#but Thorn is funnier

[brainworms-all-night-long]

I put way too much effort into a stupid meme and now im burnt out ough-

#sonic prime #lord help this was once again as always funnier in my head #the boi is gonna have a line of people who have a problem with hin in one way or another #theres also a lot of red as Ive noticed #i did not bother to get the shape of the shards right yiu have to forgive me- #knuckles the dread #rebel rouge #shadow the hedgehog #renegade knucks #thorn rose #rusty rose #nine the fox #miles nine prower #mah art #me does arts #littol doodl #but its crossing the line kinda #sonic shitpost #also just realized I drew his gloves wrong fffffff

[tvckerwash]

you know a trait I wish we would've gotten to see more of post recollection is Sneaky BastardTM wash who has a plan on top of the real plan and he doesn't tell anyone about said real plan until the last possible second, essentially forcing those around him to participate against their will in one way or another. get moved around like pawns on a chess board idiots.

#i know the sniper trail scene on chorus sort of counts towards the above but it's just not the same you know?? not enough bastard energy #also point number 1536537864 wash would've been peak felix foil. manipulative snakes they are #WHY do i sound like yoda in that last tag lmao #anyway wash and the counselor playing 5d chess AGAIN would've been so funny. one (1) man continues to be a constant thorn in price's side #actually even funnier would be wash and price playing 5d chess on the same side w/o either of them knowing #they both took one look at locus and were like 'we can use him for our plans and maybe it'll fix him as a bonus' #rvb #red vs blue #agent washington #mine #not t/oaru #sorry restoration posting is over I'm back to my regularly scheduled wash posting #edit: realized i had chest instead of chess so i fixed that lols

[mirror-ralsei]

PREDICTIONS: Ralsei

or, why this pile of rock is going to tear my heart out

Ralsei is a Titan.

"The unending pillar of darkness that gives my body form" dedication in Ralsei's manual matches Ralsei's description of Titans "tak[ing] form from the FOUNTAINS"

Ralsei's body completely disappears when downed

Ralsei was first completely shadowy and amorphous within his hooded cloak, then a bit more defined but still shadowy under his hat, before finally settling on a more visible form at the end of Chapter 1

Just before removing his hat, for a couple of frames Ralsei's sprite changes his paw color from black to white. As well, where Ralsei previously had black paws in various animations such as clapping or spell use, they are now white in Chapter 2. These suggest that Ralsei's shadowy appearance is not simply caused by the shade from his hat.

Ralsei's initial description is a somewhat ambiguous "Dark-World being"

Unlike normal Darkners, Ralsei does not turn to stone and can seemingly teleport between Dark Worlds at will

Ralsei is the sole denizen of Castle Town, an area seemingly abandoned or evacuated, where Titan-like eye marks and darkness covers the land

Ralsei knows a lot about the Roaring

"Do not be alarmed... I am not your enemy." is one of Ralsei's first words to Kris and Susie

Ralsei wants to redeem himself for participating in the last Roaring by stopping it from happening again.

Again: Ralsei is the sole denizen of Castle Town, an area seemingly abandoned or evacuated, where Titan-like eye marks and darkness covers the land

Ralsei’s portrait/sprite when talking about the Roaring seems haunted

Ralsei says “I...I’m sorry!!! I repent!!!” in the generally foreshadowy Poppup dialogue

However, Ralsei is an unwitting pawn in a greater villain's scheme.

Ralsei is characterized as overly keen to follow orders.

Poppup dialogue: “Ralsei moved to click on an ad with a bunny on it teaching you how to make friends... ...and accidentally clicked on an ad of a machine gun that appeared over it!” / “Ralsei tried to click on an ad with a castle on it... ...but it was actually an ad for a company that demolishes buildings with bazookas!”

Again: Poppup dialogue: “I... I didn’t mean to do it... I... I’m sorry!!! I repent!!!”

In order to fix his mistakes or save the world, Ralsei may sacrifice himself, perhaps becoming the Waterfall statue in Undertale.

Undyne states "That statue's been here forever... No one knows where it came from." This description seems similar to Gerson's explanation of the Delta Rune: "That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time..."

The statue is greyscale and cracked, like Darkners such as Lancer when turned to stone

The statue has horns, like Ralsei (note that the direction of Ralsei's horns varies across sprites/portraits and concept art, sometimes being turned inward and other times outward)

The statue is associated with the song "Memory," which is associated with Asriel, who appears connected to Ralsei

The statue in Waterfall may have been part of the original Royal Memorial Fountain before Mettaton's statue replaced it

If so: Ralsei is associated with all three concepts of a "Royal Memorial Fountain," being a prince who is made from a Dark Fountain and, as "memory" is a prevalent theme in Deltarune and Ralsei sings its "Don't Forget" motif in battle, with remembrance as well

Other things:

Ralsei appears self-aware in the same way as Jevil and others.

"(SAVE and take a break anytime you want, OK?)"

"Even if it's not real, you can still have fun, right?"

"It seems like it was just a corrupted program."

There may be multiple "Ralsei"s in some way.

“They [two Ralsei plushes] are both correct. Both beautiful.” (Toby Fox on Ch 1 Livestream)

“Every Ralsei is equally beautiful.” (Toby Fox on Ch 1 Livestream)

“I just wonder what... being “Ralsei-like” even is...?”

Unknown: why does Queen not notice Ralsei?

“How Thoughtful You Two Have Come To Help Me / Kris, Susie / Which One Of You Wants To Be The New Knight”

“Hey Was There A Third Guy?????????”

“I Will Miss Each Of You / Noelle, Your Un-needed Honesty / Susie, Your Foolish Bravery / Kris, Your Chill Vibes / ... / B...Burghley?”

Unknown: why does Ralsei (seemingly) know about the ThornRing?

"..." if given

(screenshots: 1 2)

DISCLAIMER: this is a predictions post, just laying out the predictions that i have currently and my personal reasoning. eg. i am by no means the first or only person to consider titan ralsei rofl

#deltarune theory #ralsei deltarune #utdr theory #ralsei #deltarune #this is just me putting my chips down i can be wrong super hard #this is more for the express purposes of flipping a lid if i turn out to be right actually #<- mission statement of this blog. if im wrong it will be funny if im right it will be funnier #anyway the statue stuff is wishful thinking but i do genuinely feel ralsei will be an antagonist but not evil. hes just easy to manipulate #and im getting tragic ending vibes off him but it could just be setting up a subversion since we already went there with asriel #...oh also this wasn't clear but if the statue is ralsei i'd assume he gets statuefied from being cut off from deltarune entirely #since he seems immune to normal causes of statuefication. but being in an entirely different game could qualify as 'not fitting' #i like to think maybe he would stay behind in undertale or something knowing his fate for some heroic sacrifice but i have no idea lol #ETA forgot about the thorn ring

[ultrabooob]

wishing i was a good writer bc then i’d just write stuff about joker out on various uk daytime tv and britcom shows

#imagine joker out come dine with me #idk if it would be funnier if they’d do it all together #or if it was 1 member for a different region and it would be like jan cooking for 4 strangers #taskmaster is a given #put them on gogglebox ….. bojan w rylan #i need them all to have their own episode of wilty #i feel like bob mortimer and jure would have good banter #mastermind too pls #again asking for bojan on qi #joker out jeremy kyle episode and it’s about nace cheating on jan w kris #fuck it make them guest ghosts in ghosts #ghost bojan vs thomas thorne #jan vs kris on cats do countdown #joker out #britcom #i’m having too much fun #i’m quarantining and therefore forced to be online

[cheese-water]

found the perfect image to describe my migraines to my doctor

#it’s jesus after his crucifixion fishing with jaiden animations #I misremembered it as a crown of thorns but this is way funnier #And it’s accurate #jaiden animations #jaiden vs christianity #2-0 #art done by jaiden herself #migraine #headaches #headache #chronic pain #blood #gore #it’s mspaint so it’s not that bad but just to be safe #jschlatt #qsmp

[ufonaut]

okay i’m still sobbing crying losing my entire mind about alan’s entry in the book of pride what the hell was he doing giving jimmy a ring in 1939. i know they combined his actual story with the new 52 one but the height of insanity this has reached........ i will now explode

#IM ALSO LAUGHING ABOUT HOW HE DIDNT MARRY MOLLY AT ALL ANYMORE APPARENTLY?? JUST THORN???????????? #hes twice divorced to me but this is 100x funnier #NO RISK OF MICHAEL EITHER #personal

[archesa]

Scenes I have to get out of my system so they don't parasite my writing

Mordremoth, taunting Trahearne that he could never have the Commander because of how much his body changed under its influence (ie his size)

Commander :

#slightly suggestive #not safe for saplings! #it was probably much funnier in my head but #the idea wouldn't leave me alone 🤣 #(if I must suffer so must you 🤣) #i made this commander neutral for everyone's benefit 😏 #size kink #(I'm not saying Anwen is discovering a few things about herself in next chapter but... 😏😅) #trammander #trahearne #heart of thorns spoilers #hot spoilers #post hot spoilers #trying to make anends for the psychological damage I caused yesterday with my heart and mind post #(by dealing even more psychological damage 🤣) #gentle reminder that post HoT Trahearne is about 12' tall #post mordremoth trahearne is tol #it's called HoT because Trahearne is 12' tall #it's called Hot because Trahearne

[goddess-of-eyes]

I love how Iron Thorns is more or less a statue this bitch don't move at ALL and I love him

#paradox pokemon #iron thorns #look its just really really funny to me #he's just standing asserting dominance 24/7 #plus the fact that it's a reference to mecha tyranitar just makes iron thorns' implications even funnier #the dude is probably a fucking movie prop #he only moves when he's designated to #it'd make sense why he's weaker than OG tyranitar too this mf ain't build for combat he built for da MOVIES

[menacethorn]

So!!!! The voice of an angel whispered in my ear and I came with this idea: characters from sorcery of thorns on the universe of Paranormal Order

First of all, what's Paranormal Order? to those who don't know, it's a rpg created by cellbit (a famous brazilian streamer), with 4 principal seasons (iniciação, o segredo na floresta, desconjuração e calamidade) and 2 spin-offs (o segredo na ilha e sinais do outro lado), about agents from a secret organization that fights with the paranormal that leaked from the Other Side. With being an agent, you can choose to be a specialist, a combatent/fighter (i don't know the official translation) or an occultist, and later, your own element (blood, death, knowledge and energy/chaos)

With the basics of the basics explained, I'll show my opinion (that is probably unique since the brazilian fandom of sorcery of thorns is composed by 5 people)

Elisabeth – I can see her either as a combatent/fighter or as a specialist. Fighter because she's really good when fighting with demonslayer, or fighting in general, and specialist 'cause she's very smart; her element, however, is really clear to me: knowledge

Nathaniel – he's clearly an occultist, because he's a sorcerer in the book, but his element is unclear: death, because that's the kind of magic his family "owns" and is associated with or blood 'cause he's flirty and all that stuff. Even chaos is considered as an option since he gets caught up in the most random problems. If he's chaos, there would be a cute detail that Elisabeth, being of knowledge, would be his weakness, since "the lull of knowledge surpasses the anarchy of energy", if I remember correctly

Silas – I guess his case is the same as Elisabeth in class, since he fits both fighter and specialist, even though I prefer him as a fighter, since if he teamed up with Elisabeth and Nathaniel, each would be a different class, and depending, different element too; his element would be death or even blood, but I guess death suits him more. If he's blood, he would be Nathaniel weakness (i won't remember the phrase for it, sorry), but if he's death and Nathaniel blood, it would be the other way around. But if Silas is death and Nathaniel chaos, I guess it would be the same if they're death and blood

Lorelei – blood occultist, without hesitation

Ashcroft – knowledge occultist, without hesitation pt. 2

Katrien – energy specialist, without hesitation pt. 3

That's what I can offer for today, bye bye and kisses 😚😚

#headcanon #sorcery of thorns #sorcery of thorns headcanon #in order of appearance!! #elisabeth scrivener #nathaniel thorn #sorcery of thorns silas #sorcery of thorns lorelei #oberon ashcroft #katrien quillworthy #ordem paranormal #ordem paranornormal headcanon #ordem paranornormal au #does it count as an au? #i dont know #it's funnier not knowing ig #the tags are kind of prejudiced with ashcroft #he simply don't appear on them #that's kinda funny

[royalreef]

       Meanwhile, she is still waiting for some dashing knight to come by, her true love, to sweep her off her feet and take her away and save her!! To go someplace far, far away where she can live happily forevermore! Someone has to still be holding out for a hero, and Miranda is all too happy to fit that bill.

#Glory and Gore || IC #The rumor mill || Dash Commentary #(( PRINCESS SEEKING DASHING KNIGHT TO SAVE HER FROM HER TOWER. ABILITY TO SLAY DRAGONS NOT OPTIONAL. #(( fuck i still have so many thoughts about miri's knight fantasies #(( namely. yeah sure fucking would be apt that someone who feels like she has no control over her situation and nothing she can do #(( would want someone who loves her regardless and doesnt care about the hard and awful details #(( and will some and take her away and it doesnt matter if she cant save herself because they'll be there for her every time #(( but also in terms of #(( miranda and how she's. the princess and the dragon. #(( how much miranda fantasies about this because ironically she believes herself already tainted and impure #(( that Something Isn't Right with her and she's a failure and a disappointment #(( that she's not the perfect prize that the princess in the tower should be #(( how this makes her want a knight to save her all the more #(( she's a princess under a curse of everlasting sleep. all the good parts of her are hidden away where even she cant see them or touch them #(( all the good parts are nearly dead and all that's left are thorns and scales and flames and a cold body barely breathing #(( and she wants that to be true. she wants someone who can wake up that part of her. someone who can end this nightmare. #(( she is very desperate and very scared and wants beyond a shadow of a doubt for hope. any hope. #(( she doesnt deserve a knight and goodness but she does want a knight and goodness and she doesnt deserve love but she wants love #(( this is even funnier (in a painful way) #(( because miranda will. push away muses that feel ''too good'' for her #(( because she doesnt feel like they understand the danger at hand nor understand HER #(( but she still has to believe in the knight. everything is lost if she doesnt believe a knight is coming for her #(( she just wants to go home but the only home she knows is this tower #(( anyhow GIVE MIRI MORE KNIGHT-THEMED MUSES TO INTERACT WITH

[dreaming-for-an-escape]

I am making the Tyrell siblings way too funny in this chapter.

“He smelt of cabbage.”

“How does one smell of cabbage?”

#blood and thorns #this chapter is turning out to be funnier than expected #game of thrones #oc

[dykeminecraft]

love taking uquizzes & simultaneously surprised & not at all about the results. what gave it away, boss

#thorn post #& it's even funnier when you consider i wasn't really paying attention for half the quiz. yeah i would get that result huh #(please note i wasn't actively intending to not pay attention. it was one of those situations)

[phoenixkaptain]

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

#luke skywalker #star wars #anakin skywalker #sheev palpatine #darth sidious #original trilogy #the inane ramblings of a madman #listen i recognize that other people are important in the plot of sw #but at the same time #luke is the marble that gets things rolling #just in general #luke is the reason obi wan eventually actually kills maul #luke somehow gave yoda hope that another generation of jedi was an achievable goal #luke saved leia from being executed #luke is the sun of the series #it’s from him that literally everything grows #the story that began this universe #is one of a boy becoming an adult #and so without luke skywalker #none of the characters would exist #thus luke is the sun and we should all bask in the rays #but also in how funny it is #that this guy was more of a pain than obi wan kenobi #a feat previously thought impossible #long post

[dotster001]

Can I request overblot crew + malmal (idk if he's gonna be the one who does it so) w a mc who has the uncontrollable impulse to just. Touch things they deem pretty/cute/whatever? Like malmals horns, leonas ears and tail, idias hair, jamils little coin things in his hair, vils crown, etc?

Or funnier, things they're supposed to not touch bc common sense? Like the boiling hot liquid in the alchemy cauldron, the fireplace, broken glass, basically anything someone would have to rip their hands away from lol

A/N: I did a mix of things. As someone who wants to put dungeons and dragons dice right into my mouth, I had a lot of fun with this one 😂 I want to put my hands in jamil and Azul's hair so bad 😭

CW: injury in Azul and Idia's parts, self inflicted, cause obviously 😂

3k follower masterlist

No one was allowed to touch the roses. Well, no one but you. You like to run your fingers on the petals, tracing any visible veins, touching paint spots, and booping him on the nose if the rose hasn't dried yet.

So sweet, so soft, so innocent. He only wished that…

"Fuck!"

No matter how many times he reminded you not to, you always poked the thorns.

"Y/N," he said sternly, "the entire point of thorns on roses is that they hurt.  They are intended to protect the rose!"

"But if not for touch, why touch shaped?" You pouted.

"Sorry?"

You sighed, and stared at the rose with a sharp glare, before turning back to him with a mischievous grin. 

"If I can't play with the roses, can I play with your scepter staff thing?"

He should have known. You'd been asking to "play with it" for weeks now. And every time he'd clutched it tighter, and taken a step back. He loved you! But he didn't trust whatever it was you wanted to do with his staff.

"Please, my rose?" You gently traced the collar of his dorm uniform, pressing your free hand to his chest and  giving him the sweetest puppy dog eyes.

He sighed, and placed his scepter in your hand, and was given immediate whiplash as you started swinging it through the air like a baseball bat.

"What are you doing?!?"

"Fighting crime!"

He felt a ticklish feeling in his half awake state. Assuming it was a fly of some sort, he flicked his ears, and attempted to drift back off. But the ticklish feeling was insistent. He opened one eye to see you scratching his ears. He groaned. He should have known. This was a common occurrence.

"Oy, Herbivore!"

Your eyes widened, and flickered to his.

"Oh! You're awake!"

"Yeah, cause there's a fly buzzing by my ear."

You looked down at your hands then pulled them away.

"Oh, sorry."

You reached out to fiddle with one of his braids, your fingers doing what he could only describe as kneading the plaits.

He gripped your wrist, and pulled you down to his level, pressing you into his chest.

"If you're gonna mess with my hair, then, quid pro quo, you should expect there to be a price."

You nuzzled into his chest and nodded, your hand snaking back into his hair as he drifted off to your gentle fingers.

This was exactly why he had the Leech twins watch you. You always complained you didn't need a babysitter, but when left to your own devices…

"As your partner, I shouldn't have to sign a contract or pay a price for a healing potion!" You cried, clutching your burnt hand.

What had you done?

You'd touched a stove seconds after the burner was turned off.

Call it stupid curiosity.

"If there's no price, how can I ensure you won't keep making these decisions!" Azul cried, finishing the final touches of the contract he was writing.

"Decision implies I thought about it. I can't stress enough that there was no thought involved."

He glared at you, before pushing the contract over to you.

"Sign it, and I'll fix your hand."

"My hand hurts too much," you whined.

"Your non-dominant hand is the one you burned. Sign it."

You looked at the fine print before grimacing.

"This says I can't touch anything if it's an impulse touch. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"That means I can't just touch your hair anymore? I can't just come up and kiss you anymore?"

Azul groaned a massaged his temples. 

"This is a punishment. You get those privileges back in two weeks. Sign the damn contract."

You intended to glare at him, but a wave of pain hit your hand and you quickly signed it in shaky script.

"There," he pulled out a potion and gently took your hand. "Hopefully you learn something."

"I probably won't," you muttered bitterly.

"I know," he lamented.

His heart couldn't handle it. Even asking you out had nearly sent him into the recesses of his hood for eternity. 

But ever since then, whenever you got the chance, your hands were in his hair. Usually playing with the gold medallions in his hair. But if he happened to have worn his hair down that day….oh sevens.

You'd somehow snuck up on him, and snuck your way into his lap, cupping his face and running your hands through his hair.

You were technically looking at his face, but he knew you weren't actually seeing him. You were seeing his hair.

"Y/N," he muttered, feeling his face burn, "I have to finish this homework."

"Mhmm," you muttered, as dazed as if he'd charmed you.

"Y/N!" He whines, unable to stop himself from leaning into your touch, just a little.

"Mhmm," you hummed, before unexpectedly pressing his face to your chest to allow yourself more space to play with his long hair.

He thought about speaking up. But you couldn't see his increasingly flustered expression with his face pressed to your chest. And you were warm and comforting. And your hands in his hair didn't feel too bad. Maybe he could indulge. Just for a moment.

Crash

Vil groaned, and left the bathroom he'd been doing his makeup in, watching you stare at a shattered bottle. Was it potion, perfume, or lotion? Even you probably didn't know. You just saw a shiny, pretty bottle, and had to touch.

"I'll pay for it!" You shouted, eyes wide with fear.

He sighed, flicked his pen at the broom he'd bought not long after dating you, and watched as it magically swept up the pink shards and goop on the floor.

He then half heartedly glared at you, lazily pointing his pen in your direction.

"Don't touch another one."

You aggressively nodded, and he returned to the bathroom to finish his look.

Ten minutes later, he heard it.

Crash

He covered his mouth to hide his quiet laughter. He truly couldn't leave you alone for ten minutes. It was endearing truly. He heard the broom fall as you, he assumed, hastily moved to sweep it up, and he couldn't hold back anymore, allowing himself to release a full, joyous laugh.

"Hold that," Idia said excitedly as he passed you the scissors he'd just been using. His new game system was here! And he'd bundled it so that it came with Star Rogue 2, which had only just come out! 

He slowly pulled it out of the box, holding his breath from excitement, and,

"Fuck!" 

He turned to look at you, and your thumb was in your mouth.

"What's wrong?" 

You pulled your thumb out, showing a cut on the finger pad. 

"Ortho!" Idia called in a panic, holding your hand and staring at the cut. In his panic, he stuck your thumb in his own mouth.

"Ew, Idia," you said, face full of disgust at your boyfriend's spit on your hand.

Ortho came over before he could respond, and pulled your hand from Idia's mouth. He immediately got to work on the cut, seeming to have been aware of the problem immediately.

"How did you do this?" Idia asked, rocking back and forth to get rid of his nervous energy.

You looked up at Ortho, then back at Idia, then back to Ortho.

"I'm embarrassed to say it when Ortho is here. He'll just give me a speech."

"I only give speeches when you need them!" Ortho said defensively.

"Which is everytime," you muttered bitterly.

"Y/N, please, I'm scared. Tell me what happened!" Idia cried, beginning to pace as Ortho wrapped a bandage around your thumb.

You stared at the floor. "Well, you handed me the scissors, and I was curious how sharp they are, so…"

Idia groaned, and Ortho immediately began his speech about scissors.

Malleus knew he was tall, especially compared to humans. So he'd never thought much about how insistently stared up at him, eyes full of expectation.

It wasn't until he watched your cat creature's eyes do the same thing as he tied a shoelace, one day, that he realized that you wanted something. And it wasn't hard to figure out what it was.

"Are you looking at my horns? If you're so curious, you can touch them freely. But only if you are ready to see what will happen afterwards."

Little did he know that he had stumbled upon a rare breed of human, one that was unafraid of him, but to an unrealistic extent.

It was visible today, while you were on a walk together, and then you stopped walking. He paused to look back at you, but it was too late. You were climbing his body like a koala, all to reach his horns.

"If you simply asked me, I would let you touch them."

"So shiny! Must touch!"

He laughed lightly as you reached his horns, and heard you attempt to knock against them. They didn't have feeling, but he could guess from previous times this had happened that you were poking the points with a finger and running your hands up and down them.

He felt a pull on his head as your lower half lost its grip, and you helplessly dangled while holding his horns.

"Oh, my silly child of man," he laughed. "What am I going to do with you?" He flicked his pen and helped you float down, then turned to you. You were sitting in the grass and pouting.

"I wasn't done," you muttered.

He knelt in the grass with you, then lay his head on your lap, laughing again as you excitedly traced his horns, allowing himself to relax under your care.

#3k followers #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia

[heytherecentaurs]

Burrow's End is an absolute masterpiece.

In the span of ten episodes Aabria and Co. weave an exciting and emotional adventure story about a family of sentient stoats. It delivers huge laughs, interesting societal criticism, remarkably emotional and well-acted scenes and concludes with a series of epilogue scenes that feel appropriate for each character, some heartfelt and subdued and others bigger than life and all the funnier for it.

Siobhan and Izzy play the perfect pair of siblings. They fight and argue but they also love each other. Jaysohn (Siobhan) looks up to Lila (Izzy) and believes she's the smartest stoat in the world (and by the end she probably is) and Lila hypes up her little brother's athletic skills. They both fully embodied these kids and I could watch them do fun stuff for more episodes. Give me a version of Saved by the Bell with them. Stoat by the Bell.

Brennan and Rashawn, playing sisters, also knock it outta the park, showing a more mature sibling dynamic. Brennan portrays Tula as the quintessential overtired single mother of excitable kids, and Rashawn as younger sister Viola straddles a very interesting line of being intimidating to outsiders but very much more naive and looking to her older sister when she starts a family.

Jasper as Thorn, a guy everyone just lets be a cult leader because he really wanted to, is fantastic. His is a difficult role as the only non-blood relative. Jasper plays Thorn with such real humanity of a guy in over his head and letting his ambition wife call the shots, but also one who agrees with her goal, really loves her and has moments of real menace. He has some very funny scenes, his big speech is perfect, and I just enjoy him.

Erika is wonderful. They play the epitome of generational trauma as many have said but as much trauma as Ava has, she is also loving and willing to learn. The fact Erika took this adversarial role is incredible. The tense dramatic scene primarily between Ava, Tula and Viola is amazing. They act their asses off and make hard choices that I imagine are difficult even for such an experienced player.

Aabria's DMing always feels fun. She doesn't get bogged down in the rules. She knows them. She plays by them. But as a master, she knows how and when to break them too. Her seasons on Dimension 20 have all had a tenseness, a particular edge to them that can give me anxiety during dramatic scenes between two characters. It always feel like one of her NPCs may say something devastating and the tension between characters reaches really thrilling heights. This is present in other seasons, but I don't think anyone does it as well as she does. The first season of hers to have battle maps, Aabria really swung for the fences and gave us some of the wildest maps to date.

Shout out to Carlos Luna's voice acting. He did an incredible job. And shout out to the whole crew who have put together one of the best seasons of D20. They keep finding ways to build on what's come before and they should be commended for it.

Dimension 20 is most successful when the concept is very streamlined. They don't do huge 100 episode campaigns capable of handling huge winding complex narrative, but short focused D&D stories, which is why many of the Side Quests have been so fantastic. They embody this philosophy most clearly, but it's apparent in the most beloved Intrepid Heroes seasons as well—John Hughes/High Fantasy, Game of Thrones/Candyland, Retrofuturism, Film Noir but in a Brain... Burrow's End fits this perfectly. It's streamlined concept paired with great storytellers and great chemistry sets it up to be a smash hit before it begins. And goddamn does it deliver.

Thanks Stupendous Stoats!

#dimension 20 #d20 #burrow's end #aabria iyengar #brennan lee mulligan #izzy roland #isabella roland #erika ishii #siobhan thompson #jasper william cartwright #rashawn scott #rashawn nadine scott #carlos luna #dropout.tv #hey there centaurs

[jeyneofpoole]

nothing is funnier than alliser thorne to me like he had sooooo much beef with this 14 y/o emo loser as a grown ass man. jon made one (1) joke about his DOG and thorne was like ohhhhh he has to die. he really said i want that twink obliterated 🙏 no thoughts no prayers just violence. me and this eighth grader are mortal enemies. very well adjusted! good job!

#if you can’t tell i’m embarking upon a reread #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf shitpost #jon snow #alliser thorne #agot reread #agot