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#butt licker
pen-muncher · 1 year
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Idk how to post anything but knuckle
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jadesoloxx · 4 months
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Breakfast is served 💋💕
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londonchic · 3 months
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I had more fun with this than I’d like to admit
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ssquidinkd · 1 year
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Shit Tumblr is confusing
ANYWAYS! Ignoring my 6 year old art, I’m Squid and this is my character/design and if anyone else says differently they’re fulla shit :)
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BEHOLD
Error!Ink (WhiteOut/White-Out)
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monkeyonsticks · 1 year
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I hope y'all like lickers and if not, well I hope you got some flashbangs spare.
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reality-detective · 6 months
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Vivek Ramaswamy is the Republican Barack Obama. Who is his puppet master?
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You all should know Nikki Haley is a world economic forum puppet... Right?
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And the Pillsbury Dough Boy is a butt buddy to Obama?
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And this boot licker was praised by Klaus Schwab.
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There are multiple candidates, but only one choice from what I see on the clown show debates.
Trump is a huge topic and his name comes out of everyone of these stooges mouths. 🤔
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eldritch-spouse · 5 months
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Playfully slaps Vesper's ass like a drum.
(Pinnie, did you know cats like their butts slapped like a drum? Look up on youtube)
[I don't need to look it up, I do that to my wall-licker regularly.]
Vesper rumbles at the touches, perking up immediately. His writing supplies are pushed aside and he lifts his great tail, spreading thick legs lavishly on his lounge chair.
" Someone's happy to see me! " He greets playfully.
Some of that excitement dies down when you continue to make a beat with his cheeks, as opposed to teasing his hole the way he'd been hoping for. Ultimately, the King doesn't seem too disappointed, humming along to whatever beat you're making. Until it clicks.
" Is that... Are you actually spanking me to the beat of Careless Whisper? "
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shybunnie20 · 3 months
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Eddie Munson Headcanons Pt 4
★My Masterlist
It's been a year since my last list sooo here's more. A few are a bit similar to older ones, but I like these better lol
[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3]
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Eddie takes great pride in being able to belch the ABCs forward and backward. He can’t do it consecutively, though. I mean, he could, but it makes his tummy hurt.
Don’t ask him about doing cartwheels. He’s never been able to do a proper one, and he doesn’t wanna talk about it.
If his pack of cigs is getting low, he’ll steal a couple from Wayne’s. When his uncle starts to catch on and questions his disappearing smokes, Eddie gaslights the shit out of him.
He takes the rules of calling shotgun to heart.
Eddie is a total adrenaline junkie and thrill seeker, but not toward things that would get him in major trouble. He isn’t intimidated by any roller coaster, no matter the size. He will ride it again even if he hurls; it doesn’t deter him in the slightest.
He has a small mole on his right side and another under his peck.
After brushing his teeth and rinsing his toothbrush, he always taps it against the rim of the sink 3 times.
As a kid, Eddie was a habitual lip licker. Petroleum jelly just wasn’t something that could be found in the trailer. Up until he reached his preteen years, he had a rash around his mouth during the colder months each year.
Double jointed in his left thumb and enjoys freaking out squeamish people with it.
Ambidextrous when it comes to writing and slapping the ham, but he’s predominantly right handed otherwise.
This isn’t news to those who read my writing: Eddie is a nail biter. Unfortunately, he bites his toenails too. Only after showering, of course. It’s not his fault he can’t keep track of the nail clipper.
He can also often be seen gnawing on a toothpick; something he picked up from living with Wayne.
Eddie is more of a cat person, but he likes dogs too. Bigger dogs, preferably. Regardless of the species, he’s a chin and butt scratcher. He loves whenever he finds the right spot on a dog that makes it thump its leg.
If anything spooks this man to his core, it’s dolls. ESPECIALLY My Buddy & Kid Sister (google it, you'll understand). Anytime the commercial comes on, he closes his eyes and waits until the next ad starts.
Not necessarily much of a prankster, but crop dusting his buddies never gets old.
Prefers rock paper scissors to flipping a coin, and he’ll only call best out of three when he’s losing.
Honks like a goose whenever he blows his nose.
If there’s furniture to stub his toes on, said toes will be stubbed… hard.
Slightly allergic to cinnamon, it makes his throat itchy.
Eddie believes that crunchy peanut butter is superior to creamy. His PB&Js are 80% jelly. He licks the knife clean before switching between jars.
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[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3]
★My Masterlist
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Ranking JJK Characters I Don't Like
Ranging from mild dislike (14) to LOATHE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING (1).
14. Mai: I don't hate her. I sympathize with her. I just wish she wasn't the way she is.
13. Junpei: I do have compassion for him, but ... school shooter vibes. Not a fan.
12. Noritoshi: Bad vibes.
11. Toji: Bad dad. And he's so nosy, too. Why does he always insert himself into situations with his fists swinging? Actually, now that I think about it, that's kind of iconic behavior. But all it ever really did was create more problems. If he had never inserted himself into the plot, Geto would have probably never turned mass-murderer-cult-leader--WE COULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING. So it's a pass for me. Also, his haircut is off-putting for reasons I cannot articulate. It's like one day in middle school he got a haircut and just never changed up the style ever again.
10. Jogo: Ugly.
9. Uraume: Character design: slay. Helping Sukuna: not slay.
8. Like every adult from the Zenin clan: BECAUSE THEY SUCK.
7. Tengen: Old and entitled.
6. Kenjaku: Old and entitled part two. What gives him the right?
5. Sukuna: Horrid, nasty man. I feel like I shouldn't have to elaborate.
4. Ui Ui: Annoying. Literally, why are you even here?
3. Mei Mei: First of all, how am I supposed to take you seriously with that stupid braid hanging in front of your face? From the very instant her character was introduced, I did not like her, but I thought maybe I was being a woman hater for no reason, so I really did try to tolerate her. But when we finally saw that scene in season two. PRISON!!! I was right. She's the worst. We are not gonna ignore that. Check her files.
2. That thing with the blond side ponytail: I hate him so much I don't even know his name. I don't care to know it. I would say why do you as a man look like that, but honestly why do you as a HUMAN BEING look like that? Why do you act like that? Why are you skipping around wearing a poorly made DIY toga? Whole nip is hanging out, and no one asked to see that. Why are you HOLDING HANDS with your blade? Freak. There is something so intrinsically, inherently, ONTOLOGICALLY wrong with him, you can't even blame it on childhood trauma or a personality disorder. The only time I ever supported Sukuna was when he bullied this emaciated Jo Jo Siwa lookin' thing in Shibuya.
Mahito: I hate him so much. I hate him more than I've ever hated any character. I actually lose the ability to speak coherently when I think about him because I hate him so much. I think it's so cringe when try-hard dudes say, "When I'm angry all I see is red." But when I think about Mahito it really is like blood and pure rage cloud my vision. He is literally the embodiment of if you gave an edge lord psychopathic eleven year old the power to kill people. "Wee, I'm so powerful and killing people is just SoooOoOoOoOOOo much fun!!" SHUT UP!!!!!!!! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT CUTE. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. He is genuinely the most irritating character I have ever come across. And as the story progresses, he just gets worse. What do you mean he can duplicate himself? Now we have to deal with TWO of this wretched creature? What do you mean he can be decapitated AND HIS HEAD WILL SPROUT LIMBS AND SPRINT AWAY? STOOOOOOOOOP. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED TO NANAMI--I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. Mahito is such a nasty, slithy, bothersome, despicable, nauseating little cockroach. "Yuji, you and I are the same." Huh? You thought you did something there, didn't you? You thought you ate and came up with some kind of deep, revolutionary concept? It's giving pretentious philosophy dude who thinks he's superior for being a little contrarian, nihilistic Nietzsche butt licker. When Yuji finally humbled him, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the fear in his eyes. For one brief, fleeting moment, I could finally understand what sadists must feel like. Honestly, we deserved to watch him suffer, and I wish he would have suffered far more for far longer. Rot in anguish, Mahito. You will not be missed nor forgiven.
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wordsbymae · 1 year
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omg this was SO GOOD, dear author😭 the jealous person not realising that they're in reality only helping farmer to make mousey his spouse. how would the visit at farmer's home go? surely little mouse must see that farmer's house is a lot better than their dangerous little home. they will have everything they want here, somehow farmer suddenly have so many amazing products to make pastery that little mouse couldn't afford. and if that doesn't work? surely mousey isn't so heartless to leave him all alone on this huge farm? he has so much work, they surely doesn't want him to overwork himself to death. 😩
and if you don't mind dear author, can i be 💫 anon?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did update the ending very slightly, just changed some wording but nothing too crazy. That's exactly what I was going for! Before this happened the reader was on edge with the farmer. They could tell, even subconsciously, that he had less than honest intentions. But with this whole situation they were forced into his arms, he stood up for them, protected them, practically admitting to being in love with them. It sends mouse right back to when they would wait by their mailbox for him to drive past so they could wave good morning to him or how they would rebake something over and over again just so it was perfect for him. The love-sick puppy in them is back with a vengeance.
I see mouse being in his truck with his denim jacket on, his scent enveloping them as they use the cuffs to wipe their nose or their eyes. (And if you're like me, can you imagine it being too big or long? and just being dwarfed in it?). The farmer is still a bit uncomfortable, neither has said anything since they got in the car and clearly mousey is still very upset. He does use this time to think of a plan. He was expecting a struggle or even a fight to get his little mouse in his arms. If he was a forgiving man would thank that cruel person for driving mouse into his arms. But he was not, so you can imagine what's gonna happen.
They finally arrive home (and because I am committing), his two working dogs run out from behind the house barking and yapping. Reader's met them before and loves them to death so they practically jump out of the truck to say hi to them. The farmer just grumbles cause he wanted to open their door like a gentleman :(
Pancho and Lefty are so excited to see Mouse again. They've been gone too long! Of course, they have ulterior motives and start sniffing around to see if they bought their favourite peanut butter doggy treats Mouse makes themself. They huff when they don't smell them.
"They ain't lap dogs you know, they're working dogs and you spoil em too much" the farmer sooks, walking over to the three of you. He wants all your attention :(
"Don't listen to him. your daddy is being a meany. You deserve all the love and attention and to be spoilt rotten, 'cause you're both my handsome boys, the bestest boys ever" you whisper, patting the two kelpies.
Daddy? now that's something he likes the sound of maybe one day he can make you a momma (or not! I know EXACTLY where I want it to go but I know not everyone is into all that. )
either way, he's calling you inside with a frown on his face. He deserves to be your handsome boy, your bestest boy ever, not those two butt lickers outside.
You give a small sigh when you come inside. You've never been inside his house before. You wanted to, desperately, but he just never invited you in. Now you're sitting on his bed in his jacket, while he looks through his closet. It's only 10am in the morning but clearly, he's expecting you to stay the night cause he's grabbing house clothes/pj's for you. An old shirt of his and some old boxers. He hopes to god you don't notice the hole in the back of the boxers where he can see your underwear.
You try and tell the farmer that you're only planning on staying a little while (until you stop crying at the drop of a hat) but as soon as you say it, lightning strikes. The sky darkens and the wind howls.
"You ain't going nowhere while it's storming like this"
"I live like a minute-"
"I don't care, your staying"
So you stay the night.
Only to wake to your house burnt to the ground. Luckily everything important and your own bedroom are in an offshoot of the cottage where the fire didn't spread to. But the main bulk of the house is ruined.
But thank goodness the farmer is more than happy to let you stay at his till you find somewhere else.
However, it's really hard to find an appropriate house in such a small town and large county, but the farmer is more than welcome! Just stay with him! Rent free! Just keep cooking like you do and you can stay for as long as you would like.
This man is desperate for Mouse to be his little spouse. So you can bet your bottom dollar he starts treating them as such (murder, manifest, manipulate). Coming in after a long day and practically begging for a massage, cooing to his darlin' how they have magic hands, how he's so lucky to have them, how he would be lost without them cooking for him, taking care of him, making sure he ain't working himself to death.
After a few months he's got reader trained and everything, got them rubbing his shoulder (and feet, ew), packing him lunches for when he gets stuck outside, doing his laundry, sewing his clothes, fussing over him and treating him like a little homemaker would.
But then Mousey is talking about another little cottage down the way that's selling, how they don't wanna be in his hair anymore. How he probably wants his own space back. That's when he lays it on thick. Going on and on about how they can't leave the farm, Pancho and Lefty are going to miss you too much, how he'll probably starve without you, how he'll be so lonely without you.
So you stay, of your own accord. Which is really lucky for you, cause plan b stands for Plan Barn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of course, you may! I'm on my laptop at the moment, so may I call you anon Nova as well?
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Okay but like...
Not the Reader getting sloppy drunk and trying to hug Sevika's butt because she loves it so much sslkdfjldsjfl.
Not her trying to sleep on Sevika's ass bc it's so plush and full, better than any pillow.
sdfkljdslfkjldskjflkdsjf I'll see myself out.
See yourself back in! Also this is ALL OVER THE PLACE im sorry
Sevikas card games are boring af to you so the night usually ends with you really drunk or really high
Y'know that disgusted look she gives the head-licker? If you're an asshugger, that will be paired with a "the fuck are you doing"
If you try to sleep on her ass, she'll pull your complaining body into her arms because frankly, she's embarrassed for you
Will hold you there until you sleep that shit off
Of course, you love all of Sevika so much so none of her body parts are safe
You're at the card table in the brothel, high af in her lap and your face is just buried in those milkers
You've been there so long she's actually concerned because you haven't come up for air
Soft, supple skin overlaying hard muscle pressed against your cheeks. You could barely draw breath, but it didn’t stop you from cupping her breasts and pressing them closer to your face. A hand tangles itself in your hair, firmly but gently pulling your face up to gaze at Sevika's mildly vexed one. “Time to breathe, dumbass.”
Okay, but the nose you love to ride so much? That's getting raspberries blown on it while she keeps her poker face for the boys
Her jaw and neck are sloppily kissed, covered in saliva. Y'know how a dog slobbers?
It’s the third time you’ve missed her lips. Excitement at the cigar finally leaving her mouth may have muddied your coordination because once again, your lips found their way to her jaw. You hope that it looked natural (it did not) and that she was too focused on her card game to notice (she was not). To you, her eyes not leaving the game meant that she had decided it was more important. You begin sucking on her jaw, seeing how much you can get away with. After about thirty seconds, you forget your purpose and start nibbling out of boredom. Sevika’s eyes look down at you and find you with your teeth on display, closed around her jaw, staring wide-eyed up at her. She grimaces slightly when you pull away, a string of spit connecting you two until it breaks. “Wow! That’s really big.” The dark bruise stands out against her skin and you excitedly go to make another. 
Also, you're still annoying even though you should be passed tf out by now
"Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry-" “Can you go like,” your eyes are captivated with the glowing tip of the cigar as she gestures with it. “Five minutes without being a brat.”
Randomly rag dolling in her arms
Anyway you're being an annoying, distracting little shit but she lets you bc she has a soft spot for you stoned and bc you're her baby
You can't understand a word of the convo she's having but you giggle when she does. And when she blows smoke in your face, you think it's the funniest thing ever
"That funny, baby?"
Okay BUT HER BEING PROTECTIVE OF YOU IN THIS STATE
Your adorable antics are attracting attention and she'll snap if anyone gets too close
The fabric that clothed your upper thigh felt as if it were set alight by the hand that was resting on your backside. A hard-muscled body against your front was the only thing in focus, the Brothel and its inhabitants were nothing but a blurred backdrop that could’ve been on a different planet for all you knew. You sure felt like you were floating in space, weightless enough where you would lean back only to feel a hand push you back onto your rock. Every so often one of the prostitutes would approach the gambling table with drinks and they no longer cooed at you in fear of the harsh dismissal your girlfriend would give them. The only thing you could focus on was the delicious looking liquid, rudely kept out of your reach and replaced with a scarred hand offering you water. Dazed, red eyes trail from the glass to Sevika’s face, specifically the seldom smile enclosed around a cigar. “Bottoms up.” “Can I have tequila?” Smoke blows from her nostrils in an amused huff. “Hell no.”
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ventismacchiato · 1 year
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“Update when” “pls update soon!!” SHUT THR FUCK UP YOU INSOLENT FUCKING FLEABAG, YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF A 4 INCH WORM YOU STUPID ASS JUST WAIT, YOU DO REALIZE INSTEAD OF BEING CHRONICALLY ONLINE AND ALWAYS ON KAI’S DICK/PUSSY ABOUT UPDATING YOU COULD SPEND YOUR TIME TOUCHING GRASS AND LET KAI LIVE WITHOUT YOUR STUPID MAGGOT GOGGLING SELF, SO LISTEN HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT, SHIT-POUCH, BITCH, BITCH-BOY, CUNT, ASS, DICK, DICK-FACE, DICK-BAG, DICK-EATER, DICK-SITTER, DICK-NIPS, DICK-HEAD, DICK-WAD, DICK-FINGERS, JIZZ-COCK, COCK-SMOKER, COCK-SUCKER, COCK-GOBBLER, COCK-EATER, COCK-FACE, PUSSY, TWAT, TWIT, SNATCH, PUSSY-FACE, PUSSY-CLOWN, SHIT-FACE, CUNT-NUGGET, CUNT-MUFFIN, CUNT-FACE, CLIT-FACE, THUNDER-CUNT, THUNDER-MUFF, DIPSHIT, DOUCHE-BAG, DUMBASS, DUMB-FUCK, BULLSHIT, BASTARD, TATER-TITS, BUTT-FUCKER, DILL-HOLE, ASS-HOLE, ASS-HAT, ASS-CLOWN, ASS-WIPE, ASS-FACE, ASS-MUNCH, ASS-SUCKER, JACK-ASS, SHIT-LICKER, SHIT-HEAD, SHIT-FACE, WHORE, WHORE-FACE, PISS, PISS-BABY, PISS-DRINKER, PISS-BUCKET-CUM, CUM-DUMPSTER, CUM-GUZZLER, CUM-BUCKET, CUM-TOILET, DRY CUM-SOCK, CUM-BITCH, CUM-SLUT, FUCKER, FUCK-FACE, FUCK-STICK, FUCK-STAIN, FUCK-WAD, FUCK-TARD, FUCK-BOY, CLUSTER-FUCK, SLUT-CHOPS, SLUT, TREACHEROUS SLUT, SHAMEFUL MOTHER-FUCKER JUST STOP ASKING. thank you for listening ☺️ (sorry for the aggressiveness)
- 🪬 anon
HELP HOW DID U COME UP W SM INSULTS
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txfeline720 · 1 month
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Title: Revenge of the Spacebus Part 2 of 2.
Part 1 found here. Link.
Under cut cause its long.
"Are they in position?"
"Yup."
"Is the recorder turned on?"
"Almost."
The mech walked over to the device that sat ever so innocently on the table, staring at a large chair with its knocked out occupants.
The mech grinned in anticipation. "Show time," he said, and he turned it on.
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A splitting headache greeted Frenzy as he came back online. Feeling as if a drunken Devastator had pounded him in a rage, he let out a pained groan.
"Frag," he grunted. With some difficulty, he opened his optics. Only to feel a tide of regret wash over him as Blitzwing's ugly mug filled his vision, looking down at him with a slag-eating grin.
"Rise and shine, pit-spawns," Blitzwing said in a sticky, cheerful tone. Frenzy's tanks churned, threatening to purge their contents if they heard Blitzwing talk like that again.
A snore rumbled to Frenzy's left, distracting his distressed tanks for the moment. He turned his head to the source, only to feel confusion at the sight that beheld him.
The first was that Rumble was asleep, sounding like a truck backfiring. The second was that there was a metal band wrapped around his midsection, trapping his arms, and two wrapped around his legs. The third was the small wall that stood behind the snoring cassette. No, not a wall—an arm rest?
Frenzy looked to his right and saw another arm rest. They were lying on a chair.
Blitzwing looked over to Rumble as well. Still grinning, he reached over and gave Rumble a hard poke, causing him to wake with a yelp. "Hey!" He snapped.
"Wakey, wakey Rumble. Don't want you sleeping through the main event, now do we?" Blitzwing said.
Rumble growled, making a move as if to get up only to notice the metal bands that trapped his arms. "What the frag is this?" He looked up in confused anger. "The frags goin' on Blitz?"
"Yeah," Frenzy said, realizing that he was also tied up. "What gives? You said you wanted us in on your plans."
"And that there would be high-grade if we came," Rumble said, keeping priorities in mind.
"I had to say something to get you to come," said Blitzwing.
The two cassettes froze. "You lied to us?" Frenzy asked. Did this slag-licker just admit to lying to them?
"You lied about the fragging high-grade?" Rumble yelled in outrage. Again, keeping priorities.
"I didn't lie about that. But you're not getting any."
Rumble made a note to smash between Blitzwing's legs the next chance he got.
"Then what the frag is with this?" Frenzy demanded, pushing against the bands for emphasis.
"To make sure you stay in place," Blitzwing explained. "It would be pretty rude to try to leave before getting the experience."
"Experience what?" Rumble asked.
"Me, glitches."
Heavy steps echoed through the room, and Astrotrain came into view to stand next to Blitzwing, his expression unreadable.
"The frag is this about?" Frenzy said.
Astrotrain rolled his head as if in thought. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it has to do with that prank you two pulled this morning. It involved, I don't know, glue, my berth, and me losing my paint job and half of the Nemesis knowing about it." Simmering rage colored his voice when he said the last part.
"We don't know nothin' about it," Rumble blurted out before Frenzy could say anything.
"There was graffiti saying you were there."
A pause. "Some fraggers are tryin' to frame us."
Astrotrain merely shrugged. "Whatever. I'm done being the butt of pranks, insults, and disrespect. I'm getting payback, and you two are the first on the list."
"Do anythin' and Soundwave will scrap you," Frenzy sneered.
"Only if you tell him," Astrotrain said coldly. "And after I'm done, you'll be kissing Megatron's feet and singing his praises before you let a single spark know what happened here."
The familiar churn in Frenzy's tanks returned with a vengeance. A flicker of a nervous chuckle escaped his throat. "Hey, come on, Astro, quit messin' with us," he said, trying to wiggle away from the towering Con that looked like he wanted to squish the pinned bugs before him.
"Yeah! Can't you take a joke or somethin'?" Rumble asked hotly, the fire within him sizzling out when Astrotrain's cold glare turned its gaze on him.
Blitzwing shook his head in mock disappointment. "Quit acting like a bunch of Autobot wussies. He's not going to turn you into scrap metal or anything. He's just going to flatten you with that big, beautiful aft of his," he said before reaching out and smacking said aft.
Frenzy and Rumble froze as though someone threw a cold blanket over them. He's going to what?
Astrotrain made a sound that was like a cross between a growl and a train whistle and slapped the groping appendage away.
He glared at the shameless triple changer with coal-red optics. "Do that again, and I'm breaking your hands."
Blitzwing rubbed the abused hand and huffed in annoyance. "Okay, okay," he said, scoffing. "So sensitive."
Ignoring him, Astrotrain looked back at his victims. "Now where was I? Oh yes." A sadistic, gleeful smile lit his face. "Pucker up glitches. It's kissing time." He then turned around, letting them get a full view of the vast aft that started descending towards them.
The coldness in the cassette's frames and processors melted away by the primal flight or fight instinct that flared up like a solar storm.
"Oh, fragging nah!" Rumble screamed. He flopped on the chair like a fish out of water before quickly trying to roll out of the way of the impending backside.
Frenzy, meanwhile, had managed to flip over to his front and attempted to crawl, in parody of an inchworm, to the edge of the chair.
"Oh, no, you don't." Blitzwing moved in and grabbed the wiggling cassettes by their waists in one hand each and pinned them on their backs in the middle of the chair.
"Let go! Let go of me," Frenzy howled, trying to aim a kick at Blitzwing's wrist to no avail.
"Okay, Astrotrain, quick!"
The giant aft resumed its descent at a faster rate.
"No!" Frenzy and Rumble screamed. "No wait, wait! Fragging-"
Blitzwing removed his hands just as Frenzy's and Rumble's world went dark, threatening to crush the living daylights out of them.
Frenzy turned his head at the last second, saving his face from being smothered by the large aft cheek pinning and pushing down on him. The red glow of his visor allowed him to see Rumble, who, unfortunately, wasn't so lucky. His whole head was nearly enveloped by the metal above him.
"Fragging, slag-licking glitch head!" At least he can still be heard.
"Comfy down there?" Astrotrain asked, with what was definitely mocking smugness coloring the tone.
"Frag you!" Rumble's muffled shout spat out.
"Sorry, not my type." Astrotrain chuckled.
The mass above shifted, causing it to rub against Frenzy's face. "Oh, Primus," he gagged.
"Nice touch down," Blitzwing said. "One for the books."
Both triple-changers laughed.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it out, fraggers," Frenzy snapped. "Cause we'll see who's laughin' when Soundwave finds out about this."
Rumble muffled an agreement.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Blitzwing said. "Unless you want every Con on this mudball to know that two of Soundwave's most annoying cassettes got squashed by a low-down Spacebus's aft…"
Said aft vibrated as Astrotrain growled in warning at the use of the nickname.
"Maybe you two ought to play smart and not say a word to anyone about it."
"Hah!" Rumble laughed. "Like that's goin' stop the Boss from comin' after you."
"Please. The only reason he did it in the past was because mechs you ticked off weren't smart enough to think of ways that didn't involve deactivating you. Do you really think he's going to do anything as long as you two are still in one piece?"
Frenzy's felt his breathing hitch, even when the small, logical part of his processor said that he was biologically incapable of needing oxygen. He would die before ever admitting it, and Rumble was too thick-headed to realize it. But deep down, he knew it was true.
"Thought so," Blitzwing said. "So sit tight and behave yourselves, and Astrotrain might let you go sooner. Til then, enjoy being chair cushions."
The volume of the raging scream both cassettes released was impressive, to say the least.
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"What did I tell you, Astrotrain?" Blitzwing brought out a bottle of high-grade from his subspace. "Nothing like a little power trip to bring you out of the dumps." He poured the intoxicating apple green energy into two glasses before handing one of them to Astrotrain.
Astrotrain wouldn't deny it; knowing he could do it and then did it certainly brought his spirits up. "Did you get the whole thing?" he asked.
"Yup." Blitzwing sat down in the other chair. "All set and ready to be used whenever."
"Great."
A pinprick of pain erupted from Astrotrain's aft, causing him to yell, though not enough to make him stand up. He growled before pushing downward hard until he heard squeaks from beneath him.
"What happened?" Blitzwing asked.
Astrotrain looked up with a frown. "One of them bit me." The scowl deepened when Blitzwing laughed. Typical.
He took a sip of his drink, savoring the bitter, hot taste that settled on his glossa before swallowing it down. "When does Soundwave get out of that meeting?" He asked.
"About another hour. So you have plenty of sweet time to enjoy this moment," said Blitzwing.
"You know, I got half the processor to thank Skyfire for this idea," Astrotrain mused. "For once, that peace-loving shuttle was good for something."
"Hey," Blitzwing said, looking offended. "And who was the mech that told you about it in the first place? If you're going to be thanking anyone, it's me."
Astrotrain mulled this over before going, "Yeah, I guess I owe you one."
"And don't you forget it." With that, Blitzwing leaned back in his chair and swung a leg over the other, bringing his glass up for another swing.
Astrotrain soon followed his lead. He felt the cassettes sink deeper into the chair, causing a flurry of squirming and cursing to occur. A pleased hum rumbled in his chest at the unexpected massage his aft was getting.
Feeling fully relaxed, he shuttled his optics closed and fell into a light recharge.
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fonulyn · 6 months
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Hello :3
Invading the askbox... Which resident evil movie is your favourite? I want to start watching them :)
oh, easy! Damnation! it's fun, Leon is really hot in it, and imo the plot is the most solid one lol. also it's got lickers and I've always kinda been partial to lickers? :'D I don't wanna give out spoilers in case you haven't yet been spoiled but yeah I love Damnation. also, JD is adorable :'D and it's got Hunnigan!
if we're counting Infinite Darkness as a movie (c'mon it basically is movie-length!), then it'd be my second favorite. it's got its issues but overall I like the new characters, it's super pretty, Leon is super pretty, and I enjoyed it a lot. also, Leon's butt. yes, that's it.
third would be Vendetta, it's fun, it's got really really nice Chris & Leon co-op (after we get past the atrocious bar scene lol), and although I hate how they shrunk Leon he is still very pretty in that one too (see a theme here? :'D I'm all in for pretty Leons lmao) and I love him on a bike lol.
then Death Island is fourth, I really enjoyed it but ... I was hoping to enjoy it more if it makes sense? 😅 I looove the Jill & Leon co-op, and it's got really good moments too, but I find the main villain boring and I think they completely wasted Maria. Leon is super pretty tho points for that!
and that leaves Degeneration last in fifth place lol. if I watch Degen, I watch it for Claire tbh. she is the star of that movie. Leon is just a cardboard cutout that doesn't have a single expression lol. he does do some fun parkour tho! and I do like the talk he has with Claire. Degeneration isn't BAD, per se, but it does feel like they threw Leon in for fan points without bothering to actually even give him expressions.
BUT ANYHOW. sorry for the ramble! and sorry for ranking them all instead of just answering the question :'D
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tobiasdrake · 3 months
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A hopeless confrontation with a hopeless demon.
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Quarble, he's too fast. I've tried to dodge and weave and watch for openings but he nails me every time. No matter what I do, it's like he's right there, waiting for me to do it. I can't get away from him.
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"Look, man. This is just a job. I'm not your therapist. Figure it out or don't."
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You really don't have any ideas? You don't know anything or... have any suggestions I can use here?
How am I supposed to beat this guy, Quarble? Eleven times. He's gutted me eleven times. Yeah, okay, lesson learned about underestimating people, but I've been trying really hard. Was I wrong to think I could actually do this?
Maybe he was right. Maybe I'm at my limit. Maybe... this is where my journey ends.
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"...push... through...."
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Did you say something, Quarble?
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"Yeah, I said 'If I don't get any Time Shards soon I'm bailing. Have fun getting dissected again.'
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No, there was something... like a flicker....
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"Hallucinations may be an occasional side effect of being gruesomely butchered, revived, and butchered again repeatedly in a short time period. I say 'may be' because most people give up and accept the sweet embrace of death well before it ever gets to this point."
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"It's a mistake to rely on speed alone; It's too easy to push through. I figured that out early in our training. Zale learned it shortly after."
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We go through.
I've been letting this job get in my head. Trying to be more cautious. Trying to be mindful. But the answer was right there in the fable. I need to stop running.
Luana spent her whole life sparring with a Blade Dancer. It's a style eerily similar to Brugaves's new demon style. To the point that it almost seems like a cruel joke for Aephorul to forge him this way.
Nobody knew better than her how to counter that style. And she wrote it down. You don't run away from a Blade Dancer. You go through.
If he's too fast for you, then he may just as easily be too fast for himself. All you have to do is stand your ground and let him strike himself upon your weapon.
I've been getting in my own head. Worrying about stupid things like safety and protecting myself. When I should have been asking the obvious question from the start.
What would Luana do?
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Hey! Goat-licker. Imagine selling out the people who love you so you can be the Acolytes' gofer. I can't even be vindictive about it 'cause having to live like this is punishment enough.
Sure, you used to have respect, admiration, kids looking up to you with stars in their eyes, and a dedicated life-partner who'd do anything for you. But you're right, kissing the foot of a four-headed butt-chugger every morning is just as fucking good, isn't it?
You're a coward and a fool, Barma'thazel. You were barely any good as a Solstice Warrior. And now you're a bottom-feeding parasite living in a hellhole, clinging desperately to the one gift his master graced him with.
The goddess forgot about you long ago. She's over you. And I'm done running from you. Because I'm better than you.
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It's called crippling overspecialization, ass-weevil. You'd think a general of an armed forces would be able to grasp a concept as basic as that. But I guess you're just too slow.
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Hold up. Do you mean that in the figurative sense? Like, we are all pieces in a larger game that cares nothing for winners and losers, and so in the grand scheme of things we are all doo--
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NOPE LITERAL SENSE VERY LITERAL SENSE GODDAMMIT
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SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK
WHY
WHY CAN'T I EVER JUST WIN SOMETHING
I LOOKED SO COOL BACK THERE
MY HAT WAS SET TO MAXIMUM AWESOME
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
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YEEEEEEEEEES Holy shit, thank you prophesized Lifesaver. Wentworth, you are a sight for sore eyes.
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...wait, what?
...
Errors have been made. You know, I thought you looked a little small to be the colossal dragon that Luana wrote about but I just figured she'd embellished.
In any case, THANK YOU DRAGON BESTIE WOO FUCKING HOO
Let's blow this shithole and go home!
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*deep breath*
In your name.
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sapphire-weapon · 3 months
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That one crazy person who tried to disprove your argument by calling you a furry is wild.
It’s very much a “why were YOU at the devil’s sacrament?” Like, resident evil? The monster fucker fandom? And they think Furry is an insult? People make porn of lickers in this fandom. By all accounts furry content would be tame for this series.
For a while the most porn I saw was Jill and Nemesis and Leon and Mr.X without even looking for it. Would make their heads explode.
like just take a look at any random page on ashley's rule 34.
what you'll probably find are a bunch of pictures with her getting it up the butt by a garrador or something, creepy moushley shit, a random weird futa thing, and some pics of her and leon with leon as far out of focus as possible.
like, that's what this fandom is. that's what this fandom has been since day one. it's never gonna be normal. it's never gonna change. picking out individual people in the fandom and screenshotting their shit in an attempt to bully them is just mean-spirited and accomplishes nothing when you take a look at what else THE ENTIRE REST OF THE FUCKING FANDOM is doing.
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