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ahgasegotarmy116 · 10 days

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Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter One

Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit) Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)

"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.

"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.

"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.

"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.

"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.

"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.

I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.

"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.

"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.

"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.

"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.

"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.

"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.

"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.

"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.

"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.

"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her.

"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.

~~~~

Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence.

My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.

"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.

"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.

"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.

Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.

It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.

I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.

I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.

I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.

I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.

Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier.

It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.

Until it wasn't.

I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.

I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing.

As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep.

~~~~~~

"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.

"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.

"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.

Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.

"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.

"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.

"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.

"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.

Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.

"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.

"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.

"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.

"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.

Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.

"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.

Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.

"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.

"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.

"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.

"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.

"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.

"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father.

I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest.

I've got no reason to hide from him.

"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.

"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.

"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.

"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.

"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.

"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.

"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.

"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.

"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.

"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away.

My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.

"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.

"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.

"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.

"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.

"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.

"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.

"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.

"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement. "Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.

I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.

"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.

"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet.

Why does he make me so nervous?

"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.

"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.

"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.

"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.

"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.

"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.

"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.

"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.

"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.

"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.

"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.

"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.

"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.

"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.

He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.

"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.

"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.

I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.

"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.

Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes.

When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.

He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents.

When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.

When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me.

"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.

"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.

"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.

"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.

"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.

Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.

"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.

As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.

"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.

Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.

"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.

"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.

"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.

"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.

I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.

"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.

"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.

"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.

"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.

"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.

"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.

After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.

I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.

The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.

Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.

The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.

"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.

"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"

"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.

"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.

"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot.

"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.

"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.

"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.

"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue.

"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too.

"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.

"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer.

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me.

"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen.

"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me.

"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide.

"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it.

"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap.

"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone.

"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it.

"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not.

"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him.

"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room.

"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit.

"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching.

I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten.

"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same.

"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ.

"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head.

"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door.

Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit.

"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me.

I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair.

"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics.

They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried.

My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.

He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that.

"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again.

"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh.

The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well.

Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes.

Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms.

"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.

"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too.

"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response.

"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response.

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off.

"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago.

"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.

"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting.

"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought.

"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us.

"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one.

I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone.

I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him.

'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out.

'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it.

A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.

'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time' he says and I rush to respond.

'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook' I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up.

'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile.

"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave.

"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home.

~~~~

Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response.

I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream.

After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is.

"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face.

I can't wait to see him again...

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 6 months

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Peaches & Cream | Masterlist

➪ Pairing: jungkook x female reader

➪ Synopsis: You're his Peaches and he is your Pretty boy. It's all very simple until the fear of commitment kicks in. How does one maintain a safe distance when it's Jungkook? The gestures might be sweet and naive but the heat between us is almost suffocating.

➪ Genre: college love, strangers to friends to lovers, undefined relationship, commitment issues, fear of abandonment, angst, slow burn, plot twist

➪ W/c: 31.5k

➪ Playlist (Spotify) *Note: There are 17 songs, one for each chapter

➪ Sequel: Somewhere Between Hello and Goodbye

Chapter 1: The Night Before I Met You - 1.9k

Chapter 2: Hey Flip Flops - 1.4k

Chapter 3: Nursing Buddies - 1.3k

Chapter 4: Let Me Make It Up To You - 1.2k

Chapter 5: Fever - 1.4k

Chapter 6: You Can Be My Baby For Tonight - 1.6k

Chapter 7: Clinging Onto Me - 1.6k

Chapter 8: Safe Escape - 1.6k

Chapter 9: Almost Had You - 1.6k

Chapter 10: Scavenger Hunt - 2.3k

Chapter 11: Tell Me To Stop - 2k

Chapter 12: Purple Marks - 1.7k

Chapter 13: Company - 1.5k

Chapter 14: Mental Picture - 1.8k

Chapter 15: You Don't Want Me? - 2.6k

Chapter 16: Peaches and Cream - 2.7k

Chapter 17: Ruin Our Friendship - 2.9k

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btsmosphere · 2 months

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Supercharged | JJK - Masterlist

Updates every Sunday!!!

🗲summary:

It starts with a blow to the chest that changes your life. When your city’s most celebrated hero pays a visit, it turns out the noble Bolt has no trouble tossing lives aside. Lives that won't be missed. Lives like yours. Seven mysterious and powerful men give you another chance – one that starts to feel more like a curse the moment you meet golden boy Jungkook. The boy who wants you as far from his brothers as he can get you. Is it you he hates, or the blue lightning that now runs through your veins? And could it be his golden light that illuminates your heart when darkness threatens?

🗲pairing: jungkook x female reader 🗲genre: angst, action, slow burn, enemies to lovers, superheroes/villains au, found family 🗲rating: pg15 🗲warnings: violence with superpowers, weapons, swearing, arguing, injury, past trauma, mentions of death

Teaser

Supercharged Playlist

Chapter 1 - The Light Dies

Chapter 2 - Reign of Mercy

Chapter 3 - Figure it Out

Chapter 4 - We aren't Heroes, Honey

Chapter 5 - Scared of a Little Lightning

Chapter 6 - Burn Out

Chapter 7 - Spark to Life

Chapter 8 - On the Force

Chapter 9 - Thank me Later

Chapter 10 - Is This Not Control?

Chapter 11 - Right Beside You

Chapter 12 - Into the Depths

Chapter 13 - One of Us

Chapter 14 - Cover Me

Chapter 15 - Powerless

Epilogue - Sweet Taste

Updates every Sunday! To be on the taglist, send me a message, ask or comment!💜

#jungkook x reader #jungkook series #jungkook mafia #jungkook enemies to lovers #bts enemies to lovers #jungkook slow burn #jungkook angst #jungkook masterlist #supercharged #jeon jungkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook fanfic #bts mafia au #superhero bts #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios

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chimcess · 4 months

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— Waterlog: the masterlist

“After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin.”

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10

Extras: the playlist

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softandsourcream · 8 months

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Stop, you’re losing me~ - one

————————•。・. ゜・。_________________

Summary: The last time you saw Yoongi wasn't one of your fondest memories. And actually, you thought that after ten years you no longer had any more tears to shed for that memory, for that situation, for him.

What was the problem with meeting him again at his brother's wedding, right?

Right?

pairing: idol! yoongi x vet!f reader.

Words: 9k

genre(s): angst, hurt- comfort, slow burn, fluff, smut (+18) (not this one tho)

au(s): childhood friends - to lovers, idol yoongi, normal vet reader, entertainment industry, denial and resentment.

warnings: curse words, family drama, grief, loss of loved ones, panic/anxiety attacks, damaged mental health, a LOT of struggling. Yoongi is here to help tho♡.

author’s note: just wanna let you all now that I’m so exited that this is out now! Hope you enjoy it and if you have any suggestion just let me know! I don’t bite 🐇. Also, English it’s not my fist language, so please be patient with this dumbass

IMPORTANT: this fic contains a lot of sensitive topics touched upon explicitly. Please, if any of the tags trigger something in you, stop reading. You’re more important, and there is much more content you can consume here. Take care please! ♡

enjoy!

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“Where are you?”

“Outside.” In fact, he had gotten out of the car a second ago, and he wasn't going to answer, but he didn't know where they were either; the place was exaggeratedly large.

“Get in here then, you're late.”

“I’m at the entrance... where are you?” His voice breathless, he ran a lot in less than 20 minutes.

“Your brother is about to faint, so you’re going to see us easily. The first row.”

Yoongi hung up the phone, and sure enough, it wasn't difficult for him to find his family right at the end of the place. His brother looked around restlessly, probably looking for him or his fiancée, because he knew he was late, but he didn't seem to have started yet either.

His father, on the other hand, observed his brother's concern with the empty gaze he had always had from his seat, blinking slowly without saying much. He smiled a little at the scene (also a little relieved to finally be there) and started walking quickly, straight there, without looking at anyone else.

He greeted some of his aunts from afar, bowed to others he didn't know but greeted him, and ended up meeting his brother's eyes, almost finishing his journey. The concern on his face changed to one of anger, and he approached him as if suddenly he wasn't about to get married and be responsible for a family. His posture was the same as when they played as children, and his mother had to separate them for a toy.

It gave him chills.

“Hel-“

“Where the fuck were you.”

Yoongi frowned exaggeratedly at the bad word, looking at his father, who was watching everything in the same exact spot with the exact same cold and calm eyes.

“You’re not going to say anything to him?”

He didn’t respond, and Yoongi chuckled when his brother insulted him again.

“Calm down, if mom hears you, she-“

“You’re half an hour late, Min.” Finally, his father, mad. He can tell just by his voice. Yoongi shrank from the scolding and grimaced, looking at his brother.

“I’m sorry.” One. Sooner than he expected “They didn’t let me go sooner.” Greum-Jae didn't even seem interested in hearing an excuse; Yoongi had never seen him so angry before. But he still dared to continue speaking. “I get you’re mad, and I’m sorry, but don’t be mad with me right now. This is your day, we can fight later, and I’m here. I’m really sorry, for real, it wasn't my intention to ruin this for you.”

“Now it’s my job to be calm?” Jae fled from his touch. “To ignore your mistakes? You literally have one job.”

“I know I- I don’t have any other excuse, okay? I’m really sorry.”

Two.

It was subtle, but after a moment, his gaze softened, and so did his body, which was the most noticeable. Jae hugged him, and Yoongi smiled sadly, because he did feel bad, but, of course, it wasn’t the time to show it.

“You’re lucky she’s late too, and that I’m in a good mood right now.” He knows. “Missed you…”

“Me too.” His smell, his hugs, his voice. His home. He missed. “You are in a good mood, though? You look like you're about to throw up.”

He hit his shoulder, breaking the hug and getting closer to his father. Yoongi says hi to him without receiving a response, of course. He looked older and tired, which made him think about how long he had not set foot in that city. He squeezed his fist, unsettled. “I’m nervous; of course I look like that.”

Yoongi was going to ask why, genuinely interested, because he didn't understand why he should be nervous. He wasn't supposed to do anything more than 'yes, I do' and be with the person he loves most for the rest of his life. He also understood that, from the context, Yoongi would never understand it, and he didn't feel like doing it either. Also, he shouldn't be that direct, so he swallowed his question and leaned with both hands on the empty chair next to his father, placing all his weight on his arms.

He wanted to ignore the fact that he felt watched. There were a lot of people there. He hadn't taken a look to see how much he knew and how much he didn't, that was an activity he would leave for when they were dancing and there was less light. Right now he knew that everyone was looking at him, and he didn't like it because, although it was a family and private event, he couldn't completely ignore it. Photos of him would still come to light. It was, in fact, one of the discussions he had with the company days before.

“Your brother doesn't want to hear you, but I do. What is more important than your brother’s wedding now?”

Shit.

Jae was now talking to someone who came to tell him news about Eun, and he had walked away. He could only hear the echo of people talking, laughing, and happiness. Yoongi didn't want to have that conversation right now.

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“You’re being unfair right now.”

The man sighed.

“I’m just asking, Yoongi." And his voice sounds different too, so Yoongi didn’t like it. “If I’m not right, why don’t you tell me? You know I know when you're right, and I'm not. I'm not stubborn, you're locking yourself in."

Yoongi wrinkled his nose because he was right in a way, and he hated that it was like that. It was true; he didn't know why he felt so cornered all of a sudden. Stretching his arms and looking at the ground, he became a little dizzy. His whole body suddenly hurt; maybe all the fatigue of those months came upon him.

“Working.” He was honest even so, knowing what was coming. His father didn’t move in any sense. “I was working, but it wasn't'more important than this’. They wouldn't let me go, for real.”

“You didn’t take a day off?”

“I can’t. I’m on tour right now, and I asked permission, but you know that they’re not flexible with the times.

“Just like your mother's birthday. Or every Christmas.” He sounds sad now, almost disappointed. Mad, but really sad. “We invite you, but you never come. Your brother was shaking yesterday. He really wanted to see you.”

There was silence. A big one, where you could still hear the murmurs of the people, the echo of the grandeur of the place, the clicking of heels, and the shy laughter. He gave them both time to realize where they were, that they were in suits, and that, after all, he hadn't seen that man in a long, long time.

Yoongi's apology stuck in his throat—another genuine apology.

A third.

“I'm sorry, son.” His father says instead. Yoongi had heard it a few times in his 30s. “I understand. We understand, but... we always do. Me, your mother, and your brother today. He has all the right to be mad; we all are, but you’re doing your best, and we’re getting old too.” This time he looked at him, smiling a little. Yoongi does too, but his was a sad one. “Just don’t forget about your family. I just hope I make it to your wedding too.”

“Pff.” They laughed, and the son nodded, his nose still wrinkled just thinking about it. “I can only do the first one, sorry. That’s why Jae did it first. Maybe I don't invite you to a wedding, but you have been sitting more than once watching me in a stadium with more people than here.” He looked at his brother with his eyes. He continued talking to that woman, nodding, biting his lip, having an awful time, and if it wasn't bad, then something questionable. Yoongi could swear his palms were sweating. “I honestly don't feel like... being that worried.”

His father looked nothing in the front, with a smirk on his face. Yoongi realized how old he turned again.

“You just haven't found the right person to be like this for.”

That doesn’t sound like his father. At all.

He looked at him again and couldn't say anything when his brother was already in front of them, smiling and wiping the sweat from his hands.

He knew it.

“She’s about to arrive, take your seat.”

Yoongi left the back of the chair where there was supposed to be another person there who wasn't there, and frowning, he looked around the room without really doing it, realizing that he was missing someone to greet.

“Where’s mom?”

And as if he hadn't been listening to laughter, murmurs, and voices of people for ten minutes that filled his ears non-stop, right after that question, a specific laugh seemed to answer his doubt, reversing his pressure and causing a strong shiver to run down the back of his neck.

He turned quickly, perhaps even a little disbelievingly, and then, he saw you.

Not his mother, though. Or yes, her too, but his eyes fell on you first because it was always like that, because that was your laugh, and because it was impossible not to.

Far away. The possibility of having heard your laughter was quite unlikely, even impossible. Seven or eight rows back. Of course, you were wearing baby blue, delicate, and tight. The fabric didn’t shine like your gloves do, and you had your long hair loose, tied up from the top just a little. You laughed heartily, teeth on display, his mother being the cause of your smile and your bright eyes. Such honest and grateful happiness, because why not, you both looked exaggeratedly happy to be in front of each other again. Her mother held your hands tightly, moving them up and down in time with her words, and you just nodded and responded briefly.

His heart stopped. He could swear he had even forgotten to breathe.

Yoongi didn't enjoy eye contact.

He usually runs away from it. He feels stupid, and he gets embarrassed quickly. It's a tense situation for him, but he was wishing with all his might that you two had it at that moment. That his eyes were heavy enough for you to turn to look at him and take a good look at you because your eyes had always been big and expressive, and he needed to confirm that he wasn't hallucinating.

At least that's what they were like the last time he saw them, so many years ago that he couldn't count them, and from what he saw from there, many things had changed.

You look breathtaking. You've always looked this pretty, but right now…

He didn't know if it was because he hadn't seen you in person for many years, up close, but unpleasant things were happening to him. His legs trembled when you finally looked back. Big eyes, make-up on, pretty color, and they opened, your moves frozen, and somehow, you two had an extremely uncomfortable visual conversation, as if you were face to face, and you didn't know what to say.

To his surprise, your gaze quickly changes to a more confident, almost cold look, and you bow with extreme lightness to say hello without intending to break contact. However, his mother did, hugging goodbye to you as soon as everyone started tidying up, music started playing, and Yoongi was forced to sit down, trembling, sweating, and unfocused, remembering how you looked.

He was there again, in real life, in Daegu, where he was born and grew up, where it was hot and dangerous to go out at night, where they used to live, and where he used to get lost when he could.

He had arrived that morning, but his brother, his parents, and you brought him back home.

“Shit.”

Not in a comfy, lullaby way. More like a cold water falling from the sky directly on the ground/ type of way.

He was there. You were there, feeling better than him, of course, but you don’t know. You had the whole month to mentally prepare for that reunion. Obviously you had a better handle on it, but you were also shaking, and you had to take a couple of breaths before you were ready for the wedding.

“Good?”

Seun was next to Greum when everything happened, in a way waiting as a spectator. Both in silence, from afar. Now he was waiting for you to respond, so he could start the recording in case you said something compromising. Both of you were in your assigned seats, with Jae at the altar.

“If it’s better than him, then yes, I’m great.” He laughed and checked at the entrance in case Eun was peeking out. He wanted to see her dress. You shake your shoulders, trying not to look in his direction again, releasing tension.

“Well, I don’t judge him. Jae didn’t tell him you were here.”

You scoff, “He didn’t? We're some show to you two or something?” putting your brother's arm away (with more force than necessary. It bothers you that he didn't take seriously how you felt. More now that you were especially sensitive) so you can record properly. The music began to overwhelm you a bit.

Now. Suddenly they were all in order, therefore quieter, so you two had to continue the conversation in whispers. Jae was waiting for his future wife; the doors of the place were open, but nothing was happening yet.

“He told me months ago that he wasn’t sure if he would arrive. The invitation was made, but he hasn't seen him for almost a year. When-“ he stops, unlocking his phone that had turned off for not pressing record yet, making you smile. Your older brother reminded you a lot of your father sometimes, and you rarely saw him so excited and well groomed at the same time. Your dress color and his suit matched too. His idea. “When Yoongi confirmed he was coming, Jae didn’t have the time to tell him. So yeah,” you looked at him when he did, blinking. “I know he’s feeling a lot of things right now.”

Well, that was weird.

That doesn’t sound like Yoongi, Yoongi loves his brother, his family, at least the one you know.

The type of relationship you had now (null) didn't allow you to say that out loud, and, strictly speaking, you didn't understand his reaction either. He looked genuinely surprised; it shouldn't affect him if he was the one who broke everything in the first place. You assumed it had just been the surprise, and it would take you a good stretch of the night to be able to let go of the fact that they were there, so close but so far, to let go of the possibilities of talking, hugging him, and telling him how much you had missed him, know about him, how he handled things. Just as before. Because it didn't help you to think like that, and because how pretty and beautiful your best friend looked right now, happy, in white, and excited, couldn't be placed on anything else.

You hoped you could breathe in peace for the rest of the night. Although at some point you thought you could do it without problems, because once you wiped away the tears that came out of you when you saw Eun enter and the ceremony took place, between your brother talking to you, you were laughing at him because he had also cried halfway through. On the way, the rest of your family arrived, and an inexplicable happiness that ran through you as you were surrounded by so many people that you knew and hadn't seen in years consumed you, your head stayed busy. A lot, and you still had it in mind, but you were not alone, and that made you feel good, safe, and a little calmer.

It was easy for you not to give him your night. At least the first part of it.

Apparently, after the ceremony, the party, and celebration would take place in the same place. You weren't really surprised, in fact, it moved you even more because the place was gigantic, very tall, and beautiful, almost like a theater, and there were many, many people, enough to fill the place. Not in a suffocating way, but enough to get lost. It was mostly of age, older people, maybe grandparents you hadn't managed to meet before, and then there were people directly younger, but you knew those, Seun was a people butterfly. Friends of theirs, you assumed. Actually, Seun stopped explaining who the boy was sitting next to one of her good friends when a man, tall and good-looking, started to talk on a microphone.

“Now, now, and congratulating the bride and groom once again, we would like to call the loved ones of both to say a few words before the fun part starts.

Everyone laughed, and Seun looked at you. You forgot about that part.

“Let’s start with the parents…”

“I can go for you instead.”

“It’s okay.” You smile. You knew that he was doing his best to be able to contain you, and give you the best company, despite the fact that it was not easy for him. “I’m not made of glass.” You joke, listening to Eun’s mother speak already.

And well, for him, you were. At least right now, but he didn’t say it, scoffing to hide his thoughts. “I’m trying to be good. Dad it’s watching now, I have to be an example.”

“For what.”

“Shut up, don’t be disrespectful.”

You try not to laugh. He was nervous now. You never understood why it was so difficult for him to admit that he cared for others. Not even with Jae he dared to do it, or at least that's what you thought. You didn't know how he would tell the truth in his speech.

You were the last one. You knew this because when you arrived, Jae told you. Eun wasn't supposed to know you were there. Of course, she had invited you, but she didn't know if you would finally attend because you hadn't been able to communicate with anyone these last few months. You met once, when she came to see you at your house, but you couldn't talk about much. You were on another planet, it was like your head was disconnected from your body most of the time, and she assumed you wouldn't go.

You wanted to think that she hadn't seen you when she passed, but you doubted it. With the amount of people there, and with how focused she was on Jae, it was impossible.

Still, you were nervous. When you accepted, you didn't think you would be in front of so many people. Your heart was beating.

“Is that Yoongi?” Nara, your sister, asked your mother just behind you when he got position and greeted everyone.

“Yeah. Why he wouldn't?” Your mom responded a bit confused. You could hear her smile.

“I think you all were joking when you told me he was on BTS, for real. It doesn’t look at all like the Yoongi I knew.” You hear a laugh, a gentile one, and then your other brother making fun of her behind. Your dad scolds them.

Now, you take advantage of the moment to take a better look at him.

You wanted to blame it on the fact that your sister was only nine when she met Yoongi, and every time he appeared on TV or in videos she was told it was him, she just couldn't believe it. You just hoped those were her blurry memories of him, because you couldn't see him too differently from how you remembered it.

Maybe his hair was longer, he was paler, taller, his back had grown considerably, and he had that special glow that any celebrity would have. He looked like an entire adult now, too. He wore expensive clothes and good shoes, although he didn't seem to have put any effort into his hair, or his appearance in general, he looked incredibly unreal, so much that it makes you angry.

If you thought about it enough, and if you didn't know it was him, you would’ve struggled to recognize him too. You often saw him in magazines, posters, on buildings in Busan, on train pamphlets, on your cell phone and even in medicine, but seeing him in person was overwhelming. It was like seeing a stranger you already knew, but better yet, he was there, but at the same time he wasn't.

You take a deep breath when you realize that, despite all those things, his features were still just as soft and delicate, just like his mother's.

His knuckles still turned red without much effort, and he smiled the same way, making that slight pout with his lips before crying, trying to contain it, and he wiped the tears carelessly. You found your Yoongi in the one you were looking at right now, with little things, with gestures, with details that you used to admire more than necessary, they were still there.

and it made you feel nauseous.

You blinked a few times, snapping out of your trance as everyone applauded, and realized you hadn't heard a single word. He had even cried, and you didn't know why. You saw Jae stand up as he was called to take position on the small stage, and a much louder round of applause made you jump lightly. They came from behind, just that young section that assumed they were friends of both. There were a lot of people, and it didn't surprise you that Seun was already fooling around on his way to the small stage there.

“How are you feeling, blossom?"

Your father asked, taking advantage of the fact that you turned around to look at the crowd and that your brother was not there. They were both looking at you, and the rest of your brothers were talking among themselves.

“I'm okay.” It wasn't necessarily a lie. You felt just as bad as you do every day. Besides, you knew that they were referring to something more specific (Min Yoongi) than to your general emotional state, so you smiled slightly, closed, and placed your hand on your mother's, who was on your arm. “I’m good; don’t worry.”

As you predicted, Seun's speech was so unserious and absurd that it's not worth dwelling on. For some reason, everyone was laughing with him, he had livened up the atmosphere and unintentionally infected everyone with joy.

He soon returned to his seat and sat still with applause in the background. You couldn't believe it.

“I don’t get why he’s still your friend.”

“We’re in love, sister.” He asure. “This wedding is for three people. They will never get rid of me.”

“Shut up.”

“Now.” The good-looking man says “Briefly before eating and doing fun things, we have one more person who wants to wish you both the best, of course.”

You can see Eun’s confused look at her husband now, and he quickly grabs her hand. Your heart was ricing, you felt your mother's hand on your shoulder.

“Park ___, please."

Eun almost jumped from her seat, looking around, looking for you. You also saw someone else look for you in the crowd when you were getting up a little stiff because of your dress. You say sorry to an old woman right in front of you, who you accidentally hit softly because Seun didn’t move at the right moment.

“Oh my god.”

You didn't have time to get halfway down the hall to the front when a large white dress ran towards you to hug you. You smiled at the impact because you were a little taken aback by how strong it came and how big her dress was. You smiled when you already had her in your arms.

“You have been here all this time?”

“Of carouse.”

“Oh my god, thank you…” she softly says, hugging you even harder.

“I wouldn’t miss the happiest moment of your life.”

Because it had cost you, but you had arrived. Was she crying? Thank goodness people were still clapping because of the moving nature of the situation, and they couldn't hear you. You were trying so hard not to cry too.

If you did it, you wouldn't stop.

“I know you-“

“It’s okay.” You stopped her. “I’m okay.”

You squeezed her waist as a signal for you to start moving, and she moved away from you to caress your face lovingly and look at you like... most people have looked at you lately with pity and kissed your forehead.

Pity.

She took your hand, and the entire way, you could feel Yoongi's gaze on you. From the moment she hugged you until she kissed you and started leading you forward, like an exhibition, heavy, right next to you. He made you feel small, it was silly.

“Now stop crying; I haven't said anything yet.” You start, with the microphone in your hands, making everybody laugh, the couple too, Jae helping her with the tears. The place was in silence, the lights, the eyes, and the attention were just on you. So you take a deep breath and unfold the paper you’ve got prepared. “I- uh~” a sigh. “I don’t know how people do this without crying, I- okay.” You were nervous, but the place laughed again, so it gave you time to breathe.

“I still remember you both being taller than me, smarter than me, and older than me. I know that deep down all of you were so done of me, right behind there too,” all those people scream from behind, and you laugh. “because I used to talk a lot, and I carry my toys everywhere, so I can show it to all of you, and I made too many questions for people who are starting to be teenagers and want to look cool, but I wasn’t. I didn’t even care, I remember that. I was the pain in the ass that comes with Seun. Just a plus because Seun it’s a bother himself.” The aforementioned rolled his eyes, and you waited for there to be silence so you could continue. “I understand that now, and I just came here to apologize.”

The atmosphere after the laughter was now a little solemn, and in contrast to your brother, you were capable of poisoning the things you touched, and those who knew you knew that. You could see the newlyweds were a little worried, but you kept smiling, giving them confidence that nothing bad was going to happen. At least that wasn't your intention.

“Sorry for being the impediment for you to go out late at night or for having to return early from wherever we were... I- was with you.” Uh. You try to keep the smile. Shit, “sorry for being so annoying, and sorry for the fact that I didn't care. Because as much as I didn't like being with you sometimes, the best part of my day was watching you eat at my table, or Mrs. Min organizing my birthdays, and everyone coming with gifts that I genuinely liked because you all heard what I was saying even if I was giving you a headache.”

Unintentionally, you met those eyes again from afar, just when you were trying to control that lump in your throat because the worst part was coming, and you didn't know if you were ready. You said the following while still looking at Yoongi, not at you, surprisingly. “I miss it. I really do, and I’m so grateful that I carry all that with me.”

You look at the paper, change the page, and breathe. So you try once “I-“ and twice. “I- um…” a shaking breath sounds everywhere, reading the words, but you just can’t. “Sorry~” you're softly trying to laugh as you cry start, and you feel so stupid for breaking in front of a lot of people. No because it was bad, everybody there cried before you, but not because of the same thing.

“I love you!” You didn’t know who it was, but you smiled and responded with a really quiet and shaking'me too', giving you time to breathe as everybody laughed, and the atmosphere eased.

“Okay.” You say more to yourself, but you have a mic on your mouth, of course. “I didn’t write this part alone. Kija he… he is my twin, so of course he was with me in all of this story, but when he got sick and we were writing this months ago, he told me that I didn’t mention him in all this because it was going to be about me, not him… he’s kinda dumb.”

You laugh, trying not to tear up. You were holding the next tears, but like, fighting demons and everything to not cry. You, for real, didn’t want to cry in front of all those people. Your voice was obviously trapped in your chest, and it was shaking, but you couldn't do anything but breathe. You just have to be quick.

“But he told me that he wanted to tell you both that he and I were very proud to have seen you grow together, hate each other together, and deny that you liked each other together and today, for me, seeing you two married means a lot. I adore you two with all my heart. Congratulations, and I know you’re going to do a great job. I'm sure Kija would have done a better job telling him in person, but I'm here for him, so you know. He would- have loved to come, I have no doubt. Be happy, please, and no babies yet; I’m not ready.”

You didn’t remember anything after that, which means two things:

One, you need to calm down because two, you weren’t fine.

You remember the hug, and a few words both of them told you, and all the looks people gave you just after that, full of sadness and compassion (which was the first thing that made you want to run away). And at the party, you dance because you enjoy it, and you feel a little better, but people stop you all the time to give you their condolences because “they didn’t know”.

The cake was cut, the presentation was done, and you could only come back to the moment when you had your first drink of whiskey, and your body told you that it wasn’t a good idea. Your heart was fast in your chest, that would only make it worse with alcohol.

You need to breathe.

“Sorry, what?!”

You scream behind the music. Some girl named Hwan stopped you. (It came right at the beginning, when Seun was next to you, and you were pretending to listen to how she had recently graduated. Poor girl, honestly, she looks kind and lovely.) with two glasses of tequila and some salt in her hand.

“My friend!” She said. “I lost him, so take this!”

And then:

“Hurry! I have to go for more before they run out!” You were too agitated for this. This is a bad idea ___. “c’mon c’mon honey!”

Your hands were tingling, your breathing was short, and you were afraid. You had tried to go to the bathroom, but it was full, and it was even more claustrophobic than all those people. Right next to it, there were some stairs that you assumed went up to the balconies that surrounded the place. You were very grateful that it was high, enough to encapsulate the music on the floor below, and you heard it as if you were listening from a glass.

Or was it you?

You leaned on the railing and began to sweat. You closed your eyes, trying to calm down little by little, to look for things to think about, to feel something other than fear and anguish at the same time, but it was impossible, completely, and that made you even more desperate. You were breathing as if you had just run for two hours non-stop, and there came a point where your legs couldn't support your body. You couldn't feel your hands, cried a lot, trying to catch air, moaned in terror.

“please please please… stop just-“

You were trying not to faint, you were on the edge of a high place, and it was now dark for those below. It was when you felt like you really couldn't do anything. That you tried to stand back in case your body gave way forward, and it wasn't more dangerous when you felt hands on your stomach directly and the warmth of a body behind you.

A warm feeling that felt like burning on a straight fire

“Easy~ here,” you heard, far away from you, just like the music in a glass. The only thing that told you that he was literally glued to you was his touch. “Can you feel my hand?” You didn't respond, trying to run away. You didn’t want to be touched. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re safe. If you want to feel better, you have to answer me, okay?”

“Hmm” a moan full of pain, was not even an answer.

“Okay?” They asked again. This time you nodded and felt the hand move on your stomach, the fingers more than anything, like playing a piano. Soft, but rough at the same time. “Can you feel it?” Your two hands were placed on his in an attempt to find support; you couldn't feel your legs, and after giving him an affirmative answer with your head, you complained again, your head was about to explode. “Move my hand with your stomach as you breathe.” And you did. Erratic and desperate “That’s good, but try it slower. Focus on moving it, not on breathing.”

“I- I ca-“

"Yes, you can. You do it every day; come on.”

You know, you just didn’t want to be there.

You try your best to move his hand. It was hard because you were sobbing, and trying your best to not think too much. So you closed your eyes, exhausted, and concentrated on the warmth that the stranger was giving you and the hold that, while at first it felt overwhelming and suffocating, now it helped. You felt stronger, even though you were about to faint.

So you moved the hand, and it worked.

“Good~ breathe.”

The air filled your lungs little by little, your head began to quiet, and the music entered your ears at a decent volume considering how far you were from the ground. Your hands were cold, they were shaking, but you could move them, and you still couldn't feel your legs, but you could hear the trembling of your breathing and how your nervous system was trying to regulate itself, blocking your crying in your chest.

You were exhausted, god, you would sleep there if you could.

“Better?”

And then you realize.

You know that voice.

It was soft, deep, and in your ear. So close that if you turned to see him, both of you would collide. His hands were bigger than they used to be and softer to the touch, pale on your baby blue dress, no scrapes like you used to heal, he’s no longer biting his nails.

‘Shit’

“Don’t touch me.” You said. He tense.

“If I let you go, you will fall. You're not even holding yourself up.”

He was right. And you hate it.

“What are you doing here.”

Your voice sounded agitated, almost like a whisper. You still didn't dare open your eyes; your eyelids were heavy, and the fear of facing him so close made you delirious. Even though you had your back turned to him, you felt him snort.

“God. You’re welcome?” You clung tighter to his hand. It's just that you got dizzy, and he held you when he felt you give way to the left. “I should ask that. You almost passed out on the railing, idiot, that's… fucked up.”

He calls you an idiot? You were too weak to call him something worse.

So you only say "sorry." Instead, letting him go finally, and you tried to stand up by yourself, but you wobbled

“Okay, okay, please don’t. I’m gonna…” His hands took place on your hips to guide you to some chairs in the corner, which you didn't see at first, of course. You weren't sure if his touch hurt more now that you were more conscious or before, when you were overstimulated. Felt the same, honestly. “Be careful, they look old.” You walked as he commanded, and once you sat down, you heard him say something you couldn't decipher. You finally opened your eyes to ask, but there was no sign of anyone.

Sighing, you rested your head in your hands and closed your eyes again. You didn't know if you were still dizzy and weak or if you felt that way because you were already drunk. They both make sense to you.

You heard noise after a few seconds and looked up. Finally, Yoongi's silhouette appeared in the hallway, he had things in his hands, and he was looking at the glass of water, concentrating so that nothing would fall on the floor.

“I’m definitely too drunk for this.”

This can't be happening to you. Could not.

“I put ice on it, so you can chew. It will help.”

His voice sounded unfriendly to what he was saying. Not angry or indifferent, but rather nervous and tense, as if he were speaking by opening his mouth a little, trying to make you believe that it was no a big deal, as always, but his nervousness didn't allow him to fool you. You raised your eyes to look at his, and he turned them away once you brought them together. You tried to hide a smile as you received the glass. Of course, he couldn't look you in the eyes. He cleared his throat, finally watching you receive the water, trembling in your hold. He tries to hold it from below in case you drop it.

You took a sip.

“Your makeup is smudged.”

Of course. You must have been looking stupid.

“What is that?"

He was offering you something, like toilet paper, but softer on a package. You couldn't see very well, it was just white.

“I’m not really sure.” He confesses. “I take them from the bathroom. They’re damp.”

You touch it with two of your fingers, just to not be rude, honestly.

“Thanks, but I can’t really see myself here.” There was no mirror, and if there was, it was dark. The only lights there were those on the dance floor, which were colored and did not shine directly on the place you two were having this... moment. “I don’t really care though, I’m living soon anyway”

He didn't insist, putting the package in his pocket. You maintained a silence that would have been more awkward if the music downstairs wasn't on, and if you didn't have anything to chew at that moment. Neither of you dared to look at each other, or start a conversation because it wasn't even enough for something cordial. You didn't have the strength to get up and run away, but just when you were going to tell him that you were okay, and he could leave, he took something out of his pocket.

Now you are invested.

“You mind if I smoke?”

You looked at him from there, taking time to process the information. You shook your head slightly, maybe even confused, but there was no point in being.

“Can you even smoke here?”

The place was big but closed, you didn't know if it was allowed.

“I doubt it.”

“Since when do you smoke?” You dared to ask.

“I don’t.”

No, because he hates the smell. His mother has smoked since ever. Yoongi hates that the smell gets stuck in everything and everywhere. No matter how much his mother smoked outside the house, he always ended up with his school clothes smelling like cigarettes. It was inevitable. He always complained.

There you were watching him right now, right in profile, blowing smoke from his cigarette as if he did it every day, even though he said he doesn't. Arms resting on the railing, well-dressed, looking anywhere but at you.

You wanted to stop assuming that this Yoongi was the same one who had left years ago. Because you didn't know, you were both two completely new people, total strangers who knew nothing about each other, yet, you wanted to think that, if that were the case, he would have already left. He usually walks away from what he doesn't care about or doesn't like, that's what he did with you when he left, because that's how you felt. It was nice to believe that he was now there himself because he wanted to be, but it didn't help you to think about it, not now. Just because he was there didn't mean he was back in your life, and as silly as it sounded, your brain didn't understand that. It was your job to stop him from believing something like that.

You chew ice.

“I don’t want to ruin the party for you. Go ahead.” Your voice is still dumb. He was watching the people dancing from there, now he was looking at you, smoking the cigarette between his fingers without understanding what you meant. “I’m feeling better, you can go.”

“Okay.” He directed his body directly towards you. Unintentionally intimidating. “Do you want me to go?”

His presence made you anxious.

“Yes. But if I’m honest, I don’t really want to be alone right now.” He hums. “But I have seven siblings, and all of them are downstairs right now. I can call any of them.”

“They will scold you for not saying anything and me for not seeking help.”

“I know.” He looked at you, quietly. “I just don’t want to... keep you here. Have some fun.”

He shook his head, looking away.

“It’s okay. I was here first, drinking. Then you came. You scared me.”

You blink a few times. “You’ve spent all the night in here?”

“Most of it.” You followed his eyes down on the first floor, full of people. You could see everything from there. If you focused on one person, you could easily track them. “Enough to watch you dance and get drunk.”

“Creep.” He smiles a little.

“That’s why I wasn’t sure it was you. I went to get my whiskey, and I swear I saw you two minutes before taking a shot of tequila. I thought you were just drunk.”

You frowned, settling into the couch. You felt genuinely bad.

“Now I’m scared. For real.”

“Not intentional. I can literally watch my brother kiss Eun from here every five minutes, even if I don’t want to.” Yoongi plays with his ice, then drinks the rest in one go.

You gulped.

Thinking about it more was counterproductive for your mental health, you knew it, you understood it, it was practically self-sabotage, but right now, you gave yourself perhaps ten seconds to admire the beauty that Min Yoongi carried all by himself.

He looked so different, and everything that had changed elevated his beauty to places... god. You had met at a very young age too, in years, you could also say that you had changed enough to be mentioned at some point by a family member who hadn't seen you in a while, for example. You are an adult now, but it was impressive.

To think that you stopped seeing Yoongi right when he was being built into an idol says a lot. Everything about him looked expensive and well cared for, his soft hair, smooth skin, long eyelashes, immaculate hands, as if they were not obliged to do anything that would harm them. How his throat moved as the drink passed into his system, the lack of reaction of his features despite being strong, and having drunk almost half of the short glass.

The feeling that rose to your stomach made you come back, and from well-being, it turned into discomfort in your chest. He was there, he looked so attractive, and you couldn't do anything.

You couldn’t hug him, tell him how much you missed him and hit him nonstop because even when you’re still so into him, you were hurt too, and this situation was so out of your hands.

“I’d liked your speech. It was good.”

You wanted to tell him that you hadn't done it alone, but why would you do that? You didn't answer.

“You’re still writing?”

This time, you denied it almost instinctively. The truth is, you didn't want to give additional information to, in a way, a stranger, but you had already screwed up. “No. A long time ago I-“ stopped when you left, but of course you kept quiet.

When it was about Yoongi and whether you thought about the young you who loved that person in front of you so much and how dependent you were on someone who didn't care how you felt, it made you feel so stupid. And it didn't really make sense because you were young and inexperienced, and you had an important bond, so of course you will be hurt, you had more compassion than resentment. But still,

“-just don’t do it anymore.”

You didn't want to feel that weak again. He nodded.

“Why haven't you left if you don't want to be here?” You changed the topic. You weren't looking at him, but you felt his attention return to you, and he responded with his silence, then you looked up, and he avoided you again. “You're still not a party guy?” He didn't respond again, knowing that you knew the answer, so you smiled. “Yeah, you weren't either back then.” You say that just for yourself.

“I want to, though. Hyung it’s happy, and I haven't seen my family in a long time. My dad told me he was waiting for my wedding too. I stayed so maybe the event convinced me.”

“Your dad?” He nodded in disbelief as well. “That doesn’t sound like your dad. And also, the event?” A snort left your mouth as he looked at you, nodding. “ I don’t think it’s just about the event, you know?”

“Yeah. He told me that too.”

You laughed this time. You like that men.

“That doesn’t sound like him either.”

“I know.”

You missed Yoongi’s parents. They were so different from yours.

“You were, I remember.”

“What.”

“A party person. I always went with you and watched you dance because I didn't like it. Then we would leave late and buy ice cream at the convenience store downtown because you always craved some.” You nodded, trying to manage the pain that the memory caused you. “I've never seen you cry in one before.”

You played with the ice that was left, because the question was not directly a question, it was more of a mention, perhaps so as not to ignore what just happened. He knew you wouldn't answer and that you shouldn't either. You wrinkled your nose, uncomfortable.

“Where do you learn all of it?”

Containment, you meant.

“Hm.” He took a second. “These ten years have been interesting.” A laugh, and you try your best again. “I saw a member of our staff do it to Jungkook once, the first time. We were very young, but I’ve never forgotten it in case it happened again. It happened a couple of times after that, so I… know.”

And it's as if the anguish you had come back to you once you touched where his hands were for the first time in 10 years, and you had to close your eyes just because you felt upset. You didn't want to be there, you remembered. Not only because you didn't want to see him, but because you didn't feel well, and you put him over your emotions again.

Fucking hell.

“Your brother it’s looking for you.” You nodded, opening your eyes slightly.

“Of course he is…” you murmured, overwhelmed, trying to stand up. But you were feeling bad again, so you waited a little.

“Do you want me to-“

“No.”

You didn't know why you were so angry all of a sudden. Your heart was beating again, you started to feel warm even though the place was quite cold because of how big it was, and you were actually grateful that they cared about you, but you had spent all those months feeling like a burden to others.

You tried not to cause too many problems, you didn't want that kind of attention, especially after having been living alone, away from your family for so long, to live with them again. You went from making your own food to your mother having to sit next to you so you could eat something. From leaving early to work to not even knowing what time it was. From calling them to tell them good things, to having to pretend to sleep so as not to receive questions you didn't want to answer. You couldn't take care of yourself, it was something that you were having a hard time facing, because you wanted to do it, to be well so as not to be the burden of your family, but the pain you had was still just as big, and heavy, and it enveloped your entire chest. Squeezing. It didn't let you swallow, speak, cry, or breathe.

You were crying again. This time in silence, you didn't care that Yoongi was watching you in silence too, not knowing what to do.

"Where's the… dump thing you bought.”

He reacted a little slowly but quickly, searching for it, taking it out of his jacket pocket. You nodded.

“Can you clean my face, please? I don’t want to look like this when he finds me, and he will if I go to the bathroom right now.”

That one seemed to get him out of somewhere, because it did take him longer to process the information. He was standing with the towels in his hand and blinking, almost like a cat, a confused one. He didn't say anything, and you didn't think you had said anything wrong, so you got scared, and you wondered if maybe you, in fact, said something wrong.

“I can try, though. You don’t-“

“I’ll do it.”

He sits on the coffee table in front of you. You can smell his strong and manly cologne, and if you raised your eyes to his face enough, you could see him up close, closer than you had for many years again. Older, smelling that way, his marked features but you didn't. Of course not.

You close your eyes.

The two of you were silent, and it took you a few minutes to begin to feel the softness with which he ran over your face, the left side of your cheek, extremely light, almost afraid to touch you. You opened your eyes, and he wasn't looking where he was supposed to clean.

He looked at your face, carefully, perhaps making sure it was really you who was in front of him. He stopped his hand when your eyes connected, and it lasted only a few seconds, but you felt so much tension that you even doubted if it was wrong for you to pretend as if you didn't have things to talk about, before having any kind of contact. Whatever it was.

After that, he looked at you with pity.

The last one that night, you decide.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

You were stronger than him when it came to holding a gaze. He has always been the first to escape, which is why your gaze was very intense, heavy, and powerful. You could do it because you felt it was the most honest way to know if someone could handle you.

“Sorry.”

Yoongi had never been able to look at you for more than five seconds.

He resumed his work with the same smoothness. The music returned to your ears, and you returned to your place, to your life, to the now and to how your body was screaming to get out of there. You closed your eyes, chest tight and hands tense, trying to control their shaking.

You have bigger things to cry about right now than this. You had done it for a long time now; you had no more tears to cry for Min Yoongi, no reason to be nervous anymore, and no reason why you couldn't live in peace anymore.

“I’m sorry about Kija.” His voice was smooth, almost lullaby. He sounds nervous too, and just because of that, your response was also automatic. If it had been genuine, you would have had another panic attack right there.

“It’s okay.”

‘You are grieving. Don't expect anything better. Let us help you’

They were all grieving too.

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t- I didn’t know.”

There. Was there when you wanted to scream and punch him so hard enough to make him feel guilty.

“What do you mean.” To be honest, it doesn't even surprise you. You sensed it, but you had the small hope that he saw it… at least. “I texted you. Jae- he give me your number. I was waiting for you at his funeral.”

“Y/N…”

“It’s okay.”

You said instead. Yoongi looked terrified.

“I-“ he cut himself. “…was-“

You take his hand softly, stopping him. “It’s okay, Yoongi.”

“Wait.” One of his hands is on your wrist, preventing you from getting up. You didn't feel good, but you would do anything to get out of there. Still, you sat back down because you didn’t expect it.

“I’m sorry.”

Three.

The only thing you could hear was your heart beating; everything went quiet, and the words went away, an echo.

“It’s” You were far enough away to miss his scent or to see his new appearance. It was as if he disappeared into the darkness. “okay.”

And it was okay, not because that was exactly how it was, but because it didn't matter. It was okay because it didn't matter if he responded or not, he didn't have to. You were the one who was doing wrong by continuing to trust someone who had already failed you many times, and now you were choosing not to fall for anything sure.

It was okay, because there was no important bond that bonded you two, and allowed you to do bad things where there was nothing good to destroy.

And it was okay, because you simply didn't want to continue having him in front of you, talking about one of the most important people in your life, and seeing how he looked at you with pity. So it was okay.

But Yoongi had said sorry three times that day, and he hadn't been able to genuinely fix any of them.

—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________

teaser masterlist two

—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________

#yoongi au #yoongi fic #bts fic #yoongi smut #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #yoongi angst #bts headcanons #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #yoongi series #min yoongi #slow burn

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interesting-interludes · 11 months

Text

the comforts of creatures (5)

creature comforts:

↳ material/bodily comforts, such as food, warmth, or special accommodations, that contribute to physical ease and well-being

→ pairing: ot7 x fem.reader

→ genre: supernatural!au, soulmate!au, hurt + comfort + recovery, angst with a happy ending, fluff, eventual smut

→ word count: 4.8k

→ summary: you learn what you are, and your reaction is far from what they expected. as they try to help you feel safe, the boys learn about your triggers, and they try their hardest to help in any way they can.

→ trigger/content warnings: PTSD (self-loathing, mistrust, flashbacks/nightmares) effects of brainwashing, lil’ bit of lore, overt and internalized racism/species-ism (?), vomiting, anxiety, mentions of starvation/food poisoning, mentions of physical abuse, dissociation, mentions of torture, aversion to touch, mc pushes jimin but he’s okay, jimin is an angel, facial/body scars, body dysmorphia/repulsion

→ a/n: thank y’all for your patience :) here’s some more hurt before the comfort lol

past part ← series masterlist → next part

part 5: scars and soothers

“This is you.”

The man is pointing at a detailed image drawn in faded ink. The rest of the page is filled with scripted text and anatomical diagrams.

You can’t look at first, scared of what you’ll find.

When you finally do, you don’t know what to think. There’s the thought that he’s kidding, he’s lying. He can’t be serious.

The drawing is of a creature with tawny-feathered wings extending magnificently in the air. It has the body of a powerful big cat, muscular yet elegant. Its four legs end in sharp-taloned feet. Its neck is framed by a golden mane, looking like a big frilly collar. The mane’s trail travels down the creature’s chest and back, ending in a flowing tail. It has the face of a lion, with white whiskers and deep yellow eyes, yet the regal posture of an eagle.

A diagram off to the left shows the inside of its mouth, lined with row upon row of sharp teeth and protruding fangs.

Looking back up, you search the faces of the men around you. None of them appear to be joking.

You can’t speak.

You’re one of them, one of the creatures they all despised. The creatures that roam the wild lands for easy prey, spreading carnage wherever they go.

No wonder they hated you so much. You’re not even human.

A few silent, involuntary tears fall from your eyes, which are locked back on the page. You wipe them away hastily.

The boys don’t know how to react, all looking at each other with concern.

“What...” you squeak out, voice choked. “What is it?”

“A gryffin,” Yoongi replies. “You’re a shifter.”

Something gurgles in your stomach. You clench your teeth, nails digging deep into the meat of your thighs.

You believe him. You don’t want to, but you believe him. You’ve always felt less than human, like something wasn’t right about you. Like something was just beneath the surface, clawing its way up.

Now you know why.

Jungkook, who’s sitting closest to you, slowly, cautiously puts his hand on your shoulder in an effort to comfort you.

But you flinch at his touch, jerking away.

You don’t catch the look of hurt that flits across his face. He knows you can’t help it, but it still stings to think that his touch physically repels you.

“What did they tell you about atypicals?” Namjoon presses, trying to shift your attention so you won’t look so disheartened by the reality of what you are.

From the way you look at him, he knows that you’ve never heard that word before. Or at least you don’t remember it.

“Atypicals are anything that falls out of the humanic species,” he explains patiently.

Your face scrunches in confusion.

“Humanic as in human,” he elaborates.

You don’t understand why he’s talking like that. You’ve never heard these terms before. In the place you came from, the “facility,” anything that wasn’t human was an abomination, a mistake in the eyes of nature.

Simple as that.

But here, things seem to be a bit more complicated.

Nausea is starting to bubble in your gut. You breathe carefully through your nose as you consider Namjoon’s question.

“They said...” you begin hesitantly.

They’re all on the edge of their seats, desperately wondering what those bastards brainwashed you to believe about their kind, your own kind.

“They said that they were monsters.”

Another pang of hurt thrums through their hearts.

“That...that they deserved to be hunted down like dogs.”

They can hear the pain in your own voice, either from witnessing their cruel behavior, or from realizing that you’ve been the target of it this whole time.

Your stomach churns.

“They said I wasn’t even worthy to lick the ground they walked on.”

They can all hear you choking on your tears, despite your attempts to hide it.

Jimin and Jungkook feel like their chests are going to burst from holding it in, both the sorrow they feel for you and the urge to rush forward and drown you in affection.

Jin and Namjoon have storms raging inside their heads. Namjoon is calculating, trying to decode what exactly their motive was and how to use it to track down the ones in charge of it all. Jin’s mind is reeling with ways to undo the damage they’ve done, mentally and physically.

Yoongi is swimming waist-deep in despair. He can’t help but think of what’s to come. You’ll have to relearn everything. How to shift, how to fight, how to cast. That is, if you even want to.

You feel the newly strung tension in the air, looking like you just realized you said all of those things out loud.

One look around the room, and your newly found voice retreats deep into your throat.

The man called Namjoon, his eyes have darkened, jaw clenched and ticking like he’s grinding his teeth.

The one who tended to your wounds is sitting stiffly in his chair, staring ahead with a new sharpness in his face.

The small dark-haired man has his hands clenched, prominent veins crawling up his arms.

You duck your head down, body stiff with nerves.

“You have to know,” Yoongi begins, voice calm as ever despite the rage just below the surface. “That’s not how most people think. Especially not here.”

Here in the North Regions, atypicals make up the majority of the population. Law enforcement, government, and public works are largely run by them, and prejudice is rarely an issue.

But how could you know that now?

They can all see the change. It’s almost instantaneous, the way your face shifts and loses all semblance of emotion. Just like that, the mask is back up.

Then there’s something else. A slight twitch from your nose, a well-hidden shudder. They can see your throat bobbing.

For a few seconds, it looks like you’re about to say something. Your tongue is moving inside your mouth, and you’re blinking rapidly.

Namjoon is about to utter some gentle encouragement, but a jolt racks through your body, making you hunch over.

All of a sudden you’re vomiting up everything you just ate.

Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin can’t help but jump to their feet, panicked noises filling the air.

Taehyung’s eyes widen. All his limbs go rigid, paralyzing him in his seat. He feels sick himself.

Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi all look at each other.

Yoongi thrusts into action, heading to the kitchen with Jungkook in tow since he isn’t good around pungent-smelling things.

Namjoon starts giving instructions. Jimin, paper towels. Hobi, get the mop. Said men jolt into action, scrambling to do whatever they can to help.

Jin’s eyes have been fixed on you for some time now, catching your every move, including all the suppressed flinches and tremors.

He’s at your side in an instant, on his knees to try to catch your eyes. But it’s no use, you’re squeezing your eyes shut like you’re expecting to be hit.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he mutters in his gentlest voice. “It’s no big deal. No one is upset with you.”

As much as he wants to, he refrains from touching you right away.

Eyes still tightly shut, you flinch away from the sound of his voice, twitching with anxiety.

Jin can see you start to spiral, so he does the only thing he knows will work.

“Hey,” he begins, voice firmer than it was before. “Look at me.”

Your eyes snap open, shining with moisture.

“That’s my girl,” Jin says before he can help it. “You’re going to calm down for me, yeah?”

Your eyes desperately search his face, looking for any sign of anger or deception. You find none, not even a hint of disgust, and your breathing starts to slow.

All that’s there is the man who tended to your wounds, watching you with those patient eyes. His handsome face is calm, attentively anticipating whatever you need right now.

Sweat gathers on your skin. That same sensation crawls up your throat, saliva pooling in your mouth.

Jin notices the signs immediately.

“Come with me,” he orders softly, putting a light hand on your back and leading you to the nearest bathroom.

You don’t know what to do with yourself.

You remember vomiting a few times at the facility. Once from eating a rotten vegetable, the mold making it impossible to identify. And once when a handful of keepers had held you down, repeatedly punching you in the stomach, until you gave in and called yourself a mutt.

Both times you were severely punished for making a mess. You learned to hold it in your mouth and swallow it down after that.

Jin guides you to kneel over the toilet. He keeps talking to you, but you only process half of what he’s saying.

“Go ahead, let it out,”

You can feel it creeping up, burning and sour. But something deeper, something almost instinctual, tells you to keep it down.

“Stop holding it in, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “It’s not good for you. It’s okay to let go.”

Before you can think to suppress it, another wave of nausea surges through your body. The crescendo of it makes you wretch, emptying the last of your stomach’s contents.

“Good, good, just get it all out,” he encourages instead of beating you until you can’t breathe.

The bile is bitter in your mouth, but not more bitter than the dread clinging to your entire being.

He’s not going to punish me, you finally realize. It’s almost an impossible thought.

For a moment, you stay hunched over, frozen. Not sure what to do next.

“Here, come wash your mouth out,” Jin says, helping you stand up on shaky legs.

The sound of running water rings in your ears. You feel the coolness against your tongue, but barely register that you’re the one cupping it to your lips. Numb. You feel like you’re controlling your body from the outside rather than the inside.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”

You look up at him for the first time in a while. His face is as kind as it was before, with the same full-lipped smile and warm brown eyes.

The man starts to lead you out of the room, that same gentle hand resting on your back.

It isn’t until then that you realize you’re still in the grimy clothes they found you in. And now the entire front of your shirt is stained with even more filth.

You glance into the living room as you pass through the hallway.

The other men are diligently cleaning the area you just soiled. The small dark-haired man and the muscular man are missing, though you can hear rustling from the kitchen.

The one with the jet black hair and bright face catches your eye, flashing a reassuring smile. It makes you rip your eyes away.

Jin guides you into the living room, and everyone immediately looks your way.

Shrinking, you’re shrinking into yourself as much as your body will allow.

“Someone run a bath,” Jin announces. “I think it’s time our little guest got some sleep in clean clothes.”

The fair-haired one steps forward and exchanges a subtle look with Jin, who’s standing slightly behind you.

“Would you follow me?” the shorter man says, holding out his hand.

It’s the one with the silver-gray hair and warm eyes. You think his name is Jimin. His face is soft and friendly. It asks a silent question: will you trust me?

You don’t take his hand, but you do take a step up the stairs in the direction he’s leading you.

You don’t catch it, but Jimin and Jin exchange a heartfelt glance, nearly ecstatic at the fact that you’re beginning to trust them.

Jimin leads you up the stairs as the rest of them settle things downstairs.

When you reach the top, he guides you down a spacious hallway that’s filled with potted plants and window light.

Every single door, down to the very end of the hall, is open. Whether it’s open wide or just a crack, not one of them is closed or locked. You’re not used to it.

The man, Jimin, stops at a door halfway down the hall and looks back to check if you’re still following him.

You stop a few feet away from him, still keeping your distance, but your expression is open and neutral, waiting on his next move.

He gives you a calm smile, and continues into the room with you behind him.

This room is just as bright and inviting as the rest of the house. White walls and clean tile floors, but this time with a large porcelain tub and a sink with marble countertops.

The man turns to look at you with a question in his eyes.

“Shower or bath?” he asks.

It’s a harmless question, a considerate question. But your mind is yanked back to that place.

Shower. A torrent of fire raining down on you, vision blinded by steam. It comes from every angle, unrelenting no matter how much you scream.

They would strip you down and lock you in a metal stall the size of a coffin. Then the dotted ceiling would unleash a downpour of near-boiling water.

You would bang on the walls, but the water made the metal surface just as hot, the floor burning the bottom of your feet. Minutes or hours they kept you in there, not letting you out until your body was covered in burn marks.

Bath. The most intense cold you’ve ever felt. It’s everywhere, submerging you up to the neck, seeping down to your very bones.

They would chain you down in a tub full of ice, nothing but your head poking out of the frigid water. The cold chains cut into your skin the more you struggled. Your lungs would heave from the shock of it, your whole body shivering violently.

Then they would hold your head underwater until you were bucking like a stuck pig. This went on until you were utterly exhausted, falling limp against the freezing porcelain with nothing but the tight chains holding you up.

You’re snapped back to reality when the man takes a step closer. He’s watching you closely, trying to read your face.

Finally remembering that he asked you a question, you shrug your shoulders and shake your head.

You don’t want either. You don’t want to be anywhere near that tub. You want him to leave you alone.

Jimin guesses that the gesture means you don’t care which one. He figures you’re most likely still weak from malnourishment, and he doesn’t want you fainting and hitting your head.

So he opts for a bath, turning on the faucet. He sits on the edge of the tub, hand under the spout to monitor the temperature.

The sound of running water makes every muscle in your body tense up. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

It’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt. The fire, the ice, it’s going to burn and sting and cut into your flesh. You won’t be able to escape it.

Jimin doesn’t notice it at first, too focused on adjusting the knobs to get the water not too hot and not too cold, but your breathing has picked up again.

You can already feel it filling your ears, your mouth, rushing down your throat as your head is held down. Your skin prickles from the heat, it quivers from the cold.

The water in the tub continues to rise, and you can’t move. Your body is frozen, feet rooted to the floor as the sound of sloshing roars louder and louder in your ears.

Halfway full, now. It’s coming any second. He’s going to turn on you, throw you down and hold you under.

Burning, freezing. It’ll hurt and hurt and hurt.

Jimin turns his head, and his stomach drops.

Your eyes are squeezed shut, lips pursed like you’re trying to bite back a scream. Fists clenched at your sides, shoulders trembling, as your chest heaves up and down.

Immediately, he jumps to his feet and rushes over to you.

“What is it, babe? What’s wrong?”

Then he makes a big mistake. He puts his hands on you.

His touch is gentle, nonthreatening, nothing but two hands on your shoulders. But you don’t want it, you’re repulsed by it. Because touch always comes before the pain.

On instinct, your body jerks away, arms moving to push the unwelcome touch away, just get it away. Your hands collide against something, hard.

When you open your eyes, the man is on the floor. Sprawled on his back, looking up at you with wide, slightly watery eyes.

There’s shock plastered on both of your faces.

Jimin’s soft heart hurts a little, he can’t help it. In all the years he’s known you, loved you, you’ve never ever been repelled by him. But that hurt is soon drowned by guilt.

He scared you, he made you feel unsafe. You felt the need to protect yourself and it’s his fault.

You’re staring at your hands in horror, completely floored by what you’ve done. You’re in for it now. He tried to help you and you hurt him. Now they’re going to hurt you even more.

Several sets of pounding footsteps draw near. The others must have heard the thud from downstairs and rushed up to see what was wrong.

What they don’t expect to find is Jimin crumpled on the floor and you standing over him in a braced position, but that’s exactly what they see when they peer through the doorway.

They’re all a little astonished, Jin and Namjoon are thinking deeply, and something in Taehyung’s eyes shifts.

He isn’t proud of it, but a surge of protectiveness washes over him, for his Jimin. He knows it’s unreasonable, unfair even. But it’s still there. And he can’t snuff it out.

A new fear consumes you. You were insubordinate, you resisted. You know what comes next.

A sob gets trapped in your throat as you sink down to the floor, burying your head in-between your knees and using your arms to shield yourself.

Immediately, the same way Jimin did, they all rush forward to comfort you.

“No!” Jimin blurts out, making you flinch and shake violently. “Don’t touch, give her some space.”

They all obey, keeping their distance with concern flooding their features.

Jimin shifts onto his knees, scooting a little closer but still keeping enough away.

“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispers, like he’s talking to a wild, cornered animal. “It was my fault entirely. I shouldn’t have touched you. I’m truly sorry.”

Jimin’s voice has always been soothing, even in the darkest times, and your breathing slows a little.

Jimin realizes that the faucet is still running, and he reaches over to switch it off. Then it comes to him.

He turns back to your trembling form, still waiting for the pain to come.

“You’re scared of the water, aren’t you?” he asks gently.

He doesn’t expect you to reply, he just wants to let you know that he’s trying to understand you, to help you.

You nod slightly.

It shocks them all again. You’re becoming more responsive.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Jimin says with all the sincerity he can muster. “It’s not your fault. I promise I won’t do that again.”

Your shoulders gradually stop trembling, breath coming evenly now.

Jimin looks at his mates and gestures for them to give you some more space so you can calm down.

They all do as he says, except Tae. He lingers in the doorway, his piercing eyes flickering between you and Jimin, thinking.

The two men exchange a meaningful glance. Jimin gives him a reassuring smile and nods his head as if to say “There’s nothing to worry about. I got this.”

Tae gives a slight nod back and turns to leave, throwing one last look at you.

Jimin sees the hint of distrust hidden in that look. He files it away for later.

Turning his attention back to you, Jimin looks at the tub and thinks of a solution.

“You don’t have to get in the tub, okay? We can just...” Jimin opens the cupboard under the sink and takes out a handful of washcloths.

“Like this, see?” He dips one of the cloths in the water, using it to wipe down his face.

“Is that okay?” he asks.

You scan his face. Those big brown eyes are full to the brim with kindness, as if you didn’t just hurt him moments ago.

You nod.

Jimin smiles so big it almost hurts his cheeks, heart swelling as you hesitantly hold your hand open. He puts another cloth in your waiting palm.

“Okay, here’s the soap, shampoo, conditioner. You can wash your face with this. Use whatever you want, okay?”

You look at him, trying to convey with your eyes what your mouth can’t say. He stays there for a moment, sitting with you on the tile, answering your every question with just his expression.

It’s okay. You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you. You can trust me. I understand you.

Breaking from his reverie, Jimin gets up and moves to leave.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” he says, swinging the door closed.

You shoot forward and grab the knob just before it shuts.

Jimin jumps a little, whipping back around. There’s confusion on his face, then understanding.

“Okay, we’ll leave it open just like this. I’ll be just outside if you need anything, okay?”

You feel the tension release from your chest, and nod back.

Another warm smile, and then he disappears into the next room.

He’s not going to lock you in. Another impossible realization.

Turning around, you stare at the full tub. Your heartbeat skitters a little, but you take a step towards it anyways.

When you dip your fingertips in the clear water, you expect it to be scalding, or cold enough to numb, but it’s neither. The water is warm and calm, it doesn’t burn, it doesn’t sting.

Another breath releases from your lungs.

You use the cloth and soap to wipe down your whole body, shedding your dirty clothes and tossing them aside. Soon the tub is cloudy from the dirt on the washcloth. You even dip your hair into the water and use a little shampoo to get some of the grime out.

You sit there and wash yourself until the water turns cold. Using the counter to steady yourself, you slowly come to a stand, even though your legs are aching.

The sight in front of you is enough to shock you into silence again.

You can’t remember the last time you saw your reflection. You wish you weren’t seeing it now.

The person in the mirror is ugly and pathetic. Her short hair is a mangled mess. Haphazardly cut with a pair of dull scissors, it sticks out in all different angles. Her eyes are blank and lifeless, red-rimmed and surrounded by dark circles. There’s a large, hideous scar across her left cheek, deep and forked like a flash of lightning.

Her body is weak and repulsive. Slouching forward, she’s barely able to hold herself up. She’s covered in scars and marks, all over her legs, her arms, her torso.

You know there are worse scars behind you.

Horrifically entranced, you slowly reach up to touch the scar across her face, your face. Your fingertips meet the textured tissue, and then there’s the pain.

It’s not a physical pain, it doesn’t originate from the scar itself. It’s a pain deep in your chest, spreading and infecting the rest of your body. It maims you, twists your insides, disfigures your soul.

You muffle the silent scream with a hand over your mouth. Knees buckling, you barely have any strength left to keep yourself upright.

You’re barely you. You don’t remember who you were before, but you know it wasn’t this.

A gentle knock on the door.

You immediately stifle any signs of discomfort, snapping the mask back on with frightening accuracy.

Jimin’s arms poke through the gap in the door. He sets a bundle of clothes on the counter.

“Here you go," his pleasant voice says. “Please let me know if they’re comfortable enough.”

You wait a good twenty seconds before you reach for them. A warm green sweater and soft cotton pants.

You hurriedly slip them on to hide your disgusting body.

Leaning closer to the door, you try to hear beyond the wood. Hushed voices, muted footsteps.

“Ready, love?” a smooth voice sounds from just behind the door.

You flinch away, trying your best to make your hair look less unkempt.

It’s Jin who cautiously swings the door open, greeting you with an affectionate smile.

“Much better, hmm?” he says.

You manage a curt nod, following him with your head down to another room.

It’s the room from earlier, the one with the massive bed. The rest of them are here waiting, muttering quiet words until you arrive. Then they go silent and set their eyes on you, asking a question you can’t understand.

Why are they all looking at you? You don’t like it, not at all. People who look like them shouldn’t look at someone like you. You’re wrong, inside and out.

They all notice the change. Now your eyes are trained on the ground, head bent and shoulders folding in on yourself like you wish you would disappear.

Jin ushers you towards the humongous bed, encouraging you to settle in under the covers. He tucks the comforter around your body, fluffing the pillows behind your head.

“There, nice and cozy,” he says, sounding satisfied for the time being. “Rest up, okay love? You’ve been through a lot.”

Why are they talking to you like that? You’re disgusting. They should be throwing you out on the streets to fend for yourself like a common rat.

The small dark-haired man kneels down next to you. He hands you a mug of steaming amber liquid, using the bed sheets to shield your hands from the hot surface.

“This should settle your stomach,” he says.

While Jimin was getting you cleaned up, Yoongi and Jungkook were hard at work cooking up a tincture for your nausea. Essence of lavender to help you sleep, peppermint to refresh your throat, a little ginger to ease your stomach, and some of Yoongi’s highest-quality potions to replenish your nutrients. And, of course, Jin stirred in a copious amount of honey to sweeten it up.

You hold the cup in your hands like it’s a ticking time bomb.

Yoongi looks at his mates in confusion and concern, not sure what to do. Jimin catches his gaze, and gestures wildly with his hands. He exaggeratedly mimics holding the cup and taking a sip, and then Yoongi understands.

He gently takes the mug from your hands and holds it up to his nose.

“Let me check if it’s too hot for you,” he says, blowing off some of the steam and taking a long sip. He makes sure to swallow with audible emphasis.

“Okay, it should be good,” he says, handing it back to you.

This time you hold it close to your chest like it’s a precious gem, slowly sipping away at the frothy liquid.

They all look at each other with a relieved, triumphant expression.

Namjoon steps forward and leans down to level his face with yours.

“There’s water for you over there,” he gestures to a table in the corner, complete with a pitcher and cup. “And the bathroom is the next door over.”

You nod to show your appreciation, still avoiding eye contact.

Jin enters your field of vision again.

“Do you think you can hold down some meds?” he asks. It’s sincere, no seeming deception behind it.

But you still shake your head vehemently. You don’t want anymore pills. In fact, you don’t want to see another pill ever in your life.

“Okay, love,” he says, smiling again. “Just rest up for me. For us.”

You have no idea what he means by that, but you sink into the pillows anyway.

One by one they filter out of the room, casting a last look at you before they leave.

You wish they wouldn’t. Their eyes seem to leave even more marks on your skin.

The door starts to swing shut. Then someone mutters something, and it stops just before it closes completely.

Footsteps recede, silence settles upon the room.

You manage a few more sips from the steaming mug, eventually setting it aside. The bed is soft and comfortable, but you can’t bring yourself to lie down.

You sit there, watching shadows dart across the wall, for hours.

a/n: thanks so much for reading!! if you enjoyed it please leave a comment on what you thought of the story/any questions it would mean the world to me!! and if you’re feeling extra generous, please reblog with tags it helps to spread the story around, thank you!! 💖

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taexual · 8 months

Text

sleepwalking ● 5 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, suggestive themes, mutual pining, SLOW BURN

words: 6.9k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 5 ► oh, and, my love, did i mistake you for a sign from god? or are you really here to cast me off?

Your train reached Paris at almost exactly eight o’clock in the evening and the rain was pouring. The wedding reception had started at seven, but Jungkook didn’t mind being late, even though the longer he lingered with you on the streets, the more the rain ruined your outfits, and your hair, and your make-up—but not your mood.

“I prefer being late,” he said when the two of you caught a cab from Gare du Nord to the wedding venue in the 8th arrondissement. “Less small talk if you show up when everyone’s already said hello to everyone.”

“I see your point,” you said, sliding over the backseat as Jungkook climbed in after you. “But it’s still rude to be late. Especially to a wedding. Especially when you weren’t even going to come to said wedding at all.”

He gave the driver the address and turned to you, resuming the conversation, because he had a very important point to make, “my grandma used to say that as long as I’m not late to my own wedding, I’m fine.”

You snorted at this, but your expression wasn’t mocking. You remembered his grandmother with nothing but love. Thoughtfully, you replied, “she’s a wise woman.”

“She is, yeah,” he agreed. “She always wanted to go to Paris, by the way. Remind me to call her.”

“That’s nice,” you commented, turning to the window as the streets of Paris passed outside, all in a blur of streetlights, reflected in puddles of rain on the pavement. “I think I’ve always wanted to come here as well.”

This surprised him and he paused in the middle of reaching for his phone. He’d already forgotten what he was going to check on it as he looked back at you again. When he spoke, there were minor notes of offence in his voice.

“You did?” he asked. “You never told me.”

“Yeah,” you said, not meeting his eye—you were far too captivated by the rainy streets outside the car window. They were nothing magical on their own, you supposed, but there was something about them tonight in particular. “I don’t know. It’s not my dream destination, but it’s Paris. Can you say you’ve travelled if you’ve never been here?”

Jungkook thought about it. “Well… I mean—there are other cities, too. Isn’t Paris a bit overrated?”

“Maybe.” You shrugged, still glued to the window. “Probably. I’ve still wanted to see it for myself, though.”

He could tell, as he leaned forward until he was able to see the neon lights from the signs outside reflected in your eyes. The taxi ride should have taken about twenty minutes, but now Jungkook wondered if he’d manage to ask the driver to take a longer route without you finding out.

“In that case,” he said finally, “I’m glad I brought you here.”

You turned to give him a look, but were startled by his close proximity. You nearly bumped your cheek into his when you craned your neck.

Realising—from your widening eyes—that he’d entered far into your comfort zone, he scooted back in his seat. But your heart was already giving orders for explosions to go off in various parts of your body.

You cleared your throat and looked back out the window—not because of the view this time, but because it felt safer this way.

“We would have come here eventually anyway,” you said. “You’re performing at Cabaret Sauvage in less than a month.”

Disappointed by your purposefully emotionless voice and words that took all credit away from him, Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“Sure. But,” he emphasized, “with me, you didn’t have to wait a month.”

“Okay,” you settled—partially. “Thank you for turning my whole schedule upside down.”

He smirked at the sarcasm. “Oh, anytime.”

In an attempt to conceal your own smile, you returned your attention to the billboards and bright window displays outside.

“So, if not Paris,” Jungkook started again after a minute, “what is your dream destination?”

He wasn’t expecting your reaction to his question to be so severe: you seemed to lean towards the window—away from him—clench your jaw, and focus even harder on the view outside – as if you were trying to transport yourself there, instead of staying here with him.

“Amsterdam, I think,” you replied eventually, in a voice so reluctant and quiet that he wouldn’t have heard you if he wasn’t literally right next to you.

“Really?” he asked. “I’m assuming it’s not because of weed?”

Smiling somewhat, you shook your head. And then did not elaborate more.

“Anne Frank?” he tried again.

“Maybe,” you said. “But also because of simple things. Not necessarily significant in history.”

Jungkook found himself having to push as if he was trying to find out what your deepest fear was, since you resisted fully opening up. But this was something that, honestly, seemed quite superficial to him, so he was rightfully perplexed.

Still, he asked, “such as?”

You sighed, not having expected—let alone, planned—this exchange to progress that much.

This felt like the start of a long conversation—capital C. Getting to know each other by participating in obligatory small talk that would soon lead to deep analyses of each other’s darker sides of the subconsciousness.

And the last time you and Jungkook had had a proper conversation about something that was not related to your jobs in the slightest, was months before you broke up.

So, it wasn’t that Jungkook was being invasive with his questions right now. It’s that he was personal. And he’d stopped caring about being personal with you long before your relationship ended.

“Like riding bikes in Canal District,” you answered finally—he was glad to hear it, although he did not like the way you sighed as you spoke. As if this conversation was a hassle. Fortunately for his overthinking, you continued, “I’ve wanted to do that ever since my uncle went on a business trip to Amsterdam when I was seven. He’d brought me so many postcards, I could easily imagine myself having been there with him.”

Jungkook stayed quiet. He remembered your uncle—your mother’s brother. He was a surprisingly caring man, even if he looked like he ran the mob.

And Jungkook remembered the postcards, too—you had them pinned to the bulletin board above your desk in your dorm room back in university. He wondered, briefly, why you’d never mentioned the story behind the postcards before. He’d always assumed you just liked the pretty views on them.

Sitting next to you in the taxi, he counted something under his breath.

“We’re going to have,” he started, then calculated again just in case, “three days off in Amsterdam.”

“I know,” you said, sitting up straight in your seat as the taxi took a turn past Palais Garnier. “Believe it or not, I didn’t plan it like that.”

“Let’s say I believe you,” he teased. “Should we go bike riding in Amsterdam?”

You turned away from the window to look at him, surprise evident in your lifted eyebrows. “Us, two?”

He nodded. “Us, two.”

“On your day off?”

“On my day off.”

Not hiding your skepticism, you licked your lips and told him, “Jungkook, you spend your free days getting wasted with your friends.”

Although that was a fair statement – he had to admit that much – he still tried to defend himself, “that—that’s not something I have to do every single time.”

“It’s not?” you asked. “Then why do you do it?”

“Because I usually have nothing better to do,” he replied. His honesty was amplified by his body language: eyes cast low, hands intertwined on his lap.

He hoped you wouldn’t misunderstand—he wasn’t trying to imply that he preferred his friends to you. Or to anyone else, for that matter. Truly, if you would have called, he would have abandoned everyone else in a heartbeat. But he was more comfortable keeping that to himself.

“And riding bikes sounds better than getting drunk?” you asked instead, the question laced with persistent disbelief.

“Riding bikes in Amsterdam,” he corrected, choosing to avoid the mention of you doing it together, “sounds better.”

“Okay,” you said, still not convinced. “You talk now, but let’s see if you change your mind when we’re back on the road.”

“I won’t,” he insisted with newfound confidence. Despite his assuring tone, his gaze still scanned the mat on the floor of the taxi. “I promise I’ll take you bike-riding in Amsterdam.”

Even more surprised now, you waited until he lifted his eyes to meet yours before you repeated, “you promise?”

“Yeah,” he said with a shrug—but the nonchalance was pretend. His hands were tightly pressed into each other on his lap, because otherwise he would have been reaching for you. “Cross my heart. I’ll take you bike-riding if it kills me.”

The exaggeration finally got you to laugh. “Why would it kill you?”

Your laugh had broken the spell. He felt himself relax as though something heavy had been lifted off of him, and with you laughing next to him, he was as light as the air around you. Nothing could crush him.

“You never know with bikes,” he replied, smiling, too. “I’m just saying, I’ll make it happen for you.”

After a detour down the Champs-Elysées under the tiny compact umbrella that you’d packed (it was still so beautiful with all the lights around—even more so in the rain), you finally arrived at the wedding, which was already in full swing.

It took the newlyweds a good fifteen minutes to notice you and Jungkook, but you wouldn’t have blamed them if they didn’t approach you at all.

As soon as they did, however, you immediately tried to apologise for being late—both, tonight and in general, considering that the two of you were only added to the guest list for the wedding a few days ago. But Kihyun and Chloé cut you off, both joking that they were just glad you made it here, because they had thought you’d gotten lost in Paris.

“I sort of wish,” Jungkook replied, casting a meaningful glance your way—you pretended not to see it. “But no time to get lost when we have an important wedding to get to.”

Your friends smiled at this, accepted your congratulations, and, instead of returning to the rest of their guests, actually stayed to catch up with you—as if this wasn’t their wedding. As if you were back in university, eating ice cream on the quad benches with all of your mutual friends, and fighting off the campus pigeons.

You had to admit, seeing Kihyun and Chloé again was very nice. You’d always considered them Jungkook’s friends more than your own—all three of them had graduated from the same major, even though you had quickly become Chloé’s class-skipping partner—but they were the one pair of his friends that you’d always approved of and, eventually, befriended, too.

Seeing them newly married, however—while you could still remember that one almost tragic double-date that you’d tried to go on, where Jungkook and Kihyun nearly broke their necks, racing on Vespas—now that felt overwhelming.

“You’re right on time, by the way,” Chloé said to you while the two boys discussed Rated Riot’s upcoming tour dates, seemingly attempting to make plans to meet up again, after the pair would return from their honeymoon. “I was just about to toss the bouquet.”

“Oh, I’m not—”

“Come on,” she grabbed your wrist, pulling you away from Jungkook.

You glanced back at him for help, but he only grinned at you, like he’d done so many times before, when you’d go to parties together and he’d force you out of your comfort zone, because he knew you’d thank him for this later.

You weren’t sure if you’d be grateful for it this particular time, though, as you found yourself in a crowd of bridesmaids and very drunk guests within fifteen minutes of arriving at this wedding.

You looked around and, with a sudden start, you recalled the reason why you were here in the first place.

Bending your neck to take in the people around you, you tried to guess which person in this wedding, could have been the hypothetical ex that you still didn’t think really existed.

There was no one who could have been it.

You’ve met most of the people here before and none of them looked particularly eager to talk to Jungkook or to avoid him. Everyone was indifferent—except you, as you kept looking back at him to find him already watching you every time—and that was the final confirmation.

There really was no ex.

You had no idea why he’d brought you here.

Distracted by your thoughts, you chose to just stand in the middle of the crowd. As you tried to avoid having your feet stepped on, you brought a hand through your hair. You liked crowds at concerts. You didn’t like crowds of very determined wedding guests.

Never having caught a drumstick or a single guitar pick at any of the concerts you’d gone to in your whole life, you felt rather stupid standing there. And the significance of catching the bride’s bouquet was lost on you, too—you’d never believed in the prediction that whoever caught it would be next to walk down the aisle: your mum had told you she’d caught it three separate times, and she had barely been married once.

You heard Chloé count down backwards from three and you extended your hands above your head; more as a protective instinct than anything else—to avoid getting smacked on the head.

By some harrowing chance, almost as soon as Chloé’s countdown finished, you felt the stems of flowers against your palm and clutched at them, reflexively. You heard claps and excited cheers around you before you registered that you’d caught the bouquet.

Lowering the classic, white rose combination, tied with a neat, pale bow, you swallowed and looked around, unable to conceal your overwhelming discomfort as you listened to earnest applause around you.

This felt embarrassing more than anything else. Irrationally so, of course, but embarrassing, nonetheless: like walking into an empty restaurant and interrupting the conversation of the staff. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you, and there were drunken shrieks of elation somewhere in the room.

You realised as you held the flowers awkwardly—like it was a bomb meant to be defused—that this was why you preferred to work backstage.

“I’m so glad it was you!” you heard Chloé exclaim. You turned to see her clapping her hands as she made her way towards you.

A few women you’d never met hugged you as if you were going to your own wedding as soon as this one was over.

You were frozen with an uncomfortable, twitching smile on your face and only sobered up somewhat when Chloé reached you. She was laughing as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders—in her defence, she tried to fight her amusement, but you looked completely anguished, nearly grief-stricken. It was ridiculously unfitting, and, at the same time, so completely in character for you.

“I’m not entirely sure how this works,” you told her. “Are you certain I’m not supposed to toss it, too? Sort of like a relay race? I saw one of your younger cousins who looked very excited to catch the bouquet, but she had an obvious height disadvantage.”

Chloé clutched you to herself tighter in a comforting manner.

“No, love,” she said brightly. “My cousins are twelve and thirteen, they both can wait for their turn. And I’ll see you at your wedding. Hopefully sooner rather than later? It’s been too long since we’ve last chatted.”

“It has been,” you agreed, “but if we’re only meeting at weddings, then I’m afraid this might be the last time we see each other.”

Laughing again, she rubbed a soothing hand on your back and assured you, “the bouquet can mean whatever you want it to mean. I’m just glad you’re here tonight. And I’m sure Jungkook is, too.”

With another soft smile, she nudged you in his direction and walked away to join her husband. Before you could begin pondering what she’d meant by that, your eyes caught sight of Jungkook, who was still watching you—in a relentless way. Like he hadn’t looked away from you once since you left his side.

You felt almost awkward as you approached him—all of your steps leaden under his watchful eye—but as soon as you were close enough, he grinned and said, “you look like you survived an alien abduction.”

And everything was okay again. For the time being, at least.

About an hour later, you and Jungkook had settled by a cocktail table at the back of the room.

The bride’s bouquet rested between you as you sipped champagne and took everything in: all the couples dancing around you, the kids kicking the balloons, Kihyun and Chloé being unable to stop smiling at each other as he twirled her around to the gentle melody of the wedding band playing Biffy Clyro’s “Many of Horror”.

“I still believe,” rang through the venue as the song went on, “it’s you and me ‘till the end of time.”

You nodded along to the rhythm, tapping your fingers against the table. You’d stopped resisting after your first glass of champagne and allowed the familiar melody to take you back to the days when you and Jungkook passionately screamed the lyrics of this song at each other in your dorm room.

The two of you dancing with each other was a far more violent affair than Kihyun and Chloé’s smooth swaying: your twirling involved a lot more kicking, stepping on toes, and tears of laughter as you eventually admitted your absolute incompetence when it came to dancing. Jungkook, on the other hand, seemed very skilled at it—but then, when compared to you, probably even a well-trained rabbit could have danced better.

You smiled fondly at the memory, happy that the bubbles you drank and the long trip you’d taken today made you feel just dizzy enough to look back at the old days without wishing you were there now.

You were glad to be where you were.

Jungkook, meanwhile, was on his third glass. He kept glancing at the bouquet on the table with immense discomfort as he painfully remembered Sid’s words on their first night in Prague: “Your ass is so whipped, you’re going to be singing at her wedding to some random producer.”

What if Sid was right, then what would he do? Would he get up on stage and perform a fucking love song for you and your new husband? An angsty, yearning love song with a powerful guitar riff—like the ones you liked and the ones he kept writing; the lyrics dripping with all the sentiments that would mean nothing to him, while you married someone else.

I still believe it’s you and me ‘till the end of time

He couldn’t do it. He’d never do it. He’d rather—

“Jungkook,” you said suddenly, your voice catching him off-guard.

“Hmm?” he looked at you, an almost alarmed expression on his face. The descent from deep inside of his mind and back to reality was a painful one.

“I have a question,” you said.

He finished his drink and put the empty flute down on the table. “Alright.”

“There’s no ex,” you said, deciding it was finally time to clear this up, “is there?”

After almost two hours at the wedding—where he hadn’t mentioned his ex once—both of you already knew the answer to this question. But he still graced you with a formal response, because he knew he owed you an explanation.

“No,” he said. “There’s not.”

You nodded, your expression the same as before.

He was relieved. He’d expected a drink in his face.

“So, tell me then,” you continued. “Why did you need me to come with you to this wedding?”

For the first second after you asked this, he thought he could have just admitted it. There was no condition in the bet about revealing the truth to you, after all. And it’s only a bet—it’s nothing significant.

But you were standing in front of him in your dress, the leather jacket that he’d gotten you hanging on your shoulders. You were looking at him with tired, tipsy eyes. And you were smiling—but still trying very hard not to—as you sipped your champagne.

There was a sense of future in the air.

Your future, together.

And the realisation that the bet was significant, despite his efforts to convince himself otherwise, had finally kicked in—he was afraid he wouldn’t just get a drink thrown in his face if he told you. He was afraid he’d lose this future.

“I, uh… I just didn’t want to be here by myself,” he ended up saying. This was, technically, not a lie, either. “I always go to these things alone.”

“Why go at all?” you asked then. “You were pretty definitive when you RSVP’d “no” months ago. I was the one who emailed them both of our responses.”

“Well,” he said, looking around at the waiters, passing out drinks, as he tried to buy time. “I don’t know. I feel different now that I’m in Europe. So close to Paris. I guess I changed my mind.”

As you’ve learned in the past few days, that was his excuse for everything.

“Mhmm,” you nodded, taking a sip from your glass. “Humour me about something else, would you?”

Happy that the waiter was finally close enough for him to reach, Jungkook grabbed another champagne flute from his tray and then looked at you again. “What is it?”

“Why would Sid tell me you were dating someone,” you began, “and then warn me not to let you go to this wedding?”

What a perfectly logical question. Truly, he couldn’t see how the question could have been more perfect.

It was so perfect, in fact, that you could engrave it on Sid’s tombstone after Jungkook killed him.

“You know what? I actually have no idea,” he said and then threw his head back to down the champagne in one big gulp.

He kept the liquid in his mouth for a second—prolonging the time he didn’t have to speak to you, all while you watched him suspiciously—and then swallowed, finally.

“Really,” he added in response to your questioning look. “He’s an enigma.”

You snorted. “That’s one way to describe him.”

He nodded, eager to cement the point he was making. Additionally, he suggested, “maybe he was just jealous.”

You squinted your eyes at him, trying to find the causal relationship between Sid lying to you and Sid being jealous.

You tried to guess, “jealous of—of not going to Paris with you?”

“Of me going with you,” he said.

You picked up your champagne glass again—you weren’t drunk enough to have this conversation. “What?”

He shrugged. “Maybe he has a crush on you.”

Your scoff was almost reflexive, and you were very glad that you hadn’t taken a sip before he had said this. You’ve heard plenty of unexpected things in the span of these past few days; all kinds of manipulations and weak cop-outs – but this one was, by far, the most ridiculous one.

“Maybe he has a crush on you,” you countered, clearly considering this statement to be an accusation more than a compliment.

He snickered at this. “Fair enough. Maybe he does.”

Swallowing, you put your near-empty glass down on the table and gave him a long look.

“So, he just did that to spread chaos?” you asked. “No other reason?”

Jungkook shrugged again. “Nothing else I can come up with.”

“I don’t believe you,” you said calmly and watched him freeze, startled by the bluntness of your words. First, you finished your champagne, then your sentence, “but I’m willing to drop it if this is nothing more than Sid’s game. Tell him to never speak to me again, and let’s leave this at that.”

Jungkook was relieved, and, at the same time, scared to feel relieved. He felt it necessary to say, “I’m sorry Sid did that.”

“Don’t apologise for him.”

“I’m not. The apology is from me,” he said. “I should have made sure he wouldn’t bother you, let alone lie to you—”

“I don’t care why Sid lied to me,” you cut him off. “I care why you did. Why you went along with it.”

He knew he should have seen your question coming, but he chose to pretend he could talk around this topic instead—and that’s why your words knocked all breath out of him.

It was simple: he’d played along with Sid’s lie, because he thought it’d help him convince you to come to Paris with him faster; he’d lied to you to win the bet.

But he hadn’t lied to you when he said he didn’t want to come to this wedding alone. He wanted to come here with you. The bet seemed more like an excuse now—a distraction from his anxiety that he equipped as a pretence to ask you out.

He was painfully aware of this now: he’d always wanted to ask you out again; just one more time. One last first date of your lives.

He realised this, and there was no way he could pretend otherwise, not when his mouth dried up every time he looked at you.

And yet, that seemed even more difficult to admit to you.

Inhaling, he said, “I thought Sid’s lie would get you to come with me.”

That did not feel much like an explanation.

“You could have said that Sid lied and just told me that you changed your mind about going to the wedding,” you said, waving your empty flute around. “You’re allowed to go where you want to. You’re an adult.”

“Well—”

“To a certain extent,” you added, “because, of course, you have your reputation to consider. Yours and the band’s, too, actually.”

“So, you would have just let me leave the tour?” he questioned, doubtful and, honestly, disappointed. Asking for your permission to do something felt childish, but it also felt like you cared. And he really needed you to care.

You remembered his threat about bringing his friends with him if you wouldn’t go, and asked, “would you have gone to Paris alone?”

He looked down. Then, he told you the full truth, “I wouldn’t have come here at all, if you hadn’t agreed to come with me.”

“But I said no,” you said, still trying to make sense of this. “I didn’t want to go. You kept pushing.”

“I really wanted us to go together. That’s why—you know.” He swallowed. “That’s why Sid’s lie seemed so convenient.”

“Why did it matter that we went together?” you asked one more time. “The real reason.”

He didn’t reply right away, because he was too tipsy for this. It was only champagne, he could have easily recited the alphabet backwards if he was asked to. But it was getting difficult to keep up with what he was telling you.

He didn’t want to lie, not anymore, so he tried to only tell you the truth and keep quiet about the things he didn’t want you to know about: like the bet. And, of course, the fact that he had, apparently, been in love with you for ages. This particular realisation had surprised him on the train earlier, and he was the one with the feelings. He couldn’t even imagine how much it would probably shock you if he told you.

You waited, at first; assuming that he needed a moment to gather the courage to explain. But a minute later, your patience ran out.

So, you tried to answer for him—offering an option that wouldn’t be satisfactory enough, but it would be comfortable for you to believe, “just because they’re our friends?”

“Yeah. Sure,” he said, but it sounded like he was just agreeing, because he could tell that this was what you wanted him to say. “We’d known Kihyun and Chloé for so long. So it’s for, um—for old times’ sake, I guess.”

You needed a minute to arrange everything in order in your mind. Everything Jungkook had said seemed convincing enough if you closed your eyes, but it still felt like a half-truth at best.

You knew there had to be a different reason why Sid didn’t want Jungkook to go to Paris—or, perhaps, why he didn’t want you to come with Jungkook.

Not to mention, Jungkook could have convinced you to come to the wedding much faster if he’d told you the truth instead of going along with the story about his “ex”. Of course, that’s assuming that he really did only want to come here to witness your friends get married like he’d said.

But you wanted to believe that what he’d told you tonight was true, because this way, you wouldn’t have to ask any more questions or overthink. And, truthfully, a part of you was afraid to ruin this—whatever this pleasant hum that had gathered around the two of you on the train to Paris was—by interrogating Jungkook further.

Not to mention, you’d outgrown Sid’s silly games and simply wanted peace.

Even though you didn’t speak, Jungkook seemed to read the thoughts in your mind as he chewed on his bottom lip and said again, “I’m sorry.”

You blinked, registering the discomfort on his face. “What for?”

“For the lying and the—well, everything,” he said with a resigned sigh. “I realise this was a very backwards way to convince you to come here with me.”

“It was. And thank you for owning up to it,” you said. “But next time you try to do something weird, do try to leave me out of it, would you?”

He grinned at this—he couldn’t help it. “Define weird.”

You were smiling, even though you rolled your eyes in response.

“Lying,” you said then. His smile faltered. “You don’t have to tell me everything, but don’t lie to me.”

Solemn now, he nodded. He realised that this gesture alone wasn’t convincing enough and redeemed it by clearing his throat and saying very decidedly, “I promise I’ll make sure Sid doesn’t bother you again.”

“Good,” you said. “Please do.”

“Thank you for coming here with me,” he added. “Despite everything.”

You were about to retort with a dry “you’re welcome”, but decided to take a different route and make him work a little bit. It only seemed fair.

“I don’t think a simple ‘thank you’ will suffice,” you said slyly. He cocked an eyebrow, not having expected to hear the playfulness in your voice. “This was a huge favour, after all. I could have been sleeping on the tour bus right now.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun,” he countered. “I saw the look in your eyes on the cab ride to the wedding.”

“Well, I had to adjust,” you defended. “Can’t exactly sulk the entire time, I’m not a toddler. Unlike some people.”

You turned away as you said this, smirking, while he scoffed, indignant. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.”

He was instinctively opening his mouth to respond, but only managed to squeeze out an incomprehensible syllable that turned into an impressed tsk.

“Okay,” he decided then, tongue in cheek. “So, how can I repay this massive favour?”

“I’m not sure you ever will, to be honest,” you played. “But you could start by gifting the newlyweds a song.”

Jungkook glanced back at the platform in the corner of the room that was set up as a stage for the band. The musicians were taking a break and having drinks by the bar right now, so it was empty.

He looked back at you. “I don’t sing at weddings.”

“You used to,” you pointed out.

“Once. They made me wear a suit with a bowtie. A tight, neon yellow bowtie,” he reiterated. “It nearly made me suffocate. I would have died looking like I ran away from a low-budget circus. I’m not doing that again.”

Trying to keep your laughter in—you hadn’t actually been working with Rated Riot yet when they performed at this wedding, but Yoongi kept pictures, and he pulled them out every year on Jungkook’s birthday—you reached over the table to touch him.

“I’ll make this easier for you,” you said as you gently undid the first few buttons of his black dress shirt.

His breath got caught in his throat the second he felt your fingertips brush against the bare skin between his collarbones. It lasted for less than a second, but he was certain your touch had left a mark.

“There,” you said, pulling away. You seemed to have no clue of the revolution you’d started in his chest, which was a wonder. He was convinced his face had passed all the colours of the rainbow in the span of a minute. You continued, “nothing’s blocking your airways now. I’ll even do you one better—you don’t look like a clown tonight. You actually look good.”

Funnily enough, he had fewer problems breathing before you leaned closer to touch him. And before you told him he looked good.

Weakly, he asked, “I assume you have a song in mind, then?”

You nodded. “Chloé once told me she loved this one when she was younger. “As Long as You Love Me” by—”

“No.”

You were grinning as you finished, “—Backstreet Boys.”

He was shaking his head with enough vehemence for you to feel a soft wind on your face.

There wasn’t anything wrong with the song of choice—other than the fact that Jungkook doubted very much that Chloé had ever mentioned it to you; he suspected you were just setting him up—but he held a personal grudge against it ever since he impulsively performed the song at your birthday party six years ago.

You had already been so drunk at that point, you could only remember glimpses of it all. Fortunately, someone had filmed Jungkook as he was using your floor lamp as a microphone stand when he performed Nick’s part at the beginning of the song. Later on, he’d gotten so immersed that he’d pulled up a chair to perform the dance routine, too.

You still had the video saved somewhere on your cloud storage.

“Your debt will be fully repaid if you include the choreography,” you added now, knowing it wouldn’t convince him. You just needed to say it to see the tips of his ears turn red at the memory.

His lips were pursed as he watched the mischievous glint in your eye. He’d missed it, he realised, even if your teasing was at his expense.

“You don’t think I’ll do it,” he observed. You shrugged—an obvious challenge—and he looked back at the platform again.

“I’m going to need a mic stand and a chair,” he said. Your eyes visibly brightened—he hadn’t seen you this excited in years. Keeping eye contact with you as he walked backwards to the platform, he pointed a finger in your direction. “This is for you.”

You cheered—caught in the moment and in the champagne you’d had tonight—while he climbed on the platform and turned the music that had been playing from the loudspeakers off. It took everyone at this wedding by surprise. They all turned to look.

The musicians seemed largely unfazed, until he picked up the guitar that they’d left leaning against the wall by the platform. They were already about to approach, but Jungkook extended a hand with so much self-assurance that they froze right away.

He said something else—you were too far to hear—and that seemed to relax them. They returned to their drinks and Jungkook, finally, climbed onto the platform.

Admittedly, until the moment he did, you really didn’t think he would actually do it.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he spoke, his voice muffled as he tapped the microphone to make sure it was working. You looked back to see the surprised looks on Kihyun and Chloé’s faces. “It’s a very special night tonight, as we know. And I have a very special gift for my friends. Congratulations on the beginning of the rest of your lives together, guys.”

The newlyweds both cheered and Jungkook chuckled lightly. The microphone caught the sound and you felt your heart respond to it in eagerness as it pounded against your ribs.

The second he played the first chords on the guitar, the room seemed to come to life. Some people recognised the melody and rushed to the designated dancing space in front of the platform, their hands in the air—and it felt, for just a moment, like a Rated Riot concert. Others still looked confused, but very entertained by the unexpected turn of events.

“Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine,” he began to sing and it immediately turned into a battle of which one of you two could last longer without cringing, “I'm leaving my life in your hands.”

You lost the battle as soon as Jungkook began the chorus and put the guitar down so he could perform the choreography with the chair—as much as he could, anyway, because the chairs at the venue didn’t fold. Your nose was scrunched, and you couldn’t help shaking your head, half in disbelief, half in amusement.

He watched you nearly the whole time—only looking away to nod encouragingly at Kihyun and Chloé, both of whom were dancing in the middle of the room—and his voice was louder, much clearer without the instrument accompanying it.

You’d watched him tear his shirt off on stage at Rated Riot shows, and you’d never had to cover your face. But your hands were on your mouth the moment he dramatically dropped to his knees for that last “as long as you love me” in the song.

His head fell in a theatrical manner as soon as he finished the song, and the room erupted in applause. He thought he could discern your laughter amidst the noise, and he was smiling when he looked up.

It took him a minute to return to you after the performance—people asked for more as he walked past, others were patting him on the back, and some guests, who turned out to have been in attendance at the previous party, gaily informed him that he did “much better than last time”.

His breathing was still heavy when he reached you, exhilarated.

Beaming even before he heard your response, he leaned against your table and lifted an eyebrow. “Well?”

“That might be the best performance that I’d ever seen,” you said. “I’m sure it’ll haunt my dreams. Thank you for that.”

There was enough genuine awe in your voice to make him laugh.

“So, you don’t regret coming here with me, then?” he asked. His eyes were glittering when he looked at you—with excitement, adrenaline, and hope.

“No,” you said. Your soft smile had rendered him completely incapable of looking away from you. “I’m actually glad I came. And not just because I got to see you sing Backstreet Boys in front of everyone.”

Heated suddenly, he said, “that stays between us.”

Even though you’d been looking forward to telling everyone on tour about this, you decided he deserved your agreement.

“Fine,” you said. “But it’s a shame the rest of the world wasn’t able to enjoy this.”

“Hmm,” he lifted his chin. “That was for your eyes only.”

“What about the rest of the guests?” you asked. There was a certain delight in your words that he noticed and quietly basked in.

“What guests?” he replied with a grin. “I said this was for you.”

You were shaking your head, but there was humour in your eyes and on your lips, and his own smile felt like it might cause his cheeks to tear.

There was nothing he wouldn’t have done for you at that moment. He was flushed, and his head was spinning. The entirety of his chest, it seemed to him, had begun to float.

He was happy.

You were still here with him, teasing and laughing. He’d seen his old friends get married, he’d seen them dance. He was about to join his band on tour, about to perform all across Europe.

Everything was going to be perfect. He just had to get this bet over with—quietly—and then figure out a way to expand the cavity of his chest, so it could contain his heart and the thousands of obnoxious, never-ceasing fluttering wings around it.

chapter title credits: sleep token, “the summoning”

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imsadstuff · 1 year

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Loving You Is Red - A Jeon Jungkook Fic

Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook's name was unheard on the Formula 1 paddock till he got a chance to drive a Mercedes car as a reserve driver. His 2020 starts looking brighter as he signs with Ferrari and meets you, his team mates little sister. So many cliched tropes, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, dating brother's best friend, and most importantly Jeon Jungkook looks smoking hot in a Ferrari! Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life and humor Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, I've been busy with university stuff. This took a lot of time and energy, so I hope you enjoy reading this. If you do please leave me a like or comment, please don't be a ghost reader! Word Count: 28k+ (I reccomend reading on a desktop if possible!) Warnings: Sexual themes, drinking, and just a whole lot of fluff.

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

AO3 link incase you prefer that: here

Race 16 Singapore Grand Prix 2019

Race weekend is always exciting, especially when it is a night race. The city felt alive as the crowd buzzed around, ready for the race to start. Walking beside your father, you stop periodically as he stops and talks to a million people through the paddock.

The Ferrari garage is buzzing with tension as your father goes up and pulls your brother in a tight hug, “Lets win, just like last year!” your father is gleaming with pride thinking of your brother’s glorious win in Singapore last night.

“How did the doctors go?” Philip asks as you kiss his cheek, after a shattered ankle, back injury and multiple head injuries a year ago, doctor visits have been regular for you.

“There’s progress, I might go back on ice again” you reassure him and he gives you a big, pleased smile. Phillip soon gets back in the car as everyone gets ready to race, he looks at home in the car.

“The two-time world championship winner Phillip Lee is starting at pole position followed by the other ferrari and mercedes” the commentator's voice booms in your headphones as you look at the cars line up.

“It’s an important race for ferrari to maximise points. The mercedes team feels weak today as their lead driver has to sit out of the races due to sickness. The replacement is mercedes reserve driver Jeon Jungkook, starting at P10” the camera pans to a new face for you, you’ve heard Jungkook’s name a few times, after he almost won the Formula 2 championship last year.

Jungkook feels like he’s given a unique and once in a lifetime opportunity when he was asked to fill in for Hamilton. His dreams of driving for a formula 1 team have felt impossible as he was still out of a contract mid-way through the season, this race is his opportunity to show how deserving he is of a seat.

You can feel your heart beat loudly as the countdown starts and within a blink of an eye the cars are zooming through. You’ve seen a million races by now, but each gives you the same adrenaline rush, you wonder how great it’s for the drivers.

Usually, the race would be focused on Hamilton and Phillip fighting to be the lead, but tonight the mid field seems to be more intriguing. “Oh, he’s fast, so fast” your father says as you watch the 14 number car zoom through the midfield. “What is my current position?” Jungkook asks as he starts lap number 30. “P 5, that was the fastest lap of the race. Keep out on turn 6, there might be some debris” his engineer says and Jungkook can feel a migraine coming, but he pushes through.

The crowd is visibly in awe as Jungkook zooms through the other mercedes car, just behind the two ferraris. “Jungkook, 2 seconds behind you and he’s catching up fast, mode push” the engineer tells Chuck, the other ferrari driver as he groans. The two of them go tire to tire for two turns until Jungkook finally takes over and you aren’t proud but you’re cheering against your brother right now. “Fantastic overtake Jeon, let’s push and try our best” Jungkook engineer says and Jungkook asks, “Who’s ahead of me?” “Phillip, five seconds ahead, the focus is to keep dodging Chuck” “Copy”

Everyone’s literally holding their breath as the race enters the last five laps. Jungkook has been struggling to keep off Chuck but it’s the final two laps when Jungkook goes from fast to, extraordinarily fast.

“Fuck!” your father and multiple engineers in the ferrari garage groan as Jungkook successfully manages to overtake Phillip. “Today’s race is going to be one we’re going to remember for the rest of our lives. Currently the driver from South Korea who started at P 10 has managed to end up at P 1, his skills have surprised everyone as he continues to dodge the two-time world champion Phillip” the commentator says and Jungkook enters the final lap of the race. There is a moment at turn 7 when Phillip almost overtakes him, but Jungkook keeps his position.

“This has been one of the most impressive things I’ve seen in the last twenty years of F1 history. A twenty-year-old rookie driver is finishing in the pole position in his first ever formula one race” the commentator says and your father groans as Jungkook crosses the chequered flag.

“Holy shit, HOLY SHIT, FUCk” Jungkook’s voice is barely audible over the radio as the crowd cheers for him and he sobs behind his helmet. “Right ahead park at the P 1 slot Jeon, this has been a life changing race mate!” Jungkook’s engineer sounds elated as the mercedes Jungkook is driving comes to a halt.

You watch through the tv as Jungkook barely gets out the car, the world watches as he sobs, placing his head by a tire, his body feels drained yet he feels like he’s at the top of the world.

Phillip isn’t in the best of the moods as they arrive for the press interviews post the celebrations. But he still turns to Jungkook to congratulate him on the win as they sit down for press interviews.

“So Jungkook, the smile doesn’t seem to be disappearing off your face any time soon. How does it feel to finish at a pole position in a race you ended up in because of Hamilton being sick?” an interviewer asks enthusiastically and Jungkook adjusts his cap before answering.

“It feels surreal, like I’m going to wake up any moment and realise all this was a very vivid dream. I knew when I got a call this Thursday that this was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I just wanted to make the most of it” Jungkook is visibly happy as he talks.

“You’re still looking for a seat for 2020 season, offers must be lining up after tonight” another interviewer directs a question towards Jungkook and he takes a deep breath before answering, “I’m cautiously optimistic about my chances of driving next season. Being that it’s mid-season and a lot of teams and locked up their line up for the next year, let’s see what happens”

“Question for Phillip, how do you feel about the 2020 season with a high possibility of Jeon joining a team and racing you next year” and interviewer asks and Phillip chuckles before answering, “Excited honestly, today was one of the most tough race for me of the season and Jeon pushed me to my absolute limit and competent competition like him is what brings out the best in me as a driver”

Jungkook finally catches a breath as he sits down for dinner with his parents and manager. “So, we have an offer from McLaren, they want you to get the feel and spend time at their garage at the next race” His manager says as he barely chews the rice. “McLaren have a good car, top of mid field” his father comments and he nods in agreement. “Who else hasn’t locked up their line up for next year?” Jungkook asks with a mouthful of food. “Aston Martin, McLaren, Alfa Tauri and Ferrari” Jungkook gasps when he hears the last name, not expecting to be on this list. “Chuck might be moving to Alfa Tauri, he’s still in the middle of negotiations but ferrari is a little out of reach to be honest” Jungkook nods when he hears that, historically ferrari is not a team that bets on young drivers. Jungkook doesn’t fall asleep that night, afraid this dream might end.

Race 17 Japanese Grand Prix 2019

Jungkook was all excited to spend the weekend with McLaren’s team, but fate must be really working for him because he was informed late Thursday that he’ll be driving for mercedes again. Hamilton is in better condition but still not in a place to drive

“Tonight's race will tell us if Jeon’s podium finish last week was a stroke of luck or a show of his phenomenal skills. He qualified at P4 so let's see where he is at the end of the race” a news host talks to the camera as Jungkook arrives at the paddock. The second he steps out his car, he’s swarmed with fans and media, he’s still not used to the attention but he smiles and takes a million pictures with fans anyway.

“You must be on the top of the world?” Pierre Gasly asks Jungkook as the walk beside each other, Pierre is a driver for Alpha Tauri, he might be his teammate next year. The two of them go back to carting days, and have known each other for years.

“I’m trying not to let it get to my head, just not think about how much of my career is riding on this” Jungkook answers candidly as they reach the mercedes garage. They talk some more for a few minutes till Pierre’s girlfriend comes and interrupts them.

“Congrats on last week Jeon, I texted you but you never replied” Francisca complains as the two of them hug.

“My phone’s been blowing up, I might have missed it” Jungkook says with a big smile, he can see someone walk up to them.

“Fran come on we gotta get to our seats- oh” you look up from your phone to realise that it’s not just Pierre and Fran, it’s also last race’s winner Jeon Jungkook who gives you a very polite smile. “Hi” you say awkwardly waving a hand at him, he giggles as he waves a hand back. “You guys are watching from the grandstand?” Pierre asks and you nod showing him the tickets. “I have a friend watching too, come on they’re waiting” you say and Fran, she grumbles and reaches over to plaster a big kiss on Pierre’s lips.

“Jesus fuck is he hot” Lily exclaims as Jungkook appears on the big screen, the camera follows as he puts on his balaclava and gets in the car. “Is he dating someone?” she asks Fran and she nods no, “He had a pretty serious girlfriend but they broke up some time this year” Fran has the inside scoop on anything and everything.

There is this silence as the cars line up to start the race, Jungkook’s mind goes absolutely blank as the lights go off and he’s cruising. The first turn results in a big crash between Chuck and the other mercedes car.

“The safety car has been deployed, and both ferrari and mercedes have only one car in the race now” the commentator announces and you watch as Jungkook drives behind your brother once again. Jungkook takes a pit stop in lap number 40, pushing him from P2 to P7, “You have Sainz in front of you, three seconds away” “Copy” Jungkook answers overtaking and reaching P6. It takes him around five more laps to get back to P2.

“Jungkook is tire to tire with Phillip but the ferrari driver is riding on older tires, Jungkook tries to overtake again, and OH Jeon manages to push Phillip off the track a little and takes the pole position” the commentator is basically shouting at this point.

“He was in my way, and hit me” Phillip complains on the radio and his engineer sighs waiting for a word from the stewardess. The accident is shown on the big screen again and the ferrari fans sigh with defeat.

“Phillip is given a five second penalty, maximise distance while he boxes” “Copy” Jungkook’s car zooms by where you’re sitting and it’s hard not to be awed by him.

Phillip is pissed as he walks by Jungkook to talk to a reporter, if he could he’d be back at his hotel room but he has to talk to people. “What a gripping race, you and Jeon were wheel by wheel so many times but he came on top at the end” the interview says and Phillip passes him a tight smile.

“He’s a tough competition but I’m hoping to make up the lost points in the coming weeks” Phillip is very media trained, no matter how pissed he is right now, he is going to try and stay level headed.

“What does it feel like right now? Two consecutive pole positions far from what mercedes must have expected of you two weeks ago” the interviewer asks and Jungkook grins widely as you watch him get interviewed from a distance.

“I’m excited to have my own episode in the next season of drive to survive, thank you Netflix in advance” Jungkook says with a cheeky smirk making everyone around him laugh out loud.

“So, this has to stay between us right now but McLaren made a counter offer” Namjoon, Jungkook’s manager whispers to him and his eyes go wide.

“How much?” Jungkook asks and Namjoon shows him by pulling four fingers up.

“There’s something else too, ferrari’s team principal has requested a meeting later today” this makes Jungkook gasp out very loudly, garnering attention from a few people around them.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2019

Midway through this year, your schedule has been emptier than expected. Right now, you were supposed to be at the Olympic camp as a part of the figure skating team, instead you were sunbathing in Mexico. Putting on your cover up, you are heading back to your hotel room when you run into someone very unexpected in the elevator.

“Hello” Jungkook is standing against the wall with his manager on the other side. You mumble a meek hello as you stand in front of them. The two of them are talking about last week's race till the elevator reaches a stop and his manager steps out.

“I have some stuff to work out with the lawyers but I’ll come and get you for the signing” the manager says and Jungkook nods. There’s silence as the two of you walk back to your rooms, awkwardly in the same direction.

“So, you are a figure skater?” Jungkook finally breaks the silence and you nod, looking at him a little surprised.

“How’d you know?” “I looked you up on Instagram” he answers with a teasing tone, like, duh he looked you up on Instagram.

“How are your injuries?” he asks, surprising you again. Sure, you make a long post to announce your injuries, but you didn’t expect him to bring it up.

“They’re there” you answer and he gives you a sympathetic smile as he opens the door to his room.

“Congratulations on signing with ferrari” you shout as you walk away from him, he turns around, his big bambi eyes looking around with terror.

“Shhhh!!!! how’d you know?” he says very seriously only, making you giggle as you open your room diagonal to him. “I have my ways” you say with a small smile and he looks away shyly.

The paddock is absolutely buzzing as people continue coming up to Jungkook to congratulate him. His seat on Ferrari was announced last night, and it still does not feel real to him. He makes his way to the ferrari garage as everyone gets ready for qualification.

Photographers take a million pictures as he goes up and greets Phillip, “Welcome to ferrari” Phillip says with actual excitement. “Thank you! It still doesn’t feel read” Jungkook says and Phillip laughs and remembers this feeling. “It won’t till you’re actually in the car” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles nervously. Jungkook goes around, greeting everyone and all the team members seem to be fascinated with him. By the time the cars go out, you arrive at the garage.

“Good afternoon” he greets you with a cheesing smile that comes up to his eyes. “Afternoon” you mumble looking at the screens as Phillip drives quickly. “So, how are you planning to celebrate Jeon?” your father asks from the other side. “Training and lots of it, I’m also starting Italian lessons” he says and your father chuckles loudly. “buona fortuna!” (good luck!) you say giving Jungkook a thumbs up. “Grazie” Jungkook says with a twinkling smile.

Jungkook is taking diligent notes through the race, you don’t understand half of it between the scribbling and bad handwriting, but he seems focused.

“You’re going to need a red diary now” you tell him and Phillip enters the last few laps of the race, tonight’s race wasn’t as exciting as the last two ones.

“They delivered all this ferrari merch, there has to be diary in it too” Jungkook says shutting his diary.

“What are your plans over the winter break?” you ask him removing the headphones, his have been off the whole time.

“Moving to Monaco, skiing with a few friends and training” Jungkook was dreading the winter break, all he wanted to do was be back in the car.

“What are you doing?” he asks and you sigh having no actual idea. “Doctors appointments, decide if I want to absolutely give up on my dream of figure skating, stay at home and rest because my doctors going to be asking me to do that” you answer absolutely dreading the lonely winters. Jungkook doesn’t know how to reply to that, you might have laid way too heavy stuff on him.

“It’s not all that bad, I’m going to be drinking lots of wine and reading twenty books” you say bringing up the kindle in your hands, you always carry it around with you.

“Reading just requires too much concentration for me” Jungkook answers completely given up on watching the race at this point, he can always rewatch it.

“Yet you drive a formula 1 car with precision” you say with a taunting tone, earning a big laugh from him.

Race 19 United States Grand Prix 2019

You aren’t attending the race this week, instead you decided to fly back home for a doctors appointment. “There’s very slow progress, how does this feel” the doctor asks slightly turning your foot and you grumble with pain.

“The fractures and injuries are healed but there’s some swelling, have you talked to your coach?” the doctor asks as you sit up, you had and he wasn’t happy.

“What are my chances?” you ask the doctor and he sighs, you know you aren’t going to like the answer.

“Your foot injury is healing slow, but your back injury is what alarms me, even with the physiotherapy I’m worried you’re going to have a flare up if you go back on ice” the doctors words are ringing in your ears. You knew this was coming, but it was going to take you some time to accept it.

You’re waiting for your food to be delivered as you get a notification, Unknown Number: *video* You play the video immediately and realise it’s a video of your brother driving out the garage, the camera turns to reveal Jungkook cheering on with your father. Unknown Number: Where are you? You: How’d you get my number? Jungkook: to quote you, “I have my ways” You: You got it from Pierre Jungkook: I have my ways… Jungkook: Where are you? You: I had to see my doctor, I’ll be back for the next race Jungkook: How’d it go? You: I’m drafting my retirement press release soon so not well Jungkook: I don’t know any appropriate response to that, it must be heart breaking You: Just tell me it’s going to be fine Jungkook: ___, I’m sure that it’s going to be fine

Race 20 Brazilian Grand Prix 2019

This is your first time in Brazil, and to put it simply, the food is delicious and for once in your life you aren’t overthinking after eating. You were walking around with Phillip and it’s hard not to be stopped every five seconds but he had to get some shopping done before his trip.

“Why are you being so anxious about perfume, it’s just perfume” you groan as Philip smells the nth perfume of the day.

“Because it’s my first getaway with Maya and I want to smell amazing, it’s very important” he says and the sales person chuckles.

“What are you dinner plans?” you as Phillip as he opens his ferrari, he only drivers a ferrari, on and off track.

“I’m having dinner with Jeon” he mentions nonchalantly and you give him a surprised look.

“I thought you didn’t like him” “I didn’t on track when he beat me, but he’s on my team now, I’d rather him be on my team” he explains driving through the packed city.

“Plus, we’re going to be spending a lot, LOT of time together, I want to get along with him” Phillip has a very close relationship with Chuck too, no matter how much they fight on track.

“So, what are you guys doing for your date?” you say with a teasing tone and Phillip laughs sarcastically.

“I suggested golf but he doesn’t know how to golf so we’re doing a very boring dinner and drinks” Phillip says stopping on a red light.

“Have fun on your date, too bad you won’t get some” this earns another sarcastic chuckle from Phillip. “Jeon’s too pretty for me anyway”

Jungkook’s massaging his head as he walks to the mercedes garage to watch the qualifying. Last night, he drank for himself and Phillip and it resulted in a bad headache and an even worse hangover.

His PR manager comes and finds him for an interview and he groans, reading the agenda. “It’s a simple fluff piece, they’d want to talk more about your interests and hobbies, what you are like as a person and not the f1 stuff” the PR manager says and he nods putting on his sunglasses, the sun might feel a little too bright today.

“I pick up a ton of hobbies, photography, video games, bowling, I’m very good at bowling.” Jungkook feels a little carefree during this interview, no hard-hitting questions.

“No golfing?” “I tell people that I don’t know how to golf when the truth is that I’m bad at golf” he answers, earning a hearty laugh from the interviewer.

“Last night, Phillip posted pictures with you, are you getting along with your future teammate” “Absolutely, I am still a little starstruck around him and I’m glad that I get to work along with him-" Jungkook loses his train of thought when he watches you walk into the paddock. “I, um, so so lucky to be driving for ferrari and learn from a two-time world champion” he finishes the thought massaging his head.

“This is the question I’m curious about the most, do you have a girlfriend?” “I don’t, right now the focus is training for the coming season”

Jungkook: why were you limping? You: When did you see me limping? Jungkook: Arriving at the paddock, what happened? You: Just a flare up, obsessed much Jeon ;) Jungkook: the words you’re looking for is worried, caring, thoughtful, etc. You: Close the thesaurus Jungkook, I’m fine Jungkook: you should ice it, do you have an ice pack? You: yeah I stole one from Phillip You: How’d the interview go with the pretty lady? Jungkook: Obsessed much ___ ;) You: The word you’re looking for is observant, attentive, aware, etc. Jungkook: Focus on icing your foot and close the thesaurus You: Fuck off Jungkook: Gladly :)

Race 21 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2019

“Final race of the season and after last week’s competitive race, Hamilton ended up at P1, making your final score close to equal. So much pressure on this race, how are you feeling?” the interviewer asks pushing a mic in Phillip’s face.

“It’s been a tough season, I’m just happy it’s ending” Phillip says before walking away.

You’re in the hospitality area of ferrari, waiting for your father to be done talking to someone, again. Jungkook walks in, flashes you a smile before he goes and talks to someone.

Today you aren’t watching from the garage, the first time Phillip won the world championship, you were late and in the hospitality area, and given how superstitious Phillip is, you’re stuck in the hospitality area.

You: where are you watching the race from? Jungkook: I have a few friends waiting in the grand stand, so from there Jungkook texts you back quickly, looking up and quirking an eyebrow towards you. You: Lucky… I am going to be stuck here Jungkook: Come with me, I got an extra ticket You: Can’t

Before he can ask another question, Phillip walks in the room, and takes a seat beside you. “How you feeling?” you ask him and he sighs leaning back in the sofa.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Phillip has a lot riding on today’s race, he can’t lose.

“Want some water?” you offer him a bottle and look up to find Jungkook sitting opposite Phillip.

“Let’s all get drunk after you win, and not just me drinking this time” Jungkook can sense how tense Phillip is, this makes Phillip chuckle a little.

“I’m going to be drinking none the less,” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles standing up.

“Good luck for the race! I’ll get going my friends are lost” Jungkook says making eye contact with you for just a second.

“Thanks” Phillip stands up, mumbling something about seeing an engineer, you look up at Jungkook, and he taps on your phone, like he’s signalling for you to check it. Jungkook: Text me if you get bored

You’re holding a throw pillow pretty tightly as you watch Phillip enter the last lap of the race. “Hamilton is 2 seconds behind, mode push, mode push” “Stop talking on the radio, I’m trying to win” Philip yells on the radio as the two of them almost touch at a corner but Phillip comes ahead and the crowd goes wild as he zooms past the cheeked flag.

“So sorry for yelling” Phillip apologizes and you wipe a tear, “Don’t worry mate, if you’re winning the world championship for the third time, you can yell all you want” his engineer says and Phillip chuckles.

Phillip doesn’t seem as excited as he walks up to the podium, he seems relieved. Phillip looks around for you in the crowd, but you’re missing.

You know you should be happy for your brother right now, but all his victory does is make you feel miserable about your lost career. Your family doesn’t know about the tough conversation you had with your coach last week, they don’t know about the press release that’s going to be released some time next week.

You notice people coming back to the lounge so you leave, not wanting to answer any question. “___?” you hear a familiar voice as you bump into someone on your way out, looking up you realise that it’s Jungkook. Sniffing your nose, you walk away like nothing happened but Jungkook follows, the image of your running mascara worries him.

“___ what’s wrong?” he stops you, holding you back with your wrist, the question only makes you sob harder. Quietly, he pulls you into a dark corner, not wanting anyone to see this.

“I am the worst sister ever, thinking about myself when my brother achieved something great” you cry out, leaning your head against his chest. Jungkook knows his words can’t console you right now, so he just hugs you tightly till you stop crying.

January 2020

“So, three-minute-long hug and you haven’t talked to him since?” Lily asks and you nod sitting up on the counter. The two of you are hiding in the kitchen during your brother’s birthday party, it’s just too important to gossip about boys.

“He replied to my stories a few times but we haven’t really talked, and I know he’s training and busy and I’m far from his mind but it’s still driving me insane” you grumble eating the cake you stole on your way in.

“It’s his first formula one season, of course he doesn’t have the time for a gir- Jungkook!” you squeal his name as he walks into the kitchen and Lily turns around with a big smile.

“Hey” he says waving his hand as he walks towards you. “Hi” your voice comes out very high pitched, this makes Lily giggly. “Phillip told me you were hiding in the kitchen” Jungkook says running a hand through his hair, his eyes are fixed on you, he hasn’t even noticed the woman standing beside you completely.

“Not hiding, eating cake and-“ “Okay so you two clearly don’t see me” Lily complains, flustering the two of you. “Jungkook, this is Lily, my friend-“ “Her best friend and I’m going to leave, nice meeting you Jungkook” Lily leaves you with a teasing smile and you look at her like an helpless puppy. “Hi” you say again, your face flush with embarrassment, Jungkook has a million things to ask you, a million more to tell you, but he feels tongue tied right now.

“Your parents moved to Germany when you were six months old?” you ask with amusement and Jungkook nods taking the pint of ice cream from your hands. As the party escalated to a club, the two of you disappeared in the crowd, staying back at your brother’s apartment.

“My father got a big mechanical engineering job so we moved from Seoul, they’ve been living in Frankfurt” he says looking at the ocean as he takes a big bite of the chocolate ice cream.

“There’s so much I don’t know about you” you whisper snugging even more into the blanket, it's was pretty windy out here on the balcony.

“I could say the same” he whispers laying his head back on the sofa, it’s hard not to stare in his eyes but you snap yourself out of it.

“How about we each ask a question and both of us answer it” you suggest and he nods immediately. “Comfort food?” you ask turning to face him, he ponders for a second but lights up as he answers, “Any soup my mom makes” “Mine would be a good, juicy, greasy burger” “Favourite movie?” he asks and you answer immediately, “Pride and Prejudice” “Iron Man 2” his answer makes you scoff, so on character for Jungkook. “I’ve never seen a marvel movie to completion” this earns a big old gasp from Jungkook, he sits up straight to look at you with shock.

“Sci-fi and the superhero trop is boring to me” “Don’t you dare sully the good Iron Man’s name” Jungkook says very seriously and you giggle, moving a little closer to him. “I’ve never seen any harry porter movies too” you confess and he laughs sarcastically.

February 2020 You: How’s testing going? Jungkook: I wasn’t able to sleep because of how excited I was to drive the car, and it went not as well as I expected You: What happened? Jungkook: Some engine problems but I’ll be fine Jungkook: What are you up to? You: I am studying to finish the last year of school, and I forgot how bad studying was Jungkook: Sucks to be you, I am out celebrating Jungkook: Why are you awake right now? It’s past midnight in Monaco You: Isn’t it even more past might in Bahrain? Jungkook: Yes, answer me first You: I had coffee late in the evening and now I’m all jittery and anxious You: Now, answer me second :) Jungkook: I had a photoshoot and event later, and another after party and now I’m drunk in bed

Without thinking too much, you press the video call button and he picks up immediately. His flushed face is very close to the camera. “Heyyyyy” Jungkook says dragging the y, knowing it’s going to make you laugh.

“You’re still in a suit, you’re going to wrinkle your suit” you say turning around in bed too.

“I don’t have to wear this again, at least for a while I think” Jungkook wonders out loud getting up from the bed, no matter how tired he is, sleeping in a suit is uncomfortable. He walks up to the massive washroom and places his phone by the sink.

“I’m going to back to the room and change, no peeking” Jungkook says very seriously earning another round of giggles from you.

“I said no peeking ___” Jungkook shouts from the living room, this definitely shows just how drunk he is. “I physically can’t Jungkook” you yell and he is very quiet until there’s a loud groan.

“What happened?” you yell, a little too entertained by drunk Jungkook. “I forgot how to open pants” “I don’t think you open pants, you unbutton them” you correct him, earning another groan from him.

“You know, you can be a huge know it all” he says as he walks back in the washroom with just a towel, hanging very low on his hip. He might be drunk, but he notices the instance change in your demeanour.

“Like what you see ___?” Jungkook says resting his hands against the sink, it takes a full minute to process what he just asked.

“Cockiness is not very attractive Jungkook” you challenge him and he hums splashing some water on his face.

“From my experience, it is” he says and you bite your lip, refusing to show just how much he can affect you. The two of you are playing a dangerous game, but refuse to give up.

“Make sure to drink some water, you can’t afford being hungover” you say looking away from the screen, needed a break from his piercing eyes.

“Worried about me ___?” he asks trying to rile you up again, but your response absolutely softens his heart. “Yes, very much so”

Race 1 Bahrain Grand Prix 2020

“Hey?” Jungkook picks up your call as he catches an elevator up to his room.

“Are you back to the hotel?” “Yeah, I’m on my way to my room” Jungkook says pressing his floor number.

“Can you stop by my room, it’s 504” Jungkook hums a reply, not knowing what to expect.

You’re in the middle of attempting to tidy your room when you hear loud knocks, way earlier than anticipated. Swinging the door open, Jungkook smiles widely, not having seen you in almost two months.

“Cute pj’s” he comments as you let him in, they are in fact not cute pj’s. What you sleep in is a very old, oversize t shirt and gym shorts.

“Sit” you order and he complies immediately, taking a seat on the bed beside you. Wordlessly, you pass him a pale paper bag, there’s some paper rustling till he reaches the gift.

“oh, wow this is embossed” Jungkook says feeling the soft leather of the diary. He’s about to open it when you not so gently swat his hands, “Do that when I’m not there” you whisper and he chuckles, seeing just how embarrassed you are about this.

“I can’t use this, it’s too precious a gift” Jungkook can’t help but keep fiddling with the diary.

“I bought it for you to fill it with diligent notes,” you say, turning to face him.

“Thank you ___” Jungkook’s the one feeling shy right now, more accurately vulnerable. Tomorrow is the first race of his first season, there’s so much pressure and he feels like you can sense just how heavy his shoulders feel.

“Don’t tell Phillip, but I kinda want you to win tomorrow” you say, reaching for his pinkie finger with yours, Jungkook immediately takes charge, intertwining them.

“But whatever happens, it’s going to be alright” you reassure him as he holds your finger very tightly.

“How can you be sure?” he asks, finally looking you in the eyes, his eyes give away his fears and tension immediately.

“Because when I was going through something tough, you told me it was going to be alright and it’s starting to feel alright”

Race 2 Australian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook finished fourth in last week's race, in an ideal world he’d want to be first but it wasn’t bad either. Jungkook was more excited about his sister and niece joining him for the week in Australia.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Jungkook asks Phillip to get to the paddock for a test.

“Nothing much, might go to a steakhouse. Why?” “I’ve rented a yacht for the evening, some family is in town, you guys want to join?” was this a ploy to spend more time with you, yes.

“Sounds fun, maybe together we can convince ___ to jump in the ocean” Phillip says with a playful grin on his face.

“Um, excuse me, my fear of the ocean is very rational. I am not a fish, I can’t breathe in water” Phillip and you are arguing about this for the nth time as you walk up the dock.

“How can you two have the same argument with the same statements every time” Maya, Phillip’s girlfriend groans giving the two of you annoyed looks.

Jungkook’s laughter is the first thing you hear as you step onto the yacht, as you walk further up the deck you spot an adorable face that’s been mentioned to you several times.

“Oh, Hi guys!” Jungkook hollers waving his hands as Harper wiggles in his arms. Harper is Jungkook’s two-year-old niece, and seeing Jungkook with kids is not helping you with your “weird” feelings about Jungkook.

“Fish!!!” Harper yells from beside Jungkook and he returns her excitement with actual seriousness. The funniest part of their dynamic is Jungkook talking to her like an adult.

“Nemo” “No that’s not nemo, something else but definitely not nemo” Jungkook corrects Harper and you choke on your beer, finding this very ridiculous. Jungkook looks over at you with questioning eyes as you continue to cough like you’re going to die.

“Can you just let her believe that a fish is Nemo?” you ask standing up to sit a little closer to them. The two couples are off riding the jet skies the minute you got here.

“I’m setting her up for life and all the disappointments that come with it” Jungkook says, stealing the bottle of beer from your hands and taking a long swig.

The offended look on your face doesn’t faze him as he takes another swig. You go back to reading as the two of them look at fishes, Harper’s very into fishes.

Jungkook wants to bring up the diary, specifically the note you’d written on the first page, but you seem too focused on your book. Every time he turns around, he’s fascinated by the intrigued look on your face, sometimes you gasp or laugh with glee, the last one is definitely his favourite.

“Jeon, who was spectacularly starting at P1, unfortunately had to retire the car because of the engine on fire. This is definitely not the spectacular start everyone expected from him this season” the commentator says as you watch on the tv a frustrated Jungkook jump out his car.

“He’s going to be beating himself up about this even if it isn’t his problem” Sora, Jungkook’s sister, comments sitting beside you. Jungkook’s pissed to put it lightly, he’s already dreading the media questions that are going to be thrown at him.

But he pushes through, getting back to the garage and talking to the team principal. Wanting to get away from all this, he changes out of his driving suit and makes way to the hospitality area.

“Uncle Koo!” Harper says, springing up with excitement as Jungkook walks into the room. He picks her up immediately, cuddling her close.

“Next one will be better” Sora tries to comfort him with a gentle pat on his arm.

“Hopefully” Jungkook says, taking a seat beside you. You try and look him in the eyes again and again, through the race, but he keeps avoiding them.

“It’s going to be her bed time soon, I’ll take her back to the hotel” Jungkook’s brother in law says, and he gently transfers an already drowsy Harper from his arms. People are quick to leave when Phillip crosses the race in second place, wanting to go out and celebrate.

“Hey” you say, brushing his hand ever so softly, you want to reach over and hug him, but you don’t know if you should.

“Please don’t tell me the next one is going to be better. I’m tired of hearing that” he says flopping back on the sofa, he feels exhausted like he’s never before.

“I won’t,” you say, reaching over for his hand again, this time he holds onto it, not wanting to let go.

Race 3 Italian Grand Prix 2020

For a ferrari driver, the race in Monza is always the highlight of the season. Jungkook hasn’t gotten used to the fans and attention, but this week has been unreal. Everywhere he turns, he sees someone in red, he realises just how important this race is.

Jungkook: Where are you? He hadn’t heard much from you after the race in Australia, you had mentioned something about taking a little trip while in Italy but he didn’t know you if you were going to be here for the race. You had a plan, you were supposed to explore the Italian countryside and have all the pasta your heart desired for. This was supposed to be the year of fun and travelling around, instead you were laying on the crappy hotel bed with an ice pack on your back.

You: In bed at the hotel, my back hurts like hell Jungkook: What happened?

There’s no response from you for another hour and Jungkook’s all anxious and worried. He’s spaced out for most of the qualifying debrief and Phillip takes note.

“You alright man?” Phillip asks as most of the staff members leave the room. “Just worried about the race, I haven’t been off to the best start” it wasn’t all a lie, Jungkook was worried like he’s never been before about his performance.

Phillip knew Jungkook was his biggest competition, at the end of the day they were fighting for the same title but he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for Jungkook, maybe because he was once a tensed rookie driver.

Jungkook doesn’t let the amazing qualifying performance get to his head. Starting ahead in a race always make his chances of winning the race, but right now tomorrows race is not what he’s thinking about.

“Jungkook?” you exclaim as you swing the door open for him, Jungkook has a wide toothy smile as he shows you the box of pizza he picked up on his way.

“Feeling better?” he asks as you sit on the bed, waiting for him to join you. Jungkook can see how not okay you are based on how difficult it is for you to move.

“Why’s there a sad box of steamed veggies too?” “That’s my dinner, what are you watching?” he asks, sitting against the headboard too. Jungkook’s starting to understand your obsession with the office as he watches along with you. He notices how you turn around every now and then to see if he finds a joke funny, like you are testing him.

You know Jungkook’s in bed by 10 on a night before the race, he’s very particular about his sleep schedule. You reduce the volume when you hear his soft snores beside you, his head awkwardly resting against the headboard can’t be good.

“Jungkook,” you call for him gently, shuffling closer to him. You’re close enough to be able to count his eyelashes, in a moment of weakness, your hand softly grazes his hair off his face.

“Come on, we can’t have your neck hurting tomorrow morning” you say, softly patting his cheeks, this does wake him up. He begrudgingly gets up from the bed, his head knows what the right thing to do is but his heart wants five more minutes.

“Thank you” you whisper to him as he puts on his shoes, he looks back at you with confusion, “For what?” he asks as he watches you stand up in front of you.

You don’t answer his question, instead you get on your tiptoes and softly lay a kiss on his cheeks, “Good luck for tomorrows race”

“You’ve done it mate! That’s P1 in Monza!” Jungkook’s engineer cheers on the radio and his mind goes blank as he enters the cool down lap.

“Fuck, FUCK, Unbelievable!” Jungkook’s short of words as he brings the car to an holt, he has the same feeling he had in Singapore, the feeling is winning is like nothing else.

Jumping out the cockpit, Phillip is already celebrating his second position with the team as he joins them. “Congrats Jeon!” Phillip sounds ecstatic as he greats the younger man. Everything is a blur to Jungkook after he jumped on the team, shouts as he celebrated.

Jungkook’s hair smells like champagne as he gets back to the hotel room, he noticed that you weren’t watching the race from Hospitality like you usually do. He can’t help but smile as he notices a few texts from you. You: CONGRATUALTIONS JUNGKOOK!!!!!!! You: I jumped so hard when you won, might have injured my back more You: So fucking happy for you!!! You: Internet on the flight sucked but I watched you win!!Jungkook: Flight? You: Yeah I flew back to Monaco, my back was getting worse and I wanted to see my doc before it became unbearable Jungkook: hope you feel better :( You: I wished I could’ve seen you win in person :( Jungkook: Don’t worry, I’ll win more races just so you can see me win more

Race 4 Portugal Grand Prix 2020

“The two of you getting along? Is the bromance flourishing yet?” the interviewer asks the ferrari drivers and the two of them break into loud, hysterical laughter.

“I’ve had more dinner’s with Jungkook this year than I’ve had with my girlfriend, so I’d say we’re getting there,” Phillip says and the crowd laughs along with them.

You watch the two of them get another round of questions about the coming race, and it’s fresh to see Phillip getting along so well with a teammate. This had been an issue for him in the past, but friendship with Jungkook came naturally to him.

You click on another pre race promotional video of the two of them, it’s a chaotic game of Song Challenge. The basic premise of the game being the one to guess most of the song names, winning.

“Oh god, this is my game to lose, I don’t listen to a lot of music” Phillip confesses and Jungkook looks at him like he’s confessed to a murder. The game starts as a fun, silly thing but by the end of it, Jungkook’s literally jumping up with excitement when he guesses each song correctly.

“How did you even know all this, you’ve guessed most of them within ten seconds” Phillip grumples, clearly losing this game.

“I listen to music, lots and lots of it” Jungkook says cocklily as the final song plays. The two of them wonder what the song is for a while till Phillip smashes the buzzer.

“Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol” Phillip yells with excitement, knowing he’s right about this.

“You don’t recognise Beyonce’s song but recognise this song?” Jungkook asks with a sour look on his face, he is not a pretty loser. “It’s my sisters favourite song”

“Today was your second pole position of the season, how does it feel?” the interviewer asks right after the race.

“Well, finishing P3 is nothing compared to P1 but it’s exciting to see Ferrari finish with a double podium” Jungkook answers by fixing his cap.

“Around lap 50 you were asked to let Phillip through, sending him from P4 to P1 subsequently,” the interviewer isn’t asking a question, he’s stating a fact to get a rise out of Jungkook.

“Well Phillip was going for the fastest lap and I was happy to let my teammate through,” Jungkook answered pragmatically.

“Are you worried that strategies like these are going to place you as the number two driver in Ferrari?” he has to take a long deep breath before he answers.

“It’s about playing the long game, my team mate is always going to be my biggest competition but at the same time I want to establish my relationship with Ferrari.”

Jungkook looks pissed as he walks away from that interview. It had only been four races so far, but this was each reporter's favourite question, wanting to know if he was brought on board just to help Phillip win the championship.

Jungkook: Are you going to be attending the race in Spain? You: Nope, dad’s going to be attending, I still have some getting better to do Jungkook: :( you feeling any better? You: A lot, even did some yoga today You: I’ll definitely be there in Monaco ;) Jungkook: Are you cleared to do yoga? You: Yes I am , just some stretching and meditation Jungkook: Please be careful… also I have a favour to ask

Race 5 Spanish Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook’s apartment is nothing you imagined it to be, it’s emptier than expected. It’s a humble two-bedroom apartment that’s surprisingly empty. He’d asked if you could be there while someone delivered and built two beds. He'd been sleeping on a mattress on the ground for all three months of the winter break he spent in this apartment.

Jungkook wanted to fix up the apartment mainly because his parents were flying down to watch the race and stay with him while he got a week off between races in Monaco.

“How was qualifying?” you ask Jungkook on facetime, you’re still at his apartment late in the evening.

“P4, could’ve been better,” he sighs as he lays down on the bed, all he was looking forward to was the few days off in the coming week, he desperately wanted to do nothing.

“It’ll be fine, onto more important things. Why aren’t there any plates in your apartment?” you ask and Jungkook laughs, imagining you going through his sad, empty kitchen.

“Because I mostly ate out or ate directly from the pan” “You have two playstations, a full shelf full of marvel figurines, a very expensive racing stimulator but no fucking plates?” your outrage seems adorable to him.

“It’s about what’s important and plates clearly didn’t make the cut” “Well, I bought you a set, and also some snacks and fruits for your parents. I also hung up the curtains you very clearly gave up on, how were you living like this” you ask and he chuckles getting cozy in bed.

“Don’t strain your back for me” Jungkook pleads and you smile looking straight at him.

“I am not, this is just a way for me to distract myself from the fact that I’m bad at studying, it’s almost like I forgot how to study” you sigh sinking deep into his very comfortable sofa.

“How about, to return the favour, I help you study. You might not know this, but I’m very academically gifted” he brags nuzzling his head into the pillow, he’s exhausted from thee day and minutes from falling asleep.

“You need to be spending time with your parents Jeon” you tease, watching his heavy eyes. “I can make some time for you”

Tonight is a rare night as your father and you both watch the race from the living room instead of actually being there. Your father would attend most races in person if he could.

“You want some more?” you ask your father as you get yourself another glass of wine.

“No, I have an early morning with my accountant” silence envelops the living room again as you two silently watch the race. Your relationship with your father has always been a little awkward and distant. You’d spent most of your young years training and skating, your mother was more involved in your life while your father focused on Phillip.

“So, how’s the studying going?” he asks in an attempt to make some small talk.

“Going well, still trying to figure out my plans for college. I’m thinking business or advertising” you offer some more information than he asked, wanting to keep him in the loop.

“Have you thought about real estate? Not to brag but you are related to one of the biggest real estate moguls in Monaco” he says and you chuckle sitting up straight on the sofa.

“I’ve never thought about it, do you think I could do that?” you ask and he nods looking straight at you.

“You can do anything you put your mind on, remember how you’d fall on the ice every five minutes when you first started” he recounts with a grim smile on his face.

“How about this, you come with me to work next monday, spend the day at the office, get to see what a day’s work actually entails?” he offers and you seriously think about it before mumbling. The two of you talk some more about work that you almost miss Phillip finishing third in the race, and Jungkook second.

Race 6 Monaco Grand Prix 2020

“I haven’t been on a date in ages and it’s making me anxious” Lando confesses to Jungkook as they’re walking back from a free practice. Lando was a driver at McLaren, similar to Jungkook’s age so they naturally got friendly towards each other.

“I haven’t been on a date in… a year” Jungkook says and Lando gives him a scoff.

“Why? Not to sound gay but you’re a hot dude Jeon” Lando says and Jungkook laughs hysterically. Jungkook hadn’t ever thought of himself as special looking until he started driving in Formula 2, most of the attention he garnered was based on his looks. The craze just went deeper as he joined Ferrari, at least it has landed him sponsorships with major brands.

“How about we go clubbing after the race, there’s a ton of amazing places here and we got to party when in Monaco” Jungkook agrees to it immediately, he needs to let loose and party a little.

Jungkook: where you at? You: hospitality lounge, chatting with your parents You: they just told me the adorable story of you finding out Santa isn’t real at the ripe age of 10 You: Adorable! Jungkook: Why?? Don’t? You: They’re fun! your mother has a ton of baby pictures on her phone ;) You: The particular pictures of you and sister having a tea party, immaculate! Jungkook: Don’t you need to be studying some algebra? You: Don’t you need to be getting ready for qualifying?

“Don’t fight Jungkook, he’s faster” Phillip’s engineer tells him on the radio as the two of them go tyre to tyre on another turn. Jungkook started the race behind Phillip, and midway through the race the two of them were fighting to get ahead.

“Tell him to back off” “He’s on new tyre’s Phillip, he’s faster. We’re going with strategy 3” his engineer says and Phillip groans but doesn’t fight Jungkook anymore.

This is all Jungkook needed because within seconds the gap between them is increasing to great lengths, Phillip can’t deny Jungkook’s amazing skills that let him be so fast.

“That’s another victory for you mate! P1 in Monaco” “Yes, YESSSS, AGHHHHHHHHH!!” Jungkook had a lot of motives to push through tonight's race, he wanted his parents to see him win, he wanted you to see him win.

Jungkook spots you by your parents, he sends a victory wink your way as he bites his lip with excitement.

For the post-race press conference, the Ferrari drivers are paired together and Phillip isn’t very delighted about it. “Talking about the race today, the two of you seemed to be fighting around lap 30, and Phillip you were asked to not fight Jungkook, which ultimately cost you P1 today, how do you feel about strategy calls like these?” the reporter asks and Jungkook bites his cheek, knowing this isn’t an easy question to answer.

“It was a team call I wasn’t super delighted with but I wasn’t going to cost the team points because of my selfishness” Phillip answers truthfully and Jungkook continues staring around blankly, not willing to give any fodder to the reporters.

“Your team mate seems to be much faster in the same car as you, do you feel threatened about your position as the world champion?” another interviewer asks and Phillip smiles tightly. “I’m driving to win and so is Jeon”

Jungkook ends up at a yacht party instead of the club, he looks around for you as he gets himself a drink. “Check out the chick at 2 o’clock” Lando says and Jungkook turns around as nonchalantly as he can, he doesn’t check out the chick but he does spot you talking to some other man.

“Not really my type” Jungkook says chugging his drink in one go, his mood is definitely different now.

“What is your type?” Lando asks and Jungkook laughs sarcastically,

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be single” Jungkook takes hold of another drink and downing it again.

“Are you the kind to date to marry?” Lando asks and Jungkook takes a second to think.

“Not necessarily” Jungkook answers and watches you walk up to them.

“Then go talk to that chick-” “Hello boys!” you say cheerfully, greeting the two drivers.

“Jeon’s about to go talk to her” Lando says subtly, pointing at the gorgeous model.

“You are?” you ask, turning to look at Jungkook and he nods, downing his third drink. It’s hard not to look away as Jungkook charms the woman, of course he’d go up and talk to the gorgeous woman, why wouldn’t he.

“So, what about you? Should we find someone for you too?” Lando asks as you stare blankly at your drink, why’d you delude yourself into thinking Jungkook was remotely interested in you.

“Who’s he and why is he making bedroom eyes at you?” Lando asks, talking about the friend you were talking to earlier, just an old friend you ran into.

“The hell are bedroom eyes?” you ask with disgust and Lando chuckles at you bringing forth another shot of vodka for the two of you.

“I think the name’s self explanatory, come on go talk to him. Tonight, I’m the wingman for everyone” Lando says and you shake your head with disappointment, absolutely in no mood to talk to someone. ‘I think I’m gonna go home”

Jungkook: hey? did you get home safely? You weren’t expecting this text from Jungkook the next morning, putting down your cup of coffee, you contemplate what to say. You: Yeah, I saw the million pictures. You must’ve had fun Jungkook partying had taken up your explore page, around sometime that night he took over the mic and started singing, how could someone sound so good while being drunk off their mind? Jungkook: It was, would've been more fun if you were there This is why you were delusional about him, texts like these You: Why? The model wasn’t any fun Jungkook: She isn’t really my type You are enticed to ask him if you are, but you don’t. You: Go back to sleep, enjoy your day off

Race 7 Azerbaijan Grand Prix 2020

Lily has a semester break from college, so she decided you join you. The two of you spend all of friday and saturday exploring the beautiful city of Baku.

“Are you really going to work for your father?” Lily asks as the two of you sit down at a restaurant for dinner.

“Yes, right now I’m just learning and doing some of his assistant work and it might look boring but it’s better than doing nothing. Plus, I get to attend most race weekends” you explain reading the menu, your father was adamant on attending all the races, at least the European one’s and he had the fortunes to do that.

“So, taking this job has nothing to do with your massive crush on a certain driver” Lily asks and you’re starting to regret being a little too truthful with Lily.

“It’s just a teeny tiny one and it’s going to go away, this is all about supporting my brother” it was partly that, Phillip was all on his own during this early years as a driver, it’s nice to have family around.

“Why won’t you just ask him out?” Lily sounds frustrated about all this, to her all this looks very simple.

“Can we drop this and talk about your disaster of love life? Still sleeping with that professor” you ask with a teasing smile and Lily groans, hate being put on the spot.

“He’s barely a professor” “He’s 35” you retort and Lily is tempted to throw the water in your face.

The car starts feeling weird to Jungkook mid way through the race, between trying to get control of the car, he’s hit by someone and this causes him to lose all control on the brakes.

“Break fail! I have no control on the breaks” Jungkook’s panicked voice booms through the radio and everyone watches as he crashes into the side, taking two other cars out with him.

“Jungkook, are you okay?” his engineer asks and he groans, having hit his head pretty bad. The red flags are issued as an ambulance rushes to him, you shaking with nervousness as Jungkook is barely pulled out the car.

“We’re told from the medical officials that Jeon might be concussed, maybe even injured because of the sheer speed at which he hit the barriers. Let’s get a replay on the incident that caused this” the commentator says as you watch Phillip hit Jungkook on a turn, and him crashing the car at a dangerous speed.

You don’t notice the tears that well up in your eyes as you hear the ambulance sirens. Shutting your eyes, all you can see is the last few things you saw after your very ungraceful fall on the ice. Clutching your heart, you remember Phillip tightly clutching your hand as you were driven to the hospital, how every part of your body seared with pain. You open your eyes to stop reliving that day, but the massive tv’s in front of you focus on the ambulance that is driving a probably very injured Jungkook.

“Seriously, I want to be by myself right now” Jungkook’s getting a little irritated by all the people crowding his hotel room. He was a little woozy after the crash, but the doctor cleared him of any concussion, he just had a sprained wrist.

His team principal and trainer are the last to leave, checking on him for the millionth time. Jungkook sits up against the headrest as he checks some messages from other drivers checking up on him. You: Please text me when you’re fine Jungkook: I promise you I’m fine but can you still come and visit me :( You: Of course, which hospital are you at? Jungkook: I’m not at a hospital Jungkook: room no. 1011, I’ve left the door open for you

“Jungkook?” you ask knocking on his door and it swings open before he can answer, you’re not proud of it but you might have run up to his room.

The worried look on your face is still there as you gently pad over to him, Jungkook confusion grows as you wipe your tears.

“Hey, hey, ___, I’m not hurt at all. I fainted a little before but-” “You fainted?” you ask with a small voice as your big brown eyes look at him.

“It was because of dehydration” he says as he pulls you closer with one swift move, you sit opposite him, still shaking with fear.

“I know this is kind of a big ask, but can you stay here? Just for tonight?” Jungkook asks fiddling with your hand.

“You want me to?” you ask from beside him and he nods, your eyes are bloodshot red still, he doesn’t want you all by yourself right now.

All the lines are crossed that night as you cuddle closer to Jungkook. You know this isn’t going to end well, but right now you couldn’t care less. His hand is gently rubbing your back as your head lies on his chest.

Jungkook knows that you’re obviously working through something else, probably about your incident on the ice. The two of you never talk about it, Jungkook doesn’t know how to bring it up, or if he should ever bring it up. Jungkook knows that the situation is shitty, but he is happy about you being in his arms, he could get used to it

Race 8 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

“Why?” Jungkook asks as he’s walking to the Ferrari office. It’s a meeting and photoshoot heavy day for him.

“Because I have a job now, even if it’s sorting my father’s emails and arranging his meetings, I can’t be there every weekend” you explain calmly as you swivel around in your office chair.

“What’s your day like today?” he asks as a fan stops him for a picture, he’s becoming better at being popular as every race happens.

“We have a few apartment showings, so I’ll be shadowing him, start to figure out if I want to do this or not” you say sipping on your coffee, you’d been arriving early at the office to have some moments of peace before the chaos starts.

“What is your day like?” you ask him and he just grunts, knowing how bad it is to sit through meetings.

“I have a strategy meeting, another meeting with the communications team, lunch with a bunch of promoters and in the evening we’re shooting a bunch of videos for ferrari’s youtube channel” Jungkook reiterates his schedule for the day, and he’s already starting to feel tired.

“Press has just been awful since the last race, no wonder we’re having comms meeting two days in a row” Jungkook had been trying to stay away from the negative headlines but everyone was absolutely shitting on Phillip this week.

“They like pitting you and Phillip against each other, last week was all the ammunition they needed” you had been screening all the click baity articles, they were absolutely making Phillip lose his mind.

“Do you think he hit me on purpose or was I really in his blind spot?” Jungkook asks opening the door to the conference room, most people are already here. Phillip is already slouched against a chair, looking defeated already.

“No comments” “Boo Freaking Hoo” he says and you can’t help but smile like a stupid idiot.

“Call me later if you can” you say and Jungkook hums a goodbye as he takes a seat opposite Phillip.

“So, lots of bad press, people are divided” Claudia says, placing down multiple article print outs and newspapers on the table.

“And thank you Phillip for snapping at the sky sports reporter, just handing them their headlines” this hasn’t been Phillip’s week, and he’s done with cameras and reporters.

“We need to take hold of the narrative or at least change it because the sponsors aren’t happy with the two drivers seemingly fighting each other. How about you go golfing or something this tuesday” Claudia suggests and Phillip immediately nods his head no.

“He can’t golf to save his life and I have my sister’s birthday party that day-” “So, just invite Jungkook, because I really need the news narrative to change” Claudia says with an authoritative tone, the two of them can’t even think about going against her.

“I don’t want to intrude on a family thing-” Jungkook sounds a little offended by the whole situation, mostly he’s a little ticked off about you not telling him about your coming birthday.

“It’s not, it’s a surprise party with a few friends, I was going to invite you anyway” Phillip says and Claudia smiles widely.

“This is sorted then, I need at least a story with the birthday girl on the two of your Instagram’s” The two of them are left alone as Claudia leaves, there’s still this animosity in the air.

“Just so we’re clear, I didn’t hit your car on purpose,” Phillip says, looking Jungkook square in his eyes.

“I know that,” Jungkook replies, a little too confidently. “How can you be so sure?” Phillip asks as he sits up straight.

“You’re competitive, not petty” Jungkook leaves with a big smirk on his face, he’s been enjoying the season so far a little too much.

You: P3!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! You: Still have that migraine? Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me about your birthday being next week? You: How’d you come to find out about it? You: Did Phillip tell you? You: He is throwing me a surprise party isn’t he? Jungkook: Wow you derived to the bottom of it pretty quickly Jungkook: I mean no, I don’t know of a party if there is one Jungkook: Why didn’t you tell me? You: Because I’m not the kind of person who celebrates their birthday Jungkook: But there are other people who want to celebrate you turning twenty You: So, you just confirmed the surprise party Jungkook: If this get’s back to Phillip he might actually push me off the track intentionally this time You: Now I understand why Lily wanted to take me dress shopping You: Give me more details Jeon! Jungkook: I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re talking about

Race 9 Austrian Grand Prix 2020

It’s week two of the grand prix in Austria but Phillip is suspiciously in Monaco on Monday evening. “Why are you here?” you ask, dropping your handbag and a million other things you take to the office in the hallway.

“I know you know why I’m here because I know Maya sucks at keeping secrets, so just go up and get ready” he says flashing you a big smile. Phillip and you have always tried to celebrate birthdays, between him training and racing and you always practicing, there wasn’t always time to celebrate.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually did this” you squeal with excitement when you see the decked-up ice rink, you’ve always wanted to celebrate on a ice rink.

You’re awed by the classy decoration, one would almost forget that this is an ice rink, a few of your friends already skating around.

“I love you!” you squeal like an excited thirteen-year-old as you hug Phillip, he has a genuine smile on his face too.

“Please be careful tho, I don’t like the smell of hospitals” Phillip says as you watch Maya walk up to you, a little uncharacteristically you hug her tightly too, knowing she had a big part in planning this.

“Girl!!! you look smoking hot, so glad you went with the black one!” Lily comments taking a long look at your dress, it was a simple bodycon with a huge slit up your left thigh.

Jungkook arrives sometime around midnight, right as Phillip walks up with a massive cake and sparklers. Jungkook watches from the crowd as your face lights up with delight, he’s truly never seen you this happy. Your smile is contagious, infectious, he always wants you smiling like you were when you shoveled cake in Phillip’s face.

“Staring a little too much are we?” Lily comments from beside Jungkook and he snaps out of it, turning around and flashes the familiar face a polite smile.

“Am I being too obvious?” Jungkook doesn’t try to deny the accusation as he sheepishly ruffles his hair again, a nervous tick.

“The two of you are hopeless, go on, talk to her” truth be told, Lily was getting a little tired of your pinning on Jungkook.

Jungkook’s a little powered up by Lily’s comment, maybe there could be something between the two of you. He’s hopeful as he approaches you, maybe it’s the whiskey getting to him.

“Happy Birthday” Jungkook whispers in your ear from behind you, you’re a little startled till he comes around with a smug look.

“Thank you for not telling me about this party!” you shout a little, leaning closer to him. The lights have been cranked down and the music is much louder now.

“Aren’t you going to go on the ice?” he asks and you look up and shake your head no.

“I don’t know if I’m there yet, I’m just happy being in a rink right now” you answer and he takes hold of your hand, leading you away from the crowd.

“I should be back there, dancing and drinking” you whine as the two of you make way to a dimly lit supply office.

“You’ll be back there in no time, I just want to savor the moment of giving you your gift” he says, finally coming to a stop. You hop on the desk, outreaching your hands for the gift.

To your amusement, he places a tiny box in your palms, looking at you expectantly. You gasp as you pick up the delicate ring from the box, it’s a simple gold ring with an ice skate designed in the middle.

Jungkook had prepared a speech in his mind, he had his reasons for why he had this ring made. But at that moment as he watched you slip the ring on your index finger, his mind went blank.

The silence is suffocating the two of you as Jungkook’s hand reaches over to play with the ring, he got your size almost right. His warm hands around the cold band are starting to sober you.

Wordlessly, you pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, stopping right as Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to brace himself.

“I was feeling so heartbroken about the figure skating chapter of my life ending, that’s all I’ve know of myself as, it has made me restless and anxious like never before, and this, is always going to remind me of that heartbreak” you say looking Jungkook straight in his eyes and his heart absolutely shatters, he can hear his heart breaking.

“I didn’t mean to-” you shush him by placing a single finger on his dry lips.

“But it also reminds me of some of the happiest moments of my life, it reminds me of my potential. If I could start skating at the age of four, I can start something new at the age of 20. It gives me hope, you give me hope” you whisper the last part your head rests on his chest. your arms circling around his waist.

Race 10 British Grand Prix 2020

The race in Silverstone has everyone on the paddock a little too excited, maybe it’s because of the upcoming two week summer break that everyone desperately needs. Jungkook is seated with Lando, Phillip and Daniel for another set of press conferences and he’s starting to understand why drivers hate press day so much.

“Question for Jungkook, the first half of the season is almost over and you’re up there on the drivers championship charts just behind Lewis Hamilton and just ahead of your teammate, how does it feel to be considered serious competition in your first year in F1?” a reporter asks, somehow complementing Jungkook and taking a dig at the other two drivers who haven’t had the best year so far.

“This is a very competitive sport by its nature and only 20 superbly skilled drivers get to drive a formula one car, and being able to be on this lineup is a dream come true for me. My first year so far has been filled with highs and lows and it’s surreal to me to be on the top of the list right now, but it all can change in a couple of races. Teams are constantly working on their skills and cars so we never know when the championship takes a turn, right now I’m at a place of cautiousness, a lot can happen over the span of 12 races” Jungkook answers calmly, and Phillip sits back, a little awed.

Phillip has been in the sport longer than Jungkook, but the way Jungkook handles and answers each ridiculous to serious question is motivating for him.

“This has been a very highly requested question, you drive under the number 14, what’s the significance behind it” you’ve been watching another set of interviews of Jungkook, apparently people just can’t have enough of him. Phillip is also very focused on the screen, wishing he was as charismatic as his team mate.

“It’s my mother’s birth date. She was vehemently against me going into racing, she was worried not just about my safety but she also didn’t want me working under this kind of pressure since a young age. Despite that, I made it here, and this was just a way to make her proud and spite her, just a little bit” Jungkook says confidently, making the female reporter chuckle and Phillip scoff.

“His PR manager really spun a great story for him” Phillip says snacking on some popcorn while you turn around to give him a weird look.

“You too drive under our mother’s birthdate” you state and Phillip rolls his eyes, something is definitely up with him.

“That’s because she died, it’s a dedication to her” Phillip says increasing the volume to listen to the interview properly.

“If you weren’t a f1 driver, what would you be doing today?” “I’d be a college student, probably getting a degree in computer science. During my year as a reserve driver, I did some soul searching to really think about a future outside of racing, and computer science is what I landed on” Jungkook says with a charming smile and you watch the interviewer literally swoon for him.

“Who in the hell does soul searching?” Phillip complains again and you turn around to get some answers from him.

“What is up with you today? I thought you liked Jungkook” you ask and he looks away with a guilty look.“I have this feeling that ferrari is pushing for him to win the world championship, they want the youngest driver to win the championship to be him” Phillip offers and you’re the one rolling your eyes this time.

“And why wouldn’t they, he’s smart, handsome, great with press, very skilled, drives fast, he’s the golden boy they’ve been looking for” Phillip has never felt this threatened by a team mate, but with Jungkook there’s something different.

“You’ve been reading too much of all that nonsense gossip, you’re a three time world champion, ferrari wants you to be a four time world champion too” you try and reassure Phillip but he just exhales.

Jungkook’s glad to be seeing his sister and Harper again during his week in the UK, he’s maybe been a little too homesick. Sora and her husband both work in London, and for once he can sleep at a place resembling something close to home rather than another hotel room, even if just for a night.

Sora and him stumble around the kitchen, making the most of their mother’s kimchi for their dinner. “So, who have you been texting all night? Want to talk about her?” Sora has a know it all smirk on her face as she watches Jungkook lock his phone and put it down on the table, screen down.

“Why would you assume that it’s a her?” Jungkook asks, filling the two of their shot glasses with soju.

“It can be a he, she, they for all I care, I know it’s someone you’re interested in romantically” Sora knows Jungkook well, a little too well for his liking.

“I’ve been conflicted about asking her out, I’m worried that she sees me just as a friend and by making a move, I’ll ruin a great friendship” Jungkook comes clean with it, it’d be nice to talk to someone about it.

“I got her this meaningful gift, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but she hugged me. Not that I’m complaining, but it confused me” Jungkook had been racking his brain ever since that night in Monaco, he never stopped thinking about it.

“And there’s this another layer of complexity, she’s related to someone I work with-” “Oh my god, you’re talking about ___” Sora explains loudly, almost waking Harper up.

“Why? How’d you even get to that?” “I saw the two of you during that race in Australia, you were all pissed and grumpy about retiring the car but you came and sat beside her and suddenly you weren’t so pissed off” Sora had made that observation pretty early on, and it makes Jungkook wonder if they haven’t been so lowkey about each other.

“___ likes you” Sora says it like it’s a fact of life, like the world wouldn’t make sense if it weren’t true.

“Make sure to not rub that know-it-all attitude on Harper and explain” Jungkook asks and Sora laughs boisterously.

“Remember when we had that dinner on a yacht, you had some mustard on your hand. A good friend would point it out, maybe even hand you a tissue. Someone who’s interested in you will just swipe the mustard off, like it’s the most natural and sensible thing to do, she wouldn’t cross that line if she wasn’t interested in you” Sora’s explanation leaves Jungkook utterly shocked, Australia was a long time ago, have you been interested in him all this time?

“Is it really that simple?” Jungkook asks, now directly drinking Soju from the bottle. “Love is simple Jungkook”

Summer Break 2020

Summer in Monaco is beautiful, everyone enjoys a host of activities in the mediterranean summer, not that Jungkook would know anything about it. All he’s done for the first week is exercise, train on his stimulator and rot in his apartment, and he’s savored every moment of not having an engagement or meeting.

“Am I travelling somewhere? Nope, I needed a break from airplanes and hotel rooms” Jungkook talks looking straight to his camera as he phenomenally loses a race in a video game. He’s streaming while playing on his stimulator, he used to do this a lot last year, now not so much.

You ring the bell to Jungkook’s apartment a few times but he doesn’t answer, you wonder if the passcode to his apartment is the same one he texted you a few months ago. In a moment of impatience and wanting to pee after a long flight, you type in the code and to your surprise the door opens.

Jungkook hears a door in his apartment close and sits up straight, very alert right now. Namjoon had been begging him to get some security cameras and right now he’s regretting not listening to him. The stream is still going as Jungkook jumps out the seat and gingerly walks out the room.

He picks up a random shoe as he knocks on the occupied bathroom door, what’s his plan with the shoe? He doesn’t know but at least he has something to protect himself with. The world feels like it’s in slow motion as the door swings open, Jungkook was expecting a robber but it’s you, with a very confused look.

“What is with the shoe?” “I thought someone broke into my place” Jungkook whispers, knowing the stream is still live.

“I’ll be back” he says and you follow him into his spare room, “Jungkook what is it-” he shuts you up real nice by placing his palm on your face.

“I have a twitch stream going, go wait in the living room” “Okay” you mumble against his hand and he can’t help but smile.

You feel rejuvenated after spending a week with your grandmother and Phillip, it’s hard to get some quality time with the family all over the place.

Your grandmother on your father’s side lived in the countryside outside London, still in the same house your father was raised in. You had some ulterior motives for flying to Monaco before your father and brother, you had some work to take care of at the office and second, you wanted to spend some time with Jungkook.

And if watching tv and eating too much food counts as quality time, you’ve been doing that all evening since you arrived this morning.

Your head is itching very close to Jungkook’s shoulder the more episodes of the office you watch. He feels your head flop on his chest somewhere before 9, he turns to find you deep in sleep.

If he was a good friend, he’d wake you up, maybe even offer to drive you back home. But he was someone with a lot of romantic yet confusing feelings for you, he gently picks you up.

Jungkook lays you on his bed, and tucks you in. He sits by the bed for a minute, taking in every detail of your face, Jungkook’s never noticed how beautiful your eyelashes are before this. He was tempted to lay in the bed beside you, but he does the right thing and struggles with falling asleep in the guest room.

“Oh come on, you’re flying out to France the day after tomorrow. It’ll be race after race, after this weekend! Please just say yes” you plead over the phone as you walk back from the office.

Jungkook wasn’t the clubbing type, neither were you. But seeing all your friends having the best time of their lives all summer was giving you fomo.

“It’s going to me Lily, Stuart, you and I. I got us access to this new club’s vip lounge and I need you to say yes” “Who’s Stuart?” Jungkook asks drying his hair with a towel.

“Lily’s situationship, can you pick me up from my place around 11, we can get a cab from here” Jungkook doesn’t like a lot about this plan, clubbing, going someplace after 11, paying for expensive bad drinks, but he whispers a yes anyway.

Jungkook rings the bell at your family’s townhouse right at 11 pm, you don’t need to know that he’s been waiting on the stoop for five minutes. Swinging the door open, you smile with delight as Jungkook brings forward his hand with the prettiest set of flowers.

“These are for me?” It's surprising because most people don’t show up with flowers before they go clubbing.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to come here empty handed” he makes the most unbelievable excuse, but you take the flowers anyway, you haven’t been given flowers, ever.

“I just need a minute to accessorise,” Jungkook isn’t listening the second he takes a good look at your very short, red dress.

“So, are you excited about getting back in the car?” you ask Jungkook as he takes a seat on the bed, through the vanity mirror you catch him staring.

“I’m thinking sneakers because heels are just impractical but it’s a fancy place so I want to be presentable” you say, bending a little with your back still facing him. Jungkook clears his throat nervously as you turn around, clearly having caught him checking you out.

“So, this is how I find out you’re an ass man?” his ears are blood red as you tease him.

Jungkook’s suspiciously quiet since you teased him, maybe you’re starting to feel bad about it. He makes some small talk with Stuart, but none with you.

“We’re going to get drinks, shots for everyone!” Lily and Stuart leave to get drinks the moment you get there, probably to make out in the bathroom.

“I am so sorry about earlier but please talk to me” you shout to Jungkook, sliding closer to him in the booth. The low lights and loud music are a reason enough for the two of you to be sitting so close.

“Sorry? I should be the one apologizing, it was inappropriate of me-” “I love how super sweet and nice you are, but I’d rather you check out my ass than anyone else's. Does that make sense?” you ask, sliding even closer, till your bare thigh is touching his.

This flusters Jungkook as he looks down sheepishly as he drapes an arm behind you. To your surprise, Stuart and Lily come back with not just shots, but also bottle service.

Around shot number 5 you pull Jungkook up, dancing with him off beat to a trendy pop song. Jungkook watches with loving eyes as Lily and you do a very bad job at dancing and singing to a song.

Jungkook doesn’t watch anymore as you stumble for the third time, he takes hold of you by your waist and the two of you stumble together, Jungkook’s pretty drunk himself.

“Your eyes sparkle, has someone ever told you that?” you had noticed this a long time ago, Jungkook has by far the most beautiful eyes ever.

“I want your eyes when you die” your seriousness makes Jungkook laugh like an idiot, him laughing like that makes you laugh like an idiot and it’s just a vicious cycle of laughter fuelled by vodka.

“I don’t want to go back to my empty home, can I stay with you?” you ask Jungkook as you lean his shoulder. There’s some music playing in the cab and your head is still spinning.

Jungkook has come to the realisation today that it’s hard to say no to you, mostly because of the soft smiles and pleading looks. You clutch onto his palm tightly as you struggle with walking on the cobblestone street.

“You’re sloshed” Jungkook states wrapping an arm around you, the heels were a mistake.

“You smell amazing” you whisper, starting to sober up as the elevator stops on his floor. Jungkook smiles sheepishly as he intertwines his hand with yours, doesn’t let go as the two of you walk into his dark apartment.

The events of the night as coming crashing back to you as you look Jungkook in the eyes, he has this confused look. Reaching over, you crease his stressed eyebrows and your hands drop to his neck, the two of you insanely close to each other.

The moment just feels right, with Jungkook’s arms circling you closer by the waist, you can’t help but lean into his lips, but right at the last second Jungkook turns his face around, your lips landing on his cheek.

“___, we’re wasted” he remarks breathing against your hair and you just nod.

“I have actual feelings for you, and I don’t want to sabotage my chance with you because we were drunk and made a mistake” it’s taking everything in Jungkook to not pin you against the wall and kiss your lips till he forgets how to breath.

“Can we go to bed?” you ask against his chest and he just nods, picking you up again.

Every limb in his body hurts as Jungkook shifts around in bed, he’s sweaty, uncomfortable and your head is nuzzled right in his chest. This isn’t like the time he woke up with you beside him after the accident, there isn’t any distance this time.

Jungkook squirms around and somehow turns the ac on, the cool wind makes you snuggle even closer to Jungkook’s hot body. He wants to detach himself from you and get some water, but since it’s been established that Jungkook is weak for you, he snuggles you back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up it because of pots banging in the kitchen, turning to his side he notices you’ve left the bed, again no one breaking into his place it’s just you.

The events of last night flash in his mind as he brushes his teeth, so many lines crossed, he’s worried that now you’re sober and awake, you regret them.

“So you didn’t have any groceries, all that was in your pantry was ramen and coffee so I made that. And I know you’re watching what you eat so there’s also a side of broccoli but I haven’t cooked broccoli before-“ Jungkook literally crashed you against the kitchen counter as his lips capture yours.

Jungkook kisses you with fervour and it takes you a second to process it, but soon enough your hands are tangled in his hair, biting his lip Jungkook has the most bashful smile as you pull away, absolutely needing to breath.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer” he whispers against your lips as he kisses you again. Right there, as you are smiling against his lips, Jungkook understands what Sora said about love being simple. It’s simple because it’s meant to be, anything else just wouldn’t make sense.

Race 11 French Grand Prix 2020

As it turns out, the weekend of the race things get a little complicated, not between Jungkook and you. Some fan captured Jungkook and you on the way to his apartment and the pictures were all over the internet, the only bright side to the situation, you were the mystery girl, your face wasn’t captured in any of the blurry pictures.

“I’m sorry but I’m not releasing a personal statement, my personal life is none of people’s business and they shouldn’t have been photographing us in the first place” Jungkook says putting away the statement Claudia handed him.

“Okay but you keep it quiet if any reporters bring her up, and please for the love of god be careful.” Claudia leaves with that, she has more important things to take care of.

Namjoon sits back with disappointment, the fans and press are really having their time with this.

“Who was she?” his manager asks as Jungkook does some before race stretches, he’d usually play with a football outside but he’s in no mood for press or fans.

“Are you going to see her again?” Jungkook does answer this question with a simple nod.

“This isn’t like you, you aren’t the hooking up kind” “We didn’t hook up, hyung I really care about her and I don’t want our relationship to end even before it starts. Can you have the press go easy on this?” Jungkook pleads and Namjoon sighs standing up.

“I’ll try, maybe you’ll have to do a special interview with one. Give them something else to talk about”

Jungkook: it’s 10pm, where are you :((( You: Maya arranged a dinner to celebrate Phillip’s win, we’re on our way back to the hotel Jungkook: What about soothing my loss of coming second Jungkook: I had a thing planned You: I’ll be there in a few minutes, just stay put Jungkook: room 1202, I’m waiting

“So, we’re getting drinks with a few other drivers and their partners, wanna tag along?” Maya asks the four of you leave the restaurant. It was an amazing French delicacy restaurant but all you could focus on the entire time was being back at the hotel.

“I’ll just tag back with dad, we have a early flight and-“ “oh my god you are dating Jungkook aren’t you” Maya accuses you with a whisper as she pulls you aside.

“That’s just, um, how did you even, we aren’t dating Maya” you as a little frazzled by the accusation and Maya just gasps loudly.

“Because we bought that red dress together, you weren’t so sure, I thought you looked amazing, later we also had that conversation about me borrowing that dress and oh my god you’re dating him aren’t you” Maya accuses you and again you try and defend yourself.

“We aren’t, that night we just went clubbing, fell asleep at his apartment and kissed in the morning. But we absolutely aren’t dating” this isn’t you defending yourself, this is you spilling the beans the first chance you get.

“So, where do you guys stand now?” this question stuns you, you haven’t talked to him about the two of you since that morning. It’s too soon to ask that question.

“I don’t know but you can’t tell Phillip, he’ll go all big brother and I want to figure it out myself”

Jungkook’s suite is suspiciously quiet as you make your way in, things start to make sense as you catch Jungkook who’s fallen asleep while waiting for you. There’s also a table set with food, wine, candles and flowers right by him.

“Jungkook, come on let’s get you to bed” you say sitting by him as your fingers tap his cheek. He stirs awake right away, smiling when he realises it’s you.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, come on you’ll sprain your neck” you say as he sits up straight but Jungkook’s not listening to you. He just pulls you up with him and walks over to the set-up table.

“I thought we could have our first date tonight, even though you’ve eaten already and it’s too late for dinner” Jungkook whispers in your ear as he pulls a chair for you.

Jungkook lights up the candles and pour some wine before he takes the seat across you. “Now tell me, what’s your favourite color?” he asks as you laugh putting down your wine glass.

“Really, that’s the big opening question” “Yes, this is quintessential first date question, now tell me” he pleads with his glimmering eyes and you give in.

“Sage green, what about you?” you ask and he smiles looking down at his hands.

“Guess” “Blue?” you suggest and Jungkook really thinks about it, he’s never really thought about what his favourite color was, but the way you lit up when he nodded yes to your guess, it might as well be.

Race 12 Belgian Grand Prix

It’s a few days before the race, Tuesday to be precises and Jungkook has an invaluable off day with no schedule or work at all. He decided the best thing to do was explore the city of Brussels, with you.

Jungkook had the entire day planned, which started with a bright and early morning of exploring the city and it’s beautiful architecture. “So, is this our second date?” you ask Jungkook as the two of you put on sunglasses and hats before leaving the hotel, hopefully no pictures are taken this time.

“I guess” “Hopefully today tops the cold pasta and warm wine” you joke fixing his beanie.

“It was a spectacular first date! you laughed so hard you choked on that warm wine” he whines circling his arms around you.

“If you want a third or any more dates with me, promise me you’re never going to bring that up again” you whisper, leaning dangerously close to him.

“I’m making no such promises” Jungkook whispers before kissing you, every kiss with him is full of the same fervour as that morning.

“Come on, we have the city to explore” you say pushing his chest away and he groans, seizing the distance again.

“How about I explore every inch of your body instead” he says pulling on your earlobe just a little. The previous smile on your face is replaced by a tighter, forced one as you again push him back.

“As tempting as that offer is, we’d regret not making the most of the day” you say pulling him out the hotel room by his arm and Jungkook slides down his hand, intertwining it with yours.

The night was getting darker as the two of you walked back to the hotel, hand in hand. To put it simply, it had been one of the most perfect and romantic day and you were starting to dread having a difficult conversation with Jungkook.

“Hey, so, um, kinda wanted to come right out with it because it’s very embarrassing for me” you say and Jungkook stops in his tracks and quirks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook’s voice is laced with concern and you have to look away.

“Nothing is wrong per say, but, um like, how do I say it without me sounding like a complete weirdo?” “It can’t be that bad” Jungkook pleads and you scoff, knowing it’s a little bad.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend, not that I’m assuming that we are a couple. Since I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never been with someone, sexually. I just never had the chance before, and someone right never came along and now I’m this 20-year freak with no dating experience at all. I’d understand if you never want to see me again, I’d be fine with pretending we never-“

“___, breath” Jungkook says cradling your face and forcing you to see him in the eyes.

“You’re not some freak, you’re only 20 it’s natural to not be that experienced. We can take it at a pace you’re comfortable with, I promise I’ll be patient with you” Jungkook reassures you and you’re worries about this are starting to fade away.

“It’s just that I gave this speech to some other guy and he didn’t react so well” you say hugging him tightly.

“Well, give me that jerks name so I can punch him square in the face” Jungkook chuckles as he kisses the top of your head.

“If you’re going to go around punching people for me, I have a list” you laugh and Jungkook detaches himself, giving you a knowing look.

“What else are boyfriends for if not to punch people that have wronged their girlfriends”

You: Please be careful with the rain and all, I don’t want another incident Jungkook: I’ll try, if there is one just no crying this time You: I’ll try Jungkook: Also, when I win, if I say ‘yeah baby’ on the radio, know that I’m saying that to you You: ‘When’, little too cocky aren’t we Jeon Jungkook: You’re my girlfriend now, you have to support me, in cockiness and health

You’re a blushing mess as you re read Jungkook’s text, it’s a little unbelievable being called his girlfriend. Tonight, it’s just you, your books and the race on the tv.

“And there goes Jeon Jungkook, crossing the checkered flag a whole 5 seconds ahead of his teammate at P1, this win is puts him whole 12 points ahead of his teammate and at the top of the championship” the commentator cheers and the crowd goes wild.

“That’s P1 mate and at the top of the championship, you were stunningly fast this race!!” the team principal cheers on Jungkook through the radio as he doesn’t stop the random shouting out of joy.

“Thanks for the team, this car has been delivering race after race. So incredibly lucky to be driving a ferrari, seriously so fucking lucky. YEAH BABY!!!!!!” Jungkook cheers and you’re blushing so hard it’s embarrassing. Race 13 Netherlands Grand Prix 2020

“You’ve won seven races this season, eight if you win tomorrow, it must feel incredible to be this close to winning the championship” the reporter says and Jungkook chuckles looking away.

“Winning always feels incredible, things have been working out so positively for me that it feels surreal. Eight months ago I was thinking of giving up on my F1 dream and now I’m here and there are days when this doesn’t feel real” Jungkook says as Phillip comes around for his interview.

Things had been tense in the Ferrari garage to put it simply. There had been far too many strategy meetings out of which Phillip had stormed out of. He’d also made some comments regarding the team favouring Jungkook and devising strategy that helped Jungkook get closer to the championship, it had been a PR disaster.

“Now Phillip, Ferrari has clearly produced a winning car but you’ve had fierce competition from your team mate. Are you still hopeful about winning the championship?” another interviewer asks and Phillip tries very hard to not roll his eyes.

“Well Jeon is a fast driver and I could learn a few things about his break skills, but I have seven-year experience of driving on these tricky circuits so I’m hopeful” Phillip answers the way he’s been advised by his PR team, the interviewer can sense the fakeness in his tone.

“Ferrari has not historically been a team that gambles on young drivers but the bet they made on Jeon Jungkook is clearly working out. Now your contract is up to expire next year, do you feal threatened by the younger driver replacing you?” this time Phillip does roll his eyes.

“Ferrari isn’t in the game for gambling, they’re in the game for winning, and I win”

“Your brother called me pretty boy during a comms meeting, I was offended and delighted at the same time” Jungkook says placing his phone against the pillow, it was race day tomorrow he had to sleep early.

“Can we not talk about work, I don’t want you bitching about my brother. Phillip just got done bitching about you” you groan shuffling in bed yourself, you’d spent the entire Saturday studying and you were starting to get better.

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me? I’ve been nothing but nice to him” Jungkook groans and you sit up in bed and groan too.

“Phillip’s always been competitive, when we were little, he once made me cry after I won against him in chess. This isn’t your issue, it’s his” you say sighing with defeat, the better the season got for Jungkook, the worse it got for Phillip.

“How many men have made you cry ___? There are only so many punches I can throw” Jungkook tries and joke to make this situation a little less tense, he’s successful based on the way you’re smiling.

“I’m starting to miss you, luckily I’ll be there next week” “Starting to? You’re starting to miss me after two weeks?” Jungkook’s offended tone only makes you laugh harder and him more offended.

The race starts off fine, the race is almost a little boring till lap 30. “The two ferrari are once again one tenth of a second away from each other. The two drivers have been competing with each other all season and, OH turn 3 and Phillip tries and overtake Jeon but Jeon maintains his P1 position” the commentator says and you’re sitting on the edge of your seat as Phillip fails at overtaking again.

“Phillip box now, box now” “I’ll box after I’m done overtaking” Phillip yells over the radio and you wince, taking a big swig of your beer.

“Please the strategy is to maximize distance with competition and you need to box-“ “Shut up!” Phillip yells and manoeuvres an overtake and you gasp with shock as the two ferrari’s make contact.

“What is wrong with him?” Jungkook asks frustratingly over the radio as he somehow keeps the lead.

“Phillip please don’t damage the car, box now box now-“ “And the two ferrari’s make contact again, Jeon’s rear crashing with Phillip’s front wing, taking both the cars out” you look at the tv in shock, knowing this isn’t going to end well.

Jungkook’s searing red with anger as he walks into the garage, he takes quick strides towards Phillip who’s talking to an engineer and pushes him back by the shoulders.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook shouts and the engineer stands between the two of them, not wanting any more of this happen on camera.

“Look I’m sorry, I should have listened to-“ “Damn right you should’ve! Your ego cost us so many points, FUCK!” Jungkook walks away as he notices the sheer amount of camera’s around them.

Race 14 Italian Grand Prix 2020

“I think I’m going to need the two of you to hold hands or kiss in public” Claudia says very seriously and Jungkook snickers, tired of this week already. It’s safe to say the press has been having their fun with the articles and headlines, to be fair the two of them handed them everything on a silver platter.

“This isn’t my problem, I wasn’t the one who attacked my car. I have been complaint with the decided strategy, even when it didn’t favour me, that’s because I know how to be a team player” Jungkook says standing up and putting his cap back on.

“He’s right, I just need to go through some difficult press questions and be done with this” Phillip says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks. It had been bad for Jungkook but it had been absolutely shitty for Phillip. Usually, Jungkook would be understand, maybe even sympathise but he’s angry still.

“I have a list of questions and answers prepared, the two of you will absolutely stick to it” Claudia says handing the two drivers a big stack of papers. Jungkook is ready to leave the garage when Phillip jogs up to him.

“Look, you were right, I let my ego get the best of me. Can we hash it out with dinner?” Phillip asks tapping Jungkook on his shoulder. “I have dinner plans with my girlfriend” Jungkook dismisses the proposal immediately and Phillip lets out a defeated sigh.

This has been the worst week of his life, and watching the office with you is a great escape. “Why are you so fidgety tonight?” Phillip asks as he plops on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn. There was only one reason for you being this fidgety, Jungkook had planned a romantic dinner, he picked out a restaurant and everything but you had to cancel last minute. Leaving Phillip while he’s a whinny, complaining mess was just not an option.

“I had coffee after 6” you dismiss shovelling a bunch of popcorn in your face.

You: I’m so sorry … You: I promise to make up for this, no matter what it takes You: Jungkook please respond to my texts

Another episode starts and Phillip sits up, wanting to ask you something all this while.

“so, um, I know you had a few therapy sessions after your incident. How did you go about it?” Phillip asks and you finally realise why he wanted to hang out, he was anxious about therapy.

“I’m still in therapy” you say and Phillip looks at you like he doesn’t believe you.

“Therapy can be a difficult, excruciating process, first they usually start with ‘Why do you think you’re here’” you say and Phillip sits up straight, really thinking the question through.

“I have some serious self-esteem issues, it sometimes feels like people give me their time of the day only when I’m successful, and that terrifies me of losing” Phillip’s honestly stuns you, he isn’t the kind to be vocal about his emotions.

“How did your first session go?” Phillip asks, as he turns to look at you.

“So much crying, I remember falling crying to sleep, the first few sessions would leave me exhausted” your head falls back with exhaustion just thinking about it.

“I feel like a bad sibling for letting you crying to sleep, I wish I was there for you” Phillip says reaching for your arm and patting it.

“You were there for me Phillip, and time went by and the thoughts in my head started terrorising me less and less every day.” You are getting a little chocked up just thinking about it, you can’t help but play with the ring signifying your past.

“But you have to be patient, even when the process feels like it’s pushing you to your limits. When it starts feeling like too much, you come to me and we’ll watch the office together” you say and Phillip smiles thankfully.

Phillip leaves after a while, mumbling something about having to call Maya and you’re still stuck on the sofa. Jungkook hasn’t responded to any of your texts and you can already imagine the first fight. Playing with the key card to his hotel room, you’ve missed him so much and a fight is worth having if you get to see him.

His room is pitch dark as it always is as he falls asleep, and you stubbing your toe against the table is enough to wake him up. Jungkook groans as he sits up, resting his naked torso against the headboard. Dodging his eyes you slide into bed beside him, the stiff silence in the room making you anxious.

“Phillip has been in a terrible condition and I just couldn’t tell him I had plans when he wanted to talk to me” you say and Jungkook sighs, turning his head towards you.

“I understand ___” Jungkook says as his hand intertwines with yours.

“You do?” your voice is laced with extreme shock, not expecting this response at all.

“Yes, did I want to spend some quality time with you, also yes” Jungkook says and you turn to face him too.

“How about, tomorrow, we wake up bright and early and have a breakfast date before practice?” you ask and Jungkook answers with a soft kiss. The kiss just intensifies as Jungkook pulls you in his laps, his hands grasping your waist tightly.

Things are starting to get hot and heavy, you can feel his bulge against your centre and it’s driving you insane. Jungkook snaps out of it as your nails leaves some marks around his neck.

“___” he whispers your name as his forehead rests on yours, his hot breath fanning your flushed cheeks.

“We should go back to sleep if we want to be up early tomorrow” Jungkook can’t believe the sheer restraint he’s showing. The two of you snuggle as close as humanly possible and Jungkook sighs against your hair, tonight he’s fine with just getting to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 15 Singapore Grand Prix 2020

“How does it feel being back in Singapore? You left an impressive mark as a mercedes reserve driver just a year ago and now you’re second on the drivers’ championship, what a year it has been” the interviewer asks and Jungkook smiles widely, thinking back to his year.

“Singapore is always going to be special to me and after the win last weekend the team and I are trying to maximize out chances for the championship” Jungkook answers and another interviewer stands up to ask another question.

“Talking about team, how is the tension in the Ferrari garage after the incident in Netherlands?” Jungkook was expecting this question, and Phillip tenses up beside him the second he clears his throat to answer it.

“Well, tensions can be high in this sport when the difference between P1 and P2 are hundredth of second, but we’re working on keeping it civil, Phillip and I are in couples therapy of sorts” Jungkook adlibs the last part, but based on the approving smile Claudia gives, he did good.

“Hey, can we talk?” Phillip asks as they’re leaving the press conference. Jungkook just mutters a sure as they quietly walk to the Ferrari garage.

“I never really apologised to you” Phillip says sitting opposite the Jungkook, the hospitality area is empty after the practice.

“You don’t need to” “No, I do need to. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I’m been an absolute piece of shit” Phillip says and Jungkook chuckles, trying to ease the situation.

“Since I fucked up my chances at the championship this year. I’m not going to block you, anymore” this is uncharacteristic for Phillip, Jungkook doesn’t know if he’s being serious or not.

“Phillip, I’ve admired you as a driver because of how competitive you are. And our competition is what makes racing fun, I don’t want you to stop fighting till the end” Jungkook says and Phillip chuckles, crossing his legs.

“Let’s just steer away from costing the team millions in damages, but there are seven races left, anything can happen” “You’re a polite motherfucker, game on Jeon”

Jungkook is back at the podium after a difficult race, he was sweaty, exhausted but it’s nothing compared to being drenched by champagne.

He spots you cheering and sends a wink your way, all he wishes was for a congratulatory kiss from you, a kiss that tells the entire world that you are with him.

But he waits till he’s back at your hotel room, pinning you against a wall, he hungrily kisses you, his hot hands wandering under your shirt.

“Take off your shirt” you whisper in his ear, tugging on the red ferrari polo. Jungkook toned abdomen distracts you for a second, and Jungkook takes advantage of it, unbuttoning your shirt.

“___ are you sure? We can wait” his question makes you contemplate for a full few seconds.

“How about we test the waters instead” “Third base?” Jungkook asks picking you up as your legs wrap around him instinctually.

Jungkook sits on the bed, you still on his lap as he takes a quick look at you, you seem to shiver with anticipation for what’s about to happen.

“Have I told you just how pretty you are” he says pushing some of your hair out of your face.

“You have, but right now I need you to lay back so I can suck your dick” you surprise him by pushing him back in bed.

“I’m going to fall in love with you if you keep talking like that” he moans lightly at the last part as you cup his bulge. “That’s the plan baby”

Jungkook is not so gently tugging on your nipple as another finger enters you, making you moan even louder. Your hips are shaking with an orgasm as Jungkook reaches for you lips, kissing them gently. Exhausted after the activities of this night, he plops on the bed beside you, the two of you still breathing very heavily.

There’s comfortable silence as Jungkook stands up and returns with a clean towel, wiping you off and getting you some water.

“___, baby, please say something, I’m kinda starting to freak out. You have this stoic look and I don’t know if you regret what just happened-“ “I don’t, I just can’t think straight still” you say standing up and slipping on one of his t-shirt.

“So, you don’t regret it?” he asks sitting back on the bed.

“Of course, I don’t, I’ve just, um, this is new to me and I don’t know how to react and I’m so exhausted and can I just say, the thing you did with your tongue, WOW” you say sitting on his lap and circling your arms around him.

“I could say the same ___, about the tongue thing” Jungkook confesses as his neck flushes, just thinking about the earlier events.

“Kook, I’m glad you were my first about tonight, and will be many more of my firsts for more things. If you were any other guy, you’d be impatient, needy, definitely wouldn’t have waited three months to go third base. So, thank you for being patient, kind, caring and so fucking handsome it’s unreal” you say and Jungkook breaks another one of his shy smiles, they’re pretty rare so you savour them.

Race 16 Japanese Grand Prix 2020

There’s a camera on the study table as you step out the washroom, still drying your hair.

“What’s with the camera?” you ask Jungkook who’s sorting the two of your luggage in the closet. There was a week off and while most drivers chose to fly home, Jungkook had convinced you into a four-day trip in South Korea.

“I want to document our first trip, now come on we have to be places” the camera focuses on you for the most time as the two of you explore Seoul, you might have to fly back just for the food.

The inevitable happens during day 2 in Seoul, Jungkook’s spotted and asked for some pictures. Now you understand why Jungkook insisted on you wearing a mask and cap, because you just take a few steps away from him, letting people take as many pictures as they can.

“I’m so sorry guys but I’m out with my girlfriend” Jungkook says to the enthusiastic group of people. He jogs up to you, intertwines his hand with yours and kind of pulls you along.

“Why’d you do that?” you ask as you sit in the rented car beside him. “Do what?” Jungkook asks sheepishly, knowing exactly what you’re asking him.

“Announce to the world that you have a girlfriend” “I think you just answered my question” you check twitter a few hours later, and of course the biggest mystery is who is the ferrari golden boy dating.

“Did it hurt?” you ask as your fingers gently hover around the first tattoo Jungkook just got.

“Hurt when I fell from heaven?” he jokes and you scoff getting out of your boots.

“The tattoo you dumbass,” “I like dumbass more than baby, but I did almost like a constant ant bite, not too severe but present” Jungkook says as you fall back on the bed, a little too tired from todays walking around.

“I’ve always wanted one but I can never commit” you say tracing lines on your arm, thinking of exactly what tattoo you want.

“I made a pact with myself, every time I go through something difficult, once the difficult part is over, I’d get a tattoo. To remind myself of the pain but also to have something that symbolised me getting through it” he says plopping on the bed beside you, and you turn pushing some of his hair away.

“What difficult part compelled this one?” “June last year, my racing future was looking pretty bleak. I couldn’t afford another year of being a reserve driver after 13 years of time and money invested to get me to Formula 1. I was terrified and anxious, wondering what the next year was going to look like, and by luck I was given one saving chance. And a year later, I’m in love, driving for ferrari and in the lead for the championship” Jungkook’s voice and eyes both hold you in place, with a magnetic hold.

“You love me?” you whisper and Jungkook snaps out of it, realising what he just blurted out.

“I have for some time now, I was waiting for the right time and I guess today is it. ___ I know we’re taking it slow and there’s no kind of pressure-“ he stops talking when a big bright smile appears on your face, the same one he saw the morning he kissed you.

“I love you Jungkook” you say throwing your arms around him and pulling him closer for a kiss and a million others.

Apparently, the complete paddock saw the thousands of tweets speculating the identity of Jungkook’s girlfriend. A usually boring driver’s parade in Japan is turned into a speculative morning with a million questions for him.

“How long has it been going on?” Lando asks and Phillip nods enthusiastically, wanting a scoop of gossip too.

“Five months” Jungkook answers nonchalantly and Lando is hooting immediately.

“Five months? How come she hasn’t been at the paddock yet” Phillip asks and Jungkook is a little stunned, having to decide between how much he has to lie.

“We’re just kinda taking it slow, and with press and fans involved it can get intense” Jungkook answers honestly, omission isn’t lying.

“That is pretty smart, one day you’re in a chill romantic relationship, next day all of the internet is too involved in everything you do” Phillip speaks from experience.

“How’d you meet each other?” Lando shoots another question and Jungkook smiles tightly, knowing he can’t get away from them.

“Common friends” Jungkook is kinda right about this, at least that’s what he tells himself.

“Jesus, you can’t even just think of her without smiling, can you?” Phillip say smacking his shoulder ever so slightly.

“I’m in love” Jungkook confesses like a love sick idiot, glad to be talking about you with someone other than Sora.

Race 17 United States Grand Prix 2020

“I have exams next week, I’m sorry if I can’t drop everything and be in Vegas with you” you say on the phone and Jungkook groans getting out the car.

“But I thought we could blow stupid amount of money on crap we don’t need, and when we do get sloshed, I would have kissed you this time” he says locking the car as he follows one of the manager that leads him up to his room.

“As tempting as a sloppy make out sounds, you know how bad I’m at history. And if you want a well educated girlfriend with a respected job in the future, you’ll stop whining, get changed into something classy and go out and have some fun” Jungkook can imagine you sitting sternly as you say that.

“Okay, fine, I’ll go out with Lando and we’ll gamble a stupid amount of money, will that make you happy” Jungkook says as the manager hands him the hotel room key with a big smile.

“Oh so happy, but remember to buy me something expensive with all the money you win”

“How can you be so sure that I’m going to be winning tonight?” he asks as he opens the hotel room, dropping his bag in the hallway.

“Honey, you’re going to be winning tonight” Jungkook doesn’t just hear your voice from the phone, he also hears it from the room in the suite.

“I thought you had to study” Jungkook whispers, not believing you are sitting in his bed.

“And I thought we could play strip notecard game, every answer I get wrong you remove an article of clothing” you say pointing to the huge stack of notecards you’ve been studying through.

“That isn’t right, you’ll just be answering wrong on purpose” he says sitting on the and pulling you closer by your chin.

“There’s a twist, for every five answers I get wrong, you add back another layer of clothing” you say pecking his lips, ever so gently.

You are starting to regret the romantic, sexy, fun game because you forgot to factor in your boyfriends stupid level of competitiveness. “Come on baby, you’re one wrong answer away from me putting back my jeans” he teases as you continue to huff about the difficult question, getting more and more worried about the coming test.

“Oh! I am so infuriated by you right now, it’s past mid night, we should have already had sex by now” you complain as you scoot closer to him and swat the notecards away from him.

“I’m not losing this game ___” he says as you sliding even closer, eventually landing back in his lap.

“You hate losing, don’t you?” you ask grinding against his growing hard dick.

“I do, but I also-“ Jungkook stops talking the second you slide off your sweater that’s been hiding your naked tits.

“I think I’m going to be winning this one” you whisper against his ear, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek and pulling back.

“Baby, I don’t think I’m going to be hypnotised by your tits, this terrible game just proved how much you need to be studying, and jesus christ” he whispers the last part as cup one of your breasts, and Jungkook knows he’s lost this game.

“I might be losing this one but first, I’m going to fuck you till you see the stars for teasing me all night. And second, we’re going to sit down and study because I can’t have you failing on my watch” Jungkook says flipping you around and pinning you down.

“Failing, like you’re failing right now” you say and he groans as his lips hover over yours.

“I love how cocky you are” “More than you love me?” you ask daringly as his lips touch yours.

“Nothing is bigger than my love for you ___” that’s the last thing Jungkook says before he accomplishes the task of turning you into a moaning and shaking mess.

“I wanted us to go to a male strip show but Phillip is being a little bitch about it” Maya says as the two of you walk to the ferrari hospitality for the race.

“How about we tell him that we’re going shopping and sneak out and catch a sexy little show” you suggest and Maya scoffs.

“Phillip knows me too well, he’s going to know I’m lying” “Well, it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” you say as the two of you sit down on a sofa.

“Is that your strategy with dating Jungkook and not telling Phillip about it” she gives you a pointed look as she says that, Maya has tried her best to not pester you about it, but she’s getting concerned.

“It is the 21st century, I don’t need anyone permission to date anyone-“ “As much as I love a good feminist rant, you and I both know it’s not about permission but rather keeping things from your brother. Important things like dating his team mate, who he’s had a sort of turbulent relationship, and they’re finally getting along” Maya says as the two of you look at the two drivers discussing something pre-race.

“I know, that’s why Jungkook and I have decided to tell him after the final race. Once the season is over and everyone is a little relaxed, then maybe we four could even do a trip to the Bahamas” Jungkook and you had talked about this, extensively.

“Jungkook wanted to come clean earlier, but we’re just in this romantic cocoon and everything feels so right and we don’t want to change anything, for as long as we can” you say and Maya smiles supportively, she can absolutely understand the romantic bliss you’re in right now.

“He’s the one isn’t he” Maya asks and you’re too distracted to answer her, Jungkook and you hold each other’s eyes through the distance and it’s hard to look away.

Race 18 Mexican Grand Prix 2020

It was exam week, and you were starting to give up on the idea of college. The night before the test, you remembered exactly why you dropped out in the first place, but you don’t have to time to freak out, you need to be studying.

“___?” your father ass knocking on your door. He comes in and places a warm cup of hot coco on your desk.

“It’s just an exam” he says running a hand through the hair you might have been pulling on too much.

“But what if I fail at this too” you say, biting your lip as an attempt to not cry. Your father sighs, sitting across you on your bed.

“You didn’t fail at figure skating, you cracked half your body giving your best and you’re still sitting here, that’s not failure honey. You’ve given your best before a million times before during each competition, I’m sure you can do it again” these words of reassurance are all you needed, your father isn’t the biggest touchy feely person, but tonight he is.

“And you are too fiercely independent to be someone’s trophy wife, so I have the utmost faith in you” he says as he again ruffles your hair, trying to soothe you a little.

“That is the best compliment I’ve received, ever” you are feeling a little better after talking to him and the warm cup of coco, you’re not as anxious as you drift off to sleep.

Jungkook knows he should be mediating right now, it’s his pre-race ritual that he sticks to religiously. But today he’s all sorts of distracted, waiting for a text or call from you. Today was the last exam and during the week, there’s been a few texts from you, he understands that you’re busy. But he still got his hopes up about a sweet good luck text.

Usually there’s quietness from Phillip’s side of the driver room, but today he seems to be talking to someone. The voices aren’t clear but Jungkook hears a ‘I told you it was going to be fine’, he assumed Phillip is on call with you and sticks his ear to the shared wall, not one of Jungkook’s proudest moment.

“I can’t believe the questions were so easy, I was kinda prepared for the worse” Jungkook’s suspicious are proven right when he hears your voice through the wall, making him feel a little less stupid about this.

Jungkook shakes with surprise when his phone vibrates against his thigh, You: I know you’re deep in your meditation right now, so I’m not going to disturb you. You: Good luck on the race! Please be safe ❤️ You: I love you ❤️ You: And I crushed my tests, like you told me I was going to You: I’ll see you in Brazil ❤️

Jungkook doesn’t reply right away, too distracted blushing over the fact that you were indeed thinking of him.

“My father has always been a major racing fan, and he’d take my sister and I karting all the time, somewhere along the way I started doing it competitively and here I am” Jungkook answers the podcasters question of how he got into racing.

“What about you sister?” “She found her computer more interesting, she works in big data now” Jungkook answers jokingly. They go back and forth about this season, team, other teams, strategy and other technical stuff.

“You’ve had one of the most phenomenal F1 debut in the history, and the build up has been keeping everyone on their heels. What does it mean to win the championship this year?”

“Everything, it literally has been building up for 13 years. This was an incomprehensible dream to me just a year ago, there are some days when I wake up wondering if this has all been a very vivid dream” Jungkook says and the host nods knowingly.

“How is your relationship with Ferrari looking like, they signed you for two years last year, do you think this relationship is going to extend” they ask and Jungkook chuckles, sitting up straight.

“I think I’ve done everything in my ability to prove to ferrari that I’m a driver worth having on their team, and right now the future looks positive” Jungkook says, alluding to a possible contract extension.

“We’ve covered your racing career extensively, how about a few questions about your personal life” the host asks and Jungkook smirks, knowing this was coming all this time.

“You were spotted with your girlfriend in Seoul and not since, is the relationship over” “It’s the opposite, we are in a very relationship, we just want to stay away from the cameras and media for as long as possible. The attention on me has been immense since I started with Ferrari, while I absolutely am grateful for the fans love and attention, I also have this wish to protect her for all kinds of attention that comes along with dating me” Jungkook answers and the host sits up with another question.

“You haven’t invited her to the paddock yet, will she be here cheering for you winning in Abu Dhabi?” “We haven’t discussed it yet, but wherever she is, she’ll be cheering for me” Jungkook answers pragmatically, giving away as least information as he can.

Race 19 Brazilian Grand Prix 2020

“Put the white t-shirt down Kook” you threaten him jokingly as he down put down the t-shirt. After persuading Jungkook for a mere few seconds, he’d agreed for you to help him shop. He’s been wearing ferrari merch like uniform and desperately needs help, as you put it gently.

“We can get a white t-shirt, but not the plain kind, something with waffling that looks classy by itself but also great under a blazer or jacket” you say picking up another thing for Jungkook to try on.

“What kinda clothes do you want?” you ask and he hums with wonderment.

“I like your style, shirts, knit sweaters, also that half zipper jumper you love, I need multiple of those” he says feeling a sweater and you stand there, delighted.

“Also, a few straight fit jeans, I’m bored of the skinny ones, and a chunky pair of sneakers, also a good bomber jacket” the list of stuff Jungkook wants just rolls off his tongue, and you snicker, thinking back to his earlier statement of ‘I don’t need new stuff’

“What about you? New handbag? Boots?” “I was thinking a skirt, now that the surgery scars on my thigh are fading, I want to try skirts again” you mention and Jungkook eye’s light up immediately, pulling you to the women’s section.

“Baby I want you to dress however you feel comfortable, but I’d also like to make a formal request to add skirts back in your rotation” Jungkook pleads as you spin around to give him a good look of the leather skirt.

The two of you sigh with exhaustion as you sit down on the park bench, Jungkook’s arm immediately comes around your shoulder, your face nestling on his chest.

After a long morning of shopping, you surprised him with a fancy dinner at a restaurant, a rare event for two of you together. You feel contentment as you feel his warmth, contentment is something you haven’t felt in a while.

Turning to look up at him, you smile lifting your face to look him in the eyes. “Why don’t you ever ask me about my accident?” you have been wondering about this for a while now.

He bites his lip as he thinks his answer through, “I’ve wanted to, but I also don’t want you to think of the accident again” he answers truthfully, and to his surprise you smile encouragingly.

“Ask me, I really want you to know” “How did it happen?” a simple question has you back on the ice.

You tell him about the night before an important competition, you had a complicated routine and wanted to practice a few times before the morning came. The ice rink was especially quiet as you slid across, calming yourself with a few deep breaths you begin the routine effortlessly. Everything feels natural till it comes to the triple axel, you knew you were doing it wrong the second your feet were off the ground, falling flat on your face.

You felt some blood on your lips, your nose was possibly bleeding but you attempted the jump again and failing, concussing yourself. By the third attempt you were crying because of frustration and fear for tomorrow, but you end back on your feet, having handed a perfect triple axel.

“So, you landed the move?” Jungkook asks with confusion, this is not what he was expecting.

“I did, and I was confident as I left the rink, but I was also very concussed. Nothing felt off till I walked to the stairs to get out the centre, I was holding on to something as I was lightheaded, one miss step and I was barrelling down the stairs, that’s what injured me” you say as you remember shutting your eyes with pain as you lay on the cold concrete, multiple parts of your body feeling broken.

“A maintenance worker found me bleeding and next thing I remembered was Phillip sobbing as he called out my name” you say and other tear escapes your eyes, his warm hand, wipes it away again.

“I was so happy being able to do a graceful triple axel and down went my dreams” you whisper snuggling even closer to him.

“I had a broken back, shattered hip and bleeding from my head but I’m still here, it could’ve been worse. I could have died if I bled out on that concrete floor for another hour” you shudder thinking about the what could haves of that night.

Jungkook doesn’t know if his words could ever comfort you, so he kisses your forehead as he wipes away another string of tears.

Race 20 Qatar Grand Prix 2020

“___, I have to leave for qualifying soon, I can’t be late” Jungkook complains as you look for something in your luggage. You’d just landed in Qatar and came straight to his hotel room.

“I know for a fact that you have another half hour to spare, so sit your ass down” your sternness does make him sit on the bed, usually he likes to get to the garage a little earlier than expected, but not today.

He looks at you with confusion as you place a small velvet box in his hands. Opening it, he discovers a dainty silver chain, and his confusion just grows.

“I was 15 and it was my first time competing at the Olympic level. Apparently, in figure skating wearing a necklace is considered a good luck charm, but I didn’t have one before the competition. So, my mother removed this chain and put it around my neck, I made a ring out of the pendent, and the chain is a very late birthday present for you” you explain with a soft smile.

“It indeed turned out to be a good luck charm for me, and now it’s yours” you continue and the endeared smile on his face only grows.

“This is too personal, don’t you want to keep something your late mother gave you?” he asks closing the box and his hands reach for yours.

“I want you to have my good luck charm, especially when I’ll too busy to attend your races because I’ll be busy at university next few years” you had already started with university interviews and were hopeful.

“Years? You think we’re in it for the long haul?” Jungkook asks and you mumble a simple yes and a hopeful smile.

“I think so too” Jungkook whispers as he kisses your lips, today he could care less about being late.

Race 21 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix 2020

Jungkook was cornered into a meeting with Namjoon and Claudia after the race. He didn’t know what to expect as he walked into that office but the stoic look on their faces didn’t sit right with him.

“Congratulations on the win” Claudia says as he takes the seat opposite him.

“Thanks” Jungkook says picking up the envelope Claudia put in front of him. He gingerly opens the envelope, and to his surprise, it contains a few blurry pictures of you and him at a restaurant, possibly from Brazil.

“Is that ___ Lee and you?” Claudia asks and Jungkook nods, putting the pictures down.

“Are you dating ___?” she asks and he mumbles a yes, not understanding the point of all this.

“Break up” she says strictly and Jungkook looks at her with bafflement, expecting for her to explain.

“I just got done dealing with all sorts of articles pitting Phillip and you against each other, a sponsor almost pulled out after all that bad press we got after you almost fighting Phillip in front of camera’s. We’re exhausted with the gossip, so break up with ___” she explains standing up, ready to leave.

“Ferrari is willing to discuss the terms of your contract extension once this is done” those are the last things Claudia says before she leaves.

Jungkook and Namjoon have been sitting in silence for long enough for it to start feeling awkward.

“So, ferrari is threatening me to break up with ___?” Jungkook asks, still not done processing the earlier conversation.

“They wouldn’t have cared if you were dating anyone other than your team mates sister, why didn’t you tell me?” Namjoon asks, massaging his forehead.

“Why didn’t I tell you what? That I’m dating ___ or that I’m dating my team mates sister” Jungkook asks raising his voice a little.

“You know it’s the latter, if not you’d have told me. You knew this could’ve been an issue, that why you hid it from me Jungkook” Namjoon reasons, staying as calm as ever.

“I’m sorry but I’m not doing that” Jungkook protest, standing up.

“Let me give you a scenario, you don’t comply, ferrari doesn’t extend their contract with you so all of next year you’re treated as their number 2 driver who doesn’t win the championship, out of a contract, your relationship with ferrari absolutely ruined. A top team will be sceptical signing you, given how ferrari didn’t have confidence in you because of a two-year contract. You end up at a mid-field team, the car’s okay, but not world championship winning, you spend another two, maybe three years with them, again out of a contract. What is your next step? To be out of a seat again by 25 because you stood up to Ferrari?” Namjoon’s voice is a decibel louder than it usually is.

“You’re willing to throw it all away for love? For someone you’ve loved for less than a year? You’ve loved racing for 13 fucking years Jeon Jungkook!” Namjoon says standing up too, wanting Jungkook to understand this, loud and clear.

“Jungkook you’re young, ask her to wait a few years” Namjoon asks softly, noticing how red and watery Jungkook’s eyes are.

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other” Namjoon tries and comfort him with a soft pat on his arm.

Jungkook feels sick as he walks into his hotel room, you seem to have fallen asleep, the food you ordered for the two of you long cold. Just the image of you sleeping calmly in his bed is freaking him out, rushing to the restroom, he splashes his face, not knowing what to do next.

“Kook?” you call out for his name, him coming into the room having woke you up.

“Go back to sleep, I need a quick shower” Jungkook shouts from the restroom, not wanting to look you in the eyes right now.

Jungkook picks up your book and takes off your glasses as he gets back to bed, his hands softly caressing your face but he snaps himself out of it.

He’s wide awake as he slides in the bed, he keeps a respectful distance but you cease it all by cuddling into his chest.

“Did something come up?” you ask as your face presses into his naked chest.

“Kinda, did you have dinner?” Jungkook asks and you nod a yes.

“Did you?” you ask looking up as your eyes barely open.

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Jungkook says and you force your eyes open, to get a good look at him.

“Do you want some water, medicine?” “I just need to sleep it off” Jungkook whispers as he nuzzles even closer. He can deal with his issues tomorrow, tonight he just wants to fall asleep with you in his arms.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2020

Jungkook: I got you a separate hotel room, I really need some time by myself and I don’t want us to fight about this Jungkook: Just get the key card from reception You: Why are you pushing me away? Jungkook: I’m not pushing you away, tomorrow is one of the most important race of my life. I don’t think I’m asking too much by wanting some time by myself You: You aren’t asking for too much, it’s just so unlike you and it worries me Jungkook: Well don’t, I’ll see you in the morning You: Call me if you can’t sleep Jungkook: Thanks

Jungkook feels sick to his stomach as he rereads the text exchange between the two of you. He hasn’t been able to breath properly since the comms meeting last weekend, it might have affected his qualifying today as he starts tomorrows race at P7, not at a winning position.

Jungkook knows what he has to do, he just can’t bring himself to do something he though he’d never have to do.

Like promised you do see him in the morning, more like late afternoon once he’d done training. One good look at him and you can see he’s not been sleeping well.

“Jungkook, you’re starting to scare me, what’s wrong?” you ask taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“Last week, Ferrari agreed to extend my contract” he prefaces with good news before he unleashes the ugly truth.

“Isn’t that good news” you ask as your hand comes up to caress his cheek, to your surprise he flinches because of your touch.

“They had some stipulation, well one to be exact” he whispers looking at his hands shamefully as you retract your hand. Jungkook’s trying his best to form the next sentence in his mind, wanting it to come across as gently as it can.

“Kook, whatever it is, it must be worth agreeing to. Driving for Ferrari has been your dream, just say yes” your soft voice triggers another set of tears in his eyes.

“Is it worth agreeing to if I lose you in the process?” he asks looking you in the eyes and watches as you bite your lip with confusion, wanting him to explain.

“They want me to break up with you, they don’t want me dating my teammate’s sister because they don’t want any more gossip or bad press and I wanted to scoff in their faces, I really did. But I-“ he’s at a loss of words when he notices the tears in your eyes too.

“___ I don’t want to do this, but I don’t want to throw my career away for love and later regret that” Jungkook pleads as you stand up to get away from him.

“Okay” you whisper, “Okay? You’re okay with this-“ “How the fuck can I be okay with this but it seems like you and I don’t have a say in this matter, DO WE?” you yell as your eyes turn red with anger.

“___, please-“ “Do I want you to fight them and keep dating me, yes. But between the two of us, I’m the only one who’s had to give up on a dream without having any say in it, and it’s painful and frustrates the life out of me, so please for the love you have for me, let me go” you can’t help but be rational about this, seeing him like this is making your heart hurt.

His eyes are fixed at you as he watches you, he wants you to fight for this relationship. “The idea of letting you go hurts too much ___” he says as he stands up too, taking small steps till he’s face to face with you.

No words could encompass every emotion you’re feeling, reaching onto him one last time, you bring his face closer to yours, his forehead touching yours.

“I love you” you whisper one last time and Jungkook ceases all the distance, his lips kissing you with desperation. You can taste the salty tears on his lips as you peck him one last time before pulling away.

The kisses turn into a tight hug and as each second passes, Jungkook knows he has a second less with you. He kisses the top of your head as your tears stain his polo. The moment is interpreted by loud knocks, followed by Namjoon’s voice.

“Jungkook, we’re ready to leave for the race” his manager announces and Jungkook sighs, pulling you even closer.

“Promise me something” you ask as you begrudgingly pull away. “Win the championship tonight” you ask and he sighs with defeat, he’s not in a headspace to driver, or even win.

“And remember, that’ll I’ll aways be cheering for you” you say as you leave a soft kiss on his cheek before you walk out that hotel room.

“Jungkook last two laps, you’ve .1 second away from Hamilton” the engineer announces over radio and Jungkook zooms through, fighting to overtake.

“And Jeon manoeuvres another overtake at turn 3, AND HE OVERTAKES THE MERCEDES” the crowd cheers as Jungkook zoom’s through entering the last lap. Usually when he’s inside the car, his mind is blank, only focus being driving. But tonight, as he zooms through, a montage of the last six months of his life is on replay once again.

“Jeon Jungkook you are the 2020 World Champion!!!” his engineer is practically yelling on radio as the montage starts to disappear in his mind.

His face is stained with tears as he gets rid of the balaclava, for a minute he’s overcome with joy as he team hugs with shouts and cheers. But it all starts to come crashing to him as he’s standing on the podium, looking around and not seeing your face in the crowd.

As he returns to the empty hotel room, Jungkook feels like the biggest loser. He reaches for the velvet diary you gifted him early this season. His finger traces the little note you left on the first page. Whether you win or lose, it’s going to be okay!

Phillip’s 30th Birthday (2022)

The Monaco breeze sends a chill down your spine as you take Christian’s hand as he guides you up the yacht. You watch as the water glimmers under the late evening sun, Christian’s hand still on the small of your back as you make small talk with some acquaintance.

“So, congratulations on the pregnancy” you whisper to Maya as she’s chokes on the tiramisu.

“How’d you kno- I’m not showing yet, am I? I haven’t told Phillip yet and it’s a big surprise for him, and shut up!” Maya is clearly a little panicked about the complete ordeal.

“Again, how did you know?” Maya asks as you pass her a wicked smile, sipping on your champagne.

“You weren’t drinking and I took a shot in the dark, oh my god you’re really pregnant” you’re starting to freak out just thinking about it, and your freaking out does not help Maya. The freaking out doesn’t last for too long as you see a familiar face walk across from you.

“So, I didn’t tell you Jungkook was invited because I didn’t want you to cancel” Maya says and you turn to give her a look of disappointment.

“You never told me why you guys broke up?” Maya asks as you watch as Jungkook looks over at your side and you dodge his eyes.

“We were just fighting a lot, and we knew I was going to be busy with university and wouldn’t be able to see him as often. Breaking up seemed like the natural thing” you lie through your teeth as you down another glass of champagne.

Before Maya can shoot another question towards you, you notice Christian go up to Jungkook and talk to him.

“Christian, I think I should introduce you to some of my cousins” you say desperately, trying to stop your ex and your present boyfriend from talking.

Jungkook holds your eyes for a little too long, you haven’t seen him in the eyes since that night in Abu Dhabi and it’s hard to look away.

“Of course, darling, we were just talking about the upcoming race in Monaco. I think we should attend it” Christian’s arm comes around your waist as he says that and Jungkook has to physically look away.

“I’d be great but I have midterms in a week” you answer noticing how familiar the sweater Jungkook is wearing, it’s the half zipper you helped him pick out.

“Midterms? What university did you get accepted into?” Jungkook asks and Christian answers before you can, “University of Oxford, we met on ___’s first day. She was late for her first lecture, I was rushing to submit an assignment. We collided into each other; her coffee ruined my project. To make up for it, she offered to buy me dinner and the rest is history” Christian says the last part as he turns to look at you lovingly, but there’s just a uncomfortable smile on your lips. Jungkook has a million questions to ask you, but seeing you with some other man is making him sick.

“Well good talking to you” Christian says cheerfully as you tug on his arm again.

“Likewise,” Jungkook says with a small voice, as he watches the two of you walk away.

Race 22 Abu Dhabi 2024

A rush of memories come back to yobtu as Maya and you walk into the Ferrari hospitality. You haven’t been on the paddock since Jungkook and you broke up, and you’re here today only because it’s Phillip’s final race. Maya had a tumultuous pregnancy, and after Phillip missed the birth of his son, it was decided, he was going to retire. He’d had a good ten years as a driver, now it was the time for him to be a father.

“Hey, I’m going to go look for Phillip” Maya says as she walks off with baby Aiden. You are a little fidgety as you take a seat, not wanting to see Jungkook but at the same time also wanting to see him.

To your surprise, Jungkook walks in, hand in hand with Ava, his girlfriend now for a year. Ava and him met during an Armani photoshoot, the two of them hit it off right away.

Jungkook keeps her at an arm’s length as he goes around talking to a few people, you keep eyes on them like a creepy ex-girlfriend, wondering if this is what he’d been like you with publicly.

It's when Jungkook’s hand goes up to massage his neck that you notice the shining silver chain around his neck, why would he keep it after all these years? Or more importantly, why would he wear it after all these years?

The after party is a little out of control, the ferrari people are celebrating two things, Phillip retiring and Jungkook winning the championship for the third time.

“So, you’re graduating this spring?” A random dude in the club asks as he leans even closer to you.

“Yeah, with a degree in education” you say as your eyes wander around the club for a familiar place, you spot Jungkook by the bar.

He’s not by himself, he whisper’s something in Ava’s ear and she turn around to punch him on his shoulder and lean in for a kiss. That sight is enough for you to be done with this night, making your way out the crowd is difficult but you manage it somehow. You’re almost out the club when someone tug’s on your wrist.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asks but doesn’t wait for your response as he’s pulling you someplace quiet.

“Congratulations” you mutter and he smiles dropping your wrist. Jungkook changed so much over the last four years, his hair is longer, his face seems mature, his left forearm is full of tattoos, he looks like a champion in his fancy clothes.

“Where’s Christian?” Jungkook asks the question that he’s been waiting to ask since he spotted you in the ferrari garage earlier today.

“He proposed so I cheated on him, because I was too much of a coward to break up with him. I was an ugly, messy end” you don’t have any filter as you talk to him, maybe it’s the vodka you chugged earlier today. His lips are agape with bafflement as he stares at you, not knowing what to say.

“Just tell me it’s going to be fine” you say with a teasing smile, repeating something you said to him years ago.

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine” Jungkook mutters with a wide smile, thinking back to 20 year old you, because 24 year old you is so different it’s hard to recognise.

You keep your naturally long hair in a bob now, so many piercings along your right ear, you dress in mostly darker colours now instead of the pastels you favoured earlier.

“Seriously, I’m so happy for you. Three championships you wouldn’t have won if you didn’t break up with me, two actually” you try and joke but your tone is a little too serious.

“Don’t say that” he whispers looking down at your hands and noticing the missing golden ring.

“It’s the bitter truth tho, how are you and Ava? You guys in love?” you ask bitterly, taking a step away from him.

“___, don’t make me feel guilty about moving on-“ “I’m not trying to, I’m just frustrated that you can move on as if we never happened and I’m still stuck feeling broken because I can’t get over you!” you shout as the tears start to well up in your eyes again.

Jungkook wants to reach out, pull you into a tight hug, whisper how everything is going to be fine, but he doesn’t. He has Ava now, and reaching out to you like this would just give you false hope. Instead, he watches as you walk away again.

Spring 2025, Phillip and Maya’s wedding

“You guys were supposed to sleep apart the night before the wedding!” you bark as the couple as you break into their hotel room.

The couple just groans as they barely life of the bed, you’re just thankful none of them is naked.

“I snuck in because Maya was freaking out about getting married” Phillip whispers as he’s clearly hungover.

“You’ve been dating for over seven years, have a four year child, how the fuck are you nervous about getting married?” you shout and Maya springs up in bed, “Oh my god! Where’s Aiden?”

“He’s with your parents, seriously how much did you guys drink-oh my god five bottles of wine!” you shout some more as you spot the bottles by the bed.

This immediately triggers Maya’s tears, she’s clearly very hungover too.

“I’m going to be hungover on my wedding day” Maya cries and Phillip turns to glare at you, like her being hungover is your doing and not his.

“I’m going to get you a smoothie that’ll either fix your hungover or make you throw up and not be sick anymore. Phillip, get out, the makeup and hair people are going to be here soon, and please for the love for your son, no more crying till the wedding. Got it?” you ask with a stern voice and the couple nods with uncertainty.

You thought you had delt with the last of today’s problem but there’s a nth knock on your hotel room.

“Who’s it?” you shout struggling with the zipper of your dress, another thing to add to your drawbacks of being single.

“Jungkook” he says as he nervously ruffles his hair again, had he been looking forward to seeing you all weekend? Yes. Does the idea of seeing you make him incredibly nervous? Also, yes.

You swing the door open with confusion and are met with Jungkook holding up a tie he’s obviously been struggling with.

“You’re the only person I could think of to ask for help” he says and you smile and nod letting him in, weirdly enough you back into the room with your front facing him.

“I thought you were bringing Ava?” you ask leaning against the door, taking deep breaths to calm yourself.

“Ava and I broke up, long long time ago, a year ago” Jungkook says as he stands by the bed, watching as you stay fixed by the door.

You whisper a ‘oh’ as you walk towards him. Jungkook can’t believes he’s in an another hotel room with you, he had convinced himself this was never going to happen again.

“I can help you with your tie only after you zip up my dress,” you say turning around and exposing your bareback to him.

Jungkook’s dazed for a second but he snaps himself out of it as you take all your hair towards the side. The movement earns a surprised gasp from Jungkook.

“You got a tattoo?” he says and finger has a mind of his own as it traces your soft skin, making you flinch under his touch.

“You got a hand flipping of on your lower neck?” he asks with amusement as he zips up your dress quickly.

“I was so drunk and I thought it would be a great idea to get this, so that I was flipping off everyone behind me. How’d they allow people so drunk they need subtitles to understand get a tattoo is beyond me” you grumble about that stupid night is college again, no matter how fun it was, it was stupid.

“A stupid but kinda cute tattoo is part of the college experience ___, I’m just glad you weren’t holed up in your apartment every night, crying while reading a book” he teases and you snatch the tie away from him.

“You only walked in on me sobbing while reading a book once-“ “Twice actually” he corrects you as you move closer to raise his collars, bantering just like in the past.

A quietness blankets the room again as you hand sternly tie the tie around his neck. Jungkook’s looking away, this proximity feels like too much. “About the last time we talked-“ Jungkook’s interrupted by more rapid knocking on your door.

“Phillip is missing, I can’t find Phillip, oh my god he ran away!” you recognise the voice that belongs to one of Phillip’s groomsmen.

“I, um, have to take care of that” you whisper looking in Jungkook’s eyes as you take a step away from him.

“Of course,” he says tightening the tie and fixing his jacket.

“Phillip’s not missing, you check with Maya’s parents because he might probably be with Aiden. I’ll go and kick his ass if he’s getting Maya drunk again” you spring into action mode, somehow running in 4-inch heels.

You’re thankful about the waterproof mascara as Phillip and Maya exchange their vows. It was a beautiful ceremony, the sun was setting as they walked off as husband and wife. As the night gets darker people start to get more liquored up. Walking up to the couple, you pull the two of them in a tight hug, “I can’t believe you stupid idiots are married!”

“Can you not call us stupid on out wedding day?” Phillip grumbles and you chuckle sarcastically.

“Sure, I can’t believe you morons are married” “Talking of morons, have you talked to Jungkook yet” Maya says and you grumble snatching her drink.

“I can’t believe you told him” you say giving Maya a pointed look.

“Husbands and wives aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other” Phillip announces, a little too happy about this.

“Maybe we should tell Phillip about the time you stuffed ones into a very chiselled man’s-“ “Why are you going around ruining people’s relationships because your love life is miserable” Maya raises her voice just a little as she shuts you up, gathering attention from a few people around.

“Hey, my love life isn’t miserable I’m dating myself, oh who am I kidding. I haven’t been on a date in three months” you grumble snatching Phillip’s drink too and he just look at you with concern.

“Maybe you should go talk to him, and stop stealing people’s drinks” Phillip says as he pulls Maya along with him. Turning to face the rest on the party, you spot Jungkook talking to a woman on his table.

Jungkook finally gets rid of the woman who’s been eating his ear off for most of the reception, maybe his mother is right, he’s too polite. Jungkook scans the room for you, and not to his surprise you’ve escaped the party. But it doesn’t take him too long to find you, Jungkook spots you on the other side of the lawn, sitting on a park bench.

Knowing you startle easy, he clears his throat to let you know of his presence. You give him a shy smile as you watch him walk up to you.

“Can I have a dance?” he asks as he offers you a hand. You had almost forgotten the feeling on his warm rough hands against yours and you take his offer. The band switches to a soft romantic song right on que, like it fated to be, or more like Jungkook slipped them some money to do that.

The two of you savour the moment, a rare sweet moment. Your cheek rests against his chest while his arm snakes around your waist as you sway together. He gets a hit of your perfume and it’s the same soft, vanilla sent and it’s making him lose his train of thoughts.

“You were wrong” he mutters, gaining some courage to talk to you.

“Wrong about what?” you ask, moving your head to look up at him.

“Ava and I weren’t in love, she or any other woman was a mere distraction to not keep reminding me of you shaped hole in my heart” he whispers as he watches your chest heave.

“I have an arm full of tattoos because ever few months I’d delude myself into thinking I’m over you, get a tattoo to symbolise it and then a week later be back to zero” Jungkook says this for the first time out loud. The look on your face is unreadable, maybe he’s lost his chance with you.

Jungkook drops his arm from around you and takes a step back, wanting to respect you.

“I’m sorry for bringing up old wounds, when it comes to you I always manage to do the wrong this” Jungkook can already feel a migraine coming as he thinks of all the overthinking he’s going to be doing. This finally evokes an emotion in you, a frown but still an emotion.

“You didn’t do something wrong when you broke up with me Jungkook, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You were put in a corner, and that was the only solution to the problem” you say as your hands come up to cradle his face.

“Sure, I was irrationally angry with you for a while, but then I’d see you win during a race and feel like maybe the pain was worth it” you say with a twinkle in your eyes and Jungkook chuckles looking down.

“And you kept winning, I have some suspicion that Phillip partly retired because he was sick of you and the South Korean national anthem after most races” you say in attempts to ease the tense moment and this does make him smile.

“I had my suspicions about that too, but I didn’t bring it up because I’m sure Phillip would’ve punched me” Jungkook says snaking his arms back around you.

“That was smart of you, Phillip would have punched you square in your pretty face” you say as you lean your cheek back against his chest.

“Pretty still? I think it’s more ruggedly handsome face now” he whines as the two of you start swaying again.

“Sure, Phillip would’ve punched your ruggedly handsome face” you give up and hear another round of chuckles from his side.

“I missed you” you say as you bring your arms around him, and just like that the twinkling is back to his eyes, maybe he still is pretty face.

“I love you, I mean I missed you, FUCK!” Jungkook shuts his eyes, the migraine is starting to assault his senses but the rapidly blinks his eyes when he hears your boisterous laughter.

“Is my misery funny to you Ms Lee?” he asks pulling you closer and you just nod, mouthing a very.

“If you were any other man who’d said what you just did, I’d be running out of here. But lucky for you, I never stopped loving you” you say as you lean in for a kiss, and with just one singular kiss it feels like the last few painful years never happened.

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7brownsuga7 · 1 year

Text

Disruptions

Jungkook x reader

Word count: 3k +

Scene from my wattpad book

As you walk further inside the apartment you can hear faint old R&B music playing through the speakers, with Jungkooks voice singing alongside it.

You've always admired Jungkooks voice, as much as he denies that his voice isn't that good, you beg to differ. But what can you say, he's good at a lot of things.

The sound of shuffling and cabinets opening and closing sparks your interest as you make your way to the kitchen.

"Baby you should let me love yo-" Jungkook stops mid song looking up at you surprised as he begins to icing the cakes.

The sound of the music continues in the background, making you nod your head to it as you near him.

With a bunny toothed grin sent your way, he rests the icing on the countertop as you continue to make your way over to him.

You can't help but to eye him as he stands there in all his glory. He's wearing a fitted white shirt that extenuates his muscles and chest. His grey sweatpants make an appearance, you can't help but to smile at one of your favourite outfits of his.

You watch him as he sucks on his thumb in attempt to get rid of the icing that is on his fingers, before he opens up his arms for you. You rest your head against his chest as he gently rocks you both sideways.

"I decided to make cupcakes" he states as he lets you go before continuing to icing the rest of the cakes.

Nodding, you reply back, "yeah, I smelt them as soon as I entered. It's funny because on my way here I was actually going to stop off at the bakery to pick up some"

"Well you came just in time" he turns on the tap to the sink and begins washing his hands as you hover over the cakes to fully smell them, the warmth still radiating off of them.

"Here, taste this" he sets the towel on the counter after he dries his hands, making his way over to you with a bowl of icing.

"I made it myself, it's butter icing but I added some cinnamon for extra flavour" with his index finger stretched out towards you and creamy icing decorating it, you slowly suck on his finger tasting the icing. You knew it would taste great, you didn't have to taste it to know it. You just wanted an excuse to suck on his finger.

Jungkook watches you with low eyes, slowly licking his lips at you sucking on his finger.

You act oblivious to his gaze as you lick your own lips to taste the lingering presence of the icing.

"Delicious" a devilish grin spreads across your face making Jungkook step closer to you.

Your back gently hits the edge of the counter as you look up at him innocently, aware of the bulge that is slowly growing in his pants.

Both of you look at each other, silly smiles appearing on your faces as you take each-other in.

The soft sound of the R&B music continues to play in the background, Jungkook slightly humming to it as he admires you from where he's standing, eyes still low and intimidating.

Just as he's about to lean in and kiss you, you reach over and take a big lump of icing on your finger just before you smudge it on Jungkooks face.

At first he seems taken aback, considering the atmosphere was getting a little hot. But then his teeth are in full show as his nose scrunches up.

You bend over laughing, hand stretched out and holding onto him as you feel yourself going weak at his shocked expression.

"You think that's funny? What insane person gets a guy hard and then attacks him with icing?" He humourlessly shakes his head in disbelief, wiping off the icing with a wet cloth.

You eventually calm down as you lean against the counter and take deep breaths to steady your breathing.

He watches you mischievously as he slowly walks over to you with his hands behind his back.

"Mr.Jeon... what are you hiding?" you tease.

He stops right in-front of you, and if it wasn't for the playful state you guys are both in, you'd be a little intimidated. He's looking down at you with a devilish smirk and dark eyes. His dark hair carelessly falling in front of his face making you want to reach out and play with it, but you don't.

He's got you trapped against the counter, hands still behind his back.

Suddenly you're shrieking at the abrupt ambush as he brings his hand that is covered in icing up to your face. He doesn't show any mercy as he makes sure your face and hair is covered in the creamy coating.

You gasp at him and hit his chest repeatedly, "Really my fucking hair?" You watch as he silently chuckles while continuing to cover you in the coating. How much icing did he make?

In the midst of him laughing while still going on with his attack, you glance over at the counter beside you and see a jar of flour. It's as if you almost see a light shining down on it. You slyly reach out for it and grab a fist full before throwing it at him.

That sure was a way to get him to stop covering you with the sticky coating.

He almost looks insane as he stares at you, stunned with crazed eyes.

There's a beat of silence as you try to hold in your laugh as you wait for his reaction. When you notice his mouth twitch you burst out in laughter, him following you shortly after.

It's nice to do this with him, seeing as you never get the opportunity to mess around with him like this. It's rare you see Jungkook in this state, he's usually always in business mode, so it brings a smile to your face seeing him playing around like this.

"Oh baby, you don't know what you just got yourself into" he speaks after he's done laughing, which makes you stop yourself.

Before you can do anything else, he's already lifting you up onto the countertop causing you to slightly squeal.

With his hands on your hips and lightly caressing them, you both look at each other with so much passion before you both eagerly go in for a kiss.

He kisses you as you try to match his pace, both coming up for air eventually.

You let out a soft moan when his lips go to to your neck, softly sucking and kissing on the sensitive area.

You reach up for his hair, caressing it as he continues to kiss your neck.

Your toes curl and legs wrap around his waist when you feel the warm sensation of his breath hitting your neck.

He gives you another kiss on your lips before he picks you up and carries you out of the kitchen, making sure to play with your ass along the way.

A few giggles escape your lips at the feel off his hands playing with your ass, and the quick kisses he scatters across your face.

You start to throb when you begin to feel the hardening of his dick against your clothed vagina.

You begin to clench around air, craving the feel of him inside of you, along with the fact that he looks so devilish and hot as he hovers over you after he places you on the bed.

His soft hair tickles your face as he watches you with hungry eyes, the chain that you got him for his birthday, dangling from his neck. Just the sight of that alone makes you pull him down for another kiss.

Your legs wrap around him again, bringing him closer to you so you can feel his hardening cock against you again.

You whimper when you feel it throb against you, clothed and all.

The taste of butter icing and flour still lingers on your lips as you continue to kiss him.

You both stop for a moment, taking a break to catch your breaths again.

You start to chuckle when you properly see the state of him. There's a few smudges of white flour on his face and chest, and streaks of it in his hair.

"What?" He raises an eyebrow while nudging your nose with his finger.

"You're covered in flour"

"Well yeah, that's usually what happens when you suddenly get attacked with it" he teases and you hit him on his chest which has no affect on him at all.

"You don't look that much different either" he muses as he swipes his finger against your skin to get some icing just before he licks it off.

"Let me clean you up" you look up at him as he looks at you for a moment before he realises what you mean.

He gets off of you, changing position with you, as you climb on top of him.

You watch his chest raise slightly as he watches you quietly.

You bend down and begin to kiss his lips before you pull away and kiss his jaw. You can hear the sound of his slow breaths as you continue to kiss down his jaw, leading to his neck.

You give his neck one kiss before you send a wet lick to it.

You notice he gulps at the sensation which only makes you do it again. You continue to lick away the flour that forms on his neck and chest, sending him small kisses now and then.

You hum when his large hands start to caress your ass again.

You realise that you're still in your clothes that you've been in since this morning and make it your mission to quickly finish up cleaning Jungkook so you can get undressed.

When you're finished, you look up and watch his sly smirk turn into a wider grin.

He brushes your nose slightly, taking off some flour that managed to get on there as you was cleaning him up.

One hand still caressing your ass, the other one finds it's way to your breast and he begins to grope it. His thumb playing with your perked nipple in the process.

"Jungkook" your moan fills the room as he continues to play with your breast, his other hand making it's way to the other one.

Your back slightly arches, your clothed pussy brushing against his hardened cock. You begin to rock slowly back and forth despite you still being fully clothed.

"Let's take these off" he mutters as he flips you guys both around again, earning a small giggle from you as your back hits the bed softy, sending you bouncing a little bit.

He knees before you and you lift up as he begins to take off your leggings, his tatted arms flexing as he successfully takes them off, leaving you in just your panties and shirt. He then follows by taking of his shirt and you instantly eye his exposed chest. His skin is slightly damp due to the thin layer of sweat and your saliva. You run your hand down his chest, down towards his abdomen feeling the hard work he puts in the gym regularly.

You close your legs unconsciously, feeling the cold air hit your exposed skin.

Jungkook notices this action and runs his hand along the surface of your skin, all the way up to your thighs. He bends down slightly, looking up at you through his lashes before he gives you a smirk, still holding his gaze as he hooks his finger under the edge of the fabric that's covering your wet vagina.

You could feel the wetness between your legs the minute Jungkook lifted you onto the counter. You know Jungkook senses your wetness by the visible smirk on his face as he shifts his focus to your clothed pussy.

His gaze stays on it for a few moments, him licking his lips in the process just before he slides your panties down with your help.

The air hits your wet pussy which makes you shift uncomfortably, you can feel the wetness start to spread around the area as Jungkook wastes to time in using two of his fingers to stroke it. After he's spread your juices around, he gets comfortable giving you one last look before he goes down on you.

You gasp and moan out his name the second his tongue comes in contact with your pussy. You grip the bed sheets when he sucks on your clit.

"Mmmh" he hums against it, sending vibrations which makes you grab his hair, tugging at it. He lets out another hum at your action which only makes you call out his name again.

His tongue enters your warm insides, letting your clit have a break from the constant sucking and licking.

A soft whimper leaves your lips when he removes his tongue and adds a finger, moving it in and out.

You look up to the ceiling, trying to relieve yourself from the pleasure you're feeling in this moment.

His tongue returns as he adds another finger inside of you. He continues to go to town and you can feel yourself beginning to cum.

Your hands still tangled in his hair, push his head down a bit further, guiding him to the rhythm you want him to go to ride you out of your high.

Your stomach tightens and your pussy clenches around his fingers as they continue to move in and out inside of you. You can feel the wetness spread around your thighs as you grind along with the movements of his fingers.

The sounds of your wetness and the action of Jungkook eating your pussy can be heard throughout the room, along with the faint sound of the music playing in the distance.

Your breathing begins to fasten and it becomes heavier as you repeatedly moan out his name as you feel yourself jerk.

His fingers pick up pace as he senses your climax.

Your body continues to slightly jerk and a light pleasured hum escapes his lips as he feels you tighten around his fingers again.

"That's it, come for me baby".

He watches you come from his position between your thighs.

After a while his fingers leave you and you whimper at the loss of contact.

He smiles down at your tired state. The sweat glistening on your skin makes him eye you dangerously as he comes back up to you to kiss you on your lips. You taste yourself on him and when you pull away you see a glint of your juices on his chin.

As you both continue to kiss, your hand goes down to his sweatpants, disappearing underneath the fabric and coming in contact with his erect length.

He hisses at the touch, eagerly kissing you deeper as you stroke him back and forth.

Your thumb brushes against his tip, already feeling the pre-cum. You continue to stroke him as he sends wet kisses down your neck and jaw.

His hands make a move to messily remove your shirt and your bra, successfully doing so, he then sucks on your erect bud earning another moan from you.

Moans and mumbles exchange from one another as you both continue to please each other.

"Fuck me Jungkook" you plead to him as your hand continues to slide up and down his thick length.

Jungkook wastes no time in pulling down his sweatpants along with his joggers.

When he's finished, you reach down to him again and slowly stroke his length against your wet pussy.

You both moan at the skin contact.

Your eyes land on his dick.

Thick and erect, and slightly shimmering with his cum. The tip is slightly red and swollen, you swallow your saliva and lick your lips wishing that you spent less time having him in your hand, so you could have him in your mouth.

You direct his throbbing cock towards your eager entrance, sliding it up and down before you push it in.

You both moan in unison, Jungkooks eyebrows furrowed as he bites his lip while he begins to thrust in and out of you.

His hair is now slightly damp due to sweat, you push back the little strings that fall onto his face, not making much of a difference as they just fall right back.

The wet sounds of your juices and the slapping of your skin is like a melody to your ears and you can almost feel yourself cum already.

"F-fuck Kook" you moan as your breath quickens.

Your hand brushes against his chest as it slowly makes its way down to his abdomen.

The gold chain that you love on him swings back and forth almost sending you in a trance as you watch it, eyes flickering from the chain to his face.

His face still holds that pleasured scowl and you smile at the way his grunts can be heard.

You reach up to touch his chain deciding to play with it as his strokes become more intense.

You clench around him which makes him grunt another time.

One hand is still playing with his chain, while the other is caressing the skin on his back when Jungkooks phone rings.

Jungkooks pace decreases gradually as the sound of his phone continues to ring in both of your ears.

You both make no move to answer it, but it's beginning to annoy you when it stops for a moment and then the ringing starts again.

Jungkook curses as he reaches towards the nightstand where he left his phone while he was taking off his sweatpants. He checks the Caller ID and rolls his eyes while cursing again.

"It's work" he tells you and you frown because you know he'll have to answer it.

He doesn't look too happy with the idea either, but kisses you quickly before he pulls out of you, causing you to press your thighs together at the loss of his dick inside you.

He would have continued to fuck you while talking on the phone, but he knew when it was work calling it was always important and long, especially if they're calling him more than once in a row.

You can't help but to snicker at his pissed off tone and the way his tongue pokes his cheek in frustration.

You can just imagine the hard time he's going to give to the person who called him.

He gets off of the bed sending you one glance that holds an apologetic and still horny expression to it before he leaves the room while rushing and putting on his boxers that were messily thrown on the floor along with your leggings and shirt.

#bts smut #bts au fic #jungkook #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #jk #smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #wattpad #Spotify #slow burn #jungkook smut

258 notes · View notes

vinetae · 1 year

Note

Can I please ask for a neighbour jimin who gets intensely attracted to y/n, they flirt a lil here and there and due to a guy's visit he gets extremely possesive and claims his ownership 💦🥵

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” Your eyes lull to the back of your head at his shameless attempt.

“And you’d be really cute with this knife shoved in your thick head.” He laughs, raising an eyebrow up in questioning.

“So you think I’m cute?”

You scoff, eyes rolling. “Not in the slightest.” He hums, tilting his head before following you into your room.

“But you said really, which means that I was just cute before. So therefore, you think I’m extra cute.”

Smile - PJM

____________________

Genre: Neighbours!Jimin x Neighbors!Reader, (Ft. Love interest Taehyung)

Word Count: my guess... 12K ?

Warnings: Lying, accusations, broken friendships, cunillingus, f.masturbation, wet dreams, pinning, vaginal fingering, games under the table, exhibitionism, voyeurism, light ass play, dirty talk, hurt no comfort (I'm so sorry Tae Tae), use of the word 'faggot', cursing, harsh language, foul language. Camera play, videotaping of sexualactivities, pornographic described photos sessions. Possessive!Jimin, Yandere!Jimin, sub!reader, usage of 'wifey' terms and Y/n being a helpless damsel in distress. Y/n being innocent, and Jimin loves it lol. Jimin coerces Y/n into a nude photography shoot. Jimin is VERY VERY sneaky and charming.

A/n: this got lost in my Tumblr drafts which I don't use anymore. I'm so sorry, anon! Please forgive me 🙏🙏🙏🙏💜 I wanted to post this to remind myself to write part 2 when I get the chance. To give you guys a sneak peak I guess? I just gotta write the steamy.. 🥵

You take in a deep breath, nodding your head in assurance. “Thanks again for the help, guys! Really appreciate it.” They’re quick to ignore the comment, brushing past your shoulder quite roughly. You silently groan, rubbing at the sensitive skin before turning back around to meet their gazes.

“Total’s 120 for the three hours plus lift.” He gruffs, jotting down the amount on the piece of paper. You nod, feeling the jolt of him shoving the little slip into your grip.

“Have it paid by next Tuesday.” He turns around, picking the large toolbox up off your oak flooring before exiting. You rush over, leaning in the door to thank them once again but they don’t return the same attitude.

You huff, folding your arms at the annoyance. Blowing a piece of hair from your view, your eyes scan the loitered hallway full of your things.

Your eyes follow a dark shadow across the corridor, waving at the young man. A black ball cap covered his face, along with a darkened gray mask. His clothes had resembled ones that someone would sleep in to keep warm in the cold winter days. Black sweatpants and sweatshirt to match.

Your arm flies in the air, waving as he passes by. “Hi!”

He brushes your arm, moving past your body before walking into the doorway of his apartment.

“Hmph. Rude much..” You gruff, taking in a breath.

“Alright..” You lean down to lift the heavy box. It had been quite heavy, until suddenly the weight felt light as a feather. You lean to the side to look past the large cardboard box, seeing a young flash you a bright smile.

“Here, I’ve got it.” He adds, pushing his way past the rest of your things before turning around for guidance.

“Oh uh- just set it down in the livingroom.” He nods, placing the large box down before walking back to the hallways. Your hand catches his shoulder before he continues.

“Uhm.. who are you?”

He flashes a quick grin before lifting another box. “I’m part of the moving crew. Sorry my dad’s such a..”

“Pain in the ass?” He laughs at the joke.

“Exactly.” His hand extends out, a boxy smile plasters his expressions. “My name’s Kim Taehyung.” You nod, shaking his hand with the same enthusiasm. You take a glance down the hallway, frowning.

“Won’t you miss your ride?” He shakes his head, while hoisting two boxes into his grip.

“I drove here myself. I’m just working as a mover for the summer. Just some extra cash I can show off.” He winks before taking the boxes back into your apartment. You chuckle, watching as he makes quick work of the boxes that would’ve taken you hours to finish moving.

“Oh- How rude of me!” You yelp, running to the kitchen, peaking out from the fridge’s door to call out to him. “Would you like anything to drink?” He sets the box down, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead. His permed fluffy, puppy-like hair had floofed up even more from Korea’s hot summers.

“Water please?” He asks. Your body freeze at the sight. Eyes trailing down the plains of his torso, watching as his six-pack tenses with each move of his joints. The lump in your throat felt as thick as a golf ball.

“Uh- yes. Of course!” You laugh it off, trying to hide the nervousness in your tone. You’re quick to make work of his water -like there was much to do anyways- before you set it on the coffee table he’d already placed down. His sweating body takes a seat on your hardwood floors, legs crossing in manner.

“Thank you” He glances up through the glass, flashing you a bright smile. You plop down onto the edge of your sectional, taking slight-

Who were you kidding?

You’re watching this Taehyung guy drink water like it’s the best telanovela you’d ever seen.

He downs the glass quickly, setting it quietly on the coffee table in front of the two of you. “Anything else I can do?” He questions, internally smirking at the way you’d been staring at his adam’s apple for the past minute or so.

You shake your head, pulling yourself from the rabbit hole of dirty thoughts. “I think that’s it.” You reach out to your purse, rummaging through the tiny folds of tightly laced fabrics before taking a glance up. “How much do I owe you?”

He smiles, pulling out his phone to calculate the total. His eyebrows knit together, watching as his face intensifies on the numbers. After a few minutes of torture, he contuines, sliding the phone back into his pocket.

“Sixty-nine dollars, or.." He eyes you up and down, lips trailing out to pad across his bottom lip. "you.”

Your eyebrow quirks at his weird statement. He shakes his head, chuckling nervously.

“No I mean- Ah fuck.. I’m not good with pick up lines, am I?” His hand reaches back to rub at the nape of his neck, acting as if he’s shying out of asking his highschool date to the prom. A few seconds go by before you get it. Your face immediately flushes.

“No- Oh my God, I’m so dumb- Sorry! My Korean’s still a little wonky, you know?”

You smile, trying to hide the embarrassment behind your laugh. He chuckles at the irony.

“But your total would be sixty-nine. Just saying.” You let out a sharp laugh, shaking your head. “No way.” He pulls his phone from the pocket of his khakis, showing the blue an black screen which indeed had sixty-nine calculated in for about an hour.

“Damn.” He chuckles, nodding. “It’s a sign, right?” His eyebrows raise, flashing a cheeky grin towards you.

“Oh, for sure~” You tease, reaching into the pouch of your purse, pulling your phone from its concealment.

“How about this? I pay you, and ask you out?” You watch as a little hue of pink flushes his round cheeks. “Ask me out? Hey, I was the one to ask first.” You laugh, nodding.

“Yeah but you sucked at it.” He pouts but eventually agrees. “Yeah.. okay fine.” He stands up, getting a little more confident. “So how about this Saturday? 8:30?” You nod, rising to meet his level. Your hand reaches out, handing him the correct amount of money, as well as your number written on the piece of paper.

“Sounds like a date.” He smiles like a little kid in a candy store before making his way quickly out the door. Before you hear the lock click, he’s quick to rush back in, using the door as support.

“Wait! What’s your name?” You giggle, leaning down to start unpacking one of your boxes.

“It’s Y/n.”

You let out a deep breath, setting the huge load of laundry down onto the floor, admiring your hard work. You’d gotten almost everything done in just a few hours, since it hadn’t been a huge apartment. Now, all you had to do was wash your clothes.

You lean down, throwing your darks in first before setting the machine’s timer.

[Error]

“What?” You groan, pressing the button again, just for the little alarm to beep at you again.

[Error]

“Ugh!” You bend down more, examining if there had been anything wrong with the machine. Once you knew it wasn’t it’s compartments, you rise back up to meet with the annoying error signal again.

“Okay.. try this again.” You inhale calmly, trying to remember your breathing techniques you’d learned from the free month of yoga you’d signed up for.

“Breeeathe, Y/n. It’s just a little-”

[Error]

“Why you piece of shi!-”

A hand comes to bang in front of your face as you fumble back at the sudden noise. Your eyes glance over to your left side, watching as the man who’d hit the machine had been reaching down to take his things out of the lower machine. He glances up, the black face mask hides any kind of emotion he might’ve shown.

“It gets stuck sometimes. Gotta hit it.” He says monotony, lifting his charcoal gray basket to his chest. You flash a quick smile, bowing.

“Thank yo-”

He was gone.

Jimin lets out a sigh, throwing the bag of laundry down onto his duvet cover. Shuffling over to the computer, plops down into his gaming chair. He slides his headset over, turning on his PC. The screen flashes a few times before loading up his game.

“Heyyyy it’s J-man!” His friends chant on the other line. He scoffs, quick to choose his gun and character.

“Yeah yeah, don’t shit your pants, alright? I’m only gonna play one round.” They all laugh at that, echoing through the mics. “Jimin and only one round?”

“Oh please, his girlfriends beg to differ!” The two boys snicker over the lines, making Jimin groan in frustration. One thing his stupid mates had said caught his ear though.

“You hear about the new girl who died in Chun-dae complex?”

“No shittt bro. Wait- Jimin isn’t that where you live?”

Jimin’s body freezes. His mic goes silent, as he calms his labored breaths. His finger hovers over the mic button before finally replying. “Yeah.” Everyone goes crazy.

“Oh shiiit. Bro do you know what happened?”

“Did you know her?

“Did you fuck her is the question, gentleman.” They all agree, waiting for his response. He groans, eyes lulling to the back of his head before pressing the T button.

“Of course I didn’t know her. It was all over the news, though. Cameraman and news channels cleaned every inch of her apartment.” They all ‘ooo’ in curiosity.

“Hah, knowing him he probably was the one to kill the poor thing.”

“Hey, Ji-bom, that's not funny. My sister knew her.”

Ji-sung scoffs over the mic before replying. “Oh yeah? Only ‘cause they were scissoring each other the night before, isn’t that right?”

“Ayoo, Ji-bom chill man.” Kwang chimes in at the banter. Jimin scoffs at his idiot teamates.

“I’m just sayin’. Fucking faggot got what she deserved, dude.”

“Alright alright that’s enough guys-”

“That’s enough, both of you.” Jin barks back at the two, silencing the chatroom.

“Thank you, hyung. Anyways, Jimin isn’t there a new girl moving into her apartment?”

“Oooo yeah. Go check her out. I heard she just moved to Korea, too.”

“Foreigner?” Jungkook chimes in.

Jimin lets out a sigh, questioning why he’s even friends with any these idiots. He picks up the mic piece, making himself as clear as he can before answering.

“I’ve already seen her.” He scoffs, spinning quietly in his chair to face the wall.

“Ain’t much.” He retorts, clicking out of the call before throwing his wireless headphones to the side.

His eyes take a glance to the organized white board decorated meticulously with red and blue strings, the woman’s face in the center had made a smirk creep up his face.

“Oh fuck-” You curse, watching as the little orange from your net rolls from the paper bags and down the stairs. You whines, setting the little bags to the floor, following the rolling fruit.

“Come back here you little-” Right before you’re able to catch the run away, a soled shoe props itself ontop of the orange. Your eyes flash up, seeing the same man from earlier towering over your figure.

“Oh- thank you..” You bow to reach the object, but he’s quicker to pick it up. The black hat had been capped over his head, revealing the flat of his glistening forehead. His milky skin gleams in the floruescent lights, as he observes your orange like an artist admiring their work of art.

“It’s gone bad.” He comments, throwing it up the stairs as you both watch it land in the space of your bag. Perfectly sitting ontop of the thin paper container.

“Wow..” You awe at his skills, turning around to thank him once more. His black mask is pulled down to reveal a set of large and cherry red lips. A smirk plasters his face.

“Why didn’t you just take the elevator?”

You take a look down, trying to remember why you had gone this was in the first place.

“I.. Don’t really remember.” He hums, leaning against the white stair railing for support.

“You’re the girl from room 13, right?” You nod, flashing him a bright smile.

“Yep! I think you’re..”

“Room 14.”

You nod sharply, sticking your hand out. His eyebrow raises at the gesture.

“Oh right.. Korea.” You cheek flush with a red tint, as you slowly go to retract your hand. However, he’s quick to take it in his grip, giving you a firm shake. His grip had pulled you closer in proximity, your body almost flushed against his completely. You could see the little twinge of gold specks peaking from his chocolate irises.

Where had your voice gone all of a sudden??

“I..I- Uhm.. My name’s Y/n.” You watch the corner of his mouth tug upwards at your stutter.

“Jimin.”

It had now been the second day of moving in. You decided to go explore the complex a bit more, wanting to know its history further than what the website had briefly explained.

Your feet click against the old marbled flooring, and echoed clatter sounds through the empty rooms. Your head swished back and forth, taking a few glances at the passing doors on your way to the elevators.

That’s odd.

You’d been told that this apartment was constantly having people coming in and out all the time, but you haven’t seen a single soul since the guy in the stairwell.

You shake your head, pulling yourself from the rabbit hole of your silly thoughts. You chalk it up to a weird coincidence. You’d moved in on a Wednesday anyways. Everyone was probably at work when you had tried greeting them.

You make your way past the set of elevator doors, pressing the button to make quick work of getting downstairs.

“Hold it!” You hear someone call out, reaching out to pause the elevator doors form shutting completely. He sighs, bowing to thank you as much as the boxes in his arms could. He sighs, taking in deep breaths.

“Ah, thank yo- Y/n?” Your head cranes to the side, seeing Taehyung’s boxy smile and permed, curly locks flowing in the elevator’s A/C.

“Taehyung? What are you doing back here?” He smiles, flashing you a thousand-watt grin. “I’m helping an ajuma switch rooms.” He leans down, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper.

“She said she hates hearing the little ghost girl running across her ceiling..” Chills spiral down your back like a mattress coil. He chuckles, hitting your back gently.

“I’m kidding! Well, I mean she did say that so.. I guess I wasn’t kidding..” He shrugs, fixing the collar of his Frank Sinatra hoodie. He continues to keep the conversation going, trying to explain himself.

“Would it help if I said she was diagnosed with schizophrenia?” Your eyebrows knit in fear. A cold rush flows through your blood.

“Not really..” He pouts, lip peeking out to quiver.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to scare you, promise!” You finally let go a bit, flashing him a slight smile.

“It’s okay.” He nods in excitement, glancing around the room awkwardly before turning back to catch your attention. “So how are you liking your new apartment?” He questions, rocking on the balls of his heels, clasping his hands behind his back. You let out a sigh, slightly nodding.

“I like it. I wish people were a little more friendly, though..” He nods, a compassionate look plastering his face. “Yeah.. it’s got a lot of old people in it, so can’t really ask for the nicest of treatments.” You sigh, nodding at the truth.

“But hey! It’s got a nice view, huh?” You giggle at his excitement, agreeing. “Indeed. And I’ve got one kinda nice neighbour?” He flashes you an adorable boxy smile. “Really? Who?”

“He said his name was like- Jimin or something.”

The whole atmosphere feezes. Taehyung’s once bouncy and energetic vibe fades, and a dark, mysterious look plasters his face.

“Y/n..” He turns to face you, taking your hand in his gently. “Promise me you’ll stay away from him, alright?” Your eyebrow knits in confusion.

“What? Why? He seemed okay.” He shakes his head quickly. “I don’t know much but- he’s got a not so nice reputation around here..” The elevator dings, as the doors slides open. He sighs, taking the boxes back into his arms before turning to give you one last piece of advise.

“Just- stay away from him.”

“Come on you freaking- Ugh!” You’d been trying for the past two hours to hook up the wifi and ethernet cables so you can watch Netflix, but you lost the instructions packet while moving your things around. You groan out, throwing the screwdriver to the side in frustration.

You rise before walking out of your apartment door, as Taehyung’s voice rings in your mind.

“He’s got a ‘not so nice’ reputation around here..”

“Just- stay away from him.”

Your head shakes the thoughts away as you ring the doorbell.

A few minutes after, the door starts to unlock, cracking open to reveal a messy haired man standing in the doorway.

“Uh- Jimin?” You ask, wondering if it had been the same man you’d see earlier. He hums, leaning on the doorframe for support. The fuzzy blanket wrapped around his small frame had made him look completely harmless.

Which only fueled your motives.

“Uh- Hi. We met in the stairway earlier and-”

“Ah yeah.” He yawns, face resembling one of a little baby puppy waking up from it’s naptime. “Y/n, right?” You nod, happy that someone had remembered who you were.

“Yes, that’s me haha. Uhm so- I was wondering if you knew anything about wifi cables?” His eyebrow raises at the question, but continues on.

“Yeah. Why?” You flash a large grin, putting on your best ‘I’m a woman, I need help, please help me’ look.

What?

It’s worked before.

“Great! I’ve just been struggling with hooking up my wifi cables to the outlet and it’s really frustrating and-” He cuts you off with a chuckle. “That’s the easiest thing setting up in the apartment.” You huff, but continue.

“Well if it’s so easy, then it won’t take you long at all.” He chuckles, arms crossing over his chest as you’d taken notice of his more aware self stealing ‘sleepy’s’ spotlight.

“What’s in it for me?” He teases, flashing a cheesy grin. You nod, trying to think of something a man would want.

Other than that..

“Uhm- I could make you dinner?” He thinks for a second, before opening the door all the way.

“Alright. Just lemme grab a shirt.”

Jimin’s eyes take a few double takes around Y/n’s apartment. The tiny couch tucked in the corner, covered in plastic wrapping and dusty blankets. The cream colored high walls stood twice his size, and really? That was the only beautiful part about living in these shitty apartments.

“So where’s the cable?” He questions, head craning a full 180 to observe the lack of decorations. She flashes a small, embarrassed grin while pointing to a separate selected room. His fingertips graze the surface of her marble countertops. Lifting his finger, he examines the light dusk bits his skin had picked up. He’s quick to wipe the dirt on the fabric of his jeans.

“You know, the landlord said that the internet cable would be in the mainroom but-”

“What the fuck..” His feet stop behind yours, observing the cramped space of your bathroom.

He watches your nails reach behind your head, scratching as you let out a small chuckle. “Yeah..”

He scoffs, eyes taut on the little internet box shoved on a low rickety shelf above the toilet. You bend down to meet his level, waiting for his next move. “Makes sense on why they knocked off a few bucks..” You laugh nervously, eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

He lets out a short chuckle, reaching around to pull the plug. He rises to his feet, arms crossing over his chest. “What a bunch of idiots..” He mumbles, sighing.

You rise as well, glancing up at his frustrated figure. “Anything I can do?” He stops running his hand through his black toussels, taking a glance at your way.

“Yeah.” He comments, bending back down to reach into his toolbag.

“Got any beer?”

You take in deep breath, knee tapping anxiously against your hardwood floors. You’d been waiting outside the bathroom for the past ten minutes. He offer to relocate the router so it wouldn’t be a future firehazard. You happily agreed, trusting his insticts.

He was the man, anyways.

Your nails had almost been cleaned right off from the tightness of your jaw nervously chewing on the poor things. Every few minutes you’d heard a sigh of frustration or mumbled curse as he’d been removing the wires from inside your walls.

“Hey, wifey,” He yelps out. You’re quick to make your way into the small bathroom.

“Need anything?” Your jaw drops at the sight. His tanned skin had glistened with a sheet of sweat, jet-black locks greased and pulled back to sit slick against the crown of his head. A few dry and perfectly good stragles make their debut on the slick of his forehead. His white shirt you’d seen his thrown on prior to coming over was drenched making the thin material completely see-through.

He gripes, rising to his feet once more. His large hands held the tiny router in one, with wire cutter in the other. He chuckles, watching your eyes blow as wide as cartoon characters.

“Might wanna close that mouth if you’re not gonna put it to good use, darling.”

That-

Didn’t help.

You’re quick to pull yourself from the train of spiral thoughts, nodding at his commentary. He lets out a short laugh, pushing the little router into your chest. You yelp a little ‘oof’, gripping onto the device.

“What.. am I gonna do with this?” You ask, watching him packing the things in his toolbag, slinging it over his shoulder before replying with a smirk.

“Replace it. Piece of crap is older than my mom's kimchi recipe.” He reaches upwards, stretching the length of his elongated spine. You silently gawk at the peak of skin underneath his shirt. He twists around, giving you a little smirk.

“Dinner ready yet?” You shake your head, pointing at the clock on the wall. He glances over, reading the time set.

6pm.

He scoffs, throwing his bag onto the floor to lean up against the edge of your little centered table.

“Besides,” You add, finally having found your voice once more. You watch one of his darkened eyebrows quirk at the comment.

“I asked you to fix it.”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t fix it.”

He chuckles, leaning further into the table’s edge. “Can’t fix something I don’t have.”

You pout, crossing your arms to match his. “Why don’t you have it?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” He asks, leaning towards your direction to lazily tower over your figure. You back down, feeling his intense aura consume yours like a little bunny caught by the big bad wolf.

“You need a new router, the other one won’t connect to the complex’s main central.” You watch his narrowed eyes soften upon seeing your intimidated ones. He sighs, carding a hand through his greasy locks, flipping his chin up to shake the entirety of his head.

“Hardware store’s closed for today already. You can check tomorrow. If you order it online, it’ll take up to a week to have it shipped.” You huff, annoyed with the cursed thing.

His smirk toys with your aggravated posture.

“I don’t supposed you have an extra one?” You plead, flashing your most intense puppy-like eyes.He smirks, shaking his head.

“Nope, sorry, Wifey.” Your eyes flash up to meet him.

“What’s with that?” His shoulders shrug, an innocent look splays his sharp features. You groan, walking away to tug the roots of your hair in frustration. You twist around, throwing yours hands down.

“There’s NOTHING you can do?” He lifts from counter, slowly coasting his way to stalk your frame. He towers over you, a smirk plasters his features.

“There’s alot I can do. But for that?” His finger points to the little old device on the counter where you’d placed it.

“No can do.”

You take in a deep breath as he makes his way to jump onto the counter’s surface, feet swinging back and forth like a little kid. He watches your features slowly fade from hopeful to hopeless in a matter of seconds. Your eyes quicken over the area of your apartment, as if he could almost see the little gears trying to push their way to start.

After a while of pacing and panic, you’d just settled on giving into fate. “Alright.” You sigh, slowing your paces to a stop. Your eyes glance up, seeing him propping himself back on the heels of his palms, an amused smirk paints his face.

“Still up for dinner?”

“Not very wifely of you, Y/n.” He comments, stuffing a face full of the hot rice you’d ordered for him.

“I’m not trying to be wifely, Jimin.” He chuckles at that.

You’d settled for just ordering in. So here you sat, using the flat of your old couch as a backrest as the two of you sat on the hardwood floor eating sticky rice and crunchy chicken you’d gotten from the place across from your apartment.

“I like that.” Your head cranes, giving him a questioning look.

“Like what?”

He grins, taking another bite of his largely portioned rice bowl.

“When you say my name.”

You chuckle, clicking the remote to find something to entertain this kind of awkward situation. You feel him shift a bit, crossing his legs to get into a more relaxed position.

“So,” he starts, digging in the little to-go box for the last of his rice. His voice strings with casualty and familiarity which he laced to ease this into a more comfortable atmosphere for the both of you.

“Why this shithole?” You chuckle, reflecting back on the selection process you’d forced yourself to go through.

“It was kind of an emergency situation. I wanted to come here for animation and graphic designs.. But, I had to move out quickly.” His eyebrow quirks at the questioning sentence.

“Why?”

You sigh, fingertip grazes over the ridges of your hardwood floor. Should you really be letting an almost stranger know so much about your personal affairs?

Well, you two were neighbors now.

“Stuff just got too complicated in my house.” He nods, not wanting to pry on more of the obvious still fresh wound. His throat clears, as he begins clearing your table of the plastic wrappers and trash.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I got kicked from my own house.” You chuckle, head turning to face him. “Really? What could you possibly have done?” He laughs, leaning back against the couch’s front.

“What? Don’t think I’d get into trouble?” Your head shakes at his question. “Frankly, you look like a cinnamon roll.” He chuckles, taking a sip of his soju.

“Oh really?” He leans in further, the pad of his lips brushes your ear’s shell. Hot breaths roll past your heating cheeks. His voice is low and sensual now.

“I mean- you just like blacks, right?” He chuckles at that. He reaches out, ruffling your hair between his fingers.

“You’re cute.”

“Oh fuck..” He moans out, hand palming himself over the clad of his boxer-briefs. His body, slung forward, propped up to leave the back of his chair lonely and cold. His chin tilts upwards, eyes focused on the bright of his screen.

“Mmmm just like that, baby” He groans, free hand gripping the edge of his chair, knuckles hueing to a white tint at the pressure. He watches the woman drop the fabrics of her remaining clothing items. Her pink, basic underwear slipped from the waist of her tight skin.

“Yeahhh” His heavy moans pant at the sight of the beautiful woman exposing herself for the camera. His palm wrapped around the base, a slow pace up and down the length of his throbbing cock. His sweaty bangs come to fly forward before sticking to the damped of his forehead. His mouth stifles sounds that would be a one-way ticket to hell.

Oh, how he wished she'd caress her breasts.

His eyes focus on the way her hair falls out of its messy bun to cascade down the beautiful plains of her back. A small, cursive tattoo sits atop the nape of her neck. The little decoration only furthers him deeper into his state of temporary euphoria.

The soap slides down her body, grime and grease being removed from even the most difficult crevasse. Suds and white foam paint a thin sheet over the bare of her entire frame. His hips slightly raise out of control at the sight. The red and angered tip of his cock leaks a thick string of pre-cum from his slit.

Her hand reaches out to steady herself, making sure she doesn’t slip from the sudsy shower floor. Her long, manicured nails made him wish she’d ruin his back with them. Red scratches running up along the plains of his shoulder blades only edged him on further.

His balls tighten, warning him of his nearing end. He groans out, leaning back against his gaming chair as he lifts a leg to prop up on the desk, showing the invisible camera on his computer all of his lengthy and girthy glory. After a few minutes of slowed strokes, his balls ached with pain.

He loved it.

His hand wrapped around his cock picks up the pace. Body practically leaping from his seat.

“Fuck!” He moans out, lips dropping to form an O-shape as a string of hot cum shoots onto the towel that he’d held to his tip right before blowing his load.

He clicks a few buttons, watching as the camera zooms in at the perfect time. She’d finished up, exiting the shower to wrap a warm and fuzzy looking lengthy towel around her fitted body. The steam had fogged the glass mirror above the sink, but the camera still stood clear as fresh water.

The cameraman had cleverly sprung for the fog-avoidant cameras.

He, being the cameraman..

You reach over, answering the incoming call that had rung for the past few seconds. You hug the portion of your towel to your body, clinging it as to not accidentally flash a single soul. An all-too-cheery voice answers.

“Y/n! So, I was thinking- We never really decided on a place to eat at.” He pouts, a teasing tone peaks his expressions. Even though you couldn’t see him, you could see the child-like boxy smile he’d always sport.

You decide to have a little fun with your new found friend. “I’m sorry- Who’s this?” You could hear the hurt in his voice.

“It’s Taehyung.. Already forgot about me, huh?” You giggle, throwing the phone onto your bed after pressing the speaker button.

“I’m playing with you Taehyung.” He huffs. “Not very funny of a joke, ma’am.” He retorts, making you snicker at the nickname.

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry Taehyung-ie. How about I make it up to you?” His voice cheers up quickly, amusement peaking his interests.

“And how would you do that, milady?” His voice sports a gentleman-y, british accent as if he’d been just brought out of a shakespeare play.

You throw on a quick T-shirt before sprawling out on your bed. “Well, how about coming over tonight? I could make us some coffees.. Or I’ve got wine too.” He sucks in a breath, a saddened tone controls his voice.

“Sorry, can’t tonight. Dad’s got me working extra hours all over Seoul, I’m not even home yet.” You pout, toying with your little anxiety ring you’d gotten from a friend back home.

“Oh, okay then.” You’re quick to flip over, getting into a more comfortable position on your back. You stare up at the ceiling while talking with your only friend.

“So, how is work?” Before you get a response you hear a loud crash on the other end.

“Shit- I have to go, Y/n. Bye!”

“Oh oka-”

He ends the call.

You sigh, rolling back and forth on the surface of your bed. You’d still been on Chicago’s clock, so you were wide awake right now. Your eyes roll at the time blinking on your nightstand’s alarm clock.

12:39AM.

You needed to get to sleep. You KNEW you needed to get to sleep. But, your body had different plans. You decide to roll yourself out of bed, making your way to the little walk in closet right before the front door. You slide on your little fuzzy boots and a pair of sweatpants before walking out the door.

“Oh!” You turn around, seeing Jimin leaning outside of his front door to drop off the trash in the hallway. You run up, catching him before he has the chance to slip back into his dungeon.

“Hey-” You call, flashing him a warm smile.

He slams the door in your face.

Your frown reappears, sighing.

What was everyone’s problem with you?

You were about to continue on your journey for late night convenient store snacks, but something inside of you had irked to get a hi from him still. So, you knock on his door.

No answer.

“Come on, Jimin. I know you’re in there!” You call out, banging on his door now. After a few minutes and a rude comment from a neighbor telling you in a very passive way to ‘shut up’ he’d finally opened the door. You push right through, hands on your hips to signal off confidence.

“Y/n what do you-”

“Why didn’t you say hello back?” He shakes his head, not following.

“What do you mean-”

“I just said hi to you, and you slammed the door in my face!” He chuckles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“I just woke up.” Somehow, you don’t believe that.

Your stupid self decides to rummage through his things.

“Oh really?” You walk yourself over to his desk and gaming chair, feeling the monitor’s heat. “Hmm, computer’s still warm.” You comment, accidentally bumping the mouse with your wrist. The screen lights up, as your face drains with color.

A bunch of women barely dressed on a leopard-print bed, hands rubbing and touching all over each other while some had fully been going down on one another.

You could hear a dark chuckle in Jimin’s voice. A body comes up behind yours, towering your frame from backing.

“Caught me.” He whispers,fingertips trailing up the skin of your arms. You flinch, backing away from his touches as he lets out a laugh. “What? Aw, I’m just having a little fun with you.” He flashes you a cheeky wink as you try and calm your beating heart.

“I– Sorry. I-I’ll just leave now-” He chuckles, opening the door wide. As you make your way through the exit, he leaves a few words to trail in your ears.

For the past few days you’d been bickering with Taehyung over where to go. Since you both were in moving saving mode, you decided to just cook up a nice dinner and watch a movie instead.

You’re almost done putting the final touches on the dessert pie until you heard the doorbell ring. Walking past, you reach down to fluff a few pillows on your couch before answering. You crack the door open, a wide smile plastered onto your face until you’d seen who was behind it.

“You..” He chuckles.

“Me.”

Franky you’d been avoiding Jimin for the past two days. Ever since your jet-lagged brain decided it was a good idea to march into his apartment and check out his browsing history, things had been pretty awkward between the two of you.

Well, just for you.

“I’ve got something.” He teases, holding his hands behind his back. You nod, keeping him outside of the door. “Uhm can it wait ‘til later? I’m kinda busy..” He pushes past your shoulders before you could even protest.

“Payback, wifey.” A smirk tugs the corner of his lips as he holds out the tiny box on front of you.

“Take a guess.”

You sigh, shrugging. “I don’t know.”

“That’s the whole point of taking a guess. You’re really bad at this game.” He chuckles, swinging the little box in his grasp.

“I don’t know, Jimin.” He groans, pouting. “You’re no fun.” He unboxes the object, holding it out to show you.

“I still don’t get what it is.” He shakes his head, obviously annoyed by your adituttde.

“Fine, then I guess you don’t need the router.” Your eyes widen.

“Wait!” You reach out to pause his actions, making him smirk. “Oh now you answer me.” He chuckles, setting the little device on your kitchen counter.

His eyes take a glance to the kitchen table, feasting upon the delicious, mouth-watering platters and bowls filled with some of his favorites.

“Ah, good! You remembered our deal.” Your eyes look at the food, then back to him to quickly shake your head.

“Uh no- actually-”

Ding.

Dong.

Jimin’s eyebrow quirks at the revealment of the guy behind your apartment door. Taehyung’s bright and boxy smile soon drops as his eyes land upon the strange man in your livingroom. The newly dyed locks tinted with colors of the sky had shifted from their styled position.

“Who’s this?” Taehyung comments, questioning the new man. Jimin’s lips tug more into a smirk at his confusion.

“Her cousin.” Jimin retorts, watching as you flash him a ‘what?!’ look. Taehyung’s eyebrows knit in confusion as Jimin’s quick to correct himself with a light chuckle.

“Distant.”

You let out a nervous chuckle at his words.

Shit.

The dinner table felt like a couffin. Suffocating and awkwardly tight. Hadn’t helped that your little circular table could barely fit two people, much less three.You had tried to kick him out, really you did. But he had been too stubborn, pulling up his own make shift seat of your lidded trash can to support on. The smug and tight grin on Jimin’s lips had made your jaw clench with annoyance. Taehyung’s quick to clear the thick air, along with his throat.

“So, Y/n. How do you feel about sea animals?” He smiles, trying to ignore the elephant in the room.

Your mouth falls open to answer, but the slick circles drawn against your thigh halts you.. You take a glance over, Jimin on the sidelines taking a large bite of his pork and rice, completely unfazed by the situation. The tense of his right arm doesn’t go unnoticed by you. His hand slipped up the space of your dress, caressing your knee before rising his touch higher.

Your eyes flash back to Taehyung’s who had a questioning look. You let out a loud chuckle, trying to shift your leg away from Jimin’s fingers as your answer.

“Love ‘em.” You flash him a quick smile. He returns the little expression, a relaxed ease sets upon him.

You? Not so much.

“Well what about getting a little wet?” Taehyung quirks, leaning a little closer to make his voice clear.

Jimin’s fork swirls around the surface of his plate, a bored expression plasters his features as he cuts in. “Easy.” You feel the tips of his fingers drag along the heat of your skin, resting on the outers of your underwear. His index finger presses slightly against your soaking panties, your lips fall to form a small O-shape. Thighs squeezing together at the sensation.

“I don’t think she minds getting wet.” Jimin comments, an unamused expression toys his features as he takes a sip of his soju. You nod, shifting slightly in your seat, which in turn had made Jimin’s touch fall further in the gap of your thighs. His fingertips tease your clothed heat, a silent moan rumbles from the deep of your chest.

“Perfect!” He turns his reach into his pocket, pulling out two pieces of thick paper. “The new aquarium in Incheon just opened. I was hoping you and I could maybe go tomorrow?” You nod, trying your best to stay silent. Jimin’s touch lingers on the outerparts of your heat, silently commanding you to beg him.

You weren’t.

Your grin follows the sweet tone in your voice you’d forced yourself to keep, even though everything in your body had been screaming to do quite the opposite.

“So Taehyung,” Jimin comments, sliding the fabrics of your underwear to the side, carding one finger through your slick folds teasingly. Taehyung’s head tilts, smiling friendly even though he’d been quite disappointed in Jimin’s unannounced presence.

“Yeah?” He questions. Jimin shifts, crossing one leg over the other to make himself appear smaller.

Though, his actions had been quite the opposite.

“How’d you two lovebirds meet?” He asks, quietly catching the way your chest tightens as his finger teases your entrance, coating the digit in your juices. A smirk presses his lips.

Taehyung chuckles, a shy glance directed to you. “Well, here actually.” Jimin faints a forced interested look, nodding at the stupid interaction.

“Yeah, my dad had hired me for his moving service for the summer before I go back to college so I could make some more money. I had helped her move in, then shot my shot.” You fight back a moan, letting out a sharp breath as he inserted the length of his finger past your velvet walls. Your hands reach out, one catching on Jimin’s forearm to steady yourself. Silently begging for him to stop so you could enjoy your date with Taehyung.

Jimin nods, almost making your loose it when his finger starts to pump in and out of you at a teasingly slow rate. His eyes narrowed, getting bored with Taehyung’s little story.

“Hah, how funny.”Though his words matched his features, his tone had not. A cold and hardly-entertained looks paces his face.

Taehyung mentally groans at Jimin’s pulsing bicep. He stands, pushing hismelf away from the table with force. You startle, eyebrows meeting in concern.

“Taehyung what’s-”

“You know, it’s kind of common courtesy not to let your neighbor finger fuck you while you’re on a date with another guy.” Jimin smirks at his words, releasing you in his grip, watching as you rise to meet Taehyung’s level.

“Y-You kne-”

"Of course I fucking knew, Y/n. I helped him install his gaming setup when he moved in.” Your head cranes to Jimin, seeing the cocky grin upon his features. Turning back, your eyes meet Taehyung’s. His burned with anger and fury.

“Taehyung I’m so sorry-” He chuckles, scoffing with a harsh tone.

“My thing isn’t that he was groping you on our date, Y/n. It’s the fact that you lied to me.” Your heart aches at his words. Your feet close the space between you and him, but he backs away.

“Don’t, Y/n. And you.” His eyes narrow to Jimin who’d shifted to your seat to lean back. Leg crossed over the other, while his shiny finger had been popped into the crease of his mouth. Taehyung’s hands fist at the sight.

“Dick move, Jimin.”

With that, Taehyung storms out. You tried following him down the hall, but he had been too fast for your7-inch heels to catch up with. You let out a silently breath, leaning up against your front door.

Your eyes land crack open to land upon Jimin’s laxed figure. He’d risen to lean up against the back of your couch, arms crossing his chest. He shakes his head, smirking.

“Not cool, Y/n.” Your fists clench at his cocky tone.

“Get out.” You command, swinging the door open to lead him. He shakes his head, making his way to the door, walking out.

“Over here!” You wave, signaling your location through this messy crowd. He makes a beeline to your table before sitting down quietly. A silence had drawn out for far too long. You take notice in the tanned, unusual overcoat he’d thrown over his white button up and navy blue suit pants. Black loafers to compliment his whole attire.

“Thanks for meeting with me..” You let out a deep breath, trying to break the awkward silence between the two of you. He nods, eyes glancing around the restaurant to look anywhere but your pleading self.

“You’ve got a probem with lying, Y/n.” He comments coldly. You could do nothing but nod, agreeing with his harsh but true words.

‘I know.. Taehyung I’m so sorry for lying to you.” You lean forwards, trying to catch his gaze. He’d done a pretty good job of ignoring you for the past few weeks. 27 missed calls and 14 text messages later, he’d finally caved in and agreed to meet you at the little cafe you’d originally planned to meet at for your first date.

His arms fold across his chest,, leaning back to entertain your guilt. “Go on.”

Your fingers clench around the mug, toying with the warmed handle from the hot joe inside. “I shouldn’t have lied to you about him being my cousin. It was stupid, anyways.” You let out a short chuckle, feeling the atmosphere soften just a bit.

“Indeed.” He still holds onto his firm and upset composure. You push the basket of break rolls to his side, a silent peace offering sits in front of him.

“I do like you, Taehyung. You’re really sweet, and kind and always so considerate of others-” He chuckles, scoffing at your generic sayings.

“Sounds more like a breakup rehearsal than an apology.” You nod, hitting your head at the stupid comments.

“What I’m getting at is; I never should’ve let Jimin do any of that. He was honestly just there to replace my wifi router, swear!” He leans forward, studying your features for any sign of a lie. When he finds none, he returns to his slouched posture taking a sip from his wine glass he’d ordered.

“Then why did you?” His question throws you off.

Why did you let him touch you like that? Get away with it…

Let it go so far.

Taehyung scoffs at your silence. His feet shift, eyebrows raised with sarcasm. His tone lowers, mumbling into the bottom of his wine glass. “Silence of the lamb.”

You sigh, banging your head gently onto the tale before raising up. He takes pity on yourself, deciding to ease you.

“Do you like him?” Your head shakes.

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then tell me,” He leans closer, closing the large, table-sized gap between the two of you.

"Would you have let me do that then?” Your pussy clenches at the thought, Taehyung’s slender fingers thrusting themselves deep against your slick walls, hand cupped over your mouth to shut you up from the ears of others.

Your lips fall flat. Eyes looking at Taehyung, imaging him doing all of those things,

Yet, when you’re thinking of moaning his name, all you can hear is..

“Jimin.” He states coldly, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. If green was jealousy’s color, he’d been a fucking broccoli stalk.

You shake your head, flushing the stupid thoughts from your mind. Your hand reaches out, eyes shading darker to his narrowed ones. You lean closer, brushes of hot air roll past his cheek onto the shell of his ear.

“I want you.”

His dark chuckle stripes the atmosphere from the sexy and alluring scene you’d tried to play. He toys back, giving barely any attention to your neediness.

“Oh really?” You nod, hand reaching down to palm at the forming tent between his thighs. His lips roll out a soft grunt at the touch.

“How much.” He demands, warm hands coming to rub on the balls of your knees. Your lips brush the outer of his reddened ear, tongue poking the sensitive. You moan, sending the thin skin vibrating in waves.

“So badly.”

“Oh fuck-” You moan out, hands gripping onto the skin of his back for a false safety. Nails digging and scratching at the rededened the bare complexion. Your tongue grazes his lips, before he takes you in his reach to swallow yourself whole. Hands roaming each other like wild animals in some kind of feral heat. The headboard claps against the wall’s poor dimensions, securing the dents and markings that were sure to follow tomorrow’s awakening. His voice deepens with each passing, passionate second.

“Shit!” His lips fall to a large O-shape, uncontrollably snapping his hips into yours. His large frame towers over yours, leaning down to plant heavily sloppy kisses to the base of your neck.

“Mmm, gonna cum-” His raspy voice thickens, becoming easily weary of his nearing climax. You could feel the way his throbbing cock pulses in the depths of you, as yourself had been efforting the same pulse around his meaty cock.

“Oh God-” You head falls back, arms catching yourself onto his neck to make sure you remain unscathed. Your legs wrapped around his waist, sucking his girth into yourself to your limit. His large banded arms coil around your smaller frame, pulling your body flushed against his. A few gruff and loud moans here to there, shared between the two of you. Soon, you’d felt the rushing wave of pure ecstasy coarse through your frame. His sweaty form drops onto the length of you, heavy pants exile his chest from the intense session. You glance down, seeing the blonde and greasy locks blocking his features.

“Jimin!?”

Your body jolts itself awake, propping up like a doll with a metal pole as its spine. Your chest heaves with heaviness and anxiety as shock flushes your system from its previous ecstatic state. You find your hand slunk down into the space of your mini shorts, fingers pressed against your aching bud. Memories from the day’s events had coarse your mind like a taunting, awaiting jack-in-the-box.

He pushes your body away from his own, hands releasing the tight grip you’d formed around his hardened length. Your frame falls backwards, catching itself right before impact. He stands, a furious aura surrounds his whole once bright and soft figure.

“Good-bye, Y/n.”

You groan, rolling over to reach for the pillow, suffocating yourself with the plush object. You head spins with uncertainty. You felt like shit.

Your feet land on the floor, guiding you unconsciously to the self-indulgent kitchen you’d stocked. The darkness that floods your apartment had been good for keeping to yourself, not having to worry about anything else you had to get done, until you wake up for work in a few hours.

“Morning.” A sudden voice becks out from the silence. You’re quick to land your grip on a steak knife from the counter, waving it blindly in the abyss for protection. His chuckle makes your heaty drop into your stomach.

“Put that away before you hurt yourself, wifey.” You groan, tossing the sharp object into the sink, reaching out to find the light switch. His cocky smile makes your teeth grind with frustration.

“How the hell did you get into my apartment?” You scoff, watching as he points his index finger to the wide open door.

“You left it unlocked.” Your arms cross, a narrowing look paints your tired and gaunt features. His wide and torturous smile makes your stomach bubble.

“Enjoy your sleep?” He questions, reaching over to put the bowl of cereal he’d made himself into the left side of your sink.

“Did, until you came.” He chuckles, stalking your figure before he’s standing right infront of you. “Really? Cause it looked like you were wide awake before I even got here.” Scoffing, you push at his chest making him stumble back a bit to catch himself.

“Go home, Jimin.” You make your way to the fridge to place the milk back on the shelf. He follows, hoping up onto your counter like a kid.

“Don’t wanna.” You huff, slamming the cabinet.

“Go. Home.” You repeat, already tired of his shinannigains. He leans closer, meeting your gaze.

“I. Don’t. Want. To.”

“Wasn’t. A. Question.” You retort, making him smirk.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” Your eyes lull to the back of your head at his shameless attempt.

“And you’d be really cute with this knife shoved in your thick head.” He laughs, raising an eyebrow up in questioning.

“So you think I’m cute?”

You scoff, eyes rolling. “Not in the slightest.” He hums, tilting his head before following you into your room.

“But you said really, which means that I was just cute before. So therefore, you think I’m cute.” You plop down on your bed, body feeling extremely heavy from your sleep-deprived state.

“Not listening, I’m sleeping.” He chuckles, scooting his way over to your side of the bed to lay next to you. His arm rests under his head for support.

A few moments of silence flows by before he continues. “Didn’t know you were such a daredevil.” You sit up, giving him a stern look.

“I’m not.”

He chuckles, shrugging. “Really? Cause letting a stranger finger you while you’re on a date sure sounds like something a daredevil would do.” Your eyes roll, pushing his frame away with the soles of your feet.

“Get out of here, Jimin. Why did you even come in the first place?” He smirks, walking around to the side of your bed, kneeling in front of your pillow cover face that’d been hanging off your bed’s edge.

“Why, I heard my name of course.” Your eyebrow quirks at his words. “Oh yeah? Who called you.”

A devilish grin toys the corner of his lips. He lowers his voice to a deep tone, much like the one you’d heard earlier in your little escapade-like dream.

“You did.” You let out a sharp chuckle. “Me?” He nods, making the fits of laughters wash in waves even more. Once you’ve settled down, you can clear the air.

“Hate to break it to ya loverboy, but I was sleeping if you couldn’t already tell.”

He lowers himself to meet your level once more. Hands slid into the fronts of his jean pockets, blonde locks falling to the sides of his face to frame his features perfectly.

“I’m aware.”

Your eyes narrow, not following in his little innuendos. He reads your expression, and decided to elaborate some more.

“Well, these were more along the lines of ‘Jimin’.” He mocks a woman high-pitched moan, head thrown back to add a dramatically erotic effect.

“Yeah right, like I did anything like tha-”

“Oh Jimin! Oh fuck ah- Mmm, gonna cum!..” Your eyes widen like saucers at the little sounds. Eyes training upon the little cellphone held in his hands, showing you the recorded melody. His smirk never faulters from amusement of you.

“You were saying?”

Your body froze. That had for sure been your voice. Hell, it even showed a sliver of your bedroom for a second. You had been sprawled out on your bed, covers thrown off as your hand had been stuffed into the lining of your underwear. Thighs trembling to signal your nearing climax.

You. Were. Mortified.

“I- Well that- My dog-” The longer you’d tried to come up with an excuse, the stupider you sounded. He chuckles, tilting his head back while holding his stomach.

“Your dog?” His eyes well into little crescent shaped moons, irises disappearing from sight.

“The only bitch in heat my dear, is you.” You groan, reminding yourself later to go jump off Seoul’s largest bridge.

“I called out your name,” He starts, sitting on the edge of the bed to slide his phone back into his pocket. He chuckles, remembering your sleep-induced reaction.

“But you just got louder.” You grab the nearest pillow and start suffocating yourself. He laughs, prying the beautiful death away from your grasp.

“Hey, you saw my porn collection.” He teases, poking at your side to try and get you to laugh this off like friends would.

“Yeah, but it’s not me!” His body stiffens at the words. Lowering his tone, he mumbles.

“It might.”

You sigh, wanting the earth to swallow you whole. You take the pillow from his grip, digging your face into the soft plush once more. “Just let me die.” He smiles, tugging the pillow from you once more.

“Nah, I’m not into that necrophilia shit.” You huff, pulling your knees up to hide your face in. He leans closer, brushing a few strands of hair from your vision.

“Guess this means we’re even now, huh?” You chuckle along with him, cheeks still burning with embarrassment.

“Was quite a unique sight.” He sighs, taking the pillow to tuck it under his clasped arms. Leaning back, he supports his weight against your headboard while continuing.

“Never seen a girl masturbate to me.” You scoff, not believing that for a damn second. “Yeah right.” His torso twists to face you, giggling.

“It’s true.”

“No girlfriend?”

He shakes his head. “They just wanted sex. Nothing else.” You shift, not really knowing what to respond to that.

“They also thought I was weird..” Your head cranes, tilting to listen better. “Why?”

His hands fidget between the thick of his thighs, shrugging. “I liked taking photos.” You smile, laughing.

“Everybody does. Photography’s a very popular hobby nowadays-”

“Of them.”

“Well yeah, you like to remember the fun times you had with loved ones-”

“Naked.”

Yeah, you had no counter for that one.

He chuckles, a tint of red flushes his cheeks. “See? You think it’s weird too.” Your head hesitantly shakes, denying it.

“No- It’s just- I wasn’t expecting it.” He sighs, leaning his head back against your headboard. “I just think that women’s bodies are exquisite.” You chuckle, nudging his arm.

“Large word for a small guy.” His eyes flash towards yours, suddenly not so bright eyed and puppy-like.

“Think I’m small?”

You nod. “You’re not that big of a guy. Taehyung’s much larger-” He’s quiet to flip you on your stomach, sitting atop your lower back while holding your arm behind yourself.

“Can still do this, though.” He smirks.

“Yah! Get off me!” He chuckles, leaning down to brush the pads of his lips to your skin, ghosting your heated body.

“No.”

“Yaaaah Jimin, my baaack!” You groan, muffling your noises into the pillow below you. A smile creeps his lips, before he’s rising off from you. You groan, sitting up to speak.

“Yah, that really hurt du- Jimin?” As quick as he’d left, he’s right back at the end of your bed, This time, sporting an old polaroid in his right hand. Your eyebrows raise in confusion.

“What’s that for?” He smirks, edging himself closer to you on the bed. His proximity makes you fall back onto the bed as he towers your frame, camera still firmly held in his hands.

“Mind being my model?” You laugh, hands pressing at his chest as he leans back to sit atop your lap.

“For?”

His eyes glance up, taking a peak from filling his camera with film. His blonde locks fall loosely infront of his vision, making the scene so much more intense.

“Me.”

“Well of course you, idiot.” He smiles, wiping the camera lens with the thin of his black T-shirt, lifting the material up to give you a little peak of his softly defined abs.

“I don’t need you jacking off to them.” He quirks, taking a glance to look back up to you. “You jacked off to me.” Your mouth falls to answer, but then shuts. He smirks, taking your silence as a win.

“Just lift your top a bit.” He teases, holding the camera up to his face, peaking out the little lens. You laugh, bucking your hips up to try and nudge him off of your small frame.

“Oh come on, Y/n. I feel violated.” He pouts, lip-quivering in a fake pained expression.

“What? How so.” He whines, shifting on your lap like a little kid.

“You violated my privacy. Barged into my apartment, and went through my laptop. Sexual harassment at it’s finest.” You scoff, eyes rolling at his stupid reasoning.

“Your laptop was already on. And I’ve never sexually harassed you. If anything, that shit you pulled at the dinner table was sexual harassment.” He smiles, using his free finger to tilt your head to the side, getting a better angle.

“Part your lips.”

“Jimin I’m not doing this.”

“Open your mouth or I’m gonna tie you to this bed and slip a vibrator into your panties. And take pictures of that instead.” Your eyes widen at his choice of words, suddenly feeling the room heat from his proximate figure sat atop you.

He smirks, moving a few strands from your vision, while positioning your hair a bit to get a nice shot. Your mouth had opened slightly from shock, which he took as a chance to snap a little picture.

“Got it.” He smiles, hiding the little sheet of film under the nearest pillow.

“I’m pretty sure this is sexual harassment.”

He chuckles, reloading for another shot. “Not harassment if you’re enjoying it.”

“Now who made up that rule?” A devilish smile crack his straightened lips.

“I did.”

He reaches down, flashing you to the little polaroid picture from a few seconds ago.

“Wow..” You gawk, admiring the beautiful position he’d moved you to. Pieces of your messy hair falls into your forehead, framing your face perfectly. The lack of light plus his flash had made this simple photo look like a work of art.

“Natural beauty.” He picks up the camera once more, pulling the picture away to get another shot.

“Okay you’ve had your fu-”

“I think you’d look better tied up.” He giggles, scooting off of your body to sit on the side. He stands, walking to your closet to rummage through your things.

“Hey, I didn’t give you-”

“Perfect!” He holds out a silky tie that you’d forgotten to give back to your ex. The silky red material dangles loosely in his grip as he makes his way over to set himself next to your laid out figure.

“Hands?”

Your arms reach out, giving full access to whatever he wanted of you. The motion makes him smile, patting your head.

“Good girl.”

“Jimin it’s almost morning-” His eyes glance towards you, previously focused on binding your hands together. “So?”

“So- I need you to let me up.” He chuckles, motioning down to your figure.

“I’m not holding you down.”

He’s right. You’d been giving him permission to do all of this. You were the one who didn’t want it to secretly end.

He reaches up, loosely tying your hands above your head to bind them to your grid headboard. He picks up his camera from off the side once more, holding it up to his face to angle it down your way.

“Smile for me.” You shake your head, not being in the mood.

“Smile.”

He reaches down, tickling at your side torturously. Your head throws back, mouth popping wide open at the giddy sensation. One flash of his camera later, he throws the little old device to the side.

“You’ve got an adorable smile.” He coos, hovering over your locked in figure. A rosy tint paints your cheeks.

“Thanks..”

His lips lower, bushing the soft skin of your forehead before dragging the back down a bit, mumbling something sweet.

“Mine.”

The smell of freshly baked bread waffs through your apartment. Your counters had been filled with sweet and gooey treats. Your whole upperhalf had been dusted heavily with flour and egg whites. Though it had taken almost 5 hours, you’d finally baked all of the necessary goodies you needed.

You walk yourself through all of the desserts, making sure you hadn’t missed a single thing. “Pudding, cherry pie, hotteoks, creme brulee..” You sigh in satisfaction, admiring all of your hard work.

You glance down, seeing your messy and caked in self. A chuckle exiles past your lips. Making your way to the bathroom, you’d just taken off your sweater before hearing the doorbell sound off.

Walking over, you try fixing your hair best as you could before opening the door.

“Welcome.” You swing the door wide, allowing the man to enter.

“Thank you.” He takes in a deep breath, sighing at the delectable aroma. You take his coat, hanging it on the rack before leading him to the dining table.

“Smells amazing.” You smile, silently patting yourself on the back for his commentary.

“This way. I- Didn’t know what you preferred, so I just made all of them..?” He chuckles, making his way through your living room to sit upon the balcony’s patio. You’re quick to bring the treats out, only taking two round trips before settling yourself in the seat across from him. His dark button up, and white, creamish dress pants had made him look even more elegant than ever.

“So, how's the progress going?” He questions, as you sigh in relief.

‘It’s going great. The product’s development is really coming along. I could even move the release date up a month.” He smiles, watching as your delicate hands cut a few slices of the pie for the two of you. His large hand comes to cover yours, stopping your motions gently.

“Y/n.. You didn’t have to make all of this. I would’ve been fine with cough drops for all I care.” You giggle, shaking your head.

“You’ve been a huge stepping stone in getting my stuff out there… I owe you.” He smiles, his face coming to close the distance between the two of you. His breath mixes with your own, a different kind of feeling settles over the scene.

His voice lowers, but a bare whisper. “Y/n..”

A brightly lit flash of light separates the two of you quickly. “Annnddd, got it. See Y/n? Told you you’re photogenic.” Jimin’s face scrunches at the picture. “Mmm, you bro? Not so much.”

“Jimin!” You gripe, standing to push him out of your apartment.

“What? Just trying to capture nature’s beauties.” He leans to the side, sending your co-worker a narrowed glance. “And.. uglies.”

“Jimin, I’m in the middle of something!” Your voice lowered so he couldn’t hear. A deep chuckle exiles his chest. A hand places itself upon your shoulder, making Jimin’s fist clench in silent anger. The man’s hand extends outwards, offering Jimin a passive shake.

“I’m Namjoon.” Jimin smirks, taking his hand in a firm shake.

“Nice to meet you.” You sigh, rubbing your temples from frustration.

“Jimin could you please just leave? I’ve got to discuss some things with Namjoon.” Jimin huffs silently, quirking his eyebrows.

“Nah, Think I’ll stay.” He plops onto your couch, crossing one leg over the other in a relaxed position. You were about to protest but a beep cuts you off.

“Ah, sorry Y/n. It’s Eleana, I’ve gotta get going.” He’s quick to make his way to the door, grabbing his trench coat from the rack. He throws it over his figure.

“Wait- Who’s Eleana?” You call out, making your way over to his spot. He fixes the collar of his button up, tightening his tie.

“She’s with High Lines. She’s our rep, but the bidders aren’t biting so she’s calling me in to sweet talk ‘em.” He calls out, making his way quickly down the hallway before turning around.

“Thanks for the pie!”

You wave, smiling brightly as he leaves. Once he’s completely out of sight, you slam the door, huffing from frustration.

“Jeez, Y/n. So desperate.” He teases, taking a bite from the apple displayed in the bowl set on your counter. You turn around, ears -would be- steaming from anger.

“I am NOT desperate!” He leans back from your volume, covering his ears to shield them from your anger.

“I was trying to have a nice dinner with a coworker-”

“Who you wanna fuck.”

“And eat some pie with him-”

“Who you wanna fuck.”

“And then a stupid photography student had to barge in and ruin my damn day!”

He smirks, dragging out his words. “Who you want to fuck.”

Your fists clench at your sides, face reddening from fury. You reach over for the throw pillow, putting its name to good use. He’s quick to dodge, laughing at your sad attempt.

“And what’s with you, huh!? One minute you’re completely avoiding me and the next you’re trying to take nude photos of me?!” He goes silent, slowly reaching forwards to take a bite of one of the hotteok you'd made.

“Been deciding.” He comments, licking his thumb clean of the chocolate.

“On what.” You gripe, going to clean up the kitchen in anger. He hops off the counter, placing himself behind, gently slowly moving your movements to a halt before he has his hands on each side of your hips. His front gently presses against your back, his warm breath coming to creep up behind your ear like a little kid on halloween.

“On you.”

You turn to turn around to face him, but his hands steady your hips preventing you. Your head lulls back, originally trying to talk to him but he’d taken the opportunity to press wet kisses to the side of your neck. Your lips part, a soft moan escapes into the thin air. His hands follow the lines of your body, reaching forwards to cup your breasts.

“You smell like cookies.” He whispers, making you laugh.

“Gee, I wonder why?” He chuckles, twisting your body around to press flush against his. You two had been in the most intimate embrace of a lifetime. Your arms coiled around his neck, his hands settled back to steady your hips. His forehead nudges closer, pressing against your to tease your lips with his breath.

Your voice softens, “That tickles..” He smiles, back the two of you into the counter. “Mmm, ticklish?” He wraps his arms around your thighs, lifting you up in one swoop to set you down on the counter. He plants himself between your widened legs, hands resting on the small of your waist.

“Have you no memory of last night?” His head tilts, faking a confused expression. “Mmmm, remind me.” You laugh, going to unwrap your arms from his but he’s swift to scoop you up bridal style.

“Or, shall I remind you.”

Your pushed back into the soft plush of your bedsheets. The cream colored fabrics jumping in alignment with your bounce when pressure is applied. His body stalks yours, leaning over you like a falling Jenga tower.

"Jimin are we-" His finger comes to press against your lips, quieting your rambling mouth.

"Tell me right now that you don't want to fuck me. If you don't, then shut the fuck up kindly, wifey."

Your arms fall to your sides. You were going to protest, push him off of you and kick him out of your apartment never to be seen again but-

You did want him to stay.

Your head nods softly, earning him a small grin. His hands snake up your body, lips pressing against you neck in a slowed and hushed manor. Fingertips graze the hem of your cropped tee. His chest releases a lowered grunt, slipping the thin fabric over your head before throwing it somewhere across the room.

His fingers trail along the lace of your brassiere. A smile paints his lower face at the sight. "Pretty." Suddenly, his expression switches. From loving and soft, to demanding and hard.

"Were you planning on fucking that Nam-shoe guy?" You chuckle at his insult, hands cupping both sides of his cheeks.

"Honestly? A little." His hands grip onto the lace fabric, ripping the expensive-looking material from your warmed body.

You let out a short yelp, hands flying to cover yourself. He groans, pulling your hands away.

"Don't you fucking even try, baby." He smirks, leaning his head down to your level. His soft breaths roll across the skin of your cheek, landing on your ears. "Wearing these tight ass jeans, and a shirt that wouldn't even fit a fucking baby doll? You're just asking for it."

You nod, flashing him some cute pleading eyes. "I am asking." He lets out a dark chuckle, hands coming to pinch lightly at your exposed nipples. Your head lulls back, groaning at the sudden touch.

"I don't need asking. I want you begging."

Hands gripping the bottom of your thighs, he pulls your your body down until the hardened outline of his jeans had been pressed firmly against your aching core.

his arms lock into place, trapping you in his grip.

"What do you say?"

Your throat feels dry. However, your panties had become more than soaked through. You shouldn't do this. You really shouldn't. You'd already fucked up with Taehyung, and now with Namjoon? This man has caused you nothing but trouble.

Yet, you still couldn't help the words that seemingly fall from your lips so easily.

"Please."

________________________

PART TWO WILL BE RELEASED ASAP.

#park jimin #jimin x y/n #jimin x oc #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin yandere #bts yandere #jimin smut #Jimin slow burn?#bts #bts masterlist #bts fics #pjm #bts smut

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chroniclesofbts · 4 months

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Break my Walls P. 1

Genre: A/B/O, Poly BTS and Reader

Warnings: none for this chapter, eventual smut, slow burn, angst, fluff

“Get up Omega, Alpha Dae wants the whole pack preparing for the Choi packs arrival” Beta San said, throwing my covers on the ground.

“And what is the rule about making a nest?” He questioned.

“It’s not a-” I cut myself off, “nests are a waste of time and resources that Alphas need.”

“At least you can remember the rules, get dressed and get downstairs” he barked walking out of the room.

I pick up the sheets off the ground and flatten them on the bed. I move the pillows back to the head of the bed. I must have moved them in my sleep again. I sighed, heading to the chest at the end of the bed and pulled out my only pair of jeans and a T-shirt left by one of the older Omegas. Pulling my hair back into a pony tail, I begin to climb down the ladder from the attic where the omegas sleep.

Omegas in the Kang pack are at the bottom of the totem pole, just like in every other pack. We are taught to stay out of sight unless called upon and obey orders. Omegas are good for pleasure and pups. Next month, I step into that role, replacing an omega who forgot her place, at least that’s what Pack Alpha Dae said.

“Y/N! Come quick, before Alpha Dae sees that you’re late” Sunhee whispered, motioning to the spot beside her. Sunhee was another Omega in my pack, she has been Alpha Dae’s personal Omega for 3 years now. The longest any Omega has lasted. She works hard, always showing off Alpha Dae’s marks. She’s already proven herself useful to the pack, having a little boy last summer. He looks just like Alpha Dae, everyone knows he will be an Alpha. After all, Sunhee is still here.

“Omegas! I want tonight’s dinner to be perfect! We have just received word that two more packs will be joining us. Both Lee and Kim will arrive at 5 P.M. so I expect this house spotless and food ready by then” Alpha Dae announced before going to his chambers, signaling Sunhee to follow.

“Alpha Dae muse be stressed to pull Sunhee to his chambers immediately” Hana whispered to me before grabbing the cleaning supplies and leaving.

“Y/N, you are in charge of dessert. We always get such positive reviews from our guests when you make them. The rest of you, same jobs as usual” Hei-Ran, our pack omega stated. All Omegas immediately got to work, preparing for three packs to arrive by the end of the day.

*4:30 P.M.*

Pulling the last pie from the oven, I set it on the counter with the rest of the desserts. I prayed that I made enough, or else Alpha Dae would see that I was punished. Our pack has 150 people, 100 Alphas, 30 Betas, and 20 Omegas. The Choi pack is similar in numbers, with more 120 Alphas, 10 Betas, and 20 Omegas. The Omegas and the Betas don’t eat what the Alphas eat usually, but with the news of the Lee and Kim pack joining, Alpha Dae has made a room for the Betas and a room for the Omegas to dine. The Lee pack is the second most sought after pack, with only nine people, they don’t accept new members frequently. The last Alpha that joined their all Alpha pack was six years ago. The Kim Pack is the top sought after pack, and quite the mystery. All that’s known of them is that they were in a different pack and left together. There’s seven people, no one knows what their sub gender is, just that they are all men. They all wear scent blockers and make decisions together, leading most to believe they are all Alphas. They don’t take in new members and rarely come out to meet with other packs.

“Please tell me the desserts are done, Y/N” Sunhee said, walking into the kitchen. She had a few new bruises and reeked of Alpha Dae. “The Kim pack just arrived, and Alpha Dae is panicking. You’d think he was being attacked” she continued, looking at all of the desserts on the counters.

“Don’t touch them, they are still hot. Also, this section goes to the Alpha’s table. These are the Omega desserts” I pointed, while cleaning up.

Voices drifted down the hall, Alpha Dae giving a tour to the Kim Pack. The rumors were true, the only scent I could pick up was Alpha Dae’s.

“And this is the kitchen!” Alpha Dae exclaimed. I immediately dropped my eyes to the floor, giving a small bow to the pack.

“Our Omegas worked hard to prepare today’s meal, our desserts are well known by the pack too. You all chose a great day to visit.”

“Thank you for having us on such short notice, The Choi pack has asked for our input on today’s meeting.” The voice was strong and confident, clearly their pack Alpha.

“The desserts smell wonderful, I am sure they will taste just as good” an angelic voice spoke, their compliment causing heat to creep up my neck.

“Let’s continue on with the tour” Alpha Dae said, as footsteps left the kitchen.

“You should follow your pack, Sir. Our Alpha doesn’t take kindly to his Omegas being in the presence of other packs.” Sunhee spoke lowly, trying to keep our pack Alpha from hearing. This cause me to look up to see who she was speaking to. There in the doorway to the kitchen, stood the most beautiful man I have ever seen. It’s unfair how good looking he was. His hair was dark, and longer than any of our pack members were allowed to wear it. His lips were plump, pulled into a small grin. He was tall and had broad shoulders, barely fitting in the frame of the door. And his eyes, they were locked right on me. I immediately looked away and began portioning the desserts. Uncomfortable with receiving anyone’s attention.

“Your Alpha sure does like to mark what’s his, doesn’t he?” The man addressed Sunhee.

“And yours must not be worried about another Alpha trying to take what’s his” Sunhee shot back, causing the man to chuckle.

“Oh we all like to leave our marks on one another, our marks just would never be left with such carelessness. We like our marks to show our love, not stake a claim” he replied.

“Sunhee! Show the Kim pack their rooms!” Alpha Dae demanded from upstairs, ignorant that he was missing one of the pack members. Sunhee rushed upstairs, leaving me alone with the strange man.

“You made all of these?” He asked me, coming closer to see the variety of desserts I was placing on trays.

“Yes sir” I responded, trying to focus on placing the desserts perfectly, with my shaking hands. Having this man standing so close made you nervous, and not just because of his beauty.

“Is there anything I can help you with, sir?” You ask, certain that was the only reason he was still in the kitchen. Maybe he was hungry, his pack did travel a long way to reach yours.

“I do not need anything, just the conversation of a pretty girl” he replied smoothly, confusing you. His pack wasn’t know to go out of their way to have conversations with anyone. What exactly did he want from you.

“Well, Sunhee should return any moment” you say, moving into the Omega trays.

“Those are Omega specific desserts, aren’t they.”he states more than questions.

“They are, how did you know that?” You paused, glancing at him.

“Jin hyung! There you are, come, we have to change before dinner begins.” A different man stated as he bounced into the kitchen. His hair was similar length as Jin’s was and he was the same height. His lips formed a heart when he smiled, he was full of energy.

“I am coming Hobi, was just admiring the work of this Omega” Jin replied, pushing him out of the door. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Oh, and Omega? I wasn’t speaking of Sunhee earlier” he winked, before disappearing from view. I felt my face heat up from his words. What a strange man, he must not have really looked at Sunhee. Or maybe it was because she still held Alpha Dae’s scent.

Lost in my thoughts as I went back to the attic to change, I failed to look where I was going, running straight into someone’s chest.

“Woah, sorry Omega, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The voice said, grabbing ahold of my shoulders to steady me. “My names Namjoon, you were one of the Omegas in the kitchen. Your desserts smelled amazing. Jin said how you had desserts dedicated to Omegas. He was very impressed with your knowledge and variety of desserts.”

“Oh, it’s not often I get to make omega desserts, I had to make as many as I could for my packs omegas to experience” I rambled, freezing when I realized what I had said to a member of another pack. I looked up in alarm, waiting for the punishment of disrespecting my pack’s alphas, only to be met with a look of confusion.

“Why would-” He began, only to be interrupted my one of my alphas.

“Omega, clothes, now!” He barked, forcing my limbs to move, even if I didn’t want to. Leaving Namjoon standing in the hallway confused, as he watches me follow a command.

#kim seokjin #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #min yoongi #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #park jimin #bts ot7 #a/b/o dynamics #x reader #eventual smut #slow burn

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ahgasegotarmy116 · 7 days

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Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Series Masterlist

Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Status: Ongoing Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out but it's gonna take me a while to get new chapters out since I'm gonna make them like twice as long as my usual ones but I hope you'll come to love this story as much as I do 🤭

Feel free to send drabble requests and asks as the story progresses

>Part 1 >Part...

Extra Content: Not written in chronological order with the storyline and will be updated as soon as I answer them (not all asks will be added to the list but you can find the rest under #faking it ask)

Asks: Ask 1

Character Asks: JK 1

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 5 months

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Don't Get Attached | Masterlist

➪ Pairing: ex-boyfriend jungkook x y/n

➪ Synopsis: Entangled in Jungkook’s lies the so-called love you share is nothing but toxic. Every push is followed by a needy pull, but it’s not all his fault, is it? Naive to the signs, your desires fuel this cycle of destruction. What if the person you want the most is the one you’ll be better without? Baby, there’s no breaking up, he whispers in your ear, as his grip on your waist tightens.

➪ Genre: toxic relationship, cheating, attachment issues, possessiveness, angst, smut

➪ Warning: 18+

➪ W/c: 6.8k

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

Part 1: Sex, sex, sex

Part 2: No Strings Attached

Part 3: I Can Beg For You

Part 4: Do You Miss This?

Part 5: Remind Me Why We're Taking a Break

Drabbles Masterlist (unhinged headcanons)

➪ "Y/n, how can you do this to me while sleeping?"

➪ "Please y/n, I've been so good,"

➪ "I'd rip anything off you,"

➪ "Every inch of her is mine,"

➪ "We're still on a break, got it?"

➪ "I don't do that sharing shit,"

➪ "Her first time, huh?"

➪ "Closer to you is all I want to be,"

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yoongsisbae · 1 year

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Run Run Run - Seoul Close (Part 5)

A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. OT7 BTS Zombie Apocalypse AU / BTS member x reader slow burn

WELL I'M NOT DEAD. MY CHARACTERS ON THE OTHER HAND...JUST KIDDING. LET ME COPE WITH HUMOR.

Warnings: death, monsters, blood, fighting, killing, gory details, some toxic nationalism, mention of SA-nothing graphic, angst, smut, handjob, fingering, bathtime shenanigans

Word Count: 21.5k (I actually got block limited for the first time on this chapter. I hope the long chapter makes up for the wait!)

---

Run.

Keep your back straight, your shoulders relaxed, move your arms, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and most importantly, don’t trip!

AND RUN!!!

You look back. You expected to see a lot of them, but not this much...

‘It’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay,’ you repeat desperately, as long as you keep running!

No time to scream or even cry, you need that energy…

To run!

You hear the labored breaths of the men around you, such a stark contrast from the horrifying growls of the undead behind you, a group of zombies you all had accidently awakened from their mindless ambling.

But there is quite a distance, fortunately. And if you just keep ru-

“Ow,” you grunt. You collided into a back, knocking the wind out of you.

“Wh-” You are silenced at the sight in front of you. There is a hoard of zombies and fresh corpses, the monsters are crouched over the bodies, pulling apart and devouring what remains.

You all stare at the gruesome sight. No words are needed and you are too winded to form proper sentences anyways, so you push the closest person to your left into the grass, which so happened to be BTS leader, Kim Namjoon.

You keep pushing him until he takes the hint. He yanks on who he can reach too, giving silent orders. ‘RUN THIS WAY!’

If you’re lucky, you can create enough distance between you and the monsters behind you that have already caught a scent of your blood before the preoccupied ones begin to notice you. And if you were really lucky, the former might just give up once they smelled the scraps of someone else’s meal.

Too bad luck is rarely on your side.

The feasting zombies smell a new meal instantly.

Dammit!

Keep running!

Run for cover, run into the woods, run as far as you can away from them.

Hongcheon is a fraction of the size of Seoul and yet there are already so many more of them than you had expected.

So many lives gone. So many families torn apart, hearts broken, young lives cut short…

A city destroyed.

You don’t have time to cry over it now. Maybe later, when you’re safe, you can think of the children you saw, thirsty for blood, eyes sunken in, tiny bodies brutalized into monstrosities. Later you can agonize over their stolen youth, wonder where their parents are, if they remained a family, feasting together even in death.

Right now, you have to…

Run.

“Run over there!”

It hurts to move, to breathe. Your head hurts, your chest hurts, you’re terrified, worried sick, barely able to think, running on adrenaline. Hoseok grabs your hand and pulls you along. It makes you grateful, yet it makes you worry more. He should run ahead of you, you feel like a burden, you feel your heart clench when he squeezes your hand.

You can’t help but think about the others, even now, you should have cherished those moments more, the smiles and laughter and banter and good times. Taehyung’s jokes, Jungkook’s bored singing, an infectious melody that had the others and even you humming along. Hoseok’s animated retelling of the events at Sutasa temple that the leader and eldest two had missed, making you and the others laugh along, the leader’s slightly impressed and very dismayed expressions and Seokjin whining over his sore feet.

How wonderful it was when sore feet were the only thing to complain about.

You should have enjoyed those days leading up to reaching Hongcheon city more. When killing zombies felt like a team building exercise. Remember that? Tallying up your kills. Like it was a game, like it wasn’t the worst thing imaginable you had to do to another person, because they were people at one point...

You look at the scared tired faces of the men around you and think how easy it could be to lose them to the same fate, a tally in a game strangers play not knowing how much love that growling decaying body once held… the jokes they told, the songs they sung, the stories they experienced, the sacrifices they endured…

You should have taken life more seriously, maybe now it wouldn’t feel so abysmal, karma for your blase us vs. them mentality. How stupid, you of all people should know better.

No, it wasn’t you and them, it was you and your future staring back with yellow clouded eyes. You stare back and feel nothing but regret.

And guilt.

And fear.

So you run faster, gulp down hot air, let it burn your lungs and let it sting your belly, because you now know the pain of living is always better than death, always!

You follow the others into the first house you come across where you quickly barricade yourselves in.

One two three four five six…No.

Namjoon pats you on the shoulder. You almost scream in surprise, but you were trained now to only scream into pillows or under water, places it would be hard for them to hear you, not when you actually wanted to.

Seokjin is behind him. Seven, eight.

You all made it. Even Dev. Fuck, you’re actually relieved.

You relax only a little. Everyone looks beyond exhausted. You all need food, you need water. You doubt this small abandoned house has enough of anything for all of you.

There’s black blood on your arms and clothes from where you had to defend yourself from the zombies who came too close. The others have blood on them, and you wished there was more light so you could properly make sure the blood wasn’t theirs.

“Is everyone okay?” you whisper. No one is just ‘okay,’ but they knew what you meant.

They pull at their clothes, checking their bodies. They all nod. You glare at Dev, and then eye Taehyung who nods again. Now that you’re stationary you realize how sweaty you are, how tired. You fall to your knees, finally able to rest.

Namjoon walks cautiously through the house, making sure the coast is clear and there are no residents remaining, alive or otherwise.

As you rest you listen to doors sliding open, Namjoon’s footsteps as he makes his way through the house. The others are quiet, catching their breaths, holding their bodies against doors, coughing quietly, rubbing their muscles, and of course, listening intently to the sounds outside…

The scratching, clawing, growling…

“Clear. Two Beds.” Namjoon returns.

“I’ll check for food.” Yoongi stands up, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“I’ll take first watch,” Namjoon says solemnly.

“Me too,” you add. He doesn’t argue with you, even if he does look like he wants to tell you to rest instead.

“Second.” Jimin and Taehyung say in unison.

It’s safe for now. What will it be like once the sun is high again? Better, worse? How long can you keep this up?

Going through the city might have taken a couple of hours tops in the car, but you didn’t have that now, not even the horses…Those poor horses…

How many days will it take to get out now that you are on foot, you wonder. You can’t even bring yourself to look forward to it either, already imagining how much worse Seoul will be.

You can’t help but think the situation you’ve put yourselves in is looking rather helpless.

You keep your eyes locked on a small divot in the flooring, trying to stay calm. Even if you had the time now, becoming emotional in this moment would be too dangerous. You have to focus and be ready for anything.

“We made it,” Namjoon whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder. You’re impressed with his optimism, you try not to feel worried, but it's for that exact reason you are so worried. You made it this time, but what about next time? What if something happens to him, what if you never hear those words again? Namjoon just might be all the optimism you have left.

You eat cold portions of canned food Yoongi prepares.

You’re not mad at him anymore, almost dying has always had that kind of effect on relationships, but when he hands you your portion you still can’t meet his eyes, thinking of the conversation you had before entering the city.

---

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Huh?” Yoongi looks anywhere but in your direction.

Now you’re feeling even more wary. It took Herculean courage for you to even ask, now he’s going to make you ask again?

“Nevermind.”

You walk away from the rapper, back to tending to your horse while the large animals rest. You couldn’t help but notice the rapper has been rather aloof around you, more than usual, since kissing you. You tried not to take it personally, to not feel hurt every time he seemed to quickly shut down any conversation you start with him, but ugh, why did he go and kiss you then if he was just going to act like this?!

It takes you all morning, right before the group is about to start your travels again, when you confront Yoongi one last time.

“Why did you kiss me?” You mutter, hoping he would respond this time. ‘Just say it was the heat of the moment,’ you think, so you can both move on, get over it. So you can accept it was just a one time thing, a moment of weakness, you would never hold it against Yoongi, but this, the way he’s acting now, you definitely do have a problem with!

Unfortunately, ears whom you hadn’t intended to hear perked up at the new information.

“You kissed y/n?” Hoseok crashes in between the pair of you.

“No, I didn’t!” Yoongi hisses immediately.

“You didn’t?” Hoseok tilts his head.

“He didn’t.” You repeat quietly.

“But you just said-”

“I didn't say that!” you laugh incredulously. “You misheard me. I asked why did he pick me… PICK me, is what I meant.”

“Pick you for what?” Hoseok looks between both of you in disbelief.

“Uhh…” you hesitate, trying to come up with something credible while Yoongi takes the opportunity to scurry away. “Pick me for the um next night shift-”

“He picked you? But you always volunteer,” Hoseok says accusingly.

“Okay, well, this time, I didn’t. And so uh I wanted the night off. Anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore! I don’t care! forget it!” you ramble angrily, making Hoseok back away this time.

Yoongi waits by the car while you glare at him. He’s definitely ignoring you now, like you’re some deranged saesang, and it’s annoying as hell! He kissed you, didn’t he? Yes, you might have kissed him back, and…

You remember the way you melted into him, Yoongi’s body pressed against yours, the way you chased his lips, how you wanted more. You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have…liked it so much…dammit! Why did he kiss you?!

Yoongi answers you the next day. “It was a mistake. I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers to you, bumping into your shoulder.

You wince. “So you kissed me, by accident?” you ask.

“I shouldn’t have done it. I thought you had died, and, I…I don’t know…” Yoongi looks around anxiously, gaze stopping on Seokjin who is animatedly giving reasons why he shouldn’t have to sit in the back of the car this time.

You grind your teeth. This is the answer you wanted, why do you feel so crestfallen? “I understand.”

“You do?”

You look over at Yoongi. “Yes,” you smile wearily. “How do I say this? I get it, you wouldn’t normally have done that under normal circumstances with someone like me, I just wanted to make sure...” you pause. “So you want to forget it? Okay!” you say resolutely, “I’ll pretend it never happened.” You give him a more confident grin.

Your smile falls when you notice his red ears and tinged cheeks. “Yoongi?”

Yoongi looks like he’s holding his breath, holding something in for sure. “That’s not-” Yoongi cautiously lifts his arm up, knuckles touching the side of your face.

“Yoongi?” you repeat, holding your breath.

He almost looks like he might kiss you again, almost…but he turns his heel and walks back to the car, taking a seat in the back and settling an argument between Jin and Taehyung.

You frown, crossing your arms, you guess he is going to expect you to forget that just happened as well, you sigh, frown deepening.

Maybe you are being delusional, he answered your question, you should just leave it at that, you think. You have bigger things to worry about.

You spent days pushing the car, hoping to find an exit to a gas station. All that energy wasted.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Yoongi accuses under his breath.

You have not not been doing anything of the sort! You still acknowledge Yoongi’s presence, just like you do that asshole Dev, yeah.

You frown. “You have been acting weird,” you cross your arms. All day every day you can feel Yoongi’s eyes boring into the back of your head when you talk to the others, and yet he refuses to even look in your direction when you get anywhere near him!

“I have not!”

“Well then I haven’t been ignoring you!”

Yoongi sighs. “Well it's clear to the others something is up between us and that is exactly what I was trying to avoid.”

You narrow your eyes on him. You think you finally understand him, Yoongi was ashamed of kissing you. You want to yell at him, but you can’t…not when you feel something akin to disappointment clawing at your insides, a small voice inside you confirming all your insecurities.

“Why would there be something up? Nothing is up, absolutely nothing,” you frown.

“Stop.”

“I can’t stop because I haven’t started.”

“You are so annoying sometimes.” His hand holds your jaw, thumb rubbing the dirt away from your face tenderly.

You flinch away, “Is that why you didn’t kiss me?”

“Listen, I just don’t want to burden you-”

“Well, I’m very unburdened, can’t you tell? I mean, what could burden me? I have all the food I could want,” you say sarcastically, “I’m not running from monsters that want to eat me alive and I certainly don't care that you did not kiss me!” you hiss.

Yoongi covers your mouth. “Are you guys okay?” Jungkook says hesitantly, walking up to the pair of you.

Yoongi pulls his hands away as if he were burned. You roll your eyes at him, trying to not focus on the sharp pain in your chest, daggers embedding themselves inside you, each one confirming your worst insecurities.

“Everything is great, Kookie,” you say, acting sweeter than your usual self, grabbing the youngest and leading him away before either man notices your watery eyes.

---

“You can rest against me,” Namjoon murmurs, watching as you sway and try to keep your head up as the others sleep.

You laugh softly, “If I do that, I will definitely fall asleep. When I’m close to you, you make me feel safe. And I get sleepy,” you add, yawning. You rest your head on the wall, smiling back when he smiles. “Ahh, see, I can’t look at you,” you shake your head, trying to shake away your tiredness too.

“So you’re not all the way over there because I smell?” Namjoon pulls at your sleeve, trying to coax you closer.

“You smell? Damn, I must smell horrible then.” You sniff your worn and tattered clothes.

“I saw a well outside, we can take advantage of it tomorrow, get some water to clean ourselves up.”

“A bath?” you wonder out loud, unable to hide your excitement. “Finally,” you sigh.

“Well err it’s gonna have to be a cold bath-”

“Mhm. A bath.” You ignore his warning, nothing can change your excitement. Let it be freezing cold, you will happily soak yourself until your fingers shrivel up.

After a while Namjoon speaks up again. “I think maybe we should stay here for a bit. Once the zombies disperse, we can go out for supplies, maybe scout for a better house to crash.”

“Here, in the city? For how long?”

“Maybe,” he hesitates. “A couple weeks? Or…a couple…months?”

“M-Months?!” you gasp, surprised.

“Look at them.” He gestures to the bodies sleeping on the floor around you, none of them wanted to leave the room for the beds, no one wanted to lose sight of each other. “We need to rest, we need supplies…we need to build ourselves back up.”

“Shouldn’t we, um, get out of Hongcheon first?” you ask worriedly. “I feel like…these monsters here are…different. They seem more relentless, don’t you feel?” you groan, thinking aloud. “Why are they so energetic? We’re the live ones! Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” They seem…well fed, you think, grimacing. “You think it’s a good idea to stay?”

“I don’t know.” Namjoon looks around anxiously at his friends, worried for their safety. “I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you whisper, reaching for his hand, you stroke his knuckles soothingly, deciding to follow Namjoon’s plan. “We’ll stay here for a while, and take it day by day. As long as we’re together, that’s what is most important, right?”

Namjoon lets out the breath he was holding, relaxing now that he had your support. In truth, he was too scared to move forward right now. He just needs some time, and Namjoon feels the whole group might do well with some rest too. You have all been in flight mode since first entering Hongcheon. Even you have chosen to forgo fighting, overwhelmed by the hoards of zombies and responsibilities to your friends.

Namjoon shakes Taehyung awake as second shift starts. Jimin rubs his tired eyes, sitting next to you, ready to take your place. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you whisper.

He nods his head to the group cuddled together like sardines, “Go rest, I got it from here.”

You hesitate. It’s becoming harder and harder to sleep. You dreaded the moments where you weren’t awake and alert for danger. Jimin sees your hesitation, he opens up his arms, “Do you want to stay with me until you’re ready to fall asleep?” You nod, relaxing slightly.

Jimin is too good to you, it just makes you worry more, it just adds another dagger full of guilt sticking out from your chest. It all feels so heavy. You sink into Jimin, sorry to him for everything you’ve put him through. He hugs you back so tenderly you want to cry.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

Jimin smiles, enjoying your warmth against him. You cling onto him, cuddled to his side, keeping your head buried into your chest, scared if you look at Jimin you’ll do something you regret, already so desperate to make him happy. But you can’t give into your feelings. You cannot bear to think how frightened you would become then.

---

“Is it true? Is it true? You…you…YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL THAT I’M SCARED.”

The road was abandoned, everything around you was at a standstill since that fateful day, only the trees danced with you, swaying in the wind. You let your bike zig and zag as you hummed one of your favorite songs happily.

There were cars still on the road but the engines had long ago stalled out, the drivers ran away.

It was so quiet. It was calm…peaceful even, serene…

And if there was a noise, it would likely be a member of the undead gurgling for brains. Noise now only served as a warning.

You bike slowly, looking around at the bright landscape in awe. It had been too long since you saw green, trees, grass, flowers...

Stuck in the airport for months you had become used to dirt and tarmac, withered plants in pots and only weeds surviving. But now you realized, lots of things survived. It was so beautiful, mesmerizing.

And you were about to be even more mesmerized.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” you laugh, biking fast before coming to a complete stop. “Y-You’re alive!”

The stranger looks at you, mouth agape.

You kick your bike stand out, running up to him. “Oh! You don’t understand me!” you quickly switch to Korean. “Sorry! Hi, good afternoon! I didn’t mean to frighten you! I’m just– wow– I’m surprised! I haven’t seen another person in...I just...hi!” You resist the urge to hug him, noticing how skittish he already seems, instead bowing ninety degrees. “My name is y/n. Are you okay?”

“You…you speak Korean.”

“You do too, lucky us,” you laugh awkwardly.

He looks around, shuffling from side to side. “Where did you come from, foreigner? Are you alone? Do you have any food?”

Your smile slowly falls. You had gotten too excited, you hadn’t paid attention, hadn’t noticed his dirty clothes hanging off his very thin frame, the shiftiness in his attitude, the strange look in his eyes, he didn’t seem…well.

“N-No, I, uh…I came from the airport.” You look behind you, back in the direction you came from.

It only took a second for you to take your eyes off him, and in that second the man decided to attack.

“Hey!” You stumble backward as he tries to pull off your backpack. “Get off! Stop!”

You were used to zombies attacking you, trying to bite you. If it had been a zombie, you would have yanked out your knife before even thinking, stopped the monster immediately and been on your way.

But a human attacking you? Someone living?

It caught you so off guard you couldn’t react. You fall on the ground trying to get away.

The stranger lunges at your bike instead, still standing abandoned by you. You scramble to your feet, grabbing on to the handle bars as he tries to mount your bike.

You start hitting him with your fist, yanking on the bike in between punches to get it away from him.

‘Is this really happening?!’ you think. You just met and he’s trying to steal your bike?!’

He starts hitting you back, yelling in his weakened efforts. That noise was too similar, and you were bitterly reminded of the airport. You grunt, getting winded from your fighting. Yanking hard on your bike, you maneuver it out of his grasp, only for him to attack you again.

Even in his weakened state, his adrenaline had managed to make him strong and combative. If you’re not careful, you could get seriously injured, probably left for dead, without your bike, without anyone, dying alone and abandoned…

Again?! Fuck this, fuck him!

You put your knife against his throat and he finally stops trying to attack you. You tried to sound threatening when you told him to stop. But the truth was you were terrified, more terrified than you had ever been at the airport. What if he decided to not listen to you? You didn’t think you could go through with it, you couldn’t kill this man.

“Stop! Get away!” you plead, screaming.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so hungry, I’m sorry! I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He bows his head, wailing.

You try to steady your hand, but the knife shakes in your grasp. You’ve stopped fighting each other but you can’t seem to catch your breath.

You roll the bike further away from him, arm still outstretched, pointing the knife at him in warning. Your eyes sting with unshed tears, wanting to cry.

You’re sorry too.

---

You startle, even when Namjoon whispers your name, squeezing your shivering body. “Huh?” You’re lying next to him, you cannot remember when you’ve moved here.

“You were crying in your sleep,” Namjoon says in a concerned hushed voice.

You rub your eyes in your tiredness. It was true, your eyes felt puffy, your cheeks sticky with tears.

You turn your head to look at him, and he looks back at you, concern etched across his brows. Twilight has begun and soon the sun will be up. You sigh, you felt safer in the dark and safest next to Namjoon and the others.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just had a bad dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I was dreaming about my bike,” you laugh half-heartedly.

But Namjoon doesn’t laugh. “We all…have them, the nightmares-”

“I know.”

“So you can talk to me..us about it. You don’t have to always keep everything in. It’s not healthy.”

“Okay Doctor Kim.”

Namjoon sighs. He’s too cute when his brows furrow, his hair sticking up from sleeping, you can’t help but giggle. “The monsters I dream about aren’t the dead kind,” you whisper. “Sometimes, I just-” you sigh, “-feel like running away.”

“Run away from us? I would track you down,” Namjoon says.

You can’t help but smile, closing your eyes. “I won’t, I’d be too worried you’ll get yourselves killed without me.”

He reaches for your cheek, lying his tired arm against you. “I’m scared,” you mumble.

“Why?”

“We’re going to run into more people eventually, what if next time…something horrible happens? Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake. I should have stayed away.” You think back to the first time you encountered him again. “At the time I wanted to hurt you, I wanted revenge, and then…” you mumble, reaching for him in the darkness. “People..are dangerous. You were safer with Kanhgo on the farm.” ‘Maybe everything about this was a mistake, not just Yoongi kissing you,’ you want to tell him.

“I think we met at the right time. You don’t know how it was before, we were all...too close to death, too friendly to the idea, to dying. It was in that house, sitting with us, all the time. Do you understand? You saved m– us.”

You don’t hear what he says next, already falling under sleep, too content next to Namjoon despite the looming danger outside.

Namjoon stares at your closed eyelids and relaxes, scooting closer to your sleeping frame.

---

You wake up out of breath, body shaking. You couldn’t remember your dream, but from your pounding heart rate, your sweat drenched clothes, and the dread you feel lifting away, you suspect it was awful. You jump when arms grab you, pull you in and hug you tightly.

“You’re okay.” You hear Jimin mumble against your shoulder, soft and soothing.

You see Namjoon still asleep next to you. The day is out. It’s only the four of you left asleep, the others already awake and going through the house.

“Go back to sleep,” Jimin murmurs. But you can’t, not with all that adrenaline coursing through you now, so you watch Namjoon’s peaceful sleeping face, so close to you. You start memorizing his frown lines and birthmarks and cuts still healing, calming yourself down.

You make a promise to yourself that when you reach Seoul, when Namjoon finds his family, when you eventually go your separate ways, you’re never going to forget him just like this, your friend and your idol trusting you enough to sleep peacefully while death now stands outside.

---

You raid the town’s fire department in the morning.

No firetruck anymore to your disappointment.

But there was an axe left behind in haste, some canned food, bandages and antiseptic; incredibly valuable finds. You grab as many helmets as you can carry, intent on sticking them on a few members’ heads.

“Hobi!” you call out, “Come here!” Hoseok finds you and lets you dress him up in your newly acquired gear.

It is just as you suspected, you sigh, head in your palms as you watch Hoseok clog around in heavy boots, rolling up the jacket sleeves.

Hoseok would make the. hottest. firefighter.

Man, you wish selfies were still a thing.

“What are you guys doing?

You drop a helmet onto Taehyung’s head. “Nothing,” you smile.

“Alright, enough playing around.” Namjoon says, coming back with a full backpack. You pout, pulling off the huge firefighter jacket you found and offering it to Namjoon, hopeful. He eyes the jacket. “C’mon, it’s definitely your size!”

“Firefighters your thing, eh?” Seokjin rounds a corner. He looks so dashing decked out in uniform.

“...Maybe.” you tease.

“Help!” That’s Jungkook’s voice.

He’s stuck in a corner, fighting off two of the largest zombies you’ve ever seen.

These particular zombies, not only look massive and strong, they are also wearing helmets, protecting their most vulnerable spot, and the exact area you need to access to stop their attack.

How the hell are you going to kill them?!

The axe! Namjoon swings it into one of the zombie’s shoulders, completely dislocating the entire arm, while Jungkook keeps his bat lodged in the zombies’ mouths.

Namjoon brings the axe down again and again, as if he were hacking at a tree. You grimace, you definitely could not use what came off as firewood. “This is so gross.” You look down at what remains, two heads still animatedly trying to bite your shins.

“Sorry,” you wince, stabbing the heads through the eye quickly.

As you sneak your way back to the house, Taehyung decides to ask you, “Why do you always do that?”

You massage your neck, “Do what?”

“Say you’re sorry. You always do it.”

You smile sadly. “Because I am sorry. It’s not their fault, you know. I am sure a man like that always wanted to help people, not eat them.”

‘Man,’ Taehyung certainly did not consider what that firefighter was reduced to, to be anything close to man. “Well I don’t think they understand you.”

“Hey! My Korean is not that bad!”

Taehyung bumps your shoulder, “You know what I mean!” he laughs.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you sigh. “Their ears are still there, why wouldn’t they understand? Do you think they aren’t in there anymore?”

“I hope not.” Taehyung shudders.

“I guess we’ll never know until we become one…” you hum.

“Kill me before then.” Taehyung mutters.

You offer him your hand, “Deal.”

“If I become a zombie, put a muzzle on me and keep me as a pet.” Seokjin drapes his arms over you and Taehyung.

“Deal!”

“No way!”

“What about you, y/n?”

“If I become a zombie?” You catch Namjoon staring at you. “I don’t know,” you think back to the airport. “I like to think I would be able to you know, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think I could kill myself…” you shrug. “But if I try to eat you, you do have my permission to-” you swing your arm back and forth, aiming for Seokjin’s head, laughing when he yells at you.

---

“What if we go this way? Closer to the river? That might be safer?”

“What about the school?”

“No, that’s usually where the town would find shelter. If just one of them was bitten…I think we should avoid this whole area.”

“What’s this word?” you point to the character on the small map. You, Namjoon, and Yoongi are looking over the withered piece of paper, trying to find the best place to find shelter before night.

“That’s like a, ‘Government Building.’” Namjoon answers in English. “A town hall.”

“What about that church?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea either.”

“What about this street, with all the stores? We could find a place to stay there. Close to supplies? And close to water!”

“Look! Military base.” Yoongi points to the map.

“That’s so far.”

“Tire shop? We could find a running car?”

“Y/n, can we talk?”

“Jimin, just wait,” Namjoon answers for you, stepping closer to you as you study the map.

You rub your temples. Your head hurts trying to decipher the map, speaking Korean rather than reading it has always been easier for you. “Wherever you want to go, I’ll go.” you massage Namjoon’s shoulder, stepping away. You switch positions with Jin as you make your way to Jimin.

“Where’s Jungkook and Tae?”

“Working on the well.”

“Should we go watch them? Stand guard?”

Jimin pulls you back, “They got it, we already made sure it’s safe.”

“Oh, alright,” you tilt your head at him, he’s acting a bit impatient. “Are you okay?”

“I just…you’re always– it’s hard to get your attention,” Jimin swallows.

“What? Well, I’m here now,” you say softly, running your hand down Jimin’s arm until you reach his hand, squeezing it with your own.

Jimin squeezes your hand back. “Come with me,” he says more confidently. Jimin leads you back into the house, inside a bedroom, and then inside…the closet? You stumble into boxes full of someone else’s treasured memories.

“Well the closet wouldn’t have been my first choice.”

“I just wanted uninterrupted time with you.” In this small house, hiding away might be the only way Jimin could be with you alone. “I just want to make sure we definitely won’t be bothered,” Jimin sighs, leaning into clothes.

Clothes! You lean against him, picking a shirt off the hanger. You’re so excited by your find, you don’t notice how tense Jimin gets when your body presses up against him. “This would look good on you!” you hold up the shirt you chose.

Jimin takes a deep breath. “Y/n…”

You freeze when you catch his eyes. “Jimin…”

Oh god, why did you say his name like that? All breathy and high pitched and…needy…oh no, why does he have to look at you like that?!

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jimin murmurs, smirking.

Wait, how are you looking at him? You didn’t have very much of a poker face, despite what you thought. “Huh?”

Why does his lips have to be so soft when he kisses you? How does his tongue do that thing-

“Jimin, we can’t,” you step back.

You definitely did not mean to pull him back with you.

He chuckles against your lips, kissing you deeper.

“Wait.” You are suddenly very aware of how hot and cramped you were. You find the door knob, grateful for the new space to clear your head. “W-We really can’t. We should– We shouldn’t! We shouldn’t-” Why can’t you catch your breath?!

“We definitely shouldn’t,” he jokes, resting his hand on the bed’s post.

You exhale, looking at the empty bed. Not doing things with Jimin sounds very appealing. But you can’t! Why “can’t” you again? Oh yeah-

You sit on the bed, looking up at Jimin.

Jimin who is looking down at you with that tiny pleased smirk he can’t stop showing.

You stand up abruptly. No, a relationship was too risky, even if the threat of being eaten didn’t loom over your heads. And what if...

What if Jimin got tired of you, came to his senses once he reached Seoul and had more options?

“I thought we agreed to wait until Seoul-”

Waiting looks like the very last thing Jimin wants to do. “What if I don't make it to Seoul?!”

“Don’t say that!” you hiss. Why did he have to say that? Now you feel like crying. You must have looked upset, because Jimin is now looking at you with a mixture of confusion and worry.

Jimin hugs you close, arms wrapped around you tightly, like he knows you will fall apart if he doesn’t. His lips are trembling against your neck, you can feel your own body trembling against his.

You are not strong enough to resist him.

“Please Jimin, all I’m saying is you might feel differently once we get to Seoul-”

“I won’t-”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

It’s easier to speak when you are looking away from Jimin. “Everything that’s happened…that is happening, it’s easy to, you know, want to feel something other than fear or loneliness,” you swallow. “And I’m convenient to do that with,” you let your hands drop away from his embrace. “I feel like we’re just using each other, and once it’s not convenient, you won’t want me anymore. That’s why I wanted to wait.”

“I’m not using you, y/n!”

You look up at the ceiling to keep from crying. You weren’t from a rich family, or famous, you weren’t gifted, you weren’t special. You would have never been more than a fan to them had the world not gone to shit…

They left you alone.

You don't forget that, that nagging feeling always in the pit of your stomach, always tight around your chest when you notice one of them giving you that look, the one Jimin is giving you right now. The look Yoongi gave you after he said what a “mistake” it was kissing you.

And if you let Jimin kiss you again, have you on this bed, could you handle it if he tells you someday later, those exact words? You’re overcome with a weird feeling. Are you okay with that?

He’s looking at your lips.

Maybe you should. Fuck it. Yolo. Or whatever.

Can you push away those feelings?

Is...that what Yoongi did to you?

“Is everything okay?”

“Go away Namjoon!” Jimin yells as you pull away from one another as the bedroom door opens.

“What? Excuse me, Park Jimin?” Namjoon is staring at your distressed anxious expression. “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s fine. I-I’m fine. I…I need some air.”

Jimin grabbed your arm. He didn’t want to let you go, he knew you had a penchant for being reckless, and especially if you were about to go outside, he was definitely going to put a stop to it.

It probably sounded like a whimper, the sound you made when Jimin held you again, the way Namjoon was right by your side in an instant. “Let her go, Jimin!” He warns, holding both yours and Jimin’s arms.

“Kim Namjoon, why do you let her put herself in danger all the time?!”

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, PARK JIMIN?”

You wince at Namjoon’s booming voice so close to your ear. You hear footsteps rushing towards the room, so you rip yourself away from both men’s grasp.

Well, you just locked yourself in the closet. You just did that.

The men stare at the closed door for a while. They hear your muffled voice yell back, “I’m fine! I just need some time alone…in here. I won't go outside, I promise!”

---

You finally leave the closet when Seokjin knocks softly on the door telling you dinner is ready. You carry a box full of clothes, shirts and pants for each man to try on, and a new outlook on things after shifting through old keepsakes, a collection of items that told a story of a couple who must have been together for decades. You want that. But that kind of life, like old movie tickets, developed film, and festival prizes, that kind of blissful happiness was not possible for anyone anymore.

“Do we have water?” you ask Jungkook. He looks exhausted.

“Drinking water, yes.”

“What about…cleaning water?” you ask, hopeful.

“What about soap?” Jungkook asks.

You smile wide, clapping your hands together, pulling out everything you found and setting it up in a neatly filed line in front of Jungkook. “You have first pick, of course, if you get me that water,” you smile deviously.

Jungkook grabs the shampoo and conditioner combo. “You will have it all set up for you tomorrow when you get back from scouting.”

“Yay!” You give the youngest the tightest biggest hug you could muster up. “Oh! Maybe I should wait until after I bathe to give you a hug-”

“No! Hug now, and hug tomorrow!” Jungkook squeezes the air out of you. You giggle, despite not being able to inhale.

---

“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks wearily, finally speaking up. “I’m sorry-”

“You don’t have to apologize, Yoongi.” You dig through the neighboring house’s kitchen, handing Yoongi the cans of food you found. “I’ll just try not to act so irresistible next time,” you joke, in brighter spirits, winking at the idol.

Yoongi places the items in his pack, relieved you weren’t giving him the cold shoulder.

“Oh, thanks,” he says sarcastically. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job though with that smell.”

“Okay, mister! Oh look, I found some food for you!” You throw him some cat food, laughing.

“I expect a two course meal tonight,” you tease, after finding spam and more canned veggies.

“I’ll make sure to prepare a second course all for you with the cat food you found.”

“Ew!” You shove him playfully. “I guess I won’t share my dessert with you then.”

“What dessert?”

“You think these are still good?” You pull out a full box of chocopie from your pack. You smile in satisfaction at Yoongi’s stunned face.

“I guess I will have to make you a three course meal then,” Yoongi says, making you smile wider.

A noise makes you jump, and Yoongi instinctively covers your body with his. You force your head under his arm, unwilling to let him sacrifice himself for you.

“Stay behind me!” Yoongi hisses.

“No, you stay behind me!”

Yoongi shoves you with all his strength away from the noise closing in. It catches you off guard as you stumble backward, you hadn’t expected Yoongi to use so much force.

So you jump on his back, sending him stumbling and crashing into a very nice looking cabinet...full of glass wear.

Two of the biggest racoons you’ve ever seen in your life scurry out of the shadows and past you and Yoongi, making you squeal and tighten your grip around the rapper.

Yoongi sighs, freezing against you when he realizes his hands are holding your thighs.

“Next time just get behind me,” you mumble.

“No fucking way.”

You should be mad at him, but you can’t help but smile.

Yoongi should be mad at you, but all his anger dissipates seeing your smile.

You pass by a record player on your way out. “Yoongi! Do you think we could make it work?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “It needs electricity.”

“You can’t just turn the record with your finger?” You sound so desperate to hear music.

“The speakers won’t work without electricity. Sorry, y/n.”

You nod, crestfallen. Yoongi hides his disappointment too, the rapper wishes most of all to hear music again. You grab a pile of records, “just in case,” you say, hoping one day to find a way to play them. It makes Yoongi sad and happy all at once. He wouldn’t have done that, had any hope like that to begin with.

You both walk back to your new found home quietly, but now shoulder to shoulder.

You gasp, making Yoongi pause. “Oh! Look at that. The wall-”

Vine had grown all over the concrete fence. Between the two panels, vegetation had come in between them and on the sides, and now the gray that could still be seen resembled-

“It looks like the Army logo!” you laugh happily.

Yoongi looks at you. His eyes seem lost and far away and so reverent, and at the same time, he looks at you with that same reverence.

And Yoongi knows he shouldn’t. Not after Seokjin had confessed to him his growing feelings for you, or when Jimin looks at you so longingly during those moments you’re not looking.

Not after Yoongi had noticed the way his leader always gravitates to your side, and Jungkook’s red ears and wide smile when you give him your undivided attention. Yoongi knows there was already enough discontent in the group. He shouldn’t feel the same way.

But you’ve wound yourself around him like those branches.

You’ve grown on the rapper, your attitude and your kindness and your strength and your smile. He feels it, that excitement when he looks at the hidden symbol, only for a second, only because of you, and he’s grateful to you.

Your eyes follow his gaze, looking at him in excitement over such a small thing, a small sign that meant…still means so much to him…so much it hurts to remember. It hurts to think about what he had and what he lost. You mean so much to him. And he can’t lose you too.

Your eyes sparkle before they turn questioning, and before you can ask, Yoongi is already kissing you.

Your eyes widen, and your hand presses against his chest. Yoongi’s muscles are hard against your palm and makes you gasp how solid and warm he feels. He kisses you deeper, quickly, indulgently before he makes himself pull away.

You're both breathing hard, you look at him surprised, mouth agape, your lips still tingling from his contact.

He did it right in front of the house.

And right in front of his bandmates, waiting for both of you to return.

Shit, he thinks. Where did all his control go?! He wishes he could blame you, after all the things you do to make his heart burst so much he bursts to feel you.

He makes a quick apology before turning away from you. He knows he’s fucked up again when he feels your grip on his shoulder as you try to pull him back unsuccessfully and your silence following.

Maybe somewhere deep down he wanted you to chase him, and somewhere deeper he was disappointed you didn’t.

---

“Someone kissed you, someone here kissed you?! One of my brothers kissed you?!”

“No! No, no.” You say rather unconvincingly in Jimin’s opinion.

“...”

“Yes?”

“So? Who was it? I know it wasn’t Jungkook or Taehyung because they were the ones whispering about it.”

You groan inwardly. “Well it doesn’t really matter, because he didn’t mean to, but um, it was– and he regrets it! I think. Well he definitely regretted the first time-” you mumble, annoyed.

“First?! As in, this was the second time?!”

“Uhhhh…”

“Did you kiss him back?”

“...”

Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes. “So that’s why you didn’t want to be with me,” he laughs bitterly.

“What! No! Well yes…but not for that reason! Ugh! Jimin please,” you inhale deeply, “Yoongi regretted it as soon as it happened. I just didn’t want you…if we had done more, I didn’t want you to feel stuck with me once we reached Seoul,” you sigh.

“YOONGI KISSED YOU? TWICE?!”

“Eh? No? Yes?”

“You do know zombies are attracted to noise, right?!”

“Shut up, Dev!”

Taehyung and Jungkook, the cause of this commotion (because it was definitely not you and Yoongi) pull Jimin away.

“Maybe you should go check the bathroom, y/n,” Jungkook pleads.

You don’t have to be told twice. You nod, at a loss for words.

You stare at the half filled plastic tub situated in the middle of the bathroom, contemplating on drowning yourself.

It would certainly make things easier for the group. You decide probably not the best thing to do at the moment and pull off your shirt.

The door opens mid undress, and you decide to just pull off the dirtied material anyways.

“Oh shit, sorry! I thought you might have been done already.”

“Oh, I was…preoccupied.” Interrogated, more like it, you sigh. You cover your chest with the dirtied shirt, staring at BTS leader, Kim Namjoon, who looks sheepishly at his feet. “You wanted to use the water?” you ask hesitantly.

“No,” he lies, “We already washed up.”

“You did a shit job.” You notice his hair is still a little bit greasy.

Namjoon laughs. “Well Jungkook is rationing water like a maniac, we were only allowed a bowl full each.”

You suddenly feel horrible looking at the tub full of water you were about to use. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair, you can use the water first.”

“No, no! You deserve it out of all of us.”

“What?! No I don’t!” you exclaim, pulling Namjoon to the tub and heading for the door.

“Hold up, Jungkook will murder me if you don’t use this water,” Namjoon laughs.

You pause. Grabbing a towel and soaking it, you squirt soap across it. “Well…you need it more,” you smile half heartedly, holding the towel out for him to take. “Please.”

Namjoon sighs, pausing at the door.

He shuts it.

You sit on the closed toilet, suddenly realizing the situation you’ve put yourself in as Namjoon pulls off his shirt. He takes the towel from you, holding it to his face and sighing.

Where did your shirt go?! Should you go put a shirt back on? Should you leave and give him privacy? Or maybe you should stay very very still in hopes he forgets you’re still here. You glance over at Namjoon, trying not to stare as he wipes his chest.

Namjoon bends over your lap, wetting the towel again.

“Do you want help with your err back?” you ask.

Namjoon looks over at you. He hasn’t said a word since he’s closed the door. He simply nods, turning his back to you.

You notice all the scars littered across his torso and arms. It's sad what this new world does to you, you can’t escape it no matter who you are.

You wipe down his spine and across, over a particularly deep looking scar. It’s so close to his spleen, it must have been a scary situation. “How did you get that one?”

“I think it was when we were running through the woods after our first lake run. We hadn’t anticipated so many of them. I fell down and got jabbed by a branch, went in pretty deep,” he grunts, remembering the pain and having to get back up and keep running even as blood seeped out of his gash.

“Clumsy,” you tsk. Namjoon chuckles, back to being silent. So you tell him to lean over the tub. You cup water in your palms to wet his hair and you grab some of your shampoo.

He sighs as your nails massage the soap into his scalp, his arm absentmindedly holding your leg. You tell yourself it's so his clumsy self stays steady.

You pick up a cup and let the water run through his hair. “Don’t tell the others I did that for you, they might get mad at me.” You wonder just how mad Jimin currently is.

He shakes his head, flinging water at you, nodding happily. You laugh, looking away. His pants are soaking.

“Thank you.”

“I can leave, so you can finish cleaning your body,” you mumble.

“Or,” Namjoon says softly, “you could stay.”

That makes you look up. Namjoon stands upright, he looks so tense and wound up. You are faring no better, and this was supposed to be a relaxing experience!

“Do you want me to stay?” you ask slowly.

“Yes.” Namjoon says without missing a beat.

“Okay. So, I’ll stay,” you swallow.

“I can help you too, wash your back.”

You scoff. But he’s serious.

You have gotten very close to them, spending every waking minute with them, falling asleep in their arms, you’ve lost count how many times it’s happened. You try to always tell yourself it’s what you must do to survive, that’s all there is to it. That sort of familiarity was a kind of preservation.

This is probably the closest thing you’ve done with the leader. And the way he looks at you, with such a soft look in his eyes, making you second guess yourself, that mantra just doesn’t seem to fit this time.

You decidedly turn around, reaching for your bra clasp. Namjoon undoes it quickly, easily, surprising you.

Now it's Namjoon’s turn to look over the scars littering your body. They look deep and painful.

He touches one in particular. It’s a miracle you lived.

He holds his hand there, over the scar, palm resting on your side. Your heart feels like it’s pumping a thousand beats per minute.

He delicately runs the towel across your shoulder blades as you cross your arms over your chest.

You shiver when the cold cloth touches your skin. “I told you it was going to be cold,” Namjoon laughs. “You wanted to soak in that.”

“I’ll still do it,” you say stubbornly, getting used to the cool sensation.

You turn around once he seems to have gone over your back three times over. You were both topless, however you kept yourself covered with your arms. You didn’t protest when he wiped your neck and collar bone. You were concentrating on not making any noise at all actually, worried for the sounds that might come out.

Namjoon was taking deeper breaths, through and out his nose.

You wondered what kind of reaction he would have if you dropped your hands.

You also wondered how long it’s been since Namjoon has seen a woman’s body up close like this. You had already noticed how his eyes kept glancing down at your cleavage every other second. It’s been a long time since someone has seen you naked.

It would be like a thank you.

Were you really thinking about flashing the idol?!

But Namjoon…has become more. Felt like more…he was more to you. He’s more special to you than you could have possibly imagined.

Also you just kind of want to see his reaction. You chuckle.

Namjoon quirks his head, a small smile surfacing. “What?”

Oh god, what’s wrong with you?! Was the thought of showing him your boobs that amusing to you?

“I just realized you’re the only person that can really see me like this.”

“Is that why you’re avoiding Jimin?” He asks.

“Part of the reason,” you mumble.

“The others will-”

“No.” You shut down whatever his suggestion might be. “You’re the only person I trust completely, Namjoon.”

He nods. “I trust you completely too.”

You shy away, turning back around. Hearing your words repeated back to you, you didn’t realize how…intimate it sounded.

You hear Namjoon unbuckling his belt. You didn’t know what to do, so you started unbuttoning your pants as well. For some reason, your brain thought if you were both naked, that would make it less awkward. The mind is a funny thing.

You let your pants drop. Your heart rate is now ringing inside your ears.

You stumble over to the small tub, standing in the middle, waiting, glancing over your shoulder to a very naked Namjoon, hands over his manhood.

“You’re not really gonna-”

“Oh, I definitely am.” You try to sound as confident as possible with your heart fully jumping outside your chest and your eyes staring directly at your toes. “You too?”

“How is it?”

“Freezing.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Whatever!” You cup some water and let it trickle down your front.

It’s cramped as hell, you’re trying very hard to ignore Namjoon’s naked member pressed up against your bum. The water is cold, but every place Namjoon's skin comes into contact with yours, warmth is radiating.

Namjoon smiles. You're spooned against his front, knees pulled to your chest. He has to reach down your legs to wet his towel again, running the damp cloth across his neck and shoulder. He relaxes against you, resting his head against the tub’s rim as you meticulously lather soap over your body and through your hair. He tries to remember what compelled him to do this with you.

He wanted to be closer with you, and well now, he thinks there is no way he could possibly get any closer unless he jumped into your skin.

He didn’t want to leave you. Even though he knew he should have gone the moment he saw your shirt over your arms and your cleavage on display. He knew you were just being nice offering him your bath, but you looked at him eyes so pleadingly, half naked too, Namjoon wanted to stay with you, so he did.

He didn’t want you to leave him either. So he asked you to stay. He told himself, if you said no, then he wouldn’t push, he would accept that was going to be as close as he would be able to get for now. But then you stayed. He got what he wanted.

And now you were naked in his lap, happily splashing around while his balls froze, and Namjoon was exactly where he wanted to be. He probably shouldn’t feel so satisfied about it, but he’s been having to quietly deal with not being able to do what he truly wanted for so long…

“Well I’m having fun,” you laugh.

“Me too.”

“Y/n is that you?”

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

“Yeah, yeah it’s me. I’ll be out in a bit. I'm, um, busy!” You try to stand, but you have no footing.

“Oh okay!” Taehyung yells back. You listen for any sounds of movement.

“I can’t find Hobi or Joon, do you know where they went?”

“No um no, I don’t know where Hobi OR JOON is! I don’t know, I’ll uhh help you look after I’m done…go away now– Close the bedroom door when you leave! I need to grab my clothes.”

Taehyung sees two large shirts on the bed. He likes the color of one. “You want them now?”

“NO! No no, I’m busy, you should leave. I can’t um concentrate with you there.”

“Okay okay.” Jeez. Taehyung pouts. It’s not like he hasn’t heard it all before. But women are touchy with things like that so he lets you have your privacy.

You had floundered like a fish, leaning over to make sure Taehyung could hear you, arm outstretched in case you needed to throw the door closed. You had completely forgotten your, very naked, predicament.

Two of those predicaments pressed right against Namjoon’s cheeks.

Now you are very much understanding what you’ve done, and how rigid Namjoon is, trying not to think about you pressed up against him. And you notice how rigid something else is…..

You freeze in shock.

That doesn’t help Namjoon’s current situation.

“I can’t leave now. It will be too obvious,” Joon says, fighting every mortal urge inside him at this point.

You peel your breasts off him, falling out of the tub and onto slippery tile.

“I’ll leave!” Shit. Your own self restraint is hanging on by threads. You need alone time. How are you gonna get it here?

Fuck, it’s cold now, you’re missing Namjoon’s body against yours, you’re really missing it.

“Stay.”

“Namjoon, listen– oh,” you had intended to tell him the same thing you told Jimin, you hadn’t expected him to see him so...exposed.

Namjoo stood one foot out of the tub, skin wet and glistening, hand not so much covering much of anything as he gripped his very very erect cock.

Your mind goes blank. This was the first time you’ve seen him…that. Not in quick shy glances at the lake, not in unfocused looks, eyes downcast or upcast or anywhere but his fucking sexy body cast. You were shamelessly staring at the man in front of you, eyes wide open.

Namjoon looks so goddamn hot, so big. And you made him that hard, you can’t even bother to cover yourself, noticing his eyes looking hungrily at your bare chest as he runs his hand down his cock, gripping it tight.

You look up at him, panting. Goddammit, he’s so goddamn hot, touching himself to your body. You might just hyperventilate right in front of him, but that would be super unsexy of you.

Namjoon runs his tongue across his bottom lip, grunting. Or was that a moan?!

You feel so wet, so burning up, you’re surprised the water hasn’t evaporated off your skin.

“If we…if we…we’re just helping each other. Like friends. We’re just…”

Namjoon nods, too horny to think straight anyways he’d agree to anything you said.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just bends down, laying his body over yours so you can feel his warmth against you again.

It was your first kiss with Namjoon. Previously, there were moments at night when his lips grazed your shoulder, a couple times against the crook of your neck, that you chose to believe was something sort of a reflex he would do half asleep, probably remembering someone who was not you, an action he never mentioned once morning came. But this kiss was so desperate, full of passion and want. His lips were strong and rough, his mouth was devouring you.

You reach between your legs, gripping his length finally. “Fuck, you’re so hard,” you moan, impressed. “I am so wet right now.”

“Oh fuck,” Namjoon whimpers.

Fuck! He whimpered!

Yep. You’re gonna do it. There is no fucking way you’re gonna leave here without cuming.

You arch your back into him, hand now moving furiously up and down his cock. He kisses you, tongue licking into your open mouth. His fingers meet yours as he reaches for your center. You bite back moans, closing your eyes as his digits dig into your thigh, hiking up one leg to open you up for his skilled fingers.

You gasp, catching his eyes, the way his brows furrow and his intense gaze, so very different from when he’s half asleep. His fingers reach in deep inside you, a sensation you haven’t felt in so long. You try to focus on his pleasure, running your hand up and down his length, finding a speed he responds to the most and trying your best to keep it up as you fall apart under his own ministrations.

You finally lose your very intense very sexy staring match when he curls his fingers into you, your eyes rolling back. “Fuck…yes…yes,” you groan.

Namjoon is close, kissing you when he finally reaches his high, silencing himself against your lips as you shudder against him.

He breathes heavily against you. He wanted to do more with you, it was too quick, he was too quick, he thinks cursing himself, even though he should have anticipated that kind of reaction to finally being touched by another person in so long. But time, like everything now, is scarce.

You stare up at the ceiling, post orgasm clarity hitting you like a ton of bricks. Did you just really do that?! It just all happened so fast, and now Namjoon is laying over you so heavy you can't move. Namjoon lifts himself up after catching his breath and you stare at each other.

You wonder what he’s thinking. You’re too embarrassed to ask. At least you’re in the perfect place to clean yourselves up.

---

You’ve all decided to move tonight, closer to the river, closer to Seoul. Everything is packed! You’re all ready, well fed, prepared. You should all be feeling pretty confident at this point. But everyone’s in a bad mood, tense, well almost everyone.

Taehyung is staring at Namjoon’s new shirt suspiciously and the way he seems way too relaxed about things, the way he stands right behind you, extremely close, bodies touching like...no way...

‘No, definitely not.’ Taehyung thinks...he hopes not. Damn, he should have taken that shirt when he had the chance! You catch Taehyung’s narrowed stare and immediately look away like you are hiding something. “How did you like it?” Jungkook walks up to you, staring at your freshly cleaned face, you are glowing.

“It was perfect, thank you so so much,” you whisper.

“Do you still have some of the soap you used? You smell good.” You giggle when his nose tickles the crook of your neck as he sniffs you, knocking him away playfully.

“Mhmm it’s not soap,” you say happily, “It’s lotion!”

Jungkook holds his hand out expectantly. “Boy, your skin is perfect, you do not need it, I do!”

“Noona, share!” Jungkook whines.

“Finders keepers! Fine, I’ll let you borrow some later, remind me,” you laugh.

Taehyung stares at Namjoon, who is cracking his knuckles, his jaw tensing as he watches Jungkook touch you playfully. Taehyung notices the way his leader’s eyes immediately soften when you look over your shoulder and call his name asking if he was ready, smiling. He smiles too.

‘Oh my god,’ Taehyung thinks.

The group decides to break up into pairs and one trio. Normally you would have said, hell no, that’s being-chased-by-monsters rule number one, never split up the group!

But it was easier to move around this way, to hide quickly.

The first pair would make sure they had the second always in their sights and it would go down the line like that, so it was easy to alert the closest pair to any signs of danger and the message could get to the whole group no matter how far spread out.

And it was strategic, one pair could lure monsters away while the others slipped through. Another pair could help you escape. And if it came to the worst, at least it would only be a few, and not all of you…

Taehyung decides to step in when you and Namjoon want to be paired together, so that’s why you are currently holding hands with the baritone singer, crab walking behind a fence.

You pass by shops with Taehyung, looking through the store windows. You want to explore, you would have if you were alone. But now you were part of a group, with a group objective, and group members who were counting on you, so you move steadily forward. That would have been a cute outfit though.

Every once in a while the pair in front of you stops, sends you and Taehyung a series of hand gestures to translate. This time, you learn there are nine zombies at your ten o’clock.

Taehyung lets Jin and Yoongi know, telling them to follow you and him to the right while Namjoon and Hoseok throw rocks, leading the monsters away.

Taehyung has been unusually quiet. You suspect he’s probably mad at you on behalf of Jimin, so you don’t push him to make small talk. Grudges become trivial in these kinds of situations anyways.

You turn a corner and notice three zombies hunched near the remains of a food stall.

You wonder, were they customers at some point in their lives? They don’t notice you and they are pretty far away, but could definitely become a problem later. You and Taehyung exchange looks. “I’ll handle it,” you say.

“I got your back,” he whispers, signaling for the others to wait and hide.

One, down, a middle aged woman missing a huge chunk of her calf, her eyes so clouded she couldn’t see anymore, just smelled you too late.

Two, down, a business man still wearing his work suit, a hole in his jacket and his intestines falling out, his jaw crooked, a limp in his walk, he was already falling apart before you destroyed him completely.

The third one, he only had one bite mark on his neck. His clothes were grimy, like everything else in this new world, but his skin still had a lively color. He looks like he was turned not even a day ago, and he’s fast.

You fall down. Taehyung sinks his knife into the undead’s neck when he jumps on you, but the angle doesn’t hit where it needs to and the zombie turns his body to attack the idol. You grab the zombie at his ankles, giving Taehyung enough time to strike where it counts. Taehyung is shaken but okay. You are winded but okay.

You see the two eldest running towards your location and you hold up your hand to tell them not to worry. But they don’t stop, instead signaling you to hide. Taehyung pulls you up by the elbow and you run towards the empty stall.

“Grab that guy!”

“What?!”

“Hurry!” you hiss, yanking the now fully dead woman across the pavement.

One, Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, you count. Did you hear that right? Ten different pairs of feet dragging across pavement, ten different tones, growling, passing by you and Taehyung, currently lying under a broken stall table, with two corpses covering you. They drag around you, bodies shadowed on the red plastic table cloth covering you and Taehyung.

You both stay hidden, taking short breaths, listening intently, fingers numb from holding each other. The plastic tablecloth keeps you hidden but also traps the heat in and doesn't give you any field of vision. God, it smells horrible, the smell of death. You squeeze Taehyung’s hand tighter, letting the pain take your mind off the stench. You notice sweat roll down his forehead as Taehyung scrunches up his nose, trying not to inhale the smell.

Taehyung looks at you, telling you to wait, because he already knows that you’re itching to leave, to run, to fight. He tightens his already crushing grip.

“You remember what you promised me?” You promised Taehyung something? You look at him questioningly. “Before I become like them, kill me, so I don’t hurt my brothers.”

“We’re going to get out of here, okay?” Taehyung nods, very unconvinced. “Hobi and Joon, did you see where they ran?” Taehyung nods again, very not ready to leave. “I know you’re mad at me, but do you trust me?” Taehyung’s eyes go wide.

“I’m not mad at you.”

The growls can no longer be heard. You pull a corner of the table cloth up, looking around, seeing the undead group dispersed and in the distance, only moving shadows in the night now. “So you got my back, right?” Taehyung nods, eyes focused. “We’re gonna go really slow, clear the area as much as possible. If we see one, and they’re a slow one too, we’re gonna let them come to us.”

“And if it’s like him?” Taehyung gestures to the corpse next to him.

You smile, “We’re gonna let them come to me. You take them down. We just have to last until the others get to us. I trust you, Tae.”

You’re breaking your second rule on being-chased-by-monsters. Always run from newly turned zombies. But you’re doing it for Taehyung, for the group.

Also, you can’t deny that you and Taehyung have both gotten very good at defending yourselves. Of course every zombie encounter is life or death, of course it’s a terrifying experience to fight one, one Taehyung would rather avoid, but he hasn’t lost yet! The odds are in your favor.

This so happens to be just another night out in post apocalyptic times. And as you hold Taehyung’s hand, now standing in the middle of the unlit street, watching a few ambling monsters start ambling your way, you and Taehyung start to walk as if you were just out on a stroll, and you think, this is not the most horrible night out you’ve had post apocalypse, and you might even go far as to say pre-apocalypse either, thinking about that night you ended up in the ER.

Twelve more, down, you and Taehyung have stopped. You stand back to back, looking around for any signs of life.

“Should we just call out for help?” Taehyung suggests, looking around for any signals to where his brother’s have gone.

It’s so quiet now, you can only hear Taehyung, maybe the others are being quiet on purpose. “Not yet. Which way did you see Hobi and Joon go?”

“I think we should go back and find Jin and Yoongi.”

“Oh? Okay...” you let Taehyung lead you away. “W-Wait! Do you hear that?”

It sounds like a ticking, no, more like a pounding. Something heavy bumping into glass. You situate yourself against Taehyng’s back again. “What is that?”

“I don’t know, do you see where it’s coming from?” you whisper, looking at the buildings around you. Could it be the others? Are they in trouble?

Taehyung holds your hand, bracing himself, “Yeah.” He sees a young woman, banging on the glass in an abandoned store. It is fairly far, at first Taehyung thought she was signaling for help…

…but she’s banging on the door with her head.

There’s so much blood, but Taehyung can clearly see the way she bares her teeth. And in the shadows, Taehyung can just make out some movement, something else, coming closer. “We need to hide. Now!”

You look over your shoulder, to see what Taehyung sees, just in time to witness the glass break. Taehyung is leading you away before you can respond, running faster than you can keep up in the opposite direction. You stumble into an alleyway, looking for a place to hide. “WHY IS IT BLOCKED?!”

You have found yourselves at a dead end, a car jammed in the narrowest alleyway, turned over on its side, probably trying to escape the exact kind of monsters chasing after you now.

The monsters find you as you and Taehyung are desperately trying to climb over the car. “Wait wait wait!” Taehyung holds his hands up, knife ready to stab.

The zombie actually stops.

“Did you just speak zombie to her?” you ask incredulously.

It was probably a coincidence as the monster starts running towards you and Taehyung again. “Stop!”

“It’s not stopping, Taehyung! Just run!”

“It was worth another try.”

The zombie is catching up, not caring how badly damaged its body becomes as it catapults itself over the car. Taehyung trips, pulling you down with him. You’re sure to have cuts across your palms and elbows as you crawl away on the hard pavement.

Now the distance is closed, and there’s two more crawling over the top of the car like ants over a hill looking for something sweet to devour.

But before you can defend yourself, her head is already gone. “Get up!” An older man yells at you. Taehyung pulls you up as a strange group takes down the remaining zombies.

The stranger runs to the backdoor of a store, opening it with a key, ushering everyone inside until the last man joins you, and the old man locks the door again. “Thank you,” Taehyung says, winded.

The man introduces himself and the group. “We saw you outside, on the street,” he says. “It was impressive,” he adds. The pair of you seemed fearless taking on so many zombies, so he thought…

You stay quiet as Taehyung and the man talk. You look around, counting four other men and two women. You notice each woman clinging onto a man, presumably their boyfriend, and you glance down at your own hand, fingers still interlaced with Taehyung.

“Is it just you two?”

“Yes.” Taehyung says. There was another reason you broke off into groups, so if you ran into anyone living, depending on your situation, you could make sure they wouldn’t know about the others. “We’re trying to get to Seoul.” You hear soft laughter. Why is it always so funny?!

You haven’t spoken up, only stared at the group, trying to gauge their level of hostility. They seem curious about you and they don’t seem to have recognized Taehyung. “I don’t think there will be much left when you get there,” one of the men speaks up. “I escaped Seoul.”

They always say that too…

“What happened in Seoul?” Taehyung asks. “What do you remember?”

“What I remember? I think I blocked most of it out now,” he laughs bitterly. “The first day, it must have been half…half of everyone changed into biters by that night..” A few others nod their head in agreement. “We were told to stay in our homes, shelter in place, so we thought, ‘that’s good news,’ right? Someone would come and save us, bring us food and supplies at least, but there was...nothing. We had internet, we could contact our friends and family for a while. But power stopped eventually, and then we were really fucked to hell. No one came to help us, only to try to break down our doors to get inside. Once we finally left, it was completely changed, I’ve never seen anything like it. Seoul wasn’t Seoul anymore.”

“What about the military?”

“They tried their damndest from what I heard, but they were all overrun by those things, even the American base,” he eyes you up and down, wondering where you came from and if you understood him, your impassive face not giving anything away, He also questioned…bitterly…why a foreigner managed to survive all this time when his friends, his family, hadn’t.

“It can’t all be destroyed,” Taehyung says, choking on his words.

The man clears his throat, “There were rumors of certain communities in Gangnam and in Itaewon that created a good enough fortification, what’s left of the military now fends off the biters for them. But we also heard they would shoot anyone who came close to their buildings, living or not really.”

Taehyung seems to light up at that new information regardless. If rumors and half truths were anything to go by, that meant there still might be some hope someone he knew survived. Taehyung turns to you, “That’s good news, right?” You nod. Well, if you were to ignore the shooting on sight part.

“T-That’s not– Did you listen to me? If you go to Seoul you will die.” The man interrupts.

“You said there were survivors-”

“Yeah, they got the important people up in there, in their damn billion won penthouses, ready to kill off anyone who even tries to get close. It was rumored even the president ended up there. Or escaped to North Korea, some say. But it doesn’t matter, because they killed everyone else! They’re not going to let you in, even if you manage to get there. And the rest of the city is hell on earth. Trust me, you don’t want to take her there.”

Oh shit. You study the two women, do they recognize Taehyung? What will they do once they find out? Take out their anger on one of those billion won penthouse owners? Thank god it’s dark in here, only a few rays of light from the moon shine through the windows and everything else is in the shadows, you and Taehyung included.

��And you have a place here, if you want it.” The old man interjects. “It was impressive, what you did, both of you,” he repeats. He needs more people like you here, he needs more fighters. There’s already so many factions in Hongcheon, it’s a miracle his tiny group has survived up until now.

“Can we…think about it? We still need to get supplies, that’s why we came out in the first place. We’ll go out and come back here, now that we know this place is safe.” Taehyung says.

“Okay, go and help him.” The older man asks another.

“I can show you where we sleep,” one of the women walks up to you, putting her head on her hands in case you didn’t understand her.

“No, she’s coming with me,” Taehyung interjects. He hasn’t let go of your hand this entire time.

“I know you want to protect her.” The older man adds, noticing the way you stayed glued to each other, even when you fought the monsters you always held onto each other's hands unless you absolutely had to let go, only for moments at a time. “It would be safer for her to stay here.”

You look at Taehyung with wide eyes, trying to convey to him all the things you want to say. Like, hell fucking no! There is no fucking way you are letting him out of your sight! Who the fuck cares whatever place they have to sleep looks like?! They’ve got to be kidding-

“Uh, let me talk to her, to explain!” Taehyung pulls you away, deeper into the store.

“Taehyung, you can’t be seriously thin-”

“I noticed the front door is barricaded, there might be a window in the bathroom, no, that’s not gonna work-”

“Oh-”

“We need to leave, y/n. Right now.”

You nod. “Do you think they recognize who you are? We need to be careful.”

“Yeah.” Even if it’s been awhile, Taehyung knows better than anyone, he still can spot a fan just by the way they look at him, the way they act, or pretend to act.

“How are we going to leave without them noticing?” You glance over to the strangers, trying to see if they are talking amongst themselves, if they are being told about Taehyung.

He pulls you further away, eyeing the shelves, glancing over his shoulder at the group. Taehyung sighs. “I think we’re gonna have to break one of our rules-”

Oh great, there goes rule number three on being-chased-by-monsters, out the window.

“We know all the places that have been already cleared of biters, there might be a few stranglers, but nothing like what you just went through.”

“Okay,” Taehyung eyes the way you visibly frown as one of the women tries talking to you about the roles the men and women accomplish day by day, and he tries not to laugh.

The more of these “chores” she goes through, the more it’s sounding like they want to turn you into a 1950s housewife. And she might be all too content to sweep the post apocalyptic dust around the store so it can settle into another corner for the next day, but you certainly are not!

And why is Taehyung smiling at you?! “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Taehyung gives you a hug, and touches your cheek softly, looking into your eyes like he’s about to kiss you.

And then he kisses you.

What. You close your eyes and just go with it, trying not to look too surprised or too awkward.

And then he bends down and kisses your stomach, smiling, before giving you one last kiss on your forehead. “Just wait and remember to let them come to you,” he whispers against your temple.

Eh? Did Taehyung just Peeta you? You get he’s trying to protect you, but you think you might actually murder him after this. You look around, grinning as wide as you can pretend to, seeing everyone’s surprised faces.

“Wait,” you tug on Taehyung’s sleeve. Actually, you really hate this, you don’t want him to leave you here! So much has changed since you last broke rule number three: never go out at night on your own. You hold his head in your hands. Somehow holding him like this, with your foreheads and noses touching, feels more intimate than when your lips touched.

“Please, be careful…for the baby,” you add. Taehyung nods, smiling. He hugs you tight and you’re both reluctant to let each other go.

If they had any doubts you and Taehyung were together, they didn’t anymore.

“So, you’re pregnant?” The woman makes an arch over her stomach with her arm, “Baby?”

“Yep,” you fake smile, holding your belly and inwardly groaning.

You walk aimlessly around the store, most of the shelves are empty now, apart from things like a row of pastel phone cases, this plastic thing that you can’t figure out what its supposed to be, hmm, it seems collapsible, but even the smaller size doesn’t make sense to you! And, ironically, you find a row of baby powder. Damn, even in the apocalypse people don’t forget how bad it is for you.

There’s the older gentleman, two women, and one of their boyfriend’s who stays behind in the store. Just wait, y/n. Wait. Did Taehyung forget how impatient you are?

“Bathroom?” you ask.

“Oh, it’s outside but we can’t go now. Wait. Later. Outside,” the woman, whom you learn is named Jinyoung, says, hoping you understand.

You sigh, you could make a fuss, you know pregnant women and their bladders, but you really don’t want to pee in a bucket somewhere inside here to prove a point. You flick the crumpled remains of some food packaging, sifting through the junk. Everything is empty apart from what you found, which Jinyoung promptly grabs from your grasp. “Oh, no, no good,” Jinyoung speaks up, “baby powder causes cancer.” You smile at her, laughing awkwardly.

The couple seems preoccupied at least, you think, they are all looking at you, however. You catch their eyes peering at you every so often. You feel like a caged animal putting on a show. This is an act in a way.

The store is pretty clean despite having been ransacked. You could try and run upstairs to the living quarters, but you had no idea what was waiting up there for you. The front door is indeed blocked. The glass windows look thick, probably won’t break unless you throw something really heavy at it, and even if you want to escape, you won’t destroy their home to do it. The old man is standing guard by the back door, blocking your only exit. Ugh.

It’s been awhile, at least a couple of hours now. You listen to the women whisper to one another while you try not to run head first into the glass like that zombie woman just so you can escape this place and search for Taehyung and the others.

“I knew there had to be a reason why he was with her.”

“He’s a good man, watching over her. They really care about each other.”

“Because she’s carrying his child, obviously.”

“That’s exciting though. A small Taehyungie, She’s so lucky.”

“Yeah, that’s going to be more people to feed.”

“It’s going to be the most beautiful baby, oh! You know, if she survives.”

“She definitely won’t.”

Mmm don’t think murderous thoughts, y/n. It’s bad for “the baby.” ‘It’s been too long, they should be here by now,’ you think. ‘Ok, screw this plan,’ you think, finding something you thought you’d never see again: a jar of gochujang paste.

“Hey old man, please will you move and open the door, I need to leave.”

“It’s not safe to go out alone, young lady. Your boyfriend should be back soon, don’t worry.”

“Are you holding me prisoner?”

“Of course not,” he says, flabbergasted not only by your accusation but your ability to speak fluently, “but I also will not allow you to put yourself in danger under my watch. I know we are strangers to you, for now, but we should still look out for one another-”

“Let her go if she wants to go!” one of the women says.

“I appreciate you saved my life, I really do. So this is a courtesy to you, I’m protecting you, from me.”

“What is she saying? She doesn’t make any sense.”

Ugh. “I’m bitten. I got bitten, and I’m going to turn, so let me out!”

“What?!”

You lift up your shirt, “I didn’t want to say anything before, not in front of my…partner. But see, I have to go! You’re in danger the longer I’m in here!” You show him a scar on your side, where you have strategically placed the dark red paste to look like a bleeding bite mark.

“Kill her!”

“Or just let me leave?!”

“Oh my god, can we save the baby?”

“She’s not even showing! What are we gonna save?”

The younger man runs up to you, chasing you through the aisles. “Just let me go outside, damn.”

“Your Korean is so good!” Jinyoung exclaims.

“Thank you,” you say, barely dodging the man’s fist.

Suddenly, there is a pounding on the door, scaring everyone into silence. “Open the door!” Jinyoung exclaims.

“There’s a code,” the man waits. The pounding gets louder and quicker, rattling the door.

“What if they are in trouble! Open it!” you yell.

“What if it’s those biters?! We can’t let them in!”

“Hello, did you forget about me?!” you whine.

“OPEN IT!”

“Please, hurry!”

The older man relents, unlocking the door. And in bursts-

“Jin!” you cry out.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD.” Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi are right behind him. Someone, you can’t tell if it’s Jinyoung or the other woman, screams.

Namjoon holds out his knife, pointing it at the old man. “We’re not going to hurt you, we just came to get our friend.” You run towards the singers as fast as your legs can take you.

There is another reason why you broke into pairs, so you could save each other. Namjoon grabs you first, pulling you into a hug.

“She’s bitten, stay away from her!”

You pull out the gochujang from your pack, “Oh, I lied, sorry, I just really wanted to leave.”

“But t-the bite-”

“Fooled you, didn’t I? It does look like blood if you dilute it enough.”

“Oh my god, you found this?!” Seokjin asks excitedly.

“Let’s go!” Yoongi grunts.

“Where’s Taehyung?!” You jog up to the leader.

“We’re getting there,” he says. You haven’t stopped running since leaving the store.

Finally you see that moppy headed menace, running towards your group. “Next time YOU wait!”

“But my plan worked, didn’t it?”

“You really just had to tell them I’m pregnant?”

“Hey, I was doing it to protect you! I didn’t know if they might hurt you because of who you were.” Taehyung says, and the irony is not lost on you.

“How did you get away from those men?”

“It was pretty easy, I just said I was bit-”

“No way, me too!”

“How much longer do we have to run? My legs hurt!” Seokjin yells.

“Pace yourselves because it’s gonna be a while,” Hoseok says.

“Next thing we look for are some better shoes,” you whine.

A zombie runs towards your group, and you use the opportunity to take out your frustrations of the night, piercing through the monster’s jaw and up. The blood goes all over your clothes. Now you look just as dirty as the day before. “I just took a bath. UGH.”

“Don’t upset the baby!” Taehyung laughs, running away from you.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” you run. You turn the corner and find Jungkook, Jimin and Dev waiting for you. The group is now all together again, running into the night.

“So, anything new happen? How's the weather?” you ask Dev.

“Those zombies that were following us are taken care of,” Hoseok speaks up.

“We might have more than zombies following us now,” Taehyung adds. “Like living zombies, what are those called again?” he jokes.

“We ran into people too!” Jungkook says, running past you with ease.

“Yeah?”

“They’re trying to get to Jeju!”

“Jeju, why?” Namjoon asks

“They said that’s the place with no zombies.”

“How do they know?” you ask, intrigued.

“Well they don’t, but that’s what others have told them and they sound pretty convinced.”

“Any news that’s not a rumor?”

“Y/n is pregnant with my child!”

“Yeah, that’s just a lie.”

Taehyung then goes into all the details you’ve learned about Seoul.

“So, we just have to figure out how to not get shot, convince them to let us in, and hope our families are somewhere inside?”

“I don’t think they would shoot BTS.” you say, confident.

“And we have no idea if any other place, if Big Hit, is a safe area or not.” Jin asks.

“I mean, it could be?”

“The odds are not great, but it’s not horrible odds, aye!”

“We’re gonna die.”

“Ugh shut up, Dev. We’re in Hongcheon and we’re doing…okay. I even found gochujang!”

“I can’t have spicy food.”

“UGH DEV PLEASE. It’s not even that spicy!”

“Damn, if only we had meat,” Jungkook sighs.

“Shhh Shh don’t do this to me now, I am running on fumes, literally.” Jin says.

“I want K-BBQ. Please god don’t let me die until I can have K-BBQ again,” Jungkook wails.

“Why are you laughing, y/n?”

“Nothing, it’s a bad joke. You don’t wanna know…also what are the odds a zombie has eaten a person that has been recently caught on fire?”

“Y/n!”

“BAHAHA.”

---

You wake up crying again.

Even in the bright daylight, your tired bodies were fast asleep. You ran all night, finally finding a suitable house that didn’t smell like death, and hid yourselves inside. You look over at the sleeping bodies around you, reflexively counting each head. Wait, what? Someone is missing!

You see the final head, leaning against the open door frame, looking outside. You move quietly and make your way over to him. “Yoongi?”

“Go back to sleep.”

“You should go back to sleep, you look exhausted,” you whisper.

“It was hard to sleep.”

“If you’re worried about someone standing guard, I can stay here.”

“It’s too sunny to sleep now.”

You sigh, giving up arguing with the rapper, sitting in silence with him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks, curious.

“I don’t know,” you laugh. “Sometimes I can remember the dreams, but most of the time I can’t, I just know it was probably something horrible.”

Yoongi has noticed the way you cry in your sleep, shake and whimper until someone holds you, only then will you calm down a bit, so the members take turns making sure you always have someone next to you when you’re resting. “I was thinking, once we get you guys to Seoul, I might try to go to Jeju,” you say wistfully.

“What about the Embassy?” he asks.

“What are they gonna do if they are still even there? How would they get me out of the country? I’m…not as confident that my family is still around.” You give Yoongi a sad smile.

“What about your family here?” You tilt your head, surprised by his words. “You’re gonna leave us?” he asks.

You bite your lip in thought. “I don’t know.” With the way everything changes so quickly, you had no idea what to anticipate. There are so many things that could happen before you reach Seoul and then after, you can’t even begin to figure out your future. “Do you want me to stay?”

Yoongi stays quiet. With you forever, is the implication. “Jeju is nice, I might go to Jeju too,” he says, not looking at you.

You smile at the thought. It’s nice to imagine what a trip there would have been like before the world turned upside down. You hold out your palm to him. “I promise to forget,” you tease.

He puts his fingers in between yours, holding your hand. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, thumb making circles into your skin when you rest your head on his shoulder. It’s pretty outside, in its own special way, how the trees and vines have covered everything now, how everything that’s abandoned sits still and serene. There’s even flowers, sprouting in the most unlikely places.

“Jimin’s mad at me.”

“He’s mad at me too.”

“He’s not mad at you,” Yoongi sighs. “I think he’s in love with you.” You freeze. “And I think you should give him a chance-” he continues.

“Yoongi. It’s not that I don’t want to give Jimin a chance– Do you really think he’s in love with me?”

“Yea-”

“And if I wasn’t the only woman here do you think he would still be ‘in love’ with me?” you frown.

“Is that why-”

“I just don’t know, Yoongi, I don’t know if I can believe that. I don’t know if he really believes it, or just wants it to be true because I…I am-”

“The only woman here?” Yoongi finishes for you. You hum.

“That’s why you kissed me, right? And Namjoon, nevermind.”

Yoongi stays quiet, until finally asking, “And what do you feel?”

“I can’t, I can’t, I’m scared,” you start to laugh despite your welling eyes. “We almost died, again, last night, how can I let myself fall in love, if something happens, how can I survive that? I can’t.”

“And here I thought you were fearless,” Yoongi smirks, wiping away a stray tear.

You snort. “I’ve never been more scared.”

“You are my family,” you say, answering his previous question. “You are everything I have left. That’s how I feel.”

“Even Dev?”

You laugh, “Yes, even him…maybe.”

Yoongi watches you smile. He understands your fear, he’s felt it, let it consume him, weigh him down until he’s stuck inside himself, frozen by that fear. But this kind of new world forces you to face your demons. You can try to hide, alone, too scared to go outside and too scared to move, but he’s learned hiding in bed under the covers won’t keep you safe, won’t keep the people you love safe either.

“It’s scary to put yourself out there. It was scary even before the world went to shit.”

“So did you have someone, before?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, not really. I was always so damn busy, it was hard to have anything serious. I would go into the studio, work all day, losing track of everything else, I told myself I had plenty of time to settle down. Funny now that I think about it.”

“After?” Yoongi sighs. He looks like he’s in pain, in thought. You hold his hand a little tighter out of reflex. “I’m sorry.” You assume, like most everyone else, the person he cared about is gone.

“To be honest, I can’t believe we made it this far,” you laugh, changing the subject. “You’ve got to have some new songs about all of this. Some, survivor-you-can’t-stop-me type song you’ve got.”

“Writing lyrics is not on the top of my to-do list right now.”

“Mhmm, you’re just collecting pens because you like them, right?”

“I have a few raps,” Yoongi confesses. “No music, no way to make a beat even if I want to.” You make a silent note to try to find Yoongi some kind of an instrument. “Music is gone.”

“That’s a good song title. But I have to disagree, it’s not gone. I think there are songs everywhere just waiting to be written. This moment? There’s a song,” you look out at the landscape. “Hear it?” You hum a tune you feel.

Yoongi laughs. “You sound like Namjoon.” Namjoon. You can’t think about him without thinking about what happened. How did that even happen?! It was like some horny demon possessed both of you.

You thought it would be awkward afterwards, but it wasn’t. You put on the clothes you laid out, handed him one of the shirts you found and you laughed when he tripped over his pants leg. Namjoon shoved you playfully, knocking you onto the bed. He looked at you without shying away and told you to put on some pants in a way that sounded like, “I like seeing you without any pants,” and then you both walked outside and acted like nothing ever happened.

But for some reason you can’t act like that with Yoongi, his kisses are haunting you still, his touch is still burning across your lips when you remember (even though you promised him you wouldn’t). You never really got a real answer from him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You sit in comfortable silence. The others haven’t stirred awake yet, and you’re content to sit here with Yoongi until they do. You wonder about him, though. Is he happy you’re keeping him company or feeling burdened? Yet he hasn’t let go of your hand.

“You guys are close to one another, you and Joon,” Yoongi says in sort of a questioning way.

“Yeah, I guess. He takes on everyone’s burdens, even my own,” you sigh.

Yoongi nods. He should let go of you. You hum that tune again, looking outside, holding Yoongi’s hand tightly. Instead he clicks his tongue to the beat, making you laugh loudly. “Sorry, sorry.” You look back at the others who thankfully haven’t woken up from your outburst. “That’s good! So you can hear it too then, the song out there,” you joke.

He feels stuck, knowing his brothers want you, and knowing how it feels to kiss you, knowing how soft your lips are, and knowing he can’t kiss you again, he just can’t.

“You’re beautiful.”

You stop laughing.

Yoongi said it in English.

When you know two languages, it’s hard to explain the differences in the words and how they make you feel. You’ve been called yeppeun. You’ve seen the word in textbooks, heard it in lyrics and Korean shows.

But beautiful is what your first boyfriend called you right before he kissed you, what your childhood best friend called the butterfly that landed on your knee when you were playing together, what your mom said when she looked at you before you left the house on your first date, what your grandmother called you as a kid so many times when she consoled you and held you in her arms as you cried. “My beautiful girl.”

You’ve been speaking Korean for so long now. It just feels different being called beautiful. Beautiful is what you haven’t felt like in a long time...

“I’m sorry!” you pull away from Yoongi after surprising him with a kiss.

Yoongi nods. He had wanted to kiss you in that moment so badly he hadn’t expected you would kiss him. It was too quick, it was barely a kiss. Is that really going to be his last kiss with you? “I can’t kiss you anymore.”

“I know, fuck, I’m sorry.” You pull away further, but can’t go far with Yoongi’s vice grip around your fingers.

“I can’t-”

“I’m sorr-”

“I’m sorry.” And he takes the opportunity to kiss you one last time, letting all his unspoken emotions flow through his lips, his tight embrace. He feels your soft lips one last time, he lets his fingertips run across your cheek, your neck, rolls his tongue inside his mouth just once more. He finally breaks away and lets his thumb run across your lip, just to feel one last time.

That should have been the end, yet your eyes start shining, glassy as tears start forming, and you close the gap between you again.

Until you hear something off in the distance. “Did you see that?”

Yoongi looks in the direction you’re studying. “No?” He looks for any sign of life or, well, animated death.

“I swear I saw something,” You both stand up, searching for any movement for a while until you give up. And now kissing Yoongi seems to be left in the past, another thing you can’t get back.

---

One last supply run in the city before you move again.

Everything is empty, this run is not looking very fruitful. You’ve gone to three restaurant already and have managed to find only one tiny can of edible food. You’ve just entered the fourth restaurant and it doesn’t look like this place has anything to offer either.

So far you haven’t encountered any undead, which is the only good thing about this run, until you hear a noise coming from the kitchen of a restaurant you, Jimin, Jungkook and Namjoon are currently searching through.

“Yo RM, come here.”

“What’s up?

“I thought I heard something over there.”

You make your way through the kitchen. Everything is either gone or moldy. You sigh, “I don’t know if we’re gonna find anything here either.”

“This part of town seems completely empty.”

“What are we gonna do? We need to eat.” You go through another cabinet, finding nothing.

“We still have some food leftover. We can keep trying, stay here for a few more days and check the other streets.”

You nod. This restaurant looks like it specialized in fried chicken, the oil smells putrid now. What’s left in the freezer would probably kill you if you tried to eat it.

“Man, this sucks,” you wipe the sweat accumulating off your forehead.

“Can we do anything with this?”

“Flour? Mmm we could make the blandest pancakes you’ll ever eat,” you laugh.

Namjoon pouts. He pulls off his jacket. It’s safer to wear layers when out, but the days are getting hotter, and no aircon inside makes certain spaces really unbearable.

“You should keep that on,” you eye the way his muscles flex.

“I’m burning up.” You cover his forehead with your palm, checking his temperature. “Not like that-” and Namjoon uses a word you don’t understand.

“What does that mean?”

“Genius.” By the way Namjoon is smiling at you, you just know it means the opposite. “Ow!” he winces when you hit him, looking so accosted you start to giggle. Namjoon hugs you from behind, and the big towering giant he is decides to lift you off your feet, making you squeal.

“N-Namjoon, Y/n!” Jimin sounds scared.

The kitchen door opens. “Sorry to break up whatever this is, but it’s time to come out now and join the others. Oh, you know she was kissing Yoongi the other day, looks like I was right. You’ve got your own groupie whore.”

You knew you felt eyes on you. “Hey Minho.”

“Hey bitch.” He points a gun at you and Namjoon.

Who the fuck gave this man a gun?

Minho ushers you both out into the eating area, where they are several men with various weapons all aimed at your friends. Minho is the only one with a gun, though.

“I told you I would make you regret choosing her,” he says to Namjoon, sneering at you.

Minho looks possibly even more buff than you remember. “I made new friends,” he smirks. His new friends look very unfriendly. They lounge around, overly confident, looking amused by the situation.

“Of course you did,” you grunt. He pushes Namjoon towards Jungkook and Jimin and separates you from the others.

“I just needed to have been an idol, then you would have given it up, yeah?” he whispers in your ear, grabbing the knives from your pockets and throwing them on the ground.

You roll your eyes. “You’re following us? That’s not creepy at all.”

“Where are the others?” Minho asks Namjoon. He grabs the back of your neck and holds the gun to your temple when Namjoon doesn’t speak. “Where are they?”

“Searching the restaurant next door. We’re only staying a couple more days, then we’ll leave this city.”

“Still believe you can make it to Seoul, huh?”

“Just let us go.”

“We will, after you give us your backpacks. Hurry up now.” The three men glare at him but relent, handing the thieves their packs.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you ask him.

“Nope,” Minho smirks. “Okay, you can leave now,” he points his gun at the leader.

“Wait, him too.” One of the men speaks up, pointing at Jimin.

“No. The deal was her.”

“Well the deal has changed, I want him too,” he eyes Jimin up and down. Namjoon and Jungkook instantly hide Jimin with their bodies.

You struggle in Minho’s hold. “Minho, what are you doing? What deal did you make with them?!”

Minho stares at Jimin. “Anyone else but him.”

The man looks between the singers. “He’s the prettiest, I want him.”

Minho pauses. Even if he wanted to hurt Namjoon, he still felt a sense to protect Jimin. It had been his job for so many years, and then it had been his decision to keep protecting the singers even after his position wasn’t official any longer. You, he didn’t care about you. But Jimin, deep down, he still cared about him. He couldn’t let something horrible happen to him, not when Minho could stop it.

Minho exhales exasperatedly. “Not him,” he says, pointing the gun at the thief.

“Minho, come on now, you and I both know there’s no bullets in that gun.” What? You elbow Minho in the stomach, running towards the kitchen when he doubles over in pain.

“Grab her!” one of the thieves yells.

Namjoon punches one of the men too distracted by you. Jungkook lunges for your knives on the ground and unleashes all the pent up fury he’s felt on the unlucky few who had tried to hold down the singer. Namjoon and Jimin exchange looks with Minho.

They charge the thieves.

---

“Leave me alone!” You swing a pan in the thief’s face as he swings his knife and both metal pieces clang together. You fall hard on the kitchen tile as he lunges at you. There’s more men, all armed, all coming for you, and the only weapon you have is a stupid pan!

You feel like you’re hyperventilating, trapped in such a small space. You bang on the door, crying. It finally opens and someone is shoved inside with you. He’s cut, bruised, thoroughly beat up.

“Piss off your new friends?”

“Not really, we’re going to finish what we started, yeah?”

“Touch me and I'll kill you.”

“I would like to see you try.”

“What happened? They didn’t take Jimin, did they?!” you ask, horrified.

“No, they escaped,” Minho grunts, thumb running over his cut lip.

“Oh. Good,” you say, relieved.

Minho laughs. “And you? Did you forget you’re their prisoner? They are going to do whatever they want to you?”

“If the others escaped, they’ll come for me.”

“You’ve got them whipped for you, must be really good pussy.”

“Ugh, maybe I’m more to them than just a hole, you fuck?”

“You really think they would give you a second glance under normal circumstances?”

“No! I don’t!” you scream. God, he pisses you off. “I thought you would have, that’s why I kissed you! Big mistake that fucking was.”

“So what, you kissed me because you thought I would lower my standards for you?” he jabs.

Oh, this fucker! He says that like he wasn’t flirting with you for months on end before you kissed him. “You know what?” you cross your arms, “Yeah, I did, Minho. I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to try and have something more with you so we wouldn’t have to, you know, die alone in an apocalypse. But then you ended up being the most vile despicable jackass-”

Minho throws your body against the door, arm pressed against your throat. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! This is all your fault! You ruined everything!”

The door opens just in time for you to catch in oxygen before you pass out. “Will you two shut the hell up! Take her to my room,” he says to one of his men, “Minho, you had your turn, now it’s mine.” It’s that thief, the one who wanted Jimin, the one who seems to be in charge. You scream until the wind is kicked out of you. “Don’t hit her face.”

You crumble inward, trying to cover your body from their kicks until one lifts you up, carrying you over his shoulder while you scream and cry.

Shit, the windows are boarded up. The bed, like everything in this building, looks disgusting. Everything else, you notice grimacing, is barren, like this room only had one purpose.

The door slides open.

“Okay girl, we can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

“I’m not easy.” You move to the furthest corner, pressing yourself up against the filing cabinet. You just had to wait, you are an expert at waiting, you tell yourself. You can do this, whatever happens, you can move past this, you tell yourself. Horrible things happen to you all the time, you’re just gonna have to add this to the tally.

“Good, I prefer the hard way.”

Please, god, let them find you soon.

You’ve met men like this before, men that think you owe them something just because you’re a woman. “Smile more,” men who think your body is for their eyes, created for their hands and their mouths and their-

You bite down on his hand, digging your nails into his face. He hits you, hard, but not hard enough to knock you out thankfully. He’s not that kind of man, at least, you think bitterly. He is the kind of man who has no qualms making you know how much stronger he is than you, making it hurt, wants you pretty but also will give you a black eye for daring to go against him. There’s so many men like that now. You feel lucky knowing you have men around you that don’t act like that.

You scream again.

---

Jungkook leaps up the stairs, taking two at a time. He’s in the lead. He’s always been fast, but this time, after months of running from monsters, and an insane amount of stamina, he’s like lightning.

This office building is small, but there are so many floors, and they’ve already cleared the first two without finding you. But Jungkook has a suspicion the men he’s searching for are on the top floor, so he trusts his gut and he races to find you.

Jungkook is the first to open the door to a group full of men surprised to have a visitor. He stays in the stair well, he’s not crazy enough to run in there alone yet, since the others haven’t caught up to him. He still has to keep a level head, let them come to him, let him knock each one of those bastards out. He grabs another and throws him over his back and down the stairs where his brothers are about to arrive.

Maybe Jungkook is a little crazy at this point, he throws someone over the railing into the open space between stairwells and the man screams as he falls five flights down, body clanging onto metal as his bones break. Jungkook uses his arms to defend from knives and gets his jacket and skin sliced in the process, yet he keeps on swinging while blood drips down his fists. Yeah, Jungkook is a bit crazed, but he has good reason to be as he hears you scream again for help.

He runs inside once he has his brothers behind him. He runs towards the sound of your screaming, knocking away anyone who gets in his way. He feels his restraint slipping, he feels like he might enjoy killing whoever is hurting you. It’s already been too long, your voice sounds small and broken. He throws his full weight into the locked door, knocking into the wood with his shoulder until the lock busts.

“Don’t even think about it.” You have a knife to your neck, your body shielding the man who has you captive, just another way he’s found to use your body. “Let me go and I won’t kill her.”

“Let her go or I will kill you.” The fighting has stopped. It’s clear to both men who won as Namjoon and Seokjin arrive to help Jungkook. The man holds onto you a bit tighter, he realizes he might be the only one left and by the look in his eyes he’s planning on surviving until the very end. He shuffles your bodies closer to the door, closer to his escape.

It’s an achingly slow pace as he makes sure no one can attack him from behind. He looks at the bodies of his men on the ground, realizing just how dangerous this group of yours is, he should have never made a deal with that damn Minho, he should have let him fight his own battles, now he’s standing in a graveyard of his own men.

You pass by each member and you can’t make eye contact, you let your tears silently fall, let your body be pulled in hopes it will all be over soon. He finally makes it to the stairwell, relieved. “Give me your word you won’t follow me and I’ll let you have her.”

“Fine,” Namjoon speaks for the group.

He presses his knife into your neck. “That doesn’t sound too convincing.”

Suddenly, his grip lessens. He drops his knife and, finally, you can get away. You turn around and see his surprised wide eyes. You feel just as shocked as he looks when he makes a gurgling noise instead of speaking.

And suddenly Dev’s equally shocked face pops up from behind the man’s shoulder.

He had been too scared to enter the office room, but looks like he hadn’t been too scared to stab the man holding you in the back of the neck. “I did it. I killed him,” he says, equally excited and petrified as the man falls onto the ground.

You look at him in shock. “Yeah.”

---

“He’s bleeding!”

“Taehyung, no…”

“Shit, I’ve never been stabbed before, this hurts.” Taehyung winces.

“Oh god, how do we stop the bleeding,” Jimin asks, panic rising in hiss voice.

Namjoon answers, “There’s one way, we have to burn it with something hot. Find a small knife-”

“I’m going to be stabbed twice?!”

“Wouldn’t it be better to, like, stitch it, with a needle or something?” Taehyung grimaces, the thought of being sewn together without any pain medicine is making him feel sick.

“What about the internal bleeding?”

“Oh god.”

“You’re going to be fine, your body just needs to heal...someone start a fire!”

“OH GOD.”

“Jungkook, I’m fine, go help them,” you tell him. Jungkook doesn’t believe you are fine at all. Your eye is swollen, your shirt is missing buttons, your neck is bruised and who knows what else he can’t see is bruised.

“You’re bleeding too?!”

“Oh,” Hoseok winces, clutching his side. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as Taehyung.” Except it does look as bad as Taehyung’s wound. Hoseok's whole left side is covered in blood. You start to cry again, feeling responsible.

Jin is the one who cauterizes the wounds. Namjoon and Jungkook holds the members down. Hoseoks passes out but Taehyung somehow stays conscious, screaming bloody murder the entire time. It’s going to be another memory that will have you up at night, crying and shaking when you remember his shrieking. This safe house you’re in has a fair amount of supplies and an excessive amount of alcohol. They use it to sanitize the wounds as best they can.

“You helped us escape. I’m not going to kill you,” Namjoon tells Minho, who sits on the floor, hands duct taped.

“I’m going to kill him!” Jungkook yells.

“No, you won’t,” Namjoon says, calming the youngest down. He turns to Minho. “What do you know about this place? Is there a pharmacy around.” He stays defiantly silent. “Minho!” The leader looks ready to kill, even after his promise not to.

“They won’t be anything left.”

“We have to try, let’s go. Get up!” He yanks the former bodyguard up.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Jungkook says to you. “I’ll look for something for you too,” he says, so softly. You just nod, worried if you were to open your mouth you might start wailing.

Jin is left with Jimin and Yoongi to take care of the two wounded members and you. “I’m so sorry,” you cry, holding onto Taehyung’s hand.

“This isn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself. You’ve saved me more times than I can remember, I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner,” he winces.

Jimin holds Taehyung’s other hand. “You’re going to get better, don’t worry, and then you’ll have a cool scar.” Jin and Yoongi are tending to Hoseok who thankfully hasn’t woken up from the pain yet. Yoongi brushes the hair out of Hoseok’s face, cleaning up the blood he finds on his skin. He’s meticulous and careful about it. Jin asks you if you want help cleaning the blood off you too. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Let him help you,” Jimin says.

“We can do it later, I don’t want to be…touched right now.” You mumble.

“Were you-”

“Don’t push her right now, Jin.” Jimin speaks up for you.

Jimin holds out his free hand to you, letting you take it if you want. You do. He makes you feel grounded and safe. And you feel small and weak and tired at the same time. You lie down next to Taehyung, bringing your knees into your body, you hug yourself into his side, crying.

Jimin mirrors your actions, resting for now. As long as he holds both your hands, and he can keep an eye on both of you, he can allow himself to relax and recover just for the moment.

Seokjin rubs his face, exhausted. Yet his body still feels wound up and anxious, he can’t relax just yet. He works to clean the space of death. He drags the bodies left inside and heaves them over the railing, creating a pile of corpses at the bottom, hoping it will become a deterrent for any other hostile strangers and then works to make food for when you all wake up, doing what he can to help. He tries to remain positive, he tells himself it could have been so much worse.

“There was no penicillin. Nothing, not even Tylenol.”

You wake up hearing Namjoon’s voice but keep your eyes closed as the men talk. “And Hoseok has a fever,” Yoongi says.

“I’ve searched this place from top to bottom, they have enough liquor to drown a regiment and no damn medicine,” Jin says.

You stand up on shaky legs. “ I know where we might find medicine.”

---

“Maybe they’re not there.”

“No, there’s a code for knocking, I don’t know it.”

“Hey, we know you’re in there. Please open the door. We need your help, please! We’ll give you anything.”

You hear the door click, and you see the weary faces of the group you left. You explain to them the situation, hoping they have some medicine to trade you or at least know where you might find some medicine. “I have something that could help.” The woman who isn’t Jinyoung holds up half a bottle of pills. “This is amoxicillin I found a while ago.”

“We’ll trade you anything for it.”

The woman thinks for a bit and finally decides. “Seokjin.”

“WHAT?!”

“Just for the night.”

“WHAT?!”

“Fine. yeah, I’ll do it.”

“Wait a fucking a minute, no!” Her boyfriend speaks up. “Honey, are you crazy?!” He turns to your group. “You have food, don’t you? Give us that instead.”

“And Seokjin!”

“Have you lost your mind?!”

“Honey, stay out of this?”

“You’re really going to cheat on me?”

“Oh please, don’t act like you have been soo faithful to me! Before our city was attacked you would come home past midnight almost every night!”

“I was with my coworkers!!”

“Yeah, with Eunji, right? That slut you worked with!!”

You turn to Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin while the couple continues to argue, saying “That’s not enough medicine for both of them…”

“It’s better than nothing.”

“There is a house four blocks from here. A pharmacist used to live there. There might the medicine you’re looking for there,” Jinyoung speaks up. “I c-can take you!” She says, her face turning red.

“Okay, Namjoon, you and Yoongi go with her, and I’ll stay here with y/n and…get the other medicine.”

“Seokjin, y-you don’t have to do this,” you say incredulously. Namjoon and Yoongi agree.

“Stop. Yes I do! If this can save them, I will.” Seokjin glares at the three of you, already making up his mind.

Seokjin looks so serious. He looks angry, yet determined. He is putting on a brave face, you want to cry for him. “Jin…”

“It’s okay, y/n.” He turns to the group. “Yeah, okay, deal. Food and me.”

“I’ll help you look for the medicine too,” Jinyoung’s boyfriend says, looking over at the idols wearily.

“Hey young lady, I have something for your eye.” The old man says. You sit waiting, once more, in this store, waiting for Namjoon and Yoongi to return, for Jin and that horrible women to be done with whatever she is doing to him upstairs, waiting and hoping Taehyung and Hoseok are okay.

“It’s alright.” You sit with your knees pulled in, much less in the mood to talk than before, sick to your stomach, body aching. The four of you were so beaten and bruised, it’s taken you a couple days to find this place again, what if you get back and it’s already too late?

“I don’t expect anything in return for it, it’s in good faith, I promise you.”

You start to cry, your head buried in your knees.

He sighs, puts his hands on his knees to stand up and moves towards you hesitantly. “Look up for me.” He puts on some antiseptic gel from a tube that looks almost empty, carefully applying the gel to the cuts and bruises around your eye.

“Thank you,” you mumble.

“I’m happy to help.”

Waiting for Seokjin to come downstairs feels like an eternity. The boyfriend sits in the corner away from you, completely dejected. You wish you had some kind words to give him, but you have nothing nice left to say, after everything you’ve went through.

Jin enters first, walking silently over to you and sitting down. The distance between you feels so far away. He’s clutching the bottle of pills so tightly the tips of his fingers are red.

You glare at the women when she finally comes downstairs. What the hell is wrong with her? How could she take advantage of the situation like that? How could she use Seokjin like that, what kind of fan is she?!

You move your body slightly so from where she’s sitting, now next to her miserable boyfriend, she can’t see Seokjin. You want to protect him from her. Just thinking about what she could have done to him makes you want to rip out her eyes, makes you think about what was done to you. She deserves the same fate as that man.

You haven’t looked at Jin. You know if you do, and see his expression, see your own self in his eyes, you might really try to kill her.

Namjoon and Yoongi come back looking accomplished and put you in hopeful spirits. You say goodbye one last time to the group. You hug Jinyoung, thanking her. Yoongi and Namjoon hug her goodbye too and she turns an even brighter shade of red, smiling happily and clutching a book to her chest, a medicinal plant book she found in the pharmacist's house that she shyly asked the rappers to sign when they were waking back to the store. They happily obliged, grateful because they found just what they were looking for thanks to her.

“Have you ever given someone a shot before?” you ask wearily.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Jin mumbles. The penicillin bottle has a few doses, so they decide to split it evenly amongst both members. The pills are being saved if they need more medicine.

Jungkook pulls you aside. “They found Tylenol for you and I found this if you need it.” He hands you a few Tylenol and another box of pills. You’ve never seen those Korean characters together. You ask him, “what is it?”

“It’s a pill to take if you, um, if you need it, if so, so they won’t be any pregnancies if you take it,” he stutters.

You nod, taking the Tylenol and pocketing the pills and glancing over to Jin who seems to be diligently looking over Taehyung and Hoseok, a hard frown etched across his face.

“I’m ready for help, if you want to help me. I can ask Namjoon, if you’re not feeling up to it anymore,” you ask Jin. Jin stands up, happy to do something to take his mind off things.

You didn’t want to go into any of the rooms on the top floor, so you and Seokjin walk quietly one flight down.

This office space looks like it used to be full of computers, there’s electrical pieces littered around the floor like someone came and used each one for target practice. You both sit in two beaten up office chairs. “I’ve never bathed myself with alcohol before,” you mutter, bemused. Pulling off your jacket. You notice there’s already bruises forming on your arms.

Seokjin works to clean off the dried blood from your neck where the knife was pressed. “I’m sorry,” Seokjin says, looking over the bruises.

“I’m sorry too,” you say, trying to catch his eyes, but he won’t look up. “I wish I could take a shower, wash everything away.”

“Yeah,” Seokjin agrees. His eyes start to water, worrying you.

“Do you want a hug?” You ask. He nods. The plastic pieces crunch under your shoes as you move closer, hugging him gently, letting him decide if he wants more. He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly and you bite your tongue to keep yourself from yelping when he touches a bruise on your back. He pulls you into his lap. You feel safe and held together in his embrace. And Seokjin feels the chaos inside him finally settling.

You were both taken advantage of differently, but in that moment it didn’t matter, you both felt the same kind of anger and injustice, for yourselves, and for one another. And in that moment you both just wanted to be held by someone you loved, hoping to erase the touches left by those before.

You watch Jin break down the door to the break room inside this office. It only takes him three hits with his shoulder. You rush forward, your knife raised, worried you’ll find a monster inside. No monsters, only-“No way.”

“That’s a lot of ramen.”

You and Jin look at each other smiling. There’s enough snacks for days! This discovery might not equal all the pain you’ve both endured, but it was a nice shift, it only takes the slightest push to turn things around. Jin is smiling again now and that is worth celebrating. You make a silent promise to yourself that you’ll bring some to Jinyoung and the old man before leaving Hongcheon. Goodness still needs to be rewarded. Happiness still needs to be celebrated.

---

Looks like Taehyung and Hoseok are in the bottom of the poll. I decided readers will have more input into the story this way. Yoongi seems like a fan favorite (for now) so I hope you enjoyed his relationship progression with y/n, and poor Taehyung and Hoseok, well, I’ll let readers decide, what might happen next chapter? Go vote!

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts zombie au #ot7 x reader #bts x reader #namjoon smut #bts apocalypse au #bts fantasy au #bts crack au #bts slow burn

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