#don't read if triggered

[paisholotus]

Hard Times

T'challa x black fem reader

Summary: T’Challa’s wife is dealing with the after effects of having a baby.

Warnings: Postpartum Depression, Strong Language, Mentions Of Suicidal Thoughts

Translations: Sthandwa (My Love) Intombazana yomntwana ( Baby Girl) Uthando lwam (Beloved) Ukumkanikazi wam ( My Queen) Ndiyakuthanda ( I Love You) Ndiyakuthanda, nawe ( Love You, Too) Nobabini ( Both Of You)

❗DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED❗

Requested By: @bluesapphire2

A/N: This MF Long. But I hope you like it fren. And I hope y'all like it

3rd Pov

It’s the most glorifying day for the kingdom of Wakanda. A new heir has been born.

Princess Lesedi Udaku came into the world. Her name meaning “Ray Of Light”, she gave that to her family and everyone who knew about her.

Except for the most important person. Her mother. Who couldn't seem to have any light in her eyes, when she looked at her daughter.

The King T’Challa fawned over his daughter even more since she was born. She was a perfect mix of him and his wife, having both of your features. T’Challa’s high cheekbones, your smooth coco brown skin, his tight curls, and your big beautiful brown eyes. She was beyond the words perfect, she was everything he could have imagined. T'challa thanks Bast every day, for bringing his beloved Intombazana yomntwana into the world.

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Y/N Pov

I looked at her and felt nothing but emptiness. I couldn’t help the blank expression on my face when I held her close to my chest, holding her skin to skin. It’s not that i didn’t love her. How could i not love her? SHE'S FUCKING MINE, FOR BAST SAKE! Shit, I begged for her. I spent 9 months caring and nurturing her, but why did i feel nothing when she looked at me? I felt absolutely nothing, and it was gut wrenching. I waited and prayed for my child, and she's gets here and I couldn't feel nothing. What is wrong with me?

T’Challa, being the observant husband he was, noticed the joy i had during my pregnancy disappeared once our child actually came. His face held concern every time he looked at me. I would hear him ask his mother Ramonda, about what was wrong with me, and she simply replied with: “My son, she spent 12 hours in labor trying to give birth to your daughter. She is exhausted, mentally and physically. Give her time, she'll be fine and back to herself in no time."

It's been two weeks, i had multiple mood swings. I was irritable, and having thoughts about my baby that i shouldn't be having. And it scared the hell out of me, because Bast knows i would never hurt my baby. I didn't have the strength to be around my little girl, but I was constantly sad because i wasn’t around her.

What added to my stress was me not producing enough milk as much as i wanted to. I already felt like i didn't bond with her, but now I couldn't do the SIMPLEST THING which is feed my baby. I slowly felt myself getting more and more depressed. I started thinking what good is it for me to be here, if I couldn't feel any love for my child. I truly felt broken.

T'challa walked into the room as I paced back and forth beside the bed. “Why am I feeling this way, T’Challa?!” i questioned him angrily as hot tears ran down my cheeks.

He looked like he didn't know what to say, but walked towards me. “I-I do- I do not know, my love, but it'll get better. You know I'm always here for you." He said, reaching out for me.

I glared at him backing away taking in a ragged breathe. I angrily placed my hands on the sides of my head, and let out a choked sob. I looked back at him, his eyes glossy and a frown on his face. And it made me Angry! Not because of him, because of the stress and worry I was putting him through. It just seemed like I couldn't do ANYTING FUCKING RIGHT!

“Get out, T’Challa.” i turned my back away from him, so he wouldn't see me crying, and walked towards the bed, to get in the covers. When he attempted to grab me, i pushed him away.

“I SAID FUCKING LEAVE!” He slowly backed away, and began walking out of the room. I got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head, and began sobbing. What is happening to me?

➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️

T’Challa’s Pov

I went to the doctor monitoring Y/N and Lesedi. The doctor informed me that it was common for her to be extremely sad, which occurs in a lot of women after giving birth.

“The Queen is suffering from postpartum depression, my king.” he told me. I looked at him confused.

“I've never heard of this....depression.” i was genuinely confused. I did not know she was depressed. How could i not see this? I just want to understand why.

“How is she depressed? She gave birth to the child we begged Bast for? I don't understand why she isn't happy. I said, looking at the doctor who gave me a sympathetic look.

“It’s not that she is not happy, T'challa. Her hormones, her worries, the stress of dealing with a newborn, can all bring upon this depression.” he said. He went to grab his clip board and started naming all the symptoms of Postpartum Depression.

anger

anxiety

guilt

hopelessness

loss of interest or pleasure in activities

mood swings

panic attacks

I folded my arms and frowned at each symptom he named. My Love was going through all this this?

Uncontrollable crying

irritability

restlessness

 fatigue or loss of appetite

depression or fear

The thought of Y/N feeling like this, and trying to deal with it by herself hurt me. I felt tears brim my eyes but I quickly held my composure. I needed to be strong for Y/N, and to make sure she knew I was here for her.

I now had a better understanding, and thanked him, taking my leave to check on Y/N. I don't know what's going on with my Uthando lwam, but I will not stop until I figure it out.

➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️

3rd Pov

T'challa walked in the room to see you in the bedroom again curled up in a ball. You were in bed with a pained look on your face. Y/N saw his face, and looked like she wanted to cry even more. This wasn’t only hurting you, it was hurting him too. It was hurting the baby. He got into bed and after a few moments of silence, he spoke.

"I need you to tell me what's going on with you, Sthandwa."

Y/N sighed deeply, shaking her head and turning away from him.

“You won’t understand, T’Challa.”He turned your body back towards him and stared into your eyes. “You’re not letting me understand. We are one, Ukumkanikazi wam. You can't keep shutting me out. I need you, our daughter needs you." He said, softly.

"She deserves a mother that’s happy to be around her and I’m not. I feel EMPTY! And I don’t understand because those 9 months I spent with her in my STOMACH, I felt so close to her but now she’s actually here and I don't feel ANYTHING! LIKE WHAT IS THE POINT?! I CAN'T FEED HER RIGHT! EVERY TIME I TRY TO HOLD HER SHE CRIES! AND IT'S MY FAULT BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE A BOND! I just feel like she'll be better off without me." She said, As tears streamed down her face.

He grabbed your face. “D-Do...... Do not say that! You are everything to me and you are everything to her. Do not say you are nothing! AND SHE WOULDN'T BE BETTER OFF! AND NEITHER WOULD I! WE NEED YOU! this WORLD and this COUNTRY NEEDS YOU! Do you understand?" Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, and cried into his shoulder and slowly nodded.

T'challa rubbed her back soothingly and kissed the side of her head, and turned her head so she could look at him. "I need you. Our daughter needs you. This kingdom needs you. You have to believe me when I say you are needed.”

After a hour of them comforting each other, T'challa got an idea, and kissed Y/N's head saying he'll be right back. Y/N sat up against the headboard and watched her husband walk out. Y/N sat in thought and tried to think positive, her and T'challa was going to make it through this, she'll just have to keep fighting.

T'challa walked in carrying Lesedi as she dranked from her baby bottle. T'challa got In bed beside his Queen, and slowly handed Lesedi to Y/N. She carefully took her and stared into her big brown eyes. Lesedi stared at her mama and reached her little chubby arm up and placed her hand on her mama's cheek, smiling letting out a gurgling noise.

Suddenly, it all hit her. A rush of happiness, joy, and love came barreling into Y/N, tears streaming down her face, as she started laughing. Y/N prepped many kisses on her daughters face. This is your daughter. This is yours. All yours. You knew you loved her with every fiber of your being, but now you finally felt it, and it was the most indescribable feeling you ever felt in your life.

T'challa looked at his wife with tears in his own eyes, and scooted over wrapping his arm around her back, and kissed her cheek.

"Ndiyakuthanda." He whispered to her. She turned to look at him with the biggest smile he's seen in a long time. "Ndiyakuthanda, nawe." And kissed his lips, pulling away and looking back at her daughter. "Nobabini"

#black reader #black writers #black representation #black tumblr #self post #tumblelog #black excellence #poc reader #black girls #poc writer #T'challa #t'challa x black! reader #black panther #Wakanda forever #postpartum depression #depression #don't read if triggered #t'challa x black reader #chadwick boseman

[hajihiko]

two shorties getting along 🤭

#an art #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #chihiro fujisaki #Chiaki too... Fuyuhiko has a bit of a type maybe .... #Just because I don't wanna talk about Chihiro doesn't mean I can't appreciate these cute ass interactions! #I also read over more interactions. Ryoma and Impostor bond a lot as expected! And Mondo and Chihiro... 😭 #These R all quick work doodles that's why quality #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 stage #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #Danganronpa thh

[a2zillustration]

If this was about that letter I took out of someone's mailbox yesterday IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I DIDN'T MEAN TO AND I PUT IT RIGHT BACK-

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[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

#bg3 really said acab LMAO #I genuinely have no idea what triggered this #I did the entire bhaal tribunal right before this and then long rested so I don't know if there was- #something else I'd done the day before that triggered this or if it was a bug #Regardless - hilarious #WAIT HANG ON I HAD BEEN SNEAKING AROUND THE BARRACKS BUT I WAS INVISIBLE HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY KNOW IT WAS ME- #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #croissant adventures #tav #flaming fist #comics #also can I just say how funny it is that the guards DO NOT CARE if you're digging around in someone's postbox reading their mail gnjkfdnshd

[angi-writes-filth]

An art student's ramble about Lobo from Puss In Boots

As y'all know I'm a visual artist so ofc I'm aware that a HUGE part of creating visual content is intentional. Like, chances are if you see something being made a certain way, there was thought behind it. There are references being made and/or this was done with a specific intent in mind.

So ofc the moment I saw THIS

I was like.... why?

Why why why?? Why the pose? Why is it so symmetric? Why the balance in all the scenes and his figure and design WHY??

(rambles about visuals, possibly grotesque imagery and talks about death, various gods, and tons of pictures BEWARE)

Then I realized HOW MANY REFERENCES to other Gods/omens of death The Wolf has??? Like:

Death. Straight up.

(I don't think I need to explain myself for this one...)

Kinda cool how they decided to include a more "scythe-looking weapon" at the end, only when Lobo decides to get serious. Kinda like he's becoming more "Grim Reaper-y" when he stops playing around. More on DW's choice of weapons for our edgy furry friend later honhonhon.

Big Bad Wolf

The universal, historical omen of death. Present in many stories like Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs to name a few. Always the ultimate symbol of evil (fun fact: Most old bedtime stories we know today are passed from generation to generation; by the time these were created and put to use, it's most likely they were either made to warn children not to wander off into the woods for fear of being eaten predators, or for the risk of running into criminals shunned out of society and who normally retreated into the forests since they had no other place to live and couldn't leave the fiefs.)

Wolves are also predators that chase their preys, and exhaust them before going in for the kill. Much how like he does during the movie.

Also, it's possible Lobo isn't even the true form of Death in this universe. It may very well be the form he adapted to scare off Puss in particular; because canine v.s. kitties amirite?

(this could also be a huge stretch but the dark patch of fur on his face reminds some people of a bird, which could be interpreted as a crow. i personally think it's just a design element to attract more attention to the face/make his eyes stand out more but i included it cuz why not).

El Silbón/El Silbador

"El Silbón" (The Whistler; also known as "El Silbador" in Colombia) is a legend from Venezuelan origin of a young man condemned to carry the bones of his father, whom he himself killed.

It is said if his whistle is to be heard, the more far away it is, the closer you are to your death.

Could also explain why the hell the Wolf is Latino LMAO. (Hearing him talk full sentences in Spanish scared me to Death haha get it? d-death)

Charon's Obol

The bribe for Charon, the ferryman who carried the soul through the river that divides life and death.

Osiris

This was one of the things I found interesting the most lmao. Like, I knew that pose reminded me of something...

I've read many people attribute this to Anubis, but from my research, it's actually not. This pose was used in sarcophagus by Pharaohs to resemble the God of the Underworld and Judge of the Dead, Osiris. What Osiris holds to his chest are a crook and flail.

Wikipedia offers the following explanation:

Traditionally crossed over the chest when held, they probably represented the ruler as a shepherd whose beneficence is formidably tempered with might. In the interpretation of Toby Wilkinson, the flail used to goad livestock, was a symbol of the ruler's coercive power: as shepherd of his flock, the ruler encouraged his subjects as well as restrained them.

AND NOW WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK ABOUT!!!

Lobo's Symmetry

Okay this is a purely personal take, but am I the only one who found it incredibly interesting how balanced and symmetric his design is?

A rule of thumb when designing interesting-looking characters is to say fuck you to symmetry and balance. It usually works for a much more exciting silhouette and generates more visual interest. However, in Wolf's case, they made a ton of effort to make him look extremely symmetric.

His face doesn't have any distinct marks that separate one side from the other.

His cloak is a triangular shape that converges somewhat in the middle (the only element that breaks the overall perfect sillhouette).

And they went out of their way to divide the Grim Reaper's signature scythe into two: Which he usually holds to his sides, almost at the same height. Like, why would they? Why bother to do all that?

WELL WHY DON'T WE ASK OUR KINGS OF SIMMETRY THEMSELVES, HUH?

T h e E g y p t i a n s (insert papyrus font here)

Symmetry is usually seen as the ultimate form of perfection. It is unachievable by most human standards, so it is notably known for causing feelings of detachment to a figure, even if it is recognizably human.

If you had a person who was entirely, perfectly symmetrical on both sides of their face, changes are, the uncanny valley effect would be triggered. Try grabbing a picture of a person's face, flip one of its sides and connect it with the other....... Looks weird, right?

The uncanny valley effect is normally used to depict images of deities and the like, because it usually instills the most literal form of 'fear of God'. Something that is so perfect that, by its presence alone, it makes you feel awkward.

The same principle is used by architects in churches even today: The more other-wordly, detached but still recognizably human you get, the more a person is made to feel powerless and awkward. Thusly, easier to control.

In summary, Wolf's design is made to look as symmetric and balanced as possible because he's supposed to feel other-worldly, even before we find out who he is. He's supposed to resemble something unachievable by human standards because he's not human. He's supposed to look out of place because he's Death. Straight up.

Every aspect of Lobo's design is sooo carefully thought out I just LOVE IT. Like have you noticed how his eyes stop giving off light during the scene we find out he's actually DEATH???

I JUST-- I LOVE THE WORK DREAMWORKS PUT IN THIS CHARACTER. I LOVE HOW HE'S JUST SIX MINUTES INTO A 1 HOUR 40 MINUTES MOVIE AND HE SOMEHOW STILL STOLE THE SHOW. I LOVE HOW YOU SPEND EVERY MINUTE GLUED TO THE SCREEN, ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF WHEN YOU'LL HEAR THAT STUPID WHISTLE NEXT.

Edit: I don't understand why, but Tumblr is fucking with the formatting and I've been trying to fix it, but I can't. It's genuinely upsetting me lmao but yeah. I promise it looks better when it's in my drafts but the moment I save it, it justttttt does whatever it wants. I'm so sorry! Edit: I THINK I FIXED IT GUYS say THANK YOU to fumbling with HTML, fucking everything right up to the point where the post itself doesn't know what to do and gives up with my ass like "OKAY OKAY I'LL FIX THIS MYSELF GOD"

#I'm not a furry BUT #That's the worst sentence I've ever written in my life but HEAR ME OUT OKAY #I'm not a furry but I'd LOVE to rub Lobo's belly #HE LOOKS LIKE A DOGGYYYYYY!! #He triggers my monkey brain who sees a fluffy canine-like creature and thinks OHHHH WHO'S A GOOD BOOOOYYY //intense belly rubs #Makes me wanna scratch behind his ears when they flop around after he removes his hood HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEE #When he's not like....... Looking into my soul through the screen that is #dreamworks #dreamworks animation #puss in boots #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots death #puss in boots wolf #puss in boots lobo #angi rambles filth #No one's gonna read this shit I already know #But I needed to get all this out of my system #And I don't wanna spam my friend Lunxi's DMs even though it's HER HUSBAND I'm gushing about #DEADLYROCKET SHIPPER HASTA LA MUERTE ÑAÑAAÑÑAÑA

[ghouljams]

THAT

the last tag

the # its not what Ghost needs at least

does Ghost ever tell Die that ? how does Die feel about it ? in your opinion, what *does* our Ghostie boy need ?

This is just my opinion and character analysis but what Ghost needs is a safe harbor, someone that he doesn't have to be Ghost with. What Hell thinks he needs is another weapon in his arsenal, and someone to cover his back(because the man is imho probably not taking great care of himself).

Die is a great compliment to Ghost, she's vicious, tactically smart, and enjoys her work. She's not, however, a good compliment to Simon; a man who's already gone through hell and doesn't need or want the reminder. A man who I think holds a lot of complex feelings over the man that he's become as Ghost, and who is desperately clinging to the idea that he's doing evil for the greater good.

Ghost is avoiding you. Which is a real testament to his abilities if you’re being honest. You’re quite literally tied to his soul and somehow he’s still managing to keep you from catching him. You thought things were going well. You finally got a decent meal, Ghost got to let out some of the meaner thoughts he’s had about you --you’re not examining that-- and everything should be totally good. Peachy even. So why the hell is your lieutenant dismissing you and brushing you off at every turn. You can’t even creep into his thoughts, he’s shut up tighter than a vault. 

Soap catches Ghost's arm in the gym, "You seen Die, I had a question."

"Haven't seen 'er all morning." Ghost tells him evenly.

"Liar," You whisper in his ear. He swats at you, smacking your arm where you're hanging on his shoulders. You know he prefers not having you draw attention, but it's a small team. It's not like they don't know about the devil literally on his shoulder by now.

"Right," Soap says, like he doesn't quite believe him, "That why your shadow's all-" He motions with his hand. Ghost glances over his shoulder, then at the ground, checking what Soap means. You wave a hand, your shadow following the motion. Ghost groans.

"Alright off of me, go on." He shrugs his shoulders and you drop back into his shadow with a pout.

“What’s your question?” You pull yourself up from the darkness, sitting on the edge and trying to give Ghost the same cold shoulder.

“How do I get one o’ ya’?” Soap asks. That’s an easy one, even if it is outside of your jurisdiction.

“You don’t,” Ghost cuts in before you can say anything. You turn quickly to face him and he’s not even looking at you, “Die, dismissed.” You open your mouth to say something and he jerks his head to glare at you. Soap looks between the two of you as you finally pull yourself fully from his shadow. Fine. You’ll find something more fun to do than sit around waiting to get a crumb of conversation. You can ignore Ghost just as well as he ignores you.

Except that you can’t. The problem with being bound to someone’s soul is you sort of can’t turn off your connection to them. You’re never off of alert, never not keyed in to Ghost’s heart rate, to his adrenaline, to the sound of his voice. Always prepared to respond to any stimulus or order. It feels unnatural even being just outside the room.

You settle leaning against the wall by the door. Your anxiety and instincts clash, your fingers twisting the fabric of your skirt unsure what to do besides wait to be called on. You don’t know how humans function without each other.

“You don’t want a demon Johnny.” Ghost’s voice filters through everything, “You’re a good man, don’t be so quick to try and give that up.”

There’s a short lived silence as Soap responds.

“I’m not, and that- She’s a bloody testament to it. I can’t even touch her without-” He cuts himself off, unwilling to say it and give the feeling name. But you can feel it, his spike of anxiety, the anger and bitter sadness that rolls through your charge. Then disgust, and suddenly you know why he’s been avoiding you before Ghost can even say it. You represent everything he’s been made into, all the violence brought against him, being forced to laugh at death, to live with death, to claw his way out of a grave to something almost resembling a life. Yet here you are holding the last nail in the coffin of his humanity.

“What else am I supposed to think? You want to know how you get a demon?” Simon takes a shaky breath, you cover your ears even though you know it won’t do any good, “You become such a monster that Hell sends someone to keep an eye on you. So, don’t tell me you want one of those things.”

There’s a commotion from behind the doors, footsteps storming your way. You fix your face, quell your emotions, before the door opens and Ghost comes out. Soap’s still talking, hot on his tail, looking upset.

“-say that Ghost. You think Gaz and Price-” He spots you and stops. You know what he was going to ask, you think it’s nice that he’s so kind. Kind enough to try and spare your feelings. Feelings you don’t have. You’re graded for combat. You’re just another weapon in a vast arsenal. Cold, unfeeling, inhuman. You’re supposed to be, anyway.

#this is just my read of the character but I don't think Simon is a particularly violent guy #or like he is but only in regards to his work #and I think it sort of triggered him a little that he got so violent with Die when they fucked #the problem here is that Die is a lot more human than either of them give her credit for #like Ghost said she isn't a proper demon #Simon needs someone that he can be soft with #simon ghost riley #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #x reader #cod x reader #ghost mw2 #ghost x oc #simon riley x oc #oc: die #demon!darlings au #hurt no comfort #It was really nice of Ghost to try and spare Die from hearing him say all that #really says a lot about him

[highladyjane]

The assault at Sangravah happened in early ACOMAF (before Elain's existence even came into picture for Azriel - 3 days before he even got to meet Feyre)... So I don't get how G and Az are supposed to be mates when he's had all that time to feel something?

There's the parallel of Rhys' father feeling his mating bond snap into place the moment he met his mother being assaulted.

"One look at her, and he knew what she was..." (ACOMAF, ch. 16)

Or Rhys himself feeling the bond when Feyre was being tortured by Amarantha...

"And I knew as I picked up that knife to kill her... I knew right then what you were. I knew right then that you were my mate." (ACOMAF, ch. 54)

Or Cassian simply meeting Nesta. "Say what I've guessed from the moment we met" he breathed. What I knew from the first time I kissed you. What became unbreakable between us on Solstice night." (ACOSF, ch. 62)

Bonus from Nesta: “‘From the moment I met you, I wanted you more than reason. From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about. And it terrified me. No one had ever held such power over me."

Or even Lucien after Elain was Made and maybe even while being thrown into the Cauldron... I don't even need a quote for them, but even Lucien knew and has tried seeking Elain out after the incident.

It's stated in the books and shown again and again that it's the males who are deeply affected by the mating bond. That they can know from the moment they meet. They all in one way or another sought after the females. Even Nesta and Feyre felt something before they knew or opened themselves up to it. And since they all met - They. Couldn't. Stay. Away.

But there's like... no hint of it from Az after stumbling upon G? Like he just literally stumbles upon her - never actually even actively seeking her out through all those years? He hasn't even actively tried to stay away? He's just... *crickets*

It's been Gwyn making noises and attracting his attention through all their scenes together. It was Gwyn asking for dagger lessons. It was 'Gwyn' making Az the new ribbon (whatever that means). And it's Az's shadows reacting to Gwyn, not Az himself. But there's no real hint that Gwyn feels anything romantic for him. There's barely any interactions between them without linking it to her assault in Sangravah and her growth from it.

Besides Az's shadows reacting to G, and that ribbon moment that everyone deems so pivotal when Az realises what it means for the Valkyries (that he's had a hand in training) and maybe even reflects upon Gwyn's character development and therefore what the ribbon means for Gwyn - which made me feel proud too, and that's how I interpreted it - but I can't see an undeniable sign of it being a mating bond anywhere.

I thought at first that mayhaps he was giving her space because of the assault, but then the BC came and he went "It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running," and then "He wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend,". (ACOSF, Azriel's Bonus Chapter)

Let's not even mention the part where Gwyn was actually in danger (no matter how capable she was at that point), while Cassian was going ballistic at Nesta being in danger, but Az is all like "Let's go save Eris". Eris who both he and Cassian hates. Eris who Az himself nearly killed during the HLs' pre-war meeting (before he exhibited actual mate behaviour and sought and risked his life to save Elain who's not even his mate). But no, he gave just as much or even less action and reaction about Gwyn as Tamlin gave when Feyre was UTM.

And I was like...

How are they mates? Where's the mate behaviour every male - mated or not - in Prythian has exhibited throughout the books? Why did I keep seeing things about them being mates and endgame?

The only hint between them that I could even begin to consider it from is the second to last sentence in Az's BC.

"But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly."

But I basically have the same interpretation about that as this post from @merymoonbeam. (Although I'm still neutral about the lightsinger theory, it's the most interesting take.)

Because again.

Why hasn't Azriel felt/shown anything or actively sought her out or even actively stayed away if he's known Gwyn since Sangravah?

If they're mates, shouldn't he have felt and shown something - like that glow - and Gwyn be the one to snap him out of his 'love' for Mor before he even had the chance to meet Elain? If he's just lonely and jealous of his brothers having mates then... Why has he barely noticed or sought out Gwyn who's supposed to be his mate?

What, he had to wait until his shadows reacted to her to even think about her?

I'm not an expert at analysing things - I wouldn't even say I'm good at interpreting things especially when I've got my rose-tinted glasses on, so/but I'm always open to being wrong and changing my mind accordingly.

But/so convince me with actual canon and not just your biased opinions, delusions, self-insertions, or ships.

#this is me questioning people's reading comprehension as well as my own #and me wanting to respect it even if i don't agree with it #this was also me anticipating the hint of them being mates while reading ACOSF for the first time 'cause their shippers were everywhere #but like... it never came? #did i miss something #triggered by the hate their shippers are spreading when there's nothing to truly back it up with #it's too bloody late for SJM to backpedal #don't you dare waste 4 books worth of really good foreshadowing and emotional investment #you can't just throw gwyn in there after all that #they all deserve better than that #mate behaviour #azriel acotar #pro elriel #azriel shadowsinger

[a-998h]

Hi, can I drop a request?

Can you do Reader with personality disorder due to past trauma? They are usually Sun, a cheerful, bright person with a caring and empathic nature. But under extreme stress, anger or sadness, Moon will take over with their cunning, cold and apathic personality. They value no connection except a fierce loyalty and protectiveness to Sun. Moon can be kind and gentle for whom Sun loves, though. Sun and Moon communicates by secret messages hidden in songs and tunes they made.

Hope this is not too much. I really enjoy your works!

🌙 anon if not taken. Or I can be ❄️ anon instead. If both are taken, it's ok.

Of course you can be 🌙 anon, now you can be my second anon.

(This contains mention of trauma and multiple personality disorder as a trauma response, read at your own risk)

They only knew Moon. They were worried about you when you arrived in Teyvat, your silent, apathetic, and cold to them all.

Some characters like Diluc, Alhaitham, Albedo, and those who are also a bit cold themselves don't look into it... at first.

The notice something is off when you're with Itto. You didn't really respond to his energy most of the time. One day while you and the gang are in the streets of Inazuma, and a small fight breaks out. Shinobu notices how you tense up, you look like you're about to run or punch someone. When one of the fighting guys gets a little to close to you... Shinobu noticed how you humming something.

The second sigh to notice was when you were with Kaeya, he had placed a hand on your shoulder and you froze. Not in the "I'm paying attention" way but in the "if I don't move then no one can see me" way. It makes him worried. When he removes his hand from your shoulder and goes to ask you, you're gone.

Everyone starts getting more worried about you. They want to help you. They only learn what's going on, after Sun shows up.

Sun is a strange presence to them. They've only seen Moon and never Sun. But they love Sun, and Sun loves them back. When you were in the library with Lisa, alone, she heard humming coming from you. She thought Sun was humming while reading and didn't think too hard about it...

No one knew why you switched between Sun and Moon or why they seemed to humming random things but it didn't bother them.

They learn what happened to you from Sun. Sun was talking with Eula and said, "you're nicer then her." This causes Eula to freeze. She keeps asking questions and Sun gives vague answers. But Eula and other put together what they know, and Kaeya and Shinobu bring up what they saw with Moon.

The pieces come together, and give them a horrific picture. Trauma, something so bad happened to you that you had to create the personality of Moon to protect your Sun. They're all horrified and made it the personal mission to make you feel better.

As they make you more comfortable, they realize the Moon is warmer than they originally thought.

Now, Sun and Moon, who hurt you? Don't worry, they aren't gonna hurt you. Let them know who hurt you so they can make your life easier from now on.

#genshin fanfic #sagau #creator!reader #genshin x reader #sagau lore #cult au #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #🌙 Anon #tw trauma #Tw multiple personality #if you don't read trigger warnings i'm not liabel

[notbecauseofvictories]

as a coda to yesterday's "I can only watch serious Films now" post, I do want everyone to know that I've been re-reading the same 5-7 terrible romance novels on the back end. I'm clearly going through something, it's probably fine, but I won't know for another few months or quite possibly ever.

#still don't know what triggered reading 300+ books in 2021. #my brain just makes decisions #and drags me behind it like a small woman holding the other end of a large mastiff's leash #celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

[kaelidascope]

Saw this tag and wanted to assure possible readers that I am super super careful about pre-warnings! I have this note tacked on explaining how I manage overly sensitive content at the start of the fic;

Most of the tags come from off-screen mentions, implications, or said in passing by the characters. Any and all actual depictions of the graphic tags are skippable and isolated in their own chapters. I'd say this one focuses more on artistic depictions and symbolic imagery versus actual dead dove - do not eat. Sometimes one is harder to stomach than the other, but rest assured it's not terrible <3 But it's totally fine if themes like that in general are not up your alley! If you want to give it a try tho, I go overboard with pre-warnings of every chapter

some examples of what they look like;

#midnightbeesfic #rwby #bumbleby #Whatever you guys decide to choose is perfectly fine <3 #my tags don't really do my work justice it only highlights possible triggers #I don't glorify these kinds of themes #I just wanna make sure people are entirely aware they're present/mentioned #sometimes it's the mental aspect that fucks people up more than just reading straight up dark shit #Blake's Ballad didn't resonate with some but it definitely resonated with others #It's no different than popular TV shows like Peaky Blinders or Sons of Anarchy. These same themes appear in those shows too

[pascva]

i've seen this sentiment expressed more than a few times where fans get pissed taxian jun survives bc "chu wanning doesn't deserve that" and it always floors me like chu wanning wasn't busting ass for 2 lifetimes trying to save mo ran's sorry soul!!!! like his last words in the 1st timeline weren't begging taxian jun to forgive himself. like i can't imagine missing the point so completely as to walk out of that epilogue earnestly believing that the survival of mo ran's fractured but entire soul is somehow a TRAGEDY!?

#2ha #ranwan #IMO #this is the problem w fans skipping all the sex scenes bc they're triggering #reasonable boundary but like literally just don't read the book then #get out of here im sick of reading your halfbaked takes

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.

Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.

The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."

She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.

With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.

Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.

She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!

Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?

She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.

Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.

Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.

Or her lover will.

I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.

#dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #dao tabris #warden tabris #i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious #the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike #i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too #playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development #and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual #and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again #i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc #oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop #even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren* #but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws #and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance #while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris #in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe #and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough #to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D: #and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible* #i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time #excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay #also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden #so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case #i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read

[suncaptor]

nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.

#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane #'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH #factually extremely wrong! #they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you. #they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue. #I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all #but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection #to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related #it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best #likeeeeeeeee #doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers #i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make #sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right #and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves #i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology #but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies. #you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION #just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should #there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid #god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences. #to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea #that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill :////// #delete

[grosslyoversimplifiedpolitics]

[ID: Don't read if you are prone to being triggered by terrifying internal existential monologue]

#ao3 #ao3 tags #Don't read if you are prone to being triggered by terrifying internal existential monologue

[unpretty]

i'm not cut out to read contemporary literary fiction

it just makes me want to read nonfiction instead :(

#original #i'm trying tho #i'm not succeeding but i'm making an effort #it triggers similar emotions to a stranger telling me about their day in way too much detail #i am reading but somewhere inside me i am thinking. why are you telling me this. i don't know you. #i get that your mom sucks but i could be reading a book about the concept of groceries right now is the thing #when are we going to get to the fireworks factory

[never-surrender]

@hebled || gets an Aurelia

Her life had never been simple, never even been normal. Growing up, she thought it had been normal for herself to be passed around, thought it normal for her Father to be at the center of everything bad that had happened to her. Surely this was what families were like, right? Everybody dealt with this sort of thing...

She couldn't have possibly known at the young age she had been when it all started. When she got older, however... that's when she started to defy him...

And that's when her life got substantially worse.

For years she had been abused by the sex trafficking piece of shit she called her father, caged like an animal along with many others... but her Father took great pride in targeting her specifically, keeping her where the others were freed from their prisons to go to a new fresher hell.

She could have never known that a sting operation had been ordered on him. All she knew were the loud noises overhead terrified her in a way she hadn't been scared before. And when the door opened to the basement? She did her best to hide away... and the sight that would come before the man that descended the stairs was likely a show of just how proper this sting had been.

Shackled to the wall half naked, the dirt caked to her skin and hair, the half shirt she wore showing the malnourishment she was enduring thanks to the ribs sticking out... but beyond that was the dried blood. The wounds on her body were relatively fresh, long angry marks from a whip striking against bare flesh striping across her skin...

Cowering against the wall, Aurelia shook like a leaf as she whimpered, feet scrambling against the dirty floor as if she were trying to press herself through the wall itself. "Please... please don't hurt me.."

#its under a read more for heavy triggers people #don't read it mkay? #sex trafficking tw #ABuse tw #hebled

[a-998h]

When You're Gone

@sunnysolaria requested this idea.

Tw: reader death, illness, and angst

*I'm not responsible if you ignore the trigger warnings*

(Included characters: Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Nahida, Itto, Wander, Diluc, Cyno, Xiao, Neuvillette, and Xianyun)

They thought gods couldn't get sick. You had come down with an illness. At first they thought you would pass it and get back to normal, but you seemed to get worse. All the best healers from every nation tried to help you, but it didn't work. You sepnt the last week, in pain and coughing. It hurt them, and they were hurt even more when you started to cough up blood. No one wanted you to die, yet they couldn't do anything to make you feel better. Eventually, you had succumb to your illness.

Venti

His tears are hidden

On the outside, he's the same old Venti but on the inside he is crying

A constant visitor to the shrine in Mondstadt, always with a bouquet of Calla Lillies and Snapdragons

Keeps a piece of your jewelry with him

His drinking becomes a lot worseIt's not fun for him anymore, it's a way to make the pain of your death go away

He's lost so many friends, and now he's lost you, his creator

Writes songs dedicated to you, to handle his emotions in a better way than drinking

Whenever he over drinks, he hears your voice scold him

Looks for anyone or anything that could be your second reincarnation

Your festival is celebrated with more energy, only to help the people deal with the lose of you

Your shrines become more decorated in order to make your soul feel at home

Candles are lit in order to guide you home to Mondstadt

on windy days he swears your voce can be heard on the wind

Zhongli

Silence

He avoids you grave

Not because he doesn't care, but he just can't handle it

He lost his wife, and many of his other friends during the archon war

Your young age made him think you would have a little more time

But he feels upset for being wrong

Is one of the main people in charge of the preparations for your funeral

Once your funeral ends, he visits the Liyue shrine with flowers and your favorite food

He cries, you were his grandchild and now you're gone

He shuts himself away in order to process his emotions

Once his emotions are handled, he tries to help others mourn in a healthy way

Walks through Liyue Harbor to reminisce on the memories he shared with you

He swears he can hear your voice whenever he walks past your favorite places

The day you died, people relase lanterns to guide your soul to Celestia

Ei

She cries

She lost her friends and sister, now you

Beats herself up over not making a puppet for your soul like she did for herself

If she wasn't leaving the Plane of Euthymia then, she wasn't leaving now

Stills creates a doll version of you, to have some part of you with her

Leaves sakura blossoms in the local shrine

She starts to reconsider her stop in the pursuit of eternity

She now tries to have a better connection with those close to her

Your death taught her something

Walks around Inazuma to your favorite spots

Sometimes, she swears your voice is heard by the puppet and herself in the Plane of Euthymia

Dolls of you become popular

She holds the doll of you close to her heart

Fireworks are lit to light your souls way home

She can still hear you aspirations and dreams and she wants to make them come true

Nahida

Remember how she cried when erasing everyones memories of Rukkhadevata?

Yeah, she's crying

You were a dear friend to her

She would visit you in your dreams to make you feel better

Plans a funeral in Sumeru for you

Vists your shrine every chance she gets

Talks to your resting place like you're still alive

She holds her other friends closer now

Pushes for more studying of medicine, so no one else suffers like she is

Cherishes the time she spend with you in your dreams

The hoildays about you are celebrated with an air of grief

Incense and flowers are placed on a path to lead your soul to Sumeru

Her walks through Sumeru causes her to get teary eyed

During the Sabzeruz festival she swears she sees brief flashes of your presence at the different stalls and games

Furina

Tears

Locks herself in her room to mourn

You were a best friend to her, and now your gone

Makes laws saying that no one can name an animal or other person after you

Makes your birthday a nation wide holiday in Fontaine

A botanical garden in the Court of Fontaine is created to honor your love of flowers

The funeral takes 6 days and every citizen is in mourning

She makes your favorite sweets and shares them with Neuvillette to make both of them feel better

She and Neuvillette grieve together and get closer to each other more then they already are

During walks with Neuvillette in new garden, she swears your laugh will grace her ears

Itto

In tears

He was so close to you

In you last days , he spent time with you as much as possible

The gang is worried about him

He stops his beetle fighting and the games he loved to play with you

Once he makes it half way through the stages of grief he holds onto the card he gave you

The denial stage hits him hard, and then the anger stage hits him harder

He is an emotional mess

Shinobu tries to help him through his emotions

Gets closer to the friends he has so he can feel better

Once he gets his emotions in order, he becomes even more passionate about the games you both would play together

Sometimes during intense games, he swears he hears you chering loudly for him

Wanderer

While he doesn't show outside emotions, on the inside he is a wreck

Hates everyone and everything

The anger stage of grief hits him hard

He now spends most of his time with Nahida

Holds onto any gifts you've given him over the years

He would have shut done if it weren't for Nahida

He visits every shrine of yours he can find

Leaves small offerings

Buys things he know you would have liked

Tries to hide the fact that he is in mourning

When he travels down roads alone, he can sometimes hear your jokes and he can't hep but sigh

Diluc

His emotions are... fucked up

He has already lost his father and now he's lost someone he saw as a little sibling

It was his job to protect you, and he failed

Knows he couldn't protect you from illness, but he could have made you suffer less

Would visit you wentever he could when he wasn't working

Wold give you gifts to make you feel a bit better

Would use that money of his to find the best doctors for you

Visits your shrine during his off hours

Honors you by being a better Darkknight Hero for Mondstadt

Might try and talk to Kaeya in good faith if only to say he tried for you

Sometimes, he hears you tell him to take a break and if he doesn't he'll work himself into an early grave

Cyno

Also silent

He also saw you as a little sibling

It shakes him a bit

He's supposed to be strong, and yet he wasn't strong enough to get you help

Upset at the doctors that they couldn't find a cure for you

Gets even more blood thristy

Your death breaks his heart

Everyone notices he's upset, especially Tighnari

Visits your shrine and promises to protect the others in honor

On his walks through the desert, especially at night, he hears your laughter behind him and it's bittersweet to him

Xiao

Leaves the room

He's seen his friends die and now he lost his sibling

He and Zhongli cry together over your death

He shuts himself off from everyone even more than he already does

Would light a lantern for your soul

Visits your favorite places with Zhongli

Holds your favorite plushie close

Cuddles the plushie close at night

Visits the shrine every evening with flowers

He is a bit mad a Baizhu for not helping you get better

Gets closer to Verr Goblet and Yanxiao

Goes to your burial site with Almond Tofu to feel like he's eating with you again

When he's on the balcony of Wangshu Inn, he feels you hear his arm, and your voice telling him to smile and take care of his friends

Neuvillette

Fontaine is getting weeks of rain

You were one of his grandbabies

He saw you as full of life like Furina, and now you're dead

He tries to drown himself in work to avoid coping

Enjoy's Furina's plan for a garden to honor you

Once Furina makes him cope in a healthy manner, he walks through the garden

Often sits to enjoy the silence some days

Like to reminisce over the time you two spent together

Makes laws about you and legacy

Makes sure the garden is properly upkept

No longer tries to drown himself in work, on purpose

Sometimes hears your voice and feels your presence on the bench he likes to sit at in the garden

Cries only with Furina in private

Xianyun

Shocked

By now she saw you as one of her children

She thought you were an immortal and your death ruins that

Upset that you were unable to be healed by doctors

Makes toys you would have loved

Ganyu has to keep her wraith in check

Takes walks around the mountains to clear her head

Once stable, she cries

Visits your grave to leave the flowers you love

Keeps some of your old jewlery

Keeps your old jewelry in a special box in her abode

Helps Ganyu and Shenhu mourn in health ways, and vice versa

Honors you in her work

Sometimes hears you voice on the winds at night

#genshin fanfic #cult au #sagau #creator!reader #sagau lore #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #angst #genshin angst #tw death #If you ignore trigger warnings I'm not responsible #tw: illness #remember trigger warnings are a courtesy #if you don't read trigger warnings i'm not liabel