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slashersteve · 2 years

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Let's Kiss

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader

summary: It might be the end of the world, and you're for some reason worried about having never been kissed. Steve decides to change that.

warnings/extra tags: friends kissing tm, friends making out tm, reader spirals for a second here, gets a little heated but this isnt my nsfw blog, cursing, beta read, edited by me and autocorrect babey

note: forgive me for writing slowly :') i wanted to experiment with writing more kissing scenes and decided it was a perfect time for you to kiss steve till you were stupid. Thanks for reading and enjoy <3

✧ ✧ ✧

For the third time in your life, it felt like the end of the world, but unlike those times, this time felt as if it actually might be. And you were…not okay if you were being honest. Everyone who was piled into this stolen Winnebago that Eddie Munson hot-wired was not okay, but they seemed to be holding it together better than you.

When Steve Harrington drove into an open field so that you guys could properly prepare for your battle with Vecna, who was also known as Henry Creel, but also 001, you thought the fresh air would be just what you needed. You were wrong though when you thought of Vecna though, as the guy had shown Nancy some big, big plans of his that had to do with opening up a massive gate in the middle of Hawkins.

In response, you and everyone else here had big plans too, some that involved baiting him with a still cursed Max while the rest of you venture into the Upside Down to try and kill him before his plan could come to fruition. Honestly, it was a good plan, especially with Nancy basically leading all of you, and you couldn’t poke many holes into it…except for one…or some.

What if he didn’t take the bait with Max? What if Dustin and Eddie’s plan to distract the bats didn’t work? What if you step on a vine and alert the guy? And what if he literally knows everything you’re planning at this exact second and you’re all walking into a trap?

You don’t usually freak out like this, in fact, you had once prided yourself in your ability to be calm and collected in nearly every situation, but there must be something in the air right now or Vecna/Henry/One somehow got into your head or something because you were on the verge of a whole panic attack. Even Robin was more calm than you were (or at least appeared so).

“Preparation is key,” Nancy had said when going over your plan again when you questioned if it would actually work. And she was right, the first time you were in the Upside Down it was by chance (or force as the bruises around Steve’s neck still gave you uncomfortable chills and dread), but this time you’re going to be practically armed with all the shit you just bought at that angry hick store Eddie suggested while Max baits Vecna.

God, the thought of anything going wrong made your chest hurt, and you wanted to vomit all over the grass next to Nancy and Max’s feet as she sawed off the barrel of the shotgun.

“I’m- I’m going to go and change,” you said quickly before that could happen. They both glanced at you, and Nancy told you that was fine all the while it looked like Max could see right through you.

“She looks like she’s about to bail or something,” Max said, watching you make a beeline toward the Winnebago where Steve and Robin were currently sitting outside of.

Nancy hummed as she returned her focus on the felony she was committing and said, “I’m sure she’s fine.”

You didn’t say so much as a word when you went into the Winnebago and closed it, making Steve and Robin glance at one another before Robin was continuing to make their Molotov bombs with kerosene and empty alcohol bottles.

Steve’s eyes lingered on the shut door a little longer, noticing your odd demeanor, before reluctantly turning his attention back to the Molotov bombs as well.

It was in the Winnebago when things took a turn for the worse for you.

You had just finished changing out of your tattered clothing from your first trip in the Upside Down, and now wore the exact same camouflage shirt Steve was wearing and some new pants. You started to spiral, essentially, your thoughts coming at you fast and all at once, thoughts about what could potentially happen and go wrong, about possibly getting killed, which led you to think about a lot of the things you hadn’t done yet.

You wanted to graduate and attend the college you were already accepted to, then graduate from there, and maybe find a significant other there or something to at least experience that. It was just insane to you that you experienced what it’s like to breathe in the air of another dimension before anything inherently romantic.

It made you wonder if your life would ever be…just normal.

That was when the door was being opened and Steve was walking in without any regard to look specifically for you. When his eyes landed on you, they suddenly squeezed shut and he said, “Shit! Sorry! Were you changing? I’ll just-“ he blindly stepped backwards, knocking into the back of the passenger seat.

"It's okay! I'm done anyways," you told him, and he opened only one eye slowly before opening both.

"Still, I should've knocked," he laughed awkwardly as he stepped back into the Winnebago and said, "Molotov's are done, Eddie and Dustin's spears and shields are made, Nancy committed a felony...I say we're almost ready."

"Oh," you said a bit shakily, "So soon?"

He nodded, and said, "Yup, we should probably leave soon if we want to make it at sundown."

You dropped your eyes for a second, and forced the nervous exhale from coming out as everyone was on as much edge as you were about everything, and you didn't need to burden any of them with your doubt.

"Are...you ready?" Steve asked suddenly, and you glanced up at him.

"I-" you shut your lips to gulp nervously, then opened them again to say, "I...don't know..."

His eyes looked thoughtful as they stared at you, and he nodded, "Yeah...me either to be honest." He laughed weakly as he leaned on the side and crossed his arms.

You looked up and kept your gaze on him this time as he sighed deeply, "Just talked with Robin, and she thinks it might not work out for us..."

Your heart dropped, "Oh."

"But...she also said that we're crazy, and that...if we don't try and stop him then who will," he licked his dry lips for a second, "And she's right. Whatever happens...we win..or lose...at least we tried."

It was a bitter thought, to think that even if you go in prepared and ready for battle things can still go south. You needed to sit down immediately, and once you did on the couch in the back, you dropped your head in your hands at the thought of the endless possibilities.

"Is this what our lives have been leading up to?" you asked suddenly, voice quivering, "Battling a sadistic clock obsessed guy with powers like El and bad skin who snaps people's bones because he wants to open a giant gate to take over the world? What ever happened to normal lives, you know? Why hasn't our only problems been oh am I going to pass this physics exam or oh my god is he going to call me back? You know normal problems that normal people experience?"

You were rambling in a similar manner like Robin might, and it caught Steve off guard as you hardly ever did anything like that while Robin does it often.

Also, you already looked and sounded like you were defeated before the final battle even began, and Steve disliked that a lot.

"Hey, hey, we beat this guy? Then we'll have those normal problems," Steve tried to comfort you, "If this guy is really the big threat, and we manage to put him down, that'll be the end of everything...hopefully."

You moaned dreadfully, completely ignoring Steve, "There's just so much I should be experiencing, I don't understand why I experienced what it's like to climb up into a ceiling and fall out of the other side before I experience, I don't know, a first date? A first kiss? I know that stuff's not super important but still, it would be nice."

Steve tried to speak, but you were continuing on, your thoughts venturing to other matters besides yourself and it was making him even more concerned with your current state.

"And it's not even just me, like those kids out there? They're so young, one of them is literally cursed, like what the hell is up with that? It’s so fucked up!"

You were continuing to ramble and asking rhetorical question after rhetorical question that Steve had to actually go over to sit next to you and grasp your shoulders to make you stop and look at him.

"Hey!" he said, slightly shaking you as your eyes met, "All this is not helping anybody, especially yourself. I think the same things sometimes, and I wish I had some kind of explanation for you, but I don't even know it."

You stared blankly at him, and he sucked in a tight breath and continued to say, "What I do know is that we really don't have normal lives, and you know, at this point we just kind of have to to live with that-"

"But-"

"I also know," he cut you off, "That if we're going to go down there and try to put an end to this then we need to be prepared and level-headed you know? So...just...tell me what I can do to make you feel better."

His final request was odd to you, as you didn't know what he could do. He could tell you everything was going to be alright, but you'd know it was probably going to be a lie to try and calm you down. Steve knew as much as you did, and it sucked for a moment because you were expecting him to know more. Still, the question did make your heart swell up because of how genuinely nice he was, just being here with you and talking to you, wanting to make you feel better.

You instead took in a deep breath, trying to calm down the pacing of your heart stemmed from your blast of anxiety, and now the typical feeling you get when around the guy as you said, "You...you don't have to do anything. I'm sorry...you're right, tonight could be the end of the world, we're all nervous, but I'm the only stupid one ranting about never having kissed anyone."

You rolled your eyes at your own stupidity, and turned away from Steve to look at the ground.

Beside you, Steve shifted in his spot, and said "You don't have to apologize...I just almost lost you there for a moment."

You laughed weakly, but didn't reply.

Steve looked at you thoughtfully, and cleared his throat gently before saying, "For the record...I don't think you being worried about things like a first kiss is stupid."

"Yes it is Steve," you replied immediately, "In the face of the end of the world? Yeah...it's stupid."

"Well, I don't know, they're probably thinking about things like that too..." Steve trailed off, "Just because you're the only one voicing it doesn't make it stupid."

You pressed your lips together, and shrugged weakly at him in response as you leaned back on the couch now, the top of your head smacking lightly against the back window.

You weren't looking at Steve, because if you were, you probably would've caught a shift in his gaze that meant an idea was coming about, whether it was good or bad, you wouldn't have known until he said it.

And after a few seconds of silence, he did tell you, except you refused to believe you heard him right.

"What?" you asked, wanting him to repeat it so you don’t look silly.

He coughed into his hand nervously and said, "I could kiss you right now...you know...give you a sense of...normal or something...or to like…cross that off your list."

Steve wasn't looking at you as he repeated himself, which was just as well, because you felt your cheeks heat up and your jaw slightly drop. Not sure if he was just teasing you or something, you muttered, "Normal...normal friends don't kiss each other, Steve."

He laughed breathlessly, and ran his hand over his mouth for a moment before replying, "Friends do help each other though...also pretty sure we established we're not normal."

Now that made you laugh, not a weak or breathless one like before, but a genuine one and you said, "Yeah...that's definitely true.”

He was looking at you now, brown eyes staring right into yours and you saw then that he was serious about it, serious about kissing you and letting you experience at least that before tonight.

It wasn't like you hadn't thought about it before, if that warm feeling he always gave you when he was around, even now, said anything. You've thought about it even before you were friends, when he was a stupid jerk in high school who never looked twice at you but still made you weak in the knees.

After getting to know him more, you wanted to do more than just kiss the guy. You wanted to go on dates with him, hold his hand, make him laugh...all those romantic like things you've only seen in the movies. Would kissing him right now, in a moment like this, be a good move?

At your silence, Steve began to move to stand as he was saying, "God yeah, you're right it's not normal. I'm sorry I offered and made it weird."

Your hand was flying upward to capture his wrist gently, and when your eyes met, your thoughts went away as you realized you had made your answer already. You gave him a single nod, and then said, "Let's kiss."

His gaze remained on yours then, his expression softening slightly as he waited a few seconds before settling back down in the space next to you.

The atmosphere changed drastically then, the color within the Winnebago a pretty golden shade, bouncing off of Steve's face and his brown eyes as they bore into yours. You never really noticed how soft of a brown color his eyes were, maybe because you’ve never been this close enough to see them.

His next question had tore you out of your mesmerized gaze, asking you in a soft, quiet voice you never heard him speak in if you were sure it’s what you wanted.

You nodded, and said in a breathless voice, "Yes I'm sure."

Your heart was beating out of your chest, this time for the reason that any second now you were going to be kissing Steve Harrington, the once King of Hawkins High, and now one of your closest friends. You were nervous, and you were scared, but no more than you were scared about what might happen tonight.

He was just so close to you though, instead of the usual cologne he wore that drove you mad, he smelled like the earth and the pungent smell of the kerosene they used to create molotovs. It really proved that it wasn't just his cologne that drove you mad, it was simply him.

It was him just being here and this close that’s what made you this way, what was making you forget for a second that the end of the world was hours away. Your breath had even hitched and he gently reached upward to cup your cheek, a gesture that made you feel more heat spread across your face and chest.

His eyes flickered to your lips then as he began to move in, and you tensed up as you felt his lips gently graze over your own before they pressed fully against yours.

Though it was just a peck, just two lips touching, you practically melted in your seat when you felt his slightly chapped lips on yours. Your eyes even fluttered shut for a second, and any doubt of this being a bad idea faded at once as you returned the kiss.

When he leaned away from you after a few seconds, you opened your eyes to meet him and he asked with a small smile on the lips that were just on yours, "How was that?"

You were practically breathless as you replied something incoherent, and Steve tilted his head curiously at you, not understanding what you had said, and to be fair you didn’t know either. Your eyes fell back onto his lips, instead wondering if they were tingling like yours currently were, and wondering if he too felt the fire that he ignited in your chest by that simple kiss.

Steve had noticed your eyes had flickered back to his lips, and he exhaled deeply, and moved his hand underneath your chin to make you meet his gaze again. You blinked almost dreamily up at him, and he asked you in that same sweet, soft voice that would be added to your favorite things about him… "Want to do it again?"

Oh, how fast you said yes.

He didn't hesitate after your answer, pressing his lips fully onto yours to quite frankly give you another best first kiss of your life that you were sure nobody could beat even if they tried.

His experienced lips moved against your inexperienced ones, taking control and taking your breath away all at once. His lips were slow and steady on yours, gently sliding along yours and it was you who tilted your head gently in order to deepen it just a little more.

Steve's hand had moved from your chin, rather moving to the back of your head as he exhaled for a moment right onto your lips, and he asked, “Is this okay?” in reference to how quickly heated this kiss was becoming. You responded to him by leaning back in, and he chuckled as you recaptured his lips onto yours.

You didn't know what you were doing, since you've made it clear you've never kissed anyone, let alone like this, but it felt like you were doing something right as you tried to return his kiss with the same intensity as him especially when he hummed against you, his lips slightly vibrating on yours and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

When you felt the swipe of his tongue on your bottom lip, it sort of brought you back to yourself for a moment and he was leaning away again, his cheeks were a blush pink color and he said, “Fuck I’m sorry. We agreed on a kiss, and I’m trying to stick my tongue down your throat.”

He laughed awkwardly at his own words, and you could only sit there and stare at him all starry eyed, your prior concerns with the end of the world all but gone for even just a few seconds and you replied, “I…I don’t mind.”

Now you felt like the awkward one when he just stared at you, except you didn’t notice that his eyes were just as starry as yours, and then, the soft brown of his eyes shifted and darkened at your response and you were kissing again, picking off right where you left off.

Your lips parted and you felt him slip his tongue inside of your mouth, now really drinking you up and your hands flew upward to his sides, sliding them underneath his jacket and you felt him shudder against your hands as they touched his firm back above his shirt that matched yours.

The honest truth was you weren’t thinking about what this may imply, with how good Steve was kissing you and how intoxicated you both were quickly becoming on each other. It didn’t occur to you that Steve has probably been wanting to kiss you like this for a while now.

With your arms around him, you pulled him almost on top of you, your head smacking back against the window again as his tongue explored your mouth and all your worries just floated away as your mind was becoming fuzzy on him and the feeling he was bringing out of you.

“Steve,” you mumbled his name with a voice that was even unrecognizable to you, and it only urged him further, drinking up the next murmur of his name and you dragged your nails into his back (being wearing of his bandage) now feeling a sort of heat settling in the pit of your stomach as he practically devoured you in this Winnebago.

There was no telling where this might’ve gone, or how far either of you would’ve let it go, as Eddie was entering the Winnebago with a slam of the door saying, “Hey! So we’re- holy shit-”

The rest of his sentence was cut off at the sight of the position you and Steve were currently in. He had come in so fast and unexpectedly that neither you or Steve pulled apart quick enough so Eddie saw, well, everything, especially Steve nearly on top of you and his tongue in your mouth.

All you really could do was pull your lips apart from each other and look at the metalhead with similar, wide eyes.

“Uh…yes?” you asked awkwardly after a few seconds of silence, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment rather than whatever Steve had been making you feel.

Eddie stared at the both of you for a second longer before he cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, some of us need this to change in, so if you want to make out- there’s an entire field out there,” he gestured around almost dramatically, and you blinked a few times, “Right yeah, so I’ll give you guys a moment.”

Neither you and Steve could properly respond to him as he was out of the vehicle in record time and you could hear some mumbling after the door shut and then Dustin saying quite loudly, “What? No, they’re not together- wait- what?”

A harsher wave of embarrassment came over you this time, realizing what had just happened between you and Steve, how heated it had gotten from a single peck to Steve’s tongue in your mouth and you pulling him on top of you. Your eyes trailed back to meet Steve as he leaned away from you, and your hands were falling to your lap. You wanted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a flustered breath at the loss of warmth you felt underneath his jacket.

Thankfully, Steve spoke for you, and he asked after an awkward, light cough, “Are you uh- feeling better now?”

You sat up more, flashing your eyes toward him before you looked down at your lap, noticing you were twiddling your thumbs nervously and all you could do was nod. Steve’s eyes stayed resting on yours, and before you knew it, he put his hand over yours.

Your eyes lifted to meet him again, and you could see there was a small, almost shy smile on his lips before he said, “I think I want to take you out on your first date too, if we end up saving the world.”

Your heart skipped a beat at that, and asked stupidly, “As like…a friend thing?”

He chuckled at your response, and shook his head, “No…no not like a friend thing at all…to be honest what just happened…if it wasn’t clear that wasn’t a friend thing either, I’ve been wanting to do that forever.”

His cheeks were still flushed, and his voice was still soft and low, only wanting you to hear him. And the way he was looking at you? His eyes were so intense, so adoring. Has he always looked at you like this and you just never noticed?

You stayed staring at him with a soft, surprised gaze, genuinely taken back by all this, and you decided right then and there that you were going to kill Vecna/Henry/One just to go on this date with Steve and maybe kiss him like you just had until you couldn’t breathe anymore and without interruption.

#my titles are the worst i am SO sorry i can never match just hold me </3 #this might be one of the final imagines as i wanna focus on cant cheat fate #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #reader insert #female reader #lys writes again

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iyney · 6 months

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— STARRING - SCARA’S FRIENDS ♡

THE HEART TO MY ALBUM — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

✩— scaramouche : The top student in his class. He ranks a higher average than everyone else in his class, especially in math class with the extra courses and curricula he participates in.

✩— aether : The teacher’s favorite. The teachers adore Aether for his flexibility to help students and to be able to run errands for them when they are busy or attending to other matters.

✩— childe : Childhood friends with Scaramouche since they were 5 years old. Childe and Scaramouche lived in the same neighborhood which caused them to interact more than they wanted to, though Childe was more eager to be friends with Scaramouche while Scaramouche was more curious to see how long Childe could withstand his temper and behavior which led to them nonetheless being close with one another till this day.

✩— heizou : Bothers the teachers with his mysterious questions and tricky trivial questions to catch them off guard. Also blew up a science experiment when he was partnered up with Kazuha which led to Kazuha passing out from the amount of gas he consumed, but out of the kindness of Kazuha's heart, he forgave Heizou and the teachers forbid Heizou from doing any action in a lab experiment.

✩— kazuha : The calm dealer of the group, also the therapist for Scaramouche’s temper. Kazuha is somewhat like the mother of the group, he allows them to go wild while he's casually walking around with their bags on his shoulders and in his hands. Kazuha is very lightheaded so expect him to vomit whenever the group decides to take him on a rollercoaster.

THE HEART TO MY ALBUM » masterlist : previous : next

༉‧₊˚ SUMMARY: y/n was never passionate about her talent of being a violinist, mainly why she never spoke about it with grace in her words nor a shine in her eyes. But one evening, when she thought she would be alone in the music room, playing her violin. An indigo-headed boy accidentally finds his way into the humming room, following the beautiful tune that caught his ear, which turns out to be the second top student in his class, who ranks one rank lower than him and that's y/n. His presence, unfortunately, seems to go unnoticed by y/n as she’s merely focused on the strings of her violin as her fingers slowly prick the string down lightly — casting a soothing tune. Hearing this melody Scaramouche can't help but be intrigued by her aptitude and appearance that she seems to hold up very well. It was almost as if he wanted to know more about her, he had heard some interesting segments about her, and not just that but she had the second-highest score in their class. What else is there for this girl?

— taglist: @alatusorrow @veekoko @xtobefreex @scarasbaby @skyoverkill1 @iv-vee @7kkagami @1mewo1 @l3tus @hiraethhv @lovemari @feiherp @aruatsu @yoshhii @layla240 @phoenix-eclipses @0kauy @keiiqq @airorin @ridzu @saturnsapothecary @l1zzy-1s-c00l - if your blog isnt highlighted then that means i can’t tag you, please check your mention settings.

#the heart to my album ♡! smau #genshin impact #genshin impact smau #genshin impact x reader #genshin smau #genshin x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche smau #wanderer x you #wanderer x y/n #kunikuzushi x you #kunikuzushi x y/n

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clock-onyx · 8 months

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Introduction post because I forgot to make a proper one!!!

OK hi people!!! My name is Onyx, but i occasionally go by other names like One-One (or simply One) or Blades , Im autistic and an artist and animator AND a writer, Im also a minor (15)

I TEND TO SCURRY AROUND TAGS!!! I really like finding underrated artists... so if you found my blog from me screaming about your oc/art hi hello welcome HELP

I enjoy talking to other people about their ocs and art, so if you want you can hit a dm up to talk about that kind of stuff! But im a little bad at starting converstations, thats all 💔💔💔

I am in many, many fandoms, those are:

• The Last Guardian

• Shadow of the Colossus

• Adventure time

• Steven Universe

• Infinity Train

• Hilda

• MAG

• MLP

• Dungeon Meshi

• Shred force

(They mostly change so this may not stick around as it is rn)

I mostly draw object heads, humanoid characters and ocs, so if youre not into any of those and just came to see if i consistently draw a certain character from your favorite show or game, this isnt the place for that, sorry! :[

PLEASSSEEE TALK TO ME IF YOU LIKE OBJECT HEADS TOO I LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT OCS!!!!

CHECK OUT MY FRIENDS/THESE COOL PEOPLE NOWWWW!!!

@happy-drgntl

@catdragonstella

@interstella-eyes

@apavlovs

@frogg-water

@moon-blossomz

@calmovingcastle

I draw in various diffrent ways and may have some topics that are... darker and/or edgy, if any of these make you uncomfortable, do not stay on this blog:

• BRIGHT COLORS

• BODY HORROR

• SENSITIVE/DARK THEMES

• OPTICAL ILLUSIONS/CHROMATIC ABERRATION

• GORE ART

(Secretly a wizard)

MARMUR AND SOLON ILYSM ⬇️⬇️⬇️

DNI:

• People under 13 or over 20+ are on VERY thin ice, you can follow and text if you need help but dont try to be close with me if youre those ages

• Basic DNI list (Homophobia, transphobia, ableism etc)

• Proshippers are not allowed to interact with this blog, if you do youre instantly blocked

• Please dont be flirty with me if we just met thats just weird!!!

ILL PROBABLY LIKE REMAKE THIS SOMETIME ELSE I JUST DID THIS QUICK BECAUSE I SAW EVERYONE DID ONE ASWELL 😭 THANK YOU FOR READING THO!!!

#introduction #intro post #introducing post #IM SO BAD AT INTRODUCTION POSTS IM SORRY #yippie

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aceghosts · 1 year

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What's Your Literary Archetype?

Tagged by @clicheantagonist, @nightbloodraelle, @deputy-morgan-malone, @detectivelokis, @sstewyhosseini, and @fourlittleseedlings to do this uquiz. Thank you!

Sending tags to @jinfromyarikawa, @marivenah, @baldurrs, @astorythatwritesitself, @derelictheretic, @nuclearstorms, @indorilnerevarine, @direwombat, @captastra, @strangefable, @roofgeese, @confidentandgood, and anyone else who wants to do this!

Blue Murphy

the caregiver.

you've spent so long taking care of others, you don't know what to do with yourself if you aren't. you probably suck at taking care of yourself though, maybe you feel like you aren't worthy or deserving. but deep down, i know you wish to be cared for too. you want someone to show you that you are worth even just half the effort you put into caring for other people. dont neglect yourself.

Rooney Shepard

the hero.

i think you're pretty stubborn, which isnt always a bad thing. you probably tend to attach your value to your ability to help out; you feel worthless if you're not of use. you cant be strong all the time.

Hunter Delaney

the creator.

you're scared that you'll die and your entire life will just disappear into the void of history. you want to leave your mark, even if it's just a small sign that you were here. that you were alive. oh but you probably want it to be original to you, you're not interested in what has already been done. you want to create something new, and you wont truly rest until it comes to fruition.

Sawyer Beaumont

the magician.

well, arent you detached from reality. i dont mean in a delusional sense, i mean you purposefully distance yourself from everything and everyone. you have people you're close to, of course, but they're always kept at arms length. you're incredibly driven though, achieving your goals is extremely important to you. you feel trapped in the life you have now, it's not enough for you. you need more, always more. you are so hungry, and if you’re not careful, you’ll only end up consuming yourself.

Blake Maddox

the creator.

Riley Callahan

the lover.

you’re a bit of an idealist. you value emotional and physical intimacy (not always romantically), and you revel in what it means to be a human. you need relationships with other people to thrive, you have a lot of love and compassion to give. you’re an amazing friend, lover, family member, and those around you genuinely appreciate everything you have done and continue to do. sometimes it feels like you give more than what you receive, and that can really hurt a heart like yours. i promise that there are people out there that will love you just as much as you love them. loving and being loved is a burden, so don’t take on that burden for just anyone.

#tag games #Blue Murphy #Commander Rooney Shepard #I won't let fear compromise who I am #Hunter Delaney #Riley Callahan #Blake Maddox #Sawyer Beaumont #man this quiz just look Rooney in the eyes and went I see you bitch #they just got fucking read #also the Blue one is making me emotional #from protecting their mom as a kid from their dad to protecting Hope County #I'm deeply emotional #I actually like Riley's result #they do love a lot and sometimes are far more loving towards people than they should be #also i really like Sawyer's and Blake's too #I don't know that I agree with Hunter's #took it twice and I got the same result for them so ya know

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jackiesarch · 1 year

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— ocs as literary archetypes

tagged by my beloved @corvosattano @cptcassian @leviiackrman @roofgeese @jendoe @adelaidedrubman @chuckhansen @shellibisshe and @nightbloodraelle to take this uquiz to read some kids for filth, and well. yeah.

tagging @queennymeria @confidentandgood @loriane-elmuerto @unholymilf @florbelles @risingsh0t @marivenah and anyone else who wants to play!

— THE INNOCENT

this doesn't necessarily mean you're childish or naive! i think you're more of a hopeful person, maybe even a bit of an idealist. you might be the one who always looks for a silver lining, or tries their best to comfort and cheer other people up when they feel like shit. dont get stuck in a happy personality though, you're allowed to feel other things besides constant

— THE JESTER

i can guarantee you've said "the trauma made me funny" at least once. out of all the archetypes, you're the easiest to read. your emotions, thoughts, and feelings are so obvious to see, but somehow no one sees it, right? you're too independent for your own good. you have a tendency to overshare or vent unwittingly, but you always backtrack and cover it up with some kind of flimsy excuse or joke. you want someone to see that you are hurting too, but that can't happen until you stop brushing everything off and letting yourself feel it. but you're probably scared of being vulnerable, aren't you?

— THE HERO

— THE REBEL

you were probably made painfully aware of the reality of the world at an early age. this might have left you a bit jaded, but it mostly has made you angry. why do things have to be this way? is there really no way to change things, or are people just afraid to do so? you’re very stubborn and determined, sometimes too stubborn for your own good. don’t forget that your way isn’t the only way, be open to discussion. your heart’s in the right place though, and i admire your spirit. the world always needs more people like you, that’s how the course of history keeps on rolling. remember, even small changes can do so much for the lives of others.

— THE MAGICIAN

well, aren’t you detached from reality. i dont mean in a delusional sense, i mean you purposefully distance yourself from everything and everyone. you have people you're close to, of course, but they're always kept at arms length. you're incredibly driven though, achieving your goals is extremely important to you. you feel trapped in the life you have now, it's not enough for you. you need more, always more. you are so hungry, and if you’re not careful, you’ll only end up consuming yourself.

#oc: maura foster #oc: mark henderson #oc: harper rousseau #oc: nathaniel winters #oc: marisol aguilar #talk about getting read for filth #sorry kids #this uquiz stripped you bare for public consumption

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moss-selfship · 4 months

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Do you have a specific idea for a self insert to ship with Entrapta, any storyline etc?

i swear i had put the information about them here but i cant seem to find it? so either im wrong and just thought i did or tumblrs search function is ass (either is possible). but doesnt matter either way, ill explain it here. The explanation is under the read more as it contains some stuff im tagging with a trigger. as well as being long and not wanting to clog timelines Tw incest

STORYLINE So the first thing i want to get out of the way is they are siblings. yes this is a sibling ship, And there is a reasons why. Entrapta is a princess and we all know how royalty feels about incest (im joking, this is a joke XD) the real reason is that she lived alone her entire life. she grew up in her castle surrounded by machines and robots that raised her. she genuinely had no living family that ever raised her. so the idea of the only other person she was raised with being her brother, the only other person she ever really knew being him? well thats a bond that is so incredibly close and goes beyond what one normally expects. they are literally the only other person each other has known their entire lives. even as siblings its no wonder the feelings bloomed when the only other human being you ever interacted with growing up being your brother means the feelings between the two of you are extremely personal and isnt the same as everyone else. like sure there are the robots that taught her all the stuff she knows and TOLD her about society and how people act and stuff. or atleast how they are supposed to..but its not the same. pretending a robot is another person isnt the same. and sure they are taught about laws and societies and stuff..but doesnt really mean much in the end

Plus i mean we already know she isnt the most caring about laws and morals, i mean she happily joins the horde after she sees the advanced technological power they had as well as some "convincing" from catra. so even in the end she wouldn't care im her brother, or realize that its bad no matter what anyone said. To her it only made logical sense she would fall in love with the only other person she had ever known growing up and vice versa.

INSERT THEMSELF

My inserts name is moss aka "The Huntsman" , and as i said before he is entrapta's brother. ive taken some liberties with canon to expand more on entraptas family. See, in the story we have some books and audio recordings of our parents and are able to learn a little bit about them. Our father was a brilliant technological genius and he originally designed the robots that raised me and entrapta, and was the old leader of dryl and he had a deep fascination with first one technology. As you can imagine he is where entrapta inherited her genius and love of robotics and first one tech. She took to his research like a duck to water and sure enough she had an intellect to rival even his. I tried but it never clicked with me and i always ended up more confused than anything. Our mother was in tune with the wilds, combining her otherworldly tracking and hunting skills, the ability to control her hair like limbs, Her deep knowledge of the natural world, as well as her supernatural skill with a spear. She was the greatest hunter in all of etheria and she loves nothing more than the thrill of the hunt. I inherited almost all of our mothers skills and abilities and took to her teachings much more than i did our fathers (that was entraptas favorite as you can see, as well as her gaining our mothers hair powers.) and so i became the great huntsman like our mother had been the great huntswoman all those years ago. Entrapta was only ever interested in these teachings if it involved first one tech based nature. Design wise i feel like his outfit is a mix of furs and leathers with more advanced plating underneath (courtesy of entrapta) and even some augments that can improve my abilities (things like ability to hide my body temperature, muffle my footsteps even more, and change color to blend into environments).

#nature of the machine #shipcest

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daedalusdavinci · 5 months

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spell homestuck

GOD. THIS IS SO MUCH LONGER THAN TWO FACE. i typed too much and theres too many qs so under the cut it goes

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or....... i guess comics, these days, but i HATE READING COMICS they juST HAVE MORE COMPELLING FANDOMS. book fandoms are PUNY nad everyone is STUPID. youd think actual literary fandoms would have reading comprehension and understanding of literary critique but no!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally my eternal fuckign struggle. somehow comic fandoms hit the perfect medium between compelling, readable content and the enthusiasm of cartoon fans without the childishness of cartoon fans

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

this isnt really a thing i do. the only time i associate characters w songs is my own ocs. barbies theme is miltons tower from the what remains of edith finch soundtrack!

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i have also never really been one to project myself into stories. its just not how i consume media. i think sollux and rose already closely resemble the kinds of friends i make, so maybe them?

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

(freddy fazbear vc) vanessa.... ive done things, im not proud of.

i dont even know if i want to answer this question bc its so fucking humiliating LKJSNDLFSDNFSDF the truth is yes. i am solely responsible for. a lot. particularly in the pjo fandom. i created several crackships ground up all on my own way back in 2014 and developed a following for them and i. dont wantto tell you what those ships were. LSKJDFNSLDJNSDFSDDF ive also pioneered many ship tags for other fandoms and i ship a lot of rarepairs and stuff but i dont think im RESPONSIBLE for them?? in that some ppl already were into them/talking abotu them or tht theyre still not popular (augh. to the ones that became popular) but i AM liTERALLY responsible for some crack shit in the pjo fandom and its. it haunts me sometimes. i dont want to talk about it. IF YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID NO YOU DONT

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

this is so vague. my headcanons are shifting and nebulous and aus are my constant companion in everything, but uhhhhhhghhusjkdjnsdg i think. roxy writes the same way dave draws comics. its extremely memey and meta and self aware and largely just for the personal lolz, and were all doing her a disservice by pretending her writing looks like roses, when in reality dirk is probably the one whod make comics the way rose makes books (which is probably why he doesnt make comics). its more of that thing where roxy and dave are the same and rose and dirk are the same ykwim. well YOU dont corvus but im sure someone else does

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

jason takes after bruce in terms of like. adopting entirely too many kids. he broods

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

harvey is a heartwrenching character when written well, with a complicated view of morality, heartbreaking ties to our main hero, and a lot of internal conflict. something about such a hopeful character deadset on making a different in the system becoming a victim of it, and the potential he has as a vehicle for critiquing the law.

percy is my favorite character from pjo bc it was the very first time in my life i ever read a book and saw myself in it. hes aggressive, impulsive, and rebellious, he fidgets and has a hard time standing still, he acts on emotion without always thinking it through, he gets in trouble in school and hands his mom a murder weapon to kill his stepdad, hes just... hes a lot of the things ive always gotten in trouble for, things i couldnt help being, and hes a hero. he means everything to me.

vriska, i will maintain until the day i die, is one of the best homestuck characters- maybe just characters?- ever written. shes dramatic, shes impulsive, shes manipulative and mean and creative, and shes just so messy about it. shes a mean girl in a way that feels real, where her trauma impacts and shapes her as a person, and shes complex, with warring wants, and people she cares about, and dreams, and shes so messy. shes rough and rude and shes doing what SHE wants to, being a version of herself that feels right to HER, rather than some caricature of the hot badass evil lady. shes thirteen!! and she FEELS thirteen. shes a thirteen year old weird girl who is kind of an asshole, and she means literally fucking everything to me. shes a pirate!!!!! shes a swashbuckling badass dressing up in her larping outfit and yelling at her friends on the playground to swab the deck and she is the bestest ever, the end.

i didnt mean for each one of these to be longer than the last but here we are.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

i hate jdedave peace and love it just feels weird as hell to me. dave, for the most part, is hyper respectful of other peoples choices and boundaries but when it comes to jade hes always trying to mke choices for her, to protect her, and it gets to the point where even jade points out how much it bugs her. jades crush on dave also seems to come from a place of misunderstanding to me, admiring a lot of the parts of himself that he exaggerates and pretends to care about as a result of trauma. it always felt like a kid crush that they shouldve grown out of with time. dave also just sort of seems to... go along with whatever romantic relationships people push him into at that age, rolling with whoever flirts with him jsut bc hes trying to maintain the image of a player, so its really hard to take him seriously any time he hits on someone?

that is just my interpretation of it tho

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

well. i havent finished my reread of homestuck, so that feels difficult to comment on just yet, bc im sure ill have a different opinion when i do finish it. no one in dc gets character arc bc theyre all just undone immediately, so thats like. yeah. and in pjo the arcs are pretty weak bc 1) kids books and 2) RICK UNDOES THEM ALL. AUGH. regardless of all of this, i am going to say jason grace. he had a lot of development in like the last two hoo books, or maybe just like.... hints of how he couldve developed? promise? which rick immediately set fire to in toa when he killed him, but fUCKING WHATEVER. UGH.

anyway actually tho eleanor from the good place. bisexual icon. queen. probably one of the best character arcs of all time. the episode w her mom has some of the most powerful fucking dialogue ever and i think about it. all the time. i should rewatch the good place.....

#asks #redactedcrow

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s-starvoid · 6 months

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well... i mean, most of them are disordered, so... i will share them, and i doubt you'll mind, but you might have to trigger tag them, ha

thinking about a song that's often used in edits of people in love... and how that song is devastatingly sad to me. funny to think how i feel like actual happiness in love isnt achievable. not to mention how dare it be portrayed that its possible, flaunt other peoples happiness at me? and how some simple lyrics can have me question my very existence. why keep living if im so useless that i cant get any of that? ive been close to death at my own hand before, i know i can make it again

im tired, and bored of being nothing to apparently everyone. that might just be the personality disorders, though

isnt it pretty, though? i dont know. to be this broken is exhausting, but i hope its pretty to everyone else. there is no limit to things i would do to be loved and get attention

-🧸

hm “pretty” certainly is one way to see it,, i suppose there is beauty in seeing such a damned creature. i know yuki feels similar to how you describe; at times she relishes in their own ruins, like its fuel to fire.

personally it’s just a hassle for me. i don’t care much for my past or how it’s “effected” me. i am who i am, i’ll do what i want when i want whenever. it doesn’t matter to me how “broken” i am. i’m sure of myself and that’s what matters to me. being “loved” on the other hand is another topic. honestly i don’t think i can “love” per say. love to me means violence, pleasure, and suffering for someone else. and i can get those things without “loving” ya know? ugh my head hurts so ill be going back inside. ‘m probably gonna blow off some steam and beat someone up.

#was fun chatting #thanks for your thoughts~#kaz.answers

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macarensesangles · 1 year

Text

man. this isnt me venting its just a really long ramble about fictosexual stuff lol

i read this scholarly article about fictosexuality (first ever?) and it's really making me think. in particular i'm Thinking bc how i found it was through a new york post article, and i saw in the tag that recently there was also a docuseries that touched on fictosexuality as well. i'm wondering if it won't get more mainstream public exposure as a concept/orientation soon.

it's a topic i've been thinking about for a few years. when i used to be on the reddits it was something that came up a lot, like it seemed like every other day someone would be insisting they were planning to make a documentary or write an article or something and plenty of people on there jumped at the chance to do any sort of interview or participate in anything even the slightest bit "official" in order to make their case about why it's totally okay actually. a lot of people would discuss wanting to be more open about their relationships or for there to be a way to validate their legitimacy in the eyes of other, non-ficto people and so on.

i used to really hate it, honestly. not because i think anything's wrong with being serious about fictional characters (....obviously lol), but because i just felt like it was pointless. i didn't ever feel like it was something that would receive any kind of mainstream exposure like in documentaries or news articles or academic research or what have you to begin with. and like, tbh i infinitely preferred it that way. i always felt like trying to Advocate For Fictosexuality would ruin the sense of privacy that i always found particularly comforting. i always preferred feeling like it's a very closed community that few other people would ever notice or take interest in, and which was therefore relatively safe from masses of spectators, onlookers, gawkers, etc & co. i felt like the worst thing that could happen would be if some major news outlet published some kind of human interest piece about it and Suddenly Everyone Knew and it was a Topic Of Discussion Among The Uninitiated. can you fucking imagine?

anyway, i still hope that's going to continue to be the case, for the most part. i'd like more academic interest in the topic, but The Public is absolutely free to leave me the hell alone. i prefer keeping this kind of thing private. i used to really agonize about whether to say i was single or not, for instance, and now i'm like "just lie. say you're single. it's technically true as far as they're concerned and also your gay marriage with your anime boy is sacrosanct, so don't tell randos all about it." i sort of inhabit a halfway space where i simultaneously am and am not single and only sort of identify as fictosexual and aside from participating in communities and spaces geared toward or sympathetic to this sort of thing i Keep My Damn Trap Shut! and i think it would be a real bummer if one day i woke up and, like, Mothers Of Three On Facebook were posting about fictosexuality bc it was in the huffington post or some shit

it does kind of feel silly to me in retrospect however to assume that it's something that would remain completely obscure and secret forever. the same slow sort of public exposure has happened to plenty of other niche communities so there's no reason to believe people won't eventually just Know about fictosexuality to some extent the way they do about fanfic writers or furries or whatever else. Fucking mortifying but it could happen

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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 1 year

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i dont normally talk too much about my personal life on here apart from in the tags but today has brought me a lot of hope and i just kinda wanna share it

so im not close to my dads side of the family. i dont speak to him because he was an abusive fuckhead, and when i stopped talking to him, it basically broke my connection to the rest of them. i havent spoken to most of them in over seven years.

about a month ago, my aunt died. me, my brother and mom were iffy about whether wed be welcome at the funeral and wake because she was my dads sister.

i was also a bit iffy about going because in that seven years, ive come out as trans. and so everyone at that funeral know me as my deadname. they remember me as a little girl, and it does not help that i do not pass at all. i dont look like a dude at all.

and a lot of that family are middle aged and up, and the uk has a lot of transphobia, so logically, i assumed that thered be at least one transphobe there. so ive spent the past few weeks trying to prepare myself to be misgendered and insulted.

but that didnt happen.

everyone, including people ive never met, called me kai and used the correct pronouns. no one made any comments or asked any stupid questions; they just accepted me and got on with it. the most i got was my uncle asking how to pronounce kai.

the only transphobia came from my dad because again, fuckhead. i was prepared for it and honestly i didnt even care myself, but everyone else did.

every time he misgendered me or called me by my deadname, he was corrected almost entirely by people who werent me.

and everyone who did was angry, and they were angry for me.

and im fucking crying as i type this because i feel so loved and supported and cared for. i spent weeks preparing to shrug off the bigotry, grit my teeth and get through it. and instead, people i havent spoken to in years stood beside me and supported me. they didnt let my dad get away with misgendering me even though i was willing to myself. and i dont even know how to articulate just how much that means to me.

i think sometimes we all need a reminder that there are good people in this world and that the world isnt a cold uncaring place, and this was it for me.

#personal #transphobia #uk transphobia #trans #transgender #queer #queer stuff #god it just #it means so fucking much to me #aunt jeniffer is in her fucking 80s and she was ready to throw hands with my dad #when my mom mentioned to my aunt janet that my dad had called me by the wrong name #she turned to me and was like ''you yelled at him for it right?''#my mom was near to fighting him outside the funeral home #and my brother nearly punched him during the wake #god they were so angry about it #and it just fucking means so much to me because im so desensitized to transphobia that i dont even blink at being misgendered #but they were full of rage and fight #half of them barely understand anything queer but damn they were real allies today #also my dog has come to lie beside me because she heard me crying and wants to cheer me up #even though its happy tears

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alpacaparkaseok · 2 years

Text

Fic Authors Self-rec

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written/fics you’re most proud of, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

I was tagged by @ahundredtimesover and @ratherbefangirling a little bit ago and I’m LATE but this is the sweetest tag game! I chose a few that I maybe don't talk about as much (I've ranted and raved over 7 Secrets as it was my first series), some that I think those who want to dig through my masterlist might love just as much as I have!

How to Sell Sunshine (mafia au, reader is the mafia boss which makes everything better)

OBVIOUSLY I had to put this on the list. It's reaching its finale, I've been working on it for nearly a year, and it's been a wild ride that's pushed me to explore new aus and creativity. The story, the plot, is definitely my favorite. It's by far the most plot-driven of any of my series, and it's been so much fun to interact with everyone on this journey!

Cheap Seats (nosy neighbor!Jin, but hey, he pays half your cable bill so you're not complaining)

You know that one State Farm commercial where the girl sits by her open window of her apartment to watch her neighbors TV through their open window? Yeah, Seokjin is your nosy neighbor that pays half your cable bill in exchange for watching The Bachelorette through your open windows which are very close to each others. Literally one of my favorite ideas because Jin would totally be that neighbor.

Falling, falling (Slytherin!Tae x Gryffindor!Reader, so basically my dream come true)

YES. The possibly only?? enemies to lovers one shot on my masterlist (idk why. I love writing those.) which I did for a collab and I had so much fun with. I don't know if it was the setting (big HP nerd over here) or the fact that I got to dive into my Slytherin Roots™, but the dynamic between these two was a blast and I want more but that means I'd have to write more and I'm not doing that lol.

Sunkissed (greek gods au, Hobi being a better Apollo which is what the world really needs)

You know that feeling of the first ray of sun peeking through your window on a day when you awake feeling rested and at peace? That feeling that you wanted to capture in a bottle?? It's a short piece, one that I wrote out of the blue one day, and it feels soft and warm and tinged with just enough angst/spiciness that I reread it probably the most out of anything else on my masterlist.

Also, Hobi.

BTS Members as… (sometimes I ask you guys for random prompts, and I write up something small for it. BTS Member as months of the year is one of my favs and I aspire to capture the inspiration I had that day again lol)

Hi, it's me. Lover of all things angst and sentimental and finding meaning in months of the year. Proud of this one.

if you're curious, follow the link in my bio to check out my masterlist! there's a lot there to sift through, so good luck lol.

tagging: (and sorry if you've already been tagged for this, like I said I showed up late) @sor-vette @still-with-koo @parkdatjimin @park-jimin-isnt-real @btsroyalwilds

#about me #shamelessly self promotoing #bts author #bts fanfiction #it's decent I swear

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mental-health-advice · 1 year

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Alr, idk how we will solve the tag issue yet as we are very many alters so separate accs may not work but at least I can bring this up now knowing I didnt before!

--- Warning for talk ab delusions, kidnapping, Family abuse and stuff like that ---

Basically we did get emotionally, psychologically and probably more abused and in childhood before we even understood it was abuse we sometimes would think "well that cant be MY parent" bc of it. At age 8(?) We found out our dad isn't our biological dad.

After that I know we repeatedly thought we must have been switched at birth, kidnapped at birth or something else bc no way in hell could we be related to our mother. This went as far as us episodically actually being full on believing that she isnt our mother and often we were tempted to look through documents or go to the hospital we were born at to ask.

Note that our youngest half sister literally looks like a carbon copy of the body at her age. Like we literally have evidence we a re e related but we still keep believing she must have taken us.

The past days it was bad again, as I'm typing this I'm more in reality again but it's scary to think that any morning I could wake up believing that our mother is a kidnapper or that we were switched at birth or that none of our family actually are our family etc

I tried looking into it eatlier.

Most I found was new mothers suffering from delusions ab their babies being switched at birth and people having delusions that their families got replaced by clones (which,, I probably should have waited to read when I was more fully grounded rather than still half gone bc that makes me uncertain ab our abusive younger brother bc he cant have become that bad for jo reason etc)

Idk how to bring this up to our psychiatrist and therapist without them starting to think the entire system is just a delusion or hallucination as well :(

-- Crepe (☆)

Hey there,

This sounds to be a really scary predicament to be in. I guess in the situations that you feel as though you have been kidnapped or swapped at birth, just try to reassure yourself that these are just feelings and not necessarily the truth. Try to ground yourself, focus on your breathing and surroundings, remind yourself that you are in the here and now.

I am so sorry that you have been through so much abuse in your life and from such an early age as well. I want you to know though that sometimes remembering these abuse episodes or situations I guess you could call them, can be a good thing and especially if you are remembering them bit by bit and not all at once. The reason I am saying this is because remembering things slowly can allow you to slowly heal from this past abuse with your psychiatrist and therapist. This will take time though and a lot of hard work and working through abuse may bring other things up as well, but keep in close contact and update your psychiatrist and therapist on a regular basis and I know you can work through this at all your own paces. Of course though, it may be too soon to work on any abuse issues so please do talk to your psychiatrist and therapist first before starting anything!

Abuse can affect people differently and sometimes abuse can even run in families. For example, my Dad’s Dad (I cannot refer to him as anything more due to abuse I suffered from him) was sexually and emotionally abusive and the emotional abusiveness went down to my own Dad and his brother. This is not to say that abuse runs in everyone’s family but it is possible. So I guess what I am trying to say that maybe your younger brother was also abused or the abusive side of things or what he saw happen to you made him think it was OK to abuse others in that same way. Just something to think about!

Back to the delusions now though and how you could bring this up with your therapy team! I think that what you wrote was really well said and so maybe writing something similar in a letter maybe helpful to share with them? It will help for them to better understand where you currently are and how best they can help you all right now with knowing that important information. Would you feel comfortable writing something down? If not, then just try to explain things as you have done on here. It’s OK to feel how you are, being confused or delusional at times. None of this is your fault, and none of this means that your entire system is just a delusion or hallucination and I think your psychiatrist and therapist will know that just from knowing you and your history and especially if you have been seeing them for a while. The horrible thing about DID is that sometimes things come up in pieces that don’t quite make complete sense, this is normal. So please don’t worry!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help support you guys in any other way!

I’m thinking of you all and hope you are all going as best as you can be!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #Crepe (☆)#DID #system #alters #abuse #delusions #halucination #psychiartist #therapist

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cmyknoise · 1 year

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I posted 22,892 times in 2022

That's 3,071 more posts than 2021!

1,571 posts created (7%)

21,321 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ghostly-tart

@chekhxvsgun

@fundylive

@rgbheart

@sajdd

I tagged 2,378 of my posts in 2022

#lemon's stuff - 1,073 posts

#dsmp - 291 posts

#dream smp - 287 posts

#lemon answers - 236 posts

#wilbur soot - 218 posts

#lemon’s stuff - 171 posts

#tommyinnit - 124 posts

#ask - 106 posts

#anonymous - 94 posts

#lemon draws - 91 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

I’m still angry that the bedrock edition, on all ports, has NO subtitles. No closed captioning, nothing. That is an exclusive feature to bedrock.

Especially with the addition of the warden and all the very sound sensitive aspects that came along with the deep dark.

Java players get the ability to see when a warden moves or sniffs or starts to attack. They get the ability to see if they’ve set off a distant sensor. Things that are so vital for this update.

Bedrock players dont have subtitles at all, and somehow this isnt a priority for them to add? Bedrock has been out for ages. Java has had subtitles for ages.

Arguably, with Bedrock platforms being consoles and phones, it’s harder to see or hear things and would need something like subtitles.

But the fact that such a vital accessibility feature is continuously ignored on these ports of the game is absolutely insane, especially with how big of a userbase minecraft has.

Edit: Here’s a link to Minecraft’s feedback posts where users can vote on things that they want looked at or implemented in the game. Please vote here, having basic accessibility is a must. Check the reblogs of this for more info I posted.

2,289 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

"why did you die?"

“I was very sad.”

Singlehandedly probably one of the best things ever from that stream, and that is so much coming from a superb stream.

"Why did you die?" is so reminiscent of a question a child would ask if their parent had died, whether from suicide or other means (in this case, suicide).

It is a question of anger and frustration and pure not understanding. it's the same thing a kid would ask because they don't understand how a person could hurt so much to do that, or how they could leave them.

Fundy was angry and mad because Wilbur left him. he didn't know why he left him, he didn't know or understand why they couldn't do something else, anything else. He didn't know that Wilbur was hurting, he didn't know, and in those moments he didn't care. it's the question from a hurt child.

In that moment, that's what he was. a kid suddenly very alone in the world, knowing that the only person he had just left him, and everyone after would follow suit.

"I was very sad." Is such an... honest answer. It suffices. He doesn't have to say 'i was paranoid, i was depressed, i was tired, i was hopeless'. He said what was true, it weighs just as much as everything else simply because it's a fact not many people knew or picked up on.

Wilbur was honest with his intentions in Pogtopia, but not his feelings. When he was revived, he also made such a point to pretend he hated something just to keep up this sort of image that he never cared and that it hurt him how much he cared. But... that's the point. He was sad, and he was hurt.

Not only is this a punch in the face hearing Wilbur say this, but it's the only real time we've heard him say much of anything about what he felt during Pogtopia (similarly to Tommy and his silence on exile. in my opinion, this felt very similar to 'it was a wiggly time in my life).

But it also fits in line with the previous comparison. It's such a simple explanation that someone may use to explain to someone, like Fundy, who didn't understand why someone would leave them in that way. It's similar to how a family member may explain to a child why their parent is no longer with them.

It's not too detailed or grim, but it's not lying or sugar coating it. It's simple, and true, and an answer that Fundy, all too clearly, understood.

It's even more impactful, gut-wrenching, with the follow up question,

"Why couldn't we walk away? Just you and me?"

2,324 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

tumblr_video

[ Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses plays very loudly in the background ]

Tubbo: OOOH!

Tommy: Here’s what we’re gonna do detective Tubbo!

Tubbo: What’re we gonna do?

Tommy: We’re gonna solve cases! We’re gonna figure out where Shrouds gone. We’re gonna figure out where Dream has gone.

Tubbo: WE’RE GONNA SOLVE ALL THE PROBLEMS

Tommy: This isn’t just a coping mechanism because of the immense amount of trauma I’ve been through!

Tubbo, speaking over Tommy: This is our true purpose!

Tommy: I’m not massively concerned about the location of Wilbur and Dream and the many things that are completely out of my control!

Tubbo: It’s gonna take months, it’s gonna take days!

Tommy: Days!

Tommy: And I promise you Tubbo! This isn’t just another one of those ploys because I’m sad.

Tubbo: No, we’re not compartmentalizing anything!

Tommy: We’re not compartmentalizing, we’re taking this full force!

2,461 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

not prepared for grown ass adults to bully children and teens for the next few days bc of vidcon panels.

there is no cringe. shut the fuck up this is a fandom panel. dumb questions are fine. cosplayers are fine. as long as they’re not asking invasive questions or being rude they are fine, but even if they do those things they dont deserve to be harassed and called names and shit.

this is going to be the first convention and panel for so many people. they’re going to be nervous, they may not think through the best questions. who the hell cares.

just don’t be an asshole to these people

2,747 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

maybe somewhere, things were different. maybe their promises of running away wouldn’t fall through.

context & bonus under cut!

anyway! enjoy a piece from a runaway au (that i may or may not write, who knows).

essentially, tubbo gets a broken van from wilbur, fixes it up, and without telling anyone he takes ranboo, tommy, and michael with him and they run away. somewhere better. they drive past spawn, stop for a wilburger on the way out, and drive off until roads don’t exist, until its just them, dirt, and the woods. good thing tubbo tricked the hunk of metal out to handle it.

they drive for a long time, stopping to get supplies occasionally, but they don’t stop until they find somewhere nice. somewhere far, safe, hidden. home. they stop once they find home.

anyway here’s the drawing with less dramatic lighting if you want to see the details!

See the full post

3,435 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #lemon’s stuff

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godshideouscreation · 2 years

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Sorry this secret is long, every time I try to rewrite it this happens, dont feel obligated to post this I just keep seeing your tag and this is the biggest albatross around my neck no contest, so... *deep inhale*

I had a really rough falling out with a long time online friend. It was a few years ago at this point but it hit me really hard. In retrospect it was a pretty toxic friendship, I loved them to pieces, and they only Sometimes reciprocated when it was convenient for them, and whenever it wasnt they spoke as if I meant nothing to them and always recontextualized our whole history. I kick myself for ignoring all their red flags.

The final straw was the last time we tried to hang out in-person. It was the 2nd time I was visiting, last time was fun so I was excited. I had been talking with them and their partner and we were gonna hook up and it was all chill, but at Some Point in the months before my visit something changed their mind and they just...didnt tell me. I still have no idea why, after Years of plantonic friendship and honestly not even That much sexual stuff (we'd go months and months with no nsfw talk or pics or anything it was fine that was obviously Not why I was friends with them) and suddenly they accuse me of being some kinda sex pest. The kicker: I Was in-fact able to correctly read the room and didnt attempt to have sex with either of them, but I didnt read it well enough.

When I got to their place I immediately felt the vibes, and knew I wasnt gonna be up to anything. But like Oh Well I just wanted a chill weekend with my bestie. They never brought Anything up with me so I said to myself "maybe that other local friend they were complaining about recently pissed them off and theyre stressed out, im sure if it was something serious they'd tell me." I Should Not Have Been Sure Of This.

So while I knew they didnt want to fuck, I had no idea they didnt want Any kind of affection or platonic touch from me anymore, and it wasnt until A Week After I Left I DM'd them asking why they were being so cold and distant wit me and they Finally told me how uncomfortable I apparently made them and their partner the whole weekend. They went the Whole Weekend pretending they were having a grand ol' time and could have absolutely at ANY point tell me "Hey actually Im not feeling super touchey right now" and like Boom Problem Solved We Are All Adults Please Communicate With Me.

Again, why after Years of open honesty and communication from me they suddenly accused me of only wanting sex from them and of doing predatory shit to them and their partner when they made No attempt to re-establish their new boundaries with me before or during my trip.

Honestly in that moment I was too emotional and freaked out to have a very healthy conversation with them. It was a long ugly back and forth but I was finally like I cant do this. We cant be friends. And we parted on Supposedly Amicable terms cuz like weve both had friend-break-ups before lets see how we feel down the road, but like the closeness is Gone for sure.

Even Then they still werent being honest. I actually blocked them on social media for a while just to cool my head and not have to see them. But when I tried to follow them again THATS when them and all their closest friends blocked me which was very ???? to me. Smash-cut to last year I had a friend DM me, Thankfully after I had already left twitter cuz fuck twitter (i am sadly back on twitter 😒...), saying my now ex-friend was painting the whole ordeal as an attempted sexual assault or whatever. When I wasnt even trying to fuck that whole time!!

They have a lot of trauma in their past that isnt mine to share, and I Dont so I always deferred to them on it, trusted they werent abusing that victimization to escape their responsibility as an adult to be more communicative with me, but I have other people in my life with similar pasts who assured me later "No, thats no excuse, they cant blame everyone else on their own social problems, fuck that." I spent a whole year losing sleep over the ordeal. WAS it my fault? Was SOME of it my fault? Was NONE of it my fault? Was it Anyone's fault??? I'll probably never have a satisfying answer.

But since then Ive transitioned and dont even look the same or go by the same name, but still have some friends we shared and hang out in a couple online social circles where I hear about their partner sometimes who lied to me even harder than they did about still being cool with me when they absolutely were not (when I told them they never said they didnt want to have sex, they brought up when they told me they were on their period and THAT was supposed to be my only hint, even tho they pretended to be really broken up about it as-if we'd have fucked otherwise????? Childish, anyway). Im always slightly paranoid they'll stumble upon me and realize who I am and try to force me into hiding or whatever when I've done literally nothing to them since they blocked me. Because apparently their version of what happened only got worse since then, so clearly they hold a grudge, and Im just some random trans bitch online minding my own business.

Normally I'd write it off as paranoia, but as you can tell just from this one example, and there Are other stories, any time I wrote off a hyper specific fear of them not telling me something as just paranoia and would eventually confront them about it, itNever was and they would always make my fears be true. They Always prove me right. They really fucked with my head...

Again, sorry for the length, it all just comes falling out of me when I try to be brief about it all.

It's okay! I really hope that venting about stuff has given you some slight piece of mind. I've met a lot of people online over the years and to keep it short, I'll just say that not all of them are what they seem. A lot of my friendships were really fucking one sided. They weren't genuine, people lied to me and used me for whatever. It definitely sucks when people hold grudges or make up lies about you, I've been in that boat before too. But the people who know you, know that you're not that kind of person. You have to have faith in the people around you.. Idk people present this persona online but like, we're all different from how we present ourselves online. It's weird to be friends with grown ass adult people who don't know how to honestly and openly communicate though. Some people legitimately do not have those skills. And I hope that you get to keep your peace now that you're not talking to those people anymore. Hopefully they won't recognize you since transition and if they do, they just stfu and leave you alone! You know your truth & all you can do is live with it. Know that you're better off without those people. Don't be sorry and you can always come in my ask box to vent! Sometimes we don't get closure on a subject and the best thing we can do is give ourselves the closure of not thinking about it or worrying about it anymore. I know it's easier said than done though 😅

#tell me your secrets

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