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#be more selfish! be firm when you state your desires!
unholyplumpprincess · 2 years
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Oh my goshhhh-uhhh
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HC time! And this time is
☆Smut☆
What "innocent" detail of the M6 will make your blood boil?
~~~~♧~~~~
Nadia
As you approach her, she offer you her hand to kiss. She expects you to do so.
Every time you speak in public, she glares at you with pride in her eyes.
From time to time, she forgets her shawl where you can notice it. As you pick it up, her fragrance fills you. As you return it to her, your hands shake.
Asra
He often jokes about them teaching you someting else... and then he states it's something silly, like bargaining with the salamander. Of course it was something like that. What were you thinking about?
When he's focused, he fidgets with his pendant, lifting it and then letting it fall onto his chest. Thump-thump-thump. The stone catches the light each time. You can't help looking at it.
The shop is small, and you have to sleep in the same bed. Each morning, you're awaken by his moans as he stretches next to you, the chest exposed to the first sunbeams of the day.
Muriel
When he carves his little figurines, he caresses the wood with his fingers to feel the shape hidden in it. You alway notice how gentle his touch is, despite his hands being so big.
Sometimes, when he's calm and the rain gently hits the roof, he humms a song. Its words are long forgotten, but Muriel's deep voice reaches your chest, making it vibrate with its sounds.
Every time the fire light hits his bare skin, you see countless marks of his violent past reflecting a pale light. You'll never tell him, but being alone with him with such a reminder of his strength sends odd shivers down your spine.
Julian
When Julian reads, his auburn curls fall on his fohead. From time to time he passes his fingers within them to push them back. You always daydream about your hand being the one doing that.
As he's getting to work on a patient he rolls up his sleeves, revealing his beautiful forearms. His insecurities melts away in a matter of seconds, and his touch becomes firm and gentle.
His laughs echoes in every room. It's so warm and contagious. When he stops and looks back at you though, there's always that residue smile on his lips and a glint of something savage into his eyes. Hunger? Challlenge? Desire? You can't tell, and you can't look away either.
Lucio
He's a selfish, entitled prick, but there's so much love painted on his face every time he looks at his dogs that your heart melts.
Whenever you see him sparring or fighting, you're hypnotised by his movements. He looks like a ribbon cutting the air around him, fast and elegant.
There's something dark and magnetic in the way he's not at all concerned by blood on himself -being his or not. You look at him cleaning his hands with a handkerchief, staining it in red. You always say that Lucio's ease with violence is concerning to you... but maybe it's something more.
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skylarmoon71 · 13 days
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Lance Sweets (Bones)- Short Story : Chapter 4
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“Are you not mad that I hid the truth?”
Sitting in the diner, you shake your head.
“You were asked by a sentient being, why would I be mad? I understand how important such instructions are. Regardless, we’re together now.”
Sweets nods, reaching over the table and taking your hand.
“When I saw you that day I almost gave in. You looked so enamored and I know it was selfish, but I was elated when I learned that you hadn’t found someone else. Is that wrong of me?”
You shake your head with a grin.
“I would have been very much the same.”
The love you felt for him, you’ve never had it for anyone else.
“I am curious, is Sweets a vessel?”
He shook his head.
“He’s merely a persona, much like the one you created. When I was brought back a few decades ago I knew I had to adjust to the times. So much had changed. Do you think it suits me?”
“Very much. You’ve always been quite knowledgeable.”
His grin is a bit bigger as he lifts his chin.
“I suppose humanity does suit me.”
You giggle.
“It does.”
Being able to sit here and talk with him, touch him, it’s more than you ever thought that you would experience. Sweets takes in the content expression and he squeezes your hand a bit tighter.
“(Y/N).”
You hum.
“I would like to lay with you tonight.”
You tilt your head as you grab a fry.
“Is that not what we have been doing for the past week?” You joke.
For the last couple nights that’s how you ended up. In each other's arms.
His expression changes to one that is a bit contemplative.
“I suppose the phrasing is different in this time. What I mean is, I would like to make love to you.”
You stop chewing almost immediately, eyes wide.
Sweets’s expression shows only desire.
“I want to feel you, the way we did so many times before. I want to touch every part of your body, kiss every inch..”
The more he confesses the hotter you feel. You mean to tell him that he doesn’t have to wait till tonight. You can easily call in sick and let Booth handle things for the day. Apparently the universe has other plans.
“Hey, Sweets!”
Booth’s voice breaks your focus and he grins, taking a seat and joining the both of you. Brennan follows, sitting at his side.
“Bones and I need some shrink advice.” Booth informs.
You really wish he was better at reading the room.
“We have a scheduled time Booth. We’re trying to enjoy lunch.” Sweets says.
“Come on, quid pro quo remember?”
He doesn’t wait for a response, just goes on to explain his problem. You know Sweets has no choice but to engage. The remainder of lunch you pick at your fries, trying to distract yourself from the words that he’d previously stated. You can’t even really focus on their discussion.
A hand slides over your thigh and you bite your lip when Sweets gives you a firm squeeze.
The hours that follow you find yourself distracted. You’ve decided that it’s probably better to keep your distance from Sweets until the day has come to an end to avoid jumping him. Maybe you should have been more discrete, because he’s noticed the avoidance and as a last resort, he feels he needs some advice.
“Booth, can I ask you something?”
It’s uncommon for him to show up at Booth’s office for advice of all things.
“Sure, hit me.” Booth is currently playing with a ball, so it’s apparent that he isn’t really paying attention.
“I made a..proposition for (Y/N) today and I think it might have scared her off.”
Booth quirks a brow.
“What kind of proposition are we talking about?”
Sweets sends him a look, and a grin makes its way on his face.
“Sweets you dog.”
He sighs, taking a seat.
“Maybe I was too hasty.”
“Come on, let’s be real. We all saw that make out session. So here’s my advice. She’s probably keeping her distance because she’s ready for that proposition, but she wants to remain professional at work.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah. That or she’s uncomfortable and just doesn’t want to see your face.”
“Was that really necessary?”
Booth laughs.
“You asked for help, I’m giving it.”
Sweets just lets out a sigh as he stands.
“Well, I’ve learned my lesson. Goodbye.”
Booth waves as Sweets exits the room.
The day carries on, and when you’re finally off, you stack the complete files. The day feels as though it has dragged on. Sweets has no doubt already left. You did tell him that you were going to be late. So he’s definitely already at your apartment. You smile to yourself.
There are some perks that came with being as powerful as you are. Closing your office door, you reach for your bag. Closing your eyes, you step forward, now standing in the familiar walls of your home.
The first thing you notice is the extra pair of shoes. You practically toss your bag.
Sweets walks from around the corner.
“(Y/N), I apologize. Maybe I was too forward about my-”
You don’t give him a chance to finish the sentence. You’re already kissing him and he hums, pulling you in. The minute you both part, you smile.
“I..I was worried that I might have made an unreasonable request.”
“No such thing. I’ve been distant because my self restraint was being tested. There are far too many hours in the day.”
You run your hand along his cheek, and he closes his eyes. Enjoying the feeling.
“Am I dreaming..”
You shake your head.
“This is real.”
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lisafoxromance · 2 years
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Can you give us some info or facts about ROs of Devil on Your Shoulder? 😄
I can! Yay!
Davin, your demon companion, is a very old and very powerful being. Smug, arrogant, and superior, prior to you accidentally summoning him, he was called upon by kings, wizards, warlords -- people who possess the most ruthless and selfish ambitions, and who are willing to sell their very souls to see their desires realized. He's not super fond of humanity in general, finding most mortals to be shortsighted and predictable. He has no choice in who he is called to serve, and if he finds the subject even the least bit irksome, he will do his best to tempt them into making the worst choices to help ensure their retribution in the afterlife is particularly gruesome. You, however, are someone totally beyond the realm of his vast experience, and he can find himself a little unsure of how to deal with that at times.
Cristóbal Novak, your downstairs neighbor, was born and raised in Detroit. He has two older sisters. His mother's family is from Mexico, his father's from the Slovakia–Ukraine border region. He is a renowned war photojournalist who has covered the Gulf War, the Bosnian War, Ukraine's Independence, and the Guatemalan Civil War, among many other international incidents and conflicts.
His last assignment in Somalia got him blown up for his trouble and he returned to the States to recover. After spending some time with his parents, he left Detroit and moved back to New York, the city he fell in love with on his very first day at Columbia University. He says he's currently on hiatus, but that doesn't stop him from carrying his camera around everywhere. He's naturally inquisitive and always ready for a good time, but as you get to know him, you may discover there's something somber in has past, an incident which haunts his mind.
Ryan Pembroke grew up in Greenwich, CT and went to NYU. He has one younger sister. His mother was a supermodel in the 60s and a very big part of Swinging London. His father is the founder of a Dean & Deluca type epicurean, upscale grocery store.
Ryan is idealistic and somewhat naïve. He began his career on Wall Street, founding his own very successful financial firm at the age of 25. He enjoyed the work because like most things in his life it was easy, but he never found any real satisfaction in it. When the violent conflicts between the artists and renegades of the East Village and the police (and the corporations and politicians backing them) enters his consciousness, he finds that the aggressive gentrification offends him on an elemental level. Being as privileged as he is, he decides he can do something about it, and launches his campaign for City Council. Unfortunately for him, the world of NYC politics isn't the lily-white life he's accustomed to, but with your help, he can weather the storm and take the difficult path of trying to remain true to his unrealistic idealism, or come to see the world as it really is and make a different choice.
Thanks so much for this super fun ask! It was really fun to write. I hope this answers your question. I don't want to be too spoilery, but if you'd like to know more, I'll do what I can to oblige! 😈 🖤
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cosmicangel888 · 1 year
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Divine Feminine Standing in Your Power
What does 'family' look like and mean to you - what is family feel like in 5D - how to rebuild unity, oneness when so much pain and suffering has occurred and how to be 'ok' to let it go when it simply does not nourish you - ' have all be accountable for the vibration they offer -
You don;'t have to be the one that opens the door to hear, to listen, to be a dumping place and safe place those that have not ever given you the same;
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Your energy, when you love yourself, when you honour yourself, you choose to gift your energy, your time, your resources in any way to someone that has given 0 evidence they were ever there for you; you can choose to say NO without the old roles, stories, and expectations of lineage dysfunction that states you 'take a man back' when they finally figure out their wrongs -
While you have weeded through years and years of abuse, neglect, withholding, and deceit your focus of rebuilding a life, rebuilding who you are and to intending with love what a real independent life looks like outside of the mess and woundings of insecurity
Few that bring pain to you, because of their own pain, have no idea the damage they cause you - it is key to keep working within, daily self care, daily self love, and harmonizing who you are - never to make another's life more important than your own, to rebuild the inner sense of self is the most important play to creating a reality you get to stand proudly within
Other worlds, others lack and insecurity does not have to be yours; and empaths, the awakening of gifts, and projections of others plays a huge part on the peace, balance, and harmony of any environment and not all people have equal consciousness, awareness, nor the awakening to take their own life and accountability for the greater good - not all have integrity.
youtube
Not all have your highest interest and greater good at heart - so trust in who you are and discern what, who, and how much you allow in your life - the knowing that your energy is important -
I am a world teacher, how to heal dysfunction, psyche wounding, akashic wounds, and knowing how to be the pillar of light, truth, and setting new standards in alignment with 5D grids, 5D homes and peace and healing - regardless of the selfish and arrogant plans of others - you are not the answer and pot of gold for any other - empower all to step up and be their own pot of gold - the opportunists and gold diggers can be sensed before they even plan their scheme to approach you - stand firm and be keenly polite and kind to set boundaries and respectful rules of engagement
Family pain, suffering, is not necessary - it is only in the selfishness and arrogance of old patterns stories, of ego-dogmatic oligarchy that keeps many in de-evolutionary states of being; whether it be business or family - it is all healable - patterns are patterns and stay true to you regardless of the small-minded selfishness around you -
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You can be firm and polite while stating your needs, wants, desires while empowering all to go within and heal - expansion is unique to all and pacing, depths, widths and what one person needs and wants for evolution is not what another needs - why self honour and knowing thyself will set the pace for others to follow in their own unique self design - We are re-defining self love and what families are to look like and be like - sovereignty and interdependence are key -
Families are those that have your back, and always support you - never want to break you, put you through hell to keep their secrets and life in running form, while you work 24/7 to maintain balance to what is meant to fall and break - for what is not of integrity will break - it is meant to - energy is energy and it must vibrationally match equally, with intention for all to do their own inner work, and importance of such for the greater good -
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You learn the most from those you call family; not all care to the depths and widths that you do, some are not truthful, and some truly care not their actions and how it affects others - you do not have to be the fixer - you do not have to be a guide - you can send the energy back, send the expectation and projections of others and have them sort out their own life and be their own best guide - this is sovereignty - you are not the answer to anyone and nor are they to you - self love is key -
Say no when it serves you - and be ok to close out all cycles that have harmed and degraded you - stand tall in your light to those that intentionally manipulate, deceive, create smoke and mirrors and fog so that they do not have to face their own indiscretions and shadow - you do not have to allow them into your space and life -
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You can be independent and you can say no - re-write what 'family' means and how you can build new healthy relationships and what this means - connection is everything in the process of ascension and inner evolution -
So work on it with you first and what matters, what is the highest self value and self honour and you will attract those that match equal self honour
You are here to break all out-dated patterns and codes of limitation - I know how to make complex psyche wounding and patterns make sense - so that easy answers and simple tools and techniques can be administered daily to bring great powerful positive change - © 
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I am a healer and teacher of which I have experienced it all - and thus then I am here to help
Rebuild your life with excitement and vitality - your voice, your story and your life matters - may none ever harm or put you down, or abuse power over you, for you have a voice and you matter; may your body be treated with love and respect in your own knowing and managing of it - the vessel of light that you are is under your own self management and exploration and expression - may it be a gift and sacred for your own expression and love of that expression© 
And so be the vessel and experience of life light and love that you were born to be,
And so be it
Blessings and love
Joanna
Human evolution, re-writing all aspects of our co-creative experiences through love, light, harmony of all that is sacred, always been sacred;
World Ascension Healing Classes, Intuitive Sessions, Healing Sessions, Ascension Books, Healing Systems, 5D human-socio-altruistic re-write ~
DONATIONS - see our PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss * [email protected]
For our Tumblr Blog and weekly Ascension Posts
#healing
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#healinghumanity
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yhwhrulz · 2 years
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Today's Daily Encounter 4th July 2022
Freedom and Gratitude
"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."1
Today is a day of celebration in the United States--the day when each year we celebrate our independence as a nation. For those who live in the U.S.A. let us not forget that our independence was bought with a price--the price of blood on the battlefields. Thousands of men and women fought for our freedom, many of whom gave their lives in the process.
No nation in world history has experienced more freedoms, privileges, and opportunities. This nation was founded and built on a solid foundation of liberty and justice for all with a firm belief and trust in God.
Today, however, too many of us are taking our freedom for granted and have forgotten that the "price of freedom is still eternal vigilance;"2 not only militarily, but perhaps even more important, morally. Too many are confusing liberty with license and are wanting personal freedom without personal responsibility and accountability--not realizing that they are being enslaved by their own passions and selfish desires which will erode the very foundation upon which this nation was built quicker than anything else.
For all who live in a free country, may we ever be thankful to those who gave their lives to give us our freedom and independence and may we guard these freedoms with our lives. And may we also be ever thankful to God for the gift of his Son who died so we could be eternally free and for the wonderful privilege that we can serve him with our lives. And may we never ever forget that "blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord."3
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, for those of us who live in a free country we give You our never-ending thanks. May we never take our freedom for granted but guard it zealously. We pray for those people who are enslaved by despot leaders, who are imprisoned and tortured for their Christian faith, and for all who know nothing of freedom--and we especially pray that the gospel will go forth in spite of their situation. Grant that those who belong to You will have peace in the midst of their circumstances and be kept from all harm and danger. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus's name, amen."
John 15:13 (NIV).
Thomas Jefferson.
Psalm 33:12.
Today's Encounter was written by: Richard Innes. <:))))<><
NOTE: If you would like to accept God's forgiveness for all your sins and His invitation for a full pardon Click on: http://www.actsweb.org/invitation.php. Or if you would like to re-commit your life to Jesus Christ, please click on http://www.actsweb.org/decision.php to note this.
Daily Encounter is published at no charge by ACTS International, a non-profit organization, and made possible through the donations of interested friends. Donations can be sent at: http://www.actscom.com
ACTS International P.O. Box 73545 San Clemente, California 92673-0119 U.S.A.
Phone: 949-940-9050 http://www.actsweb.org
Copyright (c) 2016 by ACTS International.
When copying or forwarding include the following: "Daily Encounter by Richard (Dick) Innes (c) 2016 ACTS International.
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yuzukult · 3 years
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bittersweet. (m) || kmg & reader
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title: bittersweet. pairing: kim mingyu x reader genre: angst, fluff, smut, established relationship!au word count: 3.1k warnings: dirty deed is done (aka explicit sex if you didn't catch that). profanity. prompt: you're always fighting. he doesn't get you. so why are you even still together? a/n: before any of my friends make fun of me, shaddup. anyways, this is for @/ficscafe dialogue prompt event! i'll be using #14: you make me weak.
He’s so adamant.
The crinkle in between his brows, the scrunch of his nose, and his incessant blinking from all the nerves, despite it all, he still stands firm on his beliefs.
But you’re fighting. Always fighting.
He doesn’t get you—he spends most of the time he's with you arguing about how insensitive you are as a person, how nonchalant you can be when you should be reacting with some type of emotion, and how he wished you’d been more affectionate with him.
But he doesn’t understand you. He thinks you’re selfish (sure, he didn’t outright state this, but you can sense him feeling this way.)
Albeit you’re unsure how you got yourself in this position—back flat against the wall, his hands on your wrists with his crotch pinning yours as your legs wrap around him securely to meet his gaze from the height difference.
“I need you to talk to me,” he rasps, anger filled in his voice. “I’m so tired of making this into some guessing game. Why can’t you just tell me how you feel?”
Although he’s got you cornered, rutting his hips into you once again, it's not persuasive enough. “Talk to me.”
“If you can’t figure me out, maybe we should just break up. I didn’t want to date in the first place.”
Jaw clenched, his eyes continue to melt into yours. He’s looking for anything—a sign, a glimpse, a crack in your exterior to see whatever it is you’re truly feeling inside. “Why do you always use that as a solution? Instead of just communicating?”
“Because—“ you halt, breath hitching when he shifts, the head of his cock rubbing against your bud through your thin material shorts. “—Because it’s an easier solution. What do you expect from me?”
“To tell me and show me if you like me or not. You’re like a fucking boulder. I can’t move you.”
You quirk a brow. “Your fucking holding me down right now. You’ve evidently proved you can move me elsewhere.”
“Emotionally,” he says, exasperated. “The most I can get you to feel something is when we’re fucking. I’m surprised we’re even fucking in the first place. You barely let me hold your hand!”
Rolling your eyes, you pull your arms from his hold and he lets go easily. It’s the type of person Mingyu is—he’s gentle, the complete opposite of you, with a heart of gold that everyone loves and appreciates. He’s lovable, known to many, and desired by them all, and somehow, you got him in your grasp and truthfully… you’re not sure what to do.
He’s fragile, but you have rough hands with toughened skin from years of experience and encounters. There’s this fear that you’ll drop him, shatter him into pieces as brittle as chinaware. So you hold the front, keep yourself strong with a facade tougher than concrete, because you’re afraid if you hold on too tight, he might break. And at the same time, he might break you too.
“You wanna know why?” You finally blurt, words firm and sharp. “Because you make me weak. And I don’t like being weak. I don’t like being known as weak. And you—you do that to me. I hate it.”
He furrows his brows. “I make you weak? The one girl I know to be the most resilient?” Mingyu has to scoff in disbelief because it’s the first time he’s hearing this. “You realize how insane you sound? It’s okay to have feelings for me. It’s why we’re together.”
Nose twitching, you suck in your cheeks. “I hate it. I hate this. I hate that when you turn to look at me in the morning, you give me that fucking… smile. Like I’m your whole world. Like you’re head over heels for me and I’m all that you see.”
“And why do you hate that?”
“Because, some part of me, deep down into the abyss, wants to look at you like that too.”
His jaw loosens, just like the restraints he had over his heart in the past hour of arguing, hands now finding purchase on your thighs to pull you back up closer. “Baby…” he calls out for you softly, the term of endearment nearly bursting your heart, but you keep yourself calm and collected as you normally do. “Then do it. Why are you so scared?”
“I told you.”
“That’s not a good enough reason.”
“Well, it’s good enough for me.”
He heaves a heavy breath. “Baby, I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I’m chasing you but I’m getting nothing out of it.”
Then, you reiterate the same words you’ve said multiple times, but there’s never any genuinity in it because you never actually… meant it. “Then let’s break up.”
“We’re not breaking up.”
“Then what do you want to do? Tell me. If breaking up isn’t the option, then tell me instead of having me up the wall if we’re not gonna fuck.”
“Fucking only happens when you’re pissed or when you’re making up.”
“So, what now?”
It’s Mingyu’s turn to roll his eyes. “We make up. I need you to talk to me. I can barely read you—the only thing I know for sure is that you don’t want this to end because you just admitted to me that you wanna look at me the same way I look at you.”
Frustrated, you let your head drop onto the wall behind you. “This is annoying. I don’t like expressing stuff. You just take what you get or leave. If you can’t figure out what’s going through my mind, what’s the point? Why put in the effort?” Eyes fluttering shut, you feel yourself wanting to crawl into a ball and just… hide. Despite being fully clothed, you feel naked when Mingyu asks for more. And what he’s asking for isn’t even unreasonable—you’re just horrible at telling people what you’re feeling. “I just… why can’t I just let you lay your head on my lap when you get home from work? Or… cook dinner with you. Even have it ready when you have long nights at work. Maybe even fold your laundry—I don’t know. I don’t like PDA but if you asked me, I’d hold your hand under the table. Or… hold it in your pocket on cold days.”
Then, Mingyu stays silent (for the first time).
It finally hits.
You’re not outspoken when it comes to soft things. You’re loving but not in the same way he is. You’re also honest and straightforward about everything except when it comes to admitting feelings for him.
And for once, when you say those words, he… he feels loved by you.
He remembers those days—after spending hours at the gym despite having a long work day, he’d come home and you’re there waiting for him on the couch so you could shower together. You’d help scrub his limp body, even though he moans and groans about how sore he is, but you do it nonetheless because you like him. Or when you stopped by at his apartment, one he shares with all his friends, because he was stuck with helping one of them build their beds and you brought them all, including himself, lunch. And that wasn’t to mention you were already working twelve hour days.
“Can you answer one question for me, then? I won’t force you to tell me again. I just need to hear it once.”
Your eyes open, and it feels like a mistake because your heart drops into your stomach. His gaze is hypnotizing, like he’s got you in a trance, and you respond with a ‘yes’ without much thought because of him.
Mingyu swallows all his anxiety before asking that million dollar question.
“Do you love me?”
Although you feel small being put on the spot like that, the one thing you’ll admit is that you’ve already predetermined the answer to this. And just as much courage as Mingyu puts into asking, you’ll reciprocate and do the same in answering because he’s admirable for even trying.
“Yes.”
Without much thought, he presses his lips against yours. You love him, although you rarely if not never say it, but you finally said those words and all he needs is to hear it just once for assurance. To know that there’s something he’s chasing for, that he’s not running in place like on a treadmill.
Arms snaking around his neck, you keep your hold there as his hands reach to your jaw, leveraging the kiss in an angle he’d prefer. When you kiss, he feels complete. He’s never felt like this with another girl before, this feeling of home, the feeling of comfort. You’re colder than brisk winters, but something about having you in his arms makes him warm.
Your fingers comb through his locks, and although it’s doused in gel and spent hours on doing this morning, he doesn’t mind because he knows he’s yours. When you kiss him back, he’s as anxious as he was when he had to go on stage and perform in front of people for the first time.
Gently pulling away, both your lips are pink and swollen with a string of saliva connecting between. Pants brushing against each other’s face, a soft smile tugs on the edges of your lips as you feel heat creeping up your neck.
“I love you too,” he says, as low as a whisper. “And… I’m okay if you don’t say it again. You know how I show you that I love you… and I should’ve been better at learning what you’re comfortable with in showing how you love. But I still need you to help, too, to make this… better. I need you to talk to me, when you need me. When I need you. I need you to be here for me too.”
“Okay,” you respond, volume matching his. “If that’s the case, I love you. Just… as another reminder since I only said yes the first time.”
He lets out a chuckle, vibrating from his chest and everything about him makes your heart race. “Good. Can I show you how much I love you?”
“No,” you retort quickly and bashfully. But he knows you’re playing because you nod afterwards, allowing him to carry you to the couch. “Maybe.”
“I need a yes, love,” Mingyu says cheekily, face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. “You know I’m not going to go any further until I hear it.”
“Yes,” you reply embitterly, but Mingyu knows better now. He knows what you want, because all he needed was assurance. “Please show me how much you love me.”
And fuck, because he never knew how much he needed to hear those words all his life.
You’re so pretty when he has you stripped down to nothing, laid out on the leather couch of your living room; hair messy, mouth gaped open from all his teasing, and with an arm covering your face because it’s all too much for you. Mingyu is a passionate lover, you’ve come to recognize, and although it’s all an unfamiliar territory, you love him and you’re willing to step into the unknown.
“How am I doing?” He asks, as if he doesn’t have his head in between your legs and a grip on the meat of your thighs. He loves the taste of you, he reminds you plenty of times, but dirty talk coming from such an innocent face makes you slightly embarrassed. “Feels good?”
“Shut up,” you hiss, avoiding his infatuated stare. “Just… just fucking do it, you asshole.”
“What? Show you how much I love you?”
There’s a tornado in the pit of your stomach. He keeps saying things that make you awkward because you’ve never been loved like how Mingyu loves.
You don’t react, and this displeases him. Laying his tongue flat out against your cunt, he gives you another lick that lets a whimper escape from your lips. “Tell me, baby. Am I doing a good job?”
“Yes,” you croak, only because you feel like he’s got you in this position for so long. You’re so exposed, and he at least has his boxers to protect him like a shield, but you’re all out in the open. (Not to mention his fucking built body. He makes you feel so insecure about yours—how is this puppy looking boy so… wide? What the fuck?) “Can you… can you take that off?”
He leans up, tilting his head in confusion and now you can see how hard he is in his undergarments. “My… my boxers?”
“Yeah. I feel like… I’m the only one exposed here.”
He laughs. “Baby, we’ll get to that.”
“Now.”
Mingyu snorts. “Anything my baby wants.” He bumps foreheads with you gingerly, something he's always done playfully, and tugs off his boxers swiftly as requested. “Let me make you cum first and—“
“No,” you interject, eyes closed and biting down on your bottom lip. It's the only way to remain bold—to not look him in the eye because he’ll melt you like a stick of butter left on the kitchen counter. “Show me how you love me.”
Mingyu doesn’t hesitate to shuffle quickly through the little stash hidden on the first shelf underneath your coffee table (he likes to be prepared in every situation even though this is your apartment) and finally spots the condom he hid a week ago. Tearing it open rapidly, he gives himself a couple pumps that have beads of precum building at the top and slips the rubber on with ease. “Ready?”
“For you?” Mingyu gulps, because before today, you’ve rarely said anything that made his heart stutter. “Anything.”
With a push of the head of his cock into your heat, a quiet wince escapes from your lips and his chocolate orbs are saturated in apologies. He doesn’t want you to feel pain, especially not you, but even his efforts to loosen you up beforehand, you still manage to be so tight around him every time. It feels good to have you around him snugly, yet he knows the consequence of the beginning is the ache in between your legs from the first intrusion.
“I’m sorry, bub,” Mingyu presses a tender kiss on your forehead. “Bear with me, yeah?”
“Mm,” you hum dismissively, warming up when he finally slides himself all the way in. He stills, in fear that you’re hurt, but instead, you’re surprisely impatient as you cross your legs behind him and pull him close. Bringing your lips close to his ears, you breathe, “fuck me, baby.”
Mingyu laughs brightly, and your jaw clenches. “What?”
“After today, I’m not going to fuck you.” You quirk a brow. “I’m gonna make love to you.”
“Don’t make me throw up. You’re ruining the moment.”
He grins mischievously before pulling out and shoving himself back in swiftly that earns a groan from you. “Oh? Am I?”
“Stop playing, Mingyu,” you state sternly, but Mingyu is enjoying himself too much. “Or else you're not getting any for the month.”
Well, that does the trick.
He has his hands on your hips, pushed down against the seat cushions of your loveseat couch, hips once flushed against yours now thrusting into your throbbing pussy. God, you’re fucking done for, honestly, because he’s a pro with his hips when he angles it just right that he’s brushing against your swollen clit, hitting so deep into you.
“Fuck—“
“You curse too much, baby,” Mingyu puffs, pecking the side of your lips sloppily. “Everyone thinks I’m such a nice guy and when they meet my—fuck—g-girlfriend and find out how much of a dirty mouth she has, they’re always struck.”
“Too fucking bad,” you spit, fingers digging into the skin of his shoulders. He’s so big, stretching you with each shove, but you’d never tell him that or his ego would inflate. “Stop talking and fuck me harder.”
Mingyu loves. He loves and loves, and although you won’t pretend that he comes to your home often with crumpled pieces of papers with girls’ names and numbers on them that fall into the catch-all bowl by the door with his keys, you don’t forget that besotted daze he falls into the moment he sees you. So when you ask for something, he delivers without fail.
Abiding by your urge, his hips move briskly, pistoning into you as fast as he can. Biceps tense, you can’t help but let your hands slip there, gripping onto the muscle and has you wondering fuck, how did you get so lucky? He’s hot, cute, sweet, loving and geez, he could fuck. He’s so clumsy, so dumb sometimes, but he’s so freaking lovable it makes you sick. Lovesick.
His pretty eyes shut close, you notice, because those two cups of hot chocolate are gone and he’s chewing on his bottom lip as he groans, ends of his hair that brush over his eyes now drenched in sweat. His skin glistens underneath the dim lights, and he reminds you of the stars in the night sky—so gorgeous, so special. Always a sight to see.
“Fuck,” the not-so-innocent boy curses (even though he just said you curse too much) “Baby, you just got so tight. Are you about to cum?”
“Possibly,” you manage to say, still attempting to play games even though Mingyu could very so threaten to steal your orgasm away from the tip of your fingers. But when he slightly shifts in the midst of his pounding, you let out a raspy, “Almost,” because he’s rubbing against your nub incessantly that you’re losing all your focus.
When you finally see those stars, you let go.
Mingyu feels this, grunting when you convulse around his dick, head dropping to watch you tug and tug around him, begging for him to cum. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long because after a couple thrusts, he stills, spilling ropes of cum into the condom and dropping the entirety of his weight onto you, face snug into the crook of your neck once again.
“I—“
“You’re heavy.”
“Fuck, baby, we just had sex and that’s the first thing you say?”
He can’t see you, but there’s a smile on your face. “Yeah. And you got my couch all sticky from your sweat. Not to mention the cum. Are you gonna clean it after?”
Mingyu doesn’t care. He’s blissful. He’s happy. He knows you’re going to toss a damp rag at him later, despite his dick out and still drenched in your arousal, and tell him to ‘wipe down the fucking couch because that’s gross.’
All because he knows that you love him.
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moxfirefly · 3 years
Note
Heya👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼
I’ve been reading your works for a while now lemme tell you they’re just immaculate ✨😩💕
Can you write raphale x fem!reader by recreating that one scene from hell boy where Red stalks Liv through her date? 😂 but later on he listens that reader turned the guy down because she has feelings for “someone” :3 ending it with a very sensuous kiss with our grumpy teddy bear?
Friend my two favorite red boys? Recreating an iconic scene? Um heck yes I can!
It’s a fairly simple little thing so I hope you enjoy
Rated Fluff!
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Raph had contemplated throwing many a criminal off of the Empire State Building, with good reason of course!
But man, did he not have a reason for this schmuck, aside from purely petty and selfish desires. The so called schmuck in question had been buying some pretzels off of the cart closest to his eyesight. Raph was on the roof top surveying him, he watched with a snarl as the more than average joe ordered two and gingerly went to a girl on the sidewalk.
Said girl was the reason Raph could sometimes barely breath.
It was you, his dearest friend and absolute crush.
He saw you smile and accept the tasty treat, he watched those perfect lips wrap around the treat and scrunch up. “Idiot she doesn’t like the salted kind” Raph huffed out exasperated, you were more of a hot dog type of gal accompanied by a tall soda. With a sneer he saw the two of you begin to walk and thus he began to follow up ahead through the rooftops.
On the streets you walked leisurely with your work friend, he was a mild mannered guy, wouldn’t hurt a fly type but not really your type. Well, there wasn’t exactly a manner for you to explain that your type happened to be 6”6, bright green and with anger issues. Truth be told you had accepted the evening invitation from your co-worker to sort of rile Raph up, you’d told your friend several times this was purely a friend outing and nothing. More but deep down he truly thought he could sway your decision.
“So how’s everything in the secret life of y/n?” Your friend chuckled, it was known around work that you barely spoke out on your post-work activities.
“Oh you know me? Running around the sewers with giants turtles” Your friend almost choked through his pretzel with a laugh, if only he knew. “Man you’re way funnier than you think, you should hang out more with everyone after work... Unless you got some secret boyfriend I don’t know about” He waggled his brows but you knew bait when you saw it.
Up above, Raph wanted to pancake the guy. He wasn’t too proud but he had asked Donnie to hack your phone so he could listen in and each poorly delivered pick up line the schmuck casted towards you made him want to hurl. Unbeknownst to him though, Donnie was playing double agent and had confided in you about Raph wanting to listen in, which worked perfectly in your favor.
“Wanna go to Central Park? We could go on one of those carriage rides, my treat?” Once again Raph growled annoyed at his attempts to be flirty and set the mood.
“Oh my god ya bozo, she hates dumb romance tropes like that” And true to his words you politely declined. “Told ya, loser” He smirked as you shook some of the salt off of your pretzel.
“Come on y/n, dump this chump he ain’t got no business with ya” Raph pulled the comm closer to his ear and watched you switch your weight from foot to foot. “Listen Brad, I appreciate the pretzel and night time stroll but I really want you to understand that I don’t see you as more than just a friend” Raph shook a fist triumphantly as he heard your firm statement. “That’s my girl” He whispered as he saw Brad’s dumb face breakout into a smile.
“So you do have a boyfriend?” He stated rather ironically, as if this was just another common lie thrown at him. “I mean if that’s the case, then where is he? If I had a girl like you on my arm I wouldn’t miss a step with you” The charms were on high with this one, Raph had six seconds where he truly wanted to come down there and show his scrawny ass a thing or two.
But instead he saw you furrow your brow.
“Who says he isn’t?” You stated flatly, tossing the paper near a trash can. Brad’s brow shot up, confusion now playing on his features. “Um, are you telling me your so called boyfriend is following us?” His incredulous chuckle didn’t break your poker face, in fact you went even more serious.
“Think about it, Brad. I don’t talk to anybody after work, I skulk off in secret, the phone calls? The texts? The secrecy? Come on you’re a smart man” Each statement made him pale and Raph had to hold his guffaws, he loved how good you could trick people like this.
“Y/n what are you saying?” Brad’s gaze looked about, the unknown settling upon him.
Time to scare the bejezus out of him.
So you mouthed the word, ‘The Mob’ and watched Brad’s eyes widen.
“The Mob?!” He shouted and you shushed him. That’s it, Raph was going to laugh so hard he would have stomach pains all through the night.
“Jesus Brad broadcast it to the NYPD why don’t you? My guy’s got five outstanding warrants, that’s why he isn’t here with his arm around me, but trust me, nobody messes with Raphael Montasantis girl” You never once broke character, you could be an actress with how good you were selling this. Raph didn’t miss the name, a little flip scooped up his insides and he so didn’t miss The Soprano’s reference you threw in there, the two of you had been binge watching it after all.
Brad looked close to sweating, maybe even puking up his pretzel. A car honked and he almost jumped out of his skin. You placed a hand on his arm and smile. “So please understand, it’s for your own safety too, insanely jealous my Raphael.... very skilled with knives too my guy” The last bit was whispered, a little gleam in your eyes and Raph felt a little too hot with that.
A hasty few words and goodbye later, you and Raph from your respective spots watched the man power walk and then jog down the sidewalk. Once out of eyesight, you started to laugh and the sound rang through Raph like cold glass of water, he loves hearing you laugh.
He saw you cut through an alley and he followed, making sure you wouldn’t have your night ruined with some thug. In the alley away from the pedestrians he watched you stop and look up towards the roof, he hid.
“Come on, Raph” You said with a smile.
The red banded brute peaked out, had he been that careless? Once up from his hideout he sighed and made the decent towards you. He was sheepish, hand scratching the back of his head with mild embarrassment. “Listen I wasn’t being a creep, I just didn’t want that lame ass touching you or anything” It was halfway a truth, he was just being a concerned.... well a concerned friend.
You shook your head and took out the hacked phone and waved it at him. “Like my little story?” Oh boy, that double crossing nerd brother of his. He flicked off the comm and looked about, suddenly enthralled by trash cans. “What story? I dunno what ya talking about” Man his poker face wasn’t half way as good.
“Oh? The one about my boyfriend, Raphael, being a high ranking mobster? Man I’m pretty proud of that one, what a shame” You approached him slowly.
“Alright, yeah... Was pretty funny” He saw you stop in front of him, a sneaky grin playing on your beautiful lips. “Raph, you really don’t know how to take a hint, do ya?” You furrowed your brows and yanked him down by the straps on his plastron, lips connected with his own and the ability for thought and speech left his brain.
You, y/n, was kissing him. Mutant freak rage ball, Raphael. His eyes stayed comically wide as you deepened the kiss, but once he felt your small hand wrap behind his neck, he couldn’t help himself and just pick you up. Your feet dangled. Strong arms held you by the waist and getting to feel his strength had you pushing your thighs together. When your tongue poked his bottom lip, he went on autopilot and mimicked as you did. Raph was a quick learned, his lips felt so peculiar and the scars added a wonderful sensation and contrast. With a soft tug to his bottom lip, which produced a delightful grunt, you watched him through half lidded eyes.
“Do you get it now, numb nuts?” You parroted one of his favorite names to call Mikey.
In his hazy high from his first kiss, all Raph could do was nod robotically.
“Can we do that again?” He asked rather shyly, to which you happily obliged by kissing him once more.
583 notes · View notes
keimisan · 3 years
Text
↪ I wish I were heather - m.sano
pairing: manjiro sano x gn!reader
— in which mikey knows you're not his to hold.
words: 781
songs: heather- conan gray can we kiss forever- kina
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Maybe it wasn’t akin to the future he dreamed of, maybe it turned out to be rather presumptuous, maybe rather too contradictory to what he wanted- maybe none at all. But he, in his normal state of mind, had never thought that his flower of hopes, dwindles of his deepest sentiments, and love of his comforts would get swayed this easily by none other than his closest friend.
He knew it wasn’t mitsuya’s fault, none at all, since all he did was exist as the extremely talented being as he is; live on life as if he was arranging scattered pieces of cards little by little - and beautifully.
Maybe that was what attracted you as well, the subtle carefreeness in the midst of amusement and the serious, committed gaze of his eyes while at work. Maybe he fed your sempiternal need for perfection in life, the need for sequence, and the need for a flutter.
mikey wanted to be that person to you. He wanted to be the sunlight that smothers you in the morning, to be the smooth lukewarm wind in the autumn, and to be the vague inspiration that motivates you to go on in the middle of the night. Maybe it was all too selfish of him in regards to hopes of finding himself beside you, laughing and smiling with him under all verdancy of affection.
love me, love me.
But turned out you were a floating feather of a river that remained drenched in honeyed and sweet waters; swirled into paradisiac patterns unguided by anyone else- like the subtle fleeting of a ballerina- and you wished, you looked for someone to take you to the shore and offer you a path of guidance, to show you a world full of rhapsodies.
And he. He was the same. The same but a little more ragged piece of feather adrift at sea with no direction and no one to salvage him. He was lost, terrified and a neglect that no one would opt to extricate from the prickling swamp of world’s existence. Of course, you didn’t want him, an imperfection. Of course, you wanted the hand that lifted you up from the waters and showed you the tips of mountains and grass, the baedeker to your lost old map. But his mind screamed the same old words,
love me, love me.
So when he accepted the premeditated fate of rejection and still, with firm footsteps, approached you- completely knowing that his wishes were akin to a butterfly finding warmth in winter, like an ancient prisoner wanting more than stale bread, like a human lost in ocean desiring sweet river water - he knew it was hopeless, useless and everything on that line; but his persistent will told him to get this off his chest. So he did.
He brought a single rose to you and his trembling lips, dry as a dead leaf, enunciated, I am wanting an island in place of a cottage, I know it’s too much of me to ask. Even though you won’t reciprocate, I will say. —"I like you, have liked you since the day we held hands" — and the night you fetched clean snow, for me, to make a snowman I believed wasn’t possible. So I will say, you are my hope. And even if you won’t let me be yours, you’ll forever be my sunlight of hopes.
love me, love me.
And then you laughed, quite loudly and nonchalantly. Your head tipping back, while your eyes crinkled like a crescent moon and your lips, took him as a boffola.
“you must be joking. I’m sure there are others behind that rake waiting to laugh.”
He didn’t want to break that beautiful smile of yours, or the jubilant sparkle of your eyes that considered his words to be a travesty to the expression of love- he didn't want to break your propitious presumption and utter the words better left unsaid.
While your smile paints the sky with colors more than his palette has ever smeared, more than the rainbows can ever hold- he looks down to the black ground, the sentiments at the back of his eyes threatening, brooding above his heart.
“this is not a joke.”
While your eyes, are on the dark sky above, he mutters something much heavier than the steady night could shoulder; something much darker than the dawn could challenge, something much saner than the turbulence of his heart. In the cold chilly night. He whispers that he’s okay, that he’s alright with the curve of your lips, alright with your happiness that wasn’t him.
He whispers that he didn’t need the love that wrecked your happiness to shards, shards even mitsuya can’t put together.
‘love me, love me.’
'love me, not him, love me, not him.'
He whispers to the cold wind.
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hobidreams · 3 years
Text
june 1869.
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you’ve never been able to hide from him.
pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: smut, angst, fluff? words: 2.3k contains: choices, consequences.
moonlit throne index. this is drabble 21. start from the beginning?
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The moment you reach your private chambers, you collapse against the door. Your heart softly shudders with strain as you finally let the first tears fall, trickling steadily down your cheeks. The bundles you carried in fall to the floor as you cover your face with your cold hands, trying to stifle the quiet sobs that seem so determined to come.
You had gone into town after your work today. Walked down, escorted by a guard that you pretended wasn’t there. (The king now insisted upon such a thing whenever you left the palace walls, but you could tell the guard thought the job much beneath him.) You had just finished picking up a few ingredients from the market traders and was on your way to see if the bookstore had received new products when your attention had been caught by the sizeable crowd gathered outside the town clinic.
“Please, please, give me medicine for my daughter!” The peasant woman clutched a child that couldn’t have been more than two years old. The babe’s crying was as raucous as the yelling, the noisy mix of voices all clamoring with want.
“I need to see someone! My side— It hurts every day. I can’t work anymore. My family’s going to starve. I need treatment!”
The physician’s assistant stood on the clinic steps with folded arms and a bitter, hard look on his face. “Are we running a charity? We need to eat too! If you can’t pay, you can’t see the doctor!” He slammed the door in their faces, leaving them out in the sweltering heat, crying out that they could pay next week or as soon as they could, they just needed help right now, but the door remained shut.
Your chest felt stiflingly tight at the sight, compassion’s hand squeezing hard around your heart because you knew you could help. You had to help. You took a step forward, ready to offer your services only to have the guard block your way.
“Su-uinyeo-nim. We must return to the palace.”
“No, I want to stay.”
He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. They could harm you.” And if they did, then his own head would likely be on the chopping block. Ridiculous.
“They won’t. They just need treatment, and I’m a physician.” You didn’t have many of your tools here but you could at least take a look, provide a diagnosis or recommend some easily obtainable herbs.
“The king would not approve of putting yourself in danger.”
You opened your mouth only to shut it. The king wouldn’t approve of a lot of things, but how could you just stand here and do nothing? These people, they needed your skills.
You took another step forward.
“Su-uinyeo-nim.” The guard’s voice was firm. He indicated for you to start walking away, towards home.
You shot him a stare, the hardest look you could conjure, but didn’t move. Not yet, damn it.
“Oh—uinyeo-nim!”
You dallied long enough. One of the women had evidently recognized your outfit and was now barreling towards you with a fire in her eyes. “Uinyeo-nim, you can help me, right!? It’s my daughter, she’s been having a fever and—”
“No, she cannot.” The guard’s glare was as sharp as the blade that the hand on his sword promised.
“Oh, please!” She threw herself against the arm the guard tried to reign her in with. Threw herself forward trying to reach you. “My daughter, my daughter will die if she’s not treated!”
“Let me—” You started, only for the guard to shove her harshly back since he could not do the same to you. She cried out, almost toppling over from the force as she clutched her baby, but he did not relent.
“We are leaving.”
He began to boldly walk towards you, practically into you, leaving you no choice in the matter. You were too afraid he might hurt her further if you did not comply even though every step away felt like a blow to your chest, like tiny fists pounding against your ribcage, making you sore and ache because the stark truth was that your inability to help her wasn’t even entirely the guard’s fault.
All those years ago, you chose to stay.
You never opened the affordable clinic mother had dreamed of. You put your feelings before the wellbeing of all those people you could have helped then, and you did it again today. Selfish. Selfish and helpless and selfish. For all the work you’ve done, it never feels like enough. There are always more patients in need and here you are, living among this extravagance and opulence but really getting nowhere. Not with the king. Not with how much change you can bring to the people.
Even your tears can only be shed here, in privacy and cowardice.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” you whisper through your blurry vision, but these are just words. They do nothing in the end and every choice feels like the wrong one and that there will only be dire consequences to follow them.
“Su-uinyeo-nim?”
At Eunuch Kim’s muted voice, you startle. Hurriedly, you wipe the backs of your hands against your eyes. “Y-Yes?”
“The king has requested your company tonight.”
“Oh.” Shit. You’re in no state to face him, not for what he has in mind, but you must go. “I-I’ll be ready in a few minutes. Just allow me to… change.” You push to your feet, onto shaky legs as you sniff.
“Of course.”
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The brief walk over in the cool summer evening helps to pull some of the sorrow from your mind (or at least tucks it away to be revisited later when you find yourself as always, alone). Eunuch Kim is kind enough not to probe into the heaviness about you today; he simply chats about the latest novel he has picked up in town, a study of birds that he recommends heartily to you. The king is not so kind. The second you enter his chambers, tilt your head just enough for him to catch your eye, he frowns.
“You’ve been crying.”
It’s not a question.
“I, um, simply had some dust in my eyes, jeonha.”
Searching for a distraction, you begin to undo the tie of your blouse. You’ve never purposefully let him see you openly upset, or at least not since this ‘arrangement’ began.
“Dust. Really.”
You nod, unwilling to meet his stare.
The floorboard creaks as he steps towards you. Covers your hands with his own so he can strip you instead. You can’t tell if he believes you; he is so quiet while he pulls layer after layer from you, letting the fabric drop to the floor in bunches of crumpled white and light blue. The warmth of his fingers on your skin feels like comfort, even when it’s only a prelude to his desire.
Isn’t it stupid, that some excessive part of you wants him to openly refute your lies even as you tell them? To undress your mind as hungrily he does your body until you have no choice but to be bared and free, released from the burden of your own thoughts?
“Get on the bed.”
Maybe it’s better like this. You are the only woman he has ever known in this way; you can’t let yourself be so greedy, to again let that selfish part of you want and want and want so much that appetite consumes you, bones and all. You press your palms and knees to the hard bedding. Squeeze your eyes together. Force the tears to stay back while you wait for the burn to come.
His calloused hands land on your waist, but it’s to urge you to turn over instead.
“J-Jeonha?” you question, confused when you see him already on his knees, that piercing gaze provoking goosebumps from your skin. “Why…”
His hands find your ass, urging you towards the edge of the bed. He throws the top layer of his robes aside before he spreads your legs apart, letting them rest against the wood.
What… What is he doing? You find your answer as the sokgot strips fall to the floor beneath his touch and abruptly, before your poor heart has time to prepare itself, his breath blows warm across your clit.
“Ah, this—!” Wild-eyed, you try to squirm back, hot with embarrassment that his face is this close to your crotch. It floods you with worry after worry about your scent, the possible bumps marring your skin, the tufts of hair, but he doesn’t seem to care about any of it as he hooks his hands beneath your thighs. “You’re not—”
Soft lips and a slick tongue are pressed flush against you.
Your entire body seems to quiver at the first lick; a single taste of wetness followed by a second, a third, a relentless fourth that makes liquid pleasure crest, surging upwards, a high, rushing tide in mere seconds. You buck, hands finding no support upon the sheets and part of you wants to cover your face instead, to let die the moans that surface with each gasp but that means you would miss the sight. This unforgettable sight: inky eyes between your thighs, the quick, pink tip of his tongue swiping heat directly into your veins. It feels messy before he finds his rhythm, settles into a beat that only reaffirms how he is irrefutably dominant even while he is on his knees before you, for once not breaking you apart but making you feel so dizzyingly whole you could burst.
While his fingers have learned almost every inch of you, this remains a scenario you never even thought to entertain, never even thought he would want. His pleasing only you. His putting you at the forefront of even his own satisfaction. Stop. The grip on your thigh tightens; you never want him to let go. Stop giving me hope. He does anyway with a drawn out suck, his stare as hazy and heady as if he’s been drinking the most exquisite cheongju.
Your body is taut, sweat beading down your spine. “This is— I can’t—”
“You can,” he quips back, and whatever words you could have said are stolen by orgasm. Taken, and made unbecoming moans that blow past the last shreds of your resistance now resting between his teeth.
It overwhelms you, this newfound sensitivity from being consumed; it makes you want to shirk back but he doesn’t let you. Somehow one of your legs finds its way over his shoulder and he uses that momentum to keep you against his stunning mouth, giving you what you need but never what you want. Each lick nudges you further off the edge, finding an acute bliss past every limitation you thought you had and you think, feverishly you think — it’s like he’s giving you permission to fall apart.
Tears coalesce at the corner of your eyes but you don’t notice. You don’t even know they’re there until wetness trails down your cheeks and even then you’re distracted by another peak, this one a muted swell that makes your muscles tense around his thin frame; he supports your weight without a word of complaint as his strokes finally dwindle in time with your pulses until both drop off entirely.
As he lets your leg roll off his arm, his breaths come almost as unsteadily as yours. Slowly, he retracts his wide hands from your thighs. Rolling his tongue against the inside of his own cheek, you watch him paint your taste in his mouth and don’t know what to make of any of it.
It’s only when a few tears cling to your eyelashes and blur your vision that you realize what’s happening. How embarrassing. You told yourself you wouldn’t do this on the way here and look at you now. You’re about to reach up to wipe away the tears, the damning evidence of your weakness when the king wraps his hands tight around your wrists. Pushes you back. Presses his knees to the bed as he hovers above you, all silence and heat and him.
“Um, j-jeon—”
He leans down and cuts you off with a kiss.
You gasp into his mouth but he doesn’t pull away. He is just soft, persistent, firm, and soft as he moves naturally across territory that should have been unfamiliar, but instead it feels like he’s been mapping, planning this capture for as long as you have. An impossible dream, yes, but the warm breath ghosting across your skin, lingering, is real. You open for him. For your first kiss. Your first kiss with him.
The warm fingers at your wrist squeeze harder.
“You… You can cry.” His voice is a murmur, delicate and hesitant against your lips, as if imparting a secret. “If you want.”
So you do.
You finally let yourself cry while he kisses you again and again, adjusting his angle to push you further into the pillows, releasing a wrist to cup your wet cheek. He kisses you with his nose pressed to yours, a tiny, precious moan finding freedom from someone’s throat.
Yoongi, your mind recalls, clinging to the syllables that belong to a word you’ve never dared to say aloud as he kisses you, kisses you, kisses you until both your mouths are swollen and your chest feels a bit lighter, his a bit heavier in exchange.
And when he finally pulls away, he holds you. His arms accept all your gravity for just a few lingering minutes more, a few heartbeats more, until it’s time for you to go.
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goodqueenaly · 2 years
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I read your post about Robert not necessarily being a better Lord of stormsend than king, do you think he was a better King earlier in his reign? How affected was he by baelish and varys and twyin just personally looking out for themselves and as a by-product fucking up everything up for everyone else? Do you think about *his* small council making ruling EXTRA tedious since they're "the worst?" If Robert had ned in kings landing earlier, would things have deteriorated to that state?
To be clear, Tywin was never on the small council during Robert's reign, and so would not have been directly influencing any crown policy. Likewise, while Littlefinger certainly was named master of coin at some point, the timeline on that appointment is somewhat unclear; it's no question that his massive embezzlement and scheming negatively affected the stability of the crown, but it is difficult to say how long either was going on for.
Anyway, I don't give Robert a pass on ruling, no matter what "evil councilors" he had on staff (and let's be clear as well, Robert was not entirely surrounded by selfish and/or amoral people; his Hand was the devoted and (at least outwardly) honorable Jon Arryn, while his master of ships was Stannis, who, his personal bitterness aside, considered it his duty to serve Robert as his elder brother). Robert was acclaimed and had accepted the crown on that acclamation; from that moment, he had a responsibility to rule well. The buck stopped with Robert as king. If there were bad councilors, it was on Robert to sack them and replace them with better people. If there was corruption, it was on Robert to find it out, put a stop to it, and sack whoever was behind it. Trying and failing to do such work might be pardoned, to an extent - but the major problem with Robert, and we see this consistently with him, is that he did not bother to try.
Indeed, one of the key characteristics of Robert's personality, I think, is that Robert avoided dealing with uncomfortable situations, giving in to the easy solution so that he could go back to having fun. His response to Cersei's demand for Lady's death at Darry was not a firm no, but an irritated shrug and acquiescence. When Cersei wanted Jaime named Warden of the East, Robert simply gave in to the demand, even though he knew such an appointment would cause serious contention with both Jon Arryn's bannermen and Ned. His response to being confronted by Jon Arryn with evidence of Janos Slynt's corruption was to laugh, keep Janos in office, and say that "'[t]hey all steal ... [b]etter a thief we know than one we don't, the next man might be worse'". He didn't order the deaths of Rhaenys and Aegon (as well as Elia, naturally), but he accepted those corpses without punishing the murderers because acceptance was the easy solution: he could satisfy his desire to rid the world of Targaryens without acknowledging any responsibility for the murders of children (and their mother). When every member of his small council (save Barristan) was urging Robert to murder the pregnant Daenerys, Ned's defiance - and, specifically, Ned's attempt to force Robert to accept the harsh truth of what ordering the murder a child would mean - was almost literally unacceptable to Robert; it was easier for him to yell Ned out of the room (following the latter's resignation) than to consider the ethical consequences of the proposed action. He lied or made excuses about his abusive relationship with Cersei, because he would not face the deeply disturbing truth that he was someone who violently abused his wife on a regular basis. Robert did not want to face consequences, full stop, especially if those consequences would lead him to more work and (what he saw as) more trouble.
I don't think Robert was capable of being a good king, and I think that was as true on day one of his reign as on the last day. Robert had always been "a man who knew how to take his pleasures", a man who was happiest when everyone around him was smiling and making him feel good about himself. The worst thing you can do for someone with that kind of personality is put that person in a position of ultimate power where no one is going to (openly) defy or question that person. From the moment he became king, Robert was in a position to indulge in whatever he wanted, without having to listen to anyone else - because, after all, who is going to tell the king what to do? This is not to say Robert was a complete and utter failure: Robert was exactly the sort of leader both his eponymous rebellion and the Greyjoy Rebellion needed, a strong and savvy military commander whose personal touch and bravery could inspire others to his cause. However, Robert did not have the personality to be a just executive, and that is a failing on Robert's part. The blame is to be laid precisely at Robert's feet for Robert's failures as king.
Nor do I think Ned would have been the panacea for Robert's troubles. Again, Robert's personality was Robert's to fix, not someone else's. Jon Arryn - Robert's beloved foster father, the man who had raised Robert as a son and gone to war to defend him, the man most situated for Robert to see as an elder statesman and paternal advisor - did not keep Robert from the same sort of inattention and consequence-avoidance I outlined above (even if he did manage to keep Robert from ordering assassins against Viserys and Daenerys); why would Ned, Robert's childhood best friend, do any differently? (And this is without pointing out that Ned himself doesn't seem to have understood the role of Hand.)
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goingmorry · 3 years
Text
Trafalgar Law [A-Z Alphabet Fluff]
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Synopsis: How is Trafalgar Law like as your romantic partner? 💖
Count: 2813 words
Activities
Reading. Law is an avid reader. He loves to read all kinds of material, both fiction and non-fiction, such as short stories, novels, comics, articles, news, and medical textbooks. As such, you took it upon yourself to read together with him. During nights, when the rest of the crew retires to their quarters, you and Law take turns reading to each other. As your quiet and gentle voice fills the silent room, Law visibly relaxes. A faint but genuine smile graces his normally impassive features. When it's his turn to read, you enjoy the calm and soothing nature of his voice.
Resting/pillow talk. While Law is known to suffer from insomnia, he enjoys resting in bed together with you. This is usually accompanied with reading, but when you're both exhausted, both of you lie together in silence or in hushed sounds through light conversations. For the most part, you talk while Law listens. Law also tends to overwork himself so you being with him ensures that he unwinds for the day.
Medical assistance. Law is the doctor of the ship. As such, one of his primary duties is to perform both minor and major medical procedures when his crew sustains injury. He typically doesn't need assistance to conduct his minor medical duties; however, your insistence in helping him whenever possible has prompted him to seek your support. Despite your lack of medical knowledge, Law is not opposed to instructing you. You've proven yourself to be a reliable assistant. Truthfully, he enjoys having you adopt a nurse role by his side.
Beauty
Your compassion. Despite Law's outwardly aloof demeanor, he finds your kindness endearing. He’s used to incessantly berating you during the many times when you put your life in danger to save others; however, he's resigned to the fact that your compassion for others is one of your defining qualities. It's what drew him to you after all.
Comfort
Law is perceptive. He can tell when you're feeling down, and he can definitely tell when you're about to have a panic attack. He's quick to shift to his doctor persona, guiding you through breathing exercises as you breathe in and breathe out while slowly coming to your senses.
Law is not overly affectionate, but if you desire hugs or other forms of physical contact, he will give them to you without hesitation. You have his undivided attention.
When you recover, Law is cautiously optimistic and takes your vitals. He asks if you're feeling better and if you'd like to talk about it, but he's not forceful if you're not willing to disclose information to him.
Dreams
In the moment. Law is happy to live in the moment with you. Thinking of the future unnerves him, as his carefully arranged plans do not always develop the way he expects them to.
Fate. Just like his meeting with Cora-san during the most tragic part of his life, he believes meeting you was fate. Your fates were intertwined from the moment you first encountered each other, and they will continue to be until the day both of you breathe your last.
Equal
Dominant. Law has expressed his aversion for being told what to do. As the Captain of the Heart Pirates, he prefers to issue orders. While his dominance extends toward your relationship, this doesn't mean that he doesn't respect and value your opinions. He treats you fairly, as an equal, always making sure he listens to your input when you have something to say.
Law is dominant but not overbearing. As someone whose freedom was stripped away the moment he was born due to the Amber Lead disease, Law would never dream of taking away your freedom in any capacity.
Fight
Forgiving. It might surprise you to know that Law is an extremely forgiving person. He understands that couples get into disagreements; it's natural. So long as you don't betray his trust, he is willing to forgive and learn from most arguments.
Law usually appears collected when arguing with you; however, he loses his cool when you are quick to put yourself in harm's way. Law is not one to hold resentment after making up with you, preferring to be with you here and now.
Gratitude
Attentive. Law is aware of what you do for him. You try to be subtle, but he's quick to catch on. He tries to keep a calm façade, but he's overwhelmed with affection for you on the inside. You can expect him to snuggle closer to you tonight.
Law shows his gratitude indirectly. "Here. I got this on the way to town," he says, handing you a bag of your favorite sweets. He doesn't say it, but he loves watching your face light up in excitement at the prospect of stuffing your cheeks with delicious desserts.
Honesty
Although Law is honest, he tends to fill you in with the details after the fact. He doesn't do this out of malice but out of necessity. As Captain of the Heart Pirates, ally of the Strawhat Pirates, and a member of the Worst Generation, his life is in constant jeopardy. Now, with you by his side, he's paranoid and won't risk being caught off-guard until the threats have been neutralized. He prefers to do now and talk later.
When reminiscing about the past—as it relates to his childhood in Flevance and being under the care of the Donquixote family, specifically Cora-san—he struggles to share these painful memories. Although he opens up to you eventually, he won't willingly share all the moments when something reminds him of his past. How your kindness reminds him of Cora-san. How your love for festivals reminds him of Lami. He refuses to burden you with these thoughts.
Inspiration
Law is kind. Cora-san's sacrifice made sure of that.
Although Law regained his humanity, he doesn't put himself out there to assist others in need if doing so will jeopardize his plan. Instead, your insistence to help others forces his hand.
While Law believes that pirates should not do kind things, his actions contradict his statement. He will honor the Hippocratic Oath and use his Devil Fruit powers (Ope-Ope no Mi) to treat others to the best of his ability.
Law takes issue with being seen as a kind person by strangers. He refuses to accept others gratitude. When confronted, he will make up an excuse in an effort to portray himself as a selfish and ruthless pirate. Regardless, the recipients of his acts of kindness are not fooled.
Jealousy
Watchful. Law is protective. How could he not be when you look so radiant? So full of life, warmth, and affection? He trusts you. It's strangers he doesn't trust. He's worried other people will take advantage of your benevolence.
He deals with his jealousy by keeping you in his sight whenever feasible. If he can't be with you, he'll ask his crewmembers to accompany you. The life of piracy is a dangerous one, so one can never be too certain if danger lurks around the corner. "It's best to be prepared," Law states decisively.
Kiss
Great kisser. Law did not have any prior romantic experiences prior to being in a relationship with you; however, since then, he's had a lot of time to practice. He's able to perfectly balance sucking, biting and using his tongue when kissing you. When he initiates a kiss that's more than a peck on the lips, such as kissing your erogenous zones, it leads to a full-blown makeout session.
First kiss. Law's lips moved hesitantly over yours, his tattooed fingers skimming your blushing cheek, before deciding to gently cradle the side of your face. You were pleasantly surprised at how soft his lips were considering his roughened exterior. The kiss remained tentative at first, both you and him feeling overwhelmed with each other's company. You weren't certain when his hand moved from the side of your face to the back of your head. You felt his calloused fingers interweave with your flowing hair, lightly tugging until you opened your mouth to moan softly. Law deepened the kiss by slipping his teasing tongue inside, eager to hear more of your voice as you moaned for him once more.
Love Confession
You are the first to express your love for him. Law is flabbergasted. How could someone, as kind as you are, have romantic feelings for a man like him? It's a dangerous thought, one he refuses to answer. Meanwhile, Sengoku's words in Dressrosa echo in his head. "Don't ever attach a reason to someone's love." His recklessness presents itself and he allows himself to act.
Staring at you with you such longing in his golden irises, he grabs your arm, intent on closing the distance between your bodies. His grip is gentle yet firm as he drags you over to him, and your face flushes under his observant gaze. Although you were nervous, you refuse to break eye contact, determined to show him how sincere you were. Law responds by molding your eager lips against his. After all, actions speak louder than words.
Marriage
Indifferent. There is no doubt that Law loves you; however, he is indifferent about marriage. If you bring it up as a discussion point to him, he will start to consider the prospect of marriage life. Growing up, he’s seen how happy his parents were, and how much love and affection they showed him and Lami. He wonders if that reality is plausible for him too.
Once the way has been paved for the New Generation of Pirates, Law proposes. In the Captain’s Quarters of the Polar Tang, he presents you with a small velvet box with an inscrutable expression on his face. His golden eyes betray him as they waver in intensity, carefully scrutinizing your face and eyes for movement, for your reaction during this vulnerable moment. When Law proposes, it’s direct and sincere. No flowery language. He speaks from the heart.  “Marry me. I love you.” You were more than happy to oblige.
Being married to Law is primarily the same as it was when you were dating—with two differences being the wedding rings in your left hands, and that you can now refer to one another as a wedded couple.
Nicknames
Law doesn’t use nicknames. He prefers to address you by your actual name. Prior to being in a relationship with you, he addresses you by your epithet as described in your wanted poster. Now, “S/O-ya” is his go-to.
On Cloud Nine
Inconspicuous. Law is the king of keeping your relationship concealed to strangers. While Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin were the first to discover your relationship with the Captain, the rest of the Heart Pirates weren’t aware of your relationship with Law until one year in. Outside the privacy of your bedroom, don’t expect anything more than occasional longing glances passed between each other.
When Law falls in love, he does so gradually. He doesn’t mean to fall in love until he realizes that you have been increasingly pervading his thoughts. At this point, he's in denial. Love is an inconvenience, a weakness that will distract him from his goal in finding the true meaning of the Will of D.
Law eventually comes to terms with his love for you. He feels undeserving, attempting to distance himself from you until you confront him about his aloof behavior. Your stubbornness convinces him that he can't escape. A smile tugs on the corner of his lips before he can stop himself.
PDA
Discreet. You can expect your relationship with Law to be on the down-low. Most people, outside of his crewmates, won't be able to tell that he's in a relationship as he treats you the same way as he would a member of his crew. If people observe him long enough, they'll be able to catch his eyes as they settle on you, wandering a little too long on your form, from across the room.
On the off-chance that someone asks about your relationship with him, Law won't explicitly confirm or deny his relationship with you. He's afraid that word will spread that he’s found a lover, leading to his enemies targeting you to get to him.
Quirk
Competitive. While Law doesn't willingly participate in contests, he finds himself reluctantly dragged into them by you. Due to his physical prowess and mental aptitude, Law is quite skilled in winning a variety of competitions, such as carnival games, trivias, and sports events. He gives the prizes he wins from them to you as a reward for cheering him on.
Romance
Cliché. Prior to being in a relationship with you, Law does not familiarize himself with the ways of courting. Hesitantly, he approaches Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin for advice on how to woo you. Within five seconds of that decision, Law regrets it as the trio begin to pester him with the details of your affair. He knows they mean well, but he can't help his annoyance. "You can't go wrong with flowers and chocolates, Captain," the trio states. He glares at them in acknowledgment, gathering the aforementioned gifts, away from prying eyes.
Law quickly learns that if he wants to make you happy, he needs to be upfront and ask you directly. He is thoughtful, tailoring his gifts toward your preferences. You do the same.
Support
Supportive. Having spent over a decade planning for Donquixote Doflamingo's downfall, Law understands what it means to be committed to achieving one's ambitions. He has nothing but belief in your ability to achieve your goals. With him by your side, he will do everything in his power to assist you. You need only ask.
Thrill
Routine. Law doesn't have the liberty to ponder over new and creative ways to show his love for you. You and him have settled into a comfortable routine. If you're feeling neglected, he expects you to be direct with him. He's not opposed to trying out new things to spice up your relationship; however, he's not a creative man so you should expect to be the one to initiate and propose new ideas.
Understanding
Law is an observant man. He understands you as a person, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what motivates you. He also has an exceptional memory and has made it a point to remember your favorites and your least favorites as they come up in conversation.
Having experienced pain and grief through losing his loved ones, Law is especially empathetic to those who have suffered the same fate.
Value
Above all else. The love Law has for you is different to the love he has for his crew—his nakama. He loves you above all other things in his life. He is reckless, but knowing that you love him and will never forgive him for being negligent with his life makes him value himself more.
You are worthy of his love, but often times, he thinks to himself, is he worthy of yours?
Wild Card
Law enjoys brushing your hair. He loves the feel of your silky smooth hair and the way you hum in contentment under his care. His hands are always so gentle as he grasps your hair, treating you with a delicacy one can expect from a pirate handling their most prized treasure, which adds to the intimacy of the act.
XOXO
Law is not overly affectionate. Prior to being with you, he was touch-starved. Expect to be the first to initiate intimacy. Kissing and cuddles took some time to get used to. But once that period passes, Law does not hesitate to initiate romance by trailing kisses along your neck, playing with your hair, and feeling your smooth skin beneath your clothes. He prefers the privacy of his quarters when showing you any sort of physical affection.
Yearning
On the surface, Law hides his yearning for you well. During times of separation, he thinks of you as he lies in bed. He thinks of your warmth, your body heat combined with his as you snuggle against each other underneath the comfort of your bed. He thinks of your lips, curled up in a carefree smile, turning into subdued laughter. He returns your mirth with a smile of his own. He thinks of your face and how much he wants to caress your cheeks, feel the smooth skin beneath the roughness of his fingertips. He misses how your face would warm up in response to his touch, how you lean into him, eager for more. He reaches out instinctively, before realization kicks in. You weren't here. He misses you.
Zeal
Law is willing to go to great lengths for your relationship. He's grieved so much at such a young age from losing his mother, father, Lami, and Cora-san. His life is yours. He'll be damned if anyone stands in the way of him and you.
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skiyoosmi · 3 years
Text
if fate permits
⤷ chapter twenty three: seesaw
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Eerie. If there was one word to describe your current situation with Atsumu, that would exactly be the perfect term for it. As you sat across one another in a booth in a restaurant that Osamu apparently found for him (he says it’s the “best place” for the both of you to properly make up, you called it the “Osamu utters another bullshit” place), you find yourself unequipped of words to tell him, something you found odd considering you never had any dull or awkward moment with him. Well, at least not until our feelings got in the way, you thought, letting out a quiet sigh as you poked your food with the fork, completely aware of the stare that the blonde holds on you.
He fidgets in his seat, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to form his words because what else can he say aside from apologies (that he thinks are probably useless given that right after saying sorry, he finds another way to hurt you)? He doesn’t really have any other choice though so he takes a deep breath and begins his sentence, “YN, I’m really so-”
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence or I might just stab you with this,” you cut him off, waving the fork you were holding in his face, snickering at his wide eyes that was accompanied by a large gulp. You put it down and place your chin on your hand, leaning your head towards it as you stared him down (more like glare, in his perspective), “Just wanna let you know, this will be the last apology I’ll ever get and accept.”
Observing the confusion that became more and more evident in his face, you continue, “Because if you hurt me one more time, then that’s it. I’m really gonna cut off my ties with you because that just proves to me that everything about this,” you gesture towards you and him, “is not meant to be… as friends.”
Not even as soulmates. In a pathetic attempt to make everything seem like it’s fine, you grab the glass that was right by your arm; the harsh flow of cold water down your throat is not even close to beating the suffocation of the truth that dawned upon you. How ironic - everything is just a cycle that keeps on repeating over and over again yet for some reason, the agony remains all the same. It never gets less and if anything, becomes more to the point that it just torments you every single moment of your breath. Always so pathetic, YN, always.
“YN…” he trails off but you hold your hand up, letting him know that you were not yet finished.
“So, make sure that this is the last. You know we both deserve so much more than a friendship that keeps on pulling and pushing us. We weren’t like this before, Atsumu,” you state as a matter of fact, sadly smiling as he bowed his head down, “what happened to us?”
Deep down, you already knew the answer to your question. No matter how much you wanted to deny it, deny her entire existence, you can’t. Because that would mean denying Atsumu and the happiness he desires. Yet at the same time, you just can’t let go of him. 
“Yui happened,” he whispers, “I just… it’s inexcusable, the way I kept on pushing ya aside and hurting ya because of her… but I just… I thought she was her yanno? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate and Yui was just so bright and nice and I guess I got this hope in me that maybe she’s her… but she wasn’t and it’s so frustrating.” 
The disappointment and sadness in his face squeezed your heart that thumped against your chest, the longingness that had always resided within you struggling to get out and give him a hug. As he spilled his heart out to you, you couldn’t help the guilt that began spreading in your mind, he wasn’t the coward; you were. 
“It feels so frustrating to be so clueless every single time. I guess that’s why I took it out on ya, because I felt somewhat jealous that ya can see the threads and I can’t and for the rest of my life, I’ll be lost, wondering who my true soulmate is. And the fact that yer leaving me soon too… everything’s just so messy inside me, yanno? So I’m sorry for that, YN. I’m not excusing myself from the pain nor am I dismissing yer feelings but I hope ya understand where I’m coming from too,” he quietly speaks, fiddling with his fingers.
“Atsumu… I-”
“I said that but YN, I think I’m done waiting for my soulmate. I… I don’t want to seem selfish but… it has been too long of waiting… I’ve always tried to find them myself even though I don’t have abilities like yours. Thinking about it now, maybe they just don’t want to be found? Because if they did know me, wouldn’t they have told me right at the moment they met me? So, can’t you just cut off my thread please?”
And right at that moment, you felt your heart plummet down to the deepest and darkest abyss of your insides. He’s given up and you still can’t bring yourself to tell him the truth. I don’t want to give you up, please, not yet… You want to beg him; to just give you a little bit more time, a little bit more courage, a little bit more attention in hopes that he’ll see. Please, just look at me, look at me and you’ll find what you’ve been looking for, Tsum. 
But the desperation in his face reels you back to the reality that he doesn’t want you; he wants some other girl, someone who can never be you and you find your heart being engulfed with bitterness so you scoff and stand up, “This bullshit again? You’re making me lose my appetite and I am not about to have this conversation with you, Miya Atsumu. ”
He gapes at you, obviously surprised with the sudden change of mood. It was already going good a while ago but perhaps, it was the calm before the storm, ready to ruin the both of you, “YN! Wait up! Stop! Come back here!” 
He’s able to grab your wrist as soon as you get out of the restaurant, “Hey! Come on, I’m pretty sure the aftermath wouldn’t be that bad! Ya don’t need to be so uptight,” he pants. He never knew you can run that fast. But that’s totally not important at the moment because he can literally see steam coming out of your ears as you took a deep breath and turned around, eyebrows furrowed in anger.
“Uptight?! I’m in no way being uptight right now, Miya Atsumu! What you’re asking is… is dumb… outrageous… or nonsensical… AND dangerous!” you screamed, stuttering out of disbelief as the lad only looked at you with amusement. He chuckled; as much as he didn’t want to, he found your little tantrum cute. Your head whipped once again to his direction upon hearing his laugh, “you’re laughing?! Do you think asking me to cut off your thread is funny? You’re fucking ridiculous! Do you even know the consequences? Do you have no care for your soulmate?”
The grin leaves his face as he watches your eyes start to slowly but surely well up with tears, “Did you invite me just for this? Is this all you think our friendship is for? Jokes? Or the fact that I’m a fucking Moira who can fix your soulmate issues? I’m supposed to be your best friend before anything else, am I not?”
“Wait, no, YN… you know that’s not-”
“Because if you do think that way, you wouldn’t have thought about this in the first place because you’d know how much I despise cutting someone’s thread - have you even tried to think of what your soulmate will think? What would happen if she finds her thread cut off? You think she’d laugh too? She’ll just wake up one day with her thread being black, not even knowing what hap-”
“But she’s not here!” he screams, head down before he looked up, rage swimming in his eyes that even up to now, you still love, “She’s not here. And you’ve never even tried helping me find her so what makes you think you have a say on whether or not I should give up on meeting her? I’ve always asked for your help, didn’t I? But what? Every single fucking time, you reject the idea of me meeting her like it’s a plaque that will kill you.”
That’s because she’s always been here, I’ve always been here, idiot… is what you want to say but the painful truth of his words stopped you from retaliating further.
“She can find a new soulmate too! Y/N… please, I’m 100% serious about wanting to do this,” by now, any joke and teasing were gone from his voice as he begged the girl in front of him. But you were even more stubborn than him so you shook your head and crossed your arms, remaining firm on your stand.
“No. Stop being selfish, Tsum. It’s not always about your ‘needs’ and ‘wants.’ Breaking the bond… is something we mustn’t do, as much as possible. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret; I won’t let you,” you whispered, clutching sides of your skirt. Atsumu didn’t know what happened to him after that or why he stupidly chose to open his mouth again.
“You’re the one who’s being a selfish bitch, Y/N. Just because ya can’t find your soulmate and yer happiness, doesn’t mean we can’t too. You’re so needy that you can’t let us be happy without ya. I wonder what the gods thought when they gave you that power? Stupid gods, they can’t even do one thing right; giving it to a coward and a selfish bitch who can’t even cut her best friend’s thread for the sake of his happiness…” it was the crestfallen look plastered on your face that made him stop as soon as he saw it. Realization dawned upon him and immediately, he tried reaching out to you with his hand. 
Ah, I give up.
“It’s okay…” you choked, pulling back from him and taking a deep breath, no longer giving any effort to stop the tears that now freely flowed down your cheeks, “I understand. I’m sorry that I care for you then.”
He opens his mouth, ready to say yet another apology but he knows… he knows it was futile now. He watches you as you hastily wipe your cheeks from any tear stain but they kept on coming so you felt yourself get frustrated even more. Stop being so pathetic for once, YN, for god’s sake!
“You know, Atsumu? I always feel like we’re in a seesaw that just never stays balanced. It’s either one of us is on the top while the other’s down and it just… gets so fucking tiring trying to understand you.” You took a deep breath, pursing your lips as you finally felt the courage within you. It’s a little bit late for it to come, isn’t it?
“You want to know why I never told you about my soulmate’ Because I’ve found him a long fucking time ago. But he can’t even be honest to himself that he at least feels something for me. He chooses to be blind with all the possibilities we could have if he just chooses to cross the line, even for just a little bit… right? Cause be fucking honest, Atsumu, it doesn’t even matter if I told you or not. Either way, you’re never gonna love me the same way I’ve always loved you. It’s quite funny, honestly, I’ve never told you because I wanted you to love me, not because I’m your soulmate but because I was YN. But I never expected that it would be the very reason why I can’t have you… because I’m just YN.” You let out what seems like a laugh but the waver in your voice failed to deliver that.
“... So don’t tell me I’m needy and selfish because if I were, I would’ve told you the moment I met you that it was you. But I didn’t want to lose you, so I thought it was okay. I can deal with the pain if it meant I can keep you beside me and not risk anything…” you trail off, “... but I’m just… I’m done pretending I can keep being on this playground with you.”
You took out the red scissors that you’ve loathed so much, nearing it to your threads as he stayed still in disbelief of everything that has been revealed to him seconds ago, “I love you, Tsum..... I only wish for you to be happy so… don’t ever regret this, okay?”
Atsumu looks at you and at that moment, he just knows… that for the rest of his life, he’ll remember the broken smile you gave him as you finally cut the thread that has connected you to him for the past years.
Don’t regret anything, Tsum…
“Because I won’t.”
I won’t even remember a single thing about you.
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note. ah… at last we have come to the beginning of the end. two words from me to you: i’m sorry.
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seriouslysnape · 3 years
Note
what about something where the reader’s cheating ex keeps trying to talk to her to convince her to take him back. she can of course deal with him herself but she wants absolutely nothing to do with him so protective, boyfriend snape steps up and scares the fuck out him basically, then it’s pure fluff between him and his lady by him assuring her he’d never hurt her, let alone in the way her ex did. sorry if this is too much. it came to me while watching love actually and Alan’s cheating character. lol and your account came to mind to request it to because I love you’re writing!
EEEEEEK I LOVE THAT.
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Old Flames
Severus Snape x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Brief mentions of abuse.
Word Count: 1,375
“It was no one important.”
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You felt like you had been looking over your shoulder constantly throughout the day. Maybe you were just being paranoid, but you felt like you had a pair of eyes on you at all times. You had a good reason to be so uptight, considering that a dark park of your past had recently resurfaced.
“You’re out of it again.” Severus’ voice pulled you from your trance.
You fluttered your head and blinked a few times to fully draw yourself back in. Your stance was rigid from where you stood over the stove in your quaint kitchen. The carrots and onions that were cooking inside the pot were well on their way to being burned at your loss of attention towards them. The patient Potions master had been attempting to carry on a conversation with you, but every few minutes or so you’d fall out of it.
“I’m sorry, Severus. What were you saying?” You asked with your eyes dead set on the pot in front of you. You managed to successfully save the beginnings of your stew from being ruined.
He showed a look of concern at your odd behavior. He had sensed your demeanor being off all day.
“What’s troubling you, my love?” He questioned.
You were gripping the wooden spoon in your hand so tightly that your knuckles were white from the lack of circulation. Severus approached you with quiet footfalls, but stepped back half a step when you jumped at the feeling of his hand on your lower back. You gave him an apologetic look, turning down the stove burner so the vegetables could be unoccupied for a moment.
“It’s nothing really...” You lied, hoping he’d drop the conversation.
Severus, though, wasn’t usually the type of person to allow an issue to go unsolved. Particularly when it came to you. He pressed on cautiously.
“It certainly cannot be nothing. You’ve been like this all day,” He pried; “I’m worried about you.”
You gave a heavy sigh. You never wanted him to worry himself on your account. It wasn’t something that you couldn’t handle.
“I ran into someone I used to know a few days ago.” You stated, beating around the bush entirely.
He raised a brow, watching your eyes fill with fear.
“Oh? Who was it?”
You took a breath, exhaling before answering.
“My former boyfriend.” You admitted.
Severus’ jaw set and his lips downturned into a frown the way they did when he was angry. His ears went red and hot at the thought of your ex-boyfriend coming back around. Severus knew you liked to fight your own battles. You were a strong, independent woman and were completely capable of fending off regretful former lovers. However, you were beginning to think you’d need backup on this one.
Your ex was a terrible guy. He was one of the only people on the planet that you truly felt a fiery, burning hate for. You had the hardest time understanding how you ever felt desire for him. He had cheated on you multiple times and had abused you every way to Sunday. Severus was a complete opposite of him, which was so refreshing and allowed you to open your heart up again.
“What could he possibly want?” Severus asked, careful to keep his tone from being angry.
While he was unbelievably angry, it wasn’t directed towards you. He knew how your ex-boyfriend was. He was manipulative, selfish, and a borderline stalker. It was no wonder you were so on edge.
“He asked me to take him back,” You explained. You continued when you saw Snape’s face go from beet red to ghostly white; “I obviously refused.”
Severus knew you’d never take him back. You could be beyond unhappy with Snape and you’d still never go back to the man that came before him. Severus was confident in that claim. You wanted absolutely nothing to do with any man that wasn’t Snape.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Severus prompted, disappointed that you didn’t come to him sooner.
“After I told him no, I assumed he’d let it go,” You replied; “But I’ve seen him a few times since then.”
Severus nodded with understanding. He knew this needed to be handled before it escalated out of their control. He just didn’t expect to get the opportunity so soon. A knock on the door froze you in place. It wasn’t too terribly late in the day, but neither of you were expecting a visitor.
Severus exited the kitchen to answer the door. His blood going icy cold at the sight of your former boyfriend standing there. Severus refused to let this interaction go farther than your doorstep. He didn’t want you to get upset.
“Is [Y/N] here?” The ex-boyfriend spat at Severus.
He hadn’t ever met Severus before, but he knew you had been seeing someone new for a while.
“Yes. She doesn’t want to see you.” Severus said as calmly as possible, despite the fury brewing in his chest.
“Well, then I want to hear that from her.”
He tried to push past Severus, but he denied him access inside. Snape gave him a firm shove back onto the porch, closing the door behind him.
“You should not be here. She doesn’t want to be involved with you.” Severus said again, hoping to get the point across.
“Oh, and she does want to be with you? I know what she wants.” He barked back.
Severus towered over him, so close that he could almost touch him.
“I don’t think you do. Don’t talk to her. Don’t touch her. Don’t even look at her again,” Snape growled; “If you do, I swear they’ll have to put you back together limb from limb.”
That seemed to put the fear into him. He could tell Severus was a fellow wizard and a skilled one at that. He didn’t even want to know what Snape could do to him. With a few more choice words, Severus ran him off from your house, likely never to be seen by you again. Severus re-entered the kitchen, your body thick with nervousness.
“Who was it?” You asked shakily.
Severus shrugged.
“No one.” He said casually.
You raised a puzzled brow.
“But you were gone for almost 10 minutes...” You bantered.
Severus plucked a cut, raw carrot from the counter and popped it in his mouth.
“It was no one important.” He responded.
“It was him, wasn’t it?”
Severus gave a low chuckle. He could never get anything past you. He nodded.
“It was,” He confirmed; “I handled it.”
You felt fuzzy in your feet, panicked at the thought of your ex-boyfriend.
“Handled it?” You asked for clarification.
“I told him he wasn’t welcome here. That’s all.” Severus half-lied.
You were doubtful that was all he said. Severus could be ruthless when he was jealous. In any event, you were relieved that he was gone for good. You allowed yourself to feel a rush of sweet comfort take back over you for the first time in days.
“Thank you.” You gratefully spoke.
Severus delicately stroked your cheek with the side of his index finger, admiring your eyes. He hummed in affirmation.
“Of course,” He said, pulling you into his chest; “I want you to know I’d never treat you the way he treated you.”
“I know.” You said truthfully.
He kissed the top of your head, the smell of the slow cooking carrots and onions had engulfed the kitchen fully now. He smiled warmly at the sense of you being in his arms and your frame returning to normal. He wanted you to feel safe with him. He’d never break your heart the way your heart had been broken before. You were his whole world.
“I would never hurt you, my darling. You are so special to me and I care about you endlessly,” He told you; “I love you.”
“I love you, S.”
He lifted your head so he could kiss you deeply. His kisses were heated, signaling you to stop before he got too worked up.
“Wait, Sev, I need to finish dinner.” You said, referring to the pot on the stove.
Severus swiftly turned off the stove and swept you away to the bedroom.
“Dinner can surely wait.”
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geminitarotmagick · 3 years
Text
Full Moon Pick a Card Reading, Blackpink Edition
On this rare form of Blue Moon, take a deep breath and choose one of these four piles. Each pile holds various messages that you need to hear at this time. But remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates and discard whatever does not.
If you would like a personal reading from me, I open mini reading requests every Monday where I will answer your question with five cards. Please only ask one question per ask per week, and make sure to leave a name/nickname/initial by which to call you when leaving your reading request.
But if you'd like something more in depth, or have a more urgent question, I am also currently offering in depth personal readings. More info on how to request an in depth paid reading here.
With that said, choose the pile that calls to you, and find your messages under the cut.
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Decks used: Therapets, Way of the Panda Tarot, Light Seers Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirits, Shine From The Inside Oracle, Barbieri Zodiac Oracle, Oracle of the Fairies, The Deck (Custom Made Blackpink Oracle Deck)
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PILE ONE:
There's some guilt that you're being called to let go of. There are situations in your past that have caused you to regret how you acted, whether it be that you didn't stand up for yourself or that you hurt someone with things that were said. These situations have been prominent in your mind recently, but it's important to understand the bigger picture here. You're called to reflect on these moments and discover what lesson you were supposed to be learning from those experiences. These things happened so that you could grow, not so that you could be stuck in guilt. Allow yourself to make peace with these situations or people in whatever way that means to you, absorb the lesson, and then release the experience.
You're being called to be kind to yourself, and be patient as life changes and evolves around you. You have strong values, and it's important to stand firm in those while also staying true to yourself and staying grounded. When you're grounded and in tune with yourself, you can move mountains, so it's important for you to really allow yourself to find that center where you can return to when things get hard. It will be much easier for you to do this when you've released the guilt and negativity that is blocking you from achieving this state of mind. Whatever situations cause you stress and anxiety when you think about them, it's time to let go of them.
Now is a good time for you to work towards setting boundaries with the people around you as well. This isn't meant to push people away from you, but it is important to establish to those around you what is ok and not ok, and for you to love yourself enough to set these limits with people. There is insecurities that you have, but remember that most people do in fact want you to let them know when things aren't ok, and the people who care about you will appreciate you doing this. Without these boundaries in place, you're kept in a place of stagnation that doesn't allow you to grow, so please realize how integral setting these boundaries really is to your growth and wellbeing.
The fear of change is normal, but it won't prevent things from shifting, so learning to embrace it is key. This stems from that patience with yourself, but it also comes from allowing yourself to live in the now and let go of the anxiety about what "could be". It's important to be honest with yourself about what is holding you back and holding you in patterns that aren't serving you. This is a great time to start working on building your self confidence and self love, but this can only be achieved after you take a hard look at yourself and honestly assess what things are helping you and what things are hindering you.
One thing that will really help you to grow with this is to celebrate your own victories. No matter how small or large they are, progress is progress, and you deserve to feel accomplished for evolving and making positive changes. Also be open to the signs around you that you're on the right track. Sometimes these signs will be big. Sometimes they'll be subtle. But know that they're always there, and they're always ready to encourage you and cheer you on.
Focus your energy on breaking free of these things holding you back, and making tough decisions. To do this, you might need to step out of your comfort zone by taking risks and doing things you consider scary, but it'll pay off. It's also important to focus on understanding not only yourself, but others, and to not let harsh emotions like anger cloud your judgment.
Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. The truth is, you're far more capable than you feel.
Cards Pulled: Reverse Four of Cups, Reverse Strength, Fire, Air, Celebration, Nature's Signs, Elk, Reverse Death, Reverse Queen of Wands, Hope Not, Tune Into Your Inner Peace, "The truth is, you're far more capable than you feel."
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PILE TWO:
You're being called to evaluate the situations you're in and the people you're surrounding yourself with, and to walk away from the people and situations that are no longer serving you. You have so much worth that you don't even realize because these things are weighing you down and blocking you from even realizing it. It might hurt at the moment to remove yourself from these things and people, but there are so many better things on the horizon for you, so long as you clear your energy to allow it to flow to you.
You've allowed yourself to be swayed by others opinions of you, and in doing so have allowed your own desires to be ignored. It's time for you to take your power back, and focus again on what it is that you want out of your life. It's also important to surround yourself with positive friends, and people who will encourage you following your dreams and doing things that make you happy. Take the time to focus on yourself and your own self care, and remember that it doesn't make you selfish to think about yourself. With these new friends, make sure to balance between giving to them and not burning yourself out so that this can be a more positive experience for both of you, and commit to keeping it that way.
This is a wonderful time to break out of the auto pilot mode you've put yourself into, and to put an end to that cycle. To put an end to that though, you need to be able to deal with past traumas you've been through in your life and make peace with them. This won't be easy to do, but it's necessary work to be able to move forward positively. You'll see so many blessings coming into your life when you choose to do the inner work and choose joy in the future. Make sure to have gratitude for all the things that come your way as well, as showing gratitude will make way for more positivity to continue to flow in. Let go of the past, allow yourself to trust the people in your present, set your boundaries, and allow all of that to bring to you situations that are more positive and divine.
There might even be desires of yours that you've kept hidden for so long that you don't even remember that you wanted it. Allow yourself to tap back into these desires that have remained hidden, and know that you can achieve them if you truly set your mind to it. You might not be perfect at it on the first try, but that's ok. As long as you go into it with an open mind and pure intentions, things will work out for your highest good. and work out the way they're supposed to. This is a great time for you to set goals and think about the things you want to accomplish, and allow your emotions to guide you towards setting goals that align with your dreams. Also allow yourself to listen to your intuition and that inner voice in your head. If you're drawn towards something, and it won't cause you any harm, then go for it.
Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You're not going to succeed at everything you do, and that's okay.
Cards pulled: Reverse Knight of Pentacles, Ten of Swords, Saturn, Moon, Lost and Found, Pure Intentions, Starfish, Nine of Cups, Reverse Nine of Wands, See U Later, Commit to Self Care Rituals, "You're not going to succeed at everything you try, and that's okay."
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PILE THREE:
It's so important for you to remember that you don't need to have everything figured out all the time. Life isn't as serious as you're making it out to be right now, and you're just causing yourself unnecessary stress. Allow yourself to actually live life, not just worry about life. Your past is holding you down right now. It's important for you to do some inner child work so that you can rise from the ashes of your past and move forward. This is a great time to let go of the baggage that's weighing you down, and let yourself move forward feeling lighter.
It's time for you to let go of these burdens, and allow yourself to rest and relax. This is a time for deep healing, if you allow yourself to do the work and feel the feelings. Doing that will help you to get realigned with yourself and find the emotional release that you've been needing.
You're confined to your comfort zone right now, but growth exists outside of it. So push yourself to try new things, have new experiences and think new thoughts. It's okay to start small, but remember you can't grow if you stay in the same place, so keep moving forward and keep pushing yourself.
You might be called to help others during this time as well, and you might find healing though helping others to find their healing. It'll help you to find your own self worth and remember just how special you are as well. You're not paying attention to your inner voice right now, and it's time to listen to it and think about what it is that you want, and allow your intuition to guide you.
Be receptive to the world around you, and allow it to inspire you to heal. There is hope on the horizon for you. You just need to allow it to find its way to you. Find the bright side of your situation, and hold onto that glimmer of light, and allow it to grow into a bigger and bigger light. You have the ability to change a negative situation into a positive one if you hold onto the light.
Allow yourself to feel the joy that feels most authentic to you. It's important to focus on what feels most authentic to yourself, but be patient with yourself as you do this. Keep the hope and the faith that you will find yourself, even if it takes more time than you'd initially like for it to.
Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You are going to get through this just fine.
Cards pulled: The Star, Eight of Cups, Jupiter, Sagittarius, Inspiration, Hope, Phoenix, Four of Pentacles, Reverse High Priestess, Forever Young, Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Try Something New, "You are going to get through this just fine."
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PILE FOUR:
This is a very successful time for you, so remember to celebrate your wins. It doesn't matter how big or small they are. Allow yourself to revel in the feelings of success or satisfaction, because acknowledging those feelings will allow more of it to flow to you.
You might be finding yourself at a crossroads in life, and you might be trying to rationalize which path you should take. Drown out all the noise, and allow your intuition to guide you. If you really take the time to stop and listen, you'll find that you know what choice you should make already. Don't judge yourself for being unsure tho, and don't judge yourself for wanting to make a decision that others might not consider to be the "right" one. Those people are not you. You have to do what's right for you, and show yourself love and patience for having the courage to make that choice. Others opinions of what you choose to do does not matter.
You're a very caring person, and you wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes, and there's no shame in that. Allow that to be a strength and not a weakness, and let that propel you into manifesting the things you desire. You're moving towards even more success, so don't doubt yourself.
This is a time for creativity for you, so allow those ideas to flow through you and to you. You'll be opened up to new paths and new relationships with this, so allow the abundance to flow to you, and allow yourself to take this path with empathy, both towards yourself and towards the people who come into your life. Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed and get cold. Your heart is your greatest asset. Allow it to stay open, despite what might happen.
Use nature to help you find your center during this time, and use it as a way to find peace when things get stressful. There's a lot of positive change coming to your life. Don't fear it. Embrace it, and embrace all of your wonderful manifestations. But if you find yourself feeling out of balance, allow yourself to take a walk or take a break in nature to help yourself get grounded again.
This is a great time to work on what you consider your own personal freedom. Big change is coming to you, and you're allowed to change as a person as well. Allow your self confidence to build as these changes come your way, and assess what things feel right to you as things shift. Once again, it's important to be patient with yourself, but it's also important to remember that you do have control of some things. Issues surrounding your personal identity and how you express yourself might come up during this time, so allow yourself to work through that and to give yourself the time you need to find what's right for you and to heal what isn't.
Lastly, your Therapets card (top middle) is provided as a source of encouragement for you. You're not going to succeed at everything you do, and that's okay.
Cards pulled: Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands, Sun, Uranus, Manifestation, Go Outside, Tarantula, The Empress, Ace of Cups, How You Like That, Stop Judging and Start Loving, "You need to give yourself time to heal, no matter how long that ends up being."
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lordoftermites · 3 years
Text
You Never Break ⚜ Part Ⅰ
⊰ ☘ ⊱ Cardan's POV: The Queen of Nothing, from the end of Chapter 13 through Chapter 17. ⊰ ☘ ⊱ A massive, pterodactyl-screeching thank you to my dearest punishment @euridce and the bombastic @figonas for dealing with my bullshit and allowing me to subject them to betaing this (and literally everything else), but especially for being my Hype Train Goblin Queens and not letting me lose to my perfectionism. ⊰ ☘ ⊱ { edit: the wordcount actually turned out to be 3,765 because I added more shit after I copypasta'd here but I literally cannot be arsed to change the graphic lol. }
≼ FIC MASTERLIST HERE≽
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Contrary to erstwhile thinking, it is not quite as simple a task to travel at any expeditious speed whilst carrying a half-dead goblin through the biting nighttide—whilst also taking care to keep yourself and aforementioned half-dead goblin undiscovered by those who would very much like to lop your kingly head right off of your kingly shoulders.
And, if all of that is not enough of a juggling act, appending the minor detail that you’ve just taken flight on a steed conjured from the ragwort in your pocket, after leaving your wife below (at her behest and your protest) to fend for herself with naught but a magical cloak and her unspoken, mortal promise to do as you say...
Well. There are reasons you are not lauded for your prowess as a jester, just as your Queen is even less admired for her graces of verity.
Yet, surely by some feat of fortuitous magic, Cardan does manage it; the concealing mists part just enough to allow the flying mount and its travelers to slip through.
Braving a glance over his shoulder, he watches as the fog coils and swirls closed like a protective curtain behind them. It's disorienting—very like taking an overconfident step forward, only to find the ground is not quite as close as you first perceived. Even as one often besotted with wine and other such stupefacients, Cardan does not particularly enjoy that feeling.
Sea fret mingles with the haze of preternatural clouds as they begin a descent. It veils his lips, clings to his wool-spun clothing and weighs down his hair. He shakes the dampened curls from his eyes just as the four isles of Elfhame begin to take shape in the darkness beneath him, and lets out an unsteady breath; he wonders, absently, if he's exhaled at all since leaving Jude on the ground.
He cannot help the inglorious relief that the Roach, in his state, does not hear it.
It’s an odd sensation, to observe your kingdom from such a high vantage point. Perhaps, before now, he disallowed himself to feel the full measure of his obligation; the sobering comprehension that this vastness of soil and sapling and stone, along with all its inhabitants, will thrive, or decay, under his governance. Looking down at the land—his land—brings that realization crashing down upon him with as much force as one of Balekin’s punishments.
Cardan tightens his grip on the animal’s leafy mane against a bout of dizziness, abruptly wishing he had something a bit less insubstantial with which to steady himself.
The Crooked Forest rises to meet them, gnarled limbs twisting upward as if to embrace their sovereign. That seems illusionary, though Cardan does note at once the marked shift in the air; while still cool, no longer does each inhale carry an icy jab to his lungs or bite at the tips of his ears. It envelopes him and his company, gently carrying them above the mossy heads of slumbering root men and women. None of them stir, thankfully, but Cardan isn’t altogether sure his arrival goes unnoticed by them, either.
Welcome home, young King, the wind seems to whisper in his ear. Cardan shivers, and it has nothing to do with the weather.
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Alighting just at the edge of the hollow hill, Cardan takes a half-breath to think—and reproaches himself for not doing more of that before they had landed; the Roach’s etiolated complexion, rattling breath, and stiffening limbs are not an entirely promising combination. Then, there is yet the matter of finding Liliver, who might not even be in the palace. And even then, there is the very real likelihood that he is already too late, that the deathsweet’s effects may have already reached its peak.
Cardan has to swallow against the bile creeping up his throat at that unsettling thought.
If only Jude had just come with him. Mistress of strategy and scheming, she would have drawn up a clever plan before they even took flight, as well as a surfeit of contingencies. Moreover, she would know better than he whether or not they held the favor of time; her province of poison is concerningly vast, as she had proven when Cardan himself very nearly shuffled off his immortal coil in dissolution.
Jude had known in an instant, merely by tasting the wraithberry that had stained his lips. How she knew its savour, to say nothing of how she knew it so intimately, Cardan knows not and she has yet to divulge. It is but another closely-clutched secret he must tack onto the growing list of queries for things a man really ought to know about his wife.
In the interim, the High King of Elfhame—and, more regrettably, the Roach—must rely entirely on himself.
Not much of a comfort, that.
Keeping a hand on the Roach to prevent his suffering an unnecessary fall from the horse, Cardan swings himself off of the thing’s back. With care, he lifts the inanimate body of his mentor into his arms. A low, distressed groan comes from the Roach at being jostled—the first sign of cognizance he’s shown since they left Grimsen’s forge. As pained as the sound is, it nonetheless gives Cardan a small hope that perhaps he hasn’t been too late after all.
Its magic spent, the ragwort pony dissolves in a puff of yellow perianths; an indolent breeze scatters some of the remnants across the dark hill, while others continue their aimless drifting to pollinate elsewhere on the isles. Cardan watches a lone petal catch in the wiry hair of the Roach’s brow and without thinking, he brushes it away. He justifies this allowance of rare gentleness with the fact that no one is around to bear witness to it.
As friendship goes, Cardan is all too aware he hasn’t known much in the way of loyalty or for reasons beyond selfish gain. His former companions had desired only what they could glean from him, the immunity his sway as a prince that had granted them the ability to carry out whatever deviant fancy they could dream up. Even Nicasia had had her own contrivances for being his lover, until she had ultimately found more excitement in the stories—and bed—of Locke.
He is not experienced in having a friend simply for the sake of it. In having someone—or a few someones, for that matter—enjoy his wit and cleverness and skills. That enjoy him, Cardan Greenbriar, rather than what advantages the crown atop his head can give.
Perhaps it is dangerous territory for a king to have bonds extending beyond those of mere allies. Perhaps the trust that comes with such friendships is a bit like handing over a blade to your enemy, freshly sharpened, and saying, Here you go, this holds all the ways with which to kill me. I’ll just turn my back.
Even so, when all you have known your entire life is the contempt and malignancy of those who ought to love you, it is not an entirely stunning realization that you would hand over that blade so willingly.
And he had done, in earnest; in his naivety with Nicasia. In his camaraderie with the Court of Shadows. In everything with Jude.
This is doubtless the reason Cardan’s feet begin to move now, carrying him and the Roach in his arms to the palace entrance with some new swell of confidence. Perhaps it is a detriment to believe that these new friends would not be so hastened and flippant as the last to betray him, but he believes it nevertheless. He also knows, albeit by way of unfortunate experience, that when the situation had been reversed, they had not wasted an idle moment in saving him.
So on he goes, through the wall and into the brugh, careful to keep the Roach’s pallid face hidden in the crook of his arm and denying any assistance his guards offer with a firm shake of his head. They move to follow, but halt at once and return to their posts when Cardan waves them off. Of the merits that come with being King, Cardan is especially grateful that denying explanations is one of them.
Even more fortuitously, his journey is not further hindered by any member of the Living Council—who have undoubtedly been tearing at their beards and skirts attempting to locate and descend upon their unruly monarch. Cardan imagines even now they are in the war room or assembled in his chambers, pacing and theorizing and crying out in panic. At the thought of the Minister of Keys pounding his fists on the table and cursing his luck for having such an impudent master to serve, the corner of Cardan’s mouth twitches. If only the wizened Randalin had the sense to make himself more difficult to nettle, perhaps Cardan would try to do so less.
Though the hill is yet alive, with lingering revelers still clutching the edges of twilight and servants clearing the remnants of food and drink, the many tricks of sly-footing he has been taught manages to keep him out of sight from any who might notice; it takes no time at all to slip through the hidden passage, into the wine cellar and emerge on the other side of the new Court of Shadows.
Cardan had hoped to show and consult Jude on the plans for these rooms, including the strategy chamber he had in mind for her—of which he was particularly proud: he had designed it himself—after she pardoned herself and returned to him. That hadn’t gone entirely the way he had imagined, and so they had gone on with the rebuilding without her. Cardan resolves that now, he can simply give her a full tour of them, should she come back posthaste. Should she decide to come back at all.
No, he rebuffs that line of thinking. Jude will return, just as she promised. When she comes home, Cardan will lead her through the rebuilt Court, and she will ooh and ahh and find him so ridiculously clever she’ll be too awed to do anything but kiss him for his prodigiousness.
She will forget she had ever been angry with him—or, at the very least, spare him the full measure of her wrath. She will forgive him for his trickery and assure him again that she had not fed his letters to the fire; she will tell him how desperately she missed him, that the mortal world is awful and terrible and nothing worth going back to. He will kiss her hair and tell her they need never be parted again. They will begin their reign as they should have done the moment their vows were made, and all will be just fine and well and as it should be.
These are all of the things Cardan tells himself as he steps into the main chamber.
He chuckles quietly to the darkness, a sudden incredulity sweeping over him; after all his prior distaste for mortals and those little hopeful deceits they allow, to wish away an awful thing or to make that awful thing seem less terrible, he has caught himself doing just that. He wonders what Jude might say, if he said her mortality was rubbing off on him?
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Upon entering the main hall, Cardan is met with a collective gasp—either from the sudden, unannounced arrival of the High King or at the state of the Roach, he doesn’t know, nor does he have time to find out; before he can call for her, Liliver is already there, her dark face paled and taut. She does not seem to even notice Cardan, her frantic, wide-eyed gaze fixed on the Roach.
“What happened to him?” The Bomb demands, seeming to realize Cardan’s presence only as an afterthought, though he does nothing to reprimand her for her tone. The current circumstance, along with the raw fear on the rogue’s face, is enough to cast any necessity for formalities into shadow.
"Darts, poisoned with deathsweet," Cardan tells her, elaborating when Liliver's piercing glare flickers up to meet him. "We... misestimated the cleverness of the traps Grimsen set to protect his forge." The Bomb frowns at that, and Cardan is sure he’ll have much more explaining to do before the night is through and she is fully satisfied, but neither of them need reminding of the more important matter at hand. “Let’s—let’s get him to a bed,” Liliver says. Though her voice wavers, her eyes never leave the disturbingly still body of the Roach as she leads them into a small room carved out from the main one.
She steps aside to allow Cardan to enter and lower the Roach onto the single bed, before seating herself on the edge of it. A bundle of tinctures and salves rest in her lap, from where or how she procured them so quickly, Cardan doesn’t know and isn’t inclined to ask. By the deep-set furrow of her brow and the way she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, she is calculating the situation and he wagers any unnecessary queries might hinder—or annoy—her deliberation. So he simply stands there, silent and helpless, watching her work.
The light emitting from the small orbs hanging above their heads does little to illuminate much of the Roach’s features, but it’s bright enough to view the waxen sheen of his skin, the odd way his limbs lie rigid at his side. He looks as close to death as one could appear, and if not for the shallow rise and fall of his chest, one could easily believe he had already gone. Cardan swallows and looks away, as if staring instead at the rough stone floor will quash the disquiet he feels.
If the Roach succumbs to the poison, he knows with whom the fault will lie, and there will be none among them to scorn him as much as he will scorn himself.
As Liliver works, sifting through the assortment of small glass bottles in her lap until she picks one filled with a thick, amber solution, Cardan gives her as much detail of the night's emprises as he can in short order: their attempted (and rather unsuccessful) rescue of Jude, of the Roach’s poisoning; of why they had entered the smith’s forge in the first place.
Upon hearing the truth behind the Ghost’s betrayal, the vial slips from her hand and Cardan barely manages to snatch it from the air before it shatters on the ground. The Bomb’s eyes are wide as saucers as she takes back the bottle, but Cardan thinks he catches the smallest glint of hope in them, despite their current predicament.
“You mean, all this time... he was being commanded? Controlled by Locke and Madoc?”
Cardan nods. “Doubtless by my brother as well, though Jude didn’t say one way or another.”
He wouldn’t have considered it debasing of Dain's character to control someone in such totality. In fact, he has no misgivings at all that there was anything, save perhaps a grubworm, that had been beneath his brother. He shakes his head and shrugs, more to his own thoughts than the Bomb's question. “I’ll let her tell us which it is, when she comes home.”
It is too afflictive to imagine she will not, that he has yet again voraciously lapped up a lie she has fed him. He cannot believe that as he waits, Jude is riding off through the air with her sisters back to the mortal world, laughing as she tells them how effortlessly she has fooled the desperate High King of Faerie.
He will have time enough to wallow in his own selfish, agonized reveries; Cardan wills his attention back to the present, back to the Bomb and the Roach, who appears even less on the fortunate side of time since they arrived.
“Will he…” Live, or die. Both words are there on his tongue, but he cannot bring himself to say either and the question lingers, thick and unfinished in the air between the three of them. Liliver doesn’t seem willing—or able to answer, only giving him a small shake of cloud-white curls as she keeps her back to him.
Watching how carefully she wipes the Roach’s forehead with a damp cloth, hearing the hushed, unintelligible things she tells him, the understanding that Cardan perhaps ought not intrude further becomes all too clear. He has completed his task, what he promised Jude he would do. There is nothing more required of him.
With Liliver’s promise that she will send word of any changes, good or ill, Cardan excuses himself from the Court of Shadows.
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Cardan spends the remainder of the day in his chambers attempting sleep, because he has proved himself of little use elsewhere, there is nothing else to do, and because if Jude were here she would tell him a High King needs rest if he is to go delegating and answering petitions and doing whatever else there is that good, proper kings are supposed to do.
However, it is precisely because Jude isn’t here that he cannot rest.
Though he does give it an honest effort. He tries lying on his back, drawing forth tiny white blossoms to count as they bloom above his head, aiming to bore himself into a stupor. He counts and counts and counts. The mingling fragrance of several different flowers permeates the room and penetrates his nose. When he reaches six hundred forty-seven for the third time, he gives that up.
Exasperated, Cardan flops onto his side, stretching an arm across the sheets. He stares at the empty space beside him, where Jude had rested the first night they had spent together—the night he had convinced her that becoming Queen of Elfhame, his wife, was the better choice for both of them.
It had all been true, of course: everything Cardan had said to get her to agree. There had been no deception or scheming in his words; he had desired his freedom, as desperately as Jude craved power, and their union had the ability to grant both in absolution.
The Living Council had become insistent on the idea that their King should take a wife anyway, for their own overboring political reasons, and so Cardan had.
The only addendum to all of this, the only detail that he had surreptitiously kept from both the Council and Jude, was that he wanted to marry her. Not Nicasia, as the Council had wanted, as Cardan had once believed he should and could enjoy. Not the hag Mother Marrow’s daughter, who likely would have found some clever way to cause his demise so that she might live on as the sole ruler of Faerie. None of them would have been well-suited for him, nor he well-suited for them. None of them could give him what he wanted, because what he wanted was Jude.
That is all he wants now—to have her home and here in his bed, to fill the space that has been empty since she left. Since he made her leave.
Cardan pushes himself off the bed in a frustrated huff. Deciding he could do with a little less sober thinking, he calls for wine, and when the servant arrives with a fresh decanter and goblet, he fills it to the brim and drinks it to the dregs. After repeating this process a few more times, Cardan rounds the large desk—his father’s desk, he cannot help to remind himself, no matter how many times he sits at it—to continue the speech he’s been writing. He picks up the slip of paper between two fingers and holds it to the guttering candle flame to examine it. It’s already a rather lengthy speech, admittedly, but more important than any he has articulated yet. It is one explaining to Jude that her exile had not been methodically planned, that he thought she would work it out much more expeditiously. He would further explain he had not accounted for the fact she hadn’t worked it out at all, and that he had come to fully regret his own cleverness midway through his second letter.
Of course, Jude had told him she hadn’t received any of those letters.
He cannot help recalling how she looked at him then, the last time they were here in his rooms: skittish and trembling, desperate as a wild animal backed into a corner.
Hardly a fortnight has passed since Madoc had taken her, believing he had heroically rescued her twin from nigh execution. And yet it feels as distant as any half-remembered dream upon waking, blurred on the details and every attempt to grasp the memory only causes it to slip further away. Like a hand waving smoke.
Except a dream is something usually pleasant; smiling faces, a kiss one might yearn for in the waking world and only receive when they close their eyes. Dreams are things of wonderment. Pretty visions and heart’s desires.
No, it had not been like a dream at all—not the way she had looked at him.
That hatred, burning into him like white-hot iron, the fear she could lie away with words but could not conceal from her face, the venom in her voice when she spoke. It was more terrible than any of Cardan’s nightmares.
Everything you say to me, everything you promise, it’s all a trick. And I, stupid enough to believe you once.
He had wanted to reach out to her, to take her hand and tell her his trick had been only that, a hasty plan to keep her out of Orlagh’s grasp. He had wanted to pull her to him and breathe in the comforting scent of her hair, to feel her warmth against his chest. To beg her forgiveness and will away her anger with a kiss.
Then he had seen the glint of the blade in her hand.
Even after Vivi’s flustered explanation of her sister’s capture, after he and the Roach had set out from the mortal world to find her—even after their brief moment in Madoc’s camp just hours ago, when Jude swore she hadn’t thrown in her lot with her betrayer of a foster-father, Cardan cannot rend from his mind the image of her holding that knife.
He passes the paper through the flame and watches it burn until it is nothing but a stain of black ash on the desk.
Waving away the lingering smoke, he rises and goes to dress for the night ahead, without rest, and knowing that no amount of sleep or drink or honeyed words will erase what he has done—or may yet do.
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⊰ ☘ ⊱ okAY so this first bit turned out a lot longer than I'd originally intended (legit this whole thing was supposed to just be a oneshot lmfao) but if you made it this far, I'm very sorry but thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoyed it, and as usual—if you didn't, don't tell me about it.
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⊰ ☘ ⊱ @euridce @figonas @jurdanhell
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