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#descendant of thieves
romancemedia · 4 months
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This poll focuses solely on Disney Couples who got married at the end of their film or later in a sequel. Disney Couples who got married off-screen will not be included.
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gabineteolvidado · 1 year
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┬┴┬┴┤FACTION WAR├┬┴┬┴
III
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NOTE 1: It's a young King B., hence his long hair and no glasses.
NOTE 2: The fairy does not manipulate the King, he is like that. The fairy only enjoys his personality.
IV
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♡( •ॢ◡-ॢ)✧˖° ♡
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One of my favorite things about Descendants is like Disney has so many characters it’s pretty easy to make oc’s. You want a Cecaelia that’s not Uma’s sister? Could be Morgana’s kid. You want your oc to be a memaid and still live on the Isle? Could be Marina’s kid. You want them from the 101 Dalmatians story? Boom Anita and Roger have a baby. You want your oc to be from Greek mythology origins but not related to Hercules King Triton or Mal? The fates are moms now. You want a good mermaid that’s not Ariel? She’s got six sisters take your pick. Or he’ll you can even be Melody’s kid. Like Aladdin and want a villain kid oc from his story that’s not related to Jay? Welcome to the forty thieves babe. Want a Snow White oc to keep Evie company on the Isle? Congrats Huntsman, you’re a father. You want Mal to have a cousin? Aside from Hercules, King Triton and allegedly Ursula and therefore Morgana Olympus is full bby take your pick. Hell maybe your oc is the child of Megara’s ex she sold her soul for. Or the centaur. Or Phil, or Achilles. The possibilities are endless.
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bunny-lou · 2 years
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Ben: “I think you have PTSD.”
Jay: “Yeah, I do have PTSD - Proficient Talent for Sucking Dick.”
Ben: “I think we also need to talk about your use of humor as a way to avoid your feelings.”
Jay: “I don’t think you understand how genius what I just said was.”
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disturbia-2024 · 2 months
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Descendent of thieves
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princess-ibri · 2 years
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Was talking to @gayfergus about Disney Robin Hood and other characters from the story who should get add in/Robin and Marian’s kids, and got inspired to doodle some ‘Canon Descendants’ designs for my own take on them. Based them off of Gwyn from Disney’s “Princess of Thieves” cuz Kiera Knightley is amazing and Roland from OUAT cuz he’s adorable
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dilfsonic · 2 years
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The disrespect not only fandom but IDW continually puts on my boy’s name 😭 I hate Jet’s treatment I really do
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itsalwaysforyou · 1 year
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JAY AND CELIA FIC WHEN
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setokaibapetty · 3 months
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5 + 1 Fic Friday Roundup: Not in the Big Leagues
Let's give some love to some smaller fandoms. Like Wednesday which, even you don't have any interest in the show, you should see the first season's opening.
Wednesday: it's only wednesday (AO3) - "essentially, the wednesday characters with no murder or mayhem"
Death is the Only Ending for the Villian: A Revised List (AO3) - "How would the story have changed if Penelope didn't immediately cross off everyone's names at the beginning?"
Descendants: Half-Truths and Overfull Hearts (AO3) - "Jafar had always been more of a con-man than a thief. He had managed to trick the Sultan of Agrabah himself, once upon a time. Had almost succeeded in taking over, too. And now, stuck on this island, Jafar twisted Jay’s head, manipulating his only son into doing his dirty work. Power, after all, was everything. So, while Maleficent was busy ordering Mal to steal Fairy Godmother’s magic wand, Jafar came up with a plan of his own – pass Jay off as Aladdin’s long lost son."
7 Kingdoms Princess Problems: Finding Space (AO3) - "Sina's new sister is pretty much the best sister ever. For some reason, though, some people don’t seem very happy she's here."
Charmed (1998): Despite the Abundance (AO3) - "Wyatt is the powerful one. Twice-blessed, prophesied, all of that. Chris is the smart one."
Bonus! D&D Honor Among Thieves (2023): vicious mockery (AO3) - "Five times Edgin actually uses magic, and one time he doesn’t."
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flowersandbigteeth · 1 year
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What if there was a dance to find the (insert whatever monster) king's mate so they can produce a heir(and many more kids)
And a regular human reader attends for free food not believing they'll be picked from but turns out the king had a eye on reader the whole time
Ahhh! I adore this idea! Anything that has to do with food immediately has my support and any reader I write would be first in line at the buffet :D
Shadow King (Zintius) x female reader
Word Count: 2.5K
W: sfw monster fluff, kidnapping, some sfw forced stripping
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You smoothed the pointy clay tips you’d glued to your ears to make you look like a pixie, before you slipped out of the bathroom and back into the ballroom. 
Around you Fairyfolk were gathered dressed to the nines, all covered in sequins and feathers to attract the eye of the Shadow King. No one paid any attention to you, as a human you were much too plain to compete with these otherworldly beauties. Sirens, fairies, lovely creatures you’d never even heard of before crowded the room, subtly elbowing each other in the ribs to be the first that the King laid eyes on as he descended the stairs. 
Your focus, however, was the buffet. As a human in Fairy, you were unpopular to say the least and would never be allowed in a place like this, but with a little bit of pheromone lifted off of a witch and some micah powder to make your skin glitter you’d made yourself up to pass as a pixie so you could pilfer the feast. I
t was a con you pulled often, though this was perhaps your most bold move yet. This was the King’s marriage ball. He was looking for a wife so only the richest, prettiest, and most affluent Fairyfolk in the land had gone to great expense to travel as far as the Realm of Shadow to seduce him. 
It didn’t matter that he was ten feet tall and mostly smoke and big teeth. He had power and that was beautiful. The realm of Light and the realm of Twilight feared him, declaring him their greatest enemy. He was known to be brutal and imperialistic, wanting to spread his darkness as far as the other two realms would allow. 
None of that concerned you, however. While their heads were all turned to watch the King descend the stairs, you were pulling a sack from underneath your stolen, stained ball gown and loading it full of croissants, cupcakes, and whatever else wasn’t too sticky to fit. It wasn’t the flashiest con, but you were just a human, you did what you could to get by and this one was easy. You got away every time and ate for a week if you rationed everything out. 
When you’d gotten all you could, you shoved the sack under your fluffy dress, one you’d stolen out of the trash pile of a seamstress’ shop, and blended back into the crowd. It would be suspicious if you bolted immediately, the guards were trained to watch for thieves who would do just that, so you had to stick around for at least another hour.
You’d slip out of the back, look a little drunk if anyone stopped you, find a quiet place and put on the stable boy outfit you also had hidden in your skirt and casually walk away looking like a servant carrying out the trash.  
In the meantime, your eyes drifted over the crowd, trying to figure out if you could pilfer any loose valuables while you were waiting…these rich people wouldn’t notice a few baubles missing. You didn’t even bother to look for the King, though you heard all the trumpets and fanfare announcing his arrival.
Your eye caught on a jewel encrusted fan sticking out of the back pocket of a handsome goblin. Like a cat, you honed in on your target, drifting closer and closer to the sparkling prize. 
“I throw a whole ball just for you and I can’t even catch your eye,” a rumbling voice boomed just as you raised your hand to snatch the fan. 
You whirled around, cheeks red, trying to look innocent, eyes widening as you took in the figure looming over you. The Shadow King looked down at you with six eyes glowing gold from the dark space that was his face. 
“Um…I…Um…what?” you stammered. 
A wide, white smile appeared on his face, no lips, only teeth. 
“Finally, you look at me,” he said. 
You instinctively took a step back, unsure what was happening. Was he confused? Was he teasing you? Surely this was some cruel joke because he’d caught you stealing, though you didn’t entirely understand it. 
“Come,” he said, holding out a large hand. Whirls of black smoke drifted up off of it. The whole room was looking at you with obvious hostility, so you shakily took his hand, unsure what else to do. Your heart was hammering in your chest. The one rule of conning was commit to the bit, you had to let this play out, but what was happening?
He led you to the center of the room and music began. Your mouth fell open as he put one hand on your hip and with the other he clasped your hand and you started to dance. You had no idea how to dance, so you simply stumbled over his feet. He chuckled, revealing his white teeth again and lifted you up a bit, depositing your feet on top of his. 
“Here, like this,” he said, before swinging you around the ballroom to the music. The guests blurred around you as he spun across the shiny marble floor. 
His six eyes, all with different colored irises blinked down at you with utter fascination. He remembered the first time he saw you at some silly party he’d been compelled to attend. You’d done quite a good job hiding you were human only, as he’d wandered onto the terrace to get some air, he’d looked down to see you undressing. He’d watched in fascination as you’d unloaded a sack full of food and a handful of valuables, before peeling off your dress, plucking the tips from your ears and hurriedly disguising yourself like a servant boy with some pants and a low cap. 
He’d snuck off, following you, curious about your life and where you were going. Humans were all but extinct in Fairy, the fact that you were alive at all was a bit remarkable. Hiding as a cloud of smoke in the shadows he watched you dangling your feet over the dock watching the boats on the river while you munched on your ill gotten gains.
It was impossible to keep his eyes off of your plump lips as you chewed and your pretty hands as you wiped crumbs from your cheeks. His heart had dropped when he’d watched you curl up in a barrel near where they dumped the trash, your head resting on your bag of pastries to sleep. 
After that he’d used his own disguises to move through the nobility. It would be obnoxious if the king came to every party, but transforming himself into an unassuming orc nobleman, he eagerly waited for your arrival at every flashy party in the capital. He found your disguise rather clever and the way you slipped in and out, making yourself unseen despite how beautiful you were, very impressive.
It stunned him how well you could read your marks. You followed the cadence of the room, striking just when someone was distracted with new love or jealousy. Too wrapped up in their own drama to even care that whatever they lost was missing. 
He never bothered you, afraid to disturb what seemed to be your main source of food and income. That is until he set this little trap to catch you. 
“How long I’ve waited to have you in my arms,” he purred at you. 
You blinked your eyes at him. 
“You have?” you gasped, “are…are you sure you’re not mistaking me for someone else?” 
He just shook his head, the song ending. You were aware the entire room was looking at you with a mix of disgust and envy. As the next song began and some partners filled the dance floor a plucky witch dared to shoot her shot at the King, sure she could easily pull his attention from you. You almost let out a relieved sigh when you saw her approaching. She was a perfect excuse to make your escape and pretty enough to probably succeed. 
Only when she reached you he waved her away. 
“I’m busy,” he growled before she could even open her mouth and your hope scurried away. 
“Let’s go somewhere more private, pet,” he said, scooping you up in his arms to the dismay of you and the entire room and the two of you disappeared in a puff of smoke. 
You immediately panicked when you realized where you were, struggling in his arms. They were impossibly strong for appearing to be made of nothing but black mist. He’d brought you to his bedroom. You could only assume it was his bedroom because it was the nicest one you’d ever been in. The walls were draped in glittering gold fabric and jewel encrusted weapons humming with power were mounted where they parted.
“Shhh, shhh,” he shushed you, snapping his fingers and the cold fireplace lit bathing the room in warm light. 
The sudden sparks startled you still. In the glitter of firelight the shadow king’s black skin almost seemed to have a bit of a sparkle to it. Looking down on you and smiling again with his eerie Cheshire cat smile, he plucked the clay points from your ears. 
“You don’t need to hide from me, little human,” he said, “you’re perfectly safe…but you must tell me…I’ve been dying to know your name.” 
“Maurine,” you lied and he frowned at you, his smile inverting. 
“It’s not wise to lie to  me, pet,” he growled, his six eyes narrowing and the colors in them flashing. 
“(Y/N),” you squeaked. 
His mouth flipped again, creepily and he brushed your hair. 
“There’s no reason to lie, anyway,” he assured you, depositing you into a chair in front of the fire before he crossed the room to a pitcher of water and a bowl, “whatever petty problems you may have you can rely on me to solve them.”  
Wetting a rag he returned to scrub the micah from your cheeks that was giving you the pixie-like sheen. Pinching your cheeks with his shadowy fingers, he scrubbed until every bit of your disguise was off of you. From then on, Zintius wanted you to look like yourself. You’d never have to steal for a living again. He’d stuff you full of so many pastries you were plump and round. 
You gasped, surprised as his large hand slipped up your skirt and fished around, brushing your bare thigh. His smile got brighter as he retrieved the sack of food and the other bag of supplies you carried on you, pulling them from under it. 
Your eyes widened in horror as he tossed the bag with the food in it casually into the fireplace as if it weren’t your only source of sustenance for a week. You were almost afraid he was going to toss in your meager belongings, but he only rummaged around in them for the bottle of pheromone that apparently offended him. He was sure to toss that into the fireplace as well. 
When his eyes returned to you they were laser focused on the smelly dress you’d pulled from the garbage and you started to climb over the back of the chair to escape him. He was much too fast and much too big, yanking you back down. The sound of fabric ripping filled the room as he shredded the poor thing. 
“So lovely,” he gasped in his throat as he took in your body, bathed in golden light. It was so much more than when he’d imagined it. It had been impossible to see the appealing figure you’d been hiding under the ill fitting dress and boy’s clothes. 
Folding himself down to you as you squealed and shrank back into the chair, he breathed in your sweet scent, underneath the annoying pheromone you were wearing. He was much too impatient to wait to scrub you, reminding himself to tell the maids to take the bedding immediately in the morning when he got around to giving you a bath. The sooner he never had to smell that stuff again the better. 
Scooping you up, he hurried to the bed. 
“What are you doing?!” you snarled, beating your fists against his chest, which he conveniently made smoke when you struck him so your hands slipped right through. It was not a funny joke, but he found it very amusing, smiling down at you as he climbed across the spread with you in one arm. 
“I’m going to mate you,” he explained innocently. 
You gasped, scandalized. 
“Me!? But…but…mating is forever and I’m human! The goddess doesn’t make human mates. She hates humans!” 
He snorted. 
“The Goddess long ago betrayed me,” he snarled, “She cursed me to never have a Fairy mate, but I can and will have my own. You…I can feel it…perhaps the God of man blessed me just to spite her. I’ll never stop thanking him for his kindness, delivering a human angel to me. If he wants me to spend my life crusading against her creations, I will, if it means I can keep you.” 
You’d prayed to Adam, the God of man so many nights as you’d slept near the dock, wondering if his reach stretched all the way to Fairy. Only what you’d prayed for was that a stray portal would open up and you’d be taken back to Earth where you’d learned the rest of the humans lived, not this…but Gods were a fickle, spiteful bunch and sticking it to Freya by undermining her curse sounded like just the sort of thing Adam would do. 
The Shadow King practically purred at you, his smokey fingertips drifting over your bare skin as you cowered into the pillows. 
“I can be a good lover, pet,” he promised you, “I have the power to give you whatever you like. Do you want jewels? Castles? Servants to step all over?” 
You shook your head. 
“I-I don’t need all that,” you stammered, “I-I just…” 
You weren’t sure what you were trying to say. 
His eyes narrowed on you and you saw a sliver of tooth as he smirked at you. 
“Aren’t you just a little bit curious?” he asked, “don’t you want to know what it’s like not to scrabble in the dirt as you have your whole life? I’ve seen you sleeping in the cold trash, love, you never have to sleep on anything but the finest silk in front of a warm fireplace for the rest of your life. I watched the way your eyelashes fluttered as you woke, terrified of what had found you in the dark. You never have to be afraid to close your eyes again. All you have to do is give yourself to me.” 
The simple lure of a warm, safe bed was enough to break you and you nodded slowly. Pleased, his smile stretched to opposite ends of his face in a terrifying grin, his six eyes eating up your body now that you'd given him permission and glowing fiery gold. 
“You’ll never regret this (Y/N),” he assured you, as his fingers tore the frayed undergarments you were still wearing, “I promise you.”
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romancemedia · 2 years
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Disney Wedding Kisses
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gabineteolvidado · 1 year
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┬┴┬┴┤FACTION WAR├┬┴┬┴
Rotten Apple
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Friendship can be found in the most unexpected places.
♒((⇀‸↼))♒Warning. Violence, mental issues.
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Soul Stealer
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To be continued
╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯
I have a lot of work, it is likely that you will hear from me until next sunday.
Lov U
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level2janitor · 3 months
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Introduction to the OSR
what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:
low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:
emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.
emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.
focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.
very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.
high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.
usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.
what does the OSR mostly NOT do?
focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.
resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.
use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.
rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.
mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.
System recommendations
old D&D or a retroclone
old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!
PROS:
very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.
100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.
easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.
CONS:
jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there
i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.
there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here
Knave 1e and its various hacks
this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.
rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.
characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.
initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat
monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.
spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.
7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.
DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.
KNAVE HACKS
knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).
Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.
you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)
XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun
uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.
you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.
there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.
there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.
DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.
i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.
Knave 2e
sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.
much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.
combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.
there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.
there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.
DOWNSIDES: i personally can't think of any! it's a very complete good functional system.
Mausritter
you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want
the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids
nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing
tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables
super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.
combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.
100% free
look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday
Worlds Without Number
sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e.
lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!
extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched
an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them
skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them
DOWNSIDES
the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.
the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash
Dungeon Crawl Classics
the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.
the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.
maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!
crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool
spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign
there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it
iron halberd
this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points
semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing
you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.
way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit
in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success
also free
Adventure recommendations
(in rough order of size)
Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.
A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.
The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids
The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.
Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures
Ask me anything!
if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.
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adnauseum11 · 3 months
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Misfire (John Price x Reader)
A little snippet of a scene came to me and made me laugh. John Price having a crush on a long time friend and finally working up the nerve to ask her out. Kinda.
less than 1k words
John Price x fem! reader
SFW
feedback welcome
I know almost nothing of CoD other than fanfic so go easy on me
I wouldn't know how to write shy and retiring if my life depended on it.
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You’ve known John forever. Like, forever, forever. The friend group he originated from disintegrated years ago, but the two of you remained thick as thieves. He’s moved in and out of the country, and you’ve changed careers a few times, but through it all he’s been a reliable shoulder to lean on. He’s the first person you call when you need help moving for the millionth time, and he, good man that he is, turns up with beer and willing hands as soon as he’s available. If he grumbles about your proclivity for changing apartments so often you know it comes from a place of concerned affection. If anything, he’s pleased you’re closer to his bachelor pad now, negating the need to drive across town twice on game nights. God forbid you ride a bus for twenty-five minutes when he could deliver you to your doorstep in fifteen. He's retired from the Army, and still takes safety a little too seriously for your tastes. You indulge him though, because who actively chooses the bus when other, more pleasant options are available?
When he asks you to dinner, you agree without even blinking. You reason there must be a rugby game on or something he wants to see. You don’t even ask where to meet him, assuming, correctly, that he will pick you up. So, you are caught off guard when he turns up in your entrance way wearing a button-down shirt, suit jacket and dress pants. He too, is caught off guard. You look down at your outfit in unison. Bootcut jeans, well-worn Blundstone boots and a ratty but beloved faded t-shirt that cheerfully proclaims “IDAHO? No, you da ho” across the chest in cursive script. 
“Uh… what are you wearing?” He asks, cautiously.
“Me? What are YOU wearing?” Totally confused now, you can’t help but feel a little saucy about being put on your back foot.
“I asked you to dinner, didn’t I?”
John’s accent gets stronger when he’s caught up in strong emotions. That really should have been your first clue. But this is John. John. 
“Yeah, why are you all dressed up for beers? What game is on tonight anyways?” 
You throw him a look like he’s gone slow on the uptake as you reach for your coat. When you turn to look at him with your purse strap slung over your shoulder, he’s looking as confused as you feel. 
“Game? Love, who said anything about beers?”
“Wait, we aren’t going for beers?” Disappointment creeps into your voice and you can see you have managed to flummox the normally unflappable John. 
“Bleedin’ Jesus, I mean, we can have beers if ye want, sure. I just uh…” 
He lets the sentence hang, clearly uncertain.  
“You what?” You prompt, vaguely concerned at his out of character behaviour. 
“I made reservations at Stella del Mare.” He admits in a rush.
“You did what? This isn’t… beers? Is this… are we on a date?” The slow realization finally takes hold and a spiral of panic begins to descend through your body. “They won’t let me in like this!”
“Uh, no. No. They sure won’t.”
He agrees easily with the second half of your statement while staring at your chest and dodging the first. You narrow your eyes at him. This isn’t your first rodeo with John’s evasiveness. 
“How much time do I have?”
“Including travel time, or…?”
“John. If this is how you start all your first dates, I can see why you don’t have many second ones.”
“’Bout 15 minutes love.”
He answers seriously, properly chastised. 
You whip your purse over your head and slap it against his wide chest, catching him off guard. He holds it in place while you sling your coat off and dash upstairs again. 
He’s still in the same position when you return back down the steps, having swapped jeans for a black skirt and your (hilarious but wildly) inappropriate t-shirt for a silk, V-neck emerald blouse with cap sleeves. You’ve pulled your hair back into a simple bun and slicked on a light layer of neutral makeup and a deep red lip. John’s eyebrows climb as he catches a glimpse of you but he waits until you’re picking up your coat again before he speaks. 
“Listen, you look beautiful. I – “
“Can it, I’m still annoyed at you for the moment.” 
You take the purse out of his hands and slide the strap over your shoulder, smacking his big bicep playfully as you push him out the door and into the night. You resolve to question him thoroughly about his poor communication skills at dinner as you lock up. Wasn’t he in charge of people in the army? Christ. 
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disturbia-2024 · 2 months
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niqhtlord01 · 1 month
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Humans are weird: What use is honor in war?
( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)
*Clouds of ash part to reveal burnt out husks of barracks complexes, shatter communication towers, and looming over all of it was the crumbling structure of the once proud command center itself.*
*Setting down in front of the command building a small squad of human soldiers approach and form a cordon to either side of the lowering boarding ramp.*
*General Marius Fimble slowly walks down the ramp flanked by a pair of black clad honor guard. His robotic left foot slamming against the ramp with a resounding cannon like echo until he reaches the bottom*
Colonel: *Salutes* General.
Marius: *Returns salute lazily while scanning surroundings* Colonel.
Colonel: You can relax sir; we’ve cleared the area of all resistance.
Marius: Complacency breeds overconfidence; never forget that.
Colonel: Sir!
Marius: Do you have him?
Colonel: We are keeping him in the main building to prevent escape.
Marius: *Confused* Have they made attempts?
Colonel: First one he killed three and injured twelve.
Marius: First?
Colonel: Second he killed seven and injured six, then again three hours later with eight injured.
Marius: He’s tried escaping three times already?
Colonel: Oh no.
Colonel: Those were all within the first seven hours of capture; we’re on twenty seven attempts by now.
Marius: *Grunts*
Marius: Let’s get this over with then before he kills any more of my men.
*Colonel escorts the general and his guards inside the command center. Descending three flights of stairs the group comes to an armored door guarded by twenty soldiers and an auto turret pointed at the doorframe*
Marius: Open it.
*The armored door slowly creeks open as all twenty guards take aim at the opening. The auto turret slowly begins spinning its turrets in preparation to fire as the general walks by.*
Marius: *Waves his bodyguards* Wait here.
Colonel: I would not recommend that, sir.
Marius: *Walks past Colonel and into the room* Noted.
*The door slams behind Marius as he takes in the surroundings. A single light hangs from the ceiling illuminating a lone figure secured firmly to the ground my numerous heavy chains*
Marius: Commandant Fring, we meet at last.
Fring: *Spits out glob of purple blood at Marius’s feet*
Marius: *Steps over it without acknowledging it*
Marius: I had heard tales of the great Grung military back in my academy days and I must say after fighting you, I am deeply underwhelmed.
Fring: *Low growl*
Marius: *Circling the room* Over a thousand years of military prowess and I took you apart in less than a day.
Fring: YOU STRUCK WITHOUT HONOR!
*Fring lunges at Marius who doesn’t flinch. The chains straining under the sudden pressure with Fring just out of reach of Marius’s throat*
*Marius watches in silence as Fring continues for several minutes before relenting*
Marius: I never understood that.
Fring: What?
Marius: Honor.
Fring: You do not understand it because you have never held it.
Fring: You preach of taking down our military when you attacked like cowards and thieves in the dead of night! Slaughtering my warriors while they slept rather than dying by their hands on the field of battle!
Marius: The purpose of war is to win.
Marius: Everything else takes a back seat to that one concept; because if you don’t win nothing you were fighting for matters.
Fring: And yet it is the manner of how you fight that defines who you are.
Fring: And you are a coward!
Marius: So you justify your incompetence by claiming I am a coward?
Fring: You dare!?!
Marius: You were unprepared for an attack despite declaring war on my people. They should have been mustering for war and already onboard troop ships heading out of system; instead they were…how did you put it? Ah yes, they were sleeping.
Marius: *Leans in close to Fring who lunges again only to be grabbed by the general’s hand*
*The general’s grip is iron and Fring claws at it as he gasps for air. There is no emotion behind the eyes of the human leader as he watches his foe*
Marius: Honor, is a novelty for those who can afford it. A justification to fight in a manner of combat they prefer regardless of how many souls die by the outdated ideal that is “Honor”. I fight to win wars, and though my victories seem beneath you I ensure that my men, my soldiers, will return home safe and sound because I fought using my head and not my heart.
*Marius let’s go of Fring who collapses to the ground*
Marius: *Looks down at Fring* You fought with your heart and you lost five field army’s worth of soldiers in a single night.
Fring: Do you keep me alive just to mock me? End me then, for I will hear none of this.
Marius: *Chuckles* I’m sure I had a reason for keeping you alive, but seeing you now I can’t for the life of me wonder why I thought it was worth the effort.
Marius: *bangs on door and the door opens*
Marius: *motions to the soldiers* kill him.
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