nearly fight someone to get back here.”
Hongjoong, for the little time you knew him, showed more emotion on his face than ever after hearing that. After hearing that someone—you, a stranger nonetheless—was distraught at his expense. His lips flattened in a line, his gaze faltering.
You grabbed his good hand, although bruises were painted across his knuckles. Old, yellowing bruises. You furrowed your brows, subconsciously rubbing a thumb softly over the colored skin. Hongjoong stiffened, eyes widening, at either your caring touch or the pain it could have been causing. Or both.
You felt your stomach tighten as you met eyes with him. The air was stuffy, his eyes were….practically begging for a reason for your attention, as if he’d never had it before.
“I’m lucky to have him,” you sighed, acting but feeling an intense pull to him. Just touching him, although you didn't even know him, felt like a second nature. 
Maybe it was the regret, the disparity, of hitting him, of being the reason his life was almost nonexistent. Maybe this feeling was because of the responsibility you felt for doing this to him. It didn't matter if it was true; this tension you were feeling with the stranger was more powerful than what you felt with your ex, the one before that, and the one before.
His face was devout of color besides the bruises that scattered his skin. He looked drained, tired, alone. The nurse just smiled at you two, noticing your bloody scrubs and messy exterior. “You’re a nurse, too?”
You just nodded, lost in the feeling that strummed through your body.
Hongjoong’s hand twitched under your hold, his eyes still wide. Still on you.
“Well, Hongjoong,” the friendly nurse smiled. “Don't let her go, she’s a keeper.”
He tore his gaze from you to look at your hand on his. He swallowed hard, blinking. “Ah, yeah.”
Soon after the nurse left, your hand still rested on his. He sat silently, staring forward at the whiteboard with his name on it.
“I….” you struggled with your words, realizing you were still caressing his hand. “I’m sorry,” you said as you pulled your hand away. His head shot towards you.
After a few moments of silence, he said, “It’s okay.” His tone was soft, defeated. 
You wiped your hands on your thighs, sweating buckets. “I, uh, I should go.”
He watched you stand up, but your back was turned, unable to see the wishful glance he offered you. 
You stopped in the door frame, turning around to meet his eyes once more. 
“It was nice to meet you, Hongjoong,” you smiled, watching the glimmer in his eye trying to sparkle. “I wish you well.”
Before you were able to leave the room, he called for you.
“Wait,” he breathed, voice raspy.
You froze.
He took a breath in, exhaling his words. “What’s your name?” 
You turned around. “Y/n,” you spoke softly, your chest aching at the little half-smile peeking through his bruised lips.
“y/n,” he repeated, blinking slowly. He didn't say anything else. You didn't either. You smiled at him once more before turning on your heel and walking out of the room, despite the tear in your heart telling you to stay.
And on your way out, you paid his hospital bill in full, not a single regret in your mind about it.
After a few days, you continued your days like normal.
Well, as normal as they could be. Your mind wandered to the spikey haired guy at every sparing second, thinking of how his eyes pleaded something unreadable, how his hand twitched underneath yours.
You were at the hospital, reaching the end of your workday in the emergency room. After running in with a few scruffy-looking guys, they reminded you of a certain someone, and you just wanted to tear at your hair. You were certain your odd feelings were due to the fact that you hit him with your car, and nothing else. This will pass. 
When the quietness of the night was about to still, a man ran into the emergency room door.
“My friend is hurt,” The man huffed in desperation. You turned to the commotion, seeing a thin, black-haired man holding up another—his friend. But that friend and his familiar spikey hair jolted something inside of you.
You jumped out of your seat behind the nurses’ station and ran to the men, meeting eyes with the taller one. He was just as beautiful as hongjoong was, but his eyes were frantic.
“Sir, what happened?” you questioned, reaching out to the man who was just who you thought. Hongjoong’s head rolled back, his eyes squinted in pain, his teeth barred. You carefully steadied him. “What’s hurting you?”
At your voice, Hongjoong opened his eyes wide, looking straight at you. “Y/n?” he grunted out, his breaths strained. He shut his eyes again, and you almost couldn't take the look he had on his face.
“His arm,” the other guy said to you as you called for help,  struggling to hold Hongjoong up. “He got into a fight at the bar, some guy decided to mess with his broken arm and, well…..”
You felt a sense of rage fill your body. You wanted to ask Hongjoong why the hell he was at the bar only days after getting hit by a damn car, let alone getting into a fight.
A few other nurses gathered around, all helping to walk him over to a bed. The wing was empty at this time of night—only a few people around. Once again, Hongjoong looked extremely uncomfortable as the nurses touched him.
You held him gently as you set him down on the bed, feeling his fingers curl around your arm.
He held on to you with his good arm—the hand you held only days before. The other nurses fluttered around, setting things up, but Hongjoong just stared up at you.
“Hi,” is all he said, his fingertips etching into your skin.
Your chest tightened, forcing yourself to smile. “We must be fated or something,” you joked, hoping to brighten him up. “That or you just frequent hospitals often.”
He blinked up at you, his eyebrows knitted in pain. “Maybe I just wanted to see you again.” He coughed as he joked.
Your heart skipped a beat, the other nurses and the man that came with him side-eyeing you.
“If you wanted to see me again, there are better ways than this,” you huffed, looking around. “We have to get an X-ray, alright? We’ll give you something to ease your pain meanwhile.”
The air between you two was undeniable. He nodded, emotion sparkling in his eyes, unlike the days before. You wondered if you were the reason for it.
It was probably just the pain.
The other nurses wheeled him to the radiology room, leaving you alone with the man who brought him there.
“You’re the girl that hit him, aren't you?” His voice was soft, gentle. It held no anger.
You turned to him, seeing the caring exterior he showed. “I….yes.”
He tilted his head at you, blinking, as if figuring you out in a single glance. “He’s been looking all over for you. You…paid his bill. He doesn't like handouts.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh? I didn't think he ever wanted to see me again. You know, I hit him with my car—that isn't something to take lightly—”
“You paid his bill,” the man repeated, crossing his arms. “He feels indebted to you. Please just make sure he knows not to feel that way.” The man sighed, looking into your eyes. “Despite how he looks, he ruminates over things. He’s sensitive. He’s a mess right now.”
You sighed, too. “I…I paid his bill because I did this to him—”
“No,” he interrupted, eyes serious. “You didn't.”
You knitted your brows. “....What do you mean?”
The man gave you a deadpan stare, as if not wanting to spell it out. He let out a breath he seemed to be holding. “He….he jumped in front of your car on purpose, y/n,” he bit his bottom lip. “So no, you really didn't do it to him. He’s…he’s just been a mess lately—and now that you acted sweet, played a wife, held his hand or whatever, he’s even more of a mess.”
Before you could ask what he meant by that, Hongjoong was back, alert and upright, but the pain still rested on his face. His gaze met yours, and you felt your stomach swirl in a mess of emotions.
You couldn't look him in the eye as you took care of him.
Hongjoong was sleeping as your shift was about to end. Before you clocked out, you couldn't help but go to him, check his injury out, check his vitals. His friend—Seonghwa, you learned his name—left about an hour ago.
As if noticing your presence, his eyes slowly peeked open, slightly drugged and delirious from the pain medications.
“I didn't expect to see you here,” he mumbled out, blinking lazily.
“I didn't expect you, either,” you spoke, keeping your emotions in check.
Silence enveloped you as you checked his pulse ox. 
“Why’d you do that?”
He turned his head to look at you. “Do what?”
You unclipped the pulse oximeter from his finger. “Why’d you get into that fight? You were really injured.” You wanted to ask the deeper question, the question as to why he stepped in front of your car, but you didn't want to overstep.
He shrugged, wincing. He didn't have an answer. He didn't owe you one, really. 
“Just,” you breathed, moving over to the computer to open his chart. “Just don't do anything like this while you’re healing. You need surgery. You need rest.”
He bit his lip, probably stopping himself from saying something he shouldn't. 
“Also,” you sighed, looking over at him. “Your friend told me you were looking for me?”
“Yeah, well,” he scoffed. “I really didn't mean to meet you here.”
You let out a chuckle. “Well, here we are.”
He nearly smiled at you, lips curling beautifully. He had a bit of dried blood on his lip, and knowing that you were supposed to be leaving, you still reached for a washcloth. You didn't need to do this—in fact, you were acting against every thought in your head as you leaned forward and brushed the cloth against his lip, watching them part.
His breath hitched as you neared, as you touched him, and once again, his hand twitched, begging to touch you.
Your hand lingered on his cheek for a moment too long, meeting his eyes. He stared at you, expression unreadable, lips parted.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
You took a second to study his face before you moved away from him. His eyes followed you as you put space between you and him, dark and beautiful. 
You logged out of the portal on the computer. “We’ll move you to your own room before we prep you for surgery,” you said gently, heart aching as you met his gaze once more. “The doctor will tell you more.”
“Will you….be there for the surgery?” he showed no specific feelings as he asked the question.
“I am only part of the emergency department right now,” you shrugged. “I don't think so.”
He pondered for a second before nodding, settling himself back into the comfort of his hospital bed. “Okay,” he spoke softly.
You offered him a solemn look, causing him to stiffen.
“What?” he asked.
“What?” you repeated, confused.
He blinked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” you frowned.
“Like you feel sorry for me.” He looked pained, a deeper type of pain.
You thought about a response to that—you didn't necessarily feel sorry for him, you didn't pity him either. In fact, you just felt an immense feeling of wanting to see him happy, to see him without pain.
Which confused you incredibly, given that he was just a stranger.
“I don't feel sorry for you,” you clarified. “I just don't want you to be in pain.”
“You don't even know me,” he huffed, his expression contorting, and you figured that he didn't even know how he was feeling—what he was feeling. “Why would you even care if I’m hurting?”
You smiled at him. “Because you don't deserve the pain.”
He just stared at you, hazily, emotionally. There was a light in his eyes—a light that wasn't there the other day. “You don't know me well enough to know that.”
The air grew cold; you had nothing left to say. You wished he realized that he didn't have to suffer like this.
“Goodnight, Hongjoong,” you hummed, walking away, feeling his stare burn into your back.
The next day, you found yourself drawn to the bed Hongjoong was in yesterday. It was empty, with him now in a room of his own in another part of the hospital.
You typed away at your computer as your colleague, Yeosang, came up to you. 
“Hey,” he leaned over the counter of the nurses’ station. “There's a guy asking for you.”
Yeosang, although very young, was a surgical resident in orthopedics. He was super smart, super sexy, super everything. You went to school together, spending lots of time in the library and everywhere else together. 
“Who?” you mumbled without looking up.
“He’s a patient I’m prepping for an open reduction surgery, but he’s having a hard time letting anyone touch him. Says he only needs you or something.”
You looked up, hands freezing on your keyboard. Hongjoong. “He won't let anyone touch him?”
Yeosang sighed, propping his head up on his palm as he leaned on the counter. “We had to give him more pain medication, and it made him a bit….difficult. I suspect he has some sort of trauma.”
You frowned. “And why is he asking for me?”
Yeosang gave you a knowing look. “I don't know. He kept saying your name, saying he needed you.”
You tried to avoid the rush of blood to your cheeks. “I don't even know him.”
“Yeah, about that….” Yeosang looked a bit confused, a smile peeking through his lips. “He keeps calling you his wife.”
Oh, dear god. “How drugged is he?” you huffed, looking defeated. 
Yeosang laughed. “I kept telling him that you weren't his wife, and he got super mad at me. He said only his wife can touch him. I really need him to stop this so I can get him into pre-op,” The surgeon sighed, giving you a pleading glance. “I’ll ask the attending if you can scrub in—”
“I’m an ER nurse,” you raised a brow. “I have other duties, Yeosang.”
“Y/n, please,” Yeosang pleaded, “ignore the rules or whatever. Can you just come and help me so we can get him into surgery?”
Your mind wandered to the fact that Hongjoong was having a hard time. Sure, he was delirious off of his meds and pain, but knowing that he was struggling with touch, a part of you crumbled.
So you followed Yeosang—after getting approved by the charge nurse, and went up to the third floor.
As you neared the room, you let Yeosang enter first. 
“Mr. Kim, I have Nurse y/n here for you.”
There Hongjoong was, his eyes frantic, his breathing rushed. He was anxious, a mess. The nurses tried to ease him, and relax him, but he wasn't having it. That is, until he saw you in the doorway.
“y/n,” he breathed, as if he knew you forever. Everyone in the room let out a sigh of relief.
“Hi, Hongjoong,” you spoke softly, walking slowly near him. You sat in the chair next to his bed, scooting closer as the room emptied, Yeosang being the only other presence. “I heard you were asking for me.”
He blinked, his eyes lined with worry, with anxiety. For someone who looks so tough, he looks like a completely different person.
He didn't speak; he just looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed, his expression all over the place. You took a glance at Yeosang, who was observing you before you reached for Hongjoong's hand just like before. 
The bruises were faded now, only old scars left on his skin. A tattoo trailed the skin of his arm. You went to rub his knuckles,  but Hongjoong gripped your hand tightly.
You met his frantic gaze. No words were spoken. He just pleaded with his touch, his eyes. You knew he was scared. 
“It's okay,” you hummed, fighting the urge to tuck his hair behind his ear. “It's a simple surgery. You will be just fine.”
He mumbled something, but you weren't able to catch it. Yeosang stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, the other nurses peering over his shoulder from the hall. Hongjoong’s gaze moved to the door, seeing everyone watching him.
And you realized that, more than being anxious, he was embarrassed, too.
You looked to Yeosang, giving him a desperate look, a silent cry for him to leave and to get those damn nosy bitches out, too. He complied, and they were alone once more.
“It’s alright,” you hummed, and this time, you did reach out to his face, gliding a gentle hand across his cheek. Without thinking, he leaned into your touch, craving it, longing for it, as if you were really his wife. “They’re gone now.”
His eyes were droopy, his lips downturned. He looked tough, someone with a rough exterior, but now, he was crumbling. He was alone. Alone to the point that he called for you, basically a stranger to him. 
The moment could have lasted forever. His eyes bled into yours, yours into his, your hand on his cheek drawing circles into his skin. He took in a breath, and nodded.
“Will you let them take care of you?” you asked him gently.
He hesitated. You also did, as you realized that he leaned into your touch rather than avoiding it. That he felt comfortable with you—the one who hurt him. In his eyes, though, he didn't see it that way.
Your hand stilled on his cheek, his worried eyes lighting up a little. You didn't even realize that his good hand—the hand that you were holding just a minute before, was now resting on top of your hand that was on his cheek. He gripped it, his medical haze confusing him, confusing you.
You froze, your eyes wide. You allowed his fingers to interlock yours, having him hold your hand to his face as he shut his eyes. He was vulnerable. Human. Although he looked tough, looked troubled, he was just a person under all that trouble. Just a normal guy with normal feelings, normal fears.
And you were indebted to each other. You for hitting him, him for his gratefulness of your care.
“I’ll be there with you,” you murmured, knowing that Yeosang was still outside the room, close enough to hear, close enough to see. “I’ll be in the room while they’re operating.” 
He nodded, his grip loosening slightly, but he still didn't release your hand.
“I’ll look after you,” you offered, and his eyes met yours once more. 
He slowly let go of your hand, allowing you to move back. You looked at Yeosang through the window, giving him a curt nod for him to come back in. 
Hongjoong let the other nurses touch him, but not without a grimace on his face. Yeosang’s words swirled around your mind; I suspect he has some sort of trauma.
Trauma. Trauma that didn't quite reach you—your touch. He allowed it, actually, he wanted it. You wondered what made him okay with yours. Why he needed you when you were the one to do this to him.
Eventually, Hongjoong entered the operating room, knocked out by anesthesia, but not without you holding his hand, making him childlike, making him….a normal human being.
After the surgery, Hongjoong sat in his bed even more dazed than before. Before the daze wore off, he kept calling you his wife, causing confusion to stir around the hospital. 
As you left Hongjoong’s room to go back to the ER, Yeosang followed. “What’s this about?”
“I don't know what you mean.” 
You walked faster.
“I mean, why does that guy keep calling you his wife?” Yeosang’s shoulder bumped into yours accidentally as you turned a corner. “And why are you the only one who can touch him? Why did you—”
You stopped suddenly. “Why did I what?”
Yeosang let out a breath. “Why did you….touch him like that? As far as I know, you….you aren't married.”
“I’m not married, you’re right,” you nodded, confused by why you touched him like that, too. Confused as to why he looked so relaxed with your touch rather than freaking out. “And…let’s just say we have met each other before. I did that to calm him down.”
You continued walking towards the elevator, Yeosang following still. “Okay, but you still didn't answer my question about why he keeps calling you his wife.” you pressed the down button and waited.
“Is that really any of your business?”
“Just a little—”
“Why?” you interrupted, turning towards him, arms crossed. “Why does it matter to you?”
You didn't mean to sound rude, you and Yeosang were good friends for a while. You've never dated, but you’ve flirted with each other occasionally. You never thought much of it other than being a little playful.
But the look on Yeosang’s face caused you to pause your racing thoughts. “Because I thought we…we had something going on?”
You blinked. “Do we?”
“I mean,” Yeo scoffed. “With the way you were looking at him, I don't think I have a chance.”
The elevator dinged, doors opening. You paused for a second before entering, Yeosang following.
It was quiet before the doors closed.
“I didn't think I looked at him any differently than anyone else,” you admitted honestly, causing Yeosang to look over at you. 
He gave you a smile, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. “You feel something for him, huh?”
You frowned, leaning back against the wall. “I barely know him. I only…” you sighed. “I only met him twice.”
“But yet, you are the only one he allows to touch him,” Yeosang breathed as the elevator dinged on the first floor. 
“That’s something to think about.”
Hongjoong was back to his normal self when you went to check on him in the evening; the anesthesia and meds had worn off. His arm was bandaged up and held in a sling, his eyes empty once more. 
You hesitated on entering, but his stare moved to you.
For a second, you saw regret, and embarrassment, cross his face before melting back into a void stare.
You entered, but he didn't look at you. He avoided your gaze, too. Very unlike his earlier, medical high self. 
You took his blood pressure, fingertips gently wrapping around his tattooed bicep as you put the cuff on. He didn't say anything, didn't even spare a passing glance. He just kept looking forward.
“119 over 79,” you mumbled out, letting loose of the cuff.
He nodded, coughing a bit. He didn't say anything, though.
“Dr. Kang told me that you’re cleared to be discharged,” you tried to start a conversation, but things just felt too awkward. You wrote down his vitals in his chart. “That’s good. Can I call anyone to pick you up? Maybe the guy that was here—”
“No,” he said quietly, looking down at his arm. “There is no one to call.”
“You need someone to help you. You just had surgery—”
“I have no one, y/n,” he hissed, finally looking at you. “Not like that’s any of your business, anyway.”
You didn't know what to say, so you just stared at him with confusion. He was putting his walls up.
“I just….don't want you to suffer alone,” you admitted.
“Why?” he let out a laugh, but it wasn't humorous. “I don't need your worry.”
“Okay,” you breathed, defeated. There was no point; he was just a stranger, just a man. Although, this feeling you had about him was overwhelming. And when you touched him, you wanted to hold him longer. Wanted him to feel better.
You left the room without a glance toward him and carried on the rest of your day as best you could.
Hongjoong was sitting on the bench outside the hospital entrance, head low, as if sleeping.
You knew you should keep walking. You shouldn't give him any attention, any time of day. But your chest ached as you got closer and closer, and as you reached him, you couldn't bear to walk past him.
“Why are you still here?” you asked him, keeping a good amount of distance away from him.
At your voice, he looked up quickly, as if waiting for you despite his nastiness earlier.
He took a second to respond. “I, uh, I’m just sitting here.”
You looked him over. His black hair was no longer styled spikey, it laid flat across his forehead softly. His tattoos were on full display in the black t-shirt he wore. 
“You don't have anywhere to go,” you meant to ask it like a question, but it came out more like a declaration. He furrowed his brows at your words but didn't deny it.
“I’m fine, I’ll figure it out,” he sniffed, the cold air dancing around him. He didn't even have a coat.
Without thinking, you spoke quickly. “Come with me.”
He tilted his head. “Why?”
“Because,” you huffed, taking a step closer to him. “I owe you.”
“For what?” he spat out, probably not intending to sound rude. 
You gave him an honest look, and his eyes softened. “Did you just forget that I hit you with my car? That I broke your arm?”
He just sat there, blinking slowly. “You don't owe me anything, y/n.”
You reached your hand out. His own hand twitched. “Come with me.”
After a long moment of just staring at your outstretched hand, he let his hand find yours, standing up at his full height. You got a good look at his face, his eyes, his lips. He was breathtakingly beautiful. So beautiful. 
You held his hand as you walked to your car, feeling a flutter of emotion in the pit of your stomach.
When you got to the car, you helped him into the passenger seat, despite his aggravated digs at you. You leaned over him, buckling his seatbelt, feeling his hot breath against your cheek.
You paused, frozen, inches away from his lips.
He swallowed hard, eyes glancing down at your lips. He didn't make a move. You didn't, either. 
You pulled away, forcing yourself to get out of his personal space to shut the door. You saw him tilt back his head and take a deep breath before you got to the driver's seat.
As you drove, you asked random questions like a goddamn idiot.
“So, uh,” you swallowed, looking over at him for a second. “What do you do for a living?”
What kind of damn question is that?
“I’m a musician,” he mumbled, looking out the window. “Kind of.”
“Ah,” you nodded, thinking of what to say next. Now you were thinking way too much into things. “What do you play?”
He looked down at his arm, sighing. “Well, I played the guitar, piano, some other things. I don't think I’ll be picking anything up for a while.”
“You will, eventually,” you tried to encourage him, but he just kept his gaze even out the window. You arrived at your apartment, pulled into the parking lot, and shut off the car. “We’re here.”
He nodded, watching you get out of the car. You opened his door, and with slight hesitation, you leaned over him again to unbuckle his seatbelt, but before you could, he stopped you with his good arm. 
You paused, inches from his face, meeting his eyes.
“Thanks,” he muttered quietly. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier.”
“You don't have to be sorry,” you whispered, feeling an immense pull to him, to his lips.
You ignored the urge and unbuckled the belt, but you didn't back away. Not like you could, anyway, with Hongjoong’s grip on your arm tightening.
The belt slowly slipped off of him.
He chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes dancing with emotion. “I was just… embarrassed. And drugged, and uh, well,” he paused, thinking. “Mostly embarrassed. I can't believe I freaked out over a little surgery. That’s so lame—”
“No, it's not,” you hummed softly, delicately. “It's a normal fear.”
He smiled. Actually smiled. From the little time you knew him, you haven't seen a genuine smile on his face. Or any sort of light, really.
“Thanks, uh,” he sniffed. “Thanks again. For looking after me.” his eyes fell to your lips. “You don't even know me, and you still…” he trailed off.
You realized that you were inhaling the air he was exhaling, that you were eye to eye, almost nose to nose. His breaths were shaky, labored, and tired. 
“I would want someone to look after me in the same way,” You whispered. “That’s all.”
“That’s all?” he tilted his head upward, leaning against the headrest, warm, brown eyes on full display. 
“Mhm,” you swallowed. 
His eyes glimmered. He didn't have anything to say, and you didn't either. Realizing that you were shrinking the space ever so slowly, you took the opportunity to back away from the musician. He let go of your arm, but not without a little tug on it beforehand.
You cleared your throat as he got out of the car. You shut the door for him, and you walked together—slowly, till you reached your apartment door.
When you entered, hongjoong strayed back behind the door, not entering. You turned to face him, eyebrow raised. 
“Come in,” you beckoned, and with one more second of hesitation, he followed you in, shutting the door behind him.
He surveyed the place, his eyes finding the piano that sat in the corner of the room. His eyes danced as if surprised to see it there.
The air was thick. The room was quiet. You tossed off your shoes with ease, noticing his struggle with his own, so you bent down the help him. He didn't pull away, didn't speak. He just let you take care of it—of him.
“I don't mean to be a bother,” he mumbled as you untied his shoe. “But I’d really like to shower.”
You glanced up at him. “Oh,” you nodded, taking off his shoe before standing up. “Sure. it’s the first door down the hall.”
He didn't make any move. He stood, a confused, shy look resting on his face.
And then you realized.
He had no clothes to change into. Nothing. He also only had one working arm, and one covered in material that couldn't get wet.
“I can help you,” you trailed off, trying not to read too much into his stare. 
“If you comfortable with that.”
In the bathroom, Hongjoong stood anxiously as you waited for the water to warm up. It took a second, and most of the time, the hot water only lasted so long.
You figured a shower would be too difficult to help him with without seeing too much. You opted for a warm bath, filling the water up once it got hot enough. You made sure to add some suds to it, so he wasn't too uncomfortable.
When you turned around to face him,  his eyes were cloudy, his lips in a line.
“Do you….not like baths?” you mumbled, scratching your head. “I probably should've asked you before I—”
“It’s not that.” His eyes met yours, switching his weight onto his other leg. 
You didn't pry, knowing he was just probably embarrassed that he needed help for something as trivial as a bath. 
Walking toward him, he backed up into the door. You nearly smirked but maintained your cool as you grabbed the plastic bag off the sink counter. “I just have to wrap your cast in this. It'll just be a second. You might want to take your shirt off before I….”
He blinked, eyes wide. “Huh?”
“I don't think you normally bathe in clothes,” you murmured slyly, tilting your head. “Unless you like that.”
He didn't move. His body was as stiff as a board, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.
“Just take your shirt off, dammit, or I’ll do it for you.”
You saw his expression change the minute the words left your mouth.
His good hand found the hem of his t-shirt, hesitating to take it off. You realized that he probably did need your help with taking it off, but with the look in his eye, you weren't sure what would happen if you got any closer to him.
But you moved closer, anyway, setting the plastic bag back onto the counter. His back was nearly up against the wooden door, his breath hitching as your fingertips gently pulled at the fabric.
“Why are you….so okay with this?” he breathed before you could pull the shirt up.
You met his gaze, his eyes unreadable. Almost as if he didn't know what he was feeling, either. 
“I told you already,” you shrugged, smiling.
He blinked, his eyes red with emotion, begging to send a flood down his cheeks. “I don't deserve your help.”
“You do, though.” Ever so slowly, you began to pull his shirt, soft, carved abs appearing as you moved it up. “Because you know, you don't have to suffer alone.”
“Who said I was suffering?” he croaked out, his eyes, his tone, spilling his guts out on the floor for her to see. 
You didn't say anything. You just slowly tugged the black t-shirt over his casted arm, watching him wince slightly. Then, he stood, half-naked, emotionally charged in front of you. He was no longer a stranger. No longer someone that you classified as a patient, either.
His eyes spoke volumes, his good hand twitching at his side. You looked at it, and took it in your own.
“Come on,” you nodded behind you. “I’ll help.”
He looked like he was ready to cry. Ready to break down. He didn't, though, and you walked him over to the bath. You unbuttoned his jeans, but turned around as he stepped out of them and into the tub. 
The soap covered his lower body, all that was on display was his torso, his slim shoulders, the tattoos inked on his tanned skin.  He didn't break away from your gaze as you began to wash him.
“I feel….something I shouldn't be feeling,” he swallowed, his voice raspy, tender, defeated. 
“And what’s that?” you wondered before running your hands through his silky hair, coating the strands in your lavender shampoo.
He shut his eyes, sighing. “I don't know what it is, but what I do know is, for some reason, your touch is very calming when everyone else’s hurts me.”
You paused, hands still tangled in his locks, but he opened his eyes.
A confession of feelings—worth more than any other cliche words. He stared up at you, heart on his sleeve, confusion and fear and everything in between dancing around his eyes.
“For the first time,” he whispered, the only sounds in the room being your shaky breathing and the quiet trickle of water from the spigot. “I feel…comfortable being touched. I….need it.”
His lips parted, his hair dripping wet, your hands still frozen within the strands. You didn't know how to respond, didn't know exactly how you felt, either. But you also knew one thing, and it became ever so apparent as his hand slowly reached your cheek, wet fingertips leaving a trail of soap across your skin.
You blinked slowly.
Softly, gently, you moved forward, over the tub, and brushed your lips against his. His eyes remained open from shock, but his lips moved slowly along with yours.
You pulled away, but didn't go too far, resting your forehead against his. His breaths tickled your skin, sending a blush to your cheeks. 
Emotions are complex. You didn't know exactly why you kissed him. Why you needed to. Why you wanted to do it again. But what you did know was that you liked how his touch felt, liked the little smile that appeared as you kissed him, liked how he gently pulled you back into another kiss.
You took in his breath as you kissed once more, this time a bit more urgent. Your hands gripped his soapy hair, his hand rested softly on your cheek, his thumb on the corner of your lips, his fingers tickling the lobe of your ear. 
He kissed you like he knew you forever. Like he knew just how you liked it. You found your hand trailing down his tattooed neck, fingers dancing on the ink, his dewy skin, his tongue in your mouth.
You parted once more, so close, breaths tangling, fingers scrunching. His breath was hot against your face, his dark eyes pleading.
You’d so get on top of him in that damn tub. You wanted to, so bad. But you remembered that his arm was hurt, that you were the one that did it, and you nearly stood up to move away before he gripped you by the arm.
“Don't go,” he breathed hazily.
So you didn't. You washed him, this time, knowing that you were begging to end this bath and fuck him silly till the sunrise. Till the warm, glow of the burning star fluttered through your blinds. And with that damn look on his face, you knew he was thinking about it, too.
You helped him out of the bath, not turning around this time. He stood slowly, body on full display, even more tattoos, even more scars covering the skin you didn't get to see. 
You sheepishly handed him a towel. He took it, but didn't use it to cover himself up.
“You’re not dating that damn doctor, are you?” he spoke, his tone serious, deep. Sensuous. 
You breathed out, “No.” 
He grinned, cheshire-like. “Good.”
You could tell he wanted to rip your clothes off. He wanted to claw at your skin like some goddamn animal, his expression pained in all of the right ways. 
You needed air. God, this bathroom was stuffy.
Turning on your heel, you forced yourself to walk out of the damn room, because if you didn't, Hongjoong would become something far more stranger than, well, a stranger to you.
But he had other plans. More impulsive plans.
He followed you out of the bathroom and into your main living space. He gripped your hand, his fingertips gently pressing into your skin. When you turned to face him, he was dripping wet onto the lightwash wood floor, beads of water collecting on the ends of his hair. His eyes were wide, begging you for something, anything.
So you gave up on your act.
“Do you want to fuck me right now?” you wheezed, smiling as his eyes widened even more. “Is that what you want?”
You stepped closer to him at his silence, and arched your body against his bare torso, feeling the hardness of him press your thigh, his lips begging to meet yours once more.
You teased him, lifting your mouth to his, letting out a sigh. He shivered as your hands felt up his bare skin, and your hot breath tickled his face. 
He nearly growled, his good arm wrapping around your waist swiftly, tugging your body towards him completely, holding you here as his mouth crashed to yours. His broken arm begged to touch you, too, and without thinking, he moved it quickly. He hissed in pain, his arm definitely hurting him, but he didn't care as much as you did. You tried to part from his lips, to ask him if he was okay, but he bit hard down on your lip to keep you from speaking. 
You moaned while he stuck his tongue down your throat, his hand now tearing at your top, your waistband. You hurriedly tore off your clothes for him, giving him no second to stare at your body before tossing yourself onto him again. He grunted, moaning into your mouth, the vibrations tickling every part of you. He pushed you back, nearly tripping over the throw rug, the coffee table, until your back slammed into the keyboard of your piano.
The keys slammed as your ass hit them roughly, the musician making music without even intending to. His hips bucked into yours, your core right where he needed it, his dick pulsing, aching to be inside you. You lifted your hips, grinding them against his cock, gaining pleasure in his expression.
He nearly whined as you bit his ear lobe, his hips shifting into you, begging for you.
“Can I get inside you?” he moaned, eyes frantic. “I need you, fuck, I need it bad.”
In more ways than one, he needed you, but now, he needed your body. Needed your touch, your moans. You obliged, your body already wet enough for him to enter. You lined up, and without a second to waste, he slowly moved into you, causing you to toss your head back at the feeling. His eyes rolled back; a whine left his pretty pink lips, his chest heaved in pleasure.
His head dipped to suck your nipple, tongue gliding over the sensitive skin of your breast. You huffed, trying so hard to breathe. He let out moans that did something dangerous to your body, to your mind. You moaned along with him as his hips snapped.
“Oh, god,” he whimpered, his tone light, airy. Water dripped onto the soft skin of his chest from his hair. “You feel so good.”
You smiled, tearing your hands up his back as the piano cried along with you. The keys clicked, moaning from the weight above them. The music filled the room, tangled within your breaths, your sweat. You gripped the back of his head, lacing your fingers through his wet, dripping hair, feeling yourself get wetter and wetter by the minute.
Your walls caved into him, his cock pulsing inside you. He looked into your eyes for a long moment as he moved, his black hair stuck to his forehead, his mouth open in gratification. He kissed you, tongue dragging across your bottom lip, tugging on it. He liked to bite.
You felt euphoria reach you before you knew it, and you cried out, gripping his hair, pulling it as he fucked you. His face pained, his teeth barred, his eyes shut tight. Just his expression—his appearance—could've made you come on the spot.
You felt tingles in your fingers, and your toes, and saw stars in your vision. Black spots fluttered, your heart rate probably much higher than it should be. You didn't care if you died right here, right now. It didn't matter. Nope. This was bliss. So much better than that damn vibrator.
You felt like you were on fire—no, more like a falling, burning star crashing to earth. Your stomach ached at his pressure, your hips aching, your head pounding. You came onto him with haste as your vision blurred, tearing into his shoulder blades, leaving little marks on his skin. At your actions, you witnessed the look of utter satisfaction on the pretty boy’s face, his breaths quickening, shallowing. He let out a whine, just as musical as the keys underneath you.
Before he could come, he pulled out, cumming all over your breasts, your stomach. You sighed, closing your eyes, trying to catch your breath.
He stared at you, eyes low, lips swollen and red. So fuckable, so delicious. 
He looked at how he painted you, smirking a bit to himself. He was so full of life, full of emotion. “Let me go grab that towel,” he breathed, his voice crackling a bit. You watched in enjoyment when he walked away from you, watching his ass, his legs, the tattoos move with him.
He returned with the towel, wiping you gently as if he hadn't just made you nearly black out. You gazed at him, not sure what you were feeling, how you were feeling. You could do it all night with him, with this guy who was a stranger only a couple of days before. It wasn't too often that you acted on your desires, but there was no possible way you were supposed to avoid this, avoid him.
When he was done, when you were clean, he set the towel down on the floor, but his eyes didn't leave you. 
“What?” you hummed.
“Just,” he breathed, smiling. “That was really good.”
“I hope so,” you chuckled the feeling of the room lightening, almost in a playful way. “I hope this wasn't your goal all along—you really freaked me out when I hit you.”
He looked down as you jumped off the piano. “Uh, yeah. I bet I did.”
You moved to him, gently reaching to hold his cheeks for him to look at you. “I got you now, huh? No more running in front of cars, unless it's mine. I’ll be prepared next time.”
His eyes widened as if he was shocked by your words. That you knew he did it on purpose. He didn't deny it. He just leaned into your touch, eyes closing tight in comfort.
“Like I said,” you started, giving his lips a little peck. “I’ll look after you, if you’ll allow it.”
He took in a deep breath, opening his eyes, meeting your sincere gaze. His lips curved up. “I’ll look after you, too.”
You smiled along with him. You wrapped your arms around his waist tightly, embracing him, feeling even more intimate than sex. He let out a shaky breath, as if finally realizing he wasn't alone, didn't have to be. That he deserved a caring touch, a longing touch, a needy touch. That he could actually have something to himself.
You didn't know what you were to each other, and it really didn't matter. There was no need to label it so specifically. You could be his rock, his personal nurse, the person to stitch him up when he gets hurt. The one he could confide in, have sex with, whatever he needed. Whatever you needed. 
So when he kissed the top of your head while you hugged him, you tightened your arms just a little, holding onto him as long as he’ll let you.
You’ll look after each other.
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ateezinmymind · 1 year
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number seven
hongjoong x reader
fluff
this is part one !!!
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word count: 3.4k
tag list: @yunhobabygurl @hxneyboy @bobateastay @multidreams-and-desires @yungisstar1117 @atinywhore
the breeze across your face causes the hairs on the back of your neck to rise, even under your bundled scarf. the autumn air - cold, brisk, ready and on the verge of winter.
on your way to the local grocery store, a part of you regretted walking and not riding the bus - or even your beat up and rusty bike you’ve had ever since your teenage years. the very tips of your fingers began to tingle with numbness from the cold, hands buried deep within your long coat pockets not helping one bit. but once you turn the corner, the store comes into view and the slightest dash of relief washes upon you.
it wasn’t even a long walk from your apartment, but the weather made it feel like it lasted one too many millions of years. ‘exaggerate much’
a long sigh leaves your mouth when you feel your phone buzz in the back pocket of your jeans. taking your already frozen hand out from the somewhat warmth of your coat pocket, you manage to dig out the phone - bringing it into your eyesight.
your roommates name displays itself on the screen and you hurriedly pick up the call.
“hello?” you say, closing in on the vicinity of the store's small parking lot. seeing the heat of your breath fog up the air
“y/n! where are you?” san’s voice shrieks through the speaker and into your ear, causing your face to flinch slightly. his concern makes you giggle softly while finally reaching the main entrance, and you grab the door handle and pull it open. walking into the led white lit building. “san, i already told you dummy. i’m at the store-“
“BYEOL NO-“ he interrupts you, yelling at the cat away from the phone. making you roll your eyes and smile - just imagining what mess that cat decided to make this time.
“sorry!” he apologizes over the sound of something rustling through the speaker. “the cat almost got into the plants you pulled down from the shelf”
dismissing his apology in understanding, since there was no need, you smile kindly at the store’s worker that greets you, “i’m only getting a few things that we ran out of, and i need more oat milk.” you continue, sliding a small grocery basket around your elbow.
“do you need me to grab anything while i’m here?” you question, making way to the dairy section.
he hums out in thinking, and then answers once thirteen seconds of him pondering saying “mmmmmnhhhhhh” are over.
“can you get me some strawberry yogurt and those yummy baby food things.. uh, like y’know those cereal puffs?”
after hearing his request, you burst out in a big laugh - catching the attention of a few other customers you pass in your path. “umm. sure san, i can get that for you” you manage to answer once you’ve caught your breath, and blinked back tears from your laughter.
“i’m being serious y/n” san whines out, then chuckles. “i’m really craving it”
“okayyyyy sannie, i’ll do it.”
reaching the glass case doors for the alternative milks, you grab two boxes of your favorite oat milk. “yay!” he cheers out like a five year old child.
smiling to yourself, and putting your things into the basket - you say goodbye to your roommate on the phone and hang up. now walking to your next destination, the yogurt aisle.
grabbing the strawberry yogurt you know san wants, you accidentally back into someone with your basket hooked on your arm.
“oh gosh! i’m so sorry!” you squabble out, in apology. whipping your head around to show your sincerity.
but to your surprise you see the most bright and kind face - instead of one wrenched with disgust that you were expecting.
the man shows his perfect set of teeth in a genuine and lighthearted chuckle, his glasses framing his smile squinted eyes.
“don’t be sorry!” he says, adjusting the black hat covering his platinum blonde hair. “that wouldn’t be the first time i’ve gotten bumped into” his eyes catch yours and you feel yourself blush just a bit while you let out a small polite sigh
he was incredibly handsome.
a small silence fills the air between you two, and you break eye contact and look down for a second. clearing your throat with a somewhat awkward cough.
he must've sensed your shyness and decided to speak up again
“im hongjoong!” his voice was cheerful, and almost instantly soothed your quick wave of anxiety. for you never know whether someone you accidentally run into is going to be as kind as he is. especially with these older ladies grumpy about the cold weather and such.
“it’s nice to meet you, im y/n” you say, putting out your hand in order for him to shake in an official introduction.
he immediately meets yours and you take notice of how some nails of his are painted black, and how the skin of his hands are rough yet at the same time incredibly youthful and gentle. the backside of his hand slightly dry, and you guess it’s from the cold temperatures
his grip isn’t overwhelming, but the perfect amount of pressure to where it’s comforting. like a hug.
“y/n, huh? i like it” his simple compliment causes you to pull your hand away in unexpectancy. “oh…oh, well .. thanks” you sputter, bringing your hand up to pull on your scarf. (that all the sudden feels too warm and tight)
hongjoong was definitely not oblivious to the fact that you were flustered, and it made a part of him all giddy and interested. to where he puts both hands in his back pockets and shifts his weight onto one leg and eyes you closely
you were very captivating, the flush to your cheeks only spreading to your ears now as you loosen the already loose scarf around your neck. he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.
and hearing him chuckle, only worsened your embarrassment.
“relax, y/n” he soothes out, taking a step back to try and help you with some space. “i’m just complimenting you”
he laughs out again when you let out a little noise of a sort of groan and turn your head to the side. trying to gain composure. (or rather try and hide your growing smile)
you couldn’t believe yourself, you were literally acting a fool.
“i’m sorry” you say again. making him scoff out and wave his hands out in front of him. “don’t apologize! you’re totally okay!” he laughs more
“i think it’s cute” he tried reassuring you, but him saying that actively made your stomach erupt in butterflies and you felt yourself smile bigger.
taking a deep breath you look back into hongjoong’s eyes and lick your lips nervously. “well.. thank you.. hongjoong”
when you say his name, he dips his head and puts his hands back in his coat pockets this time. then finally takes notice of the things in your basket that bumped into him. the strawberry yogurt catching his attention.
turning away to look back at the selection of foods behind you, hongjoong speaks yet again and gets your attention once more. “strawberry yogurt huh? i love yogurt.” he steps forward right next to you and grabs a package for himself. “thanks for the idea”
watching him by your side holding one container and looking for another flavor you finally take in the sight of his side profile. perfect, smooth skin and the many piercings that adorn his ears - his long lashes behind his eyewear almost touching the glass.
he was so captivating.
“oh yeah hehe.. yep, just grabbing some things we’re out of.” you reply back, averting your gaze away from him.
as much as he wants to, hongjoong doesn’t ask who ‘we’ is and instead nods his head and picks up some vanilla yogurt to put in his shopping cart too. and a small silence falls between you two once more.
“well, i guess i should head to my next thing on the grocery list,” he says, pulling a small crumpled piece of paper with some dark green ink arrayed all over from out of his pocket. “it was nice getting bumped into by you y/n” he says with a teasing tone, while sending you a friendly wink. which you shake your head and laugh softly, trying not to make a face of distress. turning your body to face him as well. “uh yeah, sorry about that again hehe” you groan out with an exaggerated frown that mimicked one of a frog with your strained jaw (in the best way) and it made him snicker
“i’m only joking, but it really was nice meeting you”
you blush and drop your eyes down to glance at his mouth. glossy lips stretched in a sweet smile, you involuntarily swallow and smile back. “yeah, you too hongjoong”
looking back into his eyes you see them squint just slightly for a second. a flash of affection displayed itself it had seemed, but you didn’t know for certain for he waved you goodbye and turned around and walked away. leaving you in the reminisce of your flustered self.
taking a deep breath and letting it out in another audible sigh you try and remember what to do next.
“strawberry yogurt…” checking off items on the imaginary grocery list in your head, “right,” you say to yourself,
“fucking baby food”
trying not to let that quick encounter with the handsome man distract you too much as you step on track to the infants section.
wearing the most gleaming of smiles across your face
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“choi san!” you shout, closing the front door to your apartment. one grocery bag on your arm hitting the side of your thigh as you begin taking off your scarf and coat.
you hear a pattering of footsteps coming through the hallway and out comes san at your service - still in his pajamas. “yes ma’am?” he says teasingly. “will you please put these things away?” you ask, taking the bag into your hand and reaching it out in front of you. while the other hand and shoulder shimmy off your jacket.
“of course!” san voices in a dramatic almost elderly way, taking the groceries and heading to the kitchen with you following behind - once you slip off your shoes and reply with a light ‘thank you’.
“how did ol shopping go, hmm? did you walk there?”
nodding your head, even though san couldn’t see - you bend down and give the cat a few scratches behind her ears. “it was good, and yeah, i did walk there.” you answer, then walk over to the sink - grabbing a water pitcher and filling it. “but i regretted it, and took the bus home - it’s actually so fucking cold outside.” you complain, turning the water off when it reaches around half full.
going to the counter where the plants you left earlier were situated, you began pouring water into each. giving them the same amount. “the walk there sounds l-a-m-e.” he tells you, closing the fridge door and dashing to quickly snatch byeol before she can walk into the living room. (leaving the grocery bag on the floor in the process, for you to end up picking up for him)
tossing the water pitcher into the sink, causing clunking sounds of heavy plastic and aluminum to echo in the kitchen. you pick up one the plants and place it on the shelf next to the sink. “do you know a hongjoong?”
you don’t mind the dead leaf that fell off the greenery, leaving it there for later and turning your body to face san who finally caught byeol and had her in his arms. leaning your backside against the sink.
“hongjoong?” san pipes up in question (more to himself than you - vocalizing it to try and help his brain to remember any recollection of the name). humming out with ponder, he clicks and squints his eyes. shaking his head. “mmmh i can't say that i do y/n, im sorry”
dismissing the slight feeling of disappointment, you grab the other plant and put it back in place. “why?” san asks, watching your mood change just in the slightest bit.
“oh nothing, i just met a guy at the store today named hongjoong” you say, now busying yourself to the fridge and grabbing a handful of blueberries out of their small container and popping them in your mouth. “was wondering whether you knew him or not is all”
“hmm.. i see, i see” san replies, trying to contain byeol from jumping out of his arms. “was he cute or something?”
swallowing down the berries hard, you clear your throat and whip your head to look san straight in the eyes, with a sliver of mischievousness.
“maybeeeee.” you say in a playful way. ultimately making your roommate shriek and bust out in an excited laugh, readying himself to hear all about this new profound grocery store crush of yours.
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whining out in exhaustion, you yell for san once more. the pain in your head becoming an excruciating pound, and you regret calling for help immediately.
two days since you ventured out in the cold to go to the store and now your body suddenly decided it wanted to get sick?
fun.
“sannie!!”
no response, again… you’d think yelling for him four times before would work but it didn’t, so you lay back down on your pillow. accepting the fact that he’s most likely not home.
carefully and slowly, you turn your body to grab your phone that’s plugged into the charger on its place in the window sill. texting san if he could pick you up some advil from the store.
dropping your phone from your hand you close your eyes in waiting. and then feeling the buzzing of the notification in a matter of seconds, you pick the phone back up and look at his reply.
‘so sorry, i’m not gonna be home until tonight! i love you’
sighing out. and maybe cursing under your breath, you decide that you’ll just go ahead and stop by the store yourself. (the pain in your skull ultimately sealing this thought)
so, texting san back a quick ‘no worries, love you’ - you steadily get yourself up and grab your wallet from the nightstand it was thrown on and clothe yourself in every warm piece of apparel that was available. heading out the door with a mission for some relieving drugs.
only this time… you took the bus there.
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“thank you” giving the best smile you could muster towards the snobby teenaged cashier, you grab the small sack of newly purchased medicine for your cold and made your way to the exit. sighing when the cold air hits your face once again with an icy tinge
sniffling from your nose, you clutch the grocery bag close as your arms flatten across your chest to hold your sides seeking warmth. nuzzling your chin deeper in the bundle of your scarf, crossing the parking lot to the sidewalk of the tiny strip mall where the bus stop was stationed at the corner, you instinctively become oblivious of any person you pass by
until you hear your name being called
“it’s y/n, right?”
turning your head over your shoulder towards the sound of the familiar voice, none other than your new acquaintance met your eyes
hongjoong.
you felt your stomach flip again seeing his welcoming smile with crescent shaped eyes. “oh hi!” you greet, returning his grin. then fully taking in his appearance, he was still wearing the same black hat he wore the other day, but his build was puffier than before. his crossed over arms with the bulging comfort of his layered tops. a black trench type of coat draped over what looked to be an oversized beige hoodie. he wasn’t wearing glasses like last time, and instead it seemed he exchanged it for a scarf … covered around his neck just like the way you wore it on your own.
‘yep .. still handsome’
“what have you been up to? how’ve you been?” his voice sounded so genuine and interested as he beams you one of his infamous smiles. his questions made you feel comforted and almost seen, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart lift in your rib cage. “oh well… i actually just got finished picking some medicine up from the store,” you begin, motioning your head to the right and towards your previous walking trail from the supermarket. “it’s funny, because i seemed to catch a little cold from the day we met. i was stupid enough to not take the bus haha!”
your energy was soothing to hongjoong, and his eyes softened hearing your light chuckle recalling just two days ago. “anyways, yeah …” you continue, “nothing really just gonna go home and try to relax and warm up, try and fully get rid of this headache” stopping with a tight smile, your eyes then go wide internally realizing that you were being impolite not asking him back.
“well-“, hongjoong softly sighs, “what-“ you blurt out right when he begins to speak up, causing the two of you to lightly chuckle in unison. “oh, i’m sorry, you first” you insist with one of your hands releasing it’s grip around your side to lift up and loosely pull on your scarf (something hongjoong noticed you do when nervous - like last time). your beaming grin slowly relaxing from the chuckle the lovely man and you shared.
hongjoong’s voice was like a little spark of warmth which seemed to have an effect on your blood flow and heart rate, and after he too falters his fit of snickering - his tongue prods out to wet the corner of his mouth naturally before speaking again. “i was just going to say that’s too bad, you got sick and all.” pausing he grows a new look of amusement and continues with a cheeky look, “sick of me i betcha”
this causes you to scoff and probably chuckle a little louder than you wanted, swatting your hand from your scarf and down to barely graze the front of his jacket. “nuh uh!” you retort with a high pitch, nose scrunching in a teasing way, along with a roll of your eyes. blatantly ignoring the light pound of your head.
“i’m kidding” he laughs, “you haven’t been around me long enough to get sick of me.. yet”
his response sent your stomach fluttering, yet the tiny voice in the back of your head kept saying he was just ‘being friendly’ and ‘he didn't mean it in any other way besides just being polite’. “honestly i don’t think i could.” you reply, quieter but with more confidence in your gaze up to his. tilting his chin back just slightly with a growing smirk seeing this new version of the girl he’s only met twice, hongjoong’s thoughts arrived. ‘what kind of game are you playing y/n’. and his mind couldn’t help but also think back to you talking about living with someone already, from your first encounter with one another.
“well,” he pipes back up again, tugging his hands deep in his coat pockets - then giving a big sniffle through his nose followed by another full set of teeth smiles, he continues. a slight shake in his voice, “i was just about to go get myself a drink,” he states, poking his elbow back towards the entrance of the local cafe, “can i get you something?”
his kind offer was surprising to you, and it definitely showed on your face, because he immediately started shaking his head with a big smile. “you can decline y/n” and his cheeriness soothed your blushing cheeks, but it didn’t help the way your eyes bulged wide open. “oh- oh, no that would be so nice”
feeling your hands shake gently, you dig them underside each elbow as you cross your arms tightly (your small grocery bag shuffling with the movement).
hongjoong nods his head in agreement and takes one step back and then slowly turns around to go ahead and open the cafe door, doing so with such ease. the faint and welcoming sound of the doorbell jingles and he gives you an assuring hand outstretched towards your anticipating stance out in the sidewalk.
“then let’s get you out of the cold.”
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Moots (gonna get updated as it grows)
@xuxis-pretty-devil-boy - Chai 🐺
@drunk-on-hwa - Sar 🌙
@kpopcrossworlds - Haru 💚
@hongwoosan - ???
@atinywhore - ???
@hipster-shiz - The Coffee Baby ☕️
@mingissoggywaffles - Chard 💕
@twancingyunhao - Lyssa 🫧
@lilhwahwa - ???
@yelloimmitch - ChaoticBun
@mommiejenjen - ???
@perfectlyspaceshongjoong - Hongbabie 🤫
@kpopmademygradesgodown - ???
@fantasy2wonderland - 🪶
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delaneydaywrites · 6 months
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x ven's masterpost x
hi everyone x this is where you can find all my wips and the content related to them :)
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novel projects:
wip one- dreams wip two- sea witch wip three- circus secrets of lothe fem rage
poetry:
fiction of a teenaged fan a shower of sin
----
thank you guys for the love and you can check out some of my other writings and get a taste of my style! below are my fan fiction blogs dedicated to two of my favorite Kpop groups!
-atinywhore -staywhore
don't forget to comment to be on my taglist!
luv you babes xx
last updated: 05/16/2024
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talkbykhalid · 2 years
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are there any writers/blogs you look up to? ✨
im actually so so glad that you ask. let me open my collection of unopened tabs of my favourite blogs (this became unexpectedly long so its all under the cut):
[important note: some (possibly most) of these blogs are nsfw, if you are a minor, please do not interact with any of the 18+ blogs]
@vocalyunho @woobly @halaboyz @yunhoflrtz @yeoandmoon @mingirn and @mingigoo to name a few moots who wrote some of my favourite fics
(not my moots but) i look up a lot to:
@escapewriter (i love coffee house diaries, theyre so good! i recommend u check it out)
@tenelkadjowrites (im so serious when i say this, tenelkadjowrites is the god amongst all gods of fanfiction. im so serious, everything they come up with is just a hit. ive read everything at least fifteen times and then some)
@hongism (one of the strongest soldiers of atinyblr, been a big fan since the dawn of time)
@in-san-ity (WHEN I TELL YOU the number of times i read zemblanity, there was a phase where i read it every night to sleep, partially bc im crazy for jongho, but also bc its so so good; ANOTHER RECOMENDATION!)
@atozfic (EVERYTHING!! and i mean EVERY SINGLE THING that comes out of the atozfic headquarters is a bona fide banger)
@baekhvuns (if u havent read anything by kira you should really get up off your ass and visit her blog RFN! im so serious everything she writes is so amazing, also shes like so nice and funny and kind)
@santheestallion (when i read dance for you i was fucking REELING I LURCHED its so so amazing spectacular, jaw dropping, show stopping, and other words from the great british bake off)
@atzsslut (need i say more? cmon guys, HELLO? 10/10, her works are so,, i cant explain it in words but UDIFAF the way its written is so good like u wont regret checking her blog)
@atinywhore (no words, just go to the blog and read everything. you will not regret a thing)
@setsugekka (obviously, the fic god has to be here. especially after i read paradise lost, MY GOD. i am no longer the same person as i was before reading that)
@mia-tiny (go read unexpected company and a tempting month rfn! my personal favs honestly,, my god GO READ THEM WHAT R U DOING)
@the7thcrow (*banging on the table* IM ADDICTED TO DAISIES!! i love everything about it, i wish that was me!!! THAT SHOULD BE MEEE!)
@latte-fairytaekwoon (QUEEN OF REACTIONS!! i swear when i want to feel something, her works will do exactly that.)
anyway, this is slowly becoming a fic rec post, yikes. that'll be all for today, i swear i have so much more but i need to go to sleep, i have class tmrw 😔
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staywhore · 2 years
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+ master
+ prompts pg
+ current ->
+ ateez account -> @atinywhore
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atinywhore · 4 months
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their girl teaser
chapter two
{ The tips of my fingers go static with all of this pent-up tension. Watching her sleep has done something to me. Something unexpected. “Time to go play brothers.” I can’t help the smirk that is now tugging my lips upward.}
get ready babes. we are back in business. I'm going to say it here so I keep to it, but look forward to weekly updates.
tag list:  @mingigoo @whatudowhennooneseesyou @mirror-juliet @beargyuuzz @xenizaation @hwadump @kpop-choco @gabxbyr
an: if there are any new people interested in this series, please lmk if you'd like to be on the tag list and please follow along for more updates, and standalones!!!
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atinywhore · 4 months
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Hello, i just wanted to say that you’re an amazing writer, while reading your work I can tell that you put in a lot of time and dedication into it! I have a question tho, is their girl discontinued? Thank you for sharing your work with us !
thank you so much!!
no, it is not!!! don't worry! I have not updated in so long because I took an impromptu hiatus from Tumblr and fan fiction. My plan is to finish up with a little mini-series I'm writing for my sister account, @staywhore , and then look back into their girl! I feel very passionate about this series and do not want to discontinue it!
thank you for reaching out it means so much! (I also have some requests that I'd like to get ut first before working on my own ideas because I want to make sure my amazing Tumblr friends are well fed hehe)
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atinywhore · 6 months
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Hey bestieeee can I get added to the “Their girl” tag list? I just got done reading the first chapter and I am invested 😂🫶🏼
added xxxx
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atinywhore · 6 months
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hiatus much...
hi friends... so sorry for that unprompted year long break I took. I was so stressed and moved to a different country for four months... so... sorry about that loves but I am back babies and am going to start writing more for both this blog and my skz blog!
I also am working on a new blog for my non-kpop related story ideas if you love fantasy you should check out that blog I'll link it below!
here is my tentative schedule that will start up next week!
Tuesday- atinywhore post day
Thursday- staywhore post day
Saturday- deleneydaywrites post day
Sunday- teasers for the coming week
-----
thank you guys for the love and support and can't wait to see what you guys think about the new stuff I am brewing up! look out for some holiday themed ff coming out soon. don't forget to leave a comment to be added to my new taglist!
also if you have sent me a request while I was on my hiatus, those will be my top priority so expect them within the next week!
links to my other blogs
-staywhore
-delaneydaywrites
luv you babes xx
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atinywhore · 6 months
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when will the next part of your girl be released?
either most likely in two weeks!! I have to get through my requests first!!
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atinywhore · 6 months
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Do you have a taglist for Their girl if you do PLEASE add me i love it!!!
added babes xx
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mingigoo · 5 months
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chocolate || Choi San (m.)
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❆ pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x brother’s best friend! Choi San
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❆ summary ⇢ you never got along with your brother’s best friend San, but you really never needed to. His pretty face and cocky attitude pissed you right off. But when he shows up on New Year’s Eve when you’re home alone, and a snowstorm forces you to stay together for the time being, you can’t help yourself from his enchanting charms—and sexy ass body.
❆ genre/au ⇢ smut, forced proximity, brothers best friend au, snowed in au
❆ warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, fingering, shower sex, oral sex (male receiving), slightly rough but really not too much, creampie, unprotected sex, the power goes out and they want to fuck each ther so bad I’m sorry
❆ word count ⇢ 5.2k
❆ taglist ⇢  @atinywhore @ch0isa99ie @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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The snow crunched under your feet as you walked up to your parents' home.
Christmas had just passed—although both your mom and dad were out of the area, having the time of their lives in the warmth of another country. You envied them, but you were happy to be back in town after a rough breakup and a messy semester.
When you walked in the door with a bag of groceries and now covering your eyelashes, your little brother Wooyoung sat on the couch in the living room, star-shaped shades on his face and a shiny jacket over his bare chest.
“What….why are you dressed like that?” you inquired, shoving your snowy shoes off your feet.
He stared at you blankly. “Are you stupid?”
You scoffed, walking past him to put the bag of groceries away—groceries that were solely for baking cookies. A perfect way to spend the night.
He stood up and followed you in. “Y/n, it’s New Year's Eve. How else should I be dressed?”
You forgot about it. All of it. It already pained you that you were alone this new Year after spending four of them with the same man.
You shoved the bag of flour into the cabinet aggressively. “I don't know, not like a disco ball? That jacket is gonna get puked on and ruined.”
He looked over at you, noticing your distaste. “Are you…..is Soobin, you know, coming in for the holiday? He already missed Christmas.”
Soobin decided to dump you for reasons unknown. You believed it was because he was chasing his dream of becoming an idol, and he couldn't have a bunch of sexy baggage like you, so you let him lose you. 
But if that wasn't the case and he broke up for you for the hell of it, you would strangle that stupid hot boy and let him pay for his crime of losing the best he’s ever had.
Anyway…
“Oh, we broke up,” you shoved the stuff around in the cabinet, hoping to distract your brother from the horrible news. You didn't tell him the whole time you've been home. You've been avoiding it—it was already embarrassing to be dumped, more so around Christmas.
It did not, in fact, distract him.
“Holy fuck, really?” he leaned forward, intrigued. “Why? What did he do?”
“Oh, you know,” you bit the corner of your lip, trying not to look like you were lying straight through your teeth. “He’s chasing his dream. I broke up with him so he didn't have to struggle with the girlfriend baggage and all. He was so heartbroken….”
Woo blinked. 
“Oh, girl,” he offered a sincere smile. Well, as sincere as wooyoung could possibly get. “He dumped your ass, didn't he?”
You stared at him for a second. You couldn't get past him—he’s seen breakups way too many times with San by his side.
“Yep.”
You stood there in silence for a minute or two, trying your best not to reminisce on your relationship—even though you were over him. It wasn't even about Soobin; rather, it was the aching feeling of being someone’s number two. A career, an understandable priority, still felt like a slap in the face to you, as you were less important in his eyes. You can joke with yourself and others all you want—but you crave that feeling of being someone’s pride and joy. Someone’s only thought when the world is about to end.
“Welp,” Woo sighed, not knowing what to say. “I have to head out soon. I’m meeting up with San and Yeosang to head to the party.”
You sighed, leaning against the counter behind you. “Have fun.”
He pondered for a second, sticking his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “Wanna come with us?” he asked.
You shook your head, already not feeling like doing anything—especially anything involving…..San. “No, no, you go have fun,” you smiled at him as best as you could.
He nodded, but gave you a look of worry before he left the kitchen.
You followed him like a lost puppy as he tossed his shoes on in the doorway, struggling to bring his chucks over his heel—his frat shoes, as he likes to express. The shoes he doesn't mind puking on. You watched in enjoyment as he wrestled his shoes.
“I’ll be back later,” he ruffled your hair tenderly, but the grimace on his face felt like he wanted to tackle you—in a playful way, of course.
“Be safe—”
He shut the door with a smirk before you finished your sentence.
“A sudden storm will be rising upon us within the next hour or so, with wind gusts up to……”
You could hardly hear the TV from the kitchen as you blasted Christmas music, flour on every square inch of you. You were baking—your favorite hobby. It’s been a while since you were able to bake carefree, and now that you had an unlimited amount of free time, you were going to bake as much as you missed out on. 
As you shoved in another pan of cookies into the oven, you heard the door open and shut loudly, so loud that you were able to hear it over your music.
“Wooyoung, what the hell?” you grumbled, your back turned from the doorway as you fixed up the already baked cookies to cool. “Can you slam that shit any louder? And aren't you supposed to be at a party?”
Silence. No response. 
“I said, aren't you supposed to be—”
And when you turned around, it was most definitely not wooyoung in the kitchen doorway.
You dropped a cookie onto the floor. 
“Well,” San smirked, his grey hood covering his dark hair, his lips curled sexily, and his eyebrows raised. “Aren't you a beauty?”
You stood there in a flour-covered apron, flour-covered hair, face, and everything in between, looking at the man across the kitchen table.
“San,” you breathed, brushing your hands off on your apron and bending down quickly to pick up the dropped cookie. “What are you doing here? Wooyoung told me he was meeting up with you.”
“To see you, of course,” He purred, taking a step closer to you. He walked around the table to get to where you were standing, and not surprisingly, he lifted a finger to the corner of your lips and then continued to taste it on his own. 
You shivered in what you wished was disgust.
His eyes lit up as he tasted it, licking his lips. “Mmm. Chocolate?” he hummed, leaning against the counter next to you. He pulled down his hood to reveal his messy, silky black hair. “You've always been such a great baker.”
“You scoffed, turning back to the stove to check on your cooling cookies. “Why are you here?”
“You just asked me that.”
“Yeah, but you didn't answer correctly.”
“I’m here to see you, baby,” he leaned forward. 
You leaned back.
“Ha!” you laughed sarcastically, picking up your spatula to wield it like a weapon in his direction. When you met his gaze, you felt your stomach drop from his pretty smile and his sickening gaze. “Wooyoung isn't here, alright? So you better leave, or I will kick you out—”
“I’ll just wait here for him until he gets back.” San shrugged, stealing a cookie before running away from the kitchen.
You followed him into the living room, tracking your flouriness all over the place. “Can't you just go home? I don't understand why—”
He was standing in front of the TV as your voice trailed off. Apparently, there was a huge storm that no one saw coming. San watched intently as he snacked happily on the cookie as if finding out that there was a blizzard outside was the best news he’d ever heard.
“A blizzard?” you freaked out, running up to the screen right next to him. After watching for a few moments, you went to the window, looking out to see the roads completely covered and the wind blowing a dusting of white all over the place.
“Oh….I didn't see that coming,” San’s irritatingly attractive voice spoke from right behind you, and when you turned around, he stood with a sinister smile on his face.
“You should go, for real,” you sighed, looking up into his eyes before moving your gaze anxiously. “Before you can't.” 
He peered over your shoulder, letting out a puff of air. “I don't think I can drive back on the roads like this….” he sighed, tilting his head at you. “It's too dangerous.”
You blinked, trying your hardest not to cave into those lustrous cat-like eyes. He blinked at you now, his expression unreadable.
It's been ages since you saw this man—ages, and he still treats you as if you were best buddies all your life. In reality, you've never once liked the guy. His hair pissed you off, his crooked smile boiled your blood, and god, his ears? Why were they so cute? How can ears be cute? Don't get yourself started on his lips…..lips that you….may have kissed once or twice all those years ago.
He never talked about it, so you just ignored it.
And now that you were thinking about his lips, your eyes dropped down to them, and when you realized, you cleared your throat and brought your gaze back up to his eyes.
“If you stay, you have to act like you're not here,” you breathed, crossing your arms over your messy apron. He looked down—down at your cleavage and smirked. “Eyes up here, mister.”
He hesitated to move his gaze, and when he did, your stomach flipped once more—god, maybe you just needed to get laid. It's been ages since you had a good fuck….
No. what were you thinking? No. no, no. Stop it.
You took a second to gain your thoughts before speaking again. “Just… don't do anything until wooyoung gets here.”
He stood close to you, looking down with those seductive eyes, his smile blindingly attractive. He didn't even need to speak to make your knees weak—which was probably why you hated him so much.
He bent his head to get closer to you, that smile still on his face. 
“Can I speak, master?” he nearly moaned, biting the corner of his lip. “I feel like it would be unfortunate to remain silent during our….reuniting time.”
You let out a little chuckle. “What? Reuniting time?” you uncrossed your arms. “That's funny. We were never close enough to unite in the first place.”
“Oh, y/n,” he purred, reaching out to twirl a finger around your hair. You wanted to run away. Your mind told you to, but everything else craved him—as it always has. “I would say we united many times, haven't we?”
He looked like he wanted to grab you as tight as he could and swallow you whole—but the conflict in his eyes said no. you watched his eyes dance around you, how his hand froze mid-air within your hair, and his lips flat in a line.
And it took everything in you to move away from him. 
You took a step back, watching his eyes drop to your feet.
“You can stay,” you coughed, looking anywhere but him. “But don't…don’t bother me. Don't talk about….uniting, or reuniting, or whatever…..” you huffed, giving him one last look before running into the kitchen, only to find the cookies in the oven burnt to a crisp.
And once again, the cycle began. San’s enchantment was whirling around you, capturing everything in its wake. Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him.
And he will make sure you will never forget it.
San sat at the table, watching you intently as you made another batch of cookie dough.
“How’s school?” he asked you, his voice soft.
You shrugged, stirring the dough with your bare hand, as there was no mixer. “It's fine, same same.”
He nodded, his chin held up by his palm. You continued to mix the dough.
“How’s what's his name? Soo—Soomin? Soojin? Soo–”
“Soobin?” you asked, trying not to smile at his obvious distaste.
He nodded, a frown on his lips.
You didn't get to respond as your phone interrupted the conversation.
“Ugh,” you huffed, holding your dough-covered hands in the air, unable to get your phone in your pocket. “Can you…can you get my phone for me?”
San stood up. “Where is it?” 
You pointed to your back pocket. “There, in my pocket.”
When he got next to you, he hesitated on reaching to get it, but when you gave him the death stare, his gentle hand glided down your back, down your ass, and to your pocket. You froze at his touch and nearly missed the phone call from your mess of emotions. 
He answered the call for you and held it up to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Oh, thank god,” wooyoung breathed. “Don't go anywhere, alright?”
You scoffed, looking down at your dough-covered hands and your filthy clothes. “Ah, I wouldn't worry about me going anywhere. I’m definitely not fit for an outing.”
Wooyoung didn't laugh like his normal self. “For real, don't go anywhere. I won't be home for a good while because of the storm, so make sure you stay safe and warm.”
“Awe, I didn't know you cared so much about me,” you cooed, but when you saw San’s little smile at your words, you immediately swallowed hard, lost in thoughts you shouldn't be having while you're on the phone.
“Anyway, just be safe,” Woo sighed, taking a breath in. “I’ll be living off this shitty-ass beer and stale cookies. These sons of bitches are so cheap I swear—”
Without warning, the lights flickered slightly.
And then they went completely off, leaving you and San with no lights, no power, no anything.
“What the fuck—”
“For fucks sake,” San hissed, catching him off guard. Wooyoung, however, perked up the minute he heard a man.
“Who’s there with you? I heard a voice?”
“Oh, it’s just San,” you mumbled, looking up at him, where his eyes even sparkled in the dark. You forgot your train of thought for a moment. “He came here looking for you.”
“Yeah, right. That dude’s been obsessed with seeing you ever since he knew you were coming home. What a little pussy. He had to make up a lie to come over? Pfft—”
“Ah, oh no, looks like we lost service too—you’re breaking up—” San coughed, and after a moment of time for wooyoung to react, he hit the end button, tossing your phone onto the counter with haste.
You gave him a funny look as he tried to ignore your gaze. The room was extremely dark—not a single light source other than the little bluish glow from your home screen on your phone. 
You had no idea what to say to him; he didn't know what to say, either. You just stood in the dark kitchen, the oven at a standstill, and so were your feelings. He was looking down at his feet, trying his hardest not to look at you—although it was too dark to see you, anyway.
“Guess I’m done baking,” you hummed, giving him a slight look of curiosity before you took the cookies out of the cold oven. 
“Yeah, that won't work now,” he muttered quietly, very much unlike his usual dickhead way of speaking. He swallowed hard, too close to you. 
You stood strong right in front of him, your body telling you to grab him by the neck and kiss those gorgeous lips of his. Maybe you were just that desperate to feel something after your breakup—or maybe you always wanted San—either way, you were so close to giving in to your desire, but you pushed yourself away and took off your apron slowly.
“You never….you never answered my question earlier.”
You set the apron down on the counter next to your phone. It shut off now, leaving you in complete darkness, with San only a shadow in front of you.
You frowned, but you couldn't see the look on his face in front of you. “What question?”
“About how Soobin is?”
You scoffed, trying your best to look up into San’s eyes. You saw them sparkle slightly, and you stared into them. “So you do know his name.”
“I really don't care what his name is, y/n,” he grumbled, taking a step closer to you.
You smiled, knowing by the tone of his voice that he was aggravated. “Well, if you must know, I really don't know how he is.”
San grew quiet, but you heard him take a breath in. “what do you mean?”
“We broke up, so I wouldn't know how he is, alright?” you hissed at him, but only to get a reaction out of him—god, you didn't know what you’d do if what wooyoung said was true—that if San came here to see you, that he was waiting to see you for ages, that he’s irritated over the fact you’ve had a boyfriend—all of it would send you into a spiral. You always told yourself you'd need to be completely wasted to even think of San in a new light….but here in the dark, with his hot breath caressing your cheeks, you were ready to say fuck it to your facade. 
He didn't say anything for a while. He just stood there, his one hand leaning against the table to hold himself up. 
“You…broke up with him?” he hummed quietly.
“Mhm,” you nodded, tilting your head up to try and meet his gaze.
He swallowed, nodding. “Mmm. I see,” he smiled—at least it looked like he did. “Nice.”
“Nice?” you furrowed your brows.
“Well, I mean, I never liked the guy, so—”
“Why?”
“I don't know—”
“Yes, you do know,” you took a step even closer, causing him to catch his breath. “What’s the reason?”
He sighed, his breath dancing across your skin. “Well, like, two years ago or so, when we were out at the bar,” San took a second to form what he wanted to say, and you stood and looked up at him without a blink. “He got you a drink with Malibu in it.”
You blinked, confused. “So? I don't even remember that San, I don't know why you're bringing that up—”
“Because you hate coconut, y/n,” he interrupted you, his tone of voice exasperated. “And you hate going to bars—they stress you out. You didn't even finish the drink before he got you another and didn't even care to know what you liked…so I didn't like him.”
You stood there, mouth slightly dropped after his words. 
That was enough of a confession for you. 
“So….you didn't like him because he got me a coconut drink or….” you reached out, your fingers delicately draping over his that were resting on the table. He jumped slightly at your touch as if he was never expecting it. “Or because you could do better than him?”
San remained still as you let your fingers glide up his arm, feeling the softness of his hoodie that you wished to take off.
“....I think you know why I didn't like him….” He breathed.
You leaned forward in the dark, your gaze piercing right into his. Your hand met the base of his neck, sending shivers down his spine from the coldness of them. He let out a sound of pleasure at your touch, your other hand meeting his waist.
You didn't say anything else. You just wanted to fall into him, even with the consequences; it didn't matter what would happen tomorrow. He was breathing shallowly, his lips parted, begging you to kiss them as if he was waiting forever. 
And as if they knew the timing, the lights flickered back on, revealing a lovestruck San—his eyes hazy with desire and his expression out of a book.
His fingertips found their home on the side of your cheek, holding your face gently, carefully, as if you were glass.
You were less than an inch away from his lips, but before you pressed them to his, you stepped back, knowing that you were a filthy mess—you didn't want him to spend this time with you while you were embarrassingly messy.
“I….” you paused, pulling away from his hold. “I…need to shower,” you mumbled, giving him a look.
He blinked slowly. “A…shower?” 
“Yeah.”
With one last look at him, you saw the hesitation in his eyes. You walked past him, brushing up against him before you walked up the steps.
And before you got to the bathroom at the end of the hall, you heard his clunky footsteps make their way up the creaky stairs.
“Wait, hold on,” he huffed, grabbing your wrist to turn you around. “What was that?”
You looked at him innocently. “What was what?”
He furrowed his brows. “You know, that.”
You shrugged, fighting the smile that begged to arise. “What?”
He groaned, dropping your hand in a fit. “You were going to kiss me.”
You tilted your head, playing with him. “Was I?”
“Were you not?”
“I don't know.”
“Yes, you do know! You were literally about to kiss me—”
“And what if I was?” you whispered, your eyes slanted with mischief. He looked at you, his own expression changing from confusion to….well, more confusion. 
He bit his bottom lip. 
“Am I supposed to follow you into the shower?”
You smiled, letting him decide what you wanted him to do.
With a curt turn, you opened the bathroom door, leaving it open a crack, inviting him in.
You took off your messy top, covered in flour. You waited patiently, taking off your bra and your pants, and all that was left was your panties before he entered abruptly. 
“Listen, you can't leave that door open and not expect me to—oh,” he paused, his breath shaky. 
You stood unmovingly, facing him.
And with a slight scoff, he ran towards you. 
“Fuck it,” he huffed, slamming his body into yours, swallowing you with his whole being.
His lips caressed yours, biting your tongue, shoving his own into your mouth. You took in a sharp breath as he sucked on your soul, his hand finding your breast to squeeze it tightly.
“God, I’ve been waiting to do that forever,” he groaned against your mouth, his other hand playing with the hem of your underwear. With one quick motion, he pulled them down, falling onto your ankles as you stepped out of them.
You smiled into his kiss, tearing away at his hoodie before he pulled it over his head, leaving him shirtless and full of glory. You parted away from his lips, kissing down his chest, over his mounds of muscle, until your knees hit the floor.
He froze under your touch, your fingertips gliding over his hard-on. You grinned devilishly up at him, his expression in a mess of excitement and nervousness. Him? Nervous? Impossible.
You pulled down his pants as swiftly as you could, causing him to hiss sharply. He was fully on display for you now, his cock pulsing and ready for you. You grazed your fingers from his base to his tip; then you took it in your mouth without a warning.
He grunted, immediately gripping the hair on top of your head, tossing his own back with aggression. His little moans were music to your ears; not once did you ever believe you'd hear them—he looked so fuckable. So desirable. He always did, which explains why he was your first-ever kiss, why you always thought back to him when you were with Soobin, why you couldn't avoid his charms even though you so desperately tried.
He moaned your name—said it with such haste as if he couldn't hold back. As if he’s wanted this for ages. He leaned into your mouth, moving his hips slightly to push himself in deeper. You let out a gag, causing him to moan once more, making you smile against his cock.
You moved back and forth on him, no hands in sight. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes as you pressed your lips at the base of his dick, watching his eyes close tight and his chest heave.
“God fuck,” he huffed, his fingers tying knots in your hair, causing tears to build up behind your eyes. You liked it—loved it—his touch was ecstasy.
Without a minute to waste, San pulled you upward and off of him, just for him to press his lips to yours, reaching backward to turn the knob on the hot water.
You giggled against his lips as he almost fell. He smiled back, teeth clashing into yours as he pressed his bare skin to yours. You both stepped into the shower, not even caring that the water wasn't warm enough yet. 
His tongue slid down your throat, caressing the roof of your mouth, exploring the uncharted territory. Water spilled over your heads, dripping down your faces, drenching your hair. His hand gripped the back of your head as he slammed you into the wall of the shower, causing you to gasp.
He pulled away for a second, his eyes heavy, his lips parted as water dripped down his beautiful face. He pressed his forehead against yours—feeling as though this scene was all he’d ever wanted; it was premeditated—not a quick decision.
He blinked away the water, smiling before enveloping you in another kiss—this time, it was less lustful and more desperate. He breathed into your soul, his hands cradling your face with all the tender care he could muster. His breaths were shaky, and his hold on you was tight, as if there was somehow, someway, you would break away from his embrace.
You bit into his lip, your hands never finding a home as they explored all the planes of his body. He grunted as you reached for his dick, his eyes glimmering at your expression. No words were needed—he gave you one last look before flipping you around, shoving your face into the fall, and sticking his dick into your entrance. His lips were nibbling at your ear, his hot breath delicately stroking your body and soul.
He didn't push past your entrance just yet—no, but his fingers did. They glided over your clit from the back, your breasts aching from being pressed against the tile. He let out a little hum of a moan into your ear as his fingers entered you, two of them. You whimpered in delight, the movements turning you on more and more. You felt yourself getting wetter and wetter, his fingers curling up inside you, his shallow breaths echoing in your mind. 
You couldn't take it anymore—you needed him inside you, now.
“I need you in me,” you moaned against the tile, tilting your head slightly to see his expression. “Now, please. God, please.”
He smirked, moving you now to the far wall, your back still to him. You nearly slammed your head into the wall as he moved you.
“As you wish,” he breathed, his voice dripping with lust, with love, with unknown feelings. With a quick movement, he shoved his dick inside you, causing you to arch your back from the fill. You cried out, holding onto the wall as he gripped your hips, moving rhythmically and melodicly. You furrowed your brows in pleasure, muttering his name. “Oh, San,” you moaned, causing him to move even faster.
The water crashed onto you, making you feel even higher than ever were before. The heat of it was scolding now, but nothing beat how hot San made you feel—he was indeed a genius in the manner of lovemaking, a god, at that. You knew why, everyone knew why, but you didn't care at the moment. The only thing you cared about was his body on yours, in yours, all around you.
You were reaching your high, your vision hazy. You let out a cry, a huff, something to show that you were enjoying him, and he made a sound, too.
As you reached your climax, you arched your back even more, shoving your face against the wall, your forehead thumping against it with every thrust of his. You came on his dick then, your body fighting the urge to shake from the feeling he supplied you. 
He felt it—you knew it, as he quickened his pace, his breaths becoming more uneven as the time went on, your body tightening around him. He hissed sharply, thrusting with grace until he emptied himself into you, coating you, becoming one within you.
He collapsed into you, against the wall, his dick slipping out from you. He huffed, catching his breath as the bathroom filled with steam and sweat. You turned around in his embrace, his head falling onto your shoulder with a thud.
And then he started to laugh.
A laugh so beautiful, so….raw. You began to laugh with him, smiling as you grabbed his cheeks to lift up his head—so he could see you. 
His eyes were red, but they sparkled with so much emotion that you wondered how he was feeling. 
“So,” you smiled, watching the water from the showerhead drip over his black hair. “Happy New Year, I guess?”
He smiled—a smile that made you want to stop everything.
And then his eyes widened. “What time is it?”
You frowned. “I don't know, my phone is downstairs,” you whispered, locking eyes with him.
He paused for a moment, not knowing what to do, or at least that’s what you believed until he leaned forward and brushed his lips to yours ever so gently.
A kiss for a lover. A kiss more meaningful than sex could offer.
He pulled away, but only slightly, as his forehead rested against yours. “Happy New Year,” he kissed you again. “Just in case it is midnight. You haven't been my New Year’s kiss since years ago, you know.”
You didn't know what to say—you weren't sure where he was going with this, as you had never brought up your kiss with him before. He spoke cautiously, yet without caution at all.
“I….well,” you swallowed hard, looking up at him shyly. “You can be my….new years kiss every year, if you’d like.”
He smiled—grinned like a wild animal at your words.
“Well, if you don't mind, I’d like to kiss you more than once a year.” he grabbed you by the waist swiftly, smirking,
You giggled like you were experiencing this for the first time. In all honesty, you may be. No one has ever made you feel this way. You never wanted anything more.
With a flirty smile, you leaned forward into his embrace, the shower hissing in the background of your confessions. 
“I would love that.” you nodded, looking up into his eyes. 
He looked like a dream, his hair wet, his eyes bright. You couldn't wait to share more New Year's kisses with him, more showers, more cookies. You wanted everything and more—even if you didn't exactly know it quite just yet.
He was your everything—Your heart never belonged to you—no, it always belonged to him. And you will never forget it.
1K notes · View notes
mingigoo · 4 months
Text
Tattoo || seonghwa (m.)
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✰ pairing ⇢ idol! (fem) reader x idol! seonghwa
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✰ summary ⇢ After a long tour, seonghwa hurries back to you—but gets to the hotel room while you’re showering. When you step back into the room, seonghwa sees that brand new, huge spine tattoo you just got—and he just can’t take it anymore.
✰ genre/au ⇢ smut, fluff, idol au
✰ warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, unprotected sex, cum shot, seonghwa is whipped, also he definitely has a tattoo kink, hotel sex, secret relationship, this really has no plot its just kinda filth
✰ word count ⇢ 2.0k
✰ taglist ⇢ @atinywhore @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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You were desperate.
He curved his hips, arching his back, gripping the chair underneath him. Sweat dripped, his tongue danced, his eyes were shut tight.
He was god-like. You were ready to kneel for him as you watched his eyes darken, his hips snap—the curve of his muscle, his thin, delicate waist. He moved unlike anyone else, as if he were water, fluid—graceful. However, not graceful enough for you not to imagine swallowing him whole.
You couldn't take this anymore.
You shut your phone off, his half-naked body still on the screen before it went black. You tossed it aside on the huge California king bed and stood up straight.
With a sigh, you looked out towards the city. It was sparkling beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, shining like stars in the night. Everything reminded you of him. He’s been gone for ages, months; it was all too much. 
You went into the bathroom of the hotel room you were in, turning on the water, and opting for a cold shower. You desperately needed something to cool your thoughts down—you knew he was coming soon, but you needed to get a grip. 
You felt like a delusional fan—you were, slightly. Even being an idol yourself, you still crazed over your boyfriend as if he were just a figment of your imagination. 
You let the water hit your face as you tried to keep your thoughts in check.
After your shower of not-so-clean thoughts, you step back out into the cool air of the hotel room in only a towel, your bare feet flush against the plush carpet. With a quick movement, you went to find clothes in your bag, but you caught a glimpse of a certain black-haired boy on the bed.
His eyes light up, and he jumps off the bed as quickly as possible, tackling you into an embrace. You felt a swell of happiness fill you as he kissed you all over your face, your cheeks, your lips. It was as if he popped right out of your phone—but unlike his unkept stage look, his hair was neatly groomed, his face without makeup, his smile genuine.
“I missed you,” he whispered against your lips, his arms wrapped around your towel-covered waist. His lips met yours once more, a content sigh leaving his breath. 
“I missed you, too,” you smile at him, lifting a hand to rest on his cheek, feeling him lean into your touch. He looked so calm, so clean. But his eyes—oh, they showed exactly his true form. They were fierce, feline-like. He gazed at you with imperativeness, sexiness dripping off of him. 
His hair was begging to be messed up, begging to be gripped. His lips were parted in front of you, his white teeth bared slightly, and all you could think of was how sharp his hips snapped into the air—how you imagined yourself on top of him.
But you had something important to give him—a gift other than yourself. You got him a simple, small necklace with your initial on it. You knew it would cause a sort of commotion around the fandom, as fans would immediately point fingers and come up with ideas. The thought of it made you excited—even to see him wear it would mean the world to you.
You left his embrace despite his grip. “Oh, I have something for you,” you smiled, turning around to get to your bag. “I think you’ll like it. Let me just find it here—”
The air felt colder.
“....What…is that?” he swallowed hard.
“What?” you called over your shoulder as you rummaged through your bag.
He didn't say anything. No, he approached you slowly from behind, drawing a hand down your neck, meeting the top of your towel that was falling off by the second.
“This,” he hummed, in awe. His tone was soft, but his intentions felt sinister.
“Oh?” you smirked, dropping your towel slowly. “I got a tattoo while you were gone,” you whispered, facing away from him as his hot breath danced across your skin. You were about to ask if he liked it, but you could just tell by the way his hand trailed down your neck, down your spine, dancing across the ink that looked like a star falling, shining down your skin. And his hand met the small of your back, the base of your spine, and you shivered.
“Oh, god,” he growled.
“What?” you asked innocently, turning around in his grip, watching that stone-cold, sharp gaze he had on you meet yours. His eyes were sharp, making you think back to the videos of him once again, how he thrust his hips into the air, how you imagined yourself on top of him in the chair, how you wished you couldve licked the sweat off his pretty little face.
You grazed his cheek, trailing your hand down his shoulders, down his stomach—thinking of the way he looked in his stage clothes. He chewed on his lip, his breath hitching, his muscles tensing underneath the thin fabric of his shirt.
“Am I making you nervous, baby?” you hummed, your cold fingers gliding underneath his shirt, feeling him tighten under your touch. You haven't fucked for months, the only company being your own hand, and it was the same for him. You were naked in front of him, his eyes hungrier than you've ever seen them. “You know, I was just thinking about you in the shower, about how sexy you looked on stage….”
He just seethed through his teeth, smiling like an absolute maniac. 
“God, I need you. I..… I need you right now,” he let out a guttural sound, his hands gripping your bare hips, his eyes as dark as the night. “I can't wait any longer.”
Quickly, he pushed you up against the cold window; your back pressed up against it, your exposed chest against him. He tore your mouth apart, digesting you, eating you up, his teeth nibbling at your lips. You fumbled with the hem of his shirt, tugging on it, begging him to part for one second just for you to tear his shirt off. 
You managed to pull the shirt over his head, his muscles rippling against your cold touch. One of his hands found a home tangled in your wet hair, the other wrapping around your body, running down your spine. You shivered, feeling a mixture of pain and pleasure. It all blended together, and you tugged his jeans off as fast as you could.
His breaths quickened as you pulled down his underwear, leaving him exposed to you, his hard-on aching to be relieved by you. He looked at you with desperation; his lips parted as he breathed. You gave him a small smile as you spit on your hand, watching his eyebrows raise as you gripped his cock in your hand. You found pleasure in the way he tossed his head back, the way his veins popped in his neck, his face. How he bit down on his lip to keep him from crying out.
You move your hand in slow, mind-crushing patterns, slow enough to wind him up into insanity. He saw the smirk on your face, and a pained—sex-filled expression filled his own features. He gritted his teeth, baring them like an animal, before gripping your hair and turning you around, slamming your breasts into the cold glass. You let out a moan, giggling slightly. 
“Oh, how I missed your anger issues,” you breathed, your face pressed against the window. His hand met your heat, his fingers curling up into you. One slid through you, causing your breath to hitch.
He pressed his lips against your back, your spine, his tongue licking against the inked skin, gliding over the fallen stars. “Oh, fuck,” he mumbled, his breath tickling the back of your neck. You arched your back against him as he fucked you with his finger, sticking another one in with haste. “Never thought a tattoo would turn me on so bad,” he breathed, pressing another kiss against your skin. “You should get more.”
You let out a chuckle, but your thoughts were cut short as he curled his fingers inside you, letting out a sound that nearly made you cum on the spot. You believe that he felt the same, as he let out a similar sound, his fingers moving faster as his lips sucked on your neck like a damn vampire.
“I need you inside me,” you cried out, his fingers only making you want his dick even more. Your hot breath fogged up the window, your lips leaving streaks against the glass. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, and through the reflection of the window, you watched him suck on them, savoring your taste, closing his eyes tightly. 
“So…so hot,” his hand danced down your spine, his nails scratching your skin. You arched your back again; he let out a huff of air. “I fucking love your body. I love everything about you,” he moaned, the tip of his cock pressed against your entrance. You tilted your hips slightly, and he slowly entered you, as hard as a rock, feeling the ridges of you as he moved in and out slowly. You cried out, slamming your hands against the glass that overlooked the city. “I needed your body so bad. You have no idea how much I thought about this the whole tour…”
You moaned softly, his name on the tip of your tongue. “Did you jack off to me?” you moaned, tilting your head to the side, seeing the mess of his black hair all over his face, sticking to his skin. “Did you fuck yourself to me? Did you think about how I tasted?” you took in a sharp breath as your words clearly had an influence on him. He pushed in deeper into you, as if it were possible, and you cried out in pleasure. 
It's been so long—so long since you've felt his body move with yours, against yours, inside yours. You felt him pulse within you, your walls tightening against him as you reached your high. You came onto his dick, seeing stars and buildings and lights all around you. You felt like you were falling off the building, crashing. He let out a whimper, a moan, as he felt you tighten, and he pulled out as he came, emptying himself all over your back, on your tattoo. 
He breathed shakily, his cum dripping down your back, the wetness pooling at the base of your thighs. You couldn't breathe. You tried to inhale, but all you smelled was the sweet scent of sex, his sweat, his cologne. He was everything you needed, everything you thought of. He lived in your mind within every moment.
He stepped away to grab the towel you dropped earlier, and gently wiped away at your back. His eyes were trained on you, his breathing steadying.
You turned around, eyes meeting his. He looked beat, his eyelids heavy, his smile lazy. He looked at you like you were the best gift in the world, and his hands rested comfortably on your hips. “I missed you,” he said, again.
You flushed, as if you didn't just get railed over the city. “I know, you said that already.” You studied his face, how his eyebrows relaxed, how he was so content in your arms. You brushed away his sweaty hair, tucking it behind his ears.
“So,” he hummed, resting his head on top of yours, looking out to the city skyline. “Was the tattoo my gift?” he chuckled softly.
You let out a small laugh, smiling up at him. “I mean, no, it felt like more of a gift for me,” you thought back to how he reacted to it—just what you wanted. “But I’m glad you liked it. Makes me want to get them all over my body,” you dragged on, watching his eyes go wild.
With one look that could absolutely kill, he said,
“Don't tempt me with a good time.”
957 notes · View notes
mingigoo · 6 months
Note
1- Mingi
2- High school au
3- Prompts 12, 50, 53, and 56.
4- 18+ (some fluff but also rough?)
5- Reader is shy and a lil depressed while Mingi is one of the popular guys who everyone thinks doesn’t have any emotions but it’s actually a softie. (I love cliches what can I say). Can the genre be Strangers to lovers? Maybe he finds her crying in a classroom and that’s how they met. Also can there be a size kink and voice kink please?
Thank you!
nightmare, daydream || s.mg (m)
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📓pairing ⇢ tutor! (fem) reader x popular boy! Mingi
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📓 summary ⇢ in the quiet of the school’s art room during lunch time, Mingi accidentally interrupts your vulnerable moment. It was as if your usual invisible self was finally noticed. He intrigued you immensely, and as you are paired up to help tutor him, you find out that he’s much sweeter than he would like to lead on.
📓 genre/au ⇢ strangers to lovers au, high school au, slow burn, smut, angst, some fluff
📓 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, voice kink, slight hand link, size kink, slightly rough sex, teasing, mingi is a secret scaredy-cat, longing, high school lovers, probably more i'm just blanking so please let me know what I missed.
📓 word count ⇢ 11.1k
📓 taglist ⇢  @atinywhore @ch0isa99ie @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @leeknowsnothing @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
y/n and mingi’s moodboards
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The air was crisp as you breathed in, leaves crunching underneath your feet. 
It was still warm out—just between summer and fall. The leaves, however, were already falling, but some were still stuck on the branches like their lives depended on it. You envied their efforts, but yet, you knew they were going to fall just like the rest of them—it was inevitable. 
School had just started like any other year. You weren't exactly happy to go back, but at least it was your last. You wouldn't have to see the faces of your classmates ever again—you never got along with any of them, anyway.
The timing never seemed right. Your life had been a mess since you could remember, but it had just got worse a few days ago when you received the news of your father’s passing. He wasn't involved in your life; you forced yourself not to feel a thing about that man—but death was permanent, and you were terrified of it. If you cried about him, that would make you weak. But maybe, just maybe, bottling up these emotions was going to hurt you more than death ever could.
As you turned the corner to enter the school’s gates, a group of rambunctious boys pushed past you, laughing and carrying on and breaking the dress code. They never seemed to care if their ties were tied right, let alone tucking in their shirts. They always looked so messy to you; disorganized. It sent your hyperfocused mind into a spiral, but you shut it out and continued to make your way inside.
The hallway was bustling more than usual. 
You had a hard time with crowded places.
You pushed past some girls, who, as they always did, glared at you as you passed by. You were used to it, and your mother used to tell you it was because they were jealous. You knew that wasn't the case, rather, it was your backwardness that seemed to get on their nerves more than your beauty. 
You never understood your purpose. Somedays, you weren't even sure you were real. The world felt like it was crumbling around you non-stop, and you didn't know how to feel. You still don't know how to feel the things around you, as if your body didn't deserve it. Your soul didn't deserve it.
Like every other year, you sat down in the back of the classroom, away from those that actually mattered. Those seats should be for the ones that light up the room. 
Maybe it was your OCD, but if you weren't at least fifteen minutes early, you were late. And if you were late, you hated yourself even more than you already did. So, here you were, sitting in an empty classroom while the rest of your classmates carried on in the corridors and made out in the bathrooms—which was disgusting, by the way. Who would ever do that?
The silence felt….comfortable. It was only you and the slight hum of the wind through the open windows. You were too far away to feel it, but you imagined it soaring through your hair, dancing through you. 
But said silence ended after the popular crowd emptied into the room, girls trailing behind the boys like leeches craving blood.
You shivered.
The boys were popular for reasons. Two of them played basketball, the other baseball, and then….
And then there was him.
Mingi wasn't an athlete like his friends, although he had a body like one. You watched him walk into the room like he owned it, his jaw set tightly as his friends cackled about something. You remembered back in middle school when he was small and scrawny—and slightly shorter than you. Now, the boy grew into a man, his muscular frame taking up so much space that it almost suffocated you.
You never saw him smile despite his raging popularity. It was as if he was just….there. He didn't speak much, you noted. He had this aura about him that interested you beyond degree, but yet, you made no effort to dig deeper.
You couldn't help but watch him take his seat on the other side of the room, right next to the open window. He liked sitting by windows. It almost brought a curl to your lips, as his dreary-looking ass always was lit up by the sunlight. He reminded you more of the moon, but not at night. More so, the moon before the sun sets—barely there, but still noticeable. You, on the other hand, weren't even a star in his almost-night sky.
His silvery-grey hair nearly looked blonde in the sunlight, shining smoothly. He made you angry. Everything about him. But he never personally victimized you in any way. He just……never noticed you.
The rest of the class piled in as the warning bell rang, jumping into their seats but still talking to their friends. You remained quiet, your deskmate not even sparing a passing glance at you.
“Good morning, seniors,” the teacher, who you haven't seen before, smiled at everyone. “I bet you're all ecstatic to be back.”
A bunch of groans, complaints, etcetera erupted. You didn't say anything. Your deskmate already had his head down.
And then the teacher looked at you. Only for a second, but long enough. You were first in the class, which no one else seemed to know other than the faculty and staff. You would prefer it that way, but this year, you'll have a lot of attention on you. 
Your eyes traveled to Mingi once more, watching him look out the window with his chin in his hand. He wasn't paying attention one bit.
The classes came and went. Your head hurt by the end of the day, stuffing all the information you learned because that was all you had for the future. University was your only option, your only ‘dream’ if you could call it that.
Art class on the first day was pointless, but you never wanted to leave the room. It was the one thing that you enjoyed deeply. Painting was something you shared with your mother. Your favorite thing to paint was what you saw—little things around that made your heart feel something. 
When it was time to eat lunch, the rest of the kids ran out of the art room, groups of friends having fun together. You watched Mingi and his friends get up, one of them hanging onto his broad, broad shoulders like a jungle gym. His gaze never strayed from his path, even if you were in it. He moved out of the room like a big wave, current pulling everything out of the room except you.
Once everyone was gone, including the teacher, you walked over to the windowsill, seeing the little houseplant holding on to dear life. It was wilting despite getting sunlight. You stood over it, emotionless. Lips turned down, you reached out to touch its dying petals, causing one to fall to its death.
You sucked in a breath, your chest heavy. You've pushed all your emotions so far back that everything was bound to come up at once. You swallowed the lump in your throat, but it wouldn't budge. You felt the pressure behind your eyes while all your bottled-up issues came to the surface—your father’s death being the main event. You hated him for everything that he did, but he was still your father. He was….still something to you. 
You sank to the floor, embarrassed, overwhelmed. Your soul felt heavier than ever, as if it just wanted to break away and leave this godforsaken world. The tears trailed down your cheeks even though you tried so hard to hold them back. It was okay to cry, it was okay. It's normal. Cry it out, cry it out, you'll feel better—
“...oh,” a deep voice rumbled through your body, causing you to take in a sharp breath and look up. 
There he was, filling up the whole doorframe like a giant. You breathed in deeply, but the tears kept falling and falling. He stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked concerned, though, and it was at that moment, in the art room, that your invisible self became visible—at least to somebody. 
“I….I’m sorry, I just came to grab my jacket,” he mumbled softly, gently. It caught you off guard. His presence felt oddly comforting. The look on his pretty face made you want to cry even more.
You slowly nodded, and he hesitantly entered the dim room, cautiously making his way to his easel to grab his jacket. You watched him, sniffling, beyond embarrassed. He tried not to look at you, you noticed, and you assumed it was because you looked like an absolute weirdo crying on the floor, in an art room, on the first day of classes.
And when you thought he was going to leave, he stopped dead in the doorway, his big, muscular shoulders tightening.
And then he turned around.
“I can….I can stay, if you want,” he hummed, his deep voice rippling through you. You looked up into his serious gaze, furrowing your eyebrows. 
You wanted to ask him why. Why would someone like him spare a moment of his precious time to stay with a crying weird girl? Clearly, he was concerned; it was apparent on his face. It was just….so strange that he looked in your direction, especially at a time like this. 
In a moment of weakness, you slightly nodded your head, forcing a smile—which may have looked more like a grimace. He took your nod as an okay and sat on the windowsill, keeping his distance. You looked up at him, tears still falling, but he wasn't looking at you. He was sitting with contentment, arms crossed over his chest with that emotionless face he always sported. You watched his foot, how it anxiously tapped against the floor, and how he just….made his large presence feel small.
You opened your mouth, trying to justify yourself. You didn't even know each other like this—you never spoke more than a sentence to each other before. You felt like you needed to explain why you were crying because if you didn't, he probably would've thought of you as that weirdo everyone believed you were.
“You don't have to tell me why,” he spoke, biting his tongue to stop himself from saying more.
You blinked up at him as he spoke, feeling his tone rumble through you. You had nothing to say—and that was okay. You both sat in the quiet room for some time, way longer than you thought he would stay, until your tears dried. The bell rang soon after, and he stood up hesitantly.
He gave you a genuine look of worry—but not pity. 
“It’s okay to cry, you know,” he hummed at the door over his shoulder, tilting his head. “Don't be ashamed for feeling something.”
And then he left as if he were never there. The room felt even colder than it did before as if his presence warmed it. You smiled to yourself, his words hitting you deeply.
It was that moment when you declared that you were completely, irrevocably intrigued by him. He was all you thought about, all you noticed.
Like a daydream to your nightmare.
— 
You watched Mingi the next day in homeroom again. This time, the sun didn't dare peek through the curtains of the clouds as they cried.
He sat with his head down on the desk, his eyes closed in his effort to sleep. His eyebrows were scrunched as if he couldn't let his mind rest. You wanted to ease him, just like he eased you yesterday.
He looked so beautiful, even on a rainy day. You knew he didn't have an umbrella today, as his hair was damp. He also looked cold, which struck you by surprise. He was so….large…if you could put it that way. You might have been jumping to conclusions when you assumed he couldn't get cold because of the sheer size of his body, but maybe it was because he seemed so warm to you. Like a comforting hug.
Without warning, his sleepy eyes started to open slowly, meeting your gaze from across the loud, busy room. You didn't move your stare away—you just kept on admiring him without words, taking notice of how the crease between his eyes eased just by looking at you. You didn't smile or speak. Neither did he. He just sat there, his head down still, but his eyes sparkled like they always did. As his friends carried on around him, he kept quiet, watching you from a distance. 
The moment felt like forever, and when the first class began, He still kept his eyes on you.
That weekend, you ventured your way around on a mission to enjoy your favorite midnight snack. The convenience store on the corner always had the best selection of snacks, but tonight, you opted for just a banana milk. As you grabbed one, another large hand encased one next to you, startling you.
You looked to your right, Mingi standing there emotionless—but his eyes sparkled with mischief. 
“Banana milk, huh?” he tilted his head, his gaze analyzing you like a work of art. You wondered if he thought of you as one. “I thought you'd be more of a strawberry girl.”
You blinked, confused. He was talking to you like a normal human being. You furrowed your brows as you looked at him, filtering your response.
“I like strawberry, too,” you admitted, giving him a confused glance before making your way to the register. He followed, a decent distance away from you, his body nearly twice the size of yours. Surprisingly, once again, his presence was far from intimidating. 
He stepped in front of you as you went to pay, setting down his strawberry milk with yours. You were about to question his actions, but then he handed the worker money, paying for you without saying anything. You frowned but kept your mouth shut, knowing that he was just being kind. You did begin to worry if he did this out of pity.
You walked out of the store together, sitting down on the stoop outside. You sat shoulder to shoulder in silence, sipping on your milk comfortably. It has been a long time since you felt comfortable in silence with someone. It was nice.
You looked over at him as he stared straight ahead towards the road in front of you, his pretty, silver hair shining under the street lights. 
“What’s your name?” he hummed gently, genuinely. You tried your best not to be insulted, but you tried to look at it in his view—in a room filled with a bunch of others, you probably never caught his eye enough to reach his curiosity. 
You blinked at him, trying hard not to show any specific emotion. “y/n,” you stated, taking a sip of your banana milk. 
He nodded, looking forward. He muttered your name as if he was trying to engrave it into his mind.
“y/n,” he murmured, nodding. You tried so hard not to feel butterflies.
After a moment of silence, you sat and watched him, probably weird to anyone other than you. But you looked at him, saw how he scrunched his nose as he looked forward, how his plump lips parted as he breathed. You noticed everything he did and didn't do.
“You're different than I thought you were,” you spoke, still staring at him. He moved his gaze to you, looking down through his long, dark eyelashes. You admired his beauty, having no reason to hide it. 
He furrowed his eyebrows, still looking perfect. His expression lacked emotion, as if he had a hard time with it. “And how did you think I was?”
You shrugged, maintaining eye contact. You hated to hide your feelings, feeling as if it were pointless. He seemed like someone you could confide in, but maybe that was because you admired him for a long time. “I don't know, I just assumed you lacked a sense of humanity.”
He looked confused. “I…I don't get what you mean.”
“You were always so unreal to me,” you shrugged again, looking from his hair to his large hands holding onto the tiny milk. “Robotic-like.”
He nodded as if he agreed with you. You weren't the best at expressing yourself, but you had hoped he took your reasoning as a compliment.
More silence. You finished off your drink as he spoke once more.
“How are you?”
A simple question. A question usually asked without a care, just small talk. This time, however, he turned his body towards you, genuinely asking.
You looked away from him shyly. “I’m alright now,” you paused, refraining from saying more. “How are you?”
He sighed, looking forward. “I’m also alright. But I have detention tomorrow because I threw a basketball at some dickhead who thought it was okay to bully someone.”
You nearly smiled. 
“That's not fair,” you hummed softly. “You were standing up for them, and you get the shit end of the stick.” 
Mingi shrugged. “Violence still wasn't the answer,” he smiled, almost painfully. “I’m working on that.”
You admired him more than ever.
He stood up, towering over you. “I’ll see you at school, yeah?”
Your mind ran a mile a minute with everything you wanted to say to him. Yet, you kept your lips sealed and smiled.
“Yes,” you grinned. “I’ll see you, Mingi.”
“Miss y/n,” your homeroom teacher called for you as you walked down the hall, catching your attention. “Can I speak to you quickly?”
You nodded, knowing it was probably something to do with grades or planning some sort of event. You followed him into the empty classroom while he rummaged through some papers.
“I need you to tutor one of your classmates,” he spoke, still ruffling through a mess of papers until he found what he was looking for. “He requested you when I brought up the idea of getting tutored, so I hope you'll be interested. It’ll look great on your college application, of course.”
You furrowed your brows. “Who requested me? What’s the subject?”
“Uh…who was it…who was it—Ah, yes, Song Mingi. He’s struggling with chemistry.”
There you go again—as if it were fate. You were tangled with him once more, your mind circling back to him. You have never been involved with anyone to this degree, and the fact that Mingi requested you made it even more interesting.
“Okay,” you agreed. “I’ll do it.”
You walked out of the classroom, a smile nearly reaching your lips. Things were getting interesting—you were starting to feel like a real high school student and not just some fly on the wall that everyone tried to ignore—or swat at.
In the chemistry lab, Mingi sat his ginormous ass down next to you, letting out a sigh as he did it. You received a few weird looks from your classmates, who were probably wondering why the hell the popular Song Mingi was paying attention to the creepy art freak.
Or maybe you were thinking way too far into things.
“Hello, tutor,” he whispered deeply, tossing his notebook onto the table in front of you. He looked extra nice today—his hair was styled, so his forehead was showing. You took notice of the delicate birthmark on his cheek and how something so small made a huge impact on beauty.
You blinked at him, not an ounce of fear in your body. “Your face is pretty,” you spoke softly, admiring him. You didn't exactly mean to blurt that out, but hey, it was true. Why should you act like you didn't find him breathtaking? 
He looked taken aback by the random spew of admiration as if he’d never heard it before. His usually expressionless face brightened up, but only slightly. “You think I’m pretty?”
You nodded curtly, biting the corner of your lip. “Yeah, I’m sure everyone does.”
“Yes, but,” he rubbed his fingers against the spiral of his notebook, causing your attention to go to his long, gorgeous fingers. “Everyone else doesn't matter.”
You frowned, unsure what he meant by that. You didn't even have time to ask, anyway, as the teacher came in and started the lesson. Your eyes focused on his hands, his clean nails, his movements. He couldn't seem to stay still and had to move at least his fingers or his foot. It made you warm and fuzzy that such a big man had such human habits.
When you started the daily experiment, you bumped elbows with Mingi. He shied away, rather than you, and looked at you with a lost expression. You began to work together, but as your thoughts began to move to the idea of Mingi’s hands on you, all over you, you accidentally knocked over the beaker of chemicals. You shrieked back, bumping into Mingi’s chest, and as if it were a reflex, he held your shoulders tightly as if to protect you.
“What happened?” the teacher inquired, and you turned to her, Mingi still embracing you from his enormous height. It was then you realized how much smaller you were—your head only reaching his shoulder. 
You tried to form words, but nothing came out. Instead, mingi apologized. “I’m sorry, I accidentally caused y/n to knock over the beaker.”
The teacher looked irritated, but sighed in response. “All right, thank goodness it’s only Acetic Acid. Can you both please grab some cleaning materials in the janitor's closet down the hall? I cannot leave the room while administering chemicals.”
You looked up at Mingi, pulling yourself away from his grip awkwardly. You nodded, taking off your goggles before nearly running out of the room, Mingi following suit.
You reached the room, opening the small door as quickly as you could. You didn't know how close Mingi was, and when you felt his breath hit the top of your head, you tripped up, pulling him into the closet with you. 
You landed on top of his muscular body, feeling his warmth through your clothes. He let out a grunt right by your ear, creating a mess of dirty thoughts in your mind. You looked down at him, and when you saw that gorgeous, slight smirk on his pretty lips, you swallowed the lump in your throat. His smile was so beautiful—maybe because it was rare.
You were quite literally on top of the Song Mingi.
“Hi,” he mumbled softly, his eyes sparkling with mischief. 
“....hi,” you peeped out, suddenly aware of your breath and your weight. You didn't even get the chance to get off of him when the door suddenly shut, causing you to jump.
You looked at him one more time, watching his gaze drop to your mouth, before tossing yourself off of him to open the door—but it was locked, and you were stuck, all alone with the one man you thought about more than anyone.
“Is that….is that locked?” Mingi pushed himself up on his palms, looking so delicious it was eating you up from the inside. 
You tried to open the door over and over again, and after the millionth time, you sighed. “Yep.” 
And then he laughed—a deep, childlike rumble that tickled your brain. You looked at him with wide eyes as he stood up in the small closet, inches away from you. It was dully lit by the lightbulb above, orange hues drowning his strong features. You noticed little specks of gold in his eyes like he was carved by the gods, decorated with glamour. You wanted to reach out and glide a hand down his cheek just to feel his skin. He looked unreal in horrible closet lighting. You wondered what you looked like to him.
“What is it?” his deep voice rumbled, a questioning tone. “Do I…..make you nervous?”
He took a step closer to you, but you did not step back. You tilted your head up more, gazing straight into his intoxicating eyes.
“Maybe,” you admitted, biting the inside of your cheek. “Yes.” 
“Why?”
“Because you're attractive,” you admitted with ease, making him smile even more. You felt butterflies from his gaze, knowing that you were the cause of his grin. “You make a lot of people nervous.”
He looked conflicted—his hand twitched at his side, begging to touch you. The amount of chemistry flowing between you now was more than the amount spilled on the linoleum, and you felt the electric shock simmering through your soul.
He sighed, eyes dancing across your features.  “You're so…interesting,” he whispered, his hand finally breaking the bone-crushing lack of touch. His fingers delicately glided up your arm, but stayed there. You ached for them to move all over you.
You frowned, wondering what he meant. “In a good way?” you asked him, your voice small.
He didn't answer you—maybe he didn't know, either. Maybe his interest was something his brain could not comprehend, similar to how he captivated you. You were both vastly different—from different worlds. But yet….this feeling between you was undeniable.
His hand met your shoulder now, sending a chill down your spine. Why was he…why was he touching you on his own accord, why was he looking at you like that?
Your chest tightened, his expression unreadable. His breath tickled you, his cologne powerful. You closed your eyes on impulse, taking in this feeling, these senses, this ache in your chest that you have never felt before.
Before Mingi acted on his impulses, the door swung open, and you shoved him against the other wall, turning around quickly. 
“There you are. I was wondering if everything was okay,” the teacher huffed, calling you both out of the closet. You couldn't even remember walking back to the classroom, but you vividly remembered the feeling of his hands on you—and wondered about where else those fingers could go.
The next few days, Mingi sat with you at your lunch table—which was usually just you or someone else at the end who didn't have anything to do with you. It caused a lot of commotion; his friends were confused at the table across the room, and girls began to chit-chat while glaring.
You didn't mind; it was nothing. People were allowed to look and talk. It doesn't make you any less of a person.
Mingi rested his head on his palm across from you, flipping through his chemistry notebook aggressively. He didn't speak, he just made irritated noises. You smiled at him—probably the only person you ever showed this much emotion to.
“What are you confused about?” you asked him as you took a bite of your lunch, noticing that his tray was completely filled without a single bite taken.
He sighed, looking up at you for a second longer than a friend should've. He blinked, brushing away the hair that covered his eyes, before dropping his gaze back to the textbook.
“I just don't understand any of this,” he mumbled, his tone worrisome. You noticed his feelings more than your own—your heart ached to tell him that it’ll be okay. That he shouldn't worry. 
But you weren't anything to him—he just learned your name while you knew his everything.
You leaned forward, hearing the soft breaths leave his lips. You tried your best to read the backward words, succeeding after a long moment. 
“Ah, Ionic bonds?” you reiterated, meeting his gaze. He nodded, looking at you instead of his book. You ignored his intense stare. “Do you know the linkage?”
He just stared at you, his eyes twinkling. His expression lacked any sort of emotion, but somehow, you felt as if he was captivated—like an artist appreciating his artwork.
“Anyway,” you forced yourself to continue, holding in all of your questions for him. Why was he looking at you like that? Why did you feel a pull to him, a pull like no other? Like you were made just for him in this universe, similar to those oppositely charged ions being pulled together in electrovalence. You were an Ionic bond, two opposites, an undeniable tug, a match made in chemistry.
“Electrostatic attraction,” you gulped, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Despite the room being filled with people, you only saw each other. 
He looked down at your hands, which were quite literally fumbling over your chopsticks. “What?”
You cleared your throat, feeling jittery. You never felt jittery. No one made you feel this way—actually, nobody ever made you feel anything. This scared you but interested you more. “When two ions of opposite charges are attracted to each other. It creates an Ionic bond….”
“A bond?” he hummed, his fingers peeling back the textbook page, causing you to look down. You breathed in deep, composing yourself, but the deep ache to have him ruined everything you ever worked for—your beauty has always been your brain, but he made you feel like your outward appearance was also worthy. 
“Yes,” you nodded, pulling away from him to sit against the back of the seat. “Kind of like….opposites attract. You know, how people are attracted to those different than them?”
He stared at you, his cold gaze somehow warming you more than summer ever could. He may have looked like winter, but to you, he melted the ice off your stone-cold heart.
You looked at each other then, that chemistry sparking and spilling all over you. His lips were downturned in a frown, but oh, his eyes lit the fire inside your barren soul. The things you wanted to say to him ripped through you, desperate to reach the surface, but you held back as you were happy enough to get his attention.
“Why don't we…..why don't we skip next period?” he spoke, biting his lip slightly. You watched his eyes dance across your face, trying to figure you out. 
You never missed a class. You came to school on time. You followed every rule known to man. Everything you did was by the book. But now, oh…..everything you ever knew about yourself seemed to be dwindling over a cliff.
With a short nod, you watched his lips curl slightly, feeling proud that you were the cause once again.
It was raining as you both ran through the empty halls, drops dripping down the windows like they were racing to the finish line. His hand brushed against yours, sending a shock through your body. You wondered if he felt it, too.
“Do you have an umbrella?” he asked you as you reached the back door.
You shook your head.
He sighed, contemplating his impulses, you assumed. But you felt in control now, and with a quick motion, you gripped his hand, offering him a questionable look before pushing through the door.
You tumbled through the rain, drenching you as if you were in the ocean. He held onto your hand tightly as if he would drown without you. He let out a laugh, feeling like music to your ears. Without thinking, a smile reached your lips, your cheeks turned red as he pulled you through the rain.
You stopped underneath a small building’s overhead roof, both of you out of breath and soaked to the bone. He looked ethereal—his silver hair now dark like the night sky. His eyelashes were covered in raindrops, delicately taking rest on him. His skin was dewy, his smile brighter than anything you've ever seen before.
You felt the butterflies then—like you were in a movie. However, you haven't seen this film before. The air around you felt serene, the mist of the fallen raindrops splashing all around you. He was close, too close, if that was possible. Your body nearly went into flight or flight at his gaze, his intention. He felt like the rain to you, all around you, soaking into you. You didn't know how to not think of him this way.
“Your face,” he hummed in the small space, your shelter—It was him. “You're dripping wet,” he said, and with a twitch of his hand, his fingers gracefully slid across your cheek, catching the drops in their fall—but he couldn't catch you as you fell.
You swore your soul left your body as he touched you. It was like he was destined to touch you. It may seem silly, especially to your incredibly logical thought process, to be melting under someone’s fingertips. It seemed utterly shameful to your mind that you feel like a puddle as if he was the melting point and you were just….well, mush. It was because of your lack of experience, maybe, that everything he did was heightened.
“Ah,” you fought the urge to lean into his touch. Even after he wiped away the raindrops, his hand still cradled your cheek, his eyebrows knotted in confusion. 
So you reached up, pressing your pointer finger between his brows. You eased his thoughts, resting his expression. “Don't do that,” you blinked up at him, watching his eyes widen at your touch. “You look prettier when you smile.”
He fought off his smile, but you still saw it. “Don't say that.” 
He did smile after he spoke this time, as if he couldn't hold it away.
When he smiled, you felt like you ruled the world.
“Why?”
His touch felt warm against your cold cheek.
“Because,” his eyes—oh, you loved them. They were so expressive, they made up for his lack of emotion. They spoke a million words, like a window into his hidden soul. “You'll confuse me.”
“I don't mean to confuse you, Mingi.” When you spoke his name, you could've sworn he sucked in a breath. “But think I’m a pretty straightforward person.”
He scoffed slightly, looking at his own hand and how it fit perfectly to your face. “You're so oblivious for someone who’s our valedictorian.”
You blinked quickly, the sound of the rain encapsulating the air around you. You were hyperaware of everything—his breaths, the beauty mark on his cheek, his hand on yours. His height, god, it stirred your guts around in more ways than one. 
The moment felt like forever. You stood there, trying to catch your breath, but he kept taking it away. It took you back to the day he saw you in the art studio, how he kept his distance but filled the room with so much care without speaking—he made you feel something no one ever will accomplish. 
When you arrived back at the school, you ended up in detention together, huge grins on both of your faces as you sat across from one another. When he smiled, your whole body tingled, and when he looked at you, you became his.
As the days move on, the leaves rot on the ground you walk on. You loved October. You belonged to the season. Your soul only lived during the death of summer.
Mingi, once again, followed you like a lost puppy. He sat next to you at lunch, not across from you, and just….sat contently. You both didn't speak. He watched you eat, watched you breathe. If he were anyone else, they would've been six feet down.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked, his body turned to you. 
You shrugged, looking over at him. You met his gaze, feeling those shocks once more. “Probably just studying for the chemistry exam.”
He nodded, sniffling. You frowned at him, now tilting yourself to face him. “Are you getting sick?” you asked him, unsure if you looked concerned or irritated.
He let a small smile reach his emotionless lips. “I don't know yet, it may be my allergies.”
You curtly nodded your head, and then you turned back to your food. He held his head up by his hand, staring at you, his eyes conflicted. You tried so hard not to turn towards him and kiss his lips. You weren't too sure how he would take that.
After another couple of moments of silence, he spoke again. “Do you want to come over tonight? To study, of course,” he interjected, which led your dirty, inexperienced mind into a fit of thoughts.
Were his parents going to be home? What was he planning on doing to you? Did he…did he have an ulterior motive?
Mingi broke you out of your thoughts. “I mean, if you don't feel comfortable, we can meet somewhere else—”
“No,” you cleared your throat, gripping your chopsticks tighter. “I mean, I would love to come over.”
His eyes twinkled as you met them, like shooting stars falling from the sky. He probably didn't realize that they did it, as his face didn't show any other hint of excitement.
“Okay, nice,” he said blandly, but once again, his eyes said otherwise. You dared to smile, causing him to smile back.
The sunlight danced across his honey skin through the blinds, and you just sat there, admiring him, dreaming about not-so-PG thoughts. 
Later on in the evening, you stood in your best efforts of an “effortless” look, anxiously looking at Mingi’s monstrous home. You assumed he was rich, but not this rich. 
The home was glorious, a mansion, if you will. You couldn't even count the windows before you started to feel the pit of your stomach growing bigger and bigger. You swallowed hard, adjusting your bag on your shoulder before pushing past the gates of the entrance. 
It took you a solid minute to knock on his door, which was probably bigger than your room alone. He took a while to answer, causing you even more anxiety. What if a goddamn maid opened the door? God, you'd book it so far that he’d never find you again—
“Y/n,” he hummed breathlessly as he opened the door, his hair dripping wet and his whole torso completely unclothed. Your eyes traveled without permission, noticing the droplets of water that dared to drip down his defined abs….down onto the edge of the towel that just barely covered his hips. You held back your animalistic cravings as you noticed his v-line, swallowing hard. “You’re early.”
You did not move your gaze—you continued to eyeball him without shame. He didn't seem to mind. “Oh, yeah, sorry. Should I leave?” you blinked, eyes rolling up from below to his gaze. He almost looked embarrassed, but there was something sinister in his emotional eyes.
He paused, noticing how you were looking at him. He swallowed hard, too, opening the door wider to let you in. “No…just….come in. Let me go put…..clothes on.”
You nearly smiled at his embarrassment. You followed him in, in awe of his broad shoulders and smooth skin, to the curve of his sides. You felt like an animal in heat.
You looked around the home, feeling….empty. There were no pictures on the walls, no mirrors. Not an ounce of an existence of family, or color, or comfort. It was cold—Void of emotion.
You sat on the couch in one of the living rooms, the ceilings a million feet high. The TV rested on the wall in front of you, bigger than your home. You didn't see anyone, or hear anyone other than Mingi. It felt lonely—yet you were only there for a minute or two.
When he came back into the room, fully dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweats, you wondered how on earth that shirt drowned him. Maybe if you put it on, it would probably end below your knees.
“Sorry, sorry,” he let out a small anxious chuckle. He stood in front of you, causing you to strain your neck and look up at him. “Should we study here or….?”
Some part of you wished that you weren't here to study. It was something about the feeling between you….it was burning red, fiery, and you craved to dive into its flames.
“It doesn't matter,” you shrugged. “Wherever you want, really.”
His presence is intoxicating. Your mind wanders to his gentle expression, to the water dripping down his head, and you begin to question your sanity. The range of emotions you feel for him was alarming—especially for you.
You follow him into the kitchen and set your bag down on the island. He stands and stares, similarly to how you were observing him earlier. 
As you tried to tutor him about chemicals and such, you looked up at him occasionally, only to find him looking at you.
“What?” you asked him softly, meeting his gaze. “Is there something you're confused about?”
He stared at you intently, his lips downturned. “Yes,” he admitted, biting the inside of his cheek.
“What is it? Is it about—”
“You,” he blinked, fiddling with his fingers. “I…you confuse me.”
Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening at his words. “How do I confuse you?”
“You just…” he sighed, setting down his pencil. “I never know what you're thinking, I guess.”
“Ditto,” you shrugged, keeping the eye-contact.
Silence. You just stared at each other, almost desperately, as you tried to understand what exactly was burning between you.
He sighed, breaking the eye contact by looking down at his textbook. “Let’s just….” he swallowed hard, shutting his book with a forced smile. “Let’s study another time. How about we watch a movie?”
You met his gaze, feeling the air burn around you. His expression was indescribable—something you've never encountered before. You nodded, nonetheless, and when he stood up abruptly, you followed him like a lost puppy through his house, which was far from a home.
“Why are you alone?” you asked from behind, watching his large body move with such grace. 
He didn't look back as he responded. “My parents live in Seoul,” he hummed. “I’ve been alone.”
You felt a chill roll down your spine as his cold words echoed through you. He seemed to have bad blood with them, whoever they are, and your flighty personality has you wanting to seek them out to tell them how horrible it is to leave their child behind.
As you walked into the vast, empty living room, you stopped in your tracks.
“It must be lonely,” you murmured, to which he paused for a second. 
He let out a small laugh—a forced laugh—like he needed to pretend to be okay. You wished for the day he didn't need to pretend.
He sat down on the sectional, his long legs sprawling out. You looked at him before sitting down next to him, a reasonable distance away. He looked over at you, his eyes conflicted.
“What…. what's your favorite kind of movie?” He asked you.
You hesitated. You were concerned about what he would think about your opinion. 
“Horror,” you admitted, watching his eyes widen.
“Horror?” he reiterated, his expression grim. 
It was almost too cute. You nearly blushed.
You smirked, sliding in a bit closer to him. “What? Are you scared? I thought you were a big, tough guy.”
“..fine, ahem,” he cleared his throat, running a hand through that silvery hair of his. “I’ll put a horror movie on….since you like them.”
As the movie played, you sat next to each other, still a suffocating amount of space between you. You looked over at him, his expression wary, his hands balled up as if he were terrified. 
You scooted over closer to him, hearing his breath hitch. You weren't sure if it was because of you moving closer or because of the jumpscare on the TV. you leaned in slightly, whispering into his ear. “Are you scared, Mingi?” you giggled, causing him to jump.
“Fuck, he hissed, his eyes frazzled. He quickly tried to calm himself down, and he put a silly little smile on his face. “No, I just don't like getting jump scared, is all.”
You smiled at him, the distance now only inches. You watched how his Adam’s apple bobbed anxiously as the space between you two shrank and how his eyes lingered on your lips. You wanted him to reach out and press them to yours, like how it almost happened in the supply closet. You wanted to feel everything he could make you feel—more than you already felt.
As the movie went on, the loud, atrocious noises filled the space, but all you saw was him. The room was dark, and his features were highlighted by the small source of light coming from the television. You watched his eyes glimmer through the darkness as they landed on you, and you heard his breaths quicken.
And in that moment, you had enough.
You slowly reached out to him, your fingertips meeting the softness of his cheek. He frowned in confusion, but his eyes spoke more words than he’d ever said before.
“What are you doing?” he whispered.
“I….” you swallowed hard, bringing up your other hand to cradle his face gently. “I just want to feel something. I….I want you to feel it, too.”
Your eyes meet his lips; his eyes do the same. You've never been this close to anyone….and he felt just right. Everything about him caused you to ache. To ache for his touch, his attention. You craved every part of him, even before he knew your name.
He shined in the sunlight, even when it rained. 
And with that look in his eye—that deep, desired look—you slowly pressed your lips to his unmoving ones, and after a moment, he kissed back with such passion you could swear you saw stars.
His hands held the back of your head, his lips parting yours. He let out a shaky breath as you kissed, and your hands trailed down to his chest. Something about this sparked something inside you, ignited a flame that was destined to burn for a lifetime. He parted your lips open, his tongue infiltrating your mouth smoothly. You let out a moan, causing him to deepen the simple kiss into something much more…sinister.
“Do you feel something now?” he hummed against your lips desperately. His hands gripped your jaw, the tips of his fingers tangling into the hairs at the base of your ears. “Please tell me that I make you feel something.”
“You do,” you mumbled breathlessly, your hand gliding up his cheek. He leaned into your touch as if he were deprived of it. Maybe he was. Maybe he wanted to kiss you like this for a while, to touch you like this for a while. Maybe, just like you, he ached to feel something, too. “God, Mingi, only you can make me feel this way.”
You looked at each other in between kisses. His eyes were lustful, yet, they looked like they could tear up any moment. You didn't know what you looked like to him, so you leaned in again, delicately pressing your lips to his. He wrapped his arms around you, his forehead pressing against yours as he kissed you more and more and more. 
He pulled back ever so slowly; his eyebrows knit together, his brown irises dead center on your eyes. He spoke a million words without ever opening his mouth or even parting his lips. You smiled at him, feeling more like yourself than you've ever felt before. 
He lit up your soul.
His eyes asked you kindly. You agreed with a soft nod, and then he whisked you away into bliss. 
He carried you with grace through the dark hall, dropping you on his bed. Your back hits the cold duvet, sending chills down your spine. For a moment, he just gazes down at you, the only source of light being the floor lamp in the corner of the room. His expression was one you understood for once—he was full of emotion, and he made you feel safe.
He sucked in a breath, and you watched intently as he lifted his shirt slowly over his head. He was nervous—obviously nervous, and you wondered why such a big, strong, stone-like man would be scared of something like this. You were confident he’d done this before—he had to have. 
“I won't bite you,” you breathed, looking up at him with your soulful eyes. However, your innocence only went so far here. You've been watching him for ages, trying not to feel this…whatever this was. A mix of love, lust, longing, belonging….and he finally saw you. 
You were going to eat him up if he let you, of course.
He let out a shaky laugh, standing there so delicately powerful. His muscles rose and fell in the shadows of the dark, his skin looking ever so soft. You sat up on the bed, reaching out to him. You gripped his waistband, pulling him into you. He breathed in as your fingertips touched the bare skin of his waist, and he held his breath as you pushed past that waistband….down his underwear, to find…
Holy fucking shit. 
That’s literally going to obliterate your insides.
You must've looked shocked because he suddenly pulled himself away from you. “W-what? Is something wrong?”
You blinked up at him, tilting your head. You couldn't help but let out a laugh, to which he looked even more confused.
He looked distressed, so you stood up from the bed and walked up to him. He towered over you more than you've ever realized. You stood there in front of him for a moment that seemed to last forever, his eyes frantically searching for your explanation.
“Is something wrong with it—”
“Mingi,” you breathed, basically moaned, his name as you fiddled at the hem of your shirt. He watched your hand, gulping. “You may just kill me with that.”
You flung your shirt across the room, and your hands then danced at your waist to undo your pants. 
He frowned, confused. “Kill you? How—”
Your pants dropped to the ground, and you kicked them aside. You were left in your underwear—a pretty pink set you've kept in your drawer for ages for a moment like this. You completely got him starstruck.
You watched his mouth part as he stared at your body. “What…uh,” he swallowed hard, running a hand through his hair. “I…” You stepped closer to him, gliding your hand to hold his cheek; he shut his eyes and leaned into your touch, taking a deep breath. 
You leaned forward, on the tips of your toes. “Are you going to take the rest off, or am I gonna have to do it for you, scaredy cat?” you teased, pressing a kiss to his neck. He shivered, his hands instinctively gripping onto your hips.
His eyes were lustful, his gaze ripping right through you like a knife would tear a heart. It was as if you offended him, and he grit his teeth as he slid your bra right over your head with one hand.
You smirked, your hands running up the sides of his face to run through his gorgeous hair. You found pleasure in his reactions—the way he savored his feelings as he closed his eyes.
“Is this your first time?” he whispered weakly as your lips found a home under his jaw. “Because I have a feeling it isn't—”
“And if it is?” you interrupted him, still creating your mark on his neck. “Will you not fuck me?”
“Oh, dear god,” he huffed, letting out a groan. He shoved you onto the bed, your back once again hitting the covers. This time, it felt even colder. “Where the hell did you get that mouth of yours?”
You tried to breathe, but you no longer remembered how to. “Why, do you not like it?”
He didn't answer you with words. Instead, he unbuttoned his pants, his hard-on begging to break through his underwear. You laid there, your breasts on full display for him, and your stomach tightened as you saw his dick after he took everything off.
“Oh….” you gulped, raising your eyebrows in hopes that he didn't see your worry. You've never had sex, only with your own fingers, and as you looked down at his massive cock, there was no way in hell that was fitting inside you.
In fact, it turned you on just thinking about how…big he was. How he stood with confidence, turning red, his body physically showing his attraction to you, blood pumping, sweat pooling to the surface of his skin.
His size….you've always been obsessed with his size—it surrounded your every thought. This was the cherry on top of your fantasies.
He knelt over you, his body warmth making you even hotter. You felt his erection press against your thigh, and you shamelessly moaned, meeting his flaming gaze.
“By kill, I mean,” you breathed in, pausing. “I mean, that dick of yours is like a goddamn weapon.”
His face was right over yours, and you watched a sinister smile fill his features. “Is that so?” he whispered, dipping his head to kiss your lips. You moaned into the kiss, biting his bottom lip as he pulled back.
“Mhm,” you whimpered as his dick pressed against your panties, and you ached for him to take them off. He was too captivated by your breasts to even think about the fact that they were still on. You looked down at his hands, and oh, they just completely encapsulated you, mind and body, body and soul. You wished for him to suck the living life out of you, to choke you until you saw whatever was beyond this life, if there was anything. His hands alone caused you to daydream about them bringing death to you and being pleasured by the hands of death. They were so large, so soft, so gentle. You wanted him to manhandle you, to tear you apart, to rip your heart in two and then sew it back together. Your mind was just rambling on now, but one thing was for sure.
You were in love with him.
“Mingi,” you whispered, wrapping your hand around his arm that worshiped your breasts. His eyes met yours, madly, desperately. “Take every part of me.”
He wasn't sure how to respond, and you knew it. He did, however, understand your request, and he kissed you from your breastbone to the mounds of skin, down your stomach, finally reaching where he needed to be. He kissed you there, right there, and you felt his hot breath radiate through the thin fabric. It was gone before you knew it, and he lined himself up on top of you, his chest heaving from breathlessness and desire.
His silvery-grey hair nearly looked black in the moonlight, shining smoothly. He made you happy, everything about him.
“Tell me if it hurts,” he spoke against your lips, the tip of his dick pressing against your entrance. You closed your eyes tightly as his thick cock slid into you. 
“I like the pain,” you said.
Your eyes watered, but the sound of his pleasure made everything better. Truthfully, you discovered something about yourself that you never knew. You loved that he was big. You loved how his cock still had length outside of you, even as he stuck himself fully in. You watched as he moved in, moved out, how his hips bucked against yours, and how he held you underneath him, tenderly, like he was afraid to shatter you like glass. You were his throne, his home, and he was your everything.
“Ah,” you hissed; this never felt before feeling tingling your insides, your stomach filling up with his length. You gripped onto his shoulder blades, tearing into his skin as he sped up. He seemed to like how you inflicted pain, and you continued to pierce his skin, carving your mark like writing initials into tree bark. 
It was bliss, your first time. The feeling of him pumping into you was addictive—you were sure you were going to want this every day for the rest of your life. You arched your back into him, wrapping your legs around him as you felt yourself reach your climax. You've never felt one before, and it was intoxicating. His breaths quickened along with his movements, and his hips rocked back and forth slightly, hitting new spots for your body to learn. He was your tutor, your teacher. Your daydream and your nightmare. You revolved around him as if he were your sun and you were his moon.
His expression changed as he looked at you—eye contact and all. You've never felt so intimate with someone your entire life, and strangely enough, despite your usual ignorance of emotions, you wanted to bask in this feeling forever. To gaze into his eyes forever. Maybe it was your youth; maybe it was your first life. 
“You're so beautiful,” he praised, his face contorted in pleasure. His tone of voice sent ripples through your body—it was deep, raspy. It rumbled through you, all around you. You loved his voice. You loved it so much that you wanted him to speak more and more and more.
“Say that again,” you moaned, sweat dripping down your temple as the top of your head hit the headboard. “Please.”
“You,” he breathed, lifting one of your legs up to burrow in you deeper— as if it were possible with the size of his dick. He hit a new spot, causing you to toss in his embrace, begging for more. “...You are beautiful.”
“God fuck, Mingi,” you quite literally snarled, gripping his shoulders to switch positions, you now sitting right on top of him. You looked down on him, finding gratification in his sexily fatigued expression. His eyes were barely open, his chest heaving, his hands gripping the sheets. “I love the sound of your fucking voice.”
And with that, you began to ride him, watching his features twist with such interesting emotions you've never seen before. When he began to breathe quicker and quicker, you watched how his eyes widened, how his big, veiny but gentle hands came up to fist your hair. You cried out, eyes watering, pain sparking down your neck—but you loved it. 
He grabbed you by the hair and shoved you onto your stomach, face full of pillow and the sweet smell of Mingi’s hair wash. You closed your eyes as he re-entered you, his hands putting pressure on the small of your back.
And as he let out a deep, bone-crushing moan, you squeezed your thighs together tightly. He pulled out quickly, and came on your back, painting himself all over you.
The only sound through the silence was the huffing of your breaths, your face flushed, hidden from him. He let out a slight, rumbly laugh—music to your ears.
“I’ll go grab a towel,” he spoke softly, his fingertips dancing down the side of your waist as if he were appreciating your structure. 
He cleaned you up with such softness as if this weren't the man that was just fisting your hair and slamming his dick into you. You lay in his bed, naked, your stomach aching, your legs weak. 
He laid next to you, his shower he had just taken before this turned utterly pointless, his body covered in sweat. His hair stuck to his forehead, and you reached out, brushing it up. You smiled at him as he stared at you with fascination.
And then, in the comfort of his embrace, you fell asleep, dreaming of him.
When you awoke in the morning, he was no longer there.
Your youthful mind didn't jump to conclusions—you slowly rolled out of his California king and picked up his huge t-shirt, tossing it on without anything else. It drowned you, down to your knees like you expected, and you giggled in bliss. It smelled like him.
When you stepped into the kitchen, you saw a cup of steaming coffee on the island. Mingi was facing away from you, the back of his head messy, silver hair standing up everywhere.
“Good morning,” you mumbled, standing awkwardly in the doorframe. He quickly turned around, a goofy smile plastered on his face. 
You felt the rush of blood reach the tips of your ears.
He inspected your outfit—or his outfit—and that goofy smile widened even more. “My shirt, huh?”
You wrapped your arms around your body. “It was the first thing I picked up.”
“I like it,” he smirked, walking over to you, his arms taking the place of yours. “I love it, actually.”
You embraced him, feeling finally happy. “You're a lot more colorful than usual,” you acknowledged, feeling his heartbeat through his chest. 
“You must've painted me in a new light,” he hummed, resting his head on the top of yours. 
You tried to escape his embrace, but he tightened it, shaking his head. “You're not leaving me.”
You giggled, trying to playfully push him away. “Mingi, what time is it?”
He paused. “Uh….”
You pulled back, looking into his eyes. Your own eyes widened.
“School, oh my god, we forgot about school!”
You held Mingi’s large hand as you sprinted down the road to your school. After a pit stop at your home for your uniform and a blissful moment of a makeout outside the door, you barreled as fast as you could, knowing you were gonna get punished. Even so, you laughed the whole way, and when your tardiness landed you in detention, you couldn't of been happier to end up in a room with Mingi.
The teacher left the room for a moment, and as the door shut, Mingi launched out of his seat and attacked you with his lips, his hands in your hair, his teeth clashing with yours as he smiled as wide as ever.
The next day, you watched him sit in the sunlight in homeroom, noticing his hair shine—the same head of hair you ran through as he made love to you a few nights before.
He liked sitting by windows. It brought a curl to your lips, as his dreary-looking ass always was lit up by the sunlight. 
He was the moon during the day, right before the sun sets. And you, well, you were finally a star in his almost-night sky.
Winter break was approaching. Students were talking. You didn't care, and neither did he. In fact, he made it painfully obvious, sitting next to you with every chance he got, touching you as much as he could, smiling so wide it was unlike his usual persona.
The question dwindled over your head. Many people asked you, talked to you, and inquired about your relationship with him. You didn't exactly know what to tell them—you never actually labeled whatever this was. Whatever it was, it didn't matter to you, as it just mattered that you were blissfully happy for however long it may last. You were going to enjoy this time you had with him, knowing that college was approaching.
“Y/n!” a loud voice boomed through the study hall class, a few students turning their heads in confusion. You met eyes with Yunho, one of Mingi’s best friends. You frowned, confused as to why he was calling for you. There was no teacher as the class didn't start yet, so you weren't too alarmed.
“What?” you asked him.
He took a sharp breath in, hands on his knees like he ran a marathon. “It’s Mingi—he got hurt on his way to school—”
You stood up quickly, eyes wide. “What? Where is he?”
“In the nurses—”
You didn't even give him a chance to finish his sentence. You ran down the hall, even though class was about to start. 
You let out a loud breath when you reached the nurse’s office. “Mingi? Are you okay—”
With a tight grip on your wrist, he tugged you into the office, slamming the door behind you.
He stood there, perfectly fine, with a boyish smile on his face.
You hit his chest. “What the hell? I thought you were hurt?”
He giggled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. “Mmh. No, I just wanted to do this.” he kissed you again, his hands tilting your chin up with such tenderness. 
You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his waist. “You're such a sneak.” 
“Do you want me to kiss you in front of everyone?” he teased, pecking your nose and then your lips. “Because I will.”
You chuckled, kissing him more. “It’ll  probably clear up all the rumors about us,” you shrugged, ruffling his hair as you kissed him again.
“People are so nosy,” he mumbled. “Can't two people date in peace?” 
You pulled back in his embrace, a glimmer of mischief in your gaze. “Oh?” you tilted your head, and as he went in for another kiss, you pressed a finger to his lips. “Were dating, huh?”
He blinked as if you said something completely insane. “Huh?” he furrowed his brows. “Haven't we been dating?”
You smirked, teasing him. “Since when?”
He scoffed, but still held onto you. “Uh, since I literally fucked the living shit out of you?”
You laughed at his vulgarity, pressing your lips to his in a long, sensual kiss. “So were dating now?”
“I thought you knew that.”
“How would I know that if you never said it?”
“Because you're the fucking valedictorian, y/n.”
You stared at his confused face, smiling wider than you've ever smiled. “Okay,” you nodded, watching his eyes sparkle down at you. “Boyfriend.”
“Girlfriend,” he giggled like a child, grabbing both your cheeks and kissing you over and over again. “My girlfriend.”
You never saw yourself as cheesy and didn't see him as the cheesy kind, either. But there you were, in each other's arms in the run-down, empty nurses office, blissfully unaware of how the future will work out for you. But now was the time, not then, not when. It was now, and now you loved him. 
You were his tutor, his happiness, his light, even if you never thought you could ever brighten up someone’s life. 
It was this moment— you declared that you were utterly, irrevocably in love with him. He was all you thought about, all you noticed.
The future isn't guaranteed, but you both will live on, together maybe, who knows? You were young and in love, but who says it won't work? Your hearts will live for each other, whatever the future brings you.
He was the daydream to your nightmare.
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