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ms-scarletwings · 8 months

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So there was a note under my post about Zim hovering a finger over the self destruct switch on his first day on Earth that just cracked open something in my mind.

Cause…Oh. Oh hecc you, @murhuedur. You actually touched on like, my favorite thing about this character, period. I really like this take, I do. It’s a good one. I ponder, still,

In my own opinion, it’s actually genuine confidence and arrogance, but Zim’s delusions of grandeur are as a thin rubber band. They can stretch out to wild lengths and remain malleable enough to bend around truth as he wills,

But there’s a hard limit out there eventually, and should reality require him to stretch his cognitive dissonance just too far, it’s a violent snap-back to full clarity. I don’t think he’s faking it or always lying to everyone else about what hot shit he is, because I think he fully believes those lies about as fast as he can speak them, even if he will later realize he was wrong after a cosmic punch to the face.

Like, Zim’s smart, but smart people aren’t inherently rational ones. Within Zim, the tallest, hell, maybe even Skoodge, there’s sometimes this very short-sighted flippancy about what is objectively true/false that peeks out every now and again in their psychology. I mean, humans sometimes do this too when it’s convenient to their interests, just, obviously not to goofy cartoon character levels if they want to function in society.

Zim has whatever this flaw is and cranked up to 11, maybe as a side effect of his PAK defects. Sometimes it gets him into DEEP shit, but it’s also his biggest mental shield. Zim has like no fortitude against spiraling into a full on depression or a justifiable panic attack over the smallest concession of being an absolute failure to his race. That weaponized denial that makes him so dangerous to himself and others also keeps him together and motivated forward. But it’s not largely a conscious lie he’s telling himself. It’s genuine faith he’s trying to manifest into matter through sheer force of his will.

His dogmatic mantra, “I am Zim” and what it means to him is a statement he holds on such conviction it overpowered and hijacked the ego of 3 control brains at once.

If I were inserting him into DnD he’d have the wisdom stat of a stale poptart and a 20+ thrown into charisma. He’s faking it without even understanding he’s faking it.

But were he completely detached from reality, he’d be WAY more likely than even now to accidentally get himself killed. While a narcissistic level of self esteem is what lets him ignore and selectively unhear inconvenient truths, the adrenaline of immediate life or death danger is what grounds him back in the real world. You notice over time that as self-sabotaging as he normally is, he seems to act his most rational and competent when he’s suddenly put against the grindstone and self preservation HAS to jump into the driver’s seat. He basically survives his day to day on a tightrope between a falsely glorious narrative of himself, and his perceptive anxiety both tugging him to land on either side of the fence when something big happens.

In “The Trial”, he wastes very little time on his expected bullshit or his confidence in being able to just win over the approval of his judges.. by virtue of being his awesome self. He spent most of that ordeal on the verge of a heart attack, squirmed to find an escape, and actually tried to DENY causing the death of two Almighty Tallests (reminder that he usually owns up to his atrocities with downright offensive pride). He understood the full gravity of an existence evaluation and how cooked his goose was. As soon as the situation resolves and he’s no longer in that danger, it’s right back to full trust of his status as an invader, and in Red and Purple as his biggest fans. When his disguise starts to slip in front of Skool kids he knows are dumb as a bag of rocks, he can silver tongue his way around that without skipping a beat. Losing his disguise in front of a bunch of alien-obsessed adults? Uh oh, pants-shitting terror, this is potentially game-over levels of bad, immediately gtfo of here. Stand there, chest beat, and scold the obviously rogue duty-mode Gir all day until the second it actually tries to kill you and you suddenly have to realize you’re not the one holding the cards anymore to save your own life.

The other way this quirk of his really shows through is in his selective memory. Zim has this skill to repress down and push away unpleasant experiences that I think some of us can only dream we had. I love it because it’s equal parts a comedic and analytical goldmine.

Tak, who actually posed a legit threat to his entire mission and tried herself to chip through that massive wall of denial he’s shielded in- same Tak who’s powerful af ship was stolen and desecrated by Zim’s arch nemesis… she’s not just an afterthought in his mind after that mess. He’s literally pushed that one out of his thoughts altogether in the comics. Like she, and Skoodge, who he can’t fucking stand, might as well have never even existed, even while GIR’s trying to remind him. That time he played around with time travel and it was one of the biggest clusterfucks he quickly lost control of? The bologna incident he stooped so low as to ask dib to help him with? You must be thinking of someone else. Nope. Not a thing. Lalala, can’t even hear you. This is also what makes it no wonder he deeply struggles with actually learning from certain mistakes.

From an outsider’s eye this behavior of his is baffling. It makes him look actually insane or at least obnoxiously obstinate. And I think both assumptions are half right, because this is clearly not the result of mere stupidity. Those truths are simply wayyyy too discordant with his view of himself to devote surface memory to, or too uncomfortable, unless and until, of course, you confront him with them in a fashion where that rubber band has to snap, that bubble pops, and he instantly sobers out of that complacency.

youtube

Literally god forbid he ever stops being defective in this way or is given the ability to reckon with the reality of his situation and his history all at once. I’m not even just talking about his job or banishment. I’m talking about his entire life. This chaotic, flexible, incoherent mindstate is the only branch he’s holding onto from dropping into a much more horrifying chasm beneath himself, the depth of which we can only guess. I straight up have no idea what he would do or what could happen to him if he could, even for a moment, rationally comprehend his every action, memory, and empirical truth all at the same time. Seriously, leave that Pak’s Gordian Knot be, or I imagine there could be an HP Lovecraft type of breakdown in the making.

#By the way this is probably one of the most important differences between him and Dib, and what makes Zib so… way he is.

#iz #iz analysis #invader zim #iz clips #iz headcanons #character dissection #dude’s a little messed up #scarlet talks about things #oh hecc #here i go again #long post #by the way this is like the main difference that separates him and dib the most starkly #Youtube

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 9 months

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What are some characters you'll like to see interact more that hasn't done so much in the series?

Oooo ok this is tricky and the second I post this I'll probably think of more!

I listed a few duos I'd like to see explored more a while back! I'm a bit lazy to go back and link to it now but I remember wanting to see more Dazai and Kyouka, Fukuzawa with young Yosano after she'd just been brought to the Agency, Aya and Akutagawa, and my favourite joke duo, Odasaku and Adam. Here's a few others I thought of:

Gin and Ryuunosuke: Please let them interact in canon. Please. They are literally siblings.

Margaret and literally anyone: Please. She has such an interesting set up. Where are we going with her? Can we elaborate on her situation? Her story? I just want her to interact with characters beside Nathaniel. I'd love to see her encounter Akutagawa again actually... could be really interesting.

Wells and literally anyone: Bring her back... I miss her... :'(

Mushitarou and Ango: ...me and the three other mushiango shippers crying for more of them... (but really I just think they're an interesting duo. *slaps both of them* these two can fit so much grief and regret)

Aya and Jouno: I'd like them to meet up again. I just think they could have a neat dynamic, with Jouno having faith in her without needing to know of her capabilities, simply because he knows she (and any civilian) would be underestimated. Also, both with the whole "justice as a choice" thing. Idk. Something there.

Chuuya and Atsushi: PLEASE. I need to see it so bad. Why have they not directly interacted yet? It seems intentional to me.

Naomi and Dazai: We get hints that Dazai actually teaches Naomi tricks and strategy advice. I'd like to actually see it!

Mori and Fukuchi: They were both at Tokoyami Island during the war! They may have actually met before this!!! I hope we elaborate on this soon. ...also I want both Fukuzawa's exes to meet and for there to be drama because it's funny to me. Bonus points if Mori shows up while Fukuzawa is still bleeding out on the ground. Old man yaoi showdown... (I am kidding :P)

Teruko and Natsume: These two authors had a real connection! Teruko was a student of his. I'd love if they pulled that into the series somehow!

Natsume and Agatha: OKAY, so this is based off irl Natsume's real exchange to Britain he went on. He hated it there lol. That's why I'm hoping for interactions between these two… and I hope they cannot stand each other. Maybe something happened between Natsume and the Order of the Clock Tower and they parted on bad terms. They meet again and the two are just all smiles as Agatha pours tea and Natsume rests his hands on his cane and they think of how much they wish they could laser beam the other to death. Idk. I like the concept tbh.

And these are just silly and self-indulgent:

Sigma and Tsujimura: if Sigma turns out to actually be Ian Fleming, I demand they meet and have a Bond-esque secret agent adventure.

Katai, Kunikida, and Higuchi: my dream crack trio that definitely makes no sense but I can't get it out of my head. I can't explain it ok I just think it's funny if Katai, after the Gin debacle, ends up with two overworked blond friends who check in to make sure that he is still alive under his futon. I need to emphasize though that Higuchi is far from her usual polite or professional and is just so done with Katai all the time. Katai still can't manage to make proper eye contact with her or have a full conversation. Nobody understands how they are keeping in touch or why. Also important you know that Kunikida and Higuchi have this weird frenemies dynamic where they are rightfully suspicious of each other for being on opposite sides but then feel like. A sharp pang of sympathy in their chests every time they hear about the crap the other has to deal with. They both shit-talk Dazai and can rant for hours. Katai is left standing there like 😥. It's basically just the "two teenaged boys" post, where Kunikida is the (comparatively) gentle "oh did you just wake up", Higuchi is the "OPEN UP FUCKNUGGET" and Katai is the guy who answers the door past noon still in his blanket. I know it makes no sense. Let me have this.

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to-mah-to27 · 4 months

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I truly don't know if I have to will to make this into a full fic but I can keep continuing the plot

for those of you who did not see it, I'm talking about this post au where Shun is the main character and it is the story of the Jet Black Wing

Ok so season three comes to a head when Aren finally catches Saiki in the act, but Shun isn't there and he confronts Saiki. And Saiki says "You have no idea the complexities of this problem. Just a naive kid playing hero." and Aren tries to fight him but ends up getting hit over the head and his short-term memory erased.

THEN

The beginning of season four is a replay of that confrontation but from Kusuo's point of view. And we're like whaaaat because in all three seasons prior we have never been in Kusuo's point of view before.

In season one it seemed like it would only be from Shun's point of view because he is the main character. But then after the reveal, it makes more sense that we don't see through Saiki's point of view because we aren't meant to root for him after all. And then in season three the point of view regularly shifts between Shun and Aren, further emphasizing that Saiki isn't meant to be there.

So when season four starts in Kusuo's point of view it is a big deal. And it is the same fight but from his point of view and Aren confronts him, telling him the same things he's been listening to Shun say for the past three seasons ever since he got Black Beat in his arm and he had to start following him around to make sure that he couldn't interfere with his plans. "Why are you trying to destroy the world! There are so many innocent people who don't deserve to die! What could you possibly hope to achieve?" And Kusuo responds the same as he did in the finale that Aren doesn't understand and he's just naive and wants to play hero. But even as he says it he is thinking that it isn't true because really it's -Shun_ who he believes this about. And he's been saying in his head over and over and over as he justifies that he still has to do this.

Because the world is a terrible place full of selfish, greedy people who pretend to care on the outside but will take any chance they can to use people and then backstab them. And since humanity has so clearly failed they need to be eradicated and start over from scratch.

And in all the time he has spent with Shun, he has seen all the ways the hero breaks that perception by being kind and giving and genuine in his intentions to help, expecting nothing in return. So he has been telling himself that Shun doesn't count, that he's just some naive kid who doesn't get all the evil in the world, who doesn't understand it or see it and he's only acting the way he is because of a sense of pride at being a hero.

But since Aren joined, he's had a sense of inner turmoil about this that he's been trying desperately to ignore, because Aren has those same kind, honest intentions Shun does.

Aren, who was one of the power-hungry people he employed to help him destroy the world, only for them to realize in the end that they were going to be destroyed too. Aren, who is strong and perceptive and who readily knows about the ill intentions of many of the people they meet. He isn't naive. He isn't even trying to be a hero. He just wants to help Shun, whose forgiveness gave him a new chance at life.

Then he erased Aren seeing him use his powers to sabotage Shun and for the rest of season four every once in a while there will be an episode from Kusuo's perspective, showcasing his inner conflict about these two people disproving what he knows to be the dark truth about the world.

Shun can tell that his good friend and ally Saiki is struggling with something, and he tries to help and to get Saiki to open up about it. But Saiki has never been the talkative type, so he can't quite get it out of him. Not knowing of course, that it has to do with something Saiki would never tell him, that he is the very enemy they have spent so much time fighting. And Shun's words of faith in him from season two echo is Kusuo's mind.

Is there a way to destroy this world without destroying these two honest people? Does he have to make them hate him in order to do it? Will Shun's spirit break when he finds out the truth?

#saiki k #kusuo saiki #shun kaidou #aren kuboyasu #The Jet Black Wing #Dark Reunion

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batty4steddie · 5 months

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Can I Keep It?

Chapter 3: Study Hard

Eddie spent the ride to Steve’s house sandwiched between Dustin and Max in the backseat because, of course, as soon as they got outside, Robin called shotgun.

Max was leaning with her forehead pressed against the window and her eyes closed, and Dustin was working his way through a bag of sour gummy worms because, "Road snacks, guys.”

Eddie accepted one, wrapping it around his finger and tearing off the head with his teeth. He let out a soft breath when the boathouse disappeared from view and let Dustin talk his ear off for the rest of the trip. *

Steve’s house wasn’t too far. It was in a nicer neighborhood but still close to the lake. In fact, his room had a pretty good view of it.

Once they arrived, Steve noticed that his mom's car was gone. At least sneaking Eddie in wouldn’t be an issue. She must have gone to the store.

Usually, after he and his dad went to work, she turned into the couch potato she had been since she’d figured out his dad had been running around on her. She’d been depressed for a while now but kept up appearances in front of his dad and the rest of the town.

She’d finally told Steve about his dad cheating because she had gotten so upset after his dad called to say he wasn’t coming home for dinner. To Steve, that was nothing new—he was always missing dinner for work—but now Steve knew why.

He hadn’t liked his dad much before he knew that. He was always so hard on him. Nothing Steve did was ever good enough. No matter how many basketball games or swim meets he won, that was nothing compared to his dad’s high school football career and the scholarship that had gotten him into college. Those things led him to an amazingly successful career as a salesman… who then cheated on his high school sweetheart. Steve was bitter and hated cheaters.

His house was slightly secluded, with lots of greenery and big trees surrounding it. Since the lake was behind the house, there wouldn’t be any nosy neighbors catching Eddie Munson being willingly led into the Harrington house.

Steve got out of the car and waited for Eddie. “Looks like my mom is at the store or something. You just gotta keep it down when she gets back.”

Harrington’s place seemed more like a museum than a house. It was nestled in the trees, had two stories, and big full-length windows that wrapped around to the back. Eddie had driven past Steve’s a few times before, unknowingly. He was only ever in this area of Hawkins for drug deals. Rich seniors were his best customers. Eddie nudged Dustin to let him out of the car. “I promise not to blast any of Satan’s music while your mom is home,” Eddie vowed, raising his hands in a show of good faith.

He and Steve left the kids, and Robin, who still had a shrewd look in her eyes as she observed them, while they walked up and around the property.

According to Steve, nobody was home, yet most lights were still on inside. It was sorta lonely looking, Eddie thought. It was like somebody had turned all the lights on to pretend it was filled with warmth and people. Eddie couldn’t imagine what their electricity bill was like. Uncle Wayne didn’t even let him keep his amp on for more than a few hours, though that was probably more about the noise and less about the power usage…

Steve led Eddie around the back of the house where his private entrance was. There were two large glass sliding doors. That wasn’t something he’d always had. Not until he’d graduated had he moved into the basement. He wished his dad would’ve made him move down there sooner. It would’ve been much easier to sneak dates in when he was in high school.

His room was clean—pretty cliché for a basement-converted room. He had a couch and a whole entertainment system: TV, VCR and stereo. He had a built-in desk with shelves that housed his trophies and various ribbons he’d collected from sports and swimming over the years.

One of Eddie’s burning internal questions was answered as soon as they entered Steve’s lair: where he was going to sleep. “You can sleep on the couch,” Steve said. “It’s pretty comfortable. I got some extra pillows and blankets in my closet.”

Eddie nodded. It looked comfortable, even though he was sure his thighs would stick to that leather in the middle of the night like gum on a school bus seat on a hot day. The couch was set up in front of a nice TV and a large cabinet with glass doors that held the latest Sony system on the market. No Nintendo, though. Eddie suspected Steve was probably too cool for that sort of thing.

Steve went over to his closet. It was really organized. It had all his past uniforms, his letterman jacket, and his Hawkins High gear that he had collected throughout his four years. He grabbed a blanket and pillow while Eddie eyed the room. He knew he’d have something to say about the study hard poster. Eddie skimmed his palms along the smooth, wood-panelled walls of Steve’s bedroom. He was already feeling more like himself again. “So, this is where the great King Steve lays his head every night,” Eddie said grandly, spreading his arms as he looked around. He was polite enough not to touch anything immediately, though his fingers were already itching to snoop. “I was expecting a big red canopy, if I’m honest. Maybe some golden tassels.”

“Not sure what kind of fantasies you’ve had involving red canopies and gold tassels… but my room isn’t that.” Steve had a regular wooden bed frame with a full mattress and a plaid bedspread. It was nothing fancy, but that really must be what Eddie thought for him to be so descriptive. Steve’s room was almost cute in its typical teenage boyishness. There was nothing really out of the ordinary. It was tidy. There weren’t even any weird smells. Very wholesome.

Eddie noticed a little shrine with all of Steve’s sports achievements, a picture of a red sports car, a bowling pin lamp, and a few posters of half-nude women on the walls. He stopped by one in particular and rocked back on his heels, eyeing Steve’s back as he searched through his closet. “Yup, that’s definitely how I get all straight D’s. Studying hard.”

Steve snickered at Eddie’s joke. He turned around swiftly and caught Eddie’s gaze. He gave him a dirty grin. “That explains why you haven’t graduated and why I didn’t get into college.”

Steve was pretty horny most of the time. He got distracted easily and spent more time chasing tail than he did on his homework. He got lots of D’s. It looked like they had that in common.

No straight man should look at another man wearing that sort of smile. It was unholy. Harrington probably wouldn’t have smiled like that if he knew about Eddie. That was the sort of thing straight jock dudes did, though. A smirk here, an elbow in the side there—shared camaraderie over the chicks they wanted to bang.

Eddie supposed it made sense why Steve was still living in his parents’ basement and working at Family Video if he’d been rejected from college.Eddie followed him into the bathroom without commenting on it, though he wondered how many schools Steve had attempted to get into. How many rejection letters had he received before he gave up?

Maybe Eddie would be doing the same thing once they killed Vecna, cleared him of murder, and he graduated high school. Ha.

Steve took the linens over to the couch, and Eddie stepped backwards hastily when Steve passed him and set them on the cushions. “Let me show you the bathroom.”

Luckily, Steve had his own bathroom, and Eddie wouldn’t have to go upstairs if he had to use it. It was kind of small and had no tub, but it had a spacious shower where he stored his various hair products.

“I think there’s an extra toothbrush,” Steve said as he opened one of the vanity drawers. He dug around a bit and found it, then set it on the counter. “Was kind of saving it, you know, in case a date forgot hers, but that hasn’t happened in a while. You can have it.”

He hadn’t found anyone worth bringing back to his place. His car, though… that was different.

Eddie looked at the toothbrush. It was still in its packaging, purple and turquoise, with a small head of bristles. How long was a while? This toothbrush had probably only been here for a few weeks, max.

“Um, thanks,” Eddie said, feeling a slight flare of irritation in his gut that he didn’t fully understand, a tick forming between his brows as his brain supplied him with a visual of some perky cheerleader type brushing her teeth in there. “Not really my color, though. More of a pink girl myself.”

Some things took Steve a few seconds to process. He let out a delayed chuckle after Eddie’s joke. In his few interactions with Eddie, he could see just how silly he was.

He meant a lot to Dustin, too… While he’d still insist he wasn’t jealous, that Dustin was the catalyst, he was right a lot. Steve could see Eddie’s innocence. He was starting to warm up and understand Eddie’s appeal.

There was sweetness in his eyes that Steve couldn’t deny when looking into them. There was a rawness to him, too. When he spoke about Chrissy, there was terror in his voice and a horrified expression on his face. Eddie had knocked down walls Steve hadn’t known he had up.

He was just being nice, right? Because he wasn’t the bully that he used to be. He had come a long way since then. He was a nice guy.

“You can borrow some of my clothes. We’ll wash yours.” They looked a little grimy. “Probably hasn’t been too comfortable sleeping in your jacket.”

With it being early March in Indiana, it was practically still winter there. That was another reason Steve felt better about Eddie not being in the boathouse anymore. He didn’t have to sleep in uncomfortable leather and a jean vest, as badass as it looked. He’d never tell Eddie he thought that, though. Steve envied Eddie’s shiny and tough style over his dull, preppy one.

Eddie guessed he probably reeked. He hadn’t done a pit check but had been wearing the same outfit for a long time. Being scared shitless probably hadn’t helped his aroma. He’d attempted to wash his underwear in the lake, but that had gone as well as expected.

Steve brushed past Eddie just to get out of the small space, and Eddie stepped backwards again like a startled fawn, back hitting the door. The soft material of Steve’s shirt still brushed against the roughness of his jean jacket, the warmth of his body heat palpable. Steve smelled like coconuts on a goddamn tropical island again.

For not showering in a couple of days, Eddie didn’t smell bad, Steve thought. “That’s it for the tour. You think you’ll be alright? I shouldn’t be gone too long. I’ll be back before Mom finishes dinner. I can bring you something to eat after I eat with her,” he promised.

He knew Eddie had been hungry this morning, so he would probably like a home-cooked meal.

“I’ll be fine, man,” Eddie replied, feeling skittish over all the catering Steve was doing to make sure he was comfortable. Hell, even offering him his mom’s cooking. Eddie went and sat down on the leather couch, stretching his arms along the back and spreading his legs to show just how okay he’d be. His knee jiggling up and down was his only tell. “Appreciate you letting me crash. You know, putting your ass on the line. Harboring a fugitive and all.” There was a question in Eddie’s eyes as he observed Steve. Why are you doing this? Was it really possible that Harrington was just… a decent guy? Hmm.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Steve reiterated because it sounded like Eddie needed reassurance. There was no doubt in Steve’s mind that he was doing the right thing. Getting thanked was unnecessary.

Steve didn’t see him as a monster or guilty of a crime. He was a friend of a friend and deserved a fighting chance against something that had reared its ugly head again and nearly destroyed Hawkins. Anything Steve could do to help, he would do for his friends.

He saw how badly Eddie’s knee was jiggling, so Steve reached down and forced it to stop. Eddie didn’t have to be nervous anymore.

Eddie stilled. The heat from Steve’s hand was still radiating through his knee, making it buzz and tingle in the aftermath. Eddie looked down because that was unexpected, and so was the fluttering in his stomach like he’d just eaten a butterfly. He didn’t feel anxious, though.

Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze. “We got this,” he said, letting go and meeting Eddie’s eyes as he straightened back up.

Eddie swallowed. Steve sounded so confident in Eddie’s innocence and their ability to beat the monster. It was actually… comforting.

Steve walked over to the sliding glass doors and started to let himself out. “Be back soon,” he promised.

Once outside, he flashed Eddie a small smile through the window.

Steve's smile was like a blanket settling around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie could only nod back at him. He wasn’t sure what his face did—if he smiled back at Steve or just looked dumbstruck.

Steve headed to the car, and Eddie sunk into the couch more and curved his shoulders, blowing a breath. “What was that?” he asked himself, bewildered. He looked down at his fluttering stomach in suspicion. "Why are you acting like that?"

Had that Yoo-hoo been expired? Was he sick?

Shaking it off and feeling oodles calmer, Eddie stood up again. The urge to snoop was strong again, but his feelings over invading Steve’s privacy had changed somehow in the last few minutes. It wasn’t right. Eddie would only do surface -level snooping.

But first, a little freshening up. * Eddie closed the bathroom door and locked it, just in case Mrs. Harrington came home while he was in there and decided to do something wildly inappropriate, like walk in while her son was in the shower. Eddie didn’t know the Harrington family. Maybe they were weird like that.

After fucking around a bit with the unfamiliar plumbing, he managed to turn the shower on and adjusted the water until it was screaming hot. Steve’s hot water actually worked, unlike theirs. Nice.

Eddie stripped off his clothes. His shirt stuck to his skin as he pulled it off. He left his pile of stinkies beside the laundry basket instead of in it, unsure if Harrington would appreciate him mixing them in with his own clothes.

The hot shower felt glorious . Eddie groaned, tilting his head back and gargling some fresh water. He spit it out in an arc like a fountain just because he could. His hair flattened to his head, all dirt and crustiness washing out down the drain.

Eddie picked up one of the bottles on the shelf and gave it a look. “Fabergé Organics Wheat Germ Oil and Honey,” he read out loud, eyebrow quirking in amusement. “Is this his secret?”

He popped the cap and gave it a sniff. It was pleasant and mild, but not the coconut he’d smelled earlier.

Eddie didn’t normally use conditioner—he used a two-in-one that worked as shampoo and body wash—and quite frankly, he didn’t understand its purpose, but he decided to use Steve’s. Eddie’s hair was matted worse than a junkyard dog’s, and Steve wasn’t called “The Hair” for nothing. He knew a thing or two.

When he was all cleaned up, and his hair was feeling frighteningly silky, Eddie turned off the shower. He stepped out, drying his feet on the mat and wrapping the towel from the hook around his waist. He unlocked the door, opened it a crack, and listened for any activity. When he heard nothing, he emerged.

Steve had said he could borrow some clothes, so Eddie went to his dresser and pulled open the drawers. He rifled through a bunch of overly starchy collared shirts and colored striped shirts before he found a black Ghostbusters one that looked threadbare and comfortable. It said I’VE BEEN SLIMED in green, goopy lettering underneath the No-Ghost logo. Eddie cackled in amusement and pulled it on with a pair of cotton, plaid pajama bottoms.

He didn’t poke through Steve’s boxer drawer because he was a gentleman and not creepy. Going commando was more comfortable, anyway.

He did have a poke around in Steve’s closet. His brain stalled when he saw the old green and white letterman jacket. Eddie traced the fabric H on the front, and before his brain fully caught up with what he was doing, he took it off the hanger and slid it on.

Steve had a mirror above his dresser, so Eddie caught his reflection. He did a slow three-sixty, and his heart fucking pitter-pattered. He laughed at himself. He was so painfully pathetic sometimes “Get a grip, man. Jesus Christ.”

When he was younger and much more of a boy-crazy idiot than he was today, in the most private chamber of his mind, he’d imagined what it would be like to stroll down the hallways at school on the arm of a jock.

He’d imagined how it would feel to be popular and coveted, to wear a letterman jacket that was a bit too big for him (because muscles, unfortunately, were something Eddie had never acquired, jamming on his guitar and roleplaying in his friends’ basements).

He’d wondered how it would feel to receive a rose, like all the cheerleaders did, on Valentine’s Day when Cupid came around to each class. One particularly drunken evening, he’d even dreamt he was a cheerleader cheering on his baller boyfriend at a game, right next to Chrissy Cunningham herself.

The fact that he’d fantasized about any of that and liked it infuriated him. He hated jocks, and they hated him.

Luckily, those fantasies faded after a year of being bullied by said jocks. Or so he thought. One ex-jock was turning out to be nicer than any of the ones he’d had the displeasure of associating with.

Eddie touched the H again, looking down at it. He shrugged the jacket off and put it back on one of the empty hangers, shutting the closet door. He couldn’t remember if that was the same hanger he’d taken it from. Still, it wasn’t likely Steve would notice such a small detail unless he kept a meticulous closet inventory or something.

Eddie went to the stereo and started flipping through Steve’s cassette collection to pass the time. As expected, most of it wasn’t real music, but…

“Oh,” Eddie said, delighted. Madonna. “Do you like The Queen of Pop, or do you just use this to woo the chickadees?” Either way, it made him grin.

Eddie almost put Madonna in, but Billy Idol was already in the deck when he popped it open, so he closed it and pressed play. Eyes Without A Faceblasted through the speakers. Eddie flailed and turned the dial down so it played on volume three instead of nineteen. It was in the middle of the song, one of the sadder ones on the album.

“Hm,” said Eddie curiously.

The shower had helped loosen his tense muscles, but to fully relax, he always needed a little help from his friend.

Eddie drummed his fingers on the top of the stereo. “If I was a well-mannered rich boy, where would I hide Mary Jane?”

Eddie checked Steve’s desk first, flipping through his stacks of books. He didn’t find any hollow ones.

Next, he searched Steve’s VHS cabinet. He had a small collection. Eddie guessed Steve had watched enough movies at Family Video that he didn’t need too many at home. He had a copy of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which looked particularly abused, its case worn out. But no weed.

Damn it. It was probably in his car somewhere, if he had any.

Eddie checked a few other potential hiding places but froze when he heard a car pulling up in the driveway. He heard a door slam and then another—the floor creaking. A female voice called out, muffled by the distance.

“Stevie?”

Silence.

Eddie turned the stereo down one more notch and, not knowing what else to do, went to sit on Steve’s bed, hands clasped on his knees. He didn’t know if he should hide, but if Steve’s mom came down, he could always say that Steve was on his way home and Eddie was… a friend of his? Sleeping over?

Hopefully, the police hadn’t released his name and picture yet, or Mrs. Harrington didn’t pay attention to the news. Fuck, he needed to watch the news tonight.

Eddie waited a few minutes, biting his thumbnail, but Mrs. Harrington didn’t come to the basement. Eddie heard what could have been pots and pans clanging from the far side of the house, so it sounded like she was making dinner.

Travelling back to the couch to lie down suddenly seemed exhausting as fuck. He’d go in a minute.

Releasing a sigh, Eddie fell backwards. His head hit the pillow, damp curls fanning out around it. There were too many thoughts in his head again and more threatening to come up, so he tried to focus on his other senses. He smelled cooking meat in the air and traces of coconut from Steve’s pillow.

Steve’s bed had the Goldilocks of mattresses. Not too hard, not too soft. Eddie released another sigh, his eyes and his body growing heavy.

“Fuck me, I’m tired…”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie fic #steddiebang23 #stranger things #stranger things fanfic

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mushrubes · 1 year

Text

Yourself

Masterlist | The last of us masterlist

Requested : No

Prompt 32 “Everything okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”

Pairing : Joel Miller x reader (No use of Y/n)

Pronouns used : You/yours

Type : angst + fluff

Contents : vulnerable Joel, Ellie being a teenager, wholesome, established relationship, age gap

Word count : 773

Have a great day / night!!

——–

“You alright, kiddo?” Joel asked, turning to face Ellie as Tommy helped guide the man outside. “What is wrong with you?” she asked, leaving him in confusion. “He had no right-” Joel started, Ellie cutting him off once again. “And you do?” she chuckled sarcastically, shaking her head in disbelief at her father figure. “I don’t need your fucking help, Joel.” she finished, giving him one last glare. He looked at her, confused by where this was all coming from and hurt by her words before looking at Dina and back at her. “Right,” he spoke, the sadness and embarrassment clear on his face before he turned away, heading back home and not looking behind him.

—-

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you heard the door open, not expecting Ellie to be back as she had told you she was hanging out with Dina and also not expecting Joel who was with Tommy. He carefully took his boots off, shoving them to the side as he made his way to the bedroom, not saying a word to you. His actions already made your suspicions rise, as it was not normal for him to come in without even saying at least one word to you before he went to freshen up.

Once you had heard the stream of the shower start, you turned the machine on, making a coffee for him and a drink for yourself too, placing them on the table as you waited for him to come back. about ten minutes later, Joel came walking back in, sitting next to you but there was some distance in between as if he was too scared to get close. “Everything okay? You don’t seem like yourself.” you asked softly, eyes laced with concern as you saw the mix of emotions practically steaming off him.

“I’m fine.” he responded bluntly, knowing you wouldn’t drop the subject. You had been with him for years now and dating him for a few months - you could read him like an open book. “Joel…” you sighed, grabbing his hand and brushing your thumb up and down his rough hands. You could’ve sworn you heard your heart break as you saw his eyes well up, tears threatening to spill at any moment. No more words were exchanged for the time being, instead a simple embrace. The second your arms wrapped around him, he had pulled you into his lap and was hiding his head.

“Ellie…” he spoke up, sniffing in between his words as you brushed his tears away and planted kisses on his forehead and cheeks. “She was…with Dina in the bar and,” he paused, taking a deep breath to try and stop himself from getting wound up all over again. “He called them the word. I tried to step in to help but she had a go at me after.” he explained, knowing he didn’t have to say much more for you to catch on about how he was feeling.

Although he doesn’t seem the type, when it came to you and Ellie, he found himself doubting his abilities easily. Whether he was protecting you two, keeping you safe, doing the best - no matter what he did, his mind was telling him he was doing something wrong. “Hey, look at me.” you called, seeing him ingrained in his thoughts. He looked to the side, allowing you to gently pull his head up as he met your eyes. “She most likely didn’t mean it harshly, Joel, she’s just not a kid anymore.” you reminded, trying to comfort him as well as back her up, knowing how she had been feeling lately.

“I know, I just…every time I look at her, I see my Ellie bean and I can’t lose her - she’s my second chance.” he finished, looking up at you with a sad look in his eyes. “You won’t lose her. She can handle herself and even if she can’t, she knows you’ll be there for her.” you assured, having full trust and faith in Joel. If there was one thing that anyone could be sure of, it was that this man would do anything and everything for you and Ellie - no matter what it included. You’d do the same, ready to do anything for him and Ellie.

He leaned forward, looking down at your lips for permission and you nodded, your lips fitting together like missing puzzle pieces. You spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms, enjoying the peace. “I love you, Joel.” you whispered, forehead pressed against his as he smiled at you.

“I love you too, darlin’”

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unlikelysaintdelele · 5 months

Text

I love remembering I have OCs for video games. The full game isn’t out yet, but the demo has me foaming at the mouth for more. So here are the girls and some brief descriptions~

They’ll develop more when the full game comes out.

The Unnamed: Samara

Romance: Ais, Kuras

She’s usually very patient and kind, but after finding out her blessing was actually a curse, her faith has been rattled. She’s snappy if pushed and a lil on edge. She felt very drawn to Kuras (something about him felt familiar) and Ais (the hive mind thing reminded her of the lies the temple told her about her curse, but it felt very different), distrustful of Leander (too charming), and doesn’t care too much about Vere (strong sense of danger). She finds Mhin amusing at best, rude at worst, and is only slightly taller than them. She likes baking, gardening, art, and languages (she liked being able to talk to everyone who visited the temple). She dislikes… bitter food and drinks ig.

She has rather average coloring and height, but she is by no means an average beauty. brown hair with deep waves and big brown eyes. I can’t out of my head that she has these soft pouty princess peach lips. I feel like kids would see her at the temple and think she’s a princess from a fairytale.

The Alchemist: Adrienne

Romance: Leander, Mhin

Tall, lithe, and long ass hair. Around four inches taller than Mhin, lol. She’s a bit reserved and may or may not trust a lil too easily. It’s a bit questionable because, despite being wary at first, Leander very easily won her over, there’s no way she’d get anywhere near Vere or Ais if she can help it. Mostly Vere. Being able to read Leander’s magic definitely helped. As for Mhin, their shared goal is what draws her to them, and she finds Mhin pretty. She really likes pretty clothing (and jewelry and shoes and faces) and history books. She dislikes ill-fitting or mismatched clothing, getting dirty, and not knowing.

Midnight black hair, it’s thick and well cared for. Since she’s a spellcaster, I wanted her to look magical as well, so I gave her violet eyes. I also imagine her tanned, around Vere and Elyon’s shade.

The Hound: Tori

Romance: Vere

Ngl, I liked Vere upon meeting him, but then I died when I followed him out the tavern so I noped out of that rq. I felt he deserved love nonetheless but the two other girls already have personalities that would avoid him at all costs. So Vere gets a big tiddie bimbo who is lowkey a muscle mommy. I say lowkey because she was kind of a runt when she was younger, always smaller than other kids her age, and she never quite grew out of that. She worked hard to earn her strength and takes pride in her scars. Anyways, Leander and Kuras’ charity doesn’t sit well with her and she just finds Mhin annoying. Ais is just funny to her and she’s a horndog for Vere. Suffocating between his thighs would be a good death. She likes fighting, money, and a certain red-haired demon.

She’s got a strawberry blonde hair situation that she keeps a little below chin length. Her eyes are green-blue, they look greener under direct lighting but are often mistaken for dark blue since she’s usually wearing a hood or in shadow. I like to imagine her with a bunch of freckles.

Side note: in my mind, Adrienne and Tori aren’t nearly as rattled by what happened in their backstories since they were raised to question and never fully trust what they first see. Adrienne because of her thorough education and Tori because she was literally raised by criminals. Samara was taught to trust, to not question, so her world was really turned upside down in her backstory. Tori is hurt but isn’t too surprised, more annoyed. Adrienne is… confused but powering through. She really looked up to her teacher, and would probably feel very broken up about it if she let herself, but she is too disciplined and determined to let herself get distracted by betrayal. Especially when she’s so close to a cure. Samara is just going a lil crazy but it’s good for her.

#touchstarved #vere touchstarved #mhin touchstarved #ais touchstarved #kuras touchstarved #leander touchstarved #this game won’t come out for a while #but it will be fun to look back at the first drafts of the girls #the unnamed #the alchemist #the hound

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dramarants · 1 year

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trying to come to terms with the bewildering final 10 minutes of tteotm:

first and foremost, undeniably, the technical and narrative execution this ep was choppy, weirdly paced, ambiguous (not in a cool OE way, just literally hard to follow - how are we in the tomb, why is she back in devil bride attire, where did the scale in the last shots come from, why did qingyu's fucking hair need to turn blond, pang yizhi what did you finally understand cuz I sure as hell don't??) and left a lot of loose threads. with all the build up to his sacrifice, you want some sort of twist or surprise but nothing comes. the ending is so abrupt and this is always and forever gonna leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

the last eps especially emphasized legacy and, with li susu returning as a goddess, I must assume the immortal realm learned the truth about ttj's sacrifices and believed it. ttj gets his roses.

I'm gonna pretend ttj explained the zhaoyou situation to her too

in fact if we're in imaginary land jiwu grew the fuck up and, upon realizing the depth of ttj's friendship in spite of everything, becomes riddled in guilt for a while and fiercely protects ttj's memory

a child!! literally how to carry a legacy and memories into future generations

ttj's destiny was to suffer and resent the world + give up his body and soul to carry out the devil god's will

instead, he embraced the light, learned to cherish the world, bore other's resentment in his final trial (strength that I sure as hell don't have! even saving jiwu from himself!) he remained in control of himself, choosing to sacrifice his body to stop the devil god's plans

the love was there and for once, to break a cycle of pain and sin, overcome the consequences in the mortal world, for ttj and lss, it was fucking enough!

by destroying the evil bone in his final moments he prevents the devil god from ever returning, truly the world's savior

his death was mostly on his own terms, with purpose he didn't have before

saving a part of his divine essence in the scale to continue to protect susu was a full circle moment

in fact ttj embodies mingye in a ridiculous number of ways by the end, from his actions to his values down to his clothes, yet another way to stick it to the devil god fate

he looks at peace in his last shot during the battle and in the scale

they had to cut scenes and therefore couldn't elaborate on the post all-in-distress world

or dedicate the 30s it takes to show him regrow from the scale or something lbfad style 🤧

it seems like he could hear susu when she was speaking to the kid? so he can follow his wife and daughter's lives knowing he's loved and respected until his return that I am headcanoning??

by being in the scale, he keeps his promise to stay by her side forever and accompany her in moving forward through parenthood and the ordinary life he dreamed of

in fact ttj never has to defend himself or put up with bs again, his fight is over and he gets to watch a harmonious world that he and susu made possible

susu my girl, having faith in him and understanding everything immediately and wishing to meet him again

bearing the cross of the only living god and continuing, again, their legacy, protecting their love and the world

she was ready to die with him!! like!! fuck till death do us part I'll share your burden let's embrace and face the end together!! a sparkle bathed version of ttj trying to die with her in ep 29!!

nothing can come between them anymore they fricking ensured that

plus them in the heavenly realm, the only two gods existing, removed from the world and basking in that moment where the devil god no longer exists and it isn't a dream 😭

the tomb scene was so heartbreaking in the good way

these characters have been on such an incredible, unhinged journey and looking back, there's so much more to unpack and appreciate

ugh it's not a bad ending cuz it's sad, I mean how many of us predicted he'd die for the greater good a long time back, it's just the way it ultimately played out was... somehow disappointing

but you know what I enjoyed the path here so much and can imagine their path ahead enough to forgive it and continue loving tantai jin and li susu and tteotm overall anyway

#I wasn't gonna post this and just brain dump maybe share any nuggets ppl might feel but fuck it all I'm ready to flip tables #it's all one post and we all have feelings who fucking cares #I'll be camping in the tteotm tag for closure for many weeks to come #till the end of the moon #spoilers #ranting

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lumeha · 2 years

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☕️ Talk to me about Rhea.

I consumed lore through googling for days.

Rhea my Beloved

Some things I absolutely adore about Rhea

-Due to Sitri only being the 12th vessel, and the very long lifespan of Nabateans, it is quite probably that, every time Rhea created a vessel to house the Crest of Flames, she let them live their full lives. And with how she treated Sitri, it is also quite probable that she took care of all of them, and loved all of them. As complicated as the idea of creating bodies to house a specific consciousness is, we know Rhea didn't regret giving life to Sitri

-Three of the members of the Church faction have been personally saved by Rhea (Shamir, Catherine and Cyril), Jeralt has also been personally saved from death by Rhea, and Garreg Mach has served as a refuge for others (Hanneman - to work on his Crest research ; Alois, who was welcomed in the monastery when orphaned ; Gilbert, fleeing his guilt). It's also implied she was the voice that inspired Manuela to sing, if I remember correctly. So. Basically. Rhea has inspired and saved and welcomed a lot of people, directly or through Garreg Mach, and it is absolutely impressive when I think about it

-Her crest, the Crest of Seiros, represents the High Priestess. And while, yes, she absolutely hides many truths, some she has hidden herself for fear of what would happen to her kin, and also because she thought it was the best to favour peace, which, chef kiss, I love that, this is the morally grey shit people should love because it is absolutely an intensely fucked situation that she ended up in and her actions are both complicated and understandable and yet snowballing into something more a millenia later, it also does put her as being the one who holds Fodlan's truths and secrets, a spiritual guardian, and, while her actions are not always moral, in most routes of the game, she reveals one of her biggest secret to protect the people of Garreg Mach and, later in Snow and Wind, the people of Fodlan. Her concerns are, first, in most situation, to protect people.

-I am actually amazed that Rhea has not lost any faith in humanity like Macuil did. Contrary to Seteth, Indech and Flayn, she has been involved with humanity for a millenia, and yet she's ready to do her utmost to protect people. She keeps saving people, individually or as a group. She has seen wars, she has seen the corpses of her family used as weapons, their powers twisted into horror, during the timeline of the game itself she has faced two assassination attempts, her niece has been kidnapped specifically because she is a Nabatean, and, yet, she.. continues. Which is why I genuinely think that, if Rhea had known about the Agarthans experimentations done on the Ordelia children, as well as the Hresvelgr children, she would have just ripped into the people involved and saved those kids.

-So, like. Rhea. She has done some weird shit. Taken some heavy decisions that are morally complicated, between the weight of what was in the balance, the long term impact, the fact that she has to deal with Agarthan trying to push and put their far more advanced technology back into the hands of people, the short term impact, and her desire to bring back Sothis not only because she is her mother, but also the Goddess, who she thinks is the one who can bring Fodlan back into the peace it was in before the war with the Agarthans and her sleep and then death, and I just... (shakes fist) ... I love her. So much. She's the morally gray complicated character people wanted. I love her so much.

And yes, I'll keep saying she did nothing wrong until people stop saying that she is the actual villain and antagonist, because I can absolutely understand that the religious aspect of her character can be uncomfortable for some people..... it still doesn't make her into a villain, and the game does spend time to actually say that, as suspicious as the narration first tries to make her, she isn't a villain. She is a complicated woman with a boatload of trauma, who has been working for peace for centuries, and who doesn't feel like the role she has can truly fit on her shoulders. She is closed off and awkward and she doesn't quite know how to fully let go of her masks but she also loves and cares for people, even when she doesn't quite know how to show it, and she worries over the students, and to me, she deserves to rest and to have peace

Also the fact that she is, like, really good at punching people is kind of hilarious, ngl

#Fire Emblem #Rhea #Rhea (Fire Emblem)#crying in the kitchen thinking about her #Rhea would shame Victor Frankenstein for not loving the Creature

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h0n3y-reads · 2 months

Text

The Edge of Sleep by Jake Emanuel: a review.

The Edge of Sleep is a book based off the podcast of the same name, originally made in 2019. I have listened to the podcast in full but it was a while ago. The book is pretty faithful to its source material, with a few new things, and some updates for pop culture. Overall, I think I can say I liked this book. However, the journey we took to get there was chaotic. Fair enough, considering it's a book about the end of the world. Spoilers ahead.

We start off with a dreamlike sequence featuring our main man Dave. Considering the ending, this scene has some major foreshadowing that I like. Afterwards, we meet Dave's best friend and coworker Matteo, piping in with consistently incorrect pop culture references. After a little more exposition we meet the rest of our main group, nurse Linda and Dave's ex girlfriend Katie.

There's quite a few differences in character development already from the podcast, but I don't want this whole review to just be comparisons, so I'll try to keep them minimal and only when relevant.

Dave and Matteo skip out on work to head to what's left of an Independence Day party, only to find several corpses laying around the mansion, with no idea how they passed. They make their way to the hospital and find Linda dealing with the same situation. Dave gets more and more anxious about Katie's refusal to pick up his phone calls.

The group eventually meets up in person, and they try to figure out a way to keep themselves awake, look for any other survivors, and figure out why people are dying in their sleep.

We also get a couple of new characters, the most important being Millie and Eli. Millie is a self described agoraphobic insomniac with an exhausting remote job, and Eli is a young disabled blogger also struggling with insomnia. We switch between these two groups every so often.

Now, do I like these characters? Sure. I'd say Linda is my favorite, for her straightforwardness and problem solving nature. I'll admit I liked Matteo in the podcast more, as I feel he was a better friend to Dave and a more enjoyable character. One thing I do appreciate is Emanuel's attempt to flesh out Katie more. I did feel like she was lacking character and motivation in the podcast outside of being Dave's ex. Although, the way they've chosen to go about it in the book isn't my favorite, because while they have added new things, they've also taken scenes that happened between Dave and Linda in the podcast, and swapped Linda for Katie. I feel like they could've just added a couple more scenes with Katie and Dave organically.

In terms of Millie and Eli's characterization, I can tell what they were going for. Millie is the tired, exasperated older character with a surprisingly familial nature. Eli is the young and inexperienced kid who wants to be an adult. However, I feel like the characterization later in the book doesn't match up with the characters we are introduced to, and it's laid on a bit too thick. For example, as far as I can tell, Eli is a teenager, maybe an emancipated minor with his own apartment. He's an orphan, so no parents to take care of him but he seems to manage on his own. But when he meets up with Millie the whole "young and inexperienced" thing is played up so much that he feels like a child. On the flipside, Millie seems like your average tired millennial, but when she's with Eli she's suddenly twenty years older and 'motherly'. In one passage, Eli describes her as "a regular grown-up, with creases in her face that he hasn't yet developed, and skin that's damaged from too much sun. She's probably been married twice already". If I read things correctly, Millie is 29?? I get that they're going for the whole "found family" thing but these characters don't know each other well enough yet, and neither does the audience.

There's quite a few conflicts between our main group, particularly with one or more characters going up against Linda. In particular, we meet Ruth Nelson, an old lady who's miraculously still awake and calling for help deeper inside the hospital. Turns out Katie knows Ruth, as she and Ruth's daughter went through rehab together. Ruth is a cancer patient nearing the end of her life, and once she learns about the mysterious phenomenon taking the lives of everyone who falls asleep, she decides she doesn't want to live anymore. This brings up an immediate moral dilemma between Katie and Linda, but also within Linda herself. Supposedly it was Ruth's idea to go to sleep and be hooked up to an MRI machine while she dies, to give our survivors any information they can get, but this feels like a huge conflict that could've been fleshed out more. On the outside, Linda seems calm and collected, and intent on giving Ruth a choice with all the information she needs, but internally she feels like she's taken advantage of her. Katie is obviously distraught, and insists that Linda 'poisoned' Ruth's mind.

Afterwards Dave decides to make the second sacrifice of the evening by volunteering to fall asleep and be woken up just before he dies. We get some valuable information, in which we learn that the Dream Warriors are contacting people through their dreams and telling them to come to the island of Aristera where they reside.

The book skips around within each chapter to explore the perspectives of different characters. I think this sort of format works well for the podcast, but the book feels a bit disjointed. One thing I noticed was that scenes will ramp up in action, leading to the climax of the section, and then immediately switch to another perspective. It might work once or twice, but this happens multiple times throughout the novel and I feel like for a quite a few of these scenes, it's not ideal.

Several of the chapters are what I would call buffer chapters, in which we meet a series of characters right before they fall asleep and die. I guess these chapters are meant to connect the audience with the rest of the population and emphasize the scale of loss by creating connections with these people. At times, I felt like they distracted us from the main plot.

Dave and Katie are definitely the most important characters in the book, rekindling their relationship throughout this whole crisis and finding comfort in each other. Dave finally opens up about his traumatic childhood and intense nightmares, something he wasn't able to do in their relationship previously, and the two are committed to each other in a way they weren't before.

Dave's nightmares are a major plot point for the whole book, as he's been dreaming of the Elephant his whole life. Surprisingly, he's also met the Dream Warriors in his sleep as well, establishing a connection early on with the Whale.

While the other group tries to survive, Millie and Eli take a roadtrip, first to stock up on medication, picking up a wayward hitchhiker on the way, and then set for Cynagen, a pharmaceutical corporation that the hitchhiker believes is responsible for all this. The mini group goes through several crises, including the hitchhiker Chewdot falling asleep in the backseat, and a car crash as a result of Millie's narcolepsy. Their fate is left unknown by the end of the book.

The most important scene in the book is the flight leading up to the landing at Aristera. Things are getting harder as the main group is going on three days without sleep, but they're all trying their hardest. Katie doesn't make it out of the flight, falling asleep soon after they take off, but Matteo does, as opposed to his untimely demise in the podcast. Aristera itself is much more developed, with a colony of survivors from all over the world having made it here. But before our main cast can get to the colony, they are pulled into a living nightmare with the Elephant. Despite the horrors mean to manipulate him, Dave remembers the Whale and uses that knowledge against the Elephant. Just as the scene reaches its climax, with Dave seemingly injuring the Beast, we switch again to a new section of the chapter where the fight has already ended. Again, this format really doesn't work here.

When the group does finally make it to the colony, they are greeted with food and beds, and the insistence that they can sleep safely here. Dave eventually goes on to meet the Dream Warriors and the Whale itself, but the explanation here is hard to understand. The Dream Warriors have been with Dave his whole life, but I still don't really understand how.

The book ends with all of our previously dead characters from the buffer chapters becoming undead, and slowly making their way to Aristera.

Overall, the book was a wild ride. There were a lot of things I liked about it, though I can't say I enjoyed it more than the podcast. I am curious to see if there'll be another book anytime soon, seeing as the epilogue set up for one.

#honey reviews #book review #bookblr #the edge of sleep #teos #the edge of sleep book #teos book #the edge of sleep spoilers #teos spoilers #long post

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safety-pin-punk · 2 years

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im curious, how does being punk affect your feeling of religion? are you still a practicing catholic/go to church?

Hahahahahaha oh boy, buckle in cause this is gonna be a fun ride. I’ll put a cut cause this is gonna be long simply due to the amount of context that is needed to understand how I’ve managed to mash these two things together in my life. I hope this answers your question anon! (And thank you for asking nicely, that usually isn’t the reaction I get).

So, for reference, I am Catholic born and raised. My mom is Catholic, my dad is only recently exploring being religious. My brother has remained a Catholic good boy throughout his life, my sister has denounced religion. I’m somewhere between them. I don’t go to church often, but I still feel at home there when I do (most of the time). So technically, I’m not a ‘Practicing Catholic’ because of that, but I’m following my faith to the best of my ability (explained below).

I 100% believe there is a god, and because of that my faith has had some rough intersections with other parts of my life, such as being punk, the communities Im a part of, and being heavily involved in STEM. And those are things that took me years to figure out for myself. When just looking at being punk though, I think where it really clicked that punk wasn’t against my religion, but actually supports it, was in my freshman year of college. Like I’ve said before, I go to a Protestant school so every class has to somehow have at least one connection to religion (as a chemistry major this can get extremely annoying). But that year, I had a history class as a gen ed, Western Civ to 1450, and an absolutely kick ass professor to go with it.

This class was the game changer for 18 year old me (oh my god that was 5 years ago). We spent a lot of time in this class talking about religions of ancient civilizations, and of course we talked about Christianity. And this man went absolutely feral. He was the man that introduced me to the concept of ‘Jesus was a punk’. And when you ignore all the random bull shit that comes out of people’s mouths at church and just look at the bible... yeah, he was right. Jesus flipped tables, he ate with societal outcasts like prostitutes and the homeless, and god did he hate the Roman government that controlled so much of the world at that time.

And I think that’s when I really felt free to embrace the punk culture. The one thing that was holding me back was gone. I also later learned that professor had a metal band (I’m now going to have to try to find his youtube again lol - its been years).

But yeah, being punk and religious in 2022 is hard. Its hard because the people who claim to be Christians are ignorant, refuse to learn, don’t know the context of the book they call holy, refuse to understand where Christianity stems from and our roots in Judaism, and keep trying to interpret the bible in a modern world (the bible can’t tell you shit about the evils of the internet man). I don’t particularly like going to church because I often find that its a snake pit disguised as a hospital. Though, that’s nothing new, if you ever take the time to read Romans (my favorite part of the bible), its full of Paul just absolutely loosing his ever loving shit because of how corrupt the churches are.

So instead of going to church once every seven days and conforming to the rest of the vipers there, I try to live my life by Jesus’ standards for interacting with others. Be kind and forgiving, try to understand other points of view, don’t discriminate based on job, color, socioeconomic status, gender, how many kids, ect. Moral of the story, in my opinion, to be a good Christian, you need to treat people as people, and welcome them with open arms. You need to give back to your community. You need to fight for a better world. You need to push back against oppressive and authoritarian governments. And those are all punk values as well.

#mail tag #personal

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morningsound15 · 1 year

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Hi! Really love your works! Do you plan any new fuffy fics?

Hi! Yes, always, I have about 8,000 words of a Fuffy pregnancy/kid!fic AU written that I may or may not complete before Christmas time, I have been extremely bad about fic writing recently.

but here's a little snippet/sneak peak if you'd like one

it's tentatively called Prophecy, Baby and rated either M or E I will decide after i've written the sexy stuff lol

Buffy shows up on Faith’s doorstep in Cleveland, five years after Sunny-D went crater-up, looking ragged and all-in-all worse for the wear. Faith’s eyes linger on the swelling beneath her t-shirt, and she blinks a few times, not knowing what to say. They haven’t seen each other in half a year, but Buffy’s got that look in her eye, the one that always seems to spell trouble for Faith and her bleeding heart.

“Hey,” Buffy finally says, her throat raspy, dark bruises under her eyes from exhaustion. “Got room for a couple of fugitives?”

Faith blinks, and can’t think of a single thing to say. Wordlessly she steps to the side, and opens her door, feeling a bit like she’s just hung a “Vamps, Demons, and All Manner of World-Ending Baddies Welcome!” sign above the knocker.

They don’t speak for several weird, stressful minutes, wherein Faith, on autopilot, goes about her hosting duties: she takes Buffy’s coat, leads her to the couch, and gets her a glass of water. Only then, once properly settled, does she think to speak.

“What the hell are you doing here, B?”

“Warm welcome,” Buffy says between hefty sips, rolling her eyes.

“I think I can stand to be a little testy. Wasn’t expectin’ company tonight.”

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting a hot date with you and your bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos?”

Faith spies the opened bag where she’d knocked it off the couch in her haste to get to the insistent knocking on her front door. She kicks it out of sight, embarrassed and huffy. “If you don’t wanna start explainin’, you know where the door is.”

Buffy looks like she might be in the mood to quip a bit longer, except something in her stomach must twitch (kick? Is the little gremlin at the kicking stage already?) and she winces. The fight leaves her at once, and she takes a breath and grits out, whether because of the pain in her abdomen or the pain of admitting it: “I needed a friend.”

Faith chokes down her knee jerk response, Are we friends?, and instead says, “Last I checked, you had lotsa friends. A whole castle full of them, actually.”

“I needed a friend who wasn’t going to send me back to the Organization. Someone I could… keep a low profile with. At least for a little while.” She glances down at her expansive stomach. “About three and a half months, actually.”

Faith nods. It makes sense, in a perverse sort of way. “So you came here. Last place on earth anyone would look for ya.” Buffy’s face performs an intricate dance disguised as a wince. She opens her mouth, maybe to apologize, but Faith waves her off. “No sweat. I get it. It was smart. And you know me, always looking to help a couple of good-for-nothings hide out from the law. Or the witches, or whatever it is you guys have got going on over there.”

“To be honest, I didn’t really think this through. I just knew I couldn’t stay there. And I hoped you wouldn’t turn me away.”

That’s something Buffy can always count on. It’s the part of Faith’s personality that she hates the most about herself. Her inability to turn Buffy away, even when she knows it’s no good for her to invite her in.

“They know?” Faith looks pointedly at Buffy’s rather large belly. “About… Buffy Junior in there?”

“They know,” Buffy says with a grimace. Faith is still staring. She can’t take her eyes off of Buffy. The swell of her belly, the heavy way she sits even now. Faith’s trying, as carefully and subtly as possible, to think through the timeline. It doesn’t do her much good, she basically doesn’t know anything about Buffy and what she gets up to outside of the two days they see each other every six months. They both prefer it that way. They get along like a forest fire — all burning destruction, crackling heat, explosive violence, etcetera etcetera. It’s easier to keep them apart, to minimize the damage.

Faith doesn’t have a very good knowledge of the reproductive cycle. She never finished high school, what with being a wanted fugitive and the whole coma and all, but if she had to guess she’d say Buffy’s probably somewhere in the second trimester. Five, six months along, maybe? Which would put the date of conception right around… right around…

Faith blinks, her eyes flicking up to Buffy’s face.

Buffy doesn’t seem to be paying her any attention. She groans as she stretches her feet out, her muddy boots making a mess of Faith’s coffee table. Faith doesn’t care about the mud or the boots. Buffy kicks her shoes off slowly, tries to bend to rub at her swollen ankles, grimaces when she can’t reach before flopping heavily down onto the couch again. After a few moments she notices Faith hovering, frozen in place, and she must clock the panic in Faith’s expression.

“It’s not yours,” Buffy says, not unkindly. Faith flushes, because she feels stupid for even thinking… of course the kid isn’t hers. That isn’t even possible. She doesn’t know much about the reproductive cycle, but she knows enough to know that their combination of downstairs equipment can’t, strictly speaking, do something like that. But she couldn’t help the initial thought. Unfortunately the thought of Buffy bouncing from her bed one night to some nameless, faceless, hunk of masculine musculature the next stings more than she’d like to admit. She can’t pause on that thought, or else she’s liable to put her fist through the wall. Or walk right off her balcony. Whichever one seems like it’ll cause more pain.

“I see you trying to do the math over there,” Buffy says, ignorant of the thousand-yard-leaps Faith’s mind has been making three feet to her left, “but it’s not yours.”

“Yeah,” Faith scoffs, and it rings hollow even to her. “Of course not. I’m not, like… I know how it works. Not like I coulda gotten you pregnant even if I wanted—I mean…” She clears her throat, her cheeks flaming hot (not unlike the bag of Cheetos currently attracting ants next to her TV). “So… the dad is—?”

“Not in the picture,” Buffy says shortly.

“Gotcha.”

“I didn’t come here for an interrogation.”

“Hey, I gotcha, B. If you wanted the third degree you woulda stayed in Scotland. I can be discreet. What goes into or comes outta your body ain’t any of my business.”

“Gross. But thank you, I guess.”

#buno19 #asks #buffy x faith #prophecy baby

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sockeye-run · 1 year

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Up early on a Saturday (it's my Friday) again. Usually I get to work early to open the cafe for breakfast service so that our bee pick up customers have a coffee and hot food option on site; a lot of them drive for hours to pick up their nucs and packages, even from out of state. Just coming from north Texas is basically out of state by sheer distance alone lol.

But today is BuzzFest, our annual summer festival about all things bees. We have the American Honey Princess visiting from Iowa, multiple other apiaries and honey producers vending and doing demonstrations, honey tastings and trivia, educational demonstrations, food trucks and arts and crafts and games (including a bouncy castle and a water slide!)... It's expected to be a big event, hopefully nearing 1,000+ customers between 11-3 today.

I'm assigned to retail, so I'm lucky enough to get to stay in the shade and AC. I've been told that when in retail, you just stand behind the register all day, no time or space to do anything else. You have to force bathroom and food breaks for each other. I'm not too worried, I've worked many a high volume, high chaos event before. This is just my first experience with it at the farm. We've spent all week as a team prepping for it, and it should be great. I wanted to make kolaches for my coworkers for a morning treat, but I stayed at work so late yesterday and was exhausted when I got home last night and decided not to stay up late baking lol. I'll grab some from the bakery down the street and try to make everyone a latte or something at work instead.

Because of the absolute disaster that has been this years bee pick up season, everything has been pushed back at least two weeks. Usually BuzzFest, which is the same weekend every year, signals the end of the crazy bee season, but we still have orders going into June. I was kind of looking forward to the break, but it seems we're not quite there yet.

The kids have some family events planned for the beginning of June, so we're getting them a week or so later this year for summer break than usual. We want them to have fun with their free time, so we're cool with it... Plus honestly, I'm hoping it will show good faith for December when I have to ask to keep them longer for an event with my side of the family 😁 my grandma is slowly deteriorating from rheumatoid arthritis and parkinson's, and my mom wants all the generations to be able to spend another holiday with her while we can. I want the kids to be able to participate in my family too. And, it'll let me get through the late bee season with relative ease, I suppose. I'm not gonna lie, I take on a lot of the caretaking responsibility when the kids are around usually, but now my husband has to step up for once lol bc I'm busting my ass full time and won't have the mental or physical energy left over most days to do all I normally do for everyone. He's already suffering the experience of doing regular weekly chores alone and taking care of the dogs all day lolol.

We're also anxiously and concernedly waiting for word on the debt ceiling crisis. They've extended the decision date to June 5, but we won't know if my husband will stop receiving paychecks soon or not, and it's crushing everything with stress pressure. He makes more than me in his military retirement and we depend on his income for survival; I can't support us alone. If they cut military support and punish the average voter for no goddamn reason, per usual, we'll suffer significantly. He's even warned his ex wife that if things go south, we may not be able to afford having the kids visit for summer. We won't be able to feed them. We've already unsubscribed from any extra services like entertainment and delivery and such which we deemed not absolutely necessary, just in preparation. We've re-budgeted and cut out any possible extra spending and reduced allowances for gas and food. I'm hoping it's all a stupid pissing contest like it was about a decade ago, and things will somehow turn out okay. Hope beyond hope.

Time to go work for those pennies baby lol

#personal fitblr #bee farm #2023 me

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dulcewrites · 11 months

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for Cassandra and the recent asks questions: Eros 1, 5 / Storge 1, 2, 4, / Agape 4 / Ludas 4, 5 / Philautia 1, 3, 4. Sorry it's a lot in one ask but I really love Cassandra. Also, I hope you're feeling okay! <3

first, thank you. I really appreciate that. Also no, it is not too much. I love discussing my work. Keeps me sane I think lol

Eros:

Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

I think growing up Cass probably grew up reading and hearing songs about romance. So she did grow up a romantic, dreaming about knights and love. That unfortunately gets snuffed out the older she gets. She gets offered up basically. I think she would enjoy being spoiled but she's become so hardened that she wonder what the caveat is. Cass and Aemond are funny bc they technically have a full proper 'I like you' courtship like 10 years into marriage with two kids and more on the way lmao.

5. How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

There is definitely a link between how beautiful she finds herself or even more so, how others find her and her worthiness of love. when you grow up with a parent as hyper aware of appearances as Vera was, it can lead to a bit of a complex. That along with the cheating. Cassandra thinks about how her beauty (her grace, her courtesy. all the things that she associates with being a lady) plays a part in how people see her, and in turn how people treat her. If people don’t like her, does it have something to do with how she has presented herself?

Storge

1. Did your OC's parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

*tokyo Toni voice* well no. Her mother was tough on her, and her father was a bit of a pushover. She did everything her parents asked for her and often it just resulted in her being in compromising positions. This manifested in her paranoia, lack of self esteem, and general misery.... so yikes

2. Does your OC have children? If so then how fiercely do they love them? If they have more than one then do they love them all equally? If they do not have children then is this part of their future plans?

her pookies :( She has two.. going on four once she has the twins. So it goes daella, Alaric, Alaena and Aeron. They are her everything. the reason she wakes up in the morning. I think she adores all her kids but I think daella will always just be... hers. Like her and Alaric's relationship will alway be interesting. He was the bandaid baby taken from her during the war. She didn't get to have that integral bonding like the first year and half of his life. then once aemond becomes king, Alaric is now heir. he is Cass' duty. Then Alaena and Aeron come at a really interesting point in her life, and essentially bc she’s told to have them. she loves them all, but daella is really the best thing that happened to her :(

4. Does your OC have any siblings? If so then did their parents have a favourite growing up? Has their relationship with their sibling changed in adulthood? If they don't have any siblings then do they perhaps feel they have missed out on an important relationship? Do they have any especially close friends who go some way towards filling that role?

Nope, just her. Vera has fertility issues and only got Cassandra from it. nah. She wishes she did though. Giving Cass a sibling was always something I went back and forth on. sometimes I regret not going her one, but I wanted there to be a real feeling of isolation with her.

Agape

4. Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasises the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

I have this image of Cassandra sort of spear heading the staunchness of the faith during the war. 1. bc its just good pr especially when you have the shepherd yelling about dragons and Rhaenyra being demonic lmao. 2. she was going through it. Now the faith as a religion is up for debate like all of them, in this universe and real life. I do think it can often get used and construed (kind of how she does lol). Though I do think the parts she believes and instills in her kids are about love and peace. she turned to it in a time of need and would want anyone to feel like they can.

Ludas

4.Who was your OC's first crush? How do they feel about it now?

A boy from the riverlands. More than likely a squire or son of a steward of house Devereux. I think she looks fondly on it bc it was a simpler time. It’s bittersweet bc I can imagine her parents being like ‘sweetie you can’t marry beneath you’ mind you she’s like 10 and just has a crush.

5. What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

She enjoys being treated with respect. It’s a low bar I know but she’s been sort of treated like a pawn or doll her whole life. Her opinions and thoughts being respected, especially as queen is the easiest way to open her up. In terms of physically, more soft touches, low lighting, sweetness sort of thing. Overt sexuality is hit or miss for her

Philautia

1. Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

Once she becomes queen, she takes on a different role that only exacerbates how much pressure and expectations she puts on herself. It’s strange bc in a way, she’s ‘won’. Her husband is king, she is queen consort, her sons will be kings god willing. But she feels so untethered from herself. It makes her feel like a failure sometimes bc she has so much compared to others, especially after a war, but often feels empty. She often think about what she could have done not being married into the family but at the same time could she have made as big of an impact if not in a royal family? She has to convince herself everything happens for a reason. If not, what was it all for

3. Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others

Hmmm yes and no? I think she holds herself to a pretty rigid standard, and hopes everyone around her follows suit. Sometimes those things are attainable, other times it’s her trying to be too perfect. It’s not realistic for herself or for others. I think the thing that she worries about being hypocritical about is ideals she sets in her family. Her relationship with Aemond - he cheated, does that mean she should? Would that cancel things out or just make her guilty? Or her with her kids. She doesn’t want her own daughters to feel constrained the way she did but she finds herself worried about them not acting like ‘perfect’ ladies. I think Cassandra is pretty forgiving considering what she’s been through, but she is also aware of the lack of choice she has sometimes. As a queen, mother, and wife - she has to be more benevolent than most at times.

4. Which of your OC’s qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

She considers herself a kind person. As well as pragmatic and thoughtful, as a ruler. She tries to put the interest of others ahead of her own bc of how much war and death has colored her life. I think she hopes more people in power goes that approach versus wanting more power

Oc Questions for Myrah and Cassandra

#sorry this took so long I wanted to answer them properly but I love these asks so much #fmo k&q au #asks game

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hlvraik · 2 years

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Can you try to write a drabble of some kind for your kid!gordon au?

Here's a little drabble I wrote over the last two days. Originally, it was going to be longer, but I was losing steam halfway through and I didn't want to postpone it. Sorry for any errors. I mainly wrote this while halfway asleep, and I'm a bit rusty when it comes to writing! :)

Who knew that babysitting your coworker could be so exhausting?

The team followed in pursuit of the lively preschooler, whose arms swung freely by their side as they ran through the countless empty halls that Black Mesa had to offer. Their head often swiveled to the left or right, so fast that the whole team swore that his little head could literally pop off of their shoulders at any minute, as he tried to take in as much scenery as they could to their small heart's content.

Maybe they should have stayed put in Darnold's lab.

"Gordon, could you maybe...slow down for a bit?"

Bubby called out in between their gasps for air. Sure, they despise admitting their shortcomings, but here they are, supposedly the so-called 'perfect lifeform' that scientists have taken years to almost perfect, having trouble catching up to the rest of the group and a mere 4-year-old.

Long were the days where they'd haphazardly burst out of their tube, sending glass flying everywhere as they led their researchers on a wild goose chase across the facility while shouting "FUCK YOU!!" and spewing flames left and right. Of course, they'd eventually get caught, and would be thrown back into their tube without so much as a second thought.

Things didn't have to end up like this. They could have just let them out from time to time. They were just tired of being stuck in the same god damn tube for thirty plus years and being prodded at like a frog undergoing dissection by a group of incompetent teens that had no idea what was going on. Not to mention, they were in dire need of a change of scenery...

...Huh. Maybe they aren't so different after all.

"Dr. Bubby's right, Gordon," Tommy replied, snapping Bubby out of their deep thought, "Without Sunkist or Benrey, there is-there's no way that we can keep up with you. Plus, I think running aimlessly might interfere with OSHA guidelines. You could run into important equipment and it could break! You're like... a crocodile loose in a bowling alley!"

Tommy's response was greeted by a playful raspberry blown by Gordon himself.

"You guys worry about me too much!" The child jabbed, looking back at the group while continuously running.

"I'm not going to break anything Tommy─I'm very good at not breaking stuff! Even better than some big kids in big kid's school! That's what my mom said!"

"Plus, if something does happen, I got my alien pals and you guys!"

"He does have a fair point, you two!" Coomer added, not trailing too far from Gordon.

"Not once has Gordon here broken anything within the confines of Black Mesa─besides the space-time continuum, of course! Plus, he has got the science team to protect him from any sort of danger that might come their way!" He cheerfully gestures towards both Tommy and Bubby.

"Dr. Coomer, for fuck's sake, please don't tell me you're agreeing with him!" Bubby rebuked, "Sooner or later he's going to break something or something's going to break him! That's just how things are! Now use your extendo-arms to grab him!"

"Language Professor Bubby!" Coomer chided, "You should try to have more faith in Gordon! He's one of Black Mesa's best scientists after all!"

"Yeah! What Coomer said!" However, before they were able to stick out their tongue, which was very crucial, they ended up running into a stray trashcan at full force.

In one clumsy swoop, with a surprised, painful squeak to match, Gordon was on the floor.

His small face remained scrunched up seconds after the impact while a small hiss escaped his lips, as if he was afraid that any slight change in facial movement would cause the slightest pain to spread throughout his body, just like a newly cracked glowstick.

His glasses hung askew on his face, teetering to one side and threatening to fall off the brim of his nose, yet there were no cracks or scratches visible on the lenses.

Well, that's one good thing to come out of this situation─another was that the science team was finally able to catch up to Gordon...

"GORDON!!" The science team hollared, staring down at the injured preschooler. Tommy bent down on one knee beside Gordon, placing one hand attentively behind his head and one on his chest, carefully sitting him up.

Upon closer examination, he didn't seem to be badly injured, although his face seemed to be fairly red.

"Gordon, could you please open your eyes for me?" Coomer gently says, bending down at eye level right in front of him, before pushing back and straightening Gordon's glasses."I want to check if you might have a concussion. If you don't know, a concussion, also known as a mild traumatic brain injury, is a head injury that temporarily affects brain functioning. Symptoms may include loss of consciousness, memory loss, headaches-"

"I'm...I'm fine, Coomer." Gordon said. His voice strained to mask the pain while slowly blinking his eyes open.

"Nothing hurts, and I don't think I have a concu.. Coin push? Coin-push-hand? Yeah, a Coin-push-hand."

A partical lie. While yes, he did in fact not have a concussion, his head did hurt a tad bit from the impact. It wasn't anything major, like the time he scraped his knee trying to jump off a swing; it was more like whenever he used to get a splinter. The pain itself was quite dull and throbbing, but it was still present and boy did it let Gordon know.

But it's not like he could tell the science team about it either; there's no doubt that they'll baby and coddle him to the point of turning right back towards Darnold's lab, claiming 'it's too dangerous to continue on'.

And there's no way he was going to let that happen.

"...Are you sure about that?" Bubby asked, squinting at the preschooler while crossing their arms across their chest. "Your face is rather red..."

Gordon's eyes immediately widen as he springs up, causing both Tommy and Coomer to back up (but not too far, as Gordon ends up losing his footing, leading to both of them helping him to find his balance).

"Yup! I'm toooooo-tally fine! Don't worry!" He exclaims, his voice partially wavering as he tries to find his balance, briefly pinwheeling his arms rapidly and leaning from one foot to the other, before coming to a halt and putting his hands on his hips.

He might be radiating fake confidence, but hey, it's some sort of confidence!

"Well then, if that's the case, how about we continue on our merry way then?"

#was it mostly going to be angst?....👀#hlvrai au #kid!au #half life vr self aware ai #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai coomer #hlvrai tommy #hlvrai #fanfiction #drabble #long post

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blankspacebye · 17 days

Text

Being single is a blessing

Quick heads-up: Brace yourself before diving into my words.

Life is full of twists and turns, they say. Indeed, when it comes to life, there’s no end to its complexities. Life, much like everything else, has its good and bad, its positives and negatives, its light and darkness. It always has two sides, between what is right and what is wrong.

Just like with my circle, sometimes I’m surrounded by people who agree with me, and sometimes I’m surrounded by those who don’t. But I dig both vibes, keeping myself open to different perspectives. Besides, differences are beautiful, just like my name, hehe.

I’m writing this not because I’m disappointed with my past or present; far from it, I feel pretty at peace with my past. All those experiences have been valuable lessons in my life journey. Thanks to those who still want to stay connected and share goodwill with me, and also, thanks to those who don’t.

Some people ask and make statements about not getting married after the age of 30, fearing it might become difficult to have children later on. They say time keeps ticking. Or they say, “Come on, get married, it’s about time.”

I also posed a question to my married friends. Some said marriage is a trap, while others said it’s a good thing. Some of my single friends aren’t interested in marriage at all. All those opinions are valid and valuable.

I always hear from married folks that marriage is all about commitment. If you can’t commit, then don’t bother. I’m totally vibing with all those perspectives.

Sometimes, there are no guarantees, right? Even tomorrow isn’t promised. It’s like this movie I watched called “He’s Just Not That Into You,” where it portrays married folks who still cheat despite being in a committed relationship. But that doesn’t mean everyone’s like that, you know? On the flip side, there are couples dating without official commitments who stay faithful to each other. So, what’s all this about? Some things we can control, and some we can’t. That’s life for you — Even when your mind is a mess, keep your wits about you.

And once you’re married, they’ll ask, “When are you having kids?” Then comes the never-ending question, did you get married just to having kids? Well, some say yes, to carry on the family line. Others say that children are a gift, so they got married to spend their lives with their partner forever.

I’ve also observed the lives of some of my friends who are over 40, both men and women, still single. Although sometimes they also say they need someone to share stories with. But I think they’re quite happy with their lives too. And we never really know what our friends have been through, which leads them to have different perspectives and choose their own paths in life. I’ve heard that some people grow from their scars, while others just pretend to forget.

“Start by filling your own cup with happiness, then overflow it onto others.” “Create your own happiness first, then become the source of light for others.”

From all the thoughts above, the questions and statements I’ve encountered, what I’ve found is this: I want to make myself happy first, so that I can then make others happy. But I also want to remain kind to everyone I meet. The people who are here, who have come and those yet to come, they’re not coincidences but rather lines of life that I’m meant to walk. So I don’t want to have regrets; I want to always learn from them. Everyone has a different definition of happiness.

I’m thrilled to have come across this quote from my best friend today, and it reassures me that being single isn’t something to fear, “You’d better go around the world first or just daydream in the nearest park. Then, If you want to get married, you can do it tomorrow. You can marry anyone who wants to be with you, anytime.”

Being single is living the good life

And with that, I can feel that I’m no longer afraid of being single. I don’t want to set a specific age for marriage; it’s something that will happen in due time, as granted by the Creator. So, I’ll just live, embrace, and be grateful for life as it is now, because everything happens in its own time.

Their words will never stop, will they? But when we stumble, can they truly lift us? It’s not others but ourselves who can lift us back up after a fall. I know how to let words enter through one ear and exit through the other, hehe. It doesn’t mean I don’t care; I know myself, what can make me happy, even with simple things.

Our own selves are our best friends; don’t make them our biggest enemies. Befriend both the good and the bad. And prioritize our own happiness first.

But if I may, when I do get married someday, “I want to be very married” just like Audrey Hepburn said.

I feel like I’ve attained this smile, so I’m going to share it. If we ourselves don’t have a smile, how can we give it to others? You Can’t Share What You Don’t Have — You Can’t Have What You Don’t Share I have plenty of smiles, and I’m ready to share; I share them with you and the world.

So, to wrap up this piece, for all of you out there navigating life, whether solo or with a partner — always strive to be a good person — never tire of learning about life.

Stay adorable.

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