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#despite knowing it's not something I'll ever have
Note
Heya!!
So I'm a little obsessed with the secret relationship trope... i was wondering if you could do an Astarion x reader secret relationship but maybe during a fight, reader dies and has to be revivified? And Astarion freaks out, like he goes semiferal and histerical?
Maybe it could be during the fight with his siblings at camp so now Cazador knows he has someone he holds dear (even if Astarion doesn't want to admit it yet) which is what they were trying to avoid?
Thank you so much!!!!
🗒 ꒰⸝⸝₊ All I Want ❛ ✧
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Featuring: Astarion x Reader
Not proofread!
# Notes: I'm not too good with drabbles but I rly like this idea so I decided to try! also no use of "y/n" because I'll be honest I'm not a fan of it lmao
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It was his idea to keep the relationship a secret.
He knew how that sounded — like he was ashamed of his partner, like he didn't want anyone to know for the sake of his reputation. That wasn't true, and he assured them of it. It was simply a precaution, something to protect them both. Now that they arrived at Baldur's Gate and are closer to Cazador than ever, he couldn't take any chances. Not when it came to them, at least.
He wasn't used to this — caring about someone other than himself. It was always about his survival, but now he had someone else to worry about. Someone whose life was worth a lot more than his own. Someone he couldn't afford to lose.
So, he kept it a secret. It wasn't exactly easy to go about their day pretending to be nothing more than companions, friends at most. Ever since they got together, he realized just how starved he was for any kind of attention, any kind of affection. Having to refrain from touching them too much or being his usual, flirty self hasn't been a simple feat. But he knew how important it was that they kept things under wraps.
His feet were killing him after a long day of adventuring, from Wyrm's Crossing all the way to the Lower City. At least they managed to avoid some confrontation for today, so he had one less thing to complain about. They got settled in an inn and he managed to sneak out for a few seconds with his partner to at least get a good night's kiss. He wanted more, but knew that would have to suffice.
The others had already fallen asleep, but he remained tossing and turning. Something felt off. He wasn't sure what, but his nerves were on end, like his fight or flight response had picked up on something he himself hadn't yet. Perhaps that was for the best, as it allowed him to notice the sound of footsteps early enough to stand up and grab a dagger. His hand shook slightly, wrapped around the handle of the weapon as two familiar faces walked in. He felt sick. He knew what they were here to do.
"Get the hells away from me!" It wasn't quite a yell, but definitely loud enough to wake the others. He instinctively took a few steps back, trying to maintain a distance far enough to deceive his brain into believing that he was somewhat safe. "Peace, brother. We're here to take you home." Aurelia uttered somewhat gently, but it almost made him puke. Brother. Home. Just the notion of it made him dizzy with disgust. The Szarr Palace wasn't his home, and these goons were not his family — he was tired of playing along with this fucked up game of pretend.
It didn't take long for a fight to break out, despite his attempts at deception. He should've known Cazador wouldn't let him off easy. Karlach was the first to react, letting out a guttural scream of rage as she charged at Violet. The axe cut through flesh before the spawn could realize what was happening, getting stuck where it met bone. She screamed, but was soon silenced by another blow. While it was supposed to be lethal, she simply vanished into a cloud of black smoke instead of dropping dead on the ground.
Leon was next, aiming for the person who was closest to where he stood which, to Astarion's despair, happened to be his darling. The spawn's claws slashed their skin open, blood splattering on the floor as they yelped in pain. Astarion didn't think — he simply acted, pouncing on Leon only to drive his dagger through his heart one, two, three times, until he too vanished into thin air. He snapped his head back in their direction just in time to see Yousen sneaking up, grabbing them from behind and sinking his teeth into their neck. The scream, the way their eyes squeezed shut in agony and their hands clawed against the spawn holding them still was enough to make Astarion see red.
He hardly remembered moving. But he did remember the screams. Not from his darling, but from his brother, as he drove the dagger into the side of his neck and twisted it. He looked back at his lover again, but the dark cloud from Yousen obscured his vision. He didn't hear screaming anymore. Only his ears ringing slightly and the sound of laboured breathing from his companions.
When he could finally see again, he almost wished he couldn't. That'd be better than the sight of his beloved's body sprawled out on the floor atop a pool of blood, their empty, cold eyes gazing into his soul. He rushed to their side despite his shaking legs, stumbling on his way there until he fell to his knees beside them. He raised their head by the back of their neck, resting it on top of his thigh. He hardly realized he was hyperventilating, hands shaking violently as he cradled one of their cheeks in his palm. "No, no... You can't die. Wake up, damn it!" He choked out, his voice rising from a whisper full of disbelief to a screech of the utmost despair.
Karlach too rushed to their side, fumbling with her bag with quivering hands. "H-Hold on, soldier, I think..." She stuttered out nervously before cutting herself off as she pulled a scroll of revivify from the bag. She knelt next to the two and placed the parchment atop the corpse's chest. It glowed a bright white light, seemingly seeping into their skin. There was a deafening silence for a few seconds when suddenly, they woke up with a loud gasp, eyes widening as life was brought back into their being.
The pale elf didn't waste a second before pulling them into a hug, not minding the blood staining his clothes. He hid his face in the crook of their neck, only a small sob and whisper being heard from him. "Oh, thank the gods... Please, please never do that again..." He choked out before pulling away from the embrace, cupping their cheek and pressing his lips against theirs. He never felt that before. That immense sense of hopelessness, agony and grief. Not to this level, not of this kind — and he'd make sure he never felt it again.
However, as he pulled away from the kiss, he saw something in the distance. Aurelia, bleeding out on the ground, watching them seconds before she too vanished into the darkness. If he still had a heart, it would have skipped a beat out of sheer terror alone. Cazador knew. He knew about his spawn's newfound love. And Astarion would have to be a fool not to expect his master to take advantage of that fact.
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joelmillerisapunk · 19 hours
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Dirty Daddy
Dbf/daddy!Joel x f!reader
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Masterlist
Wordcount: 2,489
Summary: Congratulations, you've just earned yourself a daddy, albeit not for being a good girl.
Warnings: 18+, unprotected p in v, light consensual choking, light slapping, oral receiving m!&f!, fingering, implied age gap, mentions of the names 'slut, brat, babygirl, sweetheart, good girl, and daddy', Joel's all greasy and sweaty.
Notes: it was this picture that inspired this along with part of a request I received that I'm writing a different daddy!fic for. Tysm @saradika-graphics for the divider
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Joel groans as he tightens a bolt on his truck, sweat drips down his forehead and mixes with the dirt and grease that cover his face and hands. He's been working on this truck for hours, ever since it broke down on him during a job, his last job of the day. He could be home relaxing. Instead, he's here. Luckily for him, his buddy, your dad offered him the use of his garage to work on it, and Joel gladly accepted. It wasn't often that he got the chance to work on his baby, and he wasn't going to let a little thing like a broken engine get in his way.
But as he stands up and stretches his aching back, he can't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. It isn't just the truck that’s been giving him trouble - it’s you, who's been teasing him mercilessly since he arrived. Wearing those skimpy clothes, that short fucking skirt, that leaves little to the imagination, bending over in front of him and "accidentally" brushing up against him as you walk by. Joel's been trying to ignore you, but it's getting harder and harder to do so.
As if on cue, you walk into the garage with a smirk on your face. "Hey Joel, need any help?" You ask, leaning over the open hood, letting your cleavage do most of the talking.
Joel grits his teeth as he looks up straight at your breasts and then quickly back down to the engine. "No, I got it.” he says as he looks up once more only to see you pouting, but Joel can see the spark in your eye. You're enjoying this, you fucking minx.
"Come on, Joel. I'm just trying to help." You reach up to adjust yourself on the hood of the truck, giving him a clearer view of your breasts that are now pretty much popping out of your top. You catch his gaze and smirk, knowing exactly what you're doing to him. You hop down and start touching his arm, “cmon, I can help, I'll hold the flashlight or something.”
Joel snaps, dropping the tool he's holding, and pushes you roughly against the nearest free wall. His grip is tight around your arms despite being all greased up from his truck. "I know what you're doin'," he growls, "And it ain't gonna work."
You can see the fire in his eyes, and you know you've pushed him too far. But instead of backing down, you challenge him. "What are you gonna do about it?"
Joel's eyes narrow, and you can see the tension building in his muscles. "I'm warnin’ you," he says, his voice gets deeper and quieter. "Stop, or you're gonna get a lot more than you bargained for."
"Is that a promise?" you ask.
Joel's eyes go dark, and he grabs your face roughly, his dirty fingers grasping into the hollows of your cheeks, pulling you close, leaving his musky, grimy scent on you. "You have no idea what you're gettin’ yourself into, do ya?” Joel's grip on your face tightens as he leans in closer, his breath hot on your face. "You think you're being clever, huh? Lemme tell ya something, sweetheart. You're playin with fire, and you're gonna get burned."
You can feel the heat radiating off of Joel's body, and you know he's serious. But instead of being afraid, you're turned on. You've never seen this side of Joel before, and you can't help but feel yourself getting wet.
Without warning, Joel grabs you by the waist and pins you harder against the wall as he grinds himself against you, his hardness pressing into your core. "This whatcha want babygirl?" His lips brush against your ear. "You've been teasin' me all day, I think it's my turn to have a little fun now."
You moan as Joel's hands roam over your body, roughly groping your breasts and ass, leaving dark stains across your clothes. You can feel his cock straining against his pants, and you can't wait to feel him inside of you.
"Please," you whimper, "I need it."
Joel smirks as he pulls away from you. "Beggin already?" He says, 'That ain’t like you."
He reaches down and unzips his pants, pulling out his long, hard cock and starts to stroke it. "On your knees," he commands.
You don't hesitate, sinking to your knees in front of him. You take his cock in your hand, stroking it gently as you look up at him with wide, pleading eyes. Joel's eyes darken as he grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling your head towards his cock. "Open wide, and don't fuckin’ bite."
You comply, opening your mouth wide as Joel slides his cock inside. You moan as you feel him hit the back of your throat, your tongue swirling around his shaft as you suck him off.
Joel groans as he fucks your mouth, his hips thrusting forward as he pounds into the very back of your throat. You can feel his cock swelling inside of you, every vein hitting your tongue.
"Such a good little slut, suckin my cock like a pro."
You moan around his cock, your pussy getting wetter with every thrust.
"M’gonna come baby, and you're gonna swallow every last drop."
You nod eagerly, your mouth still wrapped around his cock. Joel groans as he explodes inside of you, his hot seed filling your mouth as you swallow every last drop just like he said. He pulls out, his cock still hard as he looks down at you with a satisfied smirk. "Good girl, you earned that."
Joel takes a moment to catch his breath before he walks over and starts to clear off the workbench. He pushes aside tools and spare parts, making enough space for you. Once he's satisfied, he turns to you with a stern look in his eyes. "Get up here," he commands, patting the now-clear space on the workbench.
You don't hesitate, hopping up onto the bench and spreading your legs wide for him. Joel steps between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips as he pulls you closer to the edge. "You've been a brat all day, teasin' me and temptin me," his fingers dig into your skin.
Joel's gaze is intense as he looks at you. His eyes are filled with desire and a hint of something darker. He leans in closer, his breath is hot on your skin as he starts to kiss a trail down your body, his lips leave a burning sensation in their wake.
His hands roam over your body, roughly groping anything he can as he continues to kiss and nip at your skin. You can feel his facial hair scratching against your sensitive flesh, and it sends shivers down your spine.
When he reaches your thighs, Joel smirks and spreads your legs wider, exposing your wet and aching core to his gaze and no panties - you drive him crazy. "You've been teasin' me all day, s’only fair. I get to taste what I've been missin.” He looks up at you, his eyes filled with lust as he leans in closer, his breath hot on your pussy. Without warning, Joel starts to lick and suck at your clit, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bundle of nerves as he teases you. You moan loudly, your hips bucking up towards his mouth as you try to get closer to him.
Joel's fingers dig into your hips, holding you in place as his tongue delves deeper, exploring every inch of your pussy, sucking and licks at your wetness. Lapping it up like a thirsty dog. He continues to feast on your pussy, his tongue exploring every inch of your wetness as you moan and writhe beneath him. Just as you feel yourself getting close to the edge, Joel pulls away, leaving you wanting and needy.
"Uh-uh I ain't done with ya."
You whimper in frustration, and your hips buck up towards him as you try to get him to continue. But Joel is in control, and he's not going to let you come that easily. He stands up and looks down at you. You can see the hardness of his cock that's been tucked back into his jeans, and you know he's just as turned on as you are.
Joel reaches down and helps you off the workbench, his grip on you is firm as he leads you towards the door of the garage. "We're gonna finish this in your bedroom.”
Your body is still tingling with desire as you follow him out of the garage and towards your house.
As you reach the door of your house, Joel turns to you with a serious look in his eyes. "We gotta be quiet, go make sure the coast is clear.”
You quickly and quietly make your way through the house, checking each room to make sure no one is around. When you reach your father's office, you see that he's deeply engrossed in his work, completely unaware of what's happening just a few feet away.
You give Joel a quick nod, signaling that the coast is clear. Joel grabs your hand and leads you up the stairs to your bedroom, his grip firm, and reassuring. When you reach your bedroom, Joel pushes you inside and closes the door behind you, locking it to ensure that no one will interrupt you.
Joel looks around your bedroom, his eyes taking in the familiar surroundings. He turns to you, "Take off your clothes," he commands.
You hesitate for a moment, your hands hovering over your shirt. But the look in Joel's eyes tells you that he's not in the mood for games. As you slip out of your shirt, Joel's eyes rake over your body, taking in the lacy bra that barely covers your breasts.
"Keep goin,"
As you slip out of your jeans, Joel's eyes follow the movement, taking in the curve of your hips and the softness of your thighs.
"Take it all off baby," he commands.
You comply, slipping out of your bra and panties, leaving you completely naked in front of him.
Joel undresses himself, his movements quick and efficient. He pulls off his shirt, revealing the hard muscles of his chest and arms. His jeans follow, revealing the long and hard cock that's been tucked away, waiting so patiently for you.
You can't help but stare as Joel undresses, your eyes taking in the dirt and grease that cover his body. He's been working on his truck all day, and the evidence is clear on his skin.
"Like whatcha see, babygirl?"
You nod, unable to speak as you take in the sight of him. Joel steps closer to you, his hands reaching out to touch your body. His fingers leave dark stains across your skin, the evidence of his work still present.
He lays you down on the bed, and his body hovers over yours. His hands roam over your body. His touch is rough, but there's a tenderness to it that drives you crazy.
He leans down to kiss you, his lips rough against yours. His tongue delves into your mouth, exploring every inch as he tastes you. You can taste yourself on his lips, a reminder of what he's done to you.
Joel's hand moves between your legs, his fingers exploring your throbbing clit. He teases you, his fingers circling your clit but never quite touching it. You moan into his mouth, your hips bucking up towards his hand.
"Please, Joel," you beg, "I need to come."
But Joel is relentless, continuing to tease you just like you did to him, as he watches you squirm beneath him. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your orgasm building deep inside of you.
“Joel,” you whine, “don't be an asshole, let me come.”
Joel chuckles and gives you a light but sobering smack to the cheek. “You don't get to be a little brat and get your way - Beg for it.”
"Fuck you-," you whimper, your voice trembling with need. "Please daddy.”
Joel's eyes blaze as he hears you call him Daddy. He increases the pressure on your clit, his fingers moving faster and harder as he brings you closer to the edge again, he can feel it. "You like that, babygirl?" his breath is hot as he leans close to your ear. "You like it when Daddy teases you?”
“Mmm, yes daddy yes. Feels s-so good.”
Joel can't hold back any longer. He positions himself between your legs, his cock pressing against your wet and aching core. He looks down at you, his eyes filled with lust and something darker. He growls as he thrusts his hips forward, burying himself deep inside of you.
You moan loudly as you feel him fill you up, your pussy stretching to accommodate his ever growing, ever hardening size. Joel starts to move, his hips thrusting forward as he pounds into you. Each thrust is harder than the last, leaving you breathless and wanting more.
Joel's hands grip your hips, holding you in place as he fucks you. His fingers dig into your skin. You can feel his cock swelling inside of you, every vein hitting your sensitive flesh.
"You like it when Daddy fucks ya like the dirty little brat you are?"
You moan in response, your hips buck up to meet his thrusts. You can feel your orgasm building deep inside of you. “Want you to choke me daddy, please.”
Joel doesn't hesitate, he pulls out of you and flips you onto your stomach. He grabs your hair, pulling your head back as he wraps his other hand around your throat, cutting off your airway just enough to make you feel lightheaded.
You moan as you feel his cock press against your entrance once again. He thrusts forward, filling you up completely. He starts to fuck you hard and fast, his hips slapping against your ass as he pounds into you.
You can feel your orgasm building once again, your body tensing up as you get closer and closer to the edge. "Not yet, babygirl, fuck - wanna come with ya.” Joel increases his pace. His thrusts become erratic as he feels your pussy clenching around his cock, your orgasm just on the edge.
"Come for me, baby," Joel commands.
Your moans are muffled and strained as you feel yourself fall over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you like a wave. You can feel your pussy clenching around Joel's cock, milking him for all he's worth.
Joel groans as he feels you come, his hips thrusting forward as he empties himself inside of you. He collapses beside you, his body spent and satisfied.
As he catches his breath, Joel looks at you with a satisfied smirk. "Next time you pull that shit, babygirl, I ain't gonna letcha come."
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sugojosgf · 2 days
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nanami buys you coffee
fluff + pre (established relationship) + slight age gap
berri: based on these headcanons, i'll probably write each one individually if i have time 😊🩷
being an intern is ... hard. the pay is barely anything, the work load makes death look appealing and the managers ,,,, well, they hate you. at least they act like they do.
after a long morning of shadow work and running after your manager to print individual copies of meeting documents, you are sick. all you want to do is go home and pass out for the rest of the day.
you didn't have time for breakfast and with all the running around, not enough for even a pick-me-up drink. it's exhausting and you hate it,,, but you need this stupid internship.
after a quick sob session in the restroom, you come back to throw yourself on a spinning chair that you are convinced is going to be the root cause of your premature back pain.
you are busy muttering curses under your breath when you hear someone clearing their throat.
you turn your chair to see fucking nanami kento, a senior manager in the company and your work crush.
he is so cool, you've seen him diffuse the most complex situations in seconds and he's always so humble about it. never too proud despite his insane skill level.
"... everything good?" he asks, voice deep enough to make your body react on its own. you take a good thirty seconds to realise that he's talking to you.
eyes wide and lips parted, you answer.
"y-yes sir! of course, do you need me to print any documents?" you ask, palms sweating.
and he laughs.
he fucking laughs and it is the best thing you've ever heard. it's low and gritty but god he sounds so good laughing.
"sir? nanami is more than enough." he then looks around awkwardly before handing you something. you finally notice the coffee cup in his hand.
"huh?" "it's for you."
"oh." you giggle. you take a sip and it's perfect.
the temperature is not too hot, the coffee is not too sweet and it's the right ratio of whipped cream to milk. you don't know what he ordered but you do know that you can't go back to drinking normal coffee.
"uhm- thank you!!" you swallow, "this is perfect! but is there like an employee event today?" you still don't know why he got you the coffee.
"oh,," he chuckles, "no, i just wanted to see you smile."
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soamericn · 10 hours
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𝜗𝜚 𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐓𝐋𝐄
🐰ྀི₊˚⊹ ‘ truth, dare, spin bottles you know how to ball, i know aristotle. ‘
𝜗𝜚… previous chapter - next chapter
𝜗𝜚… summary , ( f!verstappen!y/n x lando norris ) y/n is the younger sister of world champion max verstappen and an author known for her young adult romance novels despite never being in a relationship herself. lando norris is a formula one driver and is secretly an old friend and a fan of her books since 2020.
𝜗𝜚… faceclaim , brooke flecca
𝜗𝜚… triggers , none I don't think (maybe some cursing)
𝜗𝜚… authors note , thank you so much for 100 followers!! new driver series coming out soon based on an album ( I'll be making a fic for a diff driver based on each song )
🐰ྀི₊˚⊹ masterlist
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the drive there had been relatively calm. it wasn’t awkward though, y/n and lando had known each other for years, despite not talking for the past two . the conversation was laced with nostalgia as they reminisced on his rookie year, when she went to every race and he’d been convinced she was his “lucky charm”
the air outside was warm with a flowy cool breeze, australian autumns were always nice and provided a small comfort to the girl who’d appreciated the weather. 
the club they’d gone to, however, was packed and it felt suffocating. y/n was never the one for clubs, she liked people, she liked dancing and music. but putting them together with a mix of alcohol and drugs never was something she enjoyed. (her brother on the other hand was the opposite)
she’d hung back near the bar slowly sipping on a sprite. she never drank alcohol; it was a personal preference, she hated the feeling of being out of control. lando had picked up drinking since the last time they’d saw each other, he was partying his little heart out with their friends now. 
y/n hung back watching him with a sorta fondness in her eyes, the scene was beautiful to her, romanticizing the true happiness he was experiencing to ignore how claustrophobic she was feeling. and how she’d been picking at the skin around her nails and the pit in her stomach. 
lando seemed to almost hear her cry for help, as he left the dance floor and walked over to her. she assumed to order another drink since he’d only had one. “you alright?”
y/n nodded but her mouth spoke differently, forever honest. “I feel like i‘m suffocating a bit, if i’m honest.” she admitted cringing as soon as she said it.
lando understood, but she knew he would. he helped out his hand, “then shall we?”
she furrowed an eyebrow and with pursed lips her eyes flicked up and down to his hand and then back to him. “shall we what?”
“bail.” 
“you were having fun, I'm a grown woman. if I wanna leave, I will.” y/n reassured guilt filling up her throat.
lando shook his head with a small grin that he always seemed to adorn. “oh c’mon I invited you, I'm here to spend time with you anyway.”
hesitantly the dutch girl took his hand and they hurried out of the bar, met with fresh air at last and a chill of the night. it felt a bit silly but y/n thought about writing a book in this moment, she thought about how she’d described the scene, how the two old friends reconnecting would turn into something more. 
she knew it was only a fantasy, all her books were. picturesque moments painted carefully by her hands, nothing that’d happen in real life. especially to her. she’d been confident in herself but she’d come to terms on how unsuccessful her love life had been. she was twenty-three and hadn’t dated a single person, not one out of the eight billion people on this earth.
so she’d lost hope. lando shouldn’t give her hope, she knew no one would ever follow through with it. she had enough self respect to stop trying to chase false dreams. 
they’d been walking down the street of melbourne for a few minutes now in a comfortable silence though she’d been surprised lando managed to keep his mouth shut this long. the sky was clear, the stars brighter than she’d seen in a while, the streets were practically empty and the air smelt of saltwater. 
“where are you taking me?” y/n asked realizing they’d passed lando’s car a couple minutes back. 
lando looked at her, “do you not trust me?” 
she pretended to think about it for a moment before meeting his gaze which remained on her. “haven't seen you in two years, maybe you've changed.”
he really had. he’d changed so much but somehow not at all, “you definitely have.” lando seemed to backtrack in his mind as his words came out as an insult. “in a good way I mean, I’ve just missed you.”
he missed her. maybe it’d been her chronic loneliness talking but she hadn’t heard those words from anyone in years. she looked down at her feet, a small smile growing on her face. “I missed you too, a lot.” 
“why didn’t you call or text, I swear I would’ve thought you died if not for your instagram.” lando wasn’t mad or at least he didn’t sound it, still y/n was embarrassed there was no reason for her to fall off the face of earth like she did, maybe she was just destined to be lonely and needed to prove she could do it. maybe that didn’t need two years to prove, she’d been proving it for twenty-two years.
“I’m not mad, I’m just happy to see my idol again.” he bumped into her shoulder with a smirk.
y/n giggled looking at him unconvinced. “your idol?” 
lando nodded, “I'm your biggest fan, don't you know?”  
“mhm of course I knew, reading august in two days must’ve been a new record.” the day lando commented on her instagram post saying he’d pre-ordered her book, she’d gone to her records of past books. he’d bought every book she’d ever read. every single one. even the special edition covers she’d published. 
never had anyone done a gesture like that for her. sure it might’ve been just because he’d like to read, but y/n wanted to live in a bliss where he did it for her.
watching the view change in front of her as they continued down the street she recognized where they’d been walking to. the beach. once they’d reached the place where the concrete ended and sand started. they both took off their shoes, lando grabbed hers holding them for her. 
the sand was soft to the touch, the beach was empty now and spanned for miles. waves crashed down onto the sand in a nice pattern of noise. it was pitch black except the moon which provided a nice soft light into the water far out. the breeze felt stronger here, y/n crossed her arms struggling to provide warmth to her bare arms.
the pair had taken a seat on the slightly wet part of the sand closer to the water. “it’s beautiful out here.” she commented. “like some shit you’d see in a rom-com.” a genre she knew too much about. 
“is this the part where I tell you you’re the only girl I’ve taken here?” lando said looking at her she could hear the smirk in his voice. 
y/n let out a laugh. “is this the part where I act surprised because you’re known for being such a ‘player’?” 
“I’ll do the whole yawn and arm over shoulder thing if you want, make this really realistic.” lando took off his black hoodie revealing a matching black t-shirt underneath. “here by the way.” 
he handed her the hoodie, “oh I’m fine.” she very clearly was not. she wanted to tell him to stop her some kind of hope, to not make her fall for him as she was now. 
“you so are not, you’re shivering and it’s freaking me out.” y/n wasn’t sure if she should’ve said thank you or been offended by ‘freaking him out’. she took the hoodie, it was soft fabric and smelt of his cologne, which smelt expensive. 
she put the hoodie on, relieved by the warmth she suddenly felt. after a while of chatting and laughing about stupid things like they used to, y/n comfortably rested her head on his shoulder, eyes feeling the need to shut but they wouldn’t like she wanted to be conscious for every moment of this, knowing she’d miss his comfort as soon as it was gone. 
“do you have to wake up for your flight early tomorrow.” he asked, his voice soft and he cautiously started to run his fingers through her hair, until she’d relaxed more and he was more confident with his innocent touches.
“mhm.” she mumbled. 
he carefully brushed the few knots in her hair, “should I take you home then it's getting late.” 
everything in her body was telling her to stay no, to stay there, she never wanted to leave. but her mind spoke differently, she had a book signing tomorrow she couldn’t miss her flight nor could she be too tired. she replied again, more disappointed than before, “yeah probably.”
𝜗𝜚˖ ࣪₊˚ yourusername posted
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yourusername last night in aus was well spent 🫶
tagged | @landonorris
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user34 OH the lando & y/n girlies are screaming rn
yourbestfriend oh my god you finally went outside 🤯
landonorris gotta make sure she gets some vitamin c every once in awhile
user54 i just know twt is going crazy
landonorris hope to see you in japan 🙏🫣
yourusername we’ll see 🤭
maxverstappen as a redbull fan I hope
user89 we are all living for your active era rn
user21 all her f1 posts having lando in them is making me cry they’re everything to me
user54 I’m getting 2019 lando y/n flashbacks
your bsf 🫶 sent you a text!
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𝜗𝜚 ˖ ࣪₊˚ yourusername posted a story
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landonorris replied to your story
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𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ ⊹ landonorris posted
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landonorris another race done onto japan we go 😉 ( featuring special guest my celebrity crush )
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yourusername omg I love when I see my fan pages in the wild 🤭
landonorris ok babe don’t push it 🥰
user53 babe?!!!
user76 they’re so in love it hurts
user32 getting his first podium of the season while she’s there she really is his lucky charm
user98 HIS LUCKY CHARM 😭😭
mclaren y/n should come to more races best race result so far nice job!
user43 even mclaren loves them 🙏
user58 their actually my faves
carlossainz I think I’m your idol actually 🤔
landonorris whatever helps you sleep at night
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𝜗𝜚… tags , @whitcferrari @cedarbcws @c-losur3 @lclitaa @forurforeverwinter @stinkyjax @littlexscarletxwitch @spideybv28 @ijustgomessitupx
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wosoluver · 1 day
Text
Falling asleep in paradise.
TW: Smut, minors DNI
Lena x reader
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"I have to go schatz, it's a work get together, and I need to earn some points with my boss."
"You wouldn't have to if you you weren't always late to work."
"Really? And whose fault is that?"
"Not mine! You're the one who is sexy in the mornings. And I don't like him. Always trying to hit on you."
"Well, he can keep trying, he's never going to land anything so."
He flirted with you quite a lot, despite knowing it was inappropriate and that you were in a relationship.
You only ignored him, he was delusional if he thought you would ever give him a chance.
You went to the bathroom after getting dressed, to do your make up and hair. Lena wouldn't leave your side. Standing in the doorway, watching you.
As you were adding the last touches, pouting your lips at the mirror as you retouched you lipstick, she couldn't stop herself.
"Why are you getting so dressed up?" pouting her lips, pulling you close.
You laughed at your girlfriend, her jealousy could get a bit much sometimes, but you didn't mind, actually you found it attractive.
"Baby, I always dress like this."
"Yes, but today I won't be there if you need me. I love you liebling." whispering lovingly this time.
"Love you too, more than anything."
Her hands on your hips as she kissed your neck, trying to convince you to get in bed with her.
"I'm serious. I'll be back before you know it."
You untangled yourself before she succeeded, walking towards the front door, getting your bag and keys, and her trailing behind you.
"Bye love, no need to wait up on me." teasing her. Knowing exactly what you were doing.
"And you. Come straight home. To me." she said in a firm tone that made you instantly wet.
But you didn't give in.
Giving her a kiss you walked out the door.
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"Hello, girl you look so good tonight!" - said your friend and coworker as you walked to the table.
"She always looks good." and there he was, before you had even sat down.
"Hey guys. Have you ordered anything yet?"
You greeted them as you sat in between your favorite coworkers.
Some had, some hadn't and trying to rizz you up, your boss had offered to pay for the round. Which annoyed the ones who were already having their drinks.
The night carried on fine, except you couldn't get your mind off her. You had been talking for hours. But by now you only wanted to go home, you wanted Lena.
"So Y/N, do you still have a boyfriend?"
"A girlfriend and yes. Actually I should probably get going, home to her."
He let out an annoyed sight as you got up to say goodbye to everyone.
Getting in the car and taking a deep breath, it wouldn't be long now.
You were probably a little over the speed limit on the road. But you were impatient.
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As you came in, you noticed she was still up, sitting on the couch, watching something on the tv.
"Thought you weren't coming home anymore." - once again, talking in that low tone.
You walked over to her, staring down at how good she looked. She aways did. Only wearing a sports bra and shorts. You couldn't tear your eyes away from her thighs. They were almost an obsession of yours.
Getting your shoes off, she had picked up on what was going on.
"Maybe I shouldn't have." - You matched her energy, as she pulled you down to her. Setting you down, on her right thigh. One leg in each side of it.
"So horny and I haven't even said much." - she traced your lips with her thumb.
"You didn't have to, after basically saying 'come straight home so I can fuck you'."
"I was only trying to convince you to stay. I'm not sure if the offer is still up." - she whispered in your ear, as she rocked you against her leg slowly. And a moan escaped your lips.
"Lena, please."
She undressed you little by little. Enjoying the feeling of your wetness on her thigh. Letting out delicious groans.
Putting her hands on your hips as she guided you, back and forth, you made a mess, throwing your head back.
By now you were grinding hard against her. One of her hands was in your hair, her lips going from you neck to your lips, kissing, biting down your lip as you moaned out her name.
"That’s it, love. Fuck-" she says while flexing her muscles under you.
As your pace starts faltering, she moves you to straddle now both of her legs, to give you more support, as she brought her hand down between your legs, rubbing your clit and adding in two fingers, reaching for your g-spot, so she could get you to finish.
"Schatz I-"
"I know, I'm here, you can let go." she whispered softly as she left a kiss on your temple.
Finally cumming on top of her, relaxing your body and nuzzling your head on her neck, as she carried you to bed.
She got up and went to the bathroom, only to come back with a damp towel.
But you pouted, hissing at the contact, you were sensitive and the towel being somewhat cold didn't help.
"I'll be quick liebling."
And not a minute later you were already sound asleep. She pulled the covers over you.
Got changed and laid down on the other side of the bed, gently brushing your hair out of your face. Falling asleep in paradise.
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This was supposed to be put out earlier, but I accidentally deleted part of it and had to rewrite it. 🩷 Also first time writing smut?!
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jinwoosungs · 9 hours
Text
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{ 158 }
penpal.
academy arc
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
were you going crazy?
what was up with those shadows surrounding your classmate?
settled off to the left side of the classroom, you watch sung jinwoo from your periphery, seeing what looked liked dark wisps surrounding the entirety of his form. the boy was simply reading the pages of his textbook, yet something about him terrified you.
you weren't sure just how long you had been staring at him, your gaze following the tiny wisps of shadow as it seemed to dance around him-
before stiffening when your gaze met with his cool, grey eyes.
becoming paralyzed, you found that you couldn't look away from him, with jinwoo gently flashing you a kind smile. he opens his mouth, ready to greet you when four rowdy classmates interrupts him, surrounding his desk as low chuckles echo throughout the area.
you wanted to call out to them, to somehow warn them-
but no words could come out.
"wow, you're a big shot, aren't you? wearing that glove and all."
"why are you only wearing it on one hand, though? is there a black flame dragon in it or something?"
"ughhhh, my hand!! the black flame cow in my right hand is roaring-!!"
the four males began to laugh incessantly, making your anxiety shoot through the roof. you trail your gaze over to his gloved hand...
"hey, look. take off your glove. let me try it on." one of the boys demanded, further making you anxious at what was to come.
jinwoo remains silent, completely unfazed by these goons who were trying so hard to intimidate him. you had to fight back a grin, feeling the tiniest bit of admiration despite the anxieties you held for him.
"bastard, are your ears stuffed or something? why aren't you replying when we asked you to take off your glove?"
"what is it? do you have a tattoo on your left hand or something?"
jinwoo lets out a huff in response before taking off his glove, revealing a severely burned hand. your throat was felt clenching up in response once more when you caught a glimpse of his scars-
scars that appeared like deadly spiderwebs against his pale skin-
scars that were certainly not normal.
"what? never seen a burn wound before?" jinwoo's voice retained its tranquil quality, causing a wave of discomfort to be seen across the four rowdy students as they each clicked their tongues in utter disgust and disdain.
"we were just joking around, why get all serious?"
"just wear that glove again, i'm scared i'll get nightmares about it."
"FUCKING DISGUSTING."
you watch as the four boys proceed to exit the classroom, only to see a flash of purple from your periphery as an invisible force made them freeze before tripping over the doorway, landing headfirst into the floor (the sudden impact causing the students who were currently out in the hallway to laugh at them).
your heart was racing, nearly stifling you with its anxious beats when you look back at jinwoo to see him smiling at you. he calmly meets your gaze for a brief moment before giving you a wink (acting like he had shared some inside joke with you), catching you completely off guard.
he turns his attention back to his textbook and continues to read, sometimes sneaking glances at you while keeping that knowing smile on his handsome features, making you purse your lips in response.
looking away from him, you pretend to look down at your own handwritten notes, yet the sensation of his eyes being on you never seemed to cease.
{ ... }
the discomfort and anxiety you felt each time you sat next to jinwoo became too much to bear when you asked to switch seats with another girl from your class.
of course, she hadn't the slightest clue about the general offness seen with jinwoo. you knew that all she saw when it came to jinwoo was a cute boy that was top of the class.
but no one ever did notice the strange way his eyes seemed to glow-
how his mannerisms and style of speaking were a tad bit too mature for a mere teenager-
or how there were an almost constant presence of shadows surrounding him.
admittedly, sung jinwoo freaked you out.
even now, when you were literally three desks away from him, you swore that you could feel his piercing gaze against your back.
and you didn't know what you could have possibly done to have warranted such attention from him.
only when class had ended were you finally able to breathe, knowing that jinwoo had track for the next couple of hours. he had already left the classroom when you slowly began to pack your belongings together. adjusting the blouse of your uniform, you brush back your hair and begin making your way to the library to find a few good books to read before heading home.
the moment you stepped into the room filled with books, you let out a happy sigh. breathing in the fresh scent of pages, you eagerly step into the library and head to your favorite aisles.
fantasy... romance... mystery... gahhhh there's so many good books to read! it's a shame we can only check out 4 books at a time...
you think bitterly to yourself, taking a few books off the shelf when a flash of purple catches your attention. with a tilt of your head, you look out the window to see jinwoo settled directly below you. he was taking casual sips of his water all while sneaking glances at you from his periphery.
you pout, resting your free hand against the glass, gaze narrowing down at him. jinwoo realizes that he had caught your attention, fully facing you now as he lifted up his hands to give you a tiny wave. the suddenly soft and sweet action was enough to make the heat grow against your cheeks, with you unable to ignore the gesture as you wave back at him.
his smile was enough to distract you from the lengthening of your shadow made in response to the setting sun, distracting you from seeing the several, glowing purple eyes that remained hidden from within its dark depths.
{ ... }
the morning you came into your school, you saw something fall out of your locker, making you question how such a note could have gotten into the metal compartment.
for starters, it had a lock on it-
a lock that only you had the key to.
so just how did this folded note even reach you?
you shake your head and ignored all logic when it came to how you had gotten this note, proceeding to unfold the piece of paper as it read:
your eyes and smile are really beautiful. tell me, are you seeing anyone right now? ( s. monarch )
your throat turns dry upon reading the note, making your heart race in response.
was this person... actually flirting with you through a note?
and just what kind of nickname was s. monarch?
was this guy just really cocky or something?
yet, even knowing that this note was kind of cheesy, why did it succeed in making you smile?
you look down at the page to see that it had plenty of space for you to write your reply. trying to hide back your grin, you take out your favorite pen and decide to write:
thank you for your compliment. i am not seeing anyone at the moment, but i'm curious- who are you?
you sign off the note with your full name before placing it back within the confines of your locker, somehow knowing that your face was completely flustered right now.
your good mood had dramatically increased, and you found yourself looking forward to talking to this new penpal of yours.
{ ... }
your eyes and smile are really beautiful. tell me, are you seeing anyone right now?
thank you for your compliment. i am not seeing anyone at the moment, but i'm curious- who are you?
ah, i'm sorry, i can't say. it would ruin the mystery :)
mystery?? why would you wish to keep your identity a secret, monarch?
i have my reasons. besides... i want to use this chance to get to know you better.
may i ask how you're able to read and place new notes within my locker?
nope, sorry. it's still a secret ;)
ugh, you're kind of annoying, monarch -_-
i've been called much worse. :)
{ ... }
you spend the next couple of weeks exchanging notes with monarch, giggling each time he asked questions about you, like wanting to know your favorite color-
favorite books-
favorite foods-
just, anything and everything that made you who you are.
while you answered each of his questions, you would read his own responses pertaining to his own personal interests.
you could say purple and black are my favorite colors.
i wasn't much of a big reader before, but i'm enjoying a lot of murder mystery books. maybe you can recommend me some other good novels to read?
my favorite foods are pretty much anything that my mom makes, haha, but kimchi stew and bulgogi beef are my personal favorites.
altogether, he seemed like your typical, teenaged boy. the conversations you had with him remained light-hearted and fun.
but that all changed when you received today's note within your locker during your lunch break:
what do you think of sung jinwoo? i notice you tend to avoid him a lot.
your eyebrows furrow in response to his question, wondering why monarch would even care about how you felt when it came to jinwoo. however, you were always honest with him before, so you saw no reason to lie to him now.
you truly want an honest answer? well, to put it bluntly, jinwoo terrifies me. there's just this... really strange and dark aura about him? yet no one seems to notice it but me. sure, he's plenty polite on the surface, but... i feel like there's more to him than meets the eye. it's almost like... he has some secret, one that no one can understand, but keeps well hidden? ah, sorry, i am well aware that i am not making any sense, but it's how i really feel. jinwoo makes me feel anxious.
after finishing your note, you place it back within your locker before walking back to your classroom.
somehow, you couldn't ignore the sensation that you were missing something vital...
that there was some connection you just weren't seeing when it came to monarch and sung jinwoo...
{ ... }
your heart was racing when class ended for the day, and you wondered if monarch had already sent you a reply. with a noticeable bounce in your step, you go to your locker and unlock it, seeing a brand new note settled atop your various notebooks.
meet me at the library after school.
a painful clench was felt at the base of your throat, with you picking up the single note, your hands trembling as you fought to calm down. letting out a deep breath, you close your locker and brush back your hair, holding monarch's latest note close to your chest.
were you getting nervous?
why did your legs feel stiff and heavy all of a sudden?
with each step you take, getting oh so much closer to the library, you swore that your heart was going to choke you with its rapid palpitations-
praying that you wouldn't suddenly die of a heart attack, you open the door to the library-
only to see a lone figure standing in front of the window. the setting sun shining directly in your eyes made it difficult for you to see who it was, giving you no choice but to come closer to the person.
wiping away the tears from your eyes, you stepped closer and finally saw just who monarch truly was-
letting out a gasp when sung jinwoo himself was looking at you with those same, glowing eyes.
"you... you're monarch?!" that was all that you could manage, the anxiety immediately becoming worse as your heart continued to beat faster within the confines of your chest.
a rich chuckle escapes from his lips, "indeed, i am." he confirms your suspicions before taking a step closer to you.
jinwoo seemed unaware (or perhaps he just didn't care?) about your mounting discomfort and anxieties, still coming closer to you as you continued to take several steps away from him.
only when your back met with one of the sides of the bookshelves did you finally stop, with jinwoo smiling down at you. he places his gloved hand against the shelf, trapping you against him.
with his free hand, he gently traces at your bottom lip, making your breath hitch in response. despite how much of a nervous wreck he made you, you couldn't ignore the sudden warmth you felt spreading across your veins at the look of adoration he gives you.
"you have plenty of good reasons to fear me, i'll admit, but... is it really just fear and anxiety that you feel for me...?"
his whisper was almost seductive, trailing his fingertips down your features before gently grabbing a hold of your chin.
"or have you mistaken your anxieties with feelings of love for me, too?"
your breathing comes out in uneven breaths, and you could feel your cheeks further heating up in response as your heart skipped several beats-
"wait, you said too, did you just hint that- that you feel love for me?"
jinwoo's glowing purple eyes became alight with amusement as he gives you an eager nod. "obviously, these feelings of mine have only grown since the moment i saw you again..."
you became speechless then, watching with bated breath when jinwoo inches closer and closer to you, "despite how long it's been for me, you have not changed... not even a little bit, sarang."
your knees immediately become weaker when jinwoo calls you by that sweet term of endearment, and you nearly fell to your knees when he finally kisses you. his arms were kept locked around your waist, kissing you with a fervor that made you feel oddly nostalgic-
perhaps you had no reason to fear sung jinwoo after all; especially with how addicting his kisses had quickly become to you.
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a.n. - and we are so back with the fluff i have always loved writing about! i am so happy, passing a really difficult final exam as i look forward to the rest of my academic year 😭 so i decided to write another jinwoo story!
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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sadokasochism · 2 days
Text
For me, the most heartbreaking aspect of Ivan is that the poor clueless bastard didn't have the tools to express his affection in any way that didn't involve violence or manipulation, or weren't too inscrutable, quiet, or unseen to be picked up by Till.
I definitely interpret Ivan as autistic for several reasons, a big one being their Segyein teacher's notes about him:
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It's just. Classic ND behaviour to me.
Not only does expressing emotion and communicating the way other kids do not come naturally to Ivan, but it's not as if he's been given a great example of coping with this from the Segyein.
Ivan managed to mask in a way that made him popular with other students, and got him in the good graces of their captors. He did everything expected of him to survive and thrive in this environment.
Then he meets Till, inscrutable and very different to the other kids, just like Ivan is. Except, Till doesn't mask. He doesn't change or try to endear himself to their captors, and he doesn't bend to anyone, no matter how much he is hurt and punished for it.
This is a new situation for Ivan, and he's never had anything to compare his feelings to. He also can't figure out how to communicate with Till, every interaction, no matter how well meaning, seems to end in failure.
I bring your attention to the cheer up comic, and how, again, autistic this interaction feels:
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There could be many reasons why Ivan chose to say what he did, but to me it feels like ND bluntness not being received well. And that's fair! From Till's perspective Ivan is being a jerk for no good reason.
Instead of responding with glee towards Till laying him out (as we see from Ivan when they're a bit older), Ivan justs seems... really confused. Like he didn't expect that statement to upset Till that much, and he didn't expect Till to respond in the way he did. Everything was fine a second ago, what went wrong?
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Then, Ivan uses the phrase he learned from Till in an attempt to self sooth. It might have been the first example of comfort after an injury/hurt he had ever seen, given how he defaults to it. And it was from Till trying to cheer up a flower.
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This also shows some of Till's blindspots. He has grown up having to be vigilant, because violence and hurt have been a core part of his upbringing. This leads to anything he doesn't immediately, clearly understand as being perceived as a threat or a slight, and so he reacts violently to Ivan's statement.
I'll also draw your attention to this comic where, as far as we know, Ivan is simply stating a true fact in a blunt manner:
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In my interpretation, these types of interactions keep adding up, and Ivan is grasping at straws the whole time, trying to be closer to Till and failing every time.
Eventually, the only surefire way to get Till's attention is to piss him off, provoke him, manufacture scenarios to talk to him. I'm not excusing this behaviour, but I understand where Ivan could be coming from, from the perspective of both an emotionally immature/stunted child and/or an ND child.
Despite how much they fight and bicker, at every moment it really mattered, Ivan was there for Till. It was always Ivan coming to free him, to take off his collar or gag, and it was Ivan who led their escape.
Ivan couldn't leave Till behind when he went back for Mizi. Even with the confirmation that Till would choose Mizi over Ivan every time, Ivan couldn't leave him.
The miscommunication goes two ways though. It's insane to think that Till didn't care about Ivan at all. They were close as kids, and I doubt Till ever forgot about the escape he gave up.
We have the graduation messages, where Ivan is able to write something that could be reasonably interpreted as affectionate or fond towards Till.
Meanwhile, Till's message-
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If we're being charitable with our interpretations, we can say this was Till's way of saying 'of course I remember you' and attempting to communicate that Ivan HAD left a lasting impact on him.
However, how could any reasonable person be expected to get THAT out of 'you stole my fucking pencil'? Ivan could have taken this one of two ways:
1) Omg he remembers me 🥰
2) he leans into his 'i will never be loved back' bias and thinks that Till really doesn't care about him at all
Who the hell knows what goes through that weird little brain of his. But given how Round 6 went, and what Ivan had to say in the confession comic, he obviously didn't think his impact was significant enough.
Then Alien Stage happens, and in Round 3 Ivan is FINALLY communicating his feelings in a way that is vulnerable and might even have a chance of being understood as love and yearning!
Till is unconscious through it until the very end.
Then in the next round, Mizi goes missing, and Till can't care about anything anymore.
Ivan finds him after the private performance, takes off his gag, and just holds him. Again, Till is unconscious for all of this.
Then, in Round 6, not only is Till distraught from the disappearance of Mizi, but he's given no time to process what the fuck is going on before Ivan is dead at his feet. Till might have finally had a chance to really understand where Ivan was coming from, how he really felt all this time, and Ivan DIES.
And still, Ivan's most transparent act of affection? It's delivered with violence. He's kissing a distraught Till who tries to push him away, and neither of them are happy. He puts his hands around Till's neck, not really hurting him, but it's enough to look convincing for the cameras, and it's enough for Till to go limp and wait for death. Ivan's final loving act is to give Till a soft look with blood pouring out of his mouth, that Till still does not see, and then let go before falling to the ground.
It's just a collection of failures. We see from Ivan that he truly loved Till, made a lot of selfless decisions for his sake, was filled with so much longing and affection, but he just couldn't get it across in a way that doesn't seem fucking deranged from an outsider's perspective. And when he DID manage to communicate his feelings more clearly, it was to a Till that was unconscious, or too distracted/dense/traumatised to see Ivan's actions as ones of love.
There's no guarantee that Till would have reciprocated even if Ivan had managed to communicate his feelings in a healthier way, but there was at least a CHANCE. At least Ivan could have gotten some closure, even if he was rejected.
Instead Ivan died thinking he was completely unloved by the person who he cared about more than anything else, and his last ditch effort to make Till understand was deeply flawed and uncomfortable.
If these kids had grown up any other way, maybe they could have had a chance. Unfortunately, the world they were in didn't equip them to not hurt eachother in their attempts to grow closer.
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furuyalover · 2 days
Note
Hey bae! Can I request the song Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra, with any of the Haikyuu boys for your music event? - 🫧
somethin’ stupid | mars & her music event
"and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'i love you'"
— ft. iwaizumi hajime
AN: tysm for ur request! this was so much fun to write & ty for joining my event! for any readers int in participating, more info ab it here ! also this is on the longer side so cozy up, & get ready for some iwa fluff
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"i know i stand in line, until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me..."
you were at a semi-formal event put on by your school, aoba johsai. despite the amount of people there, the ballroom in which the ball took place had a tranquil atmosphere. seeing your classmates in an elegant manner, looking at some of them and thinking oh wow they clean up nice, it was a rather lovely change of pace. however, only one student in particular really caught your eye. that student, of course, was the one and only, iwaizumi hajime.
he looked radiant. you've really never seen him in anything outside of his school and volleyball uniforms, so he was really a sight for sore eyes. the suit he wore was well-tailored, but you could still make out the defined muscles on his biceps. he was so elegant and well mannered in this setting, and it certainly helped that his best friend sitting next to him was being as obnoxious as usual, making iwaizumi's polished manner even more apparent,
hajime also had his eyes set on someone, you. he only ever sees you at school, in your required uniforms, so he was stricken with adornment when he saw you tonight. he had always admired you, had even a secret crush on you, (which of course was obvious to the whole volleyball team based off how much he mentions you) seeing you dressed so lovely, and looking even more beautiful than usual, how could he not gaze at you like that? but when he saw you being approached by other students, telling you how gorgeous you looked, his insecurities got the best of him. why should i even try? they already have all these other guys romancing them, i wouldn't even stand a chance, he would mumble to himself. oh how little the boy knows..
"i practice everyday to find some clever lines to make the meaning come through. but then i think i'll wait til the evening gets late, and i'm alone with you..."
after talking it over with his best friend who sat beside him, tooru oikawa, he decided to just say screw it and muster up enough courage to talk to you. he & oikawa practiced exactly what he's going to say to you, since tonight will be the night he finally confesses to you. after ensuring that his words will be perfect, he gathers all his confidence to get up, and begin walking to where you're standing & talking to a few classmates.
"the time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue"
he slowly makes his way over to you, being sure that you aren't talking to anyone by the time he approaches you. everything is gonna go perfectly, he'll have the perfect moment to tell what he's been feeling all these months.
after finishing some conversations with friends, out of the corner of your eye you see a familiar face walking towards you. is iwaizumi really coming over here? oh my god this is really happening, shit i hope i look okay. you frantically pat down your hair and clothes, to make sure you hopefully look perfect by the time iwa sees you. when he finally gets to you, you notice something about him is different. he seems more reserved than usual, almost seemingly shy?
"iwaizumi! i didn't know if you were gonna make it today, great to see you!" you say smiling like an idiot. "please, call me hajime. great to see you too, you look stunning." flustered by his affection, you look down smiling to hide your beet red face. hajime is hit with relief because now you hopefully won't see how red he is himself. "hey don't wanna sound weird or anything, but would you wanna step outside with me for a sec? there's something i need to get off my chest." your eyes widened, nervous at what he could possibly have to say. but regardless you nod in agreement as he takes you outside.
the two of you gaze out to the sky, on the balcony just outside the venue of the formal, in partially comfortable partially awkward silence. "so, um, what was it you wanted to say?" you nervously ask to try and break the ever so loud silence. fuck. iwaizumi thought. all his practice with oikawa? yea, that all went out the window because suddenly his mind is going a million miles per minute. he has so many thoughts running through his head, but he just can't seem to find the words, nor the confidence, to voice them. but before you know, the stern and intimidating volleyball player you're used to turns into a rambling mess.
"and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like, 'i love you'..."
"i don't really know how to say this, but fuck it i'll just try" he starts. you take a step back to look at him, a little confused, but waiting to hear the rest. "y/n, i really like, maybe even love you. i don't know, i'm bad with feelings, but i do know that you're all i think about. i never shut up about you, and i think you're the most perfect person put on this earth. i know i'm not oikawa, and that you probably have tons of other guys who want you and i probably sound stupid but i jus-" he stops suddenly when realized that you've wrapped your arms around him and engulfed him in a hug. after hesitantly wrapping his muscular arms around you, he relaxes a bit more, and eases into your touch.
with the side of your face resting on his chest, you look up at him beaming. both of you blushing profusely, but neither of you pay any attention to that. after a moment of just staring at each other, you finally say with a smile "you are kinda stupid hajime, i like you too, maybe even love also. i don't know how you haven't picked up on that yet" this just makes iwaizumi pull you in tighter, it feels like all his dreams had just came true.
"oh my god he finally did it" "god it's about time" oikawa and hanamaki groan to each other. yes they watched this whole thing go down for a comfortable distance, partially to make fun of him but also just to support their close friend from afar
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imtrashraccoon · 20 hours
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Total Eclipse
Eclipse!Sans x OC
Eclipse!Sans belongs to @llamagoddessofficial and I am rather obsessed with them! I hope I captured them accurately but I couldn't help but wonder how they'd react to my OC.
Their design is based on art that @sparticus2000art created. I loved the first one the most so I hope you don't mind that I used it.
Background: This drabble is not canon to The Nightmare of Apathy and is a sort of "What if?" situation for whatever happens after the story ends.
All you really need to know to enjoy this is that the Reader was in a relationship with Nightmare and lives in his castle with the rest of the gang. The world is only lit up by the moon and the stars, thanks to Nightmare's influence.
Word Count: 1,959
You woke up alone, which wasn't too unusual in of itself. Still, you couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed that Nightmare hadn't joined you this time. He'd been extra busy ever since forming a treaty with his brother but you'd hoped he'd take a break on his own. Now it seemed like you'd have to go bug him about getting proper rest, even though he always insisted that he didn't need to.
You crawled out of bed and pulled the curtains aside. Just like always, the world outside the castle was dark. Only the light from the stars and the moon could pierce through the veil, but you didn't mind as it was all you'd ever known. Well that wasn't entirely true since you'd visited a few other worlds by now. Despite how pretty it was, you didn't think you'd get used to how bright the sun was anytime soon.
To your surprise and shock, the moon looked...different.
Somehow, it had turned black although the edges also seemed to be glowing. It was so bright, that you couldn't bear to look at it for longer than a second.
What did this mean? Was the world in danger? You'd never heard of anything like this happening before, although there was one person who might.
With little care for your appearance, you threw on a robe and hurried through the castle to find Nightmare, but when he wasn't in any of his usual spots like his office or the library, you started to get worried. In your hurry, you nearly ran into Killer in the hallway but his quick reflexes kept the two of you from ending up on the floor in a heap.
"woah there, what's the hurry, angel?" he asked teasingly.
"Where is he?!" You were slightly out of breath and had to take a moment to recover. "Where's Nightmare?"
Killer hummed thoughtfully, "i actually haven't seen him in a while." He seemed to notice how concerned you were and the corners of his smile quirked up slightly. "what? is the world ending or something?" he asked with a chuckle.
You huffed and shot him a glare. "Maybe? The moon is completely messed up and I don't know where he is."
That seemed to catch his attention. "i'll go ask the others and see if they've heard anything."
You nodded and Killer shot you a wink before vanishing into mid-air. As irritating as he could be, you had to appreciate how serious he got when it counted. No wonder Nightmare trusted him with important jobs.
You continued to search the castle and were soon joined by Nightmare's other henchmen, but no matter how hard you looked, there was no trace of him. At some point, you happened to glance outside and noticed that there was somebody on the veranda. They were facing away so you couldn't really make out what they looked like beyond being a tall skeleton with pitch black bones.
Maybe you should've been more cautious about approaching the strange skeleton, especially with everything that had happened before the treaty, but the moment you stepped outside, you couldn't help but feel drawn to them. They just felt oddly familiar, like an old friend or loved one.
You only got about halfway across the veranda when they seemed to sense your presence. They turned quickly and the moment you made eye contact, you realized that despite what you had thought, you'd never seen them before.
They were much taller than you'd initially thought; easily pushing eight feet tall, making them taller than even Horror. While their bones were indeed black, they actually seemed to have a white glow, kind of similar to Dream. Their eyelights were mismatched, with the left being cyan while the right was gold, and there was a flared halo hovering around the top of their skull. You were also immediately struck with their intense aura that was reminiscent of both the god brothers. You could feel your eyes start to sting with tears that threatened to spill over and yet your soul nearly leapt for joy at the same time.
They wore an elegant black overcoat with white epaulettes, a flared collar, white buttons, a white sun motive on the lapels, and their tail coats had a white lining. Under the jacket, they had on a dress shirt with lace ruffles, high waisted black pants with buttons that matched the jacket's, and knee high boots with white accents.
"Who...? Who are you?" you asked cautiously.
They gave you an amused smile but said nothing at first and just continued watching you.
You frowned and took a step closer. They just seemed so familiar and you felt like you should know who they were. The more you stared up into their eyes, the stronger that feeling became. His facial bones vaguely resembled Nightmare's but maybe that was just because their left eyelight was the same colour.
Your eyes widened with the realization that this was why he hadn't been anywhere in the castle. What could've caused such an extreme change in appearance? Was this related to the moon?
"Nightmare?"
Their smile didn't falter and they just continued watching you, although you felt their already very intense aura flare up even more. You could feel the buzz of ecstasy in your veins and how your soul seemed to swell from the positivity.
It actually hurt.
You recoiled and quickly stepped back. While your body was nearly overwhelmed by emotions, your mind was relatively clear at the moment. You wished you had more control over your magic, especially for times like these, but at least you had some defense against this manipulation attempt.
This wasn't Nightmare. It couldn't be! He wasn't capable of inflicting positive emotions and he hadn't tried to influence your emotions at all since the beginning of your relationship. There was only one other person who could, and previously had, tried to do these things.
"Dream...?" you tried again, although your voice trembled as you spoke.
They blinked before the amused smiled finally faded a bit. They did vaguely resemble the god of positivity, especially with the whole inflicting positive feelings ability. The gold right eyelight did seem like the exact same shade as his as well.
"That is not my name anymore."
You could hardly believe your ears but their voice was exactly like Nightmare's, although it was the one he used when he was trying to intimidate mortals. It was nothing like the calm, velvety tone he used when you were alone together.
You couldn't keep yourself composed any longer and the tears that had threatened to burst earlier, now flowed freely down your cheeks. You didn't want to believe it, but you could see that something terrible had befallen your partner and it seemed like Dream was involved as well.
You felt their claws press into the skin around your jaw as they ever so gently tilted your head up to meet their gaze again. When had they gotten so close?
Even though your head was dwarfed by the size of their hands, they were so careful as they wiped your tears away with the tips of their claws. You didn't dare move in case they injured you with how sharp they were.
It felt like their eyelights could pierce through to your soul with how intensely they were gazing at you. Their aura felt a lot warmer all of the sudden too and your mind felt kind of fuzzy.
They began to stroke your hair in what felt like a reassuring way, although you felt shivers run down your spine every time their claws grazed your scalp. You had been in too much of a hurry to brush your hair earlier and their claws caught on the occasional knot every now and then, but they were careful not to tug on the individual strands too much at least.
"It's... It's alright to cry..." Their voice suddenly lowered mid-sentence until it was almost a whisper. It still didn't sound exactly like Nightmare's voice but it was eerily similar. "Would...a hug help you feel better?"
You swallowed and barely got out a "Yes" when they practically engulfed you in a warm embrace. Their bones were quite literally warm, much like Dream's were the few times you'd touched him, although you could sense that the temperature was actually from how much mana they had contained in their form than anything else.
You couldn't physically wrap your arms around them, so you settled for letting your hands rest on their chest instead. They didn't seem to mind in the slightest, although you thought you faintly heard a soft purr when you touched them.
They suddenly scooped you up in their arms as if you were nothing but a small child, causing you to gasp as your feet left the stone tiles. They held you close to their ribcage and pressed their teeth against your hair, as if mimicking a kiss.
"Dear little human... I'm sorry for causing you such distress."
You sniffled and buried your face into their shirt. Everything felt wrong and knowing that this entity wasn't Nightmare hurt so much.
"You're...a very special human. The last thing I want is to hurt you..." they purred.
"Do... Do you remember me...?"
They stilled for a moment before moving to sit down on a nearby bench and setting you in their lap. They resumed stroking your hair before even attempting to answer your question.
"I'm sorry, dear, but I can't remember someone I've never met." They moved one of their hands to your back and began to rub circles into your shoulders. "You're certainly familiar to me though."
You pulled back so you could look up at them again. "Night...what happened to you? Why do you look like this? I don't... I don't understand what's going on..."
"I'm not your Nightmare, not anymore," they answered. They paused for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to say next. "I'm not either of them anymore. This is...just the natural result..."
"But why?"
"It just is. I am the god of feelings, both positive and negative." They sighed and lightly caressed your cheek. "If it is of any comfort to you, they didn't plan for this to happen."
You took a deep breath. "Was it because of the truce?"
The edges of their permanent smile quirked up slightly but they said nothing. You weren't sure if that was a yes or no but you couldn't think of any other reason for the brothers to have accidentally merged into one body out of nowhere.
They let out a quiet chuckle and softly poked your nose. "He may not have always been able to say it, but he loved you so much. If you'll allow me, I would be happy to share the depths of his love with you sometime, dear."
You furrowed your eyebrows and glanced away from them. "I... I don't know... Does this mean you have their memories?"
They shook their skull ever so slightly. "Not quite, but I have their combined knowledge. Anything you could possibly want to know, I can explain."
"How about a name first?"
They practically beamed and quickly pressed their teeth against your forehead. "My name is Total Eclipse or, if you prefer, you can just call me Eclipse."
You felt your cheeks grow warm at the contact but quickly forced any emotions down for now. "My name is Aylin. It means 'moon halo' and, well..."
They let out a quick bark of laughter. "...'the one who belongs to the moon...' I think it's rather fitting."
"That's... That's actually almost exactly what he said when we first met..."
"I told you, I know everything that they knew..."
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oxpogues4lifexo · 2 days
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Full Kook - Part 1
A Protective/Sweet/Obsessive/Possessive!Rafe&JJ Fanfic
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Warnings: Mentions of drugs, Alcohol, Language, SA, Abuse, Sex. Anything I missed Lmk.
Word count: 1765
Summary of Part 1: Introduction of the main three characters, told by the one and only JJ Maybank.
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JJ's Pov:
Bella Elizabeth Brooks.
The Princess of Kildare. With a heart of gold and the face of an angel. The girl everyone wants to be or be with. And the only person to disagree with that.. herself.
Bella grew up on The Cut with no mum, a father but no dad, and barely any friends. Despite the idolisation, everyone has always avoided her, and that's for one reason and one reason alone - Thomas Brooks.
The man who created the island's untouchable sweetheart.
There's reasons for it, that only the Pogue's side of the island understand. Whereas, for Figure Eight? Let's just say Tom has a good friend who keeps his status well-worded.
Don't get me wrong, Tom is THE most respected man in the OBX; works for everyone, always knows how to put smiles on their faces, and never has a bad thing to say about anything or anyone.
Well, that all goes out the window when it comes to Bella. I mean who wouldn't throw that all away if they had a daughter like her? But it definitely all changed when the whole fiasco with her mum came out last year. (14 years prior her mum passed. Her dad.. I'll save that for later). But it completely ruined everything for the both of them; everyone stopped wanting Thomas to take their jobs meaning they were losing a lot of money, and Thomas didn't want Bella having anything to do with anyone, as they all started spreading rumours about her, so he pulled her out of school.
Luckily the news only went around The Cut. So, ever since last Summer, Bella and Tom have been working up on the North side, taking jobs from anywhere they can like the Island Club or even just small things like mowing people's lawns. To be fair if I was getting paid that much, l'd do anything for them too. It helps that their family friend is only THE richest man on the island, so it makes surviving that little bit easier.
The Brooks had to start over from rock bottom, again, but they've managed to get themselves back to where they were. Everyone has started to move on from the situation, but now it was Thomas' turn. Which leads me back to why Bella doesn't like her life, despite having almost everything.
Her parents are Kooks, grew up on Figure Eight, best friends with Ward and Mary Cameron (before she left). Tom and Ward were inseparable since the day they met in Middle School, then meeting Mary and Elizabeth (Bella's mum) in High School, as they were cheerleaders for their football games.
However, Thomas suffered with mental illness since he was a little boy, and it slowly grew worse over the years. It meant that taking care of himself was bad enough, so being in a relationship with Eli would be extremely difficult. But, Elizabeth and Ward were what he needed as a distraction from everything else, so he stayed.
Taking us to 17 years ago (7 years later), when Eli found out she was pregnant and began to focus on that instead, something clicked in Tom's head. Almost like flipping a switch. Eli wasn't enough to make his thoughts go away anymore and Ward was now busy with Cameron Development so he turned to alcohol as a last resort. He wanted to move to The Cut to see if starting over would help him to get better but in-fact it did the opposite.
Around when Bella was 2, Eli and Thomas got into a huge argument over his drinking problem and how it was affecting their daughter’s life. One thing led to another and.. (I think you can piece it all together by now.)
The problem was, Tom is the sweetest man to exist, but when he lashes out he's a completely different person, even to himself. Afterwards, he doesn't remember a thing as if it was someone else inside his body. So him and Bella thought nothing of it; ignoring whenever he had an ‘episode’ (what they started to call it as he began to switch up more often and had no recollection of it after).
When Ward found out, he realised how distant he'd been; bailed Tom out and sent him to rehab.
This is where I come in.
At the time, Thomas, Ward, Mike, Bobby, and my dad, Luke, were all friends. They all were aware of Tom's mental health but never knew what happened that night (other than Ward) and they made sure to keep it that way.
Bella stayed with me and my dad for about two weeks before Thomas gave up on rehab. He believed that as long as he had Bella and he stopped drinking, he'd be okay. Ward didn't want to admit it, but he didn't trust Tom with his own daughter, especially when he was still grieving, so all of his friends would be over every night to 'check up on him'; they'd gamble, watch football, spend time with me and Bella (and an occasional Sarah and Rafe if Mary was busy).
Whatever it took to distract Thomas from his own mind.
Bella grew up surrounded by people; as we grew older and went to school, meeting new people was on the top of our list. Because of my dad, I practically lived at the Brooks house, so when Bella and Tom started going to Tannyhill for the weekends, I had to fill in the time. That's when I met John B. Then Kiara, then Pope. Bella, on the other hand, wasn't good at making friends, her dad was very picky with who she could surround herself with so she settled for me, Rafe and Sarah. The people he knew.
Rafe and Sarah began to visit the Brooks with Ward and so, even though I was quite sceptical about the whole ‘Kooks befriending Pogues thing’, I had no choice but to do so. The Camerons are the only reason, me, Bella and Tom have a good life so tolerating them is my way of thanking them.
Sarah ditched Bella for Kiara during High School before ditching Kie aswell (I don't know what happened, don't ask, the look I get when I ask is like I just murdered a whole family of turtles). This led the visitings to stop however, and they only saw each other once a week. The weekend stays were cut to a Friday dinner at most and so Bella and Rafe grew apart.
Bella was left with me and her dad. And then because of the whole information outbreak last year, she lost everything else. Thomas has worked his ass off to give her everything he can and she appreciates every part of it. She always tells him that she'd be happy living in a cardboard box as long as she had me and him, but it never stopped him from trying to give her the world.
But trust me, she meant it.
Anywho. The good news after that shitshow of a trauma dump that doesn't actually belong to me but to my gorgeous best friend, is that because of Bella and her dad working at the Island Club so much, her and Rafe reunited and are now as close as ever.
Gross, gag me..
Joking I can't say that.
He's sat right beside me smoking a J with me whilst Bella's asleep on the other side of the L -shaped couch.
Me. Rafe. Bella.
The ‘Famous Trio’ of Kildare Island. I'm not going into another lecture but let me just say that we are the most well known people in the OBX right now. Rafe's the heartthrob of the Kooks, me? I'm the Pogues equivalent of course, and Bella's the beauty that came from the beast (Her dad, get it? No? Okay..) and we're all somehow friends.
Everyone on the island thinks we’re this weird throuple because of how close we all are to one another but we're actually so far from it.
Okay that was a lie.. to Bella there's absolutely nothing between us. But me and Rafe? GOD we fawn over Bella whenever we get the chance. And what makes it even harder to ignore is the fact that we know it'll never happen.
It's not that we want to sleep with her or anything, it's actually quite the opposite. We love that she likes us outside of that. That's what gets us the most, (other than the way she looks but that's a given), that she cares about us. And even through everything she'd never leave.
Bella Brooks is for life. And me and Rafe are never ever letting her go. That's a promise.
"Hm look.." Rafe lifts his phone to meet my eyes with the proudest grin on his face, a picture of Bella taking up the screen. It was a photo he took of her earlier today at the club whilst she was beating Topper at golf. Rafe taught her and she was quick to learn; he enjoys watching Topper's expressions when he loses to a 'beginner' when in reality she gets private lessons.
I watch the picture, as if it were a video waiting to load. My eyes widen, not being able to fix on only one area.
"Right..?" He chuckles, eyeing the photo himself, tracing every inch of it. Bella bent over, ass hanging out her shorts, and chest slightly exposed over her crop top as her arm is swung to hit the ball. Hair pulled back in a ponytail, held secure in one of Rafe's hats, showing off her whole face.
His eyes glare at me, eyebrows furrowed, now impatiently waiting for a response wondering if he should've shared the photo with me at all. "Send it to me.." I mumble, taking a glance at the Bella laying under a blanket across from us.
I always feel guilty about the way we ogle at her, like some toy we can play with, but we simply just think she's the most beautiful girl we've laid our eyes on. We don’t mean anything by it we just like to let her know.
He laughs passing me the joint, "Knew we were friends for a reason.."
Jealousy doesn't exist between me and Rafe; we know that Bella wouldn't choose between us and she loves us both equally so we have no reason for there to be any tension. Although I can't lie, I do get a little pissed when I see the way he looks at her. Because I know he sees her differently to me, he sees a sparkle somewhere in her that I haven't yet found and he's digging further for it with every interaction. I also know that he has a better chance with her, as me and Bella grew up together, meaning if we ever tried dating it would ruin everything we've worked for.
And Rafe knows that..
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Alternative intro to my other one (pinned)
Let me know which you’d prefer to read more of x
Thank you for reading ❤️
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Text
"What's stopping you?" he asks, sparing me a glance before returning his gaze back down to his phone.
"Fear, I guess." I say, leaning against the low counter, feeling my ribs press into the fiberboard, "I know I can drive. I do okay for the most part, but I hate it. I hate driving."
"I like it." he hums, sitting upright, his phone abandoned on his thigh, "It lets me go anywhere I want, whenever I want."
"I'd rather be in the passenger's seat myself."
"If you can drive, why not just get your license and be done with it?" he questions, "Then people can't hound you about it anymore."
I push away from the counter and fiddle with the card display beside me for a moment before I reply.
"Any time I've accomplished some long term goal, or done, well, anything, people ask me what my plan is. What I'm going to do next." I explain, nudging a stray envelope back into place, "When I started working here, my family was already asking me about my exit plan. Despite all the pressure to get a job, the immediate response to me getting this one was to tell me I needed to plot out my escape route... Truth be told, nothing I have ever done has been treated as 'good enough', it's always just a stepping stone towards some greater goal that others have put in place for me."
"For example, when I was a kid and showed an affinity towards art, the immediate response was that I should focus solely on becoming good at it so I could turn it into a career... despite my protests that it was a hobby, something I did to relax, money and success came first to my family."
"So you don't drive... because your family would start pushing you further? To do what?" he asks, giving me a confused expression.
"I guess it doesn't make a whole lot of sense." I laugh, "I think I just want to keep their expectations low enough that they focus on that instead of everything else I'm doing."
"You're a bit of an odd duck, you know that?" he huffs, smiling softly, "You have a bike right?"
"Yes?"
"There's your loophole."
I snort.
"And if it's raining?"
"I have room in the passenger's seat in my car." he replies, returning to browsing on his phone.
"I'll keep that in mind."
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lukecvntstellan · 2 days
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do you reckon u could do a leo x reader fluff plsss 🙏
a/n: this is the first time i've written anything ____ x reader in a LOOONNNGGGGG time... forgive me if i'm rusty. don't be tooo mean i'll probably sob idk
improper grammar probably (not proofread) and written in all lowercase because i dont feel like capitalizing
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hurt/comfort with leo valdez x reader i guesssss
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leo had been down on himself recently. him and his significant other had been together almost a year now. as of late he had been locking himself in bunker nine, away from his friends and s/o.
leo had been drowning himself in work, alone in bunker 9, as an excuse for his loneliness. over his music he hears the door swing open, he looks up expecting to see his s/o, but is instead greeted by one of his best friends, piper mclean.
"hey, leo. we noticed you've been spending a lot of time in here... is everything okay?"
the question he knew was coming, but had been dreading.
leo unplugged his radio before saying, "yeah, piper, i've been great. just working on a big project!" trying to feign excitement over his project, which in reality was a pile of scrap metal on his desk that he wasn't quite sure what to do with.
"i'm sorry, but you're the most social out of our friend group? locking yourself in here for days is unusual. y/n has been worried about you. you haven't even spoken to them?"
"okay piper. i'm sorry. okay? i just don't know what to say. you're the only person i've opened up to before. i'm scared y/n would leave me if they knew what was happening. i can't tell them. being with me is already hard enough, i don't need to add on additional burden with the nightmares i've been having..."
despite being "closer" with jason, leo had only ever talked about his feelings with piper before. jason already had enough of his own problems, and never really noticed when leo was going through something.
ever since leo was claimed by his father he had been told by multiple people that he was fated to always be the outsider, never have a place, always the seventh wheel. those words echo through his mind constantly, never ending. because of this, having an s/o was hard. thoughts of "do i deserve this?" "are they going to leave me?" and "am i good enough for them?" were always cycling through his mind.
piper's voice cut through leo's thoughts, "i'm not the one you should be apologizing to. i think you need to talk to them. they're worried about you. do you want to tell me what's been happening first though?"
"do you remember a few months ago i told you about the dreams i had, with hera in them?"
"oh gods.. they're back?"
"yeah... i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. but now i'm so tired and i want to sleep. but i'm scared."
piper moved to give leo a quick hug. "i'm sorry that the dreams are back. i'm gonna get y/n to come talk to you. okay?"
"thanks beauty queen." (**LEOS NORMAL NICKNAME FOR HER IN THE BOOKS**)
as piper was leaving leo walked over to the bed he had made for his late nights in bunker nine, preparing for a conversation he did not want to have.
emotions weren't leo's strong suit. he always tried to be funny and cool to distract from any emotional issues that were happening. no amount of jokes could hide the dark circles under his eyes and his unbrushed hair. he looked rough.
the door opened, and y/n walked in and sat down next to leo. running their hand through his unkempt curls they asked, "are you okay, what's going on? i'm worried about you."
leo laid down, his head in y/n's lap, and their hands gently playing with his hair.
"my dreams have been really bad recently. i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. i'm so tired. i haven't been able to finish any project i've started. i can't do anything right-" leo pointed to the haphazard pile of junk on his desk.
tears started to form, leo tried to blink them away, to no success.
"i guess i've always been insecure? i've been told by hera and nemesis that i'm meant to be this outsider with no role and will always be alone and now i just feel like i don't deserve you. and all my dreams lately have just been those same words on repeat. hera standing there telling me that i'm always going to be the seventh wheel. i'm never going to find my place. i can't take it anymore."
y/n pressed a light kiss to his forehead while contemplating their words.
"leo. you realize that isn't true, right? you DO deserve me. you're not an outsider either, you have a place in our friend group. everyone there loves you. and I love you-"
"love me? you haven't said that before"
"i've been thinking it for a while"
leo couldn't hide the smile that was taking over his face. "really? i love you too, actually, i love you more." he sat up and tackled y/n down on the bed in a hug. "you can't ever leave me now, you're trapped here!" leo said through a laugh.
"you know, i wouldn't dream of it."
"i mean, you probably will. the demigod dreams go kinda crazy."
"you know what i meant, stupid."
"WHAT! you think i'm stupid?" leo protested.
"no. i didn't mean it like that and you know it."
leo shut up after that. being in the arms of his partner after not sleeping for days was making the sleepiness overwhelming. y/n noticed leo drifting off, running their hands through his hair and whispering soft "i love you's" and other sweet nothings.
this was the first night of no nightmares in a week for him :)
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this is ASSS bc i wrote it at mostly 4am and i dont proofread. the concept is there, the execution isn't.
i love leo i think he deserves some comfort in his life PLEASE
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myname-isnia · 3 months
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It's that "spend hours sobbing my eyes out in bed for several reasons, including but not limited to the fact tomorrow is Monday, the fact my social battery has been completely drained and won't recover anytime soon, the fact my landlady is due to show up tomorrow evening and will likely piss me off again, the fact I've had the urge to write since Friday and ended up not writing even a single fucking word, the fact exam pressure keeps rising and I still don't know what to do with my life after I'm done with school, and the fact I'm both completely overwhelmed and so terribly lonely at the same time" kind of Sunday evenings
#I'm so fucking exhausted. both mentally and emotionally#I spent the night at my grandma's and then my friend came over and spent the night the following day#and I don't count it as a day off unless I don't go anywhere or see anyone#so you could say I didn't really have a weekend#idk how I'll go to school tomorrow. I think even one person talking to me would make me fucking explode#and yet. despite all that. I feel completely alone#because no one I know irl can provide me with the comfort I so desperately need#spending time with people is all a big distraction from my depressive thoughts#and the second everyone leaves.. I feel more alone than ever. so completely and utterly lonely#I try to fill the void with my imagination. lose myself in my oc verse. and it helps sometimes#but when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or can't some up with anything good... I just end up feeling worse than I did before#everything I do is to distract myself from my mind because the second I'm left alone with my thoughts..#they go to a very dark place very quickly#like now. when my wrists itch and I can't stop crying and know full well that I'll go to bed in a few hours wishing to never wake up#and I'm left with nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. aching for arms to fall into and a shoulder to cry on#despite knowing it's not something I'll ever have#so I grit my teeth and bear it and hold on. for whatever reason#I don't know why I haven't give up yet. it's all arbitrary reasons like 'my friends would be sad if I was gone'#even in matters like these all I end up worrying about is what other people would think. not my own feelings#well. nobody has anything to worry about concerning me anyway. I'm too much of a coward to do anything#if I wasn't I wouldn't have lived to see my 14th birthday#and yet 4 years later I'm still here. wishing for an instantaneous way out that didn't involve me raising a hand against myself#because I really don't know how long I'll be able to take all this for. I don't have much left in me#I'm holding on by a thread. one too close to snapping. I'm scared of how few reasons I can come up with to keep going#I don't see a future ahead of myself. no college or uni or job or relationship or anything that might be worth staying around for#any attempts to imagine what life would be like after graduation are just.. dark and bleak and empty#I haven't got a single clue what I'm going to end up doing. maybe that's why I see so little worth in trying to figure it out#nothing in this world will make me truly happy. I don't have a future#and if I don't have a future... I don't have any reasons to stick around any further#if only I wasn't so much of a coward
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topaziraphale · 7 months
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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,
The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"
Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.
What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.
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moe-broey · 30 days
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One thing they don't tell you about the Senshi tulpa that WILL inevitably manifest in your mind to tell you to eat better is that. Every time I make myself a coffee via kuerig instantly, I can hear him. Lamenting the fact that I have become so accustomed to convenience and ease that even a standard coffee machine has become foreign to me. I am thinking about how to make coffee without use of a machine in the first place, I am wondering where my french press went, I can see him. In my mind. Showing me how to make coffee in The Dungeon. Dungeon Coffee.
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arsonist-chicken · 4 months
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Ah yes, "many good strategies and excellent research! Unfortunately, you seem to lose focus after a while...". There might be a Pattern in the way I work. Perhaps.
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