#but i DID fuck up my knitting very badly and i’m stressed because i lost an hour’s worth of work at least

[twoheartsoneclara]

ever since i was a little girl i always knew that i wanted to say to myself “im going to kill myself” whenever dealing with the slightest inconvenience

#claire.txt #i am NOT i am going to rage on like the storm in frozen or whatever #but i DID fuck up my knitting very badly and i’m stressed because i lost an hour’s worth of work at least #and i have four days left to finish this all of which i’ll be spending working

[slutfor-fictionalmen]

hi hi! I hope this message isn’t too late or anything, since I only just seen the one you send me this morning! Also I accidentally deleted your messages while trying to reply 🤦‍♀️

But if it’s still alright, may I request an Armin Arlert x slightly thicker/chubby reader? just something soft and simple! maybe he’s noticed that the reader doesn’t eat very much anymore, and is skipping meals, and he confronts her about it, because he doesn’t want her getting sick or something happening. She obviously gets a little upset about it, and like, tells him she’s been having a hard week and has been super insecure lately. She just doesn’t like the way she looks, and Armin comforts her and stuff! All the love and cuddles! 🥰 I’m in need for this rn honestly 😭

I hope i did it right!! Things are more internalized due to my own self indulgence, i hope you like it!!

Tw: self harm(starving) 

Another day passed, and you hated being in the corps more and more, with the men objectifying you and the women with their fake smiles and judgemental looks, aside from Mikasa that is. You felt her hand on your shoulder, staring right back at them as you passed.

She was the only girl-friend you’ve ever had, which makes your bond with each other especially strong, she called you her therapy stuffed animal( in a good way) with how loving and kind you were when she came home to eren’s house. You were always there, you gave her her first jacket, you bear-hugged her when she was at her worst and missed her parents, you stood by her and never faltered. Even going as far as telling off Eren for being tactless to her feelings, poor boy has no social cues.

Eren loved you for how truly different you really are, despite being an only child, you were his sister, as much as a pain in the ass you are. But this called for you being apart of his and Mika’s friend group with no doubt. Being part of erens tight knit group of friends means you were automatically loved by eren, mika…. And armin.

You always had a fondness for the shy blonde, his all bark and no bite nature stole your heart. You met at a young age but only connected through Eren, he always tells you to thank him for that introduction despite your efforts to play off your crush being in vain. You loved how… pure he looked, how in a world full of death and violence, he could always bring light into your day with a smile or a story. No matter what you could count on his smile,you could count on him.

That’s why you hated today with a passion.

“We have extra food, which one of you dumbasses didn’t eat all your shit?” You sighed, walking away from the situation you caused. It wasn’t a good day, their comments bugged you today for some reason, and Armin wasn’t there to perk up the atmosphere of this gloomy day. Making it unreasonably difficult for you to focus on your own health today, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. It’s been a week of irregular meals, constant moving, and titan stress. It wasn’t like you were trying to starve, you just didn’t have the time.

And you didn’t notice till today.

“Lookin’ thinner, bunny… are you eating well?” You ignore eren’s concerned comment, pressing forward with the group in disturbed silence. This was the fifth comment today about your looks that you’ve gotten. You weren’t a small person, you had extra meat, and you had curves, paired with your adorable tiger stripes, but you know for a fact that starving this little would not affect your appearance that much. It irritated you, and you vowed to tell off the next person who said anything.

“Y/n can-“ “Oh my GOD, are you SERIOUS? I’ve been eating! I havent lost that much weight and i don’t want to hear your Perverted FUCKING Mouth say anything! It’s idiotic for you to continue to act like a jealous schoolgirl and make your ‘sly’ comments! So just Shut up!”

You finally open your eyes from your rant, regretful as your irises meet two bright blue eyes on a horrified face. “I was just going to ask if you can slow down and walk with me-“ Guilt floods your mind as you ear him squeak out his words. You lower your gaze and nod, moving to the back of the group with the boy. It didn’t matter how long this would be, you knew Levi would make you set up for camp soon.

“ ‘m sorry armin, you didn’t deserve that, I’m just-“ “Don’t apologize, you didn’t mean it to me but it was still valid. But never mind that, are you ok? Yes you haven’t been eating but you’ve been…. Cold lately..” You wanted to tell him, just say, ‘ I’m so in love with you that even a few days without your voice makes me angry as shit’ but you knew it wasn’t the right time…. And besides, would he even accept a girl like you?

“I’m fine, just stressed, tired, and overwhelmed…. It’s a lot you know?” Armin nods walking closer to you and letting your answer settle before your group sets up for camp and your pace continues to slow.

“You’re beautiful no matter what, I’ve read articles that said starving is actually terrible for your body, unintentional or not, it won’t end up good. If i have to,” He flushes, continuing to look ahead,” I’ll stay with you all day to make sure you’re eating and drinking water.” You freeze, feeling flushed as you watch him walk away and realize that he just offered to be around you all day just for you to be healthy.

You shake it off, keeping his words at the forefront of your mind before you get ready to retire for the night. You find a note on your blanket, asking you to meet armin at his tent with water and a blanket. Curious as to what it means you do as the note says, waiting at armin’s tent before he opens the zipper with a happy smile, welcoming you inside.

“You got the water?” You lift up the container, making him nod and turn away to a covered pile in his room. He takes the cover off, revealing the food he gathered for you two. “You didn’t eat again, so I didn’t either. And before you say anything, i got some of everything  so you have to eat SOMETHING! I told you all day didn’t I?” You look at him with teary eyes, your emotions of the week spilling out at his gesture.

Sobs wrack your body before he pulls you into his form, engulfing you in a warm hug. You feel him draw soothing circles on your back, rocking you and letting out slow shushes in attempts to calm your mind. You feel him kiss the top of your head and rubbing your back more before he pulls away and guides you to the setup of food.

He grabs you a plate of everything, making you sit and eat with him. You nibble at your food, uninterested in grossing out the guy you like by eating in front of him. But that only made him take your fork and feed you himself, he was determined for you to take care of yourself and love yourself as he loves you. You notice him watch you eat with admiration, happy to see you finally giving yourself some nourishment. You hear him sigh and hesitate, but you leave it untouched before he breaks the silence.

“You know…. I’ve loved you for years, ever since you punched out that kid who threatened me for speaking up, and how you always listened to me talk about the books I’ve read and things I’ve heard-“ “i know, i love you too armin.” “No not like that, I’m IN love with you, like i want to hold your hands, kiss you everywhere, curl into you at night, i want to love you.” You stop mid chew, maintaining eye contact as you swallow and stare at him.

“Are you serious?” “Yes.” “Like you’re not-“ “Y/n L/n I am completely and utterly in love with you.” You push the food aside, crawling between his legs and curling up onto his chest and wrapping your arms around his torso. “I love you so much it hurts armin. It hurt me so badly when you wouldn’t talk to me, i don’t know what i did but i was so mad that i pushed you away.”

Armin tilted your chin up, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he grabbed onto your soft form with a passion. “I’ll never do that again, I’m so sorry beautiful.” You hold onto him tighter pressing your ear to his chest to hear his heartbeat. “You really think I’m beautiful?”

He pulls away, reaching over you to grab your blanket…. Man he really plans things out, before he wraps it around you both and presses a kiss to your temple. He lets his hands sink into your skin, loving how your soft skin feels on his fingertips. His lips pepper kisses on your neck, pulling slightly back to press a kiss onto your hairline. You loved how gentle he was with you, you already knew the answer to to your question before he even opened his mouth.

“More then you can ever know, my love.”

#tw: self doubt #armin x you #armin x chubby reader #attack on titan #armin #chubby!reader #plus sized reader #fluff #aot fluff #aot angst #angst #angst with a happy ending #poc!reader #sorry it’s so bad

[juyeoniemyhoney]

green tea & honey

After being shackled to your respective houses for most of the year, when your government finally allows normal commuting, you and Seokjin decide to go on a movie date. Seokjin picks a horrible movie and instead of watching, you decide to reflect on how you and Seokjin have lasted for four years.

-pairing: kim seokjin x reader 

-genre: lowkey comedy, fluff, really small mentions of CEO!seokjin 

-warnings: cursing, oc lowkey has anger management issues

-word count: 1628 words 

-A/N: a short seokjin fic for his birthday^^ hope you guys like it. 

--------

There are times when you wonder whether your life could get any better, times when you think that you have everything you have ever wanted in the world and that nothing can take that away from you. However, there are also times when you think that you have not shown enough love, hence why the the people surrounding you start to act up. And this is one of those times. 

Seokjin is your boyfriend. He has been for a long four years, ever since he played a horrid prank on you that consisted of cement, a cup of coffee, and your unknowing, naive self. Basically, you had drank cement, well, it went into your mouth and you immediately spat it out. You don’t know how or why that ended in a relationship with the goofiest, most insane man you have ever met, but you’re not that normal either, so you just kind of went with it. If you’d have to guess, you’d just been attracted to the way he’d always managed to make you laugh, even in serious situations. That was just Seokjin, funny and loud and outgoing, sometimes a pain in the ass but nevertheless, someone you have come to love whole heartedly. 

But right now, you are not so sure if you love for him can even surpass the fifty percent mark, but you’re absolutely positive that you are a hundred percent pissed at him. 

The two of you have been spending a lot of time apart from each other, with the global pandemic and what not, forcing you two to stay in your respective flats. But now that your country has allowed the public to commute normally, provided a mask is worn at all times, the two of you had decided to go on a movie date. Seokjin had been having a stressful time with his work pretty much the whole year, having had to close down multiple branches of his business due to insufficient funds, so, you being the amazing girlfriend you are, decided to allow him to choose the movie. 

Big mistake. 

Seokjin had chosen a horror movie. It still baffles you why Seokjin insists on watching horror movies when he knows very well that he is, to put it extremely bluntly, a pussy. That man gets scared of everything, from creepy-crawlies to ghosts. You’d be lying if you weren’t scared of those things too so, you really don’t know why he has to fucking put the both of you through hell. Seriously, Seokjin is another species. 

“Seokjin, stop squeezing my hand. It hurts,” you whisper to him, lightly jostling your intertwined hands when he doesn’t look away from the screen. Seokjin merely grunts and releases your hand, moving his vice grip to the poor armrest, gripping it so tightly that you are sure once he releases it, you could see that the fabric is torn through. 

Sometimes, you wonder if Seokjin is properly in love with you or not. It is not that he doesn’t tell you that he loves you, he tells you that he loves you plenty, always remembering to tell you before he sleeps and tells you first thing when he wakes up. It’s just sometimes, his actions don’t exactly show that he loves you. It may just be your way of loving and Seokjin’s way are different, but he is just, not romantic. But you suppose that you and him have been in a long-term relationship for a reason so you have never really brought it up.  

“Seokjin,” you whisper, lifting one of your hands to gently tug on the sleeve of his sweater to get his attention, “give me your jacket.”

Seokjin turns to you and levels you with a frown, thick brows knitting together, looking more confused than that time when he saw a bird just chilling in his flat. “Why?” is his fucking reply, and at that, you properly turn to him, ignoring the horrifying movie playing before the two of you to level him with a frown of your own.

“Did you just ask me why?” you ask, giving him an incredulous look, before looking down pointedly at your shivering hands. Seokjin sees your point and only frowns more, as if you had just asked him to turn into a unicorn or something. 

“Why the fuck are you looking at me like that,” you ask rather loudly, causing Seokjin to shush you before looking around to the other movie-goers to see if they had been disturbed. He turns back to you, frown still knitting those pretty eyebrows together, “Why,” he asks again. For a successful businessman, Seokjin sure is stupid sometimes. 

“Because I’m cold?” you offer dryly, hand tugging harder on his sleeve. Seokjin’s brows lift, as the realisation finally dawns on him and though you can’t see it through his mask, opens his mouth to say something, closes it in thought for a while, before muttering, “But I’m cold too?” 

Your frustration doubles, triples, quadruples and you swear, you have never wanted to hit someone so badly in your life. You love Seokjin to death, but sometimes he can be unbelievably insufferable and so unromantic, people have mistaken you two for brother and sister before, which is just petrifying. 

“Okay, then share it with me,” you decide, taking slow and deep breaths in, practicing the calming techniques your guidance counsellor had taught you. You are rather proud that you haven’t completely lost all your cool. When you had first started dating Seokjin, you would be screaming at him almost everyday, telling him not to do this and that, like some control freak. Seokjin had tolerated it at first, but one fateful day, he couldn’t take it anymore and just screamed back at you. That’s when you realised that you have a horrible anger problem, and decided to go and get that checked out. Of course, you had apologised to Seokjin and he apologised to you, and your relationship had strengthened because of that ordeal, not to mention the fact that you are also a little less crazy now. 

Seokjin stays silent, contemplating whether he should share it with you or not. After all, he did remind you to bring a jacket since you are always cold. You had already left your house when he sent that text and were too lazy to head back home to retrieve it so you’d thought that you would just suffer through it. But then, Seokjin sees the way that you are trembling and finally notices the small hand that is tugging on his sleeve and then, he is sighing in defeat and shrugging his jacket off of his broad shoulders and draping it on you. 

If there’s one thing that you’ve realised in your four years with Seokjin, it is that, despite all of his wisecracks and all of the pranks that he plays, despite all of the dad jokes and his happy-go-lucky way of living, Seokjin is sincere and loving and kind. He is also brazen and says whatever in on his mind so as to avoid misunderstandings and conflict, which helps out your relationship a ton, since you tend to do the exact opposite and keep your troubles to yourselves. Seokjin doesn’t tend to connect with you emotionally, and usually uses logic to solve your situations and problems, but you can always sense that he is trying and that alone, makes you want to try hard for him too. 

After Seokjin drapes the jacket over you, the two of you stay silent and watch the movie. It is downright horrifying and most of the time you are burrowing into Seokjin’s ridiculously large jacket, or using the box of popcorn to shield your eyes from the screen. As the movie drags on, Seokjin’s hand finds yours again and you start to shift as close to him as the seats allow. 

Eventually, you stop watching the movie altogether and just bask in Seokjin’s presence, decidedly leaning your head on his shoulder. At the same time, our free hand comes up to his arm and wraps around it in a loose hug. You can feel Seokjin melt into your touch, his head leaning on top of yours and his free hand coming up to pat your cheek. Seokjin feels warm and safe and even though you aren’t watching the movie, you’d like to think that if you were, you wouldn’t be afraid. 

“I love you,” you whisper to Seokjin, as you snuggle into his side. With his cheek pressed to your ear, you can feel it when he smiles, letting out an endearing chuckle before lifting his head from yours to plant a small kiss to your head, muttering, “I love you more,” into your hair. 

Your heart warms, skips a beat, and stops functioning simultaneously and even though you’ve told him this countless times in the last four years, it never hurts to remind him. “I’m so glad that you didn’t give Yoongi that cup of cement and accidentally gave it to me instead.”

At this Seokjin barks out a laugh, earning him a few angry shushes. His eyes widen before they are shrinking back to its normal size and he is saying, “Do you wanna leave now? This movie has already traumatised me enough.”. 

Your small smile widens and you are nodding in agreement to Seokjin’s proposal. Then, he is grinning at you, standing up, and leading you out of the cinema. 

Your relationship with Seokjin is more of a comedy than a rom-com. Your love comes in rough edges and infuriating pranks and stupid fights. Sometimes, you hate it and you want Seokjin to be more romantic and to stop being so brazen with his words. But most of the time, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

#seokjin #kim seokjin #jin #seokjin fanfic #seokjin drabbles #seokjin x reader #seokjin imagines #jin ff #jin imagines #bts #fluff #comedy #bts fanfic #bts jin #jin fic #fanfic #seokjin ff #bts drabbles #scenarios #seokjin scenarios #bts scenarios #seokjin fluff #seokjin x y/n #seokjin fanfiction

[wizardrywilting]

my favorite quotes from give me silence

ch. 1:  Let her rephrase, a very pretty Muggle girl named Eloise Mary Howard. --- It should be noted that Lydia was mentally compiling her will. --- Arthur Weasley was running towards her, dressed in some combination of a pantsuit and clown costume. --- Immediately, they covered the pranking product they’d been working on with a quilt, this catching it on fire. --- The twins snapped their gazes to each other, then jumped up and grasped hands. They jumped, the wooden floor thudding beneath them. By the time they had finished cheering and jumping, Mrs. Weasley had hollered at them twice, Percy yelled four times, and Lydia was blushing. --- Fred set his chin in his hand. “Tell us everything .” --- “Ginny! You don’t knock on strangers’ doors!” --- (Yes, Colin did get a photo of Neville licking a napkin, stress written on his face. It was hilarious.) --- “You’re the oldest of us, which means you’re the responsible ones.” The twins looked horrified at the idea, and Lydia laughed herself silly. --- Even though it was so cute and honestly, the fur would be cheaper to knit than yarn was - that is to say, on the way back home Chio had already shed enough for them each to have a handful of fur. --- Neville had glitter on his eyebrows, and he was attempting to blink it away from his eyes, face contorting in funny ways. Chio’s fur was doused in blue and purple glitter. Lydia herself had glitter in a smattering of multicolored freckles across her nose and cheeks.  ---

ch. 2:  “If you need me to pick the liquor cabinet’s lock I know how.” --- Mrs. Weasley sighed. “Did they break a window?”  “Uh...We fixed it?”

---

Where Lydia came from, albeit not a traditional family, you learned knife tricks and pressure points to incapacitate someone.

---

“I know. We just never see eye to eye.”

 “No one can meet your eye, you’re too tall.”

---

 “Have good, British dreams, Lydia.”

---

But we’re not...not that.”

 “Of course not, she’s only thirteen. But dear, perhaps you should acknowledge that you fancy her. Merlin knows we all noticed.”

---

It was, quite frankly, concerning. Was this a heart attack?

---

Fred was chuckling, the prat. “Just glad to see you, his brain cells have given up. Wait a minute.”

---

Was she seriously apologizing for a hug? What?

---

“Merlin, I miss you. It was so boring with all the boys. I think I lost some estrogen.”

---

 “Lydia, love, you look like a pixie.”

---

ch.3:

She had wanted to stay behind and ask a few questions, maybe pull out her pocket knife, the usual sort of thing, when she noticed Neville struggle to stand, shaking like a fucking tree branch during a tornado.

---

“Neville, I would make God bleed for you.”

---

Were they twice her size? Yes. Would she still rip them a new one? Absolutely.

---

What right did a little kid with blood in her teeth and something called an ele-friend have to her heart?

---

Madam Pomfrey was smiling at her. Lydia didn’t like it.

---

Sighing, Madam Pomfrey faced Lydia again. “As you were deflecting?”

---

It was a nice painting, surprisingly well done. Lydia’s face was in the foreground, getting smacked in the face by Natalie’s wand, while the girl herself was cheering in the background. The blood on her face was surprisingly realistic. Up in the top left corner, Natalie’s attackers were out cold, various painted injuries littering their bodies.

Lydia felt strangely warm.

---

Lydia beamed. “It’s more like insane. To be stupid you have to have brains. Luckily, I left mine in the dorm today.”

---

 “You called her Minnie.”

Lydia quickly realized her mistake.

 “N-No, I didn’t!”

 “You did,” they sang, “You called her Minnie! We’re rubbing off on you!”

---

Poppy smiled and thus began their weekly gossip. She did so love this child. If only she could tell her.

---

ch. 4:

As with every other Halloween, really the day must be cursed, things go to shit.

---

That does beg the question, why are magical people so determined to risk their lives? Is it a universal thing?

---

Was it petty? Absolutely. Had she gotten caught yet? Of course not, who did you take her for, Parkinson?

---

Harry shrieked like a mandrake, and Lydia quickly sent a spell to silence him.

---

“You. You’re a girl.”

She raised her eyebrow at the log-turned-Sirius-Black. “And you’re not a dog anymore. I’m glad we’ve established that.”

---

He paled a little at her smile, and stepped backwards. “I’ll uh, I got nothing. Oh, look, Sirius! Let’s shift focus to him.”

---

Something seemed to click. “So you’re the kid that sent me a letter with threats.”

---

“First of all, you’re terribly hard to kill, Harry,” Lydia sighed, shifting to sit more directly in front of the fire, “Secondly, think about this. There’s a couple hundred more students than normal, and everyone thinks the kids underage are safe, because why would Dumbledore’s magic ever be faulty? There’s a fourteen year old kid, he looks pretty defenseless, especially now that he’s been lulled into a false sense of security. He probably thinks he’s safe, with the age spell and loads more people that could protect him if Voldemort gets inside Hogwarts again. This would be the perfect time to strike - lots of people to blame, a tournament that could be found at fault, and an old man’s magic coincidentally not working. I’m just saying, if someone’s been after you for awhile and hasn’t succeeded...now’s the time.”

Sirius chuckled nervously. “You’re not a Slytherin are you?”

---

“Are they being mean again?”

 “Who’s they? I don’t know anyone named They. What a weird name, They-”

---

Aria sighed and flopped onto a space between the bridge’s arch where there was a bench. Colin grabbed her elbow so she didn’t do something stupid like fall through. That had to be a safety hazard, right? Was there no safety inspector for Hogwarts?

---

It seems like Ginny was going to get to try out that new boils curse she’d just learnt after all.

---

It was very hard being a Triwizard contestant. Well, that was kind of a lie, and Cedric didn’t lie. Unless it was to tell his dad he was excited for a Ministry job, that is.

---

There were downsides to being a Triwizard Champion too, of course.

-There’s barely any time for friends.

-No alone time.

-Mum cries whenever she sees you, you’re not sure if she’s proud or scared.

-There’s potential for trauma, but hey, it’s writing material.

-You could die or be seriously injured. You’re trying not to think about that.

-The other Hogwarts champion was entered without their own free will and now might be getting bullied and you feel overwhelmed with the guilt.

---

“Cut ‘im some slack, Lyn. He’s got so much to worry about. His adoring fans, for example.”

---

She slugged his arm. “Don’t get smart with me, your job is to be pretty. It’s Lydia’s job to be smart.”

---

George nodded at the three Hufflepuffs. “Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy’s friends.”

---

 “I stand by what I said, purple glitter jazzes up my comforter.”

---

 “Lydia, how are we gonna get down six floors?”

Lydia snorted. “Prayer, Colin. I’m personally praying to Yoshi.”

---

“You know you need the sleep, young lady. Now, fret until ten o’clock.”

As Madam Pomfrey left, covering the snoozing Colin with a blanket, she heard a mutter. “I don’t fret.”

---

ch. 5:

Heidi glared, picking up her cup full of ice cubes and popping one into her mouth with a loud crunch.

---

“Might as well break the rules for a good cause, right?”

---

Ginny gasped. “Oh no, am I gay? I feel gay.”

---

George is running away from the Durmstrang students, and I should go save him before he gets mauled. I told him not to charm their hair and skin orange, but he didn’t listen.

---

Oh, is that Hermione sounding disappointed? Surprising.

---

Glancing to where Alicia and Katie had been flirting all afternoon, she winked.

---

“I set the books to become inanimate again when he apologized to Hermione.”  “He, ah, refused to until blood started dripping into his socks.”

---

“he won’t let me go with Priscilla.”

Ginny leaned across the table. “You mean Lee’s tarantula?”

Lee nodded. “Match made in heaven, I say. But you know how it is, star crossed lovers and all.”

Ginny blinked very slowly for a moment and then left for the Ravenclaw table, shaking her head. 

---

 “Our little snake.”

 “Already sneaking around the rules at such a young age.”

 “I’m fifteen! ”

 “Our little-”

 “-tiny baby rebel. My, how they grow up.”

 “Just yesterday you were learning manipulation. And now, you’re sneaking into a dance.”

---

Finally, George said, “What’s the solution? I’m begging you Lydia, help me.”

She stared him in the face and said, “Aren’t beggars usually on their knees?”

---

 “New plan, because you’re as graceful as Hagrid’s skrewts.”

---

“This is your karma for that idiotic stunt with the dragon.”

 “Are you ever letting that go?”

 “I will when you stop flirting with Death.”

 “I don’t flirt, I tease. There’s a difference.”

---

“Hey Freddie, do you think your mum would be upset if I told her I want to drop out?”

 “Do you?”

 “Kind of. We could get a head start on that joke shop of yours.”

 “With what money?”

She shrugged, finally tearing her gaze back to his. “I guess how all poor people get money - struggling. It's just...I want to be with you and George, where nobody else matters.”

---

ch. 6:

She hoped Luna liked the earrings made from orange skins, it seemed her style and had made Lydia’s fingers sting when juice seeped into a few paper cuts.

---

Ginny barely gave her finger guns before she was sprinting.

---

“Is that allowed?”

 “Probably not,” Colin admitted, then shrugged. “But since when do we adhere to those silly things?”

---

 “Hi, you’re that scary snow white girl Colin’s always talking about, right?”

---

“Ready to piss off some purebloods?”

Ginny grinned like she had just hexed someone. “Oh Lydia. I was born to piss of purebloods.”

---

The night hasn’t gone devastatingly wrong as of yet, and Lydia supposes that’s all she could expect without sacrificing her soul or something.

---

Lydia briefly wonders if she’s just doomed Hogwarts to a fate of destruction. She figures it will be fine. Probably. Maybe.

---

A loud bell rings over the music, startling the band so badly a tambourine gets thrown and hits Professor Snape in his hooked nose.

---

Lydia cuffed his shoulder. “I know damn well your mum didn’t raise you to ignore a beautiful girl, Ron Weasley!”

---

They were all rushed to bed as soon as they got back to the Burrow, the car having malfunctioned and it already being near dawn by time Mr. Weasley learned they were accidentally in the Netherlands rather than England. (How that happened Lydia didn’t know. She’d fallen asleep against George’s shoulder after the fifth hour driving.)

---

She pauses in her unwrapping a little, and she mentally screams.

Look, she’s paranoid and mind reading is possible.

---

  ‘No way!’

 ‘Shut up.’

 ‘How come you fancy him and not me?’

 ‘Shut up!’

---

She began to mentally sing. ‘LA LA LA LA.’

---

ch. 7:

George had the big mouth, and often didn’t bother listening. It was as if he had one functioning ear, and he simply didn’t bother to use it.

---

The things he’d seen...it made him want to set something in fire, or smash something. Neither were an option though, as his mum really liked their curtains and dishes, so he stewed in the feeling.

---

This is how she should be - chasing him with giggles and hexes falling from her lips.

---

“ Ced got high and went swimming with his egg so the task is probably something to do with water. “

---

Sirius, honestly, is not having a good day. Or a good thirteen years, really. The things he looks forward to are rats, pets from nice villagers, and seeing his godson.

---

Ron snorted. “You reckon they think we’re all going in the cave to snog - OW, Hermione!”

---

“Your idiot godson - sorry, totally intelligent and not at all stupid godson -

---

Harry is pouting, and it’s the cutest goddamn thing Sirius has ever seen.

---

As Lydia runs to catch up with the other three, Sirius can hear Hermione demanding what the letter said, and Lydia saying, “If I told you I’d have to kill you. May I tell you?”

---

ch. 8:

She didn’t regret it, a little suspicion of authority figures was healthy.

---

“I’m surprised you weren’t born on a broomstick.”

George sighed with faux disapproval. “I wish I’d been.”

---

“No, you’re pretty...uh, good. You’re pretty good. You don’t have any...toothpaste.”

She laughed again, and George prayed for a sinkhole.

---

He fancied Lydia, and he was totally screwed.

Lydia was by his side every day of the year, basically.

She spent summers at the Burrow, save for those in the States, and they went to school together!

Oh Merlin. If his siblings (read: Ginny) found out they’d be insufferable! No. She couldn’t find out.

---

Katie grabbed her arm and pulled Lydia to her own chest, telling Alicia, “Love, time for Bear Protocol.”

Alicia, apparently doing what Bear Protocol meant, kicked Lee. “Bear Protocol. Now.”

Immediately, the debate cut off, and the twins slid close together, blocking anyone seeing Lydia from behind them. Lee did the same from her right side, and the three Chaser girls did so on her left.

---

 “Why aren’t you in class - oh goodness, what’s this?” Professor McGonagall, for her part, looked about as alarmed as one could make her.

---

Professor Flitwick simply levitated her and told Professor McGonagall, “Alert her professors she won’t be in lessons today, won’t you? I’m sure Poppy will want to keep her for quite a while.

Professor McGonagall sighed slightly but nodded, mumbling something that said an awful lot like, “Attached much?”

ch. 9:

Fred is pretty sure the detention was just for appearances sake, because when they got to Professor Flitwick’s classroom he had pretended to be disappointed, but when Lydia smiled at him he had smiled back.

They had practiced charms Fred is pretty sure weren’t supposed to be taught unless paid extra Galleons for, and he gave them all snacks.

---

“Madam Pomfrey is currently with someone else. She’ll be available tomorrow, or when she finds time.”

George obviously was strung out, because he snapped, “Get Pomfrey!”

 “Madam-”

 “Pomfrey will make an exception, Lydia isn’t a normal patient.”

 “I really doubt-”

Ginny sneered. “Doubt a little less, or you’re getting boils in places cream can’t reach!”

---

“ Mam .” She cried out, and Madam Pomfrey pulled Lydia forward so the girl could grab onto the woman.

---

And if later on Professor Flitwick found and joined them? Well, no one needed to know.

---

#nsca #favorite nsca quotes #Lydia McBrien #give me silence #gms #no second chances allowed

[beyondthetemples]

Multimuse RP questions!

{{ I couldn’t figure out which RP blog to stick these on (since I have like. nine), so I figured I’d just skip to the Answering Part over here. =w=

Found here: https://memesfortheroleplayerssoul.tumblr.com/post/163688858676

is there a muse that you wish gets more attention? Honestly? Dove. There are a couple of people who've said they love reading about her, and I'm so absolutely eternally delighted for them, too deeply appreciative for words! A couple friends I met via rping her, and a couple friends I met in Certain discord servers, but that's about it anymore. But she's my baby, you know? I love her, she's amazing, and I wish more people took the time to write stories with her, because she just has so much potential! I mean, yeah, for angst of course, but also for healing and comfort, for action and fantasy, for mystical and mundane plots alike. She's so multi-faceted and fascinating to explore, I just... well, maybe it's more selfish in that I need help exploring some of the more mundane stuff with her. Because if it doesn't really Have Relevance to a Particular Plot, I generally won't wind up writing it, let alone publishing it. :P But this answer's already too long; I could rave about Dove for hours! All I'm trying to say is, I wish more people cared about OCs.

if you HAD to choose, who’s your favorite muse? Favorite to RP with? Far and away, Dove! Favorite for crack RPs, Srentha or Leyla. Favorite canon character is a GIGANTIC toss-up between Raven and Lapis. Favorite characters to explore for personal reasons are Ryou Bakura and Blue Diamond, but I have a hard time bringing myself to actually WRITE about them, for some reason...

is there a muse that not a lot of people roleplay with? (Besides the ones I haven't advertised? ^^';;) Maybe Phobia? She has only ever existed in comic canons-- though she WAS in the Teen Titans Go comics too! (The original series, not the... bastardization). Anyways, she's a much lesser-known muse. And my muse for her is wildly unreliable, she's a volatile and abrasive character, and my inspiration for her has run dry for awhile now...

if you HAD to choose, who’s your least favorite muse? Phobia. o_o See above, actually.

which one of your muses have you been playing the longest? Prooobably Dove? She was the one I started rping with, of course!

which one of your muses has the most ships? Ships in their canon, or ships in my rps? Because you're talking to a demigray here; I don't really do romance? But in my stories, Dove has 3 ships (all at different times in her life). In rps, Dove has been kinda-contemplating-it shipped a couple times, but never got to the point of, you know, kissing... and in fandom, Lapis probably has the most.

what is each of your muses’ otps? notps? ~ Dove and Srentha together~ (Don't have notps for them.) ~ Kary: food? sleep? Her canon boyfriend Eric ~ Leyla has a qpp named Toby in the stories. ~ Raven: I'm demonbirds trash. I don't even know how that happened, honestly. (Notps include B|BRae and, while not as strong of a NO in the jlvtt canon, ter/raven.) ~ Lapis Lazuli: OTP with Peridot! Intensely notp with jasper. ~ Blue Diamond: OTP with Yellow hardcore, no notps to speak of. ~ Phobia: Utterly unexplored??? I think she voluntarily abstains. ~ Ryou: OTP with Joey (thank my girlfriend for that one)! Notp with Yami Bakura, it’s absolutely 100% possibly my most violently-disgusted NOtp yet. Also with Diva because... What The Fuck??? But I won't rant about that just now. ~ Jess: I haven't really done much shipping, though Mistress and Trick are a hella canon, deeply bonded breeding couple. ~ Evangeline? Sorta-OTP with my gf's character Taex, though it's not exactly a ~romantic~ dynamic. Notp with Srentha, probably, considering she'd try to kill him, given the chance, and she’s pissed at Dove for marrying him.

why were you drawn to each one of your characters? Okay, listen, you can't just ask something like this and expect an easy answer! I could write an Actual Legitimate Essay on EACH ONE, because I only write a character when I'm Extremely Highkey Personally Emotionally Inspired by them!

UPDATE: I tried to summarize, I really did! But there's just so MUCH, and it turned into an essay on its own. --> https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/189837029682/why-were-you-drawn-to-each-one-of-your-characters

Summaries go like this: Dove is brave, complex enough to delve deeply in and constantly discover new facets of, and inspiring enough to create a positive experience while doing so. Srentha is fun, positive, and passionate, and legitimate ADHD representation. Leyla is a chill miracle child of creativity and quiet passion. Raven is the reason I'm still alive and perfectly reflected me at about age 14, so I have a very deep personal connection to her. Kary is so fun to explore because she's my polar opposite, as a temperamental pyrokinetic who revels in chaos and really just wants to have a good time. Evangeline is everything Dove suppresses, brought to life, so she's fun to explore as an extension of Dove! Lapis has a lot of struggles to explore and has done a lot of healing and growth that I'd like to expand on someday. Blue Diamond and Ryou Bakura were basically literally me, so I can explore the trauma and healing from their perspectives in a safe space. And Phobia? I just wanted to put characters' mettle to the test honestly, and see what would happen.

which muse is the most fun to write for? Oh, Srentha, absolutely hands down! Dove does have the best close-friends casual-fun kind of rp relationships, though. And Mistress the Mismagius has this sardonic teasing sense of humor that always makes me smile, especially with Murky (Murkrow).

is there another muse you’ve been thinking of adding or writing for? who? Oh stars, I don't need another one. =w= I've been... struggling to get my Ryou blog actually up and running for a long while now. Nobody new has inspired me lately, but I'm pretty stuck in my fandom ways.

what is something everyone should know about your muses before interacting? I stick it all in their bios! But, let's see... Dove: Even though she's Raven's half-sister, she keeps it DESPERATELY hidden, and nobody IC is supposed to know about that. Srentha is very deeply rooted in Azarathean pacifism and won't do much in battle besides help people retreat. Leyla has her father's heart condition and can't do anything too active. Kary will rarely use her powers, as conjuring even a simple spark stings her scar badly. Lapis is more than her toxic relationship! Blue Diamond is NOT the dictator she once was! Ryou does NOT want the spirit of the millennium ring in his life anymore! Jess just... sticks mostly to Sinnoh and rarely ever leaves. And Evangeline has a palpable evil aura about her; she makes SURE of it.

what’s a weird headcanon you have for each of your muses? Dove hates pie. Srentha loves colorful things. Leyla will cover everything in glitter if you let her. Kary will do anything for some good food and/or a nap. Ryou's hair is untamable. Lapis doesn't guard her gem as carefully as she should. Blue Diamond may be more emotional, but she won't sing about it as frequently as other Gems. Raven... doesn't wear underwear?

which muse has the most aus or verses? I mean, the Lapis I was writing for was 97% canon divergent. Evangeline only exists as her own person (and not merely a partition of Dove's mind) in a DCUO-compatible timeline. But I don't really do aus or verses otherwise; it's just more stressful for me.

can you sort your muses from youngest to oldest? Sorting based on the ages I'll generally play them: Leyla (8-14), Dove (15-25), Kary (18+), Ryou (19+), Srentha (20+), Jess (22+), Phobia (23+), Lapis (5k+), Blue Diamond (10k+).

which muse is most willing to fight another muse? Oh, definitely Kary. (She won't fight Dove or Leyla, even if there's a really good reason. And Srentha has this weird power of defusing her. But anyone else, she can easily be provoked to fight on a dime.) Or maybe Evangeline, who will fight anyone at any time for any reason whatsoever?

do your muses get along with each other? Evangeline gets along with nobody. Dove/Srentha/Leyla are all a very tight-knit family, and Kary considers herself Dove's sister and Leyla's aunt. I've thought about what might happen if Lapis met Blue Diamond, but I don’t have the faintest idea of how that'd go? I did start an RP once where Lapis met Dove, and I planned to have them bond over homesickness and purpose-seeking, but then I lost the ehd I had that prewritten on, and never had the heart to try rewriting it. Ryou and Jess kinda exist in their own universe's bubble. (Jess has a whole cast of Pokemon creature muses she very much gets along with, though~)

would you ship any of your muses together? who? Dove and Srentha are hella-canon endgame already, that's been decided for like 12 years!

for each muse, is there a character you wish had a blog so you could interact with them? You know, I've never really been one much for wishing like that. I do wish Dove had a stable Raven again, since both of my all-time favorite Raven rpers have left the rp circle... but that's about it, really.

have you ever considered making a multimuse/is it easier having a multimuse? I mean, my Pokemon blog has like 19 muses built into the breeding center... 8F But no, I prefer to keep my drafts, rps, and tag systems for each muse on separate sideblogs. Tumblr's tags break WAY too often to shove them all in one place. (And with a sideblog, I don't have to log in and out every time I want to check for replies!)

which muse is the most problematic towards other muses? Toss-up between Phobia and Evangeline, obviously. Blue Diamond is a reformed Gem, the way I play her. (I don't care what anyone says, THAT'S CANON as HELL too!) But Evangeline actively goes out of her way to hurt and/or sacrifice people to her own ends,

which muse is most likely to make new friends? Probably Leyla, though now that SU has sent out a message across the Gem universe that Gems are welcome on Earth, Lapis could wind up meeting quite a lot of new acquaintances. It's much harder to befriend her, though. Srentha has a lot of charismatic energy too, and he’ll go out and make friends with anyone, given the chance.

which muses’ fandom do you like the best? Ahhh, don't make me CHOOSE like that! ;; Fandom like being a fan of them, or fandom like, liking the other people in the fandom? Because Steven Universe, Teen Titans, and YuGiOh all have incredibly special places in my heart, while having Their Issues amongst the fandom... Pokemon seems to be the best mannered fandom though, especially amidst the RP community.

is there someone playing the same muse/s as you and you really look up to them? Ohgosh, well there's a blog called, I think, melancholeyes?, that plays Blue so well, it's like reading canon scenes. I did see a blog that played a Ryou I respected, but I can't remember their name... and of course Larissa and Pix played great Ravens, but each a different version.

which muse do people send the most asks for? Probably Dove, thanks in large part to Caleb!

which muse is most likely to have kids? Leyla is already Dove's kid, so... 8F

is there a rule that someone keeps breaking for your muses? Not to my knowledge, but my rules aren't strict anyways.

can you sort your muses from weakest to strongest? ...Oh, stars. How am I supposed to sort them? Well, let's try this.

Weakest to strongest in combat (based on their style of choice): Ryou, Leyla, Srentha, Phobia, Evangeline, Jess, Kary, Dove, Lapis, Blue Diamond, Raven. ( * i switched raven and blue diamond around SO many times. both are immensely powerful with god-like abilities, but raven can literally destroy reality itself. so...)

Weakest to strongest by strength of heart and character: Phobia, Evangeline, uh... Kary? Srentha...? Uh... frICK THIS ONE'S HARD. Because they're all so strong in their own ways. Probably Leyla? Next tier is probably Blue, Lapis, and Jess, and Dove, Raven, and Ryou are highest tier.

which muse are you considering deleting? Phobia, and maybe sometimes Blue. (I actually... never got a single RP or follower on Blue. I'm still debating if I really WANT to rp as her, at least on Tumblr, knowing how toxic the fandom can get around the Diamonds...)

most importantly, are you having fun playing each one of your muses? Pretty much! Especially Dove, Srentha, Leyla, and Raven!~ Raven's wit and clipped verbiage can be tricky to for me sometimes, but all it takes is a little tlc on her dialogue, and it doesn't slow down my enjoyment one bit. :} And when I'm in a Pokemon-hyperfocus mood, writing the Pokemon team is ALWAYS a blast! (Especially the Pokemon; their personalities are so dynamic together.) With muses like Lapis and Blue, and even Kary, the mood for their emotionality waxes and wanes, but I don't write for them unless I'm in The Right Frame of Mind to KEEP UP with them, you know? I never push myself in an rp until it's not fun anymore; at least I know where my writing burnout limits are.

Phobia and Evangeline are both sadistic, and when you're a compassionate person, that can be very hard to write out in the painstaking detail of my style. But sometimes my mind just Won't Shut UP about 'Vangie unless I WRITE IT OUT. Which is a good exercise of course, stretching my horizons and all that, and I do love writing the drama and conflict they stir up.

But beyond the momentary discomforts, I'm just so eager to explore their lives and minds and adventures, so yes, I absolutely DO have fun writing for each and every one!

#ooc rebloggables #questions list

[imagineifmattyhealy-blog]

II.

“Look, Eva.” He rubbed his hands over his face, falling back into the seat he had previously occupied. “I know that this looks bad, but,” putting his hands out in front of him- always so dramatic- “if you would just let me explain.”

“Oh, I will, that’s why you’re here and also for me to tell you that that was the most shittest set up that I had ever heard of in my life.”

“Look, George was bringing Caroline, Adam was bringing Carly and Ross was going to bring Katie as his plus because he assumed you were already going, so, he didn’t want to leave her out, but I just felt if that happened and I was with Gabby then it’d have been you that would have been left out and I didn’t want that to happen.” He stuttered as he spoke, either because he ferociously racking his brain for more lies or because he was so nervous that he was taken aback, she believed it to be the former.

“Oh so this was for my benefit?” She pointed a stiletto-nailed finger to her chest. “See, I find that really hard to believe because, first of all, I wouldn’t have been left out because, as far as I know –and correct me if I’m wrong –Ross and Katie are not a couple and are both completely single, as am I according to the outside world, so I wouldn’t have been left out because I would have been with my other single friends. Also, Caroline, Carly and Gabby were a last minute thing due to Caroline informing me of that, so if there was difficulty for someone to remember to have my name on the guest list weeks prior, then surely it would have been more trouble to add people onto a guest list five days before hand.” Her voice was increasingly getting louder as she spoke. “And, let’s not forget, your mum calling because she was upset that I couldn’t make it tonight because she told me that’s what you told her.” It was in that moment that he knew he had completely fucked up and had no idea what to say.

“Right, well it was just going to be tight-knitted and we all thought-“

“We? So if I call George right now he can verify this ‘we’, can he?”

“Fine!” He was getting aggravated, which she noticed from him gritting his teeth, something he tended to do when he became annoyed. “I thought it would just be best to take you and Katie off the guest list and we’d all meet up afterwards and go get a drink.” She threw her head back with an exasperated laugh.

“So why not tell your mum that instead of lying to her also?” Again, he was lost for words. “I’ll tell you why, because it wasn’t your decision.”  

“You what?” He tucked a curl behind his ear, something he did when he was stressed or nervous.

“This fabrication of a lie came about because it wasn’t your decision to officially un-invite me from the ball –it was Gabby’s.” She stated as a matter-of-fact.

“Oh, now you’re just talking rubbish.”

“You’re still lying, Matthew.” She sang before taking another sip of her wine.

“Fucking hell!” He shot up from his seat, he was losing his temper, he wasn’t in the mood to be interrogated, he wasn’t a child, he was also fully aware of what he had done and he didn’t fancy suffering the consequences. “Are you really that fucking annoyed about not being able to go to some stupid fucking ball?” There was the Matthew she knew, short-tempered and unable to conjure up a sentence without at least one curse word vacating it. Also, completely, overly-defensive when he knew he had done something wrong.

“No!” Shooting up as well, wine tipping out from the glass she had clenched in her hand, just how angry she was, was very apparent to him now. “I’m annoyed because you would rather have your girlfriend of twenty minutes accompany you to the ball rather than me, someone who has been in your life for almost nine years now.”

“For fuck sake, as I have already said, Caroline and Carly were there with their boyfriends so I got this crazy idea and thought ‘hey, why don’t I take my girlfriend as well?’ imagine that aye?” He yelled, walking past her for another small bottle of wine from the mini bar.

“Caroline and Carly never told their boyfriends to make sure I didn’t come because they don’t have a problem with me, Gabby does.” She yelled back, following him.

“Gabby didn’t tell me to do anything.” She scoffed.

“Aw, how sweet, defending your little girlfriend.” She mocked. “Do you tuck her in at night and read her a bed time story –she’s fucking young enough for it.”

“What the fuck’s her age got to do with it?” He looked at her incredulously. “Aw do you know what, grow up, Eva. I’m going, I’m not listening to this.” He began to walk to the door, but she wasn’t letting him get away with it.

“Yeah that’s so typical, Matty, I catch you out in your web of lies and you turn it around on me, acting like a wounded fucking soldier, as per usual.”

“Do you want me to say sorry? Hmm? Fine, I’m sorry. Now, let George or someone know if you’re coming or not and meet us down in the bar when you’ve fucking calmed down because I can’t be arsed with you tonight.” He reached for the door handle and yanked the door open, making it a point to emphasise his rage.

“I’ll let Gabby know. In fact, I’ll let her know everything.” He stopped, she knew that would make him stop.

Slowly he turned to look at her, a smug complexion meeting his full of dread.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, since she thinks it’s acceptable to intrude on my life and my friends and has now decided to add dictating my whereabouts to her list of being a little fucking cow, it’s only fair that I intrude on her happiness and let her know what it is her boyfriend really gets up to when he’s going for a ‘quick lie down’, or should I say, who he’s lying down with.” She crossed her arms, she smirked at him, and she was dead serious.

“Don’t be so fucking irrational. You’re not going to tell her.” Sighing, he closed the door and went back to retrieve his wine that seemed so essential right now.

“Don’t tell me what I will be and won’t be doing.” One thing she hated was being told what to do, and he knew that, but he also knew that it annoyed her deeply. As much as he wanted this argument to come to an end, he just couldn’t help pushing her buttons, it was a defence mechanism.

“I’ll do what I fucking like.”

“And so will I.”

Childish elements. They always played a part in their fights.

“You’re not going to tell anyone anything because I know you, Eve, and you don’t want people thinking badly of you. Do you want me thinking badly of you?” He rested his hand on his hip and crossed his left foot over his right foot as he looked at her with a bored expression. Patronising.

“To be honest, Matthew, I couldn’t really give a fuck what you thought about me anymore because your perception of me, recently, hasn’t given me the impression that it’s a high one. I’m just the fucking idiot who allows you a quick shag whenever you fancy it.”

“Now you’re just feeling sorry for yourself.” He scoffed. “And because you’re so annoyed over not being invited to a fucking party, you want to self-destruct and hurt everybody else surrounding you.”

“Sorry, did you become a psychologist over night?” She asked, sarcastically. “And, I don’t care if I hurt Gabby, it’s not exactly like we’re the best of mates is it?”

“No, but you’re willing to hurt me.” He was back to being serious now, intimidating her with his hard stare and his raised voice, she wouldn’t let him know that, though, she was finished.

“Well, it’s not like you care when you’re willing to hurt me!” She screamed back, instantly, her demeanour cracking. “Every. Chance. Every fucking chance you get!” It wasn’t until he was darting to the side, landing on the hotel bed, that she had realised how angry she was, so angry that she hadn’t even realised that she had tried to throw her glass at his head until it hit the wall and smashed into pieces. She was so taken aback by her own actions that a tear managed to break free from her tear ducts and run down her cheek. She turned away, wiped ferociously at her face then let out a breath, hands on her hips.

He was quiet. He was shocked. His wide-eyed expression watched her. She composed herself, walked to one of the bottom cupboards that concealed the small rubbish bin and pulled out a small brush and shovel before walking over to the mess that she made and began to pick up the pieces.

“This is my heart, Matthew, all because of you and your selfish ways, and this is me, literally picking up the pieces, every time.” She was too busy concentrating on containing the sob that threatened to come out of her mouth that she hadn’t realised she had cut her hand until it had happened.

“Shit!” She winced, sucking at the blood.

He moved then, saw what she had done and his instant reaction was to help her. It was always to help her, why did she think so differently?

He bent down and attempted to take her hand from her lips and bring it to his face for closer inspection but she would not allow for him to act so sweet and courageous when she knew fine well that that wasn’t him. She used to think that he was like that but now she knew that he wasn’t. He was heartless.

“Don’t touch me.” She yanked her hand from his and stood, walking to the sink to let her cut palm run under the cool water of the sink tap.

He sighed and looked down to the mess, continuing to finish where she left off and picked it up. He was tired of this conversation, they had had it too many times, and every time he told her ‘one day’, ‘they just kept missing each other’, ‘the timing was off’. The reality was that he knew she wanted more, he knew that she was so deeply in love with him and it hurt him because he did feel the same way but he just couldn’t admit it so freely the way that she could.

When they first met she was only fifteen and he was your average run-of-the-mill, frontman of an amateur band at nineteen that had got to the point where he had lost count of how many girls he had had sex with, he could probably walk past many of them in the street and not recognise a single one or even remember their names. He didn’t have the faintest of idea why they even ended up the way they did, she was four years younger than him, that was a fucked up thing to get into in that day and age. The first time it happened, he sat for days in his house, shitting himself, smoking joints to calm his nerves, but in the end they just made him more paranoid that the police were going to end up at his door and arrest him for statutory rape. And, it wasn’t even as though he could use the excuse that she had lied about her age or he thought she was older because he knew she was fifteen, he knew she was a virgin. They were both rats arsed- her being a lightweight, him having drank and smoked all day- and they were flirting, and joking, and touching, and the next thing he knew they were in Ross’ toilet, shagging in the most sloppily way he could ever imagine himself doing. He couldn’t imagine it was brilliant for her either. It was uncomfortable – she was sat atop the sink, his hip bones ramming into the marble structure of it, nowhere really to steady himself in his drunken state, it was a wonder how he was even able to get her up on the sink without falling over his feet. It was a mess. And he felt like a mess after it.

Once he got over the thought of spending the rest of his life in jail, he finally left the house, much to his mother’s relief, and had a couple of band practices and went to a few more parties. She was there at each one but he swiftly avoided her. Until, one day, she was at George’s house, with her best mate, Katie –George was shagging her –and he couldn’t really avoid her then. They talked, she told him he had nothing to worry about, they laughed about it, she got embarrassed, he took the mick out of her, she playfully hit him, and then it happened again, this time in his van. It kept happening, over and over. Over time, they built on a friendship out of the circumstances, and she even became one of his best mates –sometimes the only person he could talk to. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help himself. Something about this girl drove him mad. He made himself believe it was because she acted a lot older than she was that it was okay. He made himself feel better about it by sleeping with other girls, then going back and sleeping with her. He felt withdrawal symptoms when she wasn’t about and he got annoyed when she didn’t give him attention when she was –she’d do that sometimes. He got angry when she spoke to other guys or knew that other guys were interested. He’d take it out on her, claiming that it was her fault, she was acting like a ‘fucking slag’. She’d scream at him, tell him that he was the biggest man whore that she knew. He’d call her immature, a child. She’d hit him, sometimes she’d cry and he’d comfort her, and then they would be back to how it started. Sex.

He knew that, somewhere along the line –probably very early on but he wouldn’t like to admit it –that feelings developed on both parts. But, that scared him, so he got with other girls but still told her that she was his, that she was special. He knew that that would keep her around if he ever wanted her, admittedly, that was a lot. She got a boyfriend, he started to ignore her, angry with her for doing that to him, and she got angry at him for ignoring her. It was a vicious cycle. When she was eighteen, they had, yet again, another argument, him blurting out that he loved her which took her aback. That resulted in the end of her relationship. She told her boyfriend she just didn’t feel the same. She hoped that they would get together then but they didn’t. She knew that he was just happy to have her all to himself again, whilst he continued on with his ways, hurting her even more.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with her, he did –he really did. It was that he knew how much he was hurting her now with them not even being official, and he hated to think of how much more he could hurt her if they were together. Because, if they were then it became all too real. Yes, the good bits would feel good –possibly even better –and it wouldn’t be wrong but he was scared that the bad bits would stay bad. He slept with other girls knowing that he loved her and she loved him, even had two or three girlfriends to rub in her face, he didn’t want to do that if they were a couple but he was scared that he wouldn’t be able to help himself. Then, there was the distance. He travelled a lot more now and she couldn’t always be with him. If he had it his way then she would be, but she wanted to make something of her life, not follow her rock star mates around the world. When she left school, she started university in Glasgow, and he hardly ever saw her, but when he did, they certainly made up for lost time. Then the band’s success took off and before he knew it he was jetting off to America, different parts of Europe and even Australia. She joined them on tour when she could, and, at first, it was exciting, travelling the world together, but, they were always in each other’s company which led to bickering, and sometimes, even full-blown arguments where she threatened to go home and, sometimes, she actually did. So, they were like a couple in quite a lot of ways, but Gemma came and went, then Gabby, and they were good excuses to hold off on giving her what she wanted. He wouldn’t say he didn’t love either of them, but, he didn’t to the same extent that he loved her, they would never have come close, much to Gabby’s dismay.

Gemma she liked, Gabby she didn’t. Gabby didn’t like her either, though. Which made life a little bit tougher for him. She was always complaining that Gabby was giving her dirty looks, trying to take her friends and him away from her, didn’t see why anyone put up with her. Overall, she just thought she was an unnecessary nuisance that didn’t really have to be there but it was his fault that she was. Similarly, Gabby was the same when it came to her. She was aware that they had history and she didn’t like that. Accusing him of still sleeping with her even though he told her repeatedly that he wasn’t –lying. Told him that she didn’t like the way that they acted together in her company and as his girlfriend he would have to respect that. So, he did. He stopped acting the way that he did with her in Gabby’s presence. But, that annoyed her more. Told him that Gabby was out to ruin his life and, ultimately, even if they stopped what they did, they couldn’t even be friends anymore. He was caught in between them. Both of which he cared for very much. He needed Gabby because she was good for him, and stopped him from fully committing to her, but he needed her point blank. He needed all of her. Contradictory.

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Second part :) hope you enjoy!

P.s, i would like to mention that I like Gabby, it’s just the context of the fic from the main girl’s characters (Eva) point of view. 

#matty healy #george daniel #Ross Macdonald #Adam Hann #the 1975 #matty healy imagine #matty healy fanfiction #george daniel imagine #the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic writing #imagine