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dancermk · 5 months

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HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

#fellow travelers #hawk and tim #hawkins fuller #tim laughlin #hawk and skippy #matt bomer #jonathan bailey #lgbtqia #queer media

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badaziraphaletakes · 2 months

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can you please stop? screenshotting someone else’s post is extremely rude and only makes the fandom a worse place. talk about a bad take you saw, describe how it’s harmful, and vague all you want, but don’t screenshot. i agree that most of these takes are awful but that’s no excuse to do this to people. either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post. stop screenshotting, please.

Either confront the person who’s take you don’t like or make your own post.

The assumption that I didn’t try that is where you went wrong. I (mod X) started this blog only after I tried many, many times to confront people about their offensive takes directly and it didn’t work. I was subjected to appalling harassment and even bigotry. That’s what happens when you try to engage with someone who’s being offensive.

I had been throwing the idea around for weeks and what finally decided me on starting it was that I found out that I wasn't alone. That the anti-Autistic bias and the ableism and the transphobia and the victim-blaming and the misogyny (and on and on and on) that we kept seeing and being subjected to was ruining our enjoyment of this show. This was bigger than just me.

FTR, most of the takes that are submitted to us (note that I'll be switching between "I" and "we" in this reply depending on the context) don’t have a handle attached to them, but of the few that do include a handle, 99% of the time I have recognized it as someone who I have seen being so bigoted that there was no possible way I could engage with them. We don't confront people directly partly because we don't want to direct people who disagree back to the OP's blog, and partly to keep the mods safe.

You say “do this to people” like this blog is committing some kind of outrage, which is absurd. We are, at worst, being slightly rude (which I think is justified considering sarcasm and humor are one of the only weapons we have to fight back against hate), whereas most of the posts we comment on are outright hateful. They’re the ones “doing this to people”.

We are being far more considerate of the writers’ feelings and their dignity than they ever were of other people’s in the fandom. The takes are not just ‘awful’ (although, that too haha); they are actively harming vulnerable members of the fandom, and, more concerningly, are spreading messages that will poison our views on how we should treat Autistic people, ab*se survivors, and the like in broader society. Quite frankly, the people who are spouting the kind of anti-Autistic/ableist/victim-blaming/otherwise bigoted crap that forms the bulk of the content we feature here deserve to have their posts screenshotted. People who say things like that do not deserve to be handled with kid gloves in response.

(Also I don’t have time to re-type and slightly paraphrase every bad take I see. And if I did, people would throw out “no one is really saying this”. And even if it weren’t for that, I don’t think it’s reasonable or appropriate to expect me to use my time that way.)

Incidentally, nothing is stopping people from messaging/asking us or commenting if they recognize a post as their own, but only one person has ever done that, asking if a post was theirs. I replied that it was, leaving the ball in their court. So far we haven’t heard back from them about the matter, which is fine. But I digress.

As for this blog making the fandom a worse place - even though it’s only a few weeks old, I’ve had an average of two new people a day, every day, tell me how grateful they are I created it and how it makes them feel safe and how it’s the only reason they haven’t left the fandom. I’ve even had multiple people say “I was going to leave the fandom because of that specific post and then your blog called it out and I felt like I wasn’t alone”. So yeah, I'd say screenshotting is important here.

There is a subset of the fandom - many of us Autistic, Disabled, ab*se survivors, GNC, trans, and/or otherwise oppressed - who have been made to feel EXTRAORDINARILY unsafe by the Aziraphale hate (which far, far too often is thinly-veiled hate for some of the aforementioned groups of people) and the truly scary way people double down when we push back against it. So I don’t care if people are annoyed by my sharing a screenshot of their post. Not when this blog has become a safe space for so many people who otherwise would have had Good Omens ruined for them by the bigotry and general hatefulness we keep seeing.

LSS I will not stop building this tiny lil corner of the internet that is the only part of the fandom where many of us feel safe.

I actually made a post addressing almost this exact thing a couple weeks ago; if I can find it, I’ll add it here in a rb.

#good omens #goodomens #good omens 2 #badaziraphaletakes #goodomens2

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sukunasbabygirl · 1 year

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I think something that needs to be understood is that Wittebane fans understand that the brothers and Evelyn aren’t the main characters of the show, we understand the true focus is on characters like Luz, Eda, King, the Hexsquad etc, I mean I love those characters just as much.

The reason I’m personally frustrated, and many other enjoyers of the wittelore are as well, is because it was genuinely built up. We weren’t fixated on small crumbs, we were fixated on an entire story that was relevant to the world of the isles today and the characters today, we were fixated on something that made the antagonist both irredeemable yet human. Which, sidenote, I’ve made a few posts before on why it’s important that we have more villains who are both humanised yet irredeemable and why I loved Philip for that, so you can imagine how he was treated in the finale bothered me quite a bit, I digress however.

In Thanks to Them especially there were set ups that we never really got answers for, and there is a difference between show not tell and… show half of it but not the rest, which feels like what they did. We don’t actually know how Caleb found his way to the isles, or why there were clues to find the Titan blood, or how Philip got there afterward, being as he seemed to have arrived later than Caleb but had no idea in TTT where the Titan blood was. These all feel like questions that could be given very quick answers too.

They hinted at Philip’s guilt multiple times but never really went anywhere with it, and with how the finale played out, it would be better if they just didn’t show it at all. And I have so many feelings about how his death played out but I’m struggling to word them all right now, I know it was the intent to humiliate him and that’s fine, but the way it was executed was such a jarring tonal flip and to me at least, narratively, didn’t feel all that satisfying in the long run?

Also the fact that it’s confirmed now that the Titan was looking out for Luz… does bother me a lot, considering the early themes of the show. The fact they were just two humans who made their choices, and Luz looked to the sky and saw the light and Philip didn’t, it made them so interesting as foil characters, especially as Philip believed the isles was hiding the glyphs from him. But that was the thing, it wasn’t, at least not originally.

Back to the Wittebanes though, you can absolutely leave most of their story vague and told through portraits while also addressing the stuff that probably should be known, and honestly I feel like removing the Collector would allow this. I don’t hate the Collector, when he was originally introduced I found them fascinating as a character, for both his parallels to Philip and to Luz, but in the end, he didn’t exactly add much narrative or theme-wise to the story, which wouldn’t be a problem if these weren’t the final episodes, and he honestly felt under-utilised. Also there’s so many little confusing contradictions with their character. I feel like he could have been written to tie in with the wittelore and also remain a foil to Luz which would have worked well, but in the end it came off as very messy and the storylines didn’t really connect, which is a bit of a problem for a finale.

I know the show was cancelled and cut short, but the Collector we know was a decision made after they found this out, so it feels like we may have gotten more wittelore originally, which would have kept the story and themes cohesive. I think I’m starting to repeat myself now, and I’ve gone off on a bit of an unrelated tangent. I just have so many thoughts and nowhere to put them, and this episode really didn’t feel like The Owl House to me, it just lacked that same emotional flare that focused more on character and story beats in big fights than the shock value or enormity.

I wasn’t so keen on For the Future after rewatching and I think a lot of the arguably wasted screen time during that episode, causing a lack of proper set up for this episode, definitely affected things.

I love this show and I always will, and if you enjoyed the episode then I am so glad you did, these are just my own personal, very complicated feelings on things.

#toh critical #the owl house critical #toh #the owl house #toh criticism #hopefully most people have the critical tags blocked I don’t wish to make people feel negatively if they enjoyed it and don’t feel the same #toh spoilers

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neptunedivine · 1 year

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midheaven observations pt. 1

hi everyone! I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to talk about some midheaven observations I’ve made mentally. I know these aren’t all of them, but these were on my mind at the time. I hope you enjoy the read! :)

aries midheaven ✧ People with this angle either want to be/are the first to do something in their profession or the best at their profession (actually I feel like this could be said for all prominent Aries placements, but I digress). As someone with the placement, I feel like it’s very important for natives to be passionate about their career. Unless they will not want to pursue it.

ex: Celine Dion ✧ Celine Dion has this midheaven and she’s regarded as one of the greatest vocalists of all time. Also, have you heard her sing other songs other than My Heart Will Go On? There’s nothing wrong with that song, it’s a classic for a reason. But I don’t think it displays how fiery her voice is when she sings. Listen to Treat Her Like a Lady, she sounds incredible.

taurus midheaven ✧ Those with Taurus ruling their midheaven will most likely find careers in beauty/beautifying, the arts, and finance. Sidereally, people who have Taurus placements are commonly Aries placements in sidereal astrology (as someone who has her moon in Taurus tropically, but her moon in Aries sidereally). I think the passion and “all or nothing” attitude Aries midheavens have toward their career comes through for Taurus midheavens, but instead of translating as impatience, I see it as stubbornness. Like they won’t get up and storm off if they don’t like what they’re doing careerwise, instead they might do it but they’ll complain the whole time. They also won’t put as much effort into their profession as if they cared about their work.

ex: Tyler the Creator ✧ Have you seen the Jimmy Kimmel interview where Tyler talks about his two jobs before fully committing to music? (I’ll link it below). Not only is it hilarious, but Tyler also explains that he wasn’t happy at either of his jobs. At most he did the minimum to make an income, but he didn’t really care for it. Comparing this to how he talks about his music career, there’s a wild difference. He looks so happy and not only that but excited for the work and projects he gets to do not only in the music industry (which in itself expands past making albums and singles as he scored for a fashion show and for The Grinch film in 2018) but for his brand Golf le Fleur that expands into beauty with fragrances and fashion with the apparel and shoewear he creates (he also has some collaborations with Converse I believe). And, he’s very invested in his collections. I think I saw him geeking over this very rare Gucci or Cartier watch that’s really hard to get but he was gifted it. He’s very proud of his collections and he cares about them a lot (makes sense with Taurus not only being the traditional ruler of the 2H which rules over personal wealth, finances, self-worth, possessions, etc but is opposite Scorpio in the natal chart which in my opinion, I view as very possessive and those traits can be seen in its sister sign). It warms my heart tbh.

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scorpio ascendant + leo midheaven ✧ How much do you guys like the spotlight? Like actually? (no, I’m not talking to the Sagittarius risings with a Leo midheaven, I know you guys want that limelight 😂). I feel like it’s not too much, though you always end up getting the attention. I wonder if this is more of an emphasis on the Scorpio Pluto generation than the Sagittarius Pluto generation. I’m not saying this still won’t apply, but I question if it’s to a lesser extent since the Scorpio Pluto generation would have Pluto in their first house rather than their second house. That air of mystery and isolation could be stronger. I feel like I only see you guys when you’re pursuing your profession, almost to get it over with? Like “dang I got to walk this red carpet it’s a part of my job”, you could mask it well but I don’t think you guys really want to be there. As much as you guys may not like it, you’re very talented at what you do.

ex: Frank Ocean ✧ This man casually dropped diamonds (not gems, DIAMONDS) and then he dipped. I feel like his “prime” (I don't like using that term because I have hope he’ll release something again) is regarded so highly. All of his very limited performances, releases, and interview(s?) are put on pedestals and watched over and over again. It almost doesn’t feel right to say he’s one of the greatest in the music industry, in my opinion, because his career lives in its own domain. I haven’t seen a songwriter really compare to him since, other than SZA (i love them both so much it’s insane).

aries ascendant + capricorn midheaven v. capricorn ascendant + libra midheaven ✧ I think all cardinal midheavens have the advantage of having their placement because it allows them to stick to their plans and achieve their goals (the same can be said for fixed midheavens too). But to what extent, depends on what sign is ruling.

ex: Ariana Grande ✧ If we were to look at Ariana Grande, for example, she has a Libra midheaven and a Capricorn ascendant. So she’s set up well for career success and achieving her goals (which is true, she doesn’t have that many fame indicators in her chart, but she does believe in manifestation and has put in the hard work to achieve a lot of her success in the music industry and the perfume industry. Yes, I know she has well-off parents, but do you know how many nepotism babies have the money and still sit on their a**? Yeah…). But, I don’t know if being a businesswoman is as strong of a desire for her as presenting a beautiful aesthetic (which there’s nothing wrong with that!). This can be seen recently with how people feel about R.E.M beauty. Yes, it’s pretty, I’m a sucker for the space aesthetic. But I’ve seen on many occasions where people are not satisfied with the quality of her products.

ex: Rihanna ✧ Now if we look at Rihanna, she's also a very successful woman in the music industry. (I looked them both up on Spotify and Ariana sits at 4th in the world for the number of monthly listeners she has and Rihanna sits at 10th, that’s amazing omg). I think other than Fenty Beauty, she had one perfume launch and a clothing brand that she abandoned…anyway. Fenty Beauty is the most commercially successful celebrity makeup brand, with revenues grossing $570 million. I think with Aries in combination with Capricorn here, paired with the business mindset and goals, there’s again the need to be the first and/or best at what you do. Rihanna shows this with Fenty Beauty and the Fenty brand not only with its massive success but with its inclusivity, from the models she chooses and the shade inclusivity of her makeup products.

✧ I think the difference in these ascendant and midheaven combinations is that with Aries and Capricorn, if the first goal doesn’t work, they’re quick to realize that, ditch it, and move on to the next plan for their success. I feel like that’s what Rihanna did with her fashion brand. With the Libra and Capricorn combination, there’s still a high rate for success, but I don’t think the need for success and winning especially is as strong. I feel as long as everything looks pretty and is going well to their standards, these placements are content.

that’s all for now. if you want to send me a placement that you’d like my observation on, you can leave your requests in my ask box! Please only send three placements per ask, but you can send multiple asks. It just makes it less overwhelming for me. see you later! 💕

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yourqueenb · 5 months

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Saw someone say that Nia keeping secret was validated by Tyrils whole dilemma and shit behavior about it and yeah soooo true but also I think that. It shouldn't have been part of MCs plot. Like what if it wasn't MC who was told to keep her shadow secret but MAL.... like they have spent most of the year together they worked closely on the ophranage so plenty of time to build more trust between each other and Mal acting weird and closed off would be at least somewhat justified... as well as his sort of immunity to shadow attack like what if Nia had the ability to shield him bc he knew about her powers and didn't need explanation. Like I'm actually so pissed off that they created unnecessary drama for MC when the set up was already there that would have had deepened two LIs arcs and test their bonds with the group and MC.. but no its always annoying variation of liar reveal

I read this ask yesterday I think and have really been contemplating how I want to respond to it because I have so many thoughts and don’t want this to turn into a lengthy, disorganized mess 🤦🏽‍♀️ But anyway, from an objective standpoint this does make sense. And I do hate that MC was held responsible instead of Nia. (Although it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I thought everyone would be angry with us, which would’ve put me off Mal specifically even more considering his behavior so far — more on that later though. But it was really just Tyril if you picked one option and Nia herself if you picked the other based on some screenshots I saw. Which bitch, how is MC betraying your confidence when you’re literally standing in front of everyone looking like lit charcoal on a damn grill??? The secret’s already out! But I digress…). However, I know that Nia being coddled is a part of her arc and is contributing to her current shadow state and overall growth regardless of how annoying it is.

Back to your main point though, on a personal level I don’t think I would want Mal to be the one hiding Nia’s secret because I feel that would create a lot of potential for romantic undertones and he’s already been showing less genuine concern for MCs who are romancing him than he should anyway imo. He keeps saying he thought we were dead/going to die, he’s happy we’re back, things were so hard without us, etc., yet his actions don’t actually align with that. He wants to protect everyone so much to the point he’s willing to “sacrifice himself”, but he barely reacts to MC continuously being placed in near death situations? Idk it just feel like we’re priority #974127 on his list.

And then there’s the whole “you slept through it” situation, which I know I keep bringing up but is so serious in my eyes! He gets to diminish and dismiss what MC went through — something we don’t get to do when he’s crying about how hard it was throughout that year and us being ripped from the group was what caused the hardship in the first place! Like imagine if we were like “You didn’t have it that hard, Mal. You got to move on, continue to rob the rich, and open an orphanage while I was strapped down getting my blood drained and no one came to save me” 😐 And the sad thing is that I know it will never be addressed because it was something they used as a throwaway line to punish people who didn’t have the Inspire skill. (Which why you would make a character say something that damn cruel to the MC who is his friend or love interest as a throwaway line is beyond me, but whatever). Either way, my point is that it’s already bad enough that MC still feels like an outsider in the group (to me at least). So Mal being so closed off because he and Nia were keeping secrets on top of everything I just mentioned would be even worse imo

#choices bolas #choices blades #blades of light and shadow #mal volari #playchoices #and I know this is basically only talking about his route in relation to people who are romancing him #people who aren’t or who are romancing multiple LIs probably feel differently #but I can only speak on how I view the story from the lens of a person who is solely pursuing him #and I know this got a bit off topic so I apologize for that #but as I said I have a lot of thoughts #I actually still have more to say but I’m ending it here because I don’t want this post to get any longer #and I also have to cook dinner 🤦🏽‍♀️#but I’m just gonna make a new post to expand on everything later #choices #choices stories you play #choices app #choices ask

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bookscandlesnbts · 5 months

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Hi ! Just wanted to share this thought:) looks like team Jimin are still filming a MV yesterday and today! Jimin really works so hard

To be delulu for a second, much like jk being in Korea for jms birthday (even though he had schedule) it’s nice that Jimin was back in Korea for golden, even though he couldn’t go, because at least he could watch it with no time zone restrictions etc (and maybe see jk after who knows;))

I don’t think this is make or break for them

Hi anon. I saw that it looks like Jimin is filming something again!!! I’m really curious about when his new music and projects will drop. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. Namjoon has been working too and maybe even Tae. Part of me is like okay they can’t leave us in a drought for all of 2024 but also it will be weird to get content knowing that they can’t actively promote it. I’m so torn, and time is running out that it’s all making me anxious.

I’m always here for the delulu. I don’t doubt for a second that Jimin wanted to be at the show. That’s why he commented to praise JK when he was shirtless and to hype up his favorite song. On that note, I dont think Jimin liking Hate You means anything personal. The two of them love ballads and tbh JK sounds the best and most like himself on that song. He shines on it vocally in my opinion even if the song is a little basic. I digress. Anyway, I’m sure they ended up seeing each other. I kinda expected Jungkook to go live on Weverse and found it a little sus that he didn’t. But wait, ARMY is his priority right? Above all the members? 🤣🤣🤣 that has to be one of the dumbest narratives I’ve heard recently. We aren’t shit to them on a personal level, let’s be transparent here.

It’s definitely not a make or break. Just like it wasn’t when Jungkook wasn’t at Jimin’s music shows. Everyone wants to turn everything into something that is a criminal offense when it’s not that deep. It never was. The members of BTS are working professionals with a decade of experience in their field. They know how to conduct themselves and how to perform. Kinda insulting to otherwise act like they would fall apart if they don’t get “support” in the physical sense. Yes, I think Jikook are in a long term relationship, but they can’t be with each other every second. I’m single but if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t expect my partner to drop everything at their job that day because I have to give a particularly nerve wracking lecture or talk in front of my coworkers. Everyone needs to get a grip. This isn’t a romance novel or a fanfiction. This is real life. People have shit to do. Jimin has shit to do. He is a supportive loving boyfriend. AND SO IS JUNGKOOK. Fuck anyone sending me asks insinuating otherwise. I agree with another blogger on here who talked about this recently. Jungkook is super emotionally invested in Jikook and Jimin is his rock. Idc whether you think they fuck or not, Jimin is IT for Jungkook. Jimin is the sun that brightens his day and the moon that illuminates his night. Period.

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deathsbestgirl · 1 year

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okay it’s time i talk about LAZARUS. i just think this is a very underrated episode. cuz where fire showcases the differences between scully & phoebe green, lazarus does the opposite and broadcasts mulder’s & jack willis’s similarities — painting mulder as scully’s ~type~ and it makes me want to scream. it is SO aggressive. and while i think cc didn’t want the romance to overtake the show (he knew very well their relationship & chemistry were extremely important) the fact this episode made it through him & aired is no accident. (also team cc was in love with dd & ga and was just as into mulder & scully as any of us. but he’s stubborn & was too steadfast in not sexualizing ga/scully [mostly] or their relationship but i digress.)

the first scene actually kills me. her conversation with willis sounds so much like one she would have with mulder, and i’m not good at identifying straight flirting whatsoever (mulder & scully do NOT fall into that category lol)

i can feel them; i’m inside their heads.

just as long as you keep yours.

message received, agent scully. loud and clear.

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM. the way he says this is FLIRTING. and as serious as he can be about it. more him than her but i love it because it’s not about taking it anywhere. it’s the flirting of two people who used to date & know each other & still have a good friendship. like idk, it’s just so sweet. (and like the foreshadowing — as in obviously the whole case but later when mulder is listening to his tapes?? he already didn’t ~have~ his head. AND this is another reason i love this case, because at the end of the day, the viewer gets to decide what the “truth” was. because i think everything lines up for willis being in so deep & the trauma causing his erratic behavior OR it very well could have been dupre as mulder believes.)

what i love about scully is she dated this man, she cares for him, they have maintained some kind of friendship & professional relationship — and it doesn’t seem like she holds anything against him. like she genuinely still likes & cares for him and i love seeing “failed” relationships where there’s no animosity between them. they just. didn’t work out romantically and they accept each other as they are and ??? this actually is a little gay. but anyway. what i really wanted to say was how scully’s sincerity & genuine caring always blow me away. i love her.

SO when dupre shoots willis — scully shoots the man THREE TIMES. and the look on her face. she is absolutely enraged. it wasn’t merely professional. that was personal. (and it pales in comparison to what scully does for mulder but a little taste, showing it’s something consistent with the men in her life.)

[side note — i’ve watched this a million times and every time i was confused by dupre’s real face lmao every time i was like “who tf is this guy”]

[scully’s type: older, some authority over her, extremely intelligent, passionate, driven. who she greatly respects & typically respects her. workaholics. good hearts, tender souls. the three men we actually see fit this in their own ways but literallyyyyy jack & mulder are so similar it’s A Lot.]

i love that anytime scully walks into a medical setting, she acts like she owns the place and she does whatever she has to to override the actual doctors in charge. incredible.

i’m a doctor. go up to 400 or i’ll do it myself.

and i extra love this one because obviously she was assisting on this case to help her friend, but not working with mulder is already extremely wrong at this point (after squeeze) that she immediately brings mulder in as soon as she has a good excuse. incredible.

i love every exchange with mulder & scully in this episode because the way the butt heads over theories is just. THEM. and i’m sorry but scully’s make perfect sense & they fit and this coming on the heels of beyond the sea and “i’m afraid to believe” is really special. she’s most afraid to believe (i think?) when it’s close & personal. for her or for mulder. and we get to see the fear up close & personal this time around, and yeah, hidden behind some skepticism but i think this is the first time it’s obvious that it’s fear.

two men died in that crash room, scully. one man came back. the question is…which one?

sometimes it seems like mulder is being an ass, so obsessed with the paranormal & lacking empathy. but really, he only focuses on the paranormal & pushes his theories when he really thinks he’s right (which is a lot of the time, but he is willing to concede [thanks to sculy] when the evidence truly doesn’t line up). and it works because they both compartmentalize and scully needs that on a case like this.

[also, it seems unnatural for scully to call him willis. jack rolls off her tongue so intimately and it feels similar to mulder & scully using their last names. an intimacy for them, and a very private, special intimacy when they use each other’s first name. they don’t typically let anyone hear them say it. do you know what i mean? the way they make names so personal & intimate on this show is kinda wild to me. especially interesting in season two when mulder meets her family.]

the humor when they go see dr. varnes is top tier. he tells the story about the pilot (a truly horrible thing) and mulder just says “that’s a nice story” lmaoooo

(i also always want to know if the science is accurate. scully talking about near death experiences? what varnes says about the burst of energy? i know absolutely nothing about any science but god i wish that was a special interest of mine sometimes lol)

and my favoriteeeee part. scully telling mulder about willis.

…jack’s personality.

how well do you know him?

we dated for almost a year. he was my instructor at the academy.

the plot thickens.

[scully takes a second to decide on how to proceed — it’s so cute] we even had the same birthday. we used to celebrate in some dive in stafford that had a slanted pool table. but it was always so hard for jack to relax. it was impossible for him, really. he was always so intense, so relentlessly determined.

do you believe he’s predisposed to this type of psychotic episode?

i believe it’s a long way from saying jack had a near-death experience to saying his body’s been inhabited by warren dupre…a long way

like. we see mulder open up about his personal life, and they typically answer each other’s personal questions. but this conversation exposed so much. who is scully describing — jack or mulder? it’s just so good. also!! mulder’s little smile as she talks.

[willis showing up at lula’s brother’s place — jack would know about him]

when willis actually shows up at the scene as the investigative team is there — scully doesn’t seem surprised by jack’s behavior [her frustrated ~jack~ as he’s ranting about the case] and he listens to her about the medical evaluations. like yeah, dupre could have been a decent actor & good at reading the room but that moment looked a lot like the jack we saw in the first scene.

mulder playing his tricks, trying to get evidence for scully. and learning her birthday if he didn’t already know it. two birds, one stone. very mulder lol (see also: stakeout dates, weekend case dates, dinner & going over casefiles)

and their fingerprint evidence is gone…obviously jack had it. (tbh this whole thing reminds me of episodes in other cop shows where the investigator gets in too deep & “becomes” the perpetrator. happens later on the x files too, grotesque?) mulder is exasperated. because he’s trying so hard to speak her language — science & evidence. (but it isn’t anger or resentment!!!!!!)

and what’s so special about these two — scully is always listening to mulder even when she doesn’t agree or believe what he does. because she values him & what he has to say. she knows he’s a good investigator even if his theories are “out there” and he still finds important information & evidence that will lead to the truth / closing the case.

and SO she asks willis about the missing fingerprint, and she goes off with him to find lula. (he actually asks her, so was he already plotting to take her? and she goes despite being confused by his behavior at this point. not the same as her earlier concern for his well-being…)

the little bit of capable woman helping useless man in a typical couple way — willis doesn’t remember the address or name of the guy and she has to tell him. this is such a couple thing it kills me. also…has this not happened with mulder & scully at some point too? which is just funny because mulder’s memory is obnoxious. but he definitely absorbs information he ~cares~ about a lot better.

his dopey smile when he sees lula is a red flag FOR SURE. but i think scully can find it believable because of how long he’s been working the case, determined to catch them.

but god i hate this. because scully is so hurt by everything that happens next. this is a man she cares about deeply, taking her hostage, physically hurting her, being cruel. something i don’t believe jack ever did to her. and i think she doesn’t know what to believe, but she can’t believe it isn’t jack. that is terrifying because her chances of getting through to him, of escaping mostly unscathed, of surviving … greatly diminish. so through it all, she calls him jack, tries to remind him of who he is, talks about their relationship, uses her medical background to help him, etc etc.

and god. agent bruskin. i really like him. he starts to question mulder about his x time theories, and mulder is just. so great. “it doesn’t matter what i think. we’re still after the same thing.” and he keeps going along with mulder.

willis calling mulder from her phone…

let me talk to her

mulder?

dana, are you okay?

don’t…

dana?

one of the only times he uses her first name in front of someone. and only the second? time we see it. the first time being beyond the sea…

(okay wait the way she tries to convince him he’s jack — she starts with facts. his name, his address and then when he isn’t moved, she goes more personal. she’s so sad & scared when he presses the gun against her. and when she realizes he’s drinking soda, she plays into him being dupre just a little to try to save him.)

mulder !!! listening to willis’s tapes. “i feel myself getting into their heads and i’m scared by what i’m feeling. the intoxicating freedoms that comes from disconnecting action and consequence. theirs is a world where nothing matters but their own needs, their own impossible appetitive and while the pleasure they derive from acts of violence is clearly sexual, it also speaks to what warden jackson called their operatic devotion to each other. it’s a love affair i almost envy.” this whole thing — for one thing, i think it sheds so much light on why scully believes what she does. so at the very least, he’s understanding her perspective more. and i think he understands how willis could have gone too deep. we don’t ~really know what profiling & vcu we’re like for mulder, but i bet there are threads of it he empathizes with. i think mulder was able to do it without becoming it, his issues were something different, but i’m sure he witnessed at least one agent going over the edge.

i’ve talked about it before but i love mulder in this episode and how he operates once she’s missing & then confirmed willis has her. yes, he believes it’s dupre. but he slips back into his profiling & vcu days — more typical investigation, trying to play well with others, following protocol…and he is the one who finds what they need to find her & save her. and his emotional state is a stark difference to her season 2 abduction. he’s still frantic, but quietly. with his panic face.

you listen to me — you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god

literally the number of times they say “scully” in such a short conversation — her name carrie’s so much meaning. he will do ANYTHING to get her back. and i think that’s why he falls back on what’s reliable in these cases. he’s so good at this. his golden boy days and i LIVE for when we get to see this mulder. i wish it happened more. because he’s a damn good agent. and he can follow the rules. but the rules aren’t always helpful and that’s how he ended up on the x files. yes, his sister. but also because he’s willing to go as far as it takes to help the people the world’s forgotten about & buried.

bruskin defending mulder to the other agents !!!! yes, good man. as mulder deserves.

for those of you who don’t know already, this one’s important to me. so, uh, let’s do it right. thanks.

literally his panic face is steadfastly in place the entire time she’s gone. if you don’t know him, you don’t know this. but i think bruskin has picked up on it and he *does his damn job*

the relief, the glimmer of happiness scully gets as jack starts coming back to her…the way he falls unconscious and she ~sees~ dupre taking hold. PAIN just so much pain. “no, no”

but they’ve found her, they’re so close when jack grabs the gun from lula. and scully desperately wants to stop jack murdering this woman.

as soon as mulder sees dupre & lula aren’t a threat, he goes to scully. and she’s honestly traumatized…

now this last scene. he brings her jack’s watch, a gift she gave him. she tells him more about jack. she doesn’t know what to tell the kid jack was a big brother to…

what am i supposed to tell myself?

good night.

it’s not working. it stopped: at 6:47.

the exact time that hack went into cardiac arrest at the hospital.

what does that mean?

it means…it means whatever you want it to mean. good night.

i’m not sure if i interpret this differently than others — because yeah, i think mulder is disappointed she doesn’t believe when it seems so obvious to him, and after “jack” took her hostage, how could she not believe — but i think mulder remembers their conversation in beyond the sea. he knows this isn’t the time to push her, she’s grieving and struggling. but at the same time, he can’t be the person she leans on. he can’t help her with this. so he does the only thing he can and let’s her know it’s okay to believe what she wants to believe. this was personal to her. and while believing in beyond the sea was a small comfort, the idea she could hear one last message from her father, this is a very different case. believing the fantastic wouldn’t be any comfort except that maybe it wasn’t jack causing her pain. but the idea that she lost him in that er, that she didn’t even come close to saving him — that completely shakes her foundation. he saw her anguish over this loss firsthand.

i honestly don’t know if mulder saw the similarities between him & willis, but i find it hard to believe he didn’t. and seeing what this man did to her (like emotionally) is probably a lot to swallow.

SO i love this episode. i think this one of the best cases of ~you decide who was right. you decide what the truth is~

but no matter what, there is no way mulder resents scully for not believing his theory. he is kind & thoughtful, he knows she’s afraid. he isn’t trying to force his beliefs on her. they are both trying to find the truth & prove it. that’s their nature, that’s their work, that’s their relationship. and it works because they both bring the necessary pieces to do it.

#txf txt #mulder and scully #msr #dana scully #the x files #lazarus

56 notes · View notes

spine-buster · 2 years

Text

That Which We Are, We Are | Nathan MacKinnon | Chapter 1

gif credit @/joeydaccord

A/N: I’m so happy that the prologue of this story got such a positive response in terms of notes! As always, thank you for liking and reblogging -- I love reading your reactions, especially your tags LOL. The more we learn about Sorcha, the more canon questions you can ask! Hope you enjoy Chapter 1!

Nate’s mom had made the cardinal sin: she accidentally let it slip that he was already back in town, breaking his cover. She told one friend, who told his other friends, and soon, his phone was blowing up like fireworks on the fourth of July. It was constantly buzzing and making sounds – so much so he had to turn it on silent. He waited one day longer before answering anybody. Then and only then did he confirm that he was in town and make tentative plans.

Things were still on his mind about the playoffs, and about how he’d come up short on his goal. He’d finally found the courage to tune into a few games, but when he did, he found himself turning off the TV after only five minutes. Clearly, he still wasn’t over it. Despite some time passing, it still stung. To see his peers still playing, working towards the ultimate goal…he didn’t like it. He wanted it to be him instead. He wasn’t scared to admit that. He wasn’t necessarily jealous of them, but he definitely resented the situation. It made the feeling of disappointment increase tenfold.

Plus, there was a new situation at hand too, even though it shouldn’t even be a situation. Ever since he wandered alone through the streets of downtown, he couldn’t stop thinking about the incident at the café and what an idiot he’d been. The girl was nice enough about it, but it stayed on his mind regardless. He was still sure he knew her from somewhere. The curly hair especially. Plus, her voice sounded too familiar for him to not know her from somewhere. But he digressed, and let it go…or at least tried to.

Until he thought of something.

His friends wanted to go out for lunch. And she was clearly a regular at that café.

What if he showed up again? And what if he remembered?

***

Nate had some friends since childhood; he had some friends he made in high school, which slightly overlapped with his junior buddies, since he was lucky enough to play for the Mooseheads; and he had some pro hockey buddies he’d see on and off, depending on where they were living or where they were going to be at any given point in time. Each group had a unique influence on him and how his personality developed. Each group helped him grow in some way.

This afternoon, he was meeting with his mix of high school friends and junior buddies – Alex Kehoe, one of his best friends from high school (and the reason he passed his math classes); Lucas Garcia, another one of his best friends from high school (and the reason he passed his science classes); and Noah Davis, a teammate from the Mooseheads who now worked as a real estate agent in Halifax. When he met them in the parking lot downtown that they’d agreed on, Nate noticed one more person walking with Lucas and Noah from behind Alex, who was rushing towards him. He recognized the extra almost immediately as Shane Johnson, Noah’s cousin. Nate remembered Shane – he remembered how Shane was basically his cousin’s shadow, following him everywhere and hanging on to him desperately. He’d show up at every Mooseheads home game and try to get in the locker room, name dropping that he was Noah’s cousin (as if that meant anything, or could get him anywhere). At school, he would brag about his connections and ‘in’ with all the popular hockey guys, raising his profile in the process. Some kids at school even thought he was part of the team, which he absolutely adored because it was his dream anyway. Since high school, he hadn’t really done much. Nathan hadn’t heard anything spectacular about him whenever he asked. Noah didn’t even particularly update Nate, even though Shane was sort of always around in the peripheral of their friendship. Nate had to admit to himself that he was kind of annoying, but knew he’d had to put up with him for at least lunch.

“Well well well, look who it is!” Alex called out from across the parking lot, his voice booming despite the hustle and bustle of the downtown core. “If it isn’t the man himself!”

Nate couldn’t help but smile at Alex deliberately not screaming his name out. Alex knew better. Alex had been with Nate one too many times as they were trying to eat but people kept approaching for autographs or selfies, leaving them unable to have a true conversation. Alex knew Nate valued privacy when he was out with his friends and family. “If it isn’t the duuuuude himself,” he said equally as loudly, extending his arms out so they could hug. “Good to see you, bro.”

“You get enough alone time?” he asked as they hugged, in a voice much quieter than before. Nate shrugged his shoulders, as if to say he didn’t know, because he really didn’t. “Your mom accidentally let it slip to Noah.”

“I know,” Nate nodded. “It’s alright. This’ll be good.”

“Sorry about Shane, too,” Alex said, looking back quickly to see how close the rest of the guys were. “We won’t really be able to catch up with him here. He wouldn’t let up about coming once he heard the news, and you know how Noah can’t say no. But I promise we’ll talk after. Alone.”

Nate nodded, appreciating Alex completely. There was a reason Alex Kehoe was his best friend, and this was it. “Yeah, we’re gonna have to do that – thanks.”

“If it isn’t Naaathan MacKinnon,” Shane yelled, raising his arms in the air. Alex and Nate gave each other a look. Nate didn’t understand why Shane was greeting him like a long-lost friend, since they were barely friends. “How ya doin’, buddy?”

Nate didn’t get a chance to answer him – and didn’t take it, either – because Lucas went in for a hug, as did Noah. Nate didn’t bother to reach into Shane. “Where we going for lunch?” Lucas asked, posing the question to everyone.

“What about—”

“I found this new place,” Nate interrupted Noah quickly, not letting anybody else get a word in edgewise. He didn’t want to hear any other suggestions. He knew where he wanted to go and wasn’t going to let his friends derail his plan. “Follow me.”

As the group walked through the streets of downtown Halifax, the group talked amongst themselves, with the guys hanging on Nate’s every word. There wasn’t any serious conversation – and there wouldn’t be, even at lunch, because of Shane’s presence – but because they hadn’t seen their friend in a while, the boys wanted to hear their friend. Nate, for his part, re-traced his steps from his wandering day until he found the café. The boys were slightly taken aback by his choice, but Nate was steadfast. They were probably expecting a gastropub or something, not a café in the artsy part of town.

As they were seated at a table in the café, Nate looked around – to the spot where he sat last time, and the spot where he saw the girl – to find her right where he left her, at the exact same table, in the exact same chair, with the exact same curly hair cascading down her back. Her back was towards the group, but Nate could tell it was her. It was her.

Holy fuck.

He tried not to stare too much, on account of not wanting to make it too obvious. He tried to engage in the conversation the rest of the guys were having, but his eyes kept wandering back to her. He’d answer Shane’s dumb questions, stuff his mouth with a bite of BLT, and glance over at her to make sure she didn’t get up to leave. He’d recount a story from the season, take a gulp of his lemon water, and look in her direction. When she got up and went to the washroom, he had half the mind to follow her, but he didn’t. Instead, he thought of ways to get her attention with his buddies around, making sure they didn’t embarrass him in the process. He’d already been embarrassed in front of her once before – and it was his own fault. At least he knew she came here often, so if he needed to wait until a third time, he could.

It seemed like that was going to be the case when everybody was finished their lunch and brought their bills. He’d have to come back a third time to get her attention. They got up and tucked in their chairs. Nate put on his baseball cap.

“Oh my God, Sorcha?” Shane’s voice boomed through the café.

To Nate’s complete and utter shock, the girl turned her head to look at them. Nate’s breath caught in his throat as he caught a good look at her face again. She was even prettier than he remembered from the last time at the café. She had more blush on this time, he thought, and more eyeliner. When she noticed who had called her name, her brows furrowed, a line appearing in between them for how much she was doing so. “Shane,” she acknowledged him, her voice not nearly as chipper or loud as Shane’s was.

Nate felt time stand still. Sorcha. Sorcha. Sorcha.

Sorcha Saint-Coeur.

Oh my fucking God, the girl was Sorcha Saint-Coeur.

Nathan was not expecting Sorcha Saint-Coeur. Sorcha had grown up on his street. They’d gone to the same elementary school together in Cole Harbour, and had been in the same class since kindergarten. They’d even moved on to the same middle school together, and the same high school. But while they grew up on the same street, and knew the same people, they’d never been friends. Sorcha had always been the nerd to Nate’s jock; the frizzy-haired, quiet, shy, studious art student as opposed to the blonde hair, blue-eyed, ambitious and serious hockey player Nate was. She was never at school events, never at parties hosted when parents were out of town, never at people’s lake houses on the weekends. She never went to any Mooseheads games. She was an outcast, sitting alone at lunch when her best friend, Victoria, didn’t have the same lunch period. Nobody ever asked her to join their table. Worse than anything, she was relentlessly bullied.

Most of the bullies had been Nate’s friends in high school.

They bullied her about everything. The first – and most awful, Nate thought – was her weight. She’d always been bigger than the other girls, and she was called every fat joke in the book. His friends even went so far as to whisper in each other’s ears if she walked by them or sat near them in class, saying things such as ‘whale’, ‘cow’, ‘butterball’, and ‘Sorcha the orca’ loud enough that she would hear. They bullied her about her hair, because it was dark and long and untameably frizzy when they were younger, unlike the straight blonde hair of many classmates. Then, of course, they made fun of her for having no friends besides Victoria, for being alone most of the time, for how quiet she was and how she wore no makeup, for caring about school and art and drawing more than she cared about hockey or parties or anything else. The boys were relentless in letting Sorcha know every single day how different she was.

Shane was one of the main ones.

Shane tormented her to no end. He constantly made fun of her for everything, and never let up. It was worse when the hockey guys were around, because he wanted to impress them. Nobody would defend her – not even Nate – and she’d just stay silent and take it all. Nate remembered how oftentimes she looked like she was on the verge of tears (because she probably was). Nate stayed silent through all the jokes, the name-calling, the ostracizing. He didn’t keep in touch with any of the other guys, but of course, Shane was with him now. While Alex and Lucas had better things to do in high school, Noah and Shane did not. He could only imagine what it felt like for Sorcha, seeing them again.

“God, you’re still around in Halifax?” Shane asked, his voice as shocked as anything.

“Am I not supposed to be?” she retorted.

“Hi Sorcha,” Alex said politely, garnering an equally polite nod of the head from her. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been fantastic.”

“How’s Aidan doing?”

“He’s doing great, thanks for asking,” she said. Aidan was her brother – five years older. “What are you doing in this part of town, anyway?”

“Having lunch with Nathan MacKinnon,” Shane intervened in the conversation again, moving out of the way and pointing to Nate like he was the prize pig at the rodeo.

“H—Hey Sorcha,” he stuttered out, waving awkwardly.

There was an unspoken decision on both their parts to act as if they hadn’t just seen each other days before; that Sorcha hadn’t lied through her teeth when she said she didn’t know him. “Hi Nate,” she said curtly.

“What are you doing down here?” Shane asked.

“I work down here,” there was venom in her voice. “And actually, I just checked the time, and my lunch break is almost over,” she said, getting up, shutting her iPad Pro, and collecting her things quickly. “So if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.”

The four men stayed silent as they watched her hurry out of the café, not bothering to take a single look back at them. Nate gulped. It was one of the most awkward encounters he’d ever been a part of – and that was saying something. This was significantly more awkward than the first time he met Sidney Crosby and didn’t stop doing high knees in a driveway.

“She works at the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia now,” Alex revealed to the group, breaking the tension. “Behind the scenes. Like a curator or something. My older sister still keeps in touch with Aidan.”

Shane snorted. “Looks like she’s still the size of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.”

It was Nate’s turn to furrow his brows at Shane, looking him directly in the eye as he did so. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“What?!” Shane shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with his comment.

Nate shook his head. He felt…icky. He didn’t want to be around Shane anymore – not longer than he had to be. “I’m outta here.”

***

Okay, so Sorcha worked as a curator at the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia.

So where did Nate find himself the next day?

The Art Gallery of Nova Scotia.

He had no clue what the fuck he was doing, or what the fuck he was going to say, but just like yesterday, he had a loose plan that he’d concocted the night before and was executing this very moment. As he walked through the doors, he approached the main desk where patrons could purchase tickets. He made sure to take off his hat. He knew artsy people would find it uncouth of him, or anyone, to wear a baseball hat indoors.

“How may I help you?” the polite man at the desk smiled.

“Hi. I, uh, I’m looking for a Sorcha that works here. Sorcha Saint-Coeur. She’s a curator,” he said.

The man immediately picked up the phone and dialled a series of numbers. He smiled at Nate as he waited for someone to pick up. “Hi, Audrey? I have someone here for Sorcha Saint-Coeur. Can you please come to the front to escort him?...His name? Nathan MacKinnon.”

So he was found. Nate couldn’t help but smile as the man thanked Audrey and hung up the phone. “Thank you, sir.”

“She’ll be right out. And you’ll have to excuse me, but my grandson loves hockey, and loves you.”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” Nate said.

“How does Nathan MacKinnon get to know Sorcha Saint-Coeur, anyway?”

He bit his tongue. “High school,” he said. He technically wasn’t lying. Hell, he could have said elementary school and he wouldn’t be lying.

“Mr. MacKinnon?” a female voice asked, approaching him quickly. He could only assume this was Audrey. “Right this way, please.”

Nate gave one last nod of his head to the man before following Audrey through an ‘Employees Only’ door. They made small talk as she led him through a series of hallways and onto an elevator to go up a few floors. Once they reached their destination – the eighth floor, labelled ‘Curator Spaces’ on the elevator legend – Audrey looked over. “I’ll let Sorcha know you’re here and she’ll be with you shortly,” she informed him. “I’m sure you know she’s busy curating one of next major exhibits for the fall and winter season.”

Audrey motioned to a bench for Nate to sit on, and he did so. She gave him one last smile before walking down the hallway and leaving him waiting. He sat twiddling his thumbs for about ten minutes before he heard a door click open. When he looked towards it, he came face to face with Sorcha.

“Hey,” he greeted her.

She looked like she’d seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?” she asked, looking around the empty hallway to see if anyone else had seen him sitting there. “How—how do you even know that I work here?”

“Kehoe told me,” he said. “He mentioned how his sister still keeps in touch with Aidan, and I guess Aidan told her.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked again, as if she didn’t even care about his answer of how he knew she worked at the gallery.

“I—well—wa—want to go for lunch?” he offered.

“What?”

Alright, so Nate’s gameplan backfired on him. Horrendously. She wasn’t warm and she wasn’t happy to see him and she was upset that he’d shown up at her work. He needed to do damage control. “Listen, I—I’m sorry about yesterday. It was just supposed to be Alex, Lucas, and Noah with me, but Shane ended up tagging along. But that first day—I mean, you knew who I was. I knew who you were too, I just didn’t remember you. You didn’t have to lie to me and say we didn’t know each other from anywhere. I mean, we grew up on the same street.”

He saw her soften slightly, but he could tell she still had a massive wall up. “We’re not going for lunch. I have a very busy day. What are you—what was even your plan? Take me to lunch and do what?”

He didn’t know. He really didn’t know. He shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t seen you since I left for Colorado. I don’t—I don’t know what you’ve been up to since then, and I guess I want to find out.”

Her face softened some more, though she crossed her arms in front of her. She was clearly wasn’t a fan of the idea, or his biggest fan in the slightest. She also didn’t know why he would want this information from her when he never bothered to get to know her since elementary school and never bothered to keep in touch with her. “I graduated third in our class and got accepted to the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design. After two years I transferred to Toronto, and I ended up living in Florence for a year. I graduated with my B.A in art history, worked in a few galleries in Toronto, then moved back to Halifax to be a curator here,” she explained.

Nate was impressed. It wasn’t every day that he met a curator for a gallery. He wasn’t exactly sure what they did, but it sounded important. “That’s really impressive. Congratulations, Sorcha.”

“Thanks,” her reply was curt, but heartfelt. She was accomplished, and happy with how her life worked out without Nathan MacKinnon, Shane Johnson, or anyone else from elementary or high school. “You don’t have to explain what you’ve been up to. I hear it on the news every night.”

Nate couldn’t help but chuckle, and he swore he saw Sorcha smirk, too. “Yeah, well…” he trailed off. “I don’t think I was meant for anything else.”

“I don’t think so either,” she agreed. “You were always going to be a hockey superstar.”

“I didn’t do much else.”

“No, you didn’t,” Sorcha cracked a smirk. She couldn’t help it. Hockey was Nate’s whole life, and had been since elementary school. Though they weren’t friends, she knew that about him (everybody knew that about him). His main focus in life was hockey and making the NHL – that was clear. “Anything else you’d like to know?” she asked.

“Why you pretended you didn’t know me the other day,” he blurted out without thinking.

Sorcha had to think of something fast because she really didn’t have any kind of excuse. “I was just shocked to see you in this part of town,” she decided on saying. “And besides, you asked me ‘Do I know you?’. And you don’t. You don’t know me.”

Nate and Sorcha stared at each other, letting those words linger in the air for a while. She was completely right, but he didn’t want to admit that. He’d never taken the time to, even as they grew up on the same street and went to the same schools. “Touché,” Nate said.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” she asked again.

Nate shook his head. It was clear that she wasn’t going to be forthcoming, that she had a wall up because of their past – and he didn’t blame her. He was an asshole as a teenager, and so were his friends – at some point, all teenage boys were assholes. He just wanted, and needed, to make it better. “It was nice seeing you,” he said in defeat.

“Thanks.”

“Have a great day at work. And curating, like, in general.”

“Thanks.”

***

Nate was alone at his house. And when he was alone at his house, he got ideas.

Google: art gallery of nova scotia Sorcha saint-coeur

Nate clicked. And clicked. And clicked. Then clicked again. Clicked on her LinkedIn page. Clicked on her profile on the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia website:

Sorcha Saint-Coeur grew up in Cole Harbour and attended the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design before transferring to the University of Toronto. She holds an honours Bachelor of Arts in art history, and has the distinction of having been invited to the Florence Academy of Fine Arts to study for a year. She has experience curating for some of the most distinguished galleries in Toronto, including MOCA Toronto, the McMichael Art Gallery, and the Art Gallery of Ontario.

Past exhibitions Saint-Coeur has curated include “Picasso: Painting the Blue Period”, “Tom Thomson: The Algonquin Paintings”, and “James Tissot: The Seasons”.

At the side of the page was an official portrait of her, definitely taken by the gallery. And right underneath that picture, he found exactly what he was looking for: her email. There was one thing Nate wasn’t: a quitter.

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: (no subject)

hey. it’s Nate. i still think we should go to lunch tomorrow to catch up. what do u think?

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply. He chuckled to himself when it came through.

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: (no subject)

How the hell did you get my work email

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: (no subject)

from the art gallery website. Your profile is on there. What do u say?

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

Nate, I appreciate the offer, but I basically told you everything there is to know. There’s not much else. Have fun being back home.

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

u told me the basics. there’s still a lot more to tell. what time ur lunch break? I will make reservations for the press gang at 12. have u been there? on me.

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

Are you insinuating I can’t afford lunch at The Press Gang?

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

NO!!! not at all! it’s one of the best in town and its down the street from you! we can go to the café if that makes u comfortable. and i promise i’ll be alone. No kehoe, no shane, no ambush. just us.

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

You never quit, do you?

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

don’t think i would have made the nhl if i did.

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

If you boast about being an NHL player even once during lunch I’m leaving.

From: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] To: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

I take that as a yes?

From: Sorcha Saint-Coeur [[email protected]] To: Nathan MacKinnon [[email protected]] Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: (no subject)

Well, if you’re buying.

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not-wholly-unheroic · 9 months

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Thoughts on Christopher Walken’s Captain Hook?

Whooooooo boy…. 😬 There’s a reason I don’t talk much about Walken’s Hook on this blog and that reason is that he might very well be my least favorite version of Hook. (Leaving aside Peter and the Starcatchers’ Black Stache, but they just totally missed the point of Hook there with their disgusting, bawdy, dense caricature of a man. Black Stache is not, never has been, and never will be Hook. But I digress.) Anyway, I have several problems with Walken’s Hook, some of which I think can just be chalked up to poor casting choice and some of which where the blame falls entirely on Walken’s performance.

First off, Walken has a VERY distinctive New York accent, which…just doesn’t work for Hook. Hook is supposed to sound like a posh English professor from London, not Rizzo the con man from Midnight Cowboy. True, people fake accents all the time in Hollywood, but Walken is one of those people who is immediately recognizable by his particular sound, so I don’t know why they would have chosen him to play ANY English character.

Second, Walken is too old for the role. Yes, Hook is supposed to be an adult who seems old to Peter, but typically, he is cast as someone who is maybe 30-40-ish. Some people headcanon him being a little younger at around his 20s while others (myself included) place him around 50-something. And it’s also true that other older actors have played Hook in the past. Cyril Ritchard was around 62 at the time he played Hook in the 1960 filmed version of the stage play. But Walken was 71 at the time he played the Hook. That’s like…grandpa age. And at least Ritchard’s Hook seemed to still be having fun. Walken’s Hook is just…lifeless…

And that’s another issue in and of itself… I don’t know what the deal was that day, but Walken’s game was off. I can accept a physically older Hook if he does the role well, but Walken was just…not into it at all. He was so…flat and emotionless. He didn’t seem intimidating or sympathetic or funny or…anything, really. He didn’t even seem too worried about the crocodile…just…sort of mildly concerned. And he kept forgetting and stumbling over his lines…multiple times. It was pretty obvious at some points that the other pirates—most notably Smee (played by Christian Borle, who also ironically played Black Stache on stage…) had to keep not-so-subtly reminding him what came next. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well that day and was on some heavy medication. Maybe he had experienced some personal tragedy that was distracting him. Or maybe he just had too much to drink. Whatever it was, he came off as being half asleep or drunk the entire time, and it was extremely off-putting. By the time the crocodile showed up near the end, I was like, “C’mon and put the guy out of his misery already! Please get him off the stage.” I think that’s the only time I’ve ever WANTED the crocodile to get Hook. That’s how bad it was.

So yeah…. Not a fan…

#Captain Hook #captain james hook #james hook #Peter pan #Peter pan live nbc #Peter pan live #christopher walken

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sylvies-chen · 1 year

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okay obviously roy’s question to keeley in this week’s episode was all kinds of inappropriate and invasive. personally it did feel very out of character, and the storytelling on the roy and keeley front has been very off through this season so far. but I’ve been thinking about the audience response to it as the reactions and tweets have been rolling in and it’s worth noting the difference in how roy and jamie are treated as characters right now

what is so appealing to many about jamie is that he began the show as the obvious antagonist. he wasn’t the villain exactly, but ted lasso is a show that doesn’t exactly have a main villain besides maybe rupert— and even then, he’s mainly just the team’s opposition and rebecca’s enemy. the true “villains” in this show, to me, are the cultures and mindsets that we all fall into. the trap of vengeance and retributive justice, locker room culture, bullying, toxic masculinity and its expectations, insecurity, etc. and I could go into all that another day. but I digress.

jamie had the potential to be the show’s antagonist. they could have very well stuck him in the role of bully and kept him there, but they didn’t. they allowed him nuance, they gave him the grace and leeway to grow and evolve into the lovable himbo that he is today. and now that he’s put in that work that was so hard to get him to do inthe first place, he’s sitting comfortably in that evolved state.

roy is not like that. he’s a character who made some sizeable strides of growth very early on in the show, and who then made a few missteps along the way. he’s a character who retreats back into an older version of himself for self-preservation, and though it isn’t right and results in him making significant mistakes, he’s ultimately the kind of man who can recognize when he does fuck up and will make things right. we haven’t forgotten that, have we?

my point is, roy is a character whose growth is not linear or simple. jamie is. and that’s not me saying jamie is a basic character or without nuance because he has his complexity. I know that and enjoy it thoroughly. but his arc was a very straightforward narrative and I think that’s part of why so many people like him. it’s a very easy tale to love, with a before and an after.

roy, as of right now, just isn’t like that. he is at his most insecure, his most closed off, and his most wounded. he’s reverted slightly, in the midst of a character regression due to the pain he’s felt and the anxieties he has. and it’s making him do stupid things (or ask stupid questions) especially because no one has been seen to really help him snap tf out of it. now of course he has to be the one to hold himself accountable and be the man keeley deserves and let go of his insecurities controlling his life and his actions, and many of those steps he has to take on his own. but damn, it’s sad to see so many people straight up quit on roy as a character after having done a bad thing. progress is not always linear! just cause he screwed the pooch on this one doesn’t mean he can’t get back to who he really is and earn back keeley through redemption. this whole show is about radical empathy and reconciliation, for crying out loud! falling into this trap of “who’s the better person” and “who deserves keeley” denies these characters the very fundamental idea that people don’t come with a predetermined set of what they do or don’t deserve, because we are all capable of change. if it were true, jamie would deserve to be stuck on love island for harassing sam in season 1 or ruining nate’s suggestion box.

anyway, TLDR: we can acknowledge that roy was entirely wrong and inappropriate to ask that question while also not entirely surrendering hope for him to fix his mistake. instead, we can acknowledge it for what it really is, which is a shit writing choice by people who are fumbling the bag on the roy/keeley/jamie/jack aspect of the season tremendously

#im so sorry this was very long but i had Big Feelings about this #ted lasso #roy kent #keeley jones

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shizuokadivision · 3 months

Text

ARB Birthday Special 2024: Reika Aichi

~~ February 13th ~~

“It did not occur to them that a woman could be dangerous. How foolish they were.”

“Hm? What do you want? I'm quite busy at the moment. I don't have time to deal with anyone today.”

“A…gift? Ah yes, it's my birthday, isn't it? Seems like it's that time of the year again.”

Voice Lines:

“Goodness thirty years old and yet I still look the same as I did at twenty. Not a wrinkle or blemish in sight. Unlike some people, I haven’t let myself go, not that I’m ever going to.”

“The girls at the recreation center were ecstatic to show me a dance they had worked on for my birthday. I gave them a standing ovation when they finished. It truly warms my heart to see them all having fun. To have a chance at enjoying life.”

“Once again, the upper class of Shizuoka has overloaded my staff with all the gifts they’ve sent. Amusing how they think that giving me all these gifts will save them from my wrath. They should know better than that.”

“I’ve been trying to convince Kanon to perform at my Valentine’s Gala tomorrow. I don’t care how much I have to bribe or blackmail her I will get her to perform because for a psychotic bitch Kanon had got one of the most beautiful singing voices I’ve ever heard.”

“Speaking of psychotic bitch, hello there Kanon. Giving me a gift two years in a row? Oh my my. I always knew you loved me somewhere deep down in that dead heart of yours, Kanon. Yes, yes, I know how lucky I am. Now, what did you get me?”

“Well, aren't you gorgeous? I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from you, but why am I not surprised? Only you would give me a king cobra as a present Kanon. Wait…what do you mean by created? …Leave it to you to create a deadly mutant snake, Kanon. I suppose you need a name then. How about Cleopatra? Oh, does that give me an idea. Now, how does it look?”

“Sakura my dear. It’s so good to see you. Not making anyone sleep with the fishes, aren't you? Hahaha! I’m just messing with you, don't take it too seriously. Look at you, Sakura, taking the time out of your busy schedule to personally give me something. The big bad boss does have a soft spot. You love me for it.”

“Really Sakura? A pair of brass knuckles? That's what surprises you about me. My cage fighting days? Pfft that's not even the most shocking thing about me. No, I’ve done things far more shocking than that. That’s for me to know and you to figure out Sakura.”

Kanon Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Reika. Seems like once again you’ve survived another year, but I digress. I came to give you a gift. You’re very lucky that I consider you one of the very few people I care for, Reika. Demanding and dramatic as always. Now, here, have this. It’s something I created just for you.”

“I figured since you adore Kiyohime, you'd enjoy a second pet snake. Ah, yes, I've genetically modified it to be far more dangerous than the average member of its species. It’s intelligent to a frightening degree, and its venom is strong enough to corrode metal, let alone what it'll do to human flesh. Don’t worry about it biting you, I've accustomed it to your scent. I suppose wearing a live king cobra around your neck like it’s a necklace is quite the fashion statement.”

Sakura Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Reika. You know, damn well as I do, that's something Hollywood made up. Besides, if I wanted to get rid of anyone, I'd hand them over to Kanon, not throw them in the Shizuoka Harbor. Anyway, I just personally came to give this to you. So here you go. Ugh, I should’ve known you’d act like this.”

“Hey, I'm not the one who used to fight in an illegal cage fighting ring, Reika. Which, by the way, is still the most shocking thing I know about you, considering how you act. Like what? Oi! Don’t walk away from me! Reika, you bitch come back here!”

#hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #shizuoka division #silent tragedy #reika aichi #kanon hojo #sakura kito #happy birthday reika 2024 #arb #alternative rap battle

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shouldershimmycity · 2 years

Text

Good Food and Good Friends (Top Gun: Maverick)

This is really short fluff to make up for the angst I dropped on everyone.

The reader makes dinner for everyone and they are surprised at her cooking skills. (I love to cook so this is all very self indulgent, but I digress).

TW: none, there is chicken involved though so idk

*****

The bright light from the setting sun painted the walls of your kitchen a fiery orange and your windows were cracked open, the short white curtains shivering lightly with the cross breeze. The sound of a knife against a cutting board mixed with the sound of old music filled the space, along with small hums from the woman cooking in the kitchen. The counter was a mess, but it was all in the name of a delicious meal.

Everyone was coming over for dinner and they would be here within the next hour. Having decided to make a personal favorite, you had ran to the store earlier that day but forgotten that you had run out of flour. Thankfully, Rooster had been kind enough to run out to the market for you before coming over. Tossing a few pounds of diced chicken into the hot pan, you were seasoning it further when you heard the door open.

“Hello Hello?” his voice came from around the entryway.

“In here!” you shouted to alert him of your whereabouts, and he appeared around the corner a few seconds later with a large bag of flour and a charming smile, he held it up like a game show model.

“Where would you like this, Madame?” he asked, and you pointed to the counter with a chuckle.

“Would you like anything to drink?” you inquired, but Rooster was already in your fridge grabbing a beverage. You didn’t really mind, he had been around your house long enough for you to be comfortable with him helping himself. Hearing him take a long whiff of air, you turned to look at him curiously.

“That… smells amazing,” he approached to stand next to the stovetop with you.

“It’s only the chicken,” you said shyly, “It’s not even done yet, that’s when it smells really good!” When the chicken was cooked enough, you added the diced tomatoes and stirred it a little more, cooking them down. Rooster watched you intently, and you could tell he was curious.

“Do you want me to show you how to make this?” you smiled at him, and he returned the expression.

“Yes please,” he affirmed.

While you explained everything that you had done previously to him, you continued to cook; throwing heavy cream and a host of seasoning into the pan. Adding an ungodly amount of grated parmesan cheese, you stirred the sauce and elected to make a roux to thicken it. Explaining to him what that was and making it in a separate pan, you made sure the rice didn’t boil over onto the stovetop. Rooster watched you add the red-pink sauce to the golfball sized clump of butter and flour that you had made, whisking it until it was smooth and thick. Concentration filled your face as you added the mixture back to the original pan.

“I do it this way so it doesn’t leave clumps that I can’t see, I ate a giant clump of flour once thinking it was chicken… do not recommend,” laughing, you placed the small pot in the sink and filled it with water to soak for a minute so it would be easier to clean. “I also usually use less of it but because I’m making so much there’s a lot of sauce.”

“Where did you learn to cook like this?” Rooster asked, and you shrugged.

“I don’t know… I just kind of… started,” you mumbled shyly, going back to the pan and adding the most spinach that would fit.

“You want to add a bunch because it will shrink down, and you should add it last so it doesn’t overcook,” you noted to him, and grabbed a spoon to taste the sauce. It was creamy, cheesy, and a little spicy but not too much.

Perfect.

*****

The door opened as more and more people arrived, and you grabbed bowls and spoons for all your guests. Conversing with Hangman, you fluffed the rice, making sure it wasn’t too starchy or sticky. Rooster was the first in line, grabbing a mountain of rice and smothering it in sauce and chicken. He excitedly took a bite, and when he tasted the meal for the first time he froze and stared at you.

“That’s amazing…” he practically moaned, and you blushed. You were very glad that he liked it, and patiently waited for all the others to eat before receiving the final verdict.

Everyone else was quick to try the food, and it was pretty much unanimously a crowd favorite. You promised to send the recipe to Bob and Mav, and packed away what little leftovers you had for Rooster.

Later, when most of the crew had left, Rooster and Phoenix had stayed behind to help you clean. Bradshaw was still complimenting your cooking skills, and you could only smile while you washed the dishes, passing them to Phoenix to dry. Nights like these made you happy.

There were few things you were proud of in this world, and your cooking was absolutely one of them. There was nothing that brought you greater happiness than connecting with others through what you, literally, brought to the table.

*****

Hope you all enjoyed, I can actually find the link to this recipe if anyone wants it. It's so good.

#rooster #bradley bradshaw #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #topgunmaverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun #top gun x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #maverick

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