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#don't come for me I never write stuff out properly
therockymarrow · 2 months
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Hello -
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It's still very much a work-in-progress, but I think that the Rot in the Dark One-Shot that I've been using to figure out how The Homebrewery works is finally good enough that I'm not totally embarrassed to post it.
Hopefully going to playtest this in the next few days and then adjust it again. But for now it's ok-ish. There's a lack of credit where it's due and images (or both). But if you like to look over this kind of thing please feel free to give it a gander.
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13eyond13 · 1 month
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one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh
#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun#to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things#here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw#neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll#have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both#in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book#i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly#i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...'#also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either#ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where#the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way#that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes#and some of neil gaiman's stuff#but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much#to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way#to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does#what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm#oh hp lovecraft hahahaha#least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb#like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like#yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it#also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me#p
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torajira · 2 years
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what's up subscribers it's like 3:30 so i'm gonna journal a little!
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#gnashes#things are slow and fast at the same time. let me explain:#my new job starts on october 17th (my mum's birthday actually) and this is. a big deal.#for one‚ it's my first job ever! secondly it's sn office job with like. good pay. like great pay in fact given i still live with my parents#and stuff‚ so absolutely COLOSSAL changes are coming... just‚ not yet!#the wait is the hard part‚ because that's when doubt manifests. what if i can't handle it‚ what if i have no free time anymore‚ blah blah#i've been doing my best to quell those feelings though‚ mostly by keeping myself distracted.#that's partly why i've fallen back into yakuza again in a manner that might suggest i have an anvil attached to my ankle!#(also last time i got into yakuza i couldn't properly because... nvm i cba explaining)#my computer is still having complications unfortunately. but the cpu+motherboard are still under warranty‚ so right now i'm just fighting#with amazon to get them replaced. so again it's just! a waiting game unfortunately!#my sleep schedule is completely DESTROYED at the minute.#i really need to get that in check before october#my main focus right now‚ project-wise‚ is the newport project. i've been reworking it again‚ rejigging arc 1 and 3 especially‚ but my main#goal at the moment is a new name actually! i never liked 'the newport project' anyway and it was always intended to be a working title‚#not to mention‚ now that i'm doing a tnp rewrite (still doing that btw!) it's SO confusing having 2 ongoing projects with the same acronym#i keep clicking into my new prophecy folder instead of my newport project folder on gdrive and vice versa 🙄#i'd really like to share more about it soon!#it's funny how much of it is fleshed out even though like 90% of the characters don't have designs yet. i guess thst just means i'm more#focused on the writing itself‚ which isn't exactly a bad thing.#but yes! i should. share some stuff#uh if you read this far i'm kissing your hands like you are nobility and i am a lowly peasant boy
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cal-flakes · 2 months
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omg !! rate (dealer or not i don't mind !!) spoiling reader after she's had a tough n emotional week :( projecting rn !! ilysm and ur writing is amazing !!
so sorry it’s so late! i’ve only just started properly writing again :( love ya
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— “y’okay kid?” a gruff mutter echoed from outside the bathroom as you lay still, eyes so focused yet so withdrawn as you watched the way your fingers floated in the now lukewarm bath rafe had run earlier. huffing meekly in agreement, you listened intently as his footsteps shifted, lingering for a moment. “be back soon, alright doll?” he called once more, secretly wishing for more than a distant sigh. “m’kay” you whispered, resting your head back against the cool tile.
rafe cameron was many things but never a liar, well — never to you at least. he said he’d be back soon, and back soon he was. yet, it felt like hours till you heard the familiar sound of his heavy footsteps, alongside a not so familiar rustling.
you saw it coming, the stuff knocks on the bathroom door once again, that didn’t mean you were pleased to hear them. the thought of getting out, or even just moving was exhausting, especially after such a long week, or the week of hell as you’d named it earlier, earning a sympathetic chuckle from your love as he adjusted himself in the drivers seat, ready and waiting to pick you up from work.
“c’mon darlin’ you gotta get out now, waters cold” he stated firmly, much unlike his earlier pleas. “m’coming” you huffed. “i’ma leave you to it, meet me downstairs”
it wasn’t uncommon for rafe to be so matter of fact with you anymore, he’d sharp learned that pleas and coaxing does nothing for you, never as beneficial as simply telling you.
patting the last layer of your skincare into your face, you turned slowly to open the bathroom door, eyes widening as quickly as the could as you took in the arrangement on your shared bed — tulips, pink ones specifically, chocolates, all splayed out beautifully, laid carefully beside — a teddy bear?
“rafe?” you queried, feet padding against the cold floor, pace much quicker — bouncier even now that you’d festered for a couple of hours, recharging. “yeah doll?” he hummed from the lounge, throwing his head back over the couch to look at you, lips quick to turn upwards as he noticed the new plush hanging from your grasp. “another one?” you beamed, quickly rounding the cushioned chair, all but diving into his lap — in which he was quick to catch you, placing numerous soft kisses to your freshly combed hair.
“s’nothin, just remembered you said you needed an new addition, n’you’ve had a shit week, jus’ thought it might help..” he spoke, slender fingers raking through your hair as you lay in his lap, glossy lips and glassy eyes peering up at him as though he’d gifted you the moon.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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hmmm this uh. vent in tags doesn't pertain to anyone here though okay, it's really just a Me problem bcs i rlly appreciate you all so much but i can't help but be like this :<< (working on it though)
#🌙.vents#just thinking a bit n thought i shld write it down bcs i've always really have wondered what's rlly real n not#i'm a bit of an idealist at heart but i'm v much also a realist. i may be swimming in the deepest depths of oceans but i always know where#the shore. perhaps i am a moon and perhaps there rlly are those who love me like that but#i can't help but oft feel that ppl only like sides of me. or perhaps their images of me. idealized to their preferences n needs#to some ppl i've felt from them that i have to be like This so they'd love me. or they only care abt what they can get from me n i'm left w#receiving nothing at all. when i do receive stuff it then feels foreign. n even for those who rlly do care#it hurts bcs ^^ all that is solely my fault. for thinking this way.#i cld break out of it but maybe i don't bcs i think i don't deserve it. to inflict this pain and choose and grasp on it unto myself to#idk smth w all my burdens n regrets n mistakes. no matter what good i do; the past will never be erased. i'll live to atone but i'll never#properly let myself live; is that it? i can't accept a future or reality for myself bcs of the scars of my past n the reality that shldve#been if i wasnt so incompetent? if i was better if i was good enough if i wasnt so afraid to reach out n if i hid when i should have. if i#did all that perfectly. but i'm human n we all are n we make mistakes. i can pardon others i can understand n help them but not for me#it hurts i wish i cld do more for those that r just as deserving but don't receive it. if i'm the moon n you don't know my dark side#then they're the sun that blinds you to see. i hate this world so much#i'm stuck. when it comes to my own self n when it comes to ppl that.. idk rlly have done stuff for me i#i can't help but wonder if it's just for who they think i am n not for who i really am. maybe that cynism is due to old friendships where i#was neglected. like one friend that i feel used from. or another that broke their promises. n i've made my own mistakes too but i have thes#scars that tell me i'm not worth staying for. i'm not worth pushing or digging deeper for others to love the whole me. reciprocation is onl#one-sides; from me to others. but that's dumb too i barely do as much as i shld as i wish i cld as i want to do for others#maybe all we need to do is accept that we're all human n communicate authentically n honestly n openly. trust#but then i think of myself undeserving of it. n i shld fix that. i've been better before i rlly did have that sometime earlier this year bu#i've been falling apart once more. i shld fix this n i know i can but my helplessness regarding other aspects of my life n others burden me#not that others shld be my responsibility before my own in this stage of my life. but i need to give. more than doing things for others for#the sake of myself but More because i really just care for those in my life n i think they deserve so much more.#i wish i was better so they cld have more. fuck if i sacrifice myself i rlly wish i cld do more for others#for my parents. my twin. my friends. for the ones who have stayed despite my shortcomings. who have reached out in any way#i love them all do much n i have to be better bcs i want to love them back properly.#dilemma though bcs sometimes i do get unsure if it's even real at all. but at my heart i know most of it is. but then. hfksjfsjfs#it's not simple at all. it's v complex in fact bcs we're human n this is the real world. there's sm more i can't write. i have stuff to do😭
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in-som-niyah · 28 days
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hi!! i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day 😭😭 i was wondering if you could write something about jason x fem!reader getting married? mostly fluff but ill never say no to some good smut
a/n: "i’m literally so obsessed with your work i’ve been scrolling your profile all day" WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNNN STOP UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME HELLO??? like wdym u like my work so much u spend so much time on my blog i love u gimme kiss
anyway this prompt is *chefs kiss* bc we all know Big Bad Jason Todd™ is such a loverboy softie but most of all he loves hard.
I think that before he met you he never thought that he would be so enamoured with someone who also feels the same way about him at the same time, that also wants to marry him??? He thinks he's too flawed and violent and abrasive for someone to even like being around him. So marrying him??? haha you're funny.
But after YEARS (yes, it takes him years of a committed relationship with you to fully trust that you actually like being with him for an extended period of time, let alone forever) of handling his emotions, outbursts and injuries with grace while still giving him a whack at the back of his head when he's being stupid, he considers marrying you.
Remember, Jason Todd is fucking scared himself, and he doesn't want to scare you off with a ring that literally promises forever with him. Though he loves you, he wants you to be happy in the end. Will you be happy with him in the end?
It takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to overcome these fears that swirl around his head.
When he does get over it though, he's so attentive yet sneaky when picking your ring. There's a luxury jewellery store on the way to your favourite clothing store at the mall, and he literally takes you to the whole mall just to pass by the store. He always looks to see what your eyes catch, what you like and don't like. Doesn't matter if he ends up spending hundreds since you're at the mall so much, he'll do it just to make sure he gets exactly what you want.
Jason also uses his extensive detective training to find out what cut and stone you want on the ring. He's ok with diamonds, but would want something more unique and personal for his love. He wants something that always reflects you, no matter the occasion.
Side note: once the ring comes he would definitely put together a photo album of pics he took of the ring in plain sight while you're completely oblivious just for shits and giggles
Finally, when it's time to pop the question, he doesn't do flashy and big productions with lights and letters and petals and stuff.
He would be dancing in the kitchen with you on a lazy Saturday, eating pancakes and bacon and when the song ends just casually asks "if I were to ask you, would you marry me?" Now he looks collected as he lovingly smiles down at you but is actually shitting himself until you say that you would in fact marry him if he asked. Then he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the most perfect, detailed, gorgeous ring you could ever ask for while properly asking you to marry him. Cue the waterworks (from both of you) and the celebratory make-out sesh.
Y'all definitely fucking the night of the proposal though
I feel like it would be realllllly possessive since yk you literally belong to him now
"tell me who this pussy belongs to, pretty girl" Knowing full well you can't answer because your eyes have already rolled back mid-stroke and you're babbling incoherently. It does, however, put a smug ass smirk on his face.
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a/n pt2 bc i can't shut up: i hope u like it!!! i wasn't in the mood to write anything smutty but idk im in my soft era for jason i just want his stoic self to love me :(((((
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hellodarling1357 · 3 months
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#26 for the Cassian thing where reader is an IC member too and maybe them and Cassian have been seeing each other in secret for a while but Cass doesn't wanna tell anyone yet because he doesn't wanna mess up the dynamic or make things awkward for the rest of them but then all the stuff happens and Nesta comes along and reader's just sad and pissed because they're worried Cass is in love with Nesta now and secret plot twist oh no reader knows them and Cass are mates but it hasn't snapped for him yet so reader is losing it inside but obviously they can't tell any of their closest friends because Cassian still wants it to be a secret
even if you don't want to write this I hope you're having a great day/night ✩
Forever Tied - Cassian x Reader
Hello hello 🥰
The original prompt list I reblogged has disappeared for some reason so now I have no idea what #26 actually was but I did my best with the request you sent me so hopefully this still works, sorry Anon! I've made it extra long to make up for it!
Hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 9.3k
Rhys was trapped Under the Mountain and there was nothing you could do to help. You had crumbled upon hearing his voice in your mind that last time, having no idea what this meant for your friend, your court, or even for Prythian. You hadn’t even realised you had fallen to your knees until a familiar, warm body had knelt next to you and pulled you into their shaking arms.
Cassian had been in the city centre of Velaris when he had heard, all plans for the day disappearing as the realisation of what had happened hit him full blast. Without thinking, he flew back to the House of Wind, unable and unwilling to process this alone. Although, subconsciously, there was really only one person he wanted to be with in that moment. Azriel would have distanced himself upon hearing the news, Amren was at her apartment, and Mor was at the town house, leaving only you in the House of Wind.
He stumbled in his rush as he landed on the balcony and raced inside. His heart broke even further at the sounds of muffled sobs that echoed towards him. In a blind haze he followed the sounds and found you on the ground, as though your legs had completely given out, unable to bare the weight of what had occurred. Without thinking, Cassian was beside you, pulling you into his arms as he rubbed soothing circles across your back, despite the way his own hands shook as tears threatened to burn at his eyes.
Your breathing eventually evened out, the only trace of your tears were the tracks along your cheeks and the redness of your eyes. Turning in his arms, you looked up at Cassian as though only just properly noticing that he was the comforting, warm presence that brought you back from your distressed state.
“We have to do something,” Your voice was a croaked whisper, “I know he said he put up a shield, but there has to be something we can do to help.”
The shaky inhale of Cassian’s breath told you enough. He didn’t think there was anything that could be done. Truthfully, you didn’t either.
You looked at your friend in awe as a singular tear streaked down his face, followed by another, and another. In all the centuries you had been friends, the sight of the male in front of you crying was one you had very rarely witnessed.
“Cass,” You lifted a hand to his face, gently brushing away his tears. Cassian was always the one who held everyone and everything together, and if this was the one time he openly showed he needed someone else to keep from falling apart, you would more than willingly be that person for him. “It’s going to be okay, alright? We’ll figure something out. And Rhys… well, it’s Rhys. He’s going to be just fine.”
The watery smile you gave him didn’t quite meet your eyes, the expression quickly replaced with alarm as Cassian’s breathing quickened, eyes screwed shut as though trying to compose himself. This you had never seen. Cassian completely losing control, his body shaking against yours as sobs escaped his throat.
“He’s gone,” The strangled sound that came from him had your heart splitting in two. “Amarantha, she will…she’s already…” He couldn’t seem to find the words, or couldn’t bear the thought of saying what was running through his head with Amarantha being involved.
“We’ll get him back.” You soothed, hands reaching up as you guided his head into the crook of your neck, fingers running through his dark wave of hair.
But he wasn’t calming, if anything, Cassian found himself spiralling further and further out of control, the emotions and the ‘what ifs’ sending him into a state of panic where even your comforting presence could do nothing to sooth his hyperventilating breaths, the tears, and the shaking that racked through him.
“Cass?” You pulled back, trying to force him to look at you. “Cassian? Hey, I need you to open your eyes, just focus on me, okay? There you go. Now just take in one deep breathe, alright? Just one, that’s all I need you to do. Okay, and again. You’re alright. We’re alright.”
Cassian’s hazel eyes stared into yours as you talked him through his breathing, your hands soothingly moving up and down his arms as you knelt in front of him and offered a comforting smile as you watched his panic slowly ebb away.
“Y/N, I­—" Cassian started, eyes wide as he gulped and continued staring at you. Before you could blink or react in anyway, he was surging forward; one hand coming up to rest at the back of your neck, the other was gently placed on your thigh, and then his lips were hurriedly pressed against yours. You stilled and tensed in his grasp, it was all too much after everything else that had happened, but still… Maybe a distraction is what you both needed. So instead of pulling away, you leant into him, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him even closer, and kissing him back with such an urgency that a moan sounded in the back of his throat.
“Y/N,” he muttered against your lips, forehead resting against your own, his breath brushing across your face as it came out in heavy pants.
You just shushed him, also refusing to move too far away. “I know, it’s fine. Just a distraction.”
He looked at you for one more blink and then hungrily pressed against you, this time lowering you to the floor, his muscled body hovering over yours as you lost yourselves in the moment, desperate to forget what had happened and all that was yet to transpire.
*****
Afterwards, you lay on the floor next to one another in the, now dark, room. The combination of your heavy breathes were the only sounds that broke through the silence.
Cassian let out a sigh followed by a chuckle, “Well that was one hell of a distraction.”
You turned your head to look at him and let out a quiet, breathless laugh. Yes, it had been a momentary distraction but now what had happened to Rhys, to Prythian, hung heavy in the room. Cassian turned on his side, leaning up on one arm as he faced you, taking in your still flushed, blissed out expression that now had something akin to pain creeping across it.
“Hey,” He gently grabbed your hand and soothed his thumb across the back of it. “Like you said, we’re alright. And we will get him back.”
You nodded at him then pulled yourself up, tugging your shirt back on before throwing Cassian his discarded clothes.
“Come on, we should find the others. Try to figure something out.”
*****
And that was that.
There was no mention of what had happened between the two of you. No comment on the fact that it had been, without a doubt, and despite the current situation you found yourselves in, the best sex either of you had ever had.
No, even when it happened again three weeks later, and then one week after that, and four days after that, again, and again, and again, it remained an unspoken agreement between the two of you. That momentary distraction where you could lose yourselves in the pleasure of one another and forget about the mess you were left to deal with.
That was how it worked for the next few years. You and Cassian falling into a routine of comfort that you were unable, unwilling, to get from anyone else. You had no idea if the rest of the Inner Circle were aware of what was going on; in terms of your friendship, nothing had changed, there were just additional benefits that came with it now. It didn’t mean anything more.
That is, of course, until your routine had morphed into something that felt like it was on the precipice of something else.
The sex was just as mind-blowingly passionate, however, there were now some instances where it was a bit slower and less frantic, more whispered words and lingering touches. Where the two of you used to chat afterwards, an arm’s worth of distance between you as you slipped back into your normal friendship until the other one left to return to their own room, you now found yourselves wrapped up in each other’s arms, hands softly caressing skin until you both drifted into a restful sleep.
Which is where you now found yourself; wrapped up in Cassian’s arms as he softly snored against you, hand tightly holding onto yours and legs tangled together. You eased out of his grasp, careful not to disturb him and lent against the headboard with a sigh. Usually, you would wake the next morning, offer a small smile, then get on with your day, Rhys’ absence still a clear focus for you all. However, lately you had found yourself letting your mind drift more and more, especially in moments like these where Cassian was still beside you and the bubble you lost yourselves in was yet to be broken.
Each and every time you hated yourself for it, guilt taking over until you forcefully pushed the thoughts away, but you couldn’t help but think that, at some point, you all needed to continue your lives and break away from the standstill existence you had been in since Amarantha took over.
You would never say it out loud, but as the years went on, you had lost all hope of ever getting Rhys back. And if that were the case, and as much as you wished it weren’t, at some point you had to start living for yourselves again. Deep down, in the dark and quiet moments when you awoke and the house was fast asleep, you knew exactly what you wanted that life to look like.
You let out another sigh and looked at Cassian, softly brushing some stray hair away from his face and taking the time to really study his sleep-softened features. You hadn’t meant for it to get this far, but after centuries of friendship, and now the years of intimacy you had shared, the love you felt for Cassian had grown and taken form into a whole different avenue of affection. You were in love with him. You loved him and your heart ached at the thought of it because if you allowed yourself this one bit of happiness into your life, the solidarity and support that Cassian provided, then you couldn’t help but think of it as forgetting about Rhys and the torture he had been enduring whilst you were slowly and deeply falling head over heels with one of your best friends.
The worst part of it was that you were certain Cassian felt the same way about you. The way he held you and touched you, the words he whispered into your ear as you were both tangled, panting messes and then the dazed murmurings that were uttered into the silence afterwards, the longing glances he would give you when the others weren’t looking…
What had started as a desperate distraction and pure, physical need had grown into something so much more meaningful and intimate. And yet you both refused to acknowledge that it was anything other than sex as a means to cope with the instability in your lives.
“Hey,” You hadn’t realised Cassian had stirred, his gruff, sleep-filled voice tearing you away from your thoughts.
“Y/N?” Your expression pulled in confusion at the sudden worry in his voice as he sat up and grasped your hand. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
It wasn’t until his fingers were reaching up to brush away the tears on your cheeks that you realised you had been silently crying.
“I… I don’t know.” You said with a slight sniffle.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Cassian pulled you into his lap, your head resting on his chest as he pressed kisses to the top of your head and rubbed soothing patterns across your back. The unfairness of the situation had you stifling a small sob, Cassian’s embrace reminding you of exactly what you were missing.
“Want to talk about it?” He murmured into your hair, followed by another kiss.
Whether it was the build-up of emotions or your complete and utter exhaustion, you didn’t know and didn’t care. You sat up in Cassian’s arms, desperately looking for any form of confirmation that what you were about to say wouldn’t ruin everything, then took a deep breath.
“This…whatever this is between us, I can’t keep doing it. Not how it is now,” You were too caught up to notice the heartbroken expression that flashed across his face.
Cassian had willingly fallen into this arrangement and would happily continue to do so if it meant he could pretend, even for just a few hours a day, that you were his, and he was yours. There had always been a part of him that had been completely and utterly in love with you. And then when he found out Rhys had been trapped by Amarantha, his emotions had been a surging mess, so he acted on instinct and a selfish need for the upmost form of comfort and risked it all by kissing you. Now the thought that this one bit of joy he allowed himself was being ripped away, another thing he would be losing, sent his heart racing as he waited for the final blow of your words.
“It hurts too much.” You continued, looking down at your intertwined hands before pulling away.
Cassian looked up at you in confusion, “What hurts too much?”
“This. Us,” A shaky laugh escaped you as you gestured to the empty space between you, throwing all caution to the wind as you said, “I can’t keep pretending that this isn’t anything more than a distraction. Not when I have fallen so deeply in love with you that the thought of never…”
You were cut off by Cassian all but picking you up and kissing you with such passion that you couldn’t stop your toes from curling or the small whimper that escaped your throat.
“You love me?” His voice was breathless and gravelly, barely above a whisper. You opened your eyes, his forehead rested against yours, eyes squeezed shut as though trying to hold onto the moment.
“Yes.”
A joyful laugh sounded from him and reverberated through you as his lips found yours again, tongue trailing along your bottom lip before you parted them for him.
Your mind was racing yet you couldn’t form a coherent thought, pulling away in a desperate attempt to catch your breath.
“Good.”
“Cass?”
“Good. Because I have loved you since we first met and I can’t lose you, not now.”
You grinned at him before pulling his face down to meet yours and slamming your lips to his. You had thought that maybe, just maybe, he had been starting to feel something that was more than friendship too. But the idea of him loving you for that long made your heart skip a beat and had butterflies fluttering up a storm in your stomach.
“I feel horrible,” You admitted, quick to clarify at the affronted look Cassian gave you. “It just feels wrong, like we’re betraying Rhys. We don’t…we don’t even know if he is alive, Cass. I want this, with you, more than anything. But it doesn’t feel right while everything is so…” You trailed off, unable to meet his gaze as Cassian watched you with a look of contemplation.
“So we don’t say anything. We can keep it between us, at least for now. We’ve gotten this far without the others asking questions. I love you, so much, and as much as I want everyone to know, I get what you mean. So we don’t say anything until we get him back. And we will get him back, I know we will. Alright?" You nodded; eyes wide as you grasped his calloused hands in yours.
“Besides, I basically sleep here every night anyway. Nothing will really change between us, just that I can now tell you and show you that I love you, instead of having to force the words down every time you so much as look at me.” A blush spread across your cheeks at his words and the wink that followed, but you didn’t care to hide it, instead simply giving him a dazzling smile that sent his heart racing.
He pulled you in for another kiss, murmuring “I love you” as he guided you back down onto the mattress.
“I love you too—" But a loud yawn escaped your mouth, cutting off the rest of your words and sending you into a small fit of giggles.
“Alright, we’ll continue this tomorrow,” Cassian now laughed with you. “Come on, it’s late. Get some sleep.”
You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face into his chest, the comforting and familiar scent had you drifting off in a matter of minutes.
*****
Cassian had been right, not a lot in your dynamic had changed over the years after that night, other than the giddying comfort of knowing that he was yours, and you were his. You weren’t foolish enough to think that the others hadn’t picked up on the slight shift, especially when Cassian had waltzed out of your room one morning only to come face to face with Azriel. You just assumed that they thought you were sleeping together, nothing more.
Then when Rhys returned, you had been, obviously, overjoyed. Not wanting to bombard him with too much on his first night back, you and Cassian had decided later that night once you were back in your room, to hold off on saying anything about your relationship until Rhys had settled back in.
Then everything else had happened.
The arrival of Feyre and her sisters. Hybern and the cauldron. The war and near fatal injuries spread throughout your tight-knit group. It was all too much.
You and Cassian had been discussing back and forth for months: do you tell them or keep hiding it. Ultimately, keeping your relationship secret is what you always landed on. Honestly, you weren’t sure if you were just finding excuses at this point to keep yourselves in your happy little bubble when so much threated to burst it.
Initially, you hadn’t wanted to rub your relationship in Rhys’ face when he was so clearly pining after Feyre who wanted nothing to do with him. Then their mating bond clicked, and you didn’t want to take away or overshadow their happiness with your own. The threat from Hybern felt like you would be playing with fire; if the King of Hybern found out… it was too great a risk when your enemies could use it against you.
Between it all, you still found time to be together; not once did the love you felt for one another falter. But with each excuse, and with each passing month, the decision wore on you more and more.
And then Rhys asked Cassian to take on Nesta.
You felt for her, you really did, but the time and energy Cassian put into helping her had a pit forming in your stomach. At the end of each day, when you were tucked tightly into his chest and his sweet nothings were whispered across your bare skin, you felt silly for ever thinking that he was losing interest in you. Yet, that feeling lingered just that little bit longer with each passing day and with each moment spent away from him when he was, instead, occupied with her.
*****
You had been away in the Summer Court the night that Nesta had hallucinated about being back in the cauldron. After you finished reporting to Rhys upon your return the following night, he had told you what had happened with her silver flames and how Cassian had managed to bring her out of it. With worry for all of them, you got back to the House of Wind as soon as you could but couldn’t find Cassian, Azriel, or Nesta anywhere. It wasn’t until later when you were getting ready for bed that there was a knock on your bedroom door. What you didn’t expect was to find Cassian on the other side of it, you weren’t sure why he suddenly decided to start knocking on the door to the room you had shared for the past 50 years.
With a quizzical look you pulled him inside the room and lent up on your toes to press a soft kiss to his lips that had him instantly wrapping his arms around your frame to pull you in tighter against him.
“I missed you,” he murmured against your skin, trailing lingering kisses down your neck that had a soft moan escaping you.
“I missed you. Rhys told me what happened here, are you alright? Is Nesta?”
Cassian pulled back, pressing another kiss to your lips then the tip of your nose before grabbing your hands and leading you to the couch by the fireplace.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” You remained silent, your doubt erupting in you as you waited for him to continue with bated breath. “We moved her to a closer room, next door to our, your, room, so that if something like that happens again one of us will know straight away.”
Cassian pulled back slightly, studying your features as though waiting for a reaction. You expression remained impassive; you could feel the other shoe about to drop and wanted him to tell you without beating around the bush.
“But,” He sighed, lifting your hand up and pressing a kiss to it, “I think, just for now, at least until things calm down a bit, I should go back to sleeping in my old room.”
“No.”
“Y/N – “
“No, Cassian,” You were shaking your head at him, not caring if you sounded needy or whiny or any of it. “This is the only time we can just be us. It’s already hard enough with keeping it a secret from everyone, I can’t lose this.”
“We decided, together, to keep this between us, there’s too much going on. And I don’t think Nesta will appreciate hearing us through the walls…” You cut him off with a scoff.
“Are you fucking serious, Cass? Are you worried about everyone finding out, or are you worried about Nesta finding out?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I never get to see you because you’re always with her. And now, because of her again, everything that our relationship is needs to go on hold? It’s not fair that after 50 years all I get is a few hours at the end of the day and to be kept your secret from everyone we care about.” You spat the word, all your emotions and fears finally bubbling over, however irrational they may be, but you had had enough.
“Sweetheart, we agreed that it’s for the best that we keep this between ourselves – “
“Well, I don’t agree anymore, Cass. I don’t want it like this. And don’t condescend me.” Your voice had a sharp snap to it. You needed something. Needed something other than the heartbreak that you could feel fast approaching; and a fight sounded like the next best thing.
“I’m not being condescending,” You could sense Cassian’s temper rising. “You can’t suddenly be angry because you’ve changed your mind without saying anything to me. And Nesta has nothing to do with this, it’s for...”
But the rest of his words became a blur at the sudden, incessant tug that pulled at your chest; that pulled you towards the male in front of you.
He was your mate.
Cassian was your mate.
You couldn’t do this, not now when you were in the middle of a fight. Not when Cassian didn’t even seem to be aware – or seem to care, a small voice taunted – of what had just happened. You needed to get away from him, to calm down and think before it could get even more out of hand.
“Cassian, just… Whatever, it’s fine. I’m tired, so just go back to your room, okay? We’ll figure the rest out later. I’m just…tired.” You finished lamely, voice cracking slightly as you watched him look you over, his frustration still evident, before walking out and loudly shutting the door behind him.
You slumped down, holding your knees to your chest as the sobs began. You had thought, had hoped, that Cassian was your mate. But this wasn’t how it was meant to go. Not mid-fight, with him having no idea of the bond’s existence while telling you he no longer wants to share your bed.
Having been so caught up in your thoughts and the overflooding emotions, you missed the flickering of shadows that darted around you. Moments later there was another knock on your door. Wiping your eyes, you called out in a chocked voice, “come in,” assuming it was Cassian.
Instead, Azriel quickly opened the door, closing it just as fast, before taking in the sight before him and making his way over to you.
“Y/N?” You could only sniffle in response, gratefully leaning against his side when his arm wrapped around you. “You alright?”
You remained silent for a few minutes, focusing on Azriel’s comforting hand brushing up and down your arm as you worked to control your breathing and halt your tears.
“I’m fine.” Your voice was hoarse and not at all convincing.
“Want to try that again?” You sent your elbow into his ribs, making the Shadowsinger chuckle before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head.
With a sigh he asked, “This has nothing to do with the fact that Cassian is suddenly sleeping in his room for the first time in, what? 50 years?”
You gaped up at your friend in shock and at a loss for words.
“You knew?
“Of course I knew. I live here too, remember? As subtle as you might think you’re being, I’ve got these,” His shadows danced around, reminding you that it was stupid to even entertain the idea that Azriel wouldn’t know.
“Oh,” A fresh set of tears filled your eyes and you stared intently into the flickering fire.
“Can you please take me to the town house? I don’t… I can’t be here.” Despite the late hour, you knew he would do anything for you in a heartbeat. While you and Cassian had been friends for decades before anything more had happened, you and Az had been close from the start, instant friends as soon as you had met.
“Of course.”
He waited for you by your bedroom door as you pulled together a small bag of your belongings, not knowing when you would be back.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
You didn’t turn to give the room that held so many memories a final glance as you shut the door behind you and followed Azriel out onto the balcony.
*****
Thankfully, the town house was dark and empty when you arrived, giving you the space and silence to process your thoughts and feelings. You had thanked Azriel for flying you over and had said a quick goodnight before you walked inside and headed upstairs.
Sitting on your bed, you vacantly stared at the wall, lost in thought as the minutes ticked by. You jumped at the sudden dip of the mattress beside you, only to find Azriel sitting there fixing you with a look of concern, a steaming cup of tea extended towards you.
“Thanks,” You murmured, taking a sip and revelling in the slight burn as the liquid went down your throat. “I thought you went home.”
“Not yet. Didn’t want to leave you alone like this.” There was a beat of silence before, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,”
You let out a weary sigh, content on sitting in silence but your thoughts quickly became too much, and you found yourself blurting out, “He’s my mate.”
Azriel whipped around to face you, shock coating his features.
“What? They didn’t tell you?” You gestured to the shadows that skittered around him with a sad smile.
“For how long? I thought you were just sleeping together.” He trailed off, giving you an uncharacteristically sheepish expression as you let out a somewhat bitter laugh.
“It started that way, when Rhys…left,” You whispered, revelling in finally telling someone even though it may well be over. “It was a distraction from the shit show that was going on, but then it just kept happening.” Azriel remained silent, letting you talk.
“A few years in, I realised I had fallen in love with him,” you voice cracked but you kept going, “Then he told me he loved me too. Said he had for a while.”
Azriel chuckled lightly, “That’s an understatement. He was infatuated with you from the moment you met. I knew something was going on or something had at least happened when he suddenly stopped talking to me about you whenever you weren’t there.”
Tears rolled down your cheeks at his words, but with a look and a comforting squeeze of his hand, you let out a shuddering breath and continued, “That was five years into Rhys being gone, and we’ve been together ever since.”
“Five years into… But Y/N, how? That means for over 45 years, the two of you have been…” You sniffed as he put the math together and watched as his eyes widened at the realisation. “How come you never told us?”
“We felt guilty that we found some type of happiness together when Rhys was trapped – “
“He wouldn’t have cared. He would have been happy for you; for both of you” Azriel interjected.
“I know,” You smiled sadly, “But it just didn’t feel right. And then he got back, and everything with Feyre and Hybern happened – it was never the right time.”
You could tell he was still confused, hurt even, about the two of you keeping your relationship private for so long, but he didn’t push you.
“I don’t know how I missed it.” He said, seemingly to himself.
“You only half missed it,” You joked, nudging his arm to try to ease the tension in the room. “We tried to act the same, things were just different when we were alone.”
“When did you realise you were mates?” You inhaled sharply, your earlier fight rushing back to you.
“Tonight. We were arguing and I just felt this tug and knew. He doesn’t know – at least I don’t think he knows.” You voiced your doubts, the weight of them getting the better of you.
“If he knew, he would refuse to leave your side. It just hasn’t snapped into place for him yet.” You gave your friend an appreciative smile and lent your head on his shoulder.
“I’m so tired.”
“Go to sleep. I’ll come back in the morning to check on you. You’re alright here?”
“Thanks Az.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before leaving the room; leaving you alone to finally mull over the fight, your emotions, and the fact that Cassian was your mate.
*****
“What’s up with you?” Mor plopped into the seat beside you, handing you a glass of wine that you gratefully took.
“Nothing,” You quickly murmured as the others traipsed into the dining room. You were aware of Cassian edging towards you and held in a sigh of relief when Azriel suddenly appeared in the seat on your other side.
It had been a week since you left the House of Wind to stay at the town house. A week since your fight with Cassian when you realised exactly what he was to you. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eye. Despite his best efforts to get you alone over the past few days, you conveniently managed to slip away every time. Tonight’s family dinner was the closest you had been to him all week, the realisation only making your longing for him even more dire – especially now that you were aware of that insistent tug that pulled you towards him.
Dinner was no different to how it usually went, except for the fact that you hardly said a word, opting to keep your eyes focused on the food in front of you. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice that Cassian also didn’t utter a single word throughout the meal, the only difference between you both was that his eyes were fixed on you, not his plate.
You jumped up as soon as everyone had finished eating, wanting to help clear the plates so you could get out and go home as soon as possible, not wanting to prolong the night for any longer than it needed to be. Too bad for you, Cassian was acutely attuned to your movements and jumped out of his seat seconds after to help in a desperate attempt to have at least one moment to talk to you.
Filling the sink with hot, soapy water, you sensed, rather than saw, Cassian follow you into the kitchen, body tensing up as he silently walked to your side. You worked in silence, scrapping dishes, washing plates, drying, and putting away. Cassian’s eyes were fixed on you, brows furrowing further with every passing moment you continued to ignore him.
“Y/N,” His voice was quiet, unsure. So different to his usual tone that it had you involuntarily turning to face him. Your heart stammered in your chest, the longing and hurt and confusion that had been tearing you apart in your time away from him threatened to burst as you finally met his hazel stare. “Are you… Are we okay? You just left and I had to find out from Az that you’re staying at the town house and now you can barely even look at me.”
His words came out hurried, frantic, as though if he spoke any slower you would disappear. Guilt flooded you at the hurt you found in his eyes, but your anger was still very much present, the lingering fear of him choosing Nesta over you held too strong for you to succumb to those feelings of guilt.
“I just need some time.” Voice barely above a whisper, you inwardly cursed as your vision blurred over with tears.
“Time for what? Y/N I don’t know what’s going on–”
“You both okay?”
Neither you nor Cassian heard Azriel approach, both turning to gape at your friend who hesitantly stood in the doorway.
“Fine. Just fine.” You pushed past him on your way out, not giving Cassian a second glance as you entered the spacious loungeroom to say goodnight to everyone. A few moments later the pair walked in after you, you missed the loaded glances they shared, not privy to the hurried conversation they had after you left the kitchen where Cassian had all but begged Azriel to intervene, to allow him the chance to finally talk to you.
“Hey, Y/N?” You turned to look expectantly at Azriel. “Did you still need me to fly you up to the House of Wind for that book?”
“Oh. Yeah, if that’s alright?” In your rush to get away the night you left you had forgotten to pack the next book you had been planning to read.
“Does tonight work? If you’re just about to head off…”
“Sure, I was just going to go…home.” Your voice trailed at the end, willing the blush away as you kept your head held high. You felt as though you didn’t know what home was anymore.
“Great, Cassian was just about to leave as well. He’ll take you up there.” With a clap to Cassian’s shoulder, Azriel sauntered over to where Rhys and Amren were talking, brushing off their questioning glances as he pointedly ignored you, allowing no room for dispute.
“Oh…”
“Is that alright?” You tensed at Cassian’s voice, glancing over your shoulder to find his wary eyes on you. It wasn’t like you could say no, it was not alright, without making a scene. You would be having words with Azriel the next time you saw him; judging by the slight smirk he was wearing, he seemed to assume just as much.
“Erm, yes. If that’s okay?” Cassian simply nodded before gesturing to the front door and, after another quick goodbye to everyone, you found yourselves outside. Another fumbled moment, then you were held tightly in Cassian’s arms with the rush of the crisp night air and an uncomfortable silence engulfing you both as he flew you towards the House of Wind.
You couldn’t stand the awkwardness. It had never been like this between the two of you and you hated that this is what it had come to. The relationship you shared, whether that be friendship or more, it had always come so naturally. Now you were faced with a stilted, tense atmosphere, not quite knowing what to say or where you stood. Then there had been the fight. Sure, you had argued before, after decades of knowing each other, you were bound to come into some disagreements along the way. But you had never had a fight like this, where you had both been so riled up, fuming at the other to the point where you had both stormed away and then not spoken for days. You hated it.
So caught up in your thoughts, you missed the slight detour Cassian was taking you on, only noticing once you were placed back on your feet and found yourself in the middle of the training ring, rather than the usual balcony that led into the house itself.
“What…”
“We’re hashing this out. Right now.”
“You want to…fight?”
“What?” Cassian did a double take, as if just connecting the location with why you would think that. “No, I don’t want to fight. That’s the problem, we are fighting. This just seemed like the most private place to work things out.”
You eyed him hesitantly, not knowing what you wanted your next step to be, especially when the urge to wrap your arms around him and inhale the scent that was so him, the scent that had become home, was so strong.
“So, words or swords?” Your eyes snapped to Cassian as he fiddled with the one of the discarded swords you usually sparred with.
Words
You wanted words. To talk this all out and be done with it, whichever way that turned out to be. But then an image flashed across your mind; an image of Cassian standing up here with Nesta, hands guiding her into the correct form, fingers shifting along her own to straighten her hold on the blade…
Without a single word, you walked to where Cassian was and hauled your own blade up.
“Okay then.” There was a slight smirk on Cassian’s face as he followed behind you into the centre of the training ring. The quirk of his eyebrow was all you needed before you were moving towards him, swords meeting with a clash that pierced the night.
You didn’t think about the moves you were making, giving way to centuries of refined and well-practiced instinct. Cassian was stronger, you knew he would hold out for longer, but you were well matched for now. Both of your foreheads started to sheen in sweat, pants of exertion echoed alongside the clank and clash of swords, and as you moved around and against one another, you finally let out all of your pent-up emotions until you had nothing left.
“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.” You gasped before dropping the sword and falling to your knees, tears streamed down your face at the sudden emotional outlet. Cassian was by your side in an instant, his sword dropped to the ground in a ricochetting crash.
“Y/N,” His voice was alert, on-edge, eyes dancing over you as he tried to work out what was wrong. “Are you hurt?” The frantic tone now had sobs racking from your chest, shaking your head you surged forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you cried and cried and cried. Without a second thought, Cassian had his arms around you, pulling you into his lap as he softly caressed your back and whispered soothing words into your ear.
He stayed silent, giving you the time and space to calm down and filter through your thoughts. Not once rushing you or demanding answers after a week of uncertainty.
“I’m sorry, Cass. I’m so fucking sorry, for everything. I just…” At least you managed to get a few words out before you were overcome with tears once again. You weren’t sure what they were for at this point with so many thoughts and scenarios racing through your head: the fight, Cassian being your mate, Cassian getting close with Nesta, Cassian leaving you, Cassian leaving you for Nesta, and then you being forced to watch them be together, knowing you couldn’t stand the thought of him not being in your life, in whatever capacity you were granted.
“Shhh,” He soothed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he softly rocked you back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
With a deep breath, you nodded against his chest in an attempt to compose yourself. Noting in the position you were in, you could have laughed if you weren’t feeling so empty and deflated; this is how you had both gotten into this in the first place, all those years ago when you thought you would never see Rhys again – both of you with your arms around each other, crying and saying everything was going to be okay. Only this time, you weren’t so sure if the strength of your relationship would hold.
“Please, talk to me, Y/N. What’s going through that head of yours.”
You couldn’t take not knowing what was going to happen any longer. So with a final sniffle, you leant back, sitting on the ground beside him and pulling your knees up to your chest as you held your arms tightly around yourself.
“I don’t know where to start…”
“What about when you decided you wanted the others to know?” There was no malice in his voice, only gentle concern that prodded you to continue.
“I’ve always wanted the others to know,” You ignored Cassian’s slight indignation, “But it was never the right time, what with everything that was happening then, and everything that’s happened since. It felt like the right decision at the time, it felt safe. It was nice knowing that this was just for us when so much was going wrong. But I want to be with you outside of our room. I want to be able to hold your hand and walk through Velaris, kiss you in front of our friends, not pretend that you don’t mean the world to me, because you do Cassian.”
He remained quiet, letting you talk and giving you the space to get everything off your chest but the lingering presence of his hand drawing soothing circles across your back had you feeling grounded. “I love you and the thought of losing you has been tearing me apart.” You winced at the tremor in your voice, gaze fixed on the ground in front of you.
You didn’t dare mention the fact that you were mates. Not yet. He deserved the chance to properly say what needed to be said, without the cauldron’s interference tying him down if he did, in fact, want to leave.
“Why do you think you’re losing me?” Cassian’s voice was quiet and contemplative, as though processing everything you had said but not quite connecting the dots. The kiss to the side of your head had you inhaling a shaky breath and you forced yourself to will away the tears that threatened to spill.
“We’ve been so distant lately; we never get to see each other. And, look, I know it’s for Rhys, but I’m away all the time, and you’re always with Nesta. Then the other night when you said you didn’t want to share our room anymore, and that you were afraid she would find out… I don’t know, I guess it all just became too much.” You could feel his eyes on you but the blush burning your cheeks had you refusing to meet his gaze.
A moment later, Cassian softly said, “I never said I didn’t want to share a room with you, believe me, I want to spend every moment I can with you–” You made a noise of protest, but Cassian gently shushed you before continuing. “But Rhys and Feyre need Nesta to be okay and he’s given that job to me. I should’ve spoken to you about it first or explained it better when I said I was going to sleep in my old room. But you saw what Nesta was like before we got her up here, I didn’t think her seeing, or hearing, us together would be all that helpful – especially when she was using sex as a way to cope with everything.”
“Oh…” You felt stupid. Stupid and selfish and completely undeserving of the amazing, considerate male beside you.
“And,” Cassan continued with a playful nudge of his shoulder, “You have no idea how much I want everyone to know about us. No idea how hard it has been to not tell everyone that this amazing, brilliant, strong, kind female is mine. And just how hard it has been seeing other males so much as look at you without being able to say anything to them.”
You still couldn’t tear your eyes from the ground in front of you, but Cassian noticed the soft smile tugging at your lips.
“Cauldron, if you want, I can fly us back to the River House right now. We can tell everyone exactly what’s been going on, you can kiss me in front of all of our friends then we can go into Velaris, I’ll even let you hold my hand as we walk around.” Another playful nudge had you softly chuckling, eyes finally darting over to look at Cassian. Your heart faltered at the expression on his face, the complete love and adoration that laced his features as he watched you, his own mouth pulling into a smile at the laugh he managed to pull from you.
“Yeah?” Your voice was still slightly hoarse from your previous tears, but it was a touch lighter. You felt lighter.
“Yeah.” Cassian stretched his legs out in front of him, wrapping one arm around your waist as he pulled you closer to him, leaning back on the other.
Still, some doubt lingered. It couldn’t be this easy. Things were never this easy.
“So, you’re not going to leave me?” You couldn’t remember the last time you felt shy in front of him, and you hated yourself for asking, hated that he might think you weak, needy, pathetic – the words raced around, threatening to send you into a panic.
“Never,” That one word had you relaxing immediately. “You would have to force me to leave you, and even then… I’m not going aware, Sweetheart.”
You could have melted at his words. You swore you did as you leant against him, letting out a small sigh of relief, a breath you had been holding for days, weeks, months.
“Y/N?” His voice sent a shiver down your spine, the words whispered into your ear as his breath fanned across your skin. “Can I please kiss you now?”
You tilted your head up to face him, a small smile gracing your features as he slanted his lips over your own and you immediately felt as though you had returned home.
Pulling away all too quickly, your lips desperately chased his, only to receive a playful peck in response before Cassian was helping you to your feet.
“Come on,”
“Cass?” You laugh was laced with confusion, yet you followed him anyway, watching as he picked up the discarded sparring swords and placing them back alongside the others.
“What? We’ve got some news to share,” He stole another quick kiss as he laced your hands together.
“Now?”
“Yes now,” He mocked with a playful grin, “I don’t want to waste another moment, especially when it has you feeling as though–”
The abrupt stop to Cassian’s words had the smile slipping from your face as you took in his wide eyes and startled expression.
“Cassian, what’s wrong?”
“Y/N… You’re…” He let out a disbelieving laugh as he continued to stare at you, drinking in every feature, every miniscule detail and expression that crossed your face. Turning your head, you tried to look around for the cause of his sudden change in demeanour, only to be met with gentle, yet calloused, hands cupping your face, urging you to meet his gaze before his lips were pressed over yours again.
Despite the confusion, you gratefully accepted and leant into the kiss, relaxing as his arms draped around your waist and as you let your fingers travel up his neck before tangling into his hair. Cassian was breathing heavily when he pulled away, you could hear the pounding of his heart as he pressed his forehead against yours. His eyes remained tightly shut, the feel of his lashes fluttering across your skin sent your own heart fluttering in response.
Then he mumbled something incoherently; too quiet and smothered for you to even begin to comprehend.
“Hmm?” You asked, pressing a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth as you ran your fingers through his hair.
Another murmur had you pulling away, eyebrows furrowing as you took in his dumbfounded expression and the way his eyes were still tightly shut. But there was now a smile tugging at his lips.
“Cass?”
“Mate. You’re my mate.” His eyes snapped open, revealing complete, utter joy as he stared at you with wonder and bewilderment.
Oh. Right.
“And you’re my mate.” At least you didn’t have to keep this to yourself any longer.
Cassian tilted his head as he processed your reaction and the way your lips spread into a soft, loving smile.
“You knew. You already knew.” Although his voice was laced with exasperation, his face held nothing but love and giddy excitement, eyes bright as he met yours. You sent a wave of affirmation down the newly linked bond, watching with joy as Cassian’s eyes lit up even further at the sensation. You knew you were grinning just as stupidly back at him when you felt a tug of your own filled with nothing but love.
The two of you stood there grinning and staring at one another as though seeing the other in a new light. Then you were both moving, arms a flurry as they desperately wrapped around the other, lips meeting in a loving and passionate kiss that only intensified with each tug that raced down the bond, igniting the need for more, so much more.
A gentle tap from Cassian and you were quick to jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist as his arms held you tightly against him. Through the kisses and moans and soft sighs, somehow Cassian found himself moving, walking the two of you to the door that would lead you inside and to your room.
“Wait,” You pulled back, gasping for air as you leant your forehead against his, legs still tightly wrapped around his middle. Cassian was panting just as heavily, waiting on your every move and word. “Kitchen.”
The suggestive grin he shot you went straight to your core, the feeling only amplified as he attached his lips to your neck. “I think I like where this is heading,” A soft moan sounded in the back of your throat as he tugged on your earlobe, then he was walking again, albeit very quickly, towards the kitchen, his lips back on yours.
“No, idiot,” Another moan had your breathless words halting immediately. “Food.”
Now Cassian pulled away, looking at you through the haze of love and lust, now tainted by a hint of confusion.
“Food,” You continued, pressing a kiss to his lips before trailing along his jaw and returning the favour with a tug on his earlobe. “For the mating bond.”
You felt Cassian’s body tense against you, “You’re going to accept it?”
“Yes…” you said tentatively, not quite understanding the need for his question because what other answer was there?
The intensity in which he kissed you had him stumbling back a few steps, arms wrapping even tighter around you to keep you in his arms.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Your gaze softened as you took in his uncertain expression, as you felt it through the bond.
“No, I don’t know. I just thought… I mean, you’re… Do you really want to be tied to a bastard-born Illy…” You cut his words off with a sharp look and a deep kiss that conveyed exactly what you thought of what he had just implied. Then you were sending every ounce of love and affection that you could muster towards him, heart melting as his expression changed and with the way he looked at you whilst processing the raw, vulnerability of the emotions surging down the bond.
You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, barely more than a lingering peck before saying, “Please can you let me give you some food now? I’ve been keeping this in all week.”
“All week? You’ve known about this since…”
“It snapped during our fight,” You shrugged, not wanting to relive it now that you had finally reached this point.
It was Cassian’s turn to pull you into a tender kiss before you found yourself overwhelmed by the new sensation of his emotions landing right above your heart.
“I think we can hold off on telling the others for just a little bit longer.”
“I think you’re absolutely right,” You tapped his arm gently and he placed you back onto your feet. Lacing your fingers with his, you pulled him into the kitchen and made him take a seat while you went about putting a plate of food together.
“Besides,” You continued, suddenly remembering Azriel’s involvement, “Az already knows. So I’m sure the others have put the pieces together by now and will steer clear for a few days.”
“A few weeks more like.” You grinned at the slight growl in his voice and the hunger in his eyes as his gaze remained fixed on you.
“Here,” Your voice was almost breathless, stomach fluttering with excitement and nerves as you pushed the plate towards him. Cassian briefly glanced down at it then, with a look of well-honed restraint, he slowly stood and walked over to you, pulling you in for a kiss as he murmured, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Without tearing his eyes away from you, Cassian reached across the table for the plate, eating everything on it as you remained transfixed on one another, basking in the feeling of the bond you shared growing stronger and stronger until, at last, everything felt as though it had finally fallen into place.
***** Thanks for reading 🥰
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mncxbe · 4 months
Text
bsd men and what they do for christmas
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂, 𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊, 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: sfw/nsfw/ severe brainrot♡
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𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
can I just start by saying that this man has never celebrated Christmas properly so he's so excited to spend time with you
Dazai prefers to keep things simple: homemade dinner and then watching a movie
you're supposed to open the presents in the morning but he isn't patient enough. the moment he sees them under the tree you so kindly decorated a few days ago he has the biggest smile on his face
"come on bella you don't seriously want to wait until morning. how could you do this to me? you know how curious I am"
you end up opening the gifts that night. he's gonna loves whatever you get him really but his heart literally melts if you knit him a scarf or write him a letter. dazai's a sucker for self-made gifts
the only appropriate way to show his gratitude is to bend you over and fuck you nice and slow, your face mushed in the cushy pillows on your shared bed as he takes you from behind
"there you go pretty girl. my, my I'm starting to think this pretty pussy of yours is my favourite gift so far"
you can bet he wears a santa hat
𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
he'd take you out to the most expensive restaurant in town for a proper meal
after that, if you find a rink that's open on Christmas eve he takes you ice skating (totally not an excuse for him to hold your hand)
once you get home you cuddle on the couch while watching a generic movie like Home Alone. it's always the classics I'm telling you
he has a fireplace!!! and insists on opening the gifts next to it
among other stuff, he gets you Christmas themed lingerie and makes you wear it in bed. cuz after all, you're the best gift he could ask for
forget about baking him sweets, the only dessert he wants is your pretty cunt. he's gonna eat you out for what seems like hours, making you cum on his tongue at least two or three times before he even thinks about fucking you
"shiit baby you look so pretty like this. you like it when I spoil you rotten don't ya? I bet you do- oh fuck yea cum f'me doll"
𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
hubby's busy even on holidays
he probably has to attend some obnoxious event and ofc you go as his plus one
he's gonna spend all evening sulking and complaining about how idiotic the whole party is
by the time you two get home he's too exhaused to do anything but you may be able to bribe him to stay awake for an hour or two with some gingerbread
can I just say he'd probably get you the nicest gifts? i'm 100% sure he has a good salary so he can afford whatever you want. expensive jewelery or skincare? sure, no problem. a stack of books with those pretty decorative covers? fine again
he probably gets a bit tipsy on mulled wine so be prepared to hear a silly yet lengthy love confession before bed
falls asleep before midnight but he's gonna make up for it in the morning if you catch my drift
𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
sweet baby's so anxious at first
he's never celebrated christmas before so he doesn't really know what to do. this whole idea is so new to him but he can't deny he loves spending time with you decorating the house
Sigma wants to try any tradition you may have; baking winter themed cookies, making crackers, watching a movie marathon
when it comes to gifts he doesn't really know what to get you so he ends up buying multiple things he thinks you'd like and he's so happy when you tell him you like them
cuddles cuddles cuddles all evening under a cushy blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in your hands
he'd look so cute wearing one of those reindeer headbands
if it's snowing, take him slow dancing in the snow or on a walk around town. he's gonna love the pretty christmas lights
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pinguwrites · 6 months
Text
Our True Nature | Tom Buckley
Pairing -> dom!tom buckley x student!psychic!reader
Summary -> You're different, you always have been; you've know that ever since you were a little kid who made your toys float in the air. Despite your great abilities you've pursued a rather humble life, looking for others like you. Your search comes to an end when you realize that your professor's assistant, Tom Buckley — the one you've been harboring a secret crush on — is a psychic, just like you.
Word count: 4.4k
Warnings: smut (minors dni), dom!Tom and sub!reader, age-gap (not specified, but reader is college-aged), praise kink, slight degradation, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, um superpower play??? telekinesis play??? I don't know what that shit's called, overstimulation, mild breeding kink, tom is wild and says dirty stuff, weird magic lore I made up (you can trust me, I used to write fantasy), mild hamilton reference ig, rough sex but not much emphasis on it
Disclaimer: Red Lights characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.
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When you first saw him it was like the world around you stopped. The rain that had been pouring down like a storm the entire day ceased its brutal assault, and in that week of dull weather and gray skies, the sun finally peeked out from behind the clouds and cast a heavenly glow around his body.
He looked like an angel. Dark hair caressed by sunlight, eyes as pale blue as a glacier, and the most handsome face you’d ever seen. It was all right there, across the parking lot of the university, just waiting to be seen. A god amongst humans, a flower in a field of grass.
But then the moment passed. He walked away, without any word or acknowledgment, like he never even saw you at all. It wasn’t until later on did you realize who this man was — Tom Buckley, your new professor’s assistant.
You supposed that was when the attraction started. You tried to kid yourself and say that it was actually halfway through the year when he started offering private study sessions, or when he made it a point to greet you good morning every day, or even when he insisted you call him Tom, but you knew the truth. You had fallen for him the second you saw him but were only too ashamed to admit it.
A god amongst humans.
It was a silly phrase you used to describe him. He wasn’t a god. Not even close to one. He was nothing like you. He couldn’t see visions of the future, or make a door open and close at his whim. He was just a person, a person you had a silly, undeniable crush on. A person you could not stop staring at.
He was currently leading the lesson today, showcasing a video on how a fake psychic used tricks behind the scenes to fool her audience, but you weren’t paying attention at all. Your chin was resting in your hand, and your gaze was upon Tom like he was the only thing that mattered.
You could barely see him in the poor lighting. The best you got was a figure and a shadow on the projection, but that didn’t deter you at all. All you wanted was to observe him, the way he moved, the way he talked, the way his hands would gesture as he explained the concepts students didn’t understand.
He seemed to notice your blatant staring, because after the video ended and he turned the lights back on, his eyes locked with yours, and he did what he always did: made you stay behind after class.
“Is something wrong?” you asked. It was a routine question. When the students got up to leave you would approach his desk, feigning confusion, waiting for him to say, ‘No, nothing, I just wanted to look over the assignment with you.’
You were sure your friends thought you were dumb. Why else would you need extra help all the time? but that was a much better assumption than the idea that you were fucking Mr. Buckley, so you never bothered correcting them.
“No, nothing, I just . . . ” Tom started but then trailed off. From this distance, you could properly admire the light freckles scattered across his pale face and took a moment to save the image in your head. When he continued, your attention snapped back. “I have a couple of questions.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Yeah. Let’s go to my office.” He looked a little nervous for some reason. The walk to his office was spent trying to deduce why. Maybe something was wrong this time.
You sat down on one of the chairs by his desk. His room was filled with all sorts of odd things, namely technology used to disprove — or prove — paranormal activity. Occasionally, this material would be showcased in class, and he and Matheson would do replicas of former encounters to demonstrate how they worked.
You always paid very close attention to those days, in case you ever need the information in the future. How to Evade Ghost Hunters 101!
“What is it? Have I really done something wrong this time?” you joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
He laughed. A beautiful smile.
“Of course not, you’re my star student.” Your heart warmed at that. “I just wanted to test some things out with you. For the curriculum, Dr. Matheson and I were considering adding it to the course, and we want your opinion.”
You nodded. “That’s fine with me.”
“Good.”
He opened a drawer and pulled out a tarot card pack.
“We want to do a lesson on how pictures and symbolism can be manipulated to fit the victim’s life,” he said, shuffling the deck. “Tarot cards are so vague and general — The Fool, for example, represents new beginnings and adventure. Is that not the foundation of everyone’s life? To explore, to be inexperienced?”
You agreed. “And how are you planning on presenting this to the class? Give out a tarot reading to everyone?”
Tom chuckled. “I just want to try it out with you, to prove it.”
He held out the cards for you to pick, but you stopped him. “Aren’t I supposed to tell you what I want to know?”
There was a brief silence, and if you looked carefully, you could see a light pink tinge glaze over his cheeks, and his breathing hitch ever so slightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. 
“Don’t worry. Whatever you want to know about me,” you offered, amused at his reaction. “Tell me, what are you looking for?”
“I want to know your secrets,” he admitted. “I want to know what you’re hiding.”
“You’ll be disappointed. There’s nothing interesting about me.”
“We’ll see.”
You picked three cards and placed them down on the table. Each representative of either the past, present, or future, or at least, that’s how you were assuming he was doing the reading.
He turned the first card. It was The Star, reversed. 
“Something in the past was bothering you,” he said. “You felt hopeless, like you had no more motivation . . . Am I right in guessing it was the result of something specific?”
“Yes,” you said. Obviously, his reading wasn’t true, how could it be? he wasn’t like you, but he was definitely right about the way people manipulated the symbolism. You doubted he knew the real reason why you had been so depressed.
He flipped over the next card. The Lovers. 
He grinned. “I’m sure you can guess what this means. Are you in a relationship?”
You shook your head.
“Then it’s about a potential someone. You’ll find your complimentary, someone you can balance with — it could be platonic, or romantic, but no matter the type of relationship, they’ll be loving, and supportive.”
You looked into his eyes before returning your attention back down to the cards. Oh, how you wished it was him. 
He turned the last card.
“The Ten of Cups. Your desires will be fulfilled. You’ll be happy, whatever problems you had in the past will be resolved.”
It was silent for a moment. You expected him to ask you questions of how accurate it was, and how quickly you connected his predictions to events in your life, but he didn’t.
“Do you believe in magic?” he asked bluntly. “The supernatural? You either do or you don’t, I can’t imagine you’d be wasting your time in this class if your opinion was neutral.”
You felt like you’d been put right on the spot. You thought about the right way to answer. “I believe in it, in the sense that I’m open about what we don’t know, and am optimistic about all the possibilities.”
He all but rolled his eyes. “C’mon. That was so wordy. I want to hear the truth.”
He leaned in closer. Your faces were inches apart, and you could feel his minty breath on your face. 
“Yes,” you breathed out. “I believe in magic.”
He pulled away, satisfied. “I believe in magic, too.”
You quirked an eyebrow, amused. “Oh? Have you ever seen it in action?”
“Maybe,” he answered vaguely, a grin on his face. “Let me see your palm.”
You wanted to laugh, but you yourself was very eager to comply with his demands, not because you thought the experiments were interesting, but rather you enjoyed spending time with him, and the prospect of him touching you—even though it was only your hand—was thrilling.
Tom caressed the lines on your palms. He was distracted by it.
You weren’t sure what it was about him that made you so drawn. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, it was only something based on lust and looks, but this was more. You didn’t just like him, you found him utterly attractive, in a way that surpassed physicality.
It certainly wasn’t his personality. You thought you two were compatible in mentality, and you got along well, but he was rather boring. He wasn’t fiery nor exciting, nothing that could take you off guard or pique your curiosity. 
He was intelligent. He told you he used to study physics, something you just had to respect him for, but you didn’t know that until just recently, and it’s not like his day-to-day actions showcased his genius. 
You really didn’t know what it was, and a part of not knowing made it all the more mysterious. But it also made you feel vulnerable. In less than a year, you had become so hopelessly, irrevocably, in love with someone. He could do anything and you wouldn’t blink an eye. He had so much power over you, and he didn’t even know it.
“Can you feel it?” he asked softly, looking up at you.
You pulled your hand away, too flustered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He took your hand again, unrelenting. He gripped it tighter, encasing it in his warmth. It felt so nice.
“Between us,” he clarified, his voice low. He was gazing at you intently.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you like me?” he asked, his tone almost desperate. “I see you do things, impossible things. When you drop a pencil in class it floats back up to your hand, when your coffee gets too cold I see you wrap your hand around the cup and make it bubble. No one else notices, but I do. I see it.”
You froze, or rather, your mind was instantly filled with so many thoughts you couldn’t comprehend them all at once. 
You thought you were careful with your abilities because up until now, no one had caught you. Not since you were a teenager who copied off others during a test, not since you got your first car and put it on autopilot so you could sleep during a drive, not even since you were a little girl who was too lazy to tie her own braid at school. 
“T-Tom,” you stuttered. “I don’t . . .”
And what was that he said about being like him? Was he implying that he could do these things too? That after all these years of searching, you’d finally found another psychic?
Tom’s face fell. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” He chuckled nervously. “I don’t know what I was saying. Just forget it.”
He cleared his throat. You still didn’t say anything. It was like someone had pressed a mute button and you couldn’t speak, no matter how badly you wanted to say something.
“You should go,” he suggested. “Thank you, for all the help.”
He stood up, and you did too, mirroring his actions. He lead you over to the exit. “Have a nice day, I look forward to seeing you in class next week.”
You turned around, not wanting to leave yet. “Tom . . .”
He was about to close the door when you stopped it with your foot, budged it open, and leapt into his arms, placing a passionate kiss on his lips.
You didn’t know what you were doing. You didn’t know what you were thinking. All that you knew was that you wanted him. Badly. As you pushed your way back inside the room, you feared for a moment that he was going to shove you off, tell you he didn’t mean it like that, but he didn’t. He pulled you inside and lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, and sat you on top of his desk, returning the kiss with even more intensity.
“Tom,” you all but moaned. You felt confused and dazed, but with the way Tom was nibbling at your neck, sucking and licking, you could tell he wasn’t in the same boat as you. You relaxed, letting everything go. You could let him take care of this—whatever this was. Let him take care of you.
“Can I take it off?” he asked in between kisses. He tugged at your shirt, fingers hovering above the buttons.
“Mhm,” you nodded. “Please, please, please—”
The buttons unbuttoned themselves. You gasped a little in surprise as your shirt was tossed to the side. That was all the confirmation you needed—Tom Buckley was just like you. 
The realization that you had finally found another was lost when he started kneading your breasts through your bra. “Such a needy girl,” he cooed. “Didn’t know she could get like that. Doesn’t want to answer my questions but needs me to please her.”
“Fuck,” you let out, surprised at the dirty talk, but pleased nonetheless. “I just want you.”
“I know you do. Staring at me like a piece of meat in class. That’s all I am to you, hmm? Just a hot teacher to fuck. You tell your little friends about me?”
“No!” You whined when his hands went underneath your bra and pinched your nipple. “Ow! I’ve never told anyone.”
“Ah, I knew you were a good girl.”
You whined again and nuzzled your head in the crook of his shoulder, not wanting him to see how flustered he was making you. 
“Pretty girl,” he murmured, unclasping your bra, watching your breasts fall out. “Beautiful girl . . . Can I suck?”
“Yes!” you said impatiently. You found it sexy that he kept asking for permission, but also annoying—he needed to get straight to the point, and stop teasing you.
He latched his lip onto your hard nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud, occasionally nipping on it. While his mouth was occupied, his hands were roaming your body, up to your face and down to as far as he could reach, which while you were sitting down, was all the way to your ankles.
He switched nipples and went to your other breast, making you release a sigh of satisfaction. He eventually let go and gave you another kiss, his tongue slipping inside.
You looked down. He was hard, subtly trying to grind himself between your legs. “Mmm,” he moaned against your lips. 
His moan was wonderful. If not for your own pleasure, you wanted to continue this just so you could elicit another sound out of him.
In a bold move, you reached down and squeezed his crotch. He let out a sound, more strangled this time, and pulled away, a string of saliva connecting you both.
He placed his hand over the hand that was palming his cock, encouraging you to keep going, with eyes shut and nose scrunched up. He then moved it to lean on your shoulders.
“Do you like it rough or vanilla?” he asked. “I can do both.”
You tried to hide your grin. “Rough.”
He knew that by saying that you didn’t want it completely that way. The actions, yes, but you still wanted to hear him praise you, to caress you, to whisper sweet things in your ear.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” He picked you — handsome and strong — and laid you down on the couch. It wasn’t that large, but at least it was more comfortable than his desk, and you didn’t want to wait any longer by going to his place or yours.
“I want to let you know,” he started seriously, “that this isn’t a, uh, one-night stand. I don’t want that, not from you.”
“I don’t want that either,” you said. 
“And I don't do this often. Well, I don't do this at all. With other students, I mean. You’re the first. I don’t want you to think that I’m just, how do you say it? playing you?”
You giggled. He didn’t seem like the playboy type at all. In fact, when most men and women flirted with him, he usually got all uncomfortable and quiet, a fact that boosted your ego, as he never felt that way around you.
“This is serious for me, too. Let’s keep it a secret until this semester is over. And when I’m out of your class we can make it public, okay?”
He nodded, and leaned down to kiss you again, soft and delicate. 
“Take off your shirt,” you demanded.
He smiled at your behavior. It took a minute, because he was wearing his suit, but he managed to get it off with your help. You didn’t want to damage his clothing, it was probably on the more expensive side, and he looked so exquisite in it. 
You admired his chest. He was lean, but you could still see some faint muscles. After all, he had carried you to the couch. He was perfect. It was just what you had hoped for.
This moment didn’t feel real. How was it that you had gotten so lucky? You were here with the man of your dreams, in his arms, and you were about to make love. 
“Get on your knees.”
You did as he asked. You had done this a couple times before, so you weren’t really worried. You could even take cock all the way in, but when you saw his size, you gulped.
He guided your face to it. You licked the tip to the base to the balls, wondering how you were going to make it fit. You reasoned with yourself that if you couldn’t you could just use your hands for the rest.
That was, until he slid his cock inside your mouth and pushed it as far as he could. You controlled your gag reflex and started bobbing your head up and down, the sensation causing your eyes to tear, but not in pain. 
He wiped them away. “Are you okay?”
You didn’t say anything, not with your mouth filled. You showed your answer by sucking him, fondling his balls, looking up at him through fluttering eyelashes.
“Ohhh, you take it so well. So well.”
He pushed your head all the way down, keeping it there for a few seconds. You breathed in through your nose, trying to keep yourself under control whilst still making the experience pleasurable for him. He seemed to like it, with the way he was rolling his hips against your mouth, even though there was nothing left to fit inside. 
Then, suddenly, you felt something rubbing your clit through your pants. You tried to pull off of Tom, concerned at what it might be, when you realized it was him. He was the one doing it, making you feel this way. 
He kept your head in place, a pleased smile on his face. “Like that?”
You moaned. You couldn’t concentrate on him, not when your body was being pleasured so good. How much practice had he had with his abilities? How could he focus when you were going down on him? It was probably the age. He wasn’t that much older than you, but he was older, and surely that came with more practice. 
He pulled you off of him after a few minutes of you squirming and gagging, placing you down on the couch. He made sure your head was in a comfortable position before taking off your pants and pulling out his cock. Your pussy was still being rubbed, by whatever invisible force he was using, and it was about to make you come.
“I—I’m gonna—”
“I know,” he shushed, pressing his cock at your entrance. 
“Let me make you—”
“No,” he growled. “I’m going to come inside of you. Don’t think, just let your professor handle it.”
You knew he wasn’t technically your professor. He was just the TA, but it was still sexy to hear him say that. It reminded you of your student-teacher relationship, the forbiddeness of it all. 
You came just as his cock slid in. He sighed, feeling your pussy flutter and your cream leak out on him. He looked down, taking in the view, before pulling his cock out and slamming it back in, taking you off guard. 
His pace was unrelenting. You didn’t know he could be so animalistic. He was panting and groaning in your ear, holding your body in place even though you weren’t going anywhere. He was still rubbing your clit — technically — but you didn't mind. You could take another orgasm.  Besides, you weren’t sure if he would stop even if you asked. He looked so blissed out, like he was in another world, the only thing driving him his primal instinct.
“Gonna fill you up so good,” he said, increasing the intensity of his pace. The couch was now shuffling a little, moving forward a little bit each time, but Tom didn’t seem to notice. “You need it so bad. Just want me to take care of you, yeah?”
“Yes,” you cried out, rather pathetically. It was crazy to think how submissive this man could make you. You had never been like this with any of your other partners, but with him, you felt safe, like you trust him with anything.
“I can imagine — you in class, giving me one of those eyes you always do. Fuck — the other students don’t suspect a thing, but both you and I know that I’ll have you over my desk by evening.”
The thought alone made your mind whirl.
“I should fill your panties with my cum, make you walk around in it,” he said. That shouldn’t have aroused you as much as it did. He noticed your reaction. “Oh, you enjoy hearing me say those things? Those depraved, dirty things.”
He hit that spot in you, the one that made you go crazy, and you cried out, clutching his shoulders.
“There it is,” he said, mostly to himself, as he kept ramming that spot over and over again. The added sensations made you go limp in his arms. You could feel that familiar coil in your stomach, the one that told you you were going to orgasm again.
You threw your head back, looking up at the ceiling as you came, but your peace of mind didn’t last long. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look back at him, beating that same spot again, all while continuing the assault on your clit. “Look at me, I want to see your face.”
You looked right into his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, and you could tell an orgasm was coming for him, too.
You felt a little ashamed that in such a short time he had made you come twice, and you hadn’t at all — at least, not yet — but like he said before, he didn’t want you to think, so you didn’t, and let whatever thoughts you had left bouncing around in your head leave.
“You’re wonderful,” he praised, kissing you again. He couldn’t get enough of it. Your teeth clashed briefly, but neither of your cared. He just wanted to taste you. “I can’t wait to be with you.”
With that, he came inside, filling you up to the brim with his hot seed. He kept his cock in, holding your hips in place, until he was satisfied and pulled out.
He laid on top of you on the couch, caressing the side of your cheek as you both recovered and took your breath. 
It was silent. Just the two of you, in his office. You had finally found the one. The one you were sure you were going to spend the rest of your life with, all happy and in love like a fairytale.
“I didn’t . . . I didn’t think I’d ever find another,” you finally said.
“I didn’t either. I’m glad it was you. I’m glad it’s you I get to share this with.”
“Hey, what was with the cards? Were you just testing me?”
“Yeah.” He turned to face you. “I wasn’t sure if I was just seeing things. I mean, you get up so early and go to work, sometimes you just imagine a kid opening a door on its own or playing tricks with her assignments. I had to be sure.”
“So, you weren’t intending to tell my future?”
“You can’t actually do that,” he said.
“Yes you can.”
He blinked, surprised. 
“I know you said the interpretation is very broad, but it still works.”
“You can actually tell the future?”
“Yeah. It doesn’t have to be with Tarot cards only. But whatever methods, I don’t do it often, I feel like it messes with things. But sometimes I just get these images in my head, and I can’t stop it.”
It hadnt occurred to you that even though you were both psychic, your powers, or at least, the direction you went with them, were different.
“If you weren’t reading my future, what were you doing?”
“I noticed that objects imbued with magic, especially artifacts, radiated energy—a feeling, one that only I could sense. If I gave the same impression on those cards, and you happened to pick them, it would either be a huge coincidence or it would mean you were drawn to them, albeit unknowingly. It was just something to give me more confidence.”
You weren’t aware that was something a person could do. You supposed there were plenty of things you didn’t know. You were looking forward to learning from him, and teaching him as well. You were both in uncharted waters, not knowing where this would lead you both. But it was okay, as long as you had him by your side.
You did worry a little that this intense connection you felt with him was only in an otherworldly sense, that you fell for him because of this magic, but you shook the thought away. That wasn’t true. You wouldn’t let it be true. You loved him and he loved you—and that was it. Nothing more. 
“I can do another round,” he said suddenly. “You?”
You grinned and nodded. “Yeah. But this time, I want to ride you.”
He laughed and flipped you both over so that you were on top of him. “Show me how you get off, babygirl.”
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Taglist:
@henrywintersdearestgirl
@shroombloom-rry
@meetmeatyourworst
@mrkdvidal1989
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AITA for making a "Hate Club" for my sister? My sister (13) and I (16) have never been close. She is very loud and energetic whereas I am not. She always has been a bit of a jerk sometimes, but recently she has been unbearable to be around. She has been outright mean to our parents, calling them names, screaming at them, throwing things, and doing so every morning when she gets up for school, and every evening when she has to go to sleep. Because of her "screaming schedule", my already bad sleep schedule has been ruined, and I need multiple naps to make it through my day properly because she wakes us up so early. I talked about this to some of my friends who know her, and we decided to make a group chat called "(Sister's name) Hate Club" where we could vent about how she has affected us personally. Sometimes our vents would devolve into mean comments or theorizing about why she's like this, but we never said any of this to her in person, or to anyone outside of our group of 8. However, one night when my mom (63) and I were coming home from a play we had gone to see, she saw a notification for (Sister's name) Hate Club. I had my phone connected to the car's display to play music, so she saw the notification, clear as day. I lied to her at the time, and told her that it was a group chat for stuff in our scout troop, as I didn't feel like explaining what it was on the way home. I thought that she would be mad at me. After I told her, she didn't talk much for the rest of the night. The next day, she confronted me as I was leaving for a doctor's appointment. She said "I don't know if you can tell, but I'm pretty angry at you right now." When I asked her why, she told me the group chat. She started saying how I was a bully, and how I was acting just like my sister does when she's mad. She wouldn't let me get a word in, so I rolled my eyes and left in the middle of her sentence (which I understand was not a good move, but I was already running late and I was angry now too). When I was done at the doctor's appointment, I decided to text her that it was actually a vent group about my sister to try and explain why the group wasn't actually a hate group. When I got home and into my room, she confronted me and we had a big argument. She kept on saying how I was bullying my sister, and apparently she talked to 2 of my friend's moms, saying "If your child made a hate group about someone, would you be mad?". They both responded with some form of "I'd be livid". One of those people got in trouble with their mom and had to write an apology letter to mine once their mom found out what my mom was talking about. In the argument, I told her that "I need a space to vent" and she said "The venting is not the problem, the name is". When I told her "It's just a joke name, because I obviously don't legitimately hate her", she said I was still bullying her. After that I got very defensive and started swearing (not directly at her, but for word emphasis), and she started saying I was disrespecting her now too. At that point I said I would change the name, because I know she's a hard-head and would rather die than admit that she's wrong in any given situation. I've changed the group chat name twice, and now were acting like nothing ever happened. I've talked to my friends that were in the group, and they've said that I'm NTA, but I'm still not sure if they are right or just biased because I'm their friend and they were hearing everything from my perspective. So AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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anjaelle · 1 year
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Hii I’m in loveeee with your writing I was wondering if you could write a Dave Lizewski x bimbo reader fic?
Oooh this sounds fun. I had to ruminate on this a bit, but I think I got it.
Pairing: College!Dave Lizewski x Bimbo!Reader
Rating: She's tame
Word Count: 1.3K
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--
He was staring again. Every time you turned to look at him, he would quickly avert his eyes to the front of the room. In confusion, you turned to look behind you, only to see the blank wall of the classroom. You looked back at him and found him staring straight ahead like he'd been caught doing something bad.
You pulled your phone out of your bag and opened the front facing camera to check to see if you forgot to properly blend your makeup again. Or maybe you had crumbs on your face.
It didn't look like you had anything on your face. Though you did think you could use a re-up on gloss, and maybe a touch-up on your brows. You accidentally left your makeup bag in your dorm, and you kept losing all of your backup purse makeup, so all you had was a lip balm and school stuff. You supposed that you could use this as an excuse to do a quick drugstore run across the street to pick up another backup makeup kit. But you also felt like you'd be missing out on the sushi buffet in the dining hall if you got there too late. You hadn't had sushi in a long time, it would've been a shame to miss it. Then again you could always order it from that one spot you went to with that one guy. What was his name again? Something with a "F"--
"Hello?" The professor said, addressing you and pulling you out of your thoughts. You raised your brows in surprise, and smiled sweetly.
"Hi!"
Your professor tapped her chin with a beautifully manicured nail and looked you over with a funny look on her face. "Your presentation topic for next week?"
"Oh!" You said, looking down at your notes. "Well, I might talk a little about how hard influencing is and how it's actually harder than a 9-5 job. I'm still deciding. What do you think, professor?"
There were a few whispers in the class as she thought hard on the question. At least that's what you thought she was doing.
"Why don't you workshop that and get back to me tomorrow?" She finally said, turning away from you and moving onto another classmate.
You pouted at yet another presentation subject being shot down and made a note in the margins of your notebook to do just that. You hated going to her office hours, because you felt like you could never really do anything right.
When class let out, you pulled your phone out to text your friends about your change of plans tomorrow, when you felt a gentle touch on your elbow and turned to find Lizewski. Knowing that he was quiet and always a little bit stuttery, you smiled politely and gave him your full attention.
"Hi, how are you?"
"H-Hey," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Uh...I saw that you've been having a bit of a hard time with our media class."
A few people passed by the two of you in the hallway and greeted you but shot a curious look his way.
"It's so bad isn't it?" You frowned, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "I'm literally so great at most Social Media outlets, I don't understand why this is so hard. I mean...it's all the same shit."
He nodded, wide eyed and eager as always, "You're so right."
"And I'm trying really hard, but I just can't get it."
"I can help!" He blurted out. "Only if you want. I mean, you probably don't need my help. But I'd be happy to, if you want."
"You'd help me?" You asked, genuinely touched. "I don't know if I can pay you much, but how much do you want?"
"You don't have to pay me, come on." He dropped his eyes to his sneakers and shifted his weight on his feet, "We've known each other since middle school."
This time your eyes widened in surprise, "We have?"
This time it was his turn to look at you in surprise and confusion, "You went to my Bar Mitzvah."
"I did?" Then you thought about it, "I only remember going to one, and it was this boy named David."
He let out a short laugh and nodded, "Yes, that was me."
"David?! But everyone calls you Lizewski! That's your last name?" He nodded again and you gasped. Your whole world turned upside down. Without thinking you pulled him into a tight hug, "It's so nice to see you again, David! I thought you moved away in high school!"
"No," he said against your shoulder, "I just grew my hair out. And got taller. And you can call me Dave, or David, or Lisewski. Whatever you want."
You pulled away from the hug with a huge grin, and you reached out to readjust his glasses which sat crookedly on his face. Then you looked him over, trying to see the skinny thirteen year old you remembered in the grown man in front of you. You could almost see it. If he cut his hair shorter, and lost about a foot of height, he'd totally look the same. You grasped his shoulders in appreciation.
"Well this is wonderful! I've never had a friend for longer than 3 years before!"
As you walked side by side across campus, you could feel people staring like you had three heads. After the fourth set of eyes on you, you nudged Dave with your elbow.
"Do I have something on my face?" You tilted your head from side to side so he could examine you properly, and he shook his head.
"No, why?"
"People keep staring at me." You frowned, "It's kind of weird."
Dave said nothing at first, but looked around to see the evidence of your suspicion and sighed. "I think it's because you're hanging out with me."
You snorted, "That can't be it. That's so silly."
He kicked a small rock down the footpath and hummed in disagreement, "Is it? I mean...you're you. I'm me. We don't really hang out. I think people are used to seeing you with guys from...Sigma Alpha Epsilon"
You still didn't get it, and you crinkled your nose in disgust at the mention of the name.
"I don't talk to them. They're losers," you shuddered again, "They all have a weird obsession with skulls too. Have you ever seen those skulls with the blue stripe down the middle? They all have them on their trucks. It's so weird."
You watched him raise a single brow as he kicked the rock further down the path, "Are you talking about The Punisher's symbol?"
Before you could ask, he showed you a picture on his phone and you nodded.
"Yeah that's it! What's The Punisher? Is that, like, a band?"
He chuckled, "It's a comic book character and his symbol gets misused a lot. He's a vigilante."
You frowned, thinking of why someone would choose to do something like that. That seemed kind of mean.
"Well can you really see me hanging out with a bunch of guys who like vigilantes?"
For some reason, Dave's step seemed to falter, and he peered at you curiously, "Oh. Are you--do you think vigilantes are bad?"
There was a hint of poorly disguised panic in his voice.
You were confused about why he was confused. The answer was obvious.
"Vigils are a good thing," you said, matter-of-factly. You were surprised that you had to break this down to someone as smart as him. "Sometimes people have vigils for their dead grandmas and their pets, and stuff. Someone who's anti-vigils is obviously not a good person."
Dave gave you a long, strange look and laughed. Like, actually laughed. You didn't understand what was so funny about being pro-vigils. You felt like that wasn't exactly a controversial opinion. Were you on the wrong side of history this whole time? Were vigils actually bad?
"Are they bad for the environment or something? Like, the candles?" You squinted at him. He rushed to ease your worries with an extended hand.
"No! No, it's--vigilantes aren't people who are anti-vigils. They beat up bad people."
Oh.
"What a weird name to have for that," You admitted rolling the word over in your brain. Then you brightened at the memory of something, "Hey there was a guy back home that was like that! Kick-Ass! Do you remember him?"
He said nothing for a moment, but shrugged in response.
"Yeah, kinda."
"All the girls in our grade were obsessed with him," you continued, fishing through your bag for your dorm key. "At first, we thought it was that one weird guy who used to try and sell us coke from the trunk of his car down the street from our school. But one girl said that he saved her dad from getting jumped, and he was apparently, like, young. At least college aged."
"Ha," Dave simply said, "Maybe. I kind of remember people thinking it was someone from our school, though. Someone most people wouldn't even really expect, because it'd be super hard to keep a low profile. Someone who's probably super strong and really cool, even though most people don't know it."
You suddenly giggled, "What if it was that guy Todd Haynes?"
Dave stumbled over his own feet and shot his hand out to steady himself.
"You know who Todd Haynes is?"
"Yeah, I know him. He was in my gym class!"
"He's my best friend, I've known him my whole life. I'm--shocked that you know him." You brightened at the new information.
"I didn't know Todd had friends! You sure are full of surprises today." He stared at you again. For a super long time. You weren't sure what was going on in his brain. You touched your cheek, "Again with the staring. I think you're lying. I definitely have something on my face."
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isaadore · 1 month
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take a pic | quinn hughes
pairing quinn hughes x reader (feat. luke + jack hughes)
SYNOPSIS a world where the reader captures every moment with a digital camera. wc 0.5k words
warnings all fluff! reader lives w quinn
note i had sm fun writing this so i hope u guys enjoy this imagine of a hobby photographer reader! i love the idea of the reader carrying a camera with her at all times and quinn supporting her little hobby. it’s so cute to me
masterlist
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at home
You will find every opportunity to take a picture, whether it is of your pets, the sky, or the delicious breakfast Quinn prepared for you that morning
Quinn always finds it adorable when you suddenly whip out your camera to take pictures of everyday things that are ordinary to him but beautiful to you
You secretly take photos of Quinn when he makes funny faces while doing a chore or playing video games, which always catches him off guard, but the photos always turn out cute, but he doesn't think so (party pooper)
Quinn loves to get you back for taking photos of him by stealing your camera and taking photos of you, but it never works because they always turn out good (to his demise)
When Luke and Jack come over, Luke often tries to take a picture or two since he thinks photography is cool, but he can never get the camera to work properly, which Quinn and Jack always laugh at him for
Quinn ALWAYS sits patiently as you go through hundreds of images, explaining each one in detail. He never gets bored with your talking and could listen to you forever, no matter what you're talking about
date nights
The date night photos are the cutest!
From the red roses to the white wine, your camera captures every single moment of these dates
A lot of the time, Quinn takes photos of you with the camera since he thinks you look gorgeous in that cream white silk slip dress you like to wear on fancy dinner dates
Don't get me wrong, Quinn's dress shirt and tie are your weakness, so there are definitely pictures of him smiling while wearing his cute outfit for the night
at the rink
Whether at their games or just practice, you have your camera out to take photos the team
You have many shots of the Canucks' home arena, especially post-games where the seats are empty and you're waiting for Quinn, but the atmosphere is so calm you have to capture it
At first, you were a little embarrassed to have your camera out, especially at the games, but Quinn told you that nobody else takes photos like you, and they are good memories to have
You've got so many cute pictures of him and his fans! He loves going through them with you (he loves his fans so much)
There are also a few pictures where he looks distressed on the ice, but also cute ones where he's waving at you (you don't know which of the two you like better)
at the lake house
During the summer, your memory card will fill up the fastest
From photos of sunsets to outdoor picnics to basement parties, your camera is full of memories from the summer
Many pictures show the brothers with their arms wrapped around each other on a boat, smiling happily at the camera
Jack always finds opportunities to take photos of you and Quinn messing around and splashing each other in the water (you guys look so happy it pains him)
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last note someone request stuff like this so i have an excuse to write straight fluff. as always, reblogs are always appreciated 🤍
love, isa
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dduane · 4 months
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From the Writing Advice dep't: A complicated ask, a serial answer (part 1)
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Every now and then I get an ask in the box that's complex enough that it has to be taken apart and answered in pieces. Also, sometimes I get queries in that are painful enough (in varying ways) that I elect not to attribute them when answering. This one is both.
I read the ask (and reread it, and rereread it, four or five or six times after it came in, and a bunch more times while I was on my back this week being sick), and gradually came to realize that for it to be properly handled I had no choice but to break it into pieces for best management.
There are three main strands to the issues this ask brings up: motivation, growth as a writer, and coping with or succeeding despite the current state of the publishing industry.
So let's dig in. Here's the first part of the ask:
I know there's no One True Path, but I'm struggling with this, and I'm sure others are too, so I'll just ask it. I want to make a career out of writing, but with shrinking attention spans and so much content to mindlessly consume, how do you keep the motivation to write? My friends get mad at me for getting discouraged when not even they read my writing. They get mad and say, "write for yourself, not for the validation!"
Welp. (sigh)
First of all, I think your friends are absolutely right. But we'll come back to that.
You have to understand that as far as the Search for Motivation goes, I'm probably Spiders DD, the outlier who seriously should not have been counted. I have been motivated to write stuff pretty much nonstop since I was eight, and did my first novel in crayon in a school notebook. (It was one of the thick notebooks. The ones with the black and white marbled covers. Most of you who come of US schools know the kind.)
So I'm really the wrong person to be asking about this, especially since it's now nearly the Year of our (Wood!) Dragon 4722, which would make me nearly, uh, six Years of the Dragon old. And being of such age, and a career midlist genre writer, I have the same source of motivation as the vast majority of my similarly-aged colleagues: the need to write or starve. (There's an Irish saying perfectly descriptive of my situation: "Too old to dig ditches and too scared to rob banks." That's my situation exactly. There's nothing left for me to do but to write.) :)
...Anyway, it's kind of amazing how that kind of motivation'll focus your intention, and help you keep it in place, once you're been working with it for a while.
At the beginning of a career, though, things can look a lot different as you start getting a handle on exactly what it is you like to write and why you like writing it. And having another job to keep you afloat while you find your way is seriously a very good idea if you can manage it.
It sounds very much to me as if you're still in the early "finding your way" stages. This is a place that a lot of writers pass through, so don't be concerned. It's rare for sudden perfect motivation-to-write to crystallize out of nothing. And never forget, the word itself is based on old Latin roots for movement, and provokes the question, "Yeah, okay, but which way?" Movement without intended direction tends to turn into a lot of unfocused flailing, which looks good on Kermit, but not so much on the rest of us.
(inserting a cut here, because honestly, this is gonna go on a bit)
So you need to sit down and start asking questions—and answering them—so you can draw some kind of map. "I want to make a career out of writing"? Fine. What kind of writing? Fiction? Nonfiction? If fiction, what kind? What do you like to read? Why? Is that something you'd like to write? Why? Why not? If there's something else you'd rather be writing—what else? And why?
The more you ask the questions and answer them—"Keep asking the next question," Ted Sturgeon never used to stop saying—and the further along your investigations get, the more likely you are (as you get close to the answers that matter) to start getting the itch to write something, something in particular. This process may take a while, and the itch may take a good while to manifest. Don't be alarmed by that. The old saying is that the fire from Heaven won't descend until you've built the altar for it. And it may take a while piling the rocks up into the right shape. Don't hurry. If this is something you intend to spend a lifetime on, make sure the foundations are sound. The time taken will be worth it.
And BTW, do you intend that kind of length of commitment? If you're not sure, that's fine. But there's no one else to ask at this point who can give you meaningful answers. This is the time to get into it. Work out what "having a career in writing" looks like for you. Then start investigating to see whether your conception has any foundation in reality as a kind of lifestyle you actually have decent odds on achieving. (Again, I'm an outlier here. I'd been writing for pleasure for a long time before I had the good fortune to befriend an actual career writer, examine his habits [and those of other writers in the LA area] at close range, and realize that this line-of-work choice was actually something that could be successfully pulled off by mere mortals.) After investigation, this is a call that only you can make.
But anyway. Once you've started experiencing the kind of motivation that comes of increased certainty about what you want to do and why, you'll find you're way less concerned about sourcing or supporting it externally. It tends to fuel itself. (As once it does descend, the fire from Heaven is tenacious stuff: more Greek than otherwise.)
But also: trying to designate outsourced exterior stimulants for motivation is a bad idea. The reason's simple: one day you'll need them and they won't be there. Conditions will have changed, or the outside-of-you sources into the hands of which you've resigned your motivational agency may not be available for one reason or another, temporarily or permanently... and then where are you? The concept's a nonstarter. If your motivation's acting up, you need to be looking inward, not outward, for ways to kickstart it. This is one of the most personal parts of the writing process. You need to own it.
(And yeah, even career writers' motivation slips sometimes: annoying career things happen, cyclic lows cut in at a bad time, you name it. Most of us work out ways to jar the motivation back into correct operation when it acts up. But for such corrections to work you must first know what it's like to generate or mine yours yourself... and you're still working on that. The methods you find to generate motivation toward doing the Work will also assist you in diagnosing it when it goes south, and putting it right again.)
Also: (sighing) Please let your friends off the hook as regards reading your material, and feedback. Your motivation to write should not be dependent on their feedback, and it's not a good idea to try to make friends feel responsible for keeping you on the creative track. Chief among reasons for this: they may not feel themselves up to the task of giving you the writing support you're apparently asking them for—possibly because they simply don't feel competent to. (This is where we could get into how I had to stop @petermorwood from rewriting his third novel for the third time due to conflicting notes from friends... but let's leave that for later.) At best you're possibly making your friends deeply uncomfortable. At worst, the pressure may damage the friendships.
Tl:dr; our friends may love us dearly, but that doesn't make them competent editors. If you're online, so are many writers' groups who'll welcome a new member who needs advice. Wait till you've got more data and clarity on your motivational issues, and then start shopping around for assistance that seems friendly and trustworthy.
And finally (for the moment), about other people's attention spans:
It'd be good if you can start training yourself away from the habit of worrying about those. For one thing, there's absolutely nothing you can do about them. You might as well worry about the 11-year sunspot cycle. The attention-span issue is just one more distraction from things you should usefully be thinking about. But also: A lot of what we hear about that situation strikes me as fearmongering (as, IIRC, it was supposed to cause the downfall of western civilization around the time I started writing for Scooby-Doo).
If you look around, you'll see that loads of people are willing to spend HUGE amounts of their attention on stuff they love. (I mean, have you been on AO3 lately? And we're just talking about free stuff, there. Lots of other people will do the same for traditionally published work, given the chance and the money.) Your job is to get on with writing, start putting what you're doing out there where people will have a chance to fall in love with it, and then deal with the consequences.
More of this next time. (And please bear with me, as I'm still not up to best operating speed after the last week's illness. I'll get to everything else you sent me, I promise.)
HTH!
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arkhammaid · 1 month
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE NEW GENERATION SUPERSTARS | TO A GOOD SEASON
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fandom. formula one & mcu
about. ollie and y/n talk for the first time... even if it's over text. takes part right after the strategy reveal
content warnings. smau, not edited/proofread
notes. have this first chapter before i dip into my holidays hehe
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hey y/n! i hope you don't mind me reaching out, but i thought it would be good, since we're the only rookies and never properly met :) to a good season!
oh hi oliver! i don't mind at all, thank you for the message. to a good season for us
are you busy with preperations as well?
yeah
ferrari is definitely a step up from f2, haven't had a free minute for weeks now
welcome to f1 lol 😂
leclerc treating you well? it must've been a mess with sainz...
no worries, charles has been very welcoming, i'm really honored to be his teammate. and the thing with carlos... yeah, it was a bit, but we actually get along well
good good, wanna see you racing and not getting distracted by some bitch fighting in the garage
lmao 😂😂
nah nah, all good. to be honest, he's still a bit prickly about how ferrari and lewis handled those rumors... but well, it isn't really my business
good good
have to run, dad wants to wrap up our moves to ny
but we'll see each other soon, yeah? lemme know when you have time for a proper talk, we definitely have to stick together as rookies
the grid can be a cruel world
alright, have a nice day! don't know about free time yet, but the lastes we'll see each other will be in bahrain
awesome, till then oliver :)
you can call me ollie
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let's meet up in bahrain
hello to you too, y/n
hello ollie
so, let's meet up
i'll be there a few day earlier, you as well?
i actually planned to come with ferrari, but i can come earlier!
awesome. you can entertain me then :)
what about the rest of your team?
kev is back with his family and doesn't want to leave them too early, my dad is busy because the president is an incompetent fuck, harley and peter are working on publishing a paper before they join and the rest is just generally busy
damn. alright, as long you plan everything? i have nothing prepared lol
sure! we can go training together and i know a few nice places we can hit before the stress begins
great!!
i'll send you the data later, don't worry, i'll pay for the hotel
you really don't have to
i don't care, you're hanging out with me, i will pay for stuff. i know you could stay at home but you're gonna spend time with me so shut it
alright
hehe, until bahrain. can't wait!!
until then, y/n 😊
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taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @themercyverse , @lehm-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles , @fangirl-dot-com , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikifiguerido , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora , @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 , @greeneyesandsunshine ,  @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @leclucklerc , @yl90
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
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waldau · 2 months
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i don't know anyone who writes wonwoo as perfect as you! you manage to capture his personality so well🥺could i please request a friends to lovers thing for wonu? you've been friends for YEARS and you've had your moments and hidden glances but this one night you're just sitting out and feeling the winter breeze together. he can feel you staring and asks why you're doing that..while you contemplate whether to give in and just confess. you're so overwhelmed with emotions for him but you're also so terrified to tell him bcos you're scared to change the dynamics your relationship has so far.
thank you so much for saying that about my writing, anon :') took me entirely too long but i had a sudden burst of inspiration after seeing the latest gam3 bo1 wonwoo with long hair 😵‍💫 hope you like this! title taken from the english version of crush by seventeen.
hearts in parallel — jeon wonwoo | 2,730 words | fluff
gender neutral reader. warnings: none.
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wonwoo's standing outside your car in the parking lot of your office. part of you is convinced you're just imagining things, because he's supposed to be in japan. touring. doing idol things. having fun.
every morning you look forward to the pictures he's made a habit of sending whenever he's on tour, whether they're what he had for breakfast, or what a sleeping dokyeom looked like with a moustache drawn on his face. his only motive for doing that has been to convince you to let him take you on a vacation whenever you're free, because he says there's always something you'd enjoy wherever he goes.
it's sweet. it really is. even if you have to keep reminding him that you have your usual 9-5 that's so different from his schedules.
but it is wonwoo, when you focus on the way he's standing against the hood of your car, hands in his pockets as he looks at what you assume is the view of the sun setting in the distance. crazy how he'd sent a picture of it to you just today morning from another country.
suddenly, you fell woefully out-dressed. it's your usual work attire, but wonwoo's got his airport look on, complete with a dashing coat that you've never seen before. maybe he has it on only for today.
"surprise?" wonwoo asks sheepishly, when he catches you staring at him.
you blink once more, just in case. "wonwoo?" you ask, a little uncertain. "aren't you supposed to..."
"tour ended last night," he explains, pushing himself to stand properly. "i texted you afterwards."
you think back to the messages you exchanged last night, but they're a haze at best. all you can currently think of is your calendar you've been crossing things off of for a better part of the day.
any other time, you'd be extremely happy to see wonwoo, but today you don't feel like you can match his energy. "sorry," you murmur, rubbing your face. maybe if you rub it hard enough he'll disappear and you can catch up with him when you're a bit more presentable.
"hey, no," he says, catching your wrist as you pull your hands away. "you look perfectly fine. did i catch you at a wrong time?"
you realize you just said your last sentence out loud. "just tired," you say, proud of yourself at how even your voice is despite the fact that your hand is in his. "i'm glad you're here, though."
wonwoo lets go of your hand. "then is it fine if i drive you home?"
you look at him. he looks pretty serious, and you snort. "did you seriously come here just to drive me home?"
wonwoo nods. "straight from the airport. dropped my stuff home, then took a cab and came here."
no wonder he's still got the airport look on.
"you're a weird man, jeon wonwoo," you say, searching for your keys in your pocket.
"that's probably why we're friends," he deadpans, catching the keys you toss him.
"you should be sleeping," you say, chucking your bag on the backseat. "or resting at home. not being my chauffeur."
"maybe i wanted to be your chauffeur because i'm not sleepy," wonwoo replies, slipping on his seatbelt, waiting for you to do the same before starting your car. "it's been a while since we've hung out together."
that's true, you think. ever since you got this new job, your hours have been filled with work, and even though you're not overly swamped, you've been seeing your friends a bit less frequently than you would have liked. wonwoo included. and wonwoo's also had less time to spend with you, given how the band's been planning more foreign tours in the past year.
so you're glad you're spending time with him, even if you're not at your best.
"who said you don't look good?" wonwoo asks.
you bite your tongue when you realize you've spoken out your thoughts again — it's just a testament to how tired you are, with no filter between your thoughts and words. you shake your head, but wonwoo's not having any of it.
"i came here straight off my flight and i look absolutely dishevelled. you're lucky i don't mind you seeing me like this."
"your so-called dishevelled airport look is just as good as me at my best, so don't even start, okay?"
"yah," wonwoo says, laughing. "i don't appreciate you slandering yourself like that."
"fine, what do you appreciate?"
"you spending some time with me and not worrying about anything else."
blunt, as always. you appreciate it, even if it makes your heart jump a little. and it's not that you're worrying over anything: it's just the sudden nature of wonwoo's appearance that has you a little confused. but you're not complaining.
"by the way," wonwoo says, when you finally pull out onto the main road after leaving all the traffic behind, "i got you something."
"again? wonwoo, i told you i don't need souvenirs from every—"
"this was for your birthday, sweetheart," he says, pausing to pull something out of the pocket of his coat. "i still have your stuff from japan waiting to be unpacked."
"you're a menace, won," you say, hands hesitating to accept the slim box sitting on the dashboard. "i told you i didn't want anything."
"and i told you it'd be a crime if i didn't get you anything. maybe i would've listened to you if you didn't get that insanely expensive camera for me."
you glance at him. "that's—"
"—a completely valid argument," he retorts, reaching for the slim box and putting it in your lap. "i've been waiting to see your reaction ever since i got it."
shaking your head, you make a show of opening it. one thing about wonwoo is that he somehow always knows what to gift others. you could tell him you didn't want anything, and then he'd give you something you didn't even know you wanted.
case in point: there's a dainty silver chain sitting in the box, with the pendant looking very familiar. you take a closer look at it and realize—
"you didn't."
wonwoo has his mischievous grin on. "of course i did."
it's a customized engraving of your cat on the circular coin of metal, a perfect replica down to the little discoloured patch of fur on your cat's face.
you'd complained to wonwoo, once, drunkenly, about this really cute online jewellery store that sold customized necklaces. you'd never been able to find it again despite going through your search history and searching the web extensively.
now that it's sitting in your hands, you can't help but wonder how much time he must have spent tracking it down, finding the perfect picture for the engraving.
"i don't know how to thank you," you say honestly, looking at wonwoo. he still has the smile on his face, looking straight ahead.
"just wear it forever, and you're good."
"oh, emotionally manipulating me? is that how it's going to be?" you ask, tracing the chain with your finger.
"i don't think it's manipulation if it's your cat."
you can't argue with that. you snap the box shut and put it in the pocket of your jeans. "you shouldn't have, won," you say perfunctorily.
wonwoo doesn't respond, simply choosing to switch on the radio.
for once, you're not driving, and you get the chance to appreciate how beautiful the city looks when it's nearing night.
"you hungry?" wonwoo asks, when the car stops at a red light.
you shake your head. "not for a few more hours. you?"
"nope," wonwoo says, flexing his fingers on the wheel. "but tonight's a full moon night, so i was thinking we could go to the riverside and just hang out near the pier? if you're not too tired?"
you think about it. you get to hang out with wonwoo in the moonlight, which will definitely be a sight to behold. the way he's been living rent-free in your mind for a while now is embarrassing, to say the least.
"i don't mind."
you sneak glances at him when he's answers a call from dino asking him if he's free to hang out tomorrow, when he's excited to hear one of his own songs on the radio. he's cute, and the feeling's eating you up from the inside every single time you're with him.
he just looks so...boyfriend. he's let his hair grow out, and black really is his colour. not to mention his glasses which might just be your undoing.
wonwoo parks at a spot not far from the pier.
you get out of the car and immediately get hit by a gust of cool air, and you're really glad wonwoo decided to come pick you up today, because there's no way you would've come here by yourself.
the walkway around the river seems nicer than the last time you were here, bigger and better with more lights and somehow, lesser people. it's exactly what you need right now.
you fall in step alongside wonwoo, comfortably silent as you make your way from the car park, the relative silence amplifying the sound of insects chirping and people chattering around you.
you don't look down for a second, and suddenly there's a tiny pebble that gets stuck in your shoe and trips you up. you brace yourself for a slightly hard impact, but the next thing you know is that wonwoo's arm is around your waist, pulling you into himself.
"careful," he chides softly, rubbing your back for a moment before letting go. "are you okay?"
you nod mechanically.
"let's switch sides. the light's better here."
it's these little things that wonwoo does, that make you fall for him even more. what started off as a little crush is now a hopeless, helpless twinge in your heart that multiplies whenever you so much as look at him. no matter how much you've gotten better at controlling your feelings around him, you can't help but stare at how good he looks tonight, the moon highlighting his face, its silver beams running through his black hair.
you've really, really missed this. just hanging out with him. and maybe you miss the time before you realized your feelings were so earth-consumingly deep that it began clouding every interaction the two of you have had.
"do you have the box with you?" wonwoo asks, all of a sudden.
you question his words for a second, then remember. "yeah," you say, patting at the slim box sitting in the pocket of your jeans.
"let me put it on for you?"
what should have been a calm night out with wonwoo by the riverside has now ended up into you becoming a mess of nerves, your skin burning where his fingertips touch you, fastening the clasp into place. you can't see how it looks on you right now, but wonwoo already has a solution.
"stand here," he says, directing you to a particularly bright lamppost. "you need to see how good it looks on you."
you try protesting, but wonwoo brushes away your concerns. "let me just take a picture. just one."
it's never just one picture with wonwoo, and you can't stop him when he has his mind set on something. you give in and stand under the light and try to muster up a real smile for the camera. you succeed because it's wonwoo standing behind the camera, pulling a funny face that makes you laugh.
he shows you the photos once he's done taking them, and you're not looking at the camera in a single one. he always makes you look better than you do, somehow. you return the favour, taking pictures of him posing in the same spot.
"these are good," wonwoo remarks, scrolling through the photos. "i'm glad you got the moon, too."
you nod before you say something embarrassing like you're the moon, though. you watch as wonwoo takes some more pictures of the sky, and the life around the riverside. the restaurants and shops light up the view for you but you can't help but just look at wonwoo. he looks so serene and in his environment that you can't help but wonder if having wonwoo as your boyfriend would entail dates like this on a regular basis.
"you're staring," is all he says, after two full minutes of silence.
you hum and slowly turn your gaze away from him, focusing on the trees in the distance, trying to play it off casually. rookie error.
"is everything okay?" he asks, pocketing his phone and moving a bit closer to you. "want to go home?"
you shake your head. "you?"
"no, i'm fine."
and then his hand is covering yours.
you try your best not to freak out, but under his hand, your hand is gripping the railing so tightly that you're sure your knuckles are white.
"sorry i missed your birthday," wonwoo says, leaning in close enough that he's towering over you. it's the perfect height to k—
"it's not your fault," you say, licking your lips. "you had work. and you even called me when you were free."
"still. it doesn't make up for me not being here."
"i don't mind," you say honestly, your other hand gripping the railing for strength you don't currently possess. "you're here now."
wonwoo hums, seemingly dissatisfied. your hand's genuinely burning under his, and you resist the urge to check if it's on fire.
"well, for what it's worth," wonwoo says, turning to face you, "i hope you had a good day, and i hope i'm there for your birthday next year. like a good friend."
"you are a good friend, won," you say quietly. "the best."
you wonder if you should just give in and tell him how you feel. given you know how mature he is, you doubt he's going to shun you the way you're afraid he will, but part of you doesn't want your dynamic to change. he's so easy to talk to, and he knows so much about you, and you're afraid of having to find it all over again in another person. maybe it's for the best to let this moment pass.
"you are too, sweetheart." his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, and something in you snaps.
"would you still consider me the best if i told you i liked you?"
wonwoo blinks. in the wake of his silence you can once again hear the vehicles on the road behind you, the sounds of people around you, and maybe even your heart if you shut your eyes.
"you know," he says after a while, his grip on your hand still in place, "i've been trying to give you a chance to say that for the past few months."
your brain plays a comically loud record scratch sound. you look up at him, but he's smiling.
"what."
"i...was hoping there would be a small chance you liked me, and then jeonghan let it out one night when we were out drinking. but i couldn't make the first move because i was scared."
"you were scared? of?"
wonwoo takes his hand back and rubs his neck sheepishly. "i didn't know if he was telling me the truth or making things up. you know jeonghan."
"...yeah," you say, brain still trying to get back on track. "so right now i have one more person on my hitlist."
"whoa, what? i just...implied i liked you!"
"and i just said— wait. what?"
wonwoo laughs. "do you want to be on the same page as me?"
you nod slowly, still processing things. still not believing your luck.
"here's what we'll do, then," wonwoo says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "i'm going to drive you home tonight. then we can take jeonghan off your hitlist and send him some more alcohol, just as a thanks."
you wouldn't even have imagined this a few hours ago. you trail your fingers along the railing, reaching out to hold wonwoo's hand again. he meets your fingers with ease. "and what do i get in return?"
"you get to call me your boyfriend. and kiss me, if you like." wonwoo's leaning over you again. it's the perfect height to kiss you.
and he does end up kissing you, this time.
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taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee
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luveline · 1 year
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hi jade <3 was wondering if you’d write smth about bau reader getting injured or smth and hotch being all over her in the hospital:)
hope this is okay baby! ♥︎ fem!bau!reader tw car accident injuries
You wake up to Hotch kissing the back of your hand. You know it's him, but you're desperate to be funny. 
"Spence, I don't think we're at this point in our friendship," you mumble lethargically.
Hotch doesn't laugh. You frown and open your eyes slowly, so slowly it feels as though your eyelashes are coming apart one at a time. You blink against the burning ache of the white walls, floors, and curtains surrounding you. Even the window broadcasts the snow-heavy branches of a pine tree. 
Hotch is sitting ramrod straight in a vinyl chair beside your bed. You wonder why he's so low down, before realising you're high up. Your hospital bed is elevated. 
"What's wrong?" you ask in concern. 
He looks like he hasn't slept properly for a long time, his under eyes puffy and his face more stubbly than you're used to. 
Hotch stands up from his chair, your hand still held delicately in his, and kisses your cheek. He rests his forehead against the kiss print a second later, sighing from the very depth of his chest. 
"You have a broken collar bone," he says quietly. "That's what's wrong." 
"With you, I mean." 
"It's the same answer." He squeezes your hand and pulls away. "You also had a bad concussion, but that shouldn't be bothering you anymore. Tell me if it is." 
"I… crashed the SUV." 
"You did." 
"Did I go through the windshield?" 
Hotch's hand slides up your arm, from wrist to elbow to upper arm. His thumb rubs the soft fat there sweetly. "No. You hit the steering wheel very hard." 
"And you got the unsub?"
"We got the unsub." 
You know what Hotch is thinking. He wants to ask you, maybe tell you, to never take a risk like that again. That your life is worth more than catching an unsub. But sometimes it doesn't feel true — you'll take the concussion and the broken collarbone ten times over if it means you can catch a child killer. And plus, you can't remember any of it. Thank you, brain. 
"How many days?" am I missing?
He stands up tall. "Only two. You're lucky, they gave you the good stuff."
You try to hug him and gasp — your arm doesn't want to move, and when you force it the pain slices through. "Can't be that good," you gasp, looking down at yourself. Your left arm is in a sling that leaves little room for grabbing him. 
"Your collarbone is still broken," he says. 
You burst out laughing and it stings with every jostle of your shoulder. His deadpan delivery has the power to make you laugh no matter the circumstance, including your awful dry mouth and your aching collar. 
"Don't move around," he pleads. 
You tip your head away from him. "Will you hug me?" 
Thank earth that even Hotch knows when professionalism is out the window. He eases your shoulders forward to slide his arm between you and the bed, cautious not to hurt you but hugging startlingly tight at the same time. 
"Sorry if I smell bad," you murmur. 
He rubs his cheek against your ear, says, with true humour this time, "They've been giving you sponge baths." 
"That is so embarrassing." 
He dips back to kiss your cheek. You lose count of them, and you savour each one. Who needs morphine?
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