#following tags are just used to find my audience: | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkitt-is-here · 10 months

Text

Frequently Asked Questions!

Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.

Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.

Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?

ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.

Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?

Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.

Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?

I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)

What do you use for your art?

I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!

What are you using to make your games?

I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!

Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?

It's fun!

Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?

Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard

Can I make an OC based on your work? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!

Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics? As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!

Can I use your art as a PFP? Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D

Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?

Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]

Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?

Yep! That's me.

Where are you in MLP right now?

Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.

Have you watched Equestria Girls?

Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.

What's your opinion on MLP so far?

I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.

What do you think of G5?

Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!

Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?

Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.

Favorite pony?

Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!

Favorite episode/season?

I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.

Do you like Pony.mov?

Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!

Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?

Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!

What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?

I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.

Are you transgender?

Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!

Are you a lesbian?

Nah, I'm bisexual!

Can I commission you?

Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.

Can I use your art as a Discord emote?

Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.

Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?

I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!

Favorite Color?

I'm a sucker for blue!

Favorite coffee?

Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.

Favorite tea?

I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.

Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?

Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.

What's your favorite game series?

Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.

Favorite game from those?

Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.

Any other favs?

Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!

Favorite Movie?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.

Oh, are you going to college?

Yep! I'm a film/theater major.

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.

What is that little orange creature I see?

That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.

Do you have a ponysona?

Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.

When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?

No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.

How do you work on so many things at once?

I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.

Did you know you look like Weird Al?

Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out

WHY do you work on so many things at once?

Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)

Do you need any help with your projects?

Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.

If you could be a horse, would you?

You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.

Are you some sort of...furry?

yeag

Why do you reblog so much?

Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.

Fav music artists?

It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.

Why are you like this?

theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo

SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS

Is it out? Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)

What are you using to make it? SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.

Is there a demo? You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.

How do I install it? I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!

#FAQ #my posts #punkitt FAQ #announcement

1K notes · View notes

mwahkazu · 2 months

Text

୨୧ synopsis: — you wake up to find your phone flooded with messages from your close friends, all of whom are seeking to the spend the day hanging out with you! how and who will you decided to spend your day with?

꒰ characters: ꒱ wanderer, kazuha, heizou, venti, xiao

꒰ tags: ꒱ gn reader, intended as platonic relationships but is free for interpretation, wanderer is referred to as kunikusuzhi (kuni), college setting

꒰ note: ꒱ a stealing the spotlight special to celebrate this blog reaching 100 followers! as usual i have tagged those from the series to this post encase they’d be interested. thank you all sm again for the endless support <33

golden threads of sunlight filter through the curtains, painting your stilled room in soft orange and yellow hues. a mellow summer breeze sneaks its way in through the small opening of your window, one you had mistakenly left open from the previous night’s endeavors of sneaking out onto the fire escape to get some fresh air after hours of being cooped up in your room studying.

the distant sound of traffic noise and passing metro trains reaches your ears, making you stir in bed as you gradually start to wake up from your deep sleep. at first, you’re thinking it’s still too early for you to be waking up. after all, your alarm hadn’t even gone off yet, so surely you’ve still got another hour or so of sleep left.

but just as you let your head fall back down into your pillow, that cursed sound of your phone’s alarm blares all throughout your room within the next second. so much for getting more sleep.

restraining yourself from throwing your phone against the wall, you shut off the alarm and begrudgingly pull yourself out of bed. once your feet meet the floor, something soft begins to tickle at your skin, the sudden sensation enough to startle you awake as you look down to see the source.

“rosseland?” the cat simply meows in response, affectionately rubbing itself against your legs and emitting soft purrs. a small smile finds its way to your lips. “decided to stick around for a bit longer? well, let’s hope whoever your owner is isn’t freaking out right now…”

you crouch down to give the small feline a few gentle pets on it’s back before beckoning him to follow you into the kitchen for breakfast.

most of the time you find yourself skipping breakfast in the mornings, usually due to the fact that you end up sleeping past your alarm and thus end up in a hurry out the door in order to get to your classes on time. today seemed to be your lucky day though, as not only did you actually manage to get out of bed at the appropriate time, but you got to indulge in a full and gratifying breakfast—cereal.

after serving rosseland a small portion of cat food into his bowl, you walk over to the fridge, grabbing the carton of milk out to pour into your own bowl of cereal. just as you do so, your phone buzzes on the countertop behind you. probably just a random notification from an app you don’t even use.

after a minute, it buzzes again. and again. and again? archons, what in the world is going on?

heaving out a sigh, you walk over to grab your phone. on the homescreen, you’re greeted with several messages, all from five different individuals whom you know all too well. how strange that they all decided to text you separately. there is a group chat with everyone in it so why not text through there?

feeling too tired to question such behavior, you decided to just brush it off and begin going through each person’s messages one by one.

━ ꒰ MSG FROM: KUNIKUZUSHI ꒱

━ ꒰ MSG FROM: HEIZOU ꒱

━ ꒰ MSG FROM: KAZUHA ꒱

━ ꒰ MSG FROM: XIAO ꒱

━ ꒰ MSG FROM: VENTI ꒱

welcome to the 100 followers special for stealing the spotlight !

this is no ordinary event, but one that i have exclusively planned to center around the characters from my smau series that has and continues to receive constant support from all you lovely readers~

therefore, i figured it was only fair to make a special event in which you the audience can have some power in how the story goes. engagement in this event is quite simple.

after reviewing the text messages you received from each character, your job is to accept one character’s offer and then name an activity you’d want to do for the day. once you’ve made your decision, you will submit your choices to my inbox where i will then write out a little headcanon piece for you based on your choice and how i think that will play out :3

IMPORTANT: this event only has 5 slots available, one for each character. there is no guarantee that i will pick your submission as due to time constraints, i can only stick to doing five. once i’ve made the selection, i will compile all five pieces into one post. on there i will be tagging the user that requested, announcing the activity they wrote for said character and then the written headcanons i came up with.

SUBMISSION DEADLINE: march 26 2023

taglist (open 29/30) ; ━ this taglist is dedicated to my smau only! if you are interested in being added to the taglist for the smau, you can either comment on the masterlist post or send to my inbox!

@peaceindreams , @miwafei , @whipped-for-fictionals , @blissfullyapillow , @yotraumainthebuilding , @reixtsu , @almond-t0fu , @quacking-simp , @kika-a , @kookiibun , @silentmissinghallucination , @sleepyeri , @xiaossocksniffer , @14-paradise , @kaitfae , @cupid-spams , @semi-orangeapple , @scarletttcroww , @sl-vega , @ethiy , @swivy123 , @ceneid , @kunikuzushis-darling , @beasalmeh , @enjisthings , @lloovvv , @sn1perz , @dreamyysouls , @glxssmemories

#stealing the spotlight! ✩#genshin impact #genshin #genshin smau #genshin x reader #wanderer #kaedehara kazuha #shikanoin heizou #xiao #venti #kazuha x reader #wanderer x reader #heizou x reader #xiao x reader #venti x reader

155 notes · View notes

choke-me-joey · 1 year

Text

Eddie Munson x fem metalhead cheerleader

Summary: Based on this - how Eddie met his not so typical cheerleader girlfriend and a little exploration of their relationship.

Content warning: 18+ content minors DNI, smoking, underage drinking, drug use, swearing, flirting, smut.

AN: there is a scene in this based on a ✨️video✨️ i had sent to me by a beautiful anon and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. If you want the link you can find it on my page or message me and I'll try to send it!

📢 TAG LIST IS NOW FULL 📢

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

The following Tuesday, after practice and your homework, you'd driven over to The Hideout to see the famous Corroded Coffin play to their crowd of regular drunks. You parked your car in the lot, getting out and straightening out your cropped Iron Maiden shirt. You'd paired it with some shorts and fishnets, as well as your Docs and your jacket which, courtesy of Eddie, now had a WASP pin resting proudly on the lapel.

You made your way into the, quite honestly, dump of a bar, impressed that you didn't even need a fake ID to get in. You grinned when you saw Corroded Coffin setting up on the small stage and made a beeline for your friends and your....Eddie.

"What's up, rockstars?" You smile, giving Eddie a cheeky pinch to the butt as he was bent over with his back to you sorting out his peddle. He angled his head to look at you, and nearly keeled over at the sight of your outfit. He recovered, standing up to hug you.

"Now this just isn't fair, sweetheart, gonna be playing our set with a fucking boner," he groans into you ear, making you giggle. He subtly kissed your head.

"Holy shit you actually came!" Gareth said, grinning at you from behind his drum kit. "Eddie said you might not make it because of practice."

"Like I'd miss the infamous Corroded Coffin live in concert," you gesture to the homemade banner behind them. "I'm excited!"

"You're probably the only one in the audience who is," Jeff laughs, glancing over the few people who had come to the bar to watch them play.

"Well, just remember who your biggest fan was in the early days, yeah?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Eddie winks at you and you have to wrestle down the urge to kiss him, not knowing how he felt about your...whatever this was between you being made super public yet. You instead settle on shooting him a wink and going to get yourself a drink whilst they finished setting up, patiently waiting for their set to start.

You were surprised when the bartender handed you a beer, apparently Eddie had sorted you with a drink before you'd gotten there, and again that meant nobody was checking your ID. You said nothing, taking your beer and sitting at a table close to the stage where you had a good view and Eddie could definitely see you.

The band start their set and you're completely blown away. Not only are they actually pretty damn good, the way Eddie carries himself on stage is incredible. He's confident, charismatic, nothing new there, but he eludes this sexy rockstar attitude that makes your pussy clench as you watch him. He plays with an energy that should be for 80,000 people not just 0.01% of that.

You watch his skilled fingers running up and down the frets, effortlessly playing chords without even glancing down. And when he sang, god your heart skipped a beat. His voice was the perfect mix of soft melodic singing and raw yells and shouts. They played a mix of covers and their own songs, their musical influences clear in those original pieces. Your favourite so far had been their rendition of Paranoid by Black Sabbath, and a song called Shallow Grave of their own. You had screamed and shouted and applauded, probably too enthusiastically really, but you didn't care. They were good, and Eddie was hot.

As the notes of another original song, Strangers in the Dark, came to an end, Eddie spoke into the microphone.

"We're going to change things up a little bit now folks, with a new cover dedicated to a very special person who happens to be our number one fan. This one's for you, airhead." He shot you a smirk and you grinned back at him, your cheeks flushing. "Sing along if you know it, maybe even dance a little if you're drunk enough."

The opening notes of Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks, but with a Corroded Coffin touch, began to play and your jaw dropped. You fucking loved this song, and your mind and heart race when you remember you had told Eddie that, probably about 3 weeks ago when you'd first started speaking properly, only mentioned it briefly when he'd seen the tape of Bella Donna sticking out of your bag.

He'd...learnt this, for you? Made his band learn this for you without even knowing if you'd ever come to one of his shows?

It's a good thing you were sat down because your knees felt stupidly weak.

"Just like the white wing dove, sings a song sounds like she's singing, ooh, ooh, ooh," Eddie croons; his voice could have brought tears to your eyes. He wasn't playing guitar for this, cupping the mic in his hands in a way that should have been illegal.

You sit in your seat, singing along, watching as a few drunks get up to dance, mostly middle aged women who look as if Stevie Nicks is their lord and saviour.

"Come on honey, your boyfriend is singing this for you! You gotta dance!" One of the Stevie-ites grabs your hand and tries to pull you up to dance.

"Oh, I cant-" you start, feeling a little embarassed. Ridiculous really, seeing as you were in front of two entire high schools nearly every week dancing and cartwheeling and splitting. Why the fuck was dancing in front of Eddie making you shy?!

You catch Eddie's eye as you're dragged onto the small dance area in front of the stage, the woman lets go of your hand to do her own Stevie style twirl, and you laugh, doing the same when she encourages you to do so. You glance up at Eddie and he grins back at you, still singing away as he pulls you up onto the small stage, twirling you around. You stay next to him, wrapped in his arms as the band finishes the song. When the last note plays, Eddie grabs you and you kisses you hard on the lips and you wrap your arms around his neck, the small crowd whooping and cat calling as you break apart, both of you panting and grinning like fools.

"You're amazing," Eddie says breathlessly, looking into your eyes.

"Me?! I'm not the one who just turned Stevie Nicks into a bad ass metal anthem! You gotta record that, you...you're incredible!" You pant, your face starting to hurt with how much you're smiling. You run one finger down his chest whilst looking up at him through your lashes. "How much longer is the set, rock star?"

Eddie swallows hard.

"Uh, th-three songs."

"Perfect, I'll be waiting by your van when you've packed up." You shoot him a sexy smirk, pecking his lips once more and hopping off the stage to watch the rest of the set.

True to your words you were waiting, leant up against the side of Eddie's van as he finished loading up his equipment.

"So, I've been thinking, that bed you've got in there?" You gesture to the back of the van. "Super fucking comfortable, perfect for laying down after a successful show, don't you think?"

"While every fibre of my being is going to hate me for saying this, Y/N-"

"Who said anything about sex?" You cut him off and he looks at you, confusion etched on his face. "Just wanna show you how appreciative I am that you learned a song for me, very cute by the way."

"Well, I have been known to be pretty cute," Eddie grins, letting you pull him into the back of the van, kicking the door shut. He grunts, letting out a breathless laugh as you push him onto his back and straddle him, pushing his shirt up his stomach. "Hey, you know you don't have to do anything you don't want to, right?"

"What about if I want to?" You smile, rocking your hips experimentally against him. Eddie groans, fingers biting into your hips. You lean down and kiss him, tongue immediately finding his. Eddie's hands travel from your hips to your ass, squeezing it softly at first, then harder as your kisses grows deeper and more desperate. You pull away from the kiss, sitting back on your heels and your hands hover over his belt buckle. "Can I?"

"Yeah, yes, shit, you can do anything you want to me right now, sweetheart." Eddie groans as you undo his belt, your hand ghosting over the bulge in his jeans. Once his jeans are also undone, he helps you by lifting his hips so you can pull his jeans and boxers down to his mid thigh. You can't help the gasp that leaves your mouth as his cock springs free, slapping his lower stomach.

"Holy...what the fuck, Eddie?!" You laugh, unable to process what you're seeing. He's big. And not just big, but thick too. Uncut, with a delicious thick vein running along the underside of his cock. His balls are - is it weird to say perfect?- big and round and your mouth salivates at the sight. Would you even be able to wrap your hand around him? Swallow him down? Would your cunt stretch enough to accommodate him? Your brain buzzed with arousal.

"Not really something I go around showing off," Eddie chuckles, hissing as you attempt to wrap your hand around him, slowly stroking him. You pull back his foreskin to expose the head of his cock, the same beautiful shade of reddy purple as his lips, and you watch in fascination as a small bead of precum blurts out and over your fingers. "Shit, Y/N, your hand feels so fucking good."

"I haven't even done anything yet," you giggle, moving a tiny bit faster, your other hand gently cupping his balls. You make sure he's looking at you before you let a glob of spit fall from your mouth onto the head of his cock, using it to lube his shaft for your hand to glide easier along it. Eddie fucking whimpers, whimpers, at that, his head dropping back onto the pillow beneath him.

"Fuck, babe, you're fucking...you're a dream."

"A wet one, I hope?"

"You're...everything. God the amount of times I've thought about this, about you...Jesus, how are you fucking real?" Eddie sighs as you work your hand over his cock faster, the mix of your spit and his precum making it easier. "Can I...fuck, can you take your shirt off? And...and put my jacket on?"

He prayed silently that you'd agree, it was all he'd been able to think about for about 3 weeks. You smile, nodding, taking off your shirt. Eddie almost blows his load there and then. Not only were you braless, but you also had your fucking nipples pierced, the two silver bars winking at him in the dim lights streaming in from the car park. You send him a knowing smirk briefly letting go of his cock to grab his previously discarded jacket and slip your arms into it, the leather cool and somewhat a little sticky against your damp skin.

"How do I look?" Your voice is low and sultry, laced with arousal. The throb between your legs is almost unbearable now, and you grind your crotch against his leg for some relief.

"Like every wet dream I've had since I was 13," Eddie groans as you spit on his cock again. "Shit, never thought you'd be so..."

"So what?" You challenge with a smirk, one eyebrow cocked as you continue to jerk him off.

"Jesus, so fucking...filthy." Eddie gasps as you run your other thumb over the slit of his cock, gathering some precum on the digit and sucking it into your mouth. You exaggerate a moan, this was purely for him right now but he did taste really fucking good. "Shit, gonna cum soon, don't stop baby."

"Not going to Eds, want you to make a mess all over me." You push the jacket off of your tits so he can clearly see them. Your free hand pinches one of your nipples, making you moan and grind down onto him again, a whimper leaving your mouth.

"Jesus fuck!" Eddie grunts, his cock twitching in your hand as he cums, streaking your tits, stomach and a little bit of his own jacket with thick white ropes. You stroke him through it, letting go of his thick cock when he starts to hiss in discomfort. "Fuck, princess, easy, easy," he lets a breathless laugh as you scoop up some of his cum off your tits with your finger, popping it into your mouth and sucking it off. "Jesus H Christ."

"I prefer Y/N." You grin, letting out a squeal as Eddie pins you down onto the floor of the van, kissing you hard. His hand wanders to the button of your shorts. "Hey, don't worry about me, handsome. This was all for you."

"You sure? I want to." Eddie's eyes flick to yours and you smile.

"I know, and believe me I really want you to but I have to get home, school night and all that." You sigh and Eddie groans, dropping his head to your shoulder. "My fingers will just have to do tonight."

Eddie groans even louder.

"Shit, Y/N, that isn't fair."

"Relax, Eds, my parents are away this weekend, so I'll have that big, empty house all to myself. You wanna come over and protect poor little old me?" You put on a fake pout. Eddie smirks.

"And by protect you mean-"

"Fuck my brains out until I can't fucking walk and make me scream so loud the neighbours will know your name? Yeah, that's what I meant." You giggle, pecking his lips softly.

"Oh, I'll be there baby, I'll protect you so hard, don't you worry."

Taglist:

@big-ope-vibes

@50shadesofuncomfortable

@bibieddiesgf

@josephquinngirly

@mich-13

@wintersoldierbaby

@gracieluvthemoon

@lilmisssimp

@cutiecusp

@lovelylittlemetalhead

@angelina16torres-blog

@ceriseheaven

@icallhimjoey

@harrys-four-nipples

@chaoticgood-munson

@quinnypixie

@joesquinns

@quinnsbower

@ghostinthebackofyourhead

@joejoequinnquinn

@ches-86

@mystars123

@micheledawn1975

@tlclick73

@emxxblog

@bakugouswh0r3

@bellamy1998

@dylanmunson

@avalon-wolf

@pastelorangeskies

@letme-simp

@them-cute-boys

@beeblisss

@aol19

@sadbitchfangirl

@spacedoutdaydreamer

@0o-venus-o0

@bexreadstoomuch

@l0st-f1ow3rs

@kaitebugg03

@yeehawbitchs

@latebread

@steveharringtonisbae

@alexa-33

@shotgunhallelujah

@coffeeaddictednymph

@angelsarecallin

@eddiessweetheart86

@daysinthephoenix

@squishyturtle

#iswaw #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie smut #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things eddie munson #eddie munson x you #stranger things smut

954 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 4 months

Text

BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes, The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

160 notes · View notes

pastshadows · 5 months

Text

Shadows of the Past

Chapter 2: Home & Heartache

Summary: Astarion remained a spawn after ending the reign of Cazador with your help. After defeating the Netherbrain, you and Astarion stay together, moving forward with your lives. You reside in a small house in the city. One night, after an awkward and concerning interaction with him, he disappears without a trace.

Setting: Post End-Game. Mostly canon compliant.

Word Count: 6.7K

Content: Explicit 18+ - intended for mature audiences.

Warnings: [Additional tags will be added, but expect mature content / read at your own risk.

Spoilers. Mentions of in-game missable content. Violence. Longing. Sexual themes. Blood drinking. Angst. Innuendos. High use of sarcasm. Completely fabricated camp interactions.

You’re standing on the docks overlooking the spanning vista of Deepwater Habor. A pale crescent moon is reflected in the glassy surface of the still water. Your hair blows in the slight breeze as you stare up at the heavens with tears streaming down your face.

Having to tell Astarion that you could only be his friend had been a kind of torture you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemies. The love of your life was standing in front of you, telling you he wanted to be with you, making all your dreams and fantasies a reality, and you had shied away from him.

It was the last thing you wanted to do. You wanted to be swept up in his comforting embrace and spend the rest of your life with him. A life with him was all you had desired since falling in love with him, but could you trust him not to leave you again?

“Do you always come here at night?”

You jump at the disembodied voice emerging from the inky darkness, nearly losing your balance and plunging into the bay water.

Astarion struts casually out of the murky twilight.

“Do you always sneak up on people?”

“Darling, you wound me.” he says with a dramatic sigh, “If I were sneaking, you wouldn’t have heard or seen me until I was right behind you.”

You know he’s right. You’ve seen in him action more times than you can count. His ability to move silently and blend into the darkness was uncanny and, honestly, a little disconcerting - if you were not his friend.

I am beginning to loathe that word, friend.

You roll your eyes at him, “I come here when I can’t sleep.”

“Which is often, it seems. I’ve seen you standing here every night since… since I saw you last.”

He’s been watching me?

“Astarion,” feigning irritation, “have you been following me?”

“Following is such a crude word,” he shoots you an innocent grin, “I prefer… admiring from a distance.”

“You always did find a way to twist things into a more glamorous light.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, my dear.”

You laugh, turning away from him and looking back out at the vast ocean.

“It is beautiful out here.”

When you turn around to answer him, you realize he’s staring directly at you.

Concern spreads over his face, “You’ve been crying. Again. What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean again?”

There isn’t a point in denying you have been crying tonight. You can feel your eyes are swollen and red from nights spent weeping. Trails of tears stain your rosy cheeks.

“Did you truly forget how good my hearing is, darling?”

Throwing him your most innocent smile, “No, I just wanted to hear you admit you’ve been stalking me.”

“Oh,” he tuts, “cheeky tonight.”

Laughing, you hold out your arm, “Walk with me?”

“Anywhere. Lead on.”

You spend the night walking around the sleeping city. Reminiscing about old times and laughing at shared memories.

“Do you remember the bugbear in the barn?”

He chuckles, “How could I possibly forget? I don’t think eternity is long enough to burn that image from my mind and the grunting,” his face twists in disgust, “Gods below.”

You laugh, “You wanted to open the door.”

“Darling, you were going to open that door regardless.”

“I was,” you admit.

“Thank you for allowing me to do the honours.”

Dawn starts to sprawl across the sky too soon.

You try to sneak into the manor, but Gale is waiting for you, pacing around in the foyer.

“Where have you been? I was worried sick!”

“I…I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk.”

You still have not told him about Astarion, but you can’t exactly put your finger on why.

I want to keep him all to myself… just for a little while.

“All night?”

“How did you know I was gone all night?”

He looks around as if you’ve caught him with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

“You’ve been entirely too reserved the last few days, even for you. I came to check on you, but you weren’t in your room.”

You feel a light annoyance grate at you, “I don’t need babysitting, Gale.”

“I’m just worried about you, my friend. You look like hell - no offence intended. You barely sleep, barely eat, and barely speak. Something is clearly troubling you.” his face softens, “Let me help.”

You know in your heart that Gale is genuinely concerned about your well-being but having him fuss over you is making you feel entirely too suffocated.

“I’m sorry, Gale. Please just give me space.”

He sighs, “I’ve been trying to give you space for months. It hasn’t helped.”

No matter how genuine Gale’s concern is, his reluctance to give you what you so desperately need drives your anger further. You had felled Gods, an army of mind flayers, countless creatures hellbent on killing you, and he dared to think you could not take care of yourself?

Turning, you grab your coat and open the door, “I can’t do this, Gale. Not right now.”

“You’re leaving again?”

You look back at him, “I’m so sorry.”

The morning air is crisp, and your skin prickles with goosebumps at the chilled, damp breeze. The sun is half-risen, splaying a beautiful blend of yellows, pinks, and oranges high into the brightening sky.

You wearily walk through the increasingly loud and crowded street. Your eyes are lidded heavily as your exhaustion sets in. You pass shopkeepers starting their daily stocking of goods, street vendors wheeling their carts out, and the children selling the daily paper screaming their sales pitch.

Before you’re even aware of where you’re going or what you’re doing, you find yourself standing in front of the Golden Harp Inn.

Fuck it.

You climb up the creaking staircase and stand in front of room 2. Glancing both ways down the hallway, you check for any sunlight peeking through the windows before letting yourself in.

I probably should have knocked.

The room is dark, nearly pitch black, but you hear bare feet pad on the wood plank flooring.

“You’re lucky I can smell you, darling. I very nearly took off your pretty little head.”

A match ignites, and Astarion lights a small candle on the bedside table. He’s shirtless, his trousers hanging loosely around his waist. The candle flickers, and the shadows frolic on his silvery skin.

He stares at you, confused by your intrusion, “What can I do for you?”

The words tumble out before your mind catches up to your mouth, and you have a chance to stop them, “Get in bed.”

He chokes, “I’m sorry. What?”

Your face goes flush, “Sorry, that was brash. Let me try that again - may I please sleep here?”

“You…I mean, of course, but why? What’s wrong?”

You whisper, so low that you know only his ears would ever be able to catch it, “Because I miss my home…”

“Oh, my love. Come here.”

You take long strides, closing the distance between you in a frantic rush. Wrapping your arms around him, you push your body against his as closely as possible, nuzzling your cheek into his cool chest.

His arms wrap around you in that tight embrace you remember well, and you breathe in his scent.

You’re exhausted. So many nights have been spent fretting over his sudden reappearance, wondering what you should do and trying to stop yourself from doing exactly this.

You release him reluctantly and shrug off your coat, throwing it over the chair sitting by the bedside.

“May I?” Motioning to the buttons on the navy dress you’re wearing.

You want to be close to him, as close as possible, with no more barriers between you, as long as he is comfortable with it.

At least, just for today.

You tell yourself it’s just for today. After this, you will have to return to being “just friends” as you requested, but do you truly believe you could ever be just friends with this man?

You know this could be a mistake, but you’re too far gone to stop yourself.

He smiles slyly, “Allow me.”

His hands move to the buttons, and he undoes them quickly. You barely even feel his hands at work before the dress slips from your shoulders and pools to the floor, leaving you in your undergarments.

“Beautiful.” His voice is breathless, with just a touch of hoarseness, and his eyes slither over you hungrily.

Astarion whisks you off your feet in an easy, fluid movement, and you wrap your arms around his neck instinctively. He eases you onto the bed before slipping off his trousers and climbing in with you.

“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” He eyes you quizzically.

“It’s nothing.”

You don’t want to tell him about your disagreement with Gale.

“Surely, you didn’t come all the way here to break into my room, delight me by letting me undress you, and climb into my bed over “nothing,” darling.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

His eyebrow cocks up, but he nods, telling you he will let it go… for now.

You reach out to him, laying your hand gently on his chest, “Can I come close?”

He replies simply by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him with a happy sigh.

You lay your head on his chest and slide your leg over his in a careful, slow motion, watching for any of the usual signs he’s feeling uncomfortable. You pray that you haven’t gone too far. He’s deliciously close now, and you want nothing more than to stay like this as long as he will allow.

He doesn’t tense up at all. He seems perfectly comfortable. Dare you say, delighted even at the closeness of your body.

Astarion plants a soft kiss on your forehead and rests his cheek against it, stroking your hair in the same comforting way he used to.

Your eyes feel heavy and begin to drift closed immediately as your exhaustion envelops you. Your mind floats in that dreamy expanse between awake and asleep.

“I’m too cold.”

He tries to shift away from you, but you hang onto him tightly as if he were the lifeboat that was stopping you from drowning.

“No, you’re perfect.”

“Foolish woman,” he clicks his tongue in disapproval, “you’re trembling all over.”

“Perfect,” you repeat quietly.

He chuckles, shifting more blankets over you, “Rest now, my love.”

Astarion blows out the bedside candle, blanketing the room in darkness. He rests his cheek on your forehead and starts to hum like he used to, lulling you into your trance.

“Astarion?”

“Hmm?”

You can hear sleep starting to permeate his voice.

“I missed you.”

He kisses your temple softly, “I missed you too.”

For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, you fall into a deep and dreamless trance.

When you awaken, you’re still comfortably entangled with Astarion. His arm is wrapped around your shoulders, but he’s awake with one knee bent, reading a book by candlelight.

You untangle yourself from him and shift away.

“I’m sorry.” you feel suddenly shy, “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

A low laugh escapes his lips, and he smiles happily, “Darling, this sad excuse for a bed has never been more comfortable.”

You can’t help but grin back at him, “What time is it?”

“Hmm, I’m not entirely sure, but from the absolute ruckus coming from downstairs, I assume it’s late evening, possibly early night.”

You’ve slept through the whole day, and you feel like you could sleep through another one as long as your body is intertwined with his.

“Are you going hunting tonight?”

“No, not tonight.”

He typically went hunting at night for dinner of the four-legged variety, or at least he used to years ago.

“What were your plans for tonight?”

“Oh, you know me, darling. I skulk around in the shadows, stalk a charming sorceress until she retires for the night, and then I see how many drunkards' pockets I can pick before I get caught. The usual.”

You giggle and roll your eyes at him. He’s being honest, and you can’t help but wonder how many citizens of Waterdeep have awoken with a bad hangover and their coin purses mysteriously missing.

“Let me guess, you never get caught?”

He chuckles, “You know the answer to that.”

Yeah, he never gets caught.

You remember his deft hands well. They always moved with precision and purpose.

Especially when they were exploring my body.

You flush at your thoughts.

A wicked smile tugs at his lips, “Oh, don’t keep your dirty thoughts to yourself. Do share.”

“I was having no such thoughts.” “Your body is telling me a different story, but I digress. Are you going to tell me what this was all about now?”

You knew he wasn’t going to let it go for long.

You sigh, “I had a… disagreement with Gale. I didn’t want to be there.”

His eyebrows pull down in a slight scowl, “Did the wizard harm you?”

You laugh, “No, Astarion. Gale would hardly swat a fly unless he had to. You know that.”

“Good. I would’ve hated to have to kill him. I’m sure even his death would be boring.”

You nudge his shoulder slightly to show your disapproval of his joke. He merely laughs at you. It was a gesture he knew well, of course.

“Then what did the wizard do that made you come all the way here?”

“He… He was being Gale. He’s worried about me, but his particular style of worry can be so… overbearing.”

His eyebrow cocks, “Why is he worried about you? Did you tell him of my return?”

“No. I haven’t told him about you yet.”

He leans forward, finally closing the book he’s been holding, “Curious. Why’s that?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, Astarion. I just… didn’t want to.”

“I see…” He looks at you skeptically as if trying to read your mind.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.”

You get out of bed and whisper a cantrip, lighting a small fire in the little fireplace, warming yourself by it for a second. Nights in Waterdeep were chillier than you were used to.

Moving to the little window at the end of the room, you glance at Astarion to make sure he’s far out of the way of any potential sunshine that could stream in if he were wrong about the time of day.

Once you see he’s safely away, you push the heavy fabric curtain out of the way and glance outside. The sun has already set far below the horizon, cloaking the city in darkness. It’s cloudy, and the moon shines brightly behind the thick cloud cover, but that pale light doesn’t reach the streets. It gives the city a rather eerie feel.

“It’s night.”

You glance at Astarion, and he’s eyeing you with a seething scowl.

“What in the Nine Hells are those?”

You give him a confused glance.

What is he talking about?

He jumps off the bed and crosses the room in quick, long strides, grabbing your arm and holding it out for you to see.

“These. What the fuck are these?”

Oh…

He’s looking at the scars that mar the flesh of your arm. The telltale puncture wounds of vampire bites. Similar to the one adorned by his neck.

“They’re nothing.”

You pull your arm away from him swiftly, your hand trying and failing to cover the scars he’s so hawkishly inspecting.

“Those are certainly NOT nothing. Tell me.”

His tone is commanding, almost forceful, and his face is twisted in a rage you haven’t seen on him in some time.

There’s no point in hiding it.

“When you left, after I was sure you weren’t coming home, I tried to find you. I searched for you in every place I could think of.”

His brows slowly rise, softening his expression, and you can see the anger slowly dissolving.

“I returned to the Underdark to see your siblings. I thought maybe you had gone there to help the other spawn we set free, as you had mentioned before. The spawn in the Underdark are... shall we say, less in control of their impulses than you are."

The anger flares back up in his eyes, and his mouth sets in a hard line, but it's anger born from concern.

“Let me get this straight,” he pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “you, quite willingly, wandered into a den of 7000 feral vampire spawn? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is!?” His voice is raised, harbouring a sharp edge.

You square off with him, standing tall, anger pulling at you.

Why does everyone think I can’t take care of myself? Make my own decisions?

You scoff at him disapprovingly, “I was well aware of the risks, Astarion.” you cross your arms over your body, “I would do it again and again and again, indefinitely, if I thought I had even a slim chance of finding you.”

He scoffs back at you. His eyes squeeze shut as he reins in his anger. When he opens them again, his face is softer, with a hint of sadness tugging the edges of his brows downward.

“Gods, you’re stubborn, as you always were.”

He reaches for your arm again, stretching it out and places gentle kisses on every scarred bite before pulling you into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry.”

You hug him back, happy to be in his arms again, “It’s okay.”

A lie. It’s not okay. You haven’t recovered from the first time he left, and now you were setting yourself up for another grand disappearance.

Will I ever recover?

Astarion’s scarlet eyes harbour cavernous regret as they linger over your scarred flesh.

“I should probably tell Gale that you’re back… If you plan on staying in Waterdeep, that is.”

Please don’t leave.

“I’m not going anywhere, darling. Unless… unless you tell me to leave, of course.”

“Then, he needs to know. I can’t keep this from him forever.”

You don’t want to tell Gale. He and Astarion had a tumultuous friendship at the best of times, and that was before Astarion abandoned you in the dead of night.

He sighs, “Allow me to come with you.”

“You want to come with me?”

He groans, “I don’t relish the idea, but you should not have to bear this alone.”

You hesitate, knowing this is probably not a good idea, “You really don’t have to. I can manage this.”

“Beautiful, I have no doubt you can manage it, but alas, if we must tell him, the least I can do is be there for him to scowl at.”

Having Astarion there could make things easier or exponentially worse. It was a coin toss to know which though.

“Fine. You can come, but don’t expect a warm welcome.”

“Hm,” he snickers, “has the wizard lost all of his decorum?”

You give him a disapproving glower.

“I guess I should probably get dressed then.”

You look him up and down, relishing in that glorious view, “Oh, I don’t know. I rather enjoy you like this.”

He chuckles, “Well, darling, we can certainly arrange more… viewings. Although, I do wonder if this is something friends do. It has been such a very long time since I’ve had a friend.”

You realize he’s referring to the fact that you told him you could be his friend but nothing more. Yet you had come crawling into his bed, nearly naked and completely unannounced.

“I suppose that depends on the kind of friends we are.”

“Oh, there is more than one kind of friend? Well, tell me, do you and Gale fraternize in nothing but your undergarments?”

Your eyebrows raise as you redden, embarrassment heating your face, “Gods, no!”

You can barely get the words out fast enough, and they jumble out of your mouth chaotically.

“I thought not. We must be special friends indeed.”

The walk back to the manor is relatively silent as you try to work out what in the Nine Hells to say, how to explain this, and why you hid it.

Upon entering, the foyer is dimly lit, with only a few candles burning. Gale is nowhere to be seen, but Tara notices you and hops down from her resting place.

“Good evening, Tara. Where is Gale?”

“Mr. Dekarios is in the library, pacing about. That oaf forgot to give me my milk tonight!”

You giggle at her vexation. She did hate it when she didn’t get milk. Spoiled little thing she was.

Tara glances behind you, eyeing Astarion wearily.

“I remember you, vampire. Keep your distance.” Tara’s back arches slightly.

Astarion cocks an eyebrow at her and then looks at you, “Charming creature, isn’t she?”

You shake your head. He probably thought of her as an amusing snack.

“I’ll tell you what. If you tell Gale I need to speak with him in the kitchen, I’ll get your milk ready.”

“You will warm it?”

You nod to her, “Of course, just the way you like it.”

“Fine. I will fetch Mr. Dekarios. Be warned, he is in a foul mood.”

With that, she hops off, bounding up the flights of stairs.

Astarion sighs dramatically behind you, “Great. A dour wizard.”

You walk further down the hallway before you hear Astarion’s voice ring out.

“Darling! Are you forgetting something?”

You look at him puzzled for a second, before the realization strikes you.

Right. He needs to be invited in. Does it even work if this isn’t my house?

“Sorry… Wait, can I invite you in, or does it have to be the owner of the house? How does it work?”

It was never something you two discussed in much detail since it had never been an issue before when you were infected with the tadpole.

He looks at the doorway, and his eyebrows furrow, “Shall we find out?”

“Come in, Astarion.”

He takes a tentative step into the foyer and smiles, nodding, before following you down the long hallway.

Astarion sits in one of the lavish chairs, unimpressed, “So, you warm milk now for cats?”

“Tressym.” You correct him.

“Cat with wings.”

“Say it with me, Astarion. T-ress-ym.”

He rolls his eyes at you and looks out the window overlooking the bay, “Quite the view.”

You hear Gale’s footsteps bounding down the stairs at a breakneck pace before you see him.

“You’re back. I was worried. I wanted to apolo-.” Gale’s voice cuts off as his eyes fall on Astarion, stupefied.

“Astarion?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Gale.”

Gale looks between you and Astarion, bewildered. Tara trots out happily from behind Gale as you lower her bowl of warm milk to the ground.

Gale shakes his head and plants his hands on the back of a chair as if to steady himself, “It makes so much sense now.”

His expression is nearly unreadable, pointing to Astarion, “When did this happen?”

“About a week ago, give or take a few days.”

“And you didn’t tell me!”

“I needed time to figure out what it meant, Gale. How I felt about it without external influences biasing my judgement.”

Gale eyes you warily. He would have tried to talk you out of ever going to meet with Astarion in the first place.

“And you, Astarion, what are you doing here?”

Astarion is calm and collected, just staring out the window, not at all perturbed by Gale’s harsh tone, “Looking for her, of course.”

“And now that you’ve found her? Are you planning to stay, or are you just going to run off again?”

Astarion’s eyes narrow, and his jaw tenses at the accusation, “I’m not going anywhere. Not unless she tells me to.”

Gale looks to you for answers.

“I’m not telling him to leave, Gale. If that’s what you’re wondering.”

Gale shakes his head disapprovingly and rubs his face with his hand.

“Astarion, do you have any idea what you put her through? What state she was in when she arrived here?”

A mixture of embarrassment and anger floods you. You had been in rough shape when you showed up here - thin, injured, and haunted. Gale had supported you, fed you, and housed you, allowing you to regain your strength.

“Gale, enough!”

You shout at him a little louder and harsher than you mean to. There were some things Astarion didn’t need to know, and Gale was about to spill it all.

I am going to have to answer for this later.

Astarion’s eyes narrow, “I have a feeling you were about to tell me, Gale. What state was she in?”

You scowl at Gale as his mouth opens, and he immediately snaps it shut again. This information wasn’t his to tell.

“That’s up to her to tell if she chooses to do so.”

Astarion caught the critical glare you shot Gale, effectively shutting him up. It was a feat you were relatively proud of. Not many people could shut Gale up with a look.

“Is that so?” Astarion’s crimson eyes are on you.

Yup, I am definitely going to have to answer for this later.

Gale throws up his arms in defeat, “Well, my friend, if you’re planning to stay in Waterdeep long term, then I think it best if you stay here, in the manor.”

Astarion’s eyes widen, and he laughs loudly, “Thank you for the offer, but I will have to decline.”

“The citizens of Waterdeep aren’t stupid, Astarion. Someone will notice your… nocturnal habits and eventually piece together what you are. It’s not safe for you to stay wherever it is that you are currently residing. I assume a cheap tavern.”

Astarion scoffs, “It’s not cheap.”

Gale rolls his eyes, “Be reasonable, my friend. The last thing she needs is for you to land yourself in a pile of trouble, where she needs to bail you out… again. I can have heavy curtains installed on the windows posthaste.”

Astarion thumb comes to his chin in his usual “I’m thinking” manner before abruptly turning to you, “And what do you think of this… proposition, friend.”

The way he says “friend” is almost seductive. Astarion always did have a way with words and could make almost anything sound as if he were making love to your ears with his voice.

This is a bad idea.

You, Gale and Astarion living in the same place is begging for trouble. Gale had feelings for you once upon a time. You had tried your best to be gentle with your rebuff of his advances, but he had been hurt that you chose the man who admitted to manipulating you over him. Whether those feelings were still alive and well was a mystery to you.

Regardless, Gale was correct here. Astarion staying at an inn was a bad idea. Someone would notice his peculiar schedule and eventually put 2 and 2 together.

You sigh, “Gale is right. You’ve already made quite the impression on the innkeeper from what I gathered from speaking with her. It would be smart for you to stay with people who know about your… predilections.”

He chuckles at you, “That is one word for it, I suppose.”

Astarion runs his fingers through his hair, sighing.

“Well, it appears I have been out-voted. I humbly accept your most generous offer, Gale.” He says in a pompous tone, “It will be like old times, but with exceptionally better lodging by the looks of it.”

You have to hold yourself back from groaning out loud. You wanted to keep Astarion close, but this close?

“Excellent! I shall have the room amended for your particular needs immediately. You should be all set to move here tomorrow night.”

Astarion groans, “Lovely.”

Astarion leaves the manor close to dawn. You retire to your room, hoping to get some rest, but rest is not for you. You toss and turn in your bed, missing Astarion and the comfort his presence provides. Eventually, you give up and move to the terrace to watch the sunrise.

Tara comes to curl up in your lap, and you’re thankful for her company.

“You sleep much less than the other humans I know.”

You gently glide your hand down the soft fur of her back, eliciting a pleasant rumbling purr, “You are quite astute, Tara.”

“I am.” She agrees confidently.

“I have a lot on my mind. Sometimes I can’t get it to rest.”

“Hm,” she thinks for a second, “have you tried warm milk?”

You giggle at her. Warm milk was Tara’s cure for every ailment.

“Is it the vampire that keeps you up?”

She really was astute, smarter than most of the people you’ve met in your life.

“Yes.”

There’s no point in lying to her. She would take your secrets to her grave as she would Gale’s.

“You care for him, yes?”

She eyes you with those large green eyes, the first light of dawn dancing over them.

“Very much so.”

She cocks her head, “And this is a problem for you?”

“I’m not sure I would classify it as a problem exactly. He means well, but he hurt me gravely not long ago. I fear he will do it again.”

“I see. Why do humans fear that which has yet to happen?”

Good fucking question.

“Hm, you know how you avoid sleeping in walkways or being too close to someone walking because you’ve had your tail stepped on before, and it was painful?”

“I do.” She nods her understanding.

“It’s kind of like that, I suppose. We anticipate pain we have already experienced and try to avoid it.”

“Hmmm,” she thinks long and hard, “I’m not sure I understand. I do avoid you humans when you’re walking about. You can be so clumsy with your feet, but I do not lay awake at night fearing it will happen.”

Damn fucking cat… Damn it, Astarion! Tressym.

She was right.

Why am I anticipating pain that has yet to come or may never come at all?

It was a pointless endeavour. Its only use was torturing yourself further. Yet here you were, every night, torturing yourself.

“You’re smarter than I, Tara.”

“I know.”

You laugh at her utter conviction and watch the sun rise above the horizon, casting a brilliant yellow reflection over the water’s smooth surface.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You sense a note of hurt in Gale’s voice, and your heart drops into your stomach. He was your friend, and you had intentionally kept this from him.

“I should have. I don’t have a good excuse.”

“Yes, you should have. We could have talked about it.” He scolds you.

I guess I deserve that.

“Therein lies the problem, Gale. I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, I could have at least provided some comfort. Gods know nothing can make you talk when you don’t want to.” He scoffs, annoyed, “What colour do you think the drapes should be in Astarion’s room?”

You shake your head at him, “Honestly, no matter what colour you pick, he’s going to complain about it.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you picked them out when he does.”

Laughing, “Be my guest. If you’re lucky, he might believe you.”

He won’t.

“As long as they block out all sunlight, I’m sure he will live.”

Gale’s hand comes to his chin, and he looks around, assessing the surroundings, “I suppose I should adorn most of the manor with these heavy drapes. I wouldn’t want him to feel confined to his room all day.”

Despite the often-sour animosity infecting their friendship, Gale truly does care for Astarion, and it shows plainly. Although, you weren’t so sure about Astarion’s true feelings on the subject. He could be impossible to read, even to you who knew him better than anyone.

“That’s nice of you, Gale, but I doubt he expects that.”

Gale continues looking around, evaluating the rooms, probably working out how to cover the large stained-glass windows, “Well, you lived with him. What did he do during the day?”

Your mind wanders back to the time you and Astarion shared loggings in your little house.

What did we do during the day?

You can feel yourself flush with the memories. Heat rises to your face, turning you red.

“Perhaps, I don’t want to know.”

The embarrassment only deepens at Gale’s obvious notice of your hesitancy, and you blurt out things in a rush to fill the awkward silence, “He mostly sleeps, reads or fusses over his clothing.”

Gale nods, “I’ll have drapes hung in the library then.”

Gods below.

You excuse yourself, desperate to get away from the awkward mess the conversation has become. You spend the day fretting over useless things just to get your mind off the fact that you will once again share space with Astarion.

Why does it make me… nervous?

You have shared much more than space with that toxically handsome man, yet the prospect of living with Astarion again made your stomach flip around in your abdomen uncomfortably.

Night falls over the city, slowly blanketing it in dim silvery moonlight.

“Should we go fetch him?”

You don’t get a chance to answer Gale before you both hear the knock, heads snapping towards the sound. Gale opens the door, and Astarion is waiting with a small pack slung over his shoulder.

“Darling! I’m home!” He announces in a cheerful, albeit fake, voice that rings with sarcasm.

“Where are the rest of your belongings?” Gale eyes the little pack, glancing around Astarion to see if he’s brought anything else.

“Waterdeep is quite the trek. I had to travel light.”

Gale’s eyes widen, “You NEVER travelled this light before. You always had us hauling around that damn mirror!”

You nearly snort, making the sip of tea you just drank shoot out of your nose.

The mirror. How could I forget?

Astarion always lugged around that clunky, gold-rimmed mirror he loved so much. It had been a pain in the ass to travel with, and almost everyone complained about it at one point or another, not understanding the point of carrying around a heavy mirror he couldn’t even see his reflection in.

It has been one of his most precious possessions, and it was one of the things he had left behind when he left you.

Astarion’s crimson eyes find yours knowingly, “Careful, darling. Don’t choke.”

His eyes return to Gale, “I have relinquished unnecessary sentimental attachments.”

“Certainly convenient timing.”

“What can I say? I’ve grown as a person.”

Gale groans.

This is off to a wonderful start. They are already annoying each other.

“Are you going to make me stand out here all night? Where ever did your manners go, Gale?”

“You’ve already been invited inside, or do you need to be invited in every time?”

Astarion chuckles taking a step into the entryway, “I was being polite.”

“I will show you to your room.”

You follow Gale and Astarion up the stairs. Gale had chosen which room Astarion would stay in, and it just so happened to be the furthest room from yours. He had touted that it was the room that got the least amount of direct sunlight, but you weren’t so sure that was the real reason.

“So, tell me, Astarion, what kind of trouble have you been getting into the last couple of years?”

Your heart slams against your ribs. Naturally, you have wondered the same but refrained from asking because you aren’t sure you truly want to know the answer.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would actually.” Gale’s tone is icy and confrontational.

He’s trying to spur on Astarion.

You stare at Gale with a skeptical look, but he is too busy glaring keenly at Astarion to notice. You had never known him to incite arguments. He was more likely to try and stop them before they started than to actually go searching for one.

Odd.

Astarion stares back at Gale with an easy, relaxed smile. He won’t be so easily enticed into an argument, “You know me, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.”

You know that’s all the information he will divulge. He’s being intentionally vague, giving nothing away.

“This room is yours.”

Astarion walks in, looks around and whistles before smirking, “Nice curtains.”

On cue, Gale points to you, “She picked them.”

Astarion’s eyebrow cocks up in a clever glance, “Oh, I don’t know about that. They scream dull wizard more than draconic sorceress.”

You laugh, and Gale groans loudly.

“She told me a little about what you like to do during the day.”

Astarion eyes you with an amused look, one that screams he’s about to say something he probably shouldn’t.

Don’t do it.

“Did she now?” His finger comes to his chin, and his eyebrow cocks handsomely, “I’m curious. What did she tell you I like to do during the day.”

You feel yourself redden again, and he stifles a laugh, knowing he managed to fluster you.

Ugh.

Gale looks at you with a furrowed brow but continues, gracefully skipping over the awkwardness, “She said you like to read, so I’ve had the library windows draped, as well as most of the lower floor so you can move around freely during the day. I’d stay away from the upper floors unless you would like to be a pile of ash.”

“Your generosity truly knows no bounds, Gale. Thank you.”

Gale laces his hands behind his back and bows shallowly, “You’re welcome, my friend. I shall leave you to get settled then. Make yourself at home.”

Gale strides away and disappears down the hall, muttering to himself under his breath. Your ears can’t pick up what he’s saying, but from the look on Astarion’s face, he definitely can.

“He’s certainly in a tizzy.” He chuckles.

“You goaded him, Astarion.”

His hand comes to his chest dramatically, “I did no such thing!” He mewls, “How should I know what you told him about what, or rather whom, I like to do during the day?”

You feel that familiar flush rush up to your face again.

This Gods damn man!

He snickers at you, “You’re too easy, darling.”

“You should be nicer to him. He did change his home to accommodate you, after all.”

He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “I never asked to stay here. I was perfectly content to stay at the inn.”

“It’s dangerous, Astarion.”

“Darling, I’ve spent two centuries learning how to blend in. I can take care of myself.”

You roll your eyes at him, “You couldn’t blend into a crowd if you tried.”

“Is that so? Care to tell me why not?”

He knew why. He was well aware that he turned heads everywhere he went. He thrived on the attention. It had often been a point of contention between you and him. There weren’t many places to go during the night, but you two would often go to the tavern for a drink to get out of the house, and he was constantly being fawned over.

People would “accidentally” bump into him, "trip” in front of him to elicit a response and all other manner of convoluted attempts to get his attention. The most exceedingly brazen individuals would simply try and push you out of the way or wedge themselves between you.

It didn’t phase him, of course. His eyes were always on you, and only you, but you had a fiery jealous streak, and no matter how well he disregarded all advances, it drove you crazy.

“You know why.”

He smiles devilishly, “Yes, but I do enjoy hearing you say it.”

“Goodnight, Astarion.”

“Goodnight, my dear.”

Your bedroom door closes with a quiet click, and you take deep breaths, trying to steady your frantically beating heart.

Why does he have this effect on me? He barely has to look at me before my heart is trying to leap out of my throat. Worse yet, he can hear it.

You curse your body for being so obvious to read. You’re an open book to him. All he has to do is listen to the racing of your heart, the hitching of your breath, or oftentimes, all of the above, and he will know what you are feeling.

Foolish, foolish woman.

Changing into your night clothes, you crawl into bed and fall into your trance fitfully.

Thank you to all those who read/like/comment/follow/reblog/etc. It really does brighten my day, and I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Small Notes:

- Thinking about giving Tav a name, and as I don't generally like to use "Tav" (feels too generic, but I suppose that's the point), it would be something else. I can understand that it might be a little jarring at this point in the story though, so let me know how you feel about the idea. Hate it? Love it? Don't care either way? Let me know!

- I promise we are going to start spicing things up soon, but expect a rather slow burn... if I can convince Tav to keep her pants on.

If you're interested, I also write a fanfic for Ascended Astarion x Spawn Tav - Fangs and Fractured Hearts

Chapter 1: Abandonment

AO3: [Crossposted]

#astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion x mc #bg3 #astarion smut #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion romance #astarion

160 notes · View notes

emotionsandphenomena · 2 months

Text

young adult, new adult, and fantasy fiction: the audience of a book is who reads it

title clumsily based on the purpose of a system is what it does.

before we begin, I want to focus a bit on defining our terms. young adult, new adult, adult, science fiction/fantasy, speculative fiction, contemporary romance - all of the terms I will use in this post are created by marketing companies and readers, and all of them have fuzzy and subjective applicability to any given book. there is no objectivity in cataloging, which is the lens through which I approach knowledge organization projects like this. there is no definitive answer to what any given book or genre "is", because these categories are not fixed values. instead, their values are expanded and developed by what gets placed in which category, by whom, and what criteria they base that decision on. that's what I want to discuss.

to provide some context: debates over age categories and who is reading what books for which age ranges currently dominate discussions among publishers, authors, librarians, and readers. ages of characters in YA are skewing up, sales are slowing down. young adult as a category has existed for 50+ years, but it is currently undergoing some growing pains. here's one more article for good measure. new adult is a term created by the publishing industry in 2009, which developed in fits and starts despite multiple bestselling authors publishing under the category. oh well. in 2015, sarah j mass published her new book, a court of thorns and roses, which is widely regarded as a turning point for the popularity of new adult (more on the classification of ACOTAR itself in a moment). NA stalled out for many years, but has recently very quickly grown in popularity, especially for romance readers on booktok. some of the most popular books listed under new adult on goodreads are colleen hoover's it ends with us and it starts with us, ali hazelwood's check & mate, and rebecca yarros' fourth wing.

I want to look at two of these currently very popular authors as case studies to really dig into what new adult has come to mean.

in this 2014 interview, SJM discusses her currently running throne of glass series and the upcoming release of ACOTAR in 2015. she notes that the book is intended for "a slightly older YA crowd (aka steamy times ahead!)". earlier in the interview, she dodges a question about whether throne of glass will be YA or NA by saying she appreciates her teen and adult readers - if I had to guess, the label was still too new and publishers didn't want to alienate anyone. in 2023, I can't find anything on her website or bookseller sites that specifically identify the series (or any of her series) as YA, NA, or adult. however, Goodreads (which relies on user generated tags and is, to put it lightly, a mess wrt information organization) firmly classes ACOTAR as YA - almost 9k tags in young-adult and ya (lack of authority control is just one aspect of the mess), as opposed to about 3.5k new-adult. the thing is, though, ACOTAR comes up in essentially every blog post and article I read on the definition of new adult. it is a flashpoint in the discussion: it either did or didn't restart the term, it is or isn't too sexually explicit to be classed for teens, the writing is filled with young adult tropes and this does or does not matter. the answers to these questions aren't particularly important to me, but it's very interesting to see how people are attempting to draw those boundaries. I took a quick census of how SJM's series are classed in my library system. her throne of glass series is uniformly shelved in YA; ACOTAR is mostly YA with a few copies in adult, and her newer crescent city series is mostly adult with a few copies in YA. I do think that any discussion of ACOTAR is partially colored by this divisive relationship to the new adult category itself, so I'd also like to bring in a much newer book facing similar conversation.

if you follow this blog you might already know that I have an entirely non-neutral relationship to ali hazelwood; I love her books both as books and as cultural objects deserving of study. previously, she published three adult romance novels and a set of adult romance novellas, which all fall firmly and inarguably into those defined categories, based on age range and content (I have an argument for the love hypothesis being a horror story, but that's a different conversation). last year, she published her newest book, check & mate, as a young adult romance. it was widely marketed as such by the young readers imprint at putnam. however, on reading it, I (and many goodreads commenters) were surprised to find that it aligned more with some hallmarks of new adult. the characters are out of high school, and the challenges and growth moments are more focused on evolution, rather than coming of age. one blog post I read made the argument that YA is about high school firsts and NA is about adulthood firsts. this is amorphous, partially because there is no real one life path into adulthood by which to judge this, so let's switch focus to something more concrete: sex. in each of Ali's adult novels, there are a few explicit sex scenes. they're not as explicit as other romance novels, but they're definitely not fade-to-black. in check & mate, characters have sex, but it happens entirely off-screen and any discussion is fairly chaste or, at most, relying heavily on implied content. this is a real disconnect to me. much of NA lit (ACOTAR included) is quite sexually explicit. among those most popular NA books on goodreads, there are many books that get marketed specifically for their sexual content (spicy🌶️ to the tiktokers, smut to everyone else). to me, this cements check & mate as a YA novel - if she was going to write a book with explicit sex, like her others, she could've. she's mentioned in interviews that her chess novel concept originally featured older characters, and she aged them down once she realized what kind of story she wanted to tell. to me, it is telling that moving from adult to YA creates more clumsy caution around the handling of sex, as opposed to SJM, whose books "aged" upwards over time.

another interesting example I've noticed in the emerging NA space is how the age category intersects with genre. YA as a category has a pretty expansive genre playing field - we've all read YA fantasy, contemporary romance, historical fiction, action/adventure, issue novels, etc. NA so far seems pretty exclusively limited to romance as a main focus, especially in the most popular offerings as discussed above.

I've seen many a tiktok alleging that despite the drawn out fight scenes, extensive lore, and huge interconnected web of characters, the ACOTAR books are not "real fantasy." even more so for the fourth wing books. I've seen these books compared to Tolkien, as if to say, well, if you didn't invent a language, you're not really on the same level. that's entirely unfair, imo - plenty of fantasy doesn't engage at that level. but there is a wide array of contemporary fantasy I do think we can contrast with ACOTAR and other popular NA series.

we've discussed some of the hallmarks of YA and NA as categories: the age range of characters, coming of age, explicit sex for NA. i'd add fast-paced, immersive writing, especially in first person or close third, because so much of the appeal described on booktok is a book sucking you in completely. now, i want to bring up a few books that, on the surface, might check several of these boxes: dune by frank herbert has an 18yo protagonist, and the first book is very much a coming of age story. eragon (christopher paolini) and the name of the wind (patrick rothfuss) focus on a young person coming into their magical abilities through school/mentorship, a similar setting to many YA series. mistborn (brandon sanderson) and game of thrones (george r.r. martin) both have prominent protagonists that are 18 or younger when the story starts. of all these series, only eragon has young-adult as its most popular age-related tag on goodreads, and eragon was, at the time of release, very specifically marketed to and shelved in young adult in bookstores and libraries. some of these books have explicit or non-explicit sexual content, but only GOT has even close to as much as your average NA novel (to my knowledge).

i am not alleging that any of these books should be classed as YA, necessarily. but the glaring difference in their marketing and readership does point to one thing: these books are largely about men, and they are all written by men. i am not the first person to point out this gender gap in fantasy writing, and i don't have anything particularly new to say about it, except to bring it back around to my original point. none of these novels "are" adult fiction, and plenty (plenty!) of teenagers read them, in an interesting reversal of the trends in YA. who is making the decisions about where these books go, and why? what can we draw out about the books and their marketing? how is the future of "adult fantasy" shaped when these are the benchmarks by which we measure new entries?

i did also look into a few of my own favorite sci-fi series by women to see how they ranked by similar parameters. parable of the sower by octavia butler, featuring an 18yo protagonist and sexual content, has no age category at all in the top 20 most popular goodreads tags. it's in adult fiction in every library in my system that owns a copy. ive seen gideon the ninth (18yo protag, and yeah lets go ahead and say explicit sexual content) on YA shelves in bookstores, but its adult tag on goodreads is more popular, and almost every library in my system has it in adult. in my opinion, these books are important in rejecting the "women write YA, men write adult" narrative around speculative fiction, but they're not necessarily an exception to a different trend. it is not difficult for me to think of more adult scifi/fantasy books by women, because i actively seek them out. however, almost every single one of them has a protagonist under 25, as is the case with so much of the adult fantasy written by men listed above. last year, i read the adventures of amina al-sirafi, by s.a. chakrabotry, which was (i believe) the first non-contemporary/realistic fiction book ive ever read with a middle aged mother as the main protagonist. the book club at my library branch, mainly composed of middle aged and older women, read it, and expressed such genuine joy and excitement over a fantastic, adventurous book featuring a woman they saw themselves in. representation really does matter, and it matters to everyone, not just young people. but that's a different soapbox.

young readers are extremely picky. i've watched many a teenager (or younger) browse the YA section and turn up their noses at books with a cringey cover, an overly dramatic blurb, or just because. marketing books to teens is hard. booktok is an incredibly powerful marketing tool and divisive social force. it skyrockets an author one day and by the next week, other accounts are tearing that same author to shreds. in this environment, its no surprise that the sensationalized books - extremely good or extremely bad, blatantly sexual, shocking, consumable - become flashpoints of discussion. who should be reading ya? who is it for? what is inappropriate for young teenagers to read? what is inappropriate for adults to read? i think about these topics a lot, especially as what the publishing industry terms a "gatekeeper" - i'm a children's librarian; i control the access teenagers in my community have to these books. i take that role seriously, and i want to be thinking deeply about the books i put in my YA section and who will read them. our decisions, about where we class books, how we label and present them, how we discuss them: that is part of what dictates what genre and age classification a book "is", in addition to marketing.

#okay.... been working on this on and off for months but im finally fucking finishing and posting an essaY!!!!#2k words on genre classification lfggggg #please let me know what you think.... very open to thoughts esp from people who read these areas !!!!#ok to reblog btw :>#frames

103 notes · View notes

blueskittlesart · 13 days

Note

I've heard that while most people really really love BotW and TotK, some people hate those two for going open-world, and some people hate TotK specifically for something about the story. As the resident Zelda expert I know of, what do you think of those takes?

"something about the story" is a bit too vague for me to answer--if you look at my totk liveblog tag from back when the game was newly released or my general zelda analysis tag you may be able to find some of my in-depth thoughts about the story of totk, but in general i liked it.

the open world thing though is something i can and will talk about for hours. (I am obsessed with loz and game design and this is an essay now <3) breath of the wild is a game that was so well-received that a lot of the criticism from older fans who were expecting something closer to the classic zelda formula was just kind of immediately drowned out and ignored, and while i don't think it's a valid criticism to suggest that botw strayed too far from its origins in going open-world, i am more than willing to look into those criticisms, why they exist, and why i think going open-world was ultimately the best decision botw devs could have made. (totk is a slightly different story, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

Loz is a franchise with a ton of history and a ton of really, REALLY dedicated fans. it's probably second only to mario in terms of recognizability and impact in nintendo's catalog. To us younger fans, the older games can sometimes seem, like, prehistoric when compared to what we're used to nowadays, but it's important to remember just how YOUNG the gaming industry is and how rapidly it's changed and grown. the first zelda game was released in 1986, which was 31 years before botw came out in 2017. What this means for nintendo and its developers is that they have to walk a very fine line between catering to older fans in their 30s and 40s now who would have been in nintendo's prime demographic when the first few games in the franchise were coming out AND making a game that's engaging to their MODERN target demographic and that age group's expectations for what a gaming experience should look like.

LOZ is in kind of a tough spot when it comes to modernizing, because a lot of its core gameplay elements are very much staples of early RPGs, and a lot of those gameplay elements have been phased out of modern RPGs for one reason or another. gathering collectibles, fighting one's way through multilevel, mapless dungeons, and especially classic zelda's relative lack of guidance through the story are all things that date games and which modern audiences tend to get frustrated with. for the last few releases before botw, the devs had kind of been playing with this -- skyward sword in particular is what i consider their big experiment and what (i think) became the driving force behind a lot of what happened with botw. Skyward sword attempted to solve the issues I listed by, basically, making the map small and the story much, much more blatantly linear. Skyward sword feels much more like other modern rpgs to me than most zelda games in terms of its playstyle, because the game is constantly pushing you to do specific things. this is a common storytelling style in modern RPGs--obviously, the player usually needs to take specific actions in order to progress the story, and so when there's downtime between story sections the supporting characters push the player towards the next goal. but this actually isn't what loz games usually do. in the standard loz formula, you as the player are generally directly given at most 4 objectives. these objectives will (roughly) be as follows: 1. go through some dungeons and defeat their bosses, 2. claim the master sword, 3. go through another set of dungeons and defeat their bosses, 4. defeat the final boss of the game. (not necessarily in that order, although that order is the standard formula.) the ONLY time the player will be expressly pushed by supporting characters towards a certain action (excluding guide characters) is when the game is first presenting them with those objectives. in-between dungeons and other gameplay segments, there's no sense of urgency, no one pushing you onto the next task. this method of storytelling encourages players to take their time and explore the world they're in, which in turn helps them find the collectibles and puzzles traditionally hidden around the map that will make it easier for them to continue on. Skyward sword, as previously mentioned, experimented with breaking this formula a bit--its overworld was small and unlocked sequentially, so you couldn't explore it fully without progressing the narrative, and it gave players a "home base" to return to in skyloft which housed many of the puzzles and collectibles rather than scattering them throughout the overworld. This method worked... to an extent, but it also meant that skyward sword felt drastically different in its storytelling and how its narrative was presented to the player than its predecessors. this isn't necessarily a BAD thing, but i am of the opinion that one of zelda's strongest elements has always been the level of immersion and relatability its stories have, and the constant push to continue the narrative has the potential to pull players out of your story a bit, making skyward sword slightly less engaging to the viewer than other games in the franchise. (to address the elephant in the room, there were also obviously some other major issues with the design of sksw that messed with player immersion, but imo even if the control scheme had been perfect on the first try, the hyperlinear method would STILL have been less engaging to a player than the standard exploration-based zeldas.)

So when people say that botw was the first open-world zelda, I'm not actually sure how true I personally believe that is. I think a lot of the initial hype surrounding botw's open map were tainted by what came before it--compared to the truly linear, intensely restricted map of skyward sword, botw's map feels INSANE. but strictly speaking, botw actually sticks pretty closely to the standard zelda gameplay experience, at least as far as the overworld map is concerned. from the beginning, one of the draws of loz is that there's a large, populated map that you as the player can explore (relatively) freely. it was UNUSUAL for the player to not have access to almost the entire map either immediately or very quickly after beginning a new zelda game. (the size and population of these maps was restricted by software and storage capabilities in earlier games, but pretty muhc every zelda game has what would have been considered a large & well populated map at the time of its release.) what truly made botw different was two things; the first being the sheer SIZE of the map and the second being the lack of dungeons and collectibles in a traditional sense. Everything that needs to be said about the size of the map already has been said: it's huge and it's crazy and it's executed PERFECTLY and it's never been done before and every game since has been trying to replicate it. nothing much else to say there. but I do want to talk about the percieved difference in gameplay as it relates to the open-world collectibles and dungeons, because, again, i don't think it's actually as big of a difference as people seem to think it is.

Once again, let's look at the classic formula. I'm going to start with the collectibles and lead into the dungeons. The main classic collectible that's a staple of every zelda game pre-botw is the heart piece. This is a quarter of a heart that will usually be sitting out somewhere in the open world or in a dungeon, and will require the player to either solve a puzzle or perform a specific action to get. botw is the first game to not include heart pieces... TECHNICALLY. but in practice, they're still there, just renamed. they're spirit orbs now, and rather than being hidden in puzzles within the overworld (with no explanation as to how or why they ended up there, mind you) they're hidden within shrines, and they're given a clear purpose for existing throughout hyrule and for requiring puzzle-solving skills to access. Functionally, these two items are exactly the same--it's an object that gives you an extra heart container once you collect four of them. no major difference beyond a reskin and renaming to make the object make sense within the greater world instead of just having a little ❤️ floating randomly in the middle of their otherwise hyperrealistic scenery. the heart piece vs spirit orb i think is a good microcosm of the "it's too different" criticisms of botw as a whole--is it ACTUALLY that different, or is it just repackaged in a way that doesn't make it immediately obvious what you're looking at anymore? I think it's worth noting that botw gives a narrative reason for that visual/linguistic disconnect from other games, too--it's set at minimum TEN THOUSAND YEARS after any other given game. while we don't have any concrete information about how much time passes between new-incarnation games, it's safe to assume that botw is significantly further removed from other incarnations of hyrule/link/zelda/etc than any other game on the timeline. It's not at all inconceivable within the context of the game that heart pieces may have changed form or come to be known by a different name. most of the changes between botw and other games can be reasoned away this way, because most of them have SOME obvious origins in a previous game mechanic, it's just been updated for botw's specific setting and narrative.

The dungeons ARE an actual departure from the classic formula, i will grant you. the usual way a zelda dungeon works is that link enters the dungeon, solves a few puzzles, fights a mini boss at about the halfway point, and after defeating the mini boss he gets a dungeon item which makes the second half of the dungeon accessible. He then uses that item in the dungeon's final boss fight, which is specifically engineered with that item in mind as the catalyst to win it. Botw's dungeons are the divine beasts. we've removed the presence of mini-bosses entirely, because the 'dungeon items' aren't something link needs to get within the dungeon itself--he alredy has them. they're the sheikah slate runes: magnesis, cryonis, stasis, and remote bombs. Each of the divine beast blight battles is actually built around using one of these runes to win it--cryonis to break waterblight's ice projectiles, magnesis to strike down thunderblight with its own lightning rods, remote bombs to take out fireblight's shield. (i ASSUME there's some way to use stasis effectively against windblight, mostly because it's obvious to me that that's how all the other fights were designed, but in practice it's the best strategy for that fight is to just slow down time via aerial archery, so i've never tried to win that way lol.) So even though we've removed traditional dungeon items and mini-boss fights, the bones of the franchise remain unchanged underneath. this is what makes botw such an ingenious move for this franchise imo; the fact that it manages to update itself into such a beautiful, engaging, MODERN game while still retaining the underlying structure that defines its franchise and the games that came before it. botw is an effective modern installment to this 30-year-old franchise because it takes what made the old games great and updates it in a way that still stays true to the core of the franchise.

I did mention totk in my opening paragraph and you mention it in your ask so i have to come back to it somehow. Do i think that totk did the gigantic-open-world thing as well as botw did? no. But i also don't really think there was any other direction to go with that game specifically. botw literally changed the landscape of game development when it was released. I KNOW you all remember how for a good year or two after botw's release, EVERY SINGLE GAME that came out HAD to have a massive open-world map, regardless of whether or not that actually made sense for that game. (pokemon is still suffering from the effects of that botw-driven open world craze to this day. rip scarlet/violet your gameplay was SUCH dogshit) I'm not sure to what degree nintendo and the botw devs anticipated that success, (I remember the open world and the versatility in terms of problem-solving being the two main advertising angles pre-release, but it's been 7 years. oh jesus christ it's been SEVEN YEARS. anyways) but in any case, there's basically NO WAY that they anticipated their specific gameplay style taking off to that degree. That's not something you can predict. When creating totk, they were once again walking that line between old and new, but because they were only 3ish years out from botw when totk went into development, they were REALLY under pressure to stay true to what it was that had made botw such an insane success. I think that's probably what led to the expanded map in the sky and depths as well as the fuse/build mechanics--they basically took their two big draws from botw, big map and versatility, and said ok BIGGER MAP and MORE VERSATILITY. Was this effective? yeah. do i think they maybe could have made a more engaging and well-rounded game if they'd been willing to diverge a little more from botw? also yeah. I won't say that I wanted totk to be skyward sword-style linear, because literally no one wanted that, but I do think that because of the insane wave of success that botw's huge open world brought in the developers were under pressure to stay very true to botw in their designing the gameplay of totk, and I think that both the gameplay and story might have been a bit more engaging if they had been allowed to experiment a little more in their delivery of the material.

#wow it's been a while since i've written a real homegrown organic legend of zelda essay. i missed this #hi everyone. when the fuck is the next game going into development i need to have something to wildly theorize about again #god. it's been. seven years since botw came out. im going to go chew on live electrical wires #zelda analysis #asks

102 notes · View notes

svsss-fanon-exposed · 5 months

Text

Welcome!

This is your official-unofficial source for all things SVSSS fanon-debunking! As a veteran reader of MXTX's least popular novel and someone with a PhD in SVSSS literature, I have taken on the arduous task of separating fact from fiction... or well, specifically, canon from fanon.

《 Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog is textual analysis, not to tell people what fanon or canon material to use or not to use in their fanworks, or to make moral judgments on the way people interpret the text. Please see my faq and psa tags for more about my views on the matter. 》

There is a significant affliction within this fandom, where fanon ideas are assumed to be canonical facts-- to the point where sometimes fanon will even end up on the official SVSSS wiki 😱😱😱!!!

I've met quite a lot of people who are surprised to find out that something they think is canon is actually fanon, and even a few that are the other way around, so I've decided to start this blog to help people sort it out!

My credentials and qualifications are as follows:

PhD in SVSSS literature (awarded to me by a disgruntled SJ apologist).

A good minimum of 50-75% of available brain-space devoted to SVSSS at all times

Consummate knowledge of minute lore details

Near-memorization of a good portion of the novel, with the added ability to find any quote within 10 minutes of searching (in both EN and CN)

Author of a fic that is currently over 300k words long and counting, which was originally written out of spite for fanon portrayals of certain characters and themes

The ability to write 5k+ rants about any given topic in the space of an afternoon

--------------------

How this blog works:

You, dear reader, send in a suspected fanon topic to my askbox. Or perhaps it's something you suspect to be canon, but would like confirmation on.

I will then write a post on this topic (on no set schedule, I go as the wind takes me~), first applying a rating (more details below), then adding further information as needed. Topics with either support or rebuttal in canon will have quoted evidence presented, those without either of those things will simply have a brief explanation.

I will also add some analysis or potential interpretations and readings but I will do my best not to add my pure opinions to these posts-- this blog is about textual evidence! So, do not reblog my posts to argue with me based on your headcanons! If you want to argue against one of my posts, provide a quoted source from the novel!

Otherwise, I will most likely block you :>

Any hateful content or attempts to start fandom wank on my posts or in my inbox will get deleted and blocked. Anyone who provides textual evidence that changes my rating or analysis will be very much appreciated and receive the Golden Cucumber Award.

At the end of the day, this blog is entirely about canonical textual analysis and has no bearing whatsoever on what people want to headcanon or use in their fics. It's fandom. Do Whatever You Want Forever. Who am I to say you can't use a certain headcanon?

Just please treat headcanons as headcanons. No matter how deeply-entrenched into fanon they may be, they're still not canon and shouldn't be treated as such.

If you're of the mind that you'll still do whatever you want without regards for canon, then you're probably not the intended audience for this blog. If you're someone who wants to clarify whether a popular idea has a basis in canon or not, then read on to learn more about the rating system and see already-discussed topics!

--------------------

Rating System

WHAT DO I CONSIDER CANON? (please read before commenting)

Each exposed fanon or canon will receive a rating and analysis. The ratings are interpreted as follows:

CANON - This fact is directly or indirectly supported by the text! If you want to stay true to canon, this should be treated as fact.

FANON - SUPPORTED - Though the text doesn't directly state this is true, it is a very likely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.

FANON - NEUTRAL - The text neither confirms or denies this. It may be true or it may be false, and the matter is entirely up for interpretation. Many fanon will likely fall into this category, and whether you adopt it or not won't affect how true to canon your interpretations are.

FANON - UNSUPPORTED - While the text may not be directly against this headcanon, it is still an unlikely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.

FANON - CONFLICTING - The text goes directly against this interpretation, and there are quotes that prove it to be incorrect. If you wish to stay true to canon, it's best not to include this idea.

--------------------

Awards:

I will give out three awards on this blog for those who assist me in keeping fanon and canon separate!

The Bronze Cucumber Award will be given to anyone who reblogs my post and adds significant additional context in support of/explaining my analysis. This may be textual context or "support" context (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes/etc.). Since this fandom likes to analyze, I will only be giving out this award to those who specifically add details and ideas that are not rooted in my original analysis (such as, a quote from a completely different part of the book, or a linguistic explanation that provides context), rather than those who simply expand on what I already wrote.

The Silver Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my analysis posts with a source telling the origin of a particular fanon idea. This is wonderful for archival purposes-- just as it's good to see where canon ideas come from, it can also be helpful to know where a fanon idea originated, in order to have proper context. Only the first responder to provide a fanon origin will receive the award (so that this blog doesn't get too clogged up).

The Golden Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my posts with a debunking of my analysis-- as long as they provide directly-quoted evidence that disproves my points. This evidence should be based on the text of the novel itself, and I should be able to look it up in my own copy. I will be more selective with giving out golden cucumbers to reblogs that debunk on the basis of "support" elements (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes, etc.) because many of those topics can be somewhat subjective.

--------------------

Previously-Tackled Concepts

(See below the cut for a full list)

CANON

CQMS Twelve Peaks' have Color-Coded Uniforms

Shen Yuan has a Younger Sister

Mobei-jun has Blue Eyes

Shen Yuan is a Monster Nerd

Airplane was a Child of Divorced Parents

Ning Yingying is Younger than Luo Binghe

FANON - SUPPORTED

Shen Jiu Only Goes to Brothels to Sleep, Not to Have Sex

Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua Eventually Get Married

FANON - NEUTRAL

Shen Qingqiu is Banned from Xian Shu Peak

Shen Qingqiu Wears a Cinnabar Mark on his Forehead

Shen Yuan Wore Glasses in his Previous Life

FANON - UNSUPPORTED

Shen Yuan was Chronically/Terminally Ill in his First Life

Shen Yuan was a Socially Awkward, Introverted Shut-In By Nature

Luo Binghe has Curly Hair

Aphrodisiac-Producing Plants are an Ever-Present Danger in the World of PIDW

FANON - CONFLICTING

Ming Fan was Head Disciple of Qing Jing Peak

Luo Binghe Received Both Scars from the Abyss Scene

Qiu Haitang has More than One Older Brother

Shen Qingqiu has Green Eyes

All Demons Naturally have Forehead Marks

Luo Binghe has a "Stereotypically Masculine" Appearance

Xuan Su is a Large, Broad, Imposing-Looking Sword

Shen Yuan's Original Body Closely Resembled Shen Qingqiu's

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were Meant to End Up Together in the Original Draft of PIDW

CANON EXAMINED

Shen Yuan's PIDW-Reading Timeline

Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Hierarchy (tag)

The Pre-Canon Timeline and Character Ages

#svsss #scum villain self saving system #svsss fanon #svsss meta #pinned

143 notes · View notes

bloopitynoot · 8 months

Text

3 Shadowgast fics that made me ugly cry

Okay so I read a LOT of shadowgast fanfics and I wanted to share some of the ones that made me absolutely weep. (I was going to wait until tomorrow but I got too excited to share).

All of these have some intense emotional distress, but I promise you all they may be angsty but they absolutely have happy endings.

They are all set in very different AU's, are hefty completed fics, and have similar feels!

1. the breathe before the phrase

(171513 words) by @kmackatie Chapters: 20/20 Rating: Explicit Summary: The ringing note of a concert A is played by the oboe, echoing on its own in the space. It’s picked up by the wind section, followed rapidly by the brass, and the familiar feeling of an orchestra calibrating takes over Caleb. The tonal adjustments as each person brings their instrument into alignment sinks into him and something inside Caleb shifts in recognition as Essek leads the strings into their own tuning. It’s like something is waking up, like something unfurling and firing across long-unused paths of memory. His hands shake slightly, as he raises his bow and joins them, fingers fumbling against the pegs and fine tuners that give him control over his instrument. ---- Essek Thelyss is a leading violinist, his spot as Shadowhand of the Rosohna Philharmonic Orchestra has been uncontested for over a decade. Caleb Widogast is a recent arrival to the city, convinced by his friends to audition for one of the vacant violinist positions. After starting off on the wrong foot, Caleb and Essek get to slowly know each other, discover what brings them joy, create while defying expectations, and find out that what they can produce together may just be better than anything they can do separately.

Why I cried: The amount of pressure put on Essek made my heart absolutely shatter. That plus the pinning between Caleb and Essek had me weeping. The hurt/comfort energy. The bad parent Dierta and of course past Caleb Ickythong trauma healing. Other than the story itself Katie has put so much energy into explaining the music, the playlist is stunning, and the inspiration for the played pieces in the fic are grounded in actual compositions. No spoilers, but the ending is gorgeous <3

2.Till Human Voices Wake us

(66080 words) by @ariadne-mouse Chapters: 23/23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Additional Tags: Merman!Caleb, no Mighty Nein but otherwise canon setting/events, Neutral evil Essek, Essek-typical anxiety and fatalism, Loneliness, Hurt/Comfort, spooky gothic vibes, some horror and disturbing imagery, the ocean as a threat/love language, Illustrations, drowning themes Summary: Essek Thelyss, lonely and ambitious prodigy, comes to Nicodranas to make a risky gamble with the Assembly. At the water’s edge, he finds himself swept up in another dangerous entanglement he can't seem to escape — and as time goes on, he's less and less sure he wants to. Will his treasonous alliance or the sea itself devour him first? (Or, the one where Caleb is a merman.)

Why I cried: okay so look, this story was so fucking sad I can't even begin to describe it. The love and longing between the two, the tragic backstory for Caleb. Treason = death for Essek (it's a happy ending though so do not worry, but I definitely worried so you don't have to LOL). It also has some stunning art in it!!!

3. what luminous worlds await

what luminous worlds await (178674 words) by @essektheylyss Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Champion of the Luxon AU, Alternate Universe - Future, Space Opera, Religious Conflict, religious trauma, Violence, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Dreams vs. Reality, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, Past Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Fictional Religion & Theology, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mention of Using Sex as Self-Harm, several immortals grapple with loss while trying to save the world, so so many liberties taken with consecution, this wouldn't be a problem if you'd EXPLAIN matthew mercer, and/or if a certain drow would give literally any straight answers, (I mean he can't give straight answers when he's not straight), Background Fjorester (Past), Post-Canon, …very post-canon Summary: “You seek my nature. It is a lonely endeavor. Would you like to join me on this path?” “Yes.” — After a thousand years, a divine champion awakes in a lightless cave above Port Damali with little memory to speak of and a beacon in his hands. Even as he struggles to piece the past together and process what he has lost while he slept, the future demands he answer for the crimes of his elders. It offers little in return, but perhaps there are fragments of possibility awaiting him.

Why I cried: Omg oh boy, this one made me BIG cry- honestly one of my favourite fics I have read so far. A true space opera, a story of love, in many forms, over time, space, and multiple lives. I sobbed from chapter one literally until the end. Though I think you will need an A03 account to read this one, but it is worth the wait to set one up. My partner watched me cry so much while I read this. I totally did download and save this fic to send to pals so they can cry with me. It is worth the agony for this happy ending. I might still be crying LOL

#for the shadowgast shippers #shadowgast #shadowgast recs #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #cr m9 #mighty nein #critical role #honestly some of them I sobbed while explaining the premise to my partner because I have a lot of feelings #these are all worth the length

210 notes · View notes

triflesandparsnips · 6 months

Text

Lot of takes going around the internets about certain "deaths" in the ofmd season finale, so, uh-- guess it's time for me to try and lose some followers on tumblr dot com with

Some Thoughts on Why I Am Not Particularly Bothered or Concerned about Izzy's Apparent "Death"

Laying the groundwork first...

1. Narratively speaking, Izzy's been a dead man walking since the start of the season. Babe shot himself and got a rebirth-- but he still definitely intended to die. Every minute he was still around was borrowed time.

Did he have to die? Maybe not. I know I could've written a version of the show where he didn't. But then that would be my show-- not theirs. I can't know exactly what themes, bugbears, bête noires, catharsis, or artistic Vibes are driving that writers' room, and until the credits run on the finale of the third season, none of the rest of us can either.

2. Izzy spent the season being in a liminal state-- and there's nothing in the story saying that he can't continue doing that. Izzy spent the season having one foot in one space, one hoof in the other, and himself halfway through the door, a chimera of mirrored things right up to his "death": pirate and ship, hard and soft, old ways and new, etc etc. But "the gravy basket" is a weird little liminal space between life and death, a place that both Ed and Buttons have found (and returned from) before. We don't know where Izzy "is" right now-- he could be there.

(tbh, I wonder how much poor feeling we'd be having about all this if we'd gotten a final tag of a blue-washed Izzy staring down at a bowl of soup while helplessly saying "but this isn't gravy, what the fu--")

3. I think there is an unfortunate belief that "it's not real unless you see the body" is a universal -- or perhaps inarguable -- "fact" of storytelling. But it's not. It's just a bit of narrative shorthand that got popular, and now we're too ready to fall into the trap of believing the inverse is true too-- that if there is a body, then there must therefore have been a "real" death.

This season has spent quite a lot of narrative time and effort telling us that its story is using a different model, with different shorthands; specifically, that magic is real, that there is at least some kind of existence after death, and that the dead can be resurrected.

And that brings me to the meat of why I'm not particularly bothered or concerned about what, at this stage of the story, could still very well be just a minor setback--

4. This whole show, and particularly this season, is a fairy tale. It's a story that works with fairy tale logic and tropes, and it's in conversation with other fairy tales too, ones that the OFMD audience is likely to know well enough to spot their narrative beats in action. So "Pinocchio" gets mentioned a lot? Cool-- the audience applies what is commonly known of that story to this one ("a real boy", the mirror-opposite being a puppet with no nose, etc), and finds some Cool Shit. Then they're primed to keep looking for fairy tales, even unnamed ones, in case there's another little nugget of reward-dopamine for finding a connection.

So the fact that we saw a mermaid? Suddenly, I personally am noticing "Little Mermaid" motifs all over the place. That Ed was in a "sleep like death" -- after fucking around with a spinning wheel -- until his prince came to wake him? Well fuck, man, that's Blackbeard playing "Sleeping Beauty" for us all.

And bringing it all back to a "dead" Izzy Hands... when I add up a "dead" body surrounded by a bunch of laborers mourning the person who nominally kept their living space nice AND who was wanted dead by an authority figure for the crime of being the "better" version of what that figure wanted to be...

...well fuck, idk about the rest of you, but to me that all adds up to Izzy's story being Snow fucking White. Waiting for someone to come pull the bullet poisoned apple from his body so he can live again.

5. This is a second season. Of three. And Izzy Hands is the writer's favorite chewtoy, so there is lots of time, space, and incentive to bring him back. If there's a third season, we have a pile of ways he could be brought back over the course of hours of literal viewing time and possibly months of in-narrative time. That's ages.

And the solutions don't have to be difficult! For instance, we still have canonical hallucinations from Stede-- that's one route. Or fuck it, we could have Izzy's (very solid-looking) ghost be the embodiment of their being haunted by the Sea, that would work too.

And even barring all that-- his grave is right there with our heroes. The ship is out there hunting down his murderer. Even if you're happy he's dead... bad news, friend. He's all over the third season landscape. (uh oh, it's GNU Izzy Hands)

But those are just a few options that leave his body rotting but his character still alive. I happen to think we could all dream a little bigger, darlings. For instance:

A. You cannot tell me that these writers, on this show, with these actors, would not absolutely go all in on a zombie-esque hand thrusting out of the dirt mere hours after burial. Look me in the eyes and tell me Con O'Neill wouldn't pull off an entire digging-out scene only to end with himself panting beside the hole, looking around, hearing Ed and Stede being weird in their haunted hut, and wearily say, "Are you fucking kidding me."

B. Don't like zombies? Want to stay closer to the Snow White vibe AND introduce a love interest for him? One hyphenated word: body-snatcher. Gotta dig those bodies up fresh for the Definitely Historically Accurate anatomists of the time! But oh, says this New Guy, this corpse is-- wow, it's weird that they buried him with a rose and really amazing makeup and a truly extraordinary number of whittled whales, plus what's with that horsey leg grave marker, this guy must've been fucking fascinating, man, I wish I could've met him-- --at which point Izzy's hand shoots out and chokes the guy half to death and the lads come tumbling out of the house and ta da, mission accomplished, Izzy resurrected in 5 minutes or less with his horsey leg conveniently beside him and an entire season for himself and everyone else to Deal With It, amazing, fantastic, no notes from me.

C. Come to think of it, there is genuinely a non-zero chance that the crew just. Fucked up the burial. I mean... even though I was just arguing why we shouldn't see it as Law, we didn't actually see the body. We saw a grave. What did they bury him in? Was it a box? Was it some canvas? Did they definitely pick up the right one when it was time to bury him? Or did they maybe carefully make him an ahistorical safety coffin just in case a cat demon came to bother him and his corpse wanted to make a fuss about it, y'know, very common, could happen to anyone, and Frenchie just so happens to have Blackbeard's old collar bell right here--

6. Here's the bottom line, imo: The only thing that would keep Izzy really actually dead and completely removed from the story is a lack of narrative time and space-- and we have plenty of both. Stories are like Lego. If you've got enough time and you're willing to play with pieces from a whole lotta different sets, it's not hard to put the same elements together in different ways to get new, exciting configurations. It's why I'm actually rubbish at predicting exact details of stuff-- there are a lot of ways something could go, there are infinite doors out of problems the narrative seems to throw at us, and no two people will come up with the same thing because we're all different.

That, to me, is one of the big ways I personally enjoy and engage with stories. And it's why I genuinely can't be fussed about Izzy's death, not when we're only two-thirds through the story as a whole; observing someone setup and then try and execute a complicated narrative trick is my jam.

But my way of engaging with all this is by no means the best or only way. How we all interact with art, and what speaks to us, is extremely personal. If how this season and Izzy's death went just didn't work for you, that's okay. I'm sorry it wasn't the story you wanted it to be. That blows.

I just know I can't say yet that it didn't work for me. I won't know until I can take in the entire picture, just as I can't judge a finished Lego set by the one piece I step on midway through construction. I can see different ways Izzy's death/rebirth could absolutely work, but will the writer manage it? I dunno.

But I'm willing to wait and see if the stupid puppet can pull it off.

#will it be the content or the length that causes the unfollows?#WHO CAN SAY #but every day is Unfollowing Amnesty Day #farewell and be free #our flag means death #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death seasons 3 rampant speculation #izzy hands #engaging with stories #and curating your own experience #(but for real - I had to stop myself at just the few possibilities I gave for a resurrection)#(real talk if you ask me for more I can just-- come up with more)#(it's my party trick)#(for very certain kinds of very nerdy parties)

153 notes · View notes