#dary dixon fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itsmeatballworld · 23 days

Text

| it ends in heartbreak |

pairing | daryl dixon x f!reader

summary | you both knew he would break your heart. he couldn't help himself.

wc | 1400

warnings | cursing, sadness/heartbreak [aka the title]

a/n | I've had this in my drafts forever lol I forgot about this one! Also this is the first time I've ever written pure angst so go easy on me <3

You always knew this day would come.

There were signs pointing to the downfall of your relationship, signs you chose to ignore to enjoy the moments of happiness.

But the signs couldn’t be any clearer–it would never last. It couldn't.

It was the end of the world, for starters. Life was always in shambles. The group never stayed in one spot long enough. Even the prison wasn’t safe. With everything unstable, it should’ve been obvious this would happen, but you were naive to think you’d would be any different.

Because the reality was: this was always how it was supposed to end.

He was built on a fractured foundation. He set up walls and built his life around a broken base, worn down by his past that he couldn't escape. First, parents had cracked and hardened his outlook on life. Then his brother taught him he meant little to others by leaving him behind. Not once did he ever learn how to fix the ache in his heart.

Yet when he met you, things changed.

It was gradual. Pieces of him started to align and heal. The tough outer shell wasn't as indestructible as he first imagined. After some time he opened up and let you in.

But you both knew he would break your heart.

He couldn't help himself. It was in his nature to push back, to fight and wrangle away from anything that became too real. Too good.

But for the time being, you enjoyed the blissful moments of his affection.

When he kissed you goodnight it was over.

He lingered, almost as if he was allowing his lips to memorize the feeling of your skin on his. His fingers fell against your curves as you pressed into the cellblock’s cool cement wall. It was in these seconds of quiet where you both had a chance to breathe.

Pulling back, Daryl rested one arm above your head. He leaned in close, gazing sweetly down at you. His other hand slowly traveled to your face and Daryl’s thumb brushed against your bottom lip.

Without hesitating you whispered the words he never imagined hearing from you.

Love you.

There. Right there. You saw the spark in his bright blue eyes dim. The crystalline color washed away into a deep ocean blue. Rocky and turbulent. Daryl’s eyes were no longer filled with love, but rather, fear.

You lost him, right there, pressed against the concrete wall of Cellblock D.

This was destined to fail.

“Please don’t do this.”

“Have to.”

“No…no you don’t have to, Daryl.” Your chest tightened. It was like the air was on fire. No matter how deeply you breathed in and out, pain still resided in your chest. He was crippling you.

“Daryl–”

“Ain’t up for debate.” He stepped back, snatching his crossbow from the watchtower’s metal flooring.

Your hands fumbled to find your shirt, hating how he sprung this on you in the middle of the night. He didn't have patience to wait, apparently. Just break your heart and go, like it was nothing.

“I’m not trying to…I just…” you groaned. “What happened? Was it me? Did I do something?”

His eyes went wide. That scared, fearful expression washed over him once again.

Fuck, you squeezed your eyes shut. That was it. That look. It was just like the other night. When those stupid words stumbled out of your mouth, falling to the ground at Daryl’s feet. Just before he crushed them with his silence.

“Was it something I said?”

He didn't answer and his silence (unlike most nights) wasn't good enough. You needed answers.

“So that’s it then. You say ‘I’m done’ and leave before sunrise?”

The broody man fought to glance in your direction. Instead, he focused out towards the tree-line. He grabbed onto the windowsill and squeezed so tightly that the white of his knuckles appeared. But his tactics to avoid the conversation at hand weren’t getting past you tonight.

You shot up from the floor. “Daryl.”

“I ain’t got time for this.”

“You fuck me, say we’re done, and leave? Like this was all nothing? Like we mean nothing to each other?”

Daryl paused. He turned to you with lips curled into a tight frown. Even in the darkness of the watchtower, through the bright white moonlight, his frustration was clear.

“I said ‘I love you’, Daryl.” There was a desperation behind your words. Your voice was so deeply distressing it made your chest ache. It was heavy and exhausting to display your feelings out to him in the middle of the night. But you wanted more–deserved more–than a shitty ending to whatever you had with him.

“You think this is love?”

You gawked, “yes!”

He paced the small room like a caged animal ready to pounce.

You love this man.

“This ain’t love.”

You love this man. This jerk.

“Then what the fuck is this, Daryl? Tell me.” You paused, tears welling in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. “Fucking tell me!”

The shirt in your hands balled up tight around your closed fist. You were hurt. Everything about him was trouble and you let him in.

“I said ‘I love you’. I said it and now you’re pulling away.”

As he watched you, just for a moment, his eyes didn’t fill with fear or confusion. There was something there. Between the declarations, he looked apologetic. His blue eyes softened, letting the emotions he desperately tried to conceal slip past those walls he built back up.

“Well, shit! I’m sorry I said it. I fucked this up, didn’t I?” The gravel in your voice scratched your throat. Everything burned.

The apologetic stare turned pitiful. A deep scowl crossed his face and your heart sank. “Can’t mess it up when there was nothin’ here, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. It was so condescending as his drawl pulls at the syllables. That tightness in your chest balled into a pit of rage. Fire that burned you before ignited an anger inside.

You moved closer towards him. “You sleep with me every night. You kiss me before leaving on runs. When you think nobody’s looking, you hold my hand. We talk about our past. Our future. This is real, Daryl.”

“Nah.” He grabbed his belt, twisting it through the loops. “This ain’t real.”

Your fingers tightened on the fabric as you tugged the shirt on. “That’s not true—“

He huffed, staring out into the cloudy night sky. “You’re better off without me anyway.”

“Don’t. Don't say that. I’m not better off without you. I’d be worse.”

Daryl paused.

But the hurt and anger fueling your body didn’t stop. “So don’t make me feel crazy for falling in love with you. Like it was a choice? If I was fucking smart, I would’ve ran far away from you the second we met. But I didn’t. Because I saw you for more than the asshole you pretend to be. So excuse me for feeling blindsided by your decision to leave me.”

“Leave you?” He spat. “Get it through your head, girl. You ain’t mine! You’re just some bitch I screwed.”

The frogs croaking down by the creeks ceased to exist. Trees stopped rustling in the breeze. Crickets no longer sang under the stars. The world froze as his words were thrown at you with such haste. Like he didn’t think twice.

Your arms wrapped around your waist, tugging at the fabric clinging to your body.

He didn’t look back at you. His eyes seemed to drift anywhere but you like he couldn't face the fact that he said it out loud.

No, no. He doesn’t really think that…

Your voice cracked as the tears from earlier were not going to wait much longer. “Daryl–”

He turned on his heels and was out the door. Down the ladder, each step was louder than the last. You paused, bawling your fists as the tears finally spilled across your cheeks. Loud and heaving gasps, muddled together with hot tears.

He broke you down within seconds. The tears and sobs continued on for what felt like forever until you finally had a moment of rest. The tightness in your chest subsided, thankfully, but this was the easier part. Tomorrow will be harder when you’ll have to put on a fake smile, wipe away tears in the dark prison hallways, and avoid him.

Forget him. Forget him…right like it would be easy. It’ll be fucking impossible to forget him.

You wished you could hate him. But you don’t.

So for tonight, you let yourself feel the heartbreak and planned to stand taller tomorrow. Because in the end you knew it would never last.

But it didn't matter.

You loved that man.

Yet after everything, he might have been right. You weren't truly with him.

And maybe he never really cared for you at all.

-xx-

a/n 2.0 | daryl PLEASEE {as if I didn't write him to act this way}

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #dary dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #y/n x daryl dixon #reader x daryl dixon #you x daryl dixon #angsty angst #sad reader and broken daryl #daryl twd #daryl x reader #the walking dead daryl

107 notes · View notes

sirensvcubus · 10 months

Text

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Early season 5

Pure smut//One Shot//Short but sweet//

Daryl Dixon pulls you away from the group while everyones asleep in the forest huddled around the small fire. Daryl furiously kisses you pushing you against a tall tree the bark scratching your skin as he ripped apart your top. He kisses his way down your body as you pull down your pants he kisses your thighs and lower stomach teasing you as he presses his wet lips over your blue lace panties. He gets bellow you pulling them aside with his rough hands trailing up to your bra you hold onto his strong arms caressing them slowly. He holds onto your thighs so tight as he foes down on you. Your sure he’ll leave bruises of his large hands. When you get back early in the morning rick rubs his eyes and grins seeing you two sneak back to the now withering fire. Glenn rolls his eyes as he was on night patrol and you slither back into the comfy sleeping bag. Daryls warm body behind you holding you close kissing your neck before you both drift off.

#daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon smut #daryl #fanfic #smut #daryl dixion x reader #daryl / reader #fanfiction #daryl dixon #twd fanfiction #twd fanfic #twd smut #the walking dead #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fanfiction #dary dixon

276 notes · View notes

greatfandom · 1 year

Text

More fandoms?

Hey guys, are there any more fandom’s you all might be interested in me making a Masterlist for?

So far these are all of I have but I am open to expanding...

ya know as I said above lol

The walking dead -

Mostly Daryl Dixon, but I am willing to start Masterlist for other characters if that's something you guys want.

The Witcher -

I probably won’t be doing a Masterlist as of now, when I learned Henry Cavill won’t be returning for season 4 I Kinda took it as shock and I'm still wrapping my head around it.

The Vampire Diaries -

I have only relogged Klaus at the moment but I am willing to do more characters, just a warning I’m not a big fan of the actor that plays Kol, just google his scandals.

If yall want any more fandoms either comment below/ though I won’t be able to reply, or there's the inbox or you can submit a post

Love you guys!

8 notes · View notes

oingo233 · 4 years

Text

By The Lake*Part Three

Summary: A family friend offers you a place to stay to get away from an abusive past. Her home is a place that you are familiar with, an old town with a large lake you spent many days in. You went there years ago for one full summer, where you became close friends with a very young Daryl Dixon. You two were inseparable until you had to leave. But now you’re back, escaping from a past much like his. You will need to weave your way through the town's problematic people, your own problems, and above all the confusing Dixon. Will you two find your way back to each other again? Or will he push you further away? And above all, will your past cease to haunt you?

Part one * Part Two * Part Four * Part Five

Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and violence(potential triggers), cussing, more mature themes(not smut or anything tho), slow burn romance

Authors Note: Daryl Dixon is a character from the amazing show The Walking Dead, but this story is modern AU so not with all the walkers and everything. I don’t own and I didn’t create his character. Also this story is in no means meant to romanticize abuse, that stuff isn’t romantic. It is such a terrible, terrible thing, but it is sadly a very common thing as well. Throughout this series I only hope that I can spread awareness about the matter, and let people know that they aren’t alone, things will get better, and that no one is deserving of any kind of abuse. Ever. Anyways, I’m done with my rant, I hope y’all like it, and if not please send in some constructive criticisms I’m always looking to improve.

Word Count: 1.7k

*******************************************************************************************

I woke up to the kids screaming, at the cabin door for me to come out. I quickly put on a bra and open the door in my pajamas. Cherry was standing there in a pantsuit with Monty and Rosie by her side.

“Jesus (Y/N), it’s nearly 10.” She shakes her head at me and pushes the kids inside the cabin.

“What! That early.” I joke, but she only humored me with a sarcastic open-mouthed laugh. I run a hand through my messy hair and apologize.

“I’ll make a point to wake up early. But y’all weren’t exactly detailed on the job description.” I point to the kids. She kisses the kids goodbye on the head and stands up to face me again.

“Well my job description implies that I should have left 10 minutes ago. And no, it is not you’re fault.” She glares at her kids and then glances over her shoulder.

“Mark didn’t help me at all this morning. Daryl came over earlier than usual, something bout having less time than he thought. Whatever, my point it that the kids are your problem now.” She smiles at me then bolts out the door before Monty or Rosie can chase after her. I watch her car leave with a sense of dread and excitement. How in the heck am I supposed to keep these guys from dying of boredom?

I stare at the two of them, Rosie is sitting on my bed, and and looking out the window right into the lake...The lake! Cherry said how Rosie loves to swim, and I’m sure Monty wouldn’t mind spending this hot day in the water. Even Mark said a day in the lake would keep them happy.

“Would you guys like to play in the lake today?” Rosie jumps off the bed and screeches a yes, while Monty looks at me with puppy eyes and nods his head a million times. I match my excitement to theirs and usher them outside. I get dressed into my bathing suit, while they sit on the porch waiting. I don’t bother with a shirt after my bathing suit is on, I just put on some shorts and sandals.

As soon as I walk outside Monty and Rosie hop off the chairs and wait for me to lock the door. When I’m done they grab both of my hands and drag me to their house. We nearly tripped five times getting there, but finally the house came into view. Sounds are coming from the open garage not too far away. Some tool was going off and when it stopped a voice filled it’s place. Daryl’s voice. My heart dropped, he sounds a bit different but I could tell his voice from a mile away. I shake my head from any thoughts of him and walk us all forwards. The front door was unlocked so we went inside.

“Alright you two, I want you to go put on your suits and sunblock. Grab anything else you want, and I’ll make us a picnic. You guys like that plan?” Rosie and Monty looked at each other, nodded, then took off sprinting to their separate rooms.

5 minutes later I had two sandwiches done, and 3 bottled waters beside them. I run a mental list of what I need, towels, extra sunblock, food, water, a camera, maybe some toys, and whatever else I can think of. I finish the last sandwich and grab some fruits and snacks from the fridge, which Cherry and Mark said I have free reign of. I had my camera in the bag I brought, and I saw some sunblock in the bathroom last night. All I need are the towels.

I spent several more minutes trying to find those damned things, but couldn’t see them anywhere. I brace myself for what is to come. I have to ask Mark, and Mark is with Daryl.

I make my way outside of the house and towards the open, metal shed. I can see the body of the car just slightly sticking out of the garage. I brace myself as I walk in. Instead of my eyes finding Daryl's again, they are faced with Marks hunched over back. Daryl was no where to be seen. Mark was bent over the hood, fixing something with the engine I guess.

“Uh, Mark?” I call over the loud noises. Mark whips around and nearly hits his head on the open hood of the car. He chuckles to himself and gives me a warm smile. He has oil up the back of his neck, and cheek.

“Oh, hey (Y/N).” Suddenly the loud noise stops and Mark and I hear a loud crash, followed by a sheepish “ow”. Mark leans over the car.

“You alright Daryl?” My cheeks burn red as Daryl emerges from under the car. He had grease and dirt all over him, covering his deep blush, the sight of him took my breath away. If I thought he was cute at 14...well, if my 13 year old self saw him now, I don’t even know what she would do. Daryl avoids eye contact with me, but nods to Mark.

“M’ fine.” He mumbles. He shuffles his feet and the air seems thicker, like he also thought this should be going different. We should be hugging, and catching up. But instead we can’t even look at each other without wanting to drool, or runaway.

Mark turns to me, eyeing the two of us with a sly smile. I can only imagine how Cherry talked us up to be. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at the thought of Cherry telling Mark all about Daryl and I when we were younger.

“Something wrong with the kids?” Mark asks me. I quickly shake my head.

“No, they’re inside getting ready for the lake. We’re going to be over there if you need us.” I suddenly forgot my question for Mark when out of the corner of my eye, I saw Daryl trail his eyes over me, taking me in. I could watch him all day, looking at me like that. Maybe I should wear this bathing suit more often.

“That all?” Mark asks me kindly. I laugh stupidly, god I was standing there like an idiot.

“Uhm no, sorry. I was wondering where the towels were?”

“Oh sure thing. Let me go get them for you.” Before I could stop him, Mark is out of sight and going towards the house. Anxiety courses through me as I turn to Daryl. But all those feelings go away when we lock eyes, we were friends once, why the hell am I so nervous? He isn't a stranger, right? Neither of us said a word, I wanted to say hi, or something witty but I just couldn’t get a word out. He looked at me different, his mouth pulled in a thin line instead of that easy smile he wore years ago. He was the first to break the silence.

“How long you stayin’ this time?” His voice was harsher than I ever remember it being. It takes me a second to gather my wits.

“I don’t know Daryl.” I thought I saw his chest still when I said his name, like he was holding his breath. But he lets out a dry laugh and looks to the floor again.

“Why you slummin’ it anyway?” He said with his eyes trailing around us, then finally setting to a glare at me. His question felt like he poked me with a sharp stick. Who did he think I was?

“This ain’t slumming it Daryl.” I say sharply, he rolls his eyes and and scoffs. A bitter sound.

“Then why’d you make to leave so quick?” He shoots back. Before I could speak he cuts me off. “Nah, I bet you couldn’t wait to go back. Princess goes back to her castle, leaving the lot of us behind.” He sets his tool down and walks around the car, getting closer to me as he spoke. “Like wiping your hands of fucking filth aint’ it.” He seethed at me. I feel my own anger rise, why was he being like this?

“You think I wanted to leave you! That I wanted to leave this place. Daryl you were my friend, my best friend. I would’ve stayed if I didn’t have school, you know that.” I say. His jaw clenches and he walks behind me, bumping my shoulder, he grabbed a rag and wiped his hands from grease. He smells like gas, sweat and cigarettes.

“Ya, well I don’t want no friends. You ain’t no different from any of ‘em!” He couldn’t look at me now, he threw the towel down on the table and walked back around to where he was before I disrupted him. My chest heaved and constricted. How could he say that? I had to go so many years ago, I had to leave him...

Mark cheerfully walks in with a stack of colorful towels in his arms. Clearly oblivious to the tension in the room.

“Here ya go!” He hands the towels to me and a Coke to Daryl. “Back to business then?” Mark jokes. Daryl grunts a reply and picks up his tool again, giving me the cold shoulder. I hold a snarky comment back and turn to Mark.

“Thanks Mark. I’ll get out of your way then.” I say the last part a bit harsher than I meant to, but It wasn’t directed towards Mark.

I rush out of there, and take a few seconds to breath. I refuse to cry, this is going to be a good day. I walk back to the house to see Rosie standing there in a blue, ruffled bathing suit, and Monty in green swim trunks. He was holding onto a large dinosaur floatie, that looked more like the loch ness monster. I beam at their cuteness, feeling better already. I tell them to hold on while I go inside to finish putting the picnic things in a bag. I was only gone a couple of minutes before I walk out to find them with white streaks all over their body. In my absence they put sunblock on, badly may I add. I laugh and help them rub it in.

You three make your way to the lake, completely oblivious to Daryl’s gaze, and his sad, hidden smile, as he watched you walk away.

#daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl imagine #twd #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon&reader #romance #angst #teen romance #young norman reedus #young daryl dixon #dary dixon fanfic #dary dixon/reader #twd fic #twd fandom

58 notes · View notes

highwriter42069 · 3 years

Text

Lost

Summary: Your tired,you’re hungry. The world looks bleak,you’re looking for your friends. Soon,you see a shape in the distance. It looks familiar

TW- i don’t think there are any? Typical TWD stuff I guess lol. A lil angst

Daryl x Reader

I’m not sure exactly how I got here. I was with someone before I got lost- I think.

Something happened.

Someone attacked.

I wasn’t sure what to do after everything had calmed down ,so I had decided to follow the small group of people that I found. They seemed nice enough. They never bothered me.

But I’m alone now,searching. My friends are all gone.

The sun is blinding,but I have no strength to block the rays from my eyes.

My tired eyes.

My sore eyes.

God,I’m so tired.

I wish I could just collapse,but I have to keep searching. I’m starving.

My joints ache,my fingers are numb from the chill in the air.

I continue trudging through the dense woods,briars ripped through my skin, tree branches caught my clothes.

I walked on for what seemed like hours. Finally I saw an end to the woods that seemed to go on forever.

There was a clearing,and an old,dilapidated house sat just at the edge of it.

It was oddly familiar. Had I been here before? My mind was foggy as I tried to pry memories out.

I clambered up the porch steps.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard footsteps coming from the area I had just been through.

Someone had been following me.

I waited to see what or who would appear. There was a movement in one of the bushes. Then an arm appeared. They stepped out into the clearing.

A man.

But who was he?

I walked to the edge of the porch. As I got closer,I could recognize him, but I didn’t have a name for the man.

Who was he?

He seemed to recognized me. We stayed in place,watching each other from a few yards away.

He seemed upset.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The archer followed the figure for hours,not making a noise. He was mindful of where he planted his feet, as to not announce his presence.

He had been in the woods looking for his dear friend for days. (against the better judgment of his group back at home)

He had searched almost everywhere for her. Every spot he could think of. The house she liked to hide away in was the last on his list.

He hoped that she had just gotten tired of the business of Alexandria and just needed to get away for a bit.

He watched as the figure walked into the clearing.

He stood just inside the edge of the woods to see what the figure would do.

He was anxious.

He watched the weakened form of his friend climb the steps,nearly falling a few times.

He knew what he had to do. He was trying to muster up the courage to do it.

She stood at the door. She seemed to ponder something.

He hoped that she was just sick,that’s why she had been wheezing and tripping over everything in her path.

He knew better. His hope was for nothing. He was being stupid.

He slowly walked into the clearing,she heard him and turned to face him.

He stopped suddenly,he felt sick to his stomach.

She moved to the edge of the porch,leaning over the railing. Arms outstretched.

He couldn’t do anything but watch her.

She didn’t look anything like the girl he knew before.

Leaves and dirt were caked into the mess of hair that used to be intricately braided and tossed over her shoulder.

Her shirt was dirty, dried blood was covering her shoulder and chest.

He wished she could snap out of it and go back to being the lively ,almost irritating, girl she had been.

He felt a pang of guilt for not coming to search the woods around her old retreat sooner.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The man raised his arm,in his hand he held a large object. It was blurry,I couldn’t quite make it out.

I raised my arms,trying to block the sun as I attempted to get a better view of the man.

I heard a snap,then nothing.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yeah idk what I’m doing. I didn’t exactly have time to proofread. I’m sorry you had to view this with your eyeballs.

105 notes · View notes

dontdietwd · 4 years

Text

Days 73 to 76

There was a quick knock on the door, the signal we’d agreed on to wake someone up when it was time for their watch. It was mine. Daryl woke up instantly as well, ready and attentive.

“Shh, it’s okay,” I told him and I sat up. “It’s just my turn to watch, don’t wake up.”

“You’re on tonight?” he asked, his voice sleepy and tired.

“Yeah, a couple of hours. Gonna be back at four to sleep some more.”

“’Kay… Careful out there.”

“I will. Just sleep, love…”

He answered with a sleepy hum and was probably already asleep when I quietly left the room. The house was silent and dark, it felt peaceful. The blue night light coming through the windows were enough to illuminate my way downstairs and to the back door.

There was nobody there. I looked back at the corridor and at the front door in the end of it, and there was Shane, standing with his side to me, staring. There was something in his eyes. He was on his spot on the lookout as agreed, but… I don’t know. There was just something.

“Who’s switching with you?” I asked quietly, jut loud enough for him to listen to me from across the house.

“My shift will be done in an hour. Dale will come down.”

I nodded, looked at him for another moment, and turned to get out through the door. The night was a bit chilly and it felt good after the heat of the day. Crickets were singing and everything was just so quiet, so still, and there was a smell of wild flowers in the air, it was hard to imagine the way the world was now. It all seemed to be so alright, so why the hell did my wrist ache like that? Why was my heart tight as if something terrible had happened?

From out on the backyard, I looked into the house and Shane wasn’t there on my line of sight anymore. He was patrolling. Just patrolling. I’d never been afraid of Shane before, why was I now? I could defend myself and Shane knew it, he saw what I did to Ed. Given, Shane was stronger and bigger… And trained. But why was I thinking about it? He was not about to attack me. I was just being stupid.

“We never get much of a chance to be alone, do we?” his voice came from the corner of the house. He had rounded it, leaving his post, and was walking slowly towards me, both thumbs on his front pockets, the other fingers resting by his groin.

“Your door’s unguarded, Shane,” I told him, my voice steady and my wrist burning.

“It’s fine, we can both see it from here,” he said as he stopped in front of me and looked into the house where the front door was visible at the other end of the hallway. “It’s alright. Night’s quiet. We can talk.”

“What you wanna talk about?” I said turning more to him but stepping back. I was uncomfortable with his proximity.

“You ‘n I, Sam? Never seen eye to eye, have we? Since the beginning, on the road.”

“You can put it that way.”

“But one thing we got in common… We both want what’s best for the group, even if we disagree on how to do it.”

“You seem more focused on just a part of the group lately,” I said and regretted it. He was being threatening, if not with his words, with his posture, and I was saying this kind of stuff to him? Bad move, Sam.

“You know Lori’s pregnant, right?” I nodded. “It’s my baby.”

“She says differently.”

“No matter what she says. It’s mine.”

“It’s hers in the first place, Shane.”

“Yeah…” he nodded, a dangerous smile on his face and I dared one more step back but he followed it. “Thing is, Samantha… Baby’s mine. Lori’s mine. And this whole fuckin’ group’s mine. And you’re out.”

Not a chance to tell him my name is not Samantha. Not a change to step away from him. Not a chance to react. A rag was out of his pocket and his hand was pressing it against my mouth and nose, his other hand cupping the back of my head, holding it in place.

Chloroform.

I fought. My arms were hitting him all around, my legs kicking and I was holding my breath but it didn’t seem to matter because the smell and the effects were happening anyway, and I screamed, called out for Daryl, except that I’m not even sure I was really screaming or if it was just in my head. Things didn’t fade away slowly into darkness, it was sudden. In a millisecond I was fighting, in the other I was not. I was… Nothing. Nowhere.

* * *

Where the fuck was I?

I was lying down, it was night, my head hurt like a motherfucker. It was all I knew for a long moment. Turning my head to the side hurt a lot, my eyes were burning, and what the fuck had happened?

Oh, right. Shane.

Son of a bitch.

I looked to my right side, a huge effort and my eyes took a moment to focus, but when they did, there was the fucker. Shane was up, a few steps away from he, and he was dealing with two walkers. If there were walkers around, I’d need to protect myself. I patted my waistband, nothing. Raised my hands to my shoulders, the holster wasn’t there. I was bare of any weapons. I had to get out of there before Shane killed the two walkers and could get back to me, but just as I tried to lift my head, what I saw coming right at me was a third goddam walker, a big male, and he was one of the worst I had seen. In the second before he fell over me growling a drooling, I saw his stomach was cut open and there were darkened, fetid guts coming out of the gash. He was on top of me then, my mind was too slow to jump up before he did. I’d have been much faster without the chloroform. The thing had its hands on the grass by my head and was growling and hissing trying to bite my face off. With no weapons, I screamed as I raised my hands to its face, pushing it up and away from me by its hollow cheeks but even dead it was strong, the instinct to feet giving it all the strength it needed.

I couldn’t kill it. I had nothing, my mind was fuzzy, I felt weak.

I was gonna die.

As a last resource I pushed my thumbs in the walker’s eyes. It kept on just as it was before, no sign of pain or the natural desperation any person would feel with someone pushing fingers into their eyes. It just wanted to eat me. I kept on pushing, deeper and deeper, until I felt the eyeballs pop and some sort of putrid liquid fall on my face, and still I kept on, keeping my mouth closed so I would swallow any of it, and deeper, stronger, until I felt my thumbs entering a mushy goo, a disgusting noise, and the walker stopped. That liquid and blood rained down on my face, neck, chest, I was covered in it, but the walker was dead and it hadn’t bitten me. Breathing hard, exhausted already, I pushed its body off of me and it rolled to the side.

But then Shane was there, standing up and looking down on me, also bloody and I hoped he’d been bitten. I tried to get up but he held me down. I fought him off but he sat on my stomach and held me down.

“Just give in, bitch,” he said with rage dripping from his tone, holding my hands down to the ground. “You took everything from me. Took everything I had. Spoke some shit ‘bout me to Lori, I know it was you, she liked me and the she didn’t and it was you! I should have never asked you to go with us. I should have left you to die on that road!”

I don’t know what I was screaming, I just know I was, and I was trying to grab him with my legs but he was too big and I was not on my right mind and I couldn’t. I had trained that so many times before, I knew I could do it but right now I was helpless.

“You’ll be found dead. I tried so save you but you got bit, all they will see is you waking around, undead. Not getting on my fuckin way again, bitch!”

“Like you did to Otis?!” I shouted up at him and his hands instantly let go of my wrists and found my neck.

“You got me all figured out, don’t’ ya? Yeah, just like I did to Otis. Greater purpose.”

He squeezed my neck and I couldn’t breathe anymore. My face felt like it was going to burst, I fought for air, fought to get him to let go but nothing worked. He was staring right at my eyes as he choked me, he was going to watch me die and take his pleasure in it.

I was dying.

I don’t know if people’s lives pass right in front of their eyes when they are dying… Mine didn’t. All I thought was of the present, just tonight, just Daryl telling he loved me. Just what my death would do to him, and that my baby was dying with me, not even a chance to live and fight and it was so fucking unfair.

Desperation is not a word clear enough to describe what I felt being strangled like that. I kept fighting, all I needed was a breath and I might have strength to fight Shane of, but the breath didn’t come. I was never coming again.

There was a far, faint sound that seemed like someone shouting Shane’s name. But I don’t know. I was probably never gonna know because I was about to die.

Everything disappeared around me and I was no more.

* * *

I thought maybe it was afterlife, because it was so confusing and fuzzy that I didn’t recognize anything at first. Took me seconds, maybe minutes, to start to understand I was still there, laying on the same meadow. My head and my throat seemed to be on fire, they hurt so much, and that was what made me understand I had not died. Next thing I noticed was the sounds. Moans and groans of walkers all around me, on every side just as I laid there, and I risked a glance to the side.

My heart clenched in my chest and coldness filled my stomach. I was in the middle of a herd. I was frozen, paralyzed, couldn’t move another muscle, just my wide eyes as I looked everywhere I could. Nobody alive, just the dead and me, and there seemed to be thousands of them. Some were dormant, walking around in circles, but most were going in the same direction, following each other to an unknown destination. After what felt like hours I dared to turn my head to the other side and it was only than I knew I wasn’t alone.

Or, well, I actually was. Because he was dead.

Shane was fallen right by my side, his head turned to me, eyes wide open, the rage frozen in his dead face, and on his temple there was a shot. Somebody had shot him. So somebody had been there. Somebody saw him, saw what he was doing, and shot him. Maybe somebody was still around.

This made me get the strength to sit up. Before, though, I looked up at the sky, took a deep breath, as deep as I could with the stench, and lifted my head, looking down at myself. I was covered in blood and guts and I remembered the walker I’d killed before and realized that damn walker had most likely saved my life, because the others couldn’t detect me now. I smelled just like them. And just as I thought it…

The first walker found Shane. He wasn’t transformed, so even dead he still smelled great to the walkers. It started eating him and chewing loudly. I froze, they were right my me, inches away, and another walker, then another, and if I stayed there I was gonna get buried in them. I had to go.

Even in panic, I sat up as slowly as I could for them not to notice I had the motion of the living. Everything hurt. It was like I was beat us and not just doped and strangled. Every muscle of my body complained, my head screamed, but still I got up to my feet and started walking away. Looking ahead to where the herd was going, I finally understood where I was.

The farm. Why had Shame brought me to the meadow at the farm? I mean, why?! That he’d wanted to kill me I got it, he hated my guts, but why the farm? Guess I’d never know because he was just turning into carcass right by my feet. But what I was seeing bothered me much more. This immense herd had reached the farm, there was movement there and I started hearing shots but it was all too far for and dark for me to recognize anybody. I kept walking and I was unsteady, feeling weak, like I’d faint from hurting and from panic at any moment.

But you know when you think things could never get worse but they just… Do? A moment you never see coming, but changes everything in your life, your future?

Someone screamed. Loud, desperate.

“NO!!!”

It was Daryl. I found him by following the sound of his painful scream, and he was still screaming it. I saw him. He was running to me, to this herd all around me.

No, Daryl, please, it’s too dangerous. They don’t see me but they’ll see you!

Then there was people holding him and I saw Rick, Glenn and Theo stop him and he fought them like hell to get away, to go to me, his screams turning to cries… And it hit me.

He thought I was dead. He thought I was one of them.

No, no, fucking no!

The others were dragging him away, most likely saving his live, but then they were going, fleeing from the herd, movement ahead at the farm house as others did too. They were gonna leave, they had too, but I was there, and I was fucking alive!

I started walking faster, as fast as I could, which wasn’t much, and raised a hand as I tried to call out, scream, and thank God my throat was too hurt to do it because I wasn’t thinking. I was surrounded by walkers, I couldn’t just scream! But still I tried to run, maybe Daryl would see I wasn’t walking like the dead, but the others had dragged him away then and he wasn’t looking in my direction anymore, his screams getting lost more and more among the dead’s groans.

This couldn’t be happening. No, just… No! Daryl thought I was dead. They were leaving the farm! They were leaving me behind not even knowing they were doing it.

I was fucking alive! I was still alive…

But maybe not for long now what I whimpered in desperation to scream, tears rolling down my face, and they saw me. At the same time, what felt like a dozen walkers turned their dead heads right at me.

For the third time that night I thought, that is it, I’m dead.

No weapons, no strength, no people, all I could do was look around to find the path that had the least walkers and run there. It was in the opposite direction, towards the woods. I started running and I was too slow, they’d catch me. I dodged a few of them on the way, pushed a few them away, and ran, just ran, my pace picking up slowly. I crossed the line of trees and looked back. No more walkers in front of me but many behind, following me. I couldn’t count but if I had to guess I’d say like fifty of them. I ran blindly among the trees, twigs hitting me, cobwebs gluing to my sticky skin, and I didn’t know where I was going or what was happening, but I just ran, my muscles screaming.

In my mind, Daryl was screaming. Kicking and fighting to get to me. I heard it over and over again. The agony in his voice pierced into my heart and I started crying even as I ran, getting even more blind to my surroundings.

What the fuck had happened? Who shot Shane? Why did the one who shot didn’t help me? Did they also think I was gone, that there was no more time? Was it the herd what made them not get to me? How did the others know what was happening? When did Daryl wake up at the house and got to the farm?

I had to get to the house, but to do so I’d have to turn around and go back to the farm and cross it, which I knew it was impossible because where were thousands of walkers there. I had to go around then, a long, real long way and in the dark I was most likely going to get lost, but it was my only option. But the walkers where still behind me, too many of them, I couldn’t make my way now. I needed to get rid of them. Their groans were too loud, which meant they were really close and really too many. I’d have to get them dispersed, maybe I could kill one by one if they weren’t too close to one another, and for that… I’d have to keep walking.

Day 74

When day rose I could see them better. They were a little less than I thought, but still a lot. I had been escaping them for hours, my legs were weak and trembling, the pain was unbearable, but still I walked in the same pace as they did, and they never gave up, they wouldn’t just let go, their instincts were gonna make them keep following me to the end of earth. I had to kill them. I had to kill over thirty walkers with nothing in hand and when I was near death myself.

So if I was gonna die anyway… I would fucking die fighting like hell.

Never stopping walking, I looked for something that’d help me on the forest ground. Before, when it was dark, it had been impossible to see anything, but now my eyes caught a long branch on the ground, broken from a tree, resulting in a splintered yet sharp tip. That was it. I stopped and turned, testing the branch weight in my hands, and when the first walker got to me and I pierced its brain with the tip, I saw this could work.

So I kept letting them come to me, not bothering to escape anymore.

There was a pile of nearly ten walkers on the ground already when the long branch broke and I was left with it much shorter, which made me need to get even closer to the walkers I killed, but it ended up working well too. There were still walkers coming at me, but they were sparser now, and I lost count of how many I had to kill as I started walking back the way I had come.

I needed to get back to the farm. I needed to know what was happening, where they’d all gone, if they were still at the house or had it been overrun too? Was anybody hurt? Was Daryl safe?

My heart hurt physically imagining what he was feeling. I put myself in his place and thought of how I’d feel if I’d seen him as a walker. Part of me would have died. My heart would have been unrepairable broken and I’d never be the same. And he loved me. He said it just last night… He loved me and he thought I was dead… And now I was crying as I walked, no more walkers at sight for now. I tumbled around, hoping I was on the right way, I didn’t know if I had been walking in a straight line, probably not, and I’d end up lost in the woods.

But among the thinning trees I saw I reached the farm. The sun was high in the sky and I calculated I had walked for around three hours in the dark, stopped to fight walkers and then walked all the way back, so it was probably around noon, which meant I’d been gone, dead, for the entire morning.

It’d been too long. Way too fucking long…

I stopped there and couldn’t go any further. Leaning on my side on a tree, a hand on my baby bump, please, please be alright, I remained there for a long moment, tears falling freely down my face because I had no strength to even sob anymore, as I watched hundreds of walkers all around the farm, on the meadows, around the barn, on the tent area we’d lived in, around the house, on the porch. They were everyfuckingwhere. It was impossible for me to get in there. I wanted into the house, clean myself up, have water, something to eat, but I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to swallow anything, my throat hurt so badly.

But I couldn’t just stay here watching the farm. I had to go to the house, maybe the walkers hadn’t got there, maybe there were all in, safe, maybe Daryl was there. So I restarted my slow, painful walk, going to my left as to go around the farm, at least cross the land through somewhere with no walkers. It was a really huge farm…

I found the stream. A God’s blessing, if he existed or was even looking at me. I all but fell in the water, drinking desperately, the pain on my throat not stopping me from getting the most needed large gulps. I got a bit more alive then. I washed my face, took off my shirt and tried to clean it against a rock. It didn’t do a good job but part of the blood and guts that were there did wash off. Then I rubbed my body with the shirt itself and felt a bit more human. My dreads were caked but there was no time to deal with them now, so I just knotted them as high and away from my face as I could, put on the dripping shirt back on, took a deep breath to muster the courage, and kept on my way.

I killed many more walkers on my way to the house. The spike had broken halfway there and I had to find another one, not as good as the first but it did the job. I was wandering robotically by now. I don’t know where my energy came from, I was miserable, hungry, hurt and hurting.

Shane… That son of a bitch, look at wat he’d done! He tried to kill me! Sadness gave place to rage as I thought about it and it helped. It was good to feel something other than despair. It kept me going. I wished Shane was alive just to I could fucking kill him.

It might have been late afternoon when I found the area of the house. It’d been difficult because had no idea where I was and when Daryl and I had found the house we’d been on other area of the woods, and the second time we came from the road with the cars. But I did find it and stopped at the line of the woods, watching.

No cars. No sounds. No bike.

Around the house, by the roses, inside the house, visible through the open door and windows, there were tens of walkers dormant walking aimlessly around.

Nobody was there. They were gone. Daryl was gone.

In a last flicker of hope, I thought they could be on the road where it all started. Where it all started… I was already dry in thirst again when I forced myself to move. I needed to walk to the road…

I need to get to the road. I need to find Daryl… Daryl…

* * *

Sophia, stay... We…

There was water and food, a blanket and a flashlight. Nobody had found it, Sophia obviously hadn’t, and if they had been there after escaping, they had ignored it. It was all still there, and I drained one of the bottles of water immediately. It was warm and nearly made me throw up. I grabbed the jar up peanut butter and opened it desperately, my last meal had been the turkey – oh Daryl… – and I ate it with my fingers as if it was a feast. Still eating it, I kept on walking among the cars, just… Looking. Looking for someone, some sign, some life… And there was nothing. They didn’t wait. There weren’t there waiting for anything. They had nothing to wait for, or to look for… Because I was dead.

Dusk found me sitting on the asphalt, crying and completely alone. My heart physically ached more than my head and my throat, it hurt like it never had before.

I’d been left behind.

Day 75

It was a good thing I’d still had the mind to crawl into a car to sleep instead of just lying there on the road because what woke me up was the sound of a walker by my window, groaning and leaving goo all over the glass, trying to reach me.

Fuck, just leave me alone for a fuckin’ minute!

Day was high by then, I probably slept a lot, many hours and my body needed to recover, and even though I still felt miserable I did feel a bit stronger. I still had no weapons on me, though, and the walker was right there. Looking out of the car through the dusty windows, I tried to find something that’d help, since the inside was clear, but there was nothing I could come up with. So I stopped and looked at the walker at the window.

That’s it motherfucker. Leaving through the opposite door, I rounded the car before it could follow me, opened the back door and grabbed the wanker by its neck when it reached me. Groaning, I maneuvered it to the open door and slammed it shut on its head. It still groaned after the first bow so I repeated it twice more, making her brain explode everywhere.

It was eerily silent after that.

I walked back to where the sign for Sophia was and on the way found a bag full of useless papers. They flew in the wind along the road when I tossed then away. The bag was filled with the rest of the food and water, the blanket and flashlight. Hanging it on my back, I walked.

Miles ahead, the jammed cars were sparser and the road elongated in front of me until it was empty of cars. Right there, at this mark between all the looted, abandoned cars, and the empty road, I stopped. There were track marks. Larger ones like in a truck or the RV and a single one like in a bike. They’d gone through here, and Daryl had been riding his bike. I mean, that if this was really them, those marks could have been there for a long time, but they did make me hope and keep walking, following them. Maybe I could still catch up, even though they were motorized and I was walking and it had been over a whole day…

No. Don’t. Don’t lose hope. It’s all you got now. Just go.

I stopped just once to eat from a tuna can, sitting in the middle of the road, and kept going. It was when the sun started to go down that I stopped seeing the marks. They were faded, as if they’d gained speed and not needed to hit the breaks for anything. There was nothing to track anymore, and it wasn’t like I knew how to track or if Daryl was here with me to do it.

Daryl wasn’t here with me…

God, I missed him.

I sat again, this time with my back against the guardrail, and I knew it wasn’t safe, I knew walkers could come up from the woods behind me, that people could show up, that I was being too loud, but I lost all control. I just lost it. I sobbed loudly, my heart broken, all hope gone. They were gone and I was alone and there was nothing else to do now but cry, but to feel all those painful feelings, but trying to find a why and a what could I have done. Why hadn’t I escaped Shane before he could put the chloroform in my nose? Why hadn’t I attacked him? How did I not see that he was approaching with bad intentions? Why didn’t I run to Daryl when I saw him, ignoring the possibility of getting bitten by all the dead around me? At least I would have tried… If I’d got bitten at least I would be here now, alone…

But then my baby would be dead too.

My baby… My little boy…

I stopped immediately, hugging my stomach. “Please be fine…” I whispered. “It’s just the two of us now. Please be fine…”

It was getting dark and I needed shelter. Time to stop with the self-pity.

Get the fuck up, Sam.

Minutes ahead I found a dirt road coming out of the main road and took it. A few miles on, there was a little wooden house, more like a cottage, with a dry hedge all around. I circled it carefully looking for signs of life or death and found nothing. In the backyard, a tree stump with half cut firewood was left abandoned, an old, long handled axe suck to it. So then I had an axe again, after so long. I remembered I had gotten well with the axe I had before letting it fall on the street in Atlanta when I ran to recover the bad of guns. That would do well.

The back door of the cottage opened easily with a strong shove. The whole space smelled like mold, but it was clean of walkers and seemed to be empty for a long time. That would do for tonight.

I sat at a corner, curved around myself as I ate from another can and had some water, and tried to sleep, wrapped in the blanket. I missed that bed… I missed the tent I’d slept in with Daryl.

My god, how I missed him…

Day 76

I emptied the last of the water I had when I woke up and ate one more can, this time of anchovies. I’d always hated anchovies, but well. With more light now, I looted the house a little but there was nothing useful to me. Leaving the house though the back door, I saw there was a pear tree with a few fruit and they seemed not to be ripe yet. Either way, I took the few I could reach and put them in the bag.

Getting back to the dirt road I saw this was actually a small neighborhood and there were houses all along this narrow road. The axe was in my hand when I reached the next door house and looted it as well. In there I found a slingshot and nothing else. I had never used a slingshot in my life, but I thought I could give it a try, so I tossed it in the bag. On the third house there were a few cans of soup but looking at it I saw they had been expired for nearly two years. This house had to have been abandoned since long before the apocalypse. Across from it, on the fourth house, I found a large jar of honey and sat at the kitchen table to eat a bit of it. My taste buds exploded at it and I felt the energy returning to my body at the presence of sugar. But now I needed water. In this same house I found also a jar of hearts of palm and canned peaches.

So I went to the next one, and after this fifth house there would only be two more to go. The front door of this one had been busted open already, so I entered carefully, axe in hand and raised. There was noise on a corner, like someone was hiding there. The house was dark even in daylight, with boards covering the windows, a strong smell of mold and dust making me want to cough. I walked slowly over every corner and was just considering leaving the house and letting it go when I was jumped on. Someone attacked, and it was dark and I held them at bay, pushing the away as strongly as I could so I’d have room to lift my axe and –

“Sam?!”

I froze and then…

“Andrea!!”

I had never liked her and the she’d shot Daryl but fuck was I happy to see her! My axe fell and we hugged tight, laughing in relief.

I found them! I’d found them!

“You’re alive!!” she exclaimed laughing as she let go and held me by my shoulders. “I heard you were dead, turned!”

“Where are the others?” I asked instead of answering, this was not a question that could wait any longer.

Her face fell, though, and I knew she was alone.

“I got lost from them… The herd, they... I had to run and they had to go. They left me behind.”

“Fuck…” I said. She was just as lost as I was. “How’d you know they think I’m dead?”

“Heard shouting. Daryl was… He was out of his mind and Rick kept telling him he couldn’t go there because you were gone, he’d seen you dead. But I don’t know much after that because I had to escape and I never found them again.”

Nodding and feeling the sadness that was getting old washing over me like rain, I let myself slide to the floor, my back against the wall.

“What happened?” Andrea asked as she sat in the middle of the hallway, facing me.

I told her all of it, since the lockout with Shane and what he’d done to me. She was tearing up when I finished and I was too, but I was tired of crying and time was flying. So I forced myself up, reached a hand to help her up saying, “Let’s check the rest of the houses for any signs of them and for food, and then we’ll go back to the road. It’s the last place we know they’ve been, so it’s where we gotta stay.”

* * *

They had been siphoning cars on the road for gas. I wanted to believe it was them, at least. Someone had taken all the gas from every car we found, none worked, so Andrea and I kept on walking. She had found water before and had a few bottles on a bag, so we were good on it. We stopped once to sit down and rest a little, eating what I’d found, but for the most part we simply walked. Walked…

Night was falling and we’d decided we’d stop at the next town or car we found to rest for the night. Here was a car a few miles after that, but now that we were not alone it would be safer since one could sleep while the other took watch. Andrea offered to take the first and I was glad because I was simply exhausted.

It was probably a couple of hours of sleep. I’d just disappeared into slumber, not even enough time to think of all that had happened before blacking out. I was woken up, though, and in the second I opened my eyes I knew something was wrong.

The back door of the car by my head was open and Andrea was there, crouched on the ground, calling me.

“Someone’s coming!” she whispered urgently.

“Is it –”

“Not them!”

I was wide awake in an instant, patting myself for my knives and guns, but remembered I didn’t have them anymore and Andrea had my axe. So I slid out of the car, grabbed her hand and pulled her urgently to the woods. We stopped just a few trees in, hiding behind a large trunk, and watched. Andrea handed me my axe as we did, in silence. It didn’t take a minute for us to see them: two man with flashlights were checking the car and, clearly as day, we heard them talk in the silence of the night.

“They ran through there,” one was pointing directly at us. “Two women I think.”

“Were they alone?” the other asked.

“Saw only them, guess so.”

“Good…” the other said and his tone sent chills all over my spine. “We getting ourselves some warmth tonight.”

Andrea and I looked at each other, her eyes wide in fear. Then the man left the road, entering the woods and coming right at us.

“Run!”, I mouthed to her and we took off, the men instantly seeing us, shouting and following. Once again I saw myself running in the woods in the dark without seeing where I was going, and I was sick of it, but this time it was even worse because these were people, and people could me so much worse than walkers.

They were fast and we were both too tired to outrun them. They’d catch us, unless we attacked first.

Unless I attacked first.

So I reached a hand for Andrea to make her stop and dragged her down onto the roots of a big tree. Not questioning it for a moment, she sat there and made herself small as was shaking in terror but kept quiet. I stood there, my back against the tree, breathing hard.

Don’t hesitate. Do not hesitate.

Their running footsteps were closer and closer and I prayed that I’d get the timing right. Closer, closer. My heart was beating loudly in my years, and still I heard them.

Don’t hesitate.

I swung the axe sideways with all the strength I could muster onto the path by the tree and it met his chest, penetrating him deeply right at the heart. He screamed in agony and loudly but just for a moment. I tried to hold on to the axe as he fell to the ground, motionless, but it had gotten stuck there and fell with him.

I’d just killed another man.

The other one came running than, enraged, and tackled me to the ground. I hit it hard, tree roots hurting my back bad and making the air escape my lungs, and for the second time in three days I had a man on top of me, trying to kill me. I’d be damned I let his hands around my neck, so I screamed and fought like hell to keep his hands at bay, but quickly enough I heard Andrea growl loudly just before she attacked him with the axe. It stuck to the back of his head and he was dead instantly. I froze for a moment, some blood showering down my face, but quickly recovered and rolled his body away from me.

Andrea had the axe in hand, breathing hard, eyes bugged glued on the dead man. I’d done this before, this was my second kill and both of them had been to protect myself. But this seemed to be her first time. I got up and carefully approached her, reaching out for the axe.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I told her quietly and she turned her wide eyes to me. “It’s alright. Just hand me the axe. Good, there you go,” I took it and rested it against the tree. “You alright?”

She stuttered before being able to say “I killed him.”

“You did,” I said holding her shoulders to keep her looking at me. “And you saved my life. You saved my life, Andrea,” she just blinked, saying nothing, maybe only now understanding that. “He was gonna kill me. Rape me most likely, and then kill me. You saved my life. Focus on that.”

She nodded weakly and blinked, so I took it as a good sign. I pulled her with me to go back to the road, talking the life savior axe with me before going. I was not in a much better condition than her, but I had to keep calm or she’d panic. My stomach was in knots and I felt a bit faint, but it was only when we got back to the car and she sat down on the back seat that I let go and threw up on the side of the road.

5 notes · View notes

ficstogo · 5 years

Text

Normal

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Word Count: 6,248

Summary: Daryl feels as if things aren’t the same now that you’re all in Alexandria. As if you no longer need him since what use to be his favorite things to find for you are all in Alexandria.

Warnings: Language, Grammar and Spelling Errors

A/N: I just never know how to end these one shots. Or how to title them but here it is.

It was stupid. It was so stupid of you to do this. Honestly, you can live without it but for some reason, you thought the opposite as well, yet here you were, standing in front of Daryl’s cell, hesitating on whether you should intrude his privacy to ask him a very stupid question. A question that could really set his opinion of you being annoying to the max.

“You goin’ keep standin’ there or you goin’ come in already?” His gruff and annoyed voice startled you out of your ridiculous overly thought out ideas.

You grab the drape that was in front of his cell and pull it to the side to enter. You hate yourself right now because there he was looking all annoyed and you didn’t want to be the reason for him to suddenly want to leave everyone like how he planned with his brother Merle from the start. You didn’t hear them plan it but from the way they acted towards everyone at the quarry, you had a feeling they would’ve.

“Sorry, I was, uh, debating on wanting to ask you or not to be honest...” You say in a nervous manner. God, the way you were talking was going to further your personality trait of stupidity and all in front of an attractive man at that. Why did you have to be so awkward?

“Ask me what?” Daryl asked as he fidgeted with the wooden arrow that he was carving.

“Uh, well, I know you guys are going on a run tomorrow and since we’ve all settled down here and everything, I was wondering if maybe you can find me a CD player or any kind of music player really...” You said as you looked everywhere else in the room but him. You didn’t want to see the irritation on his face or worse, anger.

Daryl didn’t say anything straight away. He only left your request unanswered which just made you nervous. Once you finally looked at his face, his previous look had not changed from when you entered. Too anxious to actually let him answer, you proceeded to talk.

“Or, just not.” You chuckled nervously. “It’s nothing that I really need. I don’t want anything to happen to you guys over something as dumb as that.” You stepped backwards noticing that he hasn’t changed his posture, the direction his eyes were looking, the arch of his brows, anything. The only thing that changed was him not playing with his arrow anymore. Once you pulled the curtain between you and him, you let out a sigh as you walked back to your cell.

You two didn’t have anything against each other, at least you don’t think on his side of things. He was intimidating and you were a meek person so it was natural that you two haven’t really spent much time together, even if he seemed he was starting to get along with everyone else in the group.

Except for you. Go figure.

But the was the one thing you had in common with him. You were both starting to feel a bond with the group. His false start was because he was stubborn, mean, and preferred to be alone. Yours was because you were quiet, shy, and always thought you would be a burden to them. Especially out there. You can hold your own. You know how to work a gun and you obviously know how to stab and cut things, as knives should do. You just weren’t as “advance” as Rick or Daryl. Honestly, you didn’t give yourself much credit but that’s just the way you are.

Because you doubt yourself so much, it’s the reason why you don’t go on many runs, which is also the reason why you made a fool of yourself in front of Daryl just a second ago.

You laid on your bed as you stared up at the bunk above you. Another restless night for you. You couldn’t sleep, even back then. Back then, it was only because you just couldn’t bring yourself to sleep, especially on time. You would call yourself an insomniac but that’s technically not correct. Nowadays, it’s a mix of that, nightmares, fears, anxiety, so on and so forth. That’s why you made that request to Daryl. Not only were you wanting it to help you sleep but because you haven’t heard a single tune in so long. You love music. You were one of those kinds of people. You also hoped that if you did have some songs to play, you would think that it would help brighten everyone else’s day.

The only kind of music you get was from Beth singing to Judith but most days you were out doing chores when she does that.

The following day seemed to be a successful day. Not only was the run short and sweet but it was filled with prizes. Food, supplies, clothes. A successful day it has been. Even for you.

Once you were done with chores and dinner came and go, you headed back to your cell with something awaiting you on your bed. Once you got a closer look, you had the biggest smile on your face. Maybe Daryl didn’t think you were stupid for asking or maybe he did and just thought that if he did this, you could leave him alone. Either way, you were too happy to care how you look, you just knew you had to thank him for being thoughtful when he went out.

As you stood there in the same position as yesterday night, you fought with yourself again about the same thing but before you could stop overthinking to actually alert and enter his cell, Daryl had beat you to it.

“You can come in...” He said in a somewhat irritated voice. Damn. There goes not looking stupid out the window. You immediately went in as to not keep him waiting.

“Uh, hi, again. Um...” It was like déjà vu, you noticed, as you were tripping over your words and he was seated in the same way on his bed like yesterday. “I just wanted to say thanks...For the CD Player a-and the songs, the CD’s I mean,” You flinched at your stutter hoping that Daryl didn’t notice. You didn’t know why but you were a lot more nervous now than yesterday. It was silent again as this déjà vu continued on and so you tried to take your leave until Daryl actually spoke up.

“I, uh, didn’t know what kind of music ya liked...So I just took all that I could find...” He sounded gentle and nervous as well which only you brought you comfort. “Sorry if it ain’t none ya like...” He looked away from you to his fumbling hands. You just turned and smile at him for his demeanor and thoughtfulness made you happy.

“It doesn’t matter, I mean, what I like. I really appreciate what you got me. Honestly, I’ll listen to whatever at this point...I just needed something to listen to. I’ll learn to love them all.” His bashful blue eyes took a peek at you and nodded to let you know he understood what you meant. You only smiled again and headed out of Daryl’s cell but once you rounded the corner, he called out to you.

You peeked your head to see what Daryl needed. He was sitting upright looking at you with curious eyes that never seemed to stay on you long. “Uh, I picked up a Skid Row CD when I found ‘em...Was wonderin’ if I could give it a listen sometime...” He. Is. Adorable. So timid when he asked, it only made you smile bigger than before and it made you feel less intimidated of him.

“Yeah, of course! Whenever you wanna use it. If you want, we can, you know, relax and listen together if you want.” You shrugged at the suggestion hoping that this could help be more interactive with him. Daryl hesitated for a second before nodding his head in agreement.

From there, you walked out feeling much more satisfied than when you received your special gift at the beginning.

At first, nothing had changed between you and Daryl and he never came by to ask to borrow your CD player and so you thought that whatever it was that happened was a fluke, that he was only trying to be nice and so eventually, you both went back to the way you use to be. Not talking. Were you shocked? Not really. Were you upset? A bit but it’s not something to dwell on. Daryl was usually quiet and so were you so it was obvious that neither of you would do anything about that.

At least that’s what you thought because after about a week or more, Daryl was waiting by your cell with one hand tucked under his arm and the thumb of his other hand in between his teeth. Obviously, he was a bit nervous but you didn’t think much of that, you only thought of what it is that he wanted.

“Hey.” You said from behind which caused Daryl to get startled and whip around to see who was calling him. He was tense and had his hands in his pockets now. “What’s going on?” There was a frown of worried curiosity that covered your face as you felt your heart race and your legs prepare to run in case he was going to tell you that you all needed to leave.

“Uh, nothin’. Was kinda wonderin’ if maybe I’m still able to listen to some music is all.” That took you by surprise. At first you were upset that he didn’t ask earlier in the week, then you scold yourself for expecting him too when he was obviously busy trying to keep everyone alive and then soon enough you forgot that it was something he wanted to do.

“Oh! Yeah, right. Let me just...” Soon you swiped pass him and into your cell, retrieving what he wanted and then met back with him face to face. “Here you go. You said Skid Row, right?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He said as he looked at the stomped-up CD case that was cracked with pieces of the plastic missing. He only took a moment to look at it before he turned around beginning to walk away from you. Oh well. This was the most you two interacted this week than the entire time you knew him. Right when you were about to walk into your cell, you heard him call out to you.

“Hey Y/N.” You came back out to take a curious peek and see him walk back to you. “I was thinkin’... Maybe I can listen to it in your room?” You blinked your eyes in shock of his question. You weren’t actually expecting him to want to do that. He was so closed off and reserved, it was just an actual surprise to you.

It was easy for Daryl to ask as you can plainly see because you can see him shifting his weight from foot to foot and was chewing up his thumb as he looked down at his boots. You snapped yourself out of it and replied instantly. “U-uh, Yeah! Sure, come on in...” You lead him in.

You went to seat yourself on your bed you turned to see how Daryl was clearly feeling out of place as he only stood by the entryway of your cell with very little of an idea as to what to do. “Oh, uh, you can just sit here on my bed if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll just sit here.” He took a seat on the ground with his back against the wall that was across from you. Daryl then placed the CD into the player and put on the earbuds that luckily came with it when he found them. The music blasted into his ears and he realized how long it’s been since he’s listened to anything in a good while. With his eyes shut and his head leaned back against the wall. You had no idea what to do at that point, you felt awkward in your own space and all you did was dart your eyes across the room. Soon enough, they landed on the book that you started reading a little bit ago and went to read instead.

When a good chunk of time had passed, Daryl opened his eyes not realizing that he gave himself a good little nap. When he raised his head, he only seen you looking down at your lap with your head on your hand reading the page that was in between your fingers, readying yourself to turn the page. He sat up and cleared his throat to gain your attention.

Looking up, you see his blue eyes on you with him taking the earbuds off. He wrapped them and stood up, handing them to you. You only looked at him with a questioning look until he explained. “I got watch duty.” You grabbed the set and watched him walk off until he turned around again. “Sorry if this ain’t what you were wantin’.”

“N-no, it’s alright, I mean, I don’t mind this if this what you want to do.” You made sure to let him know. He only nodded and gave his thanks before leaving your cell. He was right, it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to start a conversation with him, befriend him, get to know him and all that other stuff but as you noticed how he fell asleep, you only smiled and read as you were happy that at least he was here spending his company with you and you realized that with the way he is, he was putting in his effort and that it was gonna take awhile for him to really become your friend.

You were just happy that there was someone that you suddenly want to put the effort into talking to in so long.

.~.~.~.~.~.

To your wonderful surprise, it suddenly became routine for Daryl to come by your cell whenever he had some free time to listen to music. It was the same songs over and over again and he didn't mind it all that much.

At first, it was the same way the first meeting had gone, then it became you sitting next to him to read, that soon turned into you sitting next to him reading with one earbud in your ear and the other in his, then it shifted the location to your bed with some words exchanged between the both of you and then finally it became you ditching your book, lying down next to him either in a comfortable silence or with the both of you talking freely like never before.

You were happy because as long as it took, it was worth the wait to finally feel as if you had someone in your corner.

It felt good to be one of the few people who got to see Daryl's soft side. Every time he came by to your cell, he would either give you little trinkets or gifts that he found on his time outside the prison or find you new discs to listen to. What got you the most in awe with him was whenever he did find you new music, he always told you how he hoped you'd like the one he found. Even nicer than that were the times he'd let you know he didn't find anything that you would like. Since he was the one finding all these gifts for you, you figured that he was unintentionally showing you his music taste and most of them were eighties bands which you didn't mind at all.

All though that was all rainbows and butterflies in your book, what made you really go heart eyes for him is how you two became closer physically which is honestly a something you didn't expect from him. It went from shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, a head on his shoulder when you fell for a nap to his head on your lap for the same reason. A hand on top of his without him pulling away to him actually holding yours casually with his fingers pattering away against yours. That was beginning to be your favorite of physical contacts with him. Honestly, you couldn’t believe it was you he was doing this with. But there was a problem with all of this. You were starting to like him a little more than you care to admit and all of these touches were starting some strange circus acts inside your stomach and heart.

What didn’t help was the fact that there had been a couple close calls from time to time to which you were only grateful that they happened. You could imagine the scenarios played out and those were helping you get to sleep along with your music. It was also nice of Daryl not to act weird towards you after them as you thought he might do.

They were moments where everything goes silent after an intimate talk and you find yourselves either looking at your clasped hands or at his lips or, if you were brave enough, his eyes and it always felt like something was about to happen. Obviously, nothing did happen but you couldn’t help but let your imagination go from time to time.

Things changed though. You would say they changed for the better.

It was a small run. Nothing that needed more than two people. As Daryl being Daryl, he always volunteered to go but what was different this time was that he asked you to come along with him. It shocked you honestly as there were far more capable people to go along which you made sure to let Daryl know. You even told him that you may be rusty from not being out there in a good while to which he replied that you going out there now would grease you up.

So, you agreed. How could you say no to that man?

It was a small run to a house that Rick saw on the way back. That was it. You expected the worst because that’s how you survive. Expect the worse and you can anticipate and plan your time out in the walker's territory. It was still a shock to see that walker in the bedroom to which you easily killed. You've seen them every day clearing them away from the fences but there wasn't a fence between you and this walker in front of you. It was still a shock to feel a walker grab onto you after killing the one you found before it. It never gets easier when you feel their weight on top of you with their teeth chopping the air. The feeling of fear surging through you with your mind going blank of any thoughts except kill. It was still a shock to feel it immediately go limp right on top of you as you felt it’s head thump right on the crook of your neck with its blood oozing out slowly down to the back of your neck to your collarbone and it was still a shock to know that you made it out of there alive.

To add on to the list of things that shocked you was the immediate attention Daryl gave you right after, with him on his knees in front of you and his hands on your cheeks as he looked into your eyes telling you that you were okay. You then noticed his eyes scanning all over your body asking if you were okay for sure and if you were bit. Once his eyes landed on the small puddle of blood on your neck, he panicked only for you to hold your hands against his and assure him it was the walkers. It shocked you how tight he hugged you after you said that. How he couldn't let go with his hand on the back of your head pulling as close as humanly possible. The feeling of arms wrapped around you as you didn't know what to do with yourself except lightly hold on to him. Before you could hug yourself harder against him, he lets go saying how it was time for them pack up and leave before sunset began.

The drive home was quiet as the tension of the close call from earlier occupied both of your minds. As soon as Daryl noticed how even more quiet you were with him, he placed his hand on top of yours, you instinctively clasped onto his hand with your fingers intertwined. You kept looking out the window as Daryl kept glancing at you in fear that maybe you'd disappear if he didn't check on you.

Once Daryl pulled in to the prison and helped with getting the small number of items inside, he came back out to find you sitting on the hood of the car looking up at the moon and stars. Glenn asked if there was something wrong to which Daryl only told him to give you and himself a minute alone.

You noticed him get inside the car and start it back up, the way it rumbled underneath you startled you. As he made his way to take a seat next to you, you only raised an eyebrow until you heard some soft music playing behind you. You just looked straight ahead in order for you to get lost in thought once again.

"You doin' alright?" He finally asked.

"Yeah...Just thinking, really..."

"About?" He fiddled with his thumbs in between his fingers.

"Obviously of what just happened but...also other stuff in general."

"Like what?" You only shrugged at his question, not really knowing yourself. "'s alright. You don't gotta talk about it." He shrugged as well looking down at his beat-up dirty boots.

"No, it's nothing like that. When I figure it out, I'll tell you. Honestly, at this point, there isn't anything that's a secret anymore between you and me." You wanted to make sure he knew that you weren't trying to push him away or keep things from him. You two have come too far to suddenly shut down.

"That right?" He looked back up at you. His eyes looked like they were glistening under the pale moonlight. It was honestly mesmerizing and if you could, you would stare at them for hours waiting to see what your future would be like if you did, as if they were a crystal ball. But you didn't as you looked down to now be the one to reach out and hold his hand.

"Yeah. As hard as it is to believe, I... I trust you. Wholly and completely." You then laid your head on his shoulder with your eyes feeling heavy as the events of the day finally weighed down on you.

"Me too. I know I haven't told anyone everythin' 'bout me but I know that when I do, it's gonna be you I tell." With your head rising back up, your eyes immediately went to Daryl's and his were on yours as he wanted to make sure you saw how serious he was being. You just smiled as you leaned in for a quick kiss on his cheek. Never have you felt this deeply for another person and never have you felt that someone else would care for you this much in your lifetime.

He didn't look away. He didn't try to go ahead and bite his thumb like he usually does when he's nervous. The only thing he did was continue to look at you and you suddenly felt as if you done something wrong. Never had you two done anything like that before and there must be a reason for it if he's reacting this way. But like every time you start to overthink, Daryl begins to act out his actions before you could pull away and do so yourself.

His finger and thumb found themselves holding your cheek pulling to him but not roughly enough to where you could really feel him pinch your cheeks. It was in that moment that you didn't want to be anywhere else but here as he kissed you deeply, his lips moving to give you such innocent pleasure that you longed for. All of the emotion that he had in him from before and the ones from earlier on were put into that kiss. The longing, the patience, the worry, the relief, all of it he made sure you felt as he kept on kissing you in a way you didn't think a first kiss with Daryl would go. You imagined it to be soft, slow and in place but right now it was a bit rough in the sense that if he went in soft, he wouldn't be able to evoke all that he was feeling. It was at a faster pace but not much where it felt he was ready to take you right there and then (although you wouldn't have mind that). He wasn't giving you quick or long pecks, his lips moved as if he were soothing them from an ache. Either your bottom or top lip was always in between his and never had you felt this good.

Once he pulled away, you were both out of breath. It was unbelievable. One day you thought he didn't like you at all, the next, it was if he never wanted you to leave his side again. "Wow..." You blinked the sudden daze away.

"Sorry..." He pulled away quick as he looked down in a shy manner. Never had you looked at someone with pure adortion. Your hands went to take his cheeks as to pull his eyes to look at you.

"Hey, it's alright..." He only peeked at you, frightened of your reaction. You lifted his head up to look at him with a smile on his face. You gave him a peck on his lips to assure him you were fine with what he did and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He reciprocated the hug, burying his head into your shoulder.

.~.~.~.~.~.

From there you two were now an item. Being that the both of you were shy in nature, you didn't show signs that you were together but you did spend more time with each other than before. No one really noticed at first but they soon caught on and understood.

The both of you spent a lot of time being affectionate with one another in the privacy of your cell. Like before, you two would listen to music together but it felt as if you were teenagers staring at the ceiling and talking throughout the night. Daryl would always bring you back more music to listen to it and it seemed to become the norm.

There was routine, there was a life and then the prison had fallen.

From there, it felt as if all was lost but you were with Daryl and things didn't seem all that bad. You both lost all of what you gained and Daryl felt awful about it. Your lives were set there and it was all gone. All that you built. He was even starting to think of a future with you in that romantical sense.

Soon enough Alexandria was found and although everyone was on edge from what happened previous, things began to settle down. Everyone began to feel at ease here including yourself.

But not Daryl.

Daryl still felt distrustful. He still felt scared. He still felt as if all wasn't well and he didn't like the fact that everyone felt the opposite, especially you.

Today was one of those days that he felt those emotions come on strong. Daryl headed out on a run to let some steam out and to not feel so claustrophobic in those walls. You stayed behind this time to take on the job of babysitting duty while Rick and Michonne went out on patrol.

The run was a simple in and out to the nearest town. Luckily, there weren't too many walkers roaming around as they took to the nearest forests and roads. Supplies were gathered and everyone was packing up to head back to Alexandria. Daryl wasn't all too ready to head back. He still felt nervous going back to that place so when he was heading back to get on his bike, he took sight of a small electronics shop to which he could only nod his head and give a smirk. Should he? To hell with it, he already made up his mind. If anything, it would be like old times, that and he needed something to feel like home, to feel like something was normal, or as normal as he wanted it to be. Before he headed in, he made sure to tell Tara that he'll be behind them, all he needed was to grab one thing. Tara could only smile as she knew that whatever it was, it had to be for you.

.~.~.~.~.

When the gates open, you headed out to the front porch and peek at who was there. To your relief it was the gang that went out on a run earlier in the day. With Judith at your hip, you headed out to the front of the gates, ready to give Daryl a small hug to reassure yourself that he was there but once you did, you didn’t catch sight of his bike or him himself. You were ready to panic. What happened? Once you saw everyone else, you noticed that they didn’t have a solemn look, if anything, they were normal and relaxed.

“Hey, Glenn...” Turning around to your voice, Glenn just gave you a smile. “Where’s-”

“Oh! Daryl! Right, he just needed to pick up something back at our run. Said he’d be behind us.” You nodded at his response, not really feeling at ease about that. It worried you that he was out there on his own but you knew that he can take care of himself, he’s been out on his own plenty of times. “To be honest with you, I don’t think he’s warming up to the place as much as us.”

“Yeah, I’ve been noticing that too but he doesn’t want to talk about it.” You looked down as you felt a bit sad about the situation. You knew Daryl wasn’t feeling all that great and you also knew not to push him into talking about it, knowing that when he’s ready, he will. That was always how it worked with the both of you and it always seemed to work. You were worried that this time wouldn’t be the case, especially since he’s out there on his own when he had a group with him earlier.

You went back to the shared house where Carl is ready to take Judith in his hands. It was a good opportunity for you to sit and worry in the room that was given to you. You were scared. No matter how many times you tell yourself that Daryl would be fine, that this would be a walk in the park for him, it never made the sickening feeling in your stomach lessen.

Your heart went into a complete rush when you heard a knock on the door and you were afraid to hear some news that would send you into absolute breakdown. You only reached out to wrap your arms around Daryl’s neck holding him tight. “Jesus, thank god...” Daryl only wrapped his full hands on your hips a bit confused at your reaction.

“You alright? Somethin’ happen?” Now it was his turn to worry. He knew this place was too good to be true.

“No, no. I was just scared when I didn’t see you back with the others.” You pulled away from him. “What’s that?” You asked as you finally took noticed of the bag in his hands.

Daryl only shrugged and shyly handed you the bag. “Saw this store right before we left. Thought I check it out.” You opened it up, taking the items out and laying them on your bed. You could only smile at his gifts for you.

“Daryl, you didn’t have to...” A shrug was all you got. You took notice of one of the CD’s that were in the pile. One from Kansas. “I think we have this one downstairs...” You kept looking through all of them until you see Daryl grab the bag and stuff all of the CD’s in them. “Daryl, what are you...”

“Seem like you got what you need downstairs, huh? I don’t know why you gotta keep these then.”

“Daryl, No.” You reach out to grab his arm only for him to pull away.

“Nah, I get it. You don’t need shit from me. You got everything you want here so I don’t see what’s the point of me bein’ here!” He was about to walk out the door, turning the knob until you slammed your hand against the door.

“Daryl! Stop!” He did as you demanded not fighting against you. “Look at me please...” Taking a peek through his hair, scared of your reaction now that he was able think some things through. “YOu have to tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want you suddenly going off on your own angry and then have something happen to you. I can’t have you be out there when you could be here with me talking about whatever’s bothering you. I don’t want you feeling alone and angry.”

He only stood there quiet looking down at his boots like a child in trouble. “I know. You don’t like talking about your feelings but you somehow always do with me and I’m scared maybe you’re feeling a lot worse than any other time or maybe that you can’t talk to me about these kinds of things anymore. That maybe I’m not the go-to for you anymore.”

Instantly Daryl nodded his no being vocal about it as well. His thumb was up to his teeth as he couldn’t help chew on it. “Nah, that ain’t it. That’ll never be it.” You could only look at him and him at you. “Don’t ever think like that. It’s just... I don’t know. This place, Terminus, I just...” His head went back to the direction of the ground. All you did was wrap your arms around him knowing how hard it is for him to express what he wanted to say.

You spared him from pushing himself too hard as you told him you understood what he meant, what he was feeling, how you felt the same and how it was ok for him to feel this way, “I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. This place seems too good and either they’ll turn on us or those walkers get in, I don’t know but we’re all still together...” He only buried his head into your neck as he held onto your waist tighter.

“I get that you think we’re thinking nothing of it, that we’re pretending everything’s normal and wonderful here but we’re only trying to make the best of what we have right now.” You stroked his hair to sooth him. “If this place is as great as we want to believe, then I want it to be better with you here. You wIth me.” Daryl pulls his head back to look at you. “You know I care about you right?” He nods his head, making him look far much smaller compared to your first impression of him. held onto his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. You hate seeing him like this but it also made you feel special that it was only you that he showed this side to. That he still had trust in you. “Then you know how much I hate seeing you like this?” He nods again slowly.

“I just can’t. This place, it don’t feel like home, it don’t feel like they need me. I belong out there, where I know better, not some place where they throw parties whenever and pretend like we can share cookin’ recipes and shit. That ain’’t me...”

“It’s not me, either. We’ve been through too much to pretend but know that we’re not.” You grab onto his hands, slipping the bag into yours and placing a hand on his shoulder, leading him to the bed. “Lay down.” Daryl did as he was told without complaint and stared up to the ceiling. The corner of his eyes had tears to which you wiped them away and kissed his forehead. From there, you laid next to him. He didn’t notice you were doing much until you tapped his shoulder to offer him an earbud. Head on his shoulder with his on top of yours, you both laid there holding hands. This was what Daryl wanted, to feel as if things hadn’t changed. They never did. All that did change was where they were and the new people they’ve encountered with new experiences to add to their list. Things haven’t changed, not when he was laying beside you doing your favorite pass time together. Right now, he didn’t feel angry, anxious, worried or scared. He felt as if he is at home and maybe that future that he was thinking up before can be a reality.

119 notes · View notes

h-o-l-l-i · 5 years

Text

Tough Cookie

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1,055

Author’s Note: Requests are open. Let me know if you want to be added to any tag lists!

Catch up here! Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

PART 4

Tough Cookie tags: @nicki082489 // @jodiereedus22 // @coffee-obsessed-writer // @sourwolf-sterek32 // @mtngirlforever // @hyphymanatee // @momc95

Daryl Dixon tags: @jodiereedus22 // @coffee-obsessed-writer // @sourwolf-sterek32 // @mtngirlforever // @hyphymanatee // @momc95

The world froze in place, your hand absentmindedly cradled your belly, the sound of your blood pulsating through your veins filled your ears, dulling out the ambient noise of the survivors dwelling within the walls of Alexandria.

His eyes stared back blankly to you, your heart sank into your stomach that stood as a home to your unborn child.

Say something, don’t just leave her hanging Daryl! His mind raced sending endless nerve impulses to open his mouth to speak to you; although, his mouth had momentarily disconnected from his brain.

It was only seconds of silence but it felt like an eternity. You swallowed hard, took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You uncrossed your legs to get up and leave; it was enough for him to break his silence.

“Wait.” He grabbed your hand, his skin was more calloused than you remembered. “How far are ya?” His eyes finally raised to meet yours again.

You sat back down into the old wooden chair, “Not that far along. I’ve been seeing the doctor at the sanctuary, Negan doesn’t know…” his body stiffened up at your words. “The doctor said I’m about three months.” Your eyes welled.

His brow furrowed, his eyes searched yours, “It’s—” his voice cracked in his throat, his eyes tearing up with the swell of happiness in his heart. “I’m going to be father?” His lip trembled. You nodded gently, tears falling on down onto your cheeks. His rough hand came up to caress your slightly swollen belly tenderly. “Oh my God, Y/N! I’m going to be a dad!” He shouted, laughing, tears freely trailing down his smiling cheeks.

He knelt down on the wooden floor, his hand never leaving your stomach, he began talking to his unborn baby, “Hey, lil’ guy. I’m—I’m your daddy! I can’t wait to meet you. You better kick the shit out of your momma here to let her know you’re alrigh’” he smiled and wiped his eyes dry.

You laughed and shook your head, “You’re daddy’s something else, isn’t he?” You said rubbing your belly.

“Y/N.” Rick cleared his throat, “He’s here.” His jaw shifted, the tension tightening.

You stood sharply from your chair, wiped your tears, held Daryl’s hand; kissed him and broke words, “I don’t know why he’s here.” You walked towards the door. Daryl followed you.

“Y/N.”

“You need to hide, I got this.” You said fidgeting with your loose shirt that comfortably hid your growing stomach. He knew that if Negan saw him that all hell would break loose and it would lead to bloodshed. He squeezed your hand in his, pulled your body into his, gently hugging you; his hand resting on your stomach.

He kissed your forehead, “I love you.”

***

“What do you want.” You blinked your eyes in frustration, crossing your arms.

“When were you going to tell me?” His nostrils flared. You furrowed your eyebrows, he lowered his head, looking deep into your eyes, stepping close to you and gently placed his gloved hand over your stomach, “The baby, doll.” He paused, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You uncrossed your arms and flung his hand from your body and took a step back.He raised his eyebrows and put his hand inside of his leather jacket pocket, “I mean; it does explain the mood swings that you’ve been having. Like that little attitude; ‘cause by kid is in there!” He smiled, pointing to you.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and tell him the truth, but you knew that if you did, he would lose his shit.

“You need to leave.” You replied firmly, “Now.”

He backed up a half a step with his hands raised, “Okay, give mama some space. Lots of scientific shit happening inside that gorgeous body of yours. I just came to make sure you’re safe.”

“Now you make sure Alexandria is safe?!” You scoffed, “Kind of sudden, don’t you think. Convenient…just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that you need to breath down my neck, and ‘make sure I’m safe’” you said sarcastically, using finger air quotes. “If you can’t keep your promise to keep them safe, how can you keep me—us, safe.” Your words hit him hard.

“Doll.” His tone was low and painful, you were his weak spot, more so now that he thought it was his child inside your womb. “Y/N, come home.” His voice sounded the weakest that even you have heard it.

You chest heaved deep breaths, your nostrils flared with aggravation, “I’ll be home by tonight, but you need to leave now.” He opened his mouth but in his own words, ‘shut that shit down’, “Goodbye.” You said, turning and walked away swiftly, holding your left hand over your stomach.

He stood there in the middle of the road of Alexandria, his head hung, you closed the door to your real home. The moment the door latched shut, you broke down, your body slid down the door, your bottom nearly crashing onto the floor, you held your hand tightly to your mouth in attempt to stifle your cry.

Michonne was the first to come into the hallway once you didn’t enter the room as they anticipated. She rushed to your side, “Rick! Daryl!” She looked you over, “What happened?”

The two men stormed into the hallway and quickly came to you, “I’m fine, he didn’t hurt me. He’s gone for now.” You sniffled, Daryl helped you get off of the ground, his hand snaked around your waist, holding you tightly to his strong body. “I uh—I have to go back tonight though. Keep the peace.” You faked a smile, and dried your eyes though they painfully expressed the emotions you tried to push deep down and not feel.

Your father didn’t say anything, he just pulled your into him, he gently placed his chin on the top of your head, you shuttered beneath him, “What the hell did I do, Dad? What am I going to do?”

He remained strong, like he always was for you, “We’ll figure it out; together.” He brushed your hair behind your ears. “Spend some time together before you have to go, don’t worry about anything, just…” he paused, looking down to your stomach; smiling, “Keep that little one safe.”

Requests are open! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!

thank you all so much for your support; it means the world!

37 notes · View notes

sirensvcubus · 10 months

Text

Season 5 Daryl

-Last Time

: Y/Ns been in the group since the very beginning, with everyone. She and Daryl bonded looking for Sophia and became close friends but nothing more until one night after a game made up by the group.

Daryl x Y/N

Season 5/ Alexandria

____________________________________

After a long day on the road hunting and scavenging with our small group, (Rick,Glen, Maggie, Michonne, Carol, and Daryl) sit and male a fire before going back to Alexandria.

“Not much but it’ll do.” Rick said putting another log on.

“Im glad we all got to go out together, Im still not so sure I trust these people in Alexandria.” Carol said.

“Seem pretty docile to me,” Maggie said.

“They haven’t been out there, seen the things we have, who knows how long it will last,” Rick said sitting down on a log beside Carol.

“What should we do until these squirrels cook up.” Daryl said.

“I thought of a game.” Y/N said with a small smile, “Called last time.”

“Your just a beacon of hope aint you” Daryl said chuckling.

“Sounds pretty fitting for the situation, good apocalypse game.”

“Last time and then you say something you haven’t done in a while, like last time I had Pizza… I don’t know something stupid like that.” You said.

“Carl had some with the other kids the other day.” Rick said.

“Anyone else get in on that action.” Michonne said smiling. Nobody replied.

“We got scammed.” Maggie said laughing.

“Last time I had whiskey.” Rick said

“Ew” you replied, “once on my 21 birthday, wasn’t good” Everyone laughed,

“More refined taste I guess.” Rick said smiling.

“Me and Glenn got some on a run, bottle didn’t last long.” We chuckled

“Last time we had sex.” Michonne said.

“Oooh good one,” Carol said.

“Long time ago” Carol smiled.

“About a year ago” Michonne said.

“A few months” Rick added.

“A long long time ago, about three years, how far are we into this damn apocalypse anyway.”

“Almost three years, feels like more time has past.” You said.

“Three years for me too, god I miss it.” You said chuckling.

“Last week” Glen said smirking.

Maggie added “ a few days ago…hahahha got you,” she said looking at Glen “same for me about a week” She continued.

We continued on until the squirrels were done roasting, and made are way back to Alexandria chewing them of sticks causing a few weird glances.

Everyone had dispersed from the one house they slept in the first few nights there, but still some lingered there not completely feeling safe just yet. Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Daryl, Sasha, Carol, and Tara still all slept in the biggest house. Some having there own rooms like Y/N, Daryl, Rick, and Michonne, some sharing, like Sash and Carol, and Judith and Carl. Tara sprawled out on the couch. We all stayed up talking but eventually went to our corners of the house.

You went into your room feeling happy and safe because the comfy bed waiting for you and the fun night you had with the group. But still something felt..incomplete. You were lonely surrounded by people. Thinking back to the game you knew why. It had been three years you missed being touched, and just loved.

You had always had feelings for Daryl, I mean look at his arms, you yearned for him, but out on the road it wasn’t a time to start a confusing relationship; Maybe now is you thought…no no I should just go to bed. You plopped down on the bed tossing and turning unable to sleep.

You hesitantly got up and thought a minute before walking to the door. As you opened it Daryl was right outside. You took a breath and looked at eachother for a minute. Before you knew he lunged at you holding your head into his. You vicously made out and he slammed you against the wall as you kicked the door shut.

#smut #fanfic #daryl / reader #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon fluff #dary dixon #Daryl Dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixion x reader #daryl x female reader

132 notes · View notes

teamcarylmundial-blog · 7 years

Photo

- GRAN CONCURSO GRAN-

¡Carylers! Para ayudarnos a sobrevivir este último mes que nos queda antes de la segunda mitad haremos un concurso de FANFICS. El único requisito es que sea CARYL (nada de otras parejas raras que han surgido últimamente). ¿Quieres escribir algo dulce e inocente? ¡Hazlo! ¿Prefieres algo mas subido de tono? ¡Hazlo también! ¿Quieres escribir sexo salvaje contra un árbol o cualquier superficie? ¡Mandenselo a las admin por privado! Okno, pero la idea es esa... NO HAY CENSURA SIEMPRE Y CUANDO SEA CARYL. El plazo para participar es hasta el 28 de enero, luego de eso publicaremos los fics y todos los miembros del grupo podrán votar para que conozcamos al fic ganador el 30 de enero. ¡Participa! Y si no estás seguro o quisieras algunos tips, acá te dejamos un link http://es.wikihow.com/escribir-fanfiction

Cuando tengas listo tu fanfic envíanos tu creación mediante mensajería del fanpage. (link), a las admins del grupo de fb o a través de un submit en tumblr!

¡Te esperamos!

@herestonevergrowingupal @daniilux @deborapeki @silamon @sofuckingfaraway @danycaryl @mimareche @belu-te @lujanette @kenthdra @anabelez @veronikalovesthis @valeconlapices @edithmcbride-lovingmisswatson @lifeinpurplestars

#caryl #carol peletier #dary dixon #carol y daryl #twd caryl #caryl fanfic #teamcarylmundial

19 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 3 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love Story)

Summery: After losing her brother and his wife, one young woman is left on her own, caring for a new born and trying to survive. After being taken in to a community after years of mistrust, how will she adapt, and what effect will a certain archer have on her. Starts the last episode of season 5

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

(Incomplete)

Chapter 14

My foot had barley touched the stair when Daryls voice halted my movements “What do you want from me?” He nearly growled. I turned slowly. What did he mean what did I want from him. If I were smarter I’d be scared. I somehow just pissed of a very large man, who could kill far too easily, but instead it further fuiled my frustration.

“What the hell do you mean?” I nearly spat. It’s one thing to reject me, another to ma, nut to make me feel like an idiot is something else entirely. I could feel the anger swell in my chest and burn up to my head, clouding my previously melancholy emotions. Daryl didn’t stand down, his normally grim ‘I’m too badass to be alive’ Demeanor had shifted to something more stable, something more pissed off. He took a breath “I don’t know what to do” for the thousand time this week he took his eyes off me, and glued them to the floor. I have never been one to be able to hold in frustration long, really this week has been the longest I’ve ever composed myself. “It was all fine and then all of a sudden we were kissing and it just wouldn’t have ended well” He looked at me again “So I didn’t know what to do”

My chest was huffing “About what hm? You seen pretty content wit- “ Daryl jumped up and turned to the door, I fainted heard a mumble about “a mistake” and composure went out the window. “What was a mistake was kissin’ your sorry ass” I was shouting now, and I couldn’t unclench my jaw even if I tried. “I’m sorry if I over stepped because I thought for some stupid stupid reason you liked me” pausing for a second to catch my breath and to see if he had anything to say. He didn’t. “You Ass” I exclaimed, throwing a cushion at him, that he caught. Stupid fuck. I knew I was irritating him, and I didn’t care. In that moment I wanted him to be just as pissed off and hurt as me.

“Nina, would you just shut up and listen? ” He put his hands up to try and calm me. “No!” I know I shrieked it because my throat stung right after. “I ain’t listening to shit you gotta say” Daryl began walking towards me and I backed away, trying to put as much space between us as possible. “You don’t get to treat me like crap, you don’t get to run away and ignore me because I fucked up” my voice cracked and he froze.

I turned my back to him for a second, trying to wipe the tears away fast enough for him not to see, but once that dam had broken I couldn’t stop it. My chest was heaving uncontrollably, from the crying or the anger I wasn’t sure. I felt him put a warm hand on my shoulder “You didn’t fuck up”

I turned to look at him, still trying to wipe away the endless stream of tears. He looked like he was desperately trying to spit something out “I fucked up, what I did wasn’t right” this horrible pause came over us, and it sucked the air right out of the room.

Daryl looked at me like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking, all I could do was look at him in disbelief. What could he have done that was so wrong? Me looking at him must have spooked him because he started trying to explain what he meant like he was chewing bad tobacco, like what he was saying made his mouth feel dirty “I took advantage of you, I should be here to help you and instead look what I did” He began pacing the room. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t say anything. What the hell was this man on about ?

He looked at me with sad eyes “I’m too old for you Nina” I think I was in shock because the next thing I knew I was laughing.

Well not laughing, they noise you make when you’re so in shock that it’s the only breathless noise that will come out. I covered my eyes in disbelief before sitting down. When I glimpsed back up at him he looked mortified, like I just punched him in the gut, this only made me laugh harder. “Are you dumb Daryl Dixon?” I asked catching my breath. I just can’t believe him, I know he’s shy but this is just ridiculous. The human race is being eaten alive by the undead and he’s gotten all in a fluster because of a few years. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” Daryl looked past me, trying to avoid eye contact

“We are in arma-fucking-geddon and you’re worried that I’m a few years younger than you?” I stood and strode towards him until we were nose to nose.

I should have thought it threw because suddenly being so close to him make me want to kiss him again, to feel that sort of fire and passion surround me. I opened my mouth to speak but Daryl cut me off by chuckling

“Arma-fucking-geddon” before engulfing me in a kiss.

masterlist

15 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 4 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love Story)

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language, implied ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

(Incomplete)

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten Part eleven Part twelve Part thirteen Part fourteen Part fifteen

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon fanfic #Dary Dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fic #daryl dixon twd #daryl wtd #twd fic #twd #twd fanic

35 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 4 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gape

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

AU: Sorry for the delay, currently looking for an apartment

Chapter 12

Oh god.

The moment our lips met sparks shot down my spine, brining Goosebumps up on my arms.

Oh God I’m kissing Daryl

It was soft at first. A little awkward in the usual Dixon fashion, like he didn’t know where to put his hands. But the second I moved my hand to cup his face it was like a switch had flipped inside of him. His unsure, sweet movements changed into something rough, and animalistic … and I fucking loved it.

He gripped my waist and dragged me onto his lap so I was straddling him, and my arms instinctually wrapped around his neck, pulling the kiss in closer. I felt his hand travel up under my shirt and sliding his hand along my back, while his other hand gripped my hip, pushing my down further into him.

God this is making me feeling something different. Normally when I would get with a boy it was fine, it was nice, it … it did the job.

But this

This was different.

I felt like there was a balloon blowing in my chest, and any second now it was gonna pop, just in a good way. It made me want to jump off of him and run around dancing and at the same time grab Daryl and never let go. I get what the mean now when people say “it just felt right”.

Not to mention, the way he’s kissing down my neck right now it making me a lot wetter than it should, and making me gasp a lot louder then I should.

I balled my hands full of his hair, rocking my hips agents his. Both our movements continued at an animalistic pace until I pulled my shirt over my head, leaving me bare bested. Daryl gave me what I can only assume was a cheeky look for the Dixons before venturing down between my breasts. Once reach a sensitive spot in between my tits a moan- well more of a soft whimper- was pulled from my throat, and suddenly Daryl froze.

I looked down confused, his eyes were wide, and staring through my chest and his breaths were heavy and deep. Oh no. “Daryl?”

Daryl ignored me. He sat back, I tried to pull him up for another kiss, maybe this was just nerves. The breath was knocked out of me once he pushed me away onto my back, and him darting up walking away from me. I stared in shock. What the. Actual. Fuck?

He stood pinching his brow with his forefinger and thumb with his back to me. Holy shit what did I do? I tried calling him again to no avail. It felt like a rock was dropped in the pit of my stomach. I stood and tried to reach out and put a hand on my shoulder but he flinched back

“We shouldn’t have done that”

He still wouldn’t look at me. Dread shrunk my shoulders, selfish as it may be I just didn’t want that to end, I had kinda always hopped it would have eventually led to there, and now that I know it’s over is just

“What do you mean?” I tried to distract myself to the sickening feeling of rejection that was beginning to sink in. I grabbed my shirt from the corner on the room to try and cover myself, and when I turned to wait for his answer, he was gone.

What. The. Fuck

I didn’t sleep well that night, Cain’s feeding schedule was well into a full night of sleep, but every time I closed my eyes I could feel his arm on my back, pulling me closer. Oh God I’m so stupid.

He probably thought of me as some kind of segregate daughter or sister and I had been secretly (even to myself it seems) perving on him. I think I may have just ruined our relationship, or even a chance at a romantic one. Sweet Jesus I’m asking for a little guidance here, this is just too embarrassing to talk to Maggie or Denise about. Denise would go mental and I’ve a snaking suspicion that Maggie would be extremely grossed out and never look at me the same.

Of course which I don’t blame her for, I did make out with a guy like more than twice my age. I just thought that maybe age didn’t really matter because, oh I dunno, It’s the end of the fucking world.

At that thought tossed around in the bed sheets in a huff. Suddenly I felt angry, what the fuck is wrong with him? Not to sound extremely up my own ass but I know I’m attractive, my identical fucking twin was Miss West-Virgina for fucks sake that must mean I’ve something going for me?! Even not I’ve a big rack (though during this day and age it isn’t exactly a blessing)

The sound of two pairs of heavy booths woke me from my (slightly woe filled and agitated) slumber. Thankfully I would have the house to myself for the day to ignore a certain person.

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten Part eleven

42 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 4 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gape

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 13

Luckily both Daryl and Carol were gone for a few days, and when they were back they were calling to Rick’s house for some “important discussions” about a new group they had found, so I had a few days for all the emotions to calm down in the old noggin.

I had decided to be mature, and to just to pretend that it never happened. It seemed like a pretty reasonable thing to do to me. Daryl, unfortunately, couldn’t seem to hack it. Normally we would have a game of cards at night, see each other just as dawn was rising, and joke around during the day. But this all had to change, because someone had to be a big baby and not ignore their emotions.

Whenever he saw me he would tense up, tighten his jaw, awkwardly cough, and nearly fall over his own feet trying to get out of the room. It was awful, I felt like he hated me.

Stupid Motherfucker.

If he was gonna kiss me he could at least look at me in the eye the next day. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but then again, normally I would be the one ignoring the other person. And let me tell you I am not a fan of my own medicine.

Listen, I wasn’t a slut per-say, bit I was well experience (this is a fancy way of saying I was a massive slut before all the boys I knew started coming back as the undead)

So, I spent my days, ignoring the fact I was being ignored, and then ignoring the fact that Carol knew I was ignoring the fact that I was being ignored. But thank God she hadn’t said anything because honestly I think I would drop dead of embarrassment if I ever heard about it again.

It hurt though, and not wanting to advertise my embarrassment I didn’t tell anyone. And Maggie and Glenn were with the delegated important people committee so I couldn’t talk to them. I think Carl is getting suspicious though, he came over for advice about Enid and kept pushing to know why I was in a stinker of a mood.

It all kinda blew up after a meeting in the church about the new group. It had been two days and I was getting a bit fed up with the awkward glances and shuffling feet.

I wanted the house to feel normal again, I wanted us to be normal again.

I was sitting near the back trying to keep Cain quiet while chatting to a few people waiting for Rick to start the meeting. And Daryl comes waltzing in dressed like a red necked God. His eyes met mine for just a spit second before looking away, but long enough to stop my heart and to knock the wind out of me. I know it was only a look, but it felt like it burnt right through my skin, into my soul, leaving a burned black mark. It made me feel dirty.

I didn’t see Daryl for the rest of the day

Carol came in first, I was making a stew to feed all of us, and hopefully the soft veg would be a good way to introduce softer foods to Cain. She was covered in blood, and it barley took me a second to realize just how shaken she was. At first she ignored me calling her, until Cain have a small whine, and her head snapped in our direction. Her eyes gave her away, she was staring at Cain with such intensity I thought he was going to burst into flames. There was only one word for it

Terror.

And my face probably reflected the same. I grabbed some water and held it out to her “What happe-“I could barely finish before the woman let out a strangled sob. I nearly threw the glass on the table to catch her after her knees gave out. I didn’t even know how to react. Carol who was always so strong had finally snapped. Something bad must have happened. So I sat there, cradling Carol for god knows how long while she screamed.

I put Carol to bed, and fixed her some food. She asked if I would leave the baby with her, which I was a tad hesitant about but figured she could use something to focus on. When I came down I saw the man himself. Also in blood and grime. I was never the maternal type, ever. I was always the one looked after, but it seems the past few weeks all I’ve been doing is comforting people.

Daryl stood awkwardly, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t quit find the words “Any cuts need stiching ?” I asked, leaving agents the counter. He mumbled something under his breath but put his bow down.

He mumbled, but it was a start.

I bit my cheek as he shook his vest off and lifted his shirt to reveal a sharp gash on his side. Probably needed one stich, if even. Before I knew it Nurse Nina had taken over, and it was sanitised and wrapped before you could say “Awkward encounter trying to figure out what happened the other night”

I could feel Daryl staring at me, and worse I could feel myself allowing my fingers to linger on his side. Daryl cleared his throat “The other night” He huffed out. “It was a mistake”. I closed my eyes. It felt like a stone had dropped in my stomach, and I suddenly felt cold.

He didn’t want me to kiss him. God I feel like such an idiot. Of course he didn’t want me to kiss him, he probably saw me like a niece, shit maybe even a daughter. And now I’ve lost my only close friend. I had Maggie and Glenn, sometimes Carl for sure, but they weren’t Daryl. Now Daryl was gone.

“Don’t worry, you made that clear” I said, stepping as far away from him as I could. I turned, trying to hide the tears that welled up in my eyes. “Just change the bandage yourself after your shower”

And I walked upstairs, ready to let all the dread and regret and dumbass shit sink in.

Daryl Dixon you ass.

#The Walking Dead #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fic #Dixon Brothers #daryl dixon #Dary Dixon #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dicon #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #Daryl #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fic #twd #twd fanfiction #twd fanfic

13 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 4 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 11

I wake again with the usual start, but this time immediately regretting sitting up straight, the banging in my head making my lie back down. The second thing I felt was my foul dryness in my mouth, then I heard a soft whimper of the baby. I reached an arm out to rub his stomach, feeling it fall down, I peeped an eye open to see I was on the couch not my bed. Hhm, odd.

I slowly sat up, wondering where Cain was and seeing a light on in the kitchen I crept over trying to keep my feet soft so I wouldn’t make any noise.

Still slightly hungover I squinted at the light, and saw a peculiar sight, a sweet sight really. Daryl was rocking my nephew, feeding him a bottle. He looked comfortable holding a baby.

I leaned agents the archway, feeling something bubble in my chest. “What are you doing with my baby Dixon?” I asked, rubbing one eye that still refused to let go of sleep my body so rudely awaken me from. I smiled lazily looking at Daryl shushing Cain to be quiet. He looked up, still looking a bit tipsy with rosy cheeks and a half smile. We kept drinking long after we strolled back.

People had brought over small gifts, some pickled food, and some small jars of wine which were now empty. I was shocked to see people be exited for a baptism, I knew I small talked with most people. I had helped stich up a few people and momentarily watched a few kids here and there but I didn’t think people even knew I was here.

Daryl’s lips curled into a crooked smile “Ahh, Natasha” He wrinkled his nose, slurring the last syllable of my name. I barley grumbled a ‘Piss off’ before grabbing a glass and gulping down three of water. The water felt sweep and stopped my tongue sticking to my pallet. I filled it again and held it up for Daryl, which made up do an awkward ‘swap you a baby for a glass of water’ dance.

I bounced Cain, wanting him to keep the heavy sleepiness so he could pass out soon enough, pretending not to watch him drinking down the water. Obviously he noticed and smiling he asked “What?” I smiled back “You got a bit of ugly on your face” Daryl raised an eyebrow before walking past me towards the couch. I followed.

I watched as he took a seat, stretching out his arms over the top of the sofa. I sat next to him, being careful to not wake Cain “I have a question” He announced, like he was proud of himself. “If you’re real names Natasha, why did you say your name was Nina?” He looked like he just found my deepest secret, that he had deeply outsmarted me.

I rolled my eyes, I used to get this all the time when I was younger. “My baba called me Natasha out of this old book, but my older sister Mary-Grace couldn’t say it because she was only two or three, so she called me Nina and it stuck” I had rehearsed that line so many time before, when it was still important. He nodded, implying that it was satisfactory. I suddenly felt a chill over my arms, and pulled Cain closer to me.

I pointed behind at the woollen blanket next to Daryl “Could you grab that? Im freezing” For a second he looked bewildered, before reaching behind and lied it on my legs. I pulled Cain up so his head was by my shoulder and adjusted the blanket. I mumbled a thank you before closing my eye, but Daryl had other ideas.

I felt half the blanked come away with a tug, leaving my left side completely uncovered. “I’m fucking cold too kid, don’t be an asshole” He was still slurring his words a bit, but now I couldn’t tell if it was the drink or his accent. We sleepily wrestled about the partition of the blanket, before decided to just sit closer together. Apparently using the argument of “I have a young baby that will freeze to death and then eat you” worked on a drunk archer.

I barley remember falling back asleep but this time I woke up slowly, my eyes unopened, and listened to Carols muffled footsteps upstairs. I slept well, slept well for the first time in a while. My eyes still closed I shifted, on hand still on Cain’s back, and I snuggled myself into the warmth.

Warmth…

Oh shit.

Fuck now I felt it, the side of my face smushed into a chest and the arm curled around my waist. I must have leaned into him in my sleep. Shit what do I do? If I move I’ll wake him up, not that I want to, I’m pretty comfy -Oh sweet jesus I can’t be thinking like this he’s my friend. This will probably be very awkward when he wakes up, should I move ? Can I move ?

I reluctantly peeked an eye open and glanced around the room. It was already light out, light enough to be at the infirmary, defiantly missed helping Maggie then. I allowed myself to shift my head up a little, to see Daryl sound asleep. He looked a lot younger actually, and his hair all ruffled up like that was sweet- Nina whats wrong with you leave him alone.

He smelt good, like oak and something distinctly man Fuck sakes Nina not the time. Oh god I’m proper snuggled up to him, he was warm. I felt my cheeks flare up, and his steady heartbeat was drowned out by the blood pumping in my ears. Stop thinking about how warm he is and how sweet he looks and how he smells just so good and think danmmit !

Okay, actually how about he deals with the awkwardness of waking the other one first. I’ll just close my eyes, pretend I’m asleep, and let him deal with it.

Yeah … Good idea.

I drifted off again, leaning into the comfort of a loose hug. This time I woke up alone, to Cain whimpering on my chest, then feeling his weight lift from me I sat up completely alert. Carol stood over me looking a bit shocked before relaxing with a smile, easing a bottle into Cain’s mouth.

I thanked her, before grabbing some breakfast, well lunch now. Carol still held onto Cain after I’d splashed my face in an attempt to wake myself up .“Daryl’s on a run with Rick” She chimed in from behind me. Oh god, She must have seen us on the couch, Or after we came back from my little walk. Oh fuck she must think I’m a right perv… or maybe she didn’t? Maybe that’s what friends do in an apocalypse?

I rolled my sleeves up before taking Cain back. “Thanks again for last night, it was nice to let off some steam” I smiled, hoping and praying that she hadn’t seen. Her eyes narrowed for a spilt second before her face softened into a smile “It wasn’t any trouble, gives us an excuse for a few drinks”

I looked down at my boots, trying to distract myself from the embarrassment that had washed over the back of my neck “Yeah, ehh sorry about going a bit crazy”. She laughed at that

“How’s the head Ms Natasha?” Denis sang with a half-smile, looking far too amused with herself. I put Cain down in the corner “Jesus how does everyone know that’s my first name?” I huffed. Denis laughs before clearing her throat and putting on a god awful Russian accent.

“You’re not cutting me off, Natasha Ilyinichna Irena Lebedev Price can handle her drink, she is true Russian”

I stared at her in shock, thank god I wasn’t holding the baby because I would have dropped him right there. “I did not” I barely got out a whisper. She handed me a cup of coffee, giving me a look of no sympathy. “You did”

I slowly sat down on the bed, it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve done drunk. One time I flashed my tits to a police officer, who didn’t press charges thank god.

I sipped the coffee, wincing a little at its bitterness but drinking it knowing I’ll need the energy today.

The day was actually pretty normal considering how unusual it started. Did the routine, gossiped a little about the people last night, about Carol and Tobin, when rick and Michonne would get together, how red Glenn’s face got when he drank ect.

I was boiling the equipment to sterilize them when Denis gave me a look, a look that I give to Carl whenever I figure he’s been screwing around with Enid. She fumbled with her hands for a second, leaning agents the counter next to me. “What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She hummed, looking around the room. “Remember how I said that I thought you and Daryl had a thing?” Oh shit. I nodded slowly “Yeah, what about it?” I was careful with my words, not wanting to give away how intrested I actually was on the matter.

Okay, maybe I have a tiny crush.

Denise simply cocked her head at me, like I was supposed to know where this conversation was going. I looked back, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

The doctor cleared her throat before straightening up “You guys were just pretty friendly that’s all”

My eyes followed her “I don’t kno-“my undoubtedly-would-have-been witty response was cut short by something moving in my peripheral vision, instinctively making my hand go to the knife in my pocket.

“Why ar-“I put my hand up to silence her, keeping my eye on the back room.

Could be someone just looking for help, but could be a rotter. Denisse eyes follow mine as I crept into the back room only to see Cain.

I let out a sigh of relief before glancing back, he was in a different spot to where I put him.

Thankfully Denise was there to fill in the blanks “Holy shit he’s crawling”

I froze, my eyes fixated on the clumsy movements while he moved closer toward us before stumbling a little and flopping onto his stomach.

I let out a hearty laugh before stooping down to pick him look from his armpits. Holy shit, my baby’s crawling. “Hey look what you did” I cooed, looking into his his (literal) baby blues.

I burst through the door into the house dizzy with excitement and placed Cain onto the wooden floor. I wanted to see it again.

“What are you doing?” I quickly shushed Carol, who stamped passed me to close the door into the night. Carol let out a little squeak seeing Cain flop forward again and begin to drag himself toward Daryl, who sat on a stool near the kitchen.

I gasped, still shocked at his new skill. “Aren’t you just the cleverest little thing !” Carol exclaimed, picking him up once he fell again, nearly mirroring my reaction. I chuckled bringing my figure up to rub under his chin. “He’s gonna be the next Usain Bolt I betcha”

It was just me and Daryl playing a game of poker on the couch that evening. I had put Cain down after his feed about twenty minutes ago and Carol had gone to see Tobin when she thought none of us would notice.

Honestly we were both a bit awkward once it was only us, so Daryl offered a game. It helped, we were back to our usual snarky remarks and sideways glances after the first round. Neither one of us had mentioned this morning, which was fine.

Totally fine.

…

Maybe I wanted to talk about it, maybe I wanted to know how he felt about it.

…

Maybe Denis was right and I had a major crush.

His laugh brought me out of over thinking. His eyes lit up as placed a full house down in front of my eyes. “Awh fuck you Dixon” I snarled, trying to force down a laugh at his exited face. Daryl’s green eyes scrunched up with joy “You’re just Jealous Dolly that you’re crap at this game” My chest fluttered with the new nickname.

He was right. I was crap.

“Dolly?” I grumbled, giving him an eye while I reshuffled the cards. “Like Dolly Parton?” He smiled again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so much. I liked it.

Daryl didn’t even get an answer out before I joked “Just because of the blonde hair and big tits?” My turn to smile. Daryl’s ears turned a bright red before shaking his head. “Nah” His eyes were not fixated on his cards, his long fingers fumbling trying to put them in order. “You’re just always singing her that’s all”

I hummed, accepting that excuse. But it was definitely because of my blonde hair and tits.

We were quiet for a time, focusing on the game, and once it became clear that I was once again going to lose I tried to distract him “How was the run today?” I asked, looking up from my cards to see his brow furrowed in concentration.

He took a moment to respond. “Shit, found a big truck full of supplies that ended up in a lake”

That took me back and I let my cards go limp. Daryl’s shoulders slumped a little, obviously not something he wanted to talk about.

We played for another round before my nattering was interrupted with a sudden question.

“Do you want to stay?” Daryl didn’t look at me, kept his eyes fixated on his cards I scanned his face, wondering why he was asking. I dropped my cards, suddenly feeling the room become serious. “Well I want Cain to grow up safe, and Denise needs me in the infirmary and-“ He cut me off “I know a roamer when I see one Nina” His chest rose and fell

“You’re saying you have to stay, but do you want to?” He looked at me, his eyes filled with something, something close to desperation.

The same desperation that was reflected mine the past few days. I let out a shaky breath, feeling myself my heart thumping in my chest “I’m starting to” his eyes darted down to my lips for a fraction, and I bit my own. We just sat there looking at each other for what felt like a lifetime, my mind racing and stopping at the same time.

I don’t know who leaned in first or whose hands reached out first but in an instant our lips met, and his hand was on my cheek. It was slow, like neither one of us was sure it was a good idea, but perusing anyways.

Tags:https://tmblr.co/mJ8tAevvokZdRi9HxEHeCrw

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part nine Part ten

31 notes · View notes

groovycatcollector · 4 years

Text

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gape

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

AU:I am so sorry this is so long I’ve been in quarantine for seven weeks

Chapter 10

My ass was damp agent the wet garden chair while I brought the beer bottle back up to my lips, must have been an odd site, me sitting in a satin blue bridesmaid dress with a cheap bottle in my hand. The wedding was still merry and loud long after night fell. It was a lovely wedding, and now three of the seven Price children were gone and married. I gulped down the bitter drink (given to me by the eldest Mae, who now can’t drink thanks to getting knocked up) hearing Baba walking stick before I heard her call my name

“Natasha” only she called me that “you hardly tired now solnyshkuh” She sat next to me on the damp bench, ruining her purple dress.

She reached a hand out for me to hold once she was settled and I held it “No Baba, just taking a break” She hummed, shaking my hand affectionately. “Sonya found a boy” She remarked, her accent still thick, she only moved to America in her twenties. She didn’t sound pleased about the prospects of Sonya finding a dance partner “He’s too ugly for her”

He wasn’t ugly in truth, even I was a bit weak at the knees for him. He was Sherry’s mysterious cousin from upstate. He was tall with high cheekbones, and short black hair. He was partnered to lead Sonya down the aisle and took great joy in seeing identical twins. We chatting for a while before dinner all three of us, but I quickly excused myself to after Sonya gave me a side-glance meaning: “Please fuck off I want to sit on his face”. So I excused myself to go play with Florence’s new-born Daisy.

I chuckled and handed her the bottle, offering her a sip. I was closest to her, she choice mine and Sonya’s name, which of course it had to be from a Russian old book. Irena Katina Nikolaevna Lebedev was probably the proudest person I know, even prouder to still to be Russian. But Irena Katina Nikolaevna Lebedev didn’t like pretty boys, she didn’t trust them, and my twin had just found one to dance with at our brothers wedding.

“You” She took a swig, still holding my hand. “You find a strong man, with nice arms” I looked at her, her head covered in her shawl, and underneath I knew was a jungle of curls that travelled through the family. “No soft’s like Ray, a good man, perhaps rich man would be nice” Thin lips that often spat out scaving remarks curled into a smile. “Now come” Baba bent forward and allowed her walking stick to prop her up.

Despite the hair, the name and the honesty I have inherited from her, it was the eyes that I and Sonya got. Big dark eyes, but hers like looked at the world like she knew its secrets “I get you real drink, we are Russian, no Americans” I laughed before linking arms with her and proceeded to get hammered.

Last time I was in a church I was in blue satin, now I stood in a white shirt, holding a small child in an onesie. Maggie, Glenn and Father Gabriel stood around to the holy water. I felt kind of awkward being back in a church for some reason, well more than awkward, I was kinda panicking if I’m being honest. I had barley decided on a name, why the fuck did I always zone out when they got mushy.

“What do you think?” Beau asked, leaning agents the fireplace looking fondly at his girlfriend chatting to our Grandpa. My curly head barley reached the mantel only being thirteen. “She’s real pretty” I said, and he, still not taking his eyes off of her, smiled. My no nonsense older brother finally got bit with the love bug. Florence and Mary-Grace already knew Noelle from school, but it was her first time meeting the rest of us; Dwight, the parents, grandparents and the kid sisters (that’s were me and Sonya came in)

Her dark hair stood out in the room like a sore thumb in a family of blondes and redheads. Mary-Grace and her bright flames of hair took Mae’s place next to Baba by the fire now she had moved out and gotten married. Beau, being the third oldest in the house at nineteen, stood a good foot and a half taller than me, with curls brighter than mine and Sonya’s, and blue eyes like my daddy.

Our house was really only one room that wasn’t used for sleeping, were we all were now. It acted as kitchen, sitting room and dining room all on top of each other since Baba and grandpa had to move in.

“How in the name of Moses did you get a girl like that Beau?” Sonya came sneaking up behind us “Seriously man she’s a ten and you are an ugly motherfucker” My image remarked crossing her arms over her chest. Beau simply rolled his eyes “language” he muttered before pushing her in the shoulder.

Everything was all a blur as Gabriel was mumbling Latin from a book, which in fairness is pretty hard to read considering it’s a dead language. “Name of guardian?” He asked finally looking up at me after taking the boy from my hands. None of this felt real for some reason, I felt like I was in a dream. I shuffled my feet and licked my lips, my body getting nervous, deep breath Nina.

Pulling my shoulders back I announced myself “Natasha Ilyinichna Irena Lebedev Price” I heard a faint “Oh yeah I forgot she was Russian” from Maggie, forcing myself to smile at her.

Still not looking at my nephew or the priest. I focused on the cross behind his head, I was anxious to get this done with, to make sure he had sort of protection. My eyes darted around the room as Maggie and Glenn were called to pour the holy water over the baby’s head, both giving me an odd look and asking if I was alright.

“What do you think of it all?” Sonya whispered in a hush as we lay in the dark, both of us trying to ignore the sound of our parents shouting. Parents shouting at the decision Sonya had made. “Think of what?” I asked, tucking the bedsheet up to my chin. She sat up in the double bed we shared. “Don’t fucking play me Nina” Her voice was harsh and bolder then usual, for a girl so reserved and gentile, she was pissed.

She sat up and turned the lamp on, making Mary-Grace groan and tousle from the other side of the room. She sat up and crossed her arms, her mouth twitching “Well?”

Groaning I sat up too, not wanting to have this conversation. “What do you want me to say?” She was looking for a fight and I knew it. Her sporadic hand gestures gave her away “What you think? What do you think I should do?” Sonya’s eyes welled up with tears. I sighed “I don’t know Sonya, it’s a big decision”

She wanted to move to New York and live with Florence, who had a townhouse with her husband and two kids. Sonya had won a scholarship in the last pageant, and wanted to be an architect… and leave. New York sounded good, fun. Just far away. “Why do you even want to leave?” I asked with a sight, not understanding her longing to leave the safety of trees that surrounded the town.

“What do you mean why do I want to leave?” She looked at me dumbfounded, and a heavy air set between us. “If you were given the opportunity to get out you would too, I don’t want to be sewn to your hip for the rest of my life”. I raised my eyebrow at that, “You’re stuck to my hip?” I scoffed “Fuck off Sonya don’t be such a cunt” My arms got a chill looking at her face contort trying to control her rage.

“I think you’re jealous” She scaved, leaning forward into my face “I think you’re freaking out that you just realized you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing with your life” I leaned over her, not breaking eye contact, and turned off the lamp. My heart racing at her words, wanting to shout and kick and bite for what she said. But I didn’t. “I think you’re freaking out because you don’t know you who are without me” I whispered.

She stared dumbfounded, knowing I was right. Neither of us really knew who we were without the other. Didn’t matter if he had different interests, who liked pageants or cross country. Who was closer to Baba or Grandpa. We didn’t know who we were without each other.

I turned away from her pulling the bedsheet around me “Night Sonya”

“I aint going with you guys tomorrow, I don’t want to listen to you all the way to Roanoke”

“Do you have a name ?” Maggie asked, just as they were about to pour the water on his head. Snapping back into reality, looking at the kid for the first time since we got into the church. “Uhh” oh shit yeah a name “Cain” I said, suddenly remembering “Cain Lyova Price” I forced a smile, not really listening.

Feeling a pang of grief for my brother that I hadn’t allowed myself to feel. I watched them together drunk his head into the water, whispering prayers of protection. And finally he would be protected, not in this world but in death. I closed my eyes feeling a shudder down my spine, God don’t let him die.

My brothers child, that stupid bastard should be here not me. He could have given him a good name. I mean Cain? What kind of stupid name was that?

I felt all the anger and grief bubble up, making my chest break into silent sobs. No. Not now. I can’t feel it now. I smiled, whipping the tear that had risen in my eye, trying to pass it off as tears of joy before hugging the tree.

I take the kid- Cain, back into my arms, before smiling and saying quickly a thanks and how I had to get to the infirmary.

The infirmary was as it usually was, quiet. Today we had the riveting excitement of Eugene asking if a mole was cancerous, which it wasn’t as he’d had it for a few years and had not grown, moved or changed colour or shape.

“You okay?” Denise asked me just as our ‘patient’ left. I smiled picking up the bab-Cain and shaking a bottle of formula. “Yeah fine” I lied with a smile, not wanting to acknowledge the tightness I felt in my throat for my brother. The doctor narrowed her eyes, before sitting down in front of her cheat sheet. She was just about to open her mouth to argue when I interrupted “Yah know what I haven’t had in a while?” She knew she didn’t have to answer, my nerves giving me the gift of small talk.

“A good piss up” I stated, nudging the bottle into Cain’s mouth. I laughed to myself while Denise just looked at me confused. “Remember the boxes of moonshine we found? Do you think they’d miss just one?” My colleague stood frowning “Nine we can’t steal, we need them to disinfect wounds” Her scolding me, though not sounding entirely too agents the idea. I rolled my eyes as she came closer, putting a hand on the baby’s foot.

“So what did you name him?” She changed the subject, looking up at me and pushing her glasses back up her nose. “Cain” I whispered looking down at him. “Or Lyova, havn’t decided wich one I want to call him” Denise hummed looking back at him, whos hands were grasped to the bottle, gulping like it was his last ever feed.

“Lyova, havn’t heard that one before” She looked up at me “Russian, for Lion” I explained. She nodded before moving back to study her cheat sheet. “Makes sense if he has hair like yours”. I faked laughed, looking back down, his daddy had lighter hair, more white then mine.

A few hours passed, the normal routine had taken over when Carol walked in with her usual chirpy smile. “Hey girls” she sang, placing a basket on the operating table. I still didn’t trust her, felt like she wasn’t being honest for some reason, no one survives out there and still comes there smiling and cheerful. I figured she was a bit like me in that way, full of shit.

Carol turned to look at me, one hand on her hip “So, what did you call him?” jeeze everyone wants to know this kids name. “Cain Lyova” I smiled back, a smile equally full of shit of the one I was reciprocating. “Oh Lyova, that’s beautiful” She cooed, leaning down to look at him sitting on the floor shaking a toy. “It was my great-uncles” I noted, not too keen on mention that he was fighting for the soviets in Word War II.

I smiled at her, the colour on her neat jumper suited her, a pale blue. “I was thinking” She straightened up and faced me “Why don’t we celebrate?” She gave a little hmmp after indicating it was more of a request then a question. I raised an eyebrow, maybe she was listening in before smiling. “It’s not every day we’ve something to celebrate, could invite one or two people over and have a drink tonight” shaking my head I let out a sigh. Well I can’t believe it my dreams just came true. “Ma’am I think you read my mind”

I woke up to the sound of the creaks of heavy footsteps followed by the door squeaking open. It was cold, and Sonya was snuggled up agents by back protecting herself agents the snow that fell softly on the window. My first speculation was that it was some sick murderer dressed up as Santa to kill us, it being Christmas Eve but soon decided that it was just Daddy going for a cigarette.

Just wanting to calm my nerves I pulled myself free of my sister, and immediately regretting leaving the warmth of the bed once the sting of the December air. Pulling my shoulders up close to my neck to try keep the warmth from leaving my body, I opened the door of our bedroom into the sitting room to see the front door wide open letting the snow in. Rushing to see what is was I ran to the door and peeped out, scared shitless and freezing my tits off.

What I saw gave me an icy shock of what I would never get out of my head. Baba stood, bare foot in her white nightgown in the snow. Her curly hair down, reaching past her waist as she fell to her knees and let out a shriek. I turned and grabbed a blanket from the couch and ran out to get her.

“Baba” I called stepping down from the porch “Come back inside its freezing”. She didn’t turn to look at me. Just sat in the snow looking up at the pine trees.

“Baba” I called again, a little softer, I was only a few feet away from her now. Baba sat motionless, her knees now either side of her. I could hear her muttering in Russian, something about a sister

She was rocking back and forth, not breaking her eyes from the trees“Net net ne ona, ne snova ne moya sestra, pozhaluysta, ne moya sestra”. I placed a hand on her shoulder, making her stop rocking.

I cupped my hand under her armpits pulling her up before wrapping the blanket around her shoulders “C’mon Baba, let’s get you inside”.

Oh yeah I was drunk. Glenn, Daryl, Aaron, Spencer and I may have ended up playing a drinking game. Turns out I’ve done a lot of things and slept with a lot of people because I lost pretty hard. Also turns out, I speak a bit of Russian when I’m drunk, didn’t even know I knew Russian that well, the more you know I suppose.

One or two people according to Carol turned out to be most of Alexandria, not that I minded, it gave me a break from the baby because so many people wanted to hold him. I liked Carol, even if she was full of shit, I liked her, and I respect people who do what they can to survive. Though, seeing her be all flirty with Tobin was a bit gross. Then all of a sudden I looked around the room and everyone was flirting with everyone.

Anyways, now someone has Cain or Lyova or whatever to fuck I named him, and I was lying on the grass, pretty shitfaced. I liked looking at the stars, one good thing about this godforsaken shithole with dead sons’o’bitches walking around is that we have more stars.

I liked stars. I put my palms down flat to the ground to try steady myself from feeling so dizzy. The other hand rested carefully on my bottle, quiet comfortable on my own. Not wanting to be in a room with so many people. Last time I was in a room celebrating something was with my family, and now they’re all dead.

I heard a whistle behind me and I craned my head back to see, still not knowing who it was I raised a hand waving hi. “Hey kid” ahh the familiar grumblings of Mr. Dixon. “Mr. Dixon how nice of you to join me” I said politely as he stood above my head, he looked confused, but his cheeks were pink.

“Whacha doin’ out here?” Jeeze straight to the point. He was standing pretty close, his feet barley a centimetre from my head. I thought for a moment before answer “I went for a stroll, thought it could sober me up a bit” I was being honest. “Didn’t think I’d screwed so many people” I laughed to myself, sitting up a bit to bring the bottle to my lips.

Daryl sat down with a sigh “I think you’d had enough” he went to take the bottle out of my hand but I pulled it away, cradling it like a baby “Heyyyyyy hold on a minute Mr. Dixon” He rolled his eyes, before looking away and looking back again. I liked his eyes, even if he acted like he was all tough his eyes were soft, and sweet.

“So, why Cain?” He lay next to me, our shoulders barley brushing and my stomach suddenly did a summer sault “Well I thought I was being kinda clever” I slurred, my mouth not willing to articulate. “You know the story of Cain and Able?” One hand was rested on the bottle that hung loosely by my side, while the other was thrown up in the air, flopping like crazy.

“Nah, I don’t believe in that bible stuff” He said, moving his hands to rest on his abdomen, I glanced over at him “So who was Cain and Able” He inquired looking at me. I smiled to myself, feeling a sudden purpose in the years my Mama spent telling us the stories.

“They were brothers” I said simply “But when Cain killed Able God cursed him with immortality, no one could hurt him; he would forever be in divine protection” I trailed off, my arm still upright stilled.

“And I was hoping, with me killing my brother God would grant my Cain protection in this fuckin’ curse of the world” I sighed, feeling the guilt and remorse I had been keeping busy to ignore swung up. I dropped my hand.

“’m sorry” He said and I turned to meet his face. “I had to kill my brother too” I’m not sure if it was the liquor or the grief, but I swear I could feel the ground pulsing beneath me. I looked at the archers’ face, all the lines and scares that told his story presented so plainly but all upstaged by the soul in his eyes. I suddenly felt like I knew him, or wanted to know him at.

For as much as we talked about our home lives it was only pre-apocalypse, never after. “I went out looking for him and found him as a walker, it really fucked with me for a while” he explained “He cut his own hand off right at the start, so he had this” it was his turn to lift his forearm “Badass knife put on in it’s place” He smiled, I like his smile, it made me smile too.

Daryl dropped his arm, and his smile. He turned his head back up to the sky but I didn’t look away, not yet. I decided to share my tale “I was on a run when he was born, and something must have gone wrong” Now I turned my face away, feeling my throat welling up, I barley thought about what happened, let alone talked about it.

“He-Cain must have then been quiet, because when I came in Beau was cradling Noel” I took a deep breath “Who was covered in her own blood, and I had just opened the door when he’d slit his own throat” My voice broke, and the corner of my eyes were stinging with tears. “But the fool didn’t go deep enough so he was just sitting there bleeding out with his wife” I let the bottle drop, not caring anymore.

I felt Daryl grab my hand, and I squeezed it tight. I let out a laugh, trying to brush off the sudden outburst of realizing that was the first time I’ve said his name in six months “Sorry, guess I’m just a sap” Jesus this is embarrassing, at least I didn’t vomit on his, yet.

I felt him squeeze my hand and I looked at him “You ain’t a sap, he was your brother” I smiled at him, grateful. I turned my head back up to look at the glimmers of the night sky. Feeling my throat well up again, I coughed, trying to keep it down.

I listened to the crickets, and the songbirds, and the thumping of my chest before remembering I was still holding Daryl’s hand.

“Yah know” I said, looking at him again “This is real romantic” My chest, previously stifling sobs was now bursting with laugher. “You and me” He said, smiling “Looking at the stars, holding hands, swappin’ stories about how we killed our brothers”

The stupidity and seriousness of the situation spurred my laughter on more

For the first time in nearly four years it was completely safe, I didn’t feel like I had to be ready to attack, or run or suddenly become a mom of a kid I didn’t make.

It was just him and me, lying in the dry grass, looking at the starry sky.

Tags:https://tmblr.co/mJ8tAevvokZdRi9HxEHeCrw

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven

Part eight Part nine Part eleven

26 notes · View notes