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msgexymunson · 9 months

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Treasure

Description: watching the latest Mad Max film has you discovering something new about Eddie and his kinks

A/N: just a smutty blurb I came up with when I watched that film last night! Ignore the timeline, just pretend Fury Road came out in the 80s. Please reblog if you like my work, I'll love you forever, promise.

Warnings: AFAB reader, NSFW, minors DNI, subby Eddie, breeding kink, p in v unprotected sex (reader on b/c)

2k words

Masterlist

The new Mad Max film blares its opening titles, echoing off of the tinny walls of the trailer. The lights are all off; darkness had fallen outside some time ago, so the only light came from the flickering blue glare of the TV.

There was barely enough room to sit side by side on the narrow bed, so you sat between Eddie's spread legs, your back flush with his chest, cuddled in a swaddling embrace. You'd only been seeing each other for a couple of months, but the comfort of having his arms around you in such a natural way made you feel safe.

"I've been looking forward to watching this, took a lot not to watch it before you came around." He admits, hand reaching up to stroke your face briefly.

"Well, aren't I lucky."

"Damn straight."

You laugh, grabbing his hand and wrapping it back around your torso, settling down to watch the movie.

Losing yourself in the film, you focus on the characters, the chases, the struggles. Then you notice Eddie's hand has drifted to your thigh. Your eyes roll upwards, he's usually handsy with you when you're trying to watch TV so this is not surprising. What is surprising is the nature of his movements. They seem compulsive, thumb rubbing back and forth as if he's not aware he's doing it. Staring at his hand, you see it's trembling slightly.

You cup his hand with yours and he stops immediately.

"You alright there baby? Are the girls that hot?" You quip, amusement in your voice.

"Oh, no, not at all!" He shakes his head, a few strands grazing your cheek. "They're pretty, sure, not a patch on you." He responds, kissing your temple. The reply is so forthright and honest, like everything else he says to you. It's definitely the truth. Honestly, you wouldn't even be jealous if it was the girls that got him worked up. You know he's yours.

Settling back down, you continue watching, but curiosity is chewing on your brain. It's fuelled even further by a very familiar bulge that's now digging into the small of your back.

It's only when you hear the character on screen saying 'his treasures, his prize breeders' and Eddie's hand grips your thigh hard, that you put two and two together. He tries to disguise it as a cough, but the damage is done.

You tilt your head back a little so you can take in his profile. For once, Eddie looks nervous. His cheeks are flushed, eyes as wide as a bush baby, nibbling on his lip neurotically. He's never looked so flustered.

The devil on your shoulder is whispering an idea in your brain that you can't ignore. Seeing him so worked up is doing something to you, blood travelling in between your legs.

Softly, so he barely notices at first, you run your hands up and down his thighs. Gentle caresses, back and forth, until you feel him hum in his chest, melting slightly. He's relaxing beneath you. Your nails join in, dragging across the soft fabric of his sweatpants.

"Eddie, am I your treasure?" You ask sweetly, voice as innocent as you can muster.

"Of- of course, baby." He responds, a quiver in his voice, tensing up again at your words.

"Is that what you want? For me to be your treasure?" You ask, pressing your back against him harder, beginning to gently grind on his bulge.

"Wha-what do you m-mean?"

He staggers it out, his usual cadence gone. It's high pitched, almost whiny. This is going well out of your usual territory; it wasn't uncommon for Eddie to be pulling whimpers out of you, not the other way around.

You have to say it, to take the leap.

Leaning to whisper right in his ear, you decide to just come out with it.

"Do you want to breed me Eddie?"

His eyes widen even further, mouth falling open. You continue to grind against him, your hands tracing higher up his thighs.

"Is that it baby? You wanna fuck me raw, fill me up?"

The noise he makes is alien to you. It's high, quivering and desperate. His breathing has quickened, hands coming to rest shakily on yours.

Pulling them off you gently, you reach for the remote and pause the movie. Then, you swivel around so you can straddle him, throbbing heat pressed against his rock hard length.

"Eddie, answer me." You say quietly, but firmly. His hands rest on your hips, anxiously rubbing the skin under your shirt. His shirt, the old one you'd stolen weeks ago.

"I- I, erm, yeah, I mean, fuck" He stutters, losing control as you massage his length with each roll of your hips, only your panties and his sweats in the way of absolute pleasure.

You grasp his chin between thumb and forefinger, forcing his gaze to meet yours.

"Eddie. Words."

"I mean, yeah." His voice is smaller than you've ever heard. Then, it all rushes out of his mouth in a jumble.

"But I, I don't mean I want to like, have kids right now or something it's just-"

"You like the fantasy."

He nods so hard and fast it's almost comical. The puppy dog look he's giving you is so soft and you don't want to hurt his feelings, so you swallow your laugh.

"You know, I was gonna mention earlier…" you start as you run a hand through the front of his hair, nails dragging on his scalp slightly, his eyes rolling back at the gesture.

"What sweetheart?" He all but whispers, his head rolling in tandem with your ministrations.

"I'm on the pill now."

His eyes snap back open, bugging out of his head almost. A laugh escapes then, you can't help it. It's a girlish giggle, which turns into a dirty smirk.

Grinding against him harder, hand coming to rest on his chest, a moan sounds low inside you, echoing from deep within. The friction is good, making you wet, but it's not enough.

You need him. Now.

"So, you wanna fill me up? You can cum inside me, as many times as you want."

"You'll let me?" He looks shocked.

"Oh please, sweets, please."

His grip on your hips is harder now, fingers tight on your flesh.

He all but sulks when you climb off him, pouting his bottom lip like a child. It's not for long though, as you shimmy out of your panties, discarding them somewhere on the floor. You pull his sweats off and away swiftly, to join the mire of mess on his carpet.

Hovering back over him, you circle the tip of his leaking cock. It's teasing, you know, but he looks so flustered and sweaty and desperate.

"Can I take this off?" He asks, tugging at the hem of your shirt, "please?"

The question takes you back. You're not used to being in control, the thrill of it tingles through your nerves. You pull the top off very slowly, finally releasing your breasts. Eddie groans in his throat at the sight.

As you sink down on him, you press your mouth on his, collecting his moans in your throat. Your pussy swallows him up, sucking him in greedily. You do the same with your tongue, fervently licking into him, heating up your mouth, your skin, your cunt.

The room is soon filled with the sound of your slapping skin, your nails leaving red crescents into his shoulders.

"Fuck, you feel so amazing. Go- go a bit slower, please." You comply, rocking into him, his swollen length jotting against your g spot with each pass.

Leaning towards him, you let your lips brush against his ear, hot breath fanning against the shell of it.

"This what you wanted baby, hmm? To feel everything…" Letting the word linger, you push against him harder, fingers winding into his hair.

"Yeah, oh yes- fuck"

"Yeah? You wanna cum inside me? Stuff me full of your cum? You want little Munsons running around the place, hmm?"

He whimpers. He actually fucking whimpers.

You pull on the lock of hair you've twisted in your grip, making his noises even more strangled.

"Baby, oh my God, please, can I get on top?"

"Of course, your treasure will do anything for you" you smirk.

"Fuck!"

He pushes you down then, flipping you onto the mattress as he fucks into you intensely, hand coming to your clit to rub tight circles. Even in his state he still wants you to come first.

The coil in your stomach that has been tightening slowly speeds up at his touch, warming through your body, tingles reaching right to your fingers and toes. The heat is outstanding, buzzing between you both. Your insides are fluttering as you dig heels into his bare ass, forcing him as close as he can get, needing more, more.

"Please come, Jesus Christ, I need it, I need it. Come so I can, please!"

Its babble, spewing from his lips in urgent bubbles of sound. The subby neediness of it is what pushes you over that edge, clenching hard around his thick member, squeezing him to within an inch of his life. You scream out your release, throaty and rough, gripping his biceps tightly.

"Oh my God sweets, fuck!"

The feeling must be just as intense for him. You push him further, knowing he wants it.

"Eddie, please cum inside me, I need your cum, I wanna feel it, fuckin' breed me Eddie."

That was it, that pushed him over the edge; the word 'breed'. He releases deep inside, crying out your name so loudly you're sure the neighbours are going to complain. He's throbbing inside, still coming, and coming. Finally, it stops and he goes limp, slipping out of you. You accept his weight, holding him to you closely.

A cold, wet feeling on your chest takes you by surprise. Looking down you see that Eddie is crying. Not hard, just little, hiccupping sobs that make your heart swell.

"Shh, it's OK baby, it's OK." Attempting to placate him, your fingers run through his hair trying to soothe him.

The whimpering stops and he looks at you, eyes almost shameful.

"I'm so sorry that was pathetic, honestly-"

"Baby, I ain't judging." Flashing him a soft smile.

"I just never came that hard. Ever."

Your chest swells with pride but you jolt as you feel his fingers on your soaking heat.

"Baby what are you doing?"

"Keeping my cum inside you."

Giggles explode out of you, slapping his arm. He doesn't stop, fingers hard against your cunt.

"That was really fucking hot. I should let you take charge more often."

"Let me? Seems I took charge all on my own."

"And I thank you for it." He nods, pressing a soft kiss to your chin.

He hesitates, fingers still harsh on your cunt.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" You stare down at him, confused.

His voice drops down an octave, eyes flashing menace.

"That I can cum in you, as much as I want?"

Biting your lip, you nod.

"Fill me up Eddie."

"Fuuuck" He huffs, biting down on the soft skin of your breast, "give me five minutes and I'm gonna rock your world."

Giggles are replaced by moans when he shoves two fingers inside your soaking cunt.

Seems you've unlocked a new kink of his. You smile, happy to be his treasure.

Taglist (I'm just tagging some likely candidates ;)

@munson-blurbs @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @emsgoodthinkin @names-were-taken @joejoequinnquinn @zestychili @lunatictardis @eddiesprincess86 @ali-r3n @tlclick73 @corrodedcoffincumslut @unfocused81 @liminalpebble @truffleshuffle12 @bookshelf-dust

#ms gexy writes #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie x you #sub!eddie munson x reader #sub!eddie munson #sub!eddie #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x female!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson breeding #eddie munson breeding kink

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somehow-a-human · 1 month

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Deciphering the Angelic Language

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Oh boy, I'm finally tackling a post on this! I haven't seen a ton of discussion about this or progress and I think that's because it's very complicated. I've done a bit of work on it and I'm hoping by sharing here we'll be able to combine our brainpower and make some more progress!

SO! Let's get into it shall we?

Let's start with what we've been told about the Angelic Language:

An SFX team member said that the pillars in heaven "don't translate into words" (so maybe it translates into something like hex? ASCII?)

A speaker at Ineffablecon confirmed that the language "contains meaning and can be decoded"

According to the Chapter 6 VFX Breakdown video, "The creative team broke down the symbols into an alphabet of about 140 runes"

I'm going to start with that last bullet point. An alphabet of about 140 runes, which math-wise narrows down what type of alphabet we might be looking at. Specifically, I think it might point to Consonant/Vowel Pairs, which gives you 126 characters, then add in numbers and punctuation, you've got about 140. That's my best guess anyway.

The next thing i did was look at the Heaven CCTV footage of Gabriel FRAME BY FRAME to analyze the runes on the screen in these scenes. I think this is the best place to start for a number of reasons, first of all, being that the CCTV footage seems to only use a subset of the runes that don't include and modifications like extra dots or ticks. I consider them base runes.

Secondly, the runes cycle through a lot of changes here so it's a great place to look for patterns, and find patterns I did.

I found 4 sets of runes that cycle sequentially through a repeating pattern. Okay I'm going to do my very best to explain this.

The above we will call set A

The above we will call set B

The above we will call set C

The above we will call set D

The runes on the CCTV will *almost* always follow the sequence of their set, and when they reach the end of the set, they're marked with one of the following first two sequences below which I'm referring to as "indicator runes" after which they either repeat the same set or a different set.

The only time the runes change in the middle of a sequence is when they're denoted by the third row indicator runes before the change occurs.

So there does at least seem to be some pattern to the runes, at least when it comes to the ones used in the CCTV footage. These however are only about half of the total number of runes, the other half are derived from these initial ones, and have additional tick marks and dots added to them to add some sort of meaning and differentiation.

These screen grabs are from the Chapter 6 VFX Breakdown video, and during the lead in to these animations I think I can also say that the language is probably read right to left, as that's the direction the runes scroll in on the screen.

These scenes are also shown with a certain glowing overlay, so I'm wondering if when we can figure the language out, if there is an interesting message here to be read as well.

Anyway! If you have any other info or this has sparked any ideas about the language for you please let me know! I will continue to play with it and update when I have anything of note! :)

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writeformesinpie · 2 years

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A-Z Yandere Prompts w/ Dialogue Starters

A is for... Appetite

“I want to know how you’ll taste between my teeth.”

“I can never get enough of you. I’ll drink you down to the last sip.”

“You look delicious. I won't stop until I’ve eaten every bite.”

B is for... Brand

“I’m going to engrave myself into your very being.”

“We won’t stop until you’re so covered in my scent, no one will dare touch you again.”

“With this tattoo I’ve claimed you.”

C is for... Consequences

“Don’t play with fire if you don’t want to burn.”

“Don’t complain now – you did this to yourself.”

“You reap what you sow.”

D is for... Delusion

“This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

“Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”

“Why are you running? I did this for you!”

E is for... Eradicate

“You don’t need a job, baby. Your job is being mine.”

“You’re better off without them anyway.”

“I removed the problem. You should be thanking me.”

F is for... Forbidden

“You knew what you were getting into when you got involved with me.”

“They will never let us be together unless we make them.”

“It’s only taboo to those who’ve never loved like us.”

G is for... Game

“Here kitty, kitty.”

“I don’t know how to lose.”

“One, two, Daddy is coming for you. Three, four, knocking down your door.”

H is for... Harmless

“I would never hurt you. You know that, right?”

“Why are you scared?”

“You’re the only reason worth living for.”

I is for... Isolation

“Why would you want to leave? I’m keeping you here for your own good!”

“There’s nothing left for you but me. Everyone else is gone.”

“No one will ever find you here.”

J is for... Jealousy

“If his filthy hands touch you again I’ll kill him.”

“Shouldn’t you be spending more time with me?”

“I can’t control how I react when your eyes wander.”

K is for... Kidnap

“You say kidnap, I say date. Who’s really to know?”

“It’s not kidnapping when your soul yearns to be here.”

“There’s no use trying to run. This is your home now.”

L is for... Lies

“The truth would have just hurt you.”

“I’m not lying – I bent the truth a little to protect you.”

“Don’t you believe me?”

M is for... Manipulation

“I’ve done everything for you and this is how you repay me?”

“If you leave me now I’ll die. I can’t survive without you.”

“I told you they couldn’t be trusted.”

N is for... Neglect

“Stop ignoring me!”

“Look at you, you’re skin and bones.”

“If you won’t take care of yourself I will be forced to do it for you.”

O is for... Obsession

“It’s our anniversary! How could you forget? There isn’t a single thing I don’t remember about you.”

“So it's a little crush when you fawn over him but it's an obsession when I pay attention to you?”

“I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. You’re all I can think about.”

P is for... Persistence

“To my dying breath, I’ll never let you go.”

“I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. No matter where you run, I’ll catch you.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t find you?”

Q is for Quid Pro Quo

“If you do this for me I’ll think about helping you.”

“Well, I guess it pays to have friends in high places.”

“You owe me.”

R is for... Restraints

“I’ll let you go when you understand this is where you belong.”

“Your poor wrists… Maybe next time you’ll do what I say the first time I ask.”

“The cuffs will come off when you start acting like someone who doesn’t need them.”

S is for... Spoil

“I’d do anything for you, babe. Anything.”

“Is this okay? Did I do well?”

“Nothing is ever enough for you, is it?”

T is for... Training

“We can do this the hard way or the easy way. It’s up to you.”

“Haven’t we already moved past this? Do I have to train you again?”

“Patience is a virtue. We’ll keep going until you learn.”

U is for... Unending

“No matter how long you make me wait, our love will never die.”

“The only way out of this house is death.”

“There is no end. We are eternal.”

V is for... Voyeur

“Don’t act as if you don’t know me. I've been watching you watch me.”

“I like you best when you’re sleeping.”

“If I don’t keep an eye on you, who knows what will happen?”

W is for... Worship

“You’re my whole world, my Goddess. You're more than divine, you’re celestial.”

“Let me show you what adoration truly looks like.”

“No matter what you do to me, I’ll worship the very ground you walk on. That's what it means to love someone.”

X is for... XOXO

“I want to hold you but I can’t. Once I do, I know I’ll never stop.”

“I need to kiss every inch of your skin.”

“When we part, every caress becomes more agonizing than the last.”

Y is for... Yearn

“I’m aching for your touch.”

“You’re my oasis. Please don’t leave me thirsting.”

“You don’t know true pain. I’ll show you what it really means to crave something.”

Z is for... Zealot

“You are my religion.”

“Words like radical and extremist are just a pseudonym for enthusiastic.”

“No matter the world, we are fated. Through time and space we will always find each other.”

~Feel free to reblog and use~

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literary-illuminati · 3 months

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An Arbitrary Collection of Book Recommendations

(put together for a friend out of SFF I've read over the last couple of years)

Cli-Fi

Tusks of Extinction and/or The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler. They’re pretty different books in a lot of ways – one is a novel about discovering a certain species of squid in the Pacific might have developed symbolic language and writing, the other a novella about a de-extinction initiative to restore mammoths to the Siberian taiga – but they share a pretty huge overlap in setting, tone and themes. Specifically, a deep and passionate preoccupation with animal conservation (and a rather despairing perspective on it), as well as a fascination with transhumanism and how technology can affect the nature of consciousness. Mountain is his first work, and far more substantial, but I’d call it a bit of a noble failure in achieving what it tries for. Tusks is much more limited and contained, but manages what it’s going for.

A Half-Built Garden by Ruthanna Emrys. In a post-post-apocalyptic world that’s just about figured out how to rebuild itself from the climate disasters of the 21st century (but that’s still very much a work in progress), aliens descend from the sky and make First Contact. They’re a symbiotic civilization, and they’re overjoyed at the chance to welcome a third species into their little interstellar community – and consider it a mission of mercy besides, since every other species they’ve ever encountered destroyed themselves and their planet before escaping it. Awkwardly, our heroine and her whole society are actually pretty invested in Earth and the restoration thereof – and worried that a) the alien’s rescue effort might not care about their opinions and b) that other interest groups on earth might be more willing to give the hyper-advanced space-dwelling aliens the answers they want to hear. Basically 100% sociological worldbuilding and political intrigue, so take that as you will.

Throwback Sci Fi

Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky is possibly the only thing I’ve read published in decades to take the old cliche of ‘this generic-seeming fantasy world is actually the wreckage of a ruined space age civilization, and ‘magic’ and ‘monsters’ are the remnants of the technology’ and play it entirely straight. Specifically, it’s a two-POV novella, where half the story is told from the perspective of a runaway princess beseeching the ancient wizard who helped found her dynasty for help against a magical threat, and half is from the perspective form the last surviving member of a xeno-anthropology mission woken out of stasis by the consequences of the last time he broke the Prime Directive knocking on his ship tower door and asking for help. Generally just incredible fun.

Downbelow Station by C. J. Cherryh is, I think, the only thing on this list written before the turn of the millennium. It’s proper space opera, about a habitat orbiting an immensely valuable living world that’s the lynchpin of logistics for the functionally rogue Earth Fleet’s attempt to hold off or defeat rebelling and somewhat alien colonies further out. The plot is honestly hard to summarize, except that it captures the feel of being history better than very nearly any other spec fic I’ve ever read – a massive cast, none of them with a clear idea of what’s going on, clashing and contradictory agendas, random chance and communications delays playing key roles, lots of messy ending, not a single world-shaking heroes or satanic masterminds deforming the shape of things with their narrative gravity to be seen. Somewhat dated, but it all very impressively well done.

Pulpy Gay Urban Fantasy Period Piece Detective Stories Where Angels Play a Prominent Role

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark stars Fatma el-Sha’arawi, the youngest woman working for the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities in Cairo, a couple of decades after magic returned to the world and entirely derailed the course of Victorian imperialism. There’s djinn and angels and crocodile gods, and also an impossible murder that needs solving! The mystery isn’t exactly intellectually taxing, but this is a very fun tropey whodunnit whose finale involves a giant robot.

Even Though I Knew The End by C. L. Polk is significantly more restrained and grounded in its urban fantasy. It’s early 20th century Chicago, and a PI is doing one last job to top off the nest egg she’s leaving her girlfriend before the debt on her deal with the devil comes due. By what may or may not be coincidence, she stumbles across a particularly gruesome crime scene – and is offered a deal to earn back her soul by solving the mystery behind it. Very noir detective, with a setting that just oozes care and research and a satisfyingly tight plot.

High Concept Stuff That Loves Playing around With Format and the Idea of Narratives

Radiance by Catherynne M. Valente is a story about a famous documentarian vanishing on shoot amid mysterious and suspicious circumstances, as told by the recovered scraps of the footage she was filming, and different drafts of her (famous director) father’s attempt to dramatize the events as a memorial to her. It’s set in a solar system where every planet is habitable and most were colonized in the 19th century, and culturally humanity coasts on in an eternal Belle Epoque and (more importantly) Golden Age of Hollywood. Something like half the book is written as scripts and transcripts. This description should by now either have sold you or put you off entirely.

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez is the only classic-style epic fantasy on this list, I believe? The emperor and his three demigod sons hold subjugated in terror, but things are changing. The emperor, terrified of death, has ordered a great fleet assembled to carry him across the sea in pursuit of immortality. The day before he sets out on his grand pilgrimage to the coast, a guilt-ridden guard helps the goddess of the moon escape her binding beneath the palace. From there, things spiral rapidly out of anyone’s control. The story’s told through two or three (depending( different layers of narrative framing devices, and has immense amounts of fun playing with perspective and format and ideas about storytelling and legacy.

I Couldn’t Think of Any Categories That Included More Than One of These

All The Names They Used For God by Anjali Sachdeva is a collection of short stories, and probably the most literary thing on this list? The stories range wildly across setting and genre, but are each more or less about the intrusion of the numinous or transcendent or divine into a world that cracks and breaks trying to contain it. It is very easily the most artistically coherent short story collection I’ve ever read, which I found pretty fascinating to read – but honestly I’m mostly just including this on the strength of Killer of Kings, a story about an angel sent down to be John Milton’s muse as he writes Paradise Lost which is probably one of the best things I read last year period.

Last Exit by Max Gladstone – the Three Parts Dead and How You Lose the Time War guy – could be described as a deconstruction of ‘a bunch of teenagers/college kids discover magic and quest to save the world!’ stories, but honestly I’d say that obscures more than it reveals. Still, the story is set with that having happened a decade in the past, and the kids in question have thoroughly fucked up. Zelda, the protagonist, is kept from suicide by survivor’s guilt as much as anything, and now travels across America working poverty jobs and sleeping in her car as she hunts the monsters leaking in through the edges of a country rotting at the seams. Then there’s a monster growing in the cracks of the liberty bell, an in putting it down she gets a vision of someone she thought was dead is just trapped – or maybe changed. So it’s time to get the gang together again and save the world! This one’s hard to rec without spoiling a lot, but the prose and characterization are all just sublime. Oddly in conversation with the whole Delta Green cosmic horror monster hunting subgenre for a story with nothing to do with Lovecraft.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh is a story about aliens destroying the earth, and growing up in the pseudo-fascist asteroid survivalist compound of the last bits of the human military that never surrendered. It stars a heroine whose genuinely indoctrinated for the first chunk of the book and just deeply endearing terrible and awful to interact with, and also has a plot that’s effectively impossible to describe without spoiling the big twist at the end of the first act. Possibly the only book I read last year which I actively wish was longer – which is both compliment and genuine complaint, for the record, the ending’s a bit messy. Still, genuinely meaty Big Ideas space opera with very well-done characterization and a plot that does hold together.

#meta #book recommendations #sff #sharing this mostly so I don't lose it next time my laptop dies #and also hey why not

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fayes-fics · 6 months

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It Had To Be You: Chapter 9 - Nobody Else Gave Me A Thrill

Masterpost PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU

Summary: You two finally figure it all out on New Year's Eve...

artwork credit @colettebronte

Warnings: none, really… just some swearing and love confessions.

Word Count: 3.8k

Authors Note: A multi-chapter modern rom-com retelling of When Harry Met Sally. Here we are; this is the final chapter! Both reader and Benedict finally see the truth. There will be a short, hopefully humourous epilogue to this story as well, which I will post tomorrow. Thanks to @colettebronte for betaing. I hope you have all enjoyed this fic <3

For the next few weeks, the dreary weather, the clocks changing, and the chilly nights drawing in match your sullen mood. Your argument with Benedict at the wedding made you so sad but resolute to try and put it behind you.

It's the last weekend in November when you are buying a Christmas tree that you feel the worst. Making a mess of dragging the tree back to your place alone, leaving a trail of needles behind you, you stop halfway and slump onto a doorstep. Recalling with perfect clarity how you and Benedict had bought one together from the same man the previous year, laughing carefree as you easily carried it between you. Then you drank mulled wine as you haphazardly threw on lights and ornaments, dancing to cheesy Christmas songs. It's what you miss the most—his companionship, the ease of time spent with one of your favourite people.

Just as you are wrestling the tree through your front door, exhausted, sweaty and prickled by a thousand tiny shitty needles that seem to have it out for you, your phone pings with a message.

BB: I'm sorry for how things ended at the wedding. I've been thinking about it for weeks now. Please call me. I want to talk.

Pride (and your current disastrous had-a-fight-with-a-tree-and-lost appearance) stops you from doing what you genuinely want to—picking up your phone and Facetiming him to sort it all out.

Not ready yet.

Two weeks later, it's mid-December, and you are sitting cross-legged on your living room floor with a big glass of wine, wrapping presents for friends, when your phone pings again. For a while now, almost every day, he has been sending links to Insta posts with adorable and hilarious content. Each of which you have enjoyed but couldn't bring yourself to reply to. This time, it’s a message.

BB: If you are available at the moment, please call me.

You stare at the little pop-up notification and take a gulp, a weird weight in your chest at the idea you might cave this time. Perhaps. Once you are done wrapping this gift. A few minutes later, your phone pings again.

BB: Okay, I assume no call means:

BB: (A) you can't take a call right now

BB: (B) you can, but you don't want to talk to me or

BB: (C) you desperately do want to talk to me but are trapped under something heavy

BB: If it's A or C, please call me back later, doesn't matter what time

BB: Also, if it’s C, please call 999 if you are in danger, then call me after. I don't have any heavy-lifting equipment…

You can't help but giggle at his gentle, silly humour, attempting to diffuse the tension. A large part of you wants to call; you even have the phone in your hand, but at the last minute, you rest it against your forehead with a sigh, something stopping you. Your stupid rebound fling being the biggest one, Benedict’s cutting remark about how quickly you let someone else into your bed, making your stomach roil.

Still not ready yet.

—

“Obviously, she doesn't want to speak to me,” Benedict laments, his words muffled into a scatter cushion on Kate and Anthony’s sofa.

It's the morning after they've returned from honeymoon, three days before Christmas. While they are thankful Benedict popped over with some basics to make breakfast, they could do without his melancholy—they’re much more about a ‘let’s have newlywed sex on the kitchen table’ vibe.

“What do I have to do? Get hit over the head? Be in some calamitous accident?” Benedict whines, twisting his head in aggravation as if trying to burrow himself head-first into the furniture.

‘What do we do?’ Anthony mouths to Kate, who throws her hands up defeatedly.

‘How should I know?’ she mouths back, frowning. ‘He's your brother.’

‘Your friend's fault,’ Anthony shoots back.

Kate crosses her arms and gets a look like a sour lemon, and he instantly regrets that line.

Benedict lifts his head to look up at them, and she has to stifle a giggle behind her hand at the deep red imprint of the cushion zipper on his forehead.

“If she wants to talk to me. She will call me back, right? I'm done with making an idiot of myself….” Benedict claims boldly.

You are sitting on the sofa at your childhood home early evening on Christmas Day, almost disgustingly full of Baileys (your mum's tipple of choice on this day) and Christmas pud, watching The Wrong Trousers - a family tradition - when your phone pings with a message.

It's from Benedict and your stomach vaults. You honestly thought after more than a week of silence, he had given up trying. And part of you was so sad. There is no text this time, just a video attachment. You excuse yourself to the downstairs cloakroom, taking a seat on the closed lid of the toilet, intrigued as to what it is.

The video starts with him looking directly into the camera, his handsome face filling the frame and making your stomach swoop again. Fuck, you have missed seeing it.

“Merry Christmas y/n. I hope you are having a nice time. I miss you, and I hate how we left things,” he opens honestly, “and when Bridgertons don't know what to do, we always act stupidly. It's our ‘thing’. So here, You can blame this on my genetics...”

The video cuts to black briefly and then fades into him, a huge 6ft lump, crowded behind a plastic toy piano on the floor, probably one of Daphne’s kids' toys. You instantly giggle at the ridiculous visual as he apes a maestro, closes his eyes as if about to play Chopin, and flexes his hands. Then, the tinny, electric sound of some familiar notes being played hesitantly begins. He isn't exactly a natural pianist.

“Hey, I didn't just meet you, And this is crazy,

You know my number, So call me maybe,

It's hard to feel right without you, lady

You know my number, so call me, maybe…”

You are instantly laughing. He's such an adorable, charming idiot. Sitting behind a miniature plastic piano and playing, half in earnest, half in jest. At least his voice can hold a semi-decent tune. It brings an affectionate mist to your eyes even as it continues…

“Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad

I missed you so bad; I missed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad

And you should know that, I miss you now… so, so bad….”

For the last few words, he slows down the song and looks directly down the lens pointedly.

Something in his pleading look is the straw that breaks the camel's back proverbially, and with a slight tremor in your hand, you scroll to his name and hit the FaceTime button before you can think twice about it. The sound of the tone, as it rings, feels so loud, and each crisp ‘bringggg’ makes your nerves jangle. Just as you are about to hang up, the call connects.

“I'm sorry it took me so long to answer. I had to find a private spot.” he sounds a little winded.

“Where are you?” you frown, an unfamiliar background behind him.

“My childhood bedroom. Aubrey Hall.”

“Oh my god! Show me!” You enthuse, your initial equivocation derailed by nosiness, which you decide to frame instead in your mind as mere curiosity. You never got to see it the wedding weekend for, well, reasons you don't want to dwell on right now.

He quickly flips the camera around, giving you an audio-guided tour of the room he grew up in. Dark blue walls with framed posters for his beloved Blur alongside Travis, Radiohead and Shaun of the Dead. Silly stick-on glow-in-the-dark stars on the high ceiling that are likely too high for anyone to bother getting out a ladder and peeling off. Shelves with little wooden car models he made with his dad before he died, mixed in with certificates of achievement from school, shiny brass archery trophies, and his early sketches in those cheap snap-in frames. And lastly, a collection of jagged small rocks and colourful pebbles. It makes you feel so very affectionate for little teenage Benedict.

“You are bloody adorable!” you blurt out, almost forgetting all the awkwardness from the past few weeks.

The camera flips around, and his lopsided grin fills the screen. “Thank you. I try to make a habit of it…”

You smile back and then sigh. “I’ve missed this,” you confess quietly, wistfully.

“I’ve missed this too. You. Us. Can we please be friends again? Please? I know we both have a lot of things to talk about. With that night and all… but… can we reset? I need you, Bluey. I am miserable without my best friend,” he pouts, his raw honesty making your chest ache.

It’s exactly how you feel, too. Except with a massive pang of regret that he seems to want to forget your magical night together. Sex is never like that, at least not for you—electric and addictive. Doing a reset to save your friendship feels like the most logical step. Still, it doesn’t stop the “what if” fantasies running in your head with increasing frequency, especially on a day like today—nostalgia, sentiment and overindulgence swirling in your being.

“I would like us to be friends again,” you exhale, a lie by slight omission, drumming your fingertips on your cheek nervously to stop you from saying more.

“Wonderful! Then it is so! I can’t wait to see you again! Are you going to the New Year's party? The one Simon & Daph are hosting at the Sky Terrace? Cos if you are, I was wondering, if you don’t have a date if we could go together? We always said we would be each other's plus one if neither of us is with anyone…”

That he wants to completely reset to that world makes your heart crack. You want to scream at him, ‘No! I want to be your real date! Pick me, for real, this time!’

“I… can’t do that,” you waver, and it comes off sounding tired.

“You have a date?” It’s soft, hesitant, trepidatious.

“No…” you admit, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to go together like that. I… I can’t be your consolation prize anymore, Benedict,” you blurt out, the hurt taking over your tongue.

The look of stunned surprise on his face makes it worse. As if he had never even seen it from that perspective.

“That’s not what I….” he begins but is interrupted by a loud door bang as it slams into the wall and a yelling voice.

“Stop fucking hiding and get your bloody arse back downstairs. You can’t miss family dinner on Christmas Day!” Colin scolds loudly offscreen.

“I’ve got to go…,” he sighs reluctantly as an arm manhandles him up and off the bed. “Merry Christmas,” he adds, belatedly realising you both forgot to say it earlier on the call.

“Whoever it is, hang up. No one is more important than family on Christmas,” Colin gripes. “That’s it, I’m taking your phone…”.

The screen is filled with random shapes and loud noises as they seem to wrestle like children. And then the call suddenly disconnects.

You sigh and tip sideways against the cold tile of your parents' cloakroom wall.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Benedict takes stock of his surroundings. December 31st, 11:00pm, lying on his stomach on his sectional chaise, staring up at the big flatscreen on his wall.

This isn't so bad… he tries to convince himself. I've got Jools Holland’s Hootenanny - the only decent New Year's programme, some Glenfiddich and Mini Cheddars - the best snack there is…

He sighs and realises how pathetic he sounds, even in his own mind, alone in an empty flat.

The man whirls you around, and you are almost thrown straight into Kate and Anthony.

“I should never have let you drag me to this,” you grouse so only they can hear.

They both shoot you an apologetic look until you are whipped away again. This man’s dancing style is more akin to a waltzer amusement ride than anything sensual or fun. Your shoulder is already aching. It's a far cry from the surprising salsa Benedict pulled out of the bag last New Year’s Eve. And the idle thought of him has you spiralling…

“Mind if we stop?” you puff as the band finishes the song with a flourish. He’s some slick European investment banking type, and really, you couldn't give two shits about offending him, merely your ingrained politeness kicking in.

He nods and goes off to grab drinks as you stand, hands on hips, trying to gather your breath as you watch all the people moving like a mass of limbs on the crowded dancefloor as the following number begins.

Why the fuck am I here?

This is much better… Benedict rationalises to himself as he wanders down the rainy, empty East London streets not far from his Hoxton pad. Who needs to be at a big, crowded party pretending to have a good time?

He pauses outside a trendy shop on Old St, selling overpriced crap that he's not even sure what it is.

See? I can do some window shopping. He tells himself silently—clutching at anything to distract himself from the creeping sense of dread in his gut. A slow twisting knife as he thinks about you dancing the night away, ringing in the New Year with some fancy, handsome man who definitely doesn't deserve you.

What does it matter to me? We are just friends. Best friends… the only friend I ever want to see every day… the only one who truly matters….

He has thought about how to repair the damage between you so much over the last few weeks that he's exhausted himself. Really, he just wants you back. All of you, ideally, but being realistic, any part of yourself you will let back into his life. The suggestion of a reset he made on Christmas Day being his cowardly way out.

—

You are fake laughing at the banker’s story as you lean around the pillar you are backing yourself against in an attempt to secure more personal space. Glad of the heated lamps and the glass overhang to shelter from the drizzle.

“I'm going home,” you growl.

“You’ll never find an Uber,” Kate points out deadpan as you turn back around and keep faking amusement.

Just as his thoughts spiral, Benedict hears a chuckle on the other side of the road. There, a couple are laughing together, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing, looking like no one else in the world matters… and it’s like a lightning rod hits him square in the chest.

Suddenly, all he can see are images of you, fluttering like motioned-filled playing cards from above, swirling into his eyeline, then floating onto the glistening pavement around him. Vignettes of his life and where you intersect at so many pivotal moments. The day he left uni - the car ride where you bickered like an old married couple, the day he moved to Paris - your dilated pupils and hitched breath on the Eurostar when he whispered in your ear, the unerring sympathy when you heard about his divorce, the way you held his hand when you wandered after dinner somewhere (he doesn't even recall where… only that it was with you), watching movies together on FaceTime, your incredulity when he confessed to his uneventful recurring sex dream, your surprise and, yes, arousal as he led you in the salsa dance, the way you tucked so neatly into his arms haunting him. And finally, how it felt to be buried inside your gorgeous body as you clung to him, calling his name like a siren song, intimacy like he has never known, the profundity of the connection petrifying the very life out of him.

But as he stares down at his tatty old Converse, the same ones he wore the day you met, in fact, all he sees in the puddle beneath him is the simple truth he has been in denial about, possibly for a decade or more. Rippling refractions of your face - your knowing smile, bright eyes, your wonderful, happy expression…

And before his brain acknowledges it, his feet are moving….

Walking fast…

Then it’s a jog…

Then it’s a run….

.. his feet carrying him to the one place he knows with every fibre of his being he wants to be.

—

You wander as if in a daze, seemingly surrounded by nothing but couples, kissing, dancing, whispering, and it's the final straw. You spy Kate and Anthony sipping champagne together and slope over.

“I'm going,” you sigh.

“But it's almost midnight,” Anthony protests.

“Being surrounded by people kissing is just…” you shrug, melancholy creeping in like a clingy fog around your heart.

“I’ll kiss you,” Kate placates, and Anthony perks up to no end at that suggestion, nodding enthusiastically as you both roll your eyes, bemused. “Stay? Please?” she pleads, pouting and grabbing your hands.

“Thanks, Kate. But no. I have to go. Have a wonderful night,” you bid them, kissing her gently on the cheek. “Happy New Year,” you whisper as she returns the greeting.

Benedict's lungs are burning as he races down Old St towards Shoreditch, not far from where you celebrated last year. He ignores the ache in his muscles and keeps going, checking his watch to see 11:56pm and racing harder.

I need to be there at midnight!

As you walk to pick up your coat, a sight makes your heart leap into your mouth and stops you dead in your tracks.

There, rounding the top stair, casual in old faded jeans, those ancient Converse and a chunky knit jumper… is Benedict. Hair fluffy and dishevelled from the rain, out of breath and scanning the crowd desperately. As if he is seeking someone.

Then his eyes finally land on you, and your world tilts.

Oh god, is he here… for… me?!?

Then he is striding purposefully towards you, and it seems like the crowds part. His eyes blisteringly intense, like they were on that fateful night. You try to school your face, aiming for casual indignance; you probably fail spectacularly— your heart thumping wildly.

“I've been doing a lot of thinking…” he begins as he pulls up before you. “And the thing is… I love you..”

Everything grinds to a halt, and your head feels dizzy.

This must be a prank, surely?

“What?” you stutter, disbelief rocking your core.

“I love you,” he says with a simple shrug as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“Ben.. I… what do you expect me to say?” you blurt out, floored.

“How about you love me too,” he smiles a tiny fraction, and you hate it.

You hate how RIGHT he is. Your body is a total jumble of live wires, but your mind is suddenly calm. It's like the clouds of your thoughts part, and it all seems crystal clear. And yet, something in your stubborn heart won't let you admit it. Terrified what it could mean to voice it.

“Look, Ben, I know it's New Year, and I know you may be lonely tonight. But please don't do this,” you implore haltingly, tears prickling hot in the corners of your eyes, “...not like this,” you whisper, defeated.

“Okay, how about like this….” he throws his hands up. “I love that you won't admit you love me. I love that you are looking at me like you want to kill me right now. I love that my body is screaming at me cos I ran here as fast as I could.” he gestures down at his slightly shaky legs.

“Ten seconds to New Year's!!” a loud voice blares out over the speakers.

“TEN!!” the crowd chants.

“I love that we are idiots who would never admit to how in love we are.”

“NINE!”

“I love that you are my blue lobster, rare and beautiful as a diamond but a delicious soft treat under that hard as nails shell….”

“EIGHT!”

He tilts your chin to look up at him, a thumb swiping a tear you didn't even know had escaped.

“SEVEN!”

“Don't leave me out here in the wind, y/n…,” he murmurs softly.

“SIX!”

“I… I love that you never give up,” you whisper so quietly even you can barely hear it.

The smile that lights up Benedict’s face makes your whole being feel like the stars live inside your chest.

“FIVE!”

“I love that you take homemade salads on a road trip,” he smirks playfully, referring to the first day you spent together all those years ago.

“FOUR!”

“I love that you kept your amazing dance prowess under wraps,” you laugh over a stilted snuffle, everything in you fizzling.

“THREE!”

“I love that I can still smell you on my clothes after we spend the day together,” he sighs, moving in closer, your eyes hypnotised by the movement of his cupid’s bow.

“TWO!”

“I love that you came here tonight,” you admit, your hands circling his forearms as you sway slightly in unison.

“ONE!”

“I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night,” he confesses, his lips ghosting over yours now, smiling crookedly even as he speaks.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!” the crowd chants.

All around you, party poppers go off, colourful ribbons of streamers, and the sound of glasses clinking fills the air. But it’s background noise, your whole focus on each other.

Finally, your lips meet, the fireworks under your ribs matching those in the skies above, the same as it was that first time weeks ago. You melt into each other's embrace, your kiss a seal of a pact and the promise of something new and infinite.

“For the record,” he rumbles, his minty breath hot on your lips, the strains of Auld Lang Syne ringing around the rooftop. “I'm not saying this because I’m lonely and not because it’s the New Year. I came here tonight because when you finally realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start…”

“...as soon as possible,” you exhale, completing his sentence with him as he nods, grinning from ear to ear.

The drunken chorus around you gets louder; he chuckles and shakes his head. “I’ve never understood this stupid song.”

“I think it’s about remembering not to forget. Or not forgetting to remember. Or something,” you peal a laugh, knowing you are talking gibberish and not giving a damn. “Anyway, it’s about old friends,” you add pointedly, moving in for another spine-tingling, heart-melting kiss.

As you part, he cradles your jaw in his hands. “It was only ever you, y/n,” he sighs, hazy eyes burning into yours, his whisper fervent but contented into your skin. “It had to be you.”

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fluff #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton #bridgerton fluff #bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x female reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n #it had to be you fic

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nyerus · 10 days

Text

Overview of TGCF Versions

Due to recent(ish) events, I thought it would be good to make another post cataloguing all the different "versions" of TGCF, for newcomers and old fans alike! I'll also be going over some FAQs that I've seen or been asked so this post can serve as a decent info thread.

For simplicity's sake, first think of there being two "main" version of TGCF:

The Original -- what all the translations are based on, as well as the manhua and donghua.

The Revised -- what was released in print last year in China (only), and what was recently updated on JJWXC. The audio drama is adapting this

The original webnovel was itself not "censored." By that I mean, it contained everything MXTX originally wrote including kisses, swearing, innuendo, etc. MXTX did self-censor to avoid Real Censorship (hence the lack of NSFW scenes we may have gotten like in her previous novels), but that's a whole different thing. For all intents and purposes, consider the original version and (most of) its translations as being uncensored.

The revised version was first publicly released as a print novel in China. As such, it was actually censored. While "Hualian" is still there, and things are alluded to, it's a lot more vague. Kisses and a lot of other things were cut, including certain dialogue tidbits that perhaps were deemed a bit too obvious. (Plus a lot of Feng Xin and Qi Rong's cursing was removed lmao.)

HOWEVER, shortly after the print release, the audio drama started adapting the uncensored revised version. So we all knew there was an uncensored revised version somewhere in existence. It wasn't until the end of last month that we actually saw it! TGCF was available again on JJWXC after years of being "temporarily locked" to comply with regulations. (Though it was possible it was locked for other reasons. We will never fully know!) Not only was it finally unlocked, but it was actually updated to the uncensored revised version!

F.A.Q.s

1.) Why did MXTX make a revised version anyway? MXTX has mentioned before that she was not entirely satisfied with the original version of TGCF. Because she wrote and released each chapter in a serialized manner, with frequent (possibly daily?) updates, it doesn't surprise me that it didn't turn out exactly how she wanted. Now that she has the opportunity to sit down with it and go over everything on her own time, she's able to get it closer to what she wanted. In short: she's just really passionate about this story!

2.) Is there and English translation, or will there be? What about other languages? Officially, not yet. We don't know if there ever will be, as MXTX would have to re-negotiate the rights with publishers for translations, and at this time, we don't know if that'll happen. Unofficially, there are a few options: a. ClearNoodle has done some fan-translations you should check out here! b. By purchasing the webnovel on JJWXC now, you can MTL (machine translate) the novel. If you've seen screenshots in English floating around that aren't part of the fan-translations above, this is probably the source.

3.) What is JJWXC and how do I use it/purchase TGCF on it? JJWXC is the webnovel publishing site where TGCF was originally released. It hosts a giant array of C-novels, including most other danmei that you may have heard about. SV and MDZS were indeed also on JJWXC, but are currently (still) locked. To purchase TGCF (or any other novel) on JJWXC, cangji.net has an excellent guide and list of other helpful links to get you all set up. Please do check it out! Additionally, buying on JJWXC seems to be the most direct way to support authors. You can also throw bonus tips at them!

4.) How much has really changed in the revised version? A fair bit. Mostly, the changes are to do with plot structure, minor characters, overall flow, and so on. It's still essentially the same story, but in a way that feels fresh. Hualian in particular have exactly the same dynamic as before. MXTX added extra scenes between them, including very sweet and tender domestic stuff haha! There's also a few new lines of spicier dialogue to go along with some of the scenes that already existed in the original.

5.) So what is considered canonical? Both, in a way. MXTX has stated that she's happy if fans can enjoy both at once, and that we're free to pick-and-choose as we wish. Personally, while there are many things I prefer from the original, the revised version is something closer to MXTX's true vision for the novel. So I feel that holds a little bit of weight there, too.

6.) Will the manhua/donghua be adapting any of the newly revised content? So far that seems unlikely. The revised version facelifts a lot from the early parts of the story, which is stuff these adaptations have already covered. It would be hard to change things down the line now. At most they could add some of the extra dialogue or such, but we'll see if that's the case. For now, we simply don't know and shouldn't count on it. If you'd still like an adaptation of the revised, please absolutely check out the audio drama! It's easily become my personal fave adaptation of the story, and is made by a small but very passionate team who are close to MXTX. Thus, it's quite faithful and does the source material such justice! <3

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #this post was supposed to be out WEEKS ago but such is life lol #nyerus.txt #guide

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sadquickchristmassnowman · 6 months

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hey so i’m new to the community fandom and i really love trobed. i was wondering what was your trobed centric episode masterlist like? or if it’s possible, is there a way to send me the post? sorry i’m new to tumblr so i’m still learning how this app works. if you see this, thanks :)

hi, welcome! I've found that community tumblr is probably my favorite fandom space I've ever been involved in, and I hope you've had a good experience so far. I totally get the New App Learning Curve thing, I'm historically very shit at learning how to use new apps, even though I'm "young" (20), but I eventually got it and you will too, Trust 👍👍👍

anyway, Yes one of the first things I did on here after joining was make a trobed-centric episode masterlist for someone who was asking lmfao. since it was one of the First things I did there's some formatting and other things I'd do differently now, and I've actually been looking for an excuse to go ahead and get that done, so. here we go.

the trobed-centric episode masterlist (revamped)

1x05: advanced criminal law

plot B

abed takes the "friends mess with each other" rule too far; he creates a whole fake language and spends a lot of money on trying to convince troy that he is an alien

"from now on, abed, friends don't mess with each other"

(this is the first time they do their signature handshake)

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic

1x10: environmental science

plot B

it's the "somewhere out there" episode what more do I need to say

3/5 gayness, something's happening fs

1x11: the politics of human sexuality

plot C

abed keeps beating troy in athletic competitions, making troy feel threatened. he eventually admits that abed is the better athlete and they make up

2/5 gayness, pretty platonic but it has its moments

1x22: the art of discourse

plot C

troy and abed work to complete abed's list of quintessential freshman year of college experiences list

2/5 gayness, they repeatedly put completing the list above looking cool in front of women

1x25: pascal's triangle revisited

plot C

troy is moving out of his dad's house and wants to move in with abed, but abed says no because he's afraid being that close and spending that much time together will result in constant annoyance, and will destroy their friendship

troy realizes that "too much of a good thing can be bad" and instead agrees to move in with pierce

1/5 gayness

2x02: accounting for lawyers

part of plot A

jeff gets sucked back into his old life as he reconnects with alan, a coworker from his old law firm. troy, abed, and annie try to gather proof that jeff's friend is the one who got him fired in the first place

more trobedison centric, and is actually the first episode where the three of them are established as a Trio™

"all I heard was suck" "YOU CHLOROFORMED THE JANITOR" "I usually have one foot out of reality and even I'm freaking out right now"

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic. they're the sillies ever I love trobedison

2x06: epidemiology

part of plot A

it's the zombie episode, come ON

trobed have coordinating costumes but troy bails during the party because he doesn't want to look lame and nerdy in front of women, which hurts abed's feelings

abed sacrifices himself to save troy once they are the last two standing during the "rabies pathogen" breakout

"I love you" "I know" (oh my GODDD sedate me)

5/5 gayness. you get it.

2x09: conspiracy theories and interior design

plot B

the original blanket fort 💯💯💯

2/5 gayness, just guys bein silly (and in love???)

2x15: early 21st century romanticism

plot B

troy and abed fall for the same girl and decide to take her to the valentine's dance together, after which she can decide which one of them she wants to date

she picks troy, but troy gets upset that she didn't pick abed (because why wouldn't she pick abed, he's so cool) and breaks it off almost immediately

I"happy valentine's day" "it is now"

5/5 gayness jesus christ this one is INSANE

2x18: custody law and eastern european diplomacy

plot B

britta likes troy and abed's new friend, lukka, who she finds out is a literal war criminal. she keeps this information from troy and abed because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship with him, but they find out eventually

2/5 gayness they're attached at the hip in this one

2x19: critical film studies

random moments

this episode is more focused on jeff and abed, but there's a lot of classic Troy Gets Jealous™ moments so I decided to include it. plus the end tag is them randomly having dinner together at the fancy restaurant (a date 😔)

basically troy is afraid that jeff is a cooler friend to abed than him

3/5 gayness even though they barely interact, troy is so silly

2x20: competitive wine tasting

part of plot B

I almost didn't include this one, and it's not even on my original list, but whatever

troy pretends to be traumatized, originally to seem less shallow in his acting class, but he keeps it going in order to attract britta. he tells abed about it and abed Does Not Like That At All

"troy. nothing good can come of this"

I wouldn't call abed being jealous a Rare Occurrence but he generally conceals it way better than troy does

2/5 gayness, could be interpreted as abed just worried about relationships forming under false pretense, but to Me he's jealous

2x22: applied anthropology and culinary arts

plot C

pierce buys the rights to troy and abed's handshake (a la Indecent Proposal) which "corrupts" it

"pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can't get the magic baaaack :((((("

eventually they do indeed get the magic back

3/5 gayness idk there's something about the way they interact in this one that is inexplicably gay to me lmao

3x01: biology 101

plot C plus random moments

"speaking of figuring things out, me and abed have an announcement" "..." "troy and I are living together :D"

cougartown gets moved to midseason, then cougarton abbey ends after 6 episodes, abed's routine keeps getting thrown off, and troy is just extremely supportive and protective throughout

4/5 gayness troy loves him a lot!!!!!!

3x03: remedial chaos theory

random moments

(I know this ep is listed as 3x04 on streaming services but in canon it takes place here and on the dvds it's listed as 3x03. there's a joke about it in the episode too if you didn't know. anyway)

"troy and abed's new apartment!!!" "bienvenido a la casa chez trobed!" "wanna stay up all night talking in our bunk beds?"

all their pictures on the wall and their matching suits lol

the end tag "evil troy and evil abed" & troy's soft "what's wrong :("

3/5 gayness they're lowkey married your honor

3x05: horror fiction in seven spooky steps

random moments

troy's whole story he tells where they Literally become attached at the hip

"my partner"

troy dancing while abed's humming daybreak

2/5 gayness

3x06: advanced gay

plot B

troy deciding whether he wants to do plumbing or air conditioning and deciding all he really wants to do is watch tv with abed

gay symbolism? gay symbolism? gay symbolism?

4/5 gayness mostly for the conversation at the hawthorne wipes gathering. I could write an essay on just that

3x07: studies in modern movement

plot A

annie moves in with troy and abed. very trobedison centric

"kiss me woodsman troy!"

3/5 gayness once again casually in love they're soulmates your honor

3x09: foosball and nocturnal vigilantism

plot B

annie breaks abed's $200 special edition dark knight dvd set on accident, trobedison shenanigans ensue yippee!!!

"awww is that the grappling hook I got you for christmas???"

3/5 gayness for the same reasons as before

3x10: regional holiday music

part of plot A

literally putting this on here just because of the christmas infiltration rap (and baby boomer santa)

3/5 gayness it's glee club what can you do

3x11: contemporary impressionists

plot A

(once again, I know this episode is listed as 3x12 on streaming services, but in canon it's supposed to chronologically be here, and is listed as 3x11 on the dvds)

the study group helps abed pay off his debts to a celebrity impersonator website by playing characters at a bar mitzvah (after troy scolds them for trying to ground abed in reality)

they have an argument at the end ugh

3/5 gayness troy loves abed a lot and abed doesn't realize that he's doing something wrong

3x12: urban matrimony and the sandwich arts

plot C

(see the above disclaimer about episode order)

troy and abed decide to be normal for shirley's wedding rehearsal

troy and abed being normal 🤝

4/5 gayness they blow off a girl to be weird again

3x13: digital exploration of interior design

plot C

blanket fort: redux (oh god)

vice dean laybourne escalates what started as a minor disagreement in order to drive a wedge between troy and abed. it works

5/5 gayness, if a sitcom doesn't have the two codependent fanonical gays go through an unnecessarily dramatic "break up" then I don’t want it

3x14: pillows and blankets

plot A

🎶troy and abed are in conflict🎶 *cries*

pillow fort vs. blanket fort

they eventually make up but not before they hurt each others' feelings a Lot

5/5 gayness the dramatics jesus christ

3x16: virtual systems analysis

random moments

so this episode is more focused on abed and annie, and troy and abed actually don't Technically interact with each other very much at all, but. you know

abed kinda freaks out when troy and britta go on a date because it "messes with the fabric of the group" (🤨 I know what you are)

troy calls annie to "check on abed" boy you are on a date with a woman

4/5 gayness just from subtext you get it

3x17: basic lupine urology

random moments

troy and abed play detective as they try to figure out who sabotaged the group's biology project

"we can't both do the zinger"

4/5 gayness no explanation

3x19: curriculum unavailable

random moments

the study group is expelled from greendale and abed gets arrested for spying on campus, so he's supposed to have a psychological evaluation

troy is just very protective of him in this episode, plus the flashback clip where he and Annie are comforting him as he's freaking out about daylight savings

"our adventures are VERY manly"

4/5 gayness

3x21: the first chang dynasty

random moments

oof baboof with you two! (all the plumber shenanigans are hilarious)

mostly putting this one on here for the goodbye scene at the end of the episode, though. god

"he said, 'I know you hate when people do this in movies.' sorry I got emotional"

3x22: introduction to finality

plot B

abed "goes crazy" without troy (who's off at a/c repair school)

when troy comes back he prioritizes abed over britta (who he supposedly has romantic feelings for)

"I miss abed so much" "you're afraid you'll go crazy without troy"

4/5 gayness one could say they're a little codependent

4x03: conventions of space and time

plot A

troy gets jealous of (read: goes "psycho girlfriend on") abed's new inspector spacetime superfan friend toby

britta, even as troy's literal girlfriend, calls abed troy's boyfriend and supports troy through the whole thing

"for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come" let me just put my head through my wall really quick

5/5 gayness even though troy has a whole gf. that's how gay this episode is

4x11: basic human anatomy

plot A

troy and abed pretend to switch bodies, like in freaky friday, in order to help troy process his feelings about his relationship with britta

5/5 gayness holy SHIT y'all. I could write thousands of words on this episode. it is so hard to justify troy's actions in this one without reading him as a closeted gay person not lying

5x03: basic intergluteal numismatics

random moments

including this one because of how abed comforts troy and pushes him around in a wheelchair for the entire episode

3/5 gayness it's the casual married-ness again smh

5x04: cooperative polygraphy

random moments

this is another one I didn't include on my original list but I decided fuck it

the bit uncovering the actual origin of their patented handshake is so funny "I can't even look at you right now" "then you should know I'm crying"

also just the. look on abed's face when troy agrees to go on the trip at the end. "cool. cool cool cool." "that's a lie" UGHHHHH

4/5 gayness again. so typical

5x05: geothermal escapism

plot A

do I need to say a word

ouch ouch ouch OUCH

5/5 gayness especially the deleted dialogue from the last scene (I've posted it before but lmk if you don't know what I'm talking about. disclaimer it makes me want to launch myself off the empire state building)

alright. there it is folks. I was going to make another subsection of other random iconic trobed moments and cite the episodes they're from but basically every single episode has at least one, so that list would be Way too long to qualify as a supplement to this one lmao. however! if you have a Trobed Moment™ stuck in your head (or any Moment for that matter) and you can't remember which episode it's from feel free to ask me, I'm confident that my internal community database will be able to Remind You. anyway. hope this was helpful. bye

#did this instead of my heaps of missing homework assignments #I completely overbooked myself this semester but It's Fine haha #anyway #community #nbc community #community nbc #abed nadir #troy barnes #trobed #troy and abed #community tv #community encyclopedia

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

Note

WIBTA if I made my housemates sign a cleaning chart/rota/contract thing?

So I (20F) am a student and while it's currently the summer, I am going to be living with most of the same people I lived with last year when school starts again in Sept. These are friend A (20M), friend B (20M) and friend C (23M). Friend B's girlfriend (21F) lived with us last year, but in the coming year she will be living in the same building as us but not the same flat. She will probably be an unofficial 5th housemate.

Last year there were some issues, particularly in the cleaning department. The only two people who actually clean with any kind of regularity and competency are me and A. I've been a paid cleaner before and A works in a kitchen. The problem has been that B and C will be like "I'll do it later" then forget about it. I'm not a neat freak, I'm not bothered about carpets being hoovered at a particular time or dusting being done at a particular time. I do care about having kitchens and bathrooms that aren't biohazards. B and C will leave the kitchen and bathrooms until they start growing their own microbiomes before they'll do anything without prompting. I don't want to be some helicopter housemate standing over adult men being like "time to wash the dishes" but I am running out of options.

A and I both didn't stay in our uni town over the Easter break, and when we returned there was a sink full of orange mould waiting for us. This pissed me off more than usual because I had given the kitchen a very deep clean before I left and they just let it get to that state again, and their excuse was "Well we didn't really use the kitchen we had takeaways" but the evidence spoke for itself. I ended up deep cleaning the kitchen again, and A ended up deep cleaning the bathroom.

We tried a normal rota last year, but B and C half assed their stuff. Bins (in a house that had 7 people in it, so filled very quickly) would be left to pile out of the bin into some leaning tower of trash before they would take them out, but it was "in the deadline" so we couldnt complain without looking unreasonable. Neither of them seem to understand that you need to pick things up and clean under them too to have a clean space (wiping around cups left in the kitchen instead of like...washing them), and B's girlfriend tried to argue we didn't need to replace our broken hoover because we "didn't need one" and like I'm not that particular about carpets but come on? (This also wasn't a money thing, she's got rich parents who she has a good relationship with). A and I ended up having to do the same chore after them so that it was done to a competent standard where we wouldn't get ill.

A thinks they've both never had to clean up after themselves before and genuinely don't understand what it takes to live in a hygienic environment. I think it's weaponised incompetence. B's girlfriend had the nerve to say last term "going home really puts into perspective how gross this house is in comparison" and it took all my strength not to snap that if certain people got of their arses and did something we might actually have a sanitary house.

Anyway, my idea I might be the asshole about it that I think a good motivating factor might be money. My idea is if you dont do your chore/do it poorly, and someone else has to do it again after you, you have to pay them national minimum wage for their time you wasted. Currently NMW is £10.42 an hour. I don't actually want them to pay me and A, I want them to be motivated enough in not wanting to spend that money to be a competent housemate and clean the fucking kitchen. I sense though, that it might be too aggressive an action to take with people I'm going to be living with till next July.

Would that make me an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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papercupids · 11 months

Text

here (always).

pairing -> seungmin x reader. ft. bang chan.

warnings -> a lot of parental trauma on both y/n and seungmin's side, alcohol, seungmin is a jerk and then eventually transitions into something that resembles connell from normal people, some curses here and there.

word count -> 9.5k

summary -> as kids of the rival businessmen, all you and seungmin have been taught is to hate the other family with passion and to be better than them always, but its only about time when you fall in love with each other and he messes up. will he ever get to make it better?

a/n -> this is loosely inspired by our beloved summer (the kdrama) & normal people (the book + the show) and i've been writing this fic since august last year :") its only recently that i got the motivation to finish it !!! lemme know what y'all think??

listen to this playlist for songs that remind me of seungmin!

act i. last year of highschool, midterms result.

“And for the first place, we have two people who are quite close to the other, kim seungmin and-”

The microphone boomed through the filled but silent auditorium, everybody was on the edge of their seats about the midterm result, but one thing was certain, deep down, they knew it would be either you or Kim seungmin in the first place. It was annoying how many times jiung from section c, or geum hee from section a, and many others had wanted their name to be announced by the greasy voiced announcer but had failed.

Yes, you. You didn’t need to hear your name even to know it was you. It always has been that way, the both of you fighting for the first place.

“However, their results differ just by a point,”

This piqued your interest, you knew your mother wouldn’t let you live it down if you let seungmin win ever.

“y/n l/n, congratulations!”

Claps erupted from the hall and two rows from you, you could see seungmin smirk as he clapped too, but slowly and sarcastic, he’d lost but somehow he still managed to have that annoying smirk plastered over his face. You aren’t one to back down though, you bow down dramatically and offer him the most shiteating grin that you can muster.

From the last three years, it has been this way, both of you just a point ahead of the other or sometimes not even that, just quite literally neck to neck. And this, to the amusement of both of your parents, has become a regular topic of discussion at the dinner table.

It seemed like both of your families were destined to be rivals, your fathers in business, mothers in the bragging part and then the children in the academic stuff. And you weren’t quite sure why the two families would still insist on having dinner together occasionally, stabbing each other with words as much as possible.

“To y/n, to the perfect 499 you scored,” you rolled your eyes, as yeji fake toasted her water bottle, she knew you hated the whole thing because a) it was worthless b) even if you thought it was worthless, you had to work your ass off for it.

“I don’t know how you do it honestly, i’m practically dead with my 450,”

“You know i don’t have a choice,”

She nods understandingly.

"i feel bad for seungmin, you know, losing by just one point? he's gotta have a dent on his ego for sure,"

"let's rub it in," you smirk

The break was almost ending and you see seungmin entering the class, his friends cheering him on as well. You nod at yeji and get up, mischief on your mind, and tap at seungmin’s shoulder. The boys quiet down as they see you.

“Congratulations,” he extends his hand to meet yours.

“For losing to me again,” you wink as you sit on his desk.

“Oh, come on, all of us know, i just let you win,”

“You’re one sore loser, seungmin,” you roll your eyes and get up. “See you at dinner.”

The conversations resume but seungmin looks at you, chatting away with yeji then joining a couple of other people, picking up your backpack and then ultimately leaving the classroom.

He hated that he lost again, he knew very well he could have done better.

But then he shrugged, there’s always a next time.

the dinner was as crisp as the first few times, in one of those restaurants you could have a closed off booth. thankfully, or you didn't know what you would do if others could listen to the petty bickerings your parents were doing.

the greetings are through gritted teeth, seungmin looks completely dashing in a tuxedo, but his eyes are downcast. this was one of those times you felt sorry for the whatever jerk façade he had on, in school and here he was what he really could be.

it was fixed that whenever the results would be out, both of your families would go out for dinner, under the pretext of "celebrating their kids' hard work"

but you knew it was far from that, it was just something where they could brag about their own families and insist on paying the bill.

“So, seungmin, where are you looking at for college?” your mom asked, she wasn’t actually interested in knowing where seungmin was going she just wanted some material to compare you to later, to taunt you on how his choice would be better.

“Oh, actually, the same as y/n,”

“So the national university, then?”

He nods, chewing through his food.

“I doubt he’ll make it though, the way he’s studying,” his dad interjects.

And you swear you can see his face betraying him for a moment but he keeps a poker face as he says, “i’m gonna work harder, father,”

“You better,” your mum offers, “i want to keep on having these dinners, at least until you both bring your spouses to us, here,”

Seungmin’s mom chuckles, “yeah, then, you can continue the legacy, with your kids,”

You, for one, knew that this was something both you and seungmin could collectively agree on, to never do the same your parents did with your kids.

While you say your goodbyes, your mum holds you both and says, “i hope you get in the university, i really do, and you should work hard for it!”

“We will,” you both smile to each other before leaving.

Late that night, you have your headphones on as you look through your books, deciding what subject to study next as you munch on an apple.

This is the time you enjoy, the night, the silence, your music and-

The changing of the track allows you to hear the light taps on your window, and you run to it, light steps as if anybody would even pay attention to those sounds.

Sliding the window open, a brunette guy, about your age, comes inside, wearing a blue hoodie covering his head.

And kim seungmin.

“Hi,” he grins as you pull him in for a hug.

He smells of the outside, the night and the comfort. For as long as you live then, you’ll always associate this fragrance with someone you love - deeply, truly.

As you pull away, your face is just inches apart from his.

“I’m so proud of you,” he cups your face then kisses your forehead.

And then another kiss, this time on the lips. “I love you,”

This had been going for a while now, when two people are in the same shitty situation together, going through it with a person who’s having the same hell as you makes it easier.

Later, you’re on the bed, lying fully clothed, looking at the beige ceiling of your room, your hands intertwined, its the way he makes you feel, like there's no train you're running to catch, no flight that's leaving, you're here and he's here, it's content.

“Do you think i’ll make it? In college, i mean,”

You turn to look at him, “you’re one of the most intelligent people i’ve ever met, seungmin, you shouldn’t be doubting yourself just because your dad said so,”

“Right,”

you make a dissatisfied noise.

“Look at me,” you make him look at you, “we’ll both be alright, okay?”

“Okay,” a grin makes way on his face.

"i don't know though, i shouldn't doubt myself but everytime he says shit like this, i just end up wondering if i should really even do this, i don't even know if i'm capable enough, i just really don't want to disappoint him ever,"

"c'mon, minnie, we both know he's just frustrated and he can't find a better outlet than you because god knows how your mother would just stab him on the spot if he said something like that to her,"

"right, it just hurts sometimes,"

and you turn to him, brushing his cheeks with your thumb, "i'm sorry,"

he hums in response.

"you know i'm always here, right?"

you kiss him on the cheek.

he just smiles a little in response.

And you don’t know when you fall asleep, just that seungmin’s arms are the best place to sleep, better than any expensive pillow you could ever sleep on. When the sunlight hits your eyes, you’re alone, and much to your dismay, a pillow in place of where seungmin was.

In your chats with seungmin, he has attached a picture, of you sleeping, “i shall now blackmail you with this photograph - fail the next exam, or this is going to be on every phone in seoul haha”

You type back, “oh no shit i guess that way they can have a new wallpaper ;)”

Seungmin replies “🤢 i dont think ive ever seen anybody as narcissistic as you”

You quickly text back as you button your shirt, “yes u have”

Another text, “in the mirror”

To which he sends a rolling eyes emoji.

After saying goodbye and “see you at school” you quickly delete the chat with him before heading downstairs for breakfast.

You didn’t understand why seungmin insisted on keeping the whole secret, but then looking around at the breakfast table with your parents trying to explain to the cooks about some new diet they’d heard about from seungmin’s parents, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. The idea of a competition was instilled so deep into their minds that they wouldn’t have ever even thought about such a thing.

And at school, it’s the same day over and over again every week with the only relief being the student sitting about two benches ahead in the row next to yours. He smiled at you when no one was looking and a look passed between you both, which was somehow more precious than any grand gesture could have been.

And the nights, your favourite part of the day, where you could be yourself, no guards up. Just him and you and all of your plans for each other, some music too maybe, but that’s it. In those moments, no stress could touch you, no harm. It was just bliss, just you both.

In that moment, you swear you could see forever, maybe a lifetime with him.

But reality caught up with you in the morning, that even if a forever was there, with him for you, there were too many challenges in the way, challenges that were exhausting but you were still getting to them, one step at a time, as he kept your ship afloat.

just as the school year progresses, the one social event you'd been dreading catches up quick as you sit in the cafeteria, sipping on some apple juice as some members from the council are busy lining the hallways with banners of the school colours, purple with yellow, and on it, written in block letters, 'the annual dance.'

as if sensing that you are thinking about it, yujin takes a bite from a sandwich as she asks, "have you thought about who you're gonna take?"

"i don't think i'm gonna attend, it's useless anyway,"

"oh, come on, these are the years you'll later miss, you'll be 67 someday and when your kids ask you about the fun stories of your youth, you'll have nothing, do you want that?"

"i think you're just overdramatising it,"

"and you're not paying attention to me, you NEED to come,"

you sigh, there was sometimes no way to win an argument with yujin and you hoped somebody from the table would rescue you but all the other girls were engrossed in their own topics. most of them, about the dance.

the truth was, you would be lying if you said you entirely didn't want to go, because you did but you weren't sure what that would entail. and a small part, okay, alright not that small but it wished seungmin would ask you to the dance.

it seemed impossible with the status of your relationship in the public but you hoped you could get past it, because as yujin said, these would be the days you'd end up missing.

but anyway you weren't even sure if dances were even seungmin’s thing.

so you sipped the last of the apple juice as yujin ran you through the pros of attending the dance.

"you can ask hyunjin, he has literally been eyeing you since the freshman year,"

"ew, what no, come on, yujin,"

"well, what about yongbok then?"

"no,"

"jeongin?"

"as if."

"hey! what about seungmin?"

and you can't even muster a clever response to that, yujin, thankfully doesn't seem to notice that she's struck a nerve. she continues chewing through the rest of her food and then finally, sighing, "at least sleep on it, okay? i want you there, really,"

you thank your friend and then head back to class, an entire day of books, notes and more books awaiting you.

the upcoming nights, there are just texts, "i can't come, i'm too tired," and there was no way you could have made 2 steps out of your own home without being caught so couldn't really blame seungmin.

but thank god for facetimes then. whatever you were doing, whether it was making notes for biology or tidying up your wardrobe, he was there, watching you, smiling at your little circumstantial jokes.

and after he fell asleep, you would look up at the ceiling till you could fall asleep, wondering how long someone could keep a secret.

maybe college would bring something more solid, and promising for you both. you desperately hoped it would.

you don't know why but on this particularly cloudy day as your family decided to drive out for lunch, your mind went out to the day you first met seungmin. you had been known him since freshman year but this was the incident that really made you see see him, in a different light altogether.

it was about march, and the air was crisp with the onset of spring, it was the perfect day for your physical education period where everybody was pondering whether they should play dodgeball or volleyball and they were actually serious about it.

but you weren't quite in the mood to play, and looking back you didn’t even know if it was a lie or just something you were doing out of sheer boredom but you were heading straight to the nurse's office when you heard soft piano sounds from the auditorium because the door was slightly ajar and the tunes were so delicate and just flowing together that it almost sounded like someone was playing a prerecorded track.

but when you stepped in, you saw him, sitting on the bench and playing through, completely engrossed and as you move closer you realise he's also humming some lyrics.

you take a seat in one of the chairs, the melody providing a great relief to your ears as compared to the nonsensical chatter of your classmates and he's way too much into it to notice you there anyway.

and he slows down his movements on the piano as the tune ends on a light note, he finally turns, freezing when he spots you there.

expecting a snarky comment from you, he's picking up his backpack.

"that was good,"

he didn't think you were physically capable of compliments, so he just stood there, trying to make sense of it.

"thank you?"

"i didn't know you played, your parents never told mine i think,"

"don't tell them." it comes out as a threat when its actually meant as a request. he'd learnt how to play it from a friend and he didn't want his parents to know because they'd be all over him for wasting his time on something that 'unproductive'.

"oh, um, okay,"

and that was the day you began wondering about an aspect of the boy you were used to knowing, it became endearing to you the fact that he could have a whole lot of himself away from those pretentiousness of it all.

and after that it's just inevitable, somehow you keep bumping into each other, sometimes during grocery shoppings, sometimes during bus rides the seat next to him would be vacant and you'd just sit there. any enmity was just pushed back gradually, as if you both were just different people here, new versions of yourself, it was almost refreshing.

and then came the planned meetings, at cafès and small restaurants way too far from home so you couldn't have a chance to be recognised by anyone.

it just meant something that was meant to fall in place.

seungmin is tired; tired of sitting every day at the same dining table and being pulled apart, for every little thing he does or doesn't. he tries to concentrate on his food, on every strand of the noodles he's eating, on every crunch of the meat, so that the things he's actually meant to hear will tune out.

"and it's coming up," turning to him, his mother looks at him eagerly, "when is it?"

"when is what?"

"the dance?"

"somewhere in december,"

"seungmin, today is the 5th,"

oh, that could be the reason his face feels drier than usual, oh, it was also snowing. he needs to pay better attention to his calendar.

only if he wasn't spiraling though.

he's convinced the only thing that's keeping him rooted and connected to reality is you.

"i think before christmas,"

"have you asked someone yet?"

he imagines the kind of trauma he would unleash upon himself, all the members sitting on the table and the servers, who are alert at every movement each of them makes, to refill every glass to ensure the stew is hot, if he announces he's dating you.

it would be hilarious in some other universe, but right now he was here, and if he was going to survive anymore of dinner at the same table, he needed to be rational.

"i haven't yet, i plan to soon,"

"you better, i don't want to hear about my son being a complete loner who doesn't even date, we don't want you being labelled as 'the nerd',"

seungmin's mother sheepishly asks, "do you know if y/n's taking someone?"

"i don't know,"

he's not even sure what you think of dances.

"you need to be better, seungmin, be better,"

it's the one dialogue which keeps on playing in his head, long after he's asleep, even in nightmares the monsters aren't chasing him to kill him, they're asking him to "be better, do better," and it stings as he lets it slide like he always has.

everywhere around you, you can see people holding hands, newly in love, their futures after the dance unknown.

the public displays almost makes you want to throw up but then you kinda wish you were holding hands with that one guy across a few tables, too, he's smiling at something someone said but as he catches your eye, he smiles at you, blinking twice.

"i love you!" you want to scream to the whole cafeteria, standing on one of the tables. "i love you so much that i can't hide it anymore, i wish we didn't have to,"

it wouldn't be of any use, he's not keeping it under wraps voluntarily, and you know that.

the sandwich on your plate doesn't look quite desirable but you're hungry enough to eat it in slow and unsatisfactory bites.

there's a sudden pause in the discussions of the girls at your table, and yeji moves in closer to you.

"do you know who asked yujin to the dance?"

you arch your eyebrows and then look at the mentioned person who is engrossed in conversation with one of your other friends, karina, and they are most probably going through their outfits for the dance.

"uh huh,"

"your arch-nemesis,"

your hand froze at the side of the table where you kept it for support and you stopped mid way of chewing your bland sandwich, and stomach lurched out, threatening to make you throw up in front of the entire cafeteria. you just pray yeji can't see it.

"i'm so surprised, right? i've never even seen seungmin look at her even,"

and you can't process the rest of the gossip which she seems to nonchalantly throw around.

"are you sure?" you ask, you can feel your lips begin to tremble.

"what do you mean 'are you sure?' i saw it, he asked her in the library, and she rolled her eyes at him but then obviously said yes."

as the bell rings, you dump the rest of your sandwich in the trash, and walk back to class, where seungmin is settling in his desk and dropping the books for the period that's about to follow, on the desk.

since the bell is about to ring, people are hurrying about trying to fit in a few minutes of free time before the agony of the class begins and running around; someone once said, what the school truly is, you can only know at lunch time. or not. maybe you just made that up in your panic and anxiety as you approach seungmin wordlessly and grab his hand, leaving no room for argument as you drag him out of the class, to the staircase where no one cares enough to go and whoever does has already left.

"in public, y/n? really?"

you can't answer him, so you blankly stare at his face.

"you asked yujin to the dance."

he shrugs, how was everything of so little meaning to him?

"yes, i guess,"

"i guess? do i really mean that little to you?"

"y/n, are you hearing yourself? we can't be seen together like this and you know it's because our parents would rip out ours and each other's throats if they knew, and they wanted me to go to this bloody dance, which, by the way, i'm telling you already i won't be enjoying. and the last resort was asking someone other than you, it's not a big deal, really."

and the bell rings.

you don't even have anything to say so you withdraw your eyes from his; seungmin knows he's fucked up but he can't do anything about this.

he's sick of having things he can't control, but he can't do anything about that either.

the only thing that keeps him going is that he can change it, in the future. that it will be better.

and he walks away. the students, with their unpausing chatter are gathering inside the class again as he walks, and you stand there trying to figure out if the whole thing was just a bad, bad fever dream or maybe worse, a joke seungmin's family had planned, how easily can we make our son break hearts?

you wouldn't be surprised if it was one of their tactics.

and the rest of the day passes in a haze, like a flashback, but you do remember not looking at him even when you see him staring at you, you can't. you aren't sure how much of this hurt you could take, if your parents didn't want you to date then you shouldn't. period.

this was it.

and the next few hours, you spend putting your phone on do not disturb and you're surprised by how much you can study when you don't have anyone to distract you and don't have to constantly check your phone for notifications, maybe this was for the better afterall.

but as you slowly reach towards the end, you can feel your notes stain with your tears, god, fuck him.

and you can't even escape him in your own room, because every corner, there is something or the other connected to him, whether the plushie which smells just like him after he sprayed it with his perfume once or the watch he gifted you on your birthday, it's all there.

a pathetic thought creeps in your brain, you should just let him in, it's not his fault. and you knew it wasn't but you shouldn’t have been suffering either, it was unfair.

maybe all those road trips in the usa and the expeditions in maasai mara were meant to be just a dream. it just seemed worthless that you were stupid enough to think this could work anyway.

amidst the small chewing sounds and the slight clatter of plates on the table, mostly no one talks at the dining table, no one has to, anyway, they have nothing to talk about.

If you remove the whole bragging to neighbours and relatives aspect from your family, they could actually end up being pretty cool too, not interfering much in your life except your studies.

“You just need to study well, y/n, everything else will fall into place,” your mother always told you, she didn’t want you to be dependent on anyone, financially or emotionally. It was always one of her main principles, “stand on your own feet, then you can fall in love with someone, or not,”

So that part was pretty neat about your family. And you didn’t think your father was in quite a hurry to marry you off too, but you wondered if it’s just because you are just about to come of age, will things change soon? You hoped they wouldn’t.

After a lot of failed attempts and second thoughts, you finally clear your throat, and unnaturally which makes both of them stare at you.

“Mum, dad, i need to tell you something,”

He’s been trying to call you for hours now, every call being forwarded straight to voicemail.

He really had messed up, and if this proves anything it means he should have never listened to hyunjin rant about the dance, and how important making a move was, he just wanted to rewind time as far back as he could in the day and never pick up the books yujin dropped and ask her about the dance. How could he be so dumb?

“I don’t know what came over me, y/n, really, i’m sorry, please,”

And at that moment, a knock sounds at the door, “yes?” he calls out.

It’s his mother, holding a plate of different fruits, she pushes the door open with her hand and quickly shuts it off before balancing the plate again.

“Seungmin, have you been studying late again?” she places the plate on his study table, and ruffles his hair slightly.

“No, mum, just trying to revise a bit.”

And she sits on the corner of his bed, facing him and smiling endearly. “Good,”

“Have you talked about the date?” the topic he was dreading. Right now there was nothing else he wanted to talk about more, hell, he could even take her nagging right now.

“Yes,” he answered half-heartedly, “yes, i asked someone,”

“You don’t seem too happy about it,”

“Because i don’t want to take her,”

“Then do you have someone else you want to take?”

Yes. he could almost say it, could he? He wanted to shout, yes and i love y/n, a lot, at that.

“No, i just think dances are stupid,”

“Oh, well, you could just leave early, if you want, just dance a bit,”

She stands up and starts flattening the sheets on his bed, cueing that she’s about to leave, “oh also, who’s this bang chan?”

“Hmm, he was an alumni, a senior, why?”

“y/n’s taking him to the dance,”

“What?” he almost shouts, and then regains his composure.

“Well, obviously, their mother called,”

He doesn’t say anything, he just hopes his mother would leave the room soon and closes his eyes so she can’t see it, the tears.

After putting the pillows properly, she turns to leave.

“Sleep soon, seungmin,”

“Hmm,”

And as soon as the lock clicks, he opens them again, leaning against his desk, “fuck!” he whisper-shouts, running his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he bangs his palm on the table.

If it didn’t hurt like a bitch, he would have actually given it to you on how genius the idea was, how it had struck the exact nerves it was meant for.

He didn't sleep that night, he had too many mixed emotions inside him, he didn’t know what to even say to you, like what exactly even gives him the right to be hurt when he was the one who initiated the hurt on you first?

He had unknowingly made what was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

At the other side of the city, you were hurt, you had thought revenge would make it better but it couldn’t, it didn’t, you just wanted to be wrapped in seungmin’s arms again, and stay that way, forever. The plushie, a bear one, didn’t do much of a good job of a substitute.

and you couldn't believe that what you had put off doing for about over 6 months was so easily just done and it had went well at that.

"i'm dating seungmin,"

it had obviously garnered shocking reactions from your parents but only because of the abruptness of the confession.

"i mean, i was, not anymore,"

"well, i mean i could somehow see the both of you giving each other glances so this wasn't a surprise for me,"

your mother loved to know things, this was one of the things she knew, whether she was pretending or not, you couldn't tell but you went with it.

"why did you break up?"

"oh, well, he thinks it'll be a huge deal if his parents find out so he's not telling them and he asked someone else to then dance,"

"then you should, too," your father piped in.

"ask someone else?"

"yes, if there's anything we're gonna do is defeat them,"

and you laughed at the absurdity of it, but he was right, it would take the edge off.

so you'd call an old friend from school, chan, who was now in college, to come with you, that way it wouldn't even be weird.

the days leading to the dance brought extreme awkwardness, with neither of you knowing what to do in case of bumping into each other except admire the walls, or the ground if you do.

"bang chan's hot, god, how can you take him 'just as a friend'? you might at least have some hots for him, hmm?"

"nope, he's hot, i admit, but not my type,"

"oh, well, then what's your type?"

"i don't know but not chan,"

she signs and shakes her head.

"who are you taking?" you ask her out of curiosity but when she goes absolutely red in the face, it amuses you.

"i'm taking lia," she says quietly.

"oh my god, yeji! that's great, oh my god," you didn't know there was something going on there but you were glad it was, you could totally see it happening.

later in the day, in the library, you can sense some weird commotion and whispers a few tables away and to your absolute dismay, you spot seungmin there, along with a couple of his friends, so you go back to your book immediately.

when you glance again, one of his friends jisung was standing right beside you eagerly.

and you look at him questioningly.

"what?"

"um, y/n," he says. and you still hold the harsh, hostile look in your eyes, the few other people left on that table are looking sheepishly, including seungmin, who stole glances, seeming like he didn't really want to be interested in the topic but you know he was listening in, he had to be.

"i wanted to ask……"

"will you go to the dance with me?"

and you now glance directly at seungmin, really? lets say he couldn't tell his friends that he was dating you but he could at least have stopped one of his best friends to not ask out his girlfriend, no, ex girlfriend.

but you feel sorry for the boy in front of you.

"i would have loved to, jisung, but i already have a date,"

he gives an understanding smile and when he begins to turn away, you call out to him.

"but save me a dance, will you?"

as he turns to go, you look at seungmin, his sorry face hangs there, and you shake your head. this was the last straw.

The doorbell rings, and you look at the time, it’s chan.

You hold out your hand to your parents to stop photographing you, they’ve been doing that for the past half an hour, ever since you walked out all-ready.

“Chan!” you greet him as you smile at him, it’s been a good while since you saw him and he’s definitely finer than what he was, grew nicely into his features, yeji had told you about him and you could see it now.

He was holding a small bouquet of baby’s breath and as you lead him in, for a second round of photographs, he greets your parents and they make small talk too.

After posing awkwardly for a couple of photographs, you look at the time again, you should probably leave.

“y/n,” your mum calls out to you, and then whispers, “don’t think much about seungmin, okay? Don’t let him ruin your night,” you nod.

“Let’s go?” you ask as chan is talking to your father about something, nodding.

You put the bouquet on the kitchen counter, asking your mum to place it in a vase for you, and finally leave, your parents reminding you of your curfew.

“So,” chan holds the steering and looks at you, “long time no see, huh,”

You smile back, you’re meant to be happy today, no thoughts about seungmin please.

As he drives to the venue, the rest of the conversation is about how the school has changed, some digs at the teachers, and how your studies are going.

No one knew you were bringing chan, except yeji of course, but the others simply were quite engrossed in their own dates so much that they hadn’t asked and you didn’t think you would have told them either. But the thing with chan was that when he was your senior, he was The Crush, the guy everybody unanimously had a crush on, the nice guy, he was approachable, sweet, gentle, everything you could ever imagine being ideal, so you bet this won’t be something thats going to die down soon.

Seungmin spent the past week trying to figure out how he’ll face you, preparing himself for the moment you walk in with chan but no amount of preparation could have readied him for this, the look on your face as you walk in, your arms interlocked with his, he’d have thrown up.

“Everything okay?” yujin asks him.

“Yeah, yeah,”

The dance in itself is not a very airy place to be, with people crowding around every empty corner and the dim lights fluctuating and the music was also way too uptempo for him but for whatever reason it was, he waved back as his friends called out to him.

he could feel yujin looking at him as he slowly joined them, because she wanted to dance and he didn't and to avoid that conversation was easier than saying no.

"oh did you see chan? can't believe y/n out of people snatched him?"

"what's there not to believe?" seungmin was now looking at you both talking to a few friends of yours, arms still not apart.

"well, you know, you expect nerds to be a little anti social you know?"

"well, good for her i guess,"

and he feels her tug at his arm.

"seungmin, come with me,"

he follows, even though he knows what's going to happen, he just feels like these days despite knowing certain things are going to happen, he can't stop them from happening. odd.

"why did you even ask me?" this is the second question, he can't remember the first one.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to?"

"what?"

"i said, sorry i didn't mean to,"

"honestly seungmin, screw you, i can't believe i rejected felix for you,"

"i'm sorry,"

she's already gone.

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, it keeps on repeating in his mind, he's sorry, to you, to yujin, to everybody else. he wished he was better, he could be, he just didn't know how to.

be better, be better, it was what he kept on hearing a lot of and he wished somebody would give him a manual for that. he was trying his best, so where was he failing? he failed at recognizing that as well.

and now he can’t move from this staircase he’s sitting on, the muffled music can reach his ears but its not as bad now, his thoughts drown it out now. that and maybe the "small" amount of whiskey jisung gave him. he shouldn’t have done that either.

He leans on the wall, he should go home now, but he’s not ready to answer his parents’ queries so he sits there and waits, so he can go home peacefully.

He doesn’t know when he falls asleep in that position, his limbs huddled together for warmth but he feels it when someone puts an extra jacket on his shoulders.

In his drowsy state, he can still make out your figure, he’s convinced it’s a dream.

“y/n,”

“are you drunk, seungmin?”

he nods softly, he can feel a warm pang of guilt.

“I’m here,” and then looking at a figure beside you, you're talking to it, “can we drop him home? Its close,”

And he falls asleep again, in the backseat of the figure’s car, mostly because he still thinks he’s in a dream, an extended reality dream.

“I’m sorry, y/n, i’m so sorry,” he keeps on saying. He realizes now why he slept so hard and unconsciously that day, because he’d been not sleeping properly for about two weeks, tossing and turning and then ultimately just giving up trying to sleep at all.

He can’t walk properly, he sees you put his arm around your shoulders and lead him in, to the door.

“Will you go from here? Are you sure?” he nods, still yawning.

“Thank you,” you nod at him.

The car door slams as you sit inside, taking a minute to compose yourself as you look at chan. He’s already looking at you.

“You love him,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Loved.”

act ii. 6 months later.

he doesn't know how it happens but one second he's completely stressed about the first semester papers, trying to go through everything and anything he has missed, a sharp memory crosses his mind -

he's spinning in the chair that sits by your study as you lie on your back, questioning him about geography, there's a quiz the day after.

the moment that you look up at him, smiling as he gets an answer right is etched in his mind and its about to replay when a certain someone knocks over the table he's hunched over, nose deep in his books.

"hey," it's chan.

he's immediately embarrassed looking at him because the last time he met him he was just muttering sorrys and leaning over to you for support.

"oh, hey," he bows at him as chan takes the spot in front of him.

"long time no see!"

chan is a great person, he's very bright and he has that infectious aura of bright things except he doesn't want him here for two reasons, a) he's in stress, he'll get overwhelmed if he's not reading over every word and making sure he knows all of it, and b) he's not in the mood to be discussing the last time. this is the worst time to be bringing up the past.

Chan takes one of the books in front of seungmin and flips through it, “midterms, eh?”

He doesn’t wait for seungmin’s response but seungmin nods anyway, “don’t stress much, it’s alright,”

“Yeah, i’m just, cramming a little bit of last minute revision,”

“How have you been?” seungmin is just about to answer when chan’s phone rings, he says a little “excuse me,” and answers his phone.

“Yeah?” “oh, it’s 7 already? I didn’t realize,” “i was just in the library,” “yes, i’ll head over there now,”

He cuts the call.

“Hey, seungmin, c’mon, let's grab something to eat?”

“Oh no, no, it’s okay,”

“Just come on, we’d love your company,”

He wished he had asked who the “we” meant.

Chan wasn’t mean, he wasn’t a bad guy. Quite far from it, actually. So it came naturally to him to invite the poor boy for dinner. The boy he had seen, not even six months ago, breaking down pathetically in public. He just wants to be nice, he swears.

He doesn’t know or quite weigh the consequences, maybe because all of it is so spontaneous or maybe its his naivety on the subject. or maybe its the fact that deep down he doesn't like the way things were last time when he saw seungmin.

So when seungmin walks out with him, after gathering all of his books and pens and pencils from the library table, they talk about the college, the professors, the courses they’re taking and they pass by various cafes and little bookstores, and grocery stores. Seungmin loved this street, he’d walk around it every time things got overwhelming, to remind himself of the universe, of other people, of how small they all were, how small everything was. It was just comforting to him in an odd way.

They take a turn in front of a hamburger place and step inside, the pop music is a little too drowned out by the laughs of a group of people from their own university, they seem to be having a nice time.

And he’s looking around as chan seems to have spotted the table where they’re meant to be going, seungmin follows, scanning the place, he’s never had the actual nerve to go inside one of these places, mostly because he’d be too anxious to eat all alone and he didn’t have.. Many friends. Just one, his roommate.

In his peripheral vision, he sees the older male hugging someone and later pecking them on the cheek, was he third wheeling? He felt incredibly awkward in that moment but Chan looked back at him and called out to him, and he saw something which made him want to absolutely just regret everything he had done today that led up to this. Why did he get up on the left side of his bed? Why did he wear his beige shirt instead of the white one? Why did he go to the library when he could have easily stayed home.

You. standing there. Smiling until it froze uncomfortable, the smile. Neither of you expected the other there, it was a complete sneak attack. One that perhaps chan should have got the memo to not have arranged if he was there at all that night.

Chan wasn’t mean, really, but he couldn’t resist himself when he saw that boy on the table, all alone, his nose buried in the book, if memory serves him right he was somewhat popular in school, he’d have about five to six guys around him, not notorious at all, just good guys, who were popular. And Chan wanted to take a dig at him, the guy his potential romantic interest still couldn’t let go of.

And he should have known better, but at that moment it only seemed right to do it.

“are you crazy?”

“i really thought it would be nice for you to reconnect,” to say you were angry was an understatement but chan, at the same time was calm and composed which made you all the more angry.

“reconnect? after you saw what happened that night? after i told you how much i was still hurting because of him?”

“well, then wouldn’t it be a little better to talk?”

“NO!”

“oh, well, then, i’m sorry, i just thought it’d be too rude to not invite him since he already looked lonely,”

you sigh, there was no way it was that, you’d learn that in the months of being around him that he was nice, really nice, but sometimes he didn’t think much about the consequences, it was part of why you’d never date him, even if he kept on asking you to go out with him, on multiple occasions.

despite getting over the dinner, making minimal and formal conversation, like you didn’t know each other inside out, it just kept playing in your mind that exactly a year ago, you were looking forward to this, on how this would be the best part of your lives.

but this did confirm what you had long thought to be true, that you would never actually hate seungmin, in fact, never would stop loving him.

as you said your goodbyes, you wanted to do nothing more than leave chan’s side and run towards seungmin, join him, have him tell you how his year had been going, how did he convince his parents to agree to him pursuing music as a subject when all along they wanted him to go into computer science.

“chan,”

this was your stop, your cozy little apartment, the one you wished seungmin could come into, this time by the front door.

he looked up, and you smiled at him.

“it’s okay,”

he smiled, too, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He knew that instead of the outcome he thought of getting, by putting your past in front of you suddenly, it wasn’t going to go the way he wanted to.

you love him, still.

your hand hovered over the contact that you hadn't blocked but the message had been left on seen for quite some time. a blank profile picture and a username that you once thought would be tagged in a soft launch.

the last few messages sound desperate.

"y/n… please, sorry, hear me out at least,"

"i miss you, i'm sorry, can we talk, please?"

"y/n…."

that’s all. you remember debating hundreds of times, to text back, to call him, to ask him, to let him apologise. but it didn't end up happening.

a few days after that awkward meeting, it’s a tuesday, and you're so tired of it all already that you're yet again debating dropping out of college. it’s the day of the week when it was particularly hard because they all had engagements or plans for dinner, but you.

maybe you can blame that you've never seen seungmin around on the fact that you were never sure if he was actually around but now that you do know he's around, it seems like every face kind of resembles him.

so when you get out of the library on that particular tuesday evening, anticipating yet another convenience store dinner, you’re too egoistic to admit that you were relieved to see the real seungmin there, even if you have no clue on how to react or respond to the fact that he's standing right there in the same aisle - browsing different types of jam and this seemed to be the only way for you to get some coca cola.

he gives you an awkward smile as he holds two bottles of the jam, there’s strawberry and an orange jam.

"hey," it's a soft one, but you can tell by the tone that it isn't out of a simple obligation for him to say hi, he genuinely does seem to be wanting to talk to you.

you walk to him slowly. "hi, what’s up?"

"can you choose one?" he points to the bottles.

a bit later, you’re sitting inside a restaurant you had frequented for only the first month of you starting uni, quickly growing sick of the same dishes over and over again but since it was a close option, it was doable.

"i told my parents before the dance," you confess, he looks surprised, yes, but it wasn't one of the reactions you imagined, he wasn’t hyper or overly interrogative of you he just nodded.

"well, kind of a similar thing happened for me," he says quietly.

and seungmin explains how he felt like a complete pressure cooker in the days that led upto your breakup and that it finally lost control the day after the dance. he had a complete breakdown and something he always expected, happened.

although his father still doesn’t talk to him and neither does his mother except asking him once in a while about how he’s doing, he actually feels content with himself, all his life he’s done everything his parents wanted but he really couldn’t have lived with himself if he had let them dictate his life here as well. and he’d made a mistake by not speaking up sooner, maybe he would have had you still if he did, but at least eh improvised on it

he hesitates a little when he gets to the last part, and an awkward silence follows, but you’re glad you have food left on your plate so you can pretend to be interested in it.

"so, music, huh. what instrument?"

"piano.."

you smile at the memory, it seems such a long time ago that you met at the auditorium, you were so unaware about the memories you would hold with this person.

"i'm learning the guitar as well,"

"you should play for me sometime,"

you mentally slap yourself for saying that, it was too soon to have ideas for meeting again but it seems like your mouth had a mind of its own. thankfully, seungmin isn't very aware of the debate inside your mind.

"obviously,"

another period of silence follows, in which seungmin grapples with the aspect of asking a question that he isn't sure if he should ask or not, but then gives in, the worst has already happened.

"so, you and chan are a thing?"

you accidentally let out a laugh. ever the curious man, your ex.

"no, no," you shake your head. "i mean i like him, he likes me, we're friends alright, and it helps to have someone who knows his way around, so that's why we hang out,"

"oh, that’s pretty cool. i wish had someone like that,"

seungmin feels so relieved right now that he could break into a dance, he could even grab the waiter by the collar and grind on him. he was just that happy.

as you leave, he points to the opposite direction of where you're heading, "that side's me,"

"alright then i'll see you later,"

but he turns around quick, “hey, wait, y/n,” you give him a questioning look.

“i can play the guitar for you, if you want."

in your more than a year of being together, you’d never seen seungmin’s room, mostly because he was too scared for you to come there although he would like to give an excuse of he didn’t want you to walk alone to and back from his place. but deep down, you did kinda know the reason, you’d have been pretty blind to not.

so when he enters the number on the keypad, you look away. and as he invites you in, he rushes to put a few things into place, straighten the sofa, and take the dirty plates to the sink. there are notes lying around but mostly a guitar, just sitting on the sofa.

“uh, would you like something to drink or eat?”

“did you forget we just had dinner?” you laugh.

“okay, okay, yeah. i’m sorry, i’m just nervous.”

after making you promise to not laugh at any bad notes here and there, he finally starts playing. it’s clear that he is nervous, and he has a certain blush on his face. but you take this moment to scan him. this seungmin compared to the one that you dated, it seemed to be really different. there was an obvious change in the way he carried himself. he was struggling with himself but not in the way that he was before, this time he seemed free. free from carrying his family’s pressure everywhere he went.

he played some taylor swift song from her initial days because he liked the country genre and he’s good at it. why he would think that you would laugh at him was beyond you.

“you’re really good at this, minnie, uh, seungmin.”

it grows awkward as your old nickname for him slips out and he ultimately puts his guitar aside.

“i want to say……” he sighs. “there’s no easy way to say this, but i’m really sorry, y/n, for all the things that happened back then, i can’t skip the accountability because i reallly messed up but believe me when i say i didn’t really mean for it to happen, it was just a really bad time.”

you nod, “it’s, um, alright, i thought about all of it and it’s alright, we were really immature,”

“me more than you,” he comments.

“yeah, but it’s alright, what matters is that you’ve changed, and for the better, look at you playing all these instruments, it’s admirable,”

he blushes a little, “thanks,”

after that one meeting, you’d been texting seungmin, on one excuse or the other. you’d forgotten your scarf that night in his apartment so he suggested you could grab breakfast together and he could hand it over.

or later when you asked him if he wanted to study together for abit, which spoiler, did not end in you both studying because as compared to your school days you didn’t have pressure to absolutely be the best but you could actually enjoy the process.

chan is.. upset, but deep down he did know that he didn’t stand a chance because he could tell that you were never over seungmin, so he gracefully stepped back. and he’s seen you around campus, hanging out with him, and he was happy that you were actually enjoying his company.

“you know what would be really funny now?” seungmin laughs as you’re both sitting on your sofa, you’ve called your friends over to introduce them to seungmin. you’ve been hanging out with him for over a week now and they wanted to know who this new guy was. none of them really knew it yet that he was actually the ex you started crying over when you’ve had too much to drink.

“what?” you ask, opening up a packet of chips meant for later, sit down next to him and then pass it to him.

“well, you could pretend you never dated me in front of your friends,” and his voice drops a little low, “like i did,”

“seungmin,” you place the packet aside and take this chance to do something you’ve wanted to as soon as you saw him again, kiss him. his lips are so gentle, and you’re so, so thankful to the entire universe out there that he exists at the same time as you, and that eventually made his way back to you. and as he kisses you back, you can sense the desperation in his actions, he reaches his hand out to rest at your waist but hesitates, so you place them there.

“i would never pretend about that,” your face is still so close to his. he feels like he could cry, seungmin never really thought he could have you back, he feels relieved right now, he has the world in his palms now. he pulls you in close through the grip he has on your waist.

“i’m never letting you go again,” he whispers in your ear.

and the bell rings.

“is this a bad time?” giselle and ningning look at you suspiciously, “why do you…..?”

as they enter and look at seungmin, the puzzle solves itself, “okay…”

“actually we just thought of something we had to do, so what we’re going to do is leave,” giselle announces, dragging ningning out the door despite your protests to join the party. you also hear her call somi, “change of plans…”

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worstghost · 1 year

Text

a little john price drabble for yall

let me know if you'd want any more, I'm kinda tempted to write something where he teaches the reader a few things ;b

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Price stays back with you one night when the team goes out to celebrate. He can sense that you don't want to be alone, but you didn't really want to go out either. He internally curses himself for being so attuned to your feelings, but it's not something he can help, his heart had just decided it was meant to be soft for you, and you only.

He loved his team, there's no denying that. But this was different. You had joined so young, fresh out of sniper school, bright eyed and bushy tailed. He ached to think that you'd never be that way again, and he could see it now as you two sat in his office, sharing a bottle of scotch, that you were mulling over the mission. He knew the feeling, replaying it, thinking of everything that could have been done differently.

"Kid." He breaks the silence and you glance up at him, "It's not worth stressin' over. Believe me."

You hum and turn your head away, tapping the side of your glass. You weren't actually thinking about the mission. You were caught up in this, alone in your Captains office, sharing his favorite drink, trying to not let it go to your head. You were embarrassed to even think of him this way, but how could you not? He was always so kind to you, always knew what to say.

"I'm not stressing over that." You admit softly, finishing your drink.

Price raises an eyebrow and sits in the chair closest to you, leaning in a bit. "What is it then? Hm?"

You swallow hard, oh god he has to know what you're thinking, right? You can't even look at him. His eyes are too interested in what you have to say, too intense.

He's watching you, noticing the red flushing your cheeks, is it from the alcohol or are you blushing? The thought that he could make you blush feels good.

Professionally he knows it's a bad idea, to get involved with a new young recruit, but personally, he doesn't really care. You're all he can think about. He watches you always, bursting in pride when you succeed on a mission, feeling the slow heat of jealousy creep up when you excitedly hug your teammates after.

But he knows you always look at him after, waiting and wanting for his approval. And all he can do is smile and nod.

And now, you're looking up at him, eyes wide, and you let out a soft 'Captain...' and he can't think of any reason why he shouldn't kiss you.

Luckily, it's not his decision, as you push forward and press yourself against him, connecting your lips.

He hesitates when he sees your lashes start to flutter open, but corrects himself quickly and pulls you back to his mouth, one hand threading through your hair. You're so fucking soft, it shouldn't feel this good, he knows. But how could he say no, it would be cruel to deny you, wouldn't it?

You're not exactly a great kisser, but he can't find it in himself to care, instead he decides to show you how. He moves even closer and tilts your head back into his palm, slipping his tongue between your teeth. The little noise you make is enough to last him a life time.

Only when you pull away to breathe does he think of the consequences. Your lips are pink and swollen and your eyes are glossy, and he fears for a second that you're going to cry.

"I'm sorry... I've only really ever kissed maybe two people. I can't imagine I'm any good." You fluster and touch your lips with gentle fingertips.

Fuck. Of course. You're so young, so shy, you wouldn't have kissed a lot of people. But then that makes him question whether or not you've ever had sex. The thought makes him draw in a ragged breath, like the air was punched from his lungs. It's not his place to ask.

"Love..." He tries to think of where to go from here. He feels guilty almost, for reciprocating so quickly. He should have at least pretended he wasn't interested, right?

Price decides that you've had too much to drink, you're not thinking clearly. As much as it pains him, he has to let you go for now.

He reaches forward and touches the side of your face, huffing when you lean into him. "Listen. I can't put you in this position, come back to me when we haven't been drinking, if it's something you really want."

Your eyebrows draw together and you frown, pulling back. "Oh. You're right, I'm sorry." It's hard to hide the hurt in your expression, and he falters when he sees it. He follows you to the door, one big hand pressed against the small of your back.

You leave with a quiet 'Goodnight, Captain.' And he watches you go.

Price sits down, rubbing his rough palms over his eyes, scratching at his beard. He hopes you come back another time. When you're both a little clearer, when you're certain you want him.

That's all he wants.

#cod #cod mw2 #x reader #imagine #call of duty #mw2 #captain price #john price x reader #john price #drabble #cod imagine

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ventiij · 8 months

Note

This is the first request I've ever sent lol, I was wondering if you could write NSFW! Xingqiu Alphabet?

sure! after all, it’s not always that you get Xingqiu as your first …👀 request.

(boy is so underrated help)

i apologize in advance if point q doesn’t really make sense smh, i just couldn’t find anything more suitable lol. anyway enjoy.

minors run away in 3, 2, 1

a - adoration (is he into it?)

yes, very likely. even if he is the gentleman type there’s just something in him.. and of course, as much as he loves taking compliments, he will give them back, if you like.

b - bottom (ntm to say)

yeah he’s definitely submissive towards you, maybe power bottom at times? still tho: not long after you get started, he can’t help but submit and be good for you. make him do anything, after all, he’s been waiting for it since he read that one book (of his many, all for the same purpose) and imagined you two as the main characters.

c - cock (lenght)

slightly less than 15cm but doesn’t really care, like, dear… TRUST anything above that is just extra not just on him but where is all that going? nowhere near me ty

d - dress up (what kind of clothing does he wear during it or beforehand?)

you could have him dressed up like in any dress, ex. a maid one, litterally use imagination he’s chill, may act a lil shy at first but gives up soon enough. after he acknowledges that you’re into it tho, you can clearly see how he found his new favourite way to tease you.

e - embarassement (how does he take teasing amd such while he’s sensitive?)

after you tease him with words, he’s all red with his eyes closed just listening, not saying a word and just enjoying the feeling

f - face (best face he pulls)

eyes closed, small pout ad he drools a little

g - g-spot (how does he act when you hit it?)

he becomes super loud and he whimpers so much. ability to talk? gone. he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing unless you point it out.

h - horny (where, when, how much?)

after reading a book about it and just imaginating the things you could’ve done to ruin him. not that much unless it really got him into thinking about you and his thoughts just run wild.

i - impact (that the first time had on him)

he liked it so much and then you comforted him right after, so he understood he could come to you in case he’ll want it to happen again (he will)

j - juice (again, explains by itself)

the quantity depends on how much he’s in the mood and how much you tease him and vice versa, but nevertheless feels so good to him. tries not to be too loud the first time, but if he’s really overwhelmed he won’t be able to control his voice.

k - kids (pregnancy kink yes or no)

no and don’t question this.

l - lemon (what does he think about it)

right before having sex, he loves it. it turns him on and he immediately gets the message.

m - masturbation (yes or no?)

not usually, only if he’s really really down bad to do it and you aren’t there. if you are there tho and you order him to do it, he will. he wants your eyes on him the whole time. give him more orders and pass your time like that, he’ll put on a great show for you and you only

n - no (things that aren’t allowed)

don’t ruin his tender, porcellain skin: no knifeplay or anything like that. you can tie his hands, sure, but don’t use ropes all over his body too often, if he feels too much pain that will be an extreme turn-off.

o - osmanthus wine (tastes the same as i remember but where are those who share the memories)

o - obedience (featuring point b)

he’s so obedient, yes. he knows if he’ll be obedient you’ll reward him and he’ll look forward to it the whole time.

p - positions (which one does he prefer?)

when he’s sitting on your lap: he prefers to be close to you, to feel everything he can.

q - queue (do you have to wait to have sex, in case he’s busy?)

depends on what he’s doing. reading a book? alright, he’ll stop for now. just a few dozens of pages left to finish that huge book he bought last week? hell no, know your place.

r - rest (after it)

he needs a lot of rest because he puts a lot of effort into both pleasing you and feeling a lot of sensations at the same time. he’s exhausted and he’ll love it if you take care of him, after all, he’s been good, no?

s - stress (not during it)

defo uses it as an excuse to get some attention from you, something like: “can you take my mind off of some things..?” and then becomes the naughtiest thing you thought could come out of this

t - tongue (does he like when you use it or when he’s using it?)

oh yeah, definitely. boy liked having all your attention in general so pushing it even more will just please him as much as possible

u - urges (during it)

to cum. if you deny it, he’ll start whining and play victim, deny it even more. he’ll be so desperate and cute for you that he just fulfills your desired until you give him consent to finally release.

v - volume (is he loud? quiet?)

he tries to be quiet most of the time, but as soon as he cums, he’s so loud. he’s so sensitive so he can’t help it.

w - wow (a thing you didn’t expect from him)

that he tends to come to you whenever he’s feeling horny without being all that shy. no big words or so, he just asks you to fuck him right away and, how could you say no? he really does rely on you for this one.

x - xoxo (kisses before, during and after it)

before it, it’s just as i said in point l, during it, they’re even hotten and expecially wet. after it, the kisses are just soft and cute, as a form of appreciation and trust.

y - yummy (using mouth - jobs, eating out etc)

yeah as said in point t he likes every bit of attention from you and will carve it no matter in which way you plan on giving it to him.

z - zappy (things he’s excited to do, featuring the previous points)

g, j, l, p, u

#sub xingqiu #xingqiu x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact x you #xingqiu

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mandos-mind-trick · 11 months

Text

BobaDin A/B/O Teaser

Read part 1 of the full fic here!!!

Summary: Boba and Din met before his fall into the Sarlacc pit, after Din was stranded during his heat with no suppressants. They parted ways after, both of them content to pretend it never happened, except that's not possible for Din. Boba tracks Din down, only to find he's in for a surprise when he meets the omega Mandalorian once more.

Pairing: Alpha Boba Fett x omega Din Djarin

Warnings: A/B/O universe, implied mpreg, Boba's kind of a softie in this part at least, very AU post Mando season 2, fluff and cuteness but also kind of sad, named child character cause plot.

A/N: I posted this a few months ago but took it down after it kinda flopped. There's been some renewed interest in it today so I've decided to repost it. There's a post on my page regarding the universe this exists in and some background. I was in a mindset when I wrote this and I am very sorry. Also kind of cuts off awkwardly at the end cause I just...stopped writing at that point.

@rosechi and those anons from earlier made me do it.

He holds her close, closer than he ever has. All the times he had left her, all the times he had been forced to leave on hunts was nothing compared to the last few days. She had been taken from him by someone who wouldn’t think twice about hurting her. He had been careless leaving two children alone like that. He had been thankful at first that she hadn’t just been killed. Perhaps Gideon had thought it would only hurt him more if he took both of them.

He had done what he promised he’d do. He had rescued both of them, and he had gotten Grogu back to his kind. Still, there is an ache in his chest, a hole forming as Grogu gets further and further away. As much as he wants to curl into himself, let his instincts take over, he has a pup to support. A distressed pup who had just lost a member of her aliit.

He sinks into one of the seats, holding her tight against his chest. He lets his helmet drop to the floor, uncaring if the other two in the ship come down and see him. He’s projecting his scent a bit, trying to calm his pup. It’s a bit dangerous with an alpha close by, but he can’t care. His pup needs him.

“Shh.” He shushes her, pressing her face against his neck.

“I m-miss him.” She cries, clinging to his cloak.

“I know.” He says. “Remember what we talked about? Grogu had to go back to his kind. To his own aliit.”

“But he’s our aliit.”

“Only for a little while, remember? Until we found where he belonged.”

She continues to cry and he can do nothing but let her. It pains him to scent her distress, but she needs to let it out. The best he could do is offer her comfort.

She cries herself to sleep, still clinging to him. He leans his head back, trying to process the last couple days. It felt like a fever dream. He had been so scared, so desperate to get them back, to make sure they were safe. He’s exhausted.

Boba climbs down the ladder a while later. Din had put his helmet back on, needing to feel secure. Needing to feel safe. The alpha sinks into the seat next to him, removing his helmet with a sigh.

“How is she?” He asks, glancing sideways at the pair.

“Upset.” Din answers.

Boba hums. “Losing a family member is never easy.” He looks at Din. “How are you?”

“I’ll manage.” He answers shortly.

Boba stares at him for a long moment. “What will you do now?”

Din sighs. He had been trying not to think about that. What is going to happen now? He’d finished what he had been tasked with. Did he go back to hunting? It would be hard with Vira. He didn’t want to start leaving her for long periods again. Not after spending so much time with her. His instincts screamed at the idea of being parted with her again. Did he try to track down a covert? Take his place among Mandalorians once more? “I don’t know.” He finally answers honestly. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Join us.” Boba says. “We’re going back to Tatooine. I’m going to take over Jabba’s palace, become Daimyo. Come with us. Let me spend some time with the pup I didn’t know existed.”

Right. This was his pup as well. He’s not sure how he could forget. She looked just like him. Perhaps because it was a bit unreal still.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Boba asks after a moment of silence.

“I tried looking for you after she was born. Everyone I found said you were dead.”

Boba leans back in his seat once again. “I almost was. I never thought...” He shakes his head. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s alright. I’m not sure I would have made it had you not been there.” Din adjusts his hold on Vira, easing her into a more comfortable position. “I wouldn’t trade her for anything.”

Boba stares at her, able to see her face from the new position. A small smirk forms on his face, a quiet chuckle leaving him. “Those Fett genes are strong.”

Din can’t help but smile under his helmet. “There’s no doubting it.”

Boba smiles. “I’m serious.” He lets his eyes flit to Din’s helmet. “Come with us. Let me take care of you. Both of you.”

Din leans his head back against the seat. Boba’s words strike something deep in him, all his repressed instincts flooding to the surface. He had been on his own for so long. Forcing himself on suppressants, holding every alpha he came across at arm’s length. He did it for himself, and he did it for Vira.

Was this his chance to take a load off his shoulders? To share in carrying that weight of his instincts and his pup? Fett had proven himself loyal and trustworthy over and over again. Vira was his pup. He could take her if he wanted, and force them apart. Din knows he won’t. Boba knows how much family means to Mandalorians. Boba was offering them a place of belonging, a home. He would care for his pup, and Din as the bearer of his pup.

Din doesn’t realize he’s crying, quiet gasps crackling through his modulator. Boba is crouched beside him, hand on the back of his neck. It’s not a cruel touch, it’s not a scruff like some alphas would do to control an omega. It’s comforting. Grounding.

“Let me help you.” He says softly, thumb stroking the column of his throat. The touch is jarring, after so long without any touch at all.

“I owe you so much already.” Din gasps out, the tears not stopping.

“You don’t owe me anything.” Boba says. “I would have helped you even if she wasn’t my pup. If you think you need to repay me, do it by coming with us.”

Din closes his eyes, letting himself just feel. He hadn’t been this close to an alpha in six years. He never thought he’d see Boba again, much less be working with him. He knows the restraint it must have taken for Boba not to march onto the cruiser and take out Moff Gideon himself to get his pup back. The pup he hadn’t known existed until just a couple days ago. He knew Din was the one who had to do it, was the one who had to protect his aliit.

Boba could be aliit too.

It would be so easy to let him in, to give over to instinct. He had been carrying the weight for so long. How nice it would be to let go for once.

*****

He wakes in a bunk. For a moment he forgets where he is, what had happened. He’s back on the Crest, tucked into his bunk, the place that had been his home for years. But the Crest was destroyed. He had been on Boba’s ship, heading wherever after he had rescued his ade.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, or even moving to the bunk. Boba’s scent floats around him, muted a bit by his helmet. He resists the urge to take off his helmet, bury himself in the scent. Instead he turns on his side, the blanket that had been tossed over him falling to the floor. Something feels off as he lays there in the silence.

Vira.

He sits up so fast his helmet hits the top bunk, but he ignores the vibrations rattling his head. He hits the button on the wall, light flooding the small space as he steps out, eyes searching the ship for his pup.

He doesn’t have to look long, finding Fennec standing in front of one of the viewports holding her. She’s staring out at the blue of hyperspace, eyes open wide and mouth agape. Din breathes a quiet sigh of relief, approaching the beta and his pup.

Vira turns to him, a big smile on her face. “Look, buir!” She points out the viewport.

He turns to look, eyes trailing over the giant creatures. “Purgil.” He says.

She stares at them in awe, Fennec eyeing him. “Don’t work yourself up.” She says. “She was getting squirmy. You need the rest.”

“I didn’t take you for the nurturing type.” He says.

The beta gives him a look. “I’m not.” But the way she looks down at Vira says otherwise.

“Will you be okay for a few more minutes?” He asks.

“I suppose.” Fennec says, motioning for him to go ahead.

Din climbs up the ladder to the cockpit, quietly sinking into the passenger seat. He stares out at the blue of hyperspace for a moment, watching it flash by.

“We’ll be dropping out of hyperspace near Tatooine shortly.” Boba says, his gaze facing forward as well.

“If I come with you, what exactly do you expect?” Din asks, trying to put his thoughts into words. He feels vulnerable in the presence of the alpha, even though Fett was nothing but relaxed.

“I’ll need your help.” Boba says honestly. “Taking Jabba’s seat will be easy. Getting Mos Espa to agree will be the hardest. There will be a lot of pushback, I expect, not just from the families. The Hutts will have their own opinions. I need muscle, someone to back me up.”

“It sounds dangerous.” Din muses.

“It will be, at least at first.” Boba agrees. “I wouldn’t blame you for saying no.”

“And Vira? I can’t afford to put her in more danger.”

Boba turns to face him, and though Din can’t see the look on his face, he can feel the change in the alpha. “I may not know her, but I promise I will give my life to protect her.”

“And me?” Din says quietly, his brain starting to buzz under the intensity of the alpha. “What do you expect from me?”

“Nothing.” Boba says, turning back around. “It would be your decision. If you want suppressants, I’ll be sure we have extra. You’re always welcome at my side, even if it’s nothing more than as an ally.”

******

Fett had been right. Taking Jabba’s palace had been easy. Despite Din’s insistence, Boba had forced him to stay on the ship with Vira as he and Fennec went in and cleaned house. Din is quietly grateful for the moment of rest. He feels weary, a type of weary he hasn’t felt in a long time. He could have forced himself to do it, but he can feel the exhaustion deep in his bones as he sits on the floor of the ship.

It’s the same weary he had felt when he had been stuck without his suppressants. The same weary he’d felt after he’d had Vira. The same weary he’d struggled with after he decided to leave her in the care of the covert and returned to bounty hunting.

He needs an alpha.

His omega yearns for an alpha.

He has an alpha.

Boba had been forward in his implications. He would take that position, if Din wanted it. It wasn’t that Din didn’t trust Boba. He owed a lot to the alpha. Boba had been the one that found him stranded without suppressants, half dead after being thrown into his first heat in years. Boba had cared for him, fought against every instinct telling him to sink his teeth into Din’s shoulder, and got him on a ship back to civilization.

He had also, inadvertently, given Din a pup.

Vira had been born not long after the fall of the Empire. Din had waited a year and a half before he began his search, traveling all the places the bounty hunter frequented. He heard the same thing over and over, that Boba was dead. Fell into a sarlacc pit on the very planet they were on currently. Din had given up his search not long after he started.

He knew he’d likely raise Vira by himself. If he had found Boba, he’s not sure what the bounty hunter’s reaction would have been. He could have taken Vira for himself, raised his pup as he had the right to do. Din had wrestled with that idea, but had ultimately decided to seek out the alpha, if nothing more than to just tell him he has a pup. He deserved to know. It was why he didn’t hide the truth from him on Tython.

He could have lied. He could have easily claimed Vira as someone else’s.

No, he couldn’t have, he thinks as he stares at the pup seated on the floor between his legs, pushing Grogu’s ball back and forth. He runs a hand over the unruly, thick curls that were messily pulled back into a bun. She looks up at him with those deep, dark eyes. She’s practically a carbon copy of Boba.

A clone.

She grins up at him, cheeks dimpling. That was his, or at least he thinks so. He’s never actually seen Boba smile.

Despite the grin, she looks tired. He knows she has to be, just looking at her. Fennec had been right, calling her squirmy. She’d always been wild, always been on the move. He’d constantly heard it when he returned to the covert. She’s smart, but she can’t sit still.

Normally she would have been all over the ship, exploring, getting into things. A chord of fear runs through him for a moment, something he hadn’t thought of in the whirlwind since they’d been taken. He knew the Empire needed Grogu for some sort of experiment they were doing.

What if they did something to her?

There wasn’t anything they could possibly need from her. Unless they tested something on her? He wouldn’t put it past Gideon to try and make him pay for taking Grogu not once, but twice.

He can’t fight it, the building anxiety deep in his stomach. He feels like he’s spiraling out of control, like a ship about to crash. Vira’s smile falls as she senses the distress welling in her bearer.

Din jumps as a hand lands on his shoulder. His fists close around the fabric of his pants, trying to steady himself. Boba is kneeling next to him, a hand on his shoulder.

“Easy.” Boba soothes him, gently squeezing his shoulder. “What’s got you all worked up?”

“What...what if Gideon did something to her?” He asks, looking down at Vira who is watching them cautiously.

“We can’t know for sure that he didn’t.” Boba says, turning to look at Vira. “How do you feel, ad’ika?”

She shrugs. “Okay. Sleepy.” She rubs her eyes.

“See,” Boba says, helping him stand. “She’s fine. You need rest. Both of you do.”

Din leans down, lifting Vira into his arms. Boba was probably right. They couldn’t know if Gideon did something to her. If it was anything of consequence, they’d have to wait and see if anything happens. He doesn’t want anything to happen. The thought of something happening to her because of his own recklessness has his stomach churning. He feels like he could be sick.

“Come on.” Boba leads him forward with a hand on his back. “We’ve cleared out the upper rooms. Most of it was empty. Seems like most of them fled when Jabba died. Fortuna managed to keep a skeleton crew. We’ve cleared out most of them.”

“I should be helping.” Din says, trying to distract himself from the panic building within him.

“You can help by resting.” Boba says, leading him up the steps. “Like I said, this is the easy part. I need you at your best when the real fight begins.”

**********

Despite his exhaustion, Din lays awake in bed. The sheets are clean, having been brought up by a droid, along with a clean change of clothes for Vira. She had fussed through a bath and dinner before Din let her sleep. The new clothes were a bit big, but they worked. He’d need to pick up some supplies soon. Everything he’d owned had been destroyed.

Din had taken a bath himself after Vira finally fell asleep. He was used to going long periods without being properly cleaned, but it felt nice to wash off the last few days. The worry still lingered, but in a way he felt like he could force it all down, forget the horrors that had gone through his mind.

His helmet sits on the ground behind him. He hadn’t been able to relax enough to take all his armor off. What if they had missed something? He can’t take that risk. Not right now. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to put the helmet back on. Not yet.

He scoots closer to Vira, letting the soft scent of pup invade his senses. He hadn’t done it often, not since he left her with the covert. He presses his nose into her hair, letting the gentle scent flow through him. It’s the best scent in the world, or at least he thinks so. The scent of a pup before they begin developing traits, before they present. So soothing it could loosen even the most steeled beta.

The scent calms the raging storm inside him. There’s nothing off about it, no change to it. It’s purely her, just as he remembered it being.

#star wars #star wars fic teaser #the mandalorian #book of boba fett #din x boba #bobadin

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