#be a little more obvious colin no one can see you are DYING

[sukibenders]

Marina Thompson (or Crane however yall want to refer to her) you will be avenged! Baby girl did not deserve all that, nor the slander that some fans give towards her. That being said, I feel like the show fumbled the ball with her and her future, if that, storyline all the way in the left field. Bare with me- here you have a biracial black woman entering this white family/household who already is against her, or more so Lady Featherington and that maid or whomever she gossips with. Like, LF wasn't kind from the beginning at all (we see how she treats her own daughters) but as soon as she noticed Marina taking attention away from her daughters (literally just by existing), she becomes even more spiteful and mean as she sees her as a threat. Even willing to sell her off to an older man, who could have harmed her, even after discovering that she was pregnant, just to get her out of her hair. Can you see the obvious undertones that carries?

To add on to that, the only friend that Marina can gain, can find solace in, Penelope ends up betraying her because she notices that Colin has been courting her and wants to marry her. Like, to me no matter how you spin it, what Penelope did was wrong because she not only spread all of Marina's intimate privacy to a judgmental society and put her in a very dangerous situation, but also her daughter. Do you honestly think that even with Marina being "fortunate" enough to become a Lady and cared for, her daughter Amanda will be welcomed into the Ton with open arms or at least with little difficulty?

Moving on from that, the fans aren't any better because the rhetoric they use is very disgusting and borderline racist. Painting her as this conniving woman who was only trying to trap this poor white man for her own gain (completely disregarding that Colin is, not only, an adult and can make his own decisions, would have likely raised the twins as his own, but also the whole point of the show is to obtain a match who could also provide for you aka all of which Marina was doing), ignoring how her choices were very limited and she was in an abusive household but are quick to paint her as an antagonist towards Pen (ignoring how she was the only one, outside of Eloise and Colin, who befriended her and helped give her confidence). I could go on!

And, lastly, while I haven't read the books I do know/am remotely aware that Marina does die in the books (possibly in a very traumatic way, correct me if I'm wrong) and Philip moves on with Eloise. Now, maybe the show didn't intend for it to be read this way, but it does give the vibe of the disposable black woman trope (it already did with the treatment of her and Polin, but this even more so because she literally dies). While Philip and Marina are very obviously shown to not have any romantic attraction, the show hardly does a good job at even making them seem as if they are remotely comfortable or at least friendly with one another. It's even painted as the last option available, which wouldn't be bad if we actually got to see the pair connect. Instead, Marina just seems lonely and an afterthought. We don't get anything else about her life nor see if she has any connections with the rest of the world (I don't think she does), so her dying would be even more saddening especially since she would be leaving behind her kids. And while I'm glad Philip and Eloise fans could potentially get their ship, it isn't lost on me that that would have to be at the cost of a black woman, who didn't even have a happy life to begin with. Like, again, maybe the writers didn't intend for this narrative to be there, but it is, and even worse is that Netflix or whoever has done very little to assist Ruby from the online hate and bullying she has received from fans, especially shippers (though, I don't think they do that for any of their cast, especially those who are poc e.g. what happened with Simone, Charithra, Regé, etc), and how she had to be hospitalized twice because her mental health was bad.

Marina deserves/deserved so much better (she will always be loved by me as the fandom could never make me hate her, even though there is little reason too).

#bridgerton #marina thompson #marina crane #fandom racism #racism in fandom #like i have a fic idea planned for her where she is treated way better than what the show does for her #bc it's really sad what she's left with and even more so how ruby was treated #dni if you can't have a calm conversation here

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA, taking notes as always:)-

Sorry in advance this is so fucking long. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to send this all in one ask but we will see lol. This is actually more than I write for some essays. Like you’re going to have to click expand and be like holy shit. Anyway feel free to ignore my rambling shitty literary analysis at the end lolololol.

At least she can recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to being horny for Ben lmfao

(side note but I love that you write characters with believable flaws that make them more endearing and not less. And that they try to be better but they’re not perfect; that’s so real and I think that it’s a really hard line to walk and most people can’t/don’t. Anyway it’s being in awe of dreams writing hours again, which is all day every day)

The asking an annoying question and then immediately getting mad at herself internally- that’s such a mood lmfao

SHE SAID THAT THEYRE GOING TO STILL BE TOGETHER IN THE AFTERLIFE AODKNSNFBF I know it was a joke but also OMG CLOVER could you be any more obvious/oblivious!???!??!!

Also her complimenting him so heavily and it not being because she wants to kiss his ass but being genuine, and her not thinking that that says anything about her and her character wowkkfnfjrhthhf

Wait if he goes to Italy for the art academy, will she go with him? What about teddy??? I mean hopefully they’re over their codependent-ness by then, esp. since he has Josie and is learning to live with their aunt and uncle and everything, but still!!! Maybe Colin will take him to visit them…. All assuming he does go to the academy Ofc

Okay but does Josie know flowers and/or was she just fucking with clover? Anyway that’s also so relatable cuz I can’t draw for shit either lol

OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS BREAK HER WRIST?!????!!!??!!!?!!!?!! THATS SO FUCKED UP!!!!!!!! (I mean I know we know that they were bad, but still getting the details makes me want to strangle them. I’m so nervous for when they come to town because I will want to strangle them every single moment of it lol; I already do!)

SHES TOO HORNY TO FOCUS!!!!! Lmfaoooo love that for her

He’s so cute telling her that she’s great at art even though he helped her!! He’s so sweet and I love that he wasn’t willing to let her think badly of herself for one second before doing everything in his power to prove him wrong

THE SEXUAL TENSION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!! (And them too by the looks of it Lmfao)

LMFAO I vaguely remember us talking about Percy buying Anthony and Cherie’s kids ponies in a headcanon for enamored. I love that that trend is popping up again haha

THERES ONLY ONE BED TROPE MY BELOVED (or in this case: there’s actually two beds but they’re CHOOSING to share a bed, which is arguably even better) cuddling/sharing a bed to keep the nightmares away my beloved

Also they’re going from her locking the door on him to sharing a bed AHHHHH I’m so excited for them!!!!

PILLOW WALL MY BELOVED (okay I need to stop calling every single trope my beloved. It’s true but I don’t need to say it. I need a new word lmfao)

Am I sensing some foreshadowing where her heart is going to break and she feels like she’s dying, similar to what happened to cherie??? I hope not, she’s been through enough angst already. Though it would probably be something like he goes to a party to paint and she assumes the worst- the whole acting like she’s being retraumatized all over again even when she’s not.

“When are you free” “whenever you want me too” AIFJNFNDJFNFNDNFB it’s like he’s saying that he’s always free to do things for her and hang out with her and do whatever she needs.

This fic is killing me with the one million ways to say I love you without saying it and I fucking love it so much!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the words of affirmation and the acts of service and gifts and time spent together and listening and every single little thing they do for one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH I love them SO much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They way that he gives her complete control and isn’t condescending about it but genuinely wants her input and for her to decide what’s best. For her to choose what will make her comfortable and not force her to do anything. It’s the way that he suggests things as being optional where she can turn it down or choose how it’s done, and let’s her make her own choices and take control of what happens to her. I don’t know if I’m articulating myself properly but it just gets me so fucking soft and I love it SO much.

It’s the way that he never wants to do something that so much as even makes her uncomfortable, and the way that he does everything in his power to take care of and nurture her. I swear to god I know I’m rambling but I can’t help it; I’m just so in love with them and this story.

I also love that he’s close with his mom, which is such a minor detail that we knew about all the bridgerton siblings, but still- it’s so cute!!

“As my lady wishes” DREAM ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE CONGRATS ITS WORKING

At least she realizes how fucking domestic they sound- does he?

I love the contrast of this story with enamored. Cherie and Anthony were a huge roller coaster of emotions, not because of anything in particular but because cherie just happens to be a very dramatic person. It’s not that the highs and lows were fabricated, but more so that they were very abrupt and very dramatic.

On the other hand we have Ben and clover, who are not very dramatic at all. The tension comes from them not being dramatic actually- the pining, the slow-burn- whereas there wasn’t as much of a slow-burn in enamored- Anthony and cherie both gave in rather quickly and let themselves be swept away in it, whereas clover is very much hanging on and resisting.

This does say a lot about clover too though because I don’t think that she could handle the dramatic ups and downs of cherie and Anthony’s relationship, nor would she want to. Cherie had a single trauma that affected her entire life, but she still had a mother that loved and took care of her and raised her in a relatively normal manner. Clover on the other hand had a prolonged series of abuse with no reprieve, no safe space, and no safe adult.

The differences in their trauma literally shape who they become- cherie decides to believe in love against all logic because she thinks that love will prevent her from being traumatized again and because she had a parent who loved her, so she knows that that love exists, and clover decides to believe against trust and love at all costs because she can’t afford to be hurt again. She doesn’t see the world as being worth loving or trusting because she’s never received that sort of love; she’s only given it, which has resulted in nothing but pain for her, so she rejects the very idea of it.

Also cherie was reacting from what she knew- her parents’ and subsequently her trauma was a very sudden, very dramatic event. It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story.

Clover is also reacting to what she knows- she believes that people cannot be trusted, that there’s something inherently wrong with them, or with her, that renders her incapable of trusting them. She is also in a constant state of stress because of the nature of her trauma- it was prolonged and constant and she never knew when it was going to go down; she had absolutely no warning. Whereas cherie uses things like Anthony “cheating” as a sign that trauma is imminent, but otherwise functions well as long as that sign is not present, clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is.

Actually you see this reflected in Anthony too a bit because of the suddenness of his father’s death and the immediate burden it placed upon him especially, whereas Ben didn’t have that pressure and was able to learn to cope more freely and for longer, both of which shaped who they would eventually become, with Anthony being repressed and unable to properly process/handle his emotions and benedict embracing his feelings and being emotionally aware of himself.

You definitely see how they, despite being brothers with the same trauma, had two different trauma responses and how this affects their future relationships. Benedict is able to go slow and care for clover because he’s learned how to care for himself. He’s learned how to listen and embrace whatever she’s feeling without judgement because he does it everyday. Anthony on the other hand can’t go slow- he rushes into things without thinking because he’s terrified that if he waits for even a moment to think about what he’s feeling or going through, that he’ll be too late. It’s his whole thinking irrationally that he’s going to die young thing all over again; he doesn’t have time to embrace his emotions, he is just controlled by them.

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason.

On the other hand, Ben and clover also react to their own relationship the way they’ve been taught. She’s slow and cautious so that she can retreat at any moment and protect herself, and he’s slow because he’s not afraid of being abandoned or hurt; he lives and loves with very little regard to himself. He also recognizes that he could ruin everything by rushing in too quickly- he’s smart about it and thinking about each step rationally.

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. It’s a really, really fascinating analysis about emotional health- not feeling things is deceptively and significantly worse than actually being able to sit with your emotions and live with them. Repressing emotions only gives the illusion of being in control, when it actually surrenders them and gives them the power to control you.

I really like Ben and clover (in case you couldn’t tell lolololol) because it shows two people who are choosing to be kind despite what the world has thrown at them. With Anthony and cherie, as much as I love them, it felt like a very slippery slope into passion with very little control. There’s something beautiful about Ben and clover choosing to be there for one another. Ben is choosing to be patient and wait for her and take care of her- it’s a very emotionally conscious sort of love, and clover is choosing to keep inching forward despite her fear.

That’s not to say that Anthony and cherie didn’t choose one another- they certainly did, but I’m not entirely convinced that either of them were the only ones for one another. I mean we even see this when clover could have chosen Pierre or someone else at any point and Anthony could’ve chosen sienna or anyone else. They chose one another when they had other options, but they still had other options, whereas I don’t see clover with any other options.

I know Ben has other options, so he’s still choosing clover but not every person in the ton would be patient and willing enough to sit with her to go at her own pace.

I also think it’s almost like gaining the trust of an animal, let’s say a dog. If you gain the trust of one that was raised in a loving home and loves people, then that’s great! That love is super special and deserves cherishing. But you didn’t work for it and it’s not particularly hard for any person in the world to earn the love of that dog if something happens to you.

But if you have a dog that’s been hurt before and doesn’t trust anyone, and you put in the love and patience without rushing it, then you and that dog have a bond for life. Then there is an inherent, earned sense of trust that is fragile at first but also the strongest that could be. That trust is special because not everyone could’ve earned that trust; there’s not the sense that it could’ve been given away at any given moment because it won’t be.

Of course this isn’t a perfect analogy and isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with an instantly loving dog, just that they’re very different and there’s value in a relationship that takes hard work and is forged over a long period of time.

With Anthony and cherie, their relationship was a sprint. They both acted like any moment could be their last and every step matters. Clover and Ben’s relationship is a marathon- you don’t know how long it will take, but you know that even if you’re tired you can’t give up. Even if you stumble once, that’s not as important as if you keep going. One foot in front of the other, just keep going. When you reach the end of a marathon, in a lot of ways it feels much sweeter because it took longer and more willpower. Even though it hurts more, you end up accomplishing something far greater.

And don’t get me wrong, I love cherie and Anthony, as you very well know. It’s just that I have a soft spot for people who choose to be together. And people who choose to be shelters in storms for those who are hurting.

Okay this is an essay and I don’t even know if tumblr will let me send this all in one ask, and there’s so much more to say but my thumbs are tired and I need to eat LOL.

Sorry this is so long lol, I just get really excited (as you know lol) and I love love love literary analysis when it’s not being done for a class LOL.

Okay love u see u when u answer this in a day or so!!!

CMA MY LOVE!

Omg I’m so ready for this and I’m incredibly excited, I have been thinking of this ask the whole day! ❤️

So first of all, NEVER EVER apologize for this because you know how much I love long asks and analyses! 🥰 You’ve made my whole day with this! ❤️

I’m so gonna fangirl over you btw😍❤️❤️

She can totally recognize that she’s being a hypocrite when it comes to that YES 😂  And that will happen a lot❤️

Aw it is so wonderful to hear that! ❤️ I really try to pay attention to character flaws and make sure to include them and their influence over their behavior and such so it’s such good news for me! 😍 I think character flaws actually make the character more like…real and relatable 😁

Omg you noticed that detail aaaaaa! 😍 She jokes about being together in the afterlife and she doesn’t even realize what it means or how she is getting more comfortable with the idea of being with him 😏

She believes in him wholeheartedly and they will actually have a convo about that in the next chapter!

Oh he wants to get into the art academy in England love, not in Italy 😁 They were just talking about one of the artists that helped build the one in Italy ❤️ But I do think that if he went to the art academy in Italy, Clover would go with him too at least until the end of his time and training there ❤️ But like, they wouldn’t spend the rest of their lives in Italy for sure❤️

Josie has some idea about flowers but Clover is a terrible artist when it comes to drawing/painting lolll😂

The wrist thing… Oh we will learn about that wrist thing 😈

Listen, unresolved sexual tension and yearning will be such an ongoing theme in the following chapters and we will have so much fun with it! 😂

Benedict is always ready to encourage her no matter what she’s insecure about 🥰

The ponyyyy yes! ❤️ I couldn’t use it in the actual chapters of Enamored, so I had to use that one here, it is adorable! ❤️

THERE IS ONLY ONE BED TROPE IS SUCH A GOOD TROPE!😍

There will be much angst going on 😏

one million ways to say I love you without saying it THIS IS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO PUT IT OMG 😍

Exactly! Like, it is incredibly important to Benedict that Clover chooses what is comfortable for her and that she doesn’t feel like she is being forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do ❤️ Unlike many people and couples in the ton, their relationship is totally equal and he will try so hard to make sure Clover sees that ❤️

Benedict has such a good relationship with his whole family and I think soon enough Clover will get so close with his family as well! ❤️

Oh yeah, they sound more and more like a married couple 😂

It is so interesting that you bring this up darling because like, when I was planning this story that contrast was one of the very first things I thought of! ❤️ I try to explore something different in every fic, a different genre or trope or character development but in here one of the first things I decided on was the difference between dynamics❤️

Cherie being a very dramatic person actually set the tone of Enamored in a way, and Clover resisting the idea of love so vehemently and not even realizing the yearning it leads is going to set the tone in GoS ❤️

Oh you’re absolutely right, Clover couldn’t handle the dramatic ups and downs of Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, it would mess her up so badly 💔 In order for her character development to happen, she needs a safe harbor, in a way ❤️ Otherwise she would totally shut down 💔

Their trauma really did shape them! Like, even if Cherie didn’t really have a father growing up, she was still much more privileged than Clover could ever be ❤️ She was very sheltered and coddled and Cassie tried to keep her away from her own trauma of divorce -even though it was impossible to do it completely- Cherie never really witnessed actual heartbreak until she got to London. She believed her parents didn’t love each other so she grew up thinking love was the most important thing in the world, because she had the privilege to do so.

Clover on the other hand was not given that same privilege💔 So she has so many trust issues because of her background, because it’s full of nightmares and trauma 💔

It was if you hurt me once, you’ve lost me forever, and her being taught that really shows in her relationship with Anthony. She shows the dramatic highs and lows, and how she clings on so tightly because it will all be taken away if one wrong move is made, and we see her react that way throughout the story. This is so true!😍

For Cherie, in a way – at least up until a certain point in the story- everything was life or death, she has such a determined way of thinking that she wasn’t really familiar with the “gray” area ❤️ It was yet another thing her parents’ divorce influenced her way of seeing things, especially love and relationships ❤️

clover never has any sign of when the trauma will arrive; for all she knows, it’s already there and she acts as if it is. Yesss because for her it’s always there at the back of her mind! 💔 She basically grew up in survival mode, she had to look out for any and every small change, a difference in one’s tone of voice or even a glance, so she is still very much ready to jump back at the slightest sign of it 💔

Anthony’s trauma response and Benedict’s trauma response are incredibly different than each other and it influenced every single part of their lives, from their personalities to their romantic relationships. That’s also why -from the beginning- Benedict had more chance with Clover than any other person did, he is very observant and he was allowed to figure out his own feelings in everything, he didn’t have to taken on the responsibilities that Anthony did. Benedict was allowed to be himself while Anthony was forced to be the head of the family after their father’s death❤️

This is why cherie and Anthony have such a chaotic relationship- they’re both assuming they’re going to be abandoned/abandon the other, and they treat their relationship that way. It’s very rushed with no control because they feel like they need to savor every moment they have together, and it results in complete and utter chaos- passion at the expense of reason. This is a perfect analysis of their dynamic! 😍

It's so true! Like, Cherie and Anthony had that “rush” throughout their relationship even from the beginning, they were sneaking around, they were keeping things secrets, they were actively looking for unchaperoned moments even if they knew about the consequences and it took them a very long time and a lot of character development to realize that they can actually calm down and control the chaos ❤️

Benedict and Clover’s relationship is the total opposite of it ❤️ While Cherie and Anthony could be incredibly reckless, most of the moments between Benedict and Clover were planned and calm, like Benedict has been incredibly careful to give her that space instead of chaos ❤️

This is really ironic because Anthony is usually considered the stoic, emotionless, and logical brother whereas Ben is usually assumed to be controlled by his emotions, whereas it’s really Anthony who is controlled by his emotions because he lives in fear of them, but benedict is able to control his because he’s embraced them. Definitely!

I think it’s also very interesting because of the dynamics of power and control in both couples. In Cherie and Anthony’s relationship, up until the moment she heard Simon and Anthony in the study, Anthony had been the one in control and he quite liked it, like that was kind of the dynamic between them. It took him the actual danger of losing her forever to learn to let go of that control in their relationship, that was one of the biggest challenges for him in terms of character development❤️

Benedict and Clover on the other hand are very different than that, because up until the moment they got caught, there was not an instance or a time where they were together and Clover wasn’t in control. And she knew it, that was why she was so comfortable to be around him even unchaperoned❤️ Even when their first kiss happened, though Benedict was the one who told her he would kiss her if she didn’t walk away, she was the one who took the first step, she was the one who pulled the cigarette from his lips so that he could kiss her ❤️ Clover has been setting the pace in their relationship from the very beginning, Benedict just makes sure they can talk and spend time together ❤️

Oh yeah, Cherie and Anthony’s romance was very out of control throughout the story, Clover and Benedict on the other hand are moving much more carefully and with so much patience ❤️

They definitely had other options in terms of marriage! But I also think after meeting one another, they would always be in love with each other even if they married other people❤️

I actually don’t think there is anyone in the ton that Clover would have the dynamic and romance she has with Benedict! ❤️ The same for Benedict, I think something would feel missing 😁They are meant for each other and we will see many scenes with it! ❤️

Oh I totally get that analogy, yes! ❤️ And working for that trust creates a very strong bond ❤️

Sprint vs marathon is a wonderful way to put it! ❤️ Anthony and Cherie were very impulsive, and Benedict and Clover are more…like, they’re more in control ❤️ It will take them a very long time to be open with each other -at least on Clover’s part- but it will also make them fall for each other even more ❤️ Especially for Clover, she is not the person to fall for someone that suddenly and willingly like Cherie ❤️ Cherie spent her whole life wishing and waiting for her love story, so when she finally got it she was so happy that she didn’t think about slowing down 😂 Clover on the other hand spent her whole life repeating over and over again how she would never fall in love, so it will be a very different process for her ❤️

DARLING-

I am hugging you virtually, like…. You have no idea how much it means to me that you wrote this, you have made me incredibly happy! 🥰 You are so talented with literary analysis and symbolism and also reading the characters and between the lines! ❤️ This ask gave me so much inspiration and also made me think of the story in very different ways with different perspective 🥰 And I learned a lot about the dynamics of the characters and I’m just like, so excited to use it in the story! 🥰😍❤️

I re-read this the whole day over and over again and I am still in awe of it ❤️  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMG ❤️

[keanureevesisbae]

Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 9

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: None (just that I nearly cried writing this, so yeah...)

Wordcount: 4.6k

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter 

It’s Sunday, November 12th and that means exactly seven years have passed since Vanessa was born. Seven whole years have flown by and I can’t believe my little girl is already seven. I crouch down in front of the picture that stands on the coffee table and I see every single day, but today it has such a different meaning and it nearly makes me want to cry.

Vanessa just turned one on this picture and we are eating the icing of the cake. She only fell face first into the cake and her face is smudged with icing and I’m dying of laughter in the picture.

‘So, all the presents are on the table,’ Henry says. ‘Do you want me to start on the pancakes?’

‘Yeah, sure,’ I say, though I barely registered what he said and with the picture in my hand, I stand up as I stare at the picture.

Henry’s arms snake around my waist and he gives me a kiss on my temple. ‘Are you okay?’

I shrug. ‘It’s just hard to believe that she turns seven already,’ I admit. ‘It seemed like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant with her, that she was born and scared the living shit out of me multiple times, making me completely doubt my parental skills. She shoved a bead up her nose, she fell out of her high chair and had a small concussion and even broke her leg when she fell down the stairs. Besides those accidents, she somehow still grew up to be the girl she is today.’

Henry chuckles. ‘That’s what little girls do, love. They grow up.’

I nod. ‘I know, I know and I want her to grow up, but… I feel like I’m not enjoying each moment enough and I blink with my eyes and she’ll turn sixteen.’

‘I know you are enjoying each moment enough.’

Since Vanessa came home from that sleepover, she really likes it when Henry sleeps over, so we can all cram up in my bed. Kal’s blanket has moved from the couch with us to my bedroom, so he can be there with us too. Sometimes Vanessa secretly ushers him on the bed, when she thinks Henry and I are already asleep. When we wake up the next morning, Henry tells me that we should buy a bigger bed.

Every single time.

‘Shall I start with the pancakes, love?’ Henry asks.

‘Yes, thank you.’

He nods, burying his face in the crook of my neck and pressing tons of kisses there. ‘I love you and I’m happy that we can spend this day together.’

‘Of course,’ I say, as we walk to the kitchen. ‘Why wouldn’t we want to spend it with you, honey?’

‘Well, for six years it has just been the two of you,’ he says, as he grabs the bowl filled with the batter that he already preparedy. He stirs a few times, before he adds: ‘And now I can be part of that too. I mean, we’re going to my parents in the afternoon to celebrate her birthday. It’s still surreal that you want me here, to be honest.’

I can’t help but chuckle and wrap my arms around his hips. ‘Henry, you are part of our little family now,’ I whisper. ‘Get yourself ready, because we are going to spend Christmas together, New Years Eve and all the other good stuff.’

He bites his lip and says: ‘Thank you, Olivia.’

I let him bake the pancakes, but I can’t help but be curious. ‘You really want us to meet your brothers today?’

He nods. ‘I talked to them, all four of them individually and the other day when we were at my parents and told them how they should behave. They can embarrass me, but they have to be nice to the two of you. I don’t want them to scare you away.’ He puts some butter in the pan and as that melts, he continues by saying: ‘They all bought a gift off of the list that Vanessa gave you, so that must go well.’

‘Are you nervous, Henry?’ I ask him. ‘For us meeting your brothers?’

‘Is it that obvious?’ he laughs and I can’t help but let out a chuckle. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just that I brought home girlfriends before, you know and they were always really nice to them, but they embarrassed the living daylights out of me, probably scaring the girlfriends a bit in the process. But I don’t want that to happen today.’

‘I think your parents will be on the look out too,’ I chuckle. The other day we were at his parents’ again and Marianne kept gushing about how she has never seen Henry like he is with us and that she is so happy that we are in their lives now. ‘Marianne and Colin very much like Vanessa and according to Colin, he likes my daughter more than he likes his own sons, so there is not much to worry about, sweetheart. However,’ I say, ‘I do think it’s adorable that you worry this much about us meeting your brothers. It shows us that you really care.’

Henry blushes and lets out a bit of a nervous chuckle. He continues to bake pancakes and when he finished up the last one, I hear tiny footsteps on the stairs, followed by the sound of dog nails hitting the carpet.

‘I’m seven years old, mommy,’ Vanessa yells, as she jumps in my arms.

‘I know, sweetheart. Happy birthday.’ I give her a big kiss and from the looks of it, she is really happy and hyper. ‘You feel like a big girl now?’

‘I do, I do, I do.’ She hugs me tightly and I let out a content sigh, as I press my nose in her hairs. ‘I love you, mommy,’ she says.

‘I love you too,’ I say with a smile. ‘Mommy is really proud of you, you know that?’

She smiles and gives me another kiss. ‘I know,’ she cheekily says and I put her down on the floor. ‘Superman, I’m seven now.’

‘I know, sunshine. You’re getting old.’

‘Not as old as you,’ she retorts and I’m so happy that I am raising a sassy little girl. She jumps in his arms and he kisses her cheek, before he says: ‘Happy birthday, Vanessa.’

‘You are making pancakes?’ she asks, wrapping her arms around his neck.

‘Not just pancakes. I made birthday pancakes, especially for you.’

Vanessa’s eyes grow wider. ‘Really?’

‘Of course,’ he says, nearly scoffing with a chuckle. ‘You only turn seven once and we have to celebrate that with special birthday pancakes. I put some chocolate in it, because I know how much you like that.’

Vanessa looks over her shoulder at me and says: ‘I love this birthday already.’

I lean against the doorway and blink my eyes a little faster. I don’t want to be emotional, but these past weeks have been such a rollercoaster and my feelings are trying to find a new normal again, but it’s not that easy. Especially if you are a professional in bottling up emotions like I am.

We eat our pancakes and I sit across from Vanessa, who sits on Henry’s lap, as he helps her rolling her pancakes. I take dozens of pictures, wanting to have physical evidence of this wonderful moment between them. They are surely getting attached to each other and I continued to think about what would happen if I broke up with Henry.

Would Vanessa still see him?

I forced myself to stop thinking about that, because it only made me sad. I mean, I already can’t imagine a life without Henry.

‘When can I open my presents?’ she asks.

‘When you finished your pancakes,’ I say. ‘After that, we’re going to get dressed go to Henry’s parents.’

‘We’re going to mrs. Marianne and mister Colin again?’ Vanessa claps her hands. ‘Are they going to give me gifts too?’

‘They are, sunshine,’ Henry says. ‘And there are going to be four other guests.’

‘Who?’ she asks, her eyes lighting up already.

‘My brothers.’

She smiles. ‘I like that. Are they going to give me presents?’

I try to hide a laugh, but I fail miserably. The most important things to Vanessa sure are quite something and totally relatable if I’m being honest. ‘They are, sweetheart,’ I say.

‘But, sunshine, I have to tell you something,’ Henry says. ‘If they do something you don’t like, you tell me, my parents or your mommy, okay? This is your birthday and I want you to be happy the entire time, okay?’

‘I can tell them myself,’ Vanessa says.

Henry smiles at her. ‘I know you can,’ he says. ‘But will you promise me that?’

She nods. ‘I promise, Superman.’ She presses her nose against his cheek and says: ‘You really are Superman.’

Henry films as Vanessa opens up all her presents and she is the happiest with the bike Henry and I bought her. It has bears on it and a flag on the back, also with a bear. She sits on it and says: ‘Now I really am a big girl.’

After unpacking the gifts, Vanessa and I go to the bathroom, where we get in the shower cabin and I help her with washing her hairs and getting all freshened up for the day. She keeps on babbling about how happy she is and excited that she is going to see mrs. Marianne and mister Colin again. I wrap her up in a towel after I done that for myself and since I can still carry her, I lift her up in my arms as we walk to the bedroom. ‘You go warm up in my bed, as I get dressed,’ I tell her, handing her my phone so she can play a game on it.

I decide to wear a black casual dress today, since I know that Vanessa always loves it when I wear dresses on her birthday. I slip on the Doctor Martens, tie them up and walk over to the big mirror that I have on the closet. I grab some hair products and comb my fingers through my hair.

Henry enters the bedroom and smiles when he looks at me. ‘Birthday girl,’ he says to Vanessa. ‘Did you tell your mom to wear this dress?’ He runs a hand through his slight out of control curls.

Vanessa nods. ‘Mommy has to wear dresses on my birthday, because I like that.’

He gives her a thumbs up, causing me to roll my eyes. ‘Did you pick this one out?’

She nods again. ‘And when I grow up, I want to wear that dress.’

‘You have excellent taste, sunshine.’ He walks over to me, gives me a kiss and says that he is going to take a shower now.

‘Henry, you have to wear something colorful,’ Vanessa says, before he can walk out of the room.

Henry leans against the wall and asks: ‘Like what?’

‘A pink shirt.’

He cocks an eyebrow. ‘I have to check my wardrobe to see if I have a pink shirt. How about before we go to my parents, we stop by at my house?’

‘Can I pick something out?’ she says, her face lighting up already. ‘Pretty please?’

I already know that he us unable to say no to Vanessa. ‘Of course you can.’ He chuckles and looks at me again. ‘You look really beautiful, love,’ he says to me.

‘Thank you.’ I don’t want to blush, but I feel my face heat up.

Henry sends me a wink, before he walks out of the room. After I’m done with my make-up and hair, I turn around and ask Vanessa: ‘You want to wear that pink dress with the bears on it, sweetheart?’

≫≫≪≪

‘Mommy, why is Henry nervous?’ Vanessa asks. We just stopped by Henry’s place, hoping to find something pink, but we came to the conclusion that he doesn’t have anything pink. After going through his closet at least three times, she found a baby blue sweater instead and it looks beautiful on him. It hugs his tight arms and I have my hand wrapped around the bulk of muscles.

We are on our way to his parents house, but he keeps drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and he hums. Now, he usually hums when we’re not really talking in the car, usually in a light tone, causing Vanessa to recognize the song, but today it’s in a nervous tone.

‘Because he is scared that his brothers will embarrass him.’

‘Why?’ Vanessa asks.

I turn around in my seat and say: ‘Because siblings tend to embarrass each other and Henry knows that when we are there to meet them, they will say and do stuff, hoping to get a sort of a reaction out of him.’

‘Isn’t that bullying?’

I shake my head. ‘No, because they are siblings, it’s more like teasing. Like when you want a cookie and I hold the jar over your head…. It’s not necessarily bullying, but I’m teasing you a bit, right?’

She nods. ‘But if Henry doesn’t like it, he should say it to his mother.’

Vanessa is adorable.

‘And otherwise he should tell me. I can tell his brothers they shouldn’t be mean to him. I mean, Henry told me that I should tell him if they do something I don’t like, right?’

‘Very good, sunshine,’ he says with an adoring smile as he looks in his rearview mirror.

We get out of the car, Vanessa holding her Kal’s leash in her hand as she frisks towards the already open front door. ‘Mrs. Marianne!’ she yells, Kal following her close by. For a second I’m afraid Vanessa is going to jump in her arms, but she doesn’t—thankfully—and wraps her arms around her waist. ‘It’s my birthday today.’

‘I know, doll,’ Marianne says. ‘And happy birthday to you. I bought a nice birthday cake for you.’

‘For me?’ Vanessa looks over her shoulder and holds my hand. ‘Mommy, mrs. Marianne bought a birthday cake for me.’

‘No way,’ I say, ‘that is so thoughtful of her.’

Marianne pulls me in a hug. ‘She looks so beautiful,’ she whispers, ‘as do you.’

‘Thank you.’

After she hugged her son too, we all walk into the house and the fact that Vanessa completely ignores the four insanely tall Cavill men, to go and hug mr. Colin, says something about their bond. ‘I missed you,’ she says.

‘I missed the birthday girl too,’ he laughs and from the looks of it, he begins to tell her the newest jokes he looked up, because she bursts into a fit of giggles after a few seconds already.

‘Olivia, these are my brothers,’ Henry says, placing a hand on the small of my back. I don’t know if he does that because he feels like he needs to support me or the other way around. ‘Simon, Charlie, Niki and Piers.’

I am amazed by the Cavill genetics. ‘Wow,’ is the first thing that leaves my lips and I nearly want to throw myself out of a window. ‘I’m sorry, that was creepy.’

All of his brothers start to laugh and I shake their hands to introduce myself, with my cheeks in a full on blush. ‘Nice to meet you, guys.’

‘No, no, no, it’s nice to meet you, Olivia,’ Piers says.

Niki nods. ‘We couldn’t wait to meet the woman that has our Henry all blushy and giggly.’

‘And just wondering, but why him?’ Charlie says. ‘I mean, sure, he is handsome, but have you seen the rest of us?’

Simon holds back a laugh and says: ‘Guys, look at that clenched fist. This man is about to throw in some punches.’

I look up and see not only his fist is clenched, but also his jaw. He is really working himself up and I nearly feel sorry for him. To cut Henry some slack, I say to Vanessa: ‘Sweetheart, come over and meet Henry’s brothers.’

She walks over and stands in front of me and I watch as all of his brothers crouch down, so they don’t seem that intimidating to my daughter.

I already love them.

Vanessa looks up, ignoring them a bit and asks: ‘Have they been mean to Henry already?’

‘No, sunshine, they haven’t,’ Henry says with a smile on his face.

‘So, I can be nice to them?’

I can see the looks on his brothers faces, already melting at the sight of my daughter being quite protective over my boyfriend. ‘Yes, sweetheart, you can be nice to them.’

Vanessa looks at Piers and holds out her hand. ‘My name is Vanessa Tran,’ she says.

‘Nice to meet you, Vanessa and happy birthday.’

She smiles. ‘I’m seven now.’

‘So I heard.’

All of Henry’s brothers seem to be impressed with Vanessa and when she reaches Charlie, he jokingly asks: ‘What does your mom see in Henry anyways? Do you know?’

Vanessa rolls her eyes like the sassy little thing she is. ‘Because he is Superman, of course.’

‘Yeah, I can’t compete with that,’ Charlie admits.

‘You want to see the gifts we bought you?’ Simon suggests and she nods. She holds onto Charlie’s hand and I watch them go to the living room.

‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ I ask Henry.

‘No, it wasn’t.’ He lets out a big sigh and says: ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

He smiles and holds my hand, as we go to the living room as well. Vanessa is sitting on Marianne’s lap, as she unwraps the other gifts. She is happy every single time, no matter what she gets. She asks whose gift it is, so she can hug the specific person as a thank you.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that Vanessa has wrapped the entire Cavill household around her finger.

While I watch them all interact with my daughter, I can’t help but notice the light in Vanessa’s eyes. I know she accepted that she didn’t have a large family and she told me that she was happy that she had me, but I knew that deep down she wanted to have a dad, grandparents and aunts or uncles. I mean, sure, she has Belle and she loves Belle with all her heart, but this is different.

This is one whole family that fell in love with her and she knows it.

‘Mommy, look, a coloring book filled with bears,’ she chuckles, as she walks over to me.

I pull her on my lap and wrap my arm around her waist. ‘So pretty,’ I say to her. ‘Did you say thank you?’

She nods. ‘I’m really happy.’

‘I know you are.’

‘Is this our new family?’ she asks, loud enough for the others to hear her. ‘Because I like them a lot.’

Don’t you dare start crying now, Olivia Tran. I look over at Henry, who sits next to me on a chair. He slides his arm from the back of the chair on my shoulders, giving me a little bit of comfort. ‘You should ask them.’

She looks at the Cavill family and asks: ‘Are you my new family?’

They unanimously start to nod. ‘We are, doll,’ Marianne says, her voice cracking a bit.

Vanessa turns around in my lap, so she can look at Henry as well. She ushers him closer and asks him: ‘Do they mean it?’

‘They do, sunshine.’ He places his hand on her leg and says: ‘We are all very happy that both you and your mom are part of our family now.’

‘I loved all the presents I got,’ she says, ‘but having a family is the best present I could ask for. Who do I say thank you to for that, mommy?’

I’m unable to answer something, as all sorts of things run through my mind. Have I finally given her everything I simply can? Is the life that I wanted for my daughter, finally happening? I simply press a kiss on her cheek and hear Henry say: ‘You should thank your mom for that.’

Vanessa tilts her head. ‘Why?’

‘Because your mom allowed me in your life,’ he says, ‘and because of that you not only got me, but also got the rest of them.’

Vanessa looks at me and says: ‘Thank you, mommy. For finding the best family for me.’

≫≫≪≪

The entire day I hold my tears back, but when I watch the Cavill men, including Kal run around in the backyard, throwing around a ball with Vanessa, I can’t help but let out a shaky breath.

This is all I ever wanted for my little girl. I wanted her to have a big loving family and now on her seventh birthday, she has that.

After she thanked me for finding the best family for her, I could barely look at someone else anymore. Henry knew something was up, but he couldn’t get it out of me.

I sit on the porch with Marianne. ‘I’m just going to say it once again,’ Marianne says. ‘You have raised an extraordinary girl and the both of you made my son a very happy man.’

I chuckle, as I watch Henry picking up Vanessa and as an answer, she pushes her nose against his cheek, before she bursts out in giggles. ‘Well, he makes me very happy too,’ I say.

Marianne places a hand on my knee and says: ‘From one mother to another, it’s always hard when you think you’re not giving your kids what they deserve, but you are doing an excellent job.’

I blink away some tears. ‘It’s just that… I always feel so guilty when I think about Vanessa and how desperately she wants to have a family, and I’m not able to give her that, but… I never knew how much I missed having a family around me, who cares about me like you all do. I think I forgot how it felt to be welcomed like I am here.’

Marianne nods. ‘Always remember: you don’t have to do it alone anymore. You are welcome here in our entire family and we would love to help you out.’

‘Thank you.’

‘They might make fun of Henry,’ she continues, ‘but his brothers know how happy he is with you. Piers just told me that he never seen Henry like this. Charlie said that you are by far the greatest woman he has ever met and both Simon and Niki are impressed by the way you raised your daughter. You two are truly to best that could ever happen to Henry, but also to us.’

I clear my throat and I stare at Henry, who holds Vanessa above his head, so she can throw the ball through the hoop. ‘Excuse me,’ I say, as I stand up and walk inside the house. I don’t know where I end, but somewhere where people can’t see me from outside.

I bury my face in my hands, as I let out a small sob, followed by many more. I shouldn’t be sad, I should be grateful. I am welcomed in a family with both arms wide open. But it all hits extra hard today. My little girl turned seven today. My boyfriend brought me to his family. Vanessa thanked me for finding her a new family.

‘Is everything alright, love?’ I hear Henry ask me.

I look up, wiping my tears away, but I can’t stop crying. Henry walks over to me and pulls me in a tight and safe hug. ‘It’s nothing,’ I whisper.

‘Don’t,’ he says. ‘Don’t do that. You can tell me what’s wrong.’

‘I’m just a bit emotional, that’s all,’ I say.

Henry gives me a kiss on my forehead and says: ‘Come with me for a second.’ He holds onto my hand, as I follow him through the house. We walk into a bedroom that is obviously his old one and I can’t help but smile, seeing the light blue walls and how neatly it’s all cleaned. We plop on his bed and he pulls me on his lap. ‘Tell me what is going on inside your head, sweetheart.’

‘I think it’s a combination,’ I whisper, looking at my hands. ‘First Vanessa turns seven, then not only does she gain a whole family, but I do too. Every year on her birthday, I kind of wish that we get a card from my family, or a text, you know. Now your brothers bought a lot of Vanessa’s birthday wish list, without ever meeting her.’

Henry pulls me closer to his body. ‘You deserve it,’ he says. ‘Both you and Vanessa. My family loves you, Olivia. Niki and Charlie are already trying to persuade me into bringing you two to our Christmas dinner. I actually think they love you two more than they love me.’

I chuckle, as I roll my eyes.

‘And I have to thank you too,’ he says. ‘Vanessa thanked you for finding her a family, but I have to thank you for allowing me in your own little family. You made me the happiest man on earth.’

I look at him again, wrap my arms around his neck and press a kiss on his cheek. ‘God, I love you like crazy,’ I whisper to him.

‘I love you too.’ His fingers play with the hem of my dress, before he slides his hand underneath the thin fabric. ‘You have to go to work tomorrow?’

‘I don’t actually,’ I say with a smile. I raise an eyebrow. ‘Why?’

‘It’s good to know when I can show you how much I love you.’ He buries his face in the crook of my neck and presses a wet kiss on the sensitive skin. ‘Maybe we should head back again,’ he says, even though we both want something else. It was thrilling to have sex under your parents roof when you were sixteen, but it’s not so cute and daring anymore once you’re nearing thirty and you have a kid.

We walk back downstairs and when we are back in the living room again, Vanessa rushes towards us. ‘Mommy, why are your eyes red? Did you cry?’

Great job, sweetheart, if you can repeat that once again, only louder this time, maybe the neighbors can hear it too. All the Cavills look at me and I clear my throat, feeling a bit self conscious now. ‘I was a little, but they were happy tears.’

Vanessa nods. ‘Henry, do you cry happy tears?’

He lifts her up when she is close enough and says: ‘Sometimes.’

‘When was the last time?’

‘A while ago,’ he says. ‘It was when you gave me that drawing,’ he says. ‘I cried a little bit when I was alone at my place again, because I finally knew for sure that you liked me.’

She chuckles. ‘Silly Henry, I don’t just like you. I love you a lot.’

There is an audible gasp in the living room and I know that I was part of that gasp, but from the looks of it, Marianne took part in it as well. Henry is at a loss for words, but his eyes do fill up with tears.

‘Are those happy tears?’ she asks him, tilting her head.

‘They certainly are, sunshine,’ Henry says, as he wraps an arm around my shoulders too. ‘And you know what’s such a coincidence? I love you a lot too.’ He presses his nose against her cheek. She holds his face in her tiny hands and rubs her nose against his, a little eskimo kiss. ‘I’m never letting you or your mom go,’ he says to her.

Vanessa chuckles. ‘Well, I wasn’t going to let you go,’ she tells him. ‘Because you make my mommy happy and when she’s happy, I am too.’

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #mister cavill your dog is kinda fat #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x Olivia Tran

[chanbig]

WWDITS for the ask game

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - okay yes yes this is obvious but Guillermo!!! vampire hunters have never been more sexy. I think about his little laugh when he caught nandors knife every day. smiley murder underpaid customer service king. he has so many layers and I love them all

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - nandoooor!!! I think he is also very layered and so funny and his depression eps and loneliness hit so hard god ouch. reeling for days. also idk who decided he should wear short shorts in the cult eps but I thank them every day for their gift.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - the guide omg kristen schaal doing the most to make me love this character. she has maybe the worst executive assistant job and like what kind of benefits does that job get you? not enough. it took me so long before I realized who the actress was. anyway she should run the counsel she'd get it done

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - nadja ghost!! doll nadja is my fav like yes she is like nadja but before she knew laszlo which is interesting to see and when she went on the rampage through New York I was dying like ajfjdjfj nadja and doll!nadja could have their own ep and I wouldnt even complain. comedy twins

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - okay not sure if this counts BUT I'd say colin robinson because he gets somewhat forgotten sometimes like hes not as popular as the rest of them but he is actually soo funny. perfect bastard roommate. I'd kill him in two seconds flat if I knew him irl which he'd LOVE but that's why he works as a character

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - laszlo but only because he'd also think it was fun. you know what I mean. also because of the end to the latest eps I am fuming

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - genuinely cannot think of one to send to superhell. I love them all.

#i did it!!!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Christmas Vacation

Summary: The Pads have some news that may end up changing the family. When the reader discovers how it all came about though, she has some words for her father and soon, for her new friend, Cody…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Square: Christmas

Word Count: 17,500ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N #1: I know I said I wouldn’t be doing more but here’s a little (okay, big) present for you guys! This part takes place right before and right after the very end of the Home timestamp...

A/N #2: Written for @spngenrebingo​

_______

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head into the office. He gave you a smile from the couch as you followed the doctor inside and took a seat beside him.

“Nice to see you again, Y/N. It’s been quite awhile since you joined Jared for a session,” said the doctor, Michael was his name you thought.

“Yeah. Uncle Jared and I talk a lot outside of therapy nowadays,” you said.

“Jared’s told me so. I encourage you both to continue to do so. We’ve both recognized changes in him since you’ve started to regularly open up to one another,” he said.

You turned your head, Jared shrugging. Sure, he seemed happier than when you first met him years ago but he didn’t bury himself with work and travel all the time now. He was home more and enjoying life. You felt like all you did was complain about this or that or the next thing to him.

“But Jared wanted to discuss something that he felt might need a moderator,” said Michael. “I understand you’ve spoken to Y/N’s parents about this as well?”

“Yeah,” said Jared, turning to you with a smile. “Yeah, I’ve...talked to your parents about this, kiddo. Gen knows too for obvious reasons but...we talked to them and I’d like your perspective on something if that’s okay.”

“Always,” you said. “What’s up?”

“So…” he said, biting his bottom lip. “Gen and I, we’re considering...adopting a boy.”

“Really?” you asked, a smile growing on your face. “That’s…”

You bit your lip to match his, smiling as you stared at your lap.

“I see why you thought a moderator might be helpful,” joked Michael. “Y/N do you want to say anything about that?”

“I’m so proud of you to even consider it,” you said, grinning when you caught the instant smile on his face. “Sorry, I know that sounds weird but like I’m proud of you? And you’re an unbelievable dad and any kid would be lucky to have you be their dad, to have you and Gen both.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said, glancing at Michael. “We...he’s actually not that much younger than you actually. He’s twenty three, he’s a police officer, just started.”

“Oh,” you said, still smiling. “I...I suppose I’m slightly confused how you guys met but...I think if you want to adopt him that’s awesome.”

“I think I’ve heard it from you enough to know that it doesn’t matter how old you get,” he said.

“You still want a family,” you said. “I’m really happy for you Uncle Jared.”

“I guess we know what it’s like to have that instant click with a kid,” he said.

“How’d you meet him? If that’s okay?” you asked. Jared tilted his head. 

“Your dad really didn’t tell you?”

Two Hours Later

“Jensen!” you shouted when you walked into their house, JJ wide eyed as she spun back around in the kitchen. “Where. Is. He.”

“Backyard with your children?” she asked. “Uh, you look pissed.”

“I-” you started, your mom walking out of the bedroom with a soft smile. “What-”

“Been a long time since you called dad that,” she said. 

“Instinct of rage,” you said, blinking slowly. “I need to talk to him. Now.”

“Swing set with the babes,” she said. You took off towards the back porch, grabbing JJ’s wrist along the way. “JJ, please make sure she doesn’t murder your father.”

“Dad’s on his own with this,” she said. You went outside with her, your dad all smiles as he pushed Allie on the swing gently, Colin settled on his hip.

“Hey guys, mommy’s home!” he said, Allie hopped off and ran over to you, her hug and smile making you forget your anger for a moment.

Colin smiled and reached out for you. Your dad knew you were mad but he also knew handing the kids off got him a chance to get out of there.

“Hi baby boy,” you said, giving him a kiss as your dad took off.

“JJ, get him,” you said. Your dad stared at her and then cocked his head at you.

“Really?” he said. “She’s not as scary as you.”

“Hey!” she said, walking up behind him, yelping when he threw her over his shoulder. “Dad!”

“Oh that was way too easy. You’re taking that same defense class your mom and sister took little lady,” he said.

“Dad,” you said, bending down to scoop up Allie, giving her a hug. “We’re talking later.”

“Yeah, sure thing, tall munchkin.”

You got the kids back home for their normal evening routine before they were in bed. TJ was playing some video games when you left him, nearly getting you to stay home when he came up with an interesting bet for a race but you needed to talk to your dad and you wanted to do it three hours ago.

You walked around the street corner and were walking in the front door within three minutes, Zeppelin wolfing down a bag of Cheetos in the kitchen like he’d never seen food before.

“How’s the start of puberty going?” you asked with a smirk.

“I’m hungry like all the freaking time,” he said, wiping off his hands. “And washing your face everyday sucks and the whole thing is just bad. If I’m anything like dad, I won’t even get tall for like five years.”

“At least you’re not poor Arrow,” you said.

“I know. She told me she had her first period last month,” he said. You stared at him, pursing your lips. “Am I not supposed to know that?”

“No. I mean, she can tell whoever she wants. Obviously don’t tell other people. It’s just sweet to see you two are just as close as ever,” you said.

“Apparently it feels like dying,” he said.

“It does...and then you have a child and then you actually know what it feels like to be dying and then you go back to having a period which is just awesome,” you said with a laugh. “Sorry. Too much info.”

“No, it’s cool,” he said. “It’s nice having an older sister to talk to about stuff.”

“Puberty?” you said, Zeppelin nodding, a question on his face. You nodded and you followed him upstairs to his room, letting you shut the door. “Zepp, you know you can always talk to dad and mom about this stuff. Growing up is weird. I mean, mom gave JJ and Arrow this book they have for girls that teaches you about your body. I don’t know if there’s a book out there like that for boys but you can always ask dad or call up TJ or Uncle Jared. There’s people around to talk to.”

“Can I ask you like...stuff,” he said.

“Sure. I won’t tell mom or dad, you know that,” you said.

“Is it weird that...in the morning stuff down there is starting to like...” he asked.

“No,” you said with a laugh. “No, dude. That’s perfectly normal for boys. It’s gonna stick around for a while so get used to it.”

“How do you get it to go away?” he asked.

“Hi guys,” said your dad, poking his head in the room thankfully. “What are you two up to behind closed doors?”

“Well you can either deal with me or tell Zepp how to get rid of his morning...surprise,” you said. He shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears, quickly grabbing your arm and leading you out. “You’re weak.”

“Nope. Nope. Nope,” said your dad, pulling you down the hall. “He’s eleven and you’re still my sweet innocent baby boy aren’t you, Zeppy. Never change, buddy.”

“Don’t avoid the conversation,” you said, following him down the stairs and onto the back porch.

“Oh, I’ll avoid it as long as I can,” he said.

“Zepp or me?”

“I’m not going to discuss your brother’s...we had a little talk after they got that one at school. Maybe I forgot to mention morning wood and that the same way you get it to go up is how it goes down but I’m sure the kid will figure it out in a few years,” he said. “Many, many years.”

“Dad,” you said. “You’ve been avoiding me all afternoon.”

“You seem...angry. It seemed like the smart move,” he said. 

“Do we run away from our problems?” you said.

“I ain’t five, kiddo,” he said.

“Then maybe you’ll tell me what the Ackles-Hanover Adoption program is,” you said. You stared at him, a flicker of concern on his face that started to grow. “Dad.”

“I...it was supposed to be a surprise,” he said.

“You made a charity, with my name on it,” you said. “One hell of a surprise.”

“I...Jared said he explained what it does. I don’t understand why you’re upset,” he said softly.

“You don’t understand why I’m upset?” you asked. “Seriously?”

“It’s meant to help kids and young adults that age out of foster care find parents and get adopted, even if they’re an adult. You don’t stop wanting a family that won’t throw you away,” he said.

“I understand the point of your charity,” you said, standing up and crossing your arms, staring out the screen porch to the dark yard. “You just...you don’t understand. I thought you did but you don’t.”

“Kiddo,” he said, standing up, giving you a hug from behind. You shrugged him off, glaring at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” said your mom, stepping onto the porch, pointing a finger at you. “You’re not a child. Don’t act like one.”

“You don’t even know what we were talking about,” you said, rolling your eyes. 

“Your father is having a bad day. Cut the shit,” she said, heading back inside. You looked over at him. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

“I’m fine,” he said. 

“Was it...cause of-”

“No. It was this morning. Really, it’s fine,” he said.

“We can talk about the charity thing tomorrow,” you said.

“Okay.”

“Do you want to go play Mario Kart?” you asked. He smiled, giving you a light nod. “After you tell me what happened.”

“Y/N, nothing-”

“Mom’s never acted like that which means it scared her,” you said. 

“Don’t tell your siblings,” he said with a sigh.

“Are you sick?” you swallowed.

“No, kiddo. There was a name mix up on some test results this morning was all. I am perfectly one hundred percent okay,” he said. 

“But you thought you were sick?” 

“For like an hour,” he said with a smile.

“How sick?”

“It doesn’t-”

“If you do ever get sick, you call me,” you said. “Don’t keep it from me.”

“Sort of my call kiddo,” he smiled.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “No. It’s not. You tell me. Promise.”

“I’m okay. I promise. Allie and Colin cheered me up so much when I was still bouncing back so you still helped me out today,” he said.

“I’m sorry I came in like that, acting like a brat,” you said, rubbing your arm.

“Brat’s are spoiled children. You’ve never been one of those,” he said. “Come on, let’s go kick the twins asses in a team race.”

“I’m home,” you said, sighing as you wandered into your bedroom, ditching your clothes by the laundry basket and tugging on one of TJ’s shirts. He was reading in bed, glancing over the top of his book when you crawled in beside him.

“You talk with your dad about whatever it is you won’t talk about?” he asked, flipping a page.

“TJ,” you said, eyes flicking up to meet his.

“That’s a no,” he said, setting the book down and turning off the light. He shifted down the bed, tucking you into his chest. “You’ve been jittery and pissed and more jittery ever since you got home from Jared’s session. Did he say something?”

“He told me something my dad is doing,” you said, closing your eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Sweetie.”

“Mhm?” you hummed.

“You should talk to Jensen,” he said.

“I don’t want to get in a fight,” you said.

“You’re gonna sleep like shit and I can already see whatever this is festering in your head. Deal with it, honey,” he said.

“Well I’m not getting dressed,” you said. He rolled over and grabbed his phone, turning back a moment later.

“He’ll be here in a minute,” he said.

“Had to marry a sweet boy, didn’t I,” you grumbled, rolling out of bed and pulling on some shorts, TJ smiling as you went out to the family room.

“Hey,” said your dad three minutes later sporting his own pajamas, popping in through the front door and kicking off his sneakers. “TJ said you needed to talk to me.”

“Please sit down,” you said. He took a seat in his normal spot on the couch, watching you walk around and settle in the other corner. “I’m sorry for earlier, saying you didn’t understand.”

“That’s okay, honey,” he said. “I probably don’t. I don’t understand why you’re upset so you probably have a point.”

“Dad,” you said, both your heads turning when you saw Allie stop on the landing of the stairs. “What’s up, alligator? You should be sleeping and not on the stairs.”

“I wet the bed,” she said, blushing when she saw your dad there. 

“S’okay, sweetie,” you said as you stood up. “I’ll be back in five.”

“Take your time,” he said. You went back upstairs with Allie and got her in a fresh diaper and pajamas and put new sheets on the bed, still ever grateful to your mom for the advice on the mattress protector. 

“Okay, you’re all set now,” you said, tucking her back in bed, giving her a kiss as you turned off her light.

“Mommy?” 

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, gorgeous,” you said, giving her another hug and round of kisses. “Get some sleep.”

She was conked out by the time you were pulling the door shut, your dad stretched out on the couch and staring at the ceiling when you got back.

“Sorry about that,” you said. 

“She’s not in diapers at night?” he asked.

“She’s barely two, dad,” you said. “Of course she’s still in diapers.”

“When did you get so old?” he said, turning his head with a smile. 

“First off, 26 dude. Second, you look at me sometimes like I’m a little girl you know,” you said. 

“Cause you’re my first baby girl. A part of me will always think that,” he said as he sat up, watching you settle back in your spot. “If the charity...we can pull the plug on it if you want. I don’t want it to upset you.”

“You all see all the good that could come from something like that. I get it. I see it too. You have an excellent point about people still wanting families after aging out of the system. I think it’s very noble in that way.”

“But,” he said.

“But I see all the ways it can go wrong and there are so, so many ways it can go wrong, dad. These people...they got issues. You know first hand what it’s like. I just see the ways they can get hurt and these people already hurt. You get one person doing it for the wrong reasons-”

“I know. We’ve talked about all that. But there’s a difference between this charity and foster care. The adults, they can walk away. It’s not like when you were a kid and got in a bad home and were stuck. These people can walk away and even then, it’ll never be like that. All families looking to adopt will be screened. This isn’t a small thing, kiddo. It’s...it’s been in the works a few years,” he said.

“Years,” you said, closing your eyes. “I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but you continue to do so.”

“That first year was the scariest. That first month was the scariest, when you first came to us. I remember,” he said.

“Even adopting Allie and being a mom to her and Colin, that’s scary but it’s not the same,” you said, peeling open your eyes. “At least with that it’s me and TJ and we got our family behind us.”

“Do you think you would have wound up with TJ if you’d just, aged out of the system?” asked your dad. “Like if you went to school together still?”

“I don’t think so,” you said, leaning back and tucking your legs in to your chest. 

“Why not?”

“I was too broken before,” you said quietly, glancing at your toes. “A lot got fixed before I met him. I think he would have taken one look at me and thought-”

“I’m gonna marry that girl someday,” you heard, your gaze going up, TJ leaning against the wall, giving you a sad smile. “I brought you over here to kiss and make up, not make her feel worse, Jensen.”

“The point I was trying to make, dofus, was that you have loved her from day one,” said your dad with a smirk back at TJ. “And that she was the one that asked you out. She was the one that kept herself doing well in school. She’s the one that never let boys take advantage of her. She’s the one that told me five minutes of moving in exactly what she needed from me, even if she didn’t know it. You’ve always done the hard and scary thing, kiddo. There’s a lot of other kids like you out there. They just want someone to call on a bad day, some place to go have Sunday dinner, people that are theirs. It’s going to be scary for them too. But you know what it’s like to be on the other side of it now. I think you’d do it again if you knew what the end result was going to be.”

“Yeah, I’d do it all in a heartbeat,” you said.

“Mom and I just want to help the kids that didn’t get picked. None of those kids got thrown away. They just haven’t found their right family yet,” he said.

“Seriously though, you like, work for hallmark on the side and just don’t tell anyone, right?” said TJ.

“TJ’s the one that ate the last of your mint ice cream,” he said with a smile as he hopped up, TJ’s face falling.

“You’re dead to me, Ackles,” he said.

“Oh, it’s adorable when he’s all angry,” said your dad, pinching his cheek as he went past.

“You’re a dickhead,” he said.

“Well I’ve known that for years,” he laughed as he pulled on his shoes. “We okay now, sweetie?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod, getting up and wrapping your arms around TJ. “If...if even just one person gets something out of it, then that’s okay with me.”

“It’ll be a while before it goes public but the few test cases are working out so far. One of the sets of parents are even starting adoption which for an adult, is way quicker,” he said.

“Jared said he and Gen…” you trailed off. 

“They’re one of the test cases. A newer one but they’ve been hanging out with Cody. He’s...he’s very much like you, Y/N. The Pads are inviting him to come up to the vacation house with everyone for our trip in a few weeks. I think maybe you two should talk, tell him about the brighter side of life,” he said.

“When’d he go in?” you asked.

“You can ask him yourself in a few weeks,” he said, giving you both a hug. “Night guys.”

Three Weeks Later

“Oh my God,” you groaned, dropping another bag out of the trunk of the car, tilting your head back, quickly turning it into a smile when you saw Colin on JJ’s hip. “Well hey there big man. Look at you being a cutie with Aunt JJ.”

“Afh,” he giggled, rubbing his hands over JJ’s face.

“Come on, buddy,” said JJ, as she walked past with a backpack on her shoulders. “Let’s find you some milk.”

“His bottles should be in-”

“The green bag. I’ve babysat my nephew enough, sis,” she laughed. “Come on, Colin before you get eaten by a bear.”

“There better be no bears here,” you grumbled.

“Nope, just coyotes,” said Jared with a smirk as he came up behind you.

“Seriously? Thank you for easing my concerns with my toddler and infant,” you said, getting a hug from him and the rest of the crew, Tom already off looking for JJ. Your gaze went to the guy a little older and hanging back some, Gen pulling an arm around him and moving him forward.

“Cody, this is Y/N,” she said.

“She’s Ackles oldest. Y/N’s husband TJ’s around here with their other kiddo somewhere I’m sure,” said Jared.

He nodded and you returned it, a little tension running out of his shoulders.

“So, uh, let’s introduce you to everybody, hm?” 

“I’m glad we bought this place,” said your mom, taking Colin off your lap after a later dinner, a small rainstorm keeping everyone inside for the night. “Even if it is a bit outdated.”

“I’m sure we’ll get our use out of it over the years,” said TJ with a smile.

“Well I think the kids having their own room is nice. Gives the little one’s a quiet place to sleep,” said your dad, Allie passed out on his hip, her head on his shoulder. “Speaking of which, let’s go put the pups to bed, grandma.”

“Remember what I did to you last time you called me, Grandma, Jensen,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh. I remember. I’m hoping you do it again. Grandma,” he said, giving her a wink. You rolled your eyes as they left, your dad leaning down quickly. “Hey. Why don’t you guys see if you can get Cody to come out of his room. He’s been holed up in there since dinner.”

“We will. Night dad,” you said.

“Night,” they said as they took off. You gave TJ a smile as you stood and headed for one of the downstairs bedrooms, a small room but the bed was comfy and there was a private bath with it. You knocked once and pushed it open, Cody, laying in bed with his computer.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey.”

“The old people are in bed and the pre-teens are off watching a movie up in the loft if you want to hang out with me and TJ,” you said.

“Thanks but I’m kind of tired,” he said. You nodded, shutting the door behind you. He watched you carefully as you sat down on the end of the bed.

“Isn’t the whole point of this program so you can be with your family? Get to know them, see if they’re a good fit for you?” you asked.

“I wasn’t thinking when my old case worker called me up and told me about it,” he said. “I don’t really care about these rich people or you so you can leave now.”

“Jared and Gen, they tell you anything about me,” you asked.

“Yeah. You’re the adopted girl,” he said, glancing over the screen.

“I was in the system for nearly eight years, Cody. Cut the shit,” you said.

“Been in since I was five, aged out. Looks like I win the sad sap award,” he said. You shut his computer, Cody narrowing his eyes at you. “How many homes?”

“14. You?”

“17. Winner again. Leave me alone.”

“Wow. You really are just like me,” you said.

“Uh no, you and me aren’t the same, princess,” he said.

“I ain’t a princess, jerk,” you said. “You’re not in foster care anymore so stop the games.”

“Oh, because I’m sure you were adopted for you,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You sure those two kids out there are even the other guys? Or are they new daddy’s little-”

“You can shut the fuck up. That is not how people in this family talk to each other and for the record, asshole, I adopted my daughter after some other assholes left her in a box to die. She’s lucky my husband and I even found her. I am close with my father because he is my father and he’s helped me stop being an asshole like you and he’s shown me how to be a good person. That’s who we are. You don’t want a family, fine. There’s the fucking door,” you said, leaving and slamming his shut.

You were fuming by the time you got to the end of the hallway, hands in fists, your dad poking his head over the upstairs balcony.

“What was that?” he asked.

“That kid’s got a mouth on him,” you grumbled.

“Go get an apology then,” he said. “He’s not a child after all.”

“Yeah, that’ll go great,” you said. You sighed and went back down the hall, Cody missing from his room.

You went back to the living room, TJ watching the start of a movie.

“He ducked outside. I think he’s on the covered porch,” he said. You nodded, going past and out the back door, Cody sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, staring at the dark woods.

“I found the door,” he said, not bothering to look up. “I’ll be gone in the morning, don’t worry about it.”

“What’s the rule, Cody? The unspoken rule we have in foster care as the older kids.”

“Take care of the younger ones,” he said quietly.

“So you gonna let me take care of you or are you going to say something mean again because you’re scared?” you asked. “I know it’s an act. I’ve done it all so you want to pretend with everybody else, okay, but don’t do it to me. I know the difference.”

“Could you leave me alone?” he said. “You’re so freaking annoying.”

“Oh. You hurt my feelings there tough guy,” you deadpanned. “You ain’t getting out of this conversation.”

“I bet new daddy sent you out here huh,” he said.

“Well my new daddy sure is a hell of a lot better at knowing what to say than I am,” you mumbled, crossing your arms as you sat down in a chair. 

“This was a mistake,” he grumbled to himself.

“No, it’s not. You’re just scared and you want to runaway because you think you don’t fit in,” you said.

“Can you please be quiet for one minute?” he said.

You kicked your legs out in front of you, watching the rain fall and Cody debating getting up beside you.

“Do you remember them? Your parents?” you asked.

“Raised by grandparents. Mom didn’t want me and was dead by the time I was three anyways,” he said. “Never met my dad.”

“Jared’s a good dad. Gen’s a good mom too. There’s benefits to having younger parents,” you said.

“Like what?”

“Like you get two parents but you get two friends too...eventually,” you said, pursing your lip.

“I already got friends,” he said, turning his head. “I only did this as a favor for my case worker.”

“Back to the lying already?” you teased, slouching down in your seat. “Do yourself a favor, Cody. Give the Pads, give all of us, a sliver of trust. It’ll help.”

“I’m the rich people’s charity case,” he mumbled. “Princess.”

“Yeah, maybe I am quite a bit better off than most 26 year olds. I got a nice house, a new car, no student loan. I go on nice vacations with my family. Maybe I am the spoiled princess you think I am. And I would throw all of those things away in a heartbeat. It’s stuff, it doesn’t matter. The point of this house is for the people in it to have a good time and be a family and make memories. Sure, some rich people are stuck up snobs and sure, none of these guys, none of us kids, will ever have to worry about money. But they’re the kind of people that want you to text them that you got home safe. They will go to the end of the earth for you. They’re good.”

“Like I said, I ain’t drinking the kool aid they’ve been handing out,” said Cody.

“Okay,” you said. “Just saying is all.”

“Just saying what?”

“Just saying I don’t want to know what five more years of feeling alone would have done to me,” you said, turning your head to him. “A bit of advice though, Cody. Don’t ever say something like what you did to me before in front of my father, or Jared or anyone else here. You need someone to be the punching bag, okay. I can take it. Pretend with me so you can be the real you with them, alright?”

“Remember what I said about friends? Well you’re not one of them so leave me alone,” he said. He stood up and left and you saw a flashlight in the yard after a moment, quickly disappearing.

You sighed as you went inside, heading for the coat rack when TJ cocked his head.

“You want me to come?” he asked.

“No. This is something we need to figure out,” you said, zipping up your jacket.

“He doesn’t have the right to be mean to you,” he said.

“No. But he is allowed to be scared,” you said. “People mix those two up sometimes.”

“Don’t get lost. Or hurt,” he said.

“I won’t. Don’t stay up for me if I’m gone awhile, okay?”

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” he said, smiling as you leaned over the couch to give him a kiss. “Go bring him back home.”

“I love you,” you smiled, kissing his cheek before you pulled on your boots and were out the door.

You walked around to the trail, rain coming down steady but it wasn’t freezing thankfully. You followed it until you got to the path to the lake and turned down there, smirking when you saw Cody sitting under the covered decking.

“Hey,” you said, Cody rolling his eyes at you. “Nice to see you too.”

“For fucks sake. What part of-“

“Contrary to what you may have experienced, people aren’t supposed to treat their kids like trash. They aren’t supposed to be cruel. You’re not supposed to be afraid of a hug. It’ll take time to unlearn all that crap. I’m nearly ten years into this Cody. I have lived almost more of my life with these people than with my birth parents. I tried to runaway when I got here. My seventeenth birthday I tried to run away. I tried to push them away. I wanted nothing to do with them. They wouldn’t let me give up and I’m not going to let you walk away because this is hard. It’s fucking hard and terrifying and it’s nothing any of them can understand properly. But I know you want this so I’m not going to let you just get through this vacation so you can run away when we all go home. It’s not happening.”

“Why do you even care?” he asked.

“Cause you’re my family.”

“The Padalecki’s aren’t even related to you,” he said.

“You don’t need to be related to someone for them to be your family. Trust me,” you said. “Just one thing, just tell me one thing that’s scaring you so I can try to help.”

He was quiet and looked out at the lake, his back to you for a few minutes.

“Sometimes I still feel like I'm a terrified five year old,” he said. You stepped beside him and nodded. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I get that,” you said quietly. “I used to be like that. Sometimes on bad days it creeps back in even.”

“How’d you not be like that?”

“Hey,” you heard behind you. You both spun around, Jared in a raincoat and sporting a concerned smile. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, looking back to Cody. “Simple answer? They kind of beat me over the head with their love until I realized I was worth it. They’ll keep doing it, even on the bad days.”

“How…” he trailed off as you walked past Jared.

“I had a talk with my dad on a rainy night once,” you said with a smile. “You just got to be brave enough to believe what they say.”

Cody nodded, Jared giving you one of his own before he walked down towards Cody.

“Careful on your way up to the house, Y/N,” he said.

“I know. I’ll see you guys at breakfast.”

One Month Later

“Mam’,” you heard as you spun around at the bar. You smiled when you saw Cody in his uniform, another older officer with him.

“Hi. The ambulance just took away the guy with heat stroke. I think he was gonna be okay though,” you said.

“Hot day out,” said the other officer.

“You guys want a beer?” you said. “We got water if you’re on duty.”

“I would take a cold bottle of water if you’ve got one,” said the officer. You smiled and dug back into the cooler, pulling two out.

“On the house,” you said, handing one out to each of them. Cody nodded, the officer glancing back and forth between you.

“You two know each other or something?” he asked.

“Y/N’s that other ex foster kid I told you about,” he said quietly.

“Really? Glad Cody here has someone his own age to talk to about that sort of thing. Sometimes I get the feeling I don’t get told everything which is silly considering we’re partners,” he said.

“We should get back on patrol,” said Cody.

“Hey we’re due for our lunch break. Let’s grab a bite at that food truck outside,” he said. Cody sighed and followed him out, one of the summer hires taking over for you as you followed after them.

“What?” asked Cody, his partner already off and in line.

“I haven’t seen you around since vacation. You kind of kept your distance,” you said. 

“I told you. I don’t like you,” he said.

“Oh,” you said. “Uh, sorry.”

“Just forget about it,” he said, waving you off as he got in line. You went back inside and to the back of the brewery, trying to work on a few things in the office before you were over at the bags of hops and unloading them from a pallet.

“Well that’s never a good sign,” you heard. You stood up and spun around, your dad jogging over to give you a hug. “Hello tall munchkin. I love you.”

“Hi,” you said, going back to work when he released you.

“You only do this when you’re upset you know,” he said. “You and TJ have a fight?”

“No.”

“Something to do with work?”

“No.”

“Bad day?”

“No.”

“Do you know how to say anything besides no?”

“Dad,” you groaned.

“Come on, take your lunch break,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You went out to the back patio area for employees, your dad taking off towards his truck and returning after a moment with a pair of sandwiches from the store down the street. 

“Thanks,” you said, eating quietly, sharing a bag of chips with him. He frowned when you only ate half though and wrapped up the rest for later. “Dad.”

“You barely ate anything and TJ says you aren’t eating as much as normal,” he said. 

“Why the fuck do you two talk about that?” you snapped.

“Because it’s one of the obvious signs that something is going on with you. You’ve been funny since vacation. Quiet and sad and it’s got more than just me and TJ concerned,” he said. “You don’t need to ration food and you know it.”

“I’m not hungry,” you said.

“Are you sick?” he asked as he placed a hand on your forehead. 

“I’m not sick,” you said, his hand touching your cheek and neck before you stood up and walked away. “I have to get back to work.”

“That was ten minutes and last I checked our employees get hour lunches,” he said.

“Well I got shit to do,” you said as you stormed away.

“Y/N,” he said loudly, freezing you in place. You felt a hand run up and down your back, settling between your shoulder blades and rubbing in place there. “What happened with Cody? Did he say something or do something to you? You can tell us. You can just tell mom if you want. Just talk to someone, honey.”

“I screwed up,” you said shakily. “I didn’t talk to him right and he doesn’t like me and I tried to tell him this is a good family and I think all I did was push him away from it.”

“S’not your job to do that,” he said.

“You made me feel so at home though and loved and I screwed it up so wrong and how much am I screwing up Allie and Colin and everything else,” you said as you spun around. He tilted his head and gave you a sad smile, pulling you into a hug.

“You are a wonderful mother, honey. You love those two so much and I know they healed things in you the rest of us couldn’t touch. You are better than so many other parents out there,” he said. “You and TJ always put your kids first.”

“But I screwed up,” you said.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” you said. You took a step back from him, pursing your lips. “I just want space, dad. Just give me some space.”

“Okay. Whatever you need to get your head on straight.”

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head up when you saw him walk into your house the next day. 

“We were out on a run. TJ said we could grab a drink . Forgot our bottles at home,” he said.

“Mhm,” you hummed. “Take whatever you want.”

“Thanks,” he said as you went back to your notebook, glancing out the front window and pausing. “TJ out there teaching Allie how to wash the car?”

“Yeah. She’s got a little bit of a tomboy streak in her. Daddy’s girl,” you said.

“Well Colin is totally a momma’s boy, like his grandpa,” he laughed. “Where is the adorable babe?”

“He’s having a playdate with some friends of ours. They’re thinking of a kid so we said take him for the day, see what it’s like,” you smiled. You went back to writing in your notebook, feeling Jared behind you. “Yes?”

“You’re doing your notebook again,” he said.

“And?”

“Do you want to come to another session with me?”

“What is wrong with all of you lately?” you snapped. Jared held up his hands and backed away. “I got chores to do when I’m done with this so if you don’t mind…”

“Alright. Thanks for the water,” he said.

Two hours later you were huffing as you and TJ walked out to the driveway.

“Allie just got down for a nap. What are you so pissed about?” he asked.

“All I said was I was going to skip my session this week,” you said. “I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, when we’re away or something pops up. You’ve never skipped because you don’t want to go,” he said.

“I’ve got stuff to do on Thursday.”

“Like what?” he said. “Does your work suddenly have some kind of rules against employees taking time in the day for that sort of thing because I seriously doubt your parents would-”

“I don’t want to fight. Just give me space,” you said as you started to head down the driveway.

“Where are you going?” he said.

“A walk to cool off. Don’t worry about me.”

You’d walked over to the park about a mile away and settled on a bench, one you normally used to watch Allie run around on the playground from.

“Y/N.”

You looked left and saw Cody in his uniform, Cody looking around before he took a seat.

“What do you want?”

“Your dad, your mom, your husband, Jared and Gen...they’re all concerned. They asked me to come find you,” he said.

“Well you found me,” you said. “Not that I was hiding.”

“What happened,” he said. “You’re not the confident chick that was saying all that stuff to me at the house anymore.”

“I never was,” you said.

“I never apologized for what I said. I’m sorry,” he said.

“A few mean words don’t get under my skin anymore, Cody,” you said.

“You sort of look forward to the words after a while. It used to beat the alternative,” he said. You glanced over at him, Cody raising an eyebrow. “I know you were in some very bad homes. I was in a few bad ones myself. I know what goes on in those ones. I know it fucks you up pretty good.”

“I jumped down your throat at the house about you opening up and all I did was push you away from a family. A really great family. I didn’t just hurt someone. I hurt someone like me. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life,” you said.

He stared at you for a moment, glancing down at his lap with a smile.

“How long has it been? About three weeks since the house?” he asked. You nodded, Cody sitting back against the bench. “Sort of been the best three weeks ever you know.”

You whipped your head up, Cody shrugging at you.

“I needed you to say that stuff to me Y/N. You’re right. I was fucking terrified. I think part of me will always keep a little of that fear if you’re anything to go by but I’ll forget about, it’ll just be there as a reminder of the old me. I’m sorry I was a dickhead and I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about any of this since. I’ve been trying to figure it out in my head. It sounds like I’m the reason you’re acting like this lately.”

“I get...funny sometimes,” you said, rubbing your arm. “Scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared that I don’t deserve the people I have in my life,” you said. “I know that’s not true but...I just get scared. I’m normally really good at pushing it back down and convincing myself that it’s just my head screwing with me but...you were too big a screw up. I did something so wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, lowering his head. “I forgot the number one rule. The kids stick together.”

You nodded and gave him a half smile, Cody returning it.

“I want what you have, Y/N. I want it and I want parents and a family and to not feel like this shit is burying me everyday of my life. I’m so freaking tired of being alone. I’m not going to be perfect and you’re so much tougher than me cause you did it alone but...I need you to help me, help me not be so scared. I’m learning and it’s so slow but I think you can help me. But you got to keep calling me out on my shit. I don’t like being mean or making people feel bad about themselves. Everything has always come with a cost and I don’t know how to just take and not expect anything in return.”

“I can help,” you said. “I just...have to remember not to take everything you say to heart.”

“I’m sorry I said I don’t like you. The stuff about your dad too, that was out of line. I’m sorry,” he said.

“This is going to be one of the hardest things you do in your life, Cody. No one’s expecting you to be perfect. You never have to be perfect. Just try and be a little forgiving of us when we overreact or don’t say the right thing. We have to learn too,” you said.

“Why do you care so much about if this works out for me?”

“Everyone deserves a family, Cody.”

“Hey,” you said, giving TJ a smile when Cody dropped you off outside your house. He was pouting on the front porch, your dad out front with him. You saw your mom inside with Allie, getting a quick glance from her as you walked over. “Um...listen for a minute before you guys talk please. I...I thought...well I talked with Cody and...I knew exactly what I wanted to say in the car too.”

“Y/N,” said TJ. You gave him a soft smile, his face relaxing. “You seem like your old self again.”

“Cody and I...we...he...he’s going to be okay now,” you finally said. 

“Are you okay now?” asked your dad.

“Yeah,” you said, giving him a smile. “I used to make you feel bad, didn’t I. The things I used to say.”

“We thought we were hurting more than we were helping at the beginning. But we saw you trying and we knew that us just being afraid. You are not Cody’s responsibility though, Y/N. He’s a grown man,” said your dad.

“Yes, he is. He’s also a child,” you said, your dad leaning back in his seat. “I think like he does. I can help him. If I can help him make this process even a sliver easier, I’ll take a few crappy weeks to do it. He said the past few weeks have been some of the best he’s ever had. It’s worth it then.”

“I’m not trying to start anything, I just...why is what he’s feeling more important than what you are?” asked TJ.

“It’s not. I know from experience though, this is literally the hardest thing he’ll have ever done in his life so far. We can help him. But we can’t get mad when he makes mistakes. Yeah, he’s 23. He’s gone so long without unconditional love, I don’t think he knows what it even is anymore. So you guys gotta help too. I’m okay now, really. Maybe he’s not my responsibility but then again, I was never yours. No one made you take me. No one made the Pads take him. You both chose to help a kid. Now please help me help him.”

“Okay,” said your dad. “But anybody here sees you slip back even a little-”

“I know. I know. I got my head on straight now. I promise.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you laughed into the phone, TJ still trying to tickle you. “Thomas James Hanover. You need to stop young man.”

“Make me,” he giggled as he plopped on top of you.

“Sorry, Jared. What’s up?” you asked, nothing but quiet breathing coming from the other end. “Jare, you there?”

“Yeah. Um...I...I got in a fight with Cody. He was hanging out and I invited him to do Christmas with us in a few weeks and he got really...defensive,” he said. “He kind of blew up.”

“He still there?” you asked, TJ sitting upright. 

“He was staying over tonight. His car’s still here but he went out on the back patio and…” he said, pausing in the background. “He’s twenty three and I’m still worried. I shouldn’t have...fuck. Happy Birthday kiddo. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called and-”

“Hey. It’s cool. I’ll be right over, okay? I’m not supposed to be at my parents until later,” you said.

“Y/N, you really don’t-”

“Jared,” you said. “It’s fine. I swear. I’ll be right there.”

You hung up and TJ stood up with you. You raised an eyebrow but he smiled.

“I’m coming with this time,” he said.

“Alright,” you said. It was only a two minute drive to Jared’s and you were quickly in their driveway, walking around the side of the house, the backyard dark. “Anyone-”

“Surprise!” you heard, nearly jumping straight back into TJ when the lights turned on. You groaned and tilted your head against his chest, a chuckle rumbling through the crowd, your dad cracking up as he walked over.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a surprise party for you?” he teased, kissing your forehead. “Happy Birthday, tall munchkin.”

“Losers. You’re all losers,” you said, your friends and family returning to milling about for the moment, Jared and Cody walking over with smirks. “You two...don’t you pull something like that again, got it?”

“Yeah, we got it,” said Jared. “I almost felt a little bad there until I remembered what I got you for a present. Totally makes up for it.”

“Mhm,” you said, looking at Cody. “What’s your excuse?”

“Uh...I...well I actually did talk to Jared and Gen about the holidays and…” he trailed off, looking at Jared. He smiled and threw an arm over Cody’s shoulders, giving him a squeezing hug.

“Somebody’s gonna have Christmas with us,” said Jared, Cody rolling his eyes. “We’re so happy he said yes.”

“It’s just a holiday,” said Cody with a shrug. 

“Hey, Cody, show me where to grab a beer around here,” said TJ, taking off with Cody.

“How’d he really take the being invited to Christmas thing?” you asked.

“He’s nervous. But he said he’d try. He didn’t want anything though so naturally we’re going to spoil him rotten,” said Jared with a big grin.

“Spoil ‘em a little. Sentiment means more than you realize with these guys,” said your dad, wrapping his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Ain’t that right?”

“The old goot kind of has a point,” you said.

“I am fifty you little shit,” he said, waddling you over to the cake. “It’s just a sheet cake for everyone and then for the more refined tastes of certain family members...cookie cake is in the fridge.”

“Yes,” you said, getting a laugh from him. “So were you the mastermind behind this?”

“I can’t divulge my secrets,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Go on. Enjoy your party with your friends. You can hang out with your decrepit father later.”

“Still not old, dad,” you said with a smile. 

“Damn right I’m not,” he said.

“Mom,” you called, catching her laugh before she even got all the way over. “Dad’s extra clingy tonight.”

“Extra clingy every night,” he said, flashing her a wink.

“Excuse me while I go vomit,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “Thanks guys.”

“Anytime, kiddo.”

“Thanks for the party,” you said, dropping off the kids overnight bag at your parents place a few hours later. “And for taking the kids for the night so we can have some adult time.”

“You mean so you can sleep in tomorrow?” teased your dad.

“One hundred percent,” you said, watching him follow you outside. “Forget something?”

“You got one more present,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back, a smirk on his lips.

“Dad. The wine and the headphones were more than enough. In fact it was too much. I really don’t need stuff. Spend it on the other guys, really,” you said.

“Oh but this is a...unique present. It’s for both of us actually. In fact, I can’t ever even give it to you,” he said.

“Did you get me a riddle?” you laughed. “I am so confused.”

“Come here,” he said, standing under the light on the covered front patio. You stood there with him, your dad holding up his left arm. You raised an eyebrow, the shirt sleeve riding up to show off his tattoos for JJ and the twins. He turned his arm over so you could see the inside of his bicep, a dark mark on his skin you’d never seen before.

It was a simple black heart shape and you got closer, the outline made up of two words.

“Tall munchkin,” you said quietly, biting your bottom lip when he smiled. “You got a tattoo for me.”

“About time I got one for all my kids. Sorry it took so long to figure it out, tall munchkin,” he said. You titled your head, pursing your lips. He put a hand on your head and ran it through your hair, ruffling it up before he tucked a few pieces behind your ear. “You like your last present?”

“Yeah,” you said. “No way you’re ever going to top that one though.”

“Challenge accepted,” he said. “Go on. Let TJ go be all romantic. Kid’s got a pretty sweet surprise at home for you.”

“Dad,” you said, getting a hum from him. “I don’t really say it a lot but thank you for being TJ’s dad too. He appreciates it more than he lets on.”

“I know. I know you take care of him too though,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Now get.”

“Love you,” you said, kissing his cheek, a goofy smile crossing his face. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said. 

“I’ve never kissed you, have I,” you said.

“Well, you’re also not a little girl,” he said. “Speaking of which, go on miss I’m twenty seven before I change my mind and send the kids back with you.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Colin,” you said, sitting with him on the first step in your parents pool the next day with your feet in the water. It was a little chilly but Colin loved the water and you knew a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. “I know the water is exciting but must you splash everywhere, baby?”

“Unh?” he said, hitting his hands against the water again.

“You take after your father alright,” you said, scooping him up. “You’re due for a nap anyways.”

“I’ll take the babe,” said Jared when you heard him behind you. You spun around and gave him a smile, handing off Colin.

“Just rinse off his feet quick if you don’t mind. He’ll get a bath later,” you said.

“Yes mam’,” he said, Allie running over from the swing set and giving him a hug. “Alright, how about both you guys get in a nap and then we can play?”

Allie nodded and Jared picked her up, carrying them back into the house when you spotted Cody head over.

“Sup,” you said, Cody taking a seat on the step with you.

“Hey,” he said.

“How’s it going?” you asked.

“Good,” he said.

“Good.”

“How’re the kids?”

“Good. Still little monsters,” you said.

“Hey, you been with these guys like ten years right?” he asked.

“Just over that. Yeah,” you said. “Why?”

“Just curious,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, glancing across the yard to see your dad and TJ wrestling a bit in the grass. “Isn’t TJ like, afraid he’ll hurt him?”

“My dad might be fifty but he’s probably tougher than you,” you said with a laugh. “You can go play with the boys if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine here,” he said, wiggling his toes in the water. “That’s colder than I was expecting.”

“You excited for Christmas? It’s only a few weeks away,” you said. “You got to tell me what you want too.”

“I don’t need anything,” he said. You cocked your head and he sighed. “A gift card is fine, really.”

“Alright,” you said, leaning back against your palms. “How’s work?”

“Good. Mostly low level stuff lately,” he said.

“Do you ever get scared?” you asked, Cody turning his head back. “I’d get scared. I’ll literally call my dad to kill the spiders in my house if TJ’s not around.”

“No. It’s not being scared. Just being aware of your surroundings. They train you really good on that stuff. This whole family situation is a million times scarier to me,” he said.

“I know. It’s like taking some beat up broken thing off the floor that’s you and handing it over to someone and asking them not to hurt it anymore,” you said. 

“I’m not even at the point where I’ve handed it over,” he said.

“It took me a long to admit to myself that I loved my family. It took me probably ten months before I ever told any of them I loved them and I lived here back then,” you said.

“When did you know?” he asked. “That you loved them?”

“When I felt the first bit of it or when I knew it was unconditional?”

“Both?” he asked.

“Well the first bit was my first day. It was this tiny, tiny little thing that I barely felt for more than a second but my dad, see I told him not to bothering caring about me and that I would never trust him, never believe him that they wanted me as part of their family. He told me he’d prove me wrong. That was the first flicker of something that was built on until...you know stuff happened with me right? With my foster care cases and everything?” you asked.

“It was on the news. I remember our case worker coming and talking to all of us kids about it and about reporting anything bad,” said Cody.

“I remember that day. I remember doubting them for a second, that they had called and asked I be removed. I felt so awful for thinking that. But for a split second, I thought this guy, Jensen, I thought this guy that had spent the past six or so months telling me he loved me, taking care of me, building up this trust...I thought he didn’t want me anymore. It was my worst nightmare. My mom, De, she’s always been a little easier. I don’t know if it’s cause we’re girls or if because I didn’t have the same level of problems with old foster moms as I did dads but Jensen...I was a bratty little bitch to him so many times. So many times. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven for all of it. But he never once made me feel afraid or scared. He protected me. He still protects me. I’ve been here just over ten years now and sometimes I still feel like a kid that wants her dad to fix whatever’s wrong. He does. It’s not bruises or intimidating boys but stuff like late night talks, staying over when TJ’s out of town, that kind of stuff.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s okay to be scared. You’re gonna be scared for a while probably. It took a long time to love my family unconditionally. Longer than it took them. It’s part of the deal. You’ll slip up and have doubts. It may happen years later even. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do it is all,” you said.

“So when did you know it was unconditional?” he asked. “Them, I mean.”

“Day I asked to be adopted. But it’s funny. That was the day I knew but every day before that I knew too. I didn’t want to admit it to myself was all,” you said. “Defense mechanism.”

“I got a lot of those,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how to trust them.”

“There’s no magic answer, Cody. I didn’t know how to trust my parents either. Or TJ at first. But you’re learning. Think of our first day and now,” you said. “It’s a lot of stumbling baby steps.”

“What are you two munchkins talking about?” you heard your dad say, suddenly ruffling the top of your head, Cody getting one of his own.

“Stuff. TJ kick your ass, old man?” you smirked as you titled your head back.

“That boy should take the self-defense class you took,” he said, nodding to the right. You turned your head and burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” said TJ, rolling around on the ground, one of his hands tied to his ankle with his sweatshirt string, his hood pulled down so only his nose was sticking out. “Jensen! I hear you laughing, asshole!”

“Better go save your damsel in distress,” laughed your dad.

“I hate you!” he shouted.

“No you don’t,” said your dad as you pulled your feet out of the water, Cody following suit. “Maybe Cody could teach you a thing or two. I bet he knows a few moves.”

“Or maybe next time Cody can join in and…” said TJ when you walked over to push his hood back and he shook out his head. “I know the two of us could take you.”

“Oh, yes. Two fit boys in their twenties versus the fifty year old because that’s a fair fight. Jared and I against you two though, we win every time,” said your dad.

“Boys. You guys never grow up, do you,” you said, helping TJ for a moment before he popped up. 

“Two out of three,” he said.

“Oh, I’m ready if you are, kid,” said your dad.

“Jensen!” your mom shouted from the porch. “What are you doing to your son-in-law?”

“Nothing,” he said, quickly putting his hands behind his back and putting on an innocent smile.

“Well if you four are done playing in the grass, come in and wash up. Lunch is ready soon,” she said. You hung back with Cody, TJ trying to give your dad a noogie but failing and winding up with one himself, the two chuckling as they headed inside.

“Your dad is kinda...something else,” he said as you took the long way around the house.

“TJ’s dad isn’t the greatest. He’s not a bad guy but TJ and him don’t have the relationship my dad and him do. TJ’s dad is more of a boys don’t have feelings kind of guy,” you said.

“I know the type,” said Cody.

“My dad and TJ got pretty close after we got engaged. TJ’s his kid too,” you said with a small smile. “It’s like how Jared and Gen and the kids are my family even if they’re not. This is what our family is.”

“Does it ever go away? That feeling?” he asked. “Not belonging?”

“Yes. Eventually. The doubt will creep back in sometimes. But these people will smother you with love when that happens,” you said. “But if these guys aren’t the right fit, then maybe we can help you find whatever you think that fit is. I’ll help you.”

“I like them. I have to work more on that trusting them thing though,” he said.

“It’ll happen. Trust me.”

Christmas Night

“Oh, there’s my adorable children,” whispered your dad. You had your head resting on TJ’s shoulder, Arrow passed out on TJ’s other side and curled into him. JJ and Zeppelin were sharing the other end of the couch, the both of them fast asleep. 

He had his phone out most likely and you figured he’d already snapped a few pictures. 

“Precious babies,” he said. You peeled open an eye and saw him walking away. You smiled as you sat up, your dad walking back down to the kitchen.

You heard him sigh as he sat down on the couch and you paused on the stair, just out of view.

“I told you those five were conked out up there,” said your mom.

“They’re so cute,” he said. “I love them.”

“You okay?” she asked.

“I miss when they were little,” he said. “How excited they were to open presents. It’s nice to see Allie and Colin do it but it’s different now. They’re all getting so big.”

“We knew this would happen someday,” she said. “What’s up? I know it’s more than that. You got that worried about Y/N look.”

“She’s a mom. All day her focus was on the kids which I totally get but…” he said, voice cracking slightly. “Sorry.”

“Hey, baby. It’s okay. You’re tired. It’s okay to get emotional,” she said.

“She never got her childhood. It ended when she was ten years old. Every year she gets older and it’s harder,” he said.

“Jensen. Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked. “This isn’t like you.”

“I’m sorry. I just...we were talking at dinner and I realized, she never got her trip,” he said. “The kids trip, the one on one where they pick where to go and it’s just us, when they were little. I realized it took ten years to get a tattoo for her. I didn’t-”

“You have been waiting ten years to get that tattoo because you were trying to find the perfect thing. You’ve wanted to get one for her since she was adopted,” she said. “We have given her so much, Jay. She knows it. She doesn’t care when you got a tattoo. The fact you got one made her so happy. She doesn’t care about a trip. You know she already thinks we do too much for her.”

“Still,” he said. “She’s oldest. She got her school and house and wedding because of that. The other three will get the same exact thing. Her literal life plan, her’s and TJ’s, got thrown out because they walked down an alley.”

“What was our life plan? Two? You remember that?” she asked.

“You got the three you wanted,” he chuckled. “By luck.”

“Yes but a teenager wasn’t in the plan. Not until you, mister I was okay with one kid, out of the blue said you’d really like to add another,” she said. “Plans change. They change all the time. I mean, maybe they started having kids a little sooner than they were planning but can you blame them? Her daddy wanted to adopt. So did they.”

“I’ve never been her daddy, De. She had one of those,” said Jensen.

“I had two of those,” you said, swinging around the corner, leaning against the entrance to the room. Both their heads turned towards you and you shrugged. “I thought I told you I had two dads, just like I had two moms. Also, relax. Mom’s right. You give me more than I ever could have wanted.”

“Still eavesdropping I see,” he said, giving you a smile.

“I would have loved to have gotten to be a little kid around here but I didn’t. Don’t get upset over that dad. I still have a lot of growing up to do. I promise,” you said.

“I know. I was having a moment is all,” he said, closing his eyes. “Go on back to bed, tall munchkin.”

“Okay,” you said, giving him a smile. You stepped over to the couch and gave your mom a hug, giving him one too before you wandered over to his stocking and flicked your finger against it, a light thwacking sound coming from inside. “I wonder what that could be…”

“That was empty earlier,” he said as he stood up. You shrugged and leaned back against the doorframe, smirking as he pulled out the card and opened it. He smiled and dropped his head down. “You two are such little shits.”

“I learned it from you,” you said, giggling when he pulled you into a headlock.

“Your kid vacation,” he said.

“Mom and I thought you might like it. We wanted to surprise you,” you said.

“I am surprised,” he said, glancing over the card. “So we’re going hiking and camping I see. I thought you hated camping?”

“It’s alright,” you said. 

“You two going to be able to survive for a week out in the woods?” she asked.

“Mhm,” you said. “It’ll be fun.”

“You know, the other guys have done things like Disney or...actually they all picked Disney,” he chuckled.

“We can do something else if-”

“No. No. I uh, I think we can have fun. I’ll figure out some fun stuff for us to do. I promise.”

One Week Later

“Do you think it’s gonna rain all day?” you asked, not two hours into your camping trip when it’d started to pour down. Thankfully the two of you were able to put up the tent quickly and get inside without getting too wet.

“I hope not,” he said. You pursed your lips and fixed your sweatshirt around yourself, your dad tucking you into his side. “Cold?”

“A little,” you said.

“When there’s a break in the weather, how about we head back to the car? I got the feeling you don’t really want to go camping all that much,” he said. You risked a glance his way and he smiled. “Just because I like to go on occasion does not mean that we have to spend your trip doing it.”

“I wanted to do something we both would...like,” you said, tucking your knees into your chest.

“Can you be selfish for once in your life? Like, that’s literally the purpose of the kid’s vacation,” he said.

“I thought it was to spend time with you,” you said quietly. He put his arm around you and you put your head on his shoulder.

“Where do you really want to go? Anywhere in the world, you pick,” he said.

“Can we go to the vacation house?” you asked. “Pretend it’s camping?”

“Without a doubt. I got a great idea for once we get there too.”

“Alright,” he said, spread out on one side of the tent that was set up in the family room that night, the flap up and open so you could see the fireplace going. “Never have I ever...seen a boyband in concert.”

“That is cheating and you know it,” you said.

“I think someone is being a sore loser and needs to take a drink,” he said with a chuckle. You smirked and took a sip of your beer, fixing TJ’s henley you wore. “Hit me with it. None of these softball questions either. What happens on kid’s trip, stays on kid’s trip. Shoot.”

“Never have I ever abused my status as a celebrity to get what I want,” you said.

“Okay. Now we’re getting into it,” he said, taking a sip as he laughed. “Also, that’s a pretty broad brush to stroke.”

“Yeah but you totally have gotten special treatment before,” you said.

“I know. I know. Alright. Never have I ever made out in the back of a car,” he said.

“No way,” you scoffed. “You so have.”

“I have not.”

“Yes you have! Dad, come on,” you said. He shrugged and you stared at him, taking a sip. He smirked and took one of his own. “Oh, you gonna play that game?”

“Your mother is hot. Can you blame me?” he asked.

“Ew, dad. That’s mom. I know she’s pretty but like the time I caught you guys making out on the couch was bad enough,” you said.

“Be grateful you aren’t Zepp. Poor boy was scarred for life a few months ago,” he said, sipping on his beer.

“No. Like full on…”

“Mhm.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Thankfully it was just me and not mom. He was surprisingly grown up about it. That’s kinda when we had our little talk about birds and the bees,” he said.

“Poor traumatized soul,” you said, chuckling as you leaned back against your pillow. 

“He’ll survive,” he laughed. “But yeah, mom and I make out cause you know, it’s fun. It gets a little harder with kids but make sure to keep the romance alive. Go on dates, be silly and make out with each other. You don’t have to stop acting like teenagers in love just because you have kids around.”

“We don’t. TJ’s...he’s not as shy as you might peg him for in certain areas,” you said.

“Well you drank. Obviously you’ve made out with him in a car too.”

“TJ...and Brad.”

“Who the fuck is Brad?” he asked.

“My one and only other boyfriend. Remember?” you asked.

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. The nice one, right?”

“Mhm.”

“How old were you when you were making out in the back of cars?” he asked.

“Fifteen,” you said. 

“I’ll probably regret going any further down this line of questioning, won’t I.”

“I can guarantee it,” you said. He winced and you frowned. “Mom knows about me and boys, dad.”

“Did you love him?” he asked.

“I liked him but no, I don’t think I loved him. He was refreshing though. He never cared about the foster care stuff. Brad was a good guy. TJ, that was different.”

“He was head over heels in love with you from the start,” he said, resting his feet up on the pillow near your head. 

“When did you love him?” you asked as you sat up. He smiled and glanced down, taking a long drink.

“I had always enjoyed your friendship. I know friends are hard. TJ just seemed to slide right into your life though without a problem which De and I were always a little grateful for. When he started to come over, it was pretty obvious to everyone but you two that you’d at least wind up dating. As time went on, it got a little more obvious and a little more obvious and a little more obvious where things were going. I always liked Thomas. But the moment I knew I loved him was when we talked about him marrying you. That’s a conversation between he and I but it made me realize this boy loved you as much as I do. You deserve a lifetime of that kind of love and I know he’ll give it to you. After that night, yeah, I knew I loved him too,” he said.

“He’s always so understanding if I get quiet sometimes,” you said. “If I have bad days.”

“Partners make the bad days not so bad,” he said with a smile. 

“I started going back to therapy more often,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “Once a week now.”

“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting closer.

“I had some post partum with Colin,” you said, looking at the fire. “Nothing bad. Just stirs up a lot of old stuff. I’ve been talking a lot with Cody too and trying to give the it gets better speech but some days…”

“Some days what?” he asked. You glanced towards him, his shirt sleeve ridden up and showing your tattoo on his bicep.

“Some days I still feel like I ruin everyone’s lives,” you said. “I always cause problems. There’s always drama. I always need help. I feel like a child that doesn’t deserve any of it.”

“Honey, none of that is true. Family is meant to help you,” he said, taking your hand and resting it on his arm. “Can I tell you a secret?”

You nodded and he smiled, pressing your thumb over his tattoo.

“I’m surprised you still have secrets to tell me at this point,” you said.

“Well...I don’t know if it’s really a secret or what. Despite working on a show called Supernatural for years, you know I’m not much of one for ghosts or strange stuff or whatever,” he said.

“Uh, where are you going with this?” you asked. He smiled and shook his head.

“We met when you walked in the front door a little over ten years ago, right?” he asked. You nodded and he laughed. “That’s what I thought too up until recently. We’re both wrong about that.”

“What?”

“Do you recall going to Disneyworld when you were three years old?” he asked. You shook your head. “I would have been about your age actually.”

“Dad, what are you saying.”

“I went on vacation with my parents and siblings to Florida that year. We were waiting at our gate to go home. It was a pretty busy part of the airport. Big terminal, you know, a flight with a couple hundred people easy on it. My mom was filming us on her camera cause you know how moms are. My parents were recently looking through old videos looking for something for Josh and they watched this vacation one in the airport. Apparently I was coming back from the bathroom and you see me heading back and then all of a sudden there’s this little girl standing in the middle of the walkway. She’s crying quietly and she’s got this scrape on her knee. I see her and she sees me and then I go over and kneel down. I’d completely forgotten this ever happened. My mom comes over too and this girl is crying and tells us she’s lost and someone bumped into her and pushed her down and that she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. I tell her I’m Jensen and ask what her name is so we aren’t strangers anymore and-”

“I remember you,” you said, staring at him. “I don’t but I remember freckles and green eyes and Jay. I remember Jay. I couldn’t say Jensen.”

“No, you couldn’t. I picked you up and we found your parents not thirty seconds later and they were so relieved. Your dad tried to pay me but they just ended up thanking my mom and me a lot. Your parents said I was a good kid,” he said. “You told them I was your new friend and then we went our separate ways.”

“I remember you,” you smiled to yourself.

“I don’t believe in stuff like that, munchkin. I don’t. It’s pure coincidence if you ask me. It was less than sixty seconds of our lives,” he said. “But you’ve never once ruined my life. You made it better. You made it better that day. I did something good. I was able to help someone. You swung back around years later and started to help me too.”

“How have I ever helped you?” you asked. He tilted his head and smiled, letting it get bigger the longer you raised an eyebrow.

“I still have things to teach you it seems,” he said, moving your hand over his heart. “This. You have made me a better person. A kinder person. A more patient and loving and understanding person. You made my heart bigger.”

“Dad, that’s-”

“Yes, it’s horribly corny. But it’s true. How many nights have we sat up and gotten through nightmares together?”

“A lot,” you said quietly.

“How many times was I overprotective?”

“A lot.”

“How many times have we been through shit and we get through it?”

“A lot,” you breathed out.

“I love you. I love you more now than even back then. This has never been one way, Y/N. You gave all of us something too, something we could have never asked for. You made all of us better people. We never deserved you, not the other way around.”

You paused for a moment before you crawled into his lap and gave him a big hug, his arms wrapping you up tight.

“Maybe it wasn’t coincidence,” you said against his shoulder.

“Maybe not, kiddo,” he said, kissing your temple, the two of you quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell us about the post partum?”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you said, turning your head away. “I was embarrassed.”

“What would Jared say about that?”

“I know. I wanted to be normal,” you said.

“Normal people are overrated,” he said. You smiled and closed your eyes. “Been awhile since we had a proper cuddle.”

You took a deep breath and shuddered, his hand running up and down your back.

“I should probably save the letter for later, hm?”

“Oh my God, dad,” you said, giggling against him. “You gotta stop with these letters.”

“Really?”

“No,” you said.

“Whew. You only have a ton left. None tonight though,” he smirked. He turned you around and scooted the two of you out of the tent, grabbing a long pole and sticking a marshmallow on the end before handing it to you. “I can get behind this kind of camping trip.”

“Dad,” you said as he put on his own.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go fishing tomorrow?” you asked.

“Oh, I must be in your good graces,” he chuckled. “Of course, kiddo. I’ll even let you put on your own worm.”

“We’re home!” said your dad a few days later as you walked in the house. You turned around the corner, TJ sitting up on a couch with a face mask on, your mom on the other. “I see a staycation was had as well.”

“It was easier to let TJ and the babes stay over,” said your mom. “How’d it go?”

“We really roughed it,” said your dad.

“Yeah, it was-”

“I totally got an alert that the vacation house alarm was turned off so how long you two gonna keep up the charade?” she asked with a smirk.

“You’re no fun,” you said.

“Yes,” said your dad, giving you a high five. “Finally you see my ways.”

“Oh, shut it you two,” she said. “We made brownies earlier if you want some.”

“Are you guys watching Titanic?” you asked, taking a seat next to TJ before you wrapped him up in a cuddle.

“Yes, dear,” he said, tilting his head back as you kissed him. “Have fun?”

“Yeah. It was nice to get away and just relax with dad,” you said. “I told him about…”

“TJ spilled the beans on the whole baby blues situation, honey,” said your mom. “Seriously, talk to us next time. Don’t go through something like that alone.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m okay. So you guys hang out this week?”

“Yeah. We had a good time,” said TJ as he peeled off his mask.

“Extra pretty boy,” you smiled.

“Don’t make us vomit,” said your dad. You stuck out your tongue at him, your mom taking off her own and tossing it in the trash can in the middle of the room full of snacks. “You two been having a movie binge fest or what?”

“Mhm,” said TJ.

“You can tell him,” she said. You looked down at TJ and then to your dad as he slid in behind your mom. “TJ and the kids came over for dinner on Friday and I got a little scared when I realized all the kids were at sleepovers and I’d be home alone. So I made up an excuse to have them stay and he saw through that pretty quickly.”

“It’s really no problem. I know Y/N doesn’t like staying home alone either,” said TJ. You saw your dad smile, glancing down for a moment before he saw you staring. You swore he loved him a little more in that moment.

“Well TJ might suck at wrestling but he’ll take care of you guys if I’m ever not around. I know he will,” he said. They both shared a look and nodded and you wondered if they’d ever spoken about something like that.

“So how was it?” asked TJ quietly when your parents got up to change into some pajamas. “I had a lot of fun hanging out with your mom actually.”

“I’m glad. Dad and I...I really love him. Mom too,” you said, kissing the top of his head.

“There was a little bit of news with Cody actually,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What happened?”

“He had a scary call at work apparently. He wasn’t in good shape when he got home from it all. He called Jared and Gen and they went and got him and brought him to their place. They had a big breakthrough apparently. Cody says he’s starting to get what you meant about the trusting thing,” he said.

“It sucks but sometimes...whenever I fell apart and my parents were there to put me together, when you were there, that’s how I started to learn to trust them. Not having to put yourself together again is nice,” you said.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Well thanks guys,” said your dad, ruffling both your heads as he returned. “I love you guys too.”

“Jensen. Kinda having a moment with my girl, dude,” said TJ.

“I’m your father-in-law. I’m gonna tease the shit out of you, dude,” he chuckled, pinching TJ’s cheek.

“Oh my God,” groaned TJ.

“Thank you, Thomas,” he said, fixing TJ’s hair.

“For what?” he asked as your mom walked back in.

“You know what,” he said, plopping down on the couch, your mom curling up next to him. “Oh, hey. You guys want to watch an old home movie?”

“Dad,” you said with a smirk, getting one back.

“It’s not that long, you guys will love it, I’m sure. I was telling Y/N all about it on our trip. I ought to show her it,” he said.

“Whatever you want, honey,” said your mom. You dad smiled and after a moment, he got the video up on the TV. It was a little boring at first but it was funny to see your other family members so young, still a little surprising to see how well your dad had aged for nearly twenty something years later. 

“Here comes the best part,” he said.

“If we have to see anymore of your horrifically ugly face, Jensen, I don’t know if I can take it,” said TJ. You giggled, your dad chucking a pillow at him.

“Oh just wait and see, Hanover,” he said. TJ settled back into you before he and your mom both shot up like rockets in their seats, staring at the screen. 

“Is that…” said your mom. Your little three year old self was more upset than you thought you’d be but what surprised you most was how you relaxed for a moment when you looked up at Jensen. You remembered being a pretty shy kid and leery of strangers. But you walked right up to him after that and tugged on his hand, Jensen smiling as he knelt down. 

“You picked them,” said TJ as Jensen’s mom came over and started to talk to you. It was comical to you how you shied behind him a little, your head shaking at yourself. Before you knew it you were up on his hip and he was walking around with you before your parents popped up in the video.

“They look happy,” you said. You felt all three of their gazes on you.

“Y/N, I can turn it off if-”

“No,” you said, smiling as you watched yourself get handed over to your dad. You bit your bottom lip as they thanked him over and over again, Jensen getting shy on camera. 

“Bye, Jay,” you waved at them.

“Bye, munchkin,” he chuckled, your head instantly whipping up from your dad’s shoulder. 

“I not a munchkin!” you said.

“Honey, it’s a nickname,” said your mom. “Excuse her, she’s normally not so forward with strangers.”

“Oh, it’s fine. She’s having a rough day. You stick with your parents for me though, kiddo. Promise?” he said.

“Okay,” you said, putting your head back down. “Later, Jay.”

“Later, little munchkin,” he said, chuckling when you giggled and he started to walk back with his mom. “What?”

“You were very good with her,” said his mom.

“Eh, she’s a scared kid. I’m glad we found her parents quick,” he said.

“You’ll make a good dad someday, sweetheart,” she said.

“Oh my God, mom,” he groaned. 

TJ started to crack up and you laughed, giving him a hug for a moment before you buried your head in the back of his neck.

“You okay?” asked TJ. You heard the video end and nodded, glancing over at your dad. 

“Hell of a coincidence,” you said, giving him a smile.

“I don’t…” said your mom, staring back and forth between the two of you. “I…”

“Maybe TJ’s right and you picked us out a long time ago,” he said.

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t care if it’s coincidence or not. I wound up exactly where I was supposed to,” you said. 

“I think so too,” he said.

“I’m gonna go put on my pajamas and then we can watch a movie,” you said, getting up and heading for the guest room. You found Allie and Colin tucked away in there and you smiled, giving them each a kiss before you headed back down the hall. You paused when you saw your dad leaning against the wall halfway down, smiling softly as you wandered over. “You left out a few things from when you told me about that video.”

“What can I say? I got to keep you on your toes, tall munchkin,” he said. You rolled your eyes but giggled, glancing down for a minute. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about the fact you’d see your parents in that video.”

“Jensen,” you said as you lifted your head up. “I got to see three of my four parents together. Happy. That was incredible to see. You will never be my second father, Jensen. I’ve been your child as long as I’ve been theirs. I miss them. A lot. But don’t feel as though you are second to them. Please. They made me and they raised me until they couldn’t. Then you raised me and you had to teach me some of the things I forgot about family. You’ve always taken care of me. I’m not upset about seeing them in that video, dad. It was perfect.”

“I worry about you sometimes,” he said quietly.

“Really? Never would have guessed.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“JJ and the twins...we made them. It’s different. But you...sometimes I wonder if we’re good enough. I want you to have the world. I want you to have the family that you deserve and one you love. I-”

“Dad. That is the dumbest thing you have ever said to me. I love this family. I love it to death. You gave me the world. No more of this stuff. We all deserve and love each other, okay?” you asked. “Please?”

“Okay, kiddo,” he said. “I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good,” you said, giving him a hug.

“You don’t go wandering off at airports anymore, hm?” he teased.

“Dork,” you said. You peeled back and grabbed his hand. “Movie with the other dorks?”

“Sure,” he said, pulling you along with him. “Come on, little munchkin.”

“It’s tall munchkin to you,” you said. You smirked and headed down the hall, surprised to see the twins and JJ in the living room, all of them rewatching the video with big eyes. 

“Well if we got the whole crew, let’s head up to the TV room where there’s more room,” said your dad. You watched them pile up, JJ hanging back a second while your dad went to make some popcorn in the kitchen.

“Y/N,” she said. You tilted your head, watching her fist her hands together and a shudder leave her. 

“JJ,” you said, giving her a hug. “What’s wrong?”

You saw your dad’s head whip up in the kitchen but you waved him off for the moment.

“I’m so sorry I said we didn’t want you,” she said, wiping off her face. “Before that first Christmas. You’re supposed to be here and I was a brat and-”

“JJ,” you said, giving her a squeezing hug she melted into. “I don’t care about technically anymore. You’re my little sister and I love you. I have always loved you. I was so scared when I was your age. You were five. I’ve never been mad at you for that night. I promise.”

“I remember that night,” said your dad as he walked over. “Your sister almost ran away on us. But she stayed. You know why?”

“No,” she said, your dad brushing thumb over her cheek and cleaning off her face. “Dad.”

“Dad’s cool with you crying in front of him. Trust me,” you said. “I stayed because I wanted to. I knew you were upset was all because you didn’t think I loved you. But I do. I loved you and the other guys long before mom and dad. You guys were easy.”

“Come here you two,” he said, pulling you both into a hug. “No need to dig up that stuff. JJ, Y/N loves you. Believe me.”

“I know,” she said. “I just…”

“Just what, sweetie?” he asked.

“I can’t imagine being by myself right now. I’m as old as Y/N was when she came here. I know I’m not a little kid anymore but I can’t imagine having no one,” she said, turning to you. “How did you do it?”

“I was very unhappy most of the time. Until mom and dad and you guys taught me how to be happy again,” you said. “I’m okay now.”

“JJ. If anything were to happen to me and mom, you’ll never end up in a situation like your sister was. You three will go with her and TJ. They’ll take care of you,” he said.

“Don’t talk like that dad,” she said. “You’re not old.”

“He kinda is,” you smiled.

“Mhm,” he said, putting you both in headlocks.

“Mom!” you both said, your dad chuckling.

“Fend for yourselves!” you heard shouted back.

“Dad’s super ticklish,” you said, getting under his arm before he squirmed.

“Am not!” he said, JJ moving out of the way before she grabbed his arm and turned it over.

“I thought the other one was for Y/N?” she said. You cocked your head and glanced at your dad. 

“Other one? You have another tattoo for me?” you asked.

“It was temporary while I was figuring out which one to do,” he said.

“I’ve used those before. They only last like a week,” you said, your dad blinking slowly at you. 

“You have a tattoo young lady?” he asked. “Where?”

“I’m thinking about it,” you said. “Such a worrier. Come on JJ. Maybe when you’re eighteen we can go get one together.”

“I hate you both,” he said, shaking his head as the popcorn went off.

“We love you too, dad,” you laughed, going over to the stairs with her. She went up first and you glanced back, watching him pour the bag into a few bowls. “Dad.”

“Mhm?”

“Would you really be pissed if I got a tattoo?”

“No. I can’t let the sixteen year old think that though,” he said. “You really want to get one, let me know. Mom and I know a good place to go.”

“I will,” you said, taking a bowl from him.

“Can we watch a movie with dad in it?” asked Zeppelin as you walked up and took a seat.

“Fine, fine. You twins are old enough to see the scary stuff I suppose,” he said.

“What’s the one you and mom were both in?” he asked as you choked on a piece of popcorn, TJ slapping your back.

“No, Zepp, not that one. Maybe My Bloody Valentine if you think they can handle that?” you said. TJ was quick to put it on, your parents chuckling from the far end of the couch.

“Is it scary?” asked Arrow as she wrapped her blanket around herself.

“It’s only a little scary,” said TJ. She climbed into his side between him and Zeppelin.

“Alright, but if it’s too scary I’m gonna leave,” she said.

“You’ll be fine, Ro. It’s all make believe,” said TJ. You excused yourself to the bathroom a little while later, stopping in the family room for a moment when your dad was refilling the bowls.

“You okay?” he asked.

“We should invite the Pads over,” you said. “Family sleepover.”

“Call Jared and the gang,” he said. “They’re always welcome. We can watch Friday the 13th after, make it a night.”

You picked up the house phone and called the Pads house, the phone ringing a few times.

“Padalecki’s,” said Cody.

“Hey Cody, it’s Y/N. How’re you doing?” 

“Hey. I’m good. I’ve been staying over Jared and Gen’s house this week, trying to make a point of it to see them everyday. It’s...helping. I might bunk here for a while,” he said.

“I heard you had a rough night,” you said.

“Yeah. I called Jared after a while and he and Gen came and got me. It wasn’t pretty,” he said.

“Next rough night, don’t hesitate to talk to them. They’ll be there,” you said.

“I know. What’s up?” he asked. “Need Jared?”

“No, I was...we’re having a bit of an impromptu family sleepover in the family room. Movies, popcorn, that sort of thing. We wanted to invite you guys over,” you said. Cody was quiet on the other end. “Cody, still there?”

“Yeah. I’m here,” he said. “I’ve never been to a sleepover actually. I was always the loner kid at school. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I do. Well get your ass and all those guys over here. We’ll have some fun,” you said.

“We’ll be over soon, Y/N,” he said.

“Cody? You ever want to hang out with just me and TJ, that’s cool too. Just shoot us a text,” you said.

“I’ll take you up on that sometime,” he said softly.

“How’s it feeling lately? That belonging feeling,” you said.

“A little better everyday. I’ve never had parents. I’m still getting used to it,” he said.

“You will. We’ll see you guys soon,” you said. You hung up and put the phone back, your dad grabbing some drinks to bring up. “They’ll be over in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he said as you took a few bottles of water in your arms. “I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you asked.

“No particular reason,” he said. “Just am.”

“Well I’m proud of you too,” you said, starting to walk away. “I like the charity.”

“You do, huh.”

“Yeah. It gives people a chance. Everyone deserves one of those,” you said.

“You know those test cases I was telling you about? There’s been an adoption so far with everyone of them. I have a feeling Cody’s going to end up being okay too,” he said.

“He needed some love was all,” you said.

“Yeah, he did,” he said. “A friend who’s been through it all doesn’t hurt either.”

“I told him it’s the hardest thing he’ll ever do,” you said.

“Did it ever get easier?” he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, it did.”

“When?” he asked.

“Everyday. At some point it went from I don’t know if I can trust you to I know he’d die protecting me. I don’t know when it happened but at some point, I knew it was okay. The letters never hurt either,” you said.

“Jared wrote Cody a letter,” he said. You smiled, your dad nodding. “When he’s ready for it. Don’t spoil the surprise though.”

“I won’t. He’ll love it,” you said.

“You know they wanted to adopt because of you,” he said. “You did that. Cody someday. Five other people that were test cases. You helped all those people find families.”

“I didn’t do that, you did,” you said.

“I just put some money into it. You showed me where there was a flaw, a flaw you were so scared of happening to you. I don’t want people to be scared. Kids shouldn’t be scared. It won’t always work out but it gives them a chance,” he said. “You did that.”

“Hey. Hallmark channel,” said Arrow, both your heads whipping over to the stairs. “You two coming back or what?”

“The sass on that child,” you said.

“I’m so proud of my baby girl,” he said, putting a hand on his heart. 

“Maybe if you helped bring up some snacks, the faster we’d get back,” you said.

“Fine,” she groaned, taking some bottles up in her arms. Your dad headed up ahead of you and you followed after, the movie back on after a few minutes. You saw the headlights from the Padaleckis car swing through the windows and you smiled, resting your head on TJ’s shoulder.

“I love you,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“I love you too, babe. Always.”

__________

A/N: Check out the Father’s Day timestamp here!

#spn #supernatural #spngenrebingo #jensen x daughter!reader #rpf #au #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #reader insert #spn fanfiction #jensen x

[miss-choco-chips]

Soul Shards part 4

I have nothing to say for myself. Don’t kill me? I tried to edit this, but it’s longer than what I’m used to, so I probably fucked up somewhere along the way.

This... will probably need another part. Or should I leave it like this? I dunno.

Enjoy!

~~~.~~~.~~~

Timothy’s eyes shone hatefully. It was the most beautiful shade of icy blue he had ever seen. Even if the emotion was such a dark one, they weren’t empty anymore.

-It’ll be over soon -he shushed, slowly sinking to his knees and bringing the man into his lap, almost engulfing him between arms and firm chest, as if to protect him from the pain that was coming from deep inside; distantly, he heard Kon and Jon’s voices as they approached, their concern obvious but unimportant at the moment-, you just have… a lot of emotional catching up to do.

~~~.~~~.~~~

16   -   21

The young man raised his eyes from the documents he was revising, merely glancing over Damian’s case files.

-Zsasz -was all he said, before going back to his own thing. 

Damian a year ago might have gotten mad, thinking Timothy was sprouting spur of the moment lies to get him to stop nagging him. He knew better now, that the man didn’t need more than a second of looking at his carefully collected evidence to make a verdict.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t curious, though.

-How? -was all he asked, giving the file a closer look, trying and failing to see what the other could- He was at Arkham at the time of the crimes, there’s witnesses and video evidence. 

Timothy didn’t seem to be paying attention to him any longer, answering by rote but not taking his empty eyes from his own work.

-Not Zsasz himself, but not a copycat either. This is the work of a lover, or someone romantically interested in the bastard. Could be a courting gift, a mean to attract his attention, or both. Look deeply into any woman…

-Or man, or both, or neither -he felt compelled to add. Timothy shrugged, but his soul gave an approving humm.

-... or man, or both, or neither -the detective conceded, dropping his papers in favor of his coffee cup and tablet-, visiting him this last few months, or that could have benefited from any of Zsasz murders; maybe he unknowingly saved someone by killing their abuser or something like that, and they fell for him. Think Misa Amane from Death Note.

As he did any time Drake dropped a reference, Damian made a mental note to check this out. At least, “Death note” sounded more his style than the time he had to watch both Mean Girls movies.

-How do you know it’s a love interest and not, say, an apprentice?

Without dropping his cup, and balancing the tablet against his legs where he was sitting on the couch, Timothy raised his other hand and pushed one of Damian’s papers across the coffee table towards him. One of the autopsy’s photos.

-The cuts. Zsasz usually makes them all across the body, picking certain places that would make his victims bleed to death as slowly and painfully as he feels like. These, instead, are focused on the chest area, almost circling the person’s heart. In this one, a victim that was murdered specifically on Valentine's day, the cuts are even closer to it, almost framing the heart. 

-...I can see it -he muttered, eyes widening. After two weeks of useless tumbling around this case, it was only when he caved and went to Timothy for help that he finally had some possible lead on it. And, as every time he did this before, a few minutes was all he needed to figure it out and to point him in the right direction.

-I’d hurry, if I were you. The least thing Gotham needs is a new villian power couple, a “Harley and Joker” take two. It was just too good when she left him for Ivy, so don’t allow anyone else to take their places as the criminal lovers of the city.

Damian nodded and went back to his files on Zsasz, energies and will renewed. Timothy ignored him once again in favor of his own things, and silence enveloped them. He didn’t mind; the icy blue soul’s warm encouragement was all he needed.

----.----

-It has grown -commented the older of the two, watching from the corner of his eye the souls on Damian’s lap. They had to fight some sea monsters at the beach, and sand had gotten into his pouch, so he stopped at the earliest chance to clean it up.

It was the first time Timothy saw his soul in years. Damian had being careful to not take it out around him, scared it might spook the man into leaving.

If anything, he seemed curious.

-It has? -he asked, dropping his own back on its hiding place and rising the other to eye level- It still fits in my palm the same way it always did.

Timothy rolled his eyes.

-Yeah, and your hand is the exact size it was when you were twelve? Brat, you are already taller than me -wipe that smile off your face, we both knew this day would come. You grew, and if it still fits the same, it’s only logical that it did as well. You probably didn’t notice because you see it all the time, and since your soul has also grown, there’s no sure way for you to compare them and realize it.

Amazed, and more than a little happy, Damian examined it closer. He was right, of course; now that it was brought to his attention, he couldn’t unsee it.

-A soul grows and thrives on multiple things -kept going the other, shaking his head to get as much sand as possible off his hair-, both positive or negative.

Damian knew this, has seen the sheer size of the Joker’s rotten soul, doubled after his latest killing spree: it fed on the pain of his victims. It was a disgusting sight, but one that proved just how different the psychopaths they fought saw life, and how unlikely it was they’d ever stop.

-And in this case? -he asked, refraining himself from saying ‘your’ instead of ‘this’.

A shrug- If I had to guess, love, like most people’s. It was what always healed me, time and time again, growing up; love for my friends, parents, family, people I liked… It started to shrunk when half the people I cared for died, and the other half didn’t seem to want my feelings nor return them. Poor, past-me’s soul was starved to death. You seem to have it well fed, tough. 

It was said tonelessly, but Damian felt two sizes taller all the same. The soul at hand seemed to shine in front of his eyes (although it was probably just the sun’s reflection), and a quick succession of images flashed across his eyes.

Kon El, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark and a few other heroes he recognized from Drake’s old Young Justice photos, going out of their way to seek him out and keep him company in his self imposed soulless exile.

Grayson, Father and Todd sitting quietly at the Cave’s Red Robin memorial (with cracked glass; The Red Hood hadn’t reacted well the first time he saw it), sharing stories of the man as they knew him: brother, son, childhood friend.

Cain and Brown, sitting back to back, holding the other’s soul shard; Brown delightedly absorbing the love Timothy had put in Cain’s icy blue compass, and the other carefully caressing the almost black locket, cocooning it in her hands, as if trying to breath emotions back into the almost empty thing.

Himself, tirelessly looking for information on the man years ago, following him around more recently. Taking hits for him during the times they worked together, doing his best to keep Grandfather away, sneakily replacing his coffee for decaf.

(taking care of his body)

Holding the precious icy blue orb in his palms, cradling it against his chest when sleeping or fondling with it between his fingers when troubled or distracted. Constant, tender touch. Never damaging it. Never leaving it alone. Never ignoring the feelings it sent his way.

(taking care of his soul)

Timothy looks indifferent, typing away at his new phone (he changed them almost every day, no doubt to keep Oracle or Father from finding him), but his soul reacts beautifully to Damian’s thoughts.

Fed by love, indeed.

-----.----

17  -  22

After he saved some children and comforted them during patrol, when he had (briefly) the upper hand against Cain in a spar, when he successfully talked Todd down from blowing up a building, when he stood firm against father in order to protect Jon, Colin and the rest of his friends from a scolding, when he tried (and failed) to help Alfred bake Grayson a cake for his birthday… each time, he would feel a tug from the not-so-little-anymore orb, and when he took it out of his pouch to inspect it, he’d always see a new, beautiful green and gold spot slowly dying the area surrounding the core. 

Little specks of his colours, appearing here and there at times that seemed random to him, but evidently were appreciated by Drake’s soul. 

It scared him so badly he could barely sleep without nightmares. Because, even if it meant tentatively good things (he was leaving a mark on Timothy where not even Todd had reached, was securing himself a way into his heart), it also meant a change. 

What if, after all his efforts, this made impossible for Drake's soul to fit into his body after all?

After the soulless man had pointed it out for him, he begun to notice things. Not only the suddenly appearing, breathtaking looking spots on the icy blue sea of his soul, but how it seemed to shine more with each passing moment, how the feelings it gave off were more intense (it had come as a surprise; he would never had guessed they were muted before, until he was almost blown away by the soul’s rage after an encounter with Deathstroke left Nightwing at death’s doors), how the small little bumps and dents in it were filled out as the soul grew, healthier and prettier. 

It had grown so full of feelings, so strong, he feared. What if, even if he got Timothy to take it back, his body couldn't accept it due to its changes? Or what if the accumulated feelings were too much for him to take, to process? He certainly had some emotional baggage to catch up to, and he had little to no information on soulless people accepting their core back to properly  predict what outcome they might face.

He was scared by the changes. He was excited about his colours slowly taking space into Timothy’s soul. He couldn’t rest properly anymore.

The soul was a faithful companion on his long, sleepless nights. It spoke to him, in a language of feelings and abstract-like images he had come to learn with the years. It returned his love and care tenfold, in a way he knew only Drake, with his seemingly unending flow of emotions, could do.

A part of him (Wayne, hero, martyr) didn’t believe himself deserving of it. None on his family, with maybe Cain and Pennyworth as the exceptions, were worth the unconditional trust and loyalty Timothy bestowed upon them.

The part that was purely Al Ghul (proud, selfish, greedy) asked for moremoremore, and only himhimhim.

That didn’t help his insomnia.

Neither did Timothy’s warm comfort.

The feelings, on both ends, only grew.

-------.-------

When he finally gathered courage and went to the source, Timothy himself, to show him the changes on the orb, the man only hummed, undeterred in his task of cleaning the kitchennet of this small place he was using for the week. They were somewhere in Singapore, and Damian could see the sea from the living room window.

-It’s such a shame, really -he spoke, as his hands worked steadily and with the ease of familiarity on making both coffee and Damian’s favorite tea. Never let it be said he didn’t know how to host. Another muscle memory skill, no doubt.

-What is it?

-You fell victim to Robin’s Third Law. I thought you might have been excepted from it, but obviously not. So sad. If I had an Alexa, I’d have her play sad violin tunes.

Ignoring the last bit, he took his eyes from where he was comparing the blue and green souls (his and Drake’s), and glanced in his direction.

-Third Law?

He never heard of it before. He would remember if Father or Grayson told him about it.

-Hmm -he nodded, brining a tray with the beverages and cookies to the low table, taking his seat in front of Damian, back to the window (whether this was trust in him to watch out for him in case they were attacked, or he simply didn’t care, he didn’t know)-. It’s a theory I developed while Stephanie was Robin, and you only confirmed it for me. First Law: Each Robin shall have his or her Batgirl. Dick and Jason had Barbara, me and Steph (though very briefly on her case) had Cass, and you currently have Steph. Second Law: Each Robin will have either a Super, a Speedster, or both, as his or her friend and teammate. Dick had Wally, Jason Bizzarro, I had both Kon and Bart, Steph teamed up with Kara for a while there, and you have Jon.

Blinking rapidly, he nodded. It- it was too much of a coincidence. Timothy’s claims, as always, had their merit, no matter how far fetched it seemed to have three unescapable facts following the wearer of the Robin mantle.

-And the Third Law?

-Each Robin will fall in love with their predecessor, without a happy ending.

That stopped him cold, tea cup halfway to his mouth.

He knew?

It must have shown on his face, because the man rolled his eyes.

-Just because I don’t have feelings of my own any longer doesn’t mean I can’t recognize them on someone else. I told you, the soul that belonged to me -he nods in the direction of Damian’s lap, where he had placed the soul while they eat- thrived in love. It’s almost the size it was back then, when I was young, idealistic and stupid.

A sip of coffee. Timothy’s soul reached out tentatively, it’s metaphorical touch brushing Damian’s own, a wave of lamenting and corresponding. He didn’t want to focus on what it meant.

-Dick loved the boy he was, the little Robin his parents raised, that flew on the trapeze without a care on the world. That kid died the night his parents fell. Jason most likely had a crush on Dick back when he was Robin, though the way he was treated by him back then killed that tentative love. I know, because I studied him for years, until I learned everything there was to learn about my predecessor and friend.

Damian listened, but half his mind was on the unrelenting wave of feelings Timothy’s soul was sending his. There was a message there, but he was way too overwhelmed to understand it.

-Myself, well, since you have that thing -he pointed to Damian’s lap, then shrugged-, you must know about my hopeless, tortuous love for the bastard. You know, even though past me trained himself with a flight or fight response to him, it still took me some battle time to go for the fight one? My body couldn’t seem to settle into the idea of hurting him -he sighed, shaking his head- Stupid little brat.

-Th-then… What about… Brown did have you. Her... her love didn’t have a tragedy following.

TImothy merely raised an eyebrow.

-Even before she faked her death, I was kind of an asshole with her, always demanding she hang up the cape. Then, when she came back, I was so pissed and betrayed, I couldn’t even look in her direction as much as I couldn’t take my eyes away; from what I remember, it was hell. I’m pretty sure a part of her will always love past me, just like him would always love her a bit, but they’re never getting back to what they were. There’s just too much polluted water under the bridge.

-Her shard is almost completely black and empty -he muttered, eyes dragged against his will to the Icy blue (and green and gold, now) soul.

Timothy laded his head- Doesn’t surprise me. Kon, Bart and Cassie all have theirs in almost perfect shape, though some spots here and there are losing their colours. They were absolutely freaked out when it started to happen, came straight to me to yell about friendship, bonds and  shit like that. I’m guessing both Cass and Alfred’s pieces are the same -at Damian’s reluctant nod, he smirked- about time, too. 

Damian didn’t comment on it, because he was well aware of how much Drake wished for all his soul shards to go completely null. When that happened, his soul would have definitely died, no take backs. 

There was also the matter of the soul core, in Damian’s possession, that kept on thriving and growing, but Drake didn’t seem too worried about it, which scared Damian in turn. 

-And, lastly, young current Robin. In love -he smirked-, ah, no, corresponded love, judging by the green spots, with his predecessor. Tough luck. The soul might have feelings for you, but the body certainly doesn’t (muscle memory from back then is a bitch, isn’t it?), and those by themselves are not enough, are they? Such a tragedy.

He smirked while talking, empty eyes not really caring about Damian’s crushed heart. 

He hated him, a little, just then. Not nearly as much as he loved him, sadly.

-------.-------

Watching him through the monitors of the cave was such a normal thing for him to do, it no longer called to the attention of his family members. They just accepted it as one more of Damian’s oddities and moved on. 

Sometimes, Grayson or Todd would stop by. They would comment on some sparring mistake he made, or marvel at the mission report when Drake’s explanation on the thought process that drove him to solve it was beyond amazing, longing and pain lacing their words. 

Cain and Brown rarely accompanied him, but when they did, it was their choice on what to watch, and more often than not it was some funny, endearing thing, like Drake’s comm quips, or mask recordings on the cheesy puns he threw to his enemies.

Father never stayed, once Damian took a seat by the Batcomputer. It was beyond frustrating, his decision to pretend his son was dead, from the memorial to avoiding all talk of him unless forced. Timothy was out there, and Damian held in his pouch the answer to his predicament, but no, Father would sooner think him dead than deal with the emotional rollercoaster Damian was currently riding.

Timothy defied death itself when everyone else thought Father dead. He went toe to toe with  a devil like his Grandfather, and came out on top, for him. It angered him, not seeing such devotion returned. Todd’s death and later criminal career had undoubtedly messed with his emotional bonds with all his children, but this was just ridiculous. They fought over it, often. They fought a lot, these days; his older siblings said it was a rite of passage, to reach that moment when Robin was just done with Batman’s shit.

-Master Damian, you never showed up for supper. I took the liberty of bringing some leftovers for you to snack on here.

Lost as he was, both in thought and in footage of Timothy reaching a compromise with Poison Ivy, he had to repress a startled jump; it would be unbecoming of him, with all his training. Though, Pennyworth probably knew anyway. He always did.

-Thank you -he nodded, accepting the plate stacked with sandwiches. The old butler left a cool glass of water by the computer’s keyboard, and his eyes went up to the image of Timothy returning home after another successful mission. His tired eyes seemed to soften.

-How is Master Timothy fearing, young sir?

As sure as he was that everyone suspected him, only Alfred directly addressed the fact that Damian went to his old charge, time and time again. Even so, when he asked for “Master Timothy”, he always referred to the same.

Wordlessly, one hand holding a sandwich, he retrieved the soul next to his from the pouch. The spots weren’t bigger than last time, but more numerous.

One finger softly caressed the orb. He wouldn’t feel it, but Damian could, and it always warmed him the way Timothy’s soul reacted to the old butler’s touch.

-To think I let a young man under my care to go starved... -muttered the man. He hadn’t taken well when Damian confied on him the reason why the blue orb used to be so little.

-It was a shared mistake, Pennyworth. If anything -he nodded towards the man’s bowtie, where the small icy blue shard still shone- it’s evident how you -and Cain- were far from the worst perpetrators. The fault lies on the rest of us.

The man sighed- It’s such a shame, truly. Master Timothy was such a bright, full of life young man… his heart might have been naive, but it rarely steered him wrong.

While he spoke, the man went around Damian, reaching for the keyboard. A few clicks later, and a video file he never saw before was brought forth. Timothy’s young face appeared on the screen, and Damian paused, softly putting his glass back down.

On screen, his predecessor, down to his old Robin pants and no shirt, was finishing a training routine on the mats.This one, he didn’t recognize.

-I searched every bit of information on Drake, how…? 

As he asked, another figure appeared on screen, this time… an odd version of Nightwing. He started needling Timothy (the file lacked audio), seemingly asking for something the other kid wasn’t willing to provide. He kept shaking his head.

-I have every bit of photographic evidence of Master Richard’s… most questionable clothing choices password protected, least he finds a way to get rid of all of it. It’s for posterity’s sake, you understand? And to maybe help refrain him from trying his hand at “improvising a new suit” ever again.

Looking at his mentor’s mullet hair and deep v-neck, he can’t exactly bedrugde Alfred his counter measures. He’s feeling shame just by looking at a video, can’t even imagine what living through that must have been for the poor butler.

-Grayson’s fashion sense is sadly lacking, isn’t it?

-I wouldn’t call that fashion, Master Damian, nor sense. One could forgive and forget the first Robin suit, a circus child in need of colour and reminders of home. But this? -a stiff nod to the screen- This makes me worry for any children he might have. 

-I’ve been keeping him away from orphanages -he assures the old man, because at this point, it was a two on two battle, him and Pennyworth against Father and Grayson and their inability to keep their greedy paternal paws off of possible new family members.

-Good lad.

In silence, they watch as Nightwing goes off screen, returning later in civies. One would think anything would have been less of an eye sore, but the bright green pants, red sneakers and yellow shirt aren’t so much better than glitter and feathers in a skintight suit.

Shockingly, though, Timothy-on-screen seems to disagree. Graysons’ renewed efforts at convincing him of whatever he wanted bore fruits, and soon enough, both vigilantes left the scene. Automatically, the video started to reproduce again, on a loop.

Alfred hummed, taking back the empty tray- I would highly recommend you went upstairs to try and sleep, young Master. Your eyebags are two thirds the size Master Tim’s used to be, and that’s worrying on its own.

He wanted to protest, but the look on the old man’s face made him reconsider. There was very little any of them could do to repay Alfred for everything he did for the family. Easing his concern was just a start.

Silently, he closed the files he was revising and walked side by side with the butler. 

-I wonder what was what Grayson said, to make Timothy concede -he commented, while they slowly hailed back to the Manor.

-Nothing of great importance -was his answer-. Master Timothy’s will is a force to reckon, but he always found Robin to be his Achilles’ heel. The moment Master Dick changed into civies the colour of his first suit, poor lad had lost the battle.

The words kept spinning in his head, even after he went to bed.

It wasn’t a plan, not even the beginnings of one, and it lacked all the finesse and detail attention one of Timothy’s would have, but it was more than he had yesterday. 

A start.

------.------

He went to Kent with his idea. Conner. Kon El.

(Not Superboy. Not his Superboy, at least; just like he wasn’t his Robin)

He choose him, because he could fly them somewhere away from his Grandfather's ears. Because he was better at lying than the Impulse, and less noble and forthcoming than Wonder Girl. He trusted him more than he did Timothy’s other Young Justice old teammates.

But, more importantly, he knew Kent would be ready and willing to do whatever it took to get Drake back.

-You know it’s gonna hurt him -the clone pointed out, face serious and stony. He was already preparing himself mentally for the backslash of what they were going to do. His hand had raised up to the Icy blue earring. Out of everyone else, Cain and Pennyworth included, his soul shard was the brightest; his love and loyalty to Timothy never once wavered.

The soul in his pouch gave a warm wave of fondness. He suspects that, during Drake’s darkest hours, his best friend’s love was what kept the little orb fed. Even now, he felt it strengthen under Kent’s undying devotion.

-I know.

There was no question it would. If they succeeded, the onslaught of feelings would be far too much for anyone to handle. Timothy, awesome as he was in every other field, would not be the exception.

-He’s probably gonna hate me.

-No -he shakes his head, echoing on Timothy’s soul sentiments- He never could. You and the others… he’s weak to you. That’s why I’m asking for your help. I need you there first, to soften him up to the idea. Make him more… receptive.

A pause. Then:

-It’s me he’s going to hate.

-At first, for sure- the easy admission, from the mouth of someone as well (or better) versed in the mysteries and wonders of one Timothy Drake, hurt; then, the man continued- but I can promise you, it won’t stay in the way of your little love story for long. He will cave soon enough.

Startled, he looked into the meta’s eyes; mischief, but a shade of seriousness. He wasn’t lying.

-There is no love story. Only redemption for me, and a chance at happiness for him.

-Yeah, yeah, I know, you bats are all for ‘what’s right’ and ‘emotions and personal life are for the weak’. I’m just calling it like I see it, dude, and anyone can see how you look when you talk about him. And, honestly? It’s a little creepy, Edward Cullen style, the way you spent your entire teenagedhood pining after someone without actually interacting with him for almost half of it.

Multiple reactions raced through his mind. Embarrassment, denial, rage…

...resignation.

-I’m not worthy of his affections, not after everything. And even if I was, who’s to say the feelings his soul has now will be the same once it’s back with its rightful owner?

Kon El just sighed, something that sounded like ‘emotionally stunted bats’, and carefully placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder. It was striking, realizing they were not so far in height now. He would never bulk up the way Superman’s clone had, but his body was closer to it than Timothy’s, or Grayson’s.

-I’ll let you in a secret. There’s one easy shortcut, straight to Tim’s heart. Though, maybe ‘straight’ isn’t the right word in this case.

-Shut up.

A smile- Trust me on this one. You’re already using that way, even if you don’t realize it -he clasped his hand tighter, and then released him- Well, gotta go. Showtime is in two days, right? Have to be ready. 

He was already taking off, when Damian’s brain to mouth filter seemed to break and he blurted out.

-What is this shortcut?

Still flying, the meta spin in place to face him, moving backwards. His smile was one part wistful, two parts sad.

-The fastest way for Tim to love you? Love him back. He’s a sucker for people giving him the barest scraps of affection, it would be impossible for him to resist someone wholeheartedly loving him.

-----.-----

18  -  23

All fell into place on Damian’s birthday.

The morning, he couldn’t escape his family. Grayson cried, of course, and  Father had his constipated-emotionally confused face on. Todd and Brown promised to take him to a bar, careful to make that claim where Pennyworth couldn’t hear them. Him and Cain were in charge of the cake (Cassandra’s latest focus of attention had been bakery, and she wanted to participate), and Damian spent half the day surrounded by their love and support. 

As promised, Jon came by mid afternoon to take him to ‘celebrate together’. He asked his family to wait for him awake, even if he came past the time patrol usually started. An odd request, but since he had asked for so little for his birthday, they couldn’t help but agree, Barbara going so far as to have The Birds of Prey ready to cover for them.

It was a long flight to Uruguay, but it was needed. He had taken note on how Drake was, more often than not, found on some seaside location. According to Grayson (and the multiple mission reports he had read on the subject), the tiniest Robin always seemed to like  and take comfort on the beach. It had become a small compulsion, probably one he wasn’t even aware of, to stray to places surrounded by water.

The only stop they made, was for Damian to change civies for his suit. The Robin suit.

They found him sitting on the sand overlooking the calm afternoon waters, at La Pedrera Beach. Just where Damian asked him to met, where Kon had undoubtedly brought him a few minutes before. 

No one was around, thankfully. The less witnesses, the better.

Jon touched ground softly, smiling at Damian and taking off again, to wait with the older Superboy as planned. His friend’s eyes betrayed no nervousness, but he didn’t need to; Damian was nervous enough for both of them.

Steeling himself, he walked towards the smaller man and stood by his side. Silently, they both watched as the sun slowly sunk into the horizon. In ten more minutes, it’d be completely hidden. Damian wanted for everything to be done before then, as if the beauty of the sunset would counter the pain of what was to follow.

-Okay, Baby Bat, lay it on me. Why ask me to come here, all the way from Italy? I was having a blast, you know, catching those mafias one by one.

Even as he spoke, he didn’t look particularly bothered. Soulless as he was, he had no qualms on showing his displeasure. Right now, though, he looked as satisfied as he ever did since losing his soul. The morning catching criminals, noon with his best friend and afternoon at the beach seemed to have worked like a charm. He was at ease, no longer waiting for Damian to attack him, and when he looked up at him and saw him wearing his colors (for once his more muted pants having a green tint to it, resembling more his predecessor's old costume), surprise gave quick way to trust.

Alfred was right, as always. Robin seemed to be the key past Timothy’s defenses.

-It’s my birthday today -he informed the man, doing his best to not be so stiff- And I want my gift.

A sharp laugh, devoid of feeling but humorous all the same, and Timothy stood, face to face with him, tilting his head to look him into the eye.

-My, my, what a spoiled prince. But whatever, I’m here already, and I already indulged you these last two years, letting you stay around and helping you with cases. What’s one more? I won’t take the soul back, though.

Damian shook his head.

-I don’t intend to return something of yours. I want to give something mine, for you to carry with yourself.

The smirk on his face turned utterly devious, and Timothy’s pale hands found perch on his shoulders.

-Such a daring man you have turned into -slowly, he leaned closer, standing on his tiptoes to reach Damian’s ear- What do you want to give me, baby bat? -his warm breath caressed his face, and he had to shut his eyes tightly when he felt Timothy’s face getting even closer- Maybe a kiss? It’ll be free of charge, even, just because I’m in such a good mood. I’ll still let you have the gift you had in mind, too.

Startled, he held the other man’s hips. The want that pushed viciously against his restrain left him dizzy, but his heart twisted and the pain brought him back to his senses, just before his lips -that he hadn’t even be aware he was parting- touched the other’s. 

Carefully, because he didn’t mean any harm and because of how hard it was, he pushed the man away.

-No.

-No? Despite how desperately you clearly want it?

He clenched his fists, before slowly opening his hands and dragging them away from Timothy’s body. He opened his eyes again, looking down at the beautiful face, at those empty eyes. That sealed his decision.

-Not like this. Never like this.

He both regreted and was relieved by his words the moment he had uttered them.

A huff, and slim arms crossed over his chest. It helped a little, once the temptation was over. 

-Okay then, boring. What’s this gift you want? Wanna give me a necklace or something? You seem the possessive type.

Damian breathed in, deeply. This was the moment.

-Open your hand, please.

Eyes rolling over the drama, one hand on his hip, he stretched out the other one, palm up.

Bracing himself, Damian retrieved something from his pouch. Before he could second guess himself, he softly placed it on Timothy’s hand.

Deep, rich green. Shinning gold. A sea of those colors, with specks of icy blue floating around.

His own soul.

Timothy’s eyes went to the soul, the one that wasn’t his, and widened a little. Reflexively, he closed his fingers around the orb as much as he could. He was still being moved by the muscle memory, the compulsion of pleasing Robin.

A second later, tears started to endlessly flow, and he was screaming in pain. 

-----.----

For months, years, Damian had looked over him and saw two separate pieces of the same puzzle. Soul and body, beautiful on their own, but absolutely breathtaking if he only could put them together.

Now, the full picture stood in front of him. Despite its beauty, there were visible cracks where Damian had forced their ragged ends together, where he had to put his own soul as a filler between them.

Effective as it was, meshing two pieces, despite they belonging to the same puzzle, wasn’t the most gentle way to mend them.

They were bound to break a little, in order to fit.

-What have you done to me?! -demanded Timothy, hand clutching desperately at his chest (the other one still holding the gifted soul core), knees failing him. He would have crashed into the ground, if not for Damian’s firm arm around his waist.

He looked completely miserable, scared and shocked, which sent waves of both guilt and elation through him, because his Beloved was hurting because of him, but he was feeling.

Timothy’s eyes shone hatefully. It was the most beautiful shade of icy blue he had ever seen. Even if the emotion was such a dark one, they weren’t empty anymore. 

-It’ll be over soon -he shushed, slowly sinking to his knees and bringing the man into his lap, almost engulfing him between arms and firm chest, as if to protect him from the pain that was coming from deep inside; distantly, he heard Kon and Jon’s voices as they approached, their concern obvious but unimportant at the moment-, you just have… a lot of emotional catching up to do.

-What is happening to me?! How?! This isn’t my soul! I shouldn’t be feeling my own emotions! -he shrieked, his entire body shaking, and it was obvious he would have attacked Damian if not so focused on his own pain. Tears fell seemingly without his notice, and flickers of different emotions crossed his face. Guilt, anger, joy, sadness, rage, fondness, pain, guilt, anger, joy… Too quick to properly categorize, too sudden for Timothy to process them. Those were the emotions his soul had been storing this past few years, and it was all crashing down around him.

-I’m well connected to the soul you gave me. As thus, by using my own as a conduit and bonding us together, yours finally has a way to reach out to you, to do its job and make you feel. It’s muted, not as strong as it’d be if you had accepted your own soul back in the first place. I’m afraid that would have killed you.

-I feel like I’m dying now.

There was screaming. Then laughter. Panic and crying. Puking. Timothy’s hand left his chest to tug at his hair, plucking off strand, then going to his naked arms and leaving red indents with his nails. Softly, he took his fingers between his,  Timothy’s back to his chest, if only to keep him from hurting himself any longer.

-I can’t breath. I can’t think. Why did you do this to me? I love you. No, I don’t. Fuck, I’m going crazy -Daman tightened his arms around the man, shushing him, rocking back and forth on the ground, wishing desperately he could sooth his pain.

-It’ll pass.

Timothy whined, and cried, and smiled, and puked on the sand.  

-I hate you right now. I love you. I’m scared. I hate you again. I/

-I know, love. I know.

When he passed out, still caught between tears and smiles, Damian couldn’t help but feel relief.

#My writing #soul shards #soul shards au #Tim Drake #Damian wayne #damitim #bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #jason todd #Stephanie Brown #Cassandra Cain Wayne #kon el kent #Conner kent #Jon kent #ra's al ghul mentioned #young justice is mentioned

[rijurambles]

Interview Qs! What cheers you up when you’re feeling down? Is it someone else? Is it an activity, a memory? | How would you describe your physical appearance? If someone were to pick you out from a crowd, what would they look for first? | What are the favourites of your hobbies? Are you any good at them?

HOO BOY HERE WE GO. LONG POST. AND I. MEAN LONG. H.

tysm for this ask @quilloftheclouds !

Twilight Winchester :

When I'm feeling sad? Well, it depends, really. I tend to get lonely very often - even though I'm surrounded by people. It's quite the oxymoron. I find myself lost in the past as well. Letting go of things isn't really my strong suit. But for now, let's put the past behind us, shall we?

It's especially hard for me to get out of a rut when I'm already in one. There is no real cure for it - I suppose it's my mindset that makes me cling to these feelings - but there are distractions. Writing about my thoughts helps me get them out, even if I'm too much of a coward to put them all down for fear of someone reading them. I keep my journal almost religiously. It's not supposed to be sappy, it's supposed to be a record of things so I don't forget, but that never really ended up happening. Nevertheless, it's certainly improved my handwriting.

Swordplay also helps to put me at ease. It really shouldn't, knowing that I hold such a deadly tool in my hands, but it helps me feel safe, I guess. Exercises like training drills and herding the goats help with familiarity. I'm usually lost without a routine. I don't have much time to do anything else, since I'm booked up looking after Colin, Liza, Talo, Malo, and Beth all the time, but I also enjoy knitting. Mi- my companion taught me how. I can usually go through a skein in a few days. It's nothing much, really - and Rusl argues that I'll cut up my hands if I use smaller needles, but it does mean that I always have warm clothes in the winter.

...

I don't think I'm much worth describing. People have told me that I need to take better care of my appearance, but with how much exercise I get, and, in contrast, how little sleep I get, I don't think I could really manage anything. Uli always told me that I look like a tree. I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, but I always thought that meant I was really thin. Not to say that I'm not. And, of course, I get the height speech from everyone. I don't know why everyone else seems to be shorter than me. Perhaps I'll hit another growth spurt and my door will be too small for me.

Some people seem to be perceptive on the whole face-markings thing. It's none of their concern. They're tattoos.

...

I think I enjoy horseback riding the most. Riding across Hyrule emerses me with a special feeling. I suppose it's confidence. I just hope I've never pushed Epona too hard - she does so much for me, and I can't ever really repay her. That reminds me; go get apples from Faron Woods. I'm almost out.

Carly Callisto :

Oh! I'm suprised someone asked about me! Usually I ramble so much about myself that no one really wants to hear more, haha. I don't usually get sad, though! Ever since I started my study of the mind, I've had much better control over my emotions. That's not to say I've never gotten sad, though. Due to my mental disabilities, I tend to feel emotions much stronger than others. It's hard to get out of that mindset, so I try to avoid it at all costs. But of course, a little music can fix anything! Lurelin's historical shanties are very interesting. Unfortunately, Danté's the only one who knows them, and - no offense here, gramps - but his voice is a bit old for the range. Nevermind that, though! It's better to focus on the positive things in life!

...

I'm very proud of how I look! I've been wanting to decide on something that was really me for a long time now. The color scheme is complimentary, of course. Blue and yellow make for a bright and fun time. And then there's my prized hibiscus. It tops everything off - quite literally- on my head. Lu calls me Fräulein Flower cause of how I look. It's a cute nickname!

...

It may be obvious already, but I'm a triple threat! Singing is my passion, but I'm alright at dancing, and I've even helped Dahira on a lot of her performances! Language is confusing, but it's a fascinating study. As of right now, I can speak Hylian, some Sheikah, Gerudo, and of course, I can understand Roxy! Swimming is very freeing for me, since I can't breathe very well. I'm always happy when I get to wade around near Lurelin.

Luto Albelnour :

I don't see why it's your business to be concerned about when I'm sad, but, go off, I guess. Man, you're just like Flower. You probably think you can fix everything, huh? Nevermind. I get sad more than I'd like to. My mind is stubborn and tends to dwell on things that I've already settled. I usually just push through it. I'll get nowhere if I stop to rest. Practicing my magic helps me calm down, though. Dimas says that anger doesn't fuel fire, but I think he might be a little off on that one. Whenever I get especially sad, it's always Flower that tries to help me. I appreciate the concern, but, well, I can handle it on my own. I already have a favorite memory. Of course, it doesn't really work the wonders it used to back when I was learning from Dad. Now it just makes me more lonely.

...

It's optimal for me to keep warm for the best magic ability. Heat is paramount to be able to make a constant fire. Fräulein Flower always says I dress like it's winter in summer, but obviously, she has never actually been a fire mage. Nothing is too hot. I've tossed out the mask now, but if I still wore it, then it'd probably be bad news. People don't usually believe me when I say I'm a Sheikah because of my hair. It....kind of makes me feel bad for dying it. But I don't want to look like him anymore.

...

I don't have time for hobbies. I have work to do - fire training, preserving my culture, meditating, blade practice - et cetera. I hope those garden snakes don't run away.... Eh? Did I say something? No. No I didn't. Clean out your ears.

#rijuwrites #loz #loz ocs #zelda ocs #twilight princess link #carly callisto #luto albelnour #oc asks #interview questions #quilloftheclouds #linksona

[aquariusrunes]

The Superfriends AU (part 10)

Damian was not having a good day. It was six in the morning, he had to be at Edna’s photoshoot in an hour, he had left a perfectly warm and very cuddly boyfriend and large dog in his bed, and his cousin was rambling far too much for his taste. He sat out in the lobby of the floor their rooms were on, leaned back as far as he possibly could in one of the red chairs, his legs crossed, hands gripping the armrests. A scowl to rival Batman's resting on his face. 

Marinette sat in the chair next to him, his laptop on the coffee table in front of them. The girl was hunched over typing frantically on his phone. She had kept it all night, which didn’t both him much, he could go a few hours without being constantly updated on the Gotham Academy Class 1A drama. As long as she was keeping it charged. 

The second half of the photoshoot the day before had been very interesting, his cousin spending every moment of every break they got on his phone. When he had a moment to check it at dinner he noted four unknown contacts, she labeled each of them.

First there was Sweetness.

Then there was Mighty Mouse.

One labeled Rock Vamp Opera.

And finally the one she had been exchanging the most texts with, Foxtrot.   

He waited for his cousin to finish whatever long text rant she was obviously on, instead he checked himself in the camera of his laptop, fixing his hair. He smoothed it back as best he could but without any product it was hard. Edna had forbidden him from gelling it till the shoot was over. The things he put up with in this family, really. 

“What exactly are we doing?” Damian asked. 

“We’re going to…” She trailed off, still focused on her texting. “Video call some girls I go to school with.” She finished. 

“At six in the morning?” He asked. 

“Time difference Dames.” She set down his phone. “Okay!” She pulled his laptop close. “They just broke for lunch so Juleka should be logging on soon enough!” Marinette pulled up a web page browser, typing in the URL for Instagram. She immediately went to Damian’s account. He wasn’t sure when his cousin had gotten his password, but knowing how much Dick loved to mess around on it, he had to assume she got it from him. 

“Okay, I’m going to change a few lines of your bio.” 

“Why?” He asked, head falling back. 

“Well, Colin takes over your instagram on weekends right?” She asked.

“When I see him, yes.” Honestly, Colin and Dick were really the only ones who posted on his instagram. It was clearly stated in his bio that Colin controlled his instagram on weekends, the fact that Dick was in control of it the rest of the time, was not mentioned anywhere.  

“So I’m going to change this line, red menace takeover weekends. To something clearly stating your relationship.” 

“He’s called my boyfriend in practically every post that features him.” Damian said, now leaning forward to see what his cousin was altering. 

“Yeah, but people are lazy, and don’t want to dig. They want things to be obvious and loud so they don’t have to put a lot of thought into it.” She grumbled. “Trust me, I know from experience, some of the people at my school literally have to be punched in the face and then kick in the nuts by the truth before they believe it.” 

“Try not to sound too bidder Nette.” Damian hummed. 

“Just, prep yourself to give a good speech about your and Colin’s relationship. We’re really going to need something that pulls right on the heart strings.” 

“Because?” He asked, this whole morning was excruciatingly annoying. 

“Are you going to use Rose?” Damian looked up, taking notice of two blonde Parisian teens standing at the entrance to the lobby. They both were still in what looked like pajamas, both holding coffee. 

“That’s the plan.” Marinette said, answering Adrien’s earlier question. 

“Devious.” Chloé cocked her hip, taking a sip from her cup. “And relatively smart. Should be quite the show. Shame we’ll miss it.” 

“Someone could always ask nicely for their friends to record it.” Marinette mused. 

“Should I text Nino?” Adrien asked, his face clearly stating how unsure he was of the situation. 

“If you want.” Marinette said, finishing her work on her cousin’s social media. “I’m going to give my crew a heads up once things are in motion. If you do text him though, let him know nothings happening till, most likely, after lunch.” 

“Marinette?” Her fingers stopped their work, her head popping up to look at Adrien. “You sure about this?” He asked. “It could be kind of...explosive.” His fingers tightened around his coffee. “What if it causes an akuma?” 

She gave him an understanding smile. “Don’t worry Adrien, I’ve got contigonsies for that. Like I said a few days ago, I’m playing a game of RISK, and you can’t win the game if you don’t capture any territory.” 

“And your about to clear the board form the looks of it.” Chloé smirked. 

“Something like that.” Marinette looked back down at the computer, switching back onto the video chat app and logining online. “But the goal isn’t to clear the board, not yet.”

… 

Contrary to popular belief nowadays, Mylène did not hate Marinette. She didn’t even necessarily dislike the girl. But she did not agree with the brash and loud way she had been going about her problems with Lila. She found them rude and distasteful, and honestly, a little out of character for her once friend. She was sure Marinette didn’t do everything Lila accused her of, at least half of the allegations had to be simple misunderstandings that the two girls could never figure out because they were always at one another's throats. 

But try as she might, she just couldn’t take Marinette’s side. Lila brought up quite a few good points in regards to Marinette’s character, while the Italian girl wasn’t a saint either, Marinette wasn’t quite the angel everyone thought she was. And some of her and Lila’s fights were truly violent and horrendous to watch. 

But she wasn’t one to speak poorly of others, especially not Marinette. While the girls weren’t friends anymore, and she didn’t agree with what was now Marinette’s additude, she still was nice to most people, even those who sided with Lila. And she did a lot for people, even when they didn’t notice her good deeds. 

Marinette had always been very eccentric ever since Mylène had known her. But this was probably one of the strangest things she had ever experienced due to Marinette. Mylène was seated on Juleka’s bed, Rose seated on the goth girl’s other side. They were staring at Juleka’s laptop, a facetime app opened. 

Last night all three had received text messages from unknown numbers claiming to be Marinette texting from a friend’s phone. Mylène was sceptical, even after getting a picture sent to her, but Rose was curious and so was her other friend, so when they said they were going to be eating lunch at Juleka’s house so they could talk with Marinette, Mylène agreed to go along with everything. 

“Okay…” Juleka typed in the screen name she had been sent the night before, AmyrWayne05. 

“What do you think she wants?” Mylène asked. “And who’s phone was she texting from?”

“I don’t know..” Rose crossed her ankles. “I didn’t recognize the boy in the photo she sent.” 

“Neither did I.” Juleka said. 

“I didn’t even know Marinette was out of the country.” Mylène whispered. 

“Kim and the others probably did.” Juleka supplied. “I doubt she wouldn’t have told them,”

“But why didn’t they tell us?” Rose asked, blinking innocently. 

“I can think of a few reasons.” Mylène’s voice was low, wondering why her boyfriend hadn’t said anything. 

“Well whatever they might be, we’re about to find out.” Juleka called attention to the screen name displayed on her laptop. The three girls watched as the smaller text underneath the name changed from offline to online. A second later Juleka was being asked to join a video call. She quickly hit except and the screen went black, loading until the familiar face of Marinette Dupain-Cheng was on the screen. 

“Girls!” She said happily. “Thank you so much for calling!” 

“You said it was important.” Rose said, eyes a little down cast. The girls didn’t exactly talk on the regular any more. 

“It is! Super important.” 

“So, what’s going on?” Mylène asked, wanting to get through the call as quickly as possible. She had felt weird all day, not telling Lila or Alya about the texts from Marinette, it was like she was cheating on them. 

“Okay,” The bluenette let out a large breath. “I know you guys think Lila hung the moon-”

“Marinette I am not going to sit here and listen to you bash on her!” Mylène interjected. 

“That’s not what this is!” She waved her hands frantically. “I promise!” 

“It better not be.” Mylène crossed her arms. 

“I promise girls, it’s really not. I-just, okay, so I heard that Lila’s been telling people that she’s dating Damian Wayne. Right?” 

“She is.” Rose informed. “They’ve been dating for a few months now. They’re really in love and I’m not going to listen to you say anything negative about their relationship Marinette.” Anyone who knew Rose, at least knew her well, knew that love was the thing she was most passionate about. She refused to stand for any sort of injustice involving the subject and would defend a couple till her dying breath, no matter how well she knew them. 

“Okay.” Marinette said, voice low. “Then I won’t say anything.” She gave a sad smile. “I’ll let him tell you.” The laptop suddenly shifted, the view changing quickly from their classmate to a good looking young man they recognized from the photo Marinette sent the night prior. 

“Hello.” He said, eyeing each of them carefully. “Do you three know who I am?”

“Your the guy from the picture Marinette sent.” Jukela answered. 

“Would one of you please google Damian Wayne for me?” He asked, Rose quickly complying with the request. She looked up the famous boo of their friend on her phone, a small gasp escaping her lips as she turned the small screen towards her girlfriend and Mylène. 

And there was the boy currently on Juleka’s laptop.

“You’re Damian Wayne?” Mylène asked. 

“That’s what my driver’s licence says.” He said, but his tone made the three girls unsure whether it was supposed to be a joke or not. 

“Why are you with Marientte?” Juleka asked. 

The boy looked to something off screen, probably the girl in question. “Can I?” He asked. He waited a moment before sighing. “I’m sure you’ll all find out why later, but for the moment, all you need to know is that I am with her as of the current moment.” 

Rose gave him a strange look but didn’t say anything. 

“This is why you wanted to talk to us?” Mylène asked. “To tell us you were hanging out with Lila’s boyfriend?”

“No.” Her voice came. 

“Actually, Lila is why we wanted to talk.” Damian said. 

“What about her?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

The three girls all went quiet, none speaking. His face was pensive, eyebrows nicked and corners of his lips pulled down into a frown. “I’ve never even met Lila.”

“But she said she’s known you since you were very little!” Rose exclaimed.

“A lie.” He said simply. “I couldn’t have known her from the time I was little because I was locked away in a compound till I was ten years old, and even then I was kept exclusively within the walls of Wayne Manor for another year before my father could introduce safely to the world as his ward without my Grandfather taking harsh and violent action.”

“She said her parents were friends with your dad.” Juleka added.

“I’ve checked with my father and he’s never met anyone with the surname Rossi. And none of his friends have a child named Lila.”

“I’m very confused.” Rose whispered. 

“Girls, we need your help!” Marinette’s voice came. “Or rather, Damian does.”

“With what?” Mylène asked. 

“Adrien mentioned that Lila’s been telling pretty much everyone that she and I are dating, is that correct?” Damian asked, his hands folding in front of him. 

“She’s been talking about it for the past few days.” Mylène said, she vaguely remembered Nino mentioning Adrien being out of town for a modeling gig that involved Damian Wayne, she was still confused as to why Marinette was with them though.

“She’s told practically everyone who would listen, and some who wouldn’t.” Juleka crossed her arms. To most it would be hard to pick up on, but Mylène could tell when the girl was angry. Juleka had been questioning Lila a lot more lately, Mylène was sure the girl was just waiting for a good reason to switch sides, and the only reason she hadn’t already was because of Rose. Juleka had been Mylène’s saving grace when it came to her current problems with Ivan. The goth girl was probably afraid of a rift forming between her and her girlfriend the way it had between the classes former favorite sweet hearts. 

Damian sighed on screen. “I’m not a person who likes to ask for assistance from others, but under these circumstances, I’m in need of your help.” The three girls watched as his hand raised to pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes closed before his hand dropped and he looked up at them. “I don’t know how much you all know about Gotham, but people have always had mixed reactions when my siblings have come out in the past, my own coming out included. Normally they don’t have a huge problem with it because all of my siblings have come out as pansexual or bisexual, or something that includes both genders. But when I came out I didn’t specify my sexuality. I just announced I was dating Colin.”

Oh no. 

Mylène could feel it, Rose’s heart was swelling. If he was really about to go into a long winded story about he and his boyfriend’s love, then Mylène was sure Rose’s Champion of Love and Justice persona was about to be uncaged. Many of their classmates called it her Sailor Moon mode. 

“Who’s Colin?” Rose asked, voice timmed and quiet. 

“Colin is my boyfriend.” A small smile gracing the boy’s hard features. “We’ll be celebrating our three year anniversary in two months and two days.”

“Oh.” Rose’s hands clasped together, a dreamy look crossing her face. 

Suddenly Damian’s face become more downcast. “Not a lot of people like Colin. Well, not a lot of people who people listen to like him.”

“Why ever not?” The blonde asked, moving so her face was closer to the screen.

“Colin is an orphan.”  The words were blunt and hit all three girls hard and unexpectedly. Of all the things Mylène had been prepared for this morning the heart breaking backstory of Damian Wayne’s boyfriend was not one of them. “Basically anyone with money and influence insists he’s a gold digger trying to mooch off of me. And the Wayne Ward Fangirls are quick to crucify him for anything he does, wrong, right, good, bad, all of it. And of course there are those in the religious communities who are constantly berating us. That faction is especially hard on him, he lives in a Catholic orphanage you see.”

“That’s terrible!” Mylène could swear that the small blonde girl had tears in her eyes. 

“While I agree that’s awful, and I also agree that Lila shouldn’t be lying about dating you, I don’t see what it is you need our help with?” Juleka asked, voice laced in confusion. 

“If word gets around,” suddenly Marinette’s face was squished in frame with Damian’s. “That Damian has a long distance girlfriend, things are going to get worse for his and Colin’s relationship.”

“People in Gotham play very dirty, they’ll latch on to any rumor or fact, as long as it serves their needs. People will be throwing Lila Rossi’s name in my face, in Colin’s face, and in the faces of all of my family members for years.” Damian’s face had gone back to sternly neutral. “People will insist that Colin broke us up or something absurd like that, they’ll use her to villainize him.”

“They will?” Juleka asked, concern written on her face. “That sounds like something that only happens in movies.”

“They will.” He insisted. “Trust me, I’ve seen it happen before to members of my family and their friends. It’s just a matter of time before it gets to the right people, unless…”

“Unless?” Rose asked, voice going high, the girl eager to help. 

“Unless we cut off the head of the snake.” Mylène supplied. “We need to make a statement, make sure everyone who might have heard Lila’s lies knows that it’s fake.”

“The louder the better.” Marinette added. “To make sure she doesn’t turn it around on Colin or Damian.”

“I hate to ask this of you,” Damian said. “Especially since we are perfect strangers, but my c-“ He grunted, his body jostling on the screen as Marinette shot him a glare. “Companion.” He finished begrudgingly. “My companion here, insists that you three can be trusted with this task.” 

“Please help us girls.” Marinette said. “If not for me, then for Damian and Colin.” 

Damian sighed before going into his own plea. “Colin is very important to me.” His voice was quiet. “I’m not the easiest person to get along with, and everyone says I don’t deserve someone like him.” He looked down. “He is one of the most important people in my life and I don’t want some girl, who I’ve never even met, to ruin it because she wanted her five minutes of fame.”

Rose stood quickly from the bed, almost knocking the computer off her girlfriend’s lap. “Don’t worry Damian! We’ll take care of everything!” She shouted, running for the door, her voice leaving behind the call of “no one stands in the way of true love!”

Juleka and Mylène watched her go before the goth girl sighed. “We should go get her before she runs all the way back to school.”

“Yeah,” Mylène stood. “She’s going to need backup.” She looked back at the computer. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything.”

… 

Nino didn’t know what was going on. 

He was sitting on the stairs in the gym area of his school, most of the student body just loitering around. Lunch was over but they still had about five minutes before anyone needed to start heading to their class rooms. The room was filled with soft chatter and laughter, he wasn’t invested in any conversations though. 

Adrien had texted him a few minutes ago and told him to start recording. He didn’t know why, but like a good bro, he did as asked. His phone was barely raised, picking up mostly just the shoes of his classmates. He noticed across the gym Marinette’s crew also had their phones up and were recording, though Nino wasn’t sure why. He now knew that Marinette and Adrien were in Steel City together, but Marinette had asked that the reason she was there with Edna remain secret and Nino didn’t want to pry into the girl’s personal life. If she didn’t want to tell anyone, then she had a good reason. But he also knew, via Kim, that Marinette had no international coverage and couldn’t contact anyone. Leaving the question of what her crew was currently doing? 

Maybe Adrien texted them too? 

But what would he need recorded so badly?

Nino debated getting up and going over to talk to the group but Lila and Alya were stationed in the middle of the gym, either girl would spot him if he made his way over to his secret friends. And he really didn’t feel like lying to his girlfriend today. 

‘ BANG ’

Everyone jumped as the doors to the school crashed into the walls behind them. All eyes on the entrance, taking in the petite form of Rose Lavillant. The small girl’s face was heated a blush pink, eyes narrowed into a glare and hands clenched into fists. Juleka stood on Rose’s right, her backpack slung over her shoulder and her girlfriend’s carried in her hands. Mylène stood on the girl’s left, arms crossed and an expression on her face that looked both angry and guilty. 

“LILA ROSSI!” 

His hand instinctively shot into the air, camera focusing on the trio. Nino had known Rose since he was five years old, and not once in all of those years, could he ever remember her yelling, nor could he ever remember her really being angry. And definitely not this rage fueled. No one spoke as the three girls made their way towards the center of the gym, Lila and Alya both standing helplessly in the girls’ sights. Nino took notice of his friends’ phones now trained on the pack as well. 

“Rose?” Lila asked. “Is everything oka-”

“SHUT UP!” 

Nino flinched at the pink girl’s tone, several others in the crowd did as well. 

“Rose what’s wrong?” Alya quickly inserted herself between the two as Nino stood, standing on a higher stair to get a better camera angle. 

“What’s wrong?” The blonde asked. “What’s wrong?!” Rose’s hand raised into the air, for a panicked moment Nino thought his girlfriend was going to get decked in the face. But then Rose’s finger shot out from her fist, pointing accusingly at Lila. “SHE’S A LIAR!” 

With her words came a few cheers from Marinette’s crew and a handful of others in the school who had come to resent the girl. 

Nino even heard one “preach” though he couldn’t tell where it had come from. 

“Ros-” Alya was cut off. 

“Everyone!” Mylène shouted, “Take out your phones and google Damian Wayne, you know the famous kid from Gotham? I’m sure everyone knows that he’s Lila’s boyfriend, or so she’s been telling us.” Mylène shot a glare over her shoulder at the brunette. “Go to his instagram!” 

Nino didn’t want to stop recording, thankfully he could see the people’s phones in front of him. The boy’s icon was a picture of him flipping off the camera with a rainbow painted on his cheek. His bio was only four lines. 

Damian Wayne

Animal Rights Activist 

My Boyfriend and Brother are the only ones who post on here

Please don’t talk to me

Nino tried really hard not to laugh, but couldn’t help his snicker. He knew pretty much instantly that Damian was not in fact Lila’s boyfriend, and doubted them ever actually meeting. But did she seriously not do even the smallest bit of research? There is no way it would have been that hard to figure out that the boy was gay, let alone in a relationship. 

“That’s right everybody!” Mylène shouted. “Damian Wayne has a boyfriend!”

“He’s cheating on me?” Lila asked eyes wide and heartbroken, Nino would admit, it was a good idea to save face. Claim the long distance son of a playboy was a player himself. If he didn’t know better he’d probably buy it. 

“They’ve been dating for three years.” Juleka’s voice was quiet but strong, the people around her who heard it started passing it back to those behind them who didn't.

Lila opened her mouth to spit out another lie but Rose beat her to the punch. “TWO YEARS, NINE MONTHS, THREE WEEKS, AND FIVE DAYS!” Her fists were clenched at her sides again, her whole body shaking. “THEY ARE TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM CELEBRATING THEIR THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! AND THIS-THIS...LIAR! IS TRYING TO TEAR APART THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER!”

Juleka placed a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, trying to calm her just a little bit. 

“Lila also lied about knowing the Waynes! Damian Wayne didn’t interact with anyone outside of his family until he was eleven! And Bruce Wayne confirmed that he doesn’t know anyone with the last name Rossi, and none of his friends have a daughter named Lila!” Mylène shouted. “The three of us talked to Damian Wayne today! Adrien Agreste is modeling with him right now in America! He asked Damian about Lila and he’s never even heard of her!” 

There were mixed reactions from the crowd surrounding them. Mylène suddenly shot her phone into the air. “He sent me a video telling the whole story! If anyone wants to watch it! I will happily show it to you!”

“I can so explain this!” Lila said, stepping forward. “You see, some of Gotham’s villains have come after my famil-“

“I SAID SHUT UP!” Rose screeched. “COLIN WILKES IS A PRECIOUS BOY WHO DESERVES THE WORLD! AND YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE HIS PERSON FROM HIM JUST FOR A LITTLE ATTENTION!” Juleka pulled Rose back a step, worried about her girlfriend getting too out of control. “GOD!” She shouted. “YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE...LITTLE-”

“Say it Rose!” Alix shouted from the side lines, Nino swore if her the short girl’s smile got any wider her face would crack in half.

“ATTENTION WHORE!” He almost dropped his phone. The crowd, which had started to get more vocal, went silent. Alya’s jaw dropped and even Lila was left speechless and wide eyed. 

“Oh my god.” Kim’s voice carried over the noiseless room. 

Rose was left fuming. Her body was still vibrating at a speed Nino was sure couldn’t healthy. Her cheeks were puffed out, making her eyes large, the blues popping out against her now red face. 

“Lila is a liar and nobody should believe a word she says.” The girl huffed. “I am the champion of love and justice,” she squared her shoulders. “And refuse to stand idle while someone destroys the bond of two sweethearts.” Rose took a deep breath before striking a pose similar to Sailor Moon’s iconic one. “In the name of true love, Liar Rossi, I will punish you!”

Nino was not prepared for the burst of applause that erupted from the crowd. He actually howled out a cheer of his own, phone focused on the girls in the center of the mob. He moved his phone to follow Lila as she went running out of the corral of applauding teenagers. He assumed she was heading for the bathroom, probably to fake cry till someone came to comfort her. 

A long, loud, exasperated sigh fell from his lips as he watched his girlfriend chase after the Italian girl. He shook his head as he stopped the video, tapping on his messaging app and sending the video to his best bro. 

DJBubbles: Dude

DJBubbles: how did u know this was going 2 happen?

… 

Alya hesitated outside of the bathroom door. Cautiously she glanced back over her shoulder, people were still cheering she could hear them from down the hall. She wished she could be with them. But she had a mission to see through, and with everyone turning on Lila she knew it was do or die time. 

She slipped her phone into her back pocket and took in a deep breath before pushing open the door, masking her face in concern as she approached the girl hunched over one of the sinks. Lila had her face in her hands, muffled crying sounds coming from behind her fingers.

“Lila?” She asked quietly. 

“Oh god!” Lila turned away from her. “Alya it’s so awful!” She took a few steps farther away, laying her head against the wall of the restroom. “I-I just-just…” 

“Lila it’s okay…” Alya placed her hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I’m sure this is all just a misunderstanding.”

Lila sniffled, looking at the girl over her shoulder. “It’s not.” She whispered. “I lied.” She turned her head away quickly. 

“Why?” Alya asked. 

“I don’t know.” Lila whipped around, tears streaming down her face. “I-well, I just-” She sniffled loudly. “I like Adrien so much.” She started, back leaning against the wall. “But he didn’t really seem to take notice of me, so I thought if while he was gone I could get everyone talking about how I had this awesome boyfriend it’d make him, well, I don’t know.” 

“You wanted Adrien to be jealous of Damian?” Alya asked, eyebrow cocked. 

“Y-yeah.” Lila looked down. “I know it was stupid and I just should have kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t know how else to get his attention.” A few more tears streamed down her cheeks, her hands raising to rub at her eyes. “I’m so sorry I lied to you.” 

Alya sighed. “Look, I can kind of see why you did it.” She crossed her arms. “But Adrien isn’t the type to respond to jealousy. In fact, if he did like you and found out you were with someone else, then he would gracefully bow out. He wouldn’t want to come between you two.” 

Lila’s eyes stayed focused on the floor. “I guess I didn’t think about that. He really is so sweet.” She whispered. 

“And while I don’t think you should have lied about dating Damian Wayne, I definitely don’t think Rose, Juleka, and Mylène had the right to humiliate you like that. It was uncalled for.” Alya’s eyebrows nicked together. “They should have just asked to talk to you in private. Seriously, I have never seen them act so vicious.” 

“Marinette must have turned them against me.” Lila’s face suddenly hardened. “She’s out to get me Alya. You know she is. She’s taking everyone away from me!” Lila surged forward, grabbing the girl’s shoulder. “She’s going to steal you too!” 

“Marinette will never steal me from you Lila.” Alya sucked in a deep breath. “Your my best friend, and I’ve got your back no matter what!” God that left such an awful taste in her mouth. 

“Thank you Alya!” Lila pulled the girl into a tight hug. One brunette’s face turned devious while it was hidden, the other simply rolled her eyes. 

… 

Nino took his seat at his desk, unable to hide the smile on his face. He was rewatching the video on his phone. He honestly hadn’t felt this good in a while, probably not since the last time he wielded the Turtle Miraculous. It felt like everything was over, but seeing as how Lila still had Alya, and probably Sabrina, who was out sick today, he figured it wasn’t. Meaning his job as mole wasn’t done quite yet. But the few minutes he had to celebrate the Liar’s major take down with his friends was invigorating and made him feel like he was operating at one hundred percent again. 

Rose, Juleka and Mylène all came into class together, everyone already in the room standing up and cheering for them. Alya and Lila weren’t back from the bathroom yet, so Nino applauded them from his seat. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” Kim shouted. “The hero of the hour, champion of love and justice herself!” He jumped up on his desk, extending his hands in an overly complicated gesture in Rose’s direction. “Ms. Rose Lavillant!” 

Nino’s classmates cheered harder as Nathanael walked forward and embraced the tiny girl in a hug. “We’ve missed you sweetness.” 

“I’ve missed you all too!” Rose hugged him back as forcefully as she could. “I’m so so sorry everyone!” She pulled back from the red head, positioning herself to look at those who filled the opposite side of the classroom as Nino. “Can you ever forgive me for falling for her lies?”

“It took all of us time to see she was lying,” Max came forward, setting his hand on Rose’s shoulder. “The important thing is that you finally saw through them.” 

“Yeah, she’s pretty good at covering her ass, none of us blame you for taking so long.” Alix said, kicking her feet up on the desk.

“Do you think we could have our old seats back?” Juleka asked, voice quiet as she stepped forward and took Rose’s hand. 

Kim jumped down from his and Alix’s shared desk. He held his arms wide open, embracing the two girls. “Welcome home babe.” He said, dramatized tears in his voice. “God we’ve missed you.” 

Alix rolled her eyes. “Knock it off drama queen.” She yelled. “Seriously though,” She swung her feet around on the bench, standing up and gesturing to the seats. “It’s good to have you two back.” 

“I think you mean three.” Max said, he and Nathanael had their arms draped over Mylène’s shoulders. The girl had a small blush dusting her cheeks as she climbed the steps towards the back of the room where her boyfriend sat.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to you.” She whispered, eyes downcast. “Do you think you can forgive me?” Ivan gave a soft smile, scooting down the bench so that Mylène could sit by him. The girl sat down quickly, latching onto her boyfriend’s arm with a large smile. 

“Power couple’s back,” Kim whispered. “We got all our lovely ladies on the side of truth and justice, I know have video of Rose striking her cute ass sailor moon pose. It’s like all's right with the world!” He said, sitting down at Alix’s old desk, the girl having reclaimed her seat now that everybody’s favorite girlfriends had retaken their old desk.

Everyone was happily chattering away, Marinette’s crew filling in the three girls on everything they missed when Lila and Alya walked in. 

“Not all our lovely ladies have come to their senses.” Nino mumbled, resting his cheek against his fist. As long as Alya had yet to see the light, he couldn’t in good conscience retire as Marinette’s mole. And he certainly couldn’t leave his girlfriend alone with that coyote. 

“How can you still be friends with her?” Mylène asked. “After knowing everything was lie?” 

Alya shot the girl a dirty look. “She lied about having a boyfriend, that didn’t give you the right to humiliate her in front of the whole school.” She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “I swear, you’ve all become as bad as Marinette.” Alya took her seat behind Nino, Lila sitting where Marinette once did, large crocodile tears still streaming down her face. 

“Seriously Nino?” Juleka whispered, disbelief in her eyes.

The boy simply shook his head, turning away from the majority of his classmates. Alix flipped around on her knees, leaning close to the goth girl and whispering into her ear, she then moved on to give the small explanation to Rose. In the back of the room Ivan was quietly filling Mylène in on Nino’s situation. 

The three girls were quiet, save for Rose’s soft. “Oh.” Thankfully it wasn't loud enough for Alya or Lila to hear. 

It wasn’t long before Miss Bustier came into the classroom. She set her papers down on her desk, then turned to write something on the board before finally facing the class. Her eyes scanned the room slowly, a loud sigh escaping her lips. “Okay,” She breathed. “Let’s just begin class.” The poor woman was so tired. 

_______________________________________________________________________

(part 1)  (part 2)  (part 2.5)  (part 3)  (part 4)  (part 5)  (part 6) (part 7)  (part 8)  (part 9)  (part 10) - Here (part 11)

Not  exactly Photoshoot Part 3...I’m just trying so hard to get to this Incredibles cameo guys, I feel like I keep underestimating how long parts are going to be. I’m so sorry it’s taking so long for this character to show up. Anyway, who was prepared for Rose this time around? I love the idea of her being essentially this tank that no one sees coming till it’s far too late. Now it’s just Sabina and Alya, and Nino left on Lila’s side (or so she thinks). I also love the idea that the class has the most ridiculous pet names for one another. Not sure when part 11 will be up because we are getting very close to finals week at my college, but I’ll do my best to get something out as soon as possible! Thank you all so much for the likes, reblogs, and especially the comments! They are such huge mood boosters for me, they really change the whole course of my day and I appreciate them so much. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! I loved writing it. As always if you have any questions about the story or AU feel free to ask, I love getting them and will happily answer any question you got (even if it’s not about this AU)! And if you want to be tagged let me know! 

@graduatedmelon @northernbluetongue​ @violatiger8​ @bamagirl513​ @vixen-uchiha​ @beaversuenightly​ @tumbling-down-hills-and-stuff​ @todaylillypads​ @laurakinneylance​ @vgirl-10123​ @wellcrud-blog-blog​ @silvergold-swirl​ @crazylittlemunchkin​ @an-ahez​ @queencommonsense​ @ladybug-182​ @meganemily231​ @driftingmoonlitpetals​ @kand-roo​ @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry​ @theatreandcomicfreak​ @paradoxal-occurance​ @miraculousl4dybug @thanks-captain-obvious​ @sassydepression​ @multishipper1needshalp @wegan97​ @surprisebishhhhhhhhh  @redscarlet95 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @synnesstra @fandomkitty8 @tired-yeetling @saluteswifties @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @dast218 @naclychilli @royalchaoticfangirl @panda3506 @nataladriana9 @shreky-boi @my-name-is-michell @dawnwave16  @thethirdwheelfriend @quiet-oracle @heaven428

#edna mode meets batfam meets miraculous ladybug #Damian Wayne #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #chloe burgeois #nino lahiffe #rose lavillant #juleka couffaine #mylène haprèle #le chien kim #alix kubdel #ivan bruel #alya césaire #max kanté #nathaniel kurtzberg #sabrina raincomprix #lila rossi #miss bustier #miss bustier's class #miraculous ladybug #batman #dcmultiverse #dc #ml au #the superfriends au

[wolfjsamuel]

Life found a way, to make me cough out more cash for more JW movies I just saw "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" yesterday and decided to make a little review about it. This took me 5 hours on a rush this morning, so no Easter Eggs this time, and pardon the crudeness of the quality. [SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT] So I'm a big "Jurassic Park" fan, and I later came to appreciate "Jurassic World". So when I first heard about the sequel 2-3 years ago, I was super excited. But after finally seeing the film, I'm personally unsure of this sequel. For the most part, I felt a little let down, especially with the ending. Let's just say, this isn't the last time Chris Pratt will be dawning the Raptor-Handler persona. But mainly what struck me the most was the treatment of the dinosaurs themselves. This by far is the most emotional time you'll have with the creatures. And I felt it lost the beauty and purpose of "Jurassic Park" . You see, "Jurassic Park" was always about the wonder and glory of these creatures. In this sequel, it didn't seem to honor the creatures as much, in fact, its the opposite, it left them bruised and abused. Unlike previous films where the dinosaurs (in some way or another) take back control of their natural lives, this film hardened on the idea of "dinosaur vs. man" to a heart wrenching degree, which is what Spielberg tried to avoid in his original film. Another thing about JP was the idea of "control", the message being you can't control nature. In this movie, they force the idea that man CAN control nature in a violent way, and as a result, opens the door to the suffrage of these creatures. There was a scene that really broke my heart, which gave me the same sentiment about Han Solo dying. There is one creature who we've seen from the VERY beginning of Jurassic Park, one who has been featured in all (3) movies, which is considered an one of the iconic characters of the film, who perishes by the lava in this movie. If I were the director of this film I would have saved that creature. It is one that welcomed us to the park, and it should have been preserved. Although, sure, it was nature-killing-nature; you had the human element taking these creatures outta the island, they should saved this one as well. Any ways, If you've seen the trailer, and if you're a true fan, you'll obviously get the similarities with"Jurassic Park: The Lost World", and it pretty much is, but with a different ending (an ending that is "the beginning of the end" so to speak). From characters to dialogue, each scene had reference to "The Lost World", right down to the lack of use of the original "Welcome to Jurassic Park" theme song (which dishearten me a bit). Now despite my disappointment, there are some good traits to the film. What I enjoyed the most was spotting the many subtle and obvious references to the original Jurassic Park trilogy, as well as seeing the return of iconic characters from Jurassic World. Added to that, a new twist to InGen genetic-cloning research and backstory story (emphasis on cloning). The reference to John Hammond's back story and his previously unmentioned business partner was very interesting as well. However I wished they'd have done more, maybe add some flashbacks to to the original Jurassic Park itself. Something along the lines of West World, with Anthony Hopkins. Would have been great to see John Hammond in CGI with a younger James Cromwell (Lockworth). Another great thing aesthetically is the use of animatronics, prior to the premier, they had mention the use of returning practical effects, and what's cool is that now days you can't actually distinguish which is practical and which is CGI, and I found myself attempting to spot that for this movie. But I digress, as mentioned, there's obviously going to be more JW movies. Maybe then we'll we delve into the backstory of pre-Jurassic Park and even further since, as previously mention, there is a new installment to the Jurassic-Genetic story that hasn't been done in prior films (And no, it's not the hybrid...it's certainly not an animal for that matter). So, much like Star Wars, we will have to wait and see where the true story will go. Cause right now, "Fallen Kingdom" just opened the door to a new venture. Overall though, "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" was still exciting to watch, despite the critics I made. I think there could have been more to this film; difference of execution. But at the same time, there was just enough to keep me intrigued, and enough to make me a critic - so a fair balance splitting me in the middle. Plus! Can't go wrong with Jeff Goldblum in it. And HEY! In the 20 years he has been detesting this dino park, they sorta listen to him this time. I wish there was more of him though, I had hoped he would have had some interaction with the main characters. Hopefully as JW continues, we may see more of Jeff and maybe more of the original JP characters and park. Either way, can’t say this is my favorite Jurassic movie. It has good moments, but I’d still stick to the first JP and JW. Blue (Velociaptor) and Rexy (T-Rex) (characters) © "2015-2018" (Jurassic World 1 & 2) J.A. Bayone, Colin Trevorrow, Frank Marshall, Patrick Crowley, Steven Speilberg, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Derek Connolly (based on the novel by: Michael Crichton) (Amblin Entertainment, Legendary Pictures & Universal Pictures ™ ) OTHER REFERENCES & LOGO'S ARE COPYRIGHTED © & TRADEMARKED ™ TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNER, PRODUCTION, COMPANY & STUDIO wolfjedisamuel © 18

#jurassic world #Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom #wolfjedisamuel #spoof #parody #t-rex #tyranosaurus rex #blue the raptor #velociraptor

[darknessfactor]

You can all probably infer, based on the posts I’ve been reblogging, that I’m not a fan of The Last Jedi.  No, I have not actually seen in.  No, I don’t plan to, not until we get close enough to Episode IX that seeing it becomes a necessity rather than a pleasure.  You’re welcome to dismiss what I’m about to say based on that, if you like.  By ‘dismiss’, however, I mean you can ignore me; please don’t leave some smartass reply that sounds like, “But how could you know that if you haven’t seen the movie?”

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way... 

I’m going to come right out and say it: I have been uneasy about the direction that Star Wars has taken for almost a year now.  The changes in directors, the revelations about what kind of person Kathleen Kennedy is... it all has made me tense up, has made my excitement for the franchise die down considerably.  It got to the point that, about a month before TLJ came out, my interest in Star Wars was at an all time low.  I couldn’t have cared less.  

Finn has been repeatedly excluded from marketing.  If that doesn’t make you uneasy... you may want to re-examine your priorities.

We also had the news, many months ago, that Mark Hamill disagreed with Rian Johnson about how Luke was written.  That raised my hackles as well.  Of course, he went along with it, because it’s his job and he’s a professional actor.  I relaxed when he later said, “I was, as I often am, wrong!”

Here’s the thing, though: actors lie.  They’re not allowed to give negative opinions about films they’re starring in when the film is still being promoted.  So while I might have relaxed a bit, that didn’t mean I wasn’t still wary.  Then, of course, there was the news that the Solo directors were leaving, and then that Colin Trevorrow was leaving.  You have to wonder at the stability of a franchise when so many things seem to be going wrong.

Now: when the critics posted their reviews for The Last Jedi, I was relieved immensely.  Generally, I agree with critics assessments.  The only major time I differed was with Batman V Superman (which I loved).  Even then, however - even then, I felt that tiny seed of uneasiness - and one of these days, I should just trust my instincts, because they’re almost always proven right.

That seed of unease drove me to find out spoilers.  And now the big part, and the whole point of this post (this is a very personal thing, so you can argue with me if you like, but it’s not really something that’s debatable for me):

The Last Jedi did not let down my expectations, as many critics are saying of the naysayers.  No.  What the Last Jedi did was confirm my fears.

Sound bad?  That’s because it is.  It is that bad for me.

I really had no idea where they would take Star Wars after TFA.  I loved that movie.  It had its issues - lack of worldbuilding being the biggest for me (we have almost zero context about what the galaxy is like except the First Order is like the Empire and there’s a new Republic) - but the new characters were lovely, and it was fun to watch.  I thought, “Wow!  If the first movie was this good, I can’t wait to see what happens next!”

However, there were a few things that I didn’t want to happen.  You may call this a preference.  I suppose it is.  But considering what year it is and everything that has happened with our government and society, I feel that it’s more relevant than most people like to believe.

In other words, these are my fears.  At the time, they seemed so absurd - because really, would Disney do any of these things?  After TFA, I assumed that it would be obvious to Rian Johnson and Disney that doing any of these things would just be a bad idea.

Surely they wouldn’t focus on Kylo Ren as a sympathetic character - after he murdered his own father, brutalized Finn, and condoned the deaths of millions after Starkiller destroyed the Hosnian system?

But look what happened.

Surely they wouldn’t use unnecessary physical violence, as well as verbal belittlement, against their characters of color?  Surely their storylines would be just as meaningful as Rey’s, as Finn is also a lead character?

But look what happened.

Surely Disney and RJ would have taken cues from TFA, and kept characterization and story arcs consistent, trying their best to avoid plot holes and tell a complete story?

But look what happened.

Surely Disney wouldn’t write Rey as being romantically or sexually attracted to Kylo Ren, after J.J. Abrams outright said that the interrogation scene was a metaphor for rape, and after Rey proved to be such a strong character in TFA?

But look what happened.

These are the big ones, and this isn’t even counting the stuff that happened that I didn’t even think to be afraid of.  Amilyn Holdo is heavily implied to be bisexual in one of the novels, so we can now count ‘bury your gays’ among the fears that I didn’t even think of.  The plot itself is messy and doesn’t go anywhere, except to destroy/kill nearly everyone in the resistance and to kill off Snoke so that Kylo Ren becomes Supreme Leader.  Poe Dameron was belittled and mocked by Holdo for wanting to know the plan and being reasonably upset that Holdo won’t tell him.  And there are people out there crying ‘feminism’.  

Here’s the other thing: we live in a society that is steadily getting worse.  Our very rights are being stripped from us.  People are dying because they don’t have access to healthcare.  The US is not the only country with fascism on the rise.  And The Last Jedi, a movie that does not exist in a vacuum, no matter how many people will insist that it’s ‘just a movie’, shows us that the group we’re supposed to root for - the Resistance - is dying, with almost all their leaders being killed, with no help on the way from other parts of the galaxy, with the First Order going strong.  

Star Wars is, on top of everything else, about hope.  It’s about love.  But I see none of that in this movie.  I see the characters I love being taken apart, being torn down, until there’s almost nothing left to hope for.  I see good people dying in a Game of Thrones-esque massacre, as the situation just continues to get worse and worse.  If I wanted that kind of negativity, I’d actually watch Game of Thrones.  

Before you argue and talk about Rose’s line to Finn, or the children at the end of the movie who use the Force: that would be a violation of this little thing I like to call “show, don’t tell”.  It’s harder for me to believe because it was told to me, not shown.

The fact of the matter is, The Last Jedi is the very last movie I need to see right now.  And you can laugh at me all you like, but I actually cried upon reading the spoilers.  Not in a good way.

Call me what you want.  Call me a whiny little bitch.  Call me salty and laugh as you drink my tears.  That’s fine.  This post isn’t meant for you, anyway.  

#amaya talks crap #anti-tlj #star wars #tlj critical #i wrote all this but it still somehow feels like it's barely scratching the surface #i'm not saying people can't respond #you can! #but just be aware that you likely won't be able to change my mind #case in point: i'm crying as i write this #star wars negativity #tlj negativity

[lizacstuff]

7x04 Anons

I have a ton of asks so I’ll answer a few under the cut.  A lot of them deal with negativity over the ep and season so be warned and don’t click if you don’t want to read that.

Anonymous said:Liza, have you watched tonight's episode? What did you think of the Rumbelle send off? And of Alice being Roger's daughter?

I had zero emotional reaction to Rumbelle’s story in this episode. None. It’s been too toxic and gross and I have never really cared about it so it didn’t make me feel anything at all. I was curious what they were going to do. Now I know. 

As far as Alice being WishHook’s daughter. Eh. So they take the only interesting character and now she’s a fake Wish person too?  I just can’t with this nonsense. I’m having  a lot of problems with WishHook, so I’m not thrilled she’s tied to his story. 

Colin is still hot and an awesome human being and a terrific actor, but the plot... it’s a no for me.

Anonymous said:Sometimes I think Adam and Eddy believe they are the most clever people to ever write, and that everyone else are simple minded peasants. Like that one post-7x04 interview where the interviewer asked if Alice is wish Hook's daughter. "You're very perceptive." Uh, no, Adam and Eddy. You just have all the subtlety of a freight train. You had Alice and Rogers play chess. Wish Hook and his daughter played chess. It's obvious. Don't talk to people like they're stupid for figuring the obvious out.

This show has always been pretty obvious about some things, but they used to pull off some twists. I remember a time when fan speculation was way more wrong than it is right.  

However, season 7 is just really obvious in terms of some of the “big twists.”  Take Alice being the LGBT character, the entire fandom speculated that from the first second she appeared in shooting spoilers based on stereotypes. I have been hoping it’s not her because of those stereotypes, but nope! They had no surprises up their sleeve with it. Then most people immediately assumed she was Roger’s daughter the second we found out he had one... and apparently no twist there either. 

I guess the days of the entire fandom being shocked by finding out Hook is the Dark One and Dark Swan did everything for Hook... are over. 

Of course we should have known this reboot lost all subtlety in the second episode when everyone and their mother kept asking Henry if he was in love with the random woman he just met.  

Anonymous said:I know the promo pics didn't spell anything good for Belle, but I'm still surprised that they actually had her die. I kept thinking that there would be some twist to it.

As I was just saying... no twists, no turns. It’s exactly as everyone predicted. 

Anonymous said:I didn't watch the ep, but shit Henry and ivy have so much more chemistry than the other girl. Cinderella I think lol damn talk about epic romance also I saw comments that also agree with the Henry and ivy

If you haven’t watched how do you know they have more chemistry?  Seriously, that’s kind of ridiculous. What are you basing that on?

Anonymous said:ouat is a weird show, it requires you to pay really pay attention but not to close of attention or you will notice all the plot holes

100% accurate.  This reboot is creating so many more plot holes with all the magic mcguffins that are suddenly in play.  I guess you either have to accept it and go along for the ride, or recognize it for what it is. 

Anonymous said:hey liza, who are your favourite characters from the new cast? some of them don’t really impress me but i quite like ivy and tilly.

Both of those characters have some interesting aspects to them.  It may have a lot to do with the performers.  I haven’t been impressed with Gabriel, Dania or Mekia’s choices so far, but Adelaide and Rose have interesting screen presence. 

Anonymous said:Drizella really is a Mean Girls version of Regina. I'm between finding her general attitude annoying and finding her somewhat sympathetic considering she has to deal with Tremaine all day.

You mean Regina when she was a girl and under Cora’s thumb?  I could see that comparison.  Lets hope Drizella doesn’t follow in Regina’s footsteps and become the mass murdering rapist in town.

Anonymous said:Did Rumbelle build the house in Storybrooke?

Um... I’m not sure I understand this question.  In the show I believe that Up-inspired cabin where they were living isolated from everything and everyone else (do people really find that a happy ending?) was in the edge of realms. 

Anonymous said:I'm almost mad that we got to see more of Belle and Rumple's story than we did of Captain Swan. We all know they are living their happy ending but it would still be wonderful to see a little clip of Emma sitting on the beach with their daughter waiting for Killian to show up and join their picnic. Just some good ole domestic Captain Swan on scene would make me so happy. *sigh*

I have a number of anons like this, and just NOPE.  

First, we did not see more of Rumbelle than CS on this show.  Rumbelle was a backburner story that was most often characterized as a cautionary tale of abuse and manipulation and the pair were mostly apart and had very little focus through the run of the series. 

The showrunners decided that going forward they needed viewers to feel good about Belle and RB so after making them a gross, toxic mess for seasons now (it was just last year that Rumple was fucking the Evil Queen while Belle ran and hid for her life as he stalked and threatened her) they gave fans a bunch of twee scenes of her growing old (a life she lived isolated from everyone but two people) and dying in order to get rid of her and give Rumple motivation for this idiotic S7.

You’re jealous of that? Seriously? Fuck no. 

Also you need to understand that 7.02 and 7.04 were very different episodes.  7.02 was still really Henry's story and a moment in time where he called for help and got to see his parents for a few minutes and we all found out that Emma and Hook are doing great and gonna have a baby and living a blissfully happy life together.  It was just a check in where it was confirmed for us that Operation Happy Beginning has been a success and things are amazing. Also it spun off WishHook and completely separated the plot of S7 away from CS.  7.04 was 100% Rumple plot and his story. It explained why he's there and what is motivating him in Hyperion Heights.  Very different.  For 7.02, CS were not the focus because they didn’t need to be. Nothing in S7 requires knowing exactly what is going to happen to them minute by minute.  I'll take less screen time and my OTP being completely disentangled from this mess any day of the week.

Anonymous said:Lol my jealousy of Rumbelle having more focus than CS has dropped to 0%, that episode was eh. CS is expecting a baby, and Belle is dead after spending her life trying to fix rumple's. Nice.

Yep.  Look, I’m happy for any fans of Rumple or Belle that are happy about this episode and found peace in Belle’s life, but the writers did too much damage to this pairing over the years for me to care about it at all. 

Anonymous said:While I can't stand rumbelle I feel for the shippers. They did get some happy scenes but their ship is going to spend the rest of the season apart and in pain until the half alive dies.

Yeah... I would not like that, I don’t think. It’s just kind of creepy and icky and ew-ey. However, to each her own.  

Anonymous said:Agreed with that anon, there some good moments, but this was definitely not even close to one of the best episodes of the series. I have to respectfully disagree with Colin on this one. (Actually season 7 in its entirety lol)

Oh dear sweet Colin. Just trying to do his job.  So many cast and crew and media have shot their hyperbolic wad with this episode. Calling it the best EVER!!!!!  What will they say for the rest of the season?  “This is the second best episode EVER!!!!!” Or will they keep one upping every time they have to promote an ep?

No one with an economic interest in S7 can be trusted when talking about the quality of this season (and I include Mitovich and NA in that.) 

Anonymous said:I didn't watch the episode but I'm curious: are we supposed to believe that when Belle dies Emma and Killian are old too or was there some timeline glitch and Emma and Killian are still young in Storybrooke at the time of HH events? 

Who knows. Belle and Rumple were off living at the Edge of Realms for the last years of her life.  Rumple said something about time standing still there except for Belle??? I think. (my mind kept wandering duiring those scenes becuse they were so boring) Then after she died he opened a portal thingy to go to the time and place where the Guardian (the deux ex machina that is going to cure him of the Dark One curse) lives and Rumple was then transported to the newEF (that looks exactly like the old, I mean couldn’t they have given this new storybook’s fairy tale land some stylistic differences???)  on the night of Cinderella’s Ball and we see Henry drive by on his motorcycle. 

So yes, I think some of the flashforwards could have been from far in the future, and some could have been not all that distant because they were in a weird realm with weird time mechanics. 

However, I think Rumple and Belle left Storybrooke well before Henry did (they talk about it at Gideon’s first birthday and Henry still would have been about 14 at that time) so by the time this Hyperion Heights stuff is happening they would have been off in Fairy Tale land “traveling?” (ie living their lives in dusty libraries searching books for a way to cure Rumple.)

It hurts ones head to try to sort it all out. 

Anonymous said:After watching this episode, all I think is how sad it is how far this show gone from greatness. Going back 3 years, I would’ve never imagined ouat would be like this now. Sorry for being dramatic, it’s all just so jarring.

I think one of the most unfortunate things about this is that I really think OUAT could have been a valuable and viable franchise for years to come.  However, they tried to reboot it too soon.  As I’ve said since last spring, I think it would have been much better to let it rest a year or two and then come back with 10-13 episode event series for ABC.  

However, this experiment will probably negate any opportunity for that.

Anonymous said:I think it's a little sad that in real time, Belle died like 5-10 years after the s6 finale. I know it was longer for her but to everyone else that knew her, it'd be like she died young.

Yep. I’m not sure if in Hyperion Heights or Storybrooke in 2017 if Belle is dead, dead, or still living out her life at the edge of realms or wherever and Rumple traveled back in time???  

I don’t know. 

Anonymous said:Do you think killing Belle off is going to decrease the ratings more?

Nope. If ratings do decrease, I don’t think that will have been a factor.

Anonymous said:They lost viewers even with the episode they promoted the most wow 

They did and yes, other than the premiere, this has been the most promoted episode.  As I’ve said since the premiere, ep 5 ratings should be the most telling. I’m guessing that will be the baseline for the rest of the half season. At that point anyone in the audience who was just curious if they would preserve our favorites happy endings from the first 6 season will know and there won’t be a bump from that.  We’ll see. 

#ouat negativity #asklizac #ouat 7x04 #ouat 7.04 #ouat s7 #anonymous

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Jan. 24, 2020 – THE GENTLEMEN, THE TURNING, THE LAST FULL MEASURE

If you read last week’s column, you’ll already know that I’m no longer with The Beat, so I’ll more than likely be doing all of my box office stuff here for a while. I just won’t promise to write so much about each movie as I did in my Box Office Preview, because a.) I don’t have time, and b.) I’m not getting paid to write this. Sorry if that’s a bit too blatantly honest, but getting paid for my writing matters to me, especially having done it for 25 years.

Before I forget, tonight, Wednesday, January 22, I’m hosting a 30thanniversary screening of Brain Dead, the freaky thriller starring Bills Pullman and Paxton, Bud Cort and George Kennedy. If you’re looking to check out crazy mind-fuck of a movie from 1990, there are still a few tickets left.

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing I didn’t get paid for last week’s column cause I way, way, WAY underestimated the power of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence to bring in audiences after 17 years since Bad Boys II. I thought the movie would make somewhere between $35 and 40 million over the four-day weekend, but it ended up making almost $60 million just over the three-day weekend, and $73 million for the four day, the second best after American Sniper. Obviously, Sony is already developing a fourth movie in the series and presumably they won’t wait another 18 years. Personally, I really liked Bad Boys for Life, as it was way better than Bad Boys II and it was a generally enjoyable and entertaining action-comedy.

Universal’s Dolittlealso did more than I predicted, but it wasn’t as vastly different, just closer to my original prediction last Wednesday before I thought I might be overestimating and lowered it. Waugh, Waugh…

Let’s get to this week…

The movie I’m most excited about this week is THE GENTLEMEN (STXfilms), which is Guy Ritchie’s return to ensemble crime comedy after his foray into large-scale Disney adaptations like Aladdin, which I quite liked, and his “Sherlock Holmes” movies, the first of which I also loved.  Ritchie has a great cast for this one including Matthew McConaughey, Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell, Hugh Grant, Henry Golding (from Crazy Rich Asians and the underrated 2019 film Last Christmas), Michelle Dockery (from Downton Abbey) and one of my favorite character actors, Eddie Marsan! Honestly, I don’t know very much else about the movie (as I’m only seeing it on Monday night) but I loved what I saw at CinemaCon last year, and I’ve just been such a huge Ritchie fan going all the way back to Lock, Stock and Two Smokin’ Barrels. (Sadly, I wasn’t able to interview him for this movie due to my other part-time job, but you’ll get an actual review instead!)  Also, I think the movie will do decently but probably not more than $10 million since STX is dropping it into around 2,000 theaters, which isn’t particularly wide.

Mini-Review: Back in the late ‘90s, when Guy Ritchie first made his big debut with Lock, Stock, he was coming on the tail end of a new breed of directors like Tarantino and Smith who proved that screenplay-driven ensemble movies could deliver big audiences. In the time since then, Tarantino has gotten bigger and bigger for that feat, while Ritchie has tried a lot of different things, including last year’s Aladdin.

It’s pretty exciting to see Ritchie returning to the world of crime and to jolly old England with the addition of a few Americans like Matthew McConaughey as mega-wealthy drugdealer Mickey Pearson, who has turned his upper-class connections quite literally into a farm industry. Mickey is ready to sell the business, hoping to get $400 million from Jeremy Strong’s interested investor.

The story is told through a framing sequence involving a strange character named Fletcher, played by Hugh Grant, having an extended conversation with Charlie Hunnam’s Ray, Mickey’s “fixer,” of sorts. It’s another fantastic performance by Grant that really allows him to push the envelope with a heavy cockney accent. Another great performance comes from Colin Farrell as the coach of a group of young and bratty MMA fighers who break into one of Mickey’s farms.

Using this storytelling method, Ritchie doesn’t give his entire hand away at once, instead revealing just what’s necessary to keep the viewer tuned in. The film features another witty script and it’s thoroughly entertaining, although it’s also somewhat confounding at times trying to keep track of all the characters and how they relate.

In that sense, The Gentlemen is slightly flawed, but it’s also a welcome return for Ritchie to do what he does best, and there’s no denying that there’s quite a bit to enjoy here. Rating: 7/10

The third horror movie of January (with another one next week!) is THE TURNING (Universal), a horror take on Henry James’ novel “The Turn of the Screw,” starring Mackenzie Davis (Terminator: Dark Fate), Finn Wolfhard (It) and the adorable Brooklynn Prince from The Florida Project. The basic premise involves a nanny played by Davis, who is brought to an enormous mansion to care for two kids. Once there, she is told by the kids that there are dark forces in the house, and she starts to believe them.  I had a chance to speak to the film’s director, Floria Sigismondi, an amazing visual artist whose only previous feature film was The Runaways, starring Kristen Stewart.  The movie is also written by the Hayes Brothers, who wrote the original The Conjuring, and produced by Roy Lee (The Conjuring and It), so there’s quite a decent pedigree for this movie. I also conducted a great interview with Ms. Sigismondi that you can check out on Next Best Picture.

As the third horror movie this month, I’m not sure this can deliver where the previous two (The Grudge and Underwater) failed, especially without much star power, but because it’s January, and there’s very little else to do, it can probably make $8 to 10 million in its 2,500 theaters.

Opening in moderate release this weekend  (theater count TBD) is filmmaker Todd Robinson’s THE LAST FULL MEASURE (Roadside Attractions), a military drama that the director has been trying to make for a decade. He’s pulled together an amazing cast that includes Christopher Plummer, Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris, Diane Ladd, Sebastian Stan, Bradley Whitford, Peter Fonda, William Hurt, Jeremy Irvine and Michael Imperioli. I still remember Robinson mentioning this project when I spoke to him for his excellent movie Lonely Heartswhen we spoke for ComingSoon.netway back in 2007, having seen that movie at the Tribeca Film Festival.

It involves a group of Vietnam vets trying to get a brave soldier, Airman William H. Pitsenberger Jr. (played by Irvine), the Medal of Honor for his actions on the battlefield to save them 34 years after his death. It sounds like a terrific premise, so it’s a movie I’ve been waiting to see for a very long time.  I’m not sure exactly how many theaters Roadside Attractions will release the movie into, but I doubt it will be enough to get it into the top 10, as I think it will end up making $2 to 3 million at best. (This probably would have been a good movie to release over Veterans’ Day, but I guess it was afraid of Roland Emmerich’s Midway, which did end up winning that weekend.)

Mini-Review: It’s pretty obvious what a passion project this must have been for filmmaker Todd Robinson from the time it’s taken for him to get this movie made, but once watch how this story plays out, it’s much more obvious why he was so driven. Even fifty years after the events depicted in the film’s Vietnam War flashback

It’s 1999, and Sebastian Stan plays Scott Huffman, an Air Force attorney working at the Pentagon who is assigned the duty of investigating the heroics of Airman William H. Pitsenberger Jr., who dropped into one of the bloodiest battles of the Vietnam War to save a number of soldiers. William Hurt plays Tulley, the soldier that comes to Huffman, although the lawyer tries to put him off due to the upcoming regime change. Against his will, Scott has to pursue this endeavor, so he goes to interview a number of the living men who were there on that fateful day.

What’s amazing about Robinson’s film is that while it focuses mainly on Stan’s character, the various actors he meets on his journey deliver some absolutely amazing performances, from Christopher Plummer (as the dead airman’s dying father), Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris and the late Peter Fonda.

At its worst, The Last Full Measure veers into TV movie melodrama, so it takes some of the stronger actors to drag it back. The worst example of this are the scenes between Stan and his ersatz family, which seems the most like needless scenes added to create some sort of artistic license. It probably will be little surprise that many of the names and circumstances have been changed for similar reason.

It’s a shame that Roadside Attractions doesn’t have enough faith in this movie to give this a bigger push, instead dumping it into a January weekend with little fanfare. Sure, this is certainly the type of movie that cynical film critics like tearing apart, trying to find faults over the good…. And there’s a lot of good to be had. There’s no denying that this is an important story that needs to be told, and hopefully, the audiences that might appreciate it will be able to find it. Rating: 7.5/10

What should be interesting to see if the horror film The Turning does well enough to surpass Dolittle for third place or falls just short. Either way, Universal will have three movies in the top 5, which is quite remarkable considering what a horrid December the studio had.

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $29.5 million -53%

2. 1917 (Universal) - $13 million -41% (up 1 million)*

3. Dolittle (Universal) - $10.1 million -54%

4. The Turning (Universal) - $9.3 million N/A (up .2 million)*

5. The Gentlemen (STXfilms) - $8.6 million N/A (up .1 million)*

6. Jumanji: The Next Level  (Sony) - $5 million -48%

7. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Lucasfilm/Disney) - $4 million -52%

8. Little Women (Sony)  - $3.5 million -45%

9. Just Mercy (Warner Bros.) - $3.1 million -47%

10. Knives Out  (Lionsgate) - $2.6 million -40%

- The Last Full Measure (Roadside Attractions) - $2 million N/A (down .5 million)*

* UPDATE: Not a ton of changes but mainly a little bit of tweaking due to revised theater counts

LIMITED RELEASES

Not a ton of limited releases of note that I’ve seen, although I did see Richard Stanley’s sci-fi thriller COLOR OUT OF SPACE (RLJE Films), starring the one and only Nicolas Cage, and I even spoke to Stanley, an interview you’ll be able to read on Next Best Picturehopefully later this week. It’s based on HP Lovecraft’s short story, and in the movie, Cage plays an Alpaca farmer whose family is affected by a meteorite that falls on the property, causing all sorts of bizarre changes both mentally and physically. It’s another movie where Cage can go a little nuts, but I also liked the performances by Madeleine Arthur and Joely Richardson, who ALSO appears in The Turning this weekend. There are also some smaller roles from Q’orianka Kilcher (from Malick’s The New World) and the great comic, Tommy Chong.  There will be a special screening tonight in select cities with a satellite QnA with Stanley and Cage, and then it opens for real Friday. Being RLJE, it should be On Demand shortly afterwards.

Oddly, I haven’t seen any of the movies in the franchise that brings us DETECTIVE CHINATOWN 3  (Wanda Pictures/WB International), but the previous installments of director Sicheng Chen’s police action-comedy must have done well enough for people to want to see more of detectives Tang Ren (Baoquiang Wang) and Qin Feng (Haoran Liu) to get a third movie. The first movie made $120.6 million worldwide while the sequel made $544 million, so yeah, a third movie was inevitable. The sequel made less than $2 million domestically but one can expect that Chinese audiences in America will help the third movie do similarly. For comparison, the latest installment of the Ip Man franchise, starring Donny Yen, has grossed $3.5 million in North America. This will open in about 150 theaters.

Sadly, I also didn’t get a chance to see Dante Lam’s The Rescue (CMC Pictures), the Chinese filmmaker’s follow-up to his global blockbuster Operation Red Sea, before writing this column, but this is clearly one of the major Chinese tentpoles being released for the Lunar New Year movie season. It stars Eddie Peng from Operation Mekong as the captain of an elite rescue team, and it’s shot by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Oscar-winning cinematographer Peter Pau.  I’m hoping to see it this coming Friday.

Terry Crews stars as John Henry (Saban/Paramount) in Will Forbes, in this case Henry being an ex-gang member who puts aside his life of violence to take care of his aging father (played by Ken Foree from Dawn of the Dead )in South L.A. where he meets two immigrant kids on the run from his former gang leader (Ludacris), putting him in a tough spot. It will open in select cities and On Demand this Friday.

Bertrand Bonello, who made the excellent Nocturama a few weeks back, returns with his eighth feature Zombi Child (Film Movement), which is a very different take on the genre.  It draws from the true story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was reportedly zombified in 1962 Haiti, this one centering around Narcisse’s (fictional) orphaned granddaughter who is trying to fit in with the mostly white girls at her boarding school. It will open in New York at the Quad Cinemaand at Lincoln Center.

Lastly, there’s the Bollywood film Panga (FIP) from director Ashwiny Iyer Tiwari, starring Kangana Ranaut as a middle-class Indian woman and former kabaddiworld champion looking for new meaning as a wife and mother, who decides to return to the sport despite her age and responsibility to family. It will open in roughly 100 theaters.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Opening Friday at the Metrograph is the 1stU.S. release of the director’s cut of Jia Zhangke’s 2010 documentary I Wish I Knew,which looks at the past and present of Shanghai in a documentary full of interviews with people from all different walks of life including local actresses and fellow filmmaker Hou Hsiao-hsien. It also follows Zhangke’s favorite actress Zhao Tao, who was amazing in last year’s Ash is Purest White, as she explores the site of the Shanghai World Expo Park as it’s under construction. It’s a great film to learn more about the history of mainland China, something I greatly appreciated having been such a longtime inhabitant of Chinatown.

Even more exciting is that the Metrograph is starting a retrospective series for indie filmmaker Hal Hartleythis Friday, which is exciting since I’ve been such a big fan but haven’t seen nearly as many of his films as there are out there, having only seen his debut The Unbelievable Truth (1989) a few years back, also at the Metrograph. Hal Hartley will be at the Metrograph this Friday night, January 24, and then back on February 1 for screenings of Henry Fool (1997) and its 2006 sequel, Fay Grim. This weekend, you can see Trust from 1990, Simple Men (1992), 1994’s Amateur and more.

With the nomination of Julia Reichert and Steven Bonar’s American Factory receiving an Oscar nomination, Metrograph has put together a last-minute series, “The Academy-Nominated Films of Julia Reichert and Steven Bognar,” a program of three shorts including the 2009 short The Last Truck(shown with American Factory), 1976’s Union Maids and 1971’s Growing Up Female, and the 2006 miniseries A Lion in the House.

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph  is the Jackie Chan action classic Police Story (1985). Oops, I made a little error as Playtime: Family Matinees, was supposed to be Taika Waititi’s 2016 film The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, but it got changed to Peter Weir’s 1989 movie Dead Poets Society, starring Robin Williams, which is also quite good.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Besides tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” of Brain Dead (1990), they’re doing a Troop Beverly Hills “Quote-Along” tomorrow night. If that isn’t good enough, on Monday, you can see the Lonely Island’s amazing Popstar: Never Stop Stopping either as part of the monthly “Out of Tune” hosted by my pal Jeremy Wein at 7pm or at 9:30 as a Sing-Along, well except that both are very close to sold out. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the Japanese horror classic Ringu (1998) (I’ll be there) and then “Weird Wednesday” is 1979’s Killer Nun.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Wednesday’s “Afternoon Classics” is Ernest Borgnine’s 1955 film Marty, and then Weds. and Thurs’ night’s double feature is Bob & Carol & Ted & Aliceand Jacques Demy’s Model Shop, both from 1969. Friday’s “Freaky Friday”… um… “Afternoon Classics” is the 1985 vampire thriller Fright Night, and Friday night’s midnight screening is Tarantino’s Django Unchained. (The Saturday midnight screening of Scorsese’s Goodfellasis already sold out.) The weekend’s “Kiddee Matinee” is Miyazaki’s How’s Moving Castleand then the Monday Matinee is the 1971 thriller Klute. (Most of the weekend evening slots are taken up by Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood, just to make sure all the Oscar voters have a chance to see it in the next couple weeks.) Monday and Tuesday night is a Henry Hathaway double feature of The Lives of a Bengal Lancer(1935) and The Trailer of the Lonesome Pine (1936).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

While the “Black Women: Trailblazing African American Performers & Images, 1920 – 2001” continues this weekend with the 1934 and 1959 iterations of Imitation of Life, as well as screenings of What’s Love Got To Do with It, the Tina Turner biopic starring Angela Basset, who received an Oscar nomination for it, and then the Film Forum Jr. screening is The Wiz, starring Michael Jackson and Donna Summer. Other movies in the series include Cleopatra Jones, Gone with the Wind and Spike Lee’s debut She’s Gotta Have it. Film Forum is also doing a special Homage to Anna Karenina, the late Jean-Luc Godard muse who starred in many of his classics including Band of Outsiders, Alphaville, Pierrot Le Fou, plus six other films will be screened beginning Wednesday and through January 30. On Sunday, Film Forum is showing Lee Grant’s 2005 documentary A Father … a Son … Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, which is about Kirk and Michael Douglas with Grant in person doing a QnA. The theater will also screen William Wyler’s 1951 film Detective Story, which stars Grant on Sunday and next Tuesday.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

This weekend begins “Cinematic Void 2020” with the Friday selection being Dario Argento’s The Cat O’Nine Tails (1971), followed on Saturday by a 5-movie Giallo Marathon, including Argento’s Opera(1987), Bava’s A Blade in the Dark (1983), Fulci’s The Black Cat  (1981), and two more. Joe Dantewill be on Sunday for his 16mm Spotlight, showing 1972’s Richard. This week’s “Sunday Print Edition” is Carol Reed’s Night Train to Munich(1940) in 35mm in the afternoon and then Richard Benjamin and Dyan Cannon will be on hand to discuss the amazing 1973 thriller The Last of Sheila, one of my favorite movies.

AERO  (LA):

Besides a matinee screening of Scorsese’s Goodfellas on Thursday (free to Cinemateque members), the AERO begins a “Ford Vs.” series with a double feature of John Ford’s The Quiet Man  (1952) with Sam Peckinpah’s classic Straw Dogs (1971). Friday is Ford’ sStagecoach(1939) with Kelly Reichardt’s Meek’s Cutoff  (2010). Saturday at 9AM, you can watch a triple-feature of Toy Story, Toy Story 2 and Toy Story 3, and then in the afternoon, the AERO will show Toy Story 4 with guests. That’s a full day of Toy Story viewing! Saturday night’s “Ford Vs.” is Ford’s The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance with Akira Kurosawa’s Sanjuro, both from 1962. Sunday night’s double is Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in the West  (1968) with Ford’s My Darling Clementine (1946). Tuesday’s Scorsese matinee is his debut Mean Streets.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

You can still catch a few of the movies in the lead-up to Bonello’s Zombi Child with another screening of I Walked with a Zombie on Weds. night, as well as De Palma’s Carrie and the Extended Director’s Cut of The Exorcist on Thursday.

MOMA  (NYC):

Modern Matinees: Jack Lemmon will present the classic Billy Wilder film Some Like It Hot  (1959) on Wednesday, Black Edwards’ The Great Race (1965) on Thursday and 1968’s The Odd Couple on Friday. 

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This week’s Weekend Classics: Luis Buñuelwill screen a double feature of the classic short Un Chien Andalou (1929) with the doc L’Age D’or (1930) while Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020s will screen Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men and Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020goes with Argento’s Suspiria… again.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Saturday, there will be a “Texas Chainsaw Double Feature” of the first two movies from 1974 and 1986 as part of the “Disreputable Series.” Also, the museum continues to screen Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey as part of its exhibition.

ROXY CINEMA(NYC)

The Nicolas Cage love continues on Weds. with Martin Scorsese’s 1999 movie Brinigng Out the Dead, and then on Saturday, Bottleneck Gallery will screen 1987’s The Monster Squad and 1986’s Night of the Creeps.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Friday’s night’s midnight movie is John Carpenter’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Christine (1983).

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

The New York Jewish Film Festival continues through next week so no rep stuff.

STREAMING AND CABLE

On Sunday, Netflix will stream the first season of Fast and Furious: Spy Racers, which I have little to no interest in. I have a little more interest in Star Trek: Picard, which will begin streaming on CBS All Access on Thursday.

That’s it for this week. Next weekend is the Super Bowl, but that’s not gonna stop the releases of Gretel and Hansel(U.A. Releasing) and Blake Lively’s The Rhythm Section (Pararamount).

#TheWeekendWarrior Movies Reviews TheGentlemen GuyRItchie TheTurning TheLastFullMeasure BoxOffice

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: 2019 Training Camp Opens

Hockey is back! This offseason was a little bit slimmer on the back end than last year, phrasing intended; so the gap of time created by Hockey-less August felt much more oppressive. Earlier this week in the blog on the Prospect Tournament I waxed on poetically about how it’s harder to get excited for the Sabres this season. We’re probably looking at a less that 50% chance this team qualifies for the playoffs this season. Between the completion of the Prospect tournament and the arrival of Training Camp, my Sabres heart has come thundering back to life this week. That’s a huge relief considering the aforementioned difficulty seeing this club make the playoffs this season given its current roster construction. More good news: Training Camp narratives are not in short supply! Last year we celebrated competition at Training Camp as a long-awaited sign the team was turning a corner. Perhaps it was still the residual haze of the Jeff Skinner trade washing over us, but something was new about this club going into last year. This year still features a lot of competition for roster spots, Thank God, but this time around it requires a little bit more creative thinking to see how different players raise up the club overall. Last year both of Jeff Skinner and Conor Sheary were upgrades on the left wing no matter how you cut it. In the same way Rasmus Dahlin was a huge upgrade, even as a rookie, on defense. As the players filed into the building for their physicals yesterday and engaged in media day it may be helpful for us to look at Training Camp competition positionally this Preseason. While the new pieces and therefore the tighter competition for fewer roster spots came in the forward corps last year, this go around the change is much more obvious on defense… hopefully.

The big X factor I see in this year’s Training Camp is the guy behind the bench. Ralph Krueger returns to NHL coaching with the Buffalo Sabres six years after an Edmonton Oilers organization in even more chaos than the current version let him go. For someone looking at Krueger’s history for hints at how he’ll coach and deploy players it’s like he’s a super-electable politician: he’s more or less what you want him to be. In other words, he’s something of an empty glass you put your values in. The buzzwords that orbited around him in the early summer when he was hired were communication and flexibility. We were teased about that flexibility a couple days ago when he said this Training Camp will see the players pick what positions they’re fighting for a spot in. More on that later. After firing a Head Coach who was only consistently inconsistent with his roster deployment, General Manager Jason Botterill opted for someone in Krueger who maybe more of a chameleon. The last three coaches of the Sabres, two of which who are still being paid to not coach the team, were problematic in large part because they were too rigid in their systems and didn’t allow the skill players to be skilled in game situations. Phil Housley was moderately better than Dan Blysma on that front but all shit stinks, right? Ralph Krueger is going to let his butterflies fly and rigid is certainly not a word to describe him in anyway. Beyond that however it’s hard to say what exactly his style and decision-making will look like come Opening Night. He’s the biggest wildcard this preseason and maybe also once the games mean something in the regular season.

Unlike in past seasons this year we find ourselves with a rare logjam on the blueline. There are too many good defenseman on the Sabres depth chart! That was such a weird sentence to write! While at least three of Brandon Montour, Marco Scandella, Zach Bogosian and Lawrence Pilut will start the season in the Press Box nursing injuries, only two of those guys will the average Sabres fan be dying to see get back on the ice. Rasmus Ristolainen and Marco Scandella are two players you want off this club pretty soon for very different reasons. Ristolainen is likely traded for just not being up to par in the advanced stats categories the modern game requires of its defenseman. It was hilarious but encouraging to hear Risto acknowledge his defensive game needs some work yesterday. If he is on this roster Opening Night let’s hope we see the effort pay off. Marco Scandella on the other hand is, to put it creatively, a crater full of trash. Those two players, on the right and left sides of defense respectively, are jamming up the pipes for a handful of really awesome pieces fighting for roster spots. Colin Miller was acquired via trade with the hope he could be a good shutdown-defenseman on the second or first pairing depending on how optimistic you are. He probably makes the roster below the pairing he deserves. On the younger side Brandon Montour and Henri Jokiharju are poised for breakout seasons if they’re given the right opportunities. You could argue Montour could single-handedly be the difference maker on whether this club is close to that playoff line or not come April. Then again Jake McCabe and Zach Bogosian still have jobs if they’re not beaten for them this preseason. If Housley were still coach I’d tell you the chances of the kids getting their shot at changing this team, even in preseason action, are slim. Again, Krueger is a huge wildcard here and there’s a lot to be learned in the preseason games coming up next week. Two more dark-horses worth mentioning in any conversation about Buffalo’s defense are Lawrence Pilut and Will Borgen. Pilut was a true rising star in the chances he got last season and it will be very interesting to see what he can do after returning from injury. Will Borgen on the other hand has been developing for what feels like an eternity. The season he finally looks ready to make the jump to the NHL and that’s the season there is this giant logjam. Don’t be surprised to see him really gunning for a look as Training Camp goes on though.

The offense should be an easier discussion. It’s not because Jason Botterill’s weird move of the offseason was bringing back several guys who are or should be on their way out the door. I am totally okay with not buying anyone out, there are few guys that makes sense with and even the ones who it does can be banished in less salary-cap damaging ways. However if we’re going to bring back a fourth line of Zemgus Girgensons, Johan Larsson and Kyle Okposo you minus well just build a wall that says “Stay in Rochester” on it. Guys like Arttu Routsalainen, CJ Smith, Rasmus Asplund and even Victor Olofsson may be staring at the wall wondering if they have any position to gun for. And I’ll be very honest up front: I have no clue what the plan is with Tage Thompson. I’m more patient than the average joe with a guy like that but it’s just too crowded in the forward group. We probably just need to suck it up and ride out Okposo’s albatross of a Tim Murray contract, but those other two guys on the likely fourth line would’ve been very sensible departures given how long they’ve been given second chances. They each brought something to last season’s team but I’m not sure I don’t want their spots taken by the young guns anymore. I suppose there is still time for those young guns to take their spots. It is a new coach after all. As mentioned earlier Krueger wants to have each of these guys fight for the spot of their choosing. Is Zemgus Girgensons better than all of Thompson, Andrew Oglevie and Matej Pekar? Strong maybe I guess? What about Johan Larsson: is he better than all of CJ Smith, Arttu Routsalainen, Rasmus Asplund and Dylan Cozens? Two of those guys are likely sent to their junior teams once camp ends but Smith was an AHL All-Star last year. Competition in the bottom six, at least the fourth line, should be very interesting.

The biggest questions in the forward corps is who will be the second line center and who will be the first line right wing? Both questions have obvious answers that are not necessarily the only options. A top line of Jeff Skinner, Jack Eichel and Sam Reinhart is very on brand for this club but if you use Reinhart at second line right wing you give Casey Mittelstadt some help shoring up that second line center role. Sheary could play on his off-side if it meant tapping in Eichel apples. If Victor Olofsson does indeed arrive as this top six player we’re all expecting, and you put him at 2LW you got a promising second line and a very interesting potential third line of Jimmy Vesey, Evan Rodrigues and Marcus Johansson. Yeah, I opt for the more experienced 28-year-old Johansson to play his off-side because I think he can do it fine on the third line and our good friend E-Rod may be fantastic at center if we give that an extended look. Now you may look at that summation of the top three lines as a pretty upbeat projection outside of the bitching about the fourth line. Where’s the difficulty in this discussion of the offense? Click, Click! In rolls every Sabres fan’s lineup projection grenade Vladimir Sobotka! NHL.com says he’s from the Czech Republic but anyone who watched last season’s Sabres knows he hails from the Kremlin. Wherever Putin hides the illegal chemical weapons, that’s where Sobotka is from because he stinks on ice! He’s not off the roster yet and that alone throws a wrench in the most fun version of the Sabres we could get out of Training Camp. Thompson and Sobotka are the guys that make the most fun version of the forward lines look unlikely but hey… Thompson could surprise me? I know, I wrote that full of doubt. Joking aside, he could be a late bloomer even though he didn’t exactly shine after getting sent down to the Amerks last season. Hmm, we really do have a lot to figure out during Training Camp, don’t we?

So what did I miss… Risto came to Training Camp after he definitely asked for a trade but why would he say that on media day? Eichel wants to score more goals, of course sweet boy. Marcus Johansson thinks Ralph Krueger is *pause for comedic effect* not your average Coach. Kyle Olsen was a Prospect Camp invite who earned an invitation to Sabres Training Camp. He’s probably the darkest of dark horses to make the roster. Uh… I think that’s it for now. When we wrap up Training Camp we’re going to tie all these loose threads together and preview the regular season. Between now and then however we have six preseason games to see how some of the questions get answered. Note: Six is fewer games than last year’s seven thankfully. If you weren’t reading the blog last year those games will be a taste of what the regular season is like here. Game action is much more fun and has a lot more opportunity for humor. Even though they’re meaningless in the standings I hope you’ll read, like and comment for the fun of it. It’s a sprint to regular season hockey from here!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. So it looks like Mitch Marner is going to pull a Will Nylander and miss Training Camp. The drama is better this time around for us Leafs Haters because for some reason Marner is personally offended by an $11 Million contract offer because it’s not as big as Auston Matthews’. Better more he’s much more likely to get traded than Nylander. I’m giddy for that Toronto Meltdown!

#buffalo sabres #hockey #training camp #rochester americans #blog #NHL

[mrmichaelsuarez]

                                     M. Night Shyamalan’s 9/11

A few years ago, I wrote a piece discussing four films from writer-director M. Night Shyamalan and their connection to the events of and the events following 9/11. A lot has happened since then; the most obvious incident being the killing of Osama bin Laden. Does what I wrote still matter? Did the world change with his death the same way it did when the towers fell, or when the Pentagon was hit, or when United 93 met its end?

No.

Nothing changes much. There are times when we look upon one another with a clearer or a dimmer set of eyes, but for the most part, we all end up back where we started. Politics is still the same. There’s still war. And, famine. And, racism. And, death.

And, so it appears that the lasting legacy of cinema proves its worth. The films of Shyamalan still resonate, perhaps even more now. All I ask is that you re-watch these films and examine them a different way than before. These are not simple, scary movies with twists you see coming a mile away. That’s the surface. That’s the pop sensibility working. Look underneath everything and listen closely (yes, even to his “terrible” dialogue). Signs, The Village, Lady in the Water, and The Happening argue something. Something important.

(FYI: not much editing has been done to this mostly stream-of-conscious piece of writing)

Hidden in the background during two scenes in Lady in the Water (2006) is a television set displaying battle footage from a war, most likely – due to the climate and uniforms the soldiers can be seen wearing – representing the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. In a film where there are no other uses of images aside the ones from the film itself are taken by the viewer at 24 frames per second, why does writer and director M. Night Shyamalan choose such footage? The answer ties in with the theme of the film itself and with the overall theme Shyamalan has explored within his films since Signs in 2002. Lady in the Water is the third in a series of four films that explore the issues America, its citizens and its government, has dealt with since the tragic events of September 11, 2001.

The first film, Signs, began filming immediately following that day, and yet the film achieves the behavior millions of Americans exhibited the weeks following 9/11. In the film, Mel Gibson plays a widower and former Reverend who lost his faith after losing his wife in a car accident. Sometime later, as the film opens, we find Graham Hess (Gibson) raising his son and daughter, along with his younger brother Merrill (Joaquin Phoenix). The story is how this family reacts to an alien invasion, and Shyamalan utilizes this to interpret the immediate reaction Americans had the morning of and the days following 9/11. The constant media attention given to the crop circles appearing around the globe and the actions taken by Graham’s children Morgan (Rory Culkin) and Bo (Abigail Breslin) represent the oldest of man’s traits, fear of the unknown and what he does not understand. Cameron and Beau are driven to discover as much information as possible concerning the images on television, much the same way millions of people desired to comprehend exactly who was behind the 9/11 tragedy and why. The film’s second act relies heavily on the paranoia that followed in the wake of 9/11, with Merrill’s eyes glued to the television set, hungry for any new information. Look again at the scene where he recounts to Graham the latest news report concerning an invisible flying saucer in Mexico. Phoenix delivers his lines with such urgency, his eyes manifesting the hours of no sleep – the worry that maybe, just maybe he might miss something important. Who among us does not recall those days watching CNN, or even MTV, agonizing over what happened and what could happen next?

The film, however, is about having faith, and as the final fade to white occurs Shyamalan has given his statement concerning a nation’s disquieting state: that we all must hold on to our faith, because it is the one thing that can keep us grounded, sane, and safe. A few lines spoken by Officer Paski (Cherry Jones) early in the film seem to say it all: “Your – your family has been through a lot. And the last thing these children need to do is worry about some crazy things happening in the world.” Tragedy happens every day. Every day in this world people lose loved ones to death, but what happened to the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and United 93 shook us to the core. The countless hours of media watching did none of us any good, because all it did was constantly remind us of the God-awful things in this world. Shyamalan does not give hope but implores all who feel they have none to seek it out in the mundane things of every day.

The signs in the film are not the crop circles. They are the details of life’s master plan, whether they are quirks like leaving glasses of water around the house, having a condition like asthma, or simply passing on the words “swing away.” The noting of these signs and finding faith through them bring upon this film’s ideas about faith. “Are you the kind [of person] who sees signs, sees miracles,” Graham asks Merrill at one point. Shyamalan might as well be asking the audience the same question.

If Signs is a film all about faith, then Shyamalan’s follow up The Village (2004) would be a meditation on the consequences of giving those in power more power based on the faith that they can do no wrong. The Patriot Act was something that took away the privacy of the citizen in favor of protection. Yet, as the Iraq War approached, those in power kept secrets and told lies that would further push their beliefs into the hearts and minds of the American people. Was there ever a connection between Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden? Did there ever exist weapons of mass destruction? These questions were certainly posed at the time. The answers that were ultimately given ranged from non-answers that spoke of “intelligence” to make believe like that of the infamous U.N. meeting in which Colin Powell held up a vial of “chemicals” that Iraq supposedly had which posed a threat to the free world.

There are many questions posed by the citizens of Covington Wood in Shyamalan’s film, the answers of which mirror those of the government during the time prior and during the early days of the Iraq War. No one can leave the village for fear of an enemy that resides in the wood surrounding the village, and when attacks begin to occur in the village (such as mutilated animal carcasses), the response from even the young children is that those creatures from the forest are to blame. The town “elders” try to explain that “Those [They] Don’t Speak Of” are not necessarily the ones responsible, playing a game in which they remove blame from themselves and steer it toward a common enemy, or threat. By the end of the film, it is understood that the elders created the village and the threat, for they needed to inspire fear in their citizens in order to keep order. It is discovered that an elder has been mutilating the animals and that the so-called enemy does not fully exist, though the idea of the threat does.

There was plenty of fear mongering during this time, and Shyamalan crafted a film that would reflect this angst and this astonishing display of sleight of hand those in power achieved through misdirection and secrets and lies. At one point in the film, Edward Walker (William Hurt) tells his daughter Ivy a half-truth in order for her to leave the village and enter the “towns.” What occurs is that, due to her blindness, she stumbles upon a modern day world but does not encounter any evidence that she is still being lied to. Her father tells her that the creatures are made up, but he fails to tell her that they live in a secluded wildlife preserve. He does what he needs to do in order for this lie to have some chance of continuing, yet still manage to keep his daughter in the loop so that perhaps one day she will be able to carry on the lie herself. Plenty of people bought into the Iraq War – some still do. The Village is a film that challenges what is told to us, because as Napoleon once said, “History is a set of lies agreed upon.” If no one questions those in power, then what becomes of the very thing that makes any country worth living in? America is a great country in that citizens are afforded the right to protest and even protest those who are protesting. This film presents a fascist state that on the surface appears to be a liberal hippie colony where money doesn’t exist and violence is discouraged. The town elders believe that what they are doing is the right thing, for they feel there is a threat beyond the woods, only it is something far different than what they use to manifest fear.

Edward’s speech during the last half of the film speaks volumes of what Shyamalan is ultimately getting to. When presenting to his fellow elders that he has told Ivy part of their lie, they grow angry with him. He responds by asking who they thought was going to lead once they were all dead and buried. “It is in them that our future lies…that this way of life will continue.” At this point in the film, there begins a questioning in just how far the elders have a right to keep control over the village. Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) is dying, the victim of a stabbing. If things do not change, then how is letting someone die from an act of violence justified? The reason these men and women created the village in the first place was to escape the outside world – our world – in which such things took the lives of those they loved. Now, here they are, a young man dying from the very thing they were trying to escape. Edward desires that his daughter be let in on the truth – at least a little – in order for their world to survive, for they would not be decent people were they to allow for Lucius to die. At the end of the scene, August Nicholson (Brendan Gleeson) agrees with Edward, stating this: “We can move towards hope. It’s what’s beautiful about this place. We must not run from heartache. You know, my brother was slain in the towns. The rest of my family died here. Heartache is a part of life. We know that now. Ivy’s running toward hope. Let her run.”

If heartache is a part of life, then there must be some way to escape it. In his 2006 film Lady in the Water, Shyamalan attempts to prove that there is a way to escape the pain and suffering from the world. There must be.

In the film, a man named Cleveland Heep, along with several individuals residing in an apartment complex called The Cove, discovers he has a destiny linked to magical, sea-dwelling “narfs” and grass-backed beasts called “scrunts.” The film is a strange amalgam of tragic realism and the fantastic. This is obviously done on purpose, for Shyamalan highlights the fantasy aspects in order for the footage of war to stand out in scenes involving the apartment of Mr. Leeds (Bill Irwin). Shyamalan, like so many during wartime, longs for a better place, and the place he creates was one of pure fantasy. Still, Mr. Leeds seems to say it all during the final minutes of the movie. As the fantasy world, which had begun to give many people in the apartment complex a renewed sense of purpose in a world with war, begins to crumble, he says this: “We can’t stand here playing make-believe. I wanted to believe more than most. I wanna be like a child again. I needed to believe there’s more than this awfulness around us….”

Mr. Leeds is portrayed, though not explicitly presented as, a former military man, who has seen his share of awfulness. Haunted by the images on his television – those of conflicts from places like Afghanistan or Iraq – he is constantly reminded of the things he must have seen during his time in the service. Having this man speaks these words is Shyamalan trying his best to get across that even someone who believes in putting on a uniform and fighting in war can also believe – or want desperately to believe – in something better than destruction.

What is also important to note is the character’s purpose in being a witness to the fantastic proceedings on display, though the reason he is a witness confirms Shyamalan’s reason to give Leeds these lines. He is someone the main character, Cleveland, respects, and it is because of this that Leeds becomes important. Some may be too quick to point out that Shyamalan performs a part in the movie, but one would be wrong to conclude that he is playing himself. Cleveland is actually the one who represents Shyamalan, for it is Cleveland who learns that through pain can come healing. And, it is Cleveland who respects Leeds. In the grand scheme of things, the character Shyamalan portrays is nothing compared to who Cleveland becomes, or rather who he discovers he was the entire time.

Lady In The Water ends with a happy ending. The mission the characters take on is fulfilled, and the audience is left knowing that these characters have found their destiny in the world. It is a shame, though, that this film, more than the previous ones, is pure fantasy.

This is why The Happening (2008) is his most important film. Having found faith after the tragedy of 9/11, more trust is given to those in power. Then, having to live with the consequences of said trust, a desire for a world where we all have a destiny and in the end good things happen occurs. If that world is indeed fantasy, then what of the real one? Where does the real world stand in the mind of Shyamalan? The answer is that he does not know the answer, but he does try his best to find one. In fact, he goes all the way back to September of 2001 in order to directly examine the fear and chaos of that day. He wants to know why those terrible events happened. Yet, by the end of the film, he still does not have an answer.

The Happening is about an airborne virus attack situated on the east coast of the United States, and it is obviously meant to mirror 9/11. When the first attack happens, people are certainly worrisome but even with a panic that causes thousands to begin fleeing major cities, it is not until the second attack that people begin to surrender to their paranoia. Through all of the panic though, Shyamalan’s sole focus remains in telling a story about two individuals re-igniting their love for one another. It is because of the threat that looms over them, that the two are able to understand that stupid arguments over stupid mistakes are incomparable to the tragedies surrounding them at every turn.

What of the tragedies? Well, as it turns out, something in the air is causing people to kill themselves. There are many explanations given by several characters throughout, including the most possible one, which deals with the environment. In the end, though, none of that matters. In fact, we never come to truly learn who or what is at fault, but the characters do not care. Nor do we.

A news program plays on a television near the close of the film, featuring two talking heads. What they talk about is the uncertainty of the attack. Neither knows why it happened or if any like it will happen again, though they do manage to speculate on it. However, Maya (Zooey Deschanel) does not seem interested, focusing on a pregnancy test. The final images of The Happening involve a bouncy, ecstatic Maya conveying the news to Elliot (Mark Wahlberg), resulting in Shyamalan’s mission statement.

When all is said and done, the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 will never truly make sense. Sure, there will be reasons given, background on those involved, but the thing that matters is what comes out of any tragedy: a renewed sense of life. Things are falling apart between Maya and Elliot, but through the attacks, they are able to understand that what truly matters in this world, as cheesy as it sounds, is love.

With four films, Shyamalan looked at 9/11 and its aftermath and did his best to find some sort of meaning, some sort of reason. He found that there was none. He found that a lot of people seemed to lose their way. He found some had lost their faith. He found that some longed for a better world. He found that some, after the skies had cleared, cared only for one another. After four films, that’s quite an accomplishment. If only more people learned to love after that fateful day, how different would this world be? By asking such a question, Shyamalan has undoubtedly made a series of films that defined the first decade of the twenty-first century.

#m night shyamalan #9/11 #signs #the village #lady in the water #the happening #criticism #film #film critcism

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

[Review] WHAT STILL REMAINS is Something Awfully Familiar

Anna is tough. She can hunt, trap, and work metal. She puts her Skyrim hours to good use, fashioning tools and weapons in her home-made smithy. It’s obvious within the first few minutes of Josh Mendoza’s What Still Remains that Anna knows how to survive in the woods without the modern comforts that we enjoy today. It’s a good thing, too, because she is apparently surrounded by a world gone rabid. 

    The world that Anna (Lulu Antariska) inhabits is a full generation removed from its diseased collapse. Twenty-five years ago, people started to get sick, changing them into rabid beasts. They call this the “changing”, and it was rampant enough to completely topple North-American civilization. Those lucky enough to see the dangers coming, like Anna’s college-professor parents, fled into the woods to distance themselves from the maniacs roaming the streets.

It’s in these woods that we spend most of the running time of Mendoza’s directorial debut. Anna and her brother, David (Roshon Fegan), are caught scavenging by someone whose menacing whistling signals his evilness. After a nasty tumble, David implores Anna to run on ahead and leave him there. He promises that he will be home soon, but we’ve seen this before. We know that he’s a goner. Anna takes off with surprisingly little convincing to see to their mother, who is at home, sick and dying. The last we see of David is him burrowing himself into the forest floor, trying to hide from the maniac who has already found him.

Anna’s mother is sick, and they have her tied to the bed like a dog. She insists that she isn’t changing, only dying, and asks for one final comfort. She wants to see the sunrise one last time. Anna declines, worried that her mother will use that opportunity to attack. They forgot to tie their dying mother up very well, apparently, because when Anna wakes up in the morning, her mother is gone. After watching her denied sunrise, Anna’s mother dies.

    Now all alone in this world, Anna buries her mother next to her father, who “changed” when she was little and was put down by her mother. She goes about her life, catching fish and hammering away at her smithy, when she is spotted by Peter (Colin O’Donoghue), a handsome thirty-something who approaches her home and asks to talk with her. Anna is tough, she is wary, and she is slow to trust. At least, that’s what we are led to believe. After a few tense minutes of gun-pointing, Anna lets Peter in and dines with him by the candlelight. He tells her that he comes from a community of “true believers” that live by the lake. They are in need of a blacksmith and would love for her to join them. After a night of reflection, Anna decides to give this a go and joins Peter on his trip back to his people. He’s really handsome, so, like, what could go wrong?

Along the way they encounter some men that Peter calls “berserkers”. They worship the “changed” men, dressing in rags and causing havoc everywhere they go. They successfully hide from the men and eventually make their way to their camp, where these “true believers” are not as holy or loving as they initially seem. 

I’ll go ahead and stop there before I get too deep into spoiler territory, but just know that there is very little to spoil with What Still Remains. We have seen this story play out a dozen times before and it seems to be a recurring plot device used in all post-apocalyptic fiction, from The Walking Dead to Children of Men and The Last of Us. We have the young woman who is being escorted through dangerous lands to a group that she doesn’t even know is there or who they really are. It’s definitely been done before, but there are a few parts of Mendoza’s story that freshen up the plot and try to make it stand out from all the rest.

    First of all, the film takes place over two decades after the fall of government and structured society. It isn’t 28 Days Later or even 28 Weeks Later, it’s 25 years later, and the world is filled with grown people who have never known any other life. Anna is one of those people. At 19, she has lived her entire life in the wilderness, fending for herself and hiding from those that mean her harm. Normally, those that have grown up in this type of story are still young and unable to take care of themselves. Anna is not a damsel in distress. Mendoza wrote her as a strong female lead and Antariska delivers on that strength. She is crafty, truthful, and a just member of what remains of society. In other words, she is a survivor. 

The second thing that separates What Still Remains from the other stories that share a similar plot is the amount of religious iconography and rhetoric from the survivors. Usually, in a post-apocalyptic film, religion and faith have left the world. People take one look around at what surrounds them and get whiplash turning their backs on their faith. That isn’t true in this film. The group of survivors where Peter comes from is deeply religious, praising the lord for everything that comes their way, good or bad. This is a bold choice, but Mendoza fell a little short in his bid to make them the creepy and mysterious cult he was intending.

Peter is portrayed as an elder within the group, and he has chosen Anna as his bride. They are baptized together and he begins to force himself on her. We are supposed to be creeped out by this cult-like gathering of people, but what is actually terrifying is Peter’s attempted sexual assaults. The filmmakers would have been wise to lean more into this dynamic, the broken man using religion to force himself upon a strong woman, instead of the “mysterious” cult mentality of the group. If you have spent any time within the evangelical community, you see this kind of behavior all the time. Hell, someone I went to high school with approached a girl and told her that “god demands that they be together”, and if she turned him down, she was really turning down the lord. They’re still married! That’s the mentality that certain evangelical groups have. Dating within that community is one-small-step away from arranged marriage. Men prey upon women who may have no interest in them as people, using the “holy spirit” as a reason for them to be together. 

  “..Mendoza distinguishes himself in his debut as a director with an eye for framing and shot composition.”

  Besides these small improvements on the story, Mendoza distinguishes himself in his debut as a director with an eye for framing and shot composition. Some of the shots in What Still Remains are absolutely gorgeous, using the natural beauty of the forest to compliment the intoxicating score from Johnathan Beard. The cast does a great job with the material they are given, and veteran actors Mimi Rogers and Jeff Kober are a welcome sight as elders in the camp of believers. Both Lulu Antariska and Colin O’Donoghue fill their characters with interesting quirks that give us a lot of information about who they actually are inside, and the way Mendoza shoots the berserker’s chase scenes is extremely well done. I just wish that we would have been able to see his talents used on a stronger film. 

What Still Remains is a decent set up that goes nowhere. It is a good-looking film that contains nothing of circumstance. Very little happens in this world that is supposedly filled with dangerous diseased humans and the maniacs that worship them. We see maybe ten berserkers in the entire 92 minute run time of the film, and witness maybe five or six on-screen deaths. What is most disappointing, however, is that we never see one person who has “changed”. We never see one of the beasts that brought down the world. I understand that the whole point of the film is that “man is the real monster”, but that has been overdone in popular fiction. We get it, man can be a terribly cruel animal, but you cannot develop this world of danger and destruction and not place us in any dangerous or destructive scenarios. Overall, What Still Remains is a valiant debut effort from Josh Mendoza that tries to put a new spin on the post-apocalyptic genre, but ultimately it stalls and fails to go anywhere with its premise. 

1.5/4 eberts  

  What Still Remains is being released to select theaters on Friday, August 10th, and will be available to rent our buy through Video On Demand Tuesday, August 14th.

Like what you just read? Join our Fiend Club over on Facebook and let us know! If you happen to catch What Still Remains, hop on our social media and let us know what you thought of it. While you’re at it, be sure to bookmark our homepage at Nightmare on Film Street so that you can catch all the hottest horror news, reviews and retrospectives the internet has to offer!

  The post [Review] WHAT STILL REMAINS is Something Awfully Familiar appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[survivoremathia]

Rites of Passage

Ali: We never got to play together, but I hope we can do so in the future and align, or more appropriately align-us :)

Trevor: My robbed child. I was really hoping I would get to play with you.  

Lydia: It's a bummer you were the first boot, I'd heard a lot about you

Owen:  MY FRIEND. Coming into this game after having recently hosted you I really did want to work together. Unfortunately you weren't really around the first few days and that didn't work out. I hope we get a second chance soon!!

Ali: I never got to talk to you that much about why you quit and I was sad when you did! I hope someday in the future, you’ll have more time to commit to a game, and will be able to experience the wild and wonderful ride that I never expected to experience, as a GB Survivor fan. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Lydia: It's a shame you didn't have time to play, you should come back when you have more.

Owen:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Ali: The mysterious quiet person in the Odysseus tribe. I hope everything is okay, and that whatever the personal reasons were that were preventing you from being able to play have subsided. You were the only person alphabetically before me on the wiki, and when you left, you gave me such consistent anxiety, as I’d open the wiki and on the cast list with placements, I’d always be right underneath the previous boot and thought I’d gone home :)

Lydia: I hope that everything worked out for you, and life is going a bit easier now. 

Owen:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Ali: Whew. We probably jumped the gun in voting you out, you were the scary mix of quiet but strategically intimidating. I was keeping up with ‘Great Lakes’ and was SO proud to see you kill it all the way to F6! If you had to be taken out by a 3-2-1 vote, it shows the threat you’d become. I’d love to play with you again and I hope to fulfill the prophecy you said in your last message, that a ‘newb will bring it home’.

Trevor: You already have a reputation even though you had barely started your first game when this one started.  You were too much of a threat to have around so we took you out while we had your fate within our grasp. 

Lydia: Our few short conversations were pretty fun.  You're certainly a kid with an abundance of character. 

Owen - Good job in Great Lakes you're in the sixth place fam now :')

Ali: I never got to play with you either, would’ve loved to though. All I can think of is some joke to do with ‘c-hole-in-one’, but I don’t how to put a golf joke into this? How can I put it… Or rather, PUTT it. Problem? Solved.

Trevor: Colin!! I really loved getting to meet you. I felt we connected well on our original tribes and I'm sorry to have abandoned you.  I was shocked when you were voted out but it was a HUGE sign to me and helped me know how to play later in the game. 

Lydia: We never really got to play together, which is a bummer because I'm still dying to know what a Space Gay is.  Also you had a+ taste in survivors. Maybe next time. 

Owen:  YOU WERE ACTUALLY ROBBED IM SORRY THEY DID YOU DIRTY LIKE THAT!?!? Another angel fallen TOO SOON wow. Bring Colin back for all stars.

Ali: Eddie, I still feel so guilty for what I did to you! You need a Survivor Athena r-ed(die)-emption. That was a stretch, I apologise for that lmao! :) Thank you for being apart of one of the craziest tribals of my whole experience (and arguably my favourite). Please don’t hate me, you seemed super nice :)

Trevor: You're A scary player.  Our talk before the mutiny was a big part of what led me to leave the tribe. I could tell you weren't being completely honest and I knew after that I may be in trouble on that tribe.  Glad the game didn't harm our repaired friendship though. 

Lydia: My only regret in this game is that I didn't get to vote you out myself.  Sucks to suck. 

Owen - I was never on a tribe with you but I hope you have a nice day. 

Ali: Welp. We never got to speak all that much, but you seemed super nice. You may not’ve won the Pictionary you were playing with your family, but you won a place in my heart :)

Trevor: I still don't understand why you didn't talk to people.  You doomed yourself.  #TheLastEasyVote

Lydia: I wish we could have talked more! I never seemed to be able to catch you at a good time. 

Owen -  I WAS on a tribe with you but it never felt like it!!!!! Thank you for being an easy vote for us and I hope everything is alright.

Ali: I never got to play with you either, and it sucks that you went premerge as a former winner, but it’s indicative of the threat you were. If an All Stars series happens, I’d love to see your third chance, or really second chance, as your second game wasn’t a second chance, seeming as you won the first time , but your third game would be your second chance on your second game whew. That explanation? Pretty unnecessary, but anywho :P

Trevor: Coming into this season as a former winner you had a huge target on your back.  I did enjoy getting to play with you and I think we could have actually worked together for a while.  But knowing the merge was coming I did not think it would be good if you and Duncan were able to team back up. 

Lydia: I was excited to get to play with you! Which is ironic because I know I voted you out, but you felt incredibly well connected at the time which made you an unquestionably dangerous, but also speaks to you as a player. 

Owen: Wowowowowowowow I think you were the only former winner on this cast and that should've made you an instant target but you survived for a while. I think that and your relationship with Duncan probably did you in. I'm glad we are hosting together tho and we are still pals! 

Ali: Like I say, you were rob-bed. I am so sorry you went home premerge, one of my few regrets in my game. I’m pleased you made jury, and really good luck with hosting ‘Death Valley’. I’ll CERTAINLY be watching :)

Trevor: Coming in from only knowing each other as Lake and Geo I didn't know how we would work in this game. Ultimately we didn't really get to play together at all but I was glad to see you go before the merge because I saw you as a huge threat to my game. 

Lydia: We were never on the same tribe and don't think we ever had a conversation, but I hope you're having an excellent day!

Owen:  I don't think I ever met you either that was all the sketchy idol and stuff I don't know but Rest In Peace.

Ali: I was in exile when you quit the game, and was really sad to hear that you quit when I came back :( I think after I played Guess Who with you and Sam at like 3am my time, I was bonded to you forever! Your memes will be in my memeory forever! :)

Trevor: I was probably most pleasantly surprised by you in this game. I loved getting to work with you and I'm glad I was able to convince you to mutiny with me.  When I saw you left the game I knew I was losing a true ally but I hope everything in your personal life is going better now.  

Lydia: Whatever reason had you leave this game I really do hope it's all sorted out now.  I know you were overall a really loyal but risk taking player and I gotta say I appreciate that. 

Owen:  I don't know the terms surrounding your quit, but if something happened I hope it is better now and if you were just busy I hope you're finding time to relax real life is important!!!!!! Cool.

Ali: My second British comrade! We didn’t talk that much either, but you should be super proud of surviving the two swap tribals you attended, when you were seemingly an obvious target! I hope, like George, you’ll be able to play another game, where you can dedicate more time! I will try and represent Team GB, but hopefully not like in the Beijing 2008 Olympics, where GB came fourth medals wise. I don’t wanna curse myself like that!

Trevor: Ooooo scott. Wow.  It took about three rounds of being on the same tribe before you finally talked to me lol. I knew no one else was talking to you so I used that to my advantage to steer your vote where I wanted for the next two rounds. Then at merge you disappeared again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  With the amount of strikes you got I hope you're not a baseball player. 

Lydia: You were honestly a really likable person, I think if you had been able to really get your focus here you could have been a force to be reckoned with.

Owen:  HSJSHSJSJS WHAT AN ICON?????? I think we all knew you'd be removed and the strategy actually became like....working around your inevitable med evac rather than working around/with you as an actual player. Thanks for writing my name down at that one tribal :') rock on

Ali: Whew, Matt. One of the major tribals of this season was your vote out. You came into this game with such (m)att-ack and fire, that you were quite scary! Even though you went first post-merge, your impact on the merge game certainly never died out! Even now, people are talking about what you said and the things you told the players about who are threats, come F3. Holey ‘Moly’ (too soon?), you certainly left your mark! 

Trevor: Coming to the merge I really didn't know if you being there would be a good thing or a bad thing. I felt like our friendship would be something that would bring us together but I wasn't sure where your head was at game wise.  After talking a little I felt like we were on the same page and that we could maneuver the votes as a pair at least for a few rounds. once I heard you were coming for me, the head of the snake had to be cut.

Lydia: This is going to sound so fake but I swear I really mean it.  Deciding I wanted to vote you out was actually very difficult for me.  You were one of the first friends I made outside of my first season in this community and I had wanted to play a game with you for awhile.  But then All Stars happened and that was rough, and this just really felt too soon afterwards to really build trust or play well together.  Maybe that was a misjudgment on my part, and believe me, I'm really sorry if it was.  It's not your fault you scare the shit out of me in games, but you play with such ferocity and unpredictability that I feel like you are always a serious threat to me. 

Owen:  I'm not sure why we never seem to click in games but I've known you/known of you for a long time and you're a legend!! Sorry we ended up on different sides of the battle once again. 

Ali: Welp, we really spoke all that much, except for me giving you the number for that password challenge, when I said what rhymes with four hundred and eighty knee. Well, what rhymes with purer slumber door shoe gauze mobbed and that’s my thoughts :)

Trevor: I'm looking forward to confessionals to see if you really were playing under the radar or if you had a lot more going on. I felt like after lying to you about the Jay vote that you just would not trust me again.  Plus you tried to vote me out :P. Your connection to Ryan was scary and that is a main factor in your ultimate downfall. 

Lydia: Remember when I was so siked to finally officially meet you and play a game together?  I really didn't take advantage of that.  Unfortunately if I didn't have people target you, they would have targeted Ryan and I was captain of #TeamSaveRyan at that point.  I know we didn't talk very much but I still feel like we had some good moments.

Owen:  I enjoyed working with you in the beginning and actually getting to talk and play together for once!! I'm forever mad at Trevor for declining TAR All Stars bc you're a cool host and a cool dude. I think our trajectory was similar to mine and Matt's where we ultimately ended up separated. But I liked the few conversations we were able to have!

Ali: It was tragic that you went home. You bequeathed me an idol, that I fudged up with (sowwy!)! You’re one of the people I really hope to be friends with postseason. Like I said to Isaac, playing ‘Guess Who’ at that ungodly time bonded me to y’all forever. I hope the tribe’s overall prophecy is correct, and you do play on the real Survivor some day! :) 

Trevor: I'm writing this one last because it is definetly the hardest.  When the game started you were the only person on my tribe that I felt good about.  I knew we had a little rocky history but you were still one of my friends and I just had a feeling I could trust you.  I always pick one person in these games that I tell everything to, and since I didn't know if I would ever meet up with owen or Lydia, that person became you. I was relieved when we still ended up on the same tribe after the mutiny and you were still the person I told everything to, even with picking up Lydia on the new tribe.  When I found my idol you were the first to know because I was giddy and so excited to tell you.  I feel like this game repaired any cracks that there may have been in our friendship and I don't see anything changing after the game.  You're an amazing person and I want to say thank you for giving me a chance to prove I'm not an asshole.  Voting you out sucked and I hope you'll understand why it was necessary. Talk to you soon.

Lydia -  I had heard so much about that I was so excited to see you cast! And holy shit did you leave you mark on this game.  I really thought that you and me were going to be teaming up but it just didn't seem to be working out that way.  I think we both were fighting for the same allies and that put us in opposition.  I really did like talking to you though the few times we were really on together. You've got a very magnetic personality and if our roles were switched I would have enjoyed watching the rest if your game play out. If I see you playing in anything else you know you've got a stan in me.

Owen -  MY OTHER CHILD DHDJDJ WOWOWOWOW I wanted to work with you more than anybody else in this game and I told you that as soon as we merged. I don't think you ever fully trusted me though because whenever we talked game you gave zero information except for the one time we were both being fake af lol. I imagined us going further together than we actually did. Still, you're a great player and a great friend and I can't wait for our band to become famous and we can leave all these survivor nerds behind. Looking forward to seeing you on tv in the fall for Survivor 35!!! Xoxoxo 

Ali: Whew. I’m really sorry you didn’t make F3 this time :( You were a major power player this season though, and I really feel like if it wasn’t for the live tribal craziness, you would’ve gone all the way once again. I really appreciate all the advice you gave me during the season, and I’ll make sure to apply it, for when I play again!

Trevor: If I had to pick one word to describe our game together it would be: awkward.  It started when you said you would only align with me for Owens sake. And went on to you saying things like when I thanked you for not voting for me and you said "I didn't do it for you" lol. I always found it laughable because it seemed like things you were thinking but shouldn't have said aloud. I knew I was never really part of your plans and eventually the fact that I knew everything you were doing through owen wasn't valuable enough for you to stay. 

Lydia -  God it was so great meeting you for the first time in this game.  Getting to know you was like reuniting with an old friend from this past summer who I hadn't talked to since.  Strange. Anyways, it's always really unfortunate when someone gets voted off simply because they were friends with a threat. Honestly, I really didn't want to be a part of this vote but logically it was the most reasonable thing to do besides voting out Owen, which believe me, I tried to sell that.  It's safe to say that in both games we played together you ended up being one of my favorite people, you are a really enjoyable energy to have around.  I hope we gave a third chance and can really team up for once.

Owen -  I dreaded the day that I would have to either side with you or side with Trevor. I hope I proved to you through my actions at the final nine that I really did put everything I had into keeping you here as long as I could. Even though you kick my ass at 8 ball on the daily :'( I'm sorry that it was you and not me that became the causality of our alliance. Thanks for having my back again this time around and know that one day we WILL make a final two together. <3 

Ali: After ‘Tea Time with Ryan’, I thought I’d never EVER want to play or even talk to you again. Having said that, by the time you went at F7, I’d had a complete 180 with you. That’s sorta why you had to go though, that’d happened with lots of people! Your gameplay and the underdog narrative you would’ve had at F3 were super scary! I hope to experience another ‘Tea Time with Ryan’ in the future but hopefully I’m not on the receiving end this time :)

Trevor: I admire you. I've always looked up to you a lot as a leader outside the game and try and emulate a lot of your dedication to the community.  For the last little while I always felt like perhaps maybe I bothered you and I had trouble knowing if you actually liked me or maybe I just misinterpreted things you said.  When the game started and we were swapped to the same tribe I was excited to work with you.  And I felt a nice change from our conversations outside the game.  We talked more and I truly felt like you were excited to talk to me.  When I found out you were working with matt to plot my demise I was slightly hurt because I REALLY wanted to trust you.  After that all went down I didn't know if you would even want to talk to me anymore. I'm glad we had that talk we did at final 9.  And it was also nice when we brought the fam back together.  Your vote off was a really low point in this game.  I hope we can still be friends when this is over. 

Lydia - Ryan Titty Palmer- I'm still SO MAD.  No one believes me when I say this but you actually were my closest ally in this game and the one I had the most fun working with.  We should be here together rn, this is a fucking tragedy.  Our few calls were probably the highlight of this game for me (just in terms of enjoyment, not really success because...obviously).  Anyways I'm glad we finally got to play together, I know you've played like 100 but since this is probably the last one for both of us for awhile, I just feel blessed. I know you already know it, but you're the best Ryan. You have the best attitude about games and kept me laughing every round even when you tried to fuck me over.  You're a fighter. Honestly, lets be best friends????

Owen -  Wow my dad!!! You're another person I wanted to play with since we have been friends for a while and we haven't gotten to be together in Survivor. It was truly a wild ride :') From siding together through premerge to making the fam to your going rogue and then back to the fam and then ultimately the round we went different ways, I'm glad we had our own SURVIVOR STORY to share and I hope we can keep talking in our draft chat after the season is over.

Ali: You went on such a journey this season. Be that with your gender identity, that you beat your Survivor record and that you lasted 7 more rounds, after all the other attendees at the 4 person Olympus tribal had gone home. I’ve learnt SO much from you about gender identity and I wish you luck at school and in your future. I have LOVED meeting you, I think you’re truly so inspiring. To end with a tennis analogy, you served it up this season! :)

Trevor: We came into this game with a rough history.  But I wanted to get to know Logan.  After leaving our starting tribe and then not meeting up again until merge, we never really got to start talking until merge time.  I was mildly surprised when we worked well together and weren't actually targetting each other.  After a certain point in the game I really thought we would go to the final 3 together but that all ended at final 7.  It still kind of saddens me that you never even answered my messages after that vote. Hope you're doing well, bro. 

Lydia -  I am really sorry you got caught in the middle the way you did.  It's not what you deserved or what I wanted to happen.  Unfortunately, it was my idea and my push to go that direction because I believed it was the safest decision, so I am truly sorry for that. I feel like you are one of those rare people that cares more about making friends and relationships in these games than winning, and there's nothing wrong with that.  In fact you deserve credit for it, it's not always easy.  You are just honestly a kind and good person.  I feel like that might be why we have some communication hiccups because I'm a disaster of a human and in general an asshole.  Anyways, people like you are rare and we should protect you.

Owen - I think coming into the season we both maybe had some pre-existing misconceptions about each other based on what we had heard in the past or our different relationships with Trevor. I'm really surprised at how quickly we were able to find a place with one another and rock it out for a few rounds. I got to see a side of you in this game that I don't think a lot of people realized. You strategized just as much as others, you had a plan and helped make decisions and carried out things you had in mind. We constantly bounced ideas off of each other and I don't think either of us couldn't have gotten as far as we did without the help of the other. Thanks for being my main dude the last few rounds! We did that :')

Ali: My F2, my ride or die. I was so crushed to see you go last tribal. We’ve had quite the bumpy newbie ride this season. You were the one I trusted most, that I talked all about strategy with, that I would joke with and I almost wish you were here at F4 instead of me. It’s been a distinct pleasure to play with you this season and I hope we can stay friends in this game and beyond.

Trevor: My Canadian buddy!  You welcomed me with open arms when I mutinied to your tribe and I am still very thankful for that.  Our alliance is still my favorite of the game and it was a shame when I realized that it was falling apart.  I was honest with you until that point, always was, because I didn't want to lose your trust. I'm glad we were able to mend fences before you left.  Good luck in your future games :)

Lydia -  Well...we had a roller coaster of a relationship didn't we?  I know it probably felt like it was easy for me to do what I did but it wasn't.  I did take my role as your mentor really seriously for the first half of this game and I loved watching you and Ali take my advice, and grow.  Maybe I just hated watching you two making moves for yourself.  I know that we fundamentally disagree about a few things, and I believe there is some legit miscommunication between us in terms of what happened and who made who feel what.  But I never lost respect for you, and I never wanted to make you feel disposable as an alliance  member.  I'm grateful that I got put on your tribe and got to meet you, and really do hope that we can be friends after this game.

Owen -  Both you and Ali were a breath of fresh air in this game!! To me, a lot of Survivor is about creating bonds with new people and actually getting to make friends and relationships. There's no prize money so what else is there to get out of it?? We didn't talk much until the end but like I said, I appreciated our last minute twenty questions session and I'd like to do it again some time. Thank you for being there for me when things got a little rough.

#allianceofone #rites of passage