Tumgik
#dont want people getting the wrong idea thats why i put the last comment there uhm. yeah
1tsjusty0u · 3 months
Note
can i present you with a random scenario. what would happen in an au hypothetical where only one of the champions survives the calamity. idk like what would happen for each champion im curious
ywah you can!!
ok this depends on if you mean like. taking links surviving role or surviving alongside link. in my au the former would be.. a bit more complicated? actually that could make for a really fucked up scenario of which i shant say as . probably spoilers? actually no . in wotb link actually dies early (a recent development meta-textually). so basically if hes already in there and a champion has to be put in their instead theres two routes. one he could never be put in there at all, already gone by the time they find the SoR. or two he Is in there but something just Fails Really Badly. it just.. wouldnt heal him. so its a last ditch effort to put a champion in there.
long text below Be Warned.
so while we’re on the topic of that scenario!!! lets start with it!! 1 mipha. she would send out an ok signal to the other champions, and she’d either check on her people first or try to get vah ruta to the nearest champion to help them. or hell she might check on zelda first. i think the plan without link would be to either say fuck it we ball and impa would take zelda to the castle, Or just go straight to kakariko instead as a safety thing. i think she’d actually check on zelda as she’s seen as the most important, then try to reach the champions. i think she’d have the same problems the champions descendants have getting into the divine beasts honestly, though vah naboris would be easy theres no water close enough. vah medoh is not only too high but has an actual shield. vah rudania walks around too much and causes way too much damage to death mountain. she could fire her shot at one of the divine beasts, but that would kill the champion inside it, wouldnt it? so she just resigns to help zelda and impa. she can take care of guardians well enough honestly. her cause of death would probably be either malice or trying to heal zelda or impa While Being Fought at. shes put in and boom 100 years later. i dont know how scales work but i think they wouldnt regrow in the SoR and she’d be left with scarred skin. either rhoam or a zora she knew would greet her on the great plateau. rhoam… wouldnt exactly be happy about. link not being there. mipha being able to defeat her blight is proof to him that shes capable, but also he really has no other options. who else is going to help zelda? mipha had defeated one of his creations.. so she could defeat him. she kind of has to, master sword or not- she’s the only one left. if a zora she knew was there instead i think itd reflect on her personally more? like her healing, her tendency to look after others instead of herself, how she’s dealing with this. the zora wouldnt force her to help zelda, maybe not even telling her. but yeag. still amnesiac, and things go mostly the same as canon besides some.. hiccups. going into zoras domain would have her literally not be able to leave, let alone go to zelda or any of the divine beasts. dorephan and muzu would gush over her because well. they havent seen her in 100 years!! and shes alive!!! she’s been martyred which would be. uncomfortable to her. because she doesnt know who that statue is, even if it looks like her. sure shes calm and nice, but the statues face.. it looks. serene almost. calm. lifeless, dead. vah rutas been protecting the place, and vah ruta would also say hi!! she’d get a memory of herself here which could include her little self or her pre cal self Hiding Things, like vulnerability. itd make her uncomfortable as well!! AND SIDON. sidon would have mixed feelings, but he would absolutely hang out with her in a more.. chill manner. just like. camping and eating. frog hunting. showing her how to ride a waterfall like she taught him. they get to know each other better like. well like siblings. she might do a pre cal and when she suggests leaving while doing a chill hangout she’d do That Smile. the hiding something smile basically, or ‘im the mature sibling’ smile. and sidon would be like ‘youre making that face’ >:( and shed go (sweating) ‘what’. but yeah. sidon would either go with her and travel with her or establish a mail system no matter the cost. They Will Talk damnit. going into other regions is hard when you cant really handle many temperatures that arent in the water. im ppretty sure zoras domain has chillfin trout in it so i think she’d do better in colder weather rather than hot, which sucks because two divine beasts are in hot weather. she’d probably still need at Least a ruby circlet though because hebra is probably too cold, or just sucks because of the snow. death mountain she’d have to put. so much flame resistance elixrs on. she’d also wear a sapphire circlet all the time there even if its not in the flaming zone. she doesnt like the hot springs </3. yunobo and her would-
-get along i think. she’d probably be slightly annoyed at how scared he is but other than that no complaints. he’d be really nice without being a pushover and i think she’d relate/admire that. she’d eat smotherwing butterflies. daruk would be really happy to see her. getting into gerudo town sucks so so soo badly. sand keeps getting under her scales, its Dry, its Hot (during the day), and theres not like. an elixr for her scales. the only real place sand Isnt on her is the lake in the kara kara bazaar. i think she’d put on flame resistant elixir there just so it protects her scales. or she gets some armour to help her with that. otherwise she’s let into gerudo town. vah naboris would be a nightmare for her. she’d have to have like. a hazmat suit for that one. and the yiga!! she wouldnt like them the moment she hears of them, which has to do with link pre cal but saying too much is spoilers. honestly though. i dont think theyd try to kill her, at least not Nearly as much. after all shes Just Some Zora. no sword, no divine intervention. after getting the thunder helm though theyd go after her probably. but yeah she does Not like them and will actually fight them the first chance she gets. this caused problems for the thunder helm stealth mission. urbosa and revali would be impressed to see her but also worried (revali) and defeated/giving up almost (urbosa). she and paya would get along really well and she’d clean with her Instantly. though paya would tell her that she doesnt have to + she should. be doing other things. she’d buy links house which. weird feelings about it so she doesnt really live in it but its just. There. like a memorial. she’d also be annoyed at purah teasing her about having to get parts but she’d mask it. she’d like indexing fish and birds in her compendium, and the sanke carp Fascinates her. she’d like kass’s music and really just sit and listen to him play. she’d also try to tell him what the shrine solution was once she figures it out. though i dont think he’d tell her the calamity legends. impa does however. she’d find lurelin and would So Badly want to go into the sea. however its too much salt. she’d probably fish there honestly, fishing rod and all. also though seafaring is dangerous for her so. no eventide unless a good boat rather than a dodgy raft. she.. tries to make it into korok forest. but she doesnt know how, and if link ever told her how he did it she cant remember. also its Super haunting for her i think she’d minorly see horrors in the mist so. yeah no forest for her. she’d defeat ganon though, and she’d probably live in zoras domain but take zelda with her. OH ALSO HER MEMORIES…. zeldas photos wouldnt help her too much. only 1 has her in it. so she’d get memories based on her surroundings, like how link gets snippets of the champions. seeing her trident would get a memory, the veiled falls shrine would have a memory, goponga village would have a memory, maybe the east post would have one?, and she’d have a zelda memory somewhere in zoras domain (maybe with those history tablets, or in an area with wildlife). and if link has a grave thatd also have a memory. she’d also get a memory of impa because hell yeah. im tempted to make link a spirit that follows her like the other champions honestly. but yeah post cal sidons been set as the ruler so. she can do what she wants. she’d mostly help zelda though.
in the scenario she lives alongside link, she’d tend to him on the great plateau and generally help out purah and robbie. she’d have to be at the domain most of the time though, and she’d be next in line for the crown rather than sidon. she’d grow older and do her best to help with the side effects of the calamity. she HATES yiga even more here than the last scenario. she also hates guardians, but she can take care of even the stalkers now. she’s there to greet link instead of rhoam, and helps him recuperate. she doesnt have a paraglider at first so for him to get down he’d need to climb down. or she couldve made a river system into the great plateau so if he holds his breath he can dive in and out. he still has to do the shrines zelda let mipha know that he has to. she might also travel with him honestly. she’d also spearhead the guardians on the great plateau when she finds out some are active. things would tense between them as time goes on but thats another story. basically old lady who may want to kill.
if revali survived!! uhh first scenario. he would fly all the way to the other champions first, and would check on zelda last. he’d also try to see how the village is doing before he flys to the champions. he cant get to naboris or ruta because he cant see anything, and rudania is at a Really painful angle, and with death mountain erupting.. its a pipe dream to make it there. he dies also to malice, or maybe to a guardian shot. same deal as mipha, either rhoam or a rito he knows greets him. rhoam has the same feelings (+exasperation because of all the champions, it was revali. and he’s a lot more of an old man to him with like changing the deal and teasing him. they would probably fight if not for the fact they dont hate each other). if it was a rito theyd focus more on flying than anything else. actually. he can get off the great plateau. i mean unless he forgot how to glide/one of his wings couldnt work he could. simply get down there. so for plot lets say he forgot how to fly and glide. once he learns how to again he goes to kakariko, and once he learns of rito village hes goes straight there and almost never leaves it. its His Hometown damnit!!! the nostalgia would get to him. though not knowing anyone would be… weird to him. but he’d still love the village. he and medoh would banter but theyd miss each other. he has to get to vah ruta by walking and hes SO mad about it. he would absolutely fight muzu if muzu hated him like he hated link. maybe muzu would doubt his skills and insist no outside help is needed. mipha would be sad probably. not to see him but just to see her family. but i think her and revali would be friends like pre cal and theyd have fun just with now looming dread. the flame resistant stuff would suck to put on, but he isnt going to drink it so he suffers instead. he would probably like yunobo. he’s able to reassure him better and yunobo is like you mentioned more reasonable in general so. yeah!! OH YEAH also he and sidon.. hm. i think sidon would tease him/punk him a lot. be more mean but thatd be why theyd get along in the end. frienemies. vah naboris. would be awful. sand in his feathers the same way mipha had sand in her scales. itd be Doubly hot for him, so he’d have to go at night but rito have terrible night vision so it sucks, and he cant even get into town. he spends a good minute arguing with the guard, not about wanting to be let in but to do Divine Beast things. eventually riju has been summoned and, while exasperated, she believes him. he still has to get the thunder helm, and hes more neutral on the yiga than mipha is. he sees them as a threat but like. he doesnt despise them. if they werent threats itd be fine. i think hes also slightly scared of them. he sneaks through, master kohgas defeated and the yiga are after him, and actually doing naboris hed also need a hazmat suit for. though its a bit better because ARCHERY YEEAAHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥💶💶💶🦅🦅🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹. urbosa would feel the same like she did with mipha, except more exasperated and defeated because Its Revali. daruk would be happy to see him though still. link may or may not be a spirit here? itd be tense at first but i think itd mirror their friendship arc pre cal (of which i need to answer that ask i am sorry) except the roles would be swapped. youll see. anyways yeah. payas meh to him, doesnt like impa a lot but doesnt hate her, would debate purah probably Somehow. he wouldnt buy links house probably. memory locations: his bow and arrow, the flight range, the tabantha village ruins, tanagaar canyon/dinraal, mabe village perhaps, one of zelda same with mipha, links grave, and maybe one of impa. also possibly one at the secret hot springs. post cal he’d constantly help rito village and thats it. Maybe help zelda if she sends a letter but yeah. he’d have to find a hobby though
living along side link. he would also help purah and robbie, though less so. he’d be forced to greet link but in the meantime he’d protect his village and basically become the elder. seeing a young link whiles he old would be… disconcerting. he’d probably feel a mixture of guilt and anger. same deal as mipha though he has a paraglider for him. he wouldnt kill the guardians however and would just find a route for him to avoid them. he’d also be straightforward about what happened to link as opposed to mipha, so their relationship would be less strained as time goes on. he travels with him up to rito village and no more. i think he’d also visit the champion descendants to do his best to help them out.
daruk!! he’d go to the champions straight away. vah ruta is isolated in water which he cant get to (and also has a shield), vah medohs way too high up, and naboris wont stay still, and though hes mighty he can absolutely get crushed by naboris’s legs. god how would he die. yiga misfire maybe???? malice once again?? probably just an accumulation of malice. hed try to instantly leave the plateau (no fall damage like majoras mask goron rock ball form) and while rhoam (if he was there) would try to tease him he’d have to just tell him ‘hey. you Have to do this. Its important. please’ or would straight away tell him the truth. if a goron spirit was there . shrugs. theyd probably focus on strength and building enough to get ganon. goron city, hailed as hero though hes a bit uncomfortable about that and tries to both take it and be mature(?) about it if that makes sense. like hes more comfortable with it than mipha, but it still puts him off a little. vah rudania would hate to see him (rudania missed him so much its unbelievable). vah ruta would be. one Hell of a divine beast to do. he’d have to use a thunder sword instead of arrows, and he’d be A Test to sidons strength as a whole. OH ALSO yunobo would love him !!!!! him bludo and yunobo would probably hang out post cal. anyways. vah naboris he would simply slam into their legs instead of bomb arrows. still would need the thunder helm. master kohga would respect daruk enough however business is business and right now theyre enemies. daruk would not like the yiga like mipha . closer to the hate scale than revali but less than mipha. he’d be pretty pissed at them and wouldnt realize why for a while. the yiga have to get inventive when he becomes wanted which means new weapons methinks!! also he’s let into gerudo town. gorons r genderless so. hell yeah. and. ok so daruk cant get up to vah medoh theres. not many options. either he’s chucked from hebra peak at all of medohs batteries and is finally chucked on board, Or if youve seen klerics 10 ways link can make it up to that divine beast on his own he does that. also also urbosa would have more hope with daruk than mipha and revali. revali would secretly be happy to see the guy. link might be a spirit as usual. memories! his stone smasher, death mountains peak, military training camp, the place where link saved him which he mentions in his diary, the hot springs/springs near the base of death mountain, honestly probably meeting mipha (maybe trading fish) ((where no clue, though he has memories of the other champions like all of them of which they arent the samw memory locations in botw. like miphas statue doesnt trigger a memory for daruk and anyone else ok sorry)), uhh zelda, impa?, links grave, and maybe some place in akkala.
the second scenario he would constantly try to help the descendants rather than link as he figures purah and robbie got it covered, but he visits them while they do great plateau things and they chat!! maybe try to take care of guardians. he would be the most straightforward with link, both in helping him gain strength but in his memories. he’ll offer to travel but wont force it on him. other than that he’d stay on death mountain with rudania. most things wouldnt be a threat with daruk around honestly. just a support beam basically. kind of sad because i. dunno what kind of character arc he would have in most of this. </3
urbosa!!! she’d take a quick glance at her people but go to zeldas and the champions aid. its hard to tell which she’d go for first.. like on one hand she’s biased towards zelda but she just went through a blight and can hear the SOS signals of the others. maybe multitasking? getting naboris to zelda as fast as she can, picking her up/dropping her off (which could lead to some chatting on the way), and then to a divine beast, maybe realizing about a quarter left of the way that theyre already dead and theres no point now. mipha would have a similar revelation probably just.. later. but urbosa dies helping zelda and impa, either distracting something or getting ambushed. great plateau, you know the drill. if rhoam was there theyd have some, “lovely” chats (theyd be So petty against each other. she’d find out her smiting power by trying smite him. though they are friends and have fun and would drink with each other.) and once her whole deal is revealed they have a little heart to heart, and this becomes even more serious to her. she’d go straight to the castle or would reluctantly go to kakariko taking rhoams suggestion seriously. if a gerudo was there it’d probably be more fighting training/regaining strength, plus. warnings of the world beyond this plateau. anyways. impa and her would be besties (though impa would be.. too lax for her). and she’d enjoy paya a lot, maybe try to flex on her to tease her. zoras domain dorephan and her would get along i think AND OH WAIT. SHE HAS LIGHTNING POWERS. if she can get the thunder helm she could finish vah ruta in one strike (though it Does worry the zora a bit). she may throw shade at muzu for his hate of hylians and of the shekiah tech (especially the latter i think). sidon and her would be battle buddies i think, theyd constantly try to outdo each other but still respect each other to have Actual Teamwork. dynamic duo that will kill you. also she makes fun of him sometimes. anyways. mipha would be pretty happy to see her! death mountain. either drinks the elixir first and then realizes most people apply it on their skin so. oops. but she doesnt really care so she keeps drinking it like its champagne. chugging. despite being used to the desert she still doesnt like the heat. yunobo and her would also get along i think!! she would just immediately kill whatever hes afraid of and he looks in. slight fear. though the mines was a workout for her and shes making sure he knows he Owes Her for that one. anyways daruk would be ecstatic to see her theyre Instant Besties. new ghost pal perhaps as well. he’d yell like a sports fan everytime she beats the blight/gets a hit. its chaotic that time the energy is just net positive despite the circumstances. hebra. honestly. she might be ok with it? the desert is cold at night and she lives next to snowy mountains. nice change of pace. teba gets her up there pretty easily, maybe bow troubles? slices the targets with her sword as teba watches in surprise yet defeat. revali and her would, once again, be very petty. however revali would still worry with the blight but she’s fine. i think she’d hate the rotating angle of vah medoh. aaand naboris!!! no freeing to do she just gets to see a long time friend of hers (naboris). she’d love riju and riju may feel a bit of pressure, but over all she’s welcomed back with open arms (maybe some new locals not recognizing her which would be interesting). though she’d have to clear the yiga. now on the hate scale, she probably wants them annihilated (i am so sorry). like riju would have to pull her back saying ‘heyheyhey yeah they suck but dont??? kill them??? or their entire clan????’ which would only barely stop her. she wouldnt even try to sneak through she’d fight them and threaten kohga for the thunder helm. kohga lets her have it without fight and makes a retreat, though he probably lays low? if he hunts her afterwards is debatable because on one hand she Is a threat to them and ganon, but also she Can kill them before they teleport and retreat. so a bit of a choice. also hateno, purah and her wouldnt be-
too much of friends but theyd get along well enough. same with robbie. she wouldnt get links house to her its not her problem. or maybe she does but because she’d think itd be a nice place for zelda. kass and her would just be diplomats to each other. link spirit maybe shrugs . memories!! sword and shield, kara kara bazaar, southern oasis?, shield surfing champion shrine that she did, patricia maybe?, digg dogg suspension bridge, a spring memory with zelda, flora and fauna with zelda, links grave, impa, the champions yadda yadda. the memory numbers probably dont match up between all the champions sorry
second scenario!!! exclusively helps zelda and either stops her from letting ganon eat her or tries her best to fight ganon before retreating and he eats zelda. then she just. wanders. purah probably helping her cope or just. do things. she might even stay in kakariko for a bit, and she moves out of gerudo town. she’d say goodbye to everyone of course. but ywah. also maybe guard kakariko from yiga of which cado would fear her immensely. she’d either greet link or let rhoam do it and just meet link at kakariko and be Cryptic and Vague like he was but push him towards helping zelda, maybe even traveling with him. however she’d probably try to have him stay On Track constantly which would go. poorly. either that or she silently judges him but doesnt say anything. she’d only really hammer in to Go To Castle once all the divine beasts are free. they probably split off though, urbosa going to either chill or help in some way just elsewhere. like helping robbie light his ancient oven and getting guardian tools. also she has more wrinkles now shes super super old
if link isnt revived but the champions arent put in the SoR itd just be a mix of the two scenarios, slowly chipping at the divine beasts while helping out globally and getting old and having to cope with everything afterwards because they still have their memories
this . may not have been what you meant. i am sorry. however. thumbs up
ALSOALSO wanting the yiga dead is not a morally pure/correct course of action for them. it is not morally right thing to annihilate an entire group of people this isnt a bug its a feature. them wanting the yigas dead is not good. just in case.
10 notes · View notes
oreoov · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
☆ ─ 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒, 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 ..?
kazuha x gn!reader / fluffy fluff / modern au <3
synopsis ─ you and kazuha seem to be more than friends, but at the same time, none of you have ever confessed so .. what exactly are you guys ..?
warnings : the word "hell", lots of and lots of teasing, kissing (idk how to put warnings so im just putting anything that sounds bad to some people LMAO)
notes : HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAZUHA!! (im very late but we dont talk about that) btw u guys should read my other kazuha fic because it didn't wanna show on tags and it flopped so bad!!! 🤬🤬
you were confused, puzzled, bewildered. kazuha has hugged you, yes. hold hands? always. cuddled? yes .. kissed ..? maybe once or twice but never on the lips .. but he never confessed or confirmed anything.
or maybe close friends just do that right ..? right .......?????
thats what you were trying to figure out for the past hour in this oh, so boring math class. you were too focused you didn't even notice kazuha staring at your gaze.
"are you okay? you know, its quite strange to me that you've been focusing on class a lot more these past days .." he whispers with a faint chuckle as he continues to look at you with the soft gaze of his.
ah yes, totally focusing in class .. if only he knew what you were thinking about this entire time!
"you should focus too zuha! stop looking at me like that .." you mumbled out quitely, a soft tint of red slowly came to sight on your cheeks.
"mhm .. my bad, its kind of your fault for looking so cute though." he teases you once more before finally turning away from you, proceeding to focus onto class just like what you told him to do.
you blushed even more by the comment .. ahahah .. close friends definitely don't say stuff like that. so why hasn't he said anything about it yet? you wanted to smack kazuha in the face for leaving it so unclear! or maybe you were just blind.
the bell suddenly rang, class was dismissed. both you and kazuha headed out of class, off to the cafeteria. and of course, he interwined his soft hands with yours.
because of this simple action, many rumors about you both possibly dating has suddenly appeared day by day. and yet, even you didn't know the clear answer to that.
the thought of dating him was never a bad idea in your opinion. is he cute, adorable, and handsome? yes. is he loving and caring? yes. is he smart? yes. is he too friendly with others? maybe ... but is he boyfriend material? yes, YES, YEYSYEYSS. (mb for simping)
do you like him? yes ....
"do you want anything? i'll pay for you!" kazuha interrupted your thoughts once again as he asked you with his signature soft, gentle smile that was only reserved for you.
"uhh .. not really hungry right now, thanks for asking though!" you returned a smile to him before looking away into your surroundings again.
"wrong answer, love. ill get you your fav okay? go find a seat while i get your food." oh, what a gentleman, but .. he. called. you. "LOVE"?!?
you wanted to jump out of this world!! your face was so red and your heart is bouta explode! you swear that this is gonna be your last straw and you are going to confront him right now!!!
"u- uh .. oh uhm yeah, ill go sit over there alright? uhh ..." ahahha .. yes, totally confront him ...
you turned back, face was still red as hell as you approached the empty table you're going to sit at. you took a seat and covered your face with your hands.
you need to ask him about all this sooner or later. you couldn't bare another day like this, but what if he actually doesn't like you? and he was just doing those gestures as friends ..?
your mind kept running back and forth from the only two possibilities that there could be ; "hes only doing that as friends ..." or "he literally wants me so bad."
you sighed as you watch him approach you with your food. you thanked him for the food and started to dig in, but he wasn't eating ...
"aren't you going to eat anything ..." i looked at him with a confused and worried look. what a hypocrite smh ...
"im not hungry right now, dont worry!" he responds with his soft smile again which always manages to makes your heart melt.
"y- you ... ughh ... here, lets just share .. you damn hypocrite." you scoffed as you pushed your plate closer to the center of the table.
he chuckles at you, but he accepts the food either ways to avoid you worrying for him. he only a ate a little though .. since he knows you hate sharing your favorite food!
you both ate over with a conversation, talking with him was always so easy. somehow, there was never a time where there wasn't a topic to talk about .. another reason to date him .....
"ah- wait ... i gotta get my book at my locker after this. you wanna come?" kazuha asked as he took his last bite, and so did you.
"ohhh .. sure, actually im gonna get my book too!"
"alright then, let's go" he reached his hand out for you again as he stood up. that simple gesture was enough to make you blush again.
he brought you along the hallways, which was quite empty, as everyone was mostly at the cafeteria. maybe .. maybe this is a proper chance to ask him ..?
your hands started to get sweaty as you got more nervous just because of one simple question. and of course kazuha notices ... because thats just how he is!
"are you alright? you seem quite nervous .." he stopped walking to check up on you.
your heart instantly dropped as he asked if you were okay. this is the chance to confront him, and to get this all over with!! just 1 simple question ... you can do it!!!
"i- uhm .."
"yes? you what ?"
"kazuhawhatexactlyarewebecauseyoukeepconfusingmewithyouractionsbutyouneverconfessedanythingsoidkwhatsgoingon"
"uhh, sorry but .. could you perhaps .. speak slower?"
you sighed as you had to repeat everything you said to him again!! your heart was beating faster and faster by every second, it was about to explode ...
"w- what i asked was .. what exactly are we ..? you keep confusing me with your actions since you know .. im pretty sure friends dont act like this, right?" you looked down as you were in a blushing mess. he was even still holding your hand oh so gently.
he chuckles softly, he didn't even blink. it was as if he was already expecting this question. and he was waiting for you to ask! "well, what do you think we are silly?" he chuckles again.
"i- i dont know!! thats why im asking you!! you're the one thats silly ..." you scoffed at him as you let go of his hand.
he couldn't contain his laugh as he took both of your hands again. "then ill ask a different question, what do you want us to be ..?"
uh oh ... things were not supposed to go this way and he was definitely not supposed to ask you this question!!! "u- uhm .. i- i guess more than .. friend's ..?"
"oh, come on dear, im not accepting that as an answer. you should be more specific to avoid anymore confusion! tell me, do you want us to be friends, or lovers?" he smirked, he was enjoying teasing you a little too much ...
"y- you ..!! i- i want us to be .. lovers. alright? i said it so stop teasing me now, this is so embarrassing!!" you were surely gonna die from embarrassment, and it was all because of kazuha ...
he chuckles at you, he couldn't help it. "alright, alright ill stop, im sorryyy, i couldn't help it! you were too adorable for your own good ..."
he continues "but, im also sorry for leaving it unclear, my dear." he pats your head softly as he embraces you softly.
"s- so .. were like, dating .. i guess? uhm .." surely it felt awkward for you, but you were also relieved! atleast now you know that he feels the same.
he laughs in amusement because of your constant confusion "yes, yes we are my love. you know what? how about i give you a proper kiss incase you're still confused? do i have your permission to do that ..?"
"f- fine .."
(insert kissing scene cuz idk how to write one LMAO)
137 notes · View notes
simpforsexyassmf · 3 years
Text
he defends you in front of paparazzi /Vinnie Hacker x reader
Tumblr media
TRIGGERS : NONE
   send some requests running out of ideas
“hey y/n, could we ask you some questions please” i put my hand over my face and whispered to vinnie that i was uncomfortable “No sorry” i said shyly and uncomfortably “Y/n what are your opinon on Nessa and Jaden, being a close friend with josh, mads and everything” i try to ignore him “Y/n do you think that theres a feature with you and music” i walk faster trying too loose them while holding vinnie’s hand slighty “Y/n the fans wanna know, Are you guys datinf or are you offical”  “I really don’t feel like talking” i say almost whispering but just loud enough for him and the camera to hear me “y/n the fans wan-” Vinnie turns around I let his hand go, while i carry one walking with tears running down my eyes “Dude can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable, like leave her alone she said she doesn’t wanna talk. Respect that, honestly bro not cool” he runs after me, i get in the car and start crying. I really didn’t wanna be filmed. Vinnie got in the car and held me while i cried against his chest.
NEXT MORNING
I wake up to my notifications going off none stop, I slide up against my bed frame and look at what was going one 
*PIC OF YOU WALKING OFF*
#Y/NL/n walked off after not wanting to talk to paparazzi while leaving #ThePalm with #VinnieHacker
comments :
@xnotxfeelingss : feel really sorry for her, she sounded generally really uncomfortable
@alexvegas : The way Vinnie stood up for her😫🥵😍
@vinniexy/n : THE WAY VINNIE GET PROTECTIVE OF Y/N OML THIS IS LOVE
@brycehall : dude thats wrong, leave her alone if she doesn’t wanna talk
@vinniehackerrr : and yet you still posted this
@joshrichardsss : Leave her alone dude, she’s clearly uncomfortable 
@Addisonrae : this is wrong on so many other levels... you shouldn’t do this
@charlidamelio : Please delete this fletcher
@rarefeelingss.com : y/n is the purest person ever, her voice is the cutest. Why would you do something like this, She’s uncomfortable. RESPECT WHEN PEOPLE DONT WANNA TALK.
@neverme.com : You don’t know how this could effect her, pls delete
@THETIKTOKROOM
*PIC OF YOU WALKING OFF *
#TheHollywoodFix has gone too far after this
comments :
@madimonroe : you stepped over the line on this one 
@y/nismybae : this is just wrong...delete this
@y/nluvsme.com : this went wayy too far Fletcher
@ourhackerrr : CAN WE JUST HAVE RESPECT FOR THE WAY THE STOOD UP FOR HER. Now he is a real man 
@charxpayton : i feel really bad for her, y’all do know she has an anxiety disorder-
I stop reading as, a message from Vinnie popped up on my screen
Vincent🥵🖐🏻😍😈 : hey, im really sorry about last night. He shouldn’t have done that. I hope you feel better
Me : yeah im better, just yk feeling a bit under the weather. 
Vincent🥵🖐🏻😍😈 : do you want me to come over 💞💞
Me : if thats alr with you
Vincent🥵🖐🏻😍😈 : baby you know its always alr with me
Me : get over here then :))
Vincent🥵🖐🏻😍😈 : on my way rn 
318 notes · View notes
atlabeth · 3 years
Text
transferred part 20 - atla smau
part 19 | masterlist | epilogue
summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.
a/n: me when i have to write more than 5 words in a series thats supposed to be a smau
anywho! basically the last chapter?? which is crazy?? filled with heartfelt emotions and the moment that you've all been waiting for, it's a wild ride. so strap in and enjoy. the epilogue will be posted later today so i can finally wrap this series up!! and dont worry theres a super long sappy authors note on the epilogue. LETS GET INTO IT
wc: 2.3k
warning(s): cursing, mentions of alcohol, hurt/comfort, one suggestive comment, mentions of toxic relationships, reader talking about her self sabotaging behavior and burnout, Bad Coping Methods (dont disappear kids)
-
“You haven’t seen her?” Zuko sighed as the same words he had heard on repeat for the past hour played through his ears again. “It’s alright, thank you. Have a good night.”
He shook his head at his friends, their defeated expressions mirroring his own as he leaned against the kitchen island. He ran an exhausted hand through his hair, and he couldn’t help but think of the countless times you had done it for him.
“Your sister doesn’t play when it comes to theatrics,” Aang lamented as he plopped on the couch next to Sokka.
“Tell me about it,” he muttered. “I mean, she doesn’t pull stuff like this. Sometimes she went over the top when she was younger, staying out a little too late or doing something stupid, but she never just… she never just tried to disappear like this. I.. I guess she was too worried about Katara and me to do anything like that, but still.” He knocked back the rest of the seltzer and tossed the can on the table — alcohol was tempting, but none of them wanted to be any less than completely aware tonight.
“We all knew she was hurting,” Sokka continued. “Not even she could be fine after everything that happened with Hahn, especially the day after, but I— I guess I thought that she would open up before just dropping off the radar completely!
“No news from the girls,” Aang announced, prompting a collective sigh from the other two boys. “I gotta give it to her, she’s been very thorough with this.”
“Of course she has. It’s classic Y/N — she can disappear without a trace, sure, but she can’t put enough effort into picking up some supplies for my project on her way home.” It was a lame attempt to lighten the mood, and though he got a weak chuckle out of Aang, it was radio silence on Zuko’s part.
“Hey, buddy.” It didn’t snap him out of his reverie, and Sokka seriously contemplated throwing his empty soda can at him. “You okay?”
“She didn’t even say anything to me,” he finally murmured, eyes trained on his phone screen. “She said she would tell me if she was having a hard time, but she didn’t say anything to me. Just suffered in silence until it got so bad she just up and left. She just… left. Without a single word to anyone. To me.”
Aang’s eyes softened and he let out a loose exhale. “Zuko, she didn’t mean to hurt you — I know that much. She’s just been under a lot of stress lately, and… I guess it didn’t manifest in the best way.”
“Stress...” he muttered, trying to piece it together. There was something nagging at the back of his skull, something on the tip of his tongue, but he just couldn’t get it. “And you guys are sure she hasn’t put anything anywhere? No texts that you missed, nothing?”
“Believe me,” Sokka said. “I’ve refreshed her pages a thousand times by now. It’s radio silence on her side. God, I wish I was more invasive and put like, a tracking device on her car or something! For all we know, she could be back to Kyoshi.”
Kyoshi. Stress. This whole thing, your disappearing act.
And suddenly, it clicked.
Zuko stood up abruptly, nearly knocking over the stool in the process and warranting puzzled looks from both of his friends as he grabbed his keys off the table and practically ran to the door.
“Zuko, where are you going?” Aang questioned.
He tugged the door open and shot a glance back at them, tension having noticeably dissolved from his shoulders.
“I know where she is.”
-
Zuko tapped idly against the steering wheel, once again glancing down at his phone screen but to no avail. His relationship with you had become infinitely more complicated since the kiss through fault of both of them — he supposed that was what happened when two people who didn’t know how to talk about their emotions caught feelings for each other. Zuko was very skilled at sticking his foot in his mouth whenever he tried to talk about anything like this, and
But you had accepted his offer to talk on the way home, so that meant something.
He had originally suggested just talking on the way home like he had proposed earlier, but you had a different idea. ‘Trust me,’ you had told him. ‘It has a good track record with making people feel better.’
Your proposition was a wildflower field on the outskirts of the city, just out of the way that someone would go en route to the university. Far enough from the city to emanate an aura of peace, but close enough to be a feasible trip.
“I found this place when I was missing home,” you smiled as he parked the car. “I love it here, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just feel homesick for Kyoshi. You passed a field like this on the way into town, and when I stumbled here, it just kinda felt like fate. So now whenever I’m stressed, or overwhelmed, or just need a break, I come out here. And I think this is the perfect place to talk about… well, whatever’s going on with us.”
“Sounds good.” He returned the sentiment then cleared his throat. “As long as we don’t go in there. I can admire it from afar, but just looking at that field is making my skin itch.”
You laughed and nodded amiably. “Deal.”
-
One hand was splayed against your chest, the other trailing lazy circles with the pads of your fingers against the metal as you gazed up at the sky. You had the best and only seat of the view, the flora drifting softly in the night breeze as the stars twinkled from above.
You didn’t know what you were thinking, being here. The past couple of weeks had just been… crushing you. It was like your heart was stuck in a vice and no matter what you did, it just got tighter and tighter.
You had been treating everyone you knew horribly, but you couldn’t stop. It felt like a game — how terribly could you act towards them until they snapped too? Until your friends, your siblings, Zuko, recognized that they had made a mistake by trying to help you?
And you didn’t know what it was about today, but… something inside of you just broke after that morning with your roommates. So you did what you were best at, and you ran. Skipped class, skipped work, just drove around aimlessly until even that was starting to feel like too much of a trap.
And then you ended up here.
It would’ve been laughable if you weren’t on the verge of breaking down.
You had been here, just laying on the hood of your car parked a few feet away from the field on an off road path, for the better part of an hour. If you were going to drown underneath the weight of your thoughts, it was better to do it alone.
But as you heard the crunching of gravel underneath car tires, your eyes instinctively shot towards the noise — so much for being alone — and you sat up. Your brows furrowed in recognition, you knew that car, and it felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest when Zuko stepped out.
“You remembered,” you breathed after a moment of silence. “You’re here.”
“Always.” He said it so obviously, so easily — why wouldn’t he remember? Why wouldn’t he be here?
You scooted over to make space on the hood and patted the space next to you softly, pulling your knees up to your chest in a moment of shame as he walked around to the front and pushed himself up next to you. What were you going to say to him? What could you say?
“I’m sorry,” you said out of the blue, your words pouring out of you like an emotional waterfall. “I’m sorry for just— for just leaving, I know it was stupid and I know they’re all probably worried out of their minds, but I couldn’t do it, Zuko. I-it was like I was trapped, and I know it was irrational, but I had to get out of there—”
“You didn’t have to,” he said quietly, effectively stopping your rant. “If you really had to get out, you could’ve at least said something to one of us. I don’t know what things were like back at Kyoshi, but here— here, you can’t throw yourself back onto the knife every time something goes wrong, because— you just can’t do that anymore.”
“I’m not mad, believe me, I’m relieved that you’re okay. I just..” he sighed and glanced up at the night sky, the light of the moon illuminating his features as he faced you once more. “I know you’ve felt alone before, but you’re not. You have Katara, and Sokka, Suki, Toph— you have me, Y/N! And I’m not going anywhere, trust me, but— but you can’t keep doing this to yourself, because they care about you, and I care about you.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and chose to concentrate on the hood of the car, tapping your fingers against the metal as a way to use up your nervous energy. “You’re… you’re right,” you said after a long moment of silence, the beginnings of a mirthless smile on your lips.
“After that night at the party, I just— I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. There was a part of me that just wanted to lock myself in my room and never come out, but I— I told myself I was better than that, and I refused to let myself fall back onto any of it. So I worked. I took extra shifts, I helped out my professors, I did anything and everything I could to try and keep my mind off of Hahn. But I wasn’t helping anything, I was just… I was destroying myself. It was just like you said. I was a candle burning at both ends but still convinced that I was doing the right thing, and eventually.. I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I ran.”
“And— there’s always been this… this voice in my head that pops up after things in my life are going good, and it tells me that something is going to go wrong. A-and it tells me that if I’m the one that ruins it, then I don’t have to ask myself what I did wrong, if I could’ve stopped it from happening— if it’s inevitable, then I should be the one to ruin it. It’s how most of my relationships ended, and— well, the only thing it’s succeeded in is making me miserable.”
You don’t even notice your hands are shaking until you feel Zuko placing his own over yours — a simple gesture asking an unsaid question, one you answer by intertwining his fingers with your own.
“That same voice popped up again once I started getting close to you,” you admitted quietly. “And this whole time, I’ve been so terrified of falling that I never considered you would catch me. But I’m tired, Zuko. I’m tired of constantly looking over the edge.”
As you turned your head to meet his eyes again, your breath caught in your throat at his close proximity. You were sure that no matter how much time you spent with him, your heart would never stop beating out of your chest for Zuko.
“I will always be there to catch you,” he affirmed softly. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
And just like before, he brought his hand to the side of your face and tenderly brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His hand, slightly calloused but emanating comfort all the same, lingered on your cheek for a moment before he posed the question.
“Can I kiss you?”
You nodded, and his lips captured your own immediately. You reciprocated with an almost desperate fervor and— and it just felt so right. You had grown so accustomed to the constant warmth he carried with him that it had become a part of you, he had become a part of you, and now a life without Zuko was just unimaginable.
He was right — he already was there to catch you, each and every time. Giving you endless rides when your car broke down, sitting through the world’s most boring anthro projects, letting you bare your soul to him, telling you it was all going to be okay when nothing felt okay, and managing to find you when you had gone out of your way to not be found. And all of it— it all made you realize.
You didn’t want to keep running. And you didn’t have to. Not anymore.
Zuko pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours, breathing slightly labored as the two of you sat in comfortable silence. That is, until you broke it.
“So,” you started, a nervous chuckle following. “Are we… are we a thing now?”
You could tell that caught him by surprise by the laugh that escaped him, a sound of unfiltered joy. “I’d say that we are.”
You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks once more as he slid off of the hood of the car and held out his hand, an offering you took happily. “We should get home,” he said, somewhat reluctantly. “It’s past midnight, and—” Zuko glanced at his phone and grimaced. “They’re all still worried out of their minds.”
“Right,” you muttered. “I’m gonna get the lecture of my life from Sokka and Katara.”
“Probably,” he chuckled. “But they’re just doing their job as concerned siblings.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead and glanced back at his own car. “I’ll see you back at the apartment?”
You nodded, an uncontrollable smile pulling at your lips. “Thank you, Zuko. For this, and— for everything.”
He returned the sentiment, golden eyes filled with adoration.
“Always.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
-
if your name is crossed out it means i can’t tag you!
perm taglist: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin
transferred: @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread @thelovelylolly @lin-biefong-is-my-life @tiffanyy-21 @sistheselenophile @theincredibledeadlyviper @bakugouswh0r3 @loganrwebb @mikaslilworld @matsunshine @iris-suoh @aizameow @h3llbun @kozuelle
atla: @marianne1806
193 notes · View notes
wolfinshipclothing · 4 years
Text
Ok, can we talk about Stevens lack of personality and how much i relate to that?
Tumblr media
Because uff.. look at this guy.
Steven has spent a good portion of his life trying to live up to his mother legacy. Then, trying to fix her crimes. But more than anything, he has spent most of the last few years trying to make people happy.
He has been building that for a while, but the earliest example i remember is in “The Test”
Tumblr media
After finding out the “test” the gems have prepared for him was fake, just a tactic to raise his morale, he is upset. And with good reason! But after eavesdropping the gems and how scared and lost they are now that Rose is gone, what does Steven do? He lies. He puts on a cherry face and says how awesome the test was, all just to he can make the gems happy. And i took notice of this because i thought... “hey... dude... thats kind of unhealthy you know?”
Five seasons and a movie later and what you get?
Tumblr media
Disaster. You get a Steven who has built his life around helping others by putting his own feelings aside. He is so into it that he has neglected time with the gems and his human friends. In fact, when he found out that Lars and Sadie had figured out their issues IN PRIVATE, does he get happy? No, he is devastated becase “HOW did i not knew about this?”
Prickle pair is even more in-your-face about Steven’s lack of self.
Tumblr media
He started doing gardening, something that i believed (when i read the episode description a while ago) would be good for him.
It wasn’t. Turns out Steven likes gardening marginally. He doesn’t do it cause he wants to, he does it just for the sake of trying new things AND showing how well he is doing now.
And what happens when the gems left him alone? He comments to himself.
“The gems are not even impressed. Guess gardening isn’t as cool as liberating the galaxy.”
Yeah, thats not healthy. He is basing himself enterely in the opinion of his family. Mind you, is not that the gems dont think its cool, its just that they can tell something is WRONG with Steven...
“This is a much needed YOU time” said pearl.
“This may not be the HEALTHIEST approach to your new hobby” said Garnet.
And they are both right.
To his merit, Steven has grown a bit in the last few episodes.
Tumblr media
“Its probably better that i am not running the school, tho. Who am i to decide whats best for all those gems students?”
So, after everything that happened after “Guidance” and “Little graduation”, it seems Steven has realized he doesn’t have the answer for everything. He has to let people walk their own paths.
Which is a sensical but Horryfing concept for someone who’s entire identity has been built around the others. What do you do when you cant to the thing you focused your life around?
Have a life crisis it seems. 
I know Steven is suffering but i, for myself, am LOVING how they deconstructed the idea that people have around his character.
And whats best is (like i mentioned earlier in this post) is that none of that is new. Steven has been building this for a while. His Empathy, his love, his selflessness... all of those are good qualities, but take them to the extreme, and what do you get?
Tumblr media
“Why do i need to be needed!?” its what you get.
6K notes · View notes
supercantaloupe · 3 years
Text
okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.
i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.
that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.
i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.
what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.
now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.
but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.
but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.
and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.
there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.
and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.
i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.
listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.
155 notes · View notes
fraidy-farfelle · 3 years
Text
This is my attempt at the Fluff ABCs for Frankie the Undead. Please be gentle with criticism because I cry easily. I’ve taken some ideas from @lovestruck-lasagna.
Taglist: @writingfromthetomb @beebubb
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Your dry sense of humor. It perfectly matches his insults and he doesn’t have to go out of his way to make you laugh. He just says what he’s thinking and you laugh and agree.
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Frankie appreciates a good smile, and for many reasons. He learned to read smiles (fake vs real) early on and uses it to gauge people, so he pays particular attention by default. He’s a sucker for cute dimples, and loves the way your nose scrunches and your eyes close.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
He loves late at night when you share the couch and he can read a good book, sip on some whiskey, or puff on a cigar. He really doesn’t care what you’re doing, he can tune out the TV or you prattling on about your day and make comments to show he’s listening. Put your feet in his lap, lay on top of him, make yourselves mummies in blankets, so long as he can reach his glass he doesn’t care. He just wants to be with you.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
Stay in date nights are his favorite. He doesn’t really like to “share” your attention. He likes to either cook a meal together or order takeout and watch a movie. Particularly black and white gangster ones, or older horror films. Likes to tease you if you get scared and grab onto him. He’ll pat your head and say something like “oh there there, don’t be scared! I won’t let the big, bad monster getcha!” (Like your neighbor isn’t a 7 ft tall children murdering clown demon) If you go out, he prefers less crowded places outdoors.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
He’s a spitfire and he knows it. He tends to explode and then after a few minutes apologizes gruffly and explains himself. “WHY WERE YA OUT UNTIL MIDNIGHT, THATS SUCH A STUPID THING TO DO!” “Sorry, Frankie.” “…… ugh just, please get home earlier from now on. It’s dangerous and I worry about you.” Definitely doesn’t hug you close so you don’t see the relief and worry on his face. Nope!
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
He misses Amy desperately. He wants a little girl in his life again, although he’ll never ever admit it. He’s hesitant to make relationships because he doesn’t want to be hurt again. But, if you go out with him to the living world, you’ll catch him staring longingly at parents and daughters when he thinks you’re not looking. If you ask him what he’s looking at, he’ll shake his head and spit out a line about children being obnoxious but you can tell he’s blowing smoke.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
If the underworld wasn’t so dangerous, he’d love to drape you in the finest silks with diamonds and rubies dripping off of you. However he doesn’t want you to draw any unnecessary attention to yourself. So, he settles for things you don’t really see in public. He also doesn’t like to be found out about it. Your gas tank is filled, the bill you were worried about has mysteriously been paid, your favorite ice cream is in your freezer when you know you ate the last of it yesterday, and hey, didn’t you spend this $20? Why is it in your wallet? If you ever bring it up he’ll just shrug and say “How strange!”
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
He’s torn about PDA because he doesn’t want you to become a target because you’re associated with him, and people stare at him enough because of his appearance. But on the other hand, he wants to show the world that someone as worthless as him (don’t say that we love you Frankie) has such an amazing person that loves him. Will absolutely grab you and passionately make out with you with one hand on your ass and the other flipping the bird to the cheeky bastard that told the broad beside him to watch out for the zombie.
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Panic. Sheer panic. He’s so afraid to lose you, any injury is serious and cause for alarm.
Frankie:*bursting into a hospital lobby, screaming to be taken to f/n l/n immediately**running in the opposite direction the nurse pointed in panic**bursts into exam room 30 seconds later* “Y/N!!!!! I came as soon as I got the message, WHATS WRONG!!!”
You: *sitting on the table, reading phone* “Oh, I have a sprained ankle and they don’t want me to drive so can you give me a ride?”
Frankie:*slowly blinking* “Uh, yeah no problem…”
You: “lemme guess, you heard my name and hospital in the same sentence and ignored everything else.”
Frankie:*hanging his head* “go wait in the car, I’ll go apologize….”
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Not actual jokes, but he loves to sit with you and insult people. He’s an incredibly sweet person to you, but no one else. (Except service people, like nurses and waitresses. Just the general public) he doesn’t think pranks are funny or practical, which is one of the many reasons he and LJ butt heads. If LJ or Will prank you or him, he’s raising hell.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Love kissing your lips. He’s actually really self conscious about his mouth stitches and constantly frets they feel weird to you. Neck kisses are another favorite and are extremely private to him. He also likes to hold the back of your hand against his lips and tell you what he’s thinking, no matter how mundane. Kiss his stitches. Please. Just do it.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
He has trouble saying it to your face. He’ll whisper it to you when he thinks you’re sleeping, and he’s been known to leave little notes around for you to find. He thinks protecting you is the best way to show he cares.
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
The day you finally broke down and told him you loved him. He knew as soon as he looked into your eyes and saw your smile his goose was cooked. He was very abrasive and hoping against hope that you’d leave him be. He knew you deserved better. He was so afraid to build a relationship and love again, he wanted to distance himself and if he was an asshole to you, it would be justified and you’d do it on your own. What he didn’t expect is for you to be so kind to him. Upon your initial meeting, he had been a little harsh, but helped you (if there’s enough interest I’ll do a fic about it) and so when he subsequently was a jerk to you, you were curious and determined to find out what he was hiding. He finally had been mean enough to make you cry. He had never regretted something he did before. He immediately wanted to cradle you to him and beg your forgiveness. Normally when he insulted you, you’d have a snarky retort in reply. But not this time. You fell to your knees and clung to his legs and demanded to know why he treated you so poorly and proclaimed your love for him. It was probably by accident and you were so distraught you didn’t even know it flew from your mouth, but hearing it, he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t care about the consequences, he just wanted you. Hearing that you loved someone like him made him so happy, he knew he’d treasure the memory forever
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
Losing you. Period.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
What ISNT odd about this man?! A cute one is he always winks with his green eye.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
I HC that he was born in the 30’s, so he calls you “doll” a lot but only in private. He uses your name otherwise so it’s not as obvious to people watching you’re together. He will absolutely refer to you as “the dame” to others. The equivalent of “the boss” or “old lady.” “William! The Dame is trying to take a nap, so shut up or I’ll shoot you!” You call him stitches to tease him in private and are the only person allowed to do so.
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?) Either taking naps or couch potato time. Also, low key likes to cook with you. He can’t cook for shit, but likes to “help” by handing you things or chopping things for you. Is a super good taste tester, self appointed.
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
Stitches by Shawn Mendez (PLEASE DONT HURT ME!!)
We don’t have to Dance by Andy Black (referring to how he can’t really show you affection in public but he loves you)
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He’s open about himself and what he’s thinking, and will always take what you say into consideration. He doesn’t like to keep things from you, but he does omit some detail about his jobs if you ask about them. He just feels like you don’t need to be stressed about it.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
LJ picked up on Frankie’s fondness of you almost instantly. He and Will decided to do what they could to get you together in the interest of making Frankie less of a grouch. If it hadn’t been for them insisting that he was good guy to you, you probably WOULD have let Frankie’s prickly nature drive you away. It took a year or so for you to break down.
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?) A powder keg of insults, foul language, and bullets. Has actually never called you a name outright, and would absolutely never physically hurt you. When he was deliberately being rude to you, he’d insult your actions rather than you. “Stop acting like a dumb broad!” Vs calling you a bitch to your face. He usually calms down quickly, and is hardly ever angry at you, only when you put yourself in danger.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
He likes that he’s scary and tough looking so that when you’re with him, other men scatter pretty fast. Has had many occasions where he stepped away and someone came to flirt with you and he came back and had the pleasure of scaring them.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
You are not allowed to do anything dangerous, ever! Will teach you how to use a gun and how to counter things like chokeholds, so you’re less vulnerable. Will absolutely lose his mind if he learns you’ve put yourself at risk. He will shoot someone so fast for you. Takes every person as a threat to you and will pick fights with somebody that accidentally bumped into you. Do NOT test this man.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
You are an open book to him. He’s learned to read people well, and he takes his time studying you. Can tell if you’re getting sick before you can. More than once he’s handed you a bottle of Tylenol, leaving you bewildered, and shrugged and said to take them because you’ll have a headache in a few minutes. He can pick up on your emotions easily and has learned what to do to handle them.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
Honestly, marriage isn’t that important to him. He’s not opposed to the idea at all, but like you’ve been together for this long, you love each other, is it really necessary? You’d have to tell him you want to be officially married. He’ll buy you a ring, to show that you’re taken, if nothing else, but he’ll wear his around his neck under his tie so it’s not obvious he’s attached to anyone to discourage his rivals using you to get to him.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
The smell of your perfume. Holding you in his arms and taking deep breaths makes all of his troubles go away.
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
shunsuiken · 4 years
Note
hc’s for Kuroo and Bokuto with a fem!s/o that DOES NOT STOP TALKING!!EVER!!! like she seems quiet and calm at first, but then she surprises them; please 🥺🥺 xo
due to my illiteracy i read kuroo and kenma sdsjdksj i still wrote bokutos hcs tho so dw! thank u for this request<3
Tumblr media
kuroo, kenma and bokuto having a talkative fem s/o.
Tumblr media
—kuroo tetsurou.
so when you and kuroo first started dating
you guys were kinda nervous at first but thats natural for a new couple
after a few weeks though, you guys began opening up quicker and more comfortably with each other
communicating became much easier as well when you both learned each others love languages through lots of trial and error 💀
then came this time where
it was as if
your soul had switched with someone elses
because kuroo knew the type of person you were and what you were like
but that was not what he felt when he saw you excitedly chatting away with your friends regarding some movie that came out last week
(you guys are also laughing HYSTERICALLY with each other and omg kuroo has never seen that big of a smile on your face EVER)
kenma had to poke his sides to bring him back to earth cus dude was just that shocked
“KENMA WHAT WAS THAT FOR??-?-?-?1?1”
“you’ve been staring at y/n for a socially unacceptable amount of time, you look like a creep.”
“OH! HEY KUROO YOU’RE ON LUNCH BREAK”
oh my god. kuroo would think at first. who WERE you???
he realised that maybe all this time, the reserved and quiet you may have just been the first layer of your personality, maybe you just needed the time to adapt to the changes?
and so will kuroo lmao
“KUROO KUROO HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW MOVIE” “WE SHOULD WATCH IT” “ITS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE AND”
“y/N??? DO YOU NORMALLY SPEAK FHIS MUCH???” he was so used to seeing your calm and relaxed composure
and now that you looked like the epitome of chaos, he felt so cheated that he wasn’t able to get you to be like this in the first few weeks of the relationship
“YEAH!!! but MAYBE im on a SUGAR RUSH right now IM NOT ENTIRELT SURE BUT”
kuroo is just watching you speak, this dumb smile on his face as the truest form of you flourishes in front of him
he’ll start acting like a parent at some point because YOU ARE CRAZY MAAM
“y/n stop yappin’ and EAT” “WAIT WAIT LOOK AT THIS TEASER FOR THAT NE-”
he’d deadass shove a whole onigiri in your mouth just to tease you for a bit
he also likes that he can make jokes and make you laugh louder than before
hes just so happy to see this side of you 🥺
—kozume kenma.
kenma is going to be SO SHOCKED
ngl he’d probably look at u with his brows like >:0 “where did u take my girlfriend!!! where is my girlfriend!!!”
and you’d be in this happy mood so you are PEAK chatty right now so you’re laughing at kenma’s face cus 💀
were your two personalities really just that different 💀💀
kenma will have to get used to your sudden outbursts of excitement conversations every now and then
boy has NO idea what triggered you into switching personalities
but i guess kuroo helps him connect the dots and hes like oh and then hes like oh :D because its a good thing that you willingly act like this in front of him
esp without feeling embarassed or anything hes happy you’re comfortable
its also really cute when you suddenly feel like youre rambling too much
your arm would cling around kenma’s and he’d listen to you ramble about this new netflix show that was released a few weeks ago but it was totally cliche so you told him how the entire internet made fun of it
then when you turn your head to look at kenma, hes just looking forward and you’re like “sorry, rambling arent i?”
“its not a bother,” he’ll say, sliding his fingers to wrap around yours. “if you want we could watch it together for the fun of it”
and thats literally what yall did and oml is kenma glad to see the chaos unfold in front of him
(you were not wrong when you said it was cliche, kenma almost puked at how cliche it was lmfao)
he’ll defs poke fun at the way youre loud just around him and your closest friends but when youre with other people youre just crickets
sometimes when hes playing, you’ll watch his screen and suddenly start braiding his hair
and boy does he have some silky locks despite all the bleaching
then theres another situation where hes playing and you’ll be right beside him, commenting and yelling when they’re in a danger zone
“KENMA IF YOU STAY THERE YOURE-” “I KNOW I KNOW IM TRYING TO GET OUT” “QUICK!! YOUVE ONLY GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT”
“pft kenma you got your girl over or sth? we can hear her” an online friend is gonna say and kenma’s JUST BLUSHING AND STUTTERING, TRYING TO EXPLAIN
you can hear kuroo’s hyena laughter through kenma’s headphones 💀
and since you got to see kenma stumble all over his words and act like a nervous trainwreck, it was overall a very enjoyable experience for you
“sooo when are you gonna play again?”
HES GOING TO PINCH YOUR CHEEKS AS A PUNISHMENT
but you like it cus kenma does this cute nose scrunch whenever he pinches your cheeks
and ever since you’ve shown kenma this side of you, the teases between you and him have been endless
you both make sure never to go too far with the jokes tho! so alls good :)
—bokuto koutarou.
bo would prolly be so confused at first like yall know that one ep where hes up against karasuno for that summer training camp and hes just (°_°) YEAH
he’d be like that for the first five seconds before shit clicks
“Y/N!!! Y/N!!!!” “KOU!!! KOUTAROU!!!!” and cue the big couple hug
and every other third year is like 💆🏻‍♀️ here they go AGAIN
and akaashi is literally holding bokuto’s hotdog he literally threw in the air
“A- AKAASHI DO YOU SEE THIS” “yes, bokuto-san, please lower your voice”
bokuto is just 🤩 @ you and he can’t seem to take his eyes off your lips, he loves the way they move
sometimes when yall are in the same class, everyone purposely puts you two on each end of the class
just so that your vibes dont mix and end up causing an explosion
but distance makes the heart grow fonder 🥴
SO THERES LITERALLY NO DIFFERENCE
but even if you two become a lil too loud for everyones liking, they still enjoy the atmosphere you two bring
also loves to invite you and akaashi to walk home together because 🥺 the energy is just so nice
hes also glad that his girl and his best friend can speak comfortably
also rip akaashi’s ears whenever you two start laughing or yelling about some stupid puns you read out loud on the way home
now, during practises after school
the entire fukurodani vbc has to constantly remind you guys to tone down your noise levels
no, not those noise levels
but the way both of you can speak so passionately when talking about things you both have mutual interest in
there’ll be lots of jumping around and always expect the unconscious hand-holding, bo just really likes to hold hands with you
“Y/N YOU LIKE THIS MOVIE??1?2?1?-?1?” “YEAH IVE LOVED IT SINCE LIKE,,, FOREVER!!”
and obvi bokuto’s gonna bring up and ask you why and how you suddenly have so much more energy than before
and you’re just like “i’m only like that for a while 🥺” and you tell him you only start showing the way you actually act when you’re fully comfy w the person
his face softens, relieved that he can make you feel safe in his presence
hes happy that you’ve come to feel that way
so he becomes clingy for the rest of the afternoon you’re not complaining
407 notes · View notes
honesthammie · 3 years
Text
Te amo
I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.
13th doctor x female reader
Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.
Probably terrible as its my first songfic
I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations
This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.
Tumblr media
I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.
It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.
I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!
I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.
I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.
I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!
I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.
As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?
Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:
Spanish basics and need to knows.
I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.
I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.
A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.
Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.
I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.
Tumblr media
I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!
I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!
"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.
The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.
The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."
My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"
"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"
What. The. Fuck.
Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.
"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.
We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.
First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .
As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.
"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."
"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."
Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?
"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?
A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.
Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.
"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."
"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.
She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.
We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.
"So did you tell her?"
"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"
Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.
"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.
"Those are just friendly affec-"
"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"
Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.
Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.
I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.
"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.
"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.
"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"
"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.
Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.
Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.
The TARDIS
I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.
I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.
Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.
I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.
"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.
As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.
"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."
The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."
"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.
"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.
"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.
"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.
She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:
"Te Amo"
31 notes · View notes
shipuu · 4 years
Text
So i find tratie adorable so this how i think they got together
We are gonna make this realistic not that “fell in love when we were 16 and somehow managed to stay together through everything”. Nothing wrong with that trope. But like i said ~~realistic
Katherine gardner - originally from washington dc. She went to gerogetown uni.
She has always been passionate about the plants and first decided to major in Agricultural Studies, but then she didnt really like it.
So she switched to environmental studies. Not exactly about plants per se. But still related to the environment.
She sees the way humans are destroying the world and genuinely wants to help
Shes got good friends in college, sleeps around a little bit. Has a good relationship with her father.
Extremely hard working. Work ethic 1000000. Graduated with honors. Got a job at an enviromental consultancy firm in new york.
Travis off to college. I believe he went to a college in ny to be close to CHB and connor. Probably a community college seeing as he couldnt afford other unis
Nothing wrong with that. His relationship with his mom is rocky. So she wouldn’t be able to help out.
Majored in business administration. He takes it lightly his first year, seeing as how he isn’t used to the education system because he lived at CHB his whole life.
He genuinely wants to be successful. To have a life for himself and connor. So after first year kicks his butt, he works hard and raised his GPA the following years.
Extremely good at math and numbers. He steal messes around, playing pranks on people but nothing harmful. Also sleeps around a lot. (Nothing wrong with that)
Malcolm pace made an offhanded comment about how travis should start a new club at uni called “how to steal” and he considers it before shoving the idea away.
During the summer, he helps chiron with any business related things (tax forms, buying shirts, selling strawberries). Connor and him still play a lottttt of pranks
Graduated with honors. Lives in brooklyn With connor who is currently attending college. They still visit CHB from time to time.
So this one time, he steals something but then gets caught. Nothing expensive. A petty offence really. He calls chiron up to save his ass but chirons like NOPE.
So he gets charged. And the court gives him community service since it really was a petty offence.
He has to work with those “plant a tree” volunteer services during the weekend.
Katie is also volunteering there for fun and mostly because during the weekend, she has time to spare.
Travis goes there and is genuinely surprised to see her since he hasnt seen her in 4 years. ( she doesnt visit CHB as often. And even when she does she doesnt see the stolls)
Katie is genuinely surprised too.
First day, they dont talk the whole morning- just planting trees. Katie is still curious as to why he is here. So by the afternoon she asks him.
Shes isnt one bit surprised about the stealing thing. She also forgave them about the Easter Bunny cabin incident as it was 8 years ago??¿¿
Hes kinda nervous and blushing when he tells her the truth. Tbh he had a tiny crush on her back when they were teens. But it sorta went away, as they didnt interact much.
They catch up and its mostly just small talk. The next day, they talk more and katie realises travis has changed. He isn’t as annoying anymore. Travis also realises that katie has changed as she doesnt lecture and scold people anymore. Shes become more chill
The volunteering thing is over so they exchange numbers, promising to keep in touch. However over text, their convo is dry seeing as they arent THAT close and with their busy adult lifes. They slowly drift apart.
Fast forward another year. Katie works at her environmental firm and they start a new project. The firms brings in business consultants because the project has to be a success. One of the consultants is obvio TRAVISSSSSS.
Again both of them are surprised to see each other. Like always they dont really talk in the beginning. Mostly small talk. But then they get paired together for a part of the project.
So then it begins, late nights, coffee runs, laughter at 11pm in the office. Trying to work on numbers and investors and getting the most out reach on this project.
They get to know each other on a much higher level. They start to like each other but wont say anything.
Travis admits katie is gorgeous. And katie admits travis is handsome (not to each other. They just think about it)
2 months later, katie invites travis over to work on the project, trying to come up with an action plan. He brings over beer. And they settle in. Its 2 am. And they both are tipsy.
The project is long forgotten, and start talking about weird things like is cereal soup? Is gucci even worth it?
Its 2 am. Katies apartment is dim because of the lighting. They are both drunk. Sitting on the floor, extremely close to each other. Travis find hers absolutely gorgeous. Her cheeks are flushed coz of the alcohol. And shes wheezing so hard coz of what he said.
Katie thinks he looks hot as hell. And with his knowledge on business she finds him 1000 times more attractive.
Travis kisses her first, he pulls back about to apologise, before katie grabs him by the shirt and kisses him back. They have drunk sex on the carpet.
When travis wakes up the next morning, he realises he fucked up. Sleeping with a coworker. What was he thinking? You dont mix business and pleasure.
So he leaves her apartment. And when katie wakes up to see him not there she is kinda hurt.
They see each other in the office next day. And travis cant make eye contact with her. Katie is super confused because she thought he had a good time.
When everyone goes to lunch. She grabs travis and pushed him into a broom closet. And practically interrogates him.
Travis admits he likes her and she says the same. They’re super close to each other(coz of the tiny closet). The electricity in the air is charged. And they kiss again.
Travis doesnt wanna have sex in a closet so he picks her up, slams her on a table in the closet, bunches her tight skirt around her hips, and goes down her.
And katies just trying not to moan loudly. But failing miserably. Travis stoll knows how to eat pussy.
The rest of the day is filled with luscious glances, slight touches, her putting her hand on his thigh under the table and slowly inching upwards.
They meet up that evening at her apartment. And they agree to start dating. They keep it lowkey not yet telling connor.
After 1 month, they tell connor who btw called it from day one. He’s extremely happy for them.
Travis gets a bit jealous when guys flirt with katie and vice versa. But the two them only have eyes for each other.
Katie gets paired with another guy from the office for some work. Travis also notices that the guy checks katie out a lot, even though she is oblivious.
because of their conflicting work schedules, and how they never get to see each other. Katie working on the project with “that guy”travis is busy with his work, and helping connor out in his senior year. Late nights where they miss each other so much
And thats when their first real fight happens. Hes yelling. Shes yelling. Travis gets insecure that katie doesnt want him anymore. Katies positive they are gonna break up.
In a last ditch effort, she goes to his place. And have a painfully truthful conversation on how they both messed up. They promise to do better and communicate more
That night they make ~~love~~ to each other. Not sex, LOVEEEEE.
After that its smooth sailing. They have fights now and then, but nothing they cant handle.
Their first “I love you’s” is a week after they made love to each other. She was making dinner ( shes a fucking amazing cook) and travis is standing behind her arms around her waist, chin on her shoulders.
And they’re talking and he says “well thats one of things i love about u” and after a second he realises what he said and practically freezes. Katie stops stirring the pasta and turns to look at him.
They both just kinda stare at each other and travis is so fucking nervous and then katie breaks out into the most breathtaking smile he has ever seen. she tells him i love u back.
Their kissing turns to making out and he picks her up, slams her on the kitchen counter and they have sex. (They also turned off the stove dw)
2 orgasms later. They finally eat dinner. And things between them are fucking amazing
After dinner they retreat back to the bedroom where katie is screaming his name and travis’ grunting heavily.
And it’s complete bliss.....
Also side note. Hermes and demeter 100% approve
71 notes · View notes
24-guy · 3 years
Text
I spent 2 hours on writing notes from the prison podcast stream.
Now I don’t know what to do with them, so I’m putting them here. 
No need to read them, there is just some interesting stuff I noticed, things like tones and how many times somethings are brought up. 
if you do, though, I apologize  for spelling errors. 
start stream
techno "did the calculations" on how long it would take to mine obsidian with the amount of mining fatigue they had. we knoe this is true.
dream has been writing, it is the only thing hes been able to do with the limited items he has. its his "diary"
techno teases over fanfics on wattpad
"the only thing ive written is my diary" do the revive books not count, then? or what is in the revive books that isnt writing?
techno focuses on that nobody is watching - dream doesnt comment on it - dream doesnt know about the voices?
techno is supposed to break dream out, but he hasnt got many ideas "ill get to it later"
techno enjoys prison - sees it as a vacation
techno has an optimistic outlook.
go with the flow
dream sees harming himself as exhillerating techno disaprooves
dream tells techno quackity has been torturing him everyday. techno is only surprised by the every day part
dream mentions the revive book techno remembers being told about that asks "yeah you can bring people back from the dead. yeah so how do you do that" - curious tone, seems genuinely interested for innocent meanings dream responds " i have.. the knowledge and then i get a book and then i burn it" - hesitant at first, then vague but seemingly honest reponse
techno asks what the knowledge is, incantation/password/expelliarmus dream says "something like that" slowly, then quickly says he doesnt know and that he "doesnt know how schlatt had it" - going away from the topic original book - there are more than one it is a book is what youre saying - t well... i mean, it was a book that i memorised and that now i can recreate - d techno tries again to get the knowledge he wants to revive people dream doesnt want to tell techno because he wouldnt be the only one who knew techno tries to bargain saying that if dream died, techno coulld bring him bacl dream knows they wont kill him because he can revive people
dream says no, techno says "you forgot how to write it down didnt you dream says he didnt, that he did it recently, techno repeats again that dream forgot brings up wattpad again. dream says he wrote it down for tommy. he doesnt mention wilbur to techno. bring up the homeless situaation prison is dreams house cell is boiling apparently makes a joke about cali rent prices
nobody visited the cell "we stopped anarcy" "when we get out of here" no though ahead going into this situation (techno) "just as far as i need to" dream doesnt know what techno means by stream schedule, techno jokes about dream's lack of schedual techno usually trains always looking for new combat, reasearching constant arms race no idea when a government will arise or opressing people is always prepared has a good amount of gear he also plays golf somewhere offers a game with dream no way to describe it somewhere farther than his house
dream asks about tommy techno hasnt seen him canonically, only knows he stole acouple months ago - as far as he tells dream
dream asks about carl carl is doing well
dream asks about the family its doing good, apparently, new foxes, got steve who will break him out dream writes about steve "i will write evrrything down because its hard to remember" another fanfic joke
dream asks whos feeding them they feed themselves its probably fine
milld break for 4 wall break
gist or jist
prison podcast offers, agrees that is all this is
technical difficulties
podcast bros
eating potato
dream offers his thoughts on what would happen of he tried to revive somebody who is alive two technoblades human meat sheild
dream wants to try no death first what could go wrong nothing else to do
techno house is man vs nature conflict floor has ants floof brings ants spilled pet food dream has a revivebook techno tries to read it first hit with book a small wait throw into lava DreamXD joins broke the table fixed table a god dream "cloned himsef" god looks exactly like dream feels like a question to ask earlier dream summoned dreamxd ask for wish ask for bell dream gets mad because no escape dreamxd leaves sellout timer goes off techno makes money as dream questions his life dream sits in corner hole techno aims to be annoying we count channel members for a bit
dream and techno friend bonding time?
summons dreamxd for reviving nobody dream writes this in his diary as techno rings bell tries again, it doesnt work creative mode is a known thing by mortals they know how deadly it is
warden on vacation
techno hasnt written anything he has at least 4 books in his inventory, going from the top 2nd space to the top 5th space. the fourth book is called information and is signed by dream. dream throws a potato in the lava techno asks for the revive book again, this time to see of dreamxd will come back because it is a different person summoning him dream says no
techno needs a bell to sell out for the *brand*, ritual and tradition dream put the bell in church prime no twitch primes for dream - hes a heratic (no contract) dream makes no profit dream has lots of raw potatos for 5-6 months
techno asks if dream has any friends dream says not really, they turned against him techno knows the feeling being betrayed by closest friend happens every tuesday for techno
dream mentions being visited by a few people techno asks if any tried not to torture or kill him dream says yeah like he wasnt expecting the question/(as techno put it) "he hesitated"
sapnap - didnt torture or kill him - but he said if dream got out of there, then he would - techno says hes gotta raise his standards
bad - was the best - treated dream the best - techno says hes a cult leader - dream is surprised so techno tells him about the egg - techno wasnt clear - bad hasnt viseted since 4-5 months ago - techno says even he has friends - egg was attacked - big crossover episode not clear what is going on
techno - last time they saw each other was dooms day - been a while - lot has happened - techno doesnt now whats going on currently on the server - he knows nothing - "people" tell him who died and who came back
tubbo - asks about tubbo - tubbo is chillng - snowchester named - commune - a little sus - dictator - no rushing to conclusions - tubbo has nukes - big crater - a hoby - could be meteor
ranboo - asks about ranboo - ranboo is also chilling - brings up tubo's nukes now
dream points out that techno said he didnt know anyting and then said about a new place, nukes, and a lot more dream doesnt know anything - less than techno
ranboo (again) - dream says he used to visit a while ago and then stopped coming - techno asks "ranboo used to visit?" - ranboo visited "a bit" - probably visited the most - sapnap visited - tommy visited a couple of times - bad visited - and quackity - quackity visited the most, only because hes visited daily
more potatos pog potatos
ranboo (x3) - techno asks how dream knows ranboo - "um... its just a.. long story" - techno replies sarcastically about how they dont have any time to go through it, theyre so busy with the bell - dream "i dont know him very well. he just visited a few times and that was it." - techno just repeats alright, its either bored or thinking - dream "and then i havent seen him since then so thats why i was wondering where hes been, if hes been around" - techno " ah... im not sure. i havent been around fpr like the past couple of months, honestly."
techno went on  atraining montage, played golf
dream asks about the plan to get out mining fatigue 3 doesnt mean they cant break blocks, its just approximately 370 times longer breaking obsidian takes a bit over 4 minutes math = obsidian block gone in 25.7 hours. an alarm break in the right spot break block in toilet elder guardian below the cell techno can take him if techno somehow dies dream brings him back could be out in 2 weeks havent been visited for 2 weeks nothing to lose dream has to break obsidian techno wants to end stream techno came up with idea so dream has to do it dream starts bell ringing for cheerng him on techno sounds happy that dream is doing it voices are mentioned - theyre laughing techno has perfect track of time techno is gonna annoy dream the entire time techno is a lookout there are only 4 books we only see the 4th name floof interrupts momentarily tommy killed a cat because dream liked it 300 dogs in the cell joke
channel member bell dream regrets his life again techo's plan? bell was a better investment dream has 10 bells in e chest techno doesnt techno wanted to go for more so techno could ring bell again
end of stream
15 notes · View notes
saintwilllem · 3 years
Text
FORM YOUR LOVE .
so this is my analysis of both for your love and form of sympathy put into one as they are both of the same world. i am tagging @55bubble as i really want their opinion and thoughts on this but everyone comment / reblog and let me know what you think.  also if you need clarifications on anything please let me know i’ve been writing this half asleep after a hard days of work.  i may also visit  this again as the form of sympathy goes on.
  firstly i don’t know why i didn’t realize this is at first but both  titles  inform the themes and ideas of the comic.  for your love  is basically the story of understanding  love and what it will ask of you .  both moogyeong and yohan  have to see rejections through ( moogyeong his own , yohan his brother’s ) and the way it leaves them feeling to get to the end goal of love because what transpired between moogyeong and junseo was a crush that held him but it didn’t drive depth because it was something he would always try to brush off and hide away from .  yohan on the other hand sees his rejection  through his brother’s unrequited love and what that does is makes him overly cautious and stops him from looking inward and try to drive someone else’s story in hopes that he can be the “fairy-godmother,” this time around.  it isn’t until he looks at moogyeong not as a project but a person and therefore look inward does he realize that moogyeong doesn’t need to evolve its him .  on the other hand form of sympathy is the story of different forms of sympathies .   the main versions of this story branch sympathy from  yuri to his noona ,  to himself , and to sunwoo , goes on to his noona and him ,  and her new family ,  and lastly the real show of that is between   sunwoo toward yuri.  what i find interesting is that sympathy is defined two different ways :  feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune  and  secondly , the understanding between people ; common feeling .  you see both these definitions play into the story.  for example both meanings align with yuri and his noona’s relationship. it starts with sorrow on her misfortune and then becomes a connection between them both .  in the face of yuri and sunwoo their sympathy is still on the first meaning , and were sunwoo feels sorrow , i think yuri after chapter 30 is just starting to leave the stages of pity. 
 both stories are  about unrequited love. yet in for your love it lingers, while in form of sympathy it festers . Within for your love it is put to ease by the way people feeling it behave. moogyeong decides to be quite about his love , in small  part due to fear and another is that he himself isn't a man of big gesture.  he finds himself crashing into yohan who at first wants to break this boundary of fear and smallness  and wants to make it loud and known . he doesn’t get the issue of it because he has seen the aftermath of being rejected first hand and on someone he’s really cared about and he doesn’t want that again.  as i said before is what really  alleviates the pain of seeing junseo with someone else , and mooyeong still thinking about him is the final act of looking inward.  we see yohan clearly state that he loves moogyeong and it isn’t because of his brother or any other grand gesture but the fact that this is a person he feels at peace with and he will do what needs to be done to. improve himself for both of them because he can look at what has to be with peace.  
now with form of sympathy the unrequited are impressed with history that equated to them thinking themselves  fundamentally more important than they really were.  one may question the kindness of noona and how she would always just give herself away to yuri .  she would always let him tag along , she would come to his school when he was in trouble , she cared for him at the funeral of her parents when she should have been taken care of . i am of the catagory that she gave him so much because she felt for him as having love taken from you but also because she may have felt that she had to give yuri a mother figure to thank his mother for doing that for her and the way she thought of him.   and so what i think this has done is open a feeling of over importance inside of yuri  in which he believes that he is her center and that she is his , inside of her being a line that stands next to him and up lifts him.  this has made him cruel , because he feels unbalanced  and he uses sunwoo as his target because his history with his brother in law leaves parts of him on sunwoo and also because he can’t fully go after his brother in law because that would hurt noona.  sunwoo is someone he has power over not just because he knows his feelings and has been used as a substitute for them but also because of who they are to each other. they will always have the dynamic of student and teacher over them  but the fact is that this isn’t school , its real life and yuri has opened up the darkest corners of sunwoo and taken control of them from the dinner with alll four of them , to just being a needle that pricks sunwoo during their working together.  yet in the last few chapters of season one we see a flip of power or rather we see sunwoo and his guidance starting to tug at yuri .  now the  history between brother in law and sunwoo is also simillar to that of  yuri and noona because they also were just rhust into each other lives, and it seems like sunwoo created something out of brother in law that wasn’t there. i don’t remember if we get any really background into their relationship besides brother in law joining the movie club out on a  whim and sunwoo just tied himself into  him . and i think that its the same reason as to why yuri did it with noona and that is personality and how they made them feel.  mooyeong did not make junseo his center but yuri and sunwoo did with the people they liked and that is why they are spiraling . one in rage and the other into depression. 
what i also find interesting is that the injury sunwoo has is one on the hand. what makes this interesting is what a hand does is grab on to things .  a hand emits a start as in hand shakes , it holds on to and lifts a person , and also puts out the emotions one is feeling either on themselves or others.  so in having his hand injured sunwoo is basically trapped.  he cannot in metaphoric ideas pull himself out , nor can he go on to express any other emotions because not only is his injury onto his hand physically but it is also emotional in that it is hands the acted upon yuri and marked him as the brother in law when he knew he wasn’t , so his hand is both what ties him to yuri ,  drowns him in  the past  and stops him being able to heal. 
characters that can be imposed upon another through both stories 
yohan and yuri 
mooyeong and sunwoo 
junseo and brother in law
noona and yohan’s brother 
yohan and yuri are not just the main characters , they also both go through an arc of bewilderment , self-loathing , and isolation.  they are both haunted by their actions, yuri in how he has been behaving around his noona , and yohan how he has around mooyeong.  with his noona yuri latched on to her kindness and made into his life in that it is the  one thing to which he couldn’t be angry at because it gave to him without demanding but at the cost of him not being able to form other relationships purely because he locked his noona into an image of something for him.  but yohan instead of that had to drag out his insides and put them into their place.  he had to learn that what he knows is not enough . that what he has seen of himself in view of his family does not make him , nor does his brothers pain belong to him as he has been cared by him. yohan strikes back and decides to evolve, yuri decides to drown and devolve 
mooyeong and sunwoo are both teachers , sunwoo teaches geography and mooyeong tutors. they both have unrequited loves but what they do with it as i’ve mentioned before is quite different. one can assume that both lack the character to act with big gestures and that is why they both lose out on their loves. but if you look at mooyeong i dont believe that he is an overly emotional character in that unlike sunwoo he does not add romantic gestures to the idea of teaching and by this i do not mean that he is going on talking about love within his teaching but he has these big ideas of what students are like and how diverse they are and how troubled they maybe.  mooyeong keeps his head on pushing his students academically and he does feel but he does not center himself around the bursts of emotions he does feel. instead he reason with him because he knows that a love that isn’t spoken is better than a love that is spoken and then mocked / spurned and thats his struggle with yohan at first. while sunwoo is basically  of the measure that a love unspoken / unreturned puts a hit on a relationship . it ends it and does nothing but makes it painful and he keeps wanting to run away from what he had unlike mooyong and it something that cuts him because its a mark that says i was wrong , i am wrong and i will keep being wrong in many sense. 
now junseo is the kinder of the two. he might be a bit careless, a bit naive and clueless , but he does not insert himself into mooyeong’s life beyond the areas of the club and common decency.  he isn’t like the brother in law who keeps trying to put himself into sunwoo’s life from the calls to the mention of a gift and him asking him for help.  he feels that his place isn’t to force a way into mooyeong’s life and be a door that keeps opening letting him in and then kicking him out and i think its part of the reason why  this relationship was able to grow out  better than that of the one sunwoo and the brother in love have. also the brother in law remembers everything wrong about what happened between them and it something that breaks sunwoo under the issue of him thinking himself important but realzing that he wasn’t really anything because even friends remember things they did with another.  it enforces the idea that the club and sunwoo were but things to collect and play around with rather than value and hold with respect as junseo and mooyeong. he kind of tagged on top of sunwoo without the consideration of exactly what was required between them because as he came by the club by chance so did he sunwoo. 
With hyung and noona its a story of two people who are both the catalysts for the traits a characther decides to possess. From jealousy and agony in yuri, to fear and learning in yohan these two are the parental figures they never had but also become the ones they give up a lot of themselves for. Yohan decides to be the opposite of his brother and go after unrequited loves for others, yuri feels guilty for being so attached to his noona he has to isolate himself because her happiness should have been his as her kindness was his. If not for the conversation hyung and yohan had after being caught in his intimacy with mooyeong I don't think yohan would have really put aside his brother's pain and take a full leap into his relationship. Where on the other hand always being with noona and thinking her as a small little thing who got eaten up by a big bad wolf and having to converse with someone who doesn't really express their own feelings has kept yuri from really evolving and thats why he crashes against sunwoo so badly because even his first sister and her aggression is a mask out of what their parents have made them.
Now I love thar yohan has his dreams and yuri the train tracks. What the dreams show is that yohan is looking inside himself and is changing. The dreams symbolize his faults, from his ego on the surface hides a low self worth and mooyeong always becomes his consciousness which fires back at him as both the face of the wanted and his failings to achieve it because he is at a loss of self because he thinks to what he witnessed than what has to be.
The train tracks are a slow way of travel. The train goes and stops and you can only follow it. Yuri's facing sunwoo decides that this is his destination. That the pathway to his own salvation is the man he crashes into to seek the falling of his rival. The crash reassembles into guidance and guidance into freedom and so he drops the rope and build a slow way for him to reach peace. Also unlike yohan he has to look outward instead of inward
So this gas gotten really long, and so i say goodbye here until later when I have more to say and more time to do so.
26 notes · View notes
Text
Hey lovelies.
Got you a Dewey x reader fic.
Reader coming out as ace (asexual) while Dewey is playing the guitar and the reader lounging on his lap. Fluff and angst ahead. All aboard! Fair warning... its quite long...
Hope you enjoy. 💜
..................................................................................
Tumblr media
Safe
You and Dewey had been friends since kindergarten. You were as thick as thieves. Being able too see your best friend everyday since you two were roommates only made things better.
Dewey was a incredibly bouncy, happy person. That much you guys had in common. You both were as enthausiastic as you were chaotic sometimes. And when you were having one of 'these' days... the ones when you just woke up grumpy, you could find comfort in the small things in each other. He would give you one single look and knew what kind of day it was. It was on these days that Dewey proved himself being the man, the myth and the legend you believed he was. He would make sure your favorite tea was ready in the morning, with just the right amount of honey in it. And he would do anything to crack your mood up during the day. Including some 'sick' dance moves on random moments, and playing requests you had on his guitar always calmed your mind. In return you knew that playing guitar hero cleared his clouded mind, and spontaneous dance parties always made him smile.
Long story short, you'd be there for each other.
.......
The thing was that lately you came to realise that some things were different for you then they were for him.
You always pictured yourself with a partner as loving and caring as Dewey was. You just KNEW he was your favorite person in the world. It was just... difficult. The whole situation had been difficult. There had to be a person in this universe who wanted to know what made you tick. Besides Dewey. Right?
That was a question your head had been occupied with the last couple of months.
Of course you noticed Dewey going out. On dates. With actual girls.
He wasnt the most popular guy you knew, but damn... he had some charm in that authentic and warm personality he had. He also was kinda cute, you had to admit. But you were 101% cool with him dating. Even helping him pick out outfits and scolding him for forgetting garlic on date-night is a no-go. And when he wouldnt come home at night you would smile to yourself, because you was happy for the dude.
So why werent you out there? Dating? Again? You tried. Hell... you tried so SO hard to actually like people.
Liking wasnt the right word. Cause liking people wasnt that difficult. You could love the personalities of people in a heartbeat. Loved the way they laughed, or the freckles on their face, or the way they sat. You'd loved the way they talked about what drove them, what they were passionate about. You loved so many people. Yet you loved no-one.
You came to realise lately that you were kind of different. For instance: Dewey could swoon over a girl he saw for one second. One moment he was chilling with u at your local bar, the next moment you saw that sparkle in his eyes... And with a wink, a pat on your shoulder and a VERY bad attempt to moonwalk away from you, you knew you didnt had to wait up for him.
That was fine. Never bothered you actually. It was a signal you guys had created. Dewey also knew that when u werent in the mood or okay with leaving alone, you would put on a pouty face. That would be his que to get the random-chick's number, promising to call her, before excusing himself to her and drop back on the barstool beside you.
You liked it that way. He was free to go. As were you. He was your buddy. Your parnter in crime. That was the way it was.
You were just frustrated with yourself the last couple of months.
You could look at a man or a woman and be like: jeez, you are pretty. Look at that adorable face!
You would walk up there, talk to them. Now... that wasnt the hard part. The hard part came after that.
When you talked to someone, wether it be a beautifull quirky women or a handsome kind lad... there always came that moment that they would give a 'certain' comment. Or a glance up and down. Or let their hands wander little bit... and the magic would be gone for you.
Totally gone. Your mind would just go: 'nope'. You would find their smile attractive. But when everyone else's knees would give up at their bedroom eyes they gave you, and them saying something like: "you look like i could eat ya, wanna get out of here?" you would just feel nothing. Besides of getting noxious at the idea of them looking at you that way...
.......
Dewey noticed you getting more silent as you internly struggled with this a while. After 'just' men, you started some online research and tried something new. There was a period u had labeled youself as bisexual. But the label just didn't fit right. You tried the word: 'lesbian' for a month or 3.
Dewey had again proven to be an actual legend, after you told him you might not be straight. He was so pumped for you, buzzing with excitement and acceptance when you told him. He bounced up and down on the couch and offered to go to gay-bars together. You even had to keep him from hanging the actual rainbow-flag out of the window, to support you. Dewey suspected you had just been a late bloomer, so he was more then excited when you seemed to make some steps into the date-world, and wanted to make sure he helped you out were he could.
But that wasnt it either. Being bisexual or lesbian was not what made you you as well.
You had been desperately looking for a label to fit you but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.
........
Dewey would notice your online research by accident. He got up from his jamming session at the couch and ruffled a hand tiredly throw his brown locks. You was on a date. With... amy? Agnes? He couldnt quite remember. He chuckled, while opening your computer, hoping you'd been having fun.
He was looking on an article about ACDC he came across a while ago, when the google question popped up in the browser history. He frowed, but clicked anyway. "I dont feel sexual attraction towards people. What's wrong with me?"
A pang of guilt creeped through his chest. Did he totally miss all that? Y/n had fun with people in bars right? She was on a date right this moment... with... Anne, or whats her name again?
Dewey poundered, he would always see you laughing and having fun while chatting to strangers. 'God... you was so likeable it was super-easy for you to make new friends.' But after he put some more thought to it, he couldnt quite remember the last time y/n talked about having a crush. Or kissing someone. She didnt even talked about her date today enough for him to be able to remember her name. He felt a bit sad about it but Dewey had to find out what you were feeling, so he clicked through the rest of the history page.
.......
You actually tried to kiss Alma today, you'd been seeing her for a while... You two had a lot in common and you liked the way she practically buzzed with excitement when she talked about mountainbiking, smiling as she did so.
'it only seemed like the right thing to do' you forced yourself to think that... 'Alma deserved that much, right? She'd been so kind to me...'
After your date Alma reached out to softly grab you by your hip, pulling you towards her. 'Well... here goes nothing...' you thought as she brought her mouth closer to you.
But right when your lips were about to meet, it felt wrong. A panic rose in your chest and before you knew what happened you turned your head slightly and kissed her cheeck. You was infuriated with yourself. 'How could you! After date #3. Were you mad? What was wrong with you?!'
The girl in question seemed just as baffled as you. She smiled a sad smile to you, before giving you a side-hug and catching her train to go home.
You sighed, dropped your shoulders as you slumped home. 'Side-hugs are not good. They're not 'relationship-material', you fool." You wanted so bad to be 'normal...'
.......
By the time you was done walking home you reached a new low-piont in your self-esteem. Thats when you noticed u had a missed call. Dewey. You sighed. He had been SO happy for you to be dating. Enthausiastically helping you with your outfit and even what kind of perfume you should wear. You were not only a dissapiontment for yourself... but for Dewey as well.
You quickly wiped away a tear. Damn this. Damn this shit. Damn this day. You just didnt felt it. Again.
All you wanted to do was to jump into a hot shower, eat some pizza on the couch and lounge on the couch, revel in the safe comfort of Dewey.
You were not dissapionted by the smell of your favorite pizza already stalking towards you on the way to your front door. You smiled a bit at that.
Dewey had seen you crying through the window of your apartment and already planned to do something special for you, since you had such a hard time lately and he had been too oblivious too see it. So he decided to make you your favorite pizza, and just be there for you when your date didnt worked out.
You opened the door and was greeted by a dancing Dewey in his boxershorts and old band t-shirt. He was smiling at you while hopping of the cough while The Pretender of the Foo Fighters blasted through your appartement. He headbanged towards the speakers and you managed to get out a small snort. Your neighbours had to hate you guys.
Wiping your nose you tried to smile at him. But failed miserably. You stood in the middle of the living room feeling small and stupid. Your lip was quivering and you wanted to wipe the tear away that was spilling down your cheeck.
All in that moment Dewey was by your side, wiping away the tear that you inteded to brush away yourself.
You smiled sadly at him, through your tears and sobs. And you heard him mumble your name while pulling you into his arms. "Its okay love. You're okay. Im so proud of you." He started petting your head softly with his calloused fingers and holding you close. He knew this was a big step for you, and didnt asked any questions about your breakdown. Or date. He wanted you to tell him when you were ready. Untill then there were no words needed.
You got out of his loving embrace when you heard something beeping in the distance. "Dew! The pizza!" You smacked his arm and while muttering a "fuck" under his breath, he took a dive towards the oven.
He smiled a lopsided smile to you while striking a ridiculous pose, using the towel in his hands as a cape. He sing song: "i am the pizza heroooooo and i present you your favorite pizza, mylady...." You couldnt help but cackle at that. "Your a weirdo Dew... but thanx pizza-king."
.......
You two ate on the couch after you took a shower and dressed in your favorite sweats.
After Dewey had put away the dishes he dropped on the couch with you and grabbed his guitar. You went to lie with your head on his lap while he was tuning the strings. You listened to him fumbling with some wires and relaxed at the familiar sound and the rise of his chest above you. He played some chords untill there was a rythem in them and you felt your clouded mind become clearer.
You were relaxing against him when you heard him mumble your name... "hey y/n, wanna hear anything particular?" You shaked your head no.
He hummed in response, playing the tune of your favorite song anyway.
Dewey softly started singing:
"And i don't want the world to see me.
Cause i don't think that they'll understand.
When everything is made to be broken.
I just want you to know who i am...."
You felt the tears behind your eyes prickling. With a soft poke in his chest you whispered with all the courage you had left: "...Dew... Dewey..."
"Hmmm...sweetheart, whats up?" He replied softly.
You sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead, gathering some more courage. You muttered: "I ehm.... I think I need to tell you something Dew..."
He went to put his guitar away. Shifting slightly so you was lying with your head on his lap, and he could look you right in the eye from how he was sitting. He grabbed your hand ,that out of stress had been clutching your own sweater, and placed his hand around yours. Squeezing lightly in encouragement. He smiled at you. It was an understanding smile, full of love and patience. You could cry at that alone. But swallowed your tears away, there had been anough crying today you decided.
Dewey saw you swallow hard and brought your clutched hands to his mouth and kissed them. "You can tell me anyting babe. You know that right?" You hummed in response.
Knowing you could trust him but also feeling incredibly scared and anxious... you stuttered: "Dew... i think... there is a reason i dont... i think i might be..." he squeezed your hand one more time.
You took that as an encouragement and mumbled the words that were nagging you for the past few months, your nerves barely made your voice louder then a whisper: "I think... ehm... I might be asexual Dewey..."
You felt like you could throw up. Or cry. Or both. You actually were about to bolt and do just that, untill you heard a familiar voice bringing u back to the present moment.
"... y/n... love... youknow..."
You coulndnt even hear full scentences of what Dewey was saying. His voice fading away, your nerves making it hard to fucus. He noticed your absence and your shallowing breathing, your breaths becoming faster and shorter with each one you took in. You couldnt even look at him while saying that. You were a pathetic coward... and now he would finally see you for the freak and the outcast you were. He would be disgusted and think you were a robot and leave you... You took another shaking breath...
A feeling brought you out of your shallow breathing. You noticed familliar calloused fingers glide through your hair. Combing through it and massaging your scalp softly. A smile appeared on your face, his movement was slowly getting the darkness outof your head. Finally you dared to look up towards Dewey. He was softly humming to you. His voice always calmed you, definetly right in this moment. His humming grounded you, while he was softly playing with your hair. You felt his other thumb circle softly on your hand he was still holding.
He smiled a soft smile at you, whisperening: "Hey... your back with me princess?" You nodded slowly. Tears spilling on your cheeks once again. "y/n, sweetheart, i love you the way you are. Always did, and always will. You are you. And if that is being asexual, then that's totally okay and i will be here for you. Every step of the way. Im so proud of you..."
He wiped away your tears, and while you choked out a "thank you Dewey", he kissed you on your forehead.
"Im so proud of you coming to terms with yourself. You dont have to do anything you dont want, okay? Dont ever feel obligated to date anyone just to feel 'normal'. You are you, y/n. And you are enough."
You smiled at that and yawned. The emotions of today suddenly making you very tired. "Dew..." you mumbled sleepy.
"Yeah...?"
"You may do the head-massage more often... it feels nice"
He chuckled at that, pinching your nose playfully. "Thats a deal... now off to bed with you, miss platonic."
You chuckled sleepily. Admire-ing his bad jokes even at this time and moment.
"Thanx Dewey..."
"Anytime babe..." he awnsered.
You stood up, your head and body suddenly heavy with sleep. Your mind drifted for a moment, but came back to the presence of Dewey sofly poking your side. You giggled, he knew you were ticklish there, and you swatted his hand away when he tried to do it a second time. He chuckled at that, glad he made you laugh again.
You looked at the floor. Anxiety bubbling in your chest at the nagging question in your head. Could you ask him this? After all that just happened? Would he still take you serious if you did? It wasn't sexual but still as intimate as you could be, and you didn't want to seem like you weren't serious. Since... well... people... sometimes mistook cuddles for sex. You still felt anxcious and conflicted, but didn't want to sleep alone. You took a big breath, looking a bit tired and sleepy up at him. Heart thumping nervously in your chest as your hands started to sweat. You glanced at his face and when you saw a half smile creeping up his face you knew you could ask him anything.
"Dew.... would you..." you had to stop because a yawn was bugging you. You continued after wiping your face sleepily, still anxious: "would you mind sleeping with me tonight? I... just... really dont wanna be alone right now. I need some cuddles." You confessed, biting your lip as you waited for his response. Anxiety slowly spreading in your chest as you waited at his awnser.
Instead of awnsering with words Dewey got up from the couch and pulled you into a big hug, once again petting your hair while holding you tight. You sighed and felt the tension leaving your body as he held you. "Of course..." he mumbled sofly in the crook of your neck. You took a big breath through your nose, nerves calming as you were surrounded by the familiar smell of Dewey. A familiar smell of tea-tree-oil, a bit of sweat and a hint of pizza from your dinner. His body was warm and his stubble tickled your neck as he held you close. You felt safe in his arms, and less troubled. Your mind cleared with every breath you felt him take in as the two stood there together. His hands seemed to wipe every anxious, stressed thought you had away. His calloused fingers still combing trough your hair affectionately. You sighed back at him, relaxed by his caring touch: "Thanx Dew...."
......
When you lay in your bed, later that night you fell asleep quite quickly. You knew you wouldnt be alone. Dewey snored a little in his sleep, and you couldnt help but smile. Feeling safe in his strong arms as he hugged you in his sleep, you felt his calm breath on your neck. The last thing you thought before drifting off was: 'Its gonna be fine. Im gonna be okay. Dewey is with me. Whatever i happen to like or not like, feel or not feel...
Dewey is here. Right by my side.'
Tumblr media
Tagging: @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @hoodoo12 @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @thats-specific @vicunaburger @ironmansuucks @bugdrinkss @go-commander-kim @stranger-strings
52 notes · View notes
a-warm-whisper · 3 years
Text
I've been researching PPD because of my mom and im finding it so hard to do the things they are telling me. Don't fight them, accept their feelings, don't tell them they're wrong, listen to why they are upset. Im trying, im trying, im trying. A lot of the info says there is not much you can do until they seek help, but she has always refused. Lately she has been saying "well im better now" and its actually getting so much worse! She blames the last time she had an episode on her going through menopause but I don't think that was purely the case. Her last episode lasted years and this time is almost worse.
The last time she thought that my dad (who she has been divorced from since I was 5) was watching her and listening to her all the time. She used to cover the tvs in sheets so they couldn't record her, thought there was a listening device in the car so we could never talk about anything remotely serious without her "shhhhhushing" me, unless we were outside then we could whisper. She would tell me my friends weren't actually friends, our family didn't care about us, and EVERYONE we ran into she would think somehow knew my dad and was relaying information back to him somehow. She'd get FURIOUS, SCREAM AND THREATEN ME if I accidently let something slip to a random stranger that she didnt want my dad finding out. It got so bad she started shopping two towns over so no one would know her and that worked for a while until she started thinking that even those people knew my dad. She couldn't keep any friends because eventually they would either think she's nuts or she would misinterpret something they said into something awful and explode on the person about it eventually causing them to never want to talk to her again. And she'd never apologize even after I could convince her she had been wrong. She REFUSES to ever admit she's wrong with anything, not just related to her theories. I remember how she would wake me up in the middle of the night threatening to take me to jail or a boarding school if she found out i was telling my dad bad things about her. She tried so hard to convince me that my dad was some horrible creature that tormented her practically to death and it made me feel weird. I never believed her. Eventuslly she stopped saying anything about it and it seemed like she got better, but I wonder if she possibly still thinks he is out to destroy her?
This time is a little different. A little more controlled but its getting worse and worse. Now she is in love with the man on the radio....this one guy, who does the town news and talk show every morning except Sunday. Shes never fucking met him. Never once. Not even out and about (its a very small town i live in) and yet, she's MADLY in love with this man, who she knows nothing about. She thinks he knows who she is though. She did talk to him once on the phone. She called the station and asked him something about gardening to which he told her the answer and that was that, but now she thinks they have some secret thing going and that she loves him. But she also hates everyone else at the radio station because she believes they don't like her and believe she is somehow "using him" for money. So EVERY SINGLE SONG OR COMMENT OR WORD OF THE DAY OR ANYTHING SAID is directed at her. She is constantly telling me "oh Mike played this one song for me, he keeps playing songs about lost love" or if someone else plays a song that is about sadness or something its directed at her. Its hard to explain so here are some texts:
"You are probably asleep but I can't sleep because of the learn a word that Mike had this morning. It was reputation. Then Helen song was Man Eater. I am not a man eater all my husbands married me for MY money!!!! 2 husbands hit or strangled me or both! I kept the houses spotless. Did their laundry etc and now I have a REPUTATION!!!!!!!! I didn't have the men I dated but because I wouldn't & told them NO they spread awful stuff about me! Never done drugs do to my profession. My nursing came first always!!! Was always a hard worker. Some nights I never sat down! BUT I HAVE THE BAD REPUTATION!!!!!!! The thing these people have not even met me. Until you know someone you should not judge them!!!!!!! Haven't dated for 22 years because I was waiting on someone that was decent I had a lot in common with & was respected. Oh well I guess there just aren't any like that anymore!!!!!!
Yes I went thru a bad spell but that was because I was going thru the change of life thing. Which I hope yours goes more smoothly than mine did! Now there is medicine for what I went thru. This is how I feel If they treat me nice I treat them nice.
My own relatives will not even talk to me because Jody & Bill have said awful stuff about me! If they were in TBE same situation( no car) I would tell them to go ahead & cut down some trees and get a vehicle but they thing I'm a user. When Bill was without a job he borrowed thousands of dollars from his mom. Things are just not true what people are saying about me!!!!!!!"
These are from last night, she sends me things like this a couple times a week now. And she deletes them immediately after sending them because she doesn't understand that the whole world can't read our texts. I have no idea how to handle it. Everything she thinks is wrong. So wrong and I can't force her to see the truth.
I'm lost. And it just gets worse and she puts it all on me and expects me to figure everything out for her. She keeps asking me questions of what I really think, so I tell her what I think and she gets upset, screams and cries about how horrible I am for not believing her and then thats that. Im so lost. Its too much and I have no idea how to handle it. I wish I could ask a doctor how to help her more but I don't know how to do that. Im just tired tired tired. She keeps draining me.
Now she has had to go to the doctor a lot recently too because they found cancer in her stool sample and she isnhaving a hard time with this and I feel bad for her I truly do but I also don't know how to help her because she keeps not believing the doctors are telling her the truth. She keeps misinterpreting the nurses body language and thinks they are out to actually kill her EVEN THO THEY DONT KNOW HER. and I have to say, if I was a nurse I'd hate my mom too. She used to be a nurse, when I was young that was her job, but she quit after thinking people were trying to get her fired and she never worked as one again. BUT NOW, when she does go to the doctor she just HAS to make sure that EVERYONE KNOWS that she used to be a nurse so don't try to pull one over on her. She probably passes them off so badly because she walks in the place with an attitude because she thinks she was the best nurse ever to exist ever. So she has to tell everyone "did you know im a nurse, just retired" (which is a lie) and then when they don't acknowledge her she gets furious and thinks they are out to get her. She doesn't believe the things they say are wrong or not wrong with her, because she knows better.
I'm just, exhausted. And my boyfriend doesn't understand the depth of the situation. He just thinks I should stop talking to her but SHES ALL ALONE. she has no friends, no family, just me. She's ran everyone else away. She doesn't even have her own vehicle right now so I'm her only source to the outside world. How would she even get groceries if I didn't talk to her? But she is so demanding and draining and utterly depresses me to no end.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just needed to dump all this somewhere.
2 notes · View notes
musashi · 4 years
Text
whatever im just directly responding to this one because apparently if i don’t you’ll just take every other post i make out of context
Okay, for anyone concerned, here’s the end to the tumblr user musashi saga. To reiterate, the original sin is that I blocked her without comment. 
the original sin is that you did something i’ve repeatedly stated is heavily traumatic. reducing it to you blocked me is an intentional downplaying of my feelings and baggage. i have a disclaimer in my BYF to not befriend me if you are incapable of ending a friendship civilly and instead ghost/abandon people. you read the BYF. You read the disclaimer. you did it anyways. you blocked me without a word. i thought we were friends, and you sliced me out of your life without so much as an explanation.
Because I saw her post this shit beating others down all the time. And I got tired. And then she did it to me.
i literally don’t know what you’re referring to. there’s no link here. i don’t beat anyone down. sometimes people mistreat me and i get rightfully mad at them for mistreating me. beyond that, i literally just blog about pokemon. in another post you said you unfollowed me over hazbin hotel or some shit, which is an animated show i’ve never seen and have no opinions on.
[screencap of a personal post where i’m clearly panicking]
cool! nice one. real empathy and compassion showing here.
I didn’t say any of this, aside from that we weren’t friends.  (edited to point this out.) We literally had only talked on a cursory level a handful of times. 
you’re literally missing the point. you said that we weren’t friends, and used that as your defense for literally blocking me. it doesn’t MATTER if you personally thought we weren’t friends. I thought we were friends. I thought you liked me. my feelings were hurt, i was crushed. just because you think its NBD “she probably doesn’t even remember me” doesn’t mean you are absolved. You may have thought that, and I believe you thought that, but you were mistaken. This made me even more upset--not only did my friend block me, but my friend didn’t even consider us friends.
even if i didn’t consider us friends, what you did to me was wrong. but the fact that i did and you don’t just means it hurts more. that’s literally it. i recognize that i didn’t mean to you what you meant to me, but that literally does not mean anything you did was okay. i don’t know how to spell this out further!!!!!
She also says that I am falsely claiming that I did not block her – a claim I never made– and also that I never apologized for unfollowing her, when in fact I did, repeatedly, trying to get this to stop.
YOU DID NOT APOLOGIZE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO GAIN FROM LYING ABOUT THIS. you keep saying this! what do i have to do to prove you didn’t apologize? does ANYONE reading this have ANY ideas??? Elliot literally won’t state, anywhere that i can FIND, WHERE he supposedly apologized. alledgedly, he’s sent me apologies MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN??? i dont know where i’m supposed to be looking. my tumblr DMs? my tumblr asks i think? i pretty obsessively read my ask box, i don’t have access to DMs but i never received any, of that I am sure. this is important to me and i would remember! you have not contacted me! the closest you have come to contacting me, besides publicly talking about me on your blog, is frantically sending my friend marcus a bunch of messages about me and then BLOCKING HIM AS WELL. ALL of this i learned because marcus came to me incredibly confused (as was i) asking why my name was coming up all of a sudden. that is ALL i have heard from you. there have been no apologies, no one on one chats. it is WAY easier for you to prove to your followers that you sent an apology than for me to prove that i didn’t receive one, so can you please? can you give me ANY ideas on how to prove that i’m telling the fucking truth? literally WHAT do i have to gain from lying about this????? do you think i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of this shit??? do you think having someone i thought was my friend on the opposite side of things makes me happy??????? do you think i enjoy this?? i don’t understand what you think i have to gain from lying! i didn’t receive an apology, a clarification, a single word from you! this is all the talking you have done with me. public talking, and talking through marcus. you have not contacted me. the last time i heard anything from you was probably an ask or dm you sent me months ago. i wish you would either believe me or just admit you didn’t apologize and send me even one message and have EVEN ONE CONVERSATION with me! i don’t understand how THIS is easier for you! i don’t understand why THIS is the way you did things, and why you’re insisting you tried any other approach!!! i literally just want to understand!!!!!
Literally please compare this post to what I have ACTUALLY said about the situation on my blog. 
ok i will
literally right here you posted an interaction between us. it’s just an ask where you asked me a question about getting to your ask and i responded. you go on to say ‘how am i supposed to get ‘friendship’ from this?’ and then you go on to talk about how i answered some other asks before yours, denoting the asks i answered as ‘friends’ and (correct me if im misunderstanding!!!) implying the ones i didn’t answer as ‘not friends.’ but that doesn’t make any sense. my friendship level with people has nothing to do with how readily i am to answer their asks. what asks i answer depends on time, energy, how compelled i am with the topic at hand, and a lot of other things. im looking at this screencap and i don’t understand how I’M supposed to get “not friends” from it. you posting this made me feel like you were reading deeply into every single interaction i had with you... i dont understand how i was supposed to know that the way i responded here was “unfriendly,” and i don’t understand how i’m supposed to know that me answering certain asks in a certain order has any connotation other than the literal one-wendy is answering certain asks in a certain order. and yeah sometimes i burnout or lose steam and just delete all my asks or don’t get to some. i didn’t realize i was being monitored on that too... thats what i was talking about in my personal post you very rudely put on display. i just thought we were friends, i didn’t realize there were all these... micro-interactions i had to be monitoring? i didn’t realize this stuff would make a difference about if you liked me back or not, i thought we were just friends and we liked each other already.
you also said:
She genuinely never called me by my name. She didn’t know how to spell it because she’d never spelled it before. My friends know that my name is not spelled like that because it’s 1 letter off from a very famous person. This wasn’t a guilt trip; it was truly just hurtful for her to address me by name the first time when she was calling me an asshole.
i didn’t know this was a social faux pas either. i am honestly really bad with names and even if i’ve known someone for years i will nervously check their blog to make sure i am getting their name right. i didn’t nervously check yours because when someone hurts me i can’t bear to look at their social media for fear of what i might find there. but i think “she spelled my name wrong and therefore we weren’t friends” (my understanding at least) is kind of drastic. if that is the case, i really don’t have as many friends as i thought i did.
sorry i did that, in any case. i’ll learn from it and not do it in the future.
I hope doing so makes it clear the extent to which a popular blogger (WHO I LITERALLY HARDLY SPOKE TO BEFORE THIS) 
like you literally just keep twisting the knife in. i don’t know how to tell you that how much i am able to talk to people has nothing to do with how much i like them and if i consider them a friend or not... this is hurtful. you keep bringing up how little we talked, or how i talked to you, and its hurtful. i just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand that, esp when you’re autistic also. how have you not experienced exactly what you’re doing to me? someone who doesn’t understand the way you value a person’s company because they’re not allistic ways? i can’t talk to my friends all the time. sometimes, the most i can do is a like in their direction, a response to something they sent me, or even just silently reading their posts. 
what about this is not clicking? my ways of showing love and appreciation are different. you were in my private discord server, something that is HEAVILY vetted due to past abuse and full of people i consider my closest friends. you were someone i followed on tumblr, something i do not easily extend because of just how much rhetoric on this website upsets and overwhelm me. and regardless of if we didn’t talk enough by your standards, you still liked so many of my posts and i regarded you fondly and enjoyed seeing you and considered you my friend. just because my ways of showing appreciation were not in alignment with your ways or your standards, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or matter.
has been intentionally manipulating my words and actions to make herself feel better about losing a follower she thought was cool, through her own actions at that. 
i’m not a “popular blogger,” who “lost a follower,” i’m a person who lost a friend. if i am really this... image you’re painting of me, of some social media influencer with “tens of thousands of followers” (i’m. not?? i don’t even have one 10k, let alone several) then why would i care about losing ONE?
i don’t know how to spell this out clearer. i’m traumatized. my trauma centers around repetitive abandonment from friends, more specifically blocking/softblocking/deactivating/moving blogs. to paint you a picture, there are certain posts on this website that actively trigger me despite being harmless, because they were the last post at the top of a friend’s blog before the friend remade their entire social media just to leave me in the dust. sometime’s i’ll be scrolling and some errant funnyman text post will send me spiraling.
and that’s what you did to me. that is why i am upset. it has nothing to do with making me feel better, it has nothing to do with manipulation, i do not need to manipulate this situation and to say that about a borderline having a fucking breakdown because someone perpetuated a horrible trauma she’s lived through time and time again is fucked up, wrong, and shitty. you are constantly downplaying my feelings by acting like just because you didn’t consider me a friend, what you did was okay. you refuse to talk to me one on one, or show me any indication of the apology you keep claiming you sent. and now you are acting as though this speaking out i am doing has to do with some ~tumbler dot corn callout dramaz~ instead of a person lamenting and hurting on her personal blog about yet another person hurting her in a very easily avoidable way.
i don’t know what “my own actions” are that drove you away. you didn’t have a conversation with me about them, or if you did i never saw it. i just woke up one day and you had blocked me. i still don’t know why you blocked me. i just know all the reasons you think it was an okay thing to do.
You can genuinely read back to see that what she claims I am saying and doing is at best self-aggrandizingly misinterpreted, and at worst actively and maliciously misleading.
maybe things wouldn’t get misinterpreted if you instead communicated with me instead of just ghosting me and trying to talk yourself out of the guilt of it. i don’t want to misinterpret anything, i just am having trouble understanding why you did any of this to me and your answers to all those questions aren’t helping me understand because i can’t ask about them in real time.
I am reiterating the same shit because it’s the truth. Her desperation to convince her tens of thousands of followers that I’m “lying”, while asserting that I said things that I did truly actually not and you can literally just go see that on my blog in writing, is tremendously telling.
i clarified some here, but i still don’t know where i’m supposed to be looking for this apology. 
again, i don’t have tens of thousands of followers, and me posting on this blog isn’t about reaching an audience or whatever, it’s about... processing the pain you’ve caused me.
I will say it bluntly now: You are not a person I would ever want to be friends with. 
thats fine, but i wish you would have just told me that instead of doing this. a lot of my friendships end because i was incompatible with a person who doesn’t feel the need to traumatize me to avoid having a conversation. you could’ve just shot me a DM and told me it wasn’t meant to be, and i could’ve thanked you for your time and moved on with my life.
I cannot be emotionally manipulated in such transparent ways, and I am not impressed by you. If that makes you mad, I hope the fire keeps fizzling.
my suffering won’t make your life better, and demonizing me won’t lessen the guilt of what you did to me. you’ll heal a lot faster if you just admit to even just yourself that maybe you could’ve handled things more gracefully. 
Tumblr media
this is exactly what you did to me. and you confronted one of my friends asking for space/understanding about why it hurt you. right here you literally ask marcus, word for word, what i wanted for you. the hypocrisy you’re showing me is astounding.
13 notes · View notes
dirt-cup-draco · 5 years
Text
Loki X Reader
Requested by the lovely @starofthedawn <3 It’s spooky season y’all! 30 "No?? Of course I'm not scared... who gets scared of... floating objects or... um weird sounds? Not me, that's for sure." 53 "There will be a lot of screaming tonight." 84 "Oh, this isn't a costume, this is my natural state of being." 
Tumblr media
Loki watched as you fidgeted in your seat uncomfortably. Tony had just had the bright idea that spending a night in a supposedly haunted house would be a relief from the daily work load of “tracking down baddies and kicking ass” as the billionaire had so eloquently put it. His lips twitched up. The god had seen you go into battle with an iron stomach and steel heart, cutting down people like it was nothing. Yet, it seemed as if you were spooked by Tony’s proposal. 
“My lady Y/N, might you be frightened?” He challenged, eyebrow raising. You flushed and looked away. Steve glared from a distance and Sam looked amused. 
"No?? Of course I'm not scared... who gets scared of... floating objects or... um weird sounds? Not me, that's for sure." You scoffed, extending your legs so you could kick at the plush carpet beneath you. Nat stuck an elbow in your side and you jumped, eyes narrowing at her quickly before shooting back to Loki. 
“C’mon Reindeer games, our brave Y/N is coming, and she is delighted to,” Tony put the words in your mouth and your shoulders sagged. Loki nearly felt bad but it was almost delightful seeing you act in such a way. It was good seeing you had fears, that you weren’t a perfectly graceful, wonderfully brave, sickeningly good hero. The fact that you were fearful of possible spirits in an old creaky house made his heart swell that much more. 
He wouldn’t admit it but you had a piece of his heart that you had obtained, not willingly on his part might he add. He would never purposefully fall for a human. Pitiful meat sacks. 
---
“I need to go see my grandma!” You battled, struggling against Sam who had you over his shoulder, your fists pounding against his back. 
“She’s been dead for seventeen years,” Sam shot back. 
“I can’t forget to feed my pet fish!” You tried again.
“You don’t have one, come on stop being a wuss this will be fun!” Your friend encouraged, smacking the back of your thigh as you wacked his back particularly hard. 
“I left my stove on?” You mentioned in a last ditch effort. 
“You know Stark has some wacky tech that turns everything off to preserve energy,” 
You groaned as Sam set you down and you glared more, your arms folding across your chest as he tossed your bags into the trunk. You stomped around for a second and tried to run past but Loki was suddenly materializing, his arm going around your shoulders. You tensed but your fight was suddenly gone at the god’s touch. 
“You look as pale as a ghost darling, getting prepared for Halloween ahead of schedule?” He teased, his hand dragging lazily from your shoulder down to your elbow and back up leaving you warmer than you should be in the last week of October. 
"Oh, this isn't a costume, this is my natural state of being." You shot back as he set his hand on your lower back, guiding you into the car. You took note of how he stood behind you so you couldn’t try and book it back to the tower. 
Sam was behind the wheel, Bucky next to him in the passenger seat. Bruce and Scott took the two middle seats and Thor sat in the back. That left you sitting next to Loki. At least the trip wouldn’t be a huge bust, you could at least admire your crush. It was childish but he had captured your heart with a single look and you found yourself at his mercy, whether he knew it or not. 
You however, were grumpy that he had stopped your retreat so you took the other window seat, leaving the middle seat for him, his eyes narrowed because he now had to sit next to his talkative brother. 
The first hour and a half was in fact filled with Thor’s booming voice and you nearly felt bad but the blonde god eventually tired and he let his head slump against the window, nodding off. Bucky and Sam murmured to songs and Bruce read while Scott drummed his fingers against his legs, earphones in place, a to a song no one else could hear. 
You let your gaze fall on Loki and found he was already looking at you, suddenly the beauty of the colorful trees and country fell away and you could only think of how his eyes were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. It had taken you by surprise. You gulped. 
“Are you that worried about the little get away?” He asked, misguided by your sudden intake of breath.
“I think it’s a great idea, really, I just feel like we are asking for trouble like in those movies where the dumb college kids go and get murdered because they thought it’d be cool to camp out, ya know? Like the dumb blonde showers and gets shanked, and the horny couple fucks and gets shanked, everyone gets shanked is my point.” You stated.
Loki was clearly amused and you were sure you hadn’t said anything funny. He was just thinking that you were something else, you could gut a man but you were fearful of becoming a horror cliche. A wicked grin pulled at his features and he leaned in, breath fanning hot against your neck, lips brushing against your earlobe causing you to shiver. “Can we be the horny couple?” 
You blushed deep red and your mouth gaped, you turned to face him and squeaked when you saw the short vicinity. You struggled to find words. Finally you settled on, “Fuck off Loki,” Your eyes darting back out the window. You know he liked messing with you but sometimes you wish he wasn’t. Your flirty exchanges had been going on for a while, him being bold and all but you know it was just to get to you and there was no meaning behind it. It was just how Loki was, sensual yet deceitful. You tried to not let the words get to you.
--
When you arrived, you were the first to undo your seat belt, climbing over Loki and exiting the car, still embarrassed from what he had said earlier. He however fought the urge to pull you into his lap and kiss you breathless, your sweet blush making his heart stir around in his chest. But he let you pass and you went to Tony and Steve who were waiting outside the decrepit house, a scowl on your face. Loki exited the vehicle and hovered around you and the two other men. 
He made a show of letting his eyes roam around the place, taking note of the lake just a short distance from the house, the rest was forest. 
“This is stupid we are all going to get aids or rabies or something,” You grumbled, foot digging at the gravel. 
“We are not,” Steve cut in.
“I promise it’s mostly sanitary, just a little run down,” Tony reassured. “But there is the matter of rooms, there are more of us than rooms and well, everyone else already called dibs, so you and you know who are sharing the upstairs bedroom to the left. 
Loki turned around and looked at Tony. He nearly cheered when he found the man’s eyes were already pointed in his direction. He got to share a bedroom with you. And your cheeks were that delicious shade of scarlet he was becoming so accustomed to. 
You stalked over to Loki, a pout on your full lips as you shared the news. 
"I guess there will indeed be a lot of screaming tonight." Loki teased. 
You rolled your eyes. “Stop being gross, Loki,” His smile fell. Usually you shot right back but all today you had shut down everything he’d said. He honestly wasn’t used to it. Was he being gross? He thought you had liked the flirting. He thought you had some feelings for him, even. Maybe he was wrong. 
Disheartened he got his bags and followed you into the building, the wind chilling his nose. He was glad to be inside. Your comment and the weather had left him feeling quite chilled. 
--
Sam made dinner and a fire was lit inside, tony brought a broom and swept around, making the dust rise. You wrinkled your nose and said you were going to bed early. Loki decided he wouldn’t follow immediately. 
“Jesus, if I thought the kid would be this miserable I wouldn’t have forced her to come,” Tony said regretfully, had rubbing the back of his neck. 
Loki sighed, “It might have actually been something I said...” Everyone’s eyes were immediately on him and he felt small. A chorus of “what did you do this time?” and “what’d you say?” rang out. He didn’t like it but maybe your friends understood why you were suddenly being so cold to him. 
“It was just harmless teasing!” He defended. Wanda was the first one to show some understanding.
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I don’t want you to piss her off more,” The woman’s voice lowered. “She really likes you you idiot, ‘harmless’ isn’t so harmless when you actually care about the person,” 
Loki looked around. Everyone was nodding in understanding. “You mean to tell me Y/N has feelings for me?” 
Sam groaned. “I thought you picked up on desires and all that shit,” 
“Not when he is blinded by his own!” Thor chuckled loudly, delighted that his brother’s emotions were being discussed. 
The dark haired god elbowed his brother and sent him a chilling glare before standing. “I am going to retire for the night I think,” 
He was nudged and bumped and a couple people whistled while Steve reminded him to be mindful of your feelings. It nearly made him gag. The stairs creaked and he had to fight the urge to look behind him. He wasn’t scared but he could understand your discomfort with the place. 
When Loki opened the door you were sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at your unopened suit case. “Thinking about leaving?” He said, simply to make you aware of his presence. 
You whipped around and shrugged. “No, everyone wants me to be here, I wont ditch even if this is probably the worst thing I’ve had to do all year.” 
“Ouch, didn’t think sharing a room with me was so terrible,” He tried but worried he had crossed another line. 
“Thats not it Loki, I dont care about that, I just dont like spooky shit, even movies bug me. I haven’t gone to a haunted house since I was fourteen.” 
“You know me,” He said, sitting next to you, “What other monsters are there left for you to be frightened of?” 
You frowned deeply, eyes connecting with his. “You aren’t a monster Loki,” 
He shrugged indifferently. 
“Clowns though, clowns are fucked up. And demons, and ghosts, and-” you sighed. “I’m being silly aren’t I?” 
Loki shook his head. “Everyone has something they fear,” He stated. 
“And what is it that you fear oh mighty Loki?” You asked earnestly but with a jesting tone, leaving him an out. This conversation was nearing dangerous waters and you didn’t want to pressure him into sharing. 
 Loki took a steadying breath. He didn’t mind being honest with you. “That I am damned to be unloved all my life, that I will only be seen as the defective son of Odin, that there is no place for me in this world, nor in Asgard.” 
Your gaze softened and your hand crawled to his. You intertwined your fingers and squeezed gently. “That isn’t true,” you muttered, “You are loved whether you recognize it or not, you have made up for any wrongs committed and you have a place here with m- us, with us....” 
He looked at your intertwined fingers and thought about how yours fit perfectly in his. “Who do you think loves me?” His heart stuttered in his chest. The obvious answer being Thor but he couldn’t be sure that there was any other being outside of his forgiving brother who truly had love for him. The look in your eye made him hopeful though and he suddenly decided that he could push his luck. 
“I am positive you at least have an idea,” You whispered, you pressed your leg against his and looked up at him from your eyelashes. You hadn’t withdrawn your hand yet. 
He could practically hear your heart bursting from your chest and he watched your pulse quicken. Loki’s own heart was working quicker than it had in a long time and he was melting in your warm bubble. The air between you two was charged. 
It didn’t take much and he wasn’t sure who leaned in first but his lip was barely brushing against yours. Your breath hitched and you were nearly afraid to move. Loki gulped and let his hand fall from yours to fall at the nape of your neck as he pulled you against him. You automatically stretched, pressing your chest against his. His other hand went to your hip. 
He experimented and pressed his lips more firmly against yours, his heart thumping when you reacted, your hot breath coming out in a gasp when you chased his mouth with yours. By the time you were sated your chest was heaving and you were in his lap. 
“I’m thinking” Loki spoke, his voice not sounding like his own,”That you might have to tell me one more time who loves me,” 
You rolled your eyes and went to go grab your pajamas but he saw a smile at the corner of you swollen lips. 
“I’m thinking this trip might turn out okay,” You said before walking into the bathroom to change. 
Loki could only grin. 
190 notes · View notes