#been working on this post since october first which is just crazy…it took So Long

[tenofmuses]

Free Witchcraft Resources for Beginners

A couple months ago I made a post shouting out the fact that witchcraft doesn’t require any money to get started (or to be practiced, for that matter), and I had a few people ask me about what they can do that’s free, especially as a beginner, so I wrote up this post. I was lost and broke when I was getting started with my craft, and it was really difficult to find tips for beginners that weren’t just “buy these things!” I’m hoping this will be useful for people who are looking for a place to begin.

So. You’re interested in witchcraft and would like to find out more. Maybe you keep seeing those “crystals/herbs/books/etc. beginner witches should have” posts, and you’re frustrated, because you want to begin your practice, but don’t have the money for those supplies. I was once in that spot, and even now that I’m five years into my practice, I have rarely purchased any of the supplies witchtok deems to be fundamental. Here are some places you can begin instead. Let’s get started!

Info continues below.

Foundations

By foundations, I’m referring to things that aren’t explicitly witchcraft, but that I have found very beneficial within my own practice.

1. Before anything, I recommend asking yourself a simple question: why do I want to practice witchcraft, and what do I hope to get out of it? You may not know for sure yet, and your answer will likely change over time, but having some intentions going in can be helpful when you’re in the early stages of research. When I was starting out, I felt very overwhelmed by the amount of info out there, so if you have a bit of an idea of what you’re specifically interested in, that can be helpful to get you going.

2. Meditation: not all witches meditate, but a lot of the skills you develop through meditation can be helpful within witchcraft. You can try out secular meditation (apps like Balance and Headspace, as well as Insight Timer—the former has a mix of secular and spiritual meditations), or you can find a witchcraft-specific guided meditation on YouTube. For neurodivergent folks out there, I recommend looking into active meditation, which I’ve found to be quite beneficial for myself.

For me, it’s always important to remain grounded when I’m doing any spiritual practice, and meditation is a good skill you can work on to help with that. I also find that having a background in meditation can be really helpful later down the line when/if you are attempting visualization and/or astral projection, witch’s flight, and so forth.

3. Journaling: another thing that isn’t specifically witchcraft-related, but is an important skill to harness, on my opinion. To me, it’s crucial to be in touch with what I’m feeling (especially when it comes to doing spellwork), and journaling is one great way to do that. If you’re stuck and don’t know where to begin, look up witchcraft (or general) journal prompts on here or somewhere else. A lot of the ones that come up will be shadow work, which can be intense, so only do what feels comfortable for you.

I’d also like to note that automatic writing/drawing is an entirely free option if you’re interested in communing with spirits or deities. Essentially it involves getting into a trance-like state (usually in a dark room only lit by candlelight or similar—this is to avoid distractions) with a piece of paper and pen, and you write or draw everything that comes to your head without thinking about it. And then you go back and see what sort of messages you may be receiving. It’s a bit hard to explain and I’m not very experienced in it myself, but it’s something worth looking into if it sounds interesting to you!

4. Look at what you have, instead of what you don’t: a lot of beginner witch resources will list specific items that you should have, without really explaining why. And without that knowledge of how/why having an item is important, you might find your Must Have crystal sitting unused on a shelf somewhere. So instead of focusing on the items you want or feel like you should have, look at what you do have. Are there plants or herbs in your house/yard that you feel drawn to? Do you have a collection of cool rocks and stones? How do these items make you feel?

For me, a large part of my craft is my belief in Animism (the belief that all living things have innate spiritual qualities, like a soul, spirit, or specific energy) and this can play into the way you interact with the natural world if it’s a belief you also subscribe to. Try and feel the presence of a plant to see if it gives you any specific feeling. It does? Great! Now you have a correspondance for that plant. And it’s even better than the correspondances you’ll get in a book because it’s based on your own personal connection and intuition. That’s what is most important.

5. When in doubt, use your intuition. You might find a source that says cinnamon should be used for protection. Another will say it should be used for abundance spells. What matters the most is what you think about an herb/plant/stone/colour, or whatever else you may utilize. I recommend to start keeping a list of what you associate these things with. It can take awhile to build up a personalized list, but once you have one, it’ll be a lot more useful than what a correspondances book says to do.

6. Scour your pantry and get cooking: are you wanting to try out a spell but you haven’t bought the ingredients? Look in your pantry. You may be surprised by how many commonly used witchcraft herbs you find in there. And if you have been starting to associate certain herbs or spices with specific feelings or energies, that’s a great way to get started with creating your own spell.

You can do a spell in many ways, but when I was starting out, one of my favourite ways was to incorporate a certain herb or spice into food I made. Say you’re making a soup and maybe you want a bit of protection, so you add some ground pepper with the intention of that pepper protecting you as you stir it into the soup. Same goes for any other ingredient you’d like to use. A little intention goes a long way!

7. Dedicate your actions, time, or energy: if you’re interested at all in working with deities, ancestors, and other spirits but don’t have the time/space to build an altar—or maybe you aren’t sure how involved you want to be with this part of witchcraft—you can devote an action to the entity. This can be simple. For example, when I worked with Apollo, I would use taking my meds and vitamins as an act of devotion to him. This is an offering. And offerings can be anything you want them to be. They don’t have to be expensive or fancy!

It’s also important to note that you do not need to work with deities or spirits to be a witch. You don’t even have to believe in them. Many witches are atheists or don’t work with any deities at all. But for those who are interested, simple offerings can be a good place to start.

8. Practice energy work: in my view, energy work is the most important skill to learn for your craft, since so many things build off of it. And with energy work, you don’t need to spend any amount of money on it. All you need is yourself, your intuition, and anything else—I mean that quite literally, you can practice feeling the energy of other people, pets, trees, buildings, foods, socks, your favourite pen, and whatever else you think of!

Once you get to know the energy of the things around you, you can more effectively utilize them as tools within your practice (this builds off of the intuition point I made earlier).

For example, as a child I lived in a house that was surrounded by cedar trees. It was a place where I felt very safe. To this day, when I see or smell a cedar tree, I feel safe and protected. You can read this any way you’d like—to me it’s both a spiritual and psychological phenomenon—but this is one example of sensing energy.

As a witch, you can practice that skill and use it to get to know the tools you’d like to use within your own craft (the things that connect to you personally, not what you’re told you should connect with). This isn’t an easy skill by any means, so if it doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s perfectly okay!

For more on this subject, I recommend two books: Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer (more on animism in particular) and Psychic Witch by May Auryn (lots of exercises to practice working with and sensing energy).

Where to Go for Learning

After you’ve thought a bit about some of the above, or skipped it altogether if it doesn’t suit you, you’re probably wanting some good resources that will actually tell you how to do the witchcraft thing. But before that, I want to reiterate again that this is your practice, and you should only do what you are interested in. So take what you want and leave what you don’t.

I’m going to point you in three primary directions for learning good information: books, podcasts, and YouTube.

But first, I want to issue a massive disclaimer for the YouTube information (and some books, for that matter). You should not have one sole source for your information. Books that have bibliographies are always the most trustworthy sources. And even though I trust the information coming from the YouTubers I’ll mention—especially because I’ve read similar information in several witchcraft books—don’t take their word at face-value. Be critical of what you’re told. Believe what you believe. This is a skill you’ll learn over time. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, but it will get easier to discern what’s good info vs. bad info, over time.

Before you get started, I highly recommend watching this helpful video by HearthWitch with info on how to vet your witchcraft sources: link.

Books

In my view, books are the Best source of information, period. Anyone can publish an article or video online, but not everyone can publish a book. So there tends to be a bit more reliable info in witchcraft books.

As far as knowing what book you should begin with, there are lots of lists out there for beginners, and I recommend just looking at one of those lists and picking what sounds interesting to you. Take what you like and leave what you don’t.

Most of the YouTubers I’ve listed below have videos recommending books for beginners.

If you’re interested in British folk witchcraft, I started out with Folk Witchcraft by Roger J. Horne and it was a brilliant beginners guide that I recommend to anyone who is interested in that branch of witchcraft.

As always, while you read witchcraft books, be critical of the information you are presented with. Unfortunately, lots of witchcraft books (especially the classic ones) can be rooted in concepts like bioessentialism, colonialism, and racism. My recommendation is to not take any author’s word as gospel and to use your critical thinking skills when reading witchcraft books.

Where I live, books are EXPENSIVE. And when you’re just starting out in your practice, you might not have the money or ability to go out and buy a book just yet. Maybe you’re still unsure if witchcraft is right for you. Or maybe you’re in the “broom closet.” Whatever the reason, here are some free places to find books.

1. The public library: a bit obvious, but a great resource to look at, because you never know what your library might have. Libraries are the best. And entirely free!

2. Library apps like Libby or Overdrive: especially helpful if you don’t want to bring home a physical witchcraft book, or if your branch doesn’t have any copies of what you’re looking for. You can also get some audiobooks on there.

3. Archive.org: aka the web archive. Entirely free and entirely legal, this works as an online library service where you can check out a book for a bit of time right from your computer. Sometimes you can download PDFs as well. I’ve found a lot of my favourite witchcraft books on there, so if you have a specific title in mind, search it there.

YouTube

First, as a bit of a caveat before recommending you to watch YouTube videos on witchcraft: in my view, books are the best source of information for any witch, as they are able to contain a large degree of nuanced and research-informed information. But books aren’t a simple solution for everyone, and I’ve learned a lot from informed YouTubers over the years (in fact, like many witches, I was first exposed to witchcraft via Harmony Nice on YouTube!).

I’m including a list here of witch YouTubers that I personally recommend because I have found that their content aligns with information I have read in books and other research-informed sources over the years, and because I find them to be generally reliable.

I want to note here that this list is rather biased, as I tend to watch witchcraft YouTubers whose practices mirror my own in some ways. So most of these practitioners have practices informed by European folk witchcraft, and are not very diverse as a result. If any practitioners have further recommendations to add on, especially for practitioners of colour and practices that are different from mine, please do so!

My recommendations:

ChaoticWitchAunt: folk witchcraft, specifically in the Italian tradition, some great beginner content, info on working with saints and spirits.

TheWitchOfWonderlust: death magic, spellwork, great beginner content, lots of excellent info on working with spirits.

HearthWitch: truly a well of information on British witchcraft, beginner videos on any topic you can think of, q&a livestreams, and there’s even a video on vetting witchcraft sources that I really recommend for beginners.

The Redheaded Witch: folk witchcraft and folklore, spirit and ancestor work, daily witchcraft ideas, some beginner videos.

TheGreenWitch: such an excellent resource for herbal/green witchcraft, videos on spellwork, ingredients, tools, and more.

Mintfaery: lots of beginner information, videos on working with the fae, nature witchcraft, and lots of fun witchy days in the life.

Ella Harrison: German folk witchcraft, great beginner resources, including some more niche traditional craft topics like witch’s ladders.

The Norse Witch: info on Norse witchcraft and Heathenry, Norse paganism, and some content about astrology.

simplywitched: lots of great everyday witchcraft content, pagan witchcraft, more vlog style.

Warrior Witch Nike: witchy book reviews, paganism, deity work, some astrology content.

Mhara Starling: the place to go for anyone interested in Welsh witchcraft and folk magic related to Wales.

Alwyn Oak: lots of witch’s guides, especially relating to sabbats (those popularized in Wicca), forest witchcraft, gorgeous videos.

Ivy The Occultist: chaos magick and lots of interviews with practitioners from a variety of paths/backgrounds.

Shadow Harvest: personal day in the life witchy content, some videos looking at working with dark goddesses and deity work in general.

Note: some of these YouTubers have written their own witchcraft books geared towards beginners, so if you enjoy their videos and want to learn more, check those out.

Podcasts

The Astrology Podcast: not specifically witchcraft, but if you want to learn about astrology in detail, this is an excellent place to begin. Link goes to YouTube.

Books and Broomsticks: all kinds of good info, especially pertaining to folk magic, witch guests invited on to share more about their own practice. Link goes to Spotify.

Southern Bramble: A Podcast of Crooked Ways: a variety of witchcraft related topics, interviews, and discussions, often revolving around folk magic and traditional craft—interviews show different traditions. Link goes to Spotify.

New World Witchery - The Search for American Traditional Witchcraft: what it says on the tin; various topics and conversations through an American traditional/folk magic lens by the author of the (amazing) book with the same name. Link goes to Spotify.

Salty Witches Podcast by Cat & Cauldron: traditional witchcraft through a modern lens, another podcast that has a wide variety of topics covered. Link goes to Spotify.

—

As always, if anyone has any additional (free!) resources to add onto these ones, please do so.

Good luck to all of the beginner witches who are embarking on their spiritual journeys, and I hope some of these tips have been helpful! :)

-Em

#been working on this post since october first which is just crazy…it took So Long #I searched everywhere for info like this when I was a beginner but all I found were lists of things to purchase #which isn’t helpful when you’re broke and living through a recession! #I hope this hopes someone out there <3 #witchcraft resources #witchcraft 101 #witchcraft info #beginner witchcraft #witchcraft #witchblr #beginner witch #folk witchcraft #baby witch #resources #my post

[w0lfinsheepscl0thing]

1898: Forgetting Their Shadows - Update

Since last May, I’ve been developing an 1899 fic, and I’m as excited about it as I was when I thought of it. However, I’ve been in a writing slump for almost a month and it’s been taking away all my confidence and motivation. But I’m not going to give up on the project till it’s done! I’m mainly active on Instagram, so after I posted some teasers I made for it back in October, mainly because I thought I would somehow finish it soon, I completely abandoned the idea of posting on here till it was done. But, of course, things didn’t go as planned. I really want to keep working on this fic, so, in hopes that it’ll help with motivation, I’ve decided to try and post updates for it here, even if they are small.

But first, I haven't really introduced this project properly! Settle in, because this is going to be a long one…

How I Started the Story

(Feel free to skip this or any of the points to get to the info you want; a lot is rambling!)

In April, 2023, I checked out 1899 and was immediately invested in Ángel (and Ramiro, of course. He just came later). I had no idea what I was getting into when I started the show, so I’ll have to admit, I didn’t think I’d like it at first, and it took till episode three to really get into it. If it wasn’t for Ángel, I might’ve not seen the whole thing through, which sounds crazy looking back on it now! I started to visualize Ángel and Ramiro’s backstory and where they came from while constantly hoping they’d get their own episode, so when I finished season one and found out it was canceled, I was very disappointed. Not only because they didn’t get an ending, but because now I wanted to know everyones’ endings. It was by this point I realized how stupid I was to think it wasn’t worth watching.

Also, at this time, I didn’t use Tumbler and assumed (from an Instagram only perspective) that the community for the show was dead. I also thought the people I loved and wanted to see more of weren’t appreciated among the few people still active in it. I really wanted to see the backstory behind Ramiro and Ángel, so I tried to write it myself. It was… terrible in the beginning. It was written in a script format, the chapters were only 300 words max, and a lot of it wasn’t realistic, but at least it was a start? Over time, though, I figured out I definitely wasn’t the only person who wanted to see more of them, and it evolved into not just those two people, but the entire story of 1899. I’m really glad it changed to that.

What Exactly Is This Story? What is it trying to accomplish?

I’m writing every backstory, then hopefully seasons 2 and 3, but also trying to make them as precise and accurate as possible. They include some of my own twists, as long as they aren’t contradicted by anything already confirmed, but the point is to make it everything the show was to be and more. I want it to have all of the detail and thought that Bo and Jantie put into it, even if it is painstaking to map out. I don’t want to give too much away yet, but just to clear something up (mainly for my own sake), this is my own take on the story and it’s different from other backstory/finishing the plot fics; I’m really trying to make it as different as I can!

So, Where Are You Now With It?

That’s complicated. I thought I had almost everything done for Volume One (Spain), but after getting through a rough draft of Chapter Six, I was gravely mistaken. I decided to take a step back and plan as much as I could, so once Volume one is out, I can almost immediately start on Volume Two, and so on and so forth. However, with so many puzzle pieces, it’s been tortuous to plan. Right now, I think the best option is for me to pick apart everything pre-simulation so I can understand everything that comes next. The main goal is for me to map out anything and everything, so I don’t change things later that ruin everything I already did, then (finally) finish Volume One.

This is going to be a while, but I want this to be as perfect as I can get it. At least it’ll be done this year, and I hope you're able to stick around for the journey :).

#1899 #1899 netflix #🚢 #rant post #I know that nobody really needs this information but here it is anyway #perfectionism sucks #I didn't proofread this

[bleue-flora]

20 Questions For Writers

One as tagged by @x-i-l-verify and I’m a sucker for answering questions. :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 (and since it’s not many I’m going to color code them) - Wow that’s actually crazy, can’t believe it’s only been a little over a year since I first posted.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,165 - Yo, I’ve written a couple novels worth in words let’s go!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. (though I have a real angsty fic idea for MCU’s Loki that I’ve considered doing…)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

(Poor B is for Betrayal is at a disadvantage with only coming out this week lol)

Crow’s Nest

Which makes sense since it is the longest finished work and the most diverse in content, but it’s pretty wild since it’s only been since October. (I’m going to try and not assume it’s just because of all of the co-author, @midnight-fangirl01’s readers lol<3 :)…)

Dreamcatcher

Which I am probably the most proud of as far as my individual work, especially because the concept is really fun to explore. Hoping to finish the sequel soon but we’ll see.

Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop

This is the shortest non-one shot by like half, so it’s interesting that it ranks higher. I do make some kinda cool graphics for it so I’m glad people like it. Not gonna lie though, a combination of positive feedback and projecting has made it go much farther than the one shot I had originally planned. And since I usually do a lot of planning for stuff it’s no wonder that I have non idea what I’m doing lol. :)

Misery Loves Another Idiot With A Jukebox Where His Soul Should Be (Or umm Misery for short)

(Every time I have to type that out I wonder why the heck I made the title so long, I means its perfect but also you can’t even do a good acronym because that’d still be long…) To be fair the kudo count is really close between Dreamcatcher, Good Cop ‘Bad Cop and this one, which is interesting…

Back in the day, when I first posted this as my blooper reel I did not expect people to like it this much, but I’m glad I’m not alone in my affinity for torture box madness. >:D I still can’t decide which is more unhinged the hopscotch or the crucifixion… like my mental health this year was suffering for real… lol

If The Crown Fits, Wear It

I mean c!Techno should always rank top 5 so it makes sense. ;) As someone who doesn’t love to read one oneshots because I get too attached and sad when it ends, I can’t say I’m overly surprised at its ranking. But also still surprised. Regardless,it was really healing for me and I’m glad it seems to have been for others too.

(Ok though for real my first fic Hell in a Box being the lowest makes me kinda sad not gonna lie. Like it’s true that I think I’ve certainly gotten better at writing, which is actually why I edited it this summer, but it is the one that started it all and while it’s not my favorite work at his point it does have some really cool scenes and holds a special place in my heart.……)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Every one. They took the time to make me smile so the least I can do is share the love or fun. Especially when I spend a maddening amount of time on specific details it makes me so happy when someone noticed and enjoyed. <3 :)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Yes. Oh wait lol I mean technically it would be Misery since there is both no ending and it’s more so a complication so technically it probably won’t get one. But if we are talking a finished work with an actual ending then probably Dreamcatcher I guess, because it’s kinda a sad realization, though technically it would have been Crow’s Nest if not for the co-author spoiling my plans lol >;)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean easily Crow’s Nest… I mean the ‘epilogue’ is like 13,000 words so that’s how you know it’s good. ;D

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No not really. And honeslty my self esteem is low enough I’d probably quick if did. :) I did receive a hurtful but also wild accusation (from what I discovered to be a bot) that Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop was written by AI, which is funny because honestly that fic is really uniquely formatted with literal nutrition facts I designed at the end, like heh? An AI doesn’t come up with this.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. And I do not read it either. In fact, I originally thought that all fanfiction was smut but after reading my first one that was recommended by a friend I was pleased to discover there is plenty of fanfiction that isn’t.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Haven’t yet? But I wouldn’t be the most opposed to it…

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, someone is translating Crow’s Nest into Russian, which is pretty cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes with @midnight-fangirl01 and it was pretty fun. Though the short timeline and time difference made it difficult as well as my canon compliance extremism. But overall, I think we made a really good pair and I certainly got some new writing skills. It is by far the longest fic I have worked on so I’m pretty proud of it and certainly couldn’t have pulled something like it off without her.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Umm I don’t really do ships, but Drunz is one that is cute, and I always try and keep my fics kinda open and up for interpretation for anyone who does ship them. I think in general my opinion on their relationship doesn’t change much on whether they are platonic or not.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish everything I post whether it’s how I planned or less so, because it makes me sad when works are unfinished, and I like closure, however sad or open-ended it is. At the moment I’m struggling with Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop because my writing is based on projection and spurs of creativity so I guess I’ve struggled to project onto c!Bad recently. I will say I actually wrote most of the end the other day, so worse case scenario I just post it, but I do have ideas for chapters before then. It’s just whether or not I get inspired to.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I’d say despite generally disliking writing it, character/actual person sounding dialogue. Also my detailed descriptions that help you visualize the scene.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Probably pacing, like I don’t seem to cover a lot of ground in my fics. And for the Dreamcatcher sequel I’ve been struggling a lot with exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If you mean because the character speaks it then yes that’s fine I love character accuracy but there should be translations. Otherwise it ruins my immersion and it’s rude to make me switch screens on my phone and get blinded by the light just so I can translate. Like lots of people don’t translate for Ranboo and it’s really annoying.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

How dare you ask be to choose between my babies! XD lol… I mean… I don’t know Misery is the most fun to write because I get to just be unhinged and I can stop or start wherever I want. Crow’s Nest is the one I’m probably the most proud of since it look a lot of lost sleep, research of characters I hadn’t done yet and we basically wrote it in a month and that just blows my mind. But I don’t know my favorite? Maybe Dreamcatcher I guess…

Hmmm tagging: @midnight-fangirl01 @elmhat @catsandgoodbooks @mistythedritten @draconixiaa @swordfright @the-final-sif … umm I don’t know I have no wifi so trying to figure out people to tag is hard but if you’re a writer and you see this consider yourself tagged and feel free to participate I’d love to see your answers. <3 <3

#ok I may have added more details then I should have but I can’t help it :) #thanks for tagging me this was fun<3 <3 loved your answers too wow you’ve written a lot I’m impressed #dsmp fanfic #I’m such a baby in the fanfiction world but y’all have made me feel so welcome <3 <3 :) #writers things #ao3 writer #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic #shall we play a game?

[avengersassemble-fics]

hello there

wow.

so.. its been awhile, hasn't it? like a long.. long time. sure, a couple posts but my last actual post was december 21, 2021.. crazy!

have I written anything since then? no, not really. re-read some of my work, thought "man this shit is so fuckin good" ..but I just honestly wasn't well enough to sit here and write. as much as I missed it.

what's new?.. a mess and depressed! but working through it. if you read my person posts in the pass, I worked at an optical store for a big big brand (not naming names) that felt like my soul was getting sucked out of me.. retail, amiright?

but seriously. I was there for 4 years by July of this year. in October, the manager I had been with since getting hired was moved to a store closer to her (congrats bestie) which opened up the management role for the one I was in.

I interviewed!! ...I didn't get it!!

devastated. like everything I had ever done was for fucking nothing. all the times I covered, where I took charge when the manager was out, the shitty position of just being under the threshold of FT so I never got the FT benefits (pto.. I was a feign for wanting time off). I interviewed, never got a definitive answer from the dm, until the news was laid on us that someone was hired.

someone who had less than a years experience, from a sister brand that sold non-rx sunglasses. A MAN. nothing wrong with me, I love men, but it was a gut punch. I had to continue being in charge for 2-3 months while this guy got trained for the position I felt I was deserving of.

and when he started it was absolute shit. I have never met someone so fuckin lazy. he refused to close, refused to work most weekends, never helped clean or help keep things organized, left me to handle signage changes and other things, stating stupid shit like "I didn't sign up for that" when like.. yes you did? that's literally the whole point of being a manager? the last week of the year is extremely busy in the optical space, because people want to use their benefits before the end of the year (use it or lose it). december 31, 2022.. what did he do? he left me and my coworker alone so he could go home early. we did ten thousand dollars in sales that day. that is what the store would average a week. we did it in a day.

my depression got worse.. but I did get my associates in psychology (cute). it wasn't until February of this year that I finally got a break. ya girl got a new job, in an office, not having to sell anything! perfection.

I moved out of my parents (it's def a struggle but.. my cat and I are happy), I officially was diagnosed with a chronic disease this year, working on my mental health everyday, did my first semester of uni..

and I miss this. writing, posting, daydreaming. I want to come back but I'm not sure if it is possible on this blog or if I'll have to start fresh elsewhere. but this place is my writing home (and AO3).

if you read all the way through, thank you. I hope to be back soon with new content (branching out of my comfort zone! finish old stories!)

until next time not two years from now..

xoxo caitlyn

#personal #hello there

[bringmoresorrows]

Life Update

It's been a long time since I posted a life update. Lots of new things has happened in my life especially since i haven't updated in a year. Last year, I got myself into a situationship with this guy I became really close to really quickly and broke up with my ex of 4 years. We were dating from 2018-2022. Wow. A lot of things happened between my ex and I thankfully nothing traumatizing between us but we were falling out of love a year before the break up. As it got closer and closer to the end, I felt nothing to my ex. I was sick of how my ex constantly made me feel guilty for being myself. Plus my ex was transphobic and homophobic. Theres reasons for it as she came out as trans after we broke up. She never wanted to go out on dates with me, we stayed in the house and she didn't want to get to know my friend until like the week before we broke up. We had an apartment for a week and a half last April because the landlord said it was okay that we had the ferret then last minute they pulled back saying "nah get rid of the ferret" so we left. But it took a lot of me arguing with her for her to stand up to the landlord as my name wasn't on the lease, her name was. After that, anything i felt towards her was gone. I moved in with my parents in July and that was when my situationship with my friend started.

My heart was broken around September/October and I quickly moved onto someone new. But in between, I had no place to live aside form my parents couch and all my stuff was in storage. I even lost my ferret. My ex kept her. I got promoted to manager at my workplace and got a 2% pay increase which landed me at $20/hr where I was working 34-36 hrs a week and towards the holiday season after working 40-42 hrs a week. So I was bringing home a lot of money and had zero bills. I started building up my savings and come October, I moved in with two of my friends.

October was an interesting month last year, we had no furniture and we couldn't afford anything as we just dumped our savings into this place. It's a three bedroom apartment with 1.5 bathrooms. We have an in house washer and dryer and a dishwasher. It was awesome! We have so much space. The friend group kept making plans at my place and a few things led to another and that situationship friend and I broke things off. Mid october, I started talking to this guy over instagram. And we started hitting it off a lot. Turns out, my guy roommate and him are *best friends* so for our halloween party, he came on over! He lives a few boroughs away so its a 3 hour travel to his place and a 3 hour travel to mine. So 6 hrs total. So he came over the 30th and left November 1st. I got so drunk on the 31st and stuff happened between us before we were dating which is kinda another first for me as we just met in person for the first time. But the first time I did stuff with someone I wasn't dating was the situationship.

Come november, we start dating. Our relationship has been a bit rocky as we jumped into a new relationship and I was very much still hurt over the situationship and didn't want to admit it til a few months back. Plus living on my own has only amped up my mental health issues. I started my ed habits back up hard and lost 20 lbs in 2 months. I gained half of that back but its been hard.

January comes around and my ex tells me she cant house our ferret anymore so I was given the ferret <3. Bless.

February comes and my ferret gets very sick, throwing up for three days straight so we take her to the emergency vet and it helped her out a bunch <3

March comes and my mental health takes a worse turn.

April I have zero memories, In may my birthday happens. It was awesome! The friend group and I plus my bf + my sister go mini golfing! June nothing isolated. July: my internet friend from norway comes to visit and wow did it hit the roof. One thing led to another and they guilt trip me hard and gaslight me into thinking *i'm the crazy one* and I wind up having a severe mental break down where I attempted suicide. I also left the friend group. A day later my boyfriend calls me and gives me an ultimatum and tells me really harsh things to me which led me to crying for days and crying through a whole work shift (8 hours)

August comes and my depression is so severe, I wind up reaching out to a therapist and my pcp to start medication. Ella, my ferret, also has some more health issues showing up. Her tail has been losing fur for some time and her ears are getting backed up with ear wax. She wound up getting diagnosed with Adrenal Gland Disease. ;-;.

September; this month; comes around and therapy has been working and so has the meds. My relationship with my partner is getting a lot better and Ella is doing good too. She got her implant for Adrenal Disease this month. I've just been really tired ngl. Like very tired. But my house is getting decorated for halloween and its great!

Things are going really well for me and the people I used to miss I dont miss anymore. They didn't want me in their life then so be it. That's their problems. There was someone I named dropped a long time ago but I dont miss you anymore. You left my life and made it clear you never gave a fuck about me and only yourself. Goodbye to you. And to the other friends that bridges were burned, fuck it. I let go of it. I need to focus on myself and grow.

Next year around this time I will be moving in with my boyfriend and away from this borough where everyone knows each other. It will be rough to be in a more city based area. Its still a bit suburban but its very much on top of each other. I'm excited for it. I'm excited for the future that I'm going to have. I'm excited for the future with out the things that are holding me back.

#kj talks

[mangacat201]

I posted 1,995 times in 2022

That's 277 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (1%)

1,972 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@queenklu

@ahhhnorealnamesallowed

@the-marathon-continues-nip

@hattalove

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

I tagged 1,906 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#0 - 53 posts

#laugh rule yo - 77 posts

#the devil judge - 74 posts

#911 fox - 55 posts

#resource post - 48 posts

#the untamed - 41 posts

#duuuuuuuuuude - 37 posts

#word of honor - 34 posts

#bad and crazy - 34 posts

#true dat - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#yeah once i realized how small their size of canon interaction actually is i went like 😳😳😳 because headcanon was so vast and limbo like

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Can you explain the origin of goncharev???

Ahhhhh... my friend your ask has set me with a nigh impossible task, for Goncharov as a phenomenon is a many-legged kraken whose suckers will snag any unsuspecting tumblr-fish swimming by while its center remains hidden by the jagged edges of the digital reef.

But i will try!

See, it started with a shoe.

No, it started with someone making a shoe who did not know what they were doing.

Nay, it started with someone being slapped with the dodgeball of Apollo's gift of prophecy and predicting that tumblr would hence come together to invent a piece of media and create a Fandom out of it so vast and authentic, people outside the hivemind would believe it was real and start to be driven mad with trying to find the source that only exists in the shape that is left empty by all the fannish things created around it.

And the tumbrlinas would be so delighted by their own work that they perpertuated it to the point of alerting its supposed creator who then went IN ON THE BIT.

And so the new fannish corner of the internet trundles on, continuing to make art and writing and music and meta discussions and we looked upon it and shared it as good.

Or, you know, you can have the origin explainer post (as far as i can tell) here🤣🤪🤭:

9 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I miss them.

The emotional build up of this SENDS me.

11 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#3

Just sitting here, minding my own business. Meanwhile my spider plant a few days ago started to try and establish first contact with baby!Groot. Don't really know what to do with that🤣.

12 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#2

𝐓𝐀𝐆 (𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄) 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

Got tagged by @hedgewyse whom I was very happy to get to know better via this tag game, thanks a lot! Sorry it took so long to respond, I needed to get on tumblr on the laptop where I can actually type up text and I had a lot of things going on this past week that kept me LOL.

Favourite colour: Blue.

No explanation, not particular reason why, it’s just always been blue. All shades from deep purple to almost white. But I have a special place in my heart for the word ‘turquoise’, which I feel is just so the most. 

Currently reading: Oh good gosh, my open doc reading list is so long, I will constrain myself to the most recent things...

“(Love is)The second oldest profession” The 9-1-1 Buck/Eddie pornstar!AU I knew I needed but kept for a special occasion

I’m also reading “Achtsam Morden” a national German bestseller and the first actual like physical book I’ve picked up in probably four years. It’s hilarious and murdery and perfect

I’m listening to “Blood & Paper” by Kevin Hearne (whom I recently got to meet at a book signing event when he was visiting here and a friend asked me to spontaneously tag along - best decision in ages) Love the audiobook version read by Luke Daniels, he’s a whizz with the accents.

“Hide the drums (there’s fire in the sky)” latest installment of the Magical Marriage Ribbons-Verse, the Untamed Mega Saga, for which the author starandrea has been posting a chapter every day since May 31st 2020, so 805 consecutive days as of now without missing ONE. It boggles the mind. (I’ve started reading when the verse was ... oh I think about three parts in, I haven’t missed one too since then)

Last song: “The Greatest Show on Earth” - Nightwish, it’s my soundtrack for my daily yoga practice (no I am in fact not joking), so it doesn’t really count last leisure listening was the soundtrack of ‘Robin Hood - Das Musical’

Last series: Ooofff... ok, so many balls in the air at the same time. I’m watching “The Sandman” of course, as you do and loving it. Also “Extraordinary Attorney Woo” which is THE MOST(tm). Recently finished my rewatch and catch-up of “Manifest” and rewatched a couple of episodes of The Devil Judge with a friend who just started and that I got into it, remembering why I can’t be normal about those boys (and how delightful it is to rewatch with someone experiencing sth for the first time). Of course went down the magnificent and batshit crazy rabbithole that is Kinnporsche. Also, “Tomorrow” which is definitely my fav K-Drama of 2022.

Last movie: Day Shift - Fun and a nice remix of vampire tropes that you don’t really see on top of each other a lot. But it felt more like a set up to a movie trilogy I don’t know if it’s made enough impact into getting, so the premise might have been served better as a mini series? ...The Gray Man, which was solid and enjoyable and absolutely bonkers with how hilarious it was to watch Chris Evans have a ton of fun playing straight up, no holds barred, unredeemable villian. Ryan Gosling can stay... Ana de Armas is queen bee.

Currently working on: My last day of vacation :sob: and of course my WIP/plot bunnie enclosure excel spreadsheet (yes, I do not do things by half until I halfass writing them). Anyway, actual words or plotty thinky thoughts were put into:

- The Devil Judge a/b/o PWP (that has, so far, about 5k of set up and no porn) with a Jung Sunah made them do it scenario and non-traditional dynamics (yeah, idek...)

- Vincenzo Inception fusion - Jang Han Seo wakes up from getting shot to a curious set up of sleeping people around him (really really wanna write this one but the premise is so vast I’m afraid of flaming out again)

- three separate 9-1-1 Buddie fics of varying size and scope that reaches from one’s in love the other isn’t and confessions make things complicated (or do they), the fall out from the truck bombing goes the other way for Buck & the “Eddie deals with his 5B-issues by discovering shibari”!AU (do NOT try this at home-therapy)

- The Untamed - Blades of Glory!AU

pheeeeew. hooookay, wow, that was interesting, hope your learned something about me. I’mma tag some people, but please, feel free to participate at your own leisure. @hattalove, @the-marathon-continues-nip , @iskarieot, @themostglorioushour, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels , @fondofeveryprickle, @ahhhnorealnamesallowed, @sam-t-a, @b612sunsets

16 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Jonathan Harker: Yo, yo, mofos, what's up, I'm about to drop some TRUE FAX. ×proceeds to speak lawyer for five paragraphs, then looks out the window×.

Dracula: ×scales castle wall upside down like a gecko×

Jonathan Harker: Akjejsksljhejslwpfjfbf DUDE WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKERY IS THIS!?!?!?!?!!!!????

23 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

[luckychi7]

UPDATE: The Tale of Sachiko Fanfic, and Some Personal Grief...

It’s crazy to think I have gone a full year since debuting the Tale of Sachiko Uzumaki Chapter 1 in 2021 which honestly was supposed to kick start the adventures of my NaruSaku OC child - Sachiko (Sachi) Uzumaki, and there is a a lot I have planned for her character arc and her journey. 

What Exactly Happened? 

Shortly after the first chapter, I went through a stage of grief when Attack on Titan’s manga finale came out on April 9th and I was severely disappointed. That led to me losing my writing mojo due to my long investment with Attack on Titan, and I wasn’t sure how I wanted to keep moving forward.   

On top of that, I had a seizure shortly after Memorial Day last year so I needed to spend some time resting my thoughts for that entire summer.  The results of my certification exam didn’t exactly left me in the best spot either when the end of July came. 

Some time after during the month of October just when I thought I was ready finally get back to working on Sachi’s story again with Chapter 2  I got the news that my grandma fell and was admitted for a week before she passed away. This was a loss I simply couldn’t get over, and it didn’t help that I got into a wreck towards the end of November.  

This was also during the same time when I was about get surgery done the day before Thanksgiving 2021.  That process was initially supposed to last a couple weeks, but slowly it transitioned into a month to 3 & 1/2 months.  

Transitional Phase... 

I already covered this in my most recent update video that during that process my views on shipping wavered from NaruSaku to NaruHina,... Which my approach on that transition is something I very much still regret, and it cost me to lose some genuine connections with people I really came to care about in the NaruSaku community. One of my very good friends who I still consider dear and very close to me felt hurt & betrayed about the things I said. All it took was one stupid decision I made, and even that feels like the biggest understatement to say even now. I know better than anyone that this also probably cost me a very dear and meaningful friendship I’ve made with her as well as others just under a month ago.  

 I say this because reading their story is the thing that inspired  me to share the story of Sachiko Uzumaki.  A character I’ve only ever had  a rough idea and character design as to who she is before I made the decision  to really flesh out her character arc from start to finish. Whenever it comes to me and writing a story it’s because it comes straight from the heart. It is never with the intention of gaining attraction or views. That is one of the biggest things I hate most is when people are writing something for the sake of attention. Anyway, knowing that I hurt and betrayed the one person who gave me the motivation I needed was what really left me shattered from deep within.

Post-Transitional Phase...

Outside of this situation, Things have only gotten worse on my end of things IRL because my eldest uncle (dad’s older brother) has been suffering through Stage 4 Lung cancer for over a 1 year and 5 months. Things have been rather slow and steady when it comes to his condition, and I have done everything I can to be supportive of my older cousin (whom I consider to be my big brother.)  ever since I heard the news.  Up until this last monday June 20th when my family and I found out his conditions has significantly worsened from before, and that he doesn’t have a lot of time left to live anymore. 

I have done so much to hold up a strong front for my big brother and that was something my uncle very much noticed. So he had asked me to come over and he held my hand telling me, "I want you spend one day to yourself and have fun tomorrow and just rest for a day. Come see me again on Saturday for the early fireworks and I want you to make that a promise.  Otherwise I won't say anything if come back tomorrow." 

That’s when I told him,  “Don’t worry  I will just take it easy and get some rest until then.”   

I didn’t get a chance to see him that Saturday because the following day my dad ended up getting COVID, and I’ve been taking care of him to make sure he’s doing well. Thankfully my dad’s condition is getting better, but I make it an effort to call my big brother to see how things are going, and from what my brother told me my uncle’s pain has gotten worse.   

I had already been left myself nearly balling when I went home the night after I talked with my uncle in person, but hearing his condition worse left me feeling far more in sorrow then I thought I was in before....

What do I need to do?  

NEW PATH: The Seeds That Will Sow to Inner Healing 

There was a lot I’ve mentioned when it comes to my whole transition phase of the decisions I’ve made,  and I just wanted to finally makes things as clear as I can towards one of the closest friends I’ve hurt and betrayed in the NaruSaku Community.   I’m not asking this close friend of mine to feel sorry for what I did because it was a stupid decision that I made, and it’s something I’ve already acknowledged.  I just want them to truly know and understand that I would like to reforge this trust and bond I had with them over these last 9 years, and I’m willing to wait no matter how long it takes that to happen. 

When it comes to the situation with my uncle,  I know what lies ahead, and the only thing can continue to do is try and stay strong as I’ve been doing. Whatever sorrows and grief that I’ll be feeling I just have to accept for what happens when it finally arrives. All I know is I’m not ready to say goodbye... There’s just so much more I want for them...

As for The Tale of Sachiko Uzumaki Fic...??? 

At first, this was just simply going to be centered on The Tale of Sachiko Uzumaki, but there was just so much going I’ve been going through... and I just couldn’t keep it all in to myself.  It’s always best to be honest with yourself above all else, and that’s exactly what I want to do here.

I may have accepted the canon ending, and NaruHina as my OTP, but I absolutely refuse to leave Sachi’s story unfinished.  Some will say “Oh LuckyChi is just pandering to his old community... that’s why he’s doing this..”  

HELL TO THE NO I’M NOT!!!  If that’s what a lot of you are having then I suggest you to rethink about this more throughly here. That has never been my mind set at all from the very beginning as writer, and I’ve addressed that on more than one ocassion.  

I’ve been working very hard and extensively on the following chapters that have happened since the first chapter. Nothing has necessarily changed when it comes to the story,  character arcs, and themes I’ve already set for Sachiko “Sachi” Uzumaki’s journey from the very beginning.  That is something I intend to stick by until the very end. 

Having said all of this, The Tale of Sachiko Uzumaki will be making it’s come back on October 8th 2022, and it will be done in a weekly format. 

#NaruSaku #grief #Sachiko #Sachi #Sachiko Uzumaki #personal

[unmaskedagain]

You had a Friend in Me

           I’M BACK!! Oh god its been two weeks since I posted a story. I missed you guys like crazy. Hopefully you like my newest piece. I went a... Unique direction. Enjoy!

 She didn’t stumble, fall, and break like they expected her to. There was no big meltdown or confrontation. No apologies. Or promises to do better. No, when nearly everyone in class made it clear they weren’t friends with Marinette anymore; nothing happened. They had accused her of being mean to Lila and a bully as the reasons they couldn’t be friends anymore and had expected the girl to defend herself at the very least.

           Marinette just shrugged, and that was it.

           Even when they asked her to resign from being class president, she easily stood up and said she quit.

           Most of the class, Alya, in particular wanted to be angry at her lack of reaction; shout and scream at the bluenette for seeming not to care about the severance of their friendships. But how could they?

           They knew it was their choice. They were mature enough to know that everyone reacted differently to things. And yelling at Marinette for not being emotional enough at the fact that they weren’t friends anymore just showed their own immaturity. And that would be like telling Marinette she won; and that wasn’t worth it.

           Besides, It was only September, they were sure Marinette would come crawling back to them soon.

…

…

           Marinette never did.

…

           On the outside, it didn’t look like much had changed with the class. While the class weren’t friends with Marinette, they still chose to be cordial. They still did assigned group projects with. Everyone doing their part. However, no one went out of their way to speak with the Bluenette. And she did the same and seemed content.

           Despite appearances, things had definitely changed in class. And it didn’t take long for everyone to realize it.

           The first was Alix’s birthday. Everyone had been so excited. Birthdays were always the best for Bustier’s class. The entire classroom would be decorated. There would be cake and balloons; a wonderful and thoughtful perfectly wrapped present.

           However, when the kids arrived that morning, it was too the same ordinary classroom as the day before.

           It was disappointing to say the least. The kids scrambled to try to throw something, anything together before Alix arrived. However, it was too late. Alix arrived not long after them, and seeing the smile fall from her face broke their hearts.

           No one knew what to say. Or how to explain why nothing was decorated. Why there was no cake and or gift. They sat awkwardly at their desks.

           It was only after Marinette arrived, just a few minutes before the bell rang, that they all got their answer.

           Marinette. Marinette had been the class president. The class president was responsible for any class birthday, trip, or fundraiser. She had always gone above and beyond. Unlike, Chloe, the previous class president, who only ever put in their bare minimum (and she made Sabrina do that); a cupcake, a balloon tied to their desk, and a card signed by the entire class.

           Marinette had been their friend so she always made sure to do her very best to celebrate. But she wasn’t class president anymore. And she wasn’t their friend. She wasn’t obligated to do anything.

           So she didn’t.

           And while the class had been meaning to, they never got around to electing a new class president to replace the one their forced out of office.

           It burned a little.

           Particularly, when the class realized they were hard pressed to find volunteer to assume the role. No one had that much time on their hands. No one wanted to be responsible for anything going wrong. Or not living up to expectations.

           Friend or not, they could admit Marinette was a hard act to follow.

           Unfortunately, to prevent Chloe from taking the job again, Alya was forced to step up.

           It didn’t take long to realize that planning for fundraisers and dances and parties was equivalent to the work of seven people. She didn’t know how Marinette handled it so well.

           School trips, once amazing and carefully planned to the last detail, now were boring and hastily put together; the best one was a trip to the museum, mostly because they got to have ice cream after.

           Fresh baked sweets on big tests days were gone too. It had become a tradition that on days of major, study hard and cram for weeks prior, tests that treats were brought in the morning. It lightened the tension of the day, and just made everyone feel better.

           The morning of a huge math test that had caused a few kids to hyperventilate the day before and of; delicious goods were nowhere to be found.

           When the bell rang, Kim had quickly asked Bustier where the food was.

           To which the teacher replied, “Marinette always asked me if she could bring them in for her friends.”

           And that was all they needed to know.

           It sucked but it was something they could live without.

           Favors were the next thing they realized were gone.

           Before whenever they needed something; they would automatically go to Marinette for help. A babysitter, sweets, costumes, dresses, set design.

           Alya and Nino found themselves spending their date nights watching their young siblings together. Most of their friends refused to babysit. And the few that were willing were far too busy.

           Mylene found that the school play’s custom designed costumes were a thing of the past. So were the artfully decorated set designs.

           Alix had to make her own banners. So did Kim.

           Rose couldn’t just run to Marinette when she need a new fabulous dress. Marinette had always made it clear that she was willing to help out a friend whenever they asked her about costs.

           Then the favors they never realized they even got were gone.

           Discounts at the bakery were only for friends and family. Unfortunately that also meant the discount for their families were gone as well.

           Ladybug suddenly stopped giving Alya interviews. And when Alya asked why, the hero said she only did it because the reporter was Marinette’s friend. It hurt the Ladyblog badly.

           Someone coming to defend them whenever Chloe threw a tantrum and managing to calm the blond down. Even Alya found she wasn’t as much of match as thought, when the spoiled rotten girl was on rampage.

           This effect class morale dramatically. And it wasn’t before long that the class shifted to what it was like before Alya or Adrien came to school, with Chloe trying to declare dominance every other second. But this time, the other students were cowed like they used to be. No, they had seen Marinette standing up for herself and them for years. If she could do it, so could they. Sadly, they weren’t enough. With just the right amount of effort, Chloe could intimidate anyone.

           Adrien who was soon confused about why the friend safe haven had suddenly turned hostile

           Marinette just shook her head. Chloe asked (ordered) Marinette to come to her penthouse one October morning. The blonde had realized the dynamic in class had changed dramatically and wanted to seize the opportunity with an iron first; and she knew she couldn’t do that if Dupain-Cheng was still her number one enemy.

Chloe proceeded to lay down an offer of truce. Chloe and Marinette would leave each other alone, would stay out of each other’s way, and didn’t interfere with anything the other did unless it was school related so they absolutely had to. There would be no threats, stealing, lies, or intimidation from Chloe towards Marinette. In return, Marinette would let Chloe do her thing without trying to defend or save anyone.

As long as both did that, there would be peace.

Marinette agreed.

Thus Chloe’s reign for her symbolic iron throne began. The queen bee had no illusions of who was who. Marinette was a Stark. Chloe: a Lannister.  But Chloe was a smart lion. She had no problems letting the North be independent away from the rest of the kingdom. Chloe’s kingdom.

And much like show, there was no win or lose. When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. And Chloe would win.

Lila was the first to feel to the effects. Chloe refused to have competition for Queen Bee. And the Italian girl became took Marinette’s place as her new number one target.

Lila soon learned that dealing with Marinette was one thing, dealing with Chloe was a whole different animal.  While Marinette fought for peace, Chloe was more than willing to rage war. And unlike Marinette, Chloe didn’t care what anyone thought about her. Lila could scream to the world about how much of a bully Chloe was but what did it matter. Everyone in class knew that already.

She couldn’t threaten Chloe like she did Marinette. In fact, the Chloe regularly threatened her. In front of the other students, and Bustier.

She couldn’t try to get Chloe expelled as Damocles was quick to bend to the blonde’s will.

Chloe regularly “Accidently” tripped Lila, ruined her homework, stole any projects she had, destroyed her phone one time, verbally ripped her to shreds in front of everyone and even worse in private. Chloe would play mean and outright nasty pranks that would leave Lila in tears. More than a few sets of clothes were destroyed. To make everything worse, the blond brat routinely made her look like a fool in front of Adrien. She even got her mother to mock the Agreste brand about their use of a lackluster model to the point where Gabriel fired her.

Nearly everything Lila had accused Marinette of doing, she found herself actually having to face from Chloe. Who would’ve thought the bluenette was doing her a favor by being all moral and self-righteous that it would draw the attention of the evil that was Chloe Bourgeois.

The truce happened one grey October Morning, Chloe officially ruled the class again by November. Lila was seriously considering changing schools.

No one had the time to fawn over her. And she certainly didn’t have time to amaze anyone with her stories. No she was too busy fending off Chloe’s attacks. And wondering why the brat kept referring to her as a Tyrell. Or Alya and Nino as Karstarks. And the rest of the class as Freys’.

One by one, each student realized they had lost something else. Something they actually really missed.

When the class picture was taken, Juleka had been just late and no one realized it. Rose had comforted her again. But no one was able to get the photographer to take another picture. At the end of the day, Juleka still felt really bad about it and had to fight the urge to call Marinette that night. Marinette was always willing to just listen no matter the time.

And it wasn’t long where the other students found themselves in similar situations that all ended with them really wanting to talk to Marinette.

Alya after a fight with her sister.

Rose after Prince Ali wrote to her that he would be ending communication.

Nino after a gig went terribly.

Kim after he lost one of his games.

Alix after she broke her watch…. Again.

Mylene after a fight with Ivan.

Ivan after he failed a math test.

Nathaniel after Marc decided to end their partnership.

Sure, they went to their other friends for comfort. But Marinette was different. When one of them went to any of the other students with a problem; it felt just like that. Them complaining about their problems and the others doing their best to cheer them up and offer solutions. At the end, they still felt like they were on their own; like it was still just their problem. With Marinette…

She always made them feel like they were on the same team. She cared like they were her problems too. And wasn’t going to stop until they were fixed. Marinette was someone they could just talk to without judgement or getting harsh opinions; no criticism. With her, they never felt like they were being judged; even when pointed out that it might, in fact, be their own fault.

They missed Marinette when they afraid or nervous. She’d always manage to calm them down, assure them, be their biggest supporter if need be. And her just being them made them feel better; like they stood more of a chance. She take their mind of things, get them to relax, smile, and by the time whatever it was that made them so terrified came up, they had already completely forgotten why they were anxious.

The strangest part was they even missed her when things were happy as well.

           When anything good happened, one of their first instincts was to call Marinette; scream their excitement. And listen to Marinette scream back just as happy as they were, despite that she was in no way affected.

           No; on the outside the class hadn’t changed much. Everyone still did their own thing. Homework was done. Tests were dealt with. Sure class trips weren’t as wonderful as they used to be. Birthdays only with store bought cupcakes and maybe some balloons. Everyone who started out as friends were still friends by the end of the years. It was just like anyone other class in the world.

…

           Except they were never like all other classes. They had always felt like they were special. Most kids hadn’t looked forward to school day but the students of Bustier’s class had. There had always been something new and wonderful to talk about; some adventure to go on. Now there was nothing. There was still life in the classroom; still laughter and fun. But it was like something took the spark that made it come alive.

           And it was hard to pretend otherwise.

           And they couldn’t really figure out why.

           One or Two (Rose and Nino) could admit, whenever they found themselves alone with their thoughts in class and looked around, that were was a hollowness to the classroom that had never existed before. It didn’t make sense. Everyone (minus Chloe) was still friendly with one another. They all still cared about each other. They were all still really good friends. Good but not as good as they used to be.

…

           They’d never be as good as they used to be again.

…

           The class for their end of year party had gone to the pool. They all had a blast. On their way home, they walked by the park and heard music and laughter. It didn’t take long to realize that there was a party happening.

“Happy Birthday, Marinette!” Caught their attention.

           From where they stood, just outside the party, the students and ex friends of Marinette could make out other students from different classes from their school.

           Aurore the creator of the new blog BugOut. There was Marc, Claude, Mireille, Ondine, Bridgette, the Ice King that was Felix Culpa, and a bunch of other students they never knew Marinette was friends with. Even Luka was there.

“I didn’t know it was Marinette’s birthday,” Adrien frowned.

           So did Alya. Mostly because it was her job to remember as class president. Partly because it was the first time she ever forgot her former (best) friend’s birthday. “It wasn’t on the list,” She gave a weak excuse.

“It looks like fun,” Juleka whispered.

           And it did. There was a live band, a feast of food, people laughing and dancing; it all looked so… Alive.

           Alix stuffed her hands in her pockets. Her throat clenched at the sight of the laughing bluenette who didn’t look like she had a care in the world. “Who knew Marinette had so many friends?”

           Nino glanced down, “She looks happy.”

           And Marinette did.

           She looked like the happiest girl in the world.

           But she always did.

           Even after they ended their friendships with her.

           It didn’t seem to both the bluenette. She kept being her positive and cheerful self, except they couldn’t bask in her sunlight anymore.

           They watched when Luka got on their makeshift stage with his guitar, “Marinette you are the most special person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, sweet, and way too thoughtful for your own good. Which is why we all wanted you to know…” he started playing his guitar. A familiar tune filled the air, all the party goers starts to sings.

“You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead

And you're miles and miles

From your nice warm bed

You just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you've got a friend in me

Yeah, you've got a friend in me”

           The song left a bad taste of Irony on their tongues.

           They thought they had left Marinette behind, somehow it had ended up being the opposite.

…

           They felt like forgotten toys.

#ml salt #ml fic #class salt #A bit of Adrien salt #Lila Salt #marinette dupen chang #Marinette deserves better

[black-swan-slaps]

My Musings About How BTS Made My 2020 So Much Better

I’m never one to do year end reflections like this, but I think I’ll make an exception for 2020, considering, you know, 2020. Plus, the New Years Eve content made me giddy.

I’ve known about BTS since either 2015 or 2016 (I first saw their videos in a Youtubers React video). I remember being impressed back then when I saw that their music videos had around 100 million + views (look at them now, lol). Since then, I would casually watch some of their performances or interviews, but never really listened to their work. The closest I got was when I became interested in RM’s solo work in 2018 (I really like his song Joke, and I stand by that). I think part of my interest in him was because he spoke English during American interviews, so it was easier for me to find a connection. Besides that, trying to enter the BTS world felt, well, overwhelming. There’s just so much content to get through. 

Fast forward quarantine 2020. It’s the end of April and I have been working from home since the beginning of March. Their carpool karaoke video with James Cordon shows up in my Youtube Recommended. The rest is history.

But seriously, that video is just so much fun, and it was really smart of the editors to include subtitles. Very few American shows will bother subtitling the members (at least early on), but they often say really interesting or funny things! I wound up watching that video every day for like two weeks. I then started watching them on other talk shows, which turned into watching interviews, to then their music videos, performances (hello Jungkook in the James Cordon Boy With Luv performance), funny compilations, and then other content, like Festa. One of the first videos I watched was their 2019 Festa. I had limited context for the members, and didn’t think I would actually watch an hour long video, but I did, and I enjoyed it. 

My May became a whirlwind of watching their content and listening to their music. Part of me was hesitant to spend so much time losing myself in their content, but as I reasoned, I had the time, and I was enjoying myself. I remember honestly laughing so hard as I watched Run, and by this point in quarantine, I had very little to laugh about. BTS gave me a route to escapism, and I happily took it. 

None of my friends are really into Kpop, but I felt so ecstatic as I fell deeper into this obsession. They would listen to me a little as I talked about them, but I did overall refrain from talking their ears off. (Now, whenever I do get to see them, I just give a simple update: “Still really into BTS, btw.”)

Point being, I devoured their content. Run, Bon Voyage, docuseries, concert footage, hell, I even watched American Hustle Life. As I learned more about them, I fell in awe of their success and individual stories. I’m honestly just so happy for them every day. I’m seriously amazed when I think about how much they have accomplished. About how hard they have worked, how many records they have broken, how insanely talented they are. They are truly global superstars, and they are changing the music industry, culture, and are leaving a huge mark in history. It’s just amazing. And what is also amazing, is that being happy for them makes me happy. 

Being happy for other people and their successes is pretty standard for me, but it’s definitely a sentiment that has heightened this year. This is a year where we need to spread happiness, as hard as that can be sometimes. But, getting this invested in a band is a new thing for me. 

I really appreciate their friendship and bond. I know it’s not realistic for them to be lovey-dovey BFFs all the time, but it is clear that they have an incredibly special, and rare bond. It’s something that I really admire. (The Vmin friendship was one of the first things I noticed, and led to me getting interested in the members personally). Being American, platonic intimacy isn’t really something I see a lot, at least on the mainstream level (and especially between men), and getting to see these men work together, laugh together, and express their love for each other is just so refreshing. I truly hope that they are happy with each other. It is so clear, that based on the crazy journey they have been through together, they have a bond that no one else will understand. They’ve said it themselves that, in certain moments, they can just look at one another and instantly know what they’re thinking. That is so valuable and special.  

Their work energized me. I started working on a major project in May, and I felt inspired by them. They gave me the energy to push through. Seeing them be silly while also working hard also helped me to accept myself and be true to my weird nature. I used to be pretty shy and reserved, and never posted online, but I started to adopt Jin’s philosophy of just doing what you feel like. Honestly, I felt the most alive in the first few months of quarantine purely because of them and all the energy I invested in learning about them and received from them. (And it was a welcomed distraction from the real world.)

It’s maybe a bit strange getting practically new content every day, but I have found that between official content and social media, there is always something to look forward to. It’s a part of my daily routine to check tumblr and look for updates. It’s something that has been so helpful as my mental health started to decline around August (I’m sure that with quarantine we’re all in the same boat). These past few months have been hard for me as I’ve struggled with the effects of quarantine and a developing complicated relationship between me, food, and my body, but at least I have had BTS to look forward to.

And I guess that is the point of this. I could honestly go on and on about each member and how I feel a special resonance with Jimin based on his gender expression, or how proud I feel of Jungkook every time I hear him sing and express himself, or how Suga’s First Love stops me in my tracks every time I hear it, but I’ve gone on long enough. What I’ve realized recently is that BTS gives me something to look forward to.

This year has been bleak. We all know this. But what is strange is that even though I have had my fair share of struggles, I also had a lot of self-improvement. Those first few months of quarantine, the energy I received from BTS inspired me to work hard on my major project. I took up learning Korean (I really like learning languages and have been working on Italian for years. I highly recommend TalkToMeInKorean). I started working out every day and actually have stamina to do physical activity (something I was severely lacking). I made strides in my professional life and am working strongly and proactively toward my career goals. Of course, even though I have been technically successful, I still can’t but help feel aimless and lost due to the loss of connection with my friends and peers due to quarantine. As Christmas day was ending, I realized that I had been using the anticipation of the holiday to get me through December. Once it was over, I felt sad. What more did I have to look forward to? The world is still generally terrible. In America, we’re still reeling from our terrible political and covid situation.

But today I realized, oh, there’s still BTS. Maybe it’s silly to say, but it’s true. Yes, I have personal and career goals I’m working toward, but we have to admit there is something so unique and fun about following BTS. That week in October where they released performances and interviews every day on Jimmy Fallon, plus bangtang bombs, was one of the happiest weeks I had. Like I said, their happiness brings me happiness. I look forward to following their careers for as long as they’re active, as well as their solo projects and careers. Honestly, isn’t it exciting thinking about all the great things they will do in the future?

#bts #jikook #vmin #jimin #jungkook #rm #suga #jin #jhope #v #they just make me happy #i hope they make you happy to #happy new year!

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: ARE CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

Disclaimer:

Everything expressed in here is my opinion. It is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties mentioned in here. Please do not hate on or send hate anyone mentioned in her expressly or by inference.

In my previous posts, I pointed out how this past year, from August 2019 to June 2020 has been a rollercoaster ride for Jikook. Their relationship has been all over the place with some even concluding they have broken up for good- you wish!

My inbox has been flooded with questions such as: Are they still broken up, are they good, are they married...

Y'all think I'd be here blogging at 1 AM for Tumblr if Jikook were married married?- Ok, I would. Lol

But No, Sis. Jikook aren't married. Not that I know of. But don't be sad though because THEY ARE BACK! Fully back to function. By that I mean Jimin mostly. Jk never left. Lol- I'll explain in a bit. But yes, I'm happy to report that they are Jikooking again!

I refrained from posting about their new moments especially this July moments because even though they've been back together after a long period of on and off again relationship during ON comeback through to festa season, and then May when JM finally asked for space in their relationship(see previous posts for details)

I've being unsure about Jimin. I've been anxious to know what the outcome of his asking for space to think things through would be.

Jikook have a push and pull relationship dynamic. We been known. Mostly when one steps back from their relationship for whatever reason, the other leans in to pull them back in.

Same thing has been happening from January where Jimin would be pulling one minute, the next he would be like meh and JK would be push to pull him back in.

That was the case in this (June-July) Japan comeback interviews. Jk was front center with expressing interest in JM pulling him whereas JM was like meh, I'm down for this baby but let's keep it professional for the group's sakes.

Just look at them here... (Photo of them at 2020 Japan interview where Jk said he was looking at JM)

See what I mean? Now you may not notice at first but look at JM's demeanor and compare it to moments in past interviews whenever JK is talking about him or their relationship.

Jk was on his flirting game which he usually is when he wants to break the ice with Jimin if there's been tension between them or when someone around is making a pass at JM and he wants them to know what's up- he ain't slick. Lol

At times too he takes the initiative to flirt when he is feeling super confident and cocky and hella bold and just wants to. Trust me, when he flirts with Jimin, IT IS NOT FOR FANSERVICE. He means that shit.

Now compare JM's body language in that Japan interview moment this one right here: (photo of JM and Jk at the interview where JK said from now on together)

Jimin usually acts very coy, giddy and whipped even around JK when JK flirts with him but most importantly he seems to egg JK on in such moments. He enjoys being claimed openly by JK just as much as JK loves being claimed by JM publicly- which is why as nervous as that makes him he keeps going back for more.

Now this is gonna sound controversial but I have seen JM tell Suga off at times when Suga has tried to initiate skinship with him. I won't show you the picture but you can watch it for yourself during the On Come back where they wore Purple and black. It happened right at the moment Suga touched JMs back. JM mouthed 'Hajima' to Suga to stop touching him. That's all I'm gonna say y'all. Lmho. Don't want trouble.

My point is, these boys have a filter. If they don't want something done to them they won't hesitate to say it or show it. Much like when JK pushed Tae's hand away during a VLive- and he's pushed JM off sometimes too. He is assertive more so than all the members. If he doesn't want something he won't do it or allowed it.

Suga asked him not to get the tattoos when he first expressed interest in them way back in American Hustle life. But he told them if army loves him they would love everything he does and not try to limit him. Jk does as JK pleases.

So yea, if JK didn't like what Jimin has been doing with him he wouldn't be around him much less reciprocate those feelings and actions and initiating them on his own at times. Their interactions are MUTUAL.

And yes, that was shade.

Jimin understands the guts it takes JK to take such initiatives with him and so he kinds of encourages Jk to go on with it or acts in a way that boosts JK's ego. Like when JK shouted 'arrest me' in the middle of an interview. Jk... SMH.

So it was a bit unsettling to watch JM not even try to flirt back with JK in moments like this like he usually would. Dude wasn't even initiating their shtick during this period first of all nor was he responding to them in a way he usually would.

Not sure the aesthetics he was going for here but it screamed let's keep this professional on camera and get naughty when we get home. Or much like, dude I asked for space and I'm realizing I like you just as much but stop coming on too strong.

Which frankly, is what the members have been asking them to do since October last year when the hashtag to cancel Jikook in S.K trended. So JM wouldn't be wrong to take such a stand....

Given that the crux of their issue has been that Jikook is developing into a brand almost independent of BTS' brand and this in a way is affecting the dynamics of the group, a little discretion wouldn't hurt.

The cheers for Jikook moments are getting louder and louder each year even at events such as awards and not just on stage. Jikook is taking a lifeform of it's own. Its becoming a brand almost as powerful as BTS' brand. They are a power couple or becoming one. Like or not. Their fans are becoming loud and large too. So often, lately, it seems they tend to steal the show and direct attention away from the band. It's crazy.

Tae literally had the floor, delivering his speech at the MMA 2019 but people weren't even paying attention to that at all. They were more interested in Jikook and whatever they were doing and they went nuts the moment JK held Jimin and even wilder when he placed his head on Jimin which is what lead to infamous standoff with RM.

JM had literally bumped his butt against Hobi's crotch region moments before the Jikook moment but the crowd didn't lose it as much. Please go back and listen to the deafening sounds of the crowd for yourself.

As much as we love Jikook, there are some that don't and they can be very loud. I'll leave it there. Please support Jikook. Thank you.

BTS had a whole concert end of October 2019 and the hashtag that trended was 'cancel Jikook.' That took away from the hardwork of the band and reduced it to a few seconds of two boys fanboying over eachother. That's.... sigh.

When you see it this way, the RM separating them at Jingle bell red carpet, on stage or even BigHit trying to regulate their Vlives make sense.

Moving on. So yea I wasn't sure about JM all this past few months especially as I believe he had asked for space in their relationship. You might not think much of it but given as JM had said in the past how if he had a lover he would want to be with them all the time and Jikook do spend a lot of time around each other but suddenly hear them talk about spending time apart and enjoying it and what not....

But I think I can stop worrying now because HE IS BACK! There is a new Jimin in town and he is taking names! Good for him!

And I don't mean his new hairdo this August. I mean the new attitude. This attitude:

In this interview he says he would take JK to an island which smart decision. I would take JK too cos dude can do anything, cant he?! Bless him.

But thats beside the point. What I think is happening here is, Jimin finally took a stand. He made up his mind and he is not getting pushed around anymore. Because this Jimin hasn't showed up in a while now. Now he seems quite defiant most times if you've been paying attention to him, so rebellious, so sure of himself. Good for him. Spending time to himself has done him some good. It's given him room to reflect and sort out his priorities.

He loves his work, his band and he loves JK and it's hard when all of those start rubbing against eachother. But Fuck professionalism. He is in love with JK and that is professionalism too. Add loving JK till the end of time to his profession bishes!! :p

Sorry. I got carried away.

But seriously, he seems like his old self but it's also a new self because he hasn't been that self for a hot minute. This is JK's sweat tastes like holy water Jimin. This is I promised Jk I will go to the moon with him Jimin, this is I wanna go on a trip alone with JK Jimin- but badder. If you are a hardcore JM stand like I am you'd understand what I'm talking about.

HE IS BACK BABY! Our daddy is back!

The point of this post is to say, I believe JM finally figured out what he wants. So now hopefully the up and down should die down because quite frankly it's hard to keep up with those two I swear! We need a smooth sail Jikook. Make it happen!

I love it. I love where this is going and I can't wait to see more of their interactions so cheers to Jikookers and congratulations to Jimin for putting his shit together. We wanted rain. We about to be hit with a tsunami of Jikook moments.

Stay blessed. Stay beautiful. Jikook forever.

Signed,

Goldy

#jikooktheories #kookmintheories #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #bts jungkook #jikook fights #kookmin #jikook #bts jimin #jikook scenarios #jikook is not fanservice #its about to rain Jikook #jikook fluff #jiminshiii #bts angst #jungkook angst #jikook social media au #Jikook pride #gay pride #pride icons #pride #nightswithkookmin

[cass-y0inks]

Adopted Marinette

This was an idea that I asked @virgil-is-a-cutie and I was a bit hesitant about how I wanted to do about this but a couple of others contributed with their ideas and It kind of build up my confidence so here we are. I do plan on posting more on this but I don’t have like an actual schedule because now my school has been giving out more projects which means more homework but I can make time. Sorry I’m rambling a lot, let’s get started. FYI these are just ideas some might change.

Tom and Sabine

First off, Tom and Sabine had always wanted kids of their own it was their only wish ever since they had gotten married. There was just one problem, having kids was a big risk to Sabine so Tom was hesitant at first when she asked about having a child but eventually he gave in. Sabine had been so hopeful that everything would be alright. But when she went to the doctor to check on the baby, the doctor had told her that if she chose to give birth to her baby she wouldn’t last long after that. Tom was not with her, it was a very busy day at the bakery so he couldn’t go with her. She had to make the choice right then and there, or else it would probably be to late. Not for a second did Sabine think that she was going to give up her child, it had only been a couple of months maybe 4-5 but that was enough to make her dream about her baby. When Sabine went home after the appointment the only thing she told Tom was that they were going to have a little girl.

Of course Tom was very excited, he was going to have a little girl! It was their dream come true. They had a baby shower, planned out the nursery, and in the end chose the name Marinette Dupain-Cheng. But during the remaining months Sabine felt much guilt, she was keeping a big secret from her own husband! But it was too late to turn back, her daughter’s birth date was estimated to be during the last week of October and the beginning of November, which was only a couple of days away.

Marinette was born on the 3of November. It had been a very painful hours for Sabine, but she managed to pull through, the only thing in her mind was the image of her daughter growing up to be a loving and caring person. When she hooded her daughter for the first time it made her feel complete, and even thought she knew she only had a few hours left she still had enough strength to tell Tom how much she loved him and their new daughter. Sabine died with Marinette in her arms and Tom holding her hand.

After that, Tom felt so hollow, his wife, his light, was gone and he couldn’t do anything about it. He did keep Marinette her some time but it took him so much to even look at her in the eyes, her blue-gray eyes, she looked so much like her mama. It pained him. He knew he wasn’t in the right mentality state to take care of a baby, it wouldn’t do ether of them any good. So when she was a few weeks old, he took her to an orphanage at Gotham. Even though it was cruel to say he thought it would be best if they never saw each other, so he took her there.

And that was it for him. At least for now.

Batfam, papa Dick.

Marinette was maybe 4 weeks old when Tom left her at the orphanage in Gotham. They treated her with much care and loved the little sunbeam that had somehow landed in Gotham. A couple of weeks before her first birthday there was an attack, human traffickers to be exact. They were there to take the young ones away to do unspeakable things, horrible things. One of them had taken baby Marinette and was holding her in their arms as they put the other kids in trucks.

About 4 min after they arrived the building was surrounded by copse and of course, Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, and Red Robin. A few moments later only about 5 of the attackers remained, one of them having baby Marinette in their arms. They all spit up and Nightwing went for the one that held her. After what seemed hours the traffickers were arrested and Nightwing was rocking, and singing to the baby in his arms.

When he holded her in his arms it felt like he held a precious treasure. Her eyes, her blue-gray eyes, they held so much hope and dreams and love, her smile looked like it could light up even the darkness of days, her delicate hair slowly flowing at the tamed wind of the night, and her small laugh was like the most beautiful melody he ever heard. But eventually he had to let her go.

When he went to sleep that night he thought about him holding her again, himself singing to her, her calling her...papa. But his family was going to think he was crazy, adopting a baby at 19! He was going to push those thoughts in back into his head as possible but he remembered her laugh.

You know, he did know how to take care of others, he read books, he had babysitted before, and he did take care of his brothers sometimes.

On Marinette’s first birthday, she became Marinette Greyson.

This is the first part of some of the ideas that I want to try out for this AU. I’m already working on the second part, I may post it today later on or tomorrow, Bye!!

Tag list and people who have been a big help:

@virgil-is-a-cutie @caffeinetheory @witchsblackfox @kawaiigiantjudgefish @theatreandcomicfreak @a-|123-123|-universe

#adopted!marinette au #marinette greyson #maribat au #maribat #MB dick #MB marinette #MB Batfam #MB jason #BM tim #MB bruce #my writing #my headcanons

[vtforpedro]

LONG POST, medical update. ptsd, suicide TW: I’m really tired. I feel like I’ve been saying that for a year but I am exhausted. mind, body and soul exhausted my head got better after I lost the water weight my chemo pill was packing on (I was 15lbs lighter than the three weeks previously. so it was pretty bad lol) but now it’s getting bad again. it never gets to the point of relief, but it gets manageable and now it’s becoming unmanageable again. it’s not water weight but it might be cause I’ve put on a couple pounds over the holidays (just barely a couple pounds, I’m eating much lighter in general) anyway I don’t see the point of being scared to name what it is my neurosurgeon and I believe this is anymore. my psychiatrist thinks it makes sense, my pcp, even the ER doctor I saw on dec. 2nd lol but I am 99.9% sure this is what I have and it does makes sense but every fucking time I think about it for a while it makes me so angry. so so so angry y’all. I wish I could sit every single medical professional I interacted with over the last year or so who didn’t believe me and tell them it’s all been real, they failed me to such a degree I have ptsd and anger problems that I’m going to need therapy for, and tell them to learn how to be better providers. blegh so I saw my neurosurgeon (one of the best in the country) for the first time in april. his thoughts? anxiety with muscle tension in my back and neck that led to tension in my head. as in the muscles around my bones, not inside of my skull. didn’t listen to me or believe me, thought all my crazy symptoms were just anxiety and possibly the chiari malformation but there’s no treatment for that beyond surgery and mine is so mild no one wants to go that route (me most of all lmao) I put off seeing him again because I saw different neurologists and my PCP over the months who basically all said the same thing. like my PCP believed me and gave me referrals to the neuros, but one told me to ‘stop worrying about this and just enjoy life’ and the other sat with me for an hour, the first half of which she was all on board the ‘anxiety is fucking with you, none of this is real’ train until I had to tell her to LISTEN TO MY SYMPTOMS firmly enough that she did. she went the opposite way then and said yeah ok something ‘mechanical’ is happening, you need to go back to a neurosurgeon. turned out she loves the neurosurgeon I saw in april (worship the ground he walks on, were her words) but told me maybe I still needed a second opinion. she did also mention that I’ve been living with this for so long that I’m ‘married to it now’ which still implies I’m making it worse than it actually is but :) whatever, she couldn’t think of what it could be decided to just go back to that neurosurgeon and tell him the physical therapy he prescribed in april I had to stop because it made things worse. his PA tried to prescribe me more PT on the phone before I firmly told her I needed to SPEAK with him face to face because my quality of life is gone, because I get close to killing myself weekly because of how bad this is and nothing has improved since april. only gotten worse. so I had my appt with him in late October I think? I explained all of my symptoms (again) and told him how nothing has changed, things have gotten worse, when I do x y z I have an episode, etc etc. he said he still doesn’t think it’s the chiari but he said it *might* be IIH idiopathic intracranial hypertension first time I’ve ever heard of it and even though it was over 11 months into this, it might just save my life now that I have idiopathic = we don’t fucking know why this happens, intracranial = HAPPENING IN MY SKULL AND BRAIN, hypertension = technically high blood pressure, but for here just high pressure cause my BP is good it is rare, it is unknown why people get it and why others don’t, it is most common in women of child bearing age who are obese. the thought is that the weight on the body causes the brain to very slightly inflate, decreasing spinal fluid flow and increasing pressure in the brain, sometimes CAUSING a chiari malformation to appear, which can cause other symptoms on top of IIH it used to be called pseudotumor cerebri because IIH makes the brain behave like it has a tumor while no tumor is actually present (which means normal MRI/CT scans and the main reason everyone told me I was faking it) I gained 80lbs in less than two years due to severe depression and ptsd. I’ve been at the same weight for almost two years now and was at that weight in Feb 2019 before things started happening in Dec 2019. sometimes it does just come on one day. it can be chronic, it can randomly go into remission and come back, and they have no idea why it even happens. it’s rare enough that no neurologist I saw could even think of it. rare enough that one of the best neurosurgeons in the country didn’t think of it until he decided he believed me lol he leans even more heavily into this because I gained weight so quickly (one of the hallmarks of getting IIH) and I had not a single symptom like it before the weight gain I don’t trust anything or anyone right now and I am extremely pessimistic and have no hope. but the one thing that’s given me a little hope, that’s made me believe this is what I have, is the fucking wikipedia page on IIH. it lists one specific symptom that I’ve seen nowhere else (and is EXTREMELY specific lmao) that I have and that everyone thought I was crazy explaining. beyond destroying your quality of life, the one thing IIH can do is cause permanent blindness. I’ve had a fuck ton of problems with my vision since this all started happening. one of the worst is that if I’m in the middle of an episode and I look up or to the left, it makes it h u r t and makes the episode worse. which is on the wikipedia page! which explains why I couldn’t fucking do EMDR therapy which involves rapid eye movement from side to side :) :) :) even my therapist was thinking this was all in my head and I was just letting my anxiety tell me EMDR would send my head into an episode instead of it actually happening lmaaaao god I am so angry y’all my mom and my uncle The Doctor wanted to commit me in March/April. I had an entire ER nurses station mock me for ten minutes for coming in repeatedly and having bizarre symptoms that, because they were unexplained, they thought I was faking. they belittled me when talking to me. one put the tv remote (no tv in the room) instead of the call button in my hand when I was too out of it to notice. the ER doctor that day told me I was making up a story, none of this was real, and to continue seeing my psychiatrist. I went home that day, told my mom I was fine for her to go back to work (she was angry with me and wanted me to go to a psychiatric hospital), took a shower and planned on swallowing a bottle of pills. I was in agony, utter agony, every single day multiple times a day I thought I was going to die, and it was being made clear to me that no one, not even my mom, believed me. I told my best friend and she talked me out of it, but I came very close and I will forever be heartbroken and angry beyond belief about this (my mom came around not long after this after seeing that this wasn’t going away and has thoroughly apologized for wanting to commit me. she has been helping me every single day since this started even tho she thought it was anxiety. I’m angry but I don’t hold it against her, not after the incredible sacrifices she’s made for me for a year) so yeah. every bizarre symptom, every agonizing thing I go through, the weird discomfort, pain and burning, vision problems, etc etc, all explained by IIH. the very specific ‘looking in a certain direction makes it worse’ has been there since day one. it’s because pressure has increased on the nerve behind my eyes so looking in a certain way aggravates the affected nerve further gaining all that water weight and having my head get so so so severe, enough to send me to the ER again, made me also think this was a real possibility and the ER doc agreed that the fluid retention was making pressure in my brain even more severe and it did ease quite a lot once that was all gone, another reason I believe this is IIH if you read up on IIH or read stories by people with it, it is life altering, debilitating, and agonizing to live with. most people will also have the same story of doctors not believing them and saying it was anxiety before getting this diagnosis the good thing? there’s a cure and while some people may need additional help later on, it works for most people. and it is, very simply, losing weight. 10-20% of body weight (some places say relief can start at just 3%) seems to completely cure it for most people because the brain is no longer inflated and because of that, any chiari malformation (cerebral tonsils sitting in the spinal cord opening) will actually go away, because it makes room in the skull for the tonsils to go back to their normal place I have some trouble knowing that I am partially at fault for gaining weight like I did, but my mom keeps telling me it’s so rare and how could I have possibly known and it was after severe trauma so. trying to deal with that too lol but yeah! weight loss journey. my chemo pill, if you read my last update, completely fucked me up for a while (including the fuckin weight gain despite a low calorie, low fat diet since like nov 1st) so it’s made it hard to lose weight. but now that I’m off of that pill, I’m down 7lbs and I will continue to lose. I have never been more motivated in my life to lose weight lmao and I’ve successfully done it before! I can’t exercise but my neurosurgeon said as the weight comes off and my symptoms start getting better, I will probably be able to incorporate more movement in my life. I can’t even walk around my apt for too long right now cause it builds pressure in my brain. it fucking sucks because this is something they don’t understand, it’s really only diagnosed if everything else has been ruled out (and with a lumbar puncture, but I am too fucking traumatized to have that done. but if I showed high pressure with no reason for it, it would be an ‘official’ IIH diagnosis). but I’m choosing not to do the LP because if I start to have my symptoms relieved as I lose weight, it’s pretty obvious that’s what this has been from the start my brain thinks it has a brain tumor and is going absolutely batshit insane and no matter how much I tried to get people to believe me, it took 11 months to get there. I will carry this with me for the rest of my life and once covid eases, I’m finding a good trauma therapist and working through this if my symptoms DON’T ease, we’ll talk brain surgery. but I think this is what I have and I think I’ll be okay when I lose enough weight (and I’ll feel better all around lol) anyway I’ve had an extremely bad couple of months and I wanted to get this off my chest, sorry it’s so long. if you can please, please, please cross your fingers for me and wish me luck that this is what it is and that over the next handful of months I lose the weight and get my life back, I will appreciate it more than I can say I’m going to thank all of you ahead of time because I lack spoons to reply right now and I also want to thank you all for your support over this last year and never doubting me. for always offering me words of encouragement and for being angry on my behalf. thank you thank you thank you I love you all <3

#personal #medical #health update #tw suicide #long post

[yoonia]

❥ Content Creator Year in Review

☞ tagged by @yeoldontknow, @chillingkoo, @inkedtae, @onherwings, @moononthejoon, @kpopfanfictrash (my precious, talented bubs. I love you! Happy almost New Year!) and retagged by @flurrys-creativity @jimlingss 

⇀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020: I kicked off 2020 with the release of Carousel Epilogue (Yoongi). That was a defining moment for me because it truly felt like I was ending one specific era to start another. Which was true, by the way, because Carousel had marked the rise of my blog at one point and it had been a part of my long journey in writing fanfiction that releasing that epilogue and ending the series then had become a true turning point for me and my blog. My most recent creation was Blurred Lines (Seokjin, ongoing). I never meant this one to be a series, but somewhere in the middle of writing it, I felt like the story needed to progress in small paces to build up the momentum. I have always had a hard time writing for Seokjin, seeing the actual person himself has multiple layers that we tend to misidentify him with the persona he normally shows us in public. I simply wanted to show that part of him in this story, while creating a new persona for Seokjin that I’ve had in mind since way back then when I wrote Hazy. 

⇀ one of your favourite creations from 2020: I’ve mentioned a few favourites a while ago, but the one that sticks to me the most personally was Spotless Minds (Hoseok). I wrote this based on my favourite movie, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Minds, taking the original idea of introducing two characters who erased a part of their past but giving it a more in-depth backstory compared to the movie itself. I still added a few elements that you may find from the movie but written here differently: the beach house, the waiting room, the stages where Hoseok was slowly losing his memory, and I added a few things that may help readers who haven't watched the movie to understand the aspects of the story a bit better without having to go back and watch the movie first. What pleases me most about this fic was the writing style that I used then — the sequences of the scenes, the back and forth between the timeline to reveal all the twists and turns — and then putting them all together. It was just fun creating this one.

⇀ a creation you’re really proud of: Oh, this one is the hardest to decide. I can’t choose between We Are All Dreamers (Jungkook) and Never Falling (Jimin). WAAD was a bit challenging to me. I love soulmate aus and I believe I had gotten stuck on this story right in the middle of it until I decided to add Jungkook’s pov in it to help with the story’s progression. I’m proud of how it came to be (and I can’t wait to share the continuing story for it) and how I’d gotten through the process of writing it. NF took me quite a while to finish, but I love every single thing about it. The story building, the tension, the momentum, and I think the characters I created in this story have become the pairing that I have grown to care the most this year aside from Strip!Jimin and his OC.  

⇀ a creation that took you forever: The Half-Lycan (Taehyung) and Of Bears and Bonds (Seokjin). Both stories took a while to work on due to their part in the Shifters series, which required me to take my time in planning and working things together to make sure that the story and the timeline would line up perfectly with its origin story, Blood Moon Rising. THL was actually planned to be posted on Tae’s birthday last year, but it took me 6 months to finish. OBB was planned to be posted immediately as both stories correlated between each other, but then things happened and what was planned to be an extremely long one-shot had ended up becoming a trilogy (the original word count was 69k words lol). 

⇀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: The Half-Lycan, I think? I know it went over 2k notes while the others remain somewhere around 1k or less lol Idk man, I don’t keep up with notes. I’m grateful for all the feedback, the reblogs, and the comments, so I remember those the most compared to the numbers. 

⇀ a creation you think deserved more notes: Ravished by Two (Namjoon, Seokjin), Spotless Minds (Hoseok), Red Series (Yoongi). Seriously, I love writing for Hyung line, but they don’t get enough love from everyone :( I must add Bed & Boyfriend(s) (Taehyung, Yoonkook) too because I worked hard on that one and I need it to get some more love lol

⇀ a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: I’m starting to get into Stray Kidz and Ateez more lately. I haven’t made any creation for them aside from adding Wooyoung (Ateez) as a side character in Spotless Minds haha I did write Simon Says for Simon Dominic though. 

⇀ a creation you made that breaks your heart: Slow and Steady (Jungkook) took the front seat on this one. I’ve fallen in love with the original idea when it was sent to me for a commission. I knew it would cause a lot of heartbreak and it did spark some reactions from my readers that I enjoyed reading through once the fic was up. I just didn’t think it would hurt ME in the process as well :/

⇀ a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: Let’s see… Pay By Play (Jungkook), Red Lipstick (Yoongi, from the Red Series), the drabbles I’ve made this year for Carousel and The Stand-In. Can I really call these ‘simple’ tho? Hahaha 

⇀ a creation that was inspired by another one: Strip! (Jimin) was a spin-off for Bad For You. Though I had originally started this series since October the year before, I still have to mention this one because I only began working on the final chapter after I was done with Carousel at the beginning of the year. The Half-Lycan was actually inspired by its drabbles. I’d never intended to expand Blood Moon Rising’s universe into the series you are seeing now, but when I was writing Rapture during NaNoWriMo 2019, I began to imagine Taehyung and his wolf pack to become a part of Jimin’s story. Since I was already planning to introduce the members as a pack in BMR in future chapters, I decided to link the two universes together and have Taehyung from Rapture to have his own story before I get to introduce the others. This decision was what had led me to create the entire Shifter series universe. 

⇀ a favourite creation created by someone else: umm...I haven’t had a chance to actually read a lot of fanfics this year as I have gotten into original stories more and the year has been crazy busy. The ones that I’ve read and shared are listed in my side blog, @diaficrecs. But here are a few that I’ve read but haven’t gotten a chance to write down my comment or feedback on and they are now sitting on my rec blog’s draft until the day I can get my thoughts together T^T — Inner Needs by @avveh, Divine Intervention by @opaljm, Third Wheeling by @untaemedqueen, Molotov Cocktail by @yeoldontknow, Aphrodite in War by @jungblue, Always Trust In Pixie Dust by @readyplayerhobi, daechwita by @ironicarmy, and I have to mention the one I’ve been re-reading the most, When You Watch by @gardentulips 

⇀ some of your favorite content creators from the year: aside from the beautiful people mentioned above, here are my beloved, talented friends — @jamaisjoons @suqakoo @softyoongiionly @randombtsprincessa @hungline @guktro @underthejoon @gukslut @gukyi @floralseokjin @ladyartemesia @baebae-goodnight @hobidreams

⇀ and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: omg I don’t think I can mention them one by one so let me just drop my masterlist here, here, and here :) 

⇀ tagging: everyone mentioned above who hasn’t done this yet...and if you don’t see your name here, feel free to do this if you want to and add me so I can add new stuff on my to-read-list :)) 

#tagged #fic talk #get to know me #long post #you know I won't stop talking when it comes to my writing

[conradscrime]

Winnie Ruth Judd: The Trunk Murderess

March 11, 2021

This is one of my all time favourite true crime cases. I first heard about Winnie Ruth Judd, also known as “the Trunk Murderess” a few years ago when my grandmother let me borrow a book she had read about it. The book I read was written by Jana Bommersbach and was truly amazing, she did an incredible job telling the story and did not skip a detail. This is a long case and I will not be covering everything in this short post, however I encourage everyone to do their own research and read the book!

Winnie Ruth McKinnell, also known as Marian Lane later in life, was born on January 29, 1905 in Indiana to parents Rev. H. J. McKinnell who was a Methodist minister and his wife Carrie. 

Winnie met and married Dr. William C. Judd in 1922 at the age of 17. Dr. Judd was 20 years older than Winnie and a World War I veteran and their marriage had various problems. Dr. Judd was a morphine addict who had a hard time keeping down a job thus making the couple move around a lot and face financial struggles. Winnie was unable to have children and this further strained the marriage. 

In 1930 Winnie and her husband were living separately but still communicated quite frequently. Winnie moved to Phoenix Arizona and began working as a governess for a wealthy family. 

It was in Phoenix where Winnie met John J. Halloran, also known as “Happy Jack” by the media. Happy Jack was a very well known businessman and extremely good looking and though he was married him and Winnie began an affair. 

Winnie found a job working as a secretary at a medical clinic and this where she would meet her two best friends, Agnes Anne LeRoi and Hedvig “Sammy” Samuelson who were roommates having moved from Alaska to Phoenix due to Sammy contracting tuberculosis. Tuberculosis was extremely common back in the 1930′s and it was known that areas of warmer climates helped those with TB get better, so Phoenix being an extremely hot and sunny place was ideal. 

Anne and Sammy also knew Happy Jack and it seems as though they were very flirty with him as well. Jack apparently was the ladies “meal ticket” they relied on him heavily financially and emotionally and he had made a connection with all of them.

 The three women hit it off and soon became fast friends, with Winnie even moving in with Anne and Sammy for a brief period in 1931, though she soon moved out in her own apartment as there was some differences among them. I’m assuming these differences were very minor, they just seemed to have differences about running a household because the three remained besties even after Winnie moved out on her own. 

On the night of October 16, 1931 an alleged fight broke out between the three women and Winnie Ruth Judd murdered Anne LeRoi and Sammy Samuelson. Winnie shot both women with a .25 caliber handgun in their bungalow and what she did with the bodies is extremely disturbing. 

Two days later on October 18, 1931 Winnie boarded the train on her way to Los Angeles, California and had two trunks of luggage with her. However, one of the baggage handlers said the luggage smelled really bad as well as he could see some kind of “fluid” escaping from them. He notified the district baggage agent thinking that what was inside the trunks was just deer meat. How wrong he was.

 The trunks were then tagged to be held for inspection and when asked for the key to open the trunks Winnie Ruth Judd claimed she did not have a key for them. The trunks were sent to the police station where the police finally opened them and what was found inside was extremely disturbing. 

The dismembered body of Sammy Samuelson were found inside of the trunks, while Anne LeRoi’s body was found stuffed into a trunk but completely intact; she had not been dismembered. Winnie was not there when the police discovered the contents in the trunks, she had actually gotten her brother to pick her up and drop her off somewhere in L.A. When the contents of the trunks were discovered Winnie Ruth Judd had disappeared though she eventually turned herself in a few days later on October 23, 1931. 

Of course Winnie became the prime suspect right away since she literally was attempting to travel with two trunks full of her best friends dismembered bodies. She was dubbed “The Trunk Murderess” “Tiger Woman” and “The Blonde Butcher” and the media had an absolute field day with it. 

The main motive people suspected was obviously jealously. The prosecution believed that Winnie had murdered her friends because they also had feelings for Happy Jack and that the women were fighting over him when they were killed. 

When police visited the bungalow where the murders took place on October 19, 1931 they made some shocking discoveries. According to police it did not appear as if the women were shot during an enraged fight at all, it appeared as though they were actually shot and killed in their sleep. 

The strange part was that both of the women’s mattresses were not found in the house when police went. One mattress was found miles away in a vacant lot with no blood stains on it and one mattress was never found at all. 

Winnie Ruth Judd’s trial began on January 19, 1932. She was only being tried for the murder of Anne though, not Sammy, therefore the dismemberment aspect was never brought up in court because Anne had not been dismembered. 

They argued that the murders were premeditated and that Winnie had planned this due to the fact that the women’s friendship was deteriorating with jealously over Jack Halloran. Winnie herself had a gunshot wound on her left hand which they believed was self-inflicted; her attempt to take the blame off of herself. 

Winnie Ruth Judd was charged with first-degree murder on February 8 and was sentenced to hang on February 17, 1933. They figured a death sentence would make Winnie confess who her accomplice was because a lot of people found it impossible that a small woman like Winnie Ruth Judd would have been able to kill, dismember, and get the bodies in the trunks all on her own. 

However, Winnie’s death sentence was overturned after they found her mentally incompetent and she was sent to the Arizona State Asylum for the Insane on April 24, 1933. 

Jack Halloran became under suspicious when it was found that he had been having an affair with Winnie. Lots of people believed that he was Winnie’s accomplice in the murders and had helped her dismember them. Winnie testified against Jack in mid January 1933. 

Winnie claimed that on the night of the murders she had gone over to Anne and Sammy’s place to hangout and play bridge with them. At one point she said the three women began fighting because Winnie had told them that another woman Jack had been seen hanging with named Lucille Moore had syphilis and was being treated for it. Supposedly the women began telling Winnie that she needed to let Jack know about the syphilis but Winnie told the women she could not tell Jack about Lucille’s medical history because of her job and the risk of losing it plus according to her Jack and Lucille were just friends. 

Anne and Sammy did not believe this and Anne threatened Winnie telling her she would tell Jack about Lucille’s syphilis. Winnie fighting back told Anne that if she told Jack, Winnie would go around and tell everyone that Anne and Sammy were lesbians which I think was a rumour going around considering the two women lived together and were unmarried at their age, and back in the 1930′s that was insane. 

Winnie said the women started physically attacking her and she killed them in self defence. I just want to say the above information about syphilis and lesbianism is from one source I found and there is probably no way of knowing if this is exactly what started the fight between the three women. 

Jack’s team argued that Winnie was crazy and that this was the story of a crazy person and Jack was freed from the case on January 25, 1933 though his reputation was still ruined and he eventually fell out of business and died in 1939. 

Winnie escaped from the asylum a total of 6 times, with the longest time being from 1963 to 1969 when her identity was finally discovered in California and she was taken back to Arizona. 

Winnie Ruth Judd was paroled on December 22, 1971 and in 1983 she was issued an absolute discharge meaning she was no longer considered a parolee. Winnie Ruth Judd died at the age of 93 on October 23, 1998 in Stockton California. 

Winnie had written a confession in 1933 stating that she had planned to murder Anne due to her fighting for Jack’s affection with Winnie. Winnie claimed she had not intended to kill Sammy, but when Sammy walked in on Winnie and found Anne dead she began to fight with her. In this confession Winnie said that everything had been done by her alone, she had not had an accomplice, not even to help her transport the trunks. 

Some people do not believe that this is a true confession, they think that Winnie just wrote this in an attempt to keep going with an insanity plea. So what do you guys think? Is Winnie guilty of murdering her friends in cold blood, did she really just mean to kill Anne or did she kill both women in self-defense? I’d love to hear what you guys think about this one!

I barley scratched the surface of all of the interesting information about this case, I 100% recommend you all look further into this one because it’s insanely interesting to me and there’s so much more to it. 

I don’t think we will ever truly know what happened on the night of October 16, 1931, but after almost 90 years this case still haunts America. 

#winnie #ruth #judd #trunk #murderess #truecrime #true crime #unsolved #solved #1930s #arizona #california #Crime

[demonwifey]

ASK ASK ASK ASK BEETLEBOY GETS THE SNUGGLES HE DESERVES AND IS SOFT W READER WHO KINDA JUST HOLD HIM AND KISSES AWAY HIS INSECURITIES BC I KNOW IM SOFT FOR THIS MAN AND I WANNA SMOOCH HIM

Whew, so this took me a while to finish. The whole thing with the pandemic, police brutality, and I’m taking a 5 week summer class. It’s just been crazy. Thanks you guys so much for being patient while I hadn’t posted. I’m gonna try to post again sooner than later, so be on the look out for that. Hope you guys enjoy!💜🖤💚

Warning: Cursing, mentions of sex, slightly drunk reader

Word Count: 4,596

There was something wrong with Beetlejuice...besides the usual. Normally Beetlejuice was a firecracker that never fizzled out. His chaotic personality, among other things, is what you loved about him. He wasn’t normal like every other person you dated before, ignore the fact that he was literally a demon from hell. He was just better, in every way possible.

****

When you both first met, it was something you’d basically hoped for your whole life. You always had a thing for scary stuff. Horror movies, haunted houses, etc. Anything related to the supernatural, you wanted to know more about. You weren’t exactly sure why these things interested you so much, they just did. And, unfortunately for them, you always subjected your friends to joining you in any strange activity you participated in. 

You met Beetlejuice on your 25th birthday. Your friends asked you how you wanted to celebrate, hoping you would pick something ‘normal’. Maybe a club, a rooftop dinner, hell even mini golf sounded like a better plan then what you always had in mind. But you rejected their ideas, saying you wanted to go to the new haunted mansion attraction near your house. Your birthday was in October so all types of Halloween related attractions were coming to light. 

Of course, your friends all groaned at the idea, just wanting to not deal with anything scary for once. But they loved you nonetheless and just sucked it up like always. 

The day came for your haunted mansion adventures and you were too excited. When you all pulled up to the mansion, it looked like a regular house. The outside looked old and ratty but it didn’t look exactly terrifying. When you guys came up to the ticket booth, the hostess tried her best to sound scary. She talked in a low tone and sounded out her words as slowly as she could. Making it blatantly obvious that she was putting on an act. 

Once you all were inside, you were disappointed beyond belief. It was dark...and that was it. All the lights were turned off and there were black, what looked like, sheets hanging from the ceiling. There seemed to be a random strobe light sitting somewhere in the corner as flashes of black and white were hitting your eyes. So yeah, disappointed was definitely an understatement. 

Here you were, thinking you’d get the actual experience of a genuine haunted house but it turned out to be a cheap let down. Your friends were relieved though. They didn’t actually have to deal with anything too scary. Oh, well. They were convinced you wanted to leave at that point but you weren’t. They’d already bought tickets in so you all might as well stay. Plus, the house had three stories. Maybe you could find something interesting throughout this whole shitty thing. 

Knowing that you’d actually want to find something more scary, you told your friend you wanted to split up. They could take their time talking and staying on the main level. You decided to head up, trying to get to the attack. You could usually find interesting stuff in an attic. On your way up you were met with more and more corny attempts to be scary; random people jumping out at you, loud recorded screams coming from every direction, and having you walk through fake cobwebs as you made your way up. 

Finally you reached the top floor, but when you looked around there wasn’t any way to the attic. You were only met with a plain ceiling but decorated in cheap Halloween decorations. You were starting to feel bad that you made your friends spend money on tickets to the place. Well, you’ll probably just have to settle for dinner at a fancy restaurant like one of their other suggestions. 

Just as you turned to head back out of the empty bedroom you were in, the door slammed in front of you. ...Okay, you thought. Neat trick. You walked to the door to reopen it but just before your hand touched the doorknob, a small white card slid under the door. Your eyebrows furrowed as you reached to pick it up. The card read: 

Betelgeuse the Bio-Exorcist

Call: Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse

Speak My Name 3 Times

What the hell? Beetle-guise? Was this part of the tour? And why did that name look so familiar? You exited through the door but there was no one in sight. Shrugging your shoulders, you absentmindedly placed the card in your jacket pocket before heading down to meet back up with your friends. 

The night ended with you stumbling into your apartment, sober enough to make it home but drunk enough to stumble every few steps. If there was one thing your friends were good at, it was making sure you drank away your disappointment when things didn’t go your way. You plopped yourself down onto the couch, making a lackluster attempt to pull your shoes off. Feeling your head swim a little, that’s when you remembered that strange card you found. Being drunk always made your supernatural instincts kick in. Never forget the time you wrote a whole astronomy paper after your friends wanted to go out just before being flooded by work for finals. 

Wait...astronomy. You sat up on the couch, trying to rack your brain of why the name on the card sounded so familiar. That’s when it hit you. The name you remember your teacher going on about when you covered a section on stars, their brightness, and every other thing you barely cared about. 

Beetlejuice! Duh Y/N, you thought. The tenth brightest star in the night sky. You reached into your pocket, fumbling a little as you pulled the card out. Your vision was semi foggy but still clear enough to read the card. 

“Say my name 3 times.” You read to yourself. It was probably a bad idea, but hell. It was your birthday and you deserved to have some type of fun after the shitty let down from earlier. The liquor in your body finally pushed you forward to read out the name. 

“Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice...Beetlejuice!” You called out. Looking around your apartment, nothing had changed. 

You felt a few goosebumps and a slight chill cover your body but that was it. Probably just a mix of anticipation and the state of your drunken mind. You let out a small huff of air before getting up to head for your bedroom. Trying to steady yourself as you walked, you suddenly felt like you bumped into someone. Hold on, someone? You don’t have a roommate. You backed up a little bit before looking up to see a strange man standing in front of you. 

The man stood, wearing a black and white striped suit that looked so old and worn out, seeming as though it would need 200 washes before it was entirely clean. He looked so pale and had different spots of, what looked like, rotted mold on his face. To top it all off, the man had a bird’s nest of beaming green hair spiked in different on his head, his beard matching the same color. To put it lightly, he looked like a dead sleazy car salesman. And you found him...strangely attractive. Yeah, that had to be the 3 Fireball shots talking now.

“Well, helloooo, gorgeous!” A deep raspy voice came from the stranger in front of you. He eyed you up and down, looking at you as though you were his prey.  

“Uh, I-...uh.” You stammered with your words, trying to form a full sentence but failing completely. You took steps backwards as the strange man walked towards you. Panic started to hit you more and more, unsure of who this man was and what he was going to do to you. 

“I know, I know. I’m such a handsome and sexy piece of beefcake that you’re at a loss for words. I get that a lot.” He spoke while smirking at you. 

Well, he took some of the words right out of your mouth, that didn’t stop you from being terrified. Before you could get any further back, the man grabbed your arms and yanked you towards him. Without a second thought you began to use your fists to beat at his chest. You were just about to scream before he started laughing. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, babydoll. Here’s a little something to take the edge off.” The man spoke, just inches from your face. 

Before you could fully take in what he said, the man swung you around, both arms wrapped around your torso and waist. He dipped you down and planted a long deep kiss directly on your lips. Again, this was probably those shots talking, but you felt your head starting to swim again. Oddly enough, the kiss made you feel some type of way. Like you were actually enjoying it? Placing both of your hands on his chest, you deepened the kiss by pushing in more and ‘accidentally’ letting out a small sound that was close to a moan. All this despite the man’s lips tasting like actual graveyard dirt. 

You weren’t sure how long you two were like that, but what was probably a few seconds felt like hours to you. He finally stood you back up, his hands rested on your waist as you regained your footing. God, your head was running at 100 mph. You quickly made your way out the man’s grip before speaking again. 

“W-who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my apartment?” You demand. The mystery man only grinned before using his thumb to rub his bottom lip. 

“Mmm, is that cinnamon I taste? You just get sexier and sexier by the minute, babes!” The man laughed. Yeah, fuck Fireball shots ever again. You felt your face heat up but you stood your ground. 

“J-just get out or I’ll call the police! And I may not look like much, but I took karate for 5 years. I’ll fuck you up until they get here!” You practically screamed. It wasn’t a lie but you hadn’t actually practiced karate since you stopped going to class, which was when you were 13. The man laughed even harder at your attempts to seem tough. 

“Okay, dollface. If you’re gonna ‘fuck me up’ then what’d you call me here for?” He asked, gripping his stomach from laughing to hard. You blinked at him. 

“What?” You asked, starting to get frustrated with all the confusion. “What do you mean call you? I never called anyone. I don’t even know you.” 

“Don’t act too confused, babes. Your face is too adorable when you look like that. You got my card, right?” He asked. You made an even more confused face and he dropped his arms in half defeat. He turned to look around before picking up the card you dropped on the floor. He lifted it so you could see the front of it. “See, that’s me. The B-man himself.”

You didn’t really need to look at the card to remember what it said. You slowly started to feel the edge come off. 

“Beetlejuice? You’re Beetlejuice?” You asked, the tension leaving your body almost immediately. The demon man nodded with a grin before making the card in his hand disappear into tiny flames, pretty much confirming your question. 

“The one and only, babycakes. Mr. ‘Ghost with the Most’ right before your very beautiful eyes.” He replied, fixing his suit jacket confidently. Don’t ask why you felt so much more relaxed at the thought of a demon being in your home rather than a real life person. Within two seconds flat, your face went from confusion and fear to beaming joy. 

“Wait so, you’re a ghost? An actual ghost?” You asked, all too anxious to get every answer you’ve ever had in your head about the supernatural. Beetlejuice could see the excitement on your face. He chuckled before answering. 

“Yes, I am, hot stuff. But, you know my name,” Beetlejuice stepped more in your direction. With the panic actually cleared from your senses, you didn’t back up anymore. “I want to know yours.”  

“Uh, Y/N.” You spoke, feeling a little bit flustered under his gaze. 

The demon man gave you one last smirk before stretching his hand out to you. You gently set your hand in his. Beetlejuice guided you back over to the couch.    

“Well, Y/N. Tell me,” Beetlejuice spoke. He still held your hand while using the other to hold your chin. You just noticed the glowing golden color that filled his eyes. He used them to stare into your own, almost like he was locking you in a trance. 

“What are you dying to know?”

****

And ever since that day, Beetlejuice was all over you as much as you were on him. It started out as a simple flirtationship. Mostly having Beetlejuice come to tell you everything and anything you wanted to know about the Netherworld. 

With Betlejuice being the biggest flirt in the universe, you couldn’t escape his constant advances. Any time you two would talk, it would turn into nothing but crude sex jokes, pet names, and flirty touches that left you more flustered then you could bare. And you didn’t mind any of these things. You were actually fascinated by Beetlejuice and his presence as a demon that you didn’t care about his distasteful nature. 

That’s when it moved into your romantic relationship. Well, more of just a sexual relationship. Friends with benefits? Something along those lines. You didn’t exactly remember how it happened. The most you could think of was you two sitting on your couch, talking like normal. Next you knew, Beej was pushing some hair behind your ears, making you get lost in his eyes as he gained your attention. One moment you were apart, the next you were practically trying to swallow each other. Not long after did you get lost in each other's bodies as the air filled with sighs and moans.  

From there on, it was your regular routine. You would summon Beej on any random day. He’d go off some chaotic tangent about who knows what and you’d listen all too eagerly. After a while, whatever conversation you were having would somehow lead right into sex. And, you thought, the both of you were okay with it. But then you realized a weird shift in his behavior. For a while, your routine stayed the same but still a little off. Whenever you two would sleep together, Beej seemed as though he was overcompensating for something. 

Now, Beetlejuice was always cocky and overconfident but now it was almost like he was hiding something. During sex, it seemed like he was seeking your approval on everything. He started being rougher and wanting to please you in every way he could. You weren’t complaining per say, it was just noticeable. He wasn’t selfish during sex but he sure as hell wasn’t that considerate. And when you two weren’t having sex, he would constantly want to talk about you or do what you wanted to do. You didn’t understand why. You were a basic human like everyone else on the planet. Beetlejuice was a demon. You’d much rather want to talk about him but he wouldn’t budge.

The final straw came on a day when you two somehow got onto the topic of your ex’s. You usually didn’t talk about any of them unless it was with your friends, to which it was more of you all making fun of them. But Beetlejuice brought it up, asking how many men you’d been with before him. You only had 1 major boyfriend in high school and two in college. When you had got with Beetlejuice, you had just broken up with the 3rd ex a year before. And, somehow, that set Beetlejuice off. 

Suddenly his hair was a mix of red and yellow. His words were going at a mile a minute and his eyes were shining brighter than you’d ever seen. He was asking questions like “why did you break up”, “what was he like”, “did he do anything to you” and “how often did you guys have sex” You didn’t actually get to answer any of his questions but knew you had to stop him when you heard “did you love them” and “were any of them better than me”. You grabbed his face, trying to get him to relax and you softly told him to calm down. His cheeks felt like fire in your palms but you didn’t pull away. Beetlejuice huffed and puffed, trying to regain his sense as you cooed at him. After what seemed like 10 minutes, his hair switched to a dark blue and purple color mixed. With your hands still on his face, you noticed that he moved his hands upward to hold yours. Just as they were about to touch, he harshly pulled away. 

Beetlejuice jumped up from the couch before looking down at you. It broke your heart as you could see the clear sadness in his eyes. Just before you could reach up and say something, he disappeared. You heard him mumble “see you later, babes” right before he was gone. You looked at the spot he was in, too many thoughts running around in your head. Something was wrong with Beetlejuice, and you needed to figure out what. 

****

A week had passed after that whole incident and Beetlejuice wanted to act like it never happened. He popped back one day when you came home from work and didn’t even bring up his random spazzing moment. He knew you were going to try and bring up and immediately distracted you with a heated kiss. You didn’t really have a second to think as you both fell backwards on the couch. He deepened the kiss and slowly slipped his hand under your shirt. Well, he was gone for a week and you did miss him. All of him. You’d just have to find time to talk afterwards. 

~

Your room was hot now. All that sighing, grunting, and panting was making the air in your room very dense. You didn’t mind though. It truly was only worth it when Beetlejuice was the one making you feel good. You laid on your side, one arm draped on top of Beetlejuice’s chest. You had gotten used to the lack of movement because of his dead nature. He laid on his back, one arm under your head as the hand played in your hair. His other rested on the hand you had on his chest. Even with the room hot, you got a little bit of a cool sensation from his skin. Beetlejuice’s entire body was ice cold but in this moment, it was the perfect temperature for you. 

“Wow, that was amazing.” You huffed out, trying to steady your breathing. You felt him squeeze your hand. 

“You know I do my best, babes.” He spoke, trying to sound confident. Hearing the attempt in his voice made you remember your original plan. Although you were a little hesitant, unsure of how he would react, you still proceeded. 

“So, Beej,” You started. You subtly tighten your grip around him, hoping that he wouldn't leave once the words slipped out. “I think we should talk about last week.” 

You felt him stiffen in your grip. With your head on his chest you couldn’t see his facial expression. The uncomfortable silence that filled the air had you so far on the edge, you were practically ready to pull your hair out. You heard Beetlejuice swallow before he spoke again. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, Y/N.” His voice was so stern that it almost made you flinch. By his standards, the conversation would’ve been over. And you almost considered it when you saw the hair on his chest turning red. You propped yourself up on one arm, now looking down at him. 

“Actually there is. Look, I know you might not want to talk about it but I do. You’ve been acting really weird these last few weeks and whatever that was last week seemed to the boiling point. Just tell me what's wrong.” You spoke. 

Using the hand still on his chest, your thumb rubbed softly against his cold skin. Now that you got a full look at Beetlejuice’s face, it made you more worried than ever. First, his hair was a mix of bright red and royal blue. The look on his face showed utter anger. He turned his head to look at you and his eyes seemed to glow way more than usual. 

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked while sitting up. His voice sounded agitated.

“No, not exactly. You’ve just been...” You paused for a moment, trying to word your thoughts correctly. “You’ve been acting...really...” God, it was easier in your head but you couldn’t get the words out. 

“Annoying?” He interrupted your thoughts. Your head snapped up immediately.

“What? No! I mean you’ve been-”

“Bothering you?” He interrupted again. This time you could see the red fading away with streaks of blue taking over all of his locks. Great, exactly what you didn’t want to happen was happening. 

“No!” You used both of your hands to grab his face, making him look directly into your eyes. You were about to say something else before he beat you to it. 

“I’m nothing like your exes?” He huffed out. What? What was he talking about, you thought. His eyes looked away while you still stared. 

“I-where did that come from?” You asked. He still didn’t look at you, his hair now completely blue. You two sat like that for a moment. You didn’t want to push too hard and scare him away, so you waited. 

“It’s just...” He started. You could see he was hesitant. You moved your hands down to his own, squeezing them, showing him that you were willing to listen. “Look, babes. This whole thing we’ve got going on, you being a human and me being a demon. It’s not every day that happens and...it gets me thinking, y’know.” 

“Thinking about what?” You pushed, convincing him to continue. You felt him squeeze your hands, just like you did before. 

“You’re alive. You live an actual life. And you had a life before I came along and sometimes I think I don’t...fit in anywhere.” You were so shocked by his words that you couldn’t speak. With your silence, Beetlejuice added more. 

“I got mad because I started thinking about all the things you might’ve had with your exes. All the things you could relate to with them, and not me. It made me feel…” You could see what he was trying to say without actually wanting to say it. 

Jealous, envious, insecure even. But it didn’t make sense to you. You always knew Beetlejuice had a desire to be alive but you didn’t think it was this bad. Especially when you knew being alive wasn’t really worth the hype. You found everything Beej has told you about the afterlife to be WAY more interesting. But now was not the time for that. You took a second to think before speaking again. 

“Listen, B. You should never compare old relationships to a current one. They ended for a reason. Trying to ‘do better’ and stressing out over it is only gonna drive you crazier than you already are.” You grinned. Although he wasn’t looking at you, Beej matched your grin and chuckled at your comment. You continued. 

“All my exes are assholes that didn’t deserve me. Whatever happened with them is irrelevant. And you being a demon is just as much irrelevant. Being what you are doesn’t make you any less deserving to be here. You’re here because I want you here. I love-” You stopped yourself just in time. Beetlejuice blinked while you fumbled to come with a save for yourself. “-having you here. You know that.” 

You wanted to focus on making Beetlejuice feel better. Not confessing your strong feels that quickly turned to love just within a few months of him being around. You could only assume he didn’t catch your staggering as his face turned gentle while strands of pink appeared within the blue. 

“Really?” He asked, his scratchy voice appearing quiet. As if you would take it back when he questioned it. You smiled fondly, moving your hands back to his face. Although all of him was rough, you held his cheeks as if they were made of glass. 

“Yes.” You answered simply. The look on his face made your heart feel warm. “I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you that I’m not gonna let your bad thoughts mess with what we have. Got it?” 

Any other day, Beetlejuice would’ve knocked down your dominant attitude with his harmless teasing, but he decided to let you have it. Giving you a wide grin, he nodded his head. Now that you’d gotten the response you wanted, you motioned him down so that you two could cuddle. Beej would never admit it, but he loved the intimate gesture. He loved holding you in his arms with the assurance that you would never leave. You two layed there for only five minutes before you noticed Beej’s uncomfortable squirming. You could tell he was trying to convince himself to say something else. 

“H-hey...uh, babes.” You heard him stammer behind you. You turned your head towards him slightly. 

“Yeah, B?” 

“Is, um, is it...y’know?” He stammered again. 

You didn’t want to interrupt him too quickly. So you touched one of the hands resting on your stomach, hoping it would calm him down. “Is it okay, if we...switch?” 

You already knew what he meant without needing any explanation. Despite his over-the-top nature, you always knew Beej had a soft side. There were plenty of times when smalle gestures like hand holding, leaning on his shoulder, or especially cuddling, that would make him lose his rough and tough demeanor. There were plenty of times when you would end up being the big spoon for Beej without realizing. Times when you fell asleep next to him, he would wiggle his way between your arms. When you woke up, he’d looked like he was on cloud nine. So this wasn’t really a surprise. It was surprising because he asked. 

Without giving him a vocal response, you turned all the way around. You gave a small smile before using your hands to turn him around as well. Once his back was towards you, your arms snaked their way around his stomach, mimicking the way he would always hold you. That’s when his hands moved on top of yours. 

“Thanks, doll.” He mumbled, trying to hide the genuine satisfied tone in his voice. 

You only responded with a kiss against his back. You would’ve laid your head down before feeling him shiver in your arms. Kissing his back again, you felt him loosen in your hold and let out a calmed sigh. There were times Beetlejuice made himself too easy to read. You spent almost the whole night pulling him harder into your grasp while also kissing him on his neck and back. There was no telling who enjoyed it more between you two. All you know is that when you woke up in the morning, you were back in your original position. Beetlejuice holding you, with no intentions of ever letting go.

Don’t ask me why this took me so long, but I hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks for reading and don’t forget that BLACK LIVES MATTER✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

#beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice fanfiction #Beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice requests #beetlejuice musical #anon asks

[ritchieblackless]

There's superstition...

After the torture sentence that I aplied to myself by thinking that this post could be a good idea, I fucking have the information about this... this... twisted story. Not all the information though, because if I search for more info about this I will surely need to go to the Cuckoo's nest.

Oh Martina, you're exaggerating. No, I'm not (well yeah, kinda). This was so confusing to understand and organize. Believe I was in the bathroom seconds ago saying "Okay, 1970 Cozy and Jeff going to Detroit. 1971 and 1972 Stevie.."

The most important thing about Superstition's back story and theories about Cozy's playing on it, is the ☆Timelines.☆ Because in the end everything revolves around 1970-71 and 72 to ever consider Cozy in Superstition so let's start.

[Jeff Beck and Cozy Powell going to Motown Studios in Detroit, 1970-71]

They both travelled to the States to do some Motown covers for the upcoming album with only covers but they never released it. They released Rough and Ready inestead but I'll leave the man explains that to you himself:

"My producer, Mickie Most, said, 'We have to make an album.' I talked Mickie into going to Motown, the Hitsville house. It was one of the last sessions there. I was so privileged. We were more like tourists, kids in a candy shop. I took Cozy [Cozy Powell] and I said, 'I gotta go to Motown, and you’re coming as well.' (Cozy: *gets scared and excited*) It wasn't a request. What the hell was I doing taking a rock drummer, with two huge Ludwig bass drums, into Motown? They hated us right away. They didn’t want to know. But we loved it there, and they sensed it after a few hours. The first day, when Cozy sat behind the Motown drum kit and started playing like the Meters, they all went, 'Oh!' (Motown people: Heeey... That's pretty good!) and came flooding back to the studio. It was James Jamerson on bass that day — no rhythm guitar — and Earl Van Dyke on keyboards. That was it, a stripped-down thing. They kept saying, 'Where are the dots?' [sheet music] I said, 'There ain’t no dots.'

When Cozy started playing, it was great. James was locking up with Cozy’s drum pattern. Then I looked around — Cozy was wheeling the drum kit out of the studio. They’re going berserk. He has moved the sacred Motown drum kit out of the studio and wheeled this stupid double kit of Ludwigs in. The studio tech came up to me and said, 'Didn’t you guys come in here for the Motown sound?' Yeah. 'Well, it just went out the door.' [Laughs] "

Jeff Beck, Rolling Stone.

I just love when Jeff refers to Cozy's drum kit as stupid, fancy or whatever in a derogatory way... just because it was sparkling red jsjdjfkgkgl.

We have here, Cozy's side of the events:

"You may as well start off with both feet on the most obscure thing I've ever done. I've got a copy of it, a tape.

It never got the test pressing stage. We went to Motown in Detroit with the idea of Jeff recording an album of all the Motown hits, basically as an instrumental album. He wanted to use a lot of the Motown session players. At that time I'd just joined him, 1969 I think, and his original idea was to find a drummer first. Found me, went down to the audition, got the job, next thing I know (Jeff: You're coming with me. Cozy: ...the fuck?) we're going to Motown to do this album. We did 'Reach out I'll Be There', 'Losing You', things like that. In the end we did about 7 or 8 tracks of which the backing tracks were done.

Jeff plays rhythm guitar, he hadn't actually put the lead on and for some reason he wasn't happy with what he heard or with Micky Most or whatever. It never ever saw the light of day."

Cozy Powell, interview with Joe Gessin

This is all important because this wouldn't be the first time that Jeff and Cozy travelled to the States together.

[JBGroup going to Electric Lady in New York, May 1972]

This is where the party begins and when the timelines confusion comes in.

So, Jeff Beck Group's second album is recorded in January of 1972 at TMI Studios in Memphis. Talking Book was RELEASED in October of 1972 so we don't know how exactly when it was recorded.

But anyway, the thing is that Jeff and his gang released the album in May but before that Stevie and Jeff were kicking the idea of some session works with Jeff for Talking Book so when they released the album in May, they had no obligations left so Jeff took his gang to Electric Lady in New York.

Jeff recorded some guitar tracks and the gang was just observing and occasionally adding ideas. They wanted Stevie to write a song for the next album (which it doesn't exist).

This is where the party begins part 2:

There is this story of Jeff playing the drums for a laugh, noodling around while Stevie was writing over it. It seems like Jeff did something that inspired Stevie but here's the guy again:

"One day I was sitting at the drum kit, which I love to play when nobody's around, doing this beat. Stevie came kinda boogieing into the studio: 'Don't stop.' 'Ah, c'mon, Stevie,' I can't play the drums.' Then the lick came out: 'Superstition.'"

Jeff Beck, Jeff Beck: Crazy Fingers.

I really doubt that is Jeff's playing in the record. What I don't doubt is that maybe Stevie played the drums but since they had Cozy around and Stevie liked Cozy's beat and most importantly he was a drummer (I'm not saying that Stevie is not a drummer, I'm just saying that Cozy is a full drummer while Stevie plays a lot of things). This is where the previous Cozy post about this comes in. They where trying different things so I really believe that at some point of that day Cozy sat down on the drum kit and did a take.

And there's a proof that Cozy was there and worked with Stevie, actually there are two: The only two existents pictures of Stevie Jeff and Cozy were taken in 1972.

"Stevie Wonder is one of these man who walks around singing all day, tapping out rhythms... well, the man IS music. When I worked with him -which was very briefly- he'd come in with this idea in his head and he'd say 'Hey, hey, play this man!' and he'd start tapping something out"

Cozy Powell, Rhythm magazine 1987.

And theres another Cozy quote but is not complete because I found it on pinterest (so sorry) but it's understandable as well.

"He'd tapping out the table. You'd watch and start tapping along with him and he'd get excited and say 'Yeah, yeah, yeah... now try this on the hit-hat, man, try this.. ' After five minutes you'd have come up with something and then perhaps you'd do a little bit more or a little bit less of it, and if he really liked it he'd start dancing around and laughing and waving his arms about. Then he'd leap on to the keyboards and start playing. It was all very energetic, good stuff and really easy to do. You weren't aware it was work."

Cozy Powell, unknown article.

I feel that Stevie's energetic attitude and passion for music hit him deeply, I can see that by the way that the quotes are written. Cozy just loved Stevie.

So yeah, Cozy said that he did some takes for Superstition when Stevie finally wrote it down. In the case that I'm mistaken and it was Stevie who played the drums... it should have been over some Cozy's track because there's no way that Stevie could imitate his Crashing-Cymbal sound or either his drum rolls. Stevie can of course, but not will the same touch, because of the simple reason that one person is different from another.

But I still believe that it IS Cozy's take, i really do and the most important question here is: if Cozy was not who played the drums on Superstition... Why he would lie about it? He had no reason to do it so there must be some truth in his words.

And we need to remember that Superstition was originally planned for Jeff Beck Group so if it was for Jeff Beck Group, they would need Jeff's drummer which was Cozy. So I wouldn't be surprised if Stevie asked Cozy to do some takes.

And when Superstition was finally out, it was by Stevie Wonder using Cozy's take. The reason of why Stevie released it was because Motown said that it was such a great song for giving it away. Also Jeff was busy with Jeff Beck Group's break up for working on the song.

The reason of why Stevie was enlisted as the drummer is not clear, it seems like a Motown move.

So yeah, this is story, well half of it. The shit was so long with a lot of details that I didn't need for this.

I believe that it was Cozy's take, for a lot of reasons. Not because I like him (Well i do like him but the truth is the truth). Maybe it was Stevie with a Cozy guide, we don't know... and we never will.

(Unless we kidnap Jeff Beck and ask him)

#omg Martina get a grip #what the actual fuck? #what is this? the new testament or something?????? #but good unnecessary stuff to know... #I know that It was Cozy... i just know #long post #cozy powell #jeff beck #jeff beck group #stevie wonder #superstition