#but that i personally didn’t believe they were good enough as episodes to recommend as firsts for anyone

[cowlovely]

best nuwho episodes to show to someone who has never seen doctor who, but wants to get into it*

*i’m working off of very specific criteria here. this can’t just be another “best episodes” list, because an episode being good doesn’t necessarily mean it would make a good introduction to a series. for this reason, there will probably be very few episodes past s6 or so on here, as i feel like that’s around the time that many doctor who episodes become too steeped in the show’s own history/overarching plotlines to make the most effective starting points (definitely at least partially moffat’s fault lol)

1x01 rose — maybe too obvious a choice, but this episode is the pilot for a reason.

—pros: does a very good job establishing nuwho’s version of the doctor, as well as thoroughly and effectively introducing us to rose and her life; the autons are a good and fun choice for the first threat.

—cons: is definitely not AS good as some other episodes of the show, so maybe not the best if you only have one episode to show someone and you want to make the most of it

1x06 dalek

—pros: establishes one of Thee enemies of the series, demonstrates 9 and rose’s values, sets up/explains a bit of the time war in an easy to understand way, has a great emotional core

—cons: i genuinely can’t think of any

1x09/1x10 the empty child/the doctor dances

—pros: fabulous storytelling all around with plot, themes, and pacing, emotional but with a happy ending, great blending of tone throughout, and a complete standalone story

—cons: it’s always a bit of a risk to start with a two parter

2x04 the girl in the fireplace

—pros: great creature design, fun storytelling devices, pretty self contained as far as references/lore go, fantastic performances from everyone but especially from sophia myles

—cons: has some of steven moffat’s worst writing attributes, including 10 feeling out of character in several spots, and reinette being very clearly a Moffat Woman in many ways (though this is in my opinion somewhat saved by myles’ great acting)

2x08/2x09 the impossible planet/the satan pit — i really debated putting these ones on here, but this story was MY introduction to the series so. clearly it’s very effective

—pros: really immersive story and setting, great cast of guest characters/actors, another self contained story (as far as i remember), introduces the ood

—cons: another two parter, might be a bit intense as a first story for some people, 10 and rose’s dynamic/significant moments in this might not hit the same way for someone who hasn’t seen other episodes

3x01 smith and jones

—pros: new companion episode, so the audience gets things explained to them at the same time as martha, fun little mystery at the center, interesting conflict/non-antagonist antagonists, good chemistry between tennant and agyeman, the hole rose left emotionally can be felt but doesn’t cut into the story as much as it does in the runaway bride

—cons: is again maybe not one of the standout episodes of the whole series (but is still very solid)

3x03 gridlock — might be a bit controversial since i didn’t include new earth, but i’ll explain

—pros: really interesting setting and plot, and while i think seeing new earth first gives interesting context, i don’t think it’s necessary to enjoy or understand what’s happening in this episode, and it’s kind of cool to come at this one from martha’s pov. showcases a lot of different kind of creatures/people, has a really satisfying and emotional conclusion, has the doctor reintroduce the concept of gallifrey and what happened to it

—cons: could definitely have some confusing elements if you haven’t seen new earth, in particular novice hame and the face of boe, and the effect of the city being the way it is in gridlock could be a bit diminished without the context of 2x01

3x10 blink

—pros: considered to be one of if not the best episode of the series, and with good reason. carey mulligan KILLS it, the mystery is incredibly compelling from start to finish, and the weeping angels are undoubtedly one of the best additions to the series. this episode is crafted damn near perfectly

—cons: while this episode is incredible, i don’t think it’s actually the best possible intro to the show that many people think it is; it’s not a good microcosm of the show as a whole in terms of structure and tone, and the doctor is really hardly in this episode at all. it makes the episode really gripping and intriguing if you’re already familiar with the show, but i actually think that effect is slightly dulled if you’re somebody who isn’t. this doesn’t mean that it would necessarily be the WORST introduction to the show (i’m still including it on the list after all), but i also don’t think it’s the best

4x08/4x09 silence in the library/forest of the dead

—pros: do i have to keep mentioning the episodes are really good? anyway these are really good. really highlights donna’s complexities, story is tense and emotional and intellectually engaging all at once, introduces river/touches on relationship dynamics with a time traveler, great and genuinely scary monster

—cons: another two parter, river’s introduction and the emotional weight of her and 10’s dynamic might not hit the same if you don’t know the doctor as a character either, and the same goes for donna’s plotline in these episodes (it was really difficult in general to pick ANY donna episodes because so many of the ones that feature her are really tied up in series lore of some kind 😭)

4x10 midnight

—pros: genuinely SO brilliantly written, acted, and edited it is ACTUALLY crazy. i’m biased because this is my favorite episode of the series, but i really think it’s such an all around tight story, and definitely one of the more self-contained ones of the show (especially considering this is a one-off monster we don’t even really hear about afterwards, let alone see again). and really i cannot hype up the writing and acting in this episode enough—if you’re really into sociology as a focal point in your sci-fi this episode will be for you

—cons: kind of similar to blink in that this episode isn’t very emblematic of what the show normally is—both in its bottle setting and the fact that the doctor is totally solo for the majority of the runtime, which is not the norm. i love it, and i think it works really well for the episode, but it’s still an outlier (the tone is also more serious than most eps). and also as minor as they are, there are still a few lore moments/references that might be confusing if this were someone’s first episode (rose’s face coming through on the bus screen, for example)

5x01 the eleventh hour

—pros: new doctor, and similar to smith and jones in the new companion factor. great story, episode is filled with lots of great energy, and this really showcases some of moffat’s better attributes as a writer/showrunner, particularly the kind of fairytale vibe he brings to doctor who; first episode of nuwho with a new showrunner, so it kind of intentionally comes off as a bit of a soft reboot

—cons: while it IS a bit like a soft reboot, this is one that kind of rolls with the assumption that you sort of know the deal at this point when it comes to the doctor as a character. i wouldn’t say it’s necessarily confusing, but i could see it potentially being a bit annoying for a new viewer, or just not as effective as an episode. also this was made in 2010 by moffat, and it shows (the sherlock editing, in particular)

5x02 the beast below

—pros: continuing the fairytale vibe, engaging setting and mystery, absolutely heartbreaking in the best way possible, self-contained story

—cons: viewer might feel a bit lost if they don’t know anything about the doctor and amy or how they met. kind of pro british monarchy :/

5x08/5x09 the hungry earth/cold blood

—pros: introduces the silurians (to nuwho at least), has really good guest characters/dynamics, conflict is compelling and very nuanced (feels closer to a classic who episode if that’s something that compels you), and this is something i’ve refrained from mentioning so far, but these episodes in particular have absolutely fantaaaaaastic makeup/SFX, costuming, and production design

—cons: two parter (take a shot every time i say this), the dramatic conclusion of this one might be confusing and/or fall flat if you aren’t familiar with amy and rory or the overarching plot of the season, and i could definitely see some people finding these episodes boring with all the political talk (i definitely did as a kid)

6x09 night terrors

—pros: very self-contained (as far as i can remember), perfectly straddles the line of horror and sci-fi, has a good emotional core, and 11 with kids is almost always an a+ for me

—cons: honestly can’t really think of any? again maybe not like. an AMAZING episode, and it may have references to past episodes/events in it that i can’t remember that might be confusing to a new viewer

6x11 the god complex

—pros: GREAAATTTT episode hook that really quickly and effectively drops you into the setting and overall vibe of the episode, some great one off characters, encompasses a lot of doctor who’s themes and different blends of genre

—cons: the second half of the episode pretty significantly focuses on amy and her fears/insecurities related to the doctor, so much so that it almost made me not include this episode

7x07 the rings of akhaten

—pros: this episode is so good. great intro to clara’s character (despite it not being her first one), great setting, great alien designs + worldbuilding, great music, and oh my GOD the monologues…the damn monologues…chef’s kiss

—cons: the doctor’s monologue probably won’t have the same effect for a new viewer that it does for people who are already fans, but honestly it’s so good that i don’t think this is that big a deal

9x03/9x04 under the lake/before the flood

—pros: very similar vibes to the impossible planet/the satan pit, but honestly i think i’m even more compelled by this story than i was by that one. i LOVE all the moving parts in this, i love the characters, i love that we’re underwater, and i love that it’s GHOSTS!!

—cons: two parter (shot!), and specifically a two parter that—while i love it to bits—drags a bit more than other two parters that i’ve included on this list. a new viewer may also not totally get (or maybe even be put off by?) 12 and clara’s dynamic

10x01 the pilot

—pros: i’ll be honest i wouldn’t say this is one of my FAVORITE episodes or anything, but it’s still very solid, and i DO think it could make a good introduction into the series for someone

—cons: has multiple allusions to other characters/arcs that will probably feel kind of weird to a new viewer

eve of the daleks special

—pros: time loop lovers come get your juice!!! this episode fucks, it’s probably my favorite from chibnall’s era? top three at least for sure. features the daleks without being too steeped in the Lore/having them overshadow everything in the episode

—cons: this episode is an atypical structure flr the show, and is kind of like. is About 13 and yaz’s relationship, which will probably be kind of odd if you haven’t seen any of the show before

honorable mentions, aka episodes i really wanted to include, but which had one too many cons to justify: 1x02 the end of the world, 1x08 father’s day, 2x01 new earth, s3 xmas special the runaway bride, 3x08/3x09 human nature/the family of blood, s4 special the waters of mars, 5x07 amy’s choice, 5x10 vincent and the doctor, 5x11 the lodger, 6x04 the doctor’s wife, 6x05/6x06 the rebel flesh/the almost people, 6x10 the girl who waited, 10x10 the eaters of light, 11x06 demons of the punjab, 12x08 the haunting of villa diodati, 60th special wild blue yonder)

that’s it so far!! i may add onto this when we get more episodes with 15, we’ll see!

(also i promise i’m not as biased towards early seasons nuwho as this list implies, i was just trying to be as objective as i could possibly be with the criteria that i set 😭 (while obviously still being subjective to my opinions) a lot of the later seasons just don’t have very many easy entry points 😔 (which is i’m sure at least partly why the show is being soft rebooted with 15))

#ivy.txt #doctor who #nuwho #finally made this after wanting to do it for AGES #similar to my doctor who spreadsheet in that i don’t really expect anyone/many people to really read this #but if you do and you find it helpful then that’s awesome!! #the honorable mentions are mostly episodes i really like but that i didn’t feel fit the criteria well enough #there are also some episodes that are kind of the opposite #where i think they would work as an entry point to the series #but that i personally didn’t believe they were good enough as episodes to recommend as firsts for anyone #anyway!! god this took forever. i’m gonna go eat dinner now

[makethemhoesmad]

Sorry this took me a minute to officially get out and so sorry if it’s bad. This is my first time actually releasing my writing for anyone to read other than me. It’s also kinda short because 1) I only worked on it for around a weekish and the latest episode parts of the night 2) I really wanted to get at least the prologue out before the end of the week which I did so yay me! But honestly if you have any tips, critiques or recommendations for the next part I will really appreciate it!! Enjoy lovelys🫶

🪐

(this has also not been proof read or really edited once I officially finish part one I will probably re-do this I have just been busy and wanted to get this done. I’m also not 100% sure about the title so if you have a opinion on that lmk babe)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take me home

prologue: Beginning of the end

Pairing: paige bueckers x Azzi fudd

Themes: promptly fluff

Warnings: none that i’m aware of!

June 26th 2018

(Paige’s pov)

It was the final week of the rounds for try-outs for team USA when we were split into two teams that we would be on this week. Some of the girls on my team I recognized from the previous try-out days.

There was one girl I didn't recognize, but she was pretty good from what i’ve seen. There wasn't any denying she was going to make the team. As I watched the girl walk over to the water table I had convinced myself to go and talk to her.

“Hey i’m paige” I extend my hand out giving the briefly smaller girl, who’s currently sliding on the jerseys we got during the beginning of try-outs.

"Oh" The girl slightly jumped. "Um sorry hi, Azzi" She smiled reaching her hand out to meet mine.

Her smile immediately lights up the room instantly causing me too return one to the slightly shorter girl. Once our hands meet the feeling of warmth they bring to my normally cold hands, and the instant feeling of comfort she brings me.

"-uh Paige?" Bringing me back from whatever I was a soft, and gentle voice calling out my name.

"Sorry, zoned out for a minute" I responded with a reassuring smile trying not to make it awkward. "But uh, Azzi like Jennifer Azzi?"

"Yeah, actually it is" Her comforting smile now bigger than before she explains while I just listen throwing in my thoughts here and there to keep our conversation afloat. But before I knew it, it had already been fifteen minutes and we were about to start practicing.

"-But uh fun fact! you’re the first person outside of my family to know where I got my name from" The now grinning girl confessed as we were walking to the baseline.

By the time we reached the other side of the court we then started running simple exercises and drills. Which had eventually got tiring enough before coach had finally ended today’s session.

"Okay ladies good practice, remember to get some rest and be prepared for tomorrow we will be splitting up starting tomorrow. And I believe that is all I have for you, you are dismissed" Coach explained for the following day officially ending practice.

Before leaving I caught up to the girl currently walking ahead of me before stopping her. "I think it's cool you know" I looked at the girl in front of me with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Your name. I think it's cool that you're named after someone that good" I couldn't help but smile at the girl before walking out of the arena in the hot summer air.

ahh! it’s finally out once again i’m sorry if it didn’t reach any expectations so please please let me know your thoughts and would appreciate your feedback! bye babe🫶

ong rhis is amazing

#🪐 anon #paige bueckers x azzi fudd

[vintagemulti]

hey! can you do a little word guide for writing common stuff in Scottish? like 'you, you're, your' or what'd you call your family members or common stuff that happens in family events like Christmas, family dinners and all or common words which slip through no matter what with examples. i mean if you're okay with it. would be great help for writing soap. cuz in fics when he is vulnerable, its good to see him slip into Scottish and also the s/o wanting to know all of him in his language yknow 😅 sometimes google isnt enough and being true to the character's culture and stuff means a lot to me. [been going through you're blog its great]

of course!! thanks for asking instead of just guessing :)

so for words that just kind of slip in if you’re talking to someone it’s something like this;

- aye / naw (yes / no)

- how’s you (how have you been)

- youse (you guys / all of you )

- hen (pet name for women doesn’t really matter who)

- where abouts do you stay (where are you from)

- oh aye and i sailed a banana boat down the clyde (this is for when you really don’t believe something someone’s said, the clyde is a river in glasgow)

other than that i think we basically just talk normally but little slang words do slip in sometimes but it does depend on who you talk to, if it’s someone who doesn’t speak english well or really wouldn’t understand we’d stick to proper english. i recommend watching an episode or two of a show called “still game” to really get a good understanding of how we talk (i’d put subtitles on if i were you lol) and it’s also just a really great show.

as for things that happen on famiky occasions it’s just about the same as anywhere else and i can only really talk on personal experience as my family may be different to others.

on days like christmas we open our presents then go see both sides of the family, have our dinner and go up to my aunt and uncles, but again that may differ between people.

i’d say the only thing that stands out for new years as an occasion is on BBC scotland (our new chanel) they do a hogmanay (is that a common word? my english friend didn’t know what hogmanay was. it’s the 31st of december) broadcast and they do like a countdown to the new year and everyone i know watches it. (i would just watch it on youtube if you really want to know)

sorry if this is a lot lol! thanks for asking again :)

#johnny mctavish #johnny soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #johnny soap mctavish #johnny mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader

[monstersinthecosmos]

News that may interest you: asexual podcast duo The Ace Couple just released part 1 (of 2) of their AMC IWTV breakdown! I really like these podcasters’ style of media discussion in general—it’s detailed and analytic but also consistently funny and conversational—and I highly recommend this episode. Still just as excited for your written overview of asexuality in VC, whenever that happens :)

Oh wow, this is so cool! Thank you for sharing!

I listened to the episode and it really was a great critique of ways the show erased the asexuality, and I think it was also a really nice overview of the allosexual attitude I see in fandom a lot. Oddly enough, coming from a more casual/mainstream perspective and not like a DEEP FANDOM NERD IN THE TUMBLR TRENCHES perspective ahaha. Like they brought up reviews from gay men about how good the changes were and it kinda brushed upon some of the bullshit I’ve had to navigate by discussing this topic on Tumblr for years.

Something I think they summed up really well was the concept that the show changed the vampires from “broadly queer” to “explicitly gay” and that really nails it on the head I think.

At some point I do want to write some more posts about this, especially if I can reread the books this year I want to take time to like share and discuss some of the passages that are explicitly ace to me and build my case for the ace read. I’m guilty of bringing it up when it gets framed as an argument against acephobia and I apologize!!!!!!! We deserve to talk about this without having to disclaim that we deserve to be here or having to use it as a counter argument to acephobic garbage. Unfortunately, fandom has a great track record for leaving me ignorant comments or sending anons every time the topic comes up so I feel like I’m always defending it and not just enjoying it and giving it its own space. Sorry!!!!!!!

So to do that some more LMAO. (Sorry!)

I’ve said before like, I really do understand that the mainstream maybe needs the visual clues to understand the romance, but personally one of my huge complaints about the show is that there wasn’t actually a whole lot of intimacy and romance between them. Like, we see them fuck, but there’s barely any warmth between them. I went the whole season not really understanding what Louis saw in him. And I was confused what the show was trying to say, because while I understand that we can also see this as “Louis is not being truthful about their relationship” (aided by the one cute moment being Claudia’s POV and not from Louis himself), Daniel’s remark that Louis was describing Lestat as his soulmate really threw me. Like, I wasn’t getting that from the story they were showing us at all.

So like, could they have shown romance and intimacy without sex? Of course. They chose not to. I appreciate and understand that it’s a win to show gay sex on mainstream TV, but I personally found it underwhelming as a choice for this particular story/series. The main thesis here is ROMANCE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SEX. YOU CAN SHOW ROMANCE IN WAYS THAT ARE NOT SEX.

I don’t buy the pushback about asexuality somehow sanitizing the romance; in fact, that’s a fucking ignorant thing to say. I’ve had more than one person try to level me with this argument and I’m just not buying it. And as much as I think the mainstream is like centuries away from understand/accepting asexuality, it’s such a fucking problem even within the queer community.

✨Asexuals are queer. The characters are not less queer if they are asexual.✨

This talking point always tells me that someone either doesn’t believe aces belong in the queer community, or it tells me that the person just has an extremely fundamental misunderstanding of what asexuality is and isn’t.

But it’s the same way the heteros read IWTV and didn’t realize it was queer; I often think that allos in fandom do the same by missing the ace read.

And like, I’ve said this 100 times. It’s murky enough that I don’t think it’s worth arguing to death; I understand there is a bit of wiggle room. But that also means that shutting DOWN ace reads is ignorant as hell and frankly it’s pretty fuckin rude.

Something the podcast brought up that I don’t think I’ve given enough credit to is the idea that like Anne Rice’s writing is so SENSUOUS like, we can all agree that her vampires get turned and suddenly EVERYTHING is so heightened, like, they wanna touch velvet and cry at music and stare at buttons. DON’T WE THINK THEY’D BE CRAZY ABOUT SEX TOO? IF THEY WERE ALLO?????????? Hmm. Especially coming from an erotica writer like if she wanted them to fuck they would've fucked. (((Insert side essay about guilt/pleasure/Catholicism/etc don't @ me I don't got time today)))

Dgkjas sigh anyway

I’d really like to talk soon about the symbolism of drinking blood equating to sex and how because it’s not literal, IT IS NOT LITERAL. And how that’s no different from ace people finding ways around intimacy that are also not literally sex. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately haha but again I don’t want to like, waste another ace post by wrapping it in discourse. We can have those conversations without having to defend our existence LOL. PUT A PIN IN THIS, REMIND ME TO BRING IT UP AT A LATER DATE AWAY FROM THE HATERS.  

#asexual vc #vampire chronicles #vampire pajama party on amc

[lil-tachyon]

Hey logan, i'm trying to get into sci fi more, do you have any media, movies or otherwise you'd say it's a must watch for someone starting to get into it? Thanks

Super broad question! And precisely the thing I love to talk about. Although unfortunately I really don’t watch a lot of movies or TV so the best I can do for you is list some stuff I like and hope that you find something you enjoy. If we were talking sci-fi literature, that’s something I would probably write a full essay on- if anyone’s interested in reading my thoughts on that and getting my really long list of recommendations, just let me know. I might even do it on my own anyway, just for fun…

I guess if we’re going to talk about “must-watch” sci-fi movies then we have to talk about Star Wars first just to get it out of the way. I’ll keep it brief, far too much ink has been spilt regarding this franchise and you can find more in-depth opinions somewhere else. The original trilogy is great- there’s a reason it launched one of the biggest media franchises of the past 45 years. Endlessly rewatchable, somehow still looks better than basically any other big budget SFF popcorn movie and just plain fun. If you somehow haven’t seen the OT yet, get to it. 

You don’t really need to watch any other Star Wars stuff aside from the OT. The prequels aren’t exactly essential and they’re unquestionably worse in terms of dialog, acting, pacing (i.e. the nuts and bolts of storytelling.) If you’ve never watched Star Wars before you won’t have any nostalgia for them so you can skip them. Don’t even bother with the Disney sequels- pointless and incoherent. If you DO for some reason want more Star Wars in your life I can give you two recommendations: 

First is the masterpiece that is Genndy Tartakovsky’s (creator of Samurai Jack) Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) (no, not the CGI Clone Wars show you’re probably thinking of). Split into 25 episodes ranging in length from two to twelve minutes, the whole show is only about two hours long but boy is it sweet. There are no main characters and not much in the way of an overarching plot. Instead the show is composed of a series of rapid-fire vignettes that take place across the entire Star Wars galaxy and tell dozens of unique microstories. It’s pulpy and fun and never takes itself too seriously and the whole thing is on YouTube because for some reason Disney actually hates everything that made Star Wars good and hasn’t taken the time to copyright strike it.

Second recommendation is the Mandalorian. I didn’t believe it when people started raving about it, but it really is great and tells a poignant, self-contained, original story. It’s not perfect and it definitely suffers from the Disneywars curse of really obnoxious references to the OT, but it’s absolutely worth the watch.

Damn that’s so much more time than I wanted to spend on Star Wars. I always forget how much of a SW geek I am until I start talking about it…

Quick list of the other big “essentials” that I’ve seen and can recommend before I get into more personal stuff (in no particular order):

Alien (1979) - Weird and creepy and gross and with impeccable visual design in every single frame. I need to rewatch it, only seen it once.

Akira (1988) - Massive, groundbreaking, unsettling, beautiful. Brought cyberpunk into the visual realm, brought anime to the West in a whole new way. I could rewatch it a hundred times. 

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - A foundational film that moves at a foreboding crawl and leaves you feeling unsafe and unsure of what you just watched. (Also my dad’s band referenced the monkey scene in their big-label debut music video, so that should be reason enough to watch it)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - UFOs, the American West, and the most 70s-looking cast imaginable. It feels more a product of its time than most of the others on this list, but I love it for that and it does nothing to make it any less impactful or engrossing.

The Terminator (1984) and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) - I waited waaaaaay too long to watch these. I only got around to seeing them this past year in fact. I had always just written them off in my head as nothing more than cheesy 80s action flicks but my God are they good and so much different from what I expected. The first one is basically a sci-fi slasher film and the second is probably the best sequel film I’ve ever seen and takes everything in a totally different direction that still manages to build on all the groundwork laid by the first. Please watch, don’t be like me and wait until you’re twenty-six. 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) - My favorite Ghibli movie. For being a film about people flying airships and fighting bugs in a giant toxic jungle, it really has a lot of important stuff to say and says it very well.

Castle in the Sky (1988) - Hits a lot of the same plot beats as Nausicaä and, imo, suffers a little bit in comparison but still a great anime sci-fantasy romp. 

The Thing (1982) - Disgusting sci-fi horror in the glacial Antarctic wastes

The Twilight Zone (1959-1964) - The first, the best. Sure, it’s inconsistent in terms of quality, but it’s at least consistently weird and inventive and the good episodes are really damn good. Also something I love about it is the acting- it’s very over-the-top expressive and exaggerated. Feels more like it’s meant for the stage than for the small screen. You don’t see a lot of TV like that these days. 

The X-Files (1993-2002, 2016-2018) - Absolutely in my top 5 TV shows. It was great to watch as a 14-year-old because I was still young enough to find it scary, and it’s great on every re-watch because I can really appreciate how much chemistry Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny have and how fun, goofy, and overall weird it is. As I recall it starts to decline noticeably in season 8. Season 9 you’ll have to grit your teeth to get through. The 2016-2018 revival is half composed of unwatcheable “storyline” episodes and half surprisingly good-to-great “monster of the week” episodes.

Cowboy Bebop (1998-1999) - My number one favorite anime, I love everything about it. So much effort goes into small background details and characters that only appear for a few seconds and it really goes a long way to making the whole universe of the show feel so real that you could see yourself living in it. Also the soundtrack is top-notch, I listen to it regularly. 

Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995-1996) and End of Evangelion (1997) - Another one that I took too long to get to and to be honest I probably would’ve been more into it had I watched it when I was younger, but it’s still great and I recommend it. Features a classic “inflation suit” episode

Stuff that’s less “essential” but I really like it:

Planetes (2003-2004) - My second favorite anime. Starts off as a workplace slice-of-life and slowly builds into a really, really emotional conclusion. Can’t recommend it enough.

Forbidden Planet (1956) - A sci-fi adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Tempest (I’m an illiterate piece of shit so I can’t tell you how good an adaptation it is). It’s slow-paced and eerie, and way more atmospheric than its decidedly 1950s visuals would lead you to believe.

Digimon: The Movie (2000) / Summer Wars (2009) - A short story: as a kid I probably watched the Digmon Movie about a million times. It was huge with kids my age and was probably an entire generation’s first introduction to ska-punk. It’s a great movie. Anyway, fast forward about a decade and a half and at some point I sit down to watch Summer Wars with my brother on no other information than that we heard it’s good. And it is! But pretty soon into the movie we both notice something odd- it seems to feature almost the exact same plot as the Digmon Movie. After a bit of digging we find out that they were both directed by the same guy and it seems he just had this idea in his head for a story that he really wanted to make for over a decade because Summer Wars is basically a more mature and less merchandisable remake. Watch them both!

Samurai Jack (2001-2004, 2017) - the first cartoon I saw as a kid that really made me say “finally, something for me!” I wouldn’t get another TV show aimed at me that was “cool” and “epic” and “badass” until ATLA came out. Nothing beats watching a samurai fight a million robots and bounty-hunters on an endless quest to go back to the past. Also the season 5 revival is great and I genuinely don’t get why a lot of people seemed to really hate on it. 

Moon (2009) - It’s been a LONG time since I watched it, but I liked it quite a bit. A lonely lunar miner runs into what seems to be his double and things get spooky…

Prospect (2018) - More space miners running into trouble! Really great costume and prop design on a super small budget (but you wouldn’t know it from how good it looks). 

Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989) - Listen- I’m not a gundam guy. I don’t care about all the different robots and I’m not about to watch 40 years of TV to try and figure out the story. Which is why War in the Pocket is great because it’s six episodes long and it just tells a really touching story punctuated by cool robot battles and you don’t need to know anything about Gundam to enjoy it.

Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honnêamise (1987) - A story about a space race set on an alternate world. What really sets it apart is the visual design- every detail from books, to currency, to texts to vehicles, to architecture is unique enough to feel totally alien but also grounded enough to somehow feel familiar. It’s quite an achievement. Trigger Warning: there’s a very uncomfortable rape scene in the middle of the film that seems to come out of nowhere. I’m still not sure why they chose to include it.

Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade (1999) - Military police get up to some real nasty stuff in alternate history fashy 1950s Japan. Very depressing, all my friends complained to me about how sad it was even though they went into it knowing what it was about and agreeing to watch it with me. You just can’t win sometimes!

That’s about all I have for now. I know it’s all kind of basic bitch stuff but like I said, I don’t often watch movies/TV. Hope it helps and thanks for the great question!

#sci fi #send me an ask! #long post

[flabbergasties]

i agree on your Sue ask!

do you have any recommended resources to learn more about our beloved Susan Huntington Gilbert Dickinson??

30 minutes did not feel long enough for those damn episodes. i always wanted more screen time for her because from what i’ve read, she was quite the mf woman. i mean traveling abroad like 4 times in your 70’s in the 1900’s? hardcore af!

i wanted more of her and Emily together! especially since IRL they had their little meetups and coffee time. more of her and Emily talking literature and poetry. more of math genius Sue. snobby/ruthless Sue! more of her serving cunt and being a socialite!

also, i feel like i remember reading something about maybe her and kate anthon being a thing before kate and emily were maybe a thing? do you know if that’s true??

thank you for sharing your knowledge as always! <3

UGH ANON THERE IS SIMPLY NOT 👏 ENOUGH 👏 GLORIOUS 👏 INFORMATION 👏 ABOUT SUE 👏 H. 👏 GILBERT 👏 DICKINSON

What I can tell you is this: 

Read Sue’s own writing! A lot of her works are available on emilydickinson.org, like her story, “A Hole in Haute Society” (first published in the Springfield Republican). Her poems are also on that digital archive, like “One asked, when was the grief?” 

Our main squeeze Martha Nell Smith is reportedly working on a biography of Sue specifically so…more to come 😎 I am…so…excited. While we wait for that, she has a brief account of Sue’s life here… 

There’s also all the usual Emily biographers who tend to mention Sue in passing. A Loaded Gun, Lives like Loaded Guns, Figuring, anything by Martha…

Between all of those, you begin to piece things together. 

And what you piece together is that Sue is a really complex person who lived a fascinating, tragic, and colorful life that we only know a fraction about. Like we know Ms. “Traveled abroad 4 times in your 70s” and Ms. “Was so good at math she could’ve gone to Yale if she ‘wasn’t a woman’”. But there’s also the Sue who navigated mental health crises, abortions, affairs and open marriages, poetry and art, and grief and grief and grief and grief (!!!). There is SO MUCH TO SAY and SO MUCH TO KNOW about this woman! 

Sue Gilbert spinoff…when?? Apple TV, don’t be a coward. (I am kidding, I think maybe it would be a bad spinoff. Not because of Sue but because of Apple TV lol.) 

And also...

Also !!

YES, she DID INDEED HAVE A THING WITH KATE BEFORE EMILY DID. 💀 They both attended Utica Female Academy together, and ESSENTIALLY (buckle up) Sue was like an RA and she knocked on Kate’s door one night and Kate just…kissed her? Kate wrote about it once, saying: “Dear, dear Sue, I have loved you always, since the first night you were “monitoress.” And I hardly knew you, but kissed your dear face simply because I could not help it! Your sweet eyes looked into mine, and I could never forget them!”

Like YAAAS KATE 👏 WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE 👏  

It’s my personal narrative (i.e. unproven) that Sue sort of…set up Kate & Emily in an effort to distract Emily & put an end to their affair. It didn’t work, obvs, because (1) Sue is a jealous queen (love her) and because (2) Kate ended things with Emily*

*It is also my personal narrative that Kate always harbored more feelings for Sue than for Emily, if her letters are to be believed; I think she stayed in correspondence with Sue all the way up until Sue’s death. 

I could LEGIT talk about the Kate/Sue/Emily love triangle all day because tbh it’s a reminder that queer ladies have been messy for centuries, and i think that’s beautiful?? 🥴 

Anyway if you have read all the way to this point in the ask, you are a real hero. the ghost of sue gilbert and I admire you & your tenacity. 

#someone innocently asks me about sue gilbert and i...go off #like no one deserves this kind of treatment i am so sorry BUT I HAVE TO SHARE THESE THINGS!! #sue!rights!! #asks

[redheadgleek]

Books read (July-September)

July: Struck By Lightning: The Carson Phillips Journal. My last of Chris Colfer’s audiobooks and his first book. Not sure that a journal really was the best format, but I’m going to miss his voice. The Secret of Life: Rosalind Franklin, James Watson, Francis Crick, and the Discovery of DNA’s Double Helix. In honor of the 70 year anniversary coming up, I’ve been reading a lot of books on the discovery of DNA. There was some uncomfortable fixation of Rosalind’s sexuality (much like Brenda Maddox books but she came to a completely different conclusion), and I truly loath James Watson now. Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher. Oooh. A short, dark fairy tale. Highly recommend. Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo. The last book published (so far) of the Gishaverse. Definitely not a stand alone novel, but overall, a satisfying end to the series and leaving room for more books. On Rotation by Shirlene Obuobi. There really aren’t that many good fictional books about being a doctor, much less about going through medical school. This really captured the stress and drama of med school. The Once and Future Witches by Alix Harrows. Reimagined history, some strong characters (although maybe a wee bit too much of leaning into the maiden, mother, crone archetypes), beautiful story telling. Of Sound Mind: How Our Brain Constructs a Meaningful Sonic World by Nina Kraus. Audiobook. Fascinating insights into how our ears and brain receive and perceive sound, and how it influences our language and cognitive development, if a bit redundant at times. Orphan Black: The Next Chapter. Maybe a little bit of a cheat, since it’s a  episodic podcast, but it was on goodreads. I rewatched Orphan Black this spring and was eager to listen. Tatiana’s voices were amazing and I loved the new characters (her male voices were the weakest. 

August: Heat Wave (The Extraordinaries, #3) by TJ Klune. An excellent conclusion to the trilogy and so much familial love. What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher. I’m not a big horror person, but I adore T’s writing. A retelling of the Fall of the House of Usher, with some cool biological explanations. A Middle-Earth Traveller: Sketches from Bag End to Mordor  by John Howe. I loved his work for the Lord of the Rings movies, so I thought this would be a good introduction to my next audio project. Lovely sketches, some lovely behind the scenes insights. Orphan Black: The Next Chapter (Season 2). This time, Jordan, Kristian, and Evelyn returned to voice their roles. I hope there’s another. A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. A fun little regency romp involving a trans heroine. Lots of feelings. Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall. The story opens with one of my least favorite tropes: lying outrageously and then getting caught and I almost didn’t finish it, but I’m glad I stuck with it, because it really had all of the charm of the Great British Bake Off in a novel. Husband Material by Alexis Hall. (All of my library books became available at the same time, so I read three of Alexis’s books in a week period). I had been charmed by Boyfriend Material; it wasn’t the best fake dating book that I’ve ever read, but I was invested enough that I looked for the sequel and I liked it even better than the first one. Laugh out loud hysterical, following the plot of Four Weddings and Funeral while still giving it at twist. Looking forward to Father Material. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, read by Andy Serkis. This will be my listening project for the next year probably. Andy Serkis’s voice is amazing – deep and rich in timbre. I haven’t reread this one since early in college, it was much darker than what I remembered. You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. Terrible stories, presented in a light-hearted, easy to approach manner. I’m planning on introducing it to my family and friends because it’s a really great way to highlight the pervasiveness of racism.

September The Queen of Hearts by Kimmery Martin. I really wanted to like this book as it was written by an emergency medicine doctor about a group of medical school friends. And I didn’t. There were parts that truly resonated, such as when one of the main characters loses a patient, but the drama was so over the top. Ramón and Julieta by Alana Albertson. Just a sweet little Romeo and Juliet retelling. A fluffy, easy to read romance which was just want I was craving. The Antidote for Everything by Kimmery Martin. I checked out all three of her books at the same time, so I was really hopeful that this one would be better. And it was, but it still felt lacking. It also felt like the author was trying too hard to emphasize that “not all Christians” are homophobic, but there was still homophobic and transphobic views (one character was the definition of sassy gay friend) that belied that conclusion. East by Edith Pattou. A reread because I found out that a sequel had been written and it had been literal years. Almost as good as I remembered, an excellent retelling of the fairy tale “East of the Sun West of the Moon. West by Edith Pattou. I’m not sure that East really needed a sequel, but this one was well done and it completed the story. Felix Silver, Teaspoons & Witches by Harry Cook. My god, did this book need better editors. So many sloppy mistakes. So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo. I started reading this 2 years ago and got distracted. A practical book, with some great real-time examples, but I’m not sure that it really made it easier to talk about race with some of my white relatives for example. Doctors and Friends by Kimmery Martin. I almost didn’t read this because I had been so disappointed by her previous books, but I’m so glad that I did because it was the best of the 3. She started writing this book back in 2019, about a pandemic that affected the world, and it was a much deeper, emotional story than the other two (although many of the same characters were in it). George (Melissa’s Story) by Alex Gore. Picked it up as part of Banned Books Week and you guys, I’m just tired of fake outrage. It was cute. The Theft of Sunlight by Intisar Khanani. Sequel to Thorn, which I read earlier this year. Thorn was good, but this really developed the world. I’m excited for the 3rd book. I may make it to a 100 books this year. *crosses fingers*

#books #reading

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I’ve started catching up on this week’s Casualty episodes, and I’ve just watched the first of the two: “I.O.U.”, written by Becky Prestwich (her first episode of Casualty, though she’s written for Holby before).

Overall, I thought it was quite a good episode. The Rash and Ashok storyline was definitely the strongest part of it - absolutely heartbreaking to watch. Neet Mohan and Kriss Dosanjh were absolutely brilliant.

It didn’t click with me until the last... 15 minutes or so, I think, of the episode that this of course isn’t the first time Becky Prestwich has written about this subject matter. She did the storyline with David Hopkins and his wife Roxanna on Holby (S19E58 “It Has to Be Now” - a brilliant episode that I highly recommend for anyone who hasn’t seen it). I just thought that was interesting.

The special effects bordered on feeling overused to me, but ultimately I didn’t mind them (the use of the flashbacks at the end was brilliant). Also, I wasn’t expecting the plot twist with Nadeem spending Ashok’s money at all!

The final scene of the episode, with Rash and Ashok, almost made me cry. Ashok’s plea for Rash to remember for him - I just... ow. :((

This has been such a good storyline so far. I hope it continues being this good - it’s an important topic to get right.

The Stevie stuff was very interesting. She’s still one of my absolute favourites on the show at the moment - such a brilliant, complex character.

However... this is where Faith being Stevie’s basically only friend really becomes a problem. Obviously, Marcus trying to isolate Stevie is fucking cruel, and he’s a monster. But it’s very hard for me to feel anything other than relief and happiness when seeing Stevie finally snap at Faith, call her out on how awful she is, and break up her friendship with her. Because Faith is just as much of an abuser as Marcus!

This was a problem during the Tina storyline, and it’s a problem now: it’s hard to take any abusive relationship storyline on the show seriously, or rather, to believe the show is taking it seriously, when the narrative continues to sweep Faith’s actions under the rug and beg us to forget she tried to rape her husband. Faith is continuing to be portrayed as a nice, kind, good, helpful person.

In 2021, it was “Faith is the good abuser, Tina is the bad abuser” - currently, it’s “Faith is the good abuser, Marcus is the bad abuser”. Fuck that - Faith is just as monstrous as Tina or Marcus! The show’s refusal to acknowledge what Faith has done and take her abusive actions seriously is massively triggering for me, and I despise the insistence that she can do no wrong and that Lev, her victim, was the one really at fault.

I also felt like there weren’t enough patient storylines in this episode, but from what I’ve seen, the next ep is an improvement in that regard.

Dylan was lovely in this episode, btw. I have nothing more to say about that, really, just wanted to mention how great he is.

I’ll probably watch and review the second episode tomorrow. Then I can be all caught up for Max Cristie’s arrival in the upcoming episodes.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers #tw;abuse #tw;rape mention

[chasing-rabbits]

I had a meeting with a psychiatrist on Thursday. Basically it was a full review of my diagnoses so at my old CMHT they hadn’t specified my diagnoses aside from my EUPD one as borderline type. Which at a previous phone appointment I was told was an issue and I should really be re assessed otherwise they can’t treat me effectively. I was happy with this because it is always good to know what I specifically have and actually the psychiatrist was really good. I liked him because he was thorough, knowledgable, didn’t appear to have any outdated views on borderline PD and in general I had faith in his handling of everything. He did make me smile when he said it seems you’ve been told a lot of nonsense in the past and when I explained I was discharged solely on anti depressants he just made a face like because that’s the biggest no no for Bipolar patients. In fact his words were giving Bipolar patients anti depressants is like giving sugar to a diabetic. You cannot put a patient with Bipolar on anti depressants and no other medication at all. It did help confirm my Bipolar diagnosis was accurate though because of course I had a manic episode that lasted longer than usual probably because yeah it was induced by my medication at the time. I always assumed I had Bipolar type 2 just from conversations with my original psychiatrist and the old one I had before moving CMHT’s. But it turns out I have Bipolar type 1, they did confirm that yes I have EUPD borderline type aka borderline personality disorder. They also cleared up my generic ‘anxiety disorder unspecified’ they said I have panic disorder and maybe GAD but they aren’t 100% on that at the moment. They also said I meet all the criteria for Complex PTSD which is something my therapist had brought up with me in the beginning session or two. It’s not really unsurprising if you’re a professional who believes BPD is a reaction to trauma and has looked at more recent studies and such showing that I think its something like 2/3 of patients w/ a bpd dx report childhood neglect/abuse. He agreed there’s not really medication for BPD and therapy is the recommended treatment he did agree EMDR could be very beneficial not only for my CPTSD but the BPD which is what my therapist said too. He did mention we could look at DBT as well but then he said something else about me receiving therapy already so idk I don’t remember entirely it was a 2 hour or so appointment but basically the gist was you’ve got a good therapist so might as well stick with that. He also confirmed something I confronted my old psychiatrist about which is interesting and also concerning with regards to my manic episodes but we’ll see. He’s upped my Lamotrogine to help with the depression because despite my prior appointment with a diff psych at this new place he did not agree it’s purely down to life factors right now and clearly the Lamotrigine isn’t doing its job he also said something about he likes to give x doses not I think he said R&R I’m not sure he used an acronym but I think he was basically suggesting my dose wasn’t therapeutically enough in the treatment of Bipolar and he couldn’t fathom why I’d ever been put on anti depressants whilst on such a low dose of it and no wonder I’d been getting what my Dr’s had said was ‘breakthrough mania’ irony as well that my anti depressants are specifically stated to have caused mania like symptoms in those with no bipolar diagnosis or history so like fuck me also confirms some other things I was concerned about and right to be concerned about when talking to my old psychiatrist. Which also kinda pisses me off knowing all my concerns were right and just brushed off. I am however pleased to get answers and more help more accurate and informed help too. Sadly this new CMHT doesn’t allow us to see the same psychiatrists every week they don’t schedule appointments so I just get assigned whose available but he said he’ll see if he can get me scheduled w/ him for my check up in 4-6 weeks time to see how the increased dose is going.

#mental health stuff #life update no one asked for but is getting anyways #i feel so relieved to have answers #And to have a psychiatrist I feel confident in sadly though no guarantee I’ll get him again #Bipolar #cptsd #panic disorder #bpd

[anenbylittlepotato]

The Bros + side dateables (Minus Luke) React to You Comparing Your Hand Sizes

Warnings: Very fluffy. Not for the faint of heart. You might die of cuteness. You have been warned.

You're sitting with this person just kind of chilling while you're both doing your own thing when you glance over at their hands. You wait a long enough pause in what they're doing before reaching over and taking their hand, holding it so that you can gently press your palm against theirs. Also, this is an MC who has relatively small hands so-

Lucifer

You're sitting beside him as he works, scrolling through your D.D.D.

After several hours of both of you sitting in silence, each doing your own thing, you finally look up from your D.D.D. 

You look over at Lucifer, who's still completely absorbed in his work. 

Then your eyes drift to his hands, the pen he's gripping gliding across the paper in front of him.

As you watch, he sets the pen down and starts stretching his fingers. You aren't surprised his hands are cramping. He's been writing for a long time now. You're probably the only person he would show this kind of weakness to, which makes you feel kind of special.

As you watch, an idea pops into your head. You set down your D.D.D. and gently grab his hand.

He's a little startled at first and gives you a quizzical look, but he doesn't stop you. At least it's a distraction from all of the bills Mammon has piled up.

You hold his gloved hand so that you can gently press your palm to his, lining your fingers up with his as well.

He has pretty big hands. They're not huge, but they're somewhat significantly bigger than yours.

He lets out a low rumbling laugh.

"What, exactly, are you doing, MC?"

"Comparing our hand sizes. You have really big hands."

He lets out another small laugh.

"Or perhaps you just have small hands."

And at that, he gently folds his hand over the top of your smaller one, almost as if proving his point about your tiny hands.

He then smiles and brings his other hand over to cup your cheek as he gently plants a kiss on your forehead.

Afterward, he lets go of your hand and goes back to work.

Mammon

You two are sitting together on the couch in his room.

You're both on your D.D.D. sending each other random memes that you find and giggling together. 

And during one of the moments of quiet moments where you're both scrolling, you look over at him.

He's still absorbed in his D.D.D., a big, goofy grin plastered across his face as he scrolls through the memes.

Your eyes drift to his hands as his thumbs move, pausing every so often to read a meme, then moving on when he deems it unsuitable to send to you.

As you watch, he pauses on a particularly long meme. You take this chance to reach over and gently take the hand, pulling it toward you.

He immediately tenses and looks over at you, his face flushing bright red.

"H-Hey, just what do ya think you're doin', MC?"

Instead of answering, you move his hand so that the palm is facing upwards and you gently press your palm against his, making his fingers flatten out as you line your fingers up with his.

He watches you, his face red, his heart racing, and his fingers trembling ever-so-slightly.

His hands are probably not that big, only being a little bigger than yours.

"M-MC? What are ya doin'???"

You look at him and smile a little.

"Comparing our hand sizes. Yours are bigger than mine."

"H-Huh? Oh! W-well, of course, they are! Just shows how awesome I am! After all, I'm the GREAT Mammon!"

You laugh a little at his words.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just hand size. Doesn't make you any better or worse than me."

Then, without giving him a chance to respond, you curl your fingers between his, holding his hand.

That's it. He's dead. You've killed him.

His whole face is red and he's a flustered spluttering mess.

He literally cannot form a single coherent sentence. He's dying, help him.

It takes him a full 10 minutes just to calm down.

When he finally does, he turns his head away before gently holding your hand back.

You laugh a little at how flustered he is.

Leviathan

You guys are just chilling in his room together, sitting side by side. You're watching anime on your D.D.D. while he plays video games on his handheld console.

At the end of one of your episodes, you look up and glance over at Levi.

He's so entranced by his game that he doesn't even notice you looking at him. His brows are furrowed and his tongue is sticking out slightly in concentration.

You smile when he lets out a small cheer when he beats the level he's on. He leans back a little and lowers the game as he relishes in his victory.

Out of a random whim, you reach out and gently take his hand, pulling it toward you.

He jumps in surprise and lets out a small yelp as you turn his hand so you can flatten your palm against him.

His whole face turns red as you closely study your hands pressed together.

His hands are actually surprisingly big. Not big like Lucifer's but definitely bigger than yours.

"M-MC! Wha-what are you d-d-doing?!"

In response, you look at him and smile.

"I'm comparing our hand sizes. Yours are actually pretty big."

He covers his face with his other hand, not moving the one you have away.

"Wh-what a normie thing to do, MC… I guess it's to be expected from a normie like you…"

You were literally just watching anime but okay-

When he notices you look a little downcast at his insults, he frantically tries to apologize.

"W-wait no! I- I didn't mean that I'm sorry!"

When you look back at him, he smiles at you a little.

He was so focused on trying to apologize, he didn't even notice that you'd curled your fingers around his hand. 

When does realize, though, he's immediately back to being a flustered, stuttery mess.

You broke him.

Leviathan.exe has stopped working.

Satan

You're both sitting in his room, on his bed together.

Both of you are reading books. You're reading a really interesting fantasy book he'd recommended to you. Meanwhile, he's reading a book about cats.

At the end of the chapter you're on, you sigh and lower the book, processing what you just read. You cannot believe that just happened to the main character.

While you're doing that, you glance over at Satan. He's still very much absorbed in his book. 

As you watch, he takes one hand away from the book, shifting it so that he can balance it in one hand, and brings the other up to his chin, rubbing it as if he were deep in thought.

Then, just as he's reaching back down to turn the page, you set your book down and reach out and gently grab his hand.

He blinks, shocked, and looks over at you curiously as you gently press your palm to his. His cheeks flush a little.

His hands are only a little bigger than yours. They're still a little bigger than Mammon's though.

"MC? What are you doing?"

"Comparing our hand sizes."

He looks down at the two of your hands. 

"I see. It seems my hands are a bit bigger than yours, huh?"

You nod a little, smiling at him.

Then he glances at his book before looking back at you.

"Now… I can't exactly turn the pages with one hand, can I?"

You laugh and reach over with your other hand, turning the page of his book yourself.

He chuckles a little and thanks you as he curls his fingers around yours.

Asmodeus

You're both sitting on his bed while he's looking at his reflection in a mirror, applying makeup.

He's going to do yours next, so you're scrolling through pictures on his D.D.D. as you try to decide what look you want.

When you finally find a look that you like, you click the image and set the D.D.D. down to wait for Asmo to finish his own makeup. While you wait, you look up and watch him apply his makeup, carefully applying the pink lipstick.

When he's finished, he caps the lipstick and sets it down on the bed beside him while admiring his work.

Then, just as he's bringing his hand back up to the mirror, you grab his hand, careful not to touch his freshly painted nails.

He looks over at you quizzically at first, then he smiles at you.

"Aw, do you want my attention~? Don't worry, I'll get to you in a moment, darling."

Without responding, you press your palm to his, lining up your fingers.

Asmo has pretty small hands, being about the same size as yours, maybe even a little smaller.

He looks a little confused as he watches you study your hands.

"What are you doing, dear?"

"Comparing our hands' sizes. You have small hands."

He laughs at that.

"Oh, you are just so cute!"

He takes his hand from yours and gently taps your nose with his index finger.

"Come now, show me what you have picked out there."

He picks up his D.D.D. and looks at the image you have up.

"Ooh! Good choice! Now come here, love."

And with that, he starts working on your makeup.

Beelzebub

You're sitting in his lap on his bed. He has his chin resting on top of your head as he munches on one of the many bags of chips you two had bought earlier. You're looking at recipes online, trying to figure out what to make for breakfast tomorrow since it'll be your turn to cook.

Soon, Beel has finished his current bag of chips and he sets the empty bag aside. You glance at his hand as he reaches out to grab another bag.

You smile a little and set down the D.D.D and gently take his hand, laughing inwardly at the feeling of his greasy fingers.

He's a little shocked by this action.

"Huh? MC, what is it?"

You gently press your palm against his.

"Comparing our hand sizes."

Oh boy, does this boy have some big hands.

Very large hands.

Definitely bigger than yours. By quite a bit, actually.

You giggle a little as he moves his head down to rest on your shoulder to get a better look at your guys' hands.

"Your hands are so big, Beel."

He laughs, and you can feel the sound in his chest, vibrating you a little bit.

Then he closes his hand around yours.

"Well, yours are pretty small. At least compared to mine. I like that. It's easier to hold them."

Then, he cups your cheek and gently kisses your lips before taking his hand away from yours and finally grabbing that next bag of chips.

Belphegor

You and Belphie are sitting on your bed together. He's sitting beside you with his arms wrapped around your middle and his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck, half asleep. Meanwhile, you're in the middle of sewing up a hole in his pillow that he'd somehow managed to tear. Not surprising, seeing as he carries it everywhere. And, of course, it was Mammon's fault, even though you have a sneaking suspicion that it was everyone's fault. So now you're his new pillow until it's fixed. You have no choice. Deal with it.

After a while, you have to set down the needle and thread and stretch your cramping fingers. Sewing is painful-

He notices your pause and lifts his head, looking at you. 

"Is it done yet?"

"Not quite. I still have a little ways to go. But I need a little break. My hands are starting to cramp."

He then grabbed the pillow and peered at the mostly sewn tear.

"Huh. You weren't lying when you said you could sew. That's actually pretty good."

You laugh a little as you watch him start to pull his hand away. Without thinking, you gently grab his hand.

He blinks and looks at you as you press your palm to his.

His hands are a decent size. Not big, but decently bigger than yours.

"MC… you're being weird again."

"No, I'm not. I'm comparing our hand sizes."

He looks back down at your hands.

"Hehehehe, mine are bigger. You have small hands. Baby hands."

Baby Hands is your nickname now.

You have no choice.

He will now call you Baby Hands any chance he gets, just to see how frustrated you get with him.

He is pure evil. A gremlin man. Stinky bastard man.

Diavolo

You're sitting in his lap as he works. You're drinking tea made by Barbatos.

You watch as he writes papers and signs forms while sipping your tea.

Soon he's finished a full stack of the papers. He leans back with a sigh, wrapping his arms around you.

"I think it's about time I could take a break now. I made quite a bit of progress."

You lean your head back so you can look up at him, smiling. Big man

He grins right back at you.

Then you look down at his hands placed gently on your belly. One of his thumbs is moving, gently rubbing your belly.

You softly grab one of his hands. He's a little surprised, but he's more curious and leans down to watch what you do.

You gently press your palm to him. He tilts his head like a confused puppy, trying to understand what, exactly, you're doing.

BIG HANDS. BIG HANDS BIG HANDS BIG HANDS.

This man's hands. Are Fuckign. Enormous.

He has such big hands. The biggest. Bigger than Beel's.

They fucking engulf yours.

Big hands for a big man ig

"Is this some kind of human world tradition?"

He asks that question so earnestly I can't-

You laugh.

"No, no. I'm just comparing our hand sizes. Yours are huge."

This time it's his turn to laugh.

"Yes, I suppose they are."

He then brings your hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it.

Barbatos

You're sitting beside him while he folds laundry that just came out of the dryer. You're sipping some milk tea that he'd made you.

You're watching him as he works. Every fold was so meticulous and pristine. It's almost mesmerizing.

As you watch, he pauses briefly to let out a breath before immediately reaching to grab another article of clothing.

Before he can though, you gently take his hand.

He looks at you, not really surprised, as he likely saw this coming.

He watches quietly as you gently press your palm to his.

His hands are bigger than yours but they're not particularly large.

He smiles softly as he watches you.

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

You look at him and smile a little.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"I'm glad. I really do like seeing you enjoying yourself."

You look back down at your hands. 

"I was comparing our hand sizes! Yours are bigger than mine."

"I can see that."

He takes his other hand and places it on top of yours, smiling softly. He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb.

"Now, I must get back to work. I have many more things I must get to."

He kisses the back of your hand swiftly before returning to his laundry folding.

==

Don't worry, guys, I'm still adding Simeon and Solomon, I just... Couldn't fit them in this post. I'll be adding them in a reblog

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me headcanons #obey me writing #obey me solomon

[phoneybeatlemania]

Hi :) my friend just sent me a link to a podcast episode called "The Psychology of John Lennon" by Psychology in Seattle. I'm kind of interested but seeing as the episode so awfully long and I have no experience with that podcast idk if it's worth a listen. So I wanted to ask if you have given that one a go and if so what are your thoughts on it? Is it insightful?

P.S.: I love your blog, I really appreciate all the hard work that goes into your posts and they're always so interesting to read!!

Hiya anon!

Thank you for the lovely “PS” message btw — I really appreciate hearing that!! :)

I have listened to this podcast a few times, and I’ve actually recommended this specific episode (which can be found here (x)) quite a bit – so I’m pretty familiar with it! The short answer here is that I would recommend it. It’s a decent illustration of the key arguments concerning a diagnosis for borderline personality disorder, albeit, not a comprehensive one. But id say the host gets the job done, and it’s a good starting point for wider discussion.

The long answer, is that the episode does have a handful of flaws. There were two main issues I recall having with it, the first being that Dr Honda assumes Mimi’s parenting was not in any way problematic or abusive. He discusses Julia’s parenting, establishing it as chaotic, and also discusses Alfred's parenting —or lack thereof, really— and illustrates how both these early abandonments would have affected John. He even mentions an intergenerational aspect to the family-line which I thought was interesting (I’m actually working on whole post dedicated to that topic!). But then he brushes off Mimi’s parenting as “good-enough”, when it evidently had a more substantial impact on John.

In discussing how a borderline personality might have developed for John throughout his childhood, I just don’t believe you can dismiss Mimi in this way, since she was such a pivotal figure in the formation of his personality. Her treatment of him appears to have been emotionally and verbal abusive — and that isn’t a judgement of her, nor is it to say that she didn’t love him (or that he didn’t love her), but simply that if you read the various accounts of her parenting styles, it seems fairly apparent that it is what would be considered abusive today. I do appreciate that John was probably always going to be difficult, and that she had her own issues largely stemming mainly from her father — but these things don’t ultimately dispel the argument that her parenting could be abusive. So essentially, Mimi's needed to be discussed in more depth for this to be a comprehensive outlook on John’s childhood. As well as this, the episode would have been improved had he dedicated more time into discussing the impact of Uncle George and his death.

The second issue I had with the episode, was that the host largely neglects to discuss John’s relationship with Paul. There are parts of the podcast where he does discuss their closeness, but overall it didn’t feel to me as though he had really recognised the depth of this relationship. Im aware that he recently did an episode on Get Back, which I haven’t gotten round to listening to just yet — but I’m interested to see to see if perhaps his perspective has changed/grown.

There are other things in the podcast which I take issue with (for instance, his understanding of the relationship between John and Yoko could be fairly shallow and one-sided), but it seems to me as though these things tended to be more-or-less related to a problematic historiography. I appreciate that Dr Kirk Honda has done dozens of these kinds of episodes, where he analyses the psychology of various celebrities and characters, and offers potential diagnosis’s for them – and therefore, I’m not expecting him to be an absolute expert on John Lennon. When you’re running a podcast which is fairly miscellaneous in its subjects, there’s an extent to which you can research each topic, and so I cant really expect the host to have studied practically Every Single Area of John Lennon’s life. There are things which I would have been more attentive towards — but I’ve dedicated, frankly, an amount of time into researching him which therapists would find concerning (*kidding*…..but not really). Additionally, I would presume that the shows hosts haven’t read most of the biographies in which they gathered their information from with much critical thought, because they’re not The Almighty Great Erin Torkelson-Webber. So effectively, their understanding of John Lennon is going to blindsided by hagiography — an example of this would be when the host cites that John’s mother was killed by a drunk-driver, which contemporary reports would disagree with [EDIT because someone misinterpreted what I wrote here, id like to clarify that Julias death as being a massive trauma for John is not hagiography — I was speaking more to the misunderstanding that she was killed by a drunk-driver, which contemporaneous accounts would disagree with. I realise now that my use of the term hagiography was misguided.]. But I wouldn’t say that this flaw is so much so that it spoils their entire overarching argument, its just a notable blindspot and something to keep in mind when listening to their analysis’s.

On a more positive note, there were merits to this podcast. As a professional psychologist, he is able to offer valuable insights into things such as Janov’s Primal Scream Therapy, and illustrate in laymen’s terms, essentially why its a quack. And despite his arguments being, in my opinion, fundamentally flawed since they neglect to account for two massively crucial figures (Mimi and Paul), he’s still able to conclude with a solid, evidenced argument for John having had BPD.

If you happen to be someone fairly ‘iffy’ about diagnosing (or suggesting diagnosis’s) John with a mental illness—especially something as complicated as borderline personality disorder—id definitely recommend giving this as a listen! You might still conclude that diagnosing him is not the right course of action, or that it has little value, or that its just plain wrong etc. but I still think its a good thing for people to at least understand the arguments here, since I know that in the past when I have mentioned that I think John was a strong candidate for BPD, I am often met with a response telling me that I'm just projecting onto him, which does make me wonder if they’ve really understood the objective outlook in this discussion.

Someday I’ll have to sit down and write up an entire post on all this, collecting the strongest arguments for him having had BPD (and someday I will, I swear!) but for now I’ll just leave you a few other relevant links to this topic:

An overview of the John and BPD argument (x) — @thecoleopterawithana

Exposing the voice of truth: a psychological profile of John Lennon — Deborah Fade (x) + additionally you can read the @anotherkindofmindpod critique of it here (x)

A quote from Lesley Ann-Jones and (a more important) addition from @walkuntilthedaylight (x)

#finally getting back into the swing of actually answering peoples asks :) #but this one I enjoyed writing cause I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE writing about the actual psychology of John Lennon #its basically the thing that first really drew me to him #and from that I became more invested in the others #so im always happy to receive these kinds of questions! #mucho grassy-ass anon ;) #john lennon #johns psyche #beatles psychology #psychology in seattle #dr kirk honda #bpd #asks #anon #beatles

[soramei]

Intentional - Part 5

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Landing your first real job at JYPE was something short of a miracle. You were prepared to face the new struggles of this elusive career whilst moving to a new country, however, nothing could have prepared you for him. Will stolen glances, secret touches, and hushed nights spent in the recording room ever be enough for the both of you?

Genre: idol!bang chan au, forbidden relationship, coworkers to eventual lovers, slow burn

Warnings: cursing, eventual smut

Word Count: 4.0k

Masterlist

A/N: yeah so about that upload... i was really busy this whole week but i hope to start uploading mondays again! thanks for understanding!!

Taglist (reply to be tagged!): @planetdemon​ @hvunvely​ @fluffybitch0325​ @fashi0nablee @juststop88 @straykisz @theultimaterad @margaritas-en-la-montania @meowtella

There was a pause in the phone call.

You started biting your nails, instantly regretting what you had just done. Basking in your stupidity, you could only wait for his response, for it was too late to retract what you had just said. Your day must have been worse than you thought. It must have been so bad that you had the nerve to ask Bang Chan — an idol, a person with a strict schedule, somebody who you had an argument with — to come over to your pathetic little apartment.

You kept nibbling on your fingers.

“I’ll get my jacket.”

You froze, eyes wide.

“Huh?” You were bewildered. You weren’t even expecting an answer, much less this.

“It’s cold this late at night,” he explained, “I’ll be there soon.”

You didn’t know what to say. You heard rustling on the other side of the call.

“Wait, I’ll tell you my address,” you blurted out.

“You did,” he said.

You frowned, trying to remember if you did or not. That’s right. You blushed at the memory of your first day of work.

“Oh yeah, umm, I’ll hang up now.” You awkwardly said, hanging up before Bang Chan could fit another word in.

You were a statue in your own apartment, clinging on to the last words exchanged on your phone. In actuality, you didn’t know why you asked him to come over. It was just blurted out in the moment. Or maybe it was a result of your extremely frustrating day. Either way, you felt extremely embarrassed that you did so, especially so late at night.

You started boiling some water, still trying to rationalize what you had just done. This was normal for friends, right? Na-eun and Yoojin came over just yesterday and you were friends with both of them. You knew for a fact that you two were friends, but you still couldn’t find an explanation for the strange feeling in your chest whenever you were around him.

Turning your phone on, you checked your face in the selfie camera. It was a miracle that your makeup didn’t smudge off. You thanked your new ‘CLIO’ foundation cushion, it looked like all that time you spent doing your makeup didn’t go to waste. You stared at your reflection for a couple more seconds before turning your phone off. Why did it matter what you looked like anyways? You wiped off any remaining lipstick with the back of your hand.

The kettle started rumbling, letting you know that the water was ready. You took out your mug to prepare some tea. It was a bad idea to have tea this late at night, but there was something about your mother’s tea that could knock a grown man out.

Sipping your tea, you turned on Youtube to an episode of a Korean web-drama that was getting really popular. It was another one with some rich CEO and a clumsy average girl, but you still watched, fully enamoured. On the recommendations list, there was a video with Felix — the other person you saw at the cafeteria on your first day — on the thumbnail. I can never escape from work, you thought to yourself, rolling your eyes.

You clicked on it anyways, just to pass the time. Watching through the video, you were shocked by the production value. Well, that, and Bang Chan. Whether it was hair and makeup or just his acting, he was so different from the person you knew in real life. You were in awe by his natural charisma gleaming at you through the screen as it was a rare quality that few people you knew possessed. Embarrassingly, you found your eyes drawn to only him in every group shot. He looked good in an apron.

You got distracted by more random videos before clicking back on your drama. The next episode was just about to start when the buzzer to your apartment rang.

It was Bang Chan.

Hurriedly, you shuffled towards your door. With your hand on the handle, you took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Hey,” you smiled.

“Hey,” he smiled back. He was leaning over you, his forearm on the doorframe. His coat was bulky, almost engulfing his whole upper body. He was wearing the same beanie you saw on multiple occasions, and in his hand was a white plastic bag.

You stepped aside, silently gesturing for him to come inside. He took your hint and sauntered in the room, head turning left and right to observe his surroundings.

“It’s not much,” you blushed, realizing how small your apartment really was. You could basically see all your belongings from the center of the room.

“No, it’s cute.” Bang Chan looked at you, taking his hat off. His dimple peaked out. “I brought some leftovers from that barbecue place. The kids and I went there after our shoot today.”

So that was what the bag was. With only food on your mind, you rushed to help hang Bang Chan’s coat before setting the table up.

The food was really good. They were leftovers, but it was so good. Stuffing a bite of pork belly in your mouth, you sighed. Where was this food earlier today?

“It’s good, right?” Bang Chan asked whilst chewing on a piece of meat. “I’ll take you next time.”

It was like he read your mind. You nodded eagerly in response, to which Bang Chan replied with a smirk.

“So, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck, “how was your date today?”

You rolled your eyes, not wanting to remember that embarrassment of a night. It was such a pity too, because that man was probably the most gorgeous man you’ve ever witnessed. You swore he had just stepped out of a webtoon when you first met him.

“It was alright,” you shrugged. It was difficult to reflect on the date without putting a damper on your mood, but maybe vocalizing it would have helped ease your discomfort. “He compared me to a model, you know.”

Bang Chan chuckled, making you look up in confusion.

“Was it because you looked exactly like the model?”

“No,” you replied.

His face immediately fell. “You’re kidding, right? Y/n, tell me you don’t believe anything that loser said. He’s got to be something below garbage if he was comparing two women.”

“Thanks, Chan.” You tried to force a grin on your face. “I appreciate it.”

There was a pause.

“I know my opinion means nothing, but Y/n, I think you’re beautiful.”

You stared into Bang Chan’s eyes, frozen like a statue. Your heart was beating so loud that you could hear it more than you could feel it. He stared back at you from across the table; mouth parted, breaths uneven.

You’ve received many compliments before, to which you would always reply with a smile and a quick ‘thank you’. However, it felt as if your brain malfunctioned in this moment and your heart was the only thing keeping you alive. You could still feel your body, but you couldn’t think.

“Thank you, Chan.” You awkwardly coughed, blushing profusely. Immediately focusing your eyes at the table, you couldn’t bear to keep looking at him.

The two of you ate in silence, with only the tapping of chopsticks adding to the ambience of the room. You wanted to make conversation with him, but you did not want to be the first one to break the silence. It frustrated you that you were so shy right now as you’ve never been like this back home.

To heck with it, you thought. There was no need to be shy around him.

“So,” you still couldn’t look him in the face, “any shows you’ve been watching lately?”

Small talk was good. You could do small talk.

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to watch this Transformers movie for quite a while.”

“Transformers?” You’ve never heard of that one. It must’ve been an American movie.

“Seriously?” his eyes widened. “You’ve never seen Transformers before? Oh, we’ve gotta watch it now.”

“You wanna?” you smiled. “I haven’t used my TV since moving in.”

“Mhm, let’s do it.” He stuffed the rest of the leftovers in his mouth before standing up and clearing the table.

You watched him clear the table in a trance. You should have offered to help since it was your own home, but watching the veins on his hands appear and disappear was way more interesting. Watching him, you suddenly remembered the hoodie.

“Oh, that’s right!” You exclaimed, shuffling over to the bag with the hoodie in it. Taking Bang Chan’s black hoodie out, you held it up to him with both hands.

He looked down at you and chuckled.

“Keep it,” he took it from your hands and slipped the hoodie over your head. “At least until you buy a new jacket.”

“I will.” You rolled the sleeves of his hoodie higher to show your hands. You turned the light off, leaving only the floor lamp to illuminate your apartment. Grabbing the remote from your coffee table, you summoned Bang Chan over to the couch.

You turned on the TV, fooling around with the remote control for a few seconds before giving up.

“I give up.” You sighed. Pouting, you handed the remote over to Bang Chan. He took it from you and started reading the buttons.

“Netflix, right?” Bang Chan asked, to which you nodded. “There we go.”

He scrolled through the titles, looking for the coveted movie. Once he found the movie, he quickly selected it and turned the subtitles on. That was nice of him, you thought. Although you also studied english in university, it was nowhere near the level of watching a full english movie.

The title sequence started and you tried to immerse yourself in the movie. You watched in awe, surprised at the fast pace of the action already.

Fully engrossed, you started to sink your back into the couch. Half-way throughout the title scene, you felt Bang Chan stretch his arm behind you to rest on the back pillow. Suddenly, you started feeling too aware of your surroundings. You sat up straighter.

Throughout the whole movie, you caught wafts of Bang Chan’s cologne everytime he moved. He smelled like safety and familiarity.

You turned your head up a little to get a glimpse of his profile, mapping out every edge and curve of his face. The light illuminated the tip of his nose, along with his dewy cheekbones and chin. The plum of his lips were let slightly open, allowing his teeth to peek out slightly. You unconsciously let out a sigh.

“Something wrong?” He turned his body to face you.

You shook your head and focused on the movie.

The rest of the movie was pretty good, although it lost you at parts. You watched the end credits in silence, not knowing what to say.

“So,” Bang Chan cleared his throat beside you, “I should get going now. Since it’s late.”

You turned your head to face him, not realizing how close the two of you had physically gotten throughout the movie. Looking up at him, your face was inches away from his. His face was almost enveloped by the darkness of your apartment. You heard his breathing get heavier.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “you should.”

He didn’t get up though.

You heard his staggered breath as you kept looking in his eyes. The end credits had long been over by now. Your own breath was just as shaky and you heard your heart beat out of your chest.

He started leaning in. Slowly.

Your eyes widened. You gulped, your nerves snapped you back to reality all of a sudden. Wasn’t he supposed to be your friend? This wasn’t what friends did… Right?

Clearing your throat, you leaned back shyly.

“You should go. I don’t want the others to notice you’re gone.”

Silence.

“Yeah.” Bang Chan’s lips flattened in a line. Without another word, he stood up and walked towards your door.

You followed him in silence, hoping to at least send him off. Wrapping your arms around your torso, you watched as he put his boots on in the dark. He tied his laces, and with a nod, he opened the door and stepped out.

You were left with a sour taste in your mouth and a cloudiness in your head. Still standing in front of your door, you tried to process what had just happened. However, you couldn’t. All you could think about was the soft curls of his hair, the delicate threads of his eyelashes, and his lips. The dusty rose of his lips. The parting of his lips. Inviting you in.

You were frozen, looking at nothing particularly. The only thing on your mind was Bang Chan.

The door opened.

“Hey, sorry, I forgot my jack-”

His sentence never got a chance to complete itself as you rushed to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. As your lips touched his, you felt a fire ignite in you like nothing you’ve felt before. Your fingers clawed at the nape of his neck, wanting more. Wanting to be closer.

Almost immediately, Bang Chan responded. He was taken by shock at first, but his hands didn’t waste any time to grip your waist. You felt the muscles of his shoulders tighten as he pulled you closer.

He moved you back into your apartment by the waist, lips never leaving your own. You blindly shuffled backwards, only focused on trying to get closer to him. If that was even possible.

You ignored the clunking of his boots against your clean floor, allowing him to guide you to the couch. A whimper left his lips as you used your hand to comb through his hair, pulling it. His soft brown curls were silk against your fingertips.

The back of your legs hit the couch and he turned you around so he could sit on the couch. Your lips finally left his. You gasped for air, trying to steady your deep breaths.

Bang Chan’s breathing was synchronized with yours, his equally as unsteady. He reached his hands out again, grabbing your waist and pulling you on top of him. You were a ragdoll, responding to whatever he wanted to do to you.

With each knee on either side of him, you gripped his jaw and kissed him again. The fire inside of you instantly reignited. It was addicting.

The two of you didn’t dare to separate from each other, only parting to gasp for air every now and then. Even in the dark, you could imagine the plum of his lips and the threads of his eyelashes. This drove the fire in you more.

“What if the boys realize you’re gone?” you breathed out the next time you parted from his lips. They were most likely sleeping, but the thought still worried you.

“Fuck them.” Bang Chan exhaled. Grabbing the back of your neck, he reconnected his lips with yours. You gladly complied.

His sloppy kisses slowly moved from your lips to your jaw, then to your neck, eliciting a soft whimper from your throat. This seemed to only edge him on as kept leaving sloppy kisses against your neck, all the while running his hands up and down your waist.

His cologne surrounded you, keeping you safe. Soon later, the adrenaline left the two of you, leaving only the sound of heavy breathing to fill the room. You brushed your thumb under his eye to which he deeply inhaled.

“Chan?” you said. He was leaving kisses all over your collarbone.

“Hmm?” He didn’t seem to pay much mind to what you were saying.

“It’s half past three. I really think you should get going.” You didn’t want him to leave, but you were almost sure he had another packed schedule for tomorrow.

“Mhmm.” Your words went in one ear and out the other as he made his way up your neck again. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and let out a small moan.

“C’mon, get up. How did you even get here, by the way?” It took everything in you to break away from his touch, but you were starting to get sleepy.

“Taxi.” He said, helping you get up from his lap. He stood up after you, brushing his hand against your waist one last time before making his way over to his jacket.

“You’re allowed to ride a taxi?” You tilted your head, sceptical.

He slipped his jacket on.

“No.” He peppered little kisses on your cheeks. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that now.”

You giggled, pushing him by his shoulders out the door. He played along, pretending to stumble with every step he took back.

“Text me when you get home,” you said, repeating what he said to you on your first day of work.

He nodded in response and winked before turning around to head home. As soon as the door shut, you slapped both hands against your face. Your little act of impulse had spun your head in spirals. You didn’t know whether to feel relieved at the fact that Bang Chan reciprocated your impulsive actions, or to worry that you had not only just kissed your coworker — but also a freaking idol. No one — not Manager Chen, your friends, or even anyone in the general public — could know about this. If they did, both your careers would be screwed.

You doted on this thought as you got ready for bed, only the worst possible outcome came to mind. If either your manager or his manager knew about what happened tonight, you could get fired. Or even blacklisted. You sat in bed, nervously biting your nails.

Your phone buzzed.

Bang Chan: Hey, I got home. Nobody’s awake… ^^

Bang Chan: Don’t think too much, alright? It’s late, go to sleep…

You felt relief reading his text. For some reason, he knew you were overthinking your actions. You decided to listen to his words and go to sleep.

The next day, Sunday, was very uneventful compared to the day before. You texted Bang Chan back when you woke up, but because of his busy schedule, he hadn’t had the time to reply yet.

Yoojin called in when you were eating lunch, asking about your date. You told her the truth, explaining how there would definitely not be a second date with that man. She sounded disappointed and vehemently tried to set you up with another man in her pool. You politely declined, thinking about your restless night with Bang Chan.

You finished some work ahead of time to free up the next week. Since you were invited to work with Manager Chen at the content shooting, you assumed that you could lessen your work stress ahead of time.

The shooting days were allocated for Friday and Saturday, with there being an overnight stay at the mountains. Whilst you didn’t know the arrangements for Stray Kids, you were informed that the production crew booked a small lodge for the team. You were excited to not only see a behind the scenes of a real shoot, but to also possibly form a closer relationship with Manager Chen.

You were thankful that you did some work ahead of time as Monday’s workload was so much lighter than usual. People were still coming to you with their ideas for the project, but with your other work done, you had the time to go through everybody’s ideas.

You didn’t hear from Bang Chan the whole day, which was nothing out of the blue. You remembered him showing his schedule to you once. The amount of things he had to do everyday had your eyes bulging out from their sockets. All of a sudden, you were thankful for your nine-to-five job.

The next couple of days ran the same way as your Monday, with you easily breezing through your workload. Since you had more time during your breaks at work, you took to exploring the part of the building that you could. You admired all the art, the trophies, the awards and memorabilia. Of course, you also spent more time with your new friend Na-eun.

On Thursday, the day before the shoot, you were helping the producers by translating some notes for the script. All was going smoothly, when you got a text.

It was from Bang Chan.

You weren’t going to lie; you were curious as to what he sent you. He was basically silent the whole week so far, and if you were being honest, you missed hearing his voice. And seeing his face. And feeling his hands brush against your waist.

Bang Chan: Come to my recording room… I’ve got something to show you.

Your eyes lit up right away, curious as to what he wanted to show you. Quickly checking the time, you decided to take your lunch break then and there. After all, you didn’t have much work left for the day anyways.

Locking up your computer, you zoomed inconspicuously past all the other cubicles and made your way to the elevators. You weaved through the hallways of his floor, praying that your memory didn’t escape you. It seemed like your memory was on your side today as you found yourself in front of a familiar set of doors. You didn’t bother to knock before going in.

Inside was Bang Chan: feet up on the desk, drinking from his iced coffee, concentrating on his producing software. You smiled. He looked so comfortable, even in an ‘office’.

He had his headset in, and didn’t seem to notice that you had entered. You went up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He turned around, and immediately threw his feet off the desk and stood up upon seeing that it was you. You smirked.

“I should really put a ‘please knock’ sign on the door.” He cursed under his breath. He reached behind you to close the door.

You giggled.

“So, what do you have to show me?” you wondered aloud.

“A new song. Since the filming is tomorrow, the producers put me on a time crunch to finish the song by today.”

So that was why he was so busy, you thought. You didn’t realize how the sudden filming would have impacted his schedule for the month. Especially since it would take up two whole days.

He let you sit in his chair, and hovered over you to press play on the song. His chair smelled like his cologne.

As he was playing the song, your eyes drifted up to see his face. The face — even after only four days — you missed. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent. That, along with his disheveled hair, told you that he truly was dedicated to his work. You imagined him sitting where you were, two in the morning, sipping on his iced americano.

“You like it?” His eyes drifted towards you, resembling a puppy bringing a ball back to its owner.

“It’s amazing. I don’t know how you managed this in just a few days,” you said. And you were sincere too. You couldn’t imagine yourself doing any of this.

“Eh, you know, late nights.” he shrugged. “Wanna see another?”

You nodded, and the two of you began listening to another one of his songs. You listened in silent wonderment.

However, the silence didn’t last long as the two of you soon found yourselves on the couch: hands all over each other, lips the same. You were lying underneath him, his arms resting on either side of you to hold his weight up. Your lips never left his as you ran your hands up and down his defined biceps.

The two of you couldn’t stay away from each other. The sound of the songs that he had put on shuffle filled the room, along with a fleeting sigh of moan every now and then. Bang Chan’s hand had started wandering up your blouse when, all of a sudden, the door opened.

“Hey, I have the lyrics h-” He stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide.

Crap.

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #stray kids angst #bang chan angst #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction

[luciferloveschloe]

goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

#lucifer #lucifer netflix #chloe x lucifer #deckerstar #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season six #meta #s6 #i will also leave so many comments on gifsets

[chibimyumi]

what do you think of BOC ep1?

Doesn't it feel like the repetition of the many failures of the trio idiots, and the perfection of Sebastian, the butler? More or like the 1st chapter of BB manga or 1st episode of S1?

Dear Anon,

💖 I like BOC episode 1 a lot. It was admittedly not an impressive episode, but unlike 1st episodes of most anime, BOC's didn't need to draw in a new audience and impress everyone enough to stay. With BOC (being aired in the middle of the night), the target audience is one that already knew Kuro to be worth their time. Therefore episode 1 only needed to be an introduction to the axis of the show; the kidnapping case. Since it fulfilled that purpose excellently, it's an excellent episode 1 in my opinion.

Let’s unpack this episode. (*´▽｀*)ノ

"Just a repetition of the trio idiots"?

Ah, I partially agree with you. I do think the first episode is a showcasing of the trio idiots' failures in juxtaposition of Sebastian's perfection. However, I also think the first episode has more legitimacy than just going: "OMG Sebas, kyun💗", because for the Circus Arc this display of the trio's incompetence is functional. This is in stark contrast with most other adaptations of Kuro and in the beginning of the manga, which were little more than glorifications of Sebas.

The trio's incompetence display plays a key role for the series, because this image given to the audience is the same image the Circus Member would have had of the only remaining staff guarding the Phantomhive estate. I believe that this element of surprise is part of the Phantomhive strategy; intruders can't prepare themselves for 3 human war machines if they don't know of them. This is also reflected in what I read to be Sebas' main M.O. as described here, and now in retrospect it makes sense that it had been Sebas who recruited Bard and Meyrin.

This surprise that the Phantomhive servants are actually talented private soldiers is also not just there to "outsmart the audience, jokes on you!!" It showcases how well-organised the Phantomhive household is under Ciel and Sebas, under the same main strategy: "play with everyone's non-suspicion."

Indeed, with the first episode having shown how Sebas alone can handle any mundane housekeeping task, one is invited to question "why hire such fools in the first place for these jobs?" And the answer is clear now: "there was no need, and they were not hired for 'these jobs'." They were hired for the jobs of private soldiers, just put under guise of maid, chef and gardener, respectively. Of course they wouldn't be good at their not-jobs!

Potent introduction to the protagonists

Another reason I think episode 1 of BOC works well is because it introduces its two protagonists very effectively. The surface checklists of Sebas and Ciel are of course ticked, but it also does more than just that: episode 1 exhibits the mutual bickering between master and servant, Ciel's testing personality, and Sebas' passive-aggression.

When master and servant were walking down the corridor for example, Ciel told Sebas he "was not looking forward to it". Sebas however, interpreted it as his master was talking about the meeting with Brandel. That is quite telling for the way Sebas' brain works, because the demon consistently works only with very clear, transparent messages. If someone does not convey clearly what they mean, Sebas will have no choice but to guess.

It then turned out Ciel was actually talking about the dancing lesson, and Sebas then says: "I see. Do you mean to say that you wish to demonstrate your 'staggering waltz' to the Lady Elizabeth?" Defeated, Ciel only replies: "you snide bastard."

This conversation is likewise very characteristic of these two. Here again Sebas is interpreting, because it is unclear to him what exactly his master wants him to do with this information. Was he simply complaining? Or was he hinting for Sebas to cancel class? (Just pay attention to how much people "communicate" only implicitly through hints. For Sebas this "code of communication" must be as consistent as guesswork.) In Ciel's dismayed reply "you snide bastard", we get a hint that Sebas might not have been too wrong in his interpretation either, because it clearly touched a nerve. Had he been wrong, then Ciel would undoubtedly not have given Sebas the satisfaction of letting him know his comment hit something, and instead simply corrected his butler like he did about Brandel. This back-and-forthing is in my opinion an innocent but excellent taster of their toxic dynamic.

Potent introduction to the series nature

Another thing this episode does well is how it represented what this series is in its core; a comical dark fantasy. When Brandel was convinced that his assassination attempt had succeeded, he boldly hid himself under the table laughing, and when he emerged from underneath it was just total peace. I really giggled at the anti-climax and secondhand embarrassment, it was SO GOOD.

Then when Sebas congratulated Brandel for winning La fève, it was just so casually macabre, I loved it!! I really loved the skin-crawling feeling of Sebas having done a mass-murder, and just casually breaking it to Brandel like the most trivial thing. Because it WAS the most trivial thing to Sebas.

Once again we see just how terrifying the Phantomhive household is, what the "Phantomhive Hospitality" means, and what "Phantomhive" means.

When Sebas crowned Brandel I really loved his mirth at the man's terror. And when Ciel revealed his contract eye saying: "do you have any idea why nobody has spoken of how the Watchdog inflicts punishment? It is because dead men tell no tales." it was so bone-chilling, it was amazing. In my opinion it was a very effective way to impart "old information" to viewers, without it feeling like: "exposition, exposition, exposition".

Conclusion

So yes, though the first episode of BOC is not really impressive on first glance, it gives the audience a lot to unpack and understand what this series will be about.

The first episode effectively disclosed the universe's law: The Queen's Watchdog is relentless with "Phantomhive hospitality", made possible through his strategy and the demon butler's powers

It constructively introduced the character dynamic of the two protagonists: an unconventional master-servant relationship with back-and-forthing.

It practically sets up an image about the idiot servants, which is not a lie, but does paint a different picture of the full truth.

And finally, it faithfully shows the audience the atmosphere of the universe: a comical and macabre world where atrocious crimes are trivial to our protagonists from Hell.

In short; as an introductory episode for BOC, it's more than successful in my opinion. The episode was written by Yana herself, so naturally it understands the source material well. Yes, it's indeed not a very flashy or impressive opening, but for those who are interested, I do recommend giving this episode another investigatory watch rather than a passive watch.

I hope it had been an interesting read ^v^

#Kuroshitsuji #BOC #book of circus #Episode 1 #Analysis #Review #Ish...? #Unpacking #Yeah it's more like an unpacking

[oodlyenough]

life is strange true colours review

the non spoilery part: i LOVED this game, my personal fave game this year and the first franchise entry since the original that has really resonated with or moved me.

it's a life is strange game through and through, so if you don't like slice of life episodes or bonding with NPCs, it's not gonna be for you. but if you like the franchise, or even if you liked the first game but haven't been interested in/liked the other two instalments, i recommend giving this one a chance. i think it got closer to figuring out the formula while still doing something new and interesting.

more detailed spoilers and opinions:

alex

holy shit i love alex? bisexual chad... my darling... i'm gonna be real, a lot of the trailers and promo for this game made me worried she'd be kind of a dull wallflower Soft Girl character, but she's not! she's so funny, and even parts of her characterization i initially thought were maybe a bit of a stretch ended up making sense as i learned more about her. she stole the show. i straight up forgot how much loving the protag helps enjoyment of these kinds of games lmao ... finally a reason to click on everything in the room: to hear what alex will say about it.

i thought her backstory exploration in ep 5 especially was wonderful and emotive and great. broke my heart and explained so much about her :( baby girl

plot/choices

i loved the mystery. i don't think it was quite as Mysterious as the mystery in lis1, but that was okay, i was still invested in solving it. i also got invested enough in the NPCs around the town to make all the exploration bits really fun. i loved eavesdropping on the sagas of the random NPCs like bald man and ice cream couple... just fun little touches and narratives to follow that i enjoyed.

i really appreciated this script not being afraid to shy away from some messier emotions, even if in some cases i wish we spent more time on them. for example: alex feeling a bit jealous of the other people in town that got to know gabe better than her/spend more time with him than she did. or charlotte hating ethan!!! my jaw dropped, i thought that was so good, what a messy but realistic response.

I'm not entirely sure what all the ramifications of different choices are at this point, fresh off my first play. i ended up getting only part of the council to stand with me (eleanor & duckie) while losing pike and charlotte.

i do wish we saw a bit more fallout or exploration of what taking away emotion DOES. i took charlotte's anger, and obviously it meant she didn't stand up for me in the council meeting, but where does she go from there? does she like... ever return to feeling emotions lmao... I also think we probably should've had the opportunity to do that another time, instead of just 2 isolated events -- I think Diane would've been a good candidate.

the romance

i romanced steph, ofc, but i was surprised during the game how drawn i was to ryan too -- i really liked that Drama of him being the one who cut Gabe free, as well as later the drama of him being Jed's son. UNTIL HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME... that made me mad lmfao, i have to learn what to do to make him believe me before i play a Ryan route bc i'll kill him lmfao.

the steph/alex romance was sweet... it didn't really, like, Consume Me as a ship, but by the end of the game I was still "aww"ing at their moments in the flashforward. steph was more rounded and flawed than i thought she might be, which i really appreciated! i was worried they'd just make her perfect idealized gf, but she has a bit of a temper and is kind of tempestuous and stuff... liked it. loved her standing up for alex so fiercely and immediately at the council meeting <3 and my main reservation about her in ep 4 was that i wanted alex to stay in haven, so when she offered to stay i was thrilled LOL

one semi-complaint i had was that something i loved so much about lis1 was how max and chloe's relationship was central to the entire game and story, it wasn't some extra thing on the side, it WAS the game... whereas here, the romance routes, especially steph's, felt like sidequests. I wish they'd found a way to incorporate those relationships a bit more into the main goings-on. I also wanted to spend more time with either romance option to feel like I knew them better -- splitting the time between Steph and Ryan means that I came away feeling like I didn't get quite as much of either of them as I would've liked, vs spending almost the entire game with Chloe lol.

however, this ended up not really bothering me too much because I DID really like the core mystery and themes, the exploration of grief and Emotion, etc.

other characters

considering everyone knew going into the game that gabe was going to die, i was impressed with how they did it, and how they managed to get me attached to gabe in a mere single episode. it's a tall order to introduce a character designed to die, who your audience KNOWS is going to die, and still make them work.

i thought this supporting cast was ... maybe the strongest in the franchise? or at least, they created scenarios where i felt invested in multiple people in the town, and was genuinely trying to build decent relationships with most of them. duckie cracked me tf up, i liked eleanor and riley, even diane and jeb were good for their roles. (fuck pike. i signed ur stupid thing and left your emotions alone and you still won't do shit? ACAB!!!) the choice to stay in haven or leave was a little harder than i expected honestly, considering how quickly i let arcadia bay burn to the ground lmfao.

gameplay/etc

also i know the whole internet has been dunking on "empathy" as a super power since the game was announced, and i get that it sounds corny and looks corny in the trailers, but i thought how they did it was really cool. i wish they'd branded it "Mindreading" more than empathy tbh because a lot of the cooler elements of it are more along those lines... using her power to manipulate people, potentially taking people's emotions away and what that does to them... very interesting imo!

i really liked the memory feature!!! cool way to give us character exposition and inform the story while encouraging exploration. finally a collectible that like, expands the story, instead of chloe drawing butts on the wall and sean taking 10 years to draw something.

it's definitely the most evolved-feeling LIS game, which it should be, given it's the newest. graphics looked really nice, loved getting to see the characters actually emote, even if there are still some scenes that were a lil comically blank-faced -- usually NPCs. i actually noticed this with Jed the most, which in retrospect maybe was somewhat intentional?

i had a number of visual glitches, nothing major but a little silly, like T-posing Alex, npcs t-posing in the windows, etc. i'm sure they'll get patched out soon.

anyway... i rly liked this game, i'm excited for the steph dlc and finally feel like i have reason to be optimistic about future LIS instalments. hooray!

#life is strange #true colors #listc spoilers #lis spoilers #secrets of haven

[nat-20s]

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad. 

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show  applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of  a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon:  No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true.  Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look. 

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

#wonderful! au #jonmartin #tma #jon sims #martin blackwood #my fic #thank you to everyone that submitted!!! #also; i am offically out of ideas for installments #more may come later but i make no promises!