#but considering how angry people are getting to the point of doxxing other people i wouldn't be surprised of people doing this

[nirogryphon]

Someone is about to commit splatoon 9/11 tomorrow on the splatsville tower because their idol lost to shiver fucking again

#egspeak #9/11 #IM JOKING OBVIOUSLY #but considering how angry people are getting to the point of doxxing other people i wouldn't be surprised of people doing this

[justapigeonn]

DOTC REWRITE/AU

Ok so I know I said I'd never do an actual rewrite for DOTC but after some thinking I honestly couldn't help myself so here;s a megadump of some of the changes I'd make:

Turtle Tail and Bumble would escape the twoleg house together after she becomes pregnant and Tom shows his ugly side

2. Gray Wing actually realises he was the reason Turtle Tail left in the first place and apologises for being a twat

3. With Turtle tail's help, Bumble convinces the moor cats to let her stay, but she soon discovers that she's not cut out for their way of life so Turtle Tail takes her to River Ripple to live with him and his colony and she becomes a seasoned river dwelling cat. She ends up living a long, peaceful, happy life and she and Turtle tail visit each other regularly

4. Tom eventually shows up to demand Turtle Tail's kits. He ends up finding the hollow by actually scenting them out as opposed to Gray Wing doxing them out of sheer stupidity and attempts to sneak into camp and take them, but Turtle Tail intercepts him and kills him where he stands

5. This is a big one that may spark controversy but SkyClan does not exist and Clear Sky never gets to be leader. He proves time and time again even after the battle that he is not worthy of being one, let alone a FOUNDER by any stretch of the imagination. He continuously demonstrates irresponsibility, is unnecessarily controlling and cruel, even to the cats he's supposed to care about and only seems to get his shit together in the very last book, long after he should have 'learned his lesson'. He never changed and should never have been given the countless chances to redeem himself. Instead, after the battle he is stripped of his leadership role by StarClan and the other founders and the forest cats fall under Thunder's authority instead, who leaves the moor after the battle to be where he truly wants to be. Clear Sky is allowed to join his ranks but he does so with the utmost resentment and bitterness. When One Eye and Star Flower enter the scene, One Eye takes advantage of his hatred and convinces Clear Sky to spy on and betray Thunder's group with the promise of him joining his rogue group and earning a position of power by his side and Clear Sky accepts (you have full permission to interpret this as gay) while Star Flower grows close to Thunder as she does in canon, manipulating him from the side line. At some point along the line Clear Sky outs himself and Star Flower and he joins One Eye's group before having a change of heart while Star Flower has her own redemption and blah blah blah still working on it). Clear Sky realises that being a meanie head ain't it, turns against One Eye and his rogues and supports his son wholeheartedly etc. At some stage during the final battle Clear Sky is killed by one of One Eye's close supporters as a final sacrifice/attempt to redeem himself, though I'm not keen on giving him a particularly heroic death considering how angry Tom's canon death made me so I figured it would be funny of the other settlers were like 'ohh noooo, anyways' with a couple of solemn words as opposed to a whole grievingfest. As for my reasoning for omitting SkyClan completely, half of it is due to the fact that it's basically just defacto ThunderClan except for the fact that they can jump high and hunt in trees, which are easily things ThunderClan can adopt. Firestar's quest and the latter half of AVOS can just not happen which I'm sure not many people will complain about

6. Gray Wing is not a Clear Sky apologist loser and actually resents him for all the grief he has caused

7. Rather than his own big bad, Slash is rather one of One Eye's devoted followers. One ruthless manipulative rogue leader would have been quite enough to serve as the arc's main antagonist for the latter half of it's duration, with better writing they could've spread it out and and left a true impact. Considering have him kill Clear Sky in the heat of the final battle maybe as opposed to giving his slaughter to One Eye

8. Fern and and a few of the other various mistreated rogues still exist, but this time under One Eye's command. She still ends up working with Gray Wing and joining the moor cats along with some of her friends after betraying One Eye

9. Star Flower never becomes Clear Sky's third mate or is reduced to a stock sweet baby mama where her getting kidnapped, abused then giving birth in an inconvenient place is introduced as a form of conflict, but rather reconciles with Thunder and builds on the previous connection they had already established (which would be stronger in my au). He eventually forgives her and they bond over the fact that they have manic shitty bloodthirsty fathers plotting against them and team up to be their foil, eventually becoming mates at the end of the arc.

10. Slate and Violet Dawn do not exist. This isn't because I don't like them as characters but imo never existing in the first place is a far better fate than being last minute underdeveloped love interests for the male protagonists with no other function in the story whatsoever

11. Quiet Rain is not guilted into forgiving Clear Sky for the atrocities he committed on her deathbed by Shaded Moss (who had no business doing so considering the fact that he wasn't a victim of his and she was particularly angry at the fact that he has killed Rainswept Flower who seemingly didn't get a say in the matter)

This was super lengthy and I ended up adding way more than I expected but I do hope to expand on them in the future. There are other things I have issues with such as the way Gray Wing treats Jagged Peak in numerous scenes as well as the overall ableism of the arc but this is all for now :3

#warrior cats #warriors #wc #dotc #dawn of the clans #clear sky #turtle tail #bumble #thunder #thunderstar #one eye #star flower #violet dawn #slate #gray wing #river ripple #slash #jagged peak

[zeroducks-2]

Freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences. Anti-censorship but we still don’t want to platform bigots 🫤 Coming from a neutral party, I think you could learn a lot from listening to all perspectives to avoid echo chambers. Form your own opinion instead of following a crowd. My opinion? Hate the person, not the ship. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but that is what the book cover is made for. I think it’s healthier if you and everyone else stopped trying to be antagonistic? How are you supposed to spread positivity if you’re always on the verge of angry ranting?

Okay I'm going to try and answer for the sake of the people who might read this kind of bs in their inboxes and be affected negatively by it, and maybe even feel like they're being unfair towards the very bullies which spend their energies harassing and insulting (and sometimes also doxxing and suicide bating) us.

Let's break this down.

1. "freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences" I can't even talk about some dark themes in fiction or my own personal history of real life abuse without getting termed here. Erotic art can't be posted almost anywhere at this point, and not just the kind antis dislike. Freedom is a construct on social media because ultimately these spaces are owned by someone, and you'll be kicked out if they don't like you.

2 "we don't want to platform bigots" no, absolutely we don't. Historically, giving a platform to bigots and hatemongers fosters hate, violence and censorship. Also I have no power to platform or deplatform anyone, I'm just a guy on tumblr, so I don't even know what you're on about with this. If I had the power to decide, trust me that I would kick the terfs the fuck out of here anyways. And also the cowards who hide under the anon cover to send hate and threats.

3 "listen to perspectives and avoid echo chambers" I'm over 30 and I've been a kinkster for most of my life. I'm queer. Among other things, history and queer history are in my field of studies. I didn't form my opinion here, I came here with one already. I listened to all the perspectives you might think of also because I was here when the rise of censorship and puritanism happened, and by the way you know who got deplatformed? The kinkster and the artists, surely not the bigots. I don't think I've ever seen an instance of an anti being blocked or termed for harassment, whereas blogs get blocked every day for having NSFW content.

4 "form your own opinion instead of following a crowd" again, do you really think I existed as a blank slate before creating this blog?

5 "my opinion is(...)" You sound like a Christian preacher and it gives me the heebiejeebies.

6 "it's healthier if you stopped trying to be antagonistic" sweetheart, we are being bullied every day. If you're someone who creates erotic art of any kind you're subjected to a ton of harassment, and if you create something which could be considered problematic, you get death threats. Suibating. Insults lathered with misogyny, transphobia, queerphobia, you get treated like a freak of nature and threatened to have your livelihood taken away. Or threats of doxxing and of deplatforming. And you might very well get your blog shut down. I'm going to stop being antagonistic when I'll stop being antagonized, and if you think that said bullying is justified and I should just suck it up - and I say this in the most antagonistic way possible - fuck off. Not one single ship or one single fictional character is worth the harassment of another human being.

7 "how are you supposed to spread positivity of you're always on the verge of angry ranting" What makes you think I want to spread postivity? No like, honestly. What makes you think that my purpose with this blog is that. I'm here to talk about my blorbos, and if this makes someone happy then good for them. If the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate about things bothers you, no one is forcing you to stay.

Your whole thing is a mix of victim blaming and fake neutrality which is not welcome on my blog. Please block me and go on with your life, I'm not interested in your empty platitudes.

To anyone else who's reading this, don't ever feel guilty for defending yourself and for fighting back against oppressive measures. There is never a good reason for harassment, and if you were subjected to it, it's in your right to be angry. No matter what p r o b l e m a t i c ship you posted about.

#Anon hate #Long post #'hate the person not the ship' dude what the fuck #Dislike the ship and block the tag. Don't fucking hate anyone #Weirdo

[missinconsistent]

Man, I have so many mixed feelings about the "statement" that was made by Elira, Vox, and Ike.

There's a lot of debate if the three were forced to speak on the situation, and I really don't know what's true. But they've burned their bridges with Selen, and it's just really shitty seeing friends have such an awful fallout, and it all being aired to the public of bad actors to jump in and send hate.

I feel disappointed because I do believe the livers should be allowed to speak their side, defend themselves from the harassment and accusations made towards them, and they're allowed to be upset. I think it's understandable they'd feel scared their personal information and jobs are at stake. But there is no proof that the legal documents would ever go public to dox them. They only incriminated themselves further by mentioning they thoroughly went over the legal document shared with them, which was meant to be private.

Vox particularly had a certain attitude that really rubbed me the wrong way. I could understand where Elira and Ike were coming from, regardless if you agree with them, but Vox just sounded so fed up and too combative.

He spends too much time defending management about The Last Cup of Coffee video but the issue of Selen's termination was NOT that she had failed getting all the permissions because, other than some bad actors, a lot of us already understood she broke that rule. But it was literally everything else about the termination and the culmination of events that people are mad about.

Even though Vox said they don't take Selen's "attempt" lightly, it isn't proven with how they spoke about her and the whole situation. It really did feel like they were more focused on trying to paint Selen as a bad person than showing any bit of understanding for her mental health. Imho, they are allowed to be mad at her AND also show her some sympathy. But Vox, only saying they aren't taking her attempt lightly, is basically all we get. Everyone had reached out to Selen after hearing of her attempt, and getting updates through her emergency contact isn't proof that they handled the situation with care. It almost comes off as they were worried about how it would reflect on the company more than Selen's wellbeing.

It is morally grey that Selen had recorded Vox without his permission to get some kind of dirt out of him (even if it is legal in Canada), but using a very specific instance of when Selen broke Vox's trust still doesn't amount to what she went through that drove her to commit an attempt. Vox going to that moment just felt petty because it made HIM hurt that something like that happened to HIM, and HE was willing to graduate with Selen even though HE would never feel that way if it wasn't for Selen pulling his strings..?

With Ike and Elira, they, too, are both guilty of painting a bad picture of Selen in an attempt to save face for the company and their own careers within Niji. I don't like how they did that, but I understand how Elira would be worried about herself and her two close friends in Niji being doxxed. And Ike, as someone who was considered a friend of Selen, would just feel generally hurt and confused about the situation going on. It's not a black and white situation. But I wish they would have been able to express their negative emotions without feeling the need to speak badly of Selen's character.

Even though this is clearly a tough time for them and everyone in EN, I think that video would've come out a little better if they weren't so focused on trying to paint Selen as the bad guy. As a Niji fan, I wish the company- and the livers- knew how to speak neutrally. They could've just been ambiguous and say they felt upset and betrayed, but they are going to keep working with the company bc that's the choice they stand by, without pointing fingers or especially talking about confidential legal documents.

As angry as everyone is, neither of the livers deserves to be harassed. There has been incredibly dehumanizing shit said and done, and if anyone is sending hate or doxxing them, then you are no better than Anycolor. Selen is not the only person to have mental health struggles, and, she's already asked people not to bully or harrass anyone because she knows how shitty it feels. We don't need to push another liver to their breaking point and act like that is any favor to Doki, to Nijisanji, or any community.

Me venting my frustration isn't meant to be harassment towards Elira, Ike, or Vox. I think they're also victims of their management's incompetence. As a fan, it's just disappointing they blamed Selen for all the problems. And even if they never meant to harrass her, shutting down her frustrations and pressuring her to do what's told of her or else she'd been hurting everyone else while no one looked out for her, is probably what led her to feel the way she did. It shows the company hasn't been doing any introspection and are continously having their livers stick their neck out to avoid doing so.

Nijisanji is lucky that a lot of people are giving the three the benefit of the doubt that they are sharing their true feelings and are only forced to have made the video by management. And it would be nice if, for once, management would take the bullet for their livers other than the other way around and just take some responsibility for their actions without throwing their talent under the bus or using them as a shield. Then, if Elira, Ike, and Vox do choose to leave the company, they'd still have a reputation after Niji after everything they've been put through.

#nijisanji

[merdeusa]

TW: BULLYING, S*CIDE, NARCISSISTS

I know I haven’t said anything since @mack3030 left and the last time I had posted anything I was defending her. First and foremost I want to start out saying, I no longer stand by Mack. I will also be removing my blog that was in defense of her. Not to “hide” or “cover up” that I had defended her at one point, but so it doesn’t spread misinformation and so it doesn’t continue to be used by the wrong people to side with her.

I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong and I was wrong about Mack. That’s on me for not being able to find better proof of her behavior. I do want to offer up some advice. And this is not me being passive aggressive. This is me giving actual, serious, advice based on experience. I don’t want anyone to misread my tone. My advice is that if you are going against someone you know is manipulative and you want to call them out for their wrong doings and you want people to believe you, don’t stoop to their level and don’t stoop lower than their level. Manipulative people know how to come across as the “good guy” and a lot of the people calling her out made it easy for her to look like the “good guy” or “victim” in the situation.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the reason people were angry. But you can be angry and call someone out in a way that will make their side believable or your side believable. If a few people that were calling her out had approached it differently, it wouldn’t have taken multiple actions on Mack’s side to convince people. They could’ve been convinced much sooner.  When I first heard about Mack being a racist, I saw it from her point of view because I was following her on Twitter. The perma-paywallers that were doxxing others had already been harassing those in the community to try and silence them. So when I first saw her post about people “lying” about her, I figured it was probably someone mad she was outing them. Her and I had even talked privately a day or two before (whatever day I made my first blog) she gave us her “grand exit”. That was when she told me that the most harassment was coming from tumblr. I didn’t use tumblr because this place is more toxic than Twitter, somehow. I didn’t want to defend her and be wrong about it, so I looked her up on tumblr and on twitter. I searched her name and saw posts about her. The issue is that I saw extremely immature posts when I looked it up. I saw accounts made with different names like “Mackisracist” and “jumpoffabridge” that were dedicated to bullying her. I know the people who were trying to spread awareness about her hate when they’re being told they were bullying her but that’s exactly what it was. Bullying. Just because she was a bad person doesn’t mean it isn’t considered bullying. And yes I know the accounts said they wanted to get the truth out there about her, but all it looked like was people harassing, bullying and mass reporting her which in return made it that much easier for her to manipulate anyone following her into believing she was the true victim. Then anyone against her would attack anyone that didn’t believe she was racist. Instead of directing them to evidence of her behavior, they were attacking anyone that still believed Mack. And the only proof I saw (at the time)about her was cropped screenshots from private messages. So when she said the screenshots were fake, it seemed plausible. People that were being immature and clearly hated Mack, and showed proof, didn’t appear to be reputable sources. Once people started to get petty because of their anger towards her, anything they said she could easily twist to make herself look like the victim.  If you were an outsider looking in and you saw her posts before anyone else that was calling her out, it looked like she was this poor me victim and they were these hateful aggressive people.  Even after she left and before I read all the screenshots from her goodbye post... I saw someone call her a “disgusting bitch”.  But after all that I was directed to actual proof of her behavior and then I fully read her last tumblr post and I knew that I had been wrong and she was what everyone was claiming. But my opinion on some of the individuals that were calling her out has not changed.  I saw people getting harassed because of Mack, to then in return harass mack as if that made it “okay”. Literally the excuse for how people treated Mack was “It’s okay if she does it but not me?”. No, it’s not okay if she does it. It’s also not okay if you do it.  There’s a lot of victim mentality in this community. A lot of people weaponizing suicide. The whole thing looked like a contest on who could push who over the edge first. It’s sickening and immature. I grew up without a mother because of suicide, I know what it feels like to lose someone because they took their own life, I know how it feels to blame yourself over it even if it’s not your fault.. and the fact people kept using suicide as a way to garner sympathy and guilt trip others is so, so morally wrong. And not being able to see that is childish. Especially if some people out there truly did want to harm themselves because of harassment due to Mack then you’d know from personal experience what your own hate and harassment could cause someone to feel in return.  And the truth is, you cannot force anyone to feel bad for you if they don’t want to. If you think telling others that you’ll hurt yourself is a way to make them feel bad and stop harassing you, then you’re wrong. The people who would be most impacted by that decision, would be people in your personal life that truly love you. Not strangers on the internet. It’s rare for someone bullying you to actually be impacted by that. It’s more common for them to realize their words affected you like they had wanted, maybe they’ll feel bad, but eventually they’ll forget about that person they were bullying. So, using that as a way to guilt someone or trying to get sympathy is immature. If you or anyone you know truly does want to hurt themselves, have them call 988 or even text it, it’s the Suicide Hotline. If you aren’t in America then google what hotline you can call and please seek help.   As for myself being accused of not respecting someone’s pronouns, that’s just ridiculous. Not even worth arguing about it but in case it puts your mind at ease, I will. I did not once misgender the user that claims I am “transphobic”. I referred to them by their username or I said they/them. Because, they never stated what they wanted to be called. Only what they didn’t want to be called. So, even though I don’t agree with things they have said or the way they behave, I made sure to not call them she/he. If you want someone to call you the correct pronouns then tell someone the correct pronoun to call you.  I’m not going to put down the username of the one I’m talking about because 1. last time I did call them by their username(to prevent misgendering them) they were upset about that as well and said it “wasn’t their name”. 2. because I’m not trying to send hate to anyone I’m talking about.  My conclusion is that everyone I’m talking about seems to be narcissists. Everyone wants to make sure they have the last word. And I’m speaking about 4 of you. Mack, someone who speaks on her behalf often and the 2 other users who were very vocal about how they felt about mack and her friend. All of you seem to want to be able to have the last word, making sure you have some edgy comeback. Making sure you’re “quirky” with your “comebacks” and think you’re better than everyone you speak to and everyone you talk about. And hey, maybe you all are better than the rest of us. And all of you can go ahead and comment on anything I’ve said here, because I know none of you can resist it. I’m sure it’ll be so edgy and since you can’t resist having the last word you’ll be happy to know I have no plans on responding to anything any of you say.  To the people that send me dms with screenshots from the users that blocked me and bring me up, I appreciate you trying to “clue me in” on what’s being said about me but I genuinely don’t care. If someone has me blocked then they have me blocked and I don’t need to interact with them. Plus, they’re the ones that want the last word so let them have it. They can’t have the last word if they don’t block me. That’d risk the chance of me responding, of course.  I also did see the post assuming that I am an alt account for Mack and her friend and um, sure. Your proof is kind of not proof, since you made claims I haven’t been “online” since Mack left. Which isn’t true. I have been “online” but also why do you have me blocked if you’re checking up on my account? seems counter productive. But also even if we were all the same account, now what? If you want them to leave you alone, I genuinely suggest to stop bringing them up, because as long as you do, they’ll keep talking about you as well.  anyways I just haven’t posted because well tumblr is a weird place and everyone wants to fight about everything that’s said on here.  To end this long as blog- Don’t send any hate, harassment or whatever else to anyone I’ve spoken about. Again, it’s why I avoided putting out usernames. I don’t want to send hate to anyone here. No one needs to be bullied, stalked, harassed, called names etc. I honestly want to be done with all of it. It’s all petty and immature and not worth any more of my time extra time.  If you want to talk about paywallers then that’s fine, but if it has to do with this other drama I no longer will be commenting on it. 

#sims drama #sims community #simblr #mack3030

[whatiwillsay]

submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me.  but i am very emotional right now.  i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience.  ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support.  have you been financially impacted by this?  we can raise money.  do you need therapy?  we can help you find the support you need.  this community is unequivocally here for you.  whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will.  you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this.  i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened.  this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do.  this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Many Divaz/Z3st confos

Mod: Not all the ones in the inbox, but a batch of them to peruse at your leisure.

1. Z3st got told by a mod on the BJD Discord to stop with his drama-mongering. He argued with the mod. In b4 he whines here about the BJD Discord.

~Anonymous

2. @A certain someone: DOA mods warning you to stop making drama or else ban is not an attack on you. BJD Discord mod warning you to stop making drama or ban is not an attack on you. They're just doing their jobs. To stop finding yourself in situations where you feel attacked, don't make drama. Seriously it's getting super tiresome seeing your crap all over the place esp since you're acting like someone shot your dog or smth. You're doing this to yourself and blaming others for your own actions.

~Anonymous

3. My friend got messaged on FB by Z3st because they posted in support of Divaz. Z3st called them names and tried to prove his "innocence". Apparently my friend wasn't the only person Z3st did this to, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to everyone who commented in support of Divaz. Z3st is crying about being the victim but all I see is him being the aggressor. Who the fuck messages people they don't know to harass them like that?

~Anonymous 

4.@al3xcessive... you can't blame someone for "doxxing" you when you put your information out there first. Also, that's not what "doxxing" is, they've literally only showed your name AFTER YOU SHOWED IT YOURSELF PUBLICLY. All of your other information was hidden. I searched for your name on FB and wouldn't have ever found you if you hadn't gone and shown yourself by spamming comments on the post.

~Anonymous

5.lol al3xcess claiming he'd been "harassed" when he DMs random people to call them bootlickers and they tell him to fuck off xD

~Anonymous

6.If the customer is batshit terrible to work with, you refund them and ban them. Don’t feed trolls and all. Seems simple? But Div4s just gonna dox somebody like that?  Even their most hardcore fans ought to be sayin “hol up” instead of cheering.

~Anonymous

7.Lol @ Z3st calling Divaz "insidiously hostile" when he himself is this way and he even admitted it: "i had been nothing but nice, and ABSURDLY patient, and understanding and looking back now the gushing tone in which i took makes me sick" - Looking at HIS OWN receipts, his "absurdly nice" is just normal decency. It really says a lot about him that he considers it absurd and that it makes him sick. Divas aren't the ones being insidious, Z3st, you admitted you were deceptive from the getgo.

~Anonymous

8.I'm done with r_s who defend BJDivaz on DoA. I had to wait MONTHS for any sign of life from them, they NEVER answer their emails, and they've mishandled ALL of my orders. They won't be an adult about this! If you're ordering from them, you're pretty much supporting them. Stop.

~Anonymous

9.Neutral to Divaz but seeing them did a call out to a troublesome customer is a bit uncomfortable. I believe they should have kept the person's name as anon, never mention their irl or username. I understand that they are upset that their business reputation is damaged by the customer's words but still a business shouldn't blast their customer's personal info on public platform. A business should be a business. Personal feelings should be handled off the business page.

Again I fully understand Divaz is human too and they can feel upset by exaggerated rumours but a business shouldn't be so sensitive to any provocation. I'm sure other dealers also get a lot of negative comments but we seldom hear them talk about it publicly. Really not my place to say, I think Divaz should try to keep personal emotions off their business page. Occasional bad press will naturally go away on its own if they can maintain good and satisfied customers on a long run. I feel like them fighting back against angry (ex) customers and seeking comfort from others is not the best move as a business. It is fine that they express their frustration to their family and friends but definitely not on a public business page. It just feels unprofessional. It's my 2 cents.

Sorry Divaz, I know you don't want to hear this but please do try to keep personal feelings aside when running a business. It will really help you on a long run. Haters will only use this against you because they know you will react to their provocation. This will never end and only damge your reputation further. Hope for the best.

~Anonymous

10. Cheeesus, that long Divaz post on that DoA user is too much. With all the precise time-stamps details and quotations, it's like a lawyer presenting a courtcase like "the evidence here shows that at 'hour;minute' you said this XXX. Is it true?" And we, the witnesses/audience, are all called to participate in the judgment. lol

~Anonymous 

11. ne1 else get msged by Z3st on fb cuz he wants to bitch u out for posting on divaz? 

~Anonymous

12. Divaz doxxes and stalks people, talks shit about customers on their FB, forgets to place orders, hands out tons of excuses for why they can't reply... among other things. Why the fuck are you all still dealing with them? Cl0ver singing, Alice's and a bunch of other companies are ten times better. Stop👏 validating👏 shitty 👏companies 👏

~Anonymous

13.There are certain people who always jump to the defense of BjDivaz and get mad when other people have legitimate issues with them. Get a life. Some of us have real problems and bad experiences ordering from them.

~Anonymous

14. I know everyone has a different situation and state their opinion with what they have already experienced, but I'm not gonna lie that I felt bad when I read someone saying that bjdivaz long layaways aren't even neccesary and they should just remove it. While I do agree bjdivaz could improve in how they manage some stuff, at the same time they are the only ones that let me "join" the hobby and don't feel bad because I can't pay in full or put down big payments as other hobbyists. I know it's not neccesary and I can save, but from someone who comes from a place of poverty I already feel guilty enough spending in a hobby and having big amounts of money always end up in paying emergencies and starting from 0 again. So these "really long and unnecessary layaways" give me the opportunity to not feel as guilty and enjoy something like the rest without spending too much every month to the point that it could affect my daily life.

~Anonymous

15. Z3st/Alex is legitimately evil for what he's doing, trying to put a company out of business that, per the emails that he himself posted, has never been anything but helpful to him (and many others). I'd bet he's the main source of all the BJDivaz hate going on here, and the miserable people around here were more than happy to grab their pitchforks and join his mob. Stop it.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers #BJD Groups

[scoutpologist]

okay i know i’m late to the whole situation but i wanted to say: being rude and unkind to each other for how they handled this situation is not how we should go about things. being rude and unkind to content creators outside those directly involved is not how we should go about things. being rude and unkind to anyone is not how we should ever go about things. extend the grace to others that you would want extended to yourself in a time of stress. i’m seeing friendships fall apart and others point accusing fingers at others for posting/not posting about the situation. i said this before, don’t do that. be kind.

that being said. doxxing is always wrong. i don’t care who it is, doxxing is ALWAYS wrong, because even if you believe that the person being doxxed deserves it, there will be collateral (in this case, dream, and if you don’t care about dream, his family and the victim of the domestic violence case). i’m well aware that the people who perpetuated the doxx wanted to cause serious harm. i am not talking about them, i can’t say anything to change their minds. i am talking to the people who circulated the thread when it first appeared, because by perpetuating and circulating a doxx you allow more people to see it and put uninvolved people in danger. at some point, it had become such common knowledge that it barely mattered, but people had to spread it in the beginning. do not do this. never do this.

i hope this never happens again and that people understand that doing fucking background checks on others is incredibly fucking invasive. i hope we learn not to circulate every personal detail of someone’s life, even if it’s on public social media. we have all done things we aren’t proud of. while i don’t agree that abusers should have platforms, many people (and i’d argue that all) do not deserve this level of severe scrutiny, no matter what they’ve done, and digging up things done in people’s past that they no longer support is not the way to go about things. this is the behavior exhibited in the sbi thread taken to it’s logical conclusion. i do not support abuse, nor do i support domestic violence (both of which, yes, i have been subject to). but neither do i support this horrible idea that you must know everything, including private information, about someone. you are not entitled to that.

i’m not going to make a call on whether manatreed is an abuser or not. it is not my situation to make a call about. what i do want to say, however, is that getting angry at dream for possibly “housing an abuser” shows a VERY CONCERNING idea. everyone deserves housing. everyone deserves food and water and basic human fucking rights. to give these things to an abuser does not mean you support the abuse. to say otherwise gets into DANGEROUS territory. how do you decide who doesn’t deserve to live? how do you make that call? where do you draw the line? how could that line be pushed and pushed (because it will be pushed and pushed) on people who are increasingly more and more innocent? people make mistakes. these include violent mistakes. these include things that you would never even think of doing. understand that. i’m not saying to support abuse. i’m saying to realize the implications of what you’re saying.

protect your privacy. protect yourself. do whatever you have to separate yourself from your real life presence, just to be safe. here is a web page that shows you diy cybersecurity - and remember that all the information people found about dream and his family, manatreed as well, was completely public information. while it was horribly fucking invasive to go out and search it out, and it is still considered a doxx, it was all public. protect yourselves, private your instagrams, facebooks, etc. i love you all, please have a good day.

#op #abuse. #manatreed situation #i hope this is worded well i wrote it during break

[thehealingplum]

When it comes to conflict, people want instant gratification. There is quick finger pointing of who the bad guy is instead of looking at the actual problems. People are not bad. Their actions are bad sometimes, but that does not make them bad. People are not good either. Their actions are good sometimes, but that does not make them good. People are simply people. And we should respect their humanity.

As a society, we should be thinking more long term solution to problems rather than looking at immediately punishing wrongdoings.

We always ask who did what, and what do they deserve for doing a thing. But who does that help in the long run?

I have watched social justice grow as a thing on Tumblr where we call out bad behavior and create a permanent label for people. We have receipts of the things people did, we display them to humiliate and shame the person. I used to think this was okay. I tried to be involved in a "callout" myself. The situation was handled very poorly on all sides. Now my own humiliation is on display while someone else with a similar habit of emotional manipulation is considered the "victim" and I the "abuser."

I have been told by many people that there was a lot of manipulation and gaslighting from the others involved. And so I told myself "it's fine if I hate them. I'm justified in hating them. They hurt me when I was vulnerable." ...but then I remembered that they were also hurting. Hurting because the system we have is terrible. Hurting because people are not getting the emotional healing they deserve. And so... I don't hate them. They called me abusive. They told me my anxiety was a crutch. They called me an asshole. They called me creepy.

Since then, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, unlearning, and inner work. It's not the most pleasant thing, but it's necessary. Because it will equip me to better handle similar conflict in the future. Instead of acting on impulse and emotions, I look towards an actual solution.

The way we look at social justice and call outs is not any different from the way our abusers have punished us.

For example: a parent is having trouble with a child. They do not know how to stop the child from throwing a tantrum. The parent wants the child to stop, be obedient and cease the embarrassment. And so, the parent spanks the child. An act of violence and humiliation to satisfy the parent's need to stop the child from acting out.

An example of online solutions to misbehavior: a teenager has decided that they are interested in drawing explicit content involving underaged characters. They are then seen as immoral. Bad. Irredeemable. Mob mentality drives people to call them out and say they are pedophiles. Their name is slandered. There is suicide baiting, emotional abuse from the community, doxing, and nothing is actually fixed. People are angry on all sides. People feel justified in their anger. But that anger doesn't help anyone, and leads to more harm than good.

We can't survive like this. We can't live like this. Expecting people to hurt each other, expecting to be hurt and get revenge when getting hurt, it doesn't do anything for anyone except uphold a broken system of cruel punishment.

Maybe, just maybe, think critically about what you do when someone does you wrong. And then think about what you would want someone to do with you if you did something wrong.

It's important to hold people accountable, yes. But humiliation is not the solution.

#Thinking aloud #Social justice #callout culture #cancel culture

[timeclonemike]

The War of the Words, Part 5: Counterstrike

Previous installments of this essay have repeated the point that the tactics used by nazis, terfs, and other varieties of bigot are those adopted by a force with a numerical and strategic disadvantage when facing a larger and stronger opponent, among other things. This may have given the impression that these types will eventually just die out. While I believe that this is true in the long term, it is demonstrably true that they can still do considerable damage in the short term, so this is unfortunately not the kind of problem that will solve itself. Action must be taken to undermine them at every possible juncture. This is especially true given that the current, semi-covert “secret agent” / muddy-the-waters approach was adopted because previous open displays of aggression were not getting the results they wanted. It is entirely possible that a shift in strategy will occur again and allow them to make more headway than they presently are.

Any given strategy employed by the nazis and terfs and racists has one or more potential counter-strategies, but simply waiting to recognize a specific type of propaganda or psychological manipulation or social engineering method puts everyone else on the defensive - by the time the problem is recognized and understood, it has already been effective for some time and may allow for a certain amount of momentum. Also, rapidly shifting strategies can lead to the defensive side lagging behind or being overwhelmed, which is one of the potential advantages of the “increase the signal to noise ratio when it comes to dog whistles” approach mentioned previously.

Therefore, as the old saying goes, the best defense is a good offense. The best chances of combating these ideologies involves going after them directly, rather than trying to play damage control after the fact (although that is also important.) And to do this most effectively requires a certain level of understanding of the psychology (and pathology) of the kinds of minds that are most amenable to fascism and radical exclusionism and racism.

The most important point worth considering is what I have taken to calling the Fascism Paradox. Fascism derives its name from the Fasces, a symbol that was adopted during the days of the Roman Empire and then appropriated by authoritarian political movements in the early twentieth century. It consists of a bundle of rods tied together, incorporating a handle and axe head, and the symbolism is pretty straightforward; a single stick might break, but a bundle of them together is much more robust. The obvious idea behind it is that many people united in a single cause and goal can accomplish what an individual cannot, which is why it was adopted by so many governmental offices and magistrates before the early twentieth century.

The titular paradox is that the Fasces symbolizes strength despite being an admission of weakness. The whole point of tying the rods together is because an individual rod is inadequate to the task at hand. Likewise, most authoritarian displays of power revolve around numbers; large military parades, massive rally crowds, mobs of angry young men wearing polo shirts and carrying lawn torches. The power of symbolism, and the attraction they hold, is a door that swings both ways; those who are attracted to the idea of fascism are those who are individually weak, and can only achieve strength and power by proxy, as part of a larger group.

Given that knowledge, the obvious counter is to strip away the protections of the group itself. After the Unite the Right rally, quite a large number of participants were identified by photographic evidence where they did nothing to conceal their identities, and the social consequences were considerable. These individual people were not part of a larger, dangerous force; they were people with names and addresses and once people could pair them with the faces in the photographs, it was basically open season. This technically wasn’t even doxxing; nobody can realistically make a claim to privacy when they are in a  public space, much less when they are deliberately drawing attention to themselves. (The lessons learned from this are implicit in the “secret police” tactics used by unidentified federal agents in Portland as of this writing.)

If this sounds like a roundabout way of saying “Divide And Conquer”, it’s because there’s another element to the paradox. A bundle of sticks may be stronger than any individual stick, but the strength of said bundle is still limited by the strength of the individual sticks. For an object lesson in why this is important, compare breaking a single uncooked spaghetti noodle with an entire package of uncooked spaghetti. The whole package technically puts up more resistance, but the difference is marginal in comparison to the forces involved. So it is with fascism and the people who are enticed by it; because their attraction to the group and the cause is motivated (subconsciously or not) by an attempt to mitigate personal weaknesses, the group itself inherits all off these weaknesses. This is especially true when it comes to the subject of morale and courage under fire; each individual in the group is relying on the group as a whole, and they take their cues from each other, so as soon as one person falters everyone around them starts to hold back. The result is a chain reaction of hesitation and lost momentum. (This can be seen in real time when watching videos of right wing protests fighting with counter-protest groups, and can also be seen in recordings of police and riot cops against protestors when a charge doesn’t immediately turn into a rout.)

This paradox also comes into play with another peculiar psychological characteristic: Being disgusted or enraged by compassion. Compassion directed towards weakness can serve as a reminder of said weakness, or an admission, or symbolize a loss or negation of strength; the human mind is very complex and this can get rationalized and justified many different ways, but it all comes back to a central idea; that they can’t or don’t have what they want more than anything. This is another reason why these groups turn on each other at the drop of a hat, because displaying compassion for, or receiving compassion from another, is an insult in a culture where strength is prized: “I’m helping you because you’re weak and you need my help / pity / support.”

(In a world, and especially a year, where the hits keep coming and they don’t stop coming like some sort of Fae contract involving a Smash Mouth song, this attitude is even less healthy than it normally is.)

The sense of personal weakness at the heart of the paradox can take multiple forms, not just physical strength. Financial stability, social leverage, political authority, health and wellness, even good looks can all qualify. What matters is it’s something that a person wants and does not have. This by itself is the origin of most conspiracy theories; some other nation or ethnic group or political party is hoarding or stealing all the food or medicine or political power, and if they weren’t, things would be different. The conspiracy theory angle is so complicated it requires its own essay to explore in full, so for the purposes of brevity and clarity we will leave that unaddressed for now; all we need to focus on is the idea that these people want something that they can’t have. The “can’t have” part especially plays into the idea of radicalization and recruitment. Somebody who wants to be physically strong can work out and get swole, and can measure their progress over time in terms of sets and reps. As a matter of fact, they have to in order to determine what exercises are working for them. How much they can lift and for how long and with what body parts will vary greatly depending on factors like genetics, environment, childhood and adult nutrition, but what matters is that it can be quantified and measured and progress can be seen.

But fascists, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, fascism-susceptible people, are in a different situation. As much as they glorify, praise, and fetishize strength and power, what really drives them is their weakness. No matter how ripped they may be and how much they can bench, it’s never enough; they will always be afraid and insecure and there is always the possibility, if not the certainty, of somebody stronger. It’s the difference between wanting to be strong and wanting to not be weak. This also applies to knowledge, to social acumen, to power and influence. So long as they are unable or unwilling to confront the root cause of what drives them - to admit their weakness in whatever form they find intolerable - they can’t come to terms with it psychologically, never mind take action to correct it practically.

This leads directly to the next strategy for dealing with fascists; mockery and ridicule. The insecurity and weakness that drives fascism is bone deep and borders on the universal, and this is why so many alt-right insults are disparaging terms referring to a perceived lack of strength or fortitude or power. Trying to use those specific terms against them is about as effective as children on a playground going “I’m rubber, you’re glue” but individual insults and derogatory remarks are not what’s important; the underlying insecurity is. Simply not treating them with the deference and respect they desire is itself a potent starting point, and from there any number of comedic possibilities present themselves. Autocratic and authoritarian regimes are notorious about cracking down on dissent for this reason even more than an attempt to keep the citizenry from being agitated; just look at Vladimir Putin’s heavy handed retaliation against Russia’s internet access when somebody photoshopped heavy makeup onto his face. Wannabe dictators with no power can’t remove the object of their ridicule and it eats them alive from the inside out.

The final aspect of this counter attack strategy has to do with enemy morale and opposition. As stated in previous parts of the essay, a number of fascists and crypto-fascists abandoned the cause and ideology when they decided it was less stressful to stop being one. In other words, leave the door open for somebody to switch sides. Consider an analogy where Fascism is an island; some people will burn all their bridges in pursuit of the ideology, but others might not; if other people burn those bridges, the result is the same and they end up trapped on Fascism Island anyway, so they have nothing to lose by doubling down. A number of people on and off Tumblr have discussed this topic and the problems with what is called “essentialist” thinking long before this essay was written; there is a nearly decade old TED Talk by a DJ called Jay Smooth who suggested we start thinking of bias and prejudice the same way we think about hygiene like brushing our teeth, that prejudice is something people do as opposed to an inescapable part of their character.

It’s worth keeping in mind that this may be interpreted as weakness by the fascist or fascists in question and this may prompt them to redouble their attacks or attempt to “play” the person giving them an out in order to get information or undermine their confidence or even try to recruit them into the fascist cause; it’s also worth keeping in mind that it is impractical and unrealistic to expect everyone to adopt this approach. Some people have lost too much personally, and some people are too close to the ideological or physical front lines to even consider letting their guard down. Not everyone can be Reverend Wade Watts.

#The War of the Words #On the Shoulders of Windmills

[andersfels]

some people really don't understand the product of having an Opinionated (read: discourse or politics) blog with a lot of followers, and how unattractive it really is when you're young.

by the time i had reached 2k followers on my old blog, i was already getting daily anons in response to about anything i posted. a good amount were bad faith arguments, and another good portion were people who purposefully ripped apart and inspected everything with such precise scrutiny that i once got sent anons accusing me of being an incel because i had said the phrase "female characters," and apparently only incels say the deragtory term "female."

and this was all from the people who were my genuine followers and people who should have aligned with me, so dealing with this was in addition to the right wingers and neo nazis who doxxed me and sent me pictures of real dead people as i got more popular.

and all of this was at the ages of about 17-20, before i could legally even buy any alcohol to cope through it, much less be developed and educated enough to be expected to be unproblematic and fully correct all the time.

i had made the blog initially because i was seeing a lot of tumblr bullying of my community, and i was also realizing the importance of being involved in politics, and i wanted to use that blog to explore my opinions, vent my feelings, and learn about politics. but as soon as i got a decent amount of followers, a handful of popular posts, it was no longer my blog. i could no longer vent, explore, grow; it was performative, because my life was made fucking hell by my "friendly" followers if i fucked up at all.

that's not something growing people should be exposed to. it was my first toe dip into politics coming from a republican family, and this was my first socialization with people who weren't christian conservatives. the result? my family remarked on how i seemed much more volatile. i grew almost innately defensive, and snapped any time it sounded like someone disagreed with me, because I was fully prepared for a full on assault when someone did disagree with me. i was angry all the time. my mental health dipped to a place it had never been before. i was dissociating constantly. i was trembling with anxiety every single day, because i never considered that the pressure was too much for me, and i felt the need to keep posting every single day despite knowing what i would get in response to every. single. post.

it was feeling the moral obligation to express every single Opinion that crossed my mind wrt to gay or political issues, otherwise i felt i wasn't doing enough....even though I knew that no matter what i said, i would get treated to some pretty abusive shit. knowing that i could try to reason something out by typing it in a post, hoping to have a discussion, and knowing if there was any aspect of it i hadn't thought through that might be wrong, it would be screenshot and held over me forever.

and some of it was the result of it being the real height of tumblr discourse, but honestly....it was an environment mostly of other kids/young adults. it was one we created for ourselves. and it was nasty and toxic.

and I'm saying this now because i keep seeing young people on here with discourse blogs (actually, i only see young people with open discourse blogs anymore.) and not all of you will understand the detrimental effects. i was lucky to deal with a "last straw" event that prompted me to finally ditch my blog, but i see some accounts on here still fully dedicated to that vicious enviromment, engaging with that shit every single day, and I'm so immensely sad.

you may be smart. you may have a lot of things you want to say about current events, or politics. but i promise you, if you are young, there is nothing that makes it fucking worth it to have a discourse blog and spend so much time in that kind of negativity. it will HARM you. it warps how you percieve things, like making mistakes, and growing from them, and the allowence to explore things in order to arrive at your final opinion. it puts a target on your back that can affect your developing personality. its not. worth. it. if you're young (especially, but i think it holds true for everyone,) a discourse blog is Bad For You and at this point, ridiculous. please don't put yourself in that position.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Just realized tumblr is celebrating John Mulaney for saying the same thing you said two years ago and got so much doxxing for, how we suddenly have to worry about Nazis again and wtf. People on this website are loonier than loon.

Yeah, well, it was one or two months after Trump was elected and people were angry and scared, and it’s way easier to unload that frustration on a random stranger on the internet whose random post we can misinterpret to say the opposite thing that they meant to say, than to pick on Trump. I was hurt because I was just expressing the same fear and frustration by just rambling on my blog and instead I got accused of being exactly what I loathe. But I understand the place they were coming from, you know?

It’s pretty obvious that when people, especially shitty cowardly people like most Nazis are, realize that their shitty views are less taboo to the point that someone like them is elected to something like the presidency of the US, or as de facto leader of the government in Italy, they get bolder.

In Italy, there has been a sudden and dramatic increase in violence (verbal, physical, etc) against minorities, especially Black people and Romani people, since this government started. People who was racist before but felt it was taboo to express those ‘politically incorrect’ things... now feel legitimated to act on those racist views. People now know that a certain kind of language and expressions are “okay” because, duh, we elected a person who talks like that, it means that the majority of the country doesn’t have a problem with that. Look at what happened in Brazil right as soon as Bolsonaro was elected. France was obviously never free of antisemitism because when has Europe ever? But a lot of Jewish people have started feeling especially unsafe and considering leaving the country over recent years.

Racism and homophobia obviously existed before the Trump presidency or the Lega government because otherwise where did Trump of Salvini or Bolsonaro come from? It’s not like the king gave them their office, people voted for them. But now Nazis are emboldened because they feel supported by the people in power and by the fact that a large portion of the population shares their views enough to vote for those people.

Nazis are not a danger if everyone else shuns and rejects them. They’re just vermin. Nazis are a danger when the same crap they believe in gets normalized. I’m not scared of some dudes with a shaved head and black shirts. I’m more scared of all the “I’m not racist but” people. I’m more scared of the nice ladies and gentlemen who go to mass every week but agree with people who say that gay men should be sentenced to death. I’m more scared of how almost every person I know is genuinely convinced that the Nazi-supported stereotypes against Romani people are true facts.

But as long as we have decent government run by decent people, and by that I mean: governors who respect the rule of law and the constitutional state, we’re mostly safe. When these people - Trump, Salvini and all the like - start undermining the constitutional state and the basis of democracy, then - and this is what it means that suddenly Nazis are an issue when these people get elected - minorities are no longer safe, liberties are no longer safe, democracy is no longer safe.

And meanwhile kids bully other kids because they absorb the idea that it’s okay now.

#nazi cw #antisemitism cw #racism cw #homophobia cw #anon

[sage-nebula]

27, 26, 21, 13 (the generals), 10, 5, 4, 2, and 1 for Voltron? For The salty meme thing? (Also apologies if these were answered previously)

I’m just glad that you said what meme this was for, because this was long enough ago that I completely forgot, haha.

27.) Least shippable character?

Answered.

26.) Most shippable character?

I honestly have no idea. Maybe characters like Regris or Matt, since they have barely any personality and thus could be paired up with almost anyone if written well.

21.) What are your thoughts on crack ships?

They’re fine, and have been around in every fandom for the dawn of time. I strongly disapprove of anyone attacking anyone for whatever fictional ships they have no matter the reason, because as squicky as you might find someone else’s ships, that’s absolutely NO justification for sending death and/or rape threats, doxing, or otherwise harassing and engaging in nasty behavior. But that said, the idea of people doing this just because someone ships two characters who have never met before is especially ludicrous. It’s unacceptable in general, but when people come down on the ideas of someone writing an AU where two characters who didn’t meet in canon meet and fall in love, it’s pretty obvious that the only reason why they take issue is because this is “competition” for their ship, a concept which is especially asinine when you remember that fanworks have no bearing on canon, and as such ships can’t really be in competition anyway.

So my thoughts are: Everyone needs to stay in their own lanes. No one has to like every ship out there—god knows I have some NOTPs of my own—but that’s no excuse for harassing, attacking, threatening, and otherwise being nasty to others. Tumblr Savior and the block feature exist for a reason. What other people ship doesn’t affect me, and the same goes for everyone else.

13.) Unpopular opinion about the generals?

Acxa: While I personally only ship Acxa and Keith platonically and do not read or write romance into their relationship at all, I don’t think it would have been horrible or the end of the world had she and Keith ended up as endgame. I do think that more work should have gone into their relationship if that was to be the case, but I think that the vitriol and hatred that was spewed Acxa’s way for “getting in the way” of other potential relationship options for Keith was pretty gross and misogynistic. Acxa deserved better, full stop.

Narti: Literally the only reason why the majority of the fandom cared that she died was so that they could use her death as a reason to vilify and demonize Lotor. They never actually cared about her, and it makes me angry whenever I see her name leave any of their fingers. They don’t deserve to talk about her, tbqh.

Ezor: She’s as cruel as she is bubbly and energetic. She’s kind and loving toward those she likes, yes, but she was the one smirking when Lotor commanded Throk to be sent to rot with the ice worms, and she had no problem tossing helpless village leaders around and getting threatening when one of them disrespected Lotor. Ezor is genuinely outgoing, but she also purposefully allows people to underestimate her and let their guards down around her so she can make them pay for it later. In some ways this makes her crueler than even Zethrid.

Zethrid: According to galra beauty standards, Zethrid is widely considered the hottest and most attractive of the group. Additionally, while she has no qualms about smashing skulls and actually does like explosions and fighting, she’s also protective of those close to her and does her best to look out for them. She’s the most group-oriented member of the team.

10.) Most disliked arc? Why?

Seasons five and six. Season six in particular was so bad that it’s what caused me to drop the show. If I list out all the reasons why I hated these seasons we’ll be here all day, but suffice to say that season five did a good job of making me despise pretty much every member of Team Voltron (and the protagonist-centered morality of the show became unbearable), and season six pushed the idea that a child abuse survivor without a good parental figure will end up evil like their parents. As a child abuse survivor myself, I didn’t take kindly to that.

5.) Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

I never shipped them romantically, but I stopped being able to enjoy Keith and Shiro’s platonic, familial relationship due to all of the wank and nastiness in the fandom. It’s sad, because when I first started watching their familial relationship was my favorite relationship in the show, but between the Shiro stans who bashed Keith because they felt he only had value when he was an accessory to prop Shiro up, to the antis who used Shiro and Keith’s platonic relationship to further their romantic ship(s) of choice, it just got to the point where I couldn’t enjoy it anymore and no longer wanted anything to do with it. It’s sad, but what can you do.

Oh, and while I never shipped Keith/Lance, fandom antis made me go from neutral on that one to full on cringing whenever I see it. So there’s that, too.

4.) Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Romantic Keith/Shiro has always squicked me out, because I always saw Shiro as an older brother, promoted-to-parent figure for Keith, like Guy to Luke in Tales of the Abyss, or Nani to Lilo in Lilo and Stitch, et cetera. That was the vibe I always got from their relationship in canon as early as season two, and while I tried to see where the shippers were coming from in rewatches (I really, really tried), it just squicked me whenever I thought of them romantically because of how Shiro acted like a guardian figure for Keith. Given that season six confirmed that Shiro did in fact play a part in raising Keith and that Shiro and Keith met when Shiro was an adult and Keith was a foster orphan, I can at least say that my feelings were right on the money with that one. In any case, this is one of the fandom juggernaut ships and it’s a NOTP for me, so yeah.

That said, Keith/Lance is also a NOTP for me. Aside from never seeing any chemistry in canon because Lance would barely allow Keith to even be his teammate, much less his friend (much less his boyfriend), the fandom ruined it for me as mentioned before. It’s unfair to those who ship it without being nasty, I know, but Keith/Lance became the flagship for a group of people in fandom who behaved very nastily even to people who weren’t in the fandom at all. It’s the biggest ship in the fandom and I also can’t stand it, so. There’s that.

2.) Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Shiro and Keith, but as mentioned the fandom ruined it for me after all the Shiro stans I saw bashing Keith, and all the antis that made platonic content only to turn around and either a.) use it to further their ship (usually Keith/Lance), or b.) behave atrociously toward other fans / voice actors / staff members / etc. Like I’d want to go look at platonic Shiro and Keith content and have a nice time, but I’d have to worry that OP was a terrible person the entire time I did, and it was just … no fictional relationship is worth that kind of stress. So yes, I’d still see them as a brotp, but it’s not one I can have fun with anymore.

Acxa and Ezor is another one, though mainly as I write them in Paradigm Shift. Here’s another cup of unpopular tea: Acxa and Ezor’s canon dynamic is basically Keith and Lance but with girls. The only reason it became as popular as it did is because both Acxa and Ezor are pretty by our human beauty standards (although I guess the personality dynamic of “Keith and Lance but as girls” didn’t hurt among the antis). That said, while I keep their differences and the way they grate on each other in my writing (in that Acxa sees Ezor as immature, Ezor sees Acxa as a nag), they have an older sister - younger sister dynamic going on. They really do love each other, it’s just beneath a lot of arguing because one is so responsible (Acxa) and the other is … not (Ezor). 

1.) What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

If it’s a popular ship in the Voltron fandom, you can pretty much bet I don’t ship it, lmao. Romantic Keith/Shiro, Keith/Lance, Allura/Lance, Acxa/Ezor … if it’s big, odds are I don’t like it. Only rare pairs are shipped in this house.

Note to Everyone: DO NOT reblog this to start discourse or wank or so help me god, I will block you immediately, no warnings and no regrets. Thank you.

#anonymous #salty ask meme #let me know if this needs other tags #like negativity tags and such

[p-redux]

I Thought We Were Done, But I Guess Not...More Draaaamaaa Coming Right Up!  I Know It’s Long But There Will Be TEA SPILLED. :-) Hope you read it all the way to the end...

Below is how ContemplatingOutlander responded to my post pointing out that the reason the MAJORITY of NST have her blocked is HER treatment of them, and my suggestion that she take some time for self-reflection. 

Let me offer some more TRUTHS and some clarification that should have been done a long time ago. Here we go...

CO, a wise person knows that there are 3 sides to every story: hers, his, or in this case, hers again and the truth. So, whatever my “former friends and acquaintances” have told you is one sided and only from their perspective. Obvi. I would like to clarify some things I have kept my mouth shut about for far too long. Here they are...

You don’t have the complete picture, CO. But that’s what happens when you only listen to people who have a vendetta--their hate clouds their judgment and ability to be completely honest. I am not on my “4th or 5th inner circle.” I still have my ORIGINAL Twitter DM chat inner circle I have had for 3 years, it’s just missing a few backstabbing members, with whom I parted ways going on 2 years now. And that’s who you have talked to, not the people who have had my back this whole time. If the “former friends and acquaintances” you talked to were right about me, and I was this horrible and deceitful person, there would be NO ONE left in my inner circle, YET they are still with me all these years later. And as a result of their continued loyalty and real friendship over the last 3 years, I have recently shared things with them that I have not shared with anyone. They know my real name, and they know the identity of my original industry source, among other things. No one else does. 

You know who’s not in the group anymore? Someone with whom, at the other members’ pleading, I had to have regular “talks” in DMs because the group members were so tired of her controlling manner in chat (no surprise that she’s one of your favorite people from that group...birds of a feather, I guess). Someone whose stressful job and tough situation with her son started to affect her thinking and made her very paranoid. Despite me showing her concrete proof that negated who she thought I was in real life, she didn’t believe me. Someone whose physical health problems caused her to have mental health problems and become very angry and lash out at me. Someone who was the source for the private Tony pics at the Outlander premiere in April 2015 and whose identity I have continued to keep private, even to my own detriment, yet she has had no problems betraying me. (note: this person is not my Tony family source. That’s someone else). Two individuals who run a well known and popular Outlander fan Twitter account whose identity I have also kept private because they don’t want the fandom to know that they run the account, and that they were in my inner circle. Someone who said she was married and rich and turned out to be totally lying, yet she had no problem badmouthing me behind my back, accusing me of lying about MY identity. And various other women, who although they were allowed to be completely Anonymous in the group (their Twitter names were Anon and in group they did not divulge personal info about themselves) yet somehow I was chastised by group members for not sharing my real identity. In addition, for a short period, I stupidly let into group a former shipper who I KNEW was playing both sides. But I guess the info she could divulge about her ex shipper friends was just too juicy to pass up, so she joined for a bit. And, as I knew would happen, ended up being a huge back stabber, but that was not a surprise. I knew better.  

CO, THOSE are the assorted  “former friends and acquaintances” who have talked to YOU, to Extreme Shippers, etc about me. Ya think they might be a wee biased and unreliable in retelling their version of the truth? Um, yeah. But despite me KNOWING that some of them have talked shit about me to YOU, to Extreme Shippers, to anyone who would listen and REVEALED some things we all swore we would take to the grave, I “big, bad Purv” have NOT betrayed THEIR confidence. What I’ve written above is the most I have ever shared. And I do feel badly, and somewhat cringe that I’m doing it, even though I’m not revealing anyone’s name, or any identifying details, but this is how far I’m being pushed. CO you have NO idea what you are stepping into. The amount of secrets I have kept private is staggering. Is that something that a the terrible person I’m portrayed to be would do? NO. A terrible person, the minute her ex friends started spilling tea, would have spilled right back, and blasted all their private info too. BUT I didn’t do that. Because I’m not a terrible person. Do you know how much easier my life would have been if I had told everyone who my Tony pic source was and posted all those pics publicly? But I didn’t. Despite being stabbed in the back by my former friends. Do you know how many secrets I could have shared that would have cleared my name in certain situations, and prevented some of the attacks on me? A LOT. But I didn’t, because doing so would have entailed betraying people’s trust and despite all my faults, I wasn’t willing to do that.

So, CO, when you make veiled threats insinuating that my “former friends and acquaintances” “didn’t appreciate being played” and therefore they may continue to betray me, what you don’t realize is THEY PLAYED ME. And they PLAYED YOU. They didn’t tell you the WHOLE TRUTH. They KNOW that even though they are privy to many of my secrets, I ALSO HOLD ALL OF THEIR SECRETS--secrets they didn’t tell you. Once we parted ways I assumed we would be at a detente. If they tried to take me down, they knew they would come with me. I underestimated how dangerously they liked to live, or how emotionally unstable some of them turned out to be. And so they continued to betray me and I SAID NOTHING. But if you or anyone else continues to push me, that will change. Enough is enough. All their secrets and their names I have kept under lock and key, THAT’S my insurance policy, should they, or YOU choose to take this further. 

The same goes for Extreme Shippers who also talked to my “former friends and acquaintances,” and like to talk shit about me. It was always understood that there is also a detente there, since ES know that everyone knows most, if not all, their REAL IDENTITIES. The only ES who is Anon is Jess. Any Extreme Shippers dox me, find me, find out my real identity, and try to mess with my RL and all I gotta do is go down the list of NON-ANON ES: Lauren, Julia, Kim, Nipuna, Sherri, Leslie, Deirdre, Trish, Erin, Angie, Stephanie, Marcy, Suzanne, Lynn, Jo, among MANY others. I’m sure fellow ES wouldn’t want to be the catalyst for that. So THAT’S my insurance policy on that side. As for Puffy, I hear she’s still at it with her “investigation” of me and fleecing her minions of their hard earned money, I stopped looking a long time ago. She can keep going, but I hope she knows the minute she finds my real identity and messes with my RL, her bestie, co-owner of her blog, and partner in crime, Amanda E.S.H will be getting a knock on her door from the authorities. THAT’S my insurance policy on that side.   

For now you’ve been splashing around in the kiddie pool, CO, you want to get in the deep end with the big girls? Be prepared to SWIM. Again, I suggest you STAND DOWN, Doc. You blog on your blog and leave me alone, and I will blog on my blog and leave you alone. Like a fellow NST said, “no one is drowning kittens here.” Fandom isn’t supposed to be so serious, this is supposed to be FUN. I’ve been playing nice, and I will continue to do so. I am nice, to people who are nice to me. But do not mistake my continued silence all these years for weakness, you push me too far and the bitch I’ve been made out to be, aka “Big bad Purv” WILL come out. Mark me. 

PS: Yes, I have people here on Tumblr who I talk to in DM regularly and consider my friends and inner circle here. That group is separate from my original Twitter DM chat, who I still maintain. None of the people in the Twitter group chat overlap with the people in Tumblr DMs. Two totally separate groups. And I appreciate all of you so much. :-*

We done now? *cracks neck, shakes it off* Okay drama session is over, can we go back to some actual fun now? JFC.

#co #contemplatingoutlander #extremeshippers #drama #teaspilled

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

That last ask specifically mentioned "Asian women and gay men" but it's important to highlight cishet and bi Asian men who feel entitled to Asian female/femme bodies and feel 'betrayed' that women they don't know chose to date/marry someone outside the race meanwhile they stay dead quiet when their fellow men chase after white women like the Holy Grail or about the rate of sexual/domestic violence and misogyny Asian women face from Asian men. That's what this whole Asian MRA movement is about.

You’re right on that and that’s why I didn’t fixate specifically on putting any blame on Asian women or LGBTQ+ Asian men. But considering that you did bring it up, now we can fixate on MRA Asian men. And I have A LOT to say about this.

In my opinion, the whole idea of “race traitors” or “breeding out the culture” or the fixation on “why do Asian people always seem to date white people” and things like that come from MRA Asian men. It’s a misogynistic-internalized racist-eugenics kind of viewpoint.

It only seems to be Asian men that use the term “race traitor” and it’s used to guilt trip Asian women from dating outside the race because as you said, they feel entitled to Asian women. But Asian women don’t exist for Asian men and it also misses the fact that some Asian women aren’t even attracted to men at all. Who Asian women choose to date is of no concern to Asian men, it’s not our business. And why should an Asian woman date a misogynistic Asian man anyway?

The phrase “breeding out the culture” is also commonly used. It implies that in order to keep one’s culture, a couple has to be between an Asian man and an Asian woman. But in my opinion, Asian women are the backbone of most, if not all Asian cultures. This isn’t to lessen the role of Asian men in Asian cultures but it’s the women that carry most of it (as in doing the physical, mental, and emotional labor behind the scenes) while not being allowed to participate in authoritative positions.

It vastly depends on the culture obviously but an Asian woman doesn’t need to be with an Asian man to engage with or preserve their culture since they’re the ones that carry it or hold most of it up. Growing up with my culture and with strong women in my family (along with deadbeat men that come and go), I know this from experience. It’s the women that hold the family and the culture together, not the men.

Then we get to this extreme fixation on “Asian people dating white people” bullcrap. It always tends to be Asian men that focus so much on Asian-white couples but tbh I don’t care. Let people and especially Asian women date who they want, it’s not our business. They always want to point out that hordes of Asian women are dating white men but if they actually went outside for once and stopped ganging up on Asian women on Reddit or Twitter, almost every cishet Asian couple they’d see is an Asian man and an Asian woman. NOT Asian and white.

Then they’ll act as if there is some “Asian woman privilege” whenever white men want to date or do date Asian women. But they overlook the fact that most of it is from an Asian woman fetish. It ignores the racist and militarized fetish of Asian women that goes on even right now. This fetish leads to human trafficking, r@pe, murder, and other things of that sort towards Asian women. In fact, Asian women are the most trafficked group worldwide. Asian men ignore this though because they just want to play the victim.

And as you mentioned, they’ll push for Asian men-white women couples. I know how trashy white women can get but I have to say that these Asian men don’t genuinely care about white women. They just want to “get back” at Asian women and white men. They’re projecting the same fetish that white men have towards Asian women onto white women instead. That’s why they love those weeby white girls that fetishize Asian men because it satisfies their own fetish towards white women.

Then lastly, we get to the domestic abuse. It’s pretty rampant within the Asian community but we just don’t talk about it much. Most of the perpetrators are cishet Asian men and it’s because they want to control Asian women.

Domestic abuse doesn’t always have to be extreme or violent, it can be like preventing someone from hanging with their friends or telling them what to wear or where to go, things like that. It’s all meant to keep the person in control. Sometimes the perpetrator (mostly Asian men) will also threaten to hurt themselves or the victim (mostly Asian woman) which is another form of control.

But domestic abuse can be violent and extreme too. I’ve heard many stories of Asian men murdering or having someone else murder their wife or girlfriend. There are also many cases of Asian men beating Asian women as well. All this is very real and it’s often overlooked by MRA Asian men. They don’t really care about anyone but themselves and their own wants or needs. Instead, they’ll put Asian women in more danger by harassing and/or doxxing them.

Tbh I can keep going on this but for the sake of trying to address everything you said and are concerned about, I’ll end it here. These topics are way too much to fit into one post.

Angry Asian Guy

#anon #ask #long reads #tw sensitive material

[painted-vale]

Ugh. Another day of bad  arguments that hurt and distract me and many others and poison this fandom. 

I will not name names. But many big Reylo blogs I saw are saying doxing and  Malevolent’s “racially insensitive” fic deserve the same attention. In fact they argue that we should not talk doxing, doxing is a distraction from Malevolent’s racist fanfiction. 

I saw asks and reblogs that  state: “Racism hurts people in real life too, so it is just as important as doxing. No one will stop us from talking about racist fanfiction because that is where our focus should be.”

These arguments are so wrong. On so many levels. 

 What  they say: Racism hurts people in real life.

---> this is very true. Growing up I was called many slurs and had my culture made fun of to my face. I have been passed over for promotions and had people take credit for my work. Treated like an outsider at school and work.  Racism hurts people, yes of course. It has hurt many people far worse than me.

What they say: Malevolent’s work has the same kind of racism that hurts people in real life.

---> Whoa, whoa. How could anyone say the experiences I shared above are the same thing as a racially insensitive fanfic?!  If you say racism in Malevolent’s fic (something I and other POCs disagree on, by the way) causes the same harm as real life racism, you have stated the biggest false equivalence I have heard. If you cannot see you are deluded. 

It is okay to be upset or angry after reading a fic you think is racially insensitive. But if it causes you severe harm, there are bigger issues. I do not say that to be mean. I say it honestly. I wish you healing and peace. But blaming the author is not fair for a severe reaction to a fic. Though the author should hear you and consider further tags. Contact them privately. Be civil. Public comments on A03 are not the place for a talk like this.

Bottom line:  do not treat Malevolent’s race bending and “racist” tropes in her fanfic as the same thing as real world racism. As a POC do not condescend to me like that.

What they say: TSE took it too far, but that is on her. We have to stay on topic. The topic of racism. Do not get distracted by the doxing. 

First off,  Doxing is way more dangerous and harmful than a racist fanfic could ever be. Also, if your issue was how Malevolent handled the discourse, it is still the same conclusion. Doxxing harmed Malevolent and her family way more than people could ever be hurt or offended by her response to the discourse. 

Doxing was a red line. Who knows how many saw Malevolent’s personal info. TSE will never tell.  Any crazy person taking it too far could stalk Malevolent or her family.  They could call work and hurt her livelihood. They know who her mother and husband are.  This is serious stuff.

Malevolent has no idea of what harm might come, or when. And even if nothing does, the threat is awful alone. We are not talking lost followers or flaming comments on A03.  We are speaking of people’s homes, jobs, and family. 

Also, do not forget that doxing arose from the racist fanfic call out. Doxing came from the person who led this call out. People keep trying to brush off the doxing when it was caused by the “Call out Malevolent” movement.

When I see people dodge like this, I keep thinking how it is the Reylo discourse version of,  “You committed obstruction of justice.” “BUT HER EMAILS!!!!”  

Stop it. The doxing came from the discourse. And it was not just TSE who enabled and fueled this. Stop pretending it is one isolated person from a “noble cause”!!!

It was not just one bad apple! TSE uses “we”  in the receipts. She had friends who helped her doxx .

TSE says she sent it to her inner circle, which must have been a very big. Because other discourse blogs  said they saw Malevolent’s facebook posts. 

Who knows how many knew about TSE and her cronies doxxing but said nothing until the rug was ripped out? Maybe this is why TSE had certain “friends”  who denied and avoided the doxing stuff until the evidence was so huge that tons of anons and whistleblowers kept calling them out.

This was NOT ONE BAD APPLE. THIS WAS SYSTEMATIC. 

So what? Not my problem, you might say. WRONG. 

Hundreds of Reylos reblogged call outs started by rotten apples with bad intentions and morals. Most supporters meant well. But they still threw support behind a group of doxxers. What TSE did is not their fault,  but how they handle it  does reflect their integrity. It is simple.

If they were willing to call out Malevolent they must be willing to call out doxxers.

Whatever your feelings on the discourse, only  DOXXING warrants an instant blacklist and condemning without caveats. Learn the difference. 

I am very disappointed in the big blogs who were vocal against Malevolent but now deflect or avoid talk about the doxing of the people who drove the discourse. That is complicity in what TSE and her cronies did.

If these blogs want to have any integrity  they must CONDEMN the doxing with equivocating. Without deflecting to real world “racism.” There is plenty of time to discuss that. And we should. But for now it is false equivalence and avoiding.

If you are someone who did NOT  participate in the discourse, I still encourage you to condemn doxing and blacklist the doxxer.  Because this is a scary new low. We cannot look the other way. 

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As I said to start, “ugh. “ I hope we end this mess for good. 

Stop deflecting to real life racism so we can heal the  wound from this call out. Condemn doxing and the doxxers.  Blacklist and report the doxxer (TSE).

 Doxing is one of the scariest things that can happen online. It is  grounds for instant blacklisting. A fandom that welcomes doxxers is toxic and unsafe. We know others helped TSE. I really doubt they will turn themselves in but maybe a whistleblower will. I hope so. No one is safe while doxxers are here.

Then reopen discourse for how race is handled in fic. 

I am a POC too. I did not find Malevolent’s stuff racist. But I cannot talk about  the black experience. I want to hear from those people. And I think that racebending is  questionable. I want to talk about racist tropes and racebending civilly, and with no call outs. We can have these talks. No one is trying to stop these talks. I am not trying stop them. I just point out we have to deal with doxxers and doxing first to have any trust or credibility or safety. 

When we do get to this this discourse, it should stay general on the issue of dealing with race in fanfic. NO MORE personal attacks against Malevolent. Especially with her doxxed info from Facebook posts. That is sick. 

When these 2 things happen, Reylos will feel safe to share opinions and content again. The integrity of  big bloggers will be kept. POC will feel heard. And we can all move on.

I want to let this die too. Discourse sucks for me and for everyone.  I have a real life. This takes time and energy. But the community safety is important. Many of us enjoy this fandom. We use it for fun and distraction. We have friends here. This fandom is worth protecting. 

I do not want any more frightened Reylos messaging me to say how helpless they feel. I do not want to see any more deactivated blogs from Reylos scared out of this fandom. While that keeps happening the cancer is still alive. 

Until then, I will speak for silenced and scared Reylos against doxxing and complicity of it in the fandom. 

#fandom discourse #fandom wank #doxxing #cyberaggression #fandom toxicity